#still figuring out precisely what feels Right when I draw him. not sure we are all the way there yet but these came together well enough | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

le-fruit-de-la-passion · 3 years ago

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NSFW Alphabet - Viktor

As promised for my 800 followers celebration, a NSFW alphabet for Viktor, with a twist ❤! Instead of simple descriptions, each letter is its own separate small ficlet... Enjoy 💕

A = Aftercare

"Viktor, it's ok!"

"It is not! It is very much not "ok"!"

You watched him fuss with amusement around your bedroom, stark naked, his cane tapping the floor anxiously.

"I hurt you !" he spat out.

"It's not your fault," you answered gently, reaching for him from the bed. He recoiled, staring at the floor guiltily. "I should have known better. I did not want our first time to go like this."

You tugged on his arm gently, and he looked up, golden eyes uncharacteristically apprehensive. You smiled, caressing his shoulder tenderly, feeling him relax under your touch. "You have to admit it's pretty funny you're so big you made me cry."

His eyebrows furrowed: "I did not think it was very funny at the time, no. The bleeding wasn't much fun either."

You laughed softly.

"We just have to prep a little more, that's all." You kissed his arm lightly, staring up into his worried eyes. "We can try later again today."

He seemed hesitant, but didn't pull away as you got up to pepper his shoulder with kisses. "Are you… sure? Truly?"

You nodded, leaving another kiss against his neck. You finally captured his lips, reassuring him. When you pulled away, the fear had gone from his eyes. He had been scared; genuinely scared, more than he had ever been about his own health, at the idea of ever harming you. You squeezed his shoulder gently.

"Let me at least bring you sweet milk from the common room. As an apology."

You smiled, giving him one last kiss before sitting back on the bed.

"Sure. I'd like that."

He headed towards the apartment door, hand already on the handle before you stopped him in alarm.

"Viktor !"

"Yes, dearest ?"

"You're naked."

He looked down in surprise, a light blush instantly coloring on his pale cheeks.

"Ah. You… you would be right."

B = Body parts

"You called out for the Gods, earlier."

You turned to Viktor sleepily, much more lucid amber eyes locking deeply into yours. His body had been so warm and comforting, huddled close against yours, that you had drifted off on your own.

"A testament to your bedroom skills," you smiled sleepily, caressing his face with your hand. "Nothing more."

He hummed, detaching your fingers from his face and interlocking them with his. His cock lazily poked your thigh, still wet from your mixed juices; neither of you acted on it.

"I have never been one for religion," he stated softly. "But I must admit that… when I touch your body, a certain doubt lingers in my mind."

His other hand moved to the curve of your neck, long fingers tracing veins under the skin with assiduous precision. A slight shiver ran through your tired muscles as they trailed down, circling a nipple covered in purple marks. His eyes never left yours: he didn't need to look where he was touching, like he knew your whole body by heart.

"Nothing this perfect could have been made by nature alone."

C = Cum

"Ah…"

Viktor hummed as he pulled out, watching attentively as his cum started pooling out of you, mixing with your own release. You whined quietly at the loss, already missing the proximity of his body as he sat up to observe what he had made of you.

"There is no prettier sight than to see it come out of you," he whispered adoringly, gently smearing the juices onto your inner legs. "Except perhaps the expression you make when it is in you."

His fingers kept pensively painting your thighs with his release, almost as if he was writing notes onto your skin. You peered down, drowsy but curious, as his hand kept drawing on the tired muscles: "What are you writing?"

"The number Pi," he explained with a slight smirk. "In its entirety, of course. It has been coming up often in my work recently. I figure there is enough here for the first 20 digits, give or take. After that…" he trailed on, visibly enjoying your whimpers as a long finger teased your overworked entrance, "we might need more materials."

D = Dirty secret

It was warm.

More than warm, it was hot. Viktor was never one for extreme temperatures; the frigid cold of Piltover's winters made his leg ache in pain, and the boiling summers of Zaun made the toxic fumes even stronger than usual. The academy was under such a curse that night, excruciating warmth filling the halls after the ventilation systems had broken down. For all intents and purposes, it should have been annoying but achievable to work in these conditions. That was until the heat got so intense, materials started slipping out of Viktor's hands, falling right onto the concrete floor and shattering into millions of irreparable pieces.

At the third broken beaker, he groaned in frustration, glaring at his moist palms accusingly and at the clock looming over his work desk. Three am. In six hours, he had barely managed to make any progress.

Time he would not get back.

More upset than he would admit to himself, he shoved his notes off the table, grabbing his cane and muttering his way up to your chambers. For every step he made, the heat only seemed to increase, and when he finally reached your door, it was drenched in sweat and quite possibly even more annoyed than when he had left.

There was something undeniably calming about seeing you in his bed, sleeping, as if none of his work and miseries could enter your little bubble. He took off his wet clothes, only keeping his underwear as he sat on the bed, ready to begrudgingly settle in for the night. He slid the thin covers off you, and his eyes widened.

You were naked.

Fully, entirely, completely naked. A pleased little smile glued on your lips, you slept on without a care in the world. In all likelihood, you had just assumed he wouldn't come back for the night and slept in the nude for a little air. And in theory, you would have been right: if not for how frustrated he was, Viktor would have never left the lab that night. In practice, however, Viktor was tired, and frustrated, and warm, and hard.

He slid a careful hand between your thighs, the soft skin there drenched in sweat; you didn't even stir. He worked the flesh with his fingers, studying your sleeping form for any reaction. When none came, he pressed himself slightly against you, his cloated cock pushing onto your ass, his skin boiling.

It felt good.

He cursed under his breath, dizzy, pushing off his underwear and letting his length slip between your thighs. The temperature was scorching, unforgiving, and he closed his eyes shut as he started moving, the sweat between your inner legs letting his cock slide easily. He moved fast, with purpose, grabbing your hips roughly to reach his release quicker. You shifted a little, making a small whimper, but he continued, relentless, mind sizzling with that unbearable warmth. He thought of the experiment failing, he thought about the lack of support from the council, from Heimerdinger, from Jayce. He thought of his own death, and he thought of your smile.

He came, wordlessly, only letting a small grunt escape as he covered you with his release. He felt calmer now, as if his mind had cleared of the fog of warmth. He pulled out gently, cleaning you with a pocket tissue on the bedside table.

"Viktor…"

He froze, startled, looking at you with surprise. But your eyes were still closed, your breathing still even, the same loving smile tugging on your lips.

Tonight could stay his little secret for now.

E = Experience

"I may not have as much practice as people you've been with before," Viktor whispered against your neck, "but I can guarantee I'm the better student."

His fingers hit that same damned spot again, making you clench desperately against them.

"A-are you now ?"

You could feel his confident smirk against your skin, and his digits moved again, relentless, rubbing your walls with better precision than you ever had on yourself.

"Every time," he hummed, mouth finding your neck's pulse instinctively and sucking onto it, "I see something that makes you whine," he slipped another finger in, making you cry out like on command, "I commit it to memory. As a true scientist should, after all."

F = Favorite position

"Top. Quickly."

"As you wish, sir." you purred, not missing the way the word made his cock stir under his tight dress pants. "I'm not on top of your class for nothing."

Carefully, you pushed his cushioned chair away from his work desk, climbing onto his lap. His hands never left you, lingering as you moved and settling almost automatically on your hips, grabbing them approvingly.

"Obedient, and clever." he smiled, caressing the skin under your academy skirt softly. "My perfect student."

G = Goofy

"Stop laughing."

"I'm sorry- I can't-!"

You burst into laughter again, and Viktor's ears went red, slim arms crossing over his naked chest.

"You thought- you thought Jayce and I-"

"The possibility was there !" he protested.

"He kept touching your back for the entire duration of the gala !"

You giggled uncontrollably, wiping away a tear from your eye. He made a sound of disapproval, looking away in embarrassment. You tried reaching for him as he pulled away, getting off the bed and reaching for his cane.

"C'mon, come on, Viktor, I'm sorry. Come back."

He glanced back at you, eyes narrowing. "Truly ?"

"Yes, I promise. I'm sorry."

He examined you for a moment before sitting back onto the bed and climbing over you, stopping only to rest his forehead against yours.

"It is rather impolite to laugh when one is trying to be intimate," he said coolly, eyes dark. The embarrassed blush wasn't gone, but there was no mistaking the mood your outburst has put him in. "We'll have to correct that, won't we ?"

H - Hair

"You know," Viktor started, looking at his naked form in the foggy bathroom mirror, "I do wish I had a little more hair down…there."

You followed him out of the shower, the cold air of the outside world harshly hitting your wet skin. You shivered, looping your arms over his slim shoulders for warmth, glancing at the area he was eyeing wearily: "Why ?"

His hand trailed his bony hip uncertainly, grazing his spent cock from your activities in the shower, inspecting the bare skin there with doubt. "My body is not very… masculine. Strong," he sighed, absentmindedly toying with the little chestnut curls at the base of his length. "It is not very becoming."

You hummed, your hands trailing his bare chest, the hairless skin there marked by the brace he usually wore over it. You followed the scars with practiced ease, letting your fingers finally rest right above his heart. "I don't agree," you said, chest flush against his back. "I think it's very practical."

He looked back at you skeptically in the mirror.

"How so ?"

"Well, for one," you smiled, gently turning his body around and falling slowly to your knees. "It's much easier for this."

You kissed the tip of his cock, and he shivered, eyebrows shooting up. You took more of him in your mouth, glancing at him playfully as his breathing grew labored before pulling off with a loud pop.

"Don't you agree ?"

Whatever moment of uncertainty had hit him was gone, replaced by the self-assured gaze of the man you knew. His hands went to the sides of your head, holding you firmly in place as a confident smile tugged on his lips.

"I believe I require further convincing."

I = Intimacy

"This gala is a travesty."

You handed Viktor a glass of champagne which he begrudgingly accepted, sipping at it with frustration.

"It is a waste of our time. We could be back in the lab, making things that actually matter. Instead, we have to watch Piltover's finest, patting themselves on the back for their supposed great accomplishments."

You loosened his tie with a gentle finger, caressing his neck in comfort.

"I know. But we have to be here for Jayce. He needs us."

As if on cue, a boisterous laugh echoed from behind you as Jayce exchanged seemingly hilarious pleasantries with the rest of the council.

"He does not look like he needs either of us, if you ask for my opinion." He grumbled, downing the rest of his champagne. He discarded the glass on a table filled to the brim with extravagant desserts and an enormous cake ornate with a terrifyingly accurate rendition of Jayce's face, and you thought Viktor might be right.

"He doesn't need us," you conceded, "so why don't we go have some fun on our own ?"

You let your hand slide down his back, settling against his ass and giving a tight squeeze. He bit down a yelp just in time, lips closing into a thin line. You moved closer against him, moving your lips against his ear: "The balcony is closed off for the day. We can be in and out in five minutes, and no one will ever have noticed."

His eyes grew dark in a way you knew by heart, his hand snaking tightly around yours over his firm cheek.

"You are dangerous when you speak to me like this. More than you are aware."

His accent got thicker when he spoke like this, electric, and you bit your lip in anticipation.

"But it is not what I want for tonight."

To your surprise, he brought your joint hands close to his chest, gently kissing the knuckles.

"Let me bring you back to your room. Draw us a bath, have our fun there in our own time. And steal some of this," he said, glaring at the humongous pastry of the Man of Tomorrow, "monstrosity, and talk the night away. The two of us, alone together."

You smiled, not missing how the lust hadn't gone from his eyes, bringing your lips to his hand as he had done in response.

"Lead the way."

J = Jack off

It had to be on purpose.

Viktor glanced up from his notes to look behind him; it was there. Like every night for weeks now.

He couldn't remember exactly when you'd taken up the habit of dropping your coat on his chair. He must have gotten thinner, he assumed, and you had taken pity of his slimming shoulders and hollow cheeks. But some part of him hoped you had left it on purpose, so he could catch the smell of your perfume when he worked late into the night. That you had left it for yourself just as much as for him.

At this hour, his thoughts always mixed with the scent of flowers from the fabric over his shoulders, calculations replaced by something that was so purely, uniquely, you. But tonight was different; for the first time since this little ritual had become, he touched the coat, taking it into his careful hands and bringing it to his face. It was soft, delicate, like he thought your skin would be.

"Fuck," he thought, glancing frustratingly at his other hand and the way it had unconsciously gotten inside his pants. He would not be able to go back to work before settling the more pressing issue. He palmed himself over his boxers, the conscious of what he was doing electric through his body. Slowly, he pulled his cock out, spitting his hand before rubbing his length, your coat held tightly against his chest. He closed his eyes, reveling in the scent, pumping his cock with weeks of pent-up frustration. He had wanted this for so long.

He was so engrossed in the sensation, panting into the soft fabric as he approached his release, that he never heard you open the lab's door and come up behind him.

"Viktor ?"

K = Kink

"Are you done ?"

"Almost, sweet thing. Almost."

He petted your head, gently scratching behind your ear, and you took his cock back in your mouth wordlessly, letting it rest against your tongue. Your knees hurt. How long had it been?

You couldn't see his bedroom's clock from where you were sitting, but by the way the sun's light had dimmed, certainly more than two hours. But you wouldn't break first.

As if he had read your mind, Viktor moved slightly, finally looking at you after hours of sketching machinery.

"You are quite determined, aren't you ?"

You hummed in agreement around his length, pushing the tip against the inside of your cheek. He let out a small whimper, eyes fluttering, and you felt pride blossom inside you.

"But your efforts are misguided. I intended to stay here until I have finished my work, regardless of your… distractions."

You looked up defyingly, and when you spoke, you made sure he saw how it was with some of his dick still in your mouth.

"I'm not going anywhere."

L = Location

"This is extremely bad for my back."

"And yet you're already hard."

Viktor glared at you as you grinded playfully over his hard cock, your wetness barely hidden by your skirt. The lab chair creaked under your combined weights, threatening to give out at any moment.

"A biological reaction to the sight of you. It has nothing to do with being in the lab."

You smiled, clearly unconvinced, pushing his first few inches into you as he hissed.

"Really ?"

He grabbed the edge of the table for support as you took him fully in, nestling comfortably against him.

"I think you like the idea of doing it here. I think this feels even more personal for you. Fucking me in your little workspace."

You started moving up and down his cock, rhythmically, smiling wider every time his breath would hitch.

"The bed is much more comfortable," he grumbled against your neck.

"And yet you're not denying you like it here."

A metallic noise echoed in the room, and you both froze. Viktor's heart pounded against yours with panic, but neither of you missed the way he had twitched inside you.

"If I denied it," he whispered, grabbing your waist and slowly moving you up and down his cock, "I would be lying."

M = Motivation

Viktor waited patiently until you turned the page for him, fingers trembling.

"Viktor, I can't…"

"Where is the steam generator located ?"

You whimpered as he dragged his cock outside you impossibly slowly, your fingernails digging into his arms.

"It's too much, I can't…"

You looked at him pleadingly, humping the air above his length so he'd come back into your desperate heat. But Viktor stayed impassive, as if he was completely unbothered, holding your physics manual with the hands you wished so desperately would touch you.

"You said you required motivation for your studies. If this is not about questioning your knowledge, I will leave."

You swallowed with difficulty, trying to collect your thoughts as all of your body screamed to make him fuck you into the bed.

"Next- next to the reactor."

A small smile bypassed his cold facade, and he finally pushed his length back into you as you cried out his name.

"We only have ten more questions to go through. I will think about fucking you after that."

He would be the death of you before you even got to that exam.

N = No

"No."

Viktor grabbed his crutch, trying and failing to hide how much it hurt him to simply get up.

"I will not let you do this. Not for me."

"Viktor," you said firmly. You were too far away for him to do anything fast enough; you'd have ingested the shimmer before he even got over to you. And clearly, he was aware of that, his eyes burning with desperation. He whimpered pleadingly as you brought the vial to your lips.

"You absolute idiot. Everything I do is for you."

You swallowed. You felt the world grow dark, your legs buckling under an invisible pressure, purple washing over your vision. Viktor was next to you in an instant, falling on his knees next to you in panic. His hands cradled your face, cold, warm, overwhelming.

"You are the idiot," he whispered, voice broken. Something wet hit your cheek, and you wondered absentmindedly if you had made him cry. "How are you feeling ?"

When your voice came out, it sounded different, alien.

"Good."

A second later, you grabbed his head and pulled it down violently, smashing your lips against his. He recoiled in surprise, but you didn't let him move, keeping him firmly in place with a strength that wasn't your own. You bit his lip, drawing blood, reveling in its taste and he responded weakly, barely managing to keep up with you. It felt like a parody of your usual intimacy, your body not feeling like your own, craving his touch, his warmth, him. When you finally pulled away, he was panting.

"The shimmer…" he started, swallowing with difficulty, "has obviously altered your mental state. This was not a good idea."

"We have lost the luxury of good ideas a long time ago, Viktor," you answered, feeling the drug course through your veins. "We need to figure out if the shimmer is viable for your body. There is no better test than with mine."

O = Oral

"Mmm…"

You moaned in approval as Viktor sucked harder on your clit, hands lost in his chestnut locks. You teased the baby hairs at the base of his neck, twirling them between your fingers, and he hummed in answer, his tongue working faster against you.

"Harder…" you breathed out.

"Harder ?" he repeated, sounding amused. He gave a few kittens licks against your entrance, and you groaned in frustration, staring daggers into the mop of brown hair between your legs.

"Harder."

"Your wish is my command," he replied with humor, lips finally going back to your clit as you sighed in satisfaction.

And then, he bit.

You hissed in surprise at the sensation, grabbing a fistful off his hair roughly. He let out a curse between your thighs and you immediately let go, frantically apologizing: "I'm so sorry! That just- that felt really good, and it just came out of nowhere-"

He squeezed your thigh, and you fell silent, eyeing the unmoving head of hair worriedly. Slowly, he rose up, letting you see his face: juices dripped on his chin, drops peppering his aquiline nose. But it was his expression that made your heart stop.

He didn't look hurt, or mad, or frustrated.

He looked pleased.

He gently took your hand, directing back over his head and into his hair, his eyes burning with something dark. When he spoke, it was just above a whisper, lustful. Pleading.

"Do it again."

P = Pace

"It's a little slow, don't you think ?"

The gloved claw pounded mechanically into you, and you bit down a moan as Viktor observed your reactions like a hawk.

"It's-it's not bad."

"I rather enjoy a slower pacing," he commented. He fiddled with the hex claw remote, a smirk dancing on his lips. "But it seems to me as we should test the full potential of the hex claw. Crank the speed up a little. Don't you agree ?"

Q = Quickie

"This is nightmarish."

You huffed in annoyance, tearing the decomposing plants off the hexcore, glancing at your partner's defeated figure.

"We'll figure it out, Viktor. Maybe with a different combination of runes-"

"We've tried all of them !" he snapped, thumping his crutch against the floor in frustration. You looked at him pointedly, and he sighed, sitting at his desk tiredly.

"I'm sorry. I should not have yelled." The main tower's clock rang outside the window, a reminder of just how long you had been at work.

"It has gotten so late already," Viktor said, and something in his voice sounded melancholic as if each ringing of the bell took away a little more of his will. You observed him for a moment, his body sinking into the chair, before you walked over to him decidedly, slipping under his desk.

He looked at you cautiously, but an undeniable glimmer of curiosity shone in his eyes. "What are you doing ?"

You licked your lips, opening his zipper with your teeth. You pulled out his soft cock, resting your wet lips against the tip.

"Letting you calm down. I'll be quick." You looked at him from under your eyelashes, waiting patiently for his approval. He stared at you silently, amber eyes burning into you as if weighing your proposal, before giving you a curt nod. You didn't wait a moment, taking most of his cock in one swoop, knowing he wouldn't humor you for long before wanting to get back to work.

Viktor sighed, muttering numbers under his breath. He relaxed slowly, hands falling lazily into your hair, his eyes closing peacefully. "I hadn't considered it before but... if we install a cooling unit around the hexcore, we might prevent it from overheating and destroying the biological material it hosts... it could work."

You made a sound of agreement against him, swirling your tongue against the sensitive skin in praise. He looked at you in pure admiration, gently pushing you off his cock to look into your eyes.

"Astounding. Maybe you should do this every time we reach a dead end."

"Unfortunately, you don't make mistakes very often," you smiled, licking a bead of precum off him before getting up from under the desk. "Now, let's get back to it."

R = Risk

"Viktor, this is a bad idea."

"Really?" Viktor smirked, pulling down his zipper, pants flush against your bare ass. "And yet, I remember you telling me how much you wanted the council to go screw themselves."

The council chambers were eerie this time of night, the large meeting table Viktor had you bent against dark and imposing. His cock prodded your entrance, and you moaned quietly. He chuckled, his breath teasing the back of your neck as his tip entered your folds.

"Is this not the next best thing ?"

He pushed a few more inches, body hot against yours, and you couldn't help letting out a strangled moan. Your nails scratched the polished table desperately as he nestled inside you, leaving light marks into the wood.

"If- ah- if Jayce comes in late-" you panted.

"Hush," Viktor shushed, a thin hand playfully covering your mouth. "It is not very nice to say the name of another man while in bed." His hips moved quickly, pumping out of you and right back in, making you gasp around his fingers as he let out another breathless laugh: "Or on table, as it may."

S = Stamina

"Dearest…" Viktor panted, rutting against your hand. "You will kill me."

"Now, that would be a shame," you smiled, fighting your grip against his cock as he whimpered. "You haven't cummed in me yet."

"But I have on you, twice." he exhaled cheeks an impossible tinge of red. His eyes were lidded, almost rolled back into their sockets and full of unshed tears. His mouth was agape, drying drool covering his chin, and you thought there was no better expression on him than absolutely fucked out. His hips moved weekly into your fist, his thighs trembling.

"I believe if-" he started, interrupting himself to breathe with difficulty, "if you make me do it again, my bones might shatter in pieces."

"Mm..." you commented absentmindedly. You loosened your grip on his length and he sighed in content, almost sobbing when your thumb toyed with his reddened slit.

"Alright. I wouldn't want to kill you after all," you said simply, smirking as you took your hand off him to press it against your own entrance.

"You can watch instead."

T = Toys

"What… is this ?"

Viktor held the small bullet-like object between his fingers, clearly perplexed, and you couldn't help a laugh.

"You've never seen one of those ?"

"I cannot say that I have."

"Hand it over," you smiled, motioning him to sit next to you on the bed. "I'll show you what it does."

Viktor sat carefully, his cane resting against the bedside, curiosity glimmering in his eyes as he gave you the object. He studied your movements carefully as you laid down and lowered it to your thighs, pushing your panties to the side to let it rest against your entrance. His eyes widened slightly.

"Ah," he started, and you didn't miss the way the tip of ears had reddened. "So it is that type of machinery."

You smirked wordlessly, pressing a small button at the top of the gadget. It made a small, wiring noise, before it started vibrating, shaking against your thigh. You moaned dramatically when it touched your clit, delighted at the way Viktor's adam apple bobbed at the sight.

"I can see its appeal." he stated as matter of factly as he could, "but it seems a little frivolous for something I could simply do with my hand."

"Maybe you'd understand it better if you were the one holding it."

You guided his hand on top of yours, letting him take hold of the vibrator. He pressed it experimentally against your folds, and you made a show of quivering under his touch. He swallowed audibly, muttering a curse under his breath. "It is...not a bad invention," he stated hesitantly, the tightness of his pants obviously bothering him, "but it could benefit an upgrade. A heating function, perhaps automatic lubrication…"

He pressed it against your entrance, wiggling part of it inside you, a smile tugging on his lips when you grabbed the covers in surprise.

"If I did upgrade this… would you help me test it ?"

U = Unfair

"Viktor…" you complained. "Please…"

"Almost there, sweet thing."

You cried out when his cane hit your ass again, your cheeks burning like fire. You held on tightly to your pen, grinding your teeth as you wrote the answer to the final question. You turned to Viktor to give him your mock exam, and he gently wiped away your tears as he took the paper. You tried sitting upright next to him, whining when your ass made contact with bed covers. He hushed you softly, caressing your backside in praise as he read your answers.

"You get an 80% for today, with two questions wrong," he hummed. "I believe I said I would only fuck you against the desk if you managed a 90."

If you had any tears left, you could have cried.

"Viktor, don't…"

"I am not an unforgiving man," he said with a smirk, guiding you back down on your stomach with a hand. "How about some bonus questions ?"

V = Volume

On top of his many self-admitted qualities, Jayce believed he had very good hearing.

He could hear the pipes growling inside the Academy's walls, the pulsations of the hex gates as they powered up for another merchant, the first droplets of rain before a thunderstorm.

But this sound, he did not know.

It echoed again from the equipment cabinet, a low growl, raspy and fragmented.

An animal maybe ? he thought, instinctively tensing up. It sounds hurt… or angry.

He reached for the handle, ready to catch whatever might try to escape, freezing when the sound spoke in a very familiar, accented voice: "Keep touching me there…"

There was certainly a lesson to be learned there. Maybe his hearing wasn't as good as he thought it was.

W = Wild card

"I'm testing out a theory."

"Really ?" Viktor mumbled sleepily, holding you close to him under the bedsheets. "What is it ?"

You smiled, secretive, laying your forehead against his. "I'll show you."

You climbed on top of him to kiss his face, once just above his lips, and a second time right underneath his eye. He made a small questioning sound, pleased but confused.

"What… are you doing ?"

"Testing out my theory," you replied, moving on to his neck to leave three light kisses and a single much harder one, bitting the skin there playfully. "This one is a bit bigger," you explained simply, moving onto his shoulders. Viktor's eyes widened slightly when he understood what you were doing.

"Are you…kissing all my moles ?"

"Where I come from," you giggled, kissing a clutter of them on his arm, "we call them beauty marks. They say each one is a kiss from a god, and that you get a blessing every time it's touched."

He shivered when your lips touched his chest, the marks there dangerously close to his nipple.

"I'm half-convinced you have made that up as an excuse to kiss me."

You laughed, tenderly licking a spot on his bony ribs. "When have I needed an excuse for that ?"

X = X-ray (Size)

"I have loosened you up on four fingers, and yet you're still... so tight."

You cursed, eyes shutting close, hips moving on their own to meet Viktor's hand.

"I'm not tight," you breathed out, "you're -ah- you're too big !"

He knew that he absolutely knew that, but the smirk on his face was no less annoying.

"Complaining ?"

"Y-you wish."

His fingers wrapped over your jaw, gently but firmly forcing you to look down at his cock, its tip almost purple, a thick vein pulsating on its side. "And here I thought you quite enjoyed when I filled you. I must have been mistaken."

The bony joints of his four fingers hit your entrance harshly, and you almost screamed.

"You're never wrong Viktor. That's what's annoying about you," you muttered through your teeth. "Now shut up," you said, pointedly arching your entrance towards him, "and fill me."

