#starting to think I may have hoarding tendencies.

[sodacowboy]

oh I desperately need drives for different things jesus christ

[starsfic]

Fluff 49 is someone jealous

Mei (could be taken as platonic, romantic, or QPR, hell it could be dark)

while I'm not sure if Eastern dragons display hording/possessive tendencies like there western counterparts. But I wanna think Mei due to her dragon instincts gets somewhat possessive over things and people she highly values. From objects like her bikes, and stuffed animal collection to living people like her parents, pigsy and tang who may of been like second parents to her at this point and of course her best friend for eternity MK.

So when red son joins there friend group shes happy at first when him and mk start getting on surprising well. But starts to grow jealous when redson starts cutting into her personal time with mk. Heck at times she feels like he's deliberately trying to hog mks attention.

As much as she loves red she feels the need to assert some boundaries, and remind him or even both of the boys who was here first.

Long Xiaojiao felt sometimes that there was a great big fat divide between her and Qi Xiaotian sometimes.

It wasn't a divide that couldn't be crossed. But it was there. Between her and Red dealing with the Samadhi fire and Xiaotian dealing with the whole "Harbinger of Chaos" stuff with Wukong, there was stuff that they couldn't share because the other wouldn't understand. It sucked, but there was still things to talk about. Especially when Red started tagging along!

Red, like she thought, was a great friend when he finally relaxed a bit. He knew cool demon spots to hang out with and could rattle for hours about different topics. He was fascinating. Xiaojiao's favorite hangout was when he led her and Xiaotian to a secret demon fighting ring and they spent most of the day placing bets (with food) on fighters. Then someone got the bright idea to challenge her to a fight and Xiaojiao enjoyed watching Xiaotian's eyes darken with desire as she fought the guy barehanded.

Xiaotian was her best friend. Hers since the day they met at the park, playing in the mud. Red was also hers, although the desire to hoard him was much less due to the new nature of their friendship. They were happy, all three of them.

And then Red tried to make that divide wider.

At first, she didn't notice. She had been delighted when Red suddenly had a free night on Saturday night, an old tradition of hers and Xiaotian where they had a movie marathon. It was nice to have something that was just them even in the craziness of their lives now. She thought it would only be once.

Except "one free Saturday night" became "every Saturday night was free". It wasn't a problem, not at first.

Not until she looked over to realize that Red had wrapped an arm around Xiaotian to cuddle close and realization struck her like a fist on weird behavior she had noticed from Red. The ability to remember Xiaotian's favorites, the insistence on sitting next to him, oh my gods all the touching.

She loved Red, really. But she loved Xiaotian more.

Her breaking point came when they were at a bar, drinking in congrats for Xiaotian's webcomic finally being published. Of course, most people would be interested because it was the Monkie Kid writing it, but Xiaojiao knew his art style and storytelling would win.

Red leaned close, smiling at Xiaotian like pure sin. "So, Noodle Boy..." The nickname was sweet as sugar, no longer containing a disgusting note. "I had to notice some things about the love interest. They mentioned knowing how they kissed. Unfortunately, I don't think I've won something like that from you before..."

"Oh," Xiaojiao said before Xiaotian could answer. "It's because of this." She patted her lap and Xiaotian stood up, a sweet smile forming across his face. Red raised a brow and then his hair floomed into flames as Xiaotian straddled her, the motion easy.

"Hey," her best friend cooed.

"Hey," she cooed back, her fingers settling in their favorite spots before Xiaotian leaned down and kissed her.

For a few glorious moments, it was just him and her. She didn't need to steal him or lock him away. He gave himself to her, his best friend in the whole world, willingly.

Finally, though, air had the nasty need of being needed and Xiaojiao pulled away. Xiaotian instead settled his chin on her shoulder, sighing contently.

Red stared at them with wide eyes. Then his eyes narrowed.

It was a secret challenge. Xiaojiao answered it back.

(Xiaotian hid his smile in his best friend's shoulder. Hopefully, she and Red got the worst of the instinctual possessiveness out of their systems before his preparations were done.

He intended for them both to be his.)

[kneptoons]

My favorite thing about the philosophy of harm reduction is that it can be applied to literally anything and everything!!! Even the most mildest of “bad” habits!

Everything, to some extent, has the capability of causing harm. Some actions are more likely to cause harm than others, but that doesn’t necessarily make those actions inherently bad or that you need to change your habits. You don’t.

Procrastination issues and a tendency to pull all-nighters? Take a harm reductionist approach and plan them out. Premake proper meals to eat throughout the night. Brew a delicious caffeinated drink. Repeat affirmations and breathing exercises to reduce stress/anxiety. Have a hearty breakfast the morning after. Plan out time to recover and nap later.

Just went through a bad breakup and wanna rot in bed and eat nothing but ice cream? Do it, dude!! Tell your loved ones you may not be in contact as much. Take some ibuprofen to stave off that ice cream headache. Queue up all those shows and movies you’ve been meaning to watch. Drink water after every crying sesh. And once you start feeling better, take a nice bath. Stretch, go for a walk, meditate, whatever.

Chronic skin-picker? Make a mini aftercare kit. Disinfectant, anti-inflammatories, and cute band-aids. Invest in extraction tools to reduce damage and scarring. Steam your face before you start to pick.

Hoarding issues? Invest in a big ol’ organizational shelf to keep things tidy. Set out a time every week to go through your belongings to reorganize, clean, and declutter. Put anything perishable in the freezer. Get a second freezer if you have to. Make homemade paper out of used napkins and paper towels. Make art out of cardboard and empty bottles.

These are just some quick examples I came up with on the fly, but it can apply to literally anything!! Not just drugs and addiction, but also things like eating disorders, self harm, OCD, sleeping around, committing crimes, etc! (And if you found yourself upset by the things I just listed, but were fine with my more tame examples, then possibly observe where that feeling is coming from, because you’re very likely being hypocritical.)

Obviously harm reduction won’t work for everyone. But if you find recovery or breaking habits to be difficult in any aspect of your life, I highly recommend using harm reduction tactics! It has done wonders for me!

Identify the aspects of your habit that cause you/others the most harm, and think if there are any ways you can reduce that harm (this will be different for each person).

These habits are what have allowed you to survive, cope, and regulate yourself. They are not fundamentally bad, and it does not make you a bad person or a failure for engaging in them.

[tornedheart]

Maiden In The Tower — Yandere Aegon Targaryen

GIF by @alicentloyalist

Warnings: unhealthy relationships, isolation, captivity.

Opened Tumblr and the first thing I saw was a concept on @heartstalked's blog for Aegon locking his lover on a tower and I was sold! (Completely considering writing fairytale prompts with the other characters, but one thing at a time.)

Once upon a time an unhallowed dragon prince met a winsome flower maiden, they will never be the same after that. Each singer will have a different version of how it happened, some will say he was rotten from the start and she unknowingly fed his dark tendencies, others will say that she tempted him on it and was shocked to meet the consequences of her acts.

Not a single one of the singers will forget to mention how characteristic of a dragon is hoarding their treasures. 

The courtship had started with hopes for the prince becoming a better man, he is drinking less, a courtier mentioned, the servants are called sooner, for the prince desires to take a stroll with his betrothed, a septa whispers. And there is also something being built on the keep, he says it's his gift to his future wife, and no one knows what exactly it is.

