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sollis-occasum · 7 months ago

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you think i'm gone 'cause i left - anakin skywalker/darth vader x fem!jedi!reader (part 1 of 3)

summary: After failing to save you from a painful death, Darth Vader remembers his past with you and realizes why he can never completely leave Anakin Skywalker behind.

warnings: angst, no use of y/n, reconstructive surgery, blood, mentions of major character death (or not who knows), darth vader is his own warning

word count: 3.8k

a/n: First of all, I must say that English is not my native language. Also this is my first x reader format fanfiction. I'm pretty sure I made some mistakes but I hope you don't mind guys. I am always open to your suggestions ��

part 2

Darth Vader, the master of the dark side of the Force, the legendary lord of the Sith, the tyrannical leader who terrorized the galaxy, remembered very well the moment when he swore to dedicate his worthless life to Lord Sidious, his lord and savior.

While his body, burned and torn apart by the lava, was trying to be fixed by the health droids, he was writhing in despair and moaning in a painful voice. The wave of pain spreading from his lungs to the rest of his body with each breath showed him a type of physical pain he had never experienced before, and even the cold metal hands touching his burned skin were insufficient to alleviate his pain.

"He should be unconscious by now," he heard a distant and very deep robotic voice, which he thought belonged to one of the medical droids. Yes, the pain he felt at that moment would be enough to kill another human being and maybe even drive them insane, and God knows that's what Anakin wanted with all his heart as he lay on the operating table screaming. But how could this be possible when he sees your lifeless body over and over again every time he closes his eyes?

In fact, he had calculated all the possibilities down to the smallest detail while making his plan. There was no war he wouldn't fight, no enemy he wouldn't face to create a future that included you. He was ready to turn his back on the entire galaxy just to see you smile one more time. Moreover, Palpatine had made a promise to him. He said that contrary to popular belief, it was possible to resist death and that he knew how to do it, and that he would help Anakin in trying to save you. All he had to do was accompany him to the dark side. Anakin had done everything he was told. He had given up on who he was, accepted the name his new master had given him, brutally executed separatist leaders, and led thousands of clone troopers in attacking the Jedi Temple he once called home. Even killing those little children who looked at him with admiration with the lightsaber they saw as a symbol of peace was not important to him. Of course, he wasn't proud of himself for betraying what he believed in in his past, but he also knew that what he did was a small price to pay to save you. So why didn't what he did work? Why couldn't he prevent the scene he had seen many times in his nightmares from happening?

He gripped the operating table tightly with his mechanical hand and mumbled your name in a voice only he could hear. He kept saying your name over and over again, as if he was drawing strength from you, as if you could come and save him if he said it enough times.

He closed his eyes tightly and tried to focus on something other than your pained facial expression and bloodied body. If he wanted to survive, if he wanted to rise up and take revenge for what was done to you, he had to find a way to endure the pain he suffered, and what was there in this life that gave him as much strength as you? He tried desperately to remember the moment you first met.

Nearly a month had passed since Qui Gon Jinn's death, and during this time his new master Obi Wan Kenobi had begun training him to become a Jedi. He was grateful for the opportunity given to him and did not want to be ungrateful. However, there were so many moments during his training that he despaired and wanted to return to Tatooine... First of all, Obi Wan Kenobi was not the person he imagined. Yes, it was an undeniable fact that he was a powerful Jedi. He was also smart, very smart. Anakin knew there was a lot of thing he could learn from him. However, it hadn't been long since he had ended his life as a padawan and Obi Wan had obviously not yet fully figured out how to be a good master for his young student. There was no distance or formality between them that there should be between a padawan and a master. They were more like two brothers who fought often. Obi Wan was pushing Anakin very hard to teach him basic things as soon as possible, and Anakin was always managing to drive Obi Wan crazy with his smarty-pants attitude.

He could also sense how the younglings at the temple felt about him as he began to learn how to use the force. Although none of them were directly mistreating him or making a rude remark, Anakin would sometimes catch their gaze. There was displeasure in those looks, obviously his presence disturbed them. A child who appears unexpectedly becomes a padawan without training in the temple and becomes the center of attention of the entire Jedi council... The other younglings must have felt unfair. But one day, he met a young girl who looked at him differently than others: You.

With your bright smile that could light up the whole galaxy and your compassionate gaze, you extended your hand to him and introduced yourself, telling him that he could always come to you if he needed anything. They said you were 9 years old like him, but it was so hard for him to believe it.

You were different from all the other children Anakin had met at the temple, with your confident demeanor and room-filling presence. Your surprisingly mature attitude and wisdom gave those who saw you the impression that you never made mistakes and that you always knew what was right, causing them to respect you.

Moreover, you were beautiful, very beautiful. Even your messy hair waving in the wind, your face dripping with sweat, and your loose-fitting uniform couldn't prevent Anakin from seeing this beauty. When his eyes met your beautiful, understanding eyes, he immediately looked away and wanted to run away. There was no doubt that you were the angel the pilots who came to Tatooine were talking about. However, he could not find the courage in his heart to admit this to himself or to tell you. He felt so small, so helpless in front of the being that he wanted to get away from it as soon as possible and think about what this warm feeling that filled his heart that he had never felt before was.

Yes, he wanted to run away from you when your eyes met. But ironically, this was the first time he didn't want to return to Tatooine to his mother.

For the 3 years after you met, you had no communication other than chance encounters at the temple and furtive glances at each other. Even a life form without eyes could easily understand that you wanted to be closer to each other, but you had neither the time nor the courage to do so. You were very busy with your studies. In the future, you wanted to be a female Jedi as respected as Shaak Ti, or even more so, and you were working very hard to achieve your goal. Anakin, on the other hand, began to go on missions given by the council with Obi Wan, and the difficulty of these missions was increasing. You were so close to Anakin, yet he felt like you were hundreds of light years away from him. You were unreachable to him.

Anakin heard that you were accepted as a padawan by Plo Koon when you turned 13. According to rumors in the temple, the Jedi knight from Dorin noticed your great potential and volunteered to train you. Maybe you weren't as good at using a lightsaber as the other padawans, you might not have been as strong or as durable, but you were smart, very smart. Your dangerously high intelligence level, combined with your composure, easily compensated for your other weaknesses, making you a promising Jedi knight candidate. Even the council had high hopes for you. That's why they didn't interfere with Plo Koon's training style and allowed him to take you out early on missions that could be considered at least partially dangerous.

It was thanks to one of these missions that you came together again. The Senate thought that a small newly established weapons factory on one of the republic's planets was making some irregularities and put pressure on the Jedi to resolve this situation. The council assigned you and Plo Koon to inspect this factory.

It didn't sound that difficult, actually. You would make a short journey to reach the planet in question, tour the factory, talk to the engineers, examine some documents and intimidate the managers.

What could go wrong with such a simple task? To be honest, you weren't known for being lucky, and as usual, trouble had found you.

Anakin and Obi-Wan didn't even need to contact Plo Koon to realize that the Senate was right about the factory producing weapons for Mandolorian terrorists. Less than a day after you arrived on the planet, you reached the council and reported that the factory was completely abandoned, saying that you were trapped and surrounded by thousands of droids and asked for help. The council also assigned Obi Wan and Anakin, who had returned from a mission to a nearby planet, to support Plo Koon and you. Anakin still remembered Mace Windu's explanation word by word when he explained the urgency of your situation to his master Obi-Wan. And how those words filled his little heart with fear.

"You must reach the weapons factory as soon as possible, Master Kenobi." Mace Windu said in a stern tone. "Or it might be too late to save them."

Even if these words had not been spoken, the more serious expression than ever on Mace Windu's face would have been more than enough for even the most primitive creature in the galaxy to understand the situation.

As the spaceship they were on made a sudden return to your planet by order of his master, Anakin was wondering why he was so worried about a girl he had only talked to a few times. While he could keep his cool even during missions where his own life was threatened, why did the idea of you in pain make his heart beat faster and his head spin? He was trying to breathe to calm down, but even his breathing was so irregular that Obi Wan felt the need to turn to him and reassure him that everything was okay. How could Anakin explain to his master that he was afraid for you, not himself? Would he understand if he told him?

While the young padawan was in these thoughts, the ship entered the atmosphere with a sudden jolt and landed near the factory. As the deafening noise of explosions and droid weapons filled his ears, he got off the ship and started running without waiting for his master's command. He could hear Obi-Wan calling to him to stop, but he didn't have the time or patience to wait. This was not a scene they were unfamiliar with anyway. When all this nonsense was over, he would happily hear Obi Wan's scolding and humbly accept his punishment, but right now wasn't the right time to think about that. The only thing that mattered at that moment was saving you, and he was going to do it no matter what it took. Because it was his heart, not his brain, that told him to do this, and Anakin was not mature enough to resist his heart. With a swift move, he pulled out his lightsaber and sliced the first droid he encountered in half.

When he heard the sound of your footsteps mixing with the sounds of the battle droids, he realized how close he was to them, but he didn't even slow down for fear of being late for you. He was destroying all the war machines in front of him, clearing the way and moving towards the direction where he sensed your presence.

When he and his master, who finally managed to catch up with him, arrived at the production facility where you were fighting the droids, he started looking around for you, without even bothering to check how Plo Koon was doing. Plo Koon was one of the most powerful Jedi, someone like him could survive without the help of a padawan, but not you. He could feel with all his being that you needed help, but no matter how much he looked around, he couldn't see you.

While Anakin was looking around the burning production facility to find you, he saw two silhouettes in the smoke. One of these silhouettes, the one leaning on the ground and cowering against a wall, belonged to a young girl. The other was the silhouette of an armed droid, as tall as a human but as skinny as a skeleton. Moreover, this droid's gun was pointed at you and was about to be fired. Anakin knew his feelings were not wrong. You were in a difficult situation and needed his help.

He was sure that he wanted to run towards you, save you by smashing that droid into thousands of pieces, and then kick its ugly metal head and throw it to the farthest corner of the galaxy. But he knew he didn't have time for that. So he did something even he didn't expect and threw his lightsaber towards you, hoping you could catch it in time. He knew that this move was madness. What kind of maniac would give up the only weapon he had among thousands of battle droids and leave himself defenseless? Especially if he doesn't know the other person well?

But Anakin had never regretted what he had done, not even for a moment. He saw you pull the thrown lightsaber with force and catch it, then slice the droid in half before he could fire to you. Yes, you were safe, but that safety was only for a brief moment. He had no time to relax, otherwise he knew you would be open to attacks from other droids. Without wasting any time, he followed the green lightsaber shining among the smoke and reached him. You were finally in front of him.

To be honest, your situation wasn't looking so bright. You were seriously injured and your body was covered in blood. Anakin had knelt down next to you and gently held your face between his fingers, afraid of hurting you even more. He could feel the warm drops of blood running down your face, flowing from his fingers to his wrists, but he didn't care about anything other than your safety at that moment. "Are you okay?" he asked, trying to hide how worried he was. Just by looking into your eyes, he could see how much the conflict you were experiencing had worn you out, but you put on a brave and determined expression and nodded, trying not to let the pain you were feeling reflected in your voice, "I'm fine." you muttered. "I'm fine, but I think my legs are stuck and I can't move them."

"Don't be afraid, I'll find a way to get you out of here."

He could see a shattering mass of metal pinning your legs. He took the lightsaber from your hand, carefully opened it, and held it up to the metal plate. "I'll try not to cut off your legs," he said, trying to smile to calm you down, and then added. "At least one of them."

You must have liked Anakin's little joke, too, because your lips turned slightly to the side despite your helpless situation. "Don't worry." you said, laughing. "They will break off on their own anyway, even if you don't cut them."

After receiving a sarcastic approval from you, he began to cut and separate the metal pieces with great patience. He made every move carefully and attentively, afraid of hurting you. When your legs were finally free, he took a deep breath and looked at your face again.

"It's not safe here. We have to get out of here."

"But my master is still fighting." Even though you tried to object, Anakin did not accept it. "He can take care of himself, and the support sent by the council is on the way."

His tone and expression were so determined that you gave up and surrendered to Anakin. You didn't have the strength to resist even if you wanted to. He wrapped his arms tightly around your body, stood up and started walking towards the factory exit. To be honest, you were a little heavier than you looked, and your blood was staining his clothes, but as long as you could rest your head on his chest and he could feel the warmth of your body, nothing else mattered.

Your next meeting was in the infirmary at the Jedi temple. 3 days had passed after your unfortunate duty at the factory and you had just regained your consciousness. During this time, Anakin began to help Jocasta Nu in the archives, upon his master's orders. It could not be said that he was very happy with his situation, but he still considered himself lucky that the punishment for his disobedience during duty was so small. Besides, even though organizing the archives was a tedious task, it kept his mind busy, and he definitely needed it.

Every moment he wasn't busy with something, he was thinking about you and what happened at the factory that day and trying to make sense of what he was feeling. That strange feeling that he thought he had forgotten years ago was back. Why did his heart beat faster and his face turn red every time he thought of you? Were these normal? His master had told him that a Jedi should not become attached to anything, but he should also be compassionate. Anakin could not understand this contrast. He was also afraid of being attached to you. But this was very illogical. Could one person become so attached to another person in such a short time? All these questions confused little Anakin more than ever. Finally, he realized that he could not bear these questions any longer and decided to visit you in the infirmary at the end of the 3rd day. Besides, he also had something that belonged to you, and he had to return it to you as soon as possible.

When he came to you, he saw that you were much more cheerful than he expected. You still looked very weak and you were obviously going to be in the infirmary for a while longer. Still, without letting this demoralize you, you were patiently waiting for your recovery, and in the meantime, you were trying to pass the time by reading the war history texts you took from the archive.

Still, you smiled so widely when you saw Anakin that he was convinced you were glad to see him, too. Trying to suppress the uncomfortable feeling he felt in his stomach, he put on a confident expression and quickly walked over and sat on your bed.

"You look better." he said with the light of hope appearing in his eyes.

You smiled warmly at him. "Thank you, Anakin." you said. "I feel better too."

After a brief hesitation, he pulled a lightsaber from under his cloak and handed it to you, "I think this is yours." he said. "I found it at the factory."

Just seeing the familiar blue color of the lightsaber brought peace to your soul. You happily took the saber from Anakin's hand and began to examine it. "God, thank you so much Anakin. I thought I had lost it."

"My master always tells me that the lightsaber is a Jedi's life and they must protect it at all costs."

Even though you lost your lightsaber for reasons beyond your control, what Anakin said made you a little embarrassed. "Of course, I'm not trying to justify my irresponsibility, but what happened that day was unexpected. I must have dropped it during that chaos."

"To be honest, I've lost my lightsaber too many times."

The confession of the padawan in front of you made you smile a little. Actually, what you should have done was to politely thank Anakin for saving your life, and when the time comes, pay him back at all costs. However, owing your life to him placed such a heavy burden on your shoulders that you felt crushed under this weight, no matter how humble the attitude of the boy in front of you. Before you even thought, the words were coming out of your mouth. "Master Kenobi says that our lightsaber is our life, right? So, according to the master's logic, you entrusted your life to me in the factory, and you also saved mine by finding my lightsaber."

Anakin looked at you in surprise, not knowing what to say at your words. Yes, your reasoning based on his master's words was correct, however, he did not expect you to approach the subject from this perspective. Fortunately, you continued talking without a long pause, and he was spared the trouble of finding an answer to give you.

