#starved of normal nice interactions with people OUTSIDE !!!! OF WORK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[barghest-land]

it's always been difficult for me to make new friends, and now that i'm almost 30 it seems just impossible. unless it's a 40yo geologist i know. then it all goes back to the childhood method that always worked: "hey look at the cool rock i just found"

[weirdmageddon]

why i think aradia and john work so well

(with some stuff i’ve been wanting to yap about for ages)

have you guys ever given arajohn / johnradia (idk if its popular enough to even have a standardized ship name) any thought …? i know it seems kind of out of left field. i’ve considered it and i think its. really really good. i have a bunch of thoughts to unpack. come join me. and maybe grab a snack or something because i didn’t realize how much i'd actually have to say about this

(fantastic art by skeletood)

the other day i made a tweet that did rather well where i said, “john and aradia shouldve talked more. its so simple but i like how she actually earnestly answers his questions. so many characters in this comic are so mean to john for just wanting to know more give him a break”

putting it out there now im not big about shipping for the sake of shipping. there needs to be real chemistry. i need to sense that as a reason why two characters would potentially be a good influence on each other. i never knew why i was always so obstinate about this because it’s fictional and not materially hurting anyone, but i think it might be because i’m not sure how to justify it or explain it if not.

i strongly believe john and aradia would have had it made out for them if circumstances allowed it. (what i mean by “ship” or “johnradia” extends to any kind of interpersonal dynamic, even if just a good friendship. it doesnt even have to be romantic, just some sort of dynamic with them.)

unfortunately aradia originally committed herself to staying out of trolling the kids over their timelines, so john and aradia never talked until year 3 on the ship in the dream bubbles but they never had a truly proper one-on-one without outside meddling. i think if john knew aradia better and her story beforehand, she had more time to explain herself and her history, he wouldnt have been unsettled. and also of course if his experience with the trolls didn’t suck so bad because he already had expectations for how antagonizing most of them were.

i found people’s sentiments about johnradia elsewhere too. i remembered that they were both on the song art for ascend, and searched ao3 to see how many fics have been written to gauge how substaintial it’s been in the homestuck fandom. only 17 of them turned up. but the people who do talk about it are either curious about it or really do like it, and that interested me.

clearly it’s pretty niche character relationship to be depicted in any fanwork and i can understand why. despite being so small, from what ive seen it seems universally agreed upon to be nice. i haven’t seen a single person object to it. what ive seen falls into two categories: “wow i didnt think about this before but i actually dig it” or “(starving) finally some good fucking food”

the pattern im seeing is that people think it’s “random”, but i disagree. there is something there substantiating it even if they’re unable to articulate it.

the fanfic these comments are from is chronology of wind. that fic is really, really good, and sadly unfinished. i have more abstract reasons to believe why aradia and john would be good in theory, so actually seeing someone else actually make something with them helped me read it in action, to get a more tangible feel of the dynamic beyond what we have in canon.

i wouldn’t normally make claims about a relationship with regard to homestuck canon by looking at their relationship in a fanfic, because i think you all know by now i am very nitpicky about accurate characterization, and it does not go unnoticed by me when people get it right because for some reason it feels like a one in a million thing (even though it really shouldn’t be?). so this was a special case. the tone was completely consistent with canon. this fic is so in-character i’d basically consider it an extension of canon. to me it’s like they took the same characters and plopped them into this scenario to see how they’d interact. guys… i love that stuff so much. i love fanfiction or fanworks that depict realistic extensions of canon and stays true to the energy and tone of the source, but deepens it. there isn’t enough of it imo. i want to see more of it.

anyway, what i read of their conversations in that fic basically aligned with what i was thinking in my head about what i’d expect it to be like. i was able to compare how aradia and john talked to how aradia and the other characters interacted, their comparative attitudes towards each other—how they’re treated by others compared to how they treat each other.

have you noticed john and aradia’s communication values are both based on sincerity, being in the proper know, treating people fairly, and thanklessly taking on the necessary work that “must be done” in order to have what they really want — a good time that feels meaningful? and they accomplish this without any adjustment in how they talk to each other.

john is always subtly (or not-so-subtly) asking the people around him to answer him soberly and to the point so he knows whats going on and what that means for what his options are. he needs to know to what end he will be applying his absurd energetic drive into making shit happen. aradia honors his time before john can even become uncomfortable with the amount of time being eaten up by conversation. contrast this with rose, who seems to go on for a while with prose-like conversational adornments. in dire situations that need rapid explanation and definitive answers so he knows what to do, this is really the last thing he needs. aradia doesnt waste john’s time. she answers all his questions, and does it politely to boot. his time talking to her doesn't feel wasted.

john's impatience with this sort of nonsense is also why i can’t see something like dirkjohn working out, for example. to me it feels like @entropicbias also deeply understands this on some level because i literally couldn’t have demonstrated what i mean by it any better myself than that. i'm gonna have to to hit him up about how much i genuinely respect that like tbh hes one of the few i absolutely trust to handle writing and depicting these characters in situations and their interpersonal dynamics. and also care about doing their characterization justice as much as me.

of course people are still entitled to like whatever they like, ship whatever they want to. i dont care. but i just don’t think it would work from the perspective of the minds of the canon characters, how they generally think and approach situations. and i can already tell people might ask me how do i know this? what makes me an expert? i’m not more than anyone else is (although i have been called a "characterization expert" from my friends), but i do know that i can pick up on the energetic chemistry between people, including characters, honestly precognitively, without even thinking? like if it’s stiff or tense or awkward, if people aren’t free to express themselves uninhibitedly, if they feel unsafe or uncomfortable. i can sense this almost instantly. it’s something that’s a visceral feeling in my body i cant express and i have to rationalize it after the fact. like i’m doing now in fact writing this big analysis.

> listen to me talk about my special interest boy

for the next section to make sense, you probably want to read this post. i initially started writing it within this post to explain but there was so much brewing i had to explain the context that it turned into something i wanted to post on its own terms.

> okaaaaaayyyyy i read all that

thank you, really. my main point is using the conceptual tools provided by this system to expIain why aradia and john feel nice together and why i’ve seen people positively perceive the idea of a relationship between them even if it seems “random”.

framing them in this system, it wouldn’t be random! there’s a good reason they seem to fit nicely. this is because john and aradia have complementary forms of information metabolism. information metabolism is talked about in this section.

Jung’s psychic types are the types of cognition, or intelligence. But it would probably be easiest to call them types of IM [information metabolism], since the main difference between the types of people lies in their exchange of information with the external world.

Aushra Augusta, Commentary on Jung’s Typology and Introduction to Information Metabolism

aradia megido’s type of information metabolism (otherwise known as a TIM) is LII. john egbert’s TIM is ESE.

aradia and john’s types are duals. you can read more about what that entails here. in theory, their interactions would reflect the duality dynamic. reading chronology of wind, that one really in-character fic that explored their dynamic made me excited because they do!

michael pierce gave an overview of his impression of the characteristics of this intertype dynamic. despite only rough knowledge in socionics while he wrote this, his understanding of duality was spot on to me from my experience and others and i wanted to share it here. (fittingly, i believe he is also LII.)

Now we have the famous duality relationship: in a nutshell, this role is characterized by two traits: 1) a very close psychological distance or intimacy, and 2) a great ease of interacting with each other. It is sometimes described how meeting one's dual can be the event of a lifetime, because it inspires aspects in each party's character that they had never expressed before: the pair may even drop out of society for a time in order to focus on just each other, and to explore themselves through interaction with each other. The curious thing in this relationship is that these parties are rather different in outlook, and when they are not actually interacting as potential friends it's probably more likely for them to dislike or mistrust each other because of how different they are. […] However, when they are able to interact normally, it is a strange and wonderful discovery to realize that the interaction is unexpectedly smooth and invigorating. It's hard for people to describe, but as I understand it: while both parties recognize their differences on the surface, these differences are created by a root structure that coincides perfectly with each other, so that the differences on the surface are entirely complementary and cause no friction at all.

it’s also meaningful to consider that the structure of my own psyche is LII as well. so i’ve got a bit of a bias towards aradia and john.. not in the sense that what i actually say about them is personally biased, but that the bias is moreso my personal attention to people and characters of these two types in particular to see how my own experiences are reflected in them. i really do feel of a reflection of my own thought and work process in aradia and in the more abstract sense she is like an extension of myself. when people say they like aradia as a character i get secondhand joy from that because shares certain specific traits with me. of course i am still my own person though.

these are some of the most apt profiles i've found for these types at a glance. again, think about these characters as you read these descriptions. [from here (ESE / LII)]

ESE (Ethical-sensory extrovert) - john

The trademark quality of this type is a focus on socializing and guiding social situations and interactions so that the people involved can have fun and enjoy themselves. ESEs are typically in the middle of what is happening socially and know about the latest events and what people think and feel about them. They are skilled at bringing people together in fun and interesting ways and making everyone feel actively involved. Their friends know them as people who love life and feel most at home in social situations surrounded by other fun people. In their pursuit of fun-oriented and stimulating social interactions, ESEs typically neglect to structure their own thought processes and views in a way that would help them know exactly what they think and why. They are receptive to others’ attempts to help them introduce more structure and logical consistency in their life and thinking processes. They gravitate most to people who open up to fun and emotional interaction easily, yet are also skilled at systematizing thoughts and views and explaining ideological matters.

LII (Logical-intuitive introvert) - aradia

The trademark quality of this type is a focus on logical, structured thought and generating true assertions and views. LIIs are typically strict thinkers who are concerned that everything fits together in a logical way. They are skilled at understanding, generating, and criticizing logical arguments and instilling their views in the people around them. Their friends know them as people with well-organized thoughts and opinions who know what they think and can elucidate their ideas to others. In their pursuit of logical understanding, LIIs typically neglect their external social interactions and activities that would help them lighten up and experience a connection with other people. They are receptive to others’ attempts to create these fun and lighthearted situations for them. They gravitate most to people who are interested in their opinions and understanding of things, but are also skilled at organizing social interactions and creating a sense of emotional unity.

ive recently consciously experienced the feeling of duality for the first time since i've been communicating with my mom's high school classmate, and it is definitely a real thing. i even remember mom pointing out she noticed when we were all talking on the phone over a year ago that i perked up whenever he said stuff. here is how i explained it:

its bonkers how only once i experience something for myself i’m able to explain in detail what makes it so great based on what my impressions about it were because i tend to have a peculiar way of describing the qualities of an experience. my specialty is deep precision in my analogies for what it’s like. so now i can tell you how conversations with your dual feel… heres the status report. it’s weightless. its so strange. like the topic conversation stretches into infinity that you can pick right back up at any time. it’s hazy and unfocused but still pleasant (unless you’re particularly self-conscious and need to unlearn hiding your true self). but the best parts of it come when you have a specific issue or insecurity that comes with being your most natural self that the world seems to misunderstand about you, or just not give you what you don't even know you’ve been looking for. i think you might mutually intimidate each other at first because you're lowkey both expecting to be made fun of for your inadequacy with certain types of information that the other is nuanced with (and you’re not), but it never comes. you don't feel like what your dual wants in life is wrong. your dual seems so talented in all the ways you hope to shine but you’re always unsure of. for the introvert (me) wishing they felt their own active presence as an object (Se, Ne, Te, Fe) like the extravert does. for the extravert, wishing they felt their own relationships with other objects (Si, Ni, Ti, Fi) like the introvert does. any other intertype relationship (ITR) vs. duality is like the difference between 99% and 100% totality of a solar eclipse, except it’s the level of understanding with another person, like the eclipsing of your own information metabolism with theirs. of course there are other things that influence how well your relationship with this person goes, but i am talking strictly about when it comes to basic communication, the level of understanding you share. sometimes it might feel like you dont have much to talk about or the topic is unfocused, because you two ARE opposites in many ways after all, especially at a glance (domain of interests usually come with specific macroelements. theories about thought structures—like socionics, for instance—are in the domain of intuition, while physical interests and experiences are in the domain of sensorics.) i’m LII in the NT club (researchers) and my dual ESE in the SF club (social-communicative). so they’re constantly providing you with information from their own niche in life that you may be entirely unfamiliar with, but for some reason still interests and relaxes you to hear. you might not feel like you have a lot to say about the topic since but you are fully amazed by this person’s activity. it also makes you feel more sure of yourself and more confident that people truly appreciate and need your natural abilities.

> let’s break it down

here’s some lightly modified descriptions of the information blocks in LII and ESE's information metabolism models from pyatnitsky so you can get an overarching impression of how their type contributes to the informational sphere. i added some of my own adjustments and borrowed some sentences from stratiyevskaya's descriptions. additionally, you can click on the name of the block for an explanation of the role it plays.

i put about a week’s work into these collages but my goal with them was to actually show where i think these information blocks are most pertinent in these characters specifically and where they apply so it’s not just some abstract thing, just as supplementary examples as needed. (for the meaning of these information elements individually you can refer to cysia’s document.)

LII (Logical-intuitive introvert)

EGO (-Ti? -> -Ne!). Analytical thinking. They are well aware of the interrelationships of some objects or phenomena with others, and what laws are in effect or not in effect. On the basis of a comprehensive analysis, they put forward insights about the global essence of specific objects and phenomena, their possibilities. They acutely charge the situation with potential energy. For every situation, there is an archetype.

Super-EGO (-Fi? -> -Se!). Normative ideas about relationships between people and ways to get out of unpleasant ethical situations. Understands ethics as founded on the principles of fairness; to do to one side of the equation that you do to the other. Volitional manifestations in order to protect their living space are carried out only on the basis of personal experience. Because of the limited opportunities to fight back, they react painfully to attempts of any interference in his life. Does not respond to any arbitrary crudeness or volitional pressuring. Does not compromise goals, stubbornly clings to them. Avoids direct confrontation if possible, would rather talk civilly and earnestly. Uses their naturally strong sense of the conditioning of objects over time to avoid collisions with their material interests. Due to this, they may appear as someone with very little weaknesses.

Super-ID (+Fe -> +Si?) Attracts information about a good mood, a specific positive state, or a feeling. They would like to think that they can eliminate serious inconveniences, make the environment around them more comfortable. This skill needs to be evaluated. They are unconsciously activated when there is a need to make the environment more comfortable, which should lead to a better state, raise the mood at least in the immediate environment. In friendly, comfortable, and informal company, their cool exterior thaws and they start lighting up with joviality.

ID (+Te! → +Ni?). Has developed guidelines and methods that relate to specific practical activities, technological effectiveness, and resource use. Spontaneously feels the correct allocation of resources over time, which allows them to effectively solve tasks at an unhurried pace. This pace is deeply rational in nature.

ESE (Ethical-sensory extrovert)

EGO (+Fe! -> +Si?). Perception of the world is fundamentally emotional. Feels the emotional atmosphere well in any situation, knows the relevance of the way of expression, the place and weight (importance) of the internal state in each situation. Flexible approach to solving problems of managing and expressing emotions. They show bright emotionality both negative and positive. Creatively produces around themself comfort, coziness, conveniently arranges space, surrounds others with beautiful things, changing thereby the general condition and mood. Usually opinionated about their tastes.

(wow i really went all out on that this one that tumblr wont even display it in full resolution, so here. john just has so many more lines to choose from, sorry!)

Super-EGO (+Te! -> +Ni?). Practical and technological thinking is tightly based on acquired knowledge and patterns of solving similar problems. Methods of business activity in both general and specific areas are selected based on the opinion of reputable sources, or adjusted to one of the mastered templates. Predicting specific changes in the sphere of their interests is carried out only on the basis of personal experience. He is not able to compare his own method of forecasting with others, so he is sensitive to criticism of poor timing or deadlines, does not like situations that feel like a waste of his time; he is lost in connection with negative events. Guided by purely personal experience, he chooses specific times and deadlines for various tasks with a normative understanding of business activity in general.

Super-ID (-Ti? -> -Ne!). Attracts information about the order, specific logical relationships in the field of activity or interests. Needs someone to suggest specific ways to make connections between phenomena, patterns, and rules. Tries to be reasonable himself, even though he knows that this is not characteristic of him. Sometimes he openly talks of his actions that were poorly reasoned through, as if inviting other people to laugh at his thoughtlessness. The ordering and systematization of thought opens up a new way of understanding of events that are happening around him, as well as new prospects, potential, and capabilities. He likes to think that he understands the essence of a situation and lights up with new ideas. This skill needs to be evaluated. It is unconsciously activated when it is necessary to create order, clear consistency and clarity on a particular issue, especially if their abilities are recognized.

ID (-Fi? -> -Se!). Involuntarily keeps track of communications in their social circle. Without hesitation, they use a variety of ways to establish and maintain relationships that have been developed in his personal practice. Good relationships are important for personal inner confidence in a situation. To prevent unfavorable relationships, they are inclined, often without even realizing it, to act with pressure, forcing a showdown, forcing the partner to change the relationship for the better. Frequently demonstrates his resoluteness, persistence, and purposefulness, as if proposing his behavior as a model for imitation. Usually tells in much detail what obstacles were created before him, and how he overcame them, what he was told in response, and what he replied with, and so on and in the like.

(full res)

you might be able to see already how they would complement each other's thought process nicely. here are some descriptions of what the communication between these types is like:

+Fe! : program function of ESE and dual-seeking function of LII

The ESE periodically tells emotionally charged "program" function stories, telling of how somebody has acted and what they have done. The main orientation of ESE's leading ethical program is: "No one should be offended." The LII carefully listens to these statements, and, demonstrating a full understanding of these issues, develops logical basis for them, e.g. in calm persuasive voice he explains how the ESE has acted justly and fairly. The effusion of turbulent emotions coming from the ESE is counterbalanced by their absorption by the LII, who breaks them down into fragments by asking clarifying questions of the ESE.

-Ti? : dual-seeking function of ESE and program function of LII

The ESE is tuned to accepting information when it's relayed in clear logical form. He issues requests for logical explanations delivered from a point of view of generalized rules underpinning specific life events, which he receives from the LII, who delivers clear unambiguous interpretations, places the dots over all "i's", and demonstrates good understanding of problems that are of concern to the ESE. Not receiving information of this kind, the ESE begins making demands of those around him to be "intelligent" and understand the reasons of his actions.

-Ne! : activating function of ESE and creative function of LII

The ESE feels uncomfortable if he doesn't extend his help to people who are in need of it. His subconscious orientation is: "care and guard the talented", be kind and attentive towards other people. The LII usually meets such criteria by proving in action his aptitude at uncovering hidden capabilities, winning trust, passing on the knowledge. The ESE creates supportive conditions for people who are capable but lacking in assertive "push-through" qualities, among whom the LII finds himself, and a special work regime that protects such individuals from overloads on sensing functions. Newly discovered possibilities inspire and promote the pragmatic and business-oriented activities of the ESE. He can support a new undertaking or initiative with an enormous amount of energy and enthusiasm, light up by new ideas. Only the LII is able to, even having a vague general notion about the subject, construct a developed theory or idea of any issue. This theory shows to be promising in the process of its concrete application within its field.

+Si? : creative function of ESE and activating function of LII

LII tries to take care of their well-being, but may gravitate towards demonstrative asceticism, exhaust himself with work, studies, or exercise. The ESE periodically takes care of creating an environment that "charges" the LII with pleasant sensations: a reception of guests, a good meal, a visit to a theater or a concert, an interesting trip, and so on. At the same time the ESE takes pleasure in this himself.

+Te! : role function of ESE and observing function of LII

The role function of the ESE manifests as business-oriented activity and initiative, supplying interesting information, provision with material assistance to those who are in need, general restlessness and fussy busyness. This function is normative, i.e. the ESE seeks to comply with the norms and accepted ways of doing things. The nuancing of the understanding of these norms, i.e. introduction of activities that go beyond them, is possible only by considering LII's advice and recommendations. The LII serves as a director of this function, adjusting its workings by advocating the necessity of practical application of some beneficial ideas, rejection of useless though spectacular ideas, and the need to ensure standards of life not below average by rejection of equalization.

+Ni? : vulnerable function of ESE and demonstrative function of LII

The ESE poorly feels the flow of time, both physical, which manifests as running late and poor distribution of his strengths over time, and historical, which manifests as poor ability to anticipate consequences of actions and tendency for traditional ways of solving problems. The ESE finds it difficult to make radical choices. The LII fully takes this aspect onto his shoulders. He has an unconscious ability to distribute activities in time, thereby avoiding work stress and overloads, and is capable of making a radical choice. The LII is able to calmly wait and in the necessary moment get to work when the wasteful fussiness of the ESE reaches its critical point.

-Fi? : ignoring function of ESE and role function of LII

On this function the ESE gives advice and makes demands concerning the creation of appropriate psychological distances in form of proper behavior, courtesy and politeness, denouncing rudeness and boorishness. In this manner, the ESE adjusts LII's role function, which in itself contains a set of large psychological distances: a sullen stubborn look, unsociability, etc. With such fine-tuning it becomes easier for the LII to come into contact with people, whereby he becomes more animated, resolves many of his ethical problems that previously frightened him, gains greater insight into human relationships and a more accurate understanding as to whose side to take in situations of conflict.

-Se! : demonstrative function of ESE and vulnerable function of LII

The LII finds it very difficult to exert pressure on other people from his own will and initiative, especially in cases when he needs to attain something for himself. He finds this difficult to do - to press ahead in certain situations, to gather all the required paperwork, to stand in lines and queues, to petition for his own interests, even the ones that are of vital importance to him. He finds it difficult to push a person away, to sharply refuse someone, to quarrel loudly and defend his rights, to put an end to relations that have exhausted themselves. The ESE doesn't directly affect this function, i.e. he doesn't verbally criticize and teach the LII on this aspect, but takes over its functioning completely. The ESE exerts a constant, sometimes intrusive and imposing pressure on other people if there is a need to achieve something, to defend justice and demand fair treatment, to protect interests of those who are close and dear to him. The ESE goes to the right jurisdictions, inspires people around him and directs them towards work and purposeful activity, keeps up a high pace of life himself, and breaks off relations with those who don't deserve trust.

and some miscellaneous excerpts from literature i liked a lot. (i can't remember the sources i used since i've been working on this on and off, for the past week and i was just spilling things onto the post. i think stratiyevskaya?):

Mood - that’s what matters in this dyad - emotions and feelings. Anything that suppresses and overshadows good mood is considered unethical in this dyad and is strongly condemned.

The ESE does not allow the LII to limit him in the possibilities of consuming the amount of pleasures and joys, which he considers to be necessary and sufficient. Fortunately, both partners in the dyad - LII and ESE - are obstinate and unyielding. Both are demanding, unwilling (and not allowing anyone else) to lower the bar of their requirements, unable to give in and make concessions (especially in anything that is of principle for themselves). Both know how to make their partner reckon with their interests and insist on the fulfillment of their demands.

LII is impressed by the emotional generosity of ESE and his spiritual responsiveness. All this finds the deepest understanding in LII, since he is tuned to the same priorities and values. For his part, ESE admires the ability of LII to speak clearly and definitely on every issue. ESE is struck by the harmony of the reasoning of LII, the amazing clarity, accuracy and laconicism of his statements. To ESE it seems that for LII, there is nothing incomprehensible in this world; he can give a comprehensive explanation on every issue. And everything that ESE thought about before is gradually being built into a definite and clear system of views, which he can now very freely and naturally present. Confusion and chaos in his worldview gradually gives way to a stable logical order, as if someone patient and careful was sorting all his thoughts into shelves. Such clarity inspires and activates ESE; he begins to see some prospects for himself, new opportunities. His energy and activity, in addition to emotional and ethical expression, also receives sensory realization: ESE begins to take care of LII and carefully looks after him. If LII is a colleague with whom ESE is especially pleasant to communicate with, he begins to treat him with something tasty, homemade; will make some small, but beautiful and necessary gift (for example: new cologne or a warm scarf).

> okay that's great and all but when are we talking about john and aradia specifically?

yes, that was the point of this post. i just had to build all that up first so i could walk you through my thoughts in a fully substantiated way.

considering chronology of wind again, john doesnt realize it but he needs aradias frankness and insight. even if she’s unable to explicate on vague things, she states the reason why instead of making him feel stupid (it would create a doomed timeline) but thats all john needs to hear. she is self-effacing and only tells him the truth, and we know other people can take advantage of john’s suggestibility in this way. aradia tells john who is or isnt trustworthy, what actions would be useful/necessary and which ones wont, without any selfish personal motive a la vriska or terezi.

^ (juuuust the record my nitpicky ass doesn’t agree with the truth of the classpect interpretation on behalf of the author in the last bit BUT that is beside the point here. the point is that she is answering john’s question in a way that is meaningful for him)

aradia doesnt realize it but she needs john’s friendy goofiness to brighten her up because she is surrounded by people who antagonize her when she’s literally not even trying to get under anyones skin. everybody gets frustrated at her “spooky nonsense” because theyre afraid of their own mortality, basically telling her to put a lid on it because thinking about hard truths makes THEM personally uncomfortable. but to her it’s always just been a fact of life. plugging your ears to reality is ignorance, but at the same time that doesn’t mean there’s no meaning in anything. she wants to help people see this and she dedicates herself to becoming a psychopomp for the deceased and earnestly trying to make people feel emotionally and physically comfortable in their situation through exploring their memories.

john isn’t hostile towards her. by being herself she is immediately able to earn john’s trust when they initially talk. this is also true in canon; the one time they talked when john initially comes up to her, saying “can i ask you something? seem reasonable, and pretty nice.” unfortunately he asked her the one question she didn’t have much to say about, and i can’t blame him for expecting all the troll girls to be basically insane at that point. but i don’t think aradia is insane. yes she is odd, but i think it’s evident that she has a good head on her shoulders with knowledge of the way the universe around her works, and in the end wants to simply bask in watching it play out. i think she deserves to get childishly excited about it, especially considering she was dead for most of her developmental years.

aside from getting his answers answered, john shows curiosity about her and her species and even care about her well-being and state. this naturally comes from their conversation’s ebb and flow. aradia tells this straightforwardly, without bells and whistles and without trying to trick him, unlike the other trolls who seem keen on well..trolling him.. and providing him with unclear answers to those sorts things. maybe aside from vriska, but she did have a little bit of an attitude about it wherein her and john’s dynamic felt uneven or off-rhythm, with a large psychological distance. it’s a different feeling with aradia, however. they exchange information on the same rhythm and so are able to achieve a closer psychological distance in communication.

there are no judgments coming from aradia about john being “stupid”. she doesn’t underestimate him. it’s not just that john wants to understand (although he does), but he needs to understand what he is doing. aradia compliments john about the traits he possesses that allow him to be effective. i guess in a way i’m doing the same thing with john right now.

john is so mobile and strung along by being the action hero going from place to place as a can-do deliveryboy that he never has time to reflect on his losses, think through them, and accept them.

literally who else is more qualified in all of homestuck than aradia for talking to john about these things?

on top of all of this, they have objectively significant connections beyond just mutual self-realization in a way i think could've been fleshed out. there is potential here.

for a story, i can think of a way that a conversation between them could plausibly happen using the systems established in homestuck's mythology. in canon, we see that john never met aradia until year 3 on the golden battleship in the dream bubbles when he goes to sleep.

but john still dreamt out in the furthest ring. that means during those 3 years it was possible for john to have had a dream with her in it, or at least aradiabot. i know john didn't know aradia's name beforehand but let's just explore the possibility that they could have had met before that. remember that all these aradiabots were once this person.

aradia had obtained john's crosbytop, his dads hat, and his wallet quite a while before their sgrub session. theres your entry

imagine john seeing that

memories of dear old dad get stirred up through the link of seeing those items

the dream bubble transforms

john is forced to stand in his memories and explore grief and the meaning of life with aradia

physically being in the space around him would definitely help john reflect easier i think because it will force him to actually exist within the space and talk to someone, taking some time out for this. he wanted to know if anything could've been done or if he was just too late to save them. i know aradia would be able help him slow down and introspect. don't forget the opportunities created by the properties of these spaces that are glubbed out in the furthest ring by the horrorterrors that meld the labyrinthine time and space of their surroundings to the memories of the people and finding others through common points in memory. i would imagine that objects known by multiple people would provide a common point in memory to bring them together.