No one thinks much of how whiny he seems when his beloved attention deviates from him, or how disposed he is to throw tantrums at everyone he thinks it's trying to steal her attention. It doesn't seem important at that time, everyone knows how young boys are with their little passions.

Each day the wedding grows closer and his whims get worse, and she does try to understand, he doesn't get much love, he's afraid she'll leave, she keeps repeating to herself, it's only a question of time for him to understand she loves him.

And then the big day finally arrives, he's all over her all the time during the ceremony, he turns his head when seeing his mother's scolding. But he doesn't turn down the idea of a bedding ceremony, even with his brother's disapproving gaze or the fear in his new wife.

After consummation, even with her a bit hurt, he tells her how he has a present to her, his wedding gift. There is a key in his hand and she can't deny her curiosity, so she trails after him, going up dozens of stairs until a door, she should have given more attention to the fact that this is the second door he is locking there.

There is an enormous and fluffy bed at the center of the room, shelves lining up in the wall, material for her needlework on a basket and a big wardrobe. 

It's a beautiful room and there is nothing in it to bring any mistrust to her, so all she does is pull him to the bed with her/

Only in the next day, after he leaves to deal with one of duties he preferred to not do, does she notice that the door won't open. She repeats to herself that there is only a mistake, he may have locked it by mistake, the anxiety inside her doesn't seem to hear.

Then Aegon arrives later with a tray of food to her, and she, oh, so innocent she, jokes on how he may have mistakenly locked the tower with her inside. When he tells her that there is no mistake, a smile on his face, one so sweet no one would think he did anything wrong, does her fear take control over her.

All the songs will agree on how no one ever saw her again, except her lovable husband, some will tell about the children he would bring down the tower, to never see their mother again, one or other will say that her love for him did not falter even with his drastic actions, others will recite how there was a constant cries that could be heard in the castle.

[vynnytypesstuff]

Umm hello!! I hope you don't mind me requesting this, I saw your dating hcs for Sun and Macaque and I loved them! May I request some marriage hcs?? Like what would include being married to these mistical monkeys?? Please and thank you! ^^

꒰୨୧﹒Lego Monkie Kid - Marriage Hcs for Sun Wukong and Macaque 

I swear I'm not dead it's just been busy lmao

Ofc I don't mind!! Here you go <33

Warnings: None

Sun Wukong

• Dating him was one thing, but marriage? That's a whooole other ballgame. Definitely has its ups and downs and they are very prominent

• Not going to lie, you’re probably the one who proposes. Wukong is immortal, so the thought of proposing has never really crossed his mind (neither has marriage tbh). He doesn’t see the point in getting married since you two already act “married.” If you want to make it official, though, he’ll give in 

• He doesn't stress over taking you on extravagant dates or giving you expensive gifts when you're dating, and it's the same attitude when married. Hell, your wedding only consisted of family and a few close friends and there wasn't much planning involved 

• There’s not much discussion on the topic of moving in together, it kind of just happens on its own? When you were dating you’d always show up at each other’s homes (often unannounced on Wukong’s end) so there’s not really much to talk about since you're both already kind of used to staying in the same place together

• I hope you know how to cook because he sure can't! He travels a lot and ends up snacking on peaches and peach chips so he hasn't tried to learn. The most he can do in regards to "cooking" is brew you a cup of tea. Don't worry about preferences, at this point he'll eat anything as long as it tastes good.

• This man leaves his stuff all around the house. There's probably an extra room somewhere dedicated to some of the stuff he's hoarded over the years. Unless you want to spend days cleaning everything, make sure he picks up after himself

• One word. Commitment. We all know that Wukong can have some trouble when it comes to commitment Don't be surprised by his tendencies to run off on adventures while notifying you at the last second. You're going to need to call him out on his behavior because he most likely isn't aware that he may be hurting you 

• After you both start to get settled in the marriage, there are lots of traveling together, whether it be for business, adventures, or vacation. You've probably seen more little corners of the world now than before you were married

• Watching the sunrise together. I know, cheesy, but honestly, a relationship with Wukong is going to be a little cheesy sometimes. He loves watching the sunrise because it makes him feel at peace and boosts his mood (especially since the view from his home is incredible) and he wants to share that with you

• Personally, I think Wukong wouldn't mind trying to start a family, though he wouldn't be in any rush to do so. Don't get me wrong, he likes the thought of it, but even he's aware of how much knowledge he lacks when it comes to familial relationships

Liu'er Mihou/Macaque

• His anxiety really said [insert upwards trend chart emoji here]. He didn't think he'd ever get married to anyone (not that he isn't over the moon about it). He's both excited and anxious

• Like Wukong, Macaque prefers a smaller wedding with a shorter guest list, though he takes wedding planning a bit more seriously. Part of the reason for this is that he likes things organized. The other part is that he wants your wedding to be as memorable for both of you as possible

• Congrats, you've domesticated Macaque /hj. Seriously though, he finds himself spending more time at home with you. When he leaves the house, it's typically to do something absolutely necessary (ex. when the Lady Bone Demon needs him for something). He sees both home and you as an escape from his troubles

• There's this brief period after you get married when he won't stop doing nice things for you (making/buying you gifts, doing tasks for you, etc.). Of course, it's because he loves you, but it's also because part of him thinks that the marriage is too good to be true and that he needs to prove that he's worthy enough for it

• Splitting chores because he doesn't think it's fair for one person to take all the workload, nor does he see a point in doing so. You'll take on the bigger chores (such as cleaning out the house) together

• Has a huge rush of pride when he sees you wearing the ring on your finger. Sometimes his eyes will linger on it, though he'll immediately avert his gaze if you notice

• You thought he couldn't get any more protective when you started dating, but that was only scratching the surface of it. It's still not too overbearing but it's on thin ice. At this point, you've probably become best friends with the shadow clones he sends to look after you when he's gone

• Speaking of shadows, he teleports around the house a lot. For example, you'll be doing a mundane chore (let's say the dishes) and he'll just jump down from the ceiling out of nowhere

• There's this sort of unspoken rule between the two of you where neither of you can go to bed upset/angry at the other. What I mean by that is if there's an argument, you can't leave it unresolved. It helps encourage communication between you two

• Ngl,,, I think Macaque is a family man at heart. Is it something he's going to admit on his own? That's debatable. He thinks that if he ever has kids he'll end up scaring or hurting them. He'll open up to you about the idea eventually, he just needs time

[m-ayo-o]

Hi! Since I love your blog (I’m more like a huge simp for your works), I will submit a request for your “it’s written in the stars event”.

virgo + she/her + rational and methodical but overly sarcastic + smut scenario (hate sex picked from your list) + Urahara Kisuke.

Keep up the amazing work, thanks for blessing my dash with your masterpieces! Take care💜

i t s ⋆ w r i t t e n ⋆ i n ⋆ t h e ⋆ s t a r s ⋆

zodiac event : ♍︎ VIRGO afab reader x CAPRICORN KISUKE URAHARA ♑︎ genre: explicit smut! reader has a problem with kisuke wc: 1.7k note: hello thank u !! i kinda failed on the hate sex rq but reader has some complicated feelings abt him...