"I am grateful to you for saving my life, Anakin, and I swear that one day I will repay you. Please give me your lightsaber until that day, and you can take mine."

"So you want us to surrender our lives to each other?" Anakin asked with mixed emotions. Wouldn't this agreement create a commitment between you? Anakin could not comprehend the depth of this devotion.

You nodded decisively in response. "Yes. So we can remember this promise between us for the rest of our lives. These sabers we exchanged will be a symbol of our friendship and trust in each other, and one day I will repay my debt to you. Until then, I want to remember the promise I made to you every time I look at your saber."

Then you added timidly, "If you want too, of course."

Anakin thought for a few seconds, then without a word, he handed you his lightsaber and accepted this pact that would bind your hearts and bodies together forever. Thus, a very special bond was formed between you that will never be broken again. Who knew that this innocent bond established between two children would one day bring disaster to the galaxy...

#x reader #hayden christensen #star wars #anakin x reader #anakin skywalker #anakin skywalker x reader #darth vader #darth vader x reader #plo koon #obi wan kenobi #hayden christensen x reader #star wars x reader #fanfic #x you #anakin x you #angst #anakin skywalker angst #darth vader angst

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bartxnhood · 8 months ago

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i’m still your boy | a.s.w

anakin skywalker x fem!pregnant!reader

summary: after obi-wan tells you of your lovers betrayal, anakin seeks your forgiveness.

warnings: lots of crying, no happy ending, overall angst

w/c: 1.2k

a/n: hi guys ! i decided to test the waters with this fic. i know it’s short but i just wanted to see if i anyone would be interested in me writing for star wars. let me know! also, ive been working hard on the san francisco book, go check it out if you haven’t !

requests open

not proofread

✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵

you stand overlooking the city but you can’t make out anything from the tears blurring your vision. your hand gently caresses your stomach, unable to fathom what obi-wan had just told you.

killing younglings? turning to the dark side? no. it’s impossible. how could your anakin, the chosen one, the one you had given everything up for? he couldn’t possibly do that to you.

you heart began swelling with an unfathomable amount of pain, your robes felt suffocating, and the room felt as if it was closing in on you. Suffocating your senses and making it difficult to breathe.

your heart races and your palms begin to feel sweaty, a sense of mounting anxiety washing over you as the words of obi-wan repeat in your mind.

the once cozy and familiar space now feels claustrophobic and oppressive, mirroring the turmoil within your mind and heart.

your hand clenches your chest, continuing to stare out the window as you hear footsteps approaching.

knowing it was anakin you didn’t look back to face him, you couldn’t possibly.

instead, you stood there, making out his stature in the reflection of the window.

“obi-wan has told me…horrible things..”

there’s a silence that feels the room, the tension growing by the millisecond. anakin looks at you through his eyebrows at the mention of his master, or; previous master.

though, anakin still looks at you with so much love and affection. a love so forbidden but anakin doesn’t care. he’s so full of love for you he’d do anything for you, including joining the dark side to protect you and the child.

he devoted his life to you and the force, but the premonitions, the nightmares, it was all too much for the mighty jedi.

anakin knows what he did, but you didn’t have to.

“do you believe him?”

you turn on your heels finally deciding to face him. he had an unreadable expression on his face as his eyes examined you. eyes taking in your beauty before trailing down to your swollen stomach. his heart does backflips at the thought of having a child, but he knows it would do no good if your life was in constant danger.

anakin needed to protect you. at all costs.

“i don’t know what to believe..” you mutter, eyes wavering with worry. cautiously, you take a few steps towards him. “did you?” you ask.

“i have to protect you.”

you shut your eyes as he confirmed your worries. your hand guides your body to the sofa, unable to stand much longer. the pain in your chest growing by the second. you can’t bring yourself to face him, not when he’s looking at you that.

“my love..” he coos, falling to his knees in front of you. his gruff hands feeling the soft touch of your silk gown. “please…this is all for you..” he whimpers, the tears staining his cheeks, he has so much love for you it’s turned him into something unrecognizable. evil. dark.

“to protect you,” he repeated. he needed you to know that he would walk through fire for you.

anakin couldn’t stand the thought of something happening to you. the visions, the premonitions he was having. every night it felt so real, he was losing you every time he closed his eyes. every day he could feel you slipping away.

“no..” you mutter, your bottom lip begins to quiver at the sound of his voice. you shut your eyes tight, turning your head to face him, letting out an exasperated sigh.

“ani..if this is about your visions..” you begin looking into his eyes. the anakin you knew wasn’t there. this was someone else. “they’re not real..i’m right here..” she frowns, taking his face in her hands and wiping away the tears staining his cheeks with her thumb.

“i’m real, ani. i’m right in front of you.” you beg him. your eyes searching in his beautiful blue eyes only to notice they were the same eyes you fell in love with.

anakin doesn’t budge, he shakes his head. “n-no..i have to do this, i have to protect you..” his hands find yours on his face, his thumb caressing your knuckles. “i have to protect our little one” his hand moves down the sides of your body and rests on either side of your stomach. “i can’t..i won’t lose you, y/n.”

the heat from his hands radiate through your silk gown, almost a burning sensation on your stomach, protecting your child from whomever anakin has become.

you shift away from his touch, protecting your unborn child from his touch. “no..” your bottom lip quivers, a stray tear escaping your eye. your hands wrap around his wrists removing them from your stomach.

anakin panics, he’s becoming frantic. he’d do anything for you to follow him, to be with him. he needs you. “y/n, we could have everything we’d possibly want. we could rule the galaxy together.”

your brows furrow as you look into his eyes. “ani…i have everything i could possibly want. i have you, our little one, i don’t want to rule the galaxy.” you tell him, hoping he’d come to his senses.

“we could leave this place, go to the lake. no one would know..we could be at peace” you plea with him, staring into his eyes searching for anything. anything at all that would tell you he’d let go and leave with you. anakin doesn’t budge. he takes your hands in his again, hoping you’d see his reasoning. “you’re going down a path i can’t follow.” you whimper. your eyebrows knit together as you squeeze his hands. “you’re not the man i married, ani.” you sniffle.

anakins eyes flicker between yours, his brows furrows and his lips part. “he turned you against me..”

his voice was low but held so much anger and resentment to his master. holding anakin back, subsiding his powers, his voice. anakin would never become anything.

at least that’s what he thought.

anger fuels his emotions, he stands up from the floor and removes his hands from your grasp. his hands ball into fists by his side, taking in a deep breath and holding it in. his face twists, looking down on you.

you didn’t recognize him. this wasn’t the same man you awoke to this morning. this man was consumed by his anger, aggression, and fear.

anakin eyes you, “no. i won’t have this.” he says and turns away from you towards the exit, his hand hovering over his lightsaber.

every step be took was fueled by a fierce sense of determination, tinged with an undercurrent of aggression. mixed with a cold, burning hatred that seemed to radiate from his very being. as he walked away, her every movement was a testament to a man on the brink, with a fire burning in his soul that threatened to consume anyone who stood in her path.

“anakin!” you yell as your stand from the sofa, wanting him to stop and come to his senses but he doesn’t. instead, he flips the hood of his robes over his head and you watch his silhouette disappear.

you felt your stomach turn, thinking of the unimaginable. the stress of the situation was taking a toll on your body, and you felt a sharp pain in your stomach.

your hands instinctively went to your belly, a protective gesture as you tried to catch your breath.

your anakin, the chosen one, the one you loved with all your being was gone. the dark side had taken him from you and the child.

a broken sob escapes your throat as you fall back onto the sofa. you cover your mouth as you cry, unable to contain the sadness.

#bartxnhood writes #bartxnhood asks #anakin skywalker #star wars anakin #anakin x reader #anakin smut #anakin x you #anakin fanfiction #anakin skywalker x reader #anakin skywalker x you #anakin skywalker x female reader #star wars fanfic #star wars #anakin imagine #anakin fluff #anakin angst

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heartofmortis · 8 months ago

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✧ exile (what a ghostly scene)

. *. ⋆ Anakin / Vader x Reader

summary: you were bail organa’s ward, raised on alderaan with your younger sister. in the twilight of the clone war, you and anakin fell in love. when the war died, it dragged you and anakin to early graves with it — leaving only darth vader behind. even after years without you, he still wants you back. and there is nothing he would not do to bring you back to him. . .

tags: angst, tragic romance, suitless vader, no y/n, gn reader, inspired by the 2020 vader comics & vader immortal, past major character death, mourning, vader needs a hug, resurrection

note: my first reader/second person fic — i’m sorry if the tense is bad ajsjwjwjqjq. i’ve had this in my drafts for soooo long and i finally decided to finish it 🫶

word count: 1k

part 1 of 4

The stars have died, fizzling out into oblivion. All that remains is a charcoal heart that once belonged to Anakin Skywalker.

The boy from Tatooine is unreachable now, trapped inside the twisted soul of Darth Vader. The galaxy’s beloved Hero With No Fear is gone. With the rise of the Empire, the Jedi and their sympathisers will be erased from memory. A clean slate to start a new era.

Three years after the creation of the Empire, Darth Vader stands alone. His tower on Mustafar is isolating; its strategic position is a constant reminder of that day. His injuries still hurt sometimes: phantom itches on his now metal legs; scars from his burns that did not fully heal. The medical droids say he is lucky — the fire could have done more serious damage, and he could have been forced to rely on a suit keeping him alive for the rest of his days. Instead, the ebony coloured mask and suit he wears are to conceal his identity. A precaution so that Anakin Skywalker can fade from people’s tongues and memory, leaving the tyranny of Darth Vader in its place.

The weight of his failures is not the heaviest burden. Darth Vader drowns in his anger and grief. He was not strong enough to kill Obi-Wan Kenobi. He was not strong enough to save you.

(All things die. Even stars burn out.)

You were the stars in his sky, his light in the dark, the silvery moon to his blazing sun. So tender and kind. Perhaps your heart was too good for this world. Perhaps, it was your weakness all along. (How could peace ever love a dragon?)

Since you met, you had been Anakin’s sun. You anchored him; guided him home. You were his destiny. And, without you, the galaxy had turned cold. The fiery world outside, all hot air and lava fields, only stood as a reminder of his failure. He’d lost you. After everything Anakin had tried — surrendering himself to the dark side, betraying the light — he could not save you. Time had not quelled the pain.

Vader wonders if you would still recognise him. His copper hair has grown longer (he remembers how you used to cut it for him after he returned from another mission, and you’d giggle as you braided thin locks together), but his face hides behind an obsidian mask. You always loved the blue of Anakin’s eyes, but now they are blazing amber.

Mornings are the only time Vader allows himself to dwell on the past. It is when he finds himself alone and does not have to hide.

Vader recalls how you arrived on Mustafar like it was yesterday. (You haunt him every waking moment.) He could sense your conflicted emotions as soon as you disembarked your ship. Vader wasted no time approaching you, drawing you into his arms (where you belonged; where you were safe). His lips reconnected with yours, fitting together like puzzle pieces as he kissed you hungrily, his hands settled on your hips to keep you close.

You and Anakin had met after turning nineteen. He and Obi-Wan were called to Alderaan to protect the Queen and Viceroy from an assassination attempt. Being their ward, you had been there the whole time and quickly formed a connection with the young padawan — your relationship had blossomed during the Clone Wars.

He rested his forehead against yours as you spoke. “I heard terrible things. Tell me none of it is true.”

Vader hadn’t replied immediately and instead drew his head back to look at you. He would tell you any sweet lie if he needed to as he fought to quell the anger flaring in his eyes. “What have you been told?”

“Obi-Wan told me—”

Vader’s grasp around you tightened protectively. “Obi-Wan is alive?”

“He said you’d killed Jedi. Killed younglings.”

“You must not believe him, my love. He’s a traitor.”

It wasn’t the answer you sought, and you took a step backwards out of your husband’s grasp. “What have you done?”

“I did this for you. To save you.” He cupped your chin in his flesh hand and whispered your name. “I love you.”

Your eyes trained into his. There was no denial, no remorse in his stature; his only regret was letting Obi-Wan tell you anything.

He repeated his words. “I did this for you.”

From the shadows of your cloak, you drew a blaster. Only a small, weak thing. Vader watched your hands tremble. He did admire your courage. “Fix this,” you demanded. “Please,” you begged.

Anger flickered in Vader’s eyes. He had never seen you unimpressed with him. With an easy glide of his hand, Vader used the Force to knock the blaster out of your grip and pin your arms by your sides

“I am stronger than the Chancellor now,” he explained desperately, drawing you to his side. “I can overthrow him. Then you and I can be together; we can run away — just like you always wanted to.”

(But you didn’t. He lost you. Some might call you a traitor — Vader maintains that you were misguided.)

Three years later, regret still festers inside Vader’s hollow soul. There must have been a way to save you.

He misses you endlessly: craving your touch and the sound of your voice. (There is nothing Vader desires more than to have you back in his arms.)

Part of him wants to forget. To cast his memories of you into an abyss; to put the past behind him. But it is an impossible task. You are too well tangled into his soul. You haunt him. (And you’ll haunt him until his death.)

Today, there is no time to focus on you. A new morning brings meetings and training. You were Anakin’s Achilles Heel — but Darth Vader shows no such weakness. As Vader sits on his throne, reading over mission logs and other updates from the spread of the Empire across the galaxy, he receives a message: he must make his return to Coruscant immediately. (Your memory pulls him under the ocean again until he can no longer breathe.)

#anakin skywalker #anakin skywalker x reader #anakin x reader #star wars #star wars fanfiction #anakin skywalker fanfiction #anakin angst #anakin skywalker angst #anakin skywalker x you #darth vader #darth vader x reader #darth vader angst #darth vader fanfiction

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athenaluthor · 13 days ago

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For you? Always.

pairing: Anakin Skywalker x reader

summary: months after being away at war, general skywalker returns to his girl. they can’t keep their hands to themselves

warnings: 18+ MDNI, unedited, longing, princess!reader, smut, fluff, creamp!e and size k!nk, reader is fem and has long hair.

masterlist

banners by @cafekitsune

The ship's hum drifts you away from the chaos outside. Unexpectedly, none of the noise seems to reach you here and for a moment, the galaxy outside seems to have disappeared. A temporary, lulling reprieve for the aches that have found a home in your bones since the start of the war.

A part of you wishes for no one to bother you ever again, to simply live in peace. It is possible, you suppose. To leave it all and return home to the comfort of your home. The guilt however, would surely eat you alive.

Deny as you might, it drives you insane. It somehow pushes all the buttons and pulls all the strings, all at once. The endless chatter of arguments and unyielding animosity is a stark difference than what you'd imagine life at the Senate would be.

Staring up at the ceiling your mind wanders, to home, to your parents and eventually to him.

Much to your dismay, you haven't had the chance to return back home. Each trip scheduled for your home planet as of late is always cancelled at the last minute, thwarted by the next issue at the Senate. The past few rotations are quiet too,barely any news came from the frontlines, even to the Senate.

As of now, your comlink also remains void of any updates from him, a rare occurrence for the both of you. Holding on to the small tendrils of hope, you tell yourself that no news is good news, and the force is indeed with him each step.

Princess?” A familiar voice snaps you out of your spiral.

“We've landed. Shall we make a move for your apartments?” asks Edwina.

