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face down ass up in the forest, my mouth full of dirt while i’m being violated by a hunter. a gun to the back of my head while he reminds me with every thrust that he came here to kill some game and he’ll still gladly do it.

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the thing is, wincest isn't about sex. it's about everything else: power, control, fear of abandonment, family, the cycles of abuse, the codependency, the emotional enmeshment. sex could happen or not but it is still wincest.

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lrb now i’m thinking of drunk dean getting really mushy abt taking care of sam when they were kids. sam & dean getting into some mild argument (mostly abt being cooped up together for so long) and dean going off to a bar alone to get some space and sam staying behind. then dean coming back absolutely wasted and holding a bottle of liquor, and accidentally pouring some on sam who gets mad about it but nowhere near as upset that would warrant how hard dean takes it. dean is super emotional and kind of worrying sam and suddenly dean is begging sam to let him give him a bath like when sam was little. and sam is like “what no dean it’s fine i’m just gonna change my shirt” but dean has already gone to the bathroom to run a bath. and he’s being so damn persistent that eventually sam gives in bc they’ve done much weirder things and they’re not gonna fix all their psychological issues that night anyway. and while he’s clumsily bathing 6’4” sam, dean is mumbling stuff like “went out to get away from you *hiccup* then spent the whole time talkin about you…you messed me up real good sammy you know that…?”

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stuff i think dean would do blackout drunk

gun tricks/play with his gun and freak everybody out

dad jokes

cry-rant and freak everybody out

slur-rant about a show he's currently really into

steal stuff that he wouldn't logically steal/need/want. like one of those red balls outside of targets or car parts for cars he hates

constantly wants to have his hands in sam's hair

beg sam to take him to a drive through, order his usual with something sweet like a milkshake, take one bite and lose his appetite

drunk drive and get mad at anyone who tries to stop him

instigate fights and sometimes get offended when the person doesn't rise to the bait. "what? am i not worth fighting or somethin'?" (slurring heavily btw)

either tell sam, "you're so good to me," or getting upset with sam about how he, "had to take care o'ya... when you were a kid... the cute little thing you were..." every time sam helps him around with getting ready for bed or making sure he doesn't kill himself

jerks off. of course

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made some hikaru and yoshiki photocards

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Mixing

Can’t wait for the anime to drop this July I’ve been waiting for so long 🫶🫶🫶

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Sillister Billisters

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when episode 5 was up last saturday mokumokuren made some posts on bluesky and i really wanted to talk about it and after procrastinating i'm finally here to talk💥 because i need to get this off my chest ok

in fact, she reblogged two of her own posts that they made a long time ago talking more about tshd (which are part of the pinned thread) and also made another one, a new one. in this order ↓

I think there's nothing wrong with telling queer stories that aren't romance. So, officially, we were careful from the beginning not to place it as a love story.

Also, I think the idea of "not understanding romantic feelings or sexual desire" is an important context in a queer story. I know this is something that can easily be misinterpreted, but...

The story structure of "The Summer Hikaru Died" moves away from romance as the story progresses, which is why it is described as "queer, not romantic".

i have a feeling as to why MMR said that, just as after the second episode where we see for the first time Yoshiki getting inside "Hikaru", she commented about people thinking that it was just fanservice when ofc it wasn't, this is actually the anime/manga with the least fanservice i've ever seen. this time i believe that many people who have already read the manga were surprised (myself included) that when we get to see the touching moment again, unlike the manga, we have Yoshiki blushing less and when "Hikaru" gets inside Yoshiki aswell, we have a panel in the manga which he thinks "Why does a part of me feel good?" and that was removed in the anime adaptation. i was also caught off guard ngl because in the anime, they focused much more on the feeling of fear and how uncomfortable it was for Yoshiki. i found this change very interesting because despite loving the scene as it happens in the manga, i actually really liked the adaptation for showing that "Hikaru" decided to give back what was good (for him), increasing this contrast between monster and human. because Yoshiki touches him as a human, and it feels good for "Hikaru" but being touched by a monster causes complex feelings in Yoshiki. and i could go on and on about this decision to change the scene but that's not the main point i want to talk about– so some people disliked this change and that's fair, we all have different opinions that's fine, but maybe MMR saw some people questioning if making that change isn't "censoring it" and here's the thing. no ✨

it's a queer story and that's undeniable, but what makes it queer, its what it makes it even more fascinating and amazing. for example, yes, we know they kiss in the manga, but that scene probably won't even be adapted for the anime, and that's okay if it isn't. it's okay if they focus more on the horror and the uncomfortable feelings. because this difference between "Hikaru" and Yoshiki is what makes the fact that they still love each other more meaningful. Monster and Human, slowly mixing together and the Monster is getting too involved with what is human to the point of weakening itself, and the Human is getting too involved with what is monstrous to the point of no longer being 100% human. LIKE. THIS IS BEAUTIFULLY PAINFUL. they are changing for each other, BECAUSE OF ONE ANOTHER, and that can be both scary and comforting.

the love that Yoshiki felt for Hikaru has already transformed along with him, he will be confronted with his own ideals, is his human point of view the only one to be taken into consideration? how absurd is it to accept all the destruction that "Hikaru" is capable of causing? and many other questions that are left open for us to interpret alongside the character, as we follow everything that goes through his mind. the more he spends time with "Hikaru" the more uncomfortable he will feel and the more he'll find a place to finally belong to. and "Hikaru" also has huge internal conflicts, imagine living in a world where everything makes little to no sense because you used to be an entity isolated in a mountain, life and death, what does it mean to be human? he has the memories of the body he's in, but he's not him. he doesn't even know who he is. but Yoshiki, "You ended up accepting me, didn't you? The place I belong to became you." even tho nothing else makes sense, they have a place to belong. they have each other.

AND THAT'S LOVE. they are mixing and in this mix, the labels no longer makes sense for them. platonic romantic love best friends soulmates human monster... they exist, in a scary messy confusing way. they are queer and their love is queer.

and as an oriented aroace, i feel so emotional. this story means so much to me and everytime mokumokuren reminds everyone that "Hikaru" and Yoshiki won't fit into the romance and sex the world is used to, i feel seen.

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CREATURE

by Ivan Palma

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try not to unlearn all your shame in case there's something good stuff in there that you can sexualize

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"This feels kinda raunchy. How'd we end up like this?" "The heck, dude? This was your idea!" "I mean, you wanted to know what's inside me. Right?" THE SUMMER HIKARU DIED / 光が死んだ夏

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➵ yo-shi-ki... wanna try touchin' me again?

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This feels so gross… this feels good

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Listen to Animal Collective and Mother Mother and watch One Piece

i feel like everyone has at least one of these so: in the tags tell me what media someone else needs to experience to truly understand the person you are today. mine is undertale and the owl house

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all due respect but what is the point of rape porn where she starts liking it halfway through. i need it to end with 5 minutes of her laying half catatonic and tear stained on the cold concrete

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"are you normal about-" no I'm an insane pervert