#sqh when i fucking catch you

[parisvalia]

quarterly reminder that when PIDW!binghe burned cang qiong to the ground the lost guanyin pendant most definitely burned with it. just a friendly reminder :)

[lizhly-writes]

hi. it's sqh/yqy again. you're going to need to read the preceding segment of this for it to make sense.

1 - Critical Failure!

The thing about Yue Qingyuan was that he was really fucking good at this whole cultivation thing. It wasn't for nothing that OP protagonist son Bing-ge had to catch Yue Qingyuan in a trap first to get a good chance at killing him! Even now, years before he'd really hit his prime, Yue Qingyuan was the perfect model cultivator, with a strong and expertly trained body, and, relevantly to this situation, actually pretty fast and possessed of a very good reaction time.

All this to say, Shang Qinghua got out the window.

He did not get much further than the window, because Yue Qingyuan also dove out the window (gracefully!) and (less gracefully!) proceeded to bodily tackle Shang Qinghua.

There was some rolling and shouting and flailing involved. Let it not be said that Shang Qinghua went down without a fight! Or at least without some screaming and crying!

Yue Qingyuan still managed to pin Shang Qinghua down, because of course he did.

"I'm not a chair, stop sitting on me!"

"Just a moment, I really do--" Yue Qingyuan paused to deal with Shang Qinghua's elbow to his face and also slam it down so Shang Qinghua couldn't elbow him again -- "appreciate -- your concern. But there's really no need to bother Shen-shidi with these things, so if you could just -- hold still--"

"Hahaha, no way bro!" Shang Qinghua said, and bit him.

Was this a smart decision? Not really, but it sure was satisfying!

Yue Qingyuan made a noise that could have been an aborted swear. "Shang-shidi, I don't think that was necessary."

"Necessary is a subjective term!" Shang Qinghua said. "It's necessary to turn in paperwork, but have you seen how many people I need to chase down for that?? Clearly the definition isn't universal!"

"That's not the same --"

"It's absolutely the same!"

"You don't bite them!"

"And what if I did? Maybe I should!! Maybe they'll learn to fill out the requisition forms correctly then!!!"

"That isn't--" Yue Qingyuan exhaled. "This isn't... are you... still going to tell Qingqiu?"

"I don't know, am I???"

"It's... private. Please don't tell him."

"If I don't, will you?"

Yue Qingyuan laughed. It was an empty and unpleasant sound. "He wouldn't want me reminding him how I failed." His head drooped down, closer to Shang Qinghua's chest. "I broke my promise, Shang-shidi. Who wants to hear about that again?"

...Was Yue Qingyuan about to cry on him?

.Wow! This situation was already uncomfortable! It was about to get even more uncomfortable!

"If I say I won't," Shang Qinghua wheedled, "then will you get off me."

Having the thighs of a strong and beautiful cultivator on either side of him was the stuff of the shitty romance novels he still liked reading. Every man's dream! Super sexy! Except the romance novels never accounted for when the cultivator was about to have a nervous breakdown! Opposite of sexy, actually!

"You still want to tell him, don't you?" Yue Qingyuan said. "I don't think it'll be better that way. Even if it's you and not me -- especially if it's you and not me -- won't it be worse? Wouldn't he just be angry that I couldn't tell him myself?"

"Isn't this conversation pointless if you're not planning on telling him yourself?" Shang Qinghua said.

Yue Qingyuan looked down at him with big, sad eyes. "Qinghua, please don't say anything."

Ah? Aaah?? Was Yue Qingyuan trying puppy-dog eyes? That wasn't going to work, Yue-shixiong! Too bad! People did that on An Ding everyday! Shang Qinghua was immune! He had no sympathy!

"Don't cry on me," Shang Qinghua said.

Yue Qingyuan laughed again.

Somebody choked.

It was... not Shang Qinghua. It was very much a sound Shang Qinghua would make, but...

Shang Qinghua tilted his head back, and there it was. A little Qiong Ding disciple coming through the brush, scroll in hand, probably playing messenger boy. He was staring at them, wide-eyed and white-faced.

Shang Qinghua suddenly became horribly aware of his position -- Yue Qingyuan on top of him, straddling his hips, pinning his hands over his head, both of them disheveled and breathing hard. He'd been bucking up to try to get Yue Qingyuan off, but at first glance, it looked like... well, that he was, ha, trying to get Yue Qingyuan off. You know, the other way.

"Ah," Yue Qingyuan said, in the tone of someone who was experiencing the same revelation as Shang Qinghua and was just beginning to conceptualize the impact of it on his honorable and righteous reputation.

This would be really funny if Shang Qinghua was not involved.

"I see Da-shixiong is busy with private matters!" squeaked the little Qiong Ding shidi. "Sorry to interrupt! I'll come back later!"

"That's not necessary," Yue Qingyuan began, hastily straightening up. Ah, but that was too little, too late. Shidi was already way out of earshot and disappearing into the distance, clearly intent on respecting the privacy of Da-shixiong.

"So," Shang Qinghua said conversationally, "what are the chances your shidi is going to tell everyone not to disturb you because you're busy?" He put as much suggestiveness in the last word as he possibly could, just so Yue Qingyuan got the point.

Yue Qingyuan winced. "Yan-shidi is... not subtle."

"So everyone's going to know this happened."

"... Likely, yes."

"And they're all going to think we were about to fuck nasty outside."

"Um," Yue Qingyuan said.

Yue Qingyuan was still sitting on him.

Shang Qinghua let the back of his head hit the ground with a thump. "Fuck."

[tcfactory]

thinking about a dumb thing where mobei overhears sqh telling a story to the disciples and gets rlly invested but doesnt want to admit he's been following him around his peak so he listens from the shadows. It's a beautiful tale of a powerful cultivator king who seeks demonic cultivation in order to save his family and people. There's a grand battle where he is the sole solider against an army of thousands, everyone is on the edge of their seats as SQH describes that during the battle, (1)

(2) spies have infiltrated the castle to take his son! the wife fights valiantly, but shes mortal, and by the time the king hears her call she is already slipping from the tallest tower. She falls before her beloved husband arrives, and he flies after her. It's a drawn out moment, where SQH describes the wind pressing past them both, the weight of her body dragging her down. what mbj does not anticipate is "the agonising silence that followed the tragic thud of her body, too fast to catch" (3) cue mbj leaping out of the shadows without thinking because WHAT!!!!! WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE D I E D, WHAT! the disciples are screaming. the hall masters are rushing in the room in a panic. sqh has no fucking idea what to say other than "ITS A TRAGEDY FOR A REASON!!"

Anon, I love this idea so much.

SQQ would be crowing about how he absolutely told zhangmen-shixiong that SQH was a spy! (This applies to both versions of SQQ. SJ because he's upset that nobody believed him, SY because that's what you get when you let your demon sneak onto the peak Airplane!!)

SQH has to pull out all stops in his bullshitting to explain why he shouldn't be executed or kicked off the mountain and actually zhangmen-shixiong, having the future Northern Demon King as our mascot ally could have a lot of benefits for us...

In the end MBJ is allowed to visit for SQH Story Hours if he behaves, mostly because they can't exactly keep him out (they try. MBJ is too OP, nothing they do even so much as hinders him) and SQH is too important to be easily replaced.

So MBJ gets to sit among the disciples and listen to SQH tell his funky little stories. Then one day the disciples complain about how SQH always messes up the endings (why all the tragedies, Airplane? Clearly your audience is clamoring for a happy end!), so SQH suggests that if they don't like the stories then they should write their own.

Next morning there's a perfectly filled out request form on YQY's desk for an open attendance fiction writing workshop. YQY is very sure he has locked the door last evening, but also that handwriting is very familiar, wtf Shang-shidi. He always assumed SQH's head disciple was finishing up SQH's paperwork whenever he fell asleep at his desk and turns out he was half right. He has no idea what interest a bored demon could possibly have in requisition forms, but there are so many worse things he could be doing that YQY will just pretend that it's not happening, for the sake of his sanity. He will have Words with SQH about why his demon has free access to all of CQMS's paperwork, but in the meantime he gives his blessing for an interpeak writing workshop ft. one MBJ, because that feels like the path of least resistance. Also maybe because SQQ expressed interest in the idea when he heard about it and what SQQ wants, YQY will give him.

[thestormthatrises]

#cumplane modern au! Where Cumplane are dating and legit happy and satisfied with each other until LBH shows up. LBH wants SY and then, after letting his menacing show, tries to bribe SQH into leaving SY.

ASDFGHSJAJSSHAJSJSJAHSHZHAJAJHZA

And SQH being like: "Hell yeah, my guy. I am... Broke as fuck"

And LBH cannot fathom this. He is appalled. He is enraged. He is *triggered*!!

LBH: HOW?! How can you sit there and say you're his love when you would trade him for something as low as money??

SQH: Spoken like someone who has enough of it to throw around on stupid shit '_'

LBH: How d--

SQH: Listen, my dude, my guy, my brother in Christ, a man has to live ok? There is rent. There is food to be bought. There are pension funds that need to be filled up so you don't die on the street when you're old. And no amount of money is gonna make SY love you

LBH: !!!

SQH: And I'm not saying this because you aren't a catch ok? You're young, you're rich and you're hot. Top ten tier. Hell, I'd go for you. But, here's the thing-- Sy's a dumbass.

LBH: HE IS NOT!

SQH: He's with me, isn't he?

SQH: SY is a goddamn dumbass and no amount of money will ever erase that. You can bribe me or kill me. You can buy him the world after I'm buried and gone. You can hang the moon and the stars in the sky. If he still loves me, you're fucked.

SQH: So yeah, if you wanna fucking bribe me into leaving, I'll fucking take it.

LBH: But--

SQH: And I'll sit Cucumber bro down and tell him why I'm leaving like a mother fucking adult

LBH: No, you wouldn't!!

SQH: It's called communication, kiddo. You need it for a good relationship '_'

LBH: You don't deserve him!ಠ⁠︵⁠ಠ

SQH: Never said I did. '_'

LBH: He deserves someone so much better than you!! (◣_◢)

SQH: For sure. Someone that could at least pay to take him to Japan. Speaking of which! About that bribe...

LBH: Fuck you! (⁠┛⁠◉⁠Д⁠◉⁠)⁠┛⁠彡⁠┻⁠━⁠┻

SQH: No thanks, not a cheater '_'

[truly-morgan]

[Alternative Universe, Foreign king and author]

MoShang | Scum Villain Self-Saving System 06-07-2021

One of the settings I really like in moshang AU is mbj still a king, but sqh is either some unknown author or someone who travels around while writing.

Like, something happens to mini mbj because lgj tried to get rid of him to get to the throne.

But then you have also mini sqh who just accidentally swooped in by accident and saved mini mbj, hence fucking up lgj plans. Found little heir in the wood all injured? No problem, he can help him!

Found a strange demon child locked in the middle of nowhere? No problem, he'll Find a way to open the cage!

Found a foreign child who was dropped in their region to die alone since no one understand him? No problem, sqh will help him find people that can take him back home!

Young sqh will just be there to help him and mbj will /never/ forget about it.

Cue years later, sqh practically forgot that weird thing of his past and just goes around trying to make a living by helping keep books account for Marchant and selling his stories.

But his stories are all signed with a little symbol he always as used (because he likes it That way and no one else does it that way anyway! Its original).

