#still have a long ways to go but never thought I’d be uploading it

[gothicxreylover]

I saw that you write Yandere and Demon Slayer and I was wondering if I could request how the yandere Hashira (if you don’t want to do them all then just Sanemi, Rengoku and Gyomei) would react to a darling who was abused in their past making them extremely skittish? The reader is very timid and is always on edge. How would the Hashira deal with such a delicate s/o?

‧.·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ♡ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ♡ ‧̍̊·̊°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥

Hello thank you for your request!I couldn’t help myself and write every hashiras that I could remember. I was going to put pictures but tumblr takes forever to upload them and this is my second time trying to publish the story.

‧.·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ♡ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ♡ ‧̍̊·̊°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥

Kyojuro Rengoku

Kyojuro Rengoku was a force of nature, his passionate energy filling every room he entered. But when he met you, he immediately recognized a fragility that made him pause. Your timid, skittish demeanor reminded him of a small bird, wings battered by life but still longing to fly. It broke his heart to see how on edge you were, how you flinched at the slightest noise or avoided eye contact when someone raised their voice.

Kyojuro’s instinct was to protect you with the same fire that burned in his heart. At first, he struggled to reign in his usual exuberance, afraid that his enthusiasm might frighten you. Instead of his usual booming greetings, he softened his tone, speaking to you with a gentleness that surprised even himself.

“You’re safe now,” he said one evening, his amber eyes glowing warmly as he knelt before you. “No matter what happened before, I swear on my life, I’ll never let anyone hurt you again.”

Kyojuro’s yandere tendencies emerged in the way he began to involve himself in every aspect of your life. He took it upon himself to ensure you were always comfortable and protected, but his protective nature soon became overbearing. He insisted on accompanying you everywhere, refusing to leave your side even for a moment.

“You don’t need to go alone,” he said one morning as you prepared to run a simple errand. “What if something happens? I’d never forgive myself. I’ll come with you!”

Despite his intensity, Kyojuro’s love for you was genuine. He constantly reassured you with his words and actions, doing everything he could to help you feel safe. When you were overwhelmed, he would sit beside you, his warmth radiating like a comforting fire.

“Breathe with me,” he’d say, taking slow, steady breaths. His large hands would gently cover yours, grounding you in his presence. “That’s it. You’re doing so well.”

On nights when your nightmares were too much to bear, he’d stay awake with you, his voice steady and soothing as he told stories of his childhood or recited encouraging words.

“You are strong,” he would say, his hand resting lightly on your shoulder. “You’ve been through so much, but you’re still here. That’s what matters.”

And while his obsessive need to protect you might have been suffocating at times, Kyojuro’s warmth and unwavering devotion slowly began to replace the shadows of your past with the light of his love.

Muichiro Tokito

Muichiro Tokito was quiet and detached, often lost in his thoughts. But when he met you, something in him shifted. He couldn’t quite explain it, but the sight of your timid, skittish behavior stirred a protective instinct within him that he hadn’t known he possessed.

At first, he observed you from afar, his sharp eyes taking in every detail. He noticed how you avoided crowds, how your hands trembled when someone spoke too loudly, and how you kept your back to the wall as if bracing for an attack. The realization that someone had hurt you ignited a quiet fury in his heart.

Muichiro’s approach was subtle. He began inserting himself into your life, offering his help in small, unobtrusive ways. He’d appear out of nowhere when you needed assistance, his calm presence soothing your frayed nerves.

“Don’t worry,” he said one day when you hesitated to walk down a crowded street. “I’ll stay with you. No one will bother you while I’m here.”

His yandere tendencies revealed themselves in his possessiveness. Muichiro hated the idea of you being vulnerable to anyone else. He began following you, not out of mistrust but out of an overwhelming need to protect you. If anyone approached you, his soft voice would turn cold, his expression unreadable as he intervened.

“Leave them alone,” he’d say flatly, his hand resting on the hilt of his sword. The threat was clear, even if unspoken.

In private, Muichiro was softer. He would sit with you in silence, his presence steady and grounding. When you struggled to sleep, he would stay by your side, his voice quiet as he reassured you.

“I’m here,” he’d whisper, his pale eyes fixed on you. “Nothing can hurt you anymore. I won’t let it.”

Though his possessiveness sometimes made you uneasy, Muichiro’s quiet devotion slowly began to ease your fears. His calm presence was a balm to your restless heart, and in his company, you started to believe that safety was possible.

Gyomei Himejima

Gyomei Himejima’s towering presence was both intimidating and comforting. Despite his immense strength, he carried himself with a quiet gentleness that set him apart. When he met you, he immediately sensed the weight of your past. Your hesitance, your downcast eyes, and the way you flinched at sudden noises all spoke volumes to him.

Gyomei didn’t ask about your past—he believed you would share it when you were ready. Instead, he focused on creating a safe and peaceful environment for you. He spoke in a soft, soothing tone, his words laced with a deep compassion that made it hard not to trust him.

“You’ve been hurt,” he said one day, his voice filled with quiet sorrow. “But you are not alone anymore. I will protect you, no matter what.”

Gyomei’s yandere tendencies emerged in the form of an all-encompassing protectiveness. He couldn’t bear the thought of you being in danger, and his solution was to keep you close. He rarely let you out of his sight, justifying it as ensuring your safety.

“You’re precious to me,” he explained one evening as you sat together under the stars. “I cannot allow anything to harm you—not even your memories.”

Gyomei’s actions were always gentle, but his determination was unshakable. He eliminated anything that caused you distress, sometimes without you even realizing it. A neighbor who spoke harshly to you would mysteriously stop visiting. A place that brought back bad memories would quietly become off-limits.

In moments of fear or doubt, Gyomei was your rock. He would sit beside you, his large hands enveloping yours as he prayed for your peace. His deep voice was a constant source of reassurance.

“You are stronger than you know,” he said one night when you confided in him about your fears. “And I will be your strength until you find your own. Together, we will overcome this.”

Though his protectiveness sometimes bordered on overbearing, Gyomei’s love was pure and unwavering. In his care, you began to feel the cracks in your heart mend, each moment with him a step closer to healing.

Mitsuri Kanroji

Mitsuri Kanroji had always been a warm and loving person, her affection a beacon of light for those around her. When she met you, however, her love took on an entirely new depth. You were quiet and timid, always on edge, and it broke her heart to see the fear in your eyes. She couldn’t bear the thought of someone hurting you in the past—and she vowed to never let anyone hurt you again.

At first, Mitsuri’s boundless energy overwhelmed you. Her bright, bubbly personality and tendency to throw herself into hugs made you flinch, though you tried to hide it. The moment she noticed, her heart shattered. She pulled back immediately, hands clasped to her chest, her eyes wide with concern.

“I’m so sorry!” she exclaimed, her voice trembling. “I didn’t mean to scare you! I just—oh, I just want to make you feel loved!”

From that day on, Mitsuri did her best to be gentle around you. She toned down her energy, approaching you slowly and speaking in soft, reassuring tones. She showered you with compliments, constantly reminding you of how wonderful you were.

“You’re so brave,” she said one evening, her eyes glistening with emotion. “I don’t know what you’ve been through, but I know you’re stronger than you think. And I’ll do everything I can to make you feel safe.”

Her yandere tendencies manifested in her clinginess. Mitsuri couldn’t stand being away from you, even for a moment. She followed you everywhere, her presence comforting but sometimes overwhelming. If you tried to leave without her, she’d tear up, her lower lip trembling.

“Please don’t go without me,” she’d plead, her voice quivering. “I’ll protect you, I promise. I can’t bear the thought of you getting hurt again.”

Though her possessiveness could be suffocating, Mitsuri’s love was genuine. She wanted nothing more than to see you smile without fear shadowing your expression. At night, when you had trouble sleeping, she would sit by your side, her voice soft and soothing as she hummed a lullaby.

“You’re safe now,” she whispered, her hand gently brushing yours. “I’ll protect you no matter what. I love you more than anything.”

And as her arms wrapped around you, holding you close, you couldn’t help but feel the warmth of her devotion melting away the lingering cold of your past.

Shinobu Kocho

Shinobu Kocho’s sharp intellect and gentle demeanor made her an enigma. To most, she appeared kind and composed, but there was an intensity in her gaze that often went unnoticed. When she met you, it didn’t take long for her to notice your skittishness. The way you flinched at sudden movements, the haunted look in your eyes—it all painted a picture she didn’t need you to explain.

Shinobu approached you carefully, her voice always soft and her movements deliberate. She never asked about your past directly; instead, she offered a safe space for you to exist without judgment.

“You don’t have to tell me anything,” she said one evening as the two of you sat together in the garden. “But if you ever feel ready, I’m here to listen.”

Her kindness made you feel at ease, but Shinobu’s yandere tendencies began to show in the way she subtly controlled your environment. She ensured you were always within her line of sight, often under the guise of concern. If someone upset you, she’d smile sweetly at them, but her eyes glinted with a cold promise.

“Do be careful,” she’d say with a honeyed tone, her smile never wavering. “It would be such a shame if something unfortunate happened.”

Though her possessiveness was subtle, it was unyielding. Shinobu began isolating you from anyone she deemed unworthy of your trust, all while making it seem like she was doing it for your benefit. She justified it as protecting you from harm, but deep down, she relished being the only one you relied on.

At night, when the memories of your past crept in and left you trembling, Shinobu was there. She’d sit beside you, her presence steady and calming as she gently stroked your hair.

“Breathe,” she whispered, her voice like a balm. “You’re safe now. I won’t let anything hurt you.”

Though her obsession sometimes showed through the cracks of her carefully maintained facade, Shinobu’s love for you was undeniable. She would do anything to keep you safe—even if it meant taking drastic measures.

And as the days turned into weeks, you found yourself leaning on her more and more, her soothing words and unwavering presence slowly teaching you what it meant to feel safe. Little did you know, Shinobu was already planning a future where you would never need anyone but her.

Giyu Tomioka

Giyu Tomioka had always been an enigma, his quiet demeanor keeping others at arm’s length. But with you, it was different. You were his solace, the person who reminded him that even someone like him could feel alive. He noticed your skittish nature the moment he met you. The way your eyes darted to every shadow, the way you flinched at sudden movements—it was painfully familiar to him.

It wasn’t until much later, after earning your hesitant trust, that he pieced together the story behind your fear. The bruises of the past lingered not on your skin, but in the way you carried yourself, the way you recoiled when someone raised their voice. It ignited a quiet storm within him—a need to protect you, to ensure no one ever hurt you again.

Giyu didn’t talk much about your past; he knew you weren’t ready to share. Instead, he let his actions speak for him. He ensured your home was secure, often checking the locks multiple times before leaving. He began accompanying you everywhere, his presence silent but steadfast. Whenever you startled, his calm voice would ground you.

“You’re safe,” he would murmur, his eyes soft yet intense. “No one will harm you while I’m here.”

But Giyu’s protectiveness slowly evolved into something darker. The thought of you being hurt or frightened because of someone else was unbearable. He began eliminating anyone who dared to disturb your peace. A rude merchant? Gone. A stranger who looked at you the wrong way? They vanished without a trace.

One evening, you noticed his knuckles were bruised, and his haori smelled faintly of blood. When you asked, his response was clipped. “It’s nothing. Just… doing what I must to keep you safe.”

Despite his intensity, Giyu was careful around you. He would never raise his voice or make sudden movements. At night, when you woke from nightmares, trembling and panicked, he would sit beside you, his hand hovering over yours as if afraid to frighten you further.

“Sleep,” he’d whisper. “I’m here. Nothing will hurt you ever again.”

And though his possessiveness grew stronger with each passing day, so did his gentleness. For Giyu, you were his world—a fragile treasure he’d guard with his life, even if it meant losing himself in the process.

Sanemi Shinazugawa

Sanemi Shinazugawa was a storm of anger and raw emotion, his demeanor sharp and abrasive. But when he met you, something in him shifted. He noticed the way you flinched at loud noises, the way you shrank into yourself when someone raised their voice. At first, it frustrated him—not because of you, but because he recognized the signs of someone who had been hurt.

It wasn’t in Sanemi’s nature to tread carefully, but for you, he tried. His voice, usually harsh and biting, softened around you. He kept his distance at first, knowing that his intensity might frighten you. But the more he saw of your skittish behavior, the more his protective instincts kicked in.

“Who did this to you?” he demanded one day, his voice trembling with barely suppressed rage. You didn’t answer, tears welling in your eyes instead. He backed off immediately, running a hand through his hair in frustration. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to—damn it.”

Sanemi’s way of helping was blunt and straightforward. He wouldn’t coddle you, but he would never let you feel unsafe again. He made sure to be the first to step in if anyone so much as looked at you the wrong way. His yandere tendencies began to show when he started following you—at first from a distance, then more overtly.

“You don’t need to go out alone,” he said gruffly. “It’s not safe.”

He didn’t care if you protested. Your safety was more important than your independence, as far as he was concerned. And if anyone dared to mention your past or even hint at hurting you again, Sanemi’s wrath was swift and merciless.

One night, you overheard him talking to someone outside—a low, threatening growl in his voice. “If I ever see you near them again, you won’t live to regret it.” The next day, that person was gone, and Sanemi acted as if nothing had happened.

Despite his rough edges, Sanemi showed you his softer side in private moments. When you were too afraid to sleep, he’d sit beside you, his hand hovering protectively near yours.

“You’re safe,” he’d say, his voice uncharacteristically gentle. “I won’t let anything happen to you. Not while I’m around.”

Though his possessiveness sometimes frightened you, it was clear that Sanemi’s love for you ran deep. He would destroy the world for you if it meant you’d never have to feel afraid again. And in his own clumsy, fierce way, he began to teach you what safety and love could feel like.

Obanai Iguro

Obanai had always been quiet in his obsession with you. His sharp eyes followed your every move, not because he mistrusted you, but because he couldn’t bear the idea of you slipping through his fingers. When he learned of your past, it wasn’t from your lips—you were far too guarded for that. Instead, it was through subtle clues: your flinch when someone raised their hand too quickly, the way you hesitated to speak, and the haunted look in your eyes when you thought no one was watching.

Obanai didn’t confront you outright. He knew that his intensity might scare you. Instead, he created a cocoon of safety around you. At first, it was small things: warning others to keep their distance, subtly nudging you into situations where you had control, and keeping Kaburamaru curled around your wrist, his comforting weight a silent reminder that you weren’t alone.

But his yandere tendencies began to creep in. Obanai grew increasingly possessive, unwilling to let you out of his sight. When you flinched at the approach of an unfamiliar man in the market, Obanai acted swiftly, his hand tightening on your arm as his mismatched eyes glared daggers at the man.

“Don’t worry,” he whispered, his voice soft but tinged with malice. “I’ll never let anyone hurt you again. Not even the memory of them.”

Over time, he began to isolate you, justifying it as protecting you from a cruel world. Yet, there were moments when his tenderness shone through—quiet nights where he held your trembling hand, his voice barely above a whisper as he promised that you were safe with him.

Tengen Uzui and His Wives

Tengen’s home was a whirlwind of noise, laughter, and affection. But when you arrived—a timid, skittish presence in the midst of their vibrancy—everything changed. The flamboyant Sound Hashira and his wives were not blind to your pain, and the cracks in your demeanor didn’t go unnoticed.

Makio was the first to grow protective. Her sharp eyes and sharper tongue were quick to cut down anyone who made you uncomfortable. “Don’t look at them like that,” she snapped at a vendor one day, stepping in front of you. “You’re lucky I don’t smash your stall for that glare.” Her fiery nature sometimes frightened you, but she always softened her tone when speaking to you.

Suma was more emotional, often crying on your behalf. “Why didn’t anyone protect you?” she’d wail, clinging to your hand. Though her clinginess could be overwhelming, she was also the first to notice when you needed comfort, holding you close in her arms and whispering reassurances.

Hina, ever the calm and nurturing presence, took charge of creating a safe space for you. She ensured you had quiet moments away from the chaos, always bringing you tea or sitting beside you in silence when words felt like too much.

And then there was Tengen. His flamboyant nature made you nervous at first, his booming laughter and confident stride overwhelming. But he adapted quickly, learning to temper his energy around you. His protectiveness, however, was unmatched. When he learned of your past, his usual playful grin vanished, replaced with an icy determination.

“They’ll never touch you again,” he said, his voice low but seething with anger. “I’ll make sure of it. You’re part of our family now, and no one messes with what’s mine.”

His yandere tendencies revealed themselves in his need to control every aspect of your life. He forbade you from venturing out alone and assigned his wives to accompany you wherever you went. Though the intensity of their protection could be suffocating, it was impossible to doubt their love for you.

One night, as the five of you sat around the hearth, Tengen spoke softly, a rare moment of vulnerability in his voice. “You’re more precious to us than you know. Whatever you’ve been through, we’ll erase it with a lifetime of love. That’s a promise.”

And in that moment, surrounded by their unwavering devotion, you felt a flicker of hope that maybe, just maybe, you could heal.

[skeleton-beneath-this-skin]

My profile picture is a chibi Takeshi with bunny ears…I drew that…

LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL.

[multiversediaries]

god of mischief indeed

loki laufeyson x reader

summary: you would’ve never thought this was what loki said about you when you weren’t around.

warnings: very small angst, wholesome, fluff

part count: 2/2

an: omg so sorry for the super late upload!!! hope you all enjoy!!

part one

it had been only a few days ever since you overheard loki speak with thor about you. you had moved into your new room and you were comfortable. but even then, you wouldn’t and couldn’t lie to yourself and say you didn’t miss him to death.

you sat up on your bed, unable to sleep yet again tonight. you found yourself reminiscing of all those things he did that you mistook for habits. your hand ran towards the empty pillow besides yours. you missed him like crazy, but those words of his wouldn’t leave your mind. you still couldn’t believe how he proudly admitted to playing with your feelings, and how cold he seemed. you have been distant ever since. completely ignoring his existence. you wanted nothing to do with him, and everyone could tell.

you decided something to drink could help. you stood up from your bed and left your room to find yourself something to help you relax. you walked into the kitchen and began looking for any sort of tea that could help you sleep at least a few hours tonight. you sighed in pure exhaustion as you continued to look in the dark. after a few minutes of endless searching, the lights of the kitchen suddenly switched on. you almost jumped, startled.

you turned around, ready to joke with whoever turned the light on. yet all you did was frown at the sight of loki. of the man who had just broken your heart into pieces only a few days back. you took in his appearance, his messy long hair, dressed in casual clothing, it was such a nice sight. a sight you used to adore but now only caused you pain. you sighed and turned around yet again, continuing to find yourself something soothing to drink.

loki let out a sigh behind you, walking closer. he stood by the end of the counter, as he watched your every move, confused as to why you were suddenly ignoring him.

“love?” loki called out, and goosebumps covered your skin. you hated the effect he easily had on you. you ignored his call entirely. “darling, what’s going on?” he asked, shamelessly. you almost chuckled, whilst you started to heat up water in a pot. loki sighed deeper, not understanding why you seemed so distant.

“y/n.” he said sternly, but ignored yet again. he walked closer to you, now grabbing your arm, to gain your attention. “y/n—“

“don’t touch me.” you spat at him, removing his hands off you, in both anger and sadness. he stared at you in disbelief.

“have i done something? why do you act this way towards me, love?” he asked, and you almost wanted to hit him. did he really not know? you shook your head, amazed by him.

“why do you care so much for someone you’re only having fun with, huh?” you asked, crossing your arms infront of your chest. you were tired of his lies. loki tilted his head, confused, furrowing his eyebrows.

“love, what are you—”

“anyone must be insane to believe you’d settle with me of all people.” you continued, until he seemed to have realized what you were talking about.

“you heard.”

“i heard.” you replied, drily. loki sighed deeply, before looking back into your pained eyes. you turned around yet again, to continue what you were doing.

“dear—“

“stop calling me that. stop talking to me as if i’m stupid.” you interrupted him. loki took a deep breath, trying to find the words to possibly calm you down.

“y/n.” he said, dropping all the nicknames all together. “you have it all wrong. believe me, i—”

“you what, loki? you love me? oh, please, you can’t think i’d actually believe that.” you laughed, turning to look at him, his expression further saddening but you couldn’t care less.

“y/n. listen to me, won’t you?” loki attempted to say, his hands trying to find their place in your waist, yet you pulled away from him again. “come back to our room. let’s talk this out.” he tried convincing you.

“i mean absolutely nothing to you, laufeyson. nothing.” you painfully admitted. “i am simply someone you can screw around with whenever you’re bored. i’m nothing more or nothing less to you.” you continued, loki shook his head, disagreeing with you.

“so i won’t burden you any longer— hell, you probably only came to look for me because you wanted someone to sleep with, didn’t you?” you finished, turning around again to continue what you came for. loki stood behind you, as if frozen in place, not knowing what to do or what to say. his hand started to reach out again, needing to feel you, to hug you and beg you to come back to him. but his pride got the best of him. he pulled his hands back and began walking away from you.

“very well.” was the last thing he said, before he walked back into his room, leaving you all alone in the kitchen.

“oh, my god.” you whispered, leaning against the counter, now trying to catch your breath. it took everything in you to not forgive him and hug him. you didn’t even realize your hands were shaking until you tried pouring the hot water into a pot, and failed. maybe it was best you didn’t drink anything that night.

=============

“you clean up nicely.” tony remarked, as you walked into the party. you let out a small giggle, shaking your head. the avengers had planned a party, to celebrate all their recent victories. you were excited for it. it had been so long since you last spoke to loki. it was painful to say the least.

it now seemed as if he didn’t care about you anymore. you’d catch him staring at you here and there, but his eyes were not full of love like before. you could only see anger and even confusion at times.

but loki. he was suffering as he watched you from a far, being so happy without him. god, it was eating him alive. he felt insane. he couldn’t understand why you seemed to be doing so well without him. how could you? when he’s helpless without you? but he would never admit his feelings for you. he wouldn’t dare speak to you.

but even then, loki couldn’t prevent his eyes from widening at the sight of you. the sight of his woman, looking as gorgeous as ever. your beauty was intense. his jaw clenched, as he leaned against the bar, watching your every move. and you knew of this. you could feel his eyes as if they were his beloved daggers. yet your thoughts were interrupted by pietro, laying his hand on your lower waist.

loki let out a breathless, bitter chuckle. who does this boy think he is? loki grabbed his cup of whiskey and drank the entirely of it, soon ordering yet another glass, his eyes still glued to you.

“you look beautiful.” pietro whispered in your ear, and you couldn’t help but blush. it has been so long since you were last complimented on your appearance. it wasn’t even close to how loki seemed to worship you back then, but those were probably lies, right?

“are you alone tonight, darling?” pietro asked yet again. you nodded gently, looking into his eyes. he smiled widely and shook his head, leaning once again to whisper in your ear.

“not anymore.”

you giggled, softly hitting his arm. he chuckled at your loveliness and looked at the others, trying to catch up on their conversation. you grinned softly, completely oblivious to the jealous loki watching you from afar.

“lovely couple.” thor broke loki’s silence, followed by a mocking chuckle, sitting next to him at the bar. “don’t you think?” he asked, whilst ordering his own glass.

loki stayed completely quiet, not daring to look away.

“he seems to compliment her quite well...” thor continued, looking at his brother besides him. he watched as loki’s expression changed all together.

“brother—“

“it wouldn’t surprise me if pietro’s currently pursuing her. it’s slightly obvious.” thor interrupted loki, who seemed to be getting more uncomfortable by the minute.

“i mean, she is a gorgeous woman—”

“stop it, will you?” loki finally spoke, his hands massaging his temples in frustration. thor chuckled softly, taking a small sip of his glass, amused by his brother’s stubbornness.

“what is it?” thor said after some minutes of silence, a bit worried for his brother. loki had never acted this way. loki let out a big sigh, meeting thor’s eyes for the first time.

“i simply—“

“you’re in love with her.” thor said, shrugging his shoulders, as if it was obvious. loki widen his eyes, almost shocked. was it truly that obvious? were his feelings that apparent? can’t be… because if they were, why didn’t you notice? if they were, why were you here with pietro tonight? loki looked back at you, his eyes pained as he watched you enjoying yourself at the presence of another person that wasn’t him.

“i don’t know what it is you’re talking about.”

“won’t you stop being dishonest with yourself?” thor said, somewhat annoyed by loki’s obliviousness. loki looked at thor once again, his eyes full of confusion and sadness.

“i can tell, brother. how smitten you are with her. we all can.” thor declared, finishing his drink. he let out an exhausted sigh before continuing. “you’re the only one who still hasn’t realized it.”

“i—” loki started, his eyes going back to your figure, dancing with pietro in the dance floor. his heart sinking whenever you’d smile, his hands sweating in nervousness. “i don’t know what to do.” loki confessed, dropping his head in defeat. thor listened closely.

“I don’t know how to alleviate— i just— don’t know how to fix this.” loki shook his head, as he remembered the things he said, and how hurt you were because of him. “i haven’t got a clue on what to do to get her back.”

“mhm…” thor hummed, as if thinking before speaking up soon after. “have you ever heard of apologizing?” thor joked, earning a deadly look from the god. thor raised his arms in defense, chuckling. “i’m just saying, brother. an apology can do so much… and your confession.” thor said, loki looked at his brother, nodding his head in agreement. thor offered him a small smile, before tapping his shoulder.

“you must hurry, before you genuinely lose her.” thor finished, before walking away, leaving loki all alone. loki let out a breath, he didn’t know he was holding and nodded his head. he needed to speak to you. he needed to get you back.

he kept watching you. waiting for the perfect moment to snatch you away. yet pietro was by your side all night. it was so angering and bothersome to loki. his moment soon came though, when you excused yourself. you needed some fresh air, your social battery was already running out.

you offered smiles as you walked through the party, there were more people than you expected. you let out a thankful sigh as soon as you officially walked out of the party, towards the foyer. the air was cold. causing you to softly hug yourself, seeking warmth. you closed your eyes, finally feeling peace and enjoying the quiet. you didn’t even feel the presence of loki, before he softly spoke up.

“hiding from your date?” loki gently said, breaking the silence. you almost jumped by the sudden sound of his voice. you offered him a small smile, before going back to looking upfront, shaking your head.

“just needed some fresh air.” you simply replied, licking your dry lips. loki nodded, still keeping his place close behind you. he could smell your sweet perfume, you were wearing his favorite.

“why are you with him tonight?” loki finally asked, somewhat terrified of your answer. you looked back him, confused.

“why do you care?” you asked.

“answer me, y/n.” loki pleaded. you furrowed your eyebrows, fully turning around and facing him. you tilted your head in confusion.

“because he seems to care for me, and—”

“and i don’t?”

“w—what?” you asked, baffled by his words. “no, loki. you don’t.” you confirmed, looking deeply into his eyes. loki scoffed a grin, bewildered by your stupid response. how could you ever think like that? when he loved you so?

“you must have lost your mind.” loki mumbled, shaking his head. that stupid grin of his still plastered on his face. you bit your lip, angrily. “you know i do, y/n.”

“do i?” you asked, tears beginning to well up in your eyes. “do i really? you never tell me anything, how am i supposed to be so sure of that?”

“y/n—” loki started, now walking closer to you, his hands reaching out to lay on their place on your soft cheeks, yet you pulled back from him. his eyes looked at you, shocked and hurt. “please. let me show you.” he almost begged. you sniffled, trying to decide on whether letting him touch you. after a while, you nodded.

loki placed his hands on your cheeks, his thumb softly caressing your shiny skin as he admired you. it had been so long since he had actually looked at you. so long since he had the privilege to touch you and even breathe the same air as you. he locked eyes with you once again and spoke up.

“of course i care for you. there’s absolutely no one else in this or in any universe that i care for and that matters to me more than you.” loki confessed, and you froze in place. you couldn’t believe this was happening. you couldn’t believe the words that were leaving his mouth.

“but then, why— why would you—”

“i don’t know why i’d say something like that. i truthfully— please believe me when i say that i didn’t mean any of that.” loki interrupted you, his hand softly removing a piece of hair from your face. you sighed shakily as you listened to him.

“i just don’t understand…” you whispered. “if you really care, then why would you say something like that? why wouldn’t you want to be with me?” you asked, your voice breaking mid sentence. loki felt his heart breaking into a million pieces as he watched the tears leave your eyes.

“oh, love.” loki said softly, almost in a whisper as he tried drying your endless tears. “i— i’m terrified.” loki confessed, his hands dropping gently to his sides, and stepping back from you, giving you your space. you looked at him through your watery eyes.

“of what?”

“i’m in love with you.” loki bluntly confessed. and you froze in place. he was… what? loki bit his bottom lip, his hands starting to sweat. he even looked shocked himself by his sudden confession. you could even see his chest sinking, trying to find his breath.

“i want you— i’ve wanted you for so long. i can rarely breath whenever you’re not besides me. i feel at ease by simply hearing you breathe.” loki rumbled, his hands running through his hair anxiously.

“i just— i wasn’t sure of how you felt, hell, i wasn’t sure of how i felt.” loki continued.

“loki…” you started, taking a cautious step closer to him.

“no one has ever loved me or has ever treated me the way you have and.. i am simply horrified of losing… this, by my greed. i— want more. i—”

“i love you. i— i do. there’s not a day i haven’t not loved you. i— i love you so much that it can’t even begin to be described. so much that i could and would die from it.” loki continued and yet, you couldn’t move. you just listened to his words, letting him let it all out.

“however… i don’t deserve it. i don’t deserve you. i’m aware of that.” loki said softly, so sadly it brought tears to yours eyes yet again. “how could you ever feel anything asides from hate for someone like me?” loki chuckled, and you were at the verge of tears. it hurt so bad, seeing the man you love be so insecure and overall love starved, to the point where he actually believes he’s unlovable.

“loki— listen to me, will you?” you almost whispered, closing the space between the two of you. your hands ran to his cheeks, cupping his handsome face. his pained expression pulling at your heart strings.

“i’m being selfish, y/n, i acknowledge that. but i realized i can’t live without you. my world has no meaning if you’re not in it, but i can’t— you don’t deserve this.” loki almost sobbed in your hands, closing his eyes, trying his hardest to remain strong. you couldn’t breathe by watching the man you loved so much be so vulnerable, and all for you.

“i love you.” you gently started, your thumbs stroking his soft skin. you heard as loki took a shaky breath, his hands hovering over your body, as if scared to touch you. his eyes starting to water as he looked back into your gorgeous eyes.

“i’ve loved you ever since i first laid my eyes on you.” you continued, and watched as loki closed his eyes again, a small tear leaving his eyes.

“i’m sorry.” loki apologized, already in tears and you couldn’t help but hug your gentle giant.

“i know. it’s alright.” you consoled him, your hand stroking his back lovingly as he cried in your shoulder.

“but never say or do anything that stupid ever again.” you joked, earning a small grin from loki, who only nodded desperately.

“y/n.” loki spoke, after pulling away from your hug and now looking directly into your eyes. “are—are you sure? of this? of us?” he asked insecurely, and it made you frown deeper.

“loki—”

“do you understand all the danger there is to being by my side? i’m not a hero, y/n, i will never be and i just— i don’t want to ruin any perception you could have of me.” loki said, his voice full of anxiety. you placed your hand in his cheek yet again, and leaned in to finally kiss your man.

you heard his breathe hitch as you placed your soft lips on top of his. you kissed loki sweetly, intending to communicate all of your feelings for him in one simple kiss. soon enough, loki finally placed his hands on your waist, comfortable and confident enough to touch you. his tongue soon entered your mouth, now fully tasting you. the kiss lasted a few minutes, and you didn’t want it to end. you didn’t know how much you loved kissing loki, until you were deprived of it for so long. you soon pulled away, resting your head on his.

“i love and want you, loki. not a perception. i want you because you’re you.” you said gently, as to comfort him. he sighed softly, only listening to what you had to say.

“i don’t know what you’ve been through, that has caused you to think like this, but you deserve all the love in this world, and i’m honored to finally give it to you.” you continued, placing a sweet kiss to his cheek, earning a shy smile from the god. “please let me continue loving you, loki laufeyson.”

loki didn’t even have to answer. he just wrapped his arms around you, engulfing you into a loving hug. you giggled softly, returning the hug. you caressed his back lovingly, as loki finally realized you were his. his woman, the love of his life. he found himself smiling knowing that his insecurities didn’t win, and here he was, hugging the love of his life. loki soon pulled away, looking into your sweet eyes.

“pietro.”

“pietro…?” you repeated, confused.

“if he ever dares to lay his dirty hands on you again, i swear—” loki was interrupted by your laughter. he couldn’t help the smile that appeared on his face as he heard you laugh, but this time because of him.

“i’m serious, darling. watching him shamelessly flirt with you has been torture these part few weeks. i will not stand it any longer.” loki said, shaking his head. you giggled, nodding your head.

“you deserved it.” you joked, loki smirking at your comment.

“i did.” loki said, softly pecking your lips lovingly.

“yes, i did.”

