#spot bladder problem

[chipped-chimera]

Shrimp Inspector 🦐👀

[foldingfittedsheets]

When deciding who to work for there is a sliding scale of employers that goes from lil mom and pop shops up to corporate monoliths. I have worked at both ends of the spectrum and I can pretty definitively say that tiny businesses are hands down the most insane employers.

The sweet spot is a place that has like 10-20 stores; that’s the best possible work environment. They’ll be polished enough to have protocols that make work structured, but not so bogged down with bureaucracy that nothing can ever get done.

This story is not from that sweet spot. This story is from my time working at Oil and Vinegar. Now, like many little franchise stores, the idea was solid. There was on tap imported olive oil and vinegar and it was really delicious. Top shelf. Unfortunately, each location was like the Wild West because owners varied wildly.

My owner was the human embodiment of Mr. Krabbs. His eyes were just constant dollar signs. Throughout my training he informed me of the price of every single piece of equipment I touched and how much it cost to replace it.

He had cameras set up to watch us, and an app on his phone to access the live feed. He’d call us to ask what we were doing when he’d just checked a camera to make sure we were being honest.

Now, the trouble was he had two locations. His location further south did amazing. It was way more centrally located and got three times the foot traffic. The one I worked in was in the snottiest mall possible in Arizona and consequently the rent was through the roof.

It was not going well for my store. We didn’t get as much traffic, so there was only so much I could do in a day. I could dust, sweep, and wait for customers. I read a lot and was frank when he called to interrogate me. I always asked for additional tasks but he never had any. What could I do to prop up a failing business?

But this man was convinced there was some Secret Reason that the store I was in was doing worse. He crunched numbers, looked at staff, and eventually hit upon the most insane possible solution.

We used too much toilet paper.

We were probably stealing toilet paper! Bleeding him dry one single ply square at a time! How dare we need to use the bathroom?! His south location used half as much toilet paper as we did, we must be thieving little monsters!!!!

Friends. The south location was populated entirely by men. My location had three people on staff who had to sit to pee. It was so blindly transparently the source of the discrepancy but this man was convinced we were making off with toilet paper to bankrupt him.

So he implemented what he believed to be an entirely reasonable response to this base treachery. We were allowed to have one roll of toilet paper. At any given time, one roll was permitted to us. This was so transparently unhinged that we protested but he insisted. If we were low on toilet paper we needed to call him to drop off a roll that he brought from his home. Smiling jovially, he assured us he lived so close by that it would be no problem!

When we needed to call him often for more he started tearing his hair out. What were we using toilet paper for?! Why wasn’t his genius plan to stop our scandalous waste working??!

Finally, the manager, the only man on staff had to pull the owner aside and be like, “Look, man, their bladders are smaller. They need to wipe every time they pee. They need to pee even more on their period. Is this really the hill you want to die on?”

Yes. It was. The manager was fired unrelated reasons and denounced as a traitor. The toilet paper ration lasted until I quit and probably until the store closed six months later.

[dyingswanpavlova]

"Your girl" - Part 2 | The Salesman x Reader

Summary: After he spontaneously abducted you, you try to figure out what his plans are for you. Is it to break your will? Your body? Or something else entirely?

Warnings: dead dove do not eat, kidnapping, violence, abuse, something I'd call mild torture, hinting at traumatic experiences, claustrophobic spaces, chains, degradation

"Your girl" - The Salesman x Reader Masterlist

The hunger wasn't the worst part.

No, you had learned to live with the hunger. You were your mother's daughter after all. You had a certain tolerance when it came to unpleasant living conditions.

No, what was far worse than the hunger was the darkness. You had no idea what time it was. Was it still night or had the sun risen already? Were the birds still asleep or were they happily chirping and announcing a new, beautiful day?

Surely it was beautiful to someone. It was someone's birthday. Someone's wedding day. Someone simply got to have a lazy morning and have brunch and coffee at noon.

Not you, though. You were still chained up, still hidden away in a dark closet. And you couldn't even tell if it was night or day.

Yesterday had been far worse though. The memory of it still made you flinch.

Instead of a dark closet, you had spent your day chained to the bed. So far, so good. Up until the point when he made you drink a whole water bottle, right before he chained you up. And then he left. Then he fucking left. You had heard the door shut behind him.

You really weren't a proud person and you had quickly come to realize that your situation required a certain...delicacy. So, you didn't mind when you had to beg. You didn't mind crying or yelling at all. That you just did, it came as naturally as the sun rises early and sets late. You had even agreed to say those damned, magical words.

"I'm your girl, please, I'm your girl!"

But no, silly. It was too late.

"I don't want that fucking, pitiful bullshit." He had spat out as he had tightened the chains around your wrists. "You will say it and you will mean it. Until then, we'll make do with what we have."

Which was exactly what had happened. He had forced the water down your throat and eventually you found yourself in, what he called, your bed. It hadn't been all too bad at first. Except for the obvious discomfort and the constant fear that nagged at you. But it got worse, the moment you felt the pressure in your bladder.

You normally had to use the bathroom about every two hours at the latest. Your urethra was quite tight - You knew that, because your mother had dragged you to a gynecologist as a teen. She had been furious, because you had to use the bathroom so often as a child. She had often snapped at you. Sometimes she even made you wait and told you, you had to wait a certain amount of time, before you could use it. It always ended the same way. You on your knees, begging and pleading with her to let you pee. You could have just let go and peed yourself. As already mentioned, you weren't too proud. But that was a sore spot. More than twenty-three years later and it still was a sore spot.

Your mother sat beside you in the doctor's office, affectionately stroking your hair.

After the doctor finished his speech about the tight urethra, he began a new speech about the way one of your kidneys seemed to be a little slow. It worked, yes. But you had to spend your life going careful around salt and peeing.

My poor darling, she had murmured. I knew there was a reason you had to go so often. My poor, darling girl.

It wasn't normally a problem. Until yesterday, when the sadistic bastard had tied you up and left you like that for nine...fucking...hours.

Your body still hurt terribly, just thinking about it.

You had been tempted to let go and make a mess of yourself. Who cared after all? It was his fucking bed, his fucking clothes, his-

But you couldn't. You just couldn't.

So you had laid on that bed, cried and writhed for hours on end. By the time he came back, he wore the most surprised expression, because he had obviously expected you to let go and pee yourself.

He found you with your eyes swollen and your face puffy, but the bed was dry.

"Such a good girl." He had murmured and tenderly caressed your cheek. "My good girl."

By the time he uncuffed you, you nearly broke both legs jumping up and rushing towards the door. But his low voice brought you back to reality.

"Stop."

You stood frozen, facing away from him.

And then the softest "Please" passed past your lips.

He had been tempted to refuse you, you could tell. He was cruel, sadistic and simply fucking crazy. But for some reason, he had sighed, the sound almost making you sob.

"Go."

And that you did. It had been so painful and so terribly degrading, but you had managed. You had truly managed.

By the time you came back to your bedroom, he still sat on the edge of the bed. Just like the night before - you had expected him to get physical. But instead he simply beckoned you to come closer and instructed you to sit down on the floor before him.

So far he hadn't gotten physical. At least one good thing, you thought. He hadn't ravished you. Yet. Hadn't even tried to kiss you. Nothing.

Hesitantly, you had approached him and sat down on the floor, your arms wrapped tightly around your legs. God, you finally felt like a human again.

"Who are you?" He had asked in that gentle, silken voice.

"Your girl." The words were an obvious mantra, easily repeated all day if so he demanded. But to your horror, he tsked again and shook his head.

He had leaned closer until your faces almost touched and whispered: "You still don't mean it."

Your heart clenched tightly and you whispered: "Please, I-"

But he interrupted you by simply holding up his hand. His fingertips ran down your cheek in a gentle manner and you almost found yourself leaning closer.

Almost.

What two days of hunger and one day of bladder pain could do to you.

"Get in the closet." He instructed firmly.

You swallowed thickly.

"Please." You whispered again. Your desperate tone wasn't for show, the crack in your voice wasn't to manipulate him. You were truly exhausted. But he simply shook his head.

"Don't make me say it again."

You closed your eyes in defeat and buried your face in your hands for a moment. Then you nodded and carefully got up. Everything was a little giddy and dizzy, since the pancakes had been the last thing you ate. But you didn't complain. You weren't that stupid.

You had just been stupid enough to take his hand.

And get in his car.

And his fucking apartment.

If you had struggled, sure, he might have gone crazy and shot you. But was that really that much worse than the prospect of spending the rest of your life like this?

You moved into the closet, a tiny room with hardly enough space for you to stretch out your legs. He made you sit down and then he cuffed you up again. Sitting down, not laying down.

All the while he was in there with you, making sure the cuffs stayed in place, you had stared up at his face with the most desperate expression in your eyes.

Once he finished with the cuffs, all he did was glance down at you, almost gently and smile.

"Be a good girl and let me sleep tonight. Don't scream and shout like you did all morning."

You swallowed again and you couldn't hide the soft tremble of your lips.

"I'm afraid of the dark." You whispered.

He tilted his head to the side, almost thoughtfully. Then he hummed. You had grown to hate that sound.

"I wasn't going to turn off the lights, but well. You may thank yourself. Good night, sweet girl."

"No! Please!"

And with that the lights went out and the door closed.

Click.

You couldn't tell if he slept in your room, to make sure you stayed where you were or if he went to the other side of the hallway and slept in his own room. Whatever it was, you couldn't tell because you didn't hear a thing. All you heard was the sound of your own heavy breathing and the way it got interrupted by a sob every now and then.

It had been a few hours. You really couldn't tell how many. And every time you were about to fall asleep, you flinched and your head shot back up, suddenly all too aware of where you were and what was going on.

Until eventually your exhaustion got the better of you and you fell asleep, your face buried against your knees.

It was a restless sleep, haunted by the memory of the man on the train lines.

But at least you hadn't dreamt of your mother ever since.

Some time later, you were woken up when you felt his hand press down on your shoulder. You flinched so hard, you immediately got a headache. He chuckled at the sight.

"Good morning, sweet girl. Did you sleep well?" He purred.

You were so exhausted and straight-up annoyed that you were tempted to ignore him or give a snarky remark. But you decided against it. Also, you felt lightheaded by how hungry you were, so you simply looked up at him with a soft, timid look.

"Awww." He smirked as he slowly uncuffed you. "I slept just wonderful. You did a good job, keeping your pretty little mouth shut."

He yanked you to your feet, causing you to stumble against him. He instantly wrapped his arms around you and ran his hands over your back. It would have come off as soothing and affectionate, if he wasn't such a twisted bastard. But again, you endured the touch.

It wasn't like you were touch-starved. Not at all. You had never been with a man before, not in that way. But you missed kindness. You missed someone smiling at you in the morning. And if it was only your boss, wishing you a productive day. You missed people.

"Are you ready for your water bottle?"

When he saw the horrified look on your face, he laughed heartily.

"I'm just playing, sweet girl. It's not funny twice."

He carefully led you out of the closet and through the apartment.

"Are you hungry?" He murmured as he gently pressed a hand against the small of your back.

You felt yourself nod. It was obviously some kind of trick, because you were certain by now that you would soon die of starvation and that that had been his plan all along. But you still nodded.

Eventually you reached the kitchen, where the smell of food immediately filled your nostrils. The table was filled with food - rice, vegetables, some meat and fruit. You nearly blacked out at the sight.

"Come. Sit."

He sat you down a few feet away from the table. Of course. A trick. He'd probably make you watch while he ate or something like that.

He sat down opposite you and looked at you for a long moment.