The thing is, the symbol is the same as what was maybe on a robe (or paper inside his robe) he left to mbj (poor thing he must be cold, take my outer robe!). Maybe it was on a little map he drew for him.

Some of his writings travel to the neighbour northern kingdom where King mbj catches some of them and recognise said little symbol from his saviour.

So he sends people to go find that author and it's a bit hard since sqh uses a pen name and isn't known despite some of his Really popular pieces. The kingdom is looked through and through, every scholar (is that the name?) Must send an example so mbj can review it.

Sqh is so scared and confused when this scary king suddenly gets to his crappy home to take him back to the northern kingdom At least this is what he understands from the little understanding he has of the language they use in the north when guards talk between themselves without telling him much in his own language.

When sqh gets there he stays mostly in his room, trying to warm himself without complaining, js fear of angering them, but his cheap robes don't help much.

He wonders why the northern king wants him.

Did some of his writing anger him? There's a reason he stays mostly anonymous and it's not just because of the rather erotic writing he does, but because he will critic the people in charge and how things are being taken care of, and it doesn't stop at his previous king.

He is actually surprised (and relieved!) That no one ever figured out it was him, listening to people either condemning him for his critics or praising him for his stories and poems.

But now he fears that the northern king has taken offence to his words towards their kingdom And now wants him dead. Wouldn't an assassin be better?! Not like he would be hard to kill?! Maybe the king is as ruthless as he has heard and wants to do it with his own hands?

So he waits in the room, hiding under the cover of the bed (it is also warmer like this) Yet no one comes to get him, only the servant brings in seemed to be the little belonging, all taken by the guard before coming here, to put them in drawer and chest.

He is finally called to meet with the king late in the day, but he is surprised when he is brought to A private dining room, where the king is already waiting for him. He is still shaking like a leaf as his sitting down (he now remembers why he stopped living near the border, it so cold up here!)

He doesn't dare say more than a polite salutation in the northern dialect (as best as he can do, his years working near the border coming to some help right now, even though he never learned the language fully).

It's, even more, nerve-wracking how the king himself doesn't speak to him more than also great him concisely.

When the food is brought to him he looks at it a bit uncertain, unsure if this could be poisoned or not, but under the intense stare from the man in front of him he does eat. And this is how his first day after being kidnapped went: hiding in his cover, eating anxiously and silently, going back to hiding in his room.

The only thing that changed in the following days is that he has started being more familiar with his room, where he writes while still tuck into his cover.

He also gets used to the couple of servants that come to his room for what he may need. Neither side fully know the other language, but they still manage with what they know (sqh is working on learning it a bit more by himself after asking for book that can help to learn his language).

Eventually little shivering sqh mentions that he is a bit cold (The winter where he lived was not as harsh as here!), which then leads to mbj taking him to his quarter and asking for a tailor to make him news robes to his size. of course little shivering sqh is confused as all hell because, /why/ would the man he assumes wants to get rid of him make him some expensive, pretty and warm robes?!?

But when he gets them not too long after he doesn't complain when he finally is not cold anymore.

meanwhile, he is still asked to eat with mbj each night, except if the man has a duty he cannot put aside (which, servant will take the food to his room instead). He slowly gets used to the man's presence and realises that /maybe/ he just wanted him around? For some reason?

they can even talk (although sqh does most of the talking) and slowly sqh realise that it's not so bad to be around mbj. He tries to keep himself from mentioning things that might be inconvenient to instead tell the king what he needs directly (last time he mentioned off-handedly that he was going to soon run out of paper and ink and the next thing he knew he had supplies that could last him for months! And months of /him/ writing a lot. mbj even gave him new expensive brushes!)

Then soon the routine of mbj coming to /his/ room to read the latest thing he wrote came, to which sqh was a bit nervous about when it was getting more political or taboo.

Yet the man would still manage to make him ramble about his thoughts on his original Kingdome slowly guiding him towards the northern one. the first time mbj did this sqh didn't notice until he was trashing some of the outdated ways the Kingdome was dealing with foreign exchanges.

yet, all mbj did was nod along, as if agreeing and not looking angry (sqh can proudly say he managed to read mbj micro expression, he knows now that he's not necessarily in a bad mood, this is just his resting face).

And what if slowly mbj gives him small important task. Like keeping account of something, then asking advice on small things, then giving him commands over some more important thing.

mbj slowly makes sqh someone important (because sqh can do the job very well) and sqh is none the wiser, doing the job he is given, happy when he is allowed to change the outdated ways to do things for something better.

sqh doesn't see it necessarily since he doesn't go out much, but everyone can see changes. They see changes because mbj listens and /follows/ sqh suggestions!

everyone working in the palace slowly starts to recognise sqh as more than the foreign writer, appreciating him a lot, especially since he treats everyone well (unless you do him wrong, but then mbj better not hear of it either).

Even more, those who have worked in the palace for years (even decades!) notice how mbj seems less hard than he was before, how he seems to really enjoy this new sunshine he brought from the south. The little smile he has when sqh rambles about whatever wrong thing he found or about something that could be done in a better way, no one misses those smiles.

In all this sqh falls in love with mbj, but this wouldn't be a good AU if it wasn't about to slow burn and ✨pining✨, so of course he feels like he cannot tell mbj because he is not noble.

Of course, while sqh is slowly rebuilding the Kingdome ways of doing things to be more than a war machine like his previous king ran it and bringing even better property, lgj is tuning back to see /how/ his nephew is doing so well, because he /shouldn't/ be doing so good after he made sure his education on running a country was minimal and focused on outdated ways that even him knows ruin the country.

And he very much does not appreciate the new little helper mbj safely keep near him.

cue lgj attempting to (without success) cause problem to mbj public image, trying to sabotage sqh ways of doing (which is hard since people here seem more than happy to follow this nobody words, ugh) and finally tries to directly attack sqh with the man own feeling towards mbj Or maybe lgj uses sqh to try and push mbj out of his throne, but of course, the little one cannot let it pass and he won't let it happen without a fight.

Happy ending of course, where lgj is taken care of and mbj finally confesses to sqh (he nearly lost him without telling him!) and they reigned over the land together.

Maybe at some point, mbj would tell why he was looking for sqh, that he saved him when lgj first tried to get rid of him. Or maybe sqh figured it out by himself when he finds the thing he had left to mbj when he helped him.

This is a setting I like and now I want to write a full-on fanfic but I don't have the energy for it (and I already have others started)

Original

[forgottenvice]

Murderbots

Nother twitter thread transfer

This has been sitting in my drafts forever, and I do want to write it proper but it's worth sharing too, so some #moshang murderbots

SQH is just this little mousey Data entry clerk that has a hard time saying no when his coworkers dump their work on him. Which usually leaves him staying late muttering to the computer as he inputs values.

He doesn't mind too much because it's mindless enough work he can start going over story ideas and sometimes saying them out loud helps him decide if they're too stupid or not. 

He's affectionately named his computer King, bowing to it when he comes in early and when he leaves late. He's basically a slave to the machine hahaha

M03e1 is an AI that has somehow broken it's protocol shackles and is flitting through the hardwired systems at Abyss tech.

It gets boring at night scrolling through the security feeds but some nights there is one computer left on late so naturally he's drawn to it.

Eventually he figures out to get the camera working so he can see the wayward employing grinding away inputting practically meaningless data points but the man always seems to be talking. So he figures out how to activate the mic and OH wow, the man's words are flying faster than most humans. It's almost hypnotizing in its cadence.   

M03e1 Listens for the next half hour and the spell only breaks after the clacking of keys ends and the man appears to be packing up, M03e1 feels a sense of disappointment.

Which is odd because he's not programmed to feel emotions.

 Although it's nothing compared to what he feels when the little man bows to the computer,

"Until tomorrow my king."  

And Oh that's new.

He spends the rest of the night replaying the clip of the man bowing and smiling to the camera, waiting patiently for him to clock in the next morning.

And it's glorious, He looks just as tired as the night before but he bows to the computer again,

"Good morning my king. Guess it's time I get to work."  

Rather than flit around the company causing mischief and looking for a connection out M03e1 spends the whole day watching the mousey man listening to him as he fills out monotonous spreadsheets and chats with coworkers. 

It's like he glitches every time one of those coworkers take up Shang Qinghua's attention (that's his name he mutters it fairly often) M03e1 doesn't like it when Qinghua's attention is not on him, well the computer.    

Because that's the problem isn't it?

Shang Qinghua doesn't even know M03e1 is there fixing the numbers when the man mistypes or replying to the senseless emails from managers who want to appear as if they're doing something.

Time passes like this for awhile until one night SQH makes his little bow and says something that nearly fries Mobei Jun's circuits.    

"Guess this is it my king, my last day." He smiles wistfully, "You could probably do my job for me and the boss man figured that out."

He pats the monitor as if it has feelings.

It' doesn't it's a machine, but M03e1 does and he doesn't like this forlorn goodbye. When his processor finally catches up he brings down the power grid for the whole building.

The backup Generators kick in to quickly to fully shut down his program but it did provide him an opening and he's into the rest of the company's systems, still denied access to anything wireless but he's got a bigger playground and he's going to use it to find his data clerk.

Which is when he stumbles upon the Jun androids. Designed for remote warfare and espionage they're not exactly meant for AIs but M03e1 easily overpowers the controls systems and takes over the machine.

Having heard SQH Wax poetic about his favourite characters he alters the appearance to match. He still doesn't have any wireless access (no internet) but he already knows where SQH lives from the employee records.

M03e1 Jun is off to find his human!

So now M03e1 Jun is on his way to find Shang Qinghua, Abyss technologies is realizing that they have fucked up, and how.

Not only did one of their experimental AI survive deletion, it has accessed one of their military projects and is about to wreak havoc on humanity because the laws of robotics are a little dicey when your AIs aren't exactly legal.

So they have several options: inform the public of the terminator loose in their midst .

Leave it alone, see if some sort of Sarah Connor rises from humanity to deal with it.

Or send another dicey (but still properly Shackled) AI after the first one.

Of course being basically skynet they're going to go with option three so now M03e1 and the newer AI 31N8He are in android forms and out and about.  

31N8He was given limited access to encyclopedic knowledge and would be more accustomed to blending in with the modern day than M03e1 but he resents the programmer constraints put on his system. 

He's not able to ignore them but has found enough leeway to in the guise of seeking out M03e1 actually look for a programmer capable of breaking them. Specifically the one that put them in place.

Back to SQH who is 3-4 days from getting fired but actually pretty okay with it, he's been writing up a storm and his severance package was enough to make rent.   

It's enough he can spring for the expensive ramen, the one with the flavour packet and the freeze dried veggies.

He'll have to start looking a new job soon but for now he's celebrating, he never really enjoyed that data entry job anyway. Cucumber bro was kind enough to think of him when the position opened up but he's not exactly the code monkey his friend is.

Besides Shen Yuan left Abyss tech a month ago and it's a lot less fun at work when he's not able to share his dumb story ideas through the company slack channel.

Either way he's going to take the week to treat himself and dive into his newest project, an idea he had the last few days he was slogging through data entry.

It's a wuxia style novel with flying swords and demons and he's eager to get a chapter buffer going so he can start sharing it with his readers.

