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thewalrusespublicist · 2 months ago

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Stress Testing Song Lyric Theories: Real Love/Real Life/Stepping Out Demo Meta

What's this? Another long-ass essay analysis on a piece of John Lennon's media that keeps getting taken down by the Ono Lennon estate? More likely than you think (especially when you're this autistic).

As a history obsessive and a grizzled, mood ruining, eternal hater/skeptic, I have misgivings when people in the Beatles fandom look at song lyrics only through one specific lens/focus as it can lead to a myopic and potentially inaccurate take of the subject matter. This I've noticed is particularly bad with older Beatles fans looking at John's work through just the Yoko lens and other fans looking at it just through the Paul lens. (This ain't a lecture btw, I am as guilty as anyone when it comes to doing both.)

When dealing with contentious things like interpreting feelings and songs (nothing could POSSIBLY go wrong with that combo lol), it's important to get at least the facts we do have straight, which is why I wanted to go through some of the fandom's darlings and take them apart to see if the theories about them actually hold up to scrutiny.

To start out, I'd thought I go big with having a proper look at John Lennon's 1977 real life/real love/stepping out demo. I wanted to tackle this one as this is one of only three unconfirmed songs in John's catalogue that I was 100 % convinced was about Paul. As I've mentioned before, this was to me the smoking gun to end all smoking guns, my golden calf, Real Love demo my beloved etc. Got to say, I'm glad I did, as the outcome was a lot more complicated than expected! So let's get to the demo:

Analyzing songs for a fixed specific meaning or one coherent subject is always ... challenging. Songs are a medium to express both real or imagined concepts, feelings and events. You can't know everything about the artist's thought process and therefore their work, especially in regards to what is fictional/metaphorical and what is real (pun intended). What's special about this demo though (and what makes it easier to work with) is the fact that its less of a fully crafted song and more one long stream of consciousness ramble. The line between subject and artist is dissolved as we sit at the piano with John as he tells us about his miserable morning:

Woke up this morning. Blues around my head. Ain't no need to ask the reason why. Went to the kitchen. Lit a cigarette. Blew the smoke rings in the sky. Just got to let it go. Just got to let it go.

The song (or ramble) carries on like that for a while as we get to John reading the newspaper (keep this bit in mind, it might come in handy later):

Picked up the paper. Read the Daily News. Nothing doing anyway. Same old BS. Doot doot doot doot cruise. Nah nah nah nah now. Let go. Let it go. (laughs) No, what am I doing? Why don't you let it go? Why don't you let it go? Mm, it's real life. It's real. Yes, it's real life. It's real. Let go. Let the mighty river flow. Let go. Let go. Oh, rock your balls, you...

As we can see in the stanza above, John is bored and clearly agitated/embarrassed about something.

Then more stanzas about boredom and a lack of fulfilment wherever he goes and then we get to the stanza that everyone here is probably familiar with:

Was I just dreaming or was it only yesterday? I used to hold you in my arms. And now a baby, and another on the way (laughs) la la la la la farm (laughs) Why must we be alone? Wah wah wah wah wah wah wah. (scats)

If it don't feel right, don't do it. If it don't look right, look right through it If it don't feel right, don't do it. Just call him/them on the phone.

People go insane over this stanza and for good reason. It's a confession of lost intimacy with someone who:

Is clearly important to John

He is now more distant with

Is connected to babies or having a baby

Is connected to a farm

The mystery of course is, who is this person? Realistically, there is only really three people we know of who even somewhat fit these specific categories. Let's go through them:

First potential subject: Yoko!

This one has some legs. More than I was expecting. At this point John and her:

Do have an infant

Are purchasing a farm together (I think the sale went through 1978 so they should be talking about that in 1977.)

Distant from one another (their marriage was rocky throughout the mid-late 70s)

With Yoko as the subject, the stanza could be a reflection of their lost intimacy:

Was I just dreaming or was it only yesterday? I used to hold you in my arms. - self explanatory, the yesterday here has no significance but to signify nostalgia. The dream in this circumstance could be the dream of their relationship, The Ballad of John and Yoko.

And now a baby, and another on the way (laughs) la la la la la farm (laughs) - A long time has passed, they have a kid now. Now this takes some manipulation but is the farm 'the baby on the way'? The new shared project that will take further attention away from their marriage? The laugh might indicate a sense of irony there, a bitter joke. Yoko and John have struggled to conceive, Sean is very likely their only shared child. Is the laugh brought about by a sad reflection of the farm replacing the gap of children?

Why must we be alone? Wah wah wah wah wah wah wah. (scats) - we are in this marriage but we are alone OR why are we alone? Their marriage was a cocoon, all-consuming but stifling. Maybe both of them needed air from time-to-time.

So this stanza alone works quite well to be about Yoko, if you go quite metaphorical. It works somewhat with the beginning as well, he's down and depressed, over the state of their marriage? He needs to let something go, an argument? Is he waking up to the fact that reality isn't this marriage fantasy?

What it doesen't straightforwardly answer is why he is SO mad/embarrassed/avoidant of these feelings? In the records we have of their conversations, John is usually VERY vocal about not seeing Yoko enough. So why is he holding feelings of distance back and wanting to forget about it?

It also doesn't answer why the person he is calling in the following stanza on the phone is a him/them. (It's hard to hear at a normal volume. but if you are an insane person and blast your headphones to an ear bleeding level, it sounds a lot more like him than them. For the sake of caution and covering all bases however, let's consider both for now.) Why would he have reticence calling his wife or refer to her as them? In all accounts of that time period he has no issue calling her or hell, just going and talking to HIS WIFE who lives in their shared flat. It's a weird, dangling thread. The only explanation that would fit the stanza being inspired by Yoko is John realising he needs connection outside of his fading marriage. (I want to raise and partially dismiss here that it could just be a separate train of thought, a reminder to himself that he has to call someone for a chore/service. Yoko handled most of the admin stuff so its not like he's doing any of that and he isn't doing anything professionally so its unlikely to be a random call).

Second potential subject: May Pang!

Now I almost dismissed May outright but girl you know what, good for you, this might actually be about you! Our dear May is:

Important to John (she's also in the diaries and he dreams about sleeping with her a lot, he is REALLY into May)

Distant now he and Yoko are back together

But not baby nor farm adjacent

Taking May in mind, there is a certain logic there. John allegedly does dream about May and sleeping with May so whilst the Yesterday has no significance, the dreaming would. She was his romantic partner and still into her so holding in arms makes sense. The next lines also make sense if you follow the same logic as Yoko's but more distanced. Time has passed and his circumstances with the baby and the farm is now massively different to before, maybe he wants an escape from responsibility represented by May?

With May in mind, the stanzas work a lot better than it does Yoko. It's real life, he can't be with her and he's got to let it go. But he can't so he wants to call 'them'. Or maybe he's had a fight with Yoko and is being reminded of May in his agitation.

So May works from an emotional standpoint and as long as that last line is really 'them'. (It begs the question of why not 'her' but anyway.) As it stands, May seems like a stronger candidate than Yoko in terms of the songs emotional logic.

So currently, May is in the lead but wait ... there's another contender...

Third potential subject: Paul!

Now this one is I think the fan favourite opinion on this site for this song and there's merit to it. Paul is:

Important to John

Relationship now distant (but not apparently distant enough for John to ALLEGEDLY stop dedicating pagggess to him in his diary/meet for dinner when they are in town/visit for Christmas).

Doesen't have a baby but he is expecting one with Linda.

