#stan my man i better see you in the game so i can pull this shit again

[mc-tummy-blur]

Had this video in my drafts, so I'm sharing it now in honor of Road 96 Mile: 0 coming out tomorrow

I better be able to commit acts of violence like this in the new game

[hellofears]

wasn't me no one in this home of mine voted for anything of the sort and most likely anyone I know didn't either. I forget how many ppl live in the uk sometimes peace and love to the william wanters well and truly

[cosmicdahlias]

You Know What You Do To Me

a ford x reader fic

MINORS DNI

You work as Ford’s assistant, you’ve been teasing him by acting like a little harlot. You went too far and now you’re going to be punished for it.

warnings: smut, oral, mdom

i’ve really enjoyed writing these fics! it’s been so long since i’ve been passionate about something like this 😭

It was another afternoon working at the Mystery Shack. You were dusting shelves, thinking about later tonight. You had two jobs, by day you sold overpriced knickknacks for your boss, local con artist Stan Pines, and by night you worked for his brother, Stanford. Before he even came back through the portal you were a big fan of his work, Dipper regularly lent you the journals during your breaks. You pored over the material, longing to meet the author.

When you met him it was a typical day, typical as things get in Gravity Falls. You were helping Soos fix up the place after the town had turned upside down, he filled you in on the cause. A portal, Stan had a brother who had been missing for 30 years, and more importantly this brother was the mysterious author you so desperately wanted to meet.

You were in the process of nailing a shelf back to the wall when you heard a door open behind you. You turned to see a man who looked nearly identical to Stan, but better posture, and somehow… cooler. You knew instantly this must be the man behind the journals. Your heart skipped a beat, not just from the excitement of finally getting to see the author, but because you couldn’t get over how handsome he was.

He looked at you and you felt yourself turn into a puddle. You could’ve sworn you saw his cheeks flush slightly, but convinced yourself you were seeing things.

“OH MY GOD THE AUTHOR IS LOOKING RIGHT AT ME!!! BE COOL!!! BE COOL!!!” You thought rapidly.

He made his way over to you and extended a hand to you, six fingers, the symbol on the journal’s cover made so much sense.

“Stanford Pines, you must be one of Stanley’s employees.”

“Y/n. You’re… the author of the journals.”

“You’ve read my journals?”

There it was again, the faintest tint of red on his cheeks.

“Yeah, multiple times. Your nephew lends them to me sometimes. I’ve always been into the weird and paranormal.”

“Well it’s always a pleasure to find someone who appreciates my life’s work.”

-

In the weeks that followed Ford would ask you to become his assistant. He insisted he was getting too old to do these things on his own. You loved working with him, unraveling the mysteries of this town. It gave you a sense of purpose.

The tension between you two was more than palpable, but neither of you had been willing to admit it to each other yet. Your time together was filled with stolen glances and flushed cheeks.

As you finished dusting a snow globe your mind wandered to your mentor. You had been pushing the limits lately, trying to get his attention. You wore more and more revealing clothes, you would drop your pen just to have an excuse to bend over in front of him, you would find reasons to stand close to him. You could tell it was driving him crazy, he would awkwardly excuse himself and disappear for ten to fifteen minutes, returning breathless.

But you started to think yesterday might have gone too far. You were sitting to the right of him as he was writing in his research notes, you pulled up your skirt slightly, slipping a hand down to your-

“Y/n, can we talk?”

You jumped, Ford had a habit of moving silently. A valuable skill when you’ve spent the last 30 years in other dimensions constantly staring death in the face.

You let your heart rate settle. “Yeah, sure.”

“Good, follow me.” He motioned you with his hand.

You both walked down the stairs to the basement where his lab resided, he turned to face you.

“Look, y/n, I know what you’ve been doing.”

You turned scarlet. You decided to feign ignorance.

“What do you mean?”

He exhaled a deep breath, massaging his temples. “Don’t play this game with me, you know exactly what you’re doing to me. Wearing shorter and shorter skirts, giving me bedroom eyes, finding any reason to bend over in front of me, and then yesterday-” he paused “yesterday you went out of your way to drive me crazy. You sat next to me, hiking up your skirt and you-“

He drew a shuddering breath, stepping awfully close, his chest almost touching yours “teased your clit over your panties, knowing full well you were in my peripherals. And you did that on purpose, stopping whenever I looked your way just to torture me, not letting me savor such a gorgeous view. I thought about you all night, I came with your name leaving my lips. And now-“ he pulled out a chair “you’re going to sit in front of me and touch yourself.”

“Ford-“

“No, you were so eager to do it yesterday, what’s stopping you now?”

You felt yourself grow wet under his words, you sat yourself down in front of him.

“Take off your panties, go ahead, take them off.”

You slipped the fabric down your legs and off your ankles letting them drop to the floor in front of you.

“Spread your legs, let me see you. Pull that skirt up.”

You obeyed his instructions.

“Now, slip a finger in your cunt and use your wetness to stroke your clit.”

You let your finger travel down to your dripping pussy, you traced little circles on your clit. You let out a sigh, Ford was watching you touch yourself, you had dreamed of this.

A growl rumbled in his throat, he watched you hungrily. His cock strained in his pants, he wanted to touch himself, but he couldn’t, not yet. You moaned softly, your brow furrowing in concentration.

“Faster, don’t stop.”

You picked up your pace, rubbing frantically, your moans growing louder, echoing through the lab. You hoped no one upstairs could hear you.

“Tell me how it feels.” He demanded.

“Mmmh, Ford, it feels so good.” You whimpered.

“That’s right, I know it does.”

He stepped close to you, a hand on the back of the chair, looking straight at you. You could smell him, fresh pine and leather. Your breathing became shallow and erratic, you were getting close. Ford could sense it.

“Are you going to cum?”

“Y- yes.”

“Good, look at me.”

You locked eyes with him, he stared at you intently. The feeling on your clit was becoming overwhelming, you were going to cum, dear god you were going to cum for him.

“Nhhh, ah hah, Ford.” You pathetically whimpered out, you couldn’t form a real sentence if you tried.

You felt yourself right on the edge, god you loved this, you loved putting on a show for him, you gritted your teeth in anticipation.

“Stop.”

“Wh- what?”

“You heard me, stop touching yourself.”

You withdrew your hand, your orgasm ruined.

“Why did you- I don’t understand.”

“You’ve been teasing me for weeks, with yesterday being the final straw. Now you’re going to see how it feels. Actions have consequences and you’re going to learn that. You don’t get to cum.”

He pulled you up by your arm, he grabbed your face and kissed you sloppily in pure hunger and desire. He let you go and dropped his hands to his belt buckle, undoing it.

“You need to see what you’re doing to me.”

He slipped his pants down enough to reveal his thick, hard cock. Fuck, he’s big. You bit your lip instinctively.

“Stroke my cock, now.”

You wrapped your hand around his shaft, your thumb massaging the head. He let out a groan of approval and you began pumping his cock. He started kissing and sucking on your neck, he was going to mark you so everyone knew you were his property. He started to buck into your hand, a bead of precum forming at the head. He throbbed, moaning into your neck.

He took your face in his hands again, god you loved when he looked at you.

“Get on your knees and take my cock in your mouth.”

“Yes sir.”

He throbbed at “sir” no one had ever called him that, he liked it. He made a mental note to encourage you to keep saying it.

You dropped to your knees and took his full length in your mouth.

“Fuuuck baby you’re so good at this, no one’s ever taken me all the way down before.”

He grabbed a fistful of hair and began fucking your mouth aggressively. You choked and pulled back. He chuckled.

“Oh poor baby, guess I spoke too soon, I’m sorry sometimes I forget how hard it is to handle a cock like mine.” He taunted while stroking your chin with his thumb. “I’ll try to slow down, it helps if you make an effort to breathe out of your nose.”

He resumed face fucking you, this time with a slightly more gentle rhythm, but you still felt the inclination to gag. You attempted to steadily breathe out of your nose and felt the urge subside. He clenched his jaw and picked up his pace again, you were really struggling to take him, he liked it that way.

His hips stuttered and bucked against your mouth. He could feel his orgasm rising.

“Baby slow down, slow down you’re gonna make me cum.”

You decided to ignore him, continuing to work your mouth on his cock.

“Stopstopstopstop. Stop!” He growled.

He seized your hair and pulled you off of his cock, knocking you backward. He reached out a hand and pulled you to your feet, then raised a hand and brought it down hard on your ass.

“You need to listen to me, next time I won’t be so nice.”

You savored the idea of being left with a six fingered welt. He lowered his hands to your hips and spun you around. He pressed himself against your back, his hard cock throbbing on your ass. His hand gripped your throat and he whispered in your ear.

“I’m going to fuck you senseless until I finish inside of you and you’re not going to cum, do you understand?”

You nodded fervently.

“Good, you’re so cute when you listen.” He said while slipping his thumb in your mouth.

He bent you over his desk, papers falling to the floor, one hand gripping your shoulder, the other on your hip. He pressed the tip of his cock into you before forcing the rest of his length inside of you. You started to scream out in pleasure, but Ford instinctively clasped a hand over your mouth.

He slapped your ass again. “Quiet, stardust, do you want everyone to hear you?”

He began to pump his cock inside of you, his hips slapping against your ass. You tightened around him and he groaned loudly.

“God I love the way your pussy squeezes my cock, it’s so fucking perfect.” He panted between thrusts.

He fucked you with a brutal intensity. He was doing this for his own pleasure, not yours. Like he said, you didn’t get to cum, not after what you had done yesterday. He pulled out and you whined, paused for effect and slammed himself back in. You threw your head back, moaning his name.

It felt so goddam good to finally fuck you like this after all the moments he had to steal himself away from his work to just to stroke his cock because you were incessantly teasing him. He had imagined you bent over his desk like this thousands of times. The image of you taking his cock like a good little whore was all the could picture whenever he caught you staring at him.

His grip on your shoulder and hip tightened, nails digging into your flesh. He was fucking you faster and faster, he wanted so badly to know what cumming in you felt like. You started to move your hips back onto him. Oh my god he couldn’t believe you wanted him this badly.

“Goddammit yes baby fuck back on my cock like that, you’re gonna make me fucking cum.”

You whimpered in approval.

“Would you like that stardust? Huh? Do you want me to cum inside of you?”

All you could manage was a weak “Uh huh.”

He panted like a dog, he was gonna breed you like one. Sweat began go form on his forehead, his glasses fogging.

“You don’t know how badly I’ve wanted this, wanted you. When I first met you I thought you were so fucking beautiful. I spent that night stroking myself to the cute Mystery Shack employee. I thought it was just a lonely old man’s fantasy that you would ever show me any interest, but then you started working for me and you would look at me with those eyes. God those eyes, so full of lust and want.”

You felt his cock throb inside you, he was close.

“I’m going to fill you up, have you dripping with my cum. Tell me you want it, I want to hear you beg.”

“Please, I need your cum in me. I need it so bad.”

“Call me sir.”

“Ahhh, hah, please sir, cum in me.”

He moaned loudly as he fucked you with a ruthless intensity. He buried himself deep in you as he came, your name escaping his lips. He didn’t stop fucking you, the feeling was overwhelming but he couldn’t help himself.

For a while there was nothing but the sounds of your heavy breaths. He began to slowly pull his cock out of you, cum spilling onto the floor. Jesus fucking christ he needed to draw this later.

You stayed bent over his desk, legs shaking. He grabbed you by your waist and pulled you onto his lap as he sat in his desk chair.

“Are you alright? I didn’t take it too far, did I?” He said stroking your hair.

“N- no, it was incredible.” You said between haggard breaths.

“Good, now here’s what you’re going to do. You’re going to go upstairs and finish the rest of your shift. You are to keep your panties off and let my cum slowly drip out of you. And then later tonight you’ll stay here and I’ll reward you by letting you cum on my tongue and cock, if, and only if you heed my instructions. Do we have a deal, stardust?”

Your heart thumped wildly in your chest. Having Ford to yourself all night? Holy fucking shit yes.

“Deal.” You smiled.

“That’s my baby.” He said cupping your chin and pressing a kiss to your cheek.

-

You ascended up the creaking stairs back to work. Mind still buzzing with the moment you had just shared with Ford.

“There you are. I was startin’ to think you ditched, but then I- whoa, what happened to you, kid? You look like you’ve been hit by a bus.” Stan said in his gruff voice.

You caught your reflection in the window, your hair was a mess. You quickly attempted to fix it.

“Ah, uh, I was just helping Ford fix some stuff.”

Stan stared at you for a second before a smirk creased his lips.

“Oh yeah I bet he fixed you real good, kid.”

You turned beet red “No, that’s not what I-“

He laughed. “Look, I’m just happy you two finally hooked up. I was gettin’ real sick of watching you two ogle at each other like horny repressed teenagers. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a bet to settle with Wendy.”

“Great, Stan. Thanks for not making things awkward.”

[buckyownsmylife]

let the games begin - sebastian stan smut

The one where you ask him to explain the pepsi cup scene to you

Warnings: best friends to lovers, best friend!reader, hopelessly in love!Seb, reader has hair long enough for Seb to “play with” but do with that as you wish, innocent!reader, smut.

WC: 1.8k

A/N: this is just a sweet little smutty one-shot of best friend!Seb realizing you feel the same for him. I didn't delve deep into the smut because to be honest, this has been in my WIP list since the movie came out and I just couldn't be bothered to write more than what's here, yet I hope you'll enjoy it anyway!

Seb’s P.O.V.

“You ready for this? You know we don’t have to watch it, right?” I tried to convince her one more time, and still, she just rolled her eyes and pulled me to the sofa next to her. Oh, how I loved to feel her smaller frame tightly pressed against mine.

“Don’t be silly, of course I want to watch it. I’ve seen everything you’ve ever done, I can’t let one slightly scarring movie keep me away from this long standing tradition.” It warmed my heart to think that she’d been doing this way before we even met.

I kissed her temple before adjusting so her body would rest against my chest, and settled in for the film. I knew it would be an experience, to say the least, watching this with her, so I tried to prepare myself for anything that could happen.

She could end up traumatized and unable to look me in the eye. At the very least, it would certainly serve as ammunition for her to tease me for years to come, and that was one turn of events I could deal with. The first one was my real concern.

So I settled in to watch the movie, because I figured it would be best to be around than to wait for her reactions afterwards. What if she never wanted to see me again? I knew it was just my anxiety coming up with the worst possibilities, but it still scared the crap out of me.

I couldn’t imagine my life without her anymore. And maybe one day I’d grow the courage to tell her about it, but for now, I was perfectly happy just sitting here with her and offering some support when my character started to freak her out.

“Hey, there you are!” She giggled in excitement, pointing at the TV like I wasn’t watching it with her. It made me chuckle, seeing her act like a little kid when it came to me doing my job. God, she was precious.

“Yeah, there I am,” I agreed, leaning over her to deposit a quick kiss against her temple, but much to my surprise all I got was a nudge and a hush. “Are you shushing me?” She finally unglued her eyes from the television to look at me with disappointment all over her features.

