#still don't think i'd change any of it
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these two pictures are what got me into doll collecting as a hobby at the tender age of 12... i'm not that attached to the concept of "grails" bc i consider most everything i want of equal importance, to a degree, but these two are probably my biggest grails
#this same person (@yukittie on flickr btw) owned pullips which were perfect for me bc they cost less than ball-jointed dolls LMAO#and ofc pullips opened up a whole new dimension of obsession for me... i have so many memories of reading age inappropriate fiction about#random dolls on pullipfiction.com which is ofc defunct now... i can barely believe how much and how little has changed all at once#my main inspos for doll collecting were this user. gardenofmoons... maaikeh1 who ran pullip fiction... and poison girl LMAO#i watched so many pullip collection and faceup tutorials on yt during that era.... i genuinely miss it i won't lie to you#anyways diary entry over i suppose i just wanted to share. i have always loved edgy grunge camp skeevy lowbrow bad taste type stuff#and i think that started around this time + this was when i was very into imvu (the game AND the forums where i got into anime roleplaying)#ah the grooming................ well. alas#still don't think i'd change any of it
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#kirby#daily kirby#my art#digital#hal laboratory#nintendo#I read so much tamora pierce as a kid#both circle and tortall#though I was more partial to tortall overall#I haven't reread any of them in a while#but it occurred to me somewhat recently that like. I basically did a keladry irl#I just got sick before I could finish#(combat roles were closed to 'females' until literally the day I signed the paperwork in 2015)#(like I'd already chosen something else but the recruiters called me later that day like 'hey they just changed the rules')#(I wasn't The First to go into training and so on because I was partway through my last quarter of college)#(altho kel was too young to take advantage the moment the law changed it's just that no one else tried first in her case)#but idk I spent a long time kinda pretending it never happened for Complicated Brain Reasons#so I don't think it's fully sunk in yet still
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I finally finished Bugsnax
#I know Grumpus Bean has a unique tag but I don't remember what it is and I think I was gonna change their last name#so new tag time#OC: Bean (grumpus)#that'll do for now#but yes I am like three years late#mainly bc my old pc lagged to all hell and then I never redownloaded it on my new one until like yesterday#well I actually had to repurchase it for steam bc I was not gonna get that epic games launcher just for bugsnax but no big#although for some reason the game still lags but only when I am in snaxburg so the last quest was extra stressful! fighting a hoard at 2fps#I did know what was gonna happen bc I'd watched the ending#but still! it's a different experience to actually play than just watching someone who is also talking over most of it#and they didn't do most of the sidequests nor any of the DLC (tho I watched it before the DLC so they could not have ljksdgfkj)#so that was all new to me!!!#there's so many fuckin quests but I did them all!!!#except like two of them and catching that fast little coffee bastard#I will probably return to do that but for now I have to draw or I will explode#we will return to PT things but don't mind if I have snax on the brain for a bit#I have some funny moments I want to draw
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some stuff i didn't get to finish this year, mostly bc the motivation ran dry. even if i don't finish a piece i still have a blast makin the sketches
#qktalks#qkdraws#that fourth one is actually finished i just scrapped it bc . i hated it <3#but . i don't think i'm comin back to mp100 any time soon so i might as well post it instead of let it rot in my folders#i know what i'd do different now so i'm not too upset abt the ''fail'' there. if i had the motivation to redo it i would#man i did that other mob one ... ages ago#still deciding on rett's (the rabbit) design and still kinda figurin out how to draw bunny faces in a way that i like#but i plan to finish that one for sure. gotta design him ! tac can't go without his bestie#that tac doodle page was the first conception of him fun fact#and i changed the text for this post but originally it said ''Alec'' instead of Rett#alec was a placeholder name back when i wasn't even sure of his buddy's species#and ohhh man . that pkmn one. had a whole fic planned out for that one#had a whole au and teams for everybody n shit. that was so fun#here's to another year of drawing and loving every second of it
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I realize I've been so flaky with responding to asks, finishing my drawings or fics I promised, etc. I've kind of been drifting in and out of tumblr without interacting much. Real life just finally started, and I need to build up a ton of motivation and find time before I can work on a fandom project. Just wanted to say that I'm still here and still working on stuff, just slowly.
