#stapler in jello

[peachesbecraftin]

DAMMIT JIM! Stapler in Jello cross stitch

Pattern by LandscapesAreBoring (Etsy)

14 ct aida

[alexzpaintings]

stapler in jello from my the office flash :) IG / based in Katowice, Poland

Booking through IG or ozajfert@gmail.com

[cranberrymoons]

.

[hailsatanacab]

DPxTheOffice

"He's gonna sell it all 'cause he's Danny Phantom"

that's so fucking funny, i hate how much i love this!! i have made it way too long, rip to my five sentence rule - there's such a goldmine of content here lmao

👻

"I'd say it's been going on for... about a month now?"

"Two months," Sam interrupts. "It started just after your parents came in, remember?"

"Oh, Ancients, yeah, them. I can't believe I forgot that."

"Yeah, dude, it's thanks to them that this all started!" Tucker's practically vibrating in his chair, far too cheerful about the whole thing.

"Yeah," Danny sighs, looking directly into the camera. "Thank you, Mom and Dad. Thank you very much."

"Danny's parents are ghost hunters, which, as you can imagine, got Michael very excited. And very into ghosts. He accused Meredith of haunting him the other day, now he keeps spraying her with holy water and yelling 'Begone, foul spectre!' He's really taken a liking to Danny's parents."

"Can't imagine why."

"Yeah, and then—then—" Tucker dissolves into laughter, wheezing as he tries to catch his breath. "Then he brings in that personal trainer! In her yoga pants and crop top, with a pilates ball and everything! Sends her over to—to see Meredith, and then—oh Ancients—then when the woman leaves and Meredith is still there, he locks himself in his office and blasts the Lord's Prayer!"

"We think he mispelt exorcist. Hired someone in exercise instead."

"Exorcists are all phoney, anyway! And PTs are only slightly less phoney, so make sure you do your research and get someone that actually knows what they're doing before you commit, kids." Danny says, pointing down the camera. "That's how I got so jacked."

Both Sam and Tucker share a look before bursting into even more laughter. With a soft smack on his arm, Sam can't help but tease, "Please, you're 5'4" and look like you'd break your arm if you ever picked up a ream of paper. No wonder your sales are so low."

"Wow, that's so rude. I can't believe you'd do me like that. I'm 5'4 and a half, thank you."

"That's right, babe, and we love you for it."

Their laughter peters out and the trio slowly pull themselves upright in their chairs, remembering the cameras and the story they're meant to be telling.

"Honestly, thanks to these guys, the past few weeks have been a nightmare."

"Now who's being rude? At least this is one of those fun nightmares that you can laugh about later."

"Nope, this is a normal nightmare that everytime you think you've woken up from, you get back to work and see your boss dressed up in a hazmat suit that your parents sent him and realise that actually, maybe the real nightmare was the work colleagues you made along the way."

"Oh. Yeah, that sounds about right, sorry, Danny."

Tucker puts him on the shoulder and stays silent for a grand total of five seconds before turning back to the camera with an ecstatic grin on his face and a deep breath.

"Anyway, everytime one of us goes into Michael's office, we sneak something off his desk and blame ghosts. Sam's hidden some speakers in the ceiling that play recordings of her crying on a timer."

"I should have been an actor. I also got some of the warehouse guys in on it, so everytime Michael goes down there they'll throw a box or two around and make some ghostly moans. Didn't even ask why, they just agreed."

Sam's back to looking very proud of herself. Danny's back to cradling his head in his hands.

"Is that why Boxy's been about lately? Guys, seriously? I need to sleep!"

The only answer he gets is a shrug as Tucker turns back to the camera.

"Oh, and I've also installed a script on his computer so that whenever he types the word 'ghosts'—or 'goats', again, he's not really great at typing—his screen starts getting all staticky and closes down. He shrieks everytime, it's so funny!"

"I wonder if he'll go with a different PT to exercise his office next?"

"We should suggest P90X—your office ghost free in three months or your money back!"

Sam and Tucker are both burst into laughter, sinking deeper into their chairs as Danny just shakes his head. It takes a solid minute for the two to calm down, and more than one pointed question from the producer to get them back on track.