John's got problems and those problems are usually projected onto a Paul shaped target. But beneath all that, was there any softness left, any tenderness?

Well yes, its fucking John Lennon, the man was a giant marshmallow with knives sticking out.

But in this song? Let's look at the stanza with Paul in mind:

Was I just dreaming or was it only yesterday? I used to hold you in my arms. - in the first line we have the 'oh shit Paul feelings incoming' klaxon of yesterday. Of course, John is allowed to reference yesterday without it necessarily being about Paul, but it's something to make a note of. Another is the dreaming. John often associates the Beatles/Paul with a dream, a fantasy, an illusion. Was his time with Paul/their closeness a dream? He is also ALLEGEDLY dreaming of Paul a lot during this period. The distance implied by yesterday also suggests a time period more applicable to Paul than Yoko/May.

The holding in arms with Paul in mind is ... well. There's no two ways about it it's unusual to think about a best friend like that. Taking out romantic implications for the sake of argument, firstly it doesn't have to be literal (just the idea of closeness) and second of all it would be like the fiftieth weirdest thing John said about Paul John has expressed similar sentiments of enjoying physical touch and closeness with a close mate.

And now a baby, and another on the way (laughs) la la la la la farm (laughs) - also needs manipulation here but still works. John's got a baby with his wife now Paul has a baby on the way with his wife yet their lives are completely separate. John could also be talking in extremes, Paul has just had a kid now another (he exaggerates the number of kids Paul has often). Paul lives on a farm, which John has been very focused on before (stttreeetch but maybe this is a point of comparison, they are still mirroring each other). The laugh here in this reading is a acknowledgement of vulnerability of the feelings he's singing about.

Why must we be alone? Wah wah wah wah wah wah wah. (scats) - harder to reconcile with Paul but could be John's projection hours, I am feeling alone therefore Paul must ALSO be feeling alone (unagi or some shit).

So the stanza also works well if we take it to be about Paul. I've said this in a prev post but being about Paul also makes the rest of the song more coherent. John is upset about something he is trying to let go of but is struggling with, he references being everywhere yet remains depressed and troubled by something in his past. All of this fits with John's relationship with Paul. With Paul in mind, the call line at the end makes a lot more sense. He wants to call him, or them, his friends who he hasn't spoken to and misses.

The big supporting evidence for this one is of course the newspaper articles for the Daily News found by a user on here who has sadly deactivated.

To be honest, these are a bit of a holy grail find. With the newspaper articles in mind, a coherent, nearly perfect narrative falls neatly into place. John has woken up in a bad mood and upon reading the paper he sinks into a worse mood as he reflects back on his old time with the Beatles. He feels the need to let it go yet is resentful and embarrassed about doing so. The articles also explain a few oddities of the song, namely why John just comes out with the word cruise just after discussing the paper:

If we consider that the newspaper contained the article about cruises, it makes sense for it to come out as a subconscious/conscious association (have checked btw as the audio isn't clear and it's absolutely cruise, it's much clearer when you decide your hearing is worth less than a parasocial fascination with a dead dude). The newspaper containing info about Paul also illuminates the potential reference to Paul's song 'Suicide' in the Nothing Doing line and why the stanza seems to go off the rails once the newspaper is mentioned. It's all BS apparently (classic John defense mechanism in play) but once it gets brought up, John laughs, starts questioning what he's even doing writing this song and then gets angry with himself, cutting off the first half of the take. The derailment there could be he can't believe he's singing about the news OR that the newspaper contains the emotional point he's trying to get away from. He then does a few pithy lines about the beach and mountain before circling to actually what's bothering him, the lost intimacy with the person who has a baby on the way and renewed desire to call him. The way it all fits and slots together is borderline unreal.

Buuuuttt ... there's a problem. No matter how fitting, how magically perfect, how right-seeming a theory is, it doesen't necessarily mean it's true. For it to work fully, John would have had to have recorded this on one (or two at a stretch) specific day(s) out of the whole year. It could still be about Paul of course if you take out the newspaper article element, however there are other timing issues as well. According to Dogget, this demo should date to a recording collection from late 1977 when John was going through a depressive episode, the article is dated to early 1977. Shortening the window further, the Ono-Lennon's took a trip to Japan from Summer to October and the Mccartney's third child was born in September, meaning that if it is from late 1977, its unlikely to be about Paul.

Now Dogget could very well be mistaken and this demo is from earlier on in the year. From research, the only thing I could find about John and Yoko in February 1977 is them going to visit a friend a few hours away on the 16th, so from the limited evidence I have at my disposal, there isnt a reason why it couldn't have been produced in February (if anyone has any info on early 1977 please let me know and I'll amend accordingly). Additionally, John's moods were mercurial and his mental health never great, it wouldn't surprise me if he had bad days pretty consistently throughout the year.

To wrap this whole ass dissertation up, from the context within the song, context of the major players in his life, the emotional logic of the song and the repeated references in addition to the newspaper clipping, I am 70% confident that this demo is about Paul and that Dogget was incorrect in his attribution of the demo to late 1977. I believe instead that this was recorded in early 1977, specifically on February 9th 1977 as indicated in the newspaper article. However, I am more than willing to concede that I am working on less information than I would like about John's movements at that time in early 1977 and why Dogget placed all of these in the late 1977 grouping (I think just vibes but wasn't sure, the google books page had that bit blocked lol). Therefore I think that a less likely but still plausible second option is that the subject is May or even Yoko in late 1977 during John's extended period of depression.

Power to all of you who made it this far, let me know if you want me to take a hatchet to any more fandom darlings or if you have any thing to add! Also remember this is only my analysis so feel free to disagree (but like in a fun friendly way pls, it isn't that serious)!

#john lennon #the beatles #paul mccartney #john and paul #yoko ono #may pang #song analysis #song meta

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ironyscleverer · 1 day ago

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Doctor Who as a Post-Colonial Metaphor

Recently I've been thinking a lot about how beautifully Doctor Who reflects the state of post-colonial British identity, and tumblr seems like the appropriate place to share my ramblings. So let’s see if I can explain in a way that makes sense.

I must start by putting on my obnoxious little film degree hat and reminding everyone that sci-fi is one of those genres that is highly political (as most things are, but scifi even moreso). It turns out it's pretty easy to get a sense of people's fears and anxieties by asking them to envision the future, and that's what sci-fi media does; it uses contemporary cultural standards and ideas to create a vision of what futuristic/advanced science and technology might look like, and how people might respond to it. In doing so, it ends up taking the social and political temperature of the time and place in which it's created.

As such, it's very, very common for scholars to analyze sci-fi media through this lens; even Frankenstein, arguably the first science fiction novel ever written, is often interpreted as reflecting cultural fears regarding swiftly advancing science and technology during the early stages of the industrial revolution. The Day The Earth Stood Still (1951) is another great, very blatant example of how sci-fi and politics can interact. In this movie, a Jesus-like alien ascends to Earth during the Cold War to warn the human race about their imminent nuclear annihilation. It seems corny to us now, but it's actually a great movie and I would highly reccomend it. It's rumored that the US Department of Defense read the script and Did Not Like It because the themes were too anti-war.

In other words, despite often being viewed as too “pop,” too goofy, and too unserious to have any deep meaning, pretty much any scifi story can be analyzed within an inch of its life using a meta social/political lens. It's not the only way to interpret sci-fi, but it's by far the most common. One must simply ask, “what does this vision of science, technology, and/or the future say about us as we are now?”

