#started reading what you wrote and literally yelled “NO THEY DIDNT” as i read it multiple times

[homo-house]

And I highly recommend actually reading primary sources instead of combing through wikipedia because literally half of what you said is factually wrong

JSTOR DID NOT HAVE SWARTZ ARRESTED

JSTOR DID NOT CALL THE COPS ON HIM NEITHER DID THEY ENCOURAGE MIT TO DO SO

THEY DID NOT "OVERREACT" TO A "BUMP" - He was downloading so much, so fast the requests were CLOGGING THEIR SERVERS and risking RENDERING THEM INCAPABLE OF OFFERING PROPER SERVICE

JSTOR DID NOT "DECIDE TO PUNISH HIM". THEY LITERALLY ONLY ASKED HE RETURNED THE DATA AND NEVER AT ANY POINT PRESSED ANY CHARGES. They literally dropped the matter entirely after he turned in the data and only cooperated with the prosecutors because they were subpoenaed

THERE WERE NO JSTOR CHARGES TO BE DROPPED IN THE FIRST PLACE

JSTOR DID NOT HAVE SWARTZ ARRESTED OR PRESS CHARGES

THIS IS LITERALLY ALL THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA'S FAULT The case is literally called "United States v. Swartz"

Please for the love of god Swartz is rightfully an icon and deserves to have his legacy respected and remembered and I am completely behind his good intentions but he did it in a way that not only caught JSTOR's attention incredibly fast but also put their infrastructure at risk of being rendered useless to other users which literally gave JSTOR no choice but to investigate? Had he literally put a throttle on the download/request speed it might've even gone unnoticed.

What you said about JSTOR and MIT collaborating and just calling it done???? THAT'S LITERALLY WHAT HAPPENED????? THE INVESTIGATION WAS CONDUCTED INTERNALLY BY JSTOR AND THEY ONLY BROUGHT MIT IN BECAUSE THEY HAD REACHED THE END OF THEIR ROPE AND THEIR SERVERS CONTINUED TO BE STRAINED

You didn't even get the investigation part right they didn't "ask around" they set up a camera to find him out

I am not saying he deserved it, he did not!!!! This man should be alive and well and had a lot to contribute and I fully support the idea that knowledge be free and accessible and think the IP laws in place are bullshit and have to go down, but spreading misinformation and blaming innocent actors instead of THE REAL CULPRIT, THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA AND THE PROSECUTORS ORTIZ AND HEYMANN. By not blaming the real culprits you are doing them a favor, but you will get absolutely nothing from blaming JSTOR???

ok so tumblr also really needs this reminder based on some posts ive seen around lately, the "babygirlification" of JSTOR is bad. like Bad Bad. did you all just collectively forget history? did you alll just forget they have blood on their hands? just because they publish science stuff in an ever so slightly more ethical way than springer and are a little silly on social media sometimes? JSTOR killed aaron swartz (wikipedia). in his fight for freedom of information he downloaded papers off of jstor (with acedemic access from MIT) to share and make freely accessible (as all information should be), for this he was charged with wire fraud, computer fraud, unlawfully obtaining information from a protected computer, and recklessly damaging a protected computer. he was facing up to 50 years in prison and a 1 million USD fee for a simple act of downloading files he lawfully had access to. with this court case the US government drove one of the most important online activists and programmers (he is behind so much stuff you all take for granted) into suicide in the name of JSTOR.

JSTOR isn't the cool girl on the block. this isnt a call to boycott them (though please learn how to use things such as sci-hub and fight for open science and freedom of information in general please <3), but please dont glorify them as some sort of cutesy platform.

[bedforddanes75]

do you have any fanfiction recs??

I DO!!!!!! im honoured that someone's thought of Me to ask for recs omg... anyway theyll be under the cut because making long posts without a cut makes me feel mean

okay im assuming u mean gatty cos. its Me so sorry if u didnt 😞 smut is marked with * btw!!! (also before i start i'm sorry to everyone i tag i Hate tagging it's really scary.) SO. in no specific order. let's go

love me to death* by...somebody who i do not know the tumblr of (sorry) is amazing. i'd also recommend everything else by this person, too, because all of it is beautiful.

all the king's horses by the wonderful @allylikethecat is one of my all time faves, it just makes me want to scream and cry and yell and jump up and down. in a very, very good way!! (also, it has horses, so.)

the big light by @betweenthings2 is for real godsent, and i would die to be able to write like this!!!!! (but if u do then tw for speak of s/a!! keep urself safe!) it's beautiful and sad and sad and sad and wonderful. again, i'd recommend everything else by them, too!!! (also loads of crisps because it got updated like three seconds ago, and i Love It)

in the search for it, inside of you* by @arainesque is so beautifully sad, and the best thing ever. it's so soft and wonderful and lovely and aaaaaahhh!!! the way she wrote their dynamic makes my heart ACHE. obsessed always :(((((<3

how little i really know (about the things that matter)* OH MY GOD. farm boy george. literally almost entirely what inspired deus like it's AMAZING. beautiful and i love it so much

roadkill, again, by @betweenthings2 because she's genuinely amazing and deserves nine hundred thousand billion kudos on every single fic <3 (tw for restrictive (i think) EDs btw!!) i think if i read this while not in a good mood i would explode and die. it's amazing

into my spiral patterns you (my love) by @lookedlikethebins which is in progress rn is HWHSKJSJSJ. beautiful. obsessed with how they've written george in this one <3

okay im Very sorry to everyone who i tagged here i genuinely hate tagging people so much it makes me SICK but i kinda felt bad speaking about fics and Not tagging people. LORD. someone give me a tumblr etiquette class

[rosekasa]

🦉🌷🔮 for the fanfic writers game!

HANAA, JAANEMAN!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!

🦉Is there another author that helped inspire you to write?

omg so many come to mind and im actually afraid that im going to miss people out because i feel like the only reason i write is because of the people i admire. between 2021-2023 i really struggled with writing for a bit, i dont know why, someone gave me nazar probably, but there are some writers who i would read COPIOUS amounts of and think, this, THIS love i feel while reading is the love i want to feel about my own work

@jattendschaton , obviously, has been one of my biggest inspirations since i was a BABY. their writing is so descriptive and evocative. so insanely detailed. studying their writing was what got me into the habit of trying to find different ways to express a sentence to see if i could get a more accurate representation of the feeling i wanted to convey

@frostedpuffs and @lnc2 were the first ml writers i ever read <3 i didnt even know i wanted to write fic at the time! honestly a lot of my earlier characterisations/ways of writing are heavily inspired by their works because i was so obsessed with them! they made me want to start posting on ml ao3 in the first place

@xiueryn , i downloaded a bunch of yilena's fics onto my kindle in late 2022 and fucking DEVOURED them. i hadn't really been reading longer ml fics at all at the time but yilena's... i could not stop. their worldbuilding, their pacing, the way they make writing 40k+ word fics seem almost effortless? it became a joke with my irl best friend because i would literally randomly say "oh yilena you legend" while readingsdjkfhsd

@miabrown007, i read seven is a lucky number and it RUINED me for life. i dont know why this is what keeps coming to mind, but in her a/ns she mentioned that she HAD to end the word count on a multiple of seven, and i was like, oh my god, she puts so much structural thought into her stories. meeting her irl and hearing her talk about her writing process in detail was an out of body experience. that day itself i wanted to finish a multichapter

@asukiess, if loving ao3 user asukiess was a cult i would run it. i read tbsym and it really slapped me in the face because, having encountered it at a time where i felt like i ran out of any and all ability to be unique and creative with ml, i was like, oh my god, this person just wrote 10k+ words about. kuro neko?? a twenty minute episode? and she got SO MUCH out of it? and it hit me that like. if you love something enough you WILL find a way to create more out of it.

🌷What's one of your fics that isn't as popular, but you hold dear?

i have all my stats turned off on ao3 so i havent actually had that feeling of "aw i love this fic i wrote but it didnt really get popular" in like. three years sdjfhdsjkfds but checking my stats now, hmm. maybe ya'aburnee? which is funny because although it has fewer kudos than my other fics it's also the fic that people who i meet in the fandom yell at me for the most. at the mcm ml meetup a friend who came was like "HOW ARE U COMPLAINING ABOUT MCD YOU LITERALLY WROTE IT" and i so vehemently was like NO I LITERALLY DIDNT WHEN and they were like??? are u fucking stupid. it was great

🔮What's your favorite plot twist you've ever written?

the plot twist to ya'aburnee was a banger in the outlines but i feel like i didnt execute it that well in the actual fic. but lpoam i think was my FAVOURITE favourite. i even cried while writing the death scenesfdjshd

[itsrainingpussywillows]

TEEF

Mikey Madison x fem!reader

- Inspo: Sophie Thatchers bird scooter accident, my own tweet, and an old 1D imagine

- NOTE: guys i am NOT a writer in any way i literally wrote this on my toilet when i just got inspired while reading Jake Paul wattpad fics , i dunno how to use tumblr i suck at this LMFAOOO also i rode on a bird scooter once 2 years ago so im #QUALIFIED to write this

I wake up from my slumber as the bright sun-rays peek through my blijds. I turn over to my right side my girlfriend Mikey Madison is still asleep resting peacefully. I admire her for a few seconds more and kiss her forehead. “G’morning” she says GAWD she looks even more beautiful in the morning. “C’mon baby we have to get up and get ready. Did you forget about what I have planned for today??” I ask with a chuckle “‘Course not I js need a couple more minutes.” she mumbles less than 30 minutes later we are already out of the door

Today was meant to be a fun filled day. We were going to go get breakfast at Dutch Bros and then we were going to go drive downtown and ride those little bird scooters but absolutely positively nothing could’ve prepared me for what was going to transpire later today.

“ hi can I get one large picture-perfect and one large chai latte?” Mikey was ordering, my social anxiety just could NOT handle that. once we got to the window, we paid and they gave us two pink straws. I squealed with excitement as pink is my favorite color and also they thought we were pretty #STRAWCODEEE am I right?

The whole rest of the car ride was full of singing, dancing, laughs, and overall just two crazy women hyped up on caffeine

we drove around for a bit more when we parked Mikey and I got out and begin to walk over to the nearest Bird scooters. Mikey pressed a couple of buttons on her phone, so did I and just like that we were all set to ride our scooters “Y/n COME ONNNN” Mikey said as she started ZOOMING on that damn thang.

We had been riding for about 30 minutes down the street until we reached a crosswalk. “ Wanna race?!” Mikey yelled from the other side of the street “ YEAH” I yelled back, It wouldn’t be too long before the crosswalk said that it was OK for us to go. “ ON THREE “ She yelled and began counting down

“1..2..3!”

we started speeding down the hill. I was in the lead we were both giggling and laughing until i was launched forwards. My wheel had gotten stuck on a small rock and launched me face first right on the cold hard concrete. everything from this was a blur I just remember seeing a bit of red and hearing mikey scream.

beep.. beeep .. beeeeeeeep

my eyes flutter I woke up in a bright hospital room “Y/n ypure awake!!” Mikey exclaimed “Oh my God I thought I would never see you again!” she said “What do you mean?” i asked when my doctor, Dr. Paul as in doctor. JAKE Paul came in the room to explain. “ well girl you had a Bird scooter accident. Also you lost all your teeth so you’re gonna have to get a teeth transplant surgery sorry!” he explains “What i losth all my teef?????!”

