#starker ramblings

[kittenninja14]

just a small irondad +spiderson doodle from my current wip that I just loved so I decided to post it cuz y not >:3

https://www.tumblr.com/kittenninja14/731916269075480576/hey-yall-i-just-found-this-incredible-video-and

[pastself]

Peter telling Tony he “only has a body count of 2”, and Tony not wanting to judge but freaking out about who Peter killed and how he can hide the evidence. When Peter asks Tony the same, and is told, with great seriousness that “I lost count after 1000, kid, I don’t like to think about it” — Peter ALSO freaks out, because how can he compare to that?

Somehow this misunderstanding lasts weeks, with Tony desperate to work out where Peter hid the bodies and angsty that the kid hadn’t asked for Tony’s help in the first place. FRIDAY finally has to step in and explain it to them both and they���re both so relieved — until Tony works out that that means Peter slept with other people and stifles the urge to make those fuckers fit to the original definition of “body count”, and until Peter realizes that “lost count after 100” isn’t much more reassuring.

[frogdottir]

Ok I saw this reblog about how Irondad doesn’t work because “Peter ‘eat the rich’ Parker” would never, and yes! I agree, /that/ comic canon Peter Parker wouldn’t vibe with it.

However, we’ve gotta acknowledge that the Marvel Universe has become an endless stream of fanfiction— and no, I’m not talking about AO3.

You have MCU Peter - which is who all the irondadders are referencing. He’s a teenager. Yes, I agree the dynamic is more hardheaded than not, but he’s looked up to Tony his whole life. Tony saved him from being blasted at an expo. Theres some hero worship going on there fs, but he’s his own person too whos gotta figure himself out.

You have Spiderverse Peter. Specifically Peter B. Parker. He has a baby now :) He has probably never met/heard of ironman and wouldn’t get along with him. They’re both too far on the stubborn asshole radar imo.

You have Tobey!Peter and Andrew!Peter - both of which have no idea what an Avenger is, nor do I think being apart of a team would float their boat. Maybe Andrew!Peter, but I’m positive the dynamic would be different.

LETS NOT FORGET BILLIONAIRE PETER PARKER FROM THE SPIDEYPOOL SERIES. The guy IS the rich. Honestly, as much as I love that series and the Spider-Man Deadpool dynamic, not my fave take on Peter.

Edit: it has come to my attention that this Spider-Man is same universe as Superior Spider-Man (who wasn’t mentioned purposefully) Which makes a lot more since IMO.

multiverse multiverse multiverse

Then theres comics where Peter asks Tony for rich people favors— like borrowing his private space pod thing to get away from the world for a hot minute with Mary Jane??

Edit: yes, he’s terminally ill and he deserves a break— but going to space in multimillion dollar tech is different than a beach weekend and you and I could not afford that !!😭

Theres just /so/ much content

- Superior Spider-Man

- The Darkhold one shot

- the original TASM comics

- the infinity comic series

And theres like a shit ton more that I’m just not gonna mention.

My point — there are so many variations of this character that saying “never” about certain dynamics fails to acknowledge the version of Peter Parker people were introduced to. Personally, I read stories and comics from a ton of different angles, but if you don’t, thats alright.

Your Peter Parker is yours <3

[blackknightax]

I decided to do research to do both Square Enix properties in a row. Yesterday I did Final Fantasy with Kain, so today, I did a little research into Dragon quest. Dragon Quest is another long running RPG franchise, running as far back as the NES. Where Final Fantasy was made by Squaresoft, Dragon Quest was made by Enix. When the two companies merged, Or one bought the other, I forgot which happened. That being said. Let’s Discuss this goofy ass franchise.

I’ll admit, I have never played a proper dragon quest game. I had heard of it but not played any and only recently did I realize how far back it ran. Well, recently being the last couple years. Like Final fantasy there are a lot of mainline numbered entries, I believe 11 or 12. I didn’t do a lot of research mind you, just some. It also has quite the number of spin offs. Between Dragon Quest Monsters, Builders, and even a mech battling game (i forgot that one’s name), there isn’t a shortage of ways to play dragon quest. My only exposure to the Dragon Quest series directly is one of the spinoffs. I played Dragon Quest Builders 2, I got it to play it with my wife but the multiplayer in that game is very limiting. To the point of not really being fun to play multiplayer but it is a very fun game, if really easy game.

I feel like I need to discuss something off topic real quick. Akira Toriyama has been involved with this franchise since the beginning of it. As a result it has always carried his art style and it still does to this day. Even Dragon Quest Animes have a very Dragon Ball art style, because the Dragon Ball art style is also the Dragon Quest art style. I just wanted to mention this because the man is resting in peace currently. Thus any tribute to the Dragon Quest Franchise is a tribute to the legacy of Akira Toriyama.

