#stILL CAN'T REMEMBER HIS ACTUAL TAG
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He was about to kill you, Lex. Or divulge something you didn't want me to know.
— SMALLVILLE, "Forever" (4.21)
+ bonus from "Arctic" (7.20):
#smallville#smallvilleedit#svedit#lex luthor#jason teague#lionel luthor#clark isn't in these scenes but they're still very much#clex#sv 4x21#sv 7x20#dcmultiverse#my gifs#'why can't you see what's right in front of your face lex?' god. god. godddd.#I think there's a really interesting discussion to be had (with many potential viewpoints)#re: to what extent lex actually knew the truth either consciously or subconsciously at any particular time#and how much he was just in denial about it (and why)#I'm not really prepared to have that discussion in these tags but like#let's face it - lex figured out that clark had powers all the way back in 1x12#just because clark convinced him he was wrong at the time doesn't mean he just forgot that whole thing#and yet it seemed like the more seasons went on and the more obvious the truth became#especially the fact that clark was so heavily tied to all the alien weirdness of smallville#the more lex seemed to (subconsciously?) push back against accepting or recognizing that truth#I mean that's literally what he's doing in the 4x21 scene with jason#so it's like he both desperately wanted to know clark's secret but also didn't want to know at all#and that's just SO interesting#I mean jesus the 7x20 scene is supposed to be peak evil lex and yet he STILL has to be pushed into accepting the truth#and he does so with his eyes glistening because yeah he wanted to know clark's secret once upon a time but he never wanted THIS#(remember when lex told jonathan in s1 that he just wanted clark to have a happy normal life bc clark was such a good person?#and then he's told in 7x20 that to save the world he has to KILL clark and take that life away from him hahaha [crying] it's fine I'm FINE)#wow I really said 'I'm not prepared to have this discussion' and then just. proceeded to have it anyway huh. lmao oops
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Don't be too hard on yourself
#mx7net#atzsource#monstaxedits#ateezedit#ateez#monsta x#i.m#hongjoong#lucieblr#forfreddy#kpopccc#kflops#nugudomedit#malegroupsnet#dailybg#ultkpopnetwork#teresgifs#ok listen the gifs migh be incoerent a little and you're right#and so are the subs#tbf I used the official ones for the translation but I made some corrections grammatically speaking#but still this part of the interview made me so soft and emotional on a whole level#can't believe that changkyun is acting more as a father figure to him in these few seconds#instead of his actual mentor 😭#i wonder if he said something more to him...more advices some relief even#gosh i wish he's remembering these words especially rn#sigh...I wished Changkyun would have been his mentor rn instead of that mf I'n nit kidding#yes it's my mbb side talking rn foremost but also me who will never forget this moment bowt#*now#ok enough talking#i don't think anyone will read this tags anyway just wanted to put two cents here about how I felt
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Saiouma Puella Magi AU, but Kokichi takes Madoka's role and Shuichi takes Homura's.
For one, Kokichi's too naturally distrustful to just hear "I can grant you any wish :)" and not think ok where's the hook. So he just does what no one ever has & essentially interrogates Kyubey, so he knows it all even before he gets to make a contract. So, some of his classmstes are MGs & he won't become one himself BUT he still ends up tagging along to just protect them in his Kokichi ways. (Though I'm entertaining Kokichi lying about being a magical girl, because, well, it's Kokichi).
(I also got a small idea of Gonta being a magical girls and Kokichi originally tagging along him into labyrinths, Gonta also makes him a magic gun from the toy one he had, and at some point witches out & Kokichi manages to kill him with that gun. So he always has that spare Grief Seed on himself, bc it's still his best friend & he can't handle the idea of just giving it away or using it himself (he does anyway in the end).)
Shuichi prolly ends up being a new kid & it isn't like MadoHomu, the ppl who reach him first are Kaede & Kaito, classic. Kokichi's there, too, but he's his usual sus self. He's actually discouraging ppl from making a contract when they find out magic and miracles are real, which absolutely includes Shuichi. He's very vocal abt it, but he won't explain stutf, bc 1) he's a liar, so who'd believe him? and 2) he doesn't want them to witch out upon finding out the truth or, idk, murder everybody Mami-style.
Anyway, fast forward, bad things happen bingo & by the end of the run most charas are dead, there's Walpurgis nachting, and he makes his wish to bring back the ppl who died notably not as magical girls. Contract signed, he fights & fails, rip. I also thought it was similar to how he thought he could end the killing game by himself - he though he could finish Walpurgisnacht by himself, too. And he failed in both times. Whatevs.
Shuichi doesn't actually make his time travel wish for Ouma specifically, he wants to save all his friends. Timelines are messy esp at first bc he either tells then or it backfires or just makes himself look very sus bc he's trying not to tell them. He also realizes why Kokichi hadn't told anybody aby witches at some point, bc, yeah, it messes them a lot, assuming they believe it.
Still, Kokichi ends up one of the few people who are nearly always giving him a chance, not necessarily out of belief, but out of pragmatism - bro can stop time & knows the truth, that's just too useful. So they often work together & Shuichi grows closer to him but still we ain't there yet. But the thing is, Shuichi's time travel still makes Kokichi more & more powerful with each timeline, bc Shuichi usually goes back after Kokichi dies, so the universe figured out this guy's life's important. Anyway, another notable thing is the iconic Homura kills Madoka scene, but it's Saiouma with guest stars of Kaito & Maki. It's Walpy, it's not defeated yet, but the training trio are spent & just kinda accept their fate of turning into witches together. And then, boom, Kokichi appears & steals their Soul Gems for a sec & he's like did u know you can cleanse your Soul Gem with a darkened one? But it's a lie & he quickly tells them so, he just had a spare Grief Seed after cleansing his Soul Gem & he needs them to do some stuff. Shuichi can travel back in time & fix things, and Maki & Kaito are needed to fight Walpy here. He actually questions what happens to the timelines Shuichi leaves behin, and ofc he doesn't know. There's a chance they remain, so Kokichi needs Maki & Kaito to fight Walpy here.
Kaimaki leave, and Shuichi finally looks at Kokichi & realizes sth is Wrong. Kokichi struggles to hide how he's trembling & grimacing, and it's Kokichi, so obviously it must be extremely bad. Shuichi dreadfully realizes something worse, and he weakly asks Kokichi why aren't his wounds healing. And Kokichi just falls, laughing weakly, and Shuichi catches him & searches for his Soul Gem and, God, he knew it. It's nearly completely black. Kokichi laughs & admits he lied abt having two Grief Seeds, he only had one he never wanted to use. But they'll have the second one soon, so no need to worry. He asks Shuichi to maybe destroy his witch form as it's hatching, so he'll have the Grief Seed without any fighting… and he admits that he hates fighting, he hates this magical world and all its violence. He says that Kaito was right in calling him a coward, even here he just can't handle the idea of fighting any longer, he's so sorry. And Shuichi tells him he ISN'T a coward. He was scared, but he always followed everybody, trying to help, and when push came to shove he would always make a contract for the benefit of others rather than himself. He's a lot of things, but a coward isn't one. Kokichi actually tears up hearing that, and Shuichi promises he won't let him fight ever again, and especially he won't let him turn into a witch and hurt anybody, because he knows it's the last thing he's ever wanted. Even now he only accepts turning into a witch to help them fight to keep others safe. So Shuichi won't let him. Kokichi probably apologizes and thanks him and then he dies.
Keeping Kokichi from fighting starts off as a side quest that gains importance with time, bc it's something Shuichi won't compromise on (ah, trauma), which leads him to occassionally neglect others a bit, which makes them more likely to get hurt & ironically Kokichi more likely to make a contract, especially since he gets more powerful & Kyubey is more interested in him with each timeline. And that also makes him witch out super quick. Shuichi's paying more attention to him & over time grows resentful of others for how they're treating him. To Shuichi it's no question that Kokichi cares & is just doing his best to help, but nobody realizes that.
But the biggest obstacle in keeping Kokichi from fighting is actually Kokichi himself, bc he's too smart and nosy, lmao. Even if he knows nothing, he will find out quickly. Doesn't help that Kyubey wants him to make a contract.
