#ssw3

[intimidatingpuffinstudios]

I'll soon start reading SSW3, FINALLY, but I wanted to finish my re-read of book 2 first, and suddenly I thought of something.

So, you told us before that a good ending with Manerkol was possible, and that it's perfectly possible that Manerkol and his SSW MC are still alive and well at the time of BtM.

You also said Cy and Manerkol know each other, and that on the other hand Zach and Manerkol don't know each other. So, I have two(ish) questions!

While Zach and Manerkol don't know each other, does either of them know OF the other? Like, I can't imagine a dragon not knowing of Manerkol, for example.

In the case of a Manerkol playthrough in SSW, does Cy (and possibly Zach depending on your answer to the previous question) know about how Manerkol got a soulmate and how that soulmate somehow changed stuff for him and what not? Basically, is a Manerkol-romancing-SSW-MC known to BtM time period dragons because of the events at the time of SSW? And well, if yes, when did they learn of that?

Zach knows of Manerkol, Manerkol has no idea Zach exists.

In the time of BtM, none of the three are even aware that the other party is around.

Not at first, at least...

P.S: If Cy ever learned that Manerkol got a soulmate, expect them to rage and destroy things.

Soulmates are sacred and a gift for Dragons alone! HOW DARE THAT FUCKING RUNT---

[pixilator]

Update : February 26th, 2024 [WAS SUPPOSED TO POST THIS EARLIER THIS YEAR UGHHHH I FORGOTTTT]

everything underneath the read more is the old update

Welcome to the sixth update! I was supposed to post this on December 4th in 2023, but I had it sitting in my drafts until now... and before I picked it up again, it was half as long-winded as it is now.

–

>age rating, genre, &c

-So in the first post I ever made I had no idea what the age rating was going to be, mostly because I didn't know at the time what topics I'd be writing in the story. I've decided it'll be 15+ [Teen Plus]. Mild profanity, moderate violence, and suggestive themes.

I don't like swearing in my work and the violence will be generally fantasy violence, slapstick, and any genuinely graphic violence will either be alluded to, shrouded, or off-screen. Suggestive themes is only there for tobacco use, mild alcohol use, and one of the characters having a penchant for telling dirty jokes. I do know for a fact there will be serious psychological aspects and potential mental trauma, although I don't know how well I'll be able to write it.

-Okay, final version: the genre is action-adventure/fantasy with mystery elements. The main centrepiece is an adventure, learning to survive, with fight scenes featuring both the everyday and the supernatural. There's definitely mysteries to solve but they're really more for character growth rather than being the whole point of the story.

>worldbuilding

-Since the previous update in March 2023, the military schooling system has been fleshed out fully now, and the culture is interlocked with the civilians of the area it originates from. On the topic of cultures and inculcation, Mayhem has a certain learned quirk that gets her into trouble sometimes.

-I also have a history of the nation she comes from. Depending on whether or not there's a good reason to info-dump it, for now it'll remain just notes for me to keep in mind while I write.

-SSW 1: The history of SSW1, the inner workings of it, and how it affects the world are generally finished -- for now, at least. It'll be the biggest mystery. SSW2 and SSW3 are mysteries as well, but they're to be revealed quite early, I would think? This one is supposed to be a sort of looming threat in the background sort of making things feel wrong. I hope I can pull it off well.

-SSW 2: I'd say this was connected to our main characters, but every one of them are, so it's really no surprise. Although I will say this one has two side plots involved. One's a more active threat than the other.

-SSW 3: I've had to kill my darling yet again. It had too much padding, so I cut out a lot of it in between March 2023 and now. Basically I've made it more similar to 2 in that they're mirrors of each other. They're sort of hidden within the world itself.

I had written "3’s previous overhaul was pretty extensive" in the March 2023 update -- but I didn't say what it was though, which is silly of me. So for the sake of helping me remember, and making sure I'm keeping track of things properly:

I'd switched its influences on February 21st of 2023, based on a backup file of a skit I'd updated to reflect the new changes. I began wondering if I should change it December 24th of 2022, based on my archived Discord channel. I had two different influences that started to clash and I didn't want to lob the two together, and by March 19th of 2023 I'd updated the worldbuilding documents. Although I liked both of them, I had to stick to one. So I chose the one that had more clear effect on the story. I had even changed one of the character's real names because of it. One of the names below is a stand-in. I won't tell which though! :]

