#start fearing that it will bring me back to questioning /hj

[i-might-be-not-straight]

want partnering aspec representation. want to see it in media. want to read other people's experiences. see silly memes and casual chats about it. want

[la-rougo]

*SFW*-

Beelzebub x Chaotic Diety! GN Reader

I need to see how my boy will handle with this one

A/n: I am in LOVE with him, (bc he shares the same name w my big orange demon himbo main— and shares the same va with anasui!!!!) and fear not my friends, this is pure-

-FLUFF (maybe angst but mainly fluff idk)

You’re not really a new diety, more like you’re new to him

When he first met you he just ignores you

But with your silliness and no self awareness, you follow him and tries to be ‘friends’ with him

He didn’t care so he just let you be, when you ask him anything he just answers bluntly or ignores you

But you couldn’t stop leaving him alone, not only that but you also cause troubles around him (but not to him)

He started to feel annoyed but once he completely gives you full attention, he feels warmer

Even how much stupid stuffs you have done (including accidentally ruins his experiment which he almost kills you for that) he couldn’t help but likes your company

He starts to talk to you a little bit more everyday which already makes you head over heels

He feels admired by you and it makes him feels strange, he isn’t supposed to feel any kind of affection. At least that’s what he always thought

Of course you take notice about his oddly behavior so you question him about it

He panicked slightly when he realized that his weird feelings are starting to become obvious, so he starts to avoid from you as much as possible

It’s absolutely impossible for him to run away from you since you’re his biggest fan ig/hj

He knows the consequences if he doesn’t stop his feelings, but it’s hard for him. He can barely do anything without having you around him

You decided to maybe give him a little space, or hang out with him less. Once everything is settled, you asked him a question

“Why are you keep running away from me? Did i do anything wrong?”

You asked him and he stopped mid way through his walk

Beelzebub sighed, he turned slightly at you with the same empty expression

“Here’s a better question. Why do you keep following me?”

You gulped, it feels slightly suffocating, his question makes you turn your head away from him slightly. You’re not prepared for this question, not at all. You never really thought that he would ask this and just let you follow him but here they are.

“Because I like you?”

He look at you with a *pardon?* kind of face, you turn away completely. You’re sweating like hell

“What?”

“What?”

He sighs again, turning to walk away from you

“Wait- aren’t you going to answer me? Boi! Don’t turn your back on me!!”

You catch up on him with a little pout

“Now that you got your answer, it’s my question for you to answer now”

Beelzebub rolls his eyes and fastened his walk

“Nope”

And he’s running

“Beeellll!!!!!!”

Andddd you’re chasing him, you quickly catch up to him again and grab his arm gently

“Cmon, the question is not that hard to answer ya pussycat!”

“Will you just shut up”

“I will if you answer my question emo boy”

He sighs defeat, he doesn’t even want to talk to you about the harm that’s coming to you, he feels bad, he feels sick inside, he feels scared.

“I don’t want to hurt you”

You tilted your head slightly

“What?”

Then, beelzebub became curious. Can you help him out of his hellhole? he wonders if you might be the one

“Never mind, just ignore whatever had happened earlier”

You look at him with a very confused face, but shrugs it off when beelzebub continues his walk again

The more time has pass, more affection you give him. With also, the more his feelings had grown

He feels bad deeply, he knows one day he— no, satan will kill you if he can’t stop himself so he have to stay away from you as much as he can, but he couldn’t bring himself to do so

If you actually manage to survive or break satan’s curse though

My boy ain’t gonna hold back☹️

Saying beel is shocked is an understatement, bro is absolutely flabbergasted

You somehow managed to break his satan curse and he’s shitting tears fr

After that, he didn’t immediately shows affection. He just take his time to understand affections and loves more clearly after being free, but of course you help him with that

“Now that I’m free…”

Beelzebub place his hands on both sides of your shoulders to stare at you… intensely

“Uh… beel?” It’s kinda awkward and you couldn’t bring yourself to look at him so you just look away

“I hate how you make me feel”

You looked back at him and make a confused face

“What do you mean?”

Bros kinda frustrated ngl but he takes a deep breath and thinks abt what to say

“I… how do i say this. Hm… I uhh

— I love you”

Beel is dying inside how he managed to actually said that

“I love everything about you, i love how you make me feel loved, i love how you make me feel happy. Even if you never listen to me but that’s what i also love about you”

And he continues so on, you on the other hand is dying by his words. I absolutely think that beelzebub is not good with words but he’s trying

“I love you too beelz..”

You’re on the verge of crying out tears of happiness, after you two confessed beel hugs you tightly and you felt him crying in your shoulder

“Are you crying?”

“No.”

Beelzebub feel like the happiest man ngl, he finally got to love freely like other people do. Nothing can describe how happy he is

He doesn’t change much after the curse broke but he smiles a lot more when he’s with you and become slightly clingy

Once beel is used to being free he’ll just bomb you with affections, mainly actions cause we found lovely dovely words to be awkward for him

Of course you wouldn’t mind that, he’ll thought endlessly that he doesn’t deserve you but you shut him up

“You’re too kind… I don’t deserve you to have as a lover, I can’t have you… you deserve someone else better than me”

Beel said while burying his face in your shoulder from behind

“Oh shut up! You’re the best lover I could ever ask for, I love you with my whole heart and I won’t stop loving you even after death. So stop thinking like that and enjoy every moment of us, of course without thinking about that”

Beel lift his head up to stare at you with a deep sigh, you turn slightly to him and peck his cheeks. Beel can’t help but feel the corner of his lips lifted

He overthinks a lot even after his curse had disappeared, but you kept comforting him saying that there’s nothing to worry about and he should relax more, he used to think that he has fallen into the pit of despair, with nothing to lift him up. But once he’s with you, he feels the opposite of what he used to feel, he feels like he’s the happiest man ever

He loves you dearly and so do you

[m1d-45]

hidden blessings

summary: thoma takes you to the teahouse, but you two are interrupted. you don’t know whether it’s fortunate or not, but it will affect your trajectory within inazuma.

a/n: this one goes out to @shizunxie and @alexteea, who asked for a part two to small miracles. i now fear talking in the tags [/hj].

word count: ~2.1k

-> warnings: spoilers for inazuma archon quest, spoilers for ayato story quest, probably out of character ayato…. green tea?

-> lowercase intended!

taglist: @samarill

<< first part || < masterlist > || third part >>

komore teahouse is warm.

the moment the door opens, it’s the first thing you notice. the air smells of honey and spices, heated by some invisible fire. your hand is still in thoma’s, leading you behind him as he moves into the teahouse.

taroumaru sits up a little straighter on the counter as you two approach, but doesn’t seem on guard. strange, considering you’re not a member of the kamisatos, but since you have thoma with you…

“hey there taroumaru! is anybody here?”

the dog barks once. you don’t know what that means, but thoma seems satisfied, pulling you to one of the tea rooms.

“komore teahouse is owned and operated by the yashiro commission, so only those approved by the con can enter. whoever your hiding from-“ how did he know? “-can’t get in here, alright?”

he waves at a cushion and starts to fiddle with a tea set, lighting a small flame on the end of one of his fingers for the heating element. it’s strange to see such nonchalant usage of his vision… but wouldn’t that be normal here?

people with dendro visions selling herbs grown to order, hydro users automatically refilling their drinks, anemo wielders catching a dropped pen or paper before it hits the ground…

not for the first time, you wonder how you ended up in such a world.

“there! that should be ready soon. i’ve made you green tea, hope you don’t mind.”

you shake your head. even plain water would be fine to relieve the burn of salt on your tongue, and the fact that he went so far to make you tea when he barely knew you..

you lick your lips, “thank you.”

he waves it off with a laugh, sitting down himself. “oh, don’t worry about it. and please, save your breath, id hate for you to irritate your throat on my behalf.”

you swallow. salt stings. you’re quickly getting tired of the taste.

“that being said, i do have some questions, if you don’t mind. for starters, you are hiding from the shogunate, right?”

you pause, watching the fire flicker. yes, he’s with the yashiro commission, but he personally had to hide with yoimiya from the vision hunt decree, didn’t he?

you nod.

“thought so… well, the good news is that i can help you, but you have to tell me why they’re looking for you, alright?”

there it is. the fact that he went so long without asking why you were hiding is a testament to his character, but even he couldn’t trust fully when he’s so close to the kamisatos.

though, he did bring you into the teahouse…

“you stay here, and i’ll go get a notepad from the back room. if the tea’s done by then, feel free to pour yourself a cup!”

he stands up from his spot and exits the tearoom, hesitating for a moment in the doorway before undoing the string keeping the cover tied above the doorway. the mat rolls down smoothly, swaying, and you’re suddenly alone in the room.

though being ‘alone’ probably doesn’t apply in a tearoom belonging to the kamisato clan. you don’t remember seeing the girl at the front, nor have you heard the other two NPCs inside, but that must only mean there’s more security elsewhere.

and that the clan must have moved the prior personnel.

…like to hunt for the imposter running around teyvat.

no matter how kind they looked, they were still involved with the shogunate. there’s no way they haven’t heard of the situation, and have likely dispatched some of their best to find you.

and you’ve walked right into one of their bases.

suddenly the warmth in the room feels oppressive, the soft smell of green tea overwhelming. you shouldn’t have caved. you shouldn’t have agreed to come with thoma, shouldn’t have let his kindness pull at your bruised, beaten heart, you shouldn’t you shouldn’t you shouldn’t-

“-ot necessary, my lord, i-“

“-best for you. please, allow-“

words outside your room pull you from your thoughts, muffled by your heartbeat in your ears. it’s familiar but you don’t know why, footsteps and voices passing through the thin walls. three men are speaking, and are quickly approaching your room.

you tense, but settle for grabbing a spoon to try and soothe yourself. they won’t come in here, you tell yourself. you have to trust thoma.

the footsteps stop.

“is this the room?”

it’s not your room. it’s not. you’re safe in the teahouse. you have to be. thoma is on your side.

fingers fit between the mat and the floor, carefully curling the edge to roll it back up.

no.

three sets of shoes appear. two are dark, one dressier with a golden design on it, and the third are taller, heeled, with a buckle. the mat rolls higher, almost ridiculously slow, revealing details you struggle to place.

white pants. brown striped shorts. a black belt, a jacket lined with purple on the inside, yellow tassels and black gloves and you hate that you don’t know who it is.

the mat reaches the ceiling, hands you now recognize as thoma’s tying it back up.

to his side are two men. one is dressed simply, like the many NPCs around the city, and the other…

kamisato ayato.

his clothes are far simpler than his model, but he’s unmistakable. calculating lavender eyes, framed by deceptively soft eyeliner and baby blue bangs. the vision dangling off his hip, the set of his shoulders….

it’s only by sheer will that your terror doesn’t show on your face.

the unidentified man hums, crossing his arms, and thoma looked between the two of them with obvious unease. they must be the voices you heard.

“hello.”

ayato is the one who breaks the silence, and you almost wish he hadn’t. his presence is far more intimidating in person, very much so what you should have expected from somebody of his status. you clutch your spoon tighter.

“i don’t recognize them, my lord,” the unnamed man says, and something in ayato’s eyes shift. you can’t decide if it’s better or worse.