#i'm speaking to a dead fandom but still lol. thought i'd disclose.#i've reached new levels of perfectionism with my art which prevents me from drawing or posting anything at all#and my writing has really changed in the last few years to the point where i don't feel a space for myself in fandom#not sure how to explain it i just don't feel like i really have a space on ao3 or tumblr or even discord. like i don't enjoy fandom -#- much anymore or any/all of the things that most people in the fandom enjoy.#not because of any drama or discourse that happened. i just genuinely feel like an outsider.#i'm still trying to get myself to write because i have so many unfinished projects i want to post#but at this point it's like. writing to a brick wall?#i don't want to be an author who stops posting because my works don't get enough interaction or whatever. the tog fandom -#- is in a quiet period. it's gonna happen. esp with the way fandom is nowadays.#so i don't want to do that to the people who actually read and love my work#i just want to express how hard it really is to keep writing when you 1) feel you don't belong in fandom / are an outsider#and 2) have next to no interaction on your works.#maybe it would be easier to write and post if my wips weren't all long. i think that's also part of it.#so to the people who actually reblog my art and take the time to comment on my fics: genuinely i appreciate you so so much.
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went running and can report i'm still not that person
#'running is the best exercise you can do for muay thai' please don't say that#lie to me#jk it was alright. went to the park at 9pm and i've got a route now#ran some sections and walked others#so hopefully if i do it again (and again and again and again) i'll be able to keep up the running for longer#got a method of noticing change that way#which is something i'm historically quite bad at#tw for weight stuff in the rare event anyone is reading these tags#i've definitely gained muscle since starting this silly exercise habit thing#and i don't check how much i weigh because i don't care#and it would hopefully just go up anyway#but checked today for drug trial reasons and i'm 4kg less than last time? alright#again. genuinely doesn't mean much to me (anymore)#i don't think i need to lose any weight and tbh i'd rather not#but its still . ig. a sign that i've been consistent with something#which is SO hard#because i get into phases that go way too intense and then stop completely#but this is a normal amount to change by and i haven't done anything crazy#also kept it up for 6 months#so apparently i have the ability to form and keep habits now#and the weight is an indicator of that even if it was unintentional#(also for muay thai i have to be in a weight class)#(fighting is a long way off but it's at the back of my mind to pay more attention to it)#anyway. who would've thought i'd be doing this#✅️ learnt how to do habits at age 22
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i'm very interested what ppl find to be the harder shakespeare plays and which they found to be easier. bc i was googling out of curiosity and i found a sparknotes article (link if you're curious) that ranked ten of the most commonly-read plays on difficulty and it put king lear kinda down low whereas it put julius caesar pretty high because of the politics/complicated conflicts. that kind of baffled me because julius caesar was the first tragedy i read outside of the classroom and i found it very approachable; it's one i often recommend to people trying to get into shakespeare because the plot is already familiar to most ppl and you can just enjoy the poetry and how shakespeare chooses to characterize these figures. on the other hand i read king lear a few years later in my shakespeare journey, and to be honest i still kind of have a hard time with lear. maybe i just don't connect with it on some level; i'm not sure. it's not a very tightly-organized play where the action is as centered as in the other tragedies like hamlet or macbeth. that's certainly a me thing and maybe that'll change with age. but i'm always a little surprised when i find someone's experience with the plays so much different than mine.