-SSW 4: ...I can't remember for the life of me what this one was supposed to be or if I was simply spitballing ideas, but it's sitting here in the update template listed as "d". Let's say that I am quietly removing this one until I can remember what it originally had been... ;__;

–

>characters

-I want to add another girl to the group, that way I will have balanced genders in the group. I even have a proper name for her now, Nephele. It would go with two themes I have in mind, but I can't see her having much of a use in the long run. I can't have a useless character, everything must push the plot forward or develop the characters in some way. But five characters seems to be the limit for what the story needs. I'm wondering what to do with Dragon, though. Technically he is the sixth character, but I forget he exists most of the time. He doesn't quite fit with the world, and I'm not sure how to implement him without changing many aspects about SSW2. I think I should put him on the backburner again.

-Since there are other people in Mayhem's culture going on the same rite of passage, and competition is celebrated, I'm sure there could be another group that she might want to race against. I think it would be really fun to see how their personalities bounce off one another.

-I changed Hestia's family dynamics a little and streamlined her weapons and belongings. One of her belongings is a thing of interest...

-I lied when I said Pepper's backstory was done, I had changed it twice between March 2023 and now. A few of the plot points just weren't sitting quite well with me. I also changed his reason for tagging along -- he's rather self interested, to say the least.

-Now writing Flavius' demeanor. I think he may be my favourite one to write so far. He's probably the most practical and efficient of the lot and really likes to call out stupidity.

-Trying to figure out how Mayhem will be travelling throughout the world. I wonder what type of truck she'd use? Perhaps there could be convenient places a warrior and her friends could stay at in their travels. If there are other people on their quests too, surely there must be something.

>references

-Currently drawing a real reference for Mayhem! I've finished the front view, the side view, and now am working on the back view. Even though the previous reference is good, it doesn't have everything I need, and I'm going to need this newer one for keeping things consistent.

–

>MAYHEM:

Her backstory is finished. [I haven't felt the need to change it in several months now!]

Her personality is finished. [Same as above!]

Her design is finished. [When I was drawing the reference, I removed a few of her chains, various little details, and made her more purple rather than blue. Technically she's supposed to be the blue one of the group but lately I've been seeing her as more purple.]

Relationships are a little more detailed than they were before.

–

>HESTIA

Her backstory is finished. [I haven't felt the need to change it.]

Her personality is finished. [I changed a few things.]

Her design is finished. [Although I did change her glasses.]

Relationships are a little more detailed than they were before.

–

>FLAVIUS

Half of his backstory is fleshed out.

Half of his personality is written down.

His design is finished. [Added a little bit of lace and embroidery, but other than that...]

Relationships are still rather basic.

–

>PEPPER

His backstory is finished. [I'm FINALLY happy with it. I think I'm going to keep this version. Now watch as I make myself a liar again later.]

His personality is finished. [I haven't felt the need to change it lately!]

His design is finished. [Two outfits, couldn't choose. Otherwise, design is finished. His hair style is bothering me again though...]

Relationships are still rather basic.

–

>ADRIAN

Currently no backstory as of yet.

His personality is still rather basic but I'm happy with the result so far.

His design is on paper. [He's supposed to be the purple one but lately I've been seeing him as blue.]

Need to create relationships.

–

>DRAGON

...Really not sure what to do with him. I don't really have a use for him.

–

>spreadsheets

-Mayhem’s spreadsheet is generally finished, although I want to put more detail in the relationships.

-Hestia’s spreadsheet is generally finished, although I want to put more detail in the relationships.

-Flavius’ spreadsheet has half the personality, half the backstory, and all of the general information done.

-Pepper’s spreadsheet is generally finished, although I want to put more detail in the relationships.

-Adrian’s spreadsheet has no backstory, but a basic personality. Currently has no relationships or stats.

–

>main plot

-I got rid of the previous draft. It was. Not Good. So I'm rewriting a new script -- I have four pages now.

>side plot

-Mayhem's sideplot: Ties into her backstory, worldbuilding, items.

-Hestia's sideplot: Ties into her backstory, worldbuilding, items, relationships.

-Flavius' sideplot: Currently thinking.

-Pepper's sideplot: Basic idea, ties into his backstory.

-Adrian's sideplot: Currently thinking.

