#still dont really feel like i know how to write things but i thought this was worth trying

[intertexts]

biting the bullet and saying this is a fine place to talk about ashe winters also. because i have a lot of thoughts on that headcanon & i know other people do too & it's been long enough that i feel that it would be disingenuous not to at least, like, talk myself through it here so u guys can hear my thought process. prefacing this by saying hey! please don't make any assumptions about me based on one headcanon i don't love!

anyway i deliberately watched pd almost entirely in a vacuum because i didn't want spoilers or fanon to affect my perception of it. transfem ashe & her ubiquity was like. not what i was expecting? it's a headcanon that's Everywhere, & when i heard about & noted this i was like, okay, cool, there's going to be so much thoughtful analysis out there of ashe & their relationship with their dead mom & mark & the pd & that freedom and liberation they bring ashe &grief & guilt & trying to figure out what it means to have something for yourself when it's haunted! of course that's the core of this! of course canon analysis will still recognize that this is fanon and not canon!

to be clear, the reason i even still find the headcanon compelling and am not just bitter on it is because seraphex has been doing this (the thoughtful analysis) since the beginning n a couple others r doing this, & actively engaging with ashe's narrative as a trans narrative, & i hold affection for the way i would write & think abt her. but, like. for the most part, that's not what people are doing. it feels to me like at this point a lot of the ashe i see is girl ashe, like... just so there's a Girl Prime Defender? which is, y'know, necessarily not bad in and of itself, do whatever u want. and certainly no one's obligated to engage in fandom critically. but i do think we should, and that it's a good thing to do! but, like, effectively "girl ashe winters but im never going to touch on transness or anything and she's just a normal girl with a demon book" is different!! than "transfem ashe winters" which assumes and begs a different and more thoughtful type of relationship With gender. please for the love of god don't take this as me saying "well trans girls aren't real girls" please. this is not what i'm saying. "cassie sandsmark but she's just a boy who does all that instead" and "transmasc cassie sandsmark" are, narratively speaking, two entirely different things. same goes for ashe. this is what i was saying. with genderswapping.

anyway, the thing that does irk me is when people make canon pd analysis while using feminine pronouns for ashe and assume like yeah yeah obviously canon is stupid we all know ashe is a girl!!!! of course i can just treat that as canon. like, i dont know how to clearly articulate this in a polite way, but like-- she/her ashe is a headcanon. if you want to write meta specifically about or in relationship to your headcanon-- sure! but if you're trying to make genuine points about canon while intentionally blurring the lines between fanon and canon like that. i'm not going to really respect what you say about canon? again, this isn't just a pd thing. jane crocker he/him butch lesbian to me but i've never liked, like... canon-alpha-kids non-gender-related analysis where they're he/him ing her. like, like it or not-- if ashe winters Was canonically a girl, transfem or cis-- the story would be different!! similar, sure, but not the same!! things would hold different meaning!! things DO hold different meaning!! if you genuinely think that gender makes no meaningful difference when talking abt media im like going ahaha ok and scrolling on.

this also vaguely loops back around into the uncritical girl ashe so there's a Girl In The Crew thing earlier because like, you know, there's a lot of folks who only use this headcanon who aren't transfem & aren't engaging with her in a personal projection (if you're doing this extremely valid i love u) or transfem narrative way, and Only Ever Hitting Ashe with the Girl Beam, and i cannot lie to you folks-- hey. why's the shy, quieter, level-headed, awkward pc who Keeps All The Boys In Line And Thinks They're Silly and also has Long Hair the Only One you're Ever calling a girl? why is that? what are the biases you might be reinforcing or unconsciously leaning into? earlier i was saying how things. mean things!!! this is like. i don't love it. on the face of it it feels bad and shitty. crazy how only the soft spoken healer guy is ever a girl. it sucks and i hate it. if you're doing this i think you should stop and at least like fucking think about it.

&, y'know, this is certainly a little bit, like. gnc guy staring at vaguely gnc guy character: holy shit hes just like me. trans girl staring at same vaguely gnc guy character: holy shit she's just like me. there's no One Correct Answer here because headcanon & the way we think about characters is!!! personal!! they're both good if they bring both people joy!!! [obviously there is frequently erasure of transfem subtext in fandom i am aware of this it is not what i am talking about in this specific instance] & frequently they both bump up against each others sore spots through no fault of their own. what is crucial is being like. respectful of that & civil & allowing space for both readings to exist simultaneously.

anyway. i don't particularly have any great conclusion to wrap this up. i think if you're she/hering ashe because u think that it's Fucked Up that there are No Girls In PD and you want Girl Characters, you should maybe try getting into actual play shows by and with girls in them. i have recommendations. i have so many recommendations. trying to headcanon your way out of what the show fundamentally is-- four white guys on a discord call-- is not going to make you happy. please. please. god. if you're genuinely engaging with transfem ashe as a trans narrative i think that's cool and its not what im into but i see where ur comin from. keep doing ur thing have fun etc. if you just think Ashe should be Girl u should simply consider cisswapping/genderswapping its awesome it's fun also u should tag it so that people who do not particularly want!! to see girl ashe winters & like the canon character as he is!! or people who are uncomfortable with "hey what if soft spoken long haired boy was Girl, Actually" (for what should be obvious reasons) can curate their experience and won't get frustrated and miserable!!!!

