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#stag shenanigans
stagmalinay · 3 months
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I'd never seen an ocean before I came here, but it's pretty cool. And then I'm told we can ride the waves? Oh, you can bet I was all over that. Took me a minute to get the hang of it, but I got it. Gotta say, I know Thera doesn't have beaches, but it really oughta have one. Sunbathing, surfing, rebuilding a spaceship, all very interesting and new experiences for me. I get the feeling we were isekai'd into the book we opened, but I'll keep that to myself for now. Besides, it could be any other number of things when I'm in a world full of magic and mystery.
I'm having a lot of fun trying to survive on a deserted island and Stitch is such an interesting creature. I sort of want to ask Crowley if I can keep him. He seems really useful and would probably fit into Ramshackle dorm rather nicely. Anyway, we've just finished gathering up some more supplies for the day and I'm going to try to convince everyone to go surfing again. Catch ya later!
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solarsavoy · 1 year
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In that case, I'd like to request an extra spicy NSFW pic of Deshi. For... personal reasons.
No.
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lil-kozy-kollector · 9 months
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I got my first (and second!) Squishables ever today for christmas!! I'm so happy to finally have a brand of stuffed animals that's very cool and has great rep!! The stag beetle is my favorite!!🥺
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storm-called · 2 years
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remembered that these two gay idiots (affectionate) existed
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He’s prancing around in his little deer form partially to annoy /tease Alastor and partially cause it’s fun to hop around not have to worry about an extra long tail.
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pondermoniums · 7 months
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🐍 Of Snakes and Stags 🦌 - HP but make it a horror genre and supremely queer - ch. 19!
• • • Preview • • •
McGonagall resigned, “I will be taking fifty points from our house.”
Ron blurted, “Fifty? ”
“Each,” she punished. Ron’s mouth shut tight. Hermione visibly deflated, defeated by this news. Harry, however… “Mr. Potter. You seem entirely unbothered by this.”
Harry was the only one who met her gaze steadily. He admitted, “I don’t actually know what the points are that teachers keep talking about.”
Draco frowned. How does he not know what they are when Snape constantly takes them from him?
“House points, Mr. Potter. You and your fellow classmates work together all year to earn as many points as possible. The winner achieves the House Cup.”
“What’s that?”
“A cup typically refers to a trophy,” McGonagall informed flatly.
“That’s it?”
Her gaze narrowed on him. “Pardon?”
“The winners don’t get a…special dinner in their dormitory or something? A cake?”
To their credit, Ron and Hermione stared at him like they were ready for him to return to silence as well. McGonagall lifted a brow at him. “Lacklustre, though it may be for you, Mr. Potter, the House Cup matters greatly to your peers. That makes fifty from each of you, and the four of you will serve detention tomorrow evening, while the season is still tolerant.”
Four?
Draco’s eyes snapped between the three and he stepped forward, doing his best to sound polite even while his brain rushed without him, “I’m sorry—four, professor?”
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author-morgan · 7 months
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Title: A Dove and a Hound Rating: T Pairing: Sandor Clegane x fem!Reader Summary: A little dove with broken wings must save her wounded Hound. Or in which Sandor Clegane finds something sweeter than killing. Word count: ~3.7k Warnings: Injury/blood and typical Westerosi shenanigans.
ARYA STARK LOOKS at the bleak landscape around where they had made camp for the night in the northern Riverlands—almost in the Vale. It’s all craggy with sharp boulders and high patches of land, and hardly any trees. The names roll off her tongue as they do every night. The Mountain, The Hound, Cersei, Illyn Payne, Meryn Trant...she doesn’t make it to the next name after hearing the scraping of boots on rock nearby. Quiet as a shadow. Fear cuts deeper than swords. Quick as a snake. Calm as still water. Syrio Forel’s words are burnt into her memory. 
"What’re you going on about now, girl?" The rasp of the Hound's voice makes her jump, and she curses him, looking up at the night sky, watching for shadows when she hears the soft noise again.
“We’re being watched,” she tells him, turning on her bedroll to face the Hound, her hand resting on the hilt of Needle.
His laugh cuts through the air—a rough sound that hurts her ears in a strange way. A man like the Hound should never laugh. "Here, in the middle of fucking nowhere?" His scarred face looks all the more hideous with the light of the fire licking at his skin. "Finish your little list, girl, then go the fuck to sleep." Arya frowns and looks around again at the land but sees nothing but boulders and empty plains, but she knows someone is out there. 
Sandor Clegane won’t admit it, but the Stark girl’s warning is the reason he stays up for over half the night. Then, when he’s certain Arya is asleep, he rises from his bedroll and unsheathes his sword, setting off to search between boulders and in the shadows cast by their dwindling campfire. But there’s nothing there. The Hound moves to return to his bedroll, but that’s when he hears quiet cursing and soft crying. And then he finds a woman huddled between two rocks, trying to nurse an injured leg. 
You see the hulking shadow approach too late to muffle your grunts and groans of pain. “Come any closer and I’ll put a fucking arrow through your eye!” You shout. But Sandor Clegane can see the bow in your hand is broken, even if you try to hold the two wooden pieces together to make it seem whole. Then he sees the broken arrow shaft sticking out of your swollen calf, too—the reason for your caterwauling. 
“With a broken bow and the only arrow you got stuck in your leg?” The Hound asks, laughing. “Pay a couple of hundred silver stags to see that done.” Sandor drives his sword into the dirt and awkwardly kneels near you, looking over the wound. He can feel your eyes on him, gaze nigh burning. But the soft white light of the moon softens the sight of his half-burned face. He looks familiar. Like you’ve seen him in passing somewhere—or maybe on the parchments nailed outside taverns noting bounties and the enemies of the Crown. 
You swallow the knot in your throat and look up at him—you might not be able to place who he is, but you know he’s dangerous, a killer. “Well, go on,” you snap, tears stinging in your eyes. “Kill me and get it over with.”
The Hound recoils as though stung by the words—he knows he’s put a lot of people in the ground, but for some damn reason, he can’t stomach the thought of landing the mercy blow now. You close your eyes and wait—no longer fearing death or pain. But the cold bite of steel never comes. Instead, Sandor Clegane lifts you into his burly arms and heads back toward the dying campfire.
Arya’s surprised when the Hound returns and lets you down to rest against the boulder nearest the fire. The girl’s quick on her feet, bringing a half-filled skin of water, and you greedily drink. "Think I'll end up losing it?" You ask the girl—wiping your mouth with a torn sleeve—a glint of humor shining through as you pat your thigh, ignoring the sharp jolt of pain that shoots down to your calf and makes your toes curl. 
“If you’ve gone this long” —Sandor crouches down and looks closer at your injury— “it’ll take more than an arrow to kill you,” he says. It earns him a dry and humorless laugh with a surprising grimness. Given enough time, he thinks he could come to enjoy the company, but right now, he and Arya Stark are already pressed for time, luck, and coin. Neither of them needs the liability of an injured woman—another mouth to feed—on the path to the Eyrie. Be best to leave her come the morning, he thinks, but now that he’s brought you back here, he knows the Stark girl won’t let that happen.
“May I have your name, good ser?” You finally ask—it only seemed proper to know the name of your white knight.  
Sandor Clegane looks at you, and the firelight paints the tangled and twisted mass of scars on his face red—pocking the flesh with craters and cracks. “Not a fucking knight,” he bites back.
And then you can piece everything together—his brute size, the burned half of his face, the posters scattered around the Riverlands. The rumors people whispered are true then, you think. Joffrey’s dog tucked tail and ran while the Blackwater burned. “You’re The Hound.” He grunts. You glance at the girl staring down at you with wide ice-grey eyes. If he’s the Hound then... “You’re Arya Stark.” The girl nods.
The silence that grows between the three of you is heavy and tense. You shift and grimace again. Then your gaze flits back over to the Hound. “Well, are you going to help me get this arrow out my fucking leg or not?” You ask, not understanding why he hauled you back here if he didn’t mean to do something about your current state. “'Cause if you aren’t, I’d sooner you cut the damn thing off or put me out of my misery.”
Sandor moves to you after that and cuts away the fabric of your britches from the arrow, then calls Arya over to set his dagger in the flames—unwilling to go closer. She does as he says, pushing the blade into the hot coals, but then Arya Stark leaps to her feet when she sees Sandor’s hand grip the shaft of the arrow—like he means to tear it from flesh. She knocks his hand away then pushes back on his shoulder, almost hard enough to knock him off balance from where he sits on his haunches. 
“We can’t just pull it out!” She tells the Hound like it should be obvious. But he’s not the one who grew up with a maester in Winterfell or spent time reading any books.  
“Then how you gone get it out, girl?” He asks, gruff and impatient. You glance between the odd pair, wondering how they haven’t killed one another by now. Arya crouches down and prods the swollen and bloody flesh, then without warning, she grips the arrow shaft and breaks off the fletching. Seven hells, you think, biting down on the inside of your cheek to keep a wail of pain at bay, I am going to lose my leg. 
“Push it through,” Arya says, remembering the time she watched Maester Luwin remove an arrow from a hunter's shoulder. The Hound grunts and draws a second, smaller dagger, starting to whittle away at the splintered end of the broken arrow shaft. 
Arya goes to fetch more water and brings back a cloth with her before settling down to watch with wide, curious eyes. Blood starts to seep down your calf around the entry and exit of the arrow shaft from being handled so roughly. Satisfied with his woodwork, the Hound steadies your leg against his trunk and starts to pull on the iron-forged arrowhead. 
You grit your teeth together, fingers digging into the soft earth below, as he begins to ease the wooden shaft through gently and quickly as he can. Arya watches your face twist in pain, but somehow, you don’t cry out. It feels like an eternity. Sandor sets the arrow aside and takes the waterskin from the Stark girl, dumping the cool water over your leg to wash away the blood—there’s a cool but welcome sting.
Sandor tosses the empty skin back to Arya. "More water, girl,” he rasps. 
“Bring wine too,” you insist, and the Hound howls with laughter.
“Seven hells,” Arya remarks. You’re just like him. The girl heads off, then comes back with more water and looks at the open wound on your leg with a scrunched-up nose. 
“Needs to be sealed with fire,” Sandor says, sitting back on his haunches, that’s why he already had Arya put a dagger into the flames. They don’t have salves and ointments and teas and brews to keep infection at bay, and despite his fear and hatred of the fire, he knows it’s the best way to clean and seal a wound like this.
“I’ll do it,” Arya offers. Her hands are steady, and the fire and heat don’t bother her like it does the Hound. He nods, and the girl goes to fetch the hot knife. They give you a strip of leather to bite down on, and then the Hound looks away when the girl presses the flat of the blade against your flesh—you do scream then. He knows that pain—that scream—and the putrid scent of burning flesh that jumps into the air. Black dots and white stars dance around in your vision. It hurts worse the second time. But you fight through it. 
Your gaze settles on Arya after a while, struggling to stay awake. “Where are you taking her?” You ask, eyes flitting to Sandor Clegane. The two are an odd traveling party that much is certain—a Hound and a wolf—made even stranger by your sudden arrival. 
“The Vale,” he tells you, “she has an aunt there.” You hadn’t expected a man with his reputation to do something so kind, not even if heavy coin purses were offered as rewards. A hush falls over you, but then the Hound rises and picks up a threadbare blanket from his bedroll. He drapes it over your shoulders, not ungently. “Best get some rest,” he says. “It’ll hurt worse tomorrow.”
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THE DAYS ARE both quick and slow to pass, and soon, you’ve lost track of the time since meeting Arya Stark and the Hound—it could have been a few weeks or maybe months. But since that fateful night, your wounds have healed cleanly, and the only reminders of them are a fading scar and the limp in your stride after long days or over strenuous terrain. You remember the first time you insisted on walking instead of riding Stranger—a great black, unruly destrier. When you slowed, Sandor Clegane slung you over his shoulder like a sack of flour before depositing you back on the horse and complaining about the slow pace. Arya Stark was particularly amused by it all. 
Disappointment is all that awaits you all at the Bloody Gate of the Vale. Lysa Arryn is dead, and her young son and named protector, Petyr Baelish, will not accept visitors—not even one of Lysa’s own kin. So at the point of arrowheads and tips of steel blades, the Hound turns back, and you and Arya follow, trekking through the Vale and back to the Riverlands, unsure of what to do and where to go. Arya says they should go north, to the Wall—she has a brother in the Night’s Watch—or across the Narrow Sea.
There’s a small village not far, and you take a handful of silver stags and copper stars in hopes of replenishing your stock of ointments and bandages—especially with the now festering wound on Sandor’s neck, a nasty bite from a rogue—and maybe a decent bottle of wine or ale too. But by the time the sun is beginning to set and you return to Sandor and Arya, they’re not to be found. 
The campsite is empty. The fire still burning. The bedrolls laid out for the coming evening. You look around the craggy landscape, feeling panic seize your heart and stomach—mind racing. “Arya!” You shout, but there is no response from the girl. “Sandor!” And again, there is nothing but silence.
If not for the fading evening sun glinting off tarnished pieces of silver armor, you think you might not have found him. You stumble over to him, kneeling at his side, fearing the worst. But his chest still rises and falls, and he starts when you touch his cheek, hand wrapping around your wrist, leaving a thick smearing of blood. 
There’s something in your eyes, not pity, but he’s not seen that look before —almost doesn’t want to think of what it could be, could mean. Sandor’s grip goes slack, and he grimaces, each breath a ragged rasp. You look over his mangled shoulder, the bruises and scrapes on his face, the muscle-deep cuts on his palm, and his lame leg. These wounds are beyond your skills, and there are not like to be any travelers on this path for days.
The Hound tugs free a dagger from his belt and places it in your hand. "Go on,” he rasps, nodding toward the knife, resigned to his new fate. “Get on with it." The Stark girl wouldn’t put him out of his misery for the hatred she still bore toward him, but maybe you would. 
Your fingers curl around the hilt of the blade, grip tightening, but frozen in place—unwilling and unable to move. "I can't," you breathe, fervidly shaking your head. I won’t. He curses you when you drive the blade into the hard earth and not his heart. Sandor Clegane saved you from certain death, and now you’ve a chance to return the favor.
You wet a strip of cloth and dab it over his bloodied face until he turns his head to look at you. "If you think I'm some wounded pup you can redeem, you're stupider than I thought, woman,” he snarls like an aggrieved dog. 
But you don’t pay any mind to his hateful words. “Be still,” you chide, gently, going to collect the pack of supplies from Stranger’s saddle. The Dornish strongwine eases the pain, and he lets you clean the rest of the cuts and bruises to the best of your abilities —his broken leg, though. You aren’t sure what to do, but you know if something isn’t done soon, Sandor Clegane won’t be using that leg again in this lifetime. You lose track of how many times you have to wander down to the nearby stream. All you know is the limp in your step has come back. By nightfall, the wine and pain claim him, and you’ve said your prayers to the Seven, asking them to spare your poor wounded Hound.
There’s a dim lantern on the dark horizon, steadily drawing nearer and brighter, and then you can hear the rattling of a cart and the braying of a mule. You rise from your post and go to intercept the rickety cart thumping along the winding trail. The mule comes to a halt—the path forward blocked. 
The driver has a kind face, rounded from smiles and wrinkled with wisdom, and eyes that are deep and thoughtful but speak of the horrors of the world. “A lady and her knight,” he muses, sparing a glance at the makeshift medicinal supplies illuminated by faint firelight and the state of the brutish man sleeping—half-dead more like.
“Can you help us?” You ask. “Please.” And the broken plea strikes something deep down in the man’s heart.  