You've been busy unpacking all the deliveries and bringing them to the shop floor, finishing off with the chocolate and candies- your favourite section. You enjoy this part of the day- it's so early no one else is here and the shop doesn't open for a couple of hours. You placed the bars and packets neatly, organising them in rows, in a pretty display on the shelves.

But when he comes in, all of your work may as well have been for nothing.

"Oooo, you didn't tell me we had these coming!??"

He rifles through the neat rows of candy and finds his favourite flavour, leaving the rest in complete disarray.

"You ordered them." You give him a huff and a distinct eye roll, making it clear that he's already pissed you off, after being here for less than five minutes.

You wonder why you even bother showing up to work some days to see this irksome idiot. He grabs more of the candy and starts rummaging through the boxes at your feet.

"Hey-- just- put that back- ugh, Kisuke-!!!"

He drives you nuts.

Every fucking day you get closer and closer to losing your damn mind.

His nonchalance towards your meticulous and dedicated work grate on you, his whimsical and forgetful tendencies leave you picking up the slack, and the pervy comments and touches?

If you get one more you swear you're gonna level him.

He stands up with fistfuls of the new candy.

"Kisuke. Put it back."

However, he knows something about you that you definitely haven't come to terms with yourself.

Unfortunately, despite his outward stupidity, deep (and I mean deep) down, there's a part of you that knows how perfect he is. His happy go lucky exterior is see through to you now, and if you tell the honest truth, you like the mysterious and logical man underneath.

But you can't say it. You can't even think it. When you look at him, with his hoards of candy and that stupid grin, it makes you want to smack his face and push the feelings so deep that you'll never find them again.

And due to this ongoing battle, it's leaving you susceptible to his... flirtations.

So when he steps closer, with that wide smile still plastered on his face, and asks,

"What are you gonna do?"

You snatch a packet from his clutches and place it back on the shelf, organising them again. You turn back to take the rest but he has his hand held up with a hard sweet in his fingers. He's so close to your lips- he just smirks and tells you to open up, slipping the candy inside.

He watches your eyebrows furrow, but you accept the candy nonetheless. He swipes his thumb over your lip and traces over the corner of your mouth, then to your cheek.

"Hands off," you threaten, but he ignores you, bringing his thumb back to your lip to tease your mouth open.

"You like that flavour, too, don't you?" His voice is lilting and jovial, laced with something more sinister.

What is he thinking.

He slides his thumb over your tongue.

You grab his wrist and yank it back.

"Kisuke."

You've warned him about touching you like this.

But every time he does it just makes your feelings clearer.

You want him, and he knows. And the fact that it bothers you so much is very amusing to him.

"Kisuke, get your hands off me and help with this damn delivery."

But he persists, his palm finding your cheek with your hand still wrapped around his wrist, and he slides around to the back of your neck to pull you closer. You stumble over the boxes and trip forwards, your hands landing on his chest with a little yelp. You can feel his bare skin where his samue slips away.

"No," he wants you to admit it. He's had enough of playing the fool.

"Let's have some more candy."

He smiles and tilts your head up to his, squeezing your cheeks and leaning down.

Your eyes fly wide when he just keeps coming closer- you push back on his chest but he stills you with ease, bringing his lips to yours and licking the candy right out of your mouth.

"Kisuke-!! I swear- you're a fucking menace!! If you don't leave me alone I'm gonna--"

"What?"

"I'm gonna--"

Your mind goes blank and you see red.

You're not a violent person, you're not a violent person. You keep telling yourself before you drag a hand from his chest, pull back and swing your open palm at his cheek.

You have to close your eyes- your hand stings, but you can just hear him laughing.

"Haha, oh come on, you can't hate me that much?"

His voice turns all soft and you open your eyes to see that endearing smile, with a pink hand print over his cheek, and you suddenly feel very guilty.

You're overwhelmed by a rush of confusing thoughts and emotions- you look at his face and a tear steaks down your cheek.

"I hate you, you moron."

"C'mere, take it out on me, okay?"

He drags you to the back of the shop, that's still locked up, and lets you do just that.

Everything's happening so fast you can barely keep track- of his hands, his lips, his fingers.

He stripped you as soon as you gave him a certain look that told him your strong walls had finally been broken and that he was allowed to touch you how he wanted. How you wanted.

And now he's got you pinned against the wall with your legs wrapped around him your plans to tell him how much you despise him have gone out the window.

But the way he's treating you now, with his mouth finally closed around your nipple, is sending you to heaven and back.

And when he carries you in his arms, finding a chair and placing you on top, he tells you-

"Go on, fuck me like you hate me"

He pulls his pants down and lets you sink onto him slow and get your bearings, before you start riding him with deep and forceful thrusts.

He watches in awe, leaning back on the chair to see your body move. It's just how he dreamed.

"That's it-" he encourages you to get rougher until you're grabbing at the back of his neck and telling him to suck on your tits.

"With pleasure~"

That cheshire smile spreads again and his pale eyes twinkle before he follows your instruction.

"Harder"

"Hmm, hm whatever you say, darling"

"Ngh-- fuck... don't call me that-"

He bites and sucks on your perky nipples while your hand threads into his hair and starts tugging harshly.

"Oh~ oh Kisuke- fuck mee~"

He takes your expression very literally, grabs onto your waist and starts pumping his dick into you where he sits.

He is enamoured by your expression; with your mouth hanging open, definitely about to orgasm, and grabbing so helplessly onto the muscle of his shoulders till you can only whimper his name.

This brings him endless satisfaction.

"Don't hate me so much now, hmm?"

You frown and nod, afraid that you'll bite your tongue if you speak.

"Oh," he feigns a hurt expression with a pout, "you just love my dick then?"

You let out an annoyed 'mmmm'ing sound and try to take control again, but it's too late and he's got you starting to shake with his hard and constant thrusting.

You're about to cum, stuttering and telling him not to stop when-

"N-no- no fuck- "

-he starts to slow down.

"Tell me how you feel, sweetie."

His tone changes and he sounds all soft. He's not teasing you anymore.

But you just shake your head and press your forehead to his, desperately willing him to move faster again.

"I'll let you cum, 'promise. Just tell me what's in that pretty head of yours, hm?"

He coaxes you to look him in the eyes which are so wide and perfectly innocent. You've never seen him look like this before.

"Don't make me beg, come on- I'm desperate."

And he is. You can see it now- from the expression on his face to the way he can hardly control himself. He's the one who's supposed to be edging you... but his hips start moving again and he presses kiss after kiss to your lips until you open up and start to mumble over his lips.

"I- I like you, Kisuke- "

He moves a little faster now, still pressing you for more.

"I like you."

You say it again, hoping to appease him, but he builds up that intense knot in your stomach again and holds your back so gently when he says-

"We're not in high school, sweetheart. You can tell me more."

He keeps fucking you deep, now you're about to spill he smiles and watches you shake your head. You can't say anything else today, but he's sure he'll get more out of your pretty lips eventually. After waiting so long for this, he can be happy for now.

"Okay, okay," he coos and brings you over the edge softly, pressing his lips into your neck, "that's it, you can let go now- mmh- fuck~"

"I, I know I've never told you, but I hope you understand- how I feel about you."

You nod and a lazy smile covers his face as you watch his eyebrows screw up with pleasure and he bites his lip. He's not sure if he should say this next bit but he can't hold it in anymore.

