#spoiler alert: it's a dick pic
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sga-owns-my-soul · 8 months ago
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wow made it three whole months at the new job before things went to absolute shit and i want to quit
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jmdbjk · 5 months ago
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I'm telling you, their life flashed before their eyes...
The staffs' I mean...
WARNING: CONTINUED POSSIBLE SPOILER ALERT! I may or may not mention "Are You Sure?" scenes in detail and their outcomes during these long rambling messy posts beginning with the next sentence.
While on the kayaks, JK flipped over almost immediately. this sequence will be legendary in my mind:
All is well so far. Let's go kayaking! After being assisted by the Black Hall Outfitter staff, including Mr. Gino, they take off.
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At this point, staff is walking away, ready to get on a boat to follow. Everything is cool. But something's not right. Why is the horizon at a 45 degree angle?
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Staff has not noticed yet...
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Jungkook's $1700 Balenciaga fancy pants are about to get soaked.
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Jimin does not see what's going on behind him. Yet.
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I can read his mind: "WTF?"
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Staff finally notices and thoughts of living on the street start to flash through their heads...
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Jimin can't believe what he's seeing...staff is sprinting into action...
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He was first worried about his phone but one of the staff had it.
Staff thinking "I'm too old for this shit."
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Drowned Rat Jungkook was not on my bingo card. I need a new bingo card.
Meanwhile, Jimin fearlessly paddles out to the middle of the river wearing his $70,000 Patek Philippe watch on his wrist... gasp.
Please take a moment to appreciate that gorgeous sunset in the background.
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Seems some of Jimin's Slytherin has rubbed off on our little Ravenclaw (I know that's debatable but that's for another post).
Jimin was probably clenching so tight that flipping over would have been disaster for him.
Jungkook gets back in the kayak and is on his way... staff breathes a sigh of relief that they won't be jobless tomorrow.
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Remember when he said this?
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And this is how we know Jungkook is able to move past his own missteps.
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But still desires some sort of collateral retribution from those more fortunate than he:
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And this is the true and lasting take away from this little incident:
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A moment that can be a beautiful memory.
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And this is about the time this moment happened:
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Now we know.
Jungkook was about to put on his royal blue Salty to the Core t-shirt. He wasn't taking off a shirt, he had already taken off his wet shirt and he was about to put on a dry one. That shirt in his hands is not black. And now we know Jimin was about to put on his turquoise one. And now we know what kind of fun they'd had up to that point. And now we know Jimin was struggling with a stomach bug when this pic was snapped. And now we know that Jeep parked next to them was theirs. And now we know they were about to head to the campsite. And now we know why this photo was special enough to Jimin that he posted it on his Instagram for Jungkook's birthday. They'd just had so much fun doing something they never get to do. Definitely a cherished memory for them. It was so endearing to me. I feel privileged knowing so much about this particular day. I hope they are doing all right today...
Things I cannot relate to and will never happen to me:
• Driving over a bridge not realizing Jimin and Jungkook are the ones on those kayaks down there on the river.
• Shopping at Dick's Sporting Goods and running into Jimin and Jungkook while they shop for mens size small shorts and Nike slides.
• Sitting at a bar at my neighborhood craft brewery while global stars next to me sample several pale ales and hard sodas.
Again, I will end it here as I've used up the posts image limit. I will be back with part three of Episode 1.
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strong-with-the-sarcasm · 10 months ago
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part 16 - but I know where to start
“Feeling my way through the darkness, guided by a beating heart. I can’t tell where the journey will end, but I know where to start.” -Wake Me Up by Avicii
Regent Masterlist Part 15
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Was it a cop-out to summon Jazz back to the Far Frozen? Yes. Did Danny particularly care? Nope! 
Jason was comfortable, propped up with a book Ghostwriter who had popped by to personally deliver. How the ghost had known about Jason Phantom wasn’t going to question, but he suspected GW kept an eye on the bookworms that passed through the Realms- or at least those close to the “Royal family”. Phantom wasn’t much for reading, not unless it was space-related, but he enjoyed listening to the Liminal man reading out loud. He had a brash voice, accented with a cadence like those from Crime Alley, but it only underscored the passion he held for reading. Phantom didn’t interrupt him once, not even when the halfa pulled out his ecto-phone and texted Ellie. 
(His little sister was in Kansas, spending time with another clone she’d literally run into.) 
Almost another full day's cycle passed before Phantom realized Jason had fallen back asleep, a book resting open on his broad chest and soft snores coming from the man. 
Yeah, he could see how he and Jazz fit together so well. 
There was just something about the Once-Revenant, a part of what made him Jason, that resonated with the Phantom. It’s what made him talk to the man as Red Hood, feel comfortable enough to stay in his company for so long, trust him with his older sister- the person who raised him. 
(Spent her birthday money to get him those cheap plastic glow-in-the-dark stars.) 
(Taught him how to read.) 