He thinks on it for a moment. “Aye,” the man says, “I can try.” If he couldn’t, the others on the Quiet Isle could—especially the Elder Brother. His dusty brown robes dust across the rocky ground as he goes to the Hound’s side. It takes all your strength combined to lift Sandor Clegane into the cart—even with the weight of his armor gone. Then you clamber to the front of the cart next to Sandor, letting his head rest in your lap, and with a snap of the reins, the mule walks on again, heading south along the bumpy road—it would be a long night.
Weary and exhausted, you look between the Hound and the driver. “Who are you?” 
“You can call me Ray,” the kindly man says. “I’ll take you both to the Quiet Isle. The Elder Brother can help.” You’ve heard tales of the isle—where men go to atone for their sins and take vows of silence. Some even say those who reside in the Bay of Crabs live in a world unlike the one ravished by war and pain. Brother Ray can see the growing trepidation on your expression. It’s nigh common knowledge women are not allowed to dwell on the Quiet Isle. “Won’t force you and your knight to be parted,” he tells you. 
“He’s not a knight,” you murmur, eyes trailing from the road ahead to Sandor, knowing he doesn’t like being called a knight—and for good reason. 
“No, but it seems he’s your knight,” Ray says with a chuckle, sparing a wayward glance back at you and the Hound. You flush at the thought and turn your gaze to Sandor, his head resting on your thigh.
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A FEW MONTHS pass and Sandor is as well as he’ll ever be. The damage done to his leg makes him limp after long distances or strenuous tasks, but no one would be able to say such injuries made the Hound a feeble man. Even now, you’ve never seen a man split firewood with so much power and anger. Sometimes, you wonder if he hates you for not ending it when he pleaded for the blade’s mercy. But on the day when the brothers let you see him again, he wore a fleeting smile, soft and weak—the first time you’d seen such a sight. 
Storms roll in for the night, and lightning flashes through the window—thunder rattling your featherbed. You pull the covers tighter, squeezing your eyes shut, praying for sleep to come. It feels childish to be afeared of a storm, but it’s a reminder of the night the Lannister men destroyed your home and family and put an arrow in your leg. Rousing from the uneasy rest, you pull on your dressing robe and wrap the wool and linen blanket around your shoulders before setting off in search of company. 
His bed is empty, and you frown. Disheartened, you turn back only to bump into a solid wall of flesh and muscle. No man his size had a right to move around so quietly. “What are you doing awake, little dove?” Sandor asks, and you’re unable to meet his gaze with your flushed cheeks as you search for a valid answer. “Can’t sleep?” He surmises, and grateful he spake first, you nod sheepishly. The hand that wraps around your wrist is warm and calloused, yet his touch is light—as though you’re some bird with a broken wing. But wordless, you climb onto the bed next to Sandor, still huddled under your blanket, but not alone, and even with the storm raging outside, within these walls with him, you’re safe. 
The morning light breaks through the small window—only glowing embers remain in the hearth, not enough to chase away the chill in the air. You wake to find yourself alone, and it sends a strange pang of sadness through your heart. Making your way back to your chambers, you change into a plane shift and stride from the cottage to find him—the wet grass tickling the soles of your feet as you head down a winding path toward the water’s edge.
Sandor is sitting down on the rocky shore of the island, his dusty brown cloak fluttering in the wind. You go to him and sit on the weathered rock next to him. The morning is cool, and the spray of waves breaking against rocks in the bay kisses your cheeks. Wordlessly, the Hound pulls his cloak free and drapes it around your shoulders. In comfortable silence, you pull the coarse material tight and rest your head against his arm, looking out over the water and the clear blue sky—as though the Old Gods had not unleashed their wrath upon the land last night.
After a long while, Sandor rises, knowing it’ll be time to head to the Sept and see what tasks the Brothers need help with today. You’re quick to follow after him, but before he can start up the rocky path again, you brush your hand against his with all the timidness of a mouse, daring to have a lingering touch as you gather the nerve to ask something that’s been festering in the pit of your stomach, in the darkest parts of your mind and the deepest parts of your heart. You take both his hands—rough and twice the size of your own—and look up at the Hound. "Sandor,” you breathe, his name like a birdsong in your voice, “will you kiss me?"
He laughs—thinking you are playing him for a fool. No sane woman would ever wish to have his touch or his kiss. “With this ruined mouth?” He mocks. But the next jape dies on the tip of his tongue when you fist your hand into his woolen tunic, hauling him down with all your strength to just the right height where if you stand on the tips of your toes, you can kiss him. And you do. Sandor is surprised at first, but his hard exterior fades, and then a strong arm curls around your middle, hoisting you up and then off the ground entirely. You pull back for only a quick second and smile for him.
“Little dove,” he rasps when you move your hands to hold his face, thumbs stroking over his cheeks—one marred by the flame—and down into his thick, wiry beard. He half expects to find a shred of fear or disgust in your eyes, but there isn’t any. There never had been. You kiss him again, softer and sweeter this time, and he returns it in full. 
Reluctant to part, he places you back on the ground but is quick to pull you into his side and hold you close in the golden hour of the morning. And for the first time since he can remember, Sandor Clegane has a handful of happy memories, and perhaps, in the end, he's found something even sweeter than killing.
[Game of Thrones taglist: @certifiedlittleshit / @erzsebetrosztoczy / @hereforreadandwrite / @hc-geralt-23 / @holysmokesblog / @Idkjj04 / @lady-stark-winter-rose / @mikariell95 / @misskatiewrites / @mrsragnarlodbrok / @nyotamalfoy / @rigshak / @savagemickey03 / @xinyourdreamsx ] if your name is italicized, tumblr would not let me tag you. if you’d like to be added to my Game of Thrones taglist, or any other taglist, just let me know with this Google Form!
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gloomwitchwrites · 1 month
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Their bachelor party.. what kind of shenanigans are they getting in to?!
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Hehe. Anon, I bow down to you. I had so much fun with this prompt. I was able to be super creative and silly with it. Really, I had a freaking blast with this. I also spent an insane amount of time researching stag night / stag parties / stag dos. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed putting it togther!
Presented in four double drabbles.
For the masterlist and how to submit your own request, click HERE
Content & Warnings (per the warnings MDNI): swearing, drunken shenanigans
Word Count: 800
ao3 // taglist // main masterlist // imagines & what if masterlist
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John Price
“When you said ‘stag do’ I didn’t think…this.” Soap gestures vaguely.
“What were you expecting, Johnny? Strippers? A lap dance?” mocks Simon, keeping his gaze forward.
“You plan on giving me one, Lt?” asks Johnny with a devilish grin.
“You’d love that, wouldn’t you, Johnny?” replies Simon, downing the rest of his beer.
“Don’t know what you’re on about, Soap,” says Kyle from somewhere in the back. “Captain made a damn good choice. When are you ever gonna do this again?”
“It is my day,” says Price, settling back into his seat. “And this is what I want to do.”
Kyle drops off a fresh beer for Simon and clasps Johnny’s shoulder. “We’re at a sold-out football match in a box suite.” He gestures behind him. “There’s a buffet and beer on tap. More than the four of us could eat or drink. Fucking glorious, mate.” Kyle brings his beer to his lips, and sighs once he’s taken a long gulp.
“What about tonight, Captain?” asks Johnny. “We drinking?”
Price nods. “With some of the bride’s family actually.”
Kyle leans forward. “I got us all matching outfits.”
“I’m not wearing shit,” says Price over his shoulder.
“He is,” whispers Kyle.
Kyle "Gaz" Garrick
“Holy fucking hell, Kyle. You did good!” Soap slides on his sunglasses and places his hands on his hips. “This place is fucking paradise.”
“Get in the shade, Johnny. You’re gonna burn,” says Simon, sipping on his piña colada.
With a grin on his face, Johnny stalks over and plucks the tiny pink umbrella out of Simon’s drink. He sucks on the end of the stick.
“I need someone to get my back. You up for it, Lt?”
Simon gives Soap a blank stare as he finishes the last of his drink. Kyle starts to laugh, leaning back in his beach chair.
“What the fuck are we in right now, Johnny?” asks Simon.
Johnny glances around and shrugs.
“A cabana.”
“Oh, aye. When we were on that mission—”
“Fucking hell,” mutters Simon. “I’m getting another drink.”
“Grab me something with tequila in it,” says Kyle.
“Who’s putting sunscreen on my back?”
“Have the groom do it,” growls Simon as heads for the bar.
Johnny shrugs and turns toward Kyle, the end of the pink umbrella still in his mouth. “Bit hairy back there.”
Kyle shakes his head and cups his mouth with both hands. “Price! Come get your sergeant!”
John "Soap" MacTavish
“Fucking look at us.” Johnny grins and turns around to face Price, Kyle, and Simon. “We ready to go?”
“You’re not fucking wearing that. And I’m not wearing this.” Simon takes off his hat and gestures at Johnny with it. “We look insane.”
“What? This?” Johnny glances down at his outfit. It’s a Pikachu onesie. Hood included. “Pretty fucking comfortable.”
Price, Simon, and Kyle are all dressed up like Ash Ketchum. Even the hats have the correct logo.
“We look fucking ridiculous,” grumbles Price, fidgeting with his jacket.
“I think we look pretty smashing actually,” shrugs Kyle.
“Didn’t you watch Pokémon growing up?” asks Johnny. “We sure did.” He drapes his arm over Kyle’s shoulder.
Simon stares blankly, arms crossed over his chest. “There better not be pictures. I don’t want to find myself on the fucking internet in this.”
“Or shown at work,” mumbles Price.
Johnny lightly punches Simon shoulder. “You look good, Lt.”
“If it helps,” interrupts Kyle. “We can fill these with alcohol.” He holds up one of the plastic pokeballs that he, Price, and Simon have clipped to their belts.
“Thank fucking hell,” sighs Price. “I’m in.”
“Simon?” asks Johnny.
Simon rolls his eyes. “Hells. Fine.”
Simon "Ghost" Riley
“Lads! Lads! Lads! Lads!”
Kyle and Johnny chant manically as Simon chugs his beer. It takes a few meager seconds and then they yell fiercely, beating their chests before grabbing Simon’s shoulders and shaking him. Simon wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. “Another!”
Kyle grabs Simon’s empty glass and heads to the bar to order another round. Johnny breaks out into song. It’s in Scots. He’s loud and off-key.
“Speak English,” laughs Simon.
Price crosses his arms over his chest and leans back in the booth, resting his head on the top. His eyelids shut.
Soap switches over to English but it lasts for only a few lines. He switches between the two, even tossing in a bit of Gaelic. Simon doesn’t understand any of it.
Kyle comes back with another round. Price opens one eye and groans. “Can’t. Heartburn.”
As soon as the words leave Price’s mouth, Johnny snags Price’s beer and downs it before picking up his own and consuming that.
“Fucking hell,” mutters Price. “I won’t be dragging your ass home. Any of you.”
Simon and Kyle clink glasses as down half of theirs.
Johnny grins. “We’ve got three more pubs to go, Captain.”
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@no-oneelsebutnsu @kidd3ath @certainlygay @thewulf @lovely-ateez
@whisperwispxx @gingergirl06 @eternallyvenus @smileykiddie08 @arrozyfrijoles23
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Annabel Lee cannot die. (Theory Nevermore Ep. 108)
Let's talk about the Nevermore Finale of Season I and why it's impossible for our White Queen to die here.
(I do apologise for all the spelling mistakes)
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Annabel is scared. The cunning, cut-throat Annabel is scared as shit right now. Understandable, I would be as well if there was a monsterous stag about to get me. It does make her more human, showing that she isn't invincible (on an emotional level). I know from multiple character analyses on this website regarding Annabel that this isn't the first time she's shown that she aswell is just a person . However, it's still nice to see here. As most of the smarter members of the nevermore community say, she is a morally grey character whose ambiguity is beautifully written. As long as Lenore isn't with her, she is as terrified of dying (twice) as everyone else.
And because Annabel is not so different, not as much of an Ice Queen as all think, there is room for growth. We already saw it with her trying to be the true Poshbesties with Prospero as we hoped for. For plots' sake, it will take a while for her to open up to anyone else. However, I do believe that somewhere down the road, Annabel could be able to actually be friends with Ada. Proof? This panel right here:
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Annabel Lee and Ada are equally afraid. They're in the exact same situation here, its dangerous, and there is no room for scheming shenanigans or what else. I do hope that they'll grow closer, seeing as Ada looks up to Annabel so much, she could be her guiding light in becoming her own person, rather than sucking up to others- trying to fit in - in hope of being loved or even appreciated (but as we know our chess queen, shell probably make her worse for her own sake first).
Now to my actual point, the reason why I am even making this post:
Annabel cannot and will not die.
I suspect she won't even be hurt (at least not seriously). Why? Well, my main reason is this interaction:
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We know that the phantoms, esp. the dogs, attack anything that's breathing. Now, if it would be the same for the stag, then he would have no reason to huff at Annabel Lee. On the contrary, he would have attacked as soon as he laid eyes upon her and Ada, like his dogs.
So why wouldn't he kill/hurt Annabel? Because she is not his main quarry. Lenore is. We know (as long as the raven isn't mistaken) that the Wild Hunts' main goal is getting Lenore. He must have smelled Lenores scent on Annabel, as they've interacted and even hugged on the arboretum (to avoid falling to death that is) the very same day, since him huffing at her, smelling her.
Same reason why Nurse Dolly is still alive as well. She saw the stag, it was staring her right in the eye, but rather than him, his dogs were the ones who attacked. He has no interest in anyone besides his quarry.
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Besides the in-story reasons, someone on the nevermore discord also said that rednflynn already confirmed and roughly planned 4 seasons of Nevermore. So, it would make no sense to kill one of the protagonists so early on in the series.
Now, multiple people already expressed their hopes that Lenore - like the Prince Charming she is/was in her previous life - will come and save Annabel, maybe even getting her spectre. I do not believe this will happen. There are multiple reasons for that. Firstly, it would throw off the whole dynamic of the two groups, kinda destroying Annabel Lees + Lenores' plan. Secondly, Ms. Poppet already explained that transforming into your spectre to confront the wild hunt is basically a suicide mission. And I doubt that Lenores spectre would have enough plot armour to overpower the stag.
Third and foremost: It's too soon. And it would be kind of anticlimactic. Lenores Spectre is one of the biggest mysteries in the series. Her transforming in the first few episodes of the second season would ruin one of the most fun speculations of the nevermore community. Personally, for me, it would make reading the webcomic further on a little bit less engaging. Here is how I believe it will more likely go down:
Annabel + Ada will be saved by either Prospero, the deans (unlikely, since they can not be contacted in dreamland) or just a lapse of judgement in the stags mind. Either they use the moment of silence right now, with prospero/will/montresor showing up and making a run for it with Annabel and Ada, or the stag will ignore them (since their not his quarry) or someone, a background character or so, will take his attention off them by screaming or panicking. Of course, this is only about the stag. We do not know if the phantom riders with him are like the dogs, impolitely aggressive from head to toe/tail, or if they're more the secondaries to the stag, only attacking when necessary.
Edit: I am not sure if the 4 Seasons are really confirmed or if my mind just really really deluded itself, so take it with a grain of salt...
Edit Part 2: Nvm the comments are so thoughful and confirm it, that Nevermore will have 3-4 seasons
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turtletaubwrites · 22 days
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Numbers Game ~ Chapter 32
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Make Your Bets Now!
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Pairings: Cross Guild Polycule x Shanks x Fem!Reader x ???