So since the character we have in the game the Hero, it is a better representation of Dragon Quest than Cloud and his stage were to Final Fantasy. As the hero is a representation of multiple games, I don’t recall which 4 were chosen but I know than one is the most recent hero at the time, and also the the hero of Dragon Quest 3, canonical name Erdric. This means it’s hard to choose party members, because the hero has a lot of abilities. So I decided to do research into recurring villains in the franchise so I can at least add a recognizable face. For that reason I’ve chosen…

This is Estark. He’s a recurring boss monster in several games. His first appearance was Dragon Quest 4 where, he played an important role and was a difficult boss. In a lot of future games he became a Superboss, a term for an RPG battle that is designed to be difficult and played with end game gear, often harder than the final boss itself. Most recently he plays a very important role in the most recent Dragon Quest Monsters, 3 bosses share his name but take on drastically different forms. That being said and done, he’d actually be kinda interesting from a smash perspective because he’s a not only a dual wielding sword character, but he’d also be a large heavy bodied sword character. He’d be the first in both regards. Now, because he isn’t a party member in the franchise he obviously wouldn’t have Hero’s random menu mechanics. But he can still be quite fun. So, let’s go! So since he has always had the gimmick that he always acts twice per turn, let’s give him a mechanics that he can cancel any one special move into one other.

For his Neutral B he uses disruptive wave. He performs the attack with his mouth implying a sound attack. The attack is charagable and increases in damage and more importantly stun time.

For his Up B he grows wings and flies up. This is in reference to one of the other monsters that share his name and form. He flies at an angle with one sword in front or him and one behind him, creating a large hit box.

For his Side B he will perform a version of Hellfire Hurricane, he rushes forward with both a wind and fire effect. He does damage with his body and set’s the floor on fire if used on the ground. If used in the air he also spins causing the attack to do a few hits rather than one.

For his Down B he performs the ability C-c-cold breath. For this he blows on the ground with the intent to freeze all enemies around him. If used on the ground it freezes the ground and makes it slick to everyone but the Ice Climbers (because they don’t slip on ice). When used in the air he stops for a second and the attack meteor smashes.

I think this a great character to add from Dragon Quest. I think he looks real cool and he’s a recurring villain character. I really like him as addition. But I’m curious, Dragon Quest fans, who would YOU add?

Also, he apparently has a son Called Starkers

“I’m Just like Daddy!” - my wife upon seeing him.

He is definitely very baby

[thegreenmetblue]

I haven’t been active in the starker fandom since like 2021 but all of these the crowded room gifs are making me FEEL things and now I’m considering restarting my old starker sideblog lmao

oh boi those are delicious

IDK WHO YOU ARE buttt- ive been away for like a year too and there was a lot of people i loved to see on my dash that are now out of the fandom or insctive so i know id love seeing you again 😭

but im glad those hotdamn gay gifs of tom made you consider coming back 🙈

[daemonn]

I got inspired by THIS which is a wonderful concept but with MY messy brain goo I thinkin' this, especially for other shippers like me out there just MIGHT be into it.

Peter Parker is a waiter and Fae, living with his Aunt May and adopted sister MJ. One night while working Peter meets Tony, the first ever vampire to walk into Barnes (yes because shapeshifter Bucky just tickles me so right). Immediately he's smitten with Tony and so begins the love story of them BUT with a twist.

In place of Eric Northman, we have Wanda Maximoff; second oldest vampire to Godric AND first hybrid of vampire and witch bloodline. She's accustomed to ruthless people and lifestyle HOWEVER, Peter's caring yet feisty demeanor causes an enamoring even she doesn't understand. But she ISN'T about to lose it anytime soon.

So begins as well an unimagined throuple situation between Tony a vampire, Peter a Fae and Wanda a first ever hidden hybrid. But BOTH willing to go beyond normal lengths to protect their precious little Fae boyfriend and find common ground where they didn't before.

[thespiderlingandthetinman]

Hello fellow writers and lovely readers!

I’m officially starting up this blog!

I hope to write the occasional starker drabble here and may post some stuff on AO3 too!

My asks are open and anonymous, and I will most likely write your requests, whatever it may be!

I hope I can bring you some joy with my writing!

[kayluh1915]

DISCLAIMER

Happy 2023! Let's hope we all reach our writing goals this year!

Perfect

Landslide

I saw someone on here make this so I saved it and did it. I thought I liked the post so I could give the creator credit, but I didn't so I don't know who to credit. So, please know that I did not create this!