(Held him as the nightmares of his death shook him to his core.) 
(Did not fear him.) 
(Not as Phantom, Danny, or Dan.)
(Loves him.) 
(Mourns him.) 
(He would never tell her, but he understood how Dan could succumb to grief.)
(Jazz was his.) 
(His first friend, his true mother, his rock.) 
(She wouldn’t have claimed Regency without that tie.) 
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Remix & Original chat 
Remix: Lol hows weenie Original:   jasons x3 ur size pipsqeak                    Remix:  ur point?  Original:  lol hes ok                                 frosty says he got hurt wth shrpnel                        new healed core + shrapnel = bad time Remix:  sucks 2 b him  Original:               so tru        Whre r u? Remix: omw 2 spain barcelona Original: ooh send pics if u need me call Remix: pics or nay gotcha txt u l8r luv u  Original: love u 2
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Safely back in the living Realm and tucked away in Jason’s apartment, Jazz and Danny tried to investigate the bomb- unfortunately there was nothing for them to do but wait. 
On the upside, the Justice League was about to hit the UN full force with all the subtlety of a tsunami and who had front row seats to the drama? 
Yep, the Regent.  Jazz wasn’t exactly thrilled that her presence was requested, even though it was on the path to the desired outcome the Nightingale siblings had fought for, but both her soulmate boyfriend and little brother would be by her side as support. 
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The Birds and the Bats Group Chat
Zombie: I lived bitch Spoiler-Alert: Jason!  Fly-Like-A-Dick: Little Wing!  Blood_Heir: Todd. Zombie: don’t sound too excited there demon brat.  Blood_Heir: Never.  Sleep_When_Im_Dead: Where have you been? Zombie: Stayed overnight at my Docs for observation.  Fly-Like-A-Dick: For three days? Blood_Heir: Fail to find that humorous Todd.  Zombie: wasn’t meant to be a joke brat.  I was actually at my Docs.  Zombie: Got a shovel talk from my girlfriends little brother too.                                     Spoiler-Alert:  Whoa GIRLFRIEND!!!! 😱 Jason!  Why is this the first were hearing this??? Fly-Like-A-Dick: Little Wing!!!!!! Quiet_Dancer: 🤗  Zombie:  At least Cass and Dickiebird are happy for me                                    Spoiler-Alert:  Ecstatic! But details! Now.                                                      Zombie: No.                                              Fly-Like-A-Dick: Is she a redhead??? Sleep_When_Im_Dead:  Jasmine Nightingale.                                                      Zombie: Babs.                                               Oracle_of_Gotham:  On it.  [member Sleep_When_Im_Dead has been blocked from the group.]  Spoiler-Alert:  too late!!!!!! Cass  with me! Quiet_Dancer: 🫡 Oracle_of_Gotham: DENIED Batdad:  Welcome back Jaylad.                                                        Zombie:                                           Old man       You and I need to have a talk with words                                              Fly-Like-A-Dick: battle stations everyone!!!
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Council of Uncaged Birds
Queen_Regent: Ellie, I want you to meet Jason.  Officially meet him.  WanderingPrincess: eh??? temp said wasnt srs Queen_Regent: Danny No InfiniteStarPrince: Danny YES Frosty said they are  soulmates!!!!!! WanderingPrincess: 🤯😱 wha th fuck!!!1 Queen_Regent: language!  WanderingPrincess: ENGLISH imma get a shovel gotta undead weenie 2 bury.
Template. [user InfiniteStarPrince has left the chat]  WanderingPrincess: coward Queen_Regent: I have many regrets.  WanderingPrincess: u luv us 👻
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Lady & Knight chat Lady: Jay remember when I told you I wanted you to meet Ellie?  Knight: She’s bringing a shovel isn’t she.  Lady: I love how brilliant you are.  Knight: I aim to please. 
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Lady & Knight chat Knight: you patrolling tonight? Lady: wasnt planning on it Knight: wanna meet me? Lady: same time same place? Knight: you know it
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The abolishment of the Anti-Ecto Acts officially happened at three pm on a dreary Gotham Tuesday. Jazz was cuddled with Jason on his couch, dozing off to his heartbeat as he read Pride and Prejudice for the thousandth time. The comfortable silence they had wrapped themselves in only occasionally broken by Jason turning a page was completely shattered when Jazz’s phone rang with the Ghostbusters theme song. 
“Danny?” Jazz answered surprised, “School isn’t out yet, what’s wrong?” She was greeted by Danny’s heaving cries as he replied. 
“Batman, he- he did it!” Danny sobbed, “He saved us.” 
It clicked then. The Dark Knight had completed the task he was entrusted with by a Spirit of Protection, the Once and Future Star King, and unknowingly kept the promise a ghost made to a young Jasmine Fenton. 
One day my son will stop this. All of this. You only need to be strong. Take care of yourself and your brother. I promise. 
