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softcursechoso · 1 month ago

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Somewhere, We Do: Ch. 7

JJK x Reader Nanami x Reader

Masterlist

GIF by theanomalouskid

MDNI! // 18+ // NO SPOILERS ARE OFF LIMITS!

Ch. 7 Warnings: Cockwarming, blowjob, utter chaos. Putting Nanami in a situation he'd never be in if it weren't for you!

Words: 9k+

LAMBDA PHI WINSLUTS

Nanami Residence : 11:38pm : Nishihinjuku

Nanami’s apartment was dim and warm, cocooned in that late-night haze where time doesn’t move right. The city glows quietly outside the floor-to-ceiling windows, but all you can feel is the weight of him behind you.

The two of you are spooning on his bed. Arms wrapped around your waist, lips soft at your nape, and—most pressing—his very much still-hard cock buried inside you.

“See?” You mumble sleepily, cheek mashed into his absurdly luxurious pillow. “This is comfortable, right?”

There’s a pause. He exhales against your shoulder. “If you like it.”

Your eyes snap open and you twist back a bit. “Wait…you don’t?”

“I’d rather there be a bit more movement.” He speaks plainly.

You narrow your eyes at him. “Kento, we went five rounds. Five. My pussy is sore.”

“That wasn’t a complaint.” He whispers in that smooth sexy voice. “I like being close to you. I was just making a comment.”

You pout. “Mhm. A comment.”

Then, just to be difficult, you shift your hips. Just a little. Enough to feel him twitch inside you like a loaded gun. Nanami lets out a sharp breath. You feel him throb.

“If you want to go to sleep like this, don’t do that again.” He warns, low.

“I didn’t do anything.” You whisper, already smiling.

“You wiggled.”

You grin wider, “I’m not the only one. I feel you squirming.”

“I am restraining myself.” He grits out.

You sigh, content. He’s still so deep inside you it feels more like a stake of claim than sex. Honestly, cockwarming seemed like a good idea at first—cute, intimate, but no one talks about the logistics.

He’s huge. Like unholy levels of big. You're starting to think you made a critical miscalculation trying to sleep with this inside you. Still… you felt cozy, and a little sore in a good way. You feel safe.

Your eyes shut once more and you listen to the sound of both of your synchronized breathing. It’d been an entire month since the new year began, and your resolutions were coming together very well. Yeah, this was gonna be your year.

BZZZZT.

You twitch.

BZZZZT.

You grumble and ignore it.

BZZZBZZZBZZZBZZZ.

“What the fuck?” Your eyes widen swiftly.

Your phone on the nightstand is going absolutely crazy. Goddamn, you just got comfortable.

Nanami hums sleepily. “Work?”

“I hope the fuck not- and honestly I don’t care if it is. I’m gonna turn this shit off.”

You reach out, snatch your phone from the nightstand, and squint at the bright screen.

You stiffen up a bit, “Oh no.”

Nanami lifts his head. “What is it?”

“Oh shit. Oh shit shit shit!”

He’s instantly alert, squeezing you a bit tighter. “What’s wrong?”

You scramble under the blankets, “Lambda Phi just touched down at Narita.”

He blinks. “…You’re going to need to explain that to me.”

“My sorority sisters are in Japan, and they’re about to ruin my perfect relationship!”

Nanami says nothing. Just stares. The silence is foreboding.

Then—your phone explodes again.

Group Chat: Lambda Phi Winslutsss 59 messages 🧨💋✨🍸

[Tiff 💋]: TAKE THE NEXT FEW DAYS OFF BITCH! THE LAMBDA PHI WINSLUTS HAVE LANDED! 🛬🛬🛬🛬🛬

[Lex 🍸]:Why are you hiding your new man?? Dick good but the face card declinesss?? WHERE IS HIS FACE?! You keep posting collarbones like you hiding him from the feds!

That’s right. You’d been teasing Nanami on social media. Just a soft launch of your relationship, but nothing crazy. A hand on your thigh. A picture of flowers. A hug without his face. Cute stuff!

[Jaz ✨]: Girl we saw his watch. That’s not a regular watch. That’s a “my Roth IRA is flourishing” watch. Don’t act mysterious bitch. We seen your ex’s.

[Di 🧨]: I know you’re not trying to hide him. Not after the last one used to MAIL you dick pics 💀 Reveal his face before we storm your workplace.

You clutch your phone. “I have to leave this country tonight.”

Nanami’s rubs your side, “What’s going on?”

“My sisters know where I work. They probably know which floor I work on. They once found out who my ex was dating based on the way her hair was dyed… They know.”

More texts hit like missiles:

[Tiff 💋]: I KNOW Kaya’s ass is in town too! I texted her asking if he was sexy. She said “lol bitch.” That means yes.

[Lex 🍸]: We brought sexy outfits. You know what kind. Kaya already approved. Your man better be ready to see you in mesh and nothing else!

[Jaz ✨]: Does he know about the Ex Who Shall Not Be Named™ Or the one who used to light candles before y’all had sex and kept fucking up the floor with wax😭

[Di 🧨]:

That asshole sent her a ring made from bones and said “now you’ll always be protected”

And y’all STILL fucked after that

[Lex 🍸]: Didn’t he have kids that weren’t his?! Like be so ffr!

[Tiff 💋]: No, that was the one can’t be named, like before the wax guy. Anyway we pullin up tomorrow! Hope you shaved!

“We’ve been doing so well Kento. We’ve been so happy. This might just tear us apart.”

The blonde sighed, “I see…”

“That’s it? That’s all you have to say?”

“It won’t be that bad.”

“They’re demons. Beautiful, chaotic demons. They will eat you alive if they think I’m soft for you.”

He tilts his head, thoughtful. “Aren’t you?”

You gasp. “How dare you—”

BZZZZT.

[Kaya 🤡]: lmao you’re dead! It was nice knowing you bby!

Group Chat: Lambda Phi Winslutsss 🧨💋✨🍸

[Tiff 💋]: We better see this man by tomorrow or we’re doing a stakeout!

[Jaz ✨]: Does he know you used to cry and write poetry about that man you broke up with over the phone?

[Di 🧨]: Girl the new one better fight for you because weirdo with the kids would've beat the shit out of a man just for breathing next to you.

[Tiff 💋]: That’s not even a joke. He did do that.

You lie back down in despair. “I was having such a good day.”

Nanami is quiet for a long moment, “I’ll meet them.”

You jolt. “You will not.”

“I will.”

“No.”

“Why?”

“They’ll try to break us up if they don’t think you’re good enough for me.”

“I’ll never be good enough for you…” He smirks. “But I can handle them.”

You twist a bit to press a kiss against his lips. “You say that now, but wait until Tiff gets drunk and starts telling you about the time I threw up in a Prada bag and blamed it on Di.”

“...Did you?”

“...I panicked!”

He kisses the shell of your ear. “I’ll be fine.”

You whimper. “You won’t. You’re too calm. They smell calm and they attack it.”

BZZZZT.

[Lex 🍸]: Also tell Mr. Mystery he better wear gray sweatpants. It’s a test!

You groan in agony. Tomorrow’s gonna be hell.

Glasshaus Bar : 9:20pm : Roppongi

Tonight was the night. The final night of your relationship. Nanami wasn’t built like this! He was a hard working man, not a frat brother! He wasn’t about partying and being wild. God you were nervous. Whelp, your relationship had a good run.

The elevator doors slide open with a soft chime, and you immediately regret every single life choice that has led to this moment.

The rooftop bar is glowing—literally. The floor shimmers underfoot like spilled champagne, flickering under the low, warm lights. The skyline of Roppongi stretches behind glass-paneled railings, and Tokyo Tower lit up like a proud little rocket in the background. Music pulses, not too loud, just a throb beneath the chatter and laughter and the occasional clink of a glass. This place screams expensive, the kind of joint that doesn’t bother listing prices on the menu because if you have to ask, you don’t belong here.

You belong, but barely. You feel like you snuck in wearing a costume made of self-doubt.

You’re in a sleek, black bodycon dress that hugs every curve and then some, with a slit up the leg that had Kaya nodding in approval and Tiff yelling “YAAAS BITCH” through a voice memo. The neckline is tasteful but also very- present. You threw Nanami's jacket over it, both for warmth and the illusion of modesty. It smells like him—cologne, control, and money.

Speaking of—Nanami walks beside you like he was ripped straight from a GQ photoshoot.

He’s wearing a black turtleneck under a dark ash-grey overcoat that’s tailored within every inch of his body. His slacks are charcoal, his belt leather, his shoes shined like mirrors, and there’s a Rolex peeking out from under his cuff.

He wore his glasses tonight. He didn’t have to do that. He never wore his glasses unless it was to bed. God help you, you almost had to drag him into a maintenance closet before you even reached the table.

His hand is wrapped firmly around yours. Warm. Reassuring. You wish you could say you looked composed. You do not.

“There they are.” You whisper, spotting the girls in the corner booth, lounging like queens in a throne room made of cocktails.

Kaya is mid-laugh, Di is pointing aggressively at the DJ, Lex is sipping something neon-blue with ice that glows, and Tiff is throwing her head back while Jaz fans her cleavage with a dessert menu.

“Oh fuck.” You mutter. “They’re already up to something.”

Nanami hums, not at all concerned. “They look spirited.”

“Spirited is one word.”

You approach. Your heart is in your throat. As soon as they see you—Chaos.

“BITCHHHH!”

“THERE SHE IS!”

“IT’S THE MYSTERY MAN!”

“OH SHE’S FINE TONIGHT!”

“LOOK AT THAT SLIT!”

“IS THAT HIS JACKET?! OKAY GIRL!”

You don’t even get a full word in before you’re swallowed in perfume, squeals, and overly aggressive hugs. Your girls attack like sharks who smell friendship blood in the water.

Tiff is the beautiful Puerto Rican girl who has on a red silk dress that leaves absolutely nothing to the imagination.

Jaz is the gorgeous half black half Mexican girl in a purple jumpsuit with cutouts that should get her arrested.

Lex is hot the Italian girl wrapped in leather so tight you know that she had to use vaseline to squeeze in it.

Di is the sexy Chinese girl wearing a mini green bandeau dress and very high heels.

Last, there’s Kaya, who’s wearing… a mesh top with pasties and a mini skirt.

They’re beautiful. They’re loud. They’re here to ruin your life.

You cling to Nanami’s hand like it’s a gonna save you.

“Ladies, this is Nanami Kento. Kento, these are my sins in human form—Tiff, Lex, Jaz, Di, and of course, you know Kaya.”

Nanami steps forward, and bows.

It’s not a little nod. It’s a proper, clean, gentleman’s bow “Pleasure to meet you all,” He speaks, calm and smooth. “Thank you for inviting me. I’ve heard a lot about you in the past few hours.”

Silence. Five seconds of stunned, blinking silence.

Tiff is the first to recover. “...You speak English?”

Nanami straightens. “Yes.”

Lex drops her drink. “FLUENTLY?!”

Nanami glances at you. “She didn’t mention?”

You gape. “You never spoke English to me!”

“You never asked.” He smiles softly.

Di removes her sunglasses dramatically. “Say something nasty in Japanese.”

Nanami blinks once. “Pardon?”

Lex nods, “Say something you’d whisper in her ear while she’s in a dress like that.”

Nanami pauses before leaning over to you and switching back to his native tongue. His voice is low enough for you to hear, “Should I actually say something or can I get away with just looking like I said something nasty?”

The girls lose their minds.

“OOOOOOOOHHHHH MY GODDDD!”

“NANAMI SAID WHAT?!”

“WHAT DID HE SAY?! WHY DOES HE LOOK SO HORNY?!”

“YALL!!! KAYA!! KAYA YOU DIDN’T TELL US HER MAN WAS NASTY!”

Kaya is just cackling into her drink like a demon. She heard. She knows he didn’t say shit, but she’ll let y'all live.

You bury your face into Nanami’s coat. “I can’t be here. I have to die. You have to kill me.”

Nanami pats your back. “You will live. You’re very strong sweetheart.”

Tiff waves a manicured hand. “A man who’s hot, speaks like a Bond villain, and shows up to meet the girls? So far so good.”

Jaz leans forward. “Okay, real questions. What’s your credit score? Are you afraid of commitment? Are you allergic to shellfish?”

Nanami blinks. “Excellent. No. And no.”

Di grins, “Perfect. She found a goddamn unicorn.”

Lex, sipping her glowing drink suddenly has a sinister look on her face, “Let’s test him. Nanami. If you had to describe her in three words, what would they be?”

Nanami, without missing a beat: “Brilliant. Inimitable. Vivacious.”

The group is howling. “OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

Tiff slaps the table. “You really like her.”

Nanami finally cracks a small smile. “I do.”

And just like that—they’re in. Lambda Phi hazing shall commence, and Nanami was the new pledge!

You slide into the booth like a woman accepting her fate, sandwiched between Kaya and Nanami. Jaz sat beside him.

Tiff, Lex and Di are on the other side judging him with their eyes. A round of drinks shows up, you don’t remember ordering them, and before you know it the table is deep into a chaotic round of sorority-girl-style verbal combat disguised as bonding.

Tiff starts, “So when did you know you wanted to ruin her life with that dick?”

“Oh God Tiff! Don’t talk to him like that!” You nearly choke! “Please!”

Nanami doesn’t even falter though. “Probably when she asked me for my number.”

Kaya spits her drink. “Damn, that was the first time you met, wasn’t it?!”

Lex continues, “What’s your stance on threesomes?”

Nanami, sipping calmly. “I won’t lie, I’m a selfish man.”

Di raises her freshly plucked brow, “What’s your net worth?”

“Comfortable.”

Jaz looks over, “Do you manscape?”

“Absolutely.”

You’re just there. Watching. Dying. Possibly hallucinating.

You lean over to Kaya and whisper, “Why are they like this?”

Kaya sips her martini. “These are your friends. But shit, whatever test they’re running, he’s passing.”

You glance at Nanami. He’s got his arm on the back of the booth, relaxed, eyes scanning the table like he’s just so comfortable being here. There’s something about the way he doesn’t even break a sweat that makes you so fond of him.

Maybe he wanted to say something made him uncomfortable. Maybe he thought some questions were too personal, but he was clearly answering them for your sake. These ladies were your family.

They may have been drunk sorority idiots, but they were also a nurse, a music producer, a hotel manager, and a small business owner. They were professionals outside of the sheer and glitter. They wanted to make sure you were good. Nanami knew that.

You murmur to Kaya again, “I’m going to marry him, I fucking swear.”

Kaya grins. “That’s why they’re here.”

You look at your girls—your girls, the terrifying queens of Lambda Phi—and you realize something insane.

They approve. Holy shit. He won… well, for now anyway.

The longer the night goes on, the more it becomes clear: Nanami Kento is unbothered.

Not just calm. Not just polite. Not even “holding it together.” No, this man is sitting in the middle of Lambda Phi with his legs crossed, one hand lazily draped along the back of the booth, sipping a whiskey like he’s hosting a fucking TED Talk on composure.

Spiraling!

They haven’t stopped grilling him since his ass hit the leather. Kaya’s just watching, sipping her drink, watching you unravel like this is prime-time television. Di has been trying to trap Nanami with hypotheticals. Jaz is threatening to find Nanami’s toxic ex because apparently everyone has one. Lex has her notes app open where she’s taking down red and green flags.

Tiff is just…smiling. That worries you.

The table gets quiet for a moment when the server arrives—a tall beauty in a white button-down and perfectly tailored black slacks.

“Did we wanna do another round over here? Also, I do need to put a card down for the tab. You guys can all split it up afterwards if you want, but I do need one to hold.”

Everyone immediately looks around like something’s up. Suspicion intensifies. You already know what’s about to happen. Nobody speaks. It’s a game of chicken.

“Oh please.” Nanami casually sets his drink down to reach for the card in his wallet. “It’s on me tonight. Don’t hold back.”

You freeze and the table explodes.

“OKAY MONEY.”

“OH HE’S SERIOUS!”

“YOOOOO, we getting bottle service!”

Jaz does a slow clap. “Not him casually sponsoring the chaos.”

You whisper to Kaya, “Shit… that’s my man?”

Kaya doesn’t even look away from her drink. “He is all yours, girl. Look how calm he is. That’s not a man trying to impress us. That’s a man who already knows he passed the test.”

All the ladies begin to order crazy shit now. Lemon Drops for the table. Espresso Martini. Sex on the Beach. Bloody Mary. Mojito. Gin and Tonic. Fuck it! Bottle service!

You stare at him in awe. “You’re too good for me.”

Tiff leans forward, eyes glinting. “So. She told you about her crazy ex, right?”

You launch out of your seat. “NO!” You wave your hands like you’re putting out a fire. “No no no no no! This is not a conversation that needs to be had! Kento, I promise there’s nothing to worry about, okay? He hasn’t been in my life in years! I already told you about him, remember? Very casual mention. It’s not even—like, it’s not that crazy.”

Yeah, you were definitely making it sound not crazy either, weren’t you?

Lex raises an eyebrow. “Can you fight, Nanami?”

You briefly put your hands over your face. “He doesn’t need to fight! There is no reason. He’s fine. Kento, you’re good. It’s good. We’re good.”

Jaz sips her drink slowly. “Okayyyy…”

Tiff leans back, satisfied. “Just making sure you were informed.”

Nanami, still relaxed, “The cult leader or the cheater?”

You pause. You should lie. You really should.

“…The cult leader…” You admit, already regretting it. “We may have done the long-distance thing for a little bit during my freshman year, but it wasn’t even—like—it didn’t count, okay? It was less of a relationship, and more of two toxic people trying to let each other go... I can’t have this conversation.”

Tiff gasps, hand to chest. “Bitch, I know I didn’t hear you try to downplay that cursed novella of a relationship.”

Jaz throws her arm over Nanami’s shoulders. “He tried to get her to drop out of Duke and come back to Japan every day. She’d open her phone like, ‘huh, thirty missed calls, wonder who that could be?’”

“It wasn’t that bad.” You groan. “I’m gonna pull my hair out. Every single strand. Gone.”

Di slams her drink down. “He didn’t speak a lick of English, but the second he heard one of us talking in the background telling her to hang up- he knew the word monkey real quick.”

Jaz nods, “Oh fuck! He did used to call us monkey’s! Piece of shit—”

“PLEASE!” You plead, “I am begging you. We have to stop talking about him.”

Lex is just nodding sagely. “He had that energy though. I could see the allure, but that shelf life was well past expired before she even got to Duke.”

Nanami raises an eyebrow. “He sounds emotionally unbalanced.”

You whisper, “Kento, please. Don’t engage. That’s how they get you.”

Di doesn’t skip a beat. “He beat the shit out of your last boyfriend when y'all visited Japan that summer before sophomore year.”

You gasp. “That was not my fault!”

Jaz shrugs. “Well, he cheated on her, so it ended up being a good thing.”

Tiff raises her glass. “True. Also? That man worked at a bowling alley and wore basketball shorts to brunch. Ew, that wasn’t the vibe.”

You look at Nanami like please understand my life is a sitcom.

Nanami just nods thoughtfully. “I appreciate the context, but I’m not concerned.”

The girls blink like, really?

Jaz looks at him, “You’re not worried?”

He shakes his head thoughtfully. “I can protect myself and her. Also, I don’t make a habit of comparing myself to cult leaders or cheaters.”

Tiff slaps the table. “OHHHHHHH!!!”

Lex updates her notes app. “+2 for that one.”

Di laughs, “You’re a menace. I like you.”

Kaya leans over and whispers, “He gets it.”

You slump in your seat, face buried in Nanami’s coat. “I need more alcohol. I need all the alcohol. I’ll never make it through this night.”

As if summoned, the bottle service arrives. It’s theatrical.

A glowing tray with sparklers. Ice buckets. Platinum bottles of liquor you didn’t even know existed. The server sets it down with a flourish.

Everyone screams and Nanami just sips his drink like, yes, bring me your finest chaos.

The table turns into a fever dream of toasts, clinks, refills, and accusations.

Di starts up again, “What’s your type, Nanami?”

“Apparently, ex sorority girls with no fear and questionable exes.”

Lex nods, “Touché.”

Tiff, always the shit starter of shit starters asks a question. No, asks the question. “Are you in love?”

Nanami looks at you. Like really looks at you as if taking you in. Not like he’s considering his answer. He already knows it. Perhaps he was just gauging to see if you’d be okay with it.

“Yes.”

You gasp, “Kento…”

“AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!”

