#spoon licker

[greyeisacreativecolor]

The yule lads are very interesting to me, being called out specifically as regional santa claus figures despite their primary story being about causing mischief. Apparently they put little gifts in good kids shoes, and rotten potatoes in bad kids shoes, but this doesn't seek connected to their original characterization, or how much more brutal their mother is.

[kapitanbank]

Drawing another Yule-lad because I like drawing freaks

[cosmopoliturtle]

Can you label which Yule Lad is which? they’re all very good designs, but I was also so what inspired you for the differences between them, especially the one wearing a skull

Sure! I'll do my best to explain XD I know the OG Yule Lads are like little old men, kind of gnome-ish but more unhinged. I took a hefty dose of artistic license and went for a more critter-like appearance. I was going for a sort of Tove Jansson-Moomin vibe. 

I don't expect most people to guess them all since I was focused more on their essence as a group of weird gremlins but I did try to bring something forward to distinguish each one.

Candle Beggar: Sort of the centerpiece of the picture, has a big ol' cande hat to light up the night.

Stubby: Shortest guy, he steals food out of frying pans.

Bowl Licker: I based the bowl on his head on an askur, which is like an Icelandic bowl/mug combo meant for cozy eatings.

Door Sniffer: Big nose for sniffin' doors, he steals baked goods so he's got some swiped donuts around his tail.

Spoon Licker: Most people saw this guy right away, assumedly the most obvious because of the spoon.

Window Peeper: 👀

Sausage Swiper: This is probably the most arcane one. From what I read most sausages in Iceland are made of sheep but since there was a sheep and a cow based Yule Lad I wanted to differentiate Sausage Swiper with a hog's skull, since from what I read the first people who reached Iceland did also have pigs.

Sheep-Cote Clod: Sheep/Goat skull since he loves the sheep's milk.

Gully Gawk: Cow skull since he loves the cow's milk.

Door Slammer: I was inspired by an old church door knocker that looked like a gargoylish grotesque, and I shoved it on his head.

Pot Scraper: Pot slammed on head.

Skyr Gobbler: Skyr is basically Icelandic yogurt, so he's like a poofy ball of yogurt with some berries and honey as toppings.

Meat Hook: Has his hook ready for stealin' meats. 

Hopefully that clears some things up. C:

[thecreaturecodex]

Yule Lad

"Gryla and the Yule Lads" © Marc Potts, accessed on his Threads account here

[It's been a while since I made a new Christmas monster, hasn't it? I woke up this morning with an uncontrollable urge to stat up the Yule Lads. It's December 21st at the time of posting, so look out for Window Peeper!]

Yule Lad CR 4 CN Fey This odd little man has a red cap, a white beard and a look of disheveled mischief about him. His fingernails are claw-like, and the shadows around him cast eerie shapes.

The Yule Lads are a gang of gnomish pranksters, each of them specializing in a particular brand of theft or harassment. They are so named because their habit is to descend upon communities during the winter solstice in order to wreak their mischief. They are the sons of the wicked troll Grýla and the lazy ogre Leppalúði, but themselves are not evil. They once were, and happily abducted children for their mother to eat, but they have mellowed somewhat with the passing of the ages. A household that endures their thefts and torments with good humor may find themselves rewarded with small strange gifts (often those stolen from other households).

There are thirteen prominent Yule Lads who travel together, coming down from the mountains one by one to prey on the same community before leaving in turn after a few weeks of mischief. Each one is named after their preferred targets or habits. They are, in their typical order of operations:

Sheepcote Clod, who harasses sheep and drinks their milk straight from the udder

Gully Gawk, who peeps on milkmaids and steals milk once it has been collected

Stubby, who steals burnt food and dirty pans and has very short legs

Spoon Licker, who licks the stirring spoons between uses to contaminate them

Pot Scraper, who steals leftover food before it can be stored

Bowl Licker, who eats food left out for domestic animals

Door Slammer, who wakes families up in the night with loud banging noises

Skyr Gobbler, who is voracious for skyr, yogurt and other fermented dairy products

Sausage Swiper, who hides in the rafters of smokehouses to steal sausages

Window Peeper, who is a voyeur and general thief

Door Sniffer, who can smell fresh baked bread from miles away

Meat Hook, who uses an ogre hook to steal meat from butchers and pantries alike

Candle Beggar, who steals candles in order to eat them

The Yule Lads prefer not to fight if they can help it. They use their mastery over shadows to teleport in and out of houses to rob and to frighten off anyone who attempts to stop them. If they are met with lethal violence, they will fight back, but typically attempt to flee if they see an opportunity. If one of the Yule Lads is slain, however, his brothers will declare a vendetta against his killer and retaliate in turn. These feuds end with the death of the killer and their associates, or with the killer paying off the Lads with sufficient weregild. Rumors circulate that there have been as many as fifty Yule Lads over the centuries, some of whom were slain and others of whom have grown bored of vexing people and retreated into the wilderness for good.