“so you’re the one that’s caught thoma’s eye.” ayato walks into the room, taking a seat across the table from you. “why?”

you shouldn’t be surprised he knew that. you still are, as information couldn’t possibly be passed all the way to him in time for him to arrive.

thoma walks in, taking off the pot you didn’t notice was boiling, attempting to break the tension by pouring out two cups of tea.

the pot hesitates over the third cup. “hisashi, would you like some tea?”

hisashi. why is that name familiar?

the man—hisashi—shakes his head, but does walk in to lean against the doorframe. “no.”

the teapot is set back down on the table, but ayato raises a hand as thoma steps away.

“please, stay. i have as many questions for you as i do for…?”

his eyes turn to you and you can feel the bitter taste of salt burn away any thought you have of responding. the tea looks too hot to drink, and you’re not sure if green tea would taste the same here anyway.

“ah, i never got you your notepad!”

thoma tries to leave for a second time, and ayato stops him again with a questioning look.

what had you gotten yourself into?

“they’re sick, and their voice doesn’t sound too good. i was getting them a pen and paper to ask my own questions before..”

a small smile crossed the commissioner’s face. “excellent job, thoma. you may leave; and please, take your time.”

thoma quickly bows before leaving with hurried steps.

ayato’s gaze returns to you, and he picks up his cup, swirling it twice before taking a small sip. his eyes sweep your figure, pausing momentarily on the hand with the spoon. you let it go, pulling your hand back into your lap, and he hums. after another drink, he sets down his cup.

“you should really try some,” he says, nodding at your untouched tea. “thoma always makes excellent tea.”

you don’t doubt it, but you’re not keen on drinking something still steaming. it may be wise to drink it, something something green tea has medicinal properties and the warmth will ease your throat…. you still don’t touch it.

his eyes flash, and you feel like you passed some sort of test.

“are the shogunate after you?”

you nod.

“do you know why?”

you hesitate. you technically do, as it’s likely the same reason you were chased out of liyue and everywhere prior, but you still don’t know why they’re accusing you of such things. you didn’t do anything initially, you’d barely gotten out your name before…

“interesting.” you look back from where your eyes have wandered, seeing his smile has grown. apparently your silence was answer enough. “you’re not from inazuma.”

it’s not a question, but you shake your head no anyways.

“and yet you know me.”

why wouldn’t you? he’s the head of the yashiro commission, a prominent figure in inazuman politics. even outside of inazuma, surely there’s people that know the yashiro commissioner, right? you know he stays out of the public eye most chances, and that ayaka handles that side of things, but still. it can’t be that rare.

ayato takes another drink of his tea. you wonder when thoma will come back. ayato told him to ‘take his time,’ but finding a pen and paper shouldn’t…

…oh.

kamisato ayato. what else did you expect?

“do you have any plans to stay in inazuma?”

you didnt have plans at all, really. you fully expected to die in the ocean, whether by the fall or the waves or the rocks below. perhaps even osial, if you were unlucky. all you wanted was food and maybe some clothes; you didn’t think you’d get this far.

you shrug.

“given your state, i doubt you can leave,” he points out. “do you even have any mora?”

the jab works better than you thought it would, the memory of the kind hilichurls sharing the mora from the chests they guarded for you to get things from marketplaces sparking defensiveness. of course you have mora, because you had friends.

“even if you did-“ oh, he is far too good at his job “-i don’t believe it’s enough for you to make yourself presentable enough to get a job.” he’s speaking to his teacup, watching the tea swirl. “so i offer you a deal.”

of course. of course he wants a deal.

“you tell me why the shogunate is after you, and i will protect you from them.”

what.

there’s no way he could do that. he couldn’t just go against the tenryou commission like that. there’s no way. there has to be a catch.

“i can see you’re confused.” if you weren’t certain it would hurt, you’d have said something sharp in reply. “thoma is an excellent judge of character. though he is sometimes far too kind for his own good, he still knows a criminal when he sees one. i am inclined to agree with his judgement, and this wouldn’t be the first time the tenryou commission has unwittingly accused an innocent.”

…huh?

the sudden tone shift sends your brain in a loop, repeating his words over in your mind. he was offering you an out? why was he willing to go so far from his duties for somebody he didn’t know?

ayato finishes his tea, setting down the empty cup on a platter. he seems to be waiting for your response, surprisingly, and the only problem is that you don’t know what to say.

you’re faced with the same dilemma again: trust, and get involved with people that could get you in severe trouble were you to be caught, or decline, and risk getting caught quicker by giving up that safety.

footsteps project thoma’s rearrival. he hesitated in the doorway, likely sensing the tension, but comes in anyway, placing down first a plain notepad, then a similarly simple pen on top.

“would you like anything else, my lord?”

“sit, please.”

thoma pauses again, and it’s comforting to know that not everybody here knows everything.

that point is driven further home when he chooses to sit next to you rather than ayato.

the commissioner himself seems shocked, his eyes widening slightly as he sits up straighter. beside you, thoma’s hands twist in his lap, and you wonder if even he knows why he chose what he did.

ayato clears his throat, catching your attention once more.

“do you accept?”

[henriiiii-1001old]

when does William and Henry's relationship start going downhill?

trust me, it's been going down since they met /hj

but if i were to pick when henry started really distrusting william and when the toxicity of the relationship was finally clicking in henry's head, it would be 1986

what happened in '86? well, some random guys from another state was interested in buying into the franchise, most likely as sponsors or something. because william is actually now very protective of the company, he decided "instead of politely declining them, i'm going to kill them because i can :]". then he shows henry their bodies like a maniac.

right then and there, william fesses up to everything: the missing children, charlie, his plan to weaponize the funtimes, rebuilding michael into a robot body to further manipulate him into joining the murder "business" with him, killing random people for the sole purpose of collecting remnant, just everything. and of course, henry is forced to keep everything secret in fear of someone else going missing. he'll just end up blaming himself like elizabeth blamed herself for charlie's death.

henry does get the courage to talk to william about it the next day, unsure of if he should call the police about it. unfortunately, william just plays it off as "what do you mean? we declined their offer and they went on their way! what's gotten into you?" henry gets reasonably angry and actually tells william he's going to get the police involved until william decides that "so you don't trust me? do you not love me anymore? fine, i'll leave."

and he leaves. he just walks right out the door, leaving henry with his own intrusive thoughts. usually when william did this, it was usually for a few hours or sometimes he'd ignore him for days. but this time, days passed, then weeks, then months, then 3 whole years. it was hell for henry to live without him for that long. he started questioning their entire relationship and if william only used him to fill his ego/god complex. he was even thinking that william was seeing someone else behind his back (he kind of already was since the 70s though so he was kinda right about that). it just mae him angry and disappointed in himself and blamed himself for everything. he even convinced himself that he was the one who murdered the kids for "letting them die". deep down he knew it wasn't true, but he convinced himself to believe that in hopes that it would maybe bring william back to him...

[the-acid-pear]

Scarface was too fucking boring, didn't make it past chapter 3, but that's good, because that means Baki-Dou time 😍

Time to read the fourth book in this series! Excited to see Musashi <3

Chapter 1

COLORS

Baki please stop flexing

A FELLA SAYING THE SAME I SAID WHEN YUJIRO PULLED HIS SOB STORY, FR GO TRY SOMETHING ELSE! What happened with that whole "i don't care about fighting" eh Baki?!

Chapter 2

HOHO ALI JR???

ah no :/

HOLY FUCK is this quality bad!

He wants to taste defeat i see

TOKUGAWA PLEASE STOP SMOKING

Oh they removed the... Egg in the back of the neck, nice

God this guy's tits so fat 🥵

FINALLYYY HOW LONG SINCE WE SAW A FIGHT IN THE ARENA? A PROPER FIGHT I MEAN

Chapter 3

He doesn't even know 🐍

DON'T BRING THAT FELLA HERE RETSU KICKED HIS ASS IN TIME. RECORD

Oh i saw fanart of this scene

Baki, it's your fault that you are bored, you fucking teen

This shit boring ME

Chapter 4

Oh, goroukou is a title

I like how the prime minister is becoming a recurrent character

I thought he said babe for a sec-

That little "oh~" is a bit sus, are the old men... No, it can't be 😳😳😳

I'm fucking choking fuck

GOD ALMOST READ THAT AS JOHN CENA 😭

"yes <3"

These ppl never learn

Chapter 5

What a way to go, a la gamzee /j

This dude so weird lmao

FAHDGAHDH king

Dude he has huge round eyes tf you talking bout?

IGDUFSUEASEUURSS he's such a freakkk 😭😭😭

This is the most wtf thing Baki has pulled, remember when this was about fighters fighting? I don't know enough about science for this shit either man

Okay so their hug wasn't Tokugawa being touchy like he is, this guy is even worse, se juntaron el hambre y las ganas de comer HSHAFSFG

Chapter 6

Baki's dead

Katsumi about to kill get killed by my grandpa i see

ALSO KATSUMI OG HAIR WOOO

Katsumi bro don't be so happy over nearly killing him-

I love seeing him get better tho

Uwaadgsgsjdga 😍😳🤤 twisting my hair irl,,, 🥴

Finally Motobe remembered he was a character here 😐

FSGSHDAHDA KOSHO PLS

I LOVE that they got dark lips again

IM SORRY GOUKI HOW DO YOU KNOW SO MUCH ABOUT EVERYONE?! LTDKFsjyrd 😭

Jack's scar looks cool ngl

Retsu living the good life lmao

AND HOW DO YOU KNOW, GRANDPA?

Hana just doesn't care, smartest Baki character lmao

Idk what they talking bout but good for em <3

Cum basement

Chapter 7

SHOW US MUSASHI'S COCK

Obsessed he thought his heart was failing 😭

Dude you can just hear the heart beat of your friends/opponents just like that? 🤨

Notice Gaia in the top left 🥴

WHY CAN HE RECOGNIZE EACH OF THEIR HEARTBEATS AAHSGA

Thick 🥵

Unironically built different

Chronic back pain if you ask me, that's how I stand to relieve my agony

Did. Did you just call him a femb-

STOP SHOWING ME PANELS FROM VAGAMOND

I love John sm lmao

Mr Musashi has 2 (3?) dads

Chapter 8

HAIRY LEGS 🥴

Those things look like boobs

Bet you would know eh SHAFADB

They jerked off the mummy?

Reminds me of eye surgery

AFjshAFDGAJAHAF

Mf came out the tube ripped af 😭

Chapter 9

Everyone is so feminine lately good ol Kureha fell behind 😭

I like his bandana tho it's cute

OH HE TOO? AND HE'S NOT EVEN THAT STRONG

Fat tits 🥴

Eheojeudkshs 😖😳👉👈

JACK STOP YOU ARE BIG ENOUGH ALREADY

HOLY FUCK

You know like i understand Baki, he is at the highest he can be rn, NO ONE can defeat him, but the rest? Like c'mon y'all just beat each other up or something

Ah, the miracle of birth 😍

Chapter 10

I love how all these two do is hang out together in bars, boybosses

TF IS UP WITH THAT ICE? AHDHS

I love what they have

Hana thinking of getting his 4 limbs broken again i see

WOOO!! Nice cock Mr Musashi 😳

HANAYAMA PLEASE 😐

Chapter 11

I love those freaks

I just now I'm seeing the little scars on his cheeks from the fight with Spec ☺️

I love the fact that Musashi has hair in his legs BUT not his arms like ??? Okay king

Heated scientist moment

HOHO POGGERS 👀

Chapter 12

UTSURAARSDFAFA sibling goals

GIRLBOSS 😍

URAURUSYRSAESGA IN LOVE???