"You know that I love you?"

"Oh- oh my god- Kisuke-"

You feel him filling you and you just nod and hold him so tight, pressing your lips together and feeling his warmth. He carresses you and holds you close to his body, letting you calm down and sink into his arms. And you sit there, on top of your boss, in the back of his shop, with the dim lights, and you realise it's nearly time to open up.

He takes you to the bathroom and helps you clean up before sitting you on the edge of the bath and telling you-

"About what I said-"

But you're quick to silence him with your finger over his lips, followed by a sweet kiss.

"I'll wait," he utters into the gap between your lips, "I'll be patient, ok?"

You nod and kiss him again and again, stroking hair and sinking into his touch one more time. You're afraid the shop is going to open late today.

bleach | m.list | zodiac event

[comfortlesshurt]

🎁🥳💘 for the fanfic writer ask game!

BLESS

🎁 Have a piece of a WIP you want to share?

Ooh, you're activating my inner turmoil--is it better to share and ruin surprises or hide and not get the fun of sharing?

...okay, middle option: dropping a broad overview!

The big thing I'm working on is (and I cringe to call it this because I hate this term for some reason, but it's the best term for it) a series rewrite. I wanted something that can keep everything I like from canon while also leaving room for me to throw in some completely new situations that are pretty much incompatible with canon. Plus, I get to look at things that were glanced over on-screen and go more in-depth on those. Also, it's baby's first real ship fic!

(It's actually been so frustrating because a lot of what goes into it are ideas I normally would've covered as a oneshot! But they fit well and help flesh things out, so they're serving better as material for this fic. Downside is I end up with fewer workable oneshot ideas now; hence the minor burnout.)

🥳 Why did you start writing fanfic?

I might've answered something close to this recently, so my bad if I'm repeating myself! I started because (I think it was) my fourth grade teacher told me I was good at writing fiction, and I'm a sucker for being told I'm good at things. I had no idea what fanfiction was at the time actually, but my sister and I were already roleplaying scenarios from our favorite TV shows, so adding in the concept of writing scenarios for my faves wasn't a far jump!

I'm hoping it's long dead and buried where no one can find it ever again, but knowing my mom's tendencies to hoard things, there may be some bad Code Lyoko post-canon fanfiction floating around her house.

💘 Is it easier to write angst or fluff?

Angst, 100%. Reading fluff is honestly growing on me slowly, but at its heart, I find it too unrealistic to enjoy writing much. (Would love to be proven wrong someday! But for the time being, I've seen a lot more angsty IRL situations than fluffy ones, and I'm a big fan of "write what you know.")

Everyone, go send an ask to my friend if you're in the mood! They've got the same game up!

[starmonsterrr]

Introducing: Undertale self-insert #102480125 (Version 1.0)

HELLO HELLO SO I KNOW I HAVE TO CATCH UP WITH INKTOBERTALE BUT SHUSH I NEED TO INTRODUCE IO'S "CREATOR" COUNTERPART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you haven't already read the introduction post of my primary Undertale 'sona' i advice you to do so. here's the link to it

DRRRRRRRRRUMMMROLLLLLLL

NOTE: THE REF NEEDS TO BE UPDATED

THIS THANG TOOK LIKE FOREVER TO FIGURE OUT BUT NOW I AM FREE FROM THE PAIN

Now it's time to explain the physics of this hhh

Aurum doesn't live inside the UTMV, but rather, exists as a creator for it, and lives in the fandom itself. That "fandom" location functions as a realm that allows for creativity from beings living in our world to brew and develop further to then take form in the UTMV itself, and is also where Creators can interact with eachother, no matter the distance.

Aurum cannot interact directly with the UTMV, but, due to being a Creator, is able to craft things and characters that live within it.

To do this, she requires a quill that it takes with itself wherever it goes. It functions as an outlet for her creative abilities.

I've also been thinking of the possibility of its soul being that quill, due to how tightly Aurum is connected to her creativity, but it might take me a bit to figure out the specifics for that.

In addition to creativity, Aurum is also able to spectate the works of other Creators, and of course, interact with said fellow Creators, but it can take her a bit to get out of it's shell.

Aurum tends to add quite an amount of detail to its work. While it has tried various artistic outlets, the one in which she excels the most is drawing, animation and writing, especially the earlier 2, as those are the hobbies it has been practicing since it has memory.

It also happens to be quite the extra-clever being. (extra clever earthbound spirit ghost in the form-)

It struggles with issues from a past fandom she used to mostly create for, and is trying to recover by 'pushing away shame', as it would word it. It also appears to have a particular dislike of what is known as cringe culture.

That scarf it wears? Just as the ref sheet says, it provides safety, but it also helps somewhat at covering up her neck scar that comes from a far older thing that happened. The scar may sometimes bleed when Aurum feels unsafe or as if it has 'slipped up creatively'.

Some bonus trivia:

Aurum's blood is gold! I made it like that because i myself have RH Null blood, which is also known as the....golden blood type.

It's design is inspired by the silver fox because I just recently found out it is one of my kintypes. And also because i have a tendency to represent myself online as a fox.

And the 'draconic' stuff? Dragon kintype, though that is covered by Io.

Speaking of, Aurum is the being that puppeteers Io.

INK FANGIRL INK FANGIRL INK FANGIRL

To add on the thing from above, this thing collects Ink images to survive.

probably has a little room full of simpy stuff

it's like a dragon hoard maybe

Aurum is meant to be in the autistic spectrum, as i myself am autistic!

I got the name Aurum from "Au", which is the periodic table of elements's symbol for gold. And y'know.... AUs! Aurum is a Creator! Doesn't that tie together nicely?

Yes, the scarf that it's wearing is a recreation of Ink's scarf.

Aurum first started as an arctic fox but then started getting covered in ink over time from drawing and drawing and drawing a lot, so it's basically identical to an actual silver fox.

Aurum sometimes stands on 2 legs, usually when interacting with other Creators.

I believe that's all i can think of right now, now off i go to catch up with Inktobertale. I may also do asks for Aurum when i take breaks! (AND I JUST REMEMBERED I MADE A SIDE BLOG TO RP AS IO HHHHH I GOTTA GET IT READY)

Later on i'll make a masterpost with the links to both Io and Aurum's posts

[draconivm]

“Guilt will eat you alive, Granger,” he muttered, expelling a heavy breath as he took the damn seat. “Due to how we’ve now both borne witness to each other’s mutilations, consider this a method of... trauma bonding.” The very thought disenthralled his stoic expression like shit under his nose. “I never want to see a fucking rune ever again.”

For a moment, Draco sat watching her as she began disseminating the piles. He’d wanted to make mention that she was a witch who could easily perform a detection spell, but he enjoyed the way she deftly fingered the spines with her rapid-fire movements. Hell-bent on the discovery. The riotous spill of her mane was outstanding, falling over her narrow shoulders and down her back, his mind now able to recall the texture.

He wanted to wrap his fist in it and pull.

Fate may have coaxed fortune into their hands, the dragon-hide sister to its sibling held tangible in her hands, this time whole and delectably detailing the next moiety of mori mementos. He eyed it suspiciously, no more thrilled for the cure than he was for the chase. It was done; the thing he’d obsessed over for months was secured, having performed acts of martyrdom, but Draco wasn’t the least bit fanatical in further delving into the details. Not when something else was intercepting his tendency to torment himself with things he had to rake over coals to redeem. What was once more?

