#ss didn't help

[themintman]

Either of these 🙏 they are so funny to me

peepaw's first time seeing light in 20 years give him a sec-

And a photo taken moments before disaster

[skyloftian-nutcase]

Okay, well replaying Skyward Sword reminded me that I wrote this like a year ago buried in a reblog so I'm just gonna air it out and plop it here.

The first time Link had disappeared, it had caused alarm. Zelda had just gone missing, ripped from her loftwing by a treacherous tornado, and suddenly Link was a haggard mess, dressed in a knight’s uniform, and then gone. People feared that he had been hurt too, a search shouldn’t last after sunset; he wasn’t a full knight, after all. However, Headmaster Gaepora had managed to calm the academy students, and the news spread throughout Skyloft.

It took almost a week for Link to return to Skyloft. When people saw his crimson loftwing circling around the town, a collective sigh of relief fell over the sky island. If he’d been gone consistently for so long, then he’d only return when he’d found Zelda, after all. Not to mention it meant they were both safe.

However, that had not been the case. Link had been alone, tired, and filthy. His clothes had tears in them in certain places, he had strange silky threads wrapped around parts of his legs, dry blood stains were disturbingly evident on his tunic, and he practically had bags under the already constantly present bags under his eyes. He had landed just by the goddess statue and had not been seen since. However, another bright light had appeared in the cloud barrier, unnerving the Skyloftians, who chattered about it amongst each other.

The bazaar had been exceptionally busy that day, and the new red light in the sky caused people to gather there to discuss the matter. It meant there were long lines just to get inside, and Link had not seemed keen to stand among the crowds to get the supplies he so desperately needed. Instead, he’d sat on the bench outside, waiting for the townspeople to eventually spread throughout the island once more and give him the space he needed to prepare for his next trip.

The crowds did indeed start to thin, but as people trickled out of the bazaar with hot drinks and hot gossip on their tongues, they paused, finding the boy passed out on the bench. At first it was amusing; Link often fell asleep all over town. But then it was worrisome. He looked haggard. Everyone in town was invested in this boy’s well-being; they’d all welcomed him into their homes at one point or another, the adults all remembered the little orphan wandering the island aimlessly in the days after his father’s unfortunate death, they all remembered bringing him into their homes with promises of warm food and a pillow to lay his head on.

So it had been collectively decided that someone would fetch a pillow from their home and get Link a bit more settled. Wryna brought a blanket as well, but Greba had pointed out worriedly that Link was still a mess (with an emphatic “He stinks!” from Kukiel). Mallara had gotten Commander Eagus, who had promptly swaddled Link in the blanket and carried him to the academy to tend to him.

After that encounter, everyone on Skyloft had decided that they’d keep an extra careful eye out for the boy.

This new pact ended up saving the young knight-in-training’s life. The next time he came back, he had fallen off his loftwing entirely, caught only by Pipit, who had been notified that something was wrong when Orielle noticed the loftwing’s panicked screeches. He’d been unconscious before he fell into his classmate’s strong arms, and even Groose and his stooges had watched in concern as Pipit had rushed Link to the infirmary.

But today was not quite so dire. Link had been missing from Skyloft for two weeks after he’d recovered (his periods of absence continued to grow, much to everyone’s concern), but this morning Jakamar, his wife Wryna, and their daughter Kukiel woke up to a surprise green bundle curled up in their bed. He was on the edge, barely taking any space, but he hogged a majority of that side of the bed’s blanket. At first Jakamar nearly jumped out of his skin until he realized who it had to be, and he pulled the blanket back just enough to see the curved little ears and fluffy dirty blonde hair that everyone on Skyloft knew so well.

Blowing out a sigh, he turned away and held his wife as she peered over his shoulder. “Well, at least we know where he is.”

“He’ll be hungry,” Wryna commented. “I’ll get started on breakfast.”

Jakamar grunted in acknowledgement as his wife crawled to the bottom of the bed to climb over the wooden frame so as to avoid waking Link. Kukiel shot up and started to bounce on the bed in excitement, and Jakamar scooped her into his arms and also climbed out of bed in a similar manner. The house was silent as the family cleaned their faces and prepped for the day (though only because the parents constantly had to remind Kukiel to keep quiet with gentle shushes and fingers over their lips), and then Jakamar took his daughter out for a morning stroll while Wryna busied herself in the kitchen area.

When he got back to the smell of a delicious breakfast, he stretched and smiled, glancing at the bed to find it empty. He looked back to see Wryna’s disappointed face.

“He’s gone!” Kukiel exclaimed in her high voice.

“I didn’t see him step out,” Wryna said guiltily.

Jakamar put a hand on his wife and smiled reassuringly. “Don’t worry about it, hon. At least he got some sleep. Pack it up in a bottle, if we see him we’ll give it to him.”

Jakamar had the luck to find Link later that day as the boy was meandering around the windmills. Although Jakamar was getting ready to offer the now lukewarm food, Link instead started asking him about the windmill’s missing propeller. Jakamar helped him as best he could, and just as Link rushed off to find Gondo at Jakamar’s suggestion (he figured the robot, though broken, might be able to help), the man called out to him, waving the large bottle with food carefully packed inside.

Link stared at him, confused. Jakamar held out the bottle. “Take it, kid. You look like you’re starving.”

It was a bit of a slip up to admit it to his face. Link often would recoil at such remarks, would cover it up with an embarrassed laugh and then actively avoid whoever said it for a while, which then made it even harder to help him. But it was the truth - he did look gaunt and worn thin. Jakamar was usually a pretty easygoing guy, but this seemed like it was starting to get serious. He wished the headmaster would reel the kid in.

Link’s expression shifted, so easily readable on his face, and his confusion clearly became shame. He looked down at the ground, biting his lip. When Jakamar pushed the bottle into his sight again, he took it wordlessly, but as he locked eyes with the man he gave a grateful smile. Before Jakamar could get a word in, Link turned on his heel and headed for the bazaar.

Jakamar blew out a sigh as he watched the boy run. Hylia look out for him.

[justsomeoneunordinary]

I also firmly believe that fem Madara would still be a misogynist. She just thinks herself to be the exception to the rule 💅

[westrangecollectionkoalaposts]

Everytime I see sterek and steter tags I imagine stiles singing Cardi b's version of Last Christmas to malia 😭

[sunvine-sunavalon]

shoutout to my fellow self-shippers who have a "i can fix them"/"I can help fix them" attitude to their f/o's. Whether your completely serious or ironic/humourous about it, whether your selfship lore involves your f/o's redemption or not, I want to send you all love <333 /platonic

[sskk-manifesto]

Ep 5!!!

[quiescentdestiny]

my books came in at barnes and noble :3 gonna go get em tomorrow.

[cosmic-dust-poltergeist]

Pt2 of Tim Drake having Joker Junior PTSD and scaring people with his laugh

[Click Here For Part 1: Titans]

Part 2: Bats

Tim hadn't slept more than 20 minutes in 4 days. He's been running around non-stop between cases and his CEO duties, and it's taking its toll. His hallucinations started flickering to life a day ago; shadowy figures at the edge of his vision and noise/voices yelling in his ears. It's all very annoying, but unfortunately, he still has to make it through the family dinner before he can barricade himself in his room for the next 24 hours. He plans to sleep 20 of them.

He's literally praying the idiots he calls siblings are too distracted by each other to bother him And that Joker isn't a topic for once. He's one Jason whining about the Joker needing to die away from letting himself from having a breakdown and stabbing himself to get out of this stupid dinner. He's so fucking tired.

