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this-is-captain-handsome · 1 year ago
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I reached the 30 tag limit LMAOO
Hi! I saw on one of your posts you said that you used to be a stucky shipper. I actually started off as a stony shipper but then absolutely fell in love with stucky but I like both . I was just wondering what made you "jump ship" on stucky lol. Sorry if this comes across as annoying or anything im just curious!
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Hey! As you can see a couple of people have asked me this over the last couple of weeks and I’m really lazy and haven’t got around to responding yet, but the people deserve an answer so here we go. Before we start a quick disclaimer: I’ll only be talking about the ships themselves, not the communities or any of the discourse surrounding them. This is not a ship-bashing of any kind and please do not take it as such, it’s just my own personal experience surrounding these characters and these relationships. 
 Buckle your seatbelts kids, this is a long one.
I first got into Marvel c. 2015. I’m European so I’d never really watched any marvel movies before that, I watched Age of Ultron on a plane and remember being vaguely aware the Steve/Tony was a thing (what is pretty interesting is that to this day I have no clue where that knowledge came from) but was mostly just excited by the superhero stuff. I then got home and watched The Winter Soldier and fell in love. I love the Winter Soldier, it’s probably still one of my favourite marvel movies (it got kicked out of its top spot by Black Panther last year unfortunately) and to me no other marvel movie could hold a torch to it at the time. So I came onto tumblr, searched up The Winter Soldier and was just inundated with Stucky stuff, as expected. I rolled with it, got invested just from constant exposure (it was also around the height of the Stucky ship) and as far as I was concerned, that was that. I was super into Stucky for almost six months and was pretty much your average shipper, I didn’t understand stevetony, loved Steve Rogers, was close to creating a Stucky sideblog wit some ridiculous pun as my username, I was gone over this ship.
Then one day, I sat down and read the man on the bridge by boopboop on ao3. You’ve almost definitely heard of it, but it was the most popular fic in the Steve/Bucky tag on ao3 at the time (for some reason I had just never got around to reading it until then, it was long and I didn’t have the stamina I have now). It was your pretty standard Stucky fic, Steve gets Bucky back, they have to deal with his trauma which results in Steve and Bucky declaring their long lost love for each other etc. etc. What was different about this fic, was that it was all told from Tony’s point of view, and since Steve and Tony were on the same team at that point, their dynamic was a huge part of the fic. And I found myself falling completely in love with Steve and Tony’s dynamic. I went back to the fic for this post (and god it is a good fic) and pulled up the first couple of chapters and instantly just found so many instances of that dynamic
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(grade A stevetony arguing over each other’s safety with a side of flirting from Tony)
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(Idk why but the image of Steve and Tony not going to sleep, but rather staying up and brewing coffee together was such a vivid one when I first read this fic, I still remember it to this day. )
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(Tony picking Steve flowers while trying to desperately play off that he didn’t aka. Tony caring while trying desperately not to care)
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(Everyone knowing that Steve would definitely come to Tony, apart from Tony himself.)
Now obviously, this is a stucky fic and I went into it knowing this, but I found when Steve and Bucky finally got together I felt honestly a bit bored, a bit cheated. I had no idea why at the time. I remember very clearly x-ing out of the fic at the end and feeling really uneasy, I came onto tumblr, went straight back into the Stucky tag and all was well.
When I next went back onto ao3, I started out with a couple of oneshots in the Stucky tag, but for some reason it wasn’t working for me anymore. I remember sitting there, a little bored, not at all invested in this relationship and just missing something. I figured I was probably missing Tony’s presence in the fic and so filtered in Tony Stark’s character tag. I read a few of those and all was well but I realised the same thing was happening as had happened in man on the bridge, the moment that Steve and Bucky got together, the fic lost something for me. Desperate at this point, and a little annoyed at myself I conducted an experiment and went into the Steve/Tony tag on Ao3 and as they say, the rest is history. If you go onto older posts on my main blog there’s a pretty drastic, almost overnight shift c. January 2016. I have to admit, I expected Civil War to be a conversion so I enjoyed stevetony without consequence for five months, while still labelling myself as a Stucky shipper because I expected to be pulled back to Stucky after civil war, the reality was that somehow I came out of civil war shipping stevetony harder than ever before. From there, I spent two years reading my way through the stevetony tag on ao3 and finally set up this blog in 2018, with a really obscure reference as my username and it’s been stevetony til I die ever since.