Y = Yearning

"You used to almost jump off your chair every time I'd touch you."

Your hands moved up and down his back, massaging the skin around his brace as he hummed in content.

"And now I can barely keep my hands off you," he smiled, his own hands roaming your body. "What can I say? It's you. It's your lips, your neck, your breasts… It's you."

His body melted against yours, lovingly, perfectly, like a puzzle piece linking with its match.

"You have ruined an already broken man. I do hope you are happy."

You laughed softly against his neck, joining your hands together.

"Very."

Z = Zzz

Viktor slowly pulled out of you, muscles trembling at the effort as he all but collapsed on top of you. You rubbed his back soothingly when he tried to move, helping him sit up. "I should get back to the lab," he muttered, voice heavy and tired. "I have to finish drawing the blueprint."

You tuted in disagreement: "I'm not letting you go back to the lab. Not in this state."

His eyebrows furrowed and he stared at you, incredulous.

"But the blueprint-"

"I brought it." you interrupted. "It's in the drawer. We can finish it up in bed," you said, wiping his cum off your inner thighs playfully, "after cleaning up a little."

The surprise in his eyes was priceless, the tired ambers shimmering.

"Have I ever told you I love you?

"I'd love to hear it again."

#this is literally 6k for 26 different prompts that was a m o n s t e r to write #comment your favourite letters bellow ❤❤❤#viktor x reader #viktor arcane #arcane #mine

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husbandohunter · 4 years ago

Note

Your Stardew Impact has given me a serious brainrot and I couldn’t sleep on it so here

Imagine the boys getting Isekai to Stardew and meeting their (soon-to-be) s/o a.k.a the farmer who found them in the mines and dragged them out.

It’s basically the same as the original but the reader lives in Stardew universe from the beginning.

The Outlanders who trespassed the Stars [Stardew Valley + Genshin Impact]

Synopsis: You were a simple farmer who lived a simple life before crossing paths with these outlanders. A tale of greetings and farewells tells a story that loving someone was like looking at the stars in the sky; a sense of warmth amidst darkness, where the dots connect no matter what distance it was. But just like stars, they were meant to be unobtainable.

(Basically what happens if the boys get Isekai'd)

Genre: fluff, angst (faceapalm didn't mean to)

Characters: Childe, Xiao, Zhongli

(A/n): Hi anon, haha I didn't think the Stardew Impact series would be this enjoyable. Allow me to serve your brainrot. But just for future references there is a character limit! Also it long, a pro tip to use ctrl+F and type in the name :>

======================

~Childe's Story~

The day you met Childe was perhaps during the most fortunate yet unfortunate hour of your life.

Winter comes by, your fields were left dry, what else was there to do other than mining? You were aiming to build a new Barnhouse before summer comes, fishing only made average income thus you decided to take your pickaxe and hope to run into some diamonds, gold or even better: prismatic shards. However, expensive items could only be found in the deepest parts of the mountains, where dangerous monsters lurk by.

When peeking over the abandoned minecart you so carefully shielded yourself with, you began contemplating whether you've just dug yourself a grave instead. The whole area became infested, you weren't in the best condition and on top of all that, you were out of food.

You decided to make a run for it, with the treasures and goodies at hand, you couldn't give up. However, things only got worse when purple mist began taking over your vision, signaling a lava bat wave drawing nigh. It was thanks to your greed that you ended in such a predicament but it was also your greed that brought you to him.

"W-Woah!!"

You tripped with your toe pointing downwards into a pile of wooden crates. The bats swarmed in shortly after, daunting around the area above but you couldn't afford to look. Your face was down to the ground and you could only rely on your ears regarding their whereabouts. As if Yoba heard your prayers, the lava bats could not seem to find you, confusing them to think you've escaped. And so, they flew away.

"I'm never doing that again," The sudden impact was excruciating, you were sure that your lip bled due to biting too hard. At least the floor felt somewhat soft, cotton-like and warm enough to be comforting. Yet, for some reason it was also a little…bony?

"…Mn…."

Your body jerks up like a springboard when you felt something shifting. A man, no older than his twenties, no older than you, lays sprawled out under your form. He was beginning to stir and you panicked when a pair of blue cerulean eyes pointed into your seemingly shocked ones within the close parameter.

Too close.

The man gives a cheerfully wry chuckle, you could practically feel his breath almost, "Well this is quite unexpected, didn't think I'd end up in this position," he jests, soon his expression began to tighten into a grimace, "Mind getting off me though? With all due respect miss, you're a little-…heavy."

You scrambled to the side while still kneeling, "What the hell, who are you?!"

"Hm," The man didn't answer, instead he pushed himself upright and turned his attention to examine the surroundings, "Where are we?" He paused when he noticed how the ceiling was made of rocks, "Wait, is this a cave?"

"Ninety two floors deep and surrounded by monsters," you sighed in frustration while rubbing your head with your palm, "Seriously, whoever you are you shouldn't be here, especially if you're not even carrying the necessary supplies."

"Hey, I just got here. I'm just as confused as you," he puts his hands up in a defensive gesture, "But how strange," he mutters to himself, lowering his arms ever so slightly before pinching his chin in deep thought, "I swear it was the right portal…or maybe it was the other one? Hmmm, could it be the effect of the hidden seal?"

I have so many questions. You sweatdropped nervously. Here you were, hours spent to get to the deepest parts of the earth and looking like a cavewoman while his clothes were practically untouched, nor did they seem to be a recognizable fashion. You've seen many odd events within Stardew Valley but not to this extent, "Alright you know what, let's forget about it for now. We need to get out of here before those lava bats come back for us again. Otherwise we're toast," you gestured to the lava pool, "Literally."

He gave another one of his gleeful smiles, you wondered if he was afraid at all, "Sounds like a solid plan to me. Judging by the equipment you're wearing, you seem to have been here for a while. You know your way around?"

Figures that he doesn't know, you thought, "I'll lead."

"Glad we're on the same page. Though, we've only just met and yet you're still willing to help a stranger like me," he mentions in an off-handed manner, perhaps he wasn't used to generosity ever since being recruited as a harbinger, "But not that I'm complaining. You have my thanks, comrade."

"(Y/n)," you tell him, "That's my name. I'm a farmer that resides in this town."

"I see. A town it is then," he inquires, "Call me Childe, as where I'm from, not sure how to answer that anymore."

"What do you-"

But before you were able to question him further, a hoard of lava crabs were spotted crawling it's way towards where Childe sat. He shot you a confused look and turned to the direction, amusement sparks in his eyes,

"Lava crabs? You've got to be kidding me," your arms have already grown tired long ago, at this rate, you figured it may be best to pay a visit to Harvey's doctor office and check up for any muscle strains that have occured during the process. You most likely have considered how heavy your items felt now. Partaking in another battle would only make it worse.

"Ah an opponent, to think this place wouldn't have a set of new monsters to fight. I was growing tired of beating up hilichurls all the time."

His casual reaction caused you to scrunch up your nose in disbelief, "We're being ganged up on and your first response was that???"

Childe paid no mind, instead he propelled himself back to his feet using his trained reflexes and swaggered towards the crowd, "Relax girlie," Stopping just after a few steps, he turns his head ajar over his shoulder with a floppy smirk spreading his lips, "I've got this."

You held in your breath, wondering if you could trust this man. For now all you could do was sit back and hopefully regain some of your strength while observing by the stacks of crates that were abandoned years ago. The lava crabs formed a straight line in front of him, they were smart creatures, cornering their prey in a very well strategized form so that trespassing was out of the question. Childe wasn't intimidated in the slightest, he merely looked down at them with hooded eyes, flexing his fingers for preparation.

"Lava crab…in other words you're of the pyro element," the harbinger holds out his hand in front of him, trying to cultivate the shape of his bow, "A shame. This fight would end much shorter than I anticipated."

However, when he expected his element to manifest, nothing came out. Childe was left dumbfounded.

"Don't just stand there," you screeched, "Do something!!!"

"Wait," he halts you and tries to summon his bow again. Once, twice, as the crabs grew closer still there was nothing, "My powers…they're gone?!"

"Take this," left without a choice, you pushed yourself towards him and shoved Neptune's glaive into his grasp. He examines it with curiosity, but you knew this was also your own well-being you were entrusting him, "It's really easy to use, just-"

When a crab leapt forward, you ran back to create some manageable space for Childe to move in. He delivers a powerful slice using one arm, hitting the crab's weak spot while tossing it toward the side until a dent was formed in the wall. Your mouth parts, fast, he was fast, you didn't even have the time to blink. It was as if he knew the glaive more than you did. Though, the assumption wasn't that far from the truth. Childe was well adept with swordsmanship as he was an expert with many other melee weapons. Which is precisely the reason why he chose the bow as his main, a ranged device, the challenge to keep him on his toes. Just like he was now.

"He wasn't lying when he said he could fight," you watched in mesmerization, each single blow he delivered deemed equivalent to three hits on your part. Childe was both powerful and swift. He was formidable. The way he effortlessly deflected his opponents despite not having an enchantment ring made you forget how much of an idiot he was earlier before. Soon, the lava crabs began to lessen, leaving what remained of their dusted corpse while some retreated back into the depths of the cave.

"Not bad, it was kind of fun!" Childe laughs exasperatedly, glancing at his blue reflection upon the marred blade, "It's been a while since I last used a sword, and still haven't gone rusty either," he hands you the hilt, "Thanks for letting me use it by the way. You seriously got yourself a sick weapon."

"Keep using it for now, I think I'm a little too worn out to handle it," you say regretfully and pointed your nose towards the ceiling, "The mist hasn't disappeared so there's probably gonna be more monsters we'll encounter soon."

Childe looks up as well, "Huh I was wondering what that meant."

"By the way I've never seen anyone fight like that. Exactly what kind of place are you from?" You finally ask, "You somehow ended up in a cave, without anything to defend yourself with and it's not like you know your way out either. Are you...from another world?"

"Huh didn't think you'd draw that conclusion so quick," he comments jokingly, "Guess there's no reason to hide it anymore. Indeed I am from another world, at least, that's what I can tell so far. I've never encountered these types of monsters either."

You couldn't help but be taken aback by his honesty, "That was strangely easier than I thought...."

After escaping the cave, you introduced Childe to the wizard who lived in Cindersap forest, M. Rasmodius. He was extremely intrigued by the concept of an outlander and seemed happy to be of assistance. Since helping others was the culture of Pelican Town, you commissioned Robin to build a small cabin for him to live in temporarily. In return, Childe must accompany you back to the caves and make up for your losses. It was a mutual benefit since he had the opportunity to fight as well.

Childe befriended the townsfolk rather easily. On friday nights where everyone goes to the Saloon to enjoy their time, he would be found in the other room playing pool with the gang (Sam, Abigail and Sebastian)-- you as well when he managed to drag you along with him.

Crashes at your place when you were busy with the farm. You can bet that he would pop up suddenly midday through your window, “Can you use the door like a normal person???” But despite how much you get irritated by this habit, all bygones are bygones the moment he starts a conversation.

He sticks around as you carry your hay batches, sharing his stories. How the organization he worked in was a powerful militaristic force that had authority over many countries. But you didn't see him as a brute since he only joined for the sake of his parents, for the sake of his siblings and their dreams.

You thought of your grandfather who also once told you to pursue your dreams: live a peaceful life away from urban society. However, as long as the harbinger was with you, there wasn't much option for 'peace'.

"Tell me again why you dragged me out here? You know thatI still have a lot of work to finish back in the farm," you trekked your feet through the thick icy sheets with one hand clutching the zipper near your collarbone. It was incredibly windy in Cindersap forest and Childe happened to have convinced you to leave the comfort of your home for 'a surprise favour'. He purposely made a vague statement to draw in your curiosity but if you had refused-- well, that would have led to constant nagging on his part.

"You'll see," is what he said, it was what he told you through this whole ordeal. He lifted his chin to feel the frosty air against his face, "There's this one activity I wanted to try out. Back in Snezhnaya, I used to bring my brother to go skating out on the lakes. It's deadly freezing there so the ice is pretty thick to work on. Haven't done any of that since I joined the Fatui."

You shot him a deadpan glare, "That's why you brought me out here? Why didn't you just go by yourself?"

"Now that's cold (Y/n),” you rolled your eyes at the pun, “Can't you loosen up instead of throwing yourself in a pile of work all day?"

"It's not that I don't want to...I'm just very busy with the farm since it's the last day of the month. At least I want to do as much as I can before Spring comes."

"Haha you're right but you only live once y'know?" Childe noted happily despite your protest, "And like I said before, seize the opportunity when you see it. You never know when it will be your last."

You cocked your head to the side, "What do you mean?"

"Now let's get started shall we?" As you both reach the edge of the frozen lake, Childe takes a step forward ahead of you, "Have you ever gone ice skating before?"

"Yeah but..." You glanced at the glassy surface with skepticism, suddenly struck by hesitance. The thought of drowning made you retreat your steps right away, "I don't know Childe, it doesn't seem that safe."

"That's true if you're not careful enough," he pointed out, "Luckily you have me to help you with that."

"How does that work?"

He placed one foot onto the hardened lake and parts his mouth into a grin, "Watch."

In contrast to your cautious personality, Childe was considered to be more of a wildcard if anything. He loved adventure, just like you except his side often included bloodshed and the thrill that danger carries. You weren't sure if it was worth putting up with his antics or entertaining his idea of skating on thin ice, but you complied regardless. He had a way of delivering his words through that cheery voice you couldn't deny.

Prior to meeting him, life was boring. The corporate world was boring. You moved into your grandfather's farm in order to search for some form of fulfillment that Zuzu city couldn't give and you thought you did now that you had your very own farm, but slowly you began to pile more responsibilities than you could even count.

Everything you did, you did alone.

If it weren't for Childe, you wouldn't have learned the art of surfing on ocean waters. You never would have known the taste of mixing three different ice-cream flavours together despite what strange names they all had. Or what it felt like to mingle with the townspeople rather than mingling for the sake of business. Suddenly, everything became...fun.

Childe wanted to go far and wide. He was always running, so far ahead, somewhere beyond the stars as he could conquer the world to the point you might no longer reach him.

No longer reach him, huh. Curling your fingers into your palm, you renewed your courage and took a step onto the ice.

At the sound of boots tapping behind him, Childe spins around to see you wobble in your stance, nearly tipping over. He slid across to where you were and grasped your arm before you fell.

"Gotcha."

"Thanks," You sighed in relief, "Jeez, this is harder than I thought."

"Guess this is your first time then," he commented with a bit of jest, "Don't stress yourself over it too much, you'll be okay. I got you."

He carefully led you to the center, staying close in case you were to fall sideways again. You awkwardly tried to keep your legs straight, balancing on your own yet the fact that there was still water underneath struck fear into your nerve. It caused you to tremble and eventually skittered backwards.

"Haha ice skating isn't your forte isn't it?"

"I'm just getting started!"

He takes your hand in his before you could even protest, it was one of his many aspects that you found endearing-- the fact his impulse stems from genuine intentions, feelings, not giving them a second thought. The two of you glide using the soles of your shoes, he speeds up ever so slightly and the adrenaline begins to increase until there comes a rush of excitement, freedom. The stress you once had already forgotten once taking flight upon the ice.

"Look Childe! I'm actually doing it!" You couldn't help mentioning with a bit of youthful playfulness in your voice, "It's so smooth and fast! Almost like I'm flying!"

He smiles quietly from a distance, “See? I told you that you'll be fine.”

It was clear to many that the two of you were much closer than what meets the eye.

Childe began to notice the change in your aura. You were happier and much more soulful. Before you were always on the edge, cautious in contrast to his sanguine approach, he couldn't help but be caught off guard whenever you teased him. Or the sudden honesty that causes him to be flustered. By your side, he was no longer a Fatui Harbinger rather more of a puppy, adorable almost.

But when he saw that the reason you changed was because of him, it brought fear into his bones. Why? How did things get to this point? You were lost in a wonderland, ignorant to the blossom that had sprung inside of your chest.

Maybe it was better to be ignorant. Just live in the moment while it can still last.

"You're leaving?"

Standing at the gateway between the mountain cliffside and the starry sky, you call out to the man you've known in a way that carries more than what words could say. Because he left a mark in your years that could never be erased and here he was, trying to erase his existence completely.

Childe lets out a bitter chuckle, he didn't dare to face you, "I didn't expect you to catch up so quickly. You're quick-witted, comrade."

"It's (Y/n)," you corrected, trying to steady your voice so that he couldn't tell the expression you were making, "Why didn't you say anything? What makes you think that I'll just stay silent and let you go on your own way? This isn't a joke Childe! Don't act as if none of it matters to you because it sure as hell did to me."

His lips that held his usual smirk flattens into a straight line, "Even if I did, would it make a difference?"

The world stills. You knew the answer, he knew the answer, you just refused to admit it. One by one, the stars begin to collect themselves until a bridge was formed in front of him, on another day he would be enjoying the scenery alongside you. But today they would be for you alone to witness. The man who you spent your time with had slowly, regretfully, inevitably became a stranger. He was right. It wouldn't make a difference. You were already aware since the day you met him that he belonged to another world and you willingly offered to help him find a way home.

"You know, you could come with me."

Your eyes jolt open. His voice was so free of care. As if he was commenting on something so minor on a casual Sunday afternoon while accompanying you to the beach. But when you came face to face with the harbinger, his expression lackluster, you knew that he meant every word.

"Just you and me, we can travel across the world to our heart's content. I always thought you were an adventurer just like me and you know what, the farm life just doesn't suit you," Childe slowly extends his hand as an offer, for you it was a temptation, "So what do you think? Care to join me?

Your lip quivers. What he said sounded like a sweet dream that you so desperately wanted to take a bite out of. But even so, you thought about the townsfolk, your farm, your grandfather. Their images flashed in as if holding you back, chaining you to the ground, "I can't."

The answer pained you more than it did to him.

"Figures, this is your home after all," he huffs out, " Now do you understand? I can't leave my home either. If I did, heh, I think my siblings would despise me until the very end and I just don't want that. So no hard feelings, okay?"

You didn't reply.

"Don't worry. I won't pressure you if you don't want to," Childe turns back to the bridge, it was almost time, "Do what you have to do (Y/n), hate me if it makes you feel any better. You can even forget about me," he paused, renewing his resolve, "But I know I won't."

"Childe-"

You ran to grab his scarf only to have it ghost through your hands. He was relieved that he couldn't hear your voice, as he returned to Teyvat, Childe wonders what kind of expression did you have before he left? He'll never know.

---

~Xiao's Story~

The day you met Xiao...well, you weren't in the best of the best positions.

This was probably your sixth attempt trying to make it through all levels of the cave and reach the last floor. The quest had been sitting in your drawer for months.

Of course you didn't expect things to be easy, the fortune teller channel you watched every morning had yet to inform you with any good fortune and you would often bump into obstacles that would halt your progress.

But to be fair, sometimes the colourful ore would attract your attention and before you knew it, it was time to go.

So close yet so far. You dragged your feet tiredly against the ground. What time was it? Who knows. Judging by your state, you assumed it had already struck past 12 a.m.

However, today luck seems to have taken pity on you, just...slightly.

You puffed air into your cupped hands for the nth time, huddling deeper into the touch of your coat while trudging into the cave's cold climate. A little longer, any time soon, you kept telling yourself over and over but as if time was frozen, the wait felt like an eternity. Ah how much you wish to be in the comfort of your soft, fluffy bed right now. Though, merely visualizing the image only reminded how achingly freezing it was so you decided it was best to spare yourself from the details.

"I can't do this anymore..." leaning your head against the ice covered cavern, you whimpered, "I should have stayed home."

As you were about to shut your eyelids, something flashed by your peripheral vision. You darted towards the direction it came from, the light was a bright green hue against blue, could it be, "Warmth!"

It seems you jumped to conclusions too quickly. With impatience, you swung around the corner, expecting to find a heat source, only to meet something much more horrifying.

"KYAH!"

They stared straight into your eyes, those demonic eyes tainted by black and fangs that stuck out of the mouth like tusks on an elephant.

However, when the light evaporated you were able to have a better sense of sight, slowly revealing the monster's true form and the body of a human boy. He fell onto his back with a thud and you used this chance to calm yourself from the frightful encounter.

"He's...unconscious?"

You meekly crawled to where he lay and examined closely. Aside from the mask, there were various distinct features that stood out in his attire, his tattoo being one of them, imprinted in what looked like an eagle. You then realized how unsuitable his clothes were in this current situation. At least there were no injuries so far. But was that a good thing? This man practically came out of thin air as if some sorcery had been committed. Witches never left a good impression ever since they cursed your chicken coop. You were hesitant whether to help a stranger who could potentially be one of them or a creation they cultivated. What other explanation could there be?

"I can't leave him here, it's too cold."

Your gaze suddenly falls upon his covered face. The design, although intimidating at first, upon closer look was very alluring in it’s own way. You haven't stumbled upon anything like what the merchants had to offer in Pelican Town and the mask almost looked too foreign. Was he from the east? Curiosity eventually takes over and you gingerly reach for the mask, sliding it off his face.

"Eh...?" You gasp, taken aback by his striking appearance. A part of it made you feel this was no ordinary boy but that didn't mean he should be abandoned in this environment. It would be immoral to let him die in a place like this.

Before you could even make a noise, his eyes bursted awake, grabbing your wrist in a harsh grip. He used his other hand to push against your shoulder until you were instantly pinned on your back with no opening to escape. You choked a sharp sound as you stared with wide eyes. The man was akin to a beast, he had the expression to match it, like the glaring sharp gaze of wolves that roam at the mountain cliffside near Zuzu city and the ferocity of the demonic mask he once wore. You were breath taken but in a more fearful way as he continued to grip onto you tighter with the possible intent to harm.

"Speak!” He demanded, “What have you done to my powers and where have you brought me?"

In Xiao’s case, he was thrown into another world under the circumstances of fighting against one of Liyue’s unknown beasts. He was on high alert, thinking the fight was still ongoing.

You may look human but you could still be a threat. Xiao is the type to act upon instinct in the moment when something feels out of place. Like the spear he wields, he was trained to behave like one: to strike, strike down his foes without hesitation. Don't leave an opening for them to take the advantage. Xiao is a weapon and violence was what he knew best. He couldn't afford to lower his guard even for a minute.

You could say he left a pretty strong first impression to the point you were paralyzed. As he looked at your face, petrified and tense, he wavered and began to reevaluate things. Large doe-like eyes stare into his feline ones. They didn't seem to hold any sort of malice, was it possible for you to be the one who cursed him?

"Eeeeeek! I-I have no idea what you're talking about, let me go let me go!" you cried, "Please don't hurt me!"

Perhaps he shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions.

Xiao feels your struggle and eventually gets off to give you some space. Your reaction was understandable, he was used to it anyways. Xiao scoffed to himself, why are mortals so weak? Their strength, if compared to the adepti, was separated by a large gap (Like it always should be). Xiao kept his gaze averted to the side as you rubbed your wrist, focusing his attention elsewhere. He glanced at the vastness of the cave in front of him.

Why was he sent here? For what reason did it serve? Ever since he sealed the contract with Rex Lapis, the guardian Yaksha had never entertained the thought of leaving his country nor did he act upon it; he was far too loyal to his god to do so. But here he was, against his own will yet free from his karmic binds, stripped of his divine powers in the return of endless questions about this new found mortal-like form.

What should I do now?

Choosing not to dwell in any longer, Xiao rises to his feet and proceeds to walk the other way.

"Ah u-uhm sir, where are you going?"

If the universe wanted to test him then he'll find his own answers.

"Wait! Please wait up!"

"Tch."

Although he intended to keep going, Xiao heard you running to his direction and slowed to a halt, some mortals surely do not know their boundaries, "Hmph there's nothing timid about you. Leave me be," he demands without turning around, "Don't forget what I'm capable of."

Stay away.

"I-I know that," you retaliate weakly. Just by hearing his tone made you want to melt away and become one with the ice. He was a scary man indeed, the same one who attacked you earlier. But even so, "That doesn't mean I want you dead! If you go that way, you might freeze to death. Aren't you cold? You don't even have a coat on."

"..." Upon the mention of his predicament, his senses started to kick in. As a yaksha, Xiao wasn't able to be affected by temperature but now he felt his hands beginning to sting, trembling from it’s impact. Ah, so this is what it feels like to be cold. Still Xiao was stubborn and continued to push you away, "What happens to me has nothing to do with you. Now leave, or else."

"I-I can't do that!"

Xiao clicks his tongue in frustration. How annoying. This is why he dislikes meddling with meddlesome humans. But quite frankly, he wasn't sure how to handle your type of forwardness since most tend to back away. And so, Xiao does what he usually does, he ignores you and continues walking, eventually you'll give up on him anyway. However he hears a loud thump and whips around to see your body laying in the snow. The hours of travelling in the cave have seemed to caught up that you inevitably collapsed from exhaustion.

Knitting his evergreen brows together, Xiao lets out an irritable sigh.

...

You wake up to find the sky above your head and your coat draped over your shoulders like a blanket. Dawn was slowly rising above the distance valley, you figured it was around 4a.m in the morning. Rubbing your eyes, you eventually noticed a figure sitting across, admiring the sunrise.

"Ah it's you!"

Xiao jolts ever so slightly, peeking over his bare shoulders until you could see the sun's light casted against his golden irises. Did he stay here while you were asleep? Then, that would also mean he was also the one who carried you all the way up from sixty floors below.

“You're awake,” he noted flatly, “If that's the case, then I have no reason to stay here."

Of course, that wouldn't be the last time you saw him.

You were a tenacious human being, always so insistent in dragging him away from his lonesome personality. He resides in the forest and camps there for the time being (similar to Linus since they’re both homeless lol). But you’d always run in, DAILY and sometimes for the most stupid and mundane reasons. It could either be giving him the snacks you snatched off the table since Xiao refused to participate in parties, or fancy seashells you found on the beach. You didn’t want him to miss out on all those things of course! Although he responds with irritation, it was as if his words went through your ear and then out the other. His efforts were futile (however, he was slowly warming up without realizing).

He learns how easily his body reacts in the presence of food purely because he was hungry. You bring an extra set of blankets and pillows to his campsite when the ones you gave him wore out (he didn’t ask by the way). Xiao needed help whether he liked it or not since he no longer has his powers, hence he couldn't run away. He somehow ends up moving in to live on the small islands near your farm.

Xiao doesn't understand humans very much. Just as he was unable to understand how human emotions work. He was the almighty yaksha, Adeptus Xiao and a formidable beast that killed thousands in thousands of years, at least that's what he used to be. Even now he still has yet to figure out what he was or who he was exactly without a weapon to define his existence. He was made for battle but nowadays, he found himself watering plants, chopping down trees and throwing seeds to the chickens living in your coop. How did everything escalate to this? It baffles him, how much his life changed so drastically.

