#still don’t know which one to use for Kath lol | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

willowistic22 · 4 years ago

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Red (Redfinch)

Despite their breakup, Albert still wanted to go see Finch perform in one of his concerts when Race asked him if he wanted to come. This is the perfect chance for them to talk things out again but words aren’t cooperating for either of them. With that, Finch decides to triy a different form of communication.

Words : 5233

Part : -

Warnings : Alcohol, cursing, cigarettes, angst in general

A/N : Woah that’s a crazy word count uhh,,,, hi i’m back with another fic. Another redfinch and for that we stan lol (well idk maybe yall are annoyed by all these redfinch fics but yknow what? i’m thriving off of it) But fr I’ll eventually get into writing other ships but for now have one more redfinch combined with another tswift songs (as you do) this time with Red. Wow we are so surprised who would have thought of redfinch being associated with the song red no we aren’t surprise :D This one specifically exists in my bandsies au. you don’t need to read that first to understand this (i think?) but it wouldn’t hurt if you checked that out as well:) Tbh i can’t decide whether i love it or hate it but at least i like it enough to post it. N ee wayysss enjoy!!

His brain is screaming about how much Albert shouldn’t be doing this. Comprising a list of cons that goes on forever. And although he thinks all of the cons his brain had written is logical, that one pro his heart wrote beside the long list was all it took for Al to say yes. All the cons will be worth suffering through if he finally gets to see Finch again. And maybe it’s for the better since he’s not doing well by distancing himself from the boy.

Unfortunately, the world isn’t black and white. Meaning that even if he did choose to follow what his heart wants, all the horrible feelings will still be there. And with every step he takes, inching closer to the entrance of the building, he’s getting even more terrified by the second. Thankfully, the line for the entrance is going pretty slow which gives time for Albert to calm down.

But it’s not helping. The line is crowded and full of fans, talking excitedly about the band’s awaiting concert inside. For some odd reason, he can only hear the conversations between fans that contain one specific name. He doesn’t hear anyone mentioning Romeo, Elmer, or Jojo’s name. Not even Crutchie, who he’s been told to be the fans’ favorite. Just the name Finch, being repeated all around him. With adoration and excitement lacing the name. The line is delaying the inevitable and the people around him makes him a bit overwhelmed.

“We can still turn around if you want. I’m sure they’ll find a way to give us a refund”

If he’s actually being honest, it was his best friend that got him to come. Race returned to their shared apartment a few weeks ago and rushed to ask Albert if he wanted to go see their friends performing tonight. Race knows about Al and Finch’s break up but it’s worth asking him first. And to his surprise, he said yes.

“No, it’s fine” Albert replied, “I’m fine”

“You’re picking your pimples right now”

“So?”

“It’s one of your nervous habits”

That piece of information really caught Al off guard. He didn’t think a tiny random fact about himself would actually corner him the way Race is doing now. Eyeing Albert through his glasses and raising his eyebrows despite his forehead being mostly covered by his beanie.

“Well… I-” Albert tried to come up with bullshit as fast as he could, “I like to do it on purpose too, alright?! My fingers just... get a little itchy!”

He slowly puts his hands down from previously reaching up to pick his face. And the line is still going slow, one step at a time. It’s not doing any favors for Al.

“Dude, it’s alright if you’re not ready to see him” Race continued, “It takes time, I get it”

“Race, I’ll be fine! How many more times do I have to tell you?” Albert argued, which finally made Race back down. And to make sure it’s no longer gonna be brought up, Al changes the subject, “By the way, where’s Specs and Mike? You said they’re watching too”

“They’re already backstage with the others for... obvious reasons” Race answered casually, catching on to Albert's intentions to change the subject. “So is Kath, by the way. We’ll meet her in there though”

To that, Albert simply nods. His jittery movements turn into rocking his body on the ball of his feet while digging his lips with his teeth. Race tries to pretend he doesn’t notice, but he does. Albert knows he does. Although he’s glad he’s not bringing it up because it might make it worse.

He’d be lucky to know that he’s not the only one panicking over this. In the dressing room, an aggravated Finch throws his phone to the cushion of the couch after sending the last text to his friend Race. It sounds unlawful for Race to be ‘secretly updating’ Finch on how Albert is actually doing because it’s obviously something Albert doesn’t want to directly tell his ex.

Finch groans, placing his elbow on his armchair to support his head. The room is spinning in his view and he wishes it all to stop. Taking deep and long breaths to stabilize his shaky limbs. A little prayer starts playing in his heart, it follows the tempo of his fast heartbeat.

“He’s here, isn’t he?”

Finch opens his eyes and looks up to meet his bandmate sitting on the couch across from him. He hadn’t even been talking for a good hour because he’s too fixated with the first text Race sent him when he and Al first started making their way to the concert.

“Yeah, he’s in line” Finch replied, looking up to the blond boy who’s holding his bass.

“How are they not being mobbed?” Another voice rang. This time it’s not coming from one of Finch’s bandmates. It’s coming from Race and Albert’s bandmate, sitting next to the shortest member of Finch’s band on the couch.

Specs only ask that because their two bands have a long connecting history and their fanbase tends to be sort of the same in a way. With Specs dating Romeo and Mike dating Jojo, Race and Albert are bound to be recognized and mobbed by at least a few fans. Especially seeing that Albert is Finch’s former lover, although the fans know that as a rumor since the two never publicly addressed it.

“I’m assuming they’re wearing a lot of shit to cover their faces” Another answered, the other VIP of the show alongside Specs, Mike. He’s twirling his drink in his hand while the other keeps Jojo cuddled close to him, “I mean, Al’s head is really fucking bright!”

With the mention of that specific name, Finch sulks back in his armchair with a groan. He covers his face with his hands, hoping it’d make the world just stop for one second. He could hear a loud clean slap echoing the room, followed by overlaps of whispered scolding. If he had to guess, it was Mike who was the one getting slapped and scolded.

“This is a disaster…” Finch exclaimed to himself, still not lifting his face up.

“It doesn’t have to be unless you make it like that” this time a feminine voice spoke up. A voice he recognized to belong to Kath.

Finch hears footsteps approaching him. He feels the motion of someone softly kneeling down in front of him. His hands were gently pried open and he was met with Kath’s friendly smile.

“It takes time, but you gotta trust the process”

It’s not necessarily the words he needed to hear right now, but it still warms his heart to hear his friend still being there for him despite the sticky situation he has gotten them into.

Everything would’ve been just fine if Finch hadn’t been so pushy and upset over Albert’s decision. He was the one that decided to put his music career on hold to go get that engineering degree, which frankly seems pretty useless. Finch was so dirty for pulling the ‘you’re being selfish’ card at him when it’s not even his band at all. Race, Specs, Mike, Ike, and even their manager Denton were very supportive about his decision to get that degree. Heck, all their friends were! But not Finch. His boyfriend at the time. He argued like he secretly knew how the others felt about Al leaving when really there aren’t any secret feelings for him to know. All his arguments came from his own feelings.

However, he knows Albert’s ‘own decision’ was secretly coated by his father’s persuasive words. The whole ‘just in case the music career doesn’t work out’ argument was basically the copy and pasted words from his father. They both know it. Despite the arguments, it still seemed that Al was determined to fully focus on college anyways. Instead of following his fellow musician friends’ college path by getting a degree in the non-lecture-hall way, he followed his father’s words and actually attended his college classes in a proper campus.

In the moment, Finch was just too focused on Albert leaving. Maybe he was the one being selfish. He had only realize now that most of his arguments were because he didn’t want Albert to go. It’s too late now, since the last time they saw each other was when Al slammed the door of their apartment one last time with all his stuff and a plane ticket to Seattle. At that point, Finch was finally tired of all the arguing and told him that if this was his plan then he’s on his own.

The tears that came after were filled with sorrow and regret. Sorrowful because he missed him. Regretful because he only realized then that there was no valid reason for Finch to lash out in the first place other than for his own needs. The feeling is still present to this moment. And it’s currently the strongest right before a show because he knows he’s gonna be in the crowd.

“Look, we’ll let ya drown out your feelings with some booze later” Crutchie finally said, “But right now we got a show”

The band was all getting up from where they were seated, bringing whatever they needed to the stage. Crutchie gets some help from Jojo to bring his Bass till he properly sits on the stool on stage. But Finch stays perfectly still, holding Kath’s hand as if his life depends on it.

“I know I should talk to ‘im, Kath” Finch finally said, slowly joining the others in standing up. Kathrine follows along, eyes still fixed to her friend, “But… I can’t. I wouldn’t know what to say to him”

“Then don’t talk” Mike suddenly inserts himself in their little conversation. He gets up and approaches the two, “Sing him the new single”

“You’re fucking insane, Mike!” Katherine instantly snapped.

“Alright, your mouth will be legally sealed shut till the end of the concert” Specs joins them only to drag Mike away. There were some protests from the boy, but it was totally shut down by everyone else in the room.

“No, wait. He’s got a point” Finch suddenly exclaimed, which quickly got the whole room to freeze in time.

He looks at his bandmates, all standing by the doorway ready to kill the concert. A half confident smile appears on his face and he says, “Let’s sing that single”

The concert is held in a bar like-venue with multiple floors, slowly being filled to the brim by excited fans. Their excitement bounces off the walls of the venue, creating an ecstatic kind of environment despite the tight space. The concert is going to start any minute now and while the fans surrounding him are shaking in excitement, Albert is shaking in a nervous fit.

“Still okay there, Al?”

Albert looked to his side, seeing his good friend Kathrine looking up to meet his eyes with concern. She had just joined the boys in the midst of the crowd after hanging out behind the stage with the band.

“What? Yeah, I’m okay” He replied, “What makes you think I’m not?”

“You’re squeezing my hand a little too tight”

Al had only realized he’s been holding Kath’s hand just now. His brain was too focused on his fears about meeting Finch again to the point that he hasn’t been paying attention to his surroundings. He gets bashful all of a sudden, cheeks going a bit warm, harshly pulling away from her grasp.

“It’s okay, you can hold my hand if you want,” Katherine said gently.

“Kath, I’m fine!” Albert said, “Why won’t you and Race believe me?”

“Because we know it’s utter bullshit”

The pair looked back towards the crowd behind them where the familiar voice originated from. There, Race struggles through a sea of people with two drinks in hand. Oddly enough, he still seems to stand the heat despite still wearing his face disguise. A white cotton mask, black-framed glasses, and a grey beanie mostly providing cover for his blond curls. While Al, seeing that the venue is pretty dark and speculations has led him to believe that the fans would be focused on the concert rather than the people attending it, had already put away his mask. However, his fears still made him wear his snapback and grey-framed glasses just in case.

Albert takes his rightful drink, and with a free hand, Race takes off his own mask and stuffs it in his pockets. He complains about the stuffiness from wearing the mask all while doing so, which made Kath laugh. It appears the Albert-scolding has been forgotten for the time being, as Kath and Race starts engaging in their own conversation, which Al doesn’t mind because he’d much like to down his beer quickly.

And then the concert finally starts.

An exciting intro starts playing as the band enters the stage. The wild crowd welcoming the band is deafening to Albert’s ear. Time freezes and everything in between fades away. All he sees is Finch, up on stage wearing a smile brighter than the lighting of the venue itself. He’s using his old dark green guitar. The same one he uses when he’s writing songs in bed or when he just feels like strumming the strings. Albert remembers the memoirs of all the guitar string scars he had earned throughout the years of knowing him. Some of them were even caused by Albert himself.

Lucky that Finch hasn’t noticed Albert has been staring at him the whole time. He hasn’t taken his eyes off of the boy since the start of the first song, shimmering under the spotlight with amazing vocals. Laughing about at his fellow bandmates’ antics on stage. Oh, that laugh. It gives him butterflies in his stomach like it was the first time hearing it.

He can feel two pairs of familiar eyes on him. But he’s too far gone to care. Albert really did make a big mistake for letting Finch go that easy. Because at the end of his previous college days, he still loves him and misses him dearly. His little Finchy. It doesn’t matter to Al anymore if Race and Katherine are eyeing him with sorrow or the whole world were to look at him weirdly for fixating his own eyes towards the beautiful boy on stage. He was his beautiful boy. Good lord, does he long to see the days when he got to call Finch his.

“Holy shit, I fucked up” Albert muttered under his breath, only Kath and Race could hear it, “I should’ve never had left”

His friends were definitely not expecting Albert to verbally exclaim his regret. They already knew from the start despite the redhead’s previous denials. But hearing him say it just makes it all more real. Even Albert himself was hit by a truck of reality just by loudly announcing it.

“Well, now you know” Katherine started, gentle voice on the same volume as his own despite the volume of their current surroundings being incredibly loud, “Go tell him that after the show”

“I can’t. I shouldn’t” Albert replied, fully turning away from the stage to properly look at his friends. A glint of sorrow and desperation flashes before his face, “I might make things worse!”

“Well, you’ll never know till you try” Race said, sounding a little hesitant at the start. He offered a warm smile at his friend and a hand on his shoulder, since there isn’t much he could do in the moment.

With a heavy sigh, Albert turns back towards the stage only to witness the biggest surprise of his life. Finch looked back. Straight into Albert’s eyes, it pierced right through to get his heart thumping loudly in his ears. He just realized the song the band was previously playing had ended and they were waiting for the fans to quiet down. While Romeo playfully over-dramatize his thank you’s to the crowd and gets scolded by Elmer and Crutchie, Finch was continuously staring at Albert. The hands that were previously used to play with his guitar hang idly because his center of attention wasn’t at his instrument right now.

It might just be some form of hallucination Al retained from the high, but Finch seemed to be smiling at him a little. Just a little curve at the end of his lips while he’s still staring back.

Albert doesn’t know how to interpret this other than to just stare back. Deep down, his heart is flipping in all kinds of ways and his thought process is no longer comprehensible. He’s trying to read the other boy’s emotions but it’s too neutral to tell. Other than the fact that he’s smiling a little at him but that still doesn’t give him a proper answer.

Eventually Finch becomes the first one to look away, seeing that the audience had settled down for the band. Albert’s eyes were still glued to Finch, retaining his focus back to the concert. He opens his mouth for a moment to say something into his microphone, although he unexpectedly stopped. The flow of words seemed to cut short. He saved himself by pulling himself away from the microphone up front and towards the rest of his bandmates. Judging from the body language, they seem to be whispering.

“What’s happening?” Albert whispered, more to himself rather than to his friends.

“I’m not sure…” Race replied, taking a step closer to where Al is standing.

The band kept the discussion short and quickly got back to their places. Finch seems to hesitate the second time he opens his mouth to speak. But this time, he gets the words out.