Also, obviously Kaito is Sayaka-coded and Maki could be Kyouko-coded, so that's a thing, BUT it's usually Maki that witches out. Kaito is usually pretty close, but Kokichi intervenes & he survives, but Maki later cracks on her own (and since in the new timeline Kokichi isn't there, Kaito's the one to die, so he's still the secretary). So it's Kaito who gets the dramatic sacrifice. I imagine he genuinely hoped you could bring somebody back if you tried Very Hard & Kokichi called him a moron bc obviously it's not possible. If it was there'd be far less witches that there are. But it's Kaito, he doesn't listen to reason. So, Kokichi follows him to the labyrinth. At first Kaito's mad cuz what if Kokichi being there ruins the plan? Maki hates his guts! But eventually he gets hit pretty hard, and Kokichi is near immediately by his side, trying to help him get up, which kinda makes Kaito short circuit a little bc wait Kokichi's trying to help? But witch!Maki attacks them & Kokichi pushes Kaito away & gets caught himself (and choked until unconsciousness, naturally). Anyway, Kaito gets him away, Shuichi catches Kokichi & Kaito makes up his mind about going down with Maki & asks Shuichi to tell Kokichi that he's sorry. He doesn't get him, but he got hurt trying to protect him, so he'll believe in that if nothing else. F.
As for The WishTM, in the last timeline Shuichi lashes out at Kokichi for his willingness to just become part of the system. In no timeline has his wish actually helped, it did NOTHINHG, which OUCH but it also makes Kokichi think out of the box more & he becomes the Law of Cycles. And Shuichi realizes what is happening & freaks out bc Kokichi's doing it bc of what he told him & like Homura they end up having a momentTM in space & Shuichi remembers. He feels a lot of guilt even tho he also questions whether anything was real, but if it was, he pushed somebody he far too realized he loved into erasing himself from existence.
#hope it's not too long but i'll make it a read more if somebody thinks it is#i spammed discord i spammed bsky it's only fair i post it on tumblr too#kokichi ouma#shuichi saihara#saiouma#danganronpa#like obviously normally you'd go for something like Kokichi as Homura and Shuichi as Madoka and I'm just not that sure of it myself#like the vibes match at the first glance but the more I think about it the less it actually works for the characters in question#one of Kokichi's most defining chracteristics is that he cares a lot about everybody and frankly more than probably any other V3 character#but in a very... general sense if you get me. characters like Kaito and even Shuichi pick some people they like to care for and everybody#else is like whatever - sucked but now it's done like after Korekiyo's execution he says nothing abt him while both Makoto & Hajime offer#Celeste and Mikan some more thoughts and compassion; anyway obviously Kokichi doesn't care about say Kaede more than Shuichi but he still#gives all their lives the same amount of respect just for the sake of it; that's what makes chapter 4 so horrifying from his perspective#and also why in chapter 5 he isn't willing to do the same anymore and instead chooses to die himself so Maki of all people can survive and#so Kaito can go in a blaze of glory. and these two are arguably the two characters who treated him the worst (not that anybody treated him#well save for maybe Gonta and Kiibou). so i can't imagine Kokichi in Homura's role - reaching the point where he cares about only one perso#surviving while everybody else can die in a ditch bc the one time he picked his life over anybody else's he had a wholeass breakdown & then#killed himself several days later even though logically it would've made more sense to either kill Kaito who's dying anyway or throw Maki#under the bus since she was the one to fuck things up in the first place and proved herself to be a danger to the group.#Shuichi meanwhile he absolutely could given his lack of regard for some of the dead (Rantaro Ryouma idk abt Angie but I remember little#Korekiyo Miu and finally Kokichi himself) so he could snap at some point#anyway time to shut up it's getting long in these tags
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if i had a nickel for every time people attempted to cancel or deplatform will wood over stuff blown out of proportion just before a big ww event i would have two nickels, which isn't a lot but it's weird that it's happened twice
#(context: first time - june/august 2022; he was accused of grooming a minor when it was actually an of-age sex worker who wouldn't respect#his boundaries. this was just before the release of in case i make it)#(second time - september 2024; he was accused of forcing a minor to date his friend john maisto [probably spelled that wrong but oh well]#and apparently threatened to assault her if she wouldn't. what he actually said was something along the lines of ''i'll fuck you if you're#not dating my friend'' which dont get me wrong - that's still a huge scumbag thing to say but its not a threat#this has been brought up just before the slouching towards bethlehem tour#keep in mind: will has stopped associating with jon ages ago after finding out he groomed someone#plus all of this was said to have happened twelve years ago - which as most of us know was when will was on every drug under the sun and#yknow#can't remember a single fucking thing that happened that year#you can come to your own conclusions about this but just remember will has held himself accountable for everything he's done in that period#and that will 12 years ago is a completely different person to will today)#will wood#will wood allegations#<- hate having to use this tag tbh
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medic tf2 doodles?!?!?? in this economy!???!?!? (art from yesterday)
most gentle and sweet middle aged german man in the whole entire world smile vs planning to swap all of your organs with a series of interconnected frogs smile
a doodle i did of Medic and Archimedes.... he looks too round in this drawing, not smug and evil enough..... also Mitzi from the RAE appearance :D
i LOVE the voicelines Medic has with Haunted Archimedes, he's not disturbed or even slightly put off by the fact that his zombified dove is 1. talking and 2. has a violent and constant craving for brains. he's just like. being a slightly irritated pet owner about it. he's just like "ugh yes archimedes vants all zhe brains doesn't he. now shut up". also i think this is the most on-model medic drawing i've ever done wtf
#tf2#team fortress 2#tf2 medic#medic tf2#archimedes tf2#mitzi mozzarella#doodles#sketches#sketch#also um. please no thirst comments in the tags. /srs#i feel incredibly uncomfortable with comments like that and i don't want those things being said about my art#and i feel like it might happen here so like. please don't do that thanks 👍#man i love drawing medic. he's actually so fun to draw and i love giving him the most insane expressions ever#he has so many sharp angles it's so fun!!!#i also really like the second opinion voice lines. he's not even frightened. he just has an annoying roommate sewn to his face#aahh this is why i love medic#i have a cold right now so i can't think of any other tags to put on this post........#might post some more barry stuff later. i drew a pretty cursed one yesterday heehoo#i want to post some of my really old tf2 art from like 2018#and maybe some SUPER old tf2 stuff from a decade ago if i can find the notebook i drew it in#back when i used to draw everything with a pen and no guidelines 💀#i'm pretty sure i still have it! it's not something i would throw away at all#it's probably hidden deep in my closet with my other old art stuff#i'd like to share my super old unhinged comics with a bunch of characters from various properties some day#i remember making a comic where all my favourite tf2 and mlp characters teamed up to stop peg from peg + cat from taking over the world#because i really didn't like the show as a kid. i thought peg's voice was annoying and it was a show about math. and i hate math#it's not even a bad show... it's really cute actually..... why did i hate it so much#i was peg + cat's biggest hater. if p+c had a million haters i was one of them. if it had 1 hater that was me. if it had 0 then i grew up#anyway. ignore all those tags i went on a ramble loolll#i forgot this post is about my medic drawings... yeah i really like these drawings and i love drawing medic <3
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i was reading a scoops era steddie au where eddie visits scoops often and one thing i noticed i alway want but have yet to see (bear in mind my fic pallette is basically just shit i see on Tumblr and occasionally reading every fic a certain author has written) is a specific scene of eddie noticing stobins missing when he goes to visit them at scoops the day theyre stuck in the bunker. cause they entered the bunker after a shift one night and didn't get out until at the soonest the next afternoon right before the mall closes so if either or both of them were scheduled to work then they'd be just... gone.
and how characters around them handle that depends on how soon (if at all) they're declared missing. did robin think they'd be in-and-out in their snooping and tell her parents shes be back a little late or did she think they'd be out kinda late fucking around and just lied to her parents telling them shes sleeping over at a friend's like how we know tina was going to cover for erica? did mrs Henderson freak out when Dustin didn't bike back home (knowing what happened with will) or did she know he was with steve and trusted that they were goofing off or something?
and usually i see Steve's parents not being home but what if they were?? they could panic because steve always has some sort of excuse for why hes gone or maybe just his mom starts worrying because while his dad never really asks about him she does and she knows hes probably not at some girls house right now because he at least would have told her. or maybe mrs harrington doesn't know her son as well as she thinks she does and assumes he is out at some girls house and is relieved hes finally getting to be more like himself.