Luckily, he must look as dead as he feels because they mostly leave him alone and easily accept his demands of letting him have his mini coma tomorrow. Even gave some backhanded compliments about taking care of himself, as if he isn't the only reason the lights are still on in the manor. He doesn't see any of them pitching in. Maybe they think Bruce is still paying? Man dumped his job on a 15 year old. At this point, Tim is this family's sugar daddy, which is actually really awful now that he thinks about it...

He's off topic. Just have to make it thro-

"Well, if you would just kill him!!"

'Gods fucking damnit!'

The room goes eerily silent as Tim just starts unhinged laughing. He's choking on it as he tries to breathe.

"T-Tim?"

"Re-replacement?"

"I'll grab the antidote for Joker venom. Drake should have told us if-"

Tim holds up a hand, silencing them again, as he forces his breathing to calm a fraction. It's not enough to stop the laughter, but it is enough to get words out.

"The an- HAHA- antidote isn't going- HAHAHA- going to work f-Ha-for this! HAHAHA"

"Tim. I thought these attacks stopped."

"The fuck are you talking about, old man!?"

"They ne- HAHA- never stopped! HAHAHAHA- Juss-st became less- HAHA- often. Only HAHAHA- only if I get tri- HAHA- triggered ss-sssomehow HA"

"Wh-what triggered you, Timmy?"

Tim moves his plate and drink out of the wait before slamming his head onto the table twice with probably more force than necessary or is health. He feels his family jump up to stop him from doing more damage, but he's done, he just keeps his face pressed to the table while STILL Joker laughing. He has a massive headache, and it's not just from the brain damage he just gave himself.

"Wh- I mean, what happened to make Tim have these episodes?" Duke sounds petrified. Tim feels a little bad about it.

"I'll tell you if Tim gives-" Tim gives a thumbs up in Dick's direction. "Oh! Um! Okay, Okay, cool. So I only know what Tim and Barbara told me in the aftermath, but, um, the Joker and Harley Quinn kidnapped Tim. They tortured him for nearly a month to make him into "Joker Junior"."

"Di- HAHAHA- Didn't work! The Bitches! HAHAHA"

"It kinda sounds like it did-" Tim throws a fork at Jason without lifting his head. "Hey!!"

"Asshole. HAHaHa"

"Jason, stop antagonizing your brother." Bruce lightly scolds.

"Hey, Tim? Is there any way we can help?" Duke sounds like he moved a bit closer.

"N-Ha-no" Tim morosely says. "I HaHa just have to HaHaHa wait it out HaHa"

"Man, that must suck." Jason sounds genuinely apologetic.

"Tim, do you know what triggered this episode?" That Batman, not Bruce speaking, and Tim hates it. He throws a spoon at him. Demon Brat makes a squawk of offense, but Tim can't care.

"It's a valid question, Tim." Tim sits up just to glare at Dick.

"It was probably HaHa the fact I started hallucinating yesterday from HaHaHaHa lack of sleep. I haven't been HaHa able HaHa to sleep because I've been running a HaHa HaHa HaHa multi billion dollar company while working on cases for you, HaHa Jason, Bruce, and Barbara HaHaHa as well as 3 of my own cases. THEN, we can't HAHAHA can't even have ONE STUPID DINNER WITHOUT JASON WHINING HAHAHA ABOUT DEAR OL' PAPA JOKER!" Tim runs a hand through his messy hair, trying to self sooth. "I'm so fucking tired. Hahaha I'm just so tired.."

"Okay, okay, have you eaten enough?" Dick asks with a pained look on his face. Tim glances at his half eaten meal and decides it's good enough. He gives a nod, shoving himself to his feet.

"Yeah, haha I'm going to boil myself alive hahaha with a shower and going to bed. Hahaha Don't ask me for anything hahaha for at least 24."

He ignores them bursting into conversation, 100% about him, once he shuffles out. Cass slips out into the hall and catches up with him before he can even get to the stairs.

"Hug?"

"I would haha love a hug ha" Cass gives him a strong hug. It lasts a few minutes, which is abnormally long for a hug, but Tim loves it. It helps his nerves. "Thanks, haha Cass."

She simply smiles at him as she pulls away before pointing him up the stairs with a mock sternness. He giggles his real laugh between the Joker laughter and complies with the "demand".

He knows he'll regret his outburst after he's gotten some sleep, but for now, he doesn't care. He has an overdue date with his bed and he refuses to reschedule.

[rogue-durin-16]

HEAD-TO-HEAD (part XVIII/?)

Summary: Joe thought she was pretty. Had he just said that, things might have been different for them. Maybe they wouldn't have gone head-to-head at each other for three years like it was a contest.

Pairing: Joseph Liebgott x Reader

Genre: angst splattered with fluff/rivals to lovers

Tags:

Head-to-head: @derersketnoget @ladystardustfromarss @lanadelray1989 @chanshugsaretherapy @hoddystark @sxalbatf @jetjuliette @luvrottt @fromjupitertocentauri @ecompstolemysoul @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy @bitter-post-millennial @gotxpenny

Band Of Brothers: @fernando-jpg @chubbypotatoepie @tvserie-s-world @clumsy-wonderland @lordndsaviorwinters @lanadelray1989 @chanshugsaretherapy @hoddystark @gotxpenny

Permanent taglist: @randomparanoid @karlthecat15722 @thebutchersdaughtersblog @amourtentiaa @comfort-reads

Warnings: language, smoking, warfare, gore

A/N: I might or might not be MILDLY dtunk while finishing this part which is SUPER FUNNY considering the amount of time jumping we're about to go through in this chapter. Enjoy <3

Head-to-head masterlist

Band of Brothers masterlist

Rogue-durin-16 masterlist

The choir's soft harmonies filled the room with a kind of warmth we weren't used to. French lyrics carried a bittersweet weight that settled over what remained of Easy like a fragile truce. The candlelight flickered against the stone walls, casting shadows no one would want to stare at for too long.

Y/n sat one row before me, one knee brought up to her chest like she was still bracing for something. She absentmindedly hummed along, begging the music to tether her to reality.

We had lost so much to the Ardennes, and I couldn't help the awful feeling that we had lost her too—that she had left her soul buried in Muck and Penkala's foxhole.

I leaned forward on my forearms over the pews' backrest, right by her figure. She didn't notice. "You know the song?" I whispered, trying to start the conversation somewhere.

"Hm?" She looked to the side to meet my profile.

"The song."

"Oh." She shook her head no, pulling at her sleeves. "Just picked up on the melody."

I nodded, eyes casted down, giving up on the smalltalk faster than I had resolved on attempting it in the first place. Who was I kidding, really? It would've been easier to throw myself in front of a grenade.

"Penny for your thoughts?" She tried, dulled by the gory, deadly winter in a way that made my heart break.

"You did good yesterday." She spoke, as if she had read my mind.

A scoff. Barely there. "You'd need more than a penny."

The corner of her lips twitched into a grimace of discomfort. It wasn't even close to pity, I knew she would never do that to me, but it felt equally uncomfortable.

"Doesn't feel like I did."

"Doesn't matter how it feels." The woman insisted with the little resolve she had left. "You did."

"Yeah, well," I exhaled through my nose, shoving down the memory as soon as I felt it creep up, rotting in my chest. "Tell that to Hale."

Noville, One Day Earlier

The barn creaked under the weight of an ominous silence. We had six of them. Hands up, hollow-eyed, SS uniforms stiff with cold. One of them couldn't have grown a beard if he tried. They had surrendered easy the moment Hale and I ducked into the place for cover with nothing but adrenaline running through our veins.

"Watch 'em." Earl muttered, losing no time before stepping forward to pat them down, my M1 steadily aimed at the POWs, eyes bouncing from one pair of blank, sunken faces to the next.