“Uhh… sorry ‘bout that. I uhh… I just got the urge to go a bit out of our fixed setlist and uhh… hope you guys don’t mind” Finch explained with a little giggle at the end. The crowd couldn’t care less and cheered on. Finch smile widens at the agreement, “We thought we’d give ya an early access to our newest single that hasn’t been released yet”

A euphoric feeling passed through the crowd as the cheering got louder. It baffled Finch so much that he laughed into his mic.

“Oh my god, they’re actually doing it” Katherine commented under her breath.

But Al’s ears were sharp enough to catch it. He snaps his head around to face the girl behind him, “Do what?”

Katherine was rendered speechless to that question, despite obviously knowing what’s going on. Albert turns to Race but he has no idea. He finally turns back to the stage where Finch’s gaze was already waiting to be returned by Al himself.

Without breaking the gaze, Finch speaks into the mic with a little smile, “It’s called ‘Red’”

It was Albert’s turn to be speechless. He had no knowledge of a new single since he’s mostly been staying away from his ex’s social media for the sole purpose of moving on, which he had failed miserably. And none of his friends had told him anything about a single that’s title was a secret language only Finch and Albert share, littered with all sorts of vintage romance.

“Holy shit…” Race exclaimed, “...I had no idea they were gonna play this song”

The opening of the song starts with Jojo lightly plucking a few strings of his acoustic guitar. The crowd goes wild once again, energy bouncing off one wall to the other.

“Loving him is like driving a new Maserati down a dead end street

Faster than the wind, passionate as sin, ending so suddenly”

Crutchie sang the first line smoothly. At this point the other’s had joined in with their instrument. Finch fully ignoring the crowd and focused on looking at Al. Those blue eyes are trying to send a message to Albert and it’s being coded with the song they’re currently playing.

The song had carried on till it reached the chorus. All the instruments peaked at that moment and collaborated with each other to create a very euphoric sound. The crowd jumps along to the beat of the song along with a loud cheering, obviously enjoying the tune they have yet to listen to. Some were holding up cameras to capture this moment, most likely to later share it with the fans that didn’t get the chance to witness it live.

At this point, Finch had turned his face away from Al. There was a troubling look in his expression but it was quickly covered by closing his eyes as if he’s trying to concentrate on singing the chorus with the others. But Al is no fool. He knows that look on Finch’s face is when he’s trying to avoid something, and that something is him.

“Losing him was blue, like I'd never known

Missing him was dark gray, all alone

Forgetting him was like trying to know

Somebody you never met

But loving him was red”

The words moved something in Al. It was written in a way Albert recognized it to be Finch’s writing style. Every single part of the song. From the melody, the chord progression, even the lyrics. Especially the lyrics.

“Fighting with him was like trying to solve a crossword

And realizing there's no right answer

Regretting him was like wishing you never found out

That love could be that strong”

As Finch harmonized that line with Jojo, he stole a little sad side glance at Albert. The song returns to the chorus once again, Finch gets dragged with the beat and lightly moves his body along.

Albert gets captivated along with the music. He can feel the corner of his lips slightly rising up, which is pretty ironic seeing that Finch is singing a breakup song about them. Maybe because he’s relieved to hear Finch sing about how he’s not fully over him. Or maybe it’s because he gets to see Finch embracing the break up, which could potentially mean that he’s okay with it. But whatever it is, he’s happy seeing Finch like this. Or just seeing him in general.

“Remembering him comes in flashbacks and echoes

Tell myself it's time now gotta let go

But moving on from him is impossible

When I still see it all in my head”

The chord progression’s pattern slightly changed. Finch sings his line into the microphone, closing his eyes as if to soak up all the intoxicating energy he gets from the crowd. Of people flailing their hands into the sky and a loud chorus of undecipherable shouting. But at the last line, he steals a proper glance back at Albert.

“In burning red”

The lyrics really says it all. There’s no more hidden message that Albert needs to decipher, as it's being presented right in front of him.

Finch takes over the next part of the song, shredding his guitar which makes the crowd go wild. At the moment, it looks like he’s feeling himself. Moving along with the motion of his fingers that creates each note.

“Oh, losing him was blue, like I'd never known

Missing him was dark gray, all alone

Forgetting him was like trying to know

Somebody you never met

'Cause loving him was red”

The song is supposed to be a punch to Albert’s guts, and yet he finds himself laughing at it. He catches a glimpse of Finch’s eyes, sneaking its way to look back at Albert every so often. And this time, he wears a smile while jumping along to the song. And it made Al smile back.

“His love was like driving a new Maserati down a dead end street”

As the song ended, the fans went wild. The look on Finch’s face seems satisfied at the success of the single they have yet been released to the world, shining at the sight of a hype crowd. He steals one last glance at Albert with a little smile on his face. Albert would dare to say he’s being a bit shy. To that, Albert smiles back with a disbelief laugh escaping his lips before Finch pulls his gaze away from the other boy.

After playing a few more songs, the concert ended. There was only one thing in Albert’s mind, which was talking to Finch. Race and Albert quickly put their disguise back on before the crowd had realized who they were as they exited the venue. The three stay behind as the venue gets emptied, Race and Katherine making quick work with their fingers on their phones to contact their friends backstage.

Jojo was the first to respond to either of them. He said that Finch is smoking behind the venue alone. One could only assume that he’s not in his best state after spontaneously choosing to sing that single. But Jojo assured them that he’s still good to talk to. Crutchie then responded, saying that Specs and Mike can pick them up to get them into the backstage.

It didn’t take them long, but Albert wasn’t keen on seeing the others right now. After being pointed towards the back door, Albert was already off. Adrenaline coursing through his veins as he makes quick steps towards it.

He gently opens the door, to avoid surprising the boy in case he was nearby. Albert steps out to a parking lot, open-spaced with another parking lot above it as its roof. At a first glance it was completely empty, only a few lights turned on to keep the area lit. His eyes gandered even further and spotted the boy he was looking for, back facing Al and his body leaning on metal bars as he enjoyed the nightlife of the city.

Albert took a deep breath to calm his adrenaline, slowing down his walking pace. The area is eerily quiet. Only a few things that can be heard: his footsteps, his thumping heart, and the sounds coming from the streets three stories below them. With every step closer, he slowly unraveled his makeshift disguise. Shoving his mask and glasses in the pockets of his jeans but left the snapback on.

“‘Loving him was red’” Albert said to catch Finch’s attention, “Did you mean it to be that obvious?”

Finch didn’t fully turn his head around, only halfway so Al can see the little grin of amusement forming on his face. A little chuckle escaped his lips, causing his chest to pulse along before he continued, “Not really. But it has a nice ring to it”

Albert takes a few steps closer towards the metal bars, leaning his body on it like what Finch is doing. Now he can clearly see the half burnt cigarette on Finch’s hand. Al tries to make eye contact with him, but Finch is purposely turning his head the other way and giving Albert his head full of blond curls.

“You came back” Finch suddenly said, voice hushed and low.

“Of course I came back” Albert replied, “You didn’t think I’d fully leave like that, did’ja?”

“Well, no. It’s just that you seemed so hellbent on going to college”

Albert slowly nods at that, moving his gaze towards the streets below like the other boy. They sit in the silence for a few minutes. Hearing different vehicles pass by the street below them and honking from the distance.

“Finch, I’m so sorry I left ya like that” Albert suddenly started, fully turning his face towards him. He couldn’t find a way to word it and so he resorted to just telling him the truth. Finch stays quiet to let him continue, “I was an idiot to let ya go that easily and all because I was selfish”

“You weren’t actually being selfish” Finch said, smiling a little at his words, “You did it because you wanted to. And it wasn’t hurting anyone anyways”

“It did. It hurt you”

Finch turns his head towards Albert. Now their eyes are looking into each other closer than before. The closest they’ve ever been since their breakup. A mixture of unsaid emotions made the gaze feel so intimate and it terrifies Al a bit.

“I hurt myself trying to get you to stay” Finch said softly. His next words got stuck in his throat. He gives his brain a few seconds to focus with a sigh out of his mouth and dragging his gaze away from Al, “I knew you never wanted to get that engineering degree in the first place which is another reason I didn’t want you to go. But at the end of the day, it was your decision to make and not mine. I lashed out on you and said you were selfish but… I was the one that was being selfish”

Finch turns his eyes back towards Al, his face looks more sorrowful than before, “I’m sorry”

A small smile formed on Al’s face, tilting his head to the side by a few inches, “It ain’t your fault for knowing me more than I know myself”

They leave the conversation at that for the time being. Letting the streets below fill the void of their silence. Both boys focusing their gaze towards the view they got from this height they’re on again. Finch and Albert left speechless at each other’s words.

Albert’s hands unconsciously reach up to his forehead, itching to pick a pimple like earlier. His next words almost got stuck in his throat but he was able to pull through just enough to get to his point, “Well, at the end of the day we uhh… we both fucked up. Fucked our relationship, that’s for sure-”

“Stop picking on your pimples, Al” Finch casually said. The surprise look on Al’s face got Finch to side eye him with a giggle.

Al pulled his fingers away, stuttering in his movements but still continued on his words with more confidence, “What I’m trying to say is… I want to try again as long as you’re willing to”

There was a good few seconds of silence that Finch used to just stare at him. Albert could only wonder what he’s thinking about inside that head, “So we just… what? Forget the breakup ever happened? Move back in together? You know I can’t just do that, right?”

“That’s not what I mean. We don’t need to rush things. I know you can’t do that” Albert said, “Just… let me start by making it up to you? Whatever you want. Just name it”

Finch didn’t respond instantly, letting the silence between them linger for a few more minutes. But it’s deeply agonizing to Albert’s ears. A blank space of two eyes locked in a gaze, and one is obviously dying to get out of it.

“Please, say something” Albert begged. Hands suddenly reaching back up to his face to pick on his pimples again.

With a free hand, Finch reaches towards Al’s hand on his face. He pulls it down to the bars, holding it in place to make sure it doesn’t repeat its mistakes again. The grip was firm, but warm and calming to Albert’s soul. It made him go blank for a good few seconds from being so touch deprived of Finch’s soft hands. He retains his sense of reality when their eyes finally meet again.

With a little smile forming on Finch’s face, he finally answers, “I’d like that very much”

#random writing #newsies #redfinch #redfinch newsies #albert dasilva #albert newsies #finch cortez #finch newsies #tw cursing #tw alcohol #tw cigarettes #tw angst #validate me pls and thanku:)#unless you don't ship redfinch #which is understandable

23 notes · View notes

violetwolfraven · 5 years ago

Note

Hi! For the prompt thing can you do sprace 22 or 28?

We both thought we were a secret but long story short all of our friends know.

and

What if we kissed because we were arguing and I really wanted you to shut up but we both enjoyed it? Lol jk... unless..?

I’m gonna write this in a modern AU cause I haven’t done a lot of that.

...

Race groaned as he flopped down on his little brother’s bed.

Usually, even sharing a room, Race was happy to leave Romeo’s side of the room to Romeo, but today, he needed to talk.

“Well, hello to you, too,” Ro said, looking up from his math homework, “What’s wrong?”

“Who says something’s wrong?”

“You flop on my bed when something’s wrong. Medda ain’t home, but do I need to go get Jack or Crutchie?”

Race could hear their two older brothers playing Mario Kart in the living room. It would be easy for Romeo to call out and have a full-on sibling powwow in here, but...

“No,” he groaned, “I fucked up, Ro. Like, really bad.”

“Given your complete lack of survival instincts and annoyin’ personality, you’s gonna have to be more specific.”

Race reached over to slap his brother’s knee, “I’m serious! I fucked up and I can’t take it back and I don’t know if I can fix this one, like, ever!”

Romeo was silent for a couple seconds before closing his math book altogether and turning to face Race.

“Is anybody dead?”

“What? No.”

“Is anybody physically hurt?”

“No?”

“Is anything on fire?”

“Romeo.”

Romeo shrugged, “If it ain’t one of those three, I don’t see what could be unfixable.”

Race sighed, “Well, this ain’t one of those three, and I’m pretty sure it is.”

“Talk to me, Racer. What is it? You’re scarin’ me.”

Race looked over at the door. If he got up to close it now, Jack and Crutchie would probably hear and guess that the two youngest brothers were keeping a secret. A super fun thing about this family was that they all could be a little nosy, and Race really didn’t want all 3 of his brothers all up in his business this time.

He leaned in close to Romeo, lowering his voice as quiet as he could and still be heard over the sounds of Jack and Crutchie yelling about Mario Kart scores.

“What would you say,” he said nervously, “If I was in an argument with one of our friends?”

“I’d say...” Romeo paused dramatically, “That sounds like you.”

Race gave his brother a shove, “Shut up.”

“Sorry. By all means, continue.”

“Anyway... what would you say if it was gettin’ heated. As in, we were shovin’ each other and almost full-on physical fighting?”

“Hmm. I’m gonna have to go with, I’d say... kinky”

“What the fuck, Ro?”

“I’m sorry. Keep goin’.”

Race sighed, “What would you say if I... kinda... sorta... got pushed up against the wall and he was yellin’ in my face and I just wanted him to shut up so bad so I might have kinda kissed him? And he kinda froze for a second but then he kissed me back?”

“I’d say...” Romeo lowered his voice to a stage-whisper, “It is about damn time you and Spot got over yourselves and just admitted it already.”

“What?! How did you know it was—“ Race lowered his voice, “How’d ya know it was Spot?”

Romeo shrugged, laughing a little, “Race, there’s been a bettin’ pool on how you two would confess your feelings since middle school. The whole friend group is in on it.”

“Oh my God!”

Race had been carrying a torch for Spot since seventh grade, but he’d never told anyone that. He’d assumed no one knew, but...

But apparently all of his friends did. Which meant all 3 of his brothers knew and not one of them had so much as tried to get him to talk about it.

“You absolute bastard,” Race said, completely deadpan, “You didn’t think I needed to know that?”

Romeo laughed, “Telling you woulda been cheatin’! Anyway, spill the deets! Is Spot a good kisser? Does he make you swoon? How did it feel, finally gettin’ your feelings out there?”

Race rolled his eyes, “Please never say ‘spill the deets’ again. And Ro... well, yes, Spot is a good kisser, but we... we didn’t get our feelings out there. I kinda ran away—all the way here—right afterward.”

“Oh,” Romeo’s smile faded, “Well... ya know where he lives. Go to him! Right now!”

“What? No! What if he don’t like me back?”

Romeo rolled his eyes, “Ya said he kissed you back, right?”

“Yeah, but what if that was just a in-the-moment thing?” Race asked, “What if he—“

“Trust me, Racer. Spot likes ya back so much it’s almost too sweet even for me.”

