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the-conversation-pod · 1 year ago

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Adult Swim

We originally planned to talk about Step by Step during Work, Bitch, and Nini hadn't planned to watch La Pluie until the fall. However, because all of us refused to give up on La Pluie, Nini joined us around episode 8. Both of these shows inspired more writing than we've seen since the heyday of Bad Buddy or I Told Sunset About You. Surface-level engagement was all-but-impossible with either of these shows, and honestly wrung us out more than we were expecting.

It's time for the kids to get out of the pool for the grown folks to talk as Ben and Nini open their third eyes and discuss Step by Step and La Pluie.

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Timestamps

The timestamps will now correspond to chapters on Spotify for easier navigation.

0:00 - Welcome 1:15 - Intro 2:08 - Step by Step 4:40 - Step by Step: A Moment of Simping 8:40 - Step by Step: Big Themes 16:52 - Step by Step: The Romance 25:45 - Step by Step: Story Execution 50:25 - Step by Step: Where are we on Tee Bundit? 53:10 - La Pluie 57:50 - La Pluie: The Soulmate Myth 1:08:22 - La Pluie: Lomfon is Rude! 1:13:30 - La Pluie: Tai Also Deserves Some Smoke 1:18:26 - La Pluie: Tai’s Dad Read as Queer 1:20:48 - La Pluie: The Romance 1:32:06 - La Pluie: Depiction of Male Anger 1:35:50 - La Pluie: Treatment of Nara 1:40:47 - La Pluie: The Side Characters 1:44:02 - La Pluie: Sequel Potential 1:46:01 - Outro

The Conversation: Now With Transcripts!

We received an accessibility request to include transcripts for the podcast. We are working with @ginnymoonbeam on providing the transcripts and @lurkingshan as an editor and proofreader.

We will endeavor to make the transcripts available when the episodes launch, and it is our goal to make them available for past episodes. When transcripts are available, we will attach them to the episode post (like this one) and put the transcript behind a Read More cut to cut down on scrolling.

Please send our volunteers your thanks!

0:00 - Welcome

Nini

Hello, hello! Your QL fandom aunty and uncle are here with giant sunglasses, brown liquor in a flask, a folded five-dollar bill to slip into your hand when no one is looking, lukewarm takes, occasional rides on the discourse, deep dives into artistry and the industry.

Ben

Lots of simping! I’m Ben.

Nini

I’m Nini.

Ben

And this is The Conversation. About once a season, we plan to swan in and shoot the shit on faves, flops, and trends that we’ve been noticing in the BL, GL, or QL Industry. Between seasons, you can find us typing way too many words on Tumblr.

1:15 - Intro

Nini

Hey Ben, what are we talking about tonight?

Ben

Tonight it's time for Adult Swim. Kids: out of the pool! This season led to so much more writing and meta than we've seen in a really long time. There was so much to say about both of these shows that we ended up needing to move both of these shows out of separate episodes and just shove them into one.

Tonight we will be discussing Step by Step and La Pluie, and then we'll return with you all at the end with some final thoughts. Nini and I are bracing for this, because we have a lot to say to each other. [laughs]

Nini

This is gonna be round two of fight night apparently, not on everything but on some things. So you guys stay tuned and we'll see you at the end!

2:08 - Step by Step

Nini

Okay, Ben this time I got my eye black on for you. So let's talk Step by Step. Tell the people, what is Step by Step about?

Ben

Step by Step is a workplace drama that centers around a young man named Pat, who is maybe 25 — there was some confusion about that at the end?

Nini

Shade!

Ben

…who is returning to Thailand after completing some of his graduate studies, and is now working at a large corporation inside of an office tower. He is the low man on the totem pole in the sort of digital division of this corporation, and is having a very difficult time. Very early on, he has a kind of flirty interaction with the largest man who has ever existed in BL, and takes a shine to him, but is disappointed when he realizes he's his boss.

Pat eventually ends up in conflict with his new boss whose name is Jeng…slowly the two of them start to work better together. Jeng ends up putting Pat in charge of a BL advertising project in a mostly queer team, and over the course of the show there ends up becoming this huge misunderstanding between the two of them about whether or not they're on a romantic arc, as the show is also unpacking a lot of really huge themes about where queer people do or don't fit in corporate structures that are more than willing to profit off of them, as Pat and Jeng try to figure out what their relationship is supposed to be.

Nini

I think that was a very fair précis of the plot of Step by Step.

Ben

If you're listening to us and you've watched Step by Step, you may be familiar with the fact that…reactions to the last arc of this show were mixed, to put it mildly. Nini and I ended up falling on opposite sides of the fence on this one, so we have a lot to unpack.

4:40 - Step by Step: A Moment of Simping

Ben

I'm [gonna] let you have this part first: I want you to just go ahead and have your little fun before we get into the big stuff. We can begin with talking about Man Trisanu and how much you really enjoyed his performance.

Nini

His performance, yes, but before we get to his performance…I mean we say in the intro that there is lots of simping on this show, and I've been listening to our old episodes: we haven't simped nearly enough? So I'm just gonna do like a quick two minutes of absolute simping for Man Trisanu, because my god that man is large. That man is so large that for like the first three episodes, every time he came on screen, like my brain made like the boinga boinga boinga sound, like I could not actually focus [laughs] on what was happening — I had to watch episodes multiple times…

Ben

[laughs] She’s just posting awooga gifs in the chat all the time.

Nini

If I was the kind of person who would get embarrassed by this stuff I would have been embarrassed by the way I behaved. But I don't get embarrassed by this stuff, so I wasn't embarrassed by the way that I behaved looking at this man [laughs]...throughout, but especially in the first three episodes. I just kept staring at him. And then as we got like further and further into the show it was very clear that he's also a good actor, so I was invested in the character emotionally? But that also did not stop the fwarh noises in my brain. The man is large. And he's large and he's attractive. And he's large and he's attractive and he's talented. That's basically my kryptonite.

That doesn't mean that I cannot be fair about the show—there are things that I'm gonna say about the show that are not complimentary, even though in the end—I'm just like skipping to the part where I score it, I gave it a 9—there are problems with the show, do not get me wrong. But overall, I found it incredibly enjoyable. And I can't lie to you: Man Trisanu was part of why I found it enjoyable. Not just because he is large and attractive but also because he is quite a good actor. Okay, so I got my yah yahs out.

Ben

Solid 20% of the chat is just Nini going: “THAT MAN IS BIG!”

[both laugh]

Nini

He’s a biggun! [both laugh] At one point I definitely just sent a voice message that said “Timberrrrr!”

Ben

It’s like, it would be Tuesday and everybody's in the chat just, “Lorge.” [laughs]

Ben

In terms of simping, I really like Ben Bunyapol’s work in this one. Nini and I tend to fall on opposite sides of the fence when it comes to…the guys we're attracted to in these shows? Unsurprisingly, she was super into Man and all of his work; I really liked a lot of stuff Ben was doing, and I like Nini's commentary that Ben is definitely someone's problem, right now.

Nini

Oh my god, somebody is staring at the ceiling up at night, like, thinking about Ben Bunyapol because that boy is…I mean, not my style, but I can appreciate good lookin’, I can. That is somebody's problem.

Ben

I really like what he was playing with in this. I really—we'll get into this when we talk about the queer themes in this—I really like the specific type of queerness he portrayed in this. And I know that must have been really difficult to hold with everything else he was doing on the show.

Nini

I concur, he also showed some talent. There’s quite a few newbies in this cast, Ben and Man are both newbies, and you see a little bit of that, but mostly they, I think they acquitted themselves very well.

8:40 - Step by Step: Big Themes

Ben

Since we're disclosing our ratings early in this one: as you all know, Nini gives me a lot of shit on this show about how friendly I am to shows with my scoring? I gave this show a 7.5, because I think the problems in this show make it hard to recommend to people. And the more homework I feel like I have to give people, or pamphlets I have to hand out before they start watching, the harder it is for me to recommend.

However, there are a lot of things to talk about in the show I think are good. And I think because it's Tee Bundit, and we have to talk about how much the sort of…irritated version of queerness that he's carrying around in his work comes through in his stuff? Think we should start with the big themes, because that's what he clearly cared about the most. So Nini, as someone who is thrilled with this show: what are the big themes you think that Tee is going for this time?

Nini

I mean, Tee is a guy who, kind of hits on the same themes in most of his work? And the themes that he likes to hit on are around like, queerness and capitalism, or like around the monetization of queerness and sort of juxtaposing it against the way that queer people are just kind of suffocating under this fog of homophobia. So that's like one of the things that he definitely gets into in this show, like all his other shows.

Another thing that Tee is very into is playing with inside and outside, like perceptions of queer people and how queer people see themselves versus how the world sees them? I think that's a big thing. He loves a family dynamic where everybody knows but nobody says anything, that's another big theme that he's playing with in this. These are the things that show up over and over again in his work, that I tend to respond to. I find it really legible, so I quite enjoy it.

What about you? What kinds of themes did you pick up on?

Ben

The big ideas, like core statements that I can read from this is that: corporations are more than willing to profit off of queer people. They absolutely want to use our talents, our social skills, our managerial skills, and our relationships as well as our lives…to sell shit. But they don't actually want us, particularly in positions of leadership.

Another thing that comes through very clearly is that queer people cannot experience queer joy in environments that demand a very rigid form of conformity. And also, that everything that queer people want for themselves, including their joy, is not something you can have on the timeline of BL. It's going to take literally years for you to find your happiness. Which is so sad!

Nini

One of the things that I think we had discussed a little bit but didn't really delve into is that you feel a cynicism emanating off of Tee that you kind of don't like? I don't know if you wanted to get a little bit more into that, because we didn't really, like, discuss that too much.

Ben

Tee Bundit clearly—oh, there's a man I could simp for. [laughs] I think that man is very pretty, and I like how fucking angry he is all the time. [both laugh]

So, Tee is a director who has a really strong eye. Don't know that he's found an editor who works well with him yet. Or has found a really good screenwriting team to hang out with? But he has a really strong eye, and he very clearly hated being on the TharnType set. That comes through so loudly in Lovely Writer, and you can see that this has affected the way he looks at being an adult professional in so many ways.

Pat is so unhappy in this show. He's so stressed. And Jeng is also so unhappy, because he's so bottled up. It gets a little bit lost sometimes, how specifically pissed off Pat is about everything that's being thrown at him and expected of him. And you can feel that with Tee, that he has to…play to the proclivities of shipping culture, which he clearly despises.

Nini

He's made two shows about it now.

Ben

Quick aside about this, Tee leveled some I think fair criticism of BL as an industry, in that it is profiting off of the appearance of relationships of queer people, but they're all inherently fake, and they're meant to be fake. And apparently a certain set of fans did not agree or like that their ship was used as the example of this, and caused such a stink that they were forced to edit the episode and remove that commentary. And I don't know if this impacted later commentary that may have been in the show. I do not think it would have made the show more legible than it is? But Tee is just so irritated about the inescapability of heteronormativity in his professional life.

You see this for Pat, who doesn't allow himself to even perceive Jeng as someone he could be with, because of the age difference, the class difference, the work difference…and the way that they are queer is very different from each other. You see this with Chot, who seems to be an incredibly talented individual, but is not someone apparently considered for middle to upper management in any way? You've got this with Jaab where he's just like ‘yeah I'm not playing that. I got money, I'm gonna do whatever the hell I want.’

It's so frustrating, because in this show towards the end sequence where they ask Pat to come back for one more ride to try and save this stupid department. They assemble a little team together of queers or queer-friendly people and they end up using everyone's queer adjacent skills in some way shape or form to sell, like, fucking gas stations? [laughs] So they end up having Pat's formerly shitty superior write like, a BL story about looking for, like, a specific fucking juice at the fucking gas station, so that Jaab can very publicly run around on Facebook looking for Jen, the side character he's also pursuing. And then to help pimp this out, they ask Pat to call his ex, who he doesn't want to engage with on this, to help sell this shit—who was also forced to go back into the closet so that he could pretend to be gay with his BL co-star. Which is insane.

Nini

Like when you say it out loud it's like, the levels of bullshit, like Tee is very much about piling on the bullshit. And he's like doing it and pointing to the audience and saying, ‘Look at this! Ain't this some shit? This is the kind of shit that we gotta deal with on the regular!’

Ben

I'm not even done! The head of the company baited them by stripping their marketing budget because he knew his son would use his own money to save this: creating a division between the gays because of lack of loyalty and such. And so like, that comes through fairly loudly.

16:52 - Step by Step: The Romance

Ben

Part of where the struggle kicks in for me with this show is honestly with Pat and Jeng. Like, I have really strong positive feelings about Pat as a character, as an individual, and I have an incredible amount of feelings for Jeng as an individual—and I want to elaborate on those—but like Pat and Jeng as a unit, I feel, was super frustrating and really disappointing in this show, in a way that felt kind of pissy from Tee? Like I feel like…they don't feel satisfying on purpose. And that doesn't sit right with me, because of genre conventions and expectations.

I'll let you talk about Pat and Jeng, because I think you feel a lot better about them than I did.

Nini

Yeah, because I think I had different expectations. I definitely took in at the beginning, or before the beginning of the show, some of the stuff around the show where Tee was very clearly saying this isn't a romance. And as we sort of went through the show, I started to understand what he meant by saying that. I think Tee has a, like a complicated relationship with BL, that much is obvious, and I think in a way, the story that he wanted to tell here—he almost resented a little bit, having to use the romance to tell the story. And it, it shows up on a metatextual level in terms of some of the themes and some of the story points and plot points running throughout the show. He's like, can’t I just tell this story? Why do they have to, like, make out?

There is a tension there, there is a dissonance there. So it's not that I don't understand the problem that people had with it; I understand it entirely. But I was just vibin’. Because…I saw all of that as like, yeah, whatever Tee, like I see exactly what you're saying, but you also put this in here anyway, so I'm gonna enjoy the parts of this that you did put in here. That was my way of dealing with it, and that's why I really enjoyed it—because what he did put in there, for me, between Pat and Jeng? It resonated, because at first it was so much about ‘well this thing can't be and here are all the reasons that this thing can't be.’ It's clear that, like, Jeng is just falling deeper and deeper and deeper, and Pat is just like, I can't, I can't even hear that noise—to the point that he literally drowned the noise out in his own head. To the point where like Jeng actually had to tell him basically, ‘hi, I am actually hitting on you.’ And that, like, it came at the end of like a long tail because also Jeng's very aware that it's, like, an ethical minefield to be hitting on Pat because Pat works for him. So it's just like a swarm of things coming together, in a way that I personally enjoy?

And I, I’ll acknowledge that my enjoyment of this show is extremely personal to just the kind of bitch I am. I just like this kind of, like, dynamics? I like this kind of exceedingly complicated and, ‘this actually is kind of a gordian knot, but still, through that all, I feel the way I feel and you feel the way you feel, and if we could just like figure some of this other shit out—and we're gonna fuck up figuring this other shit out for a while—then it would be solid, it would be golden.’ But like I said, I can completely understand why people wouldn't rock with that. It's dissonant, it's incredibly dissonant, I’m fully aware of that. But I was vibin’. That's just how I feel about it.

Ben

My issue is that the show doesn't say that. And we have to take that as the acceptable read to move on. Like, all of the ideas about how corporate life is evil for queer people are loud themes exemplified through the characters. I was consistently frustrated with Tee in this particular outing, because important gay decisions happen off screen, and that pissed me off. So much of his idea is about how queer people don't get to make choices—and he doesn't show the queer people making the choices they can make.

Like for example, they get together and Pat and Jeng don't discuss what being at work is going to look like for them? Which was so irritating for me, because they don't really know each other? And like I'm totally fine with two bitches just being like, ‘let's just fuck about it for a little while and enjoy this ride while we go.’ But like, they don't say that! Like, we have to take that as meaning, and it irritates me, because he's not subtle about his other shit. It feels a little bit tacked on, because you're supposed to just understand this.

Like—I took that Jeng was broken. I wrote a whole fucking piece about it, about how broken Jeng was by being in the closet as he is, because he lives in a big ass closet. Like his closet was so big I didn't even realize it was a closet, I thought it was an exercise room. No, it's his fucking closet. He lives there, that's insane. But like Pat and Jeng get together, and they don't discuss what being at work is going to be like for them. We don't really see their romance function at all, and they don't give us a sense of the two of them functioning as a pair until the story is over? And that irritates me because what the fuck are they fighting for? Like Jeng is explicitly fighting for the idea of Pat, and Pat is explicitly frustrated that Jeng is trying to manipulate him into the version of Pat that Jeng would prefer him to be. And that is not really confronted in this show. I can't be happy about these two getting together because that particular tension point is just submerged. It isn't dealt with, it's just shoved out of the way. That would have been okay, ‘we're just going to bury this’ is an okay choice, but it's a choice that feels like it happened off screen.

It's frustrating because Pat's choice to break up with the MLM big tall, and his choice to break up with Put happen on screen. Pat processing his complicated post-breakup feelings with Put is executed beautifully on screen. We don't really get a functional version of Pat and Jeng on screen, and it irked me, but it low-key makes me sad, because what if Tee doesn't have enough to pull from in himself to do that properly? But he can handle, like, the painful shit and the breakup shit really well. Like that makes me sad for him…but, like, it irritates me as a viewer. If the desire to be a partner to Pat, and to change because Pat asked him to, is literally the driving force that moves Jeng through the plot—that is text—I hate that when he gets together with Pat, none of the talking about that occurs at all.

Nini

See I had a completely different reaction to that, because to me, from the time that all of that, like, wasn't happening, and then I saw the way that the plot was going, I was just like ‘oh it's a false start.’ That all makes sense to me, like the fact that Jeng spent all this time basically sweatin’ Pat, and finally, like okay, he gets somewhere, he doesn't want to confront the problems. He doesn't want to confront the problems, and Pat doesn't really want to confront the problems because Pat is just, ‘this man wants me, I want this man.’ Like, they don't talk about the issues. They get giddy on each other, they get high, nose wide open, and they don't want to confront the bad shit. So they don't talk about it. It's a false start. They don't talk about it, they don't talk about the fact that they don't really know each other, they don't talk about anything that matters…that to me tells me everything. There's a deep and intense infatuation happening there. And they're burying their heads in the sand about a lot. To me that's deliberate, and that's why it ends up falling apart. It works for me on a narrative level.

25:45 - Step by Step: Story Execution

Nini

I think part of the frustration as well—and I think here we're going to start getting into, like, some of the structural issues—because I said that I did have criticisms about this show. And one of the criticisms that I continuously had was that this show feels like it was edited by monkeys on crack cocaine. There is a lack of a certain amount of cohesiveness to the editing, that makes it hard to follow some of what's happening. Like you have to sit with it and like really train your brain and do one, two, three passes at it, to be like ‘oh yeah, that's what was happening, that's what was happening, that's what was happening.’ So I do take that criticism. I absolutely do take that criticism of the show and I agree with it. That the graph of the show, like the way that it was structured in terms of when the pivot point happens—because it happens almost towards the end—I can see where the frustration comes from, absolutely.