Edwina. Oh, she's truly godsend. She and alongside the rest of your handmaidens are your tether to reality amongst this chaos.

They all fuss at how tense and anxious you are, blaming it on how overworked the Senate makes you.

Although you're certain Edwina knows about you and him, she mentions no word of it to the rest of them. She says no word of how each time the comlink beeps, you peer over to check it. She says no word at how your face and form falters when it's not him, yet beams when it is.

Gods, what you would give to hear his voice right now.

Edwina moves to help you, ensuring you slip on your shoes correctly, smoothing out your clothes and hair, making you somewhat presentable as the other handmaidens work to pack your things around the room.

The lack of answers from you isn't unusual for Edwina or any of them these days.

With the Senate practically disintegrating, calls for your return home have increased tenfold. Your parents have no desire to let their child fight for a losing cause, neither did your people.

Yet, here you are. Running isn't an option. Not when he is fighting on the frontlines, risking his life each time when Jedi are meant to be peacekeepers, not soldiers. Yet, they have surely become synonymous.

Soon though, the war will escalate, that much is certain. If the war reaches Coruscant, you'll have to leave for home, and might never see him again.

Will you ever see him again?

Vinnie’s gaze falls on you as you slip on the pair of gloves she hands to you. “Are you alright, Princess?” her gentle voice prods.

“Hmm? Just exhausted.” you reply, cringing at the sceptical look she shoots you.

To soothe her worries you reassure her, “Nothing a good night's sleep can't fix, Vinnie.”

Truthfully, no amount of sleep could fix this and even Vinnie knows it.

–

Standing in the middle of the living room is a figure whose silhouette you know all too well. All tall and broad shoulders. His robes are clean and freshly pressed, he seems alive and well.

“Princess.” he greets you, voice gentle and laced with desperation and longing.

“Ani….” Without hesitation, you run to him. Anakin wraps his arms around you, pulling you tight to him. Your arms wrap around his waist while you bury your face in chest. He smells clean, like freshly done laundry.

“I missed you, my girl.” he says into your hair. Anakin pulls away slightly, lifting up your chin and trying to get a look at his beloved.

“Princess….what are these tears for, hmm?” asks Anakin, wiping away the tears spilling down your cheek with his thumb.

“I’m alright and I’m here, just like I promised, baby.”

He leans in, forehead against yours as he whispers "Everything's alright, my sweet girl. Everything’s alright.”

No words escape you as you sob. The relief washing through your body has rendered you speechless. The hours and sleepless nights of you pondering upon his safety has hit you all at once.

Your legs give out beneath you and Anakin gently brings the both of you to the floor. He peppers kisses all over your face, brushing away the strands of hair from your face and tucking them behind your ears.

“I’m sorry.” you laugh out through your sobs. “Please tell me you’re alright. Tell me you’re back with the same number of limbs you left with.” you say, desperation and concern seeping through each word.

Anakin laughs softly, his boyish grin melting your heart. “Yes, princess. Still only have one missing hand, the other limbs are still here.”

He unclips the cape around your neck, letting it fall off your shoulders. Anakin takes your gloved hands in his and carefully pulls off your gloves before bringing your hands to his lips. He places gentle, revering kisses all over your knuckles and wrists.

With a boyish grin, he says “Don’t think any war’s gonna take me away from you, princess. I’m always gonna come back, even if I have to crawl. Can’t have you lonely now, can I?”.

Anakin leans in, lips dangerously close to yours. He hesitates for a moment but abandons his reason and pulls you in a searing kiss. His kisses are passionate and desperate, filled with fervor and devotion as his hands cups your face. The kiss has you trying to catch your breath and keep up with him.

“I need you.” he whines once he pulls away, desperate.

“You have me.” you reply, lust lacing each word.

Anakin pulls up and leads you over to the plush settee. He lets you climb into his lap before pulling you into another hot, searing kiss.

Arousal floods your body and you move your hips slightly, trying to get relief on his clothed cock. The movement has him groaning into the kiss, his cock grows impossibly harder than before. You can’t wait any longer, and neither can he.

“Ani…. Please, I need you..” you whimper out.

Anakin somehow manages to free his cock from the confines of his pants. The head glistens with precum, hard and heavy for you. He pushes aside your panties and slides himself slowly inside you, mouth hanging open as he watches himself slip inside.

“I miss this, princess.” He groans out as he thrusts into you.

The stretch burns deliciously, months of not having him inside your pussy made you forget how good his cock was. Kriff, he’s massive. He stretches you out so much, every inch splits you open as he pushes himself deeper inside you.

“Ani… So big..” you whimper

Throwing your head back, you moan. The pleasure and pain sends your body into a fritz. Anakin too nearly cums at how tight you are, it's been too damn long since he had you. Countless nights, he hid away and tried to relieve himself with his hand. Unfortunately for him, his hand pales in comparison to you.

Anakin moves his hips and thrusts up into you, desperate to bury himself deep inside you. His pace is unhurried and sensual. His cock hitting that sweet spot inside you that has you turning into a moaning mess. Grasping the sides of his face, you lean into kiss him as he fucks you.

A particularly deep thrust has you whimpering and clenching down on his cock, earning a groan from his lips. “You’re so damn tight, princess. My pretty girl, I don’t think I can last long, it’s been too long.” He says, voice breathless and laced with lust.

Anakin grunts with each thrust as he fucks you faster and harder. The force has moaning his name over and over. It’s too much, he’s too deep and too big, yet it feels so good.

The coil within you snaps, your body trembles as you lose yourself to the pleasure. Your walls clamp down hard on his cock, pushing him over the edge. He cums, grunting as he shoots his seed deep inside you, covering your walls in his thick and white cum.

By the time he finishes rutting into you, you’re still trembling from the force of your orgasm. Only his cock could make you like this. You’re limp in his arms, pliant as ever as you try to catch your breath.

“Princess, you with me?” He asks gently, rubbing up and down your arms. He earns a simple nod as a response, when you bury your face in his neck.

His cock isn’t softening, you can still feel his hard cock inside you. “I’m not done with you, princess.” He says in your ear, hands moving up and down your clothed body.

Playfully you reply, “Give me a minute, Skywalker. Don’t think I have it in me right now.”

“Well, I’m inside you right now.” He quips back lightheartedly.

“You’re hopeless aren’t you, Skywalker?”

“For you? Always.”

banners by @cafekitsune

#anakin skywalker x reader #darth vader x reader #anakin skywalker #darth vader #hayden christensen #star wars #vader x reader #angst #fluff #smut

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angelseraphines · 17 days ago

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me when the trope is friends who are brothers in every way except blood but the younger one betrays the older one and the older realizes he has to kill the younger for the sake of others knowing it will kill his soul to do so 💔💔

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colmiillo · 6 months ago

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I need an angst that leaves me destroyed and lying in bed for 5 days

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hexxynn · 9 months ago

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you're my forever | best friend! anakin x fem!reader

word count : 10.2k

warnings : MDNI 18+, anakin and reader are 18, angst, angst, so much angst, self deprecation, reader has a mom named lucille, insecure! reader, modern!, jock! anakin, swearing, anakin worshiping the ground you walk on, reader is described as having a tummy!, praise, even more praise, anakin talks you through it, arguing, readers parents are divorced, pet names, virgin! reader, oral (f receiving), piv, no condom mentioned (wrap it before you tap it!), creampie, aftercare (i think that's all?)

summary : you develop feelings for your long time best friend, anakin. you fall into a pit of bedrot trying to cope and push him away, only for him to push back. what you didn't know is that he felt the same way.

a/n : my first fic ever pls be kind lol, this is my first time writing smut too, so any tips would be appreciated! im lit new to tumblr so please don't be afraid to request anything. also im literally a slut for angsty sex and praise can you tell? also this isn't proofread soz

You didn't know when your feelings had turned from platonic, to overwhelmingly romantic.

Honestly? It was scary.

You had known Anakin for a while, him being your neighbor for most of your life. That was, until you moved, but only to downsize after your parents split. The quaint neighborhood, the only thing you had ever known, being torn away from you. Luckily— your parents didn't want to move far, so you stayed put in the same town, just in different neighborhoods.

You were two when you guys met, both of your toddler selves adorned with the aroma of innocence and childhood. Your moms had both bonded, over the struggle of motherhood, while you two seemed to find each other in the purity of your early years. He came up to you, with a simple ask to push him on the swing; an offer you couldn't refuse. Retorting with an, "as long as you push me after," which couldn't help but earn an eager grin from Anakin.

As you two pushed each other, giggles and laughs emerging from the silence of the neighborhood, your mothers had noticed the bond and smiled; knowing their friendship, and the one forming by the swing sets, would go on past this little encounter. They exchanged numbers, beams from ear to ear, knowing they found comfort in each other, and a pal for their children.

❥๑━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━๑❥

As time went along, they set up playdates, leaving you two to watch shows, and do little things only young kids would do, whilst they sat on the back porch of your house with a wine glass in hand. You and Anakin would watch silly things, and you would play with his toy cars; in exchange, he'd play dolls with you (no matter how girly it was, or how frustrated he got in his three year old brain).

The neighborhood gossip would flow from their lips. Inside, the sounds of juvenility and jolly would make themselves present in some of your earliest memories. Your moms has been content with the current exchange. The simple call to come over, no matter whose house, with the almost immediate response from the other, and you and Anakin were dragged into their friendship, building one of your own. It worked out nicely.

As you grew up, playdates turned into school, and he was your best friend in elementary. Bus stop hand holding was the cause of teases from the boys (not the girls, who thought it was 'cool' you were able to get a kindergarten boyfriend), eliciting a shrug of nonchalance from Anakin. He would defend you, and go back to the swing sets with you, returning back to your place of blossoming friendship. He didn't care much for what the six year olds had to say, knowing you already for over half of his life. The bond your mothers had created was stuck, and would be for a while.

Once you got to middle school, there was a shift, though. He found his guy friends, understanding the game that adolescents liked to play with jokes and gossip. While he still walked you to the bus stop, he didn't see you as much in school. Especially with the deferring interests you two had grown. You had become a bookworm, immersed in studies as soon as you entered the next phase of your life, while he became athletic and would stay after school to play soccer with the other boys in the field behind school. Nevertheless, he'd come home and his mom would tell him they're going to your house. With no protest— he'd go. He would never turn down seeing you. Without prying eyes and weird looks, he could be himself and return to the faithful friend he'd had for so long. The simplicity and routine created never felt off, even as the times changed. He would always run back to you.

Until High School started. Things changed yet again, messing with the routine you two had created. He didn't walk you, or drive you to school, but would bring you food, smile at you in the halls, and nod his head in the structured environment of school. It was more than middle school. You two still saw each other as much as possible, but hangouts got a lot different. He got into football, and the schedule was rigorous. Yet, you'd still go to his games, cheer him on, and wait until he got home to personally congratulate him. He never even let flings, or girlfriends throughout the years, change his behavior towards you. It had never been explicitly romantic, but you two were closer than most. He'd hold your hand to drag you to his room, and vice versa. He'd let you drape his legs across him on the couch, or let him spin you around in a hug after his games.

He saw you more than middle school, his maturity hitting him slightly. He valued you, and you valued him, and that was one of the first things he'd ever known. This platonic relationship he held with you, was one of the things he cherished most. He wouldn't let anything get between you two, no matter what was to come in the future. He'd never let you go.

You on the other hand, immersed in studies and prepping for college, had turned a lot of hangouts into study dates. Which was okay with him, as long as you two got to see each other. He'd lounge in your room while you sat at your desk with a textbook and computer. He'd bring you food when your mom called that dinner was ready, knowing your academics had pulled you away from reality. His nurturing nature stayed the same.

You two had both gotten into different colleges, across the state. He got a football scholarship, and you got an academic scholarship at a prestigious college on the west side. You knew what was to come as the summer after senior year approached.

What you didn't know was to come, was your feelings towards him.

You didn't know when your hand holding started making your tummy flutter, or when his hands tracing patterns on your calves had you feeling flustered. Sure, he changed a lot in High School. He got muscular, grew his hair out, had more charm and appeal. He had girls swooning. But you? You never expected to be one of those girls.

Coming to terms with your feelings was definitely a task.

At first, it was jealousy. Jealousy towards the girls who were able to openly fawn over him, with Anakin relishing in the attention they bestowed on him. He loved living in this spotlight, and the rush he got when girls would whisper and giggle sentiments about him. He adored all of the looks and the eye fucks he would get in the halls. It was an ego boost.

You wished so terribly you could be one of those girls. The ones he'd kiss after his games, the ones who went out with him on Friday nights. You just weren't that girl.

Sophomore year came with heated jealousy, and Junior year came with longing. Senior year, you slowly came to terms with it. It wasn't until after graduation, when you relished in all the attention he would give you on summer days, that you fully realized what you were feeling. You had never had a boyfriend throughout all your years, academics taking priority over any man.

The beginning of summer was torture.

He was mindful of his last couple of months with you, giving you his full, undivided attention.

And you fucking loved it.

At the same time though, you hated it. The torment of the sudden affection you received, along with an endless stream of texts and calls when you two couldn't be together. It made your feelings all the more real, and you couldn't do it any longer.

You were then slowly trying to distance yourself, for your own sanity, to protect your feelings and soften the blow of college. You were frustrated, angry, and hurt all at the same time. It wasn't his fault, but your brain blamed him for all of it. You were starting to resent him, and hole up in your room, only coming out for meals and water. It had been this way for about a week now, in the middle of June, and the contrast from this to the way you were two weeks before was startling. Especially to Anakin.

❥๑━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━๑❥

Your mom, Lucille, was standing on her back porch per usual, pacing around her best friend, also known as Anakin's mom. Though she was across town, it wasn't far. A mere ten minute drive at most.

"I just don't know what's gotten into her, you know? One minute she's going out almost every day with Ani, the next she's- she's- god!"

Lucille was very annoyed, to say the least. The state she had found you in was worrying her, and her financial situation with college didn't assist in her anxiety.

"Did something happen between her and Ani?" Lucille pondered, quirking a brow up inquisitively at her friend, sighing. "Not that I know of. In fact, he's been asking about her," Shmi sighed heavily. "She might just be stressed about university, you know?"

"I know... but she normally comes to me about these things, Shmi! And now she's this void," Lucille sat down, wine sloshing in the glass.

Shmi rubbed her back, smiling softly. "Just be patient, Lucy, maybe try to have a heart to heart with her? Sit down with her," Shmi pondered.

"Yeah... yeah, sure. I'll do that," Lucille returned the soft expression Shmi reflected onto her, letting out a huff. "Can you come by tomorrow morning? I'll keep you updated," she asked, while Shmi rubbed her back.

"Of course. I'll head home, love you," Shmi replied, standing up and walking into the cool air of the house, watching the moonlight cast the house in a low glow. The hardwood floors leading to the front door were bleached from the sun, it's constant rays hitting the floor from the many windows in the home.

"Love you, too," Lucille wrapped her friend in a hug, wishing her off. "What to do," she looked at her feet, shutting and locking the door, heading upstairs to talk to you.

She heard soft music coming from your room, probably from the speaker Anakin had gifted you Junior year. She recognized the soft hum of your voice, and Lucille was then unsure if she wanted to disturb your peace. But, she knew it was for the better.

A soft knock resonated in the empty hallway, and she heard your hums stop, followed by your music. Your footsteps could be heard trekking to the door, that once opened, revealed darkness in your face.