I just couldn’t read Stucky anymore. That’s what I mean when I say on this blog that stevetony has ruined me for every other ship, because it has. Steve and Tony’s firecracker dynamic pulled me away from what was fast on its way to becoming my favourite ship in 2015, all because they had a bit of banter on the side in a fic. It’s kind of depressing really, the sort of hold that Steve and Tony’s dynamic has over me, 
It’s strange you say you fell in love with Stucky, I fell absolutely out of love with it. I have thought a lot about how I ended up falling into stevetony and why I was so drawn to them instead of Stucky in the first place and I think it all comes down the the story itself. To me, Steve and Bucky’s relationship carries much more weight as a friendship, I still have no doubt that Bucky is one of if not the most important person in Steve’s life, but having that be a lifelong friendship is way more powerful and impactful to me, (especially since what I know I misconstrued to be Steve’s obsession with Bucky is actually Steve’s obsession over the past. I’m not saying Bucky isn’t dear to Steve and he does want to obviously rescue him, but looking back on it there’s more to Steve’s obsession with Bucky than just love, it’s a fear of change and it’s him desperately trying to hold onto a past that’s gone.)
Conversely, I feel like adding a romantic element to Steve and Tony’s relationship enriches the story being told, if you look at something like civil war (either MCU or 616 tbh) in the context of Tony being desperately in love with Steve, it makes a lot more sense, especially with things like The Confession in 616 or the stuff brought up in that strange conversation in the conference room in the MCU. There’s lines from Steve like “I’m home/you gave me a home” or even straight up “he loved you” and his tormented behaviour throughout infinity war and endgame that just really makes you wonder, not to mention lines from others like “you two still gazing into each other’s eyes/sounds like both of you got into bed with the wrong people” and they did have to share a bed at Clint’s farm after all lol. The tragedy of their story is heightened if you look at it through the context of them being absolutely in love with each other, just never having actually got around to telling it to each other’s faces. This tragedy is heavily implied in The Oath/The Confession in 616 when they confess their deepest darkest secrets to the other’s comatose/dead bodies, and apparently it’s always been that they love the other person. Actually you could easily introduce a romantic element by making relatively few changes to the MCU, but that’s a post for another time (I have a long and comprehensive list in my notes app on how little you actually need to change to make that happen, it’s literally the matter of a few lines of dialogue and one major story change at the end of IM3, an interesting thought exercise to say the least).
Finally, there’s a quote that came up on my dash the day I made that fateful venture into the ao3 stevetony tag, “your soulmate isn’t someone who comes peacefully into your life. It is someone who makes you question things, changed your reality, somebody that marks a before and after in your life. It is not the human being everyone idealized, but an ordinary person, who managed to revolutionize your world in a second” to this day, it resonates so strongly with me about stevetony. It’s everything I love about this ship just compressed into a quote. 
So yeah it was basically a bunch of happy coincidences, but thank god it happened. As a writer, stevetony has taught me so much about character and dynamic, stuff that is honestly invaluable. When you have long fics that basically detail the day by day life of Steve and Tony post-civil war in rural Italy and consists of them sleeping, crying and working through their repressed feelings (looking at you @silkspectred ), it is the characters and their unique dynamic that drive the entirety of the story. Steve and Tony, in the hands of a compelling writer, can keep me hooked over a frankly embarrassing number of words. I still have a bit of a special place for Stucky in my heart really, it did start me out in marvel after all and it was one of my first ever ships, but your first love is only so good until you meet your true love, not to get all sappy but stevetony has completely destroyed my ability to ship anything else. I might get a bit flirtatious with some other ships, like sambucky (I still love Bucky, and I love Sam!), or the riverdale ships (beronica and jarchie or bust), or even the game of thrones crack ships (daensa til the day we die), but I’ll always come back to stevetony.
So yeah this escalated into a far longer post than I intended to make but I’ve never really spelled out on this blog how or why I ended up jumping Stucky to Stony when I know it’s usually the other way around. I guess it just comes down to stevetony catching me out when I least expected it, and never having let go of me since. 
