#stede please come back to me

[natjennie]

thinking again about how no one on planet earth could do stede bonnet justice quite like rhys darby and his funky autism swag.

[greykolla-art]

We all just wanna draw this one picture don’t LIE TO ME!

Picture me: sitting on my kitchen floor, playing Kate Bush and staring into space.

Perfect. Absolutely breathtaking.🤌❤️‍🩹

[ughmyheart]

If a third OFMD season is impossible to get atm they should do something else! Like a theater adaptation! Just to get them all together again! Imagine how incredibly fun it would be to see it live! With a script that is open to improv! I would travel anywhere to see that!!

Or what about "two seasons and a movie"?

[talktonytome]

What if after seeing Stede, Ed starts hyperventilating and ends up breaking down in the tub again. Stede goes after him, but climbs in with him this time and holds him until he calms down. He wipes away his tears, gently murmuring, “there you are” Ed sniffles, “you came back 🥺” and Stede replies “never left” WHAT THEN

[saltpepperbeard]

Be a Lighthouse - Fight For OFMD Season 3

Hi everyone. The news of our cancellation is both incredibly devastating, and quite shocking considering the trajectory of the show and its fanbase. Everything looked like it was lining up in a positive fashion...only for the rug to get yanked out from under us.

I cried. I went numb. I stared at the wall for a while.

But then, something sparked. Like Ed who was resolved to his fate in S1Ep4 only to rocket back upwards, I was struck with a realization: we need to be a lighthouse!

Fanbases have campaigned before, and have gotten results. Sense8 was able to get a two hour finale to properly wrap everything up. Lucifer was able to get picked up by Netflix after being cancelled by Fox. Brooklyn 99 was able to get picked up by NBC after being cancelled by Fox. And many more examples.

Be it a proper renewal, a finale wrap that entails Ed and Stede's wedding, or the attention from another network, I say we fight that good fight. So, here are some ways we can be heard; if you think of any additional points, please feel free to add them!

If you don't cancel your Max Subscription, continue watching the show and leaving feedback on Max's online feedback form. I had a kneejerk reaction when cancellation was announced and pulled the plug...only to sit back and reconsider. I want them to still get my metrics. I want them to still see the show means something to me. And whether that's through words or statistics, I feel like that's something.

2. Follow @renewasacrew and keep up with their resources/campaigns. They're very active and passionate, and have already come up with different ways to fight for our show.

3. Sign the petition to give us just that little bit more of a chance to have our voices heard.

4. Stay active on social media, and stay positive. Continue sharing how much this show means to us. Continue creating. Continue loving. Use hashtags like-

#RenewAsACrew

#SaveOFMD

#RenewOFMD

#BeALighthouse

#OFMDSeason3

or anything equivalent on any and all OFMD-related posts. Keep the buzz about it going on social media. Comment on posts, keep spreading the word, and get the light burning.

5. Renewasacrew has given us another outlet; an official HBO email address. Write an email detailing your personal experience with this show, and how significant a third season would be.

6. Tweet/email other platforms to pique their interest. Be it Amazon Prime, Hulu, Netflix, or whoever else, let's see if we can't catch someone else's attention. A romcom with iconic LGBT representation seems pretty enticing if you ask me!

This show means the world to me. Y'all mean the world to me. So let's show them why. Let's show them why, and get the proper ending we, the cast and crew, and the characters all deserve.

[fuckyeahisawthat]

I love how much of OFMD s2 is about do-overs and second chances. Like obviously the message of the whole show is "you're not too old and it's not too late" and "everyone is capable of positive change." But I love how many specific moments the characters get to do over from their missed chances and fuckups in s1.

Stede tells Ed to wait for him in the woods while he goes back to the ship to convince them that Ed can stay another night, and it's so obvious that Ed is scared af that Stede is not coming back, that he'll be left waiting for Stede alone in the dark again. But Stede does come back! And invites Ed to come with him this time. "You wear fine things well" but this time they both know that's an overtly romantic line, they get a do-over of their almost-kiss missed connection and this time they do kiss and they both know how much it means. The lyrics of "This Woman's Work" that they use ("Give me these moments / Give them back to me" and "All the things we should've said that we never said / All the things we should've done that we never did") in the context of the scene get transformed into hoping against hope for another chance, just come back to me and I'll say and do all the things I was afraid of before, please give me another chance to make it right. And they get it.

Even Izzy fucking Hands gets a do-over of his worst moment from s1, acknowledging the harm he caused and getting to touch Ed's face and say "there he is" in the context of telling Ed to go live his authentic life.

And of course Ed and Stede at the end, Stede saying without hesitation that he has no second thoughts, that he's sure this time, and we know it's not about running an inn or any other scheme they might cook up together but about building a life together.

When we talk about OFMD as a kind show or a hopeful show this is the kind of stuff I think about. It's not that no one ever suffers or dies or gets hurt or fucks up; it's that the characters can fuck up massively but they get another chance to keep trying, together, keep swimming toward the light even when things look real dark. I know you've got a little life in you left.

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

It's not funny anymore. I'd like for Stede and Ed to come back to me please. We can't have heard them giggle at each other and be so insufferably in love it annoys everyone in their vicinity for the last time

[adickaboutspoons]