Yule Lad CR 4 XP 1,200 Variant advanced ogrekin redkind CN Small fey (giant) Init +6; Senses low-light vision, Perception +7 Aura twisted shadows (30 ft., DC 14)

Defense AC 22, touch 17, flat-footed 16 (+1 size, +6 Dex, +5 natural) hp 28 (3d6+18) Fort +7, Ref +10, Will +5 Weakness giant-blood, situational blindness

Offense Speed 30 ft. Melee 2 claws +6 (1d4+5) Spell-like Abilities CL 3rd, concentration +6 At will—dancing lights, darkness, detect thoughts (DC 15), ghost sound (DC 13), lullaby (DC 13) 1/day—grease (DC 14), minor image (DC 15), snare

Statistics Str 20, Dex 22, Con 23, Int 12, Wis 13, Cha 17 Base Atk +1; CMB +5; CMD 21 Feats Alertness, Deft Hands Skills Climb +9, Disable Device +11, Escape Artist +12, Intimidate +10, Perception +9, Sense Motive +9, Sleight of Hand +14, Stealth +18; Racial Modifiers +4 Intimidate Languages Common, Giant, Sylvan SQ deformities (varies), shadow jump

Ecology Environment cold mountains and urban Organization solitary or family (2-13) Treasure standard (thieves tools, other gear)

Special Abilities Deformities (Ex) Each of the Yule Lads has two deformities, one beneficial and one disadvantageous. These are as follows:

Sheepcote Clod: gnarled hands (claws deal 1d6 damage); stiff back (-4 to grapple and trip combat maneuver checks; can only stand from prone as a full-round action)

Gully Gawk: bulging eye (darkvision 60 ft.); light sensitivity

Stubby: thick feet (+4 CMD vs. bull rush, overrun and trip, +2 AC vs. charge attacks); stunted legs (-10 ft. movement)

Spoon Licker: lanky (+5 ft. reach); fragile (-4 Con)

Pot Scraper: thick skin (+2 natural armor); distractible (when rolls a natural 1 on an ability check, attack roll, saving throw or skill check, confused for 1 round)

Bowl Licker: oversized maw (bite attack dealing 1d4 damage); brittle bones (creatures gain a +4 circumstance bonus to confirm critical hits against him)

Door Slammer: vice grip (+2 to CMB to disarm and grapple, +4 CMD vs. disarm and grapple); obese (-2 Dex)

Skyr Gobbler: quick metabolism (+2 to Fortitude saves), weak mind (-2 to Will saves)

Sausage Swiper: long fingers (Climb speed equal to ½ land speed); offensive odor (-2 Cha, detectable at double range with scent)

Window Peeper: enlarged skull (+2 Int, [3 ranks in Appraise]); deformed hand (only one claw attack, -2 to attack rolls with two-handed weapons)

Doorway Sniffer: snout (scent); trusting (-2 to Will saves vs. mind-influencing effects, -1 initiative)

Meat Hook: oversized limb (can wield Medium weapons without penalty); flaking skin (-1 natural armor, vulnerability to nonlethal damage)

Candle Beggar: grotesque ears (blindsense 10 ft., +4 Perception); massive girth (-4 to Stealth)

Giant-Blood (Ex) Although the Yule Lads are fey creatures, they are the children of giants, and as such are treated as having the giant subtype for the purposes of spells and abilities. Situational Blindness (Su) The Yule Lads have trouble targeting creatures who can’t see them. Any creature that can’t see a Yule Lad (such as by closing its own eyes) gains partial concealment from it. Any creature that covers itself entirely (such as by hiding under a blanket) gains full concealment, even if the creature would not otherwise be considered hidden. Shadow Jump (Su) A Yule Lad can travel between shadows as if using a dimension door spell. The Yule Lad must begin and end its transportation in an area of dim illumination. A Yule Lad can travel up to 40 feet a day in this fashion, and can split this distance up in 10 foot increments if he so chooses. Twisted Shadows (Su) In areas of dim illumination or darker, a Yule Lad’s presence animates the shadows within 30 feet of it into leering or wicked shapes. The first time a creature ends its turn within this aura, it must succeed at a DC 13 Will saving throw or become shaken for 10 minutes. If the creature succeeds at the saving throw, it cannot be affected again by the same Yule Lad’s twisted shadows for 24 hours. This is a fear effect, and the DC is Charisma-based.