>romantic subplot

-Well, I thought I was gonna make one... but for now, it's a definite no. Somehow I feel as though it's just not right, at least right now. Maybe once everything falls into place. I'll be cutting this section out of the update template.

–

>actual work

-I really want to get characterization and set up the world early, so at first I'm just throwing the reader into the midst of things with no prior history and no info-dumping. I've got a really bad case of hijacking characters for exposition when they really shouldn't be doing that at the moment.

-FINALLY found the perfect art style! I've already posted one of the pictures. It's a bust of Mayhem. Although that picture took ~4-6ish hours, now that I've actually figured out what I'm doing it's been an overall breeze drawing the rest of the group. The art style doesn't have that 80's feeling I want but that's okay, it's pretty and simple. It's almost got a 90's feeling. I think that's a lot more fitting for the vision I have.

-I'm still on the fence whether or not I'm going to do this in digital. Now that I know what I'm going to be using as an art style, I have to make sure I'm able to make panels and release pages in time.

-- TRADITIONAL ART WAY --

-I have some gel pens. If the sparkling ones look nice when scanned, they'll probably be a part of the style. Watercolour with gel pen seems to be the best technique so far. I have a picture using Mayhem as the guinea pig, this was back in October 2023. Lately I also drew Miku and Sailor Moon. My white gel pen isn't playing nice with the colours though, so I've had to resort to chalk.

-Coloured pencils. I don't know. I really want to use them, and I've practiced with them, but I don't think I'm using them correctly. Maybe if I were to use them for backgrounds, but other than that until I learn how to use them properly I'm going to have to pass on them as a potential colouring candidate for a while.

-Otherwise, if colouring it happens to be too time consuming, I'll just have it as black and white.

-- DIGITAL ART WAY --

-With the newest art style I've cut down on a lot of textures, shade, lighting, and completely axed the no-line look for sake of saving time.

--

This one's actually rather long this time and it took me a while to write it. Thanks for reading this far!

Pixilator

[mondlichtine]

all meine freundinnen wurden per unfall schwanger, um es mal salopp zu formulieren. ein one night stand, ein weggelassenes kondom... und oft auch dieses: wir haben entschieden, wir sind bereit für kinder, haben die verhütung weggelassen und hatten nicht damit gerechnet, dass es so schnell geht! oder auch: ich hab immer gewollt, und als ich nicht mehr dran glaubte, hat es geklappt. klingt für mich alles nach hexenwerk und nach : glück und pech. nach wetterlaunen des schicksals. nothing to do for me. just learn to let it go. let it be. #schwangerwerden #schwangerwerdenwollen #kinderwunsch #unerfüllterkinderwunsch #gelassenschwanger #ängste #schwangerschaft #mutterwerden #sexualität #spirituell #weiblichkeit #innereskind #esoterik #kontrollverlust #kontrollsucht #kontrolle #loslassen #kontrolleloslassen #hochsensiblität #ssw3 #ssw4 #Schwangerschaftstest #wobleibenmeinetage #warten #schwangerschaftsfrühanzeichen #letitbe #schlafen #intuition #fehlendeintuition #ichhabkeineahnung

[horitsuba]

syaosaku week 2017 ♡ ↪ day3: smiles (x)

[tishtish4]

Syaosaku week

Day 4: Celebrations

Happy Birthday Shaoran kun <3. I see you’ve already had your wish come true (^o^) ohohohoho!

[vnch3]

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[watchesmall-blog]

$22.49 Men's Solar Sport Watch LED/ Quartz Combo Shock and Water Resistant SSW3 by - CW12BV1RVJ1 - Men's Watches, Wrist Watches, Casual Imported LARGE EASY TO READ WITH BACK LIGHTING. This solar powered watch by ricco power has a large, easy to read dial with back lit digital settings. ULTRA LIGHT WEIGHT AND SUPER COMFORTABLE. At less than 2.5 ounces, you will almost forget you have it on. The comfort shields that join the watch case to the polyurethane strap eliminate pinching and fits the curve of your wrist. ACCURATE & RELIABLE. With the precise Japanese movement and dual time settings you will accurately know the time where ever you are. Plus the second setting can be set to your favorite vacation spot, another part of the country, or any part of the world. The stopwatch is handy for timing work outs, bike rides, or timing the duration of any activity. AUTOMATIC DATE SETTINGS. The day, date, month automatically changes to the new month without having to adjust for longer or shorter months. DURABLE AND TOUGH. Due to the deep set, well protected crystal, the hardened ABS case, stainless steel back, and corrugated PU band, this watch will endure a few bumps and exceed your expectations every day. Your watch will arrive in a silver tin display gift box. 's Watches, Wrist Watches, Casual