—

taglist <3

@dragonmurray @lokidokieokie @luringfantasy @evolvingchaoswitch @kerst666 @crimson25 @hanndotcom @kittiowolf210 @yelkmelk @princessdragon23 @valkyre9125 @saltedcoffeescotch @assembelingavenger @oreojenni @bigbaddie45 @theliability @darknights04 @ruth-is-a-koala-bear @moony-2001 @chronicallybubbly @catradora333 @wiltedflowersundertowers @mayemperess @spiderlily-w1tch-blog @andurgonnabehappy @cultish-corner @richardsamboramylove55 @robynjasp @softestqueeen @creat0r-cat @maverickroyalromanoff

[semischarmed]

Danny

Always have to keep you guys guessing ;) so this one is veeeeery different from my normal content, but I figured I’d put something tamer to balance out the upcoming Pt. 2 to that Thread story. It’s a bit long, but I didn’t feel like keeping two concurrent multi-parters. Let me know what you think!

=============

“So, it’s the necklace?” I asked the professor at the university. It was a wonder I was able to keep up with even half of the lecture that had just transpired. 

“Something like that.” The professor replied back to our small group. “We’re all just a sea of electrical impulses. With this computer model, we can accurately track and mimic the exact electrical shocks needed to replicate a mind. Of course, the mind is so much data, the transfer-the upload needs to be instantaneous with an equivalent download- the university doesn’t give us enough grant money for computers that can store that much data, much less secure it. So, we needed biological means of storage. That’s why there’s an even number of participants”.

The room was utterly confused. For one, there was definitely an odd number of participants. Dr. Cohn was never known for dumbing down complex concepts, but even the smartest kids in class seemed stumped the past few hours. Maybe he didn’t have to go in that level of depth for his experiment.

Our group was a mix. It seemed like a sampling of the very best of the class, and a few average performers. I did find it weird they offered extra credit to students that probably didn’t need it. Sticking out like a sore thumb was Chad. He was the school quarterback, though no one was sure for much longer, as he was on academic probation. I couldn’t help but speculate with Kat, a top performer, on his placement. Combining our limited knowledge on the students in our class, and the school’s football team, we landed on this being some sort of extra credit that the university probably forced on poor Dr. Cohn. Ever the nosy one, Mackenzie piped in. “Of course they’d try to save their star quarterback. I heard 3 professors already quit trying to bring up his GPA. This is basically his last shot“.  

And then there was Danny. Part of that “very best” group. Unlike the other students in the room, he seemed to take in the professor’s whole lecture and was deep in thought. His face lay still, serene. But I could see the intelligence behind his eyes spinning to life. I always liked when he did that, like he was chewing on an idea before spitting out the most brilliant insights. Or maybe I just like how the corner of his mouth would turn up into a small smile when he finished thinking things through. I caught myself staring again, thanking my luck that no one had seen. Mackenzie laughed a little behind me. I sighed, laughing a small defeat. Almost no one had seen. 

“So it basically swaps our brains?” Danny inquired. He looked around the room, gauging our comprehension. That was when it clicked for me. He took note and let out a small smile. I smiled back. That was the other thing I liked about the guy. He always seemed to want everyone to succeed. This wasn’t the first time he’d thoroughly condense a difficult topic into a quick word or phrase the class could understand. His eyes smiled whenever he could recognize concepts “clicking” for people and I saw it do the same as my other classmates- even Chad- figured it out. I recoiled a little, from a nudge from Mackenzie. I sighed again, airing a “thank you” her way. I had been staring again.

“No, nothing like that! Could you imagine how difficult an operation like that would be? All this does is swap your mind.” Aaaand just like that, we were back to confusion. Danny smiled though.

“Got it. So your brain’s the hardware, your mind’s the software. The necklaces do a switcheroo and then new hardware, same software- or, vice versa, I suppose.” Back on track.

“Wait, how much of ‘me’ is in the hardware? Like my memories?” I blurted out, immediately growing red. That seemed to have garnered an approving smile from Danny. I grew redder.

The professor’s eyes lit up. “Now you’re thinking like a scientist.” He laughed before shrugging. “Who’s to say… we are running an experiment after all”. Dr. Cohn always was a messy one.

“So, uh, how long is it supposed to last?” Mackenzie asked.

“That’s the fun of it, once we’re paired, the switch can go for as little or as long you as want!” We. That threw me off a little. I caught his glance to Chad. “Don’t worry, I’ll be a part of this experiment too.” The professor said, with a smile that felt too wide. “Don’t forget to record your notes and thoughts into this log book. For privacy, they’ve been password protected- we’ll reconvene this little group in a year and just draft up a summary of your experiences from these books.”

There was an obvious question everyone’s mind. Thankfully, Kevin asked it. “So who’s swapping with who?”

The professor’s eyes lit up in excitement. “We’ve all been paired, randomized of course. I’ll leave the pairings to figure out when they’d want to swap. Just put on your necklaces at 6pm tonight and start your log books. After that, whenever either of you squeezes your necklace, the swap will ensue”. From the way the professor’s eyes kept darting to Chad, something told me it hadn’t been entirely random.

I thought through the possible pairings. Kevin was kind of cute, I guess. Though I wasn’t sure if it was just the airport effect with how limited our group size was. Kat or Mackenzie would just be weird. Mackenzie especially- that girl knows a little too much about me and lord knows what she’d do behind my wheel. Running down the list of people, there was Chad. Of course, who wouldn’t want to be in Chad’s shoes- I had to dispel a dirty thought that passed my mind. Everyone’s probably thinking it. The professor’s body wouldn’t be too bad either, I could always just pressure the faculty into giving me better grades, maybe boost the grades of my friends. And then there was Danny. Danny. My heartrate shot up instantly.

Sitting in my dorm room, I looked at the clock with a bit of fear. “5:55 pm,” it read. I took a few deep breaths, trying to calm my nerves. “5:59 pm”. Nope. There was nothing calm about this. I closed my eyes shut, as I felt the necklace whir a little. Looks like someone else already squeezed it. 

Zzzip

=============

“Log book 1: 

<3

It was Danny. Holy fuck, I got to be in Danny.”

I stared at the journal entry. That was all I could manage to write with my shaking hands. I could hardly believe it. A lifetime can change in 5 minutes, apparently. My heart was still beating and my face still flushed when we switched back. He had a soccer game so our first meeting had to be short. 

 My first minute was just looking down at my new Danny-worn hands, breathing through his lungs, inhaling as much as I could of his room. I wanted to commit this man to memory. My logic-or, Danny’s logic perhaps, told me there would inevitably be more swaps to come, but my mind wouldn’t have it. Whatever piece of Danny I could get, however minuscule, I wanted to stretch every moment infinite.

I felt a sense of guilt wash over me, as my new Danny-worn package began to harden when I realized he was in soccer gear. I tried to shake off the feeling- I couldn’t do that to him. Then came the text. I recognized the number of course, it was my old body’s. “Hey man, glad to see we’re partners”. My heart stirred. “It’s Danny, but you probably already knew that”. To see him text me so casually froze me in place. “Anyways, I do have a game coming up, mind if we switch back?” I couldn’t even bring Danny’s hands to answer himself. “I’ll take that as a yes”.

Zzzip

And just like that, I was back. My hand clinging to my chest, breaths ragged. 

Wait, Fuck. Was I still hard in his body when we switched back?

=============

Zzzip

“Log book 7:

Met up today. Joint gym day. 

Gym feels better in Danny’s body. Unsure if exercise has a different effect on people’s bodies, or if it’s tied to our minds. Seems to be a lag in my emotions.”

I’m not really one to be consistent with exercise. I set the book down, and relocked it, panting as I had in our first switch, but this time due to Danny working my body to the brink.

I think he noticed, because he apologized profusely when I slumped in the bench to catch my breath in the locker room.

I can’t believe I had agreed to it. Danny wanted to test the effects of exercise with different bodies. He stated he wanted to see what it was like doing routine exercises in a different body. Does the body retain that physical memory? Or is it the mind? I only agreed because it was Danny. So, there I was, in the school gym staring at the door like a fish out of water. 

I felt a reassuring hand on my back before my ears immediately shot red when I realized whose hand it was. “Do you have your log book on hand? Should probably write down notes immediately after the switchback”. I immediately panicked at thought that he wanted to compare notes, thinking back to my first entry but he seemed to have caught on to my thought process and immediately dismissed the idea. “It wouldn’t make sense to taint the data with outside factors. Danny was probably the only person that fully understood the professor’s entire experiment so I took his word for it.

When we swapped, I had to focus on not instantly growing hard. For someone seemingly so bookish, the guy was surprisingly fit. Walking to the treadmill, I felt every muscle brimming with power. My first run in his body. Euphoric. Danny was a well-oiled machine. Every component moving in tandem. Lungs drawing in and out powerful gusts of air. Eyes staring me in the mirror, furrowed in powerful determination, and legs gliding with a grace that did not diminish the power behind each foot. I lost myself in the exercise, content to just being inside his body, guided by his body. I finished the run with a heavy pant, knowing full well I’d be hard beyond belief at what lay before me. I eyed myself in the mirror, in sweat-laden body of my crush. The scent was indescribable. Like a pleasant musk basking in the damp earth. Was it always this good? Was this how other people felt when they exercised? I twirled the necklace around Danny’s neck, making sure to not squeeze, mentally thanking whatever gods there may be for this experience.

I looked back at Danny, in my body. His running form was a bit clumsy, but there was a confidence in them that I didn’t often see in myself. Maybe a trick of the light, or residual feelings from the run I just had but I was captivated. I honestly looked almost cute like this. 

He finished, panting before immediately pulling out his book and writing a few notes. He beamed back at me, pointing at the necklace. Even in my body, that smile was unmistakably his. I smiled back, ready to swap once more.

Zzzip

Weird. I still felt the infatuation. I looked back at the body I had just inhabited, still feeling the butterflies in my stomach. It was Danny so I was used to those, but not immediately after a swap. The past few times it always took a second or two to readjust. Danny looked at me, a bit uncomfortable. No doubt it had been from the grave face I was making. I shook my head, not wanting to worry him. Or worse, force a premature end to this experience. “It’s nothing, just a hell of an exercise haha”.

This may be a bit of a problem.

=============

“Interesting, and you’re sure it’s residual feeling?” Said a slightly disinterested Chad, eyeing his dreamy biceps.

“Yes, when I.. uh.. felt angry in his body and switched back, my body did too.”  

“Well it is a swap, of course so your mind returning to its body would feel the same things it felt…” The professor in chad’s body spoke in a slightly faraway tone, like there was something he’d rather be doing. “Though, it shouldn’t be this instant. It’s not physically possible unless…”

I winced, worried for the worst and hoping to remain Danny’s partner.

“This might be a bit of an issue if those necklaces are defective…” He then mumbled something about permanent effects on the mind. “If they are, we’d have to stop the entire experiment. It wouldn’t be right-“ The professor caught a glimpse of Chad’s body in the reflection of his door before looking back at me. “Look, maybe just limit the swaps to low pressure situations, and try to avoid high-emotion situations in case your ‘residual’ hypothesis is correct. Cause if that were true, it would mean you leave a little of yourself every time you swap.”

“Got it, professor”.

“Maybe keep this side effect a little secret for now. We wouldn’t want the others worrying and tainting the data,” Chad’s body spoke in an authoritative tone as his hands sauntered below the desk. “Oh, and please close the door on your way out“.

=============

“Log book 50:

Pain.” 

We had been swapping fairly frequently, despite the professor’s warning. Danny was a drug I couldn’t shake. The guy was my kryptonite and he had no idea. Everytime we swapped, every moment we shared, I couldn’t bring myself to tell him about the professor’s words. Every swap back, I could feel my heart beating as wildly as my first time, stomach churning pleasantly. It was like a wave of sweetness whenever I had a chance to be Danny. Then, the guilt came soon after.

Danny seemed to like the spontaneity. Eventually, we settled on free-switching, aside from classes. Some days, I’d randomly switch and my eyes would focus on my homework, completed with a little smiley face drawn on the corner. I tried that little trick with him once, only to get a text back of his graded assignment, scored uncharacteristically low for the top performer, followed by another text “Nice try anyway lol” 

=============

“Log book 190:

I hate you.”

Zzzip

“Danny, is something wrong?” The shock of the situation stopped me from initially processing anything I was seeing. My clumsy hands. I had been fumbling with my collar, when I accidentally initiated a swap. A wave of embarrassment hit, and then anger. Seething, bottomless anger.

I almost dropped the flowers Danny’s body had been handing her. Without explanation, I quickly squeezed the necklace to send me back.

Zzzip

I sat in stunned silence for a second, before the anger drew me back to my thoughts.

Who was I angry at? Of course it was a girl. He had to have been dating around. It was presumptuous to even think we were anything more than partners in a crazed professor’s experiment. And yet, I was still angry. Irrationally angry at Danny for not picking up on the hints, maybe angry at the professor for dragging me into this mess in the first place. But most of all, I was angry at myself. 

I felt the buzz of a text, ears still heated. Danny again. “You ok?”  

I sighed as reasoning took over and anger transformed into sadness. I wrote a quick note in the log book, then pulled my phone up before texting back. “Yeah”.

“Lol Claudia says hi”, came a text back. I gritted my teeth, not wanting to impart any jealousy in my response, but I was soon stopped by another text. 

“If you wanted to meet my sister, you should have just asked lol”.

=============

“Log book 290

I’m stupid. I’m sorry. I’m stupid. I’m sorry.”

I’m so sorry. I said to Danny in my head, as I slumped in my chair. You’re so fucking stupid. I told myself. These past few months swapping back and forth with Danny had been a dream. 

From something as simple swapping before brushing his teeth to even taking a class as him. I savored every single moment. 

But as the experiment had been drawing to a close, and as I felt my time nearing and my guilt intensifying, other, less kind thoughts bubbled in my head. 

What if I did ‘that’ in his body. What if I did it while thinking of my own body. I gulped. Danny didn’t know, and from what I could tell, he hadn’t suspected a thing. “Maybe I could make him like me.” Even just saying it out loud felt like a taboo. I could just imagine Danny’s disapproving face as I pondered corrupting our newfound friendship, and corrupting him at his core.

The devil on my shoulder continued. We’ve been swapping all this time. And he doesn’t notice. My dick stirred. He wouldn’t notice and you could train his body to fall in love with you.

No. No. I couldn’t do that to Danny. I eyed the near approaching date on the calendar- the date the experiment would end- and I gulped again. I pulled up a photo of him.

Darkness gripped at my chest, as I pondered my next step. And then I squeezed.

“Danny, I love you and I’m sorry.”

Zzzip

My heart, or rather Danny’s, began to beat faster and faster. I pulled up a fairly difficult puzzle before I swapped, so I knew I had some time with his flesh before he’d try to swap back.

I gingerly pulled down his shorts, staring at his bulge hungrily. Then I slowly teased out his dick, moaning at the feeling of flesh touching flesh. Being in his body, having this level of access to Danny. I was hard instantly.

It felt almost macabre, seeing his flesh move to my every whim, forced to feel my feelings. I wanted to etch myself into him as much as possible, and with every pump I moaned my original body’s name. It took all of the restraint in Danny’s body, which, apparently was a lot, to not burst. But one can only hold out so long, hearing one’s crush moan their name in delirious ecstasy. I sang my name in his resonant voice one more time, before flashing instantly to my body and back to his.

Zzzip Zzzip

I released his sticky white seed in what felt like the first cum of my life. I suppose, in a sense, it was. I hoped that sealed it. Conditioning Danny to me. The swaps were imperceptibly fast, and I took the lack of delay in emotions as a sign of success.

Zzzip Zzzip

I released a breath in Danny’s body I didn’t know I was holding, basking in the afterglow before immediately realizing what I had just done. 

Guilt came out of me drop by drop. As his tears began to leave their marks on his shirt, I slowly began to clean up. The pleasure of the situation still clung to me, as I mournfully switched back. Then came another gut-wrenching wave of sadness. Danny, I’m so sorry. 

I looked to the incomplete puzzle in front of me, laughing a little at his lack of progress to ease the sadness.

Then came another text from Danny. “Dude, that puzzle’s impossible”. 

=============

“Log book 300:

Food definitely tastes different in a different body.”

“Look, just try them man” Danny said with a smile, holding a fry in his hand. And the necklace in another. 

Only a few short days left before the experiment’s end. I made no mention of that night, nor the professor’s words to Danny. 

Danny had, in fact, been coming by more often. Prompting more hangouts, initiating more switches. I was elated every time he asked. I even caught a few longer glances from his body, marinating in pleasure at seeing this new side of Danny. However happy I had been, underlying it all was the guilt of my deed.

Danny again held the fry out expectantly. I laughed slightly. “Haha, fine”.

Zzzip

I took a bite from his body. Yep, it was definitely a fry. My own body looked up at me, smiling a Danny-flavored smile before grabbing the half-bitten fry. “Now let’s control for this variable. Same fry,” he said, wiggling it in the air.

Zzzip

I stared at the fry covered in a bit of his saliva. Heaven. I looked back at him and nodded. As we parted ways, I couldn’t help my smile from peeking through. 

He was right, it did taste better on my end.

=============

“So, we’re not getting paid”? I asked Danny, as we sat in the table. He had a few wine glasses in front. 

It had been a full year since the experiment first started. Despite the general weirdness from the other groups swapping, everyone had been relatively well adjusted. Except for Chad, or whatever he’d be called now. A swapped Kat couldn’t help but spill the beans. Apparently, the professor had no obligation to offer the guy extra credit. He specifically targeted the quarterback for his experiment. What’s worse, he’d apparently created a newer version of the necklace. One that could overwrite and transmit. Chad’s frat brothers mentioned he was offered another credit for participating in a second experiment for this new necklace. After that, no one had seen either person. The pair had mysteriously disappeared, leaving the school scrambling to cover up everything. All most of us knew was one day we suddenly had perfect grades retroactively added for the past year, along with a very scary letter prompting a signature. 

“The university isn’t going to do anything about this.” He said. I was still skeptical as I slowly eyed one of the wine bottles that once graced former Dr. Cohn’s shelf. “It’s the least they could do for all those, ethics violations”. He pulled the cork with a satisfying pop, a mischievous gleam in his eye as he handed me a glass. “Now c’mon, try this”. 

I suppose alcohol had a way of loosening me up. “So…. we’re not getting paid”? I asked again, sarcastically this time. It had been a year, so talking to Danny felt easy. I thought back to my log book, fully intending on burning the thing. Danny shook his head.

“Hard to put a price on crimes against humanity. Or, something like that” he laughed. “The university just said to dump everything and basically forget that experiment ever happened.”

I couldn’t help but laugh as well. I shrugged, knowing money or even perfect grades for a year held no candle to the experience of a lifetime I just had with Danny. I was afraid of the answer, but it had to be asked. “What should we do with these things?” I asked, looking at the necklace still gracing his beautiful neck. His eyebrows raised as he saw the same necklace gracing mine. 

“I mean, by now, you’re pretty used to it, right?” He asked with an almost pleading look in his eye. There was something bugging him. I watched as he fiddled with his feet. “Maybe…” His ears turned bright red. It was riveting finally seeing this side oh him. More than that, it was downright cute. “M-Maybe” he stammered again. Danny took a deep breath to calm himself, though his scarlet face told all. “Maybe we can keep. Um. Swapping. Sometimes, sometimes I like being you, and sometimes I kind of like when you’re me.” He looked at me and smiled weakly, trying to change the subject. “A-Anyway, you need a place to stay next year, r-right? It kind of feels like we’ve already been roommates these past 12 months, what’s another 12?” His sweet words did nothing the dampen the guilt I felt in my betrayal. In any other circumstance, I’d have died happy just hearing that confession from him. Instead I could only think back to the professors words. I did live, at least partially, in Danny throughout this past year. It felt like a betrayal of myself to not come clean.

“Danny, listen. I think I need to tell you first, in your body…” My breath hastened, and I felt my stomach churn. How do you tell a guy what you’ve done with his body- *in* his body? Danny’s face frowned in concern as my bubbling emotions seemed to knock him out of his quick spell of shyness.

He smiled a little. “Look man, whatever you’ve done in my body, I’ve probably done too.” His smile widened. “Your body is mine, my body is yours. Call it even”. More words that would have swept me off my feet, had I not been confessing. More torture ensued.

“I went to the professor about it a few months ago and never told you” I continued. I was practically holding back tears. “Our necklaces were bugged, I think”.

“The professor said…” I gulped. “It was possible that when we switch, our minds don’t come through all at once.” Now tears did begin to swell. “You know how it’s supposed to take a second for your emotions to catch up. Well, when we switch, I still feel the same emotions…”. I gulped. “Since day 1, I think I’ve overwritten your, um, preferences”. Danny’s poker face felt like a dagger in my heart. It’s a face I often made in his body when I was in deep thought, so I knew he had to have been processing to the same conclusion. I could practically see the gear turning in his head. Click.

Face still an enigma, Danny waited a moment and then asked a simple question. “When did you tell the professor?” Click. 

I sniffled as I laid it bare in front of him. “5 months ago. Danny, I’m sorry! I dunno, I just thought maybe… maybe if we kept switching, if our minds kept being in each other’s bodies. Maybe if a little piece of how I felt kept lagging behind, you might have-“ Now the gear was fully spinning and I saw the realization hit his face. I had no idea what he was going to do. Punch me? Maybe. Run away in disgust? Likely. Instead, Daniel had done something equally surprising. His hand rested on my shoulder in a reassuring fashion. Then that same hand motioned me forward.

My memory of the next moment felt like a million moments in one. It was something so outside my realm of possibilities, my brain simply couldn’t process. The whiplash hit my senses all at once. Sweet but a bit salty. A moment of quietness before the background sounds of the campus slowly drizzled back in. The scent of fresh laundry and damp earth. My eyes took even longer to adjust from black to red to an image slowly refocussing. Last was my brain, which had been stunned into silence. I sat back in shock, repeating the same phrase over and over in my head. Danny just kissed me.

He laughed, eyes twinkling and mouth pulled into a smile, beaming in the way that always made my heart swoon. “That theory’s bogus. Trust me. I haven’t felt any different”. He smiled again, sheepishly this time, before fishing something from his backpack’s large pocket. He looked at the item in front of him, hand slightly shaking in hesitation before making his decision. Slowly, he held up his own log book, flipped to the very first page:

“Log Book 1:

<3 ”

=============

[catmiemy]

Another Chance to Live Part 4 (Ana Maria Crnogorčević x Reader)

Summary: Ana and you finally start dating.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

A/N: Look at me sticking to my upload schedule. Although I might be able to publish the final two parts earlier since I had more time to write because I had to cancel some plans thanks to conjunctivitis.

I hope you enjoy these two finally getting together. As always, happy to hear what you think :)

After your conversation with Jenni you continued to sit on the couch, staring at your phone as if the device would be any help in figuring out how to ask Ana out.

As it turned out, it actually did. While you were still contemplating, weighing the pros and cons of every option, your phone buzzed with an incoming message. Your heart skipped a bit when you saw it was from Ana, just like it always did. And your heart definitely skipped more than one beat once you read the message.

You read the words over and over again, finding it impossible to believe this was actually happening. For so long you had told yourself there would never be anything more than friendship between you and Ana, and now all of the sudden your whole world had been turned upside down in the best way possible.

A little birdie just told me about the conversation you had.

Hope you don’t mind she told me.

Jenni said you didn’t tell her not to tell me, so she thought it was fair game.

Anyway, what do you say about changing our hangout tomorrow to an official date?

You know as a date, as more than friends.

Ana’s reply was almost instant.

Of course I don’t mind, it makes my life a lot easier!

I really owe that birdie, but don’t tell her that.

And yes, I’d love to do that!

You quickly texted back that you were excited about it as well, before putting away your phone grinning like a fool.  You felt like you were floating on a cloud of happiness, something that you hadn’t experience in a long, long time, maybe never to this degree.  

Great, I’ll pick you up at 7 tomorrow.

Already looking forward to it.

---

The next day you got more and more nervous the closer the time for Ana to pick you up came. However, whenever the anxiety threatened to become overwhelming, you just thought about the Swiss woman; how happy you always were in her presence and how at ease she made you feel, as if you were perfect just the way you were. Every time you did that you immediately felt much calmer; less anxious nervous and much more joyful excited. 

 Still, it took you forever to pick out an outfit, mentally thanking Ana that she had texted you earlier in the day to at least let you know what style of clothes you should be wearing, elegant but not overly fancy. In the end you settled on a black dress because you could never go wrong with that, and it did show off your body in the best way possible.

Even with all the internal debating about your outfit you ended up being ready almost 30 minutes before the pickup time, because you had started so early. Therefore you settled down on the couch, trying and failing to distract yourself with your phone.

Only a few minutes passed before there was a knock on the door. With a frown you went to open it, hoping it wasn’t your parents with some sort of request to help them out. You definitely didn’t have time to do that right now.

However, when you opened the door and laid eyes on Ana your frowned turned into a big smile. You were always happy to see her, but tonight even more so. Finally you got to be with her in the way you wanted, no more pretending to be just friends.

“Hi,” you greeted her, too distracted by the blonde’s mere presence to wonder why she was here so early.

“Hi,” Ana echoed, stepping forward to hug you. You melted into the embrace and turned your face inwards against her neck, relishing in the fact that you didn’t have to suppress gestures like this any longer.

“Ready to go?” The Swiss woman asked you after a bit.

You nodded, grabbing the bag you had conveniently placed next to the door. When you turned back towards Ana, she reached out offering you her hand. You instantly laced your fingers through hers, the small contact filling you with warmth and an overwhelming sense of belonging right there in this moment.

When you were getting into the car you heard the church bells ring and suddenly realized how early the Swiss woman had been. It wasn’t like she was known for being unpunctual, but also she wasn’t usually this early.

“How come you were here this early? Did I have the time wrong?”

That seemed like the most logical explanation, even though you had checked the time in Ana’s text about at dozen times.

“Well, I knew you’d be ready early and I didn’t want to make you wait unnecessarily and maybe get anxious.”

Your heart melted at this. It was so thoughtful of Ana and it showed how well she already knew you. This fact put you even more at ease. There was no need to pretend or try to show yourself in the most favorable light, this woman already knew you and somehow she still liked you.

“Plus I was excited to go out with my friend,” the blonde continued.

For a second your stomach dropped at the last word, but when you looked over and saw the humor in Ana’s eyes you recognized that she was just teasing you.

“I guess I deserve that,” you conceded, “And for the record I never wanted you to be just my friend.”

You were a little surprised by your own boldness. However, Ana made you feel like it was not only okay to say what you were thinking, but that it was in fact exactly what the Swiss woman wanted.

“That’s good to know,” Ana stated, sounding much more serious all of the sudden as if she still hadn’t been totally sure about your feelings.

Suddenly you felt a little silly for not taking into account that other people got insecure as well. You had been so focused on yourself, that you had never considered how it must have been for the Swiss woman to constantly hear you emphasize that you were merely friends.

“I’m sorry about that, I just didn’t think there was any possibility you’d ever like me too,” you apologized.

Ana looked over at you sadly. “I know, but we’ll work on that,” she promised.

“On what?”

“On the way you see yourself! Don’t think I missed how you didn’t believe me when I told you that everyone I know on the Spanish national team likes you and is always looking forward to seeing you,” the blonde elaborated.

You didn’t quite know how to react to such blatant flattery. Most likely this was just Ana being sweet, but you couldn’t lie, it was still nice to hear.

“See, you’re doing it again. You don’t believe me,“  the blonde accused you softly.  

You whipped your head around to look at Ana, shocked that she could read you so easily. Up until now you had always prided yourself on having a good poker face, but apparently the Swiss woman saw right through it.

She didn’t say anything else though, merely smiling at you gently. The silence gave you the time you needed to gather your thoughts. Once again you found yourself being surprisingly honest.

“It’s just because I’m nothing special, I’m just me. I’m too quiet and not very interesting. It’s not like I think everyone hates more or anything. But why would anyone particularly like me?”

In your opinion you had made a good point, but Ana’s eyes were filled with disapproval and sadness on your behalf.

“Because you’re a great person! You always have an open ear for everyone. If there’s anything you can do to help someone, you do it without hesitation. You have such a good heart and you’re so mindful of everyone around you, doing your best to make everyone feel seen and heard.”

“Sure you don’t talk everyone’s ears off as soon as you meet them, but once you’re more comfortable? You tell great stories that always make me feel as if I’m right there with you and I love hearing what you think about things because I can tell that you took your time to form opinions. And to see you speak passionately about the things you care, that’s just something else!”

“Also, I love how much you appreciate the beauty around you. Going somewhere with you is such a treat because you will always point out the pretty flowers, the interesting cloud constellation or the cute dog you see with so much joy and reverence.”

“And let’s not forget that you’re gorgeous. You have the most beautiful and kindest eyes I have ever seen and don’t even get me started about your smile!”

You were overwhelmed by how easily, without even thinking about it first, the Swiss woman managed to list all of these nice qualities. It made you more inclined to believe her. At the very least Ana had you convinced that she meant every word she had said, and that in itself was a good feeling, even if you weren’t convinced all of this was actually, objectively true.

“I could keep talking all night long about all the reasons why I like you so much, but I guess you wouldn’t really appreciate that. So instead I’ll keep bringing it up for as long as you’ll let me be a part of your life, which I’m hoping will be a very long time,” Ana concluded.

“That’s probably a good idea, otherwise you’ll spend the rest of the evening with a tomato head,” you joked.

You had always hated how easily you turned red, your frustration usually only making it worse.

“I wouldn’t complain about that for a second, I find your blushing adorable,” Ana commented, which of course only made you blush even more, but for once you didn’t mind as much.

You arrived at your destination soon after, and you immediately recognized the place from pictures you had seen of Lola and her girlfriend. So the mystery of how the blonde had chosen where to take you was solved. You had never actually been to the restaurant yourself since it was very romantic and mostly frequented by couples, but you had heard good things about it.

By the end of the evening you could definitely confirm that all the praise you had been told about the restaurant was justified. Although in all honesty every place would have felt like heaven to you when it was the location of your first date with Ana.

The conversation stayed mostly light and happy for the first half and hour, both of you enjoying each other’s company and this new and exciting situation. In a lot of ways it wasn’t all that different, you talked as easily as before, the conversation flowing effortlessly. So once again you realized that you had gotten into your heard for nothing. Things weren’t awkward or weird at all, like you had been concerned about.

Sure, there were some differences, all of them positive though; the way you kept slipping from normal conversation into light flirting, how you just gazed deep into each other eyes a few of times, and the way Ana placed her hand onto yours and left it there as long as she possibly could, sighing when she had to retract it because you both needed your hands to eat.

“So do you want to talk about the national team?” You asked, once the last of your nervousness had settled.

Ana shrugged her shoulders unsurely, smile dropping from her face. You had to fight the urge to take it back and apologize for probing; reminding yourself about the conversation you had had after the game against Barcelona. It was okay to ask, and if the Swiss woman actually didn’t want to talk about it, she would tell you. Still, this went entirely against your instinct.

“It’s just such a frustrating situation. Inka is a horrible coach! At least for us, maybe it’s just not a good fit, I don’t know, but for us it doesn’t work. We’re playing badly and the atmosphere at camp isn’t how it used to be. Don’t get me wrong, it’s nothing like what I heard about Spain, but everyone was kind of in a state of constant annoyance and was so happy when we could leave.”

“And the worst thing is that the home Euros is coming closer everyday and I wanted that to be the crowning moment of my career. Maybe that’s selfish, I don’t know, but now? Now I think it’s going to be nightmare, if I even get to go at all,” Ana finished her rant that had began passionate and angry, but fizzled out into something more like helplessness. 

Exactly like after the game against Barcelona the Swiss woman looked drained, her shoulders slumped and her smile no longer reaching her eyes. It made you simultaneously want to give her the longest hug in the world and go and punch Inka in the face.

However, since you were still sitting in the restaurant you settled on reaching over and giving her hand a good squeeze, before doing your best to come up with a good response.

“I’m so sorry things are like that and I’m always here to listen if you need to rant about it or hold you if you need to cry. Trying to keep in your emotions isn’t healthy.”

That was probably one of the most hypocritical things you had ever said, you who always held your emotions in until you felt like imploding. However, theoretically you knew that wasn’t a helpful thing to do, so you weren’t going to advise someone else to do that.

“And I can help you figure out if there’s anything you and the girls can do. I did a lot of reading and looking things up when everything was going down with Spain. Of course it’s a totally different system, but I’m still happy to help out,” you offered.

A soft smile, a real smile, one that made Ana’s eyes shine, returned to the blonde’s face.

“I appreciate how much you care. That means more than I can ever express with words. To be honest we’ve already started looking into what our options are and have been talking with the Swiss federation. So maybe it’s not quite as hopeless as it feels right now. The next few weeks should give us an answer to that,” Ana told you.

You felt some relief at that. Surely there was no way the Swiss federation would be as difficult and idiotic as the Spanish one. Right? Therefore things would hopefully be sorted out before too long and Ana would get the home Euros she deserved.

“That’s good. I’m confident things will turn out okay,” you said with more confidence than you actually felt. But Ana didn’t need to know that. If you were wrong in the end you would deal with it then, right now the best thing you could do was strengthen her hope.

“Yeah?” The Swiss woman double-checked, confirming to you that this was actually the right thing to do.

“Definitely,” you assured her, praying to a god you didn’t believe in that you wouldn’t be proven wrong.

“I think so too,” Ana admitted quietly, as if she was scared to say it too loudly out of fear of jinxing it.