“ i’m afraid so, do you have anybody in mind that would be willing to give you their teeth? If not, we can just get you veneers, but that’d be kind of hard. You know you lost all your teeth.” I took a moment to think since I didnt want my lovely beautiful sexy gorgeous girlfriend Mikey Madison to give up her precious teeth “ no I don’t hav anybody who I fink would be willing to give me their teef” “Well honey it’s settled. Looks like it’s time for you to get some veneers!” he exclaimed in a southern accent before pulling out a huge needle. “W-what isth that?” I stuttered

“Horse tranquilizer!” he said excitedly and before i could interject he injected it into my arm and I was out cold. in what felt like barely a minute I woke up to my girlfriend standing over me. “Mikey I’m Alive!” i scream “Who do you fink gave you your teef”, she says smiling and that’s when I finally get a good look at her mouth

all of her beautiful pearly white teeth were gone and apparently inside of my mouth “But Mikey y-you cant! let me give you back your teeth. I don’t need them besides how am I supposed to kiss you? You have no teeth.” i stated frantically. “Isth okay y/n, you needed them more” she says hugging me gently

“But-“ “Shhhhhhhhh” she interrupted me “We’ll find a way to get me more teef, i promisth”

[okthatsgreat]

🧠✏️

I'm obsessed with Sae I would ask every question if I coule I lov themn

AAAA this means so much to me bc IM OBSESSED WITH HIM TOO i am very very glad people like her ............................... 😁

oc ask game! (plus some art at the bottom lol)

🧠 - what do you like most about the oc?

answered HERE but alsoooooo i can definitely think of something else :)

i LOVE writing her dialogue LMAOO. her whole gimmick is that she acts wayyyyy older than she actually is, and when i say that i mean she truly acts like an old man. she is a very slow talker a mover and figuring out how to write for her has been lots and lots of fun !!!!

she uses a lot of ellipses... and always drags on a sentence if it is possible. she never uses exclamation points if she can help it... because she tries not to raise her voice... and typically doesn't get excited or emotive about many things. she trails off a lot, either on a tangent about a sailing story or simply because she has lost focus... and includes a quote from her afi or from a writer that can shed wisdom on the situation. everything is a lesson to be learned, you see... she also tends to repeat herself at the end of the sentence, she does. it's either "you see" or some variation of "i do/i am", depending on what was said... and of course she always refers to her boats and the ocean using she/her. laughs like an old man too, eheheh... always keeps the mood light

but, uh, when she gets flustered she uses "um" and "uh" a lot. especially when backed into a corner. sounds a lot less wise. her sentences get shorter when she's upset. real short. she tends-- you see, she tends to stutter a lot more when she is stressed, or in a tense mood. corrects herself, or-- sometimes, she cuts herself off before she says anything too harsh. her tone grows a lot more "childish", and she wants to sound like she knows what she is doing. won't raise her tone. just gets rather blunt with you.

unless she gets very irritated. because then she starts to emphasize certain words to you in an almost condescending manner, and-- and she still might stutter over her words because she is thinking less about them, but they are all flowing out of her mouth at this point. and if you push her too far she'll start yelling! exclamation point! it is rare to get an exclamation point from her! if you push her hard enough she'll scream! she'll fucking yell!!

but yea anyways she's been fun GHFDJKG

✏️ - how often do you draw/write about the oc?

grins. the grinner

SOOOOOOOOO sae as of right now is being used in a killing game rp which means i get to write for her pretty oftennnnn :) she gets to hang out with a whole cast of awesome characters that are both amazing and stressing her out so badly. as hell. it is chapter 2 currently (we're at the motive!!) and literally every single thing is going wrong (the motive concerns her family and of course her afi was threatened bc thats all shes got, her plan to escape failed miserably and shes starting to resent people with very little reason, somebody in the killing game knows JUST WHAT TO SAY to seriously push her buttons) but she'll persevere 😍 she'll persevere and get so much worse

i loveee the rp server bc the people there love to write fics and draw art of their own AND each others characters and i eat it up every single time. me included i love creating for these rps :) which MEANS i actually do draw and write for her a bit often!! now a lot of it is practice and/or doesn't get sent to the server lmfaooo i think the last fic i wrote for her (and finished-- i keep starting things and stopping 😔) was a backstory fic for her about that one bad memory i mentioned in the last ask :) a single person has read it and that is the person running the rp in the first place ghfdjkg

UM UM here's some old art that i sent to the server and didnt post here !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and here's a chart of literally ALL of her siblings LMFAOOOO

[azsazz]

CC3 Anon

spoilers under cut

Hiii it’s CC anon. THANK GOD YOU RESPONDED NO ONE ELSE I KNOW IS READING THIS BOOK 😭

I finished CC3 last night and yeah. I enjoyed the pacing at the beginning of this book more than the first two books because we’re already in the thick of the climax and don’t have to build up suspense again but omg it dragged in the middle.

I did not care for Ithan at all I’m sorry. And yes he hasn’t been a pro sun all player in YEARS idk why she keeps bringing it up. I think someone stumbled and he caught her and Sarah went “his sunball reflexes” HES A WOLF HE WAS ALWAYS GOING TO HAVE QUICK REFLEXES. Had him running up and down to resurrect Sigrid and in the end it DIDNT EVEN MATTER.

Lmaoooo Ithan mostly acted ago appropriate if I think about it. He's like 20 I'm assuming since he's around college age. He's def not my favorite character either tbh. Love how everything fell into his lap tho. Literally anytime he was mentioned so was snuball it was so fucking dumb.

I know you like Tharion but can he do anything right omg. Ithan carried him with the Viper Queen. Sathia carried him in front of the Ocean Queen 😭 I WAS SO PISSED ABOUT THE ANTIDOTES OMG and then Ithan went and did the same. I see why they are best friends like wow stupid really follows stupid.

LMAO I love Tharion, yes he'd definitely dumb and needs to make better decisions but I liked how witty he was in the first book. He really needs to stop with the whole woe is me act tho. omg the antidotes shit don't even get me started. half of the stuff that she wrote for the book didn't even matter in the end. like, we could've cut this damn book down 300 pages tbh, nothing would've been missed because nothing made sense even.

I don’t hate Bryce. She did annoy me though. I hated when Aelin wouldn’t tell people about her plans and could not stand it from Bryce here. Her yelling at Hunt about having to face the consequences of their actions. I’m like dude you went to another world and came back powered up. Hunt stayed and was tortured brutally like what? I know why she doesn’t want him to have guilt about it but it’s his 3rd time going through this and failing. And now he has more to lose. Of course he would be feeling a type of way.

I do not like her at all lol. The whole not telling people plans things pissed me off because her loud mouth is not like that. AND THEN SHE HAS THE AUDACITY TO TELL HUNT "OH YOU DONT EVEN WANT TO BE HERE" girl maybe if you told someone the fuckin plan they would feel a bit more confident about going through with it for fucks sake. she's a mean girl and i can't stand her and i don't think she's funny at all she is so cringe to me haha. HUNT HAS ALREADY TRIED GOING AGAINST THE ASTERI AND HE WAS TORTURED FOR 200 YEARS?! Then he gets freed and has to do it all over again?! Like, why are we yelling at this man? of course he's weary.

I’m not the biggest fan of her swagger at times. Like sometimes we don’t need the quippy (read: unfunny) one liners :/

LITERALLY

The STAKES???? Bryce should’ve stayed dead! It would have been a lot more impactful. Even the torturing scenes kind of didn’t hit as much after the fact cause everyone can just regrow their limbs and be fine. No one had a single nightmare about what happened to them? I thought we would see something like that beyond “a glimmer of darkness in his eyes” idk :/

The entire "someone dying only to be brought to life on the next page" has definitely fucking worn off now but sjm apparently can't see that. she created a world with 50+ characters only to not use half of them when it matters. so stupid. Also, i don't remember them being able to regrow limbs tbh.

Maybe the book would’ve been too long but I was genuinely shocked we didn’t get more scenes of anyone on the actual battlefield. We were mostly in the palace after Bryce and Hunt teleported, and then the moment with Lidia and the sprites. But maybe the book would’ve been too toooo long idk.

Yeah there really was only like 60 pages of the end scene. but as soon as i saw the word space i actually almost DNFd it because what the actual fuck was that.

I will say I really like how the male friendships are genuine. I honestly can’t tell you that Bryce, Fury, and June are friends LMAO. (I’m exaggerating but I do kinda agree with this) .

Yeah, i love Ruhn, dec, and flynn's relationship. i think sjm tries to be like "oh yeah girl power, strong fmc's" but there's no women in the books? and they all don't like each other? like danika, bryce, fury, and juniper seemed like mean girls? girls that didn't give a fuck about anyone else? idk. the way that the men to women ratio in her books is very interesting to me. and the fack that EVERY man that comes across bryce thinks she's the most gorgeous girl to have ever lived...fuck off with that logic.

My girl Jesiba :////// She was my favorite for sure. I'm indifferent about her lol. Her entire storyline i feel was just made up like two months ago so she could connect to the other series lol

I do agree with what you said about Bryce (I legit almost wrote Aelin LMFAO) . I was not expecting her to just say no rulers for the Fae at all. But I guess a Senate would be more democratic.

SO STUPID. The Senate (starwars)

Im sure there will be a fourth book but I am so uninterested in Tharion and Ariadne like who caresssssssss. If Im interested in Ithan, it’s because I want to see more Perry. I wonder how connected this world and ACOTAR will remain.

I honestly hope it ends at 4 books. I think that would be a perfect ending because there's four houses. no need for more im already sick of it. yeah i liked perry too. i hope they're no longer connected lol.

Ruhn and Lidia :) but HE LEGIT SHOT HER?? I know she was acting irrationally because of her sons and he wanted to make sure she didn’t get herself killed but then he shot her. Like okay 😭. I think my favorite couples are Bryce’s parents and Lidia and Ruhn. Ruhn just seems so hot 😭.

Ruhn is a winner for sure for sure.

I’m writing too much and I’m scared this app will just shut down so I’ll quit here. I still think the first book is the worst one in this series. But I had fun with this one (despite my hang ups) and I’m glad it’s over (for now :/).

THANKS FOR LETTING ME RANT!!!

THANKS FOR LETTING ME RANT TOO!

CC anon!! I went to goodreads to read reviews of the book and I genuinely cannot believe how many 5 star ratings this book got. I mean, I can and can’t believe it. Atp anything Sarah puts out will average at least a 4 star rating on there and sell a crap ton.

I think people just give her that rating because she's popular, not because they read lol. oh yeah, why do you think she released 5 different bonus chapters. talk about a greedy cash grab. that mentality kinda makes me sick im not even going to lie.

I was reading through the 2-star reviews and someone mentioned their shock at how quickly Ruhn and Lidia resolved their issues which I totally agree with. She said she hated him and would never forgive him for what he did, and she was right! I know why Ruhn did it, but I genuinely still cannot believe he actually shot her, even if she was gonna be okay. That’s a terrible time to be worrying about a wound like that when you want to be at full strength to fight for your children.

Yeah half of the plot lines felt stupid? like what? he couldn't have stopped her any other way...really? i feel like she did not think this book through as well as she thought she did tbh. seems to be her thing these days.

(Even when Hunt said he hated Bryce for stopping him from killing Celestina, I was like Oh!)

OMG THAT WAS ACTUALLY WILD. YEAH OKAY. I TOTALLY BELIEVE THEY'RE MATES.

The reviewer said Sarah should have left their relationship on the rocks so we could get Ruhn groveling in the fourth book, and I can’t get that idea out of my head. ESPECIALLY with their bonus scene. Idk if you’ve read it but I was like ??? I like them as a couple and I like their story, but it did seem like it was all patched up insanely quickly. Like if you shot me then the very LEAST you could do is get my kids to safety. That alone would not necessarily make me forgive you.

I didn't read their bonus chapter but i can't believe they moved in with each other literally after like two days of knowing each other in real life. bro, you just found out she has two kids? you don't know the woman at all lol. no, everyone has to have a happy ending by the last page of the book or else. lol. no suspense.

[shigerussato]

hi, wrote a angsty shigesato engagement writing piece ! reads are appreciated havent written in a while lol, excuse any spelling/general mistakes. enjoy !! 🤍🤍

At the sounds of drawers opening and closing, Gary slowly approached the sounds and cracked opened the door to see Ash looking through drawers in desperation 

“something wrong?”  

Ash said nothing going to another drawer, throwing the clothes in it behind him, 

“I can’t find my half” he finally said, Gary knowing where it went swallowed a lump in his throat and cleared his throat not trying to sound suspicious about it 

“your half?” he laughed nervously questioning, hearing his uncared for tone, Ash turned to him with a scowl 

“Gary I’m not in the mood to joke around. YOU know what I’m referring to. You’re LITERALLY wearing your half right now” he said referring to Gary’s necklace with the half pokeball on it before he continued throwing clothes around making his partner sigh and pick up after him 

“Ash you’re gonna put all this back where it belongs after you’re done” he lectured

“I will” 

“I can’t find it” Ash said with a look of despair written all over his face “it’s okay don’t worry about it, it’s not like that thing was that important anyway” Gary smiled trying to lighten up his mood but made the wrong move with his words and realized it when seeing the offended look on Ash’s face

“what did you just say?” 