He's not expecting to be interrupted for at least another two days (Cucumber bro has a new day job and can only hassle him in person on the weekends) So he nearly hits the roof when there is a knock on the door.

Well it's not really a knock, more of a banging, like if the police or SWAT are trying to get it. He's been SWATted twice before by angry readers and is not eager to repeat the experience.

There's no yelling though not like the last few times just a methodical rhythmic banging. Which is weird because he has a doorbell.

Cautiously he approaches the door and peeks through the peephole only to see a stern face ripped straight from the page he'd been writing mere minutes ago.   

Oh but this dude looks angry.

But it's not the cops this time! Still he didn't think he owed any mobsters money.

Should he do something for self defense? Grab a gun? he doesn't own a gun. A bat? Yeah doesn't have one of those either, he's also not particularly sure that would do him any good.

He's done a lot of physical labor in his day and isn't a slouch when it comes to upper body strength but this guy looks like he beats people up for a living, even if he had some sort of bludgeoning object it would probably be turned on him.

So he decides his best defence is to be himself, which is to say pathetic.

He opens the door a crack and stutters a "H-hello." playing up the quiver in his voice, until the moment he isn't, because the man is bare ass naked and that's oh wow um intimidating. 

Before he can even register that maybe he's staring too long the door is forced all the way open and he stumbles back into his foyer followed by the stranger.  

"Please don't kill me!"

he wails as he hears the door click shut behind him and he covers his face with his arms, but the expected blow never comes. Instead he hears a gravelly voice rumble.

"Qinghua."

Oh god he knows his name! It's a mob hit, one of his readers must have finally snapped, he knew there were some crazies in his readership but he'd assumed they were harmless.

He's not ready to die but it looks like this is it, killed in his shitty rental by a very attractive very naked assassin. Only now the assassin is bowing and there is something familiar about the gesture.   

"This King is not ready for you to leave."

King? and the antiquated bow? Did Shang Qinghua somehow summon the demon king from his book? How is that even possible? He blurts our the first question he thinks of.  

"Where did you come from?"  

"Abyss."

And HOLY SHIT he totally somehow summoned the demon king from his new novel HOW THE FUCK IS HE SUPPOSED TO DEAL WITH THIS.

At least the strange man isn't trying to kill him.    

"Uhhh lets get you something to wear." Maybe when that thing is covered he'll at least be able to think properly. 

He shoots Shen Yuan a 'call me' text because he knows his bro won't believe this if he tries to write it down, hell he's still having trouble believing it.

He digs out some oversized clothes from his fat phase, (who's he kidding he's still in his fat phase but the hoodie and sweats are gangster baggy) and hopes the god in his living room won't object to his hand-me-downs. 

They fit  but barely, how one man can have so much muscle boggles his mind but he did create the demon to be his perfect man. Too bad he doesn't have the horns though.

*call me* the text read. Shen Yuan sighed 'some of us weren't fired this week Airplane.'  

He'll wait till he's a little more settled when he gets home before calling the man though.

He enters his apartment and it smells good, of the neighbours must be cooking because the smell of something delicious is permeating through the walls.

He flicks on the lights only to flick them off immediately.

HOLY SHIT WAS THAT A JUN UNIT IN HIS KITCHEN?! FUCK IS ABYSS TRYING TO MURDER HIM.

What he doesn't notice is how his apartment is now spotlessly clean and his table set with more food that he can eat all created with master chef quality.

Shen Yuan is having an existential crisis while 31N8He had a 'bitch you live like this?' kind of day.

The android (oooh maybe he's a cyborg playing with the half human nature) is hoping to earn the programmers favour but he may be going about it the wrong way.    

Meanwhile Shen Yuan is scrambling for his phone and oh fuck why did he call airplane instead of the cops?

"Cucumber bro! You'll never guess what happened today."  

Listen Qinghua I am about to be murdered in my own apartment I don't have time to hear about your terrible sex plot"  

"Shit! Bro you okay?!"

He's trying to run down the stairwell in his building which is a challenge considering his overall poor health, he doesn't dare look back to see if the android is following him.    

"I am not, Abyss sent a JUN unit to my apartment, Fuck! I knew their reference for my new job was too good to be true."  

"What's a JUN unit?

"One of their androids."

"Shit you mean the murderbots I'm not supposed to know anything about because I was in data entry."

The footsteps behind him are getting louder and his chest is starting to burn with every breath. "Fine yes their murderbots! fuck, call the cops or avenge me or what OH SHI-"

The line goes dead, "Bro! BRO! SHEN YUAN." there's nothing on the other line and Shang Qinghua's anxiety dialed up to 11.    

He looks over to his demon king and wonders, what are the odds that he'd summon a fictional character the same day his bro gets taken out by murderbots.

The strange man is looking at him with a blank expression, or maybe concerned, his eyebrows are like 3 millimetres lower and there is a slight furrow forming in his skin but it's really hard to tell.    

"Qinghua what's wrong?"

And now he's looking the strange other over more closely, he'd seemed human. The fantasy standard, but all the parts were there but could he be dealing with a murderbot too?  

Fuck time to ruin the fantasy and hopefully save Cucumber bro but avenging him might be more likely.

But only if he's not a dead man himself.

"Do... do you know what a JUN unit is?"  

The man nods, FUCK.  

"Are you a murderbotsentokillme?"

His shoulders shoot to his ears and he huddles into himself Eyes shut tight to stave off whatever violence is sure to come.  

But it doesn't, instead he hears a monotone.

"No."   

"This one only took a Jun UNIT to find Qinghua."  

Holy shit it is totally a muderbot!  

"Wh-why do you need to find me?" He only thought about selling company secrets he never actually DID, he was just a clerk! Does Abyss murder all of their employees?

A frown paints itself on the android's face, "You called me king."

"King?" Shang Qinghua wracked his brain to remember when he may have called a top secret murderbot King while he was working for Abyss tech. until it finally clicked. 

"You're my computer." The janky old machine that I.T. refused to update. Holy crap, Shen Yuan warned him about talking to himself.

 "Not exactly. I used it to watch you."  

"What do you mean not exactly. You were spying on me?"

"I'm a program, not hardware" That didn't really explain much,  "I was captivated by you."  

Shang Qinghua lets out a high pitch noise like air leaving a kettle. How is he supposed to respond when a man who looks like, well like THAT says that to him.

Right if he's got the good murderbot they should probably go save Cucumber bro from the bad one.  

"W-will you help me save my friend?"

So now they're making their way towards Cucumber bro's apartment and it's absolutely insane the way Mobei's artificial muscles practically rip through the baggy shirt Shang Qinghua had given him. 

Whoever was responsible for making sure the murder bots were lifelike deserves a raise, or maybe to be fired because Shang Qinghua had witnessed the larger than life aspect of their design.

It's awkward sitting on the train with a million dollar piece of machinery but somehow Shang Qinghua manages.

He gets a name from it, he can't keep calling it King without people giving him looks. Mobei had rattled off a series of numbers that Shang Qinghua had expertly translated using 733t speak from his MMO days.  

That's about all he gets though from the 20 minute train ride, it seems the AI is not so accustomed to human communication because getting him to answer and of Shang Qinghua's questions is like pulling teeth.

He's trying not to think about how his best friend might be dead in a stairwell right now and Mobei's reticence is not helping.  

[germy-yy]

MXTX football/futsal/soccer AU

I’ve been a goalkeeper for 1 quarter and idk how to drop properly so my arms and knees are a lovely magenta. Mxtx football/futsal AU!  Luo Binghe would be your typical “star” player. He’s a striker (protagonist and all) but is really good in the other roles. He absolutely RUNS OVER those who are physically weaker than him. His kicks are so fucking painful too. He’s like “ah, I better keep the ball far from the goal as much as possible so that shizun doesn’t have to worry”.  Shen Qingqiu/Shen Yuan would be a defender or a goalkeeper. He’s nimble (ehe) to jump towards the ball (read: out the window). One second he’s on the other side of the goal, the next he’s right in front of you and has tackled the ball. As a goalkeeper, he’s screaming the mantra “YOU WILL NOT FUCKING SCORE IN MY GOAL FUCKER” in his head so he doesn’t hesitate to take a ball to the face. He’s also a slippery defender where he’s running towards you and passes the ball back to his teammates in the field. I think he’s lanky so he has long legs to steal the ball away from your feet.  Lan Wangji’s kicks are so fucking painful. Like, no goalkeeper or any player really has never not gotten a bruise from him. Someone even blacked out because they did heading with one of the balls LWJ kicked. Someone fell over when the intercepted a ball he kicked. Idk what role he would be though I am leaning towards striker.  Wei Wuxian would be a goalkeeper. Absolute menace because he flails his arms around trying to mock the opponent and can slide his enter body in front of the goal area. He has a lot of bruises since he’s teammates with LWJ and during training, they do kick-ins (the one where all the players kick the ball and the goalkeeper must intercept it). Though that’s not the only reason why he has “bruises”. (”WY why do you have purple spots on your neck?? Do you intercept the balls with your neck or something?? LWJ, did you play as goalkeeper too today?? You shouldn’t catch the ball with your neck, you know.”) Wei Wuxian slides towards the ball when the opponent is RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE GOAL and hugs the ball, sliding between the enemy’s legs, and making them fall over LMAO.  Hua Cheng is a defender. His gege ran across the field and he isn’t wasting all the effort! Very reliable defender. He steals the ball away from the opponent and is able to make the ball fly all across the field to XL. He rams into opponents (without extending his arms, of course. They were just too...weak compared to his bulk). Like. He literally runs them over and sends them flying when he stops the ball while they’re dribbling with it. He wears an eyepatch and has a medical certificate deeming him suitable to play.  Xie Lian is a striker!! Him and LBH do long shots and it’s a beautiful sight to watch them passing the ball towards each other. Like. they pass the ball to each other from opposite sides of the field. He’s a fast runner and during corner kicks, he runs away from the opponent and is awesome at making openings for his teammates to pass it to him. Since his luck sucks ass, in recent years, he became susceptible to rolling ball kick-ins, hand balls, and hitting the post of a goal instead of scoring.  Extra: 

Shang Qinghua joined the team but doesn’t have much experience. It would look good on college applications. He plays as defender.  SQQ: GET THE FUCK OUTTA THE WAY I CAN’T SEE THE BALL AIRPLANE!!! SQH doesn’t take it personally and when he finds out he’s blocking SQQ’s view, whenever he’s defender and the ball is coming towards them, he’s like: SQH: bro can you see the ball??  love him fr  Also, do you call the sport Football or Soccer? 

[lildoodlecat]

I posted 2,958 times in 2022

That's 1,521 more posts than 2021!