“Now let’s talk about other things. I don’t want Inka to ruin the mood on my date as well, she has done enough of that during camp. How about we focus on your national camp instead? I heard you almost made Jenni rip out her own hair with your cluelessness,” the Swiss woman teased with a big grin.

Your first instinct was to tell Ana that it was totally fine to keep talking about the situation with her national team, that it wouldn’t ruin anything. But then she mentioned Jenni and all the teasing you had endured, and all of the sudden you wanted to beg her to continue talking about the Swiss team. Anything to avoid speaking about how oblivious you had been.

“Come on, let’s be honest Jenni would never rip out her precious hair or do anything else to ruin her looks,” you deflected, basking in the sound of Ana’s laughter. You would never get tired of making the blonde laugh.

You kept up the banter for a bit, before you remembered a specific thing you had been fretting about for the last 24 hours. It probably wasn’t something you should bring up on the first date, or maybe it was exactly the kind of thing you had to mention on the first date. You still hadn’t made up your mind about that.

All you knew was that in that moment, feeling happy and secure in Ana’s presence, you wanted to talk about it. And maybe it was time to do what you wanted more often and worry less about whether it was the ‘normal’ thing to do. What was normal anyway?

“There’s something I need to tell you”, you blurted out, kicking yourself for making it sound so ominous. No one ever said ‘I need to tell you something’ about unimportant stuff.

“Of course, I’m all ears,” Ana replied, smiling at you encouragingly.

“Okay, so…” You swallowed, trying to gather yourself. „I’ve never been in a serious relationship before. I mean I’ve dated and had flings and such, but never a serious long term relationship. And I don’t know it that’s a problem for you. I would totally understand if it was. And maybe I shouldn’t even have brought it up tonight, so I’m sorry if I’m making this awkward. Although if it is a problem then it was probably good I told you today. I…”

“Schatz,” Ana interrupted you. You didn’t really know any German, let alone Swiss German, but you were fairly certain you remembered this one. The use of a sweet pet name relaxed you significantly; she wouldn’t do that if this was in fact a deal breaker.

“I don’t care about that in the slightest. I’ve never been in a relationship with you either, so that will be brand new for me too. We’ll figure it out together,” the Swiss woman promised.

“Together,” you echoed. You loved the sound of that.

---

As time passed and more dates followed it became clear that Ana had been right. Things between the two of you just progressed naturally and not once did you feel out of your depth because of your lack of experience with relationships.

You shared a magical first kiss on a walk through the city after your second date. Ana’s lips felt pleasantly warm on yours in the chilly night air. After that all dams were broken and you spent a lot of time kissing like two hormonal teenagers, slowly or more precisely pretty rapidly moving on to other activities.

After the first time you slept together, the two of you lay in Ana’s bed facing each other. The Swiss woman gently traced her thumb over your forehead and your cheek, looking at you lovingly. Although you did your best to avoid using this word for anything to do with Ana just yet. It was too early to even think about love.

“Are you okay? Was this okay?” The blonde whispered, her eyes serious and for some reason slightly worried.

You stared at her in surprise. Could she not see how happy and satisfied you were, how cherished and lo- adored you felt?

“This was perfect and I feel amazing. You know I had sex before, right?”

Suddenly you weren’t sure if you had been clear about that. Maybe you had given Ana the impression that you weren’t just a relationship virgin, but an all around virgin.

“Yeah, yeah, I know, but still this is a big step and I just wanted to check in. It’s different when feelings are involved,” Ana elaborated.

For a moment you just grinned at her like an idiot. If you thought you had been feeling lo-, adored before, it was nothing to how you felt now.

“You’re just the absolute sweetest, tesoro. And you’re totally right, it is different. So much better! I can’t wait to go again, but right now I need some sleep. Someone wore me out.“

You looked at her pointedly, but that quickly changed into a smile when you saw how proud of herself Ana looked.

“In that case, sleep, mi Schatz. Because I definitely need you to be ready for another round soon,” Ana said, pulling you against her and kissing your forehead.

It took you all of five seconds before you fell into a peaceful slumber, your face buried in Ana’s neck.

---

However, you were right too, about everything sorting itself out with the Swiss national team. You were eating lunch at Real’s training ground when you heard, willing the time to move faster because tonight you would finally see Ana again. The two of you hadn’t been able to meet up the last few days because of insanely busy and conflicting schedules.

So when your phone buzzed with a message from Ana your heart fluttered happily. Hearing from her was always the highlight of your day. Things at Real were still less than ideal. You didn’t feel connected to the team, most of them still seeing you as ‘that Altético player’.

You were well aware that you were to blame for that as much as anyone, maybe even more so. Your efforts to integrate into the team had been minimal to say the least. And you felt a fair bit of anger at yourself for being so unprofessional, but somehow that still wasn’t enough to change anything. You just didn’t want to be there. It was as simple as that. And you could pretend, but you couldn’t change your actual feeling.

Day after day you forced yourself to be perfectly punctual, train hard, listen to the game plans and analyses, but there was no joy to any of it. Not even when you played games, something that you had always loved before. You were simply going through the motions.

At least you were having a pretty good season; otherwise your disappointment with yourself would have been through the roof.

When you checked your phone you saw that it was a screenshot announcing Inka’s departure from the Swiss national team. A happy squeal escaped you, everyone turning to look at you. It wasn’t like you to be loud, especially not in a cheerful way.

“What is it?” Misa asked curiously.

You simply showed her your phone, a smile appearing on the goalkeeper’s face.

“This is great news,” she agreed.

“Amazing news,” you corrected.

Now you were even more excited to see Ana later that night and celebrate this special occasion.

You were happy that you had decided to meet up at your place; this gave you the opportunity to prepare something special. However, you didn’t have much time, so you found yourself standing in the store after training looking around frantically and blanking on what to do.

The first idea that came to mind was to get a cake with a message like ‘She’s gone!’ on it. But you seriously doubted that you would get one on such short notice. Also a whole cake for just the two of you didn’t sound like a good plan.

So maybe just a card? What kind of card though? You had some strong suspicions that there wasn’t anything like an ‘I’m so happy you got rid of your stupid national coach’-card. 

You could practically feel the seconds ticking by, getting more and more anxious by the minute. Time was running out and you still didn’t have the slightest idea what to do.

Noticing how tense you had become you forced yourself to exhale slowly and relax your body, starting with your jaw and slowly progressing downwards. There was no reason to get so stressed about this. Ana wouldn’t expect any grand gestures; you wouldn’t disappoint here no matter what you did or didn’t do.

As you calmed down the fog in your brain lifted and you regained the ability to make decisions. After having a swift look around you settled on buying the ingredients for Ana’s favorite meal, as well as two caramel cupcakes. As a last minute decision you added two candles to put on the cupcakes, one an I and one a G. This way you could literally get the satisfaction of seeing Inka Gring’s legacy go up in smoke.

Later that evening Ana arrived at your apartment with a bright smile on her face and some extra pep in her steps. She immediately pulled you into a tight hug, rocking the both of you excitedly from side to side.

“I’m so happy for you,” you told her, leaning back slightly to beam at her, before getting closer again and peppering her face with light kisses. 

This made Ana giggle. “And you know what makes me happy?” She gasped.

You stopped your kisses and tilted your head, unsure of where the Swiss woman was going this. It didn’t seem like the kind of question she would ask if the answer was the obvious one; Inka leaving.  

“That you are so happy for me. It means the world  to me that you care so deeply, about both the good and the bad things happening in my life,” Ana clarified.

A blush cropped up on your face and you moved to hide your face in Ana’s neck, but the Swiss woman gently stopped you

“Don’t. You know I love your blush,” she murmured, placing her hands on your slightly pink cheeks and taking in every inch of your face. “So beautiful.”

Of course that only made you blush more. Ana winked at you, but didn’t stop you when you once again stepped forward to bury your face in her shoulder.

The two of you spent a nice evening together; spirits were high all around thanks to the good news. Ana showered you in compliments for your cooking and when you brought out the cupcakes she burst into laughter.

“I love this! Like a cleansing from Inka,” she said in between laughing.

“Shhh, this is a serious matter,” you chastised her playfully.

“Oh sorry,” the blonde replied, forcing a solemn expression onto her face.

However, it only lasted for all of five seconds before the huge smile that had been on her face all night long returned. You wouldn’t be complaining about that though. A happy Ana made you happy.

“To the end of the unfortunate Inka-area and to a better future for your national team,” you announced, lighting the two candles on fire. “Make a wish!”

Ana leaned forward and blew out the candles with closed eyes. Then she turned to you. “Do you want to know what I wished for?”

You shook your head firmly. “No! Otherwise it won’t come true.”

Ana smirked. “Too bad because it involves you.”

“Wait really? Then I change my mind and want to know,” you backtracked, mentally running through everything she could have wished for.

“Nope, too late,” the Swiss woman informed you.

“Meeeeeaaaaan,” you complained.

Ana just grinned at you, shrugged her shoulders and took a big bite of her cupcake.

When you continued to pout at her, she offered you a compromise, “Fine, I’ll tell you when it comes true, okay? And now enough with the puppy dog eyes. Otherwise I might crack and tell you right now and then we’ll both be at fault when it doesn’t come true.”

“Sounds good to me,” you agreed, biting into your own cupcake with gusto.

And honestly just knowing that Ana had made a wish that included you warmed you heart. It was nice to be such a big part of someone else’s life, someone other than your parents that was. But you wouldn’t think about them right now, nothing was allowed to taint this moment.

Instead of dwelling on your thoughts you looked up at Ana happily chewing the last bite of her cupcake.

“I love you,” you blurted out without thinking about it.

Once the words had left your mouth you instantly regretted them. Not that they weren’t true, they absolutely were, but you hadn’t said them to each other yet. So what if Ana didn’t feel the same and you just ruined this perfect moment? Or even worse, everything!

At least Ana was still smiling at you, that was probably a good sign. If she was going to leave right then and there she wouldn’t smile. Right?

“I love you too,” the Swiss woman simply said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.  

“Really?” You couldn’t help but ask.

Ana got up and came over to your side of the table. She grabbed your hands, softly pulling you up so you were on eye level.

“Of course I love you. How could I not? I guess we still have some work to do until you see yourself the way I see you, as such an amazing, good-hearted, beautiful person,” she told you earnestly.

“I really love you.” It was the only thing that came to mind, Ana’s compliments once again overwhelming you.

“That’s good because I really love you too,” the blonde replied with a chuckle, gathering you into her arms. “And I won’t rest until you love yourself too , exactly the way that you deserve.”

You just snuggled even closer into Ana, a deep calmness filling you up from head to toe. It wasn’t something you were used to, usually there was always some anxiety running in the background. However, the blonde brought you so much peace.

It was something you had never expected before you experienced it yourself. You had always thought love would be all excited butterflies and exuberance. There was some of that of course, but also this all-encompassing calmness, that was in many ways even better than all of the excitement.

[mountttmase]

Five Minutes

Note - thought I’d upload a little blurb of something I was thinking about yesterday and also to let you know I’m still alive 😂 feedback would be very much appreciated as usual 🩷

Pairing - Mason Mount × Reader

Word count - 1.1K

Warnings - fluff

‘Just in there you two, we’ll get everyone out and we can start on the pictures’ Alison told you, pointing to a room off to the side ‘you two okay? You did amazing’

‘Thank you so much Alison it was perfect’ you gushed. Squeezing her hand as she led you into the small room next to the one you’d just come from.

The one you’d just got married in.

Alison wasn't just a wedding planner, she’d been your rock throughout this whole experience and as soon as you saw her smiling face as the pair of you walked back down the aisle as husband and wife you couldn’t help but pull her into a big hug. ‘Don’t even mention it’ she winked, grabbing the door handle so she could shut it on the way out and you couldn’t wipe the smile off your face. ‘I’ll be five minutes okay? And congratulations’

As soon as the door shut, your eyes flickered over to Mason. Standing an arms length away from you and you took the time to really look at him properly for the first time all day. Your nerves not letting you appreciate him fully when you were saying your vows as you didn’t want to mess up but now the hard part was over you just wanted to look at your man.

His hair was freshly trimmed and just how you liked it. Short on the sides but fluffy on top and pushed back into his signature quiff. His beard long and nicely shaped on the sides and the suit he’d chosen was hugging him perfectly. But it was his bright smile that really caught your eye and you couldn’t help but reciprocate it as he held a hand out to you.

‘C’mere’ he murmured, pulling you into his chest so he could hold you to him and you melted into his embrace as you felt his chest rumble underneath you. ‘I can’t believe we actually did it’

‘I know’ you laughed, pulling back to look at him before kissing him softly. ‘I can’t believe it’s over’

‘Nah we’ve got the rest of the day to go yet, need to show off my beautiful wife to everyone’ he teased, and you giggled at his words. ‘I can’t believe I’ve got a wife’

‘I can’t believe I’ve got a husband. I feel like we sound super old now’ you told him, watching his eyes crinkle as he looked at you lovingly.

‘We’re just getting started’ he winked, pulling back so he could look you up and down and you felt your cheeks flush under his loving stare. ‘You look so so beautiful baby. Honestly, the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. And I’m not just saying that because I have to now’ he joked, causing you to roll your eyes as he pulled you back to him but the butterflies were still swarming making you feel a little shy. Mason looked so handsome and the bright smile on his face only made you fall for him even more but you let him wrap his arms around your waist and you rested yours on his chest. ‘I’m serious, you look like a princess’’

‘Do you like my dress?’ You asked, watching his smile grow wider as he nodded shyly before kissing you cheek and making you feel even more giddy.

‘It’s perfect. You're perfect’ he whispered, eyes filling with tears just as they had when he’d first caught sight of you in it earlier and you could tell he was clearly a little overwhelmed by everything that had just happened so you reached up to cup his cheeks in order to calm him a little. Resting your foreheads on each others for comfort as he took a relaxing breath out.

‘We’re you nervous? You know, standing and waiting for me?’

‘Bricking it’ he laughed, rubbing his nose against yours gently. ‘I still am a little bit I think. There’s so much more to do today and I know I've still got Dec’s speech to go. But I knew as soon as I saw you walking up that aisle to me that everything would be okay’ he told you. Kissing your cheek softly as you smiled even wider. ‘It’s never happened to me before but it’s like time stopped and there was only me and you in there’

‘I was the same. I was shaking so much as we were walking down here before but as soon as I saw you I felt so calm. Like I knew everything would be okay’

‘God I love you so much’ he laughed, finally placing another kiss on your lips but the pair of you didn’t take it any further than that as you knew Alison could be back any second.

‘I love you too’ you told him quietly.

‘I know I’m gonna annoy you cause I’ll keep saying this all day, but I really can’t get over the fact I’ve got a wife now’

‘It is a little crazy’ you laughed. ‘And I can’t believe she’s me of all people’

‘No, it was always gonna be you’ he told you sincerely, feeling your bottom lip wobble at his words. You were so hopelessly in love with this boy and you seemed to be falling harder for him with every second. ‘I missed you last night too. Took me ages to get to sleep’

‘Well we can have an early night tonight’

‘Oh bog off, I’ve got plans for us’ he winked and you knew exactly what he meant by that. All Mason seemed to talk about lately was the wedding night and how good he was going to make you feel making your tummy fizzed with excitement wondering what might be in store for you later.

‘You know this is probably the only time we’ll get alone until then’ you told him, watching him nod solemnly but you knew he was excited to get back out there and see all his friends and family.

‘Better make sure we make it count then huh?’ He teased. Pulling you into his chest a bit more as you wrapped your arms around his neck again as he slowly swayed you from side to side. The both of you silent as you tried to soak in the moment and calm each other down but it was interrupted but a knock on the door and Alison appearing again.

‘You two ready to go?’ She asked, feeling Mason pull away from you so he could take your hand. Looking at you lovingly and with one final nod to each other you faced her.

‘Ready’

[dem-obscure-imagines]

The Way it Was Before

Bernard the Elf x Reader

Fandom: The Santa Clause

Summary: Something is VERY wrong this Christmas, and it seems you’re the only person in the world who remembers the way things were before. Well, almost the only person. It’s up to you and the Head Elf to save the day before Jack’s wish becomes irreversible.

Note: I was literally possessed by the spirit of Christmas to write this. I still don’t understand how I whipped this up so fast. Also I have a few ideas kicking around for a sequel, so let me know if that’s something you’re interested in! Additionally, I will be uploading this to Ao3, so if you see it on there too, don't worry hahaha

Warnings: Language, a lil violence as a treat (nothing major just literally a few punches lol), a lil angst but a very happy ending <3

Word Count: 14k

Reader is: Female, 23

Well, that was it, then. It was over. You couldn’t help but feel a little torn up about it. You just weren’t cut out for the job, or maybe you didn’t have the magic for it. Whatever the reason, Mother Nature had made it clear. You were not the Spring Enchantress, and this would be your last foray into the Magical Realm for a very long time, if you ever set foot in it again.

Mother Nature had to visit Santa at the North Pole. You weren’t sure why, she didn’t tell you what she was there to pick up, but she did give you some time on your own to explore the Workshop for the last time.

Wanting to get away from the wandering eyes, you found a secluded nook and sat down, resting your head in your hands. You loved the Pole. It was so intricate and beautiful and whimsical and you would never see it again. You’d never step foot in Mother Nature’s Grotto or the Summer Isles, or even Halloweentown.

It hit you all at once and the tears came flowing before you could stop them. You just hoped none of the elves were around to find you. You didn’t want to worry them when they were already so busy.

“(Y/N), right?” a voice asked, drawing your attention to the doorway where he was standing. Bernard, the Head Elf. Your eyes wandered over his shoulder to the sign on the door. Of course, your crying spot had to be directly outside his office. Figured.

“Right. Yeah. Sorry.” You wiped at the tears, trying to compose yourself. You motioned to the door. “I didn’t realize…”

He shook his head. “That’s alright. Is something wrong?”

“I didn’t mean to bother you. I’m sorry, I can—”

“No, you’re no bother at all. Come on in. My couch is a lot comfier than that bench there.” He motioned you forward and you hesitated, but got up and walked into his office, a large, cozy room with forest green walls, hardwood floors, a small fireplace, a cozy couch, and a desk facing it. There was a shelf of snow globes on one wall, a shelf of old leather books on another.

Bernard motioned to the couch and you took a seat while he perched himself on the edge of his desk. He plucked a tissue out of the box and handed it to you, empathy etched in his brown eyes.

“What’s going on?”

“It um…Mother Nature…” You spoke slowly, composing your words. “She said I’m not the Spring Enchantress like she thought. So um…I’m getting my memory wiped and heading back to the Mortal Realm. Tomorrow, I think.”

“Wiped? Like entirely?” Bernard said, horror in his voice.

“I mean, I’ll still know who I was before I started training under her, but…all of the magic stuff, all of this…” You shook your head. “I knew it was all too good to be true.”

“I am so sorry this is happening to you.” He shook his head. “It’s not fair.”

“Yeah…” You nodded, wiping your tears on the tissue he’d given you. “I’m just glad she brought me here one last time. It’s so beautiful here.”

Bernard smiled softly. He reached into his satchel and pulled out a small snow globe, waving a hand over it before handing it to you. “Even if you won’t remember this place…I’d like you to take a piece of it with you.”

You took a shaking breath, more tears flowing at his words, at the sincerity on his face, at the beautiful snow globe he’d given you. You stood to accept it and found yourself hugging him instead, seeking comfort from the most powerful elf in the Pole. His arms wrapped tight around you, comforting you at your most vulnerable.

“Thank you. So much. Even if I don’t remember it, I…I think I’ll still know. That it’s real. That all of this is.”

“Believing is Seeing.” Bernard said, meeting your eyes. “Someday, you’ll remember that.”

You hoped he was right…

THREE YEARS LATER

Leaving your Irish Folklore class, you were absolutely buzzing with ideas. It had been an amazing lesson. Your professor was very knowledgeable on all sorts of legends and fantasy creatures, where they’d come from, how stories about them had started. You, as a writer, were planning on using this knowledge to write an epic fantasy romance. You weren’t sure what exactly it would be about; you were still waiting for it to click, but you were sure it would eventually.

You walked to your favorite coffee shop, a little ways from your apartment, and grabbed a hot cocoa with extra whipped cream, your favorite around this time of year, sitting down with your work at your favorite table in the corner of the shop.

You took out your notebooks, comparing the notes you’d taken in class to the ones you had left over from…before. The inklings, few though they were, that had lingered in your mind, even after Mother Nature, yes, that Mother Nature, had supposedly wiped them all from existence. Granted, there wasn’t very much left from your time with her, just a few things: the Northern Lights dancing across the sky as you…as you…no, see, there it was. Nothing.

That was all that was left, pieces. And the snow globe on your shelf that you knew was more than just a snow globe, but you couldn’t remember why. Or who’d given it to you.

Sometimes you felt crazy, pushing against the walls of your memory, begging it for just one more detail, but that was how it had been for the last three years. You knew you weren’t making it up, that it was more than just fantasy, but you couldn’t tell anyone. Not even your therapist. The looks wouldn’t be worth it.

So you kept these things to yourself, jotting them down to get them out of your head. Or, rather, keeping them safe in case someday Mother Nature came to finish what she started, wiping it all away for good.

You worked on an outline for a short story for your creative writing class, but you didn’t feel all that confident in it. You sipped your cocoa some more, which had cooled to perfection, and opened an article you were supposed to read for your Folklore class. Something about elves. Festive, you thought with a chuckle. It was indeed the season for that, especially since that had been your last class before Christmas. A perfect send-off for the end of the semester.

Once you’d gotten a decent amount of work done, you packed up your stuff and headed back to your apartment, setting your bag in your room. You checked a few things off of your To Do List.

Gleaming on the shelf, your snow globe caught your eye. “Believing is Seeing.” You whispered to yourself, eyebrows knitting together when you did. It sounded familiar, but…you weren’t sure why. Or what it meant.

Down in the living room, your roommates were watching Christmas movies. In a few days, they’d both be headed home for the holidays and you’d be left on your own for a few weeks. You didn’t mind all that much. You did well on your own, in the quiet. You were kind of sad about spending the holidays alone, though.

Maybe you could find a community event to attend. A holiday party or something. Maybe your college would be doing something for the students who were staying. You hoped they’d let you attend even though you were a grad student.

On the TV, a cheesy Hallmark movie played out, the city girl deciding the small town she’d stumbled into was actually the perfect place for her and the handsome lumberjack that worked at the Christmas Tree Farm at the edge of town was actually her soulmate. You chuckled. You didn’t believe in soulmates. Not like that, at least.

“Hey, we’re going to a party tonight. Down at the Kappa House. You want to come?” Your roommate, Cindy, asked.

“Oh! Thank you. I’m alright, though. I’ll order some takeout or something.”

“Alright.” Megan, your other roommate, nodded. “How was your class?”

“Good! Yeah, I’ve just gotta finish this essay and then I’ll be good for the semester.”

“That’s good.” She grinned, sitting cross-legged on the couch.

You sat with the two of them until they got ready to leave, dressed in short red dresses, fishnets, and Santa hats. “Call me if you need a DD.”

“Oh we will.” They giggled, stumbling out the door, each armed with a bottle of cheap wine, leaving you on your own in the apartment. You did as you’d said and ordered some takeout, cranking out the rest of your paper and turning on some Christmas movies. Elf, Home Alone, all of the classics were on.

You felt something in the back of your mind, a little tingle. You froze, staring at the screen. You expected another little piece, a sliver, anything, but the feeling faded as quickly as it came. You sighed, setting your container of Lo Mein on the coffee table. Suddenly, you were tired. Maybe some sleep would help. So, after putting your things away and cleaning up after yourself, you changed into your pajamas and headed to bed.

You stared at the ceiling for a while, trying desperately to jog your memory for the little inkling that was about to emerge earlier, but to no avail. You shook your head and turned onto your side.

Believing is Seeing…

***

The next morning, you felt groggy and decidedly weird. You jotted down the dreams you remembered in your journal and went downstairs to get some breakfast to appease your growling stomach. You poured yourself a bowl of cereal with milk and plopped down in front of the TV, all but dropping it in your lap when you saw what was on the screen.

“Come on up to the North Pole, folks! Christmas Wonderland right at your fingertips! This year, we’re opening our Winter Wonderland Water Park, Hotel, and Resort! Pet the reindeer! Take a photo with an elf! And don’t forget to meet Santa!”

“What the Fuck.”

“Oh! See! I told you! We should go! They have a two for one on the Mistletoe Cruise!” Cindy grinned, hopping over the back of the couch. “Rewind it!”

You did as she said, pausing when the prices were on the screen. It just so happened to be when this so-called Santa was also on screen. Taking one look at him, you could tell something was wrong. His height, his voice, but most of all, his hair, which was frosted and spiked up. He may have been wearing the suit, but that was no Santa.

Chills ran up your arm at the sight of him. No, that was no Santa. That was Jack Frost.

It was coming back to you a little now.

“What…the North Pole…?” You murmured, confused.

“Obviously. What, did your parents never take you as a kid?” Megan asked. “We went all the time when I was growing up.”

“I can’t say they did, no…” You shook your head. No, this was bad. Something was very wrong here. Your stomach sank, veins on fire and chills unending.

You got changed at the speed of light and headed out to town, stopping in the book store next to your favorite coffee shop, where on the front rack was this new Santa’s memoir. It was titled, “Becoming Santa” and you doubted anything in it was anywhere near the truth.

You scooped up a copy of it as well as a book on the history of the Pole. There had to be something in there, some hint, some…someone you could contact. You checked out at the counter and headed next door to the coffee shop, spreading out your books and notes. You grabbed a cocoa with extra whipped cream and a shot of espresso. You knew you’d need the caffeine for whatever lied ahead.

You combed the books extensively, rolling your eyes every paragraph as you waded through Jack’s stuffy memoir. It was…impossible. You couldn’t believe this had all happened overnight. Unless there was magic involved. You cracked open the history of the Pole book, which had pictures, thankfully. You were able to look through and see if there was anyone you recognized. The longer you stared at the pictures, the more it confirmed your suspicions. You had been to the Pole before, but not in the capacity your roommates were discussing. It hadn’t been a theme park, a tacky tourist destination loaded to the brim with money-grabs. No, you had been there when it was a gorgeous, beautiful workshop, full of joy and love and…for lack of better word, Christmas cheer.

A single tear slipped down your cheek and you sat back in your chair, taking it all in. You remembered. Most of it, anyway. There were still bits and pieces that wouldn’t click into place just yet.

“This seat taken?” Someone asked.

You looked up, staring for a long moment as his features came into focus, his kind brown eyes, dark curls, a pointed ear sticking out from under his hat. He was the exact same as the last day you’d seen him, right down to the red tunic embroidered in golden symbols, the tassel necklace around his neck.

You gasped softly. “Bernard?”

Click.

His face split into a grin and a wave of relief swept over him as he all but collapsed into the seat across from you. “Thank the stars. I didn’t think you’d remember me.”

“How could I forget?” You asked, mostly to yourself. You had forgotten him. Well, until now. But it was all coming together. Something about seeing him made everything else, all those loose, scattered pieces, finally come together.

“So far, you’re the only one who remembers.”

“Remembers you?”

“No, remembers…the way things were yesterday.” He lowered his voice and you nodded, eyes wide.

“Okay cool, I’m not crazy. Always nice to know.” You sighed, closing the book and sliding it over to him. “I’ve been looking for…I don’t even know what, to be honest, but I knew it wasn’t right.”

“That’s…yeah.” He nodded, flipping through the book before closing it again.

“So what’s going on?”

“No idea. I was on my way out of the Pole when it hit, which is probably why I was spared. All of the elves…” He shook his head, arms crossed. “I don’t have any magic. I didn’t know where else to go.”

“Why me?” You asked softly, voice breaking at the edges. “How did you find me?”

“I’ve been keeping an eye on you since everything happened. I’m really sorry. What happened to you isn’t fair and I understand if you want to stay out of it, but I need your help. You’re the only person I have left.”

“I was on your team the second you sat down.” You told him, earning a tired smile. “So I did find…something. Um…Santa. Our Santa, I mean. When did he…?”

“He put on the coat in 1994.” Bernard replied with certainty.

“Okay that’s not good.” You opened Jack’s memoir to his origin story, in which he claimed to have become aware of his Santa Powers in the same year on the same night. “That never happened. Jack…he must have gone back in time and overwritten things.”

“How would he even have done something like that?” Bernard asked, taking the book from you and reading through the section you’d underlined.

“Father Time,” you mumbled. “Maybe he did something to Father Time.”

“Maybe.” Bernard nodded. “He’s in London. Big Ben. We can head there. But first, we need to find our Santa and pray that he remembers too. If not, our goose may already be cooked.”

***

Bernard ordered a drink for himself and the two of you left the shop, sticking a nice tip in the jar on the way out. You led Bernard to your apartment. Your roommates were still there, buzzing about their impending trip to the North Pole.

“I thought you guys were going home to see your families for the holidays.” You said, prying to see just how much they had changed in this new reality.

“Oh right, right, we were, but this deal is just too good to pass up, you know? My parents will understand. We’ll just celebrate…over spring break or something.”

“Yeah, yeah same. It’ll be fine, I’ll just mail them their presents.” Megan agreed, going right back to vacation planning with Cindy.

You gave Bernard a look that he returned before the two of you went up to your room. You pulled open your laptop and sat on the floor, Bernard looking around your room, eyes careful, admiring every detail until he found it, the snow globe he’d given you still sitting on the shelf.

He smiled softly, picking it up and giving it a shake before setting it back. “You still have it.”

“Of course I do. I’ve had it in all of my apartments. I don’t move anywhere without it.” You smiled and paused, thinking. “Did you…use your magic on it when you gave it to me? Maybe that’s what’s bringing my memory back.”

“No, I only used my magic to inscribe the plaque.” He explained, pointing to where the words were inscribed in curling cursive words, Believing is Seeing. “Something else is protecting your memory, even now.”

“Mother Nature?” You wondered quietly. Then again, if she wanted to protect your memories, why would she have wiped them in the first place? It didn’t make sense, so instead, you turned your attention to Google. “Alright, what’s Santa’s government name? As long as Jack didn’t kill him, we should be able to find him.”

“Scott. Scott Calvin.” Bernard replied, sitting on the carpet beside you, leg brushing against yours. “When we found him, he was living in Illinois. He might still be close to there now.”

“Scott Calvin…” You said quietly, typing his name in the search bar along with Illinois to attempt to narrow down the search results. It was common name, but hopefully not too common. You scrolled through hits from Facebook, showing Bernard the profile pictures to see if there was one he recognized. After all, you never saw Santa when he was still human, only as the Big Man himself.

“There! There, that’s him!” Bernard pointed to one of the Scotts. You clicked on his profile and started scrolling.

Marriage Status: Divorced

Employment: Frost Toys, Illinois

“Frost Toys.” You read, sounding deflated. “Even he’s working for Frost.”

“Can you get a phone number? His business phone maybe?”

“Can do.” You hopped onto his LinkedIn and found his contact, punching in the number and handing your phone to Bernard.

He waited while it rang, shaking his head when it booted him to voicemail. There was a long beep and Bernard said, exasperated, “Hey Scott, this is Bernard. If you remember me, remember anything, please call back. We’re going to fix all of this.”

He hung up and handed the phone back to you, looking disappointed.

“It’s okay. It’s gonna be fine.”

“Having trouble believing that at the moment.” He exhaled, frustrated. “This is bad.”

“On a scale of zero to plastic Santa…?”

He chuckled, mood lightening the tiniest bit. “You heard about that?”

“It was the talk of the meeting that month.” You laughed, remembering. Your smile faded when you remembered who else had been at that meeting. Maybe that was where Jack had gotten his messed up little idea of world domination.

“I’d take three of that guy before this.” Bernard shook his head. “What now?”

You thought before shrugging. “I guess we’re going to Illinois.”

“You’re serious? You’re coming with me to get Scott?”

“Or what, let you do this on your own? No way. Help me get some stuff together. I just put gas in my car so we should be good for a while.”

He smiled, getting to his feet and pulling you up after him. “Alright, what do you need?”

As quickly as you could, you gathered up the absolute basics: a pair of pajamas, an extra set of clothes, your toothbrush and toothpaste, your hairbrush, extra fuzzy socks, and a phone charger. Once the two of you were done, you stopped in the kitchen to load up on snacks and drinks for the long car ride, garnering looks from your roommates.

“Hey, who’s the guy?” Cindy asked, having missed him on his way in, apparently.

“I’m Bernard, a friend of (Y/N)’s. We have, uh, History together. History class, that is.” He offered his hand, but neither of them shook it, still too wrapped up in their phones and the cruise tickets they were busy booking.

“Ohhhh, right, I think I remember her mentioning you.” Megan nodded, agreeing. “You two going somewhere?”

“Illinois.”

“Why?” Cindy asked. “What’s in Illinois?”

“We’re going to see The Bean. I’ve heard it’s lovely this time of year.” You shrugged. “Probably cheaper than a North Pole trip, too.”

“The Bean…” Bernard chuckled, shaking his head as he shoved a box of Rice Krispy Treats in the snack bag along with some Hershey Kisses and a bag of Twizzlers.

“Okay, Mr. Sweet Tooth, pack some salty stuff for me,” you muttered, elbowing him.