Holy shit she's amazing

Chapter 13

And his ass is very thick too 😳

Those fucking sunglasses, obsessed

Debatable, he got struck by lightning :/

HE WAXES HIS HAIR? OMFG OBSESSED

WHY IS HE WEARING THAT LMAO 😭

Nooo they censored the cock again 😔😔😔

DO IT QWEEN 💅

STOP SAYING SHE'S GONNA FUCK THE CLONE

"I'm exciteddddd" "ok."

Chapter 14

You just hate seeing a girlboss win

She truly is amaizing

Also i just realized spirits have been showing up since the first book so this isn't so crazy lol

MF HOW IS THAT GONNA HELP 😭😭😭

THE LITTLE BUBBLES AND SPARKLES... I BET HE DID 🥺

Chapter 15

WHY ARE HIS TITS SO ROUND AND FAT GODDAMN IT,,, 😳😖

Glad seeing some things never change

He looks so much like Jun

IGSITSURAURZES EPICCC

Someone question if Yujiro knew how too write obsessed,,,

Chapter 16

Goddamn it you got even older in the past 3 or so chapters bro

Mouth to mouth soul transference

OHHH

HIS EYEBROWS FELL HOW IGDUTSITDIYDIGD

Some mf got turned on by this HELP 😭

Chapter 17

I love how Yujiro and Hana are still getting ready to throw hands while this happens lol

Okay yeah that was super disrespectful honestly, guy is having a chat :/

HAHAGSJAHA obsessed

God i thought it was Hana the one grabbing some random lady for a second AFDJSJSSJS

He cute af ngl

POOR GUY MUST BE SO CONFUSED OMFG,,,

Fsr I'm surprised he can talk, like it should be obvious but in all the fanart i saw he never said a word, also, he's so damn respectful 😍

Chapter 18

Idk he was never that clever /hj

Hehehe blood

I love how John can only sit that way

The size of his balls lmao

Coward won't even fight with his dick out smh :/

God he mad cute-

Chapter 19

I MISS THE DEATH ROW FELLAS FUCKKK

Hm i think this random tiny bald man is not Tokugawa but someone that looks awfully similar to him

YEAH NO SHIT I FEEL SO BAD FOR HIM, HE MUST BE SO DAMN OVERWHELMED

Apparently there was a cameo, i don't know enough about anime to know or care

Chapter 20

He's tripping balls

Tokugawa should have gone a bit slower with this poor guy, this is like a lot to process at once <:/

Nvm he's doing better than me

Oydirsusefs look at himmm

WAIT A FUCKING SECOND OMFG DIDN'T DOPPO FIGHT THIS GUY?!

SOMEONE ELSE RECOGNIZED HIM HE ISSS

Chapter 21

OHDIRAYEASURRSUURS HE DOESN'T KNOWWW FFS

Musashi be like °_°

LOOK AT THAT SMILE LMAO

He's just chilling, mentally killing this dude

Murder baby

Chapter 21

The way his eyes are drawn is so cool

YRAURSUFSIDTGA

And he jokes too! Wow I'm in love 😍

(nsfw) CAN YOU HANDLE DICK LIKE THAT TOO? 😍

WOW

I TAKE BACK THAT QUESTION

I remember a show where you would bring your own knives and swords and go thru a bunch of test, Musashi should have been one of them

Mf truly is like :]

I love how he didn't buy it

I can't wait for him to fight Yujiro 😍

Chapter 23

He truly is 😌

ATFJAIDQYSF OBSESSED

He was happy this time at least, 5 times he lost already btw

Tokugawa truly in unhateable lmao

Chapter 24

IM SORRY, HIS LEG???

Oh I forgot Musashi does that

JAGSKSGSKSGS HIS FUCKING FACE I CAN'T 😭

I miss when translators would add notes i don't want to google shit myself :/

"I'm hard as rock" /j

Chapter 25

Look how happy he issss

MUSASHI POG MUSASHI POG-

I love how Tokugawa can't believe he got it first try and it's trying to lie now sjdakdyv

This mf is actually making me insane what the actual fuck i don't know what he has but he's gonna make me act up 😳

Mf be shadow boxing too dammit /j

Baki please

Chapter 26

OLD MAN JUST WANTS A PUBLIC TO SEE THIS LMAO

Look at the size of Baki's eyes holy fuck lmao

He's gonna yeet him!

OH NOOOO

FIRST HIS DAD NOW MUSASHI, THIS GUY CANT CATCH A BREAK LMAO

Chapter 27

How little time passed? They have barely moved

Yeah you did it last book too Baki

King shit

Chapter 28

AKSGSKGSJSGS KING

I love how he only now realized

Okay no he has a point

I love how he just calls him boy

Look at that smug face

I trust Musashi but at the same time he, really should be walking around this new world alone. Now, if i were to accompany him... 🥴/j

Baki please

Chapter 29

I love how soft the artstyle suddenly got, like if done big a big brush

Yujiro you just insulted every single anime character in history

Baby Baki's just like "Ok."

I like how Yujiro looks here

AUGHHJF HE'S SO BABY 🥺

HOHO badass

Chapter 30

He died 😔

Idiot hasn't even beat he 0.5 reaction seconds lmao 🤣

HOHOOOOO?!? 👁️👁️

"my curiosity exceed my fear!!" I RESPECT THIS MAN SO MUCH??

Chapter 31

AMAIZING HONESTLY

Fighter to fighter communication

SHIT LOOK AT THE STATE OF THAT HAND

He's just gone now LMAO

I honestly don't mind Baki being weak against this, he never fought against a two handed swordman, this is new territory

Chapter 32

Oh his really tripping balls now this is why he shouldn't be alone

NVM HE'S STILL DOING BETTER THAN ME ON A DAILY BASIS, I HAVE A LOT TO LEARN FROM THIS MAN

I just now realized he's barefoot

Nice ass king

The policemen are quite nice

He's very cooperative but i can't blame the cops either

Chapter 33

Yeah no shit that must be so insane

IF YOU HADN'T DROPPED OFF SCHOOL THEN...

That's kinda funny but idk man he's right i think

He's just like :3

I love how he isn't picking up a fight out of malice but rather just instinct like, he can't understand shit that is going on

YOU ARE SO RIGHT BAKI IT ISN'T BORING FOR ME EITHER

Chapter 34

Don't you fucking dare shave him Itagaki

It's funny how it took 2 books and a half for Baki to start being a protagonist

Holy fuck did Baki add height or is Miyamoto that big?

Wow how perfect i ran out of space just now!! Having fun with this book ngl :]

[thewhizzyhead]

you very much Should Keep going (if you’d like) I’m reading your tags like 👀👀👀 I wanna know More!!!

dude believe me i only just thought up 90% 9f this while doing my math homework last night so yea this is very barebones and this is very very new have very little to offer but um imma try to explain a bit more fjdjdc SO ANYWAYS GRADE 11

Warning: this is very long and I am very sorry aaAAAA also i only just thought of this last night and a while ago while attending class so um yea it's chaotic.

the songs i've mentioned so far in the tag ramble aren't um consecutive so yeah there are a lot of blank spaces in between fjsjsj and yea I haven't figured out the other leads and their arcs yet (probably 5-6 leads). for now um the planned songs feature 3 of the leads:

Kate - basically answers the question of What If Eva Sanchez Was The Protagonist and What If Eva Sanchez Saw The Hell That Is Don't Even (in this show, this song is called "Anakpota?" or "The Fuck?"); she's a transferee and is having a bit of a hard time adjusting to the new school environment; her reasons for transferring run a bit deeper than just "humanities is a lot more interesting than stem or business shits"; i guess her main character themes are burnout, the want for childlike wonder again and overcoming the fear that comes with chasing what you really want and no i am definitely not self projecting what are you guys talking about smh rhhdhs /hj (altho i admit that this is loosely based on my own experience with deciding to transfer schools) and yea she's a very closeted lesbian that slowly starts to comes out to others and to herself more throughout the course of the show. and also she gets a girlfriend YAY

Noel - rn i don't have that much planned out for him cause u know barebones plot but so far um i guess he's the chill dude, overall good guy, rantaro amami from danganronpa v3 vibes, and he's initially framed as the "love interest" for Kate esp in the song "Ikaw Ba Ay..." or "Are You..." (i wanted that to be a play on the typical Filipino Teen Hetero Romance CAUSE THAT SHIT IS IN EVERYWHERE JFJSJD I AM GONNA MAKE A WHOLEASS RANT ON THAT SOON AND NOBODY CAN STOP ME) but surprise motherfucker BOTH OF THEM ARE GAY AND BOTH BOND OVER IT AND BECOME BEST FRIENDS YAY WOOOO i kinda want him to be like the typical "Filipino Teen Heartthrob" star student with the twist being that he's gay and not make that a throwaway joke cause um yea that's a throwaway joke here that someone who is real catch for the heteros but is actually gay is "sayang" or "worthless" here.

Ella - ngl she is probably gonna end up as the main lead here fjdjd i'd say she has riley+chess vibes aka The School's Hotshot Achiever and Student Leader That Is Very Intimidating But Is Actually Really Freaking Kind and i guess with a dash of Kate Dalton-ish snark. Like i said the plot is barebones rn so i dunno anything but i do imagine them being the one that drives the plot forward due to her outspokenness. I also imagine her to be the one (along with Noel) that makes Kate a lil bit more comfortable with her sexuality and yup you guessed it Ella is gay too (bi to be specific oh and she uses she/they pronouns) and altho still a bit closeted, they're a bit more comfy with it. also they become Kate's gf yay!

those are the leads that i have kinda planned out so far but yea i still gotta expound kna lot of atuff and make up more leads for this but then again i just started conceptualizing this last night so ANYWAYS HERE ARE THE OTHERS SONGS THAT I LITERALLY JUST THOUGHT UP LAST NIGHT (aside from the ones already mentioned)

+ "Nakakapanibago" or "Well This Is New" - Ella and Kate work together on a school project aaand gay panic ensues. both of them take turns in addressing the audience and panicking over each other in um er an "Oh My God She's Very Fucking Cute What The Fuck" way. it kinda has What Is This Feeling from Wicked vibes if you remove the aggression and antagonization jdjsd and i kinda emphasize on how overwhelmed they are cause for Kate, everything - from the school to the subjects to the people - is new and her attraction to Ella is like a cherry bomb on top of a chaos cake while for Ella, who has studied in the school since kindergarten which is why nothing about the school fazes her anymore, Kate is a literal breath of fresh air and the spontaneity scares them and excites them at the same time. The number is comedic (and is chance for me to add a shit ton of wordplay cause yAY WORDPLAY) but i guess also hints at their fears which will definitely come into play later.

