#step outside ever
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smoked 2 cigarettes for the first time in months and felt like a person again
#two was probably too many though because I'm nauseous now#also the first time I've left the house in just as long#like literally i was in the driveway#but i also listened to music i haven't listened to since i left my sister's#and i immediately texted her to say sorry#shits been rough with us#mostly because i was hanging onto hurt from just as long ago#when you're not in your body at all your feelings can't process and dissipate#that's literally all it took#hard lesson to learn and i have to learn it over and over again#sometimes just because things are harder for you than they are for anyone else doesn't mean you shouldn't do them#you can't not do them or shit will suck#step outside ever#it sucks to be human sometimes#it's hard#probably for everyone#anyway
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gideon & harrow OR rd and sf as cowboys please please please
It's the cowgirl necro and her gunslinger cav! Who is so damn extra she's got three guns: one left, one right, and one in pole position! (She swears the ladies love it!)
#You just KNOW gideons makes tons of these 'is that a gun or are you just happy to see me' jokes#She holds the third gun in her mouth#looking so damn stupid but grinning like shes the coolest lmao#how are you even going to shoot girl#also: the paint has to get onto the skin somehow#hmm. lot to think about...#that was such a fun prompt dear ! I ended up enjoying this waaaaay too much <3#gideon nav#harrowhark nonagesimus#I'm not gonna tag it griddlehark but in my mind this IS griddlehark - because this outfit would make Harrow go insane lmao#not that she'd ever let griddle take one step outside looking like that if we're talking serious#but it's a look - a look I LOVE#tlt#the locked tomb#my art#requests
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#aew#hangman adam page#swerve strickland#strickpage#my art#i don't really ever make ship art#so this is a step outside my comfort zone#it's just a sketch but maybe I'll do more 🤷♀️
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meanwhile, Crowley:
Good Omens 2 | ⭑favorite moments⭑ 2/?
#good omens#good omens 2#goodomensedit#goodomensgifs#aziraphale#crowley#nina#s2e5 'the ball'#the NOISE i made when i heard the 'rescuing me' line was embarrassing#(i was very glad the family member i'd started watching with had already gone to bed)#just. i love that we got aziraphale saying this#anyway i didn't mean to start a gif series and disappear for months oops#life was a bit much for a while#also i was annoyed at how captions were antialiased in photopea and i had to like... just step away haha (i'm still annoyed oh well)#also remind me to never do a night-outside-the-bookshop scene ever again. i've done it three times now. and i hate it. so much lol.#i made this#gos2 faves#photopeablr#gifs
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“but if you didnt read aftg for the sports or the romance what did you read it for” is such a good question. unfortunately i am weird and mean and i read it because i like reading about people who are also weird and mean
#many such cases#when people say aftg is not about normal people you meet in average polite society#and im like wow. andrew would be a normal tuesday over here#YOU KNOW#not to be edgy or anything its just that.#mentally ill people with addiction and behavior issues arent as apart from my reality as people seem to think#and they are not as apart from yours either#if youve ever stepped foot outside the garden of uncle sams eden you would realize the foxes are#normal ass people#and sometimes normal ass people are weird and mean#and thats fine#txt
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Thinking about it now, (I forgot….) but were Sasuke and Naruto purposely placed on the same team for the sole purpose of using Sasuke as a tool to control the kyuubi right from the very beginning…? To further place surveillance over Naruto’s life so that they’d be able to keep him on a chain whenever he leaves the village for missions and so on. That’s so ugly…
#Naruto#I don’t remember if it was ever stated at all#you could probably take it that way as well even outside of kishimoto just wanting the opportunity to write them in close proximity of#each other early on in the story to get the ball rolling#but it would make sense knowing the power of the sharingan#using sasuke as a weapon in order to keep Naruto under lock and key without any of their knowledge just in case kakashi faints for the#thousandth time and goes into a come for 3 months again#sasuke would never…#rambling#konoha despite what they’ve done to the uchiha’s would still use a survivor of a genocide in order to step on the neck of another child#it’s gross#I’m glad sns is so real 🚬❤️
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thinking about the economic divide in the outsiders again. sigh.