But anyway. Doctor Who. Disclaimer: I haven't watched the classic series so I'll focus on 2005 onward (still post-colonial so it still holds up, lol). If you've seen Classic and you'd like to chip in, please do.

Genre-wise, Doctor Who is more-or-less a space-western, a subgenre of sci-fi that incorporates Western elements—exploring new frontiers, engaging with unfamiliar civilizations, rogue figures, etc. Star Trek is the peak example of this, but there are many, many others.

Of course, the Western genre is dripping with colonialism due to its historical setting of the American West, and the racist depictions of Indigenous peoples. Space-westerns, consequently, also tend to address colonial topics. Sometimes space westerns are just as racist as normal westerns, but sometimes they use the genre reflexively, to question colonial ideals. A more progressive space-western might be more willing to “humanize” the alien cultures they meet, asking questions like, "how does one ethically engage with foreign societies?" or "When is it appropriate to intervene in a conflict?" etc.

Althought these kinds of questions come up regularly in Doctor Who, especially regarding its anti-war messaging (Time War etc.). These themes become doubly interesting when you use them to inform your interpretation of The Doctor, both as a character and as a symbol.

Consider this: The Doctor is the embodiment of an ancient and immensely powerful being with a bloody history. Their kill-count is quite literally somewhere in the quadrillions. Although they are a self-proclaimed pacifist, they are still constantly a perpetrator of death and destruction throughout the series. The Doctor, despite repeatedly and loudly choosing peace, can never seem to keep their hands clean of chaos and suffering. Doctor Who is about an entity that destroys everything they touch, sometimes on purpose, sometimes not. As an allegory for grappling with the legacy of British imperialism, I'd say it's pretty on the nose.

In this sense, not only is Doctor Who a show about colonialism, it is also a show about identity in the wake of colonialism. It's even in the name: "Doctor Who?" Who is the Doctor? What is their responsibility to the universe? What does it mean to be ancient and powerful and drenched in the blood of millions? How do they move on, become better, without falling into the same traps? What does it mean to be British?

These questions come up over and over throughout the new series, from the destruction of Gallifrey, to the Timelord Victorious, to A Good Man Goes to War, the Flux (arguably), and many, many other smaller plotlines I could mention. Even in the latest series with Ncuti Gatwa, the focus on adoption and family is in a similar vein—where does the Doctor come from? What does it even mean to be “from” a place? How much do your origins truly contribute to who you are and who you become?

How the companions fall within this framework is also interesting; if the Doctor is a stand-in for the nation as an entity, then the Doctor's companion, the everyday British person, is the stand-in for the populace. The companions are ever-changing, ever-evolving, constantly renegotiating their relationship with the Doctor. The companion's ultimate challenge is to find how they fit into the narrative of the Doctor's life, and try their best to come out the other end with a happy ending (ha).

Of course, Doctor Who is owned by the BBC, meaning it is quite literally nationally subsudized TV. It is all but directly approved by the British government. As a result, althought the show is actually VERY critical in some places, the Doctor is usually ultimately sympathetic; their good intentions tend to forgive a lot of the problems they've caused. The companion is usually charmed by the Doctors' seemingly endless tragedy of a life. This is a country's state-owned media company working with it's own self-image--it's inherently a work of self-reflection, and perhaps of self-obsession, too.

It would be easy to be cynical about Doctor Who as a product of the BBC, which is state-funded (but notably not owned or directly controlled by the government!). However, I tend to think that just writing it off as propaganda because of this is doing the show a disservice. Yes, there is an inherent privilege and self-centeredness to endlessly forgiving the Doctor, but that's also kind of the whole point; it's a show about coming to terms with one's horrible past. It's a show about learning to formulate a new sense of self. To demand that Doctor Who to be less self-obsessed, to not be about British identity when it is in fact a British show for Brits about Brits, is just a bit unrealistic.

Instead, I choose to believe that Doctor Who can and does use its privilege for good more often than not. The creators tend to be very progressive (as sci-fi so often is) and they can get away with a lot of very progressive messages in the guise of a silly sci-fi show for families. Most recently, I would point to s14e3: Boom, s14e5: Dot and Bubble as examples of thinly veiled rants about the evils of capitalism, war, racism, social media, etc. To ignore or dismiss Doctor Who because it has some form of institutional backing would be doing the actual stories and writers a disservice.

Finally, let me leave you with one last point; One consistancy throughout the new series that I find very charming is the positive effect the companions always have on the Doctor. Companions come and go, which is sad, but they're each special in their own little way, and they each change the Doctor, wearing them down a little at a time. The Doctor is consistently at their worst when they are alone, removed from the people that make them want to be better.

Very often the companion's parting message for the Doctor is "don't be alone.” This can be extrapolated to mean: don't forget we exist. Don't forget to be kind. Even if you can't help your legacy, even if you can't wash the blood off your hands, you can always keep striving to be better. Keep someone around to remind you to be better. And the Doctor, more often than not, does. Because ultimately it is the companions, us the people, that make the Doctor who they are.

It’s this special brand of relentless optimism, this indomitable belief in the goodness of people and the power of that goodness that always brings me back to Doctor Who, one way or another, despite all its flaws.

Edit 11/29: corrected some info about the BBC per the comments!

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vacantgodling · 5 months ago

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RE. ABOUT

WHO: REN (renjamin, rimz, vacant, lotus) writing as R.A.A

WHAT: he/him. black. queer. transmasc. 27. audhd rizz. libra (10/02)

WHERE: main/writeblr (here), rbs blog -> @babylonsfalling, discord -> @/vacantgodling (feel free to add me if we've talked), bluesky & ao3

LIKES: overwatch (derogatory. if i'm not on here i'm playing lol), digital art, history and mythology, names and etymology, anime (but i am particular about what i watch), kpop, vocaloid, jrock & visual kei, gothic lit, lotr, true crime and mysteries, wikidives about nonsense, bad movies, ... and probably more but i think that's enough of a list to get the gist

RE. WIPS

i have many wips and hundreds of characters. i talk about them all whenever inspo strikes. find more about them on my linked wip masterlist. however, the main wips i'm usually losing my mind about are:

PARAMOUR -> powerpoint intro || s: paramour

THE CHRONCILES OF LATHSBURY -> main crash course || origins of terrae || the first age pt. 1 || main plot ppt intro || s: tcol || tcol character tournament pt 2 || character intros

BETWIXT THUMB & FOREFINGER -> powerpoint intro || s: btaf

HE WHO SMITES THE SUN -> intro (coming eventually) || conlang intro (coming eventually) || s: ph

i am open for ask games of any sort or just general inquiries about my wips, and just talking in general.

to see a list of all my wips: CLICK ME!