“Seb, I love you, but if you keep interrupting the movie, I’m gonna kick you out and there’s nothing you can do about that.” I wanted to point out that if she did, she’d have to watch it by herself and there was no way she’d be able to sleep, but I didn’t want to risk her fury. So I just sat back and pulled her with me, playing with her hair as I watched the story unfold before my eyes.

For whatever reason, I seemed to forget that I looked a bit… different in my role at some point, and as I gained weight before our eyes, she turned around to look at me with a look I couldn’t figure out. It made me nervous.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” I had to ask, but she didn’t immediately answer me. I felt embarrassed, it was almost like she was comparing me to the man on the screen, and I didn’t know which one she preferred. 

Could it be that now that she’d seen me like that, she couldn’t unsee it?

“I’ve always thought you looked better when Don wasn’t trying to make you look like some sort of bodybuilder, but this role just confirmed it to me. You’re even sexier with some weight on your body.” 

My cheeks burned, and I didn’t know what to say. So I just cuddled her to me once more, focusing on the screen as I tried to work through my emotions - and there were many. Desire, barely concealed lust, something the hardening member inside my jeans wouldn’t let me forget - but also something warm and comfortable, settling deep inside my chest.

I didn’t want to give it a name. So I just pulled her to me yet again, kissed her temple and pretended to go back to watching the movie, while I waited for her attention to be redirected to it once more. When I was sure she wasn’t noticing me anymore, I got back to analyzing her reactions, chuckling under my breath at the way hers hitched at every little thing, and how she squeezed my thigh when she thought something scary would happen.

And then the car scene started. My muscles immediately froze underneath her, having completely forgotten about this particular part of the movie.

“What’s going on?” She asked, first surprised and then confused. “Is everything okay?” I couldn’t answer her. I couldn’t even look away from the screen, flinching as it developed right before my eyes. It was like my own self-made train wreck: unavoidable and paralyzing.

“Seb…” She reached out for my hand, asking for my attention, and I licked my lips and took a deep breath before turning to give it to her.

“I don’t get it, what’s going on?” I was about to tell her that I was just embarrassed, but the confusion in her eyes as they darted from the TV to my embarrassed self suddenly made sense to me.

“Wait,” I started, holding her jaw so she’d fix her eyes on mine and forget about the movie for a second. “You don’t understand the scene?” She hesitated for a second before nodding, biting her lower lip in that way she did when she was nervous.

It made the warmth inside my chest expand and take over my entire body, shooting straight to my lower belly, where it began to burn. 

Fuck. Who would have thought that she was so innocent?

“Do you want me to tell you?” The question left my lips before I could ponder if my concern came from a valid place - my desire to help her, always. 

But maybe things happened for a reason - maybe it was some sort of ungodly gift the idea of watching this movie together, because as I watched her glance over at the screen again and then lay her eyes on me, I saw it with perfect clarity:

She was aroused by it.

“Or would you like me to show you?” Another question that slipped from my lips unintentionally, another sentence I didn’t regret speaking. This… tension, it had always been here, between the both of us. I’d been too much of a coward to act on it before so if the ball was on my court now, it was time to let it roll.

“’Cause I’d be more than happy to.” With my last reassurance, the thread between us broke, and in a second, we were kissing. Who made the first move, I’d never know. All I cared about was her taste, how sweet she was, and the tiny little whimpers I could hear escaping her when I had to pull back to take a breath.

My body still acting of its own accord, I got up from the couch to take my pants off, hand immediately going to my hardness to release some of the frustration she was causing me. Thankfully, she didn’t seem scared - just hungry, looking at me with doe eyes and biting down on her lower lip before I pulled her closer so that her hand rested over mine.

“Fuck…” I whispered against her neck at the first contact of her hand on my naked dick, but for some reason that was all it took for the spell to break.

“Seb, I can’t…” She pulled away from me, chest still heaving from desire, but I felt so damn guilty I couldn’t even feel good about it. “I can’t do this and then pretend that it didn’t happen.”

Y/N’s P.O.V.

His face softened up instead of becoming angry, like I expected it would. “Come.” He got up from the couch, offering me his hand, which I took without second-guessing myself.

His eyes told me everything I needed to know.

He took me to his bed, where he kissed me deeply once again. “Don’t worry, I’ll be patient.” How could I say that I’d let him do anything to me?

Within seconds, I was naked. It was unlike any other similar experience I’d ever lived, and the way he stared at me only had me falling deeper into the cloud of comfort that only Seb could provide me.

“Spread your legs for me, honey.” I did so instinctively, also closing my eyes in nervousness at what was happening.

“Keep looking at me,” he asked, and so I reopened my eyes, finding him staring at my most private spot with hunger in his. “Fuck, you’re soaked.”

Before I could comprehend what was happening, he’d yanked me to the edge of the bed and proceeded to kneel down before me, lips kissing my inner thighs and navel while I panted softly.

“Fuck, I can’t believe that I get to taste you,” he uttered before his tongue stuck out and he did just that… He tasted me, and nothing had ever felt quite as great as that simple gesture.

“How does it feel, sweetheart?” He asked in the midst of attacking my clit with his tongue and lips, the hot muscle swirling over it and making my head spin. “Do you like this?”

“Yes, yes!” I nodded, hand flying down to hold him by the hair and keep him attached to me. “More, I want more.”

“What?” He teased me, the devious thing. “You want what?”

“More,” I insisted, pushing him down so his face would connect with my pussy once more. He didn’t keep up with his pretense and kept on licking me until I saw stars behind my closed eyelids, screaming his name for dear life.

“Kiss me,” I begged breathlessly once I was able to speak again, and he leaned over me to grant me my wish, allowing me to taste myself for the first time in my life.

“You know…” I struggled to find the courage to say what I wanted, but I knew I could trust Sebastian. “When we actually do it, you don’t need to be so gentle…”

He bit my shoulder in response, shaking his head at my antics. I thought I was dreaming, being naked in his bed, having just had the best orgasm of my life.

I wanted to do this for the rest of my life.

“I don’t want to go to sleep tonight,” I confessed, watching as the most beautiful smile opened up in my best friend’s face.

“Lucky for you, there are a ton of things we can do to pass the time.”

[moscnios]

Hi there~

I just finished reading your rules and you're a UNI STUDENT? Lmao me too, I'm majoring in English literature 🙃 yeah i know it's an old-man choice 😭 but at least I enjoy it~

So can i request a NSFW alphabet for my boy Benn?

I don't see a lot of content for him and he's sooo sooooo handsomeee and attractive.

I hope you have a nice day~

⟡    ֺ   𓂂  nsfw alphabet  ,  benn beckman.

✸     cw(s)! . . .  nsfw. gn!reader. me being a beckman stan. not proofread. minors DNI.

✸     notes! . . .  hi !! that's so cool you're majoring in english literature !! i was always interested in literature, but i could just never sit down and read or try to analyze anything. it was never my strong suit lol. so kudos to you !! thank you for requesting !! <33

!! i would also like to say that i don't really do nsfw alphabets, but i have made an exception for this one and the other one in my drafts bcuz i didn't state it earlier. PLUS i'm a beckman and shanks stan lmaooo

A — AFTERCARE. [ what they’re like after sex. ]

aftercare is truly his favorite part. he takes his time carefully getting you all cleaned up and comfortable. benn is definitely a cuddlebug :>. he loves cuddling with you after sex. there's nothing better than laying down next to you, wrapping his strong arms around you, pulling you into his chest, kissing your head, and falling into the world of dreams.

B — BODY PART. [ their favorite body part of theirs and their partner’s. ]

he hasn't thought much about himself. he doesn't even really have an answer at first. but he thinks his arms are nice. all the more strength to pick you up and throw you over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

benn loves ALL of you. don't ask him to pick a favorite part of you. he refuses to give you one answer, no matter how much you beg him. unless you start to pout, his ultimate weakness. he loves your thighs. he's a thigh and ass guy. nine times out of ten, you know he's in the mood just by how long he's touching your thighs

C — CUM. [ anything to do with cum. ]

he loves filling you to the brim with his cum, watching it slowly leak out of you only to use his thick fingers or his dick to stuff it back inside. all with a "be a good baby and hold it for me, yeah?"

D — DIRTY SECRET. [ self-explanatory. ]

nothing runs through his mind like you in a maid outfit since you wore one as punishment for losing a card game. the red-haired pirates are so damn cruel. the image has never left his head, and along with it came his dirty thoughts

the thought of you bending over to better reach a spot to dust, the short skirt of your tight uniform riding up to show off your ass. the thought of your purposely spilling something on him to get him out of his clothes. the thought of you on your knees in front of him, eagerly awaiting his next command, asking him how you may be of assistance. fuck he needs you in a maid outfit so bad

E — EXPERIENCE. [ how experience are they? do they know what they’re doing? ]

benn has been around the block many of times. he has plenty of experience. i wouldn't call him a hoe...but he's had quite a few lovers in the past. mostly one night stands. he knows what he's doing and how to pleasure you

F — FAVORITE POSITION. [ self-explanatory. ]

he's a pretty classic man. he loves the cowgirl(boy) position. there's nothing that makes him cum harder than you riding him to your heart's content. oh and please do wear a cowboy hat, treat him like cattle, call him a few names, he's putty in your hands. when he comes, put your hat over his pretty face

G — GOOFY. [ are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? ]

benn is very talkative in the bedroom. he's always talking, whether it's praising you or his favorite teasing you. hell, there are even some moments where he's so unserious. telling you about some stupid shit that happened on the red force that day, while kissing down your chest. or when he's settled deep inside of you, not moving, and will stop to have a full-on conversation. like what are you doing ??

H — HAIR. [ how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? ]

it's wild and grey. his pubes are a little wavy. he doesn't particularly care much about shaving. now if you ask him to trim up a little, he will definitely do so and will make it a habit

I — INTIMACY. [ how are they in the moment, the romantic aspect? ]

benn is a very romantic man. there is not a single time when he doesn't make you seem like the luckiest person in the world. he puts his ALL into loving and cherishing you. he takes his time with you. worshipping your body from head to toe, not missing an inch. bringing you to your high again and again, singing praises to you, how well you're doing, how much he loves you

J — JACK OFF. [ masturbation headcanon. ]

benn doesn't jack off as much as he did when he was younger. the times when he is in the mood, you are usually not too far and more than happy to help. however for the few times, you aren't around, he's sitting slouched in a chair in your shared room, his hair all over his face, he was anything but his usual calm and collected self. shallow breaths and low whispers of your name leave his lips, as he desperately tries to reach his high, imagining his hand as yours

K — KINK. [ one or more of their kinks. ]

he definitely has a praise kink. even before the two of you got together, you likely picked up on his praise kink. he loves the effect it has on you. role play, he's a freaky old man. as i said earlier, he loves the thought of you in a maid outfit, this definitely extends to other things. sexy secretary, sexy nurse, you name it. HE'S WAY INTO HIS ROLE. especially if you're taking a dominant role ?? WHEW

L — LOCATION. [ favorite places to do it. ]

he's not all that into public sex. does not want anyone else to see you, other than that one time. he prefers to keep your sexy times in the bedroom. nothing beats your bed

M — MOTIVATION. [ what turns them on, gets them going? ]

it doesn't take much to get him going. you could just wrap your arms around his waist from behind, and kiss up his shoulder, and he's all yours for the evening. or when you smack his ass and run down the hall. he swears he hates it, but who is he kidding? when he does catch up to you, you're in for it

N — NO. [ something they wouldn’t do, turn offs. ]

anything that could possibly hurt you. nope. never. nada. zilch. he can't do it. he couldn't do humiliation either. anything that is not making you feel amazing and beautiful, he's not doing

O — ORAL. [ preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc. ]

definitely a giver and is the fucking best at it. he prides himself on his ability to make you cum multiple times with his mouth alone. he could spend hours between your legs if you'd let him. hooking his strong arms around your legs, you're not going anywhere until he's had his fill. but you'll be a good baby and take it, won't you?

running your hands through his grey locks only encourages him further. your moans and breaths are a melody he'd never get tired of hearing

he does love seeing your pretty mouth wrapped around his cock. he loves when you take your time, licking up a stride up his shaft, the tip of your tongue circling the blushing red head of his tip, before slowly taking him into your mouth. eye contact the entire time !! he loves that shit

P — PACE. [ are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc. ]

benn is definitely more on the slow and sensual side. he wants you to feel him, every inch of him enter you as he fills you to the brim every time he thrusts into you. and he wants to feel all of you, as he closes his eyes and stuffs his face into your shoulder, alternating between leaving open-mouth kisses and love bites

Q — QUICKIE. [ their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc. ]

he's not a quickie guy. maybe when he was younger but quickies don't satisfy him anymore. it doesn't give him the chance to fuck you properly

R — RISK. [ are they game to experiment, do they take the risks, etc. ]

he'll experiment for you. he'll willing to try some things at least once if you'd like to try them. however, it's not likely to suggest something. he knows what he likes and what he doesn't, he's not sure that's really going to change at this point

S — STAMINA. [ how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last? ]

benn can go for a few rounds, which are not usually his plan. he usually plans for one long round. but the cuddle session after the first round a lot of the time turns into another around. he's not complaining though. give him a little smoke break and he's back at it

T — TOY. [ do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves? ]

he doesn't have a problem with toys, he just doesn't really use them. he prefers using his own equipment if you catch my drift. but he definitely doesn't mind using them on you if you asked

U — UNFAIR. [ how much they like to tease? ]

now he doesn't see it as teasing. but it's definitely teasing. his teasing is very playful. the way he just walks up to you at the poker table and whispers what he's going to do to you tonight if you win...and he expects you to sit there and be calm. you better win.

or when you sit in his lap and his large calloused hands caress your thighs, inching closer and closer to your core. he notices the way you take in a sharp breath, only to stop touching you altogether. he knows exactly what he's doing and what effect he has on you

V — VOLUME. [ how loud they are, what sounds they make. ]

benn is not quiet by any means. he's very talkative in the bedroom. always teasing you or giving you praise. he is an occasional groaner. groaning your name and swears into your ear

W — WILD CARD. [ random headcanon. ]

shanks has definitely watched you and benn fuck before. it was one time and it'll never happen again. now the captain of the red haired pirates did nothing wrong, at first. the next day, roo had asked shanks where he disappeared off to and he made a joke saying "watching the taming of a stubborn bull", earning a laugh from you. he is no longer allowed to watch

X — X-RAY. [ what’s going on under those clothes. ]

listen to me and listen to me well. definitely a shower, not a grower. 7-8 inches, slightly curved to the right and upwards. uncut. above average girth. a few veins, but there's one very prominent long vein that stretches from the underside of his dick all the way around to the top. slightly darker than the rest of his body BUT there are lighter patches of skin on and around his tip

Y — YEARNING. [ how high is their sex drive? ]

don't really see his drive being that high. definitely lower than average. but hey, he's not gonna say no to some sweet lovemaking.

