#stay a while starchild

[dailyenglishvoca]

Today's song is Stay a While, Starchild by Sati featuring the Vocaloid Kaito

[atiredangel]

Hello !

You can call me the starchild, and I use only it/itself pronouns.

I am a sort of angel, I believe, though I have no memories left, only the feeling of ache and longing for a home I cannot seem remember (and also I miss my wings, please, please give them back)

I am also a caninekin, though this blog will not focus on this I just wanted to share it with you. (currently creating another blog for it, might put it in here later !)

My DMs and asks are open, I love love looove to talk to fellow otherkins/alterhumans/therians or even humans, connexion to others means a lot to me !

Tags I may use:

starchild's things: random stuff

starchild's ache: when I'm aching for and missing my god/fellow angels/wings/you get it

Things I associate with my angelic self: tears (golden especially), crying while looking up at the sky, longing and ache, yellow/gold, white feathers, stray rays of sun through the clouds, stars

Stay safe and take care lovelies, may the stars shine on your path 🌟

- the starchild

[bongsuvn]

Art by Not A Starchild

HỒ XUÂN HƯƠNG WAS A BISEXUAL?

(Tiếng Việt ở dưới)

Hồ Xuân Hương 胡春香 (1772 – 1822) was one of the greatest poets in Vietnamese history, nicknamed Lady of Nôm Poetry. Most of Hồ Xuân Hương’s works were able to escape the constrained restrictions of traditional literature to reveal her own voice; many called her distinctive language as “serenely profane.” Her poems were famous for their bold sensuality, especially her direct yet flowery depictions of sexual intercourse, completely different from the folk poems of similar motifs by Vietnamese women.

“Congratulations to whoever, skillfully Planted the four posts of the swing, beautifully. Some people climb aboard to swing, while others Are just quiet onlookers, observing and smiling. Curving his knees, the boy arches his back. Twisting her wasp waist, the girl pushes her bosom. Four pink pant-tails are flapping in the wind. Two pairs of jade legs stretch side by side. For these spring games, how many know its true meaning? Once the posts are removed, lie deserted holes!” (The Swing)

However, Hồ Xuân Hương not only liked to describe copulation between men and women, but she also enjoyed detailing the female form through sensuous imagery, as if she herself were being enchanted by her own words.

“My body is both white and round, In water and hills, I now swim, now sink. Whether I be soft or hard, depends on your playful hand, But I still shall keep my true red heart.” (The Floating Cake, Copy of Xuân Hương Poetry version)

“A gorge, a gorge, and yet, the same old gorge. Praise to whoever has gouged out this scene: A lurid red cave with a bushy arch, And rich green boulders covered with algae. Now the stiff wind blows, shaking pine branches. Dewdrops dripping from willow leaves. You who are virtuous, or saintly, who hasn’t tried, Even with weak knees, exhausted feet, to mount it?” (Ode to Ba Dội Gorge, Recorded Collection of National Literature version)

“Summer breeze gently flows from the east, A girl lies to rest but she slips into a deep sleep. Her bamboo comb is loosely attached to her hair, Her pink undergarment drops low on her waist. Virgin dew still veils her two fairy mounts, Water has yet flown through her garden of paradise. Upon noticing, a gentleman hesitates to pass by, Much difficult to leave but troubled if he stays.” (Ode to Sleep, Recorded Collection of National Literature version)

Normally, these poems were analyzed through heteronormative lens, in which Hồ Xuân Hương saw herself as the women in her works, displaying the feminine sexual power under Vietnam’s patriarchal oppression. However, when applying queer theory, these works could be viewed from a different perspective: Hồ Xuân Hương might’ve been writing from the man’s point of view. This was merely a hypothesis, but if the phenomenon of feminized Confucian scholars existed, then there could also exist a masculinized female scholar. Under queer theory, if Hồ Xuân Hương was indeed writing under a male gaze, her works would explode in homoerotic sensuality, particularly of sapphic nature.

Furthermore, Hồ Xuân Hương also had a poem addressed to a woman named Mộng Lan (literally “orchid dream”). There were many theories to explain this work: maybe Mộng Lan was the nickname of a certain man; maybe Mộng Lan was a close friend of hers. But once the poem’s atmosphere was clearly displayed, one could feel the evocation of romance.

“The wind already blows orchid breeze, But the air grows cooler as we meet. The ode to snow continues to echo, My unfinished wine cup still awaits the moon. Chariots, cannons, and horses fight bravely on the chessboard, The instrument strings in twangs and twings, To whoever dreams of my soulmate, Please don’t hesitate to speak.” (To the Flirtatious Lady Mộng Lan, Collection of Unwanted Weed version)

Did the Lady of Nôm Poetry not only write to undermine the Confucian patriarchy, to challenge the oppression of female sexual expression, but also to break the standard of sexuality and gender identity? Could she not only like men, but also women? Could she be bisexual?

In the 17th and 18th centuries, Vietnamese society suffered greatly under the ravaging wars between Cochinchina and Tonkin. While Cochinchina of the south was more relaxed in ideologies, the northern Tonkin was restricted greatly due to Confucianism. According to historian Tạ Chí Đại Trường, due to political and moral suppression, many northern Vietnamese authors would borrow the perspectives and words of women, essentially hiding under a feminine shadow, writing metaphors through another gender. They became known as feminized Confucian scholars. He also noted that many scholars also hid under the pen name of Hồ Xuân Hương.

==================

HỒ XUÂN HƯƠNG LÀ SONG TÍNH LUYẾN ÁI?

Hồ Xuân Hương 胡春香 (1772 – 1822) là một đại thi hào của Việt Nam, được mệnh danh là Bà chúa thơ Nôm 婆主詩喃. Hầu hết thi ca Hồ Xuân Hương theo dòng chảy chung đã thoát được các quan niệm sáng tác cố hữu vốn đề cao niêm luật chặt chẽ để bộc lộ được tiếng nói của thời đại mình; có nhiều người cho rằng đặc sắc của thơ bà là “thanh thanh tục tục 清清俗俗.” Thơ của Hồ Xuân Hương nổi tiếng táo bạo, đầy gợi cảm, đặc biệt là các bài miêu tả giao hợp rất chân thật, bạch hoá tình dục một cách khác hoàn toàn các thơ ca dao cùng mô típ của phụ nữ Việt Nam.

“Bốn cột khen ai khéo khéo trồng, Người thì lên đánh kẻ ngồi trông. Trai co gối hạc khom khom cật, Gái uốn lưng ong ngửa ngửa lòng. Bốn mảnh quần hồng bay phấp phới, Hai hàng chân ngọc duỗi song song. Chơi xuân đã biết xuân chăng tá, Cọc nhổ đi rồi, lỗ bỏ không!” (Đánh đu)

Thế nhưng, Hồ Xuân Hương không chỉ thích miêu tả tình dục giữa trai với gái, mà còn thích diễn tả thân thể phụ nữ một cách mê hoặc gợi tình, như thể bà cũng đang bị từng chữ của mình hấp dẫn vào.

