#srry for tagging you but I feel like you think he deserves better too and also I live for your sevin fics so thanks for making those

[dumb-zombie-girl]

He deserves the world

Supernatural Appreciation Week - Day Two:        ↳ Side Character Who Deserved Better - Kevin Tran

[f1bordeaux]

If You Cared (part 2) | mv1

It's been years since you've indulged in a vacation. What better time is there than summer? Your family, the beach house in Italy-it seems perfect. But, for things to be just like good old times, your family needs to invite his. So of course you are having mixed feelings as the boy who broke your heart re-enters your life like nothing happened. Warnings: None Pairing: Max Verstappen x Reader Word count: 2.2+k Poetry style | Story style A/n: Here is part 2! The angst literally hasn't began yet there is so much more to come you might hate me by the end of this lol srry ;) Also! If you want to be tagged in future parts, let me know! Part One|Part Two|Part Three|Part Four|Part Five

“How are you feeling?”

You don’t turn around, already aware of who is speaking to you. Instead, you remain sat on the edge of the pool, feet lightly swinging through the water. There is a lot of noise coming from the house, people talking, laughing, sharing a drink or two. Outside, however, it is quiet. The comotion becomes a background noise that is masked by the chirping of crickets and the ocean waves only a few kilometers away. It is calm, it is dark, it is peaceful.

Mia sat down next to you, keeping her knees tucked into her chest. “I’m fine.” You say.

“Dinner was-”

“Tense.” You answer for her. And it was. Dinner was a never ending slew of compliments to Max, your family praising him and his family bragging about him. Did he deserve the comments made towards him? Absolutely. He was a phenomenal driver, something you couldn’t even deny. Max knew what he was doing on the track like it was second nature. Maybe it was second nature to him. But, all you could think about was the boy who left you. The boy who turned his back so quickly that he couldn’t even hear you cry. The boy who took everything from you just to disappear a few years later.

“Yeah.” Mia said. “Tense.”

Silence came quickly after that, the two of you just taking in the atmosphere around you. The sun had long set, the heat had long gone. The pool lights casted a turquoise glow over the backyard. It was beautiful. You remembered running across the tiles as a kid, jumping into the pool at late hours of the night. Max and you would be playing together and Mia and Victoria would be on their own. Life was good then. Life was simple.

The patio door slid open, unbeknown to you. Mia turned to look, however, eyes going wide when she saw who it was. With her lips flattened to a line, she rested a hand on your shoulder before standing up. “Try not to ruin your own summer, y/n.”

With that she was gone, her body being replaced by another. “Care if I sit with you?”

Again, you knew the voice before you saw the face. Max lowered himself to the ground, sticking his feet in the water right next to you. He was so close that if you moved over, just an inch, your thigh would be flush against his. You wonder if he’s just as warm as he used to be. You wonder if his skin feels just as soft as it once had. You think of a lot of things as Max kicks his feet through the water.

“We haven't had a chance to talk-”

“Since you left?”

He sniffles, leaning back on his palms. “I was going to say since I got here.”

“That works too.” You say. There are two ways to proceed. You can either cause a huge comotion, letting him know that-hey, maybe you were not over him. Maybe you still envied him for making you fall in love with him and then disappearing off the face of the earth. Maybe you guys could have made it work but he didn’t even bother trying. Or, you could do as you told yourself a week ago and move on. Let yourself have a good summer. Let the hurt come in waves but dont show it. Maybe you can outgrow it this year. “How was your flight?”

He looks at you, almost confused-like. It wasn’t what he was expecting you to say. “Uh, good. The Florence airport was packed but once we got over here everything was fine.”

You nod, looking down at the water. “Good, good.”

“How’s work been? I hear you work at a museum in New York.”

“Yeah, the Metropolitan Museum of Art.”

“Wow,” He shakes his head in approval. You don't need his approval, but you wonder what he really thinks of your job. Does he think you wasted your life? Does he think that your job is cool? At least you didn’t work at a McDonalds, right? “That sounds fancy. I can’t say I’ve been.”

“Have you ever been to New York in general?”

“No.”

You chuckle. It feels wrong to do so, but you can't help the small laugh that brushes past your lips. His dry humor is still intact you notice. What else is still the same about him? You haven’t heard him laugh yet, so you wonder if it sounds the same as before-boyish and cute. Does he still play FIFA like no tomorrow? Is his favorite color still blue?

“Do you remember jumping into the pool at like midnight as kids?” His hoarse voice cuts your train of thought in two. “Your mom would yell at us because she wanted to go to bed but now she had to make sure we showered.”

“I was just thinking about that earlier.” You want to slap yourself across the face as you say that sentence. You were thinking about him? There goes your ‘I dont give a fuck about him anymore’ deminer. 

But he smiles, exhaling through his nose as he turns to look at you. “Where’d the time go?”

“I wish I knew, Max.” You say, pulling your legs from the pool. Slowly, you walk to the back door, the orange glow from the inside light painting your skin shades of golds and browns. You look almost like an angel, like a God. Max notices it. Max notices a lot of things. “Goodnight.”

He sighs from behind you. “Goodnight, y/n.”

That night after a long, cold shower, you sit at the desk in your room, looking over the backyard and pool you had just conversed at. Your palm rests on a handle to one of the top drawers, and you fight yourself on whether or not to open it. You know what's in there. You know what you’re getting yourself into. But you don’t know if you want that pain or not. It was like Pandora’s box. If you got sucked in-which you knew was about to happen-there would be no escape. You would be heartbroken all over again.

Fuck it.

You pulled the drawer open, the contents shifting forward. There were photos-hundreds of photos-and two letters. There were two pens, a pink one and a blue one, there was a small fabric square, and there were a pair of glasses. Everything, save the photos, belonged to Max. The letters, you knew, would tear you apart to read. So, you pushed those aside, opting to pick up a small stack of photos. On the back in Sharpie ink they said, 2008. You and him were 10. Your birthday wasn’t until winter-his in fall only two months apart from yours.

Pulling the rubberband away, you studied the photos. You, Mia, Luca and Victoria in the pool. You, Max, Luca and Mia eating dinner at some restaurant. Max and Luca on bicycles. Victoria and you hugging on the beach. The sunset over the backyard. Max and you, lying together on the couch tucked underneath six or so blankets, fast asleep. His arm was around you, your cheeks pressed against one another. You smiled to yourself as you felt your throat closing up. “This sucks.” You whispered.

It did suck. You just simply couldn’t understand why Max didn’t want to try. It’s not like you guys were neighbors at the time. You only saw one another during the summer, but you were still friends during the rest of the year. Why would any of that change just because he was getting popular in driving? The only obvious reason was because he didn’t want you around. He didn’t want you. It could have worked if he would have tried. But he didn’t, so why should you spend your summer trying to mend the bridge he burned?

You threw all the photos back into the drawer, slamming it shut. You turned off the lamp desk and walked to your bed in the pitch black. Whatever was meant to happen, would happen. With or without Max.

-

“You’re sure you don't want to come?” Mia asks through your cracked open door. “Max-”

“She said no.” Luca pushes her aside, sticking his head in your room. Your attention was buried in your phone, mindlessly scrolling through some form of social media. You couldn’t see Luca’s childish grin or Mia’s worrying features. “I’ll bring you back some waffles or something, y/n.”

“Whatever, Luca.” You responded. He stuck his tongue out, making a spitting noise before slamming your door shut so hard you were afraid it would fall off the hinges. “Luca!”

It was far too early in the morning to be dealing with your little brother. Actually, it was never a good time to be dealing with your little brother. He’d woken you up, close to four am, to ask if you wanted to go grab breakfast and watch the sunset. You declined his offer, opting to stay in bed just a little longer. Plus, if everyone was going, Max was going. The last thing you wanted was to watch the sunrise with Max. So, you hid under the covers for a little longer, feeling the ceiling fan drag cold air on your exposed skin.

You heard the front door close from downstairs, a signal that you were finally alone. Slowly, you rose from your bed, taking long strides across the room. Just because you didn’t want to watch the sunset with everyone didn’t mean you wanted to miss out on it. There would be a perfect view from the backyard or from the beach only a quick walk away. You sombered through the house, a soft, chilling blue being cast through the windows. You loved this time of day, before the sun was up, before the heat settled into the ground, before the world was really active. It was so serene.

“Good morning.”

You paused at your spot on the base of the steps. Max stood in the kitchen, a glass of water in his hand. “You didn’t-why didn’t you-”

He shrugged as you struggled to speak. “I thought you were going. I didn’t want to bother.”

Guilt trip me, perfect. “Max, you shouldn’t base your itinerary on what I’m doing.” You said.

“So then why didn’t you go?”

“Fair point.”

He laughed, bringing his water to his lips. Yeah, you thought. He still has the same boyish laugh. “Come,” He said, holding his hand across the kitchen island. You stepped closer, although hesitantly. “Let's watch the sunrise and hash out whatever this is.”

Face your fears? Speak to Max about the problem at hand? Explain to him that you aren't over the loss of his presence in your life? Your stomach churned at the idea. Your stomach churned even more when you realized that you were only wearing a large tshirt and some underwear that was barely covered by the hem of the shirt. Instantly, your cheeks heated up, the back of your hand going to cool one side down. God you should have gone to breakfast.

Max raised his eyebrows, closing his hand before reopening it. “Well?”

“Right, yeah, sorry.” You said, grabbing a blanket before grabbing his hand. He knew you looked good-effortlessly good. You had just gotten out of bed and still you looked perfect. Your lips were plump, your eyelashes were so long and dark, your skin was glowing. He thought you looked better now than any dolled-up girl he’d met in Monaco. You looked so good just existing, but he didn’t think he’d be able to say that to your face.

The two of you walked outside, sitting in the patio chairs facing the ocean. He cleared his throat, turning to look at you as you draped the blanket over your legs. “I’m sorry.”

“Max-”

“You deserved better. I had no right to make you fall in love with me and then just go. I knew I’d leave so I should have never ruined what special bond you and I had. I’m so sorry, y/n.”

Your jaw was practically on the floor as he spoke. Where was this coming from? What prompted him to say this? “I-I’m speechless.”

“I don’t expect you to forgive me, but can we have a few weeks that are similar to our childhood? Just me and you doing dumb stuff that we shouldn’t be doing? Making memories that we’ll tell people for decades?” He looks right into your eyes as he speaks, something he never really does. There is this soft sparkle in his eyes, this soft dazzling glow. He looks amazed, he looks taken aback. He looks so-pretty? God, the way his voice was dancing through your ears, the way his hair looked-still messy from getting out of bed-the way his hands fidgeted with one another, the way a faint blush dusted his cheeks-Max looked so desirable right now. You wanted to reach over and kiss him, to feel his warm, plush lips on your own.

You forced yourself to look away, afraid of what would pursue if you didn't. The sun had partly peaked over the oceanline. Give him a chance, you told yourself. What's the worst that could happen? He knows he fucked up and wont make that mistake again. Neither will you. “Yeah,” You finally say. He provides a relieved smile. “Yeah, let’s have a good summer, Max.”

Continuation tags:@hanversace

[merakiui]

I was reading through your tags and you mentioned at some point the kazuscara roommates finding your onlyfans and I think I completely combusted—thus i present to you my brain rot of late: you attend the same school as them but you’re not actually friends, all you know about kazuha is that he’s the friendly regular at the cafe you work at, who makes polite conversation every now and then but otherwise is nothing of note. In reality he’s been stalking you for weeks ever since your first encounter, and is dead set on the idea that you’re this innocent, weak thing that needs to be protected (maybe he stepped in when you had a bad customer and your meek reply helped fester his delusions?). Scara, on the other hand, is only aware of your presence since you’re his favourite cam model that he recently found. (Since he’s a harbinger he’s probs loaded) Weeks of funnelling money towards you cause him to feel this unwarranted possessiveness, believing that since he’s been providing so much in your “relationship” that it’s time you reward him in turn. However, despite the unbridled interest they have toward you neither are aware of each other’s feelings for you— that is, until you happen to run into the both of them heading to your class. While both are known for maintaining their stoic masks, they’re friends for a reason— and instantly can tell the attraction their roommates have towards their own “lover”. After kazuha finds your onlyfans he’s certain that you’ve been coerced and wants to save you, while scara thinks it’s time that he’s stopped letting other plebeians look at his possession—so, despite their initial reservations, come together to form the ideal plan. When you find yourself waking up groggy in a room you don’t recognize, all they can do is look on with glee whilst planning their next course of action with their new belonging. They’re friends after all, and good friends share though, don’t they?

This is v long srry lol you can ignore this ofc!!

AAAH, ANON!! YES!!! <3 I couldn’t resist writing more on this concept. orz They make for such a terrifying pair when they work together!

(cw: yandere, stalking, nsfw, implied kidnapping/drugging, unhealthy behaviors/relationship, delusional thoughts, savior complex, implied violence)

What if Kazuha and Scara were just acquainted with one another and actually became closer through their mutual obsession with you? Yes, they’re roommates and ought to get along because they’re living together but they haven’t exactly clicked yet. They talk every now and then and know little things about each other. Nothing too special. They don’t really hang out outside of their dorm either, what with their class schedules being vastly different. And Kazuha’s always out of the dorm doing who-knows-what. Most of his time is spent at a café, where he’ll write and read and stare at you while you work. On the other hand, Scara prefers to stay inside if he doesn’t have a good reason to go out. He likes his alone time. Although he has enjoyed going to the library every now and then to study.