Ben

There's so much in this show that is interesting, but is delivered so haphazardly that you have to work for it. Like, the only useful read I got about the hets and their role in this, was to model what showing up and speaking out looks like versus what sitting on your hands and not saying something looks like. With Khanun and Beam, and their attraction to Ae—who has a baby in a hilariously inaccurate birthing scene…

Nini

[laughs] I’m sorry, you said the birthing scene and I had to crack up, like that was the most like, hand wavy like, ‘I'm a gay man, I don't know how these things work’—like ‘she had a baby, like make it like—do whatever you think having a baby looks like, it's fine, moving on’ [laughs]

Ben

She's pushing the baby! And everybody’s screaming! And POP! It's out! [laughs]

Nini

I don't know how the baby came out, because she was still wearing her pants. But eeehh, let's leave that to the side for now. [laughs]

Ben

I'm okay with that, because everything else was so silly, I get them just not wanting to ask Zorzo to take her pants off.

Nini

There's a thematic reason that Ae has her baby where she does, how she does, when she does, like there's a thematic and a narrative reason for that. But the scene itself is like one of the most cracked-out things I’ve ever seen in my life. [laughs]

Ben

That's the whole problem with the show, like there are good ideas here but like, I don't feel them. I hate that you have to think so hard to get to them. Normally I'm okay with subtext for these sort of things, but…you have to basically rebuild the moments that are occurring in the show so that you can think about stuff.

I ended up frustrated with Jeng by the end, because I feel like his arc peters out. Like there's a, a totally fine read on a lot of these things, but it is so…flat for me. It's fine for a show to make you play with the notion of disappointment? But the disappointment feels…petty, if that makes any sense? Like I don't think the disappointment is built into all the thematic structures. It's just built into the effect that the show wants to engender. It feels a little incongruous, and it's really irritating. I don't mind queer cinema making me feel negative emotions and walk out of a theater going ‘damn, bro.’ I just don't like the way this show is going for that, but also pretending that it's not, towards the end.

Nini

Okay, so here's a thing that we don't normally do, but I think would be useful for this show. So, let's fix it. Our mantra around here is generally: you meet the shows where they are. Right? But: is there a version of this show that you like, and what does that version of the show look like?

Ben

A big problem with this show is, they spend way too much time away from the Jian group office environment. The bubble of the Forge project goes on way too fucking long. The reveal in episode, like, 9? That Pat did not know Jeng was gay this whole time? Is really good, but needs to happen, at the very latest, by episode 8. Because it creates this huge compression effect on the back half of the show, that is so fucking irritating for me as a viewer. The Jeng crying and sad shit is great in episode—10, when that occurs? And like he and Pat get together in episode 11, but the gays need a solid ‘we're going to try to make this work’ episode. You have to put us in the interior of these two settling into each other. We need to understand what we have been yearning for for the whole show up to this point, so that we can understand what they're giving up when they've when they sever—it's romance, they gotta break up, you have to put the characters in a position where they have to figure out, ‘can I go back to the person I was and enjoy my life without this person in my life again?’ The answer is no, because this is fucking romance!—But we need to understand what the romance is and what they're going for.

And all of the development of Pat and Jeng as a couple, that we're supposed to be benefiting from in episode 11 when they're trying to save the stupid little BL project they're working on, feels completely unearned. Yes, I understand that the reason we're not getting payoff is because their relationship is fundamentally flawed as a false start—but it doesn't flag very effectively as one, because we aren't constantly seeing the misfires when they're trying to do stuff romantically together. We need to fully confront the fact that Jeng is brainwashed into thinking that work life integration can work for queer people. It cannot. And we don't get that. So like when they break up, the feeling is like, ‘good, because y'all needed to.’ And not in a satisfying way that another show might have done. We need to move all of the beats from the end of the show back a whole fucking episode.

Also, the decision for Pat to go off and start his own thing, take Chot and Ae, all happens off screen. This is a huge set of choices! Why is Chot running off to be with this twink? Like sure, he's playing fairy godmother in the whole show, but why does he choose to go with him? The audience is left to just figure that out. But so much of this show is about the difficult and complex choices that queer people have to make to survive in a corporate world that doesn't want us. So yes, we can infer that Chot was also frustrated with all this drama at work, and is more than willing to go work with the very talented, very successful little baby gay who showed up at his job, and go off and they gonna get this paper together. I get it. It's fine, it doesn't track as wrong for Chot to do that—but Chot's choice also matters in a show about how queer choice needs to be respected! And they don't show Chot making the choice. Like, the gay choices happening off screen are egregious to me. They need to be unpacked. If the show is about how our choices aren't respected, why aren't we showing the interior decision-making of the choices we're forced to make?

Nini

I'll definitely take your point about where the pivot point of the story happens. It's one of the critiques of this show that I completely agree with. The critical path of this show—like the throughline?—to me is so clear. What happens though, is that the critical path is sort of impacted by…like a bunch of these little side quests. Whether it is that the side quest is too present or too absent, the milestones are happening slightly off schedule. The way that it's sequenced works for me, but the way that things like lag behind or in front of each other are a little…squiffy. In terms of the way that the story is constructed, in terms of some of the things that you feel that you needed to see, or that would have made the story better to be able to see, rather than having to conjure up yourself…like, I get that, absolutely. I don't disagree with that, I think that is a valid and accurate critique of this show. I live in my head a lot [laughs] and so that didn't bother me enough to ding it, but I understand why it didn't work for you, and for a lot of other people.

I think it's just for me that…I was fine with getting pulled along by the story, because I was invested, particularly in Jeng. First they got me with Man being, you know, the size of a barn. And then I started actually paying attention, and they got me with Jeng's character. That's where the show, like, managed to string me along the entire way; I got a hook in, and I'm just like ‘okay, this is what I'm going with.’ But none of the things that you and everybody else is saying about the show are wrong. You're all correct. [laughs] You're all correct. I just…enjoyed it.

Ben

I think for me, both places where this show really broke, and where I really disconnected from this show, were in both of the kitchen scenes, which you loved. Like if we could point to two scenes where things break for me as an audience member? It's the speakeasy scene, kitchen scene—throwing food on the ground, kitchen scene—Pat reconciling with Jeng. It ends up becoming a failure point when Jeng resigns from his company—in his Canadian tuxedo —

Nini

Denim on denim y’all!

Ben

[laughs] And he says to his dad, ‘I have dreams.’ And I'm like, ‘girl, what are they? You ain't said shit for the last three goddamn episodes! What are they? Please sir, talk to the camera, I need to know.’ And like we can infer these things, we can project onto him. I can infer that the restaurant is what's important to him. I can infer that food security for the underprivileged is important to him. But for someone who's as plan-oriented as him, it feels a little weird, that this feels like a undercooked and underdeveloped idea for the character, that's just sort of simmering in the back and I'm like, ‘what, did we even put anything in the pot? Is that just water boiling?’

And so we get to these two kitchen sequences. Chot has chided Pat for not properly receiving someone's feelings, which is an idea that's been all over BL recently, that I'm totally into. Like you can reject people just fine, like you do not owe people any booty at all. But if someone tells you that you're important to them, you should at least acknowledge that they made themselves vulnerable to you, and acknowledge those feelings. Fine, good. Go buy a carrot cake and run to that man. But he goes to Jeng and tries to acknowledge his feelings and Jeng's like, ‘okay, we're together now’ and they make out, and I'm like ‘oh okay, sure, I guess? What? No!’

And this is when the not talking portion kicks in, and then Pat breaks up with Jeng, for what I believe are incredibly valid reasons of feeling like Jeng doesn't trust him or believe in him, because he makes choices for them without consulting Pat. And Pat feels like Jeng is always undercutting him, and Jaab makes a point about this in the final episode—when he doesn't talk to Jen at all? whatever—and says, ‘you kind of manipulated Pat the way Dad manipulated you.’ And I'm like, ‘that's a very, very specific idea, that makes a whole lot of sense, that we're just going to walk away from because this is the last episode—roll the fluff!’

So we get to the second kitchen scene, and I'm trying to accept the emotions of the scene? Of Pat just deciding that he's going to let go of the anger because he really likes Jeng, and he likes what the two of them had together, and he just kind of wants to let it work and figure it out together—the same way I Promised You the Moon ended. And I like that, but it doesn't land here for me? And I ended up really irritated about it. And this is where I get frustrated, like Jeng through episode…10, works for me, but the dead-eyed Jeng of episode 11 and the sad depressive Jeng of episode 12—it feels like he never comes back to life. Which may have been their point, but they went out of their way to try and make me feel like he and Pat are together and they're happy and everything's going to be okay now because they're together in the final episode. It feels unearned, and it feels like they didn't finish the goddamn mission! when it comes to Jeng.

Nini

And for me, it feels exactly the opposite, because those two kitchen scenes are very clearly paralleled, you're absolutely correct: in the first kitchen scene when they're first getting together, they don't talk about anything that's important, they just kind of roll past it. But in the second kitchen scene, they stop, they take a breath, Jeng says, ‘let's talk about this tomorrow.’ He's happy, yeah, but they make a deliberate point of not doing the same shit that they did before. They make a point of saying the things; they make a point of taking a beat; they make a point of taking their time; they make a point of actually talking to each other. And to me that's why it works. I mean it works, as well, for emotional reasons that are just pure, like, me engaging with romantic notions, reasons, and I'll fully admit to that. But to me the fact that those two scenes were so different was kind of the point? And I quite enjoyed that part.

Another problem with the show that I think makes it really not legible for people is the fact that you don't have any sense of the passage of time. Like you really have to work to figure out how much time has passed between any two events in the show.

Ben

And clearly we were on the wrong timeline from the show.

Nini

[laughs] I think they just made a mistake in the last episode. I did a lot of work on the show, but I enjoy that, so I was fine. The timeline is that the first 9 to 10 episodes happen over the course of roughly a year? And then episode 11 is very compressed. I think they do give us a chiron at one point, that you figure out it's like about three months maybe? And then the last episode, it spans years—not just including the time skip, but the actual episode itself.

Ben

It feels like somewhere between three to five years for sure.

Nini

Yeah, the last part of the episode, like maybe the last half hour, is like a series of vignettes? But it's just that the way that it's edited, it doesn't feel like a series of vignettes. It feels like scenes that are happening in sequence, which they're not.

Like I said, the editing of this show, monkeys on crack cocaine and ayahuasca, absolutely. Storyboarding, I'm not sure anybody did any?

I did a lot of work to enjoy the show. But I did enjoy it.

Ben

And I hate that. I hated the sides, like they weren't even in the final episode, they're like ‘yeah we don't care about them, get them the fuck out of here.’ No Khanun, no Jen, just get them out of here. We're gonna be here for an hour and forty two minutes, but the sides required literally zero closure to help stick the landing with the mains? Ugh, man.

Nini

They were there to reinforce thematic ideas, and they leaned way too hard into them as a narrative point when they weren't supposed to be narrative. So yes, completely agree with you, that was a mess.

It's not that I don't agree with you! We're saying that this is a fight night and I got my eye black on, but the reality is that I don't disagree with anything you're saying. It’s just that I was fine with doing that work, and you are not fine with doing that work because you think you shouldn't have to do that work, and that's…yeah, you're probably right about that.

Ben

I'm in the business of recommending things to people because I like enjoying things with people. I will not be showing this to Emily, because I have to explain too much along the way the whole fucking time. And like, I hate that! It shouldn't be this goddamn hard to enjoy the damn show.

I ended up comparing the dissonance around this show to, say, something like 2gether, which I think is remembered fondly because of pandemic stuff, and less because the show is good. Because everybody acknowledges that the show is a goddamn mess, but there's things that they take out of it, they say ‘I really like this.’ And that's how I feel about Step by Step. I loved everything that Man did in this; I think he played a 32 year old repressed gay man really well. But low key…I gotta be honest, I'm a little burned out on feeling a bunch of fucking feelings about sad rich gay boys? Like, the West is obsessed with sad rich gay boys and I am burnt the hell out on it. Like ‘oh no, he's sad, in his penthouse…’ who cares? [laughs]

Nini

I think for me as well, because I've been spending so much time with Turtles’s Asian family trauma lens, that I dug into that side of things, like a little deeply with my brain, and I was kind of enjoying kicking that around to myself as part of this.

Ben

And that’s the thing that sucks! Like Jeng, through episode 10, works so well for me. Like I absolutely loved what Man was doing with Jeng, how he was playing him, how Ben was playing Pat as kind of oblivious to it but unconsciously flirting with Jeng.

We didn't even talk about Up Poompot! Up Poompot was in this show and he whipped ass! Up was so good! Put was an incredible character. So Put is Pat's ex, who was not a great ex to him. This is very clearly a failed first romance on a lot of different levels. Put is ambitious, and he wants a lot more from his life than to just stay in the poor town the two of them grew up in, and he clearly didn't have Pat's skills to go to school…twice, study in America, and come back to Thailand as a highly trained marketing professional who can go into a corporate environment, and even with every goddamn employee in there working on his damn nerves still be the best person that they have on their team. Put doesn't have that: he's pretty and he's charming, and he's an actor. He has to go into BL, and so he can't have a boyfriend. Which is very fucked, that gay people cannot be out in BL. Insane. Put is an incredible character. He is simultaneously deeply unlikable and also incredibly sympathetic. Up is so good in this show.

And I think Ben, who has an incredibly internal character—who really could have benefited from a journal? So that we could hear his thoughts more often—also does a really good job playing someone who is barely keeping it together, and trying to restrain their quick temper. Ben does a good job as a fairly new actor dealing with some really complex internal things that have to be externalized, in a film tradition that leans towards bombastic. That's really difficult to do.

Bruce is in this! Bruce had such a rough character to portray in Lovely Writer, and it was hard to really like that character even if you felt bad for them. So glad we got a character for Bruce that we loved this time in Chot.

Zorzo is in this, she's incredible, we love her. She can do whatever she wants—she shows up on a set and we're just like, ‘hello Zorzo, what do you want to do today?’

It's just so much fun watching this cast work together. Even the new people. Saint had some difficulties with his romantic partner and I think that's because he was new and nervous about doing that right. But he was really really good with Ben: when Jaab was interacting with Pat, Saint was really good, and you can see why he was cast. His chemistry with Ben felt so natural, and didn't read as like weirdly sexual or romantic, which is very easy to fall into in BL when they put literally any boys in the same room with each other.

They did a great job letting queer friendships feel like queer friendships in this show. There's so much that's genuinely good in this show, which is why I feel like I have to give it a 7.5. Like if it had just been kind of bad and muddled? I’d have probably given it an 8 for just pure gumption. But it's frustrating, because it feels like everyone understood what the mission was and the plan fell apart with contact with the enemy immediately, and they did not regroup at all.

Nini

This is sounding like video game stuff.

Ben

I'm kind of pissed! I'm in captain mode right now. I'm assessing the film and going over everyone's screens and we're talking about who fucked up here.

50:25 - Step by Step: Where are we on Tee Bundit?

Ben

The most important thing to ask now is, where do either of us sit when it comes to Tee Bundit and Dee Hup House?

Nini

I am a Tee Bundit fan? I see some of the things that he wants to say. I think that maybe he needs some guardrails? And maybe to lighten up a little bit? Because he has good ideas, and the ideas, he makes them very legible, when he wants to.

I am curious to see how he does with some guardrails. Sometimes an artist needs a few guardrails to really focus themselves. So I am still down with Tee, and I'm interested in seeing the rest of what he's putting out this year. How about you?

Ben

I just want to grab him—like William Shatner in a classic Star Trek episode—by both of his upper arms, and say very clearly: “You got to stop being mean to the audience, bro. They're on your side.” It feels like he's beefing with us the audience, in Step by Step. Like it feels like he resents that the only way he can tell queer stories and get funded is to do queer romance, which I don't know that he's interested in—even though clearly he cares a lot about queer existence. Which is a very complicated space to sit as an artist, particularly with what the zeitgeist is feeling right now?

But I need him to not take that energy out on us as the audience, like we signed up for romance, bro! Stop making us feel bad for wanting that! It just feels like Tee is just mad, and yelling in the room, and we're like ‘I get that you're mad bro, but this is unfun for all of us: we are on your side, and you are taking this out on us.’ He's that friend, who's right…but fuck, dude!

[Nini laughs]

Ben

That's all I've got. It's a chop for me, I'm sorry. [laughs]

Nini

Nah, I mean, sometimes we disagree, my friend, that’s just the way it is. [laughs] For me it’s a 9, for Ben it’s a 7.5, so that works out to…8.25? Yeah, that sounds about right.

Ben

It’s not bad, but it’s not good.

Nini

8.25 for Step by Step, and entry into contention for the Girl You Tried award for this season.

53:10 - La Pluie

Nini

Okay, so we are talking all things La Pluie. Ben, tell us what La Pluie is about.

Ben

La Pluie is a sort of speculative fiction romance, set in a world very similar to ours, where a small subset of the population experience temporary sensory loss whenever it rains as a form of deafness. Of that incredibly small population, an even smaller portion of them, when they come of age—which is 20 in Thailand—they may begin to hear another person's voice whenever it rains. Those people are seemingly tied to each other by this rain-based connection and other people have described them as soulmates.

Our protagonist Saengtai is a 22-year-old who experiences rain deafness. He has three brothers, one older, and both of his parents are what people call soulmates. When he turned 20, his parents wanted him to know that they were getting a divorce, and this shattered Saengtai’s faith in the concept of soulmates, and he spent the next two years actively avoiding speaking to his soulmate at all. Two years later, he happens to run into him in a cafe, realizes his soulmate is hot, and then [laughs] decides to maybe give it a shot. And the show becomes this ongoing exploration of the concept of romance itself, unpacking whether or not the soulmates concept is real, portrayed by incredibly emotionally aware characters.

Our primary four characters are: Saengtai, our protagonist, who's a writer. Patts, his soulmate, who is a veterinarian, and slightly older than him, and very cool. You have Saengtai’s little brother Saengtien, who’s kind of a rascal, who does not have rain deafness but very much believes in the concept of soulmates. And then there's Lomfon, a boy who is also in school with Saengtien, who adamantly refuses to believe in soulmates, and causes his own problems along the way. There's quite a colorful cast of supporting characters, and this is probably…the most legible show that we've ever watched? From the very first scene, this show is nothing but constant payoff.

Nini

Hmm, I don't know about from the very first scene, because as you know, it took me a few episodes to kind of get there. I started and stopped, and then had to be cajoled back in [laughs] and I do not regret coming back in. The line on this for me is that I think soulmates are bullshit. I've never been a fan of this soulmate trope—in the first episode or two, I'm just kind of like, ‘I don't know that they're gonna do anything interesting with this’ and then sometime around…it was definitely around episode 4, and I know it was around episode 4 because isn't that when Tai bit that man? We're gonna talk about this, Ben.

Ben

[laughs] Tai did bite that man, in episode 3.

