#steven start being more active challenge!!

[strahmed]

HAPPY 20TH ANNIVERSARY TO SAW 🎉🎉🎉🎉🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🌀🌀🌀🌀🧩🧩🧩🧩🧩

[enuui]

long thoughts abt watcher

its so weird to me that people are being like ‘you aren’t entitled to free content’ about the watcher situation bc that’s not the actual problem here. artists deserve to be fairly paid, but the watcher situation reveals a truly bizarre level of business incompetence and a lack of market research.

they actively cultivated a relatively young audience, actively claimed to be ‘eat the rich’ style liberals, then turned over and told that audience that they need to pay $6/month. which again, fine! dropout did it and survived, but dropout had so much more backing it up, went about the transition slowly, and on top of that, their audience was older and therefore had more spending money available.

watcher has none of that. it would be one thing if they had started marketing to an older audience months ago, or changed the style of their content to match the heavy production costs. but as it stands, they built their career off of relatively simple videos with a lower budget, gained a specific type of audience from those videos, then expected that audience to pivot with them when watcher realized they wanted to make a different type of (more expensive, more produced) content.

it can’t work that way. the audience is not acting entitled right now for feeling a shock, bc the audience became loyal to watcher due to a desire for a certain kind of content (specifically the dynamic between shane and ryan).

and if watcher wants to make different content and be paid for it on a more regular basis, that is also okay! but they severely miscalculated their existing audience, and definitely misunderstood how much their current audience wants to watch the style of videos they want to make.

also, imo, ryan and shane have admitted that they dislike the admin side of running a business. i think they truly thrived as regular content creators and not as business managers, and so they struggled to figure out how to run their company and ultimately handed over the reins to steven to wash their hands of it all and go back to making the content they want. and thats also fine, some people are not built for business and work better as individual contributors.

but ryan and shane and steven also seem to have a view that their simple content is almost… beneath them? they talk a lot abt challenging themselves to put out well produced content that their cultivated audience clearly doesn’t really care about. its a mismatch between watcher’s desires for the future and the audience they built in the past that ultimately led to this mess.

they had two options: easier option to make the type of low-budget content their audience has been proven to enjoy, or put in the work to build up an expanded audience so that they could fund the content they wanted to make, put in the work to do a longer, more well thought out transition, put in the work to make connections and figure out how to manage their revenue streams.

and instead they decided to take a shortcut and brute force their existing audience to fund their dreams, and in the process shooting themselves in the foot by alienating their audience. i just can’t comprehend how they reached this conclusion at all.

[thexsanctuaryx]

ʚ♡ɞ I'll Follow You Into the Dark ʚ♡ɞ

{ CHAPTER TWO }

➳ PREVIOUS CHAPTER | NEXT CHAPTER

Summary: A different kind of morning after. Marc learns a little more about what Emma is going through and Emma becomes more certain than ever that Marc might just be an honest to God angel. Pairing: { eventual } Original Character { Emma Harper } x Marc Spector, Emma Harper x Steven Grant, and Emma Harper x Jake Lockley Contents: mental hospitals, psychiatric hold, slight bullying by another patient, angst { I guess? I don't know what else to call it. }, hurt/comfort-esque vibes Warnings: severe mental illness { psychosis, hallucinations, depression }, main character is actively in psychosis, I've done my best to write it in the least triggering way but there are a lot of heavy themes that will take place in this series, so forewarning. Marc is a danger to himself here but it's only really alluded to in this part. mental hospitals. bullying by Emma's roommate. typical misunderstanding and misinterpretation that comes with psychosis. due to the nature of Emma's psychosis, things are very unhealthily skewed in a religious context. triggering themes related to the aforementioned. Author's Note: I recently finished reading Tear Down My Reason by @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction and it inspired me to work on an idea I've been playing with about Emma and the Boys meeting while both in a mental hospital at the same time. I wanted to write a series that would help other people with severe mental illness feel seen and heard as there really AREN'T works out there like this, especially not actually written by people with firsthand experience of things like psychosis. This series is being written with a lot of love and care so I truly hope that it can be cathartic for those who read who might also live with mental illness because you DO matter and your stories DO deserve to be told. Word Count: 1,599 Taglist: @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction

The next morning, Marc wakes up on too little sleep, vaguely aware of the nurse wrapping a blood pressure cuff around his arm.

He takes in a deep breath, forgetting where he is for a second before the memories come flooding back to him.

He releases the breath in a heavy sigh, inwardly hating himself for winding up here. Again. The nurse finishes taking his vitals and tells him they’ll be leaving for breakfast soon.

Somehow, eating food seems like the last thing he wants to do and he debates whether or not to stay back.

His eyes pop open with a start when he remembers her. His resolve to talk to her again is challenged by both his exhaustion and the self-loathing belief that he couldn’t possibly help her.

‘I want to see her again, Marc…’ Jake sounds off.

‘And you need to eat something—can’t go runnin’ around on nothing…’

“I don’t plan on doing any running, Steven…”

‘Marc…’ Jake presses.

Marc pushes out another sigh, swinging his legs out and leaning over the side of the bed, burying his face in his hands.

He walks over to the small plastic cubby on the wall that holds his clothes, pulling on an oversized sweatshirt and running a hand over his face.

He steps out into the hallway, looking in either direction, and notices he’s one of the first to be up. Typical. He releases a yawn and moves toward the day room to see if she’s in there.

The room is all but empty but he finds a seat, slumping back the same way he had the night before.

‘I hope she’s doing a bit better today…she looked so frightened last night…’

Marc doesn’t want to show any concern for her, a girl he doesn’t even know, but there’s an underlying worry in his gut.

“Me too, buddy, me too…” He mumbles, telling himself it’s only for Steven’s sake.

More patients filter into the room and still she’s nowhere to be seen.

Half an hour later they’re calling everyone to line up if they’re going to breakfast.

He pushes from the chair and makes his way to the line.

She catches his eye, coming out of the room furthest to the end of the hallway on the right, just before the locked entrance to the wing. He notes that she’s still wearing a standard issue hospital gown instead of real clothing.

She’s talking to one of the floor staff, looking confused the same way she did last night, before they usher her to the end of the line.

Marc abandons his place near the middle to join her.

“Hey…” He gently greets her. “How’d you sleep?” He asks, hoping she’s more lucid today.

“Sleep?” She repeats, her mind working over his question.

Another voice chimes in over her, “she slept in the shower after she put on my clothes…” Another girl says grumpily, before she really looks at Marc.

When she takes him in, she clears her throat, straightening up a little bit and smoothing out her clothes. “You’re new…” She says, brightening a little.

Marc pays less than an ounce of attention to her after she explains what happened with Emma.

“Are you okay?” He asks her softly and frowning, wanting to reach out to give her some kind of physical comfort but knowing he shouldn’t.

Emma’s eyebrows pull together, shaking her head quickly just before their attention is pulled away to the staff leading them out of the wing and down through the building to the cafeteria.

As they go through the line, Emma takes hardly anything to eat which only settles more worry in Marc’s stomach.

She goes to sit alone, setting her tray down and pulling her hands into her lap, fiddling anxiously with her fingers.

Marc makes his way over, eyeing all of the other tables of people who’d grouped up.