She had waited years for the promise to be fulfilled, the sworn promise of the dead to a living child. Jasmine was a patient soul, but she had still been a child that night in Gotham. 
(The Drs. Fenton believing the stories about a ghostly vigilante patrolling the streets, a never aging child by their side.) (Dragging their children with them. ) (Hungry and cold.) (A dead man who swore his son would end their torment one day.)
(She should’ve known it wouldn’t come fast enough to save Danny.) 
How was she to know the ghost was speaking of the Realms inhabitants, not the abused and neglected children of Ghost Hunters? How was she to know that the hope such a promise kindled wasn’t hers to keep?  Jason wrapped his arms around her, the book set aside and her phone gently taken from her grasp to be put on speaker so they could both talk to her little brother. Danny had dissolved from heaving sobs to muffled hiccups, seemingly now that he’d shared the news with his sister. 
“He really did,” she muttered. “He really did it.” 
(The furry fucker actually did it.) (She’d known that he was going to try, but humans are stubborn creatures.)
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A/N: Hi! Welcome to an update for the Regent. Just to be fully transparent with each of my readers - The Regent is still on Hiatus.
I have deleted so much of my writing because I don't like the flow/dialogue/pacing. Original ending thrown out and rewritten twice- still don't care for it. Who knew something other than Angst would be so difficult.
(Not me!)
Having said that, this entry is of course beta'd by the wonderful @meditating-cat who has put up with my random messages.
(You are amazing!)
(In all honesty, I wish I could just skip right to the ending because at least I know 100% I can get it just right....eventually.)
Thanks for reading and happy easter!
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thranduilsperkybutt · 1 year ago
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requirements.txt=unsatisfied
Pic source: 1
Pairings: Johnny Silverhand/V!Reader; Exceedingly minor Goro Takemura/V!Reader alluded to Warnings: Endgame spoilers; Arasaka!ending; I take liberties with the ending (everyone lives AU); yearning; fighting; nsfw banter (no actual explicit behaviors); angst with a happy ending; mentions of canon-typical drug use and violence Word Count: 9,936 words Reader Gender: Female Author: Meg Summary: Johnny always wants a lot of things--- a smoke, a good fuck, for you to turn the radio to 107.3 instead of that new age crap you like. In a perfect world, he'd like to have his own body back, too, but this isn't a perfect world. This is Night City, and he doesn't know if he'll ever be able to forgive you for going and doing this. Turns out that being in love requires being unsatisfied. A/N: Look. I finally finished playing the game as corpo!V and I will not live with these endings, alright? I'm gonna make my own.
“Think they make shitty motels like this just for screw-ups like us?”
You make a point to continue staring at the ceiling of the ‘shitty motel’ room, deep breathing the mildew and age-old cigarettes. He isn’t wrong, but you don’t want to hear it right now. He always has a way with words. Wiping your hands down your face, you do your best to ignore him, but Johnny wasn’t the most dismissible parasite you’ve ever had.
“’Parasite’s’ talkin’ to you, fuck-up,” he flicks his cigarette butt at you in retaliation for the thoughts in your head and it glitches through your thigh with a fuzzy tickle in your neurons. “Do ya’ really think Arasaka is gonna’ just let you waltz away after grabbin’ that stuck-up bitch princess of theirs? You’re fucked.”
“Was fucked before that, Johnny--- royally, if you’ll remember,” you groan, and turn away from him. He appears on the other side of the bed, leaning over it to glare at you. “Got you to show for it, after all.”
“Why are you so chill about this? Takemura fucked you both by deciding to take a life-sized souvenir from your trip to Cherry Town---"
“Cherry Blossom Market---” he barely acknowledges your interruption; you doubt he cares about the situation past hearing himself talk either way.
“--- and you’re just gonna’ do what? Sit here like a ditched date, waitin’ by the phone for that ‘Saka scum to call?”
“Johnny,” you push yourself up into a sitting position, headache threatening a presence at the back of your skull. The edges of his shoulders have that glitchy quality you’ve come to know follows his movements at times when he crosses his arms, but his glare is clear as ever.
“What? Don’t like me callin’ him that?” he rolls his eyes as he certainly feels your annoyance spike, “Jeez, didn’t think you could ride ‘Saka’s dick any harder, but if you literally want to---”
“What crawled up your holographic ass and died tonight?” you bark back, and the glint behind his eyes tells you that this is what he wanted all along. A fight, interaction, anything other than you just melting into the stained mattress of this motel room while the fan drones overhead in excruciating monotony. Johnny’s at his worst when he’s bored or cornered, you’ve found.
“I don’t know, V, maybe the fact that while I’m livin’ in your head, I’ve gotta’ listen to all your disgusting little thoughts about that Grade-A asshole? I’ve never had a dry spell that’d make me wanna’ sleep with a corpo drone, but maybe old habits die hard for you, huh?” You try to ignore his jab at your corporate background, but you know he just can’t help himself, “At this rate, alert a joytoy pronto, because I think I’ll throw up if I gotta’ watch you eyefuck your ronin anym---"
“You’re so fucking annoying sometimes, Johnny, you know that?” you rub your temples, trying to bite back the heat in your cheeks. No telling if it was from embarrassment at his inevitable acknowledgement of your major-league crush on Goro, or an oncoming stroke. At this point you are wishing for the stroke.