Gary shallowed and sighed “I just mean it’s fine if you don’t find it. It’s no big deal” the researcher smiled about to touch his partner’s cheek until seeing him step back a little

“you’re kidding right?? Don’t try weaseling out of this, you know how much that half means to me and how much it represents US. how can you just call it a ‘thing’ without even caring??” he basically yelled out, then seeing Gary scratch his head and shrug 

“I DIDNT mean it like that I wanted to say it differently but obviously I used the wrong words” 

“yeah you did. What’s with you lately?? You’ve been acting weird” Ash pressed crossing his arms demandingly 

“weird?” Gary snorted still scratching his head about to speak with another nervous laugh before Ash quickly interrupted him

“don’t even answer that actually, I’m really NOT in the mood to argue with you right now” Ash said about to walk out of the room, “Ash don’t forget to pick up your mess” Gary pointed at the thrown clothes 

“yes mother” he gave him a sarcastic smile before leaving making Gary sigh from guilt 

Coming out of the shower Ash dried up his hair and went down the stairs to see the researcher putting a coat on obviously ready to go somewhere. 

Seeing such made Ash stop and blink at the sight “where are you going?” Ash wondered calmed down from his anger he gave his partner a smile “I’m going to the lab” Gary smiled adjusting his coat 

“oh cool! Let me just throw on a shirt and��“ he started making his way up the stairs before Gary objected 

“I want to go alone actually . . if you don’t mind”  

“oh . . . okay” Ash said playing with the shower towel in hand “dinner is ready on the stove just microwave it if it’s cold other than that don’t touch the stove” Gary lectured at him who obediently nodded “take–“ before Ash could finish Gary had closed the door on him 

“good care . . . “ Ash said the last part under his breath

“he’s acting so weird” Ash mumbled talking to Pikachu who sat next to him at the dinner table, twirling the fork into the spaghetti Ash sighed “but I don’t understand why he’s acting like this. I got the ring and everything for him, he’s just acting so careless, and selfish this morning he said that the half pokeball wasn’t important” Ash scrunched up his nose and set the fork down “maybe he wants another break? I don’t know” Ash sighed putting hands over his face then feeling fur touching his hand 

“it’ll be fine” he breathed out knowing it was Pikachu comforting him 

“guess I’m exaggerating if he wanted to leave he would’ve token Bre with him” he said looking over at the Moonlight Pokemon who was staring right at him 

“you better not tell him anything” Ash said pointing the fork at his partner’s pokemon who rolled it’s eyes and left outside 

Ash glared at it and put a forkful of spaghetti in his mouth before his eyes widened at the great taste  

“man this guy knows how to cook!” Ash commented enjoying the pasta made by his current boyfriend

“Pikachu stop that” Ash muttered in his sleep feeling a something tracing the bridge of his nose “it’s not Pikachu” a snarky laugh lit up his ears making Ash open his eyes to see Gary with a wide grin lying next to him “I thought you were at the lab . . . ?” Ash pondered rolling onto his side to face Gary 

“I WAS. but I came home to give you something” Gary smiled touching Ash’s chin with his fingers for a moment “close your eyes” he said getting a laugh from his partner

“Gary we’re not 15 anymore” 

“so?” the researcher laughed, seeing his boyfriend close his eyes without further explanation 

“alright open them” Gary said, Ash’s eyes opened and saw tickets to Johto

“Johto?” Ash laughed “it’s been a while since we’ve been there” Ash said scratching his head not knowing exactly why Gary wanted to take them to Johto  

“yeah huh, been a while just thought we should get away for bit and hopefully you’ll understand why I’ve been acting the way I have been” Gary shrugged Ash who looked deeply into his eyes just nodded “is it good or bad?” 

“it’s good in my opinion but it’s something you have to decide as well” Gary shrugged getting out of bed “I’ll see you downstairs” Gary smiled leaving the bed, leaving Ash in slight confusion 

When in Johto the two had any other vacation full of sightseeing and a lot of food to try 

“Mm! God I forgot how good the food was here!” Ash said stuffing his face, Gary laughed at the sight and wiped his lip 

“eat slow okay, I wouldn’t want you to choke” he smiled lightly before hearing Ash making choking sounds making him snap his head up 

“Ash are you okay?!? Breath” he said getting up to help him until Ash laughed 

“your face was priceless!” he laughed his childishly laugh causing Gary to scowl 

“you’re such a kid you know that??? Don’t do that again!” Gary yelled at him, hitting his chest and turning away from Ash

“I was just joking!” Ash said trying to hold in his laugh “well it wasn’t fucking funny!” Gary yelled Ash sighed and got up hugging Gary from behind “okay okay I fucked up. I’m sorry babe” Ash said getting his hand and kissing it lightly

“you do this every time I tell you to be careful it’s like it’s some kind of joke to you” Gary said still frustrated “it won’t happen again I promise babe, let’s finish dinner now okay?” Ash said turning Gary to him who gave Ash a look of disappointment, Ash who’s saw held Gary close to him and gave him puppy eyes

“come on please don’t be mad at me, this is the last time it happens I promise” Ash said causing Gary to soften up a bit “fine, it better be that way” Gary said getting a nod from his boyfriend

“gee, it’s been forever since I last saw this lake” Ash laughed as the two sat by the lake just like they once side by side that one night night of the silver conference 

“I know huh been a while, we were just kids back then” Gary laughed at the memory with a fond smile. Ash turned to him and smiled back putting his head on his shoulder 

“yeah, I remember it as if it were yesterday. Blastoise getting his ass beat by Charizard” Ash joked getting a glare from his rival to lover “I demand a rematch” he muttered playfully fixing his hair getting a laugh from Ash as the two continued enjoying the view of the lake 

“full moon tonight” Gary commented looking up at sky, Ash looked up at him and smiled “yeah” he said just staring at his boyfriend and not the moon

Gary then turned to Ash and at the same time the two said “just like that night” the two then laughed lightly 

“your memory is just remarkable huh” Gary said cuddling Ash a bit “guess so” he smiled with a shrug 

“the same lake you gave me your half” Ash smiled grabbed the half pokeball and touching it lightly, Gary smiled and nodded 

“I wish I had mine right now” Ash then frowned, Gary bit his lip and said nothing 

Ash looked at the lake and then turned gary getting out of his arm brace “so you said this trip would answer why you were so weird back at home, so what’s up?” Ash said then seeing Gary get up and offering him a hand to get up, which he accepted 

“I was just thinking a lot about us you know, we’ve been together for a while now so I just wanted to take another step from that” Gary said “do you mean you want to take another break?” Ash lifted an eyebrow “no, no, not at all” Gary shook his head 

“I just mean I want to take another step towards our future together. There’s not gonna be one single time I can ever tell you everything about how much you mean to me but you do mean a lot to me, I care so much about you and admire you so much. You’ve came a long way from the kid saying he was gonna become a pokemon master” Gary smiled cupping Ash’s cheeks lightly making Ash smiled grabbing his hand kissing it lightly with a gentle caress 

“I’m sorry for how I was acting back at home I’m just nervous” Gary laughed “but why?” Ash said softly laughing himself, feeling Gary’s warm touch leave his face and saw him get something from his pocket

“because I’ve been meaning to ask you . . . “ he started and got on one knee, clearing his throat before speaking

“Ash Ketchum will you marry me?” Gary smiled genuinely revealing the ring to Ash who’s mind went straight to noticing that the ring had his half pokeball sitting on it like a diamond 

“my half . . . “ he thought out loud to Gary who waited for his answer, smiling nervously before feeling a bunch of weight come onto him tackling him to the ground 

“is that a yes?” the researcher laughed getting a nod from Ash who lifted himself up and nodded 

“yes! Absolutely I’ll marry you!” Ash nodded with his small childish laugh of always causing Gary to grin and slip the ring onto his now fiancé’s finger

Ash then looked at Gary smacking him, and laughed “fuck you” Gary frowned and lifted an eyebrow “what was that for?” he muttered “you’re terrible at proposing” Ash laughed 

“not to mention you’re terrible at surprises” 

“I’m sorry” Gary laughed

“to be honest, you beat me to it” Ash admitted scratching his head, then cutely rubbing the bottom of his nose with a grin “what do you mean?” Gary grinned back while the two stood by each other looking at the lake 

“well, maybe it’s my turn . . . “ Ash began and took out a velvet jewelry box out of his pocket himself “I’m not good with my words either but you should know that I have always admired you and cared about you and always will continue to do so . . . “ he said looking at the box leaving small confusion on Gary’s expression Ash then fiddled around with his cap for a second before continuing, keeping his gaze on the ground 

getting on one knee, Ash cleared his throat “I was just gonna ask you, if you’d marry me . . . “ Ash helplessly grinned getting a laugh from Gary who smacked him lightly “you’re such a loser” Gary muttered to himself with a laugh “you already know my answer! Of course!” he clarified with another laugh having Ash get up and slip the ring onto his own finger 

“not bad Ketchum” Gary grinned seeing the shiny ring with tiny diamonds around it and sunk Ash’s cap down to his eyes “hey! Don’t tease me, I did my best . . . You’re lowkey complicated” he sorta whined getting a head shake from Gary “sure I am” 

“but I want it to be better . . . I want you to get your half pokeball on it” Ash smiled grabbing Gary’s hand and touching the ring lightly 

“yeah I will” 

“took you long” Gary teased, getting an arm cross from Ash “I TOOK LONG? I was waiting on you” Ash scoffed, Gary mocked Ash’s scoff “I was waiting on you” the two then laughed again 

“okay okay we took long, but I was just nervous on your thoughts not only because you kept giving me the impression of wanting a break again but also we’ve never discuss marriage. I just thought you maybe didn’t believe in it or even planned on marrying me” Ash shrugged “Ash you know I don’t like taking breaks. We did it a lot when we were on our own journeys. When I was busy with my projects in research and you with your continuous challenges for your master title, and we’d take breaks to focus on that but I always realized that I always needed you and you never distracted me a bit from what my goal was” 

“you were the only one who always inspired me to strive for the best” 

Very touched by his words Ash smiled and put a hand on Gary’s cheek 

“I feel the same exact way . . . You’ve been the own to always support me whenever I felt like I had no one else. And you’ve motivated me to keep on, keepin’ on” Ash grinned lovingly 

With that, Ash leaned up to Gary which made Gary flip Ash’s cap backwards and kissed him softly, before the two pulled back and smiled just holding each other for a couple of seconds 

“we don’t say this so often, but I love you”

“and I love you too” 

[lets-talk-spirituality]

https://at.tumblr.com/lets-talk-spirituality/703755184537567232/rfw9at8itdad /// I agree with everything, you're right and it's okay for you to act this way!

curiously I see a lot of myself on you, i'm a teenager, i grew up in an abusive household, and I have a poor communication with my parents (they’re divorced) it's a loooong story but summing up i developed many issues and attracted toxic friendships, i'm trying my best to heal and i know how you feel when people twist your words and put pressure on you, i know because I go through this since childhood (reason why i have only two friends lol. I don't consider friend friendship without depth. To protect my energy and mental health). I'm too caring toward others and I dont want to disappoint anyone. My life is boring but at least my heart is in peace. I have emotional blockage and use this as a way to avoid becoming codependent with an abusive person, i fear i would love unconditionally anyone who gives me the love i didnt received and wished so badly my entire life. I don't like having to be strong all the time, sometimes I feel exhausted i wish i could rely on someone.

Is easy to gaslight and manipulate me (i'm not even tell a story that happened to me with a narcisist during 2021😂 now i'm laughing but at that time i wanted to yell) after i realized this, i started to develop some defense and i never open up about me to others and only share what i don't mind people knowing. I don't trust my own self and need validation but finally i'm working on it and developing confidence. Consequently these wounds - plus many issues and anxiety - made me highly empathetic and intuitive (unfortunately not on a psychic level), I would never do to other people what was done to me. We don't have to become the monster that destroyed us.

I appreciate that you haven't given up on this blog even with all the trigger and annoying people, I wouldn't handle it, honestly, i'm glad you share knowledge and don't let negativity get in your way, the process of healing from trauma is very complicated. Wishing you the best! 🌱💕

sorry for bad english

Omg. Hi! Welcome to the tribe. So glad you found the blog and me because yes. We have very similar experiences and probably relate and can understand each other very deeply. If anything I hope it makes you feel less alone and gives you hope that things can always grow and strengthen. Reading your ask made me tear up a bit, because thank you for validating me and my experience and my reactions and for truly understanding what I said. I also feel like maybe we are connecting for the reason of feeling community and that’s so nice. Thank you for sharing so much of yourself with me.