“Heh, right. Sorry.” He smiled sheepishly, packing a few saltier options that would appeal to your human taste buds.

“We probably won’t be back by the time you two leave, so…lock up good, alright?” You asked, meeting each of their eyes.

You loved your roommates. You knew they weren’t usually like this, dropping literally everything for a vacation. It was something about this timeline. Christmas wasn’t…happy like it was supposed to be. It was a bitter, greedy thing that was pushing these girls, who loved their families very much, away from their loved ones during the holidays. It made you sick.

“You alright?” Bernard asked, noticing the moment you began to space out. The last thing he needed was to lose you, too.

“I’m good, yeah. Let’s go.”

***

Hauling your little suitcase and your bag full of snacks, the two of you walked out of the apartment to where you’d parked your car. Thankfully, it was still there, one of the things the new timeline seemed to have no effect on. You slid your suitcase onto the back seat and Bernard set the bag of snacks on the floor in front of the passenger seat.

You settled into the driver’s seat, turning on the car and adjusting the temperature and the mirrors. Bernard fiddled with the radio, looking for Christmas tunes and finding them, catching the end of White Christmas just in time for an announcement from the radio host.

“We’re playing your favorite Christmas Hits all day, 24/7. That was White Christmas by Michael Bublé, up next, Santa’s new hit single, Come Meet Santa.”

“You’re kidding me.” You groaned as an insufferable song started blaring from the speakers, Jack singing about his fancy new resort at the Pole.

“He’s got the reindeer in a petting zoo?” Bernard asked, disheartened as he listened to the lyrics.

“Oh my god…” You shook your head. “We’ve gotta find Scott.”

You connected your own Christmas playlist to the aux cord, doing away with Jack’s twisted idea of Christmas and set up navigation to the Frost Toys office building in Chicago. You figured even if it wasn’t exact, it would get you close enough to Scott by the time he called you back. Well, you hoped he would. Hope was kind of all the two of you had.

You drove out the front gates of your college campus and started heading towards the highway. “Let me know if you need a bathroom break or anything.”

“Alright.” Bernard nodded, still looking tense.

“Did you…try to call the Pole? I don’t know if there’s a special number for that or…?”

“I did. Customer Service put me on hold.”

You blinked. “Customer Service?”

“Yeah we didn’t have that department yesterday.” Bernard crossed his arms and leaned back against the seat, eyes squeezed shut in what you were sure was the immense stress of the situation. “Sounds like Curtis is in charge up there now, though. It’s like I never existed.”

“Oh.” You said, turning on your blinker to get in the faster lane. “I’m really sorry, Bernard.”

“Yeah, it’s…we’re gonna fix it.” He insisted, repeating your sentiment from earlier. “We have to.”

“We will.” You assured him.

He chuckled darkly. “This whole time, all I’ve been able to think about is how…this…what I’m going through now is what you’ve been going through for the past three years.”

“If it makes you feel better, I didn’t really know what I was missing out on until today.”

“How do you mean?”

“Something about you showing up jogged my memory. Before that, it was just little tiny bits and pieces. If it weren’t for your snow globe, I definitely would have thought I was losing my mind. I remembered Mother Nature and the…role she played in this, I guess, but I could not have told you what she looks like. All I’ve had is the idea of her.”

“And now?”

“Now I remember. Pretty much everything, I think. Santa, the Pole, you, all of it.”

“Well that’s good for us.” Bernard chuckled.

“And when it’s over, I’m sure she’ll just…wipe me all over again.”

“I will see to it myself that that does not happen.” He shook his head. “I can’t believe she ever did that to you to begin with. Lead you on like that just to drop you like nothing happened.”

“Yeah.” You shrugged, letting out a sigh. “I don’t know, I just…like I said to you that day in your office—I think, it’s still a little fuzzy—I always knew it was a little too good to be true. I always felt like I just…I was the puzzle piece that didn’t fit. That there was this big, beautiful, magical world out there, but I wasn’t meant to…be part of it, I guess.”

“I don’t think that’s true.” Bernard shook his head. “I’m 1600 years old and I’ve never met someone who doesn’t have a place. And having met you, I can guarantee you do belong. If Mother Nature can’t see that, then that’s her loss.”

You smiled softly. “Thanks.”

“You know, we can always use a hand in the ornament department.”

“I’d work anywhere you stuck me just to be able to hang out at the Pole again.”

“See, that’s the spirit.” He laughed.

The two of you drove for a handful of hours and you did decide to stop for gas, just to be safe. That, and you were really craving a gas station slushee. So, you filled the tank while Bernard grabbed the two of you some slushees for the rest of the drive down.

While he was standing there, there was a weird, floaty feeling about him. For a moment, his hands began to fade, sparkles taking their place, but as soon as you walked through the doors, the bell jingling above your head, the feeling went away and he exhaled a sigh of relief, feeling solid again.

“You alright?” You asked, voice hushed.

He squeezed his eyes shut, nodding before daring to meet your gaze. Never in his millennia and a half had he ever felt so weak.

“Bernard?”

“I’m fine!” He insisted, raising his voice slightly, but softening when he met your eyes again. “Sorry, I’m…fine.”

“Hang in there.” You whispered, standing closer to him. “I can’t lose you, too.”

He nodded, but didn’t say anything. The two of you went back out to the car, sipping your slushees and turning the Christmas music back on when it was interrupted suddenly by an incoming call.

You looked at Bernard and he reached over, putting the call on speaker. “Hello?”

“Bernard? Is that you?” Santa’s voice came out of the speakers and you sighed in relief.

“Santa? Oh thank the stars.” Bernard closed his eyes, a long breath working out of his lungs.

“What the hell is going on? Where are you?”

“We’re about an hour from Frost Toys. We did some research and found this, uh, new job of yours.”

“Don’t get me started.” He chuckled. “I’ll send my apartment address. Does this number work? Whose phone is this, I didn’t know you had a cell phone.”

“I don’t. It’s a long story, but I’m with a friend and we’re on the way.”

“Good. Well then, I’ll see you two soon. The sooner the better.” Scott sounded very relieved. He hung up and texted over your new destination, which was just a little ways further than the building you were already heading towards.

With new fervor, you pulled out of the gas station and got back on the highway, reaching Scott’s apartment with speeds even Bernard was impressed by. You pulled into the parking garage, got your little orange slip to put on the dash, and took the elevator into the building. Scott buzzed you upstairs and you met him outside the door of the snazzy, modern downtown apartment. At the very least, this timeline had given him a cushy job. He ushered the two of you inside.

“Bernard.” Scott greeted, hugging his Head Elf briefly before the two turned back to you. “I’ve never been so relieved to see you.”

“Likewise.” Bernard sighed.

“And you are…?”

“(Y/N). (Y/N) (L/N).” You introduced, offering your hand. “I don’t expect you to—”

“Oh! You were Mother Nature’s apprentice for a bit, weren’t you?” He asked, remembering.

“Yeah. That was me.” You nodded, deciding to spare him the gritty details. “I’m here to help save Christmas.”

“That might be easier said than done…”

“(Y/N) thinks Jack might have used time travel to do this. We were planning on going to see Father Time to see if any of this is something he can fix, or…or if Jack did something to him and that’s how he accomplished all of this.”

“It wasn’t Father Time.” Scott shook his head. “Jack tricked me with a wishing snow globe. Made me wish I had never been Santa and…took the coat for himself.”

“Oh.” Bernard murmured, nodding. “The Escape Clause. Well that would do it, then.”

“There’s gotta be some way to undo this.” Scott said. “It can’t just be over. This can’t be it. Carol…she doesn’t even know who I am.”

“Mrs. Claus?” You asked softly and he nodded solemnly.

You’d met her on a few occasions and she had always been so nice to you, relieved to have another human-ish woman at the Pole, as she said, which always earned a laugh from you. And now, she was a school principal again at a public school who didn’t believe in Christmas anymore. Even Mrs. Claus wasn’t safe from Jack’s trickery.

“Okay, so…we go to the Pole, then. Get…plane tickets, I guess. My roommates were planning their vacation there when we left, so if they can do it, I’m sure we can.”

“Definitely.” Scott nodded, searching for tickets on his phone.

“We go there, find that snow globe, and undo all of this, set it right, the way it’s supposed to be.” You said, determined.

“You think it’ll work?” Scott asked Bernard and he thought over it for a long time before nodding.

“It has to.”

***

Scott booked three tickets for the earliest flight in the morning, at five. You changed into pajamas so you could attempt to get some sleep, and Bernard put something on the TV. You emerged from Scott’s guest bedroom, face wiped clean of makeup, hair freshly brushed, and cute little penguins on your pajama pants. Bernard grinned.

“What?”

“Penguins?”

“I thought they were cute.” You defended, shrugging as you plopped down on the couch next to him.

“I never said they weren’t.” He shrugged, kicking his feet up on the coffee table.

“Hey, pizza sound good, you two?” Scott called from the kitchen.

“Sounds perfect.” You replied.

“Yeah, that’s fine.” Bernard agreed, flipping channels until he found what he was looking for. Ah yes, the Christmas movies. Specifically, the stop-motion Rankin/Bass movies you’d watched during your childhood. Absolute classics.

You gasped, childlike wonder filling your features. “Oh, I love this one.”

“You like these movies?”

“I’ve seen just about all of them, I think. We always used to watch them when I was a kid. These were my childhood. I like them a lot more than the Hallmark movies my roommates are always watching.”

“Rightfully so.” Bernard agreed. “These guys just…got it.”

“Better than anyone else.” You sat criss-cross on the couch. “Riddle me this, Mr. Head Elf, is Rudolph real?”

“Sorry to burst your bubble, (Y/N), but no, he is not.”

“No! What? You’re lying!” You covered your face with your hands. “My life is a lie.”

“I wouldn’t lie about something like that.” He laughed. “Rudolph is not one of our reindeer. The rest all are, though. Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen.”

“Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen?” You asked.

Bernard smiled, proud. “Precisely.”

“Hey,” Scott held the phone away from his face for a second, covering the microphone with his hand, “pepperoni good? Thin crust?”

“Sounds good to me, Santa.” Bernard gave a thumbs-up. He could not, for the life of him, remember the last time he’d even had pizza.

“Yeah, I love thin crust.” You agreed.

“Great.” He nodded and walked back towards the kitchen again, finalizing the pizza order.

The commercial break hit with, of course, an ad for the North Pole Waterpark and Resort. There were clips of miserable elves playing games in the arcade, forced to work as lifeguards in the waterpark, facilitating the reindeer petting zoo.

You frowned, that familiar feeling of dread settling into your stomach again. This was awful.

“That’s Betty, there, in the green. Third in command. Second, now, I guess. She looks…”

“Miserable.” You finished.

“Yeah.” Bernard nodded. He let out a frustrated shout. “I can’t believe this is happening! Look at them! Look at what he’s done to the Pole!”

Bernard took a shaking breath and slumped back against the couch, his lack of magic hitting him once again and that floaty, sparkly feeling returning.

“Bernard?” You asked, voice rising in concern.

“It’s my magic. The magic of the Pole, of Christmas, everything. Elves are…well, we’re basically made of magic, so if we don’t fix this, and soon…” He shook his head, words trailing off into hopelessness.

“Take some of mine.” You said, quiet, but certain.

He stared at you for a long moment. “What?”

“Take some of my magic.” You told him, more confident this time.

“You still have magic?” He asked, eyebrows furrowing.

“And no idea how to use it, but you do. You need it more than I do right now.”

“O-okay.” He nodded, sitting up a little straighter.

You unfurled your legs, turning to face him. You turned his hands so they were in a receiving position and placed your palms on his, taking a deep breath and closing your eyes to focus yourself, tuning into the fragments of magic still inside of you and then pushing them towards him, through his hands, up his arms, into his chest.

He flinched a little at the feeling, the sharp, cold tingle, but his eyes widened when he saw it, your magic, flowing into him. It was iridescent, teal and purple and pink and blue, waves ebbing and flowing, its gentle glow lighting up your features in the dim room, your hair blowing around softly in the gentle breeze it created.

It looked like the Northern Lights.

He pulled away after a few long moments, stopping the flow. You opened your eyes to look at him.

“Do you feel better?” You asked, concern etched deep in your gaze, pulling at his heart strings in a way he hadn’t felt in centuries.

“A lot better. Thank you,” he said. “But save some for yourself. That might be what’s protecting your memories.”

“Right.” You nodded, thinking. “That makes sense.”

It was quiet, the murmur of the TV the only sound other than Scott in the kitchen, getting dishes out in anticipation of the pizzas arriving, their ceramic clattering against the fancy marble counters you’d spotted on your way in.

You looked at Bernard, really looked at him for the first time. You’d be lying if you said you hadn’t been crushing on him a little bit, back when you were acquaintances, when he was the knowledgeable, responsible, somewhat stern Head Elf with a heart of gold and you were Mother Nature’s apprentice, vying for a destiny you would not receive.

You remembered the way your heart would lurch when he peeked into the meetings you sat in on, with the rest of the Legendary Figures, and occasionally, the Guardians of the Seasons, if their presence was necessary.

One of the other elves, you were pretty sure her name was Abby, had given you a tour the first time you were there, she’d introduced you to him, and she’d also called to attention the way your cheeks went rosy the moment you walked away from him.

You wondered if he thought of you, if he had those memories too, tucked away someplace special, or if you were just another passerby in his long, long life. Sometimes you almost forgot he was hiding a thousand years behind that youthful face.

Sitting there, you weren’t sure if it was him who started leaning in or you, but it stopped as soon as Scott called for you from the other room, like a scratched record in the middle of a sweet, slow Christmas ballad, pulling you both back down to reality.

“Pizza.” You chuckled, standing up from the couch. Maybe it was the lighting, but you swore Bernard’s cheeks were rosier than they had been before.

“Right. Pizza.”

The two of you walked out to the kitchen together and sat on the barstools pulled up to the counter, grabbing slices of the thin-crust pepperoni.

“So, I booked the North Pole tickets. I also booked us tickets from there to London…Just in case.”

“Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence.” Bernard chuckled.

“Hey, you look better.” Scott noted.

“I’m feeling a lot better, too.” Bernard motioned to you. “(Y/N) here still has a few tricks up her sleeve.”

“Good. We’re gonna need all the magic we can get.”

***

You didn’t get very much sleep before your alarm went off. It had been about what you were expecting. You never slept well when you were stressed.

You did, however, have a dream.

You were sitting in a meeting with Mother Nature and the Guardians, the two of them that were left after the Spring Enchantress’ retirement. Of course, you were training up to fill the position, so it wouldn’t remain empty for long.

Mother Nature led the meeting, held in the giant tree at the center of her Grotto, glancing at her watch every few minutes until finally, he showed up. Jack Frost. Even then, chills ran up your spine, though, at the time, you were convinced it was a side effect of his existence in general.

“Sorry I’m late, ladies. Had quite the hold up in Toronto.” He shrugged, sliding into the fifth seat at the round table, a snowflake embedded in the crystalline mosaic on the table’s surface. “What are we talking about?”

“You, actually.” Mother Nature stated, sitting up straighter. “We were wondering how the search for the Aurora was going, since you’ve elected to take on the task yourself.”

“Ah, yes, well, it’s certainly not easy. Winter Guardians don’t just fall from the sky, you know. But I’ve searched all of the places she used to pop up. Hence my overlay in Canada.” Jack shrugged. “And besides, it’s been five centuries since we’ve had one, I think we’re doing just fine without her.”

“I wouldn’t say that.” The Autumn Witch, a gorgeous young woman named Amber Sanderson, interjected, meeting him with her sharp gaze. Her long, curly orange hair was as beautiful as the autumn leaves, brown skin smooth and ageless, even after her thirty or so years on the council. She didn’t look a day over twenty-five.

“Then what would you say, Ms. Sanderson?” Jack countered, crossing his arms and leaning back in his chair. “If you have a problem with the way I’m running things, I’d prefer if you were forward about it.”

“We have been.” Evangeline Cho agreed, the Summer Sorceress. As her season had just started, she was glowing even more brilliantly than she usually did. “Every year, winter creeps further and further into autumn and spring. And it seems you haven’t done anything to stop it.”

“What, I can’t control that! I’m getting more powerful! It’s merely a side effect.”

“Which is precisely why we need someone on this council who can control their abilities. Such as an Aurora, which you were tasked with finding nearly a century ago, Frost.” Mother Nature stated, her voice cool and even. “If you’d like one of us to find her instead—”

“Oh no, no, that won’t be necessary. I promise you, by next winter, we will have an Aurora again and I’ll go back to managing snow days and frosting window panes.” He drew an X over his heart. “Cross my heart.”

“Excellent.” Mother Nature nodded. “Meeting adjourned.”

You blinked awake in time with Mother Nature’s gavel, staring at the ceiling of Scott’s guest room. That wasn’t a dream. You were certain. It was a memory. You’d have to tell the others.

***

Once your alarm went off, you got dressed and met Scott and Bernard in the entryway of the apartment. Bernard, who hadn’t changed his clothes, had one pointed ear sticking out the brim of his hat, a dead giveaway if there ever was one. You rummaged through your carry on and produced a knitted hat you’d made a few years back, motioning to his ear.

“Oh. Right. Thanks.” He nodded, swapping his usual headwear for the hat you gave him, slipping it on with ease. “Where’d you get this?”

“I made it. I knit.”

He chuckled, checking his reflection to make sure he was covered well. “Well aren’t you just full of surprises?”

“As we’re both learning.”

Scott drove the three of you to the airport and you arrived early, hoping your plane would be a little ahead of schedule, but when you found it was actually delayed an hour, it gave you time to grab drinks at the coffee shop.

“Hot cocoa, shot of espresso, extra whipped cream, please.” You ordered, Bernard just behind you.

“I’ll have the same, but make it a double shot.”

“Coming right up,” the barista nodded, setting to work.

Outside, the sun was just beginning to rise, filling the sky with orange and pink, sunlight glistening on the icicles hanging from the windows. You smiled, appreciating the quiet moment despite the dread looming overhead.

Once your drinks were ready, you joined Scott on a chair near the windows.

“So um, I had a dream last night. I think it was a memory from before.” You said, not sure how else to bring it up.

“What was it about?” Scott asked, curious.

“I was at a meeting with Mother Nature and the Guardians. Jack was there, sitting in for…the Aurora, I guess.”

“The Winter Aurora.” Bernard replied, nodding.

“What is that?” Scott asked, unfamiliar with the term.

“Well, there’s a Guardian for each season, often a woman, gifted with the powers of that specific time of year. They work with their Legendary Figures to oversee the flow of time and ensure everything is on schedule. The Spring Enchantress, the Summer Sorceress, the Autumn Witch, and the Winter Aurora.” Bernard explained. “We haven’t had an Aurora at the Pole in 500 years…”

“Well that would explain why I’ve never heard of her.” Scott nodded, thinking. “So Jack took her job?”

“Yeah, they were talking about his…powers increasing, I’m assuming because he was getting buffed by her powers in addition to his. And how winter is creeping into autumn and spring because of it.”

“That’s not good.” Bernard shook his head. “The seasons have to be balanced. Jack’s hunger for power is messing up the eco system.”

“Mother Nature said he was supposed to be looking for her, and I don’t know…maybe he just…wasn’t looking.”

“Wouldn’t surprise me.” Bernard took a long sip of his cocoa. “I’ll add that to the top of my list as soon as we get everything else back to normal.”

As soon as you finished your drinks, the plane started boarding, so you followed after Scott and onto the plane. Through the windows in the walkway, you could see the plane, giant, winter blue, and emblazoned with a giant picture of Jack Frost’s Santa impression, giving a thumbs-up.

“I’m gonna puke.” You rolled your eyes.

“Ditto.”

The three of you boarded and settled into your seats, all in a row. Scott had brought his laptop along to do some research on the flight. He figured it was better to go in with something of a plan than be blindsided by whatever you found on the other side. You had a feeling the Pole would look a lot different than last you’d seen it.

You settled into the window seat and got as comfortable as you could. For a supposedly luxury flight, the seats were surprisingly stiff. Knowing Jack, you should have expected him to cut corners, even in his power fantasy brought to life.

“How are you feeling about all of this?” Bernard asked, voice soft.

“As well as I can, I guess.” You shrugged. “I’m glad I’m not doing this alone.”

He nodded, eyes meeting yours, soft and serious. “I am, too.”

A lady in a flowery dress walked past, her perfume so strong, you caught a whiff of it from the window seat, its floral scent immediately tickling your nose. You tried your best to suppress the sneeze, but to no avail. You sneezed two times, waiting for a third, but it never came.

“Jeez.” You shook your head, reaching for the Benedryl in your bag.

“What’s that for?”

“My allergies. That lady’s perfume was pretty strong.” You chuckled.

“You have allergies?” Bernard asked, eyes narrowing. “Spring allergies.”

“…Yeah?”

“You have spring allergies and Mother Nature thought you were the new Spring Enchantress?” Bernard asked, looking skeptical. He knew Mother Nature. She was an intelligent, almost all-knowing being. He knew she wouldn’t make a mistake that obvious.

“That part never made sense to me either.” You shrugged.

“She thought you were a Spring, but…you’re obviously more of a Winter. I might be a bit biased, though.” He smirked.

Your heart raced when he said it, the realization hitting you that he was flirting. You were getting hit on by Santa’s Head Elf. That was something not everyone could say.

“I mean, I was born in December. The 21st.”

Suddenly, his flirting demeanor was gone, replaced instead by a look of realization, like you had just given him the last piece of the puzzle he’d been trying to solve since the day you left the Pole. “The Winter Solstice…”

“What was that?”

“Nothing. Let me see that, Santa.” Bernard took the laptop from Scott’s lap desk, clumsily navigating with the mousepad and punching something into the search bar. “Where was it your parents are from, (Y/N)?”

“I grew up in South Carolina. We were supposed to live in Michigan, but Dad got a job opportunity at the last minute, so we moved right after I was born.”

“Whereabouts?”

“Traverse City.”

“Hmm…” Bernard clicked through articles a bit before finding a story that made your heart race. “Is…Is this the house?”

“Yeah. Yeah, that’s…Oh my god.” You covered your mouth, reading through the article. Three months after your family had moved out, there had been a freak snow storm that took out half the houses in the neighborhood. And your house had been hit the worst, the roof over what would have been your nursery was caved in completely.

“Jack hasn’t been not looking for the Aurora. He’s been killing her every time she’s popped up.” Bernard concluded, a horrified look on his face.

“Wait. So you’re saying…” You swallowed the lump in your throat. “I’m…”

“Mother Nature appointed you Spring Enchantress to throw him off of your scent.” He said. “That has to be it. It’s the only explanation.”

“Are you sure?” You asked, fingers shaking as you wiped your sweaty palms on your pants. “I…I mean, wouldn’t I know? I’m not…special. Not like that…”

“Are you kidding me?” Bernard asked, incredulous. “You’ve gotta be kidding me. (Y/N), I’ve seen your magic. It’s the only think keeping me alive right now. It…” He reached for your hand, positioning your palm so it was facing upwards and as soon as he did, a wave of stunning Northern Lights glowed between your fingers. “Do you see that? I’ve seen Aurora magic. This is that. I can’t believe I didn’t figure it out sooner…”

“Woah.” Scott muttered, eyes falling on the scene unfolding between the two of you.

You curled your fingers, pulling the magic back into yourself and extinguishing the light. You sat with it for a moment and met Bernard’s gaze. “He tried to kill me.” You murmured, tears brimming in your eyes. “He tried to kill me for…for power? For a title?”

“We’re not going to let him get away with it.” Scott stated, fire in his gaze. “We’re not going to let him get away with any of it.”

You felt a tingling on your head and watched as white trickled from your scalp down to the ends of the piece of hair at the front of your face. Your heart raced and you touched the hair with shaking fingers.

It was real now. You were the Winter Aurora. And you had a feeling the closer you got to the Pole, the more evident that would become…

***

By the time the plane landed, the three of you were settled on a plan. Scott, Jack’s biggest priority, would cause a distraction, buying time for you two. Bernard would find the elves and try to snap them out of it. You, as the only one Jack wouldn’t fully recognize, would go find the snow globe and get it to Scott so he could undo his wish and fix everything.

Was it a perfect plan? No. But it was all you had, so it would have to be enough.

You walked off of the plane together, hoping the streak of white in your hair wouldn’t draw too much attention. Once you were inside the gates, the three of you huddled, finalizing your plan.

“You’re going to be fine on your own? Do you know how to get to the snow globe room?” Scott checked.

“I’m…being here…yeah, I’m definitely gonna be able to find it.” You nodded, still completely blown away by the powerful waves of magic, hitting you all at once for the first time. “It’s all coming back to me.”

Bernard grinned, hopeful. “Good. Good luck.”

“You too. Stay safe. I…I really don’t trust him. What he’s capable of…” You said warily.

The Head Elf shook his head, confident. “Is nothing compared to what you are.”

“Let’s save Christmas.” Scott announced.

The three of you split off. You watched as Bernard and Scott walked away together, Scott playfully nudging Bernard. About what, you couldn’t be certain, but you had a pretty good feeling it had something to do with you.

Cheeks flushed for more reason than one, you took off, following the swirling feeling around your heart, dodging past security elves with a stealth and speed you didn’t know you possessed. It was like muscle memory, suppressed very deep in the core of your being. A power you had never tapped into, but one that was quick to embrace you. You felt it in your soul, the Pole wanted you there, and it was very glad you’d returned.

Following the instructions Scott and Bernard had given you, you walked briskly down the corridors, slinking past bakery elves on their way to one of the many tourist eating spots. The workshop itself sat big and empty, barely an elf in sight. The few that were there looked tired, sad, working on tacky Santa Claus bobble heads and cheap gift shop pens. It broke your heart.

Distant voices echoed against the cavernous halls. In your mind, you heard echoes, too. Laughter and love and light, elves building toys, creating things together, working to make the kids of the world happy, no matter what it took. The workshop had been wrapped in pine trim and string lights, warm and bright.

Now, it sat dark and empty.

You wiped a tear from your cheek and continued down the hall, to where the entrance to the Hall of Snowglobes was. And at its entrance, was Betty, who stared at you for a long moment as though trying to place where she recognized you from, but quickly shook it off.

“You can’t be back here. No visitors allowed. I can escort you back to the main area, though.” She offered, smiling.

“Your name is Betty, right?”

She hesitated. “How did you…? Nevermind that, you’re still not allowed back here.”

“I have to be back here.” You told her. “It’s important. The fate of Christmas depends on it.”

“Well, the fate of Christmas depends on me doing my job, so if you’ll follow me this way.”

“I can’t do that, Betty.” You shook your head. “And I know you don’t want to either. Don’t you see that all of this is wrong? That what Jack’s done to the Pole, the capitalism, the resort, the gift shops, the reindeer in the petting zoo, this is not what Christmas is supposed to be. You know that. I know you know that.”

Betty’s features saddened and for a moment, you thought you’d won her over until she reached for a walkie talkie. “Security, we’ve got a tourist that needs to be removed from the Workshop.”

“Great.” You huffed, summoning your power to your hand, just as Bernard had shown you. But instead of sending a blast of energy at her, you let it slowly waft over, rainbow colors and dancing lights slowly enveloping her. As the magic hit her face, she blinked through it, eyes awash in the pinks and teals and purples. Yet another streak of white flowed through your hair.

She dropped to her knees and stared up at you, tears in her eyes as it all came flooding back. Her voice fell to a whisper. “You’re our Aurora.”

“I am.” You nodded, feeling confident in your title for the first time. “And I need your help. We don’t have much time.”

“Bernard, he’s gone! He—”

“He came here with me. We have to hurry. We need that snow globe.” You told her and she nodded.

You helped Betty to her feet and she ushered you into the Hall of Snowglobes, carefully plucking the little glass orb that had started all of this off of its pedestal and handing it to you. You held it with careful hands, admiring it. It was beautiful, if not absolutely dangerous.

“We’ve gotta get this to Santa.” You told her.

She nodded, following you out of the Workshop and into the bustling center of town, an absolute sensory overload if there ever was one. Tourists packed the streets, vendors were shouting over the noise, and above it all, speakers were blaring Jack’s Christmas Album, each new song worst than the one before it.

There was a massive stage, covered in fake ice and bright lights, and on said stage, was him, Jack Frost in all of his faux Santa glory, his red suit iced at the ends, hair spiked and ridiculous, like icicles. Behind him, was a row of toy soldiers and in their grasp was none other than Bernard, eyes wide in fear as Jack manifested a blast of snow in his hand.

“(Y/N)!” Scott shouted over the crowd, waving wildly to get your attention.

“Get this to Scott.” You handed the snow globe to Betty, urgency in your voice and your eyes. “I’ve gotta get Bernard.”

“On it.” She took the globe from you and weaved through the crowd expertly. You ran towards the stage as though everything was moving in slow motion.

“This guy isn’t Santa! He’s trying to ruin Christmas!” Bernard shouted, voice cracking as he did.

Jack laughed loudly, and the crowd assembled did the same. “Do you hear him? I am Santa! Without me, there would be no Christmas! What gives you the right to say any of this?”

“I’m the Head Elf!” Bernard insisted, struggling against the toy soldiers. “I’ve seen a thousand Christmases and dozens of Santas! You are nothing compared to any of them!”

“Alright, tough guy, you think I’m not Santa? How about I show you what a real Santa is capable of?” Jack threatened, ice in his voice. He raised his hand to freeze Bernard and you dove onto the stage, tackling Jack to the ground, earning a loud gasp and several concerned voices from the crowd.

“Don’t you dare touch him, you fucking narcissistic popsicle!” You shouted, getting a good punch in before retreating to Bernard’s side, kicking the toy soldier behind him and pulling apart the large ribbon bow binding his wrists. Parents covered their children’s ears, shielding them from the harsh language. Some of the crowd cleared out, retreating to a safer distance, while others pulled out their phones, desperate to go viral on YouTube.

“Come on.” You grabbed Bernard’s hand and he squeezed yours, following you off of the stage and through the crowd to where Scott stood with the snow globe. He shook it and made a wish, but nothing happened.

“What?” Scott asked, trying again. “It won’t work.”

“It’s the Escape Clause.” Bernard closed his eyes, remembering the rules. “Jack made this wish. He’s…he’s Santa now; he’s the only one who can undo this.”

“Oh my god.” A wave of dread flowed over you.

“And those, my dears, are the words I will never utter.” Jack said, dusting himself off and sauntering over to the four of you, his security not far behind, ready to apprehend all of you. “It was a nice try, though. Really valiant effort, all four of you. Scott, Bernard, Betty…and you. I can’t say I recognize you.”

“Maybe if you had half a braincell, you would.”

He scoffed, offended. “Well, I guess it doesn’t matter. They’ll figure that much out when they get you to jail, I suppose.” He shrugged and the security officers seized the four of you, taking the snow globe and giving it back to Jack. He tossed it in the air cockily a few times before chuckling. “You know, I don’t need this thing. I’m never going to wish all of this away.”

Frost tendrils crept up the glass dome and in a great burst of light, it shattered. You gasped, feeling the magic settle. This was it. This was reality now. There was no way to undo it.

“O-oh.” Bernard took a stuttered breath, faltering. He collapsed to the ground and you pushed away from security, rushing to his side and collecting him in your arms.

“Bernard?”

He shook his head. You raised a hand to give him more of your magic, but he lowered it with his own. “You have to finish this, Aurora.” He said, eyes serious, glimmering despite the pain you could tell he was in. “You’re the only one who can.”

He leaned forward, a hand brushing the hair away from your face, capturing your lips with his own, his kiss soft and tender, tasting faintly of peppermint, and then he disappeared in a burst of sparkles, his silver and gold magic drifting forward into your chest.

You gasped, tears rolling down your cheeks, arms empty and heart emptier. “No! NO! What did you do to him?” You turned, facing Jack.

“The only thing I could. Protecting Christmas from the likes of you.” He shrugged. “What was it he called you? Autumn? Is that your name? Autumn?”

“No.” You told him, rising to your feet, pure magic lifting you from the ground and setting you on your feet.

His eyes widened and he took a step back.

“I’m the Aurora.” You rose into the air, teals and purples and pinks swirling around you in a rush of power. You raised your hand, manifesting the snow globe within it, its broken shards reforming in your grasp, effortless and precise. Once it was whole again, you shook it, magic swirling within its waters, overriding the rules of the Escape Clause with rules of your own.

A voice came out of you then that you weren’t sure was your own. It came deep from your chest, echoing across the pole, accompanied by a wave of power, the same magic you’d used on Betty, but tenfold, fierce and fiery, prickling like static all down your arms as it left you.

“May Everything Return to the Way it Was Before, to the Way it was Always Meant to Be.”

And with one final rush of magic, everything went white.

***

It took a while for the picture to form in front of you, your hearing distorted, the colors slowly coming back one by one.

You were kneeling there in the center of the Workshop, which was full of elves, their work paused as they watched the scene unfolding. Scott was Santa once more, wearing his red undershirt and suspenders, looking jollier than you’d ever seen him. Carol stood beside him, looking confused.

Mother Nature was there, as was Tooth, and, of course, Jack Frost, wearing his signature blue suit as opposed to the red one he’d been wearing moments earlier.