i think that genderbend/cisswap aus have sifted out of popular fandom consciousness for lots of reasons with varying levels of validity & have instead been replaced with "well literally just trans ur character then". which is fine obviously, im transgener, etc. but the thing is, right, that being trans is a thing in real life, which actually means something, and carries weight, and like, very much says something about you. everyone can do fandom however they want forever, its a free country, but for me personally & the way i engage with media & the way i do think it is Good to engage with media, it feels.... disingenuous at best to just. say "well this character's trans now because i want them to be!!!" with zero thinking about characterization and narrative context and the weight which being trans would carry. and, you know, obviously there's narrative worlds where being gaytrans Doesn't actually mean shit or carry weight and shifting genders is as easy and common as making pancakes, this isn't me making any massive generalizing statement, but for the most part, transitioning is, like. that says something!! both diegetically (in-world), in how characters think of and interact w/ their transness and non-diegetically (outside-the-world), in what you are saying, either intentionally or accidentally, by making them trans. if you're interested in just.... having alt gender versions of those characters, genderswapping is free, easy, and fun!!!

[baejax-the-great]

If I were a writer at a big game company working on a sequel to a beloved series and the higher ups kept telling me to make the game shittier and kept sending my work back to me to be dumbed down even further somehow, and then once most of the writing was done they laid me and my coworkers off illegally without severance, I'd probably gleefully watch as people trashed the shitty game that shipped.

[puppppppppy]

its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously

[lets-try-to-be-normal-otakus]

Steddie fic where steve gets possessed (upside down, demons, etc.) who try and wreck his life and relationships? But it has none of his memories cause either 1) Steve ain't letting it happen 2) x entity doesn't have that power. All it has to go off of is emotions? Cue possessed!Steve meeting Eddie and breaking up with him to harvest more chaos, only

Steve and Eddie aren't together

P!Steve: "It's you, not me. I just don't love you anymore" <feeding off emotions

Eddie: ...

Steve: aw shit

P!Steve: *contains malicious chuckle*

Eddie: ... what?

P!Steve: Ik Ik, I still want to ravish you, but I can't! We're over, I'm breaking up with you. I hope you never get over me and think about my face on every pretty boy you fuck

Eddie: *//_//*

The demon/UD gets found out pretty quick.

[kasper7489]

I kinda hopped into the dc fandom by reading fics (I know I know lmao)

But as I've read more comics and looked into different characterization and analysis I now have a more developed idea as to how I view a lot of the characters and have preferences to how their written. I'm def the type to click out a fic if I find myself thinking 'he would not fucking say that'

Anyway this is just to say it's very funny to me when I go thru some of the fics I bookmarked at the begining of my interest and find myself going Uh Oh! I don't think I can read this anymore!

[dayurno]

Devastating that you had ten peaceful years to get into Jean and Jeremy but you only became interested in them when your headcanons got an expiration date... Like yeah Ill always keep smoker Jeremy in my heart no matter what Big Canon tries to sell me but it is a lowkey hilarious turn of events for you. Here you dropped this *hands you a cardboard L*

BAHAHA (takes the L) thank you............................... to be honest ive always liked jean and i never really cared for jeremy beyond his friendship with kevin and those opinions haven't changed so much as they have evolved. i still don't think much of jeremy beyond that he's funny and a good man, and i'm glad he's a good captain for jean, but there's not much investment here. perhaps the new book might make him more worthwhile to think upon, but truly there's very little about jeremy that makes him interesting or engaging to me beyond the amusement of his dynamics with jean and kevin. i daresay that as a protagonist for tsc he'll be the weaker end

BUT YEAH IT'S TRAGIC. it's all very tragic. i'm not looking forward to ten years of fanwork getting disproved or rendered useless, and to me, that's the most awkward part about the timing of tsc's release. i don't think there's anything anyone could do about this, or if there was any way nora sakavic could've timed it better, but i guess it's just still a little sad to think about. personally i'm not excited for the influx of post-tsc release content that suffocates the fan content made in the past ten years

[silverselfshippingchaos]

I fucking HATE how the fandom treats m.ine. it's so bad 😭

[heatmiiiiser]

Ggrrr I wish disenchantment was better. I binged it all because I'm sick somebody talk to me about this.

[the-judicial-assistants-notebook]

I feel like I generally enjoy Investigations (both of them), but I do still hold that they're primarily silly-funny games. Their emotional sections do not come close to hitting what the original trilogy and DGS achieved, and that's fine. That being said, I am quite amazed by the number of people who say Investigations has made them cry and/or is one of the best games of the franchise.

[waywardsalt]

was going through my blog trying to track down an old post i made talking abt my feelings on jolene and it was. much longer than i remembered it being. and haha yeah i still agree with it. i need to fucking. sort out my feelings on that character and that subplot

[charmac]

PLEASEE POST A NEW CHAPTER OF THE SUGAR DADDY FIC I AM ON MY HANDS AND KNEES 😭😭😭😭😭

Updating All These Nights tonight and then Sugar is next to be updated, promise promise.

[pyrriax]

ANYWHO goodnight tumblr i'll be back on the art grind tomorrow i think 🙏

[thedevotionaltour]

karen is MY special white woman. my problematic fave. because i understand why she sucks. i think in order to be allowed to be a karen fan you have to actually understand why she sucks. if you don't understand why she sucks then you're a bad karen fan i think.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[dreampearls]

myyyyy goodness. that nahida quest

[orcelito]

i hate anytime anyone says like "You should just do this one specific thing with writing bc it's the superior way of writing and everything else sucks" bc im like well what if i dont want to do that with my writing. i rather like how my writing is as it is. & then it makes me feel self conscious of my writing. bc brains are bitches i guess.