#starburst wins

[snowe-zolynn-rogers]

Starburst has won! Bolide is handing out paint balloons to his 13 voters to throw at his brothers while Starburst moves onto round 3!

[mildeleaf]

Mild I just found the best shipname in phighting history..

Starburst

Ikr theyre great

[introvertedx10]

[splatoon-confession-box]

I found a lifesaver in a bag of Starburst

[peachy-doodles]

oh-cee posting once more ^_^

[just-a-pot-of-frogs]

Question

[struwberrii]

haikyuu!! halloween headcanons ₊˚🕯️♱‧₊˚.

i know it’s july, i just love halloween time and it’s basically around the corner now that i think about it :3 but anywho here are some of my silly headcanons of what costumes/activities the haikyuu characters would do on halloween ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و ♡

characters: tsuki, kuroo, bokuto, sugawara, semi, osamu

🕸 ⋆｡°✩ ⋆｡°✩🕸

tsukishima

probably thinks halloween is lame and doesn’t want to participate but i feel like you could convince him

at MOST he might put on some face paint or animal ears

would rather stay in and watch scary movies

probably randomly starts ranting about how halloween is a capitalist holiday or something

buys a huge bag of candy but only eats all the strawberry starburst and leaves the rest for you

when you’re at a suspenseful part of the movie he screams just to scare you

makes fun of all the people in bad costumes passing by his house with you

kuroo

has the ugliest costume ideas ever

bro is pulling up to the function as papa smurf

i know he’d be such a huge halloween fan

he lets you paint him blue 😭

probably invites you to a festival or party

takes 1000 pics of your night together

offers to carry your candy and literally just starts eating yours instead of his

tells scary stories all night and ends up scaring both of you guys

constantly talking about how good you look, bro is a sweetie pie

eats so much candy and goes home with a stomach ache

bokuto

i feel like he’d like halloween because he’d like dressing up but at the same time he would literally just wear any costume

i feel like his costume would also be really low budget and last minute but still cute

imagine bokuto as finn from adventure time ദ്ദി(ᵔᗜᵔ)

challenges you to see who can get more candy but somehow loses (eats) most of his candy by the end of the night

participated in every festival activity, like he is NOT playing about that sac race

i also feel like he might participate to be the person that sits in that dunk tank while people try to throw a ball at the target and make them fall yk?

someone gave him raisins and he was genuinely distraught

makes akaashi go to booths he already visited so he can get more candy (they stopped giving it out to him)

sugawara

he does NOT play about his halloween costumes

imagine suga as mr fox from fantastic mr fox :3

would probably make a million silly tiktok’s

also participates in every festival activity

he’s the one who hits the target and dunks bokuto into the water tank

offers you a bunch of his candy and then says you guys shouldn’t eat it because it’s bad for you

also eats like 3 caramel apples in that same breath

wants to end the night watching a horror movie and also jump scares you during suspenseful moments

semi

would probably throw a party and invite you ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧

probably just does cool skeleton face paint or something

plays the best music and has the best food

dedicates like half of his whole night to scaring you and gets tendou to help

leaves someone else in charge of the party while you two sneak off to his room with a bunch of snacks and drinks

maybe he even plays a song on guitar for you :o

he puts on a genuinely scary movie that has both of you in tears 😭

osamu

forgot to get a costume so he went as atsumu 😭

invites you to a halloween festival with him, not because he likes them but just to hang out with you and some of his friends

he and atsumu keep challenging each other at games and they both keep winning stuff

wins so many prizes at the booths and gives all of them to you

i feel like he’d only eat the twix bars he gets and no other candy

he’d probably want to leave the festival early bc he got bored

gets you guys junk food on the way home bc he’s tired

[thatloveislikea-star]

At @brighteststarz request, here are some starcest recs!!

These are just a few of my favorite complete fics, I ran out of steam because I read so much so I might do another list later 😂 a lot of these authors have WIPs that are really amazing, so check those out if you like to follow along

An absolute classic, Want, by Saras_Girl

So good, really interesting family dynamics in Rapture on the Lonely Shore by @tenrousei-kuroi, check out their other starcest too! Another one I love of theirs is Capacious as the Sea

The Mind of Madness by phantasmaraneae is so good I’ve read it so many times

Really really hot, includes James, Little Lion by @tracingpatternswrites

I thought family planning by heated_mausoleum was funny

Heat wave by heartshapedbathtub is one of the hottest things I’ve ever read, definitely read it if you like bunny stuff, they’ve written a few more fics too

Constellations series by Evandar, has two fics, both so good, also Toujours Pur is really sweet

Winner Takes All by @the-invisibility-bloke, it’s hot, it’s funny, it’s charming, it’s perfect

Pretty much everything by @faeries-withspirits , but some favorites are Cherry Waves, Morning Glory, Starbursts (bring me back to life), Down the black hole of my lust I descend, Secret Shows in Shower Stalls. Definitely check their other fics out if you like celestial quad (reg/siri/rem/james) also their WIPs are so good

@thepsychiatristgirl exclusively writes bangers, like And All Was Well, my pussy tastes like pepsi cola (my eyes are wide like cherry pies), and speak in tongues (til you listen). That last one is celestial quad, it’s just too good to omit

Baby, it’s cold outside by @andwaitforthespark is so so so good, their WIPs are amazing, and the house always wins only has one chapter left!

@melissamwrites is one of my favorites, especially Black Holes, please check out their other works, especially their WIPs, especially Wormhole (though it is celestial quad and not just starcest) ALSO they make podfics!!! Check those out for sure!

Underneath the mistletoe by Sirci is one of the sweetest starcest fics ever, they have some other really good fics you should check out!

I love JBlackMalfoyRosier’s smutty little Blackcest series, if you like infidelity, it’s for you!

constellations, collisions, and other ways to say love by @matthewfairhoe is a brilliant two-parter

The Arrangement by rattlesnake_black, technically its wolfstarcest, but the dynamic between Regulus and Sirius is gold, and Remus is a hot bonus

@cassetteinability has some amazing fics, like All night long, need, sweet stars, Friends and brothers and lovers (take care of me) that last one does have James involved

Make Your Dreams Come True by @goldenbi is so hottttt

[chimivx]

home;run -> fem!reader x mlb!mingyu, mlb!vernon, mlb!dk

College didn't work out, so you're stuck with the next best thing. Living with your superstar brother, traveling with his championship winning team, haunted by your past and heavily influenced by your present.

wc; {part four} 5.9k warnings; 18+, sexual content, alcohol consumption/abuse, bad influences around her, manipulation, her name gets taken advantage of in public media, if i missed anything please let me know!! notes; peese n lurv. <3

Cheers had an awful remix of a fairly popular song blasting from the speakers invisible in the room. Four walls, dark grey walls, confined you, Mingyu, his two teammates and their wives along with fifty other people within them.