“OH MY GOD HE SAID IT!”

“KAYA HOLD HER SHE’S FOLDING!”

Jaz cackles, “Somebody get her a cold rag!”

Tiff fans herself with a napkin. “I love an honest man.”

You continue to look up at Nanami, your face on fire. “You…meant that?”

He nods, steady as stone. “I don’t say things I don’t mean.”

You whisper, “I’m gonna make you say it again to me… but in a more private setting.”

He smirks. “I’m counting on it.”

Before you knew it, the bottle service had turned the table into a miniature nightclub. There’s no longer music in the background—the table is the music. Girls are dancing in their seats, drinks are being poured like shots are going extinct, and everyone’s voice is somehow louder than everyone else’s. There’s a plate of untouched edamame sweating under the lights. Lex is waving a sparkler around like she’s conjuring spirits. Tiff is deep in a drunken theory about astrology.

Even with all of this, Nanami is still flawless. He hasn’t nervously adjusted his clothes, hasn’t even sweated, despite being surrounded by five bombshells yelling questions like it’s a game show.

He’s answering everything. Smoothly. Calmly. Completely unfazed. You’re still waiting for the fazed part. He’d have every right. Seemed like you were the only one who brought red flags to this outing.

Lex fans herself with a napkin. “Why are you like this? Do you take suave pills in the morning?!”

Nanami shrugs, “I have a structured morning routine.”

Di sighed, “Whew. This man got stock options and audacity. I love it.”

You can’t take it anymore. You’ve been pressed up against him for over an hour, his thigh flush with yours, the clean scent of his cologne driving you wild. He hasn’t once broken a sweat. You want to fuck him.

So you do what any sorority-raised menace would do. You pull out your phone. Slide into his texts, and start sexting him.

You: Keep talking like that and i’m gonna slide under the table and make this a 5-star experience. Don’t play with me Kento. I wanna sit on it right now 💦😈

You glance at him from the corner of your eye.

He’s reading. The tiniest twitch in the corner of his mouth betrays him. The only sign.

Then he replies.

[Nanami] 🍯📈: Is that so? Be careful what you wish for. You can barely walk from earlier. Do you need help remembering how deep I was?

You clench your thighs under the table. He did not just say that. You hide your face behind your phone like a coward.

Kaya peeks over your shoulder and snorts. “Are y’all sexting?!”

You shush her violently. “He started it!”

“No, you did.” She laughs, sipping from a flute of something dangerously pink.

You type faster, breath caught in your throat.

You: I could ride you in this booth. Keep answering their questions and let me bounce

like a good girl 👅🍆

Nanami doesn’t even flinch. He’s currently answering Tiff’s question about love languages.

“Mine’s acts of service.” He speaks calmly, eyes flicking to you for half a second. “And words of affirmation. That’s how I give. Receiving- I think quality time and physical touch.”

You bite your lip. You know exactly what his acts of service are.

[Nanami] 🍯📈: Go ahead. Climb on. I won’t stop you. Or would you rather me take you where they can’t hear?

You nearly knock over your drink.

“Girl, are you okay?” Jaz asks, half-laughing, trying to adjust her cutout jumpsuit.

“I’m fine!” You squeak.

You bury your face in your hands. You are a shadow of yourself. A ghost.

Meanwhile, Nanami is texting you again.

[Nanami] 🍯📈: Be a good girl. Finish your drink. If you keep teasing, I’ll finger you in the car on the way home too.

You’re barely hanging on. The drinks, his voice, the way he says things like “be a good girl” like it’s legally binding—you are a heartbeat away from climbing into his lap and making the girls learn a very different kind of lesson tonight.

Kaya leans over and whispers, “Do you need a bucket?”

You hiss, “I need an exorcist.”

You gotta do something with all of this energy. You can’t just sit here being horny. You need to act you need to-

“Dance!” You stand up abruptly. “Let’s dance bitches! We are Lambda Phi! We don’t just sit in a booth all goddamn night! On your fucking feet!”

“THERE SHE IS!”

“SAY LESS!”

“DAMN RIGHT BITCH! LET’S GO!”

Maybe you did want to do something with this energy. Maybe you just wanted to push Nanami’s buttons a little. Hard to tell. Impossible to tell, actually. Either way, it worked, and the ladies were showing up.

The dance floor was a fever dream—low lights, swirling colors, bass that thumps through your ribcage like it’s trying to replace your heartbeat. The rooftop bar has transformed from a classy Tokyo skyline lounge to something closer to a house party in hell. That was just the Lambda Phi charm of it all.

Someone popped a bottle of champagne and is spraying it into the air like it’s a graduation. Tiff is on her third lap around the perimeter just scoping for men she can break. Di is twerking on a stranger. Jaz is grinding on Kaya, and Kaya’s just laughing.

You? The ring leader? Oh yeah, you’re putting on a show. Not for the girls. Not for the DJ or anyone else at this lounge. For Nanami.

Your dress clings even tighter as you dance. The slit high enough now to expose the curve of your thigh every time you move. You're not just dancing—you’re moving like a threat. You roll your hips to the beat, bend low, and toss your hair. You slide your hands up your own thighs and arch your back just enough to make a man lose his mind.

Every few seconds, you glance back at the booth like this wasn’t all for him in the first place.

Nanami’s watching you like you just stepped out of a dream he’s been having for months. One hand on his drink. One arm stretched across the backrest. Legs spread, slacks straining, jaw clenched behind that slight smirk he wears when he’s trying very hard to behave.

You drop it lower—just for him. Your ass to the floor, slow grind back up, hips rolling. You’re illegally sexy.

You lock eyes with him. He deserves a little treat, right? Just a little teeny flash.

A twist of your hips, a swirl of fabric, and just for a second, he sees the truth. No panties. Just a fresh wax and a wicked little smile when you turn back around like you didn’t just expose a forbidden glimpse of heaven to a man barely holding on.

Nanami’s glass doesn’t make it back to his lips. His hand tightens. His jaw flexes. You feel that flood of power hit your spine. You are so chaotic. You are every bad decision he’s about to make. You’re so wet just knowing how turned on you make him.

The music thumps on. You let Jaz spin you, you grind with Kaya for a second, you twerk on Lex’s thigh just to be messy—but you keep looking at him.

Ugh, you can’t take it anymore.

You excuse yourself from the dance floor, cheeks flushed, body humming, dress sticking to your skin like a second layer. You strut back toward the booth like you’re walking down a runway to your doom.

Nanami’s eyes never leave yours.

You slide back into the booth leaving no room for personal space. No, you are in the intimate space now.

“Kento.” You whisper, biting your lip, “You’re hard.”

He doesn’t even pretend. His voice is low, almost strained. “Help me out here.”

You glance around. The girls are still on the dance floor, lost in their own world of ass and tequila.

You kiss him, slow and dirty. One hand on his chest, the other sliding between his thighs. You feel it—long, thick, throbbing. You palm him gently through his pants and feel him twitch, already rock solid.

You pull back, lips swollen. “Tell me what you want me to do… and I’ll do it.”

His eyes are pure heat. “You already know what I want.”

You tilt your head. Innocent. Dangerous. “Head? A quickie? Something filthy?”

His hand slides up your thigh under the slit of your dress, and he leans close, lips against your ear.

“I want you in the bathroom. On your knees. Eyes on me.”

You shudder. Your clit pulses.

You nod slowly. “Let’s go.”

You stand. Smooth your dress. Grab a champagne flute like you’re just going for a refill. Whisper to Kaya as you pass, “Bathroom. If anyone asks, I slipped.”

She grins wide with a loud whisper, “Ahh- I see you!”

You walk calmly toward the hallway, heels clicking, heart racing. The bar’s bathroom is tucked around a corner. Dim hallway. Just out of sight.

You slip inside. It’s elegant. Marble everything. Clean as hell for a bar. It's a single room, so you don’t have to worry about anyone barging in so long as you lock the door.

Thirty seconds later, the door swings open. He enters and locks it behind him.

He’s standing in front of you, broad shoulders taking up the dim, moody light of the upscale bathroom. The marble walls gleam. There’s a faint scent of soap, and whatever the hell cologne he uses that turns your brain to fog.

He looks down at you with hunger carved into every inch of his face, his slacks unbuttoned, his cock thick and heavy in his hand already. He knows you two have to make this quick.

You’re already lowering yourself, knees pressed into cold tile, dress hiked up around your thighs. Eyes locked in on your man.

“You sure?” He murmurs, thumb brushing your cheek.

Your mouth is already opening. Your tongue slides out, slow, deliberate. “Mhm.”

You grip his thighs and lean forward, tongue lapping at the flushed tip first, tasting the bead of pre-cum.

He sucks in a sharp breath above you, hand twitching in your hair. He’s gripping delicately. He knows he can’t mess it up too much since the night isn’t over yet.

You swirl your tongue around the head, slow and teasing, lips gripping softly, eyes locked on his face. His jaw clenches.

Then you wrap your lips around him fully—and he groans. Deep. Guttural. Like he’s been waiting for this.

You take him deeper. The heat of him presses against your tongue, the weight of him impossibly thick. You bob your head slowly, building a rhythm, saliva already coating your lips. You stroke the base with your hand while your mouth works the rest, your other hand bracing on his thigh as he starts to pant.

“Fuck.” He speaks under his breath, voice low and dangerous. “It feels good.”

You pop off just long enough to smirk. “This is only the quick version. Gotta take my time on you at home.”

Yes, you’d given him a blowjob before, but you never gave him that real work. There were a lot of surprises to be unwrapped still in this relationship.

You suck him back in, deeper, your throat stretching. You gag a little, eyes watering, but you don’t stop. He hisses, hips jerking just slightly.

You use both hands now—one pumping his shaft while the other cups his balls, your mouth working him like you’ve trained for this.

The room is filled with obscene, wet sounds—your mouth, your moans, his groans, the occasional ragged breath when he can’t hold it in anymore.

“You’re gonna make me cum soon.” He warns, voice gravelly and his control slipping.

That only spurs you on. You go faster. You hollow your cheeks once more, suck him hard and deep- your eyes fluttering as your jaw starts to ache.

He growls, “Shit—don’t stop—”

He bucks his hips forward and you take him as deep as you can, until your throat tightens, tears streaking your face as you choke just a little, the sounds loud and messy, and perfect.

Then, he surprises you with a massive explosion. Hot. Thick. Deep down your throat.

You don’t flinch. You swallow every last drop. Eyes still on his, hands gripping him, sucking him until he groans again and his thighs twitch and he finally pulls away.

You stand up once more breathing hard, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand, then licking your lips like you just finished dessert.

Nanami looks relieved, but also like he could go for an encore. Hair slightly tousled, breathing hard, his entire body pulsing with tension. He drags a hand down his face.

“That was…” He exhales, staring at you like the goddess you are. “…incredible.”

You smirk, licking a final drop from your lip. “Never underestimate the quick blowjobs.”

He tucks himself back in slowly, eyes still on you. “I need to taste you now.”

You blink. “What?”

He steps closer. “I want to eat your pussy until your legs shake. Until you scream. I want to take care of you.”

You’re already shaking. Your thighs rub together.

“You don’t have to—” you begin.

“I want to.” He cuts you off. “I’d hate it if I were the only one who came. That’s not how I like to end things.”

You take a deep breath, heart racing, body soaked. Your whole lower half is pulsing in time with your heartbeat.

“I want to keep going.” You whisper. “But the girls… they’ll notice if I’m gone too long.”

He frowns. “So?”

You laugh softly. “Kento! If we start getting frisky, I won’t be leaving this bathroom for at least another hour. That’s too long.”

He steps closer, grabs your waist, pulls you against him, his lips against yours. “What’s wrong with that?”

You melt. Full-on melt. He kisses you slow and filthy, like he’s got all night. You feel him harden again, just a little, against your thigh.

“You’re supposed to be the voice of reason.” You break the kiss, panting. “Baby, come on. Save it for later.”

Another kiss. Soft. Lingering. Then another. This one rougher. Your lips are tingling. Your thighs are aching.

“I’m gonna make you cum at least three times before bed tonight. You hear me?”

You grin. “Looking forward to it.”

One last kiss and you’re pulling away, breathless, dress sticking to your ass, hair wild, mouth swollen.

You step out and peek around. All clear. You walk back toward the bar like you didn’t just commit a felony-level blowjob.

And then you see them—The girls. Okay, maybe you were gone a little longer than you thought, because what is this circus?

Jaz is laying flat across the bar counter while a very hot bartender pours tequila straight into her mouth. Tiff and Di are doing synchronized body shots off each other’s thighs. Lex is whispering something dangerous into a guy’s ear who looks like he owns oil. Kaya?

Kaya is making out with some girl in a fishnet bodysuit and laughing between kisses like she knew this woman her whole life.

You blink. “Jesus Christ.”

Nanami appears at your side, cool as ever.

You lean toward him and whisper, “We’re never getting out of here alive.”

Tiff screams at you. “GET OVER HERE BITCH! THE NIGHT AIN’T FUCKIN’! It’s… c’mere!”

Di slurs her speech just as bed, “You look sober as fuck girl! Lemon Drop my bitch!”

Lex looks away from her man, “Listen to your mother! Gedda Lemon Drop!”

Jaz nods, “Two Lemon Drops and a Long Isl- Long I- Long Island… you know what the fuck I’m saying!”

You exhale triumphantly before looking over at Nanami once more. “Kento, please… I beg of you. Look away. I’m about to unleash my inner sorority girl.”

Oh yes. Unleash you did, and due to that, the rest of the night unfolds like a movie montage. Well, if the director was drunk, horny, and armed with a bottle of Patrón and glitter.

1:04 AM — The Takeover

Jaz is still splayed across the bar like a living goddess. Legs crossed, her glittery clutch dangling from one finger as the bartender hooks her up with free liquor. Di is cheering it on.

Tiff has someone’s boyfriend by the collar and is whispering what must be a felony into his ear. The girlfriend doesn't even care. She’s filming.

Lex has somehow negotiated with the DJ to switch up the playlist, and the next thing you know—boom, that causes all of your girls to lose it.

Kaya, now straddling the lap of fishnet girl, looks over her shoulder and shouts, “BITCH IT’S YOUR SONG!”

You scream. “IT’S MY FUCKING SONG!”

Nanami watches from the booth like a man observing a wildfire—detached, impressed, a little concerned for the surrounding property.

1:22 AM — The Dancing Escalates

You’re in it now. You’re in the middle of the dance floor, hips snapping, dress riding high. Your ass finds Kaya, then Di, then you spin and drop it low so hard the floor shakes. A circle forms.

Someone yells “SHE ATE THAT.” Your girls are cheering you on like they’re your biggest fan, and honestly, they might be.

Lex appears with a bottle of champagne and no glasses. She pours it into your mouth.

You choke-laugh and swallow and scream, “Who gave you that?!”

Tiff laughs, “I took it!”

Nanami still hasn’t moved. He’s still in the booth, legs spread, water cup in hand, watching you like a man planning to defile you in twelve different ways. You feel his eyes like hands.

You wink at him.

He raises his glass.

1:38 AM — The Side Quests Begin

Kaya is now kissing two girls and has a third fanning her with a bar napkin. She waves at you mid-kiss like she’s checking in on her table at a restaurant.

Jaz starts playing a game of "Two Truths and a Shot" with a group of Korean tourists. She’s already got one of their numbers. Tiff heckles him.

Di challenges two random men to a body shot competition. She wins by intimidation alone. One man thanks her and immediately follows her around like a lost puppy.

Lex disappears for fifteen minutes and returns with a hookah from God knows where.

“Where did you even find that?” You yell.

“I manifested it!” She replies, exhaling a cloud of cotton candy smoke.

1:55 AM — Chaos Intermission

You all end up on the couches in the lounge section, laughing, sweaty, makeup smudged in the hottest possible way.

Nanami sits among you like a king on his throne, an arm slung over the back of your seat while you curl into him like a little drunk menace.

“Kento thinks we’re crazy!” You whine.

“Not at all.” He says in that smooth-ass voice.

Di kicks her heels up on the table. “She warned you.”

Jaz leans over, steals a sip of your drink, and hands it back with no explanation. “You’re doing great though, king. We like you.”

Tiff raises a toast. “To Nanami, the first man we didn’t threaten with legal action.”

You giggle and nuzzle into his neck. “You’re handling it like a champ.”

He kisses your temple. “I liked this. It was nice.”

You grin. “You mean you like watching me shake ass in public.”

“Correct.”

2:20 AM — Bar-Wide Takeover

At this point, you’ve managed to rope the entire bar into a group dance. The DJ is fully on board. He’s yelling out names. “KAYA ON THE LEFT! DI WITH THE STEP! TELL ‘EM WHO STARTED IT—LAMBDA PHI!!!”

Someone in a button-up and loafers is on all fours letting Lex pour a shot down his back. You don’t even ask.

A bottle of tequila is being passed like communion. You, Tiff, and Jaz do a synchronized slut drop to the beat while the crowd chants like it’s a sport.

Nanami? Back in the booth. Still watching you, but he’s smiling. It’s subtle, slight, but it’s there- and it’s real.

2:48 AM — The Wrap-Up

Everyone is fading.

Kaya’s lipstick is smeared. Jaz is massaging her feet and humming some song from 10 years ago. Tiff is leaning on Di and acting like she’s not tired. Lex is… trying to fight a plant?

You’re back on Nanami’s lap. Dress rumpled, lips swollen, your phone filled with blurry photos and chaotic videos.

You whisper in his ear, “Still wanna ruin me when we get home?”

He presses a kiss to your cheek. “Only if you want to after you sober up.”

You moan softly, then sigh. “Give me like… a Gatorade and a five-minute nap.”

“I don’t know about you bitches, but I could eat right now. I want a burger.” Tiff grumbled with her eyes shut.

There was a communal groan amongst the ladies. Like she said some magical word.

Lex gripped the “neck” of the plant, “Isn’t there some place 24 hours around here?”

You raise your hand, “There’s this place called MooBite. It’s like upscale but for sleazy business men who get drunk too late. It’s like a five minute walk.”

The collective groans make their rounds, but the ladies are on their feet, and everyone is being guided by their leader Nanami.

MooBite Burger & Shake : 3:10am : Roppongi

Sleek black tile floors, chrome counter tops, neon cow mascots giving you a thumbs-up from every direction—it’s ridiculous in the best way. The place smells like fried heaven and desperation. It's late, and it is packed with other drunk people looking for something greasy.

The moment your crew stumbled through the doors—heels clicking, extensions hanging by a thread, lashes halfway unlatched—every head turns. Not because you’re loud but because you look like a photoshoot gone feral.

Nanami is the only one who still looks together. Turtleneck crisp. Coat still pressed. Glasses unbothered. Meanwhile, you’re clutching his hand with glitter on your collarbone and possibly Di’s fake lash stuck to your neck.

After you order, the six of you somehow manage to cram yourselves into a corner booth meant for four, plus one very lucky stockbroker who now has your entire weight on his lap.

You wiggle on top of Nanami with zero shame, your dress halfway up your thighs and your legs hanging off the edge like you’re a baby.

“I swear if I don’t eat a cow in five minutes I will fade from this plane of existence.” You announce.

Kaya’s laying under the table. No explanation.

Jaz is stealing fries off a neighboring table and whispering about some naughty favors she will most certainly not follow through on.

Tiff is trying to do math on how long it’ll take to cook each patty and bring it out.

Thankfully she didn’t have to calculate too long. One of the employees came out with your tray of food and set it on the table.

“I want two double MooBites.” You slur, slapping the table with conviction, “With extra pickles, and if they don’t come with pickles, I will cry.”

“Girl, you already ordered that.” Di mutters. “He’s just dropping off the food.”

You turn to Nanami as you reach to grab a burger for each hand. “Baby don’t judge me.”

He just looks at you like a man in love. “I’m not judging you. You look happy.”

You moan around a mouthful of food. “I’m in love with cheese.”

Jaz looks between you two. “That man is so in love with you. Look at how he’s just letting you chew like that. With your eyes closed. Like a rat in bliss.”

Di nods sagely, dipping her fries in two sauces simultaneously. “He’s not even flinching when she bites into both burgers at once. That’s love.”

You dramatically rest your head on Nanami’s shoulder. “I’m disgusting.”

He gently wipes ketchup from your chin with a napkin. “You’re beautiful.”

“Stop.” You speak with two burgers against your lips. “You can’t be sexy and nice. That’s too much! I’m overwhelmed!”