His fingers shot out with seeker-speed to encapsulate her wrist, the book ultimately hitting the ground spine-first. There, laid forgotten, as he used the leverage on her limb to pull her to him. Despite the evening’s abuse, she was pliable in his hands, emboldened by his decision in what he wanted to do to her first. His fingers weaved through the back of her curly hair and tugged; the mild pressure forced her to look at him while he grabbed her hip and anchored her down into his lap.

“Are you thinking about me now?” Draco murmured, his eyes dropping to her lips, clearly waging erotema in the space before he kissed her with his unbridled audacity. It would never be a simple, subtle game of warfare when they’d trained in the very same maneuvers. The hand at her hip moved to catch her throat, sliding four fingers against the column as his thumb hooked right under her jaw. His mouth was wanting and catching cacoethes; tongue scraping, teeth pulling, the slower he willed himself to go, the faster his heart started to beat. The limerence of letting.

Draco pulled away from her lips and assaulted her pulse, licking and biting the skin like he’d been deprived of it all his life. In some ways, he had been. The son of a Sacred Twenty-eight, sitting in the chair of Salazar Slytherin with a muggle-born on his lap. He wanted to do things to Hermione Granger that would have them all rolling in their crypts, perverting their purity, both pleasurable and painful for the ones still able to feel it.

Muscles no longer condemned to the cruciatus residuals, Draco was able to hoist her from the chair and move them to the desk in the center of the room. Books, papers, it was all violently discarded with his wandless, wordless spellwork, leaving the founder’s lectern entirely bare for him to perch her there. He kissed her again as he stood between her legs, panting as he pulled away, deft fingers lingering at the hem of her shirt. Tugging at her clothing like a flimsy line of defense he was ready to magick off with the meager reserve he was hoarding.

“I want you,” he muttered between her lips, his kisses searing, strewn down her neck as he ruined her skin with his teeth and tongue. “Can I have you?”

[trashcankitty12]

What similarities do the Trix share with the ancestral witches (both in appearance and personality)? Do the Trix look like their ancestors when they were younger? Also are you going to write about Sapphire in your upcoming story and if you do, does she share any similarities with her ancestor?

I'm not sure for the canon series of events, so I'm only going to answer as far as "my" version of canon.

Under cut because this is loooong.

Belladonna-Icy:

As far as similarities go, Icy could be a dead ringer for Belladonna (as the saying goes). When alive, Belladonna was considered a terrifying sort of beautiful, with ice-white hair and piercing blue eyes.

Icy definitely has the hair and the eyes. Unlike Belladonna though, her face shape is more like her mother's side of the family, and her height is more from her mother's side as well. (Belladonna was a dangerous but petite woman.)

As far as clothing style goes, Icy dresses a bit more 'provocative' than what Belladonna did. (Considering Belladonna is from a time when women typically wore long dresses and robes and many, many layers.) However Icy does have Belladonna's love for capes/crowned back cloaks.

They also share their core magic as Ice Magic. Icy hasn't quite reached the level Belladonna reached yet, but she's still young.

Personality wise, they are extremely similar. Belladonna was an ambitious witch who wanted to rule over all, and as we've seen, Icy is the same way. Ambitious, a natural leader.

She's also cruel and cunning like Belladonna was, willing to cut down anyone in her path.

However, she's a bit more emotional than Belladonna was. Yes, Belladonna had her moments of 'avalanche causing/blizzard bringing/hail storm' temper tantrums, but they were far and few between. (She tended to be more quiet in her anger, but no less dangerous. The tantrums only happened with major setbacks... Like Griffin escaping them alive and when they realized they may not survive the fight on Domino.)

Icy, on the other hand, has a tendency to lose her cool and get overwhelmed with her anger, flash freezing everyone nearby.

Icy also is more likely to allow herself moments of joy and enjoyment, whereas Belladonna was definitely not much for 'resting and relaxing'. (Such frivolous activities wouldn't help their cause at all.)

And unlike Belladonna, Icy has allowed herself to have genuine feelings for others outside of her 'sisters'. Its only happened a time or two, but Icy has felt her little heart flutter once in a while. (Darko was a great guy... But there was too much going on around them.)

She and Belladonna are both selfish and have great egos/inflated senses of grandeur.

Belladonna was willing to steal both forms of the Dragon Fire and all powerful magic in the realms for herself and her sisters so they could rule the Magical Dimension by ushering in a "New Era of Darkness", thinking it was her calling to create more for her life. Of course her methods weren't 'friendly' and it started a whole war. (And centuries of building up a Cult disguised as a Coven.)

As for the selfish part of her plans, she tended to hoard more of the magic for herself, as she was 'the eldest'. She also tended to pick the strongest members for her personal Inner Circle.

Icy is much the same way, willing to toss her sisters under the bus if it means she gets the prize at the end. And she sees herself as becoming the next Grand Mistress of the new generation of Coven members, the one to usher in the New Era.

Lysslis-Darcy:

(I'm using the version of Lysslis' name that was present when I first started WINX, I have no idea when they changed it or if it was just an error in translation.)

Physically speaking, Darcy and Lysslis do look alike. Same golden eyes, same dark hair kept nice and long. About the same body shape (when Lysslis was alive and young that is). However Darcy's face shape is more like her mother's side of the family.

Like Lysslis, Darcy is also considered the more alluring of the trio, often using her sexuality and her looks to get what's needed. (Along with a dose of hypnosis/mind control magic for those who are a little more difficult.)

Clothing style wise, Darcy does share some fashion traits with Lysslis; wearing clothing that would be considered easy to move in and airy while also 'inviting'. (Though the most Darcy ever looked like her ancestor was when she wore that disguise against Jared.)

Darcy is admittedly taller than her ancestor, but not by much.

Magically, Darcy is incredibly similar to Lysslis, however she doesn't quite use her full potential like she should.

Lysslis was known for her grand illusions, her mind manipulations, her control over the very shadows within souls. And once her powers grew, she could even bring in spirits and ghosts to do her bidding, as well as psychically and psychologically torture her opponents.

Darcy could, in theory, do all of this. In fact, she has done it before. Often. But she's not into capturing and tormenting her opponents or creating 'sleeper agents' like her ancestor. Nor is she interested in twisting someone's mind so badly they kill themselves.

Basically, she's just not into it. She doesn't mind fucking with people's minds or using her powers to get what she wants (free stuff, people not to question why she's somewhere she shouldn't be, etc.), and she's all for defending herself however she has too. But to actively seek out people to psychologically traumatize isn't her thing. Honestly, it's too much work and not enough reward if it's not personal enough.

She also doesn't summon creatures as much as Lysslis did for her dirty work. It's a lot of power to summon things and she just doesn't want to waste power she may need for a direct fight than summon creatures she may not need.)

Personality wise; Darcy is bit lazier than Lysslis is. The goal for her isn't 'realm wide domination', though she's okay with helping her sister reach that goal. She's just in it for the fun and chaos it brings.

