#staying cool with COPD

[mukathospital]

Struggling with COPD symptoms in the summer heat? Learn how high temperatures and humidity can affect your breathing and discover practical tips to manage COPD during summer months. Read more at https://www.mukathospital.com/copd-in-summer-management-tips/

[faunandfloraas]

Hoping the concert falls on a cool October night but it's 30 degrees right now in august and even the breeze is hot so......

[awitchandawanderer]

Why I like Franky.

I really like Franky because I didn't get to have my twenties. I was a full time caregiver for my sick mother at 19 - 22, (she died of complications related to cancer treatment) then from 22-29 full time caretaker of my grandmother (she passed from end stage COPD) and from 29-current I'm still full time caretaker of my grandpa who is 91.

I met my spouse online, (online was my only escape) we were married in 2022, and my health started taking a nosedive. It hadn't been great even before that, but I am stubborn and push myself until collapse. But I'm likely going to be in a wheelchair before I'm 40, I use a cane, or crutches outside of my house because my balance and ability to stay on my feet is pretty much nonexistent. I'm partially deaf, Chronic pain, chronic migraines, IBS...

I didn't get to enjoy being an adult until it was too late for me to be active and comfortable in my own body. I will never be able to hike part of the Appalachian Trail. I will never be able to go see anything that isn't ADA accessible. I never got to go to parties, or do stupid things. I went from a controlling abusive household, to one year of college on my own, then back to that abusive household for reasons I won't get into.

That year in college, I discovered I love to run. I ran 2 miles every morning, even though it hurt like hell. I loved it, I felt so free!

I will never be able to run again.

I will never be able to go up and down stairs without pain, or without people looking at me like I'm disgusting or stupid for having to frantically hold on to the rail and put both feet on each step so I don't fall.

I like Franky because in some part, he is me. He was young, and able bodied, and free... And then he wasn't. And now, he has a body made of metal and circuits, the limbs that carried him are gone. The eyes and ears that saw adventure in everything are powered by batteries and tiny speakers.

Franky isn't just the cool punky cyborg. He's a quadruple amputee, his internal organs are half replaced by machinery. Every day has to be painful, not just physically, but mourning the version of himself that was obliterated.

But he's smiling. He's making jokes, he creates, and destroys, and gives life. He is full of love and kindness and joy and he is surrounded by people who are just as broken as he is but in different ways, and they're happy.

And God's I want that. It gives me hope.

[ladykatakuri]

Currently, we are between melting and suffocating from the weird heat we have in this country. Somehow , our spring and summer can never be a little normal, but have to start off with extremes when it comes to weather in our type of climate.

Currently, we have summer heat , which would be great, but here we have more moist in the air and it is hell for those with , for example COPD. My mom having this is not having a good time.

Brother and I are taking care of her ofcourse. Instead of being home, I am staying with them and helping out. Silver lining: despite the weird weather and the effect it has on people, we still manage to have good times and enjoy things as much as possible.

Currently binging Cold Case series, oldie but still good to see while hanging on the couch and hoping for something cool lol.

When the weather permits, we take mom out in the wheelchair and enjoy a little walk or go to the stores and just enjoy spring/summer.

The cats from my moms neighbours also seem to enjoy the outdoors and the fence, always great fun with these 2 around!

So in short: I might not be as active right now, but I blame the weather and the fact that I am between melting and wanting to jump into the fridge and read a book there ....

See ya all soon again while more active and keep warm/cold/cool/hot, whatever floats yer boat !

[benairvd]

7 Reasons Why Air Conditioners Should Be Available in Healthcare Facilities

Have you ever been to a place where there is no air conditioner? Though they may sound okay, you can feel the heat breezing around, making you sweaty and sticky. Having a handkerchief or a towel may not be enough because of what you are experiencing. With this, air conditioning installation Wollongong services are known to many. But if there is one that needs to install air conditioners, it is healthcare facilities. Here are the reasons why hospitals and clinics should have air conditioners:

Patient Comfort

Healthcare facilities have many priorities, and one of them is making sure that their patients are comfortable and safe. To do that, providing an air conditioner to every room is needed. Notice the improvement in the air quality because the aircon is clean and there is enough filtration. If everything is in good condition, it can remove dust, allergens, and pollen, making the air easy and clean to breathe. However, if comfort is not what patients feel despite having an air conditioner, understanding the common problems of the appliance is necessary.

Temperature Control

Keeping the temperature in check is necessary in establishments like hospitals because every patient has needs that can affect their comfort and health. Maintaining indoor temperature in air conditioners can promote correct and better cooling, removing the heat from the place and making it convenient for many. Thermostat programming and temperature sensors are also available. If you do not know about these things, there are air conditioner technicians who are willing to help and share what they know.

Medication Storage

Many medicines can be sensitive to temperature and need to be stored in a room where there is correct temperature and humidity. To ensure it will not get damaged, having an air conditioner is necessary. The ventilation and air quality can also be crucial to these, especially if there is a risk of airborne contaminants buildup. 

Recovery Enhancement

Patients need all the care they need to recover from the ailment. To ensure they are comfortable during their stay in the healthcare facility, having an air conditioner in their rooms is necessary. Some might be using a centralised air conditioning system, and it is also okay. Patients will have comfortable sleep because they do not get sweaty and sticky. There is also reduced swelling and inflammation because there is proper blood flow in the body.

Elderly Patients

Elderly patients are more sensitive to temperature because of their age. So, if they are inside the hospital, one thing the management can give is comfort and well-being improvement. To achieve this, having an air conditioner is necessary. They can sleep properly and prevent respiratory issues from occurring. Elders who are suffering from asthma and chronic obstructive pulmonary disease or COPD can be the number one victim of lack of air conditioner.

But even if there are positive effects, negative effects can also occur in elderly patients. If they are not used to being exposed in a room with an air conditioner, they might feel dry skin and irritate. Some might also experience having dry eyes, and the noise of the aircon can be too loud. If you notice that the elders are in this state, let the management know and let them take the appropriate steps to take care of the elders.

Paediatric Care

Aside from the elders, kids also need to feel comfortable while staying in a healthcare facility. They have positive and negative effects, but they should be open about what they feel to ensure that the doctors and nurses take the correct and appropriate steps.

Staff Productivity

Just like in offices, the hospital and clinic staff can improve their productivity if they are in a workplace that thinks of their well-being and situation. Having an air conditioner can help them work properly, considering that they have the means to focus and concentrate on what they are doing.

Healthcare facilities need all the resources they can get to ensure they attend to the needs of their patients and their loved ones. Having an air conditioner in this place might sound normal to nothing, but it has a huge impact on the safety and recovery of the patients. And for the staff, their ability to work properly. The air conditioning system has a touch on the overall quality of the services of the facility.

[brodie-483]

These days I feel stuck in a fog, surrounded by people telling me what to do and me doing anything I can to make them happy. But I don't feel happy anymore, especially because people want different things and it's so draining listening to people suggesting and telling me what I should be doing.

My girlfriend has been pressuring me to move across the state to live with her. In a small country town where i will have no family or friends nearby. Where I will have to quit my job I already have and start all over again. She has already proceeded to buy a small unit on her own without even talking to me. But she is enslaved with her own family duties, she spends more time with her family than she does with me. I only get to spend about 12 hours a week with her and that's only on weekends. We hardly get to spend any time together because of her busy schedule and her family commitments.