Your bags were heavy, face devoid of any feeling as you tilted your head to the side, "Hey, what's up?" You muttered, avoiding eye contact with your mother.

"Can I come in?" Your mom requested, analyzing every feature you once held. It was sad, depressing, and a mess all in one. You straightened your spine, opening your door wider and flicking on the light. With no words, you sat on your bed, the white comforter all messy and tangled in an array of clothes; unfolded laundry you were too tired to do.

Your mother sat next to you, placing a hand on your back. "Is everything okay?"

"Mhm, why do you ask?" You force a smile, nodding your head. Your appearance spoke much differently though, along with the state of your bedroom. Your hair in a messy updo, and your clothes scattered around the carpet. Spandex and an oversized tee adorned your figure, hiding the body you once loved to dress up with random articles of clothing, a uniqueness reflected in your personality onto your style.

This wasn't you.

"You've been in your room for a few days now, what happened to your summer plans? The job you were looking for?" Lucille removed her hand, placing her cheek in her hand.

You again avoided eye contact, looking to your window. "I'm just tired, Mama," you replied in a hushed tone, chewing on your already scabbed lip.

"I know, hon, I know. But we're all worried. Me, Shmi, Anakin-"

At the mention of his name, you dropped your head again. Deep down, you knew it wasn't fair to anyone. But you couldn't help it. You'd rather put up your walls before letting yourself get hurt with a stupid crush. "It's okay, I promise," you again put up a facade.

"Is it me? Did I do something?" Your mother started to tear up, placing a hand on her chest. The last thing she'd ever want to do is hurt you. She had never seen this from you before, though.

You finally made eye contact, shaking your head rigorously. "No, of course not. I just need to sleep," you scrunched your nose, trying not to let the tears fall yourself.

"Okay... but if you need anything I'm here, alright?" Lucille stood up then, making her way out the door, shutting off the light on her way out.

In the absence of another person, you felt yourself rotting in self deprecation all over again. The mention of Anakin just hurt you all the more. You hated doing this, you really did, but crying for hours on end seemed to help, even in the slightest.

So, you sat back in your mess of sheets and blankets, music starting up again, as you scrolled through photos of you and Anakin over the years. Even looking at photos of him with girlfriends, his smile brighter than ever. Kisses on cheeks, arms around them in photos. A reminder of something you could never be to him. A hole was making its way into your heart, one that only he could fill, and you were devoid of any reciprocation to your feelings.

But, back at the Skywalker's residence, Shmi had come home, setting her keys on the rack, and plopping down on the couch with a soft thud. Even she was confused and frustrated, thinking of you as one of her own.

At the sound of the door opening, and footsteps, Anakin came tumbling down the stairs, excited to see his mom after a long day of work, knowing she went to your house immediately after her shift.

She perked up at the noise, laying back and turning on the TV. "Hello, Ani," she yelled to the hallway, as he came walking towards the living room.

"Hey, Mom! How was your day?" He asked, setting himself next to Shmi, leaning back in the cushions. His hair was damp from a shower, clad in a black tee and plaid pants.

"It was good, stopped by Lucille's after work," she muttered, with him letting out a chuckle in response. "Assumed so, it's around ten— you're normally not out this late unless it's Lucille's," he nodded. "Did you see Y/N?" He then asked, turning his head to face Shmi.

"No... I didn't. Have you heard from her at all?" Shmi frowned, watching him shake his head and loll it back on the couch, a sigh escaping his lips. "No, I haven't. I'm worried, you know? Did I do something?" He asked, looking for some sort of answer. Your absence was sudden, and no matter how many times he'd call or text, you wouldn't respond. Your location stayed the same as well, the icon staying on your house, so he knew you weren't busy. He didn't want to intrude though, and push boundaries, but he truly had no idea what was going on with you. And it hurt him.

"I don't think so, she's avoiding Lucy as well," Shmi looked at her son quickly while she channel surfed, finding something to hopefully fall asleep to on the plush tan cushions.

Anakin sighed, standing up. "Tell Lucille I'll be over tomorrow, okay? I'll see if I can figure it out, might be too personal to tell her mom about," Anakin assured Shmi, standing up to make his way up the stairs.

"Okay," Shmi replied simply, feeling sleep overtake her soon enough.

Anakin, though, made his way up the stairs, racing to his phone. He pulled up your contact again, pressing the call button, and listening to the same ringing tone that he's heard for the past week bounce off of the walls of his room.

He sighed when it hit your voicemail, the sound of your once cheery self beginning to speak. He hadn't heard your voice in so long, it ached and left him confused. "Tomorrow," he told himself.

He'd see you tomorrow, no matter what it took.

Tomorrow didn't come soon enough, though, leaving Anakin tossing and turning in his sleep. He was so, so tired, so worried, and so anxious about what would happen. He had no idea if he had done something wrong, his brain relentlessly bullying him with 'what if's'. He kept waking up in cold sweats, eyebrows furrowed with concern for you. He cherished you like a lifeline, and he felt like he was slipping away as you did from him. When morning came, he had bags under his eyes, and his hair was tousled with the constant running of his hands through his hair throughout the night. He didn't know what if it went wrong today, or if you gave no response and shut yourself off.

He didn't even eat, too sick to his stomach to do so, waving a small, "bye," to his mother before slipping into his car, and Shmi had sent a text to Lucille as he left.

Shmi

He's on the way.

Lucy

Alright, she's awake. Ty for sending him over 😘

Shmi

Anytime. Want to come over while they talk, give them a little space?

Lucy

On my way.

And with that, Lucille had left her own home, knocking on your door and letting you know where she was going. You had hummed in response, getting into the shower, preparing to repeat the cycle of bed-rot you had created in the recent days.

The water soothed you, hot streams battering on your back as you sunk into the tiled floor. The speaker still let out hushed instrumentals and lyrics of your playlist, allowing you to wallow in your feelings. Not even washing your hair, or your body, you simply laid there. Tears were scarce at this point, not able to flow down your cheeks, as you looked at yourself in your naked state.

You doubted Anakin could ever, ever, love something like this in the way you loved him.

It was honestly sickening, in your opinion, how you destroyed yourself over him. Promises to him left unkept, and your friendship flowed down the drain, following the stream of the water. The sad, angry music you hummed along to only allowed for your wallowing to fester into an ugly knot in your stomach.

Some Phoebe Bridgers lyric had you leaning on the wall, closing your eyes. Too many years wasted. Too many tears shed over Anakin.

As the song was reaching its peak, you were oblivious to the sleek, black jeep that pulled into your driveway. Your room perched in the back of the house, anyway, so it was hard to hear over the shower and the music, along with your own humming. You were unaware of the unlocking of your front door, which Anakin had a key to, and the sound of his footsteps bustling up the stairs of your home. Which would have been bad, had it been an intruder, but it was just your good ol' Anakin.

As he made his way up the stairs, he heard the music in the shower, and the sound of your voice, the murmurs of lyrics you sang along to. He also heard the familiar pattering of your bathroom, having also showered here one too many times after games. Your bathroom was attached to your room, and he didn't want to disrupt, so he simply opened your door and sat on your bed.

When he walked in though, he was shocked. Your entire safe space was in disarray, a mirror of your emotions. If there was one thing about you, though, it was that you were a tad bit messy, but never this bad. He frowned at the thought, and decided to lay back on your messy bed, pulling out his phone to check the time. You should be out soon right?

But as fifteen minutes passed, he was getting impatient. He strolled up to your door, knocking softly.

"Mom, I thought you were at Shmi's?" Your voice was raspy, and quieter than normal, a pang resonating in his heart.

"It's me," he softly said, hand on the door.

You were struck with shock, sitting up immediately, feeling guilty and overwhelmed suddenly.

"I'm busy, come back later?" You pleaded, hoping to avoid him. But if anything, Anakin was persistent, and when he says he's doing to do something, he'll do it. Your brain had hoped silently that he'd take it, making his way out, so you wouldn't have to face him.

He shook his head, "No. We need to talk, now. Are you almost done?" he inquired, leaning his side on the door now, dragging his fingertips over the ridges of the wooden door. You didn't respond, and he didn't hear any movement, so he continued to press. "I swear to God, Y/N, I'll come in there if I have to."

Fear struck your veins, and you stayed silent, hoping he'd go away. "We can talk later, I'm busy," you simply replied, shaking your head at his perseverance. You always adored that about him, but now was a bad time for him to do so. Now, you wanted him gone. He was no longer your sanctuary, but a cause of fear and pain to you. Knowing him, though, he wouldn't stop.

And you were right.

You heard the handle jiggle a little bit, before a groan was let out behind the door. "There is no need to lock the door in your own home," he sighed, turning back to your room. A bobby pin should work, right?

"It's to prevent people from coming in, y'know, like you're trying to do," you rolled your eyes and scoffed, borders and walls making their way back up. You heard his footsteps walking away from the door, letting out a breath you didn't know you were holding. One obstacle down, right?

But then, you heard the jiggling of the doorknob again, and the click of the lock, and a sense of alarm surged through your veins. "I'm coming in," he announced sternly, before you heard the creak of your bathroom door opening. He had successfully found your bobby pins littered around your vanity, from various updo's you'd style your hair with during school. For a second, he was glad for the mess, which allowed him to find it so easily.

"I'm naked!" You screeched, though the shower curtain covered anything he could possibly see.

He chuckled, scoffing, "I've seen you before," he sarcastically uttered, hands finding purchase on the counter behind him, facing the curtain. The only barrier between you and him in the current moment.

"Yeah, when we were four, asshole," you shot back defensively, groaning at his antics. You still continued to attempt to avoid him, dragging out your shower for as long as possible.

Anakin grabbed the towel off of the seat, reaching into the curtain to shut the water off. "Get out," he demanded, "or I will personally come in there and wrap you in the towel myself," his aggression didn't go unnoticed, knowing now that something was definitely wrong between you and him.

"Fuck, fine," you sneered, standing up and reaching out for your towel, which he handed to you through the curtain. You stood up, wrapping yourself, and peeking through the curtain. Shit, he still looked as beautiful as ever. Even more than the photos you would look at while letting sobs escape your lips. He wore a white ribbed tank top, paired with gray sweatpants, hung low on his hips. He looked like a mess himself, curly hair frayed at his neck, sticking to the skin from the steam.

He raised a brow, looking away in respect for you. "Go get changed, I'll wait here," he muttered, allowing you to be at least respectable before he confronted you. As a result, you zoomed past him, quickly grabbing a pair of drawstring shorts and a hoodie, knowing you wouldn't have to waste time on a bra if you were in something baggier. After slipping into your clothes in your closet, you opened up the bathroom door again, and he followed you forward to the center of your room.

He eyed you up and down, finally taking in your features and your state. Though your hair was dripping wet, he didn't miss the puffy circles around your eyes and the split lip you often had when you worried about something too much. His face softened, ever so slightly, as you sat on the bed in front of him, while he continued to stand in front of your figure.

He broke the silence as soon as you sat, "Y/N..." Anakin muttered, folding his hands across his chest in front of you. You gulped, picking at the strings hanging loose from your shorts, "what's so important that you had to interrupt my shower for?"

"You act like you were doing something important. You've been ignoring everyone for days now," he began, eyeing you up and down as you fidgeted and avoided his eyes. Those damn eyes.

"I was, I was showering. Hygiene is important, Anakin," you retorted, turning your head to the window on your left.

"You know what I mean," he opened up his stance, running a hand through his hair. You hardly ever called him Anakin anymore, just Ani. The fact that you used his first name sent shivers down his spine.

"What do you mean?" You inquired, acting oblivious, hoping he'd leave and let you go back to your previous state. Though, as mentioned, when Anakin was determined to do something, he'd do it.

He took a step closer to you, peering down, "You've been avoiding me for days now. Everyone, for days now," he pouted slightly. "You promised you'd tell me everything, so what's going on? You know I don't judge," he assured you, getting down to face you, sitting cross legged on the carpet of your room.

"It's nothing, I promise," You said the same thing you've told your mother consistently. "It's nothing," you repeated.

"It's not nothing, if it's got you like this," he tried to smile warmly, show you he was there, to bring comfort, to bring peace to your mind. "Yeah, well, it's not something I'd like to share with you."

Now that stung, a pain radiating in his very bones, your words leaving him stunned momentarily. You shared almost everything with him. Everything that ever stressed you, he'd hug you and distract you until you were a laughing and smiling disaster. You had never been so closed off, so defensive.

Unknowingly, unintentionally, he shot back, "I've given you every piece of me to show you how open I am, and you can't do the same back? What happened to you?"

Venom laced his voice, making you finally face him. It made the blow all the more easier, while it also gave you a heartache you couldn't possibly fathom. "Life happened, Anakin. We're no longer silly teenagers living our lives, we're adults. We're growing apart," you let your arms fall to your sides, helpless to the heat and tension growing between you two.

"We're about to go off to college, and I've been spending every waking moment with you. We didn't just drift, something changed. I'm trying my hardest to be here, you know? Support you, give you a hand, and you won't even open up," he shifted uncomfortably, sensing an argument arising, which has never before occurred between the two of you.

"It's nothing you can help, Anakin. It's out of your control, so leave it be, and get out," you persisted.

"Get out? Get out?" He shot straight up, standing up in front of you, inching closer to your balled up figure facing him. "You don't kick me out of a place that is basically my second home," he raised his voice, causing you to stand up to face him at the same time.

Before you could speak though, he continued his banter, "So you admit something is wrong," he pointed to your chest, jabbing your collarbone while he spoke the words, voice booming out in the silence of your bedroom. Your stance was less defensive now, as he slowly broke down the barrier, and he continued, yet again.

"I told you, it's nothing you can help with," you replied with a hushed, raspy voice, not wanting to bicker.

"Just tell me what it is, then? Is it school? Because while I may not be as smart as you, I have damn well studied for hours on end with you. I have given up movie nights, going out with you, for all of that shit. You're perfectly fine. You're set. You've got a scholarship, and you'll be fine!"

He continued to step closer to you, closing the space ever so slowly, as you shrunk under his words. "If it's your daddy, fine! But I watched the divorce, the split happen. I watched as you were torn between your parents, and held your hand through that!"

"So tell me, Y/N, what is different this time around?"

Your throat was dry, not wanting to respond, everything seeming so stupid now. How were you supposed to admit, right to his face, it was him? Anakin, the one who held you, the one who made you laugh, the one making you cry yourself to sleep.

"Is it boy troubles? Because I haven't seen any man swoop down and carry you in his arms, and I would have heard about it from your mom. You haven't told her shit, either. So it's got to be pressing you, huh? Just let it out!"

He continued his verbal attacks on you, his frustrations from everything being let out on you. You wanted to shrink back, run away, but there was nowhere to go. Your gut was churning, bubbling, as a sob almost escaped your throat. "You wouldn't get it!"

"Yeah, I don't fucking get it because you won't tell anyone what's wrong," he immediately responded, again taking another step closer. You swatted the hand that was on your chest away, pushing him back from the close proximity. He stumbled, catching his balance, before turning to the side and letting out a low chuckle. "I see."

He saw the polaroids of you and him, laying on your nightstand, shaking his head, "It's me, huh? What the hell did I do? Just tell me," he almost begged, yelling at the top of his lungs at this point. You glanced back and let tears finally escape your eyes, sniffling from the flow. He noticed, slightly softening, as you began to yell back, finally breaking the dam.