Z — ZZZ. [ how quickly they fall asleep afterwards? ]

aftercare is literally his favorite part, so you bet it's going to be a while before he actually falls asleep. he has to get you all cleaned up and comfortable. finally, he pulls you in for cuddles. he waits until you're asleep before falling asleep himself

© MANGEKYUOU  —  do not copy, repost, or translate my works.

[spectralscathath]

Tour Guide to the Unexplained- A Gravity Falls Fanfiction

Chapter 5- Mystery Twins Birthday Bash

Stan and Ford didn’t expect much when getting shipped up to Gravity Falls to stay with estranged family. Not their Grunkle fleeing the cops, not a surprise party, and definitely not the Mystery Shack and their lying uncle who runs it. But with Ford’s smarts and Stan’s punching, there’s no mystery they can’t solve.

Ao3 Link

The sound of a cellphone was what heralded Dipper's latest problem. He nicked himself mid-shave by accident as his pants buzzed, fumbling the razor and knocking over half his shaving kit. It clattered as he took a breath and grabbed the phone, hitting 'answer' and tucking it into his shoulder, trying to pick everything up. "Mr Mystery of the Gravity Falls Mystery Shack, what do you want?"

"Hi, Grunkle Dipper!" A man's voice on the other end had him short-circuiting on who it was being so friendly before he realised it was A) a familiar voice, and B) calling him something only three people in the world had the right to.

"Shermie!" Dipper smiled. "How are you?"

"Great, things are great. I just wanted to call and say that I've sent something up for the twin's birthday, and I hope it arrives for tomorrow but if it doesn't just let them know it's on the way. Thirteen's a big age."

"Birthday?" Dipper repeated, smile plastered on.

"Yeah! I'll try call tomorrow too, I know mom will as well. And maybe Grandpa, just text us what would be a good time, we don't wanna intrude on anything."

"No, yeah, I'll text." Birthday. Crap. "Take care, Jupiter."

"Great! Okay, I gotta go, light's gone green. Chat later!" Shermie hung up. 

Dipper waited for a moment to see if there'd be anything else. 

Silence. 

He panic-dialled Wendy. 

"Corduroys."

"Hi Wendy it's Dipper don't hang up I need advice-" he got it all out in a rush.

"Alright. Shoot." Wendy sounded the same as always, calm and amused. 

"I have twins in my house and their birthday's tomorrow, what do I do? I've never thrown a kids birthday before- I mean, I crashed a few- but for work, not because- listen, there was this body-hopping ghost clown I was tracking-"

"Dipper, relax," Wendy laughed. "Birthdays are easy. Cake, balloons, presents, it's easy. I've done it for sixteen years with Dan, you can manage one."

"But I don't even know their favourite cake flavours! Or the best choice for balloon colours! Or what kind of presents they want! What if they want party games, scratch that- a party?"

"If they want a party, us Corduroys can show up." Wendy offered. "Dipper. Just talk to them. Ask what they want."

"But that would admit that I forgot they're thirteen tomorrow."

"They won't care, probably won't be surprised. You're kind of a disaster."

"Thank you, Wendy, really helpful."

"Anytime."

"I- Wendy-" Dipper felt the urge to apologise. Again. He didn't think he'd ever stop apologising. But that didn't fix things. "Dan's doing great, by the way."

"Yeah he is! He's a flippin' Corduroy," Wendy laughed. "Let him know the plans for tomorrow. Bye, Dipper."

"Bye." Dipper hung up and pulled out the day's to-do list, scratching out half the stuff on it and writing down 'cake, presents, balloons, party? Ask preferences'. He'd need to go into town, but he couldn't buy their presents in front of him- and there were still so many variables. He'd also need Carla to cover the tours while he wasn't here, she was a bit bubbly but the enthusiasm really got people excited to take pictures. Dan could use some register practice anyway- oh man, what was he doing?

He panic-dialled a second number. 

"This better not be a waste of time, I'm doing my makeup." 

"Heyyyyy Paz, it's Dipper."

"I know, I'm rich, I have caller ID." Pacifica huffed haughtily. "What is it this time? Mothman texted, wants to get back together?"

"Ugh, I hope not, I blocked his number. It's a children's birthday party."

"I thought you got rid of that clown ghost-"

"No, not that guy! It's for the twins, its their birthday tomorrow-"

"And you forgot," Pacifica summed up. "I had heard you had kids this summer. I was wondering how long it'd take you to crack and ask for help. You lasted two weeks, congratulations."

"Thanks, they haven't died yet." He was actually quite proud of that fact. 

"So, you mentioned a birthday party." Pacifica hummed on the other side, sounding far away for a second. Was he on speakerphone? Her and her beauty routine, he never dealt with makeup unless he had to show up somewhere as Mabel. 

"They're thirteen, it's a big one."

"Arbitrarily, but kids love to make big deals out of small things. I assume you've started a list."

"You know me," he wrote down 'make a big deal'. "I already got some information, balloons, cake, presents. Anything else?"

"Definitely don't try to handle it yourself. You'll overcomplicate it and wind yourself up into a nervous wreck until it blows up in your face." 

"I'm getting so much feedback on my personality today, it's really great." 

"Awwww, poor you." She matched his sarcasm. "Just get your old mechanic to help, he's much more of a party person than you."

"Paz, you're a genius." Of course! Maybe he could even drop the boys with Soos while he went into town to get all the supplies. 

"Obviously. That's why we tolerate each other."

"... Do you wanna bring Preston to the potential party if it ends up being a thing?" Maybe it would be good for the kid?

"We're busy." Her tone dropped below freezing point and Dipper suddenly remembered why.

"Oh- yeah. How, uh, how's the divorce going?"

"You're going to be buying me something obnoxiously foul at that disgusting biker bar you like once it's all over. I have complaints."

"Oh boy. Good luck, Paz." 

"You too, Dipper." She hung up. 

"Okay!" He looked in the mirror, the small cut on his chin dribbling a little bit of blood. "You have a plan, it's going to work great. Don't overcomplicate."

#

"So if you could both fill out those six-page questionnaires before we reach my friend's house, that would be super helpful to my shopping today."

"Grunkle Dipper, this is double-sided." Stan flicked through the sheets of paper as Dipper ushered him into the back seat of the truck.

"Aw, there's no maths questions." Ford sounded so disappointed as he leafed through his own, following his brother.

"Seatbelts on," Dipper took a big swig from his travel mug as he hopped in the front, a bandage on his chin. Fourth coffee of the day, he'd need way more to survive town. "You'll like Soos and Dolores, they're good people. Soos was my handyman before he retired and Dolores had a summer job at the shack for a few years." Cashiering like Carla.

That reminded him- "Carla! Since it's a Sunday, remember to charge double for-"

"Photos of the reverse harpy, I remember!" Carla saluted, dressed in her version of the Mr Mystery adventure outfit. 

"And remind Dan to triple-check anyone who pays in just coins! They could be scammers!"

"We've got this, go!" She shooed him off with a laugh, affixing her flower to her explorer's hat.

"Why don't we get to watch the till?" Stan asked, Ford already on his second page as his pencil flew across paper. 

"Because I need you on questionnaire duty, get answering." He really should show them how to use a till, get them some life skills with money. 

"Can I copy Ford's answers?"

"No- wait, do you do that?" He glanced at the rearview mirror as he pulled onto the road.

"Uh." Stan looked at his own questionnaire, his wrist no longer braced. "No."

"Only on some things! I don't mind," Ford defended. "He's actually really good at Spanish."

"I'm not, I got, like, a C-  on my last report card."

"Hey, I scraped a D, Ms Lopez was disappointed." Ford clearly tried to cheer his twin up, but his own tone didn't sound cheerful. It sounded brittle. Dipper remembered hating getting anything less than a B+ on his own school reports, he understood. "Guess I don't have a knack for languages."

"Languages are hard." Stan sighed. "I barely speak English good."

"'Well', Stanley," Ford corrected offhandedly. "Grammar is important."

Stan groaned and kicked the back of the passenger seat as Dipper turned on the radio, deliberately sparing them BABBA so they could focus. If the questionnaires didn't work, his Plan B was to get Dolores to do some snooping for him. 

He could absolutely make this party go well. See if he could make up for the puppet incident. The looks on their faces, because he lost control of himself, of his fear… he wasn't made of stone. He had to fix that. 

It was gonna go great. They were gonna have the best birthday ever, he could make it happen. Party Guy Dipper Pines. He had a plan, the steps were in numerical order, it had headings and sub-headings, it was gonna work perfectly. Bonus: he wouldn't even need to clone himself again. That went really bad last time, good thing he destroyed that printer and got rid of all of them.

#

Stan led Ford into the small house on the outskirts of Gravity Falls's suburbs, shocked to see their self-admitted people-hating Grunkle willing accept a hug from both the old guy in a Hawaiian top and the lady in a snazzy pink dress with poofy brown curls. 

"Dolores, Soos, these are my grandnephews," Dipper introduced, still looking as wild-eyed as when he chased them out of the Shack and into his truck. "Stanley and Stanford Pines."

"Ay, qué lindo!" Dolores looked at them adoringly, as Dipper ushered them forward. "Señor Pines, they're so cute!"

"I'm not cute!" Stan puffed up. "I'm tough!" Like a tiger. The fact that Dolores only cooed more did not make him feel better.

Dipper patted his hair and Ford's at the same time. "Yep! Adorable! I was wondering if you wouldn't mind watching them for a few hours while I do some stuff in town?"

"Si, no prob, dude, we're gonna have a great time." Soos waved a hand. "It's gonna be the bomb."

"I should have never taught you young people slang, abuelito," Dolores sighed, but she didn't look angry. 

"But it makes me so hip and trendy!" 

"Hey, Dolores, can I talk to you super quick?" Grunkle Dipper cut in, giving Ford and Stan a little shove into the house as Dolores stepped by to join him outside.

"Si, what do you want?" Dolores glanced back. "Abuelito, the cookies should be cooled, if you want to make tea?"

"You got it, Lola." Soos smiled at her and lumbered towards the kitchen, his hair white and thin. 

Stan started to double back to try and eavesdrop before Ford caught him and pulled him along. Right. Another adult was there. Getting in trouble immediately was a bad idea. Good thing he had Ford around to keep him on track.

Besides. Cookies.

The kitchen smelt amazing, Stan didn't regret following Ford as they entered, both taking a deep breath of baked goodness. It smelt like the Belgian waffle place next door to dad's pawn shop but even better. 

"You dudes like video games?" Soos asked brightly, using tongs to place cookies on plates. They looked like little round spheres. Stan took one and bit down, not expecting the jam inside. Yum!

"An old person who likes video games?" Stan mumbled through a mouthful of jam cookie and looked at Ford.

"That seems like a statistical anomaly," Ford agreed, taking a cookie himself. "Thank you, Mr Ramirez."

"Call me Soos, little dudes. Everyone does." He moved around the kitchen. "You dudes want tea?"

"Why do you say 'dudes'?" Stan asked bluntly. "It's not what old people say."

"I picked it up from my grandkids, I talk all rad like them now." Soos chuckled. His voice had a soft accent around some words, just like Ms Lopez. "I play video games with them too. Lotta good skills in those, good for the brain."

"We don't get to play them much. Consoles are expensive." Ford stated after swallowing his cookie. He didn't talk with his mouth full like Stan.

"You wanna use mine? I love playing video games with people, dawg."

Stan and Ford glanced at each other, and while Ford had done all the tests and conclusively proved they could not, in fact, read each other's mind, somehow they knew. 

They really wanted to try it out. 

#

"Okay, okay, you crazy man," Dolores laughed at Dipper. Cool. Today was going great for his ego, he wasn't bitter. "I'll find out details, now you go, do your shopping.."

"I owe you both for this. Thanks, Dolores."

"And don't worry about a cake, I'll make something better."

"You really don't have to-" the glare in her eyes cut him off. Oh boy, time to backtrack. "I surrender to your wisdom."

"Good!" She clapped her hands together with a smile. "We will also be at the party tomorrow."

"Got it." He really wasn't escaping a party, huh. "By the way- have you heard anything interesting recently?"

Dolores' eyes sparkled with the promise of gossip. "Do your shopping first and be back in time for lunch, maybe I'll tell you something."

Dipper chuckled and tipped his hat as a 'yes'. "Let me let the boys know."

He stepped inside, unable to stop a smile at the sight of Soos in his armchair, talking the kids through the basics of a racing game. He should take them to the local arcade some time, they'd probably have fun. He could also make sure he still had the top score on Space Invasioners while he was at it, he was gonna be dead in the ground before someone else took that title from him. 

"Okay, I'll be back in a few hours. You two behave, alright?" He leaned over the back of the couch.

"We will," Ford smiled.

"How much are you gonna pay us to behave?" Stan held out a hand expectantly. 

"Ha! Nice try. Seriously, behave." Dipper pointed at him. 

"Dipper, dude, are you going to the mall? If you do, can you-"

"I will bring back something from Hoo-Ha Owl's Jamboree," Dipper agreed. Least he could do for springing babysitting duty on Soos and Dolores at such short notice. "Even if that place is creepy."

"Yes!"

"Okay, enjoy your games, don't get in trouble, and Dolores-" he pulled out his wallet and handed her some cash. "If I get arrested, pay my bail with this."

"I will," she nodded solemnly. 

"Bye, kids! Don't die or something." Seriously, those twins attracted trouble like nothing else, just one calm day, please.

#

"Video games are so cool!" Ford smiled, much preferring the one where he and Stanley could work together to beat up enemies and find stars to the racing ones.

"Yeah! Man, dad's missing out, I'd never be getting into fights if I had something this fun to do instead!" 

"Heh, yeah, you should get Dipper to take you to the arcade." Soos had his hands folded over his stomach, sticking around to remind them of button functions and point out stuff they missed. "I love that place, I worked there for a while before I was hired for the Mystery Shack."

"Why was that?"

"Oh, Dipper's great, little dudes, but he can't swing a hammer."

"No, he is useless," Dolores agreed. "He'd live in a pigsty if we didn't keep him alive. With the pig."

"He does love that pig." Ford agreed. "He talks to Waddles Jr. a lot."

"Yeah, it's kinda cool." Stan liked how big the pig was. He thought they were all tiny piglets, but Waddles Jr. was a beast. It was awesome. 

"Yeah, he was a total wreck when Waddles Sr. was gone, nothing cheered him up 'til he got a new pig." 

"It was very sad," Dolores agreed before moving on. "Now- my friend also wants a cake for her son's birthday but wants to surprise him. What do you think, chocolate? Vanilla?"

"You should make them something minty, it's the best flavour," Ford jumped in immediately and Stan switched to damage control. 

"No, no- not mint, it's an evil flavour." Stan ignored Ford's offended gasp and flailing hands in his face. "Dolores, go for the vanilla. Classics are classics for a reason. Choc chips if you really need to spice it up."

"I see. Very smart, both of you."

The front door opened and closed with a bang, all of them turning to see Dipper with his back pressed flat to the wood, chest heaving, partially on fire. He had a bag in one hand.

"Sheesh, what happened to you?" Stan had to ask and Dipper shushed him, head cocking.