The Sergeant didn't make it past the third man when it hit. An explosion. Close. Violent. The barn shook—beams above us shuddering, hay scattering. Dirt spat from the ground. Shrapnel digging through wood and flesh. Hale's flesh.

Movement ensued before I could clock it.

One of the prisoners slammed into the paratrooper with a flash of metal. The blur of a blade, soon stained with crimson; the same crimson seeping down Hale's neck.

"Fuck-" I moved before I thought.

Bang!

The German officer's skull snapped sideways, blood painting the straw.

Another Kraut reached for something—belt, boot, didn't matter, I couldn't afford finding out.

Bang. Bang. Bang—

I didn't stop until they were all down. Bodies jerking before going limp. The ringing in my ears faded just enough to hear —wet, gasping, Earl choking on his own blood. He clutched his neck, eyes wide.

"Shit—hold on, you hear me? hold on—MEDIC!" I dropped to my knees, hands clamping over the wound, pressure useless. Blood gushed, hot and slick, slipping between my fingers. "MEDIC! GODDAMNIT—ROE!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"He'll live." Y/n reminded me quietly, toying with the rusted buckle of one of her straps. She didn't get a reply from me, but I doubted she expected one in the first place.

We let the choir fill the silence for a little while, no words spoken between us for a change. She tried once, parting her lips in vain just to shut them again, drawing both knees to her chest instead, the muddy boots dirtying the pews.

The back of my index finger brushed the side of her shoulder, bringing her startled glance first to the gesture, then to me. "Still hurts?"

She rolled her shoulder subconsciously. "No, not really."

"Yeah?"

She seemed to reconsider her answer, scrunching up her nose before correcting herself. "It's bearable."

Foy, Three Days Earlier

READER'S P. O. V.

"I've been working on the railroad,"

"All the live long day!"

Someone had started singing for the damn camera rolling before us. The rest followed, like a group of idiots too high on relief to care how off-key we sounded, perched on top of some farmer's wagon like the war hadn't chewed us down to the bone.

"I've been working on the railroad," an arm draped over my shoulders, bringing me closer to the men I sang along with. "Just to pass the time aw—"

A bullet cut through the joy, straight into the chest of the man beside me. Then another one, not even a breath after, knocking down another soldier off the wagon.

"SNIPER!!"

Another shot.

"TAKE COVER!"

My boots, dangling, kicked Alley's back to make him duck. The next bullet grazed my cheek; a reminder that I was running out of time. I instinctively threw myself back and down to the hard ground. White-hot pain lanced through my shoulder as it wrenched back, the joint popping with a sickening crack. I rolled, teeth bared in a strangled gasp while the chaos wrapped us all in tragedy once again.

More shots. Ours, theirs. An arm hooked under my good one, dragging me off the frozen dirt and into the cover of a half-demolished shed.

Rushed, incautious hands patted my face, my arms, my torso, checking for something that wasn't there before I even realized who they belonged to.

"You got hit?!" Joe questioned without ceasing his task, both of our hearts pounding like war drums.

"It's the shoulder—"

"Where?!" Joe pulled at my coat, triggering a wince out of me. "Can't see—"

"Not shot." I denied with my head, clutching the limp arm to my chest "Shit- it's out."

At the statement, Joe's frantic movements slowed down, and so seemed to do the mayhem surrounding us. He breathed in, brows drawn and palms hovering as he assessed the situation.

"We gotta put it back."

"Do it." I didn't miss a beat, biting the inside of my cheek to stop my determination from faltering when he took a firm hold of the dislocated articulation.

"On three."

I nodded.

He didn't count, just pushed—sharp, quick, brutal. I bit back a scream, jolting forward ever so slightly when my shoulder popped back in, the rush of pain giving way to a slight tremor, making my upper body quiver against the cracked wall.

"You're fine." He assured, letting his touch linger a bit longer than necessary. I didn't call him out on it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You should've gone to the aid station." Joe kept his eyes on the choir, as if he wasn't really talking to me and he had just voiced an afterthought.

"I will."

"It's been three days, Y/n."

I sighed, staring past him when he decided to try and meet my eyes with that exhausted, nonsense look he had these days. "I'll go tomorrow. They're pulling us back anyway."

He didn't argue.

The song faded out, leaving only soft whispers of gratitude and the faint crackle of candlelight to fill the space as the nuns distributed whatever they could gather up to feed us—bread, some cheese, water; more than we had expected.

Joe waited until one of the Sisters handed us the improvised foodstuffs to speak again, tentative, pretending to take interest in something across from him.

"We should talk."

Right.

"I really don't feel like it." I muttered, picking at the piece of stale bread.

"You promised."

"I know," I felt his piercing eyes digging into my slouched figure. "Just— not now."

There was a beat of quiet; a pause.

I knew that pause. He was winding up, gathering breath, sharpening words like knives out of frustration or pique. Before he could let them fly, though, Ramirez shifted behind me.

"Let's go for a smoke." he pushed off the pew and patted Joe's arm. A cautionary gesture for his friend not to start anything in a damn church. "C'mon, Lieb."

He hesitated, just for an instant, considering whether or not having to explain whatever this was to Speirs out of everyone would be worth it.

He decided against it, following Ramirez outside, hissing something under his breath; unintelligible words I was glad not to catch.

JOE'S P. O. V.

The night was unsurprisingly colder outside, but I welcomed it. It made for a good excuse to why my hands were shaking. Ramirez lit my cigarette before lighting his own and leaned against the convent's stone wall, shoulder to shoulder with mine, letting the smoke sit in silence between us.

"Could sleep for a week." He muttered, his left thumb distractedly brushing a burn hole in his glove.

"No kidding." I answered, my eyes trained on the cobblestone path and my mind too far away from reality to notice the door creaking open again.

"Oh, shit." Ramirez cursed, tired, pushing himself off the wall.

The air seem to recoil when my gaze landed on Chuck. I could feel it tighten in my chest, in my jaw, in the grip I had on my cigarette.

"Fuckin'— Really?" I turned half-away, shifting my weight, not able to tell if I was about to bolt or pull something that would get us both court-martialled.

Ramirez glanced at both of us once, then wordlessly tossed his cigarette, grinding it out under his boot. "You two need a damn priest." He announced dryly and, without waiting for a response, rushed back in.

I didn't have time to go after him.

"Can we talk?"

Grant stood a few feet away, hands jammed in his jacket pockets, like he was testing the ground before each step. I couldn't help but notice his nose was now slightly crooked, nor the faintest shadow of what had been a bad bruise still adorning his jaw.

"Doesn't look like I got a fuckin' choice."

He hesitated, then took a step closer, leaving enough space for me not to feel caged— to stop me from recoiling and lashing out like a wounded animal.

"You been dodging me." He laid it out for me flat and simple, making it impossible for me to even entertain the option of deflecting.

"Good catch." I took a drag, clenching and unclenching my free fist to get rid of the restlessness. "Always knew you were sharp."

"I'm sorry," he started, not willing to relent despite my hostility. "for what happened."

I scoffed, lacking any trace of humor. "That all?"

"Look, I should've said something sooner—"

"Yeah," I cut in, trying to speed up a conversation I wasn't ready for just yet, but that was happening nevertheless. "You should've said something, 'cause you're supposed to be my fucking friend."

Something about what I said —or how I said it—, ticked him, and I watched in real time how Chuck pondered if I deserved patience in the first place.

"I keep something to myself and you try to knock my teeth out?"

I pulled a moue with a shrug. "Maybe I should've aimed better."

"Are you shitting me?"

"You know what's fucked? That you" I snapped, pointing the half smoked cigarette at him. "knew. That we went through this shit already. And you clearly didn't give a damn."