"It is you, idiot! Everything about you. The way you laugh, the way you smile at girls like they're everything to you, bring them home at night to cuddle and hold them. It's the way you style your hair, and the way you saunter with your huge fucking ego!"

Oh, now he was confused. You despised his guts because of the way he was? Always has been?

"And you know- you know, I wish I was one of those girls! But you've never even looked at me that way, Anakin! That's the issue! That you've been so oblivious to the way I've wanted you, turning around and fucking other girls while I wait at home for your text that you're safe! It's all of it, Anakin," you let out a choked sob in the midst of your sentence, looking him directly in the eyes, "You go around and play football and don't even give me a sideways glance in the stands! It's so, so wrong to feel this way about you, someone I'm just supposed to care about. But no, I fucking love you, Anakin, and it hurts, it hurts so much. You sit and flirt with the cheerleaders in the cafeteria, giving them kisses on their temples and wrapping your arm around them, in public! But I will never, ever, be one of those girls to you. I will always be the best friend. I will never get to feel you longing for me, and never get to feel you loving me the same! That's what's wrong!"

You finished, letting out a huff, and realizing what you had done. Anakin stayed silent, processing your words, mouth open in shock. You were so terrified, yet so relieved that you had let everything out all at once. You knew now that you had crossed a line, broken a border down in your relationship with him. It had turned from sweet, innocent bliss, to rage and despair, mixed with love and fury. You knew you could never come back from this, back from the words that flew out of your mouth. You were desperate for him, and you would worship the ground he walked on if it meant you could receive one backwards glance held with the passion he held for the other women. But you knew you'd never get that, and you'd spend all of your life searching for a person to fill the hole he created in your heart, but never quite filling it up fully. It would be like a bandaid, covering it up temporarily, but the wound would still exist. It would still rot underneath your skin.

"You mean it?" Anakin simply said, words quiet, as he took a step towards you again, looking into what felt like your soul.

"Every goddamn word."

As soon as the curse left your lips, he grabbed you so swiftly, so tenderly, colliding his body with yours as his breath fanned across your lips, waiting for you to say no. You froze instinctively, still coming to terms with the fact that his hand was laid on the small of your back, the other placed on the back of your head, inching you closer. Before you knew it, the feeling of his lips encompassed yours, with unspoken feelings reverberating through the action. You immediately kissed back, gripping his shirt with the arms in front of you, pulling him instinctively closer. He pushed your frame impossibly close to his, wrapping his arm tighter around you, clutching onto the hoodie you wore.

His hand had gripped your sopping wet hair, earning a small noise elicited from your mouth into his, leaving his kiss softening in satisfaction. It was filled with need, hunger, and years of built up frustration. He handled you so softly, as if you would break, tears still streaming down your cheeks. A sob wracked your chest again, causing him to pull away.

"How in the world could you think I could never love you?" He questioned, bringing you into a hug. You continued to clutch his chest, squeezing your eyes shut. He gingerly set you down to sit in front of him, while he kneeled between your legs. His hands were placed on your knees, looking up at you, as if you were a goddess bestowed upon him.

"I'm not them. I'm not the cheerleaders, or the dancers, or the athletes you date. Look at me, Ani," you grabbed onto his hands, squeezing. His expression showed guilt, love, and anger. Anger at himself, for ever making you feel like this. For ever making you feel like you were the second option, and that he could never adore you. Because for years, he has.

"Oh, honey, you are so much more than them," he brought a hand up to cup your cheek. "I have loved you for so long, I can't believe you ever felt this way," he mumbled, kissing your knees after he uttered the sentiment. "You are everything to me."

He wiped the tears off of your cheeks with his hand, raising himself on his knees slightly. "I'm so sorry I ever made you feel that way, because you are my first and forever love."

"You mean it?" You mocked him, your normal attitude coming back to life. He grinned like a cheshire cat, watching you beam back in the midst of tears.

"Every goddamn word," he mocked back, grabbing your hands and placing kisses on them, "you could never compare to any other girl. You are worth so much more to me, I promise. You are my sun and my moon, my stars, I revolve around you. I love you, so much," he praised you, placing one of your hands on his cheek.

You began to cry again, tears of happiness this time, knowing it was okay.

"No, no, don't cry baby, please," he kneeled up, know facing you directly. "You're too pretty to cry."

You shook your head in disbelief, looking down at your lap.

He kisses your forehead, softly, bringing you close to him. "I'm so sorry," he profusely apologized. He left kisses down the side of your face, peppering you, before meeting your lips again, where you wrapped your arms around his neck as he hunched over. He never once disconnected your kiss as he hooked his hands under your thighs, pushing you back on the bed and under him. The kiss grew more needy, more desperate, as his hands rubbed your outer thighs, guiding them to wrap around his waist. As you did so, you pulled him down closer to you, your two bodies moving in sync with love, care, and adoration.

You tugged on his hair, making him grunt softly into your mouth, making you giggle slightly. "What was that, hm?" You mumbled into the kiss. You honestly were lost with what you were doing, your first kiss taking place on the playground at recess, and had never gone as far as to continue kissing someone.

"God— you, Y/N," he pulled away, looking at you from above, the locks of hair falling from his head, caressing his jaw. He scanned your face for any hesitance, any doubts, and in finding none, he leaned back down, caressing your arms in the process.

"Wait, Ani," you stopped him before his lips could meet yours, bringing one hand to trace along his jaw. "I've never done anything like this before," you mumbled, partially out of embarrassment and nervousness. He had then begun to pull away fully, out of respect for you, before you trapped his hips in with your calves, pulling him back down.

"We don't have to do anything, I promise, I don't expect anything from you, nothing— I swear," he promised, grinning at you from above. "I want you to feel as comfortable as possible," he told you, realization hitting him that you most likely had never done anything beyond kissing, and he didn't want to pressure you into anything you wouldn't want.

"No, that's not what I mean. Ani, I want to," you told him, the heat growing between your bodies, his sweatpants and your shorts being a soft barrier between what could occur.

"You want to?" He questioned, anticipation almost hurting him in his core. You were willing to give him one of the most treasured, most vulnerable parts of yourself, to him, and he couldn't quite fathom that.

"Yes. Anakin, I've always wanted to do this with you, since I knew I fell in love," you leaned up to kiss his cheek, then you kissed the shell of his ear, whispering, "let me be yours."

With that, he bent down to kiss you again, gentle hands and tender touches. "I'll be careful, and tell me if you want to stop at any point, okay?"

You nodded, bringing him back down to you, yet again, as the kiss grew heated. His tongue swiped along your bottom lip, allowing you to open your mouth, letting his own wrap around yours and explore your mouth. The feeling itself was sensational, and you wished you had confessed sooner. Your hips bucked up to meet his, knowing only clothing separated you two. You reached down to tug on his shirt, enticing him.

He sat up, ripping his shirt off quickly, and you took the time to admire him. While you had seen it many times throughout the years, you couldn't get enough, knowing this was the man who loved you, who adored you, who pledged himself to you. Your hand traced along his abdomen, and up his chest, with slow circles and movements.

He looked down to you and your hoodie for permission, to which you grew embarrassed and shy. He stopped, again, tracing his hand along your hip, "What's wrong?"

"I'm not wearing a bra, Ani," you muttered with embarrassment, and he looked at you inquisitively at the fact. "Honey, do you know—"

You interrupted him, mid laugh, "Yes, I know, I'm just nervous. My body, and uh—"

You were cut off, almost immediately, with a tut from him. "You are the most beautiful person I have ever seen. I promise," he told you, looking at you as if you'd break with a single touch or glance.

You nodded, beginning to lift your shirt up yourself, before he stopped you, kissing you and setting your wrists down. "Let me show you how much I love you," he told you, so sincerely, that you felt your body heat up and tense.

His fingers found the bottom of the garment, beginning to lift it over your head, as you lifted your arms up for him to slip it off of you.

He could have practically cum at the sight.

He was met with your soft skin, only for him to see, and his sweatpants tightened ever so slightly. Your breasts splayed out, tummy revealed, and it was all for him. Would forever only be for Anakin.

He kissed you again as you held him, trailing pecks down your cheek, and to your neck, where he suckled the skin and nibbled. You whimpered quietly, never having even thinking you could let out anything from kisses.

"You're so, so beautiful. Sculpted by the gods themselves, I swear. If I could worship a statue of you at a temple, I could," he whispered into your collarbone, moving his pecks downward. You became inherently flustered at his words, a garbled mess, until his breath was fanning in between your sternum. His palms found your ribs, inching upward to your breasts, thumb teasing over your nipple. The contact jolted you, overly sensitive and becoming needy for him to make love to you.

"So divine, I swear," he spoke over your nipple, before his mouth latched onto it, suckling like it would be the last thing he ever tasted. Yet, at the same time, it was so pure. Merciful whimpers left your garbled throat, hands tugging on the hair at the nape of his neck.

He switched over to the other breast, the other one being caressed with his saliva coating it, hardening at the contact. He let his teeth drag along the peak, almost teasingly, before kissing the bud and moving downwards.

He moved down to your tummy, kissing all over. His tongue licked a stripe from your sternum to your navel, then kissing the skin above your shorts. "No matter how insecure you are, your tummy is perfect," he mumbled into the skin, teeth gently grazing the skin as he sweet talked into your skin, lust filling his eyes as he made eye contact with you from above him.

"Anakin, I need you," you muttered, not able to hold the eye contact as he sat between your legs, where you needed him most. He smirked, nodding as he did so, "I know, baby, just wanna take my sweet time with you," he spoke, so close to your core, where your desire lingered for him. He could practically taste it as well, bending down lower, his teeth biting on the waistband of the fabric, slowly pulling it down. His other hand met the other hip, assisting in his teasingly slow antics. He shimmied the shorts off, looking back to where you laid underneath him. He adored you, to say the least, and the way you're looking at him as him twitching in his pants. Desire and need are painted all over your expression, as he finally looked down to your panties.

He noticed the damp spot on the gray cotton, his mind going crazy. He did this to you. God, he loved it.

He kissed the wet spot, earning a small noise that strangled it's way out your mouth. Those damn noises to him, would be the death of Anakin himself. He then looked up, "Is this okay?" He questioned, wanting to make sure you were alright more than anything.

"Yes, please, Ani," you begged, watching him then tauntingly pull the fabric down your hips. Before looking, he begins to kiss the inside of your thighs, tongue dragging along the plush of the skin. The freckles and moles and scars, everything, he was taking in as he tasted you. It was perfect to him. You are perfect. He wanted to make sure you knew that as well, his attention switching to the other leg, repeating the same tantalizing licks and nips and kisses, sucking gently as he got closer to your center, leaving light hickeys and eliciting noises from you.

He then made eye contact with where you needed him most, a small sigh of his breath leaving a tingling sensation for you. "All of this, for me? You're too good to me," he spoke, before taking his first lick, a stripe from your entrance to your clit, groaning at the taste of you. "Y'taste so heavenly, honey, please," he begged for nothing, knowing he already had you as putty in his hands. You fell limp as he pressed a damp kiss to your clit, using one hand to pull back your folds for him. You were glistening with desire, leaking onto your sheets. He was disappointed he couldn't take the chance to lick it up off of the sheets, your hole twitching and practically clenching at this point.

He began his attacks on you, slow and steady, trying not to overwhelm you. Moans began to fill the room, letting him know he was doing a good job, only using his tongue at this point. "S'good," you spoke out, and he hummed in response, smiling in his head. All he wants is to make you feel good. This is an apology, devotion, and need all in one.

The vibrations sent shivers up your spine, fingers clutching the sheets beside you. His other hand was keeping your legs apart, the incessant twitching making him rut into the end of the bed. This wasn't about him though, this was about you.

His tongue prodded your entrance, scooping up whatever was leaking out, and he swallowed it graciously. "You're doing so well, my love," he praised. You hummed in response, not being able to form coherent words, even though he was the one with his mouth occupied. The hand spreading your folds twisted, allowing for his thumb to start slow, gentle circles around your clit.

"Is this good? Do you feel good, darling?" He asked, looking up to you as you nodded feverishly, in a haze of love and lust all at once. Your brain was clouded with the pleasure of Anakin between your legs, lapping you up like you were his final meal on death row. His thumb circling your nub, and his tongue swirling around your walls, gummy and slick with his saliva and your desire. He loved every second of it, your squirming and your hips rolling on his mouth, suffocating him in the best way possible.

His thumb began to speed up, and your hands found their way to his hair, pulling him closer and gripping on for dear life. And he hasn't even inserted fingers yet.

The heat between your legs grew stronger, as minutes passed of torturous circles and slow licks and prods, before you begged for him more. "Fingers, something, Ani," you managed to make out some words, jello and oozing into his palms and mouth. He chuckled at your eagerness, now using his hand he was using to hold your legs apart to wrap your legs behind his back, heels digging into the muscular blades of his shoulders. A single digit slowly entered you, curling inside, arching your back off of the sheets. His tongue moved up to your clit, suctioning the bud, and gently nibbling as his finger began a new pace. It was steady, almost leisurely, as he inserted a second finger, scissoring at your entrance. You were so, so tight, and it was heavenly to him. "Ani, faster, please," you commanded, and he damn well listened like an obedient dog, picking up the pace and curling inside of you each time, his thick fingers searching for the spot that would make you see stars. One your own fingers could hardly reach.

As he sped up and became more passionate with it, your legs trembled from overwhelming excitement and anticipation. You felt the knot beginning to form, one you had only reached on your own, while always thinking of this. Your moans became more strangled and raspy, his mouth never leaving his assault on your clit, and his fingers squelching from your wetness between your legs. The smell, the taste, everything was undeniably delicious to him. This was his Y/N, the one he pined after for so long, the girl of his dreams.

Your pussy began to ache, an overwhelming sense of your release approaching. With whatever you could make out, you uttered in a strangled mess, "C-cum, Ani, 'M gonna."

He began to get more aggressive with his suckles, and his eyes looked up to your expression as your breasts shook with every breath you took, head lolled back from the craving you had- no, the need you had for him. He felt your walls clench around him as your release was coming, his eyes never leaving you. "Good girl, I wanna see that pretty face look at me while you cum," he quickly reattached his mouth to you, the words themselves making your orgasm hit you like a trainwreck. Your eyes never left his, though they rolled into the back of your head momentarily. He felt the flutter, and the clenching of your legs around his head as you finished, his mouth licking up the last of you as he finally pulled away. "You did so well, baby. We can stop here if you want," he assured you, licking his fingers clean as he leaned up to cup your face and kiss your neck.

"I want to feel you inside of me," your lips were flush and swollen from the kissing and biting you had done, and your checks were splotched with redness as he nodded. "Fuck, you're so perfect," he guaranteed your utmost comfortability and contentment. "If you're sure."

He began to pull down his boxers and sweats in a swift motion with one hand, the other propping him up so he could kiss your cheeks sweetly and with care. "You're doing amazing."

You grinned and kissed him, tasting yourself on his lips eagerly. Sweat beaded your foreheads, but the mess created never stopped either of you from continuing. He kissed your forehead, then both of your cheeks, before dragging his lips down to the corner of your mouth. He pulled away momentarily, hands reaching down to stretch you with his fingers. You glanced down to below his navel, and holy shit, was he big.