So maybe they need to find some common ground. Maybe they need a push in the right direction before they get closer.

Kazuha likes to stare. Talking to you is great, but he worries he’ll say too much and then he’ll be a nuisance, or you might not want to talk to him at all since you’re working. But you always regard him with a warm smile, happy to scribble his name on the plastic cup because you remember him. Because you recognize his familiar face and soft, gentle eyes. He’s the one who saved you from that rude customer, after all, and he’s a polite regular. Why wouldn’t you know him? You might look like you can handle those types of situations, but what Kazuha saw that day was something entirely different. You were nervous—so soft-spoken and scared. He absolutely has to protect you from those kinds of people now, doesn’t he?

And he does exactly that. He’s your second pair of eyes—your valiant knight in shining armor—who sees and hears all. Sometimes he goes to the café with the intention to simply watch over you and make sure no one’s bothering you. He can recall one time when a customer was speaking rudely about you because her drink hadn’t been prepared in a ‘timely manner.’ In reality it’s impossible to make a drink within a few seconds, especially when you’re already preoccupied with making another customer’s drink. She must’ve woken up on the wrong side of the bed, or maybe she’s just a hateful person in general. You didn’t deserve to be on the receiving end of such fiery insults, though.

Her eyes just can’t see your perfection and therefore she does not deserve to see out of them.

Kazuha’s willing to wrestle with all of this darkness if it means you’ll stay safe, oblivious, and pure. You’re like a defenseless kitten, unable to protect yourself from the scary world. He writes about you a lot in his journal; you’re his muse—someone who constantly shows up in poems and short paragraphs where he tries to describe what your dream date might be or what type of wedding you’d prefer. Things get darker the deeper you delve into his writings, where you’ll find entries in great detail. Kazuha writes a lot and he doesn’t even mean to. He just has to get all of his thoughts on paper before they abandon him and he’s left with emptiness.

Everything you do is pure; you’re almost an equivalent to a holy being. Your smell is pure. Your body is pure. Your actions are pure. Your smile is pure. Even when you’re on the verge of crying from harsh customers or when you’re turning down a confession, you’re still pure. And Kazuha likes that about you because it’s special. There aren’t many people in his life who are completely pure. He’s been through a lot of rough things and has seen firsthand how impure people can be. It’s only fair that he gets a chance to protect purity itself.

He might have some impurities, but that doesn’t deter him from watching over you. As gentle and unassuming as he is, there are times when even he loses his composure. Not many are privy to these dark emotions of his. His smiles are sharp and venomous and his eyes fill with a gloom so dark it can swallow you whole. You’ll never see this side of him; he won’t allow it. Instead you’re treated to his sweet, calm side, where he feigns perfection in hopes of catching your interest.

As for Scara… He doesn’t really care about Kazuha in the beginning. He’s just someone he has to live with. It’s not a big deal and as long as he doesn’t try to make lots of pointless conversation everything will be okay. He prefers the peace and quiet, considering he’s acquainted with people who are far from peaceful and quiet. Scara’s relieved that Kazuha leaves the dorm so often because it gives him an opportunity to watch his favorite cam star’s most recent video. He’s your most loyal follower—someone who’s paid lots of money just to have access to the highest tier of rewards and such. He even got a private video where you addressed him and moaned out his name with lustful thoughts of him. Having lots of money comes in handy.

When he finds out that you go to the same school as him, he’s a little shocked. He didn’t expect you to be so close. You’re practically within touching distance. If only he knew your schedule. If only you were in one of his classes. It’s really annoying that he only knows your online presence and not who you might be in your personal life. The last thing he’s going to do is consult Childe, that popular athlete who knows literally everyone in the school for whatever reason. Surely he knows you. But he’ll die before he ever asks Childe for a favor.

Scara loves you out of every other cam model because you’re different. You’re not just trying to get fast cash. You’re genuine. You listen to your subscribers and their feedback. You do your best to improve and do even better streams than the previous ones. All of your hard work is overlooked by the other fools who watch your streams, but it isn’t overlooked by him. Scara appreciates your attention to detail and the way you’re able to hook him with your breathless voice alone. You’re very skilled at what you do, so it’s only fair you get paid for it.

But buying your services isn’t enough. It’s not a real relationship, but it certainly feels like it when he buys preferential treatment. Private shows, special requests, odd favors—you do it all because he pays for it. But this relationship isn’t going to be one-sided forever. You’ll have to pay him back in full eventually. Scara likes to think he has patience and that waiting is fine. It gives him more time to plan his next move—to figure out what he should do to finally have you all to himself. So that those private shows he watches through a screen can finally be real.

Scara finds the journal sitting innocently on Kazuha’s bed, its maroon cover and maple leaves pulling at his curiosity. He might not know everything about Kazuha, but he’d recognize this journal anywhere. His roommate almost always has it on his person. Scara wouldn’t be surprised if he slept with it. To say he’s curious would be absolutely correct. He can only wonder what Kazuha writes in that thing. Perhaps it’s just notes for a class. That’s what anyone would think, right?

Scara opens it and flips through the first few pages. They’re normal for the most part. Just a bunch of haikus and other useless scribbles. When he skips over some pages, he starts to find things that are far more interesting than poetry and doodles of cats. He finds the majority of the journal is comprised of information. More specifically, there are facts and other knowledge about you—the cam model he’s been obsessed with ever since he stumbled upon your onlyfans. He reads through as much of the journal as he can and instantly learns so much: your address, your roommate, your workplace, your friends’ names, names of any potential exes. The list goes on and on.

Scara doesn’t have anything against Kazuha. His first impression of him wasn’t anything groundbreaking. He thought he was a pushover at first. But now that he knows what this journal holds… Well, it sheds an entirely new light on his roommate.

Just days before Scara took a peek inside his journal, Kazuha discovers your secret online life. He snoops through Scara’s laptop when he steps out, having left it open and unlocked. He’s just trying to find what could have caught Scara’s interest, as he’s almost always glued to his laptop on specific days at specific times, with his headphones on and his gaze unyielding. He doesn’t intend to find the file of one of your private videos—something that was meant only for Scara’s eyes.

He clicks on the video out of interest. He’s not sure what he was expecting to see, but it definitely wasn’t this. Kazuha sits there and stares at the sight before him. You’re dressed in skimpy lingerie and you’re muttering the dirtiest things while coating your fingers in lube. And your hands are stroking a thick toy and you’re addressing Scara and you’re lining it up to your hole and— He shuts the laptop before it can get even more explicit than it already is. He’s so conflicted, fraught with a betrayal so strong it weighs his heart down.

Why would he have this sort of video on his laptop? Did you give it to him? Did he make you do this? Are you in danger? Are you still pure?

Kazuha can’t kill on campus. It’s way too risky and he’d be one of the first suspects if Scara’s body is found. Besides, it’s not like he has the full story. He doesn’t know whether or not Scara’s done something that’s worthy of death. You could just be in a tight spot. He knows how easily you give in when you’re under pressure. Maybe you’re just doing this because you feel like it’s the only thing you can do. Not to worry; Kazuha will save you before Scara can ruin your purity with his twisted fantasies.

They confront each other when the time feels right. Kazuha struggles to keep a smile plastered to his face for the sake of politeness, while Scara holds in his raging temper so that he can bear some semblance of cooperation. Neither of them is happy to hear that the other went through their stuff, but they force themselves to make up because a more pressing issue is at hand: their connection to you.

Kazuha says he’s your secret admirer. Scara says he’s in a relationship with you. There’s no way you’d ever date someone like Scara—Kazuha knows this for a fact. Yet he falters at the confidence in Scara’s tone. That can’t be the truth, right? Despite this, Kazuha still strikes up an offer: If they work together to get what they both want, they’ll be unstoppable. With Scara’s riches and his influence and Kazuha’s charisma and clever thinking, they can easily get their hands on you. Of course this means they’ll have to share, but it’s not a big deal when they’re already in so deep. They both know the other’s secret; now they’re swearing to keep it in the pursuit of having you all to themselves. And luckily Scara agrees to the deal, but that doesn’t give Kazuha a reason to lower his guard.

However despite how well they work together when it comes to planning the kidnapping and actually executing it, they both have their own reasons for wanting you. Scara wishes to make his relationship with you a reality—to toss aside the screen that once held him back and finally do all of the things he could only do in his dreams. Kazuha seeks to protect your fragile heart, lest you crumble under Scara’s intense way of doing things and cling to him for salvation. You can’t do those sorts of things with Scara; he won’t allow it. Your purity is meant for him and no one else.

But sharing is caring and some have to learn that the hard way. It definitely brings Kazuha and Scara closer together, even if neither of them will admit it. If they look past their desires, they can be friends. And soon enough they’ll have to accept this new friendship if they want to avoid any unnecessary complications.

However there are times when they’ll cooperate in order to do things with you. They’re a packaged deal you can’t get rid of.

[junova]

never been in love — single dad!steve (headcannon)

pairing: single dad!steve x teacher!reader

abstract: the one where steve likes you a lot and his daughter does too. 

warnings: it gets a lil smutty towards the end (18+) not really tho, this is so much longer than i intended jfc, bucky being kind of a dick, hint of daddy kink, cheating? 

[a/n]: this was totally inspired by @marvelouspeterparker​ post. i read it and it pulled me out of my writers block so thank u ! also this is so unnecessarily long but i have no excuse other than im a hoe for steve rogers?? 

*** gif isnt mine — i forgot creds srry :/

                             -ˋˏ ༻✿༺ ˎˊ-  

oh god this one is going to hUrt me

but can you just imagine when steve really gets to see you, not just in passing as he picks up his daughter

he nearly shits himself because how in the hell had he not noticed you before?

one any given day, he’s right on time to pick up shai

he’s always punctual

— until today

not only was he late, but he was an hour late and in his mess of mind he was fully convinced they’d never let him bring her to the school again

to make matters even worse his phone had died and his cable was nowhere to be found in his dying, old pick up truck

not to mention his sweet little angel, more than likely frightened out of her mind

— but he was so wrong

practically in a full sprint, he quickly made his way to shai’s classroom when he found her perfectly peaceful while she talked with her teacher

even though, she was facing him and could see him she paid him no mind. it didn’t faze her that her father was so late because you had stayed to keep her company

“well, it looks like he finally decided to show up.” shai spoke to you, loud enough so her father in the doorway could her. the edge in her tone pushing sassy all the way through

of course as soon as shai found her way in steve’s arms he profusely apologized and graciously thanked you for staying with her saying he would repay you for it

— and it definitely had nothing to do with how attracted steve was to you. nope. not at all

you dismissed his gesture, it was a delight to be with shai and you told him such but you had a feeling he wouldn’t let it go

— and he didn’t

the very next day, when he dropped shai off and handed you a dozen pastries he had made fresh this morning

the way you gushed over it, cheekbones high and happy over his kindness made steve’s heart swell

they were still warm and you just couldn’t believe he made these with his bare hands

it was easily the kindest gift anyone ever gave you and you told him that too before you could stop yourself

then he just started bringing you a pastry or two every other day, even if you’d refused them the next day he would bring double the amount he brought the day before

you stopped refusing him bc you already felt guilt since he wouldn’t let you pay for a single one

after two weeks, steve asked you out. you weren’t shocked he had, he had been buttering you up but no matter how charming you thought he was you couldn’t.

he was a parent of one of your students and you just couldn’t allow yourself to go there

it wasn’t necessarily against the rules, but it was frowned upon

accepting your rejection with grace and humility he grabbed shai before bidding you goodbye that day

you thought that was the end of it, until you saw him the following friday night at the bar you frequented at

— alone

you wanted to talk to him, the tequila in your system giving you an irresistible urge to but you were on a date with on of your friends’ coworkers

james buchanan barnes

he definitely was a smooth taker, those dazzling blue eyes sparkling like they knew something you didn’t

you really wanted to be interested, he was a loose shape of a man you’d dream about. maybe you could even pretend he was the one you really wanted

not when steve was sitting at the bar, alone.

but you left that thought behind and you convinced yourself you really were smitten with bucky

two weeks later, bucky and you had been on a few dates and he seemed to like you but you knew you had to end things.

whatever little fling you had going on

your heart got more of kick when steve used to bring you pastries in the morning before class than when bucky kissed you after your first date.

then he asked if you would come to his house, he was having a small get together and would love if you’d be there

— reluctantly, you went

bucky’s friends were nice, each one of them making you feel welcomed into their tight circle.

it turned into a better night than you thought and bucky seemed to be super touchy, guiding you onto his lap as you sat around the fire in his patio

natasha, bucky’s long friend since high school, had you all in fits on the stories from the past

everyone was too busy reeling to recognize his presence but you had the to be blind not to

there steve stood gaping at you’d like you were a ghost, certainly surprised to see you perched on bucky’s lap

yep you wanted to just crawl under a whole a stay there forever

“Glad to see you showed up, punk.” Bucky gesturing for him to make his way over to you, even when you pulled at the sleeve of his henley to stop him.