Ruling, to her is fun, in theory, but it's not a deep-rooted need. But in reality, she'd rather be the one planning or plotting. Studying. Researching. (Even if she gets called a nerd in the process.) But hey, what are sisters for if not helping each other rule the entire Magical Dimension?

She's actually a little bit like Lysslis that way. Researching and studying on magic and it's effects were something Lysslis took great pride in. (Though her experiments tended to be more... Extreme than Darcy's.)

Like Lysslis, Darcy is drawn to animals and manages to create strong bonds with the creatures she meets. However, unlike Lysslis, Darcy actually has some feeling toward the animals she brings in, whereas they were a means to an end for Lysslis.

Also like Lysslis, Darcy has a bit of a romantic sense about her. She enjoys the idea of dating and sex and being close to people. Granted, she also likes to toy with them, but there's still some genuine feeling there... Some... (Riven.)

But she's loyal to her sisters and their cause and she refuses to let herself become too sidetracked when it comes to their mission. (Lysslis was loyal to her sisters too, but she was also prone to have her part of the Coven members go do missions for her and her alone that tended to... Blow up. Darcy seldom ever does such things.)

Where Lysslis wouldn't hesitate to call Tharma and Belladonna, Darcy tends to follow her sisters' lead until it goes poorly. (Though she will make an effort to point out flaws or ways things could go wrong. It's why Icy comes to her for planning purposes.)

Like Lysslis, Darcy is one who will search out those who have wronged her and exact her revenge. (Unlike Lysslis, her success rate isn't the best considering her main targets are the Winx and they're still happily prancing about.)

Tharma-Stormy

Like Tharma, Stormy has the curled/kind of frizzy storm cloud hair. She's also got Tharma's face shape. Her eye color, however, is the same as her father's side.

She's smaller than Tharma is, actually. Her body shape is more like her father's side as well. (She has freckles like Tharma though! And is great at doing the same wild smile she does.)

Clothing wise, Stormy is a bit more provocative than Tharma was in her youth. Tharma was more into robes and anything loose and flowy, but modest in her wear.

Stormy prefers clothes she can move in and look great in. So... Major differences. (Of course, that's also because of differences from the times they're from.)

Power wise, Stormy is definitely Tharma's descendant. Tharma could create massive thunderstorms, devastating tornadoes, ravaging tsunamis, blinding blizzards, and horrific lightning storms. Stormy is much the same way.

And just like Tharma, the more damage she does, the more excited she becomes. She loves wrecking havoc and causing mayhem. Loves the pain she can cause by localizing her powers.

(Unlike Tharma, she's not quite as refined with her skills yet. But give her time.)

Personality wise, she's even more like Tharma. In fact, out of the Trix sisters and their Ancestors, Tharma and Stormy are the most alike.

She's sadistic, cruel, temperamental, and quick to fight. Tharma was just like that. Sadistic in her torture, cruel in her actions, and quick to fight whenever she felt slighted, even with her own sisters.

Like Tharma, she's also quick to get into physical fights. (And is pretty decent at physical fights as well, considering she enjoys using her magic any chance she gets.)

Tharma wasn't much for romance in her day, though she did enjoy 'having fun' from time to time. (Though how long any of her 'partners' lived varied...) Stormy... Much like that.

Stormy doesn't care for romance. She sees it as an unnecessary headache and just boring. As for sex, she's not really into it either. Can it be fun? Sure. Is it necessary? No.

Unlike Tharma, Stormy can find ways of enjoying herself that don't necessarily regard harming people or killing them. Like dancing or gaming, or even silly little makeover nights with her sisters.

Stormy tends to be a bit more hostile than Tharma was, as she's more willing to reject outsiders into her and her sisters' bubbles, whereas Tharma was fine with having new people to... "Teach".

The Case For Sapphire:

She's going to make an appearance, but it's not going to be too major. It's going to be a moment though.

Sapphire has no idea that Icy is her biological sister, nor do their parents remember having Icy. (My tie-ins thing on AO3 will tell you why. But basically, Lysslis had a vision of them losing the war and had their three youngest and most magically in-sync descendants would be found and raised to be their new puppets. So Darcy, Icy, and Stormy were essentially baby-napped and raised by hidden/underground Coven members to be 'triplet sisters' and fly under the radar. Which is why Griffin didn't think anything too odd of them despite recognizing their heritage.)

But she does have some distant similarities with Belladonna, though thanks to her raising, she's not quite like Icy.

Sapphire has the icy white hair and pale blue eyes that her sister and ancestor do. She also has powers over ice and snow. However, unlike Icy, she's not a witch... She's a fairy. Which has honestly blown the minds of her people. Though she's not completely surprised. Her mother's family tree does have light magic in there.

As the daughter of the Governor of Dyamond, she is polite and well-behaved around others. She's also quiet, a bit reserved.

But don't let that fool you; she does have a slight temper, one that could rival her sister's. It just takes a lot to get her there as she's normally quite a jolly young woman.

(I hope this answers your questions! Sorry it took so long, I had to plan this out.)

[the-welsh-witch]

I think my issue sometimes, in of myself, is that I ask Too Many Questions.

Not that asking Too Many Questions is bad, it's more so I have a high possibility of having ADHD and I have dyslexia, so my brain runs on a 'find new thing, learn EVERYTHING about said new thing as quickly as possible before we forget'.

Which, of course, for Witchcraft is fantastic, because I'm constantly learning and growing, and my thirst for hoarding knowledge brings me into contact with new people, and I learn even more, but I do have a tendency to struggle to slow down.

It's the start of Mabon today as I write this, and Tyr entered my space today. Naturally, I was really excited, I find him, Freya and Freyr, Fenrir and Jormungandr really really cool, and want to learn more about Norse Mythos, so asked if he would be sticking around or if he wanted to work with me in the future in the Norse Aspect, and fully got told to 'calm down and slow down' by like three different deities (at this point Rhiannon and Manawydan have realised I don't mean bad, I just get very excited to learn, and Hekate I think clocked it immediately since she made me research her in-depth so I slowed down a bit before working with me at all lol).

So I think it may just be the neurodivergance in me, but I do worry sometimes that I come across as a pest, when legit I walk into a practice, whether it be art or music or witchcraft, and my first thought is 'How does this work, and Why, and What is the history behind it?'

[mothman-clarice]

Ok so I watched american psycho for the first time last night and I got a great idea for a cool crossover/thought experiment.

What if Patrick Bateman met Hannibal Lecter?

Quick note: I haven't read the book american psycho but I have done a little research about it. Also I'm aware that theres a lot of debate on whether or not patrick actually kills anybody since he is a very unreliable narrator. For the sake of this analysis we will assume all of his murders are real since I dont feel like opening up that complicated can of worms lol.

So first I'd like to do a little character analysis/compare and contrast with both of them cus I think these characters are very interesting to compare.

Let's see what they have in common first. They both are serial killers and cannibals who are lethally efficient and prolific. They are both very successful with Bateman being a millionaire wall street investor and hannibal being Lithuanian royalty and a successful psychiatrist. They are characterized as having some sort of mental illness/disorder, bateman obviously being a stereotypical psychopath plus possibly antisocial personality disorder and hannibal having several which I cant name off the top of my head. They are both known for having "high class" taste and deeply emerse themselves in fine culture.

Now let's talk about their differences...