Haha, you’re Xiao of course! The greatest farming assistant I could ever have.

But above all else, the one thing Xiao couldn't understand among those universal questions, is you.

"Why are you doing all this?" Finally he asked. The urging thought had been persisting at the back of his mind ever since.

You stopped on your tracks and turned to look at him, tilting your head with a complexion made curious, "What do you mean? Ah, did I do something to bother you?"

"I didn't say that," Xiao interrupts abruptly, he folded his arms across his chest and shot you a deep contemplating gaze, " You're...incomprehensible. All I did was drag you out of that cave yet why are you so kind to me? Don't you think you're extending yourself too much just because of one little deed?"

Because to him, saving a life was the norm. He does it unconditionally just like you helped him with those same intentions. Except, Xiao had been pursuing corrupted souls behind the scenes all this time and expected nothing in return. Experiencing someone's gratitude was rather new.

You shook your head, "It wasn't small to me," a satisfactory smile melting onto your face, "I'm here at this very moment, feeling the wind against my skin and smelling the scent that nature carries, these are just the few things I cherish. It's thanks to you that I can still watch over grandpa's farm, that's why I don't feel like I'm overextending myself in any way," suddenly you beam at him, "At first I thought you were a scary person. Haha. Time flies so fast, it's amazing how much can happen in between."

"Hn, you're a simpleton. But that's not a bad thing..." he points out curtly yet softly, "Do as you wish, I won't stop you so feel free to call my name whenever you need my help. I'll be there."

Xiao also finds you to be very clumsy. He couldn't leave your side even for a minute. But that was a lie. He just grew very attached to you.

When you tell him that you've been going into the mines for a quest, he tells you that you're far from capable. So he teaches you how to wield a weapon properly. Xiao was a strict teacher and he intends to keep it that way, he wouldn’t even allow you to set foot in the mines until he finds you capable enough.

You were a meek yet optimistic person, yet you were also strong-willed.

For a place that wasn't his home, he felt it was. And he found that it was all in your presence. Those peaceful hours hiding inside the barn while a storm rages outside, you sit beside him while hugging a sheep close to your chest. Xiao learns how to feed some of them, he even brings seeds for your hen house too. If you were ever short on materials, Xiao would travel to the enchanted forest behind the wizard's tower and get them for you, no matter how late it was. Though if you went by yourself, he'd deliberately go with you despite your protest.

The minute Xiao realized how much he was attached to you, it was devastating. As if the claws of his karmic debt had come back, pulling him into the shadows once more. He was an adeptus with a contract and bound by his duty, he must choose between his god who saved him from a nightmare and you, the girl he fell for, showed him that the world was indeed a beautiful place, he was stuck in an equilibrium and he felt that the binds may even tear him apart if he kept resisting.

But when did he ever have a choice?

"Where are you going Xiao?"

When he heard your voice calling his name, the yaksha willingly pulled himself to a halt. His sunset eyes narrowing from guilt before it shuts with a trembling sigh out of his mouth. Why is it that you always appear during the moments where he desperately needs to get away from you? He planned to sneak out the door, making sure his footsteps were unheard while you slept. And by the time you woke up, he didn't have to face you, he wouldn't have to say goodbye. He won't. Even if what he was currently doing said otherwise. He will never hear himself say those words.

"Xiao?"

Yet, he cannot refuse you. Not now, not ever. You were breathtaken to see a type of expression that you never thought was possible for him to make. The creases that once formed between his slender brows, the heaviness he always carried in his expression was replaced by a sense of sentimentality. Before you could register what was happening, Xiao took his step towards the porch of your house, not once did he tear away from your attention. He slides his hand beneath your jaw and affectionately against your cheek, the fondness evident in his gaze that you almost felt imprisoned by it.

"You never fail to appear in the most inconvenient of times," He gives a weak smile, a smile that makes your heart swell. Despite how much you could drown in his honesty, you couldn’t help but feel there was something wrong, “No matter how many times I’ve tried to push you away.”

You don't know him. You don't know his history and what things he committed in the past. But as if you've known this whole time, Xiao couldn't picture you leaving him for those reasons.

“You’re gentle but you don’t let others put you down. You’re kind but you don’t allow it to be your weakness. I sometimes wonder how it is possible for anyone to be so forgiving?”

"I-I don’t understand why you’re this Xiao. Is something happening?”

He won’t tell you. He doesn’t see the reason why you need to know.

You wince when something poked the side of your neck and you realized it was a tranquilizer. You looked at Xiao with dismay, his face becoming hazier until your vision darkened and could no longer hold your own weight. Xiao caught you around the waist with one arm as you fell unconscious.

"How can you be so stupid...?"

But he speaks as if those words were meant for him.

Pulling your body closer to him, Xiao chains you down into a desperate embrace. A silent scream of desperation. His forehead pressed against the bent of your shoulder and the other arm rested his hand at the center of your back. He will relish in the shape of your body, memorizing every curve both perfections and flaws. The way you fit into his arms and the pleasant smell of nature that you taught him to love, this was the only remnant he was allowed to take. Every detail, he will remember it as if clinging to the last moments of his whole world.

If he was allowed to have a desire, let him meet you again. He prayed to a god, any god-- even if it meant damaging his oath, he will accept his punishment. He prayed to each star in the sky and if he must he'll pray to the devil himself, whatever it is, he will do it for you.

As he painfully lets go, Xiao lets his hand slide off your body until the last thing he felt was the very tips of your fingers. He settles you down gently into your bed. You belong here in this peaceful world, not the one riddled with monsters.

---

~Zhongli's Story~

The Skull Cavern was considered to be the most dangerous mine of Stardew Valley. It wasn't your intention to run into any trouble, all you wanted was to test your cool new galaxy sword on some easy monsters and then be on your merry way. At first.

Just one more floor. You say, before catching an arm sticking out a pile of rocks.

"I-Is that a person?!!!"

You dug as fast as you could, any time soon the mummies would wake up and start attacking. Quick quick! Moving the last rock, you saw the face of a young man, he was asleep but alive! and undeniably attractive oh wow *lip bite*. But despite your attempts of shaking him awake, it was fruitless and the monsters weren't waiting.

Taking out two warp totems, you raised it to the ceiling and chanted a teleportation spell.

It wasn't everyday that you brought a man to your house.

But when you did, he wouldn't be from a cave, six floors down and buried in a place filled with monsters.

"And this small black device you say is some form of communicator? That certainly is intriguing, never in my years have I heard of something so advanced."

However you were beginning to think otherwise. That this man would have been from the prehistoric ages who you managed to unbury after his thousand year slumber. Zhongli sits on the couch across from you while examining your smartphone, a term he claimed had been completely foreign. You were contemplating whether you should bother Harvey despite being past his work hour and book an emergency appointment to see if this man had a special case of amnesia.

You brushed the idea away. There was so much going on and nothing made sense, for now, you decided to settle this on your own.

"Uhm Zhongli is it?" you asked nervously, "Maybe you can try giving the name of a relative or someone you know. I can use the phonebook to see if I can find their number."

“Number?” He parroted.

You blinked a few times, making sure if you heard him correctly, “Yes, number. You know? To communicate?”

"I appreciate your kind gesture," Zhongli acknowledges in a polite manner, "But that won't be necessary. This device doesn’t seem to be at a level where it can communicate with the people from my homeland."

If he was travelling then how the hell did he end up in THE Skull Cavern is what I wanna know!

“T-Then if you don't mind me asking, where are you from?"

Zhongli takes this moment to think of an answer, aware that if he blurted something out it would not have translated in the way he wanted. But you so kindly invited him to your humble household that he felt it would only be proper to owe you an explanation, "I suppose a land from afar."

You sweatdropped, "Suppose?"

"Yes. Although I won't spare you the details since this is not your burden to bear, it’s quite difficult for me to try and remember exactly what happened," Zhongli took his chin into his hand, fingers almost covering his mouth, "Perhaps I would need search for clues in order to refresh my memory."

Oh no he really does have amnesia!!

"A-Actually why don't I just call the local doctor, I'm sure he wouldn't mind giving you a hand," you say while taking your iPhone.

"A doctor? There's no need," dismissed Zhongli, "My condition is only a minor one and I do not think I'm in a position to afford medical assistance. Besides, you have done more than enough. May you find great fortune in your years Miss (Y/n), I shall be on my way."

He pushes himself up from the couch and you watch him cross towards the door. But just when he was about to reach the space of your carpet, Zhongli pulled to an abrupt stop.

"Ah yes,” He began as if remembering something, “ Do you happen to know where the nearest Inn is located? I would need to find a place to shelter for the time being."

"..."

This was how the former god ended up being your roommate. Like Xiao, Zhongli also takes upon a human form. He needed to eat, drink and a place to sleep. He insisted that he would take the couch as well as help you with any tasks that needed to be completed during the day.

You question if Zhongli was even aware of what situation he was currently in. Answer: HE WASN'T because Zhongli is an extremely dense man. To feel embarrassed was not part of his dictionary when living with a woman.

The type to take long showers. You always find the bathroom steaming because he doesn't turn on the fan to get rid of it (but maybe you should've taught him). So when it was your turn to use the shower, the water was either lukewarm or worst case scenario, cold.

Also he somehow finds your old kettle (that your grandfather used) to brew tea even though you told him you already had a water boiler. He stated that he liked doing things the old-fashioned way, it brings him a sense of nostalgia. You couldn't understand what he meant (unless you considered that he was older than he seemed....no that can’t be it!)

Despite it all, Zhongli was incredibly polite and considerate. Tending the farm was not an easy job and you often came home with sore muscles, fatigued from running so many errands. He's knowledgeable in terms of making the best herbal mix for a soothing remedy.

You would see a warm cup, every morning before going to work and every time you come home, it was sitting on the kitchen table (if his drink had potion effects, they would be regeneration).

Gentle he was but it wasn't good for your heart.

Ever since Zhongli moved in, it became difficult to live in your own house.

There were many situations where he caused trouble despite not intending to cause disruption to your daily routine. And when he did, the repairs came out of your own pocket. One time you opened your microwave to find thick ash and burnt cinders stuck upon the walls.The entire space was a hazard and needed to be dispensed immediately since Zhongli thought that plastic-wrapped items were allowed to be microwaved. Another incident, as bizarre as it sounded, was when your vacuum cleaner zoomed out of your house...and never came back. You remembered the awkward cough he gave when you shot him a deathly glare, hence why Zhongli was not allowed to touch your high-tech devices (if you considered them high-tech) without your permission.

Even so, you couldn’t bring yourself to hate him. It was the opposite in fact. One day, all the flaws you counted suddenly became his charms. You came to find them endearing almost.

Zhongli was a handsome man. He carried himself with a distinct aura that could only be found in the rarest geodes; revealing orestones mined from the depths of a forgotten cave, sometimes in the shape of exquisite artifacts-- a type of ancient charm. Perhaps that was why people were willing to obey his every command without hesitation. Whenever Zhongli spoke, it was full of firmness and authority yet somehow deprived of arrogance. He was polite to all and does not indulge in conflict despite how tempting gossip can be in modern society. Always patient during your temperamental moments and considerate to the point you wonder if he even had any desires. He was so kind that soon enough, you couldn't help but be flustered by his presence. Forget about having a conversation, maintaining his leveled gaze was already enough of a challenge. Like staring into the sun after the morning dew. So gentle and so very comforting. But the more you linger onto the sun, it's rays will continue to set ablaze, eventually bringing you pain.

And you feared that you have grown addicted to those feelings.

Why can't he understand?

Stopping at the center of the bridge, you kept your head low while letting the anger take form into your tightened fists. The town was empty with only the sound of water flowing beneath your feet, filling the heavy air. They rippled and swayed, peaceful amongst your inner turmoil. The fact that such a miniscule attribute was able to make your blood rise was hilariously pitiful. How did you stoop to a point that even nature, the very being you've tended for a living, could bring you bitterness? Were your feelings this uncontrollable? The answer was obvious. It spiraled, violently and mercilessly as if commanded by another. There was a wave of emotions filling your heart and you could almost feel yourself drowning from the inside. If only they were as tranquil as the ones you stood upon.

"I thought I would find you here."

The voice you dreaded calls from across and you fight to keep yourself from gasping. Oblivious to it all, Zhongli proceeds to close the distance until he towered over you, looking down to your bowed head, "When you hadn't returned home without a notice, I was getting worried if something had happened. But I'm glad that wasn't the case."

Your whole face clenches.

"Is something bothering you? If you would like, we can discuss it after eating dinner. Come, I have already prepared our meal while you were gone as well as turning off the rice cooker once finished. I hope it can ease your stress since I know it can be difficult maintaining a farm like this."

"Zhongli."

He blinks hard when the sound of his name falls out of your lips. Zhongli was an experienced observer and listener, he was able to catch the glimpse of frustration that dripped from the tone you used. Relaxing his poised shoulders, Zhongli carefully asked in a reserved manner, "Have I...done something to make you upset?"

A trembled breath escaped when you breathed out. Dense. He was so dense that sometimes it made you want to crack him open.

"Tell me..." you began, "Are you also like this with other women?"

The former god sets a brief sharp pause, "I beg your pardon?"

"I'm talking about the way you act, they're...giving me all these mixed signals. We've been living together for months, we even share meals together! And sometimes you would help me with the farm and when I didn't ask, you still insisted on tending to my needs when I felt sick. I just…” you trailed off, trembling ever so slightly, "It's all perfectly normal. You’re nice to everyone. I know that. I know that!"

"(Y/n)," Zhongli whispered. They sounded like a thousand needles to your heart.

"I doubt you have the intention to put me in this situation. You're a really great person Zhongli but I sometimes can't help feeling this isn't just some roommate thing you know?" closing your eyes, you thought of your past relationships, how they started and ended, "Do any of your actions mean anything to you? Do you know how it makes me feel? Or am I just overthinking this, that it was all one-sided this whole time?"

Alas the truth spills and the air stills, bringing the waves to a halt. Peace, tranquility, nothingness. That was all you wanted. That was all you heard. It was deafening.

"I see, so that's why," Zhongli mutters to himself with eyes narrowed, "There's...something I need to confess."

After several months, he tells you everything. How his memories returned, some of them were already intact. He told you about his homeland and his true identity, that he was a god that once ruled over Liyue for six centuries before giving away the gnosis.

The reason why he hadn't said anything until now was because there will be a day where Zhongli must depart and return to Teyvat. He was a god with a contract, the circumstance didn't matter, he must stay with it until the very end of time.

Through his years, Zhongli learned to cherish his finite moments. He didn't want to taint them with troubles to come. Thinking too far ahead into the future would only bring strain.

But what he didn't tell you was his true feelings. You were a sweet woman, tender and enthusiastic about agriculture, the way your feelings extend to the earth with grace whereas many others chose to trample over without hesitation, he fell deeply in love with that side of yours. You taught him many things and showed him many sides of humanity that he had never seen before. He even discovered an aspect of himself. Like breaking a geode, revealing the beauties held inside.

Zhongli couldn't look you in the eye when your expression was covered in disbelief. He thought he hid his feelings well but it seemed that he was expressing his love in subtle and subconscious ways that eventually drove you to fall for him as well. You didn't stop him when he left the bridge. He wasn't even in your house. He chose this, he chose to set you free from his heavy presence.

And as the weight started to lift from your shoulder, you sank to your knees and wept. It was cruel of him. To give you these emotions yet he could not bring himself to stay by your side. But your heart would not allow you to hate the man you love.

Things couldn't end this way. You had to say goodbye to him, see him one last time because if you didn't, these burdens will haunt you forever.

When Zhongli looked up to the sky he saw his ending drawing near.

Three days had passed since he last spoke with you and he had no plans in seeing you again. Soon, the former god will return to his rightful place. Even though he had already given his gnosis to the Cryo Archon as Liyue already began to enter a new era, it seems that his decisions weren't his to make as he was born in a world where stars ruled above the archons. Fate-- they won't allow it. He does not belong here. If there was one thing Zhongli regretted during his time in your world, it was that he couldn't leave you a good memory before taking his departure. The sight of your large glassy eyes and quivering lips when he crushed you with the truth, he sincerely believed that they would haunt him much more than it probably did to you. But perhaps things would be easier if you despised him. Because if he had stayed and you came to forgive him, he would no longer have the strength to let go.

Despite it all love was indeed a selfish creature. He couldn't help but feel resentment towards the stars for bringing you into his life in such a mockingly sweet manner. They tied him with a contract, made him vow to his own beliefs and tested them by using you-- a bystander struck between the crossfire, eventually bringing you down into the depths of his battlefield and he thought that maybe...maybe there was hope that he could bring you with him as well.

How disgraceful for a god to let the devil tempt him so.

Zhongli was thankful that you weren't beside him. Otherwise he would dance with the ugly hope of a slim chance for you to come along. This was the best choice. It was for his-- your own good.

"Zhongli!"

The arch of his lined eyes shot upwards. As if fate had decided to give him one final test, he felt your small figure crash into him from behind and your arms coming to hug around his waist, tightly and fearfully that he felt like you would be the one who would slip away instead.

"I...I made it time," you panted, burying your nose into his clothed back, "I’m so glad...I'm so glad you're still here…!"

Your cry of relief was a thunder to his ears, a reminder that he was the main cause. Zhongli, casted by solemn smile, lifts his hand to cover over yours and grasped onto them, I'm here, he wishes to say. Yet he knew they were only temporary promises, "To come all this way despite everything that has happened. You foolish girl..."

"It's your fault Zhongli, I'm a fool because I love you! It's all your fault that I have to say goodbye," You grit your teeth as the tears fell down your face until it blended into his clothes, "Take me with you. Please. Don't leave me all alone…!"

The words he wanted to say melted into a silent gasp through parted lips. Zhongli merely clenched them back together and his hand on your hand, even tighter. He won't lie to you. At the very least, let his actions speak for him where he himself could not.

Take me with you.

Don't leave me alone.

Goodbye.

If it is fated Morax...we will meet again.

"I see," letting his thoughts echo in his mind from the distant memories, the former god begins to take a new perspective upon his wisdom, "For many years, I have experienced countless farewells from the people I've come to known," Zhongli reminisced, tilting his head back with his golden eyes against night, as if searching for some sort of answer, "And yet I never thought what it must have felt like being in their position."

"Zhongli…" you trailed off, "Then don't! I may not know everything about you but it doesn't have to be this way. At least, just answer me this, will I ever see you again?"

"I'm sorry (Y/n)," he apologized and you knew the answer. He gently pries your arms off him, turning around so he could swipe the corner of your eyes dry. There was a glowing reverence in his countenance, one that he reserved for you and only you, it was the only way for him to express the feelings that run deep in his heart, "I cannot thank you enough for coming into my life. If there will be a day when I erode from your memories, I truly hope that you will find someone more suitable than I."

"That's ridiculous," defiantly, refusedly, you protest, "No one can replace you."

Zhongli laughs sadly as the white halo outlines his whole figure, signaling that there wasn't much time left. He wonders if there was anything he could do in his last moments, a small token, something, it could even be as small as a single star in the sky, "If it is fated...we will meet again."

You watch him turn transparent until he slipped from your grasp. No longer was the man, only the dust being one with the sky. They shone brilliantly but you were left in the darkness.

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luvluvnitrodynamite · 3 years ago

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jealous jujutsu kaisen characters <3

ft. itadori yuuji, gojou satoru g/n!reader (sfw, with some suggestive themes in gojou)

itadori yuuji - watching itadori get jealous is a bit cute, if you're being honest. i mean, take what happened in the grocery store yesterday. ~ "yuuji, we're out of rice," you say to him, re-checking your list. "we're out of rice??? impossible. i just had some yesterday." you sigh. "be that as it may, that doesn't change the fact that we don't have it anymore. can you grab it really fast?" he pouts a bit. you're not sure if he genuinely doesn't want to leave your side or if he's just stalling to remember where the rice aisle is. regardless, you don't want to stand here all day. "yuuji, i'll give you a kiss as a reward if you get it for me." he perks up immediately, giving you a grin and a thumbs up before dashing in the opposite direction. you smile to yourself. itadori may have been an idiot, but he's your idiot. the thought warms your heart. you push your cart of the produce section and into a large selection of rows, choosing one closest to you. you seem to be in the tea aisle. oh good, you think. we've been out of tea for a couple of days now. you peruse the section, picking up some green tea. you get some chamomile as well, stacking the boxes carefully so they won't get crushed by fruits. mmm what about chai? you search the boxes, only to see it's at the very top self. you reach up, fingers just barely touching the platform it's on. you can't even brush up against the box. you try standing on tiptoes, looking a bit silly as you try to extend your body beyond its natural length. you're thinking maybe you should wait for itadori to get back when a different hand easily plucks the box off the shelf. you follow the hand to its owner, to see it belongs to a tall guy about your age. he's cute you suppose, but it's no itadori. still, you smile sweetly and charm him with a "thank you! there was no way I was going to reach that." He smiles broadly back at you. "No problem," he replies. "You like chai tea?" You want to be polite and he's nice enough, so you respond "definitely! I don't know if it's my favorite, but it's a staple in my pantry." He blushes a bit, and scratches his hand behind his neck. "Yeah, same," he says. "There's actually a really nice café that opened up a few blocks away from here. They make a mean cup of chai, and they have these delicious little cinnamon rolls that go really well with them. If you're free any time soon, do you want to try one with me?" You open your mouth to politely turn him down when you feel a protective arm wrap around your waist. You turn your head to see a pink-cheeked itadori glaring at the stranger. he does look mad, but you also think he just looks so cute. ah, the duality of man. "oh, hi yuuji! did you get the rice?," you ask him. you have priorities, after all. "yeah," he says, not moving his arm or his gaze. "who's this, love?" oh, he's really jealous if he's pulling out the love. you try to defuse the situation. "oh, this guy just helped me get some tea from the top shelf. thanks again!" you say. the guy was not expecting a wild itadori to emerge from the tall grass, and is trying to figure a way out. "no problem," he repeats. "i'll see you around, yeah?" without waiting for a response, he puts the tea in your cart and walks away. "did you know that guy?" you ask, as itadori relaxes and puts the rice in the cart. "no, but it sure looks like you did," he says, a bit annoyed. "yuuji, are you jealous?" you tease. "no! of course not!" he retorts. his cheeks are still pink though, and now he's looking around like he expecting another guy to run through and sweep you up in their arms. you decide to take mercy on him, and tug one of his hands in your own. "hey, don't i owe you a reward for getting my rice?" he perks up, and flicks his gaze almost imperceptibly towards your mouth. you sweetly press his lips to his cheek, and smile innocently when he gives you an annoyed look. you turn around to go the cart, only to see that the tea guy has returned. itadori sees him too, and he looks mad again. however, instead of confronting him, he looks at you and says,