— of course your efforts to tame bucky in did nothing

he grabbed a cold one before making his way to the two of you

and dear god was it as awkward as ever

“Honey, this is my best friend, Steve.” Honey? He had never called you anything besides your name. By the way he pulled you even closer to him made you think there was something else entirely going on.

you certainly didn’t miss the way steve’s jaw clenched or as he held his right hand picking at the piece of bark rather aggressively

“Um, we actually know each other. Shai is in my class, actually.” Feeling rather suffocated by the weight of Bucky’s arms now that the man you felt too much for was here. “Really? I had no idea.”

steve’s eyes nearly bugged out of his head, infuriated. it wasn’t just that bucky knew you were shai’s teacher but he knew just how much steve liked you.

he didn’t shut up about you since he you with his daughter — something inside him changing in an instance

it wasn’t just that he thought you were the most wonderful woman he’d me — shai also raved over you

shai’s mother leaving a gaping whole in her heart she didn’t quite understand at the age of five was filled by you

you were kind to her, your patience never wearing thin as you gave her the attention she deserved

it may be your job but you enjoyed every moment with her and steve noticed

“Oh? She’s the one you would wake up an hour early for to make the pastries?” Bucky blurted out.

he woke up an early just to make those for you?

the way steve looked at the ground, grinding his fingertip against the label of his beer made you want to cry. his neck flaring pink at the embarrassment only made you wish you were in his arm instead

— even more than you already did

“You really should have seen the smile on his face when he came back from the school gushing over how much you liked what he had made.”

Bucky tightened his arm around your waist before saying. “Or when you reject him, I still can’t decide which is better.”

“That’s enough, James.” You tone harsh, before you ripped yourself away.

you couldn’t even look at steve, you don’t think your heart could handle it so you practically sprinted to your car

you needed to get the fuck out of here

until you reached for you keys, but they weren’t in your pocket

“Looking for these?” His hands looping through your keys giving it a twirl. “Star Wars fan?” Steve gesturing to you baby yoda key chain. “Maybe just a tad.”

“Thank you, Steve.” He tried to ignore the jump you ignited in his heart whenever you said his name.

handing your keys, he turned away from you, heading back into the house until you yanked him forward

the force so strong he though he was going to body slam into you before he pushing his weight against the car.....and you

“I’m sorry about, Bucky. I never would have gone out with him if I knew you two were friends.” You admitted while Steve just stood there looking embarrassed.

god did you always have to ruin everything

“I-I just, um, have these feelings for you. These very complicated feelings that make me want to throw every morally sound thought I have to the wind.”

“Which thought did you want to get rid of right now?” Stepping outside of his comfort zone, Steve grabbed your hands and just on instinct alone you cradled his face like it was the most natural act in the world. Like you had done it a thousand times.

“I mean, for one I’m telling myself I shouldn’t be this close to you.” Steve taking you by surprise as he tilted his head to the side, kissing the palm of your hand.

did he really just-

“What else, sweet girl?”

oh, you really were a goner

“I don’t know.” You spoke softly. Admitting to not only him but yourself — you couldn’t think when he was this close to you.

“Oh, but I think you do.” Steve diving right in as he latched his plump lips to your neck. Making whispers of his name drip off your tongue.

before you register what was happening steve had you pressed up against the car, rough hands gripping your thighs as your legs clinged to his slim waist

not to mention the ratio from his broad shoulders to his hips had your pussy drowning more

making you forget why you’d ever rejected him in the first place and he had hardly even touched you yet

then his lips met yours and you knew he had ruined you for anyone else. no one would ever compare to him and not anyone from your past did.

“Holy shit.” You whispered, completely in awe of what Steve was capable of doing to you in a matter of seconds. The proud smirk he wore in great contrast to what he felt back by the fire when he saw your body entangled with Bucky.

“If I ever see you sitting on my best friend’s lap again, I will go fucking crazy. Do you understand?” Steve eyes burning with envy.

“Yes, Daddy.”

brb gonna cry that i don’t have my very own steve rogers rip 

                            -ˋˏ ༻✿༺ ˎˊ-

 tags: @tonystankschild​ @parkastoria​ @kayteewritessteve​ 

[gayerthanthee]

'get to know me' tag game

Rules: answer the questions and tag people you'd like to get to know better.

Tagged by: my recent friend @heyheysey who shocked me in the notifs when i saw her actually tag me-- i really need to get used to having mutuals :O

Tagging: @raineyclouds @screaming-garbagemouth @mizuraisu @yourlocalmusicalprostitute and this is a desperate one but also @bohemian-napsodyy pls come back bby, i hope you're safe. i miss you so bad <33

also, there are some parts where i mention and talked about gender dysphoria & crisis, and death of a loved one. if it's triggering pls go on and don't read.

What do you prefer to be called name-wise?

Cas or Xan (like sah-n)

When is your birthday?

january 9

Where do you live?

the Philippines

Three things you are doing right now:

watching videos about genderfluid people

contemplating about the places I'll be in the future

downing 3 cups of water before bed (hydrating is sexc. do it pls.)

Four fandoms that have piqued your interest?

marvel - my childhood sweetheart, but i've only become really immersed during 2016! not as active anymore about it though.

queen - i always heard my parents play songs before year '90 when i was young, and what really stuck with me was listening to this band and their many songs and concerts. i joined the hype when the movie about them dropped at 2018. not much active anymore on that too.

bnha - i always saw this around but?? i only got in sometime last year or mid 2018 and religiously went binge-reading the manga during the highs of pandemic because distracting yourself from self-deteriorating thoughts is sexy. take it from me.

haikyuu - this was a random one. i knew this longer than bnha because it's popular but it wasn't as interesting to me before. but then i saw that many of the blogs i follow like hq too and then they make content and then the rest is history. i started maybe last month, haven't read the manga yet but i weirdly know things already.

How has the pandemic been treating you?

everything is constantly crazy thank you for asking. wouldn't have it any other way though.

A song you can't stop listening to right now?

Forget You by CeeLo Green

How old are you?

(UPDATE: yeah i now feel uncomfy sharing this info but yeet it's gone now srry)

School, university, occupation, other?

hope i was extra enough to excel the first semester in senior high. self-learning is difficult when you have all the time in the house to ✨succumb to vulnerable thoughts✨

Do you prefer heat or cold?

i prefer the heat. although a cold environment is really convenient especially in our country, i prefer the warmth because of the comfort it brings, along with keeping me grounded.

Name one fact others may not know about you:

I haven't exactly coped over my uncle's passing and I don't know if i did anything about it. i remember the times he was healthy and feel regret each time because i was such an ass of a kid to him back then that i think i made his life harder than what he actually deserved. he messaged me a along time ago and because i was constantly mad at him, i just left it on read, no more after that. everytime i see the conversation, it makes ny chest gape even more. i was so much angry back then that i didn't treat him as i should because yeah there were times were i was nice or neutral and helped him a lot and made him laugh a bit but still. wow im shaking just typing this. i now message him every once in a while even though he's gone. like a delusional way to connect with him even though it's too late.

Are you shy?

not much, no. I may worry about what someone significant to me may think about me though. but otherwise i'm chill and tired 25/8

Pronouns

she/he/they. my sex is female and it feels so right being genderfluid but i feel like i'm just too influenced by my country's homophobic tradition and society norm for me to accept myself? it's really tight here, I haven't even come out yet. being an Asian is hard.

biggest pet-peeves?

people commenting on my 'femininity'. pls drop it, i'm not comfortable being told i look better in a dress and i should act more womanly-like. i will manspread while also maintain good hygiene thank you very much. it's not because i may identify as male, but because gender roles is a big joke, okay? like sure this is my sex but i can also be a good boy or look sleek in a suit. it's confusing but it's not that hard. dresses are nice but they're not for me to wear just because i'm 'a girl'. is it obvious I have gender dysphoria??

What is your favorite "dere" type?

don't actually have one. they're all equally cool, i just don't have a preference. tsundere's are more above for me though.

Rate your life from 1-10, 1 being crappy and 10 being the best it could be.

it fluctuates from 4 to 7 like my gender. life is a wheel. you're on the low and it all goes up from here, but then you'll also be grounded and the cycle goes again.

What's your main blog?

this, @gayerthanthee , I have sideblogs but they aren't really relevant? i don't even remember why i made them?

List your side blogs and what they are used for:

homemade-genius - oh i did this because i tried to be funny and make some jokes. apparently i do not even have the ENERGY and MEMORY to post in it, so what made me think I even have humor too??

cas-xx - ick did this when i used to simp for some guy back in junior year. i still cringe to this day—not because i made a sideblog, but because i actually?? had the guts to simp for a straight cis-male who was also materialistic and firmly believed and follows gender-roles? it always makes me bleaurgh.

Is there something people need to know about you before becoming friends?

please consider that while i'm not picky with my gender, i still do not like being considered a female only, and because of society norms. we the gays are OUTSIDE the society norms. i would always rather being called handsome over beautiful. also pls consider i have gender dysphoria and crisis. it's crazy.

p.s. it's long overdue and i'm real sorry. i had to shut off from the world to finish my tasks and projects. and now i'm finally done!! thank you sey 🥺 this is my first time being tagged in a get to know me!!

[sweetrosetta-martin]

Beatle tag (cause why not ✌💗) 

I’m new to this fandom online, so what best way to present myself but doing this (plz don't kill me guys I come in peace).

 But I do have to give an special to @sgt-revolver cause thanks to their post I decided to do it. 

How long have you been a fan ?: About two years if I’m not wrong, but god it has been two intense ones. Long story short, this band never was part of my life (grew up in a different culture) until the day I was reading some fanfiction in AO3 and stumbled across one about them. I then found out they were the guys behind “Let it be” and “Here comes the sun” so I decided do dig even deeper..... (Now I’m here simping and crying to their music at 2am) 🙃

 Favorite Beatle: Used to be Paul (man got a charm) but when I better discovered George as a hole human being, and not only a Beatle, I went 💥. Tho, sometimes I do get frustrated with him and stay on John’s side cause he was lowkey relatable and a big bi-disaster mood. (I suddenly feel bad for Rings.... srry bro ) 

Favorite era for music: At the beginning I didn't like the mop top era and practically only listened from Help! to then end, but now I appreciate each period as a part of the band’s musical history and can’t help to fangirl to most songs. (Tho I’ll always have a soft spot for 1966)

Favorite era for lewks: Each Beatles had its own I think. Ringo as a teddy boy (he looks like the bad boy of your dreams), George in 65` (longer hair but not to long and just overlay hotness) and Paul/John in 66`. (The perfect balance between early and late looks)

Favorite song: Guess it depends on my mood, but it’s surely a tight between “Strawberry fields forever”, “Happiness is a warm gun”, “Lovely Rita” “While my guitar gently weeps”, “Don't bother me” and “Across the universe”. (This is such an unfair question xd)

Favorite album: Honestly I just can’t decide.. Its prob either “The Beatles (aka white album)”, “With the Beatles” or “Revolver” 

Unpopular/Controversial Beatles opinion: “Revolution 9″ is not an unlistenable song and has an actual artistic value. I mean, I don’t think is a song meant to be listened during a car ride, but I do think it encapsulates pretty well the chaotic and changing vibe of the late 60s. This song makes you feel unwell because it’s meant to. Despite that, I do believe it should not have been included on the album, but rather as a John/Yoko project. (Ik Geo had a input though)

A song everyone loves but you dislike: Never was the biggest fan of “Come together” or “With a little help from my friends”. They are not necessarily bad, but rather average for me

A song everyone dislikes but you love: “Run for your life”... I know the lyrics are quite nasty but its so catchy and I love George’s guitar in it. I also really like “Dizzy Miss Lizzy”, but I don’t know if it really is that unpopular among people

Your fantasy involving The Beatles: The PG one or the ??.. 

JK, but I would have love to meet them during their cavern/casbah days. Like about 1961, just to chat with them about rock n roll and even jam some songs. (Even if I’m not sure that I would love to do that as a girl or a guy). And I sincerely wish I could just have some deep conversations with George and John while we share a joint . I just wish I could have known them better... 

Tell us about the moment you knew you were a fan: When returning home after a long school day I decided to look after some live material (At the time I only knew like 4 songs). I put YouTube on my tv, and found “She loves you” . I was not the same girl after watching that video. If I could explain how I suddenly felt so much joy and excitement looking at them that I even started singing and dancing. The rest is history 😉

Did you ever have a genuine ‘The Beatles suck !’ phase before becoming a fan?: Because their music was not around me 24/7 growing up, I never got fed up with their music. For me almost everything was new and interesting, so I never had a hater phase 

Favorite Beatle’s book: Have not read any for the moment, but I’m dying to buy Cynthia’s and May’s books. (Also the autobiography “I me mine” by George) 

Thoughts on the old generation of fans: Even if the few experiences I’ve had with them have not been good, I know most of them are chill people. I also love some podcasts made by first or second gen fans. The only thing that I dislike, is the average boomer who will claim they know more than you cause they were alive at the time, even if the only song they know its “Hey Jude” . (Or those who treat John as a saint, and blame the hole break-up on Paul... smh)

If Hollywood were to make a high budget Beatles biopic, what is one thing you desperately hope they include?: I wish they wont do it (We already got enough movies), but if they do something, it would be better if it was a series and not a film. If it had to happen, they better not forget how young the guys really were and how they were actual people. I know they were ground-breaking in so many ways, but they were also human beings with many defaults and even a bit naïve in some aspects. If you only give me a wife-beater (nasty) John, delicate flower Paul, silent George and dumb Ringo, the cartoon series has done a better job than you. 

Do you read/write fanfic: One word.... Yes... *Hides her unfinished drafts*

Are you the only one in your family/friend group to enjoy them?: Sadly yes. I have to force my dad to play some Beatle music while driving cause most of the music he plays is raegetton, and even if I’m proud of my Latino roots.. I’ll do salsa or merengue anytime but not some Bad Bunny ok. 