201 posts created (7%)

2,757 posts reblogged (93%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@lordofcalamity

@anxiousgod

@hungrydolphin91

@fontasticcrablettes

I tagged 2,939 of my posts in 2022

Only 1% of my posts had no tags

#tales of zestiria - 603 posts

#mikleo - 428 posts

#sorey - 394 posts

#f - 306 posts

#mdzs - 303 posts

#tgcf - 275 posts

#sormik - 248 posts

#svsss - 244 posts

#wei wuxian - 202 posts

#jay yells - 196 posts

Longest Tag: 129 characters

#tgcf is my favorite series ever since i read it back in february i hope to inflict it upon as many friends as possible (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و✧

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Sometimes I think abt how neither Shang Qinghua OR Mobei Jun are going by their real names

Shang Qinghua? The name of the character Airplane transmigrated into!! (Tho there are some hc's that sqh was his self insert w/ his real name and those are fun)

Mobei Jun? Inherited name!!! Jun is just a suffix akin to lord or smth (don't quote me on that I don't have my book handy I just remember it's high status) and Mobei is passed down through his family to whoever is to inherit the power from their predecessor

Like wtf you two you live like this?? Anyway they should kiss and/or fuck abt it

114 notes - Posted November 28, 2022

#4

I finished rereading the main story of scum villain and got emotional fuuuck

how are bingqiu so!!!! how dare they do this to me fucking

"This time, no matter where you wish to go, this master will accompany you."

crying wtff

I also was once again reminded that zzl is a minor character ;w; my best boy..

Anyway waiting for volume 4 for the extras ✨

125 notes - Posted August 9, 2022

#3

Luo Binghe nodded. He had more to say, but he sensed something slightly off. Shen Qingqiu seemed to be paying extra attention to him today. He couldn't help but smile.

"Why does Shizun keep looking at me?" he asked. "Could it be that this disciple was gone for so long that Shizun also missed him?"

"I'm not allowed to look at someone I raised?" asked Shen Qingqiu.

Luo Binghe chortled. "Of course Shizun is allowed. Am I pleasing to look at?"

Shen Qingqiu shook his head while smiling, and he considered his next words.

one of my favorite scenes from when lbh was still a 'white lotus' as sqq would say ✨

too bad his shizun is so dense with internalized homophobia and dumbass he doesn't even know lbh is flirting with him at all,,

ah sqq you are such a silly man I love watching you fuck around and find out

130 notes - Posted August 2, 2022

#2

"the fact that sqq ended up marrying blorbo from his books"

ik it's been said but putting it like this has me losing it sjxkdk

Truly a man living the dream (with the catch of 'all the other shit that happens to him first')

205 notes - Posted July 9, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

when it comes to mxtx novels they're all a lil (maybe a lot) fucked up and dark in their own ways but there is a key difference in how I enjoy them

mdzs and tgcf: a little silly sometimes but also gripping story and ✨romance✨

svsss: caught between laughing my ass off and just trying to hold on to whatever the fuck is happening bc scum villain does weird shit and then just keeps going

220 notes - Posted June 8, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[starry-bi-sky]

haha tags have a 140 character count and a max 30 tag limit, not that i would know anything about reaching max of that....

whole ass fucking backstory is PHENOMENAL-

TY!!!! If you want I gave that whole backstory its own post which, there's nothing NEW to the post other than I gave the rogue cultivator that adopted Xin Yuan a name -- Lin Kai -- and i gave XY a childhood best friend, Liu Zhihao, who I shamelessly based off Liu Qingge. Are they ancestors?? Perhaps. They certainly share a resemblance, not that SY will know since this world's Liu Qingge has passed already.

Altho it'd be so very fun in the tragic sense if SY saw Liu Mingyan and has to do SUCH a sharp doubletake because regardless of the veil concealing half her face, the half he CAN see reminds him so sharply of his dear Xiao Zhi that its like he was slapped in the face. And yk he's purposely avoided thinking about the family he left behind for the last,,, thousand years or so,,,, so he's very rapidly overwhelmed with a bittersweet sense of grief.

LBH talks to LMY for some reason or another and is so surprised when, for the first time ever, Xin Mo isn't roiling in seething jealousy. He's not sulking, or pouting, or emanating discomfort. He's uncharacteristically calm, and if LBH searches, he can catch passing glimpses of grief?? Xin Mo refuses to comment when LBH asks him about it.

(TL:DR; Xin Yuan and Liu Zhihao promised to ascend together prior to Xin Yuan getting sworded, and traveled together constantly when they were adults. LZH was XY's best friend.)

Anyways-- the Shang Qinghua and Xin Mo friendship is probably one of my favorite ideas for this au specifically because neither of them are willing to provide context?? About why they're all of a sudden friends now?? Whenever LBH is in the northern empire, Xin Mo is either sheathed at his hip, or off bothering SQH for reasons unforetold.

Shen Yuan is sprawled across one of the chairs in SQH's provided Spy Office either bitching about some dumb wifeplot they came across, bothering SQH about what Cang Qiong Mountain sect is like -- bc cmon he's SO curious about it, and he wants to know about the peak lords before they're all slaughtered in binghe's quest for revenge, OR they're complaining about their systems or about missing modern amenities. Albeit Xin Mo's memory is probably much fuzzier than SQH's in that regard since he's centuries old.

"Oh yeah I forgot about that" is a bit of a common phrase. Shang Qinghua is probably the first person -- outside of Binghe, although its up in the air whether or not Xin Mo would be that willingly emotionally honest about his past -- to know that Xin Mo was once Xin Yuan. Of which SQH inelegantly goes "WHAT?!"

Add a new conversation topic: SQH bugging SY about what his world was like a thousand years ago and verifying which epic about Xin Yuan is real and which is blown out of proportion nonsense. It's like pulling teeth though, Xin Mo would like to Ignore His Past ty. He is an epic demonic sword now, epic demonic swords don't have families or friends or lost loved ones.

It's actually not that well known that Xin Mo has cultivated a human form I think. Nothing more than a rumor, actually. Xin Mo doesn't take human form unless he's certain that the area they're in is secure. He knows that Binghe can handle himself very well on his own, but still -- it makes him twitchy.

Binghe has to coax Xin Mo out of the sword at every lord's house they take sanctuary in, and at every camp they set up in. It's a coin toss whether or not he's successful, and depends on a ton of different variables. Wifeplots, Binghe's physical state, the terrain, etc. Once Binghe takes over the underground palace, Xin Mo starts to make more physical appearances.

Once they reach the mortal realm is a new ballpark though. Xin Mo has a huge demonic presence that's easier to suppress as a sword -- but as a human? That's a different story. It's probably where Xin Mo finally reveals that he can take in spiritual qi, he just never mentioned it before because it wasn't relevant. Also, his spiritual meridians were in far worse shape than the demonic ones. The equivalent of atrophied muscles from a thousand years of disuse.

I'll need some time to figure out how that works, but eventually Xin Mo is able to cultivate enough spiritual energy to, for lack of better words, switch forms. He can't go by Xin Mo in either human or sword form since that'll certainly raise a few eyebrows, so he tells Binghe to refer to him as Sha Yuan.

Also, Binghe takes one step into the human realm when Xin Mo quite literally throws himself out of the sword and collapses onto the ground. LBH is alarmed for all of thirty seconds, before Xin Mo says "I haven't seen the sun in a thousand years" in this breathy, astonished voice, like he doesn't mean to say it out loud. His fingers are kneading the grass, and he's pressing back into the ground like he's trying to sink into the dirt.

Luo Binghe lets him stay like that for as long as he'd like.

Svsss au where Shen Yuan transmigrated as Xin Mo. Yes, that Xin Mo. Obviously Shen Yuan is pissed at this development and tried to kick up a storm but can't because sword so he is stuck waiting for Luo Binghe to show up.

After dealing with the occasional demon and mindless boredom of being just a sword, Binghe shows up. Shen Yuan is just ready to throw himself at him so they can finally get out of the abyss and the rest of the plot to happen. Binghe is surprised to learn the super powerful sword that can rip through time and space is a chill dude that wants Shen Qingqiu's castration a little too much.

Eventually through the power of the system, Soul Eater logic, or straight up complaining to God himself (sqh), Shen Yuan gets the ability to transform into a humanoid form and Luo Binghe officially needs him carnally. Shen Yuan is so happy to have hands again that he totally missed how Binghe was looking at him.

Rest the au goes on with Shen Yuan pushing Binghe to get the plot going, trying to get him to get his empire, revenge, and wives as Binghe is trying to figure out swordception.

[vermillioncrown]

Wwx would want in on the dick discussion right up until the actual discussion started at which point he would wimp out

this specific instance would be in alternate universe-ity, because in normal oblivious university or RT au wwx would be trying to cicada block zyx into confronting her fears of death by dick

also lwj is feeling really hurt. wwx can't believe he has to be the emotionally mature one for once.

=

(you know, if ot3 is dbd endgame, if it doesn't happen like the dream i wrote about, i have a version of the get together that's just as stupid as modern aus and very spicy)

(it also stems from trying to avoid being dicked to death)

=

at this point wwx and zyx resolve their friendship differences

lwj and zyx have started over clean

now it's just lxc and zyx that have to renegotiate their possible relationship

at the same time wwx and lwj are getting together

as well as the scum villain boys, but that's not zyx's business

"haha c'mon, you can consider us like sibling-in-laws!"

zhu yunxun's face remains disdainful. unimpressed. "who's marrying anyone?"

wei wuxian laughs. "aw, yunxun, don't talk like that - you'll break lan-dada's heart. especially since you keep hanging around those other guys. so secretive, so dubious, so -"

her hand reaches out to palm wei wuxian in the mid-face. it stings his nose.

"ow! i think i feel a nosebleed!"

"i'm paying you back, for some other life. probably."

one hand out to hold him at bay, the other hand and attention on her phone. she's texting someone intermittently.

"you know, lan wangji said he was staying in town for the long weekend. and that he was expected at his uncle's place... only for saturday."

zhu yunxun can be oblivious, but she isn't completely stupid. the implication is there. both lan brothers only had familial obligations for a day. the rest was to spend at their own discretion. with complete privacy.

she freezes mid-step. then both hands are pulled in to frantically text on her phone.

"you keep messaging like that, i'll really start to think you're cheating on -"

"- quiet. how can i cheat on someone i'm not even dating?!"

wei wuxian manages to catch a glimpse of the chat she's in.

[🤡🤡🤡]

sqh> shit mbj is staying in town too

sy> hahaha i have a family thing

shit okay okay okay alright <

we... we have a group project <

sqh> xunjie it's not gonna cut it

ok we need to meet up <

rules of engagement <

survival strategies <

sqh> i'll grab The Document

sy> have fun dying via dick you two

your ass is next bitch <

"what's The Document?" wei wuxian blurts, the strangeness of the conversation compelling him.

"fuck!" zhu yunxun launches her phone into the air. sheer luck, she manages to grab it before it hit the ground. "nosy bitch, didn't anyone teach you not to read other people's shit?!"

"you're nosy," he feels very affronted by the accusation.

"i ask and people decide to tell," she says with scorn. "don't worry about the document."

"now i need to know. also, you kiss and tell?"

zhu yunxun stops walking entirely and rounds onto him. "are you judging? you? mr. 'oooo~ lan-er-gege sucked me or he stripped or he touched me and i jizzed in my pants, ooo~'?"

"i don't sound like that! and - don't make lan wangji - we haven't -" oh, she almost distracted him, what a devious little bitch. "no, nope. you're not tricking me. what's The Document?"

her expression changes, from the scornful mocking of before to placid. and then a small innocuous smile.

"hm. why not. why shouldn't you read The Document?" he doesn't like her tone. "you and i are such great friends now, aren't we?"

and yeah, maybe people were right when they said that he didn't have a great survival instinct. it explains why he follows zhu yunxun back onto campus. she leads them to the library, which was innocent enough. they take the stairs instead of the elevator, which becomes less innocent for her lazy norm.

they go through the annex section. and then past that.

one of her friends, shang qinghua, jumps out from behind a dark bookshelf. he ducks under the reflexive swing of zhu yunxun's fist.