[crossoverfamily]

Okay this is hilariously similar to some ideas I have, because I have a whole thing about my Peter making "echoes" of himself to find Tonys who don't weren't going to have a Peter in their universe (to either be born into it or just pop up into existence) for ReasonsTM, and I have multiple ideas of how SIM came to be, with most having SIM not being "under influence" (or not anymore), and I can't say I had thought of a proper dark SIM Starker yet, but there's an inherent grey area to having Peter willingly be with SIM that I was already thinking about, so now my brain is very much starting to buzz with more stuff to consider XD

In short: I can't say I had thought of that exact idea yet, but I did have similar ideas in mind and I can feel more ideas rising now. Especially because it's not just post NWH Peter I can play with, but Soul!Peter and Crossover!Peter who each have their own unique set of additional abilities. And who are just as able to become darker willingly. They're all still canon Peter though, which makes it even better for me, because there are so many ways I can think to make Peter greyer or darker and it's still our canon Peter who evolved.

If I had to speak of how I personally imagine darker Peter, the word that comes to mind is "predator/hunter", in the way whoever bring out that dark side becomes his prey. SIM is similar, but SIM is all about dominance, he's the top of the chain, he's powerful and not afraid to apply his power. But darker Peter? You don't see him coming, because by the time you realize he can be much darker than you ever knew, it's already too late. You don't see him coming, because he's not just dark or just not-dark. He's both. He's kind, he cares, but touch the wrong buttons, and you effectively cause him to not care about you personally anymore. SIM is the one everyone knows to be afraid of, but Peter is the one no one knows to be afraid off until it's too late.

I want to say not even SIM knew at first, because he only discovers it when someone actually manage to be a real threat to SIM, and Peter steps in. SIM could see into Peter and how he wasn't all sunshine and rainbow, but he actually never expected that Peter could cross certain lines. Until Peter did, all for SIM. If they weren't together by then, they certainly are after that~

And yeah, in general, I just think back to what I said in my original post: I feel like a Peter that stops holding back/caring would be absolutely terrifying. I love that the same can be said for SIM, he's absolutely terrifying because he doesn't care and/or doesn't hold back. At the same time, I feel both of them, depending how you imagine SIM came to be and/or is like, can be said to care too much. About each other, about the things that still matter to them, about whatever goals they might have. They are also both intelligent, both could figure out plans that others don't see coming. A power couple, who isn't afraid anymore to cross lines.

It's just so fascinating to consider why Peter turns darker, like obviously there can be verses where he's that way from the start, but it's quite fun to imagine how canon Peter would become greyer, then darker, or fast pace into becoming darker.

I don't know if it's something that is meant to be picked up and/or has been picked up before and I'm just late to the party, but I ended up realizing that there is a strong parallel between Peter vs Green Goblin and Tony vs Winter Soldier.

Green Goblin and Winter Solider both relates to the actual person (Norman and Bucky) not having control of their own body, of their own actions. And both end up the murderer of parent(al figure) for Tony&Peter.

As a result, the parallel continue as both Tony and Peter end up fighting with intent to kill despite knowing the actual person wasn't in control of their own actions.

The major difference, however, is when the murder happened, and how much time passed between the "moment of truth" and the attempt to kill the murderer. And when I think about it, Peter was much more cold blooded than Tony.

Tony did seem to want to kill Bucky during that fight, but at the same time, he wasn't so "lost" that he tried to kill Steve, and I did wonder because after the initial few moments where Tony really went for it (tried to blast and missile Bucky right in the face), the only moment Tony had a real chance for a mortal blow was by the end, he's the closest to Bucky who is on the ground, and Steve is a few feets away, and I was stuck by how Steve needed a few moments to stand back up, and Tony actually wait (when he could have used those few moments to shoot at Bucky that was right there). Maybe it's because the actual loss is years in the past for Tony, but at the same time, discovering it was murder, not accident, can easily make it feel anew again.

But most importantly, Tony was immediately fighting Bucky right after the "moment of truth". There was no time to "cool off" between discovering the truth ("reliving" the murder) and being able to do something about it. But Peter?

Peter actually has time pass between May's death, and being able to face Green Goblin again. He's able to have time with Ned, MJ, the other Peters. Yet, when the occasion came, he still goes for a fight to kill with the Goblin, and would have dealt the killing blow if Peter 2 didn't step in.

With that said, I do feel that Peter's mental and emotional state have to be taken into account. The list, in my head, goes like this: it all starts when alien attacks and he goes on the spaceship with Tony, ends up fighting Thanos knowing fate of universe is at stake, end up loosing, end up dying, suddenly awake and sure he's told its been five years but at that point I feel it doesn't process yet, is back into battle for the sake of the universe and it's a real war like battlefield, looses Tony, returns to "normal life" except nothing is normal (the reality of having been gone five years sets in, having to deal with grief, all the expectations placed on Spider-Man), desperatly tries to have some sort of normal high schooler life and vacation, we all know how that vacation went, he's barely returned from it attempting to once more have some sort of "normal life" back when his identity is revealed and he's accused of murder, everything super stressful, he tries to do something that backfires, and it culminates into loosing May.