Are you a shipper?:  Yup

Favorite movie starring/made by them?: Help!.. I mean I also love AHDN, but it’s just so funny to see them run around being high af as they play music despite Ringo being in mortal danger. (Also the visuals we get each song just give me such a MTV vibe. Its genuinely beautiful)

Do you believe in McLennon?: *smirks at the camera*

General opinions on McLennon?: Oh boy. The Lennon/McCartney relationship is one that seems out of my grandma telenovelas. From Paris to the breakup, their story is one of up and downs, but they never really stopped loving each other. Not even death could stop their link as Paul still dreams of him and thinks about John when composing songs. I understand that not everyone may be convinced that something really happened, but I think we all should be open to the possibility. 

If you got to change ONE thing about their history, what would be and why?: Brian’s death. The beginning of the end was the moment he passed away. With Brian the band would still have broke up (All things must pass, even the good ones), but it would have been less messed up. No Paul trying to take the lead a bit too much, Apple Corps probably being better handled and no Allen Klein messing up everything. (And probably no Yoko in the studio but that may be a bit of a stretch) 

What song has the best vocals?: As a group, “Because” it’s probably the one. Such a simple, yet perfectly well put vocals. The peak of their talent for harmonizing in my opinion. In another side “Oh Darling!” is prob Paul best and John’s voice in “This Boy” always get me

What song do you feel had no effort put into it?: Prob an unpopular opinion but “Eight Days a Week” is such a basic song. It’s not innovative, it just uses the formula, and I feel like around this time the guys were kind of tired and just fabricated the song to be a single. It simply not feels genuine, and for me it shows the biggest problem from the “Beatles for Sale” era. 

What is a well talked moment in Beatles history you genuinely believe to be false?: The way Yoko met John. The most known story is that they met each other at a Yoko art gallery, but many sources (such a Cynthia or Brian personal assistant) tell us a complete different truth. I do believe she knew the band, stalked John and force herself into his life, despite of the romantic tale she keeps repeating. 

What is something you KNOW to be true, but often gets erased in their history: John. So many things about John. Many see him as only a funny character and ignore so many cues that he was a man struggling with his own self esteem to the point of having eating disorders. Not forgetting his fluid sexuality, the fact that many think that as house husband all his problems went away or that he was a wife beater. John was more than the “Imagine” martyr or  monster so many people (even some fans) make out of him.

Least favorite look from a Beatle(s): Ringo in the Help! movie. Horrible mushroom hair 😂

Favorite look from a Beatle(s):  George Harrison in the “Hey Bulldog”/”Lady Madonna” videoclip. (I also want that cherry SG Standard so bad omg)

I really don’t know how many others have done it but here are my tags 

@rocknroll-imagines @moreofthatdrowse @cultofbeatle @joan-deserved-the-silver-hammer

Thanks a lot guys !! ❤✌🥦🐘🎵😎

[pinkykitten]

Forgiving

The Dolan Twins

Grayson Dolan x plus size! female reader

Warning: bad writing???, curse words, bullying sorta?, depression 

Specifics: plus size reader, angst, comedy, one-shot, race neutral reader

People: grayson dolan, ethan dolan, emma chamberlain, james charles 

Words: 1,187

Requested: By anon Hi I was wondering if I could have a plus size reader imagine with Grayson Dolan where the reader and him have been dating and she over hears his friends Emma and James saying stuff about her to Grayson and Ethan and Grayson says something too but they work it out?

Authors Note: agggh srry this took so long and its crap! hopefully its what u wanted, i kinda had writers block srry. 

When you and Grayson met you thought nothing of it because you were self conscious and a little bit bigger than other girls. Especially the girls that Grayson has been with. You thought that you and Grayson were just friends and you accepted his friendship. The last thing you would think of is that he actually liked you, you thought it was absurd. 

When he confessed it made you feel special. You felt beautiful and Grayson explained that he didn’t see you as all those mean things you thought about yourself. No in fact he just saw you like how you wanted to be seen, an ordinary girl that liked him, and he really liked you back. 

You guys have kept your relationship on the down low, only close friends and family knowing about you two. You wanted the relationship to be a little private for a while, get to know Grayson for who he truly is. 

You’ve met his brother and friends already. Some from youtube and some not. When you met Ethan, Grayson was so terrified, wanting you two to get along and like each other. You and Ethan have actually a lot in common. This made Grayson so happy and excited for the future. You also met the famous squad. You were more on the shy and self conscious area that hanging out with others that were more out spoken and jumpy it was new territory for you. But you conquered it. You made friends will all of them. Sometimes even being a little more bold and wearing shorts or crop tops making Grayson smile at your comfort. 

The squad had just finished a video and you were waiting for them to end it. You patiently sat on the side and watched them goof around, make jokes, laugh at something James does thats cringy, or Emma cursing about one of the boys, then theres Ethan and Grayson that have their little arguments in the middle. It felt like home to you, you felt happy and did not mind what your weight was. 

“What did you think of that babe?” Grayson wrapped his arms around your waist and kissed your neck. You chuckled and combed your fingers through his hair, “I thought it was really funny. You know you always make me laugh.”

Ethan started to laugh when James and Emma pretended to be you two and pretended to have sex. You rolled your eyes and turned around, fake making out with Grayson. 

“Eww guys get a room!” Ethan shooed you two away while James agreed, “for real guys. You guys are literally have sex right in front of us!” James pointed with his acrylic nails to you two. 

“Well you guys then would get a good show!” You started to dance, with Grayson giggling into your neck. Emma stood on the chair and put her finger up, “wait, hold up, let me get my singles!” She announced, searching in her purse. You all had a good laugh. 

“So I ordered pizza I think the guys here,” Ethan said as you all chilled on the couch waiting. Grayson was about to get up but you put your hand out, “its okay I got this.”

You jumped from the couch and went to the door. You probably looked like a mess because you didn’t have no makeup on and you were in one of Grayson’s sweat shirts. 

Grabbing the pizzas and paying the dude you walked away and over heard them saying your name. Did they think you were still over by the door? You paused and hid behind a corner and eaves dropped. 

“So y/n is really something,” James smiles as he scoots closer to Grayson. Grayson smiles and nods, “yeah she is. She is the best.”

“You know I just kinda worry about her. You know what I mean? Like I just hope nothing happens to her cause she kind of eats, like not that good, which is fine but I just worry.” Emma wrapped her hair in a messy but as she whispered the last part. James nodded, “Yeah I see how much she eats and the things she eats and sometimes I’m like, whoa sister. I just, like, how do we tell her?”

Grayson was in thought and was silent. “I don’t think theres anything wrong with her.” Ethan mumbled. James and Emma shook their heads, “were not saying theres anything wrong its just, maybe she should cut down.”

Your heart felt so broken and you felt like breaking down and crying. You trusted them and thought they looked past your weight, turns out you were wrong. They thought like the rest of the world. As Grayson was about to stand up for you and his love for you, you entered the living room. Every one was quiet, “well I’m so sorry I don’t want to be vegan or whatever shi* free. Thanks for talking about me like I’m some fuc*ing cow or something that didn’t mean a dam* thing to you all.” You slammed the pizzas on the table and grabbed your purse. As you sprinted to the door Grayson tried to grab you. All you heard was your name being called and apologies. 

You avoided Grayson and his friends for a couple of weeks. Your phone blowing up with calls, texts, voicemails, everything possible, with the same stupid word, sorry. Really if they cared about you then why did they talk about you like that in the first place?

The doorbell to your apartment rang. You were feeling very depressed after that, not wanting to do anything. You were like a hermit crab. Groggily, you trudged to the door and opened it to find Grayson. 

Only one word came out and you slammed the door on him. “Y/n, please hear me out.”

“No!”

“Why not?”

“Because you are a two face, you’re a liar Gray. You know how I am about those type of things and you allowed them to talk about me like that. I don’t know if I can forgive you.” You cuddled yourself in your huge sweatshirt on your couch, feeling tears stinging your eyes for the trillionth time that day. 

“Please baby, I’m sorry. They should of never talked like that about you. You deserve way better. Trust me on this though, I was going to say something. The minute they started talking I was starting to get so pissed. I wanted to tell them that they were wrong. That to me you’re perfect. To me you don’t need to change the way you eat, the way you look, the way you are. I want you to be happy babe, if you’re not happy with me then I’m so sorry, I will let you be. But just know that I fuc*ing love you so much.”

You felt your tears slipping down your cheek and opened the door again. In one swift motion you brought Grayson to you and hugged him. “I missed you so much.”

“I missed you too, and I’m so sorry.”

You brought his lips to you and kissed him hard. “I forgive you.”

Tag list: @harrington-lover, @angelgl16, @perfectlybeautifulsuit, @hyehoney, @haven-prelude (wont let me tag), @leasly, @totally-alexa21, @creamy-pasta-boi, @multireese, @fanfictionrecommendations-com, @prentisskelley, @malereaderforkpop (wont let me tag), @guardian-of-cookies, @justafangirl-97, @teenageshitposts (wont let me tag), @andreaoreas, @dippergravity (wont let me tag), @some-booty, @fromfoolishpeopletodeadpeople, @collectiveyou

wanna be tagged in my crap? comment!

[walkerismychoice]

For Law and Love - Chapter 12

Book: Desire and Decorum - Modern day AU

Paring: Ernest Sinclaire X MC

Raiting: PG-13

A/N: This is sort of shorter transitional chapter. but I felt it was best to get this stuff out of the way and cut it off here

Summary: Anna and Ernest deal with the fallout of the incident with Professor Richards

Word Count: 1457

Law and Love Master List  - Catch up here

The last week had been a whirlwind of giving statement after statement to police, lawyers, and school officials. Anna was thankful to have come out mostly unscathed, but as word spread of her ordeal, one by one more victims came forward, and not all were as lucky as her. Some had been afraid to say no, and gave into Professor Richards demands out of fear of the alternative, other’s had refused and failed out of law school, or worse. Things that could have happened to Anna had she not put up a fight, and she didn’t even want to think about just how lucky she was. The school set her up with a therapist which was helpful even after the first visit, but saw the value in continuing on because she realized she could have been benefiting from therapy all along.

Professor Richards was put on immediate suspension and class was cancelled for a week pending the investigation. By some miracle, professor Richards’s attorney must have convinced him not to press charges against Ernest given all the serious accusations against him, but Ernest wasn't in the clear yet. He still had go before the Dean and the rest of the law school's administrative board to determine what, if any, action would be taken against him.

~~~~~

Ernest bit at his nails as he sat in front of the board nervously awaiting the start of the hearing. In his opinion Professor Richards deserved a whole lot more than a punch to the face, but he also understood the threat of immediate danger to Anna had passed and that they could easily find him in violation of the school's code of conduct. He didn't know what type of punishment to expect, but he could handle just about anything short of being expelled.

“Mr. Sinclaire,” Dean Henning began as the other board members watched on attentively. “As you know, we are here today to discuss your incident with Professor Richards. You are aware that we have a zero tolerance policy for violence, correct?”

“Yes, Sir.” Ernest answered, lowering his eyes to the floor.

“Based on my own knowledge and interviews with others in the school that know you, this type of behavior is out of character for you. I imagine you wouldn’t have resorted to assaulting Professor Richards without just cause. Am I correct in assuming you acted as you did out of concern for Ms. Edgewater’s safety?” The dean questioned.

If he Ernest was being completely honest, Anna was already physically out of harm’s way by the time he got there. “Well,...”

“Mr. Sinclaire, I do already have statements from Mr. Harper and Mr. Prince confirming you were acting in defense of Ms. Edgewater. If you say no more, I will accept that as your agreement, and we can put this to rest. I’m guessing Professor Richards will be too busy with his other battles to put up a fight on this front.” Ernest couldn’t be certain, but he thought he detected a hint of a smile on the dean’s lips. He glanced at the other board members and noticed a couple of them smirking as well. Maybe Professor Richards nasty reputation extended beyond just the students

Ernest let out an audible sigh of relief. “Thank you, Sir.”

“Very well then.” Dean Henning very clearly smiled this time. “We do have another matter to discuss.”

“Okay...” Ernest’s heart started beating faster again, not knowing what else he could have done wrong.

“No need to worry. It’s nothing bad,” Dean Henning reassured him. “Although Professor Richard’s future remains uncertain, he is suspended indefinitely. This is a concern because there is still a month left in the semester, and we need someone to head up teaching Business Law. The department has talked it over and we believe you are the best person for the job.”

“What?” Was Ernest hearing this right? Moments ago he was worried about being kicked out of law school, and now they were asking him to head up the course. “But I’m just a law student. Why me over anyone else?”

“To be honest, if there were another professor who knew the material and had availability, that would be our top choice, but at this point, you are by far the most qualified. It is not unprecedented for graduate students to instruct undergraduate courses and we are confident you know the material. Mr. Harper and Mr. Prince are good students as well, but you are at the top of your class. They will continue to act as your teaching assistants and you will present the material to the class. We are aware that Professor Richards was relying heavily on the three of you, so the workload shouldn’t be that much more for you. What do you say?” The dean asked expectantly.

His mind was still reeling from the sudden turn of events, but he knew he needed to do it. “Yes, I’ll do.”

“Excellent.” Dean Henning reached across the table to shake Ernest’s hand. “Just one more thing. I do not need to know the details of your personal life, but I feel it may be necessary spell out that professor/student relationships are forbidden. Although you lack the technical title, you are acting in the role, and we will need you to abide by this rule, at least until the semester ends and final grades are submitted.”

Ernest’s heart sunk upon the realization. “Understood.” It was only a month. He an Anna could handle a month apart, couldn’t they? 