He took another step closer, trying to bridge the distance I was putting between us. "That's not fair. I do give—"

"Fuck you."

Fort Benning, Two Years Earlier

"You're gonna keep pretending I don't exist, or…?" Grant's voice drifted over like he'd been standing there a while.

My boots on the step below, elbows to my knees, cigarette burning low in my fingers—I stared at the gravel, jaw tight, chest tighter.

"Joe, c'mon, it's been a week."

Cigarette smoke floated in lazy spirals above the bleachers outside the barracks. A couple guys tossed a football around before us. I wasn't looking at them, and I surely wasn't looking at the man standing at my left either.

I felt him sit down beside me, not too close. "Can you at least look at me?"

I took a slow drag and blew it out through my nose, silently shutting down his request. Grant rubbed the back of his neck.

"I don't get why you're so worked up about me kissing—"

"Because I wanted to, alright?" I finally turned to face him, a bit bitter, a bit hurt. "I was going to. Maybe. Try to, at least." I exhaled through my nose, searching for something to focus on other than the funny feeling twisting my guts. "Doesn't matter anyway, 'cause you beat me to it. Didn't have to try too hard either."

The silence that followed was deafening. Chuck didn't say anything for a second. He took the time to turn the words over in his head like they couldn't possibly mean what they sounded like.

"You never said anything."

"Didn't fucking feel like I needed to." I flicked the ashes off cigarette.

Chuck shifted beside me, the wood creaking beneath his weight. "I didn't know."

I scoffed. "That's bullshit." My voice wasn't loud, but it didn't need to be in order to cut like a blade. "So don't act like I'm pissed off for fun, okay? You know what you did. Everyone in that room knew what you did. At least own up to it."

Chuck froze, caught between blinking and breathing. I tossed the cigarette to the ground and stood up. I could have said more, but it seemed uncalled for, so I simply walked off to someplace else— anywhere but sitting with him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chuck didn't say anything right away. He just stood there, shoulders drawn up like he thought I might take a swing again.

I took a step back for safe measure, staring off at the town engulfed in darkness and ruin.

"I didn't mean for it to go that way," he tried, repentance plastered all over his nuanced apology. "You know that."

I didn't answer.

"I wasn't trying to… I don't know," he pulled his coat tighter around him while he dug for the right words. "steal something from you."

Not the right words.

I almost flinched at his sentence. Steal. As if she was mine to begin with. "That what you think this is?"

He scratched at his temple, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. "I crossed a line, I get that."

"Good to know."

Chuck sighed, nearing desperation at my blasé attitude. "It's not like I'm in love with her, Joe."

In love. I squinted my eyes at my friend feeling the knot in my throat tighten, the slightest feeling of uneasiness installing itself in my chest. "Who said shit about love?"

"I did." He doubled down, softer than I was comfortable with.

"You feel something for her?" I blurted out before I could stop myself. I barely had time to brace for his reply.

"Not like you do."

That landed harder than I'd ever admit out loud. I breathed out, trying to placate the nausea I was beginning to feel.

"You think she feels something for you?" I was thinking out loud, too in my head to process the door I had just opened, too scared to know the answer.

Silence followed. Vacillation. I furrowed at Grant. By the time he did open his mouth, I had made up my mind.

"Forget it."

"Joe—"

"Doesn't matter." I cut him off, flicking the rest of my cigarette to the snow-covered ground. "Got bigger shit to worry about." I crushed the stub beneath my boot, harsher than necessary and left him standing there, blinking like he'd just watched something slip further than he meant it to.

Maybe he had. Maybe we all had.

[tinfoil-jones]

Jerk Ford AU: And This is Jack*ss

Their high school science teacher said "A perpetual motion machine is only hypothetical, because it is impossible, since its existence would violate the first and second laws of thermodynamics."

And Jerk Ford in response said "Hold my beer."

[Art by: @tearosepedall]

While he was building that (and the school was investigating whether or not Ford was actually drinking underaged), Stan had another set of worries.

At this point the twins had both already talked about applying to Backupsmore together, and while Stan was still worried about a potential separation, this time it wasn't because he was afraid of being left behind.

This time he was freaking out because if he went to Backupsmore while his brother went to West Coast Tech, who was going to keep Ford reigned in??

If Stan wasn't there to minimize the damage, who's to say his fellow students and college administration wouldn't chase him out of the whole state with pitchforks and torches or something?!

Stan wasn't protective over Ford in this AU because he didn't need to be protected from anything except maybe himself. If anything, everything else needed to be protected from him.

---

In a random dimension at an undetermined time between the 1980s and 2012, Jerk Ford and one of the many variations of Rick Sanchez pass each other on the street.

"What a d**k." They both think at the same time, but say nothing.

---

This is the same man who, despite also being aromantic, spent an entire year pretending to court an all-seeing, two-dimensional, demon triangle.

Jerk Ford had romantic speeches, lovey-dovey praises, drew detailed, flattering sketches, and built a functioning interdimensional portal that he wasn't intending to use.

Just to say that he catfished a God.

The limit to his jackassery remains to be seen.

---

Most interactions with other people on an informal level (and also formal) are handled by Stan on Fords behalf, otherwise nothing would ever get done.

Stanley had to actually beg Fiddleford to help Stanford with the portal project. Fiddleford and Ford are friends, but Fiddleford can only handle Ford for so long before he's absolutely done.

As for the construction of the cabin... a paid job is a paid job, but anything that required direct interaction was solely taken care of by Stan, or Ford as long as Stan was close by to mediate. Because the one time Boyish Dan tried discussing plans with Ford alone, it ended with Boyish Dan agreeing with construction plans only if Ford agreed to take the farthest available plot of land.

---

Yes, I am familiar with Nine Lives Lee selling his own hate merch. But no, Jerk Ford does not make, distribute, or sell his own hate merch. He was never an enterprising spirit.

However, he does steal his own hate merch. He's done it the times he snuck into their club meetings. The shirt he wears under his hoodie is actually a Ford Hate Club shirt; it's a long sleeved black shirt with this logo on the front:

That is The (Jerk) Ford Hate Club official logo, because they don't hate all Stanford Pines across that multiverse, just that guy in particular.

---

Jerk Ford's antics are often compared to skits from the tv and film series "Jackass", in fact the name of his dimension "PJC311" is derived from the host Johnny Knoxville, whose real name is Philip John Clapp, and whose birthday is 1971/03/11.

The funny, ironic thing, is that this is what older Knoxville looks like:

Considering that Jerk Ford is thin compared to Canon Ford...

Yeah, that's Jerk Ford guys.

[strawberrypoundtown]

Orc x Halforc!Fem!Reader: Part 2

After returning to your tent, you attempt to sneak off to let off some steam. However, you get caught quickly and things escalate from there...

Contains: pregnancy risk, breeding kink, chasing, wrestling, pinning, physical restraining, degradation, spanking, biting

'Fuck, shit, god I can't do this. I have to think of something.'

You were more than a little embarrassed and flustered as you laid in your bed, pretending to be asleep. After finding out Gan was going to be the one watching over you, you had no idea what to think. You tried to play off your short circuit brain and after some small talk excusedyourself to go lay down, saying you had a headache. How were you supposed to find a mate when Gan is the one watching over you? Whenever he was around, you were a puddle. You couldn't think of any person you wanted as your mate other than him. He was the best option, surely. Your brother may not be keen on the idea, but the rest of your family would think he would be the best option for you.

The only issue was that you didn't know if he would even hope to feel the same way about you. He always treated you with nothing but respect and kindness, but something about it felt much more withdrawn compared to when he would act similarly with other females in the clan. He would seem to be more playful, flirty even. He was already almost 26, just a couple years older than you. He never seemed to want anything serious from what you had heard. Oh no. Maybe he only saw you as a sister? Maybe he just wasn't the type to want a mate?