[oldhalloweentape]

🪨Venture (OW II) x (gn) reader headcanons⛏️

(Start of Romantic Relationship Pt. III Edition!)

(Not my picture!)

(Finally on Pt. 3!!! It’s only been a couple of days since I first started this but I digress— Anyways a friend of mine, @goohts helped me figure out some ideas for this one, and I’m extremely thankful to her for it!)

Warning!: A small nsfw mention!

(Pt. I) (Pt. II)

- To start things off, baking, everyone likes to bake right? Well uh, if you decide to bake with Sloane, you obviously have to handle the oven part… And the ingredient part.

- If you don’t, things may get… Messy, you see they don’t really know a whole lot about baking at first, so they’ll try to wing it and assume crap. Bites y’all in the ass if you don’t thwart it in time.

- Imagine having to stop them from dumping a whole cup (not even a measuring cup, a drinking cup) of baking soda into the mixture, trying to protest against this, claiming that, “It’s called baking soda— so, there should be a lot of it right?” No.

- Besides that, they’re a great helper nonetheless, quickly learning from their mistakes and even getting pretty good at it the more you guys do it.

- I can imagine them making a cake like the mud cake Max, from Max & Ruby, makes but with crushed up Oreos, gummy worms, rock candy, etc.

- Looks a little frumpy cause they’re just too excited to take the time to decorate it, tastes great nonetheless.

- Also, a serial batter licker, you have to stop them from doing it almost every single time you have to give them a spoon or a whisk.

- Don’t want them getting salmonella after all, though they probably think it’d be a thing they’d die honorably for, that or between your thighs but like—

- I think they’d consider baking as a personal bonding activity between the two of you, and even if you don’t know how to— That’s cool! They don’t know either! You can learn together!!

- They definitely devour everything you make for them, if you char it— They’re used to eating rough stuff anyways, and leave NOTHING on that plate, that goes for more than just baking.

- Prefers sugary things, if that wasn’t obvious already. Brings a little baggy of candy with them wherever they go, preferring gummies.

- If you ever made them gummies yourself? They're already planning where to propose to you in their the second you give them the bag and tell them they’re homemade.

- Anyways, outdoor dates again with this one, cave exploring. Oh they’d just love to do that with you, probably suggests such a date like that when you both are celebrating your 6th month anniversary together.

- To say they’re excited is an understatement, traversing underground, being in the presence of rock various and unique rock formations that took years upon years to be where they are today and see it with you?? Oh yeah they’re living the dream.

- They’re constantly fighting the urge to break away from the group and run around, see everything the cave has to offer. It’s like seeing a kid in a candy shop and be given unlimited access to it I swear.

- Excitement aside, they make a point to make sure you’re ok all through out the trip, giving you whatever you request. Just making sure you’re well hydrated or comforting you if you start feelings a bit cramped in there.

- Always makes sure you’re up for it beforehand, wanting you to have as much fun as they are.

- They take so many pictures in sections where it’s permitted, and a lot of them have you as the main focus or in the sidelines, naturally.

- That scrapbook I mentioned earlier is jammed full of so many photos, you have to get another one or two in like a year after getting the first one, can’t properly close by the time they’re finished with it.

- Again, they genuinely want your relationship to work, and they just want you to reciprocate. I mean, what is a serious relationship without that after all?

(Sorry that this came out a bit later than it usually does, just going through some life junk.)

[kaneandfeels]

Yule

In deep midwinter, Kane and Feels make their final stand against The Wheel.

Jack Fitzpatrick - Lucifer Kane

Oliver Morris - Brutus Feels

Tom Crowley - WIndow Peeper, Door Sniffer, Sheepcote Clod, Guly Gawk, Stubby, Spoon Licker, Pot Scraper, Bowl Licker, Skyr Gobbler, Door Slammer, Sausage Swiper, Meet Hook & Candle Beggar.

Oliver Smith - Horned God.