anyway if you're reading this feel free to reblog and tag or comment which shakespeare plays you found yourself falling into most naturally and which worlds you felt like you had to force yourself into. i'm interested in what ppl feel on this subject
#i also had a hard time w love's labor's lost for comedies. idk i just didn't connect w any of the characters tho the premise is interesting#on my inexplicable third hand: once i primed myself w the historical context to get into the wars of the roses plays i found them addictive#which is funny bc before i read them i kinda NEVER thought i'd get around to the histories#bunch of dead kings i had never heard of. i was like what care is that to me?#text post#shakespeare#king lear#julius caesar#sparknotes#that article rated cymbeline as the most difficult if you were wondering. which i think is an interesting choice#bc it's not really one of the top 10 you're most likely to be presented with#i LOVED cymbeline but it was like. the 30th play i had read. something like that lol#so clearly i was quite used to shakespeare by the time i read it. i wasn't someone who needed to psyched up to read him#(although even i can have a hard time w shakespeare still... and i have only 3 plays left once i finish this last scene in m4m)#i can't say it's a good play for a beginner to start with at all. for many reasons. but cymbeline is a great play.#a midsummer night's dream was also very easy to get into and that was the first one i read on my own#isn't it one of everyone's firsts? it's magnificent i mean. it's unmatched#and it's also one of the shortest and easiest to understand with some of the most lovely lyrical poetry#troilus and cressida was hard and i don't particularly like that one... waiting to change my mind#both t&c and love's labor's are ones i only read once and never watched in any form#so maybe i should give them another shot#i HAVE given lear a couple of other shots and i still find it kind of impenetrable to be honest#it's not that i don't understand the surface level. but i can't. idk. i can't feel much about it#by shakespeare standards
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Hot take but insisting on using they/them pronouns for Xion, the LITERAL ONLY character in Kingdom Hearts who aggressively and intentionally tells people she is a girl and expresses dysphoria about being misgendered as not-a-girl, is fundamentally no different than Saix refusing to stop calling her 'it' send post.
#i genuinely don't understand why this is such a thing#the whole game is about the fact that Xion is a girl!!#that it doesn't matter that her body is different from a normal girl's or that the Organization wants her to be a boy!!#she's as close to canonically intersex and trans as it is possible to get in Kingdom Hearts!#SHE IS A GIRL!! She fights so hard to be seen as a girl the whole game!!#Her narrative payoff is that everyone in the end sees her as she sees herself and that her identity no longer changes with the viewer!!#i get the kids are looking for rep or whatever but like.... I'd like the kids to like. think. about why their instinct is to say#that Xion is less a girl than the other girls. less a girl than Namine and Kairi. why is it.#like. interrogate what bias leads one to the knee-jerk feeling that obviously Xion is not a girl but rather doesn't have gender#it is literally misgendered her she is the only character who is very clear she wants to be 'she' on purpose!#you can headcanon literally any other character in kh as non-binary so why the only one who is even remotely already trans representation...#i know why. but tough girls with short haircuts and non-standard bodies are still girls if they say they are!!#apparently recently has been my 'get publicly angry about fandom disrespect for the kh girls' era
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i got a survey to fill out about my experience of antisemitism on my university campus and while i'm cool with sharing my opinion for data purposes (the results are all anonymized anyway) i wish there had been a field somewhere to clarify that my university has a vanishingly small jewish population (could probably be counted in the low teens, if even that high, in the entire university), absolutely zero jewish life on campus like hillel or chabad or even an interfaith club, and is, in terms of social/political climate, very out of the ordinary when it comes to the majority of american schools
#i wanna talk about me#like not to dox myself but something like 80% of the student body is self ID practicing catholic#now that might only be a statistic of the undergrad population and i am no longer in undergrad#and the grad population (especially in my fields of study but also i think university wide) are more diverse than that#but also the grad population isn't the same kind of. let's say captive audience as the undergrad campus housed population yk#so like me saying in a survey that i don't experience much if any antisemitism on campus#and that there has been zero significant change in the way i have experienced campus since simchat torah#well it's true. but i feel the need to add the disclaimer that i very much attend an outlier of a school here#same w the jewish life question like i Would participate in it gladly. if it existed#but it doesn't. we just have 45869 different flavors of catholic student orgs to choose from#still though. i'd rather be here than.....basically any other school in the area rn. as a jew.