Numbers Game Masterlist
Word Count: 12,614 😳😳
Ao3 Link
Ongoing Series Playlist: Youtube Music Link | Youtube Link
Chapter Tunes: A Forest ~ The Cure | Burn Your Village ~ Kiki Rockwell
Summary: The White Stag is chased through the woods. The hunters begin to show their true colors, while the prey just tries to survive. You might not be the only one running away.
Recap: The banquet is underway, and you were dressed as the White Stag. You met your nine suitors, some of whom came as a shock. You gave each hunter an arrow, a symbol of their right to claim you. Uncle Cedrick just gave you a ten minute head start.
Author's Note: Hi!!! Thank you so much for your patience while I've been dealing with all the things! I've still been writing, as you can tell by the word count! 😬 Lol, I did a poll way back when Shanks first arrived asking if y'all would prefer two regular size chapters with no smut in one, or one giant chapter with the smut. So here ya go, lol, you asked for it! 😅🤭
Content Warning: There's not much dark content to warn for this chapter (besides the usual Numbers Game shenanigans & Buggy's POV on the Dr. Vorsan visit), but I wanted to give a heads up that there is a flashback of the 14 year old reader having a crush on an adult. Nothing occurs, but there is some very mild creepiness that could be interpreted as inappropriate. I WILL NEVER write about minors in that way, so please know that this is just a teenage crush! In case you would like to skip that, I'll bracket it with these ~~~⚫~~~
Fic Updates & Questions:
I will be retroactively adding titles to all chapters. I prefer to have titles for every chapter of a fic, but decided not to add them when I thought this was going to be a one shot 🤦🏼‍♀️ (We're getting closer to the end, and outlining will be way easier if I can remember which chapter things happened in, lol.) I'm going with quotes/lines from the chapters for the title theme. Also, I only used "part" instead of "chapter" on tumblr for formatting space, but I always call them chapters so 🤷‍♀️
Since this is a reader insert fic (that I thought would be a one shot 😅), I've tried to keep as many personal details as vague as possible so that we can all hop onto that lovely, green couch. I'm not planning to state the reader's age within the fic, but as we get further into the story, some of you numbers girl's may be able to figure out the math based on the flashbacks and such. I have a whole ass timeline graphed out, so if anyone is interested in knowing the specific ages and dates of related OP canon and Numbers Game canon, I'd be down to make a separate post just for that.
Alternate POV Symbols:
🌲 ~ Reader | 🐊 ~ Crocodile | 🗡 ~ Mihawk | 🤡 ~ Buggy | 🔴 ~ Shanks | ⏰ ~ Flashbacks for listed POV | ⚫ ~ Scenes depicting Dark Content as listed in Author's Notes
!!! SPOILER WARNING !!! Fic currently contains spoilers for the end of the Wano arc. As we get further into Egghead Arc, there will be some spoilers (mainly from manga cover stories or SBS questions for minor characters' motivations, such as what the Vinsmoke's and Charlotte's have been up to since Wano, and why they'd want to marry our lovely heiress.)
Rating/Warnings: Author May Choose to Exclude some Warnings to Avoid Spoilers for Certain Chapters, Explicit Sexual Content, 18+ ONLY, MDNI, AFAB!Reader, She/Her Pronouns for Reader, Reader-Insert, Use of Y/N, Dark Content, Blood & Violence, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Dissociation, Mental Illness, Grief, Toxic Family, Swearing, Alcohol, Cigars, Smut, Fluff, Angst, Guilt, Drama, Jealousy, Manipulation, Pet Names, Power Imbalance, Cross Guild boys are VILLAINS, Pain Kink, Possessive Behavior, Teasing, Blowjobs, Threats, Relationship Drama, Anal, Doctors, Inappropriate Use of Akuma no Mi | Devil Fruit Powers, Shameless Shameless Smut, Uncle Cedrick Has Become His Own Warning, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
| masterlist | about me | rules | ao3 |
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~~~🌲🌲🌲~~~
“I told you to run.”
Uncle Cedrick wet his lips after he hissed at you again, smirking while you transformed for him, and for his silent hunters and cheering guests. 
The white stag. The hunted. The prey. 
You’d never felt less human than you did right now, and the sense of danger in the air sent you racing toward the trees. 
It was disorienting to move in this fumbling body. Some foul magic must have stolen your hooves, your graceful limbs, your fur to fend off the cool breeze of the night. 
All you had left were your antlers, but they couldn’t help you flee. You escaped your heels, kicking free from the tight shoes as though they were traps meant to hold you still for the hunters to find. The dress made you panic, the weight of it wearing you down like trash left to suffocate creatures too helpless to free themselves from human garbage. You tried to lift the heavy skirts while you ran, but the train dragged behind you, catching on roots and branches as you fled. 
Logic started to break through the adrenaline in bits and pieces, but the forest had pulled you into a dream.
“This isn’t a dream,” you panted to yourself, slowing down to lean against a tree. 
That wild panic had left you with no idea how long you’d been running, but your heart was trying to escape from your body, and your lungs struggled to catch up as you let yourself stop. 
That should be enough drama for Uncle’s show. Why should I care who catches me first? I have to date all of them anyway. 
And the fear was back. 
Nine men were about to stalk you through the woods at night, and you’d just run deeper into the darkness, like a fucking idiot.
Though you doubted that staying closer to the courtyard would have made you any safer. All of those leeches were here to watch the show. They’d probably already placed bets on which hunter would get his greedy hands on you first.
Don’t cry. 
You almost did. Every time you thought you could accept your fate, Uncle Cedrick found ways to make it more torturous, more humiliating. 
Apathy tried to protect you, a welcome friend that lulled your emotions to sleep until you stared into nothing, your logical mind reciting your thoughts on a loop to distract from what you were putting away.
I already gave the leeches a good show. It doesn’t matter who catches me first. 
Useless rage replaced your apathy in a flash at the memory of the traitor touching your skin. Shanks was the last man you wanted to catch you, but Uncle’s threats felt like hidden traps, like suffocating trash, like this stupid dress that snagged on every branch. 
I won’t give them anything else to hurt me with. 
Crashes and yells entered the forest like a storm, and you were the white stag again.
You ran. 
~~~🌲🌲🌲~~~
~~~~~~
~~~🤡🤡🤡~~~
Shanks had only been gone for a day, but the clown found himself aching for him in a way he hadn’t in years. 
Letting Shanks back in had opened the door to all this shit he’d tried to stuff away, but he didn’t have room for all of these feelings right now. Not when his star was slurring her words, her voice high and distant while she tried to convince this fucking doctor that all their time together had meant nothing.
“It was all pretend. I was bored. I know it was risky behavior, I s-see that nn…”
“I’m glad you’re expressing that awareness, Y/N,” Dr. Vorsan’s voice bore down even through her frantic heartbeat, “but you still haven’t talked about the clown. It’s important that we understand our triggers so that we can prevent future episodes.”
She’s not breathing!
“You don’t want to have any more episodes, do you, Y/N?”
“No,” she agreed, though Buggy barely heard her over her now ragged breath. 
“Good. Part of staying well means cooperating with your treatment,” the slimeball purred. “Why did you go with the clown?”
“He was sweet. And funny... I liked him.”
Buggy looked to the ceiling, unknowable emotions pulling his face into a grimace. 
“You just told me that it was all pretend. That you were bored.”
“I, yes…”
“Clarity, Y/N,” the pompous creep scolded. “We can’t make changes if we don’t acknowledge our patterns. Why did you go with the clown?”
“Shut the fuck up,” Buggy growled.
The next words he heard had to be from her lips, but it sounded wrong, as though she’d been possessed by the concept of emptiness itself. His star was hollow. 
Gone. 
“I used him. I wanted to run. I’m selfish.”
No, baby, don’t say that.
The fucker didn’t say anything for too long. He couldn’t hear any rustling, only his empty star, breathing just enough to keep her alive. 
“Your family was very worried for you. That extreme, self destructive behavior—“
“I know,” Y/N snapped, then Buggy heard the sound of skin against skin, as though she’d slapped her hand over her mouth. “I’m s-s-sorry, doctor, I…”
“It’s quite, alright, Y/N,” the man fucking chuckled. “You’ve just experienced an episode that must have caused some additional trauma, but you’re safe now.”
Buggy hadn’t taken notes, and he looked down to find a shredded notepad on his lap, his shaky hands clenching into the paper. 
“Do you want to be safe?”
“Yes, doctor,” Y/N stated, the gravity of a black hole in her voice. 
“Was it safe to run away with pirates?”
What the fuck is he doing to her? 
“No.”
“Good. Now, tell me about the clown.”
Circles and circles of this talk spun through Buggy’s mind, and it seemed like nothing was said, yet he could hear his star break a little more with every word. 
“I’ll rip his tongue out, baby. Make him eat it for you. Don’t listen to him.”
“Excellent work today. Self reflection is difficult, but it’s the only way to heal.”
“Thank… Thank you, doctor.”
“There’s no need to thank me. You have the power to stay well all on your own, as long as you put in the work to take care of yourself. Just try to remember the kind of life you wish to have. You don’t want to lose yourself in another episode, do you, Y/N?”
“No, doctor.”
The clown laid in silence for hours while his broken lover did the same. Somehow Y/N built herself up again, preparing to head to dinner with her sister, and her voice was almost as clear as it had been before the session. 
She keeps all of this inside… I didn’t even—
“Come on, little clown. Don’t eat dinner on the floor again.”
~~~🤡🤡🤡~~~
~~~~~~
~~~🔴🔴🔴~~~
The Emperor of the Sea followed an usher to his seat, feeling high as he twirled the decorative arrow in his fingers. He was lucky to have made it in time, and luckier still that Y/N had looked at him like that. Shanks was sure that it wasn’t really lust in those magnetic eyes of hers. Buggy’s fallen star was difficult to read, but it had to be a message. An opening. 
I’ll get you out of here, Y/N. 
Even Benn’s smirking face couldn’t diminish the flames she’d warmed in him, his first mate pulling his seat out while he approached. The last few tables at the edge of the courtyard seemed filled with guests that were either late or large, the nearest competitor being the two story tall Prince Fukaboshi. 
Before Shanks could greet his rival, Sylvad’s voice carried through the night air, testing the Emperor’s ability to fake a smile. 
“Thank you all for joining our family as we celebrate the hunt for a new member! I am honored to help strengthen the Sylvad legacy by making sure that my enchanting niece finds the most loving, and of course, the most profitable match,” he admitted with a smug laugh. “Just as this marks the beginning of a new era for our family, I’m sure that most of you have sensed the shift in the waters.”
Cedrick paused for effect with Y/N posed like some pretty doll at his side while his guests murmured in agreement.
“For generations, the Sylvad’s have stood in enthusiastic support of the Marines. Although I still pay them an exorbitant amount to show up when I call, their many recent failures, and acts of overreaching, have shown them to be nothing more than expensive, and exceedingly annoying guard dogs.”
The laughter he drew was mixed, both nervous and pleased, and Shanks was sure he wasn’t the only one to catch the threat in those playful words. 
“The world is changing, and I intend to keep my family strong, even if we have to shoo the seagulls away,” he vowed with enough humor to keep the mood light. “But enough about all that, we’re here to enjoy ourselves. Let’s welcome in the New Era together with a good old fashioned hunt!”
Confusion was clouded by the applause Cedrick had demanded with his gestures and tone after he offered Y/N a hand. Watching that man touch her had Shanks’ jaw clenching, holding himself back while she truly looked like prey under his smirking grin.
“I think our white stag is feeling a bit skittish, but that's nothing a little chase can't fix. The first hunter to catch her claims the first date!”
Shanks watched in horror as Cedrick led his niece to the edge of the courtyard, speaking to her too softly to hear before she ran toward the trees, stumbling in that fucking costume he’d stuffed her into. 
Benn nudged his ankle, stopping Shanks from finishing his movement. Gryphon was on the ship anyway, and he wasn’t sure what use his sword would do other than to comfort his helpless soul.
I’m a villain now. Maybe I should just kill everyone here. 
He chugged the glass of wine in front of him, as though swallowing the liquor could help him swallow the layers of guilt that made no sense to him.
The bright light of that wounded star disappeared into the trees, but there was no reprieve. A large, white canvas was rolled out over the side of the manor walls while servants pushed a massive transponder snail on a wheeled cart up the path. The courtyard was silent until the snail’s eyes flickered, its mouth open as sounds of heavy breathing and snapping twigs came through before the live feed was projected. 
Two images appeared on that blank wall, bringing gasps and applause from the guests while Sylvad preened.
“In ten minutes,” he announced, doing a flourish as a timer popped up on the frantic screen, “the hunt for the white stag begins. The man that touches her first wins the hunt, and will earn the first private date tomorrow evening, as well as the pleasure of dining with the lovely doe tonight.”
The lovely doe in question was panting as she kicked off her heels, running barefoot through the woods. On the left was a jostled scene of darkness and trees, but as she looked down to lift her skirts, it was clear that a cam snail must be on her head, maybe hidden in those antlers. The second image continued to flip, showing her running and struggling through the brush from endless angles. 
Does he have a surveillance snail on every fucking tree on this island?
“What a strange courtship custom,” Prince Fukaboshi noted quietly, although his size let the words carry enough for Shanks to let out a sharp laugh, smiling up at the merman to cover his anger before Sylvad continued.
“You may woo my niece however you like, so long as it doesn’t cause her unsalvageable harm, or remove her from this island. I won’t have my vacation home turned into a war zone, so do watch your violence. I know that some of you have had disagreements in the past, but let’s keep the fighting to a minimum unless it’s part of a game, alright lads? We wouldn’t want to spoil the fun for everyone.”
Leeches…
Servants came around to all the tables to take bets from the guests while the courtyard followed the white stag’s every, panicked step. 
Hawk was right, this security is something else.
“This isn’t a dream.”
“Aww, isn’t she a darling,” a diamond-studded, older woman crooned, inspiring more guests to make noises about how precious she looked while she caught her breath, eyes blank as she leaned against a tree. 
“You’re gonna catch that little bunny, aren’t ya, Captain?”
Shanks let out a breath, finally breathing, when he met his first mate’s gaze. Benn was steady, the curve of his lips and shine of his eyes hiding the intensity from those that didn’t know him, but his captain recognized the look. 
It’s time to get serious.
~~~🔴🔴🔴~~~
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~~~🐊🤡🗡️~~~
Easy silence wrapped around the three men during dinner, interspersed with deep, hushed voices, and the scratching of Buggy’s pen while he doodled. He couldn’t help but feel thankful for the less noteworthy hours that had passed since his star had met with the doctor. 
“Zala checked in,” Crocodile reported between bites. “Guess she wasn’t suited to the restaurant business after all.”
“That’s Miss Doublefinger, yes?”
“Not anymore,” he sighed at Mihawk’s question. “Zala used to work well with Daz Bonez, and she’s investigating Dr. Vorsan. Refused to help without bringing Marianne along though… Ms. Goldenweek.”
“The child,” Mihawk questioned, giving a gentle tilt to his head. His lover seemed to get touchy when his old organization was brought up. 
“She’s eighteen now,” came the curt answer, although the larger man almost smiled at those damn, golden eyes. 
“Uncle ChodeTick’s talking to her, taking a walk,” Buggy reported, guilt cutting them off before they could get too flirty. The clown scribbled his notes, the easy silence less easy now. 
Mihawk’s lifetime of dedication to becoming the strongest did nothing for him now. All he could do was watch every subtle, pained expression on Buggy’s face while he suffered, the bravest of them all. 
“The agents are infiltrating the asylum the doctor runs when he’s not fucking with our girl,” Crocodile shared, his voice hushed. 