"Where's it going? Does it really have to go anywhere? Can't the joy of the bit be destination enough?"

"I wish it would go away," Danny groans, still not lifting his head. "I get enough of ghost hunting in my free time, I don't need it here, too."

"I've changed Danny's employee file to list him as deceased just to see how long it takes Michael to notice."

"Seriously? Tucker, really? That's—"

"Genius, Tuck. And then we can be all: 'Michael, what are you on about? Danny's been dead for three years!' I can't wait to see his face!"

"You guys know that Dwight's going to actually try to end me if he finds out, right? Pretty sure Dad slipped him a Fenton blaster before he left."

"You know what they say," Tucker says, grinning directly down the camera, "'Gaslight, Ghost them, Get pranked, boss!'"

[warrior-of-waistbands]

I don't feel very strongly about Ed Helms as an actor one way or the other but the CU brainrot has made it so that I have a pavlovian response to the sound of his voice, okay. My brother watches The Office, and sometimes I'll be minding my own business when I'll suddenly hear Ed Helms speaking and immediately my head shoots up like a dog hearing the word "Treat", and I'll go over and be all "oh you're watching the office?" And I'll stay and watch for a while, and my brother thinks it's because I'm genuinely interested in the show when really I couldn't care less about the office I just want to listen to Andy talking and imagine it's actually Krupp.

[cheesydelphox]

i think it's tragic that people forget that lahar has chronic "little shit" energy in fairy tail canon when he's not doing his job like he kinda just is in a constant state of fucking with doranbolt

like he deliberately didn't tell him fairy tail was alive during kttsh that's fucking hilarious and an absolute underrated moment

[cubbihue]

Sanderson, Timmy poofed away. If that does not spell totally guilty, I do not know what is. You won!

Sanderson knows this war is far from over. Eventually, Timmy will just come back to the office and dye something else of his pink. Or put his stapler into Jello again. It is their longest battle yet.

Bitties Series: [Start] > [Previous] > [Next]

[wilbursprincess]

Harvey fingering reader in the office? Maybe while Tim and blight are fighting again?

(I have a new obsession)

-✨

“Shhhh, Darling, Don’t Let Them Hear Us”

Sorrybur x Female Reader

Warnings: Semi-public, fingering

Combined your two Sorrybur asks for my own sake, ✨anon! The brainrot we’ve all been getting from these Sorry Boys videos, oh my. And all the people in my Discord going feral for the tie? You’re among obsessed friends, ✨anon.

Fic below cut!

“I’m going to get lunch,” Blight says loftily, shooting Tim a look. “Since I’ve been getting more sales, I deserve a longer break.”

Harvey just snorts, watching as Tim scowls and goes back to typing. “I don’t know why they didn’t accept the job of stapling,” he comments, shooting me a shy smile over the lid of his coffee cup.

Unbeknownst to the rest of the office, I’d started dating Harvey. We’d been keeping it quiet from everyone else, especially Blight, who wouldn’t hesitate to find a loophole in the office rules to break us up. Harvey was cute, funny, and genuinely one of the sweetest guys I’d dated, and we were planning to take our lunch break after everyone else to plan something for tonight.

“Hey, Tim?” Harvey asks. “We’re figuring out something here, it shouldn’t take long, but we need it to be quiet. I’ll give you 5 bucks for the vending machine if you take lunch now?”

Tim sighs. “10 bucks?”

“Deal,” Harvey replies, tossing some crinkled bills at Tim. “Thanks, man. You’re a lifesaver.”

“Whatever,” Tim grunts, pocketing the bills. “Maybe I’ll go make fun of Blight while he’s eating.”

The door into the break room shuts. Phil’s gone out with Ranthony for lunch, on the excuse that corporate’s paying, meaning Harvey and I are all alone.

“You’re welcome,” he says, eyes crinkling into a smile. “I didn’t want to wait to spend time with you.”

I blush a little, eyes darting to make sure the break room door is still shut before pecking him on the cheek. “Well, I’m flattered.”

He’d stayed over at my house last night, which wasn’t something I’d normally do this soon into a relationship. To be fair, it was an accident, and we hadn’t even had sex. I’d given him a handjob over his pants, and we both fell asleep while cuddling. Harvey had even apologized the next morning for falling asleep before he could repay me, but I told him I didn’t mind.