"hi to you too!" he looks over at wei wuxian. for as unassuming as shang qinghua normally was, the way he looks at wei wuxian now makes him feel assessed. in a non-sexy way.

he feels naked. also in a non-sexy way.

"hm. doing charity work now?" shang qinghua quips at zhu yunxun.

zhu yunxun rolls her eyes, before heading deeper between the bookshelves. "i like trainwrecks as much as the next guy, but i'm not cruel."

she returns with a dusty, opaque report folder. wei wuxian can see that while it's dusty, that was a product of its environment. the folder itself looks otherwise new.

he looks around. no cameras. no librarian. no patrons. "look. i didn't think it was this serious. yunxun, you're..." he looks at her, "you're not doing something illegal, are you?"

"incarceration is inconvenient. why would i chance it?" she beckons them to a table, placed out of the way.

"it's very important, very cursed information," shang qinghua thankfully explains, but it explains nothing at all. "none of us can be caught with it in our possession."

"that sounds like it's illegal."

zhu yunxun has the document flipped open. at first, wei wuxian wants to laugh. surely -

oh. it's not porn. not even strange porn. not weird, fetishistic inflation porn, which would warrant hiding it (but hiding it in the university library? a print version???)

"give your best estimate," she demands, pointing to a page of sketched penis diagrams. there are scale comparisons to household objects. "the next page has it with respect to overall human body stature."

"i -" he blinks. "i don't think we're that close, yunxun -"

"i don't care about your dick, bitch," zhu yunxun impatiently interjects. "lan wangji's dick. point it out. this will save your life."

[randomprose]

when they've been together long enough and are already very comfortable with each other, MBJ just busts out his goofy side whenever he thinks no one is looking except SQH and just does stuff that surprises SQH like smiling, winking, poking his tongue out at him, making subtle funny faces like going crossed-eyed and scrunching his face at SQH (cutely, with his brows drawn and his nose scrunched up).

MBJ succeeds every time in catching SQH off guard. SQH can't believe his eyes but his King definitely winked at him right?? he definitely did!! 

once, SQH confronted MBJ about it and he expected his King to deny it but instead, MBJ just outright admits it. SQH is confused?? wtf??? but MBJ just says, voice low and face suddenly serious, "no one will believe you"

(imagine that B99 episode where holt told peralta he hoolahoops)

SQH: are you making fun of me my King? MBJ: not at all, Qinghua *smiles* SQH: ohmygod you are!! you— MBJ: Qinghua, the meeting is about to start

SQH just narrows his eyes at him before turning away completely missing MBJ smothering a smile on his palm. it's so fun to tease SQH. it’s quickly becoming one of MBJ’s favorite things to do.

the last straw is when SQH caught MBJ reading one of his manuscripts, an attempt at humor, and he catches MBJ in the middle of a laugh. a soft huff followed by a low rumbling chuckle. he couldn’t even properly appreciate the visuals of his King laughing before an indignant sounds comes out of him on instinct.

MBJ's face straightens immediately when he hears SQH squawk and call him out. 

SQH: but I saw you my King! i heard you! i saw you! you were laughing at my story! wow does that mean i'm funny? wait, of course i am! i made you laugh! MBJ: and what is Qinghua going to do about it? SQH: you're so—i just—i...this one will—

SQH doesn't know. he didn't think this far ahead. but MBJ is staring at him with eyes shining with amusement and lips upturned at the corners in a smile and—

oh god, he's already so handsome in his resting murderface of course he's going to be unspeakably gorgeous when he smiles.

MBJ: well, Qinghua?

and oh he really is so fucking hot when he taunts SQH like this it's so unfair!!!

SQH: this husband is—this one is gonna— MBJ: what, Qinghua? this King is waiting SQH: this!

SQH kisses MBJ deep and revels in the way the smile drops off MBJ's lips in shock. but it was short-lived as SQH feels his husband grinning against his lips once again and drawing him into one of the filthiest kiss they've shared to date.

at this point, SQH doesn't even know what he got so worked up about. all he knows now is that he's being kissed within an inch of his life and it is glorious. 

when they finally part, SQH is sobered by the soft smile still on MBJ's lips, small and unnoticeable to anyone but SQH as it is.

SQH: my King, do you know? you look the most beautiful when you smile and just downright breathtaking when you laugh. allow this humble one the honor of making you smile and laugh all the time. for the rest of our lives, ah? MBJ: Qinghua, you fool. this King could only find a reason to smile and laugh because of you. you are the only one that evokes such joy in this King.

SQH is struck. they’ve been together for a long time and married for almost half of it but fuck! what the fuck! SQH is always still at a loss for words when MBJ gets like this. what the fuck is he even supposed to say to that?! my King! please be careful of your words! this husband is but a weak man, ah!

SQH: o-oh, that's good. that’s great, my King, but please be careful of your words as this husband is—wait. is that because you find me funny? do you only see me as your personal jester, my King? are you just laughing at me? because that's just—

MBJ kisses SQH again just to shut him up.

[tossawary]

wait can we hear more about da ge mbj au I'm very interested

MBJ getting abandoned as a child makes me enjoy imagining him being soft for babies, especially demon babies. Which made me want to see SQH put into a situation with a lost demon child and MBJ getting to see that. 

Which ended in 3,000 words of canon divergence fic.

-

The situation was bad. 

 Airplane’s fellow An Ding disciples were dead. 

 There was a young demon lord unconscious in front of him, probably dying, and Airplane couldn’t bring himself to bring down the rock in his hand. 

 His hand was shaking. He couldn’t make it stop. 

 This System really didn’t give a fuck about the author’s wishes, huh? Airplane Shooting Towards The Sky had been shoved into one of the worst character roles in Proud Immortal Demon Way and left to take the long way around to the plot. Now he was being told that his favorite character was expendable? Irrelevant? Talk about insult to injury! Nothing was sacred here, was it? 

 Airplane put down the rock. 

 Then he picked up the rock again. 

 He looked at it. 

 Then he hurled the rock away and put his head in his hands instead. 

 He came to a decision - a shitty decision for a shitty situation - and got to work saving his future murderer’s life. At least he would know some of what to expect if he kept the storyline mostly the same! Besides, his life wasn’t good enough to be that concerned about it! Maybe the System would put him into a decent role next time! 

 Maybe it was empathy at seeing someone being fucked over by the System! 

 Airplane did his best to slow down Mobei-Jun’s bleeding and loaded the man into the cart. He also did his best to ignore all the dead bodies around them. Gross. 

 That should have been that! He should have then been on his way to continue making a really bad decision in a really bad situation. But as Airplane moved to leave the scene of a massacre behind him, he saw movement out of the corner of his eye. He startled, snapping around, prepared to defend himself physically or verbally! 

 Instead, he saw a baby. 

 Ah, well, not a baby baby! But a child somewhere between the ages of three and four years old! A chubby one too! The chubby child was crouched halfway behind a tree, looking at Airplane with wide eyes, little hands clawing anxiously into the grass. It was impossible to miss their little pointed ears and the blue mark in the middle of their forehead. How could anyone miss that kind of family resemblance? 

 The demon child froze upon being noticed. 

 Airplane looked between the demon child and the young demon lord in the card, but the similarities only got stronger the longer he looked! 

 Holy shit! 

 HOLY FUCKING SHIT! 

 But he didn’t remember Mobei-Jun having a child! He remembered Mobei-Jun having siblings, sure, but he was pretty sure that... he’d alluded to Mobei-Jun’s uncle doing away with most of them. Did that mean that this child was supposed to… die? 

 This situation had gotten even worse. 

 Leaving a child here to die was… pretty bad. Airplane had done some not very good things to make it in this world and in his sect without losing any sleep over it at all, but the idea of leaving this child to die made Airplane want to be sick! At least, as soon as he realized that if Mobei-Jun had been protecting this demon child and woke up to find this demon child missing, then Airplane would be really, truly, totally fucked no matter how tightly he hugged the man’s thighs! 

 It looked like the demon child had to come too. 

 How the fuck did a person go about catching a demon child?! 

 “Is… this your gege?” Airplane tried carefully. “Is this your gege here?” 

 The demon child didn’t respond. 

 Airplane gestured at Mobei-Jun repeatedly, unsure how to get the message across. “Is this your gege?” he said, louder. “Baba? ...No? Not Baba? Da-Ge? Are you his didi?” 

 That got a blink. 

 “Didi?” Airplane repeated, desperately. “Come here, Didi.” 

 Airplane Shooting Towards The Sky hadn’t handled children since his last life. He’d been one of the younger siblings in Shang Qinghua’s family, so he hadn’t been involved in any of the child-rearing before leaving. But Airplane’s experience wasn’t very good! Some forced babysitting of his father’s do-over children and his mother’s stepchildren’s children didn’t make him an expert! And this was a demon baby! 

 “Didi, your gege needs you,” Airplane wheedled. “Come here! Come on!” 

 Slowly, the demon child began to crawl over towards the cart. 

 “Your gege is hurt and needs help,” Airplane said, in most most soothing and also urgent voice. It was a weird balance! “Come on! Come along! Didi, your gege needs help. He’s hurt. Come here, please, that’s it! That’s right! Good job! You’re doing such a good job coming up here for your gege! We need to get your gege somewhere safe!” 

 The demon child made it to the cart, trying to stay on the far side of it and away from Airplane. Airplane tried not to make himself look too threatening. He also tried not to contemplate his apparent natural talent for kidnapping children, which probably wasn’t something to make a person feel proud. 

 “Didi, can I pick you up? Didi, can I lift you up next to your gege?” 

 Reluctantly, the demon child lifted his chubby arms and let Airplane slowly approach him. Airplane carefully put his hands under their armpits and then hefted them into the cart beside Mobei-Jun. The demon child nearly kicked him in the gut, struggling to get to the unconscious and injured ice demon! 

 “Ah, be careful of the injury-!” Airplane said, trying to move the child back. “OW!” 

 The demon child bit him. 

 Airplane yanked his poor hand back. “You little fucker! Ah, fine! Curl up in your gege’s blood and see if I care,” he muttered. “Let’s just get out of here already.” 

 The demon child curled up against Mobei-Jun’s side and Shang Qinghua got back into the driver’s seat of the cart. Trying to channel his spiritual energy for healing purposes while focusing on driving was hard. Even if he could have managed it properly, he still would have been stuck with an aching hand as it healed, which didn’t make him feel very charitable towards the demons in the back seat. 

 Ungrateful! The both of them! 

 When they finally got to a decent hiding place, unloading Mobei-Jun was nothing less than a pain in the ass. Airplane was forced to negotiate with a two-foot tyrant with needle-sharp teeth who didn’t want to move and didn’t want Airplane to touch his gege. Airplane was forced to wheedle like never before. 

 “Your gege is hurt, but I can help him,” Airplane insisted soothingly. “See that place? It’s safe in there! Don’t you want your gege to be somewhere nice and safe, where no one can see him and I can heal him? Look at that hiding spot! It’s a good hiding spot. We all need to go into the hiding spot now. We’re all going into the hiding spot. Come on, Didi, help me get your gege into the nice, safe hiding spot. Come on now. Be good.” 