Arriving here shortly after you found your seat at the dinner table again with tears brimming your eyes, you accepted Mingyu’s hand over your knee and begged him to get you out of the hotbox and into a car, into the bar, and he did. Waltzing inside with his hand around the back of your neck and his friends behind you, the bartenders cheered at your appearance and the first round was on the house.

Shot after shot, glass after glass, you danced with the five of them first, keeping up with the terrible beat the bar thought was good enough to play. The crowd on the dance floor and all within Cheers differed from the one in the restaurant, most bar crowds did. People were calmer, chiller, they greeted you and your group like you were old friends, not internet glorified household names. Drinks were bought for you, handed to you from strangers with gleaming smiles, handed to Mingyu and Hoshi and Minghao though they wouldn’t sip them but slide them into their girls hands, your hands. 

Mingyu kept a hand around your waist, pressing you to his front while your bodies moved to the music, getting lost in the occasional kiss that tasted sticky sweet after the rounds of pink starburst shots. Whispering in your ear, his warm breath tickling your skin, he talked you up, wound you up, persuaded your hips to move in a way that drew more attention than you were looking for. Not a thing bothered you, the room was wavey, people took pictures of you, with you, Daya ogled your boyfriend over her husbands shoulder, but then when they spun he shot you a wink while Mingyu’s face was buried in your neck.

That was weird.

Slinging an arm around Mingyu’s back you dug your fingers into his curls and lifted his head, a wicked grin on his glistening lips. Poking your tongue out between yours, you close the air between you and inhale all of him, every push of his lips, every lap of his tongue, every groan from his chest. Mingyu was your boyfriend, you were his girlfriend. Daya and Hoshi were married, they had a baby. You were used to people looking at you, people looking at Mingyu, but they were always strangers. Too many times today had Daya shamelessly mentioned your boyfriend or looked at him like he was her prey.

“Take me home,” you said to Mingyu after the slowest pull away from him, your lips parting with resistance. “Can we leave?”

He smirked, his forehead pressed to yours while your bodies rocked. “Little bit longer, baby. You want me already?” You nodded and he pushed out a laugh. “How bad?”

Enough to get him out of this place and away from Daya, to get you away from Hoshi. Did they even know the other was flirting with the two of you behind their backs?

“Bad,” you whispered against his lips and he laughed again. “Please, can we leave?”

His name was said behind you, either Hoshi or Minghao, you couldn’t make out who it was. Mingyu lifted his head, watched as one of his friends spoke without words, then smiled and nodded. Placing his hands to your hips he moved you off of him and gestured toward the bar.

“The girls are buyin’ shots, go with them,” he said. Stumbling backward, you lowered your brows. Mingyu pointed behind you, his smile giving you enough comfort to trust him. “I’ll be right back, go with the girls. I promise, then we’ll leave.”

“Okay,” you whispered, walking backward, watching him take Minghao by the neck of his shirt, all three of them laughing with one another as they weaved through the crowd to the darker side of the bar. Turning once they disappeared behind several heads and bodies, you pushed past people trying to say things to you and followed the glow of the lights from the bar, Halle and Daya leaning over the glass chatting away with the bartender with dark wavy hair touching his shoulders.

“Party girl!” Daya shouted over her shoulder as she glanced your way, her face lighting up but her eyes remaining the same. Dark, sharp, on watch. “C’mere, you want more of that pink shit?” Wedging yourself between the girls, both of them smelling like money, you nodded and sunk into Daya’s hold as she swung her arm around your shoulder. Acrylic coffin shaped fingernails dug into your bare shoulder. “Yeah, you like the pink shit, don’t you?” Looking up at her she had her nose inches from yours.

“Be right back,” the bartender said after Halle confirmed the order with him.

Daya and her almond shaped eyes, a color so deep yet swirling with a lighter shade that added that extra spark, gazed down at you, the woman a few inches taller than you especially in her heels. Her long, slender nose was positioned perfectly in the center of her bronzed face, striking features that complimented and contrasted perfectly with the softness of her wideset, fuller lips.

Oh shit, she was pretty.

“I do like the… the pink shit,” you muttered and she smiled, her teeth a bright white, insanely straight. “Do you like the pink shit?”

She narrowed her eyes and came closer to you. “Depends who’s asking.”

Nerves flooded your veins. “Okay,” you breathed, laughing it off, wiggling around in her hold to glance at Halle who rocked to the beat of the music. “Where’d they go?” Her and her warm eyes looked over to you, her gaze less intense than Daya’s. Halle was pretty too, it was clear why she and Minghao had been together for years. She wore the same unbothered energy her husband did. “The guys?” you asked after she questioned you with a look.

“Oh, someone they know is here,” she said quickly, waving her hand in the direction they walked off in as if to tell you to ignore it. “They were suffocating anyway, we have to be stuck here all month with them, we girls need to stick together.” The bartender came back and slid several shots full of sparkling pink in front of the three of you. “This rounds on me, ladies.”

With Daya’s arm still around you, you looked back at her. “Where’s your kids?” you asked, shifting your gaze between them both as they took one of the shots.

Daya licked her lips and smacked the glass down on the bar. “Who knows.”

“We have nannies,” Halle scoffed, shooting a glare at her friend. “They’re asleep at the hotel, in good hands.”

A smirk pricked your lips. “You have a baby and you don’t care about her?” The way Daya looked at you made you want to laugh aloud, but you kept it within you. Halle’s eyes shot open so wide she had to turn away for a few seconds.

“Yes I do,” Daya said, a little harshly. “Take your shots, princess, I know you can drink more than this.” Giving her a smile that made her hand tighten on your shoulder, you took each shot like it was nothing, three of them right in a row, faster than Halle or Daya. “There we go,” she snickered, waving the bartender down to your end. “More of whatever the fuck this was.”

Blurrier, louder, more exciting. With each round the atmosphere in the bar fueled the energy within you, it pulled you back onto the dance floor with the girls, the three of you holding hands dancing and singing along to the music you once hated but now adored. You invited other girls into your circle, dancing with them while they opened their phone cameras and snapped selfies and videos, talking to you like they knew you, because they did. Boys tried to talk to you too, and you entertained it, but never let get any further than dancing beside you. Your boy was here somewhere, with someone, doing who knows what. 

The second your brain remembered him you wanted nothing else. His hands, his lips, his body, his everything.

Whirling around in a circle, searching each corner, each group of people bobbing up and down in the lights, you found him by the hall to the bathrooms lounging in one of the booths with Hoshi and Minghao sitting on the seats in the other. Mingyu had a leg stretched over the cushion and his back pressed to the wall with his head knocked back. The three spoke close together, their heads nodding a bit, their eyes telling stories you weren’t sure you wanted to know about.

The three buttons undone on his shirt called to you. His hair pushed back from his forehead pulled you in. Wandering away from your group on the dance floor you followed the siren call that was simply his energy, his aura, his appearance. He clocked you halfway, a devilish smirk lighting up his lips as he watched you sway.