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I'm an idiot and completely forgot that the only thing I was waiting on for a Maeglin cosplay was a longsword, which... I've now had for a month ^^;
SO threw together a quick costest for the lad today. Mostly pleased, though there are a few things I want to adjust; and I need to figure out if the reason his eyeliner/eyeshadow color isn't showing up properly is because it's too dark or because of this particular lighting/phone camera setup (I decided on dark blue for him, but it's not showing here the way it is in person).
Also, with thin clothing like this, compression bra/binding doesn't cut it for me, and I wear my silicone torso to change up how the fabric drapes on me -- so I wore it today, to make sure my clothes still fit with it on (as these are just my daily clothes lmao). Aaand, since I already went to the trouble of wearing it (it is a huge pain in the ass to take on/off), I figured might as well take some fun photos too -- enjoy, under the cut! XD
. . .
[Well, there were fun photos but tumblr won't make this post visible to y'all if I include them so T_T It was literally just shirtless + sword, good grief.]
Edit: I added them via a reblog, which you guys should be able to view below!
#maeglin#silmarillion#tolkien#cosplay#hira cosplays maeglin#it is still wayyy too warm for running around on location in the torso so#prob have to wait another month or so to shoot him#but he's ready! :D#i have no idea where to hold a photoshoot for him though#i'm shooting both his parents in the woods so i think i'd prefer an indoor location for him to change it up#ideally something that recalls gondolin#but i don't think there's architecture like that around here??#we've got some old mansions that are available for booking shoots in but they're more of a dark tudor aesthetic#than what i normally picture when i think of gondolin#i guess i could take him out to the mountains; do a '10 photos taken before disaster' shoot lmao#no but if any of you have ideas/suggestions for an appropriate location i'm all ears!#drop it in a comment; reblog tags; ask; dm; whatever :D
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#tw vent i guess??#came here just to post smth that i'm most probably gonna delete later then leave#but aughhhh last week has been SO bad i really really needed to get it off my chest#had the final boss of a sick victorian child episode for like two weeks AND tons of college stuff to do-#-AND a test on a subject that i'm horrible at (and that i'm gonna fail fs)#AND i was supposed to get a septum which is something that i'd been looking forward to for literal YEARS#but upon telling my parents about it (cause they're kinda strict and ig they would like to know) i changed my mind#cause my mom took it SO personally.... like it was HER face not mine?🤨 but hey!#and although i had the decency to at the very least let her know that i was getting a piercing (which wasn't necessary for me to do but-#-i did it anyway out of consideration for her)#she has the fucking SPINE to tell me how i could do whatever the fuck i wanted if i cared more about getting it than about her opinion-#-but she would always think it was disgusting and that i had no right to get angry at her if she didn't look me in the face or#wanted to walk or be with me cause it'd make her embarrassed to be with me in public if i had that shit on my face.#and it hurts a lot not just bc of the fuckass piercing. but bc my parents (esp my mom) always react like this whenever i make a little-#-change on my appearanceor cut my hair or buy oversized clothes or whateverand like#if she's gonna be soooo hurt when i get a tiny piece of metal on my face. how is she gonna react when i tell her i want to get tattoos.#start taking hormones. change my name. get top and bottom surgery. be completely changed physically.#is she gonna die is the world gonna end. is she just going to stop talking to me forever.#because a piercing is not just a decoration. to me right now it's an extension of the changes i want to undergo on my body.#it's a step forward to looking the way i want too look#so a rejection to any change i do on my body feels like an indirect rejection to be being trans. and the fact that they're unaware of#just how deep their rejection cuts (bc i'm not out) makes me even angrier at them.#and upon the realization that if i ever came out to my mom (and the rest of my family too tbh) she would react *exactly* like this.#well. i did not take that very well.#wasn't very demure of her to say all that. not very mindful not very cutesy :/#also been sh-ing more bc if this and ughhh what a shit week. hope this one's better#also. i decided i'm still gonna get a septum this year. don't know when but fuck all that. it's gonna bother them all the same#no matter what time of the year i get it done. or if i do it in a year or two or five. so who gives a shit.#anyway. gonna delete later probably#📎
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it sucks to have no one to talk about the big emotions to because they're either too close to you or too far away... i simply don't know how to cope with real life and i don't know how people do