maybe just one or two people in scoops troop are reported missing that night and maybe the search started for them is enough for the other's parents or friends to realize they're all missing. maybe none of them are because they each already had a coverup with the people who'd notice. maybe they spent a good few hours in that elevator regretting lying about where they'd be because now no one knows they're in danger and by the time they start looking it could be too late (obviously erica didn't seem to grasp this yet but shes literally 10 and it's definitely her fist severely traumatic life or death experience. for the others tho it could definitely be on their minds and i have seen a few fics where robin wonders about how steve and Dustin are reacting like they've done scary shit like this before together)
then morning comes and id give it until lunch with no calls or anything before parents who believed their kids were sleeping over to start worrying seriously. maybe they call the friend their child's supposedly with and get a confused parent saying they haven't seen them or maybe they get the friend picking up and confirming they're fine (like tina). but if Mrs Henderson gets worried and calls steve she'll either get the harringtons saying he isn't home right now or she won't be able to reach him. and knowing steves like a big brother and a best friend to dustin knows that if steve missing too he's probably at least missing with him and goes to the station worried about them both
and then theres the fact that scoops has to open in the morning, probably sometime around 10am. maybe steve and robin were scheduled to both work again and as 10am comes and passes scoops ahoy hasn't been touched. maybe some mall manager calls the scoops manager (forgive me ive never worked in a mall but i do work in a store-within-a-store and we have our own manager plus the big store manager) and asks where their employees are. if missing persons reports were filed that last night then the manager would be really worried while frantically trying to find someone to cover for them. but maybe no one knows they're missing yet and their manager is grumbling about their no-shows, maybe considering firing them for both disappearing without even calling out. depending on how much they know and if the reports were filed, whoever has to cover their shifts is either worried about their coworkers (probably moreso robin than steve because of his reputation) or utterly pissed that they both didn't show and they have to open scoops ahoy with a few hours delay and probably a good few karens bitching about being closed. or maybe one or the other was scheduled and while their no-show is really inconvenient at least someone's there to open and ask for backup
and then theres steves car still parked in the back where it was the day before. a bike left behind at the mall is less eyebrow-raising but a fancy car? Steve Harrington's car? Steve Harrington who was scheduled to work today but somehow isn't in scoops right now? is he skipping work while simultaneously wandering around his workplace? and whats worse is despite evidence being there *no one can find him*. maybe thats what it takes for people to realize hes like actually missing. maybe they think he was kidnapped, hopefully he just went home with some girl and lost track of time.
and then theres eddie. eddie whos been stopping by scoops for a while now. maybe he still doesn't really like Harrington but likes teasing him with Buckley or maybe they've gotten pretty close. maybe they're already dating. maybe eddie walks up to scoops one morning to find it closed or to find that one or the other didn't show up for work this morning. maybe he hears from the worker that ones missing or maybe they get a rant about how pissed the worker is to be opening alone. maybe he's the one to go to a mall manager or security officer worried about scoops being closed because he *knows* the people that are supposed to be there right now and they don't just abandon work at the same time with no explanations.
or maybe eddie visits in the afternoons and learns they're missing from their coworkers or maybe hes there because he saw it on the news and went on his our hunt. either way it'd probably end with Eddie looking around the mall for them because he knows steve isn't going to just abandon his beemer in a busy public parking lot. maybe he finds them high out of their minds while checking the movie theatre (this one i do see a lot and am obsessed with its so good) or maybe he doesn't find them at all (its a big mall and they are actively hiding from Russians who know they escaped. sure stobin are not being very secretive while high but dustin and erica are at least keeping them in less-discoverable locations). maybe he goes home knowing hes looked everywhere in that damn mall and assumes they're probably kidnapped and taken somewhere else (if he did find them tho that opens a whole can of worms for if, how, and how much eddie gets involved and while my brains gone down sone of those rabbit holes i don't think i will today)
and then they see the news about the mall fire. and eddie knows damn well that he looked everywhere in that mall but didn't see a trace of his friends but there they are on the news and apparently in the fire. maybe eddie assumes he didn't look hard enough. but maybe he sees how steves the only one with more than a few bruises on his legs, how despite them claiming he was trapped in rumble that also allegedly killed billy hargrove he looks like hes carrying himself on adrenaline alone and hovering around robin and the kids like something more than falling support beams could get to them. maybe its the fact that he look as shit as he did but wasn't laying down on a hospital stretcher like he would be if he just got those wounds.
_._._._
hi if you saw any typos no you didn't UNLESS theyre funny or actually concerning then you should tell me and i can react appropriately
also i swear i feel like doctor strange looking through every possible reality when i go on tangents like this. idk whenever i come up with little fics in my head or come up with different ways my favorite unfinished fics could end im always exploring as many different versions of the same scenario as i can and coming up with as many what-ifs as i can.
also i pressed the poll button by accident while making this and idk how to make it go away to we're trying just ignoring it and not writing anything in it to see if it goes away
actually fuck that it probably wont work so im adding a poll question as a treat for the people who read this far
#writing this was an experience except i don't remember any of it and i didn't even reread it to check spelling#i love thinking like this tho and coming up with all these different things that could happen with this one scenario#and following canon and trying to fill in the gaps gives just enough room to fuck around but still keeps me in the right direction#with just a couple deviations that are too good to ignore like eddie finding stobin while theyre high and getting water#im also writing my own little steve henderson au universe in my head loosely inspired by those steve henderson posts by that one person#i can't remember their user rn but if i ever actually share ill tag them as inspiration inlike the first post#but mostly its me taking steve right after s2 events and letting him get help from the hendersons because dustins his new best friend now#(regardless of if he agreed to it or not)#so uh yea if anyone wants to hear about it you should totally let me know because i will do a lot for external validation#im just an 8 year old girl playing barbies but morbid things are happening#stranger things#steve harrington#steddie#eddie munson#platonic stobin#steve x eddie#robin buckley#dustin henderson#erica sinclair#steve and dustin#steve and robin#platonic soulmates stobin#scoops ahoy#stranger things season 3#stranger things s3#stranger things rambles#claudia henderson#steve has bad parents#mrs harrington#stranger things thoughts
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A very late halloween post, but happy halloween everyone!
Pikmin crew...
Ocs by @suga-catt, @twobellsilence, @vivilovespink, @subzerossnowflake, @tetsukuzu1230, and @shadonut !
#others oc!#my ocs#happy halloween everyone#luke i know jan isn't a mortal kombat oc but i wanted to include him because he deserves to have fun methinks#when i saw tsuki i went she has to be the blue pikmin....#was actually debating if ling should be white pikmin or ghost pikmin but i think he's too tall to be white pikmin plus his tail gotta be in#there somehow#forgot about ice pikmin until i went lie....whose another blue guy#the way menace actually was the onnly one i could think of for red pikmin vivi you cooked#akio...sorry wuhe is bothering u she's just being a silly little gal its ok she won't hurt u i think#getting back into trying to at least put pen on tablet somehow even if i dont think i could do anything fully rendered but!#thats in my name. sketch is in my name so its ok#anyways i'm moving towards transformers but I still remember yall from before i disappeared for so long :>#Chat idk why shadonut can't be tagged but oops#my art
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the spectacular spider-jon
#i was actually thinking about giving him goggles#bc y'know superman doesn't hide his face#but then i had too much fun with the spidey-mask#i did keep his hair free bc i figure you can't hide clark's iconic curl#and jon would still be superman/super-spider/whatever number ii right#anyway#dc#fanart#bobbinart#superman#superboy#jon kent#remember when only the first five tags showed up in the tags
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i was tagged by @sevencoloredstar, @squishy-woozi and @wonufied to do this tag game! this was so fun thank you hehe also interesting to see everyone else's choices
i'm not sure who's done this already but tagging: @kimsmingyu @bandzboy @s-lay-ing, @zyx, @ppanghanni and @irlvernon
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#( a lot of thoughts in the tags )#i never know what era to put in 'era you started stanning in'#bc it was in the middle of dwc and clap era but i guess you're still in the earlier era until the new one starts right#so yeah dwc#that photo of seok is from their weekly idol ep and that's the first time i remember seeing him and being like#*eyes emoji* okay who's this#ofc kidult best song song of the century#to you would be there too but kidult wins out on how much the lyrics mean to me#fave album is probably between going seventeen (og best album) an ode attacca and face the sun#but face the sun won bc shadow?? domino?? DON QUIXOTE????? 'BOUT YOU?????? IF YOU LEAVE ME???!?!?!?!?#i hate hot tho so <3#darling makes it better#yes dino my beloved#jeonghan would be there but i think he's more of 'the member i would actually like to be friends with'#i just respect him and his personality a whole lot lol#seokhan my most precious <3 i will never forget the seokhan 2017 or was it 2018 content we got#decalmomie still not dethroned since 2016 or whenever#everyone listen to it if you haven't#fave gose ep you really can't go past gose 2020#like that was crazzzzzzy#95% of those ep are legendary you can't make me choose#if i had to tho i'd probably choose the bungee jump#bc it's funny as heck and shows how seventeen knows the little quirks and whatever of each member#but also ofc the wholesome ending showcasing their bond and how supportive they are#also means lots to me as a proud dk stan <3#so yeah this was heaps fun!!
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Semi-related to the stuff I post here but anyone else aware of the RIIZE situation? The fact they put him on hiatus just because of a ''dating scandal'' only to finally announce he's coming back TWO DAYS ago and now he's been officially kicked out 'cause Korean fans (mostly girls who are insane and don't view idols as humans) threw a huge fit about it.