Nini

Tai, my precious little alley cat, that was when I decided I was in [laughs] and I was gonna keep watching. I mean he literally got drunk and bit Patts, and I was like, ‘okay this is gonna be fucking awesome.’ Who bites somebody??

Ben

Someone unhinged!

Nini

Exactly, that's the point! And you know I love unhinged, so I was in for the duration after that. That was like the end of episode 3 when he bit him? And then episode 4 it just keeps getting better.

57:50 - La Pluie: The Soulmate Myth

Ben

Let's get properly into the soulmate stuff. I stand by my comment that this show begins paying off from the very first scene. We read the blurb, we get our little intro, and he's like ‘we got soulmates in this world; I can't hear when it rains; there's a boy who talks to me when it rains,’ and we were like ‘whoa man, these two are gonna fuck real good!’ And then the show opens with divorce. And I was like, ‘never mind, I am seated!’

Right away, the show is telling you that it is going to challenge the presumptions built into its core premise. It spends the entire time interrogating its premise, with really legible characters. And I think you provided the clearest read on the sort of primary archetypes these characters fit, when you described them in the framework of faith. So, please elaborate on your analysis.

Nini

The key thing all our characters, our key characters are dealing with in the show, is whether they believe in soulmates or not? So you have Tien, who is absolutely a true believer, 100% believes in soulmates, no matter what has happened to potentially shake his faith in soulmates he totally believes in it. Then you have Tai, who I described as an apostate, because Tai used to be a true believer and then his faith was shattered, and so he's sort of gone against believing in soulmates. In terms of their love interests, you have Patts, who is sort of agnostic on the idea? ‘Eh, I don't know, maybe soulmates are real, maybe they're not, doesn't really matter to me. I don't know what to believe but I'm not going to let it affect what I'm doing, and this is the way I feel about things.’ And then you've got Lomfon, who is an atheist: not just an atheist, like a rationalist atheist. He's just like, ‘soulmates are bullshit, I don't buy this, I don't believe in anything that this is happening here.’ And then what the show does with those four viewpoints is sort of, brings them all around to a kind of agnosticism? So in the end, they kind of all get to where Patts started.

Then one of the things the show does towards the end, really at the end, is bring Patts around to being…sort of a true believer? Not necessarily in the sense of the rain deafness connection being a soulmate connection, but believing in the idea of having a soulmate. I don't think that's in any way related to the rain deafness connection at all, but more about choices and the way that he feels about Tai, and the way that Tai feels about him and the relationship that they are building. I found that really interesting, where in the end everybody kind of comes around to the agnostic viewpoint, Patts is the one who moves towards a, a believer, but not in the whole myth.

Ben

I think what works for me really in the show, when it comes to the belief in soulmates or not, is…the show understands that belief without action is meaningless. In the case of Tai and Lomfon, their choices and inaction create immense harm for the people around them that they claim to care about. In the case of Tai, he hurts Patts, for years, with his silence. Like it is totally fine for him to want to work out his comfortability with the rain-based connection privately and on his own time, but he owed it to Patts to say that. Even just, ‘I'm uncomfortable having you in my head, please don't talk to me when it rains.’ That's all he had to say. It's the silence that was really cruel for me. He's hurting Patts and punishing him, because his parents let him down. That's really shitty.

Lomfon glomps on to Tai, for whatever reason, and just determines he's supposed to be with Tai. Actively ignoring the growing relationship between him and Tien, hurting everyone along the way. Whereas Patts and Tien are both actively treating people with immense kindness and care, because of how they believe and how they move through the world. Tien cares a lot about his brother: he knows his brother was hurt by what happened to their parents, and he gives excuses for him and he tries to take care of his brother, he tries to make himself small to take care of his family and the people around them, even if he's a little bit feisty. And Patts, who maybe doesn't care about the soulmate shit at all, sees Tai once: is like, ‘whoa, I am inextricably drawn to this person,’ and pursues him very kindly. The people with the most angst about whether or not this shit is real are the ones doing the most harm to other people. It's the people who are most pissy about faith being the worst in their relationships.

Nini

Look at us here being a couple of lapsed Catholics on the podcast.

[both laugh]

Nini

There is so much that the show wants to say about that idea of faith without works being dead. So much that the show wants to say about the relationship between chance and choice. I think the show itself is agnostic on whether soulmates are real? But I think the show does also say: there is some mix of chance and choice in romance. You ran into this person in a coffee shop—that's chance. But what you do next is choice.

There're little things sprinkled throughout, like Patts and Tai finding out—once they've decided to be together—finding out that they actually had a connection from earlier on, because Patts's grandmother used to live next door to Tai. So when Tai's parents split up and he was like really sad and depressed about it, Patts saw this kid crying, and he just decided to be kind to this kid, and he helped Tai through, like, the immediate aftermath of his parents' divorce. And in return for that kindness, Tai sort of helped him through the death of his grandmother? They never saw each other's faces or anything like that, this was a happenstance. This was a chance encounter, through Patts's kindness and Tai’s kindness in return, that became a connection between them. Again, chance and choice. It was by chance that Patts saw this kid crying, but it was a choice to be kind to the kid next door.

That's threaded throughout the story in different parts, this idea that chance brings you to the table but choice determines what happens when you get there.

Ben

I feel very strongly, as a lapsed Catholic, that none of the beliefs matter if you're just trying to be right. What matters is how you treat people.

Nini

The show is more interested in the choices than the chances, but it does put the chances sort of in there. You know that the show is interested in the choices because of the way that it deals with the parents, and the parents divorce, and how the parents have made it through their divorce and continue to be people who are together in dealing with their children, who still talk to each other when it rains, who have moved out of a romantic phase and into a platonic phase in their lives. To the point where the mom can get remarried to somebody who is more suited to her, and this doesn't affect their friendship.

I really enjoyed the aspects of the show that really harped on the idea of choice, and choosing how you're going to build a relationship with somebody whether it is romantic or platonic, rather than fate putting somebody in your path and that feeling like a predetermination of who that person is going to be to you. That's why in the end, I did come around to La Pluie after not being interested at the beginning. They fucked with soulmates, and I like that.

Ben

I feel the need to rant.

Nini

The floor is yours, sir. Speak directly into the microphone.

Ben

I'm so glad that this show ended by saying that the soulmate stuff was a trap. It was really frustrating to see everybody caught up in the soulmate stuff, and the mechanic of that, as this verification tool. Maybe it's the whole lapsed Catholic thing and having a very complex relationship with faith and doubt? Because I got the whole notion that the purpose of all of this is about choice. It's about what you do with the opportunities you're given, and how you treat the people when you're there.

It was really frustrating to watch so many members of the audience just really struggle with this show, because they needed the soulmates thing to either be bullshit, or to be confirmed. I really like that the show very politely sidesteps answering that, because what matters is how people treat each other. The opening scroll of the show is a happy couple that is a guy with rain deafness hanging out with somebody who is not. Like these things were legible from the beginning for me, and it was so…tedious, week in and week out, dealing with the, like the weather report: “Are the soulmates real this week?” Stop.

Nini

Since we're ventilating the show's take on soulmates so to speak…

1:08:22 - La Pluie: Lomfon is Rude!

Ben

Yeah, let's talk about somebody who clearly got it wrong, in the show!

Nini

[laughs] Let's talk about Lomfon getting that ass beat, and why it was absolutely necessary.

Ben

We're gonna begin where we always sat: Lomfon is rude! And Patts should have punched him harder.

Nini

[laughs] I like just, I heard like a million people just turning the podcast off at this point—but it's, it's true, it's a fact.

Ben

Look, I do not care. Here's the thing: Lomfon is beefing with people for no reason, from the jump. He's beefing with Tien in the store over a goddam magazine. He's beefing with other classmates. He has no goddamn friends.

Nini

He was rude to Bow! He was rude to Tai's boss, and he likes Tai, and he still couldn't muster up like a shred of interest in anything she was doing, or even general politeness to shake her hand and say hi how you doing. Rude!

Ben

He only cares about what he's thinking about, there's no regard for other people. Like yeah, sure. He's like, 20. And like, kids gotta grow up at some point. But also, tastin’ a little bit of fist will reorient your life a little bit sometimes.

Nini

[laughs] True!

Ben

He's just so dramatic! There's this development over the course of the show, where Tai ends up with two different soulmates with connections to him. Lomfon is like, ‘I'm hearing Tai’s voice when it rains.’ Instead of, like sending, like a group text, saying, like, ‘hey, I believe something very strange may have happened to me, I think we should all meet up next Sunday at four o'clock—because I've checked the weather and we should all be together for this.’ And they could have handled this like adults and talked about stuff. No. Lomfon is rude and selfish, and so he needs to corner Tai in the rain, kiss Tai, and be like ‘whoops, my bad!’ And then when Patts rolls up on him throwing haymakers, he's like ‘whoa bro, no, he's mine!’ He's yours? Little boy. Please.

I got a lot of smoke for this motherfucker, I got some notes over here. This dude hung out with Tien at a cast party, cuddled with drunk Tien, calls his brother because Tien needs a ride home—and then while Tien is mostly unconscious, flirts with his older brother? Gross.

Nini

He's in his own zone. He's not thinking about anybody else, he's not interested in whether what he does affects anybody else and how it affects anybody else. And it takes, yes quite frankly, a jaw rockin’, for him to get his head out of his ass. Completely concur that it was needed.

Because I mean, think about this okay? Even if he actually liked Tai—which he doesn't really—does he think that this is the way to go about getting Tai? Let's ponder this for a second, just a short second, okay? It doesn't even make sense. And then, he thinks that maybe he might feel something for Tien, he doesn't know…but instead of, I don't know maybe, hm! going on a date with Tien instead of Tai—like there's so many other ways that Lomfon could have gone about what he went about. He just did it in the messiest way possible. Everybody was already telling him, ‘look I'm seeing what you're doing here and I'm gonna need you to take a step back.’

Ben

Tien picked up on it because they were on that mountain, and he saw Lomfon starting shit and looking at his brother, and he pulled that motherfucker aside, he said, ‘I am a third son, bitch, I will bury you on this mountain! Don't ever look at my brother again! Their relationship is theirs, and if you fuck with them one more time, they will not find your fucking corpse on this mountain.’

Nini

Everybody who saw it told Lomfon, ‘yo, you need to mind your own business.’ And if they didn't tell Lomfon, they told Tai—so Bow told Tai, ‘look, Lomfon’s up in your business. You need to say something and get that kid away from your business.’ Tien told him mind your own business. Patts told him mind your own business—because Patts definitely knew that Lomfon had a crush on Tai.

Ben

And Lomfon’s like, ‘well I heard Tai's voice in the rain, so now it's my business,’ and instead of talking to Tai properly, he's going to go like beef with Patts and be like I'm taller than you, so.

[both laugh] That boy got on my goddamn nerves! Like, he's an excellent character.

1:13:30 - La Pluie: Tai Also Deserves Some Smoke

Ben

Let's talk about how Tai needed that ass whooped too.

Nini

That's what I was about to say, like, we're on Lomfon and Lomfon deserved it, but Tai also deserves some smoke and I'm here to give it to him. Tai, baby boy. Patts carried you down that mountain after you ran up there in the first place offa some bullshit. He had to carry you back down that mountain, y’all come back down the mountain as boyfriends. You looked at that man in the car and told him ‘I want to stay over at your place tonight’ and that man beat land speed records to take you back to his house. You literally got the booty in every single room in that apartment.

And then you decide to go on a date-not-date with Lomfon? I feel like it was a little bit too—like he was slightly flattered?

Ben

Let me just read Tai his rights. [Nini laughs]

This man, after finally getting what he thinks he's wanted this whole time, realizes there may be a situation going on with his brother's friend. He coulda asked his brother, like at any moment: ‘yo what's up with Lomfon, like Bow is already saying dude was sniffing around, and he asked me you to do some sort of thing, and I dunno how I feel about it. What's up with you and your little friend?’ And Tien could have been like ‘oh noooo, I actually like him, why is he doing this like?’ He could have solved this any number of ways that were less dramatic than ‘let me lie to my boyfriend because I'm worried how he's gonna handle knowing that this little dude is sniffing around’—as if he didn't already know.

It is so frustrating that Patts—who is clear from the beginning that his primary concern was Saengtai’s comfort and happiness—for Saengtai to just actively ignore this man's vocalized needs. Man is telling you, he wants you to say the things. And you're like ‘well, don't my actions show it?’ No baby boy, because you're out here with some other dude in the middle of the motherfuckin’ rain, and you need to do better.

And then! That boy is at his mom's wedding. Your dad has said he is happy for her. He likes the guy that she's gonna be with, and he's happy for the life that they're gonna have. And this boy ruins their wedding, making it all about him, because he's mad that his parents’ soulmate thing didn't work out. Oh I was so mad at that boy.

He was so frustrating as a protagonist sometimes, because he just shits on all the relationships in his life. He shits on his mom. He’s low key shitting on his dad. He relies on his little brother too much without really paying attention to him in a meaningful way, and he beats up on Patts. And he does the same thing to Bow, like he works with Bow. She's clearly covering for him at work. Because he works with a bunch of other people and refuses to ever learn their names or really engage with them.

Nini

This is not to say that we do not love my little alley cat Tai, but he is a fucking alley cat. [laughs] He has the predisposition and morals of one, quite frankly. Like he's scratching and biting…in some ways he's just as rude as Lomfon. But like, you see where all this stuff comes from. And you want him to like, just for a second like, dude, retract the claws, and stop making decisions for people that are more about what you want and what you're interested in than what they want and need and have said that they want and need.

Ben

This is what I mean, like, the show being legible and saying the same thing the whole time. Like, as early as episode 2 Tai is like, ‘hey I found my soulmate,’ and Tien says quite plainly, ‘you fucked with love: unfuck it.’ And when he finally has that confrontation with his parents where they show him the complexity of human relationships, where his dad also says, ‘when you have love you need to take care of it.’

It's so funny, like, for all that Tai is obsessed with his dad, Tien is the one who picked up on his dad's, like, core skills. And Tai is so much like his mom, I'm really glad the show finally recognized that towards the end. Tai recognizes that he's doing to Patts what his mom was doing to him: not giving him any information, leaving him to suffer in silence without giving him the context that he's desperately needing. And it showed a lot of growth that he finally got his ass together, and spent the whole episode running around looking for that man, because goddamn.

1:18:26 - La Pluie: Tai’s Dad Read as Queer

Ben

I wanna get this aside in here, how Tai's dad read as queer to me the whole time, I don't know if he did to you?

Nini

He did, but I didn't know if that was the actor or the character.

Ben

I think it may have been both, and I think I like the way the show handled it. I think it was very useful for subtext to show that Tai's dad is queer? And to not confirm it at the text level. Because La Pluie is not interested in structural homophobia. But I thought it was a really interesting premise to consider what happens if a straight person and a gay person think they're soulmates. What happens if a man who knows who he is goes into a straight marriage, loves his sons, loves his wife, but they can't work, because they can't be the kind of partners they need to be to each other. Which is exactly what the show says, without saying it’s because the dad was queer.

And I think I really like the show leaving that as subtext for us to consider? Because the show does such a great job at building emotionally intelligent gay relationships otherwise.

Nini

I think there were lots of markers for it, like there were markers in the character themselves, there are markers in the relationship that the father and the mother had, the way that the mother was the breadwinner and the father was the caretaker. There are markers in the father's chosen profession, he's a chef. There is a, sort of a marker in this idea of him being—I think it was a private chef to some ambassador and spending a lot of time with this ambassador? All of these are things that I picked up on, and I don't know if they were easter eggs or if they were just throwaways, but there were lots of like tiny little markers.

Ben

And also him being the one to actually say that they should break up.

Nini

Yeah, there, there are lots of tiny little, like I said, could be read as markers, could just be coincidental, but the show is so well constructed that I am loath to leave it to the idea of coincidence.

Ben

I agree. I think it's well done.

1:20:48 - La Pluie: The Romance

Ben

Tai needed to get his shit together, because as far as I'm concerned Patts is maybe the most perfect romantic interest that BL has ever created. And that also feels really intentional for the themes that they're unpacking.

Nini

La Pluie is a romance novel. Like, if you look at the way it's structured, the way it's organized, La Pluie is a romance novel that is sort of an anti romance novel, almost? And in a romance novel, the love interest is essentially perfect. If they have a flaw, it's something that is, ‘my only flaw is that I care too much’ or some shit like that, you know, that kind of thing? [both laugh]

Patts fits into that mould in a way, but it's also subverted a little bit? So, he's handsome, he's a vet, he is kind to animals, he’s kind to people. He's very sweet, he is a hundred percent into Tai.

Ben

He drives a Porsche. He has a very nice apartment.

Nini

[laughs] He's rich. You know what I mean? All the markers of like the perfect romantic hero.

Ben

He has no family drama.

Nini

None whatsoever…he has a little tragic backstory with grandmother dying…like he’s the perfect romantic hero in a trope sense. Listen, I think sometime around the time that Tai bit that man— and yeah I'm still not over it—

Ben

He did bite that man.

Nini

I remember saying to Ben, ‘oh so like Tai’s an alley cat, but Patts is a literal angel.’ Because after he bit that man and then he threw up on him, still that man took him home, let him, like, lay in his bed. He gave him clothes, left him alone to change his own clothes, and then in the morning when he woke up hungover and couldn't remember shit, he woke up and there was a note because he had cleared out, he didn’t wanna make him feel awkward or anything like that. He cleared out, he left a note saying all the things that he did the night before, because he didn't know if he was going to remember…He was perfect about it. He was such a gentleman.

Ben

As one of the leaders of the Patts defense squad, I'm gonna have to lead a charge for my boy. Because my man is the best communicator. He clearly understands that something is wrong with his soulmate, doesn't pressure him to talk to him; just talks back to him, tries to be kind to him, tries to say nice things to him. Eventually sees a guy who he wants to pursue. He does not know that it’s Tai. But the first thing he does that night is like, ‘hey I don't know what's going on with you, but I saw the cutest boy that has ever existed, and I'm gonna pursue him, so uh, deuces!’

So they end up at this club, Tai gets low-key abandoned by his friends, so Patts takes care of him. Tai bites that man, tries to bite him again. Later that night starts fussing with Patts, accusing him of being a player, and then makes out with him! Like yes, he was drunk, but—makes out with him! Like bro! Patts starts pursuing him earnestly after that, by leaving the note. And then Tai, who does have communication skills and social skills, does the cutesy thing you would do in a movie. He's going to return the fucking clothes to Patts in a cute little bag waiting outside his job. And the two of them go out on the cutest little date, full of all sorts of great stuff.

Also, like, I haven't talked about it that much here: Title is really really good. I love the way Title and Pee both play their characters in this show. The way Title played Tai during that dinner they had? Was so good. At one point when he asks Patts, ‘do you always eat like this?’

Nini

And he points with the knife?