Read this post, and now I've got a scenario without a story stuck in my head and I'm going to make it everyone else's problem Biker Ed & his buddies are refueling at a gas station when he notices a (smokeshow) posh-looking guy walking into the attached convenience store. He gives Jack a friendly shoulder-check. "Bet I can get his number." Last night Jack got digits from 2 (crazy hot, but, accent on the crazy) ladies at the bar, & he's been insufferable ever since. "What? Fancy Britches over there?!" Jack hoots, following it with a raucous guffaw. Ed swivels his head around; surely Smokeshow heard Jack, even though he & the boys are clustered around the pumps furthest from the door, but, thankfully, Smokeshow is already inside. Jack gives him the side-eye. "You're not serious, right? Since when is that guy your type?" Since Ed laid eyes on him & he instantaneously punched every single one of Ed's buttons in a way that no one ever has before. But Ed snorts & shrugs, "Yeah, nah. That's what makes it a challenge. Like. Does that look like the kind of guy who want to give a guy like me his number?" Ed desperately hopes he's the kind of guy who will give Ed his number. And his address. And his fucking hand in marriage, maybe. "Let's make it interesting," Ed says, & that got Jack's attention. "20? No. 40 bucks says I get his number." For a long moment Jack doesn't say anything. He regards Ed, & Ed's half certain he's sussed it out - that Ed isn't after a challenging mark to prove to his friends he can pull whoever he wants; he's desperate for this to work & more than a little terrified that it won't - psyching himself up by adding stakes so the fluttery fear in his tum won't talk out of taking his shot. If he doesn't get a move on, whole thing'll be moot. He feels the enormous weight of the seconds as they tick away. Jack scoffs. "Yeah. Why not? You crash & burn & I get your cash. You get his digits, & I get a good laugh when you busts his chops for thinking he ever had a chance. Sounds like a win-win to me." Ed tries not too look too eager when he scuttles across the parking lot. Smokeshow comes out the door just as he's reaching for the handle. He gives a little startled "Oh" then hurriedly steps to the side, holding the door for Ed to go through with a soft, polite smile. Oh fuck. Up close he's gorgeous, & that smile? It teases out a dimple on one side that Ed wants very much to kiss. "Uh. No. No thanks," Ed stammers. He clears his throat. "I'm Ed." Smokeshow is still smiling, but confusion crinkles his brow. "Nice to meet you, Ed. I'm Stede," he replies. "Wanna do something weird?" Ed says, half-expecting Stede to break into a dead run. Stede isn't running. Stede is leaning closer, his eyebrows hiked with interest. "I just bet my buddies $40 I could get your number. If you do me a solid, I'll split the bounty with you. Just write a number on my hand - doesn't even have to be yours." Please please please let it be his. Stede laughs &, oh god, he's even cuter when he laughs. Ed's heart stutters in his chest. "Well... Do you have a pen?" Ed does have a pen, but with the way his palms are sweating he's pretty sure the number is going to be completely illegible in, like, 3 seconds. Stede is done writing, but he's not letting go of Ed's hand. "Um..." he says shyly, "do you thinks a little kiss on the cheek might really sell the bit?" Ed is not going to have a number written on his hand anymore because his body is going to simply vaporize, but he just nods & says "Yeah. Sure. Good thinking." Stede leans in & as his lips brush against Ed's cheekbones (fuck his lips are soft. Does he just, like, endlessly apply chapstick or), he whispers, "Number's real. Give it a ring and we'll work out a time & place to split the loot." Then he's gone. By the time Ed's brain catches up to this fact, Stede's car is turning right onto the highway. Ed's brain must have hitched a ride or something, because he has no idea how he got back to his bike, or what Jack is whinging about as he grumpily stuffs $40 into his hand.

[teeny-tiny-revenge]

It's home cinema manufacturing time! 🏴‍☠️ Gonna put my pirate show on my shelf! (I'm doing an Arts and Crafts Project and I'm making it everyone's problem.)

After seeing how much they cost, I abandoned the idea of getting a Blu-ray writer for now. For the time being, good old DVDs is what it's going to be! My TV is old and not very big, so DVD resolution is gonna be fine.

It's been ages since I last burned a DVD. For the full experience, I'm gonna create nice menus and pretty sleeves for the boxes. Graphic design is my passion! Um.

Well. First needed to find a program to do stuff with. I'm a Linux guy, so I'm using Devede. (Which is free, btw. In case someone else wants to do a low cost spot of putting pirate show on the shelf.)

DVDs fit a maximum of 120 minutes of video. So, four episodes, I thought. But after a quick attempt, the program refused to do more than three (maybe because of the menu also taking up space, and four episodes cutting pretty close to the 120 min mark?). Anyway, three episodes per disc it is. It's a pretty nice runtime for watching the entire disc, IMO. An hour and a half, and then you can return to reality to realise you should probably eat something, or go to bed because it's midnight.

OFMD with its current two seasons has a total of eighteen episodes, which is divisible by three. You get the following setup:

Disc 1: Pilot, A Damned Man, The Gentleman Pirate - That's pretty good, Stede's introduction to piracy all on one disc!

Disc 2: Discomfort in a Married State, The Best Revenge is Dressing Well, The Art of Fuckery - All bangers. Great to watch together, our boys meet and shenanigans happen!

Disc 3: This is Happening, We Gull Way Back, Act of Grace - Many romantic moments, lots of great scenes, shit hits the fan at the end there. Alright!

Disc 4: Wherever you go, there you are, Impossible Birds, Red Flags - ... Pain and angst! What have I done!?! The disc of horrors. Gotta make sure to have tissues at hand when I watch this. But hey, it also has messy bun Ed! Small mercies.

Disc 5: The Innkeeper, Fun and Games, The Curse of the Seafaring Life. - Another disc with all winners. I love all these episodes so much! (You can watch this disc to recover from the trauma of the previous one!) But seriously, this one slaps.

Disc 6: Calypso's Birthday, Man on Fire, Mermen - Great combination again. Season finale! Love and excitement!

... Honestly, except for the psychological damage of putting all the most painful episodes together, this is coming out pretty cool. Says a lot about how good the show is. I actually really love all the episodes (yes even the painful angsty episodes of massive depression). Thinking about this little project really reminded me how much I love this entire show.

So, we got a tracklist, now menus, then we can burn this stuff!

I did the menu backgrounds in GIMP. Realised I have a big folder full of screenshots I took myself, screenshots someone else took and posted on Tumblr, official promo pics for the show, and I have no idea anymore where most of them are from, because I named the files according to what's on them. Which is useful for when you want to find pics (Need a picture of cursed suit Stede? I have files named that, easy peasy!), but not so great if you wanted to give credit to whoever took a given pic you used. (It's probably @sherlockig or @ofmd-ann or @blakbonnet. Please feel credited, your beautiful screens and gifs brighten my day, and some of them are now probably part of my DVD menus. Shrunk down and cropped, but, yeah.)