“Thân em vừa trắng lại vừa tròn, Bảy nổi ba chìm mấy nước non. Mềm rắn nhờ tay quân tử vọc, Khăng khăng vẫn giữ tấm lòng son.” (Bánh trôi nước, bản Xuân Hương thi sao 春香詩抄)

“Một đèo một đèo lại một đèo, Khen ai khéo đặt cảnh cheo leo. Cửa son đỏ hoét tùm um móc, Hòn đá xanh rì lún phún rêu. Lắt lẻo cành thông cơn gió thốc, Đầm đìa lá liễu giọt sương gieo. Hiền nhân quân tử ai là chẳng, Mỏi gối chồn chân vẫn muốn trèo.” (Vịnh đèo Ba Dội, bản Quốc văn tùng kí 國文叢記)

“Mùa hè hây hẩy gió nồm đông, Tiên nữ nằm chơi quá giấc nồng. Lược trúc chải cài trên mái tóc, Yếm đào trễ xuống dưới nương long. Ðôi gò Bồng Đảo sương còn ngậm, Một lạch Đào Nguyên suối chửa thông. Quân tử dùng dằng đi chẳng dứt, Đi thì cũng dở ở sao xong.” (Vịnh nằm ngủ, bản Quốc văn tùng kí 國文叢記)

Bình thường thì những câu thơ này đều được phân tích theo định chuẩn hoá dị tính, là bà xem mình trong quan điểm của các cô gái trong thơ, hiển thị sức mạnh tình dục của đàn bà dưới áp chế của phụ hệ. Thế nhưng, nếu ứng dụng thuyết lệch pha, thì có thể xem các loạt thơ này dưới ánh nhìn khác: Hồ Xuân Hương có thể đang viết dưới quan điểm của các quân tử. Đây chỉ là giả thuyết, nhưng nếu đã có hiện tượng nhà Nho lại cái, thì không việc gì cái không thể lại nhà Nho. Nếu đọc các câu thơ dưới thuyết lệch pha, là bà thơ Nôm đang viết dưới ánh nhìn của đàn ông, thì thơ sẽ biểu lộ rạch ròi những miêu tả gợi cảm hướng tới cảm quan đồng tính, cụ thể là đồng tính nữ.

Không chỉ thế, Hồ Xuân Hương còn có một bài thơ gửi một nữ sĩ tên Mộng Lan. Có nhiều thuyết để giải thích thơ: có thể Mộng Lan là biệt danh của một chàng trai nào đó; có thể Mộng Lan là bạn thân thiết của bà. Nhưng nếu diễn lại cảnh trong thơ, thì cũng có thể gợi ra các yếu tố lãng mạn.

“Gió thổi hơi Lan đã mát lừng, Tự nhiên gặp gỡ cũng vì chưng. Câu thơ Vịnh tuyết còn văng vẳng, Chén rượu chờ trăng vẫn ngấn lưng. Cờ muốn thi gan xe pháo mã, Đàn còn lựa gảy tính tình tưng. Nhắn ai mơ kẻ tri âm đó, Xin ngỏ lời ra chớ ngập ngừng.” (Gởi tao nương Mộng Lan 寄騷娘夢蘭, bản Tạp thảo tập 雜草集)

Phải chăng Hồ Xuân Hương đương thời viết thơ không chỉ để đá xéo chế độ phụ hệ Nho giáo, đập tan sự áp bức của chuẩn mực tình dục, mà còn vượt rào tiêu chuẩn của tính dục và giới tính? Phải chăng bà không chỉ thích nam giới, mà còn thích nữ giới? Phải chăng bà là song tính luyến ái?

Vào thế kỉ 17 đến 18, xã hội Việt Nam có nhiều biến động với sự chia cắt Đàng Trong và Đàng Ngoài. Khi Đàng Trong có vẻ phóng khoáng hơn, thì Đàng Ngoài, những Nho sĩ bị cấm đoán nhiều hơn. Theo lí giải của nhà sử học Tạ Chí Đại Trường 謝志大長, chính sự đè nén về chính trị và đạo đức đã khiến một bộ phận tác giả mượn lời người nữ, núp bóng đàn bà, chuyển giới tưởng tượng để thác lời, sáng tác; họ trở thành những nhà Nho lại cái. Ông cũng cho rằng đã có vài Nho gia núp bóng dưới cái tên của Hồ Xuân Hương.

__________ Tham khảo: talawas.org/talaDB/showFile.php?res=10067&rb=0102 thivien.net/Hồ-Xuân-Hương/author-PBy92bBuBMMs53v9tc9E0A tienve.org/home/literature/viewLiterature.do?action=viewArtwork&artworkId=3830

__________ *Định chuẩn hoá dị tính (heteronormativity): niềm tin dị tính xác định qua chuẩn mực hệ nhị phân giới để áp đặt lên lối sống, suy nghĩ, lịch sử, văn hoá của con người lẫn động vật, xem những thứ không chuẩn mực với hệ nhị phân giới là bất thường, không tự nhiên

*Hệ nhị phân giới (gender binary): sự phân loại giới thành hai thái cực đối lập nhau, hoặc là nam, hoặc là nữ, thường theo hệ thống xã hội hoặc theo từng vùng văn hoá

*Thuyết lệch pha (queer theory): một lí thuyết phê bình văn học chuyên quan tâm đến giới tính, tính dục, và tình dục; mục tiêu bao trùm là để giải cấu trúc các chuẩn mực trong xã hội, cụ thể là định chuẩn hoá dị tính, đồng thời điều tra cách thức và lí do chúng ra đời

*Cảm quan đồng tính (homoerotism): nhận thức và cảm nhận hướng tới đồng tính luyến ái

*Đồng tính nữ (lesbian): người phụ nữ bị lôi cuốn trên phương diện tình dục hoặc tình yêu bởi những người phụ nữ khác

*Song tính luyến ái (bisexuality): mối quan hệ hay chỉ sự hấp dẫn tình cảm hoặc tình dục của một người với hai giới tính, nam và nữ, hoặc là nhiều hơn một phái tính hay giới tính

[klaineccfanficlibrary]

Hi I'm looking for this fic and I couldn't find it in the library but in the fic I think Blaine is older and is siblings with Rachel (anderberry) and Kurt is friends with Rachel and Kurt is obsessed with star child and there's a concert happening where Blaine lives but Mercedes and Tina can't make it so Blaine agrees to take Kurt and let's him stay over at his house for a few days with Burt's permission and Blaine has a tattoo of Kurt's name on his chest or something? And I think there's a continuation of the story where Blaine has to move in with Kurt and Rachel after a while for some reason and at that point they had already broken up and all this happened without Rachel knowing.

That's all I remember

Hello! That is -

The Underneath verse by @little-escapist

Part 1 - Soundcheck

Before a concert, there's a soundcheck to make sure that everything works as it should.

In high school, Kurt Hummel makes friends. Those friends lead him to new music, which in turn leads him to accepting himself. Somewhere along the way he meets his friend's big brother, Blaine - and that, more than anything else, changes everything.

Or, the AU where Adam Lambert is Elliott Starchild is Adam Lambert.

Part 2 - The Concert

The concert, the main event: through music, you can go through many emotions like excitement, joy, sadness, love, pleasure and even heartbreak.

Kurt is going to see Elliott Starchild live in concert with his friend Rachel's big brother Blaine. That concert begins a journey he never thought he'd find himself on. Can dreams really come true?