Lex smiles, “He wipes your chin and eats your pussy. You won.”

Tiff sits up straighter, which is saying a lot. Here she goes again. “So Nanami…has she told you about the candle incident at Duke?”

You freeze mid-bite. “No. NO. NoooOOOooOOoo—”

Nanami tits his head, curious. “Candle incident? Does this have anything to do with the candle loving ex?”

“Ah! You remembered! Yes! She tried to do ‘romantic ambiance’ with dollar store candles in her room. Set off the fire alarm. Whole house had to be evacuated, and we all had to run out as is.”

Jaz jumps in, “She was in lingerie!”

Di nearly choked from the memory, “And barefoot. In the rain.”

“This is the second fire-related story I heard about you.” Nanami looks at you, amused.

You mumble through your bite. “I was young. And horny. And romantic. And shut up Tiff!”

Lex nearly drops her soda laughing. “Tell him about the time you made a PowerPoint presentation on why that one TA should date you.”

“Oh my God.” You groan. “Kento, let me first start by saying it was a dare gone too far.”

Tiff grins. “She called it: ‘Ten Reasons We’d Be Iconic.’ Number 4 was ‘We both like espresso.’”

Nanami chuckles softly, warm hand rubbing your thigh. “You’ve always been this bold?”

You pout. “I thought you’d leave me if you knew I was a disaster.”

He smiles. “ One man’s disaster is another man’s paradise.”

There’s suddenly a collective, “Awwwwww!”

You melt into him like a microwaved marshmallow.

Now Tiff gets serious. She slams her paper cup down, soda sloshing out the top. “Okay. For real though.”

Everyone quiets.

Tiff looks at Nanami with wine-blurred focus. “I like you. But real talk—this is our girl.”

Di nods, mouth full. “Our sister.”

Tiff jabs a fry in the air for emphasis. “She’s loyal. She’s fine as hell. She’s funny. She’s crazy, yeah, but like… in a manageable way.”

Lex raises a brow. “Mostly.”

Tiff waves her off. “You got a good one. A real one. So just like… y’know. Don’t be dumb.”

Lex swirls her milkshake with a straw. “What Tiff is trying to say is—please take care of her.”

Jaz leans in. “This bitch is too strong-willed to admit it, but her heart’s fragile. Like glass. Handle with care.”

You blink rapidly, drunk emotions threatening to pour out your eyeballs. “Awwww. Guys.”

Kaya, who you almost forgot about, speaks from under the table. “We love you, bitch.”

Nanami nods. “I understand, and I will.”

He squeezes your hip, looking around the table. “Thank you for trusting me with her.”

Tiff leans back, satisfied. “Mmmm. Yeah. Okay..”

Jaz frowns, “And if you fuck up?”

Di sucks her teeth, “We have shovels.”

Lex grins, “And legal knowledge.”

You wave your half eaten burgers around, “Okay! That’s enough. He’s not gonna fuck up!”

Nanami whispers, dry. “This is very reassuring.”

You’re full. You’re drunk. You’re in love, and you’re absolutely gonna fuck this man into a oblivion when you get home. But first?

“Anyone wanna split a MooPie?” You lick your lips.

Lex groans. “Bitch you’re a machine.”

Nanami kisses your temple. “She’s alright.”

MooBite Burger & Shake : 4:04am : Roppongi

The greasy-salty joy of MooBite is fading into the haze of soft yawns and leaning heads. Burgers have been demolished. Milkshake cups are empty except for the sad, rattling remains of melted ice and half-hearted whipped cream. Fries are scattered like confetti, and someone—probably Lex—drew a penis in ketchup on a tray.

Everyone is leaning back like they’ve just emerged from battle, and in many ways, they have.

Tiff stretches with a groan. “Shit. We gotta catch the train to Kyoto in like… four hours.”

You blink. Mid-sip of your post-burger soda. “What?! I thought y’all told me to take the next few days off?”

Di shrugs, dabbing her lip with a napkin like she’s at high tea. “Yeah, that was before we met Nanami. Had to make sure the man wasn’t a demon in disguise.”

Tiff flicks a fry at you. “Bitch, our vacation is not about you. You got your own storyline now.”

You laugh, nearly spitting soda. “Okay, okay—but you sure did text me fresh off the plane threatening to ruin my life.”

Jaz waves her hand dismissively. “Kidding! That was obviously a test. Had to rattle the cage a bit. Make sure our girl wasn’t out here cuddling with a serial killer.”

Nanami, calm as ever, simply nods. “Reasonable.”

Tiff smiles, “See?! Look at this rational ass man.”

Lex peers at her phone, squinting. “Shit. Are the trains even running right now?”

Nanami sets down his drink and adjusts his glasses. “I would never let you ladies catch the train at this hour. Let me call a cab for you.”

That’s it. That’s the moment.

Tiff clutches her chest dramatically. “And you said you don’t have a brother, Nanami?!”

Lex points a fry at him. “For real. Don’t be selfish with the DNA. There’s a crisis out here.”

He offers the faintest smile and pulls out his phone to order a car.

Fifteen minutes later, a sleek black cab pulls up to the front of MooBite. The engine purrs like money. The driver steps out, straightens his jacket like he just remembered this might be a high-value transport.

The girls are slow to rise—drunk and full, boots unbuckled and lashes askew—but they’re up.

You hug each one like they’re being deployed. Jaz kisses your cheek, Di bites your ear for some reason, Tiff smacks your ass, and Lex gives you a one-armed hug while texting the entire time.

“Text me when you reach the hotel.” You speak, mom voice on.

“Only if you promise not to die from stockbroker sex.” Jaz slurs.

“No promises.” You shout after her.

Nanami steps forward before they pile in and speaks to the driver in crisp Japanese, low and firm: “Please take care of them. They’re family.”

The girls don’t understand Japanese at all, but they do recognize the word family and they just know he said something sweet.

Tiff peeks her head out of the window, fake crying. “Awwww! NANAMI!”

Di reaches out and grabs your face. “If you dump him, we will exorcise you.”

You wave like you’re seeing them off to college, still giggling, heart warm and full and maybe a little hungover already.

The car pulls off and disappears into the city blur. You exhale, finally.

Nanami presses a soft kiss to the top of your head. “Let’s head home.”

You turn to see Kaya leaning against the MooBite window, still texting, one heel in her hand, hair out of place, face glowing like she just made out with a stranger in a bathroom—which she honestly might have.

Nanami raises an eyebrow. “Kaya. You need a ride home too, right?”

She bats her lashes, mock-sweet. “Oh, I couldn’t ask.”

He levels her with a look that says Don’t even start. “Come on, Kaya. Let’s get you home.”

She clutches her chest and giggles. “Okay, big money. I’m coming.”

You’re howling! What was that?

“Don’t encourage her.” You snicker as Kaya scampers up next to you both, already humming a club remix of a nursery rhyme.

The three of you stroll out toward the street, the wind cool, the night finally catching up to your skin. You’re wrapped in Nanami’s jacket again, arms looped around his waist like a blanket. He’s warm. Solid. Steady.

You peek up at him. “Did you have fun?”

He looks down at you with a soft smile as he rubs your back. “I did.”

You narrow your eyes. “Like… actually fun? You’re not just being nice?”

He gives a soft laugh. “Sweetheart, if I didn’t enjoy myself, I would be honest.”

You smile wider. “So you’re not gonna break up with me?”

He stops walking, pulls you closer, and leans down until his lips are against your temple. “You’d have to leave me first. I’m here. You hear me?”

You lean against him, bury your face in his chest, sighing like you just exhaled every burden you ever carried.

Kaya’s walking ten steps ahead of you like she didn’t just hear the most romantic thing of all time. She shouts, “Can y’all hurry up? I have work tomorrow. Actually, don’t we all have work tomorrow?”

You laugh, hug Nanami tighter, and whisper into his shirt, “Welcome to the madness, baby.”

He smiles, steady and soft. “Wouldn’t want it any other way.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Wanna be tagged? Let me know:

@emoedgylord @enhasrii @totallygyomeiswife @bornconfvsed @wiserebelpartypie

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cbk1000 · 1 year ago

Note

do you have any merlin fic recs?

So I actually just gave several recs to someone last night asking from them in a comment thread on one of my fics. I'm just going to copy and paste that here since it's got all the links. These are all Merthur, M or E-rated.

The (Not So) Misfortunate Adventures of Merlin's Dick...Pic: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1448158 (Merlin accidentally sends a dick pic to Arthur. Short, but funny and cute.)

lady_ragnell has lots of good Merthur fics; two of my favourites are The Future Soon https://archiveofourown.org/works/317838 (While scrying at one of Morgana's dinner parties, Arthur and Merlin see themselves married five years in the future and do everything they can to prevent it. Spoiler alert: they fail.)

No Matter How Far Away You Roam: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1069420 (Arthur asks Merlin to be his fake husband for Christmas with his family.)

But really if you haven't read any of their work, I'd go through their (very large) backlog of fics and pick whatever strikes your fancy. There's another one where they work at a publishing house together and Arthur founds a new imprint of gay romance which he wants Merlin to write for; somehow he manages to miss that he's been living in a gay romance for years: https://archiveofourown.org/works/366393

Gibraltar May Tumble by shes_gone (Reincarnation fic; Merlin moves into a house on the coast which is being haunted by Arthur, a Victorian-era sea captain stuck between life and death.) https://archiveofourown.org/works/562861

Also Can't Buy Me Love by the same author: https://archiveofourown.org/works/372276 (It's a Mad Men AU set in the 60s where they all work at an advertising agency, but you don't have to have watched the show to make sense of it; I've never seen it and still really enjoyed the fic.)

All Bets Are Off by Magnolia822: https://archiveofourown.org/works/523143/chapters/925441 (Arthur bets he can stay in a relationship longer than Merlin can stay single. Of course the bet backfires.)

Where I'm Meant To Be by WhiteRoseCottage: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12911394/chapters/29498163 (Sweet Arthur Returns fic that's just a nice, soft little story about Arthur learning to live in the modern world and these two idiots realising their feelings for one another.)

Fools of Us All by adelagia: https://archiveofourown.org/works/746374 (Merlin accidentally spills a love potion on himself and makes everyone in Camelot fall in love with him. Except Arthur.)

Neither fish nor fowl by the same author: https://archiveofourown.org/works/746395

#fic rec #merthur

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sparkletastic-cookiedough · 11 months ago

Text

When other people recognize the subtle plot points I shove into the background, I get so excited. Like, amazing! You thought about the implications! Have a cookie!!!

Or rather, have an extra update. I thought of the origins of the bracelets slightly differently, so it’s not quite what you expected.

Also, I just realized Nightwing was in the original prompt. Alas, I already marinated this idea in my brain. Too late. Just pretend that he wasn’t there.

That, and sorry it took a while. I’m not a fast writer, and this took me quite some time to make.

//-\\-//-\\

Nightwing watched Constantine exit the League meeting with a passive stare. Really, Dick was holding himself back from outright glaring at the man. They let Constantine, the mess of a conman who has threatened the fabric of the universe as many times as he’s saved it, join the Justice League. Yet Nightwing, a hero with a great success rate, still had yet to get in.

It was probably Batman’s revenge for all the pranks they pulled on the Justice League. Messing with Batman’s coworkers was an unwritten rule of becoming Robin. Even after passing on the mantle, Nightwing still played high frequency audio tones at Green Arrow. It was fun to prank the League.

Damian didn’t quite understand the pranks yet- he kept going a little too far into death threats territory. Thankfully, the presence of Spoiler made up for it. She had once targeted Superman with Hair removal cream in his shampoo. The press in Metropolis had a field day when Superman had to fight Lex Luthor while sporting his bald look. Clark Kent had to write an article about it. Clark was not happy.

Around a minute later, another person exited the meeting room. This time, it was a teenager. Small and lanky, with visible insecurity on his face, the kid had shining white hair that Dick wanted to ruffle.

But what caught Dicks eye the most was the bracelet. Dick remembered that bracelet. Batman had initially created it for him, after all.

“Dick, chum, I made something for you” Batman had said. “I know you’ve been scared that I’m going to disappear on you. And I want to promise you that as long as I can help it, I’ll come home to you.”

Batman gently guided his son’s hand to his chest. “You feel that? That’s my heartbeat. It means that I’m still alive. These bracelets will measure heartbeat. It sends that information to the other bracelet, which will display if you tap, and have an alert if it gets too high or too low. You can always see mine, chum, and I can always see yours.”

Dick put his bracelet on. He smiled. “Thanks, dad” Dick wrapped his father in a hug. “I love you.”

Bruce stood stiffly for a moment, then patted Dick on the back. “I love you too, kiddo.”

Dick smiled at the old memory. The bracelets had since been upgraded, fitted with a tracker, the tech made lighter and more compact, and eventually implanted into their body.

Even Jason, who had his struggles with the family, had an implant. After some long discussions with Bruce, he agreed that his old man at least deserved to know whether or not Jason was alive.

Every Robin had worn the bracelet at one point. Even people who weren’t Robin. Batman had given the Robin bracelet to each member of his family, extended or otherwise. It was a two way security thing.

Nightwing was glad his mask contained a camera. Just by blinking twice, he could snap a picture of whatever he was looking at.

The pic was sent to his communicator, which he then sent to Barbara. She’d inform everyone about the possible new addition to the family.

Dick put his communicator back in his pocket, and went to introduce himself. He didn’t want to scare off the kid, who looked frightened and traumatized already. (He already fit in with the rest of the family).

“Hey, I’m Nightwing.”

//-\\-//-\\

Barbara stared at the transmission from Dick.

Bruce had gotten another one. The glowing kid would fit in nicely with Duke and Claire. They had frequently complained about not having enough people with powers on the team.

Barbara tried to operate a facial scan, only to be met with no results.

Which was concerning. The kind of lifestyle someone has to have in order to appear on no cameras ever would be… disturbing. It pointed to a past like Damian’s, or Kon’s.

“Well shit” Harper said behind her. “Bruce picked up another one?”

Barbara hummed.

“You think he warned this kid about taking the bracelet off?” Harper asked.

When Harper had gotten her bracelet, she had it for two days before taking it off and tinkering with it. Within two minutes, Red Hood had crashed through the window, looked at the situation, and commed over that everything was fine.

Batman still checked on her in person that night. He wrapped her up in his cape, gave her a new bracelet, and made her promise not to take it off again. Harper came back three weeks later with an improved design that was blue and purple, and now included the ability to monitor body temperature.

Barbara thought for a moment, only to send a message to Nightwing. Better safe than sorry.

Then, after considering it for a moment, she hacked into Nightwings camera. She wanted to meet her new family member.

\\-//-\\-//

Nightwing checked his communicator as Barbara sent over a message.

All Seeing Eye: Make sure kid knows about the bracelet, we don’t want another Harper situation.

Nightwing sent back a thumbs up. “Sorry about that, important hero stuff” he said to the teen.

“Don’t worry, I get it. I was a hero in my hometown for a while before…” the teen trailed off, a sad expression on his face.

“Hey, you’re in a safe place now.” Dick rubbed the teens back comfortingly.

“Still can’t believe I’m actually in a space station.” The kid smiled. “Then I look out the window, and there’s the moon, actually.”

Dick blinked twice to capture the smile. He’d put that in his family photo album. “I’ve had tons of missions in space. There’s some pretty incredible stuff out there.”

The kid looked at him with stars in his eyes. “Really? Like what?”

“Let me tell you about the time Starfire and I fought the Space Zebras. It was actually one of our better dates, now that I think about it…”

\\-//-\\-//

Batman took the zeta tube out from the Watchtower. The meeting had taken far longer than he’d planned.

He stepped into the batcave, only to be greeted by more of his family than usual.

Tim was researching ghosts on the Batcomputer. Damian was sparring with Steph. Cass was doing stretches. Duke was watching some sort of video on one of the largest video monitors in the cave. Harper was braiding Barbara’s hair as the two of them watched with Duke. Even Cullen and Alfred were down here, despite not being active in vigilante work most of the time.

“What’s going on?” Batman asked.

“We’re waiting for Danny, of course.” Damian answered without looking away from Steph.

“I already have a room ready” Alfred noted.

Batman was confused for a moment, before remembering the kid that Constantine had brought in. “Danny isn’t coming with us.”

The room became silent. Then everyone started screaming at once.

“Father, what exactly-“

“B, since when-“

“Bruce, don’t try and deny-“

Batman rubbed his temples. “Enough. I can’t answer you when you’re all talking at once.” The room fell silent once more.

It was Duke who spoke up. “You gave him the bracelet.”

“He was worried about his caretaker, and it was interrupting the meeting. I gave him the tools to ease his worries.”

“So no new siblings?” Tim asked.

“Correct.” Bruce nodded at his son.

“Dang. Who’s going to tell Dick?” Barbara asked. Each of his children jumped to touch their nose. They stared at Steph, who was currently pinned beneath Damian.

“No fair, I can’t access my arms.” Damian let her up. “Fine, I’ll do it. But we’re having waffles tomorrow.” She pulled out her communicator.

Alfred made a note of it.

“Whose kid is he then? Wonder woman’s?” Duke asked.

“Constantine’s.” Batman said.

The room erupted into pandemonium once more.

Cass grabbed the communicator from Steph’s hand, and started typing out her own message.

“Cass, what are you-“

She looked Steph in the eye. “New baby brother.”

Each of the kids took a moment to absorb Cass’s words. Suddenly, they all sported the same mischievous grin.

\\-//-\\-//

Nightwing cuddled with his new sibling on the couch.

“Man, I didn’t know Constantine had other kids.” Danny said.

Nightwing froze. “Constantine…?”

Danny nodded. “He’s my guy now, I decided. I wouldn’t normally share, but you’re pretty cool.” Danny snuggled into Dicks chest.

Dick checked his communicator.

Spoiler Warning: Yeah, turns out that the kid isn’t B’s.

Spoiler Warning: False alarm, sorsozkwnsjiz-

Spoiler Warning: New Baby Brother.

Spoiler Warning: Kidnap. Bring to Cave. Cover in Blankets.

Nightwing knew his mission now. “Alright kiddo, it’s getting late, so I’m going to take you home, yeah?”

Danny mmm’d affirmatively. If he wasn’t convinced before, Dick was now. Danny was his new baby brother, and he’d be coming home tonight.

*hisssss* My comfort human!

Nightwing stared, he turned his head staring at Zatanna in a way that clearly spelled the question: Are you seeing what I am seeing?

Zatanna only gave him a shrug with a smile before focusing back on the meeting, leaving Nightwing to turn back and stare. He wasn't the only hero in the room with that reaction. There were a couple others too that reacted similarly. Only Batman appeared to be able to hold his pokerface.

Right before them was Constantine trying to explain to them all how their goverment basically fucked them over, while a 'ghost' teen was clinging to the man's shoulders glaring and hissing at them all. Worst of all Constantine was acting like the kid wasn't even there. Like there was no a white haired, black and white dressed teen hugging the man around his shoulders while glaring at them with glowing Lazarus green eyes.

"Uhm John? What's with the kid?" Green Lantern finally asked interrupting another one of the magicans rants about how screwed they were to which the Brite only glared at the hero.

"Ignore him."

"But..."

"IGNORE him."

"Maybe we should remove the child from this meeting before we continue?" Superman offered good naturally and Constantine looked pretty much done with them all, Nightwing noted. The blond waved with his hand as if telling them to 'go on try it'.

The heroes exchanged glances. Before Superman moved forward reaching out to remove the teen....

...and promptly got bitten. Nightwings eyes widened as he noticed the teen actually broke kryptonian skin!

The teen then proceeded to hiss at them while clutching onto Constantine protectively. The magican only let out a suffering sigh and muttered something about never touching a core again.

"My comfort human! Get your own!"

#Danny is about to be kidnapped so hard #ptsd at a rich fruitloop with a secret basement #only shenanigans can come of this #Alfred doesn’t want Danny to bring his magician in the house #keep that outside thank you very much #i added prompt to your prompt #Constantine is not okay with this situation #Batman isn’t the only one with an adoption addiction #Batman: we can’t keep him he isn’t even human #Steph: neither is jarro

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hereticallyeverafter · 1 year ago

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I don't know if I'm phenomenonally ugly, or lucky, or both, but the whole Man Or Bear scenario is wild to me. I know I'm an outlier, and I'm not trying to discredit or belittle other peoples' experiences, so I believe my experience deserves equal respect too, but we'll see; spoiler alert: I'm not picking the bear lol.