“Hey baby,” he said once your knees hit the booth cushion. Crawling over his leg and onto his lap, you straddled his waist and moved with him as he placed both feet to the floor and his back to the booth. Sliding your arms around his neck you pressed your chest to his and locked your lips together, not wasting any time and working them over his cheek, across his jaw, and down his neck. “See, she likes me now,” he said to Hoshi and Minghao, the three of them sharing a knowing laugh, one that didn’t bother you in the moment. Hands moving to your waist, Mingyu held you still over his lap, stopping you from grinding on top of him like you were beginning to. “Yeah, we’re out of here soon,” he said to his friends that left for their own wives amidst a conversation you couldn’t keep up with, too drunk on warm, smooth, golden skin to care.

“Mingyu,” you whispered, finding his lips.

“Isla,” he whispered back, big hands smoothing over your exposed thighs, mini skirt riding higher than it should be right now. “Having fun?” He caught your lips in a quick kiss.

“Yes,” you breathed within the shared air.

He half smirked, sliding his hands over the curve of your ass. “You like it here? Seems like you do.” 

“I do,” you nodded, “No one’s bothering me now.”

Mingyu curled his brow. “Us? Or, other people?”

“Other people,” you said without a second thought and kissed him. He let it go on for a minute or so, pulling away when your tongue drug along his teeth. 

“You don’t like other people talking to you?” he asked, tightening his grip on your hips that longed to move. The music, the intoxication, his body, you wanted something, you wanted him.

“Not while I’m trying to do this.” Wiggling your hips, or trying to, he laughed, then he released his hold and let you have your way with him. Grinding down on his length half hard in his pants, you sighed and caught him in a sloppy kiss. He took his hands to the back of your neck, pressing his thumbs into the sides creating some sort of pressure to make you groan. You weren’t sure how long you spent lost in him, enough to build up pressure within you.

“Let me ask you a question, baby,” he said and you whined.

“No, just kiss me.”

“No, no,” he snickered, yanking you backward, wrapping a hand around the bun in your hair. “Hang on.” Trying to lean forward, tongue lolling out from your lips, he smiled and shook his head. “Tonight at dinner,” he said, pausing, taking a second to study your face. “Maybe it’s my mind playing tricks on me, I’m nervous, even more now that you’re mine…”

Your heart beat steadily between your lungs. “Tell me. What happened?”

Mingyu pulled his lips between his teeth and blinked a few times. Releasing a breath through a laugh, he asked, “What’s the thing with Hansol?” Your stomach did a cartwheel, every shot in your system making itself known. “I just… I wanna make sure you’re okay, you were looking at him, he was looking at you…”

A gulp betrayed you, one Mingyu picked up on. “He was looking at me?”

Maintaining face, Mingyu analyzed yours. “Yeah, he was, he couldn’t stop.” You tried your best to withhold every emotion this made you feel. He was looking at you, too. When? When you weren’t looking at him? Which was when? You barely drank at dinner, you wouldn’t have missed it. “And then, it made me think of what happened at practice today, so…”

“I don’t want to talk about him,” you whispered. Attempting to lean forward, he held you back.

“So you do know him,” he said.

“I- Yeah,” you shrugged, “He went to Nasara at the same time as me.”

He was quiet, then his smile grew. “Of course he did.”

“Leave it alone,” you said, trying to kiss him again.

“No, c’mon,” he laughed, taking his other hand to your waist where it had been, holding you down. “Tell me, baby. What did my baseball player loving girlfriend do with him in college?”

Whining, wriggling in his grasp, you said, “I don’t want to talk about him.” Pausing, you played back his words and pouted. “And I am not a baseball player lover.”

“Oh, baby,” he smirked. “I beg to differ.” All of your defense fell. Dropping your hands into your lap you sat back on his thighs and slouched your shoulders. “You guys were friends?”

“Mingyu, stop,” you whispered without much fight left in you. Even a shake of your head, the pleading of your eyes wouldn’t shut him up. He stared back at you, his eyes taking in every microexpression.

“What,” he began, and his eyes narrowed, like your thoughts were plastered onto your forehead. “Did you guys sleep together or something?” Your throat tightened. Every limb on your body felt as if it weighed a thousand pounds.

“Gyu- We- Just, leave it alone.”

Weak.

His face lit up with something you’ve never seen before. “Ohhoho… Okay, sure.” Wrapping his arms around your back he moved off the cushion of the booth, relishing in how you clung to him for balance before he got you on your feet. His hands held onto you with a power that both excited you and frightened you. You’ve never experienced jealous Mingyu. “We’re out of here.”

It went by in a blur, him moving you from the bar to the hotel and up into his room where the clothes you wore hit the floor in seconds. In the dark his hands were on you, touching you, squeezing you, pleasuring you, making you feel so good, too good, and he still wore all his clothes. Face buried in your chest, lips wrapping around the delicate skin leaving purple marks in their wake while his fingers worked within you, drawing you to the edge too many times and he still wore all his clothes.

You didn’t have any extra breath to give him, to ask him to take them off, you couldn’t say anything but his name, which was what he wanted. His other hand clamped to your jaw, fingers pressing into your cheeks so tight your lips stayed parted for him to kiss, nip at, spit into. He worked you dumb, your world entirely too blurry, too fuzzy to tell him to slow down, but you didn’t want him to. 

It was Mingyu. All him. You couldn’t think about anything else.

Just the way he wanted you.

It wasn’t until his head was between your thighs that you could finally utter something other than Mingyu. “Inside, Gyu,” you whispered, fingers clawing at his curls so tight he was groaning against you. “Please, please, need you in me.”

Letting go of your thighs he stood with a smile and took his hands to his belt buckle after wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. Smiling down at you, eyes heavy and full of lust, he asked, “Condom?”

Unable to move, you blinked up at him and tried to shake your head. “I don’ care.”

“Oh, my pretty girl,” he groaned, shoving his pants to the floor, kicking them away. Grabbing your ankles he pulled you closer and sunk into you, a delicious moan pouring from both of you. “Never let me hit it raw,” he groaned, taking his time with a few strokes. “Who’s fuckin’ you, baby?”

Clawing at the sheets, you writhed beneath him and choked out, “You, Mingyu, you are.” He pushed your knees backward and laid over top of you, pistoling his hips into yours.

“Say it again.”

Lips caressed your cheek, stirring you awake.

Deja vu.

The sun, the curtains, the bedding, the nakedness, the sore body, the hangover.

Except now Mingyu was crouched beside you dressed for training.

“Hi,” he whispered, his cheeks full of joy. Taking a breath, you couldn’t do anything but blink at him. “I got you a coffee already,” he said, resting his chin on the mattress. Taking a hand to your cheek he drug his thumb beneath your bottom lashes. “Come today. I want you in the stands.” A smile found his lips. “Our first season together, I wanna start it right.” He waited for you to answer but recognized he wasn’t going to get one. “Take care of yourself, okay? I’ll see you in a bit, I’ll have a car waiting for you.”