+ "Mabuting Laban" or "Good Fight" - a group number led by Ella, this is the first song in the musical that isn't mostly comedic. like um the musical so far (before this song) is mostly somewhat of a parody-just-for-laughs-don't-take-this-seriously piece but with this, the show finally hints to something a lot more serious and insightful. so basically ella tells kate (this scene comes right after the Nakakapanibago sequence) that they have noticed that the latter is um very very shocked at the blatant show of LGBTQ+ stuff. Kate mentions that altho many students have since then spoke up for LGBTQ+ acceptance, things were a lot more conservative back in her former school (once again wooo definitely not self projection /hj) so like seeing all this is very new to her. Ella then mentions that things weren't always like that - a lot of fighting had to be done in order to get to that point. and because most of the students already were branded with a rebellious reputation (for a lot of delinquent behavior), they really didn't give a fuck anymore if they were being controversial or not. What mattered was that they would make the school environment a lot more welcoming for themselves and for others. That sentiment is also shared by other leads singing along as they go out of their way to ensure a much better environment for everyone (in terms of lgbtq+ rights, undoing the stigmatization of mental health matters, student activism yadda yadda)

(oh and also this kinda serves as something that bridges the prejudices between the two schools since Ella's school is famous for a lot of student delinquency while Kate's former school is famous for being known as the "Best School In The Region With The Best Students" (which is why Ella understands why the students in Kate's school are a bit more hesitant to speak up because Kate's former schoolmates got way too much to lose) and the rivalry those schools have with each other cause students from ella's school think those from kate's school are pompous little shits while those from kate's school think that ella's schoolmates are delinquents and yes this is commentary on the dynamic my former school'scstudents and my current school's students share) (i should probably give this its own song)

+ "Ayoko" or " I Don't Want It" - (this does not come right after Mabuting Laban fjsjd i honestly dunno where to put this) this comes right after a conversation regarding her reputation in her former school and yea this is Kate poking fun at the "I Want" song musical trope. Like um she addresses the audience saying something along the lines of "oooohh wow complicated backstory exposition! you are probably expecting a song rn ala "How Far I'll Go" from Moana but guess what bitches fuck you all cause i'm gonna sing a song about the things I don't want just to fucking annoy you." it starts off as incredibly satirical and um Kate Dalton-vibes all throughout the scene with lots of pettiness which will then gradually transition to her singing about how she threw all the opportunities presented to her by the former school just because she really didn't want to do them and was tired of saying "yes" just to be enough for them. She then starts singing about her taking control of her own narrative by finally leaving the school. She still laments about those lost opportunities and admits that she still kinda wants to pursue those, but if she has to sacrifice rest for greatness, then she doesn't want it. The song ends with a verse akin to most I Want songs as she finally admits what she really wants the most: rest and wonder.

also here's a verse i made up just a while ago

Diyos ko, sabihin mo, ano pa ang kailangan kong gawin/upang mabawi ang mga ninakaw sa akin/upang maibalik ang pag-asang nawala/upang sa wakas ako'y makakapagpahinga/sapagkat hindi na ako nagnanais ng kadakilaan/ang hinihingi ko lamang ay ang aking kabataan

translation (i'll try my best to make it rhyme): My God, tell me, what else do i have to do/so I can take back all that they have taken from me/so that I can bring back the hope I've long so been deprived of/so that for once in my life, I'll be able to breathe/ cause I no longer want all the greatness that you say I could've had/ I only want to wonder, I only want my childhood back

+ "Halos Lagi Nalang"or "Almost Always The Same" - if this sounds familiar yes i rambled about this before gjdjdjd I started conceptualizing this song even before i even started conceptualizing the musical. So yea this is in Act 2 the song starts with mentioning the exhaustion that comes with being an LGBTQ+ teen in the philippines cause yup same old conservative religious bullshit same old same old shit and despite many a lot of people advocating for LGBTQ+ rights, nothing ever changes around here because well conservative religious bullshit. so yea this is kind of an extension of "Good Fight" but make it more about the burnout felt by a lot of teens that want something better than whatever we have right now. Then it will also apply to the other causes that the leads fight for (activism,destigmatization of mental health stuffs, etc). I'd say it's a combination of Before the Breakdown + Move On musically speaking (yea PMA has influenced me by a LOT). eventually this becomes one of the star numbers fo the show cause yea all the leads will do a shit ton of singing and harmonizing (but for here i'd say Noel and Kate have a tiny bit more of the spotlight since for now they are the ones with the very LGBTQ+ based plotlines). I really REEAAALLY want this song to work aaaa i've been playing around with the melody a lot recently and if i can't write the whole musical, then i'll be content with at the very least writing this song

+ "Try Lang Natin" or "Let's Try It Out" - this is a very barebones sequence atm but basically it's a scene where both Kate and Ella come to terms with their fears related to uncertainty and go "fuck it we don't know jackshit about the future anyway so why not ondulge a bit and ejoy what we have today" and decide to start going out with each other YAYYYYY and also this is like one of the few scenes here were Ella is much more visibly nervous compared to everyone else in the scene so yay for helping each other come to terms with their own vulnerabilities WOOOOO (also paige i remember you saying once that kate and eva could've had a Forever reprise duet right? And correct me if i'm wrong but i think u said it could be about eva assuring kate that she won't go anywhere? WELP I'M STEALING THAT JFJSJJDF /lh /hj AND YUP KATE AND ELLA ARE BASICALLY UM KINDA KATEVA IF YOU SQUINT SO THANK YOU PAIGE FOR THAT IDEAAAA)

AND THAT'S IT SO FAR WOO THIS TOOK ME 5 HOURS TO TYPE IT ALL OUT FJDJSJFF i'm kinda impressed with this ngl considering that i literally started making this up last night and i hope that i can make something out of it woo

And if you guys somehow reached the end of the post and have read every single thing, I'm sending you a lot of hugs and a lot of milkshakes

[reydelcastill0]

Between Dirt & Water

Word Count: ~3530

Characters: Fundy, Wilbur Soot, TommyInnit, Tubbo_

Relationships: Wilbur Soot & Fundy

About: Wilbur Soot is told one day that he has a kid. Being a responsible dad, he takes in the young fox kit he's told is his and swears to protect them. He just want to protect his son, Fundy, and he'll ensure that, within and out of L'Manberg walls, he'll make his son happy.

Other: Fundy is Trans; Fundy uses all the pronouns; he goes from it to them to her to he; tubbo is blonde because of his skin!; Wilbur has a brown fox tail because i said so; sally the salmon is NOT canon-compliant /hj

Truthfully, he hadn't expected to have a kid. Not at the cusp of war and certainly not with a salmon. But it happened. The salmon told him about the baby one morning and how surprised it was to see that the baby was not like other salmon spawn. Confused, Wilbur followed the fish up the river, ignoring the curious eyes of all the other fish who swam around. Wilbur nervously flicked his tail. The eyes of the salmon are very prying and knowing. He does not like it.

Wilbur is very careful as he follows the fish to go see his kid. He doesn't want to step onto SMP land. Without established L'Manberg boarders, even straying far from his caravan is risky. He expects to be ambushed at any moment of every moment of his life. He doesn't even know if he can trust the salmon. It might be lying about a kid. Dream is the type to try and use anything against his enemies. A fish who once meant something to Wilbur would be a great opportunity.

"How old is it?" Wilbur asks quietly.

The fish peaked out of the water to speak, "A few suns," it replies. Wilbur lets out a noise of acknowledgement. He isn't even sure if he wants to meet his child. But he'll take responsibility for it, because that's what father do, right?

"How long did you know?" He asks. It seems unfair and really suspicious to have sprung this on Wilbur. They've stopped walking by now so that they could talk. If this is an ambush in the end, Wilbur wants to stall it.

"I knew I would have my spawn around this time, but I assumed all of them would be like any other salmon," it tells him, "I wouldn't have even known if any of my spawn were yours."

"So you didn't tell me-?"

"So I didn't tell you," the fish interjects. Its black and beady eyes stare at Wilbur unamusedly. Wilbur makes note that it sounds like this kid is an inconvenience. "But one of my spawn is very clearly yours. It has your eyes."

They walk in silence the rest of the way. When Wilbur sees the child, Wilbur thinks as to how the salmon only made comment on the eyes. The child, a young fox kit, bears not even a single resemblance to the salmon surrounding it.

"A fox?" He questions the validity of this being his child. The kit looks like any other fox kit, so he can't even be sure it's his kid. Yeah, he is part fox himself and he has the tail to prove, but this fox kit is so generic and so much more like a fox than he is...

"You're the only one who could even have fox kits," the fish states sternly, "and it certainly wasn't abandoned here. You're the only fox around here." He wants to correct the salmon and say he isn't even a full fox, but he supposes that furthers its point.

He still barely believes that this is his kid. It's a fox, that's for sure, but it could be any old fox. The salmon says that it knows no foxes though, Wilbur being the closest thing to fox as there can be around her. So it has to be his kid, despite the fox remaining mostly submerged in water. If it's a few days old, it probably can't even see and he certainly doesn't expect it to get up and walk. It might not even have eaten since its own birth, which provides Wilbur half a thought to go get it some food. He ignores the urge to do so as soon as possible once the salmon starts talking.

"I can't take care of a fox, Wilbur." Wilbur should have expected that. What could a salmon do to provide for a fox? If anything, the salmon should fear for its life. Its child is a threat to its own family.

Sighing, he simply says, "Ok." He finally moves, not having done so when he arrived to the spawn area. Without a word, he steps into the river to get closer to the kit. He realizes too late that maybe he should have taken off his boots, but it doesn't matter any more. He wades in deeper until he is right beside his kid. All the salmon in the area swim swiftly away.

He picks up the fox slowly, mindful of how it becomes panicked. It lets out a little cry, and something within him decides then and there what his future holds. Bringing it to his chest, he makes his way back to dry land, hushing the baby in his arms. It barely looks human or salmon-y, but he can take care of it. He'll make everything better for it. He'll build this nation if it means his kid is safe. Yeah, he's reluctant about being a father, but he'll do it. No matter the cost.

Wilbur finds himself a bit stressed. The fox kit cries a lot, and really loud, too. Tending to it is very difficult, but making sure the surrounding area is safe is the difficult part. If Wilbur leaves for too long, he's afraid that the kit will get hurt. It needs him almost all hours of the day.

So Wilbur ignores border maintenance for a bit and hopes the SMP doesn't take notice. Dream is ruthless. He would take any opportunity he is given to destroy L'Manberg.

Wilbur lays his kit on his bed, laying down beside it, curling up to keep it warm in the late hours of the night. He barely sleeps. Worries of what could happen keep him up. He is upset to have had a child in the middle of war. To atone for his biggest mistake, he will protect his kit with his life. He'll dedicate every day to it if he needs to.

It takes a week of sleepless nights and calling his kit every variation of infant he could think of before he comes up with a name. They're too young for him to tell what they are, so he settles for any name. The first he thinks of is Fundy. The name reminds him of his family and he think it suits the kid. Fundy Soot, the first citizen to be born in L'Manberg (he'll claim the river as his land later, just to make it official).

Wilbur often takes Fundy out to the lake his caravan is beside (but never to the river, he thinks it's too risky). He doesn't ever dip them into the water, but he dips his own feet in. He's raising a fox, his child, but also the child of a salmon. To think he would ever form a connection to the water was baffling, but that doesn't matter. Fundy isn't treated any less because of their other parent. Wilbur doesn't care about that, he only cares about Fundy.

Months later, when Fundy starts walking on their hind legs, does Wilbur decide to finally check what he should start calling them. He almost sticks with calling them 'them', but he figures he should make more of an effort to understand them. 'They,' 'them,' and 'theirs' sounds impersonal in this context, in his opinion, for the simple reason that he just doesn't know much about his own kid. After checking them, he comes to be happy to say that he'll make this nation great for his daughter.