You rolled onto your back and let out a sigh. You needed to let off some steam. You had to get out of here. You rubbed your eyes before carefully sitting up. Gan was right outside your tent. He at least let you have that much privacy, but it was almost worse that he was right there. You wanted him to walk in and take you already. You wanted his strong hands to hold you down and give you his big, hard cock. You wanted him to fill you with his cum. To make you all his. That would definitely help you relax.

A gruff cough outside your tent broke you out of your horny daze, bringing you back to reality. You had to think of a way to get out of here. You needed to get away from Gan without him knowing. You can't think straight with him right there.

You could sneak out from behind your tent easily. You had a flap on your tent behind a chest, but someone might see you run off. You had to peak and see if anyone was there first, but Gan might hear you moving things and wonder what's going on. You sat on the edge of your bed as you pondered your options. You got up and snatched a smaller letter opener from your desk. You walk over to the chest and carefully using the sharp end to cut a small slit in the tent, just big enough to peak through.

You mentally pat yourself on the back for your creativity. You could sew it up if anyone noticed it anyways. At least that was one issue solved. You take a quick look out the small hole and didn't see anyone. Perfect. Time to try and move the chest in front of the escape spot as quietly as possible.

"(Y/n)?" You heard from outside your tent just ss you were about to stsrt moving the chest. The from entrance, thankfully. It was Gan. You loved it when he said your name. You sighed and figured it would be better to walk over the entrance. Maybe you could get him distracted with something else.

"Yes Gan?" You say as you opened the flaps of your tent, closing them behind you as you stepped out and stared up at Gan. He stared down at you and rolled his eyes.

"I was just going to ask how you were feeling. Were you thinking of going on a walk?" He said with a bit more sass in his voice than you were comfortable with. However, you face remained unfazed as you rolled your eyes yourself.

"No. I was actually going to ask if you could get me an apple. I'm a bit hungry and forgot to grab anything earlier." You asked him, genuinely a bit hungry, but you could easily find food outside of camp. You knew where the apple trees were. "Please?" You said, with a small pout. How could he say no to that face?

"Fine. Just don't go anywhere." He grumbled after a long pause. He avoided your gaze as he walked off towards the food tent. Now with Gan out of the way, you could slip out the back without anyone noticing. I mean, Gan would notice when he got back, but what was he gonna do? Tell your parents?

You quickly went back inside your tent, moving the chest out of the way before quickly peaking through the hole again. After making sure the path was clear, you lifted the flap and started to move through it. However, fate was not on your side.

"Hey (Y/n), I'm back with your app-" Gan freezes as he walks through the entrance of your tent, thrown off at first when he sees you halfway through a random hole in your tent. "What the-" you don't give him enough time to react, diving through the hole and bolting to the forrest. The advantage of being a bit smaller is that you were quick on your feet. "Ah fuck!" He yells in frustration, needing to go the long way around the tent.

You were already just a blurr in the distance by the time he got around the tent, but he could still see you. He chuckles to himself and takes off his armor and weapons, leaving them against your tent before running after you. He might not have been fast, but he was more known for his endurance... in more ways than one. He'd catch up to you eventually.

You were running as fast as you could, dodging and weaving between the trees. You were hoping you were losing him, but everytime you looked back, you kept seeing him in the distance. Why was he chasing you? He was always able to keep a pretty good pace with you, but in that moment you kinda hated him for it. Or did you love it? He could catch you so easily. Maybe he would claim you as his once he catches you. Or maybe he'd punish you? You couldn't tell which idea excited you more, but you couldn't focus on that right now!

You nearly trip on a tree root, jumping out of the way so you miss it, but not realizing the hill drop next to you. You yelp and stumble a bit, nearly falling, but you manage to catch yourself on a tree and pull yourself back. You use the second to catch your breath and stabilize yourself. You're about to start running again when you don't hear anyone behind you anymore... or see anyone for that matter. There was no way you lost hik that easily

For such a large man, he had managed to hide himself easily in the dense trees, his dark green skin helping him blend into the scenery as he moved between the foliage. He didn't understand why his heart was racing so much. Or why he felt himself getting excited as he got closer to catching you. He wanted to catch you and claim you. He wanted to make sure no other man would dare look at his mate. He wanted you as his mate. His one and only. He just had no clue how to do that. Maybe chasing you and getting you alone would help...

His footsteps quickened as he had heard you yelp, so he was fairly close to you, but he didn't see the edge of the hill. As your back was turned, he decided that tackling you would be the best way to capture you.

"Found you." He growled ominously before jumping out from around a tree. You screamed out and tried to dodge, but the attempt was futile. His arms wrapped around you, pulling you close to him as he waited for you guys to hit solid ground. But he quickly realized that he had made a mistake as you both started to tumble down the large hill. He had managed to keep you mostly protected throughout the fall, but had hit a tree and lost his grip on you, sending you tumbling your own way down the hill. You both landed at the bottom with a soft thud

He groaned in pain as he sat up, rubbing his head. He checked his body quickly, and other than a few scratches, he was fine. He looked around for you a bit panicked. He didn't know how far away you could have gotten. Thankfully, he spotted you only a few feet away, but noticed you were laying motionless on the ground. His blood ran cold as he rushed to your side, fearing the worst.

"Oh my god, (Y/n)!" He shouts as he turns you onto your back, only to be met by a swift, solid punch to his jaw from below. He groans in pain and turns away from you. After delivering the punch, you quickly get up and jump on his shoulders. You clamp your legs around his neck in a firm hold, causing him to fall backwards as he grabs at your thighs. It was like you were trying to kill him, but not because of lack of oxygen. If he didn't get out from between your thighs soon, he wouldn't be able to get away.

"Why were you following me?!" You yelled, not letting up on your grip. He could still breathe, but barely. He kept struggling, trying to get away from you before he got an erection. He had never had you do this to him like this before and he was enjoying it way more than he should. However, his struggling was causing his head to rub against your pussy through your clothes. You tighten your grip with your legs to try and get him to stop moving. "S-stop making this difficult and tell me why you followed me!" You yelled at him, letting out a soft sigh under your breath as he finally stopped struggling. You lightened your grip slightly to let him answer.

"I-I... don't... know... I... wanted... to.." He still struggled to speak because of her thighs, but she heard him. She let go of him, leaving him laying on the ground as he struggled to catch his breath. "I... didn't want you... to be alone out here..." He added between breaths, finally able to breathe normally for a few moments. However, he quickly couldn't breathe again as you jumped on his neck, your legs wrapping around his head once again, but from the front this time.

"I can take care of myself!" You yelled in frustration, your legs tight around his head, his face buried against your clothed pussy. He didn't dare move or breathe this time, hyper aware of every muscle in his body. You didn't think about what you did until after it was already done. You felt your core getting hot as you felt his tusks against your inner thighs, your face heating up. This felt like some sort of weird dream. Why did you do that?

He had to think of a way out of this before he passed out. His heart raced as he struggled to breathe once again, trying to get away from the sweet smell you just smothered him with. His erection grew and he was thankful you were facing away from it at least. Your pussy right in front of his face was all he could think about. He wanted to just rip your clothes off and make you ride his face, but it took all his willpower not to.

Instead, he wraps his arms around your thighs, keeping you in place with an iron like grip before swiftly turning, rolling the two of you so he was on his stomach. You had thought about this position too, but you were broken out of your thoughts as he quickly hoisted you up. He jumped up himself, your legs still around his head as he smacked you on a large smooth boulder. He was finally able to use his leverage to get out of your hold, gasping for air as he stood and braced himself on the boulder.