"I'll ask you a question. And you'll answer. Truthfully. No second chances. If you answer to my liking, you get to eat. If you mess it up, you get punished."

You simply stared at him. It wasn't a question, so you didn't answer. Also, after three days of not eating anything - were it truly three days? How long had you been in that godforsaken closet? - you didn't really care about anything else.

"Good." He said calmly. "Are you a virgin?"

That seemed to pique his interest the most, because he stared at you intently, not even smirking for once.

Immediately you felt your face flush in embarassment, but you felt yourself nod.

"Yes." You whispered.

He leaned back in his chair and hummed softly. "You're not lying to me, are you?"

You quickly shook your head.

"How old are you again?"

"Twenty-four." You whispered in the same, weak voice.

"Delicious." He purred. Then he reached over and grabbed a spoonful of rice. When he held it out to you, you choked it down like a rabid animal.

"Careful. You'll get sick." He said in a tone that resembled gentleness. By now you knew there was nothing gentle about him. Nothing good.

But you pushed the thought back, when he fed you another spoon of rice. Two questions, two bites.

"What is the reason you live and work in a country where you don't even speak the language or know the way back to your apartment?"

You swallowed. "I got a good job offer."

"Bullshit." He narrowed his eyes. "The real reason."

You considered lying. But you were sure, for some reason, he would find out.

"To get away from my family." You then whispered.

He sighed in an exaggerated manner and set the spoon aside.

"Too bad, sweet girl. You deceived me the first time. You know the rules. I need to punish you."

You closed your eyes, albeit briefly. It was like they had a mind of their own and you were so exhausted that you could hardly take any more of this.

"You're lucky though. You get to pick your punishment."

Your brows furrowed suspiciously and he smiled.

"No deceit, sweet girl. You get to pick between two options. I'll give you ten seconds each time. If you don't choose on time, I choose for you."

You buried your face in your hands, but eventually you nodded.

His words felt like a gunshot.

"I slap your face or I cut off your hair. Choose."

You froze.

Fuck.

Of course you knew which one you'd pick. You couldn't cut off your hair. For various reasons. First off, it was deeply rooted into your mind that you needed to keep your hair long and lush.

Or else who would ever marry you, honey? No, no. You don't get to cut it off. Not ever. You wouldn't want to disappoint mama, hm?

And then again...Your hair was one of the few things you truly liked about your appearance. You liked the color, the texture...You just enjoyed looking at it whenever you felt bad about yourself. You played with it whenever you were nervous. It was your hair.

When he shot you an impatient look, you suddenly remembered the rules.

Three...two...

"Slap." You gasped out.

He leaned back and his smile widened.

"Are you sure?"

You nodded quickly.

"Smart girl." He purred, almost seductively. "Brave girl."

He didn't give you any time or sign to brace yourself. Instead he simply reached out and slapped your face, with an intensity that made your breath hitch. Your head snapped to the side and you let out a pained moan.

The pain of the slap stung. But not half as much as it would have if you had to cut off your hair.

He hummed. Bastard.

"Very well. Next question."

He sized you up calmly.

"Why did you want to get away from your family?"

You closed your eyes. "Well, they...Well, they..."

"That doesn't count. Disqualified."

Uh-oh.

"You never explicitly specified I had to answer straight-up." You said quietly.

Very slowly he inched forward until his forehead nearly touched yours.

"Are you talking back to me?"

"No." You breathed out.

"Good." He smirked. "I punch your gut or I cut off your hair. Choose."

You had a very bad feeling, like you knew what this game was leading to. The nausea that took hold of you felt suffocating.

"Punch." You croaked out.

No one had ever punched you before. And you had a feeling today would bring many more firsts.

"Hold up your hands."

Reluctantly you obeyed. He looked into your eyes, looking for any sign of disobedience. But all he found was fear.

He tsked disapprovingly.

"Anyone with brains would have chosen the hair." He said lowly. "But you're a pretty girl. I like your long hair." He slowly treaded his fingertips through the length of your hair. "So, you better do us both a favor and answer in time from now on."

With that you felt a sharp blow of pain when his fist shot forward and punched you right in the stomach. He wasn't gentle about it.

You doubled over and nearly fell off the chair. At the same time you let out a desperate sob and gasped for air.

The only thing you could suddenly think about was your slow kidney. Oh God, what if he damaged the good one?

You tried to push these thoughts away as good as you could. It wasn't easy.

You looked up at him with tears in your eyes. And he stared right back with something that looked almost like...pride.

"Why did you want to get away from your family?"

"Because my mother abused me." You gritted out.

Surprise flashed over his features. "How?"

"She starved me, didn't let me pee, hit me everywhere no one could see the scars, locked me in my room for days, yelled at me and many more things, many many more. Dark and twisted things, things you're never supposed to do to someone you supposedly care about. I bet you and her would have gotten along splendid." You couldn't tell who was more surprised about your sudden, angry outburst - you or him. He just stared at you and you half expected him to knock your teeth out.

Instead he slowly reached for the spoon and fed you two spoons rice with vegetables.

"Good girl." He said with no hint of teasing.

You savored the food in your mouth and swallowed slowly, ignoring his words. Mostly. But a part of you was almost relieved that he took so well to your anger.

"Have you ever had a boyfriend?"

"No."

"Why?"

"Because I'm scared of intimacy."

"Do you regret it?"

"Yes."

"Good girl."

Three spoonfuls, as promised.

"When was the last time you touched yourself?"

Your face flushed instantly, but you forced yourself to answer.

"The day before we met."

One spoon.

"What were you thinking about?"

You felt yourself go pale.

"What?"

He sighed disapprovingly.

"When you touched yourself. What did you think about?" He asked impatiently.

And you were silent. For three seconds. Five. And finally ten.

He stared at you with an intensity that was terrifying.

"Play the rest of the game on your knees or I cut off your hair."

Your cheeks grew warm in shame. But immediately, you slid down to your knees infront of him. The floor was cold, but that was the smallest one of your concerns. You couldn't meet his gaze as you knelt there.

Slowly and almost tenderly he reached down and tilted your chin up. The intensity in his eyes was overwhelming. You couldn't quite detect or name the look in his eyes. All you knew was that it was intense and that it made your cheeks grow even warmer.

"Good girl." He whispered. "I'll ask you again."

At least he warned you.

"What were you thinking about while you touched yourself?"

"I fantasized."

"Specify."

You tried to avert your gaze but his grip on your chin was too tight. The expression in your eyes was pleading. But he didn't care. He didn't care one bit.

Suddenly you realized something. He didn't seem to care about the rules or the game any longer. He just wanted to know.

"I had..." Your eyes fluttered shut and your voice slipped into a barely audible whisper. "I had rough fantasies."

"Specify."

"Of being used." You finally choked out. The words felt like acid in your mouth. Never before had you told anyone about this, except for the one time when you spoke to your psychiatrist.

You had sobbed and nearly choked on your tears, claiming that you were twisted, odd, fucked in the head.

But all he had said in response was; many women have those fantasies. You're not twisted. You simply have desires which go ahead of the ordinary.

By the time you blinked your eyes open, you realized that he wasn't recoiling in disgust. He wasn't laughing at you. He didn't even flinch. He simply seemed curious.

"What else?"

"What...what else?"

"What else do you fantasize about that you consider shameful? Are your fantasies rough? Are they painful? Are they degrading? Are they-" He cut himself off and finally leaned back.

"You did good. Really good." He reached out and played with a strand of your hair. "You got lucky." He murmured. After a long sigh, he got up and said: "Eat up. But slowly. I can't have you puking all over yourself. I have plans for you."

You didn't need to be told twice. In a ridiculous speed you were back at the table and savored the food in your mouth, appreciating every bite.

He turned to leave the room, but stopped in the doorway and looked at you with a small frown.

"You got really lucky." He murmured to himself as he glanced at your form again.

"As did I."

[skipper19]

Imagine this..

Gojo absolutely loves the look of his pregnant wife wobbling around the home. He loves it a lot more than he thought he would. Gojo takes so many pictures of you. From the day of the big news, all the way to today.

"Satoru sto-Op!" You squeaked and giggled as you spoke. "I am allowed to dote on my pregnant wife, thank you very much." His low voice spoke very smugly into your ear. Despite your outward complaints, you still looked to the phone sitting on the kitchen counter and smiled. You blinked when the flash went off, and you rubbed your eyes.

"You take too many pictures of me.." You grumble. "Especially when I look like shit." You pouted and rested your hand on your swollen stomach. Gojo gasped and put a hand to his chest. "Shit? You're the most gorgeous woman I have ever met," He leans now and cups your jaw in his hands. "Especially in the mornings." He whispered softly before kissing you. You smiled into the kiss and felt your shoulders relax.

"Mm..if I wasn't already pregnant, I would drag you to bed until I am.." You mumbled happily against his lips. Gojo snickers and rolls his ocean eyes. "Keep talking like that, and I will drag you back to bed, despite already being pregnant." He smirked with lidded eyes. "Even if I'm 5 months pregnant?" You whispered. "Especially when you're 5 months pregnant." He pulled you into a passionate kiss after the words left his lips.

You both didn't leave the bed again until 6 pm.

-----------------------------------------------------♤

Gojo hurriedly washed his hands and ignored grabbing paper towels as he left, deciding to wipe his wet hands off on his pants instead. He was in too much of a rush to care anyway. His pregnant wife was all by her lonesome in the grocery store as he dealt with his bladder problem. He hated to leave you alone. He hated leaving you alone around other people even more.

Gojo sensed your cursed energy in the nearest aisle and quickly returned by your side. He smiled when he spotted you looking at the baby shoes that were huddled in a small pile on the corner of the shelf. Gojos eyes glanced to the clearance sign above the shelf and playfully rolled his eyes. "Didn't I say I wanted our baby girl to have the best quality clothes? Why are we in the clearance section?" He playfully scolded as he leaned his shoulder against the shelf with the shoes.

"Well, I remember saying that it doesn't have to be expensive, as long as it looks adorable on our baby boy." You retorted with a sly smile. Gojo huffed and shook his head. "Our baby girl has the best, strongest, and wealthiest father in all of Japan. I think she deserves to be spoiled." He crossed his arms, making you glance at the faint sight of his veins popping out. Amusement laced his eyes behind the dark shades adorning his handsome face.

"And I think our baby boy will care nothing about being spoiled, as long as it's comfortable." You shot back and quickly looked back down to the pair of shoes in your hand. Gojo felt his heart leap when you placed the boy shoes in the shopping cart before reaching back onto the shelf and grabbing a feminine pair of shoes as well. Gojo pushed himself from the shelf and walked behind you to wrap his arms around your growing belly.

"You are going to be an amazing mother." He whispered softly into your ear. Heat rose to your cheeks, and you smiled bashfully. "You think so?" You placed your hands onto his. "I really do."

-----------------------------------------------------♤

It didn't take long for Gojo to realize you weren't in bed with him any longer. He was normally hyper aware when you would leave the warmth of his arms at night, but he had been even more of a light sleeper after you hit your 7 month mark.

Gojo didn't want to think of what he would do if something had happened to you.

He threw the covers off of himself before leaving the inviting warmth of the sheets. He quickly makes his way to the kitchen, only to find you quietly sitting at the marble island in the center of the room. You were minding your business as you nibbled away at your odd snack, a soft tune playing from the radio nearby. Gojo always insisted on buying speakers. That way, he could blast music from the TV, but you denied him every time. You always said that the radio was much better.

Gojo sighed and quietly walked up to you, his eyes grazing over your plump form. He couldn't help but smirk. You just looked so lovely as you sat there, munching away on your food, his shirt barely covering your body. Gojo was head over heels in love with you, that was obvious.