Ben

And he points with the knife, it is so, so perfect! And Patts is so clever. Like Tai wants to hang out and they want to go on the date and he's like, ‘let me not…bullshit about who I am.’ They ride in his Porsche to a fancy restaurant that Patts clearly frequents regularly because the staff recognizes him. He hands Tai the menu and asks Tai what he wants. Tai, who also has social skills and is like ‘I don't know about this, I don't know what the rules are here,’ decides not to make the choice on ordering something, ‘cause he's not trying to hit him up style. So he passes the choice to Patts, and then Patts makes a neutral choice by just saying ‘we'll have whatever the chef’s special is for the day.’ By making the neutral choice to just accept the chef’s special, even though Patts picked the place, he is making sure Tai understands that Patts will not be forcing him to do anything.

I just really love their date, like there's so much there; Patts is really charming, he's funny…and then moving along, the next thing Tai does, which is insane, is introduce Patts to his dad without warning. And the dad ain't shit either, picking on Patts the whole time.

Nini

[laughs] It was funny.

Ben

He hangs out with their dad, and immediately Patts’s instinct is to show the proper respect to Tai’s father. He doesn't get in the middle of their fight. He doesn't ask about it. He just sort of gives them a way to end the fight now, he politely asks about Tai and his other brothers, giving Tai a chance to talk about his family if he wants to. They go back to Tai’s place. Patts, not really thinking about it, walks in on Tai while he's changing, gets to see all the goodies. And then they have this intense moment, and they end up making out on the floor.

I want to make a special note here about La Pluie: La Pluie is one of the first BLs that I can really remember, ever, that when there is a moment of intense sexual tension, releases it. So often these shows just bait us. They titillate us, they want us to get all hot and bothered about ‘whoa, they's ‘bout to kiss’ and then they interrupt it with some nonsense. Or they just don't do anything with it and they tease us and they make bits out of it. And as much as I enjoy these shows, it was so refreshing to see a show go, ‘what if we release it? What if they actually start making out on the floor? What then?’

I get frustrated a lot of times in BL about how they make these boys dickless. And there's this really lovely thing in La Pluie that Patts’s concern was Tai's pleasure. But they stop, because Tai isn't ready. And though Patts was a bit caught up in the moment, he catches himself. And they back off, and they have a conversation about what else is going on. Patts learns a little bit more about Tai—low key they played with some of the yaoi framing in that moment, because as big as Pee is, he crouches himself down and makes himself lower than Tai, and is kind of looking at, up at him in cute ways—because you'd expect Patts to be maybe the seme in this sort of framing—and they do that early on by putting Patts on the left with the date shit when Tai goes to see him, but Patts is queering that narrative by intentionally moving himself to the right when he's trying to get closer to Tai.

When they're on their Chiang Mai trip, one of the most insane things this show does that I will never get over, is…they’re sharing the bed, both of them are awake. They know what's going to happen, we know what's going to happen, but everyone knows Tai is not exactly ready, because we haven't climbed that mountain yet. We haven't dealt with the core angst. We're both two men who are very attracted to each other, and we know we're attracted to each other—so they start to get hot and bothered, but Tai has them stop again, and Patts, our strongest soldier, pulls himself back again. But Tai, listening to his good sis Bow, is like ‘I can't keep leaving this man hanging, I can't keep starting these things and then not finishing it.’ He offers to blow Patts and it was very explicit that that's what happened. We know!

It's so impressive to me that this show presented Tai giving Patts head as a way for him to maintain control over a sexual encounter. The whole notion about giving pleasure as a form of control is something we have not really seen explored in BL this way. I really liked that this show focused on the different ways that two men are going to become more physically and sexually comfortable with each other over time. And even after everything, after Tai has cast him aside, he still chooses to go back to Tai and try and reconcile with him, because he did lose his temper. And that was a scary moment. And I think I like that Patts losing his temper was made as jarring and scary as possible in the show, because I feel like really perfect characters need to have this intense rage about them. Because I have never met a chill pacifist in my life. The choice to be kind is so hard in a world full of cruelty, and I like that underneath the surface of Patts is a temper that he has to manage and maintain. I love my man.

Nini

I can't remember who it is, somebody put this on Tumblr: that Patts is kind but he's not always nice, and Tai is nice but that he's not always kind.

Ben

Exactly.

Nini

Tai seems like, you know, gentle and soft. But when it comes down to it, Tai is the one in the narrative who's actually kind of cruel? It's very interesting to put that on a romantic protagonist. How it ends up getting read is incredibly interesting, because that person is the romantic protagonist, it ends up getting…cast aside, and here I go back into Calvinism and the green flag label [laughs] that I thought I had ventilated with Bed Friend.

Ben

[laughs] As soon as you said that my third eye opened, and I was like—

Nini

Here I go again!

Ben

Where—where's my bat?

[both laugh]

Nini

I didn't get this out of my system the first time, somehow. But yeah, the way that that's received in a protagonist, the fact that the protagonist is kind of a little bit of a bitch boy, quite frankly [laughs], gets glossed over, and then the person who made a mistake has it sort of loom large.

1:32:06 - La Pluie: Depiction of Male Anger

Ben

I got a little bit mad about that with the fandom too like, we got all this bending over backwards week in and week out for Lomfon's rude ass and Tai’s rude ass. Patts loses his temper once, punches a boy, punches a wall, and we're like ‘oh! he's dangerous!’ And I'm like, ‘I hate this!’

And there's a lot more I want to unpack here in the future — this does not feel like the right time to do it, but we really need to talk about that at some point, as a community that engages with romance? Because we have a really fucked-up relationship with violence. Like, Patts, not leaving a mark on Lomfon was seen as egregious. Punching a door in frustration was seen as egregious. But like, Bad Buddy opens up with Pran shit-kicking Pat to the fucking ground, as these boys beat the shit out of each other!

Nini

I think like, it's a lot of things. It's a question of who gets to be angry, and how anger is portrayed, and men's anger, and the way that women—because of the way that we have to be socialized to protect ourselves, the way that we view men's anger that is sort of slightly different from how men will view men's anger? And how being familiar with certain kinds of angry expressions from men is, like, one of the reasons that women shrink from that kind of stuff. And there's so many women in BL fandom.

Like I understood where that was coming from, but at the same time, the show is so legible. It's very legible that this is Patts…reaching the end of his rope, and it's very clear in the show that Patts would never actually hurt anybody. [laughs] He doesn't even really hurt Lomfon. Lomfon is fine! He gets his ass kicked a little bit, but he's fine!

Ben

As our great friend wen-kexing-apologist pointed out, this show has a makeup budget. My boy Tai got his shit fucked up on that mountain, and the makeup crew made sure he looked messed up even in that wet filming situation. They could have afforded to make that boy's mouth bruised the way it should have been for talking the way he was, and my man doesn't. And that's the thing that gets me. Like, everybody else is allowed to be an asshole, but Patts, who I believe deserves to be righteously angry about this shit going down at this point in their relationship—and it's like ‘aw, geez, I don't know about that brah.’

We see, through Patts’s relationship with Nara, that he would never actually hurt Tai. And that's why the intensity of his frustration I think should have been the focus, not the expression of it. I really resented the way it felt like everyone suddenly wanted to regulate Patts’s frustration. I hate the whole notion that he is only allowed to be upset in an attractive, gentle way. Because he's been gentle the whole goddamn time, and everyone has been so rude and disrespectful of him.

Nini

Like, there is room to talk about the expression of Patts’ frustration, but you can't have that room if you're using it in a reductive manner to just completely kick him out the window as a character. I don't buy that, I don't subscribe to it.

1:35:50 - La Pluie: Treatment of Nara

Ben

With Nara, we saw that Patts is capable of dealing with difficult romantic situations. Because Nara is treated so sympathetically about everything that went down with her and Patts. How she feels frustrated about Patts’s soulmate connection with Tai, long before they start talking, I think is valid. Because she felt frustrated. She felt frustrated that anytime it rains, Patts gets moody, and it feels like somebody else is in the middle of their relationship. And you got the sense from them accidentally making out in the rain one time, where Patts immediately cut it off and apologized, that he didn't want to put Tai through that, even before he knew who Tai was. I got that Nara felt frustrated that her intimacy was scheduled around the goddamn rain. She felt an innate jealousy in her own relationship that she knew she was struggling with and couldn't exactly cope with. It wasn't fair to either of them. Patts is like, ‘look if I can get rid of this I would, because I do care about you.’

Nara takes some time. She gets to reflect, she decides to grow. She knows that it's hard out here in these goddamn streets, and Patts is a keeper, and she tries to do the big romantic gesture. And that's why Tai liked her! Because that boy loves big romantic gestures! And Patts lets her down, he apologizes, he's like ‘I'm sorry I may have led you on, I want things to be okay between us. Because what happened between us was real, it mattered to me, and I still care about you even if I can't give you my heart like that anymore.’ Yeah, “we should stay friends” is kind of a cliche, but it feels earned here.

And I also like that Nara got to be disappointed and heartbroken and upset about it too. I liked that people cared about how she felt. They wanted to reintegrate her into the group. The other vets liked Nara, even if she wasn't going to be Patts’ girlfriend anymore. But they understand that in the breakup, they're Patts’s friends. And you know those people respect relationship dynamics, because they didn't just look to Patts to see if Nara was okay to be around, they look to Saengtai, to see how the new person was going to feel about that—particularly because he just ran up a fucking mountain because of her—and he says it's okay, and they were so eager to reintegrate her into the group.

And then she and Dream get to get rolling. And they let us have them at the end! She was like, ‘look, we only got five minutes left in this show, if you going to get this shit you better come correct and you better come now.’ And I loved that! Because the girlies deserved it.

Nini

She said, ‘I'm grown, give it your best shot.’

Ben

I saw some frustrations with the ending, and how a lot of the episode was Tai running around by himself, and meeting some random characters at the end, and…us not spending a lot of time with Patts, like Patts not really talking at the end? But it works for me. Tai had to deal with the silence, for the first time—that he inflicts silence on so many people, and now he's the one who has to sit in the shit that he made.

And I liked him meeting a couple that had challenges to deal with in their relationship, and being told once again, ‘you just got to do the work bro, you gotta talk to each other, you gotta listen to what your partner is saying to you.’ And I like that the final scene with Tai and Patts is Tai not hesitating.

Man! This show was so rewarding to watch because it wasn't trying to trick us.

Nini

The show was wearing its bona fides on the tin. It was very clear where it wanted to go, what it wanted to do. It wasn't playing with us. It wasn't trying to gotcha with us. It was just laying out its central idea, and continually reinforcing it throughout the story and the narrative for the entire way through.

Does that make it, like, unpredictable and exciting? No. But it made it really enjoyable to watch: to watch something lay the path, and then walk the path, was more fun than it, I expected it to be, I have to say.

1:40:47 - La Pluie: The Side Characters

Nini

And, when we're talking about laying the path and walkin’ the path—man, let's just get to it, let's talk about Tien and Lomfon.

Here are the polar opposites, okay, because in Tai and Patts, like you have an agnostic and an apostate, like they're not as far apart as somebody like Tien and Lomfon, who are a true believer and a total atheist. How do they get to the middle? All the shit that happens in the middle, especially, [laughs] how do they get through that and find their way through each other? Basically, Lomfon has to grovel, and I enjoy a good grovel, so I had a great time.

Ben

Here's the thing. My boy Tien deserves so much more than he got. My man initiated a gay pinky touch, and then Lomfon, was like, ‘hm! I don't know what's going on, but I know that I have these special signs from the universe about this stupid key chain, that I need to go kiss this boy's brother, not the one reaching out with the gay pinky touch while taking care of me while I'm sick, twice!’ I'm gonna stay mad at this man. [both laugh]

This man ruined a gay pinky touch. Tien is so patient with both of them. Like Patts is beating up Lomfon, Tai is screaming at the universe, clearly suddenly they can all hear in the rain, Tien doesn't know what's going on—but he cuts through the bullshit right away with Lomfon, it's like, ‘I liked you! Why are you being like this?’ Even when Tai didn't realize what was going on, Tien holds back his own disappointment that his brother maybe didn't necessarily see him the right way, and still says, ‘thank you for always being on my left.’

Ahh! I love that boy so much! He's so good, he deserves so much more. He was dressing like an early 2000s lesbian the whole time, serving nothing but constant looks. He was so fun to watch, especially when he was being kind of sassy with everyone.

Nini

I like Tien as a character, I like his wardrobe…don't even get me started. That outfit he wore to the wedding? Unreal. I loved it so much.

Ben

I loved it. It's so good. Oh my god.

Nini

Un. Real.

Ben

That whole family looked good, like holy shit! [laughs]

Nini

We didn't even talk about Saengnuea! And oh god, we're never going to get forgiven by one of the clowns if we never even bring up Saengnuea.

Ben

He was so awkward and goofy! I, I liked that boy too. I loved Bow, I loved the vets—what's so great about the side characters with La Pluie, is they do their role just enough to help us understand the world in which these characters exist. Like Tai is surrounded by people trying to just pour love all over that boy, and he will just not let them. Patts is surrounded by a community that loves him, that wants the best for him, that wants to make sure that he gets what he deserves too. Oh my god, just—what an excellent show.

1:44:02 - La Pluie: Sequel Potential

Nini

The thing that I think that we want to end up on is, I said before that La Pluie is basically a filmed romance novel. If you are aware of how, like, these romance novels get set up—a lot of the time, it will be multiple stories set in the same universe, where each of the characters basically gets to fall in love. We know at least that the La Pluie people seem to want to get into all of the Saeng brothers and their various romances. I don't know if they will get to, but what do you think about the obvious setup for the Saengtien sequel at the end of the show, and this idea of going into, like, a Bridgerton-esque series of romances using all of the same characters?

How do you feel about that?

Ben

Honestly…I’m a little bit nervous because I just worry that the audience won't respond to it really well. I feel like a significant portion of the audience just actively did not get La Pluie. They were really caught up in the soulmate stuff. And I just feel like a lot of the audience maybe didn't…gel with all the themes?

Nini

So as usual, Ben is the one thinking about everybody else while I very selfishly think about myself. [both laugh] And I'm just like, ‘give it to me.’ I'm ready, I'm here for it. I trust these writers, I trust this director, I think that if they get a chance to delve into this universe in more detail and focusing on different characters, I think that they can nail it? I'm ready to see what happens if they get a chance to do it.

I don't care about whether people are going to get it correctly or not, I don't. I kind of care, but at the same time I don't care. So that being said: Ben, is this a ten or a chop?

Ben

La Pluie is probably in my top five BLs of all time, and it's probably in my top ten shows of all time right now. It's a 10. It's a 10. [laughs] It’s a 10!

Nini

All right? So for Ben it’s a 10, for me it’s definitely a 10, that leaves us with La Pluie as a 10 show!

1:46:01 - Outro

Ben

And we're back.

Nini

Okay Ben, so…lotta ink spilled over these two shows. I don't think I've seen so much meta being written, probably since the Bad Buddy era. We've got a strange combo here: a show that was incredibly legible, and then a show that made you work a little bit harder, and in both instances it feels like people didn't get it? [laughs]

I don't know, what are your thoughts? What do you feel about this?

Ben

One of the big stories of this year is BL maturing as a genre and beginning to genre blend. Like in a lot of ways, La Pluie wants to straddle the line between BL and classic romance, and I think it does a pretty admirable job at it. Whereas Step by Step feels like the BL elements that it's trying to manage are holding it back from what it really wants to be. That feels like the sort of thing that inevitably happens with this type of outgrowth.

La Pluie doesn't really want to say things sort of directly or inherently about queerness, it wants to talk about romance itself. And romance as a genre. Whereas Step by Step really wants to talk about queer stuff in a real world, and that's a whole lot messier to deal with. They both did some things really really well, and the audience connected to that. And what fascinated me so much about it was that the audience felt compelled to talk to each other about it. I felt like that happened maybe more organically on its own with Step by Step? Some of us kind of forced the issue on La Pluie. I know that I was part of it, like very, very directly, and it's been fun seeing people respond to that, by just us saying very earnestly: please tell us what you're thinking. And engaging with what people are writing.

I think it's good for us and the genre to take it more seriously? It has been really fascinating for me seeing people engaging the way they are, but I legitimately feel a bit fatigued by it. And like, the last time I felt fatigue in BL, truly, was at the beginning. I know a lot of you don't watch as much content as I do, like you couldn't possibly do it, it's not healthy for you. I don't know how starved some of you have been for content that you can genuinely connect to, that can help you feel a little bit less lonely about yourself. And like I’d never gotten tired of queer cinema—I’d gotten hurt by it, but I'd never gotten, like, genuinely tired of just being in it that long.

And I feel a little tired from all of the intense writing that La Pluie and Step by Step kind of demanded of us. It's a really fascinating time for me as a fan, to feel like the shows are demanding more of us as viewers, as we watch them, than to just be pleased by them or intrigued by them so that we'll engage and buy merch and stuff. It was really fascinating having two shows this season that really feel like they wanted us to think about things along with them.

Nini

I know that you and I have talked about that feeling of fatigue, like for me, this is the most anything I've watched in years. The level of exhaustion that I felt, and then to have these two shows sort of spring up at the end of the season, and demand—you’re correct—demand my attention…not just in terms of the shows themselves, but then in the reaction to the shows. It's sort of left me a little hollowed out, almost, a little wrung out? I don't know yet if in a good way or a bad way. It's yet to be seen.

I remember saying to you at one point, I was like, I need something mindless to just sit and watch for the next couple of weeks, at least. Or, like, maybe longer, I just need something that I don't need to think about. And that's not a place that I'm accustomed to being in media? Because I am normally the let's get deep into it, let's get into the guts, put your arm in and come back with a beating heart kind of girl when it comes to the stories. And right now I'm just like, eh, I want something shallow and surface that I don't have to think too much about, please, just for a little while. And then I can re-engage my brain later. It's a very strange place for me to be in, I don't think it's a place that I've ever been in? But yeah these these two shows, they took it out of me, I gotta say.

And that's how we end the season ladies and theydies! We are a little wrung out, and we'll probably talk about that a little bit more in the Lagniappe. But yeah! We tired, y'all. [laughs]

Ben

It’s gonna be fascinating, like, getting to listen back over this, because we talked really in the season about how slow it was for me to get into the spring season, coming off of the the winter hangover from Moonlight Chicken, Utsukushii Kare, My School President and The Warp Effect. And it's weird now at the end of the spring season, where…I don't necessarily feel like a tired hangover from it? It's a hard feeling to describe because the winter shows were really good, really hit something in me…

Nini

The winter shows were emotionally intense. There was like a heavy emotional hangover coming off of the winter. I don't feel that emotional hangover now, but I feel mentally drained.

Ben

Yeah, it's a far more cerebral feeling, and like the thing for me is, I grow stronger on that feeling. [both laugh] It's gonna be, it’s gonna be hard for me if these new shows don't keep up! ‘Cause, it's what I want! I do not want to yuck anyone's yums, like, there is absolutely a place for fluff in this genre. I will never, ever vote against the silly and fun shows. I just also really love meaty shows that make me think really hard while I'm watching them. And I love when that feels intentional—like we do a lot of hard thinking on our own about these shows, but damn is it satisfying when it feels like the show itself is in that conversation with us. And I really hope that this isn't the last time we have an Adult Swim episode because we got a bunch of really thinky shows to think about.