“You say that, but you’re not havin’ to watch how pathetic you look waitin’ on Takemura to call. Shit, even that cop you turned down would be better than this guy.”
Rising to your knees, you point a finger directly against his chest, feeling the fuzzy presence of your fried synapses mistaking him for something real at your fingertips, “Know what? Maybe I will fuck Goro the next time I see him, just to screw with you. Maybe I’ll finally get some peace and quiet when you slink back to God-knows-where to hide in my head while I lay back and take it from the big, bad, ‘Saka scum.’”
“You wouldn’t dare,” he growls down at you, the fire in his eyes flickering from your own to your lips and back again. “If you wanted me gone, you’d’ve taken those omega blockers by now.”
“Don’t tempt me. I’d take a half-dose of pseudoendotrizine just so I could kick your ass, if it wouldn’t mean kicking mine, too.”
“Now, there’s a thought,” he reaches out, pushing you back by a phantom grip on your shoulder. Your body flings itself onto the mattress without a thought, “But I don’t need a pill to kick your ass, remember?”
“Asshole,” you grumble defeatedly, but his anger seems to dissipate, if only a little.
“Bitch,” he chuckles, and it’s a short sound of disbelief. “Don’t pout like a damn kid.”
“Anyone ever tell you that you’re kind of mean, Silverhand?” you look down to where he still stood beside--- no, knelt onto, now--- the bed. His lips are quirked into a slight smile, one brow raised like he doesn’t quite understand just why all your annoyance has seemed to sink away into the dingy carpet and rotting walls of this place. Maybe it’s the exhaustion settling into your bones?
Or perhaps it’s the uneasy feeling in your gut when he looks at you. Despite the mountain of resentment your soul screams that you have every right to have at him for stealing your life away from you with every waking second, you can’t seem to bring yourself to hate him.
He clicks his teeth thoughtfully, dipping his weight onto the knee he has on the bed, but it doesn’t creak under his weight or acknowledge his presence, “It may have come up, once or twice.”
He isn’t really here, the soft static framing his hard edges reminds you.
“Why, then?” Why does he keep falling into the same pattern? Why does he treat you like this? Why does he look at you like that afterwards?
You don’t ask any of those questions, but you don’t have to. He’s in your head, after all--- but you think he’d be able to figure them out even if he didn’t have a front-row seat to your every thought. You still aren’t sure how much of your consciousness he is privy to, but you know it’s enough for him to know more about you than any other person ever has.
At this point, he might know your mind better than you do.
You wish you could read his half as well.
“Maybe I just don’t like watchin’ you run head-first into what’s bound to be another shit-show’s all, choom,” he deflects, but his eyes don’t turn from your gaze. There’s something guarded in them, sure, but they soften all the same.
You sit on his bullshit explanation for a few seconds, tasting the thought on your tongue, “Is that what we are, Johnny? Chooms?” It’s an unsatisfactory descriptor, but you don’t know if there’s a word in the English language that can accurately describe what you are to each other.
“I don’t know, V. Are we?”
Before you can even think of an answer, the sound of your holo ringing breaks through your ears and Goro’s image appears in your optics.
Johnny huffs and just like that, any softness in his gaze disintegrates with a roll of his eyes, “Go on--- know you’re giddy as a schoolgirl to answer that.”
“Fuck you, Johnny,” you grumble, before picking up the line and watching him straighten up off the bed before disappearing from your gaze in a static glitch. “Goro---”
“V, meet me, quickly as you can. I’m sending the coordinates.”
---
Your fingers run over the markings of Johnny’s initials you’d just carved against the metal. It’s jagged, raw, and as good a headstone as he was ever going to get, given you’d probably never find where his body had been truly laid to rest. In a city like Night City, after so many years? He’s lucky enough that Arasaka had dumped his body at all, instead of incinerating it like most folks these days.
“There, how’s that for a marker?”
Johnny leans back from where he’d been moping and gestures to your makeshift headstone, “Say this was my real grave, what would you write? ‘Here lies Johnny Silverhand…’”
The words roll around your head in tandem with the pit of dread in your stomach. It didn’t feel right talking to him like he was dead, even though the rational part of your mind knew it was true. The real Johnny Silverhand died more than fifty years ago, and you were left talking to a ghost--- a copy that seemed close enough to the real deal, but you never would be able to know if he was a good one. More recently, though, he’s started to seem just as real as the ground you walk on and, while you know that’s something to be deeply worried about, you can’t help but have come to enjoy his company.
When he’s not being an asshole, that is.