Her family spend so much time together, especially her mother who I find intolerable at times. It's like she has to revolve her whole life around her kids. She can be so judgemental on her daughters boyfriends and we all feel it. Whenever we have hard days at work, like everyone does and we want 5 minutes to unwind or complain she shows no empathy or interest in our lives yet expects us to listen to hers and abide to her every demand. To be honest, my girlfriend wants me to spend couple of nights at her family home but I feel so much negativity there. I like my girlfriends sisters, they're nice and cool. I feel like us boyfriends are kept around to serve and work for them and I'm honestly fucking tired of it.

I fully understand her family commitments BUT she wants me to abandon my commitments to my family. I am 27 years old and still live at home with my mother and brother. Mum has Stage 4 lung disease (COPD + Emphysema) and I have been caring for her all my life, I don't recall any time she was physically healthy. For the past 3 years, her and I have been trying to find any caring health services who would provide care such as helping her shower, help her with her oxygen tank changing, do cleaning around the house, help with her shopping. I'm not able to help as much as I would because I work night shift full time therefore I sleep a lot during the day. But mum and I have had no luck with finding anyone who would provide that type of care because she is a couple of years under the age of 65.

My brother who is older doesn't care at all about my mum's health troubles, he stresses her out just for asking him to pay fortnightly board. Then when asking him to do house chores, he doesn't do it. He is so lazy, all he does is smoke, game or watch YouTube videos for hours on end.

I've grown so tired of having to listen to everyone else's opinions, issues and thoughts yet when I try to bring anything up I get ignored or made out like the bad guy. I suffer with Bipolar type 2 and BPD so I already have a difficult time with my own head. Then all this external trouble just pushes me further to the edge. Honestly, I just want to disappear and be left alone. I feel like a failure to myself and to everyone in my life. I feel like no matter what I do now, I'm going to be hurting someone.

I really don't know what to do anymore, to be honest I just want to give up at this point. Am I a bad guy? Am I a horrible son or boyfriend? What should I do? Do I move away to my girlfriend or do I stay at home to care for my dying mother? Please if anyone could provide some advice or guidance I would be very grateful.

[kelandry5]

MASK TIPS FOR BREATHING PROBLEMS AND ANXIETY ISSUES!!

Wearing a mask can be difficult if you have breathing problems like copd or asthma or even problems like anxiety and autism. I know. I’ve had some of those issues. But there are ways for you to still keep yourself, your family, and your community safe!! Here’s some helpful tips I’ve gathered and tried.

A face shield. These are great if you struggle to breathe in masks! They may not be the most fashionable thing but they may actually be better than masks and they are a great alternative. You can find them on Amazon or Etsy for as little as 7 dollars though there are some nicer ones if you’re willing to pay a little more. They even have cute ones for kids on etsy with animals and fun colors on them! Just look up face shield.

Practice wearing a mask at home. Especially if you have anxiety or sensory issues, but this can work for some breathing issues too. PRACTICE. Put it on at home while you’re going about your tasks or doing something you enjoy. Try to wear it in air conditioned rooms or rooms with a fan and do something that distracts you from it. You can start by just wearing it for a few minutes and slowly building up to longer times. It helps so much!

Buy a different mask. All masks are not created equal. If you have sensory issues, it may be the fabric or design that’s making it harder to wear. Thicker masks are harder on breathing issues too. Buy a different design. Buy a different fabric. I like really soft ones. Don’t buy the one way valve ones though. These are ineffective at protecting the community.

Pick when you go out carefully. If you aren’t required to go out at a certain time, use that to your advantage. Different weather can make wearing a mask more difficult. Pick days and times that are cooler and less humid. Or, if there is a type of weather that makes your breathing condition worse, avoid whatever that weather is the best you can. Don’t pick the worst days to go out. Check your weather apps!

Keep your time out limited. If you aren’t working around people, limit your time out. Take shorter grocery trips even if it means more frequent ones. Do curbside pick up or get things delivered when possible. Have a list prepared before you shop with the items in the general order they are found. 

Take breaks. If you have to wear a mask for longer periods of time at the grocery store or wherever, take breaks. Bring someone with you so they can stay with your stuff or in line if need be. Go outside, get away from other people, then remove your mask for a bit and breathe in some fresh air. If you can’t get outside, at least get away from people and things as much as possible.

Take a small battery powered fan or hand fan with you. Heat can make masks a lot harder to wear. Having a small fan can help keep you from overheating, reduce anxiety and sensory issues, and make breathing easier. 

Have a coping mechanism for anxiety. Whether it’s a fidget spinner, pictures on your phone, daydreaming, or reciting a poem or phrase to yourself, be prepared for the anxiety.

Think about the mask differently. This won’t help for breathing problems but it might for anxiety and other mental issues. Instead of thinking of it as a lame thing you are being forced to wear for safety, think of it like a cool fashion accessory. We all wear uncomfortable shoes and clothes at some point because it’s cute or required for an event. This isn’t all that different, especially when you can buy so many patterns on etsy or make your own. Hell, add pins or sew on patches if you want, just clean them properly!

I’ve tested most of these and they really do help. Of course, a quick google search can give you even more tips on how to wear masks with glasses, acne problems, and pretty much everything else. This isn’t a fun time and it’s harder for some of us, but we can all do our part. No one has to sacrifice their life or anyone elses over a piece of fabric. The sooner everyone follows safety precautions, the sooner we can take these damn things off for good!!

[cactusjerk]

We are all struggling right now and hard times are often also a test of character. I know it doesn't feel like it, but Corona will one day be a terrible yet distant memory again. What'll stay is knowing how we treated each other and the more vulnerable people during this difficult time. What'll stay is who we lost along the way.

Though an infection will not impact the younger generations the same way as the older ones, there will be time when WE will take their place and might find ourselves in the very same spot. I met so many amazing older people in this community and none of them replaceable. Friends, neighbors or just cool people I got to know along the way.

My grandma was a child of the war and helped rebuilding my country from the ruins. They called them Trümmerfrauen because they were integral in bringing back Germany from ground zero to a thriving country again. When her husband died in 1989, she worked fulltime as a cleaning woman in the university to support her family, paid off not one but two houses with a sick and dying husband, cared for her sick parents and raised two kids. She was one of the first women to start driving at a time when strong and independent women were frowned upon and was always there for me when my life was falling apart. If it wasn't for her support, I would not be here right now. None of the amazing things we did would've happened. No cool books that I published, no amazing groups that we turned into thriving communities and no videos that so many people enjoy. Right now she's hiding at home since over a year and will hopefully be healthy enough to be vaccinated soon.

My father had a few companies in his life, supported everyone that came to him for help and gave many people work. At this point he's very ill and has been waiting for an essential surgery for months because Corona patients are priority right now. Corona kills directly AND indirectly.

My mother is immunosuppressed, suffers from severe COPD but still works in the medical sector to make ends meet. They are constantly confronted with hard work and death and illnesses have become part of the daily work life. Going to work basically means risking her life every day. Hopefully she will be vaccinated very soon. The same applies to my wife, who is heroically going out there every day to this face the horror in the medical horror too. I admire her greatly for this.

This is just a screenshot from my family to show that there's lives and tragedies behind all these statistics. At this point we're losing thousands of such people per week. It's like having a few plane crashs every week. And these are good people. People that are wise, smart and have faced wars, poverty and hardship to get us to where we are now. They paid taxes for social security that went to younger generations. I know they are old, but I can't tell you what I would do to just spend one more year with my grandfather who passed away too soon. One or two years is an endless amount or quality time for older people they can spend with their loved ones.