Now that she is walking around on two legs, though she does switch between two and four legs, he decides now is as good as a time to get her clothes.

"Fundy," he starts firmly, "I need you to be a good girl for papa, ok? I need you to stay inside and to stay quiet, ok?" His voice cracks at the end, fear of what may happen to her in his absence.

She whines in response, but nods. He smiles, his worries easing up slightly. He puts a finger to his lips makes a shushing sound. She tries to repeat it, but she can't quite do it, so she only presses a finger to her muzzle.

Wilbur packs a bag and heads off. His goal is kid's clothes. Anything he could manage to grab, but a dress or a big shirt would do good. He doubts any pants he'd be able to find would even fit Fundy. He'll learn to tailor some if he needs to, but he doesn't have time for that right now.

He wonders if anyone in the SMP has kid's clothes he can sneak off with. He doesn't dare set a foot near the main houses, though. He may be on good terms with a few people, but Dream would sick anyone on Wilbur and every SMP member would have no choice but to comply.

He comes across a dirt shed eventually, at the top of a hill. It almost seems abandoned, but the nearby carrot farm is too maintained and the inside of the shed is too... Lived in? To be abandoned. He rummages through the first chests he sees. There are a lot of shirts there. Lots of identical white shirts and even a couple green button-ups. He stuffs one of both into his bag and quietly closes the chest. He tries to find other rooms with chests, but it seems the storage area was the main room...

While he's about to leave, he hears a couple young voices talking to each other. Neither sound like any members of "The Dream Team," thankfully, but the unfamiliarity leaves him uneasy. He tries to sneak out, but he only knows of one exit out of here and the voices are just where it is.

He doesn't have time to hide when two blond kids are at the front door. One of them pulls out a sword quickly, the other not doing so quite quick enough. Wilbur should have brought a sword of his own. He hopes these kids are nothing like Dream.

"Who are you?" One of them shouts. He pushes the sword forward slightly, urging Wilbur to talk. He gets the point, but Wilbur only stares at the doorway. He won't answer.

"I didn't know we were having a visitor," the other one says after a few seconds. His sword is also pointed to Wilbur. A quick look at the kid and he sees no malice behind his eyes, but the kid seems like he is still ready to make a swing. If anything, Wilbur could take them on, but he's unarmed and these kids are the opposite— fists against swords, Wilbur would be at a disadvantage.

"I—," the first kid lowers his stance a moment and turns to the other one, "We're not supposed to have visitors, Tubbo!"

"Oh," the other one, Tubbo?, responds, "You didn't invite anyone?" He, Tubbo, takes a glance to the lowered sword and subtly lowers his own.

"No, Tubbo, I didn't invite anyone." The unnamed kid takes a moment to sigh and fully lowers his sword. Tubbo looks down to it and then glances to Wilbur (he knows what he was doing). Tubbo repeats the dejected sound from earlier, but he doesn't sound disappointed. The not-Tubbo kid runs a hand through his hair and, with no effort, points his sword to Wilbur.

"Who are you?" He repeats.

Wilbur figures he'll get home sooner if he complies. "Soot," he says. He's sure Dream would have warned everyone of Wilbur, the one L'Manberg citizen (Dream likely doesn't know about Fundy).

"Soot?" Tubbo asks, as thought he's connecting dots, "Like Wil-" Wilbur is sure Tubbo says his full name, but the other kid speaks over him.

"Soot? You mean like Wilbur Soot? Oh Dream would be so proud of me if I caught you," the kid says, "He would be like 'Tommy you are so cool.'" Wilbur knows Dream would never even say anything remotely close to that. The kid, Tommy?, stiffens his grip on his sword, changing from relaxed to serious.

"Listen, no— I'm not, uh," Wilbur thinks for a moment, before he finishes what he was saying, "I'm Fundy Soot. Have you heard of me?" Wilbur becomes very aware of his tail for a moment. Dream would probably have mentioned that Wilbur has a tail. He keeps it as still as he can and fights back a whine of worry. He just wants to get back to his daughter.

"Fundy?" Both boys inquire and, with immense disappointment, Tommy lowers his sword once again. Wilbur nods and they shake their heads.

"Why are you in our house, Soot," Tommy says, his tone accusatory. Wilbur doesn't think Tommy believed him one bit, but he'll take this over a fight.

"I was just looking for some clothes for my daughter," he answers honestly. He lets his shoulders sag to further sell the truth.

"Ooh, how old is she?" Tubbo asks, "Maybe I can help you!"

Tommy pulls Tubbo aside for a moment. Wilbur vaguely hears a 'we don't work with the enemy.'

Wilbur takes that chance to try and sneak by. He goes behind Tommy, noting that Tubbo is very aware that Wilbur is taking off.

"Um, Tommy," Tubbo starts. Wilbur's eyes widen and he realizes how dumb it was to think escape would be that easy.

"What, Tubbo?"

Tubbo takes another look at Wilbur and then looks back to Tommy, "If he's a dad, why wouldn't we help him?" Tommy stops for a moment. Wilbur can't tell if Tommy is is genuinely thinking or if he's staring at Tubbo like Tubbo is crazy.

Wilbur is gone before Tommy notices he left. He makes it home before sunrise, but all he scored was two shirts. Slipping the red and white t-shirt (that Wilbur is sure must belong to the Tommy kid) over Fundy, Wilbur thinks back to how lucky he came across those two kids and not Dream or his team.

Wilbur coos when he sees Fundy in the shirt. She's so adorable! His heart won't last long if his daughter is just so cute.

Fundy makes a happy noise back and makes grabby motions to be picked up. Someday, the world will be perfect— just for her.

Months later and Fundy says her first words. "Flower," she yips, and Wilbur almost falls apart at hearing her talk. He loves her so much. He exclaims happily and picks her up. She laughs with the same enthusiasm and pats her dad's head.

He makes more of an effort to teach her English. As Fundy's schedule shifts to a more manageable one, Wilbur begins writing songs for her. He sings them to her before she sleeps, or while they're eating by a campfire, or when she plays in the water. He makes an effort to teach her some of his songs. She seems to greatly enjoy the music. He's glad to pass that love down to his daughter.

She even starts making her own songs, humming mostly, but he's so proud of her.

One night, as she's singing to Wilbur, she suddenly stops and scatters behind the log she was standing on. He hears her try to dig.

"Fundy?" Wilbur whisper shouts, worried as to what scared his daughter. He stands up quickly, but hears a twig snap behind him. He grabs for his sword (he keeps it around in case he was ambushed) and swings it behind himself.

"Woah there, Fundy," a young voice hurriedly says. Wilbur immediately recognizes Tommy and Tubbo.

"What are you doing here?" Wilbur growls out. They didn't act so maliciously last time, but they weren't acting according to Dream's orders. Wilbur can't be sure if they're here because Dream told them to be. He doesn't think rationally, for if he was he would have noticed they were unarmed.

"We came to visit!" Tubbo says, "Was that your daughter? Is she Fundy Jr.?" Tubbo is trying to change the subject. He isn't sure if he is doing it to calm Tommy or Wilbur down.

"Yeah... We came to visit. Your name isn't Fundy, is it?" Tommy says, straight to the point.

"Why are you two visiting?" Wilbur deflects.

Tommy eyes Tubbo for a moment before speaking. "We wanted to listen to you sing," he says. Wilbur isn't sure if it's honest, but Tubbo emphasizes Tommy's statement by sitting on the log Wilbur was sat at.

"My daughter is scared of you guys," Wilbur states plainly.

"What's her name?" Tubbo asks. He whispers, clearly aware that being loud might be startling.

Wilbur hesitates. "... Fundy." Tubbo tilts his head, but he smiles and whispers out the name. "What's your names?" Wilbur's sword is still pointed, but not really at the boys. He takes a moment to really understand the situation. The boys are unarmed, but Fundy is still cowering behind a log. These boys are the first players, beside Wilbur, that Fundy has met. This could be very stressful for her.

As the boys introduce themselves (he already knows their names), Wilbur goes to get Fundy.

"I'm Tommy the Coolest Man Ever, and they're name is Tubbo," Tommy says. Wilbur takes note that maybe he should switch the pronouns he uses for Tubbo. "And your name, Mr.Soot?"

"Wilbur," he tells the two. It doesn't matter. If they're on his land, they probably already know. Dream must've told him.

"Right, well, Big Dubs, we figured that out," Tommy says, his tone implying an underlying 'ha I was right!' Tubbo nods. Wilbur expected this. He picks up Fundy and whispers to her, telling her that the boys are nice. She cautiously looks to them and waves. He expected this shy behavior. He was just like her when he was younger. Shy and cautious of everyone. It's the fox in them. Strangers are unwelcome. It takes a good bit of convincing to accept a new person.

Or constant conditioning to take away the shy.

"Hi," Fundy mumbles.

It doesn't take long for Fundy to get used to the boys. They stick around more often, so Fundy has a lot of time to get used to them. Tommy and Tubbo sneak out often to go visit Wilbur, and sometimes Tubbo brings new shirts or even dresses for Fundy (WIlbur doesn't know where they get them). They come around a lot, to the point that the boys proclaim themselves Wilbur's little brothers, not before claiming themselves to be Fundy's uncles of course.

They play with her a lot. She's growing fast. At this point, she's almost as old the boys (Wilbur almost thought they were twins, but it turns out Tubbo is nearly two years older), but just shy of. She hangs out with them so much and kind of takes after them. She especially gets along with Tubbo who shares a passion for music as well.

Tommy likes the music, too, but his passions for it aren't as strong. He does, however, take pride in a music disc he has. Tommy takes it to L'Manberg. They have fun listening to it. Tommy then goes on about how much he loves this disc. And that devolves into a night of rants, confessions, and the boys seem to trust Wilbur enough to confide in him.

He's glad. He wonders if he and the boys would be as close as they were if they met under different conditions. If he never formed L'Manberg, would he have even met them?

Fundy, too, confides in Wilbur. He takes a moment to wonder if he would have still have had Fundy if he never formed L'Manberg.

"Dad" Fundy starts. She tugs at Wilbur's shirt. Maybe's she's tired. "I'm a boy. Like Tommy and Tubbo." She— no, he— He pulls Wilbur with him, leading him to the caravan. "I'm tired."

Wilbur's mind had blanked for a moment (the bluntness took him off guard), but Fundy snaps him out of it when he insists that Wilbur unlock the door. In a rush, he picks Fundy up and looks into his eyes (he thinks that maybe they do look like his own). "Look at my son!" He exclaims to the world, "Look at my son!"

Fundy is confused for a moment, but then he yips and hugs his dad tightly.

Wilbur swears to make life as perfect as it can be for his son. It takes some four to five years for Fundy to be grown big. He looks older than the boys now. Wilbur thinks that Fundy is about as old as Wilbur was when Fundy was born.

Regardless, Wilbur hopes the world is good enough for Fundy. He grew up so fast and the war isn't finished yet. He hoped it would be. He hoped he'd be able to have ended it by now. But he's made L'Manberg safer. Tommy and Tubbo officially moved into L'Manberg. An embassy was established (it's the dirt shed Wilbur stumbled into that one day).

Truthfully, he hadn't expected to have a kid. Not at the cusp of war and certainly not with a salmon. But it happened. And he doesn't regret it. Fundy is his pride and joy. He would gladly do anything for him. Through thick and thin, through blood and tears, it doesn't matter. He'd do anything for his son.