  Script: Jack Fitzpatrick and Oliver Morris Research: Jack FItzpatrick Sound Design: Jude Hodgson Hann and Oliver Morris Directing: Jude Hodgson Hann Original Compositions and Carols: Oliver Morris

It was a Skadi's Symphony Production

Who?

[mikodrawnnarratives]

anyone got baking hcs for renegades characters? I already have one for Maggie cuz I'm me- Maggie is most definitely a spoon, bowl, utensil licker she samples the cookie dough she fears no salmonella risk she IS tasting it before it goes in the oven no one can stop her-

but i'd love to hear if anyone has got any for other characters

[wishing-stones]

Would

Would axe let me be his designated 'spoon licker' when he bakes?

He absolutely would, but he gets at least one in.

... He'll also clean whatever you manage to get on your face off, too, since it's kind of messy, but don't distract him too much! He doesn't want it to burn.

[oobbbear]

Þvörusleikir (spoon licker) broke into your house and stole your spoons

I’m late to see this but I’m protecting my only spoon left with my life rn

[piratespacex]

Þvörusleikir!🥄

His name means “spoon licker”, he’s the fourth Yule lad who arrives on December 15th and leaves December 28th.

His main mischief is as his name suggests, stealing spoons and licking whatever is left on them. However this makes him thin and malnourished, and unlike Stúfur, he’s a tall boy.

[brookstonalmanac]

Holidays 12.15

Holidays

Army Day (Indonesia)

Bill of Rights Day

Birdland Day

Cat Herders’ Day

Coonskin Cap Day

Court Workers’ Day (Ukraine)

Cricket Day (French Republic)

Esperanto Day

Greek Operation Victims Remembrance Day

Homecoming Day (Alderney, Channel Islands)

Human Rights Day (Kiribati)

Koninkrijksdag (Kingdom Day; Netherlands) [Unless a Sunday, then 16th]

Local Charities Day (UK)

Men’s Society of Piu Festival of Mirth, Peace, Honesty, Joyousness and Love (14th Century London)

National Headband Day

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National Play Minecraft Day

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National Wear Your Pearls Day

Navidades begins (Puerto Rico; until Three Kings Day)

North Wind’s Prayer (Elder Scrolls)

Pakistan-Turkey Friendship Day

Power Engineer’s Day (Kazakhstan)

Remembrance Day of Journalists Killed in the Line of Duty (Russia)

Rugby World Cup Victory Day (South Africa)

Second Amendment Awareness Day (South Carolina)

Sleep Comfort Day

Trivial Pursuit Day

World Ice Skating Day

World Martial Arts Training Day

World Otaku Day

World Strengthened Immunity Day

Yuletide Lad #4 arrives (Þvörusleikir or Spoon-Licker; Iceland)

Zamenhof Day (Esperanto)

Food & Drink Celebrations

International Tea Day [also 5.21]

National Cupcake Day

National Gingerbread Latte Day

National Give a Wine Club Day

National Lemon Cupcake Day

Olmeca National Tequila Day (South Africa)

Independence & Related Days

New Massa (Declared; 2015) [unrecognized]

Prudentianopolis (Declared; 2019) [unrecognized]

3rd Sunday in December

Hammock Day (Australia) [3rd Sunday]

Hang the Mistletoe Day [3rd Sunday]

Serene Sunday [3rd Sunday of Each Month]

Seven For Sunday [Every Sunday]

Smörgåsbord Sunday [3rd Sunday of Each Month]

Story Sunday [3rd Sunday of Each Month]

Sundae Sunday [Every Sunday]

Sunday Funday [Every Sunday]

3rd Sunday in Advent [2nd Sunday before Xmas] (a.k.a. ... 

Advent Sunday

Detinjci (Serbia)

Gaudete Sunday

Joy Sunday

Rose Sunday

Zoology Day [3rd Sunday]

Weekly Holidays beginning December 15 (3rd Full Week of December)

Gluten-Free Baking Week (thru 12.21) [Week before Xmas]

Festivals Beginning December 15, 2024

Christkindlmarkt (Lancaster, Texas)

Cocktails at Christmas (Middletown, Virginia)

Night of the Proms (Bremen, Germany)

Feast Days

Alcyone (Greek Kingfisher Goddess)

Betty Smith (Writerism)

Candlenights begins (pan-religious, pan-sexual, personal pan pizza winter holiday; from Adventure Zone & My Brother, My Brother, and Me)