Point I'm making is that If you can just help one of those by wearing a little mask then please do it. Corona will pass, but some things can't be undone. I'm sorry if my critical posts against Corona protests or vaccine critics might have insulted some of my friends. I love you all, but I think very strongly about this and I see so many posts that are nothing but destructive criticism without providing alternative ideas. Not everything we're doing might be working right now, but not trying everything we have would be reckless. 😊❤✌Much love.

PS: If you wanna share some of your loved ones, both alive or lost, in here I'd be honored.

[mukathospital]

Summer COPD Care Tips to Breathe Easy | Mukat Hospital

Discover expert-recommended summer care tips for managing COPD. Learn how to breathe easier, stay safe, and improve lung health during hot weather with Mukat Hospital's guidance.

[blackroseraven]

We got there early, but Teacherlady had already finished up the grain. We still got to help put horses out, though.

It’s humid, gross, polleny, and there’s apparently forest fires nearby making the air quality even worse, so a lot of the horses with issues like COPD are having coughing fits and really suffering. Horse allergies, basically. Poor Shyanne just. Sneezed all over me, then wiped his face on even poorer Moony, who was left with a massive line of snot down his chest.

Horses are gross, yes.

I also ended up fumbling with Silvie’s little pen. She’s allowed to go outside and eat grass, but she just gets a little square to herself that she has to stay in, and it’s kind of a pain to set it up because she’s a tiny pony, so. If the wires are too high, she’ll just go under it.

At least she’s doing a lot better.

I got Jaeger and cleaned his hooves out, although that was about all we were able to do today. Poor guy’s hooves are gross and a mess. I really wish I could do more for the big dummy.

I was going to just get Quattro, but Q was moving a lot better so. I ended up grabbing him, and bringing them both in. I actually let them both stand together in the aisle, which was mostly fine. Except when I spent some time cleaning Quattro’s hooves and Q felt ignored, and he decided to go over to the shelf and start knocking water jugs off it like a cat.

He is such an asshole horse.

I brought them up to the arena and they actually did really good. I was super happy with Q especially. I mean. Once I got on him, that is, because he decided to slip out from under me the first time I was climbing on, like a jerkass. But the second time was fine and he was really really good today. Very controlled and easy.

But he was a jerkass when I switched to Quattro. He alternated between following quietly, which was fine, and then purposefully blocking us or trying to cut us off, and then he kept coming up to Quattro when we stopped and shoving their faces together and trying to chew on him. Obviously feeling a lot better but. Still a jerkhead.

He was at least. Not super terrible when Zara was in the arena too? But Quattro got really mad when I got back on him and first he tried to fling me off when I jumped on him from the ground, which made me mad, and then the second time he showed his grumpiness by bucking once I was on his back.

Jerkhead. Seriously.

He was. On and off good? Q being there helped at first, and then absolutely didn’t help because he just wanted to play and follow him and ignore me and not do anything I asked. But I managed to get him to listen and do some walking and stops a few times.

We concentrated a lot today on having him go where I asked, control and stuff. We need to focus on that more than anything else, I think.

They were otherwise really good though. Mellowed out at the end, to the point where I was able to bring both of them through the people-walkway instead of the gate, and then take them outside without any halters, cool them both off with a rinse, and then bring them up to a pasture. No halters on either of them. Huge progress there, way better listening from Q especially.

Gotta remember it’s not just about making the horse strong, or even about having them listen to you. It’s about working on your communication, so they understand what you’re asking, so you can direct them hoof-by-hoof if necessary. 

Control doesn’t mean overpowering the horse: it means being able to guide his hooves to help him find the best path. That’s something I really have to strive to remember and work on.

[lizardtracks]

Perfect

Outside is the slow steady drip of an all-day rain. It gathers up in the leaves of a mesquite tree, coalescing and dropping on to the roof. But that is not what makes the dripping sound. Enough rolls off the roof to drop into a puddle below the eaves. That last drop creates that perfect plunk.

The plunk is perfect not just because we need the rain. We always do. We could get ten times what is forecast for the next three days and be a year behind what we need. The plunk is perfect because it is a comforting sound. The sound of water. But the rain, the clouds, the overcast skies, the cool temperatures also suggest staying indoors wrapped in flannel and sweats. And that is good. It's good because I am hoping that this is my last weekend convalescing from COVID.

COVID took down everyone in the house on New Year's weekend. And, yes, we had been fairly careful. We supported our favorite restaurants by ordering takeout, only rarely dining out. Only a very few people, those who knew to let you know they were sick when they were sick, came to visit. And yes, masks at the grocery store. Social distancing—oh! how I hate that phrase— all the times it was appropriate. All of it. But an entire year of news about how damaging or deadly SARS-Cov-2 can be; how overwhelmed our medical facilities were; stories of the fall surge and rising death count; none of that is enough, apparently, to make some people let you know they are sick. So my son went off to help some friends. Within a few days, COVID had taken us all down.

My son and significant other did okay with it. They had all the classic symptoms: fever, aches, cough, fatigue, loss of smell, shortness of breath, mental fogginess, diarrhea. But my son's ran its course in less than ten days, except for a horrible, racking cough. And my SO, despite COPD, was back in the saddle in two weeks.

But SARS-Cov-2 decided that it needed to mess with me. My symptoms were pretty much the same. But the fatigue was debilitating. In the middle of the second week, I had to take a day off work. I slept for twenty hours out of twenty-four. For the entire second week I simply did not eat. It wasn't just that food tasted awful. I did not have the energy for it. On top of that, the smell of almost anything except raw vegetables and grilled meat was nauseating. I also had a constant shortness of breath that left me agitated and irritated. Velcro's need to be near me became annoying enough that I actually pushed him away a few times.

In the third week (this past week) all of the symptoms subsided. I was able to get through the week without thinking about a sick day. (I have been working from home since the end of December.) But with my home office set up in the bedroom, I found myself climbing in bed at 5:00 PM for a nap. But I was eating again. My fluid intake seemed to finally result in fluid output. I could take short jaunts to the end of the block and back without breathlessness. And—and maybe this is most important—I could drink coffee again. Coffee tasted good again!

So yesterday I took our patient dogs for a stroll around the park. I trundled slowly around the house helping to pack up Christmas decorations. I went out to AutoZone to pick up some car parts for my son. And I got my home office picked up and moved back to the real office. (Starting Monday I will not be working remotely.)

All in all, not a bad day. Yes, there was some fatigue and shortness of breath. But it was manageable. I still have some mental fogginess, That worries me about the upcoming work week since my main reason for going back to the office is to help on-board and train a new employee. I hope I don't end up prattling too much, and can be coherent and connected.

So there it is. Three weeks of COVID with a second week that was like being rode hard and put up wet. How long the remaining fatigue will hang around, who knows?

Today, though, today is perfect day. The cool dampness begs warm clothes and fuzzy blankets. The sound of the TV blathering in the background is actually comforting. And there is a football playoff game later. It is a great day to stay in, stay relaxed, and stay warm. And maybe, just maybe, put the final kibosh on COVID.