“Sending a teenager to infiltrate an insane asylum? You are ruthless, aren’t you,” Mihawk flirted lightly. He was learning this man, and for the first time he wasn’t making excuses about why. His tone paid off, and he smirked at the playful look on that scarred face.
“Marianne‘ll be fine, I’m sure she’s looking forward to art therapy. Plus, Zala will— what’s wrong, Buggy?”
The clown gestured for silence while his face went red with rage, listening to the rules, and the threats that her monster of an uncle was caging his star with. 
“FUCK!!”
The nearly empty plates and glasses went flying as Buggy flipped the table, his body shaking in every direction, unable to sit with himself for another second.
“I’m pathetic! I can’t help her. I can’t fucking do ANYTHING!”
Crocodile and Mihawk caught as many pieces of him as they could, and wrapped themselves around Buggy until he breathed again, holding most of his body between them. 
“Don’t say that, Buggy.”
“Shh, little clown. You’ve done enough.”
“He’s gonna make her…” Buggy barely managed to choke out the sound, glad that the asshole had left her alone already. One more word from his lips would have made the him explode. 
Her words were worse though. 
“She said she’s gonna fuck the ones she…” He cried out between their now stiff bodies. “He threatened her with… She has to…”
“She has to do what, Buggy,” Crocodile asked, amazed at how steady his voice was while he knelt down to meet the clown’s tired eyes. He kept his hand stroking along his side, that body slumping instead of flying apart now. 
He couldn’t say it, exhaustion making the clown sway against Crocodile’s touch before he floated his hand toward the mess he’d made of the table. Mihawk caught the notepad, his eyes going apocalyptic as he read over Cedrick’s “rules” for the games.  
The swordsman wanted to fly into violence and rage, to turn to ice, and make everything in his path disappear. 
But Buggy’s eyes made him pause, the words on the page having too many consequences, too much weight. 
“Buggy, she said this in anger, did she not? I doubt she’ll really—“
“You didn’t hear him,” Buggy snapped, starting to float and pace while Crocodile read the notes. The clown snatched the notepad off the floor after the scarred man dropped it, his hand shaking with rage. 
“He’s twisted,” Buggy continued.
“He’s dead,” came a rough voice, the fury of a sandstorm barely contained in that vow. 
“Yes, he is,” Mihawk promised as he reached for Buggy. He pushed that lovely, blue hair behind the remaining ear, almost smiling at the ear plug he found. “We will get her out of there, but we need you sane. If our little rabbit needs to take care of herself, we’ll find a way to keep you—“
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
Buggy floated just out of reach, glaring down at the swordsman as though he’d started speaking some alien language. 
“You shouldn’t have to listen to that, little clown,” Crocodile soothed, resting his own rage when he realized what Mihawk was saying. “If it happens, we’ll make it loud over here so you can’t hear, or you could—“
“You want me to shove my fingers in my ears while her screams echo through the halls,” Buggy hissed. His anger was building up around him, heating the air, strangling any sense of peace from the room as those old words hit their mark. 
The two monsters under his glare froze, shame stunning them into silence. 
“You think I said I’d rather watch you fuck my star into oblivion just for FUN,” he seethed, his eyes going manic while he floated above them. “I’m a sick fuck, and ended up having flashy, old time, but that’s not why I had to watch.”
He was that frightening showman again, and they were drawn into his act. 
“I’m sorry, Bug—“
“I made myself watch while you took her from me,” he recalled in an almost sing-song voice that chilled the other men’s blood. “I watched and watched, because… I have to listen because…”
The crack in his own voice made him waver, dipping in the air a bit while he stared at the pained faces of these terrifying men. 
“What if they hurt her?”
Silence clashed with the cacophony inside their minds until Crocodile reached toward the clown again, gripping into his shoulder, and sending fear flashing through him while their faces grew closer. 
“We’ll kill them.”
“B-but–”
“Come on, brave, little clown,” Crocodile breathed over his trembling lips. “Why don’t you show me all your toys, huh? How many Buggy Balls would it take to blow up that whole fucking island if we need to?”
As they sighed, falling into the relief of distraction together, Mihawk sank against the wall, becoming nothing more than a threatening statue. He could have tried to grab onto the lifeline his lovers had just created, that comforting moment of camaraderie in violence while the clown indulged in and shared one of his favorite topics.
Yet, the swordsman couldn’t let it go. 
His little rabbit, forced to bed her captors again. 
She’s strong. She’s wicked. She’ll enjoy herself. Then we’ll get her back.
The fear that Y/N might enjoy herself enough to not want to return left Mihawk sick. He had to step outside, wandering down to the garden he’d barely thought of since she was no longer there to smell it on him. 
He found himself fisting into the dirt in that walled garden, huffing a laugh when he smelled the faint, sour scent on his fingers before wiping them on his pants. Red flashed in his mind, and the ex-Warlord sat in the dirt, wishing that love and trust were as simple to cultivate as the garden he’d been too preoccupied to plant. 
“I trust you,” Mihawk whispered to his red haired lover across the sea. The thought of how insufferable Shanks would be if he ever uttered those words in front of him brought a soft smile to his lips. “Please, bring her back. I need her by my side.”
~~~🐊🤡🗡️~~~
~~~~~~
~~~🌲🌲🌲~~~
Time was a human construct, and as your ungraceful body ran like the prey he had transformed you into, you couldn’t tell how long it took for the yells and crashes to race toward you. 
Eternity. 
One fucking second.
A clearing appeared before you, but as you stepped into the open space, an impossible man filled up your world. He knelt down, still towering over you, and all the sounds of chaos in the forest faded while his crimson eyes asked for permission.
Katakuri reached for you, his massive hand outstretched, but he didn’t grab you. 
There was no way you could describe the subtle shift in those stunning eyes when you lifted your hand to take his, but they went wide before you made contact, his hand shooting out impossibly fast behind you. The giant of a man wasn’t fast enough, and cold fear poured through you before you had a warm body wrapped around yours from behind.
“I’ve got you, bunny,” Shanks purred, breathing a little hard as he pressed his lips against your ear. His arm was wrapped around you, holding you tight, as though you were a prize the others would try to tear from his grip. 
You wished they would.
“If we were allowed to wear our raid suits we would have–”
“Don’t complain, brother,” a taunting voice floated through the trees while Shanks looked you over, never taking his hand off of you while he guided you through the trees. “We’ll have plenty more chances. Our little bride likes being hunted, remember? You heard what the old man said about the Cross–”
A strange noise left your throat when Shanks bent down to wrap his arm under your thighs, lifting you up over his shoulder before running too fucking fast. Running until you saw the lovely lanterns again, until the courtyard came into view.
Your own bedraggled image was spread across the outer wall of the manor, the huge snail showing two screens that flashed through replays of your pathetic race and capture. It showed a few highlights of the hunters, including Shanks smashing through what looked like a wall of giant crackers, and Iceburg crawling on the ground in the wrong direction. Now they displayed various angles of the winner carrying his prize.
Shanks was surreal. No one cheered for the slab of meat he’d claimed, not when the Emperor of the Sea looked like some dark god of the forest, a hero bringing home a feast to his starving people.
The image had you closing your eyes, playing into the exhaustion so you wouldn’t have to look at him anymore. 
“Red Haired Shanks, everyone,” Uncle announced as he slowed the audience’s applause, and you opened your eyes to find him beside you, leading your captor to the head table. “The emperor has earned the first private date tomorrow evening, as well as the seat of honor tonight. I hope everyone worked up an appetite.”
I’m not here.
Both men had their hands on you while they propped you up between them, and you faced the courtyard to find the ravenous guests practically drooling over the sight of your torn and dirty dress. Thankfully your back was to the screen, so you didn’t have to keep watching yourself stumbling through the dark. 
The stragglers made their way back, and your mind kept spacing, floating while your torturers chatted, until dinner arrived. 
Servants carried a long stretch of table over the stone path, “ooh’s” and “aah’s” making you more nauseated the closer it got, until they laid out the mythical beast before you. 
Your uncle had caught a white stag. 
He had caught it, killed it, and was laughing while its dead eyes stared at you, its useless antlers like some tragic centerpiece. Uncle Cedrick ordered its flesh to be passed to every plate, so that each of his friends might share in his auspicious meal. 
“Here’s to those with the heart of a hunter,” he toasted. “May your arrows always hit their mark.”
Every bite they took tore through your own skin, the slow prey gone still while the pack of wolves enjoyed their meal. An animal again, your mind was incapable of reason or words, but even the soul of the deer could feel this truth pulsing deep within the bones that the monsters hadn’t yet picked clean.
You would not survive this. They were going to devour you whole.
~~~
“Y/N? Sis? Are you okay?”
Some part of you that only existed for your sister reacted to the worry in her voice, blinking up at her while she carefully pulled the antlers off of your head. Another image of the deer’s mutilated body flashed through your mind as you watched her hold them to her chest before turning away, hurrying toward the door. You stared, thoughts thankfully leaving your mind while she threw the cursed antlers down the corridor.
“Are you okay,” she checked in again when she returned her gentle fingers to your hair.
“Yeah,” you cleared your throat, voice coming out raw. “Where is everyone?”
“I’ll get you cleaned up,” Kat assured. Her sharp eyes were wider than normal, but your urge to comfort her couldn’t break through your exhaustion, your delirium. “I didn’t think you’d want all the servants around.”
Gratitude swelled with the lump in your throat while Kat’s soft fingers transformed you, bringing you back to humanity. 
“I’m sorry he’s still such an asshole to you,” your sister breathed, starting to clean the scrapes that littered your legs and feet. “Running through the forest like… You’re getting married, not hunted. He didn’t need to make it so… I’m sorry.”
“Married,” you gave a tired laugh, closing your eyes before you went down the spiral. A hiss left your lips, your body jolting when she dabbed at a particularly unpleasant scrape.
“I’m going to call Dr. Gilli,” Kat announced, stopping you from digging your nails into your thighs. “No one else, and I’ll stay with you, okay?”
“No pills. No shots,” you ordered, too frantic to care about holding it in. 
“Of course not,” she sighed when your breathing started to calm. “I just don’t want to be responsible for your legs falling off from infection. Is that alright with you, sis?”
“Fine.” The slight teasing Kat had managed to put in her tone made your lips twitch, but that hint of relief took all of your energy. Your sister stayed with you, holding your hand while the family doctor looked you over.
Dr. Gilli had always been sweet to you, but the sight of your blood on her gloves while she gushed about how beautiful you looked, and how lucky you were to have such a romantic engagement, made you want to kick that sweet face in. 
“Thank you, doctor,” Kat frowned, shooing the woman out just in time before you punched her in the throat for asking you about babies. 
Kat helped you into bed, crawling in beside you like you were kids again. 
You used to be the big sister. Four years had always felt like such a big gap, especially with everything you had tried to protect her from. 
Until you couldn’t even protect yourself, and Kat had to become the big sister. 
Gratitude and guilt over that fact could never balance out, and as much as you loved her and needed her right now, you ached for her to leave so you could break down. 
Instead, slow tears stained your pillowcase while her comforting presence held you in a quiet cage. 
“It’s only a month,” she whispered while she stroked your hair. “We’re going to find the best husband for you, and then you’ll take over the company. I know it’s scary, but I believe in you, Y/N, just like dad did… I know you’re ready, and I’ll be right here with you.”
Kat’s misplaced trust froze you for what felt like hours, but somehow you fell asleep. Your name echoed through a storm while you watched the wolves tear into her flesh, helpless to keep your sister from the starving beasts.
~~~🌲🌲🌲~~~
~~~~~~
~~~🤡🤡🤡~~~
For a split second upon waking on the morning of the banquet, Buggy’s first thought hadn’t been panic for her absence, but a hum of pleasure at the warmth surrounding him. 
Guilt sent him flying into pieces to escape Crocodile and Mihawk’s arms, and they blinked up at him as though they’d forgotten her too. Buggy only relaxed when he saw the reality of the day harden their faces. 
Another day full of hushed voices, and waiting. Scribbled notes, and stifled comfort. Fear, and an unsteady hope that Shanks would be the hero again. 
~~~
“What’s this,” Buggy growled at the wide eyed, young pirate that had set down a bright blue cocktail on Y/N’s desk. He’d found himself sitting there tonight, updating the other men while the suitors were introduced, and he closed his eyes to stay focused on the muffled voices. 
The clown had started to panic earlier when his star was told to leave her locket behind, almost losing her because his gift didn’t fit the “theme.” She must have stuffed it into her dress from the way her heart thumped even louder within him, and he coughed to fight the heat in his throat.
I’m here, baby. I’ve got you.
“You like sweet drinks, don’t you?”
Buggy jolted, pretending that surprised squeak hadn’t just left his throat before he met Crocodile’s eyes across the room. 
“Y-yeah,” Buggy frowned, but he avoided the collection of garnishes and tiny umbrellas to take a sip from the curly straw. He found the taste of pineapple, coconuts, and sooo much sugar, covering up the rum that he most definitely needed. “Thanks.”
The scarred man raised a brow, and Mihawk’s soft chuckle from his own desk added to the shiver going up Buggy's spine.
They’re trying to distract me… 
“Thanks, daddy,” Buggy corrected, almost smiling at that frightening, but pleased face until her voice filled with hope.
‘Mr. Iceburg?’
“Mr. Iceburg,” he repeated while her heart went wild. 
“Iceburg,” Crocodile asked quietly, looking at his own notes. “From Galley La? He wasn’t on the list…”
“She knows him already,” Buggy reported. He tried to let it mean nothing. “She likes him.”
“Of course, Sylvad’s has had ties with Water 7 for generations,” Crocodile nodded, rubbing his hand over his face. 
“She may like him, but she loves you,” Mihawk startled him as he appeared beside her desk. “Don’t forget.”
“I’d never forget that,” Buggy snapped, sighing when wicked fingers teased over his tense shoulders, helping him focus.
He focused on her breath, her heart, while she met all the men vying to touch her, to take her. He focused on trying not to freak out the longer the night went on without hearing that familiar, heroic voice. Their best chance.
“Something’s wrong,” Buggy rasped, hardly hearing Crocodile's chair thump onto the new carpet over the deafening silence of his star forgetting to breathe. It seemed like her heart had stopped beating, until her uncle’s grating voice came through, and then it pounded like a bird smashing itself against a window to try to escape.
“The clothes suit you well, Emperor.”
“I had no idea that fashionable friends could be so generous,” Shanks charmed, his voice a miracle. “Or that I’d have the pleasure of meeting such a gorgeous, little bunny again so soon. Sorry, you're a gorgeous, little doe, aren’t you?”
“It’s Shanks,” Buggy shared, almost jealous of the relief that washed over their faces before he closed his eyes to the world again.
Shanks played the roguish pirate to perfection, and Buggy had no notes for his performance. Even muffled, Sylvad’s voice was clearly satisfied, eating up the Emperor’s words. 
“Red Hair made it? He’s a suitor?”
The soft questions ripped Buggy’s eyes open, and the relief he still saw there made him sick. 
“She hates him.”
“What do you–”
“Who does she–”
“She HATES SHANKS!” 
Buggy didn’t notice when he’d flown into pieces, but he floated erratically before them, trying to understand, trying to explain. 
“How… She didn’t say that out loud, did she,” Mihawk asked after a pause, studying his movements. 
“Why would she hate him,” Crocodile mused. His silver eyes stripped him down as he stepped too close.
“How the fuck would I know,” Buggy yelled, horror filling his veins at the way her heart seemed to fight itself in its cage. “This is how she sounds when she’s with Uncle ShitFuck, or that fucking doctor! She hates Shanks. She HATES HIM! What are we gonna do?”