Like, I was very harsh to Step by Step when we talked about that show, but I don't want Tee to stop thinking as hard as he does. I want him to stay in the guts of trying to unpack where queer people fit in modern Thai cinema. That's a really important thing to figure out, and queer people should be part of that conversation. And like even if I didn't think this was the best execution of his ideas, I don't want that conversation to get missed because his show didn't land consistently for everyone.

Nini

I'm tired y'all. I'm so tired.

Ben

[laughs] I’m so energized. Keep it coming.

Nini

My brain hurts! And this is the shit that I normally love, but my brain, it hurts, and my brain, she needs a break! And so, a break she shall have. [laughs]

We'll be back at you next time with the Lagniappe, but that's it for us now! We are just going to wrap it up on Adult Swim.

Our first Adult Swim episode: may there be others. We out! Say bye to the people, Ben.

Ben

Peace.

55 notes · View notes

imtryingmybeskar · 2 years ago

Text

Come Home Chapter Thirteen

Joel Miller x F! Reader.

Word count - 4359

Well, it's finally springtime and you and Joel take that trip out to the museum. If you're still reading then you know what Joel's plans for Ellie's sixteenth birthday are by now. I adore the museum scene, its so wholesome.

Also given that Ellie calls Joel a dinosaur in that scene, I had to make some double entendre about riding them. Entirely necessary.

Come Home

Chapter Thirteen - Feel

SPRING

Gentle, tinkling, tiny, joyful sounds. Warmth that is undeniably sunlight across your arm. Freshness and dew cut with an undercurrent of Joel as you inhale deeply and come back to yourself. Your eyes flutter open and are met with cool, blue surroundings, dappled above with patches of sunshine and shadow.

You sit up abruptly, your sleeping bag rustling as it falls away from your body, and you suddenly realise what this all means.

“Goddamnit Joel,” you huff as you scrub the sleep from your eyes, extricate yourself from your bedding and crawl toward the tent opening.

He’s sitting on a log stump outside and tuning his guitar, long fingers plucking softly at the strings and the sounds mixing with the sweeping birdsong that's heralding the morning. A pot sizzles over a flame and two cups wait to be filled next to a thermos.

“Mornin’” he greets you, briefly looking up from his task with a knowing smile.

“Joel-“ you begin in a warning tone.

“Yeah, I know, I know. But I figured you needed the rest after yesterday.”

You busy yourself with the cups, pouring each of you a small measure of coffee that had been hot twenty four hours ago and was now merely lukewarm.

“We’re gonna have to boil some water if we want more of this,” you remark offhandedly. “And I’m fine after yesterday.”

He raises a disbelieving eyebrow and you try not to wince at the ache between your thighs.

“Sure didn’t seem like it the amount of noise you were makin’ last night.”

“Alright…mister…cowboy,” you say, struggling to come up with a suitable insult and failing miserably. “We’re not all from Texas you know.”

“You sayin’ I’m a cowboy jus’ ‘cause ahm from Texas?” he asks in mock affront, overly exaggerating his soft accent as he does.

“I’m saying that I think you’re more used to riding horses long distances than I am,” you reply. “And you gotta stop letting me sleep in. The sun’s way up. We’ll never get there at this rate.”

“Alright, I promise. Crack of dawn tomorrow,” he smiles.

“Well…maybe not the crack of dawn,” you mutter before you take a sip of watered down coffee.

“Crack of noon, then.”

“Joel!”

He laughs at your frustration with him. “Fine, we’ll keep better hours. Well…that is to say I’ll make you keep better hours.”

“Never thought I’d miss the alarm on my phone. I’m sorry I’m so shit at waking up. I don’t know how you manage to sneak out every morning without me noticing.”

“Oh, you are dead to the world,” he replies, then winces and mutters, “Oof that’s a poor choice of words.”

“Just a bit!”

“I’ll kick you awake tomorrow, how’s that for an alarm?”

“As long as you stay away from my saddle sores we’ll be fine, Miller.”

He chuckles and places his guitar gently against the tree stump before going to fiddle with the pot on the stove. What you knew, what you were absolutely not prepared to talk about was that you were sleeping so well because of him. To reduce the amount you had to carry on this trip out, it had been agreed that you would bring one large tent instead of two individual ones. By Maria’s calendar it was mid-March. The days were longer and the sun was actually starting to feel warm now, but the nights and evenings were still chilly, and you were always grateful for the extra warmth he had provided within the tent when you would change over the watch in the middle of the night. Not to mention the comfort of having him so close, knowing he was just outside and keeping you safe while you slept.

When you had announced that you would be going out for several days alone, Ellie hadn’t been able to resist.

“Oh yeeeaaaah?” she had said, an exaggerated leer on her face.

Joel had sighed in a deeply put upon way. “Chrissake Ellie, you know the routes ain’t been maintained as well as they should have been over winter. There’s gotta be infected that have thawed out, movin’ around again. You want them at the door?”

“Yeah but… why for so long? And why just you two? Group patrols are a thing you know. I’m just sayin’ you have been going out together a lot.” She over-enunciated the last word, snapped the ‘t’ sound harshly.

“Yeah, well, we work well together. And Tommy’s busy with the dam and-tsk! What am I doin’ explainin’ myself to you? You just do what Maria says when I’m away and concentrate on that farmin’ rotation you’ve been given.”

She had folded her arms and looked disgusted. “Urgh, don’t remind me. I think I’d even rather be with you loved-up fogeys than do that shit.”

You had barely been able to stifle your laughter at the look of outrage on Joel’s face. “Ellie-!”

“Oh calm your beard. I know, I know. ‘Nothin’ goin’ on.’”

At that moment you had caught her amused look and a thought had struck you. Was this more than a teenager teasing her father to the point of exasperation? Did Ellie want there to be something between you? She had quickly looked back at Joel who was in the middle of telling her what a pain she was, but you were almost sure of it. For some reason, Ellie wanted this to happen.

It was a notion that had played on your mind a lot as you had journeyed through the freshly budding forest toward the museum. It would explain why she had been making more and more frequent plans for the three of you. For dinner, or to play cards or games, or to occasionally watch movies – the usual things - but then she would leave abruptly, citing tiredness or a forgotten meeting with friends leaving you and Joel alone to spend the evenings together. Though perhaps you were overthinking it and she really did just want to go to sleep, or hang around with people her own age. It would also explain her odd behaviour the evening you had overheard her argument with Joel, at least partially.

Your feelings about him were pretty straightforward. Over the past few months, thanks in part to you being neighbours, to Ellie’s apparent scheming, and the fact you didn’t have much interest in being close with a ton of people, you had spent a fair bit of time with him and had grown to enjoy his company more and more. His humour, which fluctuated between gentle wit and outright acerbity, the cleverness of his mind and of his fingers which could work wood in a way that enthralled you, his kindness toward you and toward Ellie, and of course his physical self, so solid and broad and commanding. Yeah, you were pretty sure your feelings had developed way past the crush stage.

Your thoughts around what you were feeling were a completely different story. Though you had settled into your house, though your panic attacks had abated to the point of being an occasional issue to deal with rather than a thing to dread day to day, you found yourself unable to cross that threshold and begin to embrace the things that you had left behind on the filthy vinyl flooring of a hospital in Portland. That he had managed to get under your skin in just a few short months was alarming, and you still couldn’t pick apart what came from him and what came from the cradling of the security that Jackson itself offered. That you laughed more often, spoke more freely – were these the effects of the tentative sparks in your heart, or just a relaxation of the grip that constant survival had upon your mind and body?

If your behaviours had changed toward him beyond the intricacies of a simple blossoming friendship, he hadn’t seemed to notice, and you hoped you weren’t as transparent about your feelings as you thought you were, though you suspected that some of the people closest to you had an inkling.

On your last patrol, a standard creek run, Vanessa had accompanied you and had brought up the subject as you had ridden through the now fully thawed, though still freezing cold waters.

“So…you and Joel, huh?”

“Oh fuck, not you as well!” you had groaned loudly.

“He’s a handsome man. If I were ten years younger…” she had pursed her lips into a kissy face and raised her eyebrows suggestively.

“Why is everyone so obsessed with something that’s not actually happening?” you had wondered to the forest in general.

“Because we live in a small town and there’s not much juicy gossip around?” Vanessa had laughed. “Most folks are paired off already, so when the possibility of two, single, attractive people getting together arises, there’s gonna be some talk.” You opened your mouth to reply but she cut you off immediately. “And don’t come all that shy shit about not being pretty. You are. So’s he. Deal with it.”

You sighed. “Just don’t let him hear any of it. Between you and Ellie he’s gonna have an aneurysm.”

“So you two really never-“

“No!” you exclaimed, more forcefully than you had intended. Vanessa looked a little taken aback and you sighed and spoke more normally. “Not that I’d kick him out of bed-“ her grin stretched widely across her face “-but it’s complicated! He lives right next door. He’s got Ellie to think of. I have a whole fuckload of shitty baggage. And if anything did happen and it went bad what happens then? Do I just…leave? Take my chances outside? Fuck that, I’ve gotten too used to hot water! If it’s a choice between Joel and sleeping in a proper bed, I’m choosing the bed.”

You rode along in silence for a minute or so. Then-

“He’s got a bed too y’know.”

“Jesus, Ness! Let it go,” you had said laughingly.

“Okay, okay fine. Let’s go kill some shit.”

After that, you had begun to notice some of the looks that came your way when you and Joel were together – either at the bar, or when you would be in the stables preparing to ride out together, or even just walking around town. Some of the looks were appraising, some interested, some even a little unfriendly. Joel didn’t seem to notice at all, and you had no idea if that came from a place of obliviousness or intentionality.

The journey to the museum had been pretty uneventful thus far, barring a few lone and wandering infected and the fact that you had to physically clear quite a few paths through the trees with your machete, so you had been able to enjoy how beautiful the forest was in spring – warm dappled sun slanting through the trees, birdsong, trickling streams, the soft wafting of gentle breezes bringing the scent of blossom with them. But riding for so long every day through uneven terrain was definitely taking a toll, and even though you had tried to hide your discomfort from Joel he had worked it out pretty quickly and slowed the pace from the ten hour rides you had been doing. It did help the chafing of your inner thighs. It also meant more time with him, and that wasn’t ever a bad thing.

Your favourite parts of the journey had been the evenings you had spent together – three so far. While Joel prepared the food, you would set up the tent and bedding, and after eating you would sit and talk under the canopy of stars. It was simple, and very much like the routine you had found yourself falling into with him in Jackson, but being outside lent an additional sense of romance to it all. It was silly, you knew that. After all, you and he had both spent many nights sleeping outside out of necessity over the years. And all it took was for one infected to stumble into your camp for the rose tinted vision you had to come crashing down with force. But you allowed yourself to indulge while you could. To listen to his gravelly, whispery tones as he sang softly and strummed his guitar. To watch for shooting stars and pick out the constellations you knew among the mass of twinkling above. To look at him in the moonlight as he cleaned and re-packed the cooking and eating utensils, his movements sparse and graceful.

“Okay, hold up.”

Joel is slowing to a halt ahead and you pull up alongside him to see why. There is a somewhat clear path ahead, a break in the trees where you can see rusted hulks of metal under the snaking green that is slowly reclaiming all in its path. A bus shelter, covered in moss and trailing vines stands to one side, patiently awaiting passengers that will never arrive.

“We getting close?”

He pulls a map from a pocket inside his coat and studies it for a moment before he nods. “Probably another hour’s ride or so. If nothin’ gets in the way.”

“Just don’t say it’ll be smooth sailing or some shit. Else we’re bound to get swarmed.”

He grins at you before setting off again, leading you down the middle of the cracked tarmacked street. Cars are still few and far between here, some with skeletal occupants inside, most abandoned. The grass is beginning to sprout high now there is no layer of snow flattening it, and you hear the skitter of small animals as they run to the safety of the trees while you make your way through their home. Their presence is reassuring. Though animals can’t get infected in the same way that humans can, they still don’t enjoy the company of the fungus anymore than you do. You’re surprised by the lack of infected around, and you voice this to Joel.

“Could be any number of reasons,” he shrugs, keeping his voice low regardless of the apparent safety around you. “This area wasn’t too populated in the best of times. Maybe winter meant they couldn’t move around as much as they usually do. Hell, maybe they migrated south when it got cold. Who knows with those things…oh no.” This last is groaned and you too feel a weariness when you see what he does.

“Welp.” Joel sighs as he surveys the gaping sinkhole that has broken the line of the road you are following. “Guess we’re back to fightin’ our way through.”

You divert from the remnants of the road and begin to struggle your way through the undergrowth, Joel picking the paths of least resistance. The sound of running water grows steadily clearer until you can see the gleam of it through the thinning trees to your right. You follow the fat, slow moving stream as it meanders its way through the landscape, the bank that you are on growing ever higher as you do. Finally, the path narrows to a point that it would be dangerous for the horses to traverse it even in single file, and Joel jumps down from his mount.

“The museum should be right around here. We’re gonna have to leave the horses for a bit.”

“You sure they’ll be okay?”

“Lots of grass, no infected around. They’ll be fine. Probably happy to have a break.”

Joel takes point again, pulling back branches as he goes to make your egress easier while you hug the rocky bank of the stream as it curves below you. A few springtime flowers have begun to push through – tiny purple blue periwinkles, small yellow primroses, startlingly white azaleas that stretch in patches across the earth and mix with the greenery that is also emerging. The small trail of dirt you have been able to follow thus far very rapidly runs out as boulders of increasing size begin to be strewn across your way and loom large to the left. You cast about for another track, but it seems clear what you have to do.

“Looks like we’re swimmin’” Joel sighs, echoing your thoughts.

“I was gonna ask if this water looks clean enough to wash in. Guess I’m about to find out.”

You take the time to button your shirt up over your plain white t-shirt underneath. No need to put on a show, after all. Then you walk down the muddy bank and step tentatively into the water, grimacing as the cold almost immediately rushes into your boots and soaks your socks. Even here in the water there are challenges to overcome. A fallen tree blocks your progression and you take a deep breath before diving underneath it, avoiding the clutches of the branches that spike from it in random directions and the exposed roots that burst from the river bank itself. A hollow in a rock ahead forms a small, submerged tunnel that there is no other way around, and you force yourself to follow Joel and pass through it quickly before you can begin to panic about getting trapped underneath.

After a good five minutes of swimming you reach a place where the stream opens out into a pool, and you both take a moment to survey your surroundings, the high sides of the banks on each side looking like an insurmountable obstacle to your journey onward.

“Which direction?” you ask as you tread water. Joel indicates with a wave of his hand and you point out a place that looks as good as any for landing. He heaves himself up on to the slimy, moss encrusted rock lip and then reaches down to you to give you a helping hand up.

“Thanks,” you say breathlessly as you stand, shaking your hands out to try and rid yourself of some of the moisture that now permeates all of your clothes. You try very hard not to look at the way Joel’s wet shirt is now stuck to his skin, the way it hugs the curve of his shoulders and biceps.

“Should just be through there,” he says, pointing in a direction that looks a lot like every other. You begin to move through the trees again, now both dripping a trail of water behind you.

“So what made you think of this as a present?” you ask.

“Honestly, I wasn’t sure what I could get her. I wanted to do somethin’ for her instead y’know? And she told me she wanted to be an astronaut once, so I thought…well I thought about what I woulda done with Sarah. She loved museums, was always draggin’ me to them. And so I looked at the map and wouldn’t ya know…Science museum.”

“That’s sweet.”

“Just practical really,” he says, shortly but not unkindly.

On a few of the evenings you had spent with Joel after being abandoned by Ellie he had mentioned Sarah in passing. What she liked. Things she and Ellie would have bonded over. And once, when a few glasses of wine had been taken, a regret that he had spent so many hours working late when he could have been with her. You hadn’t asked what had happened. Hadn’t needed to. That she wasn’t here and Ellie was told the story very clearly.

“Well, I think this is it,” Joel says, breaking into your thoughts with faint amusement in his voice. You follow the direction of where he’s looking and chuckle.

A life-size Tyrannosaurus Rex stands mightily in the middle of a clearing, ivy twining all the way up its tail to wrap around one of its puny arms. The sun keeps disappearing and reappearing behind some distinctly grey-ish looking clouds and the dappled sunlight adds to its colouring, painting it with stripes of shadow that look like camouflage. It is magnificent, completely intact and standing as king of a small island surrounded by an unplanned lake that you presume is fed by the same stream by which you came, and that laps against the rotting wooden benches that stand here and there. With the trees surrounding it, it looks as if it belongs here in a way that you do not, as if you had been transported back to a time when humanity didn’t exist at all rather than at near-extinction.

The heavy double doors that are the gateway to the museum open easily enough, their shattered glass crunching under your feet as you enter the main atrium. Grass and vines and branches from the trees outside have encroached here, a carpet and wallpaper of nature that breathes life into the dead space and unintentionally adds a more natural backdrop to the dinosaur skeletons that greet you upon arrival.

“Guns out?” you ask Joel, quietly. Though the air is still and all is silent, and it looks as if this place has lain undisturbed since the outbreak, you could never be totally sure.

“Sounds like a plan,” he agrees, drawing his own.

You move through the darkened corridor into another room, this one lit brightly by the sunlight streaming through a lichen-streaked glass ceiling above. There are several complete dinosaur skeletons here, and as you contemplate the bones it suddenly strikes you how odd it is that these dead things are the same as they were twenty, fifty, a million years ago, yet humanity had gone through a similar extinction event but would leave no legacy except crumbling buildings that would very soon be dust. The bones of the dinosaurs had outlived the humans that had found them so fascinating, and there would be no one to remember the remains of the dominant species before the fungus, no one to witness their passing or mourn their achievements. It was an uncomfortable, maudlin feeling. You reach out and stroke the beak of the mighty Triceratops standing before you.

“Your favourite?”

“Yeah, it was. Is. I don’t think anyone really grows out of having a favourite dinosaur do they?”

“Don’t they?”

You turn to Joel with a disbelieving expression no words required.

“Okay, fine,” he relents laughingly. “I’d have to say my favourite would be…the velociraptor. Those guys were smart. In Jurassic Park at least.”

“Smart enough to be here when we aren’t,” you murmur, your eyes back on the horns and frill of the one in front of you.

“Hey, we’re here aren’t we?” You can hear the continued smile in his voice and it brings one to your own face, stirring a sense of energised recklessness within you. Fuck it. You are here, when so many others aren't. And you aren't going to waste this opportunity.

"You're right. And I'm gonna do something I always wanted to."

You climb the barrier into the place where the Triceratops stands and gingerly press against the bones that are held together with wires, then shake them a little more insistently. They seem sturdy enough.

“Give me a boost, will you?”

“You goin’ up there?” he asks incredulously.