Part 3 - Encore

Just when you think it's all over, it's time for encore.

Kurt is living his best life with Rachel in New York. He is a student in NYADA, he got a small role in a movie, and befriended his idol, Elliott Starchild. Everything comes to halt when Rachel tells him that her brother is moving in with them. Little does she know that her brother also happens to be Kurt's ex.

~jen

[stuckasmain]

Dave’s old life is cast aside and he is reborn (semi-literally) as a star child. It is an ending that has left many baffled, including me, but is ultimately a touching end and beginning.

Dave ends the story an evolved being, yet not so far detached from his human origin. He still has a great deal of emotion and curiosity - he becomes a baby because he simply is one when it comes to understanding the universe. He could go anywhere, do anything and yet he goes to earth. He goes and watches over it like a shiny toy, while his physical ties have been severed he’s still attached to it- almost like a mother, if we stay with the baby metaphor.

Eventually he will move on from it but for now he is a protector of sorts. The guardian of earth. He stops the bomb not for his own sake but because he simply wants humanity to continue on- he stops a potential doomsday!

It’s too bad this is completely uprooted in the following bits of the series. He is “beyond” emotion, he is on Europa. I would be fine if the evolution or planet was focused on even remotely besides the same few paragraphs, he’s transformed and cast aside. All of the prior meaning is rebuked, all of his humanity removed. See it wasn’t the transformation that did it but the story itself— as it decided to pivot and couldn’t just have him watching. He must be a blank slate. He must be elsewhere- he can’t even enjoy watching the other planet or if he does we don’t really hear of it.

Dave becomes more of a plot device than a person, as a star child there’s so many facinating things you could do with him. For one thing a dressing the trauma that came from that and before, and — again either guardian of earth - self chosen- or we actually see his involvement elsewhere. He becomes a just as much of a tool as the monolith.

Not only is his humanity stripped but his agency, in 2010 he describes himself as a dog on a leash a good number of times. While I absolutely adore that metaphor, it’s so tragic and not even acknowledged as such?! (Again so much could be considered cosmic horror and it’s either had waved or blankly accepted) he went from a near omnipotent being to LOSING LARGE CHUNKS OF TIME AND BEING USED AS A PROBE. He’s suddenly beyond humanity when he was so attached before; he becomes apathetic incredibly fast. (Which, as a immortal being is understandable but it’s absolutely unearned and not in character) -> my issue isn’t with him becoming a tool of some higher power it’s that it’s sort of hand waved “it is how it is” and not addressed how messed up and interesting it is.

Now I’ve yet to read 3001 but my point here broadly stands. I fully believe it should’ve ended after 2010, as it comes across as very very clear it was a two book story and 2061 is a whole separate one with some characters tossed into it.

Arcs were over. There was a bit more explanation as to what happened in the first one; we got closure alongside Heywood. Things were set up for the future but it was more in a way for you to view them as fully developed not exactly a sequel. (Like the Hal 10,000 idea). It’s frustrating because Dave as a Starchild can lead to so many interesting things and it was a beautiful idea in 2001 but … after that it mistreats and mischarectetizes Him so fast in a way that frustrates me to no end. Maybe if there was an actual focus or exploration I could understand the direction but making him a cut out god figure is such a sad end.

A child of the stars still clinging to its former life, its humanity…

Oh what could have been. I’d like to imagine Dave would’ve never completely… not been Dave, yes over centuries he may subdue emotions, his interest may waver but what we get is a name and maybe some memory.

—

Clarification:

I fully enjoy 2010, my issues with Dave in that are minimal just that it’s a little sad he swaps guardianship but I can understand. I was excited and interested in Europa… only for that too also get sort of ignored.

There’s also some interesting points to come out of 2061 - how the monolith works, conversing with Hal and he does seem to have a genuine interest in study but it’s also where he’s sort of a name drop and little else

It’s the stripping him of his emotion and character that really gets me - as it’s a route that isn’t earned as Clark absolutely does not write about trauma or if he does it’s a off handed “ok so everyone dying and the monolith was a little scary but now I’m blue and don’t care” it’s even true for human characters idk

I pick and choose what I want to keep from the further books honestly, we’ll see if 3001 fixes this or if this rant grows longer. I’m just sad, Dave’s such a fascinating character and he’s so mistreated?

[tokio-luce]

Two meters from you chapter 4

“Happy birthday Paul I know you wanted to know what skydiving was like are you ready?”

The video shows a young girl smiling at the bed as she prepares for the jump, Paul watches the video and feels a lump in his throat and tears begin to sting his eyes, Julia screams and laughs as she falls with the instructor and the parachute opens.

At the end Julia appears smiling “Don’t worry someday we will jump together little brother” she said with a big smile “I love you see you soon”

Paul was crying in front of his computer and with a broken voice he said “I love you too Julia”

Ace was tuning his guitar while being attended to by Velvet

-I like to see you so optimistic- he said smiling.

-Hey Velvet what if it doesn’t work out- he said unsure of his own situation.

-How are you feeling- said the doctor checking Paul's feeding tube which showed signs of infection by the look on Paul's face it didn't seem like everything was going well- We'll try another medication otherwise we'll have to change the tube - That didn't sound good to Paul at all he didn't know if his lungs would withstand that operation.

In one of the many video calls that Paul and Ace have to treat each other something caught Ace's attention there was a portrait adorned with flowers it was a young girl Ace was surprised there wasn't. He didn't know that the starchild could draw.

-Star child, did you draw it? - Ace said looking through the camera at that portrait Paul's expression changed completely he was no longer smiling like before it was as if the question had bothered him

-You don't have to ask so many questions okay Ace - he said cutting off the call leaving Ace very confused

-She only appears in that video there she doesn't appear again in any of Paul's videos- Ace said to his best friend Peter while showing him his computer.

-You're right I found her networks and she's been offline for a year she hasn't uploaded anything mostly they are photos of her and Paul

…

Hours later Paul was meditating to keep his breathing stable and relax until Ace entered the room

-Julia is dead right?- he said without any delicacy.

-How delicate, Mr. imbecile- said Paul with a terrifying calmness while looking at Ace.

-Paulie, we can't be delicate, we just live in the moment- Ace continued but was interrupted by Paul.

-What a creative way to tell me that I'm dying- he said trying to stay calm- But new news Spaceman - he said that nickname as if it disgusted him- I can't die, I've been dying all my fucking life, we celebrated every birthday as if it was the last but she died along with my parents' marriage, WHEN THE ONE WHO SHOULD DIE WAS ME - he shouted angrily and sadly - They had already assumed it and we knew that the one who should die was me, not her- he said with his voice totally broken.

-That's why you're obsessed with your treatment and you act like you can't do anything else but follow your regimen- Ae said trying to calm Paul- Paul you shouldn't feel guilty for being alive that's survivor's syndrome you're a sick boy who has survivor's guilt-

-ENOUGH, just enough I can't die I can't do that to my parents- he said- I have no choice

-Paul if you have it that's what I'm trying to tell you please listen to me- Ace said desperately

-No, I don't have anything- he said getting up and leaving the room, while Ace cursed himself

-Paul more or less you know this boy you know he doesn't know limits I don't think he intends to hurt you- said Eric while he was sitting two meters from Paul

-I know but he simply said that I was dead as if it didn't matter and I had to be there I had to be there I had- said Paul crying again.