"c'mon, i meant a real kiss." he gently places his hands on your face and pulls you in. it's a light, yet passionate kiss. the rhythm is slow and soft, but there's a definite intensity behind it. his tongue has just swiped your bottom lip, entering your mouth when you remember that you're in public. you pull away and glance at the end of the aisle. the guy is gone. you glance at itadori. he is grinning triumphantly at you. you smile in spite of yourself, going back over to the cart. "yuuji?" he comes over, wrapping his arms around you and placing his head over your shoulder. "yes, my love?" "you got the wrong kind of rice." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ gojou satoru - a jealous gojou is not a good gojou. if you think he's annoying normally, it's about to get so, so, so much worse. ~ "satoru please!" you beg. you're feeling desperate now, there's no other way out. you two have gone to the park for a picnic to savor one of his rare days off. the spot you chose was warm and sunny with few people around; the day was supposed to be lovely. and it was, at least for a while. you had spent just the last hour cloud-watching, peacefully pointing out odd shapes in the sky. really though, you were just taking an excuse to lay on his stomach and talk. you two get so little time together like this that you try to savor every moment. however, in your analysis of a banana-shaped cloud far on the horizon, you noticed a familiar shape. the shape of your ex, to be precise. you stiffen, and gojou notices. "hey," he says. "what's wrong?" you don't respond immediately; your mind is swirling with schemes to avoid them. if you guys packed up now, could you go without being noticed? no, you were too close. could you hide? no, there wasn't anywhere to duck behind. you had to stop time somehow, but how? gojou waves his hand over your face. "hey? everything ok down there? have you gone into the void?" he asks. you start to glare at him, but then his words hit you in the face. the void. he can draw your ex into the void while you make a hasty getaway. you sit up, dropping your angry look and switching to a more saccharine one. "satoru," you start. "can you do a favor for me?" he gives you an easy smile. "of course, anything for you," he replies. "great, can you trap the person in the white shirt over there into the infinite void?" that certainly gets his attention. "i'm sorry, what?" he asks incredulously. "ok, so that's my ex over there. things ended kind of...awkwardly, and I just don't want to deal with this right now. could you trap them into the void before they notice me?" "i don't think the relationship was the thing that was awkward love. maybe you should just, you know, face the problem head on?" he suggests. "it can't be that bad. and even if it is, at least it'll be entertaining. actually, i'll give you two some privacy!" he says cheerfully, and promptly leaves. that brings you to your current predicament. you could be responsible and mature, but that would involve getting over your breakup. you may have slightly understated the awkwardness of the situation. truthfully, you got dumped and you pined over your ex for weeks afterward. you especially did not take it when when you were being broken up with. you begged them not to leave you while crying, making quite the scene in the restaurant they had chosen. now, with no lingering emotions, you just feel guilty and embarrassed for how you acted. but that was in the past, and you could move past that as long as it wasn't walking up to you. and now with gojou walking away, and them walking up...oh no. oh no oh no ohnonono. you take a deep breath in, and breathe out. i'm not the same person i was then, you think to yourself. this thought steadies your nerves; in fact, maybe gojou was right. you have been wondering what they’ve been up to, after all, and you might stop feeling guilty if you apologize. a bright and cheerful “hey!!” jolts you out of your thoughts; there they are. “hey,” you respond, a bit less cheerfully. you push yourself up off the ground to

greet them, and are a bit surprised when they pull you into a hug. it’s a more intimate hug than you would have guessed, with their hands snaking around your waist and gently cradling your head. they smell...nice, you think to yourself. as you pull away, you feel watched. you’re not sure from where, since you can’t see him, but you know gojou is watching you. well, good. he refused to help you out of this mess, so maybe you’ll make him suffer a bit. neither one of you say anything for a second.. “so….i guess how are you?” they ask you, smiling. “i’m great,” you reply. “how are you?” you ask. “good.” you stand there, neither one of you wanting to interrupt the delicate silence. “so,” you both say at the same time. you guys laugh, and just like that, the weird silence dissipates. “you go first,” they say to you. “well, i just want to say that i’m sorry. i know breaking up was probably hard for you, but i think i just made it harder by, you know, being unable to let us go. that was unfair to you and it definitely made things harder for me, so i’m really sorry about that.” “oh, wow,” your ex say, a bit surprised. “well, that sort of contrasts what i’m about to say. i was going to say that you were right.” huh? what? you furrow your eyebrows together, and stare back with a bemused expression. “i was right?” you venture. “about...what?” your ex sheepishly scratches the back of their head, giving you an embarrassed smile. “about us, i mean. you kept telling me that we were better together, and that we would only be unhappy apart. i know it’s been a while since we were together, but lately it’s all i can think about. i….still think i love you.” well, that was a bombshell. you just stare at them, stunned into silence. “sorry, i know that this is way too much for just meeting again; you just looked so beautiful and it reminded me of when we were together and i just miss being together and -- ah, i’m rambling like a crazy person now, aren’t i?” they wryly ask. you giggle. “just a bit,” you respond. they take your hands into theirs, tracing their thumb lightly over your skin. their eyes are honest, and their face is hopeful. “i know this is really sudden, but would you maybe want to get dinner with me soon? you don’t have to, of course, but…?” they pull one hand out, and drift it up to your face, caressing your jawline with such care that if you were not previously engaged, you might have melted into their arms right there. but you already had a boyfriend, even if he was an annoying one. you thought briefly about pretending to accept their offer, just to needle him, but decided against it. instead, you just kindly smiled at your ex, and pull their hand from your face. “this is really sweet,” you say. “but, unfortunately, i’m already taken.” their face falls, but they quickly mask it with a smile. “ah, i get it. someone as amazing as you would get snapped up fast. it was just my mistake to let you go,” they say, pulling back. “well, why don’t we start over with this. how about instead of a romantic dinner date, we just get coffee sometime. no love attached,” they add. “sure,” you respond. “i have been wanting to know what you’ve been up to.” “same here, how about tomorrow at 11?” they ask. “it’s a date!” you joke. “now, what’s a date?” you hear a familiar, slightly pouty voice from behind you. of course. why wouldn’t gojou appear at the worst possible time. you turn to your boyfriend, who has a shit-eating grin on his face. he’s planning something, but what? “hey ‘toru, this is my ex." you face your ex. "this is my boyfriend, gojou satoru." your ex smiles at him, blissfully unaware. "nice to meet you. we were just planning on getting some coffee soon." “oh, is that so? you’re not trying to steal my love away from me, are you?” there’s no threat in his voice, no hostility, but all the same your ex seems to pick up on his vexing energy and straightens up a little bit. “no, of course not,” they say. “hmmm, i believe you. but all the same, i could have sworn i heard talk of

a date. that reminds me love, weren’t we just finishing up on a date ourselves?” you sigh. “yes, we were.” turning to your ex, you turn back to say goodbye. that, however, is cut off by your lovely boyfriend picking you up and throwing you over his shoulder like a sack of flour. shocked, you pound your fists against his back. “gojou satoru, put me down right now.” gojou ignores you, instead sticking one hand out to shake your ex’s hand. “sorry to cut this short, but we simply must finish our date back at our place. wish i could invite you, but this is a more private activity.” he cheerfully states. mortified, you start kicking him and hitting him even harder. “ ‘toru! put me down so i can dump you right here and now!” “ahh, can’t have that now. we’d best get going so that someone learns a lesson, see you around!” with that and a quick sweep down to gather the picnic supplies, gojou carries you kicking and screaming out of the park. once outside, he puts you down. “satoru, what the absolute hell was that??? that was so embarrassing!” you cry out. “it was your idea to let me deal with that, and then you swoop in once it’s all taken care of? now they’re going to think i’m...i’m... i don’t even know what they’ll think of me, but i’m sure it won’t be positive!” “shhhh,” says gojou. “you might make a scene.” if you were mad before, well, now you’re apoplectic. “a scene???? i might make a scene?” you spit out seethingly. the entire way home, you tear into him for embarrassing you in front of your ex and an entire park full of people. finally, you get home and you drop the j-word. “and all this because you were just jealous??” now that you’ve dropped the threshold of your front door and pulled the trigger, gojou’s entire demeanor shifts. he drops the picnic supplies and picks you up again, but instead of going over his shoulder you’re now up against the wall. you instinctively wrap your arms and legs around him to keep from falling, skillfully intertwining your bodies together. his blindfold has slipped off, and now his piercing blue eyes are pouring into yours with a powerful intensity. your previous angry words slip off into the void, as you’re transfixed by the way he’s staring at you. he leans forward to rest his forehead against yours, the tips of your noses just barely touching. “yeah,” he breathes. “i got jealous. i let an ex come up to you and try to take you away, and i only sat there and watched. i knew you would never cheat on me, but i just got annoyed with myself for encouraging that. you mean too much to me to just let you be taken by someone else, so i really wanted to get you out of there as fast as possible. so, yeah, i’m sorry for embarrassing you. let me make it up to you?” it’s hard to say no in this position, but you try to hold your resolve. “satoru, you just can’t do that. promise me you’ll never do that again?” he’s still looking at you with that seriousness, so he replies “yes” with uncharacteristic sincerity. there’s nothing out of character though about the way he moves in to kiss you though, full of desire and need. you fall into a steady rhythm, a sweet push-and-pull of dominance flicking between you two. gojou suddenly takes over, and just as suddenly, he pulls away and starts carrying you to the nearest flat surface. “let me show you how much you mean to me, yeah?”

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justholdingstill · 3 years ago

Text

First is a pop and a scratch; there is a breath of quiet, long and deep. Then there is a heartbeat, drumming steady, growing louder and more urgent as the seconds tick by.

His fingers are nimble and practiced--graceful, even--despite the scars and calluses layered over one another, despite the pinky finger that was broken and healed months ago and which no longer moves quite the way it was meant to. They are beautiful hands. Steady, firm. Castiel has seen them stitch wounds and field strip guns and dissect vegetables for dinner, all with the same precise efficiency that they now apply to the task at hand.

He exhales through his nose; the heartbeat blends itself into a brief, confusing jumble of noises that resolve into a jarring wail and then melt, almost improbably, into the first lazy guitar chord of the album, which ripples its way down his spine like a physical thing. If pressed to describe the sensation, he would call it warm and liquid and highly gratifying. Tingly, even. It makes him shudder and sigh out loud.

Nobody asks, but he says so anyway. Dean laughs at him. “You are, like...you are really fucking high, huh, sweetheart?”

He licks the glue on the rolling paper and twists his handiwork just a bit tighter, presenting it to Castiel with the corner of his mouth ticked up. His eyes are very red. “You sure you wanna smoke another one?”

“I was under the impression that being ‘really fucking high’ was the sole purpose of this endeavour, Dean,” Castiel tells him coolly. He makes a broad, dismissive gesture, discovering as he does so that there’s still a chocolate chip cookie in his hand.

“All right, all right, preaching to the choir here, buddy.” Dean fumbles for his lighter, the flame briefly illuminating the planes of his face as he tilts it down toward the cradle of his hands. There’s the syrupy-sharp tang of smoke on the air again after a moment; Castiel chews his cookie and watches in fascination as Dean parts his lips (just as beautiful as those hands--as every inch of him, really) to let it spill out between them in a languorous white plume, as lingering as revelation and as heady as desire. He coughs a little bit at the end of the exhale, chuckling at himself this time before he waves the joint in Castiel’s face. “Your turn. And quit bogarting those, I had a hard enough time hiding half the batch from Jack and Sam.”

Reluctantly, Castiel trades Dean for the plastic container and tries not to be too distracted by the way he dives into the cookies with gusto, shoving one into his mouth practically whole with a bone-deep hum of satisfaction. Castiel occupies himself with dropping back into the pillows as he takes a few careful drags, his eyes catching on the record cover that Dean had been using as a rolling surface, forgotten in his lap.

“Is this considered homosexual music?”

Dean chokes, clapping a hand over his mouth so he doesn’t spray crumbs. Once he’s calmed himself enough to swallow, he reaches over to pluck the joint back and eyes Castiel warily. “Not really, I guess? Why would you ask that?”

“There’s a--a prism. On the cover. A rainbow. And when we went to Pride with Charlie you said that rainbows are often used by the ‘gay community’--”

“Not again with the fucking air quotes,” Dean interjects.

“...fine, gay community. You said that rainbows can a way for the gay community to acknowledge and recognize each other. Is this gay music?”

Dean belly-laughs at that, though not unkindly. “Nah, man,” he says, still grinning, “I’m pretty sure that Pink Floyd are pretty damn straight. Although, what do I know for sure? Sometimes it’s just some cool imagery.”

Castiel nods. He mulls this over as Dean smokes, his face warming when Dean crowds up into his personal space to share his breath with Castiel, lung to lung, so nearly mouth to mouth. Dean has told him on previous occasions that this is called “shotgunning”, but he’s not sure why; it clearly has no relation to either firearms or violence, but that hardly seems to matter when it brings Dean so close, the green of his eyes bright and intent with something that Castiel had once thought he’d never have a name for.

Dean sucks in more air, and then he’s kissing Castiel for real, soft and wet, luxuriating in it. This--this lights up Castiel’s nerves just as much as the music does, more, pleasure pooling and igniting wherever Dean’s body is in contact with his own, waves of it rolling and breaking through his whole nervous system. It’s overwhelming, especially in combination with the female vocalist reaching for some explosive notes, now, singing as if they’re being physically tugged from the center of her chest by an unseen hand.

Castiel thinks he might understand how that feels.

“Jesus,” Dean gasps, breaking away to flop down beside him, raking a hand through his own hair. He dissolves into giggles, and Castiel can’t help but laugh with him. “I am blitzed, man. This is embarrassing.”

“I’m the only other person here,” Castiel feels obligated to point out, nuzzling at his ear, “and I have literally seen your soul at its barest and at its lowest. Is this really what embarrasses you?”

“Shut up,” Dean says, muffled because he’s hiding his face in Castiel’s shoulder, blushing so hard that he might as well be glowing. Castiel can actually feel the warmth of it radiating through the cotton of his shirt; it makes him want.

“So this,” he says, hesitant, picking up the earlier thread of their conversation. “This--you only do it with me. Not with Sam. Not with Charlie or Jody--at least not like this. But these, um. These... meetings...aren’t about us, about what--what we do together?”

“Jesus,” Dean groans again, rolling his eyes, adding a heartfelt, “Christ.” He hauls himself up off the bed and strips off his shirt, gesturing at Castiel to do the same. “Take your damn clothes off already, man.” He seems to catch himself on how that sounds, because he pauses with one hand on the buckle of his belt before shaking his head, grinning at some private joke. “I mean, yeah, I guess it’s a little bit about that. But no, Cas, we don’t hang out smoking weed and listening to the classics because it’s some kind of agenda, because you and I are, uh...you know. Because rainbows,” he offers, very careful to look anywhere but directly at Cas.

Castiel tilts his head, listening, and when he doesn’t speak, Dean blusters on. “No, it’s ‘cause you’re stuck with me, you know? Stuck with us, stuck here, stuck human...I guess I just figure if you’ve gotta take the lumps of it, the sore backs and the seasonal colds and the, the shitty truck stop coffee of it all, you should have some of the good stuff, too. If I’m not the one to teach you the finer points of stoner rock, ok, who will? It’s not all bad here, and I just want to make sure you know that.”

Finished with his speech, Dean grabs awkwardly for another cookie, presumably to stop himself from rambling any further. Something light and fond unfurls itself inside Castiel; he reaches out to draw Dean down into his arms again. “I assure you, Dean,” he says gravely, “I am absolutely certain of it.” Dean offers him a bite, which he accepts with equal gravity.

All of their kisses are delicious, to be fair, but they are undeniably more delightful chased with chocolate.

“Anyway,” Dean says with his mouth full, “take your fucking pants off. You wanna talk gay music? It’s gonna be Night at the Opera next, and that’s really gonna bake your noodle.”

_________________

Read it here on AO3!

#suptober21 #prompt: rainbows #Destiel fanfic #castiel/dean winchester #recreational marijuana use #silly fluff #dean introduces cas to the finer points of classic stoner rock ok #I don't make the rules #established relationship #faintly AU #but not really because #fuck canon gently with a rusty chainsaw #suptober #it's late!#but I'm writing and posting so who cares!!!!

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saturdaysky · 4 years ago

Note

Time-traveling Caleb meets Essek as a child please.

(from the ask me about my WIP meme)

This WIP was one of the first things I wrote when I decided I wanted to learn to write late last year!

It began as a snippet I was writing for a prompt in the big Essek discord, something along the lines of “kid Essek proposes marriage to Caleb” -- pretty fluffy, lighthearted, and cute. Naturally this meant I plotted something bittersweet about love and the grief for selves who never were and whom we no longer have a chance to be.

The premise: Sometime in the future, Essek and Caleb are together and have developed a spell that allows temporary travel to a decayed or decaying timeline. Caleb uses it and accidentally winds up much further back in time than intended, where he meets Essek as a child. Young Essek is lonely and hides Caleb on the Thelyss estates for a week or so while Caleb rides out the spell. From there, it’s a character study as Caleb gets to know Essek in his early life.

I don’t know if I’ll finish this one. Reading through it, if I returned to it I’d want to rewrite most of it since I understand writing and these characters a little better now. So who knows! Have part of 2 scenes. :)

Scene: One hour before the spell ends and the timeline decays for good

At the sound of Caleb’s footsteps in the courtyard, Essek turns slowly to face him, posture exactingly correct in a way that speaks of both practice and nerves. He inclines his head and folds his hands in formal greeting, the grace of the gesture falling a little awkwardly on his small frame.

“Master Widogast,” he begins, and then stops. Takes a shallow breath. “I know you are to depart today. I- I wished to speak with you before you are gone.”

His tone reaches for the chilly gravitas of his mother, but a muddled panic lurks around the edges of his words. Caleb returns the formal greeting, but lets his lips curve into a friendly smile. “I am here to listen. What would you ask of me?”

The lines of Essek’s shoulders ease a fraction. He drifts over, ignoring the whorls of the tiled labyrinth below in favor of making a line straight to Caleb. He stops a foot and a half away, as close as etiquette allows, and fidgets, one hand twisting the edge of a sleeve.

“I...there is a parting gift I wished to give you.” Essek’s small fingers shake a little as he draws the line to open his wristpocket. The spell takes and he lets out a satisfied hum as a small black codex tumbles into his hands.

“I made this,” he says, pride suffusing his voice. His courteous smile brightens into unguarded excitement, before fading into something small and hesitant. “It is for you. I know you are going far away somewhere, so...so in case you need to study the floating spell I taught you, I thought you might wish for reference.”

He thrusts the book up at Caleb. “Do not show anyone. Ah, Verin said I should not have told you things at all and I could get in trouble, so maybe keep it secret.”

Caleb turns the object over in his hands. It’s a small booklet of notes on dunamancy, written in a child’s scrawl. Essek has written out the directions for the cantrip that lets him float, each step of the spell thoroughly but ineptly diagrammed. Here and there in the margins are poorly-drawn creatures it takes Caleb a moment to realize are cats.

No, Caleb realizes, not cats: cat. All of them are Frumpkin, and all of them have been drawn with the earnest appreciation of a young boy who has seen exactly one cat in his entire life and is making up for lost time.

Caleb traces a finger over the drawings, despair catching at his throat. He wants nothing more than to gather this desperately lonely child into his arms and shield him from the future that will turn him jaded and cruel, that will rip out this tender heart and replace it with callous intent.

But he can’t. He can’t save this Essek. This young echo will be gone forever in an hour. Caleb swallows the lump in his throat.

“You are very kind, Master Thelyss,” he says a little hoarsely. “It was an honor to be your student.”

Scene: Caleb returns from the spell

“Welcome back.” Essek’s silhouette is bent over the desk in front of him as he scratches out notes on a large piece of vellum, but he straightens and glances in Caleb’s direction. His sleeves are rolled up and there is a bit of ink smudged on his nose Caleb is sure he doesn’t know is there.

“Hallo,” Caleb says, meeting Essek’s eyes. They are worried and lovely, and a little tired.

Essek scans Caleb’s body, as if checking to make sure he has all the same appendages he left with. Satisfied, he lets a lopsided smile curl over his face.

“Hallo,” he replies. “That was longer than expected. Did you find the information you were looking for?”

“I did, eventually.”

Essek's eyes narrow, gaze assessing. He sets the pen down on the desk, and turns to fully face Caleb. “But…?”

There is no point in hiding it. “The spell took me back further than intended. I also met you there. As a child.” Shock briefly paints itself on Essek’s face.

“Ah. Unexpected, I- Well,” he says, slim, dark fingers twisting over themselves once before falling still, “I’m sure that was an enlightening experience.” Essek’s voice is light and carefully neutral. By degrees, his smile evens out, grows soft and pleasant. Opaque. Untouchable.

It is the last thing Caleb wants to see right now.

He crosses the floor and Essek looks up at him, eyes shuttered. Caleb cups his face and guides him into a kiss, soft at first, merely comforting himself with Essek’s presence. Essek leans into it. Comfort for the two of them, maybe.

Caleb is good at kissing, and over the last decade, he’s made a dedicated effort to be good at kissing Essek, specifically. He nips at a lower lip and deepens the kiss, drawing a decidedly unchaste noise from Essek. It soothes something in Caleb to hear it, this spark of passion beneath the mask. After a moment, fingers curl into Caleb’s shirt.

Caleb pulls back and whispers into Essek’s ear, pleased to feel him shiver in response. “You were quite the, ah, charmer. You offered your hand in marriage. Scandalous.”

Essek lets out an undignified little snort that charms Caleb to his bones. “I should think I have made my desire for you quite clear in the present. Do not try to play me against my child self, Widogast.” As if to emphasize the point, his fingers slide from Caleb’s chest, over his sides, and onto his back with deliberate slowness. Caleb doesn’t even try to repress his own shiver, and he can feel the resulting smugness radiating from Essek.

“You also taught me to float. You were a very enthusiastic teacher.”

“Did I?” Amusement drips from Essek’s voice. “It is handy for you that you figured that one out yourself years ago.” Over Essek’s shoulder, Caleb can see the notes and diagrams he’s working on. All letters and lines are crisp and precise; not a single wasted mark. There is no hint of embellishment here, Caleb sees. There are no more earnest drawings.

He buries his face in the crook where Essek’s neck meets his shoulder, taking in the comforting, familiar scent of him. Essek shifts to allow him better access, and Caleb breathes him in, letting grief settle in his chest.

After a moment, Essek’s fingers begin to trace lightly across his back, drawing comforting and repetitive patterns. Spell runes, Caleb realizes, and closes his eyes.

You were an earnest child, he does not say, and so achingly desperate for connection that you hid a strange mage in your house and taught him your favorite spell. He does not say, you were kind and you still had hope when you were young. You still talked to your brother. You loved magic like a friend, and no blood stained your hands for it.

Essek knows. Essek does not welcome pity, and Caleb cannot blame him for it. Caleb does not welcome it either.

#asks #my writing #sky learns to write 2k21 #essek thelyss #caleb widogast #shadowgast #catalists #the cool thing about being pretty new at this whole writing business is that you can look back at stuff you wrote and see how much better #you understand what you're doing now than you did then! even if there's certainly still a far distance to go i'm new enough that each step #feels like a big one :)

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bounce-a-coin-off-your-witcher · 3 years ago

Text

Trick or Treat

The next A Very Bouncey Halloween installment and a belated birthday gift to my darling @veritasrose. Thank you so much for the last year of friendship, I look forward to celebrating with you again. <3 you are much loved.

tw: curses, Geralt is an idiot, competent Jaskier

---

Light flashes through the room and momentarily blinds Jaskier, who stumbles back against Geralt. He mumbles an apology to the ever-sturdy Witcher as he waits for his vision to return and when he blinks clearly for the first time after a few long moments, the bard feels utterly and totally confused by the scene unfolding before him.

The Duke’s grandest ballroom, which had been bustling with excitable party guests only moments ago, is now flooded with ghouls, ghosts, vampires, and monsters of all sorts. A woman with swan’s wings is huddled in one corner, squawking angrily at anyone who tries to draw near. A minotaur stumbles through the center of the dance floor, lowing in frustration as he tries to control his bulky limbs. Two werewolves wrestle for dominance atop the furthest banquet table to their left. As Jaskier takes it all in, he feels Geralt’s hands wrap suddenly around his bicep; the Witcher is clinging to Jaskier fiercely, leaning his not insignificant weight against the bard’s side as his eyes grow round and watery.

“What’s happening?” Geralt finally asks. His tone of voice seems breathy and high, filled with a terror - almost totally foreign to Jaskier’s ears. Geralt fears nothing and yet… “Let’s get away from this dreadful place, please!”

“Aren’t you going to try and solve this problem?” Jaskier asks, glancing at his companion. He gestures at the various monsters roaming freely past the buffet table. “You’re likely the nearest Witcher, after all.”

“I’m no Witcher,” Geralt declares. He splays a hand over the very center of his blue velvet doublet (a nearly perfect imitation of the way Jaskier reacts to a perceived offense). “I am a Count. Witchers are dirty things, not meant for such a public life as my own.”

“For fuck’s sake, Geralt, now is not the time for a prank of this nature,” Jaskier huffs. “Something is clearly going on here. We need to help these people!”

“I know something is wrong,” Geralt sniffles - fucking sniffles - and squeezes the bard’s upper arm even more tightly. The sound of Geralt crying shakes Jaskier into understanding, even as Geralt begs: “But I don’t know how to help! Please get me out of here, Milord, I’m scared.”

Milord? Jaskier mouths to himself, even as he wraps one comforting arm around Geralt’s waist and ushers him away from the growing chaos at the center of the ballroom. Jaskier hurries them down one suspiciously empty hallway after another until he reaches the small suite that he had accepted as payment for his performance at the party. Jaskier ushers Geralt inside and locks the heavy oak door behind them.

“My Lord Geralt,” he gets the not-quite-Witcher’s attention. “Do you mind taking a seat by the fire for now? I’ll be right with you as soon as the room is secure, and then we can figure out what’s going on and what to do from here.”

“Yes, Milord,” Geralt nods. He hurries to comply with Jaskier’s request, to the bard’s continuing shock and awe, and stays still and quiet as Jaskier removes his doublet and rolls up his sleeves. Using the strength he’s spent twelve years at Geralt’s side developing, Jaskier shoves a bookcase, a dresser, and an unfortunately designed roll-top desk in front of the locked doors for added protection.

Moving behind Geralt with practiced efficiency, Jaskier also closes, shutters, and locks every window in the room, pulling the curtains closed to keep any light from spilling out and alerting stray creatures of their presence.

When he’s finished locking down all of their room’s possible entrances and breathing hard from exertion, Jaskier tugs the Witcher’s xenovox from his bag and flips it open, waiting with bated breath until Yennefer’s irritated voice snaps: “What do you want, Geralt?”

“Who is that?!” Geralt cries from his place near the fire. He has a white-knuckle grip on the overstuffed armchair he’s perched in and his clothing is mussed; Jaskier motions for him to be quiet and Geralt bites his lip, worrying the soft pink skin between his unusually dull canines.

“Was that Geralt?” Yennefer asks. "Did Jaskier summon me?"

“Yes and yes,” Jaskier replies. “I think he’s been cursed or enchanted or something. I was hired to play at the Duke of Rinde’s All Hallow’s Eve celebration and Geralt accompanied me - even dressed up for the occasion - but something happened at the party and now he’s acting strangely. I don’t know what to do.”

"What's happening?" Yennefer prods.

"Geralt is acting rather out of sorts. He’s speaking strangely, he wanted to flee the party rather than investigate the source of the changes-”

“What changes?”

“Everyone sort of… Well, a good portion of the party guests suddenly transformed into their costumes,” Jaskier explains, his speech stunted by his disbelief. “I know it sounds incredible, and it was! One moment we were all enjoying the music and the next… there was a minotaur and a mermaid and a faun… Geralt went nearly mute and started clinging to my arm like some sort of aristocratic maiden!”

“Oh shit,” Yen groans.

“Who is that?” Geralt repeats. Jaskier continues to ignore his companion. He knows that the moment he turns his attention to caring for Geralt, he won’t be able to tear it away again, and he needs to finish this conversation with Yennefer first.

“Why are you swearing?” he asks the sorceress. “What is it?”

“Geralt asked me for advice about this stupid ball a few days ago, while you were busy making arrangements with the Duke. He wanted to impress you with his All Hallow’s Eve costume and prove that he could be just as fancy and well-mannered as all the other men of your status.”

“Why in the world would Geralt want to dress up and act like a nobleman? It makes no sense! He detests small talk, he hates vanity, and he finds most men of my station to be cowardly and overly delicate - myself included! I just- I don’t quite understand why he’d go through all of this just to impress me. Or why he thinks this kind of thing would be impressive in the first place.”

“Jaskier, please tell me that you aren’t as stupid as our mutually beloved Witcher…”

Jaskier considers for a moment, pondering the things that he does to impress Geralt: gathering wood, learning to cook with game meat, preparing the Witcher’s potion ingredients while he's out on hunts, organizing their packs when they're spiking camp, brushing Roach’s mane… Realization dawns suddenly and all at once. He has a moment of pure understanding, a moment much beloved by every poet, bard, and playwright across the Continent: “Oh.”

Yennefer gives a tired laugh. “Yeah.”

“So he’s stuck as… a noble?”

“I suppose,” she sighs. “I’ll portal you to my location and we can figure things out in peace. Get your things together, I’ll open it up in precisely five minutes.”

“What’s happening!?” Geralt demands. Jaskier pulls the Witcher/Count to his feet and bows shallowly.

“I am Jaskier Pankratz, Viscount de Lettenhove. I will be your protector and chaperone for the foreseeable future, Your Lordship,” Jaskier bows shallowly. “I’m going to gather our things together and then we are going to meet up with a very lovely sorceress, Yennefer of Vengerberg.”

“Is she a friend of yours?”

Jaskier barely manages to hide his surprise at Geralt’s utter lack of recognition. His memories of Yennefer have also been taken, then.

“She’s a mutual friend.”

“Are you my friend?”

“I would like to think so,” Jaskier smiles. Geralt remains oblivious to the bard’s heartache, even as he curls himself against Jaskier. He tucks his face against Jaskier’s shoulder and sobs quietly. The bard runs his hands comfortingly up and down Geralt’s spine for a long, soothing moment. The smooth, royal-blue velvet tickles his fingertips. “Shh, dear heart. I’ve got you. Everything will be alright, I swear.”

“I trust you,” Geralt whispers.