“Shh, shh, darling,” Mihawk breathed, catching Buggy’s face in both hands while his body still flew through the air. “Y/N thought he was going to steal you from her. If she hasn’t forgiven him, then we’ll just have to find another way.”
“But she–”
Every floating piece of him stuttered in the air when cruel lips kissed his so sweetly. 
“I am long overdue for a hunting trip,” the swordsman teased over his skin, twisting those wicked fingers into his hair. “Having all three of us here is a waste. I’ll go thin out the competition.”
“No.”
The refusal was deep, yet gentle, and that scarred face towered over them both while Crocodile tugged at Mihawk’s chin. 
“We’re not doing that. We can’t go against her wishes, not until we know why she’s doing this.”
Buggy felt pain searing behind his eyes while he tried to listen to two things at once: Cedrick Sylvad’s speech, and the moral dilemma of these ex-Warlords.
“I agree,” Mihawk said evenly, barely sparing a glance while Buggy brought his body back together beside him. “But these men want our little rabbit, and her illustrious name for their own reasons. If it’s possible to convince the worst of them to drop out, then we should try.”
“Are you running away again,” Crocodile sighed, the pressure in the air making Buggy want to sink to the floor.  
“Don’t worry, daddy,” Mihawk purred, expertly slicing through all the tension in the room. “I have a spare earpiece snail, so you can scold me all you like while I’m away.” 
‘Did you hear me,’ Cedrick seemed to hiss at Buggy, swimming in guilt for falling into the distraction of the men before him. 
“Chase?”
“What is it,” Mihawk checked in, scanning his face. 
“No,” the clown paused, more endless horror pouring into him. He had to step away, the sounds of her panic while she raced through the woods sending him into helpless rage. The other men let him feel into it, until he rounded on them again. 
“They’re hunting her like an animal,” Buggy seethed, flinching at the sound of his star falling, panting, pushing herself on. “She’s terrified, she’s– Fuck this!”
A wave of sand hit the door before Crocodile blocked his path, only fueling that need to protect her. 
“Marines on call. Germa Kingdom. Big Mom Pirates. Fishman royalty. And we still don’t know what kind of security forces Sylvad keeps on the island, not to mention whatever the Concealer keeps around him, or the President of Galley La,” the larger man listed, his voice firm, but going soft when he touched Buggy’s cheek. “The second you hear our sweet girl ask for help, or say that she doesn’t wanna be there, I will drain them all to dust… but we still don’t know what he has on her. She told us she wanted to go.”
‘This isn’t a dream…’
In a trance, the clown let the other men lead him to that flashy, green couch, his notepad and fruity drink set up on the new coffee table while he slumped into her spot between them. 
“Shanks got her,” he reported, unable to share in their relief with the sound of her strangled breaths so loud in his head. He could barely hear a thing in her world now, the muffled voices beyond theirs were too difficult to make out, especially when another heartbeat filled his mind. His old friend must have been carrying her, and the sound of both of their hearts pounding so close made his gloves damp when he rubbed at his tired eyes. 
“Don’t worry,” Mihawk tugged at him gently until Buggy curled in against his exposed chest. The swordsman didn’t recoil from the faded paint, or the hot tears that streaked down his skin the longer the clown let himself stay there. “If our little rabbit doesn’t trust our hero, then we’ll just convince the rest of the suitors to give up the hunt.”
“Try not to start any wars, little prince,” Crocodile hummed, setting his massive hand over Mihawk’s where it was resting on Buggy’s thigh. 
“War is tedious. I am looking forward to a peaceful life,” Mihawk vowed, stroking Buggy’s hair while the man let exhaustion relax him deeper into his lap. “We just need to retrieve our lovers first.”
~~~🤡🤡🤡~~~
~~~~~~
~~~🌲🌲🌲~~~
“Oh sweetie, you look so–”
“Take a bite.”
Mom’s too shiny smile hardened slightly before she tasted your oatmeal, avoiding the servants that hovered around you in clouds of makeup and hair spray. 
“You’re about to have brunch with your suitors,” she reminded you when you snatched the food from her, practically inhaling it before more pencils or brushes could touch your lips. “Don’t you think it will look strange if you don’t eat with them?”
“You don’t seem to care how strange it looks to sell off your own daughter,” you laughed, noticing a servant’s eyes widen just a fraction when they took your empty bowl. “I’m cooperating, but I will not be leaving my food or drinks unattended until I feel safer. You want your child to feel safe, don’t you, mother?”
“I found some,” Kat beamed when she barged through the door, waving a deck of playing cards above her head. She tossed it to you, and you gasped, surprised that you caught it from the air before it could hit one of the staff. Thankfully, the full skirted dress you’d been stuffed into this morning had pockets, so you tucked your little game away, forcing your mom to taste the rest of your breakfast before the brunch dates began.
But Kat was making that face. Little sister face. 
“What’s that,” you gestured toward the item she had tried to conceal when she sat across from you, tucking it behind her body.
“Just some trash I found in the hall. Do you want some more coffee?”
“Give it,” you ordered, giving her big sister face.
“It’s nothing we didn’t already know, okay? So just…”
“At least I’m not the only one being used,” a sharp laugh left your throat. “How much berry do you think he’s making off of this game?”
Mom ordered the staff to leave before leaning toward Kat, and didn’t whisper quietly enough on her way out.
“Brunch is about to start. Make sure she looks presentable.”
“Can’t sell me off if I'm not pretty, can you?”
“Y/N,” she started, looking convincingly hurt, but Kat got her out of the room before either of you could make it worse. 
You stared at the “trash” in your lap, the crisp scent of expensive ink and paper filling your lungs while you examined the brochure. 
‘Which Hunter Will Claim Her?’
That tantalizing question was scrawled across every page, while the nine suitors each had their own section, their profile, their face, and a stupid little quote about winning you. This barbaric game was disguised behind a snooty font spread over images of dappled sunlight through Sylvad trees, and decorated with arrows and leaves.
Cedar leaves.
You wanted to tear it to shreds, but you were pulled in, studying every detail.
~~~~~~
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~~~~~~
Giberson
Age: Couldn’t Recall
Height: Misplaced Measurements
Birthday: August 14th
Title: “Warehouseman”
Favorite Food: Rye Whiskey
How he plans to win: “I’m sure the lovely lady and I will have a delightful time. You don’t get to be my age without learning a few tricks.”
~
Ichiji
Age: 21
Height: 186 cm (6'1")
Birthday: March 2
Title: Prince of the Germa Kingdom
Favorite Food: Strawberries and Whiskey
How he plans to win: "I’m a Vinsmoke."
~
Niji
Age: 21
Height: 185 cm (6'1")
Birthday: March 2nd
Title: Prince of the Germa Kingdom
Favorite Food: Blueberries and Scotch
How he plans to win: “She’s coming with us. If I don’t win, there’s two more Vinsmoke’s.”
~
Yonji
Age: 21
Height: 194 cm (6'4")
Birthday: March 2
Title: Prince of the Germa Kingdom
Favorite Food: Green Peas
How he plans to win: “I wouldn’t mind ending up with a woman like her, so I’m gonna turn her into a princess.”
~
Iceburg
Age: 40
Height: 199 cm (6'6")
Birthday: January 3
Title: President of the Galley-La Company, and Mayor of Water 7
Favorite Food: Curry Made by an Old Friend. A Drunk, Old Friend.
How he plans to win: “Mm, well... I suppose I’ll win because I know her best.”
~
Fukaboshi
Age: 24
Height: 604 cm (19’10”)
Birthday: February 4th
Title: Prince of the Ryugu Kingdom
Favorite Food: Abalone Steak
How he plans to win: “I hope that she carries peace in her heart. If she does, I will stop at nothing to earn her love.”
~
Cracker
Age: 45
Height: 307 cm (10'1")
Birthday: February 28th
Title: Sweet Commander of the Big Mom Pirates, and the Minister of Biscuit
Favorite Food: Biscuits. Dislikes Kimchi and Carbonated Drinks.
How he plans to win: “Easy. I’ll outdo them all.”
~
Katakuri
Age: 48
Height: 509 cm (16'8½")
Birthday: November 25th
Title: Sweet Commander of the Big Mom Pirates, and the Minister of Flour
Favorite Food: Doughnuts. Dislikes hot ramen.
How he plans to win: “I will win because I must.”
~
Shanks
Age: 39
Height: 199 cm (6'6")
Birthday: March 9
Title: Emperor of the Sea
Favorite Food: Kimchi Fried Rice and Lobster. Dislikes Blueberries.
How he plans to win: “Just gonna show the cutie a good time.”
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~~~~~~
‘Make Your Bets Now!’
Kat was right. You knew that the audience was enjoying the game, gambling while you just tried to survive, trying to secure the least abhorrent future that you could. 
“Venison…”
“Heeyyy,” Kat fumbled through positivity as she pulled the brochure from your white-knuckled grip. “At least we know how tall they are now!”
“I love you,” you thanked her, amazed that you could still laugh.
~~~
“Such pretty, little fingers… I hope I pass your test.”
“It’s not a test,” you lied, shuffling cards instead of tearing the old man’s eyes out. “Just a game.”
“It has to be the Queen of Hearts,” Giberson winked over his Bloody Mary.
“It’s the Four of Diamonds.”
“So you are choosing the next winner,” he scolded lightly when your prediction was revealed.
“How could I possibly choose when I have so many charming options,” you reminded him as you pushed the deck across the table so he could shuffle for himself. You weren’t ready to pick and choose between these hunters. There’d been no time to feel them out. 
So they had to guess.
The lighthearted brunch felt anything but with so many eyes on your skin, especially with Uncle’s giant projector snail that blew up your image across the building again. All the smaller snails circled around you, their slow, unreal eyes reminding you how trapped you were.
Always trapped.
“That’s alright, dear. Making decisions is tough, isn’t it? I’ve been hearing about what a smart girl you are though! So, what’s the card?”
The old man’s condescension was so typical, you were contemplating rooting for him, just so you could end up with a predictable partner.
“Jack of Hearts,” you smiled after counting down twenty two cards out loud, yet again.
“Whew, that sure is something,” Giberson waved the Jack of Hearts he’d revealed, making sure the rest of the guests could see while he bragged about you, as though your skills were somehow reflective of his own talents. 
As though he already owned you.
“You shuffled,” you teased, guiding him to set up the trick one more time. “Can you guess the card?”
“Queen of Hearts,” he winked again.
Gross. At least he might die soon, that’s a plus.
~~~
“You look beautiful this morning, Y/N,” the firstborn Vinsmoke brother purred when he took Giberson’s seat. 
Every moment was on full display for the other suitors, and for the guests that had stayed on the island for the entertainment. It seemed that the courtyard was to be your new realm, with plenty of space for your much taller dates to join you at your little breakfast table that was set up on a slightly elevated platform. 
A stage. 
“Thank you, Prince Ichigi. You’re looking quite well yourself.”  
Fuck.
It wasn’t a lie, and your pulse sped at the smug smile he gave when he tilted his head down to examine you over his dark, red glasses. 
There was something dangerous in that smile, and the fact that he didn’t even try to hide it made you pause, not sure how best to deal with this entitled prince.
“What does our lovely bride enjoy when she’s not being chased,” Ichiji purred, already claiming you with his words. His sunglasses did little to hide his eyes as they raked over your skin. 
“I enjoy numbers. Mathematics,” you almost squeaked. Heat rose up to your cheeks while you started to shuffle the cards, noticing the number “1” embroidered on his maroon cloak while you explained the goal of the card trick. 
“Seven of Clubs.”
“I’m sorry, Prince Ichiji, you’re wrong again.”
You had to risk a small sip from your untested water glass to fight the dryness on your tongue.
“That’s alright,” Ichiji teased, nodding at the sound of bells marking his time. “That’s why my family always brings numbers.”
“My turn, brother,” the blue haired prince announced as he clapped him on the shoulder. 
“Be nice to our little princess, Niji,” he ordered, pressing your knuckles to his lips before heading back toward the rest of his family. 
“Of course,” your new date smirked, leaning back in his chair with his hands clasped behind that blue head of hair. 
The large spikes and swoops of his hairstyle covered one of his eyes under his gold sunglasses, hiding one of the eyebrows that you kept trying not to glance at. The three brothers shared an odd curl to the ends of their brows, You couldn’t tell if it was a cosmetic choice, but didn’t want to risk insulting such powerful men in case they were sensitive about it.
“Don’t tell me my brother already wore you out,” he clicked his tongue, snapping you out of your memories. 
“I’m so sorry, Prince Niji, I must still be tired from the banquet. What were you saying?”
“Fetch our little bride some coffee,” he snapped at the nearest servant, banging lightly on the table until the dishes rattled.
His harsh tone was almost enough to make you forget your precautions, but you had enough to worry about without the uncertainty of who prepared your drink.
That curly brow raised with satisfied surprise when you rested your hand over his, his lips parting while he ate up your act.
“Would you mind sharing your coffee, Prince Niji? I’d hate to waste any more of our time waiting to wake up.”
“What’s mine is yours, princess,” Niji purred. He caught your hand as you pulled away, and you let him hold it while you drank from his mug. His coffee was unbelievably sweet.
Stop. Don’t think about…
“Thank you,” you hummed, swallowing the heat in your throat while you tried to not to look at his blue hair with that practically syrupy coffee still on your tongue. “Will you help me with a little trick?”
~~~
“It’s up to you, little brother,” Niji reported when his time ran out. 
“Don’t worry, I’ve been watching these pretty hands,” Yonji assured him, kissing your fingers before he sat down. His dark eyes seemed fierce without colored glasses to hide them, and his green hair was slicked back instead of swooping up and out like his older brothers. He wasn’t hiding his interesting features.
“So you think you know the trick,” you challenged, giving him a chance. 
“I think I’ll win your heart,” he swooned, and the sappy look on his face made your hands fumble while you shuffled the deck. 
He focused intently now as you laid them out, and revealed certain cards, counting down to the guess. 
“What card is—“
“Three of Spades,” he blurted out. “What’s your guess?”
“Three of Clubs.”
“Again.”
The youngest prince refused your small talk, avoiding your gaze until his final guess.
“King of Hearts,” Yonji beamed, puppy dog eyes finally on your face again. “What’s your guess, princess?”
Would it be weird to marry Kat’s favorite?
You didn’t glance at your sister, but knew she’d be watching while the green haired prince scored the first point, hearts practically floating around his head when you revealed the card. 
“I told you, princess,” Yonji vowed as he stole a quick peck to your cheek. “I’ll be the one to win your heart.”
~~~🌲🌲🌲~~~
~~~~~~
~~~⏰🌲🌲🌲⏰~~~
~~~⚫~~~
The man that had won your heart beamed when he saw you gazing up at him. His blue hair seemed to glow in the sun, but nothing could gleam like those strong arms, slick with sweat while he climbed down the ropes to meet you on the deck of the ship.
“Oh my, look at you,” Iceburg hummed, tying a bandana over his hair to catch that salty water before it dripped down his face. You stared at those gorgeous, purple tattoos that crawled down his shoulders and arms before he patted the top of your head. “Where’s your dad hiding?”
“He had to take a call, but I helped him write this proposal, so he said I could bring it to you,” you blushed, handing him the file.
“He’s got you working at thirteen,” he whistled, taking the document while he shook his head. 
“I’m fourteen now,” you declared. 
You couldn’t keep yourself from rolling onto your toes a bit, lifting your chin in hopeful challenge. 
“You’re gonna be running things soon, huh,” he smirked.
Mind going absolutely blank under his attention, you just gaped at him like a fucking creep.
“This ship’s almost finished.” Iceburg leaned close, knocking on the railing behind you. “Would you like a tour? It is your family’s wood that makes it so strong, after all.”