Her roommate can be seeing staring at her from one such group, clearly gossiping about ‘the new girl’ to avid listeners.

“Can I sit with you?” He asks, keeping his voice as light as he can.

Emma nods quickly, scowling at her lap.

“Thanks,” He replies, trying to get her to talk as he slides into the chair next to her that intentionally blocks her from her roommate’s view.

“You should try to eat something, it’ll make you feel better…” He suggests.

Emma shakes her head, avoiding his eyes.

Marc nods, scrunching up the side of his face, “yeah…I’m not really hungry either…”

The other two in his mind watch quietly with bated breath.

“Y’know, I wanted to say last night…you’re not dead, you’re in the hospital, this isn’t—”

Emma looks up at him wide-eyed, so sure once again that it’s a test. She can’t even form coherent words.

Marc pauses, able to tell that no matter what he says, she’s just not capable of understanding right now.

“Are you scared of me?” He asks gently.

Emma is quick to shake her head.

She wants to tell him that she’s sure he’s an angel, sent to guide her through this process.

After all, no one had been nearly as kind to her since she’d gotten here. And he had been there as soon as she’d landed here, wherever here was.

Her response provokes Marc to worry that if Steven or Jake were to come forward she might become scared.

He tries to find a way to tell her without perpetuating whatever confusion is going on in her brain right now.

‘Careful, Marc…’ Jake reminds him.

Emma seems to be lost in her own thoughts as Marc watches her. He can almost see her battling people within her own mind.

“Are you hearing people in your head?” He asks, keeping his tone in check.

Emma nods quickly, casting her eyes to her lap again.

“I know what that’s like…” Marc nods.

Again, he wants so badly to explain to her about Steven and Jake but he knows how tricky it would be to do so without scaring her in her present state.

“Sometimes—…” He starts.

He presses his lips together with another scowl.

“Sometimes, I might not be…me…sometimes you might see Steven…or Jake…they’re friends of mine and we…we sorta—share— a body…”

Emma’s eyes fly to his, widening again, looking more than a little nervous, her voice tremoring, “l-like possession?”

‘Well done, Marc, scare the poor girl…’ Steven rolls his eyes.

Marc keeps his tone light, with a quiet, tense laugh. “More like roommates…in my brain…”

“A-are you sure they’re not…demons?”

“I’m sure…” He nods, taking no offense to the question as he starts to piece together what her brain is going through at present.

“Is that what you think you’re hearing right now?” He asks.

Emma nods quickly and then shakes her head, “That is what I’m hearing…and—I think some of the people here might be—ya know—” She pauses, giving him a look, “too…”

Marc glances around, nodding again with a pinch of his eyebrows. “I can see why you’d say that. But they’re not…they’re just sick…”

Emma stares at her untouched meal tray, swallowing, unconvinced.

“I promise if you see Steven or Jake, you don’t have to be afraid of them, in fact…they help me when I’m  scared…”

“Th-they do?” She stammers.

Marc gives her a look of certainty, nodding slowly with a warm hum of an, “Mhmm…”

“So they’re more like, angels then?” She asks hopefully.

Marc can’t help a soft but good natured laugh, “Yeah, kinda I guess…”

His laughter puts her more at ease. She nods in seeming understanding.

Marc eyes her tray, knowing it can’t possibly be good for her condition to not eat.

“I’ll eat three bites if you do?” He offers, strategically inserting a number of significance to the kind of spirituality that her brain seems fixated on.

Emma summons a deep breath and lets it out in a huff of a sigh through her nose, scowling at her plate.

But her brain deduces that three is a good number, like God. So she agrees.

Marc can just see the gears turning in her brain, and he’d be lying if he said he hadn’t been hoping using the number three specifically wouldn’t make her more inclined.

She reaches for her fork, stabbing at her eggs haphazardly. She gives him a questioning look when she raises the first bite to her mouth, waiting for the go ahead.

Marc nods and offers a quiet smile, likewise reaching to take a bite of his own.

Emma watches him carefully, waiting for him to do it with her.

As they take the bite together, in some indescribable way, it makes her trust him.

She takes the second bite more easily, doing so without him but still keeping an eye on him to make sure he’ll eat too.

She’s not sure if angels eat human food, but her logic is that if it’s good for her to eat, it must also be good for him. And despite everything, she wants so badly to help him too.

Marc takes a sip of orange juice and then repeats the bite from before.

This affirms to her that he keeps his promises and she takes the final bite.

‘Nicely done, Marc—think she’s starting to like you…’ Steven tells him more genuinely this time, the grin in his voice evident.

Marc likewise can’t keep another light smile from his lips as he finishes his own third bite.

It doesn’t even occur to him, that in this moment, he’s all but completely forgotten the real reason he’s here.

[gartenofbanny]

Let's talk about something different today. Jasper from Steven Universe is my favorite antagonist and I'm just going to casually explain why. So starting off with why I love her as an antagonist is that, Jasper is a huge threat, while she wasn't really much of an active threat she was still a huge threat ngl.

In her debut episode, Jasper managed to solo the Crystal Gems, poofing the strongest gem (at the time) Garnet and imprisoning the two other gems, Pearl and Amethyst while knocking out Steven in the process. When I first saw that when I was a kid, I was REALLY surprised because the crystal gems are extremely powerful in their own right but realizing that one gem took down the crystal gems with minimal effort shows how threatening Jasper is and how more threatening Homeworld as a whole is.

While Jasper was later on defeated by Garnet, it's still impressive because no other gem in Season 1 was really able to hold off Garnet, who was the strongest crystal gem at that time. So it takes a fusion between two gems to defeat Jasper which was shown consistently throughout Steven Universe. Not to mention the iconic battle in Steven Universe that somehow has fewer views on YouTube than the Undertale parody lmao. 💀

But then we move on to Steven Universe Future. After training a teenage Pink Steven for a while, Jasper with no hesitation fights him after Pink Steven challenges her. Let it be known that Pink Steven was gaining powers from his mom's gem who is Pink Diamond and despite the fact that Jasper was shattered in the end, she was still able to hold her own against a Diamond essentially.

Jasper is definitely the strongest lone gem I've seen since she's able to mop the floor with other ordinary gems and only loses against Fusions or Diamonds. But it would be really interesting to see her fight against Spinel or Bismuth.

Another reason why I like Jasper is that to me, she's a foil to the three main characters Steven, Garnet, and Amethyst.

Jasper is big, tough, and strong while Amethyst is small, not as durable as Jasper, and definitely not as strong as her. Jasper is the perfect version of Amethyst, physically even Jasper points out multiple times in "Crack the Whip" and "Earthlings".

She constantly looks down on and berates Amethyst for being physically inferior to her, but Jasper doesn't have the meaningful relationships that Amethyst has. So Jasper has power, but no friends, and due to her lack of teammates she always loses against others who have teammates.

In Garnet's case, Jasper forces gems to fuse with her in order to become more powerful which can hurt the gem she's fusing with in the process and even herself. Garnet is a fusion out of the love of two gems and she's able to handle that form for a long amount of time as opposed to Jasper who was able to withstand a fusion with a corrupted gem for like a few minutes at most.