You got to your feet, looking for Bernard in the crowd, but not finding him. Your heart lurched, your search brought to a halt by Jack’s nasally voice.

“Aw, come on now, kid, no hard feelings, right?”

Rather than replying, you wound up and punched him square in the jaw with more force than you were used to possessing.

“OOOOOOOH…” The elves murmured, wincing as Jack fell to the ground, gripping his face.

“I’m going to ask you one last time and you are going to answer me. What. Did you do to him.” You demanded, a fierce power zinging through you.

“I didn’t do anything to him! This is all a big misunderstanding! Right, Santa? Tooth? Back me up on this!” Jack groveled, shielding his face with both hands, cowering in fear.

“Can’t do that, Jack.” Scott shook his head. “You have to answer to her.”

“Where is Bernard?”

“I feel like there are more pressing issues at hand—” Jack deflected, shrinking further away from you.

“What’s that?” One of the elves asked, pointing to a column of sparkles manifesting beside you.

You turned to look, staring at it until it clicked. Reaching into yourself, you let the last pieces of Bernard’s magic flow out of your chest, where it had retreated for safekeeping. Silver and gold glitter rushed out of you, swirling from the ground up until he was standing there again, solid and real.

He all but collapsed into your arms, holding onto you tightly while he found his balance again.

“Bernard,” you sobbed, holding him close, your arms desperate to prove he was real again, that he was solid and wasn’t going anywhere.

“Hey, no need for tears, Aurora. I’m alright.” He grinned, meeting your gaze. His hand rose to your cheek and he wiped your tears away as he took you in for all that you were. “Thanks to you, I am.”

“(Y/N)?” Mother Nature asked, voice soft and warm.

“I…I can explain.” You insisted, turning to face her.

“No need, dear one. I know why you’re here. I’ve always known.” She smiled, bowing her head. “And now that you’re here, we can finish this.”

You looked to Bernard and he nodded, letting go of you to give you a gentle push forward, his eyes proud and supportive.

“Kneel.” She instructed, and you did, dropping to one knee in front of her.

The elves fell silent, desperate to witness what was unfolding for the first time in centuries.

“(Y/N) (L/N), through your bravery and selflessness, you have proven what I’ve known all along. You are the Aurora Borealis, the Winter Guardian, and Protector of the North Pole and all her Magic. For the first time in five centuries, the North Pole has an Aurora, which means…” She looked to Jack, who shook his head desperately.

“No. No way. I am not giving an ounce of my power to that…that…she punched me! Twice! Did none of you see that? She’s violent!”

“After everything you did to the Auroras before her, you’re lucky all she did was punch you!” Bernard snapped, arms crossed. “Not to mention the fact you destroyed her house in an attempt to kill her.”

Jack gasped in faux shock. “What, me? I…I would never—!”

“Jack.” Mother Nature reprimanded sharply. “You don’t have to give her the power. It was never yours to begin with.”

She outstretched a hand and, as easily as turning on a faucet, the power he’d been given, the magical, dancing light, was siphoned out of him and floated straight into you. Your feet lifted from the ground, head tilting back as your body slowly rose from the floor, power greater than you’d ever seen or felt ebbing and flowing around you, changing you into the thing you were always meant to become: the Aurora Borealis.

Your hair fully turned white, glimmering like fallen snow, a few stray streaks of pink and purple and teal scattered throughout. Your skin took on a subtle sparkle, every part of you becoming stronger, right down to your fingernails. Your clothes were replaced with a simple, glittering dress, the color of the night sky.

Gently, you touched down again, fully reborn.

The elves murmured and whispered in awe and you looked around to find a row of proud faces.

Mother Nature stepped forward and took both of your hands in hers, meeting you face to face for the first time in three years. “Dear one, I am so sorry for everything you’ve been through. I should have warned you, I should have done more to ready you, but I didn’t and…I let you feel alone.”

“I am alive because of you. Because you misled him. Everything you did was to protect me. I understand that now.” You told her, voice smooth and confident.

She touched her forehead to yours for a moment before pulling away to meet your gaze again. “Then, dear one, I have one last question for you.”

“I’m ready.”

“Hereby and Forevermore, your duty as the Winter Aurora is to the North Pole. You are tasked with its safety and secrets, to protect all of its residents and the magic they hold. Do you accept the Title of Winter Guardian and all of the responsibilities it holds?”

“I do.” You nodded, meeting Bernard’s eyes for a brief moment, only to find the warmest, proudest smile on his face.

“Then this belongs to you.” In her hand, Mother Nature manifested a small, elegant silver tiara, embellished with glittering snowflakes. She set it gently in your hair, completing your transformation once and for all.

Jack started sneaking towards the door, but you lifted your hand, a wave of power rushing around him, turning him back towards the rest of you and giving him a push back towards the rest of you. He stumbled forward, looking around the group nervously.

“You’re—you’re not gonna kill me, right?” He asked. “You still need me! I’m the one who oversees the snow days and-and the snowmen! Think of the snowmen!”

“We do need a Jack Frost.” Mother Nature said. “Which is why while you were here terrorizing Santa, I was locating your successor. Jack, come on in.”

The doors of the Workshop opened and in walked a much younger man with shaggy white hair. Your best guess put him in his early twenties, and his wardrobe was much more modern than the other Jack’s as well, a blue hoodie adorned with silver swirls. He carried a large stick with a curve at the end of it, somewhat resembling a scythe.

“Nice to meet you.” He waved casually, leaning against his stick.

“My successor?” Jack’s eyebrows shot up. “You’re firing me?!”

“Oh, we’re doing more than firing you.” Tooth chuckled. He looked to you. “Aurora, what do you think we should do with him?”

“He needs to be put…somewhere he can’t hurt anyone else.” You decided. You turned to the Head Elf and he perked up, interested to hear your suggestion. “Do you have a snow globe I could borrow?”

He grinned and reached into his satchel, pulling out a fresh one. “I like the way you think.”

“What? No! You can’t just—” Jack shook his head, looking to Santa, to Mother Nature, to even Mrs. Claus for some other solution.

“This is for all of the Auroras before me, for the elves you brainwashed and the reindeer you stuck in a petting zoo. You’ll have lots of time to think about what you’ve done. And maybe someday, in five hundred years or so, I’ll let you go live a boring human life.” You told him, taking the snow globe from Bernard and focusing.

There was a bright flash of sparkles and then it was done, Jack was trapped in the confines of the little snow globe in your hands and he looked very angry about it, but his complaints were too muffled to make them out clearly. Santa reached for the snow globe, so you handed it to him and he gave it an amused swirl.

“Well done, (Y/N).” He complimented, passing the snow globe to Curtis. “See to it that this gets locked away properly.”

“Will do, Santa.” Curtis nodded and headed off.

“Now, (Y/N), if you are going to be staying here, I suppose someone will have to show you around the place.” Santa smiled knowingly.

Bernard cleared his throat. “I believe that would be my responsibility as Head Elf, Santa.”

“Yes, I believe it would.”

The Head Elf offered you his arm and you gladly took it, letting him escort you up the stairs of the workshop and down the hall so the two of you could have a private moment. As soon as you were out of sight, he turned to face you, his hands cupping your cheeks, nose brushing against yours.

“See, I knew you were more of a Winter.”

“Do I look okay?”

“You’ve never looked better.” He murmured, closing the distance between you and pressing his lips to yours passionately. In your Mortal life, you’d had your fair share of kisses, but kissing Bernard was something else entirely. He was experienced, that was for sure.

After what felt like an eternity, he pulled away, resting his forehead against yours. “Now, where would you like to explore first?”

***

Bernard took you around the Workshop, showing you all of the departments, which were full of elves, all of them working hard to ensure Santa was on schedule to leave that night. Bernard checked in with each of them as he did, making sure everything was going according to plan. Tooth and Mother Nature had stuck around to help out, and some of the other Legendary Figures had arrived as well, introducing themselves to you when you came around.

Finally, as the end of your tour, Bernard led you to an ornate set of stained glass double doors. As if by magic, they swung open when you approached, giving way to a beautiful bedroom, tall, arched ceilings, dancing Northern Lights projected across them. Stained glass windows, a large, wooden desk, hardwood floors and shelves and shelves of books. There was a carved armoire in the corner of the room, and against the leftmost wall, on a platform, was a giant canopy bed.

“This is the Aurora’s suite. You can decorate however you’d like. I had some elves from the interior design department get it fixed up for you.” Bernard explained, your arm looped through his, hand resting on his bicep. “If you’ll turn your attention right over here…”

He led you to the desk, dropping your arm and plucking something off of the desk. Your snow globe! The one he had given you three years before, still inscribed with those famous words that had started your entire adventure to begin with, the last remnant you had from this life before it was ripped away from you.

“My snow globe! How did you get it here?”

He shrugged, handing it to you. “My magic came back. Which means I can give this back to you.”

Bernard lifted his hand and you pressed yours against it, palm to palm. Gently, your power flowed from him back into you, a light breeze blowing through the room. He brushed your hair away from your face and pressed a long kiss to your cheek.

“There’s still a lot to do, but…I think we’re going to be able to pull everything together by tonight.”

“Well then you better get out there, Mr. Head Elf.” You smirked, pressing a kiss to the corner of his lips.

He met your eyes, “You’ll be okay?”

“I’m going to be just fine.” You assured him, setting the snow globe back on the desk so you could rest your arms on his shoulders, his hands resting on your waist. “And after, you and I will have all the time in the world to figure this out.”

“Oh! I didn’t mean to interrupt…” Curtis muttered, standing in the doorway.

“Curtis!” Bernard exclaimed, his voice cracking.

You giggled when he abruptly pulled away to face his number two.

“The tree topper department needs an extra set of hands.” Curtis said, motioning back towards the workshop.

“Can I help?” You asked.

“Oh, Aurora, you don’t have to—” Curtis shook his head.

“Yeah, but…can I?” You asked, eyes curious.

Curtis grinned. “Yeah, of course.” He made eye contact with Bernard. “I like her already.”

Bernard gave you a nudge. “I do too.”

***

At Santa’s request, you met him and Bernard at the stable gates to see him off for your very first Christmas as the North Pole’s Guardian. Your heart was racing. You didn’t know what was expected of you or what you’d have to do, but Bernard was there, his smile ever so reassuring.

Some of the elves that worked with the reindeer helped get them all properly harnessed and ready for the flight, carefully attaching their reins to the sleigh. Bernard walked you through what you’d have to do. As one of the oldest elves in the Pole, he remembered the process well.

“It’s easy. All you’ll have to do is raise your hand.” He was standing right behind you and raised your hand with his own, positioning it just so. “And lower the barrier so Santa can leave. And if you can’t, we have controls for that now. It’s…mostly ceremonial at this point.”

“Well that does make me feel a little better.” You smiled, turning towards him.

“And, um, after, I think you should…check the armoire in your room. I left something for you.”

“Oh you did, did you?”

“Something for the party. You don’t have to wear it, though.” He shrugged awkwardly, cheeks extra rosy.

“And the party starts…?”

“The minute Santa gets back.” Bernard explained. “And then we get three months off and pick back up in March.”

“Alright.” You nodded, smiling. “Plenty of time for you to show me the ropes.”

“I was thinking exactly the same thing.” He smiled, looking both ways, but not risking a kiss, not with all of the elves assembled to send Santa off.

“Everything ready?” Scott checked, donning his famed coat and hat for the flight just as a few elves loaded the famous gift bag, filled to the brim and then some, onto the back of the sleigh.

“All set, Santa.” Bernard nodded.

Scott put a hand on your shoulder, the other on Bernard’s. “We owe this Christmas to you two. Wouldn’t be standing here without either of you.”

“All in a day’s work, Santa.” You smiled.

“I’ll see you when I get back. And then the real fun begins.”

“I’ll see to it that we have enough eggnog at the ready.” Bernard replied with a wink, which Santa laughed at.

“Excellent.” He climbed into the sleigh and gave you the signal.

Just as you’d practiced, you lifted a hand and focused on the barrier protecting the Pole, made of the same magic that flowed through your veins. Effortlessly, the veil parted, making way for Santa’s sleigh and the elves erupted into cheers as Scott flew off into the sky. Bernard cheered loudly, turning to you and scooping you up in his arms, spinning you around in his excitement. You squealed with laughter.

Once your feet were on the ground again, you met his eyes briefly before pressing the quickest of kisses to his cheek and walking over to Carol, who was smiling a proud, maternal smile.

“Let’s get you ready for that party, huh?” She asked, looping her arm around yours. “You’ll have to fill me in on everything you’ve been up to! It’s nice to have a human-ish woman around here again.”

“I missed you, Carol.”

“I missed you too, hon.”

***

The deliveries went on without a hitch and Scott was back at the Pole faster than you could sing the Twelve Days of Christmas. Carol, you, and Betty had gone into your room to prepare. Carol did your hair, perching your snowflake tiara perfectly atop your head. You felt like a princess.

Betty helped zip up the dress Bernard had left for you, an elegant silver gown with a layered skirt, a tasteful slit up the leg, and off the shoulder sleeves, a layer of tule on top that was embellished with silver stars.

“You look stunning.” Carol complimented, resting her chin on your shoulder as the two of you admired your reflection.

“Thanks to you.” You tilted your head. “I’m still getting used to the hair, but…I think it looks nice like this.”

“Makes you look like a superhero.”

“I kinda feel like one, too.”

“Well you should. Scott told me everything that happened. I’m glad you were there to help.”

“I’m glad I was, too.” You said, pausing before asking, “So…theoretically speaking of course, is there a rule prohibiting the Aurora from…dating?”

Betty gasped, smiling. “I knew it! You and Bernard—”

“You and Bernard?”  Carol asked, interested. “I never would have guessed.”

“Never?”

“Well, maybe a little.” She admitted, pinching her fingers together. “Saving the world together is a very romantic first date.”

“So…I am allowed to…date him?” You asked, earning a giggle from Betty.

“There is nothing, to my knowledge, prohibiting either the Aurora or the Head Elf from falling in love,” she reported. “But I can check the handbook if you want me too.”

“That is good to know.” You tapped your temple, laughing a bit.

Downstairs, you could hear the music pick up and the three of you took that as your cue to join the festivities.

Soon, you were standing at the rail overlooking the Workshop floor, where Bernard was standing, chatting with Curtis, Santa, and some of the other elves. As soon as he caught sight of you, he froze, his glass of eggnog halfway to his mouth and eyes locked on you.

You smiled coyly and lifted the skirt of the gown, carefully navigating down the stairs. He ditched his glass on a cluttered table and met you at the foot of the stairs, taking your arm.

He swallowed thickly, admiring you for a long moment before murmuring, “You look beautiful, Aurora.”

“Thank you, Bernard.” You smiled, tucking your hair behind your ear. “You picked a great dress.”

“Would you like to dance?”

“I’d love to.” You nodded, letting him lead you over to where the rest of the elves were paired up, swaying to a slow song. Your arms settled around his neck as he tugged you closer, a hand on your waist, the other finding your free hand.

It was clear in seconds that he knew how to dance, as he expertly spun you out and then back into him with ease, his chest flush against yours, mouth right against your ear. It was one of those moments you were forced to remember he’d lived a hundred lifetimes. He carried them well; he always had.

When the music picked back up, he said, “Let’s go get some air.”

You nodded, letting him lead you back up the stairs to the railing, where a few stray elves were also hanging out, getting some space from the heat of the party. The two of you leaned against the metal, looking down over your new home.

You were quiet for a long while before finally asking the question that had been on your mind since early that morning, in an airplane in another timeline. “Did you know her? The other Aurora?”

He nodded, face serious. “I knew her, yeah. I wasn’t Head Elf at the time, only second in command. She and I were acquaintances, but she was nice.”

“Mmm.” You hummed.

Bernard reached over and touched your hand. “I much prefer what you and I have this time around.”

“And what is it you and I have?” You asked.

“I’m…not sure yet.” Bernard shook his head, tugging you ever so closer, a gentle hand on your waist. “But I do know that in all of my 1600 years, I’ve never felt like this before. Even before, when you left, when I thought I’d never see you again, I was waiting for the day our paths would cross. I wish it had been under better circumstances, but…”

“But, I’m glad you found me.” You interjected, taking another step forward and resting your head on his shoulder.

Bernard leaned in to kiss you, but stopped, noticing all the elves watching. However, when you pointed straight up at a bundle of glowing mistletoe, he knew there was only one thing he could do…

THREE MONTHS LATER

“Ladies, thank you so much for agreeing to meet here at the Pole.” Mother Nature smiled at each of you, seated at the large round table in your office, which was, coincidentally, right down the hall from Bernard’s office.

Around the table were yourself, Mother Nature, and the three other Guardian Spirits, Briar Flores, Amber Sanderson, and Evangeline Cho, each of you dressed for your respective season, but Briar was absolutely glowing, as though a halo of light was positioned just behind her head at all times.

“Thank you for having us, (Y/N).” Briar thanked, bowing her head. “My place is absolutely a mess at the moment. Bunny has paint on just about every surface in the building.”

“Any time, Briar. This place has been quiet since the elves started their break. Things should be getting started up again soon, though.”

“If you need any help saving Christmas this year, you let us know.” Amber chuckled.

“Knock on wood Christmas doesn’t need saving this year.” You laughed, knocking on the table.

“I am serious, though, as soon as Easter is over, we all need to get mimosas and brunch. There is this lovely little island that is just so flowery and perfect this time of year, you’d all love it.” Briar beamed.

The rest of you murmured and nodded in agreement, stopping only when Evangeline looked up at the doorway, biting back a grin.

You looked up to see Bernard standing there, a bouquet of snowdrops in his hand.

“Hello, Bernard. How can I help you?”

“Oh, Aurora, I didn’t mean to interrupt. The guys in foliage need a second opinion when you have a minute.”

“Right, of course.” You nodded, looking to Mother Nature.

“Meeting adjourned. I’ll see you all next month for a progress report.” She smiled, straightening up her papers. The rest of you all stood up from the table and began to exit the office.

Mother Nature rested a hand on your shoulder, glancing back at Bernard. “You look really happy here, (Y/N).”

“I am really happy here.”

“Good, I’m glad.” She gave your shoulder a squeeze. “I’ll see you next month.”

Once the others had scattered to the winds, Bernard walked into the office, closing the door behind him.

You quirked an eyebrow. “The guys in foliage, huh?”

“Partially. Partially just the Head Elf wanting to make sure his Aurora had something pretty to look at.” He whispered, an arm drawing you closer for a kiss that you gladly reciprocated.

“Your Aurora already has something pretty to look at.” You replied, a finger booping the end of his nose.

He shook his head, grinning. “Does the flirting never cease?” “Check in with me in a few hundred years.” You replied, setting the snowdrops in your vase before lacing your fingers through his, your other hand rising to rest on his arm as you walked out of the office and towards the large room you’d been using to train your powers. “Now, where were we with those lessons…?”

Tagged: @madameggroll, @capamericant, @midnightmisses, @five-hargreeves-apologist

[bigdvmnhero]

relationships: dick & tim

word count: 6,019

summary:

“I—” Tim recalibrated. Desperately, he scanned Dick’s face—his features blurred over, a wall of nothing; Tim chipped away: “You were a kid, who’ll blame a kid? They won’t hurt anyone again. If you want to, to, to talk to anyone—but it was a long time ago, you’re Nightwing now—”

Tuesday morning: a video was uploaded to one of the deep web black markets. The footage, shot on those grainy vintage camcorders. But Tim knew that boy in the thumbnail; his eyes had memorized him, the heft and shape and dazzle of him, imprinting like an afterimage.

Or: a brother is a witness; there's your tragedy.

::

The apartment had that new-in-town smell: mothballs and desperation. Boxes upon boxes were strewn on the floor. One of them had a dirty plate forgotten on top of it. Old pad thai grease. Armed to the teeth in his full Robin regalia, Tim felt vaguely underdressed in Dick’s kitchen—like there was a speech to do, and he was already forgetting the words.

“Did I lose you again?” Dick said, through a mouthful of his second demolished mango. He was eating them fatherless-style. Dick had been talking about—insurance, maybe. “What’s up?”

Across him, Tim straightened. “Nothing, just.” Mortified, thinking about how I almost spritzed myself with cologne before coming here. What was this, prom? Tim just needed this to go better than last time, was all.

Last time: Tim’s absolute trashfire of a Bludhaven visit; Dick’s rictus of a smile; Dick’s face going bloodless in the half-dark as Tim mentioned Bruce’s adoption offer, absolute god-tier cringe; why’d he do that? It was the same look Dick wore, that first time Tim brandished the original Robin suit from its glass case. Of course Dick disappeared then, all dark and brooding into the night, seeyanara, or never; Tim never could stomach a Never.

He wanted to tell Dick he was working hard to learn it, too—the Bat’s art of Sheer Presence. The way its silhouette inspired awe, stillness. That lately Dick spooked easy, like an animal trying not to be seen. That on nights Tim was almost catatonic with grief, his first half-formed thought was, I want my brother.

Tim said, “It’s not every day you eat scrambled mangoes in Richard Grayson’s apartment.”

“Ever since I saw one of our knife-throwers eat it like this, I always wanted to try it.” Dick picked up a comically large knife and bisected the mango, carving the hairy seed out, before scraping its insides silly. He handed one of the halves to Tim, anointing it with a too-big spoon. Where was this man’s cutlery? “It’s supposed to look like a bowl, then you can walk around eating like that. Neat, huh?”

“Guess so.” Tim accepted Dick’s mango concoction with a smile. Maybe a spoonful, to be polite. Watch and weep, Alfred. “You know, I always wanted to try eating a mango like an apple.”

“Well, we got two left,” Dick snorted, digging into the plastic bag. “Make your dreams come true?”

Do, please. Truth was, Tim daydreamed of it often—no capes, no mission, the solace of a brother only a nightmare-city away, and his quiet balcony. If Tim was lucky, a heart-to-heart. Namely, about the No Good, Very Bad Year he was having.

Same one he was sure Dick was going through now, if only Dick deigned to tell him anything.

“Let’s try it together,” Tim said, conspiratory. “Skin and everything. Sprinkle some seasoning. Alfred would call it… positively diabolical.”

“Oh, I’d move heaven and earth to see that look on that man’s face again.” Dick tipped the mango-bowl into his mouth, then licked his lips with sticky satisfaction. “God. This stuff is top-shelf. Which sunny, tropical island did you pick them from, Tim—the Philippines?”

“Just a freebie. From a grateful citizen.”

Wow, and he was starting to lie to Dick the way he lied to Bruce: with alarmingly little remorse!

The truth: Tim had seen the streetcam footage. Dick Grayson liked to linger longer than normal by that market stall on Hammerstone; stuff was always overpriced, but he stayed for the small talk, exchanging recipes and turning over spotted fruit, face soft with a small secret joy until some goon on busted tires screeched by, or the disembodied voice in his comm summoned him back into the fold—exit Richard Grayson, bereft of mangoes.

“A freebie, huh?” Dick said.

Tim shrugged. “Stopped a mugging on my way here.”

“‘Course you did.”

Tim looked up to see a secret smile on Dick’s face, the dimple deepening. Tim ducked his head—it was always intense when Dick did that, holding your eyes to wait for his words to land. When Dick pushed himself away from the table, Tim was glad to look without being seen.

The scrape on Dick’s elbow matched Batman’s data: Nightwing smashed himself free from a plexiglass wall when it came down on him; there was that wispy patch of petrified-looking hair near his left ear where the flames nearly singed his scalp off. Take a few drunk accidental teenage arsons, a rice cooker, and a wall outlet that hadn’t been maintained since the 80s, and you get a nice, toasty residential building that collapsed in forty minutes. With their training, Nightwing should’ve been in and out in five, tops.

Dick coughed as he groped inside the cupboard. Lung irritation, Tim noted. Possible airway inflammation. Shoddy haircut. Dick must’ve tried to trim the charred split ends. If Tim was there. If Tim had covered his blind spot. If Tim was someone Dick could count on from time to time, maybe.

Maybe.

If, if, if.

“Sorry, haven’t stocked the fridge yet,” Dick said. “Water fine?”

“Yep,” Tim says, popping the P, and looked at the carpet the moment Dick’s stagelight-eyes turned his way. His gaze had scanned Tim with that same cataloging sweep earlier. If Dick noticed the weight of Tim’s Mission, paling him like some kind of sepsis, he said nothing. Tim knew what Dick was trying to do. This polite distance, not quite cold, not quite warm, was a dead sea any man could drown in. Bruce currently was. Dick intended to leave Tim here too, in the rolling distance, where no eyes could follow. Fat fucking chance.

Watch me on the trapeze, Tim, said Dick from the memory; staring from a boy’s impish face; those torch-bright eyes, holding his frightened ones. I’m going to do my act—’specially for you. And Tim had watched. And Tim had never stopped, how could he ever stop?

“So, this friendly visit…” Dick slid him a chipped mug of water. “B asked you to check in, or is this gonna be a regular thing from now?”

“Naw, I was just,” Tim waved vaguely. “around.”

“And you got free mangoes.”

Tim sipped. “Thought I’d share my spoils of war.”

The cold hard truth: Tim needed a reason to see his brother now. A work reason. No one wasted Nightwing’s time. While dodging stilted dinners at the manor and Bruce’s guilt-marred face, Tim had spent the better part of his days turning the adoption offer in his head, plugging a fake uncle into his stage-life, not calling Dick, and tracking transactions in the deep web black markets. He had a lead to a CP ring tied to Gotham’s cluster of orphanages—just more children slipping through Her fingers, with no one to come looking. But Tim was looking now. Ten years too late, maybe, but looking all the same.

Bless Barbara and her detailed surveillance notes. He’d set up the alert as instructed and lost himself in the Styx waters of rote work, wading deep, the world submerged into the dull clack of fingers on a keyboard.

Tuesday morning, a new video was uploaded—the price tag: half a million in crypto.

The preview was fifteen seconds long. The footage, cast in near-darkness, had grain matching those recorded on a point-and-shoot that hadn’t been in the market for at least eight years. JVC VHS-C Camcorder, that was how old it was. But Tim knew that figure in the thumbnail. Canary-yellow cape, bloodied knees and pixie boots. A costume for someone ten apples tall.

Only one Robin was fighting against the affliction that was Gotham in single digits. And Tim would know him; his eyes had memorized him, the heft and shape and dazzle of him, imprinting like an afterimage.

Watch me on the trapeze, Tim.

“Get a visual,” was all Batman said, when he called an hour before. This was a case he didn’t think Batman was even supposed to know about, but Tim didn’t press; that voice, floundering in the undercurrent, was all Bruce. “I’ll take care of things here.”

Lung irritation, Tim thought. Grainy footage. Bruce’s cryptic-as-hell phone call. Charred split ends. Nightwing’s casual suicidal patrols? Yeah, Tim was going to dry-heave across Dick’s apartment floor; the inside of his mouth was all sour, like something gone bad overnight. Dick knew about the leak, but not that Batman and his underperforming Robin were on the case, too. Tim was gonna have to do it again—like his first day at the Cave, digging up the memory of Dick’s ghosts, not letting the damn dead stay dead.

Dick threw a hand towel at Tim’s face with a laugh. “Wipe your mouth, Timmy.”

Nicknames, huh.

If Dick hated him, he was hiding it well. Like a child, Tim obediently cleaned the pulp from his mouth. Then, like a coward: “Could I—bathroom?”

read the rest on ao3

[hookhausenschips]

Between The Lines {LN4}

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Summary: Y/N, a 23-year-old woman from the Bahamas, reunites with her brother and his racing friends, including Lando Norris, who has always harbored feelings for her despite their complicated past. As they navigate the tension, secrecy, and the allure of forbidden love, Y/N and Lando must decide whether to confront their emotions or continue living between the lines of what could be.

WC: 8k (she’s a long one)

Requested? Yes/No

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Warnings: angst, toxic relationship, jealousy, sexual tension, strong language, allusions of smut

you DO NOT have my permission to copy my work, upload as your own, translate, or repost on any other website •

Y/N’s POV

The sun was setting as I stepped out of the airport and into the warm embrace of the Portuguese breeze. It carried with it the scent of the ocean, the kind that instantly reminded me of home—the Bahamas. As much as I loved my life in California, there was something about being by the water that grounded me, like I was reconnecting with a part of myself I’d left behind. My curls danced in the wind as I walked towards the taxi stand, my suitcase rolling along behind me.

The drive to our family’s vacation home was a familiar one. Even though it had been years since I’d last been here, I knew every twist and turn of the road by heart. The white-washed walls of the house came into view, nestled against the cliffs that overlooked the Atlantic. It was a place full of memories, of laughter and late-night conversations, of sun-soaked days and quiet moments under the stars. But as much as I loved this place, there was a heaviness in my chest that I couldn’t quite shake.

I had come here to prepare the house for my friends, to create a space where we could all unwind and enjoy each other’s company. But the moment I stepped inside, I knew this trip wasn’t going to be just about catching up with old friends. This was about revisiting the past—whether I was ready for it or not.

I ran my fingers over the cool marble countertop in the kitchen, taking in the familiar sights and smells of the house. Everything looked just as it did when I was last here, though a bit more worn with time. The white curtains fluttered in the breeze, and the scent of fresh lemons from the trees outside wafted through the open windows.

“This place hasn’t changed a bit,” I murmured to myself, smiling at the nostalgia that wrapped around me like a warm blanket.

But as much as I wanted to lose myself in the peacefulness of the house, I couldn’t help but think about what was coming. My brother, Keylon, had mentioned he’d be stopping by with some of his friends before heading back to the UK. I hadn’t seen him in years, not since I had left to pursue my career and school. And with him, Lando Norris and Max Fewtrell would be here too. I couldn’t help the way my heart skipped a beat at the thought of Lando. 

Lando and I had always shared a unique connection, one that lingered in the background of our interactions. When I visited Keylon in the UK, Lando was always there, and I couldn’t ignore the way he looked at me—like I was something more than just his best friend’s little sister. His crush on me was obvious, but we never acted on it. Timing, distance, and life had always gotten in the way. And then years passed without a word.

Now, we were about to be in the same place again. The thought sent a shiver down my spine, a mix of anticipation and nerves. I wondered if he had changed, if he still felt the same way. Or if we’d simply drifted too far apart.

As I unpacked my suitcase and started setting up the house for my friends, I let my thoughts drift back to those times in the UK. The nights when Lando and I would sit on the porch, talking about everything and nothing, with his quiet admiration always lingering just beneath the surface. I wondered what it would be like to see him again after all these years.

The sound of a car pulling into the driveway snapped me out of my thoughts. My heart rate quickened as I walked to the front door, anticipation bubbling up inside me. I opened the door just as Keylon stepped out of the car, his familiar grin lighting up his face.

"Y/N!" he called out, his voice filled with excitement as he rushed over to give me a bear hug. "It's been too long, sis!"

I laughed as I hugged him back, the years melting away in that moment. "It really has, Key. You haven't changed a bit."

"Neither have you," he replied, pulling back to look at me. "Still the same little sister I remember, just as stubborn and beautiful as ever."

I rolled my eyes playfully. "Flattery will get you nowhere. But thanks, I guess."

Before I could say more, my eyes drifted over Keylon’s shoulder, landing on the figure emerging from the other side of the car. And there he was—Lando Norris. My breath caught in my throat for a second. He looked different, more mature, more confident. But his eyes, those bright blue eyes that had always seemed to see right through me, were the same.

"Y/N," Lando greeted me, his voice deeper than I remembered, but still carrying that same warmth.

"Lando," I replied, trying to keep my tone casual even though my heart was pounding in my chest. "Long time no see."

"Yeah, it has been," he said, and for a moment, something passed between us—an unspoken acknowledgment of the years that had separated us and the connection that still lingered.

Max appeared next, a broad grin on his face as he gave me a quick hug. "Y/N, it’s good to see you! This place is amazing as always."

I smiled at Max, grateful for his easygoing nature that helped break the tension. "It’s good to see you too, Max. Glad you like it."

As we all stood there, the air around us was thick with nostalgia and something more—something electric that neither Lando nor I seemed ready to confront just yet.

"Come on, let’s get inside," Keylon said, slinging an arm around my shoulder. "I’m starving, and I’m sure you’ve got some of that famous Bahamian food waiting for us."

I chuckled, grateful for the distraction. "Of course, Key. I wouldn’t let you starve on my watch."

But as we headed inside, I couldn’t shake the feeling that this trip was going to be more complicated than I’d anticipated. The past had a way of creeping back in when you least expected it, and with Lando here, I had a feeling it was going to hit me full force.

I spent the next hour trying to focus on the tasks at hand—unpacking, arranging towels, making sure the kitchen was stocked. But my mind kept drifting back to the earlier reunion with Keylon and Lando. The air between us was thick with unspoken words, and I couldn’t quite shake the feeling that something had shifted. 

As I fluffed the last pillow on the couch, I heard the front door open, followed by the sound of familiar laughter. Keylon’s deep voice echoed through the hallway as he called out, “Y/N! We’re here!”

I took a deep breath and turned, just in time to see him bounding into the living room with Lando and Max in tow. They brought with them the energy of old times, and suddenly, it felt like we were back in those carefree days when we were all just a bunch of kids with no real worries. But now, there was an undercurrent of tension, one that I wasn’t sure how to navigate.