The bubbles allow the players of Sburb/Sgrub who have lost a life to continue dreaming. The reality constructed in the bubbles is a combination of the memories of everyone inside the bubble accessible to any who has learned the bubble's nature. According to Aradia, it would be quite difficult to exit a bubble to get into a new one, however someone inside a bubble can travel to another one through common points in memory, taking their own memories with them to be integrated into the new bubble. These memories mix and combine, but in general, no new memories are created. Additionally, the bubbles store the consciousness of a player who has lost their dream selves and their original selves, making them double as a form of afterlife; the player is then capable of accessing the memory of anyone else who has gained access to the bubbles. Living players, who have lost or become their dream selves, appear in the dream bubbles when they are asleep. It is in this fashion that the bubbles can be used as meeting places between the dead and the living; even those from alternate universes and doomed timelines can be found in a bubble. Furthermore, in addition to memories, the bubbles can to some extent reflect the thoughts of a player. Beyond that, the bubbles can also behave similarly to Skaia's clouds, showing things that are in some way relevant to the player - such as when coin-flip Dave saw alpha Dave grieving over Bro's corpse - something he was not aware of before being shown it by a bubble.

physically reflect the thoughts of the player…… rubs hands

john and aradia share points in memory related to those objects, and to top it all of they are directly related to john's dad on the same day he died, while aradia grew up with them as bizarre alien artifacts from an archeological dig. the memories are more emotionally charged for john, and i think that distinction would probably be relevant to them both.

to be honest i think after speaking with him for a bit she would readily tell john that she regrets not talking to the kids from the universe her team created sooner before she died, but is glad that she can in the afterlife. in canon, alpha aradia told a doomed dave, "i think its absurd i never introduced myself to you in all that time i spent moping around the lab. guess i wasnt in a very good mood".

now not all the aradiabots would know who john is, because the trolls only found out about the humans once they created the genesis frog and hid out in the lab in the veil from jack who infiltrated their session. the aradiabot in the lab was the last one that survived. so if any one of them would know who john is, it would be the aradiabot that exploded. aradia's dream self ascended to god tier in jack noir's rampage on trolls' derse and took those memories with her which we can assume is what made the last aradiabot explode. its known that any original copy that dies when another rises up becomes a ghost and lives on in the dream bubbles, which would include her. a doomed aradiabot we see in the comic, which was the one that originally landed to alternia in the past, becomes more lighthearted after she dies, a bit more like her alive counterpart.

oh yeah, and the more obvious surface-level connections to top it off? ghostbusters? john ain't afraid of no ghost girl. john would be genuinely interested in what aradia living as a ghost irl on her planet and not as a gaming abstraction in the furthest ring would be like. i imagine she would be able to explain the subjective experience and that she had to prototype herself into the kernelsprite order for her server player to see her. there's also no way john hasn't seen a movie as classic as indiana jones and judging from her poster i can imagine he probably thinks it's sweet that aradia's strife specibus whipkind is a reflection of her own personal tastes, interests and hobbies.

so yeah i've just been chewing on all of this and thinking about it but i know i needed to just get this out there somehow. obviously since i spent two weeks putting this post together i'd be happy to hear your thoughts

[thefishesbite]

Diary entry: 10/29/2024 || Depression season

My depression is coming back. My mental health is worsening. I don’t know why I had this sudden tonal switch with my feelings, but I can’t seem to shake it. Normally, I fight depression by going outside and hanging around friends– somehow, even doing that, I’ve doomed myself to another bout of depression. I leave my house every day, other than Sundays, and am always on the phone with friends– so even if I don’t see them physically all day, I’m always talking with them. Normally, even doing something as simple as leaving my room for two hours every day would save me from a depression slump– but even with me leaving the house completely for hours on end (either for school or to hang out with friends, sometimes both) and always interacting with people, my depression has begun to consume me.

Recently, I’ve been unable to sleep well. Each night I’ve stayed up, scrolling mindlessly while lying to my friends that I’m going to bed soon. I’ve spent hours rolling around in my covers, mindlessly rotting away in my own body in hopes of not falling asleep. I didn’t want the entertainment to end, to have to wake up early in the morning– a difficult task, worsened by the fact that I have recently begun to take showers before school starts. On the same hand, I’ve begun to sleep in as late as possible– trying to cling to any unconsciousness I could. Born from a fear of what's to come if I wake up and wanting to stay asleep forever so that I don't have to see the day. I’ve begun to take baths every other day, instead of everyday, mostly doing so because I have to. If I could, I would stay unshowered forever– since waking up early is exhausting. I don’t wanna face the day so I’d rather be a mindless zombie or asleep. I just can’t stand being a functional human being anymore, but I try my best to stay functional for the purpose of friends, family and school.

I’m also struggling to do school work. I’m so mentally and physically exhausted that I’m struggling to do work. I’ve been spending more and more time at school scrolling, even though I’m always carrying a book, because work and reading are too exhausting. I’m keeping up, finding time to do work even if I don’t want to, but I’m no longer as ahead of the curve as I once was. I’m trying to force myself back into how I was before, but I just can’t do it yet. I used to work at every possible second, leading to me finishing work easily and quickly– now I do it when I feel like it, which is not as often as I would hope. I have more assignments piled up than I used to. I’m keeping up but I still feel like a failure.

My already horrible eating habits are at risk of getting even worse now too. I’ve begun to get too embarrassed to eat, or even mention to someone that I’m hungry, so I’m sitting around with an empty stomach. I’ve been watching calories for no reason, portioning food smaller than it needs to be and refusing to eat out right. My friends have shown concern a lot, but I feel so embarrassed eating– even if they ask me to eat. I’m too embarrassed and anxious– I can’t seem fat around them, so I try to limit eating (even if everyones eating). One time, I ate some fries and a milkshake– in response, ate breakfast the next morning then starved for 24 hours. I only ate three meals in two days– one of which I was forced to eat. I can’t imagine myself eating. It’s beginning to feel nice to starve myself again.

I’m also increasingly emotional. Today I got angry at a friend for not caring for himself (I think I was jealous because he was willingly not taking care of himself while I just can’t) then got sad– which happens every time I get angry, even if for something trivial. When I get mad, I go from a high of anger to a low of sadness. The sadness stuck around for two hours. I cried today because we had an argument about it. The last few days I’ve been easily irritated, easily saddened, just easily emotional in general. I shouldn’t be swinging this violently, from one extreme to the next– but something is happening with my mental health and I can’t control it. I’m trying to control my actions, though. Even then, I’ve lashed out more often. When someone irritates me, I used to be able to ignore it– at least mostly– but I’ve begun yelling more often in response to my anger.

I’ve been struggling to even get out of bed. I have issues doing important things like plugging in my computer for school, putting my lunch container in the sink and even drinking water. I can’t peel myself away from the covers, too comfortable doing nothing to actually move. I can barely move sometimes, forced to inch myself up because I’m struggling mentally. I have to force myself up, though it’s becoming less and less successful. My bed’s so comfortable and I’m so tired. I can’t bother to get up.

On phone calls with my friends, I used to pay a lot of attention to what people were saying or doing (if they were streaming them playing a video game or something). Now, I end up doom scrolling because I’m becoming increasingly uninterested. I’ve begun to find calls exhausting, even if I’m just sitting in silence scrolling as someone plays a video game in the background. I can’t even find as much joy in talking with people as I did. But, I can’t leave because I'm worried I’m missing out on something fun. On something interesting. So I stay, doom scroll and work myself up into another exhaustion slump. I don’t even talk. I don’t even interact. The call is nothing but background noise. I can’t miss it anyways.

[yandere-kokeshi]

Yandere Ejiro Kirishima / Red Riot Headcanons

Warnings: Cursing, stalking mentions/actions, killing mention/actions, black mailing mention/actions.

Author Note: This was supposed to be posted before my Hawks headcanons but I got writing block, also, there may be some spelling mistakes. I couldn't find the time to fix them, plus Kloe is sick. Stay hydrated!

Ejiro Kirishima, also known as Red Riot is posted as a man, someone who is strong and devoted to never stopping at anything. He loves helping people, including hugging young children, and posing for photos and videos for his fans to save.

Ejiro would fall for someone who is gentle, caring, and almost like a parent-figure to others: one that was always sweet, especially smelled wonderful, and was always willing to do the right thing. He would immediately latch on like a mosquito, seeing you being so nice, gentle to kids, and owning a small shop made his heart explode. Before you could even leave to move on with your day, you’re approached by the Red Riot and his gentle smile (and maybe his intimidating height, he is 6’7”).

He would try to do everything in his power to hang out with you, even if it was a small interaction. This would also include him stalking you, almost like his life depended on it. He would take pictures of you doing anything: going to the store, laughing while eating dinner with your friend, showering, and sleeping. This is just the normal example of the many, many pictures he has of you.

Kirishima would rather not kill anyone, but scare them away if he deems them as a threat to your ‘relationship’. He will black mail them, finding some information that they wouldn’t want to destroy their reputation. However, if they don’t stand down, he will kill them in the most brutal way.

Kirishima is so delusional with you that he believes you two were meant to be, including being in a relationship. Before you are friends for a good two (2) weeks, he is already shopping for wedding rings, a honeymoon, and a beautiful dress you’ll wear for the important day.

Kirishima is the king of guilt-tripping and manipulating. He will sabotage any relationships he deems as a threat, whether he believes someone is falling for you, flirting, or in some way trying to steal you away from him, he will come up with excuses for their ‘villainous actions’. He will show you messages of them falling for someone else, being villains, or hell; doing something behind your back. He’s always there, hugging you (and purring) while whispering sweet nothings into your ear, ‘Clearly, everyone is not what they say. Please love me baby, I won’t lie or leave you’. Once you’re under his trap, he’ll ask you to ‘move in with him’ so he can ‘keep an eye on you’.

He would slowly but surely stop you from leaving the shared apartment. He would beg you to stay home, throwing excuses on how a dangerous villain is on the loose and he’s terrified that they might hurt you. Slowly, you’ll stop working at your work but instead at home; but of course, Kirishima is there, begging you to stop working yourself out and that you should quit so he can take care of you.

Soon, you’d beg him to go outside, but of course; ‘Baby, you know you can’t. It’s too dangerous- hun, maybe for your birthday we can- kay? Love you so much.’

He never locks you up, more so scares you with his height if you decide to ‘hurt him’ or ‘break the rules’. Due to him being so delusional with you, he never ever gets mad at you if you decide to break his rules. He figures you want attention, or that you must be in pain and don’t want to bother him due to him working all the time.

Kirshima’s affection is very well noted. We’ve all seen how he is with Denki and Bakubro; he’s touch-starved, literally hugging you any chance he gets. He tends to pick you up, throwing you over his shoulder as he walks you towards your shared bedroom. He loves kissing you, specifically on your soft lips and neck, maybe leaving some bites as he hugs you from behind. He reminds you daily that he’s yours as much as your his.

Kirishima’s yandere behaviors contain a lot of obsessive, delusional, overprotective, and of course; manipulation and guilt-tripping. He practically would kiss your legs if you asked him, he loves you so much. The way he shows his affection is by being physically, verbal, and giving gifts.

The gifts you will receive are much like the other pro-heroes; he will buy you whatever you like, whether that’s where you love gaming, dancing, or drawing. He will buy you as much as you like, the only thing he expects is for you to show him how much you love him.

This also goes the same with spoiling you. If you want a phone, he will allow you to have a phone but it will have a time limit for (8 hours or longer depending how long he works(?)) how long he shows, once he’s home; he expects you to have full attention on him, I mean. He does everything for you, all he wants is your love and attention.

In the end, Kirishima and you will be posted as a ‘perfect couple’.

—

Masterlist | Requests are open!

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED ©yandere-kokeshi

Do not plagiarize, repost, modify, translate or copy my work.

[makeitagood0neao3]

Safe Inside

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Word Count: 2,754

Warnings: Non/con. Explicit sexual content. Dark!Peter Parker AU. 18+ only!

The knock on your apartment door couldn't have come soon enough. After a long, tiring day working virtually, all you wanted was your take out, likely still warm from the restaurant downtown. Hair in a messy bun, long shirt covering a pair of shorts you padded to the door. Looking through the peephole, just to be safe. You couldn’t be too careful nowadays.

You opened the door to see your usual delivery guy standing before you, grey Supreme hoodie beneath a black coat, the hood pulled over his head. In his hand were the handles of a plastic bag as he balanced a soda on top of it.

“Greek delivery for a pretty lady in apartment 410?” He asked, barely able to contain his smile.

“Hey Pete,” you greeted, matching his energy. “I just Venmo’d you.”

“You better not have included a tip, Y/N.” Peter handed over the soda and bag before grabbing his phone from his pocket to check for the transaction. “I told you to stop tipping me.”

“I know you did,” you answered smuggly. “But you deserve a tip when you give me life by baklava.” He smiles back before peering into the apartment behind you. He was always doing that; checking, observing. You only ever ordered dinner for one, but that didn’t stop him from being curious. Not one to easily trust, you know the little world you built can be easily destroyed if you let the wrong person in.

He never asked if you were seeing someone or overstepped. The most flirting you had done with this younger man was to tell him that if he got straight A’s this semester at the university, you’d invite him inside for a drink. 

“Yeah, yeah. I appreciate you. I gotta run, but I’ll text you.” He waved and made his way down the hall.

Using your foot to kick your door closed you locked it with your free hand and set the food down on the counter. Setting your Spotify playlist to shuffle on 80’s rock before digging in at your tiny dining room table that barely fits in your small apartment.

You met Peter on a whim. Never one to plan meals out in advance, you were often left to starve or eat cereal for dinner after working. Never one to leave your apartment when it was dark out, you settled for having dinner delivered. Peter was delivery guy on a food delivery app and learned your dinner routine and favorites quickly. Which was surprising, because you couldn’t possibly be the only person in Queens ordering take out every other night.

And he couldn’t be the only delivery guy around, but he somehow became your usual delivery guy and you, his regular. Usually one to get chips as a side at a nearby deli, you didn’t order any one evening. He messaged you No chips tonight?

It surprised you, but you brushed it off, telling him you were cutting back on junk food. He dropped off the meal at your door with a knock, but by the time you opened it, he was gone. Sitting at the top of the paper bag was a bag of your favorite chips.

Always one to drop off your food quickly and not stay to chat, you caught him one night to thank him and tip in cash. Since then, you two would talk in your doorway briefly, mostly keeping your friendship to text as you were both busy. After a year of limited in person social interaction, any casual conversation over your threshold was greatly accepted. One day soon you’d venture outside, but with the availability to have nearly everything delivered, you doubted that day would come soon. You just weren’t ready.

Soon you ditched the app and just text him when you wanted dinner and he dropped it off to you. The price for you didn’t change, but gave him some extra. You honestly didn’t know why he chose to deliver food; he was always dressed extremely nicely in name brand clothes and you later found out he has a lucrative position at Stark Industries.

Once you had asked him why he chose to do this, in the literal rain and snow, and he told you that it was something to do. He got bored often and it was better than sitting in a lab all night. He made it seem like he did this for several people, but you didn’t see how he had the time to.

In the middle of scrolling on your phone, there’s a slow delay in registering what you’re seeing. Shaking your head and blinking hard, the sensation didn’t go away. Your body seemed to relax as a deep buzz set in and your body movements sluggish. Bringing the fork up to your mouth for another bite, you missed completely, the rice pilaf dropping onto the table. You tried for another bite and this time succeeded.

Are you... high?

You tasted the mineral chalkiness before you noticed the white powder poorly mixed into your rice pilaf. Brain fuzzy, you tried to analyze the substance. Thinking it strange, you drank from your take out cup of soda to wash it down. It became harder to swallow each sip, but you had already finished half the meal.

A knock at your door echoes through the wood. Each footstep towards the door bounces between your ears. Struggling with the lock, you finally got it open, your legs almost numb and your arms heavy. On the other side of the threshold stands Peter, his hood over his head, eyes assessing you through his lashes as his head angles down.

“Pete?” 

You feel his arms around you before the whoosh registers in your head. Blinking hard, you are lying on your back, limbs heavy. Some time must have passed, but you can’t be sure.

“I’ve got you,” he whispered from above you. “I think I gave you too much.”

Struggling to keep your eyes open, a shiver blankets your skin. You let out a whine when your tongue refuses to curl with your words. It lies heavy, your jaw loose as you slur out questions.

“Peter?” You try again. Your question is slurred and there’s a pitched whine to your voice.

“Shhh, this is for your own good.”

“Mmph” you mumble, unsure if you actually feel hurt right now at this moment. Your movements are heavy and slow, like running through water. Your back is against something soft that smells like your fabric softener. Your bed. When did you get here?

“I’ve wanted you for so long. Now I can finally have you.” His hands seem to be frantic as he pulls your shorts from your hips and down your thighs before discarding them. Is he frantic or is this normal speed? His coat is gone and he pulls his hoodie over his head, his shirt stuck inside it. He’s next to you a fraction of a moment later

His warm hands graze your hips as he pulls the oversized shirt off of you, the crack of static electricity sparking from your hair as it's pulled through the collar in your ears. His hand gently rests your head back down on the pillow. You whine again and try to cover your bare chest with your small hands. He notices and pulls them away. 

“You’re so beautiful,” he reassures, mistaking your modesty for insecurity. He’s lying on top of you now, chest to chest. The heat of his bare skin as he presses into you, his hands tracing the shape of your waist and hips. He seems to be mesmerized.

“We can’t-” you want to scream, but even you aren’t sure your thoughts matched what came out of your mouth. Your hands try to push him off of you, but he’s too solid, too in control. When that doesn’t work, you slap his chest, but you don’t really feel the impact on your palm. You’re too numb. He grabs your wrist.

“I don’t use my hands to harm and you won’t either.” He says this firmly, eyes locked on yours, but follows up with, “Behave or I’ll have to tie you up so you don’t hurt yourself.” The latter comes out softer, more timid like the Peter you know.

His head dips down as he places sloppy, unpracticed open mouth kisses on your neck and shoulder. Quickly this turns into full sucking. You angle your chin to the side, scanning your nightstand for something, anything to help you. You eye a book, hardcover, heavy hand reaching up to grab for it. Maybe you can hit him hard enough to buy time.

Peter catches your movement and lets out an irritated, though shaky, sigh as it leaves his lips. “What did I say?”

He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small, silver device. He grabs both of your arms and places each palm on an iron bar on the headboard before a white, sticky, material shoots from it and seals your hands to it. You pull, but they don’t budge. He tosses it aside and slides down your body as you fight against your restraints.

The cool air brushes against you where your panties were. Vision unfocused, try to reconcile the split image of him and merge it into one. It’s dim in here, but it looks like he has your panties in his fingers as he tosses them aside. He lowers himself to his forearms, eyes never leaving your face. Or you think he’s looking at your face.

His nose brushes against your slit, tentatively, as you flinch. Your tongue is motionless in your mouth, but feels swollen, like it will suffocate you. All the things you want to say are being swallowed in your constricted throat.

His tongue pokes out as you manage to shake your head a fraction bit side to side. It probes your folds, uncertain. It takes him a few attempts, but he seems to find a technique he likes. The flat of his tongue swiping up as he breaks eye contact and his eyes roll back, indulged in the taste of you.

The sight of him enthralled in your most delicate region forces a squeak from you. His eyes snap open and his hands grip your hips a bit harder as he dives his mouth onto you. Seemingly encouraged by your noises and movements.

“You taste so good, baby.” He says, breathless, before he dives back in. Suddenly, his mouth finds your clit and he flicks his tongue against it hard. It’s too much pressure and it has you wriggling, brow furrowed.

He seems to notice this, because he modifies and begins sucking on your clit instead. A shock wave is sent through you, your hips angle up to meet his mouth eagerly. Taking this as a sign to continue, he inserts two fingers inside you, stretching your hole.

Quivering, you try to fight off the orgasm building, thighs clenching his head. He seems superhuman as his fingers never cease their rhythmic curling inside you and his mouth sucks the life from you. Whatever he gave you makes it impossible for you to take deep breaths and the orgasm that drenches your body in sweat steals the air from your lungs. He slows his motions as you ride his fingers and mouth before slowly removing both from you.

He seems proud of himself as he says, “I’ve always wanted to do that to you.” It’s almost endearing, but then you remember you’re drugged and bound.

Stalking you like the prey you are, he crawls up your body and slides his pants and briefs off his hips. He’s already hard as you try to focus your vision on him. Unable to tell how thick he is, you wonder if it will hurt. Perhaps if he caused you pain, your body would snap and find the adrenaline you need to get away. You pull against the bars again, hoping to break free. In the very least, your head lulls side to side in protest.

“I didn’t bring a condom, but we don’t need to worry about that. I’ll always take care of you.” He says, his forearm resting next to your head while his other hand reaches down, lining himself up with you. He pushes forward, breaching your entrance. Removing his hand, it moves to cup your head in his hand, sound muffled as he presses his palm hard against your skull.

Unable to move your head as he cradles it, your eyes flutter, unable to make him out clearly. His eyes penetrate yours, his eyes a deeper brown than you noticed before. His lips are parted as he catches his breath.

He slowly pushes forward, inch by inch. Your wet channel stretches and forms to him as he slips inside you. Despite the heaviness in your limbs and numbing to your skin, you can feel how your body accommodates him. The feeling of him is amplified by his heavy breathing in your ear as he pulls back and slams back into you.

“Fuck, you’re tight.” You try to tune him out, the only thing you really focus on is the wet sound of your slick as he draws more from you. Your body operates on sensation alone and all you can feel is him. He finds a rhythm that seems inhumanly fast as his hips push yours into the mattress harder and harder. 

He presses his chest against yours again and you can’t tell whose body temperature is higher. The desire within you builds. Fighting through the haze, you cry out, spine arching off the bed. The fabric is damp beneath your hips and you wish you could be embarrassed by it.

Both of your breaths grow louder, more frantic. On particular thrusts when he tilts his hips. the tick of his cock angles up to hit your g spot, you let out a moan. Encouraged by this, the corner of his mouth lifts into a cocky smile.

“Louder, baby.” He commands breathlessly, seeming to find his courage.

He lifts his chest from yours and kneels, his hands lifting your hips up with him, your ass no longer on the bed. Grabbing for your ankles, hooking your heels over his brawny shoulders, he slams back into you. His forearm wraps around your shins, holding them in place while his opposite fingers find your sensitive clit. Letting out breathless gasps, you can’t catch your breath or restrain your vocal cords. He continues plowing into you, fingers rubbing diagonally, frantically, against you.

“Come for me, Y/N. Soak my cock.” Something about this version of Peter, this feral side of the sweet delivery guy you thought you knew, makes you come again. Eyes rolling back, your lids closing as his hips become frantic. He squeezes your legs like a lifeline as he comes inside you, a loud grunt from above you.

He pulls out of you and lowers your hips to the bed. The euphoria sets in and your taught muscles relax into the bed. Leaning over you and he connects his nose with yours as he catches his breath. You’re both hot, a thin layer of sweat over your skin, but that could be from whatever he gave you. Your shoulders are stiff and you try to tug again on the headboard.

“Oh,” he chuckles, “those will dissolve soon.”

Abruptly, he gets up, wiping his cock against the inside of your panties, before he slips them back on and settles them on your hips. His come drips out of you and into the panties, keeping you wet and reminded of him. How did this happen? You never let anyone inside the safety of your home.

Moments pass as you process this. Faintly, you hear his feet on the carpet before he’s back in your room, sipping on the soda he brought you.

“Thirsty?” He asks and angles the straw to your mouth.

“My shoulders hurt,” you murmur out.

“Then next time don’t fight me. I think you understand that now, don’t you?”

Even without touching you, he is still inside of you. There is a faint pulsing from your clit that radiates down to the soles of your feet. Rhythmic and matches your pulse as you come down. Your arms and thighs goosebump from the chill in the air and you can feel the balloon in your head deflate. But you’re still unable to respond to him so you lie there, surrendering to his power over you. 