~~~~~

Ernest had texted Anna immediately after the hearing to meet her at his office with no further details. He was seated at his desk when she arrived. She grabbed the handle to shut the door, but he stopped her. “You can leave that open.” 

There was a formality in his tone she wasn’t used to and Anna started to worry. She sat down in the chair opposite his at the desk. “How did the hearing go? Are you okay?”

Ernest smiled wearily. “It went very well, actually. Apparently I have some very good friends willing to vouch for me, and professor Richards has enough enemies that there will be no action taken against me. In fact, you are looking at the new stand-in professor for the rest of the semester.”

“Seriously? That’s great news!” Anna jumped up and ran around the desk to give Ernest a hug but he held a hand up to keep her back. 

“Unfortunately, that means we cannot continue our relationship for the remainder of the semester. I’m sorry, Anna.”

His actions now made sense and Anna feared the worst. “So are we breaking up?”

Ernest looked out into the hallway and then spoke softly. “No, not at all. It’s just that with everything that’s happened, neither of us can afford to take any chances here. We can’t risk being seen in any inappropriate situations. I’m still all yours if you can wait. 

A month was such an insignificant amount of time, yet a month without touching, kissing, or holding Ernest seemed like an eternity. However, given the alternatives, it wasn’t the worst thing she could have to endure. “Hmm. A month is a long time, and I do have a lot of other prospects...kidding, kidding. Of course I can wait. I’d even wait two months for you.”

Ernest shook his head and laughed. “We’ll see how things go, but for now I’ll only be able to see you in class. Unless...There would be nothing stopping you from volunteering at the legal aid clinic on Saturdays when I do. They can always use extra help filling and filing paperwork. You don’t need any special training and it would look good on your law school application.”

“I’ll keep that in mind. Strictly to help me with Law School, and not because there might some hot law school students there.” Anna smirked. 

“I would tell you that you better be talking about me, but that would be inappropriate, so I’ll just say I hope the opportunity is everything you are looking for. I do have to have to run to another class now, but maybe I’ll see you at the clinic tomorrow.” As they stood to leave, Ernest peered out into the hallway, and then pulled Anna behind the door and out of view. He wrapped his arms around her and brought his lips down on hers, kissing her like he needed it to be enough to last. 

Anna kissed him back with equal eagerness and longing before the finally broke apart. “I know you aren’t going anywhere, but I miss you already.”

Ernest hugged her tightly to his chest. “This will be over in no time. We’ll make it work. I know we will.”     

Tag List:  @symonde @timmagicktoad @reputationbee @antumbral @flowerpowell @flyawayboo @hellospunkiebrewster @boneandfur @tmarie82 @debramcg1106 @lizeboredom @simplyaiden-blog @the-writerly-night-owl, @quacksonlover @thefarrari @snickette @hhiggs @marianagmt @drakewalkerfantasy @mistersinclaire @jessweb84 @marshmallow-ortega @butindeed @fluffy-marshmallow-heart @confessionsofabrokegirl @akrenich @alexanderkeith-77-blog @nicestrokepam @cocomaxley @leelee10898 @blackcatkita @yesterday4 @shelivesinthewoods @snyggflicka @nekkidmolerat @srry-itshockeyszn @walkerduchess @choicesyouplayandmore @andy-loves-corgis @katurrade @too-poor-to-buy-keys @endless-vall @hopefulmoonobject @damienazarios @pens-girl-87 @catlady0911 @thatspicegirlssong

[rogue-barnes-16]

RUSSIAN ROULETTE (Destroyer fic)

Request: just watched Destroyr too nd I'm thirsty for a fic nd saw you're taking requests from it. Can you do a fic where chris goes undercover with the reader instead with erin and when the Russian Roulette shit happens the reader does something to stop it nd chris confronts her later or smthng || idk it's a messy request sorry. || Pls make it anon??? || lol srry XOXO

Pairing: Chris x reader (Destroyer)

Genre: angsty (?) idk how to describe it

Tags:

Permanent taglist: @notexactlythatgirl @thisismysecrethappyplace @sofreakinmanyfandoms @pizzarollpatrol @bubblycypress87 @sinviix @loislp @lovenaturefirst @dyanna-corona @2ptonpt @goodnightmode @disneyprincessbuffyannesummers @mannls @cutie1365 @catch22inareddress @mybooradley @sebastianisasnack @butifulsoul125

Warnings: not actual spoilers (that's a warning), tension, makeout, language

A/N: first of, I feel like I should make this clear again THIS DOES NOT CONTAIN SPOILERS BUT IT IS BASED ON A PART OF A SCENE OF THE MOVIE. Also, DAMN I enjoyed writing this. Also, it soothed the pain caused by the movie (thanks Nicole Kidman, you lovely human being, for destroying my heart). Anyway, enjoy <3.

Rogue-barnes-16 masterlist

I lay down on the sofa, giving Chris a brief glance to check on him. A while ago, I could have just asked him since all the party noise would have covered our voices, but it all had gotten really quiet.

People had slowly left, and in the house there were just a few people left. Silas, sitting on the armchair; Petra and that other girl, checking their messed up makeup in the mirror; Toby, playing some random video game; Chris, sat right behind Toby, and Arturo, who was coming my way in the moment.

"look what I found" he shook the pack of beers on his right hand, a mischievous grin on his face.

"reinforcements" I extended my hand for him to give me one. "nice, I needed it" I opened the one he gave me and took a sip.

When Arturo made a hesitant attempt to sit besides me, I moved my leg for him to have more room. "looking gorgeous today, Y/n" he said, half cuddling me.

Arturo was kind of pinning over me, I knew it. I sometimes, if I was in a playful mood, would lead him on. He knew I 'was with Chris' —even though we weren't actually together—, so there was nothing else apart from teasing and light flirting.

Chris, however, to pretend, most of the times would play the jealous boyfriend card, but right now he was distracted.

There was someone who was noticing it, though. Silas had his eyes on us, and, if I only had noticed it before, I would have stopped.

But I hadn't.

I jumped at the loud thud that sounded right besides me. When I turned to it, I saw a small gun on the floor.

"Arturo" Silas called the boy besides him. He tilted his head to the gun with a sick smile on his face. "let's see if your time has come?"

The room, now silent, was filled with anxiety and tension.

I tried playing it cool, but the fear in my eyes gave me away. I knew I was being too obvious when Chris decided to intervene.

"fuck it, Arturo" he said carelessly, not looking at anyone, but at the joint he had just rolled. "don't do it" he added, lighting up the joint before giving it a puff.

"it's none of your business Chris" Chris replied at Silas' statement with a gesture of indifference while he let out the smoke. "C'mon Arturo, grow a pair. Don't wanna play?"

I knew things were about to get worse than expected when Arturo got up and grabbed the gun from the floor.

"there he goes" Silas commented, letting out a dark chuckle. "c'mon, come here and look at me in the eye."

I stole a glance at Chris, who was subtly staring at me with almost unnoticeable nervousness in his eyes.

"Wait" all of them turned to me. "he doesn't wanna do it." before Silas could protest, I gave him a knowing smirk "doesn't have what it takes"

"sweetheart, it's done" Silas made himself more comfortable before looking at Arturo again. "someone gotta play now, so go ahead"

I wasn't going to allow that to happen.

"I wanna play." I stated, standing up. "and I definitely got what it takes" I made my way to then, noticing how Chris' breath hitched, making him swallow the smoke and causing him to cough. "c'mon give me the gun"

Arturo gave me the gun, not before looking at Silas for approval. "Okay sweetheart" the man sitting before me let out a chuckle. "same rules. Gun against your head and eyes on me"

"Silas, c'mon" Petra, who had stayed silent until then, spoke with a trembling voice. "don't- babe, let's drop it."

"Nope, babydoll" the man replied. "c'mon Y/n, make the roulette spin, will you?" it took me a second, but I managed to made the cylinder spin without looking at it. "atta girl."

"baby, quit it" I heard Chris voice, but I didn't really listen to it. "leave it, c'mon" I took a deep, shaky breath, and, when I felt my eyes watering, I pulled the trigger. "Y/n!"

Nothing happened.

I exhaled, tossing the gun to the floor and shutting my eyes. "Y/n, sweetheart, you're nuts." Silas started to laugh, giving me a surprised look. "it was loaded. You can't let people tell you what to do like that" everyone started to chuckle lightly too.

"it has three bullets inside" I turned to Chris, who was holding the gun with the cylinder open. "holy fuck" he managed to feign a laugh and I exited the room, feeling my whole body shaking.

"Chris, go get your crazy girl" Silas said, not able to stop laughing. "go and fuck, she'll calm down!"

I heard heavy steps behind me before a large hand grabbed my forearm, dragging me into a dark room. "what were you thinking" Chris hissed, shutting the door. "what the fucking hell, Y/n?"

"he-" I chewed my lip harsh enough to draw blood, while my back rested against the wall. "there was three bullets, you said it yourself. I knew there was a trick."

"so what?!" he hit the wall besides me, taking a shaky breath "it was damn obvious there was a fucking trick. That's not a reason for you to play the Russian fucking Roulette"

"what if he had killed himself?" I asked, hugging myself in a vain attempt to refrain my goosebumps.

"better him than you"

"Silas gave him the gun because of me. 'cause he was flirting with me" I explained "I didn't want his death in my conscience" I replied, gripping my forearms.

"yeah? Well I didn't want a bullet in your fucking skull and I almost got it" he bit back, choking on the last few words. "do something like that again and you're out"

"you can't fucking do that" I stated. "we're undercover, you can't make me leave."

"fuckin' bet, baby" he growled, trying to pass by me and open the door. He couldn't, though since I put myself between him and the door. "move your ass out of my way, Y/n"

"you really wanted one of the criminals we're chasing to get killed?"

"I swear to fucking God Y/n-"

"Tell me" I shoved him back for him to get away from the door "that you wouldn't have done something like that if you thought it was the right thing to do" when he, instead of replying, growled under his breath with his eyes on the ceiling, I repeated, "fuckin' tell me you wouldn't-"

We heard the door's lock clicking open and I panicked, afraid someone might have heard us.

"fuck"

I took a glance at the door, which was being opened.

"shit" When I turned to Chris again, I barely had time to process that he, with his hands gripping my hips, was backing me against the wall before hurriedly crashing his lips against mines.

"Hey guys- Okay" Toby stood there, holding onto the door frame, for a long minute, watching us making out. "they're fine!" he yelled, turning back to the room where everyone was. "I think they're gonna fuck!- sorry for the interruption, I'll give you some... Privacy"

With that, the door closed again and we were left alone in the dark. It was only when we were sure we were safe, that Chris let go of me.

We stood close to each other, breathing heavily. From my current angle, the moonlight made the tears in his face gleam.

Those tears that I didn't even know were there. Those tears that kept running down his cheeks nonstop.

"what are you fucking looking..."

He went silent when my arms wrapped around him, gripping the back of his jacket with both of my hands.

"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry" I whispered. "but I don't regret it. It was the right thing to do. Arturo didn't deserve that shit, you know it"

"you didn't either" he circled my hips, pulling me flush against him, like I was going to banish. "Goddammit, Y/n. You didn't either" he muffled a brief sob by burying his face deep into the crook of my neck. "God fucking damnit."

"nothing happened, Chris" I mumbled in a shaky breath, bringing him impossibly closer to me. "I'm fine"

"you scared the shit out of me" he muttered under his breath, letting himself rest against me. "I was so fucking terrified-"

"we're alright" I whispered, pulling away to wipe his tears.

After a beat of silence, he leaned on me an planted a tender, careful kiss on my lips. And it was easy to tell that this one wasn't feigned. This one had Chris' actual feelings on it.

"what was that?" I muttered, slightly confused.

"two weeks deep into this and you already put your life on the line three times" he explained with his jaw clenched. "I'll better come clean 'bout my feelings before you do something stupid and get yourself killed." I nodded, not really knowing what to say. "you... Don't have to- we can just keep pretending, it's fine with me" he cleared his throat, fidgeting with the hem of my jacket. "but, just in case, I needed you to know"

I nodded again without letting any word escape my lips. He waited for an answer that didn't come, and after a few seconds, he cleared his throat again and walked to the bed.

I frowned at him sitting on it. "we should wait a bit." he explained "they think we're fucking so-"

"it's gonna make it more complicated" I blurted out, half wining because, damn, I wanted to be with him. To actually be with him.

"why?" he questioned, resting his elbows over his thighs. "because we'll get too attached? Because we'll get hurt if something happens to the other?"

Those questions made me angry because they were, in fact, the reasons I was going to give him. Now that he had said them out loud, I realized they were stupid reasons.

We were already too attached to each other. We would get hurt anyway if something happened to one another.

"Y/n, I need you to say something"

I walked to him, sat on his lap, and caressed both of his cheeks with my hands. "Okay. Let's do this" I replied, pulling him into a kiss that was, by no means, meant to be rough, but ended up being it.

"Listen" he pulled away for an instant to take off his jacket and mine. "don't you fucking dare to play the Russian Roulette ever again."

"Okay" I pulled the tee off my body and tossed it to the floor. "I won't"

"promise you won't do anything stupid" he demanded, leaning to kiss my jaw, just to pull away to throw his shirt besides mine.