For better or worse, he was, ���The guy who saved my life.” You’d been through so much--- everything--- together. It hadn’t been intentional on his part; he’s only a piece of broken prototype tech going haywire in your head, but it was still true. He’s saved you in more ways than one, lately.
The words sink into him, dragging his shoulders down like the same ache you feel in your soul. His eyes meet yours beneath his sunglasses, holding you in a regret so deep that you think it will swallow you both with the knowledge that he’ll be the death of you.
Johnny reaches up, metal fingertips clicking on his shades in a way that’s so honest in your ears that it’s difficult to remember it’s just another one of your disconnected mind’s lies anymore, “You don’t know how much I want that to be true.” He pulls the barrier from his face to dangle between his knees as his free hand wipes at the perpetual dirt on his skin, “Listen, I realize I’ve fucked up a lot of things. Either let down or used every last person who gave me their trust--- blind, selfish bastard that I was--- but I’ve managed one thing, for now. Not to fuck this up. What we have.”
Johnny’s always wanted a lot of things--- a smoke, a good fuck, for you to turn the radio to 107.3 instead of that new age crap you like. He's rather demanding, day in, day out.
You've been privy to his every request as it flits through your shared head for long enough that he’s come to annoy you nearly as much as he's grown on you. He’s like moss overtaking a stone, so slow that you don’t realize it until he’s covered all of you. He’s changing you into something neither of you can quite recognize anymore, and as the days pass, you worry you’ll never be able to wash him away and return to the person you were before him.
Worse, you don’t know if you will want to.
“What do we have, Johnny?” you sigh, looking up at the light-polluted sky. You weren’t far enough out of town to see stars, just the dim void and flickering city lights reflected on the clouds above. Maybe if you were at camp with the Aldecados, you’d spot a star among the dusky sky. Maybe life would seem simpler, easier, “I don’t know what you want from me.” All you know for sure is that you were growing so tired of the fight. There’s this hurt in your chest; you can’t tell if it’s yours or his. Maybe it’s something you share. Maybe this is what he means.
Or something close to it, “Most of who I thought were my friends, well, it turns out they couldn’t hardly stand to be in the same room with me. But you?”  You hear him pause, but you don’t dare to look at him. There’s a stammer in your chest, and you’re terrified at what it means, “You’re forced to be right fuckin’ here, twenty-four-seven, and you don’t seem to hate my living guts.”
This silence is something you can only achieve on the outskirts of the city, but you know it would be worse if you were further away. It’s almost excruciating, being alone with your thoughts--- being alone with his.
“There a point in there?” your heart aches for him, and you know he can feel it. It’s more than pity, more than friendship, but you try your hardest not to think of what it could possibly mean--- let alone, say it.
He knows, though. Of course he does. He has to.
“Just that… I think you’re my first real choom, even though you’re a real bitch sometimes.”
Your head lulls forward, and it takes all your strength to muster a glare at the pained smile dancing at his lips. There’s more to it than that, you both know it, but you’re grateful that he’s feeling somewhat merciful tonight--- it was something you didn’t know he had in him.
Maybe it’s only something he has in him when it comes to you.
“Chooms, huh?” tilting your head, you pretend to mull it over like it’s a proposition of eddies from a fixer. Playing it off with a shrug, you concede, “I could get used to being Johnny Silverhand’s choom, I guess, even though he was a total dick at first.”
“As if you didn’t deserve it,” Johnny smirks.
“Uh, remind me again, who’s been whining about missing his smokes since day one?” it’s a half-hearted blow, and his widening grin shows it. “Better yet, beggin’ me to get my rocks off?”
“My own personal hell is being stuck inside a non-smoker, and it doesn’t help that you’re practically a nun,” you toss a rock at him for that, and it goes straight through his chest like he isn’t even there. He isn’t, but he grins at you anyways, “Still… who’d’ve thought we’d make it this far?”
You sit there for a beat, feeling your own smile turn at your lips, before sighing, “You know, if you really want a marker, we could get you one at the columbarium.”
“For what, an empty box?” shaking his head, he puts his shades back on to perch atop his nose.
“Please, I have more of your stuff than even your most devoted fanboys. I don’t need it all. We could, I don’t know, ‘retire’ something of yours there. You know, as a symbol,” his gaze weighs heavy on you, and you can’t for the life of you understand what’s going through his mind. It frustrates you nearly as much as his stare seems to, and you shift your gaze back to the sky in your attempt to escape his holographic scrutiny.
“Let me guess, you’ll bring me flowers every day?” it surprises you that his tone isn’t mocking, but rather curious. “Would you visit his grave?” he seems to ask.
Trying to lighten the mood, you tease, “You know me, too busy trying not to die for all that.” You look back to him with a wink, “Plus, preem flowers are expensive these days, choom. ‘Fraid you’ll have to settle for the synth ones. Besides, you seem like a cheap date to me.”
“Bitch.”
“Just say, ‘Thank you.’”