Jasper does not know that fusion requires consent or love, when she fuses with another gem she's essentially using them to gain power which led to gems not wanting to fuse with her or forcing themselves out of the fusion with her.

Steven's case, she's a foil to his belief that everyone can change. Jasper in Steven Universe Future was the only character who for the most part did not change, she still remained a gem who worshipped their diamond regardless of the other gems aren't doing so anymore, she still remained violent and alone because she trained nonstop in a forest in isolation, and she still viewed power over everything.

She's also the opposite of Steven in one way because she tells Amethyst "Fighting is my life!" And Steven Universe isn't much of a fighter more like a pacifist.

So yeah that's really why I love Jasper and why she's my favorite antagonist in Steven Universe as a whole...but there is one thing I will say that I don't really like.

I don't like the fact that Jasper was brought back from being shattered just to do nothing after she was shattered. It immediately removed the tension that Gems can be erased due to the fact that Steven was able to repair and revive Jasper hours after he shattered her.

It would've really been disturbing if they just kept Jasper shattered because not only is the danger of shattering still..dangerous, but it will also somewhat work thematically with Jasper's character. Jasper is the only gem who didn't change their violent tendencies from the start and because of that, Jasper's fate couldn't be changed after she was shattered. But then again SU Future also showed that Yellow Diamond was able to repair shattered gems so it's possible that Steven doesn't even need the essence of all the diamonds to repair a shattered gem.

Would I be sad if Jasper stayed dead? Definitely, but it was pretty underwhelming to see her again just not do anything after she was repaired but then again what could she have done when she was repaired? Y'know?

Anyway, that's all for today. Thank you all for reading and I hope you all have a nice day! ❤️

[ms-m-astrologer]

Transiting Venus enters Leo

Thursday, July 11 - Sunday, August 4, 2024

Hot girl summer up here, north of the equator - I guess south of it, the days are warmed by Venus’ rays?

This transit, like summer’s lease, hath all too short a date - it really is (or can be) a fun time. We don’t quite take things so seriously, we’re a little more forgiving of others and ourselves. How it plays out through Venus’s areas:

Art - tending for the performing arts here, dance and drama as well as music. We can get very creative, maybe expressing ourselves a little more openly and honestly than usual. If we want to try something new, this encourages us.

Beauty - fun, spa-type treatments during which we are royally pampered. If Venus aspects your Ascendant or its ruler, this is an excellent time for a makeover.

Love - oh, Venus here loves, all right. We behold our loved one(s) and literally light up. We’re lavish with them; we can’t do enough to show the strength of our ardor. (Downside: we can’t always accept that other people get to exercise free will, too, ie, nobody has to love us back.)

Money - can be an utter tightwad and miser; also can joyously piss away every last penny for one moment’s pleasure. We’re inclined to spend on luxury items, and to make sure everyone is having a good time.

We’re starting and ending the transit with challenges from two of the transpersonal planets - all three, if I were to add Neptune (an inconjunct on August 4, maturing about seven hours before Venus enters Virgo). Remember what I wrote about other people having free will, too? I think that’s going to be a theme. Anyway, the following aspects are valid a day or so on either side.

Friday, July 12 - Venus/Leo opposite Pluto Rx/Aquarius, 1°07’. We’re rebuffed, rejected, &/or refused. Or, we’re trying like hell to rebuff/reject/refuse someone who won’t take “no” for an answer. Someone else (it’s an opposition) thinks we need to be taken down a peg, or we make that call about someone else. Issues about authenticity and honesty.

Friday, July 19 - Venus/Leo trine North Node/Aries, sextile South Node/Libra, 10°14’. This can be a teaching moment during which we discover that being direct and honest can be just as effective as being manipulative and passive-aggressive. We could charm our way into something, but we could also be a little bolder and more open. And speaking of charm….

Sunday, July 21 - Venus/Leo sextile Jupiter/Gemini, 12°30’. The two “benefics” flowing together can be very lucky. It’s a sextile, so we need to actively do something about/with the good fortune.

Tuesday, July 23 - Venus/Leo conjunct Vesta/Leo, 15°10’. Adds a bit of dedication and devotion to Venus. Might be to an artistic project as well as to a person. We can also work on loving ourselves!

Sunday, July 28 - Venus/Leo square Pallas/Scorpio, 20°57’. Hang-ups and blockages in sexuality and intimacy. Are we coming on too strong? Tension between a creative project and a relationship is another potential manifestation.

Tuesday, July 30 - Venus/Leo trine Chiron Rx/Aries, 23°31’. Great energy for apologizing, and really meaning it. And for forgiving others, too. Make-up sex. Deliberately doing something fun that heals by making us feel happy.

Thursday, August 1 - Venus/Leo trine Eris Rx/Aries, 25°29’. Women’s rights! This is another aspect that encourages us to be honest and authentic. It’s still disruptive, but in a fun way.

Friday, August 2 - Venus/Leo square Uranus/Taurus, 26°51’. About this aspect, astrologer Steven Forrest wrote, “Love and trust should enhance our freedom rather than diminishing it.” To which I add, for both partners equally! Not everyone is going to love us back the way we want them to - and if we keep “picking” people who don’t, we need to ask ourselves if we really want any relationships in the first place.

And since I mentioned it:

Sunday, August 4 - Venus/Leo inconjunct Neptune Rx/Pisces, 29°38’. Adjustments needing to be made - maybe taking off the rose-colored glasses and seeing reality? Disillusionment. A reminder (a nudge) from our spiritual sides.

[jdtrashman]

The Spider-Society can very easily be seen as a dark commentary on Tumblr/Twitter/Tiktok's romanticism for the "found family" trope

This is in response to folks calling Miles' new friends a Found Family and also comic nerds constantly pointing at their favorite Spider-Man and being like "he wouldn't go along with this!"

Both takes are deeply wrong and here's why

Starting with the latter, first off - the mob mentality is a POWERFUL thing. If you think it isn't, look up at any twitter or tumblr drama that got someone booted off the platform. Not any that's recent, think back - if you even fucking *remember* - to one from years and years back. Some may have been justified, like Change The Channel, but often, it was just a bunch of us taking the words of some random stranger, who was most likely a teenager who wanted to start drama for attention, and coming down hard on some poor bastard who didn't deserve half of what was done to them.

Mob mentality is one of the most powerful and historically relevant mentalities in the human psyche. I don't doubt for a minute all those spideys went along with it.

Especially when it comes to my next point. Miles' friends are NOT a found family. Miles HAS a family. A family he loves dearly. He does not need to find a family, he does not need Peter B as a father figure. He's got a perfectly fine father he loves a lot already. What Miles has is this little concept that I think this and other socmed sites tend to forget about called "a friend group". They are his friends, nothing more, and that is totally cool and valid and based and whatever new word you kids have come up with.

Meanwhile, look at the spider-society. They are, among many other things, yet another attempt by Miguel - a deeply, PROFOUNDLY lonely man - to fill a hole in his soul. He has achieved what many tumblr and twitter and tiktok users so idolize - a found family of likeminded people who also share in his trauma and pain.