Just as Jaskier is about to reply, Yennefer’s portal snaps open in the center of the room. Jaskier hands Geralt a set of bags and hauls his own over his shoulder. “Time to go, Your Lordship. Just take one little step…”

---

“Do you know who I am?” Yennefer asks. Geralt shakes his head before burying his face in the back of Jaskier’s shoulder-blade.

“I’m so frightened, Milord.”

Frightened? Milord? Yennefer mouths. Jaskier shrugs nearly imperceptibly and makes a panicked gesture in the Witcher’s general direction.

“I don’t know what to do either!”

“Well, start from the beginning. Tell me what happened at the party before all of… this.”

Jaskier recounts every detail he can remember in the most straightforward way possible, momentarily renouncing his poetic skills in favor of efficiency - for Geralt’s sake, of course, not Yennefer’s. When he's finished he asks: “And you said he did all of this to impress me?”

“Yes.”

“But why?” Jaskier repeats his earlier question. Yennefer understands that his meaning is different; Jaskier understands that Geralt is interested in him romantically, but the bard can't seem to get it through his head that Geralt has deemed him worthy. Although, knowing the Witcher, he isn't even sure how to go about doing such a thing in the first place.

"I just... I don’t quite believe you," he adds.

“He loves you,” Yennefer reiterates. "And now he’s stuck like this until the effects of the spell wear off, so I suggest you take his precious Lordship to one of my spare rooms and make yourselves comfortable. I’ll see you both for breakfast, providing the magic is null and void by then.”

“And if it isn’t?”

“I hope you enjoy small talk, you bardic bastard.”

Yennefer smirks and disappears from the room in a whirl of black and white silk, the scents of lilac and gooseberry curling through the air in her wake.

Geralt clings to Jaskier’s bicep again as the exhausted bard stands, keeping his larger body pressed against the human’s side as if Jaskier is the one who wields the Witcher’s swords. “So I’m under a spell?”

“Yes, darling.”

“At least I have you here to protect me, Jaskier. You’re so brave and strong; my hero!”

“It’s usually the other way around, dear heart, but I appreciate the sentiment. Now, how about we find a comfortable place to bed down for the night, Milord?”

"Alright."

Jaskier moves Geralt's hand so that it's curled around the inside of his elbow, the proper etiquette for a platonic escort, and leads him quickly down the long hallways of Yennefer's sprawling manor house. He chooses the blue-themed bedroom at the back of the East Wing, far from the sorceress' own suite of rooms.

He has to help Geralt change out of his lordly costume, the Witcher-turned-Count fumbling uselessly at the laces and buttons as if he'd never seen a fastening before in his life. Geralt whispers shyly as Jaskier pulls a nightshirt over his head: "Thank you again, Milord Jaskier. I feel as if I can't help but continue indebting myself to you."

"Think nothing of it, dear heart," Jaskier smiles, ignoring the pang in his chest. "I am happy to help you."

Jaskier tucks Geralt into bed before changing into his own nightclothes, tossing his things back into their travel bags as he swaps outfits. He feels Geralt tense up when he sits on the edge of the bed and his eyebrows narrow in concern.

"Are you alright, Geralt?"

"Are you going to share a bed with me?"

"Would you rather I didn't?" Jaskier answers with a question of his own.

"I... I wouldn't mind it if we shared."

Jaskier wishes he had Witcher sight, so he could catch a glimpse of the blush no doubt attempting to stain the Witcher's face. Despite the mutagens, Geralt's face still went pale pink when he encountered a strong emotion. It was adorable. And incredibly rare.

As soon as he pulls the covers over his chest, Geralt glues himself to Jaskier's side, snuggling close. "Feels safer," he says in lieu of explanation.

"Goodnight, dear heart."

"Goodnight."

---

"Fuck," Geralt groans, sitting up in bed. Jaskier sits up beside him, wiping the sleep from his eyes with the back of his hand.

"Good morning, Milord," he teases.

"Shut up," Geralt groans. Jaskier does get to see him blush this time, and the bard revels in it; he would trade all the gold in the world to see Geralt flush like this. "I can't believe I cried on you!"

"It was rather adorable, actually."

"Hmm."

"Still..." Jaskier reaches out, tentative, and cups Geralt's cheek with his palm. He turns the Witcher's face and locks their gazes together, blue meeting gold. "Still, I think I prefer you as you are. My big, strong Witcher who cares so much about defending the little guy. Willing to step in and help wherever and whenever he can."

Geralt's eyes get a little glassy and he leans forward, pausing and letting Jaskier make the final decision. The bard meets him halfway, pressing his lips against Geralt's without any sense of urgency at all. It's warm and sweet, time fading away as they let their feelings pour through this one simple gesture. When they pull apart again, Geralt gives a surprised, lopsided smile. "Oh."

#geraskier #geraskier fluff #a very bouncey halloween #geraskier first kiss #geraskier and buffy #btvs au #geraskier fluff and silliness #curses #cursed geralt #nobleman geralt #yennefer was there #bamf jaskier #competent jaskier

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a-small-batch-of-dragons · 3 years ago

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Security Blanket

Prompts: So in a lot of your TSS fics Janus is the one taking care of everyone, giving sweet pet names, and hugging them, but what about a fic where Janus finally gets taken care of…? Just a suggestion! (I also suggest to include angst!) - anon

So many of your fics are Janus taking care of the others (and he is so valid in that, as are you ) (/pos) but it got me thinking of who takes care of Janus?? - anon

Hi! For a prompt, what about Remus and Logan comforting Janus? It can be really angsty or barely enough hurt for hurt/comfort - anon

ooof thank god i get to post something soft today

Read on Ao3

Warnings: hypothermia

Pairings: duckeceit, loceit, DLAMPR, can be platonic or romantic I don't care

Word Count: 3586

As one might be able to imagine, keeping track of Janus at the best of times is an ordeal.

Even if the man weren’t part snake and literally the embodiment of deceit, he’s a private person. He keeps to himself, keeps to his shadows, and when he allows you to discover anything about him—and make no mistake, he is allowing you to do so—it is never enough to answer all the questions you might have about him.

Remus doesn’t ask that many questions.

He doesn’t care, not really, about the precise inner workings of someone’s psyche or the things that make them who they are. That’s Janny’s domain. He knows what buttons to push to make them jump and what things they’re afraid of so he can avoid them—or exploit them—if necessary. But that doesn’t mean he isn’t paying attention.

He knows Janus gets cold. He knows Janus has a hard time being touched. He knows Janus has a very hard going to others for help.

So when there’s an emergency in Thomas’s apartment and the heating’s on the blink, Remus knows he’s got to be the one that finds Janus.

He checks everywhere he can think of. The cupboard under the stairs, the big open carpet near the windows, the corner of the living room made up with blankets and pillows, and nothing. No Snakey.

As a last-ditch attempt, he checks the bathroom.

He opens the door and the thoughts slam into his chest.

It’s so cold, a cold he can feel right down to his bones as if his body is trying to break apart at the seams just to feel something. It’s so lonely, painfully lonely, every ounce of his body screaming for something, anything, someone, anyone. There’s the sharp sting of pain riding an undercurrent of betrayal so vitriolic it almost feels like a violation. And buried beneath it all is the quiet sob of alone, alone, alone, alone.

Remus blinks and finally sees the figure curled up in the shower.

The shower isn’t running, the figure isn’t naked. It’s a huddle of dark clothes, an askew hat, and a yellow blanket clutched tightly over the face. He tries for a breath and the metallic sting of blood hits him square in the nose.

This is so much worse than he thought it would be.

“Jan,” he calls quietly, “Jan-Jan, are you alright?”

If he hears him, he does nothing. He moves closer, stepping into the shower and crouching down.

“Jan-Jan?”

Janus doesn’t flinch, but he’s too still, his breathing too controlled. Fuck. Janus knows he’s here and he’s terrified.

“It’s just me,” he says softly, “it’s just Remus. Are you hurt?”

Still no response. He reaches out to touch his shoulder. Janus reacts to that.

“Whoa, easy,” he soothes when Janus flinches horribly, “I won’t touch you, I won’t touch you, it’s alright.”

He kneels, coming a little closer. Janus still won’t move, won’t speak.

“Janny,” he tries again, “Janny, I can tell you’re bleeding. Let me help you, I won’t be angry if you show me where you’re hurt.”

Janus clutches the blanket tighter. The message is clear; he doesn’t want to move, he doesn’t want to let go. His fingers move a little and he notices that one is badly bruised.

“Snakey, I—easy,” he says, retracting his hand again as he curls tighter, “I’m not trying to take it from you, but you’re hurt, let me help you, please.”

It takes a long time. A long time of murmuring reassurances, a long time of the smell of blood getting stronger and stronger, a long time of wondering how Snakey turned into this frightened creature, before the blanket finally lowers and two eyes poke out over the top.

“Hey, Snakey,” he says softly, smiling and giving him a wave, “want to tell me what’s the matter?”

Janus shakes his head, pressing himself against the shower wall as he clutches the blanket tightly under his chin. Remus swallows a gasp of dismay at his split lip, bruised cheek, and red-rimmed eyes.

“Do you want to show me where else you’re hurt instead?”

Janus shakes his head again, harder this time, and a loose thread gets stuck on his bleeding lip.

“No?” Janus winces when the thread stays there. “Here, let me…”

His eyes go wide as Remus’s hand starts to move.

“I’ll be gentle,” he murmurs, “I promise, I’ll be quick.”

His chest aches as Janus watches his hand like it’s about to bite him, tenderly moving the thread back from his mouth and snapping it away.

“There, that’s better, isn’t it? Oh, you poor thing,” he whispers as fresh tears roll down Janus’s cheeks, “let me help, please?”

Please, Snakey, let me help you.

Janus moves slowly. Too slowly. Every single inch he manages to claw back looks like it aches, his split lip permanently curled into a snarl. If Remus peers close enough, he thinks he can see frost clinging to some of Janus’s scales.

And the blood is coming from somewhere deep within the folds of the fabric.

“Jan,” he says, “we need to get you to Logan, you’re hurt.”

Janus shakes his head, pulling away when Remus tries to help him up.

“Okay, okay,” he says, trying not to ruin the little bit of trust he’s managed to earn, “I won’t touch you, I won’t touch you.”

He glances over his shoulder. At some point, someone is going to come looking for both of them. And that is going to go about as well as—well, it isn’t. It won’t.

“Why didn’t you go somewhere warm first,” he asks gently, “what happened?”

Janus doesn’t respond but his grip on the blanket tightens. He frowns.

“Did…something happen to the blanket?” Janus shakes his head. “Then why…”

Oh. Oh, fuck.

He can just imagine what Janus would expect the others to do if they found out Janus has a comfort object and that it’s a blanket.

Not that they ever would! Patton’s bed is full of stuffed animals, Logan can’t sleep without a galaxy pillowcase on his bed, Remus clings to his Morningstar like another limb, Virgil’s relationship with sleep is complicated at best, and Roman has a blanket too.

“But you didn’t know that,” he whispers to himself as he watches Janus curl up miserably, “did you?”

Janus doesn’t respond. Remus bites back a curse.

“You’re mad.”

He blinks, startled, and looks down. “Huh?”

“You’re mad,” Janus mumbles again, clutching the blanket tightly.

“…yeah, I am,” he says quietly, suppressing noises of concern when he curls tighter, “but not like that, and not right now.”

Janus looks up at him warily. “…no?”

“No. Come on, now,” he continues, frowning when he winces, “come with me to get you warm, please, Snakey.”

Janus just curls up tighter.

“If I brought Logan here, just Logan,” Remus tries, “will you let him look at you? I don’t have to be here, I can go, but—please, Jan-Jan, you’re hurt. Like, real bad, I can tell.”

The time it takes for Janus to shakily nod is quite possibly the longest twenty seconds of Remus’s life.

“Okay,” Remus breathes out, scrambling to his feet, “okay, I’ll get Lolo.”

He dashes out into the hall, down the stairs, almost smack into Logan.

“Remus,” he scolds, “watch where you’re going. What—“

“I found Janny,” he whispers, cutting Logan off, “he’s hurt. You need to come with me.”

Logan draws himself up immediately, snapping the first aid kit into his hands. “Where?”

“This way.”

The look on Remus’s face is enough to tell Roman to keep the others here, which he does by promptly picking up one of the blankets they’ve scavenged from around and wrapping them all in it, pulling them into his lap. Remus nods in thanks and leads Logan up the stairs. He nods to the bathroom.

“He’s in there,” he says softly, “be gentle.”

“I will.”

Logan takes a deep breath and opens the door.

His breathing catches when he spots the little heap of Janus nestled in the corner of the shower, exhale somewhere between a sigh and a noise of concern as Janus peers over his blanket.

“Hello,” he says softly, crouching down outside the shower, “I’m here to help. Can I come over to you?”

Janus doesn’t take his eyes off of him but he nods.

“Thank you. I’m going to go slow so I don’t make too much noise, is that alright? Alright, I’m going to move now.”

When he’s crouched in front of Janus, he can see why Remus was so anxious to get him here. Janus isn’t hypothermic just yet, but he’s hovering on the edge. The smell of blood is strong enough to be worrying, not enough to make him panic.

“I know it’s cold,” he says, “and I know you can’t move very much, but I need to make sure you won’t bleed out or deteriorate at a faster rate. I need you to move a little for me, just so I can see. Does that sound okay?”

A low whine and he shushes him tenderly.

“If you can’t move, that’s alright, I can help. Is that it?” Janus nods. “Alright. Can I touch you, please?”

Janus looks up at him, gaze piercing, as he curls around his blanket. Logan holds his hands up, empty, and waits. When Janus nods again, he reaches forward and gently, gently lays his hands on Janus’s shoulders.

“Shh,” he murmurs as Janus shakes from the heat, “shh, my dear, you’re doing great. I know, it’s a lot, but we have to get you warm, alright?”

Of course, the warmth just increases Janus’s ability to shiver. Logan hushes him soothingly and slowly, slowly moves to pull Janus’s arms away from his body.

“Lean on me if you need to, I’m warmer than you are, that’s alright, I won’t mind.” Logan peers at Janus’s stomach, seeing the blood drying where the scales meet flesh. “Alright, it doesn’t look like you’ve hurt yourself too badly, it’s just the temperature differential causing a little bit of wear and tear.”

Janus is shivering properly now, two of his hands still clinging to his blanket.

“You can’t stay here,” Logan says firmly, “we need to get you warm. If I help you, do you think you can make it to your bed or do you need me to carry you?”

Janus’s lower lip trembles. His brow furrows, mouth drawn into a hard line. He averts his gaze.

“You’re not being needy,” he continues, softening his voice, “I’m here because I want to be here. I want to help you, I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t. Let me help you, my dear.”

The shock on Janus’s features is enough to make Logan want to summon Roman, who would smother the poor dear in enough affection to drown them all. Just to make Janus believe someone would. But he swallows that need and waits for Janus to figure out that he isn’t lying.

When Janus begins to shyly nudge closer to Logan he smiles, wrapping Janus carefully into his arms and standing, muttering something to Remus about making sure Janus’s room is ready.

Sure enough, when they’ve made their way through the Mindscape, Janus’s bed has a sterile sheet laid across it, warm pads at the ready, and plenty of surgical towels nearby if they’re needed. Janus’s breath is almost torn out of him as Logan crosses the threshold into the warmer room.

“You’re going to be fine,” he murmurs, laying Janus down on his bed. “But I do need to come and clean you off a bit while we warm you up, alright?”

Moving Janus’s arms out of the way is a process, one he sends Remus out of the room for, filled with soft coaxing murmurs as he gently manipulates the stiff limbs.

“You’re doing well, dear, we’re almost there. I know it’s cold, it will hurt less after a moment.”

Janus opens his mouth and tries to say something, only for air to hit his bare torso and it turns into a whine.

“Shh, hush now, dear,” Logan says softly as he begins to clean off the dried blood, “it’s alright. Once you warm up it will feel better. I’m just going to put something on the damages and then we’ll be done.”

“L-Logan—“

“What is it?”

Janus’s eyes are glassy, he realizes, as he looks up to his face. He lets out a concerned noise, reaching up to cup Janus’s face. Janus all but nuzzles into his palm as he does, a shiver racking his body.

“You poor dear,” Logan murmurs, mostly to himself, “you poor, poor dear…”

It ends up taking a little longer than he expected, what with only one hand, but if it keeps Janus grounded, Logan would happily take the rest of the day. It doesn’t come to that, thankfully, as he clears away the last of the medical supplies and gives Janus’s face a little shake.

“Janus? Janus, can you hear me?”

Logan’s face swims into view as Janus blinks away tears that he definitely knows where they came from. Logan’s hand is so warm, it’s so warm, as it cups his face, the soft stroking of his thumb systematically undoing every stitch of Janus’s defenses.

“Can you hear me, my dear?”

Janus nods on instinct, a wounded noise tearing from his throat as Logan’s hand leaves him.

“Hush, now, I’m not going anywhere. I just need to put this aside…there. I’m back, my dear, I’m right here.”

The warm hand is back on his face as the insecurity twists anew in his chest.

What is he doing?

“Shh, none of that now,” Logan chides, “I’m here because I want to be here, remember?”

“‘M not—“ he swallows— “I’m not supposed to be like this.”

“And I’m supposed to be cool, aloof, and uncaring,” Logan says wryly, brushing a stray tear from Janus’s cheek, “and Remus is supposed to be horrible and demented.”

“I can hear you!”

He gives Janus a look like ‘see what I mean?’ “So don’t worry about the roles we play right now, dear, it’s alright.”

Janus swallows again, a massive lump in his throat.

“Is that why you hid,” Logan asks softly, “because you couldn’t separate us from our roles?”

Fat shameful tears bubble at the corner of his eyes.

“Oh, none of that, it’s alright, my dear, shh, shh, oh, come now, don’t cry, don’t cry, I’m trying to make it better, not worse, hush now…oh, you poor thing…”

Janus can’t hear anything over the roar of blood in his ears and the soft slide of Logan’s hand against his face. His breath is coming in great whooping gasps.

“Janus,” Logan says firmly, “stop.”

Janus freezes.

“Good. Now breathe.”

Janus breathes. Logan’s hand, on his shoulder, now, still dry and warm through his cloak, presses down firmly.

“There,” he says, softer now, “that’s better. Just keep doing that, then we can figure out what to do next.”

Janus squeezes his eyes shut, something cold closing into a fist around his heart as Logan pulls away. He wrenches himself into a seated position, starting slightly at the rush in his head. He keeps his eyes shut until he can blink them open, seeing Logan there, watching him carefully.

“Janus?”

“My apologies,” he says, surprised at how smooth his voice comes out, “I appreciate your assistance, but it is no longer necessary. You may leave now.”

He pushes himself to his feet and tries to make it to the door, only for it to fly open, and Remus bursts in.

“Oh, thank fuck,” he sighs as he takes two steps and wraps his arms tightly around him.

Janus’s eyes go wide. The door closes behind Remus as warm warm warm too warm not warm enough don’t let go please let go it hurts it hurts oh fuck don’t stop—

He needs it to go on forever and he needs it to stop.

“Remus,” Logan says after a moment, “Remus, let him breathe.”

Remus lets him go but keeps his hands on his shoulders. Janus is shaking, staring at Remus like he can’t process what’s happening as fat tears begin to roll down his cheeks again. Remus lets out a noise of concern, reaching up to wipe them away.

“It’s okay, Jan-Jan,” he says quietly, almost too quiet for him to hear, “it’s gonna be okay.”

Janus’s face crumbles and he stumbles, scrabbling for Remus’s shoulders for support. Remus scoops him into his arms as he clings desperately to him, walking swiftly to the bed and laying him down as carefully as he can. He scrabbles frantically for his blanket, coiling around it and sobbing desperately into it.

“Ah,” comes the soft voice, “I see.”

“See? See what—oh!”

“Go and tell the others, I can keep an eye on him for now.”

Janus can’t tell what’s happening until he feels warm arms around him.

Logan, Logan, wraps his arms around his waist and pulls him into a hug. His eyes go wide as a sudden flood of warm warm warm solid Logan safe warm care love protection hits him, but none of it takes away from the fact that Logan is hugging him.

Distantly, he hears Remus chuckle as he starts to make his way down the hallway but then Logan’s hand comes up to press his head into the crook of his shoulder and he keens.

“Shh, dear one,” he murmurs, “it’s alright, I’m here, I’ll take care of you.”

His hands clench and unclench in the blanket, unsure of what to do, where to put them, until Logan holds him a little tighter.

“You can touch me, Janus, you can hug me, I don’t mind. Come, now…”

Shakily, he returns the embrace and has to hold back a whimper at the rush of warmth. He feels more than hears the rumble of Logan’s chuckle.

“There you go, dear one, that’s it. Hang onto me, now, that’s right.”

“B-but—I thought—you—“

“You can always come to me for this, Janus,” Logan reassures softly, “I will always take care of you.”

Janus lets out another shuddering breath against Logan’s neck and it’s too much.

“I doubt you’re going to get used to touch if you continue to deprive yourself of it,” he coaxes, pulling Janus closer. “Breathe, dear one, it’s alright, I’m not going anywhere.” He rubs his back. “Just let me take care of you.”

“Wh-where did—Remus—“

“The others are worried, dear, we couldn’t find you. No, no—none of that,” he says as Janus tries to mumble out another apology— “you were afraid and protecting yourself, we can’t be mad at you for that. Remus is letting them know we found you.”

“C-Can—“

“Do you want them to come here? Come help look after you?” When Janus nods shyly and buries his face in the crook of Logan’s neck, he holds him closer. “Alright. Can I call them now?”

Of course, when Logan does call for them, he has about two seconds before Remus is tackling the both of them onto the bed.

“Remus.”

“You got to hog him to yourself, let me have a turn.”

“Be careful.”

“He’s durable.” But Remus softens and scratches a hand through Janus’s hair. “Hey, Snakey.”

“Hi.”

“Pat, move.”

“Okay, okay, I’m going.” Janus lets out a soft noise when Patton and Virgil curl up near the foot of the bed, tucking blankets and pillows into place as Janus moves. “Hey, sweetheart, you okay now?”

“Mhm.”

“We’re just gonna keep watch down here, J, we gotcha.”

The sheet beneath him changes, something softer, warmer. Then the pillows get a little easier to touch, the blankets no longer scraping against his scales. He catches a glimpse of soft red sparks as another pillow changes and looks up to see Roman’s brow furrowed in concentration as he works.

He catches Janus’s gaze and softens, reaching out to carefully set Janus’s hat aside and ruffle his hair.

“Hello, little snake. You just shush and get warm, hmm?”

“Ro—Roman?”

“It’s me, just me. I’m just making things a little easier, you close your eyes.” When Janus keeps staring at him, he raises an eyebrow and gently drags a finger down the bridge of Janus’s nose to make his eyes flutter shut. “There, that’s better. Let us keep an eye on you, now.”

Well, between Logan’s arm around his waist, Remus’s hand in his hair, Patton and Virgil camped at the foot of the bed, and Roman patiently checking the wound on his stomach, Janus isn’t going to be going anywhere any time soon.

Keeping track of Janus at the best of times may be an ordeal, but if he thinks it’s not one they would gladly go through, he’s lying to himself.

General Taglist: @frxgprince @potereregina @reddstardust @gattonero17 @iamhereforthegayshit @thefingergunsgirl @awkwardandanxiousfander @creative-lampd-liberties @djpurple3 @winterswrandomness @sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes @iminyourfandom @bullet-tothefeels @full-of-roman-angst-trash @ask-elsalvador @ramdomthingsfrommymind @demoniccheese83 @pattonsandershugs @el-does-photography @princeanxious @firefinch-ember @fandomssaremysoul @im-an-anxious-wreck @crazy-multifandomfangirl @punk-academian-witch @enby-ralsei @unicornssunflowersandstuff @wildhorsewolf @thetruthaboutthesun @stubbornness-and-spite @princedarkandstormv @your-local-fookin-deadmeme @angels-and-dreams @averykedavra @a-ghostlight-for-roman @treasurechestininterweb @cricketanne @aularei @queerly-fluid-fan @compactdiscdraws @cecil-but-gayer @i-am-overly-complicated @annytheseal @alias290 @tranquil-space-ninja @arxticandy @mychemically-imbalanced-romance @whyiask @crows-ace @emilythezeldafan @frida0043 @ieatspinalcords @snowyfires @cyanide-violence @oonagh2 @xxpanic-at-the-everywherexx @rabbitsartcorner @percy-07734 @triflingassailantofmyemotions @virgil-sanders-the-gay-emo @cerulean-watermelon @puffed-up-bees @meltheromanstan

if you want to be added/taken off the taglist, let me know!

#dragonbabbles #sanders sides #janus sanders #deceit sanders #sympathetic deceit #remus sanders #sympathetic remus #logan sanders #virgil sanders #roman sanders #patton sanders #fic

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sylverstorms · 3 years ago

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Donna x Elena ----From Winter to Spring

This is a commission written for the lovely @saltwatereulogies and I cannot thank you enough for all your support! I hope you enjoy the story :)

She doesn’t know how she escaped that nightmarish inferno. How she still draws breath. Why her body keeps running despite its condition and despite the fact that she has lost everything.

The village is gone. Everyone she knew is either dead or a monster. She watched her own father growl like a beast and cleave a woman in half, then soon after wail out her name and succumb to the flames swallowing up the building. There is nothing left. There is nothing left for her.

Why? Elena wonders. A trail of blood marks her path through the snow, towards the unknown. Why still fight?

It will be easier to surrender to the agonizing burns, to the open gashes and wood splinters stuck in her skin. It will be far, far simpler to stop pressuring her rattling lungs to provide oxygen and fall into the snow, instead. It looks… peaceful. Soft. Pure.

It will welcome her to a quiet death, she thinks, so she may join her friends and her father.

Her father. The man who had never reached his hand out to help her when she fell –either on the fields or when she tripped over hardships— yet had always been there in his own stubborn, strict way, telling her to pick herself up.

“I didn’t raise no quitter.”

Ah, is that why.

Perhaps part of her feels it owes it to him to try. She did miraculously survive the fiery wreckage she’d initially thought would be her grave. But… the odds just aren’t with her.

Elena is only human. She’s lost too much blood, been through too much punishment. Her vision is growing blurrier by the second, her legs more sluggish. When she steps on grass instead of snow, she believes her mind is now playing tricks on her, too.

Something smells sweet, like wildflowers.

That is the last thing Elena is aware of, before she drops to her knees and blacks out.

When she blinks her eyes open, she is… confused.

She never thought heaven nor hell would have a wooden ceiling. She wouldn’t have guessed pain follows one into the afterlife, either, yet there she is, prone and throbbing with every weak breath on a bed too comfortable to be her own.

Unless…

Unless she’s not dead. Unless, against all odds, she survived a second time only to suffer some more. Elena wants to cry. What cruel game is the universe playing with her? The luck she never had in life is suddenly gracing her in extreme bursts now that she doesn’twant it.