"It'll fit?" You questioned, your naïveté getting the best of you in the moment.

He chuckled, grinning and looking down at you waiting for him. He took a mental picture, analyzing every possible detail of your bare skin, and the way you looked right now. He was infatuated with you before, but this sight under him, left precum leaking from his tip. His fantasies could have never compared to this sight of him between your legs. "Yes, it will. It'll hurt at first, okay? And tell me to slow down or stop at any point, promise?"

You nodded your head eagerly, "I promise," so grateful for the way he was praising and taking care of your needs over his.

He kissed you again, dragging his tip along your folds. The red and swollen cock in front of you had you nearly drooling, but you decided to save that for another point in time.

"Are you ready?" He asked tenderly, kissing along your neck, tapping your clit with the head of his cock. "Yes, please," you chanted over and over again, like a prayer on your lips.

He let out a quiet hum, slowly pressing his tip into your folds. It slowly slipped past your entrance, earning a hiss from between your teeth.

"Are you okay?" Anakin immediately asked, though not pulling out, so he could look you in the eye, his gaze wavering slightly.

"Mhm, just hurts," you felt tears prick the corner of your eyes, and Anakin knows you've never been someone with a high pain tolerance. "Shh, it's okay, I've got you," he comforted you, pressing a small kiss to your lips, waiting for you to nod to continue. It didn't matter that even your entrance was gripping him like a fucking vice, he wanted you to feel as safe and pleasured as possible.

You made eye contact with him, nodding slowly, as he pushed in a little more, your hands finding his biceps, caged around your head, nails digging into his skin and leaving welts. It hurts, but you expected it. And there was nobody else in all the universe you would rather give your virginity to, just Anakin himself.

"You're doing such a great job, taking me so well," he smiled, hoping his voice would bring you a sense of oasis in the middle of his cock piercing through your insides. "Think you can take a little more?"

You nodded, as one hand reached down to press on your thigh, as he felt your pussy clench him so tightly, knowing you were his. Made for him. "Relax, it'll help it hurt less baby, I promise," he told you, rubbing sweet circles on your leg.

He felt your body loosen up, and he was able to bottom out into you, and his tip kissed your walls, a whimper of pain and pleasure entering his mouth from the kiss he gave you. "Good girl," he whispered into your mouth, making sure he was to never break eye contact in this moment. It was so pure, so sinful, and such a precious moment. He was lingering inside of you, movements stilled, no matter how badly he wanted to pound into you until you were crying into the sheets. You bucked your hips up, enticing him to move, and he got the memo.

It wasn't full throttled thrusts, but slow and lazy pumps in and out of you, waiting for the pain to subside. He felt so amazing inside of you, with your warmth and wetness connecting you both. The closest he could ever get to you, and he never thought he would be here. He was savoring every clench, every thrust, and every moment like it would be his last. Because it was you, and he loved you so dearly, he wanted this to be perfect for you.

Your back arched, your pussy twitched around him, all the while he was still slowly going in and out. It was celestial, the way you moaned and let out slurred words of his name, eyes half lidded and already looking fucked out, a devious and wanton expression he'd commit to memory. "Ani," you made out, grabbing the hand on your leg and placing it on your core. He understood, starting to rub spirals under the red and swollen hood of your clit, picking up his pace. Then, the pain has completely subsided, turning into seraphic pleasure, his eyebrows creating a wrinkle as they furrowed. His own pants and grunts left his lips, chest heaving from the bliss he was subdued in. He was immersed in you completely, mentally and physically. You looked so angelic, even godly, as your bodies connected in the most unholy way possible.

He had waited too long for this.

Your warm and inviting, virgin pussy, saved all for him. And now you were underneath him, his cock filling every inch of you, and each time he bottomed out his tip would meet your cervix, but not hard enough to hurt you. He treasured you, wanting the moment to last as long as possible.

"Faster, Ani, I'm okay," you rested your hand on his head, pushing his hair out of his eyes, as he tried so hard to contain himself so you could feel loved for every second of it. He got off on you feeling so cherished under him, and you had never felt more adoration than in the present.

He listened though, picking him his pace, hips snapping so scrumptiously against you. You could hardly moan anymore, and you broke the eye contact, head rolling back and hitting your pillows from the amount of satisfaction you gained. He took the opportunity to look down at where your bodies met, watching his length slide in and out of you, coated in the sticky sweetness of your serene need for him. His eyes glanced over your body, watching as your tits bounced with every jolt of his body, and he almost creamed at the very sight. He was going to wait though, until you came, to ever think of cumming.

"S'well, baby, you feel so good wrapped around me. You're so beautiful, God. I could do this for hours," he praised you, feeling your pussy clench around him at the simple, yet overwhelming words. The way the plush of your thighs jiggled with every little movement, and the way your tummy followed with. He was encompassed in serenity for every second of it.

"M'gonna cum," you mustered out, warning him of your second release, building quicker than the prior one. "Go ahead, my love, whenever you feel like it," he said between pants and grunts, thumb still circling around your clit as he felt you get all the more tighter.

He sped up his pace, shifting his body to the right, the angle directly hitting that spongey spot inside of you that had you seeing stars. Your hands began to dig into his shoulders, the knot tightening. He could tell, watching as your thighs clenched and you let out the most wanton cry of his name, cumming around his cock.

The feeling and satisfaction of you finishing left him close to his own release, pulling your head down to look at him. "'S it okay if- fuck- I cum?"

"Cum in me, Ani, fill me up," you assured him, still whimpering from overstimulation and groaning at the feeling of him fucking your cum back into you.

His breaths were shakier, turning into soft whimpers and groans as you felt his thrusts grow messy, and soon still, feeling a gush of warmth inside of you, filling you to the brim. He stayed there for a moment, sighing as his cock softened, not wanting to pull out and disconnect from you in the most intimate way possible. He knew he had to though, as he pulled out slowly, leaving you feeling empty and lost.

You let out a breath of air, leaning up to kiss him. He happily obliged, rubbing sweet patterns along your hips, tracing the dips and curves with his index finger, soothing you after your release.

He leaned up quickly, making you feel cold, empty, and lost. Was he already leaving?

But no, he came back with a warm washcloth, leaning between your legs again. He came face to face with your cum and his load leaking out of you, beginning to drag wet and sloppy kisses on your knees as he ever so gently wiped up what was leaking out of you, and the mess and sweat off of your thighs. The residue piled along the fabric, which he then wiped his soft cock with, running back to your bathroom to throw it in the hamper. He crawled back into bed with you as you turned over on your side, the room smelling of sex and love.

"I'm so proud of you, you did so well," he told you, wrapping an arm around you and bringing you close to him, so you could lay your head on his chest. His palm rubbed along the small of your back, tracing up your spine.

"Thank you, I don't think I could have asked for someone better to do it with," you smiled, an after sex glow making you all the more beautiful to him.

"Does this mean you're my boyfriend now?" You asked, and a dumbfounded expression was plastered on Anakin's face, causing you to worry momentarily.

"I would assume so, but only if you'll have me," he spoke into your hair, bare and naked bodies intertwined under the cold sheets. "Of course I'll have you," you comforted him, hands tracing the curve of his biceps. "You're my forever, Anakin."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

#anakin skywalker x reader #hayden christensen x reader #modern!anakin #anakin skywalker #anakin skywalker x female reader #best friend!anakin skywalker #anakin skywalker smut #anakin skywalker angst #star wars #hayden christensen smut

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reverie-verse · 15 days ago

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Anakin Skywalker x Reader: Forbidden Attachments PT 1..

Prompt: A time between the Clone Wars on the verge of beginning and then end of Padawan ages. Y/N is in love with Anakin, but his heart seems to belong to someone else. Senator Padme. One thing a Jedi cannot do, is the one thing that sets her free…Her life takes a turn resulting in her starting over, finding a new life on a different planet. Only a few years later does an unexpected visit rehash old feelings.

*Glimpses of Obi Wan, Ahsoka, Rex.

A/N: I had an anon reach out an ask for a part 2, then I read this one so I could get in the mood lmaooo. THEN I realized I NEEDED to rewrite part 1 again.....soooo I did! Ummm please enjoy!

Part 2 is ON THE WAY!!!!🫶🏽

My REQUESTS are OPEN!!!! 😌

———————————————————-

The day you left the order was the hardest decision you’ve ever made. It wasn’t because of false accusations or because you believed that the sith could help you achieve goals the Jedi couldn’t. No it was one specific rule, one specific code. Attachments are Forbidden. Love was forbidden and you were in love with Anakin, your best friend. It wasn't his fault, you couldn’t blame him for being himself. You couldn’t exactly blame the code either, it was a rule you needed to abide by. However, it hadn’t stopped the pain that coursed through your body, your heart, and your mind. You knew the reality of the situation, you knew there wasn’t an easy way to go about this, to work through this. The love that you craved was immense, you felt drawn to him, yet you knew the truth, he could never care for you the way you hoped.

But that was a lie.

He could care in the way you yearned for, only it wasn’t you he wanted. The memory was fresh, as if it had happened yesterday, how could you forget? You were beginning your rounds of patrol, it was your turn that night. Obi Wan usually took the first shift leaving room for him to meditate when he can. Anakin took the second shift to avoid ruining his sleeping schedule, to soak in the last remaining source of the sun. You took the last shift because you had always taken the shifts or the jobs nobody wanted. You hadn’t minded, you enjoyed the peace and the quiet that came with it.

Only it was that night that you had regretted it. Per usual you had wandered down the halls, your gaze landing on every corner, crevice, window, walls, doors, rooms. You had continuously minding your thoughts to yourself, even then as you walked, you couldn’t help it. Work seemed to find itself placed on the back burner as you drifted in and out of wants and desires. You reprimanded yourself repeatedly as you tried to embed the code as far deep into your soul as possible…But it all came to an end. You had reached her corridor, looking further into the hall even within the dim lighting, it was as clear as day. Your heart shattered.

It’s pathetic how well you remembered the way Padme grasped Anakin’s arm. The way she pulled him into her room, so late into the evening as it neared the middle of the night. The way he looked at her, his eyes wandering her features, he took her in as though she were the only woman in the galaxy. Her lashes flutter as her gaze locks onto his, her smile sweet, warm, and welcoming. It was an open invitation, as she guided him into the heated space of her bedroom. He followed her with such ease, he practically melted in front of her, his thoughts no longer his own echoing into an abyss that was only heard by you.

Your mind and body are no longer connected, your feet moving backward, retracing your steps. They guided you towards your bedroom, forgetting the fact that you still had hours left of your duty. Your mind and your heart collided for the second time, only it wasn’t pleasant as it once was, time it was painful. The yearning, the wanting, the day dreaming the milliseconds of when you touched or when you locked eyes or when you spoke truths to each other-it had all but ceased. It crumbled apart right before your eyes. You felt betrayed, you felt envious, you felt delusional, you felt wrong, you felt guilty. But you were thankful, you were thankful he hadn’t noticed you were thankful that you could escape knowing now that he would never love you the way he had Padme.

This was your time. It was selfish you know, and you realized that your life’s work depended on this decision. You were selfish with it all, the Jedi were never meant to be that way. They were meant to be selfless and giving, protectors, you were none of those things, at least not in the eyes of the Jedi. You had devoted all your life to the cause of the war, the battles that you won, the battles that you’ve lost, the lives that you’ve saved and the lives you lost all for what? You were tormented in every aspect of your life and this was the final straw. You have given all of it up, it was pathetic, and it was stupid indeed, but deep down you had already craved a simple life. So you made the decision to leave and there was no one to stop you. The moment opportune.

You had a plan, you knew the routine schedule of the Nabooian security forces. You knew where your beloved Master and friend.. would be, it was just too easy. You had known that taking your own ship, or a Nabooian ship would alert everyone of your disappearance. It was easier to slip out taking one of the speeders you found as you travel by foot for the first few miles. From there it was a cake walk allowing you to take off without so much of a trace. It was a success, to say the least, by now it would be too late. Dawn was nearing, you had already passed the inner city, the port and onto the cargo ship. With your bag slung over your shoulder as you walk along the corridor, the vessel makes its great escape as it exits the atmosphere.

You knew that you wouldn’t be returning to Coruscant, you knew how devastated Anakin would be. As any concerned friend would be… Obi Wan would be there to deliver the loss, while Padme would take the chance to ease his pain in every way possible. You couldn’t stay in Naboo or to return home to the Jedi temple on Coruscant. You couldn’t bear the pain that came from watching someone else fall in love with someone else that wasn’t you. Nor could you ignore the feelings that bubbled beneath your skin, the life of Jedi was taking its toll and for once this decision hadn’t felt wrong. You felt a slight relief, this was a good thing, you were going to start a new life, one that you craved. You were going to be free of all the madness in your life…

It had been close to two years now, you had found yourself a home on Aurea, in the city of Shakamm Crater. A vast planet filled with forests, oceans, sands, a tropical climate, a beautiful home, it was better than all the metal structures you were used to. The planet itself practically ran on so many various forms of trades, and skills, artisans of all kinds. It was easy to find a low maintenance job, one that allowed you to keep a low profile and keep an eye on potential exposing threats. You were lucky in the fact that there were millions of people that resided here. That alone brought comfort to you with an extra padding of protection. You knew that the Jedi would never check the core worlds, only the outer rim held their focus.

It had reached nightfall by now, you had gotten home maybe an hour or two ago, a small humble abode in the middle of an open field nearest the ocean and forest. You sought out a home that allowed you to live at the edge of the city, the area brought a deep comfort reminding you of some of the gardens you once walked through at the temple. Your home was open, your floor plan wide, everything within sight, except of course your bedroom and bathroom. It was exactly the space you needed and nothing more and nothing less. A breeze had swept past the cotton material of your curtain. You had wandered over to it, wrapping the cloth together and pinning it to the side. A late night indeed. The breeze was cooler in the middle of the night, the stars amongst the galaxy calling to you. You take a seat near the windowsill, your chin tucked into your hand. Your hair wet from the previous shower you had taken, your large tunic and shorts, loose against your body. The moons at its highest peak, a steady stream of light pouring in. You take a moment shutting your eyes, as you battle the memories of your past that threaten to consume you.

———-

A specific image of you sitting in a home, you in your natural state, your hair in its unruliness, a sight he hasn’t seen in a few years…This version of you was placed near a window overlooking a view, one that he couldn’t see. One that the force wouldn’t allow him to see. Oh how you haunted him in every aspect of his waking life, odd moments, during meditations, and even in his slumber. When he was the most relaxed he received these visions. What had he expected carrying your trophies around as if they were a part of him. He places a hand on his forehead, a headache beginning to form behind his eyes, he shuts them for just a brief moment or two to relieve the pain but nothing comes of it.

Rex, his loyal captain, his friend, turned to look at his General “Sir are you alright?” Anakin knew the reason he was asking, the two in the past have shared their horrific memories, bonding in a way that allows him to feel safe with trust. The many sleepless nights, the days spent in triggering environments, forcing old and new memories to collide..

“Yeah I’m just fine Rex” He grumbled, not in the mood to respond to his question in further detail. This was exhausting him, driving him into a silent madness. He knew Rex knew better than to push the situation, so he hadn’t. For that Anakin was grateful for, at this time he had no energy left to give. Anakin wasn’t sure why it was like this, this…recurrence of you. You were everywhere and in everything. His mind was tormented and not a single person could help him ease his pain. Not his padawan, his old Master, not even Padme.