And how has that gone for him? Oh yeah, it's made him an actively worse person. Because surrounding yourself with nothing but other people who are just as hurt and traumatized as you does not automatically fix the problem. If anything it makes it worse because now your coping mechanisms, *especially* the reeeeally unhealthy ones, have a whole "support" system that does nothing but reinforce them instead of confronting the root of the problem. Miguel, for all the work that has gone into forming the spider-society, is still making the same mistake that got his alternate universe daughter killed: thinking there's a shortcut to fixing your depression.

No wonder all these spideys are going along with this obviously bad idea. They've been brainwashed - not by Miguel, but by themselves and each other mutually - into thinking that the horrible shit that happened to them HAD to happen. To paraphrase Bojack Horseman, they need the damage to be GOOD damage, because otherwise, it's just damage.

Found Families are nice, especially for those who don't HAVE a family that loves them like Miles's family loves him, but they are not a cure-all. They are not an instant solution to your problems. Like any family, they are your partners, not your missing piece.

(and now that I've challenged the found family trope AND ended on a quote from Steven Universe, I have effectively doomed myself to cancellation. Never been cancelled before, should be fun :D)

[fckinwild-kiwi]

Dec. 17th: Ice Skating

Day 17: Shared Hobbies/Conversations at 3 am

Day seventeen of @comp-lady’s Domestic December writing challenge has arrived!

Warnings: Swearing (This is an 18+ blog, minors dni)  Word Counts: 0.7k+ Words Pairings: Steve Harrington x Reader

“Hey, Y/n,” Dustin called from Steve’s kitchen. “Do you wanna play D&D with us next week?”

“I think I’d be free,” I called back.

Steve recoiled as he jumped off the couch. “Since when did you play Dungeons and Dragons?”

“She’s been playing with us since before you, Steve,” Dustin said as he came back into the living room. Steve looked between the two of you, confusion still plastered across his face. 

“I’m sure you have hobbies that she doesn’t know about too,” Dustin said as he rolled his eyes. 

“Well, I like to sing sometimes,” Steve whispered, looking at the ground.

“I’m not sure what’s happening right now,” I said, looking between the two boys who were having a weird nonverbal argument. “Stevie, baby, I know you like to sing. I hear you in the shower every night, it’s beautiful. I enjoy playing D&D sometimes. Why are you both being defensive?”

“The kids made a comment about us earlier this week,” Steve said, looking up to make eye contact. 

“That’s not quite what happened,” Dustin said, crossing his arms as he prepared to start going in on Steve. “We asked him what you two like to do together and he said that you guys couldn’t be bothered with any of the ‘kid’ hobbies.”

“What are ‘kid’ hobbies, Stevie?”

“I just meant-“

“I know what you meant, Steve,” Dustin said, rolling his eyes again. “But it was rude, and it hurt my feelings. I’m not a child and you don’t have to enjoy doing everything I do but you don’t get to make me feel bad about them.”

“Steven,” I said as I stood up and wrapped my arms around Dustin’s shoulders. 

“Look Henderson, I’m sorry,” Steve said, sitting back down on the couch. “I was insecure. Shit excuse but that’s what it was.  You guys have these hobbies that you love and can do as a group. I don’t have anything like that and of course, instead of asking to join I just lashed out...”

“We’ll work on it,” I said, letting go of Dustin and moving towards the couch to sit next to Steve. 

“The only thing I’m good at is ice skating and what kind of group activity is that?”

“I love ice skating!” You and Dustin said in unison making all three of you laugh. 

“How about we go together? We can invite the rest of the party too. It’ll be fun to have people of all kinds of experience levels,” Dustin said, walking to the couch to sit on the other side of Steve.

“If we have enough people, we can even play a quick game of hockey,” I whispered, nudging Steve to get his attention before winking at him. 

“You’re on,” He whispered back, placing a quick kiss on your cheek.

Three days later, the entire party was filing out of cars at the outdoor ice rink. Eddie groaned the entire way about how dangerous this was going to be, trailing behind the group. “Eds, I know you’re kinda nervous, but I can help you out,” Steve reassured quietly so nobody but Eddie could hear him. 

“You’re not going to make a punchline?” Eddie asked.

“Cross my heart, no punchlines.”

Twenty minutes later, everyone had their skates laced up and were walking towards the open ice. Excited to be the first to skate on the freshly Zabonied ice, I raced ahead of everyone. Steve also had the same idea. He raced up beside me, grabbed my hand, and together we skated a lap around the ice careful to avoid the timid newbies as they entered.

After a few minutes of free skating, I raced over to the hockey sticks and pucks lined up along the side of the rink. Steve, noticing my actions, came over to grab his own. On a mission to demonstrate his stick-handling skills, Steve skated down the length of the rink, shooting a slapshot into the net. “Now that I know my man is a hockey pro, we’re going to have to make a point to skate more often,” I shouted across the rink.

His laugh echoed through the room, even over the sounds of skates and swearing. “Wanna see who has better stick-handling skills?” I challenged, raising my eyebrows. 

“I’d say you,” Steve said before winking.

“You’re impossible,” I said, laughing as I skated away. I looked around the rink and I couldn’t help but smile. While Steve and I were having a fun little moment, everyone else was stuck holding on to the railing at the entrance. 

“Okay, guys,” I began, skating towards the group. “Let’s learn to skate!”

[aloevhello]

The Summer I Turned Pretty: Love Challenges

I want to clarify Steven’s argument for Bonrad where he states that Conrad challenging Belly is a good thing, as it’s often misinterpreted into the belief that relationships should be based on strife, when that’s really not the case. I think what Steven means by “challenge,” is that your partner should inspire you to grow and become the best version of yourself, even if that means confronting you and your flaws. Throughout the series, Belly wants to be seen as grown-up due to being babied her whole life, which causes her to act a lot more recklessly than she had in the past. With Conrad no longer viewing Belly as a kid, he gradually starts treating her as an equal, as seen in their late night phone calls where he allows himself to be more emotionally vulnerable with her. Even when they fight, Conrad looks out for Belly's best interests when she’s being reckless or immature, such as Conrad helping Belly up after she yelled at him during his mom’s funeral.

Additionally, when Steven says that Jeremiah’s “easy,” he’s not implying that Jeremiah’s a slut, but that he's a more emotionally available/positive guy for Belly compared to Conrad and thus can be a reliable partner for her. While that’s true, Jeremiah doesn’t motivate Belly to mature, despite that being her main goal. Instead, Jeremiah wants Belly to engage in the same old carefree activities they used to do in the past as he struggles with maturing and taking on adult responsibilities himself, as seen when he’s taking care of hospital bills or is unable to fold his sheets.

Also, it’s important to mention that Belly is a really competitive person (as seen in her volleyball scenes and the boardwalk games episode), so she enjoys being challenged. It’s also mentioned multiple times that she enjoys being uncomfortable as seen when she takes the Sour Patch Kids instead of the Swedish Fish, preferring sour over sweet. Meanwhile, Jeremiah wants to create a positive, comfortable atmosphere, which comes at the expense of creating conflict, a sour but important element of relationships and personal growth. By pairing Belly (someone who enjoys challenge, uncomfortability, and growing up) with Jeremiah (someone who avoids conflict, negative feelings, and adult responsibilities) it’s likely that Jelly would lead to stagnation in their development as they both have different trajectories on what they want their futures to be like and would avoid having a conversation about it due to their immaturity.