Stan did the same, and heard sirens blare in their direction, louderLouderLOUDER then fading as they went by. Dipper waited until they vanished before he took a deep breath. 

"Grunkle Dipper…?" Ford asked warily.

"No structural damage!" He raised his hands, half his face covered in soot, the fire on his sleeve starting to spread from his shoulder to his jacket collar.

"Grunkle Dip, you're on fire." Stan had to point it out. Did he not notice?

"I am?" Dipper looked properly at himself and panicked, hurriedly ripping his hat off and batting at the flames. "I am! This is bad!"

Dolores pulled out a fire extinguisher from under her chair and took aim. "Hold still."

"No I'm holding food!" He raised his hand, hat out like a shield. "Fire's out!"

Dolores lowered the extinguisher. "Hm. Crazy man. I'll get the first aid kit."

"It's not that baaaa-and she's gone."

"Dipper. Dude, did you get lunch?"

"Yeah, I got your creepy animatronic pizza," Dipper gestured at the bag, carrying it over and using it as the shield instead. Soos accepted and began doling out pizza as Dipper gestured at the twins. "Budge up, boys."

Ford dutifully moved over, forcing Stan to do the same unless he wanted bony twin elbows shoved into his ribs. "Seriously, what happened?"

"One of my friends should get a job writing horoscopes," Dipper collapsed with a groan. "'Blow up in your face', c'mon. That's not fair. How's your day going?"

"We're playing video games!"

"It's so much fun!"

"They're really good, dude," Soos told him seriously, offering out pizza boxes. Stan grabbed one for both of them to share before they were presented with a second pizza. Wow, one each? Soos continued, settling back in his armchair. "You should put 'em in, like, tournaments."

"Will do." Dipper gave a thumbs up, placing his hat over his face as he leaned back into the couch. "Nap first."

"You're sleeping through pizza?" Old people were so weird. He glanced at Ford, who gave him the same confused face back. "Grunkle Dipper, you're a lost cause."

Dipper grumbled something that sounded like 'four for four'. And Ford thought he was an anomaly, Stan should let him know he had nothing on their Grunkle.

#

Grunkle Dipper was a hard taskmaster when he wanted to be, Ford was deciding, on his third round of scrubbing clean all the various plaques for the permanent attractions. 

"Grunkle Dipper, can we go outside already?" Stan sounded on the verge of either saying the P word, a statistical impossibility, or hitting their grunkle with a broom. Ford was well-past any state of trying to convince him otherwise, maybe the broom would set them free. 

"Not yet," Dipper leaned in the single entrance to the attraction hall, the gift shop on the other side. Freedom was so far away.

How much cleaner could the attraction hall get? Dipper kept running his finger across surfaces, checking for dust and somehow finding some even though Ford knew there wasn't any. Why were they even cleaning? Weren't there supposed to be tours? It wasn't one of the days the Shack was closed. 

This was the worst birthday ever, and that included the year dad made them scrape barnacles off the pier for a friend of his. It included the year Stanley got them both grounded too, actually. It was a low bar, yet somehow Grunkle Dipper managed to crawl under anyway. 

"I still see dust on the Roman sarcophagus. And there's marks on the bog body glass." Dipper checked his flip phone for the fourth time in ten minutes before he busied himself with adjusting the new Cursed Board Game exhibit. 

"That's because the cloth for cleaning the glass is gross," Stan huffed as he swept. "Can I have my smoke bombs back?"

"Will you stop trying to escape?"

"No."

"Then no."

Stan swiped at him with the broom, Dipper managing to dodge. He wobbled, but stayed up. Dad definitely wasn't that light on his feet and he was younger then Dipper. 

"How do you do that when you're so old?" Ford had to ask.

"Well I've been chasing after a pair of troublemakers for the past two and a half weeks-"

"Dipper," Ford pouted. 

"Daily stretches do a lot for a guy, what can I say?" Dipper tipped his hat before wincing. "Still hurts though. And don't smoke, seriously. If you learn nothing else this summer, learn that."

"I don't like the smell anyway." Ford hated the way it made the house smell in Jersey, but he couldn't just tell mom and dad to stop. "And it has lots of health risks."

"And expensive, dad's been complaining about the price." Stan chimed in.

"See? Stinky, dangerous, and expensive. Don't ever do anything that hits all three, those are bad life choices." Dipper preened like he said something clever. Ford wondered if other people thought he looked as smug as his Grunkle did when Ford said smart things. Except he was actually a genius, a real one. 

"Don't tell me what to do," Stan muttered rebelliously. 

Dipper's phone buzzed and he checked it. "Great, okay boys, we can stop cleaning now!"

"Finally!" Ford dropped the cloth like it was about to bite him. 

"What's this 'we' business?" Stan demanded, pointing the broom menacingly at their Grunkle. "You just stood there telling us to do things!"

"It's called 'delegation', it's great," Dipper stepped away from the entrance he'd been sort of blocking. "Alright, let's all go outside!"

"Race you!" Ford ran by his brother and tagged him on the back, Stanley whooping and taking off after him as they ran through the surprisingly empty gift shop and outside past a bunch of cars. They had been cooped up inside too long and had energy to burn. 

"Go round the back!" Dipper called. 

"Eh, why not?" Stan shrugged and tagged him back before sprinting. "Keep up, slowpoke!"

"Don't call me a slowpoke!" Ford chased him with a grin, managing to tackle him right when they rounded the Shack. They landed in a pile of knobbly joints and laughter, right when there was a massive yell of "SURPRISE!"

They froze, taking in the scene. 

Carla and Dan had massive grins as they stood under a banner held up by Dan's trio of uncles, Tad and Fiddleford beside them holding balloons in Tad's case and fireworks in Fiddleford's, also grinning. A tall red-haired woman in an eyepatch and flannel sat beside a pair of adults dressed neatly with pleasant smiles. Waddles Jr. sat among a collection of party games that had been set up. Soos and Dolores stood by a table piled high with food and- oh, wow, two cakes!

"Happy birthday, boys," Dipper said from behind them, sitting on the porch couch and making a 'go ahead' gesture.

Carla barely managed to beat Manly Dan as they raced over, her arms wrapping around them both. Ford heard Stan make a squeaking noise as she hugged them tight, pulling back with a bright smile. "Welcome to being teenagers! It's super cool!"

"Thanks," Stan's voice cracked, and when Ford looked at him his face was bright red. Was he sick?

"My turn!" Dan scooped them both off the ground, squeezing tight enough Ford was sure his spine's alignment was altered. 

"Go easy, Danny!" The woman with the eyepatch called out in amusement, while Dan's three uncles started chanting 'Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan!'

"Happy birthday!" Dan yelled as he put them down. "You have presents!"

"We have presents?!" Ford's eyes bulged in shock. No way, those were so rare!

"You're pulling my leg, big guy," Stan visibly tried to get back his cool. 

"Never! It's not a birthday without presents," Carla grinned. "But you gotta do games and cake first!"

"Those are the rules of partying." Tad tied a red balloon to Ford's wrist and repeated the process for Stan once Stan finished giving him a suspicious squint and stuck out his hand. 

"You're all forgetting a step!" Fiddleford chimed in, hefting the pile of hazardous materials in his arms with a wild grin and a mad laugh. "Fireworks go last! Whoohahaha!"

#

Dipper put his hat over his face to try to sneak in another nap when hands grabbed his arm, hefting him to his feet. He yipped and waved his free arm for balance, Wendy towering over him as she let him go. He wasn't that short, she was just NBA-tall. 

"You think you have a pass to conk out like an old man just because the party started?" Her wild red hair was jammed under a dark beanie and her green eye was bright with guarded amusement. "Wrong idea, buster."

"Wendy, I am an old man." He put his hat back on. "Okay, what am I missing?"

"We all have to watch the kids play party games and clap when they win, then you take pictures of the cake. Didn't you ever have a birthday as a kid?"

"I sometimes skipped my parties to read." Sometimes it felt easier that way, at least until Mabel found him and pulled him out of his head and into a game with all her friends. "I'm just glad people showed up today."

"For those twins? Of course!" Wendy punched his arm with a grin. Ow. He rubbed the spot with a wince as she laughed harder. "Don't be a baby. They're good kids, got plenty of people who'll show up. Why'd you think otherwise?"

She knew why. "I'm surprised you're even here, Wendy." 

"You act like I'm supposed to be some twitchy paranoid wreck, I think you've got that covered." Wendy rolled her eye and patted his back. "Don't get so weird, Dip, get out there and mingle."

She shoved him off the porch and he almost ate dirt, flailing for stability as he stumbled into the small gathering of grown-ups. He recognised Wendy's brothers who all were cheering for the kids, no point talking to them, and he wasn't gonna get away with not talking to anyone. Soos would be easy, but maybe he should at least learn the names of the unknowns on his property?

"Hi. Dipper Pines." He waved awkwardly at the Stranges. He vaguely remembered meeting one of them when he paid the mortgage off, but couldn't remember a name. He also couldn't remember if he'd ever seen them blink. Time to observe. "Nice to meet you properly."

"Hi." The man who looked and sounded way too much like his son, except for his brown hair, held out a hand with wide eyes. "I'm Carl Strange. This is my wife-"

"Celia Strange," she also held out a hand, staring with a smile that matched her husband's. "It's lovely to meet you, Mr Mystery. We love your Shack."

"Thanks." He bit the side of his tongue as he forced himself to shake their hands one at a time- eeny, meeny, miney, you- and kept on the showman's smile. Mr Mystery was a lot braver than Dipper Pines. "Regular visitors, then?"

"Oh yes, we like to drop by. Reminds us of our old town," Celia laughed, her glossy black hair cut in a neat bob. 

"We love your snowglobes, ever since we stopped travelling it's been great for our collection." Carl put his hand on his hip, smiling placidly. Still no blinks.  "New designs each year, how do you do it?"

"I take my inspiration from the world around me." He looked over at the kids as they tried to pin a tail on a cartoon pig drawing. Aw, cute. Waddles Jr. deserved the homage. 

"How artistic! You know, we're so glad our little tadpole's made some friends here."

"I've never seen him so excited."

Dipper squinted as he studied the kid squad. Nope, the Strange kid still had that singular smile on that seemed to be his one 'setting', so to speak. Same one as what his folks had. Eerie. 

"Yeah. No, he seems like a good kid." He looked back at the happy couple. Was that abnormal pupil dilation or…? "It's good for the twins, I think they need some normal in their lives."

"Well, we're as normal as can be," Celia chuckled. 

"Yes, indeed," her husband agreed. "Though it must be exciting, running one of the local town attractions."

"Yeah, yeah, it's fine." Someone save him from small talk. Wait, was that a motorbike? "Actually I think I hear the delivery guy, I'll be back in a sec, great to meet you both, you're welcome to come back for a tour anytime."

"We will!" They chorused. It sent a chill down his spine. Okay, he was going to never talk to the Strange parents again, great idea. 

He walked around the Shack to see Jimmy pull up out front, sighing in relief. Someone he could deal with. "I've never been happier to see you in my life, Snakes."

"Whatever, old man." Jimmy pulled off his helmet, snake tattoo in a different position today. He hefted two giant boxes off the back of his bike. "Here's the dumb packages."

"I didn't send you out for anything?"

"Nah, they're from that rich lady with the brat kid. She actually paid me," Jimmy sneered. "You should try that some time."

"I don't have money." Dipper stated, standing in front of his functioning livelihood. "Are you saying Pacifica sent you?" 

"Uh-huh."

But why would she- wait. The realisation clicked and he ran over, actually reading the labels on the giant boxes. Insane. Pacifica Northwest was apparently insane. Who did this? "She got them bikes for their birthday?! How?"

"Wait, am I on a birthday present run?" Jimmy sounded so offended.

"Get your butt in gear and do your scale thing, kid, you're carrying these."

"I hate you."

#

It was a whirlwind of fun and cake and so many presents. Stan still couldn't believe that they had an actual birthday party. One where people wanted to be there. Dan and Carla and Tad and Fiddleford and Jimmy- who showed up late and stayed for cake before leaving- had all actually wanted to be there. Stan had no idea how to even handle all that, and clearly Ford didn't either.

"How's the cataloguing going?" He asked as Ford wrote down everything in their present haul. Whatever made him feel better.

"A bike each from someone named 'Paz', flannel jackets from the Corduroys, toy dinosaurs from Soos and Dolores, free passes to the local carnival from Carla, Shermie mailed us toy boats, Fiddleford got me a book and you a comic, and Tad gave us both a whole thirty bucks each." 

"And…" Stan hefted up what had been on their beds after the party ended. 

"Right. A beginner artist's set, one for you and one for me." All Dipper had said when they turned on him for answers was a shifty 'family could use more artists' statement. 

"This is the most insane present haul we've ever gotten." Stan summed up.

"It's too much. Way too much." Ford agreed. "We- do we just keep it all? Are we allowed?"

"I mean- how are we meant to give it back without looking like goobers?"

"I don't know, I've been running calculations and everything beyond keeping it all seems rude, but that also seems rude?"

"Maybe we figure it out tomorrow?" Stan could put the moral complexity stuff off forever, honestly. "After all, we gotta call mom." It wouldn't feel right without hearing her say 'happy birthday'.

"We gotta call mom." Ford's eyes went wide, remembering the most important part of the day. "Okay, we know what to say, and what not to say so dad doesn't drag us back home yet. We've practiced. To the phone!"

"Yeah!" They ran downstairs and Ford dialled, easily remembering the number on the landline. The fact that Grunkle Dipper still had a landline was comforting. Mom did too, one that dad kept in top shape so she could work. 

It rang once, twice, thrice, before it was picked up and on the other end- "that'll be 99 cents an hour."

"Ma!" They chorused.

"Stanley, Stanford! My baby boys!" She sounded way more interested now, her voice husky from cigarette smoke and warm with love. "Happy birthday! How's it feel to be thirteen?"

"We're not babies anymore, ma!" Stan snatched the phone. He hoped so much Pa wasn't around on the other side, as weird as Gravity Falls was, it was nice to feel like he could breathe without being weighed down by dad's disappointment. "We're teenagers now!"

Ford snatched the phone back. "Grunkle threw us a surprise party and all our friends came!"  

"That sap," she laughed. "Guess Shermie was right, sounds like you're having fun up there."

"We are!" Stan chimed in. "And my brace is off so I can punch things again!" It still kinda hurt a bit, but that was just healing, probably.

"That's my little spitfire! Tell me about your party, I miss you both." Stan hoped that was true. He wanted it to be.

"We miss you too, ma." Ford smiled sadly. Stan hesitated before he reached out and took his hand. Ford smiled gratefully at him before he took a deep breath. 

"So first we were cleaning the Mystery Shack…"

[noirvette]

stan and kyle! w/ a plus size fem! reader headcanons!!

cws: swearing but otherwise just pure fluff aged up characters!

♡ STAN MARSH

Stan thinks you're THE cutest girl in the world and he's stoked that he's your bf. Like people will say "Oh you're Stan's gf?" and he's like "no i'm HER bf, she's GOT me dude."