“Master I can’t keep fixing this power core, I need a new one and the fuel tank is running low-” Ahsoka shouts from the back of the ship, Anakin heaved a sigh as she drags herself back into the cockpit. Ahsoka, with each passing day was beginning to remind Anakin of himself. Her attitude, her knowledge that she gained, her skills growing, Rex refrains from chuckling as Ahsoka stops in her tracks “-Where are we?”

Obi Wan only shakes his eye as his locks onto a set of coordinates before looking out towards the massive planet. “I believe we’re headed for Planet Aurea, I hear Shakamm Crater has a docking station. Fuel and maintenance might be a bargain.” Obi Wan says as he checks the scanners. There were two engine malfunctions and the fuel tank ran dangerously low.

“Great, let's hope the repair won’t cost a fortune.” Anakin replies as he pressed a few control keys before pulling back on the yoke, he nods his head towards Rex. With extra support Rex began to slow down the ship as it passed through its orbit and through its atmosphere. The sun’s burning glow hit the planet signaling that it was daylight.

“There’s the station” Ahsoka points out as Anakin helps Rex fly the ship closer, landing it on a dock. The group opens up the hatch as they exit the craft taking in the scenery before them. There lay an assortment of ships, workers, and droids. Sparks floated about the air as equipment mold, cut seal and from pieces of metal. In all directions various sounds filled the station, rumblings of engines, motors, workers, customers and droids shouting amongst each other. It was easy to get side tracked if no one knew where to look or what to do. Ahsoka and Rex were slightly captivated by this environment, there was an energy about it, the openness, the invitation of it all.

Obi Wan and Anakin had a set routine, and while Ahsoka may be learning, it came with instinct the way the two immediately went searching for a mechanic. Time was of the essence and with a quickness, Anakin and Obi Wan spotted a mechanic, who happened to have been wiping the grease from his hands and fingers, and exasperated sigh leaving his lips. “What can I do for you?”

“We need fuel, a new power core and a new engine, oh and our left wing needs some attention. We need it done by tomorrow. ” Anakin states as he crosses his arms, Obi Wan already in the same stance.

The worker glares at him, frustration clearly evident. “Tomorrow? I at least need a few days to get the parts- What’d you do? Fight some pirates or something”

“Now why would we tell you that?” Anakin’s voice clips. Obi Wan takes notice choosing to remain silent until he feels he needs to step in…which he could only assume won’t be long.

“Look, you won’t find a better worker than me around here-” The worker taking a step forward causing Anakin to raise a slight eyebrow.

“Never mind that, We will pay you handsomely to fix it in a few days” Obi Wan offers as he takes a step forward between them.

The worker shifts his angered gaze from Anakin’s and towards Obi Wans. “ What’d you have in mind?” Obi Wan slips to the side pulling the attention of the worker allowing them to separate from his padawan. Anakin rolls his eyes keeping his shoulders square, arms tightly crossed as he scanned the area. The smell of burning metal brought a comfort to him, a warm comfort at that. For a moment it allowed him to relax, to find peace, it was only then did he realize what he’d done. A tug pulls at his chest, a familiar one at that. The bond that Anakin had with the force was immense and strong. His intuition, his instincts were usually never wrong.

He takes this as a cue, one from the force that suggested he dive deeper. Again a harsher pull, that caused his heart to leap, his eyes searching, as his feet began to guide him. For a brief second his heart stopped, as the pull so great caused him to freeze. There it was, that essence, it drew him in further, his head shifted slightly to the side. It was right there, the thing that called to him through the force if only he could just-His eyes follow an invisible line over his shoulder, time seemed to have ceased in its very existence. His chest tightens, his breath trapped within his throat, there a sight for sore eyes, was you, the very person he dreamt of.

There you were burning brighter than a thousand suns, your skin glowing. You swiped the back of your hand onto your forehead, pushing at the loose hair to the sides and out of your eyes. The grease on your hands smeared a tiny bit into your forehead. You had worn a uniform jumpsuit that the sleeves were tied around your waist, exposing your short sleeve shirt. More grease and dirt stained the skin of your arms and neck. You were captivating, breathtaking, Anakin was sure he was forgetting to breathe.

You were in a position of concentration, you had been sitting criss crossed on the nose of a ship. You had been working on the droid that had been trapped in its place. It beeped at you causing you to shake your head allowing you to loosen it up just a tad. You were only a mere few paces away and yet he could see you clear as day. Anakin hadn’t missed the way your smile had broken its seriousness. A coworker of yours had wandered over to you, saying something that naturally let your beautiful laughter escape. You had quickly turned your attention allowing the small robotic creature to jump out of its pocket landing next to its owner. Your friend who shouts something at you causing you to wave them off.

They cackled loudly and waited till you hopped down from the nose of the ship. You smiled and spoke, shaking your head. You reached into your backpack that you had now slung over your shoulder, you pulled out something small. He wasn’t able to make out what it was but by the looks of it your friend was happy. The two of you waving goodbye to one another only to catch the eyes of Anakin in the process. The force had a funny way of bringing the ones you know and love back into your life. It was then you froze, your heart thumped with everything it had. Your chest squeezing, the air from your lungs evaporating. It felt as though no time had passed, the way you two connected, a strong cord securing its hold, it pulled you both in. For a moment you remember it all, the love, the pain, the comfort, anger, the happiness, every bit of emotion there was to feel.. all brought up from the past..

You didn’t want to admit that after all this time you still loved him. That he still looked as handsome as the day you first met. He no longer had a padawan braid signifying that he passed the trials. Both hands were protected by gloves, only one was more textured than the other. His hair grew a few inches longer than the last time you saw him. A scar cutting through the top of his eyebrow and down to his cheek, his piercing blue eyes, locked with yours. You’d heard stories about him, most of which were his heroic deeds, his cunningness and his ability to chaotically strategize. A poster boy for the republic for the Jedi. Then there were other stories that suggested a dark version of him, one only smugglers and bounty hunters speak of. His reputation preceded him, in more ways than one.

Anakin held an intensity about him, always falling into depth, on each end of the scale never in between. To match his intensity a boyish nature flickers behind his eyes. A way to keep relief from all the chaos and suffering of the war. Still even now he found ways to peer into your soul to keep you trapped beneath his gaze. A trace so heavily captivating it was hard to break-but you had too. With two blinks, you took a step back, your thoughts finally catching up to your body. There was a decent amount of space between you, even then your mind began to calculate its time and an exit plan. He may have a hold over you but, maker forbid, that he brings you back to the Jedi. You weren’t going to risk it, not this time. No matter how deep your bond ran, or how much you used to love him.

Obi Wan comes into view, placing a hand on his shoulder. Two more people who you had not recognized joined him on the opposite side. It had taken you mere seconds to recognize that young togurta is a force wielder. You didn't need to look for the lightsabers. The man behind her was a clone easily distinguished by the many rogue clones you had encountered along the way. Obi mouths your name in question, the young padawans gaze follows theirs towards your direction, realization flashes across her features. Reality bends back into its original form, the opportunity arises as you break out into a run. Anakin took his only chance to go after you, he shouts at Obi Wan to stay with the ship, Ahsoka and Rex both protesting, wanting to follow him. However, Obi Wan knew better than to interfere.

You’re faster than Anakin remembered, usually he’d out run you but this time you were out running him. Somewhere in the space between the crowd and the exit, he shouts your name, calling for you. You ignored him against every fiber of your being. Your feet carried you through the sea of people, your body slamming into every other person you came across. You hadn’t even had the chance to mutter an apology. You had created a pattern, one that you ingrained into your mind for a day like this. You zig zagged through the crowd creating confusion as you ran for the threshold. You reached the edge of door heading for the platform. You see your speeder in sight tossing your bag in the passenger as you threw yourself into the front seat. Your hands worked quickly struggling to get the speeder started.

Your eyes flickering up briefly to notice Anakin had come to a slow jog outside of the station. You curse under your breath as you tried the system again it created an unsettling sound fear building up in your chest. “C’mon c’mon c’mon” you groaned as you kept trying. Anakin catches your eyes, his feet carrying him towards you, a roar of the speeder signaling that its alive. You had no room for hesitation, your foot slamming down kicking the vehicle into gear. Anakin swears as his eyes scan the area for a speeder to hijack. What could only be described as force luck, he finds one, quickly igniting it, placing it into gear as he chases after. He’ll be damned if he lets you get away one more time. Hes relentless, at the upmost level, he’s refusal significantly stronger. He will not let you get away, that’s not an option. He’s relentless, his refusal at a it’s maximum level. He just needed to see you, to grab a hold of you and throttle you for leaving him when you did. To wrap his arms around you to tell you that he missed you. You weren’t getting away this time.

———

As you reached your home you clumsily parked the speeder, the plants and grass swayed with the motion of the wind. You rushed into your home, heading for your room. Underneath the floor boards you buried an emergency bag. You knew a day like this would come, the Jedi would be searching for you. They’d sent three Jedi and a clone to prove that to you, and they weren’t just any Jedi. Maker only knows of their plans, what they might do to you. Force you to stand trial as a criminal, give you a life sentence for crimes that you’d never committed? Or would they exile you as if you hadn’t already done that yourself? What brand had they placed onto your name? Foolish thoughts but the possibilities could easily become your reality. You knew the Jedi were capable of anything as long as they felt it benefited a cause. All you knew was that you weren’t willing to go back.

Your heart completely shattered, its pieces broken, the one that were already mended, destroyed. You loved the home you built yourself, you loved the people you’ve worked with and come to know. They had became your friends welcoming you into their families. This planet was your home. For it to be stripped from you angered you, it upset you. The life you’ve always wanted was taken away from you. You’d assumed it was because of your selfishness of leaving those in need was the cause of this moment. You blamed yourself but you didn’t have the time to cry. Your feet moved before your mind did, slugging the bag over your shoulder you didn’t have the time to take a glance around to say goodbye. You were already out of the door, running towards your speeder getting ready to throw your bag back into only to stop in your tracks.

Your were stuck halfway between your door and speeder, Anakin blocking your path. The dirt and gravel shifting underneath your boots. Your legs threaten to break out into another run, Anakin tilts his head slightly. He was ready for the chase, and he’d do anything to stop, you both knew that much. Neither one of you chose to speak opting for silence your eyes locked onto one another. Anakin’s jaw tense and set, his brows knitted together. He knows what he should feel what he did feel, shock, happiness, relief, comfort, but it all vanished when you decided to run, again. Now he only felt hurt and anger, confusion, but he’ll be damned if he doesn’t get the answers he deserves.

You knew Anakin wasn’t going to let you leave, with his body in the way, of your speeder, trying to match him in combat seemed like a good idea…Only you knew how dangerous it could get, how his emotions controlled his every step, his every action-not the Jedi way. You were no Jedi. Anakin lifted his chin up, as if to dare you to make the move. A challenge, one he used to do when the two of you sparred as Padawans. The twinkle behind his eyes, even in his seriousness, a playfulness dances there. A familiar game with a familiar ending. You were smart enough to know to leave as much space as possible. Anakin fought the urge to smirk, he had you exactly where he wanted, and he knew you knew that. Time ceased to exist, the two of you knowing each other like the back of your hands.

Your chest heaving as you threw your bag down onto the ground. Fine. He wasn’t going down without a fight neither were you. You sure as hell weren’t going to make this arrest very easy for him either. You quickly side stepped to the opposite side of your bag as if you were going to run. The faux step caused Anakin to stumble as he lunged for you. You dodged to the side running to grab your bag heading for your speeder. Anakin lifts his hand force pushing to the side away from your speeder and into the grass for a soft landing. You groaned in frustration. Anakin’s heavy boots charging for you. You push yourself up barely the ground sticking your leg sweeping his out from under him. It almost made you giggle how well you could still trick him. Only in this situation it wasn’t as humorous.

Anakin was quick to recover you barely noticing as his arms looped around your body. His faced tucked into the crook of your neck, one arm securely across your chest gripping your shoulders with one hand tucked to your chin. The other tightly wrapped around your midsection securing your other arm in place. Your body almost immediately melting into his hold, tears forming at the brims of your eyes. The comfort of him overwhelming you, a move he used to use on you to disarm you. You were always prepared for it but this time-it was difficult. A straggled scream into groan hiss out of your clenched teeth.

“Y/N?” He whispers, his lips gently brushing against your skin, goosebumps rise as his breath caresses it.

You shook your head “No..” the tears threatening to spill, both of your chests rising and falling heavily. All this running, it was exhausting, and the pain that course through you both. Somehow the force connected you both, the way you formed together, molded each other as if you were made-No-you couldn’t think this way-You stepped on his foot, forcing him to release some of his hold, you slipped your wrist out of his hold on your midsection, you twisted sideways placing your hand on his abdomin force pushing him away from you. Anakin flew back landing back into the ground. Your feet running you in the direction of the speeder.

From the time you got to the speeder, and by the time Anakin and caught up to you, he yells loud enough to have you stop in your tracks. “DONT YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT GETTING INTO THAT SPEEDER!”

“Or what? Huh? You plan on having Obi Wan and his padawan come after me? Have the clone take me out with stun gun? I WONT GO BACK!” You argued turning on your heel, you could see the fury that burned with him as his heavy boot marched towards you.

“You left the temple all on your own! Why?” He asks no trace of malice, only anger and pain.. Deep down Anakin knew why he asked you this question, one of which he needed to know why you’d left him there alone on Naboo, to return to the trials without you by his side. Two why had you chosen to run at the sight of his presence? What had he done to make you hate him so much?

Fear etched its way through your veins, was this all part of his plan? To get you to confess all your sins, the reason you believed were more than enough to vanish from the jedis teachings. Was this his ploy to have you weak and broken to take you back to the Jedi temple, to have you stand trial exposed and then imprisoned, or be exiled, to waste away alone.. “I won’t play into your games, Anakin. There’s nothing to say!” You retorted, your own eyebrows scrunching together in anger, though a sorrow hides in the depths of your eyes.

“The Jedi was once your home, your people! Obi Wan and I were your family! You abandoned them, you abandoned us, you adandoned me!” You could see his hurt behind his eyes, the way they threatened to tear. You could see how much your absence has affected him, tormented him. It was never your intention but even now you vowed to keep him at arms length even if that meant the ones you called family take you back to prison you escaped from.

“It was once my home..I did care for all of you-some more than others..but I was never a Jedi.” Your voice carried as it shifted from loud to a softened tone. Hidden within a meaning that Anakin recognized. To feel displaced in your own home, in your own way of living was exhausting, for some they find a peace within.

“We talked for hours about what our lives would look like. The ways of the force, the Jedi the knights we wished to become, the masters we were encouraged to embody! We were supposed to do this together!” You'd known that the Jedi was never going to be more than what it was. Anakin still had hope, how that it would change, hope that he’d gain all the knowledge and power in the galaxy.

“It was nothing but false pretenses, false dreams that weren’t meant to come true, Anakin” The way you had said his name, made his heart lurch forward. Even with all this anger the need for you to say it again at an all time high. You had managed to convince yourself of the insignificance of the dreams you’ve shared, shattering them to pieces. To him it meant that all of it meant nothing to you, that you couldn’t care in the way he once believed you did. Even that felt wrong.