“I– Are you sure? I’ll be fine waiting if you need to get back to work. You don’t need to watch me.”
The desire to follow him around like a puppy was overpowered by the distaste at him feeling the need to babysit you, but the look on his face made you laugh, forgetting it all.
“I don’t wanna go back to work,” the handsome shipwright complained, scrunching up his face in a pout that rivaled your sister’s. “I’d rather show you around, and grab some lunch when your dad gets here. Can we?”
“Okay!”
~~~
This gorgeous, lovely man knew more about Sylvad wood than most of dad’s executives. Listening to him talk about it always made you happy, knowing that your family was part of something so important, so loved. 
Iceburg led you through the ship, telling you how he had worked each piece of lumber, how it all moved with the wind and the waves, even guiding you to slide your hand along the trees your family had grown, smooth and silky to the touch after he’d treated them. 
“Beautiful, isn’t it,” he praised softly, watching your hand against the wood before pulling a pen from his toolbelt. “Well, let’s go get some food, girlie. You can tell your dad what a great job you did presenting your proposal.”
“But you didn’t even read it,” you blurted out, shocked when he pressed the document against a wall to sign his name.
“You and Arbo are good people, plus you’ve got the best lumber in the world,” he laughed while he led you up the stairs toward the sound of footsteps. “I trust you.”
“Thank you, Mr. Iceburg… but you just agreed to build a small fleet to expand our shipping operations in the East Blue. Are you sure you’ll have time for that while you help Tom finish the sea train? Hi, daddy!”
“There’s my girl,” your dad grinned, kissing your temple when you joined him on the deck. “Make any deals without me?”
Iceburg handed the document over, waving his own copy in your direction. Your skin flushed with heat again when he snuck you a wink while your dad glanced at his signature. 
“She’s very convincing. You’ll be able to retire in no time if she keeps this up.”
He was the perfect man. Strong, kind, silly, sweet, and so painfully hot, it drove you mad. You’d had a few crushes on your classmates over the last couple of years, but nothing compared to the way you felt when Iceburg looked at you like that. 
“I don’t doubt it,” your dad praised. He wrapped his arm around the shipwright’s shoulders, nodding his head toward the docks. “Is Kokoro still making that delightful curry?”
“I’ll never let her stop,” Iceburg laughed while he led the way. “Tom should be over there too, let’s go grab some lunch and catch up.”
“Sounds perfect. Do you want to come, sweetheart?”
~~~⚫~~~
~~~⏰🌲🌲🌲⏰~~~
~~~~~~
~~~🌲🌲🌲~~~
He’s not who I thought he was. He’s a creep. Another leech trying to latch on and drain as much berry from me as he can. Don’t forget. 
You were pathetic, getting flustered while he watched your hands, his calm voice taking away all your caution. 
“I have to apologize,” Iceburg hummed while you shuffled.
“Why is that?”
“Mm, well,” he looked down at his striped jacket while he patted his pocket. “I left Tyrannosaurus with my secretary. I didn’t think bringing a pet would be… I should be more focused on you.”
“What do you— oh!”
The cards scattered across the table when you jumped, laughter sneaking out of you. 
“This is Velociraptor,” Iceburg announced as a field mouse crawled out of his breast pocket. “I found him during the chase, I hope it’s alright to have pets during our stay. Are you okay, Y/N?”
“I’m fine, sorry,” you recovered from losing yourself in that laughter before gathering the cards again. Your eyes were still watering when you watched the cute creature dive back into his pocket after a few soft pets from his strong fingers. “Can you guess the card?”
“Oh my,” his brows furrowed, watching your waiting hands. “I really need to pay attention, don’t I? I’d love to spend some more time with you.”
He leaned forward, his height making him tower over you at the little table, and you found yourself blinking up at him.
Forgetting.
“I…”
“Is it the Seven of Clubs?”
“No, Mr… No, Iceburg.”
~~~
Prince Fukaboshi was led through the courtyard by a few attendants, both fishmen and mermen featured amongst the group. He looked down at you, mouth opening to speak before Uncle’s voice carried over.
“Why don’t we give our hunter a closer look?”
Grabbing onto the edge of the table took all of your focus, and you knew that your fake smile fell when you started moving through the air. The ground flew away, the wooden platform beneath you rising up toward the prince, gentle surprise on his face.
The snails on the table didn’t seem phased by the change in elevation, and it was hard to pretend they didn’t exist while they slowly shifted positions to better capture you and your date for the audience below. 
You decided not to look down to determine what kind of contraption had lifted you so high, instead looking at the prince before you. Fukaboshi took up your entire field of vision, and it was easy to see the concern on his expansive face.
“Are you alright, Miss Sylvad?”
His teeth look so sharp…
“Please, Prince Fukaboshi,” you trembled, focusing on the cards as much as you could, “call me Y/N. Can you guess the— oh, I’m sorry, are you familiar with these sorts of playing cards?”
You were barely hanging on. He spoke, he guessed, and you could feel the rumble of his voice even though your mind wasn’t quite letting it in. Your body performed without you, your lips reciting words that carried no meaning. 
“This courtship custom is unlike any I have seen before,” the prince frowned while you set up the cards for the last guess. “Since it is all strange to me, I couldn’t be certain, but…”
The pause was long enough for you to meet his eyes, so large, and filled with what looked like compassion. 
No. 
“Miss Y/N, I am seeking your hand so that my people can gain protection and resources so that they never suffer the cruelty and humiliation of slavery again,” Fukaboshi declared. The snails on the table lowered their eyes, but his voice boomed too loud to hide. 
Bells. 
“That is—“
“I never want to see anyone treated the way my sister was by those monsters at the Reverie.”
“Monsters?”
The dangerous question barely made it past your lips before the platform jolted, slowly bringing you down, away from his determined face while the bells kept ringing. 
“Are you being held against your will? I cannot abide another moment of this if you are being used like a pet for their amusement.”
“N-no,” you panicked, craning your neck to see him while you shook your head, hands pleading, voice dripping with lies. “You are so kind, thank you, Prince Fukaboshi! I’m sorry, I must seem scared, but I’m just nervous. This is all a bit overwhelming, but I promise I am glad to be here!”
“Your turn’s over, Prince. You heard the girl.”
Cracker’s manic smile appeared as the table sank to the ground. It felt like your frantic heart had been left in the sky, floating up there with those huge, concerned eyes. 
“Thank you, Prince Fukaboshi,” you beamed, feeling forever selfish at the temptation. 
I can’t risk a stranger, a whole kingdom. I’m not worth it. 
Neither of us would make it out alive anyway. 
“It has been my honor,” he said evenly, though his eyes were scanning the crowd now, a new tension held within his enormous, warrior’s body. 
The snails woke up, those slow moving eyes reminding you that the show must go on.
“You’re a good girl, aren’t you?”
“I’m sorry?” 
Cracker sat down, and the platform probably should have lifted a bit as the shirtless man was closer to your reality, but he was still even taller than… 
You had to stop comparing these men to your daydreams. 
“Eight of Diamonds… Damn,” he brushed off his loss before looming over you. His dark, brown glove was softer than you expected it to be when he cupped your cheek, almost the whole side of your face. 
“You understand family duties, don’t you?”
All you could do was nod under the wild look he gave you.
He’s fucking unstable.
“That’s good. Family is everything.”
Is he flirting? 
A dangerous giggle almost escaped, but you kept it in, smiling sweetly while he failed every guess.
The bells finally rang out, but they couldn’t save you from his last words, his promise.
“Our family needs you, Y/N. I don’t care if you’re my wife or my sister, I’ll protect you with my life.”
~~~
This time you were grateful for the moving platform, a reason to look away from Cracker’s confident face. The true reason for the movement came into view, his brother waiting patiently for you to settle just below his eye level. 
Those eyes… 
Charlotte Katakuri was too fucking tall. Too fucking scary. Crimson eyes assessed you, his arched brows and sharp nose not nearly harsh enough to distract from those thick, dark lashes of his.
He’s too fucking pretty.
Now that you were this close, you could see scars on both of his cheeks. They led down toward his mouth, still concealed by that massive scarf. Prince Fukaboshi’s sharp teeth came to mind when you wondered what he could be hiding, so you shuffled and shuffled, trying to think about anything else.
“It’s good to see you, Y/N,” his polite voice made you shiver, seeming to vibrate the elevated stage you were perched on. 
“Same to you, Katakuri,” your voice shook. You couldn’t afford to show this much fear. Predators always looked for weak prey. “Would you mind helping me with a little trick?”
“If that’s what you wish,” he agreed. There was no way to tell if the hint of a smile you heard in his voice was truly hidden beneath his scarf, but it set you on edge, nonetheless. 
“Can you guess the card?”
“It’s the Ten of Hearts.”
He stated it as if it were true, as if he were simply remarking on the weather around him.
And it was true. You’d known it before you revealed it, this simple math trick like the comforting rhythm of a familiar heartbeat. 
“You’re right,” you breathed when you turned it over. “Care to go again?”
Katakuri nodded slowly, but his eyes never left your face, ignoring the cards on the table until you asked for his next guess.
“The Queen of Hearts.”
“Yes. Have you seen this trick before?”
“In a way,” came his cryptic response. “Shall we go again?”
He definitely wasn’t paying attention to the cards. Those stunning eyes were so fucking intense as they bore into your skin that you almost forgot to do the math before you asked for his next guess.
Then you wished you had forgotten.
“What’s the–”
“Shuffle again.”
“But you haven’t–”
You stopped breathing when one of his giant hands shot toward you, his fingers sooo fucking big when he laid them over yours. 
Delicate. This giant was gentle when he covered your hands, covered the cards, practically covered half the little table.
“This card makes you sad,” he whispered, though there was no point with all the surveillance, and with his booming voice at the center of attention. But still, he whispered. “Why don’t you shuffle again?”
Fuck. fuckfuckfuck. Stop. 
There you go. Just smile. 
A small miracle let you slip out of your body, out of your mind, while you shuffled the unrevealed Six of Spades back into the deck. 
Katakuri was still quiet, still watching. So polite while he guessed the right card, letting you pull yourself back together.
Hiding all the struggle behind your Sylvad smile.
“Thank you, Y/N,” he touched your hand again when the platform started to lower. “I’m looking forward to our next meeting.”
You hadn’t noticed the bells.
~~~🌲🌲🌲~~~
~~~~~~
~~~🐊🤡🗡️~~~
“When are you leaving?”
“There’s no point in waiting,” Mihawk avoided the larger man’s eyes. “The sooner I convince the competition to back out, the sooner Y/N will be free of them.”
“Yeah, but how,” Buggy sighed from his lap, the swordsman’s skilled fingers nearly dragging him down to sleep already. “How the fuck are you gonna convince these assholes that they don’t wanna marry her? She’s perfect! Plus, they get in on that stupid company, and get whatever other bullshit DickHole is selling. What can you do besides poke ‘em with your fancy stick?”
“That’s what I plan to find out,” Mihawk smiled, though the finality in his tone was enough.
“Come on, Buggy,” Crocodile nudged his legs aside, offering the clown his hand while he stared at their determined lover. “Let’s remind our little bird why he should fly back home when he’s done pecking people’s eyes out.”
Buggy let out an exhausted giggle while Mihawk shivered, his eyes rolling back just a bit. Just enough.
“You thought you could run away that easily, huh,” Crocodile threatened with his words, and with the tip of his hook below that sculpted chin.
More guilt almost tore the clown away while he watched them, but Buggy chugged his sugary drink, grateful for the quiet of faraway sleep. He started to pull the swordsman up by the collar of his frighteningly fancy jacket, and that arched brow was an instinctual warning.
The clown heeded the warning, loosening his grip on the jacket, only to yank the man off the couch by his hair. Crocodile joined in on his smug laughter, roughly pulling Mihawk against him before he’d stopped moaning from the unexpected pain.
“You’re not leaving tonight.”
Heavy. 
Whatever they held between them felt heavier than either had expected.
“I’ll go get the bed ready,” Buggy sighed as he half floated toward the door, “but I’ll need another drink if you guys take too long.”
~~~🗡️🤡🐊~~~
~~~~~~
~~~🗡️🐊🗡️🐊~~~
“Are you alright?”
Mihawk laughed at the question, and Crocodile wanted to shake him. He was sick of seeing his lovers fall apart right in front of him, with nothing he could do, or even understand.
He ached to understand this man. They had faced each other in battle just a few years ago, but that Summit War felt like a fever dream now.
Not that this new life didn't feel like a dream.
This man…
Crocodile kept getting him. Meeting him in ways that both surprised, and soothed him. 
Mihawk laughed again at the thought of new vocabulary, but Crocodile pulled him close.
“I’m not ready to lose my business partner,” Crocodile confessed, the words too heavy for the smirk he tried to give. 
The words were enough.
Mihawk laid his deadly fingers along that silk vest, silently asking for a kiss while he stared up at the taller man. 
The swordsman felt like a fraud. 
How could someone like him that had carried nothing for so long be filled with so much? He didn’t want to lie anymore than he already had. 
Crocodile gave him what he wanted. A heavy kiss.
“Let’s not keep our clown waiting,” Crocodile rasped, tracing his thumb along Mihawk’s sharp features. 
“Wouldn’t dream of it.”
~~~🗡️🐊🗡️🐊~~~
~~~~~~
~~~🗡️🤡🐊~~~
They’re holding hands… 
Crocodile and Mihawk had called through the door, all of their hands occupied until Mihawk handed the slack-jawed clown another cocktail. 
“Nice room service,” Buggy tried to recover. 
“Come here, little clown.”
The scarred man let go of one lover to reach for another. Cupping his hand along Buggy’s jaw, with those large fingers combing into the hair at the back of his neck, Crocodile breathed down on him until he was nodding, red lips still parted.
“I haven’t been giving you enough attention,” Crocodile purred, squeezing his face lightly when Buggy tried to argue. “But it looks like we’re gonna have plenty of alone time soon. Plenty of time for me to spoil you.”
“Y-yup! Lots of…”
“Is that what you want?”
“Sure, whatever you say, bos— Yes, daddy.”
“Good boy.”
Buggy disconnected at the ankles to float up into Crocodile’s deep kiss. He nearly spilled his drink before the larger man lowered him down again, eyes dark and satisfied while he watched his clown. 
“You deserve more attention, but you handled him so well. Help me remind—“
“Let’s fuck him up, daddy!”
Buggy downed his drink with one hand while the other snuck past Crocodile’s body to wrap around Mihawk’s throat. 
“You do know that I’m still Dracule Mihawk, don’t you?”
Wicked fingers dug into the floating hand, dragging it down his own chest while he resisted. 
“Whatcha gonna do, Hawkeyes? Stab me? Slice me,” Buggy laughed, setting down his glass before sending his other hand. 
Crocodile started to undress, chuckling softly at his boys. 
The air shifted as danger, delicious danger, poured from the swordsman while he leaned into Buggy’s touch, forcing his floating hands closer to his own body with every taunting step.
“I’m going to play.”
Mihawk’s golden eyes seemed to flicker with his threat, and Buggy felt a flash of fear, a glimpse of a beast. In that moment, he almost gave in, almost let the beast win.
Wherever his burst of confidence came from, Buggy went with it.
“Why don’t you play with daddy’s balls then, huh, crybaby?”
One of the clown’s hands broke free from that hold, and Mihawk couldn’t fight the moan that tore through him when gloved fingers ripped into his hair again, forcing him to look at Crocodile. The larger man was so very large, stroking himself while he sat on the edge of the bed. 
Gods, that fucking cock.