#my guess is everyone fakes it until they die and they don't center their entire lives on negative emotions and thought patterns but that's#just a guess LMAO#i think i lost the genetic lottery and not bc i'm ugly or anything like that like i could care less whether i'm seen as ugly or pretty atp#but just like. mentally. i wasn't given a great hand... which sucks because otherwise i think my family is fine but we all wind each other#up in the worst ways and i know all that it would take to change my current horrible ugly thought patterns is to slowly change my life#likeeee trust me... i'm trying... but it's so so hard when you feel grief for every little change#which is why i think i'm not equipped for real life. imagine what'll happen when the ppl i love the most leave me. bc i always imagine it#which is stupid because i know it's because they're all i have! my life is so small the only thing that exists within it is my loved ones!#they would suffocate under the weight of my love for them if i was able to show it better lmao :/ probably good that i can't bc i'd be in#tears near-constantly if so. and i hate crying in front of people#i mean i hate crying period which is totally great for my emotional regulation i assure you#idk... i know the world isn't 'supposed' to be easy#that's a concept our entire universe doesn't understand#the only things that are real are life and death and how you get from one to the other#but. still. i just wish i didn't have such a hard to being alive#ik i complain abt this shit everyday LMAO but it's hard not to when you have nothing else to think about#tbh i get why people work and have families and stuff now. when you have all that practical stuff to think about#you don't have time to be constantly in your head about every horrible possibility. unless of course you're me who couldn't get out#of my own head even when i had a full-time job... is there any actual way to get better? sometimes i feel like it's a myth
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I really am so sad I don't like isat. The themeing was very good
#isat critical#like the ''we must be prepared for the destruction change will bring'' shit came back so hard at the end#specifically with loop context/destroying themself to become a star. to become loop#and the fact that when siffrin deviated from the script. finally changed the way he performed his play (act 5)#that's when it broke#and he had to ''destroy'' his friends to do it. In a way. When all he knew how to do was fight/snapped#and it's like. of COURSE loop is how siffrin was able to escape. Because escaping the loop meant siffrin had to save/love themself#value their own life and not just their friend's#to realize that they couldn't do it on their own. that they needed their friends to help them out of it. they needed support#that being loved was more than saying the right thing or doing the right quest#isat is so strong structurally/thematically/plot-wise and I personally despise it comedically/character/dialogue writing-wise#and the whole game is dialogue. like isat is the most conflicting experience I've had in a while#Where I hate actually reading the dialogue and I don't like the character writing but I love thinking about it's themes. like hello#that sucks i'd rather have it just be one or the other#*aaravos voice* you must live life in the grey#Like the king and siffrin foil is my beloved. And I absolutely adore how the King's story was ended.#But I dislike siffrin as a character and I also hate most of the game's execution#like every emotional beat is made anticlimactic by the lack of subtext and the constant repetition#(literally laughed out loud at ''my house my country my HOME!'' like we said the same thing 3 times babe. the whole game is like this)#isat has a huge case of ''we wanted conflict but didn't give characters any real flaws to be able to do it''#idk. Everyone repeated over and over that they don't touch siffrin because he's uncomfortable with it. Over and over.#And yet he's still like. ''It's because Isa finds you disgusting'' Huh. Idk if we did the work for Siffrin to come to that conclusion#Like literally Isa never does anything to even imply that. All he's ever done is sing Sif's praises. makes me feel crazy#Like ''oh he views everyone else as just a character!! a pawn!'' except no he doesn't. he barely did in act 5#and even in act 5 he's horrified at how he treated odile. like. we did not commit to that. I got sad lukewarm flowey#Do not even get me started on odile's ''I think it's so cute you trapped yourself in time and went crazy because you love us''. Girl#Like no we can. We can commit. Siffrin did bad things and going crazy was bad. Odile wasn't wrong to be upset.#Like why not 'That was terrible of you to say. But I won't leave you—you still love people who make mistakes- because what else is there?'#like we got so close with the worst loop being the permanent loop. Siffrin is still loved no matter what. But idk. Felt brushed off#oh isat...you strange being...