-Paul stop, you didn't know you couldn't do anything it's not up to you stop punishing yourself- said Eric trying not to cry - I would love to hug you but I can't these damn diseases are like a prison please imagine that I'm hugging you, you know I love you- said Eric

-I love you too Eric - said Paul then both friends went to get some ice cream to get over the bad taste in their mouths.

Ace was in his room Paul still refuses to talk to him so he had an idea, Paul was in his bed he sighed he was afraid the infection hadn't gone down so tomorrow he would have surgery.

Something was slipped under his door Paul got out of bed and looked at the manila envelope on the floor in it there was a cartoon of a spaceman holding a bouquet of wilted purple roses with a speech bubble that said "I'm sorry star child" Paul smiles slightly.

Ace was nervous as he waited outside Paul's room Paul opened the door-Paulie are you okay I'm so sorry about what I said I-

-I got your cartoon I forgive you- said Paul barely peeked through the door, Ace noticed a sign that said about restrictions do not drink or eat Ace felt a lump form in his throat that means one thing- My tube got infected so they will change it tomorrow morning general anesthesia.

-But Paulie are your lungs going to hold up to it?- said Ace, Paul simply didn't say anything, during the night Paul couldn't sleep at all the next morning, Paul tried to be calm while he was taken to the pre-op room Paul was staring at the ceiling when someone came in he was wearing a full protective suit.

-Hey star children- Paul was surprised to see Ace there-Ace what the hell are you doing-he said smiling a little

Ace simply shrugs-Well Paulie it's your first operation without Julia and before you ask I know from your videos some will say that I'm your biggest fan or a stalker- he said making Paul laugh- You're an idiot Ace frehley

Ace smiles and starts singing a song that Paul and his sister always sang together before any operation that Paul had-Everything will be okay Paulie-smiling- You promise- said Paul looking at Ace-I promise- he said showing a thumbs up, at that moment the doctor entered, Ace was able to strategically leave so as not to be seen Ace left

the area but he ran into Gene who was with Paul's parents, Ace quickly passed trying to avoid Gene

I'm serious Ace- said Gene entering the elevator with Ace- He's scared he just wanted to do something nice- Gene left the elevator angry- Damn it Gene he runs faster danger with that anesthesia with me and you know it - Ace said frustrated

Will and Stella you remind me of them - Velvet said appearing behind Ace - They were so in love - she sighs sadly - Gene and I let them break the rules so they could be happy and then - he said and went brother continued - They died under our supervision and we are not going to allow it again - he said to leave with his sister.

Ace stood there in silence thinking about Paul

- You know what to do - said the anesthesiologist, Paul looked ahead and saw the portrait of his sister Julia stuck on the ceiling, he no longer felt so scared he began to count while his sister's voice sounds in his head.

[most-tragic-character-tournament]

ok i know rose red is way behind and there’s only a day left but here’s why you should vote for her (it’s late and i’m tired so this might be kinda disorganized):

she’s stuck in an eternal cycle of vengeance, being reincarnated over and over and killing pearl every time, and not even always knowing why

(for context, every character in this musical is an incarnation of one of four characters, their settings and relationships change, and they don’t generally remember the other lives, but their grudges and obligations stay)

in the first timeline, her boyfriend (the astronomer) stole her research, published it under his name, and either cheated on her with her sister (pearl) or she broke up with him and he started dating her sister, it’s unclear

so she went to the magic bear in the forest and asked it to kill the astronomer and turn pearl into a crow and trap them both in a cave until pearl starts to starve so she’ll have to eat his corpse

the bear agrees to do it in exchange for one pot of honey, one piece of stardust, one secret baptism, and a photo of a ghost

and so she goes through life after life trying to collect them (time is mostly optional, so the original timeline her gets all the things, even if they come from later lives), and most of the time she doesn’t even remember why she’s doing it

to get the secret baptism, she kidnaps a baby (rose) from roxie usher (also rose), who had the baby at 17 and out of wedlock in 1873, because her boyfriend (the astronomer) ran off.

rose baptizes the baby in secret, which gives the baby a LOT of religious issues when she grows up (there’s a whole song about it, it’s called starchild, go listen to it) reminder that this baby is also rose! she is ruining her own life so hard!

roxie (also rose!), meanwhile, dies of grief? because that’s a thing that happens in the victorian era, and this IS vaguely based on the fall of the house of usher, so her mother, lady usher (pearl) has her body put in the vault underneath her and her husband edgar’s (the astronomer) bedroom

after roxie’s death, her brother (the bear) runs away to new york, and her mother starts going crazy

after a while, roxie comes back as a ghost and kills lady usher, as said in the show “with the rage of four generations”. basically she comes back because of all the built up betrayal and anger she’s experienced in all of her lives

once she has all the items, she goes to the bear, who tells her that he’s not going to do it, and only told her that he would so that she would bring him honey

she’s ruined her own life over and over, and she never could have done anything else, and everyone else ruined her life too, especially the astronomer

all four of them are stuck in this horrible little cycle of betrayal and murder, and they are stuck there by the universe, and by the narrative, and by themselves

a lot of other stuff happened i didn’t mention but i think that’s the main stuff that’s relevant

if you still don’t want to vote for her or have already voted against her, please go listen to ghost quartet or watch the proshot on youtube it’s really good and not nearly enough people have seen it, it’s only like an hour and a half

[Propaganda]

[rachelsummerswasright]

pov rachel finally gets the phoenix force foreverever

 Prophecies of the Starchilde named Askani have been popping up all over the Andromeda galaxy for months now. The child of life will tame life. The lost daughter of time will finally take her place and her mantle as she should have so many years ago. 

 The thing is, Rachel was the Phoenix, she did her time and the world said fuck you; no thanks. She was the true Phoenix they said, until the White Phoenix came along twice after she had fucked off. That hurt. Also her girlfriend had given up on her and started fucking Colossus. That hurt too. 

 Rachel went through a lot of pain to get to where she was today, had to do a lot of processing and let go of a lot of shit. And NOW the Phoenix Force was calling for her? Nah. No thanks. Too little, too late. The heroes fuckin’ journey. She went through one hell of a journey to even get to where she was before and that wasn't enough? 

 Scared that it would fuck her life up again if she dared to take it, Rachel ignored and avoided the Phoenix Force – doing everything in her power to stay away from it all while trying to lead the X-Men on a perilous journey home from the farthest reaches of the universe. This journey ends with success, but at the cost of her own life. Rachel sacrificed herself for the final push and gets the team home. 

[dunnedsparce]

I'm Dune, and I live in the middle of nowhere a short flight north of Snowpoint, though I'm originally from Johto. I'm a program tech at a land and sea pokemon research center here. My job's more about facilitating the pokebiologist's work than partocipating in the studies, but I get out there sometimes.

While I do have a decent number of pokemon I live, train, and work with, the ones you'll probably most often see are my house 'mons, the Sparce Squad.

(Pictures and descriptions under the cut)

Luther - my youngest dunsparce. Lax nature. Gets into less trouble than his siblings. If one of my dunsparces is flattened into a puddle in a sunbeam and there aren't traces of mischief nearby, it's probably Luther.