RE. NAVIGATION

talking -> musings and personal thoughts

about renjamin -> insight to me / who i am

ren analysis -> when i get meta about my wips

ren mix -> a treasure trove of my music taste

ren polls -> any polls i make

ren reads -> for my ramblings and analysis as i try to get back into books

friends tag -> talking with friends or boosting my friends work

others work -> boosting other writeblrs work

hall of fame -> praise / things that make me happy that i want to keep

ren writing -> all of my writing in one place

ren poems -> all of my poems in one place

short stories tag -> micro or flash fiction bits and bobs

ren art -> all my art

q eh you eh -> queue

sex mention -> tag for any sexual content.

worldbuilding -> all of my worldbuilding notes across all my wips

ren hot cakes -> specifically for my overly opinionated opinions

to read -> others works that i need to get around to reading

rens ocs but sims -> for when i make my ocs in the sims lol

ren plays -> me talking about video games but it’s usually overwatch

ren is jopping on main -> for the rare occasions where i talk about kpop

character stats -> when i decide to compare and contrast my ocs to see trends

ren rabbit hole -> i like history and mythology and the ancient world and i Will ramble about it

ren fights linguistics -> i'm starting to try and conlang!! it will be hard!!

writing in review -> for my end of the year lookback at wtf i was doing writing wise that year :) usually done in november bc december is a bad month for me usually

#about renjamin #writeblr intro

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persephoneprice · 7 months ago

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maybe this is silly but — do you have any thoughts on lucy grays specifically appalachian identity? I often think abt how the films erased the cultural / geographical specificities of district 12 even though it’s literally so so important to the books (it’s mentioned on page 2 of the hunger games) and idk I think it’s very interesting/ kinda funny and iconic that in response to that erasure suzanne collins literally made a character whose cultural identity cannot be erased without significantly altering her narrative function. On a meta textual level it’s also an interesting echo to the Capitol erasing lucy gray and then her being restored by the author - kinda? Idk I’m a huge appalachian folk nerd (it’s why I read tbosas lol) so I. Think abt it a lot

omg no this is not silly at all and i am so excited that someone wants to talk about Appalachian culture in the hunger games!! usually i feel like i’m just yelling my appalachian nonsense into the void. ps i love that you’re an appalachian folk nerd- are you also appalachian??

also let me apologize in advance- i started a new anxiety medicine and have felt awful and have had a lot of brain fog so it’s very possible that none of this makes sense or is even what you’re asking.

i ended up rambling a lot so i will put my actual answer under the cut:

the erasure of all the really appalachian things- especially the accents- in the trilogy will always devastate me. which i why i will go to my death defending rachel zegler against anyone who criticizes her accent in tbosas.

i love lucy gray and the covey because you absolutely can see so much appalachian and bluegrass influence in them and their lives- but the book makes it clear that they aren’t really district 12, therefore, not really appalachian.

i think in a lot of ways lucy gray really embodies an appalachian girl. she’s fun and strong and willing to do whatever it takes to survive. she’s not afraid of the woods or the creatures in it- she makes friends with the snakes. she loves music (my girl needs a banjo i will die on that hill) and brings that to her people. their performances are one of the few times that people in 12 really get to be carefree and have fun and it brings everyone together. music is such an important thing in appalachian culture and is something that always brings people together.

she as a double name and it’s important to address her using both- which is also a fairly common thing in appalachian culture, it’s rude to only refer to them by one of the names. (which is why if someone only calls her lucy i do not take their opinion on her character seriously at all.)

you can also see it in the way the covey are a family without all being really related and the way the older members take care of the younger ones. in the way they spend time at the lake fishing and swimming and collecting food from around the area to eat. in the clothes they wear. in their music (nothing you can take from me boot stomping version my beloved).

but i think the distraction that they aren’t really from district 12 and not really appalachian is important. you can see that in the way lucy gray describes the covey as outsiders in district 12. i think this is another way that you really see the influence of appalachian culture in district 12. it doesn’t matter how many similar traits that they have or how long they have lived there- they’re still outsiders to the people who have lived there their whole lives. they still aren’t fully trusted by the wider community because they’re different and not from around here.

i’ll stop rambling now because i think my brain fog is causing this to not make any sense but anyway thank you so much for sending this!!! i love talking about this!!! i would love to hear your thoughts as well

#thank you so so so much for sending this!!!#asks #i love talking about appalachian culture in the hunger games #i love u for this #i’m sorry if it makes no sense blame the medicine #but please feel free to tell me your own thoughts i would love to hear them!!#lucy gray baird #the covey #appalachia #appalachian nonsense

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kitkat-the-muffin · 17 days ago

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Late screenshot dump/review for Cloutchase Vol 4!

Here are the previous three installments: [1][2][3]

Hey everybody! It's been a while, about 7 months since I've last been remotely active in this fanbase, but this past weekend I played Vol 4 with my friends and I am here to share my favorite screenshots! I will of course start this post off with some spoiler-free teasers to encourage others to play the game themselves!

And now it's time for the rambles!

This session was quite unique since I had two friends with me this time!

"Homestuck is too problematic lets to Danganronpa" oh I just know you guys put that in on purpose. I only ever saw the Danganronpa anime once but my friend immediately knew who they were going to dress up as and she was right haha

Honestly I love how Snapchat has a permanent dog filter on. My other friend who joined us today gave him the most perfect voice that I can barely attempt to describe. I called it "Irish-Canadian stoner" if that helps you imagine it

Backrooms reference *airhorns*!!!! It was kinda funny when TikTok just abandons the player in favor of egg theft, but what I think desperately needs to be talked about is the alleged missing lion man. Who is he? Where did he go? I have to know!

I spent a good 5 minutes rambling about Musical.ly's character design before I realized they're TikTok pre-transition. They look so fashionable tho! Can I get the raw files of these photos?

YOOOO VINE GETS NEW SPRITES!!!! I like how he's behind the times because he's been dead for a while haha

This is the best possible timeline I think

Tumblr looks FANTASTIC heck yeah

What did they mean by this?

Kinda love how Threads is a character and also kinda not a character. Design is peak tho

Get Gatsby'd! If I had a nickel for every time I was Gatsby'd this year I'd have two nickels-

Congrats on the gender! Genuinely though why did Twitter start looking infinitely more attractive to me after coming out as transfem? Like... she's so pretty now... but also exactly the same? Gender is a construct but holy cheese

I was literally trying to read the option choices and she cut me off ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff anyway hi Reddit. My friend had a surprisingly good Reddit voice (I'd describe it as incel meets gamer but less embarrassing somehow)

Old man Facebook! My friend had the WORST voice for Facebook... Imagine the creepiest old man asmr of your life

Kinda interesting that the Magical Girl sequence is part of the Bad Ending. My friends and I agreed that it was more of a Neutral End than a bad one. She looks great tho, I love the art in Instagram's route

Caught in 4k! This frame only appears for a split second haha

I really like how they characterized the creepy tracking of meta software this way. Instagram looks pleasant on the outside but underneath that top layer is a completely fake personality that covers another layer of invasive curiosity that covers another layer of genuine artistic enjoyment. That's so interesting! Anyway my friends and I started theorizing what the multicolored strings mean and we're stumped on the white bit between Amino and Kik-

I love Insta's photos, I like how they're physical polaroids. The logo on her bag is also the old Instagram logo! I need to see that full sized photo of Tumblr and Twitter tho-

Honestly didn't expect this ending but it's cute and I love it! Genuinely we should all be encouraged to post about our favorite simple pleasures rather than trying to appeal to the masses

Anyway before calling it a night we looked at some of the new bonus content (some of which is just stuff from the tumblr blog lol) and dang is Wikipedia so pretty in this screenshot

Actually my friend saw this next photo and said "he's just like me fr why don't I have that?" Honestly I can't wait for the Wikipedia route hahah

ANYWAY GET GATSBY'D FOR A THIRD TIME-

Or a second time if you aren't a Gravity Falls fan lol

Anyway, this volume was a lot of fun and I greatly enjoyed playing it! I like how TikTok's route had multiple activity choices and endings. It's kind of reminiscent of how much time you can accidentally waste on TikTok haha

Instagram's route being based on trying to maintain a level of perfection was interesting, as well as the Great Gatsby motifs. I laughed out loud when Waltz of the Flowers played because I'm hyperfixating on Princess Tutu rn and my friend is obsessed with Tchaikovsky so that was fun

Here's to the next volume! I can't wait to play it!