So yeah, I feel like Peter has been under a lot of stress that he's barely been able to deal with, which can explain why he goes for the kill without it being the heat of the moment (unlike Tony). All that stress, and grief, turned into anger that last him and make him cold blooded when he sees the chance to fight and kill. Then again, Tony himself wasn't stress free when he learned the truth. He also learn/realize at the same time that Steve has known and hide the truth, all the Avengers he's known for years have either been MIA for a while or have sided against him, he almost lost Rhodey, and there's all the lingering PTSD plus the knowing something big is coming. So Tony isn't really stress free when he ends up fighting Bucky.

Still, for all there's parallels between Tony and Peter emotion mental states, plus the general situation, and how they react, which is all very similar, I just can't help seeing that one difference in which Tony acted in the heat of the moment, but not Peter. Funnily, they do have another parallel in how there is someone to stop them (Steve, Peter 2). But yeah, I just love that it shows Peter has his own dark side. And how terrifying it would be if he stopped holding back and/or stops caring about not hurting someone else.

And just, my brain stays stuck of the idea that Tony didn't have any real time to process "this guy who killed my parents also wasn't in control", whereas Peter did. Again, Peter had a lot of stuff that piled up, and his loss is very fresh, so that likely plays a part.

But the way that Peter shows such a cold blooded dark side, whereas Tony in a similar situation only was "heat of the moment"? Delicious.

(You can bet this influence my Peter-muse, because there's no going back from having seen your own dark side in such a way. He can't forget what he was willing to do, and I'm tempted to consider the idea that he doesn't feel regret. He knows, objectively, that Norman wasn't in control, and to some degree, he's glad that he was stopped, yet he just doesn't feel "horrified" or genuine deep regret about how he acted. He's touched his dark side, his cold blooded anger, and there's so much to play with. Does it scare him? Or does it "scare" him because he realizes he's not afraid of that dark side?).

(Additional thought: I've toyed with the idea that Peter's cold blooded anger start to find a new target. May wouldn't have died if there had been no need for the spell, and there would have been no need for the spell if Beck hadn't revealed his identity and made him look like a murderer. So Beck receives part of Peter's anger, but then it doesn't stop. Because a part of Peter feels like "none of this would have happened is Tony was still alive", and this same part feels like it's all Thanos fault that Peter lost Tony. So Peter feels pretty cold about Beck and Thanos, and if one of them was to threaten (or threaten again) Tony's life or someone else Peter cares about? That dark, cold blooded willingness to maim and kill miiiiiight show up again. Same goes to anyone who threatens Tony's life, he lost him once, he won't loose him again. The joy of writing ideas for time shenanigans: canon happened, but people dead are alive again, and such situations as "oh no you won't kill him again, not on my watch" can happen~).

(Do imagine Tony's shock when Peter who he's never seen be anywhere really "dark" goes cold and lethal due to someone threatening Tony's life. And any other reactions you want to imagine. I know I am~).

[skipper1331]

Tell and show the world // Lina Magull

a/n: based off this request. Please enjoy:D

"Lina" you said as you stood behind the kitchen counter, chopping the vegetables for dinner. "Ja, liebe?" the brunette asked, eyes looking away from her laptop screen. "I‘ve been thinking…" you mumbled, suddenly feeling shy, cheeks slowly turning red, "what‘s wrong?" the german was immediately by your side, "stop the chopping, baby" her fingers laced with your own as she turned you around. When you didn‘t answer her, her hands cupped your cheeks while you started playing with your wedding ring. "When are you going to tell the world about us?" you mumbled, shy, afraid. She seemed confused, jaw tense, eyes that asked many questions. You never had a problem keeping your relationship secret or private. Lina did not tape her ring nor did she wear it during games or ever mentioned that she was in a commited relationship. Her private life was private. Where did the change of heart come from?

"Lately, umm" your voice was shaking - you didn‘t know why, you knew that Lina loved you, she was your wife but something was making you nervous. "Comments. The comments under your posts are getting worse. And- and these ship videos with G, I don’t like them. I like G, don‘t get me wrong, she’s awesome but-" you rambled on about the thirsty comments under her instagram posts, the ship edits you had on your for you page and your hurt feelings. In no way, you were mad at Lina, just hurt with the whole situation. "Hey, hey" the bayern munich player pulled you close, her hands firmly resting on their usual place around your waist while your head hit her shoulder with a quiet thud, "my love, look at me" she demanded softly. With tears in your eyes you looked in to the orbs you‘d loved for so long, "Is that what has been bothering you the last few days?" one of her hands cupped your cheek, wiping away the tears that spilled. You didn't want to admit it, it still hurt you a lot and seeing her do nothing about it was just another little stab in your heart. You knew she didn't read most of the comments except those from her friends and family, so you couldn't blame her - you didn't even want too. Your heart just stung.

In respond, you nodded, biting your lower lip to contain yourself, "Stop crying, please" the germans heart ached at sight in front of her, the way your body shook as the tears ran down your cheeks, "i would tell the world in a heartbeat, liebe."