“The Jedi are nothing like the Sith. How could you compare them? You and I both know what the Jedi truly are”

“The truth is that neither Jedi or Sith are correct in their teachings. Their minds vexed by their own ignorance.”

“Is that why you ran?” He questions, he’d noticed a small connection in your words, a slow realization of what it was you were implying. Anakin needed confirmation, something tangible, but even then he wasn’t sure if he truly understood the situation.

“It’s none of your business why I ran” Your heart thrummed in a pace that felt as if it might fly out of your chest and land right into the palms of his hands. You refused to allow him any information, if he’d chosen to take you in to custody, even then you wouldn’t give up your pain, your emotions, that was the Jedi trained in you. To restraint to prevent to protect the parts of you the galaxy wasn’t allowed to see.

“As a Jedi Knight, I have every right to ask you this question. You will answer it” He demanded.

“You have no power over me. I am not yours to order around. I will do no such thing.”

“You will tell me”

“No”

“What has you so afraid that you can’t even explain yourself?” You hadn’t noticed the way he shifted closer to you, the way his scent filled your nose amongst the fresh breeze. It was intoxicating your senses. You shook your head trying to clear him from your over crowded thoughts, regaining your control you were beginning to loose. As out of practice as you were in controlling your emotions you knew Anakin could sense what you were feeling. The fighting was beginning to take its toll.

“I am not afraid” You say through gritted teeth.

“Then tell me why you’d left me.” His voice softens, the aggression leaving him completely, the two of you beginning to wear down from the tension, all time high of emotions that rampaged through you both.

“I can’t” Your eyes flicker between his. You fought the tears that risked falling. Your teeth remain gritted as your jaw sets. You could feel the exhaustion building within yourself. You were tired from all of this pain and torment. You had tried to make yourself look cruel, evil, an enemy that belonged in a prison. That the Jedi wasn’t your home but you weren’t good enough for the Sith either. You made yourself look like a runner with a need to work for hire. A possible bounty hunter if you truly wanted. You hadn’t, you’d become a mechanic who helped anyone that came through the station good or bad. Jedi life was never truly meant for you. Your emotions are always running at an all time high, the natural way of life which you craved, it made you vulnerable…The Jedi could’ve prosecuted you for it.

That was only part of the reason, Padme was only a trigger for you. She was everything you wanted to be and more. To do as she pleases, to live as free and unrestricted as possible. The ability she had to help those in need while remaining true to herself and her cause. She’s able to keep her head on her shoulders while rule with logic and emotion. All the things you wished you could’ve done or still do. You supposed that’s why Anakin loved Padme. She was everything he wanted to be and more. She could give him things that you couldn’t, not then and certainly not now. Anakin could sense the war within yourself, the push and pull within the force evident and clear. With that came the barrier you built around yourself, he knew you all too well. You’d kept your secrets hidden, but your force signature called to his begging and pleading for help.

Two single tears roll down your cheeks staining them along the way. Anakin had half a mind to reach out and swipe them away. Your suffering was more than what he’d imagined. Your brows scrunched together again in anger as you aggressively wiped the tears from your cheeks. You crossed your arms, your body tense and tight, it practically locked itself in place. Anakin had come close enough to you that if he truly wanted he could grasp your hand and pull you into him. The two of you lost in the moment. “Tell me,” He whispers, pleading for an answer.

“ If you’re not here to take me back to the temple then leave” You jutted your chin towards the road.

“I won’t leave you again, Y/N not this time.” he whispers to you, the sound of your name brings you back in time. All of your old memories collide into one another. He calls back to you, to who you were, who you both were. He calls into the force for guidance as its presence builds upon it. You are reminded of your friendship you’d built together. The love, the warmth, the comfort, the support, all of it. His hand extends outward grasping into your hand that had wiped away your tears. He hadn’t hesitated, he hadn’t given himself the opportunity. There it was again, the emotions that plagued you came crawling back. His skin gilded against yours, the slightly tug, bringing you as close as possible to him. The tears flowed without warning, you shook your head, eyes cast downwards, as you attempted to pull yourself out of his grasp. His touch burned in a way that your heart craved. Everything about your internal body betrayed you, even your thoughts became clouded.

“You’re wrong…I-I saw you with Padme” You whispered, your gaze flickering up to meet his. In your clouded state of mind you knew the truth. He would leave you again and you would be in the same position you are now.

“ What?”

“You both looked so in love.” You shrugged, your body losing all its energy. Your lashes flutter with wetness by the tears you’d shed.

“ How did you-” His expression turned to confusion. He’d checked the hall that night. Taking every precaution there was to make sure that their evening had been left uninterrupted…It seems that part of the plan went accordingly but what he hadn’t considered was you. The possibility of you catching him in the act..

“It was an accident, really I mean, to think that I could’ve been able to escape my own torment even while on duty-” You shook your head, a painful laugh escaped your lips. “-I was doing my usual routine check and yet, I found myself torn between becoming the jedi I was meant to be, or to be in love with someone I couldn’t have… In the galaxy we live in, the decision had been made for me…I realized I couldn’t be in love and be a Jedi. I would’ve broken one rule out of the order. To risk expulsion or prison, a lifetime sentence alone locked in a cell or trapped on a deserted planet seemed extreme…so I left.”

Anakin found it hard to believe that you had found someone to love let alone a Jedi at that. A part of him was angry, that’s you had chosen someone else, though another part of him understood. With Padme he’d learned what puppy love meant, but from the looks of it, the love you’d experienced was far greater than his. He knew as time went on, as your disappearance loomed over him, he’d learned that his love wasn’t as strong as it should’ve been.. Love no matter how big or small it was blinding. “Who was it?”

“Who was what?” You sniffled your tears slowing down, your hands vigorously wiping at your eyes.

“Who were you in love with?”

“Maker,” You groaned, you took a breath “-It doesn’t matter because he doesn’t love me.” You shrug, offering him a sorrowful, empty smile.

“How do you know?”

You looked at him ridiculously, had the conversation blown past his head? “Anakin, I said he’s with someone else” You clarified.

“I know about that but I still don’t understand-”His eyebrows scrunch as his gaze fixes on the floor, a hand slightly dismissing what you already stated. Only then did he stop in his tracks, it clicked. You’d said the man you loved was with someone else, he had been with someone else…His eyes flickered up to yours, he released the hold on his brows as they shot up in surprise. “You-You love me?” He asks you in disbelief, but only a pain filled smile creases into your features. You give a smile and a simple shrug. A variation of the words you were looking for hits you as your tears return. This time Anakin was quick to catch each one, his feet practically knocking into yours, his hands lifting to cup your cheeks, his thumb swiping at the skin.

His heart and nearly ripped apart at the mere thought of you watching him fall for Padme. How you’d caught him in the act, while you were fighting against the entire galaxy and yourself, alone. You hadn’t come to him, for the same reasons that he couldn’t go to you..Yet Anakin made the exception with Padme, had his attraction not been as strong to her, he might’ve noticed that his best friend was suffering..The truth was even after you’d left Anakin’s love for Padme dwindled to nothing. It wasn’t enough, it was never enough. You were the one who he sought out, the force connected the both of you in ways he couldn’t describe. All he knew was that you were his home no matter where he was.

Anakin had been blinded by the Angel he’d seen on Tatooine forgetting his best friend’s existence. You were there for as long as Anakin could remember. You gave him advice, you went along with his stupid yet ridiculously complicated plans that always seemed to work out in the end. You faced obstacles together, you were his support, and all that time you had fallen in love with him. He had become so infatuated with the thought of an older woman, distracting himself from the possibilities of being with you. He failed to realize that you, yourself were the guardian Angel sent to him not Padme. He was blinded by his own ambitions to see it.

“I do, I just-can’t let you take the blame for my fall-” You choked out. You could see the thoughts forming beneath his gaze. You saw how he over analyzed, going over every moment, every second trying to understand where he went wrong. Then again you were there to ease his mind, to sooth his pain as you’d always done. How could he have been so caught up in a distraction. He’d taken you for granted and he hated that he had. It took him all these years to finally figure out that the deep love you held was something he’d been dying to reciprocate. He’d lost touch with his home, with his reality. He’d realized that the force had connected you both, always drawing you both into one another. The two of you share a magnetic pull, like two puzzle pieces fitting together.

He shakes his head, “There’s nothing to blame, you were always meant to be mine. Your heart called to me every moment of every day. There wasn’t a moment where my thoughts weren’t of you. I missed you so much, I was a fool to leave you to your own thoughts. I should’ve been with you, the force is what brought you back to me. The trust that I would've seen you again-it always brings me back to you.” His eyes flicker between yours as he lowers his forehead touching yours. His eyes fluttering shut, his hands still cupping your cheeks. The warmth of your skin against his flesh, it drove him insane. The electricity that followed between the two of you was undeniable. The force too pulled within you both, he could resist the urge-

His lips crash down onto yours lips, you hesitated for a mere second or too, realizing that his lips were in fact touching yours. Anakin nudges your head as he kisses you, his tongue already dancing with yours. Somewhere in between one of his hands slipped from your face, wrapping around your waist pulling you impossibly closer. You don’t remember reaching up latching your hands onto his clothes, all you knew was how hard you were gripping them. The air in your chest had nearly dissipated, your chest tightening, your body needing air. Anakin growled as he felt you slipping away from him, fuck air, he didn’t need it, all he wanted was you.

“ Wait- wait” You say breathlessly. Your mind wandered to Padme and how wrong this situation is. To think that he might still be with her right now. If anything was to happen because of this you’d feel even more guilty than you already do. You shook your head moving to keep him at arm's length. You needed to put distance between you both. “Padme-We can’t, she’ll be devastated to find out about this. Oh maker and if the Jedi find out-“ your eyes squeezed shut your nose scrunching in discomfort at the thought.

“Padme has nothing to do with this, I left her the moment I realized that I knew you were the one I loved. I won’t risk losing you again, I can’t so much as breathe when you’re not near. I’m in agony when I’m without you and when I’m with you I can finally breathe-The Jedi, they have no control over who I love. It is forbidden, yes, but the compassion that comes with love is essential to one’s life. You’re the one I want, Y/N” He smiles at you, sweet and genuine, a hint of his boyish charm shines through. How could you resist such a devotion of love? You couldn’t deny that you both wanted each other, craved each other. With the guidance of the force you two were finally brought together as if this was all made just for you both.

“Ani, this is life or death- secret this big could destroy you-” You started.

“-I know what I want.” He takes a step forward gripping your jumpsuit, pulling you back in by the waist.

“You know they’ll check the logs on your fighter to see where you’ve been-” You shook your head, you placed your hands on his chest attempting to put a barrier between you both. Though your arms weaken, your body already itching to succumb to his warmth. The force and the galaxy hummed with joy, it echoed through you even as you argued and deflected, trying to stop what was meant to happen.

Anakin would never allow that, not when you’re here, in his arms, alive, breathing, your skin touching his. What more could he ask for, the Galaxy could wait for him, as the war would always be there. With you he wasn’t guaranteed the time he wished for, the time he needed. He’d have to relearn you all over again, and that was all he could dream of.“Y/N, you’re not changing my mind.” His hand caresses your cheek, you instinctively lean into his touch. Anakin hums, his smile remains, as your eyes finally flutter shut. He pulls your head towards his, his lips pressing softly against your forehead. So inviting, so calming, the tension melting away.

“I might” You huffed.

“Never”Anakin chuckled his hand around your waist stroking your hip. You could feel how relaxed he’d become. He held you in a tight embrace, one where you could feel that he wasn’t ready to let go. One where you’re sure you weren’t ready to let go either. You sighed involuntarily, Anakin’s heart jumped at the sound. Your eyes flutter open upon the sound of your own sighed, your own heart pounding.

“What’s wrong?” He asks, as you lifted your head back, your eyes lifting to meet his.

“Nothing, but um we should probably get back to the port. I’m sure Obi Wan and his padawan are looking for you.” You peel yourself out of his arms only for his hand to grasp onto yours pulling you in for another kiss. His nose bumps yours just as he takes your lips into his. So tender and yet it’s filled with passion, a need, so heated it becomes. You fell just as quickly as you realized how far he wanted to take it. A chuckle vibrates through your chest as you peck his lips once more. “-Mhmm we can’t”

“I’ll have Ahsoka stall him for a while-with a little help from Rex, it’ll keep him occupied” He smirked

You squint your eyes at him “You would have his padawan distract him? And the clone?”

“ Not his padawan, my padawan” his smirk turns into a grin, your eyebrows shoot up in surprise. “Besides, Rex will be there to help in case things go sideways.”

“ Y-You’re padawan? Since when?” You went to sling your bag over your shoulder, Anakin swiftly taking it from you and placing it on his shoulder instead.

“Since I became a Jedi knight. The council thought it would be a good idea for me to train a padawan. They felt I was fit for the role” The two of you inched toward your front to enter into your home.

“Fit for the role, my ass.” You muttered rolling your eyes playfully.

“Are you questioning my skills as a Master?” He crosses his arms staring at you with an expression that was filled with pride, and with teasing.

“So what if I am?” You questioned, crossing your own arms as you stood near the threshold.

“So you want to pick a fight with me?”

“You couldn’t teach a padawan to save your life-”

“I do hope the two of you have resolved your issues.” Obi Wan's voice echoes from the end of your driveway. No trace of hatred or anger, only a genuine sense of care, happiness. Your heart squeezed at the hope that you were safe again. You felt at ease and comforted, Obi Wan travels across the dirt and gravel, as nears you and Anakin, Ahsoka trailing behind with Rex. Even you could sense the happiness from her, a smile gracing her features.

“You could say that.” Anakin grins sharing a look with you by his side, you couldn’t help but return the grin.

“It's good to see you, Obi Wan” You shift your gaze back to Obi Wan who couldn’t help but grin from ear to ear.

“It’s good to see you too, Y/N” Obi wan bows his head, his gaze catches dirt and grass smeared from the ground onto both of your clothes. He took note that the two of you shared a few throws to one another. He could remember the many training sessions you both shared, how you sparred, the way you too made it look so easy…Warmth spread through his chest as his gaze fixated on both of you. To see the two of you in the same light, teasing, challenging, loving, two compassionate hearts. He knew what you felt, and how you’d left the order for a price he couldn’t pay. One that he considered doing himself.. Yet he was proud of you for taking that chance, illuminating the path for Anakin to fulfill his destiny, his fate, that had already been written for him. A small silent sacrifice for the sake of the galaxy..whether you realized it or not.

Obi Wan knew the force worked in mysterious ways no matter how many times he practiced meditation. What he did know was the force had a way of working itself out, creating and destroying paths that were meant to cross. How could Obi Wan deny that even in your separation, the two of you were always meant to cross paths? There was a plan written in the stars that he couldn’t compete with, if the path drew Anakin to you, and you were meant to be his light, then Obi Wan wouldn’t question it further. The Jedi council wouldn’t hear a word of this and he intended to keep it that way. There was nothing they needed to know, both of his former padawans happy, alive and healthy, what more could a master ask for?

“Why don’t you guys come inside, sit down and relax. I’m sure your ship won’t be ready for a few hours” You stepped aside and opened up your home. The three wandered inside taking a look around. Anakin was quick to scoop your hand in his as he stood next you, his eyes finding yours the two of you sharing the same look of love and wonder.

A new path, a new challenge forged by the force by destiny by forbidden attachments...

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