#stay cool stay fresh

[beatheprincess]

May wrap-up

May has put me thru a world wind mentally, so glad this month is over..will prob still feel like shit tmrw but it'll clear up, anxiety n possible depression? Lack of motivation was seriously kicking my ass plus the adult responsibilities of not knowing what I want to do n how to do it and my parents getting on me about it; just wanna be free fr- and I'm so nervous traveling alone as a woman to begin with too ૮꒰ྀི ◞ ๑ ◟ ꒱ა ⠀anyways I've on the bright side I have discovered many things about myself and working on mental health issues/getting thru life, I've been and continuing to be closer to my inner child/femininity cus it's the only thing that makes me happy atp.

I hope yall had a great month and a good school year tho ! June pls be kind or else😤👌🏽

[two-corpses-in-the-burial-mounds]

Anyone else think a lot about how at the end of canon, Lan Wangji has had time to mature for 10+ years into a guy in his mid-30s, but Wei Wuxian still has the life experience and general maturity of a war-traumatized early 20-something?

Because like. Wei Wuxian died young and he died tragically, and everyone who was around him then that's still there after he's resurrected has gotten to live their lives. They got to mature. They've had 13/16 years to heal (or not heal -_-) and learn who they are. To become fully realized adults outside of the pressures of war. And Wei Wuxian hasn't had that. If you believe MXTX's interview that circulates on this site sometimes, he spent those 16 years in a suspended state of agony. And even if you don't believe that, he was still dead. Non-existant.

For Wei Wuxian, the war is fresh. The pain is fresh. He has no idea what's doing because he's barely an adult, if admittedly a highly skilled one for his age. The world has moved on around him and he has stayed in place. What does he do with that?

Wei Wuxian had no choice but to pretend that he's moved on, too, because that war that took so much from him was almost two decades ago, now. The Wen Remnants have been dead for over 10 years. What use is it to dig up old hurts? Except, those hurts are still hurting him.

When he died, Wei Wuxian was helping care for Lan Sizhui. Wen Yuan. When he died, Lan Wangji raised A-Yuan with the Lan. If Wei Wuxian was dead for 13/16 years and A-Yuan was 3/4 when he died, then Lan Sizhui is about his age, or very close to it.

This is the child he was raising. This child is now his peer.

Wei Wuxian has memories of war and tragedy, but no one to talk to. The juniors, who are closest to him in relative age, haven't known war, and everyone who has known it has moved on. He's trapped between generations, and that has to be so incredibly isolating.

Jiang Yanli, the Wen Remnants, Wen Qing of particular note, all of them died shortly before he did. Did he ever really get to grieve them? Will he be allowed to now? Especially with his reputation. Especially with the number of people who would really prefer him to simply leave the past in the past. Especially with all the people who think he is the cause of the deaths he wishes to grieve.

Will he be allowed to mourn, if the cultivation world thinks these deaths are his fault? Or that these people don't deserve to be grieved?

Wei Wuxian has the misfortune of being a man who is a decade out of time, and he will have to learn to cope with that, but how does he account for the missing years? When the pain is still fresh for him, how does he find a place in a society that has long since moved on?

[juniemunie]

"Why am I still doing this?"

"Don't you get it?"

"This is all just a show... and we're playing parts~"

[satans-knitwear]

Unrestrained summer fun!!

[jichanxo]

how it started:

how it's going:

[marswasnothere]

Thinkin about merperson shark max and marine biologist daniel

[one-time-i-jumped-off-a-cliff]

[skuaclan]

skuaclan confession foxfern originally died on moon 1 but i couldn't find a way to work that into my plans/didn't want to spend ages on the literal first moon setting up her death so i reset the game and started again lmfao

[infizero]

like LOOK AT THEMMMMMM they make me fucking crazy theyre so shaped they go so well together im gonna bite someone.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[charaznablescanontoyota]

i could write a big post about how my mutuals should all read undead unluck but im just going to post these images instead

[explodingcrayon]

nothing quite like planning your mom's 60th birthday with her (because if you tried to plan a surprise, she'd hate every aspect of it and then blame you for ruining her day) and when you tell her what you think will be the linchpin part of it - you making her favorite type of cake from scratch, special for her - she instead excitedly suggests you go buy an alternative from a store 🙃 sure. ok. whatever you want! i guess!