Your eyes grew wide, only a sniffle coming from your throat, "really?"

"100%"

You chuckled at the determined look the midfielder had on her face, "do you want me to post something on instagram or a tweet or what? Tell me, baby, I‘ll do it" she pressed multiple kisses over your face, a nose scrunch in reply as you giggled along. "You‘re my wife and I love you, okay? I would tell every person in the world myself If that‘s what makes you happy"

-

Match day.

Champions league semi final.

Bayern Munich vs Chelsea.

Lina was sitting at the press conference table with Alexander Straus as media teams were behind the cameras, many with notes and a mic in their hand.

"Der FC Chelsea ist ein starker Gegner, glauben Sie, sie können gegen so eine starke Mannschaft gewinnen?" an older man asked Alex and Lina, both sharing a look. With a tilt of his head the Bayern coach asked the midfielder If she wanted to answer or If he should - he answered. He told the interviewer, "From goalkeeper to striker, the most diverse talents have met - Guro Reiten, Sam Kerr, Millie Bright and so on - pooled together and formed a high class team. They are very good but not unbeatable. That's what we're trying to show today."

There were some more questions which Lina and Alexander answered before the last question before the game was asked.

"Nächste Frage an Lina Magull: Was motiviert das Team und Sie persönlich den Sieg heute zu holen?"

"Der Titel" she chuckled, "Wir alle sind super motiviert und haben ein hohes Interesse daran, den Titel mit nach Hause zu nehmen und das Halbfinale ist ein Schritt in die richtige Richtung. Am Ende des Tages, kämpft jede für das Team und hat seine eigene Person für die er kämpf, das variiert von Spielerin zu Spielerin. Für mich zum Beispiel ist es meine Frau. Ich betrete heute - immer - das Spielfeld, um meine Frau zu beeindrucken und ihr Strahlen am Abend zu sehen"

The whole room inhaled sharply - wife?! Why didn't anyone know that? Alexander had a smile on his face, of course he knew about you, all the Bayern people knew about you and they loved you - you were great.

Only then did everyone notice the ring the german was wearing on her finger; it was simple yet beautiful - it suited her.

Tell the media she had a wife? check.

Lina loved the faces she saw behind the cameras, there were shocked ones - jaw to floor, there were confused ones - huh? Did she say wife? and there were happy faces.

-

Sitting in the stands next to Sydney‘s mum you saw the girls walking out of the tunnel. The Allianz Arena was sold out, red shirts everywhere. Even the mens team came to support the girls - a rare sight.

It was just wow. The girls played their hearts and showed their talent. It didn‘t matter that Chelsea got on the score line first, Erin Cuthbert with the header.

Bayern was eager and hungry.

After the first 20 minutes, Bayern played better than their best. Pernille Harder scored the equalizer, she didn‘t celebrate though, she turned to the few Chelsea fans, raised her hand a little and apologized silently. The Blues were her home and family once and still are, even If she doesn‘t play for them anymore.

Georgia was the next to score a banger - outside the box. It was beautiful, AKB had no chance. The stadium went crazy.

Last but not least, was the third goal of the game. The game had built up from Grohs, the Bayern keeper. The girls played a Tiki Taka, the opponents could only watch the ball, there was no chance of taking it. Bühl then converted it to 3-1, the ball slipping past her national team mates fingertips.

When the whistle blew, the stadium got louder and louder, fans were signing chants as they jumped around to celebrate.

When everyone finished shaking their opponents and talked to their friends, the girls swarmed out to sign jerseys and to take pictures. Lina though, she had only one goal in mind. She wanted to see you. You were often at the Bayern games but never in a jersey or at least never in a jersey with 'Magull' on the back of it.

Not until now, this morning the german had told to wear her jersey later, she was very clear with her demand.

"Hi, my love" she whispered after she had jumped over the barrier, her arms going around your waist. Your smile was brigther than the sky while you cupped her cheeks, proud of your wife and her team, "Baby! That was amazing!" The brunette just grinned at you, loving the big wide smile that covered your face. Shortly after your said words your arms looped around her neck, your head on her shoulder as you hugged her dearly. Her own head was hidden in your neck as she pressed soft kisses to it.

First kiss: i‘m so happy.

Second kiss: thank you for being here.

third kiss: i love you.

the multiple kisses after: wow!!

Many eyes and cameras were on you, multiple people taking pictures of the two of you. Yet it didn‘t matter, your heart fluttered at the sight of your wife, the way she interacted with you in front of the fans. Normally it was the bare minimum but not now, she had accepted the concerns you told her about and implemented your wishes, your request. She would do anything, absolutely anything, for you.