Centipede Boot-Making and Shoe-Repair Season Starts (Shamanism)

Consualia (Ancient Roman festival to Consus, god of the harvest and stored grain)

David Teniers the Younger (Artology)

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Dumanios (Darkest Depths; Celtic Book of Days)

Edna O’Brien (Writerism)

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Feast of Winter Veil begins (World of Warcraft) [thru 2.2]

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Navidades (Puerto Rico; Everyday Wicca) [until 1.6]

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Stupid Inventions Day (Pastafarian)

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Virgin of Cotoca (Roman Catholic) [Bolivia]

Lunar Calendar Holidays

Full Moon [12th of the Year] (a.k.a. ... 

Beaver Moon (Amer. Indian, Colonial, Traditional)

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Digging Moon (Traditional)

Flower Moon (South Africa)

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Ill Full Moon Poya Day (Sri Lanka)

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Southern Hemisphere: Corn, Flower, Hare, Milk

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That Luang Festival (Theravada Buddhism; Laos) 

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Whitefish Moon (Traditional)

White Moon (China)

Lucky & Unlucky Days

Fortunate Day (Pagan) [48 of 53]

Perilous Day (13th Century England) [30 of 32]

Prime Number Day: 349 [70 of 72]

Sensho (先勝 Japan) [Good luck in the morning, bad luck in the afternoon.]

Unglückstage (Unlucky Day; Pennsylvania Dutch) [30 of 30]

Unlucky Day (Grafton’s Manual of 1565) [59 of 60]

Premieres

Alaska (Oswald the Lucky Rabbit Cartoon; 1930)

Alice in the Jungle (Ub Iwerks Disney Cartoon; 1925)

Alice the Piper (Ub Iwerks Disney Cartoon; 1924)

BBC incorporated (UK Broadcast Network; 1922)

Beatles ’65, by The Beatles (Album; 1964)

Birdland (NYC Jazz Club; 1949)

Buddy the Dentist (WB LT Cartoon; 1934)

Carol and the End of the World (Animated TV Series; 2023)

Charlotte’s Web (Film; 2006)

Choclat (Film; 2000)

The Chronic, by Dr. Dre (Album; 1992)

The Concept of Mind, by Gilbert Ryle (Science Book; 1949)

Driving Miss Daisy (Film; 1989)

Dude, Where’s My Car? (Film; 2000)

The Emperor’s New Groove (Animated Disney Film; 2000)

Ferdinand (Animated Film; 2017)

Folsom Prison Blues, by Johnny Cash (Song; 1955)

Gabriel Churchkitten (Noveltoons Cartoon; 1944)

Gone With the Wind (Film; 1939)

The Ice Pond (Terrytoons Cartoon; 1939)

In Venice (Terrytoons Cartoon; 1933)

Jumanji (Film; 1995)

Little Buck Cheeser (Happy Harmonies MGM Cartoon; 1937)

Lupin III: The Castle of Cagliostro (Animated Film; 1979)

The Machiavellians: Defenders of Freedom, by James Burnham (Political Theory; 1943)

Madame Curie (Film; 1943)

Mothership Connection, by Parliament (Album; 1975)

Never Say Never Again (UK Film; 1983) [James Bond non-series]

One Piece Film: Z (Anime Film; 2012)

One, Two, Three (Film; 1961)

Out on a Limb (Disney Cartoon; 1950)

The Pink Panther Strikes Again (Film; 1976)

Pollack (Film; 2000)

The Rachel Papers, by Martin Amis (Novel; 1973)

Revolutionary Road (Film; 2008)

Sabrina (Film; 1995)

Schindler’s List (Film; 1993)

Sense and Sensibility (Film; 1995)

Silent Night, Holy Night (Hanna-Barbera Animated TV Special; 1976)

Star Wars: Episode VIII — The Last Jedi (Film; 2017)

Stormy Weather, recorded by Lena Horne (Song; 1941)

Superman (Film; 1978)

To Hare Is Human (WB MM Cartoon; 1956)

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, by Betty Smith (Novel; 1943)

Tweet Tweet Tweety (WB LT Cartoon; 1951)

Two-Gun Mickey (Disney Cartoon; 1934)

War Is Over ad campaign, by John Lennon & Yoko Ono (Peace Advertising; 1969)

The Who Sell Out, by The Who (Album; 1967)

Wonka (Film; 2023)