Buggy took advantage of Mihawk’s wonderment by kicking the backs of his knees until he hit the floor, and wrapped himself around the swordsman’s back to leave lipstick-stained bites along his neck. 
“Don’t lie. You wanna get fucking wrecked, don’t you?”
“I don’t like liars,” Crocodile teased, circling his thumb over his tip, taking in a quick breath of satisfaction at the desperate look on Mihawk’s face at the sight. “Do you want us to wreck you, little prince?”
Mihawk melted as that lovely hook pressed into his throat. Buggy rubbed himself against his back, and the swordsman laughed, feeling entirely fucking spoiled. 
“Please, daddy.”
What a fucking sight… 
The scarred man still couldn’t understand how these lovely men were somehow his, not after everything he’d done, everything he’d felt before. Watching Mihawk beg so sweetly while Buggy stripped him made Crocodile’s cock so hard it almost hurt, his rough fingers easing up against that sensitive flesh, until wicked fingers, wicked lips, replaced his own grip. 
“Fuck. Such an evil little mouth you’ve got– Shit…”
Buggy realized his own mouth was hanging open as he undressed, but he couldn’t care to close it while he watched Mihawk swallow more than looked humanly possible.
“Help me out, Buggy,” Crocodile groaned while he gripped Mihawk’s hair, his hand bobbing up and down with that pretty face. “Stretch out our filthy prince for me. No way he’s leaving here before I ruin that perfect, little ass.”
Sloppy, muffled whines escaped him, and Mihawk’s eyes rolled at the daunting threat. Buggy was there, lubed, and ungloved fingers fucking into him until he shook with need, with pleasure. 
“Get over here,” Crocodile growled, stepping back to yank Mihawk toward the bed by the hook around his neck. Buggy helped him along, floating hands lifting that moaning form into place. 
Mihawk’s place was on his hands and knees in the center of the bed, and he lost himself there in the tender and vicious touches his lovers showered him with. In their praise and teasing, pleasure and pain. In the taste of Buggy’s skin as he shoved his cock down his throat. 
He absolutely fucking lost himself when Crocodile lined himself up. He was the world’s greatest swordsman, and he enjoyed pain a great deal. Yet his former enemy was about to pierce him so thoroughly that Mihawk whimpered around Buggy's length, almost afraid. 
Then he felt nothing but that heavy cock, stretching, and claiming, and filling him until tears streamed from his golden eyes.
“So good, so fucking good for me,” Crocodile grunted. He dragged his hook down Mihawk’s side, still not believing what he was seeing. 
Dracule fucking Mihawk, moaning around a clown’s cock while his pretty, little hole sucked him in again and again. 
“Let’s give our twisted prince what he wants, eh, Buggy? Make sure he remembers where he belongs.”
Buggy stuttered in agreement, nearly gone before he obeyed. He tore at Mihawk’s hair while his other hand scraped brutally down his back. The twitching that his rough hands caused forced his cock even deeper until he spilled his pleasure down that desperate throat.
Crocodile sliced his hook around the swordsman’s body, pouring red from that perfect chest while he stuffed his little prince full. The overwhelming sensations had Mihawk coming harder than he’d thought possible, and the sounds he made were unreal. Pathetic. 
Music to the ears of his sated lovers. 
The clown didn’t need to be ordered or asked, Buggy just helped Mihawk stay steady while they pulled out of him. So many praises showered them both while the swordsman just breathed, assessing his every, vicious ache. 
Crocodile hated to leave for even a moment, but he didn’t need to worry. Buggy’s hands had already flown to the bathroom to wash themselves, spilling a bit of soap on the counter before grabbing what he needed. When Crocodile returned from the shower, Buggy was still wiping the other man clean, humming while he trailed gently over that perfect skin. 
Mihawk’s skin was littered with scars of battle and lust, of trust, and he had just enough energy for a weak smile as Buggy’s fingers danced over them all. He moaned, twitching in those gentle arms while his lovers washed him in the shower, no way to recover this soon. 
“Don’t whine, crybaby,” Buggy mumbled, too focused on cleaning and bandaging his wounds while Mihawk melted into the burn. “We’ll slice you up some more when you get back.”
“He’s right,” Crocodile hummed. Seeing these lovely boys taking care of each other gripped something deep within his chest. Whatever it was sparked fear in him, so much so that he had to pause while they laid Mihawk on the fresh sheets between them. 
I can’t lose them. Can’t lose any of them. 
“We’ll be waiting, little bird,” he pressed a kiss to Mihawk’s temple. Contented, sleepy sounds filled the air, and he tried to trust that this lovely new world wasn’t about to end. “Fly back home, alright?”
He couldn’t shape words, but Mihawk hummed his promise before he drifted away.
Home…
~~~🗡️🤡🐊~~~
~~~~~~
~~~🌲🌲🌲~~~
“Morning, Y/N— well, afternoon by now, isn’t it?”
You shuffled just to have something to focus on while you simpered for him. 
The traitor. 
“Good afternoon, Shanks. I’m looking forward to our date this evening. Since you already won, I’m afraid you’re out of the running for the next date. We have to give everyone a chance, of course.”
“Of course.” 
You couldn’t fucking believe the charm that oozed off of him when he beamed at you. 
“I’d still like to try your little game though, if that’s alright, gorgeous?”
Shanks stayed quiet while you laid out the cards, some face up, some face down, before you counted down twenty two from the remaining deck. 
A comforting rhythm, the answer already dancing in your mind. 
“It’s the Eight of Clubs,” Shanks purred, touching the back of your hand. Lingering against your skin.
He looked so fucking smug. 
A sick stillness went through you before you revealed his answer. 
Of course, he knows this trick. He probably learned it before the first time he betrayed—
“Let’s go again,” Shanks ordered, the heat in his voice sending shivers across your shoulders, crawling up your neck. 
The eyes of his competition were on you, but the Emperor looked at you like you were already his. Like you were spread out before him, venison for the skilled hunter to devour. 
“Shuffle,” Shanks threatened, catching your chin in his dangerous fingers. 
Just smile. Just pretend.
“I’m not done playing with you yet, little bunny.”
~~~🌲🌲🌲~~~
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Likes, comments, and reblogs bring me much ✨dopamine✨ thank you!!
Author's Note:
Oh my goodness. Thank you so much for waiting, and for reading that giant chapter!! 🥰🙏🏼 I hope you enjoyed it, I've been going bonkers waiting to hear all your thoughts on this big ol' mess!
Let me know in the poll if you'd be interested in a separate post of my OP canon + Numbers Game canon timeline. It would give away reader's specific age, so I don't want to share it if people don't want to know!
Note on the Brochure: All of the character details included in the brochure are from Oda, except for the quotes and the missing details for Giberson. I found them on the One Piece Fandom Wiki if you’d like to go check out more about the characters' history. I live on that site, and have to give those fans the credit for compiling all those details! I already spend hours searching for specific parts in the anime for things like lines for speech patterns and such, I’d be lost without the wiki!
Note on the Card Trick: I must confess, I am not as skilled with numbers as our Numbers Girl. This is the same trick I had Buggy use during the flashback of their first night together, and I have no idea if this 15 year old youtube video is full of shit or not, but if you'd like to try it out, here's the tutorial!
Note on this line from the beginning of the chapter: "The White Stag. The hunted. The prey." Kiki Rockwell's voice has been living in my brain, and I realized this line is similar to hers in Burn Your Village "You do not dance everyday with the fear Of living in headlights, the hunted, the deer"
That song is so good, and fits so well! 🦌😭
Anyhoo, I'm off to try to catch up on all of your wonderful comments! Y'all mean the world to me, thank you so much!!! 🙏🏼💜
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Tag List: @shewrites02 | @caniseethefourthsword | @hey-august | @chaoticqueen33 | @destinationmars | @novakitten0901 | @h0n3y-l3m0n05 | @dorky-birdie | @szired | @pinejayy | @laws-wife-things | @jadeddangel | @gingernut1314 | @urlocaltwink | @blue-rae18 | @bontensbabygirl | @bbnbhm | @0-sparkling-lace-0 | @ihearthazuki | @mikisspeak | @djloveyou3000 | @mercymccann | @horse-and-writer97
Part 33
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Operation Olive Branch has compiled a working spreadsheet of ways to help families fleeing from the genocide in Palestine. If you enjoyed this fic, and are able, please click the link to find a list of GoFundMe's, as well as other ways to help.
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| masterlist | about me | rules | ao3 |
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ghaniblue · 1 month
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HD wireless recs: weeks 3, 4 & 5
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I won't be able to read all Wireless fics until reveals, but I wanted to post at least one more reclist for the creations that I did manage to read/look at/listen to and enjoyed from weeks 3, 4 & 5. ❤️ means favourite. -- creators added after reveals.
>>Recs from weeks 1 & 2 <<
👻 Antelucan Ruins (E, 29k) by @rainjulyx
From the bloody Prophet, Draco discovers Harry Potter’s death splashed in grey ink printed on the front page. Potter is dead before Draco gets to see him again to fulfil a half-spoken promise. And yet, these days Draco has the power to bend the world to his heart’s desires, and that includes fucking Harry Potter even after he personally saw Potter’s pale, lifeless body lying in a coffin before it got buried under the soil.
"Do you realise that you're just as pathetic and insane? You're so hung up on the idea of me that you'd fuck a ghost, Malfoy. You risked your life for it."
Draco puts an arm around Potter's body, "Whoever says I am sane? Certainly not me. It's calculated risk with more success rate than failure. And you are dead, Potter. You refuse to move on to the next realm because you crave for my cock."
I love it when the are unhinged for each other. Not even death can do them part.
❤️🏡 A Quiet Life (T, digital art) by @getawayfox
After their relationship becomes public knowledge; after being hounded by the paparazzi; after Draco says enough is enough and leaves London; Harry’s more than happy to follow.
After all, a quiet life is all he’s ever wanted.
This Draco is so very pretty. Love the casually intimate pose.
👬 The Shape I found you in (not rated, digital art) by @veneficusposts
But your heart was busy within,
Building bomb shelters under your skin.
That's the shape I found you in
The character design is so cute.
❤️🍻 Closing Time (E, 18k) by @sweet-s0rr0w
Draco’s been invited to Neville’s stag party in Bristol, and he's confident he knows what to expect. There’ll be too many Gryffindors, for starters, plus a few humiliating team-building activities, some dodgy clubs, and a truly preposterous level of alcohol consumption. But… a drunken Harry Potter climbing into Draco's bed when he’s having a wank? No, he definitely didn't see that coming…
Such easy prose; effortlessly funny, lovely Drarry sexual tension, and a great Ron, too.
🗞 crawlin' helpless on the floor (M, 1,5k) by @stationintern
It doesn't take much to torment a man when he's three broken contracts away from being out of a job and down a newspaper.
Such a lovely little atmospheric piece; sparse but creates such a mood.
💪 Too Good At Raising Hell (E, 87k) by @the-sinking-ship
When Harry Potter walks into Draco’s nightclub looking like trouble, Draco can’t stop staring. He really ought to train his dick not to react so enthusiastically to red flags, but where would be the fun in that?
This is just fun. There's clubbing, underground fighting, criminal shenanigans and quite a bit of sex.
🏏 Say When (E, 23k) by @lqtraintracks
When Auror Harry Potter is sent in undercover to determine if Draco Malfoy is laundering money through his BDSM club, will he be able to keep up the ruse and close the case? Or, more to the point, will he keep from falling in love?
I haven't read 'undercover at sex club' in ages. Soft Dom!Draco & sub!Harry, and their mutual inability to keep it professional are a great combo.
😴 Perpetual Motion, Perpetual Sound (E, 51k) by @dodgerkedavra
Harry Potter can’t sleep.
This fic surprised me. I thought it was one thing, and then it went in an entirely different direction when the plot kicked in.
🏘 Two Houses (E, 11k) by @tackytigerfic
Two households, both alike in... meddling Floo connections, apparently?
Draco Malfoy is a highly professional and well-respected Ministry official, with a demanding schedule, a loving son, and—through no fault of his own—a faulty Floo connection that keeps regurgitating the Minister for Magic through his fireplace.
Love older Drarry and meddling houses. Made me smile.
🇫🇷 A Case of You by epitomereally - a Podfic (E, ~12h) read by @cailynwrites
Draco was doing just fine working as an Unspeakable in Paris, hanging out with his living and ghostly pals, inventing new spells, and definitely not thinking about Potter. Then, Lucius just had to break out of prison and turn his world upside down.
Now, Draco has to return to England, where he is forced to confront how family ties bind us—and one infuriatingly fit Harry Potter.
I didn't finish the whole podfic yet (12h!), but I like the narrator and what I did manage already was lovely and very easy to listen to.
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stagmalinay · 25 days
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Visiting Nobel Bell college was definitely interesting and unexpected. The idea about everything being backwards was cool, and I got to try my hand at fake magic too. Unfortunately, the student council president went crazy and created a great, big, flowery mess. I'll admit, it was nice that for once, not being magical was actually helpful. I can't say I'll ever like gardening after this experience though...
Anyway, once we took care of the student council president, the masquerade ball was on as scheduled! Which is really good because not only did Malleus get to do his whole song and dance thing, but this very complementary outfit didn't go to waste. And now, it's time to enjoy the night.
Care to dance?
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Just one song though. There's a line, you know. 😉
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weirdmarioenemies · 6 months
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Name: Insectiride
Debut: Mario Party 6
Mario and friends get up to all sorts of shenanigans! Many of these are dangerous shenanigans, and I would prefer not to get involved with them. If I were to fall in lava or be hit by a barrage of hammers thrown by a turtle, I would Die! I lament this fact, but I am no scrimblo. However, some of the antics are good safe fun, and that includes the act of racing in funny bug-shaped vehicles! I wish I could do that in real life!
Though there is a snail among these insects, for the sake of simplicity, I will call all these creatures Bugs. I usually reserve that term for arthropods, but I don't feel like saying "creepy-crawlies" a bunch of times in this post like some kind of Talking Flower. So Bugs. There are some people who'd call a snail a bug without even a disclaimer! Can you imagine that?
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Players begin Insectiride by choosing their vehicle out of the four unique options! I think I played this minigame once and I THINK I used the grasshopper. I think it still might be my favorite! I'm sorry to this snail, but I don't like it much. It looks like pizza, and I like pizza a lot- I regularly observe #pizzafriday- but it's just not the sort of thing I'd like a snail's skin to remind me of.
Each of these bugs has its own control scheme! The player on the ladybug must press the indicated button ten times quickly to make it crawl forward a bit. The player on the grasshopper must press a sequence of various buttons to make it hop forward a few times. The player on the stag beetle must press each indicated button that appears one at a time, each press making it push along a bit. And finally, the player on the snail must press A when its body extends fully to make it pull the shell along behind.
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When playing this with humans, there is probably no one Best Bug to reliably choose, since human reaction time must be taken into account. If playing against ambitious robots, however, there is absolutely an imbalance! In tool-assisted speedruns, Grasshopper is the winner, followed by Ladybug, Stag Beetle, and poor Snail in last...
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Mario Party 6 is a Koopa Kid Game! And there is official art of him riding the funny ladybug mechanism! I'm glad he got to have fun here. We all know he isn't having fun where he is now... in the Purgatory Zone... poor kid. Oh well! That's life!
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Those were the only four bug vehicles present in Insectiride, but in Mario Party 3's Ridiculous Relay, there was another! Way before all the rest! Here we have a Skeeter-inspired contraption, allowing the operator to maneuver across the surface of the water! I think this would be the main mode of transportation in Wet-Dry World, for those who are not already Skeeters. Between being a mecharthropod and having a strange control scheme that must be displayed to the player, I would not at all be surprised if this was an inspiration for Insectiride!