He left so fast you didn’t even hear the door close. You couldn’t put two senses together.

Another day, another hangover.

You felt like dogshit.

Taking your time to sit up, knowing this time you really felt like you could be sick, when you peeled the sheets back and caught a glimpse of your body you groaned and flopped back onto the pillows. He made a mess of you. Hickeys littered your chest, hopefully not your neck, and the insides of your thighs. You’re certain the tiny blue marks in a rounded line on your hips were from his fingers, he had you flipped every which way last night you supposed.

You barely remembered it.

But you remembered Vernon.

The way he looked at you, how he brushed you away, when you told you he loved you.

As in past tense.

It brought you a brand new physical pain you’ve never experienced, one lodged between your lungs, pulling on your heart. A hole punched there, a wound so big you weren’t sure what you were supposed to do about it. You could drink it away, have Mingyu fuck it away, but clearly it’d come right back when neither of those things were happening.

“Did you even read any of the messages I sent you at the end of last year?”

Every single one.

He was the first to message you, the first to call you, to try to get a hold of you while you cried in DK’s backseat. For days he sent little anecdotes of care, asking you if you were alright, hoping and wishing that you were safe, that you weren’t being too hard on yourself. He sent a long text the day after the dinner ITZ and ATZ shared, and he was angry. He found out you were with DK, that you left school, but he wasn’t angry with you. He was angry with Yeji, the president, for keeping your absence a weird secret from everyone, not telling anybody that you were leaving, that you withdrew from school completely.

The messages to follow were of shorter stature, and they came less frequently. Each one, between the lines, you could feel what he was feeling. Sometimes he’d call you, or try to, without it accompanying a message, hoping that maybe you’d pick up if he rang. He constantly wished you well with each text, encouraged you to do better, that he knew you would be okay, that DK would help, that you should do whatever he tells you and follow your big brother's advice.

The last one he ever sent, right around Christmas, a week before the first story of you and Mingyu erupted, he shared some words that would forever strangle you completely. Mentions of you meaning the world to him, or something, and him saying he hopes he’ll see you soon, that you’re his best friend and he has so much to tell you.

It haunts you, that message.

You should’ve answered it. That should’ve been the moment you called him.

But Mingyu had just bought you diamond earrings for Christmas. You opened them Christmas morning with both your families watching, the group of you lounging in the living room of the Kim’s mountain cabin surrounded by mile high trees, snow, and mugs of hot chocolate, the place fit to house several families at once.

You should’ve answered it.

“That’s all you got?!” you shouted, your voice echoing onto the field over Vernons head from where you sat behind home plate. Leaning against the barricade you watched him swing, just missing the ball. Dropping the bat to the dirt he flashed you a look over his shoulder, his smile teasing his lips, and started to unstrap his gloves. His coach gathered the things on the mound and began straightening up the field.

“I told you to heckle, not to be mean,” he breathed, making a face.

You pouted and he laughed. “Did I hurt your feelings, Nonie?”

“Ew,” he spat. “Don’t call me that. My little cousins call me that.” Lifting his hands over his head he stretched and groaned, leaning side to side. 

“Fine,” you sighed. His eyes shut, his brows flatlining above them. Leaving your seat you wandered through the stands and hopped into the dugout, taking yourself out onto the field to meet him where he stood. “Where’s it hurt?”

Vernon brought his arms to his side slowly, looking at you like he was trying to keep his discomfort hidden. “Everywhere,” he whispered, and you let out a laugh together. Reaching for his arms you unstrapped everything else he had on him, and he watched, quietly.

“Come on,” you said, shoving his gear into your arms. Dropping to the ground you picked up his bat and nodded your head. “Where do these go?” Massaging his own elbows he took in the sight of you carrying all of his things and took a deep breath.

“Uh,” he stammered, “Locker room. My bags are in there.”

“Okay, let’s go,” you said, and started for the dugout and the stairs that awaited you there.

“Hansol,” his coach called out, stopping you both. The man eyed you, then Vernon. “Good work today, I’ll see you here same time tomorrow.”

Vernon nodded once. “Same time tomorrow.” When he turned to you he furrowed his brows and held up a finger, stopping your thoughts that longed to come out of your mouth. “You leave him alone,” he said, passing by you.

“You need a break,” you said, following him down into the dugout and through the door into the locker room. Showers lined one wall, double stacked lockers lined the other. It was a smaller space, definitely smaller than the locker rooms at Lions Stadium in Iloa, but it was good enough for Vernon and his team.

He took to his locker and pulled it open, waving you to his side. “I don’t,” he said with a smile, taking some of his things from your arms. “I’m fine.” Gloves, gear, straps, buckles, it all went into his locker. The only thing left in your hands was his bat, a sleek black with a silver V etched into the top in a stunning font.

“You just told me everything hurts,” you said, stepping closer to him, leaning against the cool metal of the Nasara blue lockers. He copied you, thinning his lips, facing you. A few inches lived between the two of you. “You wanted me to break your hand-”

“It was a joke, Iya, I just-”

You closed the space, your middle touching his, the tips of your toes meeting. “I don’t find it very funny.” He dropped his gaze down, looking between you. “What are they working you like this for? Where’s your team? Why are you alone?”

Vernon nibbled his bottom lip and hit you with a subtle shrug before he met your eyes. “I dunno, I was… I was hoping it was, yanno, good things, but Coach has me doing the same stuff over and over. He won’t even tell me why we’re doing what we’re doing, I think I’m,” his voice trailed off as his eyebrows scrunched together, “Think I’m not doing as well as I thought I was.”

“What do you mean?” you asked, reaching for one of his hands, toying with the roughness of his fingers, his palm. He looked down at it and tried to smile. “He just told you you did great.”

“Yeah,” he scoffed. “To keep me coming back.” When he met your eyes, his gaze shattered your heart. “This is the part where guys start to give up. I’m a senior, well over the age a lot of guys in the MLB were when they were drafted and signed, if it doesn’t happen soon, I…”

“It will,” you whispered. Letting go of his hand you drug your fingers up his arm and gently dug your fingers into his muscle. His eyes fluttered shut with the quietest groan. The muscle was hard, full of knots, you could only imagine what the rest of him felt like. “Come here,” you whispered, moving him to the wide bench along the length of the lockers. “Sit down.” Placing him on the edge, you straddled the bench behind him, your thighs framing his hips. “You can keep talking to me, just let me do this.”

“Do wha- Oh my god,” he groaned the second your thumbs dug into his shoulders. A breathless laugh tumbled from your lips. “I don’t think I- Oh, god.” His head tipped backward. “Is this what they teach you in- in class?”

Popping your brows, working your fingers harder, deeper into the tissue, you said, “Kinda. On days when I can pay attention.” He groaned, lips shut, the sound emitting deep from his chest. Sucking in a deep breath, ignoring the way every groan made your heart feel, you took your hands down his knotty back and worked them there over his sleeveless shirt. “Did you know, these muscles back here, if you don’t take care of them, they could cost you your career?”