#god the social divide is bad but it all links back to the economics#the the cycle of poverty all of the greasers get stuck in#they drop out cause they aren’t getting help and take the jobs they are able to get cause it’s that or nothing#stuck at jobs they can’t advance in cause they didn’t get to graduate or go to college#and their parents are broke so they couldn’t afford it anyway and they need them to work to support the family#and around and around it goes again#i can relate this to every single character#this isn’t even mentioning the way poc are affected by this cycle#two bit comes to mind a lot esp with his alcoholism and absent dad#he had to step up as the man of the house ever since he was young (in my canon) and so he had to stay in that cycle#there wasn’t a way for him to get out when everything is keeping him here and he has to support his family#sigh. this isn’t even half of my thoughts but i’ve been yapping hard#just the cycle of poverty they get stuck in. it’s everything#the outsiders broadway#the outsiders musical#the outsiders#sodapop curtis#darry curtis#ponyboy curtis#johnny cade#twobit mathews#two bit mathews#steve randle#the outsiders ace#ace outsiders#ace
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I am never going to get the motivation to watch squid game 2 but TRANS PERSON REPRESENTATION IN KOREAN MEDIA??? Let's goooo!! I have now genuinely seen that happen TWICE in a kdrama and I would never have even dreamed of being able to say that when I was younger
#But also to be fair I don't ever watch kdramas- I could count all the ones I've watched in my life on all my twenty fingers and toes#So there may be more Trans rep outside of the ones I've seen- idk!#But still!! Crazy steps we're taking rn. Very small- but still crazy!#Obv I haven't watched the season so idk how good the rep is- but from what I've been hearing and watching from short clips on yt it looks#Pretty good! I'm choosing to be optimistic because I've seen a lot of people say it's bad they chose a cis person to act the character but#They also have to realize how HARD that would be in an Asian country- especially South K#And even if they did it could become a massive danger / disadvantage to the actor themselves- I can't even IMAGINE the backlash and the#Violence that could be done against them#Considering this is South Korea? I'm taking this as a win. The role is not taken as a complete joke and it looks genuine and maybe accurate#That seems pretty okay first steps to me so far!#Then again- I've barely watched the second season at all- wo take my words with a grain if salt 🤏#my post#sput chatters
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you read one jorge luis borges story and you're like "what the heck just happened, i feel like i almost understand something but im not all the way there. maybe the next one will make it clearer" and then you read another jorge luis borges story and you go "wait wait there was a secret civilisation of immortals doing what" but he doesn't tell you more than what exists on the scant pages you were given so you read a third jorge luis borges story because after all they're really only a few pages each and they do entice you so for reasons you cant immediately put your finger on, and a fourth jorge luis borges story and a fifth and sixth and so on until you feel like the world is a labyrinth that you can only glimpse the truth at the centre of and you're twisting and twining your way through hidden corridors and half-glimpsed mythologies and histories and the world is a wondrous (oftentimes in a terrifying way) place with magic and wisdom and stories that could assail you at any moment if you just open your eyes to them.
and you still think that you almost understand something so you go back and read the first jorge luis borges story again, but also you know that you understand everything you're meant to, because after all one can never know everything that the wondrous labyrinths of the world, one can only experience them.
EDIT: also they sound like what a dream feels like
#there's also a lot of references that im sure would make me able to go one step deeper because my guy looooves cultural reference#to know everytihng you'd have to be funes the memorious and then you'd be unable to ever go outside because your senses wouldn't#be able to take it....#jorge luis borges#also... you would have been so into goncharov wouldnt you#ive been reading him deliberately slowly over the past 5ish? or so months#had a sense of a couple of the stories but not the Style of writing which is just. mind-bogglingly amazing#im reading books#i dont talk about the books im reading that often#feel like maybe this year i should
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So the Seraphim only take orders from certain people they've been programmed to follow (namely the Vegapunks and the Gorosei), but also they do take orders from individuals who possess an authority chip. Between that and the knowledge that the Seraphim are cyborgs, it makes me wonder...