“Hey, sis!” Keylon grinned, his arms full of grocery bags. “Figured we’d help stock up on some essentials.”

I smiled, grateful for the gesture. “Thanks, Key. You know me too well.”

Lando stepped forward, offering a small smile that made my heart do that stupid flip again. “We picked up some snacks too. Figured we’d be needing them.”

I raised an eyebrow, trying to keep things light. “Snacks, huh? You’re still obsessed with those terrible gummy worms, aren’t you?”

His smile widened, a flash of the boy I remembered. “What can I say? Some things never change.”

Max chimed in, holding up a bottle of wine. “And I got this. Because, you know, we’re adults now, and adults drink wine.”

I laughed, grateful for Max’s easy humor. “Classy, Max. I’ll make sure to break out the good glasses for that.”

As they settled in, I found myself watching Lando out of the corner of my eye. He seemed more at ease now, joking with Keylon and Max as they unpacked the groceries. But every so often, I’d catch him glancing in my direction, his gaze lingering just a moment too long before he looked away.

“So,” Keylon said, breaking the comfortable silence that had settled over us. “We’ve got the whole crew coming in tomorrow. You ready for the madness, Y/N?”

I chuckled, though the idea of a full house made me a little nervous. “I’m as ready as I’ll ever be. Who all is coming, again?”

As the conversation flowed, Keylon rattled off the list of names of people who would be arriving tomorrow. “Keegan, Ed, Tom, and Martin Garrix,” he said, ticking them off on his fingers. “Plus, Max’s girlfriend, Pietra, and Lando’s PR girlfriend, Magui.”

Lando, who had been quietly listening, suddenly nudged Keylon with his elbow, a sharp yet playful jab. "Keylon, seriously?" he muttered, giving him a pointed look.

Keylon blinked, looking confused for a moment before realization dawned. “What? It’s true, isn’t it?” he responded with a mischievous grin. “I mean, that’s pretty much what she is, right?”

Lando sighed, shaking his head, though there was a small, almost embarrassed smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “You could’ve just said girlfriend, you know,” he mumbled under his breath.

I watched the exchange with amusement, unable to resist a chuckle. The playful dynamic between the two of them was something I’d always loved. Despite the years and the fame that had come between them, some things hadn’t changed.

“Don’t worry, Lando,” I teased, trying to ease the tension. “I’m sure she’s more than just your PR girlfriend.”

Lando shot me a grateful look, but I noticed the way his shoulders seemed to relax just a bit. “Thanks, Y/N,” he said, his tone lighter now. “But Keylon’s always been terrible with labels.”

Keylon rolled his eyes dramatically. “You know I’m just messing with you, man. But seriously, she’ll be here tomorrow, so you’d better be ready to play the perfect boyfriend.”

Lando let out a low groan, but there was a spark of humor in his eyes. “Yeah, yeah. I’ll be ready.” But as he glanced at me, I couldn’t help but wonder if there was more to his reluctance than just the teasing.

The mention of Magui’s name sent a tiny jolt through me, but I kept my expression neutral. “Right. Sounds like a full house.”

Max shot me a teasing grin. “Don’t worry, Y/N. We’ll keep the chaos to a minimum.”

“Yeah, right,” I replied with a smirk. “I know better than to trust you guys when it comes to that.”

As we settled into the evening, the house began to fill with the sounds of laughter and the familiar banter between old friends. Keylon and Max were quick to launch into stories about their racing adventures, their voices overlapping as they competed to see who could tell the wildest tale.

I found myself drifting toward the kitchen, needing a moment to breathe. The sight of Lando laughing with my brother warmed my heart, but it also stirred something deeper, something I wasn’t quite ready to face. I busied myself with preparing a quick snack, chopping vegetables and arranging them on a plate, trying to focus on the mundane task.

But I wasn’t alone for long. The sound of footsteps behind me made me pause, and I turned to find Lando leaning against the doorway, his arms crossed over his chest as he watched me.

“Need some help?” he offered, his voice softer now that we were alone.

I smiled, though my heart was racing. “Sure. You can chop the tomatoes.”

He moved to the counter beside me, and for a few moments, we worked in companionable silence. The tension between us hadn’t disappeared, but it felt less heavy now, more like a comfortable weight that we were both learning to carry.

“So,” he said after a while, his tone casual. “How’s life been treating you?”

I shrugged, trying to keep my voice light. “Busy. Work is… intense, but I love it.”

“Firefighter and EMS, right?” he asked, his brow furrowing as he glanced at me. “That’s… that’s incredible, Y/N. Seriously.”

His genuine admiration made me smile. “Thanks, Lando. It’s not always easy, but it’s worth it.”

He nodded, his expression thoughtful. “I can’t imagine doing something like that. But I’m glad you found something you’re passionate about.”

“What about you?” I asked, turning the conversation back to him. “How’s everything with the racing world?”

He hesitated for a moment, then shrugged. “It’s… good. Busy, as always. But sometimes I miss the simpler times, you know?”

I looked at him, really looked at him, and saw the flicker of something in his eyes—something vulnerable. “Yeah, I get that. Life has a way of getting complicated, doesn’t it?”

He met my gaze, and for a moment, it felt like we were the only two people in the world. “It does. But sometimes, it’s nice to remember the good things, too.”

The unspoken words hung between us, and I felt my breath catch. There was so much we weren’t saying, so much that needed to be said. But before I could find the courage to speak, Keylon’s voice echoed from the living room.

“Y/N, Lando! Get in here! We’re about to start the movie!”

I blinked, the moment broken, and forced a smile. “Guess that’s our cue.”

Lando gave a small nod, but his eyes lingered on mine for just a second longer before he turned away. We headed back into the living room, where the others were already sprawled across the couches, the TV flickering as Keylon scrolled through the movie options.

As I settled into my seat, I couldn’t help but glance at Lando, who sat across the room. Our eyes met briefly, and for the first time in years, I wondered what it would be like to let go of the past and embrace whatever was happening between us. But that was a thought for another time. For now, I would enjoy the reunion, the laughter, and the memories, even as the tension simmered beneath the surface.

The following days were a blur of laughter, music, and memories. The house, once quiet, now buzzed with the energy of everyone arriving. Keegan, Ed, and Tom showed up first, quickly turning the living room into a chaotic mess of luggage and snacks. Martin Garrix arrived soon after, bringing with him a playlist of tunes that kept the party vibe alive. Pietra, Max’s girlfriend, fit right in, her infectious smile and friendly nature making her an instant hit with everyone.

And then there was Magui.

She arrived late in the evening, her presence immediately commanding attention. Tall, stunning, and perfectly put together, she walked into the house like she owned it, greeting everyone with a dazzling smile. But when her gaze landed on me, I felt a subtle shift in the air. The warmth she had shown the others cooled slightly, and her smile didn’t quite reach her eyes as she said, “You must be Y/N. Lando’s told me so much about you.”

I forced a smile, sensing the underlying tension. “Nice to meet you, Magui. Welcome to our home.”

She nodded, her expression polite but distant, before turning her attention back to Lando, who had come to greet her. I watched as he wrapped an arm around her waist, leaning in to give her a quick kiss. But even then, his eyes seemed to flicker toward me, just for a second, as if checking my reaction.

It didn’t take long for Magui to make her presence felt. Throughout the evening, she stayed close to Lando, always positioning herself beside him, touching his arm, his shoulder, making it clear to everyone that he was hers. And Lando, for his part, played the role of the attentive boyfriend, though I couldn’t help but notice the tension in his posture, the way his smiles seemed just a bit forced.

The days were a whirlwind of activities—exploring the nearby town, lounging on the beach, late-night barbecues, and impromptu dance sessions in the living room. There was no shortage of fun, but underneath it all, I could feel the undercurrents of unspoken emotions.

Lando, in particular, seemed to struggle. Whenever Martin Garrix or Keegan would sidle up next to me, their flirtatious banter turning up a notch, I noticed the way Lando’s jaw would clench. His eyes would follow us, and though he never said anything, his quiet, simmering jealousy was palpable. 

One evening, after a long day at the beach, we all gathered around the outdoor fire pit, roasting marshmallows and sipping on cocktails. Keegan, ever the charmer, slid onto the bench beside me, his arm casually draping over the backrest.

“So, Y/N,” Keegan began, his voice playful as he leaned in a little closer. “Tell me, how is it that a beautiful woman like you is still single? Or are you just hiding your boyfriend somewhere?”

I laughed, shaking my head. “No boyfriend, Keegan. Just focused on work, I guess.”

“Ah, work. Always getting in the way of fun,” he replied with a grin, his eyes twinkling in the firelight. “Maybe we can change that while you’re here.”

Before I could respond, I noticed Lando stiffen across the fire pit, his gaze fixed on Keegan’s arm resting behind me. Magui, sitting beside him, seemed oblivious to the tension, chatting away with Pietra about some event they’d attended recently.

Martin, who was seated on my other side, chimed in with a chuckle. “Careful, Keegan. Y/N’s got a lot of admirers. You might have some competition.”

Lando’s expression darkened just slightly, and I caught the flicker of frustration in his eyes. He leaned forward, interrupting the conversation. “Y/N’s too smart to fall for your cheesy lines, Keegan.”

Keegan smirked, unfazed. “Maybe, but there’s no harm in trying, right?”

I rolled my eyes playfully, trying to defuse the situation. “Okay, boys, calm down. We’re here to have fun, remember?”

But despite my efforts, the tension lingered, and I couldn’t ignore the way Lando’s gaze kept drifting toward me, a mixture of jealousy and something deeper in his eyes.

As the evening wore on, Magui’s subtle hostility toward me became more apparent. Every time I tried to engage with Lando, she would swoop in, steering the conversation back to herself or pulling him away with some excuse. It was clear that she wasn’t comfortable with my presence, and I couldn’t blame her. After all, the history between Lando and me was something she could sense, even if she didn’t know the full story.

One night, after another long day of exploring and socializing, I found myself alone in the kitchen, cleaning up after dinner. I was lost in thought when I heard footsteps behind me. Turning around, I saw Magui standing in the doorway, her arms crossed over her chest.

“Hey,” I greeted her, trying to keep my tone neutral. “Need something?”

She gave me a tight smile. “No, just wanted to talk. You and Lando… you go way back, huh?”

I nodded, sensing where this was going. “Yeah, we’ve known each other for a long time. Through my brother.”

Magui’s eyes narrowed slightly. “I figured as much. He talks about you sometimes. Fondly, of course.”

I set down the dish I was holding, meeting her gaze directly. “Look, Magui, I’m not trying to cause any problems. I’m just here to spend time with my brother and our friends.”

She studied me for a moment, her expression unreadable. “I’m not worried, Y/N. Lando and I have something real. But I just wanted to make sure we’re clear on that.”

I smiled, though it didn’t quite reach my eyes. “Crystal clear.”

She nodded, her smile returning as if the conversation had never happened. “Great. Enjoy the rest of your evening.”

As she left the kitchen, I let out a slow breath, feeling the weight of her words settle over me. It was clear that whatever was happening between Lando and me wasn’t going unnoticed. And if I wasn’t careful, things could get messy. Very messy.

The tension between Lando and Magui only grew over the next few days. I noticed the little things—how they’d bicker over small details, how Magui would criticize Lando’s behavior around me, and how Lando’s patience seemed to be wearing thin. It was like watching a slow-burning fuse, and I knew it was only a matter of time before it exploded.

It was late, well past midnight, and the house had finally quieted down. After another long day of adventures and late-night antics, everyone had drifted off to bed, leaving the house in peaceful silence. But I couldn’t sleep. My mind was too restless, swirling with everything that had happened over the past few days—the tension with Magui, Lando’s simmering jealousy, the unspoken feelings between us that seemed to grow stronger with each passing moment.

I slipped out of my room and made my way to the pool, hoping the cool night air would help clear my head. The water shimmered under the starlight, and the gentle sound of the waves crashing against the shore in the distance created a soothing background noise. I sat down at the edge of the pool, dipping my feet into the water, and stared up at the stars, letting my thoughts drift.

It wasn’t long before I heard the soft sound of footsteps behind me. I didn’t have to turn around to know who it was. I could feel his presence even before he spoke.

“Can’t sleep either?” Lando’s voice was low, almost a whisper, as he came to stand beside me.

I glanced up at him and shook my head. “No. Just… too much on my mind, I guess.”

He nodded, understanding flickering in his eyes as he took a seat beside me, dipping his feet into the pool as well. We sat in silence for a few moments, the only sounds being the gentle ripples of the water and the distant waves.

“There’s a lot going on, huh?” he finally said, breaking the silence. His voice was soft, almost hesitant, as if he was afraid of saying too much.

“Yeah,” I replied quietly, my eyes still fixed on the stars. “More than I expected.”

Lando let out a slow breath, his gaze focused on the water in front of him. “I’m sorry about Magui,” he said after a pause. “She can be… intense. I know she hasn’t exactly been welcoming.”

“It’s not your fault,” I said, though the tension between us was impossible to ignore. “I get it. I’m… I’m the past, and she’s your present. It makes sense that she’s protective.”

Lando looked at me then, his eyes searching mine. “Y/N, it’s not that simple.”

I nodded, still staring at the stars, trying to keep my emotions in check. I turned to face him, finally allowing myself to ask the question that had been weighing on me for days. "Lando, this... this thing between us, it's complicated. You’re with Magui, and she’s—"

Lando cut me off with a sigh, rubbing the back of his neck as if he was about to say something that had been weighing on him for a while. “Y/N, there’s something you should know about Magui and me. Our relationship... it’s not what it seems.”

I turned to look at him, confusion knitting my brows. "What do you mean? You’re together. She’s your girlfriend."

Lando hesitated, his eyes darting away from mine as if he wasn’t sure how to explain. “Magui and I… it’s not real. I mean, we’re together for the cameras, for the press. It’s a PR relationship—a publicity stunt to boost both of our images.”

I blinked, taken aback. “Wait, what? Keylon wasn’t actually joking? So, you’re not actually...?”

He shook his head, looking almost relieved to finally be telling someone the truth. “No. We’re not in love, we’re not really dating. It’s all for show. The media eats it up, and it helps both of our careers. But behind the scenes... there’s nothing there.”

I stared at him, trying to process what he was saying. “So, all this time... you’ve been pretending?”

Lando nodded, his expression serious. “Yeah. It was easier that way. No complications, no distractions. Just focusing on racing and keeping up appearances. But seeing you again… it’s made me realize that I can’t keep pretending. Not anymore.”

I let out a breath I didn’t realize I’d been holding, the weight of his confession sinking in. “Lando, that’s... a lot to take in.”

“I know,” he said quietly, his gaze locked on mine. “And I’m sorry. I should’ve told you sooner, but... it’s complicated. Everything’s complicated.”

My mind raced as I tried to make sense of it all. Part of me felt relieved—relieved that Magui wasn’t the deep, meaningful relationship I’d feared. But another part of me felt conflicted, knowing that even if their relationship wasn’t real, it still carried the weight of the public eye, of the world watching every move he made.

“You’re not worried about what happens if people find out?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

Lando shrugged, a hint of resignation in his expression. “It’s crossed my mind, to be happy when I'm not. Pretending that what I really want isn't standing right in front of me."

His words hung in the air, heavy with truth and vulnerability. I could see the conflict in his eyes, the way he was struggling between what was expected of him and what he truly felt. My heart ached for him, knowing how difficult it must be to live under that kind of pressure, to put on a show for the world while burying his own feelings.

I swallowed hard, the air between us thick with tension. “And Magui?”

Lando ran a hand through his hair, looking conflicted. “She’s… she’s great. Really. But…” He trailed off, his eyes searching mine as if looking for answers.

“But what, Lando?” I pressed gently, needing to know where we stood. “What do you want?”

For a long moment, he didn’t answer. He just looked at me, his eyes filled with a mix of emotions that I couldn’t quite decipher. Then, without warning, he reached out and took my hand, his touch sending a jolt of electricity through me.

“I don’t know if this is right,” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. “But I can’t stop thinking about you. About us. About what could have been… and what might still be.”

My heart pounded in my chest as I looked into his eyes, torn between what I knew was right and what my heart was screaming at me to do. I could feel the pull between us, the undeniable chemistry that had always been there, simmering beneath the surface.

“Lando…” I began, but he cut me off, his voice urgent.

“Y/N, I’ve tried to move on. I’ve tried to be with someone else, to build something new. But every time I’m with her, I think of you. I think of what we had… what we could have. And I don’t know if I can keep pretending anymore.”

His words hung in the air, heavy with emotion, and I felt my resolve weakening. This was dangerous, and we both knew it. But in that moment, with the stars shining above us and the world quiet around us, it felt like the only thing that mattered was the two of us.

Without thinking, I leaned in, closing the distance between us. The moment our lips met, it was like a spark ignited, a fire that had been smoldering for years finally bursting into flames. The kiss was desperate, filled with all the pent-up emotion and longing that we’d been holding back.

Lando’s hands found their way to my waist, pulling me closer as the kiss deepened. My fingers tangled in his hair, and for a moment, it was like nothing else in the world existed but the two of us. The cool night air, the distant waves, the stars above—they all faded away, leaving only the heat between us.

We broke apart for a breath, our foreheads resting against each other as we tried to catch our breath. “This is crazy,” I whispered, though I couldn’t bring myself to pull away.

“Maybe,” Lando murmured, his voice rough with emotion. “But it feels right.”

The tension, the desire, the years of unresolved feelings—it all came crashing down on us, and suddenly, the consequences didn’t matter. Not the fact that he had a girlfriend sleeping inside, not the fact that this could ruin everything. All that mattered was that we were here, together, and we couldn’t stop ourselves.

Before I knew it, we were kissing again, more urgently this time, our hands roaming as we lost ourselves in the moment. The world fell away, and all that was left was us—the feel of his lips on mine, the way his touch sent shivers down my spine, the undeniable connection that had always been there.

When we finally pulled apart, breathless and overwhelmed, reality came crashing back. We were still by the pool, still in the middle of a situation that could have serious consequences. I could see the regret flickering in Lando’s eyes, but also something else—something that told me he wasn’t ready to let this go.

“Y/N…” he began, but I shook my head, placing a finger to his lips.

“Don’t,” I whispered. “Not tonight.”

We sat in silence for a few moments, the weight of what had just happened settling over us. There were so many things left unsaid, so many questions that still needed answers. But for now, we both knew that this wasn’t the time to face them. There would be consequences to deal with, choices to make, but they would have to wait until morning.

For now, we just sat there by the pool, the night wrapping around us like a blanket, both of us lost in our own thoughts. The passion of the moment had passed, but the connection between us remained, stronger than ever. And as we sat there in the quiet, I couldn’t help but wonder—what would come next?

The next morning, everything felt heavier. The sunlight streaming through the windows seemed too bright, almost accusatory, as if it knew what had happened the night before. My stomach churned with unease as I went about my morning routine, replaying everything over and over in my mind. What had I done? What had we done?

The house was lively, filled with the usual banter and laughter, but I felt disconnected, like an outsider observing from a distance. At breakfast, I sat quietly, picking at my food while the others chattered away. Magui was seated next to Lando, her hand casually resting on his arm as she talked to Keegan. The sight made my chest tighten, guilt gnawing at me. I couldn’t look at her without feeling like I had betrayed some unspoken rule, even though I knew the truth about her and Lando’s relationship.

Lando caught my eye from across the table, his expression serious and searching, but I quickly looked away, unable to meet his gaze. I didn’t want to confront the emotions swirling inside me, didn’t want to acknowledge the turmoil we’d unleashed.

After breakfast, I found an excuse to slip away, retreating to the quiet of the beach. The rhythmic crash of the waves provided some solace, but it couldn’t drown out the thoughts racing in my head. I felt torn in so many directions—caught between what I wanted, what I feared, and what I knew was right.

“Y/N.”

His voice, soft yet urgent, made me freeze. I didn’t turn around. I knew who it was, and I knew what he wanted to talk about. But I wasn’t ready.

“Can we talk?” Lando’s footsteps crunched in the sand as he approached, but I stayed where I was, staring out at the horizon as if it held all the answers.

“What’s there to talk about?” I asked, my voice quieter than I intended.

“Last night,” he said simply. “We need to figure out what happens next.”

I finally turned to face him, and the look in his eyes—so earnest, so determined—made my heart ache. “Lando, last night... it was a mistake.”

He frowned, stepping closer. “A mistake? You don’t mean that.”

“I do,” I insisted, wrapping my arms around myself defensively. “We got caught up in the moment, but it doesn’t change anything. You’re still Lando Norris—famous, in the spotlight—and I’m... well, I’m just me. This world, your world... it’s not mine.”

His frustration was palpable, his hands clenching into fists at his sides. “Y/N, stop running away from this. From us. You know last night meant something—it wasn’t just a mistake. Don’t try to brush it off like that.”

“I’m not running,” I lied, taking a step back from him. “I’m being realistic. This... whatever this is between us, it can’t work. It’s too complicated, and I don’t want to be the reason things get messy for you.”

“Things are already messy,” he countered, his voice rising slightly. “But I don’t care, Y/N. I don’t care about the complications or the risks. I care about you.”

His words hit me hard, and for a moment, I almost let myself believe him. But the fear, the doubt, was stronger. “Lando, you have a life—a career, a public image to maintain. I’m just a distraction.”

“You’re not a distraction!” he said fiercely, reaching for my hand, but I pulled away before he could touch me. The hurt in his eyes was clear, but I couldn’t let myself get caught up in it.

“I can’t do this,” I whispered, shaking my head. “I won’t be the one to complicate your life even more.”

“Y/N, don’t push me away,” he pleaded, taking another step toward me. “I’m not letting you go that easily.”

“Maybe you should,” I shot back, my voice cracking with the effort to hold back tears. “Maybe it’s better for both of us if we just... forget about last night.”

“I can’t forget it,” he said quietly, his tone filled with a desperate honesty. “And neither can you.”

His words hung in the air, and for a moment, all I could hear was the sound of the waves crashing against the shore. He was right. I couldn’t forget. But that didn’t mean I was ready to face the consequences either.

“I need time,” I finally said, my voice trembling. “Time to figure out what this all means.”

Lando looked at me, his eyes filled with a mix of determination and frustration, but he nodded slowly. “Okay. I’ll give you time. But I’m not giving up on this—on us.”

I didn’t respond. I couldn’t. Instead, I turned away and walked down the beach, putting distance between us. Lando didn’t follow, but I could feel his gaze on me, filled with all the things left unsaid.

As I walked, the uncertainty gnawed at me, but one thing was clear—I wasn’t ready to give in to whatever was between us. Not yet. Maybe not ever.

For now, all I could do was keep running.

The days that followed were tense, filled with an unspoken tension that lingered in every interaction. Lando kept his distance, respecting my need for space, but I could feel his eyes on me whenever we were in the same room. It was as if he was waiting for the right moment, waiting for me to stop running.

I spent most of my time avoiding everyone, especially Lando. When the group went out, I stayed behind, claiming I needed rest or had work to catch up on. But the truth was, I didn’t know how to face him—or myself—after everything that had happened. I was caught in a web of my own fears, struggling to untangle the threads of what I felt and what I knew was right.

That night, after days of avoiding everyone and drowning in my own thoughts, I decided to join the group. Maybe it was the loneliness finally getting to me, or maybe I just needed a distraction from the whirlwind of emotions that had consumed me. Whatever it was, I found myself standing in front of the mirror, trying to remember what it felt like to let go and just have fun.

I chose a deep emerald-green dress that hugged my curves in all the right places. The satin fabric shimmered under the soft light of my room, falling just above my knees with a thigh-high slit that added an extra edge to the look. The plunging neckline made a statement, and I decided to forgo any jewelry, letting the simplicity of the dress speak for itself.

My hair was styled in soft locs that cascaded down my back and shoulders, the natural texture adding an effortless elegance to the look. I’d taken the time to weave a few gold accents through the locs, catching the light as I moved and adding a subtle sparkle to the overall style. The locs framed my face perfectly, enhancing the smoky eye makeup that gave my gaze a mysterious allure.

Taking one last look in the mirror, I gave myself a nod. I looked good, and for the first time in a while, I felt good too. Tonight, I wasn’t going to let anything—or anyone—bring me down.

When I walked into the living area where everyone was gathered, the conversations died down, and all eyes turned toward me. Keegan was the first to break the silence with a low whistle, his grin wide and mischievous. “Damn, Y/N! You’re killing it tonight.”

Martin quickly followed with his own whistle, nudging Keegan playfully. “She’s been holding out on us, mate. Didn’t know you had it in you, Y/N.”

I laughed, shaking my head at their antics. “You two are ridiculous.”

But it was Lando’s reaction that caught my attention. He stood frozen in place, his eyes locked on me as if he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. There was a mix of emotions playing across his face—surprise, admiration, and something deeper that made my heart skip a beat. For a moment, the world around us seemed to fade away, and it was just the two of us, locked in that intense gaze.

Magui, who had been standing next to Lando, didn’t miss the exchange. Her eyes narrowed as she glanced between us, her grip tightening on Lando’s arm. She quickly masked her irritation with a forced smile, but the bitterness in her voice was unmistakable. “Well, isn’t this a surprise? I didn’t think you’d make it out tonight, Y/N. I suppose it’s good you’re finally joining the fun.”

Her words were laced with sarcasm, and the tension between us crackled in the air. I met her gaze, refusing to back down. “Yeah, I figured it was time to stop hiding and enjoy the night.”

She smirked, tilting her head slightly. “Well, let’s hope you can keep up.”

Before I could respond, Lando finally snapped out of his trance and cleared his throat. “You look amazing, Y/N,” he said, his voice a little too soft, a little too sincere, causing Magui’s glare to sharpen.

“Thanks, Lando,” I replied, giving him a small smile before turning my attention back to the group. “So, are we heading out or what?”

The others quickly rallied, eager to start the night, but the tension lingered in the air. As we made our way out of the house, I couldn’t shake the feeling that this night was going to change everything, one way or another. And as Lando’s gaze lingered on me, even as Magui tried to pull him closer, I knew he felt it too.

The club was a blur of flashing lights, pulsing music, and bodies moving to the rhythm. It was loud, chaotic, and exactly what I needed to drown out the noise in my head. I let myself get lost in the atmosphere, dancing with Keegan and Martin, laughing at their jokes, and trying to push away the tension that had followed us from the house.

But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t escape the weight of Lando’s gaze. Even in the crowded room, I could feel him watching me. Every time I turned around, he was there—across the bar, on the edge of the dance floor, always close but never approaching. It was as if he was waiting for the right moment, waiting for me to let my guard down.

Magui, on the other hand, wasn’t nearly as subtle. She stayed glued to Lando’s side, her possessive grip on his arm a clear message to anyone who dared to come too close. She danced with him, whispered in his ear, and made sure everyone knew they were together. But it was all so forced, so obviously a performance, that it only added to the tension between them.

At one point, I caught Magui glaring at me from across the room, her eyes full of thinly veiled contempt. She leaned in to say something to Lando, her voice low but her expression unmistakable. He nodded distractedly, his gaze still flicking over to me every few moments. Whatever she said didn’t seem to have the intended effect, because his attention never wavered.

After a while, I needed a break from the dancing, so I made my way to the bar to grab a drink. As I waited for the bartender, I felt someone approach. I turned, half expecting it to be one of the guys, but instead, it was Lando. His presence was electrifying, sending a shiver down my spine.

“Hey,” he said, his voice barely audible over the music. He leaned in closer so I could hear him. “You okay?”

I nodded, taking a sip of my drink to steady my nerves. “Yeah, just needed a breather.”

He studied me for a moment, his eyes searching mine. “You look amazing tonight, Y/N. I mean, you always do, but tonight...”

“Thanks,” I replied, my voice soft, feeling a flutter in my chest. His compliment was sincere, and it only made everything more complicated. “You clean up pretty well yourself.”

He chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. “I try.”

We stood there for a moment, the silence between us charged with unspoken words. It felt like there was so much to say, but neither of us knew where to start.

Before I could think of anything to break the tension, Magui appeared at Lando’s side, her smile tight as she slipped her arm through his. “Lando, babe, let’s go dance. We’ve barely had any time together tonight.”

Her voice was sweet, but the look she shot me was anything but. It was clear she wasn’t thrilled about Lando and me talking, and she was making sure I knew it.

Lando hesitated, his eyes lingering on me for a moment before he nodded. “Yeah, sure.”

As they walked away, I couldn’t help but feel a pang of something—jealousy, frustration, regret? I wasn’t sure. All I knew was that no matter how hard I tried to distance myself, Lando had a way of pulling me back in. And as I watched him dance with Magui, his movements mechanical and his smile forced, I realized that maybe I wasn’t the only one struggling to figure out what came next.

The rest of the night passed in a blur. I danced with the others, laughed at their jokes, and tried to pretend that everything was fine. But the tension between Lando and me remained, simmering just beneath the surface, waiting for the right moment to explode.

As we left the club and headed back to the house, I couldn’t shake the feeling that this was far from over. Lando and I had unfinished business, and sooner or later, we were going to have to face it—whether we were ready or not.

The drive back to the house was quiet, the energy from the club fading into a tense silence. I stared out the window, watching the lights of the city blur into darkness as we left the crowded streets behind. My mind replayed the events of the night, the fleeting moments with Lando, Magui’s possessive glares, the way I’d felt Lando’s eyes on me even when he was dancing with her.

When we finally arrived back at the house, everyone seemed drained. Keegan and Martin stumbled inside, still laughing about something that happened at the club, while Max led Pietra to their room, the two of them whispering softly to each other. Magui, with her usual sharp tone, excused herself and headed to the bedroom she shared with Lando, giving me one last cutting glance before disappearing up the stairs.

Lando lingered behind, standing awkwardly in the doorway as the others dispersed. His gaze flicked to me, and I could see the struggle in his eyes—the internal battle he was fighting. He wanted to talk, to address everything that had been left unsaid between us, but he was trapped in his own confusion, caught between his obligations and what he truly wanted.

I wasn’t sure if I wanted to give him that chance. The thought of another conversation filled with half-truths and what-ifs left a bitter taste in my mouth. But a part of me—a part that had been buried for years—ached to hear what he had to say. To know if he felt even a fraction of what I was feeling.

“I’m heading to bed,” I said finally, breaking the silence. My voice came out steadier than I expected, even though my heart was pounding in my chest. “Goodnight, Lando.”

He opened his mouth to respond, but the words seemed to catch in his throat. Instead, he just nodded, a look of regret flashing across his face as I turned away.

I made my way upstairs, my footsteps echoing in the quiet hallway. As I reached my room, I paused at the door, my hand hovering over the handle. I could still feel Lando’s presence downstairs, the weight of his indecision pressing down on both of us. For a brief moment, I considered turning around, marching back down those stairs, and demanding answers. But I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Not tonight.

I slipped inside my room, shutting the door behind me with a soft click. The silence was deafening as I kicked off my heels and sank onto the edge of the bed. The night had left me emotionally drained, and all I wanted was to shut my eyes and forget everything. But sleep didn’t come easily.

Minutes passed, or maybe hours—I couldn’t tell. The house was eerily still, and the only sound was the occasional rustle of the wind outside. I was finally starting to drift off when I heard it—a soft knock on my door. My heart lurched, and I held my breath, hoping it was just my imagination playing tricks on me.

But then it came again, louder this time.

I hesitated, my mind racing. Who could it be?

Another knock, more insistent now, followed by a whispered, “Y/N, it’s me.”

Lando.

My pulse quickened, and I found myself frozen in place, unsure of what to do. Part of me wanted to ignore him, to let him stand out there and grapple with whatever he needed to say. But another part of me—the part that had always struggled to keep my distance from him—couldn’t resist.

Slowly, I stood up and made my way to the door. My hand trembled as I reached for the handle, and I hesitated for just a moment longer before finally opening it.

Lando stood there, his expression a mix of determination and vulnerability. His usual confidence seemed to have abandoned him, leaving behind a rawness that I wasn’t used to seeing. For a moment, we just stared at each other, the air thick with everything we hadn’t said.

“Y/N, I can’t keep doing this,” he said finally, his voice low and hoarse. “I can’t keep pretending that I don’t—”

“Lando,” I interrupted, my own voice barely a whisper. “We can’t. It’s too complicated.”

“I know it is,” he replied, stepping closer, his eyes searching mine. “But that doesn’t change how I feel. I’ve tried to push it away, to ignore it, but I can’t. Not anymore.”

His words sent a shiver down my spine, and I felt the walls I’d built around my heart start to crumble. But I couldn’t let myself fall into this trap again. Not when so much was at stake.

“Lando, you have a girlfriend,” I reminded him, my voice shaking slightly. “And she’s right down the hall.”

He flinched, guilt flickering in his eyes. “It’s not real, Y/N. You know that. It’s just for show, for the cameras. But what I feel for you... that’s real. It always has been.”

His confession hung in the air between us, heavy and dangerous. My heart was pounding so hard I was sure he could hear it. Every instinct screamed at me to shut the door, to end this conversation before it went too far. But instead, I found myself drawn to him, unable to tear my gaze away.

“I don’t know if I can do this,” I whispered, more to myself than to him. “I don’t know if I can trust you.”