I’m adding you to the psychic bestie circle, because I was literally on the phone with my mom (also a long story, because who likes ‘em short?) about how I view loyalty and how seriously I take that and why it makes it hard for me to make friends and feel like I belong. I think trauma does this thing where you can’t take relationships lightly because so many of core your relationships are fractured and it doesn’t feel safe to have friends or other people around you can’t fully trust. It can be hard to engage with people who are more light and casual at times because it’s like they don’t really understand what it’s like. I struggle to connect a lot because I feel people don’t understand the depth of what experiences like this mean and how they shape us.

And you nailed it. I did that with my exes. I’m a lot more healed now because I rarely feel things (blessing and a curse, amiright?) for people, but part of me is so terrified to meet a healthy partner because I know so much of this will come up. Being love starved makes you primed for codependency. There’s this thing I wrote once:

“You’re going to hurt me.”

“No. I’m going to love you, and sometimes they feel the same.”

If you’ve only ever known love that hurts, healthy love hurts too, because it almost exacerbates how badly you were treated by offering a comparison. I can’t find a way to expand this feeling through words, so I hope you get what I’m saying.

And yes again! I literally wrote after talking to my mom not an hour ago “why do I always have to be the adult” I’m always the glue holding shit together, the one no one ever worries about because I always handle it. My sister is dealing finally with her trauma from all this and my mom is all I wanna be there for her and wanted to talk to me about what happened growing up honestly. And it’s like why couldn’t you offer me that when I was suicidal for the past two years (2020/2021) but you can give that to my sister (who deserves that obvi, but like I do too).

That’s the shit that kills me sometimes and I know it’s playing victim but sometimes it’s really like just because I’m smart and strong and wise and capable of holding it all together, doesn’t mean you can just neglect me. Doesn’t mean I should have to hold it all together all the time. That’s kinda what I mean about people negating my hard work. Like people I’ve encountered, generally speaking, seem to not understand my struggle because in a way I make it look bearable or something. I’m only like that because I had to bear it. There was no option. Whether I make it look easy or not, doesn’t mean it is. I could only ever rely on myself— ultimately things I’m grateful for, I’m sure you get this push and pull too between appreciating what you went through and how it grew you and also resenting it deeply because you’d rather be well adjusted.

Idk why today all my trauma is stirring around. Maybe because of therapy yesterday but it’s like all day I’ve had this energy going around. Anyway, sweet nonnie. I can tell you have an amazing and loving soul and I feel so much power from you, it’s quiet but formidable. If you ever want to chat in the DMs. I’m here for you! And your English was fucking perfect and I’m impressed AF because I can only speak English and un poquito de Espanol. Sending so much love and healing and just general joy to you! 💫⭐️☀️ Never let the dirt dim your shine. You’re golden baby and you only grow more rare with time. Mwah 💋

[half-shadowgalra]

@seagull9111 (because it’s Will Solace angst, I couldn’t forget about you and Will Solace :)

@that--one-person @hungrypartypenguin (and you two commented, I hope you enjoy, but I do want you that it’s get BAD :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Hey! This is me AFTER I wrote the entire headcannon/dare I say ONESHOT cause… this thing got LONG! Like took me a CONCERNINGLY LONG AMOUNT OF TIME to write the whole thing so… yeah, that’s just a heads up! I’ll put a TLDR in a re-post or something. ALSO I’m not a writer so there WILL be grammar mistakes okay, so DONT YELL AT ME! Pweas. Oki, bye!)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ok, here goes nothing, I’m gonna start on the soft end of the hc

I like to think that Will Solace, before he touches anyone, always asks, verbally, if the person is okay with it

before he hugs his siblings, he asks if he can

before he rests his head on Nico’s shoulder, or holds his boyfriends hand, or kisses Neek’s forehead, he asks if Nico is okay with it

with this I also headcannon that the whole…

Nico is upset that Jason died, rightfully, and will just kisses him

doesn’t happen.

Will would wait until Nico is ready, he would ask if Nico WANTS it because…

Will has been in a position, far too many times, where he DIDNT want it, but his ex didn't care

TW for beyond this point : grooming, SA

My headcannon is that :

Will first came to camp, young and impressionable. He came to camp and, being one of the youngest kids there, he had to make friends with some of the older campers.

they were great! Travis and Conner were fun and took care of him before he got claimed

Lee was one of the best older brothers he could have asked for when he did (get claimed)

Selena helped him with his hair, skin care, and nails

Clarisse, though she was hard on him at times, always backed him up during capture the flag, and prevented other campers from picking on him, for the most part

And the other older campers were much of the same, always looking out for him, making him feel cared for, respected, interesting, and loved, one older camper in particular did the above very well

he would always listen to Will when he needed to rant about one of his hyper fixations, or when Will needed to rant about life

he would always engage in the conversation, and often try to watch the show or read the book Will was ranting about

he would always be there if Will needed a hug or needed a shoulder to cry on

especially after Lee died

Will needed someone there for him, and he was there

he was there to hold Will as he cried, ran his fingers through Wills hair to calm him down, he always seemed to know what he needed, and always gave it.

one day Will and him went on a hike

without Chiron’s permission but he planned the entire thing, they would be back before anyone realized they were gone. Will loved hiking, he knew that very well, so when they were looking down upon the beautiful valley, ocean, and horizon, he told Will he loved him.

he told Will how he always made him feel heard, how he always made him feel happy, made him feel worth it. He told Will that he was amazing and that he himself had never felt this way about anyone before

Will said he liked him to,

looking back, he can’t tell if he really did or not. He felt the emotion, but in hindsight, he was love bombed.

but that’s when they would start dating

in secret of corse, and Will didn't mind, his ex just needed to feel more comfortable in his sexuality, that was it, he was just scared that they would be judged by their friends, and he didn’t want Will to be bullied, or worse, hate Crimed.

Thats why, whenever Will’s ex had a girlfriend, it wasn’t him cheating, it was him covering up his sexuality, so Will wouldn’t get hurt.

they would continue to sneak around, pretty soon after Will would have his first kiss.

and after the first one… Will couldn’t say no. Literally.

at first he wanted it, Will felt loved and cared for.

and part of the fun was them being a secret.

trying to to get caught while they make out in the woods, or in the infirmaries’s closet, those were the main two spots anyway. And there was always the quick rush with making out in the restroom, sure the location isn’t the best, but the slight fear of someone potentially walking in on them was a rush.

whenever he wanted to make out, they would.

whenever he wanted to hold hands, they would.

whenever he wanted to touch Will, he would.

they almost got caught a few times. Something which he seemed to have a LOT of anxiety about.

that should have been a red flag

Will should have seen SO many red flags

but when you trust that someone is a good person, you don’t recognize when things are a little off, and if you DO recognize it then it’s easily dismissed, because you trust them, they would never PURPOSEFULLY try to make you uncomfortable, he would never have you do something that isn’t necessary, that isn’t right, that ISNT good.

then the battle of Manhattan happened.

and Michal died, MOST of Will’s siblings died.

but he couldn’t mourn, not right then, he had people to save, people to heal, and forces were stretched thin so he wasn’t their to comfort him, or kiss him, when he wanted.

Will had to put on a smile and act like everything is fine, he had to be strong for the others. And he was only 13

he was stressed out and working, he just wanted to power through and get this over with, so he could be just be alone, so he could cry.

he didn’t want that though.

He Tired to make Will feel better, tried to talk him him out of over working himself, and into the closet.

Will just wanted to be alone, but he wouldn’t have that.

he kissed him.

Will tried to struggle, to push him off but…

he couldn’t do much without exposing their relationship, and that would mean outing him and exposing them to scrutiny.

so Will stayed quiet, and blamed himself.

Will began trying to get out of seeing him after that. Which he felt guilty for. He started working more, started playing volleyball, started doing anything but running into him, and he felt bad for it.

he was stupid to not enjoy it, to not want it. It was his boyfriend, he was just trying to help after all.

their dates got less and less frequent, as their make out sessions go more and more common.

a few times Will tried to talk him out of it, but he would ask Will if he didn’t love him anymore, he would ask him if he didn’t want him anymore, if he really meant that little to Will, if Will was really that immature and cruel to just cut him off like that.

Will didnt! He wasn’t? He still loved him, right? He still meant so much to him. And Will wasn’t that immature, right? he wasn’t cruel, was he?

so Will stayed, he shut up, stayed still, stayed complacent, and stayed quiet. He cared about him. So why did Will feel so bad, why did he feel so lost, so empty…

about a year past and Will had turned fourteen a few months ago.

he looked on the bright side of things, he had two AMAZING younger siblings, they haven’t had to fight in any war for a while, and he had great friends. Sure sometimes the infirmary would be packed and he would stay up for 60 hours straight just to make sure everyone was okay, and it DOES seem as if a new world-ending prophecy, the prophecy of the seven could come to pass with in a year, but things were going good now.

he was fine.

he was okay.

so why did he still feel so empty…

…

sometimes he would lie awake at night…

just…

feeling guilty.

guilty for the lives lost, for the ones he killed, un able to save.

guilty for not saying goodbye to some of his siblings.

and guilty…

guilty for not wanting his own BOYFRIEND’S AFFECTION sometimes.

Why didn’t he want it,

WHY COULDN'T HE SAY NO!

and why did he feel guilty…

a few months after he took him on a date, it was a hike deep into the woods.

they were in the woods all this time, in hindsight Will wonders how their weren’t any nymphs that thought it was suspicious what they were doing and how no one thought to tell Chiron. Maybe their activity wasn’t that suspicious, maybe this was normal. Though a thought like that, of what happened to Will being normal, is more sickening than what actually occurred.

They were deep into the wilderness, and there was so much beauty. Deep enough, to a place, where no one could hear one plead and cry for help.

when they stoped in a meadow, Will was pushed against a tree as they made out. Will tried to get into it, but after holding back tears he started to feel his mind drifting, elsewhere, somewhere where this, wasn’t happening. This wasn’t real.

Will doesn’t know how long it was, he only knows that they eventually stoped.

it took him a minute to come back to his consciousness, by then he realized that someone was talking to him.

he asked him a question. Then Will felt a sting of pain on the right side of his face, that helped him come back to, what he thinks was real.

he asked him the question again.

it was still muffled.

he looked annoyed, then spoke again.

the question he asked Will was stunned by, it didn’t fully proses.

he said it was because he loved Will, and because he was turning 18 in two weeks.

Will’s head started spinning, he felt as if he was gonna throw up.

he wasn’t ready to have sex…

he said he respected that decision, then he urged them to sit down and eat the meal they had packed.

Will’s memory was fuzzy, after that…

he doesn’t really remember anything else from that day…

He just remembered waking up in his bed the next morning, feeling dizzy with a headache, and… other aches.

he tried to ask him about it. With a pit in his stomach.

He said everything was normal, that they just walked back, after words, and that Will said he was tired and he went to bed.

Will wanted to believe what he was saying.

because any alternative, was far worse.

Will felt dizzy, but kept his footing.

Will didn’t remember the next couple weeks very clearly, other than his ex borderline begging for them to… hook up.

None of it felt real, Will would look at his hands and…they wouldn’t look like his. He would look around and everything, and everyone, would feel so far away… even if, what ever it was, was right in front of him. He felt dizzy a nauseated half the time, he never told anyone though, that would be dumb. Just none of it felt… real. He felt as if he could scream, and yell, or even grab a scalpel and cut some ones face up and… no one would care… no one would even glance over because… none of it was REAL.

the symptoms carried on from march, to late may.

he didn’t know what was going on, and he didn’t care enough about himself to look up anything.

things did start to mellow out after a while, but he would still catch himself dissociating every few days, even going into June.

when summer picked up he started feeling more grounded.

playing volleyball, he felt the sting of the ball hitting his arms over and over again, he felt the shifting sand under his toes, and the sun on his face again.

he felt himself smile, the first time after a while.

he started focusing on every breath he would take, every breeze he would feel, and every laugh he heard.

he took any chance to remind himself that he was real, and that he was alive, and to which that, was a good thing.

another war happened.

the prophecy of the 7 came true, camp Jupiter and camp half blood almost went to war, and Will, formally, met Nico di Angelo.