[vermillionbones]

I'd love to hear more of your Phobditor HCs!!

ohoho thank you for enabling me anon i am going to kiss you directly on the mouth /pl

also slight warning for spoilers to the new(??) ending of project nexus!! i don't talk explicitly about what happens in general, but the stuff involving phobos is mentioned in the very first hc so for those of you who don't wanna be spoiled you can just skip that one lol. grab sum popcorn lads this one's a long one snbcnkcnvmv

Phobditor HCs!!

rbs very much appreciated 👉👈

---------------

so i hc that phobos didn't actually get banished at the end of MPN, but he did get his ass handed to him to the point where he was so injured and drained of energy that he couldn't use most of his abilities. he went into hiding for a while and eventually found the AAHW, which he proceeded to join since he didn't really have anywhere else to go. after he'd healed and returned to his full strengh the auditor recognised how potentially useful he could be as a second in command, but ofc he'd have to earn her trust first. normally i don't try to make things make sense like this but since the auditor isn't actually in MPN i thought i'd at least try lmao

the auditor: ruthless girlboss by day, feral spouse-adjacent shithead by night

phobos is basically the same but instead he's manipulate mansplain by day and malewife manwhore by night /hj

before they got closer they'd never really physically interacted w/ each other, so phobos kind of assumed the auditor would be at least slightly painful to touch [cuz yknow. she's made of fire lmao]. plus he'd witnessed her setting things and people on fire with her bare hands before and he'd rather not get turned into a walking bonfire, thanks. the closest she'd ever been to touching him previously was like flicking the antenna on his helmet to piss him off

but like way, WAY later he finds out that audi can actually manipulate the temperature of their flames to an extent, so when they touch his hand for the first time he's really surprised when they're just like. pleasantly warm. kinda like the fuzziness you feel after you drink something hot but on the outside of your body

however this has also resulted in phobos using her as a mobile safety blanket lmao. sometimes if it gets too cold in the office he'll wander up to her and bug her until she folds a wing around him and tucks his head under her chin

when he's being a shithead sometimes she'll just pick him up by the back of his jacket and drag him off like a disobedient kitten lmao

They don't really have a super crazy height difference normally [i hc that audi is around 6'3 and phobos is 5'10 if he's not slouching] but sometimes she just morphs herself to have a several-foot height advantage just to fuck with him. like she'll appear in his office as this 9-foot-tall behemoth and he'll just be like "?? excuse me?? ma'am?? you can't do this to me???"

before he got to know her better, phobos had no idea the auditor preferred she/they pronouns over they/it like the agents around him seemed to think. he never made a big deal out of it and never explicitly brought it up, but he remembers to switch it up for her every now and then. plus whenever audi overhears him doing that she gets all fuzzy inside sfbfnckvj

phobos really likes her wings. he actually might be a little jealous of them, but he'd never tell her that sfvngk

ever since audi found out about this, they tend to subtly unfurl them and use them to gesticulate more when he's around. occasionally she'll use the claws at the peaks of her wings on touchscreens in place of a finger n stuff. she's also [gently] swatted him upside the head with a wing a few times when he was being a dickhead, but it doesn't really hurt him lol

she also lets him pet them when they're not busy. contrary to what he'd assumed, it doesn't actually feel like a whole lot to her - she's described the feeling as something similar to how it feels to have someone tracing their fingers along the back of your hand

phobos stims sometimes!! he has a bad habit of masking while he's working since a few of them are vocal and he doesn't want to distract anyone, but if he's just hanging out with audi he's totally chill. one of his more common ones is when he thinks out loud, either quietly narrating his current train of thought or saying unrelated words - usually confirmations like 'yeah' or 'mhm' - out loud cuz he thinks they're fun to say. occasionally he'll start humming low in his throat kinda like a microwave cuz he likes how his voice feels in his chest

also when he's standing idle sometimes he holds his arms closer to his chest and fidget with them

the auditor doesn't stim, but to people who know them well their wings are like big signs that can wordlessly describe how they're feeling [which is like my favourite thing to write cos wing emoting is really fun skdjbknk]. occasionally they might subtly flutter their wings when they're very pleased or receive good news, or flare them out when they're irritated/stressed

i always forget that phobos is actually like super powerful in canon so i hc that audi does too lmao. like it always slips her mind that he can teleport too so she'll dramatically disappear after telling him off for doing some dumb shit and fuckin scream when he somehow appears in the same room as her less than a second later

phobos has a red and black lava lamp in his office!! he'd never admit it but he got it cuz it reminds him of audi :]

phobos loves watching audi in combat for some reason. i mean he already likes watching them do stuff so he can backseat drive, but he's also quietly admitted that her fighting style is interesting to watch

he can't really put it into words, but it's because the way they fight looks incredibly effortless and fluid, mainly due to them having so much time to adapt to and understand their powers [both their original powers and the ones granted by the halo]. when phobos' own abilities started to surface he was incredibly unstable and struggled to properly harness them for months, so he thinks it's nice to watch someone who actually knows what they're doing for once.

much to the auditor's surprise, phobos is actually a bit insecure behind all that confudence, particularly about scars. after being close to her for a while, phobos came out of his shell a bit and explained how he managed to grant himself his powers/abilities, which is something i'll absolutely go further in depth with later [via a longer hc that i'm gonna post eventually lol] but to summarise he basically infused himself with raw madness in what he's eloquently dubbed 'the incident'. Of course, doing that to himself didn't come without consequence, and he's permanently scored with a variation of lightning & burn scars on his forearms, thighs, and most of his torso.

for the longest time, the most casual thing he'd wear even around just her was the long-sleeved sweater he wore underneath his trench coat, and he refused to change even if he was literally overheating. though eventually after he told her about what happened he felt way more comfortable and now whenever they're in their shared room audi practically has to throw a shirt at him to get him to wear one sbkcjcnk

the auditor has a sort of subspace/pocket dimension where they can store different items and recall them at will. normally it's pretty empty, but ever since she grew to like phobos she's started keeping miscellaneous things in there for him. sometimes she pulls out a drink or snack that he likes, sometimes she pulls out a little water gun with phobos' name scrawled on it and shoots him with it when he's being a shithead

they are both,, SO fucking touch-starved. like they will not let go of each other [at least if they're not currently in the middle of something or around agency employees] cuz internally they're both just going "wow!!! that's a hand i'm holding!!!!! there's a hand holding my hand!!!! wow!!!!!! i love this!!!!!"

having one eye isn't exactly the best thing for depth perception, especially when you're really tired, so sometimes audi has to hold phobos' hand and guide him around in the mornings because he can [and has] walked into walls and counters

even since before they became a thing, phobos had been a little envious of the auditor's halo and the powers it granted her. he used to subtly try to yoink it from her, maliciously at first but far more playfully later, where he'd like lightly grab it and give it a gentle spin above her head like a mobile. but his infatuation with the halo kinda died after she decided to let him borrow/try it out once by allowing him to link with it

by linking i essentially mean like wearing it, but the halo is so powerful that you can't just 'wear' it without letting it bond with a part of you

long story short, he went into it with far too much overconfidence & cockiness and the halo violently rejected him, kind of like how it rejected the auditor once. he wasn't at all prepared for the sheer amount of power that surged through him the moment it started to link with him, so it essentially short-circuited his brain and knocked him unconscious for the better part of a week. when he woke again, the auditor told him he was lucky his head didn't explode and calmly suggested they never tried that again, and he felt inclined to agree.

of course, he still toys with the halo while the auditor's properly linked with it since he knows it can't link to more than one host at a time. and despite his seeming ease and "it's in the past" sort of mentality about the whole event, if someone mentions the concept of him actually taking the halo and linking with it again, he'll shudder and shake his head, saying it's not his place to do so.

the auditor has no doubt it delivered a pretty harsh blow to his ego [being rejected by the thing that would make him a god would prolly do that], but knows he's too prideful to admit that.

audi likes listening to phobos when he goes off on super long monologues, especially if they're like those super cheesy villain monologues. like he could literally be talking about anything and she'll sit there to hear him out, especially if it's less related to work and more about himself

the auditor is super deliberate in the way they pronounce things and they tend to casually drawl their words out to further cement their cool, unbothered boss persona. however the way she talks doesn't really intimidate phobos anymore since he's also been next to her right after she's been woken up, when she's mumbling quietly & slurring some of her words together. he knows the big scary boss side of the auditor is just a persona used for everyone but him, so he feels a lot more at ease with them even when they're trying to be scary

even after being together for a while, phobos still has no fucking idea what the auditor is made of. like he's admitted to her that he's genuinely clueless, and if she lets him he'll spend like 99% of their downtime quietly interacting with her flames [read: curling his fingers through them and petting them] while he muses about his hypotheses for how stuff like her liquidy-shadow form works. they were a little suspicious of his motives at first, but after they relaxed they realised he was just genuinely curious and willing to share his concepts to see if he was right

they have like. the smoothest banter anyone at the agency has seen. like it's super cheesy back-and-forth stuff that wouldn't sound out of place in an 80s sitcom, but it just kinda flows out when they're both comfortable. and ofc they'd deny it if anyone mentioned it but they literally banter like an old married couple lmAO

-----------------

[melodiesofblueroses]

Hey how are you? <3

Could I please request all of the sanrio boys with an s/o who is cold to everyone else but really sweet just to them? Thank you

hey hey anon! I've been doing good recently, thanks for asking! I hope you've been doing well and taking care of yourself. Don't forget to rest and drink water! Thanks for the request and hope you enjoy <3

»»————————-　♡　————————-««

𝘗𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴: Kouta Hasegawa x gn!reader, Yuu Mizuno x gn!reader, Shunsuke Yoshino x gn!reader, Ryo Nishimiya x gn!reader, Seiichiro Minamoto x gn!reader

𝘎𝘦𝘯𝘳𝘦: Fluff

»»————————-　♡　————————-««

☆ Kouta Hasegawa

he would admit that he was a bit hesitant on going up to you when the two of you first met since you seemed like you wanted to be left alone

he really didn’t want to bother you so he often kept his distance

when the two of you were paired up for a group project, however, kouta would begin to realize that you simply didn’t like being around others that much and that he had misjudged you

so the two of you would start to grow close, even if it was slow at first, and one thing led to another and the two of you eventually developed feelings for one another and confessed

i feel like kouta would be quite surprised at first when he saw just how sweet you were when the two of you began dating. it wasn’t in a bad way, however. kouta was simply used to your cold nature that you often exhibited around everyone else

seeing how quick you were to break out into a smile and skip by his side whenever you saw him gave kouta and the others around you a bit of whiplash

he did understand where you were coming from though. kouta himself was pretty shy and introverted and didn’t talk with others much, so he definitely understood why you wouldn’t necessarily want to be around others

he figured that you may have been shy or didn’t like to open up to merely anyone; however, it often came off as you being cold and distant from others

there was also something about the fact that you were only sweet and showed affection to him that made his heart race. call him selfish but kouta adored the fact that he was the only one that got to see your true side

not only did it make him feel loved, but kouta was sure he fell in love with you even more

if you ever wanted to simply hang out with him alone, kouta would have no problem doing so. anytime you called for him, he’d excuse himself from his group of friends and go check on you

besides, kouta loved it when the two of you were alone. it helped the two of you open up to one another as well as bond over silly little things

»»————-　♡　————-««

♡ Yuu Mizuno

he was quite popular at school and made friends with practically everyone, so word got to him quickly that you were someone that hated interacting with others

he’d usually keep to himself in such situations and not bother the other person since that was clearly what they wanted, but this time was different

yuu was instantly captivated by you and wanted to try and get closer, even if you did push him away at times. it was a challenge that he was up for

(also, he once saw you carrying a my melody keychain on your keys and he was pumped to find another fan)

so day after day, yuu would attempt to get close to you, despite your many attempts to shrug him off. he was too persistent

however, the two of you soon began to develop feelings for one another due to the fact that you’ve spent so much time together (all thanks to yuu)

when you first show affection and act all sweet towards him, yuu’s first instinct is to tease you, although he’s very much happy with the fact that his efforts paid off

although he tries to tease you, you can’t help but notice just how flustered he seems to be

has no shame in admitting that he absolutely adores the fact that you only ever are sweet to him. yuu couldn’t help but want to keep you all to himself, especially with how cute you were

as such, he often finds himself ditching groups and others in order to spend much more time with you, though you don’t mind at all

yuu couldn’t get enough of your affection and always craved more (i do think that he is a bit touch starved at times and yearns for comfort)

doesn’t mind the fact that you’re not that fond of others. that simply means that the two of you get more alone time together, and yuu wasn’t complaining about that at all

since he is popular, others may try to dissuade him from dating you. i mean, here was yuu, the kind and caring guy that absolutely everyone at the school loved. on the other hand, there was you, a cold and distant person that no one would approach

ofc, yuu would always get angry at such remarks and defend you, saying how there was much more to you. no one expected him to lose his cool that easily, but when it came to you, his s/o, yuu was defensive

after that, everyone begins to notice how he’s hanging out with you in public much more frequently and how clingy he seemed to be

yuu wanted everyone to know that you were the perfect match for him

»»————-　♡　————-««

♬ Shunsuke Yoshino

shunsuke himself is pretty cold towards others, or at least, that’s what the rumors say. in reality, he simply doesn’t see a need to show his emotions that often

so he totally understands where you’re coming from and doesn’t see anything unusual about it when he first meets you

since the two of you had quite a bit in common, you began to hang out much more often, even if it was doing work or reading a book in silence. it felt nice to have one another’s company

when you both get closer to one another and eventually begin dating, shunsuke is mildly taken aback by how affectionate and sweet you’ve become

it was like you were an entirely different person, though he definitely loved it

he would soon begin to realize that you were merely showing him your true self since you felt so comfortable and safe around him, and that fact in and of itself would fluster shunsuke

sure, since he was quiet it was easy for people to talk to him about anything since often times they wanted someone who would just listen, but he never once thought that someone would open up and be vulnerable to him

thus, even though he absolutely adores you and your sweet nature, shunsuke couldn’t help but get flustered everytime the two of you were alone, which surprised even himself

plus, he wasn’t really used to physical affection that much. sure his friend yuu was a bit clingy and touchy at times, but that was much different. one instance was where his friend was trying to get his attention, and the other was with his s/o

honestly, shunsuke would try his best to start showing his emotions much more around you as well

not only did he not want you to get the wrong idea and assume that he hated your affection (quite opposite really. shunsuke lived for it), but shunsuke also felt comfortable trying with someone who was cold to others just like him

it seemed like you truly understood him and thus wouldn’t judge

(he wouldn’t do it with anyone else, however, only you)

»»————-　♡　————-««

✿ Ryo Nishimiya

ryo is rather similar in a sense in that he’d rather keep to himself unless he’s really close with someone

so i think that he’d be thrilled to find someone similar to him because it made ryo feel validated in a way. like yes, he wasn’t weird and it was completely fine of him to not entirely be fond of others from the get go

the same could be said about you if you were insecure about the fact that you couldn’t open up to others easily. communicating was so difficult to you, yet others made it look so easy. it made you feel less about yourself, but having ryo by your side made you know that you weren’t alone

at first, ryo would keep his distance from you as well although that’s also because of his own awkward personality (he wouldn’t admit it, but you were also somewhat terrifying by how cold you seemed)

however, since the two of you were on the library committee together, you both found yourself often in each other’s company, shelving away books or returning overdue ones that students finally found in the bottom of their locker

it first started when you were reading one of his favorite series, and ryo couldn’t resist the urge to point it out and tell you just how great it was

after that incident, the rest was history, and the two of you soon grew close as you chatted about your favorite series, hobbies, etc. 

he wouldn’t really question the fact that you had suddenly become much more sweet and caring around him since ryo truly thought that it was perfectly normal for someone to hide themselves around most people

in fact, you may also be a bit surprised at just how sweet ryo could be himself since he was rather awkward and quiet when the two of you first met

needless to say, when the two of you were together, you both were as sweet as can be and were rather affectionate (if anyone caught you guys together, they wouldn’t even recognize you lmao)

despite that, he still gets easily flustered whenever you show the tiniest bit of affection or care for him since it wasn’t something he was quite used to

still loves it though

»»————-　♡　————-««

✦ Seiichiro Minamoto

much like yuu, seiichiro loves to get along with everyone since he does think that it’s a part of his duty being the student body president and all

so ofc, seiichiro made it a responsibility of his to try and get along with you when you came to him with a question about joining the student council

he automatically realizes how you seem to close yourself off from others and how you don’t really talk much. it did bother him a bit but only because he wanted to be someone that others could talk to and depend on

over time, you find yourself spending more time with seiichiro, whether that be cleaning up the classroom together at the end of the day or him trying to sit down and have lunch with you

he manages to establish a trusting bond between you, and you soon find yourself gradually warming up to him and hanging out with him outside of school even 

he became a good friend of yours and soon boyfriend when the two of you confessed that you had feelings for one another

seiichiro isn’t all too surprised that you were actually a sweetheart on the inside given that the two of you took time to get to know each other

from all of your interactions and conversations and how you opened up to him, he knew that you were just someone that was careful around others. you only wanted those that truly cared for you to be around

he knew firsthand how intimidating he may seem, so seiichiro is always trying his best to seem approachable. he understands that you’re distant to those that you don’t really know and doesn’t see it as a problem 

he loves to receive your affection especially, although he is equally as good at giving it out as well. there was nothing he loved more than to cuddle up in your arms after a long, tiring day at school

since you’re not too fond of others, seiichiro is careful to drag you into conversation that you may not like. he really didn’t want to make you uncomfortable

if you so desired, he’d also spend a lot of time with just the two of you alone during breaks. often times the other student council members think he’s working (which he is don’t get me wrong), but in reality, he was hanging out with you as the two of you chatted about your day

he really didn’t see your cold, distant nature as much as a problem since he naturally assumed that you’d warm up to those that you loved, and it was something that you were quite grateful for

[johns-prince]

John also had a lovely mix of masculine and feminine physical traits, though this wouldn't become obvious until 1968. When he was on the skinny side (which I loved, sue me) you could tell how beautifully delicate and dainty his bone structure was, way more than Paul's imo. He had those gorgeous long legs and graceful narrow hips that you most commonly find in fashion models. And I love that until at least 1975, he showcased his body beautifully, especially those legs.

Ironically I feel as if people didn't embrace John's femme beauty as well as they did with Paul. I don't know why. Most people seem to prefer him with the more masculine look of 1966. Which was great as well, he was gorgeous but I am a big fan of the 1968 to 1974 run. Btw, note to fanfic writers: please, show John's body some love, I know Paul is stunning but it's kind of exhausting reading 10 pages about how pretty he is and when it comes to my boy John he barely gets a paragraph 😂

Alright, I feel like I’m probably gonna rub a lot of people in this fandom the wrong way with what I’m going to say but this is my blog and you did send this to my inbox so here we go; At the end of the days these are my thoughts and feelings and I might not articulate them very well or I often ramble till I do!

I have my issues, and a complicated relationship with 1968-70s John Lennon. I love John, and thought him healthy and just right in his body type, basically up until 1968, and it’s spotty onward throughout the 70s. To me, John was naturally masculine looking, there’s not exactly an era or year that I could give you like you gave me [Specifically 1966? What about his teddy boy days? All of the early 60s? Hell even throughout the 70s, to me John still was masculine looking to me] He was a bit awkward in his teenhood, but all the boys were, and gradually grew into his adult body. Boy was built and sturdy, naturally thick and strong. 

So we’re probably split on this, because while you see the positives in 1968-1974/70s John, I only really see the negatives. You say skinny, I say malnourished and/or sickly. Depressed druggie who was pushing everyone and everything he loved away, and becoming pathetically dependent on an individual like Yoko [and the other vultures during that time who were terrible influences] 

George was skinny, John was not well and either starving himself or simply using drugs and alcohol as the basis for his diet. And diets.. don’t even get me started on that, the diets he was on, the unhealthy lifestyle that his wife only seemed to enable and help him get on. 

When I look at George, sometimes I get the need to feed him, like an old Mexican mother. When I look at John, who’d lost an unhealthy amount of weight for what it looked like for his body type, I don’t see delicate and dainty bone structure. I see a man who just, he’s not well, something’s wrong.

I’ll give it to you that 1974 New York photoshoot looked very nice, he had muscle again in his arms, though he was still relatively skinny, he didn’t look sickly, or depressed. So I can give you that period during the 70s, I will give you that [hey he was away from Yoko during this no fucking wonder he looked pretty good here] and that shoot was definitely a model moment, wasn’t it? [Not like he didn’t have many of those moments throughout his life] 

So there moments in the seventies where I think John doesn’t look half bad? Even relatively fine? Certainly, I’m devastatingly attracted to this man, dear God almighty have mercy on my soul yes I am. So I’ll agree that yeah, there were periods during the 70s in which John seemed to hold himself fairly well, I’d still climb it.

But I’m at least willing to admit that when John started his spiraling, in 1968, that he was Not Okay. And I personally believe he wasn’t all that okay throughout most of the 70s too... Maybe my issue isn’t with him being ‘skinny’ as it is I don’t like the underweight/severely underweight look on John, I just don’t. The incredibly unhealthy way he went about losing weight... Physically frail doesn’t fit him, and it only upsets me whenever I see photos of him that show how thin his legs became or how you can see his ribs, just how wasted away he’d look at times throughout the 70s, up until the last days of his life. 

You want a “skinny” or ''skinnier'' John Lennon? A healthy, ‘’skinny/skinnier’’ John Lennon for his body type, is ‘66 and ‘67 in my eyes, and even then it wasn’t a radical change in weight loss; John still looked like John.

And speaking of 1968-1969, or the White Album era; don’t think it isn’t lost on me when I see people making light of John’s unhygienic appearance during the making of the White Album. Boy was depressed and hurting for whatever reason, again, spiraling, and getting lost in Yoko and heroin as a means of escapism and someone to tell him ‘it’s alright it isn’t your fault it’s everyone else’s fault’. Of course he didn’t care much for his personal appearance or hygiene... I will say I appreciate your appreciation for him during that period, instead of getting the whole ‘stinky/smelly rat man.’ Maybe I’m too much of a ‘’stan’’ but I don’t find it very amusing or endearing. 

Don’t find me mocking or ‘’teasing’’ Paul’s depressed ass and his appearance during the breakup period/white album era-- but I suppose it’s because Paul actually tried and wasn’t on hard drugs, and had a good wife, so he was able to wear his depression and struggle with alcoholism a bit better, hmm? I don’t like Paul’s beard simply because I know it was the result of his lack of energy, depression, and falling into the drink-- he simply didn’t feel the need nor had the energy to care for himself, so that’s why he let it grow out. I don’t like it because of that, but that’s as much as you’ll get from me. 

Anyway... Maybe I just don’t see John as characteristically feminine/effeminate as Paul, although he has his moments of acting and wearing clothes that are campy and elegant or give off a softer appearance, specifically around 1968 and throughout the 70s. But otherwise, I can’t agree, John didn’t have the same mixture, or balance of masculine and feminine traits as Paul-- and if it’s only made obvious during the downfall turning point of The Beatles and John (1968), then I don’t think that really counts as a ‘’lovely’’ mix of masculine and feminine traits for the reasons I mentioned. So I’ve got to disagree. John's always come off as much more masculine, or naturally masculine, both physically and characteristically, to me.

You know maybe it’s just the blogs I interact with, but I feel like it’s the other way around. I know I can sometimes come off as aggressive but at the end of the day I don’t necessarily care what one person thinks or believes, since it’s all relatively subjective to our own ideas of things and biases, etc... I have my thoughts and beliefs and theories and whether people agree or disagree with them on tumblr dot com... Well, what’re you gonna do? Nothing, it’s not my problem. 

What I 100% agree on you with is about showing Johnny’s body a bit more love and attention to detail when it comes to writing about him in fanfiction! 

There’s his auburn red hair, a darker ginger, which was thick and fun to watch as it lit up like fire when sunlight hit him, and could easily go wavy and curl when left unkempt and natural. The splattered and scattered galaxies of light freckles up and down his arms, his shoulders, his back, even a couple on his face. His aquiline nose, a relatively square jawline and facial structure, thick, heavy eyebrows which really intensify expressions of rage and hurt, almond shaped eyes which are the color of honey-amber when the light hits them just right and outlined with thick, long lashes, blind as a bat without his glasses but can give a mean squint which either helps scare off trouble, or brings it right to him, especially when he’s got thin bitten lips that could pull off a devilishly cheeky smirk or a no-good, charming grin to showcase teeth with the upper front turned slightly in towards each other, gives that imperfection which truly just perfects it-- a face like that of a tragic hero in a Greek Romance, distinctive and handsome. How he just oozed filthy sex and genuine trouble, sweaty leather and smoky dancehalls and rock & roll that crawls up your spine like an orgasm. Hips that could roll like Elvis and strong legs, thick thighs which would make a lovely place to sit. Broad shoulders, strong arms that could easily manage to lift you up and manhandle you in any way he’d like. Big hands, almost like shovels-- beautiful hands, with fingernails usually bitten short and occasionally had black ink or charcoal under them from when he’d be working on art, and rough, callused fingertips from playing guitar till they split and bleed, add a lovely roughness to any gentle touching he might do. A naturally thick midsection, a normal, healthy layer of fat which covers the sinewy just beneath. Any hair is light, light and lightly colored, on his arms and legs and chest. Cute tush, nice butt, a nice boy butt, slightly muscular bubble butt. 

Fun facts; he had the largest feet out of all four Beatles. John isn’t circumcised. John and George share the same height. John has a surprisingly long tongue. John’s skin tone may be light, but for comparison, he’s much tanner compared to Paul-- he’s a bit more olive or wheat to his skin tone, and tanned very, very well. John’s cheeks could become easily red though. John liked the scent of citrus to wear--  he was also self conscious about the fact he could easily sweat and so usually wore such colognes or scents, didn’t want to smell bad. He started smelling of witch hazel when with Yoko. Despite his issue with sweating, he didn’t smell bad naturally. John was a true romantic, being an artist outside of being a musician/rock and roller-- he just didn’t like to show it, and growing up in his time, you couldn’t. John’s a swimmer, he loved to swim and loved the ocean. 

[miraculouscontent]

(Shanghai-related asks)

.

Anonymous said:

Did you see how, supposedly, the reason Marinette goes to Shanghai is bc Adrien is there. Because you know, that's a totally normal thing to do.

You know, there’s this suspension of disbelief where characters are allowed to do certain things that you’re like, “okay that’s not realistic but it’s fun so I don’t mind.”

Yeah, this is not fun.

Anonymous said:

Based on the new trailer for the Shanghai special, one of my biggest fears is that we won't see Marinette interacting with Sabine's family outside of Uncle Wang, even Sabine is nowhere to be seen in the trailer, please ZAG at least give us one of Sabine's parents, we're starving

I’m still rolling my eyes that there’s not one piece of dialog with Sabine talking about stuff related to her family, though her cheongsam is also flipped so--

Anonymous said:

Synopsis for the Shanghai Special: To join Adrien in Shanghai, Marinette is going to visit her uncle Wang who is celebrating his anniversary. But, as soon as she arrives in China, her purse gets stolen with Tikki inside, whom she needs to secretly transform into Ladybug! Without money and alone in the immense city, Marinette accepts the help of a young and resourceful girl, Fei. The two girls will ally and discover the existence of a new magical jewel, the Prodigious. Hawk Moth, also also present in Shanghai, seeks to finding it since a long time... Yea, cause Marinette still hasn’t suffered enough :p

mAriNEtTe mAkeS a mIsTakE iN eVeRY sToRY

Anonymous said:

As someone of Chinese descent, I felt extremely bothered by how miniscule the boy's , the one on the right (?) taking a picture with Adrien, eyes were when I saw the Shanghai trailer. It feels extremely... stereotypical? Not sure if that's the right word. I mean, he could just be squinting, but it still bothers me. Especially if that's their normal eye shape.

I heard similar complaints when Kagami arrived. They really stress the eye shape when it comes to someone full-on Asian (and if you’re half-Asian then you get wholly round eyes which makes no sense). It also gets weird because I feel like we have characters in the show who could pass for Asian (Mireille at least has the proper eye shape without it being over-exaggerated; I don’t remember if her skin tone is correct or not), but when characters are actually Asian, it’s usually taken to the exaggeration.