“I still feel bad for not returning the favor last night,” he admits, squeezing my hand. “I still want to.”

“Well, we can make plans for tonight-“

He shakes his head. “Now?”

“Now?”

“There’s nobody around, and it’s kind of hot to have to keep it a secret,” Harvey says, smirking. “And you are wearing a skirt.”

“If I drag my chair next to yours, it’ll look like we’re working on this alleged project,” I offer, heat pulsing between my thighs. “What do you say?”

Harvey looks over the moon. “Oh, fuck yes,”

We slide our chairs into position, making sure everything’s hidden under the desk. The raised voices of Blight and Tim seep through the break room door, and we both giggle.

“Now that’s a mood killer,” Harvey comments, making me laugh even harder. “Luckily, it’ll keep them busy.”

His fingers brush over the front of my panties, and I shiver.

“You’re sensitive, huh?“ His voice is barely a whisper in my ear.

I nod slightly, letting out a minuscule groan as he strokes my clit through the fabric. He has incredibly talented fingers, long ones at that, and it’s not long before I’m shaky, sweaty, and my panties are soaked.

Just as his fingers slip inside me, the break room door snaps open, both Blight and Tim storming out, clearly furious with each other.

“Don’t stop,” I whisper in Harvey’s ear, and he nods, pumping his fingers in and out of me, coughing to hide the noise.

“Harvey! He put my stapler in Jello!” Blight whines, staring at Tim who’s looking innocent. “Tell him to stop it!”

He circles his fingers around my most sensitive spot, and I have to pick up his coffee to hide my moan.

Snorting, Harvey shakes his head. “Blight, man, take it up with Tim, not me. I’m busy.”

“It doesn’t look like your busy,” he pouts. “Looks like you’re trying to chat her up.”

I hold up the report I was working on a few hours earlier. “Is this considered ‘chatting up’, Blight?”

Tim snorts. “Yea, Blight, you’re just saying that because you’re jealous Harvey gets bitches-“

“Tim! Language!” Blight snaps, and the two of them start yelling at each other again.

Through the yelling, Harvey’s fingers are sending me floating on cloud nine, and it’s impossible not to let at least something slip. I pretend to peer over his shoulder at his computer, letting out a whine in his ear.

“I know, baby, I know,” he replies, speeding up his fingers. “Shhh, darling, don’t let them hear us.”

I bite my tongue and swallow down a groan, hips shifting to ride on his very adept fingers. Middle and index inside me, thumb on my clit, and a few seconds later, I shudder and soak his fingers.

“Good girl,” he breathes in my ear, moving his hand to his mouth and making sure nobody’s watching before he licks it clean. “I’d like to do this again with my cock, not my fingers, if you’re free after work?”

[armoricaroyalty]

For some reason, when she kissed him, he thought of Theo.

Previous | Chapter Start | Beginning | Next

Transcript under the cut.

WOMAN 1 | ...for real, I've been like, completely obsessed. WOMAN 1 | Like, there was hardly any wedding coverage for Jacques and Vivi, right? And that was my first royal wedding! I thought it was normal! I didn't know I was missing out. WOMAN 2 | Right? It feels like everyone's been saving up all their hype. WOMAN 1 | Has anyone else been following the dress rumors? WOMAN 2 | [ sighs ] I just hope Emily's dress isn't as boring as Vivi's was. WOMAN 2 | Vivi's whole wardrobe is boring! She dresses like a toddler, it is so unflattering. WOMAN 1 | I know, right? She should ask Lady Em to take her shopping. WOMAN 3 | Lady Emily is soooo gorgeous. WOMAN 2 | She's too good for him. He's always been such a scrub. WOMAN 1 | Whatever! I'm just glad it's a real love story, not just a shotgun wedding. An office romance... [ dreamy sigh ] Like, it could have been me! THEO | [ scoffs ] [ The conversation died immediately, and the silence solidified into something like hostility. Theo turned to see five pale, contemptuous faces fixed on her back, and her heart jumped up into her throat. Fighting to keep her expression neutral and her voice even, she stood and announced to no one that she was going to lunch. They pretended not to hear her. ] WOMAN 1 | ...she is such a stuck-up b-word. WOMAN 2 | Did you know that she used to date Prince Frederick? WOMAN 1 | Oh my god. Her? WOMAN 2 | Yeah. That's how she got hired here after she got disbarred or whatever. WOMAN 3 | Yeah. And her mom dated the King before he married the Queen. WOMAN 1 | Oh my god. She's a second-generation royal girlfriend? Gross. WOMAN 2 | D'you think her daughter will actually land a prince? WOMAN 3 | Why not? [ giggles ] Third time's the charm! [ Even in the warmer months, the gardens at Yew Court Palace stood empty. In February, the fountains were dry and the ivy dormant. Fat crows stirred in the bare branches overhead. Somewhere nearby, muffled by hedges, came the low hum of passing traffic. ] [ It was a food place to be alone. ]