It’s as close as either of you will come to what you really want to say.
---
From the roof of Misty’s building, it’s almost as if the troubles of the city no longer exist. You think you understand why Jackie found his choice up here. It seems as good a place as any to choose between life and death.
You would have to come to yours, too, soon. Maybe you already have, and you just don’t want to admit it.
The thought dwells in your head, and it feels like the only choice that makes sense.
“You’re not considering that. Please, tell me you’re not seriously considering going to those bastards again for help,” Johnny’s voice tears you from your dreadful stare over the neon Night City advertisements staring back at you. Promising everything from NiCola to the market version of the prototype Relic crammed in your head. “You’re trying to make sense of something that makes zero damn sense!”
You think he might wind up hating you forever, for this.
“Takemura said---” you begin, but he cuts you off as he stands from his spot on the ledge overlooking the city and takes up pacing.
“Fuck that guy!” Johnny rounds on you, fiery as ever--- but there’s something more terrible in his eyes; a grief that only comes from knowing he won’t be able to change your mind. “You’re just takin’ the easy way out! Those ‘Saka bastards won’t stay true to their word, you know. All they do is lie, and they’ll keep lying to you so long as it gets them what they want from you. You can’t really believe they’ll help you or me!”
The truth is, you’re too tired and you don’t know what’s worse: the taste of blood on your tongue, or the look of disappointment in his eyes.
You should be at least used to the blood by now.
“I’m dying, Johnny. Hanako is the only person who can maybe help us. Name someone else. Anyone! They made this tech---”
“They’re only gonna’ hurt you. We can do this a different way,” he stops pacing to stand so close that you can swear his boots touch yours. It’s as if you could feel the heat radiating off him, but that may just be the fever settling deathly into your skin, “Hell, give me the keys and I’ll get us to Mikoshi. I’ll burn this whole fuckin’ city to the ground to get you there and I’ll throw the pieces of you back together myself! I’ll gladly die trying---”
“But I don’t want you to die, either,” you fight back the tears at the thought of it, and he huffs down at you in utter exasperation, “can’t you get that?”
“Think they’ll do any better by me at Arasaka?” his chuckle is humorless, coming strained from the back of his throat. “You don’t believe that.”
“I can cut us a deal…” you look down, away from him, blinking out beyond where he stands towards the city lights. You don’t want to fight with him right now. You don’t think you can.
“With what leverage? Deals are only good so long as you have the upper hand, V,” he kneels into your eyeline, reaching out to grasp your chin in two silver fingers and turning you to face him fully. It’s gotten to the point that his hands on your skin feel akin to something real, dulled synapses firing with every spark of his hands on your skin. It’s how you know you’re close to the end. “Who is gonna’ be in your corner after they get everything they want?”
“Goro’s a man of his word.”
“You’re so fuckin’ naïve. Just as dumb as you were when you took that bullet to the brain from Dex, and I had to save your ass then, too,” Johnny growls your name like he hates you for it, but who knew how much you would come to welcome the end? Because when he frustratedly drags you forward by a harsh grip at the back of your head to eclipse his lips over yours, you can feel it. Him. In the burnt neurons of your addled mind, he is there against you--- kissing you with death on the edges of his lips, in all the heavy grief and anger that your choice has brought forth in him. It’s a terrible knowledge that pours from you into him of how much you’ve come to love him, and how desperately you know he’ll hate you for this, because maybe he’s right; maybe you really are naïve for wanting to believe in some way out of this.
He gasps against your lips like it wrecks him to the core; voice hoarse with the emotion as he curses, “Damn, you’re one stubborn bitch.”
“Inherited only your best traits, Johnny,” it’s just as dry on your tongue, and you lift your hand that has been clutching the omega blockers to your lips. You want to say it--- tell him in words how much you care for him. Instead, you murmur against his lips, “Please, don’t be mad,” and swallow the pills.
“I got a feeling you’re gonna’ regret this, choom, and I won’t be there to help you,” he leans away, and you feel the drugs start to kick in when his voice becomes more distant. “Don’t do this. Miracles like the one you’re hopin’ for don’t happen for screw-ups like us, you know.”
“Trust me.”
“I wish I didn’t trust you at all,” he sounds just as tired as you do when he says your name one last time before you blink and he’s gone. The bitter aftertaste of the pills tastes like betrayal on your tongue, and you already know Johnny will haunt you for the rest of your days.
You’re quickly reminded of why you’ve always hated taking the omega blockers.
It takes everything you have left not to sob at the feeling, like you’ve lost a limb--- gone numb and tingling painfully with the ghost of where he was. It’s as if everything is muted, including the deepest parts of yourself. You’re in a bad way, and you know you don’t have much longer now.
So, you find yourself committing to the desperate choice you’ve made, but you don’t call Hanako.
Instead, you call the only corpo you trust besides yourself, and hope it isn’t stupid to do so.
Takemura.