1/24/21

[t-underneaththeradardancing]

under my tree near my rock  - everybody moon  - wat exactly iz a flamingo dancer mr jones  - my murders fed at least some and im scared af - bleeding $ crazee  - mos maybe onna cusp of some kinda success tho  2 show upcome soon 1 of them major even if unbilled  -  hospital flashback like mf  - started w leg cramp panik attax sun eve  - teen called me og while coffee biz thang  - so young i fear for them  - 1 of the gigs a house party everyone underage and all that imply - no t aint gonna  - not a drive by even - literaly a couple hunnerd kidz thru most strangersz who wood freek the fuck out  lol   - it aint no place for me  - the dozen or so i interact w regular we mostly cool af  - mostly musicians a couple artists  a couple maybe as much awkward fucktard imma role model  -  my wife wonder wat tf we tawk about  - mostly i dont - i play guitar almost constantly at liams  - exchange greeting huglove  yah w the ones i know and love  -  liam an exception but he a changling we talk about the moon and wat it means to b an adult instead of a fucked up manbaby  - itza process yo imma try  - but mostly music and biz   - oh and PLEEEEEEZ can sum 1 help fix my tek  - cuz - with feeling y’all 

TEK HATEZ T   ( i wish i new how to bold on tumblr - no pleez dont msg me and tell me - it wont help and will only prolly confuse me  - the teenz know - i do not wann b shown how - i know how usually or did and then didnt use function for a while and forgot a step or - but then its 2 late - things fukked up and need a teenager  -   ffs 30 years ago i designed a web page from scratch using uh wats that co microsoft killed then bought out for a fortune  - today - just lol and sad  )

war and stevie wonder mostly see me thru the bad times  - im ok but have gone off deep end 1 too many lately -  ( just 1 t ? thats not -2 ba  - oh that many - nevermind )

acupuncture continuing to help  - everything - lol  - stressed the fuck out - third eye needle specially when to remind compassion - sciatica awmost a non event w minimal med  but aways treated - tendonitis - rotator cuff yah but those needles fucking hurt the whole time - i think they working on colitis copd and heart  as well  - usually give me extra time cuz i  tolerate needles as long as it take and i took advantage of unlimited for a year when offered  - i dont manage but try for daily cuz imma addict  - when i get xtra time i go somewhere i never been b4 - 1st time scary cuz left my body but that artifact i dont hafta  - peace not bliss and no place to stay nothing ever happens  - just a minnit soul vacation 

t how many x can u lissen to heaven iz 10 zillion - as many as it takes 

if u open up ur heart - u can feel it - feel his (her -the - i like her ) spirit ...

its taken her so long cuz we got so far to come...

later - maybe midnight when its frog friday and i already posted one a gift of

love

missing vita in college - bizzy scholastic period so text phone email for 2 weeks now counting - soon come  - im playing practice parts to recordings - some i never heard - early before we knew each other so like 8 months ago lol 

that wuz sposed to b in the middle - do i hafta say it 

[whatsnext4corona]

WHAT’S NEXT FOR CORONA?

How to Survive in a World of COVID-19 and the Likes

Madhavan Pisharodi, M.D.

Total Air Replacement , 2.Total Fresh Air Conditioning, 3.Total Air Purification

COVID-19 has shocked this world.  We have learned to give up a lot of our daily routines.  Unfortunately, there is no end in sight for this disaster.  The purpose of this article is to explore ways to stay away from and/or destroy the virus, so that we can get back  to our normal life style in a gradual but safe pattern.  It’ll be nice to start traveling, eating out, attending religious functions, sending children to schools, taking cruise ship vacations and watching sports in their own arenas with some assurance that this will not bring another wave of COVID-19 infections and deaths.  

As of the 1st of August 2020, COVID-19 has infected almost 18 million people worldwide and has killed about 700,000 people according to the statistics available through WHO.  Among the various countries, USA has been leading in the number of infections and deaths for the last several months and it has reported nearly 5 million infected cases with almost 160,000 deaths.  With just 4.2% of the world’s population, USA has 26.5% of world’s total infections and 23% of world’s total deaths.  In the early stages, more than 30% of deaths in the United States were among nursing home population.  The simplistic explanation, that the high rate of infection and death are due to poor preventive measures, seems to be unacceptable considering that USA has one of the world’s most expensive and organized medical care.  COVID-19 has so far evaded any kind of meaningful predictions, reliable treatment options, and the usual preventive measures.  The infection is spreading all over the world even after seven months, as if it is in absolute control, humbling and humiliating anyone trying to analyze the situation.  Figure 1 shows that the worldwide infection rate is showing a steady upward trend.  

                                                    Fig. 1

Since the time the COVID-19 showed up in the affluent populations in northern Italy and the northern states in USA, we have been considering the possibility that COVID-19 is not only infecting individuals, but also it is “infecting” the buildings.  We also considered the possibility, from that time onwards, that the “vector” for the COVID-19 infection is our inadequate air conditioning.  

Even in the early stages of the pandemic, preventive measures from Thailand suggested 7 items which the virus apparently disliked (Fig. 2).  The WHO immediately spoke out against much of these 7 items and cautioned people not to try many of those measures for different reasons.  Since WHO did not accept COVID-19 spread through the air until almost the middle of July, it did not even discuss the topic of ventilation.  In reality, the severity of the pandemic could probably have been reduced if WHO had not taken this position and had given more importance to the ventilation in preventing COVID-19 spread. 

                                                       Fig. 2

It is true that the COVID-19 is spreading through droplets (about 10 microns) and contamination of structures and objects where the droplets are deposited.  According to the WHO this droplet spread is limited to about 3 to 6 feet radius around the infected person.  Linsey Marr, a professor of civil and environmental engineering at Virginia Tech discounted this by stating that there is no virtual wall at 6 feet.  Lydia Bourbouiba, a professor at MIT, who specializes in “disease transmission”  published an article in JAMA stating that the virus cloud can travel to about 27 feet from a sneeze (Fig 3) Dr. Anthony Fauci from CDC immediately came to the defense of the WHO stating that this will happen only if the sneeze is violent and that the message is misleading.  He further added that the 6 feet distancing is adequate.  It is interesting that the proposal for the 6 feet distancing is without any consideration for the time taken for the droplets to fall from the 5 feet height to the ground.  

                                                    Figure.3

We find it difficult to accept that the droplets fall to the ground and give up by auto-destruction.  A study posted by UKRI showed that coronavirus can stay active on copper surfaces for 4 hours, cardboard for 24 hours, and at least 72 hours on plastics and steel.  We don’t have any reliable data about its survival on carpets,wood, linoleum, tiles and other flooring materials.  Lydia Bourouiba suggested that the arbitrary division of droplets (more than 5 microns) and aerosols (less than 5 microns) is probably not true and that the droplets vary from large size to small in a smooth gradation.  The larger droplets settle faster and evaporate slower than the smaller droplets which settle slower and evaporate faster.  Another study published by Paul Baron from CDC shows that even larger droplets take about 8 minutes to fall from 5 feet in still air (Fig. 4) and 8 minutes to fall from 8 feet in turbulent air (Fig. 5).  Smaller and aerosolized droplets can take upwards of 12 hours in similar conditions.  So far, there has not been any study regarding what happens to the particles in the air beyond 27 feet.  We postulate that the really small droplets evaporate almost instantly in the dry, cool stagnant air-conditioned surroundings into a mist of virions beyond the 27 feet (Fig. 6).  We also postulate that the droplets that settled on the floor do not self-destruct.  They lose their water content by evaporation and turn into a mist of fine particles ready to move around (Fig. 7).  When people walk around over this virus mist on the floor, they are driven upwards into the room, helped by the small suction force from the AC exhaust in the ceiling.  We postulate that this can result in a room full of this virion mist of different densities, based on the number of patients in the area and whether there are any super spreaders (Fig. 8).  These virions are then taken up by the air conditioning system and circulated over the entire building.  Our hypothesis is that the COVID-19 infects the buildings in this way.  Anytime the infected person plants the virus in a building, the building gets infected.  People walking into these infected buildings do not stand a chance to avoid exposure.  The COVID-19 hot-spots in the air-conditioned nursing homes and crowded hospitals have no other reasonable explanation. 