He's most definitely your biggest supporter and biggest defender.

I mentioned in my gen headcanons that he'd love his s/o to be wearing his jersey and this is multiplied tenfold. He absolutely LOVES and I mean LOVES seeing you in his jersey number. Guarantee win for South Park because seeing you just fueled his desire to smoke the other team.

Loves holding you. Just you two, laying in bed, you both just in each other's embrace. He could die the world's most happiest man at that moment.

Is a thick thigh fan. Like Stan (and Kenny but shh this isn't about Kenny) are #1 believers in the thick thighs save lives.

Despite him being your number one defender, he's more silent in how he defends you. Not that he won't outwardly confront someone if they're bothering you, it just happens to be he's like.. mean (that is not the word I want but I can't think of how else to put it) when he's silent and he knows this and uses it to his advantage.

If he's with you (or even if you're not with him) and overhears some randos talking about you he's into one of two modes.

First one is he turns around and just blank stares at the people and when they notice him he just.. looks up and down, eyebrow raised and does a MEAN side eye as he turns back around.

If they continue this leads into the second mode (which sometimes he starts off with this if he's had ENOUGH)

Second is that he pulls you into him, gives you a kiss, and turns to the people with a "my gf is better than you and you sob into your pillow every night bc you're lonely so shut the fuck up."

If they try and argue he's just "cry about it lmfao. Don't care plus you're balding."

Picks you up, doesn't even matter if you think he can't because he can. He's determined AND he's hella strong. Being on the football team has made his biceps BIG.

Said earlier than he loves holding you but I'm dead serious with this. He's such a cuddly big spoon and just holding you in his arms makes him giggly (got him blushing and kicking his legs)

Loves every part of you and if you feel self conscious over something he's kissing every inch.

If you're wearing something (or even just showing him the outfit) you normally wouldn't wear, he's whistling and complimenting on how you're making it work.

"You're looking good, babe. Wear it out, you're stunning."

Boy's in love WITH you.

♡ KYLE BROFLOVSKI

Is another one to defend, except he's throwing hard hands. And he wins because obviously, it's Kyle.

As he gets older, he's stopped making the weight comments on Cartman (thinks it was immature of him to do when younger) and has definitely grown from that.

He's got a major sleepers build in my eyes. He's lanky sure, but basketball and working out with Stan's got him that muscle to hold you too. (I'm thinking like moistcr1tikal kind of sleeper's build Kyle also has major biceps im actually trey parker and matt stone so). And he WILL pick you up if you're at a game of his and his team wins. Even if they lose he's still picking you up. You're like his happiness supplier.

Leaves you cute notes about how good you look in your locker every day, has not gone ONE day without doing it. Kyle's sick? Tough because he managed to get that note in there somehow (Stan slipped it in for him haha).

Back to him throwing hands real quick, he's quick to jump if someone is talking bad about you like a "What the FUCK did you say about my girl? Say it again, Say. It. Again." And boom he's one hit k.o the other person

If you're not a fan of this behavior, he's not beating up anyone physically but now it's verbally. He's making sure everyone knows not to ever comment on you and how that's a bitch thing to do.

If you're down about yourself, he's gonna sit down with you and just point every thing he loves about you and go into detail about how he's with you for you. Not because of what you look like or anything, but because you're his beautiful girl.

When he's the big spoon and cuddling you he rubs circles into your hips and presses kisses into your shoulder

If you're the big spoon, play with his hair and he's asleep within two seconds and his head is laying in the crook of your neck.

Similar to Stan if you're wearing an outfit you normally wouldn't, he's ecstatic. Got him going "MY BABY! You look so good!" and then moves you to the mirror and just holds your hips and is gushing over you.

Bro's got that love in his eyes.

Loves your thighs too, he's constantly got his head on your lap, reading a book and is in heaven with that quality time with you.

Loves for you to sit on his lap as well, you're worried about your weight on him? He does not care, he's got some strong ass legs and your weight isn't ever an issue in his eyes. He will literally make you sit on his lap. Even if that means he's gotta drag you.

"Love come sit" Kyle pats his legs as he calls for you, "Uh but..", "Wasn't a question," He responds, shrugging, "Now get over here, I wanna hold you.

[momentomori24]

Being a soushin fan and Sou/Shin stan is a constant, annoying push and pull (for me). Like, on one hand I love seeing a doomed relationship. I love seeing how there was love and affection there-- twisted, deeply unhealthy and destructively toxic, but it was still there. I love seeing a massive rift between that keeps that distance between them, but they're so intimately close all the same. I love seeing love and longing and hate and bitterness clash into an ugly, painful, confusing mess of emotions. I love seeing moments before the death game when things were "easier", where Shin was "happier", knowing that he never had any chance of winning in a friendship with a man like that. I love seeing two complicated men too obsessed with each, clinging to a scarf or a picture or an AI when they can't be together, seeking each other out to the point where'd they'd destroy each other and themselves eventually.

And on the other hand I want to see Sou be able to move on. I want to see him heal. I want him to be able have a life outside of Midori's influence. Letting go of that scarf, of taking on that persouna. Of having to be suspicious of everyone around him. Of being afraid of anyone getting too close. Of acting cruel and playing strong so no one can hurt him like that again. Of having that past trauma leak into his new relationships like it did with Kanna. I want him to be happy. To get better-- be better. Be himself. Not Shin, not even Sou. Just... him. Who ever he finds himself to be after the dust has settled on the horrors he's faced.

One part of me wants them to be impossibly close, so entangled in each other that it's sufficating, while the other want them to be as far apart as possible, of it never being able to be the same again, of Sou cutting himself free from that relationship, from him, and live freely until he forgets what it was like to have been haunted at all.

Which is funny because. Literally 95% of my Soushin experience is usually Shin, despite the abuse and manipulation Hiyori puts him through, choosing to stay. Seeing no other option but to stay. Loves him-- or wants to, thinks he wants to-- and submits to it, submits to him, stuck in that vicious cycle which he believes to be his "happy ending" yet again. And like, I love it, I love some super angsty, toxic soushin cuz I'm a soushin degenerate, but MAN it kills the Sou lover in me to see him like that. Sou, Shin, the love of my life-- RUN AWAY, get AWAY from that man, throw him off a balcony. Ditch his ass, you deserve BETTER (I say, also an avid Keisou shipper. I just headcanon he has shitty taste in men that... don't really have his best interest in mind XD poor baby)--

Btw, while I'm at it and this is about Sou anyway. I'm waving my finger and spitting in your face, Yttd fandom. I don't give a flying flip if the emotion route is more positive in tone or you believe that it's "canon" or whatever. I'm keeping Sou alive at all cost to spite the game, him and all of you guys. I will win him that second chance of happiness, prove that 0.0% a lie and carry that walking wet noodle bridal style into the moonlight to put a ring on that finger or I will DIE trying.

[pepperonijem]

iv. a truth universally acknowledged || all my love

“It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.” – Pride and Prejudice; Jane Austen

Summary: two idiots walk into the lego section at target... Pairing: high school!bucky x f!reader Warnings: cursing and food mentions Word Count: 3.6k A/N: can u imagine seb stan as mr. darcy bc now i can and i can't stop. happy easter to those who celebrate!

previous chapter || back to library || next chapter

“I was in the middle before I knew that I had begun.”

Bucky set his book down to take a sip of his coffee. The chime of the door opening was followed by the sound of wind howling and Bucky tightened his grip on the warm mug in his hands. He let out a contented sigh as the taste of coffee filled his tired mind and relaxed his thoughts.

The end of the football season and the hues of oranges and reds painting the tree tops meant autumn had finally arrived. This was the time of year Bucky looked forward to the most, when his Saturday mornings were no longer reserved for football practice, but rather for spending time alone in local cafes after his morning run.

Most Saturdays he would spend hours working on homework, two danishes on a plate (one was free for being a regular) and a half-empty mug of black coffee (with two pumps of brown sugar syrup, a secret between him and the barista). However, on some Saturdays, like today, he could spend time rereading one of his favorite books, Pride and Prejudice. By now, his copy of the book was well-worn. After reading it for his literature class his freshman year, he had fallen in love with the book and reread it often. Most of the books in his collection were in the same condition, the margins covered in tiny and messy scrawled notes, and various colored sticky notes sticking out of the pages of the books. “Well-loved,” he liked to call them. 

Much like his coffee order, his inclination towards classic romance novels was indeed a secret. Even Bucky himself wasn’t completely sure why he felt so attached to these stories. Was it because he related to Elizabeth’s character? Or maybe to Mr. Darcy? Or maybe it was the way Jane Austen’s humor seemed to jump off the page. Whatever the reason was, it was probably written somewhere among the margins and sticky notes that littered his book. But until he could figure it out himself, he refused to let anyone else know. 

“Hey Bucky,” a cheery voice called.  At the sound of his name, he looked up from his book to see Wanda smiling and waving at him with an iced coffee and a box full of pastries in her hands. He smiled and greeted her in response as he put his book down, making sure to slip his bookmark into his spot.

“Are you gonna eat all those croissants yourself?” Bucky joked, pointing at the box in Wanda’s hands. 

Wanda let out a chuckle before replying, “I wish, but this is for the party tonight. What are you bringing?” Wanda laughed again at the blank look on her friend’s face. “Did you forget Tony asked us all to bring something?”

Bucky pushed his glasses up and tried to remember when Tony brought it up. It was a few weeks ago, the night of the last football game… the night he had to spend taking care of you after you sprained your ankle. To be honest, he thought the call he got from Tony that night was a part of a dream he had. 

He remembered arguing with you about whether or not professor Snape deserved a redemption arc and why he was so much better in the books, and that was about the last thing before the sound of his phone cut through the silence. The bright light of his phone illuminated the room and Bucky had to squint his eyes to read Tony’s name under the time – 2:38 a.m.

“Bucky!” His voice came through the phone as an ear-splitting scream and Bucky pulled his phone away from his ear, only to hear a quieter grumble on the couch next to him. He looked over to see you sprawled out on the couch, your arm and leg hung over the side and he scoffed a little bit at how peaceful you looked despite what might have been a very uncomfortable sleeping position. He grabbed a pillow that had fallen off the couch and gently placed your leg on top of it, concerned about how your ankle would feel in the morning.

”So are you coming?” Bucky briefly snapped his attention back to his friend on the phone.

“Uh sure,” he replied, not totally sure what he agreed to, more occupied with finding a blanket to cover you up. He found one on the other couch and delicately placed it over you, making sure to even cover your feet. Over the phone he could faintly hear Bucky going on about the crazy pancake abomination that Peter and Scott were making. “Okay,” Bucky cut him off, clearing his throat to hide the sleepy rasp in his voice. “I’m uh, studying so I’ll talk to you guys tomorrow.” Before Tony could protest, Bucky had already hit the end button. 

The last thing Bucky remembers from that night was leaving a glass of water on the side table next to you before heading to his own room and flopping down on his bed.

“It’s fine if you forgot,” Wanda’s voice brought Bucky back to the conversation. “I can just say it’s from all three of us.” The smile on her face was so genuine that Bucky almost felt guilty for still being confused.

“Three… of us?” He asked, unsure of who the third person was. “Us and Steve?” 

Wanda laughed again. “Buddy, you really don’t remember anything from that night at all huh?”

Bucky let out a sigh of defeat and invited Wanda to sit down across from him and once she sat down offered her the extra danish. “Honestly,” he began, unsure of how much detail to offer. “I was up pretty late taking care of your friend that night, and when Tony called me I was half asleep.”

Wanda gave a nod of understanding before a mischievous smile made its way onto her features. “So I’m guessing you also don’t remember that he invited your roomie as well?” The color drained from Bucky’s features, causing Wanda to let out a pitied chuckle. “I’ll take that as a no.”

“She’s coming too?” Bucky stumbled over his sentence, annoyed at his own lack of composure. 

“Yes sir,” Wanda mimed a salute at him. “I was on my way to pick her up…” she trailed off for a second, looking around and then down at her bare wrist as if she had a watch on. “But uh, I forgot I have to go get Steve actually, so if you could take her that would be great.” 

Before Bucky could protest, Wanda was headed towards the door, stuffing the rest of the danish in her mouth and uttering a “Thanks Buck-o!” as she pushed the door open with her hip. 

Dumbfounded and alone, Bucky shook his head and looked back down at his coffee in front of him. For a second, he thought about going straight home to get ready for the party, but he changed his mind – opting instead to open his book back up to read a little bit more. He let out a sigh at the sight of the pink envelope that stuck out between the pages. He continued to read for what felt like hours, but upon looking down at his watch, he saw that it had only been one and headed to the counter to order another pastry and a cup of tea before he left the warmth of the cafe. 

The red and orange leaves falling down in the cool autumn breeze was enough to make Bucky want to spend a quiet day out in the park rather than surrounded by his often obnoxious and loud friend group. As he walked home however, he couldn’t help but feel… well, bored. He was walking the same route he always walks, through the main street so he could appreciate the halloween decorations that were beginning to pop up in the small storefront windows, but he couldn’t help but feel like something was missing this year.

Instead of thinking too hard about it, he clasped his hand around the warm to-go cup of tea even tighter and walked the rest of the way home.

Before he even unlocked the door, Bucky could hear the faint sounds of… his dad singing Celine Dion? He let out a chuckle and opened the door, kicking his shoes off before walking into the kitchen for a glass of water. He didn’t bother turning on the lights, the kitchen was illuminated enough by the colorful lights emanating from the living room television. As he headed towards the concert that was happening live from his living room, he laughed at the sight of you being his dad’s number one hype man, amused that you hadn’t noticed him yet.

At the end of the song, he finally made himself known when he clapped, letting out an enthusiastic “Encore! Encore!” to which you finally turned around and gave him a wave. He walked over to the other side of the couch that you were sitting on, handing you the pastry bag and the still warm cup of tea from the cafe. “They had a special autumn blend of tea,” he explained as he watched you take a sip. “I thought you might wanna try it.”

You let out an appreciative hum. “It’s pretty good,” you affirmed, and Bucky nodded in response. “Sorry we started Karaoke Saturday without you, your dad was really excited about singing Celine Dion today.”

“Yeah,” Bucky’s dad chimed in, wiping at his head. “Steve and Wanda came by while you were out to let me know it’s Scott’s birthday and that both of you would be attending.” 

Bucky raised his eyebrow at his father’s comment. “Oh they stopped by?” He remembered his conversation with Wanda earlier, and he realized what was going on. “Why didn’t you go with them? Aren’t they also going to the party?”

He wanted to laugh at the way your eyes widened just the slightest bit as you refused to make eye contact with him. “Uh,” you began. “I wasn’t ready to go yet, and they had to go pick up the specially made cake Scott requested.” Although the reasoning itself made enough sense, Bucky still couldn’t help but smirk at the hint of panic in your voice. 

“Oh?” he replied. “That’s perfect, you can come with me instead.” The shade of red your cheeks turned was indication enough that he had you flustered. Bucky continued as you coughed in shock at the comment. “Since you and Scott are besties now you can help me find a gift.”