#cloutchase #socialstuck #socialstuck cloutchase #tiktok cloutchase #cloutchase tiktok #instagram cloutchase #cloutchase instagram #cloutchase vol 4 #cloutchase volume 4 #visual novel #friendsim #homestuck #tiktok #instagram

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becauseplot · 2 months ago

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90 Seconds to Midnight: An Ordem Paranormal AU Masterpost

Figured I should make one of these so I can keep track of my own posts lmao. Will be edited with new entries as they come but don't expect toooooo much content. Spoilers through OSNF finale and OPD 6. Asks are always open for the AU!

90 Seconds to Midnight is an AU where Thiago survives Santo Berço, but he doesn't quite escape the Symbol. After all, anything that is touched by Death cannot ever go back to the way it was. (Liz+Thiago-centric.)

FICS

Still Feel (Original fic where I made up the basic premise of how Thiago survives Santo Berço. This was written BEFORE I decided to make the AU angsty lol. You can definitely read this as standalone and pretend the rest of the AU's storyline doesn't exist.)

Inktordem Day 9 --- Morte (One-off I wrote for Inktordem. Towards the end of the AU's storyline. One of my reblogs on this post has extra meta info about it, but the explanation contains spoilers for OPD 19, so be warned!)

TUMBLR POSTS

Post 1 (Self-indulgent rambles and Liz and Thiago's living situation. Secret-third-thing Liz+Thiago my beloved.)

Post 2 (First explanation of how Thiago's situation starts to take a turn for the worse.)

Post 3 (How Thiago initially tries to cope with the nightmares.)

Post 4 (Toying with ideas concerning Thiago and Liz's entwined decent.)

Post 5 (Random thing I tagged for this AU that I think is still relevant enough to be worth mentioning.)

Post 6 (Ending of the AU's storyline.)

Post 7 (Epilogue!)

Post 8 (The entanglement of their love, their trauma, and paranormal influence.)

Post 9 (Another thing I tagged and see as relevant to the au.)

Post 10 (And ANOTHER thing I tagged that is SUPER relevant. In my opinion.)

Post 11 (Liz's nightmares. Can't believe I haven't talked about Liz's nightmares yet.)

OTHER STUFF

Some wonderful art made by the lovely @rabbit-harpist! Please go look at this it's amazing it's incredible I love it so so much.

HEY LOOK AT THAT I MADE A SPOTIFY PLAYLIST :D

#90 Seconds to Midnight AU #my writing #lizago #dont mind me im just rambling #im gonna make some other posts soon outlining the rest of the au's storyline plus epilogue #just u wait #writing fics for this au is difficult considering i have slightly different opinions on how their characters would behave now-#-than when i originally made this au. BUT i still love to add to it.#self indulgent AU is self indulgent ^-^#Spotify

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quaranmine · 9 months ago

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I know I already commented this on AO3 but I literally cant stop thinking about this fic and I so want to talk someone's ears off irl. Cuz holy fuck. I just absolutely the characterization in the story. The voice and expression of Grian is just so palpable and well-written. You sympathize for the guy even as he digs himself deeper into the abyss. Like, I know from the beginning, from playing Firewatch, that there is no conspiracy, just circumstances. But you understand where Grian is coming from, you hope that he is in some ways right, that Mumbo is still out there (doesnt help that Im a mumbo main lol). At some point, part of you just believe the conspiracy along with him even as everyone else, including the back of your own mind, tells you otherwise. And the other part wants to grab Grian from the other side of the screen and shake him til he realizes. That fucking dread of in some way knowing the ending just created that underlying layer of tension when reading. And, as someone else has pointed out, Grian's agency in his search for Mumbo being like denied somewhat fits in so well and just hits home that, nothing is really in his control, that its all just an accident. Its that gut-renching punch and realization that is stuck in my head after reading chapter 11. And im glad that chapter 12 presents some closure and breathing room. Its not the ending, but its an ending and a start. The melancholy of the last chapter, of Grian's acceptance and him finally meeting Scar. All of it is just, GOD. Anyways, excuse my ramblings, I love this fic and its genuinely one of the best Ive read. You did an amazing job.

THANK YOU!!!! I love this review of my work so much, as well as your AO3 review :)

I like that you bring out that having played Firewatch clued you in on the lack of conspiracy. I know the game's ending is controversial, but I actually like it a lot. I love the way the game makes you paranoid and how the remoteness of the setting reinforces that. I love how it's just a story about broken people running from their problems. Whenever I think about the game, I think about this Medium article I read (massive game spoilers.)

And so with this story, I didn't want to do the same thing as the game's plot, but I wanted to harness some of the same themes and explore them in my own way. I think the fic works well alongside the game because it sort of complements it, neither requiring prior game knowledge to read nor spoiling the game--but having game knowledge makes it even better.

I worked backwards knowing I was going to have an obvious ending. It's obvious because it's the most realistic option. But there is also an interesting extra level of writer-reader meta to play with, which is that nearly everyone is primed to sympathize with and believe the pov character. Everyone is also generally primed to expect better ending, or to expect that impossible will somehow happen because it's a fiction story. So I knew that readers would start off with a similar hope to Grian. And I knew that as the story went on further and further, I could direct readers toward the real conclusion. At some point, the very length of the fic itself and number of chapters left with make readers realize they're running out of time for things to happen. At some point, the reader is going have an objective picture of events and realize how irrational some of Grian's actions are.

I'm glad it worked to create a lot of tension! I also think the way a lot of other characters interact with Grian creates tension, because most of them are sort of "scared" to be direct with him since they know it'll upset him. And the way every one of Grian's actions keep adding and adding until the potential consequences grow greater and greater continue to add to the out-of-control feeling of this story. My goal for his character was always to keep pushing him to see where it led. It was a sad story to write, but it's a fun one to analyze for me.

I'm glad you liked chapter 12. I wanted it to try and resolve some of the things that needed to be said still, and provide a little bit of rest from the last three major action-filled chapters. The story is really 11 chapters of getting Grian to the first step in healing, and chapter 12 is that first step. It isn't the last one. Just the first.

Also my condolences for being a Mumbo main, I really need to get my blorbo rights revoked. I've been privately joking for the past year about fridging the poor man 😭mumbo ily i promise

#quara asks #hc_firewatch_au

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cosmos-dot-semicolon · 6 months ago

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(⭐fanfic writers' commentary)

@plutosoda hi

Ooh, time to reread my old writing, huh? Always a fun trip, especially given I'd totally forgotten like half of it including that repetition trick you'd mentioned…

fair warning, i only got like 3 asks for this thing so I'm gonna commentate on pretty much the entire fic here. This post never ends.

Here's an entire director's commentary on All-Nighter! Enjoy!

"The covers were warm… But at least it'd get something done before passing out again."

I'm still fond of this intro. I'm terrible with being succinct, but this is somewhere where my rambling writing style really works; this section is written from experience of many a 'stayed up too anxious now you can't sleep' nights, and someone who has read a lot of the techniques to fix that problem, then didn't (ADHD lol). That is in fact what my internal monologue tends to be like at night - a mix between recalling every single way you've ever learnt to pass out, worrying about what happens tomorrow, 'why is life like that. what did i do,' and just a pinch of 3am self loathing.