THEO: I am going to kill myself or my coworkers, havent decided yet FREDDY: Nooooo dont do that FREDDY: Id have noone to text if you were dead THEO: Aw, no friends? FREDDY: Nope :( THEO: Pobrecito FREDDY: O baby. Talk dirty to me THEO: Lmao THEO: For real though THEO: Gonna kill my coworkers THEO: Or myself FREDDY: What did they do this time THEO: They are just openly talking shit about me now THEO: IN FRONT OF ME FREDDY: Wtf???????? FREDDY: Want me to have them fired lol THEO: I can fight my own battles tyvm FREDDY: Whats your battle plan? Stapler in jello? Sign them up for boner pill emails? THEO: Find a new job and leave them here to choke on their own incompetence FREDDY: Love when you talk about choking :heart_eyes: THEO: LMAO perv FREDDY: Cant help myself lol FREDDY: Anyway…sorry about your terrible job. Mine kinda sucks rn too THEO: Isn’t your job rn wedding planning?? FREDDY: But it’s not it’s actually mediating between my mom and Emily THEO: Do they not get along? FREDDY: No they get along fine but it’s like. FREDDY: My mom clearly has Ideas (tm) about how the wedding should be and em clearly wants something completely diferent and it is just constant FREDDY: Theyre killing meeeeeee THEO: That sucks. Are you at least getting your own ideas in too? FREDDY: Not really…altho tbf if i was getting my way it’d be like. Courthouse wedding. In and out. THEO: My parents got married at city hall FREDDY: Dreams really do come true THEO: They sure do THEO: Okay this is going to sound weird but...I felt like the wedding plans didn’t really seem like you THEO: if that makes sense? THEO: Like I get that you're a prince but a huge formal wedding isn't your vibe at alllll FREDDY: You know me…my kind of party involves a lot more helicopters and blow THEO: LMAO I thought there was just the one helicopter FREDDY: See this is why we’re friends lol FREDDY: You keep me honest

[ soft knocking ] EMILY | Frederick? Are you okay in there? FREDERICK | [ muffled ] Be right out! EMILY | Are you alright? You were gone a while... FREDERICK | Aw, did you miss me? EMILY | Just making sure you didn't fall in.

[blue-disco-lights]

✨ Weekly Tag Wednesdays ✨

Thank you! @mybrainismelted @energievie @deedala @lingy910y for tagging me in this 💕 I like all of these questions!

Name:  Julia

Location: By an open window as we are having an October heat wave

Did you collect anything as a child? Stickers! There was a whole era (80s kids you will recall) that stickers were all the rage and there were themed books where you could collect them. I still kind of have a thing for them.

Do you collect anything now? I promised myself i never would - but yes, i get fridge magnets when I visit a new city.

What random piece of office equipment do you have a weird attachment to? This made me thing of when Jim put Dwight’s stapler in jello. Otherwise, let’s give it up to the 3-hole punch, you must feel so neglected.

Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.  Right arm - the dining room chair next to the one im sitting on. Left arm - my insulated coffee cup, from which I will be drinking for the next 2 hours.

Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?  OK wow you’ve read my mind I’ve always wanted to tell you this story. I love driving. In college, I was on my way to visit a friend’s dorm in another city, and I (very lightly!) crashed into the car in front of me……. while listening to “Crash” by Dave Matthews Band.