                                                  Figure. 4

                                                  Figure. 5

                                                  Figure. 6

                                                     Figure. 7

                                                        Figure. 8

PREVENTIVE MEASURES FOR CONTROL OF COVID-19

It is a sad fact that this little bug is laughing at the human race.  The PPE and other measures presently advocated can have temporary benefits only.  The uncontrolled spread of the virus even after 7 months of the pandemic is telling us that these measures are not really working.  

SIX FEET DISTANCING

Even assuming that there is a virtual wall at 6 feet and that people don’t sneeze hard enough to push the virus close to 27 feet, the fact that these droplets take upwards of 8 minutes to settle from a height of 5 feet makes this measure of questionable value.  It is not difficult to visualize a halo of viruses around an infected person standing on a spot (Fig. 9).

                                              Figure. 9

When this person moves forward, the person behind who was keeping the 6 feet distancing is walking into this halo that has not settled yet.  Six feet distancing will work only if these individuals are stationary like people sitting down in a conference hall.  In the outdoor set up, the halo will most probably float away and so the six feet distancing will provide partial protection.  This partial protection outdoors is not valid if people are crowding and shouting in which case the individual virus halos will coalesce to form a virus cloud over the crowd (Fig. 10).  The importance of this much advertised preventive measure needs to be scientifically evaluated.      

                                 Figure. 10

 MASKS

Wearing masks will protect against droplet spread both indoors and outdoors.  However, masks will not protect if the room is filled with virion mist.  This will be like wearing a mask in a smoke-filled room to avoid smoke inhalation.  The risk of infection in such a building/room is real as long as the individual has to breathe the enclosed air and the virion mist has enough density.  Good quality masks do have a role in reducing infection in an outdoor setting.  It is also important to consider the multiple side effects from wearing a mask, especially for people with COPD and other respiratory illnesses.  People who have got cured of COVD-19 and carried the antibodies cannot infect others and most probably cannot get infected for a second time.  To force them to wear mask is unjustified.  The wide spread acceptance of this measure maybe a reflection of our sense of helplessness than any proven benefits.           

LOCKDOWN

Very tight lockdowns have helped to prevent the spread of COVID-19 in many countries.  However, this lockdown is like giving aspirin for pneumonia.  Lockdown is only good if we know that after a certain period this virus cannot and will not infect us.  Alternately, we should have developed reliable treatment or vaccine to control the spread.  Otherwise, the virus will be waiting outside when the lockdown is lifted.  This was proven is the U.S. and many other countries.  There was an excellent lockdown plan in India and when this was partially lifted, the infection began spreading again.  It is not worthwhile hurting the businesses and the families with the lockdown requirement, unless we have an end point in sight.  The financial, psychological, educational, recreational, and other setbacks from the lockdown are too extreme to ignore.  The demand for indefinite lockdowns without weighing in the risk benefit ratio is only a political weapon at best.    

COVID-19 TESTING

It is well established that COVID-19 can spread through asymptomatic carriers.  If we know all the asymptomatic carriers, it will be possible to isolate them and prevent the virus spread.  There has been a powerful public demand to “increase the testing” to achieve this.  This is bordering on insanity.  For instance, a person tested negative on Monday can become positive on Tuesday or any time afterwards.  To be certain that one individual is safe and not an asymptomatic carrier, he/she will have to get tested at least once a week.  In order to satisfy the demand for “increase the testing to control the infection” in the U.S., we will have to test 331 million Americans and a large number of non-Americans living in this country, once a week indefinitely.  This is absurd.  The reasonable compromise will be to test people with symptoms so that they can be treated properly.  Anything more than this is unreasonable and just a political argument.  

VACCINE

The whole world is now competing to make COVID-19 vaccines.  Not all of them are doing this for the jackpot of financial gain.  A vaccine that is produced over such a short period cannot be tested for long term effects.  Also, there has been some isolated reports that people can get infected for the second time.  Hopefully, these are due to false negative tests between the infections.  Otherwise, the value of a vaccine (miniature infection) is questionable when full-fledged infection cannot give adequate protection.  The task of persuading people to take the vaccine will be another challenge.  While keeping great hopes on the value of a COVID-19 vaccine, it is also important to be cautioned against unreasonable expectations.  

PROPOSED ADDITIONAL MEASURES TO CONTROL COVID-19

If some modifications to the air flow in the buildings can reduce the pain and discomfort demanded of the individuals in this pandemic, such measures are desirable.  These measures are meant to compliment the presently available methods and not in any way replace them.  These measures need deliberate planning, engineering expertise and focus on long term benefits rather than quick fix measures.       

Modification of Air Conditioners 

With very few exceptions, several homes and most business offices have air conditioner inlet and outlet both on the ceiling.  This will make the air current stronger near the ceiling and weaker at the ground level.  In cold climate, when the inlet brings down hot air, this air has no reason to go to the ground level and bounce back to the outlet.  Since the hot air stays on the upper layers of the room it crawls along the ceiling and gets out through the outlet (Fig. 11). 

                                                    Figure. 11

The air is cooler and slower as the distance from the ceiling to the floor increases.  In the area of the room, where people move around or rest, especially in wheelchairs and hospital beds, the air is cool, stagnant, and dry.  This is the best condition for the COVID-19 droplets to settle down, evaporate and fill the room with the virion mist.  Another important fact is that in efforts to heat the lower portion of the room, the consumers use more energy and pay more for their air conditioning.  

By bringing the air inlet to the ground level, we can bring the heat where it is needed, increase the air circulation in the lower portion of the room, and hopefully make the air current to sweep up the virion mist from the ground level to the outlet in the ceiling (Fig. 12 ).  This will be a form of “Total Air Replacement”  This will also reduce the cost of heating.  

                                                     Figure. 12

The used air getting out of the room can be completely discarded to the exterior of the building to accomplish “Total Fresh Air Conditioning”.  This will be equivalent to leaving the doors and windows wide open.  Alternately, we can recirculate the air after destroying the viruses using ultraviolet treatment away from human circulation.  

Ultraviolet to Destroy COVID-19

WHO has advised that we do not use ultraviolet devices because of the potential harm to the skin, eye, etc. and even causing cancer.  This is on the understanding that the UV light is applied directly on the individuals.  UV devices are already in use to sterilize tabletops and surgical instruments, water purification, etc. where the individuals do not have to be near the devices.  The disadvantage of these devices is that light travels only in straight line and cannot go around furniture or equipment.  One of the methods we are proposing is to hire the readily available air to do the job.  Air can go around and under the furniture and equipment.  By weaponizing the air conditioners to purify the air, the air circulation can be converted into a self-cleaning system.  Combining this with the modification of the air conditioners that was already described, the air purification can be accomplished (Fig. 13).  These UV light units can be incorporated into the main air conditioners or the individual rooms, to accomplish “Total Air Purification”.

Reopening of Business, Restaurants, Hotels, Schools, Bars, etc. with Measures to Tame the Virus

It is possible that these air purifying measures can make reopening of these facilities safer than just relying on PPE and social distancing.  A gradual adaptation of these measures will also help to reduce the severity of similar pandemics in the future.  Hopefully, these measures can also avoid another wave of COVID-19 resurgence after the next effort to lift the lockdown.

Making Air Travel Safer

It is possible to incorporate UV light into the air conditioning into the air planes to make air travel safer.  Alternately, there can be a method of preventing recirculation of contaminated cabin air.  This will be in the form of “Total fresh air conditioning”.  Any combination of these two measures will also be possible.  