On the other hand, Conrad is ready to engage in Belly’s competitive side as he enjoys their one-upmanship of each other. Simultaneously, Belly enjoys it when Conrad challenges her, along with his competitive spirit, as she knows he’ll give the same firepower right back at her. This competitiveness is what drives the playfulness in their relationship as seen in the volleyball tournament, the boardwalk games, and the snowy beach experience they shared together. Even during the more sour parts of their relationship where they argue with each other, it comes from their willingness to challenge the other to be better, with Conrad calling out Belly for her selfishness and Belly confronting Conrad on his communication problems.

It’s also interesting that Steven is saying Bonrad is better because they challenge each other, since that’s the driving force for his relationship with Taylor. Despite Taylor’s longtime crush on Steven, she calls him out on him yelling at Belly during his graduation party, causing Steven to reevaluate himself and his behavior, not just to Belly but also to Taylor who he hurt last season. Then when Taylor reassures Steven and his grief, he sees that Taylor confronting him is an act of love as she’s always cared for him.

There’s plenty of people who want hominess and comfortability in their relationships and that’s a sweet ideal to achieve. But, “The Summer I Turned Pretty” is Belly’s story and a life based solely on stability and sweetness is not something compatible with her personality nor is something she wants. Instead she wants to be with someone who challenges her to grow up into the best version she can be, along with doing the same for her partner. While Jeremiah cares deeply for Belly he isn’t looking to challenge her or mature himself in order to keep things comfortable. Conrad, though, is willing to confront her and improve himself as seen in season 2 when he lets Belly go because while it’s challenging, it comes from a place of authenticity and love, something Belly always wanted.

[battlez0ne]

› # BATTLEZ0NE ▒ a   character   dissection   of   doomsfm's   THOMAS MORGAN ⸺   ₁ ABOUT ₂ INSP ₃ TRACKER.

according    to    our    records,    they    are    forty3    years    of    age    and    their    last    known    status    of    employment    is    mercenary.    our    sources    in    the    field    have    described    their    behavior    as    reticent,    but    assure    us    they    have    the    potential    to    be    principled.    we've    observed    they    seem    to    have    a    personal    attachment    to    a   three   - round   burst   pistol   named   ' matilda ',    though    our    research    on    tommy    has    only    just    begun.

FULL NAME thomas jonathan morgan.  

AKA tommy, tom. HUNK.

AGE forty3.

GENDER cis man.   

PRONOUNS he/him.   

SEXUALITY bisexual, kinsey scale 2.   

BIRTHPLACE columbia, south carolina.    

ACCENT fairly southern, mostly generic american.    

CURRENT LOCATION buffalo, new york. 

OCCUPATION        active mercenary.    commander of alpha team.

RELATIONSHIP STATUS widowed. 

EDUCATION           high school diploma.    trained at rockford island.

FAMILY marcus morgan, father. alexandra lloyd-morgan, mother. david and steven, brothers. elizabeth, sister.

SKILLS expert in gunmanship and military strategy, trained in hand - to - hand combat. skilled in interrogation techniques. is blessed by god to survive anything.

LANGUAGES english , first language. russian , studied.

VIRTUES loyal, honorable, determined, empathetic.

VICES stubborn, reticent, aggressive, sardonic.     

HEIGHT 6′2.     

BUILD extremely strong, sacrificing some but not much dexterity.

ENNEAGRAM type 8, the challenger. 

MBTI isfj, the defender.   

CHARACTER PARALLELS   simon riley ( call of duty ) , john wick ( john wick ) , sierra six ( the gray man ) , ladybug ( bullet train )

SOME WANTED CONNECTIONS       rival ( is canonically nikolai zinoviev, but i think could work with anyone ) , brothers - in - arms ( not necessarily uss, but someone tommy has worked with/built a rapport with )

                     &.     backstory.     tw:    mentioned violence, implied child abuse

₁ thomas was born to surprisingly normal parents. they were both teachers who started having kids way too young. he was the third child in a house too small for any of them. in the most obvious outcome, he was the troublemaker.

₂ military school. a lot of kids like him were sent to one. not all of them got sent to rockford island, but hey, what can you do? thomas exceled with technique. he could run simulations and battle stratagem with the greats. at age 18, in 1996, he graduated at the top of his class.

₃ the first year after his graduation was rough. thomas was often overstimulated on missions, leading him to shut down entirely. he would pull through with sheer force of will, often being the only survivor, earning himself the nickname the grim reaper. eventually, he learned that if he controlled his stimuli during missions, he was able to handle much more. he became completely silent, wore a filtered gas mask, and outfitted his ear-piece to muffle external sound. after learning to accommodate, his mission were always successful.

₄ at age 20, he lead the mission to umbrella's NEST. it went bad, as it usually does, but they did what they could. tommy lost his whole team in raccoon city and was stuck there for nearly a week before being extracted by nighthawk. he delivered the virus safely.

₅ after seperating with umbrella, tommy continued mercenary work. he invented the close quarters quaranted battle zone, and all weapons associated. he remained a legend in certain circles, and whispers still echoed of an omen bringing death to his whole squad, every time.

[thefcguy]

A Prompt that came from a Challenge

(Well, not quite from the challenge of @natedogx15, but it motivated me to post it here)

 This is an AU that involves Indie Horror RPGs (I haven’t played all of those below, but I know the basic plot of most), Winx Club and Steven Universe. The AU of @ask-the-rpg-3 was what gave me the idea.

Besides the dimension of Earth, where us humans live on, there are a lot of different dimensions. Some of them are the Monster Realm, the Paintings Realm, Shadows Realm, Plants Realm, and, most importantly, the Sorcerers Realm.

The Sorcerers come from a Magic Dimension, and they are ruled by the three most powerful sorcerers, who are also immortal. Their society is harsh and cold, where you must obey all the rules if you don’t want to be punished.

These sorcerers, to get more and more powerful, travel from realm to realm to steal their mana/life essence, leaving these dimensions barren and lifeless.

A Sorceress, a long time ago, though, decided to fight for Earth and started a rebellion. Her name was Fran Bow, a sorcerer of the cosmos. Their group name was the Mages of Gaia.

The mages thought against the sorcerers to save the planet and managed to do that… but, there was a cost. The fourth leader needed to be eliminated.

Her three siblings were furious, and, on a last attempt, they cast a curse on most rebels, transforming all of the mages into monsters.

However, these mages left children with dormant magic blood, that only needed a small spark to be activated.

Fran, who protected herself with a powerful enchantment stayed alive and safe.

Years passed, and, for some mysterious reason, 4 descendants, after generations, unlocked their magical potential, and need to be trained by Fran Bow, specially considering the threat of more sorcerers coming back to Earth.

_______________________________________________

Now that the story is explained, time to talk about the magic system. The magic system is similar to Winx, except that there is no difference between wizards, witches, and fairies. They are all sorcerers here with magic transformations (magic winx, enchantix and so on, but no wings).

The main 4 characters are:

- Sunny, the sorcerer of dreams (Omori): He has the power of manipulating Dream Energy (basically blue lantern powers), reading people’s thoughts and so on.

- Madotsuki, the sorceress of absorption (Yume Nikki): She can touch objects and absorb their abilities (like, touching a candle gives her fire powers. Yes, this ability is inspired on her effects of the game).