My response depends on the phrasing of the question. Would you rather be in the forest knowing there's a bear in the vicinity, or a strange man? Man, hands down. Humans are stupid, not naturally territorial, fairly easy to shake off your trail versus a territorial, pissed off bear. Would you rather be pursued by a bear in the forest, or by a strange man? Still a man. Another human being is easier to kill. Or barter with. Bears are fast and will kill you dead. Also, how big is the woods?

Like, I get that the principle of the question is to demonstrate that the Monolith of Womankind™️ feel disempowered and predated upon by men, and if that is anyone's experience, I do truly sympathize and wish the best for your healing journey in whatever form that takes. I've just never felt *that* to that extent. I've experienced creepy men, my ex raped me, I've been followed, etc. Oddly enough, I've never gotten a random dick pic 🤔 but whatever. Idk.

And I'm pro-feminism, fuck the patriarchy, etc, but women actually aren't a monolith, and neither are men, and the viral popularity of this question- and the thinkpieces dragging men for being stumped or indignant- is only going to further entrench that binary, monolithic-thinking and build resentment, not just in men, but in feminists like me (ME, ME, glorious me! /jk) who are tired of having to explain that women don't /actually hate men. They just joke that they do. They act like they do, but that's a joke too. People- not just men, not just women- don't change because you didn't whip them hard enisn't.

But it really does feel like the man-bashing has started to blur the line from self-defense, irony, punching up, to just plain meanness and misandry- like, men are still people too. It feels like the reactive cultural shift has gone from "sigh not all men" to "fuck it, yes all men" in the same vein as ACAB meaning "yes all cops", but like, being a cop is a choice, being clocked as a man or being AMAB isnt.

I'm not saying either that men need to be babied. Complaints against creeps- REAL ones, not those fake "entrapment" main character syndrome gym videos- are all valid, sure. But this fake scenario does a bad job at presenting that, imo. Conversely, I do see the introspection on mens' parts, especially in regard to the "Loneliness Epidemic" as necessary even though it's been uncomfortable, and my sympathy does go out to men who genuinely are suffering or are just, like, frustrated, because that's valid too, and men's mental health is also important.

Also, can we just stop coming up with thought exercises that involve animals?! "Would you love me if I was a worm 🥺", "Bear or man?!" Animal-Planet-brain-having-ass 😒

#bear or man #i can hear the pitchforks clanging- reminder that I dont read notes only dms #so if you want to try to excoriate me to my face thats the way to do it #essay #team man #outlier perspective #irl spiders georg dweeb

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chaotic-mage · 5 years ago

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#swd: obey me #swd #swd obey me #shall we date?: obey me #obey me #asmodeus #memes #literally 5 minutes after you get his number #he asks if you know what the 'D' in Devildon stands for #spoiler alert: it's a dick pic

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just-my-type-x · 3 years ago

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"Champagne" - Asher Adams Smut

Small spoiler alert for who hasn't watched All American:This takes place before Asher could no longer play football ! - pic not mine

I wait for Asher to come back from practice and check myself one more time in the mirror. I'm wearing a black lace lingerie and on top of the two pieces, i have a transparent black nightgown that stops right under my ass. I lick my lips as i feel myself and really enjoy what I'm seeing.

This week was pretty rough for Asher, Spencer clouding everything on and off the field, which got him frustrated, so i hope this night will make him feel a little bit better.

I hear the key turn in the lock, the door opening soon after and being closed with a bang.

"It's me, princess!", Asher shouts and i smirk

"I'm in the bedroom, cleaning!", i lie and position myself on the bed, leaning back on my elbows, my legs stretched out on the bed, waiting for Asher to come to the bedroom. I hear his heavy footsteps get closer and i feel butterflies in my stomach because of my impatience to see his reaction. The door handle is turned and he gets inside the room, gym duffle bag falling heavy on the floor, a sweaty and exhausted Asher in front of me.

"Oh, wow, you look amazing..", he licks his lips and closes the door behind him. "Is this how you're cleaning from now on? Because there won't be much cleaning.", he takes off his tank top and throws is somewhere on the floor, while kneeling on the bed. His fingers trace my legs, from my ankles to my thighs, spreading them apart. Asher positions himself between my legs.

"If you enjoy it, then why not?", my voice breaks, as he is very close to my face. Even though we've been dating for a few months now, i still find him intimidating and very, very hot. His nose brushes against mine as he moves me closer to him, his hands grabbing my thighs.

"I love it, babe", Asher leans in and crushes his lips on mine, one hand moving to the beck of my neck, while he leans me all the way on my back. He licks my bottom lip for access and i part my lips enough for his tongue to slip inside. I moan at the warm and wet feeling and he smirks at my action. I bite his bottom lip and his hand finds its way to my core, which he touches through the thin fabric of the underwear. I move my hips against his fingers, trying to earn more friction. "You're so eager", he smirks, his deep voice sending shivers through my body. Asher moves the underwear to the side and inserts one finger inside me. I gasp at the action, but moan when i get used to the feeling.

"More", i beg and he inserts another finger, speeding up. Asher kisses my neck, my collarbone, down my breasts, while his fingers pump in and out of me.

"You're very wet for me", he groans when he starts hearing the wetness at every thrust he makes. He curles his fingers, reaching my g spot with ease. I moan loudly and grab the sheets. Asher chuckles. "Is it that good?", i nod, unable to give him a verbal answer. "Good"

"Nooo", i cry when he takes his fingers out and gets off the bed. I watch him closely, as he takes off his sweatpants, his erection visible through his black boxers. He grabs a condom from the drawer and throws it on the bed. I get up in sitting position and grab him by the band of the boxers, lowering it. His member pops up and i grin at the length of it, pulling down the boxers until they reached his knees. Asher takes them all the way off, kicking them behind him.

"Turn around, please", he motions me with his index finger how to turn and i obey immediately. I hear the wrapper being torn apart and the rubbery protection being unrolled on his dick. Asher teases me with the head, spreading my juices up to my clit, where he drew small circles. I gasp at the feeling, but I'm left again with nothing as he takes it away. Asher positions himself to enter me and i assure him I'm ok with this when he asks if he can start.

His tip gets inside me and slowly, his width stretches me enough for him to get all the way in at once. I groan at the small pain, but brush it away when Asher starts thrusting slowly.

"Fuck, you feel good", he grabs my waist and starts moving me towards him, so the friction becomes more exciting. He moves faster, cursing under his breath.

"That's so amazing, baby", i cry, feeling my orgasm building up and his fingers dig deep into the skin. I feel his movements get sloppier, his breath uneven, but he suddenly stops.

"Champagne", Asher says and slowly exits me.

"Why? What happened? Are you alright?", i jump from my initial position and sit on my knees, while facing him take lff the condom and put it on the wrapper. Champagne is our safe word. It came pretty randomly, we didn't want to use a lame safe word like red, or peach or whatever. We thought that champagne is a good choice and it's still a sexy word, hence the moment we use it in.

"I'm sorry, princess, but my head is in some place else. Oh, God that sounded so wrong", i laugh at his statement and pat the spot next to me on the bed for him to sit on it. He puts his boxers on and gets next to me. "Today was horrible and i am exhausted, not only phisically, but mentally mostly."

"You could've just told me, Ash. What's up?", i move myself under the blanket and he follows me. We turn to the sides to face each other.

"But you looked so good waiting for me like that and you are so sexy, i thought i could push everything away for this moment.", he sighs and i caress his cheek. "Billy makes us work harder as the matches are coming up very soon and he keeps saying we're not ready to beat the other teams up. Plus, he's giving me a really hard time now that Spencer is pretty much his best player. I barely get any recognition, not any of us actually. Jordan was so pissed today after practice. And I'm very stressed Billy might put me on hold or take me out of the team"

"No, never. You're the best player, Ash, along with Jordan and Spencer", i accentuate the word and. "He can't afford to lose any of you, especially you, ok? He would've been nothing without you, he knows it", i give him a smile and a small kiss on his knuckles.

"I hope you're right. But I'm still pissed at Spencer for trying to steal my spot."

"He doesn't want to take anything from you, babe, he told me he's working a way around this whole mess so everyone could be on the field. Now, stop worrying. If you need anything, i can talk to Billy. He owes me a favor since Freshman year when he was supposed to watch for us at a school event and made me cover for him while he left with Jordan and Olivia to watch some football match in downtown LA. ", we both laugh and i pull Asher at my chest, hugging him tightly and kissing his face. " i love you, i love you, iove you, my athletic man ", i kiss him again, this time on the lips and he hugs me by the waist, almost leaving me breathless.

"I love you too, princess. I don't know what i would do without you.", he kisses my chest

"We' re never going to find out, ok?", i cup his face so he would look at me. He nods and i give him a kiss on the forehead.

"I will give you the world. I'm going to work as hard as I can to reach the best of the best. I want to provide for the family as much as i can", he lifts himself to lean on the back board of the bed.

"Family? What family?", i frown at him

"Well, i hope that one day we will have a family of our own. I want to give you and my son the best living, as you deserve it", he kisses the back of my hand and his eyes sparkle with joy

"Who says it's going to be a he? Maybe you're gonna be a girl dad.", i lay myself between his legs, my head on his chest and my arms hugging his muscular body.

"I'm so gonna ace it if she's a girl. I would have a queen and a princess, what's more beautiful than that?", Asher plays with my hair and i feel him smile wildly at the thought of having a family together.

"Shut up, you're making me emotional."

"I love you, princess"

"I love you more"

♥️ @thankfulformystans here's the Asher imagine, hope you liked it ❤️ feel free to request again if you'd like to

#cody christian #asher adams #cody christian imagine #cody christian smut #asher adams imagine #asher adams smut #all american #all american asher adams #cody christian all american

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batfamcraze · 3 years ago

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My Personal Batfamily Headcanons #1 ✨

The kids like to wear fake glasses sometimes in civilian clothing (Dick wears them the most because of Clark)

Besides Ballet being her favourite, Cass likes to practise other dance styles. Contemporary is her 2nd favourite.

Damian likes to draw his family in his sketchbooks. There are pages of mostly his siblings from their hang outs: There’s drawings of Steph giving Tim a haircut, Jason cooking a snack after training, figure drawings of Dick doing yoga, Duke studying for his English test, and more. Damian is very secretive of his sketchbook, his siblings see him scribbling sometimes but don’t try take a peak as they’ve learned their lesson before. One day Alfred was dusting in Damian’s room and saw some of the pages when his sketchbook was open on his bed, he smiled and closed the book.

Barbara is a PC gamer.

Sometimes the kids would join Duke on his morning patrols, to either do cases together or just hang out with him. If they don’t finish a case from the night before, they’ll partner up with Duke the next day.

Jason really likes BatBurger. He always takes the Red Hood meal (Double-stacked BLT burger with diced onions and special bbq sauce) and a cherry-flavoured Mr. Freeze Slushie.

Steph’s blog “Spoiler Alert” is extremely popular. She posts candid pics of the bats and other vigilantes/heroes that show up in Gotham. Sometimes her pictures get shown on the News since paparazzi have a hard time getting good ones. Tim is her co-photographer. Steph also treats her blog like a twitter diary.

Check out Parts 2 and 3!

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two-gays-in-a-trenchcoat · 3 years ago

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Half-Incubus!Tendou x Monster Hunter!Reader (part 1)

Part 1 of what I hope to become a short series, and the prologue for my previous touch-starved Tendou fic. Spoiler alert: he’s still touch-starved and needs cuddles but this time he’s gonna be a bitchboy about it -Osa

3.6k

It had been a while since you had gone to a party.

The speakers’ bass was drumming so loud you could feel the vibrations through the soles of your shoes, thrumming in your ears and rattling your brain. Inside, the air was thick and hot and smelled like sweat and booze. The lights were dimmed and multicolored LEDs lit up most of the house. As soon as you stepped in, you felt like turning on your heel and walking back out.

“Hey, you made it!” A slurring, cheerful voice greeted you, along with a heavy arm slung around your shoulder which almost made you buckle under it. You recognized the flushed face of Terushima, slicked back hair tousled around his antlers. “I was hoping you’d coooome,” he sang.

You grimaced, and tried to move out from under his arm, but he stuck to you like gum on the bottom of a shoe.

“Want a drink?” He asked. “We got a lot.”

“I’m fine.” I should have left when I had the chance.

You didn’t know half of the people here; you’d hoped to meet up with Motoya or at least Fukunaga, but neither the peppy kitsune nor the awkward kappa were anywhere to be seen. You were trying to shove the drunk jackalope hybrid off of your shoulder, when his weight was suddenly removed.

It was a tall, lanky high schooler who had peeled him from you, looking as pissed as you had ever seen anyone. From what you could tell, he was human. His voice had falsely sweet venom to them. “Don’t you have other places to be?”

Terushima didn’t seem to notice the edge to his words, and he grinned stupidly up at him. “Semiiiii, I was wondering where you’d gone.”

The tall boy—Semi?—leaned down next to Terushima and whispered something indistinguishable in his ear. At once, Terushima’s eyes widened, seeming to glass over, and he couldn’t stumble out of the room fast enough.

Semi turned to you. You noticed his hair was bleached to a warm, dusky ash-blonde, and his eyes were sharp. “You good?”

“Yeah, thanks,” you said. “What did you say to him?

He ignored your question. “Aren’t you the new kid?”

You corrected him with your actual name, followed by, “And yes, I am.”

He smiled in amusement, and offered his fist for you to bump. “Semi. Cool to meet you.”

“You too,” you said. “So, are you gonna tell me what you said to make him leave so quickly?”

He smirked. “A magician never reveals his secrets.”

You looked him in the eyes, deadpan.

“Alright, if you really want to know…” He leaned in closer to you and whispered, “I threatened to leak his dick pics.”

A lie. You could tell. One of the few helpful gifts your monster-hunter ancestry had left you is the ability to tell when people are lying. It wasn’t magic, per se; it was more of a hypersensitivity, a trait made possible by your heightened senses. At any given moment, your brain was subconsciously noting every single detail around you, picking apart every change in your environment, analyzing anyone you came in contact with, dissecting tone and body language. And when you focused, you could read people like an open book. In the past, this would make you an expert tracker, a master of survival. But in the modern world, it aids you in different ways.

“It’s just about as close to mind reading you can get without magic,” your father had told you.

So you looked at Semi, expression flat, and bluntly said, “If you’re going to tell me anything, tell the truth.”

He seemed caught off guard that you had called his bluff so quickly, but regained his composure. He grinned at you.

“Too obvious? Alright, well, here’s the truth,” he paused for a moment. “I’m a siren.”

Your eyes widened. You’d only met one siren before in your life, in your middle school, and she had been a total bitch to you. She’d use her powers, her singing voice like puppet strings, to make you carry her things or just outright humiliate you. She didn’t stop until she found out that you were a hunter.

“Don’t worry, if you’re not a sleazebag like Terushima, you’re safe from my powers,” he said.

“I take it you’re not friends,” You guessed.

“Oh, we are friends, actually,” Semi replied. “I’m just, y’know, not blind.”

You snorted at this, which seemed to satisfy him.

“Wanna grab a drink with me, new kid?” he asked. “There are non-alcoholic options as well.”

Your first instinct was to say no; you never made it a habit to go anywhere with a person you just met. But there was an ease about Semi, and it made you feel comforted amongst the pressing of the party going on around you. So you nodded, and let him lead you over to the kitchen.

He waggled a bottle at you. “Sprite?”

“Why not.” You caught it with ease as he threw it at you, cracking the seal and taking a small sip. He grabbed one for himself as well.

“Y’know, if you wanted to leave, I wouldn’t blame you,” he said. “Terushima’s house parties are… An acquired taste.”

“I thought about it, honestly,” you said. “But I don’t know if dipping from the party after five minutes of being here would exactly help my social life.”

“Cheers to that.” He swirled his Sprite around in the bottle. “But, hey, if you need someone to chill with at school, you’re welcome to join me.”

Your heart swelled. “Really?” Maybe I would make friends at this new school, after all.

“Why not?” Semi said. “I don’t really stick to one group, anyways. Kind of a floater.”

You nodded. “Yeah, I was like that at my old school, too.”

He took a swig from his bottle. “Don’t worry, I’ll show you the ins and outs of Lyonell high.”

Someone called Semi’s name from the other room. He sighed. “It’s probably Taichi. I’ll catch you later, yeah?”

You nodded. “Yeah. Thanks. For, uh…. Yeah”

“You don’t need to thank me for anything,” he said, shrugging. “You’re pretty cool.”

You gave him a half smile as he disappeared into the other room, which dropped as soon as you left. You leaned against the counter, sipping your sprite. Alone. The thought almost made you laugh; you were sure you looked as pathetic as you felt.

“Don’t like parties?” A sultry voice hummed in your ear.

You jumped back, only to see a tall, gangly boy with bright red hair and skin so pale you thought for a second that he must be a vampire. You vaguely recognized him; you’d seen him around at school, always lurking in corners, never with anyone else. He blinked at you, bow-like lips curving into a vaguely interested smirk.

“Didn’t mean to scare you,” he chuckled.

“Yeah, well, you did,” you huffed.

He tilted his head, mock-pouting. “I’m sorry.”

You looked away, deciding to ignore the boy in favor of your Sprite. You could feel him shift, and he leaned down to peer at you directly in front of your face.

“You’re new here, right?” He asked.

“Yeah,” you replied. “My name is-”

“Oh, I already know your name,” he cut you off. “The rest of the school can’t shut up about it.” He blinked at me. “I’m Satori, by the way, but most people call me Tendou.”

From this angle, there was no way you couldn’t meet his gaze. His eyes were heavily hooded and a searing red, almost the same color as his hair. There was something sharp about them, but not aggressive. Just intense.

You kind of liked it.

“So,” he continued, “why come to a party if you’re going to sit around in a corner being sad?”

“I’m not sad,” you said. “I’m just bored. And hey, you’re over here, too, so you can’t talk.”

He hummed. “Ah, but you see, the only reason I came over here is because I saw you.”

He stepped back at this, so he was fully facing you and you could get a clear view of him. He towered over you easily despite being slouched, and his baggy black T-shirt hung loosely on his slim frame. He had a few necklaces, chains and such, as well as pierced ears. The whole time you glossed him over, he never stopped looking at you. It was like you were his whole focus, like you were a puzzle he was trying to solve by looking at. Not that you were complaining; you found that you rather enjoyed being looked at by him. Despite having just met him a moment ago, you couldn’t help but feel attracted to him, a kind of magnetic pull.

Almost as if he could sense your thoughts, he offered you his hand, and inclined his head in the direction of the other room, where the real partying was going on.

“C’mon,” he said. “The new kid can have a little fun, yeah?”

Against your better judgement, you let him lead you into the other room. You could feel the temperature change, rise as there were more bodies packed together, drinking and laughing, swaying and bouncing along with the beat of the music. Tendou blended into the crowd easily, like it was natural for him. It was his kind of scene.

In the corner, you spotted Semi, supporting the weight of a red-headed Tanuki boy who you could only assume to be Taichi. He was a little out of it, wobbly and barely able to hold himself up, and Semi seemed to have his hands full.

In the kitchen, the music had been a dull thudding seeping through the walls. But here, at the center of its source, it was loud, seeming to drown all of your senses in it.

Tendou pulled you into him, urging you to dance. His body moved easily to the rhythm, loose and comfortable in the overwhelming atmosphere. He was grinning, and you could see the glint of it even under the dim lighting. His enthusiasm was contagious; you couldn’t help but dance along to the song a bit, an act which made Tendou grin even wider.

At some point, he had pulled you flush against him, and your faces were so close together that you could feel his hot breath fan across your cheeks. It was like an electric spark between you, something so high and full of tension that neither of you could pull away from. He began to lean down.

You suddenly felt a cold splash on your back that ran down your shirt. You yelped, and whirled around to see a very tipsy Terushima holding a red solo cup. He at least had the decency to look ashamed, eyes wide.

“Shit, I’m sorry, I didn’t see you,” he said. He was unsteady on his feet, the remnants of his drink sloshing about in the cup. You were quick to snatch it from his hand.

“I think you’ve had enough for one night,” you growled, turning on your heel and walking out. You deposited the cup on the kitchen counter, and went upstairs to where you hoped a bathroom would be.

Your back was sticky and smelled sour, and you were muttering curses under your breath as you trudged upstairs. The bathroom was directly across the hall, and you all but dove in, slamming the door behind you.