I originally wanted to structure my menus as having the title of an episode, then some pics from it, then the next episode, then pics from that, and so forth, but I couldn't convince the program to give me the necessary padding between the menu items, so I ended up just putting the episode images below the menu. Still like it.

Anyway, DVD menus can also play sound! Behold a crappy video of my beautiful creation (provided entirely for sound):

It plays Gnossienne N°5!

More crappy pics of my other disc menus:

Gonna make them some nice sleeves next. Some day. Gotta make sure they all work properly first. So. I'll be on my sofa, watching my DVDs. With menus! (Edit: here are!)

[starlithumanity]

I don't even know what you can say to the people who somehow missed that all of Ed's violence is a) anti-imperial, b) protective against direct repeated threats to himself and his loved ones, or c) self-destructive in the hopes someone will respond by killing him during his suicidal spiral. (That last example is fairly indirect and performative and comes from a place of severe nihilistic suffering.)

I don't know what you can say to the people who somehow missed that the violence is triggering and traumatic and exhausting for Ed, and that he is desperate for a chance to live differently but has also never known any other life. Stede gave him the one true glimpse he's had of something gentler! Ed didn't fully know how fucked up his life was before because that was normal to him. That's what growing up traumatized does to you.

I don't know what you can say to the people who somehow missed that the suicidal spiral is a result of Ed's circumstances: of Ed being threatened by Izzy after Izzy repeatedly found ways to force Ed back towards the violent life Ed wants so much to escape, of Ed losing his one glimpse at safety and happiness through Stede and now having to face the darkness knowing he nearly found something different, of Ed feeling like the only way he can survive in this world is by being an "unlovable" monster he hates--and then he's confronted by Izzy telling him he's still not getting it right. Of course Ed gives up then.

I don't know what you can say to the people who somehow missed the show's themes about how much harm is caused by toxic masculinity and by masking your true self and by cultures founded on trauma and self-hate and burnout. (You do see the burnout in Ed, yeah?)

I do get why some people might not understand the complexities of Ed's relationship with Izzy--how codependent and enmeshed their identities are--or the layers of symbolism that position Izzy in the story as a metaphor for traditional pirate culture and its harmful impact. (Which is particularly triggering for Ed on a daddy issues level because that's his original trauma.) If you understand those things, the unique nature of the physical harm Ed does to Izzy in this story makes even more sense.

Ed also frequently communicates through metaphor himself. Him cutting off Izzy's toes is not only a show trying to convince Izzy he's playing Blackbeard right and not only a response to Izzy repeatedly threatening Stede/continuing to threaten Ed, but also is meant to physically represent the harm that Izzy has done emotionally to Ed. Ed is communicating to Izzy the only way he knows how anymore: "See how it feels to be forced to lose parts of yourself? Stede was a part of me. My hopes of softness and joy were a part of me. You cut those off too."

There is so much evidence against the thought that Ed is some irredemable, monstrous lover of violence who will hurt Stede someday. Stede would have to repeatedly and directly threaten someone else Ed loves first (which Stede won't do), and even then, Ed would really have to fight with himself.

It's not his nature, y'all, and I'm so frustrated that some people keep insisting it is. I'm frustrated about what that says about people's ability to empathize and consider reasons for or contexts behind behaviors--particularly when the character in question is an openly queer and likely neurodivergent indigenous man. Is it so hard to have compassion and forgiveness for him? Please don't get stuck in that punitive, dehumanizing mindset.

Redemption is so important, which is why I appreciate that Izzy gets a growth arc once he stops centering his entire identity on the Blackbeard persona and clinging to toxic masculinity. (Seeing Stede's impact, how different things could be, vs. the harm caused by the traditional ways, changes Izzy too!) Izzy's time, as a side character and mentor figure and piracy metaphor, does end, but first he gets to live with more meaning and unlearn many of the negative behaviors. That's the goal, right? To move forward.

[dimplyowl]

I’ve been giving a lot of love to Ed (rightly so) in the last couple weeks and I think it’s time for some Stede love.

Stede working hard to make their new house a home. Not having the same hands on skills that Ed does to fix and repair things, and while he’s learning, he’s also turning his attention to what some would consider the more frivolous aspects of home improvement. Whenever the crew drops by he sends them off with requests for things like paint, rugs, art, trinkets, fabric, and they do their best to fulfill these requests.

And Stede is proud of the work he’s been doing, bringing some material warmth into their home. But he also can’t help feeling like he isn’t pulling his weight. All the things he’s working on, they’re not necessities. They don’t need pretty teacups the way they need a stable floor. Nice curtains aren’t as essential as fixing up the windows. Scratchy blankets keep out the nightly chill just as well as nice soft ones do. And what’s the point of a soft cushy rug if the roof has a giant hole in it?

He doesn’t bring his worries up to Ed. He can’t. Ed’s been working so hard, and Stede is doing his best to help him, but Ed’s spent his entire life on a ship, doing repairs, making sure it’s seaworthy, livable, safe, and he’s so skilled in a way that Stede is just. Not. And Stede is learning! But sometimes he feels like more of a hindrance than a help.

He’s thinking about this, sitting on the porch, idly mending some of their clothes, when Ed drops down from the roof right in front of him, lithe as ever even with his bad knee. He’s nearly done patching up the roof, he tells you, and that there shouldn’t be any more problems with leaking anymore, “so all the stuff you’ve been working on inside won’t get fucked the next time it rains.”

And suddenly Stede is furious with himself. Because he’s leaving Ed to have to do all this work himself, because he’s a soft little rich boy who never learned to do anything important, because the only thing he knows how to do is pick out art and china and wall colors and none of it is important.

“Perfect. As if any of that stuff matters,” Stede mutters.

“What?”

Stede throws his sewing down with a frustrated sigh. “I’m sorry that you’re saddled with me, Ed. I’m sorry that I’m just…a useless lump who can’t even fix a door latch.”