- Kris, the NB sorcerer of determination (Deltarune): his magic allows him to create a magical aura that enhances his natural abilities (he can get super-strengh and speed, as an example).

- Ib, the sorceress of plants (Ib): she can manipulate and create plans (but Fran is teaching her how to create portals between realms).

 The other characters are not quite their own selves, they are mostly Steven Universe Counterparts:

Fran Bow: Rose Quartz.

Mr. Midnight: Lion.

Ryo (Crowscare), sorcerer of light: Peridot.

Embry (It’s not me, it’s my basement), NB sorcerer of Crystals: Lapis (Being trapped in a mirror kept them as a child).

Amanda (Amanda the Adventurer), sorceress of shape: Bismuth. (Being Trapped on Mr Midnight kept her from aging too).

Aya (Mad Father), sorceress of death: Jasper.

Misfortune (Little Misfortune), sorceress of Dimensions: Pink Diamond.

Venna (Crowscare): White Diamond.

Rune (Crowscare): Blue Diamond.

Alfred (Mad Father): Yellow Diamond.

 The rest, I haven’t decided, but, the one writing it can come up with it.

Remembering that, in this universe: Omori good route events would have happened, Ib’s events wouldn’t have happened, Deltarune’s wouldn’t have happened either (and the monsters would live in their own realm), and Yume Nikki’s events, well… they are dreams that happen time and time again, so, they did, but can happen again (except the ending).

[qnewsau]

Rainbow Bikers QLD celebrate their 1st birthday

New Post has been published on https://qnews.com.au/rainbow-bikers-qld-celebrate-their-1st-birthday/

Rainbow Bikers QLD celebrate their 1st birthday

Rainbow Bikers QLD founder Shane Stevens shares the club’s journey as they celebrate their first birthday in August.

When I founded Rainbow Bikers in Queensland, it was with the vision of creating a safe, inclusive space for the LGBTQIA+ community in the motorcycling world. 

Many gender-diverse individuals found it challenging to join existing motorcycle clubs without feeling out of place. 

Witnessing anti-trans movements and a lack of understanding towards the queer community, I saw a need for an all-inclusive space where people could be themselves, regardless of age, race, gender, identity, or sexual orientation. 

How it began

After being part of various motorcycle groups for many years and riding for over 30 years, I wanted to set up Rainbow Bikers. For two years, I questioned whether I could or should do it.

Encouraged by friends and family, I decided to move forward. I sought advice from other clubs in Australia, the UK, and America, learning from their successes and failures.

A huge help came from Dykes on Bikes Queensland, whose president, Petrea Cooper, and Vice President, Kerrie Anne, were incredibly supportive.

They promoted us, gave us advice, rode with us, and invited our club to their events. We formed a true symbiotic siblinghood, supporting each other as clubs and as human beings.

Growth and community

We started in August of 2023 with just me, and by October, we had 100 members in Queensland. This has now grown to 137 members. 

The same month I founded the club, we saw huge interest from other states and we started Rainbow Bikers SA (South Australia).

That club now boasts 116 active members and continues to grow. It’s incredible and something I never envisaged.

Events and activities

We hold monthly rides on the last Sunday of every month in Queensland, choosing favourite routes and destinations of our riders. We give opportunities for all members to lead a ride if they want to, promoting collaboration rather than one person leading everything. 

Our destinations have included a camel farm in the Scenic Rim, bowling and New Zealand pies on the Gold Coast, a picnic at a spectacular waterfall, and a meet-and-greet sausage sizzle in Roma Street Parklands. We cater to all kinds of riders, from learners to seasoned pros.

There are no fees for joining and the only requirement is that you bring your motorcycle, good vibes, smiles, and ride safely.

We also regularly attend pride marches, starting with Brisbane last year, followed by Gold Coast Pride, Ipswich’s QueerSwich, and the upcoming Logan Pride event

First birthday celebrations

  View this post on Instagram

  A post shared by @rainbowbikersqld

To celebrate our first anniversary, we will have another monthly ride with spectacular scenery, leaving from Mt. Coot-tha and heading to the top of NSW to Woodenbong for a delicious lunch. And who knows, maybe there will be some cake to celebrate.

As we mark this milestone, I am filled with gratitude and pride for what we have achieved together. Here’s to many more years of riding, laughter, and unity.

To join the club visit the Rainbow Bikers QLD group on Facebook or follow them on Instagram @rainbowbikersqld

Read next:

Dykes on Bikes VP among brave firies fighting Qld bushfires

Dykes on Bikes slam group’s ‘lesbian born female’ event

Queensland Leather Pride announce new non-gendered title

For the latest LGBTIQA+ Sister Girl and Brother Boy news, entertainment, community stories in Australia, visit qnews.com.au. Check out our latest magazines or find us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and YouTube.

[savefilescomng12]

Heat's Historic Shooting Leaves Celtics Contemplating: 'We Gotta Respond'

Combing through the Miami Heat's roster won't leave one fearful of the team's three-point prowess. But players good enough to be rotation players in the postseason are starting with a high floor. Erik Spoelstra, the best active head coach in the NBA, and his staff then craft a scheme that maximizes their individual and collective talent.The Boston Celtics have dealt with this in the playoffs more than any other opponent in recent years. The two sides have squared off in four of the last five postseasons, including three of the last four Eastern Conference Finals.In last year's best-of-seven, Miami rendered being the less talented of the two irrelevant. The same goes for the lack of respect shown to the Heat's capabilities from beyond the arc.Caleb Martin, a career 35.7% three-point shooter on an average of just 3.0 attempts, converted on 48.9% of his 6.4 triples. Miami, featuring a roster filled with players not considered much of a threat from behind the arc, made 43.4% of its threes, a critical component of how the Heat raced out to a 3-0 series lead before besting the Celtics in Game 7 to advance to the NBA Finals.Fast forward to Wednesday night at TD Garden, and it felt like deja vu.Martin, relishing the role of the villain and the chorus of boos that came with it after his hard foul on Jayson Tatum in Game 1, drilled 5/6 threes and put 21 points on the board.The visitors knocked down a franchise-record 23 triples, faring 23/43 (53.5%) from behind the arc."(It) may be a coincidence, maybe it's not," Jayson Tatum said of Miami's impressive shooting displays that span multiple postseason matchups vs. Boston. "(It's) something we've gotta figure out, honestly. They hit some tough shots from the three-point line, and some were open. And maybe some easier ones earlier in the game got them more comfortable (and) got them in a rhythm."When Jaylen Brown arrived at the podium after the Celtics' 111-101 loss, sending the series to South Beach tied at one, he also shared his perspective on how the Heat have repeatedly exceeded expectations and compiled impressive performances from beyond the arc against Boston."I think they're well-coached, and I think that's a credit to their coaching staff and organization," voiced Brown. "They put together a good game plan for them, and they come out feeling confident, and they come out and execute. I think that's what they do. And tonight was an example of that. "I just thought they made a lot of shots that we're normally comfortable with, but it's the playoffs. It is what it is, so we gotta adjust and play ball. So, we gotta respond."Further ReadingJaylen Brown on Confronting Caleb Martin: 'Got My Guy's Back'The Keys to Kristaps Porzingis Containing Bam Adebayo and What to Watch for in Game 2Celtics Bench Stars in Its Role in Game 1 Win vs. Heat: 'An Identity of Our Team'Jayson Tatum Discusses First-Career Playoff Triple-Double: 'A Beautiful Game'Celtics Protect the Parquet in Dominant Display in Game 1 vs. HeatKristaps Porzingis Makes Clear What Celtics' Mindset is Entering PlayoffsHow do the Heat Adapt Without Jimmy Butler? Joe Mazzulla Weighs inBrad Stevens Addresses Potential Extension with Derrick WhiteCeltics Embracing Challenge to Go Beyond Most Talented Source link Read the full article

