#star wars funnies

[cloneloverrrrr]

Sorry whoever made this hats off to ya 😂😂😂😂😂

[firealder2005]

A New Hope Incorrect Quotes Part 2!

and here’s the long awaited part 2 to that ANH incorrect quotes post i made a LONG time ago. i found them in my notebook while reorganizing my room!

anywho. let’s begin!

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Han: *doesn’t believe in the Force*

Obi-Wan: Bitch.

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Han: a laser sword’s no match for a good blaster at your side, kid!

Luke: *deflects blaster bolts*

Han:

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Tarkin: She lied to us!

Vader, picking his cybernetic nails: wow that’s surprising.

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Luke: *starts bribing Han*

Chewie: 

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Luke: I’m Luke Skywalker, I’m here to rescue you!

Leia: who da faq are you?

Padme, from the afterlife: BE NICE TO YOUR BROTHER!

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Vader: No. I must face him [Obi-Wan] alone.

Vader: *dramatic cape twirl*

Tarkin: .......Skywalkers.

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Leia: *being bossy, demanding, and critical*

Han:  🎶What is this feeling, so sudden, and new? 🎶

Chewie: Love?

Han: No, I wanna kill her.

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Han: *screaming*

Stormtroopers: Surprise, bitch.

Han: Oh, shit! *bolts*

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Obi-Wan: *turns the corner*

Vader: Yo.

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*Obi-Wan & Vader duel*

Obi-Wan: I’ll try spinning, that’s a good trick!

Vader: THAT’S MY LINE!

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Vader: *slashes Obi-Wan*

Obi-Wan: Peace out. *poof*

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Obi-Wan: *sees Luke & Leia*

Obi-Wan, smirking: Prepare to suffer Darth. Your kids will drive you as nuts as you drove me nuts for all those years!

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Also Obi-Wan: *sees Luke & Leia*

Obi-Wan: oh my niece and nephew are reunited! Yes! After all these years they’re back together!

Vader: *kills him*

Obi-Wan: seriously, bro? wtf, in front of your kids too? Really?

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Tarkin: Are you sure the homing beacon is on their ship?

Vader, stinkeying him: ARE YOU QUESTIONING MY ABILITY?!?!?!?

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Luke: Take care of yourself Han. I guess that’s what you’re best at, isn’t it?

Han, nodding: Sick burn, kid. Sick burn.

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Luke & Biggs: *Gay Vibes*

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Vader: The Force is strong with this one.

Vader: Familiar too.

Vader: //Hmmmm.....//

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Vader, mechanical genius, who probably knew about the flaw but kept his mouth shut, seeing the Rebels target the reactor shaft: ...............

Vader: welp, I’m outta here. Peace out, suckers!

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R2: *sees Vader’s TIE*

R2: Bitch, that’s your boi you’re attacking!

Vader: *shoots R2*

R2: //BITCH!!!//

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Leia, during the metal ceremony: :|

Luke: :)

Leia: ....... :)

Han: :D

Leia: :-|

R2: I’M ALIVE BITCHES!!!!

[mostly-funnytwittertweets]

[cloneloverrrrr]

😭😭😭😭 I’m not sure why I found this so hilarious

It’s been a long night I am D Y I N G for some caf someone go grab Fox for me 💁🏻‍♀️

[now-you-sound-like-a-jedi]

If Obi-Wan had actually stayed on Mandalore with Satine after the Civil War and left the Jedi Order, it would've made The Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones peak comedy.

Like, Qui-Gon would still be sent to Naboo and end up on Tatooine, he'd still meet Anakin and take him back to the Temple. But, in this AU, he survives the battle on Theed and takes Anakin as his padawan. And the entire Order would be making jokes:

"Congrats on the new padawan! Hope he sticks around longer than the last one!" "We'll keep this one off the bodyguard missions, eh Qui-Gon?"

So one day little Anakin’s like "hey master, what happened to your last padawan?" And Qui-Gon's like "oh he ran off with a girl, yeah he's royalty in the Outer Rim now".

And it's all fine and dandy until Anakin’s nineteen and they get assigned to protect Padmé, and Qui-Gon takes one look at this kid's face and thinks "You've got to be fucking kidding me, this shit again??"

[awolfnamedluna]

@ashalunderscore

space catholic “will my dog go to heaven” since droids don’t have a force signature

inspired by the last paragraph of this post lmao

[padmestrilogy]

best scene in the prequels is when anakin and padme have just landed on naboo & padme goes “hmm being a childqueen might’ve fucked me up a bit” and anakin, former 9yo slave separated from his mom, confronted for perhaps the first time with the idea that childhood trauma effects you later in life, goes “nuh uh”

[firealder2005]

NO POOR LUKE :(

What would TL4J think if they watched the sequels (as an AU reaction type thing)?

(commission info // tip jar!)

[mostly-funnytwittertweets]

[mearchy]

The best fics are the ones that recognize that although Luke Skywalker may APPEAR on the outside to be a normal friendly twink who happens to have cool powers, especially when contrasted with such ship partners as Boba or Din or even Han, he is arguably the scariest person alive in the galaxy around the prequel era. AND, crucially, he is also a fundamentally weird guy. This man was homeschooled on a rural farm his entire life and then apprenticed to a swamp gremlin who showed him how to tap into the cosmic power of the universe. He blew up the death star age 19, killing approx 2 million-ish Imperials. He is a vortex of Force power that can communicate with the ghosts of dead Jedi. He’s staring into the distance and mumbling to himself and doing Yoda aphorisms and casually pulling out the “yeah I could crush that guy into a paste with my mind (:” and nobody around him knows what to do with that. I think he is a character who has very little frame of reference for how a Jedi or a person in general is supposed to act and there is some thing about him that is by necessity really fucking weird and a little scary but he’s so nice that it can throw you off the scent a little bit. Thanks for coming to my TED talk

[awolfnamedluna]

@ashalunderscore

This is what happened, right?

Additionally (because obi-wan is just too babygirl for only one person in the entire galaxy to call him such), some alternate options:

[no1kylorenfan]

creds: people on pinterest

[supertaliart]

You know when you forget to put away something that ends up in your selfie?

[freeshavacado]

I’m so sad.

[firealder2005]

#pls this is so accurate#you get it op you get it#dinluke#the mandalorian#luke skywalker#luke threatening to use the force but then just punching boba with bare hands 10/10 no notes

Luke: I DON'T NEED THE FORCE TO FUCK A BITCH UP!!!!