Woody the Giant Killer (Woody Woodpecker Cartoon; 1947)

Young Frankenstein (Film; 1974)

Today’s Name Days

Carlo, Christiane, Nina (Austria)

Marin, Valerijan, Viktorija (Croatia)

Radana (Czech Republic)

Nikatius (Denmark)

Kalli, Kelli, Killu, Kulla (Estonia)

Heimo, Nooa (Finland)

Ninon (France)

Christiane, Nina, Paola (Germany)

Anthea, Eleftherios, Elevtherios, Lefteris, Sossana, Sylvia (Greece)

Valér (Hungary)

Cristiana, Nino, Valeriano (Italy)

Jana, Johanna (Latvia)

Gaudenė, Gaudenis, Kristijona (Lithuania)

Hilda, Hilde (Norway)

Celina, Fortunata, Iga, Ignacja, Ignacy, Krystiana, Nina, Walerian, Waleriana, Wolimir, Żegota (Poland)

Antia, Elefterie, Suzana (Romania)

Ivica (Slovakia)

Valeriano (Spain)

Gottfrid (Sweden)

Adlai, Adler, Carney, Mirella, Mireya, Tanner (USA)

Today is Also…

Day of Year: Day 350 of 2024; 16 days remaining in the year

ISO: Day 7 of Week 50 of 2024

Celtic Tree Calendar: Ngetal (Reed) [Day 22 of 28]

Chinese: Month 11 (Bing-Zi), Day 15 (Gui-Chou)

Chinese Year of the: Dragon 4722 (until January 29, 2025) [Wu-Chen]

Hebrew: 14 Kislev 5785

Islamic: 13 Jumada II 1446

J Cal: 20 Black; Sixthday [20 of 30]

Julian: 2 December 2024

Moon: 100%: Full Moon

Positivist: 14 Bichat (13th Month) [Isaac Newton]

Runic Half Month: Jara (Year) [Day 9 of 15]

Season: Autumn or Fall (Day 84 of 90)

Week: 3rd Full Week of December

Zodiac: Sagittarius (Day 24 of 30)

[slashingdisneypasta]

Good Day For It Thugs x Reader || Headcanons

Topic: Smut HC's.

Including/Warnings:

Dale Acton: Mild dub con with (Love/Hate kinda thing+restraining you) and public sex+masturbation.

Norman Tyrus: Cockwarming and shower sex.

Wayne Jackson: Necessary use of boner pills, masturbation (and getting caught), public sex kink, and possession/sort of manipulation through sex.

Wayne's is a doozy, not gonna lie 😅 They're all good though XD

Dale Acton:

One thing that happens a l o t, is that Dale annoys you into hate sex. Hear me out here: Dale can be annoying as hell, and lot of the time- he means to be. He thinks its so fucking fun, and you're so fucking cute when you're annoyed at him. He pokes the bear as much as he can, picking on you and nudging you and just in general making himself a hUGE NUISENCE, until you give in and start snapping at him ('Would you shut up??'). Then arguing with him ('Baby, come on, hey- I was just fucking around a bit with you!- ' 'Don't you 'baby' me right now, Dale- '). Then finally you go to swat him or even wack him on the shoulder, because he is JUST THAT INFURIATING, with that perpetually amused dumbass grin on his face even when you're yelling at him, and he shoves you against the wall ('Watch it, babe, you're playin' with the big boys now'). Or pins you to the bed ('You like that? Huh? you like gettin' held down like you're nothin'?'). Or just holds your arms still by the wrists away from him ('Careful... you wouldnt wanna hurt me, would you babe?'); still with that FUCKING SMILE ON HIS DAMN FACE--

He teases you some more, liking the way you struggle, then somehow you two are making out and you're undoing his belt and you're wet as fuck, or you're making out and he's still holding you down but he grinds into you like an evil horny gremlin, or he forces your face into the bed and you clutch the sheets, or-

Look, you get the point. Moving on-

Dale is not great at using his mouth. He can kiss perfectly fine but when he gets down there, its really just... wet. But he can be taught! And he's eager to try (he loves your cunt/cock!) so, uh... *shrugs* yeah. You can pretty much mold him into the perfect cocksucker/cunt licker. Did I say that??... yes I did. Welp-

This man a l w a y s gets a boner when you spoon. He just cant handle it, having your cute ass so close to him.