"Sneaking away from me just to get you a snack? How rude." Gojo softly said as he pouted. You jumped as his arms snaked around your body. You swatted at his muscular arms and shot him a glare over your shoulder. "Dont sneak up on a pregnant lady! You nearly made me drop my pickles.." You mumbled. Despite your annoyance, your body still leaned back to relax against his warm chest.

Gojo glanced at the food in your hands and resisted the urge to shiver. Pickles and marshmallows. "Mm, I wouldn't want to have to throw that snack away.." You rolled your eyes at his sarcasm and plopped the pickle and mini marshmallow in your mouth. "Shuddup."

-----------------------------------------------------♤

"You're doing so good, baby, just a few more pushes." Gojo encouraged you with soft spoken words and swift fingers caressing your hair. You wanted to yell at him to just shut up, but the pain you were feeling inhibited anything other than pained sounds.

Gojo hated seeing you in so much pain. Especially when he couldn't do anything to quell it. "Just one more push." The doctor said. If it weren't for the situation, Gojo knew better than anyone how embarrassed you would be right now. He leaned down closer to your ear. "One more push, sweetheart, and then we can meet our beautiful baby." He whispered softly. You gripped his hand tighter, thankful that his infinity was lowered, his touch grounded you. It kept you sane on a normal day, and you needed him more than ever right now.

"I can't.. I can't!" Your voice was hoarse and weak as you sobbed aloud. Gojo shook his head and kissed your temple, his lips resting against your skin as he spoke. "Yes, you can. I know you can. You're strong, the strongest woman I have ever met, I know you can do this." His words replayed like a symphony. You can do this. You are strong. You can do this. For your baby.

One final push, followed by a shout of pain, led to the cries of your baby echoing in the room. Gojo smiled and gulped down his nerves as he watched the nurses take away his baby to be cleaned.

You weren't in the same condition.

Your ears rang as your head pounded. You know your baby was finally delivered, so why couldn't you hear them? Your glazed eyes panicked to search the room for your child. "Sa-satoru?" Your voice weakly called out. His ocean blue eyes cast down to your face to see the concern and tears. His hand moved from your hair to your face as he wiped away your tears and tilted your gaze to meet his.

"I can't hear them crying. Are they okay?" You hiccuped. Gojos eyebrows furrowed slightly, yet he kept a warm smile on his face. "They are fine, don't worry." He reassured and kissed your sweaty forehead. His eyes glanced to the doctor, only to see a reassuring smile sent back his way. "It's normal for the mother to be disoriented after giving birth. It's a lot of strain on her body." The doctor said quietly.

Gojo sighed and briefly closed his eyes as his lips lingered against your forhead. His attention was directed to the nurse as she walked back with a small bundle in her arms. "Mrs. Gojo," the nurse called softly. Your eyes fell to her, then the bundle of life in her arms. A wobbly smile formed on your lips as you weakly reached out your arms for your baby. The moment the baby was rested against your chest, tears fell from your eyes like a waterfall.

Gojo couldn't help but tear up.

"It's a boy." The nurse spoke up. You tearfully giggled and gently ran your finger over your baby's cheek. "My baby boy.." You mumbled, a soft kiss landing on his head.

After a few moments of skin to skin contact and appreciation, you looked to Gojo. He didn't need you to say a word. He eagerly held his arms out for you to gently place his baby boy in his warm hold. On instinct, the man handled his son with nothing but gentle touch. You just knew he was going to be an amazing father. "God, look at you.. beautiful, just like your mama.." He cooed. You rested your hand on his arm. "Handsome, just like his daddy." You whispered with droopy eyes. He shakily sighed.

This is his family.

-----------------------------------------------------♤

"Thank you.. Thank you so much." Gojo mumbled into your ear. Your mind, despite being fogged, was able to register his words. "F-for what?" You gasped, your nails drawing blood from his pale skin. "For giving me a family." His words reverberated in your spine, causing your ears to tingle and your eyes to close in pleasure.

"I want to be selfish.." He spoke again. His movement picked up speed, quickly sucking the words from your throat. "I want one more. Give me one more -please baby, just one more.." But Gojo has always been a greedy man. One was never enough, and you knew this all too well.. "Please~" He begged, almost pathetically. You moaned aloud and grasped his face in your hands, pulling his lips to your own from where they once were on your neck.

"Give me it, Satoru.. give it to me."

[cameronspecial]

Let Me Protect You, Angel

Pairing: Frat!Rafe Cameron x Reader

Warnings:  Mentions of Death

Pronouns: She/Her

Word Count: 0.7K

Summary: Rafe's only mission in life is to protect his girlfriend.

Masterlist

Rafe has a few rules when it comes to being his girlfriend and he always gets upset at Y/N when she doesn’t use them. One of those rules: be careful with your beverages. The multiple drinks Y/N has drank over the night have built up in her bladder, so nature is now calling to her. The only problem is she doesn’t know where to leave her drink. Luckily, she spots Rafe’s tall figure in the crowd. She pushes her way to him and taps his shoulder. “Hey, Angel. What’s wrong? Are you ready to go?” he worries, checking her over for any wounds. She shakes her head and holds her drink out to him, “Nothing is wrong, I just need to pee. Can you please hold my drink?” 

The glassy look in his eye gets blinked away as he grabs onto her drink. His long fingers round the top of the cup, so his palm is covering the opening of the drink. “Of course I can. I would be more than happy too. Let me walk you to the bathroom and check to make sure no one is hiding out in there,” he offers, wrapping his arm around her shoulder and taking her to the bathroom line. Nobody would’ve guessed that Rafe is so protective of his girlfriend. It makes Y/N giggle at how cute he gets when he takes her safety seriously. 

——

Another one of Rafe’s rules: always tell him when she is cold. The winter breeze snips at her nose and she wrinkles her nose to try and heat it up. This action doesn’t go unnoticed by Rafe. He gives her a disapproving look, “Rule number four, Angel.” She doesn’t need him to say anything more because she already has the rules memorized. “Rafe, I’m cold. Could you please give me your jacket?” she grovels. He grins at her words and takes it off immediately. He hands it over to her, “Absolutely, it’s what I am here for. Are you okay with staying in line by yourself for a second? I’m going to get my extra jacket in the car.” It really doesn’t surprise her that he keeps an extra jacket for moments like this. “Thank you for the jacket. And I’m okay with waiting. Why didn’t you just give me the extra one though?” she questions, fiddling with the bottom of his jacket. 

He gives her a kiss, “Because I always wear a jacket that matches your outfit when we go out just in case I need to give it to you. The one in my car is merely a random one.” Her heart flutters at the thought he puts into everything he does for her. 

——

The rules that Y/N likes to contest are the one that also regards his safety. They exit the bookstore side by side with bags of books in hand. As they walk down the sidewalk to the parking garage, she moves herself to the opposite side of Rafe. Before she can process it, she is back on the other side of Rafe again. They go through this charade again. “Why can’t I be the one that protects you from getting hit by a car?” she pouts, trying to get back on the side closest to the road. He tuts her head and moves her back, “Because I am your boyfriend and it is my job”

“Well, why can’t it be my job to protect you as your girlfriend?” 

He shakes his head at her words, “Let me protect you, Angel. If something happened to me, you would be able to live on without me. If something happened to you, they would have to dig another grave beside yours.” This makes Y/N stop in her tracks to look him in the eyes. The tears brimming at the thought of her death break her heart. “Rafe, I would not be able to live without you either. You are so important to me too. But if protecting me makes you feel better, then I’ll stop bugging you about it. At least for now,” she promises, pulling him into a hug. His head buries into her neck, “Thank you, Angel. I’m glad you finally realized that I was made to protect you.”  

[crybaby-bkg]

tw: piss, public stuff, alcohol, drunk reader

Shidou is a freak.

it’s nothing new to you, something you’d known basically since the moment you met him. but you at least thought that there would be…limits. certain things that even he didn’t care for. but you couldn’t have been more wrong.

there was a party going in one of his teammates hotel rooms, in some foreign country that you’re too drunk to remember the name of. and that’s the problem right there—you’re drunk off your ass, unusual for when you’re with Shidou. you don’t need liquor to have a good time with him, but the celebration of tonight damn near demanded it. so you drank and you drank, downing one shot after the other.

he pulls you into his lap at one point in the night, cupping your jaw as he tilts something white and strong against your pouting lips. he presses his mouth to your ear, his voice low under the other partygoers cheers and the thumping music they’ll surely get a complaint for in the morning.

“what?” Shidou purrs against your ear, licking softly at the shell of it, shameless. “you tapping out for the night on me?”

“no,” you drawl out in a whine, shifting in his lap, trying to bury your face into his warm neck. “I just gotta pee. drinking this much always makes my bladder feel fuller than it really is.”

“so go, then.” Shidou says surely, his voice steady. he sets down the glass, brings one hand to tighten around your waist, the other to start rubbing soothing circles on your lower belly. or, they would be more soothing, if he didn’t ever so slightly press the heel of his palm a little harder with every passing circle. you try to pull away from his grip, but he holds you tighter, nudging your chin up so he can kiss softly at the column of your neck.

“but you won’t let me get up, Shidou.” you hum quietly, shifting in his lap as he presses harder against your bladder. Shidou grins against your skin, pinching the flesh there between sharp canines to hear your hiss, to feel your hole clench against his lap, his hardening cock.

“I never said I was gonna let you up.” he chuckles, hips thrusting up ever so slightly, his bulge pressing right where you need him most. “just said to go ahead and relieve yourself.”

“but, there are people here? what if they see?” you whisper, despite the fact that you can barely hear yourself over the music and the other attendants of the party. Shidou shrugs, pressing more and more, his teeth feeling sharper, his tongue feelings wetter, his kisses feeling hotter against the thin flesh of your throat.

“you’re wearing all black anyway, and so am I. who’s gonna notice?”

Sae, you think to yourself, eyes flitting over to where the teal eyed man watches you with a seemingly knowing gaze. you swallow thickly and avert your eyes, shifting once more, feeling a trickle slide out of you without your control. you whimper, thighs tightening, but Shidou only rubs encouragingly against your thigh, shushing you with a too wide grin against your warm cheek as he kisses his way up.

“it’s okay, baby. go ahead and piss yourself in my lap. make a mess for me, yeah?” Shidou goads, forgoing the rubbing of your belly, insistently pressing on your bladder now, shameless. the only sound that leaves you is a pathetic whimper, your eyes squeezing shut as you can’t fight back anymore, and release yourself with a shudder.

you soak through your panties, the seat of your bottoms, all the way to Shidou’s throbbing cock. he’s not sure if the mess in his boxers is from how much he’s leaking precum, or your piss, but it makes his cock twitch, either way. he placates your whining with little kisses against your pouting lips, rubbing his thumb against your navel as you let yourself go all over him.

and when he pulls you up, you’re both dripping ever so slightly. nobody notices really, only sending you pitying looks when Shidou says he has to take you to his room because you’re not feeling so well. but you catch the way Sae looks from the spot where you two sat, and back to you, his gaze locked on your own and knowing. in your drunken haze, you almost think he smirks at you.

[innerempire]

(Warnings: Discussions of pissing, piss kink, Tony pissing, somewhat-under-negotiation of said kink)

Tony’s bladder is on the verge of fucking bursting, but relieving himself had been the last thing on his mind after coming home to the sight of Peter hunched over his Statistical Mathematics textbook. Kid’s wearing one of those sleep shorts with the white frills at the hem and the word princess threaded at the back, a gag gift from Sam last Christmas because he had overheard Tony’s affectionate nickname for the boy.