“How do you—“

Romeo rolled his eyes again, “Race, why do ya think we placed bets on not if you would get together, but how? Spot’s been pinin’ after ya since seventh grade. And it’s stupid, cause you’s been pinin’ after him, too, but you’re both too dumb to see it. The whole friend group, we’s all been frustrated as hell with ya for years.”

Race didn’t know how to process that.

“Oh yeah, and Crutchie won the bet. Damn. I owe him ten bucks. Poor Kath bet fifty, though, so... Wow. With everybody’s bets combined, our big brother is gonna be fuckin’ loaded.”

All of this was still making Race’s brain short-circuit.

“What’re ya still doing here? Trust me, he loves you, Racer! So stop mopin’, get Jack to let ya borrow his car, and go get the boy!”

Race got up, stopping only to grab the blue jacket Medda always claimed brought out his eyes, and hesitated before leaving the room.

“Wait... does... does the entire friend group know?”

Romeo laughed, “Even Jojo asked if you was already together within a week of meetin’ us.”

Race left the room so his little brother wouldn’t see his cheeks burning.

“Jack, I’m borrowin’ your car!”

“What? I didn’t say ya could—“

“You always let me borrow your car,” Crutchie pointed out.

“Well, yeah, but you’re not as annoyin’ as Race.”

“He’s borrowin’ it so he can go get Spot!” Romeo hollered.

“Oh my God, seriously?” Jack yelled as Crutchie wolf-whistled.

“Ask Romeo for the details!” Race shouted over his shoulder as he grabbed Jack’s keys off the counter.

“Ro, spill the deets!”

Race rolled his eyes, hearing Jack yell that as he headed out the door.

...

Spot looked completely shocked to see Race outside his house, but he still came out, closing the door behind him.

“What do ya—“

“Our friends know,” Race blurted, unable to hold it back, “Like, all of them.”

“What?”

“Romeo told me they’ve had a bettin’ pool on how we get together since middle school.”

Spot was silent, so Race rambled on.

“Spot, I’s had a crush on you since seventh grade, but I never told ya—I never told anyone, not even my brothers or Albert or anybody—cause I never in a million years thought you might feel the same, and—“

“Are you shitting me?”

Race fell silent.

Spot grabbed his shirt, pointing in his face.

“You had better not be bullshittin’ me, Racetrack Higgins, because I’s had a thing for ya since the first day I met you and now you’re tellin’ me we coulda been a thing since then but we weren’t because we was both too stupid to try and make a damn move.”

“That’s about what happened,” Race confirmed.

Spot let go of his shirt, “Damn.”

His tone was angry, but Race could read him well enough to know that mostly, he was just annoyed.

“I really liked kissin’ you,” Race said awkwardly, “I mean, I ain’t kissed anyone else before, so I don’t know if it was actually good, but I think it was, cause it felt really good, but...”

“I liked it, too,” Spot assured him, “It felt good.”

“Good. Um... do ya want to... do it again?”

Spot looked at the ground, smiling, “Yeah. I do. Just... not here. Not now. I’d prefer to do somethin’ else first. Like... that new superhero movie that came out last week. Ya seen that yet?”

“Nope.”

“Great. Are you free Thursday night?”

Race nodded, his feelings too excited and scrambled for him to respond verbally.

Spot smiled, “Awesome... I guess it’s a date.”

Race nodded again, “I guess it is.”

They stood there, just smiling at each other, for a couple minutes.

“You do know that since all 3 of my brothers are gonna know, all of our friends are gonna know ‘bout us bein’ official by the end of tonight, right?”

Spot rolled his eyes, “Ya think I care?”

“Oh. Okay, good. I mean, we’re all gay to some extent, so it ain’t like they can judge us, so... I don’t care, either.”

“Good.”

Spot seemed to be hesitating on something, so Race didn’t break the silence that followed that.

He was pretty shocked when Spot leaned forward to kiss him on the cheek before going back inside.

If he was still grinning like an idiot when he got home to 3 brothers and an adoptive mother waiting for details, that was totally fine.

#newsies #sprace #racetrack higgins #spot conlon #race x spot #fluff mostly #modern au #romeo newsies #jack kelly #crutchie morris #violet’s writing

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apollo-writes-random-shit · 5 years ago

Note

“Damn, damn, damn, double damn!”

Fun fact: This was originally going to be angsty but I decided to save that idea for later. So have some worried Jack who’s stressing about a ‘first date’ with Davey.

I added one of my favourite ideas about a reincarnation au for like a paragraph lol.

Oh yeah before I forget. #LetCrutchieSayFuck

Crutchie grinned as he watched Jack toss around clothes.

"Damn, damn, daMN, DOUBLE DAMN IT!"

He chuckled, watching his brother rush around. "Someone's nervous."

Jack jumped, spinning around, clutching a shirt in his hand, pants in the other. "No shit I'm nervous! I've actually got a date with David!"

"David? Damn you really are nervous." He laughed, shaking his head before entering the room. Despite his teasing, he was willing to help out his older brother considering the other looked five seconds away from breaking down. "Alright...I'll help you pick out ya clothes. Just relax okay? You'll do fine you moron."

"I don't want to stuff up! What if I do something stupid and scare him off?"

"Jack...He's dealt with your bullshit this long and it just so happens he's taking you on a date so fucking chill." Mockingly, he pat his cheek. "I see you need my help. So where are you two even going?"

"The library..."

"Heh, a nerdy date huh?" Crutchie paused as he looked between pants. "Hang on...This is a date right? Not just studying or working on a project?"

"Umm.."

"Jackson Kelly-Larkin you fucking moron. You're stressing over going to the library to study and you're acting like it's a date?"

"H-Hey! Normally, it's a group thing and he invited me and me alone! He was blushing when he asked Charlie!"

"What if he was worried about coming off strange?" Crutchie smirked, knowing full well that Davey had asked his brother on a date. Hell, the other had been texting him, freaking out about the fact that Jack had agreed. "Look. Just act normal you moron. You'll do fine. So take deep breaths. Everything will be fine. I promise."

"But-"

"No buts Jack! Everything will be perfectly okay so just chill out." He slapped him over the back of the head before going back to sorting through the massive pile of clothes, putting the paint-stained ones aside. "Right. Go grab your shoes."

"Which ones?"

"Just grab whatever ones you feel like wearing. As long as it's not covered in paint considering you get that everywhere."

Without protesting, Jack left to grab his shoes, knowing better than to argue with the blond.

As he waited, Crutchie scrolled through his phone, chuckling at the latest message.

Davey's freaking out. How's your moron doing?

Being a fucking moron and throwing clothes around. I sent him to grab his shoes so I can help better.

Davey legit pulled out a formal top earlier. They're just going to the damn library, not some fucking restaurant.

What, like you and Kath?

Oh, fuck off Charlie.

Whatever you say, Sarah.

"Who ya texting?"

"Hmm? Oh, just saw Race did something stupid over in Brooklyn."

"Again? How the fuck does Spot put up with him?"

"Who knows." With a grin, he tucked his phone away before he went back to matching pants to shirts, glad to see that Jack at least was calming down. He had honestly never seen him so nervous for a date and that just confirmed in his mind that Davey was special to Jack. That and he had been putting up with Jack annoying him for a while and somehow hadn't lost his mind.

"What do I do Crutch? He's fucking amazing and I don't want to stuff this up...He's different from everyone else and I mean it this time. I'm actually scared...I don't wanna scare him away but freaking him out..."

"For once, shut up. You won't scare him off. After you two are done at the library, see if he wants to grab a coffee or some shit. Just act normal for god's sake."

"Don't use the lord's name in vain you gremlin!"

"Since when were you the good religious boy of the family? That's meant to be Race."

"Please. That asshole isn't anywhere near being a good Christan boy." Jack snorted, shaking his head as he remembered each time Race didn't follow the bible. He knew that didn't make him any less Christan though. He just enjoyed teasing him but always made sure not to push too far, seeing how it was one of his fondest memories involving his birth parents. "It's like he looked at the bible and said Fuck you. I'm gonna do everything you tell me not to. 'm surprised that cross o' his hasn't burst into flames."

The two looked up at the sound of giggling, shaking their heads at the sight of their younger twin brothers, staring in.

"Jackie's got a date!"

"Jack's wants to kiss Davey!"

"He's gonna get cooties!"

"Yeah and he'll give them to you two if you don't leave!" Crutchie waved his hands towards them, watching as Mike and Ike just giggled and rushed off to do gods knows what.

Jack sighed as they left, shaking his head with a soft smile. "They'se dorks." He couldn't help but wonder how long the two had been watching him worry about what to wear.

"Yeah, and they get that from you and Race. Out of the three of us, I'm the most mature one. Once again, the middle child is the best child."

"Aw shut up." He tossed a pillow at Crutchie, grinning as the other boy laughed and leaned to the side to dodge it.

"You love me. Now put these on." He tossed a shirt and pants at Jack before leaving the room. Jack shook his head, getting changed while listening to the familiar light sound of his brother's crutches tapping the floor as he went to go check on their twin brothers in hopes they weren't making a mess.

Quickly getting changed, he nodded to himself, inspecting every small inch. Once again, Crutchie had pulled through and found an outfit that worked for a date yet seemed causal enough that no one would suspect he had been panicking. Sure, there were some small dots of paint on his jeans but it was basically his brand at this point so it wasn't really a surprise. Taking a few minutes to debate with himself, he quickly scooped up his cap, smiling softly as he looked at it. While some people looked through thrift shops and found caps like his, Jack's had actually been passed down through the years, each owner leaving a small mark. One of them was a carefully stitched name of Jack Kelly. He didn't really know much about that Jack considering they lived hundreds of years apart but he still felt a connection with him.

All he really knew was what had been printed in the papers. He chuckled softly, putting it on. Specs liked to speak of reincarnation, saying he had felt a natural connection to them all and the picture of the newsies on strike just solidified that thought considering all their names were listed in on the front page. Jack couldn't lie...He felt a connection to them all as well but he didn't want to say it out loud for the fear of sounding cheesy, though he suspected some of them knew.

"Thinkin' bout the past are we?"

Jack blinked, looking over at the reappearance of his brother. "Eh, not really. Just wondering if it goes with the outfit...Like a good luck charm you know?"

"Mmmm sure." Grinning, Crutchie shook his head. "I thought you'd want to wear it so I made sure it matches."

"You know me too well Charlie..."

"I also know if you keep staring at yourself in the mirror and freaking yourself out, you'll be late so you better hurry up."

Panicking, Jack checked his phone before swearing. "Fuck you're right. You're fine with watching the kids right?"

"Jack, it's going to be fine. Unlike you, the twins and Smalls actually listen to me most of the time. So, don't worry about us okay? Just go have fun. Everything will be fine."

Brushing off the teasing insult, Jack rushed off after giving his brother a quick hug, shouting a goodbye over his shoulder, only to bolt back inside to grab his car keys, quickly running back outside, ignoring Crutchie's laughter.

Taking deep breaths, he drove himself to the library, doing his best to ignore the butterflies in his stomach. "It's no big deal...We're just studying and I'll see if he wants coffee or something later. It's just studying...That's it...Sweet Jesus give me strength."

Time passed by too quickly and he soon found himself parked next to a familiar car. Adjusting his cap, he slipped out of his car, heading inside, praying to everything out there that he'd get a boyfriend by the end of the day.

#newsies #jack kelly #crutchie newsies #crutchie #charlie morris #davey jacobs #javid #apollo's shitty writing #friend request #prettyinlimegreenboots

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she-who-the-river-could-not-hold · 4 years ago

Text

Interview Tag!

rules: answer questions & tag 20 blogs that you are obliged to know better.

Tagged by @smokyy-mountain-rain, thank you!!! I’m so belated in doing this whoops!

Name/nickname: Kathryn, some people call me Kat or Kath!

Pronouns: she/her

Star sign: sun - cancer, moon - aries, rising - virgo

Height: 5′6″

Birthday: July 1st

Time currently: 10:32 am

Fave band: I’ve never been as into bands but I’m working my way through Fleetwood Mac’s discography right now so I’d definitely say them right now!

Fave solo artist: Lady Gaga forever and for always

Song stuck in my head: for once nothing!

Last movie watched: Green Room - truly one of the most gnarly, intense thriller/horror movies I’ve ever seen holy shit

Last show binged: It might have been Stranger Things 3? which was still over the course of three days so not quite a true show binge I suppose. I’m really anti-binging things haha

When my main blog was created: well my actual main account was made in 2011 which means I’VE BEEN ON TUMBLR FOR TEN YEARS

Last thing I googled: the summary of the movie Atlantics so I could use it in a design warm up I did this morning

Other blogs: @liftthesewingstofly is my main account and @whenthevoidiscalling is my resource blog

Why I chose my URL: I hate picking usernames over any variety lol so I pretty much found a line of a poem I liked that felt aesthetically pleasing and wasn’t fandom focused so I didn’t feel boxed in! it’s regretfully very long but at this point there’s no way I’m changing it

Following: 500+

Followers: 1,300+

Average hours of sleep: my body is pretty consistent about needing seven hours of sleep no matter when I go to bed, for better or for worse

Lucky number: I don’t have one!

What I’m currently wearing: my dad’s old flannel and some Adidas sweats! my usual work from home attire in 2021 lol

Dream job: graphic designer for Disney theme parks merch + posters! or realistically just being able to either freelance and do shop stuff on the side would be the dream.

Dream trip: two week trip to Australia and New Zealand

Fave food: I could happily eat Tex-Mex for the rest of my life (my goal is to learn how to make more authentic Mexican food this year though!)

Nationality: American

Fave song: how daRE YOU I COULD NEVER

Top 3 fictional characters: Clarke Griffin (the 100), Dana Scully (X-Files), and Buffy Summers (BTVS)

Tagging: @the-most-beautiful-broom, @talistheintrovert, @queenemori, @poppykru, @burninghoneyatdusk, and @captainwilldameron

#get to know me

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livesincerely · 5 years ago

Note

how goes the tie fic? 🧐

It’s going well! Current word count is 2185 and all but a couple hundred are for the first chapter! And I’d say it’s about halfway finished? Maybe?

I’m not sure how intense I’m going to make Davey’s flustered internal monologue yet, and that’s where all the length is coming from, lol.

What I’m most pleased with is the opening scene, which I’ve finally wrestled into submission. I’m not the type of writer that needs to start with the beginning, but having the intro finished really helps me get into the groove/tone of the story.

And here’s the part I’m sure you’re most excited about: another sneak peek!! 😊😊😊

00000

“We just have to present a united front,” Katherine states with incredible confidence. “He can’t argue if it’s both of us.”

“No. Hell no,” Jack says when they approach him the next day. The two of them have been talking for all of five minutes and Katherine and Jack both look ready to throw punches. Davey’s relatively sure it won’t come to that, though honestly, his money’s on Katherine.