Vernon took a breath between grunts and shook his head. “No,” he whispered. “That’s your job, the therapist tells me what to- fuck, tells me what to work on- H’mygod.”

Leaning forward, pressing your chest to his back, you whispered in his ear and a shiver ran down his spine, one you could feel in the tips of your fingers. “That feel good?”

“Jesus,” he mumbled. “Don’t say that right now.”

You smiled. “Why not?”

“Because,” he pushed from his lips fast. “Just keep… Keep going.”

“But, does it-”

“Yes, Iya,” he hissed. “It feels good.”

You wished you were in front of him, in both places at once, you wanted to see his face, wanted to see what he looked like while he groaned and melted into your touch. Taking your hands all over his back, taking your time in places tighter than others, his exhausted self didn’t hold back, he told you what was good, what needed more, where he needed you, where he wanted you. Your heart pounded in your chest, you prayed he couldn’t feel it with how he leaned against you now, your fingers rubbing into his neck, toward his jaw. He rested his head on your shoulder, his eyes closed, his breath hitching in his chest with every sound that came out of him.

“Noisy boy,” you whispered, slowing your fingers that were starting to get achey. Keeping them on his shoulders, he blinked open his eyes and turned his head to look at you, his entire being relaxed, sleepy. Your thighs hugged his body, his waist, he fit perfectly between your legs.

“You’re good at that, I can’t help it,” he whispered. He must’ve realized how he was sitting, splayed back on you like you held onto his consciousness through your ministrations of his body, because he tried to sit up, his body moving slow, heavy. 

You kept him in place, holding him back, keeping him pressed to you. Giving you a look, his brows showing the slightest bit of pure curiosity, you took a breath and slid your hands down his chest keeping your eyes locked on his. Placing them right over his heart, you paused, and waited.

Then you felt it.

His heart beat in time with yours, racing faster than it should be for what you were just doing to him. Shifting, trying to move, Vernon hummed his disapproval of what you were feeling. The smallest smile graced your lips.

“No,” he whispered, smiling with you. “You started it, I felt yours first.”

Flickering your eyes to his parted lips, you held your breath and looked back at his hooded gaze. “Can I kiss you?” 

“Please,” he whispered.

Taking a hand to his curls, leaving the other over his heart, you dipped your chin down and altered the relationship you shared with him forever. His lips, soft, a little shy, met yours and he sucked in a breath, his heart beating quicker, heavier. A single breath between parted lips was like a switch flipped, in seconds his energy came back and he was pulling you off the bench and onto his lap, helping you straddle his waist comfortably on the wood beneath him.

With your hands on his jaw you kept his head tipped upward, not wanting to waste a second without his lips on yours. Your body melted into his with his arms around your back, his fingertips pressing you closer, holding you tight, yet ever so gently. The way you responded to one another, your bodies, your breath, it was unlike anything you’ve ever shared with anyone else. In just a few heated kisses a warmth filled your being, tangled with your veins, your heart, pooling in your center telling you that this was it.

It was Vernon. This was it, everything you’d ever need.

As much as it terrified you, you'd never felt more sure about anything, god, you felt like you could cry, like so much was pent up within you, so many things you’ve teased him with, teased each other with, but deep down knew was horrifically true.

Without thinking you rolled your hips against him and felt him smile into your kiss. Hands with a mind of their own, they scrambled for the hem of his shirt and yanked it over his head, two blushing smiles meeting in the middle all over again once it hit the floor. Kissing you, long and slow, his hands took their time dropping the hoodie from your shoulders, the grey cotton meeting his shirt where it was dropped. Lips ghosting each other, he brushed his nose over yours, shivering as your fingers danced down his bare chest and tugged at the strap of the shorts he wore that made it so painfully obvious what he wanted.

“What are you doing?” he asked in a whisper, his smile never seeming to leave his face.

Rolling your hips a bit, you smirked as a breath corrupted his lungs. “Finishing what you started,” you whispered, and kissed the tip of his nose. “Can I take these off?”

Vernon breathed through a laugh. “Yeah, you’ve seen it before.”

“Right,” you giggled and tugged at the elastic. “Can I taste it?”

His hips pushed up beneath you as another breath shot through him. “You, fu- Iya, hang on,” he rambled on as you giggled and worked him out of his shorts. “If you- If you do, I won’t be able to- fuck.” Straddling his waist again you wrapped a hand around the bottom of his length, smiling as you gave him a good squeeze.

Leaning into him you caught his lips in a kiss. “You grower,” you teased, and he tried to laugh with you. “Holy shit, V. Can I…”

Steadying his breath, or trying to, he narrowed his eyes. “Can you, what?” he asked, tilting his chin just to brush his lips over yours, not even to kiss you. “What do you want?”

“You.”

“You have me.”

Kissing him, a soft whine was muffled by his lips, his tongue slipping between your lips this time. Moving off of him, your lips the last thing to leave him, he watched you where he sat, chest rising with each breath he took. Fingers finding the zipper of your mini skirt, Vernon reached forward and shook his head, wrapping his arms around your waist, slotting you between his legs. Looking up at you, he took you out of your skirt, then pushed up the hem of your tank, pressing kisses to the skin above the thin stretch of lace waiting for him beneath the denim.

“That skirt makes me crazy by the way,” he whispered, both of you laughing. Pressing his nose to your skin, his fingers curled over the lace and pushed it down your thighs, his lips worshiping this unexplored part of your body. Big brown eyes gazed up at you and you couldn’t take anymore. With a smile you leapt on top of him, tangling your fingers in his hair, engulfing his lips with yours. Reaching between your bodies you wrapped a hand around him and parted from him to rise to your knees, but his hands latched onto your shoulders, both worry and disappointment in his eyes. “Iya, Iya, wait,” he whispered, mentally kicking himself. “Are we not gonna… Do you want me to… I don’t- I don’t have anything here, or on me.”

You admired his worry, you smiled at him, reassuring him with a kiss. “I’ve seen you make double plays,” you whispered and his eyes softened. “I trust your sense of timing.” Before he could say anything else, protest about your safety like you knew he would want to, like you’ve been doing to him for weeks, the hypocrite, you kissed him, and you sunk down on him, moaning into his mouth at the stretch and how his hands gripping onto your hips in a hurry, his fingers digging into your skin.

Neither of you moved, for several seconds, maybe minutes, you held onto one another, pressed chest to chest, sharing nothing but the laziest kisses and labored breaths. He was the first to move, flipping you over to your back, the wood cold against your skin making you gasp.

“No, come on,” you whispered, half a laugh coming out with it. “Let me take care of you.”