"I promise"

"Good" he cupped my cheeks, bringing me closer to kiss my lips. "cause I'm not sure if I'll be able to stay undercover if something happens to your reckless ass"

[briteboy]

(circumstantial name by @earnoodle)

IT’S FINALLY TIME FOR THE POST YOU’VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR (or maybe just that one anon)

there’s a LOT in here, newer questions are generally first so if you asked something a while ago and you’re only interested in that, scroll towards the bottom. also doing wcifs separately (errr i’m gonna try my hardest to ok don’t crucify me)

this mass anons post includes topics ranging from Very Sweet Things Said To Me That I Don’t Deserve, nitpicking stranger things, crying over ramona, lou theories, Cillian Is A Fucking Creep theories (true), and completely unhelpful reshade advice

let’s f0cking do this

You're right, apart from carrying his stupid brain, Santi's head didn't do anything to any of us. I apologize for anon.

I'm pretty sure I said that already but I love Rooney and Santi's relationship so much I literally have no words for it

ME TOO LIKE IT’S JUST SO PURE TWO NOT-KIDS SCARED OF THE ADULT WORLD TRYING TO FIGURE THINGS OUT WITH THEIR WEIRD BRAINS TOGETHER ;__; i love them

YO i didnt know u were a demigirl!! im a demiboy nb Buddies

hell fuckin yeah dude!! we are starting a demi club

Ok but like I really want werewolves. Like I know it sounds stupid but we have vampire and while yes I love my bat babes, I want a giant pupper friend. I have story written out and plans for a cabin to build. Now I’m waiting for EA to give me my big hairy babes.

DUDE i want more supernatural stuff too, mostly witches like I NEED MY WITCHES AGAIN!!! ts3 witches were so good. i didn’t like ts3 werewolves much but i feel like they’d be super cool in ts4, knowing how the vampires came out. i NEED it

hihi! i've been very quietly (??) following your blog for some time now and i just fawn over your characters way too much ?? anywho, i've been wanting to start my own little simblr story but ,, i'm not entirely sure where to even start? i have so many stories that i'd love to get out there, and i have the means.. butt, how did you go about starting out?? so sorry this is so long but i look up to you a whole ton!!! ty ily! :-)

i’m the (??) lmao that’s me always but ahdhghdfkshg thank you so much!!!!! i’m so glad you love them, it means the world to me ;-; and listen, that was me, i had no idea how i was going to do it because i’d only seen ts3 stories up to that point and i thought there was like a set Way to tell stories but i had no idea what i was doing so i was like y’know what...i’m just gonna do it how i feel comfortable doing it and i’m gonna figure it out as i go along. so honestly try to roughly plan out what your stor(ies) will entail and if you get stuck on planning and can’t figure it out, just jump right into it, try to make a few scenes or get the ball rolling somehow, even if it’s just random posts (i mean that’s all my blog was until i decided to commit to santi’s story.) it’s always gonna feel weird and awkward at first, but you’ll get comfortable the more you do it and it’ll figure itself out, trust me!

I read through most of your story posts the other day and now I’m rereading it again just to torture myself some more (and maybe catch up on some posts I may have missed). I honestly don’t think I’ve come across a sims story that’s so beautifully written & includes such evocative pictures as yours. I’m really at a loss for words, it’s all so stunning. & after a nearly two-month long creative block, it’s planted the smallest seed of inspiration in the back of my mind, so thank you for your art.

AHHHH AHSDHKGKDSJG WHAT!!!!! it’s always crazy hearing that 1) people actually care about my stuff, and 2) that it inspires them. like i really cannot believe that, stilL!! thank you so so much, i’m so happy you enjoyed it (as torturous as it was, lmao) it seriously warms my heart that you’re getting your groove back in the creative world, that means more to me than ANYTHING!! good luck with your art or whatever you decide to do with that inspiration!

 can i pls have your editing skill please and thank you

i owe most my editing at this point to reshade so honestly get reshade and u will probably become better than me

o added u on animal crossing and when you added me back i was so happy,, your little person is sooo adorable ((:

OMG!! thank you!! everyone’s person on there is adorable i cry i love them all so much i’m so mad tho it won’t let me add any more friends!!! it probably cuts off at like 100 friends or something STUPID

First of all, I love you. Secondly, I love your photos so much. I'm legit about to just ditch sims 3 for 4 now because of your amazing posts. 😖

LMFAO no but really THANK YOU I LOVE YOU!!! if you can manage playing both i admire u, i’ve invested too much time and effort into ts4 to ever fully go back to any other sims games tbh

The new patch made my game unplayable! I'm crying, I miss my doggos...

NOOOOO!!! hopefully by now you’ve found a fix, i’m prayin for u

long time listener, first time caller yoooo. i like everyone love your stories and your sim aesthetic so so so much and just tbh i was offended on your behalf about that ask from that person wanting to novelize your stories. like you were way too nice. this is your intellectual property and it's fucked up that someone would think it'd be okay to duplicate it as long as they used a different medium. this is prob a bad one to repost just wanted to you to know you're an awesome, singular voice

omfg lmao this is a radio show now *z100 voice* tellem why ya mad euhhh first of all i can’t believe someone even ASKED that, i’m in shock because like what this is so foreign to me. people want to write about MY characters WHAT! like that alone...takes a long time to process. and like i know i should say no but then i feel mean but they’re also my creations so like idk. it warms my heart that you feel so strongly and would stand up for me like that i’m cryin thank u for calling in i love u

I JUST FINISHED YOUR ENTIRE STORY AND I'M NOT OK WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE PUTTING ME THROUGH THAT SHIT IT'S AN EMOTIONAL ROLLER COASTER AND I FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE ABUSED MY (NON EXISTENT) INNOCENCE WOW

I’M SO SORRY U HAD TO GO THROUGH THAT ALSO I APOLOGIZE FOR STEALING YOUR INNOCENCE I NEVER MEANT FOR THIS TO HAPPEN OSDAFKJDSK BUT THANK YOU FOR READING I’M GLAD YOU ENJOYED IT EVEN IF IT HURT YOU!!!

I've been up all night and it's now 11am. I'm completely binging on your stories bc I am in LOVE and need a Molly in my game asap. Do you think you'll ever upload her?

omG my freaking story inciting insomnia i’m so sorry for ur sleep schedule first of all, but at least that makes you identify with santi even more omg tho ;___; (how many times will i say ‘omg’ i wonder) i don’t think so because she is so dear to me and makes my heart ache, she is just so special, i dunno if i could ever release her into the wild like that lmao. i haven’t even shared her with my friends (not that i really ever had a reason to) but like yeah. maybe in the future that’ll change but right now, no, i’m sorry <3

To change the topic: Idk if you watch stranger things but I only managed to get to episode 3 of season 2 before I stopped watching lmao it was so bad and Billy (a certified Cunt) ruined the whole show for me

YEAH I DID! omg. i have a LOT of issues with this season (mostly in how badly they tried to retcon nancy and everyone else not caring about barb’s death, how bad the writing was in the realm of nancy and steve breaking up and then her and jonathan getting together...holy fuck it was so uncomfortable with that 40 yr old conspiracy theorist guy i couldn’t even enjoy my ship getting together lmao) also ur right, max and billy honestly did not offer anything to the story...like i loved max too but what was the point...billy acted like their presence and the reason they had to move was so dramatic when it was really nothing...unless they’re saving that for season 3 but like. the whole situation with billy was so anticlimactic. he was like a walmart version of henry from IT. like boohoo ur dad’s an asshole and then he beat up steve. good character arc. i liked max standing up for herself but really...that whole thing was so lackluster, i didn’t care about it at all. ALSO I HATED THAT THEY DIDN’T LET MAX AND ELEVEN BE FRIENDS!! i’m sure it’ll happen in season 3 but like c’mon...that would’ve made the max character feel a little more important to the story. anyway yeah fuck billy and i don’t get why everyone is lusting after him or his actor they’re both ugly! thanks for listening

I just got the sims 4 + city living and I’m so excited! I was really inspired by your stories and style in general... I was wondering what packs do you have and also what are your favourite sims 4 hairs? I’m having trouble finding ones and I love your style!

YAY I’M EXCITED FOR YOU!!! omg aww it warms my heart so much when people say i inspire them because i never anticipated that kind of response, thank you so much <3 hmmm i think i have all of them except glamour stuff and fitness stuff. and pretty much all the hairs i download are here or here. (or the subsequent ‘tf’, ‘cf’, ‘tm’ and ‘cm’ tags as well, according to age)

UHM a 19 year old and a 13 year old? Poor baby Lou... Also youre a brilliant writer i cant

😬😬😬  stay tuned ajasdhjhjsahd thank you so much!!!

My stan levels for you have increased so much? like thanks for being a good ally, clAps for femmesim!

lmao thank you, i don’t really deserve praise tho i’m just passing on the knowledge of those patient enough to teach me. just trying to do what i can with my privilege u know. ily

How do you have teeth showing in so many of your pictures of Lou and Molly, do you PS them in?

i’ve gotten this question before and it’s usually just the poses used! i do have some lipsticks that have teeth on them but i mostly use them for just rooney.

Honestly, a fight between Santi and that new guy (srry, forgot his name while typing this) would be so hot. Like, I hope Santi would win but like just watching Santi fight him for Lou would make me happy!! Also, I live for your stories💞

omG i’m about to call up vince mcmahon they both need to fight on smackdown it’s gonna happen. they’ll both be shirtless too ok and THANK YOU ILY

boi poc can be PREJUDICED against white people but there is no such thing as reverse racIIIIIIiiiiIIIIIiiiIIIIsm

Lemme just say that you must be feeling so stressed rn. I love you and your simblr!!! Your posts light up my day!! <3333

OMg kind of. this week has taken A Lot out of me and i really just want to chill at home and play my freaking GAME but obligations. u know. here’s hoping i get a day off this week. i’m mad i’m probably gonna miss gianni’s birthday too (it’s on tuesday) and i wanted to do something for it!! i’ll probably do it late like i did last year too lmao i’m so sorry baby g ANYWAY u didn’t ask to hear about any of this...thank you for this sweet message i love you <3

why,,,, are people... coming to your blog to discuss race you are a fucking simblr WHAT

the real question is why do people go to you like its your job to educate them lmao like theres so many resources out there

SHAWDY u aint wrong reverse racism is literally a joke i am so sorry you have to go through all of this keep stepping on white feelings we deserve it

I was wondering would u consider Asians to be POC?

yes

I just finished Strange the Dreamer and it was fucking amazing. I cried so much and I laughed and I sat in absolute amazement at the world Laini Taylor has created. 100/10 would recommend

ahhhh i really need to read it apparently!! i’m like 10% away from being done with a dance with dragons (and then i have to wait for the next book like a peasant HURRY UP KING GEORGE) anyway this one is definitely on my list!

omgomg!! I just met this girl in my class who has eyes just like ramona's!!! But like instead of being brown w/ a little bit of blue, they were blue w/ a little bit of brown!!! Dude I was so shook I rlly didn't think ppl had eyes like that!

OMG!!!! that’s amazing! and yes heterochromia is a real thing haha. i’ve only met one person with it and he had the same color combo as ramona too, only his was full heterochromia, not sectoral.

*me in the background screaming* nO yOU LEAVE HER ALoNE baD-DAD-MaN!

ME TF TOO

every time i read some of your stories i get an ache in my heart that doesn't go away until i either cry or sleep so interpret that as you like

OMG ;_____; ok me too tho my heart literally hurts thinking about my characters sometimes...mostly santi...i hate him (no i don’t :{ )

hey uhh idk if you've answered something like this before but do you have a spotify or something bc your music taste is GOLD

THANK YOU!! you were the first person to ask about this haha and hopefully you saw my answer to the other question about it! i just made one and it’s here!

hi hi ! i’m seeing all the drama on da blog and i really want to read the whole story but i can’t get to it on mobile so i was wondering if you could link the beginning and tell me what the best order to read it in is ( i’m so confused because i’ve seen sm people y’all about a parallel story so idk if i’m being dumb !! ) i hope this isn’t any inconvenience also your sims are so beautiful sjajsjajs

hey on mobile the link is just: http://femmesim.tumblr.com/tagged/story/chrono i would honestly just recommend that order haha, it makes things simpler and it encompasses ALL story posts, or posts that give context. there are parallels in my story, lou’s is kind of a parallel of santi’s, only different...well...you’ll see. but yeah sorry this is so late! and thank you!!!

TU HISTORIA ES TAAAAAN BUENA POR DIOOOOS (YOURE STORY IS SOOOOO GOOD OMG) <3 <3 *OO* *cries in spanish*

MUCHAS GRACIAS ENCANTADORA PERSONAAAA <333

lou is wendy right? i mean, a wendy complex is someone who is overly mothering to partners, and lou is already a mother and ik that doesn't really count as foreshadowing but it seems like it could be a link to me. it'd make sense too, considering guys that go after younger girls (ew) are usually immature ie peter pan complex. it'd make the most sense that those two go together then.

heheheheh that is a VERY good observation...that’s all i’m gonna say!!