“Jack, would you please just—“ Katherine gets out through clenched teeth.

“I said no, Kath! How many more times do you wanna hear it? No!”

Katherine throws Davey an exasperated look—one that says ‘for the love of God, talk some sense into him.’

“Jack,” Davey starts, taking a step closer to him. “I think you should let Kathy take you shopping for some new clothes.”

Jack whirls around to face him, his eyes dark with irritation. “Dave, just ‘cause I’m workin’ a desk gig don’t mean I need some fancy getup to do my damn job—“

“Jack, no one’s saying you need to start showing up to The World dressed to the nines,” Davey says, “but don’t you think having a nice set of office clothes would get the other workers to treat you with more respect?”

“I shouldn’t hafta dress a certain way to get treated decent,” Jack says, and he still looks upset but he’s starting to settle down. “Havin’ money don’t make ya a better worker and being poor don’t make me an idiot.”

“You think I don’t know that?” Davey asks, running a hand soothingly along Jack’s shoulders until the tension there eases. “I’m not saying it’s fair, of course it’s not fair—but stuff like this never is. It’s about knowing the game and learning how to play it. Katherine and I just want to make sure you got a decent shot at it.”

Jack holds Davey’s gaze for a long moment, then the last of the fight drains out of him.

“Fine,” he huffs. “What exactly did the two of ya have in mind?”

00000

@61-flaming-sour-cherry-scones

#newsies #javid #the tie fic #*editor's note #*the writing desk #*ask #i finished a major work project today so ill have more time to write this week #which im very excited about #😊😊😊

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thelittleredheadedmusician · 6 years ago

Text

We Won’t Eat Our Words

For @newsies-strike-day I thought it only appropriate to do a Newsies centric fic in my crooked politician au since I did a les mis one for barricade day. You don’t have to read the rest of the series for this, it’s written as a standalone. Special thank you to @rum-on-fire who is definitely NOT part of the newsies fandom (though they have their green card to stay in the rabbit hole lol) and very helpfully betaed and edited this. Title, inspiration, and recommended listening: Monster by dodie w/ assit from 100 Bad Days by AJR. Rating: PG Words: 4,959 AO3

Katherine collapsed onto her bed still fully clothed, needing to work up the energy to even put her pajamas on. She’d spent the day setting up her new apartment – since she’d be needing one after next year anyway her parents had kindly agreed to foot the bill for a small studio near school until she graduated and would start paying the rent herself – and was thoroughly exhausted as a result.

Her mom had insisted on hiring movers for hauling her possessions from their uptown brownstone to the downtown apartment and for bringing up all the furniture. Katherine had insisted on actually putting everything away herself and so the two had spent the Saturday doing just that before her mom called a cab and they drove home. She was so tired she almost regretted just not spending the night, but she was waiting to start living there until after the cable guys came and set her wifi up on Monday.

Kath held her phone aloft in front of her, thumb hovering over the call button for a friend from D.C. She had just enough mental capacity to talk over final details for his visit the next weekend. Before Katherine could hit the button her bedroom door flung open, causing her to let her hand drop as she turned to see who it was.

Her father stood there, back straight and chin out, still in his pressed business suit at the time SNL would be showing the second performance of their musical guest had it not been the middle of July.

Kath swung her legs off the bed and used the momentum to push herself up into a seated position. She let her face fall into the cool neutral expression she reserved for interactions with her father, tilting her head and lifting her eyebrow incrementally to show her question at his barging in.

Joseph Pulitzer stepped exactly two paces into the raspberry walled room. Transferring his polished loafers from the dark burgundy of the hall rug to her cream carpeting. He pulled his tablet out from under his arm and with an economical flick of his wrist held the screen out to her.

“What’s this?” He demanded.

Forced to get up, Katherine crossed the short distance to meet him and take the tablet from his hands. She was confused at first, not understanding what he was referring to. Then she recognized the website that had been pulled up.

Thanks to the Newsies’ recognition for election coverage – which Katherine’s blog posts from D.C. had no small part in – the writing blog that she’d set up her junior year of high school had seen a flood of traffic. She’d decided to capitalize on it and turn the site into a writing portfolio. With the help of Elmer the web design wizard she’d managed to embed articles and videos from three different news sites. Specs and Davey had helped her to curate a sense of professionalism; balancing her more personal, opinionated blog posts with her news writing from the school paper, the more frivolous reviews from her time interning in the Arts section at The Sun, and the work she did as an intern for CNN in the fall. The site looked good.

Katherine looked up from the tablet to her father, a frown tightening the corners of her mouth and dragging her brows together. “It’s my portfolio. My writing portfolio.”

Snatching the tablet from her hands Joe scoffed. He swiped at the screen, scrolling to something before tapping with a controlled sort of violence.

“What?” Katherine demanded. Her blood was starting to boil and her earlier exhaustion had burned off as a result.

“You actually believe that this shows your skills? And don’t get me started on the complete lack of journalistic integrity.”

His sneer actually knocked her back, causing her to stumble.

“Excuse me?”

Joe flipped the tablet around again, showing the research articles that she’d put together for the Newsies. He sent the page scrolling.

“You actually think that you can be unbiased and yet remain in bed with your little activist group?”

Katherine’s lip curled at her father’s choice of words. Her hands had closed into fists and she only realized they had when she felt her chipped manicure biting into her palms.

“If you had been paying attention at all you would know that we have been praised for being non-partisan and unbiased. But that would mean you actually cared enough to pay attention to me,” she spat.

Her father’s expression turned stony. Any emotion that she might have been able to detect was shuttered behind judgmental eyes and a cruel mouth and harsh brows.

“You might think that you can skate by on talent and charm alone Katherine, in fact this little display proves you think exactly that, but no one is trawling the internet for hires,” he sniffed. “I certainly don’t. I would never hire you.”

For a second Katherine’s heart stopped. Her father’s words ringing in her ears. When it started again she drew herself up to her full height and met his gaze.

“Well it’s a good thing I never expected you to. You see the name at the top of the page? Katherine Plumber. Not Pulitzer, Plumber. Everything there I did myself and I didn’t even need you. I don’t need you to give me a job either. What you hold in your hand does more to prove that than any point you think you’re trying to make. I don’t need your name or your judgement and I certainly don’t need to stand here and listen to you insult me.”

Joe seemed stunned. Katherine used this to her advantage, already moving towards her bathroom and pulling her toothbrush, toothpaste, and birth control pills from the cabinet. She tossed them into the travel case she kept under the sink and then followed with her hairbrush and some makeup and bobby pins, hair ties and travel sized body wash, shampoo, and conditioner.

When Kath walked back out Joe still hadn’t moved. She tossed the case into her backpack. She moved to grab up her pajamas and they and her laptop and charger followed suit. She wouldn’t need the clothes she’d laid out for the next day but she pulled them off her desk chair anyway when she swept up her keys, wallet, and subway card. The subway card went into her pocket, the rest dumped into the backpack too. She could fish her keys out on the train.

He was still standing there as she pulled her shoes back on. By now he had the decency to look dumbstruck.

Katherine closed the bag and swung it onto her shoulders. Fuck not having wifi, she didn’t need it for twenty-some odd hours if it meant not dealing with Joseph Pulitzer. With his condescension. His contempt. His utter disinterest.

She shouldered past him and finally he did more than stare at her. “Where are you going?”

Narrowing her eyes, Katherine jutted out her chin. “Home.” And then she marched down the hall. Down the grand staircase and through the foyer. Right out the big front doors to the muggy night beyond. Katherine didn’t stop marching until she reached the subway platform that would take her downtown.

Here she paused, waiting for the train. She dug her keys out as she waited. They rested on the end of a lanyard she’d gotten from her old dance studio ages ago. The pink one with a purple crown marked the front door. The Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland the back. The shiny silver the apartment. The dull brass the building.

There was a keychain on the end of the lanyard too that held a trio of keys each decorated in a primary color. The keychain was a metal art deco design with “Medda Larkin” and the theater’s name and her office phone number. The yellow was for Jack and Charlie’s building. Blue for their apartment. Red a townhouse in Georgetown.

She could hear the train rumbling towards the station and Katherine made a decision. She ruthlessly twisted the princess and Cheshire Cat keys from her lanyard, shoving them deep into a pocket of her backpack. When she held up her lanyard again she saw the places she knew she would be welcomed.

Katherine closed her hand around the keys and stepped on the train.

After about twenty minutes in her apartment Katherine began to regret her choice to storm out rather than simply kick her father out of her room. Not because she felt any guilt about what was said. Not because she didn’t have wifi. Entirely because she and her mom had decided to save electricity and turned off the air-conditioning. In the short time that she’d been gone the humid New York night had crept in and she was dying.

She’d had the ac running full blast, but it wasn’t quite enough yet. Her frizzing hair had been wrangled into a bun on the top of her head. She’d found a pair of old soffe shorts a size too small that she hadn’t known she’d owned nevertheless packed when she rifled through the drawers her mom had filled for her while she had been setting up the kitchen. She’d been searching for the tank top she was currently sporting and the shorts had been in with her athletic wear.

Sitting in the dark on her new couch Katherine could hear the city humming around her. Now that her quest to beat the heat was done, she had nothing else to focus on but the fight.

She wouldn’t take back what she’d said and done. Katherine had defended herself, her future, her blog, and by extension, her friends. What her father had said though? That was echoing around her head. His “I would never hire you” just getting louder and louder in her imagination.

Katherine grabbed her phone off the coffee table and swiped it open. She went to her contacts’ favorites and hit call. The muffled ringing bled into the ringing of her father’s voice and Kath was struck by the hour and a fear he might be sleeping. Just as she was bracing herself for the possibility he picked up. Katherine let out his name on a sigh of relief. “Jack.”

“Hey Kath,” he sounded muffled, like his face was mashed into his pillow. “Is everything ok?”

“Not really,” she found herself saying in a small voice, suddenly feeling the beginning of tears. They made the words want to stick in the back of her throat. “I- I had a fight- and- and- I ran away. I’m at my apartment. I need a hug.”

Dammit. She was crying. Katherine didn’t cry and yet here she was. Her father had actually made her cry.

“I’ll be right there,” and now Jack sounded like he was sitting up.

Kath let out a shaky breath and swiped at her eyes. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

It wasn’t long until the buzz of the intercom made her jump, pulling her out of her mental echo chamber. The apartment was still warm but most of the humidity had started to dissipate and the temperature was well on the way to comfortable. She buzzed open the door into the building and stayed leaning by her door, knowing it wouldn’t be long until there’d be a knock.

When it came Katherine opened the door to Jack but not just Jack but Charlie, David, and Sarah too.

“What’re you doing here?” she asked.

Jack engulfed her in a hug, moving her out of the doorway and letting the others in.

“Housewarming party,” Charlie said as though it were obvious.

This made Katherine acutely aware of the fact that she had absolutely no food. Another thing that she was waiting to actually start living there to acquire. The hour made her doubtful if the local bodega would even be open.

“Umm…” she said, still being hugged tightly by Jack.

“We brought snacks,” he whispered in her ear. She squeezed him tighter, a silent thanks for reading her mind.

“Damn girl, you live like this?” Charlie joked, staring around the dark studio.

Giving Jack one last hug and a kiss on the cheek she moved to close the door and flip the lights on. “Sorry, it was hot and I was afraid to blow out the ac.”

David snorted, he’d moved to the kitchen and set his backpack down on the counter. He started pulling out sodas and juice boxes. “Kath, and I say this with love, this place is nicer than where I grew up. I doubt you’ll blow a fuse for having a lamp and the air-conditioning on at the same time.”

Katherine rolled her eyes and stuck her tongue out at him. Her friends chuckled and she noticed that David hadn’t been the only one to bring a backpack and they all had set about taking over her kitchen. The noise started to drown out her father’s voice in her head.

“Ok,” Sarah said, peering into her desolate fridge, “either you invited Les over before us or you haven’t gone shopping yet.”

Giggling Kath came to grab glasses and plates out of the cabinets. “I don’t think I invited any Jacobs over and yet, here you are. And at this hour.”

“Yeah, I was on Ellen and we were just about to start talking about what it was like to be Robin to Robert Pattinson’s Batman. Then Jack woke me up,” Charlie gave his brother a dry look and the other boy held up his hands in defense, a bag of Doritos in each.

“Sorry man but we all know the Kath Signal supersedes the Bat Signal,” Jack said.

She tried, she really did, pressing her lips together into a tight line but she couldn’t help but grin. Her earlier tears were long forgotten in the face of her friends. It was obvious what had happened, Jack had roused Charlie and called David who’d brought Sarah and they all came to check on her. To distract her or reassure her, whatever she might need.

Katherine paused, hands resting on the counter, as she watched her friends unpacking the supplies they had brought. That just made her smile grow as she realized that Jack and Charlie had merely grabbed whatever was in their cupboard before coming over while the Jacobs must have woken their mother – whether accidentally or intentionally she wasn’t sure – if the tupperwares filled with cut fruit, veggies, and Kath’s favorite homemade hummus were any indication.

Moving around her they began to dole out the snacks. Kath finally forced herself into action again, grabbing a capri sun from the fridge before making herself a plate.

They all made their way to the living room, arguing over who would be forced to sit in the overlarge beanbag chair that had been a staple of Katherine’s dorm since freshman year. It was the same beanbag that Sarah had to eventually decree was not a suitable bed and thus not allowed to be used as an excuse to spend the night after the boys had discovered it and tried to use their room as an escape from whatever mischief they might have gotten into. While comfortable it was extremely hard to pull oneself out of.

Kath found herself maneuvered into the middle of the couch, Jack on one side and David on the other. Charlie had gotten the armchair and Sarah sank into the beanbag with a resigned sigh.

The ac was finally doing its job and she leaned onto Jack, swinging her legs up so that they draped over David’s knees. Both of them just gave her incredulous looks before accepting their fates. Katherine poked at her hummus with a baby carrot, lost in thought as a silence settled around her.

She felt Jack press a soft kiss to the top of her head and sat up to blink at him in confusion.

“You ok?” he asked in a low voice. That’s when she realized they’d all sat there waiting for her to answer a question she’d been too wrapped up in her own head to realize was asked.

Katherine felt herself blush as she nodded. “Yeah. Um, what’d you say?”

“I wanted to know how the move in went,” David said fondly.

She’d just taken a bite of her carrot, so Kath waited until she’d swallowed to speak. “It went really well. I mean you can kinda see that,” she rolled her eyes in self-deprecation, “but yeah, the movers got all the furniture set up and then my mom and I did the rest. Took the whole day but it’s done.”