Vernon smiled, pressing his lips to your cheek and down your jaw. With the slowest push of his hips your jaw fell open and he caught your parted lips in a kiss. “You already did that,” he whispered, lowering himself on top of you, “My turn.”

home;run masterlist | talk to me | ao3

you do not have permission to copy or translate my works without my consent.

[so-long-soldier-writes]

~ part 2: drabbles, headcanons, etc.

~ updated: 11/18/24

~ read tags before reading; each fic is thoroughly tagged  

~ back to masterlist

#1 - stomach ache ~ fluff

kai comforting you when you have a stomach ache

#2 - pink starbursts ~ fun

listening to caroline plan a party gets boring. kai finds a way to entertain himself.

#3 - can’t help that i love you ~ fluff; soft!kai

while you and kai aren't necessarily in a relationship, no one can ignore the way you are together. it started with kai's nightmares, bringing you to his side for nightly comfort. soon, gentle touches on his back led to full blown hugs and forehead kisses; simple conversation turned to long talks, and you're only getting closer every day. kai feels safe with you, and you're falling for him. maybe he's falling for you, too. this is why your "thing" needs to stop. right now.

#4 - the dinner party ~ smut

ten minutes before company arrives. five to finish up, two to clean up, one to fix your hair, and the last two to occupy yourself with something inconspicuous. a perfect amount of time. let's just hope they don't show up early...  

#5 - stupid, sad movie ~ soft!kai

since kai missed out on over a decade of movies, you now spend your nights watching the best ones. tonight's movie: titanic.

#6 - “i took his virginity” ~ best friend!kol mikaelson x reader

you should've known kol would find out about your new boyfriend before you'd be able to tell him yourself. luckily, you're able to talk him into accepting kai, as long as he treats you right.

#7 - kissing disease ~ fun

despite the deal he had made with her several weeks ago, kai needs his sister for her medical opinion, again.

#8 - jumpscares ~ fun; best friend kai

kai has the worst timing for wanting your attention

#9 - hope ~ hurt / comfort; tw: sh

kai notices your scars.

#10 - aphrodisiac ~ fun

you can only listen to damon ramble on for so long before you lose focus. unfortunately, this time, your zoning out manages to cause maximum embarrassment when the rest of the group follows your line of sight.

#11 - sinful ~ smut

shoe humping with kai... specifically, those old 1994 converse

#12 - kiss on the cheek ~ fluff

kai receiving a kiss on the cheek would have no freaking clue what to do with himself. 

#13 - the massage ~ fluff

kai's sure he'll win the bet. you're positive he won't.

#14 - morning coffee ~ fluff; fun

the sun rises. a new day starts. yet, everything remains the same, but nothing's where you left it.

#15 - attention to detail ~ fluff

kai admires the way you watch tv.

• dating yandere!kai ~ mild violence; some fluff

• heretic kai x accident prone reader ~ fluff

• driving lessons ~ fun

• kai’s sex life

• king!kai / royalty au

• demon!kai x angel!reader // angel!kai x demon!reader ~ smut; corruption kink

• how he would be academically / intelligence-wise

• childhood best friends to lovers ~ angst; fluff

• werewolf alpha kai // kai's demigod parent (pjo) ~ nsfw; fun

• kai with a lip ring ~ mildly nsfw

• body swap au ~ fun

• comfort ~ tw: [non-graphic] non-consent; csa

a flashback to his childhood. a terrifying memory he thought he had repressed. | pre-1994 |

• the dog ~ tw: violence, animal death; read at your own risk

kai hates the family dog. | pre-1994 |

[snowe-zolynn-rogers]

The poll is over from yesterday and Starburst has surprisingly won and will progress to round 2. Heliosphere is tackling his 10 voters with love and affection.

[spaceacealex]

Trip report!!

For those that have been waiting, sorry! I got home and immediately had to go help with a family thing. But here it is!

First, was the obvious. We had to drop off the baby boy with my parents. He had a great time with the family and was very dirty, stinky, and sleepy when we got back.

So where were we? We went to see the eclipse! As many of you know, My wife proposed to me under totality in the 2017 solar eclipse. So she surprised me with time off to travel to this last one on 4/8!

We flew to Nashville, TN and rented a car so I could scratch my road trip itch. We visited her family in KY, then went up to Cairo, IL for the event.

THIS is the public library in Cairo. It's an absolutely darling building, built originally to be a library and still proudly serving that purpose. The gals who were manning the counter were sweet, knowledgeable, and so welcoming. They had goodie bags with moon pies and starbursts and collected the eclipse glasses when we were done with them so they could be sterilized and sent down to Mexico for the next eclipse. So lovely to talk with and they welcomed us to spend the eclipse on their lawn with some local families. So we did!

We had a little picnic, chatted with some of the families, and got to watch totality in a tiny little town with so much character I still smile just thinking about it.

Hopefully you don't expect us to have top tier eclipse photography lol, but these are great for us! I got to kiss my wife under totality and it was hella romantic.

Then I got to drive more....then Kara got to drive because there were a ton of accidents and the three hour drive back to Nashville took more than six hours. So uh, my motion-sick self was struggling with the stop and go traffic.

But when we got there, we had a great night and then day walking around Eastside Nashville and pointing out the arcades I was going to take Kara to that evening.

That didn't quite happen.

Because the first stop we made in the arcade crawl is where we stayed all night.

No Quarter, the pinball arcade I now have a hat for because it's so friggin cool. We got to do many cool things there. 1)They had excellent drinks and in true Oregonian fashion I got to try the local cider and judge it. (it was good!) 2) I kicked Kara's ass at pinball. Very important. 3) I got MY ass kicked at pinball by literally every other person in the building. Also very important. Because 4) I got to play in a pinball tournament hosted by Belles and Chimes, specifically for women and non binary folks!

How did I, notorious nerves-haver and not a multiplayer pinball player join this?

5) I got to meet Quinn Hills. You know, @quinnhills ? Yeah. I'm still so giggly about it.

Hi. This pic is me, many drinks in, just absolutely giddy getting to meet (and hug!!) one of my favorite artists.

She's so sweet, so kind, and asked if I wanted to join the tournament.

Remember: do what beautiful women ask of you.

I am still kicking myself because I dropped the cliche, "your music has helped me through some really hard stuff." I mean, its absolutely true!! But I had told myself I was gonna be more eloquent than that. Oh well. I would blame the cider, but I was super excited and nervous before that, so I think I'm just a little goofy.

Kara also was happy to meet the woman who's music I had been blaring for that whole six plus hour car ride back to Nashville, and she's agreed to play pinball with me at our home bar! Major win!

We stayed until one in the morning, Kara ordered pizza to the hotel, and we had safe flights back home the rest of the day.

It was such a fun trip and I'm still losing my mind at all the little bits of it.

When I stream next (soon) I'm sure you'll hear about all this again. Along with my breakdown of eclipse conspiracies I've spent far too much time analyzing. <3

[sweaterkittensahoy]

Olympics AU with Chick as a shot putter and Jack as a pole valutist (is that a word), and Jack DOES knock the pole down with his dick, and Chick gets gold, and when someone asks "How's your teammate Jack Kidd doing with his loss?"