“Joel, I’m going to tell you a secret about women that will blow your mind and is, essentially, the secret to understanding us. All of them, every single woman that ever walked this earth wanted to ride a dinosaur into battle like some prehistoric Valkyrie.”

“That sounds extremely specific,” he grins. “You sure it’s not just you?”

“Nope. All women. True fact.”

“What about the women that didn’t know what dinosaurs were? Like, before they were discovered.” he asks as he joins you next to the Triceratops.

“Nuh-uh,” you say, holding up an admonishing finger at him. “Your logic isn’t welcome here, Miller. All of them. Trust me. And thank me when you use that information to get a date.”

He opens his mouth, no doubt to impart some sassy retort, but instead merely gives you an extremely unimpressed look before sighing heavily and bending down so you can boost yourself up. The skeleton sways a little as you drag yourself into position, but it holds and you shift your backside over the uncomfortable ridges of the bones underneath you before raising your arms triumphantly as you sit behind the big, bony plate on its head.

“Haaaa! I am the dinosaur queen!” you exclaim, forgetting for a moment where you are and the fact that you have not explored this place thoroughly. You slap a hand over your mouth and look down at Joel with wide eyes, listening intently. Silence. No nightmare noises, no rush of infected or living to investigate the source of the sound. Just the cool, still, peaceful air around you.

“Fuck yeah!” you add, lifting your arms to the sky again once you’re sure nothing is coming to get you.

“Christ, woman, you’re worse than the kid,” Joel laughs.

“Oh what I wouldn’t give for a camera right now,” you sigh. “And one of those Viking helmets. And a cape. And a sword.”

“I can see it,” he admits. “Women like riding dinosaurs. Who’da thought it.”

As you slide off the Triceratops he catches you to break your fall, holding you at your waist and gently placing you back on the ground. You try your best to ignore that your shirt rides up a little and his palms brush your bare skin, the hugeness of his hands around you, the latent strength he displays and the soft amusement in his eyes at your antics.

“Come on,” you say. “Let’s see what else they’ve got.”

You continue to walk around the exhibits, ostensibly looking for fungus or evidence of spores or infected, but there’s nothing. A creeping of excitement makes its way into your stomach, the gleeful feeling you used to get when going to museums and galleries before. Only this is so much better. No crowds to obscure your lines of sight, no noise interrupting when you read the information plaques, being able to get right up close and see the majesty of just how big they really were.

A spiral staircase to the floor above leads into another dark passageway, this one decorated with white dots in a simulation of stars and when you emerge into the room beyond-

“Oh yeah,” Joel says with a satisfied look. “She’s gonna love this.”

Next chapter

Taglist - @thisshipwillsail316 @prostitute-robot-from-the-future @elegantduckturtle @dihra-vesa @midwesternwitchery @just-here-for-the-moment @eri16 @readsalot73 @littlemisspascal @princessxkenobi @harriedandharassed @pagannightwitch @tentacruels @kirsteng42 @shirks-all-responsibilities @deadhumourist @pedrostories @abbyhaslongshorts @celebrtyskinz @majahu @sanscas @myloveistoolittle @ohthemisssery

#joel miller x you #joel miller x reader #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x female reader #joel tlou x you #joel tlou x reader #joel tlou x f!reader #joel tlou x female reader #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fanfic #joel tlou fanfiction #joel tlou fanfic #tlou fanfic #tlou fanfiction #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us fanfic

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zainnbug · 1 year ago

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so ….i’ve been rewatching “The Spectacular Spider-Man” and i just wanted to give my lukewarm takes on it (just my own personal opinions!) prepare for horrible analysis and alot of words!!!!!

1. THE VILLAINS LOWKEY SUCK

i say this with an open mind because Spectacular Spider-Man is a kids show… but the villains are not good. I feel like there is very little build up on these characters origin stories and why the way they act like they do. For example electro, an ordinary repair guy who is involved in a work accident while working on machinery next to genetically altered eels. for me i just couldn’t understand where all his hatred was coming from except for the fact that he is never able to go back to his life. Like this guy is traumatized and now has to adjust to a new life that harms everyone and then boom he’s evil and hates Spider-Man (Too much Spider-Man hate and not enough I-hate-the-world kind of hate! ). There just wasn’t more of a build up to it, like i wished he tried to be like a hero just like Spider-Man then completely fucks everything up while trying to do good. I know certain life altering changes completely changes someone but i still wish he tried to cling onto his human characteristics (like his morals he once had from who he used to be). It would’ve been cool if he tried to be himself again more mentally and then threw that out the window cuz it was never gonna work out)That’s also one thing i see recurring with the villains is that they just hate Spider-Man…. But I still try to keep an open mind as it is a really short show and apparently electricity is the main source for all evilness in this show (literally).

2. He’s a hoe

heavy on this one cause pete cannot choose from liz, gwen, mj, black cat or that bugle secretary. He went from that shordy who worked at the bugle to mj to liz allan to black cat then to liz again then gwen then LIZ AGAIN then gwen again? it was like every 5 seconds he was switching sides …like oh man! liz is into me.. oh and gwen too!! and then he just wouldn’t make up his mind. This guy is a man whore I STILL REMEBER THE SCENE WHERE HE FINALLY DECIDED TO TALK TO GWEN AFTER THEIR KISS AND SHE BLEW HIM OFF SO HE STARTED THINKING ABT MJ WHILE SHE(MJ) WAS TALKING TO HIM. even she told him to get it together 😔 do better peterman

3. Mjs incredible personality✨

this one’s not too much of a big deal and i can tolerate it but it still irks me. Throughout the entire time of Mjs screen time is her personality which kind of ruins her character in this show. From the way she talks to how she flirts with everyone in the show bothers me. She flirts with nearly every guy in the show and she’s just… too flirty LIKE IT DOESNT FIT HER CHARACTER. It’s not the Mj i know but i still do luv. It’s just not in her character to act this flirtatious. It’s like she has no real personality other than being hot.

BONUS:

-the villains in this show were still enjoyable like otto octavius and venom, which are my personal favs. Also seeing marko stick up for a child being bullied and saving innocent people really did it for me. I also thought he was just some mindless spider-man hater but there’s a little more to it.

- despite peter being a hoe….erm i actually cannot find something good to say abt his hoe side srry y’all….

-despite Mjs flirty side, Mj is like the number one supporter for most of the characters in this show. She’s the one constantly checking on gwen and peter while also giving them relationship advice or just advice in general. Also she’s the first person to notice something is wrong. I like to call her a girls girl cuz she really looks out for the girls in the show.

thanks for reading my horrible takes i will be posting more like follow and subscribe if y’all actually read me yapping away and stay tuned y’all 🙏

#spider man #the spectacular spider man #peter parker #otto octavius #mj watson #across the spiderverse #i talk too much #gwen stacy #liz allan #atsv

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rogueportraits · 10 months ago

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The idea of running away to join the carnival is something quaintly historical with a dash of romanticism. Midway Touring Entertainment gets a few kids every stop that slip away from their parents and beg some ride attendant or performer to join up and tour the country. They’ve got childhood ideas about riding the attractions after dark or petting tamed lions – this particular carnival’s an animal-free establishment, excepting personal pets – and cry buckets when refused.

Ed’s of the personal belief that they should just take the kids along for a day or two, show them the real behind-the-scenes, and scare little middle-class Jimmy or Susie right back into a fine life of some white-collar office job two decades down the line. Unfortunately, that’s generally considered kidnapping, and MTE would highly prefer the law stay as far away as possible. He picks at a particularly stalwart hangnail and kicks his foot up on the dashboard. They’re about three hours out of Minot, having gotten the state fair contract another year in a row, and the only thing he likes about North Dakota is that the summer’s cool enough that he won’t be swimming in sweat. To the left of him, Jack starts grumbling and lifts his hand off the wheel.

“Can’t see with your shoes in the way, kid,” Jack makes a shooing motion. “You want an airbag through your knee?”

Ed’s eighteen years old, thank you very much, and his ID says he’s the ripe old age of twenty-one, so in either respect he’s not a kid. Unfortunate facial acne notwithstanding. He bites at his hangnail, rolls the window down, and spits it out into empty interstate air as he swings his leg back down. There’s the rustling of discarded fast-food wrappers against his shoes. “You threatening me?”

“Not anymore.”

Jack fiddles with the busted radio, tuning it to some local FM station playing this summer’s insipid pop hit. The highway stretches out in front of them, heat miraging strange shapes on the horizon. Ed can see the fractured reflections of their convoy in the right rear-view mirror, other cars and trailers and hauling trucks snaking away into the clear sky. He’ll be expected to help with set-up tonight, obviously, and tomorrow too. Probably some painting as well, considering the state of a few attractions. Then a week of his own particular schtick on the midway, a few days of teardowns, and back on the road to do it all over again. He digs in the car door for a lukewarm pop and twists off the cap, proffering it as driver’s tribute.

“You’re alright, kid,” Jack says, like they haven’t been working together since Ed was sixteen and gangly. He sips at it and blanches. “This isn’t.”

“I’ll go stick my neck into the gas station fridge next time,” Ed replies with a shrug. “Nothing but the best for my dear old driver.”

Jack tips the bottle up in a pastiche of enjoyment, snorting, and returns his eyes to the road.

The moon’s centered in the sky by the time Ed’s gotten through his set-up checklist. He’d scrambled up and over various half-assembled rides, checking bolts and greasing mechanisms – can’t have a lawsuit on their hands – and put off some of the detail work for when there’s sunlight. Playing passenger has its drawbacks, but the less cops that get a look at “Edward Neilsen’s” ID card the better. Not that he’s a bad driver, of course.

Ed belongs to the other class of wannabe carnival runaways. He opens the trailer door without the hinges squeaking. It’s not his trailer, because his paydays would have to have at least one more zero on their totals for anything like that, but Jack and his wife have a secondhand couch that suits him just fine. He sprawls across it in a show of exhausted decadence. Pale moonlight lances through a smoke-clouded window, cutting across his torso.

He’s not enough of an idiot to call this a charmed life, like some of the last generation of carnies. It’s work, and it’s a type of work that means he doesn’t stick in one place long enough to make an impression – all the better, logically. There’s more than a few people who’d like to find him for various reasons. Carnie work pays, it doesn’t ask questions about his age or point of origin, and the rest of this traveling group of vagabonds generally doesn’t try to deck him for a smart comment or three. That’s good enough for him. Ed rolls off the couch and pads over to the minifridge, acquiring a can of Pabst. Drinking after work and underage are two time-honored American traditions, after all. He pops the top of the can with a gas-leak hiss and heads back outside.

The night air is cold against his clammy skin. He sips at his beer and stares out towards the flickering lights of town.

Ed can do carnival patter in his sleep. He leans on his prop cane, discreetly stretching out his numb leg, and surveys the midway tourists.

“Step right up! Tired of testing your skill – test mine! Age, weight, height, profession, I’ll get 'em all… and if I don’t, you score!”

The main difficulty with being a carnival guesser is attracting marks. Ed’s stationed himself at the far end of the midway, after all the various citizenry of North Dakota have exhausted their efforts at games-of-skill. He offers them a chance to watch someone else fail. In theory, at least – he’s very good at this gig. He makes eye contact with a tired father-of-two and grins, stepping to the front of his booth.

“How about you? Care to see if you can stump me?”

And there’s the flicker of light in the other man’s eyes. Easy.

“Sure. Do you, ah, do all of them?”

Sensitive about his weight, then. Maybe the guy could afford to cut back on the funnel cake in that case, but heavens (and his paycheck) forbid Ed offer that advice. “Not at all. Your pick, and if I could take a ticket…?”

The man bites at the edge of his lip, tearing off a ticket from what probably used to be a much larger roll. “Age and job, then?”

“Of course.” Ed makes a grand show of scrutinizing, leaning forward and worrying his hands on the question-mark crook of his cane. Two kids, one about eight and the other being carried, no wife and – hah! – no wedding ring. Shirt with an atrocious tropical print, but a pager in his back pocket. Easy. “About thirty-three and in office work, right? Management?”

The man gapes, then rallies. “Thirty-five. But, uh, yeah.”

Really, Ed would have guessed thirty-six, but he’s had to duck one too many swings from daydrunk locals mad about his accuracy. He shoots the man a hundred-watt smile.

“I can’t believe it! I can’t take a peek at your ID, can I?”

Flush on winning, the man obliges by handing over his wallet. Jason Phillips, resident of Velva, ND. Thirty-five. Ed considers some legerdemain and decides against it – Jason’s clearly not been availing himself of the concession-center beer.

“Well, my loss is your gain,” reach back, grab some cheap prize in the form of a plush owl-thing, present it with a theatrical bow, he’s done it a thousand times this season, “and thank you for playing!”

The man meanders off. Ed debates the merits of putting his head in the gears of the carnival’s tilt-a-whirl. Minot is as boring as every other state fair. He gets the next player’s – some giggling college co-ed that looks at him like used gum – weight right. Hard not to with a leeway of five pounds on either side, and a scale that runs two pounds lighter. She’d probably laugh less if she knew her wallet were about ten bucks lighter as well.

He doesn’t consider his side hustle stealing, necessarily. If someone’s dumb enough to hand over their wallet to a carnie and look away, they don’t deserve spare cash.

Anyways, if it were up to him, he wouldn’t be stuck at the ass-end of the midway playing guessing games. He’d have a bigger booth with a better locale, and he’d do riddles. Maybe some lighting, too – he’s always been partial to green. He swigs from his water bottle and watches the ebb and flow of the crowd. He’d do riddles. There’s an art to them that there isn’t to his current gig. A good riddle has one clear answer, but with enough creativity one or two more can crop up. A good riddle has nice, defined boundaries, but doesn’t care about what you do inside of them. It’d take more tickets, too, because if there’s one thing the past two years and change have taught him it’s that people are brainless idiots who can’t see the truth even if it’s spelled out in flashing lights. Which suits him just fine.

Ed coughs slightly, testing to see if his voice holds, and steps forward to start up his patter once again.

#» writing #» riddler › headcanons

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marcusmixes · 6 months ago

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For all intents and purposes, despite how early he was into his career, Marcus Greene was lucky enough that he could call himself an Independent Producer, not having to rely on some higher power to write off on all of his decisions. That being said, to get a head start in the game he still had to rub elbows with others in the industry, ranging from Artists, Producers, Agents, Lawyers, Composers, all the way up to the very top of the food chain; Label Executives. Across the board Marcus had encountered nice people as well as some more unsavory characters – such is life – and his road to success had been a bumpy one. Though he had an illustrious career under his belt already, and a studio that he could call his own, he still crossed paths with figures that he wished he could avoid.

Working with artists such as Henry Bly and Maggie Chance came easily to Marcus. Though vastly different in character, he found that both were dedicated to their craft in varying ways. Moreover, both were respectful of Marcus and his space. Henry, soft-spoken and patient, always allowed him whatever room he needed to focus and put his head down. Maggie, though crass in her own way, seemed to understand the importance of quiet time – which is to say, she stayed out of his way, and he stayed out of hers. Today was different, though. With Alex Knight gracing the studio for the afternoon, Marcus had made him scarce long before her arrival in his space. While the woman in question had never done anything to offend Marcus – he found himself quite impressed by her work ethic and, overall, a huge fan of her music – he didn’t share those same positive feelings for her label.

Serenade – who were a subsidiary of Atlantic Records – had full creative control over the work that Knight created, meaning they tended to be territorial about studio time, even when they didn’t own the studio in question. Marcus had worked with Serenade early into his career, an experience that had left him with an ache in his chest that he’d never been able to fully get a handle on, meaning he had no interest sticking around for the day to see what they got up to. He knew that once their session was finished, Alex would loop him in and set a time for the two of them to sit down and get to work, so he decided to leave them to it.

The initial plan had been to head home to the safety of his own apartment, tune out the rest of the world, and work on isolating some of the vocals on Noah’s latest track. Those plans had fallen through almost instantly when he’d been harshly reminded of the construction work taking place across the street from his flat, and so instead he’d set his sights on A Novel Idea instead. The Bookshop-cum-Café wasn’t an ideal setting for the work that he needed to get done, but he knew there were a few quiet booths that he could tuck himself away in, safe from the bustle of customers and the cacophony of whistling coffee machines.

Like clockwork, the Universe worked hard and fast against him as he found that every booth was full, and the only vacant table stood squarely in the middle of the room. With a sigh, Marcus turned up the volume on his music, letting the dulcet tones of Tracy Chapman fill his ears, drowning out the mindless chatter and laughter that carried across the room. Setting his laptop down on the table, he began laying out various sheets of music across the hardwood tables with delicate precision, placing them within reach of his bluetooth keypad. Careful as he was, his eyes roamed the pages in front of him as he took a seat, already noting chord progressions that would surely need adjusting, as well as lyric sheets of Noah’s that he would be mindful to amend – they were good, but they weren’t yet perfect.

Lost in his own world, Marcus hardly accounted for the commotion happening around him until he felt lukewarm liquid spill down the bare expanse of his tattooed arm, the sleeve of his shirt now drenched in what smelled like too-sweet coffee. Jumping to his feet abruptly, Marcus tugged his headphones down, leaving them to hang loose around his neck as the harsh noise of the world around him seemed to come roaring to life. His knee collided with the underside of the table and he hissed, eyes widening as he watched the clumsy stranger tumble forward, the final remnants of their coffee spilling all over the work that Marcus had been so meticulous in setting.

“Are you stupid?” The words spilled from his lips seemingly without the consent of his brain, directed at the wide-eyed, timid stranger as she uttered fast and rapid apologies in a thick New York accent. Marcus merely blinked, words failing him as it dawned on him just how disappointed his Mum would be – she hadn’t raised him to be so ill-mannered, neither of them had.

His heart hammered in his chest as he surveyed the wreckage, the young girl seeming to have been pulled in another direction. Papers spilled out onto the sticky floor, some covered in coffee and syrups, the others simply making a getaway as they attached themselves to the bottom of shoes, wedged themselves under the legs of chairs.

“No... no,” Marcus muttered under his breath, his hands trembling as he lurched forward to see what he could still save. His voice was low and frantic, his fists clenching and unclenching as he tried to regain control of his breathing. “This is bad. This is very bad. Noah is going to kill me.”