“Did you just say besties?” you scoffed at his comment. “I wouldn’t say besties per se…”

“So does he not invite you over every week to try different boba places with him? You guys haven’t watched every piece of content that has a minion in it together?” he questioned. It was true that you had become quite close with not only Scott, but most of the other people in Bucky’s friend group. At first, most of the gang were coming over to bring you food and to check on you after your injury, but at this point you were pretty much just in the group. All of them were dying to hang out with you. Bucky didn’t really understand why everyone wanted to be around you so badly, and honestly, it did annoy him. He wasn’t completely sure why this would bother him at all, but the more he thought about it –

“Keeping tabs, Bucky? If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you sound jealous.” Your words snapped him out of his thoughts and now it was his turn to scoff and look away, now pretending to be busy on his phone as he rolled his eyes at you.

Of course, Bucky didn’t miss the not-so-subtle thumbs up his father gave you from the side of his vision. He could see it, but was he going to acknowledge it? Of course not. He wasn’t oblivious to the way his dad seemed to encourage your crush on him, but it didn’t really bother him at all actually. So instead he cleared his throat and announced that the two of you would be heading out after he put his stuff away and got changed.

“Have fun you two,” his dad replied. “Stay out as late as you want, I’m going out with my book club.”

Before Bucky could even question his father, he had already left the room, leaving you and Bucky in the disco-lit living room with a Mariah Carey song playing in the background.

“When did he join a book club?” you asked Bucky, who shrugged his shoulders in response. 

“Beats me.” He replied, checking his watch. “Can you start the car? I’ll be down in a second.” Bucky opened his backpack and tossed you his car keys as you nodded and made his way upstairs to his bedroom, throwing his backpack onto his bed and running back out to the car. The two of you still had to stop somewhere to get Scott a gift and Bucky was not the type of person to be anything short of punctual. 

As Bucky entered Target, he had a mission in mind – to get a Lego set like Scott mentioned to you, grab a card, sign both of your names on it, and get the hell to the party. If everything went according to plan the two of you could be in and out in less than ten minutes. 

However, as Bucky had come to see in the last few weeks, nothing with you ever went according to plan.

Fifteen minutes after entering the store, the two of you were still arguing in semi-hushed tones in the middle of the Lego aisle, each of you holding a different build set in your hands. 

“Just pick one,” he sighed, watching you pick up yet another set in consideration. He couldn’t help but roll his eyes at the inefficiency he was seeing. “We’re already late.”

You shook your head at him as you furrowed your eyebrows. “I don’t care,” you replied. “I need to make sure Scott’s gift is perfect.”

“Why? It’s a Lego set,” Bucky said. “You literally can’t go wrong.” He leaned against the aisle, still watching you look at the picture on every single box, as well as the number of pieces.

“No, you don’t get it,” you sighed, looking up to face him. “It has to be the right Lego set. If it has too many pieces, or it’s something he doesn’t care about, he won’t want to even open it.” You explained this as you showed him examples of which boxes you were not going to get – boxes with excessive piece counts as well as a Van Gogh set.

“But if we get him the perfect one,” you explained as you reached your hand to the back of the shelf and grinning as you showed the box to Bucky. “He’ll be excited to open it, and he’ll think of us every single time he sees it. That’s how you pick the perfect gift.” You handed Bucky the box with a Lego version of Spongebob’s pineapple house on the front. 

Bucky took it with a sigh, placing it in the basket that was also filled with a gift bag, an assortment of candy bars and a cheesy gift card with a silly pun on it. “Why do you care so much?” He confessed, sounding a little more on edge than he meant to let on. “You barely even know him.” 

To be honest, the same annoyance that he felt earlier was bubbling back up to the surface. But before it got any further, you snapped back at him. “Why don’t you care enough?” Bucky was so caught off guard that he had nothing to say back to you.

Needless to say, the drive to the party was silent. 

“Welcome! You guys are nearly an hour late,” Scott chastised them as soon as he opened the door.

“Sorry,” Bucky heard you apologize to him as you handed the gift bag of Lego and candy to Scott. “Somebody had a stick up his ass so it took us a little longer to get around.” Bucky scoffed at the pointed look you gave him over your shoulder as you walked past Scott and into the party.

However, before he could follow you in, Scott raised his hand up to stop him. “What did you do to piss off my best friend?” He asked Bucky with his arms crossed.

“Nothing,” he sighed, rolling his eyes. “Best friend?” 

“Duh,” Scott smirked. “How could I not be best friends with the only other hottie in this friend group.” Laughing at his own remark, Scott finally let Bucky through the door. He put his hand on Bucky’s shoulder as he walked him through the house and into the kitchen and Bucky found himself fighting the urge to brush his hand away. Something about Scott’s comment left an ugly feeling in his chest. Luckily, before he could let out the snappy remark building in his mind, Natasha waved at Bucky through the window and called him over to join their group at the patio outside. Scott handed Bucky a soda and sent him out to join them.

“Bucky,” Natasha called with a smile as he approached. “Help us settle a debate.” 

“Sure,” He agreed. “What’s the debate?”

Rhodey let out an aggravated sigh as he began to explain. “Sam and Tony are trying to tell us that you can’t drink soup.” Bucky couldn’t help but chuckle at the way his eyebrows scrunched together as he explained why you definitely can drink soup.

“Why are you guys even discussing this?” Bucky asked curiously. 

“Sam and Rhodey’s friends were arguing about it over brunch today,” Natasha began to explain.

“Yeah, this girl from our physics class tried to tell us that you don’t drink soup, you eat it,” Rhodey continued. “Which doesn’t make any sense. Soup is a liquid. So you drink it. And it didn’t help that Natasha was too busy chatting with the girl from the tennis team about some celebrity drama to defend my honor.”

Natasha raised her hands in defense. “It was her birthday, you should’ve just let her have that one,” she chided her friend who continued to animatedly defend his position to an equally animated Rhodey. She turned to Bucky instead to speak to him in hushed tones. “We were actually talking about your drama, not some celebrity.” Bucky raised his eyebrows at Natasha who was grinning but looking away. “My friend said she saw you reading at the cafe this morning.”

“And?” Bucky questioned. “I always read at the cafe.”

Natasha finally turned to face him. “She thought your bookmark looked a little familiar.” Bucky could not hide the shade of red that crept onto his cheeks as he quickly turned his gaze away from Natasha and found himself looking in your direction instead. 

“When she told me about it,” Natasha continued, smirking as he followed his friend’s gaze. “It did seem a bit odd to use someone’s confession letter as a bookmark.” 

Instead of staying to try to deny Natasha’s insinuations, Bucky quickly walked away instead and headed back into the kitchen to take a break from what started to feel like a very stuffy party. Was he the only one who felt like the walls were starting to get smaller?

As he stood back inside the kitchen, he took a deep breath and leaned his arms against the sink. He looked back up to the window facing the backyard, where all of his friends stood, having a good time. Naturally, his eyes landed on you, laughing and resting your head against Steve’s shoulder and that icky feeling that had been slowly climbing up in his chest like ivy growing on a stone wall had finally taken over every last inch.

His grip on the edge of the sink tightened, and so did his resolve. He chugged the rest of his soda and gathered the courage to go back out to where everyone was, to where you were. He opened the door, and took two steps out before he stopped in his tracks like a deer caught in the headlights. Were you crying? You were laughing just minutes ago.

“Bucky,” Rhodey called quietly from beside him, putting an arm around his shoulders. “Let’s talk over here.” He led Bucky away from the spot he was glued to and instead back towards his friends. Whatever debate they had earlier seemed to fall to the backburner as soon as Bucky walked toward them.

“Is she okay?” were the first words to leave Bucky’s mouth and Sam turned to look at him in surprise.

“Your friend?” He asked and Bucky winced at the label but nodded anyway. “She’s uh… she’s fine.” Rhodey looked to Natasha for support, who let out a sigh and looked over to where you were standing. 

“No,” Natasha confessed. “I don’t think so.” On instinct, Bucky turned around ready to bolt over to your direction. He had no idea what he would even say to you, but every neuron in his brain was just telling him to run. But before he could move, Natasha’s hand was on his wrist.

“I wouldn’t head over there,” Natasha suggested, giving Bucky a sad smile. “Your name came up just before you came outside.”

The stone walls in his chest suddenly crumbled under the weight of the ivy growing, and he wondered if his walls were really that strong to begin with. Did I make her cry? he thought to himself. He looked over to you, your head once again resting against Steve’s shoulder as he rubbed circles on your back, rising and falling in time with your quiet sobs. 

Bucky no longer felt angry or frustrated, but he did feel confused at the way his heart sank at the sight. He looked down at his own feet before he let out a quiet “Oh.” at Natasha’s comment. He only looked back up once again when he heard her call his attention, leading him just out of earshot of the group.

“Do you…” She began to ask tentatively. “Like her?”

[yiplee]

Hey, ur fics are awesome!! I was wondering if you could write lee!Kyle and ler!Stan? Feel free to decline! Have a nice day/night! -🦊

Thank you so much anon! 💕 I didn’t expect to actually get requests, let alone such support in the beginning lol! Thanks for the request, and heeere’s the fic :)

(Lee!Kyle) (Ler!Stan)

DESC: The morning after Stan and Kyle had a sleepover, Stan wakes up to find Kyle in his chair playing a game. He insists that Kyle stop and hang out with him some more before he has to leave, but Kyle insists on finishing the round, so Stan…interferes with the game. :)

———————————————————————

Stan yawned, slipping out of his sleeping bag. He looked around for a moment, confused out of his mind. Why wasn’t he in his bedroom?

He remembered in a second that he had just slept over at Kyle’s, the memories flooding back to him in an instant.

Hey, where was Kyle, anyway? Stan looked up at Kyle’s bed. He wasn’t in it. Then his attention was drawn to Kyle’s computer. He was playing some video game at his desk.

“Oh, hey Kyle! I’m up.” Stan said, standing up with a stretch and walking up to Kyle, leaning over to see what he was playing on the computer. It was some fps game.

“Oh hey Stan.” Kyle said absentmindedly, continuing to play his game like that’s all Stan had come over to say.

“Well uh…don’t you wanna hang out some more before I have to leave?” Stan asked, trying to get Kyle to look at him, but his eyes were glued to the monitor.

“Yeah, sure. Just lemme finish this round.” Kyle dismissed, sliding his headphone back over his ear. Stan’s brow furrowed. They hardly get to have sleepovers, and Kyle just wants to play video games?

“Well come on dude, you can play this game any day. We can only have sleepovers sometimes.” Stan argued, tucking Kyle’s headphone back.

“Stan! You’re distracting me.” Kyle shooed Stan like some sort of pest, putting his headphone back over his ear again.

Stan scoffed in disbelief. Some super-best-friend! He almost ripped Kyle’s headset off, but then he got a much better idea.

Stan smirked down at Kyle, who was too focused on his game to even see. He walked around to the back of Kyle’s chair, jumping up and leaning over it, so he dangled above Kyle with his arms behind him.

Kyle didn’t even notice, as he continued pressing keys on his keyboard and aggressively swiping his mouse across the mousepad. His arms were stretched forward. It was perfect.

With the focus of a vulture, Stan swooped both of his hands directly under both of Kyle’s arms. His fingers weren’t even moving yet, but it was enough to get a loud yelp of surprise from his distracted friend.

Kyle’s arms shot back from his keyboard, as he exclaimed “STAN! What the hell, man?” He hissed, looking up at his smug captor.

“What’s wrong, Kyle? Go ahead, play the game.” Stan teased, beginning to dig and scribble with his fingers which were tucked under Kyle’s arms.

Kyle clamped his mouth shut, trying to wriggle Stan’s hands out. He couldn’t even reach for his wrists and pull them off, because of the direction Stan was coming from. Stan just watched from above as his friend thrashed about beneath him.

“Stahahan! Cuhuhut it out!” Kyle hissed, squirming from side to side. “I’m trying to plahahay my gahahame!”

“Okay, play it then! Reach out! Grab the mouse!” Stan teased, lowering his hands to scribble up and down Kyle’s sides. That made Kyle shriek, bursting into his loud, wheezy laughter.

“Oh, Kyle, look! I think the enemy team is rushing you! You better get out of there!” Stan commented, while Kyle watched helplessly as his character was killed.

“Ooh! Tough luck! Does that mean the round is over, Kyle?” Stan wouldn’t let up on the teasing—or the tickles, for that matter.

“SHUHUHUHUT UP SMARTAHAHAHASS!!” Kyle called, wriggling madly as Stan’s fingers danced all across his midsection, and he could do nothing to stop it.

Stan laughed along with Kyle as the chair bobbed back and forth, with Kyle’s thrashing and Stan’s leaning pushing it to its limits.

Stan made the mistake of leaning in to get a better look at Kyle’s laughing face, and both boys yelped as the chair flipped over, sending both boys tumbling to the floor.

They both laughed together for a while before stopping to catch their breath. Stan stood up, offering a helping hand to Kyle as they stood the chair back up. Kyle turned his computer off and turned to Stan with a sudden serious look—he wasn’t going to forget about what happened.

“Stan.” Was all Kyle said. Stan looked back to Kyle with a guilty smile on his face. “…Yyyeess?”

“Run.”

At his words, Stan bolted off. Kyle chased after him—both boys laughing—through the house. It seems Stan’s method of getting Kyle to get up and play worked, just not in the way he expected.

[finniestoncrane]

Hi!! I love your dano riddler fics so much

I used to write fic myself but am long since out of the game lol but I still have ideas and I kind of wish they got used, so I thought I could send you some ? Not even as requests as such, just ideas to imagine Eddie with hehe

One I had today was (dark fic warning!) reader being kidnapped by Eddie and streamed nc ensuing, but unbeknownst to Eddie the reader has been lowkey infatuated with him for a while and recognises his smell and shouts out his name on stream, prompting him to not know whether to immediate stop streaming or act like he has no idea who Edward nashton is

Just wanted to share w a fellow Eddie stan !!

Crush

Dano!Riddler x GN!Reader, word count: 600 oh shit yeah please send your plot bunnies my way lmao i would love to see if i can make them happen and this was so much fun to write!! 🐀💚 request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi • masterlist minors DNI!! 🔞 cw: restraints, kidnapping, threats

The last thing you remember, you had been trying to catch up to Edward Nashton, your office crush, in the hopes of walking him home. You’d walked down the alley you were sure he had turned down, and then something was over your face. You were sure you hit the ground… maybe… but you couldn’t be certain.

And now, you were tied up, wrists, ankles and waist duct taped to the arms of the chair you were sat on. In front of you, the figure clad in dark green, mask over his face, spoke to the camera of his computer.

“…so this one was just for fun, guys! Just something to keep me sharp while we wait for the next step in our plan.”

You recognised the modulated voice, your eyes adjusting to the light. The Riddler. Criminal. Potential vigilante. Murderer. He must have got you in the alley. But where was Eddie? As your mind began to panic, thinking of all the terrible things he might have done to Eddie, the Riddler stepped over to you, holding the camera to your face, leaning in to you to offer a threat, a teasing comment. You weren’t really listening, you were distracted. Over the scent of the mask, the sweat, you could make out the cologne, extremely familiar. Glancing up to make eye contact with him, you noticed the frames, the dull green pupils behind them.

