#stand up for abused people

[marshbevvie]

tired of men in my life trying to scare me and make me weaker than i am.. so here goes

just as i take back “bevvie” i take back this.

*to the tune of dove cameron boyfriend*

I could be a better clown than him

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Burning Rotten Bridges

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[padfootastic]

can’t help but think of how, if we choose to go by sirius’ characterisation as a private, arrogant teen who only lets a select few into his circle, sirius’ post-azkaban life just have been such an utterly humiliating experience for him.

especially OoTP. when he has all these near strangers in his childhood house, that he hated and loved and ran away from and couldn’t ever escape. if he spent his entire pre-azkaban existence building a cold and aloof persona, not letting people know what his home life had been like, then to have all of these people get a front row seat to it because of kreacher and portrait walburga’s shenanigans must have been near unbearable. to have the entire order, including snape whom he disliked and mistrusted, hear the kinds of names he’s being called.

not only does he have to deal with the retraumatisation of his childhood, but also the fact that he’s flayed open for everyone to see. it’s not only his freedom, innocence, dignity that has been snatched from him but his privacy also. it’s such a cruel thing to experience, on top of everything else.

to have literal children, his godson who he has been kept away from all this while, whom he presumably wants to be able to look up to him, to have him see into the deepest parts of his soul. to have to be so weak in front of him. not only is he subjected to such vileness but he also cannot do anything about it.

sirius has not had a moment of peace in all the time we knew him. it is indignity upon indignity that is heaped onto him. every other character has gotten a moment of respite but him. it fully breaks my heart.

[marshbevvie]

Go, RIKKI! Tell it like it is!

Yeah screw abusers. And always remember to stand up with survivors and for yourself!

Hey guys, Rikki here. This is a more serious post, so here’s a TW for SA and mentions of r*pe. I’m just sharing something saw that I truly agreed with. And yeah, I’m gonna talk about it.

Yeah, I’m a mermaid, and sharks have NEVER given me shit, ever. And men do, all the time. My name isn’t freaking “baby” or “sweetheart”, and no, I don’t care what I’m wearing or what I look like, there is no excuse for you to shame and verbally harass women or feminine-presenting people just because you can’t control yourself. Women still have to worry about being catcalled by men they don’t know, and men they do know. It’s not just men doing the catcalling and inappropriate touching and the rape (blah blah also not all men, we KNOW it’s not all men- but it’s enough men to terrorize women, other men, and non-binary people and make us scared of sexual assault)— women themselves can be rapists, and the idea that anyone has to live in fear of rape is honestly really depressing. It’s 2025 now, so never forget to uplift sexual assault survivors as much as you can. It may sound impossible to leave rape and SA in 2024, but we should at least try, since nobody should ever have to be afraid of such things and nobody should think it’s okay to assault someone.

I’m here to talk if anyone ever needs any help, but always remember to talk to a trusted adult or professional if any of this stuff happens to you or someone you know. Rikki out.

[six-legged-sea-leopard]

no i am not over how one of the first things kris does of their own accord without our input is to lay down their life for this weird ipad kid they met five hours ago no i am not over "hell yeah i am here to humiliate you fucker" no i am not over "did you miss me? because i missed you!" no i am not over how much not only susie but also kris (and ralsei) genuinely care about their new adopted little cousin guy and the fact that he went from having no friends at all to 3 ride or die bffs who were willing to do what every adult in his life failed to do which is stand up for him i-

[seagreenstardust]

Anyone still calling late game Katsuki an abuser in 2024 is just not paying attention. Full stop.

[citrusai]

weekes saying all that mythal shit is up to interpretation is so weird to me because instead of worrying about leaving all of solas' past up to vague interpretation to (new) players because you're too chickenshit to stand by your established lore you could've focused on ghilan'nain and elgar'nan and who they were and what they became. elgar'nan literally let the other evanuris slay his wife and he watched on, and then he rotted in a prison made by what he referred to as his wife's "lapdog" and second in command general. and what of ghilan'nain? what is their relationship? why is it just the two of them in that prison when there were more evanuris trapped in there? why are they simultaneously this omnipotent threat capable of spawning blight at will but also two dimensional villains chasing their own tails half the game while solas just poses and speaks in his riddles in the fade. also a fragment of mythal is inside of morrigan, does no part of her gaf that her husband is literally terrorizing the world she loves? hello??