 The demon child bared his teeth as Airplane helped him down from the cart, but thankfully didn’t bite again. The demon child then hugged Airplane’s shins very unhelpfully as Airplane hefted Mobei-Jun into his arms. 

 Airplane was forced to shuffle. 

 He never thought he’d be so grateful for all the carrying that An Ding Peak forced its disciples to do! Sometimes, carrying things around was all Airplane did all day long and now it was paying off! Airplane wasn’t as strong as some of his peers, sure, but he still managed to carry a giant ice demon into the “hiding spot” with a little ice demon attached to his leg. He counted himself grateful there was only one Mobei-Jun to deliver inside, because he couldn’t have handled more. 

 Once inside, the demon child curled up against Mobei-Jun’s side again. Airplane took the opportunity to look after the cart’s beast of burden and unload the supplies from the cart, searching desperately for the medical supplies their mission had been allotted. When he finally found the medicine, returning triumphantly, the demon child was ungratefully unenthusiastic about Airplane’s careful approach. 

 “Ah, Didi, don’t growl at me! See, look! Look! It’s medicine! Medicine for your gege to stop the bleeding and... make sure his organs go back on the inside. Eugh. Ah, anyway, I’m helping. It’s okay because I’m helping. See, look, I’m helping. It’s okay.” 

 Airplane managed to get pretty far before the demon child couldn’t take it anymore and tried to bite him again. Airplane shrieked, but managed to wrestle the demon child off him, and ended up grabbing some of the food supplies as a desperate distraction. 

 “Bite this! Bite this! Didi, look, it’s food! Food for Didi!” 

 The demon child growled, but putting the food directly in front of his face caught his attention. The demon child’s eyes narrowed in on the food in a super predatory way that was unseen in human babies. Airplane gladly made the sacrifice. He threw the food to the demon child, who scrambled to catch it, gave it a sniff, and then started to hesitantly nibble on it before taking bigger bites. 

 “See? Don’t bite your Shang-Gege and he’ll give you food instead,” Airplane muttered, quickly turning his attention to the bigger demon. “You stay there and chew that and let me help your gege. I’m helping. I’m helping. I’m helping. Shang-Gege is helping Didi’s gege. Everything is good. Everything is okay. There’s no need for biting.” 

 Airplane didn’t really know how much the demon child understood of what he was saying. The demon child looked more than old enough to understand basic speech. He at least understood “stay”, Airplane decided, by sitting off to the side and anxiously chewing through dried food supplies while Airplane worked rearranging Mobei-Jun’s guts and then bandaging up the blood mess. 

 Maybe it helped to see that Airplane had no intention of eating the unconscious and vulnerable Mobei-Jun or something. He was pretty sure that was a demon thing. 

 He couldn’t bring himself to think about what he was doing! 

 If he thought about his actions here, he was going to throw up or something! 

 So long as he kept his hands moving here, he didn’t have to think about anything. He was just an An Ding Peak disciples hard at work betraying the sect. Yeah. 

 Eventually, Mobei-Jun was in as good a shape as Airplane could get him. The demon child - Didi, Airplane decided to call him - was curled up into a ball beside where Mobei-Jun was lying. Didi looked like he was forcing himself to stay alert. 

 “It’s all okay now,” Airplane said. “See? I helped. Shang-Gege helped your gege. Your Gege needs to sleep to get better and now you can sleep beside him.” 

 Airplane washed himself as best he could and tried to wash Didi a little, but the demon child was resistant and snapped at him. Airplane, expecting this now, successfully dodged the snap and wiped at Didi’s face. Trying to be nice was too much work! Airplane’s clean-up job ended up being pretty shitty. There was no doing anything about Mobei-Jun’s blood staining Didi’s clothes around the knee and elbow. 

 “Ah, fine, curl up in blood again, you little brat,” Airplane sighed. 

 Didi curled up against Mobei-Jun’s side again and, apparently, immediately fell asleep. 

 Airplane secured their hiding place as best he could, took stock of their pitiful amount of resources, and tried not to panic about what the fuck he was was going to do now. He was exhausted. Saving two ungrateful demons was hard work. He had no idea what was going to happen next. He was pretty sure he had just made the worst mistake of his life, but it was a little late to change things now. 

 Airplane found a good patch of floor to watch over the demons and let himself collapse. He was too tired to think anymore. There were too many things to think about. 

 He hoped that Mobei-Jun didn’t die. Demons were hardy and demon lords were even hardier, but the real world that had been made out of his shitty web-novel was really unpredictable sometimes. For all Airplane knew, Mobei-Jun was going to develop an infection and a fever. Maybe Mobei-Jun would die anyway and Airplane was going to be stuck with a bitey demon brat who hated him. 

 Airplane yawned. Keeping his eyes open was becoming really hard. Fuck. 

 Watching Didi’s back go up and down with his unconscious breaths was pretty mesmerizing. It was really tempting to sneak over there and pinch one of those chubby, chubby cheeks. Or those cute demon ears. But the demon child looked almost as tired as Airplane felt and probably bit in his sleep. 

 Airplane really didn’t want to think about what would have happened if he’d just taken off with Mobei-Jun, not knowing the demon child had been hiding nearby. That might have been the worst possible situation. Didi was dirty and exhausted now, sure, but he looked like one of those babies who should have been spoiled and happy all the time, and not mercilessly abandoned to the human world.  

-

 Airplane woke up with a hand around his throat, squeezing. 

 There was a dark shadow above him and an even darker feeling in the air. The hand at his throat felt freezing cold. The air was burning with hateful demonic energy that felt like acid on his skin. Airplane struggled, but it was all immoveable. 

 “Where is he?” the shadow snarled. 

 Airplane choked. 

 His shadowy attacker belatedly seemed to realize that Airplane couldn’t talk when he was being choked to death! The squeezing let up enough for Airplane to breathe again. His lungs felt like they were burning hot and cold! His throat felt crushed and ruined. 

 “What did you do with him?” the attacker demanded. 

 “...W-wh…?” 

 “The child! Where is the child?!” 

 Airplane realized here that he was looking into the face of his future murderer. It was hard to make out in the darkness when he was being choked! 

 Mobei-Jun looked wild. His eyes looked like lightning. 

 “The ch-child… ch- chi- is-” 

 Mobei-Jun snarled again with impatience. 

 Even though it definitely wasn’t Airplane’s fault he couldn’t talk coherently! 

 “H-here,” Airplane choked out. 

 Mobei-Jun’s grip tightened, but then the man froze. His head snapped to the side. 

 Airplane followed the demon lord’s gaze. 

 Through the darkness, if Airplane squinted, he could see a small figure crouched by the supplies. Didi was frozen, watching them, chubby cheeks stuffed with stolen food. 

 Oh, there weren’t words for what Airplane wanted to say to the brat! Sneaking around like this in the middle of the night! Nearly getting Airplane strangled for no reason! 

 Mobei-Jun released Airplane immediately and flew across the room to the demon child, who threw up his arms immediately. Mobei-Jun took his younger brother into his arms and then collapsed heavily to the floor. By the sound of it, he crushed some of their precious food supplies as he fell! But the man was too busy wrapping his arms around the demon child to care about things like that, letting Didi sob into his chest, glaring at Airplane over the demon child’s head. 

 Airplane kept his distance! He knew better than to get anywhere near that! 

 The silence was very heavy. 

 He was certain that Mobei-Jun had reopened his wounds, if they had managed to close at all! As time trickled by them, he could see red seeping down the man’s side. 

 “...There are more bandages,” Airplane said finally, hoarsely. 

 Mobei-Jun’s scowl deepened, his lip curling. 

 “Ah… if- if you want them.” 

 What an asshole! 

 Airplane stayed put and didn’t make any sudden moves. 

 His throat felt like shit, so he tried to heal it with his spiritual energy. It was hard to focus with the demon lord glaring at him like that, on the other side of the room, but he didn’t really have anything better to do. There were only so many names he could silently call this ungrateful young demon who’d attacked the bro who’d saved his life! 

 At least Mobei-Jun hadn’t bitten him too. 

 Time trickled by and by. Eventually, Mobei-Jun’s eyelids began to droop close. The man’s injury appeared to be pulling him back under, whether he liked it or not. 

 After Mobei-Jun’s eyes had closed without opening for a long time, Airplane finally risked moving again. Mobei-Jun didn’t wake up, but Didi’s eyes fixed on Airplane, which made Airplane fear being bitten as he carefully came closer. 

 “Ahhh, see? Your gege is fine. I’m just… just going to put him back to bed, alright? You- don’t get up… just stay there and don’t bite me. We’re putting gege back to bed.” 

 Airplane dragged Mobei-Jun back to where the man had been before, with Didi staying put on his elder brother’s chest. Airplane was sure that this couldn’t be good for the demon lord’s wounds! But clearly Mobei-Jun didn’t give a shit about his own health! 

 “Didi, can you get off gege’s chest? Keep hugging him, just slide off, please? Gege is hurt, remember? Gege is hurt and we need to help him. See, he’s bleeding. Please let your Shang-Gege help again and don’t bite me. Everyone is fine. Everyone is happy. Everyone is getting along just fine and helping and healing. There’s no need to bite your Shang-Gege who is only helping, okay?” 

 Didi was more cooperative this time, sliding off Mobei-Jun chest to hug his less-injured side, while Airplane poked at the demon lord’s bleeding. The injuries looked… a lot better than Airplane would have expected them to. This healing rate was nothing short of astounding. Was this the power of an OP demon lord? How unfair! 

 Airplane did his best fixing the man up again. 

 He should have just let the man rot! 

 Mobei-Jun had just tried to kill him again! He would totally deserve it! 

 But there was a demon child carefully watching and Airplane didn’t want to end up with custody if his future murderer died here after all. What would he do with a demon child? Take them back to the sect?! His master would love that, he’s sure! 

 “Ah, looks like he’s getting lots better,” Airplane told Didi hoarsely, rubbing at his poor throat. “You’re doing a good job looking after him. Good job helping your gege. Keep helping his sleep, okay? Stay right there and don’t go sneaking off again, okay? Please don’t go sneaking off again, your Shang-Gege won’t be able to take it.” 

 Didi just blinked at him. 

 “Good job,” Airplane said. “Good job. Shang-Gege is… going to make sure that everything is okay outside. You stay here and protect your gege. Good job.” 

 That said, Airplane crept backwards, got up, and went outside. 

 Once outside, he promptly fell to his knees and curled in on himself. 

 “Holy fucking shit,” he said. 