You took in heaving breaths. You felt so overwhelmed, so out of place, like you were forcing yourself to be someone you’re not. Everything was so much, too much, you felt suffocated. This feeling had been building up all day, you realized, and Terushima spilling his drink on you was just the tipping point.

You looked in the mirror. It was someone you didn’t recognize, hair tousled and face pale. It looked like a stranger. You turned around to see the reflection of where the drink had spilled. It was a cherry red, and ran down your back and even onto the waistband of your pants. It was definitely going to stain. You scowled.

There was a knock at the door, a pause, followed by a hesitant calling of your name.

“Yeah,” I said dryly.

The door cracked open to reveal Tendou, the grin wiped from his face and the enthusiasm drained from his piercing eyes. He just looked plain worried.

“You good?” he asked. “Can I come in?”

You nodded, turning back to face the mirror. Tendou caught a glimpse at the wide stain on your back and grimaced.

“Y’know, Teru’s always been one of those guys that talks big but really can’t hold his liquor,” Tendou remarked as he let himself in. In his left hand he was carrying a mustard-yellow T shirt. He saw that you had spotted it, and offered it out.

“Figured you didn’t have a change of clothes,” he said. “I’m hoping it’ll work.”

You took it. The material was soft and pliable from being worn, the printing on it faded. You snorted as you realized it had a printing of the periodic table.

“Is this yours?” You asked.

He shook his head. “Teru’s.”

You raised a brow at him. “He gave it to you?”

“Well…,” Tendou said, a hint of mischief in his voice. “Not exactly.”

“So you stole it,” you stated rather than asked.

“I didn’t steal it,” he corrected. “I borrowed it. For you. It’s the least he could do to make up for it.”

You chuckled. “Yeah, okay, that’s true.”

He gestured to the shirt. “Go ahead and get cleaned up.” He then turned to go back downstairs, shutting the door behind him.

After peeling your shirt from your skin, you wiped the stickiness off with a wet washcloth, and pulled the T-shirt over your head. You balled up your soiled shirt and tucked it under your arm.

When you opened the door again, you were surprised to see Tendou still there, leaning up against the stairway railing.

He offered a smile. “I guess it fits?”

“It’s a little big,” you said. “But yeah, it works.”

His long arms were crossed over his chest, and as he dissected you with his eyes, his brow creased. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

You shrugged, tucking a stray strand of hair behind your ears. You debated telling him, letting him have a peek into your mind. But some part of you still wanted to stay guarded.

“A little overwhelmed, I guess.” You settled on a half-truth.

“Are you coming back downstairs anytime soon?” he asked.

You shook your head. “Probably not. But you can go ahead.”

“Nah,” he said. “Parties like this are kinda’ lame anyways.”

For a moment, neither of you said or did anything. Tendou then stood up straight and started heading down the hall, pausing to look back and see if you were coming with him. You hesitated.

“Relax,” he hummed. “I know a spot where you can calm down.”

You let him lead you into one of the bedrooms. You paused at the doorway, wondering just where he was going with this, but he didn’t look back as he hefted the window open. Nimbly, he hopped up and pulled himself through, pausing on the sill.

“You coming?” He asked. “Teru’s roof has a pretty sweet view.”

You said nothing as you approached. He got himself all the way out, landing on the roof that started a few feet below the sill. He offered a hand to you, and although you were perfectly capable of getting yourself up there on your own, you decided to humor him and take it.

The September night air was sweet, cool, and most importantly, quiet. The booming bass of the party downstairs was a distant memory as you stepped out onto the roof. You two sat down against the scratching roofing, but you didn’t mind. You were still holding hands from before, but neither of you made any move to pull away.

He smirked. “Told you.”

He had been right; the view really was great. You could see the lights of the city below you from where Terushima’s house sat on a hill. You couldn’t see many stars because of the light pollution, but with how pretty the city was, you couldn’t find it in yourself to care.

You could feel Tendou wordlessly lean into you. He was warm, solid, comforting. You found yourself untangling your hand from his and instead snaking an arm around his waist. He tensed for a moment, as if he hadn’t been expecting you to touch him first, before relaxing and letting his head fall against your shoulder.

“This is nice,” he breathed.

You simply hummed in response. Your hand danced up and down his side, an innocent exploration. He jolted ever so slightly as your hand brushed against his shoulder blade. You traced your fingers higher, skimming along the searing skin of his milky neck until you raked them up from the bottom of his hair, brushing through.

You heard a sharp intake of breath from him, before he sighed contentedly, letting your fingers gently scrape against his scalp. His hair was stiff and crunchy from the product he put in it, but if you were messing it up, he didn’t say anything.

The two of you stayed on the roof like that for what seemed like forever, saying nothing but feeling everything. He had shifted to sit between your legs, reclined with his back facing you, head resting on your chest. When you stole a glimpse down at him, you saw that his eyelids had fluttered shut.

As if he could feel your gaze upon him, he lazily cracked his eyes open, staring catishly at you.

“I think you were right,” you said.

Saying nothing, he hefted himself up from your lap to face you, never breaking eye contact. He got close again, foreheads almost pressed together, breaths in the fresh night air mixing together.

And then he was kissing you.

It was warm and wet, but not heavy. His lips were slow, practiced, knowing how to mold into yours in just the right way. You kissed him back, cupping his face in your hands. His tongue slid out for a moment, making contact with yours in between your mouths pressing together, and then he pulled away.

“I’m getting a little cold,” he said. “Wanna head back down?”

You haphazardly slipped through the window, and followed Tendou downstairs.

The party had died down a bit, but not by much. You could spot a couple passed out on the couch, and a few small groups talking and laughing rather than a crowd of everyone dancing together. Someone had turned the music down—thank God—and although it still smelled like a teenage party, it felt somehow a little more bearable.

When you got to the bottom of the stairs, Tendou turned to you.

“That was nice,” he said. “Really nice. But I don’t want you getting the wrong idea; I don’t wanna, like… start anything. Romantically. It’s not really how I roll. I’d rather stay just friends, y’know?”

As soon as the words ‘just friends’ left his mouth, you knew it was a lie. You could see it in the blinking of his eyes, the slight twitch of the corners of his mouth, the tilt of his shoulders.

But you didn’t call him out on it. Instead, you said, “Just friends it is, then.”

And then you let him walk away, believing that you had bought his lie, that you were completely oblivious about his attraction to you

Commissions open! Check out my page for details :)

#tendou #tendou x reader #tendou fluff #fluffy #reader insert #gender neutral reader #tendou x you #slight angst #haikyuu #hq x reader #hq #cute #soft #touch starved tendou #tendou being a little bitchboy #terushima yūji #tendou satori #tendou satori x reader #scenarios

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bb-basbusa · 5 years ago

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Marinette biodaughter of Bruce Wayne

This au was inspired by @ozmav maribat au.

· Bruce met Sabine when he was training in with the league of assassins

Sabine was the top assassin of the league. Highly respected by Ra's Al Ghoul and the rival of lady Shiva.

· At first Bruce and Sabine disliked each other due to their different codes of ethics, but they slowly came to respect each other and even considering each other friends.

Sabine started questioning the league and started to despise their needless killing, even came to regret killing in some missions in the name of the league.

· With Bruce's influence and help she decides to leave the league of assassins and turn on a new leaf.

· Of course, Ra's refuses to let go of his top assassin, so he makes a deal with her. He gives Sabine an extremely difficult, almost impossible to complete alone with no help. (this is basically John Wick).

· She agrees, Bruce tries to talk her out of it. The mission is just impossible and there is an extremely high probability that she will die.

· This leads both to fight both verbally and physically.

· It ends with a one-night stand.

· Both agree not to talk about it, and both leave on bad terms

· Sabine leaves to complete the mission, during this time Bruce completes his training and leaves the league.

· Sabine of course completes the mission, much to ra's complete surprise.

· He is a man of his word and lets Sabine go with a promise to not seek her out again or interfere with her life and those around her.

· Few weeks later, Sabine discovers that she is pregnant with Bruce's child. And since she an Bruce's friendship ends on bad terms (with Bruce being an emotionally constipated man, who at this point of his life only think about his mission and wouldn't make a good father) Sabine decides not to tell him.

· Sabine travels for a little bit until she arrives in Paris where she meets Tom.

· With time they both fall in love with Tom promising to love her and her unborn child as his own.

· When Marinette is born, Tom officially adopts her as his daughter.

· Marinette grew up loved from her parents and had a normal happy childhood.

· Though Sabine did teach her self-defense because you can't bee to careful.

· When Marinette was ten years old, she meets Damian Wayne. He was separated from his guardian and got lost.

· Marinette offered to help him, but Damian at this point of his life was a little shit and refused. Too proud to even admit he was lost.

· But Marinette was not deterred, and with great determination, kindness, and whining, she was able to make him cave.

· She shows him the way back to his hotel, and saw Dick waiting outside worried out of his mind.

· He saw Damian approaching and immediately ran towards the kids and scooped the baby assassin into a hug.

· " Dami, I was so worried"

· "cease your embarrassing antics Grayson, I am clearly in perfect shape. As if anything in this miserable city can harm me"

· "hey, Paris is amazing. You take that back" shrieked Marinette

· Only then does Dick notice a petite Asian girl glaring at Damian.

· "well hello, who might you be?"

· "I'm Marinette, I helped him find the hotel. He was lost" came the smugly reply

· "I wasn’t lost you imbecile, I didn't require any assistance from you. I just "accepted your help" because you were annoying and couldn't shut up"

· This basically started a shouting match between Marinette and Damian, while Dick observed with amusement.

· He never seen Damian act like a child since he came to his care (Bruce is lost in time at this point, and Dick is Damián's legal guardian) and started to thick that hanging around Marinette may benefit Damian.

· He invites Marinette to the local park, where Titus can stretch his legs, an takes her there with her parents' permeation of course.

· Over the next few days Dick invites Marinette to come with him and Damian (much to the latter's chagrin) whenever they have free time.

· The kids' relationship only started to improve after Marinette helped Damian take down Chloe, who was acting as her glorious bratty self.

· It involved headbands, tooth pics, and a lipstick

· Damián started to respect Marinette and enjoy her company after that (though he won't admit it)

· Marinette starts talking about her friend at home, while her parents listens with amusement until she mentions his full name Damian Wayne.

· Sabine immediately starts asking about his father.

· At first Sabine wanted Marinette to stay away from the Waynes, but seeing how happy her Daughter is, she decided against it.

· Fearing that both kids with time would develop feeling for their unknown half sibling, she calls Dick and tells him about Marinette's parentage.

· Dick doesn't believe this, so Sabine gives him permission to perform a DNA test.

· The test was done, Dick was not amused because damn it Bruce another one

· They both decided to tell the Kids about their blood relationship

· Damian was furious and didn't accept this, at this point of his life he thought he was the blood so of Batman and no one else

· He ended saying some hurtful thing words towards Marinette

· Marinette ends up crying, and runs out of the room

· Damian is immediately consumed by guilt, especially after Dick gives him the "I am very disappointed in you" look.

· He goes to Marinette's room to apologies and hears her crying through the door and feels even worse.

· It takes a lot of him since he never apologized to anyone before, he does it but awkwardly.

· Marinette forgives him because she is a forgiving person and asks Damian not to say stuff like that to her again.

· They become close after that. They exchange numbers and e-mails to talk to each other when Damian and Dick return to Gotham.

· Tom and Sabine are great influence over Damian. With the Dupain-chengs he starts to act more like a boy and less like the heir to the league of assassins. Dick is very happy and grateful about it.

· The couple also parent Dick and coddles him. Both boys are adopted to the family now.

· In Summer Marinette visits Gotham and meets Alfred. The butler grew quite fond of her.

· She may strongly resemble Sabine, but Alfred can see Martha Wayne in her smile. A little of Thomas Wayne in the twinkle of her eyes. And a lot of Bruce when she is concentrating on something.

· Marinette also inherited Bruce's intelligence, so she quickly discovers the family's secret.

· She joins the boys in their training, because extra self-defense lessons can't hurt, but not on petrol. Sabine was very against it.

· Dick introduces her to trapeze, which she fell in love with, together they are the acrobat duo.

· So she spars with the boys, flies with Dick, bakes and cooks with Alfred (" I am pleased to know that at least one Wayne will grow to be a functioning adult". "Alfred please.STAHP")

· And once she is introduced to the girls ("she is so cute" "stop squealing fat girl") she'll hack with Barbra, dance with Cass, and will have a girl's night out with all her older sisters especially Steph.

· Jason meets her after he comes to the cave to use the bat-computer, then out of nowhere a petite Asian girl pops out and offers him cookies.

· "I only known Marinette for five minutes, but if anything happens to her I'll kill everybody in this cave then myself"

· Jason and Damian start fighting for the position of favorite brother.

· Months passes and Marinette grows closer to all the bat-family except Tim, because he is still looking for Bruce and didn't keep tabs on what's happening in Gotham lately.

· The Dupain-Chengs adopts the rest of the Bat-family except Alfred. Alfred adopts you, you do not adopt him.

· The family becomes closer and the communication problem is slowly fixed.

· Jason becomes more open. He and Dick talk about their issues, there was shouting, yelling, accusations and tears. But in the end, it was better. Not perfect but better.

· Also, Jason finally has healthy positive parental figures in his life. "have you been eating?" "I'm proud of you son" "we love you" and other words were spoken towards Jason and the kids.

· "o-okay" he chocks on tears.

· Alfred later introduces the Dupain-chengs to Ma and Pa Kent and joins the " the gathering of family member of heroes, who have more common sense than the heroes"

· Basically, the family members of heroes meet up monthly for brunch to bitch about their hero family member, while trading recipes and baby photos.

· Alfred is the founder. Ma Kent is the president.

· Bruce comes back and everyone is happy. No one tells him about Marinette. They all decide to troll him.

· Marinette and Bruce accidently meet in the cave.

· "Papa' it's good to have you back" Marinette happily hugs Bruce

· Bruce is holding his arms awkwardly in the air, while looking down at Marinette with confusion. "who are you?!"

· "it's me Marinette, don't you remember me" insert fake tears

· "A-ahh?!"

· "Alfred Papa doesn't remember me" she wails dramatically into the butler's chest "he forgotten all about me"

· " Honestly master Bruce, I raised you better than this. Yet here you are disowning your own daughter.

· "yeah, shame on you B" came the eager response from Steph and Jason.

· " I am disappointed in you father" Damian joins in. Cass nods in agreement.

· Dick is struggling to keep his poker face intact, Barbra is pinching his arm hard to keep him away from laughing and exposing the prank.

· Tim is sleep deprived and confused as hell.

· The family takes bets to see when would Bruce figure out they're trolling him.

· Spoilers alert he never does

· They end up telling him and Alfred wins the pot.

· "World's greatest detective indeed"

· "alright I get it Alfred"

· Bruce ends up adoring Marinette. He and Sabine talk again after a decade of not talking and becomes somewhat friends

· He doesn't publicly announce Marinette as his daughter and doesn't claim her, because Tom is her father as well. And it won't be fair to him.

· She may have Bruce's blood, but the heart is all Tom. He is grateful that his daughter grew up loved. He doesn’t want to take Tom away from her.

· When she became Ladybug, she immediately tells her family. They're all freak out about 13 years old being a hero on her own.

· " you need a partner"

· "Papa chat noir is my partner"

· "Dick go to Paris"

· Due to the bat-family involvement, hawkmoth is defeated fast. And he is spending the rest of his life in jail.

· Adrien goes to live with his aunt in England for a while.

· Zatanna and Constantine are called to see if they can wake Emilie from her magic induced coma.

· They do. And Adrien goes back to his mom

· Hawkmoth civilian identity was never outed to the public. The justice league wanted to give the Agrestes some privacy. But there are some conspiracy theories.

· Due to the influence of her older sisters, Marinette isn't as boy crazy as in the show. But she develops an innocent crush on both Adrien and Luka. Much to Bruce's chagrin

· "you won't start dating until your thirty"

· "of course papa, of course"

· Keeping Marinette away from dating was the toughest battle Bruce ever fought. The rest of the family are just sitting behind and enjoying the show

· Her wasn't the most normal or perfect, but Marinette loves it any way.

#maribat au #my writing #bb-basbusa #Bruce Wayne is a good father but a bit helpless #Damian and Marinette are bros

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coffee-chaos · 5 years ago

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@mollyinthewater you made me rethink life choices and idk what to do with this information but here's my top 10 Gavin Reed things I've done (at work)

- Had 8 cups of coffee; asked my fren how much she thought I've had and got way unhealthy flattered when she said 15; so I went for another one.

- Started a Gay chat🌈

- Read BDSM smut during business meeting.

- Hid under a table so an annoying colleague wouldn't find me.

- Showed romantic memes & cat pics to a fren when she was stressed & sad.

- Said 'thanks for tolerating me' way too often.

- Complained about stuff and ran away when my colleague tried to forward her therapist contacts.

- Worked anywhere but my desk & rushed between office rooms procrastinating and making others procrastinate.

- Laughed so hard at a meme song I got stomach cramps and cried; also HR manager came up to ask to stay quiet, spoiler alert: I didn't.

- Made dick drawings; now this thing is adopted by 60% of the office; dicks are all different and nice and make me proud, the last one had a suit and a hat.

- Stole food, cigarettes and office supplies, and coworkers' chair (temporarily).

- Worked for 10-15 hours a day for months with no weekends; that's my fav, cause no fucking matter what idiocy I get involved and drag others to, I always get shit done.

- Screamed.

Now share yours ❤️

#dbh #detroit: become human #gavin reed #at least now i get why I'm so attached to that character #i have no shame #but I'm sorry if i annoy you too much #idk how to make frens #im hiding now

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vikingpoteto · 5 years ago

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Red Robin under the spotlight

Read on AO3

______________________

Relationships: GEN. Tim Drake & Jason Todd, Stephanie Brown & Tim Drake

Summary: Red Robin and Red hood are basically urban legends, no one is sure they're real. That is, until there is a picture of the two of them grinning at each other on Gotham Gazette's front page.

________________________

Tim Drake is having… a day.

Stuck in his office for the afternoon, he is praying for nightime to come soon so he can put on his suit and vent his frustration by beating up some unsuspecting criminal. He’d known being a CEO wasn’t particularly fun, but he didn’t expect the board of directors to be babies for so long.

He skims his proposal for what feels like the hundredth time unsure of how to make it clearer that that is the best course of action for their investments. The fact that he is only 18 should not trump his very solid, data-based arguments.

So he’s already in a bad mood and praying for a distraction when his office door swings open and Tam Fox storms in.

“Timothy!” she shouts.

He feels like he's about to learn he should be careful with what he wishes.

“Hey, Tam, I missed you too?” He tries.

Behind her, his secretary makes a helpless gesture as if trying to communicate she tried to stop Tam. Tim gives the woman a tired smile and makes a dismissive gesture.

Ignoring that, Tam slams the door closed and repeats for emphasis: “Timothy.” She pushes an iPad into Tim’s chest. “What is the meaning of this?”

Raising an eyebrow, he takes the iPad and looks at the screen, noticing he’s staring at a Gotham Gazette article and… Tim’s heart stops.

The headline screaming at his face says RED DYNAMIC DUO? by Vicki Vale and beneath it…

“Oh god,” Tim whimpers.

Beneath the headline there’s a picture of him and the Red Hood.

Or, well, Red Robin and Red Hood. They’re sitting on the fire escape of one of the abandoned buildings in Jason’s territory and both are seemingly at ease. Too at ease. There are two BatBurger bags at their side and their fingers are intertwined. Red Robin is staring at their joined hands with a wide smile. Fucking hell. Tim always makes a point of never smiling in front of anyone when he’s in his suit, he has a reputation to protect. He doesn’t know if it’s better or worse that Red Hood isn’t wearing his helmet, because it emans his open grin is visible as well - and thank god Jason has the habit of wearing a domino under his helmet.

Who the hell took that picture? How the hell did they go unnoticed by both Tim and Jason?

He then starts reading the article, every word feeling like a punch to the gut.

Gotham City has seen its share of vigilantes over the years and, unlike public figures such as Superman, they prefer to keep to themselves, making many people wonder whether they’re even human. As a shot captured by an amateur photographer that chose to remain anonymous, we find out at least a pair of the many Gotham “heroes” are closer to us than we thought.

The vigilante known as Red Robin Gotham's patheon of heroes a couple of months ago and little is known about him. He’s been seen working with the likes of Batman, Robin and even Batgirl, making us all think he’s one of the good guys. It seems like Red Robin’s circle of friendships doesn’t include only Justice League members, though.