While yes they both share one key character trait (being murderers) they are still vastly different in terms of personality and behavior. Let's start with their attitude/tendencies towards murder.

Hannibal may be a prolific vicious murderer but if you look closely enough you will see he actually has some form of moral compass. He never hurts children, only adults over the age of 20. He rarely if ever kills women (at least to my knowledge, I haven't read all the books or seen all the movies) which is very likely rooted in his chivalrous nature. He never kills out of the blue, he always has some reason for it, be it his victim making a rude remark or doing something hannibal finds reprehensible. No matter what, he always has some reasoning behind his killings. So while yes he is a vicious murderer, he does actually have a moral compass if you look hard enough.

And then there's Patrick Bateman.

Patrick's murderous behavior is completely different from hannibal. He is erratic and random, killing whoever just so happens to be closest whenever he gets the urge. He has compulsions to kill whereas hannibal pretty much has full self control and only kills of his own free will. Patrick never has any clear reasoning for his murders beyond very vague rationalizations which mostly boil down to "they are different from me" or they said something he perceived as a personal insult. Unlike hannibal, bateman has absolutely no moral compass since he completely lacks empathy. He despises anyone who is higher or lower class than him (especially the lower class), he despises women and views them as objects made for his sexual pleasure and nothing else. Women, especially sex workers, are actually his primary targets since he already views them as subhuman and knows he has great power over them physically and often financially. To him humans are tools he uses to achieve his desires. He completely lacks any emotion, even saying his only emotions are greed and disgust.

He is the purest example of the Id you could possibly think of. His brain is controlled by the most base primal instincts: hoard resources to preserve your own survival, fight and kill anyone you see as a threat or as different from you, and have sex as much as possible. His ultimate goal in life is to fit in with the rest of the white cishet male wall street yuppies, his "tribe" if you want to continue with the primitive themes.

In regards to emotion hannibal does very much feel. Yes his perception of emotion may be different from most people but he still absolutely has the capacity to feel sadness, love, joy, and more alongside anger and disgust. He may be violent but he is not devoid of empathy. We all know he falls deeply in love with clarice because he empathizes with her trauma and struggle. He recognizes her frustration with trying to get the male dominated world to notice her capability and strength. He marvels at her brilliance and adores her independence, he loves her, so so much.

What does bateman love? Well he certainly loves money and power. But does he feel that way about anything else? No. The closest thing he feels to love is lust, primal carnal desire. He hates women, he only values them for sex and nothing else. (Sorry to break the essay emerson but I just need to say this. Why didnt this guy just get a fleshlight? A sex doll? Like if you hate women so much but wanna fuck just get a fuckin toy dude, I'm sure they existed in the 1980s 🙄)

Another thing I noticed they differed with is their attitude towards wealth and media. Patrick is obviously obsessed with both. Media permeates every moment of his existence, constantly listening to music every chance he gets, "watching" movies (mostly just playing them as background noise), obsessing over p0rnography, and so much more. His attitude towards porn is especially interesting to me as he doesnt seem to consume it in the way people normally do. The first scene that comes to mind is the one where hes on a phone call with Evelyn while a porn video plays on his tv. He doesnt even look at the screen, he seemingly shows zero interest. Theres nothing near him in the scene that would suggest he was "enjoying" it (tissues, lotion, y'know..). Its like he just put it on as background noise just like he does with movies. He has similar behavior when he brings in the escorts and rambles about music while instructing them to perform for him, despite the fact he spends most of the beginning walking around his apartment not even looking at the women. It's like he has no idea how human sexuality works, he obviously doesnt feel horny given those two examples, it's like he just has sex and looks at porn because it gives him some kind of status or maybe it just gives him something to do. Maybe he does it purely because it seems like something a "normal human" would do.

As for his obsession with wealth, bateman seems to have a similar attitude. He hates going out with people to diners since we know he hates people in general. He seems to only go out with his fellow yuppies to feel like hes part of something. He pretends to get along with them and says anything they like to hear, putting on a character as if he was playing out a fantasy in his head. He expects people to be impressed with his wealth and feels deeply insulted when they're not. He sees wealth as a necessity, he constantly needs to be richer and more extravagant than everyone else. He is the ultimate personification of greed, a gluttonous, jealous dragon whose hoard is never big enough.

As for hannibal? Having been raised in royalty he naturally grew accustomed to lavish living and views it as his normal. He feels most comfortable having gourmet meals regularly, his day clearly planned out with plenty of activities to do, and generally a life full of savoring the finer things and enjoying many of the pleasures of noble life. Unlike patrick who's idea of lavish is hoarding expensive things he doesn't need and parading them around to inflate his ego, hannibal's idea of lavish living is playing piano, watching Shakespeare plays, reading classical literature, admiring fine art both old and new. He has no need for parading around his wealth because it doesnt matter to him.

You see what I mean? Bateman views wealth as a tool to gain status and be part of a community. Hannibal does not really perceive wealth since it has always been a part of his life, he doesnt want more wealth since riches alone dont give him pleasure. To hannibal wealth is simply the norm and something he pays no mind to, whereas patrick is utterly and completely addicted to it.

I feel like I've rambled long enough and pinned down their primary differences. I honestly had a lot of fun writing this! I find both characters incredibly fascinating and I thoroughly enjoyed dissecting them both side by side. I hope you all liked it too of course.

Also, good news! I'm finally starting my week long vacation from work so I'll have a lot more free time to post. So look forward to more activity from me in the future :)

[nat-stimmy]

so earlier today, I got some asks pertaining to OCD that I'm not entirely sure how to respond to, but I still want to answer... somehow. I want to keep them in my inbox for a little bit for personal reasons, but it also just didn't feel right to ignore them because I didn't Dislike them or anything, and they hit on some good points about how I talk about my OCD on here that I've been worried about since I started. this will be a long and personal post, so as always with these, block the #personal tag if you don't wish to see these.

I have OCD. I have OCD and am seeing an OCD specialist semi-regularly for treatment and therapy. I have a lot of issues with intrusive thoughts and anxiety that borders on paranoia. I don't make this a particularly well-kept secret, and that is very much on purpose

throughout my life, the only kind of ocd symptoms and traits and representation I saw were the contamination/cleaning/hoarding subtypes. I do not have those (except for maybe hoarding tendencies, but that's uncertain and may not even be true clinically), so I never realized that I was suffering from this disorder.

if I had known sooner, I would have had a much, much better childhood. if I had known about intrusive thoughts, obsessions, and compulsions, I think I may have been able to avoid a depressive episode brought on by self-hatred and fear, not just of the people around me but of my own brain.

to the concerned anon in my inbox earlier: thank you. I sincerely, truly appreciate your warnings and words of support. I understand the risks of talking openly about my intrusive thoughts and I understand that there are many, many bad actors who may use this openness against me.

but I don't want to give OCD power over me anymore. I don't want to have to hide this stuff away and try to ignore it until it all gets overwhelming and I crash. because that's what I've been doing my whole life, and I'm tired of it.

if i could open up about my symptoms and struggles, then not only would that help me not feel like I'm broken or evil or disgusting, but it may help others who are dealing with this too feel seen.

I want to help people avoid the shame and fear that OCD instills in us daily. I want to let people know that their intrusive thoughts are not who they are. I want to help end the stigma around talking about mental illnesses like this that have upsetting sides to them.