Now don't think you're getting out of this post without some real Bug Facts! Humans, of course, are much too large to ride on a bug. To be small enough to ride a bug, you would have to be a bug yourself. And some bugs do indeed do this! This is phoresy, the interaction in which one animal will latch onto another animal for the purpose of travel. Usually, the hitchhiker will be a tiny arachnid such as a mite (including ticks), or my favorite arachnid, a pseudoscorpion!
Phoresy is EXTREMELY funny to me. A teensy little critter will just grab onto the leg of a fly or something, and away they will go! Hang on tight! This is a type of symbiosis known as commensalism, where one organism (in this case, the one hanging on) benefits, while the other (the host) is largely unaffected. Humans riding horses is another example of phoresy! A human can be like a mite sometimes. Ok, see you later! *grabs onto a hoverfly's leg and flies away*
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A party at a friend's house turns into a fun night of naughty shenanigans with friends...
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At first it was a regular weekend party, just a random get together to bbq and reconnect with friends. Max, a very long time friend of mine, and his lovely wife Amy, liked to host these sort of parties every summer. The grill was hot, the Cornhole bags were flying, the drinks were flowing, and the pool felt great on a hot summer afternoon. We had a great time socializing, but as the night went on, everyone slowly started to filter out. One here, a couple there, until it was only a few of us left. Max and Amy were tired from the chaos and a little drunk so they decided to turn in early but told everyone to make themselves at home. Next to the pool was a hot tub, and several of the guests had made their way that direction. The people that had been in for a bit were getting out to leave as we made our way down there with our friends. There was one random guy, Mike, left in the hot tub as we got in. I'd known him since high school and he was honestly a little weird. Our crew comprised of myself, and my sexy wife Leah that I'd been on many sexy adventures with. We are a stag and vixen couple and know how to have some fun, especially in the water. Then there was Summer and Austin, Summer a childhood friend of mine that I'd known for the better part of 20 years, was now fully grown and married to Austin. The two made a good looking, fit and active couple in their late 20s. We were having an incredible time with the other couple and really vibing.
Music. Drinks. The warmth from the tub, all lead to some serious sexual tension. Mike, the random, could feel it in the air between the two couples. He saw the flirting, the touching and fully knew what was about to happen, he wasn't budging either. He really badly wanted in on it, but we didn't want him there for the fun that was about to be had. Luckily Mike was extremely drunk and only getting worse as time passed in the hot water. We were able to eventually convince him he needed to go in and lay down. Problem solved.
Now down to just the four of us, the conversation and vibe got even more sexual. The girls had started playing "never have I ever" which lead to Summer saying, with a giggle, "never have i ever been spotroasted!". To which Leah put a finger down. Summer gasped and jokingly poked fun at her for the naughty deed. Leah replied, "you gotta try it sometime! It feels so good to be getting taken from behind while you have a nice hard on in front of you to suck on!". Summer said "it doesn't sound all that bad. Maybe we should give it a try!?" At that I gave Leah a wink and she knew they were in. I told Austin he could sit next to Leah if he'd like with a sly grin. Excitedly he looked at his wife for a nod of approval. Which she granted. As we shifted around so he could sit next to Leah, I ended up really close to Summer. Now, "how to get these girls naked" I asked myself, simple. I asked them, "You both have pretty nice tits but which one of you has the better nipples?" And with that the tops came off to compare.
Summers breasts were a thing of beauty. Large, perfectly shaped, and fantastic looking. I'd always enjoyed seeing her tits when she'd get drunk and pull them out on our yearly float trips. Leahs breasts while not quite as big, were still perfect and very fun to look at. Firm, perky and not a flaw to be found, I had always loved playing with and sucking on her nipples. And never to be shown up, she also didn't mind pulling them out either! Austin, picking up on the game, said "well I know what Summers tits feel like, and Tyler knows what Leah's feel like, I should probably feel Leah's and Tyler should feel Summers.... You know for science" the girls shrugged in agreement and guided our hands to their chests. Perfect.
After that it was on. Leah and Summer, with a surprising idea, wanted to see what each other's husband's thought of their blowjob skills. The girls had us stand up, helped us out of our swim trucks and had us sit on the edge of the hot tub. Kneeling down in front of Austin, Leah was the first with a cock in her mouth, bobbing and licking, twisting and stroking with enthusiasm. I knew exactly how good that felt. Summer and I watched in amazement for a few minutes before she went down on me. Except she didn't go straight for my erection. Instead she took my large balls into her mouth, while licking at the base of my sack, nearly licking my ass. What an incredible feeling. After she treated my balls to her warm mouth, she then pulled back and took my entire shaft down her throat in one quick, swift motion. While not quite as good as Leah, it was one of the better blow jobs I'd ever had. However the girls didn't want us to cum yet, so they stopped short and said it was their turn. Fair enough.
We repositioned once again, I sat back in the hot tub, and Summer climbed into my lap. She had removed her bottoms and for the first time I could feel her cleanly shaved pussy lips gliding over the head of my penis. Even in the water, I could tell how wet she excited she was. I so badly wanted to slide into her. But I had to wait. Summer slid down my body far enough to have her butt cheeks resting on my knees, she rocked back, her head next to mine, facing away from me, I hoisted her out of the water. Fully exposed to all of us and looking damn sexy with the warm water evaporating off her tattooed skin into the cool night air. Summer had wanted her pussy eaten and Leah was quick to volunteer, which surprised me. She'd never really shown an interest in girls. Summer spread her legs while I caressed her breasts and explorered her body with my hands. Leah then stood up in front of us, full nude and also looking sexy as hell. She leaned over and started making out with Summer, tongues wrestling in each other's mouths. Leah, bending at the waist, worked her way down, licking, pinching, lightly biting and sucking Summers erect nipples. She worked her way down her body before diving in to lick Summers clit. She used every trick I had ever used on her and had Summer shaking in no time. Two fingers between her tight lips and a tongue dancing across Summers little button, she was on the verge and ready to orgasm. What a sight to see. Leah looked so sexy bringing another woman to orgasm.
Summer, Leah and I were in our own little world and had barely noticed that Austin had moved around behind Leah and was fingering her. Summer and I finally noticed when Leah abruptly stopped eating pussy and got a contorted look of pleasure on her face. Austin had eased into her and began to slowly move in and out. He was several deep and long strokes into my wife before Summer, in a moment of clarity, told him to stop. She wasn't down with going that far tonight. So he stopped and pulled his erection from my wife's velvety walls. Summer also said she wasn't ready to experience that spitroast just yet either. But she wanted to watch Leah do it.
With everyone fully on board with that idea, I got up and spun Leah around, bending her over to take her from behind. I quickly slid my throbbing cock into her already extremely wet pussy. She then took Austin into her mouth too resume her fantastic blow job, which prompted a quick chain reaction. It was mere seconds before Austin was pumping shot after shot of hot cum down Leah's throat. Seeing this, I couldn't hold back anymore, I quickened my pace just before flooding her cervix with my sticky sperm, causing Leah to start squirting and orgasming to seizure like convulsions. As she was quivering, coming down from her orgasm, we looked over to see Summer had used her fingers to finish herself while watching the rest of us.
Things wrapped up pretty quick after that. Everyone exited the hot tub and got dressed, we headed home while Summer and Austin spent the night there. The next morning I got a text from Max. The text simply read, "so about this video on my security system from the back porch.... When's it my turn?"
It took a few weeks, but boy did he ever get a turn 😉
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rookfeatherrambles · 7 months
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So many ideas. Dumping them here for a pinned comment to keep track. When these have AO3 links, I'll list them here The Angel that Cries Ink (Jmart, Jonelias) Jon has been locked under the Magnus Institute for 200 years, waiting for one person. Martin Blackwood. IN PROGRESS)
Bound by Spider's Thread (Jmart, time travel, somewhat fix it, No sex, Annabelle asks Martin to kill a bitch for her in exchange for saving Jon's life somewhere else) WIP)
The Beast in your Heart (La bete dans coeur) Jonelias, Eventual jmart, Hunt!Jon, Kai!jon. Jon finds out about the watcher's crown ritual and chooses the nuclear option. To throw himself at another fear. He is subsequently transformed, and elias is not nice to jon when he finds out what he's done. Dead dove, very dark, very smutty WIP)
Chiaroscuro (Jmart, timsasha, Artist/Muse au. Jon is a infamous artist who paints the most captivating art but has remained out of the spotlight. A medical diagnosis makes him decide to retire, but he's going to do one final piece. Enter Martin, and Jon's inevitable falling in love with his final muse, no sex, ace jon (WIP
Under skies and sea (Vast Jon. No sjhip. Jon is becoming a sea bird. this is problematic for many reasons) WIP)
Sable Island AU (Jmart, Foggyskies, Jon is a low profile environmental researcher that takes a job on a remote island studying seabirds. He starts to become one, and chronicals his journey. Then Martin, the sun of Peter Lukas, one of two men that are wagering over Jon's life, crashes the supply boat onto the island. They reflect on life, and death (WIP
The Storm Singer : (Jmart, Jonpeter, Foggyskies) Jon is the last siren in the bay and he's sworn to destroy the man who ruined his life. Peter is the fisherman turned monster hunter that massacred Jon's people. He wants Jon dead because he killed his wife. Martin and Simon are also there and they are in love! (not with eachother) Sirens and Sailors! Smutty (WIP
The Lonely Bride: Jonpeter forced marriage. Martin refused to run away with jon in s4 and Peter offered him an alternative way out. Dark, exactly what it says on the tin. smutty (WIP
The Hunter's Stag (Jonpeter, fantasy au. Faerie au.) Jon is a magic white stag that was cursed by a faerie king, to run until he's caught and killed. Peter is the hunter that doesn't want to do that. They become friends. And then more. (WIP
Wintergreen AU: (noship. Jon is 8, has a boat, and is going to america. he gets caught in bad weather and picked up by the Tundra. Now there's a child on board his ship and Peter Lukas doesn't know what to do with him. Silly, lighthearted fun i guess. WIP)
I'm not your Protagonist (I'm not even my own): Jmart, Jonelias) Jon wakes up somewhere else and realizes he's not happy. He does his best to figure out why. (EVERYONE HAS TRAUMA AND GETS THERAPY FIC) WIP)
YEOMYTIM (Your eyes on mine, your Teeth in me _Jondaisy, WIP)
The Hearthwitch's Cat (Jmart, Fantasy) Jon is a powerful arch mage that learns a terrible secret and for his safety, becomes a cat. Martin is the hearthwitch he chooses to adopt as his owner. Fluffy, romance, silly fantasy shenanigans (WIP
The red strings of fate (Can go fuck themselves) Jonelias, eugenics au) Jon is someone who never ever wanted to have a partner, but the system matches him to some bastard name Elias Bouchard. Jon's only way out of having children (legally) is to be a holy terror of a wife. Shenanigans ensue. Smutty, fluffy, light hearted i guess. Elias is not evil and Jon is ace spec WIP)
Non TMA stuff:
Dawn of Shadows (Wip, fantasy)
Everyone loves Fucked Up Houses :) (wip, horror)
That weird creepypasta thing, (wip, horror romance)
A real War (wip, Everymanhybrid)
Mabel vs the Grim Reaper (wip, Gravity Falls)
Grimoire Falls (horror fantasy, gravity falls au)
If I think of more of these, I will add them!
ALSO IF YOU ARE CURIOUS, SEND ME AN ASK ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT! Seriously yell at me about my ideas please im desperate :))
EDITED 3/29/24
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lullaebies · 1 year
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Can I request when Daeron either claim Tessarion/ or she is hatched? It will also be amazing if it's slapstick funny at the expense of either Aegon or Aemond. Because we know that Helaena is too smart to be caught up in shenanigans.
This was very fun to write! Ended up as a whole sibling set moment, hehe. I went the hatching route as I generally believe in it! Hope you'll enjoy <3 (also forgive me for any mistakes, I ended up writing this till 1am lol) -
“I told you it will hatch,” Aegon says, the cobalt dragon fighting against the folds of the bedsheets squeaking. Aemond looks at the little hatchling intensely, but only Helaena dares to sit on Daeron’s bed, overwatching the dragon clawing the furs as if they were bears or stags.
“Is Tessie!” the four-year-old Daeron proclaims aloud, gathering the face of the beast into his hands. The dragons squeaks in his hands, but those squeaks turn to croons when Daeron nuzzles against its face.
“You can’t call it Tessie,” Aemond says, appalled. “That’s a tavern girl’s name, not a dragon’s.”
“What tavern girls do you know already?” Aegon snorts at him, poking at his side.
“There’s one in that song…” Helaena supplies, which only adds to make Aemond red. She briskly moves away from the topic, however, waving her hand. “But Daeron had a maid named Tessie,” she moves closer to her youngest brother, pinching him at the round of his cheeks. “Didn’t you?”
Daeron reddens and moves away from her grip. The little dragon releases a puff of smoke in discontent, and Helaena slides away carefully back to the edge of the bed, staring down at it.
“You are going to make the hatchling burn up, Hel,” Aegon says, and promptly brings his own hand to Daeron’s hair, if only to indicate further he does not mean the blue beast in their midst. Said blue beast tries to lunge at Aegon’s hand while Daern’s ears turn redder, too. He yelps and snatches it away quick enough, however. “Are baby dragons supposed to act like scaled rodents?”
Certainly, the whole of them wouldn’t know; little Tessie is a first hatching for their family.
Daeron, mildly offended on his bonded dragon’s behalf, hugs the dragons close and yells at him. “It’s Tessie, not rodent!”
The dragon even manages a little, blue flame that escapes from its mouth, to further drive the point in.
Aegon takes a step back defensively and puts his hands up in defeat, a goofy expression on his commonly sullen face. “Bah. Fine, it’s not mousy, that’s for sure. But Tessie is too normal of a name though, Mond’s right.”
Daeron pouts at that. “But…”
“It can still be Tessie,” Helaena says from the side of the bed. “But it might be nice to make it a part of a grander sounding name, for when it’s going to be big and mighty?”
“Part of…?”
“There’s a family of bush crickets named Tettigoniidea, we can change the spelling some—”
“No.” Aegon promptly halts her, and looks back at his youngest brother, trying to think. “Tessiefyre…? Like our dragons..? ugh, doesn’t sounds right,” he complains to himself, and turns to mutter. “Though it could hardly compare to Sunfyre, anyway…”
Aemond seems to give it the most thought, of the three. “Tessa… Tessarys? Tessaerra? Tessarion?”
“Tessarion,” Daeron seems to brighten up at that. He says it a couple more times to make it slide clearly off of his tongue, and looks down at the dragon in his arms. “Tessarion?” he asks. The dragon croons and presses its head against his finger.
“A good name,” Helaena says, and then dares come closer again, brushing a finger against the dragon’s wing. Aemond dares to come by closer as well, after standing stoically for quite a while. He has always wanted to get close to a dragon, but could never. The dragon he helped name lets him touch its back, for a moment brief, under Daeron’s approving gaze. There’s some calmness in Aemond, then.
Aegon then comes by himself, trying to reach for Tessarion too, last of the three. An inch from the dragon, and she tries to bite again. He shrieks away and escapes behind his baby brother on the bed. “That’s a goddamn snark, not a dragon!” he proclaims, to the rest of the sibling’s laughter.
“That’s a Tessie,” Daeron laughs as he pats the dragon again, smile positively vibrant.
“Tessie, schmessie,” Aegon says, bringing his hands to Daeron’s hair. “I still have you to pet, squirt.”
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