[guitarcenter]

Singer-Songwriter 3 winner tesshenley's new EP "Wonderland" produced by Don Was is out TODAY! Have a look behind-the-scenes in the studio and get her music here:http://bit.ly/1zHPaBs

[djspinna]

DJ SPINNA UK Tour…November, 2013 - SCOTTISH SOULFUL WEEKENDER3

[intimidatingpuffinstudios]

Hello! Something seems to be up with the SSW3 demo. I’m in the middle of the convo during which Straasa is detailing his past, and I’m getting blocked to continue with a lil pop-up that says “Chapter2 line 2017: Invalid expression, couldn’t extract another token: .” Just to let you know!

Fixed! Thanks for the report!

P.S: Also thanks to the other anon who messaged me with the same problem 🥹

[mondlichtine]

Vielleicht sollte ich öfter spazieren gehen. Dabei kommen mir immer die wunderbarsten Gedanken. Gestern im Mondlicht (jaja!) kamen mir die Worte einer Freundin in den Sinn. . Vor zwei Jahren bin ich vom Dorf hierher in die Stadt umgezogen und rannte mit großen sehnsüchtigen Augen durch die Welt, weil ich meinte, es sei an der Zeit "den Mann meines Lebens zu finden." Ich war bei jeder Veranstaltung wie ein "Menschenscanner", hab jeden Mann mit meinen Blicken durchleuchtet, ob er vielleicht der derjenigewelche sei. Das war eine anstrengende Zeit! Ich wollte einfach nicht mehr länger warten, nicht mehr länger Single sein, endlich DEN Mann haben & MEINE Familie gründen. Dann zermarterte ich mein Hirn: In welcher Stadt ist es wahrscheinlicher meinen Liebsten zu finden ? Besagte Freundin sagte zu diesem Wirrwarr in meinem Kopf: "Ich finde, du klingst ganz schön verzweifelt." Und mir wurde klar, dass so ein Anklammern und Hinterherrennen eigentlich absolut unsexy ist. Ich wollte nicht eine Frau sein, deren einziger Lebenssinn darin besteht, Mr.Perfekt zu finden - die sich und ihren Wert darüber definierte, ob sie in einer Beziehung war oder nicht. Also ließ ich los. Ich verabschiedete mich von der verzweifelten Suche und ließ "geschehen". . Gestern nun, im Mondenschein, dachte ich bei mir: vielleicht ist das mit dem Baby kriegen genauso wie mit der Partnersuche. Das kann man nicht erzwingen. Da spielt Glück und Zufall mit rein. Man kann eigentlich nur sein Leben leben, Verantwortung tragen, dass es erfüllend(er) wird/ist... und aktiv wirklich gar nichts tun! Das Schicksal führt dann drei Seelen zusammen, Mama, Papa, Baby - wenn es so sein soll. Mein Mann kam, als ich bereit für ihn war, innerlich nicht mehr so fixiert darauf. Vielleicht, ganz vielleicht kommt so auch mein Kleines...?! . #schwangerwerdenwollen #kinderwunsch #unerfüllterkinderwunsch #gelassenschwanger #ängste #mutterwerden #spirituell #weiblichkeit #kontrollverlust #kontrollsucht #kontrolle #loslassen #kontrolleloslassen #hochsensibel #ssw3 #ssw4 #Schwangerschaftstest #wobleibenmeinetage #warten #intuition #wiedernichtschwanger #partnersuche #schicksal #nichtsgeschiehtohnegrund #hoffnung

[mondlichtine]