As he stood you finally saw it. His massive hard on was visible through his pants. He was huge. You knew he was big, but you weren't even sure if he was fully hard yet. He got that hard from all of that? You felt yourself getting even hotter and you were unable to close your legs yet. He had his hands firmly planted between your legs, keeping them spread open. He had to have known how you were feeling right now, right? He had to smell it when he was down there...

"What was that for?!" He shouts before groaning, reaching up with one hand to rub his jaw after the beating gave it. He looked down at your spread legs and stepped between them fully. He could see the wet spot between your legs and sighed deeply. He didn't think he'ddo this so quickly after being put in charge of taking care of you...

"Are you trying to kill me? Fucking brat..." He growls as he stares down at you, his arms pinning you under him as he leans over you. The sun shines through the trees and gives you both a beautiful glow. It really did feel like a dream, and both of you would agree. He just stared into your beautiful (e/c) eyes, only looking away to look down at your lips. Your faces were only a few inches away from each other's as you stared back at him. It looked like he was conflicted. Maybe you needed to encourage him a little?

You couldn't help yourself. You slowly reached your hands up and touched his chest gently. He was so warm and sweaty, and after the fall, dirty. You ran your hands up the sides of his neck and gently held his face. You felt him lean into your hands as he closed his eyes and sighed. You used your thumbs to gently caress his large tusks as he melted into your touch even further. You couldn't help but smile and giggle to yourself a little.

"I'd never thought the might Gan would be such a helpless little baby when it comes to being held." You snickered a little, his eyes shooting open before glaring at you. You gave him an evil smile before hooking your fingers on his tusks and tugging them towards you. He let out a groan in response before the look in his eyes turns into something more evil. He suddenly grabs both your wrists with one hand and pins them above your head

"You think that's funny? You fucking tease..." He growls at you. You haven't seen him like this before. You kinda like it. Without a word, he takes one of his hands and cups it under your head, lifting your head to meet his in a rough and passionate kiss. Your bodies rubbed together as he held you down and made out with you, not wanting to let you go Your tusks rubbed together as he loosened his grip on your wrists, pulling away slightly. Seizing the opportunity, you wrap your arms around his neck and brought your lips back to his. You'd been waiting too long for a chance like this. Your legs wrap around his waist as you press your body into his, scratching his back as you let out soft breathy moans whenever your lips manage to part for a moment.

He stumbles backwards a bit in surprise, his hands immediately grabbing your ass as he keeps you held close to him. He may not have expected this reaction, but he won't complain. He moans with you as he continues to kiss you, but slowly moves his hands up your body towards your shoulders.

As you start to grind your hips against him, he pushes you back onto the rock, your arms releasing, but your legs still locked firmly in place around his waist. Your back was arched as he pinned your shoulders. Both of you were panting from the kiss, both your lips puffy and almost raw. He has a moment of clarity and wants to make sure this isn't to try and trick him into not telling anyone about this.

"What's going on with you? You've been off since I was assigned to you. You've never given a guard this much trouble when you get caught outside camp. Why me?" He asked, determined for answers. Did you hate him that much that you wanted to run away? He was so confused as to why you were kissing him then.

"Because I want you..." You mumbled, bashful as you turned your head away from him. You let go of your grip around his waist with your

"What?" He asked, a bit thrown off by your answer.

"I want you! I have no interest in anyone else in the clan. I know you may not exactly feel the same way, but I needed to get away from you to even have a chance of finding someone else. I can't think of anyone but you when you're around..." You admit, sheepishly. Your face flushes and you avoid looking him in the eyes. "I just want you as my mate... if you'll have me."

He was staring at you dumbstruck as he tried to replay what he just heard in his head. Did you just confess? His head spun as he tried to find the words to speak, to reciprocate how you feel, but decided that actions would speak louder than words. His hands moved down to your hips and pulled you to the edge of the boulder. You were about to ask what he was doing, but he interrupted you by pulling your shorts up and exposing your ass for him. You didn't have time to react before he delivered a swift smack to your ass, earning a squeal from you.

"You had to take the moment didn't you? Spoilt brat. I wanted to ask you properly after showing you I can protect you. Couldn't even let me try and be a gentleman for you..." He said lowly, making your heart race as you froze and starred up at him. You didn't think you'd actually get this for, so you weren't sure how to react to any of this. All you knew was that you wanted him to keep going.

Another slap sounded on your other asscheek as he pushed your knees back against your chest. He directed your arms to wrap around your knees as he crouched down in front of your exposed pussy. His hot breath against your sensitive clit gave you goosebumps. He took a moment to appreciate the sight of you before he finally dove in, giving your pussy long, slow licks from your entrance to your clit. You moan out and squeeze your legs closer to you as you let him do what he wants. He toys with you like that for a while before using his mouth to focus on your clit.

One of his hands migrate to your pussy, one of his large fingers sliding into you and curling against your g-spot gently. You arch your back as you let out another moan, but cut it off by biting your lip. His free hand slaps your ass again as he continues to lap at your clit with his tongue and finger your pussy. His hand stays on your ass and gropes the soft flesh as his tusks rub and scratch against the back of your thighs.

You pussy trembled as you tried your best not to squirm. As much as his hand was nice, you wanted to cum on his dick. You wanted him to fill you up and give you his little orcling. Now that you knew he felt the same, your whole body felt hot. His hands in and on your body felt like fire.

"Fuck..." He stopped suddenly and pulled away, taking off your shorts completely and quickly taking his own clothes off as you slowly let go of your legs and spread them. "You're so fucking sexy. I can't believe you're so willing to be my cum slut already..." He held his cock and rubbed it against your pussy. He was worried about hurting you, but after your pussy juices coated his cock after only ruling against you for a few moments, he decided to just go ahead.

You were eager for him to finally thrust into you. Even just his warm cock rubbing along your pussy lips and clit was making you feral. You'd jump on him soon if he didn't get a move on.

He lines up his cock carefully with your slick hole before easing his cock into you. You both moan loudly as your pussy strains slightly to take him in the best way. Your arousal only increased, making it easier for him to get more of his cock into you by the second. When he's about halfway into your pussy, you're already nearly completely full and he pauses.

"W-why are you stopping?" You whimper, not wanting him to hold back. He gives you a wicked grin before grabbing your hips and lifting you. He flips you over onto your stomach while you're still half on his dick. The sensation made your body quiver in pleasure before you turn your head to look back at him. He leans over your body and braces himself on his elbows over you, one of his forearms positioned under your head for you to rest on.

"I wanna fuck you like the bitch you keep acting like. Maybe then my dirty slut will calm down and be a good girl for me." Gan groans in your ear before thrusting the last of his cock into you without warning. You screamed out a moan out of shock, biting down on his arm as your eyes rolled back for a moment. Your tight pussy quivered around his cock as he shuddered from the sensation of having your warm, wet pussy around him. He could live like that, minus your teeth, but his hips start to move on their own as he moans in your ear.

"F-fuck, you're so tight... you're gonna milk my cock and give me a kid... everyone is gonna know you're all mine soon." He said breathlessly. As much as he was trying to act tough, his heart was melting as he fucked your brain out. His thrusts got faster and rougher as he listened to you moan through your bite on his arm with every thrust.

You tried to thrust your hips back against his with each thrust, but there wasn't much you could do when your whole body was pinned down. You felt your climax building quickly as Gan finds his pace, rubbing perfectly against your g-spot and hitting your cervix in a way that made you feel dizzy. His large, full balls kept slapping your clit with each thrust. Your jaw slacked as you released your bite, moaning even louder.