[ingravinoveritas]

(CW: Mention of child abuse.)

I don't know why I'm writing about this. But it's gnawing at me, and the words want to be written, so here we are.

When I was a kid, my father used to hit me. I never really thought of it as abuse--it was just "how things were" and "his way of disciplining me." Nor did I have any ability to stand up to him, certainly not at 10, 11, 12 years old. Yet as an adult, it's not the hitting that I remember as prominently as the verbal/emotional abuse.

The thing is, bruises fade. Red marks in the shape of handprints become a distant memory. But it was the words he said to me that slid themselves beneath my skin. Letting me know one way or another that I wasn't good enough. That I was failing or disappointing him somehow, whether because of the way I navigated sensory sensitivities while eating dinner or the executive functioning issues that hindered me from getting my homework done when he thought I should. The comparisons to my other female classmates who were prettier, more popular.

It happened gradually. Little comments made over time. Comments he thought were actually helpful or "teasing," rather than harmful. And it ground me into nothingness. To a powdered, broken form of who I should have been.

After thirty years, I learned how to stand up to him. Thirty years later, adult me has a voice, confidence, and the willingness to speak up. And even though my relationship with my dad is light years better than it was, and we are now incredibly close, there are still moments. Moments where he says something, and suddenly I'm 10 years old again and feeling as small as I did then. All too often, it is the person closest to you--the person who is supposed to love you--who can make you feel that way more than anyone else.

To this day, I can't hear someone yelling angrily at someone else without starting to shut down. Because the feeling of it happening so often as a child is permanently etched into my muscle memory. I've accomplished many things and found my way in the world, but the my father's words are the foundation on which Amy was built, and the effects of that will last a lifetime.

The reverberations are still echoing. And when I hear and see them so clearly in others, I have a visceral response. A pang of uncontrolled empathy so deep in the pit of my soul that it hurts.

That is why I speak up. Because no one should ever have to go through that. And if just one person says something, maybe no one will again.

[littlefankingdom]

~ Batman: No Man's Land

I have a love/hate relationship with this moment.

Hate, well, because you can witness right here how toxic masculinity impacts comics' writing, as you just witness abuse that is not painted as abuse. Talia slapping Bruce here is not meant to be seen as abusive, you can see it in how it is written, it is just a woman slapping her man because, well "a woman cannot hurt a man, because men are so much more strong than woman". This is an recurring issue in Batman's comics, to have him endure things that would be considered abuse or sexual assault if he had been a woman, but because he is a strong man, it's not for the narration.

It kills me, because I know that many people today would still not consider it abuse for Bruce to get slapped by one of his female love interests because he told her to leave his room (that she entered without his consent, btw). Like, I can hear the people being like "she's a queen, he shouldn't talk to her like that" and it makes me sick. But here, it's even worse, because Bruce is already is an awful state, he even spills blood as she slapped him, and yet, nobody who wrote that, draw that, validated that, went "Hey, that's kind of fucked up". Especially because it is the opening of a "romantic" scene, where they both show they love each others deeply! Nah, they probably went "that's fucked up, but they're both fucked up so it's okay." THAT'S ABUSE, them being weirdos don't change that it's abuse.

Anyway, love because, well, Talia learned about what happened in Gotham and that Bruce left, and she ran to him, to see how he is doing. She loves that man, and if he is turning away from Gotham, she wants him to come with her, for them to be finally together. But also because she loves him, she refuses to let him give up LIKE THIS. To have him loathe himself. She cannot stand seeing him hating himself and letting himself be miserable. That's not the man she fell in love with, however, she states she will stay with him regardless. She helps him stand up again, physically by taking care of his wound, and mentally by her speech. After that, Bruce will go back to Gotham as Batman, determined to save his city and his people, and that's all thanks to Talia.