As an outsider of the group/fandom I can't speak too much about them but as a k-pop industry anti there's a lot to say about that. It's just so insane to me that in the year 2024, going on 2025, the built-in conception that idols belong to fans, love fans, are dedicated to their fans, and cannot have ACTUAL real love lives without it ruining their entire career is PSYCHOTIC. I cannot stress enough how ABNORMAL and WEIRD that is. I literally do not care to say that at all like if you (general) think it's okay to harass and bully any celebrity, but in this specific case k-pop idols, for doing the most human of things like going out with someone you're a freak, a loser, and you don't deserve to be a fan of anyone.
This idea that fans genuinely believe they have power to control another person's life, because they've been sold that idea by a corporation that makes money off of it, is so fucked up. But what's even worse in this situation is that the company completely threw him under the fucking bus once he lost value in their eyes. They don't care about talent, they don't care about the years of training he put in, they don't care about the relationships and bonds formed between the members that they are now tearing apart, all they wanted to use him for was to sell an image of him to fans, and now that the image has been ''ruined'' to a subset of that fandom, he's worthless to them, so they threw him away.
It's some nasty business. I have so little respect for fans who treat other people like toys, the complete and utter dehumanization of these people just doing a job, and it affects all of them. Like this is not the first and sadly won't be the last a situation like this happens until something about the industry and fan behavior changes.
#Sab talks#remember when Korean TXT fans tried to cancel Taehyun for going to a club?#I fucking do#they were so fucking weird about it#like god forbid a 21 year old guy go and do something most young adults have done#like I'm not even a club person but even I've gone at least once 'cause my friend wanted to for her birthday#it's about the experience and doing something new#hell maybe he actually likes clubbing and now because his fanbase is insane he can't do it#and like that's so sad to me!!!!!!!!!#he should be allowed to do something so normal!!!!!!#but no he literally can't#and I know for a fact that it did legitimate damage to his popularity#Chinese fans still to this day hate Taehyun because if it#it's so fucked up#but at least HYBE/BigHit didn't throw him away like trash because of it#nor did they with the recent shit with Yoongi#I think in this way I might have to actually compliment them and say good for you not abandoning your idols for being human#anyway this got me heated#I just find all this to be insanely gross#text heavy#long post#rant tag
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[ 𝚙𝚛𝚎-𝚝𝟸 𝚟𝚘𝚒𝚌𝚎 𝚍𝚛𝚊𝚖𝚊 #𝟶𝟸 ] 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚐𝚒𝚗𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚎𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚛𝚒𝚊𝚕
IT'S OFFICIAL THE SECOND TRIAL IS HERE BABYYYYY oh god now they're going to suffer even more
(Warnings: mentions of attempted suicide, physical violence (prisoners get injured and beaten up and also Eiji and Kei's relationship gets mentioned), toxic relationship dynamics and heavy implications of self-harm)
Miki: Eiji-san?..
Miki: Eiji-san, can you hear me?
Eiji: .. Ah, sorry.
Eiji: I just.. I was too deep in thought, I guess.
Miki: I-it's okay! I just didn't expect you to be the one getting distracted this time, haha..
Eiji: What was that?
Miki: N-nothing!
Miki: B-but seriously, a-are you okay? You've been acting a bit weird lately..
Miki: Did something happen? Y-you can tell me!
Eiji: I'm fine. Don't worry about me.
Miki: .. If you say so.
Miki: So.. You know why we're here, right?
Eiji: .. Yeah. Because of the second trial.
Miki: *nods* I.. I thought it would be a good idea to talk about everything that happened after the first trial.
Miki: Would you be okay with that? I-if you're too tired, I completely understand-
Eiji: No, you're right. We do have to talk about it.
Eiji: There's.. a lot of things we have to discuss.
Miki: Ah, do you want me to do most of the talking? I can do that-
Eiji: NO!
Miki: *screams*
Eiji: .. Sorry.
Eiji: I will do it. You can just sit here.
Miki: U-um..
Miki: O-okay then..
*sounds of Eiji getting up*
*sounds of Eiji's footsteps*
Eiji: So.. Many of the prisoners feel like completely different people now.
Eiji: Some of them are acting like the complete opposite of their past selves and some of them are acting like.. if you took their personality traits, even the good ones, and made them much worse.
Eiji: It doesn't even matter if they were voted guilty or innocent. All of them are equally bad.
Miki: Eiji-san..
Miki: Are you saying our judgement was incorrect?
Eiji: .. I don't know.
Eiji: Maybe.
Eiji: No, it would definitely be better if we just voted all of them guilty-
Miki: So that they could suffer even more?
Miki: Eiji-san, I respect you a lot..
Miki: But I think a lot of prisoners finally got the confidence they needed this way. They feel so much safer now too!
Miki: Who knows what they would do if all of them were voted guilty..
Eiji: I'm not just talking about their personalities, but their relationships too.
Eiji: Those who were friends are basically enemies now or their relationships are just much more toxic now.
Eiji: You know who I'm talking about, don't you?
Eiji: I mean, our relationships with the prisoners are different too now.
Eiji: .. Let's begin.
Eiji: Prisoner 001, Miyagawa Akio.
Eiji: He got the well-deserved guilty verdict last time and his ideas and thoughts were rejected. Serves him right, honestly..
Eiji: I wish I could say that without feeling worried, but.. I can't do that because of what happened.
Miki: .. So you are worried about him.
Eiji: Because he was voted guilty, I knew that I will have to punish him for his sins. At first I just wanted to beat him up, but..
Eiji: I-I guess I underestimated how passionate I am about that kind of stuff.
Miki: He got a head injury because of you, Eiji-san.
Miki: A really.. bad one.
Eiji: Guard 002, with all respect I have for you, you think it was bad just because there was a lot of blood-
Miki: ISN'T THAT ENOUGH FOR ME TO SAY HE WAS SERIOUSLY INJURED?
Miki: Miyagawa-san.. He got traumatized both physically and mentally after that.
Miki: If it wasn't for me.. If I didn't manage to stop you before it was too late..
Miki: I think you would have ended up killing him, Eiji-san.
Eiji: ...
Eiji: S-so what? He deserves to die anyway.
Miki: He's only 16 years old-
Eiji: Anyway, about his personality. Akio definitely feels like a different person now, but he still has many personality traits he had before all of this.
Eiji: As I said, his ideas were rejected. Which means we have basically told him..
Eiji:"You're not a king nor a god that you think you are".
Eiji: And considering that because of his head injury, it's much more difficult for him to do most things, now he feels like he actually isn't as smart and talented as he thought.
Eiji: It's hard for him to walk without feeling dizzy and feeling like his head is spinning, so he often needs help when he has to go somewhere.
Eiji: He's also a bit more quiet now, though he's still very loud whenever we try to talk to him.
Miki: And for a good reason. You're the reason why he's like this now.
Eiji: Stop blaming me. I wasn't the only person who decided to vote him guilty.
Eiji: If it really was the wrong decision, then it's our fault, not just mine.
Eiji: He's more quiet now mostly because it's harder for him to talk now. I also almost never see him reading or studying anymore.
Eiji: .. I-I guess it really was a fitting punishment for a "genius" like him-
Miki: How can you say that?!
Miki: What if that injury really is serious? You know I can't take proper care of him, right?
Miki: What if his life will get worse because of it? What if..
Miki: .. What if he will die if he doesn't get any help?
Eiji: All of them are going to be executed by me anyway, so-
Miki: HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT AFTER WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM??
Eiji: ...
Miki: .. You wanted to talk about everyone's relationships too, right?
Miki: Do it. Tell me more about them.
Eiji: .. Well, Akio never really had any friends in this place, though he could often be seen with Aimi and Riku. I assume it's because of them being high school students, so they got along well, since they all are almost the same age.
Eiji: But if Akio's verdict was "Guilty", Aimi and Riku, on the other hand, were forgiven.
Eiji: And that has changed their relationship dynamic a lot.
Eiji: You see, after being voted guilty, Akio started becoming more and more.. unstable. He claims that he hears someone's voice sometimes and he can even see that person. There was a time when Naomi told me that Akio couldn't sleep because he felt like he was being choked by that person.
Eiji: Some prisoners also say that they can often hear Akio mumbling to himself and Aimi thinks that he's actually saying someone's name repeatedly.
Miki: .. I-I think I know what's going on here.
Miki: I'm not sure about that voice he hears and that person who has tried to choke him, but.. What if he's actually saying the name of his accomplice?
Miki: That would also explain.. well, that incident.
Eiji: .. I'll ask Aimi to pay more attention to what he says. That information could be useful for us.
Eiji: Anyway, because Akio's hallucinations have started getting worse and worse, he couldn't take it anymore and ended up having a breakdown in front of all the other prisoners.