Kath shrugged and took another bite before adding, “The cable guy comes Monday so I’m shit outta luck on entertainment until then. No tv, no internet. But I’ve got some dvds if you guys want? I think I know where my Cards Against Humanity got to.”

David groaned as Charlie punched the air. This then resulted in Charlie nudging David sharply in the side with one of his elbow crutches for the groan. And saying, “You’re a sore loser Davey, it’s time ya get over it.”

David rolled his eyes and Kath giggled.

“Don’t deny it Dave,” Jack said, smug. The way she was leaning on him meant Katherine could feel him move as he spoke. It was weird. And funny. Kinda relaxing too.

“We both know that Les got the bad habit of flipping the Monopoly board from you,” Sarah chimed in, putting the lid on any of her brother’s world-famous rebuttals.

David flung his hands up in defeat. “Monopoly is a stupid game anyway! Do you know how bad they are for consumers? And us striving to create our own is just propaganda.”

“You know,” Kath chimed in thoughtfully, remembering a fun fact she’d picked up from a friend, “it was originally created to show how detrimental to society capitalism was. So, you’re right about the propaganda angle, wrong about the original intention.”

Her friends were all giving her variations of the same look. A mixture of mild confusion and dumbfounded. Katherine decided to just turn her attention back to her hummus.

“Well ok then,” Jack finally said. “I think that means you’re feeling better?”

It was a question, she could tell it was, but thanks to the distraction presented by teasing David and bitching about Monopoly she’d totally forgotten her own shitty captain of industry father. Katherine deflated slightly at the reminder.

She nodded meekly, though it was more of head wobble than a nod that eventually just turned into a shrug against Jack’s side. She huffed out a breath and her friends, no, her family – the wonderful marvelous people that they were, who came into her empty apartment in the middle of the night whilst she was wallowing and turned it into a true home in a matter of minutes – waited patiently for her to gather her thoughts and make up her mind.

“It’s a mixed bag?” she tried. Katherine could admit to herself she was stalling as English escaped her. She was left with the memory of her father storming into her room looping in her head, juxtaposed with opening her door to find Jack, David, Charlie, and Sarah waiting for her. Also, the word Gummiente for some reason, it was German for rubber duck. All in all, not a very banner moment for the wannabe writer. Maybe her father was right.

Katherine squeezed her eyes shut. She did not want to think about that. The air caught slightly in her throat as she inhaled. Would not even give him the satisfaction in her own imagination.

Jack must have felt her still because the next thing Katherine knew he was draping an arm around her and pulling her into his side. Then she felt David shift, gently swinging her legs down so he could slide closer and hug her too. A weight rested on her knee, the unmistakable feel of the top of one of Charlie’s crutches and she knew that the only reason it wasn’t his hand was because the space between the couch and coffee table was too narrow for him to maneuver with the couch full. Distantly Katherine thought she’d have to remember to fix that as she felt Sarah squeezing her hand, having finally fought her way out of the beanbag.

Katherine took in another shuttering breath. Her shoulders shook slightly. No tears tried to slip out though as she found herself laughing in relief. Brought about by her friends around her. Happiness and love for these people.

In a rush Katherine’s words came back to her and soon were pouring out of her mouth. A habit of hers that her father hated and had on occasion gotten her into hot water but for the life of her Kath couldn’t see the point in silencing herself, even if sometimes her voice reacted before her brain.

“You guys are just the best,” Kath breathed out in a rush. “I mean really. I’m so so so glad to have you all in my life and so thankful that you just decided to show up here in the middle of the night. Like, I know you were all sleeping; and I know how much you need it, bunch of overworked and underpaid college kids who run a human rights campaign slash activist group on the side that you are. But you somehow decided that I was more important than some well deserved rest. For some fucking reason.

“Which I really appreciate,” Katherine paused slightly, catching her breath and steeling her nerves. “Like, really appreciate. So much. So so much. Because I- I ran away from home? No. That sounds dumb. Oh god, I feel like a fucking dork but like I don’t care, cause I need to tell you guys this: I have a home; you are my home. I ran away from my dad. He- he found my blog and I’d say he was just being a dick about it but really he was being himself cause he’s always a dick so like I shouldn’t be surprised but we wound up arguing – I know, I know, shocking – and well I don’t regret what I said, it may have been mean but it was true, and I don’t regret coming here but it still hurt. He…”

Katherine trailed off, opening her eyes to frown down at her lap with the plate of snacks still clutched in her one hand. Jack pressed a kiss to the side of her head in encouragement. She furrowed her brows, screwing her courage to the sticking place.

“He told me that he’d never hire me,” Katherine finally said.

It was met with a chorus of shock and outrage. Jack and Davey both squeezed her tighter while Sarah let go of her hand to throw her own up in the air in exasperation. Charlie was letting out a stream of expletives detailing exactly what he thought about Joseph Pulitzer as a father and businessman.

After a couple long seconds David started laughing. It snapped Katherine out of her sudden shame as she looked over to him, fearing hysterics. David just grinned widely back at her as she gave him a questioning look.

“Kath!” he exclaimed breathlessly between laughs. “You don’t need him to hire you! And probably never will!”

She blinked at him, not following. Jack apparently had though, and she figured it was thanks to the fact that their trains of thought tended to run on the same rail. “You’re right! And it’s his own fucking loss!”

The two boys laughed as Katherine tried to work out what they meant. She glanced to Sarah who looked just as lost as she was and then to Charlie. He was frowning slightly but nodding as though he was seeing the logic in his best friends’ nonsense.

David realized her confusion, grabbing the tops of her arms so that she would meet his eyes as he spoke. “Kath, you already have a job.”

She made a face. “I’ve got an internship,” Katherine corrected him.

“Yeah, with The New York Sun!” David shook her slightly in his growing excitement.

“Your second summer internship there,” Jack added with that same almost manic cheer. “And this time they don’t have you writing puff pieces on kids festivals.”

“No they don’t!” David tagged back in and great they were going to do the thing where they traded off sentences to create one long argument. It was an impressive and truly fantastic talent, but Katherine hated when they turned it on her. Especially when she had yet to see their point. “This time you’re working directly for Bryan Denton, the one and only!”

As if on cue Sarah cheered “Our man Denton!” Which, granted, was a pretty Pavlovian response from any newsie when Denton, News Editor at The New York Sun, was mentioned.

Kath just widened her eyes and raised her brows slightly, her expression clearly saying “And your point is…?”

Charlie huffed, leaning forward in the armchair. “Kath, do we have to spell it out for you? Denton loves you. He’s like the Batman to your Batgirl, more Cain than Gordon in this case though you’re more of a Babs than a Cass in general and that’s not just because of your hair…”

Kath raised an eyebrow.

“But I digress,” Charlie said sheepishly. “He’s taken you under his wing. He sent you the internship application in like, what, January? Like right after break? And hired you himself. He loved working with you on the big World protest freshman year and was the one who suggested you apply to The Sun for the summer after in the first place, and you did last summer once the Newsies accounts were solidly off the ground. This is your second summer there. In. A. Row. And you spent the fall in D.C. At frickin CNN. An internship that Denton also suggested you look into since he knew about it from contacts he had from his war correspondent days.”

Rolling her eyes, Katherine shook off David’s hands where they still gripped her arms. Judging by his expression he’d forgotten he’d still been holding on and she let a small smile slip out.

“Look,” Kath started, “I won’t deny that Denton has been helping me out and kinda mentoring me, but it doesn’t mean he’ll just magically give me a job after graduation. If they don’t need another reporter in his section he can’t hire me no matter how much he likes me or how good he might think I am.”

Jack and David exchanged a silent conversation in a single look over her head. Katherine sat back so she could glare at them both.

“Uh exactly?” Jack laughed. “You said it yourself, even if there’s not room in his section he’ll make sure you’re hired at The Sun somewhere until there is. Or he’ll help you get a job anywhere in New York.”

“Not that you need his help,” David added. He smirked at her, but it was quickly turning into that proud smile of his. The same one he gave Les any time his little brother showed up on campus to brag about an A on a test or someone else he’d talked into following the Newsies of New York accounts.

“Kath,” Sarah said, speaking for the first time in a while. She was shaking her head in fond exasperation. “Your resume could kick anyone’s resume’s ass: You’re the Editor-in-Chief for the school paper this year. You help run one of the most up-and-coming non-partisan political outreach groups in the Northeast. You’ve interned for two different sections at one of the city’s biggest papers. You helped cover the midterm elections for CNN. Your articles helped bring about a major change in policy for one of the biggest universities in New York, as a freshman. Like, these are the highlights and only cover the past three years.”

Katherine started laughing at that. A mildly deranged sound that started bubbling out of her throat before settling into something normal. All snorts and gasps as her friends joined her. It was ridiculous only because it was true. And she had flung it right back into her father’s face before making a grand exit.

“Well I’ve always been overdramatic in my rebellion,” she managed to gasp out between laughs.

That only made her friends laugh harder. Sarah snorted before saying “I know” and clearly flashing back to Katherine blasting alt-rock in their tiny dorm freshman year.

Katherine shook her head. “But the melodrama was definitely an inherited trait.”

“Well,” Jack said when the laughter started to quiet, “you definitely outdid him on this one. Points for that.”

“Honey,” Kath made her voice sickly sweet as she teased him, a sure sign that she was feeling more like herself. “Don’t you know this is like Whose Line Is It Anyway? The rules are made up and the points don’t matter.”

“But just like Whose Line there’s still a winner,” David added quickly. “It’s pretty clear tonight it’s you.”

Katherine beamed. With a living room – her living room – filled with the people she loved there was no doubt in Katherine’s mind that she had indeed won. Even though she wasn’t quite ready to verbalize it. Not tonight at least. After a night’s sleep she knew she’d be able to go back and face her father, head held high with the confidence that no matter what Joe said or did she was untouchable. That in a few years screaming matches and steel sharp words would dull into memories, all that would matter about tonight would be that she finally realized exactly how lucky she was.

#newsies #strikestrikestrikeday #katherine pulitzer #katherine plumber #jack kelly #david jacobs #davey jacobs #crutchie morris #sarah jacobs #joseph pulitzer #crooked politician au #my fic #writing #own writing

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secretcircuit · 2 years ago

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music ask! 1/3/11 if any are interesting :)

1 - an album you can’t stop listening to lately

ok so because of The Concussion(tm) i haven't really been able to listen to much unfortunately. ive been able to listen 2 instrumental music though so i have been listening 2 nicholas britell's score for andor a lot bc my brain can handle it! i think that's the closest thing i have to an "album"... prior to being concussed i was listening to albin lee meldau's lovers ep... i rly like the piano in it! OH and super tonic by elixir - this is a contra dance band i used 2 dance to live a lot... oh the good old days! my brain has also been very good w/ this sort of music (reels, jigs etc), and the clarinet is such a lovely and unusual addition to the genre

ok that ended up being a long answer, lol

3 - a song you really like by an artist you otherwise don’t listen to very much (whether that’s because you usually don’t like their music, or just because you haven’t listened to the rest yet)

ooo... i have a few, body to body by soft ballet is rly good but i dont know much of the rest of their discography (just for lack of listening). i also adore come here by kath bloom but dont know any of her other songs lol. this song makes me yearn...

11 - what’s a song that your favorite band doesn’t perform live, but you really wish they would?

oh what a good question... this will also prob be a long one lol. disclaimer im gonna talk abt the mountain goats of course & they actually play most of their songs live! but one song i love dearly is called "pale green things" (off of the sunset tree) - john darnielle mentioned in an interview once that he's only performed it live once or twice because it's a deeply personal song that he had to reach very deep down to write... though i just checked their band's wiki & i see now that they actually played it a handful of times in 2021 which i find interesting! but it is still quite rare compared to the others. it's a song about learning that his abusive step-father has died, so it's quite heavy... i think this is less of an answer about "song that is seldom performed live" and "song which, if it were to be performed live with me present, would be a transcendental experience"... AND its a rly long answer...

thank you for asking!!!

music asks :)

#katertalks #answered asks #xerampelinaekiss

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fighterfortheforgotten · 7 years ago

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PINOF Through the Ages

ah, November, that special time of year between halloween and christmas where i can buy “fun sized” (read “thumb sized”) chocolate bars and tinsel in the same aisle at walmart…

it’s also that time of year where members of the phandom, young and old, come together and collectively binge watch all the PINOF videos in preparation for the newest installment, as we wait with bated breath for what fresh hell we’re gonna be hit with this year.

today, i would like to share with you my observations of PINOF Through The Years, as we embark on the fucking trip that is sure to be PINOF 9…

Phil is not on fire (25 October 2009)

- can you IMAGINE what the hell Phil’s parents and/or brother must’ve thought when they were filming that/saw it for the first time?! Phil brings home this random kid he found in a train station and they start giggling like actual 12 year olds and wandering round the house talking about The Shining, using the exercise equipment Phil has probably never stepped foot on in his life, and drawing on their faces in sharpie? i can fucking HEAR Kath saying “Phil…honey…are you on the drugs?” and Martyn cackling like a lunatic in the background at his brother and his weird friend….

- Dan is trying so. damn. hard. not to laugh throughout the entire video.

- Speaking of Dan, even back then he was a sassy, cocky lil shit… “every animal makes that noise with you…” “wow Phil, i bet they’re all so glad they can see the diagram…” “no, okay, Phil has really crappy GHDs that don’t even work…they don’t even work…they are Poundland GHDs.”

- everyone always talks about The Tackle™ at the end of the video, but not NEARLY enough people talk about the lil smirk Phil gives the camera just before it…like, seriously?! that’s a “haha, here goes nothing!” kinda smirk. thats a “lol watch this!” kinda smirk. thats a “give the people what they want” kinda smirk…im just sayin’…

Phil is not on fire 2 (29 May 2010)

- okay, first of all, Dan…sweetheart…did you borrow that cardigan from your mum?

- Dan: “if you could choose which surname you had, what would be your decision?” Phil: “…umm…” *almost imperceptible but still definitely there jumpcut* Phil: “Striker!”….yeah, yeah, yeah, alright, everyone knows that Phil really said “yours” in an incredibly sheepish and embarrassed voice to Dan that made him go “awwww!….you’re cutting that out…”, but lets appreciate the editing skills it took to make the cut so completely (almost) seamless….

- oh. my. GOD! there is an ENTIRE post JUST about the microwave moment, but i have to reiterate it again for those who have recently entered this hellscape: imagine you are Phil Lester, a 23 year old adult with an ENGLISH LANGUAGE DEGREE, and in comes this adorable 18 year old twink trying to tell you that “microwave” is a fucking onomatopoeia! if i was Phil, THIS would be the moment i’d never let Dan live down. fuck “hello internet”, if he ever pissed me off i’d just be like “yeah, well, at least i know microwave isn’t a fucking onomatopoeia…” and walk away. argument done, you win every time.

