#state of my brain today

[bigmoon-is-bigwife]

TR!Sneeg is such a fascinating character to me because he feels like a mess of contradictions and he's so different than people's first impressions of him.

Sneeg is the goofy and loud guy who makes fart jokes and can never take anything seriously. He's also incredibly smart and perceptive and can immediately tell when someone is trying to be manipulative. Sneeg knows all the techniques that people use to lie and manipulate and he can smell bullshit from a mile away. He also knows how to use those techniques himself but rarely chooses to. Sneeg is so good at controlling a conversation when he wants to that you don't even realize that he's doing it until after the fact. He often hides behind his jokes and sometimes you don't even realize that there is intent in how he goes about things. I still remember when Tubbo was bothering Ros and Sneeg casually got Tubbo to come to his mushroom island to look at his machines. He lead Tubbo through that conversation so naturally that I didn't even realize that it was intentional to get his focus off of Ros until afterwards. Tubbo never realized it either. It's not something Sneeg does often as he prefers the simplicity of honesty but he is very capable of manipulation and outsmarting people. He just also happens to be so outwardly goofy you forget and I think he prefers things that way.

Sneeg is also stubborn and quick to complain. You would think this would mean he would want things handed to him but Sneeg is an insanely dedicated worker. Sneeg is fueled by spite and and a drive to better himself that bleeds into obsession. He wants to earn things and by god he will. He'll spend hours and hours grinding levels and building his machines and he'll always be looking for new ways to improve things. You usually would equate stubbornness with an unwillingness to change but Sneeg is stubborn in the way that he simply doesn't give up. If there is a problem that needs to be solved he'll keep working at it until he figures it out, trying out different angles if he needs to. It'll drive him crazy until he figures it out. He complains a lot yes, but that is because when he sees flaws he has this compulsion to try and fix things and improve them.

Sneeg is also a distant and intimidating figure towards most of the server these days. He spends most of his time in solitude and getting stronger. What people don't realize is that Sneeg cares for others so deeply. He was the first one to sign the F.A.C.T.I.O.N. pact, the reason he hated Pili1 was because he couldn't stand a bully and he even helped other factions with their quests this week. Sneeg is one of the biggest advocates for peace on the server. He almost always tries to help people whenever he can and wants to be included so he can help more. All people need to do is ask and he will be there. He has such a guilt complex whenever he feels like he failed someone. When Ros was killed by Pili1 it haunted him. He was so upset with himself for not being there in time that it lead to him inventing the castle alarm system. When Aimsey died to a warden in front of him he felt partially responsible even when they insisted it wasn't his fault. Sneeg doesn't have many people he's close with on the server but the few he has he holds dearly. You can see it in the way he latched onto L.O.S.A. and declared them more important than even their shared faction. You can also see it in how quickly he and Aimsey have become friends and how he was ready to defend them against Tubbo without hesitation. Sneeg can come across as intimidating with his sarcasm and flat tone but he genuinely cares about people so much. He is kind and he wants others to be kind too. And he has an understanding that sometimes you need a gun to enforce that kindness.

[elvenbeard]

SO. While blorbo-modding I stumbled over something (that is probably known already but made me all giddy and validated in my cyberware headcanons rn xD).

I think it's a more-or-less popular hc that Kerry is deaf af and has some kind of hearing implants. And I always hc'ed the little golden pieces behind his ears as connected to that in a way (be it just fancy decorative covers for maintenance access for the hearing implants or actual touch-based volume control for example - to mute Kovachek whenever he's talking too much again, for example).

BUT NOW looking at the actual mesh and such in wkit it looks like the golden lines on the outside of his neck are actually supposed to be connected to the bits behind the ears (and I can't unsee it now aaahhh, but I also like the broken-up look). And like. I can see how that would happen, with the body and head/neck being separate parts and Kerry in general having some clipping going on here and there. But also, I've always been a little annoyed at the clipping bc it didn't make sense, why would this little part clip so weirdly in such a triangular shape when it's supposed to end right below his ear... well, cause it's not supposed to end there but actually continues?! What to make of this info now (and also, forever gonna be debating now if I want to "fix" this by restoring more of a look like in the left picture or editing the mesh to get more of the "vanilla" look with the gap between - cause I think otherwise it might clip with his lil music note thingy, which I'd be sad about xD).

But also, no matter what I do, I'm feeling so validated in the hearing aid headcanon that can be synced to a microphone for monitoring BUT intead adding on sth new: the hearing implant is directly connected to his voice box implant, making this whole piece of tech capable of built-in monitoring during concerts :3

[sag-dab-sar]

If you need to not watch, listen to, or read the news for the sake of your own mental health that is okay. You are not a bad person. Sustain yourself first.

[gordonsicedcoffee]

girl help I need to eat him for breakfast

[writingjourney]

remember what's really important in life: secondo emeritus

[icewindandboringhorror]

Some (late) holiday photos of the boye~!