The simplicity of it arouses Tony and he manages to wrangle the textbook away from a sleepy-eyed Peter. He finds it ridiculous sometimes because it’s been two years past the honeymoon phase, but a languid “hello, baby” kiss is enough to spark arousal. Okay, priorities: piss first, give Peter a thoroughly good fuck, and then dinner. And more sex until Tony starts feeling like someone has rubbed sandpaper against his dick.

But Peter’s grabbing at Tony’s belt before he can move away and everything moves far too quickly because Peter’s slicking him up with lube from Tony’s secret (apparently not-so-secret if the kid can find it).

“Statistical Mathematics gets you hot and bothered, kid? I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Ease up there.” Tony presses Peter up against the island counter, gently kissing his nape.

“It’s fine. I already acquainted myself with that, uh…ginormous toy you got for me.” That’s enough to erase any other thoughts from Tony’s mind.

“Yeah?” He kisses that particular spot behind Peter’s ear that gets him all squirmy. “I clearly remember telling you to wait for me. Bad Petey.”

“Tony. I’m a hot-blooded 20 year old who’s finally home with his-“ Tony rests a hand on Peter’s hip when the boy reaches around to guide his cock in, the urge to urinate slamming back full force when the tip pops past the tight ring of muscles. “God, yes. So much better than the toy.” The boy sighs with absolutely delight, blissfully unaware of the torment he was putting his partner through.

That’s a massive stroke to Tony’s ego, but fuck, he can gloat later.

“Peter, I’d say I’m the luckiest man alive right now to have your gorgeous ass wrapped around my cock, but you gotta give me a minute and let me use the bathroon, baby. I’ve had nothing but water and wine today, and I can assure you I’m a minute away from an accident happening.”

He’s not sure if he’s so desperate to relive himself that he’s hallucinating Peter clenching around his cock, or if it’s because the boy is actually aroused by the idea of Tony needing to pee so badly. Tony grunts when Peter teasingly shimmies his hips backwards until he’s got the entirety of the older male’s thick girth all the way to the hilt.

“Peter.” Tony grits his teeth and internally, there’s warnning bells and flashing lights repeatedly warning him that his bladder is beyond full.

“…you can…you know-“ Peter stutters breathily, head hanging low as he rests his arms against the edge of the counter. “Do it in me.”

“What?”

Great, now he’s hearing things.

“I’m saying you can piss in me.” Peter repeats with more confidence this time round.

It’s always been on the table that it’s something they’d explore together, but it never really took priority since there were other, well, mutual interests that they dove into first.

“…Tony? No offense, but you can’t be having hearing problems at this very second.” Peter does that nervous laughter thing, even though he’s been assured one too many times that, “hey, we don’t kink shame in this tower.”

Tony really, really can’t hold it in anymore and he’s gritting his teeth so hard that his jaw’s starting to ache.

“Oh fuck.” Tony experiences a full-body shudder as the urge completely overtakes him, fingers grasping helplessly at Peter’s hips.

“Yes, come on, Tony. Use me.” Peter tips his head back, eyes glasst when he feels the first hot spurt of urine.

Tony has experienced his fair share of orgams that’s on the tier of mindblowing. Literally orgams so fucking fantastic that he once strained a muscle and had to bed on rest for a couple of days (Peter never lets him live it down).

But the sheer relief of being able to empty his impossibly full bladder, coupled by the hot silky tightness of Peter’s ass clenching around his cock, as if milking him……..Tony might actually believe in the whole concept of singing angels and Heaven at this very moment.

“Oh god, this is the hottest thing ever.” Peter’s closing his fingers around his own cock, tugging at it with jerky strokes, toes curling against the floor when whatever Tony’s spilling into him begins to trickle down the insides of his thighs. “Like, way hotter than that time when you fucked me in the backseat of your car during last year’s Stark Expo.”

“I’ll add this achievement to my list.”

[cinnamon-won]

Focus On Me | Choi Soobin

MDNI

Words: 2.7k

Description: You tried to warn him, but Soobin was determined to make the most of their time at the pool and didn't want to face the embarrassment of peeing in the pool. You should be annoyed that he didn't listen but it wouldn't be a vacation without a little fun...

Pairing: sub!soobin x fem!reader

Warnings: established relationship, bladder control, omorashi, humiliation, shy soobin, slight exhibitionism, teasing, reader is a little mean +lmk if there’s more

Masterlist

⊱•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱

The sound of splashing water and laughter echoed through your ears as you lay on the deck chair, your sunglasses shielding your eyes from the burning sun. Your brother and his friends played in the water whilst you soaked in the sun rays/ However, your peace was quickly interrupted by a pair of hands picking you up from your spot. You screamed, pulling the glasses down a little to peer over them and see who it was.

"Choi Yeonjun put me down!" You yelled, smacking your brother's shoulder repeatedly.

"Gladly," he replied with a mischievous grin, dropping you into the pool with a loud splash.

You pushed yourself up to the surface, gasping for air. "I'm going to kill you!"

In response, Yeonjun stuck his tongue out at you and dived into the water beside you, completely soaking you again. You groaned, wiping the water out of your eyes and pulling your hair back.

"You can't blame me," Yeonjun said putting his hands up in defence. "Your boyfriend would not stop complaining about the fact that he was stuck with us and not you."

You looked around, suddenly feeling familiar hands around your waist.

"Here," Soobin said, passing you the sunglasses that he fished out of the pool. You thanked him with a smile, glaring at Yeonjun again almost immediately.

Yeonjun laughed, swimming away to join his other friends, leaving you alone with Soobin. You smiled, turning to face him and wrapping your arms around his neck in a close embrace.

"Did you miss me?" You giggled at the ticklish feeling of his large hands travelling over your body under the water.

"Of course I did," He said, resting his face into the crook of your neck, smelling the scent of your sun lotion before it got washed away by the chlorine water. You pulled him to the edge of the pool, his back hitting the wall as you gave him a small peck.

From that moment, you spent the rest of the day with Soobin. The two of you enjoyed the pool service, one drink after the other alongside secret kisses when Yeonjun wasn't looking. The glasses piled up on the edge of the pool, and you were ready to ask for another until Soobin stopped you.

"I think that's enough," he mumbled, not usually being the one to make the decisions.

You looked at him in surprise. "Is everything ok?" You asked.

He nodded. "We've had a lot, maybe we should give the servers a break."

Soobin cringed at his words, as the real reason bubbled under the surface. Soobin had already had several drinks with the boys before he started hanging out with you and it seemed like his bladder had finally caught up with him. He didn't want an accident so he had to stop drinking. The excuse was lame, but you believed it instantly having worked in hospitality yourself and Soobin was very grateful.

However, it didn't last very long. The summer day was hot and long so shortly after, you ordered 2 more drinks; one for yourself and one for Soobin. Reluctantly, he took the drink from the tray, saying 'cheers' with you again.

Within a few sips, Soobin felt the sudden urge to pee. He quickly set the drink down on the side of the pool. His actions made you look at him curiously and it wasn't long before you figured out the problem. Soobin was very obvious with these things; he's always had a hard time controlling his bladder, so you've already picked up on the cues that told you when he needed to go.

In this case, his hand snaked down to his trunks suddenly, in an attempt not to pee in the pool.

"Binnie, you need to go?" you asked.

"H-How did you know?" He asked, his ears turning a light shade of pink.

"Come, let's go-"

"No, I can hold it!" Soobin exclaimed, his stubbornness making you shake your head.

"Babe you're going to regret that," you tried to reason, but Soobin was adamant.

"Hey lovebirds!" the two of you turned to see Beomgyu aiming a volleyball at you.

As soon as he got your attention, he launched the ball in your direction, startling Soobin. You managed to react in time and caught the ball, glancing at Soobin and noticing the veins in his neck as he tried not to release.

"What was that for?" You yelled at Beomgyu.

"Come and play volleyball with us!" Beomgyu said. "You can't spend the entire time together y'know."

You turned to Soobin, who barely heard what Beomgyu said. "You ok to play?"

Soobin gulped and nodded, taking the ball out of your grasp with shaky hands. "Let's go."

The teams were split, three against three. You were grouped with your brother and boyfriend and Beomgyu, Taehyun and Kai took the other team. The match moved smoothly, and Soobin was thankful for the distraction.

But just like you predicted, Soobin was about to regret holding.

An extremely hard serve from Taehyun had the ball speeding at Soobin and before he knew it, he was fully submerged in the water. The other team cheered since they had gained a point and Yeonjun complained about how they were cheating. Amidst the arguing, you quickly went to check on Soobin.

He coughed out the water, eyes burning from the chlorine. "I don't know how much longer I can hold it for."

"I told you we should have gone to the bathroom," you said with a sigh. "It's ok, just go in the pool. No one will know."

"They will know! Don't you remember the last time when Hyuka accidentally peed in the pool? They made fun of him for months! I am not going to let that happen to me."

"Ok well if we don't go now, You will end up doing it here anyway."

"But i don't-"

"I've got you, don't worry."

Before Soobin could ask what you meant by that, he felt your hands travel inside his trunks applying pressure to the tip of his cock. The action made Soobin gasp as his body reacted before his mind could comprehend what was happening. His hands grabbed your waist harshly pulling you close so that he could hide his face in your neck.

"You just need to take your mind off of your bladder. And don't even look at the water, just focus on me," you whispered.

Soobin tried not to listen to the sound of the splashing water, opting to hone in on the sound of your heartbeat and breathing. He tried to imagine the water wasn't there, as though it was just the two of you in a warm and dry bed.

Gently you let go of his penis and trailed your fingers back up his body, spending a couple of seconds at his nipples before moving around the back of his head. You grasped the wet tufts of hair by his neck and gave it a soft pull. Soobin whimpered, his ears turning red from embarrassment.

"Should we head back to my room?" You mumbled in his ear, pulling his head back by his hair so that you could see his face. He nodded and you smiled. "Do you think you can make it?"

Before he could answer, the two of you were splashed by a wave of water. Someone had thrown the ball at the water beside you causing a huge splash.

"Are you two about to have sex in the pool?" Taehyun asked, erupting a wave of rowdy comments.

"Seriously, I said you two could date but you don't need to do it in front of me!" Yeonjun exclaimed, pretending to shield his eyes in disgust.

"Shut up Yeonjun!" You yelled back, launching the ball at him.

You turned to Soobin, whose embarassment was evident from the rosy blush on his cheeks. "Should we go?" you asked him quietly.

Taking his hand, you pushed yourself through the pool, half swimming, half walking as you pulled Soobin along with you. You ignored the comments made by Soobin's friends as you hoisted yourself up onto the edge of the pool and waited for Soobin to do the same.

"I-I don't think..." You instantly knew what he meant. He didn't have the strength to pull himself up because all of his muscles were at work.

"You can, remember - focus on me," you said, leaning close to Soobin. His eyes darted to your cleavage, the skimpy bathing suit doing barely anything to cover you up.

With the little strength he had, he managed to pull himself up and out of the pool. You instantly pressed your body against his, kissing his shoulder as a well done.

"My room?" you asked with a tilt of your head.

"What are you planning?" He asked as he watched you bend over to pick up your towels.

You toss one to him with a wide smile. "That maybe we could skip dinner and get straight into dessert."

"Y/n!" Soobin hissed, looking around in hopes that no one heard.

"Come on Soob," You grab his hand again, and pull him along into the hotel that you guys were staying at.

You pressed the elevator button and waited. Just when Soobin thought he was going to make it, the urge to pee hit him like a truck. He pressed his thighs together and whimpered, immediately catching your attention.