And Chick's high on winning and just says, "Well, now he knows how it feels to get railed by that thing."

And Jack's watching from the Olympic village and SCREAMS.

Especially when Bucky, who is next to Chick because he's up next to answer questions about javelin and long jump, fucking LOSES it and tries to whisper to Chick "Are you two officially out?" but the mic picks it up.

And Jack screams MORE.

And then Curt steps into frame because he's waiting to get interviewed post-heat, and he says, "Hey, we agreed the rumors had to happen naturally, no on-camera claims!" And Bucky immediately apologizes while Curt rolls his eyes and plays up that it's another of those dumb bets he and Bucky always have going at competitions. Their goal was to create a relationship rumor and see if anyone noticed.

And Jack finally breathes again because Curt's come in clutch, and by the time Curt and Bucky are doing being chaotic, Chick's apologized for saying something rude and promises not to do it again, and Jack is sitting on the couch in the common room at the village with Buck next to him patting him on the shoulder and feeding him Starbursts one at a time so Jack has something to do with his hands.

And the boys all make it back to the dorm, and Jack greets Chick with "WHAT THE FUCK" And Chick fucking breaks down laughing and pulls Jack away to try and break their third cardboard bed (they want to snap five by the time they leave).

And Buck pokes Bucky, and Bucky starts loudly complaining Buck isn't allowed to poke him in any way if he's still abstaining until his event (he is).

And Curt leaves them to bicker to go and find Dickie so they can have a good luck fuck before they get ready for relay.

[dapper-lil-arts]

Thoughts on rarijackdash, startrixburst, and chrysarmordance? For me, these are personally my favorite mlp ot3s

I personally hc that Rainbow Dash actually does enjoy dressing up(a la g3 Rainbow Dash, but only occasionally), so other than modeling(cuz she doesn't like sitting still) she actually enjoys Rarity's work(besides, both AJ and RD are like the heroes in Rarity's tropey adventure romance books, with one being strong and brave, and the other being swift and cunning), and there's just something about Rainbow and Applejack's constant competitiveness

I could NEVER break up startrix, and for starburst I really enjoy the childhood friends dynamic. I've actually consumed more mlp fan content than the actual show or comics, so I don't know much about Trixie and Sunburst's dynamic, so they might be better as queer-platonic, but I do enjoy the hc of them both being trans(Trixie being transfem and Sunburst being transmasc)

I think it would be sweet if two beings of love were wives, but it would funny if they were also the wives of Just Some Guy(TM)

Ohhh very very interesting, okay lemme give my thoughts cause this is a good ask

rarijackdash - This one is pretty funny, because i see exactly what you find appealing about it, its like a love triangle that ends in a polycule n stuff. Rarity keeping the competition going because she likes both of them and loves them fighting for her affection is very cute; but i have never even concidered this one, because there is no world in my mind in which between AJ and RD competing for someone's romantic affections (specialy rarity) that applejack wouldn't win by a landslide everytime, lmao. I'm sorry to rainbow dash fans but the girl is tragicaly self centered and nigh charmless; but i definitely see the potential on what you mean! (also ive recently discovered that Rainbow had closer to rarity's personality on g3 which is very fun) Though hey, i see the potential you mean! its a cute trio. (rarijack has made me mentally ill though i love it too much. 20 pages in to writing a shrek1 but its rarijack fic and i'm not stopping) Okay now the case with startrixburst is an peculiar one, because although sunburst is def one of the best male characters in the show, thats also an incredibly low bar, so i never really thought of it; i do find it funny for a failpolycule of unicorns centered around the biggest failgirl of all time, starlight tho. Worth stating i never paid much mind to the childhood friends backstory because it pissed me off that starlights backstory is "i was traumatized bc i was inconvenienced as a kid and now i'll make it everyones problem" its hard to salvage a character after such a weak ass backstory. But hey, it does seem to come naturaly to make this polycule trio, i aint got nothin against it! (lord knows the startrix dynamic is impecable though) Okay in the case of chrysarmordance, this might be my favorite of all three because like. i thought of how bland shining and cadance's relationship was on the show, then i thought of how simple Cadance and chrysalis would be, but if you stick her boy in the middle; suddenly something really fucking funny happens. Whether its two beings of love arguing over 1 white boy, or if its Shining getting cucked by a bug monster, the entire thing becomes fucking hilarious, with such a potential for hilarious jokes. Alright imma do something i normaly wouldnt do and show some disjointed notes of a multiverse story i'm writing because it's pertinent to this ship and also fucking hilarious.

[peachy-doodles]

i bet you WISH you were them ^_^

[ivanttakethis]

Post Row 4 - Tov’s Log

————————————————————

Once the lockdown lifted, an armored vehicle escorted Tov from the Alien Stage back to Cassio’s house.

When Tov finally got out of bed the next day, Wren was waiting for her in the living room.

“There’s the luckiest girl in the world!”

Her mask was white instead of its usual pink. It matched her hair.

Tov wondered if she ever took the damn thing off.

But more importantly:

“How the fuck did you get in here?”

“Someone’s awfully pissy today.” Wren snickered.

Tov leveled her with a look, “I almost died last night. Again.”

“Which is exactly why I came over. We need to strategize for the final round.”

“I already have a strategy.”

“Throw that one out,” Wren said waving her hand, “You won’t win with it.”

“Excuse me?”

“I said you won’t win with it.”

Tov narrowed her eyes, “How can you be so sure?”

“Because it won’t be like Round 10.”

Tov’s irritation shifted to confusion, “What does Round 10 have to do with the finals?”

“Sit down and I’ll explain.”

Part of Tov wanted to argue; refuse to yield to Wren’s brute force way of engaging her in conversation.

But another part — a fragile, trembling part — wanted to know what Wren had in mind.

She couldn’t risk another round ending so close. And it was clear now that her current strategy wasn’t working.

Lightning had already struck twice.

Tov feared fate would not be so kind to her a third time.

Reluctantly, she sat down on the couch across from Wren. “Okay,” she said, sighing. “I’m listening.”

Wren didn’t speak right away.

She was quiet. Thoughtful.

She tilted her head slightly to the side, as if trying to make sense of something hidden in Tov’s expression.

“You’re running from something.” She said, finally.

Tov blinked. “What?”

“I could hear it in your voice, in Round 26 and Round 29.” Wren said, as if that explained anything. “Since then I’ve been wondering what it could be, but I think I know now.”

She met Tov’s eyes then, knowing.

“You loved Himei.”

It’s a statement, not a question. And it seized her heart in a vice grip.

Before Tov could open her mouth to ask how she knew that, Wren cut her off.

“You didn’t have to tell me. It’s easy to see. You talked about her all the time in your interviews.” Wren’s tone changed to something more somber. “That, and you nearly died of a broken heart when she lost.”