I never really thought of it until an AO3 commenter pointed it out, but it was a fairly natural way of worldbuilding/expositing/characterisation all in one go. Establish the premise of the fic, Robot only bothering to process things when it's on the brink of exhaustion, the way it's kinda obsessed with productivity and efficiency and self-improvement.

I'm proud of it!

Also I like to think Lady Luck only does the weird scheduling thing for Robot. She'd be the type of person to try and make the Dungeons a personalised hell for everybody.

“Hey, could I get a coffee, do you think? …I’ve been sleeping so badly down here.”

I'm quite happy with the intro to the next bit too. My goal going into most fanworks (still) is to emulate what drew me to the original story. In this case, that's Dicey's tone and dialogue, with a bit more direct focus on the characterisation of everyone. So this is sort of a meta plot device that signals all that to the reader. I love how efficient that is. also I just like throwbacks and references okay

"The canteen was a dense jumble of kichen counters…"

I could've been a little faster with this scene and Robot subsequently making the coffee. One of my weaknesses as a writer is that I hallucinate some of the scenes in my head, and try to write down everything in that instead of just drawing a comic (cough that one unpublished Ninjago fic). I'm a sucker for describing scenery for days on end.

That said, I'm really glad I got the vibe of 'light-blue-grey' morning over to you in your fanart. It was exactly what I was imagining as I was writing this.

"Pre-ground. …But this was just evil."

I think I'm funny. Anxiety cube can put up with a lot, but terrible coffee isn't it.

"They taste horrible compared to freshly ground beans. It’s not worth the convenience."

haha. because you see. that's its heart's desire *gets turned into a dice*

"Pouring a generous portion for its new friend, Robot masked its complaints with a long sigh." "…But thanks to the innovations of modern day life-” An overhead swig downed half the mug."

A commenter pointed out that some of my lines have really good flow in them between actions and characterisation. I didn't notice that until then, but I'm inclined to agree. Some of these drive in the point really well.

"At least its fellow patron was enjoying themselves – not even flinching at the concoction and savouring the coffee raw. It was tempted to start a commentary on how dark roasts were overrated, but soon became a little more concerned about them drinking through the 100 centigrade burns. This place had quite the collection of creatures, it seemed."

I like to think Robot's a little snobby about the things it enjoys. I like to think Lady Luck tries to throw people off as much as possible.

"So, how’s the self-improvement going?" they started. "I only want top quality minions in my dungeons."

Very fun fact is that I was worried about spoiling the twist in this fic because of this line being so blatant, but I wanted to put it in anyway because it's a good character-establishing moment, and a good… re-interpretation of the line in another context? I love recontextualising canon in a slightly different way that still works for the characters in question. it's so fun

Anyways. Turns out I didn't need to worry about that because at least one reader totally missed this too so got hit with the full twist anyways. Isn't writing great?

"So, what’s keeping you up this late?” they asked. “Nightmares? A looming sense of regret and existential dread? Unfinished essays due tomorrow morning?"

essays due tomorrow morning. haha so true. i'm glad I don't take much coursework nowadays.

"You know, as useless as it looks, sleep’s rather important for you folks. It’s how you deal with all the terrible things that happen during the day, since your brain can just wipe the slate clean and try again. But funnily enough, it’s always the first thing that’s left behind whenever someone wants to better themself." "Life’s painful enough as it is. Why not change things up if your current routines aren’t working?" "Nobody ever plays the cards they’re dealt perfectly, dear… Time always slips you by when you’re not paying attention. And nobody ever knows what’s coming next. You’ve just got to learn when to raise and fold them." "Well, part of being human is never being a hundred-and-one percent efficient. If you folks still count yourself as that. I’d apologise but I remember you were quite nonchalant about your little transformation anyways."

One of the main points of this fic was that while Lady Luck is blatantly on the offensive and absolutely insulting Robot to its core, she's not technically… wrong?

It's not bad advice. Lady Luck, in-game, seems very perceptive of the various insecurities mortals go through. And I like to think she does start this conversation just for genuine fun, to pick someone apart. See if they bounce back against it or just crumble. It's just a bonus that the recipient finds it harder to refute her offers afterwards.

"It might!" it snapped back, getting them to at least try and contain their mockery under a silent, wavering smirk. "You know what? I think it will be, I can feel it!"

Robot sort of does both. It's definitely very very anxious. But it's stubborn. I really like that about its character: how there's a contrast between its organised and disorganised sides? How robots are usually associated with hard numbers and calculations, but Robot's mechanic is blackjack. also it's SO autism/adhd coded. listen. in this

I don't know if there's a trope to call either of these, but they're my favourite things about both characters, and they're surprisingly introspective for a game so short on story. (I will write more about that in another post. lol).

It's a bit indulgent in how long it goes on in some areas, but eh. It works for the fic's pacing.

"The figure leaned forward to highlight its obvious obliviousness…" "I thought you were supposed to be the overly organisational optimist."

I love alliteration. yippee!

"A gentle chuckle filled the air, restrained from its usual projecting echo. "You wound me, Robot. Games are always more fun when your players at least get the chance to try and fight back."

I like to think Lady Luck's main motivation is entertainment. Which mostly involves watching people suffer. But I think it's in the spirit of luck to have it so that someone's downfall was their choice. Determinism versus free will and whatever.

The chance that somebody could escape makes things spicier. And makes it sting all the more for all those that didn't. Hooray!!

Also given Lady Luck's usual loud persona, I planned (plan) on giving her quite a few more subtle but equally threatening moments in this series. It's a thing that wouldn't really work well in the actual game, but it does in a slower medium like writing, and I fucking love that trope.

"Statistically unlikely, but I’ll humour it," she commented to an invisible aside."

You should picture this scene as her directly staring at you through the fourth wall. Like in a sitcom.

"But it’s not so bad, being a minion… I’ve heard that’s about as stable as a job as you can get these days." "…though surprisingly she was not the worst boss it had had to deal with."

I always thought this line, used on Thief in-game, would've been an absolute killer on Robot. The job market is pretty fucking shit these days under capitalism and you would be lying if you said there aren't at least some parts of the Dungeons that seem better work-wise. Inclusivity, stable employment, accommodation.

Yeah, you have no freedom, but that's also the goal of capitalism up here as well. At least in Dicey it's ridculous and ironic. And you'd get to use your degree in maths/statistics/acounting etc to its full extent! Can you fucking imagine the paperwork for a game-show/dungeon hybrid business.

"But then again, I think you’re plenty used to the grind."

I believe this was an unintentional-turned-intentional coffee pun. Boooooo

"Funny how they think that’ll discourage anybody. …Folks hear that the house always wins and immediately think they’ll be the exception."

She would be the one to know that. This was intended as a followup to Robot's entire argument before. I'm very happy that at least one person picked up on that :D

"So whatever you pick, it'll be a decision from Robot alone, no matter what your mind or body drags you into afterward.”

I believe this was also supposed to be a callback, but the wording got changed slightly. I think it was the "It feels like my mind and body won’t stop working against me" bit.

"Normally, Robot would’ve stayed to socialise and make new friends, and in all likelihood, skipping breakfast would leave it starving later on in the day. But right now, it needed some time to itself: to think and recover and remember where it was going with this."

This was another callback (that actually made it into the story). Robot immediately making another bad decision after the first, with the exact same words echoing it coming.

"Just another day in the dungeons. It could handle this."

I wanted the ending to be very short and open-ended, in that it was up to you to interpret whether Robot took the offer or not, and when. But regardless I wanted it to be like a regular intro to an episode, but with the hint something definitely fucking changed that the audience can only speculate on.