[apexart-journal]

Mvelo Mahlangu in NYC, Day 21

Today, I was going in to apexart to meet up with Steven for my exit Lunch. How did time fly by so fast?! I felt as though just yesterday I had my introductory lunch with Nia and Steven. After arriving at apexart, I spoke with Nia and Ryan for a bit, before Nia said ��ok, lets go upstairs”, with Ryan getting up. I was so confused in the moment and realised that I kept looking at my calendar schedule as “Exit lunch” as opposed to “Exit interview and Lunch”. I felt so embraced but also laughed at myself and then realised I would be doing the interview. Thankfully, Nia and Ryan reassured me that it would be alright and that it was essentially me reflecting on my stay in NYC, but in front of camera as opposed to journalling. This was also the first time I got to see another part of the apex art building and let me tell you! It is so beautiful with its aged features and winding staircase that just keeps going up. We made it to the 2nd floor where all previous interviews took place with all other fellows. Sitting in front of the camera and answering somme of the questions Nia asked had my brain short circuiting. One thing about me, even though I’m able to converse with people I’ve just met, I always freeze up when it comes to anything public speaking related. Nonetheless, Nia had asked me a few question about my experience at apex and among them was the question of what I found most challenging over my time in NY. It was hard to really say exactly what I found challenging but I settled on mentioned how hard I found it to eat out just because of how overwhelming it was to see so many different options around every single corner. So I mostly just cooked my own food. Another thing I found challenging was the notion of finding myself feeling alone at times because even though I made so fleeting connections with people, it was just till the end of the activity we were doing. After that, I had to move onto the next thing. So it was a little bit hard knowing that I most likely wouldn’t see any of these people again unless I came back to NYC and kept in touch with them. That being said, I did welcome the experience of living completely alone because it was the first time I’ve ever experienced that. From living under my moms roof to getting a place with my partner, experiencing a month alone was interesting. 

Thinking on it now, another challenge I realised was how tired I started feeling. I can definitely attribute it to my body still trying to readjust to a routine as well as the constant moving around all day. It's not anything negative at all. Just a realisation again that this whole month I’ve walked more than I ever have in the last year. I think that in itself says a lot about getting stuck in a certain routine and way of life that sometimes needs diversifying. From sitting at a desk editing all day to maybe implementing walking breaks. If I had to share some advice to incoming fellows, especially those who experience a large gap in timezones from NYC, try to regulate as quickly and best as you can. Also be prepared to walk a lot, so stay comfortable. Sometimes prepare yourself for the walks you might pick over taking the subway because of how intriguing the city is :)

After finishing up with my exit interview, I went back downstairs with Nia and met with Steven for the exit lunch. We ate at the same place, right next to apexart office, that I had my intro meeting which I was happy with because the food was amazing. Also its so sweet seeing Steven mention how he knows the menu like the back of his hand. Wags was with us as well. I’ve definitely gotten used to the idea of how wags came to be and still share with my friends, his story. Still amazed by it all. I definitely felt a lot more comfortable and less awkward than I did the first time I sat down and spoke with Steven. One big takeaway from the meeting aside from my experience over the month, was what an amazing job Nia was able to do, coordinating and organising my schedule. I was her first NYC Fellow and I was so happy that she was the person looking after me from afar. I would say that personally I was happy because we were both the same age, people of colour and she’s extremely knowledgable on so much which offers new insight into conversations that we’ve had. Speaking to Steven after my experience so far in NY had me feeling so overwhelmed with gratitude. I’ve come to see that while I alone was invited to join this program, I am able to share my experience with others back home. And in that way, the vision of apexart somewhat lives exponentially past my physical experience. 

So thank you very much for providing such a rare opportunity to me and every fellow that has come before and will come after me. 

After the lunch, I stayed a little bit longer and chatted with Nia, Ryan and Ash before heading to the library screening of the movie “The Big Lebowski”. I really enjoyed talking with the apexart team and getting to know them even more, which lifted my spirits. They’re all such good people. :)

I made my way over to the library and found myself in a small room with a couple other people, and watched The Big Lebowski. I’ve attempted watching the movie before, a very long time ago, but have no idea why I didn’t finish it. So this felt like I was watching it for the first time. The movie definitely made me laugh at times because of the things we find ourselves doing for money. After the movie, I decided to walk back to the apartment instead of taking the subway as it was close and I could see some stores. I got to stop by a thrift store and take a look at what they had. 

[stevenrindner1]

Steven Rindner: Improve Mental Health with Trail Running

Steven Rindner: How Can Trail Running Boost Mental Health

Individuals like Steven Rindner have discovered the multitude of advantages that trail running offers to enhance mental well-being. In this blog, we will delve into some of these benefits.

Stress reduction

The serene and natural surroundings of trail running provide an ideal environment for stress reduction. Physical activity stimulates the release of endorphins, our body's natural stress relievers, while the calming influence of nature helps to soothe the mind.

Mood enhancement

Trail running has been linked to mood enhancement and an overall improvement in mental health. As Steven Rindner and fellow runners have experienced, releasing endorphins during exercise can reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression, fostering a more positive outlook on life.

Mindfulness and presence

Trail running encourages mindfulness and presence in the moment. The uneven terrain and ever-changing surroundings require a focus on the present, temporarily liberating the mind from the worries of the past and future.

Solitude and reflection

Time spent on the trails provides solitude and an opportunity for reflection. Many trail runners find that the quietude and solitude amidst nature offer a chance to think, reflect, and gain clarity on life's challenges and aspirations.

Social connection

While trail running can be a solitary endeavor, it also provides opportunities for social connection. Joining trail running groups or clubs for runners like Steven Rindner fosters a sense of community and belonging, which can significantly enhance mental well-being.

Cognitive benefits

Regular physical activity like trail running is connected to improved brain function, including better memory, problem-solving skills, and creativity. These cognitive enhancements can positively impact mental health.

Self-esteem and confidence

Accomplishing trail running goals and overcoming challenges can boost self-esteem and confidence, improving mental well-being.

A sense of achievement

Setting and achieving goals in trail running, whether completing a challenging trail or achieving a personal best time, provides a sense of achievement that can be incredibly rewarding for mental health.

Trail running is more than just a form of physical exercise; it has the power to positively impact one's mental health. Whether you've been running for years or are just starting, hitting the trails can offer a sense of freedom and an escape from the stressors of everyday life.

Steven Rindner, a seasoned trail runner, attests to the fact that the challenge and unpredictability of the trails provide a rewarding experience that benefits both the mind and body. Exploring nature on foot not only improves cardiovascular health but it can also boost mood, reduce anxiety and depression, and enhance overall well-being.