And If it wasn‘t clear enough, the kiss on your lips was. She gave you a passionate yet gentle and appropriate one, it was like in the movies; your hands resting on her neck, her own hands placed on your hips as she leant forwads, yourself leaning backwards in return. Lina felt euphoric, like she was high. High on love, high with happiness, high with everything.

-

It was safe to say, Lina‘s announcement at the press conference went viral, multiple clips across the internet. As well as various edits of the scene in the stadium.

The german international broke the internet, yet it wasn‘t enough for her.

She had announced it to the media, she had demonstrated the fans and she was about to show the world.

linamagull

stanwaygeorgia and 36.047 thousand others

linamagull ❤️

it was that simple. 4 pictures with more or less the same gesture. You in her arms, just with a different view. The pictures were taken over the years, they still gave you enough privacy but a clear statement was made: Lina Magull was happily married.

————————

translation:

Der FC Chelsea ist ein starker Gegner, glauben Sie, sie können gegen so eine starke Mannschaft gewinnen? - Chelsea are a strong opponent, do you think you can win against such a strong team?

Nächste Frage an Lina Magull: Was motiviert das Team und Sie persönlich den Sieg heute zu holen - Next question for Lina Magull: What motivates the team and you personally to win today

Wir alle sind super motiviert und haben ein hohes Interesse daran, den Titel mit nach Hause zu nehmen und das Halbfinale ist ein Schritt in die richtige Richtung. Am Ende des Tages, kämpft jeder für das Team und hat seine eigene Person für die er kämpf, das variiert von Spielerin zu Spielerin. Für mich zum Beispiel ist es meine Frau. Ich betrete heute - immer - das Spielfeld, um meine Frau zu beeindrucken und ihr Strahlen am Abend zu sehen - We are all motivated and very interested in taking the trophy home and the semi-final is a step in the right direction. At the end of the day, everyone fights for the team and has their own person to fight for, it varies from player to player. For me, for example, it is my wife. I step on the pitch today - always - to impress my wife and see her bright smile in the evening.

———————

[cowboylikeyouu]

ok genuine question to my mutuals & everyone else: do you care if people ship/write/draw "problematic" ships?? like pedophilia, incest, etc. bc i fucking don’t and i keep having these arguments with people on tiktok who throw around the word "proshipper🫵🏻" without actually knowing what it means, and it annoys me so fucking much.

i literally couldn’t care less if you write a starker, snarry, wincest or whatever fic. do i like it?? no. would i read it?? FUCK no. do i think you’re a horrible person who deserves to be shit on by hundreds of people??? also no bc SURPRISE i don‘t judge a person’s entire character and morals by the fact that they write a story about two FICTIONAL CHARACTERS JFC. i also have this really cool ability called ✨blocking people/tags✨ crazy right? like, the existence of illegal ships doesn’t affect my life in any way, it literally hurts my brain when i try to understand why people care so much.

a few days ago someone on tiktok told me that these ships DO affect people‘s lives, bc some people had bad experiences with these topics (age gap relationships etc etc) and like yeah, i fully understand why you wouldn’t wanna engage with this kind of content if you made these kind of experiences but like?? if we‘re going there almost everything would have to be seen as problematic as well. all the violence in fics, the fact that everyone‘s shipping literal criminals, rape/non-con in fics, suicide mentions in fics, EDs in fics, literally any kind of mental health problems in fics for that matter. EVERYTHING will be triggering for some people, but that’s why we should TAG triggering stuff. this is what we have tags for, so that you can filter it out. it’s not that hard.

it just annoys me how everyone on tiktok is like "fandom culture is DYING, everybody just complains about ships these days" and in the next sentence they will say something along the lines of "but you CANT ship illegal ships" like babe. you‘re part of the problem i fear.

this turned into me rambling way too much way too fast i’m sorry. long story short is: if u think it’s okay to harass people over FICTIONAL fiction when you can just.. ignore & block them, pls unfollow me lol.

i‘m also just now realizing that i worded this like a tiktok comment to someone who has no clue about fandom culture, when this is literally tumblr where i could’ve just said "fuck off if you’re an anti" and 90% would’ve understood lol

i should delete tiktok

[graceful-starker]

Touch Starved

Summary: The internal musings one has after realizing you are touch starved are, surprisingly, not all that fun.

Warnings: starker has already broken up for this ficlet, and the narrator is touch starved. Angsty and drabble-esque.