My sympathy goes out to everyone of Chinese descent who’s going to have to deal with the special. I’m literally a mish-mash of whiteness (American, French, and German) but even I know it must suck.

Anonymous said:

im tempted to watch the Shanghi special with my family, we're part chinese and have been to shanghi a few times. Then we can laugh and yell at it together, no need for show context

omg

As long as you have fun! Give it a good roast for me!

Anonymous said:

Excuse my french (pun intended) but

WHAT EVER LOVING HELL HAPPEN TO THE SPECIAL!!

Marketing.

Also the writers wanting to make sure you don’t forget that Adrien is a guy who exists.

Anonymous said:

Hi, Clarity! If you don't mind me asking, do you have any thoughts on the upcoming Shanghai special based on the information and trailers we have?

When I found out that Marinette was spending time with her great-uncle Wang, I was so excited. I was hoping that this special will be a breath of fresh air and spontaneously focus just on Marinette and her family for once. Maybe we'd explore Marinette's Chinese heritiage and learn more about her mother, Sabine and extended maternal family.

Then I saw Gabriel in which I eye-rolled 180* like any degree of character development. Like... great... more needless Miraculous lore/exposition. (Can we even call it exposition? I doubt any of the Miraculous-related events will be referenced within the show.) Whilst Miraculous lore is great and does expand our knowledge on the Miraculous, it steals any individual focus that Marinette could potentially have. It also tends to "hands everything" to Hawk Moth, who gets almost everything done his way without him even trying. Hmm, I guess as Shadow Moth, he won't have to use Mayura as his catslyst anymore. He'll have to ruffle his own feathers. (I don't know why I'm making a bird joke about Gabriel here. I hate him snd I couldn't care less about him.)

Also by reading the special's synopsis, it mentions that Adrien and Gabriel go to China for an unknown reason (maybe business related.) So Marinette decides to go to spend time with him (also spend time with Wang concurrently.) This might be a minor issue but I don't want Adrien to always be the centre focus of Marinette's motivations/desires. (He isn't always but I feel he is more than he should be.) Let our beautiful amazing girl just have an amazing time with her family in China. The writers need to stop Adrien being an integral part of Marinette's character. This special should be about Marinette (along with her family) and them solely.

Moreover, I'm worried that Marinette will imminently be embarassed/scolded/humiliated in some way. The synopsis mentions that she loses her bag (that contains Tikki.) Inevitably, she's going to be scolded for this for not being careful. The writers will blame her for the destruction that Hawk Moth will cause and not the actual man terrorising Shanghai himself. And no needless lovesquare drama please. If I'm not interested in it in Paris, don't think I'll be interested in it in Shanghai. And please do not let it be used to cause Mari/LB to suffer. Romance (no matter how contrived it is in this show) should be about finding joy and happiness. It should never intentionally be a burden for anybody, especially if it's for comedic purposes. Why am I worried that CN will yell at LB this time?

Maybe I'm just being pessimistic. I hope that the writers actually have them communicate properly about this time. Like they should both be honest (an important aspect of healthy relationships), to build clarity and to avoid confusion. Like the needless drama in NY could have been avoided if Adrien didn't ignore Ladybug and actually TRUSTED her by telling her the truth about him going somewhere instead of complacently lying to her, then losing her trust. Both could have told each other that they are going to NY "for personal reasons" without giving too much detail. To prevent suspicion, the writers could have included the American superheroes hosting an event inviting them or asking for their help to defeat that Micromonster guy. LB and CN could have both then collectively made a decision that if anything were to go wrong in Paris, they could quickly use the Horse Miraculous to transport to France in time (like Marinette was advised to do in "Startrain") or use the Rabbit Miraculous to travel back in time/manipulate events. There was no need to make Marinette suffer for the sake of needless lovesquare drama.

However, I love the animation for the special. It is mesmerising and beauitful and the graphics look superb. The atmosphere looks so clean and the nature-aspects (Hawk Moth's hideout) are intricately detailed. The lighting also complements the charactrrs and the settings' colours. A huge round of applause to SAMG for their excellant hardwork for animating this special despite the pandemic!

If you have any worries about the special, free free to do so! I want to conclude my message by thanking you so much for being such a lovely, kind, confident and resilient person. You always confidently express your opinions and strcture your essays clearly and legibly. I always look forward to reading your posts. I know I can always count on you to express our frustrations with the show's writing on our behalf and speak up for Marinette's mistreatment and inustice! 😊

Firstly, thank you! I gotta defend Marinette because we know the show won’t!

Anyway, I agree with basically everything you said. My biggest comments on it are like--

- I’m already tired of places just being used as set pieces for specials. I actually have a history of disliking specials/movies for shows because its purposes is usually just to get people hyped up, but that means big plots with big stakes and I end up thinking, “okay, but why can’t we have that in the show?” That’s always the issue I take with it; movies/specials prove that they can come up with high stakes plots, but we can’t have equivalents in the show because...?

- I officially tune out now anytime Marinette’s crush on Adrien is mentioned. It gets tiring and it just makes me feel bad for her and simultaneously angry at the writers for treating her this way. Add that onto the “Marinette always makes mistakes” rule and it’s clear that they’re creatively bankrupt and needlessly restrict themselves for the sake of making Marinette suffer. I’m just insulted that Gabriel is going to Shanghai for his fashion business but Marinette being into fashion is ignored.

- The animation is nice but whenever I see it, I’m reminded that we couldn’t have much SAMG in Season 4+5 because they were busy working on the special. The show should always take priority over some lame special/movies. I won’t judge the special for it but I’m salty about it regardless.

[slygirl666]

Call me your love

The beginning

Fred Weasley x Lestrange!reader 

historical au: 1800′s 

warnings: none for this chapter, will eventually be an 18+ story. probably not historically accurate, I kinda don't care 

will most likely be on Wattpad too (might change the name please help me with it)

An eight year old Y/N Lestrange walked with her mother to their carriage. It was a rare time she was allowed out of the manor. They had stopped in a dress shop because Lady Lestrange needed to get Y/N a dress that was appropriate for a funeral.

The Funeral of the Mr. and Mrs. Potter, a well respected wealthy family. Though Y/N didn’t know them she did know that they were dear to cousin Sirius’ heart. So dear that their nine year old boy was left in his care.

Sirius had invited his own family seeing how the potters didn’t have any living.

Y/N sat as still as possible while an older lady took measurements of her and her mother looked at materials.

When Y/N had gotten back into her proper clothes she sat patiently waiting for her mother to finish. She played with the pendant that fell over her dress.

When her mother was finished she walked out to the busy streets of london she felt a hand on her wrist as she was pulled away from her mother.

She was pulled behind a shop where she was met with the dirty face of a young boy slightly older than her whose smile spelled trouble.

“Do you have money, miss?” the boy whispered almost ashamed. His eyes not meeting hers. She took a moment to take in his appearance. His trousers had holes in them, he was barefoot on the dirt street, his bright orange hair had dusty areas in it.

“No I don't,” Y/N almost felt bad for him. She looked for something to give him before reaching for her necklace. “Why do you need the money, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“My family has none, miss, see I have six siblings,” his hazel eyes finally met your tears in them with a hint of shame. “We might starve if my brothers and I don’t find away to get money for them.”

So Y/N Lestrange made the decision to unclasp the necklace and put it in his hand, “sell it, it can get you a few galleons.”

“I’ll never forget this, miss I’ll owe you for the rest of my life.

Y/N finally hears the distant yell of her mother, “i have to go.”

She walked off and the little redhead boy knew he would never see her again.

***ten years later***

An eighteen year old Y/N sat in a carriage with her cousin Sirius Black and the boy Harry Potter as the view of the Lestrange manor became smaller with each turn of the wheel.  

Bellatrix and Rodolphus Lestrange had died of an illness that went undetected until it was too late.

Y/N sat silently in the seat of the carriage, her parents weren’t the most loving. She was mostly raised by a nanny, rather than being educated she was encouraged to do more ladylike activities like needle point and music. But they were her parents, her  blood.

Her aunt Andromeda had married poor and was disowned so she could not live with her, her aunt Narcissa’s husband was much too busy a man for another child to be around.

Her cousin Sirius said he had more than enough room for her to stay, with a cousin she didn’t know hours away from her childhood.

Sirius had fallen asleep an hour into the ride, Harry Potter finally spoke. “Miss Lestrange, I know it isn’t much but I do understand. Living with Sirius is an interesting time yes but I do hope we can be friends.”

“That would be nice and given the circumstances of our situation why don’t you call me Y/N” she tried her best to smile.

“Only if you agree to calling me Harry.” he smiled.

The two sat for the other hour of the trip with polite conversation between the two of them.

When the carriage came to a halt the redhead man came down to open the doors, Sirius laughed. “We aren’t normally so formal but we are trying to make a good impression here.”

Sirius waved his hand in the direction of the tall stocky man with his red hair tied lowly behind him. “This is Charlie Weasley, he is our driver, when he is not doing that he can be found in the farm.”

“Goodday, miss Lestrange it is exciting to meet you,” he helped her out by hand.

“That is very kind of you to say.” she smiled as she walked off with her cousin.

Sirius opened the door to Grimwald manner and yelled out, “Ginniveria!”

A thin girl in a simple dress that went to her calf walked in. she looked to be around your age which excited you. “yes Sirius, and you know it's Ginny.”

Y/N was startled at the lack of formality, but eased as Sirius laughed and apologized. “This is Ginny Weasley, she does a lot of the house keeping, she will be showing you around.”

Sirius dismissed himself as Harry said he must be off to study, nodding shyly to Ginny.

“Well miss Lestrange, I can show you around, your room is prepared, but the boys will be bringing your stuff up so we can see the grounds.”

Y/N followed the excited girl as she spewed facts about what was in the house and her family. She learned that all the weasleys but two worked in the house, her mother was the cook, her father repaired around the house with the youngest of her  brothers, two of them worked the stables and Charlie took care of the farm animals.

To Y/N it seemed like a lot of people doing so many things.

When they reached the stables Ginny called out for her brothers, “Fredrick, George!”

That's when all of a sudden a young man with bright red hair appeared behind them spooking his sister and Y/N in the process. Ginny hit him with her arm, “fredric you absolute pr-”

“No no sister,” he tisked at her, “we have to make a good first impression don't we?”

He gave her a wink she scoffed, “cause you're doing so well aren't you?”

“Feisty, ain't she?” she took her hand bringing it to his lips eyes locking with hers. “Frederick weasley Miss Lestrange, Happy to meet you.”

“Well Frederick. I do enjoy horses and think you will be seeing me quite a bit.”

“I'll look forward to it,” something in his hazel eyes was awfully familiar though she couldn’t quitte place why.  Ginny grabbed her wrist pulling her back to the house.

Ginny led Y/N to her room, multiple trunks containing her entire life were there. “Could you help me unpack?”

“Yes miss,” she smiled, opening one of them expertly making her way around the room. “You know other than my mother who hardly counts, I’m never around other girls. I do hope we can be friends.”

The thought of making friends with a girl who worked for her would have scandalized Y/N’s mother. But she had never had any friends her own age other than her cousin, “I think I’d like that, call me Y/N please.”

Ginny smiled and continued helping her unpack, Y/N looked around the room, some one had put flowers on the dresser that she recognized from the field outside. Y/N smiled knowing Ginny placed them there.

“I should go help Mum set up for supper, I’ll come get you beforehand.” Ginny walked out closing the door, it was funny she had only just arrived today and they treated her so warmly.

Y/N moved to the chest that she knew carried her more casual dresses moving to take off her heavily layered dress.

That in itself took a good amount of time, after redressing she moved to the vanity beginning to take out the intricate pins and overly done curls, running a brush through them. Struggling to put it up.

With a knock at the door Ginny entered the room. “Do you want some help?”

Y/N nodded letting Ginny take the brush before putting delicate braids on either side of her hair tying it back with a grey ribbon.

They walked together to the dining room. Y/N was surprised to see the large family of redheads also sitting at the large dining table. She knew her parents would hate it, she smiled to herself. Her cousin was so kind to the people who work for them she almost wondered why.

But she sat happily joining them for supper.

* * *

Waking up in a room that wasn’t her own was a strange feeling, Ginny opened the room's curtains before getting a simple shirt and long skirt for her to wear.

“You’ll be joining Harry in his studies today,” she made the bed as Y/N got out of it. “Your afternoon is free.”

“But i-”

“Hurry now, breakfast will be finished in a minute.” Ginny helped her get into her skirts, getting as Y/N buttoned up her shirt to the neck. Putting her hair back into a subtle half up style.

The two girls went down the stairs chatting. Like the night before the Weasley family was at the breakfast table.

Harry and the youngest Weasley boy were having a conversation, the twins, Frederick and George, recalled laughing at the expense of Charlie Who seemed annoyed. While Molly, Sirius and Aurther had a quiet conversation. Ginny sat next to one of the twins leaving an open space on the edge of the table. Y/N sat eating her breakfast quietly just observing the odd way everyone interacted.

“Miss Lestrange, how did you settle in on your first night?” one of the twins turned his attention to her. Taking a sip of her tea noticing the sudden silence.

“My first night was well,” she smiled at him sweatley. “You all have been very inviting, I’m grateful for that.”

“And your room?” Sirius smiled at her.

“It’s lovely, Ginny has lovely taste.” she laughed, winking at the redhead girl.

There was a knock at the door. Ginny excused herself to answer the door.  Behind ginny a tall man with dusty hair and a scared face walked in.

The adults greeted him with a warm ‘remus’ but the weasley kids and Harry called out ‘mr.Lupin.’

He smiled at everyone greeting them by name, “you must be miss Lestrange, i'm the tutor you will be working with.”

You hesitated before thinking better of telling everyone one about your education status.

When the Weasleys began to excuse themselves you spoke up, “cousin, may I have a word?”

“Of course Y/N what seems to be the problem,” sirius looked concerned as he set his tea down.

“Well, you see my mother was a bit old fashioned when it came to where a woman should stand in society,” you started as Sirius nodded. “They did not let my nanny educate me past basic reading, enough to write a simple letter even. I’m just afraid that I won’t be able to keep up with Harry.”

“Yes, I can see where that is a genuine concern,” he smiled warmly. “If you would like I could look to find you a different tutor willing to work at your speed. I would use Remus but Harry's studies take a lot of his time and he has other students.”

“That would be wonderful, cousin sirius,” you smiled sweetly to him.

“Y/N, given the fact we are family you could call me just Sirius.” you felt a wave of relief wash through you.

That's when Ginny ran back into the dining room, “Mum needs me to pick up more fruits from the store. May Charlie and I go?”

“Of course Ginny, Y/N why don’t you go see the town with Ginny,” you looked taken aback. To go into town unsupervised. “Charlie will be with the two of you.”

“We can go to mrs.Kranes,” Ginny turned her attention to Sirius. “Y/N doesn't really have any simple dresses.”

“That's great Ginny,” You watched as Sirius pulled out a key and unlocked a box. He pulled out a coin pouch handing it to you. “Enough for two dresses for you, and one for Ginny if she would like something.”

Ginny grabbed your hand pulling you outside to the farm, “Charles!”

The closer we got to the more we could hear the Squeal and heavy breathing of a pig, “what’s wrong Gin?”

“We have to go get things for mum from the town.” her voice flattered seeing charlie hold a small piglet. “Ask Fred, He shouldn’t be too busy and he knows how the carriage works.”

“All right charlie, tell us when the litter is born.” Ginny turned to the door leading you to the stables.

“Freddie!” you took note that Ginny really liked yelling when she called for her brothers. “Charlie said you were the driver while May was having her baby’s.”

Both twins walked out of stalls across from each other. “Okay, where are we going?”

“Nice try George,” Ginny smiled to the one on the right. “Fred get ready we'll be ready in an hour.”

Ginny once again pulled you back to the manor.

[cleumz-moved]

*whips out google dog* hMm where to start

im sorry this is so long LMAO

also its technically giving away my account bc ive posted these before but thats fine

tws: drugs, alchohol, and cigarettes are mentioned

—

Childe is the favorite to work under because he's not cruel, and Signora or Dottore are the least favorites (for obvious reasons)

Scaramouche has a pyro delusion, and Dottore has a cryo delusion. He doesn't use it though, and instead chooses to experiment on it

Signora has a pet crow that perches on her shoulder and judges everyone with her. Scaramouche has a pet cat that hates everyone except for him. Childe has a dog that stays at home and Tonia takes care of her when Childe can't. Dottore has a snake that coils around his neck or arms often (like Baizhu’s snake 💀)

Childe is really attention needy. Like, the man would do anything for affection from someone. He constantly asks everyone to spar because he's more likely to get that than any form of hug.

Scaramouche is touch starved but instead of seeking touch he bundles up in a bunch of blankets when he can.

Dottore has really fluffy hair, surprising considering he scarcely showers. He also prefers baggy clothing when he's not dressed up or working.

Dottore randomly pulls his subordinates into his office, especially if they've fucked up somehow, and asks them a bunch of questions about various things. If they mess up, they're his next victim. (If not, they get off with a warning and a stab wound if Dottore cares enough).

Scaramouche is practically the only one willing to fight Childe, mostly because Childe annoys him until he loses self control and patience. Signora mostly just watches the sparring from the side and orders replacements for any broken furniture.

Dottore constantly misses meetings for the sake of his work, and just sends a subordinate in to represent him. He also ignores most of the other harbingers and isn't very talkative. Probably the most secluded of the 4.

Childe is actually fond of a few of his subordinates, both because he's not a bitch like the others and because they're nice and know how to get things done. He is always distant with everyone though, so they're not friends, rather just friendly

I really can't see his subordinates being scared of him unless for whatever reason he really doesn't like them. But the second he gets pissed off by someone the others try and make it out of the room as fast as possible

Dottore stays holed up in his lab for weeks at a time and only remembers to eat when someone else (usually Scaramouche) yells at him to

He also lives off of coffee at this point because he never sleeps. It's completely normal to see him slipping outside his lab for a few minutes at 4 in the morning to get a new cup of coffee (naturally this means he has heavy eye bags too)

Signora is literally the wine aunt I don't make the rules. She prefers to watch the other harbingers (usually Childe and Scara) fight and only intervenes if it conveniences her or they piss her off

She knows everything about everyone because she's just that good at getting information. She probably doesn't have that much on dottore because honestly no one really interacts with him

Childe is lactose intolerant but that doesn't stop him from consuming dairy. The most he gets is nausea though, while Dottore is lactose intolerant as well and cannot actually consume dairy

Everyone thinks Childe is an idiot for not being more hurt about Zhongli and Signora's betrayals. He just represses that hurt.

Scara indulges Childe in his sparring obsession purely because he gets so mad he loses his ability to make rational decisions. Signora calls Childe names when he asks her but ends up indulging anyways (only a few times he asks though). Dottore just ignores him

Dottore is really good at ignoring people, especially if he's working on something at the time. Practically nothing can distract him when he's working

Tsaritsa basically treats the harbingers like her children (found family harbingers)

Dottore is insecure about his face (and scars), hence the mask that he always wears.

His voice is not too deep and with a bit of raspiness to it. He either sounds tired and done with everyone’s shit or pissed off.

Dottore goes from 0 to 100 so quickly that it gives everyone whiplash

He wants to study Childe’s foul legacy but every time he asks Childe refuses

He's tried to poison Signora so many times. Each time it gets more and more complex/he finds stranger ways to do it.

Scaramouche knows a lot about psychology and can read everyone like a book. Dottore is the one who taught him this, and can also read everyone. Scaramouche has a hard time reading Dottore though

Dottore is insanely spiteful and gets a kick out of reactions.

His physical strength is almost concerning. Can definitely throw a ruin guard head with one arm

Also regularly chucks things at people when they disturb him, especially if he's working. He doesn't even look at them, just throws it over his shoulder and somehow it hits every single time.

Signora, Dottore and Scaramouche all have the worst sleep schedules and stay up in the ungodly hours of the night. They usually hang out in Signora's room if they're all free and get stoned together

Signora has the worst hangovers, Dottore gets a bad headache and Scaramouche just gets irritable

Childe is an extreme lightweight. He also gets a loose tongue when he's drunk and most likely spills secrets easily

He's also uptight about drugs/smoking/drinking because of being an older sibling, so he stays as far away from drugs and stuff as he can. Probably the only one with an actual sleep schedule

Dottore randomly passes out for a few hours at a time because he never sleeps on his own. Usually in the most random places too. One second he’s awake, the next he’s just out of it

Signora gets her sleep during the day. She stays up until 5 (sometimes later if Scara and Dottore are with her) and then passes out till like 1pm the next day

Scaramouche doesn't need to eat, sleep, etc because of his whole puppet thing. He instead uses the time everyone else is asleep to relax (and probably reads poetry)

As a result of being poisoned all the time, Signora gives Dottore food that has dairy in it (see lactose intolerant Dottore hcs). Dottore has learned not to accept any food from Signora and every time its delivered makes sure it's not from her

[1/2] (the next ones are just autistic dottore hcs so)

— specter

omg dude these r so cool no theyve been sitting in my inbox 4 like ever im so srry lmao

[ayoitsnic]

Crowley x Reader x Lucifer

Part 1

*Based loosely around 12x15 but Ramsey kills Gwen and gets away

Word Count: 2.6k

Trigger Warnings: Injured animal? Idk? If you think something should be added to the TW list drop a comment or DM me

Summary: Humans aren’t supposed to see hellhounds, so what happens when y/n finds an injured hellhound and brings it home to care for? 

*Disclaimer* Lucifer will be introduced in the 2nd part which should be up by Saturday 4/3/2021

It was almost midnight when y/n got off of work. She was exhausted after her shift at Regional West Medical Center in Nebraska. As she trudged through the parking lot to her old, beat up 2002 Suzuki she couldn’t help but feel eyes on her, like something was watching her from out in the darkness. Fumbling with her keys she turned to unlock the driver’s side car door (The remote to unlock the door was broken. The car could only be opened with the actual key.), only to freeze in place when she felt the hot breath and heard the heavy breathing of some sort of animal behind her. “Dear god, please let it be my overactive imagination.” she prayed silently, knowing it was no use. Whatever stood behind her was very much real.

Very slowly she turned to face whatever it was that was sniffing her, her keys moving between her middle and ring finger in case she needed to defend herself. Instead of being met with what she thought for sure would be a small bear or a rabid coyote, she was met with a very large dog. A very large dog that looked like it had been through absolute hell. Its fur was matted and caked with dried mud and dirt, and it was covered with cuts and what she naturally assumed was its own blood. It was hard to tell through the thick, matted fur but it also looked very underweight. “Oh you poor baby….” Y/n’s heart melted upon seeing the creature.

Obviously the dog had been out on its own for a very long time. Y/N took pity on it. It seemed so sad, and it didn’t appear rabid or vicious. It looked like it just wanted help. Reluctantly she reached down to check for a collar. There was a collar but it was in a foreign language. One she’d never seen before. Unlocking the back of the car she coaxed the dog in with some leftover food she had from her lunch break. She knew the poor thing must be starving. Being hurt it took a little help getting in. Little did she know how dangerous that dog really was or that there was a man out right now searching for it.

The K-9, which y/n decided to call (Dog’s name) had fallen asleep on the car ride home, snoring softly over the radio that was playing some Green Day song. Pulling into the driveway, (Y/N) stopped the car and turned off the radio. Almost on queue (dog’s name) looked up to see where they were. A light was on outside, illuminating a large porch (Which could probably use a new paint job, if we’re being honest) with 2 rocking chairs, a small table and a plethora of healthy, brightly colored plants. She picked up the injured dog and carried it inside, planning on taking it to the vet in the morning to see if it was microchipped.

She was going to let the dog sleep in the basement for the night, unsure if it would destroy the house or not. She remembered her aunt’s German Shepherd who took pleasure in tearing up sofas, and eating her plants. The dog also really needed a bath and she didn’t want it on the furniture until it got one. Unfortunately around 3:30 am, y/n felt a dip in the bed and then something making itself comfy by her feet. Looking over, she found the dog curled up in bed with her. Way too tired to deal with it now, and knowing she had to wash the sheets anyway she just fell back asleep let the dog stay with her so long as it stayed at the foot of the bed.

~

The next morning, Y/N got up early to go to the pet store and get stuff for the dog. She called up the local vet, making an appointment, she washed the sheets, and most importantly she began trying to wash (Dog’s name). At first the dog resisted, wanting absolutely nothing to do with the water. Y/N knew exactly how to deal with this though. Placing a glob of peanut butter on the side of the tub to keep the dog preoccupied, (Dog’s name) happily entered the bathtub. A trick y/n had learned from that aunt with the poorly behaved German Shepherd. By the time y/n was done with the dog she’d had to drain and refill the tub 3 times before she gave up and kept it drained, just using the shower head. She couldn’t believe how much blood and dirt had come off this dog.

Around 2pm the doorbell rang and this dog who was once so sweet, albeit a bit skittish turned into an absolute beast. Running to the door, loud deep barks and growls left it. The dog seemed ready to tear the stranger on the other side of the door to shreds. It was almost like it had turned into a completely different dog. “(Dog’s name)!!!” Y/n shouted as she raced down the stairs after it, hoping to get to the door before the dog did. “NO!!!” She yelled. Even hurt and underweight, (Dog’s name) was really big. If it wanted to break that door, it probably could. Without thinking, Y/n quickly grabbed the dog by the collar to stop it. “I said no!” She told her firmly with a pointed finger. The dog whined, tail between its legs as it hurried back up the stairs to the bedroom to do that thing dogs do when they roll around on the rug to dry themselves.

The front door had a glass window looking out so y/n could see the stranger. He was short, and wore a nice suit. He seemed only slightly concerned about the interaction. The man didn’t even flinch as the massive hound lunged itself at him. It seemed like this was a normal day for him. Actually, he seemed more unnerved after she called the dog off. Opening the door, y/n apologized profusely for the dog “I am so sorry about the dog! I-” Before she could continue, the man squinted at her, clearly confused about something. “What are you?” He questioned in an English accent.

“Hellhounds? Really?” She questioned with a quirked eyebrow and a small grin, crossing her arms and constantly turning to keep facing the man. It was obvious she didn’t believe him.

Obviously his question confused y/n as she gave him a look of confusion back “What do you mean ’what are you?’” She stepped out onto the porch, closing the door behind her “I'm human”

“Yes, really.” The man continued, as serious as a heart attack “You especially shouldn’t be able to control that bitch. I’ve only ever known one person to be able to control Ramsey and you and not that person.”

“Oh really? And who might that person be then?” Y/n asked, beginning to think this was some elaborate prank being played on her by a friend or coworker.