- and that being said, again, lets appreciate how much we can learn from the facial expressions of Philip Michael Lester. in that moment, the look he gives Dan is pure “are you fucking serious…?” it is incredulity in a nutshell. it is shock and fondness and “oh my god you are such a twat…”. if there were a dictionary of facial expressions, Phil’s face at the moment Dan says fucking microwave is his favourite onomatopoeia would be the one next to the definition of “wtf?”

Phil is not on fire 3 (1 November 2011)

- 2011 was, by far, the WORST year for Dan and Phil’s hair. tragic. absolutely tragic…

- wow, Dan was right, every animal DOES make the same noise to Phil, including horrific genetic hybrids of land and sea mammals…

- Dan’s ability to almost unhinge his jaw is terrifying…and i’m sure has played a part in lots of phanfic that i’m definitely not going to look for ever…

- okay, seriously guys?! the word is vagina. say it with me: vagina. come on! all together now! it’s not a *awkward silence and weird hand gesture*, it’s not a “birth area", it’s just a vagina…for someone who knows so much about placenta, it strikes me as odd that Dan can’t say the word vagina out loud…

- i’ve never heard anyone giggle as much as Dan does in this video…

Phil is not on fire 4 (12 September 2012)

- the hair is better this year…slightly…

- whoever decided that those face mask things were a good idea needs to be buried alive…the way they look when they move is so horrifying, it gives me nightmares.

- the “gu-hoy!” noise Dan makes in this video (ts 3:21 if you’re at all interested) is my text alert on my phone and it makes me panic every time i watch it because im like “wtf is someone texting me for at 11:53 pm?!” but then i realize it’s just the video and that i’m actually still very alone and have no friends…

- (bloopers bonus!) petition to have 2012 be known in the phandom as, ‘The Year Dan Was Finally Comfortable With The Word Vagina’. that’s all it was guys! he learned a new word and just wanted to show how broad his vocabulary had become!

Phil is not on fire 5 (22 November 2013)

- and right off the bat we’re affronted again by the fact that Dan and Phil have zero concept of how female anatomy works….

- this is probably the most uneventful pinof in the entire series.

Phil is not on fire 6 (6 November 2014)

- to return to the hair discourse, i firmly maintain that 2014 was the best year for their haircuts/styles.

- Phil has no concept of what a sassy face is…

- #StopPhil201X needs to just be a recurring thing every year…

- that poor, poor snake…

- petition for Dan to sing the national anthem at every tour stop in 2018

- the idea of Dan trying to carry on the legacy of Phil Is Not On Fire after Phil’s death is so damn heartbreaking to me…i need a minute

- my lil demon soul is convinced that Phil was doing *something* to Dan’s neck when they both tried to fit through that sweater…i mean, look at his face when he laughs and says “stop". seriously?!

- something about Dan with his fringe swapped, on the wrong side of the bed, and wearing Phil’s shirt makes me feel almost uncomfortable, but in a way that i’m not entirely sure how to process…

- (bloopers bonus!) to reiterate! every animal does, in fact, make the same noise to Phil. this has now been confirmed 3 times.

- (bloopers bonus!) the amount of pleasure Phil is able to derive from any mention of Hello Internet warms the deepest recesses of my soul like the light of the sun after a 1000 year winter.

Phil is not on fire 7 (29 November 2015)

- uh, excuse me? do not drag my country in such a way. Canada is indeed real. it’s where maple syrup comes from. as someone who enjoys the simplicity of a good pancake, i expected better from you Mr. Philip.

- i feel so bad for their neighbours during the stress mushroom tug of war…like, can you imagine what those poor people must’ve thought of them? i’d love to interview their neighbours one day…better yet, their neighbours should write a book: “I Lived Next To YouTubers For 5 Years: The Adventure" and just have it be a chronicle of every weird thing they ever witnessed/encountered.

- with every passing year, Dan’s knowledge of fanfiction tropes and writing styles becomes increasingly disturbing…hide the smut everyone Daniel Howell is coming for it.

- Phil! with the puns! honestly Dan, how do you put up with this man?

- (bloopers bonus!) the way dans voice changes when he grabs Phils underwear and is just ENTHRALLED with the fact that he’s colour coordinates his boxers to his bedsheets is probably the single most disgusting thing i have ever witnessed in my entire life…i mean, i love it, but why are you SO EXTRA?!

Phil is not on fire 8 (29 November 2016)

- NOTHING in the animal or cutlery kingdoms should be born or created in the way Phil describes the birthing process of a spork!

- okay. OKAY! i love the fringes, i really do. i’m a fringe fan from way back, but the hair pushed back thing they get going on sometimes? i can get on board with that.

- aaaannd at 1:57 into pinof 8, the little game i like to play called “Phan or Viktuuri" had all of its lines blurred so far beyond recognition i’m not even sure which universe i’m living in anymore.

- the PSA for “staying hydrated"…such a harmless, and beautiful message about health and self care that the phandom managed to turn into a sex meme…but no one is surprised by that now, are they?

- i need to know why that stock photo exists in the first place…also, why the hell was Phil wearing sandals in November?

- (bloopers bonus!) Phil: “phil is not on fire 8! this time its…what the tagline?” the phandom: “…gayer than ever?” Dan: “full of regrets.” the phandom: “…i mean I GUESS!!!”

- (bloopers bonus!) everything about this blooper reel just confirms even more solidly that Dan is the biggest Phil fan in the world. i’m not gonna wax poetic about the compliments or the comparisons to sunshine or anything else, because at this point is it really necessary? no. i thought not.

and there we have it. just in time for PINOF 9 to be released, a full (and much more in depth than intended) recap of the saga thus far…wake me up when Gamingmas starts, cuz after this video comes out, i’m gonna need a solid week of sleep

#pinof 9 #dan and phil #phandom #daniel howell #phil lester #amazingphil #pinof8 #pinof 7 #pinof 6 #pinof 5 #pinof 4 #pinof 3 #pinof 2 #pinof 1 #pinof #phil is not on fire #danisnotonfire #2017 in the phandom #my own special brand of shitpost

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fanboyscribbles · 4 years ago

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#TheHowsOfUs. Three years late for this one. The Hows of Us is about the struggles of a couple who individually tries to chase after their own dreams but in the process, outgrows each other simply because life happens. Quite a nice plot that opens up a lot of opportunities to draw out raw emotions, which they showcased progressively well in the film. It starts off quite light and upbeat, even cheesy to some extent. But when the past starts catching up to the present, it becomes deeper and more emotionally charged. You understand why George (Kathryn Bernardo) was driven to a corner and why things started to fall apart. The ending, though, is very Filipino. Like of course there's an unread letter from Primo (Daniel Padilla) under the fridge that could've saved the relationship. But it begs to ask, would they be where they are with it? How different would things have been if George saw that letter? We'll never know. What I appreciate most about this film is they didn't antagonize George for having a dream or for wanting something better (unlike another fan fave film that placed the female lead in a bad light for asking for space and focusing on her personal growth, and sadly ends up begging for the male lead to choose her again. Pls don't come at me). They highlighted her efforts and sacrifices for the sake of keeping the relationship, but it came at the expense of her future. She never gave up until she reached her breaking point. Sadly, she lost the person who was supposed to support her. It's those small outbursts that caught me offguard. A very vulnerable George being vocal about what she feels, but was met with passive responses. It was during these scenes when I felt like I was watching a mix of Bea, Sarah, and Toni -- all equally brilliant actresses, and Kathryn levelling it up and delivering a multitude of emotions. A departure from her old ways of acting. This was a great feature for both Daniel and Kath. Could've done away with the Amsterdam and long lost father narrative but all good. Also, really happy to see Jean Garcia and Susan Africa here. 8/10 for me. Hello, Love, Goodbye (2019) is still Kath's best one yet. P.S. That diploma line LOL https://www.instagram.com/p/CS_fTWelnGF/?utm_medium=tumblr

#thehowsofus

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willowistic22 · 5 years ago

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I saw that your requests are open so I was wondering if you might have any ideas as far as jomike and/or newsbians maybe with the group playing truth or dare.

I’m sorry this took so long hehehehe. it’s also fairly longer than my other requests (and i mean it this time) so uhh... oops? I am also trying to work on those other requests ppl don’t worry i didn’t forget them! Anyways, unpopular opinion: brotp jojo and kath pls let that sink in :) mentions of alcohol btw but it’s just them drinking and having fun and that’s abt it (i’ll still put a tw in the tags just in case)

send in some requests!! Or not i’m not the boss of you lol

It sucks sharing an apartment with two other people and being the only single one out of the bunch. At times his roommates would schedule a date night on the same night, which would leave Jo Jo all alone. It has happened more than once, believe it or not. Well, Jo Jo isn’t exactly salty. He’s fine being single. What he doesn’t like with his situation is the part where he’s left behind in their empty apartment.

These are one of those nights. But Jo Jo pushes through the lonely feeling and searches for company. It’s a good thing his good friends, Kathrine and Davey lives just a floor below him. They usually have movie nights together and wouldn’t mind with another friend crashing in.

Jo Jo passes a few doors before he arrives at his destination. He knocks on the door, fully expecting Davey to be answering the door. If it’s movie night, he’s sure Kathrine is wrapped up in a blanket on the couch with no desire of moving a muscle.

The door was answered, but not with who he initially expected. The other Jacobs sibling, Sarah, who just so happens to be Kathrine’s girlfriend. The optimism nearly fell off of Jo Jo’s face but he quickly picked it up to avoid giving the wrong impression.

“Sarah! I didn’t know you were here!” Jo Jo tried to cover up his disappointment.

“Well, Davey’s out so Kath invited me to join her for movie night!”

They didn’t turn away their lonely friend. Though, third wheeling a couple was not what he was looking for. It just makes him feel more lonely. But the couch is big enough for the three of the to cuddle. The feeling of the fabric against Jo Jo’s skin is a little rough but the orange comfy cushions makes up for its roughness.

Jo Jo bounces a bit on the couch before settling under the huge pink fluffy blanket with the couple. It’s big enough for Kathrine and Sarah to be cuddling on one side of the couch and let Jo Jo be an outcast on the other.

He tries to ignore the fact that Kathrine has her head laid on top of Sarah’s chest. The occasional small kisses Sarah gives Kathrine and the butterflies from the pit of their stomachs they express through small giggles. The apartment is dark so the visual can be easily ignored by hyper focusing on the TV screen. Though, Jo Jo can’t shake away the feeling of its presence.

The movie that Jo Jo can’t recognize, moved on to a passionate kissing scene. As if tormenting him with his two friends beside him is already doing the kissing themselves isn’t enough. He hadn’t realize he sighed out too loud when Kathrine sat up from where she was lying down.

“Oh, Jo Jo, I’m so sorry! We didn’t mean to left you out of the cuddling!”

Kathrine proceeds to shift closer to Jo Jo, wrapping her hands around his torso to give him an apology bear hug. Jo Jo didn’t turn it down and hugs her back, hearing Sarah giggling behind.

They let go and moves a little to the center of the couch. Sarah shifts closer too so they can snuggle up with them and they concentrate back on the movie. The only things is, the movies sucks and is boring the hell out of them.

“Why’d you even pick this movie in the first place?” Jo Jo asked after the two girls expressed their boredom.

“I don’t know, I just picked a random movie hoping it isn’t bad” Kathrine confessed.

“Okay... so now what?” Sarah asked the others.

So there’s the new problem that emerged from the shadows as Kathrine turn the lights on and Jo Jo stops the movie. No other activity came to mind. Not even picking another movie since the girls already spent nearly an hour watching some lame movie.

“I know!” Sarah suddenly chirped up after a few moments of silence. Kathrine and Jo Jo looked at her hopefully, “A game of truth or dare perhaps?”

“I’m not interested in doing any dares right now” Jo Jo replied.

“Then... let’s make it a game of truth or truth!” Sarah continued on. She shifts a little closer to the two but kept her gaze fixed on Jo Jo with a grin painting her face, “If you could date one of us, who would you date and why?”

So it appears Jo Jo is up first. Not exactly sure when did they decided it though. He squints his eyes at the girl and tilts his head in confusion.

“Ignoring the fact that we’re all gay here. Of course you wouldn’t date either of us but if you had to choose, who’d it be?”

Since there isn’t anything else for them to do, Jo Jo plays along with this game of truth or truth. Half an hour asking others questions, real spicy ones too, they were having a blast in the end.

Kathrine opens up the beer stash she and Davey keeps, but if they’re being real: Kath is the only one that really needs that stash. Sarah shares a bottle with Kathrine and Jo Jo passes the offer.

“Tell me, Jo Jo: why are you still single?” it was Sarah’s turn again to ask Jo Jo a question. A fitting one as well, since the reason he came here is to not be lonely while his two roommates are out on their respective dates.

He rolls his eyes before diverting them back to where the other two girls were, still sitting in the same position they were the whole time, “I just haven’t found the right one yet!”

“So Mike’s not the ‘right one’ for you?” Kathrine plainly asked, as if it wasn’t suppose to be a secret he was keeping with a few other people.

His eyes Kathrine down with silent rage. Sarah’s eyes widen and her jaws dropped to the floor. She was laughing breathlessly when she heard her friend having a crush on another friend she hadn’t expected.

Jo Jo isn’t up to argue with her so he just slouches back in the couch with a pout and a loud sigh. Sarah’s laugh and Kathrine’s cheeky grin at him is infuriating. It’s quite hard to ignore it too since they’re both up on his face. God, he wishes he has the heart to punch the light out of them.

The bullying only lasted for a minute or so. Sarah stops laughing as soon as she noticed the visible pout on his face. But she couldn’t hold back the grin.

“Alright, alright, stop it you two!” Jo Jo said, before slouching again with his hands crossed.

A few seconds of silence to wait for Sarah and Kathrine to come down from their high. Once Sarah caught up with her breath, though the excitement was still verbally there, she speaks up, “So how’s that going on?”

“What?” Jo Jo gazed at her confused for a second. Not that he didn’t understand what it meant, but rather at the fact that she doesn’t understand the situation, “You think I’m the kind of guy that can make the first move?”

As much as Jo Jo loves his friend, Sarah is out of her mind to think Jo Jo can make any form of progress. He doesn’t know what Mike’s reaction would be if he does. Hell, he wouldn’t even know where to start!

“I mean, easiest way to do it is by talking to him” Sarah added on, “You never know till you try!”

“I wish this was truth or dare. I would’ve given you a dare to go talk to Mike right now” Kathrine commented. It’d be a very fitting dare since Mike lives with his twin brother Ike just a few doors down. Though, she’d expect Jo Jo to chicken out and switch to a truth.