#this is amazing I had a similar journey#I saw CATWS and was absolutely amazed#loved Buckys character and Steves whole story arc#soon after I went looking for fic about them#I started reading a few fics but I could never finish them#nothing to do with the writing#the fics themselves were beautiful and well written#I just couldn't get invested for some reason#so within the week I stopped trying#at this point I wouldn't have called myself a Marvel fan tho#apart from IM 1 and CATFA I hadn't seen any other movies prior#I saw CATWS around the end of 2015#I got curious and watched all of the other ones that were out (okay most)#by the time I got to AOU I was riveted to Steves and Tonys dynamic#I didnt see it as a ship then#I didn't realize when both were on screen was when I was the most excited#I knew if both were talking to each other#in the others space#it would be good#SOMETHING would happen something between them would just spark#start something in motion#they moved the narrative for me#a few months later I went to see CACW in theaters and was just#so impacted#I never would have thought their relationship would be on display like that#be the center of a movie my god#before this I had loved Steve already and his whole story arc like I said#related to him on some things#Tony tho? I loved his suits his armor I loved Iron Man the hero and thought Tony was interesting but never looked at him past the surface#cacw made me see Tony for the first time walking out of the theater I walked out a stevetony shipper and never looked back
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cemeterygrace · 2 months ago
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LADS IM PISSING MYSELF THERES RUMORS THAT WARPED IS COMING BACK NEXT YEAR FOR THE 30TH ANNIVERSARY
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sforzesco · 2 years ago
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WHAT DOOM FOR YOU?
back again with my Please Read The Thebaid Agenda! I adapted the ending of Book VII into a comic because oh boy. thoughts thoughts thoughts.
There is a horror in having yourself altered to such a degree where you are unrecognizable in your own self, to know that it is happening, to know that you should be dead and yet you are not. You have already seen the moment of your death!!!! (Stat. Theb. 3.537 – 47) There's a horror in knowing, and in it being treated as an act of love when it's really more like a violation. Amphiaraus is spared Creon's decree, but by falling into the underworld, it makes things worse on a cosmic scale.
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Statius' Thebaid Book VII, trans. Jane Wilson Joyce
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Statius and Virgil: The Thebaid and the Reinterpretation of the Aeneid, Randall T. Ganiban
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Statius' Thebaid and the Poetics of Civil War, Charles McNelis
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The Perils of Prophecy: Statius' Amphiaraus and His Literary Antecedents, E. Fantham
society6 | ko-fi | twitter (pillowfort, cohost) | deviantart
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arsenicflame · 2 months ago
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Bootblacking is my favourite kink to give Izzy, because of course this guy would get his rocks off doing precise, repetitive, manual labour. OF COURSE he gets off on what is essentially just another chore on his list.
#this is genuine btw#i think it fits his character so wonderfully#taking this time to relax & forget about everything else. to kneel at his lovers feet and fall into a sort of trance doing the same motion#over and over. the satisfaction of a task well done.#i also think he often struggles to calm his brain down- too busy thinking about what still needs doing and what could go wrong-#so he finds it hard to allow himself the time to truly relax. something like bootblacking lets him feel like hes doing something while also#getting to have that moment of peace he so desperately needs#nyxtalks#ofmd#our flag means death#izzy hands#israel hands#nsft#a little. mostly to be safeeeeee#thinking about ed tricking him into it when they were younger- after they got their own ship they stopped having time to be kids#and izzy got so anxious about the whole deal. its not that he pulled away from ed; hes still just as present as ever when ed wants him#but he never sits in the captains cabin in the evening. he never stops. the second theres a moment of pause hes onto the next task#and eds boots do need dealing with. so ed frames it as something he needs izzy to do for him. sit there while ed works out their next move#the cabins only small so izzy takes the floor while ed works at the desk- better to keep the mess away from the maps anyway#and ed chatters as he thinks about where theyre going; just mindless noise that izzy doesnt need to really listen to.#and the brush is moving in his hands and its calm and. his brain goes quiet for the first time in months#(ed notices this obviously)#(hes gonna start making izzy do this every couple months)#(this is the real reason he wears so much leather- gotta get a rota going!)
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gomacave · 6 months ago
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Draw req..... seph braiding her hair like aeriths.......