Sort of an add on to the last dot point- DALE WILL TOTALLY FUCK YOU IN A MOTEL BED WITH NORMAN AND WAYNE IN THE ROOM ASLEEP. THIS MAN HAS N O CHILL. He begs until you give in, just going 'we'll be quiet. come on, just let me stick it in baby. just the tip. i promise. no one'll know. i'll be quick. i gotta- '

Sexting. You two totally sext, and have phone sex. Send him a pic while he's out 'working' with the guys and he'll have to make his way to the nearest bathroom soon-as; locking the public restroom door behind him like an asshole, leaning back on it, pulling out his dick and calling you up so you can talk him through it.

Norman Tyrus:

Soft Dom. Soft Dommmm!!! Like, he's controlling- you are his baby girl and he's the boss here ('I'm in charge here, not you, sorry sweetheart.')... but he's really nice to you XD Loves praising you. 'Sweetheart take it slow, we got some time... ', 'Fuck... you're so damn cute like that.', 'Y'think you can do that again?... I ain't done with you, pretty thing', 'Shit- Did I tell you I love you today?', 'Come on baby, I know you got some more in you. You're doing so fucking good.', 'Thaaaats it... such a good little cocksucker.', etc.

On an even softer note- Norman. Hates. PDA. Sorry ladies and gents (and all y'all in between and outside the regular gender norms), but the last thing he wants is to have any of the guys (Or anyone, really), seeing him - or you, - in such a gentle state. But that just makes your time alone all the better and more intimate between you. You're the only one who gets to see him like that. This, big, mean, scary crime guy is only ever soft and gentle and sweet, alone with you.

Okay now back to the sex-

You. finish. first. Every time. He makes it his business to make sure you, his doll, cum's good first thing.

One thing Norman is definitely into- is cockwarming. He's a busy man but he doesn't want to neglect you, so why don't you keep him company? God, the first time he suggests it ,its very clear its not his first time; That this is something he brings to every relationship. You're just moping on the couch in his office while he does paperwork, flicking through a book or playing game son your phone, when Norman sighs and separates from his desk enough to make room for you in his lap. 'Cmere'. When you round the desk and see his cock out, you go bug-eyed, but he is so?? completely?? without shame?? So straight-faced with that monster dick out and half-hard on his lap? Its a completely undeniable look for him, and you were turned on immediately seeing him like that, and you took your seat.

So you sit, milking him for upwards of an hour while he does his work; even makes and takes calls with you nestled around him. He remains hard the whole time.

Shower sex!! Sometimes shower time is the only private time the two of you have alone together (But y'all do it when you're perfectly alone and have time, too), and, honestly?? He loves seeing you naked. I don't care if you're skinny, fat, muscly or somewhere in between, he l o v e s how you look. He cant get enough. And he's not shy about his own body, either.

Shower sex isn't just needy, desperate rutting with Norman. Its slow, its him appreciating your body and you kissing all over him. Its staying in there until the water gets cold. ... then some desperate rutting and fucking you into the wall.

Wayne Jackson:

First of all, you must give him a warning at least 45 minutes prior. The man needs to take his boner pills! But I dunno, maybe its just me and my having mostly old man F/O's but I think thats kinda endearing, in a way XD

A lotta the time your sexcapades (Yes i just said that) involve watching TV and waiting for 'it to happen' (The pills to kick in), and then- 🤣🤣 And then- 🤣- Wayne will go like 'woah- alright up & attem, honey, we're ready to go, hop on'. XDDDD Sexy, huh??? XDD 😂😭

Of course, the other way that this could go is that you spend a good chunk of time with foreplay. Now, Wayne's lazy, and an ass, but I do think he likes a little foreplay. Especially if he can just sit back with you in his lap giving him kisses and rolling your hips all-needy against him- and, of course, if he can tease you.

AND- OH BOY THE TEASING. Okay okay okay. His voice gets growlier the more turned on he is. You didn't think it was possible, but it does.

Oh my god, he LOVES. TO CATCH. YOU TOUCHING YOURSELF. He could be in such a foul mood getting home from 'work', but the moment hears that??? Or walks in and sees you?? You've never seen the bastard so pleased XD Something about the fact that this isn't for him, the fact that he wasn't meant to be there, wasn't meant to know about this-- makes this creepy old man feel young again. Like, no need for a pill. He's good. 'Well wouldja look at that... Ready to go, honey?'. But lorddddd, could you imagine that man walking in on you like that?? That shit-eating grin? 'Ooh, now what's that you're watchin?', '... 😏watcha got under the covers there, sweetheart?', 'well damn, am I late to the party?'.