#thread: dante1 #ft. dante

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starseedfxofficial · 9 days ago

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Forex Whisperer: Top Trends Traders Are Missing When Markets Whisper: Hidden Forex Trends You Can’t Afford to Miss Markets are alive and buzzing, but not every trader can tune in to the right frequency. Today, we’re stepping behind the curtain to dissect what’s moving the Forex world. With the Federal Reserve’s decision imminent and global currencies dancing to macroeconomic beats, there’s plenty to decode. Let’s dive into the latest moves, seasoned with insights and strategies to keep you ahead of the curve. DXY: The Calm Before the Rate Cut Storm The US Dollar Index (DXY) is playing it cool, hovering within a tight 106.82-107.03 range ahead of today’s Federal Open Market Committee (FOMC) meeting. With a widely anticipated 25bps rate cut on the cards, the question isn’t what’s next for rates but what’s next for guidance. Traders are laser-focused on Fed Chair Powell’s tone—hawkish or dovish? Here’s where the plot thickens: potential inflation risks tied to President-elect Trump’s tariff plans and tax cuts could muddy the waters. Takeaway Tactic: Use this period of uncertainty to your advantage. Range-trading strategies within tight bands can yield quick wins. Watch for breakout cues post-FOMC announcement, and consider hedging positions as inflation debates heat up. EUR/USD: Treading Water at 1.05 For all its charm, the euro feels stuck in limbo. Trading between 1.0479 and 1.0534, EUR/USD seems destined to play the waiting game. ING predicts this pair will likely stay glued to the 1.05 handle for the rest of the year. But wait—why the stagnation? Inflation uncertainties and geopolitical jitters have traders holding their breath. Pro Insight: If you’re bored by range-bound movement, don’t tune out just yet. This “sleepy” price action can be fertile ground for scalping strategies. Tight stop-loss orders and swift exits are the name of the game here. JPY: Drifting as BoJ Keeps the Lid On The yen is softer against the USD, echoing trends seen among its global peers. With the Bank of Japan (BoJ) meeting tomorrow, the market largely expects rates to remain pinned at 0.25%. For USD/JPY traders, the pair’s 153.16-154.34 range offers clues to its next move. Insider Tip: Anticipate a volatility spike as the BoJ decision nears. Pay close attention to BoJ’s language for any shifts in policy tone. Contrarian traders could consider fade strategies if sentiment leans too heavily in one direction. GBP: Cool Inflation Data Takes Cable Under 1.27 GBP/USD couldn’t hold its ground above 1.27, thanks to lukewarm inflation figures that came in largely as expected. Tomorrow’s Bank of England (BoE) announcement has traders pricing in 57bps of easing—a slight shift from pre-release levels of 53bps. Hidden Gem: Keep a close eye on U.K. housing market data for hidden clues. Sterling often takes cues from broader economic health, and housing metrics can act as an early-warning system. Antipodeans: Struggling at Yearly Lows Both the Australian and New Zealand dollars are sitting at the bottom of the G10 leaderboard. What’s dragging them down? Weak base metal prices, cautious sentiment, and Australia’s ballooning budget deficit forecast for 2025/26. Fresh yearly lows are never fun unless you’re shorting. Advanced Strategy: Pair these currencies with commodity correlations to uncover arbitrage opportunities. Look for reversals when base metals show signs of stabilization. China: The Yuan’s Midpoint Mystery The People’s Bank of China (PBoC) set the USD/CNY midpoint at 7.1880, defying expectations of 7.2838. This move signals intent—China’s policymakers are subtly but deliberately steering the yuan amid global economic uncertainties. Expert Edge: For long-term traders, yuan fluctuations can offer insights into broader Asian market trends. Combine this with geopolitical analyses for a more holistic trading strategy. Closing the Loop Markets may seem predictable at first glance, but there’s always more under the surface. From the Fed’s cryptic dot plot revisions to the BoJ’s ultra-loose policies, these nuanced trends offer savvy traders opportunities to carve out an edge. Stay curious, stay informed, and most importantly, stay nimble—the next big trade could be hiding in plain sight. —————– Image Credits: Cover image at the top is AI-generated Read the full article

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dm-blogs · 3 months ago

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Beat the Dubai Heat: Finding the Best AC Repair in Dubai

Dubai's scorching sun is no secret. It's a vibrant city, but when your AC malfunctions, that vibrancy can quickly turn into a sweaty nightmare. A broken air conditioner in Dubai isn't just an inconvenience, it's a full-blown emergency. That's why finding the best AC repair in Dubai is crucial.

This guide will equip you with the knowledge to navigate the world of AC repair in Dubai. We'll cover:

Signs that your AC needs repair

What to expect from a reliable AC repair service in Dubai

Tips for choosing the best AC repair company

By the end, you'll be a pro at finding a trustworthy and efficient AC repair service to get your cool air flowing again.

Signs You Need AC Repair in Dubai

Ignoring a malfunctioning AC can lead to further damage and higher repair costs. Here are some telltale signs that it's time to call for AC repair in Dubai:

Lukewarm Air: If your AC is blowing lukewarm air instead of cool, it's a clear indication of a problem. This could be due to low refrigerant levels, a clogged filter, or a malfunctioning compressor.

Uneven Cooling: Is one room freezing while another feels like a sauna? Uneven airflow is a symptom of malfunctioning dampers or ductwork issues. A qualified AC repair technician can diagnose and fix the problem.

Strange Noises: Your AC shouldn't sound like a distressed orchestra. Unusual noises like clanging, grinding, or excessive buzzing are signs of internal wear and tear that need professional attention.

Leaking Water: Water puddles around your AC unit are a major red flag. This could indicate a clogged condensate drain, a refrigerant leak, or a damaged drain pan.

High Energy Bills: If your energy bills are skyrocketing despite using your AC the same way, it might be working inefficiently. A malfunctioning AC consumes more power, so a tune-up could save you money in the long run.

What to Expect from a Reputable AC Repair Service in Dubai

When searching for AC repair in Dubai, look for companies that offer the following:

Experienced and Certified Technicians: Ensure the company employs certified and experienced technicians who are familiar with various AC brands and models. This guarantees a proper diagnosis and repair.

Transparent Pricing: Get a clear quote upfront before any work begins. Beware of companies offering suspiciously low prices – quality repairs come at a fair cost.

Genuine Spare Parts: Using genuine parts ensures your AC functions optimally and lasts longer. Don't settle for cheap substitutes.

24/7 Availability: Dubai's heat doesn't take breaks. A reliable service provider should offer 24/7 emergency AC repair in Dubai to address urgent issues promptly.

Warranty on Repairs: A reputable company will offer a warranty on their repairs, giving you peace of mind knowing your investment is protected.

Choosing the Best AC Repair Company in Dubai

With a plethora of AC repair options available in Dubai, making the right choice can be overwhelming. Here are some tips to find the best fit for your needs:

Read Online Reviews: Don't underestimate the power of online reviews. Check platforms like Google Reviews, Facebook, and dedicated review websites to see what other customers have experienced with a particular company.

Ask for Recommendations: Word-of-mouth is a valuable source. Talk to friends, family, or neighbors who have recently used an AC repair service in Dubai. Their firsthand experience can be helpful.

Compare Services and Pricing: Get quotes from multiple companies before making a decision. Don't just focus on the cheapest option – value the overall service, qualifications, and reputation.

Ask Questions: Don't be afraid to ask questions about the repair process, warranties, and expected turnaround time. A reliable company will be happy to address your concerns.

Infiway: Your One-Stop Shop for AC Solutions in Dubai

At Infiway, we understand the importance of staying cool in Dubai's scorching climate. We offer a comprehensive range of AC services, including:

AC repair in Dubai: Our skilled technicians are equipped to diagnose and fix any AC issue, from minor electrical problems to major component replacements.

AC maintenance in Dubai: Regular preventative maintenance can prevent costly breakdowns. Our technicians can perform thorough AC cleaning, filter replacement, and performance checks.

AC installation in Dubai: Looking to upgrade your AC system? We offer expert installation services to ensure your new AC operates at peak efficiency.

Conclusion

In the heart of Dubai, where the sun shines relentlessly, a reliable AC repair service is a necessity, not a luxury. By following the tips outlined in this guide, you can confidently navigate the world of AC repair in Dubai and find the best company to address your cooling needs.

Remember to look for experienced technicians, transparent pricing, genuine parts, and 24/7 availability when choosing an AC repair service in Dubai. By doing so, you'll ensure your AC is back in top condition, providing you with the comfort and relief you deserve in Dubai's scorching heat.

#Best AC Repair in Dubai #infiway

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themovieblogonline · 5 months ago

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Zack Snyder’s Next Big Thing: A Small Movie With No VFX?

Move over, CGI—Zack Snyder is ditching the digital effects and diving into a new project that's, wait for it, small and VFX-free! After wowing us with his epic "Rebel Moon" adventures, Snyder is taking a dramatic turn. Here’s the lowdown on what’s next for the director known for his larger-than-life spectacles. A New Direction for Snyder Zack Snyder, the man behind some of the biggest and most visually stunning movies, is swapping his blockbuster gear for something a bit more understated. According to recent revelations, Snyder is working on a “small movie without any visual effects.” Yes, you read that right—no CGI, no green screens, just pure, unadulterated film. It’s like he’s decided to take a vacation from the digital age, and honestly, it sounds like a refreshing change. Snyder himself commented, “I’m trying to do a small movie right now. I’m not going to say what it is, but I was, like, can I just do a movie without any visual effects in it for like five minutes?” Clearly, he’s craving a break from the pixelated chaos of his usual work. Snyder’s move might seem like an odd pivot, but it’s not unheard of for directors to scale down after a series of grandiose projects. Remember when Michael Bay decided to try his hand at something less explosive? No? Neither do I. But that’s beside the point. The Epic and the Ordinary For those who have followed Snyder’s career, this new project is a bit of a plot twist. From his early days with "Dawn of the Dead" to the high-octane "Zack Snyder’s Justice League," Snyder has made a name for himself with grand visuals and sweeping narratives. His recent projects, like the "Rebel Moon" saga, were no exception—big, bold, and brimming with effects that made you question whether you’d accidentally walked into a video game. Snyder’s move towards a smaller, VFX-free film is intriguing. It’s a bit like watching a superhero decide to retire and open a cupcake shop—unexpected, but oddly satisfying. This shift could offer fans a chance to see a different side of Snyder’s filmmaking. If his new project is anything like his 2004 debut "Dawn of the Dead," we might be in for a raw and gritty experience. And who knows? Maybe Snyder’s knack for intense storytelling will shine through even without the flashy effects. Netflix and Rebel Moon’s Future Now, let’s address the elephant in the room—Snyder’s "Rebel Moon" and its future on Netflix. The director had teased a third installment, but let’s be real: the response to the first two films was lukewarm at best. It seems like Netflix might be reconsidering whether they want to greenlight another "Rebel Moon" adventure. Perhaps Snyder’s new project is his way of hitting the reset button and proving that he’s more than just a master of visual effects. With Snyder reportedly working on this new film, Netflix might be keeping a close eye on how it turns out. If this “small movie” turns out to be a hit, it could change the streaming giant’s approach to future projects with Snyder. Or, it might just be a nice breather for him before he jumps back into the epic scale of his usual fare. Either way, it’s clear that Snyder is ready for a change, and we’re all here for it. Zack Snyder’s decision to step away from the grandiose and focus on a smaller, VFX-free movie is certainly a bold move. It’s like watching a lion try out for the local community theater—unexpected but intriguing. Stay tuned for more updates on Snyder’s new project, and let’s hope it’s as captivating as his larger-than-life creations. Got more movie news you’re itching to read? Keep following our blog for the latest updates, and don’t forget to grab some popcorn—Snyder’s next chapter is bound to be a wild ride! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6qr1G4vmtPg (Source: World of Reel) Read the full article

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tocinephile · 8 months ago

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Watched, Watching, Want to Watch

While I'm finding Cineplex offerings a bit underwhelming since Dune 2, there's really no shortage of things to see between the every-growing number of streaming services vying for our monthly subscriptions and some of the most prominent film festivals in the city coming up.

TIFF released its May slate of Cinematheque films earlier this week including the "Of Myth and Magic: The Films of Powell and Pressburger" series and "Lee Chang-dong in Three". As usual tech-savvy members (I'm going to guess many of them 25 and Under) snapped up the screenings, but with the organization's revamped system of charging fees for no-show or late ticket returns by members, it's worth checking in the days leading up to the show for returned seats. A friend grumbled to me that TIFF should release their titles in advance of the tickets becoming available, which is actually a good idea in my opinion. Knowing tickets are going to be snapped up, I feel the pressure to grab anything and everything that I can that fated Wednesday every month, whereas if I could read up on these titles ahead of time, then I would just target the films I'm interested in leaving the rest to those that are most keen to see them.

What's right around the corner is Hot Docs, running April 25th-May 5th. Everyone's got their own opinion when it comes to film festivals, whether the film selection is good, how well it's being run, etc. But unless you're much more influential than I, the bottom line is that as a filmgoer you're offered a list of movies with a location, time, and price. Take it or leave it.

Here's a handful of films I'd like to see at this year's Hot Docs festival:

Pelikan Blue

American Cats: The Good, The Bad, and The Cuddly

Le Mans 55: The Unauthorized Investigation

Intercepted

Black Box Diaries

The full list of films can be found on the Hot Docs website

As for "watched" and "watching"... I'll try not to go on too much about things I've seen where others have limited opportunity to watch, but Veselka: The Rainbow at the Corner of the Centre of the World (what a mouthful!) was the last film (documentary) I saw in a theatre about the beloved Ukranian cafe in the East Village of New York City. It's a heartwarming portrait of owners Tom and Jason Birchard, their eatery in the heart of Little Ukraine, and their staff who've been so cruelly affected by the Russian invasion. I went to see the film because of both my support for the Ukraine and my own familiarity with Veselka, which I've been to and passed by countless times during my stays in New York. It is currently playing at the Hot Docs theatre.

Due to poor time management and high levels of distraction, I'm only slowly making by way through Ripley on Netflix. In contrast to Three Body Problem and The Gentlemen, both of which I binged, I've taken it slow with Ripley. I was initially so distracted that I didn't even make the connection that this was a series based on the same story as The Talented Mr Ripley and Purple Noon, both of which I've seen multiple times. I've always been lukewarm to the story but I admit, the stunning black and white cinematography and Andrew Scott are what keeps me tuned in.

#what i'm watching #hot docs #ripley #veselka movie

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fitnessbeautyarts · 1 year ago

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What is Low Porosity Hair? What is porosity? Porosity—it's not just a word, it's a secret your hair holds, revealing its unique relationship with moisture. Imagine your hair's structure as a fortress, guarded by tiny shields called cuticles. Low porosity hair has cuticles that lock together tightly, making it a bit more discerning about the company it keeps. The different types of porosity Let's explore the porosity spectrum. At one end, we have low porosity hair, with cuticles that are like locked gates. High porosity hair, on the other hand, has open arms, eager to embrace moisture. And right in the middle is medium porosity hair, striking that perfect balance. Signs of low porosity hair How does your hair communicate its porosity? It might take its time getting wet in the shower, as if it's in no rush for company. Products? They're like guests lingering at the doorstep rather than making themselves at home. This can lead to buildup, the unwelcome visitor. And as for shine, it's like playing a game of peekaboo. How to care for low porosity hair Mastering the art of caring for low porosity hair involves a few secrets: Hydration Hacks: Opt for light, water-based moisturizers. They're the key to unlocking your hair's potential for moisture. Clarifying Quest: Introduce clarifying shampoos occasionally to clear out the clutter. Warm Water Wonders: During washing, go for lukewarm water—it's the magic touch your cuticles need. Lightweight Love: Heavy oils? Your hair might not be a fan. Choose lighter products. Deep Dive Delights: Deep conditioning is your hair's spa day. Regular treatments are like hugs for your cuticles. As we lay the foundation, stay tuned for Section 2. It's all about diving into the realm of deep conditioners, tailored to pamper low porosity hair. The Best Deep Conditioners for Low Porosity Hair Key ingredients to look for in a deep conditioner When it comes to treating your low porosity hair, ingredients are the secret sauce. Look for these power players on the label: Hydration Heroes: Glycerin and aloe vera are your moisture magnets, attracting hydration to your hair. Protein Partners: Hydrolyzed proteins like keratin and collagen strengthen your strands, helping them resist damage. Nutrient Nourishers: Shea butter and coconut oil provide essential nutrients, leaving your hair soft and manageable. Popular deep conditioners for low porosity hair Navigating the vast sea of hair products can be overwhelming, but fear not. Here are some tried-and-true deep conditioners that low porosity hair adores: Shea Moisture Raw Shea Butter Deep Treatment Masque: This masque is like a spa day for your hair, infusing it with moisture and strength. Cantu Shea Butter Deep Treatment Masque: Rich in shea butter and essential oils, it's a hydration heaven for your strands. Mielle Organics Babassu Oil Mint Deep Conditioner: With babassu oil and a minty kick, it rejuvenates your hair and scalp. How to use a deep conditioner for low porosity hair Applying a deep conditioner is an art, especially for low porosity hair. Here's your step-by-step guide: Pre-Wash Prep: Dampen your hair slightly before applying the conditioner. This opens the door for better absorption. Divide and Conquer: Section your hair for even application. This ensures every strand gets its fair share. Apply with Care: Work the conditioner from tips to roots, gently massaging it in. Time to Wait: Now comes the patience part. Follow the recommended time on the product label—usually around 15-30 minutes. Rinse Ritual: Rinse thoroughly with cool water. This seals the cuticles, locking in all that goodness. With your hair now primed and pampered, it's time to explore Section 3. We'll delve into the art of deep conditioning low porosity hair for maximum results. How to Deep Condition Low Porosity Hair for Maximum Results Prepping your hair for deep conditioning Before you dive into deep conditioning, set the stage for success: Clean Canvas: Start with freshly washed hair.

A clean slate ensures the deep conditioner can work its magic. Clarify if Needed: If your hair has been a haven for products, consider using a clarifying shampoo to remove buildup. Damp, not Drenched: Slightly damp hair is the sweet spot. Too much water can dilute the effectiveness of the conditioner. Applying the deep conditioner Applying deep conditioner is like an art form. Follow these steps: Divide and Conquer: Section your hair. This ensures thorough coverage. Quantity Control: Start with a small amount and add more if needed. From Tips to Roots: Begin at the ends, where your hair is thirstiest. Work your way up, avoiding the scalp. How long to leave the deep conditioner in Patience is a virtue, especially when it comes to deep conditioning: Read the Label: Most deep conditioners come with recommended timing. Follow it diligently. Heat Helps: Applying heat can amplify the effects. Consider using a shower cap or heated cap. Rinsing out the deep conditioner The moment of truth—rinsing out the deep conditioner: Cool Water Rinse: Use cool water to seal the cuticles, locking in the goodness. Thorough is Key: Ensure no residue remains. Your hair should feel silky, not coated. Sealing in the moisture After the deep conditioning extravaganza, it's time to seal the deal: Leave-In Love: Apply a leave-in conditioner. It's like a protective shield, preserving the moisture. Seal with Oil: A few drops of lightweight oil can work wonders in locking in moisture. With your hair now deep-conditioned to perfection, it's time to unravel Section 4. Here, we'll address some FAQs about deep conditioning for low porosity hair. FAQs About Deep Conditioning for Low Porosity Hair How often should I deep condition my low porosity hair? Deep conditioning frequency depends on your hair's needs. As a general guideline: Regular Routine: Aim for once a week or every two weeks. Listen to Your Hair: If your hair feels dry, increase the frequency. If it's well-moisturized, you can stretch the sessions. Can I use a protein treatment on low porosity hair? Absolutely! Protein treatments can be beneficial for low porosity hair, but moderation is key: Balanced Approach: Use protein treatments occasionally, not every time you deep condition. Look for Balance: Opt for products with balanced protein and moisture properties. What are some other ways to care for low porosity hair? Deep conditioning is just one piece of the puzzle. Here are some additional care tips: Lightweight Products: Use lightweight, water-based products that won't weigh down your hair. Warm Water Rinses: When shampooing, use warm water to help open the cuticles and allow products to penetrate. Avoid Heavy Oils: Heavy oils can sit on the hair's surface, making it greasy. Opt for light oils like argan or jojoba. With these FAQs addressed, let's venture into the final stretch. In Section 5, we'll wrap up our journey by emphasizing the significance of deep conditioning and offering guidance on selecting the best deep conditioner for your unique hair type. Click here for information about Best Human Hair For Sew In Weave Conclusion: Nurturing Your Low Porosity Hair to Perfection As we come to the end of this comprehensive guide on caring for low porosity hair, you've gained valuable insights into the world of hair porosity, the significance of deep conditioning, and the best practices to keep your locks looking their best. Let's take a moment to recap the journey we've embarked upon through the five sections of this guide. Section 1: Understanding Low Porosity Hair In the beginning, we explored the concept of hair porosity and delved into the different types of porosity. You learned to recognize the signs of low porosity hair, which tends to repel moisture due to its compact cuticles. Understanding your hair's porosity is crucial for tailoring an effective care routine. Section 2: Choosing the Perfect Deep Conditioner Moving forward, we unveiled the world of deep conditioners specially formulated for low porosity hair.