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(she has too much hair to put in one braid) what a good request my god anyways. time to feel unwell about sephagain.
THANKS 4 DA ASK!
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artkaninchenbau · 1 year ago
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An AWS comic
#My art#For the record I am not a medical professional and as far as I know AWS isn't even something you can be diagnosed with???#It's so hard to describe what the two sensory hallucinations really *FEEL* like#Like the time one... You know how a dramatic slow motion scene looks like in an anime?#It's like that but if you made it a 60 fps interpolated version of it#It is an absolutely bizarre feeling#Meanwhile the hyper awareness and everything feeling intense feels like how a fisheye lens shot in an anime feels#No I could not be bothered to try to figure out how to draw that for this comic#For the record I haven't actually had those visual hallucinations since I was a small small child#Hell I don't even think I had any hallucinations in my teens at all like#The sensory ones just kinda started happening again in the past 7 years or so?#Also the swelling sensation I've only had once so far. Usually I get the hyper awareness sensation#(Also sometimes I get this intense feeling of swaying when I go to bed but that might not be an AWS thing??)#(Like there's other things that could make you feel like you're rocking on a boat when laying down so I didn't include that)#No I have never talked to anyone about these hallucinations because for the longest time I didn't know what they were#And they are like. Harmless. Like I'm 100% aware they're just strange sensations but not real at all#They last max 15 minutes if even that long and they happen like super rarely#Only once have I had the hyper awareness be SO INTENSE it made me feel distressed#So like. It doesn't really affect my life at all? So why bother with it?#Also IDK if I could even go to a doctor and ask about AWS and have them know what that even is#And even if I could as far as I know there is no treatment for it so like. Whatever#As long as I don't start having distressing hallucinations or visual hallucination's I'll be fiiiiiine
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evelili · 6 months ago
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As an immigrant child, your new fic had resonated with me. It made me tear up eating dinner with my family.
When Saffron said, “This selfish desperation to know that I haven’t lost my connection to my home." It instantly took me back to being constantly teased by my friends for not being 'in tuned' with my culture like how they were, or how I desperately tried speaking in my native tongue with my parents, despite having a very clear american accent and them constantly assuring me that speaking in english is fine. My grandmother had passed earlier this year, she was the grandparent that I knew the least. I started asking about her from her sisters as my mother isn't in the state to answer anything, I've tried so hard to pick up the pieces of what her sisters have told me to construct an image of her personality. She used to constantly ask me to call her so when I read about Saffron talking about how video calls have were never the same and never enough, it hit me like a load of bricks.
Your fanfiction is so tremendously beautiful in describing the feelings I have felt all my life. How I know that where I am right now isnt home, but my actual home has been so unfamiliar after my grandmothers passing. I have constantly felt like I have disappointed her, so when Sunset confessed to the same thing, I couldn't hold my emotions in anymore. The ending with Saffron talking about how she would be waiting for Sunset to come home if she was her mother made hope that was true with me and my grandmother, if I were to ever reunite with her again when I pass away myself.
Thank you so much for writing this story. It was the most comfortable yet intense stories I have ever had the blessing to read. I am sorry for rambling and I hope this entire message makes some sort of sense? I hope whatever you're dealing with gets solved to the way you have hoped it would.
You have also made me see dal in a new light, it was never a food that I used to like, but I am willing to give it another shot lol
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i looked at this ask earlier and had to take some time to process how to respond to this. i think tho i still dont really know how to, so i hope thats ok!
first of all, thank you so much for being comfortable enough to tell me ur story. it really means a lot that you would open up to me, a stranger, and the fact that you did so bc something i made had an impact on u quite actually moved me to tears. im a bit of a soggy mess rn lol. thank you again, truly.
second, i want to express my empathy for you and your situation with your grandmother. my grandad passed away before i could graduate, and it was during the height of lockdowns, so i hadnt seen him in a while. i didnt go to visit him in the hospital, so theres always this feeling of "what if i had called more? what if i had tried harder to visit? what if i spent more time with him?" that doesnt really go away. and, as a kid of 2 immigrant families, i can also really empathize with feeling a disconnect from your culture--when ur not surrounded by ur parents culture but u also visibly dont look like ur "from" the one u were raised in, it can feel really alienating, even though you havent done anything except just. exist in this sort of inbetween?