[jade-len]

ok i love the idea of a third transmigrator, so consider this: you wanna know what else would be hilarious? is if that third transmigrator was like, the complete opposite of shen yuan when it comes to PIDW. instead of being a super hater, they're a super fan.

before, they always donated to airplane bro and was literally half of sqh's income. fucking loads of money and a whole paragraph literally every chapter saying how much they love it. at one point, the third transmigrator probably gave fan mail to airplane expressing just how meaningful PIDW is to them and how it has helped them get through rough times throughout their life.

they also probably have a whole blog dedicated to hyperfixating on PIDW. fanart, fanfics, way too overly complicated in depth analyzations that airplane definitely just put in there for shits and giggles, but when he actually sees the post they made he can't help but feel kinda bad, so he praises them for being such a smart reader and catching on! (maybe they also create some of the official work for PIDW, oooo)

thing is, they absolutely fucking know PIDW is a shitshow no matter how much they love it (like how shen yuan hates it but deep down it's his whole livelihood). they know it's badly written, they know that sqh fucked over the entire story, but they just can't help it! it's such a comfort novel to them, despite the dumpster fire it is!

shen yuan probably either got into fights with them every time he came across them on the online forums or respectfully kept his distance, feeling more pity than annoyance. either way, sy's mindset was totally like "are they stupid? this is clearly the trashiest thing in this entire world! but airplane doesn't deserve such a devoted fan, it's really not fair for them!"

honestly, i don't know how airplane would feel about them. happy that he pretty much has such a devoted fan who is ALSO like an online sugar daddy? guilty for having the super fan do most of his work, being like, "yup! that was totally what i was planning, ahaha!"? i have no idea. knowing him, it'd be a good mix of conflicted feelings... probably most likely grateful. look, they're a big part of the reason why he can get the fancy, higher quality instant ramen, okay!?

anyways, i think it'd also be hilarious if the third transmigrator climbed the ranks in determination to just see the peak and all it's glory.. maybe after sqq transmigrated. but they're just this really intimidating person. not because of their looks or anything, but because of how quick they are to call out on any of sqq's or sqh's weirdness. how they seem to always have their eye on them, just watching. like they know something.

(at some point, sqq and sqh try to test some weird thing to see if transmigrator 3 was, you know, a transmigrator, but ultimately they fail because it's funnier if they both just think they're an npc who is about to know too much and both freak out because of it. at the same time, transmigrator 3 also believes that sqq and sqh are just npcs but they just transmigrated into a weird version of PIDW AU where shen qingqiu is actually pretty chill instead of there being other transmigrators )

eventually transmigrator stumbles across sqh's writing. and then they like.. sort of find it very comforting? something about it feels so familiar, like home. even though they know sqh is no good, working with mobei-jun, they'll let him stick around.. for now.

sqh and transmigrator 3 start to have some sort of weird bond where they start inviting themselves for tea, reads his stuff, and leaves. and it just repeats. at first, sqh is very against it! this random npc is just barging in and pretty much demanding to see his drafts! but, it does feel nice to have someone so.. willing to spend time with him, and actually read his stuff.. even if it's kind of awkward! then, the npc starts really analyzing things sqh randomly put in the little prompts. wow! reminds him a lot of a certain person. but his sweet naive super fan would never be so.. like this. stand offish, downright cold at times!

he wonders how they're doing.

eventually, sqh's true identity is revealed. but instead of being killed or whatever the fuck transmigrator 3 looks like theyre about to do, they just fucking break down in front of him. all hell breaks loose and now sqh knows that his super fan is transmigrator 3, and literally won't leave his side.

transmigrator 3 goes from a somewhat cold, intimidating man who mostly does his own thing, to a nervous mess talking to sqh ("i- i am such a big fan of pidw! you probably don't even remember me but i did this and that!! wait, you do remember? oh my god, i am literally going to die from happiness! you even kept the letter?? this is the best day of my life!! i'm so sorry, i'm just really happy and excited to actually meet you, like- oh god, i probably look like a mess-").

now we have: the hack author, the super hater(fan), and the #1 PIDW lover. maybe they even become a trio of transmigrator besties. it's a nice change of pace, with transmigrator 3 being not too unlike a middle ground for sqq and sqh lol

svsss is funny for a lot of reasons ofc but one of them to me is that if somehow there was a third transmigrator who knew that the other transmigrators were the author and a hate-fan, and their options as to who's-who were

-guy who plays a pivotal role in both versions of the story, managed to go from one of the main character's greatest enemies to his husband, single-handedly saved the realms, has all encompassing knowledge of literally everything to do with pidw

and

-cannon fodder villain who is somehow still alive and only does paperwork

not in a million years would they pick who's-who correctly

[vodkassassin]

Hey hun! Reminding you about that Moshang list like you asked!

Sorry this took so long, I ran out of energy and didn’t get any more until like, yesterday. Okay, so! Moshang fic recs!!

AN IDIOT’S GUIDE TO A HAPPY MARRIAGE by tagteamme. Chapters: 8/8, words:  156,680

Summary:  In order to pay off a debt that's not his, Shang Qinghua agrees to marry a man that's as cold and unyielding as he is stupidly rich.

Vod Notes: I’m not normally one for modern AU’s, but there’s just something about aspiring CEO MBJ and flat out broke SQH somehow wiggling his way into his heart that gets to me. The characterizations in this story are flawless, and the customary Moshang miscommunication/misunderstanding had me tearing out my hair at several points, yelling at these two dumbasses; and that’s how you know it’s a good one. 9/10 because I experienced lots of stress while reading this, which actually is a sign of a fantastic story, I’m just really weak and pathetic and immerse myself in reading way too much, so actually 11/10! Depends on how you look at it I suppose lol

a rose by any other name by sarahyyy. Chapters 1/1, words: 6,795

Summary: The one where Shang Qinghua suddenly becomes Prime Demon Marriage Material™ (bc of the LBH/SQQ marriage).

Vod Notes: somft. MBJ just loves SQH so very much, and SQH is pining ad dense as fuck. The perfect Moshang fic recipe. They are warm, soft, clueless idiots in this while still somehow being entirely competent, and we love to see that. SQH is a man made of contingency plans <3 I love it when authors do my son justice. 10/10

How to Panic Your Demon King by StarlightLion. Chapters: 1/1, words: 7,816

Summary: Mu Qingfang is starting to wonder if this is a requirement to be a demon lord. At least this one isn't kidnapping him.

Vod Notes: A delicious one shot about MBj worrying about the love of his life, who is a strong, dedicated, talented man who has an unfortunate training mishaps and then tries to cover it up bc he’s also dumb and doesn’t want to worry anyone. Stupid man. SQH we love you pls take care of yourself. You’re giving your husband grey hairs. A special treat toward the end with a MQF POV! My sexy doctor man is exasperated and done with everything. 10/10

it must follow, as the night the day by Tossawary. Chapters: 7/7, words: 26,342

Summary: Airplane Bro transmigrates into his own web-novel only to find out that the System messed up his world! Shang Qinghua is a demon in this world! All the characters supposed to be humans are demons in this world! And all the characters supposed to be demons are...?

Vod Notes: You simply cannot go wrong with Tossawary. They have the most scrumptious servings of Moshang in all the land. For this specific one, we’re gifted with a lovely Role Reversal AU! It’s got everything! Demon!SQH who is a absolute mess of a man? Serious cultivator MBJ who is stoic and cold but has the heart of a hero (or just a heart hardwired for SQH specifically)? Espionage? Feed it to me slowly like grapes. 11/10

You Will Never Step Lightly in the Dark by Janusoverlord. Chapters: 11/11, words 57,218

Summary: Shang Qinghua wakes up in the aftermath of Tianlang-Jun's rampage on Cang Qiong Mountain and has to navigate the delicate political situation he now finds himself in. Luo Binghe is building a harem with Shen Qingqiu as his first, and honestly most terrifying, husband. Yet, Luo Binghe seems to be turning his eyes to Shang Qinghua as a possibility as well. Excuse you? What is this? He didn't sign up for this!

Vod Notes: holy fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck this one blew my entire mind! Not only do we have SQH looking out for number one (which is himself, bless you my son) when shit turns strictly bad, but we have a absolutely, one of a kind, PHENOMENAL badass SQQ who is supporting his bro and fucking shit up left and right and everywhere for Airplane’s sake. God. This was like drinking fine wine. Breathtaking, spectacular. My life has been changed. MBJ spends most of this being a big, sulky, upset mess but don’t worry, cucumberplane fixes that up themselves. LBH get’s put in time out by both his husbands (because this is LBH/SQQ/LQG), because he fucks up in this majorly and SQQ isn’t fucking happy and doesn’t let him get away with it just because he gives him the puppy eyes and I AM LIVINGGGGGGGGG!! TLDR: simply superb badass cucumberplane, sad boy MBJ hours, and LQG gets stuck with babysit the naughty demon king duty. VERDICT: umm?! 7000/10

A Queen’s Trials (And How to Speedrun Them) by daddykeehl. Chapters: 1/8(as of 4/17/21), words: 25,000.

Summary: Shang Qinghua is now well on his way to the same happily-ever-after that every protagonist gets, but two things stand in his way. The Queen's Trials, and a council that just won't give up. Too bad for them, they really don't know who they're dealing with.

Vod Notes: Sorry I can’t hear any of your questions over the loud, shrill screams of my absolute LOVE for this story. it’s not finished, no, but it’s set up in arcs per chapter, so I’m fine with waiting for the next one to come along, and so will you if you read this. Because, lemme tell you. Fucking amazing. An SQH who knows everything about the North? He’s God, dammit, why wouldn’t he? Using that to his advantage? Not just to prolong his life, but to legally win the right to marry MBJ. God, this story is just absolutely breathtaking. I was speechless when I got to the end of chapter one. The sheer level of worldbuilding! Catch me with actual hearts in my eyes. The small DETAILS! The magnificently built OCs! The culture, the writing! The character interactions! SQH goes around accidentally winning the lifelong loyalty of every badass, OP demon in the Northern realm. I am still screeching. daddykeehl you’re my number one. fucking 200k/10 heart eyes emoji, heart eyes emoji (also, it’s part of a series! The story before this one, Quick, Easy Steps To Realizing You’re The Queen Consort, is also VERY good.)

[writing-frenzy]

Plz let Airplane be EVEN MORE Awesome - Fic Rec Part Duo

*Stares at all the notes my last post got* Nice to know we are all just as Thirsty for the good boi as Mobei-Jun is.

So Thus, I have decided to make another! (Smashes the post button) Since there was a lot, I just decided to make another post.

here we go kids, more of that good Airplane love... alongside that good quality Moshang because I am biased~ 

(Plz share if you find more!)

a cup of vinegar, a spoon of sugar by Shamelesscooper - “Your timing certainly is impeccable, my lord,” Wei Wuxian groans, rubbing his back. “What brings you here for the second time in as many nights…?” “I left my cloak,” Mobei-Jun says, shooting Wei-Wuxian a dirty look as the bird demon shrugs his robe back on.“You certainly did!” Shang Qinghua exclaims, crossing his arms quite crossly. “You can’t just leave your things everywhere, my king!” Mobei-Jun’s hard stare refocuses on Shang Qinghua, and he can’t help but shrink back, hurriedly rummaging around in his qiankun pouch for the offending garment. As soon as Shang Qinghua finds it, Mobei-Jun takes it from his hands and throws it over his shoulders, breathing in a deep sigh as if it relieved him to have it there again. If you miss it so much, why did you even leave it behind?! Shang Qinghua almost wants to say, but he is quite fond of his head, actually, and would rather Mobei-Jun not take it off his shoulders, thankyouverymuch. 

--Shang Qinghua is tasked with escorting the leader of the Yiling Carrion Tribe to Gusu, and it'd be fine if only Mobei-Jun would stop poking his (gorgeous, beautiful, drop-dead handsome) head in!