[zuffer-weird-girl]

I know is still early as hell. But when mother's day come around, hopefully, my country will be out of quarentine. And I will be super busy.

So. I noticed that you all like a Chisaki who begrudily shows his emotions. So why not?

Btw, the character might be a bit OOc on this one. Sorry about that and stay safe.

Mother's day...

His chest was enveloped by that tightness and bitter sweet sensation as he watched the outdoors, propagandas, and the worst, kids and other people celebrating on the fucking street with the person who brought them to this disgusting word.

Some had the luxury of having good parents right when born. Those spoiled bastards like the heroes surely didn't know what torture people had been through, more specifically the ones who didn't belonged to that word, the ones abandoned on the darkness... which hero would come to there anyway?

Heck, even in the fucking yakusa some had their parents who didn't treated them like shit.

To say the least. Father and Mother's day... wasn't a very found date of his.

He just had this eyes full of pure pain and not so great nostalgia. Memories of his past coming back like some type of torturous flash... the beating, the yelling... everything.

Pops did his best through the years to make some change of it. But with no success.

He walked past the door of his home, shoulders feeling like he was carrying the world on his back and head throbbing with a headache.

"You're back Kai!" A soft voice brought him back to reality as he merely gave a blank loook at his girlfriend, walling towards him with that smile.

He only nodded at her, not noticing her eyebrows furrowing in worry bit brushing it off as his usual attitude.

"I.. I'm going to go visit my mother for a bit." His heart seemed to sand at that, but his face didn't even twitched "If you want, you can come-"

"No." Simple and short was his answer, no harshness or annoyance on his tone, only... empytiness, lifting his gloved hand up and lowering after it with a sigh "Have a good day, careful when you come back...will you?" He said in a broken and flat tone as he walked past you.

Your worry only grew at seing that he didn't entered his office like usual, but the bedrock instead... you knew what this was all about, yet you couldn't stop over worrying about him..

You sighed as your phone buzzed, your mother worried why you were taking so long as you got out of the house with other plans in your head besides seing your mom...

~

His back rested on the mattress as his hollow gaze was directed at the windows and balcony of his room. Memories haunting him like some type of ghost or even demon that wouldn't just leave him alone.

The disgust on her face every fucking time she would look at him, him being beaten up by his biological father as she looked at her reports or clothes while he cried for her to help him.... after the incident of his father's death, her gaze towards him was absolutely the worst, not only she had that disgust, but at that time it was fear.

Like she was looking at the Devil itself at that time.

Did it cost so much to have one look of her with... care? Heck, no one asked to be born, especially him that by five or eight years of his life the only thing he wanted to was to dissapear.

He took a shuddering breath at remembering those nights where he manage to read books that weren't related about medical advances neither case of diseases... one kid's book he found on the street once and cleaned, it was childish and boring compared to the ones he had read, but he remember how it described the love of a mother towards her child.

He wanted that... was it so difficult? Was it so difficult for her to even spare at glance at him like the book itself described it? Was he so broken and disgusting that he wasn't deserved of a mother's genuine love?

Was it so difficult for her to treat him like her son? He remembered one time where at the age of six, he saw a kid on the hospital crying on their mother for just receiving a injection, seeking comfort on her... and when he came to touch the white overcoat of his own mother to catch her attention, the scowl she gave was enough for him to retreat back and stay on his corner.

He forgot how in his childhood days, he just wanted to know and feel like how it was being loved and what that word meant... he saw many parents hugging their childs and praising them, why he couldn't have that...?

Was something that bad for him to be born?

He stopped his train of thought when the door of his bedroom clicked. For a moment, he could care less at anyone who saw him that way, casual clothes as he had this broken look on his face, he could just order them to get out... but when he saw you with a bad on your hand, his body stiffen immediately.

"What are you doing in here?" I thought you were-" he started with a irritated tone of voice, praying that you didn't noticed his moment of weakness.

"I was. But I told her I would compensate on another day spending with her. I told my mom it was kinda of an 'emergency'." You smiled as you settled the tiny bug on the nightstand and frowned slightly at his his eyes, pink instead of the color white in them, but being the stubborn man he is, even with no one around, he refused to spare a single tear.

He sighed, eyes closing as he layed his head in the matress as he pointed with his palm while his free other glived hand pinched his covered nose.

"What is even this?"

You unwrapped it. One fo Kai's favorite pantries with a bit of berries on it. His sweet tooth was something so endearing for you that it made you smile purely only at him.

"I thought a little picked me up would do you some good." You cooed as he slowly opened one of his eyes and looked at what you brought. Immediately sighing, but still reaching for it.

"This will dirty the bedroom and you are the one cleaning after wards." He mumbled as he stared at the sweet on hjs hand enveloped by a napkin.

"Definitely. But will you complain about that 'I missed a spot' or something later, surely." Yoj let out a giggle but immediate stopped when you saw that you got no reaction of his. Only that he placed the sweet back on the box and returned it to the nightstand.

Ok. Serious. This shit was serious.

You sighed and walked around the bed to sit besides him, back resting on the mattress the same as him, watching him carefully.

Neber on your life you would think that you were gonna be so close yet so far from Chisaki. You were literally touching shoulders legs and shoulders with, and he didn't even scoffed or complain it about it! Yet, his mind was so stuck on whatever bad memory of his right now, that it made quite difficult to reach out for him.

Yet, you were persistent. Going for something that you knew that if anyone did that with him, they would be dead on the spot.

But not only were you brave, you knew he cared and allowed you to do it.

You sighed in hope, reaching out a gentle hand to cup his covered cheek and carresed gently. Earning only a look as if he was questioning you.

But before he could mutter one word, you slid your fingers to his ear and slowly took off his black mask, lips on that strict and straight line as his eyebrows furrowed at your actions, but he did nothing to stop you.

You holded his face gently before touching your lips in both of his cheeks and after his lips... he did nothing to stop you still.

Then you pushed his head to rest on your chest where your heart bumps could echo on his ears. His body once stiff relaxed a bit when he heard that sound which helped him to sleep.

Gentle fingers started to scratch carefully and caress his dark brow looks. The amount of love on your actions almost overwhelmed him if it wasn't for his hollow and numb estate of mind.

The voice of his mother echoed on his head along with your heart beat his jaw tighten as his arms came hesitantly to wrap around your waist.

"I'm sorry. I know you don't like this day, not even a bit." You whispered on his hair as you felt him blinking on your skin "But you wanna know something?... I have one, one only reason to thank that woman..." he arched his eyebrow at that, lifting himself from your chest to look down at you like you had grow not only a second, but a third head along.

Ever since he admitted, opened himself to talk about his past for you, your rage towards those two was almost, if not equal, to his own.

You touched forehead with him as you interlocked your fingers with his. Doing your best to put ever live you had towards this man in every word.

"I only have to thank her despicable existence, for making and bringing you on this world... my knight in shinning armor, my yakusa's boss." You sighed dreamily and pecked his lips once again "My devil."

When you opened your eyes the last thing you were expecting to see was his eyes tightly closed as his shoulders trembled.

You cooed an apology immediately, desperately in making up to him but he just let his face fall to your shoulder as he let out a muffled sob.

"Dammit (Y/n)..!" He whispered as he tried to control his breathing and how his heart was hammering against his chest, your fingers on his back, lips on his temple and sweet words only overwhelmed him in a way he hated, despise it to be.

A moment where all the walls he had built on his years of life complete fell...

You must have notice how he was still trying to hold back by the way you embraced him, whispering things that he swear was the reason for his break down.

"I love you, Chisaki Kai. And I always will... hou already protect me, so let me do the same?"

His face fell from your shoulders to your thighs and stomach, burring himself on them as he gripped in your waist like a life saver as he let out all the tears he needed to shed in his silent crying with only a few sobs here and there.

All the love he didn't know he needed and secretly craved ever since childhood, he was receiving right now as a young adult from his partner... how was that even possible? Him? Receiving such a divine thing from such a beautiful and sweet person like youserlf?

He didn't know for ling he cried in your stomach, opting to bury his face on it to hide his shame of acting like he was a weak midget again... savoring like a starved man at your sweet touches and whispers of love confessions and praises.

Who needed the love love of a project of a mother when he had such a beautiful angel like yourself to care for him?

He didn't count how long he stayed there, but he did remener that it wasn't nighttime when you had come back and entered you guys room.

He sighed shakily as his grip lessen only for a bit, getting half or one inch away from you so he could take a deep breath and come back again.

"She really didn't know what she lost." You suddenly said while carresing his dark brow hair as his embrace tighten "You just are the incarnation of perfection, dammit, how blind and dumb were they?"

He tsked and scoffed in your skin.

"Dramatic..." he spoke with a sore voice, gruffly and hoarse as he heard your giggles.

"I speak only the truth here!"

He slowly got up and locked his arms around your waist as he rested his chin on your shoulder and burried his face in your hair. His mysophobia completely forgotten as he enjoyed the love and care from someone that knew him, respect him.... loved him.

"Aw?" You cooed as you hugged his neck "Someone is in the cuddling mood?" He only scoffed and burried his face on your neck even more "I thought cuddling was, what the words you said again?" You stopped hugging his neck to mockingly poke your chin "Ah! 'Useless and disgusting-"

"Dammit woman, just hug me for once." He growled as he tighten his arms in your waist. His words making your heart melt, feeling all warm and fuzzy inside as your arms returned to his neck.

"I love you." You cooed, nuzzling your face on his own shoulder while he squeezed you tight as his response.

Some time passed with both of you locked in the arms of each other, the two of you agreeing to at least lay down until you remembered that you were still on casual clothes not sleeping ones.

Although when you tried to move he only grunted and tighten his embrace over you, face resting on the top of your head.

"Kai I have to change."

"... just five minutes and you go." He whispered lowly in the top of your head, sending shivers even to the tips of your toes.

You forgotten thhat once Kai was in this mood he bargained and refused to let you go. And him being almost in the verge of sleep no less? You were stuck. Amd you couldn't be more happy with that.

At least you brought peace to him on a day where his last came to haunt him.

[kettlewrites]

smile the pain away — hjs

summary: jisung made everything better. even if you had been crying in a janitor’s closet for hours.

warning: angst with a happy ending. you can interpret the relationship between jisung and reader. hopefully this gets rid of vic’s writer’s block thanks. (1.2K words)

you were stressed out to put it simple. everything in your life had continuously gone completely wrong and you finally broke. there was nothing that could have been done to save you from the final tear that would cause you to snap.

you had went several nights without sleep. your heart had ached with the lost of multiple friendships. your grades had started to slip. you felt as if you were finally losing your mind and there was nothing there but a dark tunnel with end for you to arrive to.

the people around you had began to notice that there had been something off with you. although no one had dared to ask, afraid of you snapping at them but little did they know you craved for someone just to ask so you could finally let it off your chest. yet no one did, so you were left with the weight of your problems pushing down at your shoulders while you cried in the first room you had found when you ran out of class.

then there came one person who finally decided to do what other’s didn’t.

jisung was on his way to taking some papers down to one of the music teachers, as it was his job during the last class periods of the day, when he halted to a stop in front of the small janitor’s closet at the end of the hallway. his hands shook in fear as he heard the muffled sobs escaping from the crack of the door that was left open. he thought back to how seungmin used to tell him stories of the school being haunted by a ghost, but at the same time it was seungmin. every ounce of his body had screamed to turn around and run the other direction, but he continued to reach for the door.

to his surprise, he was not greeted by a ghostly entity but instead with the sight of one of the closest people to him in the corner of the janitor’s closet crying.