Eiji: And he tried to ask Riku for help and grabbed his hand and I don't know what exactly he said, since we arrived when it was too late, but Riku did not like it.
Eiji: I'll talk more about it later, but.. After that, Akio slowly walked back to his cell, even though it was still hard because of his condition and..
Eiji: *sighs*
Eiji: I'm assuming he tried to make his injury even worse by beating his head against the wall.
Miki: .. You know that he had a reason to do that. And it wasn't just about "trying to make it worse".
Eiji: Fine, what else do you want me to say? This guy is not doing well. That's it.
Eiji: Now, let's talk about the person who stopped him from doing that to himself when we weren't there. And also, the only person he can trust right now.
Eiji: Prisoner 002, Hanasaki Aimi.
Eiji: Ah, the poor girl who was bullied by her entire class.
Eiji: She was voted innocent and her ideas and thoughts were affirmed.
Eiji: .. I still don't trust her.
Eiji: As I said, her ideas were affirmed, so I assumed that she will try even harder to make friends after this and she won't be so shy anymore..
Eiji: .. But she is actually much more quiet now.
Eiji: She still acts nice and she's still very polite, but now she doesn't really try to become friends with anyone in this prison.. except one person.
Eiji: And that person is Akio.
Eiji: She was the one who stopped him from basically killing himself and she's also the one who takes care of him, holds his hand when he's having trouble walking and I think I also heard her read a book out loud for him once.
Miki: Isn't she so nice? I still don't understand how such a kind person like her can be a murderer-
Eiji: I wouldn't trust her so easily if I were you. Sure, she's nice to Akio now, but she stopped talking to Riku after she found out what he said to Akio.
Eiji: Just so you understand, she completely ignores Riku now. She doesn't even look at him.
Eiji: She's acting like this with some other prisoners too now: she tries to avoid Yurika and she has also called Asahi out once for his behavior.
Miki: But I think that's understandable?..
Eiji: What I'm trying to say is.. It's kind of interesting, don't you think? Aimi already knew that all prisoners are murderers and she already knew that they are not good people and they obviously have flaws, but when it was the first trial, she still insisted that she likes them all and wants to be friends with them.
Eiji: But now, she doesn't try to become friends with any of them except Akio, who also can't really do anything without her help anymore.
Eiji: .. I feel like I'm starting to see a connection here.
Eiji: Anyway.
Eiji: Prisoner 003, Ishizu Shun.
Eiji: Sadly, he was voted innocent, so his ideas and thoughts were affirmed.
Eiji: Come on, I know you regret voting him innocent.
Miki: .. W-what else was I supposed to do?..
Miki: If we voted him guilty, who knows what he would do and how he would act!
Eiji: So you admit it? You admit that this guy is unpredictable?
Eiji: So you admit that this guy is dangerous?
Miki: .. Ishizu-san is just..
Miki: .. He's just very hard to understand..
Eiji: He sure is more confident now thanks to his thoughts being affirmed. It's not a good kind of confidence, it's a very annoying kind.
Eiji: Also, is it just me or he doesn't care about his ex anymore?
Eiji: I mean, he openly flirts with both Kei and Eiko now, even though when Eiko herself said that she's interested in him, he rejected her since he's "taken".
Eiji: He also rarely mentions being in love with his ex and now he doesn't even say stuff like "I did this for her! I just wanted her back! I just loved her so much I had to kill her new boyfriend for her sake!"
Miki: Maybe he just.. forgot about it?
Eiji: I doubt it. Though I can't say that him being in love with her was an act, this guy's video showed that he really did care about her in his own twisted way.
Eiji: Although..
Eiji: We haven't actually seen her face. We've only seen her new boyfriend's face and that's it.
Eiji: Maybe we should make him talk more about that guy this time.
Eiji: And also.. now that he's more confident, he refuses to take no for an answer.
Eiji: .. Especially when it comes to Kei.
Miki: ...
Miki: Eiji-san..
Miki: Are you worried about-
Eiji: I'm not.
Eiji: I just find it disgusting how he started to take more and more advantage of Kei now that the guy can barely move. I don't remember him being so "dominant" before Kei got punished.
Miki: .. So you are worried-
Eiji: I'M NOT!
Eiji: A-anyway, Shun and Eiko are much closer now since both of them were forgiven unlike Kei.
Eiji: .. And they sure like to remind Kei about them being "superior" to him all the time.
Eiji: .. I don't want to talk about him anymore.
Eiji: Prisoner 004, Chiba Naomi.
Eiji: She was forgiven and her ideas and thoughts were affirmed.
Eiji: I guess she's mostly fine, but still.. I feel like something is wrong here.
Miki: Why? Chiba-san is so nice and understanding and she always helps me out when I need advice..
Eiji: Just like Shun, she's much more confident now. And why would she start acting like that if she's truly sorry for her sins?
Eiji: She wanted us to vote her guilty, remember? I thought that she would ask us to rethink our decision, but no, she just accepted it and moved on.
Miki: W-well, maybe she just.. you know, started to see her crime differently? Like, maybe she doesn't think it was that bad anymore?
Eiji: If she's not lying, her victim really was a child. Do you think it's okay to just go "Oh, maybe me killing that kid actually wasn't a big deal"?
Miki: But what if she had her reasons-
Eiji: I don't care about her reasons. She's a child murderer and her victim most likely was one of her students. And now she thinks that her crime wasn't even that bad and doesn't try to make us change our mind.
Eiji: She says that she simply doesn't try to do it because "we're the guards, so we know what we're doing", but I know she's secretly happy that she got voted innocent.
Miki: .. Again, you're saying my decision was wrong?
Eiji: .. Um-
Eiji: I'm just saying that now we can see that Prisoner 004 actually wouldn't try to become a better person and she actually doesn't think that her crime was that serious. Voting her innocent helped us realize it, so..
Eiji: Maybe you were right in some way.
Eiji: Ah, and even though she's still acting like everyone's.. uh, mom, basically, her ideas were affirmed, so now she's more strict with the younger prisoners.
Eiji: If she sees someone misbehaving, she will tell them to stop it and if they don't, she might actually get angry at them.
Eiji: Though she's mostly nice to all prisoners who are still kids.. except one of them.
Miki: ...
Eiji: .. Yeah, I'm talking about Asahi.
Eiji: And even though I would gladly vote Naomi guilty this time, I support the way she treats Asahi.
Eiji: Yes, I know that he's most likely your brother, but you have to admit-
Miki: I-I will talk to him about it, okay? I will.
Miki: I'll prove his innocence to you, Eiji-san. I'll prove that he really deserves to be forgiven.
Eiji: The next prisoner is-
Eiji: .. Prisoner 005, Sanada Kei.
Eiji: He was voted guilty and his ideas and thoughts were rejected.
Miki: .. I still have no idea how you just.. can be so cruel to him without feeling anything.
Miki: He's your brother! If I had to vote Yano-san guilty-
Eiji: Are you telling me someone like him deserves forgiveness?..
Eiji: Guard 002, he's the one who turned my life into a living hell.
Eiji: He.. He always was weird. And I had to protect him from other kids and people in general because of that.
Eiji: .. I remember him thanking me for that once.
Eiji: But then something happened and.. He started beating me for no reason every single day after that.
Eiji: He actually almost killed me once, no, twice! Maybe even more times!
Eiji: He's literally the reason why my whole body hurts all the time, why don't you get it, Miki?! Who cares about him when my body will never truly heal and it's all his fault!
Miki: .. *sobs*
Miki: I'm sorry.. I really.. I didn't mean to..
Miki: It's just.. I'm used to trying to see the good in all people and..
Miki: I thought that maybe Kei-san still deserves forgiveness..
Eiji: *sighs* Listen, I can't deny that I kind of admire that trait of yours.
Eiji: But Kei doesn't deserve any of your forgiveness and kindness. Trust me.
Eiji: .. He refused to believe that all of this was real and that he really is going to be punished until I actually came and.. well, gave him what he deserves.
Miki: I still remember his cries and how loud he screamed from all that pain.
Miki: But that's.. weird. I thought Kei-san was a much more..
Eiji: Same. Remember him saying that he's not afraid of pain and that he can handle it all or something like that?
Eiji: .. It turned out to be another lie of his.
Eiji: He's so used to being the one who hurts people that he has no idea what to do when someone hurts him.
Eiji: "More pain means more love"? Sure, whatever you say, Kei. You agree with what our mother used to say only when you're the one who's inflicting all that pain.
Eiji: .. Something is bothering- um, I just find something very confusing though.
Miki: Really? What?
Eiji: For some reason, I noticed that Kei already had a lot of scars on his body even before his punishment.
Miki: Wait, what?? W-were they bad? Why didn't you tell me?
Eiji: If I did, you would never let me punish him.
Eiji: Even I got scared, but only a little bit.