Remembering what the demon said about her being able to control the hound, y/n gave it a shot. Raising a hand she firmly commanded “Ramsey stay.” Not only did the dog stop dead in her tracks, she laid down and waited for further orders. Now most people would be a little freaked out by this; finding a hellhound that they didn't know was a hellhound, and now being visited by a demon sent to collect said hound. Y/n however wasn’t afraid. Actually she kind of got a Déjà vu feeling at this.

“No you can’t be. Humans can’t see hellhounds, much less control them.” Normally Crowley would just collect the demonic hound and leave, with humans being none the wiser that the rogue canine was even there, but not only did this woman know the hellhound was there, she was taking pretty good care of it. Even stranger, the dog was letting her care for it. There was something different about this woman, something special. He just wasn’t sure what it was yet. Crowley circled y/n, inspecting her. He was trying to find any indication of her not being human.

“Lucifer.” Crowley responded

At that, y/n was done. “Look pal, I don’t know what kind of kool-aid you’re drinking but I’m not buying it. Now’s the part where I tell you to get off my property.” she turned to go back inside, closing and locking the door behind her. As she turned to head upstairs though, Crowley was standing right behind her, his eyes red. She let out a screech, jumping as far back as she could (Which wasn’t far as the door was right behind her). Again, the dog that the demon in front of her called ‘Ramsey’ came running to her defense.

~

“The name’s Crowley. King of hell.” He introduced himself “May I ask who you are?”

“Y/n y/l/n.” she responded before telling him “Queen of this house.” This was crazy. Y/n was standing in her entryway conversing with a demon king. “Could I offer you tea ‘your highness’? Maybe Coffee?" she asked, her voice dripping with sarcasm as she addressed Crowley as 'your highness' She wasn’t gonna hand over the dog so easily, and something told her the demon wouldn’t be leaving without Ramsey.

“.....Who are you?” Y/n asked the man

Y/n and Crowley sat in her kitchen, sipping tea and chatting. “Why aren’t you afraid of me?” The demon who sat across from y/n questioned “Most people would run, or beg for mercy if a demon showed up at their doorstep. Not invite them in for a drink.”

~

If it weren’t for the fact that y/n could sick Cujo on him at any moment, Crowley wouldn’t be being so patient with her. He wouldn’t be trying to convince her to send the dog to her death. “I’m sorry but I can’t let you take that dog back.” Y/n told Crowley. For some reason she felt bonded to that dog, with the overwhelming need to protect her.

“I’m afraid I must insist. She’s dangerous and unpredictable. It’s for the best that she be put down. She’s killed a lot of people who weren’t on hell’s hit list while she was topside.” Crowley explained “A pup like that out and about isn't good for business. It makes it look like I’m not in control.”

“Do you want me to beg for mercy?” Y/n asked with a smirk and a small, dry chuckle. “Sorry but you’re not very scary so forgive me if I’m quaking in my shoes.” She would never be seen begging for mercy. Not in a million years.

“I thought you were the king down there.” Y/n questioned “A king answers to no one. You could turn, walk right out that front door, and pretend she vanished. That you weren't able to find her. Or you could go back and tell your people she attacked you and you killed her. Besides, you’re a demon. You don’t really care about the people she’s killed, do you?” Y/n definitely cared and felt bad, she just didn’t believe Crowley did.

“The Winchester’s. They hunt monsters. Vampire’s, werewolves, demonkind, et cetera.” Crowley explained “They’re ruthless, and if they find out that dog is here they will show up and kill her. Painfully. If you hand her over I promise her death will be a painless and merciful one.” Of course he would make the boys sound worse than they were. In reality they’d kill it as quick as possible if they could. He’d say anything to get her to give up Ramsey. 

“Of course I don’t, but some hunters I know care a lot about the people that were killed. If I don’t collect this dog, they’ll come and collect her for me and they’ll be far less inclined to sit and chat over hot beverages.” Crowley explained

“Tell me about these hunters.” Y/n asked, genuinely interested. "I assume you're not referring to people who shoot buck in their free time."

“Let them come.” Y/n spoke after quietly mulling over what was just told to her. Whether she was underestimating these hunters or just didn’t believe what Crowley was telling her he was unsure. “She may be in a weakened state now but she’ll get better. She’ll get stronger and when she does I’ll be the only one who can stop her. If they show up, I’ll be ready and they’ll have to go through me. When they get through me, she’ll be ready for them too.”

“Y/n I know you think-” Y/n cut off the demon king, her patience wearing thin. She had all the leverage she needed in this situation and she knew it “You said I was the only one who could control her. Now I don’t know how or why that is, but that means there’s nothing stopping me from sicking the dog on you. If she really is as vicious and dangerous as you claim she is, I would be afraid of the one person who can send her after you. I’m telling you to walk away. I’m giving you an out. I strongly suggest you take it.”

Thinking about it later though, she was actually kind of sexy. She knew she held the power and the leverage in that situation and she knew how to use it. Not only that but she was bold enough to try and intimidate not just any king, but the King of Hell. And she didn’t need to raise her voice once while doing it. She was clearly a strong, intelligent, woman. He liked that.

~

After he was gone, y/n was in fact a little freaked out. If there was a hell that meant there was a heaven. Would she be going to hell just for harboring this animal? And better question; how do you even properly care for a hellhound? She imagined it would be a lot different from taking care of your average, run of the mill Pitbull.

Crowley stood his ground, calling her bluff. He didn’t believe she would actually do it. “Ramsey!” Y/n called “Ramsey c’mere girl!” she whistled as the Hellhound came barreling from upstairs “Ramsey, hurry up! Go get him! Get the demon!” Y/n told Ramsey in the same sickeningly sweet baby voice most humans use to talk to animals they find cute. Before she could get to him though, Crowley had disappeared into thin air.

After hours spent searching on the internet y/n got her first lead. Okay so it wasn’t really a lead. It was more of an idea. It’s not like she could just log onto wikipedia and pull up a page on 'How to take care of a Hellhound'. She did however find instructions for summoning and trapping a crossroads demon. She didn’t realize there were different types of demons but to her, a crossroads demon was still a demon so good enough right?

Late that night y/n put Ramsey in the car with her and drove to the nearest crossroads. Spray painting a ‘devils trap’ in the road she buried a box in the center. It contained a photo of her, some graveyard dirt, and the bone of a black cat. No, she didn’t go out and kill a cat. She was able to get that from a wiccan shop on the outskirts of town.

After burying the box, she stood and read the incantation she had written on a scrap of paper “Daemon, esto subjecto voluntati meae!” She waited a moment and when nothing happened she thought she might've gotten a word wrong. That was until she heard a woman speak behind her “What can I do for you tonight?”

Jumping a bit she turned to face the demon. “I just need some information.”

.....To be continued....

[outerbankslut]

Here For You... JJ Maybank

Summary • One afternoon after seeing a certain blond pogue hurt you are left confused and worried for him. So you set out to figure out exactly whats happened to him or more like what happens behind the closed doors of the Maybank residence.

Warnings • Swearing. Cannabis abuse. Mentions of abuse(from the show)-And please if you’re going through anything like that please talk to someone. My doors always open if you need to talk <3

Word Count • 4.3k (Imagine)

Masterlist

(GIF isn’t mine, let me know if it’s yours)

    FLOUR ENCASED YOUR clothing as you finally slid the greased up tray into the oven, dusting your hands off after. John B and your friends were out on the boat for the day which you declined to have the day to yourself to bake cookies and do homework in peace without the likes of John B your brother and JJ your best friend. He stayed around a lot and at this point he basically lived there but you didn't mind. Truth be told, you had a big fat crush on the boy. But it was the opposite of all teenage love stories. He didn't love you back. You often found yourself happy to wake up and see the boy sitting around the house drinking beer or smoking a joint. He gave a sense of comfort in the house that felt so empty without your dad.

You and John B being twins shared most things—one being friends. You had known the blond since you were in third grade, and that was when the crush bloomed but you could tell by his constant hookups he didn't know nor reciprocate those feelings. He only thought of you as a friend.

Then there was Pope. Occasionally you worked down at his dads shop for extra money for rent if your uncle didn't come through with it as well as groceries since he didn't seem to care if you or John B starved. Pope was the sweetest and smartest boy you had met. When your brother refused to show you how to drive a boat the Pope showed you on delivery once. Though it got you in trouble with Heyward when you turned back up late to the shop.

And Kiara. She was a Kook. Got a taste of both sides of the jungle. The kooks didn't sit well with her so she ended up an honorary pogue. She was your best friend as soon as she joined the group since you'd never had a girl to talk to since your mum left and your house was filled with boys.

You sighed as you settled down atop the counter looking at your phone as you added a timer since the one on the oven was broken. It was all quiet apart from the low hum of the oven fan until a door was shoved open and stumbling footsteps walked round the house.

Everyone else was on the boat, so who the hell was this?

You picked up the wooden base ball bat from that leaned on the wall just in case and held your phone ready to call 911 and inched towards where the sound was coming from.

And the bathroom light was on, you furrowed your eyes brows in confusion.

Then when you pushed open the door you caught a flash of golden blond locks as the boy quickly turned around putting his shirt on quickly.

"JJ?"

A bruise had formed just beneath his eye and along his cheek bone, mixed arrays of blues and purples splashed with the cream colour of his skin. You gasped as you saw it. His lip was busted and there was a small cut just above his eyebrow.

You reached forward to get a better look at his face as you finger lightly grazed over the bruise and he flinched away slightly making you frown.

"Sorry." You pulled away looking at the boy who had nothing to say in that moment but normally was not the quiet type. "Wait, why are you here? I thought you were on the boat with the others."

"I decided not to go today. I—um, had to help out my dad with some stuff at home." His voice wavered as he spoke leading you to believe he was keeping something. Then he turned his eyes to you. "What about you? Didn't think anyone would be here."

"I have homework to do. But that's beside the point. What happened to your face?"

He panicked. You couldn't know. As much as he wanted to wrap his arms around you and just stay there forever in your safe arms he couldn't. He couldn't drag you into his mess of a life. If would be best if you stayed just outside of it. You couldn't get hurt because of him.

"Homework. And I thought Pope was the nerd." He was deflecting. You rolled your eyes at the act. Something was definitely up. If this was just a small run in with Rafe other other Kooks then why would he be hiding that?

You sighed deciding not to question him for a second. Though you wanted to know who did it so you could punch them, he could tell you in his own time.

"I can help clean you up, got some frozen peas in the freezer. And some antiseptic wipes for that cut. But after that I want to know what happened."

"You know, I forgot I've got to get back to work and stuff. I'll see you later, Lu." He rushed past you away from the bathroom he had sought refuge in, where he thought he was alone but the prying eyes of Lucie Routledge never once left his.

"Wait, JJ!"

But he didn't stop. He carried on until he was perched on his bike and you were walking down the porch stairs.

He ignored you pulling on his helmet though when doing so his shirt rode up slightly and you got a glimpse of how bad it really was. How bad his homelife was. Though you didn't connect the dots just yet.

You gasped with a hand over your mouth seeing bruises all down his side, a messy painting of purples, blues and greens mashed together. But before you could say anything he sped away leaving you in your thoughts about what the hell happened.

The rest of the night you filled the out the pit in your stomach with chocolate chip cookies and empty thoughts. Since then you couldn't concentrate on your homework having given up an hour ago just when John B came back with Pope and Kie.

Your brother barrelled into your room a cookie in hand and jumped onto your bed as you winced hoping it didn't break.

"Did you guys have a good day?"

"Yeah. Especially since you weren't there." He joked taking a hefty bite of the cookie just as you threw your pillow his way.

He noticed your expression after that. You were distracted and confused and seemed distant.

"What's up with you?"

You sent him a puzzled look. "Nothings up with me. I don't know what you're talking about."

He rolled his eyes before standing up and messing up your hair with his hand which you promptly slapped away. "Well if you want to talk then I'm just next door."

Except you weren't part of the thoughts plaguing your mind. It was JJ.

    THE NEXT DAY when everyone was round at the Chateau JJ didn't even look at you. His gaze was focused either on the ground or towards whoever was speaking except from you. You could never get him alone to talk to him since he made sure you were never alone in a room and would spark up a conversation with literally anyone before you could utter a word.

It was midday and you were out on the HMS pogue with them all sitting next to Kie. John B was fishing, JJ was smoking as usual on the other side of the boat, Pope was reading and Kie was on her phone while you were braiding your hair. If the others weren't here you would definitely be able to cut the tension between you and JJ with a knife. If he was going to ignore you for wanting to help him then so would you. Two can play at that game.

The others could sense something was wrong though and were choosing to ignore it. They could tell since JJ had only flirted with Kie all day. He'd willingly had a conversation about science stuff with Pope. And none of them had seen either of you speak a word to each other.

As you sat with your eyes covered by sunglasses and body clad in a purple bikini you heard a squeal emitting from beside you and turned to see John B tipping fish out of a net right next to you and Kie and you felt a small splash on your legs of water from the dead Sea life.

"Nice haul, dude. Look at that." JJ commented.

Kie grimaced scouting away as she moaned at the boy for putting it so close to her. "Ugh, John B."

"Been all bait for, like, three weeks." Then John B threw a fish at JJ landing beside him.

"Gross."

Then your brother turned to you holding a fish in his hand and you scooted further away practically laying on Kie. "John B, do not thr—"

You were interrupted by the slimy fish landing on your lap after it had hit your face. JJ erupted with laughter at that as you narrowed your eyes. Practically the only interaction he had today with you. You narrowed your eyes on JJ before turning to John B and throwing the fish back at him as he ran to the other side of the boat.

Then JJ tackled down at the bow of the boat laughing before Pope jumped on top and Kie joined.

"Incoming." You yelled as you flopped down on the four people pile hearing groans in response with muffled laughter.

"I think you guys squished my organs." John B muttered as JJ nodded but you couldn't help but lie there and wish that this would be the way your life was for ever. The boat adventures, surfing, island life and doing whatever the fuck you wanted.

"Uh... Lu?" Kie muttered nudging your side and you jumped off realising you had just been sitting and staring into space. You noticed JJ wincing slightly as you all got up and felt guilty. Though he did jump into it himself. Literally.

"Sorry."

"No problem, my lungs may no longer work but it's fine." John B said and you flicked him on the forehead when he sat up.

Kie looked to you as though she got an idea and smiled. "Food at the wreck? I've got a shift in like...an hour."

"Not gonna turn down food. Especially from the wreck my favourite place on earth."

"My dads not gonna give you a discount for ass kissing." Kie deadpanned to JJ who looked dejected as you laughed. "You can have leftovers from are lunch menu though if I can convince him."

"Score." He pumped his fist in the air and you rolled your eyes. This was going to be a long day if he kept this up.

    AT THE WRECK the table could not been more awkward. The only seats left were next to each other that both you and JJ were forced to take while the other three sat on the other side of the round table laughing and joking around. It was like they did it on purpose. You picked at the fries in the small basket while JJ entered the conversation and you kept mulling over yesterday. The thought of JJ hating you felt horrible—like you were about to throw up every passing second. It may seem an overreaction to him ignoring you all day but why else would he be. Maybe you did something yesterday. Maybe you said something wrong. Maybe you—

"Lu?" Kiara stared concerned from beside you. Maybe you'd been lost in your thoughts for too long.

"What's up?"

She pointed to your hand and you looked down to see in your ranting thoughts you hadn't paid much attention to anything else and had squished a few fries in your hand. "You murdered some poor fries." She pouted as you laughed.

"Oh. Oops." You dropped them into the basket and by impulse sent a fleeting glance towards JJ who stared at his own food eating slowly which was unusual for him.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine."

Kie nodded in response slowly not really believing you.

"Okay, well I have to go start my shift now. So I’ll see y'all later." You all waved goodbye to the Carrera girl before finishing your food and heading back out on the boat from the docks by the wreck.

First it was dropping Pope off at Heywards to help his dad and then you headed back to the chateau, a silence among you until your brother coughed awkwardly looking between the two off you.

"Okay, none of us said anything earlier but you guys are acting weird. First it was you guys not speaking a word to each other. Then it was your fry mass murder. What's going on?"

"Nothing." JJ shrugged nonchalantly. Yep absolutely nothing was wrong. It was all fine and dandy.

"Whatever you guys want to think." John B shrugged not pushing anymore.

Once you got back to the Chateau John B docked up the boat just as JJ walked off down the dock to the house. You sighed. Could you give him anymore time? This couldn't go on for much longer. Surely.

    HE WAS STILL ignoring you the next day and it was just pissing you off now. So you stormed out to the porch where he had laid himself across the couch smoking. John B was out at work so it was just the two of you there and he was actively avoiding you.

"JJ!"

Still nothing. So you did something he would definitely respond to. You went up to him and before he realised, you had snatched the joint from his fingertips.

"Hey!"

"So now you talk to me." He scowled before attempting to take the joint back but you moved backwards sending concerned eyes to his rigid figure. "I'm worried about you JJ. You come in with bruises and avoid telling me why or letting me help you and then you ignore me all day yesterday. What's going on?"

His eyes softened as he focused his gaze on you and ran a hand through his hair turning around. And just when you thought he was going to open up to you he stopped the softness in his eyes dissipating into emptiness.

"What’s wrong is you just don’t know when to let off. You need to mind your own business Lu. You’re fucking annoying getting in everyone’s business all the time.” His voice was angry but it didn’t reach his eyes. The frustration didn’t reach those baby blue eyes. In fact they were filled with a sea of guilt and regret. But it was done now. He couldn’t go back now. And he knew he’d royally fucked up when he saw your face melt into a melancholy frown. But what did he expect?

So it was your fault. You were too nosey? But you were truly just worried about your friend. Is that a crime?

“Are you joking or something?” You laughed to ease the tension but the coldness in his face didn’t break. “You’ve been mad at me because I care? Your my friend, of course I care. I’m not going to apologise for getting into your business if it means that you’re okay.”

“It’s getting unbearable! You’re getting unbearable and annoying. I can’t—I just needed—need a break! So forgive me for not wanting to talk to you today! Because no one asked you to help them, it’s not your fucking place!”

“I know no one asked thats just what you do as a friend. You support them no matter what. Those bruises are clearly from something bad if you don’t want me to know. So I’m sorry someone actually fucking cares about you JJ!” Your voice raised towards the end but then cracked at the tears building in your throat suffocating you.

It broke JJ. He was causing this. He was the idiot that made you think you were anything less than amazing. But it was for your own good. Right?

Your best friend and unrequited love, thinks your unbearable and annoying and intrusive. And yet had never mentioned it all this time.

“I just need a break for a bit, I need you to leave me alone for a bit and so I can cool off. Is that too hard for you?!”

“What? Our friendship? You can’t just put something like that on hold. You can go fuck yourself cause when your ‘ready’ and ‘cooled off’ I won’t fucking care. Find yourself some new friends who don’t care about you cause it won’t be hard for me to leave you the fuck alone!” You spat at him. Was it too harsh? You were scared it was but he was harsh first. He didn’t say anything after. Just stayed quiet as you scoffed, salty tears sliding down your cheeks.

"You're a fucking asshole JJ Maybank." You shook your head and shoved past the boy. Your mind had completely forgotten about the bruises now. If he wanted to stay out of his business then so be it. You would remove him completely from your life.

The rest of the day you lounged around the house. After the argument you hadn't given JJ his joint back so you got high the rest of the time and it helped. For a few hours and then you were back to mourning your friendship. Thinking about all the good times you’d had. All the times when he didn’t seem to hate you. The blond hadn't resurfaced. He left just after the argument going somewhere but obviously you didn't ask.

It was days after that and you were laying in your bed that was pressed up beside the window and staring at the sky thinking about the blonds words over and over.

A loud knock startled you out of your gaze and you looked down to see the figure of the boy you had been thinking about all day. Your eyes settled on him narrowed and blazing until you saw his face. Littered with more bruises than the day before. More than you could count.

He stood looking so much smaller than any other time than you had seen him. His eyes were watery and red and you could see him trembling slightly. You immediately wanted to take him into your arms and hug him tight. But would he want to?

You quickly went and opened your window allowing him in as you scooted backwards in your bed. When he got in you immediately went and hugged him not even asking for an explanation this time. He was upset and hurt and what he needed then was comfort not an interrogation.

As soon as your arms wrapped around his body he shook with sobs his tears running down your shoulder.

You rubbed his back and made soothing circles as tears of your own leaked out. After 10 minutes he moved away looking down not feeling like he could even look you in the eye after earlier and him crying to you.

"I'm so sorry, Lu. I didn't mean to hurt you and I didn't mean anything I said. I just didn't want you to know. I didn’t want you to know—to see how weak I was. I wanted to push you away so you wouldn't get involved in my messed up life." You nodded slowly as more tears fell. Tears of relief but also sadness. Sad that he didn’t think he could come to you. To confide in you and that instead he pushed you away in the worst way possible hurting you both.

JJ felt like shit. Emotionally and physically. He couldn’t believe what he had done to you days earlier. It was like his mind was in autopilot not allowing you to do anything by watch as you both argued.

He still avoided your gaze until you softly put a hand under his chin lifting his gaze to your as you smiled sadly at him. "It's okay J. I just wanted to make sure you were okay so I could help or stop it somehow. But right now there's more important things than that and I need to get some first aid stuff."

Just as you got up his hand reached out to yours holding it softly and stopping you in your tracks.

"It was my dad."

You froze tears gathering at the hoarseness of his voice and the crack that echoed when he said it. His dad. Though you never liked Luke Maybank, you never thought he would stoop this low. Beating his own child. It would take a lot of willpower not to go over there and give him a taste of his own medicine. The one person that’s supposed to take care of him. To love him. Beats him instead.

You didn't say anything except hug him once more time. Holding him tight but careful around the bruises areas. The thought of his dad putting those bruises and scars all over his body made you sick to your stomach. How dare he. How dare he think he had any right to lay a hand on his child like that.

You left when he sat perched on the edge of your bed no longer crying. It broke your heart since JJ was a tough nut to crack half the time. But this was obviously going to be his breaking point. It would be anyone’s.

You gathered all the thing you'd need and took JJ to the bathroom careful not to wake John B as you did.

"Tell me if it hurts okay?" He nods and you take an antiseptic wipe towards the new cut on his cheek dabbing it gently to clean it. There was another cut on his arm and his split lip which you cleaned as well as the boy stared at you intently. You felt redness spread across your cheeks as you finally looked into his eyes.

"What?" You asked and he just shook his head a small smile appearing.

"I'm just realising how much of an idiot I was pushing you away this morning. Your my best friend—no you're more than that and I shouldn't have done that I just didn't want to get you caught up in this mess."

"Exactly JJ. I'm your best friend. A best friend is meant to be there for you in moments of weakness or through things like this. I don't care about being caught up in all this I just care about you. I’m here for you. Always." You carried on cleaning his open wounds carefully. JJ realises in that moment. You were the one person who stood by him when he got beat up in 4th grade by a bully or when people were hanging up on him and you stood up for him. You stuck around when he did crazy shit that the others didn’t stick around for. He realised that as much as you were there for him, he wanted to be there for you. He wanted to be loved by you. Not by his lowlife dad. Or his random Touron hookups. He wanted them to be you. Always you. He loved you.

"I love you." He spurted out and you stifled a gasp as you stood silently, your hand frozen in air millimetres from his face as you stared at each other. The way he said it didn’t sound like just a friend I love you. It sounded like something more. Some more which you reciprocated but you didn’t think there would ever be a day when he would say that.

"I love you too." You laughed it off.

"No Lu, I—I love you more than a friend."

“I love you more than a friend too. JJ Maybank.” His eyes widened in happiness the corners of his lip turning up and stretching as he grinned despite his split lip.

He looked like he couldn't believe it. But you had been crushing on him for longer than you could remember but you always thought it was one way. That he thought of you like a sister or something.

But maybe this whole time you had both been oblivious to each other’s blatant feelings. At least it was out now.

He placed two hands softly on your cheeks and gently pulled you in closer smashing your lips together. You could taste the metallic blood of his cut as your tongues brushed over each other’s but you didn’t care. You both pulled away breathless as you smiled into his touch. JJ looked dazed. Though the thoughts of his injuries still plagued your mind as you pulled away running out of the room to get an ice pack and some tylenol.

The bruises running down his body made you more angry by the second. But you couldn’t be blinded by that. Keeping a level head for the boy was what was important.

When you came back the boy grinned shaking his head.

“You didn’t need to get me that. What we just did was enough of a pain reliever. Though it did make me wanna relieve myself in another way if you—”

“JJ. No.” He pouted as you said that like a sad puppy.

“Another time?”

“Yeah whatever.” You rolled your eyes but couldn’t help but smile. Somehow even through this JJ managed to smile and joke around. He had his bad days. Like the last. But he was strong. And you loved him for that. “I’m always here for you if you need me. In that way and any other way. Also you’re not going home.”

“Of course, Milady. Why don’t we go watch Netflix and—”

“Do not finish that J.”

“Awe, come on.”

Note • This is so long Jesus. And it took me so long to finish writing and edit and I still kinda hate it but I don’t think it’ll get better than this. Oh well. Oh I forgot that when I was writing it I gave them a name rather than y/n and I cba to change it now.

[be-ready-when-i-say-go]

Becoming

Halloween is Bee’s favorite holiday and while for most people it’s focused on becoming something new, transforming into fantasies, it is for others about becoming who they really are. 

Related to Silver Fox. Can be read alone. SingleDad!Cal+ Halloween + Cuteness.

Read Silver Fox Here. 

Enjoy my masterlist. 

Support me on Ko-Fi. 

********************

Anahera reads over the text several times, exits the text messaging app, reopens it and still shocks finds her when the text does not disappear. Halloween party on Saturday, 8pm You’re invited. Costume contest too! This isn’t a text message that she should’ve gotten--Anahera played on the school’s field hockey team but she wasn’t that popular to get a text message from Chelsea. Chelsea was on the school’s cheerleading team, up next for captain once the current senior graduated. They worked together once on a physics project and exchanged numbers only to talk about who would do what and to meet after school to run the lab. But that was pretty much the existent of their interactions, besides saying hi in passing in the hallways. 

But here Chelsea was texting Anahera about a Halloween party. Looking up from her phone, Anahera risks a quick glance to her father. He stands outside the car, phone pressed to his ear. A call came in right as Anahera walked up to the car. He paused long enough to greet her and ask how she was doing but he had to return to the call pretty quickly after that. Her practice ran long--mostly because their coach was getting on their case about two girls that got into a physical fight in school and thus were benched for two games. Her dad’s not the type to be overly strict about her going out. But he was a small bit of a worrier and liked to know the parents or at least have their numbers. 

Anahera turns back to her phone and pulled up Levi’s thread. Did you get an invite to a Halloween party on Saturday?

It’s only a couple of moments before Levi replies. Yeah. ‘rents already said yes. What about you?