Bringing Back Cruise Ship Vacations

By modifying the air conditioning in the cruise ships this very important business can be revived.  Open air programs on the ship will have to follow the social distancing and PPE requirements.  

Prepare for the Coming Winter

As explained in the section relating to our existing air conditioners, the winter heating can cause another increase in the infections due to the cold, stagnant, dry air in the lower portions of the rooms.  It will be proper to anticipate this and prevent this.  

Prepare for Future Pandemics with Similar Viruses

COIVD-19 has exposed some of our weaknesses against these evolving pathogens.  It will be a good idea to slowly develop an air purification system to be prepared. 

Reduce the Incidence and Seriousness of “Winter Flu Season” 

The flu season is a curse for the cold countries.  Tropical climate does not favor such a flu season.  If the flu viruses have some of the same behavior pattern of COVID-19, we can expect some improvement in the flu season in cold countries by adopting the improvements in the air conditioning and the air purification method discussed above.  

Reduce the Cost of Air Conditioning

By bringing the cold, and especially the hot air to the lower part of the room, where people move around, the air conditioning cost can be hopefully reduced.  

                                                       Figure. 13

SUMMARY

COVID-19 is undefeated and is continuing its rampage despite our efforts to control it.  Vaccines will give us a fighting chance.  Other agents like COVID-19 are likely to come up in the future.  We must tame the COVID-19 and be prepared for the ones coming up in the future.  The two measures described here can most probably have significant impact on the spread of COVID-19 which is not showing any sign of settling after 7 months of this pandemic.  The measures described here require a lot of future studies and verifications. You can reach the author through pisharodielectronics@gmail.com

[torriwilson]

Pulse Oximeters May Be Helpful For People With COVID-19—Here's What to Know Before You Buy One

The at-home gadget can be valuable for observing coronavirus manifestations, alongside other respiratory conditions

 You may not perceive the name, however you've likely observed a pulse oximeter previously (most likely in a specialist's office or emergency clinic setting). Much like a thermometer peruses your temperature, a pulse oximeter—a little rectangular gadget that cuts onto your finger—peruses your blood oxygen levels and pulse. Yet, in contrast to a thermometer, which numerous individuals as of now have in their homes, pulse oximeters aren't a backbone in many medication cupboards. COVID-19, notwithstanding, may change the entirety of that.

 "Everyone is attempting to abstain from going out—particularly to go to the specialist," Sharon Chekijian, MD MPH, a crisis medication specialist with Yale Medicine, discloses to Health, including that those with mellow side effects are regularly asked to remain at home and counsel their primary care physicians by means of telemedicine. Yet, some of the time it's difficult to recognize milder side effects from those that warrant crisis clinical consideration—that is the place a pulse oximeter can become possibly the most important factor. "Numerous specialists have been prompting patients, particularly those with troubling indications or incessant wellbeing conditions like heart or lung issues, to purchase a pulse oximeter for home to screen their oxygen levels without journeying to the specialist or [emergency department]," says Dr. Chekijian.

 Richard Levitan, MD, is one of those specialists. The crisis doctor composed an opinion piece for The New York Times enumerating his experience chipping in at New York City's Bellevue Hospital, where he saw a mind-boggling measure of basically sick patients who showed up at the medical clinic with hazardously low oxygen levels. It's in cases like these, he composed, when a pulse oximeter can help. "Across the board pulse oximetry screening for COVID pneumonia—regardless of whether individuals check themselves on home gadgets or go to facilities or specialists' workplaces—could give an early admonition framework to the sorts of breathing issues related with COVID pneumonia," he composed, including that all patients who test positive for COVID-19—and even patients who show indications however have not had testing—ought to have pulse oximetry observing for about fourteen days, since that is commonly when COVID-19 pneumonia can create.

 While pulse oximeters are in no way, shape or form a need for the normal sound individual—however a few specialists may propose them to those with prior breathing issues like asthma, COPD, or other lung illnesses—they might be useful during the COVID-19 pandemic. Likewise significant: All specialists aren't in concession to whether pulse oximeters are a smart thought for across the board home-observing, however this is what you have to know whether you're keen on putting resources into one.

 What is a pulse oximeter?

 A pulse oximeter (likewise called a "Pulse Ox") is a gadget that estimates oxygen levels (or oxygen immersion) in your blood, as per Johns Hopkins Medicine—explicitly the fringe oxygen immersion, since it's distinguished incidentally (remotely) on the finger, toe, or ear. That is significant, per the World Health Organization, in light of the fact that your blood (explicitly proteins in your red platelets) hefts oxygen around your body and conveys it to your tissues.

 Pulse oximeters additionally measure pulse rate, as far as pulses every moment—this can likewise show how well the body's tissues are "perfused" or provided with blood, and at last, oxygen.

 Regarding COVID-19, a pulse oximeter can help identify or screen breathing issues related with COVID-19 or COVID-19 pneumonia. The gadgets can be particularly useful for those encountering windedness with analyzed COVID-19—either to watch out for progress or to decide when it merits a trauma center visit.

 How would you utilize a pulse oximeter?

 In case you're utilizing an at-home pulse oximeter, the gadget will cut onto your finger, toe, or ear cartilage. "Most usually, it is a clasp to put on your finger and it communicates frequencies of light to a sensor which precisely ascertains your blood oxygen immersion," George Fallieras, MD, clinical overseer of BioCorRx and specialist at LA Surge Hospital. That frequency is focusing on hemoglobin, a protein in your blood that conveys oxygen—and the light consumed by the blood differs with the oxygen immersion of hemoglobin, per the WHO, which at that point sends a perusing

 The most ideal way direct the test is to do as such while plunking down, says Dr. Chekijian. "The best finger to utilize it on is the center finger," she includes. Make a point to remove any nail clean, abstain from utilizing on cool fingers, sit still. "In the event that your fingers are cold, you are wearing nail clean, or in the event that you are moving near, it may not get a right perusing," she clarifies. Likewise, on the off chance that you use another person's gadget make certain to purify altogether when use.

 Another significant thing to check for during a perusing is that there is a following on the gadget that resembles a sine or nonstop wave, Dr. Chekijian educates. "The wave fluctuates with your relaxing. This implies the gadget is truly getting the correct signs. This is particularly significant if the perusing looks low so you don't misjudge it." If the perusing is low, yet you see a squiggly line rather than a standard sine wave, you are most likely not getting an incredible perusing.

 What is an ordinary pulse oximeter perusing?

 As indicated by Dr. Chekijian, for a sound individual without lung issues, a perusing between 96-100% would connote a typical degree of oxygen in the blood. The WHO brings down that by 1%, saying that anything between 95-100% is typical, and anything under 94% ought to be assessed by a clinical expert. A pulse oximeter perusing of anything beneath 90% is viewed as a "clinical crisis," per the WHO and ought to be dealt with critically.

 "On the off chance that you do think you have COVID and you're utilizing the pulse oximeter to quantify your oxygen level, make certain to cause a log of the readings so you to can check whether there are any changes," Dr. Chekijian proposes. Likewise, the numbers aren't the main thing you should concentrate on. She recommends noticing how you were feeling at the hour of the perusing—like on the off chance that you felt fine or in the event that you were encountering windedness.

 It's imperative to monitor the subsequent number, your pulse, as well. "That is useful to note also so you can report it to your primary care physician," says Dr. Chekijian. As per the WHO, a typical pulse in those ages 10 and more seasoned reaches between 60 to 100 beats for every moment.

 Are there any drawbacks to utilizing an at-home pulse oximeter?