all of this i guess is to say that, i put a lot of my own experiences into this fic. and it's almost relieving in a way to know that u saw what i put there, and that this experience is something that other people have felt as well. thank you so very much again for reading ;v;
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maybe-boys-do-love · 4 months ago
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I am nothing if not a sucker for realistic-leaning explanatory depictions of workplace environments, and The Trainee is delivering such an incredible dish of it
And the fact that the show’s workplace setting is a video production company so there’s a whole meta aspect to everything!!! And the whole crew involved is clearly giving it their all, especially for a comedy!!! The lighting and cinematography is so much more decisive than GMMTV usually goes for. And there’s all these little fun editing touches. And the comedic scoring and sound effects that are a staple of Thai comedies are all mixed in with more finesse than we’re used to. Even after two episodes, it’s clearly such a labor of love for the people who worked on it ❤️
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And none of this is a criticism of the other style that we’ve been seeing. That other style is what got me excited to watch Thai BLs, but I would describe it as ‘theatrical’ whereas what the team is doing for The Trainee is ‘cinematic,’ which is just so perfect with the plot and setting.
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captainjimothy · 3 months ago
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spirk fucked on the shakedown cruise btw. IF you even care.............
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creations-by-chaosfay · 3 months ago
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Quick question about a quick quilt...
I can finish a lap size rag quilt in less than a week, twin size in about a week, queen size in two weeks. It's three layers of fabric, quilt-as-you-go, minimal piecing, and they are heavy. Excellent for cold weather and folks who like the weight of blankets but not weighted blankets.* These quilts aren't as hot as layers of fabric plus beads/pellets, and they breathe much more effectively. For a heavier rag quilt, it's a layer of denim and two layers of quilting cotton or flannel. I have a rag quilt for myself that's three layers of quilting cotton. My house is drafty and winters are full of rain, which means the cold sinks into your bones with the humidity. My husband keeps stealing my quilt because his man-cave is the coldest room in the house. He doesn't care that it's very feminine colors "because it's warm."
As for why it's called a rag quilt, here's a sample:
The top is the fluffy side with the exposed seams. Instead of a quarter inch seam allowance the seams under the fabric, it's a one inch seam allowance and the seams are exposed. Said seams are then cut at one inch intervals. With every washing, the seams get fuzzier and softer. They're fun to touch and feel really nice. It's also why these must be dried ALONE or all the strings will end up on whatever else is in the dryer. Three layers of fabric also means two rounds in the dryer on high heat (which is why I like using flannel rather than quilting cotton) or one round of high heat and hanging to dry for a couple hours.
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The back looks like a more traditional quilt top and is often the side with denim on it if denim is used. The one is three layers of flannel and was a giveaway prize earlier this year, to celebrate meeting a ko-fi goal.
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These are a delight to make and excellent for cold winters and drafty homes. Did I mention they're pretty heavy? The one I have, once all folded up, weighs about six pounds, and knocks my husband out within about ten minutes of him laying over himself. It's why I plan on making a rag quilt for him. He keeps stealing mine.
For context regarding prices, these take significantly less time to make. This one, a lap size, took just 14.5 hours, and that included the quilting. A traditional style baby quilt starts at $2125 because I have a lot more cutting and sewing, and I do the quilting by hand (though it will soon change due to soon having a machine I can use on my Cutie frame and do all my quilting on it), and can take 70-80 hours start to finish. I charge $27/hour + cost of materials to come to the final price.
*A PT I know hates weighted blankets because they cause a lot of injuries. People rolling in bed with a weighted blanket on them have ended up in physical therapy because of soft tissue tears. Most especially dangerous for people with EDS and other connective tissue conditions. Other injuries they've seen are from the pockets with the beads/pellets in them tearing open. Pets and small children have been known to choke on those, and folks who are heavy sleepers can also be injured if the pockets near their face tear in their sleep. When the beads/pellets get all over the floor, people fall and end up with serious injuries from that. Not to mention overheating under all of them because the material doesn't breathe well.