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On Ashrah/Reptile and Kuai Liang/Harumi
I've noticed that most people feel like these two pairings need more backstory to make sense. As much as I enjoy the story overall... I agree. I feel like if they were fleshed out a bit more (What drew Reptile to Ashrah so soon after his family's death? We know how Kuai Liang felt, but what did Harumi find attractive about him?), more people would be open to them. The potential is there, but maybe the NRS writers weren't given the opportunity to spend much time developing these ships.
I actually have a Kuai Liang/Harumi fic that I've been working on, and eventually I'd like to write one for Ashrah/Reptile, too. Again, the potential is there. I feel like imagining the scope of what their motives could be will help me accept NRS's decisions more.
Anyways, I hope to start posting the first fanfic on here soon!
#mortal kombat#ashrah#reptile#kuai liang#harumi#mk1#the writers took a decent amount of creative liberties with this game#but i genuinely enjoyed a lot of the changes#yes it's different from any mortal kombat game i've played#but i think that's what i love about it at the same time#i still don't blame anyone who doesn't care for it because the shift in tone for this one was especially drastic#maybe i'm too quick to accept it and need to be more critical/have better standards lmao#i'd just like to keep faith in these writers#i'm sure they knew the risks and decided to take the jump anyways#it's difficult to take an iconic video game precious to several generations and reinvent it without compromising something of its origin#ANYWAYS all this to say i'll be posting a fic on here soon lmao#sorry for the tangent#and again no hate to anyone who still isn't on board with these ships
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Some intersex people genuinely don't want to be included but the majority of us want to be. It's actually really difficult to be in queer spaces that consistently enforce sex binaries, never use the updated progress flag with us, and never have intersex flags.
Often the idea that we don't want to be included comes from intersexists who want us to remain as "disorders of sexual development" (outdated offensive term). It's unfortunate that this idea permeates the queer community so much.
You can see photos from this intersex organization using the pride flag, if you need more than an anon's word. https://interactadvocates.org/#
Thanks for the information!
I didn't know "disorders of sex development" was considered outdated and offensive, I thought it was actually a modern (more formal?) alternative to "intersex". Unless that was "differences of sex development"? (I almost tagged it on the original post but I wasn't sure what the term was.) Ah, I found more information on the link (x). Thanks for the website, very helpful!
This subpage is a great source on intersex people wanting to be included! It's a bit more ambivalent than I expected - combined with this anon's word and my previous impressions it seems like there are still a significant amount of intersex people who don't want to be a part of the queer community, but the ones who do want to be included would much prefer the queer community open its arms. So it seems to me the best course is to do so and the intersex people who want to can individually distance themselves (my impression is most people of that group more want to be personally distanced than think 'I' should never be a part of 'LGBTQA') and only partake in intersex communities.
We recommend adding intersex to your organization’s LGBTQIA+ acronym only once you have intersex leadership, consultation and/or resources. Intersex people have very specific needs, just like each letter of the acronym.