Regardless of the unfortunate circumstances, they keep playing. Sarah, being the only one who isn’t entirely in the know of Jo Jo’s crush, kept asking questions about it in between turns and sometimes she makes it her question to him. Kathrine already knows because Jo Jo often talks about it to her.

If you ask him, Jo Jo doesn’t even know how he’d gotten his feelings tangled with his friend in the first place. It suddenly happened and it hasn’t left his system ever since. If he could, he’d do something about it. But Mike’s far out of his league, he’s sure of that. Plus he’s probably already busy with someone else. So what’s the point in trying?

A knock on the door brought their laughter to a sudden stop. It couldn’t be Davey, since he’d already have the keys to enter his own apartment. As Kathrine recall, her roommate didn’t left his keys at home. Even if he did, he’d call Kathrine beforehand.

The three observes the door quietly, bodies frozen in place and simultaneously thinking of the same thing. They exchange looks to each other before focusing back to the door.

Jo Jo stands up from the couch and tip toes to the door. His movement are careful as he gets his hand closer to the doorknob. There was more knocks, since it’s left unanswered for quite some time, followed by a familiar voice calling from the other side with a familiar voice that makes his heart drop, “Davey? Kath? It’s Mike!”

He could not have such bad timing than to come knocking on the door right now. What can be so important that the next morning couldn’t wait?

Jo Jo twisted his head back to face the girls who are now smiling widely, visibly trying to hold back a laugh. They gestured him to go open door but Jo Jo refuses, frantically shaking his head with a look of horror behind his eyes.

“Hello? You guys home?” Mike called out again with a few more knocks.

Jo Jo starts to sweat. His legs glued to the floor, unable to escape his problem. Kathrine rolls his eyes with an annoyed sigh, getting up from her seat to get to the door. Jo Jo isn’t sure what she’s going to do but it was too late to stop her before she realizes she’s opening the door for him and proceeds to hide herself behind it.

Mike froze for a moment, surprised to see the boy’s face, “Jo Jo? Wh-what’re you doing here?”

Jo Jo couldn’t answer quickly, his brain not being able to pull him away from the sudden act Kathrine just pulled on him, “Uhh... hi”

A slap can be heard in the background. Jo Jo can feel the disappointment from Sarah’s distant facepalm. He hears a silent sigh from behind the door, Kathrine deciding to step in and save the day with a huge smile on display.

“Hey, Mike! You need me to return that cooking pot?”

“Oh, yes! I need it for tomorrow” Mike answered, moving his focus to Kathrine.

“I’ll go fetch for you but it’s gonna take some time” Jo Jo is slowly realizing what Kath’s up to and he can’t do anything about it, “In the mean time...”

A big shove from the back made Jo Jo’s feet obey to the movement since his brain isn’t registering to what’s happening yet. Mike, being confused as to what’s happening, didn’t move an inch which resulted into Jo Jo crashing into him. The door shuts behind them and they’re left in the front hallway of the apartment.

Jo Jo didn’t move at first other than moving his head back to get a better look at what’s happening. His head is inches away from Mike’s, chests’ pressed up together, and limbs getting tangled. Both faces show obvious confusion and a hint of embarrassment at the situation they’ve gotten themselves.

They stammer at their words, head scrambling all over the place as they try to figure out what’s the next move. Mike takes one step back with an awkward smile, an unnatural thing for him to do since he’s always so fun and relaxed.

“I... wasn’t expecting to see you in there tonight” Mike tried to ease away the awkward tension.

“Yeah, I just... I was looking for some company” Jo Jo explained.

“Being single sucks, huh?”

“I mean... not necessarily. I’m fine but it can get a little lonely”

Mike nods along, returning to his easygoing demeanor, “Yeah, I get it. Ike basically leaves me stranded in our apartment when Hotshot comes to pick him up”

Jo Jo just nods silently.

So new information of the day: Mike is single. Jo Jo’s brain starts to get excited. But he knows better to shut that thought away with the knowledge of needing to consider in more factors.

Mike coughs, taking this chance to look away. The moment is slowly getting awkward. The two boys not knowing what to do other than rocking themselves on their own pace to ground their nerves.

“What’s the pot for?” Jo Jo blurted out, now fully realizing the awkwardness between them is slowly getting intolerable.

“Oh, our parents are visiting tomorrow. We’re gonna make dinner for them” Mike answered, “And it’s Ike’s chance to introduce them to Hotshot so he wants things to go as smoothly as possible”

Admittedly, Jo Jo has never felt the nervous feeling of introducing someone special to someone as important as parents, but he’s sort of associating it with what he’s feeling right now. The context is not the same yet he somehow understands the feeling by just standing here.

“And... you’re not inviting anyone?” Jo Jo timidly asked, “I mean, I know you said you’re single but... there just have to be someone out there... right?”

Mike scoffs with a smile and Jo Jo swears on his life his eyes just twinkled, “No point in asking them, we don’t even talk”

Jo Jo laughs a little and scratches the back of his head, “I guess you’d be moving things a bit too fast if you did that”

More awkward silence envelop the two. Jo Jo is praying for Kathrine to return with the pot. Although, he knows Kathrine is taking her time on purpose. But finally, the door opens again only Kathrine wasn’t the one walking out.

“Eavesdropping to you two are going to be the death of me so I’m going to interrupt the conversation!” Sarah said, standing in between the two boys griping the pot with both hands.

“Even from behind the door, I could sense the sexual tension and you guys have to do something about it or I’m about to throw hands!” Sarah continued on, “Admit it! Like literally just admit it: you like each other any dumbass can tell you that! Now kiss!”

Sarah jots the pot in between her upper arm and her side so she can grip both of their shoulders and shoves the two forward. Somehow, they were able to capture each other’s lips perfectly. The boys’ eyes widen from the sudden act. Despite Sarah’s hand are no longer gripping their shoulders, they linger in the kiss for a few seconds because of the shock their brains are experiencing.

The finally found the realization to pull away from each other, recollecting their scattered minds and steadying their breaths. Jo Jo is refusing to believe this is reality. He did not just kiss his crush right then and there for no reason!

“Now that we’ve established that, here’s your pot Mike!” Sarah shoves the pot towards Mike. He fumbles with the pot as he hasn’t fully has his feet back on the ground, much like Jo Jo, “Alright, see you later!”

Sarah drags Jo Jo back in the apartment and shuts the door. She turns to a still shocked looking Jo Jo with a smile, “See? Progress right?”

Jo Jo cocks his head to face Sarah, stuttering a few of his words before finally blurting out, “Not like that!”

Kathrine watches the two from the couch, now occupying the newly popped popcorn, “I mean, that was kinda funny but I think you just ruined his chances now”

“Well, I’m sorry. I just got annoyed from the pining!” Sarah exclaimed. She returns to her spot next to her girlfriend on the couch, leaving Jo Jo where he’s frozen in place and still trying to process what just happened. Sarah turns back to where Jo Jo is, “And for your information: I wasn’t lying. I know for a fact that he likes you!”

Kathrine and Jo Jo gives her a questioning look. To which, she answers, “He admitted it himself”

Jo Jo’s jaws drop and his eyes widen once again, tilting his head in wonderment, “WHAT?!”

#newsies #drabble requests #jomike #newsbians #jo jo newsies #mike newsies #sarah jacobs #kathrine pulitzer

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penzyroamin · 7 years ago

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So some of yall wanted that soft Waitress-inspired Javid au

Okay so

Setting the scene-- everyone lives in a small suburb. Kath, Crutchie, Spot, and a few of the others go to a university in the nearest big city, Race, Mush, Blink, and Romeo go to community college, and Sarah, Jack, and Specs go to this fancy arts school. (Sarah for fashion, Jack for painting, and Specs for dance, the flexible wizard that he is.) And Davey, as just the beginning of his stress, is taking night classes at the community college to slowly work towards a degree.

Why is Davey taking night classes, you ask? Because he’s working full time at a diner/coffee shop/cafe/we don’t give a single fuck what you call us just tip properly that Jacobi technically owns, but Davey basically runs, because Jacobi is an old man and Davey is too stressed out to let an old man handle the finances.

But why the everloving hell does Davey have to overwork himself that much? Because Esther and Mayer died a few years ago, and Davey is the main source of income, desperately trying to keep Sarah in her insanely expensive school and Les in high school, because dammit, Sarah’s too talented and Les is too young for them to have to give up. So most are in some of their last years of college, and some of them work at Jacobi’s.

And those who work at Jacobi’s are getting front row tickets to Davey’s Internal Breakdown. Kath in particular is their main barista and is getting more and more worried about Davey, considering he’s their main baker and still takes up all their management duties. When she finds out that he’s their only early morning baker, she sort of flips. Because, well, he’s getting four, maybe five hours of sleep a night, tops. And then when he starts yelling at a rude soccer mom who didn’t tip Crutchie despite changing her order three times, she decides to step in.

And that’s how Operation G.D.L., or “Get Davey Laid” is formed. Kath, Race, and Crutchie drive themselves to the edge of their sanity scouring through what the know about Davey for information on his “type”, and then, at 9:00, while clearing out stale pastries, Race strikes gold.

“Do you think he might be gay?”

All three of them are silent for like ten minutes, just sitting there, and then Crutchie just announces “HOLY FUCKING S H I T.”

Kath decides to take a visit to the Jacobs residence and check their theory. It is confirmed. Extremely confirmed. When she asks, Sarah literally chokes on a BBQ chip and starts laughing, because d u h. And so, Kath leaves with new information and a tupperware of Davey’s apple crumble that Les snuck her.

So they turn their attention to grilling every single guy in any of their schools to see if he’d be right. They waste maybe a month on community college and university guys before Race has another epiphany.

Jack Kelly, his boyfriend’s adopted brother who goes to art school with David’s sister. Obscenely attractive and can be counted on to make the first move. Also, the biest person to walk the earth since William Shakespeare himself. He’s perfect, they decide. And so, their plan is made.

Medda is a friend of everyone at the cafe, and especially a friend to Davey. She’s the closest he has to a mother figure, and has offered many times to provide financial aid for Sarah’s school. So Kath knows that if Jack stops by, Davey will consider it his duty to say hello. And then she off-handedly mentions that it’s his break, and Jack is ushering him over to sit down and have a scone.

After only a few minutes, it becomes transparently clear that G.D.L. has to become M.S.D.M.T.B.B.G.T.S: Make Sure Davey Marries This Boy Because Godammit They’re Soulmates. And it takes a full day of peer pressure before Davey’s like “Oh yeah I got his number lol”. And they just. Weren’t aware he could function like an actual human being at times.

Cut over to Davey and he’s talking to Jack about how he likes 80s movies and always wanted a boy to stand on his lawn with a boom box. Jack’s just sorta like *side eyes emoji*.

They text each other and meet at the diner for about a month, and eventually Jack’s like “Okay can we go on like... an actual date. Cause I like you a lot?” And Davey, bless his heart, has a moment of internal conflict. On one hand: full time job and night classes taking up all of his time. On the other: this incredible, sweet, secretly dorky, really cute guy likes him and wants to date him.

He says no, because since when is Davey good at self preservation? And Jack is like “Wait are you okay” because boy howdy he is not looking steady on his feet and Davey just. Spills everything. In the middle of the cafe. Tells him about his parents, about his classes, about everything. And then just sorta... flees. Takes his lunch break in the 7-11 bathroom.

He gets home from class later than usual, at like 11:45, and is temporarily scared shitless because he thinks he sees a burglar. He tells himself nothing’s wrong, and goes up to the Jacobs Sibling Apartment, and gets ready to sleep for three hours, and then. Hella loud music. For no reason. Like any self respecting person clinging to minuscule amounts of rest, he heads to the window to cuss the person out.

It’s Jack. Standing outside in three layers, holding a wireless speaker over his head. He sees Davey staring and yells “I KNOW IT’S NOT A BOOM BOX, BUT I’M NOT AS STRONG AS I LOOK.”

Davey’s neighbors start to cuss him out as Davey clambers downstairs in a bathrobe, tank top, and pajama pants to catapult himself at the boy who’s willing to stay up till midnight in November to ask him out.

Jack turns out to be a specialist in cheesy speeches. The jist of this one: I know you have a lot on your plate, but I’m willing to try my best to make us work, even if that means staying up until midnight every Friday to take you to the 24 hour market to eat fried chicken in the car. Davey actually starts crying, (he’s a big softie shhhh) and he kisses Jack so hard poor boy almost falls on his ass into a puddle.

Fast forward a year and a half later, Sarah’s graduated and getting a good paycheck working for a design company that Kath just so happens to have written an exclusive on. Romeo and Specs find themselves as matchmakers for the two. Davey was able to finally finish his first degree, and is getting a phd in biology (big nerd never got over his snake phase smh) while still working part time at the cafe, which Race has taken over with the help of Spot, who Davey managed to beat into a fairly good baker. Jack’s art career is going surprisingly well, and he credits 99% of his inspiration to his “nerdy boyfriend who cooks like the rat in Ratatouille”. Crutchie shocked everyone, got a masters, and is traveling Europe with a mysterious partner that no one knows a thing about. (Besides Davey, who knows everything about them and demands to be best man at the upcoming wedding.)

Davey’s the one who sucks it up and proposes, three years after they started dating. Literally no one is surprised. Davey tries to make the wedding cake a pie. Jack refuses. Davey still insists on making the cake.

They live happily ever after thanks for reading my bs byyyyeee.

#penzy #newsies #javid #my aus

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epersonae · 7 years ago

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ye olde liner notes

A whole bunch of meta for The Truth or Something Beautiful, which @magcretia and I posted two months ago? Sure why not?

It’s hecking long, so more under the cut....

Elaine: so I guess at this point (almost 2 months later) this is more of a retrospective, yeah? But we both want to take a look at how this thing happened, so it's all good.

Kath: Yeah, I mostly thought it’d be useful to us as we’re working on this big WIP of [redacted] where there’s gonna be some intense feelings to kind of take some “emotional inventory” for Taako and Lucretia, and maybe also ourselves? And remind ourselves where we came from and where we’re trying to go.

E: I think we were both pretty wiped out after finishing this, so a little distance is good. I’m trying to remember what the bit was where we decided, fuckit let’s just publish after trying to cut and then put back blah blah blah? Was it “But we — we keep choosing Forsake,” ? We cut because it seemed like a weird turn, but then it turned out to be important?

K: I think it felt like a beat we were hitting without it flowing naturally there, which happens sometimes? But I think with these two, there just isn’t always a flow, because they’re in their own heads so much and say so little of what they need to say aloud. So a lot of times it just comes out abruptly and feels uncomfortable, which isn’t pretty, but it’s true to life. And a LOT of writing this was uncomfortable, I think.