Fresh tears welled up, his voice trembling. "I d-don't think I'll m-make it."

The ding of the elevator diverted your attention for a split second. Then you looked at Soobin again. "Look there's no one in there."

"I can't m-move..."

"Soobin." You said sternly. "You can stand here and wet yourself in the middle of the lobby in front of everyone or you can follow me."

Your harsh tone made Soobin's pain worse as he felt himself getting hard at the thought. This of course didn't go unnoticed by you.

You scoffed. "This is what you wanted, isn't it? I was playing nice, trying to be helpful and understanding but what you really want is someone to point out that you're about to wet yourself in front of all these people."

"Not so loud!" Soobin whined, fearful that someone close by might have heard.

"Now you're embarrassed?" You asked. "Why? because everyone can see your boner? Or because they can see you squirming and making it obvious that a grown man can't control his bladder?"

You put a hand out to stop the elevator door from closing. Then you grabbed Soobin's wrist and dragged him inside, the action making him whine. You glanced down and saw a wet trail following Soobin.

"Did you just-"

"I'm sorry! I couldn't hold it, but it's only a little! I promise I'm trying!" Soobin cried, between sniffles.

"It's ok, it's just the two of us here," you said, feeling a little bad for being so harsh when you saw his teary eyes.

You sighed and pressed the button for your floor, but before the door could close someone put their foot in the doorway. You glanced up to see Beomgyu giving you guys a wide smile.

"How are you guys still here?" He asked, surprised.

"Issue with the elevator," you promptly answered, taking Soobin's hand and giving it a reassuring squeeze.

"You two should have really dried up properly, the hotel staff probably won't be thrilled about cleaning up," He said, gesturing to the puddles of 'water'.

You felt Soobin's grasp on your hand tighten at those words. Glancing up at Soobin, you almost laughed at how painfully obvious he was. His face and neck were flushed, his head bowed and the wet strands of hair grazed his teary eyes.

Soobin felt mortified that Beomgyu could catch on any second. But he couldn't stop the growing erection to the point where he couldn't tell if he needed to pee or come. The elevator journey to the 9th floor felt painfully long. He barely listened to what you and Beomgyu were chatting about, counting numbers in his head to distract himself.

The second he heard the ding of the elevator, Soobin dragged you out, making you yelp in surprise.

"Woah calm down bro," Beomgyu said, following the two of you out.

"We'll see you later," Soobin said simply, pulling you in the direction of your room, which was a couple of doors away from the other guys.

"Go easy on her, you don't want Yeonjun to beat your ass-"

Soobin hardly heard what Beomgyu said, trying to take your advice from earlier and solely focus on you to distract himself.

"Your key... where is your key?" He said between gasps, as he tried to stand up straight.

"Give me a second-"

"I don't think I'll last that long..." He mumbled, thighs pressed together in an embarrassing stance whilst you searched for your keycard. The urge to pee was growing and Soobin's strength was depleting. "Y/n please hurry- oh no..."

Those two words caught your attention, making you look up from your bag. Soobin was on his knees, hands cupping his crotch. Tears were streaming down his cheeks, his shoulders shaking as he held back sobs.

You finally found the keycard and tapped it on the lock. The light turned green and you pushed open the door.

"Come on, just a few more steps Binnie," you said encouragingly, putting out your palm.

With shaky legs, Soobin got up on his own two feet again and stumbled into your room. You closed the door and led him to the bathroom. Soobin was about to make a beeline for the toilet, but you pushed him into the shower

"Why-"

"Let's be honest Soob... you were never going to get those trunks off in time and I don't have the energy to clean up that mess."

"But-"

You silenced Soobin with a few kisses, closing the gap between your bodies. Soobin squirmed under your touch, having almost no strength left. Keeping your lips attached to his nipple, you pulled his trunks down making Soobin throw his head back against the tiled walls in relief. In one swift movement, you pulled yourself away from him. Soobin gave you a quizzical glance but that face quickly contorted into one of surprise when you pressed your fingers against his lower abdomen.

Since he wasn't expecting this, Soobin couldn't control the stream of piss. All he could do was moan as he watched himself make a mess of your shower and thighs. When it looked like he was done, you finally spoke.

"Are you happy now?" You asked, your tone changing again from kind to mean. "You barely had any composure! Be thankful no one else was around! Did you think you were big and strong when you decided to hold it? You sure as hell don't look big and strong right now baby." "

"T-That wasn't meant to happen," Soobin mumbled, not having the courage to make eye contact with you. With his bladder fully empty, his boner was evident and your harsh words made him more desperate.

"I warned you, didn't I?"

"I should have listened."

"And I should just leave you here to deal with this by yourself," you said, brushing the tip of his cock with your thumb, causing him to hiss. 

"A-Are you serious?" He asked softly, too scared to even ask.

"Well, you don't really deserve special treatment... you embarrassed yourself, didn't you? And you even had the nerve to piss on me," you said, gesturing to your damp legs. Soobin's eyes darted over the mess he made and then back at his feet in shame.

"But I suppose... I could let it slide... just this once," Soobin's eyes lit up, but he said nothing, not wanting to say anything that might change your mind.

You roughly take his cock into your hands, the sudden action causing Soobin to moan loudly. You gave it a couple of strokes, taking the precum from the tip and running your fingers all the way down to the base. Soobin's thighs shook from pleasure and he made no effort to conceal his whimpers and moans.

All of a sudden, you hear fierce knocking on the door followed by Yeonjun's voice. This made Soobin panic, but you remained unphased. You continued your movements whilst Soobin tried to contain the lustful sounds with his palm.

You crouched down so that your face was level with his cock, looking up to see his expression. You smirked, knowing that Soobin was panicking because Yeonjun was still banging his fist against the door and Soobin could barely conceal the sounds he was making.

"Forget about him baby boy...

"... just focus on me." 

⊱•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱

Note:

I really wanted to get this out for your birthday but I had an exam that day!! (it didn't go very well) BUT HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAYYY anon 💗💗 Hope you liked this!!

It also took a while because when I finally started, I had many ideas and it got too long so I had to cut off a huge chunk of it... but I can totally see a part two for this (maybe I'll write it after the other requests if anyone is interested).

[possiblystancest]

eyes dart around nervously… how do we feel about diapers… i love ford humiliation and wearing diapers is pretty fucking humiliating LMAO

8ftd8txtitx8 I feel like you know my main bc/ my brain is always diaper brained xD

Because like TECHNICALLY, it's canon that Stan has adult diapers in the pilot

Maybe they were part of some scam to get some extra cash from the government. But when that ultimately went nowhere, he just tucked the package away alongside all his other hair brained schemes. Forgotten as the summer went on.

But, now summer is over, and Stan finds himself reunited with Ford- and a sliiiight issue.

See, Ford had been floating around in the nightmare dimension and other dimensions where their gravity was not the same as this world. Aka, our beloved nerd has some muscle weaknesses ala the bladder

He's pissing himself, not always total accidents, but Ford is finding himself having close calls, underwear dampened from small leaks that had been his unceremonious and only telling of his need to go.

Ofc Ford attempts to hide this problem. Like hell he's telling Stan about this - it's something that'll go away on its own,,,hopefully (it has been 30 years of prolonged exposure to atrophy due to space living and for once, Ford doesn't feel like being an experiment)

*claps hands together* so! One day, Ford is rummaging through a closet to look for any extra wires or something he needs for a project. As he's rummaging, his hand lands on something that *crinkles*. Ford slides w/e fabric was over the item, and there he finds himself staring at a package of adult diapers.

Why would Stanley have these?? Is Ford's first thought. His second thought is how has the diaper industry improved since the early 80s?

Those thoughts are paused when Ford hears Stan returning home. It's a hasty action, but Ford nabs the package and stores it away in his trenchcoat- very quickly going back to his room before Stan can spot him.

It's only later on in the evening that Ford finds himself examining the package. He looks around before carefully tearing into the packaging.

His thumb rubbing the cloth-like material of the diaper. Even alone, Ford's face is heating up as he kicks his pants and underwear to the side- opening the diaper up and standing there for a moment,,,they really should put instructions on these things.

"You're putting them on backwards, Pointdexter."

Ford jumps, head snapping back to see Stan nonchalantly leaning on the door frame.

"S-Stanley, how,,how long have you've been standing there?"

Stan shrugs, "Long enough to tell you're God awful at this," he says as he walks over to his brother.

"Well, pardon me for not having done such a task, ever," Ford mumbles. His body tensing for a moment as Stan takes the diaper from his hands.

"Lay down."

"Excuse me?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, do you want to do this yourself and leak piss all over yourself?" Stan says, a slight tease in his tone as he walks over to the couch-bed, waiting.

Ford's shoulders slump as he moves over to the place where Stan is seated. Soon, laying down as Stan hums that stupid ducktective theme song. But, he won't lie, Stan is incredibly efficient at this, quick hands setting the tapes perfectly so that the diaper laied perfectly over his hips and ass.

"And there we go," Stan says, "one diapered up nerd," as he gives a hardy pat to the front of the diaper, chuckling when he feels Ford squirming against his touch, "lets see how long this one last, seeing how drenched I've seen those pants."

With one more pat, Stan stands up and leaves Ford to lay there with FAR too many thoughts for him to even sort through at the moment.

Ford just glances down at the diaper. The one /his/ brother put him in. He grabs the nearby blanket for an early bedtime- just praying he'd still be able to squeeze into his pants with what's taped around his hips.

Unbeknownst to Ford is that Stan is making a mental note to pick up the thickest diapers available at the shop- they had a 30 year gap, perhaps it's for the best they turn over a new leaf and start back at the beginning,,,in a way-

[asteddiemess]

cw: desperation, messing

Steve hadn't meant to be holding it as long as he had. He'd felt a vague need to shit as soon as he and Eddie got to the fair, but didn't want to go so soon. He followed Eddie so they could make a start on the rides.

After a few rides, the need to go was a little stronger, and he was about to mention making a stop to use the bathroom, but Eddie beat him to it.

"Jesus, I have to piss like a racehorse. D'you mind if we stop?" Eddie asked

"It's fine. I was gonna ask anyway." Steve replied, feeling a little more at ease as he and Eddie made their way to the line of portapotties.

There was a line, nothing too crazy, but it looked like it would only get longer as the evening went on. After a few minutes, he and Eddie were at the front of the line. Eddie shot into the first one to open up, and Steve felt a sense of relief when he saw another one unlock.

He shot in and locked the door, and was about to pull his pants down when he noticed that there was no toilet paper. He didn't want to spend the rest of the day with skid marks in his underwear, but also didn't want to either get out and try to get into a different one, or have to get back in line. So he decided to just pee, and wait until either he or Eddie needed to go again. He was a little uncomfortable as he met Eddie, but it wasn't anything unmanageable.

They spent several hours going on rides, and playing the games. Steve's need to shit was starting to get urgent. He suggested heading back to the portapotties, and was thankful that Eddie agreed. As he predicted, the line was much longer. They joined the back and Steve silently prayed that he'd either get a different one to earlier, or that the toilet paper had been refilled.

He was next in line when he overheard a group of girls that had just exited. "I can't believe that none of these things have any toilet paper."

"I know, right. I asked that guy over there and he said that they never had much. All of them were out after like two hours."

Steve's heart sunk as he heard that. He really had to go, but there was no way he was willingly going to shit without being able to wipe his ass after. He went into the next one, and just peed. Emptying his bladder just made his need to shit even worse.

"You okay, Stevie?" Eddie asked as he rejoined him.