His expression softened, and he reached out, gently taking my hand in his. The warmth of his touch sent a jolt of electricity through me, and for a moment, I allowed myself to revel in the feeling.

“Then let me prove it to you,” he murmured, his thumb brushing over my knuckles. “Just... don’t shut me out, Y/N. Not again.”

I stared at him, torn between the intense connection we shared and the voice of reason that told me this was a terrible idea. The past had taught me how easily things could fall apart, how quickly emotions could become entangled in a mess of hurt and betrayal.

But as I stood there, on the precipice of something that could either destroy us or finally bring us together, I knew one thing for certain—I couldn’t run from this forever.

“Okay,” I whispered, barely able to believe the word had left my lips. “But no more games, Lando. This has to be real.”

His eyes lit up with hope, and he nodded, squeezing my hand. “No more games. I promise.”

And just as I started to let my guard down, just as I began to believe that maybe, just maybe, we could make this work, the sound of footsteps echoed in the hallway. Both of us froze, and my heart dropped as the door at the end of the hall creaked open.

Magui’s voice, sharp and cutting, sliced through the silence. “Lando? What the hell is going on?”

Our eyes met, panic flashing between us. The moment of truth had come, and there was no turning back now.

__________________________________

LN4 Taglist: @cmleitora, @icecoldtires, @ggaslyp1, @really-fucking-tired, @lightdragonrayne, @esserenorris, @tallrock35, @yourbane, @evie-119, @cheyennep3107, @d3kstar

F1 Taglist: @tallrock35, @yourbane, @hiireadstuff, @really-fucking-tired, @evie-119, @donteventry-itdude, @spookystitchery, @dhanihamidi, @decafmickey, @cmleitora, @d3kstar

[bamber344]

Culture Shock

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it is 20 minutes to midnight but the chapter's done so i'm UPLOADING!!

Once again being bullied by these chapters, though for a very specific reason this time. I was stuck on one scene for like three days because I was trying to write a character doing something that I very much don't know how to do in real life.

Anyway, I'm overall pretty happy with how this one turned out. Enjoy!

CWs: Living weapon tingz, Jordyn's false belief that her abuse is normal, sexual references (in Jordyn's anatomically focused internal dialogue), dislocations, references to previous injury (stabbing), poor videogame skills

Culture Shock

“Need anything else?”

The officer shook his head. “Nah, I think we’re good. Tha-”

“Hey, get back here!”

I turned my head to find one of the suspects I’d just helped apprehend making a run for it. He must have wiggled free from the other officer’s grasp. No biggie. With a little bit of focus, I turned the darkness inside his pant leg solid, and sent a spike of it into the ground. With his hands cuffed behind his back, there was nothing stopping him from faceplanting hard on the asphalt road. Served him right for trying to run. The officer quickly grabbed him and dragged him back over to the cruiser.

The one in front of me cleared his throat. “Right. As I was saying, we should be good from here. Thanks for your help, Seven.”

I nodded, ignoring the way the name rankled. That was dangerous. I was starting to get used to being called ‘Jordyn’ again. “You’re welcome.”

Leaping up to a nearby rooftop and perching on the ledge, I stuck around and watched over the scene until the police left, just in case anything else happened, as per usual. By the time everything was done, the sun was starting to set, bathing Tombguard in a beautiful orange light. The season was turning, apparently. Summer had run its course, and now the weather would begin to grow colder. The idea was exciting. I didn’t feel like the outside world would ever lose its novelty after how long I spent in the facility.

I stepped back from the ledge to make sure no one could see me, and pulled my helmet off. Usually, that would be pretty risky, but I knew Father was out of his office right now, and the odds of him checking back over the footage were pretty low. Yes, I was taking a chance with being put back into that dark room and chained to the wall for another eight hours, but… Well, I’d been thinking about Maggie lately, along with everything she told me. Never stop asking questions, and all that.

Why did Father always want me to keep my helmet on? I thought it was to protect my identity, but everyone at the Union knew my identity now. Even if it was just to protect the sight of my face, surely it didn’t matter if no one was around to see it anyway, right? I mean, he let me run through the city without it back when we went to that ‘party’ thing, so… I felt bad just thinking it, but… it seemed a little arbitrary.  Especially when the wind picked up and I got to feel it rushing through what little hair growth I had since I last cut it two weeks ago – another one of my small transgressions, since Father almost never saw me without my helmet anyway.

These were questions I would’ve ordinarily purged from my mind the second they cropped up, but… after what happened with Steve, I’d been letting them sit and working through them in my head. I still didn’t have an answer for why I had to do that to him, and it was making me realise just how much else I didn’t have an answer to. I did what Father wanted because I owed him for saving me, and that wasn’t going to change, but I just wished he wouldn’t keep me in the dark so much. I knew I wasn’t as smart as Maggie seemed to think, but I didn’t think I was as stupid as Father thought, either. I could handle knowing the truth about more stuff.

…Well, it was pointless to think about. It wasn’t like I could just ask him to explain it all to me. I would have to work hard with this Union job and show him I could earn it.

Speaking of, I should probably head over there. It had been about two weeks since I first joined, and I’d only visited a handful of times. If I ever wanted to finish this mission, I needed to start sucking up my nerves and actually interact with the Union heroes. It was just… very uncomfortable whenever Vivienne was around. I wanted to spend time with her, but knowing what I did to her uncle, it was still difficult to be in her presence for any length of time.

Well, whether she was there or not, I couldn’t procrastinate forever. Better get moving.

—

I stepped into the Union conference room, looking around for any sign of life. So far, the place seemed empty. Aside from Muffin, of course, who somehow always knew when I’d arrived and was always there to greet me. He pranced up to me, trilling, and I removed one of my gauntlets to pet his weirdly wrinkly head.

“Wrinkly little boy,” I said. He mewed in agreement, nipping gently at my fingers.

With no one around, I decided I might as well explore the place on my own. To that end, I followed a hallway out of the conference room, taking turns randomly. Muffin came along for a bit, before getting bored and skulking off somewhere else.

Eventually, I came to what appeared to be some sort of gym. Brianna was there, running on one of the treadmills. Her braids were tied back behind her head, swaying back and forth with her movements. It looked like she’d worked up quite a sweat, based on the sheen that had covered her dark skin.

She turned her head towards me slightly, slowing the treadmill down to a walk. “That you, Jordyn?”

“Yeah. How’d you know?” I asked.

She smiled. “The way you walked in. You step like you’re trying not to be heard, but those boots aren’t exactly subtle when they hit the ground.”

…I did do that, didn’t I? “O-oh. I hadn’t realised. That… That’s a pretty impressive skill.”

Brianna shrugged. “Eh. I can’t see people when they approach, so I’ve had to figure out other ways of determining who’s who. Doesn’t work all the time, obviously, but you’re pretty unique, so it’s hard to mix you up with anyone.”

Unique, huh? The thought made me feel warm. “What if I didn’t have my armour on, though?”

She seemed to ponder on it for a second, then shrugged again. “Then I’d probably be out of luck unless you spoke.” She grinned, showing off her teeth. “Why, planning on stripping down?”

“No, just curious.”

Brianna paused, her expression faltering slightly. She then quietly chuckled for some reason, shaking her head. “Ah, you’re funny. Say, do you wanna run with me? I’ve still got a few K’s left before I hit my goal.”

It seemed as good an opportunity as any to start ingratiating myself, and I was no stranger to a treadmill. “Sure.”

I hopped up on the treadmill next to her, turning it on and slowly increasing the speed until I was at a steady run. For the most part, we remained silent, only focusing on the pounding of our feet and the occasional beep of Brianna’s treadmill announcing her progress every 500 metres or so. It was relaxing in a way training usually wasn’t for me. Probably because for once I couldn’t feel Father’s eyes on my back, watching for every mistake.

“You’re keeping a pretty good pace,” Brianna said. “Do this often?”

“Every day,” I replied. “It’s usually just a warm up for my daily training regiment. Gotta keep my stamina high, y’know?”

“Damn, I’ve gotta respect the grind. Though, with the work you do, I guess that’s to be expected. Bet you’ve got a pretty nice physique under that armour though, huh?”

“Y-yeah, it’s, uh… It’s pretty nice, I guess…” I muttered, insides swirling. “You’ve got a nice body, too.”

It was the truth. I wasn’t sure why, but I had to keep myself from constantly glancing over to her to catch another glimpse of her toned midriff, exposed by her exercise-wear. 

Brianna laughed. “Thanks, babe. I work pretty hard for it. You’ll have to show me yours sometime, too.”

I frowned. “How would that work if you can’t see?”

She grinned again. “I’ve got hands, don’t I? I’m sure I’ll be able to get the picture with those.”

I stumbled a bit on the treadmill, almost falling off before righting myself again. “Uh, y-yeah, I guess you would.”

…Wow, the thought of that felt funny. There was this weird, sparky sort of tingling in my gut, similar to that feeling I got back when I first figured out I could touch my clitoris to feel good, only not quite as strong yet. It made me want to go home and do that right now, actually. Or, alternatively, feel Brianna’s hands on my body and maybe between my legs as well. I wondered what that meant.

We ran in comfortable – yet contemplative, at least in my case – silence until Brianna finished up and reached her goal. She powered down her treadmill and got off, reaching down and picking a red and white cane up off the floor as she did so. I followed suit.

“So, you wanna… hit the showers?” she asked, enunciating the last part a little weirdly.

“No thanks. I usually just shower when I get back home.”

Brianna paused for a second, then shrugged. “Alright. Some other time, then. Catch you later, cutie.” 

She winked at me, before turning and making her way out of the gym, sweeping her cane back and forth in front of herself as she went. 

Wow, she was nice. I made a mental note to try and come back here around this time more often, so we could run together again.

Now that I was on my own, I turned back to the gym at large and had a proper look around. The space seemed pretty well-equipped. They obviously had an array of treadmills, but there was also an absolute truckload of other exercise equipment, too. Racks of weights, padded flooring clearly meant for sparring, a small selection of martial arts weaponry on one wall, and in an adjacent room, a big pit in the ground filled with water. That last one confused me a bit, so I ignored it, honing back in on what was familiar: the weaponry.

I picked a bō up off of the wall, examining it. The wood was rough and unfinished, as to be expected, and covered by a slight layer of dust. It was nothing I couldn’t wipe down though, and it had been a while since I got to work with one of these. Might as well make the most of it.

I walked out onto the sparring mat and settled into a comfortable stance, holding the bō in a standard two-handed grip. Taking a breath, I moved through what I remembered of my katas, swinging, thrusting, and spinning the bō around me, in sync with the rhythm of my body. As more came back to me, I began moving through them faster, striking harder, picturing targets in my mind’s eye to take down with my attacks.

Once I’d gone through each remembered kata at least three times, I began improvising, following the learned movements of my bō training and applying them to my own usual fighting style. The bō became an extension of my limbs, lashing out further and with greater power than I’d usually be able to muster on my own. I started flourishing a little, just for fun, spinning the bō around my arms and back as I brought it in for a strike. Then I began incorporating my shadows, using the bō as a conduit to manipulate them to my will.

Despite how hard I was pushing myself to maintain my speed and precision in my practice, I couldn’t remember the last time I’d felt so relaxed. Going through these repetitive yet satisfying movements without Father lurking over my shoulder felt… fun. Almost freeing, in a way. I’d never thought training could be enjoyable, and yet here I was, actually having a good time while working out for a change.

Once I was satisfied, I finished off with one final strike before settling back into a neutral stance, taking a deep breath and letting the tension flow out of my muscles.

A small round of applause from the side of the room startled me. I whirled around to find Vivienne leaning against the wall, clapping her hands along with one other guy I didn’t recognise, who was sitting on the bench next to her.

“That was impressive, Jordyn. You’ll have to teach me how to do that someday,” she said.

“Oh. Uh, thanks,” I replied. “When did you get here?”

“A couple minutes ago. I was actually looking for you. Brea told me you were in here.”

The guy stood up, waving. “I’m here too. The name’s Rishta. I was just coming by to do my dailies, but that was some awesome shit you just did there. Where’d you learn?”

“I had a trainer. I’m a little rusty, though,” I answered, then looked at Vivienne. “What did you need?”

“Oh, I was just wondering if you wanted to hang out. I’ve finished all my studies for today, so I’ve got some time to kill. Do you wanna do anything?”

On one hand, this was a great opportunity to start gaining more trust among the higher-up Union members, as Vivienne seemed to be, as well as an opportunity to just to spend more time with her, which a large part of me still really wanted to do. On the other, what happened to Steve still sat heavily at the back of my mind. I couldn’t keep running from her forever, though. I was never going to make up for the pain I’d caused if I just kept hiding from ever having to think about it. If she had gone so far as to actively seek me out, it meant she wanted to see me. It would only hurt her more if I kept turning her down.

“Uh, y-yeah, sure. What did you have in mind?”

“Hold on,” Rishta interrupted. “Before you girls go anywhere; Jordyn, could I spar with you?”

Finally, something familiar. This must be a common pastime here. As much as I hated fighting, it was something I could do well. Accepting his offer would be a great way to start making ground on my mission. “Okay.”

He clapped his hands. “Great! I’ve been wanting to test your mettle ever since I saw you kick some guy’s ass on the news. I’ve been doing MMA for almost my whole life, but I’ve never seen moves like that. I’d be really interested to hear where you learned your stuff.”

Vivienne rolled her eyes with a smirk, sitting down on the bench. “Well, I guess I’ll ref, then.”

Rishta turned to her, hands clasped in apology. “Sorry Viv, just one match. It won’t take that long!”

She smiled. “It’s fine. It’ll make for some entertainment to see you get put on your ass at least.”

“Damn. Confident in Jordyn, aren’t you?” 

“Jordyn is a highly trained special forces police officer. You are an admittedly pretty good martial artist. While I do think you have a chance, Jordyn’s got you beat in the experience department by a mile.”

“Okay, I’ll concede that,” Rishta said. “Either way, win or lose, I just wanna see how I fair. So, ref, what are the rules?”

Vivienne seemed to think for a second before deciding. “One round, either a ten second pin or a tap-out. No power use. Also, Jordyn? You’ve gotta take your armour off, otherwise it isn’t fair.”

I cocked my head to the side. “Why’s that?”

Rishta snorted. “Uh, because if you hit me with those metal fists you’re liable to take teeth out? And also, how am I meant to land a hit if I might break my wrist with a solid punch?”

That was… pretty reasonable, actually. There was a reason most of my trainers used special equipment when I was fighting them in my armour.

“Okay, but… I’m not allowed to let people see my face.”

“You can use your powers to cover it up, but only for that,” Vivienne said. “Like that night we ran into each other, remember?”

I nodded. “Yeah, alright.”

There was a chance Father would be mad at me for doing this, but… technically, I was still following all of his rules, right? Yes, he wanted me to keep my armour on at all times outside of my quarters, but if they still couldn’t see my face, what did it really matter? If he wanted me to gain their trust, I was gonna have to take some risks.

Step by step, I peeled my armour off, piling it on the floor. I summoned a cloud of shadows around my face before pulling off my helmet, and left it with the rest. 

Rishta whistled. “Damn, girl. You are built.” 

I didn’t know what that meant. Glancing at Vivienne heeded no clues, either. She was too busy looking at my arms, for whatever reason.

“Uh, sorry?”

Vivienne stood up, walking over. “He means you’re muscular. Seriously though, you have some nice arms.” She reached out, but stopped before she could make contact. “Can I feel?”

Most of the time, when people needed to touch me, they just did it. It was weird for her to ask, but oddly, it actually made me feel better about saying yes. I nodded, holding my arm out to her. 

She placed a cold hand on my bicep, gently squeezing, before running her fingers up to my shoulder. I was only dressed in a tanktop and my underwear, so she had a lot of space to explore.

“What’s this scar here?” she asked, tracing over an indent on the front of my shoulder.

“A criminal’s knife got through my armour. It was a long time ago, though.”

Vivienne paused, stepping back with an odd look on her face. “Right…”

Rishta cleared his throat. “Are we gonna spar? Or do I need to give you two some space together?”

Vivienne’s face turned a fascinating shade of pink. She whirled around to Rishta, pointing an accusatory finger at him. “That’s enough out of you.”

“I’m ready,” I said.

“Alright, let’s do this,” he replied, walking into the sparring ring. I followed behind him and settled into a fighting stance on the opposite side.

“Are you both good to go?” Vivienne asked from the sidelines.

“Yup,” Rishta replied. 

“Yes,” I said.

“Alright. Remember, you win by either pinning the other person for ten seconds, or getting them to tap out. No power usage. Just a clean and friendly match. Alright, fight!”

I inched towards Rishta, keeping a close eye on his movements as he did the same. Due to my lack of coverage, I was at a slight disadvantage; any twitch in my muscles to indicate my thoughts would be that much more visible, and I couldn’t read his thanks to his baggy clothing. I would just have to trust in my own reflexes.

We reached contact distance and Rishta didn’t waste any time, throwing out a few clear jabs to test me. I batted them away with ease, and returned with a few of my own. He ducked out of the way of one, but the second grazed his ear. He flinched, jumping back out of my range.

“Okay,” he muttered. “Faster than I thought. That’s fine.”

Why he was wasting time talking to himself, I didn’t know. I would, however, be taking advantage of it. I darted forward, aiming to sink a fist into his solar plexus before he could react. His reaction speed was pretty good though, as he noticed just in time and moved to block the hit. My fist was redirected, but I still landed a glancing blow on his ribs that would succeed in winding him a bit all the same.

I didn’t let up, aiming high this time. He blocked a hook directed at his jaw and grabbed my arm, clearly aiming to throw me as he spun into my centre. I moved with the throw, flipping over in the air to land back on my feet, and used my momentum to land a solid kick to his side. Rishta gasped, letting go of me and backing up.

“F-fuck, Jordyn. You’re-”

Apparently, he hadn’t learned his lesson. I just wanted to get this over with, so I moved in for the kill, returning his attempt at a throw by slipping my leg behind his and flipping him over my hip. He slammed back-first onto the mat and I wasted no time, grabbing his arm and pulling it between my legs as I wrapped them around his throat and waist, trapping him in an armbar. Then, I dropped to my back, squeezed my legs, and pulled with all my strength, pushing my hips up at the same time.

Rishta screamed as the pressure mounted, and it wasn’t long before the tell-tale pop of his shoulder leaving his socket reached my ears. This fight was over.

I released his arm and rolled back up to my feet. Rishta remained on the floor, catching his breath and groaning.

“What the fuck was that?!”

I looked up to find Vivienne staring at me, a horrified expression on her face. “What did you do?!”

“I dislocated his shoulder,” I replied. Why did she look so bothered?

Vivienne’s face didn’t change. “Why?!”

I frowned. “I… I don’t understand. What’s wrong?”

“J-Jordyn,” Rishta called from the floor, voice shaking. “While that was a s-seriously impressive armbar, I… I think she wants to know… wh-why you felt the need to dislocate my FUCKING shoulder!”

“Isn’t… Isn’t that normally how sparring matches go?” I asked, starting to get the distinct feeling I’d done something very, very wrong. “I dislocate my shoulders at least once a week in training.”

Vivienne’s face finally shifted, all the way from horror to pity. “Oh, Jordyn… No, that’s… that’s not normal. You shouldn’t be dislocating anything at all ever. I’m shocked you can even move your arms at this point if it’s happening so frequently.”

I looked down at Rishta, his face contorted in pain. Pain that I caused. I just couldn’t stop hurting people, could I? “I… don’t understand.”

What did ‘not normal’ even mean? This was just the way it had always been. I trained, and if I wasn’t good enough, I was hurt. My shoulders came out easier and easier the more it happened, but that was just what I deserved for failing to meet Father’s expectations. Was that… not how it was done in the Heroes’ Union? Was Father hurting me for no reason? No, definitely not. I never would have become as strong as I am if he didn’t train me like he did. But… If all of these heroes could do their jobs without needing to go through that training…

Vivienne kneeled down, helping Rishta to his feet. “We’ll talk more about this later, Jordyn. Right now, I need to get him to urgent care.”

No. No, I caused this pain, but I knew how to fix it, too. I needed to fix it. 

“W-wait, I know how to put it back in. P-please, let me help.”

Vivienne looked at me appraisingly, and then at Rishta. “Are you okay with that?” she asked. 

“If she’s really dislocated her sh- shit-” he paused, wincing for a second, “shoulders as much as she says she has, I’m sure she knows what she’s doing. Let her have a go.”

Vivienne nodded, gently laying him back down. I kneeled down next to him, hands shaking, throat clogged with the need to cry. Now wasn’t the time for that, so I forced it back.

“I-I’m sorry. I didn’t know. I- I just thought this was how it was.”

“It’s cool, Jordyn. You don’t get very far as a martial artist if you hold a grudge every time someone puts you on your ass. If you wanna make it up to me, you can teach me how you did that flippy thing when I tried to throw you. Also, find a new trainer. Yours sounds like an asshole. Maybe a therapist, too.”

I grunted noncommittally. As if Father would ever let me choose my trainers. Also, I didn’t know what a therapist was, so it was hard to agree to that, as well.

Step by step, I walked him through the process of getting his shoulder back into place. He cried out a bit louder than expected when it popped back in, but succeeded nonetheless.

“Shit, that was intense,” Rishta muttered, still catching his breath, tears visibly pricking his eyelids.

“Feel better?” Vivienne asked.

“Yeah,” he replied.

“Do you have a sling you could use? Standard procedure with shoulder dislocations is to give the joint a rest for a week. If not, I could get one for you.”

“Thanks, Viv. That’d be great.”

“And you,” she said, rounding on me, poking me in the chest. “Rest your shoulders before you lose use of them entirely. You’re gonna give yourself arthritis.”

I blinked. “Huh?”

Vivienne sighed. “Do your shoulders hurt?”

I frowned. “Yeah. All the time. Don’t everyone’s?” 

“Jordyn.” Her voice turned soft. “Most people aren’t in any pain at all. Your shoulders hurt because they’ve been constantly abused. Every time you dislocate them, the muscles and tendons are stretched far beyond what they’re made for. Even when you set the joint back in, the damage stays, and it takes time, and more importantly, rest, to recover. Even with the rest, your joint becomes weaker. I’m not a doctor, but I am in medical school, and honestly? I think at this point the only way you’re going to ever fully recover is through major surgery.”

“Oh.” That was… a lot to take in. There was no way that was correct, though. Father wouldn’t let me continue to injure myself if it would affect my performance in the long run, right? My performance was practically all he cared about.

“I know that must be pretty daunting, but don’t worry too much, okay?” Vivienne put a hand on my shoulder and I felt it dig straight into my heart. The tears started forcing their way back up my throat, despite my best efforts. “The Union is here for you. You’re never alone when you’re with us.”

This was too much. I needed to get out of here. I’d done my part for the day and now I needed to go.

I moved past Vivienne towards where my armour was, and began re-equipping it as fast as I could. Neither of them spoke a word or tried to stop me, and once everything was back where it should be, I all-but ran out of the room and out of the building, jumping up to the rooftops to hide.

Maybe one day I’d be able to have a normal interaction with Vivienne without feeling more emotions than I thought possible, but today wasn’t that day. So much was running through my head, and I didn’t know what to do with any of it. Once again, that advice from Maggie rang through my ears. Father was hurting me unnecessarily, and I couldn’t understand why. More importantly, how the hell was I supposed to unravel all of this when barely getting through the day took so much brain power already?

Vivienne said the Union would be there for me when I needed them. But would they be there for this? 

—

“No, no, no, no, no, no- Aw, come on!” Vivienne grumbled, throwing the controller down on the bed. 

“Did you die again?” Brea asked.

“Shut up.”

“Have you tried turning the difficulty down?”

“Brianna, I swear to god.”

Brianna giggled, sinking back against the pillows. “I’m just sayin’. Listening to you die over and over again is starting to get boring.”

“Why don’t you try it, then?” Viv teased, though she knew it was a bit of a low blow.

“Ooh, you’re so funny, Viv.”

Vivienne grunted. In truth, she wasn’t all that invested in the game. The earlier events of the day were still taking up far too many of her thoughts for that. Rishta would be fine after a week or so, of course, and he was a remarkably good sport about the whole incident. No, he wasn’t the issue. The issue was that Jordyn had once again inadvertently revealed something about her life that she deemed innocuous, but was actually horrifying, and now Vivienne couldn’t stop thinking about it. The poor girl dislocated her shoulders once a week! She supposed she shouldn’t be surprised, given what they’d learned about Jordyn’s origins. It made sense that de Vygon wouldn’t bother being too protective of her when he literally grew her in a tube and could grow another just as easily. Still, it was just… so fucked up. Vivienne wanted to grab hold of Jordyn, wrap her in blankets, stop forcing her to hide her face, give her a hot chocolate and some plushies and a kiss on the forehead, and put her in front of a tv with some disney movies or something. Just… anything to alleviate the trauma that poor girl was going through on a daily basis.

Yes, these things took time and she just needed to be patient. But knowing that didn’t make the burning need to do something any less powerful.

“So,” Brianna said, holding the syllable out for far longer than necessary. “What do you think about Jordyn?”

Vivienne blinked. Apparently, Brianna had the power to read minds on top of her ability to turn into smoke.

“What do you mean?”

Brianna sighed. “I dunno. Think she likes girls?”

Ah. That made more sense. “Hard to say. Maybe? Why?”

“I was putting out a couple of feelers today when we were running on the treadmills together; y’know, trying to see how receptive she was to a casual fuck. She seemed into it, but then she turned me down when I invited her to the showers, so I’m not really sure.”

Vivienne snorted at her bluntness. “You wanna screw Jordyn?”

“Yeah, why not? She’s cute, isn’t she?”

“I dunno, I’ve never seen her face.”

“I mean, like, her personality ‘n stuff. Y’know, hardworking, determined, but kinda naive. And at the same time, sort of meek. It’s interesting. I’d like to know more about her.”

“And, to do that you’re gonna bang her?” Vivienne asked.

“Well, to be honest, she gives me major anxiety vibes. It would probably be good for her to unwind, y’know? Obviously, if she doesn’t want to, I’m cool to just hang with her, but I’m of the opinion that fucking someone is the single best icebreaker there is. Once you share that… that ultimate vulnerability with each other, there’s no nerves getting in the way anymore, y’know? Isn’t that how our friendship started?”

“I- well, okay fine, you’ve got me there,” Viv admitted, much to her chagrin. Sleeping with Brianna had been a great way to loosen up and also gain some confidence in herself after joining the Union. Hell, it would probably be just as useful for Jordyn, just like Brea was saying. But, knowing what she knew about Jordyn’s whole deal, it could definitely backfire if not handled with caution.

“Still, if you’re gonna do it, just… be careful? Jordyn seems like she’s got a lot going on, and she might… I don’t know… go along with it when she doesn’t really want to. I get the feeling she has trouble saying no to people.”

Brea hummed. “Yeah, I can definitely see that. Don’t worry, I’ll be careful. Either way, I gotta get my intentions through to her first.”

“Honestly? You’re probably best off just being straightforward. Like you said, she’s pretty naive. If you’re not clear, she’s not gonna get it; like you inviting her to the showers.”

“Yeah, that tracks... Anyway, that aside, are you gonna keep playing any time soon? I’m actually starting to get invested in the plot, but if all I can hear for the next hour is the sound of you getting your ass kicked, I’m leaving.”

A laugh burst up from Vivienne’s chest. “Oh, okay then. Tell me how you really feel, Brea.”

She fished the controller up from where it had fallen between her and Brianna’s legs, and unpaused the game. It was serious now; her pride was on the line. Vivienne was gonna beat this boss or die trying.

It was a little weird to think about; Brianna and Jordyn having sex. Part of her instinctively objected to the idea, on the basis of Jordyn’s sheltered-ness and naivety. But, in truth, Jordyn was a grown woman, and she deserved to make her own choices, even- no, especially when it came to stuff like this. Besides, Vivienne trusted Brea. Regardless of how it turned out or what Jordyn decided, she trusted that Brianna would do the right thing. She knew what she was doing in this department far more than Vivienne could ever hope to. There was nothing to worry about. It would all turn out for-

“Did you just die again?”

“Fuck!”

Taglist: @steelandblood @sapphicwhump @urnumber1star @alsolucakairomi @thataquaticwhumper

@iamheretohurt @anoyedartist @dontyoubleedoutonme @seastarblue @lettherebepain

@bacillusinfection

This arc is great because it means I can explore Brianna more, since she lives at the Union HQ. She is fr everybody's friend and it is mostly because she just does not gaf about societal norms of intimacy and will love on you platonically until you accept your new best friend. She knows what she wants and how to get it.

(can you tell that her flirting scene was the one that gave me so much grief?)

If you can't already tell, the next chapter will very likely be saucy, unless I decide to put a buffer between them. So, if you're here for that, get ready >:) If you're not here for that, uh... my condolences. I will try to remember to indicate how to skip those parts.

Lemme know what you thought of the chap with a comment or reblog! See ya next time!

[formulapookie]

soo i’m writing a marcmarc fanfiction and Im going to make it multi chapter, it’s going to explore a bit Bez’s internalised homophobia and his path towards the light (fucking with Marc)

and i’m going to upload it both here and on Ao3, if you like it i’d love for you to leave kudos, no pressure tho obv <3

I took a bit of inspiration by @anitalianfrie and some ideas from @yeastinfectionvale because the two of you are the most dangerous marcmarc psychosexual supporters I relate with

Below you can find the fic, if u enjoy reading on Tumblr more than on Ao3❤️

2024 pre-season

It was cold, but still, Marco was sitting outside the ranch, it was around 3 in the morning he supposed, thoughts clouded by the joint he was still finishing up.

He was trying to reflect on something that had been seriously affecting his life lately, or rather much someone.

Marc Marquez.

Since he had signed with Gresini the Spaniard just seemed to continuously pop up into his life, whether it was on track or not, like last week for example, he was out with a group of his friends and who did he meet at the club he went to? Marc Marquez, drinking with a guy he thought was a friend of the man, but the more he thought about it, the more he remembered strange details, like a hand lingering a bit too much or a few glances casted in a very lustful way.

He archived the memory as a made up one, a result of the not so little amount of alcohol he consumed that night.

Plus, Marc had a girlfriend, and even if he didn't, everyone on the grid was straight.

All the jokes, flirty ones even, were always platonic and between friends, he did that too with Pecco, and it wasn’t like he was…gay.

He had had a girlfriend until a few weeks prior, when she decided it would’ve been a good idea to cheat on him and dump him via text of all things.

The joint was coming to an end, and with it all his will to stay outside and freeze, looking for a warm blanket and a snack instead.

Memories grew along with his hunger, and the frames of his mind ran back to the night he saw Marquez at the club.

Shirt buttoned just halfway, a silver necklace adorning his neck and bouncing slightly every time he moved.

His smile, a painfully magnetic one, drawing people to him like moths to a flame, like his eyes, profound and deep.

But what Bez remembered the best were his shoulders.

Broad, muscled, tanned and glowing with sweat, moving up and down rhythmically when he laughed.

If he focused enough, he could remember peeking the outline of one of Marc’s scars from the hem of his shirt, and something similar to a hickey on the juncture between his neck and shoulder, sinfully on display.

Fuck, why did he remember those things? He was pretty sure that a blonde flirted with him that night, he was sure she was hot even, but he couldn’t remember a single detail from her, just from that small fucking bastard

As his mind stopped wandering Bez realized he was back into his room, an half finished protein bar in hand and an obviously painful bulge in his pants.

Fuckfuckfuckfuck how did that happen? was it the blonde? it couldn’t have been Marquez, could it?

The answer came when his dick twitched at the mention of Marc’s name.

cazzo

He was conflicted: should he let it go away on its own or act on it? because he knew the moment he would’ve touched himself thinking of his rival it would’ve been over for him.

Seeing him in the paddock, on insta or at one of the clubs would’ve meant remembering this.

No no no he hated Marquez, this was just the smoke speaking for him, he always got a bit horny after smoking, it wasn’t different from other times.

Except it was. It was so much different, this longing he felt for the older guy, the need he had to just lick his lips and bite down on those delicious looking shoulders, grabbing his neck and crushing their lips together.

Bez also remembered the cologne he was wearing; it smelled like woods and fresh, he didn’t know much about perfumes but that was surely a smell he wasn’t going to forget it easily.

“Maybe it’s not that bad. Just once, one time and then I’ll forget about him”

he thought while sliding into bed and slowly slipping his hand into his pants.

It was embarrassing how quickly he became vocal about it, softly of course because he didn’t want the other guys or worst, Vale, to hear him moan out Marc Marquez’s name and finding him like that.

He stroked his cock with growing speed, twisting his wrist when he came close to the tip, gritting his teeth and grabbing the sheets with his free hand.

“Marc-“ a suffocated plea leaving the boy's mouth, but remaining painfully present in his room, floating around as a curse.

The more he thought about the Spaniard the harder he got, he wanted more more more.

He wanted Marc, in all his stupid perfection, he wanted him to choke on his cock, or bouncing on it, he wanted Marc to be as desperate for him as Bez was for the man.

“Si si si” a trail of words left the boy’s mouth to get lost into the silent and cold night in Tavullia, alongside with Marco’s orgasm, which hit him hard and fast, ropes of white liquid staining his abdomen and part of the sheets.