Levi was the last child in a line of four, so it was never really a shock that their parents let them do pretty much anything as long as they could say who they were going with and what time they were going to be back home by. Anahera glances back out to the window and notices Calum nodding along to whatever is being said. When they catch eyes, Calum puffs up his cheeks and crosses his eyes just to get a laugh out of her. Anahera shakes her head with a small chuckle and sticks her tongue out in return before returning to her phone. 

Haven’t asked yet. Afraid he’s going to say no. 

Your dad’s not like that. Let him know you’re going with me. My curfew is midnight. Dan’s on dial too--just in case. 

Dan was nice, and even though he was the oldest of their siblings, he wasn’t big on partying. He was quiet, played video games mostly and occasionally went out. But as the only one with a car, he became the go to one for rides to and from places or as a quick line of defense. Anahera normally had a curfew around eleven. However, if she led the question with Levi’s plans and Dan being their ride, then her dad might be more flexible about extending the curfew. Anahera would also have to promise that her homework would be done Friday night because if she didn’t, Calum would certainly use that as a way to be hesitant. 

The only way to find out her answer is going to be just asking flat out. Leaning across the console, Anahera rolls down the window. The buzzing and whir catches Calum’s attention and he takes the phone from his ear. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I’ll be off in five and get you some dinner. I know you’re probably starving after practice.”

“Thanks. Um, actually I wanted to ask you if I could go to this party on Saturday. It’s at Chelsea’s. Levi’s going and they have to be back home by 12.”

“Halloween party?” Calum asks. 

Anahear nods. “I’ll have all my homework done on Friday. I’m already done with one essay and I think there’s a math set packet Mr. M is handing out on Thursday to help as extra study material for the test on Monday. And Bee’s already reading over my college essay so when I get the edits it’ll be like super quick.”

Calum sighs, hearing the voice on the line droning on. “Levi’s going? And their parents know Chelsea’s parents or have their number?”

“I-I don’t know. I just know Levi got the approval to go. Please, Dad. I can ask Chelsea tomorrow about the number thing. But please can I go? Dan’s on speed dial in case we need a ride.”

Calum holds her gaze, mouth twisting up. Bee had asked what Calum and Anahera had planned to do for Halloween. Normally, the two of them dressed up and handed out candy to the kids in the neighborhood that came by trick or treating on the day of Halloween and during the weekends, sometimes they went to haunted houses or Anahera hung out with Levi in her room, watching scary movies until ungodly hours in the morning. Anahera’s eagerness to go the party didn’t strick Calum was strange. She’s settled into her junior year, her birthday passing in September. However, Calum did start to miss things from before. Like the way Anahera always wanted to hang out with him and how they always had plans for Halloween. But things were changing. She was growing up and Calum was going to have to grow with that too. 

He nods. “Yeah, you can go. But,” he starts interrupting the squeal from Anahera, “the edits your college admission essay need to be done before you leave on Saturday. You’re not struggling in math too much, and I trust you with whatever you need to make sure you get a good grade on that test on Monday.” Anahera wants to apply early decision to a couple schools and the rest are regular decisions. Bee advised that it would be easier for her to finish the essays early and that way the only thing to stress about come the summer and start of senior year were getting the letters of recommendations. Though the essays that Anahera were drafting for college apps right now were samples/examples. Anahera wanted to have a bank of a couple different kinds that wouldn’t need too much extra work to fit to the questions before being submitted. 

Though Calum suggested that she not worry that not much closer until time, Anahera insisted that she wanted some practice and considering that the beginning of the semester wasn’t that congested with work, it worked out well. 

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” Anahera exclaims crawling over the console and hugging Calum through the open window of the car. 

“You’re welcome, sweetheart. Love you.” He knows he’s clinging a little too long but he doesn’t want to forget the way Anahera squeezed in her hugs. It was a trait she had since she was little and Calum’s not sure where she got it from. However, there was nothing like a hug from her--even when she was small and she sensed something was wrong, she would run up to him with her favorite toy at the time in her hand and squeeze him tight in a hug. She would always tell him not to be sad because she would always have hugs for him. 

“Love you too!” Anahera replies easily. 

Calum gets off the work call soon after that and climbs into the driver seat, or at least he attempts to. Anahera hasn’t left the driver side seat since getting the okay for her venture to the party. “Ma’am. I know you’re getting closer to that license but I think I’m still in charge of driving for just a little bit longer.”

Anahera laughs. “Oh c’mon, Pops. You know I can handle this no problem.” She over dramatizes taking a sharp turn, hands passing over each other and lightly brushing the cover of the steering wheel. She hasn’t tested yet but they get out early on the weekends for practice and Calum keeps encouraging her to test. It’s yet to happen, but he’s hopeful. 

“Maybe on Sunday you go for a spin. But it ain’t Sunday yet.”

Anahera looks to Calum with her brows raised. “Promise?”

“Promise.” They hook pinkies and she climbs back into the passenger seat. “Subs?”

“Oh, you know exactly what I was thinking. But that might just be that you’re my dad.”

“Maybe,” Calum laughs, “maybe.” 

Anahera relays the news to Levi about her approval to go to the party. Any costume ideas? I’m a giant nothing. Levi asks. Anahera thinks about usual superheroes, the sexy costumes. But those wouldn’t work out too well. 

Couples costumes? Or too lame? 

I love you, Ana. But I am not going in some dumb het. normative costume. 

Anahera snickers at the text. I didn’t mean like couple couple costume. But like matching/same universe or something. 

Oh, oh, hmm, that could work.

Stranger Things--Scoops Ahoy Steve and Robin? That message comes through at the same time that Levi suggest pirates. Oh, pirates could be cool? We’d have to get to the mall to shop possibly. but I promised to have homework done before Friday. 

“Wanna eat inside or get it to go?” 

Ana looks up and sees that the car is parked outside their favorite Italian place. Anahera shrugs and unbuckles. “It’s everyone else’s problem if I stink, not mine.”

Calum laughs. “That’s why there was the option to not kill everyone with your funk.” He locks the doors, taking a quick glance at the parking lot. He doesn’t spot Bee’s car. He know she doesn’t take too many hours at the restaurant during the week, but occasionally she takes a few or she comes in when they need more help. He wasn’t sure if she was working both jobs or not. But given the number of cars in the parking lot, he can’t really get a good look around. 

Inside is crowded. Though most people seem to be getting orders to go, lined up at the counter as compared to the pretty empty dining area. Calum and Anahera stand the podium to be seated for a couple moments. Anahera is buried in her phone while Calum glances around. He spies Bee at the counter, handing over a stack of three pizza boxes to a man. The woman he’s with comes up and takes the bag Bee hands over. “Just two?” a voice close by cuts in. A younger guy who Calum hasn’t seen before stands in front of them. 

Calum turns with a nod. “Yes, just two.”

“Booth or table?” the young man asks. 

“Booth,” Anahera returns with a smile and follows behind as they’re escorted to the booth. Calum throws one last glance back to the counter. Bee happens to glance up and throws a small wave which Calum returns. 

“Can I start you all out with something to drink?” the young man asks, pen in hand. 

“Water,” Calum answers, slipping the sunglasses up into his hair and Anahera replies with the same. 

The young man nods. “Lemon on the side okay?” With nods all the way around, he starts over to the drink mission. 

Anahera turns directly to the sub and sandwiches section of the menu. “See your boo,” Ana teases glancing up for a moment. 

Calum shakes his head, cheeks heating for a split second at the tease. He and Bee have been dating for a little seven months. Anahera wasn’t shocked after discovering the hickies that fated day but she never fails to say that she’s the thing that brought them together.  “Yeah, I saw her,” Calum returns. “So about this party? You and Levi know what your costumes are going to be? Like going in something matching or separate?”

“We’re thinking about something matching. They suggested pirates or something but I don’t think I have anything in my closet that could work and I would ask to go shopping on Saturday before the party but I wasn’t sure how that was going to go over.”

“Hmm, if you needed to borrow anything from me, you could. Or if Levi wanted too, they could as well. And it comes down too, I could take y’all Friday after school.That would give you Saturday morning to work too and then get ready. Or whatever works better.”

“Thanks, Dad. I’ll let them know.” Anahera works her fingers over the screen, the keys highlighting for a second before dropping back down to their normal size. “And thanks. For offering to take Levi and offering your closet.”

Calum knows Levi’s parents haven’t super well to their coming out and using they/them pronouns. However, Levi’s siblings have defended them and Anahera too. He wishes he could do a lot more. He’s tried to help as much as he can, being there for Levi when they need someone but he knows it’s not always the same--it’s not like having their actual parents being supportive. “Of course. You two have been friends since elementary school. Almost feels like a second child at this point--Levi’s family at this point.”

“You’re pretty awesome, Dad.”

“I can only ever do my best, sweetheart. That’s it.”

“Yeah, but your best is still pretty great.” She’s quick to return to her phone no doubt relaying everything to Levi. The waiter returns with their waters and runs down the specials for the day. Anahera orders her turkey panini with salad and fries. Calum overs the Philly cheese steak with just fries. 

“Hey guys,” Bee says as she stops by their table. The dinner rush has slowed for the time being. 

Calum tugs on her wrist and she falls into the side of the booth, his bumping against his side. His arm slides around her waist in a quick hug. “Shocked to see you here. Not even a Thursday, so you can’t tell me close to the weekend.”

“Terence’s books were more expensive this semester--so I’m trying to play catch up right now.”

“More expensive?” Calum questions, twisting in the booth to look up at her. Bee gives Anahera a quick hug before turning to stand at the edge of the table. “Why don’t you sit?”

“Boss is here today. Don’t want him complaining. And Terence signed up for an extra class, said he was going to be a class short if he didn’t fully load up his schedule. And it’s cheaper to do it now than it is to take the one class during the summer. I budgeted for right around 250 for books but the extra class was in English and it ran just under an additional 200 dollars just for that class.”

“Another 200 hundred?” Calum gaps. “You’re telling me you spent over 400 dollars in textbooks?”

“Just about 400 dollars. He’s looking for scholarships to help with textbooks. But with basketball it’s not like he can pick up a job. I need him focusing on his grade to keep the scholarship that he does have. The refund should help recover costs some but most of that I’m giving right back to Terence in installments.” 

Calum nods, knowing about how Bee likes to put money into Terrence’s account. She does it so that Terrence can take care of anything that comes up in case of emergency, but she know sometimes the team goes out for dinners and other things. He’s got to be a kid in college while still in college. What Calum didn’t realize is just how much Terrence didn’t know about what Bee did behind the scenes for him. Terrence came home for the summer, well before summer conditioning and they hung out, and Terrence knew Bee worked her ass off to help him but she hadn’t pulled the veil back to reveal just how much she busted ass to make his games, keep him afloat and never stressing about money. 

Calum respected that and never discussed money in front of Terrence. But part of him did want Terrence to know just how much Bee was working so that textbooks were the least of his worries. “You know I’m here, for anything,” Calum offers, wrapping his fingers around hers. 

Bee nods. “Thanks. I appreciate it. But get ready, you’re next,” she teases, laughing before glancing over to Anahera. “Once I get home I can send you my suggestions. They’re on my laptop and I didn’t bring it with me to this job.”

“Don’t worry, Bee. I appreciate you just taking the time to read over it.”

“Of course.” The bell above the door chimes and Bee turns, greeting the family that just entered letting them know she’ll be right over in a moment. “Alright, duty calls. Enjoy your dinner.”

Bee squeezes Calum’s hand and then turns on her heels to go to the podium. “How are we tonight? Besides just a smidge hungry?” Bee jokes, grabbing menus. The group laughs just a little bit before following Bee to a booth about three down from Calum and Anahera. 

“You think Bee would take me and Levi shopping?”

Calum perks up at the question. Anahera and Bee get along well but Bee’s careful about suggesting that she and Anahera spend time together. As Calum knows and understands, Bee doesn’t want to come across as being pushing or trying too hard but she doesn’t want to seem like she doesn’t care. They’ve gotten manicures together or gone out just for ice cream--it’s always been small things. However, Anahera seems to enjoy that time together. 

“Ask, can’t hurt. If her schedule allows, I think she’d be happy to take you and Levi,” Calum answers. He bites down on the corner of his lip to contain a small portion of his smile. Bee’s been the one to schedule most of their activities together or at least initiate them. But seeing Anahera take the lead on this one is a good sign. 

“Oh, you’re right. She might be working. I don’t want to make her feel bad if she’s working?” Anahera enjoys the time she’s spent with Bee. When they got the gel manicures, it was fun. Bee picked out Anahera’s color and they were able to sit next to each other as they talked about watching True Crime documentaries and Ana told her all about the new music she had been listening too. Bee was cool about all the jokes Anahera made, and once their colors cured under the UV lights, Anahera spent nearly thirty minutes sitting outside the shop just showing Bee all the videos and memes that she had saved recently. 

Bee felt like her dad’s girlfriend, but she also felt like someone that cared about Anahera too. It was a nice feeling to have another girl to talk about things that just got it. And whatever Anahera didn’t want to go back to Calum, didn’t get back to him. Anahera mentioned to Bee before Calum about Levi and what was happening at home for them. Anahera begged Bee not to say anything to her dad. Not that she thought Calum wouldn’t be understanding but because Anahera just didn’t want to out her best friend to someone they weren’t ready to be out too. However,  when Anahera needed someone to talk to about Levi, Bee was gracious and patient and promised not to breathe a word to Calum. So when Levi came over for the first time to come out, while Bee and Calum were  fixing dinner, Bee’s reaction was like she had heard the news for the first time. Calum was shocked but grateful to know and the change was immediate, though a little bumpy at first. Anahera called Bee later that night to thank her for being supportive of her best friend. 

Also in terms of pirate costuming, as much as Anahera adores her dad, she knew only Bee would get her vision for her costume and be able to help her. Also Bee could also help Levi put together their costume so that the two of them matched but still kept a distinct air to the both of them.

Bee passes their table right after they get their orders with a tray full of drinks for the table that she has. However on the second pass by, Anahera manages to snag her attention. “Do you work Saturday morning?”

Bee ponders for a moment. “I work here starting at 2. What’s up?”

“I got invited to this Halloween party and Levi and I want to go as pirates. But we both need a few things to help with our outfits. Would you mind taking us and helping us out?”

The grin that breaks across Bee’s face is so big Calum’s sure her cheeks are going to split right there on the spot. “Yeah, I’d love to. Mall opens at 9. How does 10 sound? Would that time work for them as well?”

“I can ask.”

“Text me whatever works best, okay. I’ll pick you up first and then we’ll swing and get Levi.”

Anahera nods and turns back to her salad just as Bee turns back and continues down to the kitchen. “So I’m getting the boot I guess.”

“I guess you can come too. Do you and Bee have plans?”

“Bee asked if we had plans. I told her our normal plans are using dressing up and doing a little decorating to hand out candy or you watching movies with Levi but now that’s different. So I’m not even sure.”

“Just remember, I’m coming back home at midnight sharp.” Once or twice, Anahera’s caught the embarrassing glimpse of a kiss getting pretty heavy. That’s enough, she doesn’t want to see anything more than that. 

Calum gapes for a moment around the sip of his water. “Missy, who’s the parent here?” Anahera goes quiet, shoveling the last bite of her salad into her mouth. “That’s what I thought.” With their dinner finish and check paid, Calum and Anahera slip out from the booth. They both say goodbye to Bee before leaving. Anahera promises to text Bee the second she gets a time that works well before 2. 

It’s only later in the night, after Calum gets a text from Bee that she got home safely that he calls her. She doesn’t answer immediately. However about 20 minutes later, his phone rings from her. “Hey,” he says settling into the pillows. Tammy’s curled up on his lap. The click of paws outside the door alerts Calum that Anahera’s moving around the house and Jake’s following right behind her. “How was your day?”

“Pretty good. The restaurant was crazy when I walked in but the rest of the night calmed down. How was your day?”

“Nothing too grand until I surprisingly ran into you,” he chuckles softly into the receiver. “I just want to say thank you for agreeing to take Anahera and Levi shopping. That-that means a lot to me.”

“No need to thank you, Cal baby. But you’re so welcome. I love Ana and Levi. I’d do whatever I could for them.”

“No, I do need to thank you. I know you’re working hard to cover what you had to spend on Terrence’s books but you taking the time to spend with my daughter and her best friend--it says a lot more about your character than anything.”

“Thank you, Calum. That means a lot.”

“Of course.”

“With Anahera and Levi going to the party, are you just going to hang out on Halloween?”

“I guess. I don’t know. Unless of course you’d like to spend some time together after work if you’re not too tired of course.”

“I’m only working a 5 hours shift. I picked up part of someone else’s shift. So if you wanted to do something after 7, we can. Your neighborhood’s plenty active right? Like you hand out candy and what not?”

“Yeah, there’s enough kids that come out. Would you want to dress up? I totally get if you don’t want to, with work and everything.”

“I would love to dress up! Halloween’s my favorite. But once Terrence got too old to trick-or-treat, I kinda didn’t have much reason to do a lot. The apartment complex does like a small thing for the kids, but nothing like the neighborhood I was in before Terrence and I moved.”

“Might I crash the shopping party on Saturday? I know depending on how long it takes you might have to duck out before things finish but while they shop for their costumes you and I can plan something too.”

“Sure, you can crash the shopping party. Do you decorate?”

“Used to when Anahera was younger. Not a lot much inside. It’s more outside decoration for the kiddos as they come up to the door.”

“Well I look forward to a fairly spooped out house. Trick or treating starts around 6 so I’ll miss the first hour but after my shift ends, would it be okay if I just came directly to your place and changed? What time is the party for Anahera and Levi?”

“Yeah, sure you can come straight to my place. Their party starts at 8 and Levi’s brother Dan is dropping them off at the party and dropping them Ana back off afterwards. Or at least I need to make sure that’s the plan. Even if I have to drop her off, if you come to my place, trick or treaters can still get their candy fill while I drop her off.”

“Okay, cool. Thank you.” A yawn cuts off the last little bit of the sentence. “God, sorry.”

“It’s been a long day. I get it. Get some rest, babe.”

“Wait, I gotta email Anahera. Stay on the line with me until I finish that. Then I can go night-night.”

Calum chuckles at the repetitive phrase. It reminds of when Anahera was younger. He’t tuck her in at night with a kiss to her forehead and a sweet bid of “Night-night. Sweet dreams,” without fail. And it appears that even though children might grow out of the phrase, parents never do. “Okay, I’ll stay on until you do that. Do you have any costume ideas?”

“Something witchy. Or vampires. Or we can go with something with a bit more gore. I think I have some special effects makeup left in that kit.”

“I know you said Halloween is for favorite but for someone that doesn’t celebrate like before, I’m a little lost on why you have a kit.”

“Library holds some special readings every quarter. Theme was fairytales so we dressed up and used some special effects for some wrinkles for the old fairy godmother. And I just got the big kit because I figured it would last for more than reading. There’s some fake blood in it too. I like to have all my options.”

Calum hums, the pillows surrounding him starting to pull him into sleep as well. Just closing his eyes won’t hurt. It’s quiet for a moment, faintly he can hear the taps and clicks of Bee on her computer. “Oh, what about something with Bonnie and Clyde?”

“Like them dead? Because I think I could be down.” The sentence is a little slow to fall from Bee’s lips. 

“Hmm yeah maybe.”

“Thanks for staying up with me even though we both about to pass out.”

“Anything for you.”

“Goodnight, Calum.”

“Hey, that’s a good night-night and sweet dreams to you, Bee.” She laughs softly into the receiver and it’s the only sound Calum distinctly remembers hearing too. 

Friday night Anahera is sure to show Calum her changes to the essay and when he nods, kissing the top of her head, Ana tries to hold back her excitement. She and Levi have talked about their costumes. Though Levi’s unsure of if they should go with a vest or not. They don’t have one and buying one would be pointless just for the one costume. Anahera suggests if they find one cheap they could add it to the costume without fear of not necessarily wearing it out again. 

Calum agrees to drive separately from Bee, Anahera, and Levi when Saturday rolls around. The second Bee showed up Anahera dove into the vision she and Levi had for the costumes and what they both already have in their closest. Calum catches wind of a skirt and he waits for a moment unsure if that’s a smart idea. However, Bee is quick to suggest fishnets in addition to the skirt. Fishnets isn’t the answer he would’ve given, but Calum knows this is not his time into the court and let’s Bee take the lead on how to best handle wearing a skirt to a party that Calum’s almost certain alcohol may sneak its way into the mix. He knows he can’t shield Anahera forever from the world but he definitely doesn’t want her introduction to be harsh. Amongst the glimpses of conversations that he catches about the skirt, he catches onto the addition of shorts underneath too and lets out a tiny sigh of relief. 

Levi hangs back as Bee and Anahera enter the first store. Calum lingers back with them.“Skipping this one?” Calum asks. It’s an H&M and there’s no doubt in Calum’s mind that they can find something here. They mentioned wanting either a jacket or the vest and then needing a thick belt or fabric to help with their look. They already have the white button up, jeans and boots for the costume. 

“I-It’s a lot easier to like look online at clothes.” The confession leaves Levi’s lips softly. Calum nods, understanding that online no one says anything if they switch between men or women’s. However, the physical stores has to be a whole different ballgame, the anxiety about looks that people might give tot hem. 

“If you want, I’ll stick with you. Whichever section, I can be right there.”

“You-you don’t have too, Mr. Hood.”

“It’s Uncle Cal and you know that, Levi. Besides, you’re not Anahera’s best friend. You’re part of my family. So whatever you need me to do is out of love, not obligation.”

The tears collect on their lower lids. “You consider me family?”

“Always have, kid, and always will.” With an arm slung over their shoulder, Calum proposes a deal. “What if you help me with my costume and if we just happen to find something for you, then we just happen to find something for you? How does that sound?”

Levi gives Calum a quick hug before nodding. “Sounds-sounds good to me.”

“C’mon. I think I see a suit jacket that might be perfect for Clyde. But I need younger eyes because I forgot my glasses.” 

As the pair walks towards the suit jackets, Bee slides over and slips a few tissues into the palm of Calum’s hand. He hands them over to Levi and there’s a silent nod of recognition between all of them. Bee zips back over to Anahera, knowing that she had to talk the young girl out of the platform boots that Anahera doesn’t need considering the pair that she just got for her birthday. 

As Calum and Levi thumb through the blazers, Calum can see one particular red ornate blazer has caught their attention. So he plucks if off the rack, pulling the medium size one off the rack to start. He can’t quite gauge their size and he doesn’t want to ask someone to measure Levi. Holding the jacket open for Levi, Calum silently asks them to try it on. “I think it might look better on you than me. I think my days have passed. Besides the red blazer I have at home reads more captain than pirate. But it’s always a look you could go for.”

Levi slips their arms into the blazer. The sleeves swallow their arms and hits them too low on their legs. But the light is evident in their eyes as they look into the mirror on the wall. “Wow,” they breathe, turning to see what it looks like from the back. 

“I say we try the small. This is a medium.” Levi nods, slipping out of the jacket and taking the small from Calum. “This isn’t a tailored cut. Meaning it doesn’t cut in or cinch at the waist. This is a standard fit.” He straightens the collar out for them and grins at their smile. “Arms out straight in front of you,” he directs looking to see if the sleeves come up just a little or not all. They rise just a smidge. “Okay, reach up for the ceiling.” Levi does so without seeming restricted. “Is it tight anywhere?”

“No,” they return, shrugging their shoulders. “Not tight. It’s a little loose but like a good loose.���

“Fitted jackets and blazers can be harder to get in smaller sizes sometimes. If you want this, we can get it today and then after the party to get fitted a bit better, go to a tailor.”

“My parents would not be happy though,” Levi counters. 

Calum nods. “I know that’s rough. But what if for right now, we get this and if they ask, you tell your parents it’s mine and I let you borrow it for the costume. The next time you come for to visit Anahera, I can take you to get it properly fitted.”

“How would I get it back home? My parents don’t like spot check my room but they’d notice me with this kind of jacket.”

“You leave that to me. While it’s easy to say smuggle it in your backpack, they’ll wrinkle it. But trust, between Anahera and I, we’ll make sure you get it to your room undetected.”

“I don’t know Mr. Hood. Seems like a lot of trouble.”

The nerves are understandable and Calum does not want to push them to do anything they wouldn’t want to do. “Alternatively, you find a vest for the costume and Bee and I find some fabric that’s fancy and you use that to tie around your waist as as the glamour you and Ana want. The blazer’s a dream for when you feel safer.”

“Yeah, yeah I like that.” Levi slowly removes the blazer and puts it back onto the hanger. “There’s, uh, there’s this,” they state, lifting up a standard black denim like vest. 

“Okay, so something along that vibe. Gotcha.” Calum thumbs through the rack and pulls out a similar vest but this one has silver buttons and embellishments that make it feel a bit more elevated, more pirate-y. 

As Levi tries that one on, Calum texts Bee to grab the red blazer from off the end of the rack and add it to the pile that Anahera’s collecting. He promises to pay her back. Within a minute of the text sending, he watches Bee approach in the mirror and grab the blazer, quickly stashing it under the racks in her hand. There’s a yellow sweater on top and a few black items beneath it as well. 

“Lookin’ good, Levi!” Bee calls out, leaning behind the racks to make sure the blazer is concealed. 

Anahera isn’t far behind, dragging Levi over to the shoes. “You should get this vest,” she says before returning to her point about not knowing which sneakers to get. 

“They didn’t go for the blazer? It looked good,” Bee ponders quietly. 

“Worried about their parents blowing a fuse. But Christmas is coming up, so hopefully things are different then. If not, I think they’d still appreciate it. And I know if I wait, it’s going to be gone.”

“You’re right about that. Ana and I are done for Halloween. You might have to convince her she doesn’t need 80 pairs of the same shoe. But while you distract, I’ll check out.”

Calum nods, heading towards the clearance shoes where Anahera and Levi are huddled. “I’ll give you the money tonight.” 

Bee nods and makes a straight shot for the registers. After a trip to the fabric store for Levi’s belt, and a dive into Bee’s favorite hair care store to get headwraps for the both of them, Anahera and Levi are set for their costumes. Calum knows buried in his closet is a white dress shirt that he can throw on along with a black suit jacket, so he’s not too worried that he’s walking out the store empty handed. 

Bee looks down at her phone again, teeth capturing the skin of her lips--her boss at the restaurant texted if she can come in an hour earlier. She almost doesn’t take the extra hour but Calum assures that now the costumes are set, that if she needs to take the extra hour then she absolutely take it. None of them will be mad, or feeling like she’s dipping out just to get away. “You sure?” Bee asks Calum after relaying the predicament, watching as Levi and Anahera duck in line for pretzels. “Ana’s not going to feel like I’m being mean or dodgy?”