Lottie - Luther's sister (biologically; they were an accidental clutch of two I adopted from a young trainer who didn't know about the dittos and the daycares). Bold nature, doesn't have the same curiosity drive as Lysander, but by Arceus does she ever go along for the ride. If they've gotten an idea into their heads, Lottie's probably leading the charge.

Lysander - Has an impish nature, and it takes about two seconds of knowing him for that to be incredibly obvious. I had to babyproof my house when I took him in. I didn't even catch him, I just found him in my house once when I forgot to close the door. It took a long time for him to acclimate enough to let me pokeball him, and he never really left the wild part of his personality behind, but he's a well-adjusted pokemon in spite of that.

Reginald - my trusted starter pokemon, met when I was maybe 8 exploring that cave outside Violet in Johto. Now that I've graduated and moved out on my own to a little town near Snowpoint in Sinnoh, I'm even happier to have him around. His Relaxed nature puts my anxiety at ease. He's the oldest of my dunsparce of course, and he's mellowed out as we've grown, but he does still get into the aspear berries if I turn my back on them...

Next up are some of my other 'mons. I had to leave some behind with my folks for the time being, since I don't have a house here yet. But I did bring these guys along!

Fen - short for Fenrikaash, my arcanine. I let him learn bad habits as a growlithe and now he thinks he's a lapdog. On the plus side, having an arcanine is great here for transportation and warmth, and he has MILES of open area to run in!

Delibird?? - I don't have a delibird but I'm pretty sure there's one living in my chimney. I'm gonna have to sligoogle this one, I have no idea what to do about chimney delibirds

Saltlick - a Nacli I saw on the beach when I first got here. It's content to sit on the shelf with my rock collection. He stays inside or out under my direct supervision because the wild stantler like him too much, thus his name.

Starchild - a galarian zigzagoon I was traded from a buddy in Galar. He's a pain in the ass and I love him so much. He attacks my phone if he doesn't like the song I'm listening to. Big fan of The Funeral Portrait though.

Lastly, some of the pokemon I interact with regularly that aren't my own!

Joel - a lapras the pokebiologists use to haul in krabby traps. I think she belongs to one of my coworkers.

Covy - a corviknight belonging to my wildlife pokebiologist coworker. She takes her up to do overhead counts of stantler and tauros populations

??? - a corvisquire belonging to Covy's trainer. I did not know it existed until it scared the hell out of me at work

[lets-try-some-writing]

Heyyyy Opportunity! Hope you're doing well, stay healthy and hydrated! (I've been dead for a while lol)

STARCHILD!! Good to see you again!! :D:D

I will absolutely stay healthy and hydrated so long as you do too

[archyvist-sky]

The starchild and the moon - Chapter 2

Mothers

Astro stumbled through the town, the hurt girl on his back. People were looking at him, staring. Covered in blood and wounds, a tiny bloody girl on his back and with a wide sharp-toothed grin it was easy for them to see a monster in him.   He stumbled through the door to his home.  “Oh darling, what has happened to you?”  The boy’s mom ran over to help her son stay on his feet. 

A few minutes later, the girl was put in a bed to rest, after Astros mother cleaned her off the blood and now, they were sitting close, while she was patching up her son.   “Mom, are we monsters? I could not try to heal her at all. I could only use it to hurt someone else. Well, me. That sounds like evil magic”  “Whether anyone is evil is not something, that their ancestry decides. Where they come from or what their parents were. The thing that makes someone evil or good is the choices they make. And I think making the choice to stand up for someone else is a good one.”   She smiled, patting the boys head.   “Let me make something to eat for you two. You keep an eye on your friend.”  Astro nodded, looking intently at the girl for a few moments before he got bored again. She looked frail. Pale, almost white skin with freckles around the nose and shaggy, ash-gray hair, bound into a ponytail, that’s braided after a certain point, as if she tried to braid it herself, but couldn’t do it without looking. Then a magenta-colored eye opened. And then a slightly grumbly voice muttered:  “Hm, I thought that would hurt more.”  “Oh, it does... I used magic to give your wound to me. Pretty cool right? Oh wait, when you meet someone, and you want to be their friend, you have to tell them your name. Uh, I’m Astro, I'm 11 and people say I'm a monster. What about you?”  A shadow rushed over the girls face. For a short moment she looked very sad. A moment after she smiled again.   “I uh... I don’t have a name anymore... But yeah, that magic sounds awesome! But you should have given that wound to them instead! Those fucks go around and just hurt people, they deserve it!”  “Language, young lady.” - Astros mother was in the doorway of the small house, holding two plates of a thick vegetable stew in her hands. “And what do you mean, you don’t have a name anymore?” She set down the plates and sat down on the bed next to the child.   “Yeah, it’s not like you can lose a name. It’s not like they are real.”, Astro added.  “If they aren’t real, you can just give me another one, okay? I... “, the child sighed, and her eyes seemed to glisten a bit in the dim light, “I used to have a mom too, okay? But now I don’t have a mom and because that woman gave me my name, I don’t have a name either! Fuck her!”  A mix of confusion and worry formed on the face of Astros mother. Such a young child, rejecting her mother so much, that she gives up her own name?   "What do yo-” Astro tried to ask, before his mom held his mouth shut.  “We won't ask you any questions about her, if you don’t want to talk about it. You brought my son his smile back and for that alone I want you to be our guest and feel at home here. You can call me Lucia, if you need anything, yes, Luna?”   Lucia smiled at the newly named girl and got up. “Eat up children, before it gets cold.”  As she left the room Luna hid her face in the blanket. A stirring mix of emotions, sadness, happiness, jealousy.  

Astro looked up at her. Should he ask her about her mother, or should he just keep quiet about it?

[thevindicativevordan]

Comics this week?

Action Comics #1058 - Loved seeing Clark put some of Lex's toys to good use against his opponent. Superman is smart you guys! Glad that PKJ was able to canonize the House Mythos he's been talking about for ages before he leaves Action. Starchild is a great use of one of Clark's various "titles", not as crazy about Red Son but it does bestow a fantasy vibe that might fit Osul being a quasi-Jesus figure. Definitely the Empire of Shadows talking to Norah, man I'm excited to see Supes and the evil Batman clash, especially since Supes has his own suit of armor and sword! Neat how PKJ bookends his run with Supes being depowered yet again.

Detective Comics #1075 - Decided to drop this. It's not "bad" but it's not doing anything I haven't seen a million times before, might catch it in trade, and I still need to cut back.

Steelworks #5 - I love the contrast between the phasing guy being sympathetic and Walker (the AmerTek CEO) being an unrepentant piece of shit. Glad that Dorn brough up the iron of Irons bearing John Henry's name when JH fought against tech and progress while JHI has always tried to push it forward. both of them have to beat a machine however, in Irons case a full blown mecha.

Wonder Woman #2 - More of an art showcase for Sampere but goddamn what a beautiful showcase it is. I should have seen the reveal coming that the Amazon Diana beat in the contest to become WW in the first place was the same one who kickstarted the events of this one, but I was surprised! Where does Emelie figure into Sovereign's plans I wonder? Did he simply take advantage of what she did, or is she working for him? Good stuff with Sovereign saying he was drawn to Diana because like him she's a mix of myth, and that's probably as close as Wondy fans are going to get to the clay origin coming back until Gunn decides what to do with her.