---
He is dressed in all white when he comes to find you at Misty’s Esoterica, looking like a harbinger of death in every sense of the word, “You… look like shit.”
“Don’t look half bad yourself, Goro,” you chuckle, but it turns into a wracking cough that leaves you with a more urgent taste of blood at your lips.
“Are you in any shape to negotiate?” he wonders, but it’s not threatening--- more of a genuine concern displayed with the arch of his brow. Johnny may disagree with you, but you still dare to think him a good man.
“Not in much shape to do anything, anymore, but I know exactly what I’m useful for. My eddies are on Hanako knowing this, too,” you lean on the arm he offers when you stumble on your way to the car. “After all, she sent you. Smart woman.”
“I would have come even had she not,” Goro confesses, pausing with his metal-laced fingertips on the back door. When you shoot him a questioning look, he offers you only a simple, “We have done much work to not see this through to the end, yes?”
“Who’d’ve thought we’d make it this far?”
Goro nods in agreement, before you’re sliding into the car behind Anders Hellman and hoping the Swede knows half of what he thinks he does about your condition, “Agreed.”
---
There’s something to be said for dying. It’s not always as bad as people make it out to be.
Some people would consider you dead. You always find yourself wondering what Johnny would think, these days.
You absentmindedly turn the Rubik’s cube in your hand with no real aim at solving it, letting your mind drift in the overly sterile room Arasaka’s finest clinicians have sequestered you to.
“Barbaric,” Goro called it once, but that didn’t stop them from putting you right back here again. The news plays softly on the screen you’ve been allowed to have after they determined it wouldn’t exacerbate your oversensitivity, but not even the privilege of phoning what few friends you have left can eat away at the boredom that’s settled into your bones in this space station. What was there to say, anyway?
Hi, it’s your favorite lab rat again! How’s it going in the real world? I’m going insane up here!
You can’t help but dwell on the thought that maybe Johnny was right about it all. Maybe it isn’t worth living if life is going to be like this.
Arasaka made no guarantees past what you had signed for on the dotted line the day Hanako had again sent Goro solely to break the news that your body was dying even after Johnny’s Relic had been extracted from your mind. It would seem the soft spot you’d held for Goro was well known by the Arasaka heiress. The woman is nothing if not strategic.
Hell, you’d gotten yourself a worse deal that day than you’d gotten for Johnny at the start of this. After all, you’d had nothing left to bargain with by then.
You were technically a construct, now. A lab experiment dreamed up by Arasaka’s best bioengineers and a team of physicians lead by Anders Hellman. Your current body was a multi-billion eurodollar joint Arasaka-Biotechnica venture that had only been put at the top of Hanako’s list when implanting her father’s construct into Yorinobu had gone awry. You’re convinced she would have been content to let you rot on a biochip in Mikoshi for the rest of your existence otherwise. After all, your contract never said when they had to provide you with a body, only that they were obligated to when the technology existed to allow it.
Turns out, rewriting someone else’s psyche does more damage to the physical body than anyone in Arasaka thought it would. You don’t know why it was such a surprise to them all when Yorinobu’s body couldn’t handle it, considering what it did to you. Maybe they just didn’t care, with how desperate they’d been to get any semblance of leadership back.
All you know is that Johnny Silverhand probably rolled over laughing in his grave, wherever it is, when Saburo Arasaka died a second, painful death.
They were using you as a top-secret prototype for Saburo 2.0, as you’ve come to call what will inevitably be the body they attempt to stick him in next. Sure, Arasaka as a company is facing charges in the New United States on Yorinobu’s death--- something about human testing that everyone knows will never stick--- but that will be swept under the rug much like any bad press Arasaka has gotten over this past year, with either cash or bullets dispensed.
“Shit,” you curse as you grow frustrated with the cube, tossing it onto the thin hospital mattress they kept on your bed. Rubbing your eyes as you try to refocus, it still feels strange to not feel the metal embedded in your skin. Worse still, you had to get used to what a fully ‘ganic body felt like again.
“You even human anymore, with all that chrome?” you can almost hear Johnny’s words to you when you got a new set of mantis blades from Vik’s clinic right before heading out for the oncoming fight at Clouds with the Tiger Claws. It was so long ago, now, but it doesn’t feel like it. That’s what Mikoshi does to a person, you figure. It’s hard to fully comprehend that so much time has passed.
Sometimes, you think you do hear him in more than just a memory. Like he’s still there, in your head. The doctors say it will pass with time, but they’ve been wrong before. Safe to say, Johnny literally changed your brain chemistry.
At least some part of you hopes they’re wrong, because you don’t know how you’ll make it in this world without him if Arasaka doesn’t stay true to their word.
It’s like you’ve lost a part of yourself, and you regret it more every day that you’re forced to live in this white box of a test tube that they’ve put you in. You should have died with him at Mikoshi. Gone out in a fiery blaze of glory and torn it all down with you, if only it would’ve made you feel a little better right before the end.