Sort of the same thing as one of Dale's dot points- but Wayne h a s b e e n k n o w n to get frisky in the same room that the others are sleeping in. He's not gonna full on fuck you, because this is way less about his sexual pleasure and more about his cruel nature (He loves to put you in Situations. It is so fun for him.). So it'll be him feeling you up, or him throwing an am over your waist from behind and fingering you. The important part is 'you better stay silent, sweetheart, or everyone's gonna know what a naughty little thing you are.'

Okay. A bit of a feelsy one here.

Wayne definitely gets jealous and possessive. If someone else (Especially someone better then him. Don't get it twisted, the man knows he's a no-good loser. Usually he doesn't mind... but he still resents people who have got their shit together), someone taller, or younger, or richer, or nicer- pays attention to you, Wayne gets spiteful. And bitter.

And then when you two are alone again he gets kind of... uhhh... full-on. Sex with Wayne is never all that serious- and even if it is, a it of humour is never too far away. But in times like these he is t o t a l l y serious, and honestly?? A lot better then he usually is. He really steps it up. You suspected that he had to be better then he seemed, he sure was old enough to be, but you didn't know he could kiss you like this. You didn't know he could eat you out or suck you off- at all. You didn't know he knew about that one Spot.

You learn a lotta things about what he knows how to do, and how he's just being lazy and greedy most of the time.

He finally shows you his real game, because he wants to prove to you he's the one you want. Pull out the big guns, he figures, and you'll stick around.

... oh and finally. i'm pretty sure he has a breeding kick of some description. do not let this man get you pregnant; he will not pay child support.

[ttsun]

More thievery! Jail for Loki!

The fourth Lad is Þvörusleikir (Spoon-Licker)! He steals and licks wooden spoons🥄 He is also said to be extremely thin due to malnutrition, but I didn't use that here. A þvörur is a long wooden spoon btw.

I was going to draw Loki with the usual haircut but I decided to go with the God Of Stories one This one looks a bit derpier than the rest but you should love him anyway. Or hate him. Have fun idk

Loki's outfit is inspired by the one of Brian Pilkington's illustration!

[random-conspiracy]

nom nom nom

call the the spoon licker the way I'm gay

@pseudopersona

[liliallowed]

Crimson is never beating the masochist allegations lamooooo

I have a question! Are there any vampires or mortals who worship Crimson for being a pure vampire or "first" Vampire?

oh definitely.

not just mortals other vampires flood around them wanting to add them to their group for political boosts and extra power.

there hasn't been a pure blood for thousands of years so the elders kept them in a near extravagant castle, keeping them fade from the hunters or the other faction...

but as a young adventurous gremlin that they are they snuck out and disappeared! during the years they mainly act as a double it triple agent between vampire factions. they have multiple fake identities and tend to avoid people who are boot lickers. it disgusted them.

it's why they were just so utterly fascinated with the vampire hunters. all their life they've had everything they asked for. they lived like a monorch. fed with a diamond spoon. yet it all felt so bland and meaningless. unlimited power. immortality. they had everything.

yet their life only started when they could feel the pain of the sun, the scent of the soil. the cold the rough thorns on the ground.

it's not necessary because they're a masochist. they come a place of complete privilege and feel... deprived of excitement and meaning. the addiction to put their life in danger is a way to push back against the box they were being pushed into.

it's a novelty to be disrespected. most would praise them or fear them... they like the rough attitude! they wanna go wild with the boys in the street! screw being a princess! (gender neutral)

they're my favorite Disney princessex

[cue people screaming as the town burns and crimson is smiling demonically]

[irlcats-bracket]

cat check

did you know what cats have paws? wild

i can find a few mins to check on cats don’t worry.  also i see what you did here. but yes she is totally fine. beautiful eyes

yes your beautiful willow is fine. as someone who sits in a tub sometimes i agree with her thoughts on sinks

bestie there are as many not orange pumpkins as orange ones i can’t 

okay. there is a tortie pumpkin who loves tummy rubs. a white-and-tabby who steals doritos and is very fluffy. a tuxedo pumpkin who hoards springs under the couch. the one in the middle is the only male one so i assume he’s yours 

hello cat checker feline find appreciator this is cat bracket. her photo works as intended. also  can i hear that song you mentioned?

yes spoon licker and hand devourer are both ok