Unstoppable Doom Patrol #7 - Excellent ending to the series which unfortunately is spoiled by the tease for S2 featuring the Batwoman Who Laughs. Look Culver I know you love Morrison, when Morrison calls you out on how stupid this idea was, maybe you should just accept the criticism and undo it. Only defense I can muster is that on Culver's Twitter he does say the goal is to save her via undoing the change at least, otherwise I really enjoyed this run.

The Flash #2 - Where was this Dedato for Hickman's Avengers? Could've used those crazy angles for when the Beyonders showed up. Laughed at the Grodd/God joke and looking forward to Spurrier writing Barry.

The Penguin #3 - Still good and since this is my last Batbook I hope it stays that way.

Immortal Thor #3 - By now it's clear this is merely a very good Thor comic rather than the masterpiece of Immortal Hulk, but that's still welcome. Same as Action, it's nice to see Thor use his brains as well as his brawn to solve problems, though I find Ewing's use of Loki underwhelming. It's clear his heart isn't into the idea of pitting the brothers against each other.

[itslmdee]

As a Pratchett fan I found this summary hilarious so purchased today for Kindle.

Funky hippy inspired space bovine, Holly Starchild, was living her best partying life in San Francisco until a million or so miles away on the moon base a group of rowdy students released the fanatical bull beast and would be bovine dictator, Lord Cadmow.

This wicked power crazed bovine with his love of biscuits (that's cookies to you american folk) and horn wax merrily brings chaos to the human race using herds of deadly cyborg bovines known as Doomsday Daisybells.

As humanity is shaken by the moo inspired onslaught a wave of anti-cow hate sweeps the world.

Holly must use her groovy peace loving ways and love of funky music to help an eccentric band of humans turn the tide of humanities fortunes while staying true to her peaceful beliefs. Make milk not war! 

[pkmn-spira]

"Its because the current Champion decided to stay anonymous." Ella stated. "Only thing I can share is the reasoning for that, which was tied to events two years ago. So due to that decision, none of the public even knows their name, so they're only referred to as 'the Champion' in several discussions. They still make public appearances, though. However, they always hide their identity under a hooded mask."

She continued. "Hence, who knows? Maybe you already came across the Champion unmasked, yet due to anonymity, you wouldn't figure out who they exactly are underneath the mask?" Partly a tease, yes, but it was also rooted in truth. Outside of League duties, the Champion does head out, unmasked, yet due to the anonymity in place, is able to have their privacy intact because almost nobody knew the wiser... at least except for the League.

"Oh, I wouldn't blame you if you're not aware with the recent happenings in Spira. After all, this region subject to an isolation policy since two years ago, so any possible news of those events to spread out globally have been stamped out." She began.

"Anyways, the events two years ago was a crisis caused by an organization called Team Andromeda." She explained. "Long story short, their actions nearly doomed the entire region, and was close to being successful with their goal, had it not been for our current Champion, and the Second Starchild appearing to resolve the crisis. Wasn't an ideal victory, though."

She explained further. "Team Andromeda's actions caused the deaths of many, humans and Pokémon alike. The Spiran League at that time wasn't exempt to the losses, too, as during that crisis, the major casualties the Spiran League had to endure was the loss of the first, fourth, fifth, seventh and eighth Gym Leaders. Five Gym Leaders in total were lost, and in the hands of Team Andromeda, too. The second Gym Leader, while still alive, eventually did decided to retire and step down due to the same events two years ago. All in all if you count the second Gym Leader stepping down as a loss, the Spiran League was down six Gym Leaders."

"The isolation policy was issued out by the previous Champion of Spira, to ensure that the region would be able to recover without any interference from external sources. One of the things done alongside that recovery was to reinstate new Gym Leaders to fill in for the aforementioned Gym Leaders that have passed or stepped down, under a strict aptitude test held by the now current Champion. Hence, I became the fourth Gym Leader, while my twin, Laura, became the seventh Gym Leader."

"Thus, the following moments was focused on putting Spira back up to its feet, and two years later, here we are, isolation policy lifted." She stated.

"Ah, do apologize if this topic did seem rather heavy. Its just how things were, and there's no point in hiding it anyway."

Jirachi, right.

That made the most sense for the Wishweaver from what he knew about that particular Pokemon. Some part of him wondered just what the limit was for that Pokemon's wish granting abilities. Could it break a curse placed on someone? Could it extend the life of another? His Togekiss's Pokeball felt incredibly heavy in his pocket, his heart aching for a moment.

How much time did she have-- No, he was done with that.

He was done with trying to fight Gods and life and death. And his curse wasn't worth breaking. Not yet anyway. He still had so much to see, to learn. Though he did feel an almost boiling bitterness at the mention of the Sinnoh Gods, and it surely showed on his face for the brief moment they were mentioned.

As quickly as the shadow crossed his face, it was gone.

"Ah, I see! That all makes quite a bit of sense. I wonder if I'd be able to meet the current Champion... I haven't even heard their name mentioned in passing my whole time here. Strange, since most regions you can't go three feet without someone mentioning the regional Champion." Volo said happily, making his notes.

Turning the page, he looked up at Ella without lifting his head, pen pressed once more to paper.

"What were the events two years ago that caused the second Starchild to show itself if I may ask? I haven't really kept up with current global events."

[tokio-luce]

Two meters from you

Chapter 2

Once Ace got back to his room he was curious about that boy and decided to do some research. Some time later he found a video channel in which he appeared playing the guitar and talking about his illness. He spent almost the whole night watching those videos.

“As someone who has fibrosis, I was born terminally ill so at any moment I could die like anyone else but the difference is that I have less time left than the rest, it's hilarious” - said Paul's video and just like the rest of his videos Paul tells his daily life, sometimes he plays the guitar other times he makes videos laughing and with a positive attitude.

In the morning Paul was in his room about to have breakfast when his friend Eric Carr made him a video call. - Hi Paul - the short boy with a big head of hair greets him cheerfully - Wow you look like shit, who is it? It's someone I know -he said laughing a little, Paul also laughs at the boy's jokes, both began to talk until

- Well as I was saying I'm single -said Eric so casually and Paul almost spit out his orange juice.

-You and Carrie broke up but it seemed that you had something very special -he said sad and worried about his friend Eric unlike Paul had cancer in the heart for a while his cancer had gone into remission but a few years ago it had become active so now he was being treated and was on the waiting list at the hospital in New York since the previous one did not have the equipment to treat his disease.

-Yes don't worry it was mutual- said Eric eating a little of his breakfast, Paul doesn't believe a word of that-You're going to remain a virgin all your life- said Paul making Eric laugh as well as Paul but suddenly gasps were heard from Eric.

-Eric? Are you okay? ERIC! - Paul felt his stomach drop to the floor, jumped out of bed and ran to his door, then he saw how the nurses ran down the hall to Eric's room, Paul also ran, he didn't care about not carrying his oxygen backpack, when he arrived the door was open and Eric looked embarrassed while being scolded by Gene.

-Eric, you should be more careful, you gave us a huge scare, shorty- he said as he left the room, Paul stayed in the doorway looking at Eric, relieved and angry- Be more careful, you idiot bitch - he said, smiling a little after the scare, Eric simply smiles and shows his middle finger to Paul who does the same- Enjoy your breakfast, asshole.