I want people to know they're not alone.

so while this blog will not be centered around my struggles with OCD, I'm still likely going to talk about it when/if the topic comes up. because it's part of who I am, a part of me that isn't going away. it influences everything, even how I format gifs in stimboards and what I find stimmy at all!

[psychomoxxie]

Hold On, Tooth and Nail and Fur

It's hard to take one's own advice, that pain passes, to not give up when the pain gets so bad that you can't see past it, because it's not a permanent condition...

But what if it is?

The thing about chronic pain is that IS a permanent condition, more or less. I don't remember my life before the pain, anymore.

I don't remember what it's like to wake up without my body hurting, to some degree -- and if I'm honest, to some worsening degree, as the years...lately as the months, even...go by.

The term "quality of life" comes to mind. I find it harder and harder to see in my own life, these days. What keeps me going is my two cats, to be perfectly honest. I love them, they bring me a lot of joy, and I hate the clutter and chaos they have to live in, with Joe's condo and his hoarding tendencies. This Spring, as soon as my body starts to (hopefully) feel a little better, I am going to insist we do some serious clearing out of some of the shit in this place, because Esmerelda clearly is allergic to the dust in this place, and a lot of that is due to all the crap everywhere. It kills me seeing her sneeze -- despite the caregiver I've got coming in to clean once a week. there is only so much he can do, with the piles of STUFF everywhere.

But I digress. The only things that keep me going, a lot of the time, lately, are my cats. That may sound crazy to a normal person, but to anyone who suffers from serious chronic illness or depression or any other mental illness, you get it, I'm sure.

If I didn't have my cats, I'd surely have given this shit up as a bad deal long ago. The pain I was in today was off the charts, and nothing could touch it until far into the afternoon. It was horrible. Esmerelda spent most of the day snuggled next to me, and she kept me connected and sane. I just don't know if I would have been able to get through it if not for her. Just another sentient being, her soft fur, her purring, her little beating heart...her need for affection and food -- Calvin, too, of course. He doesn't snuggle as much when I'm ill, but whenever I got up, he was there to greet me and demand pets and treats.

They keep me connected, grounded.

Without them, I just don't know. Days like today are sheer, unmitigated torture, otherwise. And I am so tired.

Thank god for my cats. I love them so much. I need them.

People say we need human connection, but honestly, as someone with a chronic pain illness, as well as sometimes severe depression (et al), I think it's the connection with my animals that I need even more. If I didn't have that, I'd truly be fucked. When I'm in serious pain, I can't deal with people, in fact I'd rather do anything BUT speak with another human being -- but I need my cats for comfort.

Lately, the progression of my illness has been depressingly painful and painfully depressing. Some days I just want it to be all over. But, I know my cats need me, and so I have to stick around, for them. And that keeps me going.

They are my little lights at the end of the tunnel.

[authenticityacctability]

Sometimes ya gotta get real with yourself about stuff. Like.. my craft room… is half hoarded. I got real honest with myself about that today and I have been working on it.

Things to note if you’re a fellow ADHDer with a similar issue:

There is a lady on YouTube who posts under the username Clutterbug who explains there are different types of organizers, there’s bees, butterflies, grasshoppers, etc. if you are organizing your stuff the wrong way it may be half the issue.

Spoiler alert, I’ve been trying to organize the wrong way.

- the way my brain works, if it is inside a box or bin (unless it’s clear) I forget it’s there.

Therefore, I had tons of boxes and bins and kept trying to sort my stuff that way. This only got me duplicate items and frustrated.

I am going for a more open organization where everything is visible. Especially the things I want to use.

I can already tell this will be a game changer.

However, it is eye opening to see the amount of bins and organization things I attempted to use that just don’t work.

I will be hauling much of it off to goodwill because WOW.

Making time for me again is also liberating. I can tell I just put things in the room thinking “someday” bc life, and school, and kids.. and guess what, someday wasn’t ever coming. I needed to make space and time TODAY.

It’s really easy to get overwhelmed and shove tasks off. But I’ve been starting to get more deliberate about putting me first, even in small doses.

I want to see if this also impacts my tendency to hoard things. Perhaps I can still use some bins that aren’t clear as long as they are properly labeled and macro organized (rather than micro).

Anyway, that’s just my ramble of the day.

[halliescomut]

Secret Crush on You Ep 10

-IDK why but for some reason I was surprised they started where they left off....Good Lord!!

-Do you think the Durex is an ad? Also, that's not a great way to open a condom, high possibility of damaging it.

-Also the bisexual lighting makes another appearance.

-Okay I had my headphones in for this ep...the kissing/almost moaning noises. Hooh!!!

-Aww, Toh's little memories montage. That's so precious.

-"I promise you that my feelings towards you will never change." This feels like a set-up and now I'm nervous.

-No, sad Jao....fix it, somebody fix it quick!!!

-Excellent advice Toh.

-This is a good idea from Som and Daisy to help Toh curb his stalker hoarding.

-God that wink.

-YES!!! Reinforce that your body type doesn't indicate your health or fitness level.

-Sky, you're killing me. "Behave" "No."

-Yes Jao. Stake your claim. It's so hilarious that Sky was completely oblivious to that chick. Fantastic.

-God they're just so precious. That's all you can even say about them!!!

-Sky...you really you maybe should have warned your friends if you were gonna bring a date that's not the gender they've seen you date before. Like, he must not have thought they'd be against it, but like...a heads up probably would have prevented some of this awkwardness.

-This backfired on Sky so hard. He's so afraid Jao will say he's not interested.

-Sky.exe error!

-"Your friends might make fun of you." Well then they're shitty friends Jao and Sky needs to get new ones. But also for the love of Jeff Satur please learn to recognize that you're a catch Jao!!

-Toh...why are you throwing a tantrum in the middle of the mall?? You're lucky Nuea thinks it's cute.

-Toh!!!...Awww, Nuea's face. I feel so bad.

-If Nuea were set up to be a different type of character I'd say Toh's well on his way to a spanking right now.

-God the bowtie. I don't disagree with the concept of initiate make-up sex since I made my partner grouchy, but like...

-Oh god it was another fantasy.

-Poor Toh's clumsiness. Baby's having a rough day.

-Smooth Nuea....real smooth.

-I should have suspected what the hand on the head would mean but...

-"Your voice right now is higher than your IQ." Damn Som.

-That may have been the most realistic sports injury I've seen in a BL. And Jao was so worried about Sky.

-Yes....matchmake for Touch. Do it bestie!!!

-I love all the couples/potential couples at the party and the teasing. It's so great.

-That fake-ass smile Sky...Jao can see right through you.

-Poor Sky though...sweet (very hot) baby.

-First kiss! First kiss! First kiss!

-Toh's stalker tendencies are showing again, but I do think he's right that Jao would appreciate one pic, but like, you shouldn't keep watching Toh..

-Uh oh....seems like next ep we're gonna meet the PARENTS, or Nuea's dad at least. Who I'm assuming will be one of the adults we keep seeing in the opening credits.

Score for this ep....gonna do 7/10, maybe 7.5 since we got Jao finally verbally admitting his feelings to Sky.

Awkward score- 8.5/10, that mall tantrum was almost too much.