E: Ok, I’ll just dive right into that, then. We both went into this thinking it was going to be an easier conversation than Find the One Safe Way and NOOOOOOOOPE.

K: YEAH UHHH LOL.

E: I had this moment of absolute low where I thought: we broke it, the thing that we thought we’d fixed, we absolutely just broke it, and personally (hi overidentifying with Lucretia) I just kept thinking WOW that was a mistake bringing up Lup.

K: Yeah, I had that same feeling, and I remember talking about it with you like “do we scratch this? Are we really going to keep this?” and I think it was that uncertainty of letting Taako and Lucretia do what they do, the same way we wrote Safe Way, that was scary.

E: these chucklefucks. And the moment where Lucretia dives to the bottom of the pool and, look, I try really hard to stay away from the suicidal stuff when I write Lucretia, I’m just too soft to really handle it, but I was right there in it. (which was super surreal having those feelings at work, LET ME TELL YOU) But I had to trust that “no way out but through” was going to work.

So, ok, this “How could you not do something?” hit me, personally, so hard I could hardly breathe, because duh, of course. sigh

K: So, that all started from your coke!Taako fic, The Mirror, which really stuck with me for… clearly a long time, for a lot of reasons, but I hadn’t really explored those feelings until I started writing my longfic, Another Beach Year. And in ABY, in a scene that I never finished and probably never will, Taako has a nightmare that’s actually a memory of Sizzle It Up days, where Lucretia was watching him from the crowd (as she did in The Mirror) and she sees just how messed up he is, how poorly he’s doing, and she does nothing. And I think that stuck with me even though this series isn’t necessarily in either of those continuities, and I wanted to incorporate that, because I feel that a lot of times the Taako and Lucretia conflict is boiled down to the “you made me forget my sister” thing, and that’s not the whole thing. At least for us, (ESPECIALLY for us?) it’s, “you were my best friend, and you did all that, and you knew I was doing badly, and you still didn’t do anything.” And I think Taako didn’t know how to articulate that in any way that wasn’t accusatory, but it was (and I am biased) perhaps deserved? Definitely necessary, regardless.

E: So I think what made that as difficult as it was on my end was that she felt bad about what had happened, but what she was sorry for wasn’t the thing that was hurting him the most. She thought she knew but she had no idea. I don’t even know how to articulate the dawning horror of “I’ve been sorry about the wrong thing this whole time” except I guess how I actually did? And I think of Lucretia as someone who very much wants to be able to fix things, to make a plan that comes through and improves everything, and to be hit with “this is bad and I can’t do anything about that” is a heavy hit.

K: Mmm. I think it’s hard for Taako to admit that he’s hurting at all, so when he does, it’s kind of a “well I guess while we’re doing this, I’ll get it all out” deal. And so he has all of these feelings about the forgetting, and about Lup, and about a decade being essentially a shell of himself, but what we’re bringing to the table here is this added dimension of their relationships with Magnus, and consequently their friendship with each other. So I think it’s almost easy to lose sight of what exactly he’s hurting about and default to the Lup stuff (and, wow, yeah, there’s so much more there that in True Taako Fashion, even I am avoiding) but fixing the Lup stuff still won’t fix the Lucretia stuff, because he has his memories back. It’s not the forgetting that’s hurting him now, it’s the betrayal.

E: “it’s hard for Taako to admit” — so this. At one point, I was questioning whether he really would have pruney fingers (from the pool) because the amount of actual dialogue wasn’t long enough, and one of the curious things about this whole thing is how much goes unspoken. They take soooo much time to say honestly the briefest things. It’s tremendously frustrating, on some level, because god just say a thing already but it’s also artistically satisfying because it feels true to them, that they dance around their feelings until something just breaks. Usually because I have Lucretia just blurt out some godawful thing. (There’s a bit in the WIP where it’s WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT, but I just feel it.) Of course Lucretia would ask if he’s talked to Lup, and then instantly regret having asked.

K: Oh no girl she didn’t ask, she just abruptly said “I’m sorry about Lup,” which is maybe? Possibly? The worst thing she could have done in that moment. Which makes for good radio but not a good emotional state LOL.

E: Ha, I was thinking about the bit later.

K: YEAH. TWICE. OK LUCRETIA. I think it really does attest to how much she wants to fix things, and all her good intentions, but she can’t do it her way. That way doesn’t work with Taako… They’re the same in that they can’t handle being blindsided with feelings, but that doesn’t stop either of them from doing it to each other? And that’s why these conversations keep happening with the intensity that they do, is they have such a hard time navigating those feelings in the first place. To which we just say, at this point: these chucklefucks.

E: With so much love, but yeah. I can’t believe we thought this one was going to be more lighthearted. Because they were less defensive, maybe? Safe Way they were both on guard because it was a planned encounter, but this was accidental.

K: And they were getting along. For pages, it was like, wow, fuck, this feels good, they’re chatting? Laughing? Together? And then it was, (and wow this is a theme, huh?) talking about family, and ultimately Angus, that caused this whole… thing.

E: There’s so much I have to say about Angus in [redacted], because I’ve fallen headlong into the idea that out of all the adults in his life, Lucretia and Taako are the most parental. But even here, he’s almost a proxy for all this other stuff that’s hanging between them. The theft of the silverware ends up being about what Taako is like on his own, and how Lucretia made her friends into her employees. Angus as a kid on his own is both a thing that Lucretia feels guilty about and a reminder to Taako of his own childhood, and being a kid with Lup.

K: And that was something that I really only scratched the surface of here, because I think that feeling runs deep for Taako. And I think it’s not only why Taako winds up as the parental figure that he is in our timeline, but it’s also why he is so insistent on doing what he can to give Ango a normal life, or to somehow make up for the time Ango spent “alone,” so to speak. It’s hard to articulate, but Taako definitely feels a kinship with Ango in that way, and I think he is projecting some of his own feelings about his own hardships of childhood onto Lucretia? In the way that he blames her for… kind of many things lol. It’s something I want to explore separately later on, for sure.

E: Something that I’m noticing on re-read is that they have this common thread of “you’re the only person I can tell how shitty I know I am” — that might not be exactly it, but something in that neighborhood. That they look at themselves and think “I’m not a good person,” and everybody else is yeah yeah whatever, but they can say it to each other. Which is kinda fucked up, but interesting.

K: YES. I think for Taako it’s mostly “I can say I’m a shitty person to you because there’s very little shit that I could do that’s worse than what you did to me!” Which, yeah, fucked up and interesting lol. And for Lucretia, probably “You already know I’m a shitty person and are the first to tell me so, so I’ll say it anyway”?

E: I don’t think she means it to be calculated, but there’s definitely an aspect of “I’ll admit to it before you accuse me” on her part. I also sometimes see a bit of “you helped make me this shitty” from Taako. And for both of them, they feel like they’re comparing themselves to the people they see as whole-heartedly good, ie Magnus and Lup. (Having this set in Magnus’s yard turned out to be a hell of a thing.)

K: Yeah, I think Taako is a bit more calculated about it, but also I think he’s always been quicker to admit that he’s not really good. (Justin saying “Taako’s not a good person, though, Taako’s not a good person,” on air was like. A LOT to take in. But also, my qualms with Justin’s Canon are well known lol.) I don’t think Taako’s a bad person. I think I summed it up nicely through Kravitz in The Way We Really Are, where he basically says “we’re not good, we’re not bad, we just are.” I think Taako really needed to hear that, especially considering he is Constantly Comparing Himself to everyone else around him, and he honestly believes everyone around him is just… Good. Capital G Good. It’s hard not to compare yourself to your twin.

E: They both have this comparison thing that WOW do I relate to, and actually that circles all the way around back to the thing that was such a difficult editing experience: Trust or Forsake. It was sort of a sideways swerve in the conversation, but it’s such a good metaphor. That they’re both good at calculating the odds and thinking in a very pragmatic way, but then experience the feelings backlash later. They’re both coping with the “rush of shame”, as you put it.

K: I was about to say, I always seem to gravitate back to the robot world, with Taako’s “Am I the only pragmatist here?” and how that was the only time we ever saw him actively disagreeing with Lup. The fact that he was almost angry with her there really stuck with me, and subsequently how he conceded after and promised (with the rest of the team) not to get “scary” like that again. It stick with me, and because of that, it sticks with Taako. I think he feels guilty for a lot of stuff that he knows had to be done. And for that reason, he and Lucretia have a lot in common.

E: That’s one of the core theses of our work together, this commonality. And it’s always such a visceral pleasure to play on that in the interior monologue. Maybe most of all in the new things/good things bit? (Bringing in Kravitz always makes me cry.)

K: Any excuse to bring in Krav. And it was really nice for me to tie him in with a callback to one of your pieces (which you gifted to me!) that was also mentioned in Safe Way. We’ve done a lot of talking outside of our works about how the seven, but particularly Taako and Lucretia, didn’t wind up with the lives they expected, but they wound up with something new and good, and I think that’s a big part of how Taako arrives at his conclusion of “we can’t fix this but we can build something new, maybe.” He knows the power of these new good things, and perhaps the Newest and the Best thing is Kravitz.

E: As I’m thinking about this, and rereading that part in particular, I’m actually reminded of some personal conversations that we’ve had, and this conclusion that they get to resonates: there’s a lot of Bad Shit in the past, and we’re/they’re kind of broken, but there’s enough good now to keep going. Which is a pretty …….. weird? conclusion to end up at, but for me personally it’s oddly hopeful. That it’s better to keep trying than to give up.

K: For sure. I think part of what attracts me to Taako as a character is that he’s the embodiment of the “third option.” Like, no matter how much shit is absolutely fucked, he finds some way to break the game and get the hell out of dodge (and sometimes save the day. But only sometimes.) And I think despite the fact that he struggles so much afterwards (and… basically all of that is my own doing bc lol projecting on fic) he still manages to find a lot of good. It reminds me of a thing you tagged me in that said something like “you don’t have to be hopeful about the future, you just have to be curious enough about what could happen if you stick around” which really rang true for me personally. And for Taako, I think it’s almost a matter of “well, my life was buckwild enough so far, might as well see it through.” (The ravishing boyfriend is a plus, tho.)

E: And honestly, Kravitz’s presence in Taako’s life is something that Lucretia cherishes as well, not that she can take credit for it, obviously, but seeing him happy makes her feel a little better about how everything went down.

K: Absolutely, and I think that gratitude comes through in some small moments in both of our individual works, as early as To New Beginnings which I wrote in October (!) and perhaps even before that? But I feel like there’s this unspoken understanding, almost, between Kravitz and Lucretia (which also came through in Copper for Your Thoughts, in a way) that I think comes with the territory of being the wise characters they are, always laden with such gravitas lol.

E: To zag on you: THE TEA? (which, actually, I’ve never had rose tea, I don’t think? But you made it a Lucretia thing in To New Beginnings at least, and it crossed over into this continuity.) This is another “third option” that changed the whole thing, and I love it.

K: Hah, I never even thought about the symbolic “third option” for tea. (There’s a lot of threes with these three, lol.) Rose tea tastes how roses smell, and it’s weird, but I’m kind of into it? It just always felt like a Lucretia thing to me. BUT YEAH THE TEA, I was having him transmute the juice into tea and I was gonna have him make rose tea, but he already did that in Safe Way, so I was sitting there musing for a minute and thought, oh, what if they had Magnus’s tea? (Oolong, if you’re playing along at home.) And then it hit me: oh, I don’t even know what kind of tea Taako drinks, because he’s always making two cups of whatever the other person wants, which I then raised to you outside of the doc, which then we were both just kinda like “oh… fuck… that’s a thing now” lol.

But I do want to go a little deeper into that, bc I think about it a lot, how Taako isn’t good at saying how he feels. This is known. And that’s another aspect that draws me to him, because wow, fucking same. I used to have quite a knack for naming my emotions, and then somewhere along the line I kind of lost that. And it’s not just about the negative. It’s absolutely a Thing to have a hard time showing people how you feel positively. And I think a lot about that in my own life and have done musing on “love languages” and all that jazz and I think for Taako, he does that in really subtle ways. Doing little things that he almost hopes people won’t even notice. He doesn’t want that “aw that’s so sweet” reaction. He just wants to make that person feel good and move on— which is quite different from the showboating Taako from TV. It’s an interesting contradiction that was so nice to be able to explore so naturally here. Lucretia’s spent a century with him and it hits her all at once that she’s never had the tea he likes, because he’s always taking part in hers. It’s so meaningful and says so much about him. (And maybe he’s not as Bad as he thinks.)

E: And she absolutely notices, first with the mugs — which AAAAAAAAAH the Moon’s Best Director mug, please — because it’s such a little detail that shows that he’s paying attention to her and to her relationship with Magnus, and then the tea and what that means. Again: trust. That she’s going to not try to protect herself or hide from him, she’s going to trust that she can be open and let what happens happen. Ok, I also have to say, we haven’t talked much about the actual process of writing, but the part where Taako says he’s sorry, I read that in the grocery store and then I just wandered the aisles in a daze for like 10 minutes trying to even figure out her response. (In the vein of “leaning into the feeling”, that sound that might’ve been oh or no was literally me in the frozen food aisle.) But they pull back from that brink so quickly! And I think what we’re both noticing in really digging into this again is how actually unresolved it is.

K: I am a big fan of Observant Taako, who cares very deeply but won’t admit it. Even if he’s not in a good place with Lucretia, I think at this point he’s moved forward for his own sake and everyone else’s sake enough that he can appreciate that she makes Magnus happy, and at least that much they will always have in common.

But um, yeah, that apology. It’s loaded, and it’s (appropriately) multi-dimensional. I had Taako feeling sorry during Safe Way, and not understanding why, and not being able to say it. And so here, he feels it again, and he’s ready to say it, but he still doesn’t know why. And it partially comes from a personal place, but it also comes from a lack of emotional literacy when Taako is taking stock of his own feelings? It’s a complicated apology that (you pointed this out, really) he thinks is surface-level for the emotional distress this conversation caused (re: “you spooked me” etc) but in reality it’s more than that. But the rest might be [redacted] here bc I’d like to explore that more in later installments. But yeah, the way they wrap up is… more unresolved than I ever realized? Like reading this back, they didn’t talk about half the shit they brought up, they kind of just threw it out into the arena. Which, for Taako, is more of a “well nothing else is gonna budge til I talk to Lup” thing.

E: In a way, it’s good to see how everything is still so half-formed, because it resonates so nicely as we get into [redacted]. It makes some of the interpersonal weirdness? unevenness? that comes out make actually a lot more sense. Also, if I may say it again for the Nth time: THESE CHUCKLEFUCKS.

#taz fic #my fic #writing about writing #actual tag: these chucklefucks #fwiw writing this influenced a scene we just worked on #so yay us?

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