psycho-boy

[psycho-boy]

it's really annoying being fat and disabled because everyone always assumes i just need to lose weight and i won't be disabled anymore. that im just lazy or something. they never consider the fact that i actually became disabled while i was thin. the chronic pain began when i was thin. my loss of mobility happened when i was thin. i used to go on runs several times a week. i walked and biked absolutely everywhere. my job allowed to do good manual labour every day, lots of heavy lifting and exercise. i ate healthy and balanced. i didn't become fat until after my disability left me functionally housebound. they just tell me, lose the weight, fatty, and the disability will go away. they don't understand. they don't want to. they just hate fat people. they hate disabled people. I'm fat and disabled. they despise me for daring to exist.

[psycho-boy]

[psycho-boy]

THE CHARLIE BROWN AND SNOOPY SHOW: You Can’t Win, Charlie Brown (1983)

[psycho-boy]

died and came back wrong and no one could tell the difference

[psycho-boy]

How to survive the holidays with fatphobic friends and family

By Amanda Martinez Beck and J Nicole Morgan, Cohosts of the Fat & Faithful podcast

When someone says, “you look great, have you lost weight?”

NICE: No — I choose to focus on other things than weight. Good to see you, though!

SPICE: Nope! Still fat! There are so many more interesting things to talk about than weight.

ICE: Hi. Please do not comment on my body. Thin ≠ happy or better.

When someone comments on something you put on your plate

NICE: I didn’t drive all this way to spend today eating salad :)

SPICE: Oh, I’m sorry — did you think my food choices were any of your business? Because they’re not.

ICE: (Stare) RUDE. (Continue loading plate.)

When someone jokes about the holidays making us fat

NICE: Oh, stop it. One day of feasting is not going to make anyone fatter than they already are.

SPICE: And…? Nothing wrong with being fat.

ICE: Why is fatness a punchline for you? Do you think my body size is funny or to be mocked?

When food is moralized

NICE: Oh, stop… Food is morally neutral and today is about feasting. Let it go!

SPICE: Bad for you? Is it crawling with maggots? ‘Cause that’s the only way I see pie being bad.

ICE: Stop moralizing food. It is harmful to talk and think about food this way and I will not let you talk this way around me and my children.

Whether you chose NICE, SPICE, or ICE, don’t be afraid to voice your boundaries and push back against diet culture and fatphobia during the holiday season.

❤️, Amanda & Nicole

[psycho-boy]

sick and tired of this schizophrenia thing

plus i shaved my head

plus i need immediate dental work

[psycho-boy]

“but it wasn’t that bad”

did it hurt? did you feel scared? unsafe? were you embarrassed? humiliated? terrified? did you feel confused on why? does it keep you up at night? do you avoid being in a similar situation? did you cry? did you want to cry? who told you it wasn’t that bad?

[psycho-boy]

[psycho-boy]

Dont be very woried about me since i deserve all of this

[psycho-boy]

i get suuuper fuckin paranoid about those tarot readers or positivity self-care people that make videos like "if this is on your fyp the universe has a message for you 🫰" "if you're seeing this it's because you need it" or anything like "this is a sign you need to _"

i wish there was a key word or something i could block 😤

[psycho-boy]

sometimes u are rly rly rly sad and then u dance in ur underwear to a song u used to love when you were fourteen and like. ok yeah hope will find me again. and u too

[psycho-boy]

me on 1mg ativan

[psycho-boy]

I could feel the tears brimming and sloshing in me like water in a glass that is unsteady and too full.

Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar

[psycho-boy]

so we're giving Ativan another try. i'm just so worried about getting addicted bc i Fucking Love Ativan. but i think if i follow the prescription and don't go overboard it will be okay. it'll only be for a few weeks probably. right?

[psycho-boy]

schizospec (specifically w/ disorganized thinking) culture is always adding the caveat of "does this make sense?" to anything you say because you know your thoughts are disorganized, but that makes it hard to tell if your own speech is disorganized because it sounds disorganized to you no matter what, even if it's perfectly clear, because of how your brain processes words and thoughts and speech internally

-

[psycho-boy]

[psycho-boy]

im getting out of here alive (my twenties)