The Red Hood, the man so tenderly smiling at Red Robin, is a notorious mob boss whose territory's size, GCPD especulates, rivals Black Mask’s. Red Hood wanders between both criminal activities and a violent brand of justice and, while he's been seen working side-by-side with heroes like Nightwing, a hero that since has only been seen in Bludhaven, no one can claim to have seen the Red Hood so comfortable around one of the bats of Gotham

The two young men were pictured in a tender moment. Could this mean that Red Robin is straying towards villany? Is the Red Hood is considering changing his ways? Or, perhaps, are we facing a pair of starcrossed lovers, separated by different set of morals, but still unable to stay away from one another?

Tim makes an inhumane sound. The words star crossed lovers jump from the screen, burning his eyes and making him wish he was going over a dumb business proposal still.

“Well?” Tam demands. “What is that, Tim?”

“I don’t know, Tam,” he answers, his voice weak. “What on earth- How the hell… Oh, god .”

“Why were you hanging out with the Red Hood?”

“Stakeout,” Tim says simply.

“Why were you on a stakeout with the freaking Red Hood?”

At that, Tim recovers enough to feel a bit miffed. That’s the same tone she had last year when Tim was working with assassins and he gets offended on his brother’s behalf. Even if, you know, said brother had also been somewhat related to the assassins in question. In the past.

“Hey, Hood is not as bad as the news make him look. Sure, he’s not exactly clean, but he’s a valuable undercover agent and…”

Tam makes sounds of a woman whose white Valentino bag had liquid lipstick spilled in. “Does that mean you are dating the Red Hood?”

“What? NO!”

Tim pinches the bridge of his nose. God, what a mess.

“He’s my brother,” he says.

Tam looks like she goes through the 7 stages of grief in a very short time and, honestly, Tim feels for her. He likes Tam a lot. She is smart and strong and the poor girl has had to deal with so much since she and Tim became friends.

“Are you telling me… that Dick Grayson…”

“No, Dick’s not the Red Hood.”

She stares at the picture again and then at him. “This isn’t Duke or Damian, Tim.”

“You’re right. It’s a long story. I can’t tell you, though. I trust you but Hood’s identity isn’t my secret to share.”

Tam closes her eyes and breathes in and out slowly. After all the crap she had to deal as one of Red Robin’s friends, a stranged brother that happened to be a crime lord (an anti-hero, really) wasn’t that far fetched. She didn’t know much about the Drakes because Tim didn’t talked about them, so, for all she knows, Red Hood could be Jack’s or Janet’s bastard child. Although Tim can figure her theories, he doesn’t try to explain anything. Whatever she works out is better than letting her know Red Hood is Bruce Wayne’s son brought back from the dead.

“Fine. You’re not dating a criminal. You’re a criminal’s brother.”

“I mean… if you think about it, I’m a criminal too.” He smiles sheepishly under her glare. “Being a vigilante isn’t exactly something I can put on my resume.”

Shaking her head, Tam checks the picture again. “What were you even doing? Because it looks like you’re holding hands and finding it hilarious.”

“We… hm. We were thumb wrestling.”

She stares at him, her expression empty of any emotion. Tim cringes.

“Look, not everything is death traps and high risks, alright? Sometimes stakeouts get boring!”

“You were laughing your head off because you were having a thumb war with the Red Hood,” Tam deadpans.

“Hm. Actually the thumb war wasn't that funny, that was him cheating. I was winning so he kept talking shit about Dick’s past to make me laugh and lose focus.”

Tam finally sits down and she looks at ceiling as if she’s considering all the life decisions that lead her to this moment. At this point, Tim knows she’s just being dramatic, because knowing Red Hood cheats at thumb war for certain isn’t more shocking than the time she met Tim.

“The thumb was isn’t important now, though,” Tim says. “ This is a huge problem. Hood’s gonna be in hot water if people think he’s friends with a hero.”

He refuses to use the word lovers, because ew. Sure they’re not related by blood, but… ew. Tim sees him as a brother, damn it.

“Well, I’m afraid there’s not a lot we can do now,” Tam says apologetically. “The article’s been up since this morning. Even if we have them take it down, it’s already out there. #RedDynamicDuo is trending on Twitter.”

Oof. That’s… oof.

Tim intertwines his fingers and glares at the tablet in front of him as if waiting for the puzzle to solve itself. He knows it won’t, so it’s up to him to fix this. His burnt out brain suggests calling Bart and asking him to run back in time and stop that cursed thumb war. His practical brain has half a mind to call Oracle and see how much online evidence she can get rid of. He has to contact Gotham Gazette and threaten them into not putting vigilante’s identities at risk by posting such pictures, although he doesn’t hold high hopes for that course of action. What he needs now is a bigger scandal, although he fails to think of something more dramatic than Red Robin and Red Hood being buddies…

Right as he’s starting to feel a bit forlorn, his phone buzzes on the table. A picture of Dick smiling flashes on the screen and Tim allows himself to perk up for a moment. Dick for sure will be able to help him.

“Dick!” He picks up, full of hope.

Tim is greeted with cackling. Dick’s cackling.

He groans. “Richard.”

“AHAHAHAHA O-oh god, you… aha... b-baby bird, you… HAHAHAHA--”

Tim isn’t paid enough for this. He hangs up.

“Can you help me with this?” He asks.

“Don’t I always?” Tam quirks an eyebrow.

Smiling tiredly, he stands. “I’m taking the rest of the afternoon off. Can you take care of… you know… day job stuff?”

“I guess. Good luck with your… your family thing.”

THE BIRDNEST

spoiler alert: *insert game of thrones joke here*

In the hood: Go fuck yourself, Stephanie

spoiler alert: not judging u bro he hella cute

WonderWing: steph please

cassandra cain-wayne: ?

send me a Signal: they’re talking about that picture of Hood and Red holding hands cass

yumm: were NOT holding hands

cassandra cain-wayne: I print that picture.

In the hood: W H Y ! ?

cassandra cain-wayne: cute :)

spoiler alert: she right and she should say it

In the hood: Steph, turn on your location. I just want to talk.

yumm: stephanie I hv pics of u sleep drooling on me from that that 1 patrol dnt test me

spoiler alert: shut up red dynamic duo

Tim hates the internet.

Barbara is kindly trying her best to muffle the online reaction, but there is only so much she can do without outright deleting people’s tweets. Tim knows for a fact that that would only cause a bigger uproar, so he asks her to settle for burying mentions of them under a fake algorithm.

He has yet to think of gossip hot enough to top the rumors, but he doesn’t think even his fake engagement to Tam last year received so much attention. A glimpse into Gotham’s elusive heroes’ personal lives was too exciting to let go quickly.

When he walks into his apartment, he wants nothing but to take a hot shower and a nap. He knows he can’t, though.

As well as he knows he isn’t alone.

He plays it cool, walking in as though he doesn’t notice the person in the shadows. He drops his keys and phone on the nearest table as he would normally and turns around too abruptly to allow a reaction, his fist connecting to… someone’s palm.

“Nice reflexes, Baby Bird,” Jason says, quirking an eyebrow as though mildly impressed.

Tim groans. “Would it kill you to use the door?”

“It might, better not risk it.”

“It shaves five years of my life span every time I come home and you’re waiting in the shadows. Of all of Bruce’s habits to pick up…”

Jason simply shrugs. “So… what’s up, honey? ”

“Ew, don’t say that,” Tim groans.

Keeping his nonchalant facade, Jason lets himself fall into Tim’s couch as though he belongs there. Tim heads to his room to change into more humane clothes.

“I’m assuming Dickie shared the news already,” Jason says.

“He couldn’t stop laughing long enough to say anything,” Tim replies from his closet. “Tam was kind enough to show me, though.”

“Tam… is that your ex-fiancée? Hmm… The news sure keep shipping you with everyone, speaking of which.”

Grumbling the whole time, Tim puts on a purple hoodie he might or might not have stolen from Stephanie and that he wears whenever he’s stressed. He wears that hoodie a lot. Heading back to the living room barefoot and feeling slightly more prepared to deal with the situation, he says:

“I’m assuming you aren’t here just to hang out.”

Jason gives him an unimpressed look. “I’ll give you three guesses.”

Tim blinks once. Twice. No, it can’t be that… “ Everyone thinks you’re a rat.”

“Bingo.”

And this situation keeps getting better and better. Red Hood is feared enough that he can get away with hanging out with the goody two shoes every now and again and keep his rep. Being caught eating burgers and giggling with a hero was a whole new animal.

They have to assume Hood’s safe houses were compromised as well. The point of having many hideouts is that you’re never left with nowhere to go, but even Jason wasn’t prepared to have everyone in his territory turn on him. That and they all had been raised and trained to be paranoid. It was too big of a risk to assume he’d be safe in a known place.

“Crap,” Tim mutters.

“I considered ditching Gotham and spending some time with Roy instead…”

“But that would be as good as a confession. You’d never gain their respect again,” Tim completes for him.

Jason nods.

The only silver-lining about this situation is that this is Jason. Granted he isn’t too angry to think, Jason is practical and willing to do what’s needed, even if it’s annoying or if it makes him uncomfortable. Tim likes working with him because of that.

“You know where the extra blankets are,” Tim says.

Because, of course, if Jason can’t be at his own place and he can’t be with Roy and Kory, he’d crash Tim’s place. The manor isn’t really an option for him and Tim doesn’t blame him for that.

“The plan of action?”

“I’ll let you know as soon as I figure out.”

Jason sighs. “I’m going to punch something in your Red Robin cave.”

“Be my guest.”

Damage control is necessary, of course, especially for Red Hood’s safety, but there is something bothering Tim more. He opens the news and studies the picture. It’s a damn good shot, almost looks like it was staged. He closes his eyes and tries to remember that night. In order to take that picture, the photographer would have to be in of of the buildings across the street and they’d have to be good enough to go unnoticed not by one, but by two highly trained vigilantes, one of which had his senses enhanced by the Lazarus pit.

He messages Babs quickly for more info on whoever sent those pictures to the news, but not even Oracle had managed to track them yet. It sounds like the photographer walked into Vicki Vale on the street and handed her the picture, because there was no digital footprint of such interaction.

Without any more ideas, he puts on his suit and heads out, glad that is patrol night. Perhaps punching criminals will give him some clarity.

Tim is nowhere near closing any of his cases and Gotham is unusually quiet because of course the criminals would choose tonight of all nights to be chill. The night Tim needs a crime. That’s why he’s more than a little thankful when a crackling sound in his comm lets him know someone’s trying to send him a message.

“Hey, hot stuff,” a familiar voice calls, “I have an underground gambling den to dismantle tonight, you want in?”

Red Robin smiles. “Is that a date?”

“I don’t know, is it? I don’t want Red Hood coming after me.”

“Batgirl.”

She laughs shamelessly. He hopes Barbara isn’t listening. Although the alternative would be Wendy listening, and he doesn’t know which one would be worse. Steph’s sense of humor isn’t for everyone and while, Tim doesn’t mind their inside jokes and got used to her eternal flirting, he feels as though those should remain between the two of them only.

“I’m serious, though,” Steph continues. “I don’t think backup is needed per se, but I miss fighting criminals with you. Plus I figured you could use a punching bag or two.”

He grins. He just really loves Steph.

“Send me the details. I’ll meet you there.”

Turns out it’s a pretty standard burst for them. Gambling den covering a massive drug operation, because this is Gotham. Why wouldn’t they use an illegal thing to cover another more illegal thing? That sounded like a great idea.

He finds Batgirl waiting for him on top of a building. She simply smiles and points at the shady alley down the street.

“Gentlemen first?” she offers.

“It’s your case.”

With a nod, she dives towards the ground and Red Robin follows her closely, frowning in confusion when she doesn’t dropkicks any windows. Instead, she casually strolls towards the back of the alley where a suspicious metal door that could easily go unnoticed if it didn’t scream CRIMINAL ACTIVITY HERE. Batgirl knocks at the door and gestures at Red Robin to stay away.

A slit on the door slides open and a confused crook tries unsuccessfully to see who’s there. With both vigilantes’ out of his line of sight, the poor bastard has no option other than opening the door to check. Batgirl swiftly pulls him into a headlock as soon as he walks into view and Red Robin’s grinning face is the last thing the man sees before the pressured applied makes him pass out.

Red Robin doesn’t figure what Steph’s plan is until she cuffs the unconscious bouncer and stands straight, offering her arm.

“You’re so dramatic.” He rolls his eyes, even as he takes it.

“Shush, you think I’m awesome.”

That he does. Especially when the two of them climb down into the basement turned illegal cassino with their arms locked as if they’re a couple. It’s cartoonishly comic how long it takes everyone to realize Red Robin and Batgirl are standing on the entrance, looking around at the 50 different illegal activities happening at once.

Not as comic as when Batgirl shouts over the music: “Please, don’t stop on our account!”

The gamblers sober enough to freeze in horror.

“Before we start, anyone wants to just give themselves in?” Red Robin offers.

That’s when guns start firing and all hell breaks loose.

The night ends, as it would, with Batgirl and Red Robin walking home a trio of strippers. The women weren’t to blame that their work environment was less than ideal and they certainly didn’t need to be left tied up waiting for the GCPD like the mobsters Steph and Tim beat up tonight.

Red Robin wanted to just watch them from the top ot the buildings and make sure they got home safe, but Batgirl insisted they walked alongside the women. Their costumes don’t look completely out of place near them and Red Robin doesn’t know what to think of that.

For a second, he thinks he hears someone behind them. Everytime he turns around, he finds nothing but an empty alley, so he shrugs if off as him getting hit tooo many times.

While Batgirl excitedly chats with two of the women about their future employment - one of them is in this line of work just to get by, the other genuinely enjoys sensual dancing as a form of art but wishes she could work somewhere better - when the third of them discreetly detaches herself from the group to walk closer to Red Robin.

She still looks tense and guarded, her arms tightly wrapped around herself and Tim wishes he had a jacket to offer her. The way she sideeyes him says she wants to say something, but is too nervous to start. Not wanting to betray his persona, he simply waits, trying to appear as non threatening as possible.

“Thanks a lot for savin’ us, Red Robin,” the woman says finally. “I can’t believe I’m meetin’ ya.”

He gives her a small smile. “I’m just glad you’re safe, ma’am, there’s no need to thank me.”

“I just wanted ta say… I get ya.”

Red Robin tilts his head to the side. “Ma’am?”

“The thing with your man. Must ta’ be hard dating the Red Hood. I know how it is.”

He was… He was getting sympathy from a stripper with bad taste in men.

“There’s nothing gross between Hood and I!” He lets out before he can help himself, his voice a little louder than intended.

The other women startle at his outburst and turn to him, wary. One of them reaches for what is clearly a pocket knife that she thinks is cleverly hidden in her bra.

He sighs. “I’m sorry, ma’am, just… Batgirl, I believe you’ve got things from here. I’m taking off.”

She gives him a concerned look, but ultimately nods. Under Batgirl’s and the three strippers perplexed glares, Red Robin grapples his way out of there.

Tim wakes up around noon feeling as though he was hit by a truck, as he does when he sleeps longer than three hours a night. He slowly sits up and looks around his messy room, wondering how come he’s feeling so miserable. The smell of food stirs him into some sort of alertness.

Right. He’s not home alone today.

Yawning and scratching his belly, he forces himself to get out of bed. He know that the longer he stays the more likely he is to slip into a coma, his body demanding compensation for years of sleep deprivation. Tim drags his feet towards his kitchen where he finds one of Gotham’s most dangerous vigilantes humming to himself as he makes breakfast. Or Lunch. Brunch. Whatever.

“And here I thought I was the family’s zombie,” Jason says in lieu of good morning.

Tim grumbles something about his brother being too comfortable in Tim’s kitchen, but he doesn’t dare complain. Jason is probably the only person that uses Tim’s stove and one of the perks of having him over is that he does cook. A lot.

The one disadvantage about having Jason over is…

A knife lodges itself on the counter in front of Tim when he tries to reach for the coffee pot. Tim didn’t even see him throwing it. He glares at his brother.

“Food first. Coffee after,” Jason says.

“I’m too nauseous to eat, I just woke up.”

Again without breaking eye contact with the pot he’s stirring, Jason blindly reaches for a package of crackers casually left on the counter and hands it to Tim.

Tim makes sure to give him his best rebellious teenager glare before grabbing the stupid crackers and sitting down to eat them. Stupid Jason with his stupid boredom. Tim had forgotten Jason goes into full mom mode when he has nothing else to do and that he’s particularly obnoxious about Tim’s eating habits.

“I consume the necessary calories,” Tim mumbles over his cracker.

“Okay, Damian.”

Tim throws a cracker at him. Jason easily dodges without looking, which is kind of annoying.

After that, the two brothers fall into comfortable silence. Tim knows Jason wants to talk about their plan of action, but he knows Tim is nowhere near awake enough to hold a conversation. Besides, Jason doesn’t like being bothered while he’s cooking anyway.

By the time the food is ready, the crackers worked their magic and Tim no longer feels as though his stomach is ready to puke out its emptiness. He grabs dishes he hadn’t used in quite a while and sets the table for the two of them. The brothers start eating in silence, Tim slowly recovering his sense of self - no wonder he goes for so long without sleeping, he takes too long to reboot when he does - and Jason mindlessly scrolling through his phone.

Then something on the small screen makes Jason choke on his food.

Tim quirks an eyebrow. “You okay?”

“Hm… Timmy, you may wanna take a look at this.”

“What?” Tim takes Jason’s phone. “Oh, for fuck’s sake !”

It’s another news article. The picture is fortunately less detailed, just a red and black silhouette against Gotham’s sky that may or may not be Red Robin standing over one of the many gargoyles. The text, however.

RED ROBIN MAKES HOMOPHOBIC REMARK AND SHOCKS ADMIRER

Gotham’s newest vigilante busted an underground gambling den last night. Despite his heroic deed, his words after the fact were less than commendable. When questioned about his relationship with the Red Hood by one of the women he rescued, the hero allegedly said that there’s “Nothing gross between him and Hood.”

“Personally, I was shocked,” said the woman in question, Krystal Math, 25 years old. “Red Robin became my favorite hero when I heard he also has a dead-beat boyfriend. I was starting to finally see myself in one of those bats, you know? I couldn’t believe when he said being gay is gross. Never meet your heroes, I guess.”

THE BIRDNEST

WonderWing sent a screenshot.

WonderWing: red robin is cancelled for homophobia, pass it on

Robin: Good. It’s about time we rid ourselves of him.

Cassandra Cain: Little brother does not approve gay rights? :(

yumm: im literally bisexual

spoiler alert: he avoiding the question

in the hood: #redrobinisoverparty

yumm: I hate this fucking family

Tim hasn’t stopped pacing around the room since he read the most recent article. Those were his exact words by the letter, meaning someone had been listening. He doubts Krystal, bless her heart, was the one going to the news with his “homophobic remark”.

Having basically given up on getting Tim to calm down, Jason is the one to get the porch door open for Steph. Because apparently she’s been learning from Jason and acquired his hatred for front doors. Steph knows how Tim gets, so she promptly ignores him and gets comfortable on the reading chair to check the article fully.

“This is nuts,” Steph says. “We were being careful. I made sure of it.”

Tim believes her. Batman and Robin are basically public figures at this point, even if they don’t interact with civilians if they can help it. Red Robin and the Signal were heard of and spotted around the city, but not a lot of people really know of them. Red Hood was basically a urban legend until recently and Black Bat sill is. Batgirl, however, is known for being a people hero.

She was, back in Barbara’s time, stopped for a bit with Cass, but Steph embraced the old tradition whole heartedly. She would walk people home late at night to make sure they were safe, wave at little girls in the bus, talk to kidnapping victims until they were under heavy blankets handed by the police. Steph was extroverted and charming and she used that fully as Batgirl like she never could as Spoiler. That being said, she and Barbara always made a point to avoid pictures, security cameras and whatnot. If there was a hero good at hanging with civilians while unnoticed by the media, that hero was Stephanie Brown.

Tim’s phone is buzzing. He ignores it in favor of stomping around some more.

“Well, something must have slipped your watchful eye,” Jason says, shrugging.

Steph glares at him. “Mine, perhaps, but are you implying someone went unnoticed by Oracle?”

“Well, someone obviously did,” Tim snaps, tossing his phone at the couch in frustration. “What happened after I left, Steph?”