-I love you, Paul- Eric shouted while laughing and Paul tells him to fuck off.

Ace looks bored out the window as the doctor talks and his parents listen attentively- Since the trial started a few months ago we have to be patient with the results for the moment Ace you have to stay away from other patients for their safety and yours you can't be near or touch them you have to be...

-Two meters away at all times - he interrupted the doctor - Exactly but you also have to collaborate with us for this to work, you have to follow your regimen to the letter - Ace simply raised his thumb in approval and the doctor left the room his parents stayed a moment before leaving.

Paul was sitting at the window looking at the photos his friends sent him from the trip for a moment he looked up and saw Ace on the roof of the hospital sitting on the edge, what the hell is he doing there he said to himself as he climbed the stairs to the roof.

-Hey what the hell are you doing - he said looking at Ace- hello starchild, my lungs are shit at least you will let me enjoy the views while I can? - he said smiling slightly- You are an idiot you know how lucky you are to be part of that clinical trial- said Paul looking at Ace, he smiled flirtatiously- How do you know about the trial you have been asking about me Paulie~ - he said smiling this made Paul's face get a little hot- You know that if you are going to act like you don't care you should go and let someone else take care of someone who values their life - he said looking with determination at Ace he liked that look, he smiled sideways and stood up on the edge of the roof- Okay.

-Ace what are you doing don't do that - said Paul panicking when he saw Ace standing then he slipped but didn't fall Paul gasped scared but the fear was replaced with anger when he heard Ace's stupid laugh.

-Oh Paulie you should have seen the face you made- he said laughing and getting off a swing being safe.

- You're a... - Paul growled angrily, walking briskly towards the front door, entering and closing it loudly.

- Hey starchild, it was just a joke, relax - Ace tried to follow Paul but the door was closed, apparently Paul got revenge for the joke by removing the twenty dollar bill he had put on the door to prevent it from closing.

- Bastard - he said, sighing but smiling at the same time.

That same night Paul was trying to play his guitar but he couldn't concentrate and he couldn't stop thinking about that idiot Ace Frehley, he sighed and stopped trying to play "love gun" he tried to distract himself or focus on something else but it was almost impossible when he tried to take his medication he opened the bottle abruptly causing everything to fall to the floor frustrated he threw it against the floor muttering curses, he took his oxygen bag gloves and his mask and went to that idiot's room.

Ace was playing some notes on his guitar when he heard knocks on the door, when he opened the door he didn't expect to see the star child standing nervously outside his door, Paul quickly looked inside the room there was no medication cart, no pills and the room was a mess there was an oscillating band and some posters about aliens and outer space.

-And.. your medication, the cart... This is a pigsty - Paul stutters getting more nervous, he takes a deep breath - Can I see your regime please?

Ace, a little surprised by the star child's attitude, agrees and gives it to him as soon as Paul has it in his hands he almost has a heart attack. On the sheet there was only a drawing of a spaceman with a guitar with rockets, Paul was sure he would have a heart attack.

-But... why... what is this shit - he said frustrated looking at the paper about to lose his nerves he crumpled the paper.

-These medications are mandatory - he said trying to calm down - Yes, I know that's why they force me to swallow them - Ace answered with annoyance, Paul frustrated throws the paper to Ace and he complained - I can't stand you - he said walking towards the elevator while Ace quickly follows him.

Paul was back in the newborn ward, he looks at the babies when Ace enters.

-Hey are you okay? You seemed very upset before - Ace said looking at Paul.

-I need you to continue your treatment please- he finally said- Why are you so interested in that- Ace said- Can you tell me, I won't laugh, I promise- Paul seemed embarrassed- I have problems with control, I need everything to be in order, otherwise I get very nervous and it's difficult, you know- he said looking at Ace- Do I really make you feel that bad? - Ace said, looking shy and embarrassed- Listen, I didn't want to make you feel like this, I just don't know how to do this shit, you know?

Paul looks at him like he's grown a new head. Patients like them are supposed to know their protocol by heart. He sighed. - Okay, I'll follow the treatment, but I want something changed - he said, looking at Paul. - I want you and I to play together. I know you play guitar. - Paul said, shaking his head. - I'm not doing that - he said.

- Well, no deal - he said, going to the door. - Enjoy your nerves - Ace said. - Seriously, can't you be at least a little disciplined to save your life? - Paul said, annoyed. - Paulie, nothing's going to save us, we just have to live in the moment - he said, walking out the door. Paul paused for a moment, but for some reason he can't stand the idea of that idiot not following his regimen, so he quickly walks out into the hallway.

-Okay, but I won't let you play my guitar and we'll do your treatment my way, to start we're going to put a medication cart in your room - said Paul looking at Ace and he had a satisfied look on his face.

-Okay, deal - he said stretching out his hand to shake Paul's, he almost got close to shaking Ace's hand but he stops and glares at Ace.

-Hey it's a joke - he said smiling, Paul smiles slightly before walking away

- idiot - said Paul

[wednesdaymunson]

I Was Made For Lovin' You

Baby Daddy!Eddie x Fem!reader

Summary: Eddie is back in town after doing press. You may not be together, but you call him when you want to get off.

Head Over Heels-pt2

Warnings: angst, slight fluff, smut, mentions of cheating, oral(f receiving), Keanu—Eddie makes sure to take care of his baby momma to where it affords her a lifestyle where she meets celebrities, dated technology..Um that's it..I think.

You hear the rhythmic knock on your door. The only person who knocks like that is him. "Y/N, babe! Open the door!" Eddie yells. You get to the door and open it. 

"Eddie! Stop being so loud! And don't call me babe!" You scolded

"Well I did have the key to this house at one point. If I still had it, I wouldn't have to knock and get loud like that. How do I know you weren't unconscious somewhere in the house or…tied up somewhere waiting to be rescued by your knight m'lady?" He grinned.

You rolled your eyes. "Yeah, well you lost those privileges a while ago. Just call the cops for a wellness check, dweeb." You laughed

"Oh, we're on the level of pet names again, Princess?"

You felt a warmth in your core when he called you that. It brought back feelings and memories from when you both started dating each other and before Evelyn. 

"Don't Edward."

"Fine Y/N, you're no fun. You used to be a lot of fun. Like that one night in the cemetery?" He teased.

"Whatever." You sighed. 

 "Where's Starchild? I promised her we'd have a tea party before Luna picks her up."

"I had Luna pick her up early. She doesn't need to see us like this. It'll confuse her. "

"Like what? Her parents getting along and co-parenting together? It's not like we're making out in front of her." He scoffed. 

You could see a bit of sadness in Eddie's face, especially in those big, brown eyes. He wishes things were different. He wishes he could go back in time, erase all the pain, start fresh and new. This was the only time you would let him in your personal space and life aside from the daughter you shared. The times when he came off tour or when you couldn't sleep and he just happened to be around. If you called, he was there. 

You found out you were pregnant with Eddie's child as soon as Corroded Coffin got signed and went on tour. He missed a lot of the pregnancy and almost missed the birth of his daughter, Evelyn Starchild Munson—the middle name was agreed upon when you figured out that you most likely conceived the night of the Kiss concert. It was a long labor, she came out fierce and without assistance, let out a powerful cry. Eddie was convinced she would be a great singer later on in life. Eddie was over the moon with her and you. He never left the hospital for the entire stay. 