Will had noticed Nico after the battle of manhattan, and during it. He was an amazing fighter, and seemed pretty hot- AND nice! Heh heh… :I

when they met and worked together to slow down the Roman’s, Lou Ellen and Cecil might have been making fun of Will a bit, after all they had heard him rant about Nico being pretty before. But that didn’t matter now.

after the battle Will got caught up in the infirmary for a while. Healing takes time after all. But as soon as he could he hunted Nico down so he could force him to spend three days in the infirmary, doctors orders.

it wasn’t Wills fault he was in a position of authority and wanted to get to know a boy better.

at first it was a bit rough, Nico tended to be a bit stubborn at times, but Will had the patience. He wanted to get to know Nico, and through time, he would get his way, hopefully.

they talked, talked for hours. When you don’t really want to be anywhere else, time can often get away from you. But Will didn’t mind, he enjoyed talking about his interests, and even if Nico didn’t stare him down while he talked, he knew he was listening, attentively. And Will listened back, when Nico talked about his travels, or mythomagic, or, eventualy, when he opened up about some of his pain, Will listened to all of it.

He bided his time in the infirmary, almost fearing stepping out of it. like some, monster, will attack him if he leaves.

Even after the three days in the infirmary, Nico still dropped by most days, to hang out and just, talk.

he started opening up about his experience with Tartarus, and the jar, and the argo II after that. he started describing his experience after, how he felt his body wasn't his, how he felt too nauseated to eat most days, how he felt he could get in-front of everyone and just scream, and yell, and break everything, and how he felt like he knew, no one would react. how he felt like nothing was real.

Nico asked Will if he was okay after that.

Something clattered to the ground as Will leaned against the counter top.

he reassured Nico that he was fine and just needed a breather.

Will would look up the symptoms Nico described, ONLY thinking about Nico’s symptoms.

derealization : a mental state where you feel detached from your surroundings. People and objects around you may seem unreal. Even so, you’re aware that this altered state isn’t normal. Causes you to feel disconnected from the world around you.

depersonalization : causes you to feel disconnected from your own body, thoughts, and feelings. It’s like you’re watching what’s happening to yourself as an outsider.

well that wasn’t a gut punch /s

Will and Nico would hang out and talk constantly after that, whether at the infirmary or the hades cabin or somewhere else around camp.

Nico felt like a shield to Will, a shield to protect Will from him.

obviously Nico being a shield to prevent Will from talking to his own boyfriend, wasn’t the only reason they hung out. Nico was also kind, believe it or not, under all that angst, was a pretty sweet and loving guy. He was comforting too, in a way. He made Will feel more valued than he ever had before. He made him feel giddy, just being around Neeks, and Will could already tell he was acting WAY dumber around Nico than he does with anyone else.

he even pointed it out once, saying Will was dumb, then giggling like a little kid.

Will then responded by telling him that he could be that.

Then Will quickly made a mental note to decide on whether he would THANK his mom for forcing him to watch romcoms with her or KILL his mom for forcing him to watch romcoms with her.

Will honestly loved hanging out with Nico, which was something he unfortunately saw.

Will was on a walk through the woods, finally feeling comfortable by himself for once, when he felt someone grab his wrist.

The next few minutes were a blur of Will trying to gain his bearings on what the fuck is happening.

He was forced to the ground, and was forced into a kiss.

Will knew who it was.

he started to disassociate.

he considered just letting this happen.

the bruises that go away in minutes on his skin

The grinding of his crotch

the unzipping of his pants

Will grabbed his head, kissing him, as he thinks of a way to get out of this.

Everything began to slow as Will feared he was dissociating again.

he opened his eyes too purple, glowing, smoke, and his vitiligo glowing, a faint green glow.

he fell over. Blacked out.

Will immediately pushed him away, got up, and bolted.

everything was a bit misty and muffled after that.

he could remember lines of hot tears pouring down his cheeks as he sprinted, anywhere, ANYWHERE but THERE.

anywhere… but him.

(Jesus fucking CHRIST this got away from me, HA!)

I have a trauma head cannon for Will

but it’s kinda out of pocket

not even in the sense of “trauma because siblings died”

like obviously I believe he has trauma from all of his siblings dying

but I also have another trauma head cannon for him, and like…

i dont even really know why or how my brain decided “yes, this is the trauma that he would have”

because it’s not influenced by the cannon AT ALL

and I want to make that VERY CLEAR

but because of that, I’m not sure if I want to share it

:/

so if anyone wants to hear about my dark head cannon trauma for Will Solace that is NOT INFLUENCED BY THE TEXT WHAT SO EVER/srs

I guess interact with this? Idk

or just ignore me

I’m brain dead

[angsty-omi]

bokuto body shaming you

kotaro bokuto x reader

angst, fluff! happy ending, drabble

before you continue to read, please be aware of the following:

tw: eating disorder, eating, food, fatphobia, insecurity, bullying, and uh using the bathroom. LOL. i wrote this at 2 am because i couldn’t sleep. bear with me.

japan’s (and most of asia’s) beauty standards consists of a girl being size 00. obviously it is highly unfair and fatphobic. however, asian girls grow up to these same standards. therefore, when y/n is hurt over the fact that they called her fat, she gets offended. this is fiction and please remember your body is beautiful no matter what size!

now that you have read the precautions, enjoy!

today was super stressful, you missed breakfast because of work, clients took up your lunch time by feuding with their now divorced husbands, and you obviously couldn’t eat in the courtroom. you controlled the rumbles of you stomach and couldn’t wait to unlock your burgundy door. as you got home from work, bokuto was already on the couch.

“hey babe” he nonchalantly said.

“hi bubby”

as you walked over to the fridge, it was empty. you cried in agony.

“oooooh sorry i ate all of the leftovers”

your current state, was hangry. it was a clash of words to represent your current emotion. you snuck two middle fingers behind his head.

“i saw that,” he said while still looking at his game footage.

not having food in your system for longer than a day really upset you. so much so, you busted in tears out of frustration.

“literally all the places are closed at this hour, when i get home all i wanted was to ingest something, but you ate it all!” you sobbed.

“y/n, you’re blowing this out of proportion,”

“but i’m not! work has been so hard on me that i didn’t even have the opportunity to eat.”

“surely you had some sort of break, are you sure you’re not starving yourself again?” he laughed to himself.

your face was in shock.

in high school, you had an eating disorder. you hated the way you looked compared to the thin girls in your class. do you know how hard it is to be a size 4 in japan? thus, led to many insecurities being built up. while not eating, you also exercised quite frequently. and with no nutrients in you, your stomach salvaged itself. soon enough, you were on your road to being a size 2. however, one day you pushed yourself really hard. the girls in class A were talking about your rolls when you sit down. just the thought of that morning made you run faster. until you started to get light headed and pass out.

as you woke up, you were on a bench with a really attractive man at the end of it. you realized that your legs were on top of his lap. quickly, you sat upright, only to feel dizzy again.

“here take this,” the handsome man offered water.

you downed the whole thing, with water dripping out of your mouth. you then took your sleeve and wiped your mouth. for a good five seconds you were calm... until you realized how unladylike you were being. you looked over at the man and he was laughing. like, full on laughing.

“what’s so funny?”

“n-nothing it’s j-just the girls around here do the opposite of what you just did,” he barely spoke, not being able to contain his laughter.

“fine then i guess it’s time to tell you that i’m a dude”

the mans face went straight.

“god, i’m obviously kidding... what’s your name?”

“bokuto, yours?”

“y/n”

you both shook hands.

“now tell me y/n, as an athlete i know the main reasons of someone passing out like that.”

“are you anemic?” he asked.

you shook your head. then his face softened. oh, maybe he is smart.

out of nowhere, you started to tear up.

“are you okay?”

why do people ask that? when they ask that i cry even more.

he was a stranger, so you might aswell vent to him.

“it’s just been so hard keeping up with this body. you know how many times i just wanted to eat? like a fuck ton of food? but i literally couldn’t. i was hungry, yet when i looked at a fry it reminded me of my bullies. it fucking sucks.” you finally sobbed out. you were holding it in for so long, if felt kind of free to let it out. you looked over at bokuto, and he just listened intently. like he actually cared about your well-being.

“if i may, could i help you with that?” he got up the bench and lent out a hand.

and the rest was history. so when you heard those words out of bokuto’s mouth you instantly cried even more.

“obviously i’m not fucking starving myself.” you sharply stated.

“yeah no trust me y/n it’s pretty obvious that you’re not.”

the room was silent. did he just imply that i was fat?

“wait y/n-”

“have fun sleeping on the fucking couch” you slammed your shared bedroom door.

while it was closed, you immediately took off all your clothing. as you were just in your underwear, you grabbed your stomach. the fact that you could grab a handful of it, made you insecure again. like you were in high school. after a minute, you physically couldn’t look at yourself anymore. once your head hit the pillow you drifted off to sleep. having sleep for dinner feels oddly familiar.

when you slammed your door, bokuto had guilt written all over his face. he didn’t even understand why he said that. was he uncomfortable of how good his life was? and if that was the case, why did he have to jeopardize it this way? he finally realized that the life he had yesterday ago was pure happiness. he respected your wishes into sleeping on the couch that night. but, the next day he was going to make it all up to you.

as the sun just started to shine, he woke purposefully woke up early. hitting the farmers market to buy new ingredients for breakfast. his thoughts consisted of “y/n will like this” and “y/n loves these.” then, when he got home, he started cooking. whilst flipping the pancakes, he made sure to add extra love to it. he stacked the cakes with fresh berries on top, and a dazzle of “syrup goodness,” he likes to say.

as he knocks on the door and turns the knob, you weren’t there. his heart immediately dropped. he put down your breakfast on the dresser and his knees fell. crying for you. praying that you would come back.

his loud sniffles bothered you while you were shitting.

you yelled from the connected bathroom of your master, “BABE WHY ARE YOU CRYING”

silence.

you hear loud pattering running up to the bathroom and the door slammed open.

he quickly ran over to you and wrapped his arms around your head, “Y/N, MY DEAR Y/N, YOU’RE STILL HERE! MY PRAYERS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED I AM SO SORRY THAT I SAID THAT I DIDNT MEAN IT, EVEN IF YOU WERE TO GET BIG THERE’D BE MORE TO LOVE AND YOU’D BE SQUIS-”

“okay that’s enough i get it.” you frowned.

“bo, this would be more romantic... if i currently wasn’t taking a shit, could you let go of me?”

“no.” he said, with the same face used when you guys met and told him you were a dude.

after you finished your business, you hopped in the shower, and so did he. never in your life have you seen someone so excited to shampoo your hair. while the conditioner soaked, you turned around facing him.

“so, i’m really okay the way i am?” you faintly whispered.

he shut you up with a passionate kiss. clearly annoyed that you would say that. first it was on your lips, slowly down your nape, then to your stomach.

you blushed at the fact that he skipped your boobs. or so you thought. out of nowhere he grips your right one with force and says “hey if i feed you enough, could i possibly make these bigger?” he smirked.

you rolled your eyes and got out. you could hear bokuto solemnly whining in the background. you truly loved this man. with all your heart.

[atlabeth]

hello, ive just come from binging your entire zuko and sokka masterlsit.

i dont know how to express to you how fucking well written the zuko smau was. genuinely, that might have been my favourite smau ive ever read because it didnt just feel like a crack fic, there was plot and motivation to it and i ugh i started crying reading it. it was fantastic.

ive also just come from the ehfar series and i am politely begging you to add me to the taglist. you write so incredibly well and i on more than one occasion had to almost throw my phone across the room and dig my nails into my palms to prevent from yelling out loud because its just. its so amazing. it's been truly so fantastic to read and ive gotten so excited for whats to come.

hello, ive just come from crying about how nice this is

like seriously??? ive read this like 200 times already and each time it makes me smile the same way this is so sweet thank you so much!!!! transferred was the first thing i wrote on tumblr so it makes me so incredibly happy to know that you enjoyed it so much!!!

and of course!!! i just added you to the taglist!! im so so sorry that i havent updated in forever but on god you got me blushing over your compliments thank you so much!!!! you are literally the sweetest ever and you have completely made my day!!! im so glad you enjoy my writing 🥺🥺🥺 ily

[antiloreolympus]

13 Anti LO Asks

1. ok but thats seriously what bugs me so much about LO, it never actually lets serious moments be serious, it's always lampooned by rachel's insistent need to force in her juvenile "humor" and never actually depicting how pressing things are. even the following moments from persephone's r//pe was undercut by hades making stupid puns! i understand if rachel cant write something more serious than "[x] is bad" but if thats so, then dont try it? because thats how you end up with this pretentious mess.