"There we go. Good girl. You're gonna behave for me, right? You gonna cum for me? I want my slut to cum on my cock and milk me..." He grumts, you only able to weakly nod your head as he just kept fucking your pussy until you exploded. Your pussy squeezed his cock so hard he couldn't move for a moment and you screamed. Your orgasm felt like you got hit by lightning, but he just keeps fucking you. Your pussy shuddered around his cock as you keep cumming, each thrust making you more overstimulated than the last.

"Fuck yes. I'm gonna cum too, princess. Take it all, please." Thankfully, he doesn't last much longer than you. His thrusts get faster but more sloppy as he chases his orgasm. He moans and groans as you whimper and lick the bite mark you left on his arm. The sight makes him groan as he thrusts inside you one last time, burying his cock deep in your pussy as he cums. You finally stsrt to come down from your orgasm with a loud sigh. You feel his warm cum fill you, but whine as you feel some of it start to drip down your legs.

He was still so hard. He rocks his hips gently against yours as you moan. Your poor sensitive pussy kept being bullied and you loved it. He kisses your shoulder gently and sighs.

"I love you, (Y/n)... I'd love to be your mate..." He whispers in your ear as he wraps his arms around you, hugging you tenderly.

"I can tell..." You giggled breathlessly. Although you were exhausted, you didn't loose your sense of humor. "I love you too..." You whispered before turning your head and kissing him on the cheek. Due to how hard he was, and how he seemed to already be ready to go again, you two were going to be there for a long time...

[cherryinsalemverse]

Thinking about Jason Todd/Reader Soulmate AUs!!

Feel free to use them if you like any (I meant the writters! Not you AI using lazy *ss bushes!!) Tag me if you write it bc I'm gonna be reading them!!

Jason Todd and Reader meets on their dreams. Well, kinda 'dreams'. He is dead and she forgets everytime bc you are not allowed to see the afterlife as a person. He comes back and doesn't know who she is and why he knows her.

Jason Todd and Reader are tied by the red string of fate. Reader gains the ability to see/touch the red string and yanks Jason from the after life. She can use it to tie people for a short time. People think it is magic! She can tie people with invisible strings!! Actually it is just reader using their fate against them! The strings are only physical when she touches them. It would be funny if she is not a hero/vigilante but Justice League asks them for help anyway! *coughs* let's bring back Wally *coughs*

Jason Todd and Reader can only sleep together. They don't need to be next to each other, one simply cannot go to sleep if the other is awake! A good enemies to lovers blooming. How so? Well, Reader is definetly going to go join a anti-batfam villian team! People who are really mad at not being able to sleep! They want to sleep so bad that they even considered killing their soulmates!! *gasps* Not really, but they just want to fall asleep at night like a normal person. Not in the middle of a lesson nor not while working your 9 to 5!! A team of people who terrories the city with sleeping gas and robbing pillow companies to give everyone a soft pillow!!(Bernard is here ofc) Don't ask why they don't just gases themselves. They didn't think about it.

Jason and Reader in a universe where you can only grow with your soulmate. You are 15 y/o, FOR YEARS. Everyone thinks you are just petite; young looking *insert turkish 'minyon' here* Well, explain to your coworkes/parents/friends why the hell you grew up in one day! From A to a D!! And no one in your family even has the genetics!! You can thank to the lazarus pit for all the strach marks later for sure.

Jason and Reader lock eyes for the first time and sees the life of each other. Jason sees the future, their children; their love and devotion; the life he thinks is so good to be true. Reader sees the past; the street life; dying; gaining a family just to lose it again. Both are scared to be together yet only they understand eachother.

Jason and Reader switching bodies in the most inopportune times. Jason dies?? WRONG!! It was the Reader! The first time they switch bodies she dies in it! Jason has to go all the way to the Gotham to talk with Bruce. It takes YEARS! Years of him thinking he killed his soulmate and feeling guilty of it! So guilty that he can't let her family find out! *he lives as Reader till collage* Well meanwhile Reader is trying to survive. Panics so hard she doesn't even speak *looking at you YJ Jason* and takes care of her baby brother Damian. Jason becomes Red Hood not only to avange himself but avange Reader as well. And she just goes after Damian to meet with the rest of the family. ''Your son? Oh, yeah, well. We switched bodies years ago'' *they switch bodies back once they meet*

[signedkoko]

hello, good afternoon/night!

I was wondering if you could do a vox x character (?) oneshot where the other person has royal status (something similar to stolas).

I’m interested to see if vox would change his attitude if he was interacting with someone above him, or if he would act the same as usual.

either way, I hope this makes sense and thank you so much!

Vox X Reader [Romantic]

In which you are apart of the ars goetia family, and Vox doesn't know much about royalty. Reader is genderneutral.

Being one of the 72 members of the family didn't feel special from your point of view; you were royalty, yes, but what that actually meant was beyond you

Nevertheless, you were representative of innovation, and your role as an 'aristocrat' was quite literally the most dull of all: an archivist

Your role was to document, file, or archive every piece of information that has ever existed or will exist, and to protect it all in your library

You were a vast network of knowledge, not too different from a computer

That was where you and Vox became so similar, he was certainly an impressive overlord worth meeting.

You found yourself archiving logs upon logs of his creations, of his ad campaigns, of his scandals; he was always up to something

It piqued your interest, so you were sure to note the next time you were in proximity so you could meet him

Vox didn't give two shits about royalty, but what he did care about were the opportunities it presented

It was worth being nice to them and biting your tongue, and in all honesty, he wasn't much of a hot head when it came to people he didn't know

He had files on every member of the Ars Goetia, including yours, and he'd developed a bit of a 'celebrity' crush

You seemed so like him, but he knew pictures could only say so much about a person and moved on

Both of you knew the other would be at the same event, and like magnets, you came straight to one another

Vox used his television charm to lure you in, and just like you'd hoped, it worked

He is extremely nervous around royalty because, truth be told, they really are far more powerful than he or any other overlord

Not to say he doubts himself, but he understands his limits

And being technology itself, he also knows that your ability nearly pales his technology—computers are without a doubt more capable of storing information and processing it than any human or demon ever could, but you were beyond that

That is to say, he is extremely impressed with you and asks a lot about your ability, almost hoping it'll reveal some kind of trick he could use too

Unfortunately, no tricks, but he does find you to be just as kind as he'd imagined

Ars Goetia is extremely strict about the relationships they have, but fortunately for you, you knew every rule and loophole there was to know and managed to get by with 'one of hell's strongest overlords'

He is very adaptive to rules and customs, so it's no issue impressing your family with his seemingly infinite skills

" I didn't know you knew all that, Vox. "

" Yeah! You know, I didn't either! "

He absolutely goes autopilot a lot around other royals because he does not want to cause you any trouble, but you always tell him to relax and let him know you'd never let them get in the way

The hardest decision is who is moving, and when you eventually offer to abandon your lavish lifestyle for his minimalistic city style, he does whatever he can to help you adapt.