[livingasaghost]

i bought into the :/ vibes of captive prince as well because for a long time i didn't care to look beyond what everyone else was saying about it and frankly i wasn't interested in reading the books but when i see readers saying we shouldn't read captive prince because it glorifies slavery and non-con while the same readers praise colleen hoover and fourth wing and the after series and every shitty dark romance mafia book... i am not saying captive prince is the greatest book series ever and i definitely was uncomfortable with parts of it (because i am definitely not as intellectual as others who read and analysed it) but there's so much worse books out there that get praised A Lot (and especially on booktok) and yeah idk where i am going with this sorry atsjdkf

SAY THAT!!!! like listen i get it, if you're into dark problematic shit kudos, because i looooove me some fucked up books but if you are pointing fingers while ALSO reading a different brand of problematic shit....maybe you're the problem! i feel like people who read books like captive prince or aftg are usually the first ones to analyze how fucked up they are, to think critically and engage with the darker parts of those series whereas a lot of colleen hoover stans on booktok just gloss over the abuse and toxicity because it's all about romance? (or supposedly about romance) like sure captive prince is a love story in the end, and aftg is kind of about a love story in its own way, but i think both of those stories are first and foremost about overcoming abuse and healing from trauma and learning how to trust other people in the wake of all that. the romance is just a wonderful addition to some complex series that allow you the space to exist in the gray areas of human nature.

[soviet-siscon]

I think part of my compartmentalising everything is how easy it is for me to slip between ideas like "my relationship with my brother" meaning very little to me and me just being a regular normal person and then when it's kinda a big crushing weight.

like honestly even most of the time "incest" is basically a meaningless word, like when you say snorkel too many times. it's sorta just watever. even for me and not just my host. like I go between caring so much and "normal" in a weird way.

maybe I'm not explaining myself well or i don't understand what i mean myself. it makes sense because I'm just in someone's head (allegedly) but it feels like the switch between me (julie) and me (someone else) is so incredibly stark than me being left behind and abandoned (metaphorically speaking) and forgotten seems almost inevitable once I (someone) "grow out of" all of this and just suddenly choose to stop caring again. like I'm being put back in the toybox and not even kept around for my occasionally salient point about patriarchy.

[lycankeyy]

Starting to think maybe I shoulddd. Have a mini break from socializing so much soon. Because my brain is doing the Scary Thing again

[doing-something-unholy]

Is it geologically probable for swallows rest to have basalt cliffs? Not really. Am i gonna headcanon it anyway? Of course.

Because I can picture Adrian and Victor walking along the beach, spending time waiting for lord vane to arrive. When all of a sudden Adrian comes to a dead stop in the middle of a sentence, staring at something ahead of them. Then he gasps, and gets so excited he forgets where he is, who he's with, and the collar around his neck, as he starts excitedly slapping Victor in the arm going, "Look, look, look, look--" at top speed.

Victor, who was primed for some kind of emergency since Adrian stopped talking is looking around frantically like, "What, what happened???"

Only for Adrian to point ahead and whisper-yell, "Basalt cliffs!!" And start booking it across the beach.

And yeah, maybe it painfully reminds Victor a lot of his younger self, and he's just about ready to remind Adrian of his manners as a priest, but then Adrian turns around to see if hes coming and the smile on his face is the most animated hes seen Adrian since he met him. And when he catches up he gets treated to a long winded ramble about crystal structure and volcanic activity and geologic hotspots and the Implications and how they could easily be the most ancient part of the island and erosion wear patterns and hes always wanted to see these in person cause they have them in northern ireland and and-- Its the most he's ever heard Adrian talk in one sitting.

And he supposes that having an appreciation for the wonders of the world that God made is perfectly acceptable for their profession, and lets him talk as long as likes.

[eowynstwin]

I spent the entire day washing all of my bedding, probably going to have an exterminator bomb the place anyway because I’m covered in bites but I haven’t found any bodies. I am so so so tired and stressed and tense and all I want this universe to give me for my trouble is the softest gentlest being cared for by price fic known to man

[figofswords]

the post grad why did i get an art degree what am i even doing what do i want in life where am i going crisis has finally hit i want to. lie down in the dirt. or something

[whereismyhat5678]

Idk about you guys but these little fuckers have been invading my head for like AGES BRO-

HELP ME I NEED TO SPRAY THEM WITH PESTICIDE- 😭😭/aff

[notasapleasure]

“Sssnnnwhufffffl? Hnwhuffl hhnnwfl hnfl hfl? Gdroblobblhobngbl gbl gl g g g g glbl. Drublhaflabhalflubhafgabhhafl fl fl - gm grawwwww grf grawf awfgm graw gm. Hovoplodok-doplodovok-plovodokot-doplodokosh? Splgraw fok fok splgrafthatchgabrlgabrl fok splfok! Zgra kra gka fok! Grof grawff gahf? Gombl mbl bl- blm plm, blm plm, blm plm, blp.”

—

The Loch Ness Monster’s Song, Edwin Morgan.

“The author explained in conversation that the lonely monster rises from the loch and looks round for the companions of his youth – prehistoric reptiles – and, finding nobody he knows, he descends again to the depths after a brief swearing session.  This was confirmed by a nine-year-old boy in a workshop, who said the monster was ‘looking for a diplodocus’.  When asked how he knew that, he said, ‘It says so.’  It does.”

(via the-library-and-step-on-it)

[moonchild-in-blue]

also. it should've been me in the glass heart pit. alas 💔

[gremzon]

I might have OCD actually