“Nothing,” she says honestly. “I walked the ladies home. Krystal was a bit miffed but she didn’t say anything, so I thought she was just a shipper upset that her OTP wasn’t canon.”

“You think she went to the news after?” Jason suggests.

Steph frowns. “Why would she? She didn’t look like she had media connections exactly.”

Tim’s phone, that bounced off the couch and fell with a soft thud on the carpet, continues to explode with texts. He sighs and stops to pick it up and finally answer them.

“Appearances can be deceiving,” Jason argues. Then turns to Tim: “You should look into her. I’m gonna check other possible sources.”

“Hm-hum, just a second,” Tim mumbles, typing furiously. “Damian is being a nightmare and asking for help on a case.”

“Wack. Are you telling him to solve his own cases instead of using your intell to impress Bruce?”

Tim glares at Jason.

“Really? C’mon, Timmy, we’ve been over this.”

Stephanie gives them a puzzled look. “You’ve been over… Dami being a nightmare?”

“Jason says that whenever someone is mean to me I should reply by attacking them where hurts the most,” Tim explains.

“He knows all of our weaknesses and he has the quickest thinking,” Jason says, frustrated. “The least he should do is stand up for himself with that knowledge!”

"Kinda rich coming from the guy that tried to kill him," Steph says, quirking an eyebrow.

"Steph," Tim scowls. "He didn't know me then and the pit rage--"

"Timmy," Jason cuts him off.

Tim sighs. "Besides now I could off him in 20 different ways if he tried any of that shit again. There. Happy, Jason?"

"That's my baby brother."

Steph smiles at him. “You know what? You’re onto something, Jaybird.”

Tim interrupts his walk of worry again to smile a bit. Something about Stephanie and Jason agreeing on something is immensely satisfying.

Still, on the matter at hand, Tim says, “If I go off on Damian, Dick’s gonna get mad…”

“Then go off on Dick as well,” Steph promptly suggests.

Jason high-fives her. “Atta girl. Besides if Dick doesn’t want us to tell Damian to fuck off he has to work harder on teaching him not to be a little shit. Everyone here has a tragic backstory here and we all know Damian goes too far sometimes.”

Tim shakes his head again. “Regardless, Damian’s case will have to wait. We’re gonna go with your plan, Jay. And Steph…”

“Wow, no way, José. I’m just here as an eyewitness. I don’t want to get involved with homophobes and end up shipped with Jason or some shit.”

Tim glares at her. “I was going to offer you some of our leftovers, but since you’re not interested, that’s fine.”

While Jason laughs and Steph protests, he proceeds to look for his laptop, hoping this isn’t going to be a dead end.

“This is a dead end,” Tim declares.

From what he can find, Krystal wasn’t even paid for her impromptu interview. Apparently Vicki Vale showed up at her place to confirm the veracity of a story that she heard God knows where.

Dick is in Bludhaven, but he insisted on facetiming them when he realized his brothers were struggling, even if he mostly just made worried faces from Tim’s phone as Tim, Jason and Steph exchanged notes. As a rule of thumb, Tim doesn’t involve his siblings in his cases since he became Red Robin, but this is definitely an all hands on deck situation. Tim isn’t desperate enough to get Bruce involved, but he’s getting there. Especially when Dick says:

“Babs couldn’t find anything in Vicki’s email or phone. She’s double checking all of Vicki's sources, but so far it’s been no good.”

“We could always get Vale and hang her by the ankles on top of some building until she talks,” Jason suggests. "Let's go old school on her."

Everyone ignores Jason. Tim stands for another mug of coffee. Dick lets out a frustrated sigh. Steph keeps watching all of them from the couch, where she’s been lying down and tossing gummy bears into her mouth for the past half-hour.

When no one acknowledges him, Jason sighs and stands. “Alright, this’ been fun. I’m going to patrol.”

Dick frowns. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“He can’t vanish,” Steph says. “One thing is crashing Tim’s place to make sure he won’t get ambushed in his down time. If Red Hood goes AWOL he might as well admit he’s working with the Batclan.”

Jason nods. “If I don’t do my job, next thing I know Black Mask takes over my stuff.”

“Can’t have Black Mask taking over his stuff,” Steph agrees.

Dick glances at Tim as though expecting him to disagree with the plan. Tim lets out a defeated sigh. “He’s right. Just… make sure to find a safe place to change into your gear so no one sees you. If there are any safe places, that is…”

Jason rolls his eyes. Tim knows he’s going full Robbie Downer mode, as Jason likes to call it, but he can’t help it. It’s not often that he finds himself without any ideas. He should have been able to solve this already. Since nothing comes to mind, he starts imagining unrealistic scenarios in hopes that they’ll give him some insight outside of the box. AU in which I was never shipped with my brother by some nosey reporter. AU in which I went out Damian instead of Jason that night.

Tim groans in frustration. “Why did it have to be Jason? We could get away with me having a thumb war with literally anyone. If it was Batman out there, this wouldn’t be that much of a problem.”

“Maybe if you hung out with all your brothers and not just Jason there wouldn’t be as many rumors about you and Red Hood,” Dick mumbles.

Tim glares at the phone.

“Really? You wanna go there? You wanna talk favoritism, Richard? Because you’ve been favoring Damian for-freaking-ever.”

“Drag him!” Jason cheers.

“Tim,” Dick says, looking genuinely upset, “I love all-”

“Save it,” Steph cuts in. “We all have favorites Dick, there is no use denying it.”

Because Dick’s eyebrows are knitted in confusion, Tim clarifies: “Bruce’s favorite is Cass, yours is Damian, Jason’s is… I don’t know, his guns. Steph is my favorite, unfortunately. Steph’s favorite is Cass, Cass’ favorite is Duke, Duke doesn’t have favorites, he’s the only good person in this family, and Damian’s is also you.”

Steph nods. “You did it! You broke the Bat Family dynamics to its bare essentials!”

“And that is why Tim is my favorite. After my guns,” Jason adds.

“Jason, we do not rate our siblings.”

“That’s why you’re in last place, Dick.”

Ignoring Dick’s enraged noises, Tim sets his mug aside. “I’m going patrolling, even if today isn't my turn. Solo this time. Hopefully Red Hood and Red Robin being separate out there will help the rumors die down a bit.”

No one has a better idea - Tim’s least favorite sentence - so that’s what they do.

It’s another infuriatingly quiet night.

Red Robin stops a couple of muggings, scares the crap out of some drug dealers. At some point, he considers contacting Poison Ivy and asking if she has any corrupt CEO she wants help with. He could, you know. It’d stop Ivy from killing someone and on his last run with Harley Quinn she did let slip that Tim was Ivy’s favorite Robin.

He almost falls mid swing at the memory, thinking he might be onto something, but then he remembers Harley hadn’t particularly recognized Red Robin as the third Robin. She was just ranting about how the new tiny Robin had no sense of humor and Ivy missed the last one. Besides of course Harley Quinn wasn’t feeding Vicki Vale some BatFanfic. Tim’s brain must be really burnt out if that’s the best hot take it can come up with.

It’s almost 3am and he’s taking a pair of muggers that can’t be much older than Tim to the police. He’s about ready to call if a night when someone shouts:

“Red Robin!”

He looks on instinct and his stomach drops when he sees Vicki Vale running towards him. Crap.

“Red Robin, can I get a statement?”

He keeps walking. He’s just one dirty alley away from GCPD, otherwise he’d just tie the stupid muggers to his back and would use his grappling hook to get out of the situation, grapple safety be damned. The muggers gingerly attempt to hide their faces as the reporter runs to them swinging a digital recorder. Vicki acts as though she can’t see them.

“Red Robin, what do you have to say about the rumors of your relationship with the Red Hood?”

The rumors you created? Red Robin quickens his pace and the muggers trip over themselves. He stares straight ahead, pretending he doesn’t notice the woman basically running in heels to keep up with him.

“Are you ashamed of it? Is it because he’s a criminal or because he’s a man?”

Red Robin wonders if the muggers would walk the rest of the way and turn themselves in if he asked nicely.

“Don’t bother, lady,” one of the muggers says. “He’s a nasty bigot.”

The other mugger nods and the two of them are wearing matching pouty expressions. Now Tim just feels bad. He didn’t become a hero for the recognition and he’s not in the business of doing PSAs like Superman, but he doesn’t want the strange socially woke criminal youth of Gotham to think they’re being arrested by a homophobe.

“I have no problem with two men in a relationship, I’m bisexual,” he tells the muggers. “Still, I’m not dating Red Hood. Just because I’m bi it doesn’t mean I’m dating every male vigilante I run into.”

At that, the two crooks look mildly surprised and suddenly they seem to feel a bit better about being arrested. Would you look at that.

Red Robin delivers them to the police, painfully aware that Vicki Vale is nowhere to be found anymore. He feels like he’s going to pay dearly for being too prideful to let himself be mistaken for a heterosexual person.

Lo and behold, Twitter, on that very same morning.

@Gotham_Gazette:

Red Robin hints that he might be bisexual. “No, I’m not dating the Red Hood, just because I’m bi it doesn’t mean I’m dating every male vigilante,” said the hero on the rumors about his relationship.

@dgraysonman hints??? he literally said he’s bi smh

@stephssss wow only the male vigilantes? biphobic. let red robin date batgirl too

@babsgeez be gay do crime, be bi serve justice

@thomascommaduke no cops at pride, only Red Robin using a bi flag as cape.

“Timmy…” Jason starts.

“Don’t. Just leave me alone to die.”

“That’s fair, have a nice day.”

At this point, Tim is surprised Bruce hasn’t intervened. As unaware of social media as Bruce can be, he’s always on the look for anything that might compromise their secret identities. Tim pulls two all-nighters in a row doing detective work and still makes no progress on his search for the person that sent Vicki that picture and overheard his conversation with Krystal. He fully expects Batman to jump him on his next patrol and give him a lecture.

When he comments that to Jason, he gets a confused look in response.

“You didn’t get a lecture? Bruce was the one that told me first. I had to hear about being careless for 20 minutes before I got home and could take off my comm.”

Tim frowns in confusion. Bruce had talked to him once or twice after the news got out and he didn’t comment anything on it.

“That’s Batman’s psychological profiling,” someone suggests.

Tim almost jumps out of his skin when Steph casually walks into the living room with a bowl of chips.

“What are you doing here? And are those my clothes?”

Steph shrugs in the sweater that clearly doesn’t belong to her. “Jason and I are doing movie night.”

“Movie night,” Jason mocks. “She’s been here for the past two days. Did you seriously not notice, Tim?”

Tim’s jaw drops.

Steph sighs and her expression turns guilty. “Fine. My mom is out of town for the week and Jason is a better cook than I am. Is it a crime to bum off your ex-boyfriend and his bizarrely talented in the kitchen brother?”

Before Tim can say anything, Jason interrupts: “What were you saying about Batman, Steph?”

She heads to the couch and starts looking for the remote, her feet propped on the coffee table. “B knows Jay will just shrug it off and deal with the consequences, hence the need of a lecture. If he annoys Jason, he’ll stop and reflect on it, even if out of rage. He knows Tim’s already overthinking and working his butt off to fix it, so he doesn’t want to add any pressure.”

Both Jason and Tim stand in dumbfounded silence. Since when does Steph know Bruce so well?

She raises her gaze when the quietness stretches and quirks an eyebrow at them. “What? Am I wrong?”

“Hm. No. That’s pretty much what we’ve been doing,” Jason admits, if a big begrudgingly. “That’s annoying though.”

Steph simply makes a dismissive gesture and pats the sit beside her. “Tim, you need a break. Wanna join us?”

Tim hesitates. On one hand, the fact that Bruce trusts him that much is a tad touching… and knowing it makes him feel he has to solve this as soon as possible. On another… it’s kind of annoying that Bruce knows him so well and yet doesn’t think about offering any assistance. Tim is not stubborn enough to refuse a helping hand when he’s on a pinch.

“You’re not going to solve anything if you’re hallucinating from sleep deprivation, Timbers,” Jason points. “Besides we’re watching Avatar.”

“Fine,” Tim says.

If for nothing else, just to prove to Bruce that he’s not an overworker and he can slack off in the absence of a parental figure.

Tim falls asleep in the middle of the second episode. Steph and Jason vow to take him to bed once they’re sure he’s completely out, but they only last until the end of the first season. The three sleep soundly on the couch for good eight hours and regret dearly when they wake up with necks too sore to fight crime for at least a day.

Consequences. They always come.

Almost a week goes by in which the rumors are but an annoyance to Jason and a source of stress to Tim - but almost anything can stress Tim if he tries hard enough, so that’s not saying anything. Jason is still staying at Tim’s, but he’s considering going back to his own place when they go for three days with no new article and nothing unusual has happened.

Until it does.

It’ a rainy night Tim is going over reports for the next WE meeting when he hears a noise coming from the balcony. His stomach gives a familiar twist when he recognizes Batgirl hunched over the weight of one Red Hood.

He rushes to her aid, already feeling nauseous. There’s no blood in sight but whatever happened must be serious if Jason is willing to let Batgirl give him a piggyback ride. Tim lets them drip water all over the floor and, in his panic, has half a mind to appreciate that Batgirl’s boots have enough traction that she doesn’t slip.

“What on Earth…”

“The most ridiculous thing,” Steph bables as she and Tim drag a very dizzy Jason to the couch. She then starts ranting so fast Bart Allen would be proud. “He was doing his thing as usual, but some of his people turned on him and there was an ambush and so many flipping people against one poor Hood and good god that guy shot his helmet at point-blank which, damn , that was so stupid, of course the freaking helmet is bullet proof, it just ricocheted and…”

“Steph, calm down,” Tim interrupts. “Jason, can you report?”

When he gingerly attempts to take off his helmet, Steph takes over and undoes the safety measures before carefully removing it. There is a dent on the back part where he had been presumably shot.

“Hm,” Jason grunts, squinting even behind his domino mask. “Ambush. Shot. Concussion. Very concussion. Ankle hurts? Prolly not broken, tho. Also stabbed?”

Tim nods. “Steph, get the medical supplies. Where’s the stab wound, Jay?”

Jason points to his thigh and there is an improvised bandage keeping him from losing too much blood. Considering how well done it is, Tim figures it’s Steph’s work. He nods and starts checking his brother’s vitals and making sure there aren’t other serious wounds.

When she comes back with the supplies Tim needs, Steph has her cowl down and a somber expression. She turns off the lights for Jason’s sake, the only source of light left on being the lamp near where Tim is already ripping off a piece of Jason’s pants to have better access to his wound. Steph sits by Jason’s side and grabs his hand, much to Tim’s surprise. He’s too busy taking care of the stab wound to ask, but he doesn’t have to. Steph breaks the silence:

“I’m so sorry, Jason.”

Jason gives her a confused look. “You saved my ass?”

“Yes, but…” Steph sighs and turns to Tim. “Babs is with the Birds of Prey tonight, so I was on my own. I was messing around with my comm frequency when I accidentally got into Jason’s. I heard the mess and it sounded like he was in trouble so I panicked. I went to get him and… Well, if there was any doubt that he’s working with the Bats, there isn’t now. It was too obvious that I was protecting him.”

Jason squeezes her hand. “Hm. Pigs.”

“Right. Then the police arrived and instead of leaving right away I stopped to make sure Jason wasn’t bleeding to death. More than a few cops saw me patching him up.”

Tim sighs. Well, shit.

“It’s not your fault, Steph,” Tim says. “I mean… he literally wears a bat on his chest. People were bound to find out it isn’t just to stick it to Batman.”

“Is too,” Jason mumbles.

Tim ignores him. “The situation isn’t ideal, but we all prefer people knowing Red Hood is associated with the Bats than him being dead.”

“I died before.”

“We know, Jay.”

“Do not recommend.”

“We know, Jay.”

Steph fidgets a bit, still looking guilty, but ultimately nods. Tim is about to start stitching Jason’s wound closed when she says: “There’s more. You, hm, you know Renee Montoya?”

“The one valid pig,” Jason says. “I like her.”

“She was there. She helped a ton keep the other cops away from us before we could escape,” Steph says. “I think she wanted to check on Jason and…”

Tim stops moving. He knows Montoya, worked with her before and she’s a nice woman. That being said, she doesn’t have any connections to Hood. Why would she… Oh. The gay rumors. Damn wlw/mlm solidarity.

“What happened?” Tim asks, already fearing the worst.

“Hmmm, we’ll tell you, but I’m concussed, so you have to promise you won’t be mad.”

“Jason.”

Jason sighs. “Well. She asked about our relationship and… Hm. I might have told her we’re brothers.”

Tim stares at them. Steph is cringing and Jason is too out of it to care. At this point… Tim starts laughing, making the other two - even the concussed one - frown in worry.

“Aw, man,” Tim says between chuckles. “What the fuck, am I right? I’m too old for this. Who cares? Not me! Fuck it. Fuckety fuck fucky-fuck.”

“I think we broke him,” Steph whispers even as Tim resumes stitching his brother.

They went from not-sure-if-real to a freaking cop knowing about their family in the span of a week. Tomorrow #TimDrakeIsRedRobin could be trending on Twitter and Tim wouldn’t care. Not anymore. Let them come.Literally everyone in his friend circle is a vigilante, a hero or a criminal at this point, he doesn’t even care about endangering anyone.

It takes actually two days for it to hit the news. He’s alone in his office when Tam texts him a link to Gotham Gazette online. Judging by the lack of other words, Tim figures she’s cutting ties with him again.

The newest article has no actual pictures, but a sketch of Red Hood standing with his guns pointed at the viewer and Red Robin standing behind him, his face only partially turned. The thing looks more like superhero fanart than an official sketch, but that never stopped Vicki Vale before.

VIGILANTE FAMILY? by Vicki Vale

Red Robin, one of Gotham’s many masked vigilantes, was cause of intrigue recently. Many people noticed the hero doing his work around Red Hood’s territory, something not even Batman dares on the regular. Speculation turned into a craze of theories when both red-themed vigilantes were caught sitting on a roof sharing a meal from Batburger and many thought perhaps there was more than your regular vigilante team up.

Turns out the hero and the mob boss aren’t lovers, against popular belief. When questioned about the nature of their relationship, Red Hood snapped and confirmed one of the less popular theories: the two men are, in fact, related. “Red is right and he should say it,” said Red Hood to a bewildered policewoman. “Of course he’d say it’s [REDACTED] gross, he’s my little brother.” When asked about the conversation overheard by our reporter, the policewoman in question refused to give any more details and requested to remain anonymous.

It’s hard to be sure how such development came to be. The Red Hood has been active in Gotham for years as a mob boss and, more recently, a vigilante and ally to Gotham’s bats. While Red Robin is a newer vigilante, could it be that he was trained by the Red Hood? And how do the two brothers fit with Gotham’s oldest vigilantes? Unlike his older counterpart, Red Robin has been often spotted working side-by-side with the likes of Batgirl and Robin, making some question whether Red Robin is distancing himself from his criminal brother. However, sources spotted Hood being aided by Batgirl more recently. Could it be that his former sidekick is bringing Red Hood closer to the side of justice? More on the Red Twins as the story develops.

THE BIRDNEST

spoiler alert: RED TWINS

WonderWing: R E D T W I N S

send me a Signal: ~ * R E D T W I N S * ~

in the hood: uhhhh my bad?

yumm: dis is great

yumm: now im hoods stranged sidekick

yumm: i fucking hate u jason.

in the hood: hey, if you didn't want to be my sidekick you should've picked another color

yumm: screw u u dont own the color red

in the hood: I was born first

yumm: u died first 2

WonderWing: Tim!

spoiler alert: oof

send me a Signal: wow Tim that was too far

in the hood: I’ve never been prouder to be your brother I taught you so well Timmy

send me a Signal: … I stand corrected. I sometimes forget everyone in this family is clinically insane

“Hey Tim. There is discourse about you and Jason now.”

Tim lets out a whimper.

“So apparently some people still ship you two. But those people are being cancelled because shipping incest is problematic.”

“Steph, are you planning on going home? I noticed you took one of my drawers.”

“There’s fanart of you two.”

“I don’t want to see it. That'll scar me for life."

“I’m DMing it to you. By the way there is civilian Red Robin fanart and for some reason they made you blonde.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know, I guess it’s more fun to ship people with different hair colors. Should we dye your hair?”

“Why.”

“That way when you finally hook up with Co-”

“Finish that sentence and I kick you out of this apartment for good.”

With the cat out of the bag, they start doing different damage control.