#quilt#sewing#handmade#artists on tumblr#commissions open#I need to pay off Cacoa's vet bills (totaling $1400) ASAP so I can hire a plumber before the wet season arrives. Then I can focus on paying#off one of our other debts that will start collecting interest in May 2025. Once those are paid off I can justify purchasing an#XBox Series X for myself and one for my husband. Dragon Age The Veilguard releases on Halloween. I have been looking forward to this#game for ten years. Dragon Age saved my life. When I was at my lowest I would remind myself I cannot play the next game if I'm dead.#I know it's unlikely I'll achieve the goal before Halloween and will just end up watching people play the game on Twitch. A girl can dream#though and this will be mine: pay off enough debt to afford the luxury of having a new console and new game.#Honestly? I have more than earned a long break after all the nearly non-stop quilt making I've done this year. A break is something I very#much need and want but cannot take until I receive at least $3k to cover the cost of Cacoa's bills the plumber and the debt.#I have over $8k worth of merchandise in my shop. Original paintings (two would cover Cacoa's bills the plumber and some of the other#debt) as well as quilts starting at coaster size and going up from there. New work will be added pretty much every week until my#new machine arrives and I begin practicing free motion quilting on it. The practice quilts will be sold at a steep discount and then I'll#really get into finishing quilts on the Cutie frame. The prices for all the quilts I would other finish by hand will drop because I can#get them done much more quickly. the larger quilts will be on the commission menu next year. after lots of practice first.
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dailybugsnax · 5 months ago
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day 1 - spuddy
(except i don't know how to draw foil and couldn't figure it out... so sticker version)
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emypony · 7 months ago
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sighs
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moe-broey · 7 months ago
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When it comes to horny art esp in FEH like. I'm always split between "I don't wanna be sex negative and prudish that's stupid" and "Okay but there IS a misogyny problem (specifically about how female characters are portrayed/treated)" and "I'm Sorry Women (I do like huge titties and stupid slutty outfits)" and "I'm a huge anatomy nerd and what's pissing me off the most are the shit proportions here actually"
^ This user is on the asexuality spectrum.
#i don't wanna start discourse about it LMFAOOO it's just. the motions i am constantly going through#i think there is a difference between official artwork that is essentially a product being sold to you#vs independent artists who regardless of it they're selling their art. somehow there's a difference there#like i think horny/fetish art is so fucking important and worth protecting/going to bat for#esp the joker voice Society. cannot fucking take myself seriously LMFAOO BUT#idk idk. head empty. there's probably something there though.#i'm just stuck on an endless loop about it whenever something like a loki incident happens LMFAOOOO#that said though if any feh artist gives sharena an extremely sexualized alt i WILL have to kill them in cold blood.#and then the loop keeps fucking going like. it needs to be tasteful. she can be attractive. but it needs to be tasteful#and then the loop KEEPS GOING. like ohhh are you adsigning morality to art?? I DON'T THINK SO?????#i'm just devastingly demisexual about everything like. i love loki's new alt bc all things considered#it suits her. you can argue about the merit of Creating A Chara like her. but like. grah another endless loop#but it would NOT suit sharena#she would be SO uncomfortable. she would probably be found in the bathroom crying about it.#and then there's more complicated situations like plumeria.#i think her ny alt suits her v well. she is the elegant type. i am going to kill whoever made her summer alt.#and that's coming from a guy who's FAVORITE ALTS. ARE THE SUMMER ALTS#idk idk. i am incomprehensible even to myself.
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syn4k · 1 year ago
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yo so since pix had that whole "beating minecraft dungeons without using any weapons" series, i like to think that in series like the survival guide cubitoriffs has hand wraps and stuff like that, especially during the early game. or like fingerless gloves or something like i've seen people draw for his esmp s2 design. in conclusion: give this man some cool ass gloves or glove adjacent things!!! he uses his hands a lot!