Es hat mich etwas umgehauen, wieviel liebe Kommentare ich unter meinem "überfällig"-Post bekommen hatte. Danke dafür! Ich war so erstaunt und bei den anteilnehmenden Worten kamen mir echt die Tränen. Ich hatte das Gefühl: Wow, wir Frauen halten zusammen, sind füreinander da. Wir sind "eingeweiht", wir wissen darum, wie es der anderen geht. Wie schön wäre es, wenn jede Frau um sich einen Frauenkreis hätte, der sie trägt und (be)stärkt! Die Energie und Weisheit so eines Zirkels wäre sicherlich unschlagbar. Ob es wohl "in alten Zeiten" mal so üblich war? Oder bei den Indianern? Danke @arzu_yln, @muckel_wunder, @mariannejustmeyer, @coltura_ und @miamore_85 für eure anteilnehmenden Worte! #schwangerwerden #schwangerwerdenwollen #kinderwunsch #unerfüllterkinderwunsch #gelassenschwanger #ängste #schwangerschaft #mutterwerden #sexualität #spirituell #weiblichkeit #innereskind #esoterik #kontrollverlust #kontrollsucht #kontrolle #loslassen #kontrolleloslassen #hochsensibel #ssw3 #ssw4 #Schwangerschaftstest #wobleibenmeinetage #warten #schwangerschaftsfrühanzeichen #intuition #fehlendeintuition #ichhabkeineahnung #wiedernichtschwanger

[mondlichtine]

Tag vier ... überfällig. Ich wache mit meinen typischen Regelbeschwerden auf. Ich weiß bescheid, was passieren wird, wenn ich jetzt aufs Klo gehe. Also: doch kein Kind. Doch kein Kugelbauch. Doch kein: "jetzt ändert sich mein Leben radikal". Eine Leere. Eine Frage: Wird es immer so bleiben? Bin ich unfähig, ein Kind zu erschaffen, in mir? Habe ich die Kraft, solch Zyklus von Hoffnung und Enttäuschung über Jahre zu ertragen? Wie lange will ich versuchen, bevor ich aufgebe? Wie lange will ich probieren, immer wieder von vorne probieren? Es fühlt sich ein bisschen wie ein Leistungszwang an: darauf fixiert sein, ob man nun "gute" also vorzeigbare Ergebnisse liefern kann. Ich möchte nicht zu meinem Lebensmittelpunkt machen, ob ich nun schwanger werde(n kann) oder nicht. Ich wünschte mir, es könnte nebenbei entstehen, einfach so passieren. Gewünscht, aber nicht erzwungen. Nur: wie man locker lassen lernen kann, ist mir absolut ein Rätsel... #schwangerwerden #schwangerwerdenwollen #kinderwunsch #unerfüllterkinderwunsch #gelassenschwanger #ängste #schwangerschaft #mutterwerden #sexualität #spirituell #weiblichkeit #innereskind #esoterik #kontrollverlust #kontrollsucht #kontrolle #loslassen #kontrolleloslassen #hochsensibel #ssw3 #ssw4 #Schwangerschaftstest #wobleibenmeinetage #warten #schwangerschaftsfrühanzeichen #intuition #fehlendeintuition #ichhabkeineahnung #wiedernichtschwanger

[mondlichtine]

es ärgert mich, dass ich es nicht "einfach weiß". Da geht schon wieder etwas (oder nix) in meinem Körper vor, und ich hab einfach keine Ahnung. Ich schaue aus dem Fenster und mir fällt ein, dass ich in letzter Zeit sehr lebhaft geträumt hab. Wirr und bunter als sonst. Und die letzten zwei Abende konnte ich gar nicht einschlafen - und sonst leg ich mich bei Müdigkeit hin und schlummer selig ein. Nun, arbeitet da mein Unterbewusstsein in mir, dass ja scheinbar besseren Kontakt zu meinen Körpervorgängen hat? Oder ist einfach Streitigkeit mit Mann und Neuigkeiten im Beruf etwas, was mich wach hält und unruhig träumen lässt? 3 Tage überfällig. Tag 29 meines Zyklus. Zu früh, um über ungelegte Eier nachzudenken, finde ich. Vielleicht sollte ich rausgehen! Ist eh gesund fürs Baby... ich tippe mir an die Stirn bei dem Gedanken... und muss lächeln. #schwangerwerden #schwangerwerdenwollen #kinderwunsch #unerfüllterkinderwunsch #gelassenschwanger #ängste #schwangerschaft #mutterwerden #sexualität #spirituell #weiblichkeit #innereskind #esoterik #kontrollverlust #kontrollsucht #kontrolle #loslassen #kontrolleloslassen #überfällig ssw2 #ssw3 #ssw4 #Schwangerschaftstest #wobleibenmeinetage #warten #schwangerschaftsfrühanzeichen #träume #schlafen #intuition #fehlendeintuition #ichhabkeineahnung