Red Hood is now openly working with the Bats, so Steph and Cass dismantle Hood’s former safehouses around Gotham which mostly means getting Jason’s books and bringing them to Tim’s place. Jason suggests the places should be converted into something useful for the neighborhood, such as libraries or a community center of sorts, so Tim starts working on what needs to be done by WE to make that reality. Tim also makes sure Bruce pretends not to know Jason is using a lot of money illegally acquired to getting himself new hideouts.

They dance around the topic a lot and nothing is really said until Steph brings it up. Steph, whose mother returned days ago. Steph, that definitely doesn’t want Jason to leave, because apparently she suddenly has a new favorite ex-Robin. Steph, that is currently eating homemade waffles in Tim’s kitchen, even though Tim is 83% sure she didn’t sleep over last night.

“Why doesn’t Jason just moves in?” she asks.

When neither boy replies immediately, she continues:

“I mean, it’s more practical, isn’t it? Tim’s place is already secure, he has a hero hideout downstairs and you two already work together all the damn time. Tim’s office can be converted into a room for Jason, because, let’s face it, I spend most of my free time here and Tim never uses it. I once saw him take his laptop with him to the bathroom and then return to the kitchen table instead of using the office. We wouldn’t even have to take the shelves, because Jason would fill them.”

They exchange a look.

“You know, she’s right,” Tim says. He shrugs like it’s no big deal, really.

He isn’t nervous at all while Jason stands there, his expression unreadable. It’s not like he enjoys way too much having his brother around and got way too comfortable with having a roommate and a half (if you count Steph) on the past weeks. Tim doesn’t care, he’s cool like that.

“I mean. I guess having you as a roommate beats living alone,” Jason finally says.

Tim fails to hide his grin. “We can start working in turning the office into a room this weekend.”

Jason smiles back and messes his hair.

Tim’s first theory is that Steph wants Jason off the couch so she has an official place to sleep, because apparently Jason’s cooking is that good.

His second theory is that she noticed how happy Tim is to finally share a house with family. The Wayne Manor had been home for a while, sure, but despite Alfred’s best efforts the place wasn’t the coziest. It wasn’t the same as sharing an apartment with a brother, bickering about sharing chores and openly discussing their night jobs before shifting the conversation to a video game they want to buy. Sharing actual meals and making sure one another wouldn’t end up dead in a ditch.

Tim decides to stick with his first theory, after all it’s easier for Steph to make Red Twins jokes if Jason and Tim are under the same roof.

Even without new gossip, the idea of vigilante brothers is too interesting for the general public to let go. Tim and Jason start acting mostly in the shadows and having no interaction with civilians at all and they’re still the topic of Gotham’s variety shows and online discussions from time to time.

Because they don’t slip again, Bruce has yet to bring up the subject with Tim, but the mystery remains. Who listened to all those conversations and how? Tim keeps expecting the other shoe to drop, to get a message demanding ransom for their secret identities, something, anything , but nothing happens. Nothing freaking happens and he’s never been this frustrated.

That is, until, it happens. The ultimate betrayal.

Dick’s next visit coincides with the time Cass is over for the week. Because Bruce is secretly a sap in the wrongest way, he suggests they all go patrolling together. Such great family time.

Despite their initial protests, they must all be the same kind of freak, because they all agree. They split up soon to cover more ground, but keep their comms on so it still feels they’re all in a big menacing group.

Red Robin is somewhere near the crime alley when Nightwing announces he noticed some of Two Face’s goons getting into a building. He checks his wrist pad for their locations and notices Nightwing isn’t that far from where he is. The next closest person is Red Hood.

“I’ll take care of it,” Nightwing says over the comms.

“Negative. Two Face himself might be there,” Batman intervenes. “Wait for backup. The Red Twins--” And he stops himself as though realizing what he’s saying.

“Batman!?” Red Robin gasps in a betrayed voice.

Nightwing is already having a laughter fit over the comms almost drowning the sound of Bruce’s disappointed sigh.

“I’m sorry, Red,” his father says and he even forgets to use Batman’s scary voice. “Nightwing and Batgirl have been saying it so much that-”

“Save it,” Hood groans. “And stop laughing, Jerkwing!”

The worst part is knowing that, even if he solves the mystery, the Red Twins thing is probably going to follow him to his untimely death.

Tim all but lost hope when he gets an email from Barbara. “To my favorite Red Twin” says the subject. He groans, but opens the email, because one does not simply ignore a message from Oracle. Then he almost drops his phone.

Attached there is a grainy picture of a young woman talking to Vicki Vale. The image had certainly been enhanced digitally as it’s probably from a shitty security camera, but you can still see the woman’s face clear as day. She looks like she’s handing Vicki something, her shoulders tense and her expression wary. The body of the message is, most likely, the woman’s personal info. Her name is Lisa Harris. She is 27 years old. She lives somewhat close to Jason’s territory. And, most importantly, Babs added to the end of the message:

The picture is from the night before the Red Twins article ;) Vicki didn’t talk to anyone other than her coworkers and our pal Lisa on that night.

Jason comes out of his room when Tim trips on the coffee table in his hurry to stand. “What’s up?”

Tim hands him the phone. Jason’s eyes grow wide. “I don’t care about subtlety. We’re both going after this chick.”

“Agreed.”

“Should we wait for Steph? She’s gonna be mad that we went when she’s in class.”

“Jason, Steph doesn’t live here.”

“Doesn’t she, though?”

“We’re not waiting for Steph. She’s not involved.”

“Aight, but when she’s bitching I’m gonna say I remembered her and you said no.”

They leave their bikes behind first for stealth sake, but mostly because the place they’re going isn’t that far from their place. Tim shivers at the thought of someone so dangerous living near him. He wonders what kind of information Lisa might have gathered and for how long she’d been watching them. Is she a new enemy? Perhaps a member of the league?

The shitty building she lives in doesn’t suggest that. It’s just another grimy Gotham apartment complex that didn’t age well. The place they’re looking for doesn’t have a balcony, only a useless fire escape so rusty it would probably crumble under any sign of flames. It’s a perfect hiding spot, because nothing suggests a villain lives there. It’s just a building, home to many underpaid bachelors, nothing too suspicious about it.

Red Robin reminds Hood of that before they nod to each other and split. Jason goes into the building with a ton of confidence, for such a big guy trying to go unnoticed. Tim uses his grapple to reach the right window, not trusting that fire escape for even a second.

The window is open and he finds himself looking at a place not that different from the one Jason lived before moving in with Tim. Mismatched furniture of the living suggests whoever lives there didn’t have money for fancy decor or that they don’t mind how the place looks. However, something about the place looks… well, lived in. It doesn’t look like a criminal temporary hideout, but rather someone’s place.

As he hesitates, a woman walks in. The woman of the picture, Lisa Harris. Her long blonde hair had been tied in a knot on top of her head and she’s getting ready for bed, if her oversized T-shirt and pajama pants say anything. She’s holding a bowl of cereal.

She reminds him of Steph and that causes him to hesitate for a second. What if this girl is innocent? Their evidence is circumstantial. Maybe she just happened to talk to Vicki Vale at the wrong time.

That hesitation costs him dearly. The woman appears to feel his eyes burning the back of her head. She glances at the window and their gazes meet.

Crap.

Lisa inhales sharply and drops her cereal bowl. Before he can reassure her of anything, she’s bolting for the door. He pats himself in the back for his backup plan, because just as she opens the door she runs right into Red Hood’s chest. Lisa stumbles backwards, her expression horrified.

“Knock knock?” Hood quips.

She lets out a squeak and guilt makes Tim wince. Once again he opens his mouth to tell her they’re not here to hurt her when she… vanishes.

She simply disappears right in front of their eyes.

“Shit, she’s a meta,” Hood hisses.

Red Robin’s thoughts fly a thousand miles per hour, finally making the conexions he stupidly missed for so long. Of freaking course. He was so used to dealing with a bunch of idiots in colorful costumes and assassins and whatnot he hadn’t taken in consideration that ninjas aren’t the only exceptional enemies they face. And if his theory is correct.

“She’s still here,” he says. “If I’m right, she can turn invisible. That’s how she’s been listening to private conversations.”

A soft gasp follows his statement and Hood is moving almost as fast as Red Robin’s insights. An invisible woman is still solid and her clumsy footsteps are still audible, so on the moment that follows Jason seems to embrace air.

“No!” She cries out, flashing in and out of sight for a few seconds.

“Careful,” Red Robin warns.

Hood is wearing his helmet, but Tim knows him well enough to know his brother is glaring at him as if saying duh?

Lisa tries to stomp on Hood’s feet, she squirms and grunts, but he doesn't budge. Apparently invisibility is her only power and she looks terrified.

“It’s okay!” Red Robin hurries to say. “We’re not going to hurt you!”

She turns her frantic gaze to him. Her brown eyes suddenly become watery.

Shit.

“Hood, let her go,” Red Robin says.

“Seriously?”

“Yes. You’re not going to try to escape again, are you, Lisa? We just want to ask a few questions.”

He wishes they had waited for Steph.

Lisa hesitates, paralysed, but slowly nods. Her eyes never leave Red Robin once their gazes met, not even to check whether Hood is going to let her go or not.

“Hood,” he calls again.

Groaning something about being too trusting, Jason lets her go. He is gentle about it, too, making sure to let her feet touch the floor carefully instead of simply dropping her. Regardless, as soon as she’s left to stand on her own legs, her knees give in and she drops on the floor. At that, Tim can tell even Jason is hiding guilt behind his helmet.

He shakes his head to regain focus and crouches in front of the woman. If at this point they just apologize and leave, they’ll have traumatizes this poor woman for nothing.

“Lisa Harris,” he starts. “That’s your name, right?”

She trembles when he says her name and that should have been the first red flag. He blames it on the stressful situation and moves on.

“I’m sorry for startling you,” he says. He keeps his expression empty, even if he again can tell Jason is cringing at the understatement. “No one here is going to hurt you. We just want some answers. Is that alright?”

Her hands are balled tightly on her lap as though she’s making a lot of effort not to move them - perhaps to punch them, defend herself? But again she doesn’t look prone to start a fight.

“You’re him,” she whispers, her voice heavy with… something. It almost sounds like affection. “You’re really the Red Robin. In my room.”

That red flag is harder to ignore. He is about to check for other shock symptoms when Hood calls.

“Hmm… Red? Are you seeing that?”

He follows his brother’s gaze… and his chin drops. On the wall opposite to the door hangs a giant corkboard. On the corkboard, held by black and red tacks there are dozens of Red Robin pictures. Some blurry, some taken from so far that you can barely be sure it’s really Red Robin or not, the infamous picture of the thumb war (demon horns had been disturbingly scribbled on Jason on that one) and… He doesn’t have words.

“You’re my hero!” Lisa claims.

“Is he? I couldn’t tell,” Hood says.

Red Robin punches his knee, which is all he can reach from where he is, and turns his attention to the woman in front of him.

“Lisa, for how long have you been following me?”

“Since you saved me,” she says. “Well… Hm. You didn’t save me. But you stopped a heist at the Central Bank a couple of months ago and I was there. I could've died without you.”

Aw, crap on a stick.

“Do you… do you know who I am?”

“You’re Red Robin,” she repeats.

“He’s asking about his identity behind the mask.”

The way she glares at Jason doesn’t suggest she had been shaking in fear moments ago. “He’s Red Robin,” she insists. “I don’t need anything else.”

“If you don’t know… how do you have so many…” Hood gestures vaguely at her creepy corkboard.

“I did detective work,” she says and glances at Red Robin as if expecting a pat on the back. “I noticed you always go on patrol on mondays, wednesdays, fridays and saturdays. Then if I wandered around long enough… It was just a matter of hard work and bit of luck, really.”

Damn. Now that Tim thinks about it, the one time he went on patrol spontaneously was also the night Vicki Vale found him by coincidence rather than magically knowing what happened.

“Fuuuuck,” Hood groans. “I told B patrol schedule was a dumb idea!” Then, in a deep growly voice, “ It’s a matter of efficiency Hood, don’t be paranoid. Who’s paranoid now, Batloser?”

“Not the time, Hood.”

“Right. Proceed.”

Red Robin sighs. “Why did you sell my pictures to Vicki Vale?”

At that, Lisa looks suddenly ashamed. “I.. I’m sorry. I thought… I thought you were involved with him and I panicked. I thought… I thought seeing what it would do to your reputation would make you see that he’s not good enough for you.”

“Rude.”

“Hood.”

“What? She is.”

“I was trying to learn more about him, you know? I was. When I found out he was your brother, I realized you had no option, right? Family is family. I even told the news again to clean your record.”

So he had a stalker. A stalker concerned about his love life, no less, that’s… great. Just great. Of all the scenarios he considered they’d have to face, this is not one of them. Before he decides what to do, however, Lisa speaks up again.

“You sound so… nice.”

Tim stares at her in confusion, unsure whether to thank her or not. Regardless, she didn’t sound like she was complimenting him.

“I mean… aren’t I supposed to be?”

“No! I mean… you’re… you’re dark and brooding and serious and you don’t waste time with civilians unless forced…” She frowns and Tim figures she’s thinking about the night with the strippers. “You’re… the night.”

Jason snorts. Tim punches his knee again. “Lisa, I’m pretty sure you’re thinking of Batman, not me.”

Her expression twists in such fury both vigilantes prepare to restrain her, but instead of directing her anger at them, Lisa scoffs.

“Don’t get me started on Batman! All that crap about being mysterious and working alone? Then he joins the freaking Justice League? Just… Batman, in the middle of a bunch of rainbow wearing clowns. And then… all those freaking kids. Why does he have so many kids?”

“Lady, we ask ourselves that everyday,” Tim admits.

Lisa is wearing the same expression Krystal had when Red Robin denied his relationship with Hood.

“I’m sorry, Lisa, I’m grateful that you admire me, but you can’t keep following me like this.”

Her eyes teary again, Lisa swallows dry. “Clearly, if you’re sorry about it.”

They can’t exactly take her to Arkham for taking pictures. Tim feels less bad about the whole thing when the woman stands and starts telling them in a very loud voice to get the hell out of her house.

“Fine,” Jason says, heading to the corkboard. “But I’m taking this.”

“Take it,” she shouts. “I don’t need it anymore. You’re just like Batman!”

And that’s how Red Hood and Red Robin find themselves standing in the middle of a dusty hallway, Hood with a conspiracy board under his arm.

Well, that happened.

In the end, Steph was furious about them going to the stalker’s house by themselves, but there was not a lot she could do except doodle on every picture of the stalker board.

There must be something very wrong with their sense of humor, because their text group becomes a mess of jokes about the stalker Robin being stalked. At that Tim has no problem exercising Jason’s lessons in holding grudges and refuses to help them with any of their cases unless they stop it. The thing is that all of them find the whole thing hilarious.

All of them except Duke.

“Give it a while,” Tim tells him. “You’re the most recent acquisition to the family. In due time your idea of funny will be just as warped as ours.”

“Hm. When was the last time you slept, Timmy?” Duke asks.

“Tuesday.”

“Today is Tuesday.”

“Hahahaha yeah.”

“... Jaaaaasooon! Come over here! Tim is going into The Ring territory! Do something about it!”

Bruce doesn’t find it funny either. He isn’t happy that there’s a deranged meta he didn’t know about, but Tim thinks that was the least surprising part of the whole ordeal. He reckons a lot of metas doesn’t want to be a hero or a villain, they’re just regular people that live regular lives and happened to win in the metagene lottery.

Or… well. In Lisa’s case, not so regular.

And that’s why upon hearing the story for the first time, Bruce completely freaks out. He starts considering possibilities from scaring the woman as Batman - “That’s a terrible idea, dad, you heard she likes that shit,” says Dick over facetime - or having her arrested - “Father, having bad taste in men is hardly a crime. She has yet to do anything to harm Timothy” Damian helpfully reminds him - and finally to fill out a restraining order - “For who, Karen?” Jason snaps. “Red Robin? Or you want to walk into that nut job and tell her she’s not allowed near Tim Drake-Wayne?”

Long story short, it’s chaos. Tim has had enough of a crazy night, so he sits back near the training area of the cave and sips the tea Alfred made him. Bruce is doing Tim’s stressed out circuit, pacing back and forth around the cave while his children follow him - Damian is holding the phone higher than his head so Dick can talk to Bruce at eye level - and they try to talk him out of doing anything stupid.

Most of them, anyway. It looks like Duke is definitely looking into the possibility of a restraining order.

Cass detaches herself from the mess and heads towards Tim. She looks calm, as Cass always does, and some of that calm transfers to him. When she takes a seat by his side, he smiles at her.

“Okay?” she asks.

Tim shrugs. “Weirded out, mostly. I’ll be fine.”

She points at her then signs Tim’s house as a question. She’s asking him if he wants her to come over.

While Cass is one hell of a bodyguard, Tim thinks of Steph, who’s most definitely playing with his video games back at home, and of Jason, whose schedule mostly matches Tim’s, hence he is, more often than not, at one shout of distance. Tim can’t think of any place that feels safer than his home right now.

“I’m fine. Jay and Steph are taking care of me. I’ll just have to be twice as careful during patrol,” he says.

Cass nods, satisfied. She gives him a forehead kiss and leans against his side. The two of them watch their family yell at each other for the next ten minutes, matching serene smiles on their faces.

Bruce settles for keeping Lisa under occasional watch.

Barbara stalks her online and finds that Lisa has left a Red Robin fanclub (Tim did not know those existed) and closed all of her threads on the Red Robin subreddit (Tim knew about those, but kept his distance), making it seem that learning that Red Robin is just a polite-ish kid really killed her love.

Bruce says he’ll keep tabs on her because he know she’s a meta, it’s not like he’s being overprotective, he totally knows Tim can take care of himself, really.

Other than that, Bruce is way too happy about Jason’s new living arrangement. He even almost smiles.

Tim… is fine. The whole thing is creepy, for sure, but he finds out that his siblings making so many jokes about it makes it easier to handle. Yay for their unhealthy coping mechanisms.

He doesn’t think he will ever be okay with media, though. It’s annoying enough that he has to deal with reporters as Tim Drake-Wayne, he definitely doesn’t need the attention as Red Robin.

Luckily for him, his siblings help him with that too. One time he’s wrapping a gang bust with Nightwing when a reporter comes running towards them, begging for a few answers. Red Robin cringes inwardly realizing there are no close buildings to use his grapple, but before he can say anything, Nightwing squeezes his shoulder.

“Go, Timmy. I’ve got this.”

Tim smile. “Thanks, Dick.”

And he leaves the silent and swift way only a Bat can do.

Things are great. As great as they can be in Gotham, at least. Tim wakes up at 9am - an early time for a vigilante, but he got at least 5 hours of sleep, so that’s something - and heads to the kitchen. He finds Steph (who still swears she doesn’t live with them) and Jason bickering over pancakes they’re making. Smiling to himself, Tim mumbles a good morning and starts washing the dirty dishes from last night.

The peaceful morning is interrupted by Steph’s phone buzzing. She use a paper towel to clean her hands before checking it and…

“Uh… Timbers?” she calls.

He freezes, the pan he’s washing suddenly forgotten. “What now?”

Steph is trembling with contained laughter when she hands him the phone. Duke just sent her a link to a news article. Tim clicks and finds himself staring at the headline RIVALRY BETWEEN HEROES? followed by a clear picture of Nightwing and a blurry shot of Red Robin.

The article follows:

After dealing with an infamous gang of contrabandists that operated near Gotham’s harbor, Nightwing and Red Robin went their separate ways without much courtesy. Despite the short collab, it appears that Red Robin didn’t appreciate Nighwing’s help, his farewell words being a sarcastic “thanks” followed by calling Bludhaven’s hero a “dick”.

Tim raises his eyes to the other two. Steph is hiding her face into the crook of Jason’s neck, her shoulders still trembling a bit. Having read the article over Steph’s shoulder, Jason is biting his lip.

Tim deadpans: “This is the funniest shit that ever happened to me.”

The three of them explode in laughter and they cackle for a good minute, until the three of them are breathless and their cheeks hurt.

“I-I want to print that and frame it,” Steph manages between giggles. “Let’s hang it on the living room.”

“Good… ahaha… Good work, Timbers,” Jason says, smiling wide. “For that, you can have extra pancakes.”

Tim is still grinning when he goes back to his dish duty. Maybe being under the media attention isn't so bad after all.

#batfam #red robin #tim drake #jason todd #red hood #stephanie brown #red bros #poteto writing #lmao here take this

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