…oof. 80 minutes on this essay. My poor neck. I think that's it for now, though.

Overall I'm really happy with this piece - hence why it's one of the few things I actually put online. It's three years old, and I could've fixed the flow in some bits (there's one part where I think Robot answers a different question than was asked).

But I achieved pretty much everything I wanted to say in this piece of fanwork, it pushed me to think about characterisation a lot and my writing and editing techniques. There's a lot of neat little things I put into it, and it really got me to grips with what I liked about my inspiration in the first place.

I think that's an exercise worth trying for every fan-work creator. Stretches you brain. Almost lets you re-experience what you loved about a thing years later. Points you towards your possible future diagnoses. It's a fun time!

#asks #(not technically but still.)#plutosoda #fixing the dice #dots dots dots #⭐

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32bitterra · 8 months ago

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Kirby & The Amazing Mirror turns 20 today. I drew a little something to commemorate it.

Sentimental old person rambling under the cut.

Amazing Mirror is my favorite video game, and it is one of my earliest video game memories. I played it before my sister was born, and before I could even READ. I distinctly remember calling it "Rock Hat Game" (referring to the stone ability) before my mother corrected me. For those unaware, the unique thing about this Kirby game is that the game lets you explore the Mirror World and beat the bosses in whichever order you want. This game was full of mystery to me as a child. This was before I had internet so I couldn't just look anything up. I was always wondering what I would find next. I spent HOURS trying to find rooms I hadn't been in yet, believing they held the most incredible secrets (a child's imagination is very powerful.) I believe I got my first glimpses of the final boss when I was around five or six years old. I remember Dark Meta Knight frightened me because of how fast he moved, but I loved the music that played when you fought him, so I'd leave the game paused just to hear it (too frightened to unpause it or else Dark Meta Knight would whoop my ass lol. Does anyone else remember holding the GBA speaker up to your ear to hear the music? I remember listening to the Candy Constellation theme like this.) Something this game is infamous for are the NUMEROUS times you have to beat the final boss, Dark Mind. I managed to get to his second-to-last phase, the giant eye, when I was six or seven or so. If I had to beat his first form four times, I wondered just how far it would go. I distinctly remember having a dream that some sort of mouse boss emerged from the eye (funnily enough, I got Squeak Squad for Christmas when I was nine.) I beat Amazing Mirror when I was eight years old. It was a Friday afternoon, and I was so excited to finally beat the game that my legs went numb lol. Fast forward a little to when I was twelve or so, I started trying to get 100% completion. This involves entering every room and getting every treasure. I know this game like the back of my hand now. When I was thirteen, I wanted to see how quickly I could beat it after watching speedruns. I can beat it 100% pretty quickly now. It's a game I like to play for my friends because I can beat it quickly and without dying.

The drawing above hardly begins to fully encapsulate how much I love the game, and I struggled trying to think of a drawing that could truly show my appreciation. In the end, I went for something rather simple. Emerald is my favorite spray paint color, but if you asked younger-me, I would have answered "Ocean." I was totally obsessed with finding all the spray paint colors, and I remember turning the game off and on to switch the colors to see how they'd look with the UFO ability. If anyone has read this far, tell me what your favorite spray paint color in Amazing Mirror is in the tags if you'd like! Also, the level backgrounds are absolutely beautiful in this game. They look like paintings, and I wonder if any high quality, non-GBA-compressed versions exist. The light blue Peppermint Palace background is my favorite (it's also my header.) Let me know what your favorite level and/or level background is as well. I'm gonna wrap this up because I've went on for too long blurting my guts out over a GBA game. I still feel like I've barely scratched the surface about all I love about this game. I will not be making this kind of long-winded rambling a habit though lol.

#kirby #kirby and the amazing mirror #happy 20th anniversary to this game #that feels weird to say this isnt right it cant be 20 noo that means im old #this uses colors only from the emerald kirby palette #beyond doodles #2024

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xoxoemynn · 8 months ago

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hey marianne tell us about the wip you're most excited about in as much detail as you want

HOO BOY WOULD I LOVE TO. And I have yet to consolidate this into an elevator pitch so it'll definitely be long. It started off as an Old Hollywood/Broadway AU and now has spiraled into what I'd say most simply is a dimension travel AU that's also a bit of a meta commentary on OFMD's cancellation.

I'll put it under a cut because this DID actually get annoyingly long.

OKAY SO. We have 1990s Ed. He's a legendary Broadway performer known mostly as a dancer but he's been getting a bit sick of it, but also doesn't know what he'd want to do next since he's still relatively young. He keeps putting it off until he injures his knee in a show and can no longer dance, and now he's forced to actually figure out what he's going to do next.

While he's depressed and recovering, he passes the time watching old black and white musicals. He discovers the dance team of Stede Bonnet and Mary Allamby (loosely inspired by Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers, who were baby's first hyperfixation as a pre-teen, making this a VERY exciting project for me personally) and is immediately in awe of Stede, although surprised he's never heard of him before.

Through some hand-waving, Ed eventually realizes he's able to talk to Stede through the TV, and then later that he's actually able to enter the TV itself and exist in Stede's world. Except it's not just the 1930s. Stede's literally been living in a kind of grayscale purgatory that looks like his film sets. He has no concept of the passage of time, or even exactly what happened that caused him to be stuck there, and he's the only real person existing there, until Ed shows up.

Naturally they quickly fall in love, but they have a bit of a star-crossed lovers thing going on because they can't FULLY be together, and they also have different wants in life. For Ed, he LOVES being in this black and white world. He's in love with Stede, his knee doesn't bother him there, he gets to explore these really cool art deco film sets, he doesn't have to think about what he's going to do with his life. He gets to just be happy. For him, being in a black and white world cut off from everyone else but Stede is a small and worthy sacrifice for all that.

But Stede's been trapped there for 60 years with no sign of escape, and he misses being in the real world. He loves having Ed there and loves Ed, but he also wonders what else is out there. He misses being out in the real world and seeing everything in color and experiencing life off a Hollywood film set that was specifically designed to be entirely escapist for filmgoers looking to get away from their problems during the Great Depression.

So the bulk of the story is about Ed and Stede navigating their relationship and how they can really be together, as well as uncovering what happened to Stede in the first place that caused him to be trapped. It's got big themes of authenticity, acceptance, the temptation of avoidance, and being comfortable in the unknown. Influences that have wormed their way in include The Giver, Pleasantville, The Red Shoes, Barbie (lol), The Haunting of Hill House, Zaslav being a fuckhead, and an experimental art film called The Afterlight. It's taken me a LONG time to plan it because the world-building was really complex and there were a ton of little nuances to sort out, but I'm finally in a good place to really start writing it. I'm very excited because there are at least two REALLY sad scenes in it that I am 😈 about. But DEFINITELY a happy ending with a huge thread of hope running throughout, and is ultimately about creating a life for yourself where you can be your most authentic self, as terrifying as that may be.

THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME AN EXCUSE TO RAMBLE I LOVE YOU. 💕

#ask #fakestgeekboy #I have been ITCHING to find a way to blend my current pirate hyperfixation with my OG old Hollywood hyperfixation #and naturally I couldn't make it easy #but I am VERY excited about it

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blackjackkent · 4 months ago

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@thedarkstrategist replied to your post “Rakha, being the genius at extrapolation that she...”:

Im interested to see what you mean about rahkas core arc given your tags 👀

All right, all right, you talked me into rambling about it. (Clearly really had to twist my arm. XD )

Rakha meta/rambling/pontificating under the cut. (Basically just thinking out loud about her recent decisions lol.)