“Babe. No. I don’t think so.” He kisses her forehead. “I know things are tight after the textbook fiasco. If you need to take the extra hour, do it.”

“I’ll keep the blazer in my bag and then bring it back to your place after they leave for the party.”

“Okay.” 

She gives her quick goodbyes with hugs to Anahera and Levi, before kissing Calum softly goodbye and backtracking to the opposite end of the mall, where they parked. The shopping continues for a little bit longer, but Calum doesn’t linger too much allowing them their space. They agree to reconvene outside the sporting goods store in an about hour. 

It’s a dangerous game to duck into one of the jewelry stores. Calum’s not even looking for himself and it sounds crazy and too soon for thoughts of a ring cross his mind. But he tells himself he can just browse, just fantasy about what that might be like. 

“Who you looking for?”

He turns to the voice and see Anahera saddled up beside him. “You two have another like half an hour to be free.”

“Not much else here,” she returns. “Looking for Bee? Is her birthday soon or something?”

“Just looking,” Calum returns with a shrug, trying not to draw too much suspicion. 

“Ana, look!” Levi calls out, waving their hand to beckon her closer. “It’s an anklet like you were looking at in the other store.”

Anahera ducks over, just to look. Soon they leave the mall. Levi asks if they can just get changed at Calum’s place which is an easy yes. Calum takes Anahera and Levi for a quick lunch before Levi grabs their costume, an overnight bag and their backpack from their house. Tammy and Jake run up from the depths of the house to greet all of them. The pets and scratches are happily received.  “So scary movies to pregame for the party tonight? What’s on the agenda?” Calum asks. 

“I should do the World History homework before the party,” Levi starts, laughing a little. 

“But we probably will watch scary movies,” Anahera finishes. 

“Go figure,” Calum agrees. “So what time should I pick you both up tonight? Or is Dan still your main man?”

“Dan said he’d pick us up from the party and just drop us off here. He said he was going to be out at that time anyway,” Levi relays. 

“He won’t be drinking?”

“Nah, Dan doesn’t drink. I think some friends of his are also throwing a party and he’s used to being the DD. He said it was something about a mixer? I don’t really know. But we’ll text him when we’re ready. Is midnight still okay?”

“Mixers are just different clubs, or whatever, getting together,” Anahera cuts in. “Girls field hockey has them with the guys division and other sports after school sometimes. I assume college mixers are way different than ones in the high school gym though.”

“Yeah, midnight is still fine,” Calum answers. 

Once they return to the house, it’s fairly silent. Anahera and Levi go into her room and Calum takes the moment to decorate the outside of the house. He started yesterday, mostly with the hanging decorations and the lights. Today’s mostly putting on the certain yard decorations. There are some tombstones that he stakes into the ground and a few giant fake spiders that he sets out. The decor was more extravagant in years prior. But knowing Bee will be stopping by means that the lazy decorating won’t cut it. 

With the outside done, Calum pulls down the bags of candy from the pantry and pour them into bowls. He’s sure to separate the chocolate from the non-chocolate stuff. He even has a separate bowl for any candies that are chocolate and have peanuts or other nuts in it knowing that some kids in the neighborhood may have allergies. A few parents put out an alert on the neighborhood watch app. There was a year, now as Calum recalls it must’ve been three years ago, where the majority of the houses had only chocolate candy making it impossible for one kid to get any candy that they could enjoy. Calum took the leftover non chocolate candy to the house after reading the heartbreaking plea from the parents. 

“What’s for dinner y’all?” Calum asks after both Ana and Levi resurface in the kitchen rummaging through the snack pantry. “We got about an hour before trick-or-treaters start showing up. Pizza? There’s leftovers too, but I think I’ll be nice and order something.” 

Both of them readily agree to pizza and Calum places the order without needing much more convincing. He’ll finish off the last of the spaghetti leftovers he fixed yesterday. The pizza will not last long between the two of them--never a shock anymore to Calum anymore. He changes first into his costume knowing it won’t be fully complete until Bee shows up from work however, he would rather be one half when kids start showing up. 

Though Calum slips into an older black suit. It’s somewhat of a shock that it still fits. But it’s a testament to the personal trainer for sure. Calum does make sure to include the hat. The curls don’t cooperate off the bat, requiring a little bit of assistance from some hair gel Anahera suggested to him to help. Finally, he gets the curls tamed enough to slip the hat on. His dress shoes click over the hard floor and it is echoed by Tammy and Jake finding him and walking behind him. 

“Uncle Cal did not come to play,” Levi jokes around a bite of pizza. 

“Dad, who even are you? I don’t know this man,” Anahera laughs. Calum does a spin and laughs as the two of them whistle. Soon Thriller comes over the speakers. No doubt Anahera pairing her phone to the speakers downstairs. “Show ‘em, Dad. Show ‘em how you groove.”

“Miss Bee’s gonna faint when she sees you like this. I want a video,” Levi laughs. 

“The old man’s still got it,” Calum returns and slides his fingers over the brim of the hat. The giggles are quick to subside after the song fades out. They toss out the pizza box and wash their plates before going back to Anahera’s room. 

“I’m stealing your dad’s wardrobe,” Levi says as they pass through the living room. “Taking notes.”

“Oh, don’t make his ego even better.” The two of them laugh and the door closes before anything else can be said. 

The first half hour of trick-or-treaters is a little slow and mostly toddlers or infants being carted around by their parents. However, Calum enjoys seeing the various pumpkin costumes on the babies as they walk up the driveway and porch. They don’t seem bothered by the night which he knows the parents are grateful for. Exactly at seven, his phone chimes and interrupts the Halloween Party playlist Calum turned on, playing on the speaker he normally uses for outdoor parties. 

I’m headed out now. It’s from Bee and he replies in acknowledgement before setting the phone back down and grabbing a couple handful of candies for the group of sheet ghosts that waddle up the driveway. “Trick or treat,” they chorus.

Calum laughs. “Well, this is a predicament.” He looks over their hands. “I can hear some trick-or-treaters but I don’t see them.” He looks over his yards, hand above his brow to emphasize the point. 

“Boo!” One child giggles. 

Calum jumps, finally looking  down at them. “Oh there they are.” The candle rustles in their bags as he drops off some for them and they reply with their thanks before going back to the parents waiting at the end of the driveway. 

“I scared him, Momma!” The kid cheers and the parents laugh, with a nod. “I’m so scary!”

“Oh I know. The scariest,” the mother returns. They move down to the next house. Another fifteen minutes later, Calum notices headlights slowing down and turning into the driveway. Bee continues up and pulls right up to the garage door. 

“Oh my god,” she gapes walking up on the porch. “Look at you.” Calum greets her with a hug and a kiss to her cheek. “By God, you look sharper than Sunday morning.”

The heat in his cheeks only increases. “Thanks. But I’m missing my other half.”

“Flattery will get you nowhere,” Bee teases, kissing him softly. 

“I think it’ll get me plenty-where.”

“Be back in two shakes and a twist.” Calum nods, watching as Bee walks into the house. More children come up to the house. He drops off candy to some Cookie Monsters, witches, Captain America’s, and Spiderman’s. Ten minutes later, the front door opens and there are only a couple clicks of the heels. When Calum looks up, he nearly loses his breath. The sweater and skirt are fitted to her figure, hinting to what he’s always known is there, has witnessed more than once, but she keeps it hidden under jeans or skirts at work. Not that he’s upset about that, it all makes sense. He just wishes she showed it off a little bit more. The little beret and scarf really complete the look. 

It’s Calum’s turn to be gobsmacked. “Holy shit, you look great.”

“Thanks. I’ve been told to remind you that the party starts in about ten minutes. And they’ll come to the front porch once they’re ready. I got stopped in the hallway,” Bee laughs, sitting in the seat next to Calum. 

“Noted.”  

Another group of children approaches, this time a group dressed in various costumes from Winnie the Pooh. One girl is Eeyore, there’s a Pooh, Tigger, and Piglet. The parents are dressed as Owl and Rabbit. “Twick oh tweet,” the one dressed as Tigger says quietly a shy smile on their face. 

Bee gasps, chest clenching at the matching costumes. Terrence and his friends would do something similar, group costumes. His group costumes weren’t as cute as Winnie the Pooh but still memories come flooding back of superhero costume debates.  God, sometimes she wishes she could make Terrence small again, cherish the moments where all he wanted to do was be up under her as she cooked or cleaned. It all just happens too fast. 

Bee drops some candy into their buckets. “It’s the whole 100 Acre Woods. I won’t tell Christopher Robin that guys you dropped by.”

The kids laugh and say their thanks. “I miss dressing babies up,” Calum confesses. “Anahera and I used to always do matching outfits and she was so happy to bounce up to houses.”

“Terrence would go as athletics or power rangers. I wish my complex did more. I miss the decorating and having to hide the candy from Terrence.”

“High up in cabinets,” Calum laugh. 

“He got too tall for that and too crafty. Hide it in my drawers. He didn’t mess too much in my room.”

Calum chuckles. “Smart. Did you hide Christmas presents in there too? Because I still struggle with that.”

Bee nods, watching more kids walk up and shouts “Trick-or-Treat!” The two of them drop off candy into their buckets and bags. “I leave it in the boxes, if I order online. With Terrence in college now, it’s easier now. Get crafty and hide it in the bathrooms.”

“Now that’s a thought.” 

A family comes up, dressed up in leather and bling. “Oh, we got some rockstars,” Bee teases, nudging Calum. 

The little girl is dressed in her leather jacket and her brother is in a jacket that matches and it melts his heart. Calum tries not to show it, tries not to gush too much at the costumes but they are adorable. He sneaks them a few extra pieces of candy. “Keep on rockin’ out,” he grins at them. 

They smile in return, “Thank you!” in their excited squeals leaving both of them. 

Calum clutches his chest as they leave and Bee laughs,  “Don’t die on me. You gotta survive.” 

“We did that one year,” he sighs, finally sitting up in the chair. “Anahera wanted to go as me and I bought her this silver blazer. I’ll show you the pictures.”

“Oh, that’s precious. I can’t wait to see them.”

The trick-or-treaters slow down and Calum knows the end is nearing for them. Things usually end right about 8 in the neighborhood, though the general unspoken rule it so linger until about 8:30 just to catch all those that might’ve gotten a later start. But he and Bee stay out on the porch. She stacks the empty buckets and sneaks an Almond Joy for herself. “The decorations look good. And I just realized we completely forgot the fake blood.”

Calum shrugs, grabbing a small Snickers. “It’s alright. Most of the parents got it regardless.” They received a few compliments throughout the night but not too many. Most of the time the older kids walked up by themselves but when parents did shadow behind, they were quick to gush at the couple’s costumes. 

Anahera and Levi pop out onto the porch a little while later and Calum excuses himself to drop them off. Though, Bee snaps some photos for them and Anahera returns the favor by taking some photos of Bee and Calum together. The teases from the two are more than enough even when they don’t attempt to pose Bee and Calum in the standard high school prom pose. Calum and Bee go along with it mostly for the laughs. 

Bee starts to clean up in Calum’s absence and puts things inside the house. By the time she starts to wrestle with the speaker, Calum’s returned and helps her get it back inside. She ducks back to her car to grab the blazer for Levi and takes it from the bag so it can straighten as much as it can. Calum’s quick to hang it up to help as well. “Do you work in the morning?” Calum asks, pulling the hat from his head as he reenters the living room from the back of the house where his bedroom is located. 

“At the library, yeah. But I can hang for another hour or two. Unless of course I pass the fuck out.”

“I know that feeling. You hungry?”

Bee follows behind into the kitchen, her own beret and scarf removed as well. “I ate at work, but thanks.” She leans into the counter, eying the box of popcorn that seems to have been left out. Popcorn does sound good. She knows she shouldn’t. But just a little wouldn't hurt as they watch a movie. Sneakily, she pushes the box closer to Calum. 

He giggles, noticing the green box moving closer to him. “So I’m going to assume you want popcorn.”

“Please?”

Calum nods, waving for her to come closer. She steps in close, resting against his chest. The microwaves beeps before whirring. Calum kisses the top of her head, wrapping his arms around her waist. “The hottest Bonnie to walk this Earth.”

Bee laughs, kissing along his jawline. “Thank you. I think you cleaned up well as Clyde. Almost cut me looking so sharp in this suit.”

They share a kiss and the beeps of the microwave interrupts them. “What’s on the movie menu tonight?” Calum asks, bumping the bag into a bowl. Bee’s not in love with horror films but can generally stomach more gore than straight up horror. Rather than dominating the conversation with suggestions, Calum lets her take charge. However, they settle on whatever is playing on the TV, after a good twenty minutes of failed decision making. Bee snuggles into his side, a blanket wrapped about the both of them. 

“Where’s the picture of Anahera dressed up as you?” Bee asks during a commercial break. “I need to see this.”

Calum stretches forward to grab his phone and scrolls for the photo. “So this is the look she wanted to recreate,” he says showing her a picture of himself from so long along Calum’s shocked that he remembers it was actually him. But the picture of him in the silver jacket on stage instills a lot of memories. 

“Oh look at you! How old were you in this photo?”

“Twenty-two, twenty-three. It feels like a lifetime ago. But,” he starts swiping through the pictures again and pulls up the one of them side by side, rocking the glittery blazer and slicked back hair. “Here’s my little girl matching her old man.”

“God, she looks so much like you. It’s insane. But this is so cute.”

“Thanks. I will say if you think Anahera and I look alike, it’s a family trait.”

“So you look like your parents, huh? Like you got spit out.”

Calum nods. “Yeah. My mum’s the culprit. My sister and I look like she sculpted us personally. Also speaking of blazers, I still have to pay you back. How much was it again?”

The movie continues on around them as they settle the payment. Stories filter on about their children’s past successful or failed costumes. There are some stories about their exploits in their younger years. Kisses are shared, soft and languid. Some are sweeter due the candy they snuck during the night too. Hands slips under dress shirts or sweaters but Calum and Be don’t go too far. Just kisses and exhales and intoxicating themselves with the other. During a commercial break, Bee excuses herself to the bathroom and it’s only then that Calum realizes that it’s closing in around 11 pm.

Calum cleans up their mess of kernels and wrappers. When Bee returns she finds Calum in the kitchen, hugging him from behind. “I’m gonna head home to get some sleep.”

“No, don’t leave me,” he whines. 

“I know. I don’t wanna either. But out of respect, ya know. Can’t just be randomly spending the night.”

Calum kisses across her knuckles. “I appreciate it. Let me know when you get home safely okay.” 

“Will do.” Calum walks Bee to her car and kisses her goodnight before watching her pull down the driveway. Not even before he can get to the porch, another pair of headlights cuts through the night. He watches it pull up into this driveway and notices the tag--it’s Dan. 

Levi and Anahera step out of the car both of them giggling incessantly. “Oh fuck,” Ana says loudly upon seeing her dad. “Shit.”

Calum can already tell alcohol’s been involved. But there’s only amusement as both of them attempt to pass off like they’re sober. He takes Anahera while Dan helps Levi up the steps. “Seems like there was definitely been some fun tonight,” he teases, fixing both of them classes of water. 

“We won the costume contest!” Levi declares. “And maybe had a shot or two.”

“We got third,” Ana corrects. 

“Sstill placing.”

Calum tries his best not to laugh at their not sober antics. “Drink some water. Honestly, how many drinks?”

“Only like two, two and a half,” Ana confesses hiding behind the class. 

“It’s clear sweetheart, so I can still see you.” 

“Damn.” 

Levi laughs, slipping down into the cushions. The headscarf slips off their head with the action but they don’t seem to notice. “Are we screwed, Uncle Cal? I really really can’t afford to get into trouble.”

“We’ll wait to see if you’re screwed when you wake up tomorrow.  If you feel like ass in the morning, you’ll have to deal with that and there’s no reason for me to dish out any punishments.”

“If we don’t feel like ass?”

“The fear of getting caught coming home shamby from a paper is punishment enough,” Calum chuckles.

With a glass of water down each, he helps them to the room, mostly herding them from the walls to keep anyone from knocking their head on a picture frame. “Thanks, Dad,” Anahera sighs, leaning into the wall for a little bit of support. 

“There was a reason why most of your homework had to be done before the party,” he grins. “Holler if you need me, okay?”

Calum texts Bee about their return, safe but not sober. Damn, should’ve stuck around to witness that. Need an extra pair of hands? Bee replies. 

Seems like we’re all good. Thanks. 

Also please send me the photos of us from tonight? Whenever you can of course. I think if we had gone to a costume contest we would’ve won too.

Of course. Definitely would’ve won with a woman like you on my arm.  

Calum rises first the next morning, and doesn’t disturb them immediately. However, closer to late morning, he knocks softly on Anahera’s door. “Yeah?” Ana calls out and as he peeks inside he notices they’re still up. Levi is sitting on her bed and Ana at her desk. 

“Oh, thought you two might’ve died at some point in the night. Glad to see I was wrong.”

“We didn’t drink that much.”

Levi snorts. “I had to get you Advil.”

“Shut up,” Anahera huffs, dropping her head in her hands. “I’m okay, Dad. Really. I’m fine. Just like a minor headache that’s all.”

He shakes his head. “You’ll learn eventually. Pancakes on me this morning, how does that sound?”

“I’m down,” Levi answers. Their attention is locked on the screen. 

“I’ll let you know when food’s ready.” Calum states to the room and begins to shut the door but still can faintly catch Anahera asking Levi about the blazer. He leaves the door slightly ajar but walks back to his room the jacket hangs right where he left it. He wanted it to be a present, wanted to get it tailored. But he knows he can’t wait. Calum pulls it off the bar and shuffles back to Anahera’s room. Slipping his arm through, he hooks onto the knob on the inside and then closes the door. He waits for a moment. 

“No way! No fucking way!”

The door swings open, Levi gripping the hanger and shaking the garment. “You totally didn’t?” Their voice cracks just a little as the emotion rocks them visibly. 

“Maybe I did. Maybe I didn’t. But I mean you’re holding the jacket, so I’m pretty sure I did.”

“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” they gush, tackling Calum into a hug. 

“Anytime, kid, anytime.” While Halloween’s typically celebrated and seen as a way to become and dress up like someone else, it doesn’t mean Levi doesn’t deserve the chance to dress like themself. “If you have to keep it over here, I get it. And I had anticipated waiting on giving it to you, but felt like now was a good time.”

They dance up and down the hallway with the suit jacket and Anahera laughs, recording their excitement. She’s careful not to post it on anything public. Her socks cause her to nearly slip and fall as she rounds the corner to the kitchen. Calum’s at the stove, flipping over pancakes when she hugs his side. “Thanks for being awesome. About the drinking and getting Levi that blazer. They love it.”

“The drinking’s one thing because you embarrassed yourself. The blazer--well I couldn’t not get it.”

“I know it’s because you’re amazing and awesome and like the best person to walk the planet, but it really does mean a lot.”

“Anytime, sweetheart. I’d do just about anything for you and Levi.”

“Only just about anything?”

“Hey, that’s still a long list and included on it is making the two of you pancakes so you two can study because there’s still school on Monday.”

“Oh don’t remind me,” she laughs, popping to kiss his cheek and then scurrying back around the corner of the kitchen. 

“That’s my job!” Calum shouts. 

“You do it well!” 

[just-a-quirkless-loser]

New Beginnings

Part Five: Courting?

Part 4

Chiyo enjoyed her time with the pack. It took a bit of time on her behalf to come out of her shell but, she eventually was able to start hanging out with her packmates (although, she didn’t like Mineta as much as the others). She was still somewhat reserved, opting to spend time with Aizawa if given the chance. And, no one knew about her past or where she came from.

She still hasn’t starting her quirk training but, no one pushes her to do it. They know that she’ll do it when she feels comfortable with herself. Part of her wants to show them what she can do but, she’s afraid of showing them how much of a monster she can be.

Mirio has taken to coming to get the omega as soon as lunch begins, her pack staring at him weirdly as he waits for her at the door (one person in particular doesn’t like how close he is to her). They have lunch on the rooftop, laugh at each other’s cheesy jokes, sit so close to each other that they can feel their body heat. As much as she’d hate to admit it, she likes being so close to him.

He’s not the only person that she doesn’t entirely hate. Despite the jarring way they had first met, Shinsou and Chiyo are surprisingly close. Shinsou finds her presence to be calming, her scent of peaches and pine driving him near insanity. But, he’s also found that’s she’s clever, always having something to say or some inquisitive look on her face. She’s kind in her own way; giving offhanded compliments while she looking away from the person as to hide her flustered face.

“We’re matching,” Shinsou grins, twirling a piece of her purple hair between his fingers. “Aren’t we the perfect pair?”

“Get you grumby hands off my hair. My hair is nothing like yours,” although this may sound like an insult, she means to say she likes his hair more than her own. She fiddles with the fabric of her shirt (something her pack had come to know as her being nervous).

“You’re right...yours is clearly nicer,” blossoms of red on her skin.

“Whatever, you’re ugly anyway,” she stalks off to go be with the girls. Aizawa was off patrolling and that meant she’d have to conversate. “Stupid boy thinking he can touch me. So fucking weird. JIROUUU, HE TOUCHED ME.”

Jirou and the girls were in the kitchen, no doubt watching her stomp over with puffed out cheeks. Out of all the girls, she’d bonded with Jirou over music and art, leaving her to be closer to the outspoken omega.

“He’s been being weirder than usual lately,” Chiyo snatched a piece of candy away from Momo. “The other day, he gave me a fucking blanket.”

“Did you not like the blanket?” cue the offward stare at the candy wrapper.

“I-I it wasn’t entirely shitty. Had fluff n smelled like him.”

“Did he say why he gave it to you?”

“No. The bastard just came to my door and pushed it in my arms with a weird ass grin then walked down the hall with his hands in his pockets,” a piece of her hair fell in her face.

Meanwhile, Shinsou was outside with the boys working up the courage to go inside and talk to Chiyo. So far, she had accepted the blanket which was a good sign. But, he had no idea how she’d respond to him asking her out for food.

“Baggy eyes, just ask her. It’s not fucking hard,” Bakugou was getting tired of the alpha’s sour scent and pacing. A few more minutes of this and he knew he’d go crazy and go ask her out for his friend.

“Shut the fuck up,” Shinsou was antsy. Sure, Chiyo was doing good at fitting in and talking more but, was this too soon? She’s only been with the for a month.

“Just go in there and ask her. You’re the only guy she talks to on a regular basis,” Kirishima did have a point. It’s not that Chiyo didn’t like the boys but, for reasons she’d sworn never to revisit, she just didn’t like being around them longer than what was necessary.

“She probably doesn’t even know what a date is,” he’s trying to talk himself out of this, even though all the boys know he’ll have to ask her out eventually. “The only time she leaves the campus is with Aizawa.”

“Then, this would be good for her. Give her some exposure to the outside world. Then,” Kaminari wiggles his eyebrows to leave the suggestion in the air. Sero slaps him upside the head.

“This is why you shouldn’t be allowed to have hands,” Kaminari pouts.

Shinsou just shakes his head and decides to do it before he loses his nerve. He walks through the dorm door, confronted with Chiyo smiling. It makes his heart beat even faster than what it was before, the erratic beat sousing against his chest. He wanted to keep that smile on her face no matter what happened.

“Omega, are you busy today?” Chiyo looked at him with furrowed brows.

“Uhhh, I don’t think so. I was gonna paint some of my room,” Shinsou smirks. Ofcourse the cutie would try to seclude herself after daily dose of interaction. “Stop smiling, it’s ugly.”

“You hungry?”

“When am I not hungry?” Chiyo’s known for being a big eater.

“Then, get ready and I’ll take you out for ramen,” Chiyo tilts get head.

“We’re going alone?”

“Yeah,” Shinsou walks off before Chiyo can rethink her decision. He walks off, jumping up and clicking his heels once he’s around the corner.

“What the fuck just happened?”

“Looks like you’re going on your first date,” Chiyo turns slowly to Jirou, still not believing this happened. “Don’t look at me like that. I didn’t tell him to do it.”

“I gotta go,” Chiyo runs off to the elevators and up to her room. She’s tapping her foot in hurried beats, her body trying to suppress upcoming shudders.

‘Need Aizawa. Need alpha. Gotta get alone. Gonna lose it,’ she runs to her room and locks herself in. These are the moments she wishes she was still alone. There was no worrying over trivial things or fears of losing her cool.

“AIZAWAAAAA, I need help,” She screeched into the phone the moment he picked up. His breath sounded labored but that was probably due to him running home from his nightly patrol. “Shinsou. Me, Ramen. UNSHITTY BLANKET.”

“Kitten, you know I can’t understand you with how fucked up that sentence was,” Chiyo took a few deep breaths. “Good, just breathe. Now, tell me what happened.”

“Shinsou gave me a blanket last week which wasn’t really that bad but that’s beside the point and then today he asked me to get ramen which is unfair because he knows how much I like to eat and now I don’t know what to do and,” she took another breath when she heard some chuckles. “Aizawa, why are you laughing? This isn’t a laughing matter. This is life and death and you’re laughing like candy man.”

“For one, I don’t know who that is. For two, you’re overreacting Kitty. It’s not like he’s asking you to marry him. Just get dressed, go out, and enjoy yourself. This is a good moment to bond with him,” he clears his throat. “Well, not that much bonding.”

“I don’t even know what to wear,” she got up and starting rummaging through her closet. While Aizawa had taken her to go shopping for more casual clothes, she hadn’t picked anything really flashy because she didn’t think she’d ever have to wear the clothes on anything like this. Now she wishes she listed to the older alpha when he told her to pick something nice.

“This is what happens when you don’t listen,” she scoff.

“Just shut the fuck up and help me,” he laughs.

“As much as I’d like to help my kitten, I have patrolling to do. Get the girls to help you. I’ll be home by the time you get home with lovvvvvverboy.”

She doesn’t even dignify him with a response and hangs up on him as she moves things in her closet at a more aggressive pace. She can’t just go downstairs and ask the girls for help; it’ll make her look innocent and naive (even though she really is and they all know it but she doesn’t want to put the final nails in her coffin).

She starts to settle on a pair of light wash blue jeans and a baggy long sleeve when she hears a knock on her door. She already knows it’s the girls because she knows that Aizawa called them due to her stubborn inability to ask for help.

“I need help picking out what to wear,” she says, not even looking to see who it is, and walking back to the pile of clothes that were in the middle of her floor.

“Okay, what the hell happened in here? It looks like a hurricane came in here,” Uraka’s eyes are wide.

“Haha, really original,” Chiyo sneers.

“Hey, no being mean just because you’re nervous,” Jirou and Mina both chop her on the head. “But, seriously, you’re room is fucked up.”

“Are you guys just gonna judge me or are you gonna help me?” Chiyo clenches her fist around her shirt.