2. since when did lo hades have earrings??? i legit do not remember this ever being a thing??? is he trying to be hip with the kids 😭my man you still look like a crusty old man the earrings arent helping 😭

3. lo hermes looks and acts like flaky from happy tree friends and no thats not a compliment (TW for gore, blood, and violence if any of you google it)

4. Even though the earlier art style was better there are still some cursed panels from the earlier pages that still haunt me. Especially the way Persephone was drawn differently in so many of the panels.

5. lo hades has such "how do you do fellow kids" energy and im not sure why

6. im also confused on the fertility goddess stuff because how stupid is persephone if she didnt notice? she can create life and nature without even thinking and shes implied to be a genius in biology, so how would she not even notice this? if RS really wants to go with this plot, then why have her professor bring it up in class? why not show persephone going to her uni's library to research the topic and pouring over it? that's an easy way to show persephone's intelligence, yet LO doesnt even try.

7. What I wanna know in LO was how Demeter and Hestia were compensated after the war. The three brothers got to be kings and Hera is queen, but what we know of Demeter is that she had a millionaire dollar business that’s probably made it on its own (unless she was helped out) and then Hestia all we really know about her is that she runs that TOGEM and idk if there’s only 4 of them, Hestia really had a group by herself for a bit since Athena is Zeus’ (assumed) daughter, Artemis (Zeus’ assumed daughter) and persphone (newest member) which seems shitty since they won a war together

8. I think what happened with LO’s art style was RS got “lazy” (I’m lacking the right word). I feel like without the colors all of the men in LO have the same body type, and Hermès and Apollo may even have the same face if they smile the same. So to compensate for that lack of body diversity, RS doubled down on Hades’ features to make him stand out more to really show he’s the male lead. However, even in her own words he looks like Persphones’ “dusty ass dad”

The women use to be a little different but they’re all starting to blend with body types. Her was small, but now she’s short and busty like Persphone. RS makes Persphone look short and busty all the time but almost childlike. Minthe was skinny but her last moments she was busy. Aphrodite I feel was just busty but then tried to make her look small also with Ares and Hades beside her. Hestia stayed the same but is still small and busty. Athena was tall and thin (?) but now she’s tall but busty (and her relationship with Hestia looks like it mirrors HXP). Idk I just feel like the longer screen time the female characters get the more they start mirroring Persphone’s look. Like even Artemis was getting empathized on being small next to her brother Apollo. Like all the girls gotta look small but curvy as the story goes on. 

9. Demeter: watched her friend get ripped in half. Watched her friend get continually cheated on, paying the price for not hiding a mistress , watched metis get eaten, her back clawed, fought in a war. Later made a daughter who’s a fertility goddess (probably an accident) and now has to raise her. That same daughter then went on a rampage and isn’t really remorseful

Fans: Demeter is such an overbearing mother who gets in the way of our ship.

10. on regards to ace characters, asexuality is a spectrum like everything else, so a lot of asexuals actually do enjoy and have sex, so the maidens doing so isnt inherently a problem, its the fact rachel is clearly viewing it through a strict binary where she assumes asexuality is something that can be "fixed" over time/when the right person comes along. its also a bad modern reading of it, as "virginity" in an ancient sense meant via marriage, not via sex, but I doubt rachel cares to factcheck it.

11. Imagine an elf is given a job to do at a human institution. The humans think elves don’t need bathroom breaks, since they know they can hold it for days, but this elf has been traveling to reach their job, and has already been holding it to the point they are in pain. They ask for a break, but their job is important and time sensitive, so they admit they can still hold it when asked. After a full day of work, the elf tries to reach the bathroom in time, but they were never told where it is.

From OP: I think this might be a nymph allegory? Anon never specified so I'll put this here anyway.

12. ya know if hades has to lie to make apollo seem worse (who does not need much in this comic) its like??? why is he persephone's lawyer then?? lawyers are literally told not to lie, this is basic law 101. thats why they dont want their clients to mention to them if they actually did the crimes because then the lawyers have to say it in court. if hades lies so casually just to keep persephone away from justified punishment, then thats bad actually!  both in being a decent person and as a lawyer!

From OP: Hades didn’t lie but he was definitely out of line. RS liked a tweet saying that the wife thing was “subconscious” so it probably was. (Still doesn’t make it right but I doubt he’d say those things on the stand.)

13. I know Minthe was written in a way she was suppose to be unlikesable, she’s rude, she yells and she doesn’t hesistate. HOWEVER RS wrote her character badly. Minthe is so unliked? How was she able to be a bad gf to hades and Thanatos? Like yes it’s an affair but how was she able to pull 2 gods?! We don’t hear Hades or Thanatos say what they like about her BUT they both still had a fling with her. (Honestly I feel it’s cause RS can’t bare writing one nice thing about the female anatangoist without trying to make Persphone look good)

The other thing bothering me was everyone knew about her relationship with Hades after she put it on fatesbook, but everyone talked about the kiss in such a positive light IN FRONT OF HER. Aren’t they suppose to be scared of her? Why did the girls in the yoga class/dress shop had so much to say about that kiss? Because they knew persphone? Did they know every other detail too? What was their actual beef with Minthe?

I feel like realistically some more characters would have sympathy for Minthe if they didn’t know her that well because of Hera. Everyone knows Hera is a pill to deal with and she’s the goddess of marriage who hasn’t really tried bringing Minthe and Hades to the alter. That right there should let everyone know that Hera probably doesn’t help the situation.

Idk, I feel like RS could have gone deeper and made the character not such HXP shippers cause most people wouldn’t cheer for cheating nor an old ass guy getting with a 19 year old. (Idk how fast the news of the slap spread, but I doubt it made it to every place in their fictional world)

[blxetsi]

Hello! I love your blog and writing so much! May I please request modern au dating hcs for Mikasa?

tysm for requesting ilysm 🙈💥

i also went a bit overboard i hope thats okay !!

modern mikasa ackerman dating headcanons

lowercase intended !

college!mikasa ackerman x gn!reader

- eren finds out abt her crush on you. idc idc

- mf may be dense sometimes but he isnt stupid, he KNOWS what mikasa acts like when shes in the presence of her crush,, he would know bc he was one ;)

- anyways, maybe your like, going up to ask mikasa for her notes from last class, or just chatting with them to be friendly

- either way mikasa goes from 😳 to 😐 real quick

- shes very quiet which youre used to so you dont really think too long abt her lack of communication. its literally just you and eren talking at this point

- after you leave to,,, idk sit under a tree ?? erens immediately turning to mikasa being like "okay tell me everything"

- she denies the crush on u 😔💔

- but then eren tells armin.

- and eren has a big mouth so who knows who else he told ??

- so finally, after beating up eren for spilling the beans she tells her two closest friends EVERYTHING

- like from how nice your hair smells to how pretty she finds your eyes. how she loves your sense of style. she just likes everything about you

- erens like "i mean yeah theyre rlly cute but like,,, what do you like about them that isnt physical 😐"

- mikasa starts blushing HARD. and slowly goes to her bedroom in their shared apartment, before slinking back out holding a crinkly folded piece of paper.

- its something you wrote and it says "thanks for studying with me mikasa !! let me treat you to boba as a thanks. youre so sweet, ill see you next class babie"

- erens looking at the note like 😐 mf is this it ??

- armins flipping it back and forth and reading it over and over again

- mikasa just says "theyre kind to everyone. and theyre funny. i just like them a lot."

- erens like 🙄 k but armins all for it

- then they start coming up with a plan to get you to like mikasa back (even though mikasa doesnt want that)

- erens an asshole and says "mikasa i love you and you will always be my number one, HOWEVER. they might just see you as a friend, OR WORSE. an aquaintance. we gotta make u so cool that youre irresistable"

- now mikasa is a bit worried

- HOWEVER. what none of those idiots know is that YOU have had a fat crush on mikasa since you asked her for a pencil at the beginning of the semester 😍 she stared at u like 😐✏️ and u were like "omg thanks 😊" w a little blush on ur cheeks bc mikasa's hot

- i mean,, if you didnt like mikasa WHY would you have invited her out for boba ?? one, who doesnt like boba ?? and two,, doesnt that count as a date ? u didnt know but u just wanted to like ✨subtly✨ shoot your shot

- but that was almost a month ago and she hasnt said yes. so you assume she didnt wanna go

- a few days go by after mikasa tells her friends all about her crush. and like,,, they do nothing ?? what happened to the big plan of making mikasa seem like the coolest person around ?

- it turns out eren doesnt know enough about you to know what you like. and ur dumbass friends aint help either.

- so one day he finds you and mikasa coming out of your shared class, your talking about something and mikasa is just nodding with a blush on her cheeks.

- he runs up to both of you before saying "hey just to let you know mikasa has a big crush on you. and she'd love to go get boba with you 😁👍"

- mikasa gets so red in the face and starts smacking him with her binder. you couldnt stop it even if you tried

- after literally YELLING at them for their attention you just turn to mikasa like "please get boba with me 🥺" and she cant resist

- and then the rest is history 😌✨

- after the boba date you learned so much about her and vice versa. you guys were like,, closer than ever. always going to her apartment or her coming to your dorm

- you guys would have sleepovers very frequently. nothing ever happens but you two like being so close with each other

- and you guys do a lot together when you arent busy with school or work or friends

- mikasa takes you to cool museums and art galleries

- you take her to cool shops downtown and parks

- its so fun

- but you cant help but wonder if youre dating or not ?? like do you have the right to call mikasa your gf ?? you guys havent kissed on the lips but she always kisses your head when you cuddle, and you always take each other out on dates

- on the day you finally bring it up during one of your sleepovers. shes on her back and youre almost on top of her with your arms around her shoulders and your face smushed into her chest

- u just kinda mumble "are you my girlfriend ?"

- and its SILENT.

- u start freaking out bc "omg she doesnt like me 😁👍 im gonna cry"

- until she just quietly says. "yes."

- OFNWIDNKWSMWKKWKALSMQLSME

- ur gonna marry this girl 😐

- her love language ?? definitely acts of service. idc idc.

- when u sleep over shes making you tea without u asking. (u said u liked lavender tea ONCE and this bith got a whole container 😭😭)

- when you have movie nights with her, eren, and armin she always chooses a movie you like ("no we arent watching the florida project again armin cried last time" "yeah but y/n loves it so" "this feels like oppression mikasa" "okay and ?")

- is also very protective. she hears mfs in the halls talking shit about you ?? shes shutting them up with her glare

- also u know how isayama made her goth in his like, highschool thingy ?? yeah 😍

- #gothmikasasupremacy

- she makes her eyeliner and shadow messy on purpose.

- you love just laying her down on her bed and straddling her, just leaning over and doing her makeup for her (jules and anna tease 🙈✨)

- sometimes you guys go to thrift stores and pick out outfits for each other

- one time you found this GORGEOUS floral sundress and she physically shivered from the thought of wearing

- tried it on and looked SO BEAUTIFUL, but it wasnt her style 😐

- also doesnt tell her parents about you ?? not bc shes embarassed or anything but just because she knows her dad is gonna be like "who are they ? what are they like ? where do they live ? whats their major ? where are they from ? whats their zodiac sign ?"

- he doesnt do it to play the "overprotective dad" role but because hes genuinely curious and excited

- she brings you home for the first time and youre so surprised because this tall blond man is her FATHER ?? she looks so much like her mom though its not even funny

- for dinner her mom and dad made traditional japanese food 😭😭 it was so good omfg

- also this has nothing to do with dating headcanons but mikasa used to live off of lunchables as a kid. was literally addicted to the rubber like ham 😍

- her mom is so sweet, and she shows you all of the stuff she's embroidered all these years

- her dad is so extroverted, he loves telling dad jokes. you find them HILARIOUS but mikasa sits there like 😐👍

- he DEMANDS you guys play scrabble. he says it help him figure out who you are as a person. now youre scared 😁👍

- anyways

- you love giving her little kisses on her lips because one, you get some of her moisturizing lip gloss on your lips and two, she blushes SO HARD

- one time you two were on a date and you ran into her ex. whos literally so scary

- her name is annie and shes blonde and muscular and rlly hot but has that same blank stare as mikasa

- you feel kinda weird bc how did she go from being with ANNIE to you ??