For more discussions on trail running and its many wonderful benefits, bookmark this Steven Rindner page.

[smol-rat]

I’ve been feeling a bit stuck in a bunch of ways, and I wanted to write it out to see if it helps me unclog my thoughts. I don’t normally do this kind of thing, but I’m in that kinda mood, which is very rare, so I will take advantage while I can.

I feel like, as an artist, I have lots of ideas of what I want to make, as any artist does. And just the same, I can’t find my way to making any of it, or at least what I want. I feel like I’m being railroaded by my own brain into the same kind of drawing every time. I theorize that maybe I’m just scared to try and branch out, or that I feel like I’m not ready to move on to more challenging projects. I don’t have a great track record in terms of actively practicing things like anatomy and backgrounds, natural environments or the like, so I don’t have confidence either in starting any projects with those elements. I have done them, though, I just have not shared them yet, and I don't know if they are any good to share anyways. Like I said, I feel like I am creating the same kind of artwork over and over, which is not a bad thing necessarily, but I also want to branch out and explore new ideas. I have tried to create a kind of “feel” with my blog, the Wander Shop and all, because I wanted a specific vibe to go along with all my work. I know I don’t have to, but it seemed fun at the time to try. Now I am not so sure, but I tend to lose steam a lot on most projects, which I know isn’t new, but it’s also frustrating. I want to create, but I feel so nervous that I stop myself from sharing my work. I also feel like I might be judged harshly because of how samey it may all feel, and how counter it may look to the vibe I’m trying to set. You know, suggestive art and such isn’t a bad thing to make, people love it for a reason and that's fair. But I also don’t like that it’s all I’ve been able to get out for awhile, that my brain keeps throwing this at me. I want to make art of cool action characters, big scale fight scenes like you see in anime, comics of my OCs and their worlds, that kinda stuff. Heck, I have a whole Steven Universe AU storyline that I wanted to use as a way to practice my art and writing skills, with an already established world that I could just build on. I have other projects just like that, and all of it involves characters and storylines and such that I have in my head, it all feels exciting and fun! But I just … can’t get through to making it. I have all the blank pages but nothing to show. Again, I know it's not new to hear this, and I don’t want to complain when I have been able to make decent art already. I just feel like I’m still at step one and can’t find my way forward.

All of this applies to my writing too, where I’m in a similar situation. I don’t know if changing the environment with which I work in would actually help me, but I’m working on getting a new setup for my workstation to see if it may spur me into action, but it's hard man. Add and every other mental illness I have just makes it a nightmare to try anything without feeling like it's going to lose steam eventually. That's what keeps happening too. I barely get started on something before I get distracted, lose steam, obsess over making sure every detail is how I like it, and eventually I get depressed over it. I have tried several apps to help me focus, I know exercise will help me feel better in so many ways, I have already taken drawing classes at college and I have Udemy classes I got for cheap that are genuinely decent that I have peeked into, all that is set aside and waiting, I know what to do. It's not any of that. I just can't feel comfortable long enough to actually get started and stay consistent. Something always gets me off track or bothers me that derails my whole plan.

The obsession over details is big, too, and it’s only been recently that I have come to grips with how bad I think my OCD really is, because more often I have been finding that many of these issues lead back to that. But it also feels like an excuse since others who struggle with the same things can still make good art and write just fine. I don’t know, I’m just stuck right now and am having a hard time sharing anything. I just want to start over with my blog, but I also don’t want to either, but I feel like I have messed up too much to continue with it either. It's so small though, I don’t think anyone would notice me changing a bunch of stuff either. Speaking of a small blog, I don’t know how I even feel about having more eyes on my stuff. I know people will say mean things no matter what, I’m fine with that, and having more eyes on my stuff would of course be cool! However, I’m not sure I could keep up with regularly posting like most artists seem to be able to do. I’m not sure without having changed my workspace. I’m not sure that would even work. It's disheartening because … well … I don’t know, the words escape me right now. I’m already losing steam on writing even this.

I guess the point is I wanted to share my thoughts recently and wanted to vent a bit, but ended up just kinda rambling to no one. It's what it is, I just hope I can make more interesting stuff one day. Right now I feel stuck and like I can’t focus or do anything I want to without my brain defaulting to the same stuff over and over again, even though I would like to expand on what I do. It just feels like excuse after excuse with me. Idk … either way, that's it for now.

P.S., ALso it feels like I can say all of this better in my head, but writing it out and saying it is much harder. It's like I'm more fluent and clearly spoken in my own brain than in real life. Anyone got a lead on why that is? Is it just my OCD or something? Probably, but I’m not sure.

[simslegacy5083]

NSB (Straud Legacy) Gen 8 Ep. 28: An Exotic Love Day

The Story of a Family Told in Web Comic Format

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While the young ones had to fit their romance in after work hours, their elders were free to celebrate Love Day bright and early, on their own terms.

Last year Steven had promised himself that he would go all out and do something exotic next time his favorite holiday rolled around. To that end he’d rented a villa in Tartosa, the most romantic city in SimNation, and invited the rest of team farm to join him and his bride in celebrating together.

Spencer’s early morning guided meditation got things off to a good start, putting them all in the perfect frame of mind to enjoy a busy day of activities.

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Hopping on their rental bikes, their first outing was a nectar tasting being hosted by a local bar.

The sweet juice did not disappoint, though Ed couldn’t resist slipping the young barkeep a business card and inviting them to give him a call if they ever wanted to expand their menu with some fantastic, emotionally charged, fizzy drinks in the future.

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Over lunch at a local food stall a short bike ride away talk turned, as it often did, to the younger generation.

Steven and Ed reported that Tori and Miguel were settling in nicely at the farm, even if they still had a lot to learn. Spencer gushed about Peachy and August’s kindness to Paul, though he was a bit concerned that his sensitive youngest might suffer his first heartbreak while he was away.

Steven had the opposite concern for his own son. He’d seen the way Jack looked at Peachy during the BBQ, but the conversation with his boy at that same event had him worried that Peachy’s fears would cause him to miss out on the fortune of love that favored the bold.

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After their meal the group paired off and split up, wandering freely around the island, enjoying the sights and the romantic atmosphere.

After a long languid day of sweet nothing’s with their beloved, they all came back together late in the afternoon for a dip in the crystal-clear ocean water. The sparkling evening sunlight brought out the youth in the whole crowd, who splashed about joyously.

As the sun dipped towards the horizon, the seniors headed back to their rental for the day’s final celebration.

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Due to her pregnancies Hope was now the youngest among them by quite a few days, but even she had finally reached her silver birthday.

Her old friends welcomed the last member of their original team farm to “The Gray Side” with much fanfare.

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Over more nectar and cake the group decided, as the last of their number reached the last stage of life, that they wished to stay together and watch over their children for a bit longer. They had started their families late, and the kids adult adventures were just beginning.

A lifetime of achievements gave them easy access to potions of youth, so that each of them who had preceded Hope to this last milestone could drink up and guide the young sims near and dear to their hearts through the next steps in their life journey.

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Want To See More? View The Full Story of My Not So Berry Challenge Here