Miki: .. Don't you feel at least a little worried for your brother?
Eiji: W-why should I care? Maybe someone just got "a bit too rough" with him or something, I don't want to think about it. It's none of my business.
Eiji: Anyway, Kei still hangs out with Shun and Eiko very often, but now it's not because he wants to. He can't even leave his cell without anyone's help because of how much pain he's in, haha..
Eiji: Ahem, so Shun and Eiko are the ones who drag him out of it and they just make him follow them around. Actually, I feel like now they spend even more time together compared to the first trial.
Eiji: But don't you even think that this guy is just a poor victim and we absolutely have to forgive him this time-
Miki: Should I remind you that he almost got beaten up because of Maruyama-san?
Eiji: I have no idea who I should believe, but she told us that he was acting creepy again and she wanted to defend herself.
Eiji: I don't trust her most of the time, but since it's Kei.. I can see him saying something and Yurika getting mad at him for that.
Eiji: If that was the case, I can't blame her.
Eiji: .. I still can't believe that he actually got saved by someone though.
Eiji: Prisoner 006, Yoshioka Eiko.
Eiji: She was voted innocent and her ideas and thoughts were affirmed.
Eiji: Well, she did thank us for forgiving her, but I'm sure she didn't actually care about her verdict. She's just not that kind of person.
Miki: She is.. very affectionate with you now because of you agreeing to vote her innocent.
Eiji: Yes, and I hate it.
Miki: "Do you though?.."
Eiji: However, I feel like she actually did change as a person.
Eiji: She openly admits that she likes Kei and Shun only because of their appearance, but still keeps them close because she likes the attention she gets from them.
Eiji: So it's like.. She said that she knows Kei will never "truly" love her and she also said that it would be easy to forgive her because of her looks, but now she agrees that she and Kei aren't actually that different.
Eiji: Also, even though she was one of those prisoners who refused to accept that all of this is a real thing, she has recently started asking me more questions about Milgram.
Eiji: Like, how it works, who created this place, why we were chosen as the guards, all of that..
Eiji: I have no idea why she's so curious about it now.
Miki: Maybe after the first trial was over, she started to realize that this isn't just a game and our verdicts really do have consequences?..
Eiji: Or maybe she just wants to spend more time with me.
Eiji: I don't get it though. I'm not that, uh.. "attractive" and I never give her any attention, so.. why me? Is it just her trying to make me forgive her again?
Eiji: .. No, she's not like most prisoners here.
Miki: But I think you're very pretty, Eiji-san!
Eiji: Um, thank you?..
Miki: Still not my type though.
Eiji: I wasn't even trying to.. never mind.
Eiji: Prisoner 007, Yano Asahi.
Eiji: He was voted innocent and his ideas and thoughts were affirmed.
Eiji: And, well, he reacted to it just like a spoiled kid his age would.
Eiji: He thought that it was going to happen anyway and now he's sure that no matter what he does, he will still be forgiven, because.. you know, he's a child.
Miki: But isn't he right-
Eiji: Well, that's not gonna happen.
Eiji: I never judge anyone only based on their age. No matter how young or how old they are, I will make sure they will get the verdict that they deserve.
Eiji: And because all of them are murderers, all of them deserve to be-
Miki: I know, you don't have to say that again.
Eiji: .. Huh?
Eiji: U-um, okay, let's talk about how he acts now.
Eiji: Prisoner 007 is much more confident now and I rarely see him cry or throw a tantrum, though he still likes to use his.. uh, "cuteness" to get what he wants.
Eiji: However, he's now surprisingly good at controlling his emotions. I have no idea what happened to him, but he's much more polite now and I almost never hear him swear anymore.
Eiji: Eh, he's probably just trying to manipulate us into voting him innocent again.
Miki: But what if he actually did change? What if he's trying to become a better person?
Eiji: I doubt it. He always has this.. weird smile on his face. Like I want to punch him whenever I see him smile like that.
Eiji: He keeps ordering other prisoners around too, again, he's just more polite about it now and it's harder to tell that he really is just using them.
Eiji: I should mention something about his personality and his relationship with other prisoners. Now that Akio is no longer as narcissistic as he used to be, Kei can't even leave his cell without anyone's help and.. we'll talk about Riku later, Asahi and Shun are basically the most "powerful" male prisoners now.
Eiji: However, Shun is still disliked by mostly everyone and they don't really like Asahi either, but it's hard to deny that this kid is much better at making everyone believe that he has "changed" and that he really is more nice now.
Eiji: It's like.. this kid has all the power now.
Eiji: "Andou siblings really rule this prison now, don't they?.."
Miki: W-well, I wouldn't say that.
Miki: True, he is much.. uh, "nicer" now and people are starting to like him a bit more, but he's still just as vulnerable.
Miki: Like.. For some reason I'm starting to feel like he wants more attention from me now? Like now he requests even more things, but he always asks me to get him something and not you.
Eiji: "I think it's because the prisoners don't like me that much in general."
Miki: But when you don't count all the food, toys, clothes and other things, he just.. wants to spend time with me. Like he actually wants to know more about me and he keeps asking me so many questions..
Miki: .. It's still hard for me to get used to him calling me "Miki-nee" though.
Miki: He doesn't even know that we're most likely related..
Miki: And speaking of him still being one of the most vulnerable prisoners, Kei-san wasn't the only prisoner Maruyama-san has attacked.
Miki: Yano-san was her victim as well.
Eiji: Again, it's kind of justified. Naomi said that she saw everything with her own eyes and I usually don't trust her, but I will do so this time.
Eiji: Basically, Asahi's been taking full advantage of Yurika's status as a guilty prisoner and her punishment and he eventually got tired of his "good boy" act and he spilled some really hot tea that she made for him on her. He claimed that it was an accident but both Naomi and Yurika could tell that it wasn't one.
Eiji: Yurika had enough and, well.. decided to take her anger out on him.
Eiji: I stopped her before she could actually injure him though. He only got a cut on his cheek from her nails and that's all.
Miki: Thank you, I appreciate it.
Eiji: .. I-It's not because he's your brother. I would do the same thing even if it wasn't Asahi. I can't let those prisoners fight each other like that.
Eiji: *laughs* Though of course they would try to do that. They are murderers after all.
Eiji: Speaking of Yurika..
Eiji: Prisoner 008, Maruyama Yurika.
Eiji: She was voted guilty and her ideas and thoughts were rejected.
Miki: I'm still finding it so hard to believe.. I mean, I thought she seemed like a nice person when I first met her..
Eiji: Is it just me or you voted her guilty only because of what she said about you that time?
Miki: .. I really do want to save everyone here.
Miki: And I will do anything to achieve my goal.
Miki: *gets up* Who does she think she is to go and say that I'm just doing this to make everyone trust me?!
Eiji: Okay, okay, calm down.
Eiji: Fine, let's not talk about it. You have your reasons to vote her guilty and I have mine.
Miki: .. Y-you're right. Sorry.. *sits down*
Eiji: Her punishment was a bit different from Akio and Kei's punishments. It wasn't a physical one, it was more about.. mental pain, I guess?
Eiji: Since her thoughts were rejected, she lost all the potential freedom she could get and now she's back to doing what she hates the most.
Eiji: She has to act as everyone's maid now.
Eiji: We don't have to bring anything to prisoners personally, we can just ask her or, you know, make her do that. She can also serve them food now.
Eiji: I know, that was very smart of me. Less work for us~
Eiji: .. I wish I could say that, but her temper is.. something.
Eiji: When I first told her about her punishment, she cried. Loudly. She cried like a little baby.
Eiji: And when I tried to make her stop, she almost punched me, but oh well, she obviously wasn't able to do that.
Eiji: And now, whenever she refuses to listen to my orders, I just remind her that I can make her punishment even worse and she listens to me.
Eiji: But now her relationship with the prisoners is much worse. People either see her only as their maid, they think she's scary or they even find her annoying.
Eiji: She's used to be close with all the female prisoners, but now Aimi is one of the prisoners who thinks she's too dangerous, Eiko just makes her do everything for her and even though Naomi actually tried to be nice to her at first, Yurika wasn't as nice. Her relationship with Reina is.. complicated now.
Eiji: Prisoner 009, Kuroki Riku.
Eiji: He was voted innocent and his ideas and thoughts were affirmed.
Eiji: .. I still have no idea how you could have forgiven someone like him.
Eiji: He obviously just wanted to make us feel bad for him.
Miki: Even if he did, he still was in pain and he needed help. If we voted him guilty, I think he would start acting even worse.
Miki: Just imagine what he would do if he found out that he was going to be punished!..
Eiji: But guess what? Now that his thoughts were affirmed, Akio almost killed himself because of him, Aimi left him and pretty much all prisoners don't want to do anything with him anymore.