Eddie was a great dad when he was home, but you eventually found out he wasn't ready to be committed to you and only you. You would get random calls from girls claiming he had slept with them on tour or at the studio. You had found phone numbers in matchbooks when doing laundry. It bothered you and when you confronted Eddie he would tell you that these girls were jealous and wanted to ruin the relationship. You believed him for a while until one day you heard a knock on your door. 

She was a beautiful redhead, legs for days, she could have been a supermodel. She greeted you like she knew you and said she needed to tell you something. Your heart dropped to your stomach knowing what was about to be said. You invited her in and offered her a seat on the couch nearby. She declined the seat, but told you that she had been sleeping with Eddie for about 6 months and he had told her that he had broken up with you. Eventually things didn't add up when she couldn't reach him for days or weeks. She started asking around and someone confirmed that you two were still together. 

She showed you Polaroids she had of them two to show she wasn't lying. She apologized profusely, said she wasn't that type of woman, and said she thought you needed to know what he was doing. You thanked her and walked her to the door and said goodbye. 

You had the sitter come get Evelyn for the rest of the day. You cried for hours until Eddie came home later that night. The two of you fought until the sun came up. He packed a bag and left. That would be the last time you shared a house as a family. 

That was three years ago and here you both were in the same house making out like it was the first time. Eddie had pushed you against the wall. His hand trailing up your shirt while the other gripped your waist. Your hands found their way to the long brown waves of Eddie's hair, a familiar place, lightly gripping at the roots. You can feel his bulge press into you. 

Eddie pulls back. "You want to do this in the bedroom, sweetheart?"

"Stop with the pet names, asshole!" You bite back while pulling his hair

"Mm I love it when you call me names, Y/N." He chuckled. 

"You're enjoying this, aren't you?"

Eddie nods. 

"Weirdo. And yes, let's go to the bedroom."

Eddie leads the way to the room you once shared with him. Each of you remove all of your clothing, you rather this than undressing each other, it seems less intimate. Eddie sits on the bed, stroking his hard cock, staring at your body in awe. You stand between his legs, lean down and crash your lips into his, tongues rolling over each other. His hands grip your round, firm ass. You let out a small moan into his mouth.

Eddie grabs the back of your thighs and drags you on top of him as he lays down on the bed. You sit up and sit back on his thighs, you take his hard member and stroke it gently. He's thick and veiny, uncut— just the way you like it. Eddie lets out a small moan while squeezing your thighs. 

"Where's the condom?" You tilt your head while looking at Eddie. 

"Uh, f-fuck. Princess, you can't ask me questions like that with my dick in your hand. Your touch is heaven sent."

You ignore what he called you, but you don't stop. You grip his cock harder. 

"Dammit! Uh, I-I put it on the nightstand." He groaned.

You reach over with your free hand and grab it. 

"Um, Sir! This is expired!" You shout. 

"What the hell? I grabbed it from the glove box in the car. You know I just got home from doing press, I haven't had time…wait where's your stash??" He retorts. 

"We used them the last time you were here!"

"Well sweetheart, I'm clean and I haven't been with anyone in a year. But let me take care of you."

Eddie reaches both his arms under you, grabs the back of your thighs and pulls you up to his face. 

"EDDIE!" You yelp.

He takes in a deep inhale of your scent. "Fuck, Y/N! You smell so fuckin good! 

He nuzzles your swollen, sensitive bud with his nose, making you gasp. He hooks his arms around your legs and anchors you down on his face. He licks a firm stripe from your dripping hole to your clit, making your hips buck. Eddie maneuvers his tongue up and around your wet folds. You find your fingers running through his soft, brown wavy hair. 

"Fuck, Eds! Your tongue…it feels…so good!" You cried out. 

Eddie feverishly flicks his tongue over your clit. You feel fire pooling in your lower abdomen as you rock back and forth on Eddie's face. He alternates between sucking and licking your clit. Your thighs tense up, all you can hear is white noise, letting out small whimpers as you dissolve into pleasure. 

Eddie taps your thigh three times.

You quickly roll off him and on to your side. "Sorry Eds." You breathed— realizing you're letting you wall down, slipping back into familiarity. 

" 's all good, beautiful. It would have been an honorable death." He grins with a mixture of spit and slick all over his face.

"Oh god, how would I explain that to the cops?!" You laughed.

You reach over to the night stand and get a couple of wipes to clean Eddie's face. You cup his face and wipe it clean. You lock eyes with him for a few moments. You decide to be a bit more personable than you were earlier. 

"Munson, what's on your mind? Let it out."

"I..Y/N…it's nothing. Don't worry about it." Eddie pauses and lets out a sigh with a slight smile. 

"I think I need to head to the penthouse. I'll be back around noon to pick up Evelyn, yeah?"

"You don't want to get off?"

"No, I'm good. I just wanted to make you feel good." He winks. 

"Well, I'll make sure to buy the bulk size condoms this weekend." You teased. 

You both search for your clothes and get dressed. You walk Eddie to the door, he places a gentle kiss on your forehead. Your hands find each other, barely touching, wanting to intertwine your fingers together. 

"Remember, noon tomorrow." He stated

"I'll have her ready for you." You nodded.

"Goodnight, Eddie. "

"Goodnight." 

Eddie made his way to his car and sat in your driveway for about twenty minutes going over the conversations he wanted to have tonight. He wishes he could have begged for you back. He wanted to bleed his heart out to you, apologize for hurting you, tell you that he's changed. He was unsure of your feelings, he was scared in those moments, the same scared boy you had met back in Hawkins. 

You shut the door and leaned against it. You wanted to open it and yell for him. You missed him, missed your family. You missed the pet names, his touch, and his sinful tongue. God couldn't have made something that filthy. But you remember the red head, all the calls and rumors of other women. You could never bring yourself to ask Eddie why you weren't enough, afraid of what he might say. 

You were brought up to be strong, not to let things like heartbreak ruin you. 'Chin up! Don't let them get the best of you! Dust yourself off!' You can hear your grandmother tell you as a kid. She was one tough bird and you needed her more than ever. 

You push off the door, wipe the tears away, and head to the bathroom to take a shower. After you get out of the shower and get dressed, you see a flashing light on your answering machine. You had two messages, you push play. 

'New message'

'Hey Y/N, it's Keanu. I'm back from filming and want to see you. Call me tomorrow, gorgeous.'

You could hear his smile and it made you giddy. You've been seeing Keanu casually, nothing serious due to his work. He knew about Eddie and what happened. He was more than fine that you had a daughter. He always included her when he sent gifts and asked about her. 

'New message'

The message is silent at first, then music starts. Your eyes widen when you recognize it. It's "I Was Made For Lovin' You" by Kiss. It was one of your favorite songs by them. One you would serenade horribly to Eddie every so often.

It was Eddie. His message left a lump in your throat. You missed him and wanted him, but you didn't want to be a doormat and end up getting hurt again. 

You let out a heavy sigh, crawled into bed, and went to sleep with a heavy heart. 

Divider @racingairplanes