And Bruce, he loves Talia too, but he made an oath to Gotham, to protect her. And that oath, Gotham, it prioritizes over his love life. If it wasn't for Gotham, he would be with her, that's what he is telling her. But they both know that he cannot be himself if he isn't protecting his city.

[greenfiend]

Just FYI.

If you send a mean spirited ask implying things about me in bad faith I won't acknowledge you. Instant block. Please do something better with your time and reflect on why you're perceiving others so negatively.

[marshbevvie]

derry’s best pink punk rocker

It’s me. I’m Derry’s best pink punk rocker, cuz girls feel free to have an all-boy friend group. Girls feel free to fight back against your abusers. Girls feel free to get a cute poet boyfriend while still being independent in the ways that matter. Girls feel free to stab demons in the eye. Girls feel free to wear whatever you want. Girls feel free to chase your dreams like I do.

[dranka]

U guys know that it's not necessary to debate which side 'did more good' and 'did more bad' or even who is '''right'''

The key difference is that Light can do the same level of vile shit - can scheme, be driven by rage and vengeance, be destructive, but go down as glorified selfless saviors and the Dark King gets labeled the single source of evil

[femme-dor]

Sometimes avant-garde art films with themes you’re supposed to figure out on your own aren’t actually “bad” & you’re just upset America Ferrera didn’t stand up in the middle of it to explain what the movie is about.

[transmascutena]

Good evening (or morning, depending on your timezone).

Absolutely no hate, but I want to ask how you reconcile your enjoyment of the show with the reality of what Ikuhara has (most likely) done?/gen

I understand Death of the Author, but what drew me to Utena in the first place was its theme of critiquing the patriarchy and calling out abuse, which feels somewhat hypocritical now. I resonate with this show, and many of Ikuhara's other shows, on a personal level, which is why I am especially disappointed with the accusations since I now have to wonder how that reflects onto me as a person...?

Obviously I don't know you personally, but you seem to spend a lot of time and care on your analyses (which are great btw) so have you also struggled with this?

Again, there is like zero judgement when I say this and I'm absolutely not trying to come off as hostile (in case that is how this reads). And, there is no pressure on you to answer this and I'll completely understand if you want to ignore the ask.

Thanks.

hi, i've been thinking about this as well since yesterday, and it is kind of tough to figure out how to feel about. i think it's important to remember that ikuhara did not make revolutionary girl utena alone, for one. he had a whole team of writers and animators and producers and so on, that it would not exist without. obviously ikuhara played a big part in the show's creation, but far from the only one (if it was, i have no doubt it would be very very different), and . idk what my point really is here but i don't think his actions reflect on the show as a whole. it still is what it is, it still says the same important things about our society's systems of abuse that we've always talked about, even if the director didn't understand it or didn't want to understand it or however you want to put it. and by extension i don't think it reflects on to all the people who have enjoyed the show, who have seen their experiences in it, who have learned from it more about how this kind of abuse works and so on. and i think we need to be aware of what has (allegedly, but again, i believe it) happened, but i don't necessarily think we need to write off the show just because he had a hand in making it. because it is just as important as we've always known it to be, you know? though i think there are (as there has always been and there always is in anything) elements of the show to be critical of, and maybe some new things as well in light of this. i'll have to think about it more.

[billdenbrough]

fundamentally disinterested in the recurring discourse about kevin's drinking that aims to a) make it his Specific Problem To Focus On And Overcome when it is a crutch and coping mechanism to get him through a Much Bigger Problem (emotional fallout he can't square with by himself, culture shock, trauma, loss of his extremely wildly co-dependent relationship w riko, losing the structure of the nest, mourning a future he was meant to have, processing a grave injustice, anger and fear and desperate grief, all of which is his Actual Specific Fox Problem) while he builds himself back up, and b) thinks that even if it is a problem (more on that later), it's the foxes' problem to deal with.

like. it's just not.