Eiji: Because I remind you, this guy actually wanted his childhood friend to die.
Eiji: Let's go back to his fight with Akio. Again, I still have no idea what Akio said to him, but I do know what Riku told him and what made Akio.. do what he did.
Eiji: After Akio said something that made Riku angry, Riku, just like a normal boy his age, said this:
Eiji: "Go and die then."
Miki: ...
Eiji: .. We shouldn't find Akio's suicide attempt surprising after this considering his mental state and how much he liked Riku.
Eiji: So? Are you going to defend him this time too?
Miki: .. I will talk to him about it. Of course, he can't just say things like that, but I want to understand why he did it.
Eiji: Well, I'm sure he will appreciate you still trying to defend his actions, because I remind you that this happened while all other prisoners were watching.
Eiji: And yeah, Aimi stopped seeing Riku as her friend after this.
Miki: "She's a victim of bullying, of course she would leave him.."
Eiji: And all other prisoners kinda stopped talking to him after that. Their conversations are just really awkward now, especially because Riku still refuses to apologize for what he said and claims that it's all Akio's fault.
Eiji: He has no one to talk to anymore. Akio and Aimi are doing great without him, Shun is having way too much fun with Kei and Eiko, Naomi and Reina have no idea how to help him, Kei simply can't do anything for him right now, Eiko and Yurika don't care about what happens to him and Asahi says that he's "bad" so he doesn't want to spend time with him, though I'm sure he's doing it just to make him suffer.
Eiji: .. It's kinda interesting, actually. They know that every single prisoner here is a murderer, but they were mostly fine with that fact until now, when one of them has almost killed the other prisoner with his words.
Eiji: And.. he went back to his unhealthy coping mechanisms because of all of this.
Eiji: He's okay with doing literally anything to make people look at him, including hurting himself in different ways.
Eiji: I literally can't even leave him alone with a fork and a knife anymore and I have to watch him while he eats.
Miki: .. Again, I will talk to him about it.
Miki: I want to save everyone in this prison. Especially Yan-
Miki: .. I mean, my brother and Riku.
Eiji: And finally, the last one.
Eiji: Prisoner 010, Himura Reina.
Eiji: She was voted innocent and her ideas and thoughts were affirmed.
Eiji: Honestly, I think she's one of those prisoners who have changed the most.
Eiji: She's like a completely different person now.
Eiji: She's no longer pretending to be someone she's not. She almost never mentions the whole "I'm actually the most dangerous murderer in this prison" thing anymore.
Eiji: She's also very.. calm now. To the point of showing almost no emotions.
Eiji: She doesn't make dumb jokes anymore, she doesn't say things like "Oh, I actually have more than 50 victims", she isn't that loud anymore.
Eiji: .. And she also was the one who protected Kei from being attacked by Yurika.
Eiji: If that doesn't prove that she has changed, I don't know what will.
Miki: .. What if she actually always was capable of that? What if she always could protect someone like that and we just didn't know?
Eiji: Well, I can't say anything about that.
Eiji: She and Kei are actually surprisingly close now. She's the only person here who isn't afraid of him and doesn't take advantage of his condition.
Eiji: I was shocked at first, but now that I think about it..
Eiji: It makes sense. Their personalities are actually very similar.
Miki: So that's why she's been asking me to take care of him so often lately..
Eiji: .. What surprises me the most is that Kei never flirts with her or tries to impress her. I guess it has an obvious explanation, but if we trust Yurika's words, he's still more than capable of being annoying in that way.
Miki: Well, maybe he just sees her as a friend? Isn't that nice?
Eiji: Don't say that. I can't imagine this guy having friends that actually like him.
Eiji: She isn't that close with Yurika anymore and when I asked her about it, she sounded like she was.. disappointed in her? I guess she wasn't prepared to see the real Yurika.
Eiji: .. That's all I have to say.
Eiji: *sighs*
Miki: So.. Do you still want to vote all of them guilty?
Eiji: Why are you even asking me that? Of course I do. Actually, I want to punish them even more now that I've seen what kind of people they become after being forgiven.
Miki: But isn't it natural to start acting more calm or confident after being forgiven?
Miki: Just like you said, their ideas and thoughts were affirmed. Of course, they think that they were the ones in the right now.
Eiji: .. I wanted to talk to you about something.
Eiji: You don't have to think too hard to notice that all, or at least, most prisoners like you much more than me.
Eiji: Most of those who were voted innocent are thankful to you for saving them and they're hoping to be forgiven this time again.
Eiji: And those who were voted guilty are this close to begging you to save them from me and forgive them.
Eiji: It's like..
Eiji: It's like you're a goddess of this place, haha..
Miki: .. Hehe, come on, I-I'm just doing my job..
Eiji: Don't try to forgive all of them this time though. Be more careful. They're obviously going to try and take advantage of your kindness.
Eiji: Now, let's go and interrogate-
Eiji: !
*sounds of Eiji falling on the floor*
Miki: Eiji-san!
Miki: A-are you okay?!
Miki: Are you hurt? What happened?
Eiji: .. W-why..
Eiji: Why is everything so.. blurry now?
Miki: Please, tell me if you're not feeling okay! We can just interrogate everyone tomorrow-
*sounds of Eiji trying to get up*
Eiji: I'm fine. I'm fine, I can do this.
Eiji: H-huh?..
Eiji: "Why am I feeling so weak?.."
Miki: Eiji-san, your body is shaking. A-are you feeling any pain? Maybe discomfort?..
Eiji: I told you I'm fine! Let's just go and begin the second trial already-
Eiji: Ah-
Eiji: .. T-thank you.
Miki: If it wasn't for me, you would fall again!
Miki:*sobs* Eiji-san.. Please, just tell me what's going on..
Miki: I just want to help you!
Eiji: Guard 002, let me go.
Miki: I can't do that when you look like you're about to-
Eiji: JUST LET ME DO MY JOB, MIKI!
Eiji: WHY CAN'T I HAVE AT LEAST ONE THING I ACTUALLY ENJOY DOING? WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO RUIN EVERYTHING?
Eiji: I'M BASICALLY NO ONE BECAUSE OF YOU NOW, WHY DON'T YOU GET IT?!
Eiji: ...
Miki: .. Eiji-san? Eiji-san, can you hear me?
Miki: "I should let him have some rest.."
Miki: "What did he mean by me ruining everything though? Was he talking about everyone's verdicts?"
Miki: "I doubt that he's jealous of me being more respected by the prisoners or something like that.."
Miki: ".. I'm a goddess of this place.. What did he mean by that?"
Miki: "It doesn't sound bad though, hehe.."
Miki: "Trust me, Eiji-san, I will save everyone in this prison. I will forgive them for all their sins and I will guide them."
Miki: "I will save everyone, Eiji-san.."
Miki: ".. Including you."
***
???: Hm?
???: What is going on with that screen?..
???: Ah, it's you!.. Sorry, I forgot your name again.
Jackalope: .. Maybe we should have chosen someone else.
???: *laughs* You're right, you're right.
???: No, seriously, I still don't understand why I was chosen. I mean..
???: Look at me. Why would you make someone like me the guard of this prison?
Jackalope: You're asking way too many questions for someone like you. By the way, I left your guard uniform at the door. You can go and get it, I'll open the door just this once.
???: Really? Okay..
*sounds of slow footsteps*
[ ??? opens the door ]
???: Wow!..
???: .. I-it doesn't look that comfortable.
[ ??? closes the door ]
???: And why would I even wear it? Didn't you say that I'm not allowed to leave this room?
Jackalope: True, but now you'll actually be able to participate in the trials.
Jackalope: As always, you'll be able to see everything from here. You don't even have to leave.
???: .. Does that mean I can participate in the voting process too now?
Jackalope: Absolutely! You can even say hi to the other guards if you want.
Jackalope: That girl is very cute, by the way, so I doubt that you'd want to lose your chance-
Jackalope: Wait, or are you-
???: Hmm, I think it will be too hard for them to accept the fact that there's a third guard hiding somewhere.
???: .. I think I have an idea. You already did that thing to the first guard, right?
???: I think I know how I can interrogate the prisoners without letting the other guards know anything.
Jackalope: You remember that you still have to vote though, right?
???: I do, I do. Don't worry, I won't disappoint you~
???: *yawns* Sorry, looks like I've spent all my energy for today.
???: Hehe, I wish I had a stuffed animal that looked like you-
Jackalope: Don't even think about it. Cuddling with a guy? No thank you.
???: Calm down.. You know I can't even be in the same room as you anyway.
???: But before I go to sleep, can you answer my question already?
???: Why was I chosen?
???: I mean, I can't even participate in this trial properly. I just spend all my time in this room.
???: I'm also not that interested in "saving" or "punishing" those prisoners..