 Likewise with any at-home test, there is consistently space for flawed readings or off base use. The WHO recognizes this, and prompts clinical experts to depend on their own clinical judgment versus a perusing on the gadget. On the off chance that you get a bizarre perusing at home (and you're not feeling sick), you can check the gadget's exactness on another sound relative—however in case you're uncomfortable with a perusing and how you're feeling, it's ideal to look for clinical consideration.

 It's likewise significant not to let a decent pulse oximeter perusing to give you a misguided sensation that all is well and good in case you're feeling unwell. In case you're feeling inferior—windedness, hack, fever—and you haven't been determined to have COVID-19, it's ideal to check in with your medicinal services supplier. The uplifting news: Sometimes a decent pulse oximetry perusing can be a consolation in the event that you are feeling terrible with a COVID-19 finding, to show you aren't deteriorating.

 Where would you be able to get a pulse oximeter?

 That is the million-dollar question at the present time. Since they're so sought after, pulse oximeters, which are typically purchased on the web, at sedate stores, or by means of clinical gadget providers, can be elusive at this moment. "In the event that you think you need one, call ahead [to your favored store] so you don't go on a totally pointless pursuit and open yourself to superfluous hazard all the while," Dr. Chekijian desires.

 Your present smartest option is to look at Amazon or different sites for accessible pulse oximeters. As indicated by Wirecutter, some portion of The New York Times, you can look at gadgets recorded on the Food and Drug Administration's 510(k) Premarket Notification Database via looking "oximeter."

 For the time being, it's additionally best to adhere to at-home finger pulse oximeter gadgets—while there are some applications for cell phones that guarantee to gauge oxygen levels, ongoing examination from the Oxford COVID-19 Evidence Service Team has discovered that that none of them are dependable enough to fill in for the genuine article.

 On the off chance that you can't discover a pulse oximeter because of the deficiency, and you're stressed over your levels, you can (and should) check in with your primary care physician to check whether you can get a perusing. "On the off chance that you have a feeling that you can't slow down or are short of breath with movement please visit brief center, earnest consideration, or call your primary care physician to check whether you can be seen," says Dr. Chekijian. "On the off chance that it's nightfall, call 911 or continue to the crisis division so we can check your levels for you."

 The data in this story is precise as of press time. Be that as it may, as the circumstance encompassing COVID-19 keeps on developing, it's conceivable that a few information have changed since distribution. While Health is attempting to stay up with the latest as could be expected under the circumstances, we additionally urge perusers to remain educated on news and suggestions for their own networks by utilizing the CDC, WHO, and their nearby general wellbeing office as assets.

[homosociallyyours]

CW: covid 19/coronavirus related anxiety, poor following of social distancing, previous parent death, shitty mental spiralling that's not behind a cut bc I'm on mobile.

I just talked to my dad and every time I do I get so incredibly stressed and worried. It's not that he doesn't think the virus is serious-- he's aware of the deaths and how severe it's gotten some places. But no matter how much I talk with him about it, he doesn't seem to get the transmission aspect. And he tells me things so casually that scare TF out of me...

My uncle with COPD is STILL GOING TO WORK at the transmission shop my other uncle owns. The uncle who owns the business pays my other Uncle in Walmart cards/basically doesn't give him cash bc of his addiction history (I don't think this is great, but it's something they seem to have agreed upon). So like. He could let the sick Uncle stay home??? And keep paying him??

My dad wasn't bothered by it AT ALL, bc "he has his own workspace." But ??? He's potentially going inside vehicles (which wouldn't be sanitized first) and touching packages that arrive with parts with no projection and...he has. COPD.

So I was like: I just feel like he has a very bad chance of surviving the virus, and can't imagine how awful it would feel to think his death could've been prevented???

And my dad said "yeah" in the way he does when he doesn't want to argue with me. Anyone who knows me (bander) knows I HATE arguing, but my dad is a co-dependent Pisces enneagram 2, which means he is literally allergic to disagreements of all kinds and will do anything to avoid them. 😬

We moved on, and my dad starts talking about realizing the other day that he wouldn't be able to get a haircut during this crisis. I laughed, like oh haha yeah guess you're growing it out lol! And then he told me casually (genuinely seeing nothing wrong with what he was about to say) that he'd called the woman who cuts his hair and she agreed to do it in her little in home salon.

Already I'm like !!!???!!!! DAD NO!! But trying to calm myself like ok at least she's not working in a salon where you're inches from getting coughed on...and then he tells me, "well her other job is as a cashier at food city, and they have lots of barriers there, but she said she still see the same people every day can you believe it??"

And I made him promise not to do it again, but every. Fucking. Time. I talk to him I'm scared it's gonna be the last time. That he'll get sick and not call to tell me bc he doesn't want to worry me, and nobody in my family will tell me bc we are ALL co-dependent enneagram 2s who believe it's our responsibility to Bear It All, Alone until he's actually sick enough to go to the hospital.

And then I'll never see him again, I won't be able to talk to him, I won't be able to go to his funeral. I'm aware that this is anxiety talking and that I'm catastrophizing. (I learned that skill from my mom). And I can kinda put it aside but when I talk to him it's like someone hitting a strength test hammer and sending the little thing up to ding against the top. What do we win? Panic!!!

But at the same time avoiding talking to him doesn't help bc every few days I picture him getting sick and not telling me and missing my chance to talk to him for the last time. Which feels even worse in part bc by the time I got to my mom when she was dying so much of her mental capacity had faded that my last memories of her are of a shell of her, scared and in immense pain and mostly unable to communicate. And yes, it was bc nobody would tell me how she was doing. When I talked to her I could tell she was unwell but thought it was from being extra tired/on heavy meds, not the actual issues she was having. It wasn't until she literally went into hospice care that I knew what was going on.

Anywayyyyy trauma is cool and I'm thousands of miles from my family, honestly pretty safe but scared beyond belief for them. And I just don't know if they Get It. And I needed to vent about it somewhere.

[regular-lord-reckoner]

i was doing pretty okay for a few days there despite the world being even more on fire than it usually is, but yesterday i just started feeling really down and overwhelmed by everything. 

on the one hand, i’m glad that to some degree at least this whole virus situation is being taken seriously and there are least some things being done to try to prevent the spread, but on the other i’m seeing a lot of people getting laid off from work or who just aren’t able to make money doing what they normally do because now everyone’s strapped for cash and it feels like any day the whole thing’s just gonna topple over 

and on the one hand it’s like...okay, good. the system sucks, it’s needed to change, something was gonna have to give but on the other it shouldn’t have been something like this where people are going to get hurt and potentially even die. 

for myself personally, my work has decided to remain open which on the one hand is good because i still need to make money, but on the other hand they are just...absolutely dropping the ball. 

i think so far the only measure they’ve put in place that’s actually good is i think i’d heard something about having either front desk or switchboard call some of these patients ahead of time like, “hey, it looks like your visit is just a refill for medication, your provider will go ahead and refill that and we can spare you a trip coming in to the office”, but i dunno how widespread that is or if it was just a one time thing or if it’s still been going on. 

a lot of patients i think are just going ahead and cancelling their appointments which is good, appreciate that, but then there are some who are still showing up for shit that really could have waited. 

and the bright idea now is to have front desk do a questionnaire thing with every single fucking patient that comes in basically just going over a checklist of shit that is supposed to help determine whether or not they can still stay for their visit or if they need to immediately leave and just give us a call to figure out what to do from there. 