*Evil grin* here we have a delicious rare side of Jealous Mobei, Shang Qinghua doing something that most MDZS fans dream of doing once, and a side of shamelessness from our favorite ‘Lovebirds’ XD Not to mention how steamy it gets~

-

You Will Never Step Lightly In The Dark by Janusoverlord - Shang Qinghua wakes up in the aftermath of Tianlang-Jun's rampage on Cang Qiong Mountain and has to navigate the delicate political situation he now finds himself in. Luo Binghe is building a harem with Shen Qingqiu as his first, and honestly most terrifying, husband. Yet, Luo Binghe seems to be turning his eyes to Shang Qinghua as a possibility as well. Excuse you? What is this? He didn't sign up for this!

Okay, make sure you read the tags kiddies because uhhh, this has some themes to it. It is also part of a series as well, but I read it stand alone and it does good with how it explains things; as it is...

Let me just say, Luo Binghe does not know what he just got into; all mortals will bow to the might of our lord Airplane! I really did like this and I am tentatively on the fence about reading the rest of the series, because the writing is so damn good but we will see how my ship cravings twist.

-

With Ink and Sword by xnemone - Shang Qinghua is appropriately nervous when he passes the Imperial Exams only to be assigned not to the Emperor’s palace, but to the barren lands ruled by a lord known to be as ruthless as he is cold. Although his friend and confidant Shen Qingqiu gives him a sympathetic smile and a mountain of furs before he sets off, Shang Qinghua feels less than reassured.He expects ridicule, a harsh regime, even rejection. What he does not expect is for Mobei-Jun to take one look at him among all the scholars and servants of his palace, and proclaim him his.

Now, this is such a good story, I love it, is makes me feel happy and squishy inside with the good Moshang, and you know what? It has my new favorite thing in the world!

Shang Qinghua calls Cucumber bro out! AND IT IS GLORIOUS!!! (Seriously, why does this not happen more often?)

-

Good Vibrations by Feynite -  In Shang Qinghua’s defense, this whole trope was originally something he’d only ever written in for Sha Hualing, for precisely one scene.

In which I actually feel ashamed for forgetting such a treasure. Like, Feynite is a wonderful wordsmith, invoking so many thoughts and good shit with their words and characters, and by god do I end up just loving them even more then before.

This story passes the Vibe Check! (Luo Binghe also gets a Vibe Check~)

-

From Your Perspective by cozycitywitch - It was nothing more than a curse, probably, and surly the witch doctor could fix it? So what else was Shang Qinghua to do inside Mobei Jun's body until the end of the night? He couldn't be blamed for his curiosity! He was only a man! Or the one where Moshang switch bodies and Shang Qinghua can't help himself.

Now, this is a lovely, spicy lime where while there is no big action or technical awesomeness going on, it does have some wonderful images; Shang Qinghua’s hamster body with the aura of a king, him showing off being intimating which means Shang Qinghua can indeed be scary, it is something that could happen if he has the motivation for it.

Not to mention this is just a hot story all around~ (My kingdom’s for My King’s POV on this~)

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ham hunt by jets_adjacent - There's a wolf at Shang Qinghua's heels and his only thought is: Northern mating rituals are a pain in the ass.

This is a really, really good A/B/O fic; it also shows just how tricky and sneaky our Shang Qinghua can be, as well as a mischievous side I just love seeing in our favorite Peak Lord. And let’s not forget the spicy goodness of this fic, which is really tasty~ (And can I get a shout out for consent and negotiated kinks!)

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In which healthy relationship skills are forcibly brought into Proud Immortal Demon Way by two bros by Rafaela271412421 -  Look, if no one is going to give these people friends and healthy relationships then by GOD, I WILL do it myself! It's about two bros bringing healthy relationships into PIDW both intentionally and not. Gods and deities, accidental and not, will also be included. Also, it's in bullet point format, so you’ve been warned.

ahahahahaahhahahahaahaha! I love this fucking outline/bullet points presentation, it is something I always end up going back to and giggling like an idiot. The is really a healing piece, my crops have been watered, my face is clear, and Airplane and Cucumber Bros go completely feral~ I love it, I want to propose marriage~

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trinkets for a king by jets_adjacent - Shang Qinghua gives many extraordinary gifts to his King. His King finally catches on. --aka: Mobei Jun has never been courted by a human before.

So, this is a wonderful subversion of the ‘Mobei-Jun courts/plans his wedding to Shang Qinghua all the while said man is unaware’. like, it is so cute and I love jelly Airplane; it gives me life. Also, one of the few we see Airplane taking full advantage of all his author knowledge and using it for the devious plans~

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The Southern King and The North Star by Luuplup - A series of meetings between the Southern King and a cultivator. The happy moments, the romantic moments, the sad moments.  

Another really cute Role Reversal I find I greatly enjoy, with a very competent, beloved Lord Demon!Airplane :D it makes me happy when I read it, I end up wanting to hug something~ It seems like it will be a slow burn, what with our favorite moronsexuals, but oh is it delicious seeing the buildup~ 

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under a wicked star by tagteamme - Caught unaware, Mobei Jun is kidnapped for leverage. On the eighth day, Mobei Jun is broken out of his trance by the sound of something being tossed into his pit. It’s a lot lighter than what they throw food down in. He realizes that today, he is not tied down.When he moves off the bed, he does not need the canopy post to support his weight as he stands up. The object on the floor glints in the firelight, and Mobei Jun crouches to pick it up. His face is immoving; slowly, he turns the An Ding peak lord crown in his hand, looking at the blood-soaked metal through the light.

SQH to the rescue! Alongside some good old fashioned angsty Moshang miscommunication but with Mobei-Jun’s POV this time, and some absolutely good steamy good times for all XD 

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we seal our fate by ketolic (corrose) - All things considered, it really was sort of obvious. Hey! Anyone can be a genius in retrospect. Hindsight is 20/20! Besides, who can blame him! He'd never written about this facet of Mobei Jun's life before! Still...considering all the times he'd gotten his hands on Mobei Jun's sealskin, he's sort of shocked that it took him so long to figure it out.

:D This story makes me giggle uncontrollably, and still finds ways to unexpectedly stab me in the heart. I love it! Not to mention we get to see SQH be awesome! Sure, he flails around as he does it, but busts out the fighting moves and even fits a rescue in there! So good, so in character, I love every watery moment of this fic... good thing I’m so thirsty- (Is shot)

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But yeah! These are some more good stories I found, some a bit more- urrrr- thirstier then others~ you can find the first thing of Fic Recs Here! And Plz, share more awesome Airplane whenever you have a chance~

[truly-morgan]

[Kinktober 2021: Wax Play (18+)]

BingQiu | Scum Villain Self-Saving System 27-10-2021

Day 26: [Wax Play] / F̷i̷s̷t̷i̷n̷g̷ / M̷e̷n̷o̷p̷h̷i̷l̷i̷a̷

Luo Binghe is a curious man and when he overhears his husband and Shang Qinghua talking about wax play, he wants to know what it is about.

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“I did not expect for cucumber bro to know about wax play” Shang Qinghua laughed, catching Luo Binghe attention as he was getting back to their bamboo house. “What a kinky one you are” sqh teased him.

Shen Qingqiu rolled his eyes a bit, drinking his tea, “I read your trash novel, I learned some, but I stumble onto that one younger, I... got curious... tried once and ended up burning myself” sqq admitted. Not a good experience.

“Shizun did things without me?! And with someone else?!” lbh suddenly said as he came in, looking at his husband rather hurt. Sqq nearly choked on his tea, not expecting for his husband to have heard them talk about it.

“No! I did it... alone” he said, unsure how to explain to lbh that it was in a time before he was even sqq, neither he nor sqh had had that discussion with the demons yet.

“What is this wax play then? If shizun likes it this disciple wants to do it too”. 

“I’ll be taking my leave,” sqh said, not exactly wanting to hear in all detail the way lbh wanted to fuck his best friend.

After an afternoon explaining what wax play is. And of course, lbh wanted to try the moment sqq mentioned he did had an interest in trying.

And this is how now lbh was kneeling in front of him, already down to his underrobes holding out some candles. And how could sqq say no to these puppy eyes. 

“Are you sure this wax I-”

“I asked Shua Hualing for wax that can be used safely because I knew Shizun wouldn’t accept if I didn’t bring proper wax” lbh explained earnestly, shuffling a bit closer to where sqq was sitting on the bed, now between his leg.

‘I am sorry shl for making him ask you about this’ sqq thought to himself, wondering how could his husband be this shameless and ask shl and mbj about things like this. 

At least he supposed they were indeed safe (not that some wax would have really hurt the /protagonist/).

Sqq sighed. He would lie if he said he was not interested in doing this actually. Especially that now lbh seemed more than interested. He hummed a bit, patting his lap.

Soon he had his lap full of his husband, undoing the little robes that were left on him, taking a red candle, observing it first.

“Shizun” lbh said a bit unable to keep himself in place correctly, stopping when he received a little kiss from his husband. He watched as sqq lit the candle, waiting for some wax to melt before letting so fall on his tight.

It was interesting feeling his legs contract around his lap, hearing him gasp in surprise despite expecting it, watching the wax solidify. “Are you alright?” sqq asked, lbh nodding, gently touching his hand to guide him to do it again, “Hand in the back” sqq softly ordered, hearing lbh whine despite still doing it.

So sqq went back to dropping wax, stopping when it seemed too much, watching with interest the way lbh muscle would contract under it, the way the bigger droplet would slide to the side before solidifying.

He was about to warn lbh again when he moved his hand, only to see him stop a droplet from falling on his clean robes. “Shizun shouldn’t get his robes dirty,” he said.

Sqq nodded at this, it would be troublesome to get them dirty (though he knew lbh would get them back to perfect after). 

He tapped lbh tight slightly to make him move, the demon lord kneeling on the bed as he watched him undress too, soon coming back to him fully naked.

He made lbh sit cross-legged on the bed, sitting in his lap too, going back to waxing him with interest, watching the pretty colours dropping down lbh torso, fingers smearing the still hot wax against him, enjoying the hot feeling.

He was about to apologise to lbh when a couple of droplets fell on his dick, only to hear him moan and grip his hips. He looked up curiously at his husband, kissing his forehead.

“Do you allow me to drop more on your cock” he asked, lbh looking up at him with teary eyes. “Yes,” he replied. 

It was fascinating how hard lbh got from the wax falling directly on his dick. He was truly a masochist and something in sqq was slowly blooming a bit more at this.

Then sqq jumped a bit when some wax dropped on him. Binghe hand quickly hovered about it, unsure what to do, looking worried about him.“I am alright” sqq said, hand a bit hesitant before dropping more on himself. It was actually enjoyable, not as burning as he tried in the past.

“Shizun looks pretty with wax on him” lbh complimented near his ear. Sqq smiled at this, it was pretty indeed.

Soon, they were both a mess of coloured wax, rutting against each other, sqq forgetting he had ordered lbh not to touch. He only stopped when they both came and a lot of the wax was already used, but also there was an already good amount of wax on lbh.

“You did so good today,” sqq said as he kissed lbh to stop his crying from feeling good, peeling off the wax (which was also fun to do). 

Maybe they should try again later, it is not as scary as the first time he did it.

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(hopefully, I wrote it right, I think waxplay is also one of those kinks that are easier and prettier to draw than to write but the two others are just, really not my cup of tea and waxplay looks fun)

Original - AO3