Ed looks bewildered. “Whoa, okay, what? Where is this coming from?”

Stede feels the familiar prick of tears in his eyes, and he shakes his head in frustration. “It’s coming from me not being able to contribute anything to this. You have to do all the work to make this place livable, while I can’t do anything except pick out a color for the curtains.”

“Hang on, love, wh—“ Ed frowns, furrows his brow. “Livable? Stede I’m not the one making this place livable, you are.”

That’s so ridiculous that Stede nearly laughs. “Please. I haven’t done anything to fix this building up. Everything I do, it’s all just frivolous. Decor and comfort. A new coat of paint on a falling down building.”

“Babe, seriously, actually, what the fuck? You think that doing these repairs, fixing the roof, whatever, it’s making this place livable? I mean, survivable, yeah, but livable?” He sits in his own chair, pulled up right next to yours. “Yeah I’m fixing shit up to give us somewhere to keep the rain off our heads and the bugs outside and make sure the building doesn’t collapse, but like. Fuck man, who cares about all that? If all we have is a place to survive, then what even is the point of all this? I don’t just want somewhere to live, you know? I want somewhere that’s ours, that feels homey and soft and warm and cozy, and has all the things we like. And that’s all you, Stede. You’re building a place that gives us a reason to stay, to come back to it.”

Stede stares at him. “You…you really think that?”

Ed laughs softly. “Yeah, babe. I mean, fixing the roof? Whatever. There’s fucking roofs everywhere, we could be under any roof. But what makes this home, what makes it ours, and special and shit, fuck, that’s all you. Like. Tea is tea, you know, but it tastes so much better when I’m drinking it out of the cup that you picked out for me.”

The next time the crew comes by, Stede has an entire list of things he wants them to get, and he doesn’t even feel bad about labeling the entire list as essentials.

[vonnawithav]

I don’t like romance in movies

Now, this is totally personal opinion and preference, so please keep that in mind when reading.

“I don’t like romance plots in movies”

That sounds so weird I know. Especially when this entire blog I dedicated to one ineffable couple I’ve hyper fixated on ever since I offhandedly watched a random show on prime when I was bored.

There’s lots of things I don’t like about the idea of stereotypical *ahem, usually heterosexual* romance, and one of those things is the perceived intensity of attraction.

While I understand it to an extent, I also don’t. On the few occasions I’ve been romantically interested in someone I’ve never had the urge to rip their clothes off and jump their skin, or marry them that afternoon.

I do however, want to show them my book collection, send them obscure memes, talk about that one scene in that one show I can’t move on from yet, listen to them talk about their passions, share romantic but subtle moments, and just generally enjoy each other’s company.

Maybe this is because my lack of neurotypical tendencies, my demisexuality, or just my queerness in general, I don’t know.

But this type of romance is rarely shown in media, (again, in my personal viewing experience), especially in straight media.

You’re probably wondering what the fuck this has to do with movies. Same honestly I lost my train of thought one sec-

Ah yes.

Romance in movies feels immensely rushed to me. There is no time to sit and talk while you watch the sunrise, there cannot be an entire episode where the entire plot line is your traumatic childhood and how you two can bond over the fact both of your dads left for milk and never came back, or your wooden frog collection.

Noooo, instead, there must be this instant inexplicable attraction that causes both of your hormones to go haywire, because the plot only has two hours to not only get through this plot line BUT the other three in the background.

For romance to work in my head, 👏🏾I 👏🏾 Need 👏🏾 Bonding 👏🏾 time 👏🏾.

That’s one of the many reasons I love OFMD and Good Omens so much, we get to see that bonding time.

Ed and Stede chilling while having breakfast in bed while they look at each other lovingly?

Goals.

Azira and Crowley sitting and enjoying a good bottle of wine while talking about the end of the world?

Never seen anything better.

I think romance is at its best when subtle and calming, not frantic and unnerving.

Don’t get me wrong, I think franticness has its place in romance, especially once sexual tension has begun, but there needs to be large spaces of comfort and safety in between. (In my personal opinion)

Alrighty then, I’ll be off.

Lmk if you see where I’m coming from, or if I’m just posting insane ramblings because I’m sleep deprived and recovering from a cold 🥲.

[areyoudoingthis]

@babykittenteach I hope you don't mind, your post inspired me to write a thing.

Ed frowns when Stede first brings the things home. They're small and brown and shriveled, and he doesn't get why Stede is so excited about them.

But then again, he doesn't get gardening as a whole. Getting down in the dirt, digging where the creepy, crawly things live. He doesn't get Stede, who owns five different kinds of lotions for his face and hands alone, enjoying getting dirt under his fingernails that is a nightmare to scrub out later.

But he does enjoy the results of the whole thing. He enjoys the pretty, colorful flowers, the way they perfume the air around the house. He enjoys watching Stede dig around in his patch for fresh vegetables, and the excitement in his face and in his voice when he brings them over to Ed and shows them to him like they're his most prized possessions. He enjoys coming up with recipes to cook them, and he enjoys the pleased smile that blooms on Stede's face when he eats the meals that Ed makes with the food he grows.

So what does he know, maybe this is another one of those things he doesn't understand but will get to enjoy later.

He forgets all about Stede's ugly brown bulbs, distracted by domestic tasks and warm evenings spent by their new fireplace and the work that still needs to be done to get the house ready for the colder months. He only remembers them when, on a damp winter day, when he's tired and grumpy because the humidity and the cold are giving his knee grief and keeping him up at night, he spots tiny dots of colors bursting through the dead winter garden.

He calls out to Stede, and the usual excited look is back in full force when he sees what Ed is pointing at.

“It's the bulbs I planted, Ed! They're usually the first thing to grow when everything else is still brown and sleeping until spring. I used to love going for walks and watching out for the first bulbs of the season when I was a kid.”

He goes on to explain that if he lets them, they will reproduce and next year there'll be even more of them. Suddenly Ed has something to look forward to next winter.

Within days, their garden is awash in color again, even though everything else is still weeks from turning remotely green and the cold will keep hounding Ed's achy joints for a while yet.