I've already spoken a bit about how I've gotten fascinated, over time, by the fact that Rakha is kind of semi-addicted to the guardian's presence (and to anything that turns off the battle in her brain for a while). And that I realized that this would probably mean she would choose to trust the Emperor much more readily than Hector did, up to and including consuming the Astral Tadpole, despite signs to the contrary.

And we've talked a little bit as well about how the experience of the Dark Urge operates, in one interpretation, as a metaphor for the experience of living with obsessive-compulsive disorder and the internal struggle that goes along with that.

As a result, I'm starting to see her interaction with the guardian/Emperor as basically a really unhealthy coping mechanism, where yeah it makes you feel better, but it's kind of its own sort of compulsion and dependence and doesn't really solve the underlying problems. I have a ton of my own share of experiences with this sort of thing.

And so I think ultimately I'm starting to see Rakha's story as being the process of not only struggling with the Urge itself but also struggling with the ways she handles it and actually finding a sense of herself and her own strength rather than depending on the external "quick fixes" of the guardian/Emperor, or the Astral Tadpole, or tbh even sometimes Wyll.

Obviously there's a lot of the game left and maybe things will veer off this path. But that's sort of how I'm thinking about it right now.

Hard to say what this is going to end up meaning for the end of the game. At this point I'm making no assumptions.

Sadly I can't just tell Rakha to go to therapy, which I can also say, speaking from experience, helps a LOT more than eating an alien brainworm. :P

#thedarkstrategist #bjk plays bg3 durge #rakha the dark urge #just thinking out loud lol #hopefully this makes any sense XD

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aihoshiino · 1 year ago

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quick heads up for canon typical discussions of sex & underage sex specifically in this post

not necessarily a meta so much as a general ramble (<- shout out to the me of 1 Hour Ago who started typing an Ai post sincerely believing this would be true), but an aspect of Ai's character I'm always really sort of fascinated and saddened by that the text (understandably) doesn't as much go into is her fucked up relationship with her own sexuality. the consistency with which she refers to herself as 'dirty' specifically sticks out to me a huge amount and it reads so strongly to me as Ai perceiving herself as being dirty/impure or somehow Bad for being like... an person with healthy sexual desires and a sex drive.

there's a lot of subtext-adjacent stuff to suggest the twins' dad wasn't her first sexual partner and i do think that's the interpretation that both interests me the most and makes the most sense to me - I don't imagine a girl who wasn't taught what a door chain was for was given the best sex education - to imagine Ai, lonely and unsure of how to connect with people, stumbling into intimacy too quick as a stopgap or a shortcut to the thing she really wanted; warmth, affection, love.

is this necessarily Good Or Healthy? no, but it's also not the shameful, dirty thing that the idol culture's obsession with purity has led her to believe. it's just another way the environment she's in has forced this impression on her that her normal, achingly human problems are things she has to cover up and hide like dark secrets.

i also don't think the ways she was subjected to constant objectification and misogyny as she grew up can be discounted as influences here, either. B-Komachi is specifically identified in Viewpoint B as "[...]a group focused on romance above all else", "[...]promoting that sort of intense romantic fixation...". Specifically, the word gachikoi is used in Japanese, which is used to describe fans with intense and explicitly romantic fixations with the object of their fandom.

Ai was twelve years old when B-Komachi debuted and was being sold to and evaluated as an object of romantic (and implicitly, sexual) desire by adult men old enough to be her fucking father. At the same time, it was drilled into her that she was expected to be eternally pure, eternally available, eternally loving, eternally virginial and to never betray those fans. Is it any wonder that she ended up with such a completely fucked up relationship to her own body and sexual desires that she was apologizing for them with her dying breaths to a man who had just murdered her for having them?

i don't really have a closing argument for this post honestly lol just. whoof! ai really is so endlessly sad and fascinating to me. every time i rotate her a bit i find some new facet to her character that i can spend hours turning over in my head.

#oshi no ko #oshi no posting #hoshino ai #ai hoshino #shout out to silvie for joining me in the blorbo brainrot mines #our oshi no chats about this topic were very helpful in helping me solidify and articulate my feelings as expressed in ^ this post ^#hoshino ai should be able to kick people in the ankle at full force and then get laid with very nice boy who is kind to her #in whatever order she would prefer those things to happen

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vacantgodling · 2 months ago

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some meta shit about timeline and gender

started poking this idea yesterday when i was explaining this to my partner but ph’s cultural concept of gender is broken into 4 (technically there is a secret fifth one) parts: higher feminine, higher masculine, lower feminine, lower masculine, and then god*

god* is the secret fifth gender because in their society does not refer to “god” as a single entity, or a triumvirate like Galeré’s Shepherd/Savior/Judge. to the Kajengans/Kajegans (i can’t decide which i prefer), being the birthplace of what we call magic in this world (and the origin point of witches in Alizath), their concept of nature and magic and the alive “universal energy” around them is “god”. “god” to them is a force, and cannot be gendered. to be degendered in their society is to claim that you Are this universal force—and that’s just. not a thing lol.

this isn’t to say that people don’t have complex gender identities—no. it’s just similar to societies such as ours that have extremely gendered languages and cultures; you exist anyway and find your own workarounds. i should also mention that, chronologically, Smite’s story takes place hundreds, if not thousands (guess who hasn’t decided) of years before Paramour+The Fall of Galeré series as a whole to account for Galeré’s technological advancement lol.

n e w a y tho—higher feminine (kori) and higher masculine (iri) refer to several things.

the blood of the person in question: ie, is it “royal” or “common”. royal blood, unsurprisingly is found in the leaders of any tribe or clan, as well as any of the more well off and nobility. (though they’d use different terms and it’s not necessarily in the way we think of royalty given this is a nomadic/steppe adjacent culture but i haven’t gotten into the weeds of that yet)

the “attunement” to god*. or basically; higher feminine and higher masculine people have a slight affinity for magic—not as developed as later cultures (ie: Alizath’s witches for instance)

and then a third thing i haven’t thought of yet that is more around their determination of gender bc i don’t really want it to be associated with the biology of the situation but i have yet to decide or figure out other determining factors.

and lower feminine (suffix -ko)/lower masculine (suffix -i) are just pretty much not the first two, but all determined by the third thing i haven’t decided yet.

i do know on his journey to save song, as smite is more exposed to both being alone and away from his clan/tribe and begins to experiment and understand his own gender, that he is Also going to run into others: other clans sure, but also, those who live as outcasts in their society. haven’t decided on who he/they are yet specifically but ik smite is going to meet someone i’m currently placeholder naming “bird” but he’s interesting because in a traditional name bird+(gendered suffix) is how you’d name someone; as it’s seen as an affront to god* to not gender yourself p much. however, he/they obviously don’t view things like that and live on their own in the wilds bc of this and other reasons 🤷🏽‍♂️

also ALSO last thing, the northern band that still is from is much looser with their idea of gender Because the north is where “magic” is thought to have originated from and they have a higher attunement to god* (aka ability to actually Use magic versus being attuned to it) so the concept of lacking gender/nb/third gender originates from the northern band and spreads south eventually into regions like galeré and alizath :)

finally finally the end of this ramble is ig this giant northernmost steppe has a name kinda which is whenever i decide if this place is called kajenga or kajega 🤷🏽‍♂️🤷🏽‍♂️

#if you read all of this ur great lol #this is just #rambling #really #s: ph #ren fights linguistics #worldbuilding

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