[mondlichtine]

Fortsetzung der #schwangerschaftsfrühzeichen : . 10) Harndrang - ich muss nicht öfter pinkeln als sonst. 11) Gefühlsschwankungen. Na, bei sovielen Gedanken... Da muss man doch gereizt werden! Die letzten Tage habe ich ein paar mal mit meinem Mann gestritten und mir war immer gleich zum Heulen. Nun, das kann auch passieren, bevor man seine Tage bekommt. Gildet als auch nicht! 12) Blähungen. Nada. 13) Akne und 14) Mundschleimentzündungen (na danke, was da alles auf einen zukommen kann)... . Hmn, aber die letzten Nächte war mir immer so heiß. Tatsache: 15) die #Basaltemperatur steigt mit Beginn der Schwangerschaft (und würde vor dem Eintreten der Regel abfallen!) - merke ich denn an "Hitze" meine Basaltemperatur, oder wüsst ich davon nur, wenn ich jeden Tag nen Thermometer in mich stecken würde? Und war nicht meinem Mann auch sehr warm, liegt es vielleicht am Wetter?? Nun ja, die Temperatur sollte über 2 WOCHEN konstant am Morgen erhöht sein, damit eine Schwangerschaft vorliegt. Aber ehrlich mal wenn ich nicht innerhalb einer Woche meine Tage bekomme, dann bin ich einfach schwanger, daran gibts dann für mich nix mehr zu deuten. Nur die Zeit bis dahin.... . Grad wird mir sehr heiß. Kind schon in Anmarsch? Zuviele Gedanken auf einmal? Oder ists doch nur die heiße Suppe?? . . #schwangerwerden #schwangerwerdenwollen #kinderwunsch #unerfüllterkinderwunsch #gelassenschwanger #ängste #schwangerschaft #mutterwerden #sexualität #spirituell #weiblichkeit #innereskind #esoterik #kontrollverlust #kontrollsucht #kontrolle #loslassen #kontrolleloslassen #überfällig #ssw3 #ssw4 #Schwangerschaftstest #wobleibenmeinetage #warten #schwangerschaftsfrühanzeichen

[mondlichtine]

Ich löffle an meiner Suppe und denke über #Schwangerschaftsfrühanzeichen nach. Genaugenommen google ich. Damit breche ich mein selbstauferlegtes Gebot, während der Schwangerschaft nicht mehr im Internet nach Antworten zu suchen. (damit ich als Hypochonder nicht von den Horrorgeschichten anderer mit Panik infiziert werde) Aber nun ja: vielleicht, oder gar wahrscheinlich? bin ich ja nicht schwanger... also: dieses eine mal noch^^ . Da gibt es eine Reihe von Symptomen und die passen alle eher nicht: die 3 Klassiker #Morgenübelkeit (eigentlich eher in der 6.-12.SSW) , #Müdigkeit und #Schwindel sind bei mir nicht vorhanden. Nun ja, vielleicht ist es ja auch zu früh. Oder, Gott bewahre, ich gehöre zu den Glücklichen, die davon verschont bleiben? Auch sind weder meine 4) Brüste größer noch empfindlicher (naja, vor ein paar Tagen waren das meine Brustwarzen, aber das ist auch schon wieder vorbei) und 5) #Heißhungerattacken hab ich auch nicht (...nicht mehr als sonst^^) . Aber auch so lustige Anzeichen gibt es: 6) die Schamlippen sind mehr durchblutet - ich ziehe mein Höschen aus und stelle nix dergleichen fest. 7) Man (frau....) riecht oder schmeckt plötzlich anders. Nö, alles schnuppert sich gleich für mich. 9) Vermehrter Ausfluss. Ok, bei mir schlabberts ... aber ich glaube das tuts auch vor der #Regelblutung? (Notiz an mich selbst: beim nächsten mal genauer hinschauen!) ... weiter im nächsten Post! #schwangerwerden #schwangerwerdenwollen #kinderwunsch #unerfüllterkinderwunsch #gelassenschwanger #ängste #schwangerschaft #mutterwerden #sexualität #spirituell #weiblichkeit #innereskind #esoterik #kontrollverlust #kontrollsucht #kontrolle #loslassen #kontrolleloslassen #überfällig #ssw3 #ssw4 #Schwangerschaftstest #wobleibenmeinetage #warten