Jackalope: .. Well, let's just say that all guards have their reasons to be here.
Jackalope: That guy wants to see his brother in pain and he wants to get his revenge on him. The girl is harder to figure out, but I'm sure she has her goal too.
Jackalope: You also have a reason to be here. Why don't you think about it yourself?
???: Hm...
???: Maybe you're right.
???: Either way, I don't think I'll lose much if I participate in this thing.
???: I have nothing to lose anyway.
#i can't wait to see the results of their t2 polls like it was so hard to figure out their canon verdicts too#you can tell me who you're planning to vote innocent/guilty rn if you want! :D#every day i remember that eiji is an obvious victim of abuse who still has so much anger inside and doesn't know what to do with it#so he just immediately jumps to violence and saying that it was everyone else's fault and not his. and then i cry#like at the same time yeah eiji MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T SAY THAT AKIO DESERVED HIS PUNISHMENT but also. idk it just feels realistic#also something about yurika attacking some of the weakest prisoners here just.. says so much about her#like sure she's unhinged! she's a little insane! but she's also too scared to attack people who can actually fight back#so yeah she'll just go for the guy who can barely walk and a child. akio really got lucky this time#and remember when i said that riku's t2 version probably won't be that bad. i-i was wrong#also say hi to the third guard :) actually you can send asks to him/interact with him if you want!#he can't leave his room but he can still talk to others just not in person#(also i am not tagging all of them.)#🎤 voice dramas! 🎤#milgram#milgram oc#milgram project#ocgram
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thinking about that ford blood angel thing i made
#body horror#gore#blood#the gore and body horror is for what i'm about to say in the tags#reason why i was thinking about fucked up blood angel ford:#the first time i drew him his head was the same but the rest of his body was meat and bones and organs#(and i didn't remember this until now- but the wings were actually made of blood. this is not consistent with the next tags)#i thought. well why would his head remain untouched but his body wouldn't?#and then it hit me. the worst possible thing ever. the most disgusting thing ever#the wings are made up of the skin that's missing from the rest of his body#they aren't like actual wings- they're the intact flesh that was torn away to make a sort of two-part cloak#they resemble wings somewhat because of the fact that they fan out on either side of him#he can still use them to fly#another detail about this blood angel ford i don't think i ever mentioned- his weapon is a solidified shard of his own blood#whenever it upgrades it gets more durable and longer#so it goes from like. somewhat brittle dagger so you can't hit things too hard lest it break#to long lance that you can use to stab god in the face#anyway. sorry for bringing up blood angel ford. i'm sorry to him too for bringing him into existence
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mgsv has so many literary references to books i have essays abt it kind of makes me.
#i'm sick this is my slightly fever-induced thought stream in the rest of the tags sorry ->#all the 1984 stuff is really interesting. the position of both ocelot and kaz as the people running room 101 is really fascinating.#because it somehow manages to place huey in the position of winston while also having venom be in the position of winston.#<- would that make quiet julia? actually yes it does bc of her nature motifs.#and the whole game seems to doublethink of whats real and what isn't. though it starts to tell you what isn't real its still there.#and then with moby dick you have pequod which is just. the ship. and queegueg who is ishmaels friend. which is why its kind of perfect he i#the other pilot we see who takes kaz places. and theres other stuff with him but i don't want to get into that. i could go on for a while.#but whats interesting is that ahab seems to apply more to kaz than it does to venom. esp because his own deception results in his downfall.#whereas that isn't true with venom if youve played mg1 he just kinda keeps going with it to at least some degree.#and i guess kaz is working for foxhound but you know what i mean.#ocelot even being the perfect counterpart to starbuck who works at kaz's side but disagrees with his methods to an extreme.#he isn't of the same morals as starbuck but its just the oppositional character type.#does that mean cipher is moby dick. yes actually bc of the leg thing with kaz. oh my god.#<- funny enough i am actually getting moby dick back out of the library bc i never finished it and its been ages since i read what i did.#i remember the narration being kind of nuts.#honestly the lord of the flies stuff feels less like a reference and more like eli read that book and decided he wanted to do it irl. lol.#i can't say these books are even close to being favorites but i'm intimately familiar with both 1984 and lotf so those are. those.#and moby dick is genuinely just kind of. what in the hell did i experience. theres a lot to unpack.#and i didn't even finish the damn thing.#ok i'm done now i just needed to get that out of my system. now i'm off to read veniss underground. 👍#.txt
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trying to find a fic based on one half remembered scene I read when I first got into the fandom before I started bookmarking fics a lot
three hours later:
This is a lot harder than anticipated (usually quite good at finding stories I've read before). Luckily also found some quite interesting other fics to read
#Svss#Fandom#Unluckily I still can't find that story#Something about shen qingqui/yuan encountering a virgin detecting artifact I believe it was a sword#And somehow being able to handle it#Was a surprise to him to because he thought even if he was his body wasn't#I remember a lot of other peak lords were there#Especially lady qi but not the context#Sigh#Surprised I could only find one fic that actually had a virgin detecting sword in it just based on searching the keywords on AO3 for svss#And it was great but not the right character#Like this seems like it should be a fandom tropes#What tags should I be searching?#Linya talks
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watched through steven universe future for the first time almost two weeks ago and I still feel kinda messed up about it
#mine#personal#su future spoilers in the tags below#I weirdly saw myself in a lot of what he was going through#don't fully know where that came from#the part where he runs away to jasper and Changed in particular kind of took me out of my body#I mean I can be kind of suggestible and prone to identity disturbance so there's very likely at least an element of that here#but still#there were just some notes there that hit in a weird and uncomfortable way#also the part where he was mad at his dad and all his dad could focus on was how that fit into his own projection of how things should go#and it just made him madder#I can understand why I reacted to that part at least#(my dad turned into the kind of person I can talk to about trauma AFTER the chance to actually process it right had already expired)#(and he tells me whenever it comes up that if I want to just yell at him I can do it I can just yell at him and he'll take it)#(and I already know that wouldn't help me)#(there's certain things that can't really be fixed and there's just nothing to do but move forward)#(especially cause so much of the source of the trauma is a distant memory by now)#(so even if the emotional scars are still there what would I even yell about when I barely remember the events any more)#anyway yeah I understand why steven got so pissed at greg about wanting him to rebel#also I think the arc where steven sought out jasper unearthed some of my self esteem issues re: my history of anger#there's a darkness inside of me sometimes I scare myself yada yada insert shadow hedgehog jpeg#but yeah when I say that arc took me out of my body I mean it KNOCKED me out and I'm still sort of re-sewing my soul back in place#discombobulated as all hell#did more talking in the tags than I expected here
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if i may complain for a bit about something that doesn't actually matter and can be easily avoided. god i hate fics that baby-fy chuuya
#yeah yeah i know just don't read them w/e. there's no tags to avoid these unfortunately 😐#it kinda feels like a fanon of fanon. it's so far removed from his canon self even if some core elements are there.#why write him like a 15 y/o even as an adult. and the thing is. even when he was 15 in canon he wasn't this childish. c'mon.#a lot of the most popular skk fics have him characterized like this and man I'm tired. look how they massacred my boy.#ok complaining session over. i feel like i sound kinda mean. sorry abt that.#it doesn't actually matter that much just a bit frustrating when it keeps happening when you're already a couple hundred words into a fic#edit: i lied I'm not done complaining i gotta turn this into a rant bc ppl misunderstanding my favorite character online is a crime.#childish was the wrong word for me to use ig it's more like. innocent.#girl. bestie. he has been part of criminal organizations quite literally since he remembers himself.#he is not some sweet uwu baby who's a bit of a tsundere or w/e. he's got genuine reasons to be angry yknow. he's been through shit#and he's not innocent? he's in the fucking mafia lol we literally see him kill like 20 people in 5 minutes at 15 y/o.#he's not naive either???? he may not be dazai levels of smart but he's still capable of figuring things out himself????#like he did figure out rimbaud's thing by himself. he's not stupid or slow. he wouldn't be a mafia executive otherwise.#and that's also the reason he can't be naive like... he is in constant danger after all#and idk watering down all this^ for aus is boring and turning him into practically an oc but it's even worse in canonverse#or literally any au where he suffers the same amount as he does in canon. bc then what's your excuse for watering him down.#it feels like forcing him into this very clear cut mold you see in every media when he is literally. not that.#no one in bsd is honestly that's part of its charm imo. they all subvert your expectations of their character archetypes#i think this is why it's making me so angry bc it doesn't feel like just misunderstanding the character but also the whole story. in a way.#am i going too far? perhaps. i dunno. i do feel less Dirty after letting out this frustration tho.#complaining session is now officially over okay. yes. sorry. i don't mean to offend anyone sorry if i sound mean at any point.
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