“We never judge you,” Mina rubbed the top of her head which made the omega elicit a small purr. “Aizawa was right to name you kitten. So touch starved.”

“Stawwwwp and help,” Chiyo pushes her hands away, missing the petting but she’d never admit that. Growing up, she didn’t experience the same physical contact that most did. And, when she was touched, it was with malice intent. So, it felt weird when she first starting getting close to the pack and they would randomly touch her.

“Hmmmmm leave it to us,” she didn’t realize that Hagakure was there before she spoke. She feels bad for the girl that’s literally invisible; it must be lonely to never be acknowledged unless people notice the floating clothes.

And, that’s how Chiyo ended up where she was now. Her and Shinsou were currently walking down the street to a nearby ramen restaurant, Chiyo fighting the wind that was pushing her skirt up. The girls chose a pastel purple skater skirt that had suspenders and a long-sleeve white shirt that tucked into the dress. Her hair was pulled up into two side ponytails, making her look even more adorable than normal.

They walked in a silence that gnawled at both of them. Both of them were nervous but, Shinsou knew he’d have to be the one to say something.

“I can’t believe you wore a skirt all for me,” Chiyo sputtered and turned to the boy, hands clenched at her side as she snarled.

“It’s not for you, asswipe. The girls thought it would look nice,” he laughs.

“Ofcourse they did. Either way, it looks nice on you,” she blushed and turned to the side.

“You don’t look disgusting either,” she sped walked forward so she didn’t have to keep looking at him. He looked handsome in his black jeans and purple bottom down. She figured the girls had picked out her purple skirt on purpose. “C’mon I’m hungry and you’re sitting there like a dick.”

“Dicks only stand up where they’re hard,” She puncher his arm before she dragged him the rest of the way.

They arrived at the ramen restaurant a few minutes later with Chiyo only having to hit her companion a few times. It was a quaint building with a two floors, red brick exterior, and a few windows scattered around. The around smelled just like ramen, which was a good thing in Chiyo’s mind. They were seated in a booth tucked away in a corner of the restaurant.

“Ohh, look at the two of you on a date. So kawaii,” Chiyo wanted to yell at the little woman that seated them that it wasn’t a date and that she only agreed at the prospect for free food but, Shinsou just threw his arm around her waist and pulled her into his side.

“She’s the kawaii one,” and she was silent. She was seated across from Shinsou, looking everywhere but him. It’s bad enough that he looks so good but he keeps staring at her and it makes her heart feel weird. “You’ll have to look at me eventually, omega.”

“I hope they put poison in your ramen,” she bites her lip when hey make eye contact. She doesn’t know why him calling her by her second gender makes her want to croon for him.

“Such strong words from such a cinnamon bun,” she quirks her head.

“I’m not a cinnamon bun. You can’t even eat me, dumbass,” she looks up and nods her head in appreciation as a server comes and drops her bowl of ramen in front of her. “This, however, seems promising.”

He doesn’t say anything as he watches her practically inhale a noodle. She looks so cute while she eats, swaying side to side as she dances happily, the corners of her mouth turned up into a smile. She looks carefree with half a noodle hanging out her mouth and that makes him all the more happy he decided to court her. If only he knew she didn’t know what courting was.

“Are you gonna keep staring or are you gonna eat?” He digs into his meal, happy with the comfortable silence that lands over them. They eat in the silence, playing footsies under the table.

“What’s your favorite color?” Shinsou asks her randomly. She stops with her noodle halfway in her mouth, wondering to herself if she even had a favorite color.

“I don’t think I have one,” she shrugs.

“Everyone has one,” she just shrugs again. “You have to pick one. Anything. “

She thinks for a moment. It’s not like she has a preference in anything so she doesn’t understand why this is so important to him but, she still comes up with something.

“Just one?”

“Mmm, you can have more than one.”

“Black, purple, and blue.”

“Why those colors?” She blushes. She didn’t want to tell him that she chose those colors because they’re the colors of her three favorite people’s eyes. “Well I like purple too.”

“Why do you like purple?”

“It’s our color,” Chiyo stuffs her face in her bowl, not looking up to catch the dreamy gaze on Shinsou’a face. “I see that makes you blush.”

“Shut it, bags for eyes,” he smiles. He brings his index finger under her chin and forces her to meet his eyes, his fingers giving her a scorching feeling.

They sit there staring at each other, both of them ruffled in their own ways.

“You’re eyes are beautiful; it’s a shame I never get to see them since you’ll never look me in the eye,” she gulps. “Do you think you could work on that for me?”

“I’ll do whatever I want,” she doesn’t look away even when Shinsou removes his fingers from her chin. “We should get back to the dorms before Aizawa tries to skin me alive.”

Heading back to the dorms was calling, both their hands intertwined. Every time she tried to pull her hand away, Shinsou would chide her and hold her hand closer. It was even more embarrassing when they got back and everyone saw them holding hands.

“Awwwww,” they were all sitting on the couches waiting for the two of them.

“FUCK ALL OF YOU,” she ran to her room to escape the heat from her cheeks.

“YOU’RE CUTE WHENEVER YOU GET EMBARRASSED,” Shinsou yelled to her, smiling harder when Chiyo retaliated with her middle finger.

“Fuck you especially, old man.”

“You should save that for Shinsou,” and that sent her to her room. She stayed in her room to keep away from the teasing from her packmates. It’s not that she was ashamed but, she wasn’t used to these new emotions. Emotions like fear, happiness, and attraction (most definitely attraction) were foreign and its hard for her to deal with that.

Her pack mates did feel bad for the teasing; they often lost sight of the fact that she’s not used to handling things like they can. Aizawa assured them that she wasn’t mad at them but moreso just freaked up with herself and her newfound emotional freedom.

“We’re sorry, Chiyo. We feel happy that you’re coming out of your shell for Shinsou. We don’t want to make you feel weird or anything,” Jirou would come to talk to her everyday (along with Shinsou).

She wasn’t mad at them at all. If anything, she was mad at herself for being difficult and troubled. This was supposed to be primal instincts for her yet, it feels like learning to be someone new all over again. Years of suppressing herself has led to this and it’s overwhelming to start over again.

“Chiyo, Class is over,” Aizawa was tapping on her desk as she stared outside. She jumped to attention, noticing that it was lunch time. Although, her pack was still in the classroom looking at her. “Are you good?”

“Oh, yeah, I was just thinking and stuff,” she grew red. “It still feels different being here.” She purred as Mina rubbed her head. Mina has noticed the particular spot and hasn’t stopped rubbing it since, noting that it makes the omega release happy pheromones.

“Bambiiii, you’re late to lunch,” Chiyo looked to the door to see Mirio holding both of their lunches. Chiyo can’t deny how gorgeous his blue eyes look as the light reflect off of them, his muscular frame leaving the the opening.

“Who’s Bambi?”

“That’s me,” it’s one of the few times Chiyo says it. “He calls me that all the time.”

“That’s cause she’s cute like Bambi. And those eyes are big like em too,” Chiyo giggles and marches up to the blonde alpha. She grabs her lunch from him and looks back to wave at her pack.

“And he’s Smiles. I think his name is pretty explanatory. We’re gonna go have lunch,” and they’re off to the roof. Shinsou stands there, his scent filled with jealousy. How dare this alpha come on the steal her smiles? She doesn’t even smile like that for Aizawa! And, she fucking giggled. And, he’s fucking feeding her. He’s trying to steal his girl.

Meanwhile upstairs on the roof, Chiyo sat with Mirio as she ate the pork cutlet he had cooked for her.

“It’s sooo good,” she fakes a few tears as she chews on the pork. It’s salty on her tongue and that’s exactly how she likes her food. Plus, he even packed her some cucumbers and melon that he cut into little stars!!!

“You think everything is good,” he hands her some of the cucumber from his bento box when he notices she ate all of hers. “And, I swear, you’re the cutest thing when you eat.”

“I’m cute either way. Or, at least, that’s what you all tell me,” she gladly takes the cucumber. The air felt good on her skin as she scarfed down the rest of her lunch.

“I wanted to ask you something,” he looks down at her, a smile gracing his face as normal. But, this smile was nervous. “Can I take you to karaoke after school? We can go right after school and I’ll pay for the food and we’ll have a lot of fun.”

“Sure. I like spending time with you. You always make me smile,” and that’s true. Chiyo never feels pressured to feel anything other than happiness and humor with him and it’s a nice change from her pack mates. It’s just pure, organic fun. “But, I don’t really know that many songs.”

“That’s okay. They have private rooms. Plus, I don’t sound the best.”

“That’s an under exaggeration. Remember when you tried to sing last week? That poor bird took a nose dive down a tree,” she points at the supposed tree below them. “Yep, poor bird had to end it right then and ohhhhh fuck stop it Mirio. Stawppppp,” Mirio pulled her into his lap as he tickled her sides. She threw her head back and tried to squirm away from the torture.

“Take it back, Bambi,” he kept going, watching the girl with tears in her eyes.

“Never you sadistic, oh shit alright, you sound like Beyoncé,” he laughs at her goofiness. “She ain’t got shit on you Mirio.”

“You’re such a goofy bug. But, alas, we have to get back to class,” she pouts. “Don’t look at me like that. I’ll come get you as soon as the bell rings.”

He walked her back to class, catching the looks her packmates gave him. He just brushed them off and picked her up to give her a hug. Much to their displeasure, she didn’t wiggle away from his touch like she does them. Instead, she wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her head in his neck, unknowingly scenting him.

“Alright Bambi, remember that we’re going right after school. Get those vocals ready. And those ears better be ready to be blessed.”

“More like tortured.”

“What’d you say?” he showed her his fingers to remind her what would happen if she didn’t agree to his voice.

“Such an angel,” she formed a halo on top of her head with his fingers. He shook his head at her teasing. Class went by antagonizingly slow, seeming to be longer than what it ever was before.

When class ended, true to his word, Mirio was there to pick her up. She just didn’t think he would permeate his body through the floors and land right in front of her desk.

“Well, Smiles fell from the sky,” he laughs at Chiyo’s poor excuse of a joke. It makes him feel good that she tries to make him laugh.

“I’ll always fall for you,” Chiyo goes to say something smart. “I know it was cheesy. Good for me, you like cheese.”

“You’re lucky that I really do like cheese,” they walk out holding hands, a normal behavior between them but, to her pack, felt painful. She never holds their hands. Hell, she still tenses when they touch her.

The two of them walked down the sidewalk, holding hands and talking. Well, it was more like Mirio bringing up topics and Chiyo putting in her opinion every now and again. But, that’s how they liked their relationship. She doesn’t feel pressured int conversation which makes her want to talk to Mirio and Mirio doesn’t feel that she doesn’t like his presence which makes her want to be around her even more. Hell, not that many people can handle him smiling constantly but, she handles it like she’s been with him for years.

“So, there I am, blood on my titties,” Chiyo hutches over as she laughs. Mirio (along with Kaminari) has been teaching her meme culture. “C’mon, omega, I haven’t even finished the joke. “

“I can’t h-help it,” she looks up at him with a blinding smile. These smiles are reserved for him and him alone. “You don’t even have titties.”

“Hey, I have titties,” their conversation is cut at that once they get to the karaoke place. They’re pulled into their own room, a couch to each wall of the room and a microphone stan in the center. A large t.v. is plastered to the wall, reading for the lyrics to come.

“Woahhh, this...is...awesome,” Chiyo throws her stuff onto the closest couch to the door.

“I’ll have to thank Nejire,” Mirio sits down beside her, despite the abundance of seats around them. But, she doesn’t mind it. She’s touch starved so, she’s not the type to pull away from his touches. It’s weird how close they’ve gotten but, Chiyo can only attribute that to the fact he gives her the same vibes Aizawa does. “They even have snacks.”

“SNACKS,” she jumps up and grabs a mochi bun that’s sitting on a stool in front of them. The red bean flavor makes her moan out in food ecstasy, making Mirio have to adjust himself. “You want some?”

“You’re sharing? You must be in a really good mood,” Mirio pens his mouth for her to shove the bun in. He agrees that it was moan worthy when he grabs another one. “Should I be the one to sing first?”

Mirio ends up singing first, gracing her ears with his “angelic” voice. She follows his suit, stumbling on the words but still having a pretty good time. He walks her back to her dorm, him giving her a piggyback ride since she was “too full of snacks to move.” It feels good to finally have her in his arms.

“You wanna know something?” Chiyo says as she plays with the collar of his shirt. She’s nervous to say this but, she wants to.

“Tell me, Bambi.”

“You make me smile, Smiles,” she nuzzles her face into his neck, a way for him to know just how much it took for her to tell him that.”

“I love making you smile,” they walk in silence for the rest of the way. They come to the front of her dorm, walking up to Shinsou waiting on the steps with the rest of her packmates peaking through the windows.

‘What did I do this time?’ Chiyo thinks as she slides down from Mirio’s back.

“Go inside, I have to talk to Mirio,” Chiyo wants to protest with Shinsou but complies as Mirio gently nudges her to go inside, his comforting smile telling her that he’ll be okay.

“What the fuck was today? We’re not good enough fr you? Huh? Shitty girl thinks she’s too good for our pack,” of course Bakugou is the one losing his mind first. His carmine eyes bore into her eyes, making her turn her head. It’s too much to stare at his anger when she doesn’t know what exactly she did. “You fucked up with Shinsou. Are you just being a whore?”

The word makes her visibly tense, arms wrapping around herself to keep from attacking. Aizawa taught her this coping mechanism. “What did I do to make you all so angry with me?”

“You don’t even touch us like you touch him. You don’t talk to us. You don’t play around with us. It’s like you don’t even care to be in this pack,” Jirou walks to be in front of her. “And, how could you do that to Shinsou?”

“What did I do to Shinsou?”

“Are you kidding me? You’re courting with him! What makes you-”

“What’s courting?” and that quells the anger of her pack. Aizawa told them she was behind in their world but, they didn’t think she was this far behind. They just sit their staring at her, making her feel even more uncomfortable than before. “Could you all stop looking at me like this?”

She chirps to let them know how she’s feeling, causing two overprotective alphas to burst through the entrance, their soothing scents makes her shoulders slouch in a pleased manner.

“WHAT DID YOU ALL DO?” Mirio pulls her to his chest, Shinsou coming to her front to rub the nape of her neck which makes her mewl embarrassingly. She hides her face in Shinsou’s neck, Mirio rubbing her nape as well. She’s essentially sandwiched between them; it’s more comforting than what she thought it could be.

“SHE DOESNT KNOW WHAT COURTING IS! YU BOTH CAN’T KEEP THIS UP! SHE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT THIS IS,” Jirou tries to snatch her from the arms only to be snapped at and pushed roughly. “SHE DOESN’T KNOW.”

“Then, we’ll teach her.”

—————————————————————————-

@sinclairsamess @sakurashortstack

[isolctions]

...........so let’s finally talk abt what the actual fucking fuck is wrong with ai’rina rue castillo, huh gang? :-)

(everyone go thank @armsdealing & @durcgs beating the anxiety out of me in order to post this info-dump.)

...before we get into things, now’s the part where i establish a warning for triggers to be discussed in this lengthy headcanon post. there’s gonna be some talks of mental illness, slight alcohol abuse, & breaking down topics of familial abuse, mental abuse, religious abuse, emotional manipulation, and elements of non-con. be warned.

a’ight, so look. i’ve hinted in between threads & development that rue had a not-so-fantastic upbringing that impacted how she perceives herself, how she interacts with others, (in terms of her career, at least) and how she views personal relationships, but i didn’t realize how........severely her upbringing messed with her mental health until i started working through how i wanted to plot out rue’s behavior for her next album release. at first, i had the idea that she decided to take more time for herself & sort of distance herself from the public / media circus plaguing her life so that she can create much more authentic music. then i actually listened to the EP that i’m basing her album off of and thought “...oh.” THEN, i looked over old meme responses & old threads / mentions of her family and how she grew up and thought, not for the last time since piecing everything together: “....oh. oh fucking boy.”

so, that horrible realization dawning on me, let’s talk about rue’s childhood.

i wrote a thing like, two years ago almost (that upon looking for last night, i realized i didn’t actually share it w/ anyone but alex in our discord server & only mentioned a portion of it in rue’s moodboard that i made) that talked vaguely about how rue felt growing up. and it’s worth noting that...she’s the middle of ten fucking siblings. and that’s just the brothers & sisters she knew of that stayed with their mother. and on top of that, not all of those siblings are the product of rue’s father, or even rue’s mother for that matter. and it’s also worth noting that rue not only grew up in poverty, but she grew up never having any actual space that had solely been her own, or even an article of clothing that had belonged entirely to her. so naturally, as a young child, rue sort of became torn between starved for attention & wanting someone to pay attention to her (whether that be her older siblings including her in something, whatever teacher they had for the next six months to call on her for something, for her mother to miraculously show up with her unknown father in tow one day, & for literally anyone to be her friend, pls god Notice her!!!) and for people to simply leave her the hell alone. obviously, this carried into adulthood.

and branching off from the whole “lack of space” point i made, rue wound up growing up to become increasingly more private as time went on because she literally cannot remember a single moment where she wasn’t squished between a bunch of people. driving around in their minivan? rue’s packed in the middle of the second row. nowhere to sleep while on the road? rue’s smacked between gigantic older brothers & clingy little siblings. need to use to bathroom? lmao, she better off going outside!!! gotta change clothes? yeah, good luck with that. it was to the point where, when rue got her first period, she was humiliated by it — not because ‘omg, am i a woman now?? wtf is this???’, but because she ruined the one good sheet that she slept on with her sisters & they were super pissed at her and her mother withheld pay from her for weeks. >:/

already, rue grew up never having shit to herself until the record deal. but she also dealt with literally...so much abuse from her mother. rue thought this was the norm growing up, because all of her siblings faced their mother’s wrath at some point & all of them eventually learned to just deal with the shit and do what she says if they wanted to avoid it. they all compartmentalized and repressed to varying degrees. there’s a lot in which rue has repressed so deeply, she doesn’t even remember if it seriously happened or if she was just making it up bc it was so fucking bizarre for a parent to act that way towards their child, lol?? (and this behavior of “i’m just going to do what you say bc i don’t want to deal with whatever bullshit you’re up to if i say no” also carried into business / personal relationships, which is...very Yikes it’s amazing she didn’t get scammed or worse!) 

so sure, people have complimented her for her exceptional manners & her cleanliness & how quiet / polite she is & how amazing her posture is, bc seriously, this girl will never experience back problems in her life bc her posture is so on par. but where rue typically smiles / responds bashfully, she can’t exactly just up and say: “oh, yeah, my mom used to slap the shit out of me ‘til i bruised if i spoke out of turn or talked back, and if i reached for anything in the store or put my elbows on the table she’d slap a ruler against my palms ‘til i got welts, and she’d make me read verses all night without sleep if i did anything wrong and make me straighten up and kneel on rice if i slouched or took a nap in church and humiliated me in public if i so much as looked at someone of the opposite sex on the street n oh, did i mention i also cleaned houses for rich millionaire snobs from ages twelve to sixteen and if they said or did literally anything to me i wasn’t allowed to defend myself?? ya i’m real proper :)”

(and normal ppl will go: “...................what the FUCK is WRONG with you????”)

but oh man, babe, we’re not done yet!!! rue, being the product of both a highly religious and a highly exploitative household...had difficulty when she started reaching puberty & noticing her classmates. plural, because it wasn’t just boys that she began to secretly have crushes on / fantasize abt, sexually or domestically. she also realized, oh shit, that she started looking at girls differently too. and that literally put the fear of god into her heart, bc if her mother ever found out that she was having non-platonic feelings for the girls in her classrooms, she wasn’t going to be pissed. her mom might have actually tried to kill her. or have her exorcised or something. she knew the shit would be severe, and she wanted no fucking parts of her mother or her siblings inserting the church into her personal life, thank u very much! so rue started suppressing her romantic feelings for people to the point where if adult rue receives intimacy, she’s like “...is this allowed? is this not illegal??????” while simultaneously being like “i will be a slut. just this once. as a Treat to teenage me. :>” regardless, rue learned to molotov cocktail literally any emotion or thought she had, bc she was paranoid that it would give her mother a vision.

now, onto the perils of exploitation...she should’ve been used to it really, what with her mother forcing herself & siblings to lure customers into their shop with promises of visions and palm readings and the wonders of the cards and overexerting their abilities. same with housekeeping, like being of service to people was normal! but when seventeen year old rue decided to sign a record deal and break from home, she wasn’t thinking critically about what the fuck all of this would entail. and as described in this headcanon post abt her discography, her early music was the product of allowing people much older & powerful than you to influence your work & manipulate your values. so rue was very much parading around as someone she wasn’t, someone much more confident and badass and self-assured than she really was, and she was so impressionable back then that it literally makes her sick to think back on it now. she calls it her puppy phase and phrases the eagerness to please execs as ‘tongue wagging’. homegirl hardly even knew her name anymore, bc all she was and all she would ever be was rue, the star, the vocal temptress. not ai’rina, the help or ai’rina, the seer, ai’rina, the weak little nobody. but later on, the subtle manipulation was less about decision making & how they wanted her to sound, and more about how they wanted to present the latest trophy star — because after all, she was pretty. people liked her. she sung really well. suitors weren’t too far off into the distant future. so why not kill two birds with one stone by having a high ranking label artist keep tabloids talking by being seen in public with a few heart throbs? surely, there’s no harm in manipulating an eighteen/nineteen year old’s love life! under the guise of improving her social skills & relations with fellow artists and the media and the like, rue gave into the pressures and let herself be taken out on dates & seen at awards shows with a few guys. no big deal. it was only for a night or so, she could handle the attention. then, one night appearances turned into week long appearances. pretending to date for only a month! completely innocent, positive exposure. :)

(adult rue, looking back @ younger rue: you stupid fucking BITCH-)

yeah, so once her label/management realized that she was turning into a hot commodity, they lost no sleep at allowing their nineteen year old artist to be seen ‘dating’ 20-24+ year old men occasionally. and whatever happened after their public appearances were none of their business. plus, she was good at pretending and being arm candy — so rue experienced her first kiss, her first dates, and her first times with people who she’s almost certain hardly remember their time with her, and really only got involved with her for a mutual career boost. very few of them does she actually remember in a positive light, and the ones that were positive, still depress her bc lmao all of it was fake, even if they were really nice & made it less like a chore and more like they actually wanted to be with her!! even fewer of them were actual relationships. meaning, said person asked her out of their own volition, not bc their managers thought it’d be a decent match on camera. it was evil, really, what her old label made of her. (like, she makes funny jokes that her first time having sex was awkward bc she had a vision halfway through that bummed her out but in reality it was just...really more of a transaction that made her feel icky n progressively worse abt herself until it happened more often and now she just doesn’t care anymore. sex is just sex, u know?? everything’s fake. why you gotta make it personal.) this whole fiasco took over the larger part of rue’s career from like, age nineteen to age twenty-two or so, and she suffered dramatically from this because what is even a genuine, authentic relationship at this point? what do u mean you want to get to know me? did ur manager tell you to ask so many damn questions & try to get to know me? obviously you want something from me bc that’s why everyone gets into a relationship or has sex with me, stop confessing feelings for me u fucking loser. >:/

like...rue doesn’t even have friends. outside of her relationship with marcelo / @armsdealing​ (which, AGAIN, i think was initially arranged to promote her song be honest, how fucking IRONIC), rue does not have any personal relationships with anyone. i mean, she likes her latest management team since switching labels...her hair stylist is rly cool & her make up artist is fun to vacation with...she met a few other celebrities at events that she occasionally texts & has dinner with...yeah, she’s basically a pretty hermit. her family is more or less out of the question — the few brothers & sisters she does still have a positive relationship with (like, four of them lol), they don’t see each other in person often / mainly communicate via groupchat and facetime calls when all of them have time. she tried visiting with her mother over the years, but the verbal & emotional abuse/curses placed on her/accusations of being an imp of satan for singing to the public/memories of being forced to perform psychic shows & clean for chump change keeps her from trying to mend that relationship. like, being gaslit by ur mother isn’t really the vibe, u know? and bottom line, rue simply is a very shy and socially stunted individual who does not know how to communicate like a normal human being anymore. hell, her life revolves around pretending for strangers at this point!

now, onto how...all of That ties into her behavior / state of mind during this next album. so, after riding the wave of success from her third album & the circus that came with that. rue sort of had a fucking existential crisis. came out of absolutely nowhere. (not nowhere — one of her brothers called her out of the blue and called her ai’rina and she literally went “who the fuck is that?”) told her label that she was taking some time in between albums bc she was creatively zapped or whatever bullshit excuse she came up with that somehow worked bc this new label was a little more understanding than the last. vacationed for a little, did some hot girl shit, bought a house, tried to see her mother again for whatever reason then got the shit slapped out of her and finally screamed at her to never touch her again unless she wanted to Throw Hands. cried and got drunk abt it. that took six months. bullshat to her label again, dropped like two songs to smooth things over, decided to focus on magic for a little to ground her, started partying with label mates then going home shitfaced & hungover every other morning. that took eight months. dropped one last song, promptly deleted her twitter, tried to write songs again, got a call from her mother and panicked and got drunk. that took a year. vacationed some more, got even drunker, was bed ridden for like three months because holy shit i’m having so many visions and if i see One More Thing my brain is going to explode, couldn’t separate the present from the future for weeks after that, told absolutely no one about that, cried every day & had an identity crisis, dyed her hair to appease the identity crisis goblins. that took a year and a half.

now, she just chilling. dyed her hair again. scaring her siblings halfway to death bc she keeps going on benders & sending cryptic texts abt the visions she’s getting but they’re so incomprehensible that they’re seriously considering moving in to get her fucking shit together. had a vision that she was married with kids and had a two week identity crisis appeased only by moving houses. (she was in a neighborhood with families...too much Drama and visions. turned into a really cool song tho.) started calling herself by her birth name of ai’rina in private. reactivated twitter to send cryptic tweets that her album is coming. working on said album. trying to drink less but kinda failing bc how is one simply supposed to make a highly personal dual album without alcohol??? prbly somewhere crying in marcelo’s lap or smthn. just vibes.

like...i feel like, in my head, the Theme of her project is wrapped up in identity. her relationship with fame and whatnot. trying to coax her childhood self out of its’ shell so that she can function like a normal goddamn person for once and re-establish her values. like, if someone went to any of rue’s residences right now, it’s just songbooks everywhere and wine glasses and her crystals and shit, bc she still has people’s futures to read for money. (yes, she never really got out of that portion of her childhood, but hey it pays.) it was all very confusing to experience at once while in bed at four in the morning & even though i tried organizing and debated on this, it’s still a Lot. which is why i am once again asking for plots that would allow her to dissect all these Things

so yeah. album four otw, with a side of confronting our childhood & facing our traumas!