“She’s awakeeee!” an overly excited voice exclaims somewhere around the room. Elena is too dizzy to tell.

“Shh.” A second presence makes itself known, calming the first.

“Who…” Who are you, Elena tries to say, but the words never make it past her dry throat.

Heels tap against the floor, until a black-clad figure comes to peer down at her. Elena expected to see the face of her savior, yet all she sees is a ghost, its visage hidden behind a mourning veil. The image is jarring; it sends her heartbeat skyrocketing, which doesn’t help her condition.

Oh, Lord, Oh, Lord what… Elena wants to tell herself she’s dreaming. It isn’t real, none of this is real—

Until a doll jumps into the edge of her bed and says something she doesn’t hear over the sound of her hoarse scream.

The ghost flinches backwards as the world turns dark once more.

The second time she opens her eyes, hours or days later, the pain has subsided somewhat.

Elena can feel her body, at least. All the wounded parts are carefully wrapped in gauzes and all her burns are covered by a soothing salve. Her lungs no longer hiss when she inhales, so long as she does so slowly, evenly.

That, of course, is not so easy to do when she turns to her left and sees the ghost sitting there, an open book in her lap. The veil is still on, obscuring her features, but Elena takes note of her fingers as they cradle the spine of the tome, long and pale, manicured black.

Appearances aside, there is a certain calm about her that doesn’t feel threatening.

“I… I’m not hallucinating, am I?” she whispers, not trusting her voice to go any higher.

The mystery woman tenses as though her voice has startled her. “…No.” she eventually replies. Her voice is quiet, like the rest of her.

“Did… you save me…?” A single nod is all she gets in return. Her company doesn’t seem very comfortable speaking, but Elena has questions that she needs answered. “Where am I?”

“The Beneviento estate.”

Elena would gasp if she could. I made it that far? And this woman… is she really Donna Beneviento? Her father told her all she needed to know about the four Lords residing at the outskirts of the village. He had also told her to avoid them at all costs.

“Um. I’m Elena—” A cough cuts her off. The sudden motion causes every injury across her body to burn.

“…I know.”

She is too much pain, in that moment, to ask how Donna knows.

In the following days, Elena comes to accept a few things that would have normally made her question her sanity;

The doll is alive. Her name is Angie and she is Donna’s friend. Donna is the adopted daughter of Mother Miranda, who, upon the former’s request, has given her permission for Elena to remain in the mansion. When she asked what would have happened had she denied, the doll only sing-songed that she doesn’t really want to know.

It still plagues her mind, probably because she has far too much time to think and this is the only thing she can focus on, lest she starts crying over and over again.

When Donna comes to change her bandages, it is a relief.

The woman sits at the edge of her bed, at the absolute maximum distance. Elena slowly brings her body to a semi-reclining position to assist. Angie hops on the bed and pulls the covers to the side… and that is when they arrive to a standstill. Donna doesn’t move, Elena doesn’t know what to do.

“Um. May I?” the veiled woman motions with her –admittedly very elegant— hands. It’s… endearing, how she approaches the subject of touching her.

Elena nods and tries to be a good patient for her. Tries being the key word. When she’s not fighting for her life, she is not nearly as brave in the face of pain. Her teeth are gritted as Donna’s cool hands unwrap the gauzes at her right arm, her eyes closed, breath held.

“…Am I hurting you?” Donna asks, quiet as ever.

“No.” Elena forces herself to exhale. “No, you’re… very gentle.”

Donna nods and continues with the same measured movements. Elena doesn’t want to look at her wounds, afraid of what she’ll find there, so she turns to the veiled visage of her companion. She wishes she could see her face. Wonders what she may look like, what flaw she’s trying to hide.

Until a bandage catches on a particularly bad burn and Elena cries out.

Her whole body jumps—

Donna’s hands fly to her shoulders, keeping her steady with surprising strength, yet she steps away the very next second as though she’s been scorched.

Elena bites her lower lip hard enough to draw blood. There you go, making her uncomfortable…

Angie takes over for a while, also quite precise. Elena peeks down to realize she isn’t in as terrible a condition as she may have imagined. Scars will be left, no doubt, but she will probably heal well enough.

Then the last difficult spot comes up. She knows it when Angie warns: “You need to stay still here.”

“No, no wait!” Elena pleads. “I—I can’t.” I can’t, I can’t deal with this again, not again—

But Donna sits back next to her and her mere presence calms her down. “You are very strong, Elena. This is the last one.” she says.

“Hold me down.” Elena requests.

Donna doesn’t seem to like the idea. Still, she slowly brings her hand back over the uninjured part of Elena’s shoulder. “It’ll be alright.” she whispers.

“On three.” Angie says. “One… Two…”

She pulls the bandage on two and Elena would jump high enough to burst through the ceiling if it wasn’t for Donna. When the agony subsidies she realizes she’s sobbing helplessly, clutching at the dollmaker’s sleeves for dear life.

“Shh, I’m sorry, it’s over now. It’s over.” Donna’s slender fingers comb through her unruly hair.

The brunette closes her eyes and lets her head drop back down into her pillow, but she doesn’t let go of the dollmaker right away. She smells like the flowers outside her house,she thinks.

She feels like a safe space, steady, in a world that’s broken and tilted for Elena.

Gradually, Donna talks to her more. Gradually, Elena tests her body’s limits until she is strong enough to walk around the house on her own.

Angie is with her, most of the time, but she knows it’s less a security measure and more one for her safety. Her mental connection to Donna is something Elena cannot grasp nor understand, but she tries to.

The first time she manages to get to the living room, Elena stops and stares at the painting of Donna adorning the wall opposite her.

“…is that her?” she asks Angie.

“Of course!” the doll replies excitedly. “I am so proud of that one, the artist did a great job! Mistress Donna looks splendid, but it is me who steals the show!”

Elena can’t look away from the canvas. Why is she so familiar…? “Is that what she looks like?”

“Well, excluding a scar she wishes to hide. Kind of like my face. We match.” Angie answers, giving her version of a grin.

For the rest of the day, Elena sneaks glances at Donna, then the painting. It isn’t proper, she knows, but she’s curious. And… surely, no scar is enough to justify hiding that cute face from the world?

Weeks pass. Elena has healed well and she owes it all to Donna.

The two of them have grown closer in the time the former’s injuries have forced them together, close enough to have tea in the mornings and brief chats over common interests throughout the day.

When the weather grows a tad warmer, Elena asks the dollmaker to take a stroll with her outside. She sees the decorated graves, of course, but she knows better than to ask. She doesn’t want their time to be poisoned by grief. The scars of losing loved ones run deep, she knows this too well and they never really heal.

The two of them are basking in comfortable silence for a while, until a thought that feels impossible not to be voiced strikes Elena.

“Donna.” she speaks.

“Hm?”

“When I first woke up and I told you my name… you said ‘I know’.”

“…yes.”

“I’m sure we’ve never met before…?” Elena stops and turns to face her companion. Donna mirrors her.

“How certain are you?” she asks. Upon Elena’s obvious confusion, she elaborates; “As a child, I used to visit the village with my father. In one of those visits, some of the kids made fun of my scar. A boy, especially, was saying some very mean things.”

Elena starts to recall one such incident in the blurry images of her childhood.

“You stopped him.” Donna says. Pauses. “…with a punch to the face.”

Elena raises a hand to her mouth, but a quick laugh escapes her anyway. “I did?” A nod. “No way.”

“You did.”

“It couldn’t have been a strong one, though.” Elena giggles.

“I don’t know. Rumor has it he still hasn’t gotten up, to this day…” The little exhale of a chuckle that escapes Donna makes something in Elena bloom and flutter.

She wants nothing more in that moment than to lift the damned veil and see the face of the gentlest, kindest woman she’s ever met.

The winter eventually gives way to spring. The earth heals from the wounds of the cold like Elena has, under Donna’s care.

She no longer has doubts about what she feels, what she wants. It is only a matter of overcoming her fears and nervousness. Only a matter of finding the right timing and the appropriate setting.

Elena has rehearsed the words she needs to say many times in her dreams and thoughts, yet she finds herself tongue-tied and completely lost on what to do in reality. She has asked Donna to walk with her, taken her to where the waterfall calms into a river… and now struggles to summon her voice.

“What is it, Elena?” Donna, ever the sweetheart, asks. “You know you can tell me anything… right?”

“What if…” she hesitantly begins. “What if I can’t tell you? …can I show you, instead?”

“Of course.”

Elena takes a deep breath and chastises herself to woman up. One little step brings her into Donna’s personal space. Her hand raises to the edge of the veil, blue eyes searching for a sign she should stop. The dollmaker is tense, but she hasn’t made a move to back away, nor lower Elena’s hand.

She trusts her.

And that’s all Elena needs to finally, finally remove the barrier separating them for months. The cute girl she defended as a child is a beautiful woman now, looking back at her with gentle, dark eyes. The jagged scar running down the right side of her face does nothing to retract from that beauty.

“You don’t need that.” she breathes. “You never did.”

Donna glances to the side, a hint of color spreading over her pale cheeks. Elena chases her chin with her fingers, then slowly inches closer, making sure the dollmaker has ample time to decide if she wants this, too.

When their lips meet, color blooms behind her shut eyelids, within her chest. Donna’s mouth is as soft and sweet as her personality, Elena discovers. It is a short, chaste kiss but it is also a promise for many more to come.

It is the gratitude Elena will eternally hold for Donna, who found her at the ending of her life and nursed her back to this,

A new beginning.

#Donna x Elena #donna beneviento #resident evil village #resident evil 8 #fanfiction #creative writing #mother miranda #commission #because two cuties make a recipe for success #donna my beloved

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petitfanboy · 3 years ago

Text

Comprehensive and in-depth analysis of Asuka and Shinji relationship in 3.0+1.0, implications for the ending and why many youtube Eva analysis videos titles I believe are wrong. (Spoilers ahead)

Preface

It seems it was yesterday when I wrote an extended essay regarding the essential and critical relationship of Asuka and Shinji in Evangelion for the last time. However, seven years have passed.

My idea here is to write, in general lines, about the relationship of Asuka and Shinji in the last movie and the ending and its implications in a more detailed way. I will use different analyses I have read so far besides mine, and you will find the links to all of them in the text.

I have tried to maintain an analysis that followed the narrative plot and what I believe is closer to what the director wants to express. However, as Anno himself has said multiple times, his work may inspire different feelings in different people, so I understand where the differences might come from and, in no way, this is intended as a confrontation to other opinions and theories.

Please, let me start with an introduction.

Introduction

While a lot has changed for me in these years, my view of A/S relationship in the whole Eva universe, including their dynamics, meaning, and canonical aspects have not changed.

Long story short, A/S represent core aspects of the message Evangelion wants to transmit: The Hedgehog's dilemma, the fear of connecting and rejection while having a strong desire to be loved and understood, and finally, the pursuit of happiness. Asuka and Shinji are opposites on their outside and equals on their inside. A perfect match for exploring those issues.

RoE makes clear their similarities

Asuka and Shinji similarities

Evangelion arrives at a fulfilling conclusion at the end, showing us how it is possible to overcome the abovementioned problems. To depict that, it always involves resolving the different issues Asuka and Shinji have between them, becoming closer, opening to one another and, probably and eventually, staying together.

Evangelion portrays that resolution using scenes showing the exact moment of the change in A/S dynamics, the moment when both pursued real connection starts. What happens after that change is unknown, but the intention is clear: once they begin to make an effort, they have the chance to be happy together.

Before the release of 3.0+1.0, different spoilers and youtube video’s titles ruined my life, as I suppose that happened to some of you. It had such a significant impact on me that it is hard to define with words. Not because I was an angry asushin fanboy as some might classify me, but because, had it been confirmed, it would have meant that the message that Evangelion has been constructing since its first airing was shattered to pieces. I could not accept it.

At that specific moment, the Eva Extra Ex manga came and saved me.

Eva Extra Ex Manga Translated

I cannot highlight enough how important this manga was and still, it is. For me, it represented a call from Anno himself, saying: Do not worry, Evangelion is going to keep being Evangelion. I still recall the endless discussions on the internet when 3.0 came out about the effect of the time-skip, in what lousy state the relationship between Shinji and Asuka was (or if it was even inexistent!) and how Evangelion was going to transmit another message in the end. For me, there were always precise moments in 3.0 that pointed against those conclusions. But with Eva Extra, everything changed. It tied aspects of 2.0 and 3.0 very nicely and allowed us to discover more regarding Asuka's feelings and motivations.

With the first interaction in the manga between Asuka and Mari, we see that Asuka still has (deep) feelings for Shinji. As the story progresses, we see how Asuka reacts to Mari's teasing and how unconvinced Mari is of all the bravado that she displays. A/S relationship, alongside their communication and hedgehog's dilemma related problems, still existed in the present timeline of the events of 3.0 and 3.0+1.0.

God's in his heaven all right with the world.

Chapter 1: The houses of healing

Instead of speaking of every Shinji/Asuka interaction scene, I will try to make this analysis lighter by talking about how it progresses across the film and focusing only on key scenes.

The film's first part explains how Shinji achieves healing after understanding how people around him are friendly, which is a big difference from EoE. In EoE, it was impossible. Shinji was left hurt and without any option to heal. He ultimately achieved healing through his experiences in instrumentality, leading to the ending and the hope/love message we all know in One More Final: I need you.

This process, this healing, happens in a precise location. That is the reason for the chapter's title. I took the liberty of naming this first chapter as the eighth chapter of Tolkien's book The Return of the King. But, what place is it?

Initially, Shinji is taken to Toji's house. While that place suits Rei, who will understand the basic meaning of life and being human, Shinji makes no progress there. Interestingly, Kensuke sees how Shinji is not making any progress and suggests he should go with him to his house. Why? It is driven by his new parental role, reminiscent of Kaji. He thinks why Shinji is in such a state and understand his needs at that moment. Besides, with or without knowing it, he reunites Shinji and Asuka under the same roof and the same parental figure.

I cannot say that he willingly wanted to reunite Shinji with Asuka, although I am sure he thought it was a direct consequence of carrying Shinji with him, so he was happy with that idea. As we know from 2.0 and the original series, their friends are the ones who notice Asuka and Shinji bond, so it would not be strange that Kensuke wanted to reunite both of them.

With or without Kensuke's will, bringing Shinji to Kensuke's house mirrors Misato's apartment, but with a male figure as the leader (i.e. A Kaji instead of Misato). It is a comeback to better times. Kensuke takes the parental figure for both Shinji and Asuka, as Misato did when Asuka moved in 2.0 for both children. This time, Asuka is the one who is already living there (previously it was Shinji), and Shinji is the one who arrives later. In 3.0+1.0 Misato cannot fulfil her maternal role anymore, as explained later in the film (and redeemed at the end).

Let me linger on this parallel. In 2.0, when Asuka arrives at Misato's house and introduces Asuka to Shinji, we have the romantic comedy scene of the shower a few minutes later. The scene makes us understand that they feel some attraction to each other, albeit in a very early stage (and introduces PenPen to Asuka). Time forward, this first interaction is repeated in Kensuke's house. When Shinji arrives, he finds Asuka naked after having a shower. This time, no reaction is seen from either part explicitly. Neither Shinji nor Asuka blushed or overreacted, but Asuka clearly states her disappointment, which shows us her desire that Shinji reacted, that Shinji expressed attraction towards her. A significant line that adds up to all the previous evidence about Asuka's persistent feelings for Shinji. What about Shinji? There is a minor detail. When he sees Asuka naked, he stares at her with a glare that is just a mix of emotions. Although it is difficult to tell what he is thinking, Asuka is directly opposite him, and he can see both the DSS choker and her body. However, he only notices the choker when she wraps herself with a towel. Draw your conclusions.

From that point onwards, we get a few scenes representing the problem Asuka and Shinji have communicating and how alike they are. When Shinji throws up for the first time, Asuka explains to Kensuke why Shinji behaves like that and shuts himself off. However, she is doing the same, playing with her console. Asuka's video game is Shinji's SDAT. Asuka hates the behaviour of Shinji because she sees her flaws in him.

Despite all the façade, she tries to communicate and help Shinji repeatedly in the coming scenes, checking on him on several occasions. Whenever she does that, the movie clearly shows us that she has abandoned her Shinji-like behaviour, showing us the console turned off.

Asuka and her videogame

The climax of their conflict is the force-feeding scene. But before analysing that scene, let me tell you a few more details.

I believe that the mirroring of Misato's apartment is portrayed through other details. For example, the name KenKen might have been chosen in honour of the missing companion from Misato's apartment: PenPen.

Furthermore, while some people might find odd the tendency of Asuka to be naked, this is driven by her disgust with her own body, which is shown in the Eva Extra manga. Finally, to enforce the idea that the relationship between Kensuke and Asuka is different from the one that she and Shinji have, it is essential to notice how Kensuke calls them. He calls them by their surnames, Shikiname and Ikari, placing distance between them.

Let's return to the force-feeding scene. In that scene, Asuka wants to help him, which is why she feeds him, and at the same time, she explains her frustration regarding the lack of reaction and understanding on his part. The conflict between them is portrayed similarly to the Eva 03 incident in 2.0

Visual comparison 1

Visual comparison 2

She is trying to understand him, and she tells him rather precisely why she thinks he is in such a state. She only wants him to reciprocate that understanding, and she wants him to think and explain why she punched him after seeing each other after 14 years. I must highlight the punch's importance. It summarises their communication problems, their conflict. Eva clarifies it in 3.0 using the same parallelisms as other communication problems, like Gendo and Shinji.

However, we know how she feels. The Eva extra manga gives us that insight. She has feelings for Shinji but hates his inaction due to his internal struggles. The hedgehog's spikes have been replaced by a punch. If they can talk about the punch, they will start communicating.

From an external view, Shinji reacts to being force-fed in a way that probably is not what Asuka wanted. Shinji leaves the house, followed secretly by Asuka, in another display of how Asuka feels internally. It is another parallelism with Misato's apartment, again with a reversal of roles between Shinji and Asuka.

Parallelism

However, we will learn in future events that Shinji started to think about what Asuka told him at that moment, so he listened to her.From this point onwards, Shinji will deal with his thoughts and come to an understanding with himself. It is not achieved alone, but with the help of Rei and, although not directly, Asuka. She is the one who directs Rei to the place where Shinji is and continues checking on him to see that everything is going fine. She is there.

Asuka cares

When Shinji grows up and maturates, we have the first bidirectional communication attempt between Asuka and Shinji. While she asks Shinji if he feels better, he responds with only sounds. Yet, this is the first time they have tried to talk about their respective problems and emotions calmly. We will see this pattern repeat itself several times in the movie: Shinji grows a bit, and then Asuka opens herself another bit. It is very interesting to see Asuka's glare. Asuka is drawn with that glare whenever she is looking at Shinji in a positive/concerning him way. We will return to that later. Besides, she speaks to him without looking at her console.

All this healing process ends in a sentence that is easily overlooked. The night Kensuke is discussing with Asuka the plans to return to the Wunder, Shinji comes home and says, "I am home". It is the reflection of Shinji's complete healing. Thanks to his growth, he has found a new place where he belongs once more. It let us understand why he will consider that this place is important for Asuka too. Both have suffered the same parental love deprivation, lacking a place where they truly belong. Finding a place that they can call home is part of their way to happiness and usually happens before both connect.

The film also let us see how Shinji heals, comparing it with the healing of one of the village's dogs

Now, Shinji is ready to go with Asuka to the Wunder and start a transformative journey for himself and those around him. But first, let me post a few more details, some of which I had not noticed until doing some research on the internet:

Visual comparisons that highlight the similar role of Kensuke as Kaji (Parental role)

2. Asuka's scarf to hide her DSS choker.

3. The possible futon share between Asuka and Shinji, showing how she cares about him.

Chapter 2: A trip in the Wunder

The most relevant scene for their relationship in the Wunder is Asuka's confession. However, there are a couple of interesting interactions before that. The first one is the display of Asuka's jealousy of Sakura when she sees her interaction with Shinji, saying, "Are you his wife?"

The second one happens when Asuka meets Mari. While loaded with fanservice, this interaction is not trivial. Mari's teasing is an essential element in the Rebuild series, even more knowing how important the character of Mari will become at the end. She seems to be aware of Asuka's real feelings, and we know from the Eva extra manga that she tries to push Shinji and Asuka together, which I will come back to later. Asuka replies to Mari's teasing that Shinji "does not need a lover, he needs a mother". This sentence is a double edge sword. First, it shows Asuka's interest in Shinji as a romantic partner, given her deception, and actually, Asuka is saying this sentence while she is playing the videogame, so probably she is hiding her feelings, shutting herself oof the world as Shinji used to do. Second, it shows the problems they face: Communication and maturity. Maturity, because Asuka feels that Shinji has not changed as she has had, and communication, because as we will soon know, Asuka also wants that figure in her life. However, it is not true that Shinji has not grown up. It is just that they have not tried to communicate again, and thus, she does not know about Shinji's recent developments

Everything will change when Asuka faces the reality of possible death. Before the "final battle", she decides to reach out for Shinji. After Mari introduces herself to Shinji in an awkward way that will be important in the ending, Asuka repeats her question. In reality, she asks if he has thought about her, how she feels and everything she has gone through. To Asuka's surprise, Shinji answers the question, blaming his inaction. Taking this as a partial sign of maturity and growth, Asuka starts opening herself, although not wholly, a sign that Shinji's answer might not have been entirely correct. Besides, her body language is similar to the previous lift scenes in Evangelion, where we know she hid her real emotions.

She will equal what to tell Shinji to Shinji's growth. Therefore, she explains to him how she liked him 14 years ago, but not how she feels now. Furthermore, she leaves before Shinji can reply to her statement, leaving Shinji staring back at her through the glass. So, it is Mari again who makes us understand that this has been a sign of communication that goes in the right direction. She congratulates Shinji and stimulates him to continue like this. Again, Mari is trying to solve Asuka and Shinji's problems. Mari says goodbye in Chinese to Shinji (perhaps, a way to tell us that the spell of goodbye works, as they meet again later) and goes to do the same with Asuka, asking her if she feels better. Mari is trying to make Asuka see that opening herself to Shinji will bring happiness to her too.

Nevertheless, we must not forget that the short confession happened because Asuka thought this might have been the end. In a sense, it almost was.

Chapter 3: I need you

This chapter starts after Shinji and Gendo have resolved their issues. As I explained before, the need of resolving their parental matters will be critical to both Shinji and Asuka. The same happened in EoE. Asuka gets to know her mother in her battle against the mass-produced Eva, and Shinji learns about his father's plans and mother during instrumentality. After those experiences and their other interactions through instrumentality, they arrive at the I need you scene where they open to each other.

Gendo gets off the train, and the control of instrumentality is handed over to Kaworu. While Gendo was willing to sacrifice everything for his sake, the growth of Shinji reaches its maximum at this point. Shinji decides to take the reversal role of his father. Even if he is heartbroken or it is a hard and not a pleasant experience, he wants to help Asuka and those who were nice to him. This is the transformative journey that Shinji accomplishes in RoE that marks a completely different path from NGE+EoE.

I worded the sentence highlighting Asuka because those are the literal words of Shinji, naming Asuka as an individual and using the Japanese word "minna" for the rest, which could be the rest of his friends or even the rest of humanity. Shinji has learnt that he must give without seeking anything in return. He must stop thinking about himself only. He is going to help their friends without any positive repercussions on himself. As he later will explain, he plans to rewrite the world with the new spear given by Misato to get rid of the Evas and what they represent, stopping the cycle of suffering that comes with them, and let their friends live a happy life.

Symbolism of the spear

Interestingly, he does not explain this to Asuka and only mentions it to Rei, with some hesitation, which is what prompts him to tell her that Mari would come for him eventually. That behaviour is because for getting rid of the Eva and rewriting the world, he needs to impale himself with the spear inside Eva 01. While we do not know for sure the effects on Shinji, the way it is portrayed resembles a willing sacrifice, a person opening himself to that terrible outcome for a better benefit for their friends. Besides, we must not forget that the sync rate of Shinji with his Eva was infinite at that time, so probably the expected outcome would be the death of the pilot and he knew about that.

This situation is what gives us an essential context for understanding Shinji's actions. As Asuka earlier, he also thought that he might not return. But let’s see what happens with Asuka and Shinji.

The first to be saved is Asuka. As some sort of guardian for Asuka (and Shinji, and even Asuka/Shinji relationship), Mari reminds Shinji before he leaves her entry plug in the anti-universe that he has to find her. And he does.

There are many iconic and meaningful landscapes in Evangelion. Still, none of them has the symbolism, meaning, emotional associations and beauty as the beach where Shinji and Asuka laid at the EoE has. Although it is not the same beach and there are different details, the scene's meaning is clear. It was the scenario of One More Final: I need you. Thus, the location evokes that meaning, where Shinji and Asuka connected and expressed their emotions and feelings in EoE. To increase and highlight that intention, the first shot we have of the landscape is a full white moon, a remnant from the N3I. The moon has always been a poetic figure for love, and it brightens the sand creating the white beach. It is the perfect scenario to share an intimate moment.

Then, a saved, Eva curse-free Asuka awakes. The first sentence references the fact that the curse of Eva is lifted, and she can sleep. As some people detail, the plugsuit is a combination of different ones. This phenomenon will repeatedly happen in the anti-universe. Long story short, as I do not want to enter the terrain of the time loops and different universes, I believe that the idea behind that symbolism is that Evangelion is a multiverse. The anti-universe might somehow connect them, and we can see them. However, the characters remain the same from the universe where they come from. Only those annotated in the book of life remember those other universes or RoE time-loops (which seem to affect only the RoE universe and seem not to be confirmed in the other universes), and probably, as Shinji is in charge of the flow of events, the bleeding in his memories is what drives those changes.

The fact that Asuka wears a plugsuit that is a combination of previous ones, does not mean that she is Soryu or several Asukas at the same time. She is Shikinami, and it is the first time that she is on that beach. Her background and memories are from the RoE timeline, as she does not express, as Shinji will do later, any perception of that phenomenon. The same goes for their location. While they are on a similar beach, it is not the same where Soryu and Shinji found themselves in EoE. It is probably the bleeding of details between universes that wraps the metanarrative message that gives importance to the scenery (that beach is where they connected and accepted each other both in EoE and in this movie, and the place will always symbolise that)

Even those aware of other timelines (Kaworu and Shinji at that point) can only remember that they met before or have a déjà vu feeling. They do not have a complete insight into what happened. I think that this bleeding of details gives an important message: All the universes of Evangelion exist. Soryu and Shinji's story from NGE and EOE has happened, albeit in another universe, part of a larger multiverse. In a sense, it is saying that NGE+EoE is as canon as RoE, something essential to maintain coherency. The difference is that they happen in different physical planes of space and time.