"I-." Steve hesitated for a second. He didn't want to admit that his problem was having not shit for a while. "I don't feel so good. Do you think we could head home soon?"

"Sure. Just one more ride?" Eddie replied.

"Okay." Steve agreed, hoping it wouldn't be too long. He was planning on pulling over at the first stop they could find once they'd left.

He felt more nervous when they reached the ride that Eddie had chosen, especially once he saw the length of the line. It would be cutting it fine whether he would make it.

"You're not coming?" Eddie asked as he noticed Steve hanging back as they reached the end of the line.

"Uh. I'm going to wait this one out. I don't think it's a great idea where I'm not feeling great." Steve replied.

"Oh, yeah. I guess that's a good idea. I'll come find you after."

"Yeah, I'll just be over there." Steve waved in the direction of a small seating area between stalls.

Steve walked in the general direction but he didn't want to risk sitting down with the way his stomach was feeling, instead he chose to stand against one of the nearby stalls, making sure he could still see the ride Eddie was in line for.

He waited for a few minutes, and the urge to go was reaching emergency levels. It was so bad he wasn't sure if he would make it back to the portapotties, let alone into the car and to a different bathroom.

He watched carefully to see where Eddie was in the line, all while he was squirming on the spot with his legs crossed in attempt to hold it back.

As he saw Eddie reach the front of the line and start to get on, his body finally gave in. His stomach cramped violently, and he couldn't hold it back any longer. A long log of shit forced it's way out, coiling in Steve's pants. As the first log broke off, he had to squat slightly. The second wave hit worse, with much softer, mushy shit filling his pants. He couldn't help the tears starting to run down his face as he finished emptying himself into his pants. He knew he was going to have to, somehow, explain it to Eddie.

He stood up as straight as possible, keeping his back to the wall of the stall he was by so no one would see what he'd done. He did his best to look normal when he could see Eddie coming.

"Stevie, what's wrong?" Eddie asked, looking concerned.

Steve just shook his head, unable to find the words.

"If you felt so bad it's making you cry, you could have said something. We could have just left, I didn't have to go on that last ride. Come on, let's get you home." Eddie reached for Steve's hand, but Steve flinched away.

"I. I've had to shit so bad, since we got here. But I didn't want to go here because there's no toilet paper." Steve said quietly.

"Oh, baby. That must hurt so bad. We could head back over there, and while you wait in line I could grab a bunch of napkins from the food stalls so you can wipe?" Eddie offered, and Steve felt awful that he hadn't thought of that and maybe asked Eddie to get some napkins while he waited the last time they went to use the bathroom. But he'd been too stubborn to admit what he needed.

"The thing is, I sort of already went." Steve admitted, blushing deeply.

"You mean you- In your-" Eddie asked, looking Steve over.

"Can we just go?" Steve asked, shifting uncomfortably because of the weight of the mess, and knowing it would be making his pants sag.

"Yeah, let's go. I'll walk behind you so no one else can see." Eddie replied, his eyes immediately going to Steve's ass as he stepped behind him.

"I can feel you looking. How bad is it?" Steve asked after a few seconds.

"It's bad. It's so obvious, and there's even a bit of a stain from it." Eddie replied quietly.

Steve didn't respond to that, knowing it was going to get much worse, as he would have to sit in it for the drive home. He just hoped that there would be something in the car he could use to protect the seats.

this has been half finished in my drafts for months. as in since august. finally got it finished and out!

[mychlapci]

We've talked robot periods before right? I gotta project here, make it someone else's problem. Rodimus hates getting his period. He's so uncomfortable and cranky from cramps and frame aches, his period is always long and heavy and leaves him a mess by the time its over. He gets a brilliant idea though while he's writhing in berth one night on how to make the pain stop.

Ratchet did not think it was as brilliant as Rodimus did when he showed up in medbay for a pregnancy test. It was a perfect plan, Rodimus didn't see the problem. If he was sparked, his valve lining wouldn't refresh for another stellar cycle, no more pain! Ratchet was ready to physically grab the captain to shake some sense into him, if Rodimus wasn't carrying he would have.

The pains from carrying are hardly as bad for Rodimus as his period pain, at least that's what he tells Ratchet. It's a different kind of pain and discomfort. His frame was achey in different spots, his bladder was constantly being crushed or kicked at, he was so tired all the time, it was still a better ordeal though than the bad periods. Unlike his period, the pregnancy had plenty of benefits to offer.

Rodimus' tits were huge now with milk for his little sparklings, and he looked damn good with the extra carrying weight. His period made him feel gross and bloated in the tank but he glowed with his carriage, other mechs couldn't keep their hands off their sexy milf of a captain. Maybe it was the matrix speaking to him or some kind of prime feeling Rodimus had, but carrying and repopulating Cybertron just filled him with a spark deep sense of satisfaction. He was absolutely built to be a carrier and provide his planet plenty of cute little babies, and of course they're gonna be cute I mean haven't you seen Rodimus? Ratchet can't even fight him about the dumb idea after so long, not when he's as distracted as everyone else about how gorgeous Rodimus was with a baby in him.

The pains from birth were terrible, it was the only time Rodimus had slight regret in getting pregnant. He grunted and cried in the medbay over it all, but really? He could take the hours of pain versus the weeks of his long periods. When he would zone out and stop thinking about it, it almost felt good having his valve stretched so far open by his fat little sparkling's helm and shoulders. When he was pushing the second bitlet out, he ended up overloading on the delivery table. He had 2 healthy and happy bitlets latched to his nozzles, and the main thought Rodimus' mind was how long he'd have to wait to be sparked again. No way he's going back to the decommissioning weeks of pain when he can get so much time away from it with so much reward back.

oh lord oh lord this is so hot. Ouch though, Rodimus' periods must be really terrible for him to prefer carrying.

Pregnancy is honestly soooo good for him. He looks sexier and feels sexier, constantly taunting mechs with his big swollen belly. The birth was his only doubt, but he found he doesn't mind it – the stretch was pleasant when he really thought about it, the feeling of his sparkling driving into his ceiling node every time it slipped back in even brought him to a squirming overload right there in the stirrups, so the way he sees it, this was an exceptional trade-off.

Rodimus gets pregnant as soon as possible. Once his valve was good for interfacing he simply started taking it raw again and a miracle happened once more. He's still breastfeeding even as his third sparkling is about to be born, tits constantly heavy with milk.... And this time, he's looking forward to the labour, too <3

[wanderingwriter87]

This morning Nigel was acting extremely lethargic, vomiting, and I realized he had never finished his dinner last night. He'd also been hiding under my bed and acting very out of character. He has a history of bladder problems, and if you have a male cat you know that blockages can become fatal in the blink of an eye - so I called out of work and took him into the emergency vet this morning.

Thankfully, he didn't have a blockage today. After an exam and some bloodwork they are still not sure exactly what made him act so sickly - I'm home with pain meds and monitoring him now.

I was lucky enough to be able to cover the bill on the spot, but it was absolutely not in my budget and the next few months are going to be a struggle with the upcoming medical and dental care and I need as well. I don't regret playing it safe considering his medical history, but if you feel moved to help out with a $400 vet bill here's my ko-fi.

Thank you ❤️

[pseudowho]

Hi Mrs Haitch! First let me say that I adore your stories and the way you write the men in your fics. Not only are they hot and enjoyable to read but also they feel real and adult. I don't want to bash on anyone by saying this, but sometimes it's difficult to enjoy fics written by younger people when you're pushing 30 because they portray a different reality. Please, never stop writing!

Before getting into the next part of the ask I'd like to say that this is in no way a demand and I it's not my intention to trauma dump on you. I just felt like talking a little about my experience could provide a bit of context.

I just read the ask about the soft spot and, although I'm not a virgin, I'm a serial victim of bad sex. I would love technical (even if explicit) descriptions on how to find the famed spot. I think is really cool when women in the medical field talk about sexual health, and it could be good having this kind of knowledge on a famous fic blog like yours, since I imagine a lot of fic readers are either virgins or had less than ideal sexual experiences, like me.

I don't want to seem like I'm pressuring you though! I totally understand if you prefer to keep this kind of thing out of your blog. It's just that a while ago I read on another blog from a healthcare professional a post about how sex shouldn't hurt even in the first time and I was blown away (this happened years after I started having sex and after having deemed myself "defective" and doomed to painful sex to the rest of my life)

Sorry for the long ask. Sending lots of hapiness your way <3

Well, if it helps even one person, it is absolutely my pleasure to do so.

I'm sorry for your bad sex. Nothing excuses it, frankly, and I'm a firm believer that most people are profoundly shit at giving vagina-owners orgasms.

(you calling my blog 'famous' does not go unnoticed and I could blush. Shhhh.)

I think age comes with so much beauty. I am a staunch believer in the unifying power of people, and when groups of women support the ducklings of the group, the ducklings are far less likely to be led down the garden path, on what is 'normal' or 'abnormal' or 'good' or 'bad' in sex.

This is why men and the media fear strongly-bonded groups of women so much-- it's almost like we'll talk and start to take note of the real problems. Cats amongst pigeons, right?

Anyway...

Cw and tw: medical discussion, discussion of self-examination

So again, while the location of the g-spot varies in exact location from vagina-owner to vagina-owner, on average it is located 2-3 inches into the vagina, on the anterior vaginal wall.

What I mean by anterior vaginal wall is, if standing and facing forwards, it's the wall of your vagina closest to the front of you, rather than your back.

Picture posted again, for reference!

The g-spot is of variable size, usually the size of a large coin, and it may feel a bit rougher or ridged than other parts of your vagina, but becomes spongier or thicker and plusher when aroused or stimulated.

If you were to get two fingers on your dominant hand, reach inside the vagina up to the base of your fingers, and hook forwards, you should find it.

I suggest for the first time, finding it when you need to pee. This is because, the g-spot sits against the urethral canal (the tube you pee out of), and if you have a full bladder, you'll know you've found the g-spot because it will feel really sensitive and likely increase your urge to pee.

If you happen to orgasm with g-spot and clitoral stimulation while you have urine in your bladder, your chances of "squirting" (which, if you see my previous post, is almost certainly just pee) are much higher. It's a unique experience and you should try it. Put a towel down.

I find a good sized wand vibrator, inserted and positioned just-so, will give great continuous g-spot stimulation while you, or someone else, goes to town elsewhere.

Start combining all of the erogenous zones and it's party time.

As said previously, sensitivity is very variable. Exploring and knowing yourself is key to showing a partner how to pleasure you.

If you have sex with a partner who responds with anything other than "teach me" absolute enthusiasm, when you want to show them what works for you...if they 'try' for a short time, then give up? If they carry on doing their own thing anyway? If they're impatient?

Kick them to the curb. They can go fuck themselves.

Very much love as always,

-- Haitch xxx

[secretsub74]

When I was in the high school I went through a massive growth spurt over one summer. I went from being a short chubby kid with a girlish voice to a tall good looking young man with a deep voice. Bullies were leaving me alone and girls were actually giving me attention. What had not changed was that I was still an insecure kid who was prone to anxiety that was about to rear it’s ugly head.

Early in the first semester a teacher convinced me to run for class President. There were no guys running and he wanted me to run just for the experience. One day I noticed everyone gathering after lunch in the gym. I asked my classmate Julie what was going on and she said enthusiastically “We’re listening to the speeches for Class President! I can’t wait to hear yours! “ Walking to the gym I could see that the whole class was there. It was part of an election seminar. How could I have forgotten this?