This has nothing to do with what's happening in the story rn, but whatever. I was wondering if you were going to mention lou's struggles with being a single mom and the stigma surrounding single motherhood? As a single mother myself I'd really enjoy seeing you take on the issue. Personally, my biggest problem was overcoming the generalizations people put on you when you're a single mom. People always assumed that I that I was stupid and uneducated because I had my son when I was 17.

yes! that will definitely come up. i will focus a lot on her struggles as a single mom. so far i’ve mostly just peppered in some stuff about money troubles, and that will come up again, and the issues you mention will be pretty central to her character as well. i’m sorry you have to endure that, it’s not fair. people don’t even realize how strong and dedicated single mothers are.

when you say Peter Pan, do you mean the Disney stuff or the og creepy stuff?

i mean the general themes of the story and how that translates into a peter pan complex: boy who never grows up, feels like he fits in more with younger people (haha...yikes), read the message above because that anon described the other half of the equation better than i could

Wait, hold up. That dude is cute but I feel like he’s coming onto Lou way too strong. I have a bad feeling.. Lou is like 13 there and he is 19 I mean I’ve seen bigger gaps between people, but she is not legal yet.. Where are you going with this? 🤨😅

yyyyyyep that feeling is warranted! i am going a way i don’t think you guys expect me to go...i think you’ll be very confused at the end of this part lmao. that being said, i’m not putting any of this in for shock value or to romanticize inappropriate relationships like this. (i’m probably going to be repeating that a LOT for this story but please just keep that in mind)

Hey mom wanna hear a fun as hell story? I just got back from the ER bc I fell on my razor after showering, and practically cut my nipple in half. (I am in so much pain hELP)

OMFG NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOUR POOR NIPPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’M SO SORRY I HOPE IT FEELS BETTER PLEASE UPDATE ME ON THE NIPPLE STATUS

U gotta watch sense8!!! Apart from the v awkward sex scenes it's v good, has a lot of representation and shit Just watch that shit show, u won't regret it (And if you do I cut your throat oops)

i’ve heard it’s good! i remember when it first came out and everyone was like Wow The Representation so honestly anything with diversity has already got me hooked pls don’t murder me.

I'm calling it now. He's Fi's dad. and he's a FUCKING CREEP!! Bitch you are 19!! LOU IS 13!! BACK THE FUCK OFF YOU PERV!!

no spoilers or anything but honestly i’m with you @ cillian die

Are they gonna fucc, o no

right now? no. that would be Very Bad

bABY ITS COLD OUTSIDE

oh same

Hi ! Your lastest edit (graveyard girl) is truly amazing, how did you make that bokeh behind her ? 😱😍

thank you so much!!! it’s reshade (with matso DOF)!

You've probably got this question a lot of times but i can't find the answer for it. What reshade do you use?

i gotta add this to my faq, it’s one i created myself but i started out with this one (it totally doesn’t resemble that one anymore but i think it’s a good starting point)

how do you make good looking male sims? mine always look the same and kinda girly..

hmmm longer faces, prominent chins and jaws, smaller eyes, bigger noses...generally yeah

What do you mean 9 + alt?

you gotta turn bb.moveobjects on and then press alt + 9 when an object is selected to move it upward. so what i did with those poses i made was, i selected a teleporter and pressed alt + 9 until it was at a spot i liked on the roof. that’s why releasing those poses would be tricky, ‘cause every build is different so there’s no set way to place them, you just kinda have to play around with them

You mentioned GoT so naturally, I have to chime in and express my love for Jon. Honestly, he won me over ever since the first season? I'm at season 5 now and people have already warned me so now i'm silently weeping, waiting for something to happen to my precious bby help

JONNY BOY!!!!!!!!!!! i loved his emo ass since the beginning but his arc with qorin halfhand (was he in the show??) was probably the best arc in book 2 and then his book 3 arc was just...SO GOOD, SO MUCH happens to him and i just felt like i was watching my son go through it all...i love that boy so much ;-; i’m almost at the end of the last book and i’m scared for him because of the one spoiler i know lmao and you’re at that point too so GET READY we’ll go through it together ok

So there's this game I'm playing where someone talking about another character says 'maybe you can break him from his ouroboros of self-fladulation' (I know I probably butchered those spellings but I'm not a bright egg and autocorrect isn't helping rip) and tbh it made me think of Santi. (Also I'mma scream of you get this reference jsyk)

OMG THE FACT THAT YOU THOUGHT OF HIM ;-; and it’s okay u are the brightest egg in the bunch to me. I’M SORRY I DON’T GET THIS REFERENCE BECAUSE I’M NOT A VIDEO GAME PERSON BUT I’LL PRETEND I DO KNOW WHAT UR TALKING ABOUT anyway yes santi is currently in the process of breaking his self-flagellation and embracing the oneness of the ouroboros (as opposed to letting the cycle repeat itself until he’s worn down to nothing)

do you have any favorite pose creators?

answered

do you have any tips for taking good screenshots in game? like how to get the good angles and good quality? i play on ultra but i think when i zoom in and then use the arrows on my keyboard to move around, the pictures gets less clear and looks kinda blurry. how should i do this?

well if you’re already using ultra, there’s not much you can do lmao. sims 4 is just bad with textures in general. it also depends on the objects as well, some are better quality than others. if i zoom in far on a sim’s face, i generally know there will be some pixelation and i can clean that up in photoshop with topaz clean and the smudge tool. i am very reliant on photoshop sometimes lmao. it sounds like you already have the basics of taking good screenshots, it’s just sometimes you have to fight and work with sims 4′s less-than-hd quality.

burn it down by daughter reminds me of santi & i'm in pain

ouroboros!!! death! birth! death again! birth again rinse repeat! also santi breaking the cycle because third time's the charm

The tattoo is an Ouroboros. It originated in Egyptian iconography, and it symbolizes recreation. My boy's recreating himself, I'm so proud.

ouroboros, the dragon eating its own tail. it's a sign of eternal renewal

i saw the post of child molly and just started BAWLING i miss her what the fuck she's my fave character i'M CRYING

ME TOO BICH!! ME FUCKIN TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i just read all of A Serious Case Of The Novembers so far and theres still tears on my face. some of the best stuff ive read in a while, great job on everything

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! ALSO I’M SORRY FOR MAKING YOU CRY

every time you write about molly and her in heaven it makes my heart swell, like the characters were answering asks and someone asked her what heaven was like and even though it was so small short lil answer it still pulls at the heart strings, basically what im trying to say is that your writing is so good! <3

omg ;_______; me too, i feel like she has such a simple way with words and although her descriptions of heaven are brief, they are also complex and beautiful, and even just writing it chokes me up ;-; thank you so much tho i’m so glad you like it!!

Molly: out Molly tatto: also out

why did this remind me of this post:

How did you edit in the fire in the last post? Looks cool

i searched things like “bonfire” and pasted parts of it that i wanted on the pic to make it look more realistic, then put a layer mask on the pasted pic and erased the edges and stuff to make it blend in better. the sparks and stuff i added by pasting it onto a new layer and changing the blending mode to screen! 

idk if you have every watched grey anatomy but Lou's backstory is starting to remind me of Jo (Jo is a character from the show) like Jo was in a abusive relationship and she is married to the guy but she cant get divorced or he will come and find her. So like if Lou didn't tell Fiona's dad he was a dad and Lou was married to him and cant escape the marriage (cause abuse), plus it would explain Lou's kink with being choked ;) full circle *god-like heaven music with tiniest violin is playing now*

ooh no i don’t but that’s interesting and i’m excited you even made a connection like that! i will say that it’s not lou who likes to be choked (the very opposite actually lmao) but otherwise the situation does kinda fit. i’m the violin

I have a freakin bio pre ap test tomorrow on photosynthesis and i have no idea what it is im going to fail save me

I’M ANSWERING THIS VERY LATE BUT I HOPE YOUR TEST WENT WELL!!!!!! *spongebob voice* photosynthesis

last time I installed reshade I couldn't get it to open the controls or shaders or anything in game :///// any tips?? I love they way reshade looks too!!

hmmmmm well i know the control panel opens when you press shift + f2, and then you check the boxes of the effects you want on them. i haven’t heard of this problem so i dunno what other advice to give i’m sorry :{ if it’s your first time installing it, you might have to wait a little to get it to load up.

Da puppy is so cute!!!

That dog and Romona are so adorable, I might cry

Ramona's cheeks are so big im in love

NAJKSDJGKJSD THANK YOU i love her and her chubby cheeks ;-;

OMG TOTORO IS SO BEAUTIFUL I LOVE GHIBLI UGH FKSJFJANFB

SAME!!!!!!! if i could only watch ghibli movies for the rest of my life i’d be totally fine with that

THE DOGGIE HAS EYES JUST LIKE RAMONAS IM GONNA FUCKIGN CRY

ME FUCKGN TOO!!!!!!!!!! it was fate (aka me creating the wolf pup to look just like her shh i am fate)

Hope I'm not bothering you but i wondered if you knew how to make Tamo sims eyebags work on a toddler? Do I just click in s4s to work for toddler on the "age and gender flags" when looking in My CC or do I have to do something a little more than that please? Thank you.

for any skin detail or makeup, you have to go into s4s and open the package up, go to one of the tabs (honestly i don’t remember which one because i don’t have it open rn lmao) and you’ll see the different age groups and you check the box for toddler. and then save it of course. (there’s probably a better guide on how to do this somewhere lmao)

Hey :) Sorry to take up your time, I was wondering if you use win7, win8 or win10? I'm trying to decide on one and people seem to have very strong feelings about it. Also what web browser do you use? I've used Firefox, but I had some problems on CC websites. Thanks<3

i use windows 10 because it came with my laptop lmao i honestly don’t know much about windows systems at all!! and i use google chrome because it’s never failed me (even though windows keeps pressuring me to use the new internet explorer called “edge”)

i just finished all of novembers in a sitting and 1. i'm Sobbing, 2. your music taste is bomb

THANK YOU!!! my music taste is like one part indie shit, one part rap and hip-hop, twelve parts emo middle school bands

what is the size of the original unedited screenshot?

1920x1080

For reshade when your first install and select the reshade you want to use do you have to edit the settings? Cause last time I tried to (I didn’t know what most of the things meant lmao) but it kept saying error or something so I couldn’t play the game so I ended up taking out reshade

do you mean the preset you want to use? i mean no you can just play with that preset, you don’t have to change anything about it. i’m not sure what you mean but i followed this guide for setting it up

Will you ever share your preset?? Or maybe a preset made be you??

i’ve answered this before but the answer is Maybe

Hi!!!! How do you make the rays of light you have in your photos?? THANK U BBY <3333

that’s actually in my editing tutorial but here you go <3

is reshade only available on windows + do we need to pay for it

yes and no

Hello love! I was wondering (and maybe it's a dumb question, idk) but what life span setting do you use? I would assume you turned off aging for your story but maybe I'm wrong ;w; Thank you!!

i do actually have aging off ‘cause i’m a coward lmao even in the ts3 days when i wasn’t doing story stuff and literally just playing i had it off for the most part and just aged sims up when i wanted because i like to be in control of Everything (aries)

I really just wanted to say that I’m new I your tumblr but your stories are amazing and I love them so much!!! Keep doing what you’re doing💞👏🏼

hey thank you!!! you are so kind and i’m glad you’re enjoying everything!!

In your reshade settings where have you set it to save your SS's to and which key please? I can't find mine after setting it to desktop/screenshots :(

i just set mine to ts4′s screenshots folder because it’s what i was used to and it works for me haha. hmmmmmm did you copy the exact address or whatever it’s called of your folder’s location and then paste it into the reshade box? try doing that with another location and see if it works. if anything you can do what i did ‘cause it worked for me 

ok SO i came across this music video for this like spanish/english speaking indie band called The Marías and the song was déjate llevar and literally everything about the music video reminded me of rooney and gianni

OMMMGGG i love this so much, i cry @ music suggestions and this is so them ;-; i think i’ve heard of this band before actually!!

a little life is going to fucking ruin you,,, just a warning

great! i look forward to it

can a steal ur talent

have it i don’t need it

What app are you using to make them cool edit things??

i tagged it but it was doodle face

omg Strange the Dreamer is so freaking amazing! It’s literally one of my favorite books of all time; You’ll love it. The writing is absolutely delightful

you guys are really singin the praises for this book!! i have so many dang books to read i swear

[obviouslyelementary]

Warm red hair

THAT WAS NOT THE FULL STORY SRRY

TAG LIST: @give-me-a-minute-to-think @the-jo-writes-and-draws @nebulastep @dan-yuna @the-moon-and-stars-my-love

Five years had passed since the war.

 He wasn’t even sure why he had come to visit.

 He didn’t feel like he had the right to.

 The students look at him like he is a monster. Voldemort himself. But worst. An enemy that had no courage to be evil. A friend that had no courage to fight back.

 Maybe he liked the pain.

 He liked to feel it burn.

 Inside his soul.

 Inside his heart.

 Maybe when he looked at the fixed hallways, he felt hope. Hope of nothing like that ever happening again.

 Hope was something he hadn’t felt in a long time.

 The teachers pretend they don’t see him walking by. The ones that can’t do that barely give him a nod. One stops. She looks at him, asks him how he’s doing. He feels grateful.

 He walked down the hallways, through passages and roads. He knew many faces inside that school. People that were in the second year when the war came are now almost graduated. Five years is nothing.

 And yet five years in everything.

 He changed in five years. But the world didn’t change towards him.

 Then, he sees them, and freezes. He doesn’t expect them to be there, he doesn’t want to talk to them, he doesn’t want them to know he is there. Anything, any look or spit or slam is better than their judging eyes.

 They see him anyway. It is too late to run one more time.

 “Malfoy?”

 She is the first that speaks up.

 He feels cold, sad, hurting. His eyes burn and threat to tear up but he can’t afford losing any more of what he has already lost. His pride is to a minimum. He has nothing left.