Notes: Hello beautifuls! This is a fill for @starkerfestivals summer(now year lol) bingo. (This is also in the Whumptober prompt so expect another version of this soon 😈) (also: casual mode = pick who the narrator is, hardcore mode = guess who I intended the narrator to be :P )

~~~~

He misses him.

He misses everything about him. Not just the sex, like everyone assumes. But everything. He misses the way his eyes would light up in joy, the way his smile was blinding, the way his laughter was contagious. He misses the way his arms felt wrapped around him, the way his kisses always started off so soft and hesitant, the way they would cuddle together on the couch. 

They don’t do any of that anymore. 

He misses those beautiful eyes. Such a deep, rich shade of brown. So full of emotion and life whenever he speaks. They used to be so full of love and happiness whenever they would land on him. He misses looking into those eyes and seeing the intense focus he only ever dedicated to his lover’s rambles. 

He misses the sound of his voice. The loudness of it when the other gets over excited. The softness of it when they would whisper sweet nothings to each other. The melody of it whenever he would hum or sing to himself as he worked. The way it would sound when they were in bed together; oh how he misses those filthy words coming out of his mouth. 

But most of all, he misses his lover’s touch. 

God, he misses the other’s touch so much. He misses gentle fingers playing with his hair while he laid his head on the other’s chest. He misses a strong arm wrapped around him, pulling him hip to hip with the other during conversations at parties. He misses a hand on the small of his back as the other tries to pass him without bothering him. He misses when their fingers would brush-and then linger-as they hand each other tools in the lab. He misses the other’s arm pressed against his own as they rode the elevator together. 

He misses those lips-chapped, always chapped-pressing against his forehead softly when he was leaving a room. He misses them against his cheek whenever he said hello. He misses them against his neck whenever they were cuddling or hugging. 

It startles him deeply, even now, to think about how much he misses his lover’s touch. His innocent touches, specifically. Not that he doesn’t miss his not-so-innocent touches either, but he knew he would miss that. 

But now he feels like something too big to name is missing from his life at all times. His body absolutely aches with the need to be hugged. He aches with the need for fingers to brush hair out of his eyes, to graze his cheek lightly. He aches with the need to hold his lover’s hand, to brush the back of their knuckles together in solidarity as they listen to a very boring meeting. 

He aches with the need to feel human contact again; he hasn’t let anyone touch him at all since the break up. If someone touches him accidentally, he flinches violently and moves away from them. He doesn’t know why; he craves it, he needs it, but he can’t accept it. Not if it isn’t from him. The only person he wants, needs, loves. 

And he does, still love him. And he loves no one else. Only him. He would give anything, anything just to feel those still familiar arms around him again. Despite how long it’s been since he was held, he just knows in his soul that being held again would fix everything. It would fix the shaking, the feeling of falling apart at the seams, fix the gaping hole in his chest. 

But he can’t accept it from anyone else. He just can’t. Even though his lover doesn’t want him anymore, will never hold him or touch him again. He doesn’t want anyone else. He doesn’t want someone else to touch him. 

So here he will stay, desperate for touch and refusing to accept it. Not unless it’s from the love of his life; who loves him no more.

[pastself]

Once again, instead of finishing either of my two WIPs, I have churned out an absurd married-to-the-wrong-people Starker oneshot. 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

But it’s over 2k and will take me ages to edit, so… I’ve decided Ao3 isn’t getting it until I *at least* finish draft zero of Want for Nothing. Until then, here’s a sneak peek because I can’t help myself.

—-

“I’ll make it work, you’ll see. It’ll be fine. Pepper will be fine. She’ll understand. These things happen. And Henry—”

“Harry.”

“Whatever. He wasn’t right for you, anyways. You deserve better. You deserve everything.”

---

“Pepper would’ve forgiven you a mistress. You could even have been honest with her about it. You wouldn’t’ve needed to give up—”

“I didn’t give up anything I needed to keep.”

“Hey.” Rhodey says, voice cutting. “That’s my friend you’re talking about.”

“She was my wife.”

[idontwanttospoiltheparty]

I’ve been reading through you J+P analysis and love it! I hope you don’t mind but I wanted to add my two cents on the idea that Paul’s statements and mentions about John have potentially gotten over effusive to please the press and have fed into him over romanticising his relationship with John. I think this is somewhat true but I believe the reality is a lot more complicated and symbiotic.

 It's undeniable that Paul is on a bit of a bizarre post-mortem honeymoon with John at the minute due to nostalgia and the pro-lennon/mccartney stuff coming out. There’s no way that isn’t colouring his thinking and you’re right, there’s a discrepancy between Pauls more contradictory statements closer to John’s death vs now. People pleasing does have something to do with it, but it goes both ways. In that 1987(?) interview with John’s sister Julia, Paul says that he tried to downplay his relationship with John as people didn’t want to hear it, which partially explains his scrambled ‘oh we were the best of mates but you don’t get close to mates’ 1980s interviews. That interview is also important as Julia allows him to voice the belief that he skirted round in other interviews, which is that he was the person who knew John best. That’s a bold statement to make, and puts his tentative ‘one of the closest people to him. I can’t claim to be the closest, although it’s possible …  but I wouldn’t… I don’t need that credit.’ in a different light. Linda was also talking about the intensity and depth of their relationship early on (deeper than any of us will ever know, like the mirror image of each other etc) and pre-breakup Paul was casually describing he and John’s extreme closeness to a friend and their telepathy. So some of Paul's more effusive stuff he’s coming out with in interviews in the last decade or so is probably partly to do with the shift in narrative validating all of these feelings that he always had about John but felt unable to say/reckon with at the time of his death. It could be a bit like a pressure valve releasing slightly and all of it just flooding out.