Oh.

Right.

All of the air rushed out of Tov.

You were there. You saw how devastated I was.

I’m still devastated now.

“When you performed last round, you looked at the stars. But you didn’t look at her stars.”

Another statement.

She couldn’t even argue.

Wren was right.

When Tov sang to the stars of the people she’d lost, she found comfort in Moran’s thought bubble, and Flor’s bunny ears, and Lang’s starburst.

She didn’t look for Himei’s spider lily.

She couldn’t bring herself to.

Tov barely won the round as it was.

If she’d thought about anything related to Himei on that stage, she would’ve crumbled and lost.

Even thinking about her constellation now pinched something tender in her chest.

Wren’s tone softened, “You haven’t grieved her, have you?”

Have I?

Tov thought back to Round 24.

She didn’t remember anything between when Himei was shot and waking up in the hospital with Wren at her bedside telling her she had a heart attack.

After that, she’d spent several days recovering; heavily medicated and in and out of consciousness to let her heart rest.

Then came the message. The song. The beacon of hope.

Tallis.

She and Akane tied. A coin flip decided their fate. Akane took matters into her own hands.

Lang self destructed.

Another round too close for comfort. The lockdown. Jae’s rescue.

And now—

Tov hesitated.

Had she really grieved Himei?

So much had happened since her death, one thing after another.

Did Tov truly have the time to?

“No,” she said, her voice thick.

Stray tears ran down her cheeks.

Fuck, not again.

I don’t want to cry anymore.

She scrubbed the wetness away with the palm of her hand. “Not really, no.”

“When was the last time you looked at her stars?”

“The night before Round 24,” she said, sniffling.

After she kissed me like she was afraid.

After I told her I hated when she did that.

“Don't kiss me afraid. Just kiss me.”

I pleaded with the stars to protect her, but it didn’t work.

Tov couldn’t meet Wren’s eyes anymore.

She hated being torn open like this, over and over again.

Strapped to a cold slab and dissected for an emotional autopsy.

“You grieve people with the stars.” Wren said. “Naming constellations after them is sort of a release for you. But Himei and Tallis already had constellations named for them, so you didn’t have that release. You’re still bottling up all of your grief for Himei.”

Tov’s thoughts snagged on Wren’s words.

Grief for Himei.

Not grief for Himei and Tallis.

“How did I release my grief for Tallis?”

The corners of Wren’s eyes creased in a smile, clearly pleased that Tov picked up on her choice of words.

“You sang.” She said. “And that’s why you won Round 10.”

Tov frowned, “What do you mean?”

“The emotion in your voice in that round is why you won by such a large margin.” She said. “All of your performances since then have been great, but they’re missing the emotion that made Round 10 so special. You sang for Tallis then. Now, if you want to win, you need to sing for Himei.”

“I can’t—”

“Yes, you can.” Wren countered. “You’ve done it before.”

Tov let out a humorless laugh, “Yeah, well, it fucking hurt then too.”

“I’m not saying it won’t.” Wren said lightly. “But you need to embrace it. Use that hurt. Let it out in your song. That’s what people want to see from you.”

“They don’t get to have my grief.”

“Tov,” Wren’s tone turned serious, “You can’t run from this. Remember what I said in the hospital? It’s win or die. Let Himei help you win.”

“No—” Tov said quickly, sharply. Far more harsh than she wanted.

She took a deep breath and forced it out through her nose, ignoring the sting of her own words.

It's not her fault.

It's not anyone's fault.

That's the hardest part, right?

Tov pulled her knees up to her chest, “I told you. I can’t… I can’t do it.”

Wren sighed.

“If you can’t do it for yourself, then do it for her.”

Tov didn’t respond.

The two sat in silence as the minutes ticked by.

Wren was the one to break the tension.

“Well, I’ll let you think about it. Don’t wait too long to make a decision.” She said, getting to her feet.

Tov kept her head down, rubbed too raw to say anything without snapping.

“The skies will be pretty clear tonight,” She heard Wren say from somewhere near the door. “It’s a perfect time for stargazing.”

———

Night fell.

Both too soon and not soon enough.

Cassio wasn’t home yet.

Tov had been alone with her thoughts for hours, staring unseeingly out the window as the sun sank below the horizon.

Wren’s parting words still played on a loop in her head.

“The skies will be pretty clear tonight. It’s a perfect time for stargazing.”

Tov knew what she was trying to say:

“Go look for Himei in the stars.”

Her gaze lingered on the balcony doors.

She knew what awaited her would be painful. More painful than anything she’d ever had to confront before.

But even if she didn’t want to admit it, Wren was right.

If Tov wanted to keep living, keep honoring the ones she lost and stay close to those she still had, she needed to win against Cirrus.

Ignoring the grief would not make it go away.

It wouldn’t bring Himei back either.

Her death was a wound Tov had been trying to stitch with her eyes closed.

That was never going to work.

She had to start from scratch.

Undo the mess she’d made thus far.

With her heart in her throat, Tov rose from the roots she’d grown on the couch.

She focused on putting one foot in front of the other, rather than the heartache that was yet to come.

With one hand on the door handle, she took a deep breath.

Cut it open.

Let it bleed.

Then you can heal.

Tov pushed the door open and let the cool evening air inside.

As she stepped out onto the balcony, a wave of deja vu washed over her.

She hadn’t been out here since Azure died in Round 1.

That felt like a lifetime ago now.

But the night sky looked just as it did then, cloudless and star filled.

Tov hadn’t dared to look for Himei’s constellation in Round 29.

But she didn’t fight it this time.

She let her gaze drift naturally, like a moth to a vibrant flame, until the stars came together to form spider lily petals.

Tov gripped the fabric of her shirt over her heart.

Her bones ached and her blood sung.

“Hi, Mei.” She whispered, finally letting the tears blurring her vision flow freely.

Himei had told her years ago to call her by that nickname, but Tov never did.

It didn’t feel right to her.

Until now.

With a bittersweet taste on her tongue, a small, unbidden smile graced her lips.

“It’s been a while, yeah?”

————————————————————

Wren’s bluntness has finally forced Tov to rip the bandaid off about Himei.

Tov hasn’t grieved Himei mostly because she hasn’t had time to. But she also knows that the process will be very painful.

Himei is an integral part of who Tov is as a person. She’s also the reason why Tov has come to know and love so many other people, like Tallis and Dian.

Acknowledging Himei’s death will change Tov irreparably. She knows this. Thats why she has tried to avoid doing it for so long.

And while it has been a huge motivator for her to keep going, finding out that Tallis is alive inadvertently helped Tov continue to “cover up” the fact that Himei is gone. Though she isn’t doing this consciously. It’s more of a coping mechanism.

But this change has affected her ability to perform. The audience feels her lacking something. If she wants to win against Cirrus in the finals, she can’t run from that something anymore.

Himei and Tallis belong to @lookatmysillies.