Let's return to the fact that a grown Asuka is on the beach. The camera plays, repeating the same shots as in EoE, linking both scenes thematically again. Moreover, the visual links expands to other couples in Eva.

Here, Shinji sits next to Asuka, with his arms around his legs and a completely different gaze, making clear Shinji is happy to see her. The events follow this path:

Asuka sees Shinji next to her and calls him "Baka Shinji" in a not mean way. A way that shows us that despite calling him "Baka Shinji" time and time again, that did not mean that she truly hated him.

Shinji verbalises his happiness to see her again and says thanks to her for letting him know her feelings previously.

Shinji reciprocates the same feelings, using the past tense. Why? Well, at least this time is more straightforward than explaining why he choked her. Shinji has several reasons for this: First, it directly answers what Asuka told him earlier. And second, he wants to save and return her to the Eva free world, and thus, knowing that he might not return, hides his current feelings.

Asuka is surprised that her feelings are reciprocated. She blushes and turns to her left, hiding her real feelings at that moment to Shinji. In the next shot, we see a happy, blushed Asuka smiling.

The reaction of Asuka and all the previous evidence from the movie and the manga make it evident that she still has feelings for him. With his body language, Shinji is also transmitting to us that he is hiding his true feelings. Besides, a past tense confession for Shinji makes no sense at all. Shinji has been sleeping those 14 years. For him, those moments where "he liked" Asuka are only a few weeks or months ago from this moment on the beach. We will get the last evidence that Shinji still has feelings for Asuka, thanks to Kaworu. He, who is aware of all the timelines and universes, asks Shinji if he will feel lonely letting Asuka go. Shinji, with the same body language and a sad face, says no. We must link Shinji's behaviour to the fact I explained earlier. Shinji wanted to sacrifice himself for the happiness of Asuka and everybody.

This links with another idea. The scene is fast-paced. Once Shinji confesses his feelings, he says goodbye to Asuka and the Kensuke sentence. While this might be a reminiscence of Asuka's behaviour in the Wunder, allowing him to avoid any reply, that would have made things more difficult. However, his words are carefully chosen. We know from Rei's experiences in the village that "goodbye, is a spell of magic to see each other again. Despite his plans, Shinji's wish is to see her again

The meaning of goodbye

Then we have the Kensuke sentence. I wanted to talk about this in a simple way. Asuka needed the same parental role as Shinji, and through her experiences in instrumentality, she finds that she has that part of herself fulfilled by Kensuke. However, things get complicated if we start to notice some details. The fact that Kensuke calls Asuka "Asuka" instead of Shikinami and that the doll with Kensuke inside of it appears in the Rei scene has raised concerns that the Kensuke who appears in Asuka's instrumentality scenes is in fact Shinji, helping Asuka to find her place in a future world without him. In more detail:

All Asuka's scenes in instrumentality revolve around Shinji, nothing from Kensuke. It seems that Shinji wants to revert that and makes her conscious that she can find a place to belong and the parental role she needs, especially taking into consideration that he was about to die.

Instrumentality scenes comparison

She verbalises that she has no place to belong yet (despite living with Kensuke for some time), so Shinji wants to clarify that point for her.

It answers why Kensuke calls her Asuka and not Shikinami and why the doll appears again in Rei's scenes on the stage. Furthermore, it connects Asuka's memories with the beach scene, as it is after Kensuke says, "Asuka is Asuka" that she wakes up next to Shinji.

The original source of the theory for me was this video

In the end, from Asuka's instrumentality to the end of the beach scene, Shinji wants her to understand that she has a place to belong alongside the parental figure that she needs and that she is also loved by him, although he is going to let her go for her benefit. A true act of selflessness given his feelings. That is heart-warming and an actual act of love on his part.

Then, something happens amid the fast-paced scenes. The camera shows Asuka with an open mouth, sleeping(?) and Mari next to her. Wait. When did Mari come in? Why? I am not sure of the answers to these questions. It shows that Mari is more than we thought and has more knowledge about the anti-universe and what is happening. We do not know if this scene happens just after Shinji’s words or something has happened in the middle, as Asuka's expression seems not to match the last we see from her. Is there a deleted scene in the middle? Mari says her goodbye to Asuka. Mari has been a bridge between Shinji and Asuka and a close friend to her. In some sense, and continuing the parallelisms between Shinji and Asuka, she has been her Kaworu

Interestingly, Mari only appears to say bye to Asuka and not Rei or Kaworu. At the same time, Shinji only says sayonara to Asuka, the only character that does not have a handshake and a shutter closed. While there is no definitive answer to this fact, I believe it is crucial regarding the ending, as it will establish a continuity between the goodbyes and future gatherings, all directed by Mari, and that is why she appears probably (and she might be the one ejecting Asuka’s entry plug)

After Mari's take care, Asuka wakes up in the entry plug and is ejected by Unit 13. It is important to note that Asuka leaves without any kind of voluntary movement. She awakes in different locations and is the Eva 13 who ejects her. We do not know Asuka’s opinion about this at any time, or how she feels about being saved leaving Shinji behind.

Chapter 4: The sacrifice is stopped

After Kaworu and Rei's scenes, which I am not going to talk about, Shinji decides to carry out the Neon Genesis. We get to the moment where he is ready to sacrifice himself, in some sort of redemption of humanity's sins for creating the Evas and all the suffering that accompanied them. But then, Yui appears.

She stops the spear, protecting Shinji, and takes him out of the Eva 01. Yui’s wish is that he can live in that Neon Genesis world where the Evangelions do not exist, where people, and Shinji, can be happy. This moment changes everything. The plot twist will allow Shinji and Evangelion to have a happy and hopeful ending, thanks to Yui's (+/- Mari) plan.

The sacrifice of Shinji's parents for the sake of their child redeems them from the emotional deprivation Shinji has endured all his life. Shinji, mimicking the last instrumentality scene in EoE, returns to the anti-universe, now alone.

Chapter 5: Mari to the rescue

Shinji waits patiently on a blue water beach. Slowly, he starts to fade away in the anti-universe, as there are no others to relate with. This concept was explored both in EoE and at the end of the TV series. Then, Mari comes with her Evangelion to rescue him and take him back to the real world, now the Eva-free world, as promised to Misato. This is very important, as it highlights that Shinji is not going to a parallel universe. He is returning to the same world where his friends are (Asuka for sure, Kaworu will meet him again too, and Rei, honestly, it is not so obvious where she decides to go in her scenes, but probably too)

Mari's last Evangelion is important too. Contrary to Kaworu and Rei, I believe it is how Mari and Shinji returned to the ordinary world (probably with its entry plug, like Asuka). We might never know that. Then, the next scene is the opposite scene from Asuka in the entry plug, but with Shinji. Now we see an adult Shinji in a train station.

There are different questions to answer to understand what is happening in the ending. However, I think that the film's conclusion is the same regardless of the answer to those questions.The questions are:

Is the train scene set in the AU or in the real world?

Are Mari and Shinji the people we see coming out from the station?

Did Asuka arrive at Kensuke’s house or is she present there if that is the real world?

I tried to sum up the different theories in simple pictures.

My personal opinion just after watching the movie was that the first scenario was the most likely. However, after seeing different analyses, I am not 100% convinced and I cannot give my support to other theoriesyet.

The sources for the other theories are these

And the fact that the pilots might be illusions come from here

As you can see, regardless of the answer to the questions from above, they always end up meeting again. While this is not explicitly shown in the movie, I strongly believe it is the reason why Mari appears at the end scene. Mari is the beacon light that will guide him in this new world, and there is a lot of visual comparisons that prove this fact, comparing Mari to Misato, and knowing the role of Mari in Gendo and Yui’s life. Furthermore, a lot of people consider that the fact that Asuka is alone in the platform is a sign that she is there to be reunited with Shinji, as she has no partner and seems to be playing with something like her old videogame. All of this is enough evidence to stop thinking about this ending as “Shinji choosing Mari to live a happier life” or “to let go the past”.

Comparison

The role of Mari in Yui/Gendo life. A hint in her possible role with Asuka/Shinji

Mari and Shinji, Mari and Gendo, the same fate.

I am sure that Mari will reunite Asuka and Shinji. She has been a bridge between them since 3.0, and the Eva Extra manga gives more insight into that respect. Besides, she did the same with Yui and Gendo, and there are a lot of comparisons between Yui/Gendo and Asuka/Shinji in a visual way throughout the series.You will find Asuka glancing at Shinji with the same face and eyes expression as Yui did.

We have talked about this before.

While it would be interesting to know exactly how Shinji arrives there, the narrative conclusion that they will meet again, independently of what has happened to the world, will not change. This resonates with the title of the movie "thrice upon a time", as evidenced here.

There have been multiple Evangelion universes, both with and without Evas (EoE ends with a world without Evas, as the manga does) and in all of them, all of them, Asuka and Shinji meet again. And this is really important, as now they can communicate and have the chance of growing together and be happy.

Conclusion

Asuka and Shinji are two sides of the same coin, with different defence strategies in the context of the hedgehog's dilemma. Despite their mutual attraction, they are incapable of communicating and reaching each other. In EoE, it took almost the end of the world and humanity to understand that it is thanks to not living with the fear of pain and rejection that we can understand and accept others, ultimately overcoming the hedgehog's dilemma. This is expressed by the caress of Asuka to Shinji in EoE. This loving gesture shows us that the characters start understanding each other and have the chance to be happy together. EoE ending is a message of love and hope.

A/S relationship will represent this conflict wherever they are portrayed, in a cycle of desire/attraction, which leads to conflict and a resolution with understanding and love once they learn to accept each other and start communicating. In EoE is quite visual and displays both of them together at the very end. The manga is less explicit and more hinted at, but the scene at the train depicts how they connect in that new world where they will understand each other.

Thrice upon a time is not an exception to this rule. The last scene of EoE and the manga that involves Asuka and Shinji is the moment they connect, communicate, and change the way they treat each other. In 3.0+1.0 their final scene together is the beach scene, where they confess their mutual feelings in what is a never seen before sincerity and openness between them. Then, a world without Eva is created (in EoE this is exemplified by the crucified Eva and in the manga is more similar to the movie) and we know that Mari will guide Shinji to a safe return to that Eva free world and a gathering with Asuka and his friends. Despite not appearing on screen, all the narrative of the movie, and the whole of Evangelion, makes us understand that they will understand each other more and more and will be more honest towards their feelings, giving them the chance of being happy. As a consequence of that, the leitmotif of Evangelion is repeated once more.

The message of 3.0+1.0 is not about letting go of the past because you have grown up or let it go to move forward. The message is that it is thanks to going through those good and bad experiences that life gifts us, accepting the chance of suffering pain, that we can mature and learn. This learning will make us understand ourselves and those who surround us more, making us love ourselves and others, having, ultimately, the chance of being happy, loved and finding a place to belong to.

And it is in the middle of this struggle, that the love story of Asuka and Shinji shines, reminding us that humans can connect and be happy.

If they can overcome their problems, so will us.

Everybody finds love in the end.

One More Conclusion: Where is Anno's wife?

What a ride! I think I have written about almost all of Shinji and Asuka's interactions, perhaps leaving just a few ones at the beginning of the movie, and without the mention of Anno as Shinji or his wife as Mari in all the essay! While extremely popular, the theory that Mari represents his wife has many flaws and I still do not understand where it is based. From the character being designed without the supervision of Hideaki Anno to the direct denial from his wife, including that the theory does not match the narrative plot. While self-insertions and story developments related to personal experiences are not rare in storytelling, we cannot explain everything in Evangelion by metanalysis. While Anno's struggles with depression have shaped NGE+EoE, the development and growth of the characters in their own arcs are what matter when analysing them. Shinji might be inspired by his awful experience at that time, but as we said earlier, Asuke is shaped like Shinji, albeit with different behaviour. Therefore, we should accept that both of them are depictions of Anno and not only the masculine figure.

In the end, it is Shinji who rejects instrumentality, returns to the real world and is caressed by Asuka in EoE. The characters do that, not Anno. The same happens in this last scene. While the location of the train station and city is totally related to the director, what is going to happen to the characters in the context of the plot is an important thing to consider when analysing them.

From NGE+EoE to this last movie Shinji grows and understands the path to be happy always. This is not exclusive of the RoE saga because Anno has overcome his problems. Therefore, conclusions such as "now Anno is happier, so he wants Shinji to be happy" are not supported. What changed in RoE is that the growth of Shinji happens prior to the last impact and instrumentality, instead of growing after those experiences. This allows the portrayal of a lighter version of Shinji in those dramatic moments, resembling more a traditional hero who saves his friends, instead of letting them down and then coming to an understanding all together (because everyone shares a slice of the guilt cake) in instrumentality.

I believe that it would be more fruitful if we took into consideration his wife's work in the way that this tweet states, rather than engage ourselves in discussions about meta self-insertions.

I hope my words have helped those who felt like me after the release of the movie.

Thank you very much for all your time reading this.

#Evangelion #Rebuild of Evangelion #Shin Evangelion #asuka shikinami langley #Shinji Ikari #asushin #asuka x shinji #shinji x asuka #las #everybody finds love in the end #thrice upon a time #evangelion 3.0+1.0 #Asuka and shinji will meet in all evangelion universes

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prncesselene · 4 years ago

Note

Prompt: Kate ever the older sibling immediately takes to the younger Bridgertons and Anthony falls a little harder (set during Anthony’s “nope I can’t love my wife, not me” phase)

Anthony pored over the accounts in front of him, the numbers and information on the pages stable and dependable. The work had come on stronger in the weeks since his wedding, which had led to a host of incredibly busy days for the young Viscount upon his arrival back in London.

This was good. Work was good. It kept his mind sharp, it made sure he stayed busy, and perhaps most importantly: it meant he was not thinking about his wife.

(It was a task he was resolutely failing as of late.)

They had only been married for two weeks, and already he felt himself far too happy.

He didn’t love Kate, of course, he’d made sure of that. But he could not deny she’d proven to be a much better companion than he might have ever hoped for. Kind, compassionate and intelligent, with a wit so sharp he was unsure how it was her barbs felt so sweet — and then at night…

Anthony shook his head. This was precisely the problem. She occupied his thoughts far too much, and what he needed to do was focus on his work.

Which became increasingly difficult to do, as the moment he forced his head back down, there was a knock at the door of his study.

“Anthony?”

Kate had a tendency to take Anthony’s breath away, and today was no different.

(His attraction to her was growing slightly out of hand. This, he would admit. How else to explain that burst of light in his chest, whenever she graced a room with her presence?)

Her gown was of a soft lavender color, one that highlighted the mesmerizing darkness of her hair.

(Then again, was there anything Kate wore that did not compliment her?)

She looked regal, like some sort of Empress, and yet the way she tapped her fingers nervously against the door signaled there was more to her appearance than a mere desire to see him.

“Is everything alright?”

“Yes, yes,” she turned to check for something in the hallway and then turned back to face him, smiling, though there was an edge to it. “Are you very busy this afternoon?”

“I suppose it depends,” he grinned, ready to put his papers away at a moment's notice for a very particular activity if she so desired. “What do you need?”

Kate opened her mouth to reply, but before she could do so, two vaguely chestnut-colored whirlwinds stormed into his study, followed by Newton’s excited barks and taps on the hardwood floor behind them.

“Anthony!”

“We’re so pleased you’re back!”

“I’ve learned a new song on the pianoforte, I must sho—”

“I taught Newton how to sit just now! I think he’ll—”

“I was speaking first, Gregory! Do not interrupt me!”

“Well if you would speak like a lady instead of shouting, then perhaps—”

“Settle down, the both of you,” Anthony bit down a laugh, forcing his most stern expression. “What is the meaning of all of this?”

“Kate came to see us yesterday,” Hyacinth floated to where the woman in question was primly seated on the armchair in front of his desk and took one of Kate’s arms in hers. “She told us we could come and stay!”

“Oh?” Anthony darted his eyes between the two younger Bridgertons and his wife, whose cheeks had become stained with pink.

“Just for the night,” Kate said, with a warm smile on her face. “I thought it might be nice. If you’re not busy, perhaps we can retire to the drawing room after dinner and play cards?”

“And I still want to show you that song. Both of you. Please?”

Gregory was holding Newton now, attempting to act removed from the situation –– such was the attitude of a slowly growing young man –– though the glimmer in his eyes said otherwise. “And I get to play with him for a while. I like Newton.”

Kate chuckled, reaching out to scratch the beast between the ears. “He likes you, too.”

Anthony’s heart fell just a bit, seeing his two youngest siblings so excited, each of them in their own ways. As a child, their father had made it a point to provide them all with quality time, but Gregory and Hyacinth hadn’t quite had the chance to receive the same sort of attention.

“Why wait until dinner?” He made a show of closing his books, meeting Kate’s eyes with a smile for a brief moment before standing up. “We can begin now.”

Hyacinth squealed — a most unladylike sound, but he was feeling charitable — and dragged Kate ahead of them, while Gregory carried Newton and Anthony followed closely behind.

That afternoon, he indulged in Hyacinth’s performances and engaged Gregory in his ambitious animal training — Kate’s dog did many things, but paying attention to commands was not high on the list — all the while watching his wife: gossipping with Hyacinth while they prepared tea, kneeling to show Gregory some sort of card trick, and answering any questions the two of them had about how she managed to win Anthony in the particularly noteworthy game of Pall Mall that had quickly become legend.

Regardless of what she did, he couldn’t help but notice that she fit right in.

(Or the way it made him feel fuller and happier than he had in a long, long time.)

After dinner and sweets, the four of them sat in the drawing room once again, while Newton slept peacefully by the fire. The atmosphere was so peaceful, so quaint, that he couldn’t help it if he nudged Kate closer to him and inhaled the soft scent of her.

She was his wife after all — he didn’t need to love her to do any of that.

(Or to run his thumb across her knuckles softly. To closely watch the way her lashes fluttered when she was teasing the children and how her lips pursed when she was figuring out how to answer something. Right?)

“Thank you for bringing them,” he murmured in her ear, low enough that the two younger ones would not hear. “I didn’t realize how much I had missed them.”

“They missed you, too,” she smiled. “It’s a big change for them, I imagine. Having to leave their childhood home all because I turned up.”

“You’re natural with them. They like you.”

“It’s true,” Hyacinth said, grinning at them when they met her gaze and lacking any shame in having overheard their conversation. “We do. Very much. Right, Gregory?”

The boy nodded, an abashed expression on his own face.

Kate seemed to be at a loss for words, much to Anthony’s amusement. He gripped her tighter and was inordinately pleased when she sighed and dropped her head on his shoulder.

“I’m not sure what my brother did to deserve a wife like you,” Hyacinth continued, “but I dare say we are all the better for it.”

Kate blushed, waving away the compliment. She smiled and told the two of them, “When you’re older, I’ll tell you exactly what your brother did to lead us here.”

Hyacinth frowned, clearly confused as to what Kate meant, but too close to exhaustion to put up much of a fight. “Well. As long as my future husband loves me the way Anthony clearly loves you, it doesn’t quite matter how one gets there, I think.”

Kate smiled and fiddled with her hands, though it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “I suppose so.”

Anthony tried to refute Hyacinth’s claim, if only internally, but he couldn’t.

Not when Kate was so sweet and warm against him; not after she’d set up an entire day for him to be with his siblings and enjoy their company; especially not when it was clear she’d blended so seamlessly into his life, that he didn’t understand how he’d ever managed without her in it.

No. In that moment, Anthony only knew one thing for certain.

(He was in big, big trouble.)

#Bridgerton #bridgerton fic #kate x anthony #kathony #anthony bridgerton #kate sheffield #delaniewrites #anonymous #thank you for sending this in anon!!!#i loved playing with the family dynamics so much #i hope you enjoy :))))

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dontmindmyshadowhunting · 3 years ago

Text

When Clary meets Ash (Fan Fic)

Hey :) this is how I imagine Clary and Ash's reunion (after the events of TDA) in the fic I am currently writing.

It's Chapter 5 of "The new Shadowhunter Academy" (Ao3 link to the full fic is here but don't click or skip Chapter 4 if you are not in for Kitty sexy times).

Thanks to @amchara for providing beta work and to @blaidr for letting me bounce my ideas off him.

To give you context, Ash met Dru in Faerie and they exchanged their numbers. Clary seized the opportunity to obtain Ash's number from Dru and write him the following text message:

“Hey, Ash. Dru gave me your number and please don’t be angry with her, I am very strong headed and there was absolutely no way she could have refused. I am Clary. You may have heard of me. I am your late father’s sister. That’s right, your aunt. You can call me whatever you like. Emma told me what you did in Thule, how you saved her. How you saved everyone. That was very brave of you. In a way, both of us were faced with a very difficult choice and made the same. Doing what we thought was right. I would love to meet you and tell you about my mother – your grandmother – or just talk about anything. It can be things totally unrelated to the Shadow world. Hobbies, movies, books and games we like. You can pick the time and place. Neutral territory. Hope to see you soon. Clary.”

This is what happens following the text:

*****

Clary wrapped her oversized woolen coat tighter around herself, as she made her way through the crowded streets of Manhattan. The route was familiar. She took it almost every week to meet up with her parabatai and have what they called their “mundane hour”. They talked about everything, from Clary’s art to the latest TV shows they had binge watched. No topic was off the table, save for anything related to Shadowhunter duties, and the Shadow world in general. As co-head of the New York Institute and since recently, artist owning her own gallery, her weeks were very busy so she looked forward to those rare and precious moments when she could escape with Simon. Her heart rate seemed to accelerate with each of her steps, and it didn’t help that she also had the strange feeling she was being observed. When she reached her destination, she took a deep breath and opened the double glass doors leading her inside the coffee shop. She and Simon had their regular routine there, and her gaze went automatically to their usual spot, near the large windows.

A broad-shouldered jock with a baseball jacket was already sitting there, speaking loudly to his cheerleader girlfriend. Two of his friends were standing next to him, mock punching his muscular arms. It made her realize that Ash probably never had this. High school friends and romance. Ash. She was still struggling to figure out why he had asked her to meet up at this place, at the exact time she usually got there with Simon. Was it him being considerate, a clumsy way to make her feel comfortable in familiar surroundings? Or was it a warning? I know your habits, and precisely where you take your coffee, when and with whom.

Her gaze swept over the crowded room - her heart seemed to have moved up her throat, the frantic pulse almost choking her - and zeroed on a tall, white blond haired boy ordering coffee at the counter, standing with his back to Clary. She sucked in a breath. Ash. He was fully clothed in black - Dru had told her that was his usual style - and huge headphones were covering his ears. She slowly and cautiously approached him and when she was close enough, put a tentative hand on his elbow. “Ash,” she whispered. The boy glanced over his shoulder, his blue eyes quizzical and… it was not Ash.

She mumbled an apology.

“Clary,” said a voice coming from behind, and she froze. It was not a boy’s but a man’s voice, the sound beautiful and ethereal. She just stood there for a few seconds before she slowly turned.

What had she expected? Merely a taller version of the young boy with pointy ears and a sour expression that she had met three years before, dressed in the same refined velvet clothing threaded with gold that identified him as fey royalty?

If so, she had clearly been mistaken.

She blinked a few times to make sure her mind wasn’t playing tricks. He was tall, as she had anticipated (Sebastian had been after all). At least two heads taller than her and probably taller than Jace. But he was also very different from the Ash of her memories, from the sketches she had drawn of him after they had crossed paths. He had amazingly grown into his features, his face now the best combination of the Seelie Queen and Sebastian’s. As if he had picked the most alluring colours of the palette. And the result was… Stunning. Clary’s hand twitched, aching for a pencil.

He was not dressed in black, but in plain blue jeans and he had stuffed his hands in a very elegant, long pale gray cashmere coat. His white blond hair and pointy ears were concealed under a deep green beanie, the same colour as the scarf around his neck.

He arched a silvery eyebrow at Clary, his expression bemused, and she realized she was staring.

“Clary, seriously?” he said, his gently scolding tone at odds with his enchanting voice. “This guy isn't even half as good looking as me." He glanced pointedly at the patron in question, who was gaping at him, and shrugged. "No offense, dude,” Ash added as an afterthought.

He turned his attention to the barista. She was beautiful, dark skinned with long braided hair and pouty lips. “Hello, gorgeous. We’ll have a double espresso with oat milk and a dash of cinnamon for the lady and a plain black coffee for me.”

Clary stifled a gasp and tried to hide her discomfort. He knew exactly how she took her coffee, and she didn’t know how she felt about this.

The pretty barista nodded eagerly, her cheeks red and her big dark eyes dreamy as she stared at Ash. “Why don’t you… Go sit at your table and I’ll bring you your beverages when they are ready?” the girl offered enthusiastically. The long line of patrons that had formed behind Clary and Ash would probably disagree but she didn’t seem to care.

“That would be lovely,” Ash said in his euphonious voice. “And so are you.” He winked at her, and Clary wondered if she would need to catch her while she swooned. He paid before Clary even had a chance to reach for her purse.

“Come,” he said in a commanding tone, as he made his way to Clary and Simon's usual table. This was unnerving.

The jock seated there paused in the middle of his conversation with his girlfriend when he saw Ash stand casually next to him. Clary braced herself for a heated exchange, but she should have known better.

“You want to sit somewhere else,” Ash said evenly, one hand inside the pocket of his designer coat and the other stretched out in front of him as he studied his fingernails.

“I want to sit somewhere else,” the jock repeated in a monotonous voice, his gaze blank. He stood, as if in a trance, and his girlfriend and friends followed him, puzzled, to an empty table at the far end of the room.

Ash drew a chair for Clary and she sat. He did the same, opposite her. He pulled off his beanie, and shook his silvery hair, like a crown of liquid white gold. He wasn’t dressed for the part but he had never looked more like a prince.

“Ash… please don’t do that.”

“Do what?”

“Your mind tricks.”

He cocked his head and observed her, his face unreadable, for what seemed like an endless minute.

“You’ve been my aunt for what? Five minutes? And you’re already trying to boss me around?”

“I am not trying to boss you around, Ash. Simply asking you not to abuse your powers.”

A shadow flickered across his green eyes.

“I’ll let you in on a secret, Clary. I spend much more time and energy holding back than using my powers. If I did let go, trust me, you would know.”

Clary opened her mouth to reply but was cut short as the barista popped in front of them and placed the mugs on the table. She slid a paper napkin to Ash, her phone number scribbled on it. Clary tried not to roll her eyes, as Ash flashed his dazzling smile at the girl, who almost tripped on her own feet as she returned to the counter.

Clary lifted her cup to her lips and paused, as she caught sight of the cinnamon powder floating on the surface. She put it down.

“What about this?" She pointed at her coffee mug and waved around them. “ What is it, if not a show of power? What are you trying to tell me? That you know everything about me? That you’ve been spying on me?”