He sits on the porch with a steaming cup of sweet tea every afternoon in spite of the weather though, and lets the bright, happy results of Stede's hard work cheer him up until the spring returns.

[saltpepperbeard]

THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS AND THEORIES™ ABOUT THE NEW OFMD PICS:

So first of all, absolutely crying and throwing up over seeing Stede in more "stereotypical" sailor clothes as opposed to his usual attire. Secondly though, he looks to be surrounded by fine things, and it makes me wonder if he's attempting to barter for something? Maybe get a little SPECIAL SOMETHING FOR HIS SPECIAL SOMEONE???

And then this one kills me so hard because it looks like a message in a bottle. Is this an attempt at reaching out to Ed? Have they been trailing and failing to catch up with the Revenge, and this is Stede's attempt at trying to make contact? Or is this a message from Ed to Stede, a heartbroken warning to stay away? Regardless, SCREAMING.

AND THEN THIS ONE. SMILEY FACES. MATCHING OUTFITS!!! Maybe they've paired up with another crew and are temporary members? Like, in order to try and catch up with the Revenge, they had to team up with another ship/crew?

........if i speak

y'all already know that season 2 ed has led to MANY a breakdown already hsdjks. and i will be visiting this picture a little too much. but if i can CATCH MY BREATH A SECOND-

The pearls. And the fact that his hair is back. And the fact that his face is clear. AND HIS EARRING IS STILL THEERRREEEHSDJKLS.

He still looks hardened/heartbroken, but this look makes me think that conversations have happened, and maybe the first "healing seeds" have been planted.

And this maybe has me going the MOST bonker bananas because omfg.

Ed and Jackie. And Ed looking so much softer in comparison to the previous picture. Ed out of his leathers. Ed just VIBING. ED AND JACKIE JUST CHILLING.

I cannot express how many times I've pictured them talking, and pictured Jackie being like "You have the hots for WHO?????" Like if this is a moment where Jackie is having to be That Friend, aka the disapproving one of your friend's partner type deal HSKDJS LIKE,,, I HAVE ENVISIONED THE CONVERSATIONS SO SO MUCH.

And if they're watching Stede in that moment, if Stede is doing something silly stupid which is making Ed pull fond eyes and making Jackie pull a "wtf" expression like that,,, please. PLEASE.

I'm just.

My heart is so full. My crops are watered. My skin is clear. My depression is lifted.

And I cannot WAIT to see what all is in store for us. I cannot WAIT to see what all comes to light.

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

I've got a way more fun and much less racist conspiracy theory if anyone wants it: the whole show is Ed and Stede telling the story of how they met and got together to their grandkids while they're babysitting. That explains the over-the-top nature of it, they're trying to keep kids interested in a fun pirate tale.

In real life, Ed and Stede opened up coffee shops right next to each other. Stede's shop had multiple chandeliers, one time Izzy went in and Stede told him to fuck off and Ed was obsessed with that. Ed saving Stede from the Spanish was actually him swooping in to fix Stede's many, many health code violations.

Izzy is still equally as intense as he is in the show ("I was honored to work for the legendary Blackbeard, the most genius part-time Starbucks manager I'd ever known"). He still tries to kill Stede (tries to hit him with his 2006 Chevy Malibu) so Ed fires him. Izzy then just straight up calls the cops on the coffee shop, which is annoying but ultimately doesn't go anywhere because, again, they run coffee shops. Stede has his crisis after Ed admits he's thinking about selling his shop because running it is just stressing him out so he goes back to Mary; they end up finalizing their divorce papers after like 30 minutes.

Ed's feeling bummed and can't reach Stede on social media, so he feels abandoned and reaches out to the crews of their shops for companionship. Izzy threatens to call the cops on him again and he freaks out because he realizes this mean little White guy is totally willing to weaponize that against him.

Ed's "kraken era" in "real life" is just him firing Lucius and then "marooning" Stede's crew by changing the locks on Stede's coffee shop so they can't get in. He tries to force the crew to unionize against him and force him out of the coffee shop he hates running by making them work overtime. He starts talking about making them work a big Black Friday-esque sale and Jim just throws a bag of coffee beans at his head with expert precision and knocks him tf out.

Stede finds the crew loitering outside his shop and they go to sort things out like five minutes later. He finds Ed just fucking face-down on the kitchen floor. They take him to the hospital, Ed has to pretend to let Lucius be his boss for like a week, and for the rest of their lives every time Ed suggests something Jim doesn't like they say "don't make me bean you again, old man."

The rest of the show is them trying to translate how they navigated building their relationship into their pirate fantasy. Characters like the Badmintons and Ned Low are blatant wish fulfillment on old bullies. Season 2 feels rushed because the kids' parents are coming to pick them up soon so they have to hurry. Izzy dies in the show because they just fired him in real life but they wanted to give the kids a moral story but panicked and had to think of an out so the kids don't ask where he is now.

Do I have hard evidence for this? Don't worry about it. Yes, I know I'm a genius, please hold your applause.

[stedefxckingbonnet]

I've been loving all the Izzy/reader fics, thank you so much for them! If you're doing requests, I'd love one where Izzy accidentally hurts the reader. It's 100% by accident (he turns around holding his sword and mildly slices reader, a playful shove accidentally makes reader lose balance and fall down steps type thing etc.). The crew, especially Stede, are furious and won't let Izzy anywhere near reader and he's absolutely wrecked with guilt. Would love a very fluffy ending!

Thank you so much for all of the love and for reading my fics at all!! <3 It truly means everything to me. Thank you so much for this request also—I know some of you have been wanting some more angst from me (with still happy/fluffy endings of course hehe, at least this time...maybe one day I'll try my hand at pure angst but I'm not sure today is that day), so I figured this would be a great prompt to start with on this sort of an endeavor! Plus, I just love it so much anyways, ever since it first came into my inbox I've been thinking about it. Thank you so much again for your request, and I hope you enjoy! Though like I said, please bear in mind I don't have the most experience with emphasis on angst so I apologize if this is not very adherent to that! Anyways, as always, requests are wide open!