Like the soulmate thing, it could be Paul rambling and getting to an extreme point but also he would never have been able to say that in the 80s/90s without backlash (I do find it telling that Paul’s PR guy also openly called John a soulmate to Paul, sure its good for brand image but also he would be more conscious than anyone of what Paul is okay with being put out there. Also the Howard Stern one where he reacted badly to the LOML question was likely due to the romantic connotations/Howard’s lack of boundaries). We also shouldn’t caricature-ise Paul’s people pleasing tendencies when it comes to his feelings and emotions. Sure he leaves harder stuff out and likes to focus on the positive, but he’s also Fort Knox possessive/private about his feelings and downplays them or shuts off (he’s done this recently like when he refused to tell Colbert about his dreams about John in detail). He fully owns to the press that the situation was complicated and his feelings aren’t straightforward. That he tends to downplay intensity as a general rule DESPITE greater intensity feeding better to the press should throw starker light on the strength of his feeling rather than doubt.

The more extreme statements also match what he’s saying in his personal life to friends and family (multiple people have said he constantly brings up the Beatles even when they themselves are asked not to and Julian mentioned that when he discusses John he talks about it as if it was a great love) and his personality. Paul was never getting over John because he loves profoundly and its not in his nature to let go. He’s the man who spent £70,000 in the 70s doing up a car that had fallen into a lake for ‘sentimental’ reasons, the man who bought the railings from Please Please Me to install in his studio and the man who, according to some reports, turned his whole house into a Linda shrine after she died. He’s also the man shattered by his mother’s death to the point he’s still agonised over laughing at her over something silly.  The press have exacerbated the situation and his uncertainty over their relationship to the point that he has to prove it to himself which is horrible, but in all likelihood he was always going to fill his houses and studios with John’s items and over 40 years later privately mull over if hugging John more would have helped, especially given how John died.

 Paul is not creating a narrative that didn't exist but zooming in on an aspect that was already there and choosing to focus on that. It’s become a bit of a feedback loop, ie Paul watches Mclennon videos on youtube then sends them to producers as inspiration as to how they should present their relationship in a documentary which again pushes a narrative onto fans which they embrace and so on. Ironically, I see the interviews and press as not just a perpetuator but also an outlet for Paul’s grief and trauma that was going to exist regardless of media involvement. Media is the thing that tore them apart and kept them apart initially but now its the medium where again Paul gets validation for his relationship with John as well as an outlet to speak about it in a way which he would normally be too repressed to do. Is his view on John different now than when he was alive? Sure! Is it romanticised? Probably? But likewise, was the petty bullshit that clouded his judgement during their worst period the true snapshot of their relationship either? It’s a whole messy question of whether there is ever one true version of something as shifting as a volatile relationship and if our relationship with the dead ever really ends/our views on the dead become more or less valid with paradoxical clarity/obscurity of distance.

Essentially what I’m trying to say is that Paul romanticises and creates narrative through omission, not exaggeration and that his more extreme statements are likely true to him. Love is a conversation and sometimes becomes an echo when the other person isn’t there yada yada yada.

Thank you for taking the time to write all of this out :)

I agree with a lot of this actually! Though I do also think that we shouldn't ignore the fact that Paul still regularly reveals his feelings towards John to be kind of mixed at times when he talks about the breakup specifically. But on the whole, your thoughts really align with mine and if I at times seem more cynical, it's probably because I find the specific way people talk about Paul on here can get very reductive.

You summarized the nuance of it very well here:

It’s a whole messy question of whether there is ever one true version of something as shifting as a volatile relationship and if our relationship with the dead ever really ends/our views on the dead become more or less valid with paradoxical clarity/obscurity of distance. Essentially what I’m trying to say is that Paul romanticises and creates narrative through omission, not exaggeration and that his more extreme statements are likely true to him. Love is a conversation and sometimes becomes an echo when the other person isn’t there yada yada yada.

[plushclownparty]

Hi Billy Lenz nation how we feeling

(Alt without text bubbles and tiny ramble under the cut!! :o])

HEHEHE HIIII this is my first time having a public art account and of course i’m gonna start it with my latest brainrot!! I’d say watch black christmas but Billy is SO GODDAMN WEIRD pleaaaase don’t watch if starker scenarios make you uncomfy!! Black Christmas is a horror movie, keep that in mind if you check it out!! it’s also free on youtube :]

PLEAAAASE ignore the hands and legs they’re so bad. also yea that lil guy in the corner is my persona teehee ^w^

[thegreenmetblue]

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