[fruitzbat]

fuck man i love my research. italian communists are some of the funniest people on earth

[neiptune]

I, for one, hope that pedro pascal is staying hydrated

[psygull]

2, 4, 8, 21? :)

2. top 3 least favorite subgenres

torture porn for sure, zombies i usually don't find very interesting, and whenever it's about a robot or ai. i would like to see creatures please

4. favorite holiday themed horror

i don't think i've seen any of these, actually! which is SAD because i love the idea... i know about a bunch i just need to get around to watching them

8. a beloved movie you dislike

FRESH (2022). ugh i was disappointed with it! it's got a neat premise but like. it's so clean i want it to be nastier. i get the whole point is that it's tricking you into thinking it's a romcom but then once the "scary" bit starts it still looks like a lifetime movie. hallmark channel horror. since it's about the commodification of women's bodies it would be gauche to have a bunch of nudity in it but at least let me see sebastian stan's ass or something

21. all time favorite movie and why

DIFFICULT QUESTION i might have to go with in the mouth of madness? you can't go wrong with sam neill, obviously, but it's also got a bunch of slimy practical effects freaks and that meta horror i love so very very much. runners up are psycho ii (beloved) and possession (sam neill again)

[icewindandboringhorror]

Daily Log 9

Trying out (probably just temporarily) making short daily-ish notes about things, in an attempt to see if it helps me be more reflective or productive lol.

Activities: Worked on the previously mentioned tapestry style painting thing for like 5-6 hours today (with a few breaks in between), and that's just for the border around the main picture lol.. I think all the little sections and detail always take longer than I think they might. But hopefully the final product will look interesting! :0

I feel like I'm entering another Sick Phase where I just am weird/ill/sleepy/having joint pains much of the day (probably some vitamin deficiencies or hormone imbalances or general bodily inflammation or whatever nonsense seems to randomly pop up from time to time lol), so couldn't focus on anything more intensive like writing or editing videos, unfortunately. It's good to have smaller crafts I can do that don't take much mental effort and are just menial hand tasks (like carving, painting, sculpting, etc.), but I still always feel frustrated falling behind on the things I see as much more broadly significant to my overall life and potential career (making games, writing, finishing videos, socializing, costumes, etc.)

Organized my desk a little. Responded to some doctor emails. Paid bills.

Planned out something I might make with pressed flowers tomorrow.

Edited like 4 costume photos.

Also have a lingering sense of dread due to the weather. The heat often makes me feel terrible, and if I'm already in kind of a Bad Phase at the moment, I'm afraid of it making it even worse... stimky..

Which I know these temperatures are nothing to some people but.. to me... aUGHHHH... I am abnormally heat sensitive + live in a dinky old apartment with no ventilation that gets direct sun the hottest part of the day.. on a 90F day outside, it literally gets about 84F inside.. like.. even people who love the heat I feel like would struggle to sleep at night if their bed is 85F lol... hewwo.. You can spray yourself down with water, drink ice water, put a fan on yourself, etc. etc. but.. sometimes it just feels so oppressive and inescapable..

ANYWAY. Aside from painting, feeling weird, and dreading the upcoming heat/contemplating my entire life and how to get enough money to move to a different climate somehow one day/existential exhaustion/etc., I didn't accomplish very much lol

Spent maybe 30 minutes thinking about a little more worldbuilding stuff, and some things in reference to the game I mentioned resuming work on at some point.

Notable sights: The clouds were really pretty and pastel this afternoon, and some stars are visible in the sky for once since the nights are beginning to be clearer. The 'forget me not' flowers that I thought had died after transplanting actually seemed to be perked up and healthy looking today, and perhaps may actually survive. >:3

Goals moving forward: Do new poll adventure post. focus on social activities, finding new friends in the places I want to move, communicating with the ones I have. Physical therapy exercises. Finish and upload videos, edit costume pictures & etc. Do the new costumes I've planned. MAKE SCULPTURES at some point, I miss them.

Notable foods: Not much, kind of a warm day so didn't really want to use the oven. No idea how I'll handle the diet I've been put on by my doctors (involves usually cooking all food fresh, using the stove a lot, nothing is supposed to be canned or processed or premade, so that eliminates a lot of 'quick easy simple warm weather' meals, etc. etc.) during the heatwave. I might just have to break the diet a little and hope it doesn't give me stomach pains while I'm already hot and feeling sick lol..

I did have a boiled egg with some green onions on top, which is very simple but was refreshing somehow lol. Another ice cold ginger ale treat today, and some cold prune juice (which I know most people find gross/it's an old person food/etc., but I like that it's a smooth textured and not very sweet juice? Like it's slightly thicker than apple juice, has a lightly bitter taste, etc. I just find it nice for some reason. More evidence I am secretly an 85 year old wizard)