Ash pulled on a fake shocked expression, mouth open and green eyes wide in mock innocence. “Spying on you? What are you talking about?”

“Come on, Ash. The evidence is right here.” She lifted her cup abruptly, and hot liquid splashed out of it. “You know exactly how I like it. When I take it, where I take it.”

Ash’s mouth twitched. “Where did you pick up these lines? From the script of some lame X-rated movie?”

“Adult movies have storylines?” Clary asked, arching her eyebrows.

“Of course they do. Where do you think the Grimm Brothers took their inspiration from?”

He grabbed the paper napkin and started mopping the coffee she had spilled on the table. The blue ink faded and the barista’s phone number vanished.

“You lost that girl’s number,” Clary noted.

Ash shrugged. “I have a girlfriend now.”

Right. Drusilla Blackthorn. From the moment she had met her, Clary had known that the smart and quiet turquoise-eyed girl would someday turn heads.

Clary knew that Dru hadn’t really confirmed their relationship status yet, but it was neither the time nor place to broach the subject with Ash. She was, after all, on a mission to win over her nephew and had not been doing a very good job so far.

A young lanky boy with pink hair and piercings covering his skin walked by and dropped a glossy flyer of the upcoming Mortal Instruments concert on the table between them. Clary hid a smile. It reminded her...

“I have something for you.” She said as she fumbled inside her bag and took out the drawing she had made of Jocelyn, Luke and herself, in front of Luke’s upstate farm (before it was turned into the new Shadowhunter Academy) and laid it on the table.

Ash looked at it hesitantly, like a kid who really wanted to grab the candy but was afraid there was a mouse trap under it. He hunched his shoulders forward and clasped his hands under the table, as if to keep himself from temptation.

“I recognize your art. I like it. I also appreciate Julian Blackthorn’s but I may not be as objective where… one of the subjects of his drawings is concerned.”

“You’ve seen my art?”

He leaned back on his chair, crossing his long arms behind his head. Somehow, he managed to make it look graceful.

“Which Shadowhunter hasn’t? I noticed that you often drew Jace with angel wings.”

“Yes. That’s how he used to appear to me. In recurring dreams.”

“Was it?”

“Was it what?”

“Jace. In your dreams.”

“Who else would it be?”

“Someone who looks like him, but who actually has wings.”

“You mean Kit.”

Ash shrugged. “It would make more sense.” His gaze flickered back to the drawing, which still lay on the table, untouched. “You look a lot like your mom.”

“So do you”, Clary blurted before she could take it back.

Ash shot her an unfathomable look.

“How is she?” She asked.

“You mean, the Seelie Queen? You tell me. You must see her more often than I do.”

“Well, not really. I am not that involved in politics, even though Alec is Consul. Julian Blackthorn is the one who deals with her most of the time. She appears to have... a fondness for him.”

“Who doesn’t?”

Clary’s mouth quirked up.

“I am glad you are getting along with the Blackthorns. They are such an incredibly strong and talented family.”

“They are.” He turned his face away, but not before she could see the expression of longing plain on his delicate features.

She swallowed. She was painfully reminded that Ash never had a shot at a happy family. Born of a political union, and dragged here and there, though interdimensional portals, by people more interested in his powers than anything else he had to offer as a person. And judging by how Dru talked about Ash, he had a lot to offer.

“I imagine it must have been awful living in Thule… But what you did for Emma and Julian back there... if it hadn’t been for you…”

“I don’t want to talk about Thule,” he interrupted her. “Can I borrow this?” He asked, his long fingers brushing the Mortal Instruments concert flyer.

“Sure.”

She watched as he started folding the paper, realizing with a jolt of surprise that he was making an origami and wondering what shape would come out of it. It was odd seeing him doing such an innocuous thing, as if he was not a faerie prince with a heavy heritage and a giant target on his back, but an ordinary boy. She remembered what Emma had told her of her encounter with Ash in a nightclub in Thule. The way he had shown no interest, playing a video game in a corner of the room, while Sebastian was committing atrocities. Had he really been as indifferent as he looked?

“Ash, we don’t need to talk about Thule if you don’t want to, but if I can help you… If there is anything I can do-”

“Why?” He looked up sharply. “Are you able to create a rune that could undo the things I saw?” His tone was even, but his delicate fingers had started slightly shaking and he suddenly dropped the paper - his work unfinished - to fold his hands under the table to hide it. From that moment, she knew.

“No…” Clary said, drawing the word out. “But trust me, coming from someone whose memory has been tampered with... it’s not a solution.”

“I said undo. Not forget.” He snapped. “I am not such a coward that I would choose blissful ignorance over knowledge.”

He caught himself, blinking, then clenched his jaw and looked away. As if he was ashamed he had allowed himself to show any emotion at all. But Clary had managed to catch a glimpse of what lay underneath the mask and wanted nothing more than to see the rest of it.

“I don’t think you are a coward,” she said.

He looked over at her, a silver eyebrow raised. “I let it all happen, didn’t I? I didn’t lift a finger.”

“Because you couldn’t. Sebastian would have killed you. And you, Ash, are just like me. A survivor.”

He snorted and crossed his arms in front of him, leaning back on his chair. He had stretched out his long legs and Clary realized that he was tapping a foot nervously next to hers.

“Wrong. I could have. I chose not to. Because I am selfish. I don’t care about other people’s fate.”

His face split into a lazy, wicked grin. Clary could see Sebastian’s influence in his leer, but she wouldn't let it deceive her. Just as she wasn't fooled by his laid-back demeanor.

“I think it’s the opposite, actually. I think it’s because you care too much. It’s not death you are afraid of. The thing is, you have such a tender heart, you need to protect it from an affliction far greater than any physical pain you could endure. So you’d rather lie to yourself and pretend you feel nothing.”

From the long conversations she had with Tessa about her ancestors, Clary knew of a Fairchild boy who had been too compassionate for his own good. And he had been surrounded by loyal friends and loving parents, even though he had shut himself, putting on a facade while burying his grief in alcohol. Ash never had that kind of support. Throughout his life, he was left to figure things out on his own. If he was as empathetic as Clary thought he was, Ash probably had no other choice but to deal with his sensitivity alone. It was a miracle he had turned out the way he did.

“You have a lot of imagination,” he said after a moment. The ghost of a smile was still playing on his lips but something had passed across his eyes. “Then again, you are an artist. You seek beauty in the ugly. You find colors on a blank page. I admire your faith, but in this case, there is nothing to see.”

Clary jutted her chin stubbornly and they held each other’s gaze - his green eyes glittering in amusement and hers dead serious - in a staring contest.

“Still,” he said when he finally broke, first. “I shouldn’t have lashed out at you. I am sorry.”

Clary softened. “Don’t be. I am glad you are finally showing your true self. You don’t need to wear your mask around me, Ash.”

He chuckled. “Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.”

“It’s funny that you would quote Oscar Wilde.”

“And why is that?”

She shrugged. “Just another thing you share in common with a Fairchild I heard stories about.”

“Clary,” he said in a gently reproving tone. Her name sounded like a caress in his melodious voice. “Are you being purposefully cryptic to arouse my curiosity?”

She moved closer, so she was sitting at the edge of her chair, and leaned forward, hands folded over the table.

“If you show me yours, I’ll show you mine,” she whispered. “Let me in. Shed all pretense.”

“I can’t promise you that,” he whispered back in confidence, leaning closer still so that their faces were inches from each other. “It’s like fabric that burns and melts into skin. If you peel it off, the skin goes with it.” He grimaced, reclining on his chair. “It won’t be a pretty sight. I don’t think even my level of hotness could sustain it.”

“Ash…” Clary said, sensing that she finally had an opening to say what she had been brooding over ever since she had learnt of Ash’s return from that forsaken land. “I wanted to tell you… I am sorry.”

Ash’s green eyes widened.

“Sorry for what?”

“I should have looked for you. I should not have given up on you.”

Ash’s jaw clenched and he looked away. “Don’t,” he said through gritted teeth. “You don’t owe me anything.”

“I do. Seb-...Ash, we...”

“What did you just call me?” He snarled. His eyes snapped back to her, suddenly cold as ice.

“Sorry, Ash. What I meant to say is… we are family."

“I already have a family.”

“I know that you care about Janus…”

“I don’t want to talk about him,” he cut her off.

“And we don’t need to. I just wanted you to know… I understand that he’s been like a father to you, and I don’t plan on moving against him, unless he strikes first or makes it impossible for me to overlook his actions.”

“Because of me?”

“Of course, because of you.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Ash… You are my nephew, my blood. You may not feel the same way about me, but that’s how I feel about you. I want you to know that, if things go wrong, for any reason, you can always turn to me. My home is your home.”

“What you are actually telling me is, Ash, if I kill the one person who has ever really cared about you - and it might definitely come to that - you can always grab my hand, still sticky and warm from his blood. Well, how nice of you. To quote Oscar Wilde again, true friends stab you in the front.”

“That’s not what I am-”

“Clary,” Ash interrupted as he stood. “Do not make me choose between you and him. Because…” Looking down at her, he swallowed hard, as if the words pained him. “Because you will lose.”

She knew exactly what he was telling her. Because they were the same in that way. Ruthless, even with their own blood, when it came to protecting their loved ones. If I had to choose between killing him and you, I would not hesitate. I would end you. Yet, despite his cold statement, despite his sharp and resolved tone, his eyes seemed to carry a deep regret.

“Ash, I understand what you're saying and I swear I am not trying to make you pick a side”, Clary said, suddenly desperate, as she mirrored him and stood. “Please don’t go. I am sorry I brought it up. We will stop talking about him. Starting now.”

“This was a bad idea. Never try to contact me again.” He drew his green beanie from the pocket of his coat and put it back on. He turned and strode toward the exit. She grabbed the family drawing that still lay on the table, stuffed it in her bag and followed him, half-running, as he was quickly losing here with his long legs.

“Ash! Please. Give me another chance. I am so sorry.”

He paused right outside the coffee shop, closed his eyes and sighed. “Don’t be. It didn’t change what I had planned to tell you anyway. I don’t want to know anything about you or your mother. I don’t want to have anything to do with either of you.”

“I don’t think that’s true,” she said, and he whipped his head around to look at her in surprise. “I know you were under house arrest. You probably had to break out of whichever place they were holding you in to come here. You wouldn’t have done that unless you wanted something. Something from me. Tell me, Ash. Tell me what it is.”

He turned his face away so she could not see his expression. A full minute passed and she had almost given up on receiving an answer, when he finally spoke.

“My fa… Sebastian. How different do you think he would have been if not for the demon blood?”

“Oh. Ash.” she whispered. She brought her knuckle against her sternum instinctively, as if to cover the gaping whole in her chest. “I saw him, you know. The brother I should have had. The father that should have raised you. If only for a few minutes.” She paused to bite back tears. “In those few minutes, he told us how to get rid of the Endarkened and said he was sorry. It’s not much to go for, but… that’s not all. I have recurring dreams of the green eyed boy that was robbed from us. And I know in my heart he would have been the best brother a sister could ever dream of.”

He was still looking away and she could see the sharp line, the stubborn set of his jaw. She wanted to hug him, to tell him she would not fail him again. That they could mourn her brother, his father, together. That he didn’t need to bear the anger at everything that was wasted alone.

He finally turned to look at her. A tear had escaped to run freely down his cheek. He had completely shed off his mask, and what Clary saw was like a stab in her gut. She shivered. Wordlessly, he reached for his deep green scarf and tied it gingerly around her neck. The way Sebastian had when they had walked down the streets of Paris. Ash looked nothing like her brother had then. His green eyes held an infinite sadness that spoke of a grief deeper, older than the short years of his life.

“It doesn’t change anything.” He said - she hadn’t imagined his beautiful voice could sound so hollow - and turned to leave.

“Ash, wait.” She grabbed him by the elbow and he froze. His eyes widened as his gaze zeroed on the fingers covering his coat, as if he couldn’t quite believe what he was seeing. She realized she had never touched him before.

“Clary, what do you want from me?” He asked in a tired voice.

“I just want to get to know you.”

“Trust me, you don’t. I am not the brother who was stolen from you. I cannot replace him. If anything, I am just like Sebastian was before me... my father’s broken toy. There is no way to fix me.”

“I don’t believe it for a second,” she said, almost frantic. “And I don’t want to find my brother's replacement, I want to get to know you! Ash. The real Ash.”

“I already told you. That’s not happening. Don’t ever try to contact me again. I am serious.”

“So that’s it?” She tried not to sound too whiny but panic was eating away at her stomach and she thought she would throw up. “You went through all this trouble spying on me, learning how I take my coffee to simply disappear from my life from one moment to the next?”

He gazed at her for a moment, his expression unfathomable. It seemed like an eternity before he finally spoke.

“I was not spying on you, Clary. I was merely following your stalker.”

“What? You were… protecting me?”

“Take care of yourself, Clary.”

He said as he stepped away from her and vanished into the crowd.

****

Clary threw herself in Jace’s arms as soon as he opened the door to their bedroom at the New York Institute. He froze, then started stroking her hair in a soothing gesture.

“Clary, what happened? Is everything okay?”

“No,” she said, her voice muffled against his chest.

“Tell me, Clary. What is it?”

She pulled away and wiped tears with the back of her hand. Jace’s face was a mask of shock. Clary couldn’t blame him. She almost never cried.

“I messed up.”

“What did you mess up?”

She walked to the bed and sat on the mattress. She took a deep breath, bracing herself for his reaction. “Ash. I met up with him earlier today.”

Jace tensed and his hands clenched into fists. “WHAT- Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because you would have insisted on coming.”

“Damn right, I would have. And I would have been right, too. Look at you, you look miserable.”

“It’s my fault,” she said in a small voice. “I pushed him too far.”

Jace sighed and came to sit next to her, putting a comforting arm around her shoulder. “I am sure you did nothing wrong, Clary.”

“I thought- When I showed him the drawing… the way he looked at it, Jace. He is not indifferent. He cares.”

“What drawing?”

“The one I made of the family,” she said absently, as she grabbed her bag and started fumbling inside.

She sucked in a sharp breath. The drawing wasn’t there. Peeking out in its stead, and folded out of the flyer of the Mortal Instruments concert, were origami faerie wings. The Fairchild family symbol.

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stargazer-balladeer · 4 years ago

Text

[ii] - were you always this cute?

Word Count: 2.6k

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“I promise that I’ll make you fall for me!”

Those words keep echoing in your head endlessly, making you more embarrassed and frustrated. A proclamation you made earlier keeps replaying in your head, including the face that Albedo made making your cheeks warm at the memory of him smirking. Even though you said those words to him, you didn’t exactly have a plan or an idea on how to do it. Were you supposed to immediately act on it or what? How the hell are you supposed to do this? Why did you even say that when you don’t even know what he likes? Saying those words with much confidence because you were too caught up in the moment. Turning your head around to stuff it on your pillow before letting out a scream. Why does it sound so easy to say yet so hard to act on it? Growling to yourself, you sat up and opened your phone. You aren’t going to give up on this easily, you gave your word to Albedo and you’ll stick to it.

Sending the message you typed, you put your phone on your side as you await for their response.

“So let me get this straight… you want to know how to make someone fall in love with you, correct?” You nodded your head, almost too eagerly. Watching her sigh as she sent you a pointed glare. “And what makes you think that I’m an expert in this department again?” “You have a harem.” You shrugged, taking a sip on your drink. Lumine sighed once more, rubbing her temples. “Just because many people likes me doesn’t mean that I’m an expert in love.” Setting down your drink, pouting at her as you stare at her pitifully. “I just need help, Lumi~ I don’t know what to do…” “That’s not my problem.” Lumine snapped, taking a sip on her milk tea.

Sighing, you knew from the beginning that this wasn’t easy. Lumine could be more stubborn than her twin brother, Aether. You wished you asked help from him but he’s friends with Venti, who was known to be a gossip queen. As much as you love Aether, you couldn’t help but sigh at his rather naive personality. He could be so gullible sometimes. Lumine, on the other hand, can keep a secret and is rather introverted. If you have to describe Aether and Lumine, Aether would be the sun due to his extroverted nature while Lumine is the moon due to her mysterious nature. “So, who’s the boy?” Lumine suddenly asked, staring at you. Pursuing your lips, you hesitantly told her. “It’s Albedo…” You told her.

Her eyes widened a bit before returning to normal. “Ah… I see.” She said, looking away. Tilting your head slightly at her odd behavior but decided to brush it off. “I just want to know what he likes and dislikes. What I should do and what I shouldn’t do around him.” You elaborated further. Lumine nodded her head, her eyes looking away. “The best advice I could think of right now is you should be you,” Lumine said, returning her gaze to you. “Much like the people I’ve met that came from Mondstadt, he prefers people that are true to themselves and won’t let anyone’s judgment affect them in any way.”

Nodding your head, trusting her advice. It was better than nothing you suppose. “Thanks, Lumi! I knew I could count on you!” You said while smiling brightly at her. You didn’t notice how forced her smile is or the bitterness behind her words. “Glad to help as always…”

Walking through the hallways with your mind drifting off as usual, and because of this, you didn’t notice the person in front of you. Which resulted in you accidentally colliding with them. “Sorry! I wasn’t looking.” You apologized, looking up to meet a pair of pointed cold amber eyes, much colder than Albedo’s and much fiercer. His hair green with a streak of light green and a purple diamond-shaped on his forehead, wearing a black-themed outfit. He seems familiar to you for some reason… “Watch where you’re going next time.” He huffed, turning around and walking away from you. Glaring at his retreating figure before rolling your eyes. “Rude.”

Deciding to just ignore the rude emo boy, you continued your way to your class. Adjusting the straps of your bag, you arrived at your destination. Taking a breath before sliding the door to enter, immediately getting swarmed by greetings from your classmates. Returning the gesture with a greeting of your own, you made your way to your desk. Hu tao’s bag or hat isn’t present yet on her desk so you assume that she’ll be late again. Taking a peek at the desk horizontally to yours in a different row (so like his seat is northwest from yours), you noticed he wasn’t there either. Probably in the lab, making some experiments before class starts. Shrugging, you take a seat and start to set up the things you need for your first period.

Grabbing a spare notebook and flipping the pages until you find a blank page, you then grab a pencil and start to sketch. It wasn’t anything special or amazing compared to those art students who are amazing in drawing and painting, it was just a simple glaze lily that you saw while on your way to school. Stroking your pencil absentmindedly but still with precision, your mind half there but at the same time not. While stroking the petals of the flower, you didn’t notice someone watching you sketch from the side. “Your drawing skill is quite excellent. The way you accurately stroke your pencil with how glaze lily looks like… I’m quite impressed.”

Flinching at the sudden familiar deep voice, you slammed your notebook in surprise, whipping your head to the side to see Albedo staring at you. Locking eyes with one another, he tilted his head. “Why’d you stop?” He asked, his mouth in a small frown. Feeling your face heating up, you looked away. “I-It’s not that great. I was just… drawing randomly.” You said, your mind still not with you. Fidgeting slightly, you heard him hum in response and shuffling sound. “Really? I don’t see it that way.” Slowly raising your head to him but not quite meeting his eyes, you raise a brow, “What do you mean?”

“I think it’s lovely. Far better than any drawings I’ve seen so far.” Giving you a small smile before walking to his desk, leaving you dazed at what happened. After a few moments your mind finally comprehends what’s happening, you slammed your head to your desk, earning a lot of weird and concerned looks from your classmates. Only one found your reaction adorable and amusing. “Heyy~ are you trying to kill yourself or something~?” You heard your friend’s voice echoing beside you. “If you want to die already, I can give you a discount for being my best friend~!”

Albedo watches as the teacher continues to teach the rather boring topic that he knows already. Tapping his pen once in a while on his desk as he wishes for classes to end already. If he would have to choose his favorite teacher so far, it’ll be Mr. Zhongli. The way he teaches is rather unique, and what Albedo admires about him is his endless knowledge about certain things, most especially glaze lilies. Speaking of glaze lily, he looked at the corner of his eyes to see you almost asleep on your desk. Eyes almost closing and head on your palm, as you tried to stay awake. He watches amusingly as your head almost falls over and the desk. Hiding his growing smile behind his palm, he stares forward again.

“Miss [L/N]. Are you listening or are you busy trying not to fall asleep there?” The teacher’s voice boomed through the room, making everyone jump, most especially you. Watching your reaction at the corner of his eyes, he watches as you sit up straight, not anymore sleepy. “No ma’am! Sorry…” You said while smiling sheepishly. Stifling his chuckle as the teacher huffed at your response. “If I see you sleeping again, I’ll give you detention and more homework.” Nodding at what your teacher said, he watches as Hu tao teases you. His eyes look at your smiling face, the way your eyes wrinkle when you smile, when your nose scrunches up, and the way your eyes shine.

Were you always this adorable?

“Ah, miss [L/N]. May I have a favor to ask you?” The silky and commanding voice of your economics teacher rang through the room after the bell finished ringing. Looking up to meet the ruby-colored eyes of miss Ningguang, you hesitantly nodded your head. Bidding a quick goodbye to Hu tao, you quickly made your way to your teacher. She crossed her arms as she smiled at you softly, which made her look more beautiful. “What is it, miss Ningguang?” “I need you to deliver something for me. You see, a fellow colleague of mine was in a hurry earlier and requested me to bring these supplies to the laboratory. But I still have a meeting to attend to now, so can I ask you to deliver these to Laboratory 2? Just place it on any desk.” She explained. Laboratory 2? Isn’t that where Albedo’s club is? You decided to nod your head since you have nothing better to do anyway, and gives you an excuse to see Albedo but no one needs to know about that. “Sure miss Ningguang! I’ll deliver these for you.”

“Good. You are dismissed now.”

Carrying the box that contains the supplies, you carefully navigated through the hall, minding other students and being careful not to bump into any of them. Laboratory 2 was upstairs near the third-years. “Ah! Miss [Y/N]!” Someone’s voice called from behind, making you look and see Sucrose smiling bashfully. “How are you, miss [Y/N]?” She asked, going to your side and noticing the box you’re holding. “And what’s in the box?” “It contains supplies for Laboratory 2. Miss Ningguang made me deliver it.” You answered while smiling. “And I’m doing alright. You?” Sucrose nods her head enthusiastically. “I’m doing excellent! I managed to recite in class without stuttering today!” Chuckling at her enthusiasm, you would’ve hugged her if it weren’t for the box you’re holding.

“That’s great! Good job.” She laughs sheepishly, her pale cheeks turning pink, still not used at how openly you praised her. “Anyways! I’m actually heading to Laboratory 2 now. Why don’t we go together?” Nodding your head, you two continued your walk to the lab, talking along the way. You knew Sucrose ever since she moved to the house right next to yours, effectively making her your neighbor. She was still as shy as ever, even when you two were kids. Even though you were older than her by three years, it doesn’t stop you to hang out with Sucrose. Sucrose actually skipped two years during middle school, which makes her the youngest among the first years.

You soon arrived at your destination making your conversation with your shy friend come to an end, sliding the door for you. “Thanks.” Entering the room, your eyes immediately landed on the figure inside, who was busy sketching something in the paper. “Good afternoon Mr. Albedo.” Sucrose greeted, which made Albedo look up to see you and Sucrose entering the room, he nodded in greeting “Good afternoon Sucrose. What brings you here, [Y/N]?” He asked, curious why you’re here until he noticed the box in your hands and realized why you’re here. “Ah. Is that the supplies? Thank you for bringing it.” Setting down his clipboard on the table and walked to where you stood. Sucrose went in already and started to set her things up on another desk, which you guessed hers.

“This must’ve been heavy. Sorry for the inconvenience.” He said, getting the box from you and gently placing it on a spare desk. “No no! It’s okay.” You said, reassuring him with a smile on your face. He nodded his head while glancing at Sucrose, who was now busy with tinkering an old-looking clock. His eyes glanced back at you. “Are you about to go home now?” He asked, his eyes unconsciously inspecting your face which made you self-conscious. Starting to play with your hands, you shake your head. “N-Not really. Since I have nothing better to do, I’ll drop by the library today.” You said, averting your eyes. Humming at your answer, he nodded his head. “I see.. Take care then.”

“Ah, Sucrose. I have to go now. I forgot that I have to pick-up Klee at her school.” Albedo announced when he realized how much time had passed after he glanced at the clock hanging on the wall. Sucrose nodded her head while smiling slightly. “Ok, Mr. Albedo. Take care while going home!” “Same to you.” After Albedo closes the door, he sighed while running a hand through his hair. An experiment has gone wrong earlier when Sucrose accidentally gave him the wrong potion, as much as he was annoyed, he doesn’t have the heart to scold the soft-hearted girl so he lets it go. Opening his eyes and adjusting his bag, he started to walk through the empty halls. It was already 6, which means almost everyone is gone from school, save from those people that have clubs.

When he steps out, he takes a deep breath. He’s been inside that lab for a long time now, it’s nice to have fresh air now. While walking though, he passed by an open window. His eyes decided to take a peek inside and noticed a familiar person sleeping peacefully in the window, you. You were sleeping on top of your arms, facing at the side making Albedo see your peaceful sleeping face, and underneath your arms was a book. Furrowing his brows, he stopped walking and stared at your sleeping figure. Don’t you know how dangerous it is to sleep in an open window? What if someone passed by and took a picture of you? Or stolen something from you? Or someone stupid deciding to kidnap you?

Huffing at your naivety, but he can’t help but watch you sleep. A strand of hair fell on your face, almost like an instinct, Albedo’s hand moved on its own and tucked the strand behind your ear. By now, he was close enough to see the smallest details in your face. Normally, he doesn’t care about anyone. But why does this person make him feel things that he’s never felt before with anyone? Sighing as he leans back, turns around before leaning on the wall and sliding down. What did you do to him to make him feel this way? Feeling his cheeks heat up, he huffed.

Ever since you made that declaration the other day, he couldn’t get you off his mind. Out of everyone in his class, he noticed you the most. He thought it was because of how often you get in trouble with the teacher or your hyperactive friend. But when you confessed to him that day, he felt his heart skip a beat. He recalled how scared he was, why did it beat? If he was being honest, he didn’t know what he was saying until he heard you sobbing. He made you cry. Never in his life thought he would experience this kind of pain. But the almighty Albedo would never admit it.

This is not love, he thought as he stood up and adjusted the strap of his bag on his shoulder. Taking a glance at your sleeping figure, now noticing that you’re slightly shivering. He sighed as he started to walk. “I’m not in love.” He mumbled under his breath.

Tagging: - - - *

@fanfictionenthusiast @mintkyo @shiro-no-hana @qimiie @akemeru @duhsies @izayami

#albedo.series #genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #albedo #albedo x reader #genshin impact albedo #genshin impact albedo x reader

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