- you ask her abt it and shes like "oh yeah we dated in our last year of high school. im much happier with you" and now youre feeling all giggly and happy bc mikasa doesnt lie 😭😭

- u roll around on her bed with your cheeks squished together to hide your blush bc you feel so good that she said that

- she just rolls her eyes before getting on top of you and taking your hands away from your face

- she gives u kisses all over before putting the final one on your lips. its such a soft and sweet moment with just the two of you, you cant help but confirm what youve already thought:

youre gonna marry her one day.

a/n

i REAAALLLLYYYY enjoyed making this oml. i hope u all enjoyed this !! remember: requests r open for anything aot OR u can give me ideas for other fandoms to write for

kk goodbye friends 🤩🤩🤩

[percyjacksonfan3]

The Last Olympian Thoughts

So because I have absolutely 0 self-control or restraint when it comes to this series and its characters, and for The Last Olympian in particular, I could not put TLO down. Because of this I figured I couldn’t do the usual photo reaction posts I have been so far, because the spam would just be ridiculous, so I am stealing the idea from @yourstrulytaaay​ to do a masterpost instead. (Adding a Read More cause this got ridiculously long)

Fun fact, TLO came out right after i finished reading the series for the first time so it's the first PJO book i bought  and my only hard cover one for the og series. I checked the year and turns out it was published 2009, which means i was actually 9 when i read the series for the first time. I realize this is not really a fun fact but i thought i was older when I first read the series so it's blowing my mind a little ‘cause now I’m 21 and everything hits different and i still have so much love for this series and the characters Okay onto book thoughts: - i was right that this book is gonna destroy me, the first line alone made me so excited and nostalgic it's ridiculous - I love Rachel and Percy sm tbh. Her being a bit of peace and normalcy in his life without always reminding Percy of who and what he is is so good for him. Just a little escape

- of course by the end of the book that's not the case any more but by the end he's lived his prophecy so he doesn't need it as badly, plus he and Annabeth are solid again - Percy saying Annabeth has been hard to be around lately... Ouch my heart. Luke really is the last thing that keeps them from being together and Percy is so jealous and Annabeth so torn and in pain, i feel so bad for them both

- Beckendorf 🥺🥺 - the telkhine with the Lil Demon lunchbox!! I forgot about him. Percy: 'i left him alive, partly because his lunchbox was cool' is one of my absolute favourite lines tbh - Paul taking Percy crabbing and being imperative in helping Percy kill the giant crab 💖 Paul Blofis is important and deserves the world, okay? - aw Percy, you can't save every demigod bb

- 'i had to fight him eventually. Why not now?... What difference would a week make?' Oh Percy you have no idea - real talk tho, the fact Kronos possessed Luke's body would also mess me tf up. Percy keeps forgetting it's not Luke anymore and yeah, that would be so so hard and confusing af, like what another smart little mind game for Kronos to pull on top of everything else - the fact Percy fights Kronos before getting the Achilles Curse and actually doesn't die within seconds is... Astounding. He kicks him in the chest! And yeah Kronos is weaker and still adjusting to Luke's body, but Percy is having trouble fighting Luke cause they used to be friends - Percy breaks Kronos' time magic!! Like?! Boy is POWERFUL.

- OUCH - honestly Luke, Thalia and Annabeth's family breaking the way it did... Don't talk to me. Poor Annabeth, Luke betrayed them, Thalia joined the Hunters because of Luke's betrayal so she's pretty much AWOL all the time and then Luke dies. Like Rick wtf, my heart can't take it? -Percy and Tyson having each others backs when talking to Poseidon in the underwater palace is the brother-brother relationship we love to see - Percy trying to stick a sand dollar in the vending machines at school 🤦🏻‍♀🤦🏻‍♀ - the whole underwater interaction at Poseidon's palace? Perfection. Awkward family drama and all - Connor falling out of the tree when he sees Percy because he's so excited 😂😂

- 😭💖

- k, ik Clarisse isn't perfect but tbh if i was a child of Ares whose father was disrespected and hated by my fellow campers (ares deserves it but still) and that disrespect trickled down to how the other campers treated ME (which if Percy is reliable here, it obviously does) then i would also be irritated at being used for muscle and nothing else? And just expected to fight with the people who act as if they'd rather not have Ares kids around the rest of the time. Like Clarisse isn't totally wrong - Percy reading the prophecy, seeing he's meant to die and just being like 'i do not see it' and refusing to outright think about it makes me so sad for him - (but it taints every action after and he's super reckless afterwards bc of it- including finally breaking and accepting the Achilles Curse) - (also him taking this as the last straw and finally beginning to show Annabeth how he really feels, cause fuck it, he's dying anyway) - Give me more info about Rachel's backstory and family Rick!! -  how did i forget Percy willingly eats chocolates that taste like cardboard because 'i didnt have anything against cardboard' like sir? Ik Silena didn't want them but still? - 'she'd always been cute, but she was starting to be seriously beautiful' STOP, MY HEART CAN'T TAKE IT - Percy staring at Annabeth and forgetting what they're talking about cause hes so distracted 👌🏻

- hmm yeah... For some strange reason.... - i forgot how Percy totally bombs this convo bw them and now want to cry 😭 Annabeth is trying to talk about what's important and Percy, you sweet oblivious man, you're shooting her down without even realizing - love that they're both on the same wavelength tho. Percy two lines before, hmm it's cool to date ppl from other cabins, wonder why im thinking that around Annabeth, my best friend in the world, and then Annabeth a beat later, hmm, let me bring up Silena and Beckendorf and how it's important to be with the people you love when you have the chance, no way Percy will miss this huge hint right? - they're the best - k i honestly forgot Percy full on physically intimidates Leneus like that - luke telling his mom if he ran away the monsters wouldnt get her..i can just imagine luke crying when he says good bye before running away because he thinks it's his fault his mom is like that and he cant take care of and protect her anymore because it's too hard - uh oh now i have angsty pre-lightning thief luke fic inspo... Him, Thalia and Annabeth on the run... The ANGST -  Rick holds absolutely nothing back in this book and i am in pain - HESTIA!! 💖💖🥰 - actual loml - i love that Rick titled this book after her and that he wrote such a great series about the importance of family (biological, found or otherwise) and home, and that he said actually Hestia is the most important bc shes the most humble and keeps the peace and knows when to fight and when to yield and you protect what you love, which is your home - i just... Adore Hestia - Grover! Missed you babes - Hades is so so horrible to Nico, always comparing him to Bianca :/ - but i do love Hades, Persephone and Demeter together they make me laugh - oh god the River Styx - Achilles 🥺 - Annabeth being Percy's lifeline is, and continues to be, A Lot™ - 'my name was Percy Jackson. I reached up and took Annabeth's hand.' LOL Why am i crying? - Like the fact there is no Percy without Annabeth, and that remembering her literally reminded him of who he is in his very soul... It's fine im fine - i won't even get into the parallels of her being his lifeline now and then later when Hera takes his memories but leaves the memory of Annabeth for Percy to fight to get back to (anyone who wants to yell about it with me... Feel free to message) - badass Percy is my fav Percy tbh - him defeating Hades?? Like? Hades is arguably the most powerful god, okay - i feel bad for Nico but if i was Percy I'd do the exact same, Nico, sorry man but this is a high stakes time crunch deal and Nico is literally the only hope of persuading Hades and distracted by his own internal stuff - flashbacks to Luke, Thalia and Annabeth hurt, ow - George and Martha are the best - damn i forgot Hermes full on nearly kills Percy here, yikes - Luke stop cockblocking Percabeth challenge

- i love!! Percy's love for New York!! So much!! - Percy leaving to live in New Rome in HoO is a lie and this is all the proof i need for why - the fact the entire last half of the book is the battle and aftermath... Such great buildup and pacing. All the tricks and twists and battles in this War of Manhattan? I would not take out a thing, Rick, you legend - of course then the final battle in hoo with the gods is what? Two pages? Ugh, don’t talk to me about my hatred for BoO and HoO - 'no detours you two' is still the cutest thing!!! - THE HUNTERS!! Thalia i missed you - good job Percy, you finally spent your sand dollar - Minotaur!! - 'dont i get a kiss for luck? Its kind of a tradition right?' Percy finds out he's gonna die and is out of fucks to give and honestly I support him - also Michael just standing beside these two while they're flirting like umm 👀 👀 while a monster army marches towards them, nbd - Annabeth taking Ethan's knife meant for Percy!!! Cause she just knows his weak spot without him even telling her! They literally invented love - Feral Percy is so scary omg, i love how well Rick incorporates the Achilles Curse in this novel, with the whole heightened weaknesses and stuff ans the parallels to Achilles arrogance being what killed him and Percy's loyalty, fierceness and protective instinct being his own heightened weakness - the fact that Percy is the one who inadvertantly kills Michael Yew tho, I'll never recover from that - the fact Hades offers Maria di Angelo a golden palace by the Styx like how Poseidon offers Sally a palace under the sea tho. Let's talk about that parallel - the entire talk with Prometheus is so so good - not me picturing young Luke hiding in the closet to get away from his mom when she has an 'episode' -i love callbacks in stories and all of the callbacks to the rest of the series in this book make me very happy (medusa, minotaur, the underworld, Rainbow!! My baby!!, Daedalus and more) - Percy summoning a wholeass hurricane against Hyperion - the Party Ponies! They're so chaotic, i love it - Dionysus! 😁 I can't help it, i love him - Percy absolutely losing it when he sees Sally and Paul asleep in the car 🥺 - Rachel telling Percy he's not the hero screws with him so much :( poor bb - although i really really love how Rick wrote this, it's so refreshing to not have one chosen one save the world, but a combination of people - the drakon, Silena and Clarisse make me cry - the Patrochilles references, im not okay - Annabeth giving up on Luke after hearing what he did to Silena and Percy telling her that doesn't make him happy 😭 that whole interaction makes my heart ache - Percy giving Hestia Pandora's pithos 🥺 - and Hades, Nico and the others coming for a final attack is so badass, i love it - listen im glad the og trio were the ones to confront Luke on Olympus but the fact Thalia got so close and then pinned by a statue of HERA makes me so sad. Ik her and Luke were finished and she coped by cutting him off completely and giving up all hope but i would pay money to know what they would have said to each other to say goodbye - Ethan 🥺 - Poseidon joining the fight against Typhon is so cool, such a great scene - 'PEANUT BUTTER!' - Annabeth you brilliant badass you - RIP Luke, you werent great but you werent the worst either - the gods just rolling up seconds too late, wondering wtf happened in Olympus and who the dead body is - the chapter where the Olympians meet and give out rewards is one of my absolute favourites (again i am incensed we didn't get anything like this in HoO) - will Percy turning down immortality ever not make me scream in glee? No? Alright then - Annabeth being relieved like Percy was relieved at the end of Titan's Curse tho - oh Hermes :/ - its so hard reading all this and knowing what comes in HoO... Like it's such a cathartic, earned and mostly happy and peaceful ending and then HoO comes along and undermines it all - aww Rick let Paul see Olympus somehow pls, he deserves it, he killed a dracanae - (i would also love to see it) - Percy being more upset Rachel took his pegasus than her going to Camp and possibly dying, lol, priorities dude - i honestly think that Rick had other ideas for the second Great Prophecy and how things would go down in BoO, cause the prophecy like... Barely applies to BoO, Doors of Death are in book four, and explabations of it is all so unclear when Rick is usually pretty good with that stuff - PERCABETH - lol Percy complaining about privacy when he and Annabeth are caught kissing literally in the middle of the very open and public dining pavilion, okay - BEST UNDERWATER KISS OF ALL TIME - that's it and im a glass case of emotion - very happy to say that this series remains my favourite of all time 💖

 If anyone ever wants to come gush about anything Riordanverse related feel free, because as you can see I have a lot of thoughts about it all

[surviving---not---living]

What the fuck do I do?...

**tw emotional/physical abuse mentions**

posted this on reddit with different ages and such so he wont find it but he doesnt use tumblr so I wanted to post here to see if yall had some suggestions as well any help would be greatly appreciated or to just know someone read would also be enough... with that said I'll paste the post.

to start I'm 23f and the fiance is 38m

I have an idea of what i should do i just sincerely dont want to i dont want to leave him homeless and without money or a job...

but the last few months have me scared and confused...