He turned from you, placing the laptop back down on the desk. As he continued with his speech, you put everything together.

“Edward. Edward Nashton.”

Turning quick enough to give himself whiplash, the Riddler stared you down.

“Oh, she speaks! I have no idea who that is, so maybe be quiet.”

Turning from you once again, he stammered some excuse to the people watching.

“Eddie! Edward Nashton.”

“Quit barking over there! I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You smell like him.”

“What a strange thing to yelp about.”

He laughed, an attempt at scoffing, but his nerves were seeping through.

“You’re Edward Nashton, right?”

“I don’t know who that is! STOP! Bad dog!”

You kicked at the backpack, stretching to reach it. It tipped over, some duct tape, three notepads, and a work pass on a lanyard spilled out. You managed to shift the pass with your toes, able to make out Edward’s face, your place of work, the badge formatted the same as your own one still around your neck.

“Oh yeah? Then how come his name badge is right here on the floor.”

“Ok, you want the truth little puppy?”

The Riddler got up from his chair, pushing it to the side, crouching in front of you, the camera displaying all at the angle is recorded.

“I killed Edward Nashton. You’re smelling a dead man’s scent. You rifled through a dead man’s things.”

Your heart sank, nervously considering that he was telling the truth.

“No…”

“Yes! And that was supposed to be a nice surprise to my viewers, but you’ve spoiled it now. Sorry guys! I’ll end the stream now, I’ll be back tomorrow with a better gift for you all.”

He turned off the stream, closing the lid of the laptop, crouching in front of you again.

“You’re lying. You are Eddie.”

Pulling his mask off, he smiled, revealing his face. The sweet face you had had a crush on for months now.

“Technically, it’s a half lie. Because in truth, I did kill Edward Nashton. I’m the Riddler now.”

[disgruntledkittenface]

snippet

thank you @zanniscaramouche @nouies @allwaswell16 and @louisandtheaquarian for tagging me to share a snippet awhile ago and @crinkle-eyed-boo and @louandhazaf for tagging me today! I have a draft of my fic done and I’m in the getting feedback and editing phase and I cannot WAIT to share with you all. This is dedicated to everyone who voted in my poll to name the British socialite!

“What’s up, losers?”

Louis looks over his shoulder to see Luke emerge through the sliding glass door, followed closely by Stan. They’re both still in their suits from their day jobs, although without the ties. Stan walks up behind Louis and squeezes his shoulders as he says, “Sorry we’re late. My dad took the helicopter, so we had to drive.” There are a few groans of sympathy from around the table as Stan finds a seat and Luke walks around, clapping backs and exchanging high-fives.

“Hey, swish,” Luke says, jerking his chin at Harry, who’s wearing a Nike t-shirt under his open button-down. “How’s it hanging?”

“Swish?” Harry asks, his face a polite mask. 

Louis looks around the table, sure that he’s the only one who can tell that the comment bothered Harry.

“Yeah, man,” Luke says, plopping down into the seat across from Harry. “Every fucking time I’ve seen you, you’re wearing Nike. What, do you work for them or something? You’re like a walking billboard. So fucking lame, dude.”

“What’s fucking lame,” Niall pipes up from his seat across from Louis, “is you calling him ‘swish’ when the logo is called a ‘swoosh.’ If you’re going to be an asshole, at least do it correctly.”

Everyone laughs at that, and Rosanna comes out of the kitchen to bustle around the table, making sure that Stan and Luke have food. Luke may be a dick, but he knows better than to be rude to Harry or Niall in front of Rosanna, and he shuts up and starts in on his lobster while the conversation moves on around them. Louis catches him glaring at Harry a couple of times, though, and he bites his lip, worrying about what he might say later. 

When they’re done eating, Esteban lights the small fire in the pit and most of the group gathers around it. Luke wanders down to the dock to smoke a joint and Oli and Calvin call dibs on the first game of cornhole. Zayn sits on Louis’ left side, raving about a show at a gallery he went to the night before, while Liam and Sophia settle on his right, sharing a blanket as they chat with Stan and Niall across from them. Harry steps out of the sliding glass door to the kitchen, two bottles of rosé in hand.

“Oh, Harry,” Sophia calls out. “I meant to ask you, do you know a girl named Violet Spencer?”

Harry stumbles on an uneven patch of grass, laughing as he recovers and walks over to the group. He pulls a corkscrew out of his pocket and hands it to Stan along with one of the wine bottles.

“Sorry, Soph,” he says, sitting down. He rolls his eyes at himself. “Clumsy. What were you saying?”

“My cousin Jack, he’s over in East Hampton,” Sophia says, pulling the blanket up on her lap. “He’s dating this girl, Violet Spencer. Do you know her? Liam said you went to the same boarding school.”

“Yeah,” Liam says, taking a swig of wine and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “Wellington, right? She’s a couple of years younger than us, so you must have been there at the same time.”

Louis admires Harry as he props his chin in his hand, stroking his perfect upper lip with his forefinger while his brow furrows in thought. The light from the fire accentuates his sharp jawline, and Louis wishes he could bite him. Just a little.

“I don’t think so, no,” Harry says at last, shrugging. “Violet doesn’t ring a bell. There were a few Spencers there, maybe I knew her sister or cousin or something.” 

Zayn had fallen quiet as both he and Louis listened to the exchange, and when Louis turns back to him, he has a thoughtful expression on his face.

“What?” Louis asks, holding his glass out for Harry to top him off. 

“Nothing,” Zayn says brightly, snapping out of it, whatever it was. He smiles at Harry, holding his glass out too. “What was I saying? Oh, yeah, so the artist is in her nineties, but she just broke through with this show in the city a couple of months ago…”

I’ll tag @kingsofeverything @neondiamond @brightgolden @homosociallyyours @onlythebravest @hellolovers13 and @absoloutenonsense if you have something you want to share!

[arcplaysgames]

And the biggest problem I have with P4G...

The main character.

I think the main character of Persona 4 is actively bad. And I think the game paints itself into a corner by making him so fucking boring and non-emotive and non-reactive. He is the opposite of a catalyst in a game that needs forward momentum.

This becomes painfully obvious in the mid-to-late game, around when the entire Namatame thing happens, but it's present for the entire thing. All of the emotional pushes come from other characters. Chie and Yukiko worried about each other, Kanji worried about Naoto, Teddie and Rise driving their arc forward. Because the P4MC can't drive anything everywhere. They are purely reactive in a plot structure that doesn't deal well with reactive protagonists.

(For comparison, see how P3P is structured.)

Yosuke is the real protagonist of P4G. And yes, in universe, I love how this manifests, how you can feel Yosuke taking on more and more responsibility through the game. He takes in Teddie, he leads the team to Namatame, he works with Naoto to solve the case. His anger is one of the primary thrusts of the plot, and if you removed him, the ENTIRE story would fall apart because the MC has nothing.

I am an unabashed stan of FeMC in P3P. I thought she was the perfect balance of a proxy for the player while also having a lot of forward momentum. Also!!! As mentioned in the last post, having the people around her in SEES having their own shit going on frankly alleviates the need for her to carry the whole story!

I appreciate that P4G let me have fun as the MC and gave me some fun chaos options. But the dull void of the MC has bothered me for literally half the game.

Like, compare Yosuke and P4MC with Junpei and FeMC. It's stupid, but I felt real fucking camaraderie with Junpei! I cared about him and I felt like he was my fucking wingman in all things! Which let the game pull that masterful trick when Junpei gets his crisis of self-esteem and turned his back on me for several in-game weeks, I really felt that! But as much as I like Yosuke and P4MC, that exact same plot would not work with Yosuke because P4MC is just not enough of a character to pull it off.

Also, I will be a total asshole for a second. Why the fuck are you only allowed to be a boy in P4? It's actively asinine and if you are gonna make the MC such a blank slate, you can at least give me a blank slate with different fuckign pronouns. Nothing is gained from making P4MC a boy except to reaffirm the idea that Boys Are Default.

In a perfect world, Atlus would make the Persona 6 protagonist gender neutral. Just don't use gendered terms at all! Let the player decide who the fuck they are!

(MAN i am sad thinking about Junpei talking to FeMC like she's One of the Boys. I literally loved that shit so much.)

But yeah, I... did not like the P4MC and as a writer, I can feel the way the story struggles against the void of his existence and presence and how other characters have to compensate for those deficencies. Which becomes even more galling when the game tries to convince me what a cool and excellent guy he is.

SIGHS

Anyway. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed my time with P4G despite all my complaints. Persona 3 Portable Girl Route is just the better game.

[countrymusiclover]

34 - Peter Baelish

Part 35

Fire OF A Stark

@dragonixfrye

Someone knocked on my chamber door making me rub the sleep from my eyes. It was early in the city but most people were already awake and off at their jobs. The sun had finally risen enough in the sky where it was pouring through the windows when I slipped out of bed. Finding some trousers and one of Jaime’s shirts I answered the door not expecting to see my sister Sansa standing outside. “Sansa, what are you doing here this earlier. Is everything okay?”

“I just wanted to talk with you…the last time I heard your name I thought you were dead. I…I miss my sister.” She grasped her hands together in front of her gray dress. Her red hair was pinned up in a bun while mine was a knotted mess from last night with Jaime.

Tucking hair behind my ear I cleared my throat not having anything else really to do. Jaime was off training with Bronn and Tyrion was dealing with his father. Joanna was getting her breakfast too. “Sure. Let me change really quickly. You can come inside.” Moving back to the crate I pulled out a tunic shirt and some different trousers, tying the laces of my boots pining some of my hair up with a golden clip.

“So you’ve just decided to not wear dresses anymore?” She asked me sitting on the foot of my bed watching me.

Glancing over my shoulder I rummaged around the other crates searching for my sword. Whether we were still in the North or in the South I wouldn’t go anywhere without a weapon. After being captured and beaten multiple times I wouldn’t let anyone push me around anymore. “It’s stupid. You trip over yourself and it just makes most men want to sleep with you even more or beat the crap out of you.”

“Should ask what happened to you when you were captured with Ser Jaime…I mean if it’s sensitive I understand.” She locks gazes with me before I clipped my sword belt onto my hip offering her my right hand.

Looping my arm through hers I just started walking figuring that she would like time in the gardens. She always liked seeing the flowers that would bloom when it was too cold in the North. “You’re right I don’t want to talk about it. But there’s something I want you to know, sis. The world of the game of thrones is risky and you have to accept that you can be more than what everyone expects you to be.”

“You mean like you and Jaime? He lets you just do whatever you want.” My sister met my gaze with some confusion on her face. I could tell that she had grown up a little since I had last seen her. Joffrey had broken the innocence out of her the day he took our father’s head.

Pausing our walking through the garden I intertwined our hands together feeling my sword swaying when I turned to face her. She sent me a weak smile parting her lips secretly proud of how strong I seemed to have become. “Jaime has surprised me if I am being completely honest with you Sansa. He lost his hand and has become a better person than the man I first ever met on my wedding day. And I know it doesn’t seem like it now but Tyrion might be the guy that is right for you too.”

“Jaime! Stop it the Northern lords will hear us.” I struggled to hold in my giggling at the top of my lungs. He had tugged me upstairs and back to our chambers. I fell backwards onto the bed with him struggling to remove his shirt until I grabbed his hand holding it in mine. "We don't really have time for this you know Lannister."

He sends me a glare plopping down onto his back where I held myself up with my elbows shaking my head. "Well I'm sorry if my wife declaring who she really is makes me want to do this…be alone with you."

"We can later once we finish this war coming according to Jon. But whether we like it or not I am going to fight so our daughter has a good life." Squeezing his hand in mine he nodded leaning forward resting his forehead against mine until someone knocked on the door making us break apart.

Getting to my feet I opened the door only by a crack seeing that it was Little Finger standing outside. He nodded simply before he spoke up. "Lady Dragon, I was hoping we could speak privately."

"I don't really want to talk with you right now, Baelish." Crossing my arms over my chest I glared at the man. We hadn't discussed anything more about our sort of arrangement since we had to deal with Ramsay. Jaime and I hadn’t even had a chance to think about what I had signed our daughter up for.

Jaime sat up on the bed getting to his feet coming to stand behind me wrapping his arms around my waist in the middle resting his chin on my shoulder since he was taller. “What do you want to discuss with my wife, Little Finger?”

“I assume she has shared with you the arrangement we settled on so that I would help aid Lady Sansa in her quest to remove Ramsay Bolton from keeping control of this castle and its citizens.” He replied, shifting his shoulders a little.

Jaime snickered in my ear, making me send him a slight glare from the corner of my eye. “You’re talking about marrying off my infant daughter to a young child who is almost becoming of age.”

Jaime was right about that it was weird. It would make more sense if Robin Arryn was an infant too but he isn’t. Even if we still agree to have them wed, Robin would be almost as old as Jaime. It worked for us but that’s not the case for everyone. “Baelish, I don’t think our deal can still stand. I didn’t even agree to the arrangement. You only spoke of it as a suggestion but we never made it official.”

“Then we need to make this a done deal before I have another house come offering their daughter up-“ Little Finger tries to say until the guards open our door beginning to drag him backwards. Jaime and I both shared the same confusing look chasing after the guards that were holding him.

Moving through the halls as fast as I could I gasped in great emotion seeing someone that I never expected to see ever again. “Arya! Seven hells you’re alive!” I cheered seeing the young girl standing before me still seeing that she was carrying the tiny sword that Jon had given her.

“Cadence!” She ran forward throwing her arms around my neck. Wrapping my arms around her I buried my face in her hair relieved that she was actually alive. Pulling away from the hug she eyed Jaime slightly confused. “You’re still with him. Why is he here to fight for the North?”

Jaime dropped his hands at his sides seeing that there was a handmaiden coming over carrying our daughter until I took her from her arms. “I intend to fight beside my wife and wherever she takes our daughter. Littlest Stark this is Rhaenyra Lannister.”

“She’s adorable. I like the name a good choice.” My youngest smiled before she heard someone coming over to us where I started crying even more seeing someone else I longed to reunite with.

The person in the wheelchair was none other than Bran, the last living Stark boy of the North. The boy was fully grown now but he was still paralyzed by what Jaime had done years ago. Arya takes the baby from my arms seeing that I would nearly drop her when I fling my arms around his neck sobbing heavily. “I have missed you, Lynesse. When I became the three eyed raven I saw all of what you have been through. You have also helped Ser Jaime to be better.”

Bran and I broke our hug before I saw the guards release Baelish right in front of Sansa. Taking Rhaenyra from my younger sister's arms, Jaime and I moved to sit down beside her knowing that whatever was about to happen wouldn’t be good. “You stand accused of murder. You stand accused of treason. How do you answer these charges…”

“Lady Sansa, forgive me...I'm a bit confused.” He responded back slightly confused.