 “Granger. Potter. Weasley”

 He doesn’t know how his voice comes out so even.

 He looks down at their feet, because he doesn’t want to look in their eyes. Why would he? He knows what he will see. Surprise, hatred, betrayal.

 He hasn’t left the house since the war ended for a reason. The reason was right in front of him, specially.

 Sometimes, in moments like these, he regrets not forgetting the hatred of the past and becoming friends with the Weasley in that first day of school.

 Maybe he would have had a chance, if he had ever been one of the golden four.

 He hears and sees them stepping closer. He closes his eyes for a second, and a second only, and raises his face, because it is rude to talk to other people while staring down.

 When he looks up, he has only a second of vision before arms wrap around him in a hug.

 His eyes widen. His mind turns. His heart swells.

 That pair of arms is slowly followed by another, more delicate ones, but just as strong. A third pair follows, hesitant, big and warm.

 He blinks slowly, because he has no idea of what is happening.

 But he likes it.

 “I thought I would never see you again, Malfoy” Potter says, after that awkward moment is gone and the trio is standing in front of him. Potter is grinning from ear to ear. Granger has a small smile on her face. Weasley seems content, though it is only seen through his eyes.

 “Call me Draco, please” he says, but inside he begs. They don’t like the Malfoy name anymore. Not for a while. Not until it is clean again.

 “Draco... how have you been?” Granger is the next. She tilts her head and leans against Weasley. He has an arm around her waist. He always knew. Those two were meant to be. Probably why he never let his own crush for the know-it-all go much further than insults and stolen glances in the monitor’s rooms.

 “Fine” he answers shortly. He doesn’t want to talk about himself. His life is a desperate boring mess. “How about you three? I have heard you are all training to be aurors”

 “We are almost there, in fact. Next year we are receiving our first jobs” Weasley says, proudly. He nods. Tries to smile. He hasn’t smiled in a long time. He is afraid it will look foolish. Weasley doesn’t seem to mind.

 “I thought we would be tired of fighting after everything but... I suppose we were born for it” Potter completes, his eyes shining. He looks happy. He is glad. Potter deserves to be happy after everything.

 “And you? What are you training for?” Granger asks, once again.

 Sometimes he wishes he could just tell her to shut up again. He doesn’t want to talk about him.

 “Nothing” he says. The silence rules for a few seconds, making everything awkward. He hates himself. He wants to leave.

 He doesn’t remember if he took his potions that morning. He hopes so.

 “How are the Malfoys?” Potter asks, and he doesn’t know if he wants to break the ice or just humiliate him even further. Both sound plausible.

 “Living. One day at a time” he says, slowly, because there is no point in lying. “Paying for our mistakes one day at a time”

 The silent returns. Now it is heavy. So heavy. He feels sick. Now he is sure he didn’t take his potions that morning. Or maybe he did. He doesn’t remember.

 Some days they make him bright. Some others, they make it all dull.

 “You know that nothing that happened is really your fault, right?”

 Oh. Sometimes he wants to kiss her. Sometimes he wants to slash her throat.

 “I am one hundred percent sure that if it wasn’t, we wouldn’t be paying as much as we are”

 The silence is even worst. Why don’t they leave? Give an excuse? Why they insist in talking to him?

 “Draco”

 He stops. Turns to them. Their eyes are filled with pity and sorrow. He doesn’t feel as bad as he thought he would.

 “If you ever need anything” he continues. He is surprised. It isn’t Potter nor Granger who offers help. It’s him.

 Weasley.

 Why Weasley?

 “We don’t. We have more than we need” he says. He is talking about money. He knows Weasley isn’t. He says it in hope that he will be angry, or annoyed, and stop pressuring. But apparently, not only Potter and Granger changed.

 Weasley walks forward, puts a hand on his shoulder.

 “Malfoy. Draco. Enough with these family rivalries. We have nothing to do with them. I am tired of wasting my energy in things that aren’t worth it” he says, and his smile is as warm as the sun. He feels so cold, like the moon. “Everything is over. Why can’t we start again?”

 He doesn’t feel like he is worth someone like him.

 People like them.

 Blue, green and brown meet gray in a soft dance. The song is slow. The ambiance is calm. Nothing feels wrong. Everything feels right. The sun rises and they are so warm. Grey is so cold. But it feels itself warming up.

 “I don’t want your pity, Weasley”

 “Ron, please” he says, and the smile never leaves. He is sick of it. But he also needs it. “Call me Ron”

 This feels wrong.

 Longbottom should be here. Lovegood. The female Weasley. Blaize, Pansy, Crab, Goyle. Anyone. He betrayed them. He had the chance to choose. He made a mistake, he was saved, and yet he returned to the wrong side.

 Why would they give him a chance?

 Why him?

 He only notices he is crying when Weasley’s expression changes. His eyes widen and he pulls away, rubbing his eye with his sleeve and turning around, away from the trio, away from their sight.

 He can’t cry in front of them, he can’t!

 But he already has.

 He has cried in front of Potter before.

 He is sure Granger heard him once or twice.

 They had probably told Weasley already so there was no hiding anymore.

 But in front of them?

 Like a useless, weak baby?!

 That was all he was, anyway.

 Just like his father. Weak. Dispensable. Useless.

 Weak. Weak. Weak.

 They touch him again. On his shoulder.

 Like a toy, he falls, legs trembling. His knees hit the ground as the first sob comes out. It is loud and regretful and it shows how weak he is. How weak he has always been.

 He knew he shouldn’t have left. He shouldn’t have come here. But he did. And now he has to deal with the consequences of his actions.

 The trio surrounds him as if they had always been friends.

 As if whatever hatred and distrust between them had never existed.

 There is an arm around his shoulders, someone holds his hands and someone else caresses his head.

 He doesn’t want to know who is who.

 He cries for what feels like hours. It’s probably a few minutes.

 He doesn’t want to open his eyes.

 “Do you want us to leave?”

 Her voice is very soft.

 He nods slowly.

 One by one, they let go. He rubs his eyes then, and takes a few deep breaths.

 When he opens his eyes, they are gone.

 He hears no steps, no movement.

 He stands, wondering if it was all a dream.

 If he is so desperate that he is imagining things.

 That he is so lonely that he creates fake company.

 That he is so sorry that he presents himself with the three, specifically.

 That he wishes everything had been different, and he had chosen the side that hurt less.

 It has to be a dream. They would never forgive him. Not after all he had done. Not after all he had ruined. Not after all those years of pain and suffering he put them through. Not after the war. Not after the betrayal.

 He stands and fixes himself, checks his hair and clothes.

 And as he folds his sleeve.

 He sees a warm red hair.

[foxthefanboi]

Supernatural Appreciation Week - Day Two:        ↳ Side Character Who Deserved Better - Kevin Tran

[pinkykitten]

Moving In

The Good Doctor

Neil Melendez x autistic & white! female reader

Warning: little break down in the middle

Specifics: romance, fluff, one-shot, autistic reader

People: neil melendez, audrey lim

Words: 1,446

Requested: By @the-gang-makes-a-tmblr (cannot tag) Oh okay it was neil and reader moving into his place as the next step in the relationship.

Authors Note: im very sappy today i guess lol this turned out verrrrryyyyyyy fluffy which is my fav. again for the millionth time to all u darlings im so srry for the wait! ༼ ༎ຶ ෴ ༎ຶ༽

As you looked at all your things that were packed in your old apartment you remembered when Neil had asked you to move in with him. 

It was another day in the hospital, you and him were working on a patient in surgery. As you were stitching Neil just popped the question, being truly genuine. “So I was thinking, would you like to move to the next level and move in with me?” You were in shock. Your mouth hanging open at the thought that you and Neil would be with each other almost 24/7. You do love Neil and this is what you wanted, you wanted to move to the next level. You were just scared, scared that maybe it was heading too fast, that it was changing. Maybe change was good. With your hands coated in blood you made sure not to touch Neil’s face as you brought yourself to kiss him. “Of course I’ll move in with you. I love you.”

Neil gave you a look of adornment, searching your eyes. “Okay then its settled. I’ll help you move.” He gave you another quick kiss and smiled, his dimples showing. 

“Wow,” Audrey said as she cleaned herself since the surgery ended. 

“What?”

“I’m just surprised,” she shrugged. You felt odd talking to her about your relationship with Neil. You know that the two of them have history with each other and you didn’t want any harsh feelings. “Didn’t see this coming.”

“You and me both,” you laughed. “But I feel this is the right step. I do love him and do want to spend the rest of my life with him so I think we’re going in the right direction.”

Audrey nodded, “just make sure its what you want and its not going too fast for you.”

You smiled, the excitement overwhelming you as you stashed everything in boxes and taped it up. Calling Neil on the phone you tell him your done and you can tell he is equally as excited as you. He is really happy about this and that makes you feel overjoyed and it makes you feel you are doing the right thing.

“Well I’m coming over there now, talk to you later babe. Love you.” 

You chuckled and kissed the phone, “love you more.”

You waited for him and he did end up there at your house. You didn’t have a lot of items to move since you didn’t live in such an extravagant home. It was just a tiny apartment for all your necessities. As you loaded things into his car you felt the happiness and just the feeling like you were on top of the world. 

You wrapped your arms around Neil’s broad shoulders, “I con’t believe we’re doing this.”

Neil kissed your forehead, “I know, but I couldn’t be happier. I want to spend my life with you, I want to be with you. I’m just excited to have you in my arms when we sleep and for me to make you breakfast every morning.”

You giggled at that and so did he, “or well try to do it every morning.”

You hugged him and placed your head on his chest, “I know we’ll be happy. I can’t wait for all those things too.” You kissed his neck and gave him a beaming smile. “C’mon then, lets go to your house!”

“Our house.”

Leading him into the car, you hop right in,  “right, our house.”

You were in awe of his house. It was way more high tech and big than your tiny apartment. You were amazed about everything. Feeling like a princess or a queen you were humble and acknowledged that you didn’t deserve such nice things like this. But Neil came in and reassured you that you did deserve these things and that they belonged to you now as well. You felt you were rich, this was totally going to be a new experience. 

As you two cleaned the house and got set into emptying the boxes a song came on the radio that Neil loved. 

“Oh wow, an oldy.” He chuckled as he stood up and put his hand out to you. “Would you like to dance, my beautiful lady?”

You bit your lip and nodded, “I would love to dance, good sir.”

The song To Be Loved was on. You two slow danced in the empty space that soon would be filled with your things and his combined. Neil started to sing to you, “To be loved to be loved ohhhhh what a feeling to be loved.” He sang these lyrics to you, his eyes looking in your eyes. You smiled, the last part where it cuts a little for the music, Neil dips you. Your cheeks turning into a bright pink, being this close to him. He puts his hands on your soft cheeks and brings his lips to yours. You bring your hands to his hair and push him deeper to kiss you. Your lips move in sync like if they too were dancing. “I love you y/n.”

“I love you more.”

You two ordered pizza and drank wine as you were almost finished with unpacking. As you two were taking a break where Neil was watching tv while you made dessert you stared at all your items placed in their own rightful place. Your heart started to beat fast and you were starting to have a break down. Your autism was getting the better of you. You were starting to panic to not understand and in that moment reality set in. Your world to you was moving too fast, you were scared. Your cheeks started to flush and tears started to pour out of your eyes. Neil was not alarmed until you dropped a baking pan on the floor causing a loud noise.

Neil turned his head towards you, “hey babe what happened - hey, hey whats wrong?” He was deeply concerned, by your side in seconds. His strong arms wrapped themselves around you. You cried more into his chest, feeling embarrassed and a disappointment, a nuisance. “Its okay, talk to me. Whats wrong?” He looked at your face, wiping your tears away as he kissed both your cheeks. 

“I just feel maybe this is moving too fast.” You thought Neil would be irate with you but he was calm and understanding. He nodded, “alright, now when did you start to feel this?”

“Just now, I think I was having a panic attack or something.”

“Did you feel this way this morning?” You shook your head at his question. “No, I was happy, excited. I want this.”

“You just got scared for a minute there?”

You nodded as you bit your lips, “I want his more than anything Neil. I just, reality set in and terrified me.” Neil brought you into an embrace and kissed the top of your head. “Its okay to be scared, I get scared too. Change is sometimes terrifying, to not know whats going to happen. But sometimes in life, in order to live it, sometimes we need to take a leap of faith. I’m proud of you for doing this and for accomplishing something this huge, you should be proud of yourself too. Also, just because we’re living together doesn’t mean you have to do everything I do. I won’t force you to do anything, heck not even sleep in my bed. Its on your terms, whatever makes you feel comfortable.”

You felt so happy with Neil. For once you were in a relationship where someone understood, someone cared for you. He knew the hardships of being you, with autism, life was difficult sometimes but he knows how to get you through it. “If its alright with you,” you said your voice going back to normal and you being excited again. “I would like to sleep in your bed.” Your cheeks were red, feeling bashful to ask him this. Neil gave you a warm smile and kissed you, “of course baby.”

All the boxes got unpacked and you were finally moved in with him. It was a hard day but there were more good things then bad. You two ended up taking a shower together and watching a movie in his bed. 

Your head was on his chest, his arms wrapped around you. You cuddled with him as you made small patterns on his chest with your soft fingers. “Thanks babe, for all this.” You whispered to Neil as you gave small pecks to his neck. Neil smiled and kissed your hand, “no problem sweetheart, I’m happy you moved in. I can’t wait for our days together.”

“I know its gonna be great.”

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