When I sat down I caught the eye of Michelle a cheerleader I had a crush on. She smiled and said “Good Luck!” It seemed I was on the precipice of a life change. If I just give this speech I would be legitimized. I decided I would listen to the other speeches and I would come up with something similar. However there was one problem. I was the first candidate called to the microphone. My stomach dropped, my hands started shaking, and I suddenly had a very dire need to urinate. My need to pee was so strong I could barely walk to the microphone.

As soon as I was handed the microphone I froze and stared at the audience in total silence. My heart rate went through the roof. My hands were shaking. There was total silence and then an audible sizzling sound. It sounded like someone had turned on the shower.. It could be heard over the speakers. A female voice yelled “IS HE PISSING HIS PANTS?” I looked down in horror at the growing wet spot on my white pants. I wanted to run but I was frozen. I literally could not move. The microphone was right by my hip and it was recording the audible hissing sound that everyone associated with someone having a wetting accident. I looked out in the crowd and there were a lot of people laughing…including Michelle. I tried to stop the urine stream but I couldn’t. The pee cascaded down my pant legs and left a growing lake of urine on the floor. In addition to the hissing you could hear the splattering of urine as it streamed down my legs and puddled on the gym floor. The white pants had become see through to reveal my Superman underwear. Widespread laughter erupted in the gym. All of a sudden I became lightheaded and I collapsed into the arms of the school nurse.

I woke up in the hospital hours later . I had to be sedated at the school because I had a second panic attack that had resulted in “agitation and continued urinary incontinence” I was dressed in a hospital gown. Under the gown I was wearing a t shirt..and a disposable diaper.

I never lived this down. Michele and the popular girls called me “StareyWetsey.” It was an homage to the Betsy Wetsy doll. The Starey part of the name was given to me because I stared at girls and I was caught looking up girls skirts. Michelle would later tell me that that my worsening bladder problems were karmic payback for being a total upskit pervert. I would return to school two weeks later but the problems persisted. Eventually the school nurse informed me that I would not be able to go to school unless I wore adult diapers. My mother protested and said that my bed wetting had returned and she was already stretched to the limit buying diapers for me at night. The nurse said the the school social worker said there was a program for students with disabilities that would pay for the diapers. I would put a diaper on and be checked by the nurse in the morning and I would do the same after lunch. I would tell the nurse how often I experienced “involuntary urination.” During school tests the nurse suggested I wear a booster pad and plastic pants. She said it might be noticeable but you are going to need to adjust to that.

Two weeks later in mid October I had sat down in a classroom after school to do some makeup work. Michelle and her crew were preparing for the Homecoming dance. They had a video camera and were doing silly things with it. Heather walked up to me and offered me a bottle of water. The cap had been opened but I accepted it anyway. I quickly drank it. More women came in until about 20 were there. I finished up my work. I bent over while putting my books in my bag I felt my pants slide down. Then I felt a hand tug on the elastic backing of my diaper. I turned around and Michele was towering over me. Heather had the camera pointed at me. “ So you ARE wearing adult diapers. How pathetic! What kind are they? Attends, Depends, or some cheap off brand that you just know is going to leak.? “ I tried to say something and she said “Shut Up. They are an off bran called ShureDri. That’s what the state gives pants wetting speds whose families can’t afford to buy pampers! That’s what the state is giving you ! ..at least that is what your little sister told me. I am willing to bet that your pampers won’t last wrong. Look around. I have assembled all of the women you have humiliated with your Nerdy Perv actions. Staring, Objectifying, and of course upskirting. In humiliating you, you will understand how vulnerable and violated you made us feel.”

I apologized profusely and blamed the behavior on my shyness and sexual inexperience. I did however say “but it’s just UNDERWEAR and your wearing a short skirt so you’re kind of asking for it.”

“ASKING FOR IT? Girls it is time to put operation humiliation into action!!”

[canirove]

Rúben Dias Imagine | three

Author’s note: Wasn’t going to write anything for Rúben’s birthday, but then I got inspired after watching a reel on Instagram about a girl meeting an actor while queing to go to the bathroom, and here we are 😅 Hope you like it and thank you for reading! 💜

And happy birthday, Ru 😁

Masterlist

"I shouldn't have had that last drink."

"Told you."

"I know you told me" Alexa says, rolling her eyes. "But if a cute guy asks, you just say yes."

"He isn't that cute."

"He is cute. And now he's probably flirting with someone else because he is tired of waiting for me. What is taking them so long? It's just a wee!" she says, looking at the queue in front of us.

"Maybe only one bathroom is working" I shrug.

"Oh, great. Just great!" Alexa says. "I'm gonna miss the chance to hook up with a cute guy, and I'm gonna pee my pants!"

"The hooking up maybe is for the better" I shrug.

"I hate you" she replies, sticking out her tongue. "But talk to me."

"What?"

"Talk to me. If I'm listening to you I don't think about needing to pee, so talk to me."

"About what?" I ask.

"I don't know. Maybe the hot guy you've been checking out since we arrived?"

"I haven't been checking out anyone.”

"We've been queuing here for what feels like an eternity, and you haven't been able to stop looking at the guy standing next to the men's bathroom."

"Ok, fine. I've been checking him out."

"Because he's hot."

"Very hot” I sigh. “And I wonder why he isn't going in. I've seen guys coming in and out and… oh. Oh!"

"Oh what?" Alexa says.

"Just wait here."

"What?"

"Wait here" I repeat, walking towards the hot guy, his eyes fixed on his phone. "Hello?" Nothing. No answer. But damn, this close he is even hotter. "Excuse me" I insist, raising my voice a bit.

"Uh?" he murmurs, finally looking up.

"Hi, sorry to bother you" I say, giving him my best smile. "Do you know if there is anyone in the bathroom?"

"I… I don't know, sorry" he smiles, scratching the back of his head and showing a bicep the size of my head. 

"Could you do me the immense favour of going in and check? The queue for the girls' bathroom isn't moving, and I fear my friend's bladder may explode any moment now."

"Yes, sure" he chuckles. 

As he goes into the bathroom, I turn to look at Alexa.

"What are you doing?" she asks.

"Just wait" I reply.

"It's completely empty" he says from the door a few seconds later.

"Great, thank you! Alexa, come!"

"What?"

"Come here!"

"I don't want to lose my spot on the queue!" she protests.

"Just come here" I say, rolling my eyes.

"Fine. What do you want?"

"This wonderful gentleman here has checked that there is no one inside so you can use the men's bathroom" I explain.

"Really?"

"Yep. So go before something happens."

"Ok…" she says, looking from me to him and back at me before going in.

"Again, thank you very much" I smile.

"No problem" he smiles back. Though it doesn’t last long. "You gotta be kidding me" he says, looking at his phone.

"Did something bad happen?"

"My friends. I told them I wanted a quiet birthday, but they didn't listen, and besides dragging me to this club, now they've hired a stripper."

"Oh, wow" I laugh.

"Yeah" he sighs.

"Is that the reason why you've been standing here all alone for the past, what, 15 minutes? You are hiding from them?"

"I am, yes" he laughs. "Too lame?"

"Just a bit" I smile. "But Alexa and I are leaving. You can come with us if you want."

"You won't mind?" he asks. “We just met.”

"I know I won't" I smirk. "And I don't think she will complain either. You just saved her bladder."

"Ok" he laughs. "Where are you going, tho?"

"Not sure. Some guys we met said something about going to another club, but we don't have to go with them if you don't want to. It's your birthday, you should pick what to do."

"I should, shouldn't I?" he chuckles. "But I don't mind where we are going. What matters is the company" he says, giving me a look from head to toe that makes my body temperature go a few degrees up.

"I'm alive again!" Alexa says, storming out of the bathroom. "Oh, sorry. Did I just interrupt something?"

"No" we say at the same time.

"Are you sure? Because the sexual tension coming from you two is making me horny."

"Alexa!" I say, giving her my most murderous look. "Should we go see if your cute guy is still waiting?"

"Oh, yes! If you are getting laid tonight, so am I" she says, giving us a mischievous smile before walking away.

"I… umm… happy birthday?" I shrug.

"Happy birthday" he laughs, taking my hand on his and following Alexa.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"Good morning, birthday boy."

"It isn't my birthday anymore" he chuckles while turning to face me, the bed complaining with the movement. How we managed to not break it last night, will remain a mystery. 

"Then happy unbirthday."

"Thank you" he smiles.

"Did you enjoy it?"

"Best birthday I've had in ages."

"What was your favourite part?"

"Do you seriously have to ask?" he laughs, moving to be on top of me.

"I don't know what you are talking about" I try to shrug as he starts leaving kisses down my neck.

"Leaving that pub Alexa took us to was the beginning."

"I see… And then?"

"Then eating that pizza I shouldn't have eaten" he says, now kissing my shoulder.

"You loved it, tho."

"I did" he smiles against my skin.

"And then?"

"Then the walk around town."

"That was lovely. Anything else?"

"Kissing you" he says before doing it.

"A highlight of the night, yes. But I think that wasn't your most favourite part."

"What came after was" he smirks, starting to leave kisses on my chest.

"After?" I ask, feeling my body tensing under his.

"Coming to your place. Kissing a bit more. Taking off our clothes. Being in this exact position. And then…" he says, leaving a kiss below my belly button.

"And then?" I whisper.

"Then doing this" he says before disappearing between my legs.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"Do you seriously need to leave?" 

"I do. I'm meeting with some friends."

"Striper friends?"

"No, not them" he laughs.

"I'm gonna miss you."

"I will miss you too" he says, kissing the tip of my nose. "But we can meet again. Maybe have a proper date?"

"That sounds perfect" I smile.

"Great."

"Great" I repeat.

"Now I have to go" he says, opening my flat's door. "Thank you for the best birthday and unbirthday ever."

"You're very welcome."

“And sorry for lying earlier.”

“What?” 

“When I told you that my favourite part of the night had been… well, you know” he smirks.

“You seemed to really enjoy it. And every time we did it.”

“I thoroughly enjoyed it. But all that wasn’t my favourite part. You were my favourite part. Spending it with you.”

“Aww, that’s cute” I smile.

“I know. I am very cute” he smiles back. “And very late, so I better leave. See you soon, ok?”

"Ok. But wait!" I say, stopping him as he turns his back at me. "You are forgetting something."

"Am I?"

"This" I say, wrapping my arms around his neck and kissing him as if my life depended on it. "A late birthday present so you don't forget about me."

"I won't forget about you, trust me.”

"You better" I threaten him with my finger. "Now you may leave."

"Ok" he laughs. "Bye."

"Bye" I smile as I watch him walk away down the corridor, crossing paths with my flatmate Caroline.

"Please tell me I'm not dreaming and that I just saw you making out with Rúben fucking Dias" she says when we meet.

"What?" I laugh, walking into our flat.

"Rúben Dias? The Manchester City player? That was him."

"That wasn't him."

"Yes, it was. I would recognize that back and those biceps everywhere.”

“And I would also recognize him if I had spent the night with him” I say, letting myself fall on the sofa.

“Did you sleep with him?"

"I did."

"Oh my God!" Caroline says, sitting next to me. "You fucked Rúben Dias!"

"I didn't! It wasn't him!" I insist. 

"Then he now has a twin brother?" she laughs. "Did he tell you his name or used a fake one?"

"He… he actually didn't tell me his name. And I didn't tell him mine either."

"You what?"

"We were too busy talking and having fun, and when we came here there was no time and… Oh my God, Caroline. Oh my God! He said he wanted to take me out on a date and he doesn't know my name! And I didn't give him my phone number either! How will he find me?" I say, starting to panic.

"Well, he knows where you live. It’s something" she shrugs.