Like, do they have somekinda control chip installed somewhere in their bodies (brain, spine?) that acts as the thing that forces them to follow orders and not act (too much) on their own will? 'Cause would the existence of an authority chip, a thing that essentially "sends out orders", not also imply the existence of something that recieves the order (like other than their brain) and forcibly puts it into motion? Something similar to whatever visual scanner+database combo Vegapunk installed into Kuma that allowed him to instantly recognize certain people and whether or not they were enemies or allies to him (at least as far as the WG thinks)
'Cause if so, like. I wonder. Could you remove that chip and basically free the Seraphim from being just borderline-mindless flesh robots?
In that scenario... what would they become?
Because, like, we don't know how much Free Will the Seraphim even have, how developed their minds are? Are/would they be fully functional human beings (if immature because they're still kids) who have just had half their mind essentially turned off so they don't think about anything else except following orders? If you freed them from the WG's control would they be able to live and function freely just like Stussy's clone can? But when being under that kind of control is all they've ever known, would they know how to function? Like what do you do, where do you go, who do you become? Who are you to begin with, does that even matter? What about your relation to the person you were cloned from, what does that mean? Are you doomed (🐊🦩🦇) or expected (🦈🐻��🦅) to become just like the person you were cloned from? Do you even want that? What will having that kind of freedom to do and become whatever you want even mean to someone who has never known what it means to even want something for themselves?
(But also, depending on who you were cloned from, would people even trust you enough to allow you go free and live your own life, or would you be deemed a threat by simply existing because you are the clone of a horrible, heinous person?) (Of course, we know existing is not a crime, and no one is born into this world a criminal. But we also know the World of One Piece does not always think this kindly)
#Moon posting#OP Meta#Also how likely would it be for S-Croc to have removed his control chip on his own because he didn't want to take orders anymore#Like I doubt he'd try Brain Surgery on himself so it'd have to be like. Relatively accessible to him. Surely. Like somewhere on his spine#Probably not on the outside though ala Raimi Doc Ock. Like it'd still probably inside the flesh#I'm just saying if there was any particular Seraphim who'd seem The Most Likely to break free from the WG's control#I'm sorry if I'm incoherent I think I caught a cold lmao#Like I'm thinking about poor S-Bear and like. On one hand I'd love it if he could get along with Bonney and stuff#But also like S-Bear is not Kuma. He shouldn't even be considdered Bonney's (step) brother like they don't have to be family or anything#So imagine if people's expectations of what S-Bear should be like based on Kuma were projected onto the poor angel#Or the expectations of becoming Honorable Powerful Men was forced onto S-Hawk and S-Shark while knowing they don't compare to the OGs#Because they're ''just clones''. So they can only ever exist in the shadows of their DNA donors#Or the Naughty Boy Gang being doomed to become horrible nasty people who will massacre and oppress innocents for their own gains#I'm just. The Seraphim are so INTERESTING. I'm so curious about them
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Made another spindle. It's very small. Also very irregular and lumpy due to the wood (I wanted the raised brown lines to stay and erred on the side of caution in how much I cut away...but that did lead to a very irregular spindle).
It also wanted to crumble as I carved, so pretty much all the fine tuning I just did by sanding it, which helps to compress the fibers down as well as remove material without crumbling or splintering.
It really came to life when I oiled it. Probably will be best after a few good coats and some time. My woodburning kit seems to be totally gone, which is a bummer. So I'm not woodburning anymore.
Spins well. Obviously being so tiny and light it was always going to be a fine spinning spindle, but effortless thread from an unprepped piece of fleece is pretty indicative as well. I seem to find myself carving mostly thread spindles at the moment. They're always so small and light in the hand, they remind me of holding baby birds.