“y/n?” his voice was quiet, as he still didn’t know whether or not to leave you be or to help you. jisung’s feet were glued tightly to the floor as he continued to hesitate.

“y/n,, are you okay?” he called out again, but there was still no answer from you and that’s when jisung had used that as a push to go sit right next to you.

you had acknowledged his presence when you felt his side touch yours. you could feel his eyes bore a whole straight through you as you were curled into your knees crying.

“hey, do you want to talk about it?” he asks, his arm snakes its way around your shoulders, with his thumb rubbing soft circles into your arm. “it’s okay if you don’t want to, but i feel like it could help.”

“i don’t even know what to say if i did want to talk about it.” you finally mumble out, lifting your head to be greeted with jisung’s saddened eyes.

you had instantly looked back down to your knees, completely embarrassed for him to see you in such a terrible sight. your eyes being a puffy red with tears still streaming down your cheeks, you hated being so vulnerable to someone even if you knew they wouldn’t use it against you.

“that’s a start.” he smiles softly, “we don’t even have to talk about it. i can tell you a joke if that helps you feel better or talk about something else to help get your mind off of things.”

you nodded, gulping down before raising your head to look at him again. his eyes were glossed over as if he was close to tears but maybe his eyes had always been this shiny.

“i have a story of seungmin falling down the stairs one morning,” he tries his best to hold the chuckle that sat in his throat now, “he threatened me to never tell anyone and to forget about it, but how could i forget? it’s seungmin. falling down a flight of stairs.”

jisung’s heart did a flip when he saw your lips twitch into a smile, his mind racing as he found himself making progress of helping you feel better.

“it was at the beginning of the school year. we were both running late because his mom took the wrong turn while taking the both of us to school so the two of us were running to class so we weren’t caught by the tardy bell. seungmin’s class was right next to mine and it was upstairs,” jisung couldn’t hold back his giggles anymore as he giggled between every word, “i was a bit behind him because who knew seungmin could run so fast. then when he reached the middle step of the stairs while i was only on the first, i just watch seungmin come tumbling down.”

and now you were smiling even if it had been a small one, you were doing something you hadn’t done in weeks.

“i couldn’t stop laughing, but i was a good friend first and checked if he was okay before laughing again. he was bright red and yelling at me to shut up. i’ve never seen seungmin so embarrassed, but i never told anyone until now.” 

with jisung laughing, it caused you to softly laugh along with him and it caused him to beam with the brightest smile you have ever seen.

“i’m so happy that you’re laughing now.” he says, pulling you closer to him with the arm he had around you, “you know it made me really sad to see you so down. you can always come to me for anything and i’ll do everything in my best abilities to bring that pretty smile back on your face.”

“it’s not pretty shut up.” you laugh, nudging him away with your shoulder teasingly.

“would you like a hug before we go back to class so we don’t get in trouble for getting caught in the janitor’s closet?” he asks, after helping you get back on your feet.

“why not?” you smile, opening your arms to receive his hug. quickly realizing the answer to your own question.

his hug had started off like every other one, tight but warm and lovingly before he used every ounce of strength in his body to squeeze you until you felt as if your ribs were being crushed.

“jisung i can’t breathe!” you laugh as you try to squirm out of his hold.

after he lets you go, jisung takes a hold of your hand with a softened smile on his face unlike the one before.

“i’m being serious. just come to me whenever you’re feeling sad because i don’t want to see you crying alone anymore. come to me if you want to cry and i’ll cry with you. promise?”

with slight hesitation you wanted to say no, but you knew that he was being genuine unlike others had been before. his hand still holding yours and that smile finding its way to reflect on your own face.

“i promise.”

[swissnavy]

The Lube Diaries 

9 Women Get Real About Lube

FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM @UNBOUNDBABES

Many of us overlook lube as a factor in the sexual equation, whether it’s during a masturbating sesh or sex with a partner/s. There is still a sense of shame, particularly among women, when it comes to lube. Lots of us are afraid of being labeled as sexually deficient or simply “not into it” if we need or want to use lube during sex.

This fear is super fucking real, too, and it’s a result of lube-shaming. According to sex and relationship expert Dr. Jess O’Reilly, "lube-shaming erroneously suggests that if a woman is turned on, she'll get wet. But vaginal lubrication is controlled by the autonomic nervous system and is beyond our conscious control.” Basically, you can be super turned on, but totally dry, and vice-versa.

Personal lubricant exists for many reasons–the first being to reduce the dryness and irritation that is so often attributed to discomfort or pain during sex (particularly penetrative sex). It can be a game-changing aid for women who suffer from vaginal dryness (17% of women aged 18-50 experience problems with vaginal dryness).

But the best part about lube is that it’s not used solely for the purpose of combating discomfort. It can literally make sex better–physically and, as a result, mentally. In a 2011 study, 2,500 women used lubricant regularly over a 5-week period. Results show that the use of a water-based or silicone-based lubricant was associated with higher ratings of sexual pleasure and satisfaction for solo sex and penile-vaginal sex!

So it’s time to reshape the lube narrative. To begin, we asked nine women of sex-related and non sex-related professions the question: “What is your relationship like with lube?”

Rachel Gelman, DPT, PT:

Lube is always a great idea. Although, the type/quality of lube matters. Ideally you want a lube without parabens, glycols, microbicides, and preservatives. Ideally you want a lube that is similar to your body's pH. A healthy, happy vagina has a pH of 3.8-4.5 and the rectum is around 7.0, so you want a lube that matches or is a slightly higher pH than your natural environment. Lack of lubrication or vaginal dryness can contribute to or cause pain with sex. Adding lubrication may not address the underlying cause, such as a hormonal imbalance, but it can definitely help decrease the symptoms. Depending on what data you look at ~40% of women under 60 report sexual dysfunction and up to 60% of women will experience pelvic pain, I can't say what percentage is due to lack of lubrication, but if someone is having pain with sex adding in a lubricant may help and most likely won't make it worse, unless someone uses a poor quality lubricant.

I think lube should be used when engaging in any type of sexual activity, including masturbation and when using sex toys. Be mindful that if you are using condoms  (which most people should because safe sex is the best sex) to use a water-based lubricant as oil-based lubricant can degrade the latex.

I think there is a stigma around lubricant, and people think they shouldn't need it and if they do something is "wrong" with them. I always think of that scene in the movie Superbad where Jonah Hill makes fun of Michael Cera's character for having lube because the girls "are young" and won't need lube. Also, some people have had bad experiences with lube, it irritated them or they had a bad reaction to it, and again that may have been due to using a lubricant that wasn't good quality. I always recommend patients try different kinds, so I am always giving an array of samples or having patients go to Good Vibrations, where they have a large selection in sample sizes for people to try.

The World Health Organization, also has a nice chart that shows the different lubes and their pH/osmolarity.

Sloane Steel, writer:

When I was first having sex at the ripe ol' age of 15 (sorry, Mom!) I never used lube. Actually, I didn't end up using lube until well into my 20's. I thought lube was for anal sex or women who needed help producing lubrication on their own. It wasn't until I actually tried anal that I realized lube was FREAKING AMAZING.

Lube made EVERYTHING feel way better. Lube made everything feel more sensitive and I enjoyed sex SO much more once I brought my lube friends into the game. Now I consider myself a lube aficionado. I mean, I don't exactly need to buy a 55-gallon drum of it on Amazon (that exists...for what? I dunno but the reviews are incredible.) But I definitely use it almost every time I have sex because, why the hell not? I personally like sex to feel like a Slip n' Slide.

Scientwehst:

I don’t really remember a time when I thought, “if I use lube I’m sexually deficient.” In fact, I’m the lube queen [ha]. With guys, I would always suggest bringing out the coconut oil or some lotion to do a proper HJ. Lube just makes sex more enjoyable all around. No matter how wet you start off in the beginning, after a long session of intercourse, you’re bound to get dry and with dryness comes irritation. I actually dislike using spit for lube. I know, It sounds vanilla, but I just think its gross to have to hock spit every time for lubrication. Imagine a night out partying, with partying comes drinking, smoking, eating, etc. Then you head back to your house, you're ready to hook up and the guy just spits on you. Just feels bacteria ridden lol. Our mouths are dirty! Also, with clitoral stimulation, how many times do I need to spit on my fingers when I could just use a little scoop of coconut oil, one time. It smells good, it tastes good, the consistency is perfect, and it helps prevent yeast infections. What’s better than that?

Zoe, photographer:

for a long time i didn't understand why sex hurt so much for me. even when it felt "good" it didn't feel "great" and growing up i didn't have the safest experience with sex so subconsciously i think it has affected how my body works during arousal. it takes a lot for me to get wet and even when i do i'm not like a faucet dripping with cum as these rappers would say (lol.) when i first started using lube i was with my partner for awhile and it was something we both knew made everything more enjoyable not only for me but for her as well. in the beginning i did have some feelings of insecurity having to pull out a third party during sex and even now i battle stigmas within my own thoughts that come along with using lubricant, especially when sleeping with new people but for the most part i'm at a place where i don’t internalize any shame with using lube.

i think there's a lot of roadblocks when it comes to female pleasure and the ridicule of using lube is one of 'em. even if you are someone who gets really wet on your own there's no harm in exploring lubricants. some have cooling sensations, some warm it up down there, some even have thc in them (highly recommend). using lube has made me a more explorative person when it comes to my sex life because i'm always popping into local sex shops to cop some and i end up looking at other things along the way.

Elle Stanger, Podcast Host, Sex and Relationship writer:

I spent four years helping customers pick out and purchase lubricants while I worked in adult retail shops, and I recognized that many of our buyers exhibited shame or discomfort around their purchase. I've even heard women exclaim, "I don't NEED that", as if wanting if the purchase of lubricant was indicative of some kind of inadequacy. It's no surprise really, much of our society measures arousal by how "big or hard" erections are, and how "wet and tight" vaginas and vulvas are.

There are lots of reasons that people like to use lubricant: Did you know that prescription medication dries out some vulvas? So does stress, sickness, or just your own genetics can determine how much natural lubricant a person's body makes on it's own. Besides, it's fun! People with penises and vaginas can play with silicone lube, waterbased lube, flavored, all-natural, there are so many options and many of them are body safe and ethically sourced. I like to vary my activities and the addition or subtraction of different kinds of stimulation with toys or lubes makes for a diverse and creative sex life.

@Falkyou, web app developer, cybersecurity ms candidate, model:

There is a stigma that exists around lube that if you need it then you’re unfortunately just not a well-oiled car. In theory, this sounds legit because we lack proper sex education in our society. However, in reality, lube is the savior you’ve been waiting on to take your experience to the next level.

This is because not only does lube help cancel out friction but it is an enhancement to whatever activity in which you’re currently partaking. It has properties that have the potential to create sensations the body alone cannot - like an icy feeling. It’s like you can drive a Ford on the reg but if you had the chance to drive a Lambo for a few extra dollars you just wouldn’t pass that up.

@shesvague:

Whatever you need to use to have a wonderful and enjoyable sexual experience, use it. Don’t ever feel ashamed. Always do what’s best for your mind body and soul.