You discovered the key ingredients to look for in these products and familiarized yourself with popular options. Armed with this knowledge, you're now equipped to make informed choices for your hair care arsenal. Section 3: Mastering the Art of Deep Conditioning With the right deep conditioner in hand, we dived into the art of deep conditioning low porosity hair. From prepping your hair and applying the conditioner to determining the ideal duration and rinsing techniques, you're now well-versed in the step-by-step process that maximizes results. Section 4: Addressing FAQs About Deep Conditioning Your curiosity led us to address some of the most common questions surrounding deep conditioning for low porosity hair. From frequency and protein treatments to additional care methods, these FAQs have provided you with a holistic understanding of effective hair care practices. Section 5: The Crucial Importance of Deep Conditioning And here we are, at the final stretch. Throughout this guide, you've encountered the recurring theme of the pivotal role deep conditioning plays in maintaining and nurturing low porosity hair. By now, you appreciate its importance, you're armed with knowledge about the best products, and you're familiar with the techniques to optimize results. In conclusion, your low porosity hair deserves specialized attention and care. By embracing deep conditioning and the tailored approach we've discussed, you're on your way to healthy, vibrant, and radiant locks. Remember, hair care is an ongoing journey, and as you apply the insights you've gained, your hair will thank you for the love and dedication you invest in it. Now, as you transition from this guide to your hair care routine, let's keep the momentum going. In the next part of our series, we'll delve into the world of Section 5: Conclusion, where we'll emphasize the importance of deep conditioning, guide you in choosing the ideal deep conditioner for your hair type, and provide you with the knowledge to achieve optimal results. Keep nurturing your beautiful low porosity hair, and it will undoubtedly reward you with its natural radiance and vitality.

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raccoon-eyed-rebel · 2 years ago

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Sherlock;s getting some and I am delighted.

Well stay tuned for more... Things are about to get heated... (or at least arrive at sort of like a lukewarm stage, probably...) When I finally manage to finish chapter 14, that is...

They are a bit peculiar, however we do love ourselves some awkward weird couples. I like that. (i feel like I would. be that)

it's the main reason they're kinda my favorites, along with Dani and Mikey?

Honestly, I'm all for virgin Sherlock, because that is just so fuckign endearing and adorable.

YES (although I am formally taking the word virgin out of my vocabulary for reasons I will explain in an upcoming chapter...) but yeah, the inexperience... Idk, I'm just a sucker for writing good (and realistically awkward) first experiences I guess?

Part 11 - Incalzando

Masterlist

Part 10 -- Part 12

Pairing: Sherlock x ofc

Summary: Another Saturday rehearsal at 179th Crescent Street. Of course it's not just the violin they'll be practising...

Warnings: 18+, MINORS DNI, another good ol' makeout sesh, nudity, and a handjob. (Sherlock, getting some.. Whoo!)

Word count: 3.2k

A/N: "Incalzando" is a musical term that means "pressing/ chasing/ more intense".

@geralts-yenn My child has returned ❤️

@deandoesthingstome @peaches1958 @keanureevesisbae

“That went well,” Elena said, voice thick with relief.

“It really did,” Sherlock chuckled. Apart from the obvious implication that they hadn’t been fumbling like idiots the way they had been last week, it had genuinely been a very good rehearsal.

“Do you think I’m ready?” Elena asked softly.

“Are you nervous?” Sherlock raised her eyebrows at her. He hadn’t expected that. “You’ve performed before, I've seen you do it.”

“Not with an orchestra,” she admitted, “and certainly not next to someone as good as you.”

“You know these pieces every bit as well as I do,” he reassured her, “and you play beautifully.” For a moment, she looked as though she believed him.

Until she opened her mouth again: “Again?” He shook his head as he laughed.

“We’re not doing this again, it’s time to stop.” Her hands felt cold in his own when he wrapped his fingers around them. “Are you cold?”

“A little,” she replied, perhaps a little more coyly than she had initially planned, “so if you know a way to get me warm and relaxed, I wouldn’t complain.”

“Does that movie from last week have a sequel?” He chuckled again.

“Sherlock Holmes,” she slapped him against his shoulder playfully, “if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were flirting with me!”

And that’s how they ended up in the same position they’d found themselves in the week prior. Face to face, in Sherlock’s bed, completely ignoring a movie Elena had picked - rather quickly, she had to admit, it was a particularly terrible one, which Sherlock had been quick to point out. Now, his long fingers trailed lazily along her spine while they lay there and looked into each other’s eyes.

“Do we stare at each other a lot?” Sherlock asked suddenly. It made Elena chuckle; the question was so entirely Sherlock that it made her heart jump with joy. Inquisitive and - seemingly - very random. She had found out early on in their friendship that asking him any question along the lines of ‘whatever made you think of that?’ was a time consuming employ.

“Yes,” she admitted, “we do.” Not that she objected to the practice - in fact she had made it her mission to commit every detail of his handsome face to memory so that she could dream of it more accurately.

“Is that weird?” It was a logical followup question, yet it made her laugh even louder.

“Yes, Sherlock, but so are we,” she said with what no doubt was a very silly grin on her face, “what does it matter? Is there something you’d rather be doing?” Whether that last bit was overstepping, or too flirtatious, she only pondered for a moment, mostly because she simply wasn’t awarded more time to consider it. Sherlock’s soft chuckle, followed by his voice, rich with a provocative tone dragged her away from the thought.

“I think there is…” The touch of his lips to hers didn’t allow her to return to that silly thought. In fact, she found herself abandoned completely by any and all thoughts that didn’t have her immediate feelings regarding this new activity as their core subject. Both of them had longed for this for days. Over a week had gone by since they were last in each other’s arms like this, only able to steal a few quick kisses between classes - and of course there was the slightly more indulgent one they’d shared after Sherlock had walked her home after orchestra rehearsal last Wednesday. Now, they finally held each other close again, slowly invading each other’s senses so completely that it drove both of them wild with desire. Elena was somewhat shocked when Sherlock was the first to advance, sliding his tongue along her bottom lip, requesting entrance - which she gladly granted him. The next surprise came when he pushed her onto her back, moving her so that her body was beneath his. It was certainly advantageous; this position made it far easier for her to remove his sweater and button-down shirt.

“Aren’t you impatient,” Sherlock murmured against her lips. She could tell he was grinning.

“You’re the one manhandling me with your tongue shoved down my throat, Sherlock,” she retorted before sneaking in a quick nip at his bottom lip. He pulled away, and for a moment Elena was afraid she had crossed a line with that statement. Her insecurities vanished, however, when she looked at the expression on his face.

“Correct me if I’m wrong - and I am hardly ever wrong,” there was a hint of an arrogant grin on his face, “but that is not exactly a complaint, now is it?”

For someone who had been so uncharacteristically vocal and certain about needing more time, he sure was a quick study. She should have known, of course, Sherlock Holmes had always been able to pick up most skills fairly quickly. That being said, he still had some catching up to do, and she was fully intent on exploiting the advantage of being more experienced for as long as she could. A soft, sudden, and most deliberate nudge of her thigh - which currently lay captured between his - did the trick just fine; Sherlock groaned at the friction it caused. A less welcome side effect of the maneuver was that Elena’s attention was now drawn to the hardness that pressed against her thigh. In fact, she was so taken with the sensation that her thoughts stayed with it until she felt the soft touch of his lips beneath her jaw as they slowly worked their way down to her sternum, and even further into the cleavage of the v-neck sweater she was wearing. Warm hands found their way beneath the hem of it, and caressed the naked skin of her sides and stomach as Sherlock’s lips returned to hers. Soon, the sweater was bunched up around her chest in such a way that there really wasn’t any point in wearing it, so she took it off. He took a moment to look at her while silently taking inventory of his feelings. The conclusion was simple; he would need more time and experience to conquer the nerves that plagued him when he saw her like this. Gaining the necessary familiarity, he found, was something he quite looked forward to. He was staring at her again, he realized suddenly, and he was smiling in a silly way.

“Why are you smiling?” Elena asked, unable to stop smiling herself as she watched Sherlock’s face and the boyish grin on it. It was an expression she recognized: Her first boyfriend had looked at her the exact same way. Only they had both been fifteen at the time. The memory made her chuckle softly. Sherlock’s inexperience was truly endearing, and truth be told, Elena couldn’t be more flattered and excited that she would get to experience his first times with him. She lifted a hand up to his cheek, the soft caresses of her thumb made him hum softly.

“Because you’re stunning, Elena,” he unconsciously licked his lips as he let his eyes glide over her exposed skin. Her hand found the back of his head and she pulled him into another kiss. She did it in part to obscure from him the blush that formed on her cheeks when he complimented her. His hands were quicker now than they had been last time, exploring all of her upper body extensively, but certainly moving steadily towards her chest with indulgent determination. She writhed and moaned beneath him as his initial gentle strokes and caresses grew more heated until he squeezed the soft flesh of her breasts and his long fingers occasionally drew soft circles around her hardened nipples. His touch, she noticed, was far less restrained than it had been before.

“Do you mind if I…” He didn’t finish the question - not that he had to. The hand that lingered on her back at the clasp of her bra revealed exactly what he was trying to ask. Elena nodded so as to give him permission. She didn’t mind at all - in fact; she’d absolutely love to see him try. The thought of him struggling to undo her bra had her fighting to hold back a chuckle. Of course, there was always the possibility that those nimble fingers would have it off faster than she could count to three…

“Heaven’s sake. A Victorian corset would allow itself to be untied more easily,” he murmured as his hand - and seconds later both hands - fought with the clasp before ultimately giving up with an angry growl. There was no way she could choke back her laughter any longer. The pained expression on Sherlock’s face was entirely unhelpful to the endeavor of keeping her face in check, as well.

“You knew,” he pouted. For a moment, he looked young - or rather he looked his own age. And in that same moment, Elena felt bad - guilty, even, as if she were stealing his innocence.

“I’m sorry,” she said sincerely, meaning it in more ways than just the obvious one.

“That’s not good enough.” When he spoke the words, she unconsciously held her breath, worried he was genuinely upset with her. Sherlock’s next words confirmed he wasn’t: “You’ll have to let me practice more, to make this up to me.” Luckily, Elena could hide her sigh in the moan she let out when his lips touched on the junction between her neck and shoulder.

“Let me help, for now,” she managed to whisper when he moved away again. As punishment for her sins, she had some trouble with the clasp herself, causing her to mutter something along the lines of ‘demon invention’ before it finally snapped open. She did not waste time discarding the garment. Despite the fact that the underwear Elena had been wearing last week had been a fair amount more see-through, meaning he had already gotten an extensive preview of what was to be seen, Sherlock clearly struggled to keep his mouth from falling open. This time, when he lifted his hands to touch her, his fingers trembled, and they did not stop when he touched the now exposed skin of her breasts. She shuddered when his fingers gently grazed the pebbled skin of her nipple, arching her back to lean into his touch, finding herself all of a sudden overtaken by desire. Fingers entwined with his curls and pulled him close, her lips finding and kissing his feverishly. She gasped against his mouth as he wrapped his arms around her and closed the space between their bodies. The shift in positions caused his thigh to rub between her legs, making her painfully aware of the aching need that was building in her core. Carefully, she began grinding her hips against him in search of the friction she so craved. The movements had a similar effect on Sherlock, who had until now done a fairly good job of ignoring the way his cock strained against his trousers - a feeling he could no longer deny as Elena’s thigh rubbed against him repeatedly. A small, almost experimental pinch in her nipple caused Elena to throw her head back, which Sherlock took as an invitation to move his lips to her exposed throat, kissing his way along it until he reached her collarbone. The hand that was still in his hair gently nudged him further down. It was an easy enough hint to take. His mouth slowly inched closer to the center of her breast, making her moan and squirm every time his lips touched the soft skin of her chest. Finally, his lips wrapped around her nipple, and she gasped at the contact while her hips continued their relentless movement in search of release as the heat between her thighs burned persistently.

“Please stop,” Sherlock whispered after a while, “it’s really rather uncomfortable.”

“I’m so sorry, Sherlock!” Elena gasped, unable to prevent a slight chuckle from shining through in her voice. She hadn’t intended to make him feel uncomfortable in any way! A devious idea, however, was born in her mind and as though her hands had their own will, they trailed his chest and abs to finally linger at the waistband of his trousers. Sherlock swallowed hard, but it wasn't enough to make the lump that suddenly appeared in his throat disappear.

“Elena…” He grasped her wrists, but found himself quite unsure of what to say. Part of him wanted to ask her to stop, another part wanted to ask her to take this further. It was the latter that ultimately won out. Still unable to speak, he released her wrist and allowed her to open the button and zipper of his trousers. A soft, loving smile laid on Elena’s lips as she slowly placed a hand on his chest and pushed him back onto the mattress. In that moment, it was so obvious to him that she knew what she was doing, and that she was entirely aware of what she was doing to him, that it made him shy and insecure - even more so than he had been until now. She could tell, because he looked up at her like a deer in headlights; eyes wide, filled with terror and doubt.

“You know you can change your mind, right?” She whispered the words softly, as though she didn’t really want him to hear them, because she knew that if he did change his mind, she would have no choice but to stop. And, God, that was the last thing she wanted.

“I know,” Sherlock replied so softly it was barely audible at all, “please don’t stop.” Something about the expression on his face while he said it was reminiscent of shame…

Elena ran her hand over his cock through his underwear for a moment, choking back a chuckle when, for the first time, she got a good sense of what she was dealing with. No matter how hard she tried, she found herself utterly unable to control her mind. Unconsciously, she bit down on her lower lip, while fighting to keep a giddy smile away from the corners of her mouth. Thinking about all the things she wanted to do to him, imagining what it would feel like to sink down onto his cock, wondering whether or not she would even be able to take him all the way down - all of it sent shivers down her spine and had her positively giddy with excitement. As per usual, this did not escape Sherlock’s keen eye, which had returned to him somewhat now that he was no longer fighting against his human nature like a fool every time he saw her.

“What is it?” Was she dreaming or did Sherlock sound… amused? Perhaps it was even a hint of smugness she was seeing in the expression on his face. She looked at him incredulously when it struck her that he knew exactly what she was thinking. Elena knew all too well that there were a mere two categories of men on this planet: men who knew how large their dicks were because they had measured them, and liars. And a guy like Sherlock would surely be aware of the statistics, too… Her eyes narrowed as she dreaded her loss of control over the situation after coming to two conclusions. One: Sherlock knew he had a big dick. Two: He could tell that she found that exciting.

“I think I liked you better when you were so nervous around me that you could barely speak a word, Holmes,” she laughed as she gently dragged a single finger along his length, and watched his reaction; the twitching of his muscles, the sigh he let out, his furrowed brow and clenched jaw… Elena touched him more firmly next, relishing the moans and gasps that spilled from his lips, as well as the way he began rolling his hips, leaning into her touch.

“Alright, where’s that attitude now?” She was aware that it was a bit mean, and a small rush of guilt hit her when Sherlock looked up at her like a wounded puppy. If she hadn’t been in love with him already, she was pretty sure that look would have done the trick.

“Want me to go on?” Her breath was hot on his ear, which, together with all other sensations, occupied Sherlock’s brain so thoroughly that he managed nothing more than a nod and a pleading whine in response to her question. Everything in his body begged her to go on, save the part of him that was already having a partial anxiety attack over returning her affections, later. He raised his hips to help her when she moved to rid him of his clothing. Sherlock closed his eyes and tried his very best to not think about what might be going on inside her head as she looked at him for what seemed like an eternity. He felt her lips on his mouth only moments before her slender fingers wrapped around his cock. Somehow, he managed to choke back the grunt that threatened to escape him, but when she started moving her hand, he was lost, moaning into her mouth each time her hand came close to the tip. Before too long, and without thinking, he reached for her hand. She was pleasantly surprised by his actions, as she hadn’t immediately expected him to feel confident enough to lend her a hand, so to speak. Unfortunately, his courage was short lived: He quickly pulled his hand back after only a few moments and turned his head. Elena caught a glimpse of his eyes; he looked embarrassed.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, that same discomfort evident in his voice. He groaned when Elena let go of his cock and wrapped her arm around his waist to pull him close, instead.

“Whatever for, Sherlock?” she asked earnestly.

“I shouldn’t have…” “Why not?”

“Elena…”

“Answer me,” she said kindly, “come on.” He could tell from the tone in her voice, despite it being sweet as ever, that she was not inclined to let him off the hook.

“I don’t know, it felt a bit…” he struggled to find the right word, “impertinent.”

“It wasn’t,” she replied, “it was quite helpful, actually.” He replied to your statement with a quizzical look.

“I can’t read your mind, darling,” she explained, “you’ll either have to tell me or show me what feels good and what doesn’t. I’ll do the same for you.” Elena had barely finished her sentence when a shameless scream came from downstairs.

“Something like that?” Sherlock said jokingly. Elena rolled her eyes at him derisively, but ultimately couldn’t contain her laughter.

“Perhaps not quite so loud,” she blurted out, “who was that?”

“Solveig, Geralt’s girlfriend,” he answered, avoiding Elena’s eyes because he was sure he would never finish his sentence if he did, “she’s Swedish, they haven’t seen each other in nearly half a year.”

“My God,” she replied, still laughing, “is she just that loud or is he that good?”

“Alright, am I correct in assuming that by the time you start discussing the… proficiency of your housemates, you can safely say the mood is sufficiently ruined?”

“Absolutely,” Elena said before losing her composure entirely.

-> Part 12

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