Love,

Lavinia

Star-Crossed | Izzy Hands x Reader

Warnings: angst (with a happy ending but it takes a bit to get there), mentions of blood, some strong language, kissing, sort of already established unspoken relationship but also not 100% established right away

Word Count: 3912

Finally, the sun shone once again and not a single cloud was etched into the sky any longer. The crew of The Revenge almost forgot that sunlight even existed and were becoming accustomed to such foggy, grey skies forever—but, finally! Everyone was filled with such jubilee upon the sight and were quick to show it by chasing each other around on the main deck, swinging from ropes, dancing, plotting to convince the captains to grant them all a day on land to bask in the sun's rays—everyone except the first mate. Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed Izzy Hands leaning against the mast pole—no, slumped against it. You excused yourself from the gathering and rushed right over to Izzy, who stood up a bit straighter upon your arrival.

"I'm not going over there."

"You always have to have the first word, don't you?" you teased. "Do you want to, perhaps...get away from all this for a moment?"

"That wouldn't be so bad," Izzy shrugged, following your lead as you scurried off the main deck and into the hallway below that led to the quarters. "What are we doing here?"

You drew your sword from its sheath, smiling playfully. "I've practiced since we last dueled."

Izzy couldn't help but return a grin, fetching his own blade. "Is that so?"

"Why don't you see for yourself?" you inquired as you slashed the air. Izzy bowed impishly, to which you accepted with a curtsy, giggling. Your duels often were much like dances—precise footwork, synchronized, graceful movements across the floor, eye contact—lots of eye contact. The clash of the swords was like music to your ears, but Izzy's exasperated laughter was a much more magnificent melody, though followed next by your own ear piercing scream.

Izzy's worst nightmare had come true—there you were, bent over in anguish, clutching your stomach. Blood was all over your hands as you tried to stop it from gushing out of you. It was a deep cut and you had not actually been stabbed all the way through, though you still were going to need to be patched up sooner rather than later. Izzy's sword slipped out of his hands as he rushed over to you without any hesitation, scooping you up in his arms and placing his hand upon your left side to try and stop the bleeding. He rushed you back up to the main deck, guilt taking over him with such ease. His eyes were glossy, tears threatening to slip out of them.

"Some help over here!" Izzy demanded, and the crew all simultaneously turned their heads. Everyone sprinted to your side the second they heard his call, and saw your state.

"What happened?" Stede asked, his voice wavering.

"I'm okay, Stede," you managed to laugh, followed by a groan of pain.

"Clearly, you are not," Stede sighed. He turned to Izzy, a hand on his hip. "Izzy, what happened?"

"We—we were just dueling, and—"

"You hurt them?!" Jim spat. "Roach, will you—"

"Already on it," he assured them, carefully slinging your arm around him as he dragged you off into the distance.

"I didn't mean to—"

"Not another word, Izzy," Stede shushed him.

"Stay away from them," Lucius hissed as he walked off with Pete. Jim practically shot daggers out of their eyes, and Olu just sort of frowned. Izzy had never felt so defeated in his entire life. He immediately holed himself up in his quarters, draping across his bed almost lifelessly, hoping he would never have to emerge once again, not with the knowledge that he had hurt you so terribly and that the crew thought of him as some sort of monster. He was almost okay with them just being frustrated or annoyed by his presence, but being perceived like this created a deep wound in his heart he never expected to experience. If this is what he gets for truly trusting someone again, showing them a tenderness he had never felt for anyone, he did not want it.

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

Roach got you all patched up in no time and he anticipated your healing time would not last longer than a week, two at the most. You were never too worried in the first place, and as much as you appreciated the crew's care toward you, it felt as though they had blown the situation out of proportion. The first thing you yearned to do as soon as you were free to roam the ship once again was to find Izzy, as you knew he would be worried and probably swimming in his guilt. You nearly ran over to his quarters, though Stede popped out from out of nowhere, startling you.

"Stede! Fuck," you laughed. "You're quite...stealthy."

"I suppose so," he laughed with you. "How are you feeling?"

"Oh, much better. I never really felt too bad in the first place," you beamed.

"Well, that is a relief!"

"Yes," you nodded. "If you'll excuse me, I'm going to see Izzy now—"

"I actually don't think that's very wise."

"What? Why not? He didn't mean to hurt me, Stede—"

"—But he did hurt you—"

"—Hardly, and it was an accident—"

"I will not allow Izzy to see you."

"But—"

Out of nowhere, Jim and Lucius appeared, gently clinging onto your arms but with enough force to drag you away. You kept yelling for them to let you go but it was no use. They would gently assure you it would be for the best—at least, Lucius tried to be more gentle about it.

"You're better off being far away from that fucker," Jim muttered as they brought you back onto the deck. The entire time you squirmed, trying to escape their and Lucius' grasp. "We're going to Spanish Jackie's today."

"Fuck, you're serious? Might I remind you, she almost killed you last time!" Olu sighed out of a deep concern for Jim.

But this was perfect for you—the perfect opportunity to stay on the ship and talk to Izzy. You wouldn't let anyone stop you. Before you knew it, The Revenge had docked, and you had it all planned out. You followed everyone off of the ship, but stopped in your tracks just as you were about to walk off, which caused Buttons to bump into you, though obviously he was unfazed.

"Is everything alri—" Stede started to ask.

"I forgot my book," you feigned a gasp. "I was going to sit on that rock over there and just get lost in it for a bit."

"Well, who am I to stop you from grabbing it?" he smiled pleasantly.

You nodded gratefully and hurried down to the cabins. You knocked on Izzy's doors, knowing he was still in there.

"What is it," he spat.

"Izzy, can we talk?"

The prolonged silence was beginning to cause you to believe that he wanted nothing to do with you, until finally, he swung open the door. "You shouldn't be here."

"Yes, you should not," Stede almost chided, his voice suddenly heard from behind you.