My sister sat back in her chair sternly speaking to him. “Which charges confuse you? Let's start with the simplest one...you murder our aunt, Lysa Arryn. You pushed her through the Moon Door and watched her fall. Do you deny it?”

“I did it to protect you.” He attempted to defend himself.

Yet she didn’t believe him and I was proud of her that she wasn’t so native anymore. The innocent girl was learning how to play the game of thrones. “You did it to take power in the Vale. Earlier, you conspired to murder Jon Arryn. You gave Lysa Tears of Lys to poison him. Do you deny it?”

“Whatever your aunt might have told you...she was a troubled woman. She imagined enemies everywhere.” Baelish stepped forward carefully wording his words.

Jaime and I shared a glance where I placed my hand over his seeing that he was making it into a fist. "You had Aunt Lysa send a letter to our parents telling them it was the Lannisters who murder Jon Arryn when, really, it was you. The conflict between the Starks and the Lannisters, it was you who started it. Do you deny it? You conspired with Cersei Lannister and Joffrey Baratheon to betray our father, Ned Stark. Thanks to your treachery, he was imprisoned and later executed on false charges of treason. Do you deny it?”

“I deny it!” Little Finger shouted where I heard his voice break. My sister was right though everything that broke my chosen family apart was all his fault. “None of you were there to see what happened. None of you knows the truth.”

Bran suddenly spoke up with him being on the other side of Sansa. “You held a knife to his throat. You said, "I did warn you not to trust me."

“You told our mother this knife belonged to Tyrion Lannister. But that was another one of your lies. It was yours.” Arya was standing behind him while she drew a small blade that was inside her fighting gear.

Baelish moved forward putting his hands on the table trying to get my sister to rethink her decision. “If we could speak alone, I can explain everything.”

“Sometimes when I'm trying to understand a person's motives, I play a little game. I assume the worst. What's the worst reason you have for turning me against my sister? That's what you do, isn't it? That's what you've always done... turn family against family, turn sister against sister. That's what you did to our mother and Aunt Lysa, and that's what you tried to do to us.” Sansa rose to her feet when he stumbled backwards looking around the room at all the others watching the scene before them.

Little Finger turned to me and Jaime but I hugged Rhaenyra closer to my chest not wanting Robin Arryn to be anywhere near us. Who knows what that man has been telling the child. “Sansa. Lynesse, please….I can ensure the safety of that child.”

“I don’t believe anything you say. I have grown up and learned how people like you think and get others to think you’re so clever. Yet now you will face the consequences of what you have done.” Glaring at him, Jaime squeezed my knee not needing to say anything.

Baelish cracked his voice. “Sansa, I beg you! I loved your mother since the time I was a boy. “

“And yet, you betrayed her….if you truly loved her you wouldn’t have done such a thing. You’re lucky that I don’t release my dragon on you Baelish!” I snapped quickly cutting him off, glaring at the man directly.

He shook his head begging my sister again. “I loved you. More than anyone.”

“And yet, you betrayed me. When you brought me back to Winterfell, you told me there's no justice in the world, not unless we make it. Thank you for all your many lessons, Lord Baelish. I will never forget them.” Sansa moved around the table standing very close to the man who was now begging on his knees for his life.

Arya stepped forward quickly, cutting his throat with her blade, silencing his final words. “Sansa!”

Comments really appreciated ❤️

[valentinejaes]

bias tag game

tagged by: @lee-minhoe (ty beloved 💜)

rules: you're going to pick 10 of your biases (or as many biases as you have and then fill in the rest of the spots with idols you like) and number them 1-10, then answer the questions below. try not to look at the questions before you make your list!

tagging (ofc only if you want to): @cheolmatez @sunminshine @boobzi @kimsmingyu @janggtoco @choiyeonjuns +anyone else who sees this and wants to do it!! Pls tag me if you do 🫶🏻

questions below the cut

My Bias List (narrowing down to 10 biases was an impossible ask. I'm still very much in my exo brainrot so I have all 3 of my exo biases on this and also moon taeil ily. Also sorry to all the women I bias. I could literally make a list of 10 gg biases and do this a 2nd time):

Baekhyun

Taeil

Jongin

Chanyeol

Minho (shinee)

Dokyeom

Wonwoo

Haechan

Donghun

Kihyun

QUESTIONS

1. Between 7 and 5, who did you bias first?

Minho. Choi Minho is my og bias wrecker. Plus I started stanning shinee in 2010 before seventeen was even a thing. Wonwoo was just a babe in the woods at that point 😂

2. Between 2 and 6, who are you more attached to?

TAEIL v. DOKYEOM?? Well, it should come as no surprise to anyone but the answer is Moon Taeil. I adore that man with my whole being (I hope he's recovering and resting well rn). Lee Seokmin is very important to me too, but he was up against my moon man and stood no chance. Sorry, DK 💔

3. If you were to spend the day with either 3 or 1, who would you choose and what would you do?

I have to pick between Kim Jongin and Byun Baekhyun??? This game is rude 😒 but ofc I'm choosing Baekhyun. Mel had a really cute answer to this that I'm not going to be able to compare to. But I feel like Baek just needs a break. So I'd probably choose to do something chill (I say as tho I wouldn't be a basket case and like I can speak Korean). Maybe go to a coffee place, preferably one with baked goods, near a park or a river and just take our coffee (and pastries) to a nice spot to chill and talk. Maybe get some pizza for lunch. Play some video games (truthfully I'd probably just watch HIM play since I only play single player games due to being shit at them). Idk 🤷‍♀️ I'm bad at this lmao

4. What is your favorite physical feature about 9?

HIS SMILE!! I know he's known for his sad eyes while singing but COME ON!! LOOK AT HIM 🥺 (yes, I'm stealing mel's idea of including a picture, but mostly bc more people should know and love Donghun)

5. What is your favorite part of 6's personality?

Dokyeom is like the literal embodiment of sunshine. He is so bright and happy!! You can tell he loves life and finds joy in little things. His laughter and smile is such a serotonin boost! I know that he feels and thinks about things deeply and can be a little (a lot) hard on himself. But he's got this big, big heart. I just love how full of light he is, yk?

7. Between 1 and 2, whose closet would you raid?

Why do I feel like neither Baekhyun nor Taeil have much that I would want to raid from their closets? 🤔 idk that I pay that close attention to their own personal styles either tbh. I think I'm picking Baek tho. I don't have a great reason other than I know he's always wearing these oversized things. And oversized clothes are cozy 🤷‍♀️ I'm stealing one of that man's hoodies and keeping it for the rest of my life thanks so much

8. What is a style that you want to see 3 try?

I don't feel like I have any notes for Mr. Gucci. Jongin has a much better grasp on fashion than I do. AND he's done pretty much everything and can pull off the craziest things.

9. Between 5 and 4, who are you closer to in height?

Minho, but I'm not actually close to his height either. Chanyeol's just a tol boy™️

10. Between 10 and 9, whose music do you like the best?

Oh man this is such a difficult question. Out of the 2, Kihyun's the only one with solo work. But Donghun's voice is SOOO 👌🏻💯🤧👏🏻👍🏻 I feel similarly about Kihyun's voice tho. If we're saying between a.c.e's music and monsta x's tho...?? I *think* I'm choosing a.c.e's, but kihyun's solos are so good 😭😭 this is such an impossible decision to make 🙃

[prettyinpwn]

Gravity Falls + Overwatch Headcanons

Not sure if anyone else in the Gravity Falls fandom plays Overwatch, but I was sitting here wondering what/how each GF character would play. I know for 99.99% certain Ford would at least play Sigma, but I was curious about the other characters. So far I’ve thought...

Ford:

Mainly plays Tank and Support; mains Sigma (because deep voiced astrophysicist in his 60s who causes gravity anomalies? yes), but will also play Winston, Ana for Support, and maybe a little Widow for DPS. Despite Ford using a pistol most of the time, he feels like someone who’d be a sniper type to me. Fantastic tactically as a Tank, likely makes callouts when Dipper isn’t. As Support or DPS, you never see him coming, very sneaky.

Protective in an indirect way; someone will be going after a teammate and - especially if it’s Dipper, Mabel, or Stan getting threatened - he just instantly wipes them when they least expect it, especially when playing Widow. Plays as a way to wind down after all the science. Plans potential plays in his spare time with complex diagrams of OW maps and runs games like experiments to test his strategy hypotheses. When someone not on his team rages at him or someone in his group over mic, he spends as much time as he can calmly schooling the shit out of them, but will admit fault if he did make a mistake.

Stan:

Like Ford, but leans Tank+DPS rather than Tank+Support. Reinhardt (protective old man), Roadhog (because every time he hooks and insta-kills someone he can scream LEFT HOOK!), Doomfist for punches and additional left hooks, Cassidy because cowboys and cigars, and Soldier: 76 for those jaded, grizzled older man vibes. If he had to play Support, he’d probably play Brig for the brawl fun. Protective as hell. Does not care about being sneaky like Ford, he’ll jump right into the fray and cause mayhem.

Doesn’t make callouts but always is watchful over teammates, especially Mabel, Dipper, and Ford. A bit reckless - often Reinhardt charges and sacrifices himself off the map to protect someone. Hard as hell to kill otherwise. When playing Soldier: 76, will often drop healing packs specifically for Mabel and Dipper (”Here ya go, pumpkin/kiddo.”). If anyone outside of his team rages at him/a group member over mic, he tells Mabel and Dipper to cover their ears and lets loose.

Mabel:

Easily will play any role, probably tries every character, but likes Junker Queen, Zarya (pink hair!), Reinhardt, Mei, and Lucio for either badass/tough lady characters or more upbeat characters. Probably tanks the most. May play Widow on occasion for grappling hook reasons. Often yells “I AM THE GOD OF DESTRUCTION!” whenever she pulls off a good play/ult, especially with Reinhardt. Loves booping people off the map with Lucio. Loves to collect skins and always wears the most colorful ones. If she loses a match, she always stays positive and thinks, “Oh well, my skin was better, so I won the fashion match!”.

Not as reckless as her Grunkle Stan, but sometimes will do certain plays because they sounded fun to try rather than it making logical sense. Scary as hell to play against when she’s Rein (all fear the Rein known as RainbowSparklz31). Her and Dipper coordinate a lot and always play better together. If someone rages at her on mic, she just compliments them until they explode into salt. “OMG TANK DIFF YOU LOST US THE MATCH!” and she’s just like, “Oh, you played really well! I loved your skin! Wanna be friends?” until they ragequit and she just giggles.

Dipper:

This one’s harder... but I think Dipper would actually lean Support the most, maybe a little DPS. I think he’d try to focus on being equally good at all of them for adaptability, but may lean Zenyatta, Baptiste, and Mercy (people make fun of him for playing the stereotypical “girl gamer character”, but Dipper doesn’t care because he enjoys the positioning/ability usage skill Mercy requires, plus likely is the one calling out stuff tactically). For DPS, for some reason I see Reaper, Symmetra, and Tracer. If he has to play Tank, he probably plays Winston like Ford or Orisa.

Enjoys coordinating all of his skins, highlight intros, and emotes. Works with Ford on strategy plans for the rest of the team, and is fantastic at callouts and leading the team (better than Ford even, because as smart as Ford is, Dipper’s been playing video games his whole life). Goes out of his way to help Mabel the most, but also helps Stan and Ford out a lot too, of course. When people rage at him on mic he’s the only member of the Pines family that gets a little offended/hurt, but Stan will step in and swear at someone for him.

McGucket:

Torbjörn onetrick. Torbjörn on attack, Torbjörn on defense. Torbjörn everywhere, all the time. Maybe Junkrat or Bastion if he’s forced to switch. People will rage at him to switch off Torb and he just adds them to his next “make a weapon of mass destruction and unleash it for revenge” list. Cackles whenever he ults. Rambles off hillbilly curses when he dies. Always on mic and doesn’t care if he makes too much noise. Plays his banjo on mic between matches. The banjo music intensifies if it’s just after a lost match.

Soos:

You know this sweetheart is a Support main, with some Tank. Loves Kiriko for the anime vibes, Lucio because DJ r-r-r-right, and Mercy because reasons. Unfortunately, as passionate as he is about the game, he’s not always the best. He’ll go to res someone as Mercy, like “Dood, I got you! Hold o-” and then gets sniped almost every time. But Soos means so well and is such a positive, supportive teammate no one cares that he is a little lower skilled. He’s the team cheerleader and everyone else plays worse when he’s not there. For Tank, he’d probably play Wrecking Ball (hamster teeth man) and D.Va (Korean anime girl). If he had to play DPS, he’d play Genji or Hanzo because also anime reasons.

Wendy:

Tank and DPS, mostly Junker Queen (axes man), Sombra, and Sojourn. Goes for the showy/badass type kills, is insanely good at DPS, but also wrecks with JQ. Doesn’t take the game too seriously but will step in to play if the Pines+ team needs another player if someone has to step out for a week. Will play Brig or Moira if she has to play Support. Great role flexer and person to fill in for any role the Pines+ team needs filled.

Pacifica:

She canonically is an ace WoW and/or Overwatch player:

Probably the best member of the Pines+ team. Kicks ass, is at a higher rank (probably GM) but will play with the Pines+ team down on their rank because they’re more fun to play with. I can see her playing DPS mostly. Plays Ashe because rich girl with a robot butler, Echo, and Widow. Is a perfectionist because of her upbringing, so gets upset with herself if she fails or loses a match. Practices Widow with Ford in custom game headshot matches, and she often gives him pointers because she’s the better Widow. Also often works with Dipper as a Widow/Ashe/Echo+Mercy duo, Dipper damage boosting her while she shreds people. Refuses to play Support or Tank, and no one minds because she’s so good at DPS that it’s asking to lose if she were to play a different role.

Bill Cipher:

A chance to possess and control a digital fleshbag? Sign him up! Obviously not on the Pines+ team, but manipulates the matchmaking to oppose them and troll them on occasion. He especially likes to hard focus on Ford and Dipper (cue his Genji harassing Dipper’s Mercy). Is good at every character because he KNOWS LOTS OF THINGS, but likes Ana, Torb, Genji, Bastion, and Reinhardt simply because they’re one-eyed (or nearly/look that way) characters. Screams about needing healing 24/7. Uses mic to tell other players un-fun facts about their life that he shouldn’t know (”You’re sassing me? You’re the one who’s gonna die at the age of 45 while sobbing on the toilet!”). Will emote at the worst times. T-bags players incessantly, even those on his own team to mock them for dying. Mei ice wall blocks team members in spawn. You don’t want him on your team, nor do you want to play against him.

Gideon:

Tank one-trick because he can finally feel tall. Rammatra for rage, Wrecking Ball to smash and knock people around. May play Reaper, but isn’t very good at him, and rage switches to Bastion to shred players when things aren’t going his way. If he’s forced to play Support, that left click ain’t getting used, because it’s DPS Moira all the way. He doesn’t need to heal, the DPS and Tanks just need to get out of his way or be useful meat shields. Incoherently screams on mic when mad, which is 99% of the time. Threatens to send prison gang buddies after players who insult him.