He went to the bathroom to wash his hands and getting cleaned up, being extra careful not to wake anyone up.

He looked at himself in the mirror, cheeks red, puffy lips and glassy eyes, pupils still blown wide from the smoke and the excitement of the recent jerk off session.

He knows he will have to face what he just did, because what if it wasn’t just Marc? What if it was men in general? Could have he been bisexual? To be fair he was a bit scared to know, what if Vale or one of the guys found it disgusting? what if his family did?

Could’ve he kept that secret for long?

He doesn’t think so, honestly he’s scared of loosing both families at once for something like that.

No no, he ultimately decided.

If he understands he likes guys he’s going to keep it for himself.

It’s going to be better for everyone that way

[dreadnotau]

Happy three years everybody! As always, there’s a lot to say on the occasion, so pop in at the end of the post for the tl;dr if you don’t have time for my detailed diatribes, haha

Boy, time flies, huh? Feels like the second anniversary was just yesterday, but maybe that’s just the several long hiatuses getting to me. I’ve been scarce on uploading anything anywhere for a while now, even though I promised I’d actually pick up the slack this time around. What gives? Well…

For one, college hell, and for two, a lot of unfounded anxiety about putting my art out there. Allow me some theatrics for a moment and I’ll actually get back to the comic at hand… I’ve never had an exceptionally supportive environment for making art. It wasn’t suppressive, not in the slightest, but it also wasn’t… encouraging. It was always treated as a hobby or a distraction rather than something I was allowed to be fully proud of, especially because a lot of my art focused on more cartoon-y and fantasy ideas, rather than still life studies and painting (which people generally outside of the art sphere tend to value more, arbitrarily). Couple that with a childhood full of being bullied over minute shit you hadn’t even considered could be an issue before, and you get a teenager hellbent on never sharing his interests or ideas with anyone, mostly due to the fear of rejection.

I’ve grown, thankfully, but that paranoia and fear doesn’t go away overnight. As I’m sure you all know, Meowchela was the one who originally encouraged me to post this comic, and the only reason she succeeded was because she was the first person in a long time who listened and engaged with my interests and my art in a meaningful way. It’s kind of obvious her friendship had a profound impact on me, and I’d cite her as one of the reasons I was even hopeful enough to apply to an art college in the first place! This comic, and that bond with another person, proved that maybe these things I’m so passionate about weren’t duds, and weren’t something I had to keep to myself.

So, fast forward a few years. About three years, in fact.

During one of my classes, right before this hellish two weeks of exams started, one of the class assistants talked me into showing my comic pages to one of my professors. He’s generally a pretty open guy when it comes to new mediums, but I’m always… apprehensive about showing my less “traditional art”-y things to professors, but, he ended up being genuinely proud of it. Specifically, I showed him pages 85-87 (because they’re my favourites) and, he didn’t read the text, just the visuals were enough for him to say “good job, keep it up” (which is HIGH praise from that guy). When I mentioned I’ve been meaning to simplify the visuals because I didn’t have time to work on the comic very often because of college and classes, he dismissed it on principle. I was honestly caught off guard. Heavily paraphrasing, he suggested that worsening the visuals for an arbitrary deadline was counterproductive to making something that’s Good™.

That’s kinda stuck with me. For a good few years now I was more focused on optimisation rather than visual improvement for the comic, and though it HAS contributed to better visuals in some ways (cutting corners sometimes makes for a less pointy and jagged end result), it’s kind of weird I’m treating an art project that way, isn’t it? I set a lot of… arbitrary deadlines and standards for myself, in the form of expectations and what I “should” or “shouldn’t” be doing at certain stages in my life. I’ve thought of Dread Not as a passion project second and a stepping stone first, if I’m being honest. As if it was too… fandom-y and derivative to be treated with more gravity than that, like it’s an immature project because I was still a child when I came up with it. As if it was something I’m making to Build Up to Something Else, something Bigger and Cooler and More Important, and… the more I think about the future of Dread Not, and even my future career options, the more I realised that’s, ironically, a really immature way to think about it.

If there’s one thing going to this art college has taught me, is that there’s no “right” way to make art, and there’s no “right” way to success as an artist. There’s no clear-cut paths, just more commonly treaded roads, but even those are heavily overgrown. Why should I try to box myself into thinking I have to make things from complete scratch to be taken seriously? What’s so bad about Dread Not as a story and as a comic that’s caused me to vaguely keep it under wraps when conversing with people in my day-to-day life? Why wouldn’t I put all these skills I’ve acquired to improve and expand this project that’s Right There, WAITING for me to finally get off my ass and get pages out there again?

I wish I could say I’ve used all this time away in a particularly clever way, but I really haven’t - at least, it feels like I haven’t. My art has undoubtedly improved over time (though admittedly the art for this post was Very rushed, fuckin exams), and while I’ve been working on projects in the background, chipping away at them in a VERY disorganised way, I haven’t been posting that progress anywhere, and I haven’t made any good progress on my biggest project, Dread Not, because of the other ones. And, honestly? Admitting that kinda stings. This comic means a lot to me, and I wish I actually gave it the time and attention it deserves instead of letting it sit out hiatus after hiatus because I keep failing at structuring my time.

So, my new plan is a little more abstract: find a way to work Dread Not into my school schedule, and slowly build a habit of working on it more often. No clue how long that’ll take, but I think it’ll be worth it to consider it as an option, and hopefully finally end these long, drawn out hiatuses with short bursts of uploads in-between. HOPEFULLY. Building habits was never my strong suit, so please bear with me while I figure this out in what will probably be the most hectic upload schedule in this comics history, which is: no schedule at all.

From now on (until the end of Act 1), I’ll upload pages when they’re ready, and depending on how the weeks go and how complex the page is, they could be weeks or days apart from one another. Hell, some might even take a month to finish if school stuff gets REALLY hectic (god knows Hellish Exam Week number 1 and number 2 won’t be giving me much time to work on the comic), but I’m determined to do this. I want to be able to put my all into this project again!!

(And hopefully finish Act 1 by the end of this semester…)

TL;DR: College is giving me life lessons I didn’t expect, and because of them I’ve decided to give myself a non-existent upload schedule for Dread Not: Pages will be posted when they’re ready, and the spacing between pages could wildly vary depending on circumstances and the actual complexity of the page itself.

As always, thank you for being here, thank you for reading, and thank you for being patient!

If all goes well, there will be new content very, very soon.

[infiniteeight8]

Unprompted Obsession ‘verse

I have two prompts in my inbox, but I am too tired to write today, so instead have this Obsession 'verse ficlet that I wrote over the past couple of days. :D

This follows pretty closely on the last ficlet (the one with Rhodey).

Most of the Obsession 'verse is here.

And the most recent one (which I haven't uploaded to the series yet) is here.

-

Pepper is alone in her office when a portal opens and Doctor Strange steps through.

His expression is neutral, perhaps even slightly pleasant, but despite that Pepper can’t help wondering if this is the fallout from James’ evening with Tony two days ago. Her heart rate picks up, but she puts on her best board meeting smile and turns away from her computer. “Doctor Strange. Has my assistant missed an appointment? You aren’t on my calendar.”

“I checked your calendar, you’re not busy,” he says, seating himself across the desk from her. His Cloak twitches out of the way to allow him to sit smoothly without his hands ever approaching it. 

Pepper’s smile never falters. “I’m not Tony,” she says. “I don’t find the invasion of privacy charming, and I’d prefer it if you didn’t portal into my space without asking.”

Strange is silent for a moment. “Of course,” he says eventually. “My apologies. Would you prefer I return later? With an appointment, of course.”

“No, I’ll make an exception today, since we hadn’t established boundaries yet,” Pepper says. Her heart is still racing. “But I expect them to be respected in the future. What can I do for you?”

“Actually, I’m here to reassure you,” Strange says seriously. 

“Me?” Pepper can’t help the small laugh that escapes her. “About what?”

“That I have no intention of interfering in your friendship with Tony. Or that of James’ Rhodes.”

Pepper’s professional smile cools a little. “And what makes you think I need reassurance on that front?”

“The other night, Colonel Rhodes told Tony he was worried I wouldn’t want Tony to see him,” Strange explains. “It seems likely that you share that worry, and while Tony has somewhat allayed Colonel Rhodes’ concern, I thought that you might prefer to hear it from the horses’ mouth. So to speak.”

He’s not wrong, but he’s also making Pepper wonder if Tony told him about that conversation or if he just listened in. Pepper considers Strange for a long moment. “I need more than that,” she says. “Tony is too important to me and you’re too much of an unknown quantity to just take your word for it.”

Strange nods like he expected that. “May I take it as a given that you accept that my devotion to Tony is genuine?” When Pepper hesitates, Strange’s mouth takes on a wry tilt. “Whether or not you consider it healthy.” Pepper waves for him to go on. Strange spreads his hands. “Let me put it this way: Tony’s friendships with you and Colonel Rhodes are fundamental to who he is as a person. I am very fond of who Tony is as a person, and therefore I am very protective of his friendships with you.”

Pepper studies Strange for a long moment. He meets her gaze steadily. Pepper’s always been a good judge of people, and she has to admit he seems sincere. That said, his explanation raises a whole host of other concerns. What would he do if he felt Tony’s fundamental friendships were being threatened? What would constitute a threat? What about relationships that he doesn’t consider fundamental? What about other things that could affect who Tony is as a person?

Unfortunately, those things are too broad or too speculative to address to any helpful degree. Pepper chooses the one that has kept her up a few nights instead: “You don’t find his past relationship with me threatening?”

Strange chuckles and folds his hands together. “Quite the contrary. The nature of your romance with Tony and the manner of its dissolution contributed significantly to his interest in my style of relationship.” 

Pepper can’t help but wonder, uneasily, if she should feel guilty about that. She knows that she’s not responsible for Tony, that he’s a grown man capable of making his own choices, but she’s also spent a long time taking care of him, professional and personally, and the idea that she left him vulnerable to Strange’s obsession… “And what happens,” she asks aloud, “if Tony decides that he’s not interested in your style of relationship anymore?”

“I don’t think that’s likely.” There’s something oddly certain about the way Strange says that. The feeling is only heightened by the way he smiles. “And he’ll have you and Colonel Rhodes regardless, won’t he?” Strange pushes back his chair and stands.

“Of course,” Pepper says, automatically rising to her feet as well. She needs to follow up with some type of parting comment, but nothing seems appropriate. Strange’s professed purpose aside, she isn’t feeling particularly reassured. This wasn’t their first meeting, and even if it had been, it wasn’t exactly nice. Ultimately, Pepper settles for a generic, “Thank you for coming by.”

“I’ll be sure to make an appointment next time,” Strange says.

Pepper doesn’t feel at all as if she won anything there.

From the set of Strange’s shoulders and the look in his eye as he steps through another portal, he knows it.

[asordinaryppl]

A3! Main Story: Part 4 - Act 14: DREAM CATCHER - Episode 25: Full Power Ad Campaign

Izumi: (The performance is finally opening this weekend, but ticket sales are…)

Izumi: Uhhh…

Izumi: (They’ve increased since our last meeting, but weekdays are still are over the place.)

Izumi: (It’s honestly kinda scary that we can’t sell out, even with Tenma-kun’s clout…)

Izumi: There has been an increase not only in announcements for performances, but also special events, and when you add streaming into the mix, there’s no avoiding dispersion.

Izumi: (Since it’s come to this, we’ll definitely need an advertising campaign… I should consult Masumi-kun as well.)

Izumi: (I’d also like to increase our social media exposure for the New Fleur Award–)

[Flashback starts]

Ibuki: Sometimes I take long videos, edit them and upload them, but nowadays, most people mindlessly scroll through short videos, so they’re all hits.

[Flashback ends]

Izumi: — —

-

Kumon: Ah, there’s an article about the dress rehearsal!

Kazunari: Everyone got the job done as fast as always~

Yuki: Looks like it’s mostly well-received.

Misumi: … Grandpa, it’s almost time.

Muku: It must be nice to be able to talk to Hakkaku-san any time you want.

Misumi: Yup!

Izumi: Everyone, could I have some of your time?

Tenma: What’s up?

Izumi: I know this is very last minute, but I’d like for you to shoot a promotional video wearing your costumes.

Kazunari: Alrighties!

Kumon: What’re we doing? What’re we doing?

Muku: Uh, ummm, uhhh, some kind of one-shot?

Kumon: Imitation?

Misumi: Somersaults!

Tenma: Would that even count as advertising? It’d be better as a highlight.

Kazunari: More people are gonna want to look if there’s movement~

Yuki: Then how about a highlight digest?

-

Izumi: Yeah, this is perfect! I’ll upload it ASAP. Thanks, you guys!

Misumi: You’re welcome~!

Izumi: I hope this will get more people to come to watch… But there sure is a lot of competition.

Kazunari: Everyone’s been promoing all over Veludo Way lately~

Kumon: Ah, then–

-

Tenma: The opening performance for “Water me!! ~The 333-Year Promise~” is today!

Muku: We’re from MANKAI Company! Thank you very much!

Izumi: Never thought we’d be handing out flyers right before the performance…

Kumon: I thought it’d be a good warm up!

Kazunari: And we stand out since we’re wearing our costumes~

Yuki: If they get dirty, you’ll be cleaning them up yourselves.

Kumon: We’ll be careful…!

Misumi: “Water me!! ~The 333-Year Promise~” begins today~!

Passerby A: Ohhh, this starts today.

Passerby B: Oh, I checked it out, but forgot to buy a ticket!

Passerby A: There’s so many I want to see lately, making plans is like trying to make puzzle pieces fit.

Izumi: There are still available seats for weekdays, so feel free to buy a ticket!

Passerby B: I’m making a reservation online as we speeeaak—

[Bump]

Passerby B: —*gasp*

Misumi: Are you okay~?

Passerby B: The flyers…! I’m so sorry, I’ll pick them up!

Muku: It’s okay, we’ll gather them all.

Kazunari: Be careful~

Passerby: I’m really so sorry! Good luck at your performance!

Kazunari: Thankieees~!

Misumi: I’ll go pick up the flyers that went that way~!

Izumi: Thanks, I’ll leave it to you.

-

???: … A flyer?

???: MANKAI Company…

Café owner: Ah, good morning, Kureha-kun.

Café owner: I have to go shopping real quick, so can I leave the shop to you? We don’t have any customers at the moment.

Kureha: Alright.

Café owner: I’m counting on you.

Kureha: …?

previous episode | masterpost | next episode

[maythedreadwolftakeyou]

ok i Deserve this 😂 from @loquaciousquark from this wip game!

hmmmm here's some segments from that don't really give too much away in isolation

“Hey,” Hawke says softly, giving the dwarf a crooked smile as he quietly closes the door and exaggeratedly tiptoes his way to the single chair. “Sorry, I forgot you were coming by.” “I checked in earlier, but you both had gone out. I’d consider not forgiving you, but I can see now that you couldn’t manage to go more than a few hours without my presence anyway.” Varric grins wickedly, nodding down at the novel laying open on the blankets.

“I used to fight golems, you know,” she says miserably. “Whole bands of thugs. A dragon even, that one time.” “I know, Hawke.” “Now I can’t even face a bowl of oats.” “I think we would have traded a lot for our biggest problem to be a bowl of oats, back then.”

hang on both of those are too lighthearted where's an angsty one

You’d think for someone who spent so long alternating running from and chasing death, she’d have put more thought into what might came after. Hawke stands staring up at the smooth, frozen face of the statue, waiting to feel—anything. Shadows shift and flicker in the candlelight, the oppressive silence slowly filling the room like an omen. That part of her died with Bethany, she thinks, though she didn’t realize it until years later. But that moment was when her heart first truly broke, rent asunder from an ogre’s blow with a wound that never fully healed. Whoever she’d been before—and whatever that young girl had believed—had slowly leaked away in the following years. She doesn’t dwell on it much, but she thought maybe now, maybe with the shadow of her own death following so closely at her heels, some flicker of faith might have returned. But not even the memory of her sister’s name brings more than quiet regret, over ten years later. Over half the life she’d managed to live. Instead of kneeling, she turns from Andraste’s stony gaze, and flees back into the night.

i DO every now and then think about posting a chapter or two. but the last chapter i uploaded ends on a kind of peaceful/high note compared to uh the kind of cliffhangers/tension I usually leave things at, so it would feel meaner to put something up and then perhaps not follow up on it for another year if it came to that. also its easy to post continually in the first half of a story where you're just opening new doors/threads but less so for the second half when i need to be tying things up alas. i think it'll be better if i just finish it out so i can edit things more comprehensively and Then post the rest... or at least have a more cohesive first draft. but yes! there is More, i still care deeply about where my Hawke's story goes, and want to make sure there's coherent follow through on the various plot elements I set up early on.

[luchicm04]

lost in the forest - part 33

Masterlist

Summary: A glimpse of how the other characters see what is happening and what they think about it.

Pairing: Senju Tobirama/Original Female Character

Tag: #lost in the forest fic

posted on ao3

Word Count: 3.1k

Sorry for the delay!! I've been real busy with school and my personal life. Also, I've been uploading a lot of stuff to my recent tumblr account if you want to check it out. Anyway, thanks for reading and please like/reblog :3

Overall warnings: canon-typical violence, adult content, time skips, angst

The engagement has not made his routine change significantly; his work is ordinary between bureaucracy, processes and numbers that have long been entrusted to him, leaving aside the classified and shinobi matters. Hashirama is a person who has been able to give a start to that woman.  

At first it was curiosity, then dept for the treatment they gave her when she was just an unexpected traveler from such a faraway place. Karen is not ordinary... not like the other kunoichis, much less like the civilian women he has dealt with.  

She is noble without being too noble, organized, intelligent and attentive.  

With her common terrors... with her way of overcoming things.  

He has been watching her since she arrived... and he can’t help but feel that his heart is tightening with an emotion that he keeps deep inside his heart from the eyes of inexperienced people... from her. But not from Madara, who arches his eyebrow in amusement at him in his sullen way, observing him carefully after a meeting.  

Karen had left with an attentive Tobirama, willing to continue with her own work and review the agreements that he had asked her to give them a new perspective. The Hyūga was trying to join with certain conditions, and both the Nara clan and its allies had also begun to seek the benefits of this alliance.  

But that was the least of his worries. “Don’t say anything.”  

“For the Sage’s sake... you are stupidly obvious,” Madara rolls his eyes crossing his arms, sitting there in his office with a sadistic look, having fun at the expense of his feelings.  

He doesn’t blame him... but this just makes him huff.  

“...” Hashirama does not give him any comments.  

“Tell me, are you really not going to do anything?”  

“No.”  

“Tobirama sees your intentions.”  

“They are not bad.”  

“I know, but seriously... friend?” he mocks with a light laugh. “Even Izuna told me about the engagement. For a moment he thought that you...”  

“I will not leave Mito.”  

“I know, but...” he snorts slightly. “It wouldn’t be not rare for you to have... lovers.”  

“My father never had children outside of his marriage with my mother.”  

“Yes, but nobles usually do it.”  

“As you said, nobles. We are shinobis... there is no point in overthinking things.”  

“Mmm... you’re an idiot.”  

“I’m not.”  

“However, I won’t judge you if it benefits my clan. The alliance with the Uzumaki will give strength to our bases, with your marriage.”  

“Mmmm...”  

“That’s why you haven’t left her, right?”  

“Madara... don’t go there.” He gets a little depressed seeing how his friend knows him so well. “Tobi... he promised to protect her.”  

“Are you satisfied with that?”  

“That’s enough for me.”  

“If you say so,” Madara shrugs. “As long as she marries into our clans, that’s fine. Karen-san has shown to have a good head, even though she is a civilian... with interesting concepts.”  

“I told you.”  

“Izuna feels that she is too unrealistic, and the council is still upset about adding her in external consultancies.” He said the last part awkwardly given how new the word is in the vocabulary of the passionate clan. “But her points have denoted the capital leak.”  

“Yes.” He is proud of those optimistic comments.  

“I hate you for marrying her into your clan... I’d rather have her within mine.”  

“Madara.”  

“What? I’m not lying. Your move in front of the Daimyo to promise her to your brother was smart. If I had been faster... I assure you, Izuna wouldn’t let anything hurt her.”  

“...” Hashirama frowns, not being able to Karen marrying into another clan other than his own.  

“But that’s not the point,” the man with wild hair raises his hands with an amused laugh. “If something happens...”  

“You already said that.”  

“It’s just an idle comment,” the cheeky Uchiha accepts, proceeding to focus on reviewing some missions requested for them to work together.  

Tobirama and Izuna will soon go on another mission. Hashirama is sure he could handle it for now, until someone else is able to cope with the hatred that still lingers.  

Teamwork is difficult... but he believes in a future where they will be able to cooperate.  

He smiles. Hashirama sees that this dream is so notorious... and if it weren’t for her, he wouldn’t have achieved it in the best way. His friend is now his ally, formerly his enemy... he laughs internally.  

And even if he can’t marry her... having her working by his side is not so bad, even if it hurts his heart... even if he wanted more, he wouldn’t do anything... because he is faithful to his word and Mito deserves his respect.  

She has waited so long for him.  

He knows.  

She loves him.  

Although he... doesn’t know how to feel about it.  

──

Tobirama accompanies her. Many of the clan whisper, but do not have the courage to point out anything even though the engagement was long awaited by so many. Him, not so much, taking care of everything since Karen is not usually very observant in details outside of regular work.  

She is incredibly intelligent and organized, but when it comes to things like the engagement and surely the wedding, she is not so excited about carrying it out... and in some ways, it bothers him.  

But he won’t say anything.  

“You know you don’t have to come with me.” Karen brings him out of his thoughts with her light voice and a snort worthy of someone tired of his presence. That tone irritates him, but he only raises his eyebrow. “The garden is not that far away. And Kaori just needs some tomatoes and vegetables.”  

“I have time.”  

The civilian rolls her eyes. “By the way, Mito-san mentioned that the fabric is finally ready.”  

“Mmmm...”  

“She said Mrs. Kyoko will be excited by the quality and softness it possesses.”  

“The yukata... is important.”  

“I know,” the woman shrugs. “At least it will be comfortable.”  

“You could have more of that fabric. I shall tell them to make everyday clothes for you.”  

“There’s no need.”  

“...” Tobirama doesn’t say anything. He will ask for extra clothes for the girl anyway... even though she is modest, it is normal for her to want more yukatas.  

“Tobirama, I’m serious.”  

“We have a lot of fabric.”  

“Will you also get more for you?” she asks, looking at him from top to bottom. The shinobi is unfazed because his standard clothing is all black. He is only missing his usual armor, which he has begun to stop using within the compound and the alliance region.  

Of course, he is still waiting to be attacked by some Uchiha, but the few he has seen outside their area only look at him with slight tones of revenge that they do not dare to carry out due to the value of the contract with their clan leader.  

He still hasn’t gotten very used to this peace.  

However, his brother has managed to make the change.  

“I am fine like this,” he replies with a dry tone.  

“Seriously... won’t you be wearing more comfortable clothes at home?” the woman questions his appearance with an incredulous tone. Tobirama remains thoughtful at the mention of ‘home’ but keeps it to himself.  

“I do not need it.”  

“Well... if you buy me more, you will also make matching ones for yourself,” the girl states easily. “If not, then... I won’t accept the new yukatas.”  

“That is not something you can decide.”  

“Come on... You have decided everything about the house, the wedding and engagement date... at least let me have a say in your clothes.” Her tone is irritated, but he sees that the woman stores much of the bitterness that she wants to let out.  

Sometimes Tobirama wonders when he stopped wanting to dissect the girl and became so accustomed to her presence that he began to read her very well, and what her life must have been like before reaching this point.  

Nevertheless, he won’t ask. It’s not his business, even when he sees her so sad...  

It bothers him.  

“Do what you want,” he bites bitterly.  

“Yes!” she applauds amused, starting to plan to visit Kyoko together. He rolls his eyes. He is not interested in being part of her own agenda, but he allows himself to be dragged... at least to the garden, where many greet them.  

He feels comfortable. People no longer treat her badly, not even as a foreigner, so he leaves her after a while of making sure that things will go well.  

He doesn’t know how, but he always ends up getting involved in things that should interest him little.  

Whatever... Tobirama decided to go back.  

Being added to a mission with that stupid Izuna wasn’t strange. The strange thing was that he didn’t want to leave.  

At least, he hopes to finish before his brother’s wedding.  

He wants to be on time.  

──

Kaori was the caretaker of the boys of the main line, from the time Butsuma was in charge until his eldest son rose imposingly as the undisputed leader of the clan. Such a strong man...  

She is so proud of him... almost like his mother would have been.  

Unfortunately, Rukia didn’t live long after the birth of her last child.  

“Kaori-san?” someone calls, taking her out of her thoughts, which makes her blink to focus on that civilian that she has welcomed as her new charge at the request of her adorable leader and his brother.  

“Oh, good morning,” she greets with a soft smile.  

“Is there something wrong?”  

“Nothing is wrong, Karen-san,” the old woman assures with a motherly smile. “Have you already had your measurements taken?”  

“Yes. Thank goodness Kyoko-san knows Tobirama’s,” she laughs amused by some strange memory that she surely had with the man. Who would have thought that she would be so attentive to send him to prepare matching yukatas.  

Although she is not sure that Tobirama is comfortable with it, because she knows how stubborn he is and how used he is to being in his war clothing. At least he has stopped using the armor as he always did.  

A pleasant change that she suspects the civilian has a lot to do with.  

“Yes, I am sure he would not go on his own.”  

“I know.”  

“By the way, how did you convince him?” she asks curiously with a gesture to the civilian who continues her way to the kitchen. Soon it would be time to eat, so they both usually spend time in that place.  

It is larger than in the previous house and surely Hashirama’s brother prepared it knowing his future wife’s quirks... cute from her point of view.  

“Oh, that’s not a strange story,” the girl says with a simple laugh. At least she has left that depression about missing her family... one that she tried hard to hide, but this old woman has years of experience as a nanny and a capable kunoichi.  

She is easy to read.  

“It is not?” she encourages her curiosity to be calmed.  

“Well, he said he would make me yukatas.”  

“Oh really?”  

“Yes. I told him no, unless he made some for himself.”  

The olw woman laughs amusedly, conforming something she has been thinking for a while. “Oh... that would have not worked before.”  

“No?”  

“No. He is very obstinate.”  

“I’ve noticed it.”  

“At least he listened to you.”  

“Yeah. Also, the Daimyo and Mito have brought a lot of fabric. I’m thinking about making yukatas for Matsuo, Mikami and you, too.”  

“Not at all. That would be a waste for the bride and groom, so keep the fabric to yourselves.”  

“Uh?”  

“It is a tradition that what is given is for the use of the family... which I hope grows soon,” she says, imagining small children around the beautiful patio that has been arranged for the civilian.  

Her maternal and grandmotherly instincts are thrilled, so much so that she ignores the woman’s tension over such a comment.  

Excited for the future...  

Butsuma and Rukia would be proud of this... She prefers to think so.  

──

Mikami owes her so much despite their sullen beginning. Teaching etiquette classes, she became her appreciated and valued person... like a sister who is willing to protect her from everything that could hurt her.  

Even if she doesn’t realize that she is supporting her, she will have her back.  

So, she did not avoid looking with slight doubt at the woman with a sad expression on the edge of the river that runs so close. It is not strange to find her here thinking. Kaori lets her be despite the dangers around.  

Despite the years, the trauma makes her doubt anyone of the opposite gender.  

“You should not be alone,” she scolds lightly, starting to walk towards the rock which is being occupied by the civilian. She blinks in recognition.  

“Uh... Kaori-san told me it was fine.”  

“I know, but you have to be careful. Not everyone is like Hashirama-sama and the others.”  

“You almost sound like Tobirama.”  

“Do I?”  

“He told me the same thing... but with more jabs,” she laughs carefully, as clear as she usually is, and strong in her own way that makes her proud.  

“Mph... He will be your husband. It is normal that he cares for you.”  

“Yeah.” She seems indifferent to the marriage.  

“Now that Kaori-san is not here, you know you can tell me what really worries you,” she points out because her engagement is so strange, considering their previous interactions and how she is.  

Although she is oblivious to the feelings of her leader’s brother, she knows her friend is oblivious to love.  

She never saw her fall in love with anyone even though the council was persistent in caging her. That it was Tobirama who managed to do it is not abnormal, considering their work together, but it still seems weird and sudden.  

No matter how many years have passed since he met her... there is still something missing.  

“What are you talking about?”  

“Your marriage,” the kunoichi states directly. “And the appearance of the Daimyo.”  

“Uh...”  

“It has something to do with it, right?”  

“...” Karen looks at the sky from a distance. The noise of the river is relaxing while the forest dances to the sound of that soft summer air. “I... I don’t know what to tell you.”  

“The truth.”  

“I can¡t.”  

“...”  

“That’s the only thing I can tell you. Hashirama assured me that it was better if only a few people knew.”  

“I see.” She sees the tension in the girl’s gesture... and even with those little words, she understands what this is about. A false engagement? A lie? She may not notice it, but she knows that Tobirama... might not be indifferent to it.  

For a moment, though, she thought that Hashirama would break his engagement with the princess of Uzu for the civilian.  

Perhaps she imagined it.  

“By the way... Matsuo-kun?”  

“He is now beginning to train his chakra system.” Bitterly, she wrinkles her nose at the treatment of that man’s family towards her son.  

Karen doesn’t say anything.  

“I am working on it. It is not that bad,” she tries to convince her friend when she noticed her annoyance. Her ways are still unusual in her eyes, but not odd within the clan.  

Even if he was punished... seeing her son reminds her of Ryu’s sin.  

“I’m sorry I reminded you of something so sad.”  

“Do not worry... it is something I have to overcome, right?”  

“...”  

“For Matsuo,” the kunoichi accepts with a laugh to sit next to her. The river is not such a bad place to relax and rethink what she will do next since soon, together with other women, they will begin working on missions paired with the Uchiha clan.  

She is scared... she wants revenge... but she left that behind a long time ago to carve a path without war for her little one.  

He does not deserve to grow up in fear of dying so young, like her brothers... like her cousins... like her parents.  

A world of peace that her friend has achieved together with her leaders, a dream she never thought she could have and hold on to... getting rid of the bitterness of working with her former enemies.  

For their happiness.  

──

Around the patio, Karen looks at the girl who is on the verge of collapse. Mito is such an expressive woman that since she declared that they will be something akin to sisters, she became highly eloquent, making her laugh as their integration becomes natural.  

She doesn’t know what to feel, because she doesn’t know what to feel about her upcoming wedding either.  

But that’s the least of it.  

“Come on, Mito-san. Everything will be alright.”  

“I... my brother and father have not arrived!” the redhead exclaims. Koari easily brings some tea to chuckle amused and disappear on the spot.  

“They will be arriving soon, no?”  

“Well, yes,” she huffs. “But Tobirama is also missing. That idiotic Hashirama sent him on a mission.”  

“It was necessary.”  

Mito frowns to mutter other things under her breath.  

“Come, sit and have some tea,” she says while sipping another bit of her drink. Things have been so calm and with tentative alliances coming... life isn’t so bad.  

She reflexes lightly with the weight of the marriage beginning to take root in her conscience. With Tobirama’s words that day... it is more enjoyable, although she still feels the sadness of remembering her family.  

More so considering her next birthday...  

Mito still remains her elegant self, taking a sip of the hot drink. “I cannot get enough of this tea.”  

“It’s good. Madara-san brought it the last time he came.”  

“Does Madara-san visit you?”  

“Not much. Only when he is passing by or when he leaves a meeting, really.”  

“Oh...”  

“Why?”  

“Well, you will marry Tobirama.”  

“Yes,” she blinks without understanding what the problem was.  

“You are a civilian.”  

“Uh-huh.”  

“Wow... it shows that you do not see the issue in this.”  

“There is nothing wrong in that.”  

“Maybe not where you come from,” Mito giggles amused. “You are engaged. Having a friendship with someone like Madara...”  

“I see.” Karen reflects on the comment logically, taking into account the culture in which she is participating. “He is a good friend.”  

“I know that they extended protection to you as a clan,” Mito admits. “I must say that I did not expect that from the Uchiha.”  

“Really?”  

“Yes. They have almost adopted you.”  

“...Tobirama didn’t explain it to me like that.”  

“Well... he will probably tell you another way,” the woman says amused. “For a civilian, you have many alliances.”  

Karen doesn’t reply anything. She looks at the stars a little more without thinking enough about things... it’s for the best.  

For now, she will remain expectant about what comes from the future... an uncertain one.  

A/N: An external chapter with different points of view. I hope you enjoy it. Hashirama’s wedding will be here soon, an awaited event along with other things.

As you can see, many have different opinions regarding Karen. Some are better than others, but no one is willing to let her go any time soon, and she doesn’t realize it.

What will happen? Will Karen notice? Will Hashirama do something? Will Tobirama clarify his strange feelings, or will he continue to deny it? Although I’m sure he hasn’t even realized it... because of how annoying it is to accept something he doesn’t want and he never thought he would have, even though he was forced to go along with this engagement.

Covering him with his duty to this peace that his brother has worked so hard for... There’s no one more blind than he who refuses to see, isn’t that right?

Thanks for your comments.

Author-chan out!