"I guess, yes…"

"But I still can't believe you hooked up with a guy, didn't share names because you were too busy flirting and then making out among other things, and he turns out to be Rúben Dias" Caroline laughs.

"Are you sure it was him?"

“Positive. But wait" she says, taking out her phone and looking for something. "Ha! I knew it! John Stones posted this story last night. Celebrating my mate's birthday, he says. And look who is the guy standing next to him in the photo."

"No… fucking… way.” Same messy hair, same brown eyes, same shirt with half the buttons undone for whatever the reason. It is him. The guy I've had one of the best nights and mornings of my life is... “I slept with Rúben Dias!”

“Told you” Caroline laughs. “Congratulations, girl.” 

“I slept with Rúben Dias”I repeat, realization kicking in. He was Rúben Dias. The Rúben Dias. Holy shit. 

[eternal--returned]

I just woke up to my second day out of the hospital. I went in to the ER with an ulcer flare that had drained my blood and made me weak on 11/6. For 11 days I laid in the hospital bed waiting to see if steroids would get the flare under control. In those days there was zero progress. Eventually they would place a feeding tube down my nose into my stomach. I had it in for three days before I had a vomiting fit and the tube came up with everything else. The 11 days were horrifying in the lack of improvement. I was slowly wasting away in the hopes that the inflammation would finally stop, but since I had lost so much weight and blood and strength we opted finally for surgery. The surgery would be life changing in many ways. They were going to cut me open using the same incision spot I had in February of this same year. That spot had healed so well and I was so proud of it. I was nervous about how the surgery would change parts of my life. They were removing my colon and placing an ileostomy and I would have to wear an ostomy bag that would hang from the right side of my abdomen for an unknown period of time and would some day be reversible. Thinking how that would change what I wear and ideas about what it would be like and how different taking care of that new appendage would be. I also knew the surgery would mean that I very likely will not have to deal with ulcer flares again because the source of it all would be eliminated. I would also eliminate my very rising chances of getting colon cancer at some future point.

The day of surgery brought at least SOMETHING - finally something different to try and to do. As I was wheeled down to the ER in the early afternoon, they were still working on getting the OR ready. I was set in my bed outside against the wall. With a few moments to myself I closed my eyes and felt strongly how much better I was about to feel. It was such a clear certainty that I was immediately buoyed up and I happily greeted all that would be working on me telling them how grateful I felt for how good they were about to make me feel. It brought in good energy and everyone smiled and seemed pleased and excited to get going.

After surgery I did feel immediately better. I knew progress would happen now. But I didn't have any clue that the next couple weeks would try me and break me past limits I had inside myself.

The first problem after surgery was that I just . . . couldn't pee. The simplest thing in the world. Apparently it's a very common occurrence for men post that particular surgery. I was told that if I couldn't pee in 6 hours that they had to ultrasound my bladder to check the fluid level and if I was above a very small amount they would have to cath me. I woke up from surgery with a full catheter installed during surgery. Hurt like a motherfucker when they pulled it out that same day. So my urethra already looks and feels all the way inside scraped and sore and dry. I did NOT want to be cathed again. It terrified me. It felt like such an invasion. I stared to obsess about peeing. I would try to calm myself: to relax my pelvis in different ways, patting my chest with my hand, thinking about being calm and outside in the sunshine, and music. Feel the Flow became the mantra I would repeat over and over in my mind. Then suddenly in a brilliant and funny and just really tender mercy . . . I thought of the song Orinoco Flow by Enya. I was like - omg, I have to make a Pee playlist and that will help me relax and get the message through my body to let it flow man - sail away sail away sail away. I got my playlist made. It ended up being about 3 hours of Enya and like that Return to Innocence song and one of those Gladiator songs and that Adiemus song. That playlist became so important. Enya became so important. I had my nice speaker on with Enya filling the room the whole rest of my stay. The whole time. My spotify stats for the year just got destroyed. I hadn't thought about Enya or listened to her music since high school. I think I had two of her albums, maybe three. I would fall to sleep to them all the time. But I hadn't listened to her in 25 years and suddenly it's all I wanted.

I couldn't pee though. Cathed. So unpleasant and I was getting near to breaking. I was a shaky mess and it took great effort to talk in a voice that sounded so fucking weak and weary. I was frayed. I was also on the clock. 6 hours until they would come check again, and if there was too much fluid, a cathening was coming.

I couldn't calm myself. The Enya stuff was helping, but I could think of nothing else but that soon I would be cathed again if I couldn't pee. I came up with a plan with my nurse. I told her to give me a 20 minute warning before she brought in the ultrasound machine so I could just go try one final time. No luck. No pee. The pleading I did there in that bathroom. I was begging any and every god and ancestor and good feeling in the world to just let me pee. The end of my penis was starting to look so sad and worn. I knew I would break if they cathed me again.

After the second cath I was talking to my nurse. Nurses are absolute angels. What a hard job. What amazingly caring and nurturing people. I had some of the most amazing discussions with my nurses over the three weeks I was there. So my nurse comes in and I'm so obviously just a shaken and terrified mess. She's like - talk to me. I told her I couldn't get cathed again. I was surprised at how I'd lost control of myself when they did it the second time. She told me that if I couldn't pee in the 6 hours that they would have to just go with installing a full cath because cathing me too many times was becoming it's own problem. Freaked me out. She told me I had to figure out some way to acceptance - that it would help me if I could. Help to at least calm me down and steel myself. I spent that 6 hours with the same mantra of feel the flow. I would imagine rivers, water moving, trying to make myself feel like water. I kept trying to move my pelvis in different ways. I couldn't feel a lot of what was even happening down in that area because I was on some pretty powerful pain meds, so it was difficult to figure out what magic button to push, which muscles to constrict or relax. I was moving blind, pleading with my body to release. Suddenly my 20 minute warning came. Back to the bathroom. It took 19 minutes of that 20, but finally, one of the greatest reliefs of my entire existence...I peed! OMG I PEED! I celebrated like it was the greatest achievement I would ever have. Relief flooded me. No full catheter. I called my nurse in immediately and was in tears as I told her and we celebrated together. It was such a good pee party.

My second problem after surgery is that my veins were failing. I was still so dehydrated. There's a saline shortage in America right now. Usually I'd have been on a continuous saline drip via IV my entire stay. I only ever got 2 bags of it and only when it was the most dire. So . . . no fluid in the veins, veins thus were plain worn out. When they would inject anything into my IVs (there were all sorts of medications that were being flushed in all through the day) it would hurt. They had to go so slowly. But I had to get a blood transfusion. My red cell count had dipped past the point they were comfortable with, so we had to get that blood in. And it had to come in at a relatively high speed because it would eventually get too warm. I was very concerned that it would hurt my arm, because just two days earlier they tried an infusion of iron. It was that infusion that ruined the vein on my left arm. We get the blood started and I can tell immediately that eventually it will hurt. I just wanted to see how long I could bear it - hopefully I could just fight through it. Unfortunately that was not to be the case. It began to ache and then burn. I told them we had to stop. I'd had another IV placed in my right arm by the super special ultrasound tech phlebotomist (by the way, my favorite person in the world to have be good at their job is whatever phlebotomist is sticking me). The issue is that it just never really worked. We would use it for small injections, but it just didn't sit right. But we tried it. We get the right side hooked up to the machine and I'm waiting praying that the pain will be bearable enough to get the rest in. But the machine didn't like something about the situation and would refuse to send the drip down.

Shit. Faced with yet another IV placement. I called my nurse in and talked her through my thoughts. I was terrified. She told me they would get the ultrasound tech and that they would get it. She was so confident. I told her we had done that though already on the right arm and that particular IV NEVER worked. So why would it work this time? I told her I'd lost faith in my veins. They were failing. If the last ultrasound stick didn't work, why should I believe it will this time? She was so good to give me the space to talk through all this. She stayed so calm and nonjudgmental. And when I'd gotten my anxieties out, she just said you're gonna have to trust that this is going to work because it's what you need to get better. You know you need this blood, and you know that we have to get that IV placed to make that happen. I did know it. Of course I did. And of course I would tell them to do it and I just focused on being positive and having faith that it would work. I was plagued by concern about if I could maintain my composure during the process. I prayed that they would find a good vein quickly without much digging.

My nurse knew me so well by that point that she came in very prepared. She brought with her the ultrasound tech, and with brilliant foresight, another nurse whose only job was to hold my hand and give me encouragement through the process. It shouldn't be a big deal, right? But again - I'd been there so long. Through so many terrible things that were all so invasive. I was a withered, weak, shaking human who had reached breaking, and I was on the verge of breaking yet again.

And boy did I break. The ultrasound tech started in my left arm. She looked around for awhile. Finally found a spot she seemed confident with. My two nurses had my hands and were saying nice things to me, trying to keep my mind occupied. Tech goes for the stick and . . . keeps digging and digging at my jumping vein. I lost it. Just completely lost myself. I never have heard the sounds I made come out of me before. The uncontrollable moaning and crying from the depths of whatever sorrow that exists inside me that had been pent up over 45 years. My body contorted outside my control. I finally was able to at least get my back back against the bed. Both nurses were using their full weight to hold me down. I wailed. I wailed like a three month old baby wails, with a voice of a 45 year old man. It was a terrible, horrifying sound. I could hardly believe I could cry like that.

The tech had given up on the left arm at my pleading. So she moved to the right. My two nurses were trying to get me to breathe. I was heaving. My chest. Heaving as I cried. I couldn't gain control. But I focused on breathing. In through the nose, out through the mouth they said. I was on the verge of hyperventilating because of the huge gulps of air I would bring in. There was so much violence being reacted to by my physical body. I just kept breathing. In through the nose out through the mouth. It was something I could latch on to and focus on. The tech was underway on the right arm. Digging at a jumping vein, but I could tell she was close. I just kept listening to the nurses about breathing. Suddenly I felt the click. Connection. They quickly got the blood going while my two angel nurses tried to calm me. I was still uncontrollably crying, but breathing better. They suddenly asked about music. What's your favorite band? I blurted out Spoon. They laughed. I told them to grab my phone and I played Wild by Spoon - a song which had been one of those hugely inspiration songs I listened to a number of times on my knees in the shower to pump myself up after my previous surgery. And the world, still so wild, called to me / I was lost, I'd been kept on my knees. I would sing that with such conviction in the shower on my knees. The world was certainly calling me and I wanted back at it's wildness badly. The song helped. It played twice. By the second time I was just able to moan sing the chorus. It felt good. I knew I needed to change to Ladies and Gentlemen We Are Floating in Space. I told them to get me my phone. I get it going, turn it all the way up, and let the song wash over me as I continued to whimper as I slowly steadied my breathing. By the time the song started for the third time, I was ready to moan sing along. I sang over and over and over and over again the words All I want in life's a little bit of love / To take the pain away / Getting strong today / A giant step each day. I just kept singing. And they were so kind to let me. Over and over in a round. Finally after about 20 minutes I was breathing pretty normally. But it had broken me. I didn't know I could so completely lose control of myself. I was so shocked at the depth, at the tenor, the terror and suffering that were in those noises I had made.

I feel so good today. What felt like being in a torture camp for three weeks is over. I am whole and well. I literally and figuratively had dead parts of me cut away. Now I am left with a living whole. My body will heal from the damage done and because of how I broke, in that breaking were worlds and walls I had built up that needed to come down. The process and amount of pain it took to make that breakdown happen was so amazing to watch unfold. I now have the opportunity to rebuild in a healthier way. Healing is coming fast. I'm so proud of my body. Of the enormity that it can contain and hold. I'm so grateful for the miracle of it. I will do such a better job of showing that love to my body.