#and this state doesnt really respond well to reassurance because i think it. feeds into it almost?
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Starting to think maybe I shoulddd. Have a mini break from socializing so much soon. Because my brain is doing the Scary Thing again
#i dont know how to describe it and i especially dont know how to describe it in a way that doesnt sound Mildly Terrifying HDJAHD#but sometimes. i get like. rly in my brain. and i feel like im no longer a person and am just a robot waiting for commands from other people#like im fundamentally Nothing and my only purpose is what other people give me#and this state doesnt really respond well to reassurance because i think it. feeds into it almost?#like okay im going to take care of myself because someone else told me to. exclusively#i think it does me some good to have a couple days where im Forced to be self-reliant and not care abt other peoples input HDKQJDKW#just in case anyone was worrying this was some sort . self punishment isolation thing . honestly the opposite BDKWJDK#anyway probably not today. maybe tomorrow if i still feel like this#💛
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