You’ve been given $1000 but you can only spend it at one store. which store do you choose?  Spend it on stickers! JK… quite possibly Uniqlo for a full closet of Fall basics. (but the answer is probably Target or Amazon)

What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?  My self-deprecating humor? 

What's your go-to flavor for cough drops?  Honey - but then Cherry

What does your latest text message from someone else say? “It’s also a new moon today 🌝”

What are your preferred pizza toppings? It sounds so fancy, but Trader Joe’s has this Mushroom & Black Truffle one that’s so good.

If you wish to play! 🪄 otherwise, sending you all a sweet treat @palepinkgoat @jrooc @sgtmickeyslaughter @michellemisfit @suzy-queued

@francesrose3 @creepkinginc @ian-galagher @echotrees @thisdivorce

@em-harlsnow @doshiart @spoonfulstar @spookygingerr @gallapiech

@transmurderbug @mmmichyyy @silvanshadow @sam-loves-seb @samantitheos

@tsuga-of-mars @takeyourpillsbitchh @heymrspatel @gallawitchxx @crossmydna

@wehangout @i-think-you-mean-reduction @sickness-health-all-that-shit @catgrassplantdad @atthedugouts

[kimberlyeab]

i've been informed that the Affini with Human Florets are essentially weebs for humanity, so the worst ideas came to my brain

The human looked into the camera. "I mean, I'm glad that some of the Affini are taking an interest in our culture. Still, I think these LARPs are lowkey kind of weird."

---

The Affini stood up from her desk. "MICHAEL! MICHAEL!"

Another Affini poked her head out of a neighbouring office. "What is it Dwight?"

"Jim put my stapler in jello," the first Affini stated, thrusting her finger towards the perturbed human.

---

The human shrugged at the camera. "My name's not even Jim but I guess it's better than having my personality overwritten?"

[alexzpaintings]

The Office available flash (Stapler in jello sold) / IG / based in Katowice, Poland

Booking through IG or ozajfert@gmail.com

[serenefreakgeekao3]

The Office of Chocolate and Pining... Masterlist

Jim Halpert x GN!Reader

Description: 

Dunder Mifflin, Scranton branch is getting its own documentary crew. Why? Who knows, but Y/N certainly doesn't think it'll turn into anything interesting. The rest of the office disagrees. A film about how ‘a typical paper office runs their business' quickly turns into an office romance drama, and things heat up rather quickly when the cameras are around.

Y/N's year anniversary of getting their receptionist job is coming soon- along with Pam's wedding just a month afterwards. With pranks, office meetings, and arguments abound, no one can predict what will happen. Though, Jim has a weird feeling that things might change soon, and he's not sure if it has anything to do with his actual job.

(This will include multiple mentions and callbacks to the actual show- but not in order! I’m also not quoting word-for-word from the episodes, so this will be all ‘new’ content!)

Tags: Gender Neutral reader (they/them), First person POV, Fic Rewrite, Chocolate loving reader, Nerdy Jim Halpert (because I said so), Flirty Pam, Jello stapler prank, Pining, Mutual pining, the reader is a fanfic author because this totally isn't just a self-insert or anything, Pam is a good guy still, Oblivious Jim Halpert, Sort of asshat Roy, Michael is Up To Something, 

Warnings: canon compliant cheating (if you count Pam flirting while engaged), mentions of a concussion (brief), Confrontation, Intrusive thoughts (minor), 

Words: TBD

Key: [ ֎” ] before a scene means that it’s an interview, typical use of Y/N (your name) Y/L/N (your last name) and Y/N/N (your nickname), ‘—‘ is a pause in the scene which will be continued following a second ‘—‘, 

TABLE OF CONTENTS:

PART ONE (rewrite)

PART TWO (rewrite)

PART THREE... coming soon

[thehatchettownchronicles]

Max! Dan and Donna are at Pasqualli's together! That's your territory!

You should go beat up the news anchors

That’s MY territory for sure. But they aren’t nerdy prudes, so I’ll allow it for now. Besides, I’m totally putting Dan’s stapler in jello.

[thatbendyfan]

im gonna put your stapler in jello

fucked up side of the stationery community

[teammagma-confessions]

someone has encased our stapler in jello! i do not understand why! great arc above i hate it here!

.