Really, you are his prince(ss), and he will treat you like the royalty you are

" So, does this make me a prince now? "

" Are you proposing? "

One of his favourite perks is that now he can really stick it to Alastor

Not that he would ever intend on putting you in danger—even if you'd win—but let's be honest

You would win against that stupid radio demon

Oh yeah, he's proud of that too

Author's Note - I ended up doing headcanons because I felt the prompt didn't have enough for me to go off of, I apologize for disappointing!~ Even so, I hope this still catches your interest 🖤

[bahngarang]

chapter 0.0 ☆ end of beginning

ss: 11

wc: 469 (nice)

cw: mentions of + jokes about car accidents, mentions of comas, medical inaccuracies probably, angst, graphic description of pain? idk i'm just writing what a flare-up feels like to me

the main thing yn felt was pain. pain in her knee, pain in her jaw, and pain everywhere else. the meds barely took the edge off.

thankfully, her parents had managed to get her a private room, so yn didn't have to listen to other people, but in a way it made this whole thing worse. maybe it would have been a little better if she didn't feel so alone in her grievances.

she just wanted to sleep, to get away from reality for a little bit – but being away from home, in hospital of all places wasn't helping. the weird, bleach-y smell lingered in her nose, and the irregular beeping of her vitals was drilling a hole into her skull. not even holding the pathetic excuse for a pillow over her ears drowned it out. it was too uncomfortable a position anyway, especially since yn could only lay on her back so she didn't put pressure on her knee, or her jaw, or the many other injuries she'd sustained from the crash. the restlessness gradually seeping into her bones didn't help anything either, and yn knew it would only get worse over the months she'd need to heal.

at first, yn hadn't realised why she'd woken up in hospital, to a jaw wired shut, and a leg brace, and pain burning up her insides.

and then, she remembered.

crossing the road, alone, in the dark. the screeching of the tires as the car rounded the corner. standing, frozen, like a deer in headlights, and the blinding pain that spread like lightning through her body as she hit the ground, before blacking out.

due to some cruel twist of fate, she'd woken from her coma on what would have been her day off from training. all in all, not the most innocuous of days, but it meant that chan was there. him and his little, worried face, wasting his time on her. although, yn supposed it was better that she'd woken up then, so that he didn't have to spend the whole time just watching her, unconscious. and, well, it was nice having a friend around during the panic of the first moments of wakefulness.

but now, she was alone again. nothing to do but try desperately not to think about the accident, or the pain, or chan's little, worried face… it didn't really leave much. and those things were pretty hard not to think about when it felt like the images kept resurfacing in her head in a constant loop, a grim picture book, over and over – and the pain, a cloying caramel clogging up her insides and sinking its claws into her body, flames blazing.

yn just wanted sleep. but tonight, sleep was not her friend. and, to her reckoning, it wouldn't be for a long while.

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[moriitis]

HOLYYY SHEET

YOU'RE THE AUTHOR OF BLOODLUST? THAT ONE OF MY FAVORITE DARK TOBY FIC!! MY FAVORITE PART WAS HIM KISSING US THROUGH THE FABRIC. (IDK WHY THAT WOKE SOMETHING INSIDE ME) MAYBE WRITE SOMETHING SIMILAR THAT-😈😈😈😈

yes, it is i. hheehe thank you! you ask, i write.

Toby Rogers x Fem!Reader. Short.

Wordcount; 1.1k.

Content/Warnings; mentions of non-con, blood, non-consensual kissing, hyperventilating, feelings of suffocation.

Those kidnappings you read on the news happened frequently, too frequent and you felt uncomfortable knowing that these people were winding up dead. Everyone was on their toes, your mayor even enforcing a curfew to ensure the safety of his citizens. It was a good idea, at least it was; the number count continuing to pile up. Your Mom begged you to come home, to stay with them until things simmered down but you knew you were more than capable of looking after yourself. You ensured your doors and windows were locked, there was a handgun in the bedside table and your landlord made sure to tighten security for the coming weeks. Despite the fear, the panic - you knew that this wouldn't happen to you. You read this shit a lot, people got murdered every day and never once did you think that this would happen to you? Why would it?

Well, that was your mindset, a shitty mindset to have as you struggled against the grip on your wrists. You were unsure what had happened, one moment you were in bed, the next you were fighting a figure much larger and more muscular than you. You tried to fight, to scream, but his trained hands knew how to shut you up within minutes. There was a throb in your head, a throb that pulsated around your skull and squeezing your brain in a deadly grip. You had no idea where you were because when you awoke, you were enveloped in complete darkness. Wiggling around, you tried to get a feel of your surroundings. Your wrists and ankles were tied by what felt like duct tape and there was a hood over your head, a blanket of some sorts that made the small space around your head suffocating. It didn't help that now you were panicking as you tried to steady your breathing, as you tried to figure out what to do. A part of you was convinced you were already dead, that this was the afterlife and it was cruel and unwelcoming but the blood that tainted your forehead felt real enough. You were certain it were blood, as it had that metallic taste and smell to it and the pain was becoming unbearable.

With a grunt you shuffled, trying to rip the duct tape or wiggle free but it was useless. There was a chair beneath you and suddenly a light flicked on, alerting you and causing you to freeze. With your sight stripped from you, you focused on using your ears as aid. There was a shuffle a couple feet in front of you, it approached you, walked around you and then stopped in front of you again. Despite the urge to remain still, you were shaking and a part of you feared that you might even piss yourself; not that it was that big of a deal in this moment.

"Now, I know you're ss-scared-" the voice started, it was gruff and it seemed the person was struggling to form words as there was a motion before you. Your chest heaved up and down, desperate for some fresh air and to be home; under the warmth of your blankets. You were on the brink of hyperventilation as you tried to remain calm. The voice continued; "I get it. So, f-fforgive me." This male voice did not sound apologetic, smug perhaps and suddenly you felt some hands atop your knees. They were gloved, leather? They squeezed the flesh of your thigh, making you feel nauseous at the touch. The gloves were cold, making you shiver at the touch as you whimpered softly. You wanted to speak, to scream even but you only remained silent as you prayed to whatever God there was that you made it out of here alive.

Suddenly one of the gloved hands moved, his weight distributing to the other hand on your knee as you felt fingertips touch you through the fabric of the hood. A touch unwelcomed as you flinched, trying to steer your head away.

"No, no, don't shy," he uttered as he grabbed your chin and forced you back close to him. You couldn't see him, only a shadow loomed through the stitching of the hood as you grunted out. The touch sending all kinds of shockwaves through your system, your body telling you to do something, to fight!

A gloved thumb caressed your cheek tenderly through the cotton, appreciating how beautiful you face must be, how scared you must look right now. Perhaps he had covered your face in your favour, or maybe even his own. Regardless, you hated this, you hated him. Nothing stopped him from ripping it off your face and exposing you to his own features and surroundings, but you knew any maniac as skilled as he wouldn't make any risks. Then his thumb trailed to the bottom of your lip, pressing firmly against the hood. Your breath becoming even hotter under the fabric, unsure how to think or feel; knowing you were nothing but a part of his perverted games.

"A part of m-mme doesn't want to kill you," he purred, chuckling softly. Those words made your heart drop and immediately you began to sob, wanting nothing more to live this life.

"Please- don't.. I won't tell anyone about you, please-" you begged, shaking your head softly which only resulted in him grabbing your chin once again, holding your head firmly between his fingers.

"Shut up," he spat, the sudden humour in his voice replaced with hate. Then there was a beat of silence as he cleared his throat to speak again. "Don't be so pathetic. Please." There was a hint of desperation in his voice, a sound of woe himself. Regret in his words, regret in how he spoke to you. Before you could cry and plead, his mouth crashed against your own. The cloth acted as a barrier between your lips, the warmth of his breath creating the small space within the hood even more suffocating. It was a kiss stolen, unwelcome as you fought the grip on your chin. A fight deemed useless as his tongue grazed over the fabric of the hood, wetting only the cloth; desperation in his breath at the temptation to kiss your naked lips.

It was over as quickly as it had happened and finally he released your head, allowing your head to hang in shame. There was a shuffle of footsteps, another person approaching and any hope you had of surviving this now vanishing into nothing but disappointment. You accepted that whatever day it was, you would die.

"Not her, we need her," the voice spoke in the doorway and you felt your brows twist in horror, confused by the statement. The man who had kissed you sighed.

"Well, that's gonna be awk-awkward.." he grumbled.