yeah, he doesn't drink until he meets them. they gave him that habit, and in traditional terms, they're (the monsters specifically) a 'bad influence'. but these are the foxes. this is kevin day, son of exy, whose meteor is crashing spectacularly through no fault of his own. there are no traditional terms to be found here. the framework for it literally doesn't exist. neil comes into the foxes with more conventional expectations—appalled at the athletes' substance use, his horror at matt's trip to columbia, his steadfast and early repeated stance that none of the foxes should let andrew treat them the way he does, and certainly not nicky—and tends to engage with them less as the series goes on and he folds himself into the foxes. the thing about the foxes is that they've all been in pits deeper than they are tall. and some of them got a helping hand on the way—erik, andrew's extreme intervention methods, stephanie walker—and wymack was always waiting for them on the other side, ready to throw down a rope, but all the foxes dragged themselves out of their own holes. often not alone, often not without assistance, but at the end of the day, they have to do it.

there's that line neil has about aaron in that scene that got deleted when the timeline shifted around, when he thinks about how aaron got this far in life on his own, surviving on willpower and sheer desperation. that applies to aaron in a way that's a little more acute than some of the rest of them—boy who doesn't let the foxes in bc of andrew, boy who doesn't let nicky in bc he doesn't know how, boy made of flinching and seeking an escape and grieving the one who hurt him—but is broadly true for the foxes en masse.

this isn't to say the foxes can't help each other, but it's not their job. it just isn't. they'll keep kevin alive, keep him safe, keep him flanked and contained within their ranks. they'll fight tooth and nail in this battle with him, fight to get him to that championship game, fight to get that trophy in his hands. but that's all they've agreed to. that's all they're responsible for, in this covenant they've made with him. he says they can make this happen, and they're going to get him to that final game, but it's up to him what state he's in when he gets there.

like. they're foxes. they've been triaging their whole lives. they hate each other and they hate everyone else more. they're the kids with their backs up against the wall. half of them are addicts. i don't think kevin is comparable, personally; he's getting through a horrific situation with a coping mechanism. that's not the same thing as battling yourself to stop using. but that's not really the point of this. what i'm getting at here is that to the foxes, it's easy math: kevin who can lean on vodka and andrew and wymack and the foxes to stay upright when he's not ready to stand on his own two feet is still a kevin who is standing. a kevin with one less piece of scaffolding to lean on is a kevin who falls over, a kevin at risk of complete collapse, a kevin one phone call away from running back to the master, a kevin one crucial loss away from not ever making it back to himself at all. they're triaging. this is low on the totem pole of things they have the room to care about. they very much have bigger problems, both individually and even just kevin-related. if alcohol makes seeing the boy he knew best in the world and moved in tandem with his whole life and who destroyed their entire legacy and his entire life in one move — if alcohol makes facing that boy easier to stomach, then, fuck, why would they take that away? they're foxes. they've all got their demons. this is what kevin needs this year and a half to let him face his, that's all. they can understand that. it doesn't have to be pretty, as long as it keeps him in the fight. that's the priority.

i think there's absolutely space to explore this in fic and art and fandom in a way that maybe does explore it as a Problem, both that it's an active problem for kevin & that it's something to explore other foxes helping him with (there's a t&n fic that i've been gnawing at the bit to read for months that seems poised to explore this premise, and that's super up my alley)! i just think we're in different territory when we're talking about the series—and its characters and dynamics—in a conversational rather than transformational way, and end up talking about this like the foxes are responsible for kevin's choices. i love kevin day. i read these back at the start of 2015 & he's so dear to me that loving him was the blueprint for how i feel abt kageyama. but it's been pretty weird to see how the conversation has been translating Loving Kevin Day into... thinking the foxes are doing wrong by him with respect to this in actual canon. like that's just not how it operates there

[the-meme-monarch]

i was telling my sibling about the Would Hannibal Eat Them poll mini essays i was doing and it became “people gotta lay off mr suzuki man. him and yamada are friends. they were acting. why would suzuki even be responsible for yamada’s paycheck when they’re coworkers. suzuki isn’t his boss. and again it was An Act” which devolved into “people Really hate goro when julie was the primary abuser in their relationship” and like man i Hate to be number 1 goro defender but like. like you honor he Did do that. but so did she. and then “bro i fucking hate policeman”