(during arguments he let's me write down what's happening when I hear something that stands out to me in Hope's itll help me fix my behaviour i got from my parents so ive been able to write down exact wording on some things said) theres just so much going on...

to preface this hes never been physically abusive to me and thankfully it's not there yet. in his defense though i was raised very incorrectly due to shit parents and I have a lot of mental issues that cause self sabotage, delusional thinking- meaning If I personally believe something it usually takes a small war to get my mind to recognize im actually wrong, as well as terrible memory so if I do acknowledge I've done something wrong more often than not my head forgets what happened or what i even did wrong if anything and the next time it inevitably happens again I have no information to pull from to tell me what I did was wrong or why. so basically I'm kind of a fuck up, I'm doing my best to fix my shit but yeah my fiance has been dealing with all of that for 4 years now.

(*some minorly important issues

•he's been interrupting me not letting me finish what I'm saying and just outright changing the topic since we first got together, although wrong of me I started doing that as well because i saw no other way to be able to speak to him except even when I'm doing the exact same shit hes doing it seems like hes the only allowed to be upset.

•we were in an open relationship except he didnt follow the rules we agreed to one time and that broke my trust I had for him. we said no coworkers, we said only people we were both interested in we said no one that's taken and yet all of those got broken over an ugly bitch. and I still get shit for bringing it up to this day.

•he said that until I start prefacing all of my conversations with him he wont count any attempt I've made at talking to him about my problems. so basically everything I've tried talking to him about doesnt fucking matter and it doesnt fucking count. not even when I tried telling him 3 separate times I'm feeling suicidal to top it off everytime i mentioned it, it ended in an argument.

•he told me he got suicidal thoughts for the first time in 10 years due to me and honestly I didnt know how to fucking respond to that. it made me sad yeah but where was the care I needed when I brought up the same thing? where was his give a fuck hes supposed to show if he actually cares about me??

•he says he interrupts me because what I have to say is either false, not grounded in reality, or they're excuses. except he has little to no way of knowing any of that is true unless he hears me all the way out I could be agreeing with him and he still interrupts and gets pissed.

•I believe hes a hypocrite but he says nah hes only doing this because I'm doing bad.

•hes said multiple times that i wont see any improvement in him until he sees I've got my shit together. even though hes the one that caused the first problems in this relationship I'm supposed to be the first one to fix my shit? instead of both of us working on our shit together??? and when I ask those questions he responds with yes you are supposed to be the first one to fix your shit because I'm at the end of my rope and I wont take this anymore.)

but on to why I've been scared. this person told me he used to be abusive with an equally abusive ex for many reasons and after splitting up he vowed to never do that again and never end up like they did.

fast forward to our relationship and well a few months ago he told me he wanted to hit me and made it a point to say he wasnt going to but he really wanted to.

he said that because we were both in my car and he wanted to leave with the car except I wasnt going to get out of MY car so he started yelling, i got scared and left later on he told me that was the first time hes ever wanted to hit me and I should think about what it is I did to get him to that point. after that I left it alone for a month because things got a bit better and then came the next time he said he wanted to hit me. now I dont remember the reason for him saying it the second time but I wasnt going to let that slip as easily as the first so I spoke up about it and what he had to say about me telling him it made me scared of him to know he wanted to hit me was " well if you Weren't a coward, normally when someone says they want to hit you it's a signal that you're doing something so wrong that they want to hit you." and me knowing him i knew this was one of those times he just wasnt going to budge.

so on to the next argument.

he told me I'm the one who thrust those thoughts into him, that I'm the reason they ever came to be, I'm why the exist in the first place. and he doesnt seem to understand when I say that no I'm not the reason your head wants to hurt me they exist there because of your last relationship letting that be an option. he also said he keeps the option of abuse in his head with a line in front of it to remind him to never pass that line and he doesn't understand that keeping that idea in his head at all is not a good thing because now the option is available whether you want to take it or not and

he. just. kept. arguing. and defending.

now on to the last argument.

he says he wants me to stop putting him in a position to do all the thinking and decision making for me, when I've asked him multiple times to stop doing that because I want to do shit for myself and all he keeps saying is show me that you can actually think for yourself and I'll stop needing to do that. like motherfucker at least give me the time to make decisions or thoughts.

I know it's not his fault that I take longer to process things but he knows this fact and keeps expecting me to already have a response half a second later to something I'm barely registering 5 seconds after it happened and again yes I know its something I have to work on and I am but atm it's still an existing issue.

hes trying to call thinking for me and making decisions for me "a gift" (the exact context for him saying this wasnt written down as I was too upset at the audacity of that claim.)

he wants me to show overwhelming efforts to fix my fucked behavioral issues but the efforts I'm putting in atm dont matter to him and that hes hanging on a single thread hes no longer willing to take anything but Absolute compliance(yes he used the actual words absolute compliance) if he doesnt see me losing sleep to figure out and fix my shit he wont be convinced I'm trying. he ended that segment with him saying hes not using these words to control or manipulate me. he says this is a requirement a yes or no and he wont make his decision on whether he wants to break up with me until I say yes or no to his absolute compliance. he said his decision is solely based on my answer and If i say yes i dont get to back off or get out of it.

I also wrote down a quote he said that was just so arrogant i couldnt leave it out.

"You sit before an artisan of problem solving." -my fiance

soo haha yeahh the last argument happened right before going to bed and I started typing this as soon as I got up and finished my hygiene stuff.

I'm pretty sure if he had never told me he'd wanted to hit me this wouldn't be such a difficult thing to answer... I love him and I have no idea if I should pick him and risk any form of my safety or just let him leave me.. he has no job, no money, and no family to go to.. I know he doesnt care about being homeless but I do care..I fucking love him and I dont want that for him not even for a day... as shitty as he and I can both be I still dont believe that's what he deserves... if he ever finds this hell be even more pissed that I'm even concerned about what he'll do if he leaves.. he always told me to not care and that if I ever do want to leave him to not worry about that and just get it over with sooner.. thing is I dont want to leave I just want my baby back... the one that didnt yell or didnt want to hit me at all... I want our old relationship back.. I guess I want to know if that's even possible at this point. any words from anyone would be really nice right now.. if only to just feel like someone's talking to me.. my fiance is literally the only person I talk to and the closest thing to a friend I have. and i dont tell my parents any of what's happening because they're stressed enough so I've been basically alone for 4 years with no one but my fiance to talk to..

granted it's my fault I havent made other friends but I've been so stressed recently that I havent done much about it for many reasons..

update: he just finished telling me that hes only had half a burger in the last 3 days, (due to stress) he just wanted to let me know that apparently.

[filliteapot]

I'm going to use this part of what you said in a previous answer that made me really curious "the way of the authors to tell the story is another matter" to know your top 5 (or ~10) of that :)

Ah :D I guess the easier way to put it would be “This time I chose my favourite styles basing on art style mostly, but if I were to choose my fav storytelling/mix of art and how authors tells it/what they want to transmit, the odrer/the list would be different” :”) So some authors/stories on the list of my fav storytelling (not sure if it's the right term for what i mean but let's use this) are the same I put in the previous list. The titles and authors won’t be surprise for you, but I’ll list them anyway. Warning: I love talking about such things a lot, so I suddenly wrote a lot.

(Ask me my top 5-10 anything)

1. Literally anything by Takaya Natsuki. You have no idea how #tired I am of all the discussions about both adaptations of her Furuba (which is better which is worse no listen to me bc I Have an Opinion of High Authority) when not a single adaptation quite got her style in storytelling, foreshadowing and especially presenting her characters’ personal drama. I think I espcially love her for not throwing it all in your face right away, being careful at hinting at things (so that you don’t quite get some parts of the characters’ thoughts and inner struggles until you learn the facts and it hits you) and for leaving you some space to use your own brain what you think about this or that storyline. (Tamura Yumi does it too which makes her my second fave author). Also, years after reading and rereading her works I see better how storylines are entwinted and unfolding, and it still makes me yell “HOW does she do it” every time I go back to Furuba and her other works and see something new. I love her Hoshi wa Utau (which hits hard and is painfully real in the matter of parents/children’s conflicts), and Liselotte to majo no mori (darkish fairytale with hopeful messages) and wish more people knew about them too, not only Furuba.

2. Kouno Fumiyo’s Yunagi no Machi Sakura no Kuni. I first read this manga a long time ago and was dying of happiness when it got published in my country bc oh my gosh. It’s a historical thing, it’s a heavy thing, she does have such unique style (my first thought was ”ah looks cute, like children books illustrations” and then it killed me) and approach to place panels on pages or transitions between scenes or past and present (I think some comic researcher or smth even called it innovative). The page that struck me the most was a spread near the end of this story, presenting a character in his older years sitting on the beach of a river in Hiroshima and him in the same place right after the war. Perhaps it doesn’t sound so original but this work and these two pages live rent free in my soul to this day.

3. Ando Yuki’s oneshots (and Machida-kun). She is my favourite short stories author, she just knows how to tell it so that I got tuned in from the start. Be it a school slice of life or basically Edith Piaf’s song Hymne à l'amour presented in the form of manga oneshot, they give me immense joy. And oh, there’s almost always a twist near the ending I can’t predict. Her characters act a bit weird and take weird decisions sometimes but I think it’s what makes them feel so real to me.

And it’s cheating, but while I’m talking about oneshots, I want to mention Midorikawa Yuki and her shorter-than-Natsume stories. Because they give me a similar feeling to Ando’s oneshots - the atmosphere is different, but the way they touch my heart is the same. Don’t get me wrong, I love Natsume and its structure (main characters and their personal jouney through unrelated stories of other people/not humans), but I love Midorikawa’s shorter stories much more.

4. Takamatsu Misaki’s Skip to Loafer. One of the best slice stories I’ve ever read. Right amount of drama and comedy, a cast of characters with different problems and motivations. I can’t help but think “Oh I wish I were able to create a story like this one day”. Also, someone wrote about it: “let me live the wholesome high school life i didnt have” and ugh I felt it :”))

5. Yazawa Ai’s stories: Nana and Gokinjo Monogatari. Did “Nee, Nana” moments kill my soul every time it was used in the story? Yes, absolutely. Did it make me cry? Don’t even ask.

6. Nishi Keiko’s stories: Otoko no Isshou, Koi to Gunkan. A person I know described her stories like this: “If life goes the wrong way, it’s better to go home”, and I think it sums it up. Both of the stories I listed are about ordinary life in small towns, they both me melancholic and somehow cozy feeling. Both stories have themes and characters that don’t really interest me much, but when I read them, I usually cry. It’s another A+ slice of life author imo.

7. Tsukuba Sakura’s Mekakushi no Kuni. It’s dear to me for special reasons. There a girl who sometimes sees future when touches other people, there is a boy who sees the past all the time he does the same, there’s another boy... And NO evil organizations chasing them for their superpowers, NO global plots or problems or author’s will to condemn society, no deep philosophy questions about time and so on. Just normal slice of life of not so normal peoplewho try to cope with this particularity they have and fit the world they live in. (I wish authors realized the potential of such slice of life centered urban fantasy but they keep failing me aiming at the Global, sigh)

8. Torino Nanko’s Toripan. It’s basically authors essays on her daily life and mostly birdwatching, but ugh it’s so good. Peak comedy about birds and heartfelt pages for when she speaks about her memories or remarks on nature, it’s so full of love towards this world and life. After I read Toripan I feel like I become kinder and better :DD

(author’s A+ faces and haiku about sparrows in the winter)

9. Watanuki Yoshiko’s Manatsu no Delta. I read it some time ago and my first thought was “Wow, this IS how you touch an unpleasant yet existing problem”. I’ll certainly be waiting for this author’s other works.

10. Ikuemi Ryo’s stories, especially the ones featuring metaphorical ghosts (Kiyoku Yawaku, Torch Song Ecology) and Taiyou ga Mite Iru. Joseis with ghosts are my fave thing on earth, and Ikuemi’s great at it. But she can make any theme totally worth digging into, be it school life or cheating and complicated family relationships. I think TGM is her work that left the deepest trace in my soul because I was reading it when it was ongoing, for three years, and it’s basically just something that makes you die slowly looking at how not so bad people fk up their life decisions bc of their unresolved traumas and issues but you can’t take your eyes of it and then need several years of therapy after reading such manga. And she doesn’t even preech or say you should not live like this. She’s like “this is a life story I want to tell, take whatever you want from it” and I’m like “gooosh this is so painful and looks so real and makes me feel things, I love it”. Ikuemi Power as it is. (Life teaches me nothing, I lowkey want to read something like TGM again and Akaneda Yuki’s Saraba Yoki Hi fulfills this wish of mine, but uh I’m so glad it’s rarely updated)

(text: Nire is here to kill me)

Thanks for such ask, it was fun :D