If lube is a staple in your sex life, amazing! If it’s not, amazing!

I love lube and I find it really enhances sex and gives me ultimate pleasure. But I don’t always need it, it’s if I choose to and want to. Isn’t that what we all truely want from sex? For our minds to be blown and our bodies to be sent into another dimension? I certainly do.

You can never go wrong with a bit of extra lubrication.

Halle:

I think lube and the proper use of it should be taught in sex education. When I was in high school, there was so much myth around the use of lube that no really knew how to use it and probably still don’t. Haha.

Millie (IG: @milliesykess):

In the earlier, more confused years of my sexual exploration the thought of mentioning lube was pretty mortifying. To me, the suggestion of lube screamed ‘Not good enough! You’re dryer than the Sahara desert down there! He needs use tube juice to fix all that is wrong with you and your malfunctioning parts..pathetic!’. Unfortunately, I hadn’t gaged that my parts were working just fine, he just didn’t quite know how to operate them.

Now, I keep a bottle handy in my top drawer at all times. If I feel the slightest chafe, or if i’m just in the mood to get slippery I’m opening that drawer. It’s an awesome bedside companion, an aid for me rather than a symbol of my sexual inadequacy.

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[ea-seungcheol-blog]

glitch || csc & hjs

event starter for @ea-jisoo​

Everything was moving too fast for Seungcheol to comprehend.

It had been a tough day at school and then an even longer day at work where Seungcheol was worked to the core by one of his fitness-crazy Fern clients. He had planned on taking a long relaxing bath when he reached home, scarf down the leftover macaroni his mother had left him just a few days ago and fall asleep to reruns of High Skies Life – the reality show for HS Entertainment trainees.

But the moment he stepped into his apartment his notifications started blaring off, signalling that something was wrong, very wrong. One glance at his screen and his heart was falling from his chest.

1.750.

1.750 stars in less than a second.

It was funny how the first thing that came mind was a passing quote from a literature class he had taken as an elective a year ago: “Fame is a fickle food upon a shifting plate.”

The second thing he felt was fear, followed very closely by shame.

It didn’t help that there were men at the door either, forcibly evicting him from his home.

“Open the door Mr Choi!” someone yelled from the other side, “Things will go much faster if you cooperate with us!”

Seungcheol was a shaking mess. He was beyond terrified and had no idea what to do with himself with such a low rating.

How could something like this happen? Did he do something wrong? Who did he anger? How could he suddenly lose two whole stars?

“Mr Choi!”

“Coming, coming!” Seungcheol shouted back, trying to hide the tremor in his voice. When he finally came to the door, two of the three men were looking at him with little more than disgust while the third merely read over his notes, paying Seungcheol no attention at all.

“Mr Choi Seungcheol,” the one with the clipboard read, “You are hereby sent to live in Field due to insufficient ratings and must surrender the keys to your Grass home immediately to avoid penalty and further point docking.”

“No!” Seungcheol surprised himself with his bravery. “T-there must be some kind of mistake! I’m – was – a 3.750! I can’t have lost so many stars so quickly!”

The ma looked at him fiercely. “The system makes no mistakes Mr Choi.”

“B-but–”

The man didn’t wait for him to continue. With a subtle nod the other two came from behind the man and pulled Seungcheol from the doorway, barging into his home without his permission.

“Wait, no!” Seungcheol cried, but they were already rummaging around the drawers, presumably searching for the key card and anything else that had to be confiscated from Seungcheol due to his drop in ratings.

“Wait please!” Seungcheol turned to the man in charge. “At least let me get my things. I-I won’t cause any trouble, just let me grab some clothes and my belongings.”

At Seungcheol’s words the two men in the house paused, looking to the one outside for instructions. The man nodded again.

“Thank you,” Seungcheol whispered. He scrambled back into the house, avoiding all eye contact. He grabbed a duffel bag from his closet and hastily stuffed clothes, underwear, a toothbrush and other things he may need inside. He grabbed several microchips too, which contained his school notes and other important documents.

It was funny how his whole life could seemingly fit into one bag.

“Are you ready?” a gruff voice called from behind him. Seungcheol was overcome by a sudden empty feeling when he looked back at his home one last time.

“We’ll leave your things the way they are until you find a new permanent address in Field,” the man was saying. “It will stay untouched up for a month after which, if the status of your ratings does not change and you have not yet moved your belongings, all will be collected and disposed of by The Central Waste Management Facility.”

Seungcheol nodded numbly, hearing but not really listening.

The men escorted him out the door. Seungcheol took one last glance over his shoulder. The men watched him back just as sternly. Slowly, Seungcheol turned back around and trudged away from what was once his home.

Whatever courage that had possessed him to walk away from the men and not beg at their feet to let him stay was lost the moment he stepped onto the city streets of Grass. It was close to midnight but there were still people about and they looked at him oddly, whispering amongst each other and some even pointing rudely at him.

Seungcheol felt more ashamed than ever.

He couldn’t even go to his parents knowing he might jeopardize their rating and bring shame to his family. Besides, he wouldn’t want to hear the disappointment in their voices despite how supportive he was sure they would be.

He didn’t want to hurt them like that.

Seungcheol ducked his head, walking fast. There was only one way to Field in any case and Seungcheol would just have to figure things out when he got there.

Nervousness and fear gnawed away at him. It wasn’t the first time he would be getting on a train to Field, but it would be first time he went there because he belonged.

Questions raced through his mind. What was he going to do? Where would he live? How would he survive? Would his Fern clients still want him as their personal trainer? Would people still want to watch his vlogs?

1.750. That was nothing. A class above criminals. The people with no homes and no food. It was the people he had been trying to help through his volunteer work.

And now he was one of them.

Seungcheol felt the tears before he registered he was crying. The fear was so loud.

He would have nowhere to live. Nothing at all.

He was suddenly so lonely.

Seungcheol was in the midst of a total breakdown surrounded by strangers who did nothing but stare at him. They’re probably giving me low ratings even now, Seungcheol thought, reflecting on how ugly and undesirable he must look, sobbing on the train platform like this.

But then, amongst the judgemental crowd, a familiar face.

A kind face; one that bore no disgust or malice, just the same sad eyes and neutral expression.

Seungcheol didn’t realize how much he loved and craved that face until now.

His feet were moving forward before he even realized it.

“Jisoo,” he whispered, when he reached the boy. The other just smiled softly back. A quick look at his screen told Seungcheol that Jisoo had dropped in ratings too.

It is because of me? Seungcheol suddenly panicked.

But Jisoo remained composed which made him calm down too.

“Jisoo,” Seungcheol repeated, even softer and more vulnerable than before. “I… I don’t know what to do.”

[oceansandroses]

Feels

Its been while since I last wrote here. Today I woke up dreaming abt Vind, just seeing and acknowledging his presence. There was a part about my mom, leaving home but yet becoming my brother and my tutor which indirectly was somewhat a good change for all 3 of us. 

The morning started off on a tiring, stressful and slightly fearful note. 

I went on to do my essay before thankfully checking my fb notifications to find out about today’s social by the gardens. Made my way down despite getting slightly lost and missing my bus but all that negativeness didnt really bring me down since I was pretty excited about dancing again. My day was officially made when my first dance went to the bachata instructor which taught me quite a bit. I tried kizomba with him and Patrick too which I was very delighted to see. He remembered and recognized me too. Boyan (the french guy) was there too as well as Sofia who came later on. Oh and I danced with Liu Tong (the really nice PRC guy). 

The vibes of the garden and platform we danced at was amazing. The weather was perfect (felt like i was dancing in AC) just that it was kinda sad that people were all leaving, I was one of them which people asked about too. I didnt really know much people but I had a really good time dancing there. Did a session of Rueda too with all the commands although I barely know any of the words, just a few. Thank god of guys remembering what to do and I just have to follow. Girls dont get too complicated steps anyways. 

My day was slightly ruined by getting pretty lost again, the GPS refused to work with me, it refused to budge in any way so I had to depend on asking people. Thank god the garden was somewhere near town so I managed to get to town and wait for 20 min for th bus back to ryd. Sigh all that time could be spent dancing abt 5 more dances.

Got back by 9 20 then by the time dinner and all was made, it was 10. Did laundry, my essay and suddenly im just caught in this mix of feelings again. It feels as though alot has happened since the past few days. I went out for the first time on a weekend, attended a house party, obviously met a few drunks, a couple of Sweds and got myself into pretty annoying trouble with some guy, joao kissing me on my cheek and forehead. I told hj abt it and she was like he fucked up and she also said the forehead was an intimate spot. And that made me feel really bad about things. Me being me, told robz about it the next day. I dont hide things but I was just so afraid I would lose him. 

I got kissed in a club on my cheek by Casey, a ex SJI/TK tracker that I used to train with back in my sec sch days. Vind raged at me for that and things between us nvr turned for the better after that incident. It scarred him and he nvr had faith in me, and that was possibly the reason why things between us ended so badly. I felt pretty damaged after that incident, telling the truth didnt do me any good and I had to constantly deal with him doubting me and saying the meanest things to me bcos of his lack of faith in me, and it hurt. 

I was so worried and upset it might happen with Robz. Maybe something in me was really wrong, why could guys get away and do what they wanted and I just didnt dare to stand up or I didnt know how to react. I was scared. I dont know of what but th fear, the anxiety and the unhappiness was all there. Vind’s words would often come in at this time, slut shaming, saying bcos I was asking for it, I dressed for it. But i didnt. I made sure I was well covered, no cleavage, no legs but just a body hugging skirt that was below my knee and Jack to serve as my ‘body guard’. 

After telling Robin about it, his first reaction was almost like Vind. He was quiet, but he didnt explode. The questions came, in a similar manner, he was very angry about it and it was my fault. He didnt really seem lik ehe wanted to talk to me when I asked him to, and he said he would only talk to me when he felt like it. My stomach flipped. But it was my fault. I couldnt say anything about it. Like Vind, I was told to block and unfriend the guy which I did without qualms since I barely know him and him hitting on me was nvr really the ‘shiok im wanted’ feels. I just didnt want trouble in any case especially when I had and loved Robin so much. 

Moments like that where Robin acted like Vind still stays fresh in my head. I wish I could forget it cos he’s not Vind. Sometimes I still wonder where did Vind and I go wrong, did i really love him or was it just Stockholm syndrome or? If he was Chinese (my mom is slightly racist) would we have worked out? I realized we dated for almost 1.5 years thou, and yet throughout that period time tgt with him felt hellish 7 out of 8 of the time. 

Robz also recently asked me if I thought he was lazy or complacent, like he was not willing to OT etc. I told him I would support him regardless, he just has to do what he wants cos i believe in him. He said he truly believes in work-life balance and that he doesnt need th money or like to promote as fast as his peers. Working beyond his regular hours esp till 9/10 on a regular basis was too much for him. 

 I told him my plans of doing as much as I can for the first few years of my career, at least till I am financially stable and all so as to provide my parents the best of at least material well being. As much as I could see where Robin was coming from, a part of me was wondering if that really was the case would that be my actual response? That it was alright for him to do as he pleased, not promote as fast or wayang as much. Would I be an evil bitch to compare with my peers, would I get selfish and ugly? Would I want or demand more materially? Sometimes being self aware of potential ugliness is in itself so ugly already. I wonder how much more of myself am I covered in such horridness.