"This is ridiculous!" you cried out as Stede practically forced Izzy back into his quarters and slammed the door shut.

"Let's have a nice day on shore, shall we?" Stede sighed happily. "It's such a beautiful d—"

Before he could finish his sentence, you had already stormed off the ship, and you were having the opposite of a beautiful day. Your heart only ached for the rest of it, yearning for the first mate and to reassure him and to rekindle things, to let him know that all was well on your end. You craved to stop the incessant self loathing and blaming you knew he was putting himself through. Yet all you could fucking do was feign a smile while everyone drank their own sorrows away, some almost even drinking themselves to death.

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

Weeks had passed you by, each day dragging painfully slowly and wasted wondering if they would just end any sooner, wondering if the day where you even got to think of breathing a word to Izzy again would exist and come. The crew still fixated eyes on the both of you, doing everything in their power to keep you away from one another. Jim didn't hesitate to physically drag you away if you even tried to go near him, and Pete would even try to threaten Izzy (to which, Lucius would step in and take over, saying things such as: "You're cute, babe, but I've got this. Not worth your time.")

If you couldn't talk to Izzy, you didn't want to talk to anyone. You were perfectly content sitting by the window of your room curled up with a good book, away from everyone until you absolutely had to be amongst them.

Why couldn't they just listen to you? Why did everything have to be so black and white? Why did it have to be handled this way? Why did it have to be this difficult? Sure, Stede would discourage Jim's literal dragging you away ("Surely there are better ways of handling this...") but he never stopped it. He still stopped you from seeing Izzy.

Finally, you couldn't ignore the fact that you were parched and so you slipped out of your quarters. As you did, you noticed the first mate also exiting his. The two of you stood there for a moment, flabbergasted, taking in one another's presences. You opened your mouth to speak, but Izzy was already shoving right past you. Without thinking, you latched onto his wrist. "Izzy, wait—"

Izzy escaped your grasp instantly, looking vacantly upon you. You prepared something to say once again, but Izzy wouldn't hear any of it. He didn't need to hear from you of all people that he had caused you harm. Or, almost worse—that you didn't hold it against him. He would understand more if you did share the feelings of the crew, but not if you forgave him. The thought made his head spin—fuck, he wanted you to forgive him, he wanted you to know he never meant to cause you any pain. But he knew it wasn't worth it. He knew that as long as you were around, you would be beloved either way and better off without his love and care, and he would be hidden away in the dark from everyone, left to rot and be forgotten about, and when remembered, ridiculed. He almost wished that someone would just berate him directly instead of having to see you every single day and how everyone's attitudes shift when you are within close proximity of each other. How the environment grows more tense. How no one is stating the obvious of not wanting him there. He wasn't stupid, he knew. He knew for a long time before any of this even happened, and it only had gotten worse now.

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

There came a point where you and Izzy were allowed to speak, but only in supervised circumstances. He immediately deemed this not worth it, so, it elt as though you were still forced to succumb to the previous, awful arrangement. It had been almost two months since the initial incident and with every accidental brush of the hands and every almost smile and every stolen glance, your heart only hurt more, you only pined after him even more. You missed the warmth he brought you even on the coldest days. You needed the confirmation of your feeling safe that he was able to provide. The two of you were finally growing almost attached at the hip but now you were torn apart, pieces of yourself still stuck on him and you needed those parts of you back. No, you needed them to exist still, but only if you could properly share them with Izzy.

You couldn't take it anymore.

Every day, you saw the expression that Izzy displayed on his face for all to see—pure misery, regret, and even this sort of grief. This loss for something still there, though, not at all tangible anymore. You became a ghost that didn't even haunt him, but only lingered at the expense of unfinished business with him. He could never comprehend that you longed to speak with him just for the sake of it, for your own enjoyment. That wasn't possible to him, it simply didn't seem in the cards.

You really couldn't take it anymore. You couldn't endure him avoiding you like the plague, even if he was acting on behalf of the crew's wrongful wishes. You couldn't take the way he looked at you with such a hope and desire, yet such a soul-crushing defeat that he gave into ages ago.

"You got a minute, Captain?" you asked Stede as calmly as you could the second you finally forced yourself out of bed for the day.

"Why, of course!" Stede beamed, excited that you were about to confide in him about something.

"We need to talk about Izzy and I."

Stede only sighed, leading you to his own cabin and not saying a word until he was certain the door properly shut. "I am only doing what is best for your safety—"

"Izzy makes me feel safer than anyone on this ship," you confessed. "He is always looking out for me, no matter what. He would never let anything bad happen to me. I was so happy the sun had finally come out and I just wanted to have a bit of fun so I asked Izzy to duel, it's just something we do sometimes for fun. He didn't mean to injure me, but I'm sure he already feels bad enough as it is with you all treating him like he needs to be locked away forever—"

"I appreciate you trying to look out for him. You have always seen the best in people—"

"Stede, is that Romeo and Juliet on your shelf?"

"Why, yes!" Stede nodded, forgetting the true subject of the matter for a moment. "It's such a tragic story."

"Isn't it?" your lips curled into a determined smile. "So sad that the two families kept the young star-crossed lovers away from one another. All because of some sort of unnecessary family feud...Well, they were naïve anyway to think their children wouldn't still find ways to meet and fall even further in love. Maybe if they had been accepting of their love, they wouldn't have died so young and so devastatingly..."

Stede wasn't quite catching on yet. His hand flew to his chest, clearly touched by your sentiments still "It is sad."

"Stede, you are quite literally pulling a Romeo and Juliet on Izzy and I...do you not realize that?"

Suddenly, it all clicked. Stede's mouth practically unhinged from his jaw. "You...you love Izzy?"

"We have...we have a bond and it goes beyond him just trying to do his job. He really does look out for me, and I've really grown to care about him and I worry about him whenever he's off on the side or seems really distressed. Even on my worst days, being around him is enough to almost make me forget about my troubles. I feel so...so at peace when I'm with him. I really don't worry about anything when we're together. And keeping me away from him is really doing a number on me—"

"It was wrong of me to try and keep you two apart," Stede sighed. "I thought I was doing what was best for you, but only you know what is best for yourself. I'm so sorry."