This line in particular stood out to me because they only provide guidance for what organizations should do... I feel like most times when the decision is being made whether or not to use the intersex progress flag, it's individuals and small groups like my GSA making posts, selling merch, decorating a space, etc. that aren't serving any needs besides community for anyone... I guess I already came to the conclusion to include by default though? (Honestly this page feels just barely strong enough for me to send to anyone if this question comes up in the future, so if anyone has any more sources do send in more anons!)
Honestly I was hoping for something like "our survey of as many intersex forums/organizations/people as possible found that 80% of intersex people want to be included in 'LGBTQIA', pride events/orgs, and the progress pride flag" --that this had been "laid to rest" and I could just tell my friend straight "no, intersex people want to be included now"-- , but of course I shouldn't expect things to be too simple haha, people & groups are nuanced and nuance comes in the form of caveats. At least I feel much more informed now!
#even if i'm informed to the same 'it's complicated' haha#i feel like the intersex flag on its own is quite common pride merch tho?#the times i can think of when i didn't see it also didn't have any aspec flags#there is a certain amount of minority where i feel like i'd be doing wrong by all others to continue to emphasize them...#probably a little OVER 80% tho that's still 2 in 10 - 1 in 5#sorry if this is difficult to read i haven't really written anything all week so i think i have word buildup#asks#intersex#anon#I said this#editing here bc i deleted my original post but gosh people have gotten so virtiolic about this the past few days?#and like idk i feel like it's weird to blame perisex people for trying to be mindful of intersex feelings based off outdated info from#queer community authorities (i believe i learned 'some intersex ppl don't want to be included' from ash hardell) that were otherwise#supporting intersex ppl. like. first of all i'm still under the impression times have changed in the intersex mood and#second of all how are we suppoed to know thy're lying if they were lying?? like just HOW was i suppoesd to know that
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Me panicking because i have 9 missed calls and 5 emails talking about my absence and how "a colleague could take over for me" vs. Me knowing it's really not that important no matter how pushy a client is and that on top of it I'm underpaid and have way to much overtime so i shouldn't even care
#i have 14 hours overtime#collected within 2 weeks lol#you know how it's apparently mandatory for companies in germany to have a way track employees working time? yeah we're#the only company in the whole fucking country who doesn't do that (obviously that's not true there's probably plenty more but it's#still not right.) so we don't get paid overtime nor does it get acknowledged in any way#so technically we're not allowed to even it out (which most people try to do anyway because tf do they think they are asking us to work for#free) but I'm dedicated to not collect any more unpaid working hours so i take the liberty to leave work early this week#so today i left at 12pm (and then got home 4 hours later because another person decided to kill themselves by train. they should call me#first. or anyone else taking the train. I'm sure there'd be plenty of volunteers to do the killing if it means not another miserable day#stuck in a disgusting train). and i logged in again at 6pm today to see if i have anything important messages (stupid i know)#and i saw the missed calls and that there had been an email exchange with me in the cc talking about the 'changes' made in one of the#articles and that someone else could do that for me since i couldn't be reached and at first i felt ashamed and scared#but now it's honestly just pissing me off. that asshole can't write emails and communicate requests like normal people can he#he already called me last week about something completely stupid and acts like his matters are the most important shit in the world#fuck you if you can't wait one day you should have sent this a month earlier because i won't stay online everyday#just to see if there might be an 'important' change you want me to make Immediately. bitch.#also missed two calls from my colleague but she didn't send any messages about what she wanted so i asked her because i felt bad for not#being online and turns out she wanted Nothing. just hear how i was. JUST TEXT ME THEN???? I HATE IT HERE FUCK YOU#seriously i don't get paid enough for this to bother me so much. she probably gets 12-15€ more than me per hour#of course she doesn't care about her overtime as much as i do. i get minimum wage which is less than what I'd get if i still worked at uni#as a student assistant so fuck this shit it's really not important or worth it. from now on i'll only put in minimum effort too#sorry got carried away. rant over now i guess#void screams#work stuff
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