so tomorrow i’m going to have to do that since it’s my day to go in and do front desk for one of the providers and like...yeah, i see way, way less patients there than regular front desk, but it still sucks that it’s like, “you, front desk person, you get to be exposed to people who could very well be sick but didn’t have better sense to stay home and you have to decide if this person is okay to stay, hope you don’t get yelled at!!” 

i already get shit from these patients over other shit (i don’t remember if i posted about it or not, but i had a dude get mad at ME because he was 30 minutes late for his visit and i said we might have to reschedule, but that i would check with the doctor to see if it was okay...dude stood there and gave me attitude and went on about how the way we run things is all wrong....all because again, mind you, HE was late for HIS appointment. and he thought i should just squeeze him in before people who were on time for their appointments because y’know...that’s fair!!) so i can’t imagine how much fun it’s going to be or the back and forth i’m gonna get into with people over whether or not a cough they’ve had warrants their visit being cancelled. 

but hey, it’s cool because they gave me a face mask so...i should be fine, i guess. it’s not like when i come down with shit it really wipes me the fuck out because i’m already disabled, but no that’s cool. we definitely need to keep our specialty office up and running and use medical supplies we might be needing down the road all so money can keep pouring in!!! 

especially in this day and age where things like office visits over skype or just regular phone are possible. obviously it’s not going to catch every single patient because i know not everyone has access, but here again...we’re a specialty office. we’re not a hospital, we’re not a regular doctor’s office. i could see at least running in a limited capacity for those patients that do have serious shit going on and really do need to be seen, like fine we’ll work that out, but people coming in for shit that can at least wait a few more weeks just...sucks. 

we also do infusions at one office and the nurse that runs that whole thing tried to tell my manager like, “hey, according to the cdc we really shouldn’t have more than 10 people at a time back here” and my manager honest to god said, “that only applies to social situations!!!” 

oh!!! well fuck me, then, i didn’t realize the virus could tell the goddamn difference, wow!!! 

also...it’s not at ALL like we have patients who come in for this one thing but who have compromised immune systems or who have cancer or COPD or anything else like...fuck ‘em!! we’ll make sure you sit in the waiting room while we have our already overworked front desk people doing questionnaire after questionnaire with every person that comes in and stands close to you, good luck!! 

to make things even BETTER one of the MAs showed up to work the other day sick!!! like...coughing a lot, feeling cruddy sick!!! 

but oh no, she doesn’t have any more pto so rather than like...i dunno, either have someone donate some of their own pto at least for the day or rest of the week or even send her home with a laptop and some basic task she could do from home she stayed!!! 

sure do hope there isn’t a boom of fucking people who end up getting it (if that’s what she has, i hope to god it was just sinuses or even the regular flu) because it’s gonna look reeeeeeal bad if they trace it back and are like, “so you guys knew this employee was sick and works in a medical office around vulnerable patients and you just...let her stay?” 

neat!!! 

again, like...i know i should just be grateful my work is still open and i’m still able to have some income, especially since i already mostly work from home, but it’s just so frustrating to see how badly they’re handling this and how the number one priority is making money but then again...why am i fucking surprised? that’s capitalism, babey!!!! 

on top of that, i also finally heard back from my tax guy what that whole situation is gonna be and hoooo boy. 

i get...14 some odd dollars for one (probably state) and 75 some odd dollars for the other (federal, i’m assuming) 

i’m getting...less than $100 in tax return this year.................

bro

on the one hand like...my biggest fear was that i was going to end up owing money and wouldn’t be getting shit, but on the other i guess i had just...hope maybe i’d still manage to get something?? 

i know with my work situation being what it was (and with the government being what it is right now) it wasn’t going to be stellar, i wasn’t expecting $1,000 or anything but uh...i was hoping maybe for a few hundreds?? was hoping i could put a dent in some of these bills?? but uh...that’s fine. 

the frustration of that is compounded by the fact that i’m pretty sure a big part of why it’s that way is because A. my last job was only a 10 month contract so i was SOL for two months and B. to try to cover for that i started back at this job but in a limited capacity so i wasn’t getting enough hours to really compensate and in the process of trying to get hired full time here they kept me on work contract for MONTHS to the point where i thought i’d just have to give up and find something else entirely. 

i had tried when i did finally start full time to set my tax deduction on my checks up so that i was taking out more than enough to try to compensate, but by that point it was so late in the year i guess it didn’t really do a whole lot other than keep me out of the negative so...that’s fine, i guess. 

ultimately i should have known, but i guess with everything else i had just gotten my hopes up that i’d at least have a nice check headed my way and i’m not trying to sneeze at what i am getting because i do still appreciate it i just...was really looking forward to dropping a chunk of that money on some of the shit hanging over my head but okay 

at least at this point one of my credit card bills should be easy to pay off because i’m pretty sure the bts concert i was gonna go to in may is gonna be cancelled at this rate, so i’ll be getting that money back. obviously that’a a real first world problem compared to everything else going on, but it was something i was really looking forward to, one of those “just hang on until this if shit gets rough” kind of deals but with how shit’s been going i don’t feel very optimistic about it. it’s in mid-may and i’m already seeing stuff from other events being pushed to fall so like...neato. it was also kind of like...hey, this time last year you were in the hospital and about to go septic and then had months of bullshit to deal with after that and your personal life got really rough and shit was just BAD, so here’s something special for getting through all of that and now it’s probably not gonna happen and there’s no telling when it will because that’s not an easy thing to reschedule at the last minute so that’s...cool. i completely understand why and i’m not mad about it, i just can’t help but feel disappointed. 

i dunno. i feel like in the past year i’ve really tried to work on myself in terms of not letting myself fall into these horrible depressive episodes and let my anxiety just completely overrun everything and for the most part i’ve been fairly successful although i know i still need to finally make that leap of actually getting into therapy and really getting into the hard work, but the past few days it’s becoming harder and harder to maintain that and there’s a big part of me that just wants to be like, “dude, what’s the point, the world’s ending, who cares if you’re sad and you haven’t fixed your shit yet, it’s not going to matter for you or for anybody, it’s all pointless” so like...that sucks. 

i’m hoping it’s just something i need to go through for a little bit and if i try my best i can come out of it with my head up but for months now i’ve felt one of those really bad depressive episodes breathing down my neck just...waiting for an excuse to take me down and i guess with everything going on i just don’t feel like i have the strength to fight it the way i’ve been trying to. 

i won’t give up, though. not yet anyway. all of this is frustrating, but there’s still a lot i have to be grateful for so i’m going to try my best to just focus on those things, hold on to them, and hope that there’s good news just on the horizon and that better days really are on the way. 

i know still that turning over a new year doesn’t really mean shit and time is fake, but i hope anyway that since this is only the third month out of the year that there’s still time for things to get better. i hope by even thinking that i’m not ensuring that things will in fact get much, much worse but i guess we’ll just have to see. 

in any case, even though i’m dreading going to work tomorrow i guess it’ll be nice to get out of the house. it’s weird, because normally i don’t mind spending a lot of time at home. i work from home and i don’t have any friends that live close by so i tend to just kind of stay put unless i’m going to the store for something or going to pick up food, but the fact that now it’s like...hey, you need to stay put it’s getting to me a little bit. if i’m not feeling better by this weekend i might if nothing else just...go for a drive. 

i won’t go anywhere and interact with anyone or make any stops, i’ll just...get out of the house for a minute before i sink even further into whatever this is. idk. 

if you’ve read all this mess i thank you, i know it sucks to read someone else’s whining while you’ve got problems of your own and shit’s bad just in general, so i appreciate it and i hope that wherever you are and whatever your situation that you’re doing as best as you can be and hanging in there.