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longagoitwastuesday · 9 days ago
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The anime doesn't make justice to how utterly hot the Yakuza Fiancé protagonist is
#What was her name? Something related to cherry blossoms#Yoshino l think?#I think one of my fave things in the manga was the childhood friend having cherry blossoms tattooed because of her#Other than he 'shut up woman' page#Nuts cousin with the blood was fourth#Old man yaoi was third#I got really really into the grandfathers' romantic tension#and how it settles the base of the main characters' romantic relationship idk xD#I don't know if it sounds like a joke but for real the way the male protagonist is after the female protagonist#because of how his (alleged) grandfather talked about her grandfather was everything#And the flashbacks? How he says he's taken but he's talking about his friend? The way the other is a womaniser and most loyal to his friend#It kinda breaks your heart how the female character's grandfather is never as into the other as the male character's grandfather is into hi#And yet I love how he finds solace precisely in the existence of that person that was never quite as devoted#And how that solace that understanding that salvation from something akin to ontological loneliness or absolute alienation#(let me be I love this topic yes indeed. Sukuna and Gojo got me with this too) is what the male protagonist feels too#and the words of his grandfather about his friend are what put into motion his interest in the main protagonist#And thus why he initially feels let down. After all she isn't like him. There's no solace. But there is#And it's all the echo the iteration the repetition of the love his grandfather felt for hers and the understanding he felt bound them#Anyway I read the wrong manga by mistake looking for a meme in another one but it was way better and more interesting than I imagine#And I think of those two old men a lot haha one of the ships ever#I don't know how the thing went on I haven't read it ever since that day I got the wrong one almost a year ago#Yoshino Somei! That was her name lol#The childhood friend was also hot but I can't recall his name at all I won't even try#It started with an S I believe#Anyway I thought it was very interesting what the manga did with the protagonist#How the best outcome for her would be to leave it all behind if she could because she won't ever be regarded as an equal there#even by those who love her and she won't ever be entirely free. And yet how that may never be possible either way#And how the manga frames that even if she could how she could never be entirely understood outside that wrecked world#No one ever would quite get her and her experiences and her way of thinking and behaving as much as the people in that world do#How isolating and lonely that is. What weights more for her in the end? Where does she belong? Where she wants to be or where they get her?
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mars-ipan · 10 months ago
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GODDD.
#marzivents#to preface. i am SLIGHTLY buzzed. as in i have had a single mimosa almost an hour ago#today there has been a… weird??? energy with the family??#my mom and dad are on two different frequencies today but like they’re managing so whatever#my brother and i have been normal i suppose#but we’ve been all together for a little bit to celebrate the new uear and such#clock hits 12. we celebrate. everybody has One mimosa. not a lot at all#that buzz hits me and i’m hanging out. i’m feeling good!#my brother says something or other and we start the motions of one of our go-to sibling disagreements you know the type#and my mother cuts me off says like ‘let’s all relax’ or whatever. i didn’t feel that angry but like?? sure? fine whatever#we stop and i move on. once again not a huge deal to me#then my dad does smth or other. my mom’s been razzing him all day so i decide alright i will also razz him. a little lighthearted teasing#it is NOTHING different from what i normally do. just slightly more frequent#and my dad goes ‘i can’t have an opinion on anything huh?’ and i- committed to the bit- go ‘no <3’ with a smile on my face#like i am simply wanting to fuck around!! the way you do with friends! that is all i am doing!#i get in some other thing with my brother for like .2 seconds before my mom tells us to ‘stop fighting’ again. alright cool#this sort of thing continues. and the air in the room becomes super tense for some goddamn reason???#eventually my dad heads to the garage and my brother follows. while they’re gone my mom tells me i need to cool it and i’m being aggressive#i???? huh???? what???#i was gonna turn to HER and crack a joke like ‘how do you get them to understand that loud doesn’t mean angry?’#because that’s an issue SHE has all the damn time! i was gonna turn to her and bond! but she says that before i can even start to#so my attempt to ease the remaining tension in the room is dead on arrival. in fact the room is even TENSER#maybe it was the champagne or smth but it just fucking got to me. i shut up and turn away and start trying to collect myself#i’m realizing two things. 1- my emotions are less in my control right now and i cannot collect myself here. 2- I Need To Fucking Scream#so i silently pack up and head to my room. my mom knows better and asks no questions#as i was typing this post my brother walks in. i shoo him out without words but he tries to ask questions so i just repeat until he gets it#i feel fucking insane. what the fuck did i DO???? i literally was just fucking razzing. i do that all the time#and sure. i was louder. and yeah it was probably slightly more razzing than i normally would. but i DO NOT FUCKING GET how those two things#would cause as MUCH of a reaction as they did!!! like. i . hello???#the rest is in the replies bc i am out of tags but i am not out of feelings
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