"Thank you, Stede," you smiled slightly. "If I ever really need something, I promise I'll tell you. I don't take "talking it through as a crew" lightly."

Stede returned your smile. "I don't understand this at all...but, this is your own endeavor. We just want you to be happy."

You quickly pat Stede on the back as you bursted out of his room and made haste towards Izzy's. You knocked on his door with utmost urgency. No response. You continued to knock until finally, Izzy had enough and swung open the door, almost causing you to stumble upon entering.

"Izzy, are you alright?"

"Are you?"

"You barely nicked me," you assured him, shutting the door behind the two of you. "Izzy, I am okay. Please, don't feel bad."

"I don't think you should be here right now—"

"But Captain Bonnet said—"

"—Just go...Please."

Your heart was beginning to sink into the depths of the ocean in your chest. You could only manage to look at him—he who had such a glossy look in his eye, accompanied only with an expression of nonchalance. But you could see that he was hurting—you knew by the way he was hunched over and fiddling with his glove. Izzy could hardly look at you without wishing he could disappear. He had hurt you, and everyone went flocking over to you instantly, not even bothering to hear his side of things, nor even yours, where he knew you would have defended him, though you still were acknowledged more than he had been. But worst of all, he had hurt you—and he would never be able to recover from that. Never be able to forgive himself for it. And, he knew no one else would, either. He wouldn't blame you if you didn't, either. You made your way over to him slowly, sitting beside him.

"Look at me," you pleaded.

Finally, Izzy's eyes met with yours. All he could see when he gazed at you was the pure concern, the pure care in your pupils. How could you still care for him after what he had done, and after the crew painted him to be some sort of a villain even more than before?

"I'm okay," you reassured him. "You didn't hurt me. You didn't mean to. I'm the one who started the duel, and—"

"Don't fucking blame yourself. It was me. All me."

"Izzy, please—"

"I think you should leave."

Such a statement felt like a knife through the heart.

But all Izzy truly wanted was for you to engulf him in your arms as he allowed himself to cry against your shoulders. He wanted to apologize and beg for your forgiveness. But it just hurt too much. He felt as though he didn't deserve that. You were the only person who is able to see him for who he is, and even still, he felt as if he didn't deserve you, nor your understanding, nor your fondness.

Part of you somehow knew that Izzy didn't mean what he just commanded you to do—it felt like even further of a plea to stay. You hovered your hand above his arm, and he ever so subtly nodded—yes, please. You began to gently rub his arm, even trying to massage some of the smaller knots out. "I'm not going anywhere, okay? Never. You will never scare me away. It's because of you that I feel so safe—but it's not only that you are an exceptional first mate. You are so much more than that to me."

"But I hurt you."

"You have never hurt me. Ever. Hell, you're the one that picks up the pieces when I do get hurt."

Izzy turned away from you, unable to control the droplets flying out of his eyes now. You could tell he was crying, but you knew not to overdo it with making sure he was alright. You carefully moved in a bit closer to him, resting your head upon his shoulder.

"I never meant to—"

"I know, Iz, I kn—"

"Let me finish," he requested gently. "If not for your conscience, but for mine. I become so afraid of hurting you and of messing up with you that I did. I didn't mean to, but I still did. I'm sorry, is all."

"Izzy, are we talking about the same thing anymore?"

"I don't want you to think I'm a monster, too," Izzy whimpered. "I know...I know I've done some things I'm not proud of. Things I wish you never had to know about."

"But I still love those parts of you. They are parts of you. But, they don't have to define you, either."

"You...what?"

"What?" To say you were confused was an understatement.

"You...love those parts of me?"

"I love you. Dammit, Iz. It's always been you," you sighed, happiness washing over you just as much as woe and a slight worry he wouldn't reciprocate your sentiments had.

"You...what?"

"Is that the only thing you say now?" you laughed nervously.

"I have this instinct I can't fight off and it's to look after you in ways I wouldn't normally look after anyone else. If anything ever happened to you, I'd blame myself, and I have."

"What are you saying?"

"I...think you know."

"I think I do, but maybe I don't—"

"Oh, fuck off!"

"Izzy, I really don't know what you're trying to say—"

"I love you."

You laughed, relief overcoming you. You gently took his hand in yours, stroking his thumb with yours. "This isn't a bad thing, you know. I don't want anyone else. I'm glad it's you, Izzy."

"The crew isn't going to be happy about this—"

"I talked to Stede, and fuck whatever the rest of them think," you shrugged. "What do they know?"

Izzy chuckled, gently pushing a strand of your hair behind your ear with his free hand. "Fuck them."

"Fuck them so much," you laughed as you leaned in, unable to stand the distance between the two of you anymore, and nor could Izzy. The anticipation not only from the abundance of time that passed the both of you by and all you had were glances which you could only hope communicated something, but also since the moment you met and especially since your connection began to blossom, shone through in the kiss shared between the two of you. This moment felt long overdue and you now wanted not to waste anymore precious time—you couldn't afford to. Your heart began to do pirouettes as your lips danced in sync. You had never been so certain about what love could mean for you until Izzy Hands waltzed into your life.

And your touch, your kiss made Izzy feel the most beautiful and understood that he ever had. As he melted into the warmth your affection and his excitement emitted, he no longer felt like a monster but rather a person, someone, worthy of such love and tender care. This wonderful phenomena was only centimeters away from him the entire time he spent withering away and conforming to all other beliefs of his character, believing the slander and the accusations, almost becoming them. With you, he was able to let go of these perils, to escape the shackles restricting him from seeing the person he truly is and could be. To leave the past behind in such a way not reminiscent of denial, but the refusal of allowing it to define him and hold him down. He could care less what the crew thought. For once in his life, he was happy, and no one, nor nothing should even dare to try and take that from him. You surely wouldn't allow anyone to. You were prepared to protect him just as he continued to do for you. And as long as you were around, happiness wouldn't escape him. Not anymore.