#hurt a lot and its the only physical task ive managed today in any capacity#and it exhausted me and im falling over frequently#just from walking the 20 steps to my lawn chair outside the gate and whittling a small spindle#my sister was suggesting activities we could do but they all require holding things really#can barely even hold my phone to type rn#i also cant stop wondering if each spindle is the last i will ever be able to carve because they are so difficult#and take a pretty heavy toll on me. really upsetting to think about because i love whittling#and in an ideal world i would spend a significant amount of time in pursuit of making spindles#but i can't and each one is more difficult and painful#this one i was wondering at what point it becomes unsafe because i lose precision with the knife#when the pain is so bad im dissociating#which i was#switched to sanding instead then#idk man. could i have a shred of certainty about my body ? is that so much to ask for ?#things change and get worse so rapidly i never even have time to adjust to my new norm#there is no norm just rapid decline#i wouldnt have pushed thru the hell that was my teens and childhood if i knew this was what was next#oh well. here i am. whittling spindles thru the blinding pain anyway#what else can you fucking do#spindle making#whittling#supported spindle#vent in tags
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Actually the Original Plan was for Buffy to end in Season 5, but sinister External Forces [the production company that made it and Buffy's creator and showrunner] randomly stopped that from happening [by engaging in a protracted and very public bidding war over which network would host future seasons of the show while Season 5 was still being written, which WB lost and UPN won, as a result of which the production company earned significantly more money than they had for previous seasons].
#btvs#the perennial 'the original plan was to end after The Gift' talking point can be disproved with five minutes on a decent search engine#as can variants like 'WB cancelled/was going to cancel the show but UPN stepped in and rescued in'#it's just not true! it's demonstrably not true!#yes WB didn't renew the show for a sixth season but only because they wouldn't match Fox's demands for more money#demands which Fox was only making because they knew that UPN could and would match them if offered#(and crucially WB _would have_ renewed the show if Fox hadn't asked for more money)#UPN had commissioned two new seasons of the show weeks before The Gift ever made it to air!#nobody watching The Gift in 2001 would have thought it was the last episode (unless they'd been living under a rock I guess)#nobody had some grand artistic vision for The Gift to be the last episode that was cruelly thwarted by outside agents#stop accepting assertions of random Tumblr posts as facts and repeating them without question#(except my posts: those you obviously can trust with your life)
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Red, I'll go.
#his gem is really pretty here. catching the light very nicely#he can just kinda do stuff and they dont ever really explain why or how and i love that about him#like did he have a fake emerald from the beginning because he's always 20 steps ahead or can he just dupe shit if he wants to#he can go invisible so duplication does not seem that far outside the realm of possibility#maybe anything is possible through the power of holding akamas hand. we'll never know#goggle v
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Going to restaurants with my mother is a valid form of torture. She is allergic to asking the server questions so she'll ask me instead like I fucking work there. "Can I get this well done?" Most likely. "What does this taste like?" Dunno, never had it. "Why does this cost more than this?" Because the owner hates you personally omfg shut up.
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i just finished mag160 and ao3 is DOWN someone kill me
#the magnus archives#tma#ao3#this is the most tumblr thing i've ever said#maybe i should take a step outside#nah
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I set up a light trap in my yard to try and attract a lady friend for one of my two male rhino beetles but I found another male instead.. so I guess I have three male rhino beetles now! I’ve given him some beetle jelly to snack on in his temporary home and he seems to be enjoying it :]
#he’s the dumbest little guy ever. I was standing outside and heard a CLUNK and it was him landing on a metal step ladder#he was totally unscathed from the crash landing but was COMPLETLY covered in cobwebs. like there were other dead bugs stuck to him#he was also infested with like 30-40 little white mites on his underside but I found a guy on youtube demonstrating how to clean them off#just gently ran him under some tap water and brushed the mites off with a spare soft bristled toothbrush#I actually specifically use that brush for cleaning mushy banana off my other two rhino beetles bc they’re the worlds messiest eaters#anyway I’m gonna name this one Webster bc of his affinity for cobwebs. I’ll buy an enclosure for him tomorrow and make it up nicely#gardeneticisms#creature photography#creature husbandry#insects#beetles#rhinoceros beetles#xylotrupes australicus
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