His last words to you had been as you went under the knife, right before they carefully excised him from your brain like a tumor.
“If this plan doesn’t work, Johnny--- If you wind up being right about Arasaka---” you had called to him through the code, as it weaved and curled around his form. It created and destroyed him all at the same time, but Johnny’s frown was still clear as day to you.
“I’m right about Arasaka,” he sounded nearly as exhausted as you had been on that roof the last time you’d talked. Defeated was something you’d never expected to see on him, “See? You haven’t changed at all. Still think you can outsmart the whole world, when you’re really just out of your depth.”
You didn’t want to think of this as a betrayal, but that’s what it was starting to feel like as you marinate in his sadness, “Look… I just want us to part as friends, for now. Just in case I don’t get to see you again after this, I wanted to tell you goodbye as proper friends.”
“Not sure that’s possible, anymore,” cut you to your core.
You wanted to reach for him, through the flickering code, but you didn’t dare. Heartbreak tastes a lot like blood on your tongue, even here.
“That’s what we are, aren’t we?”
“I don’t know, V. I just… don’t know.”
It was all you could remember of the interaction, though you’re certain there had to be more than that. Sometimes, when you dream instead of sleep, bits and pieces of it come back to you. That’s what you think it is, at least.
It’s far too real to be any normal nightmare.
It sounded too familiar when he said things like, “I just wish you’d stayed loyal to yourself,” or, “Those ‘Saka docs are cutting out a piece of us. Something we’ll never get back. It’ll leave a hole,” in those horrible dreams where memory emerges from the subconscious.
Perhaps this is just what you deserve. Your penance. The price you’ve got to pay for your choices, and the deal you made with the devil.
After all, nothing in Night City is ever free.
Multiple lifetimes of suffering, of being forced to go on without him? It’s almost poetic, in a Shakespearean tragedy sort of way. If this body fails, Arasaka will just test your construct in a new one until they get it right.
You’re company property and the Biotechnica cloning program is only in its infancy. Anders Hellman had told you as much himself when you’d asked.
“You’re one of the first successful cases, so far,” was, specifically, what he’d told you. It wasn’t much; Arasaka clearly wanted you in the dark.
You’d already proved too much trouble when left to your own devices, historically.
Have they brought you back before? How many bodies did you live and die in before this one? They could’ve wiped your memory of it, or maybe cut your engram into a million different pieces until something fit. You would never know the truth of what’s been done to you, most likely.
The door to your room slides open with a whirring noise, breaking you from your thoughts when the same scientist who you’ve come to understand is one of your daily handlers walks in, “It’s time for your daily tests.”
You try to not let the sarcasm drip from your tongue, but you’ve been failing at a lot of things these days.
“Always a pleasure to see you, too, Suki.”
You are dead, and this is just purgatory.
---
They eventually shipped you back to earth, “in accordance with the great progress you’ve displayed over these past few months,” as Anders had told it.
Earth was exhausting. Even though the Arasaka lab they had put you in had all the comforts of home, save for the overly-clinical aesthetics, it still took weeks for your body to become accustomed to its own weight. It was only then that you realized the space station’s simulated gravity was slightly less than that on earth, to allow for less pressure on your new joints and bones as your mind settled in. It’s perhaps why you had been able to relearn walking in the first place, because on earth you were much clumsier than you remember ever having been before.
There were bruises on your legs from the amount of times you’d tripped down or stumbled into something. You’re surprised they hadn’t yet put you in a padded room, but you must’ve been making progress, because eventually they sent a familiar face to see you again.
“おはようございます,” without translators installed into your body’s cyberware, the words that fall from Goro’s lips as he offers a slight bow take a moment for you to mentally decipher.
You don’t rightly care, because you’ve not seen a familiar face other than Anders since waking up in this body. Let alone, anything close to a friend.
He stiffens and freezes when you step forward to drag him into your arms, holding him in a tight embrace that almost has you melting against him with how much of a relief it felt to feel another person. It’s too forward, and you’d never have done it under normal circumstances---
But you’re so relieved to see him.
“You have no idea how good it is to see you,” you murmur as you release him, catching the slight tinge of a flush at his cheeks. He straightens his shirt, donned in black from head to toe. His hair isn’t pulled back, for once; it’s a little longer than when you had seen him last, “You look great, Goro.”
He seems to relax slightly at the familiar words, as if he hadn’t been quite sure what to expect of you at first. You watch as he takes you in, optics dilating as his settings switch with the distance you put between you again. It makes you slightly self-conscious under his scrutiny.
You know you look different. Sure, the core basics of yourself are the same, but you’re slimmer than you were before in this cloned body. Your cyberware is gone, as are the scars from a lifetime of mercenary work. Any tattoos you had were no longer etched into your skin, including Johnny’s. Then, there’s that new Arasaka logo brandished behind your ear that matched his own. The only good thing about your new appearance was that your hair had finally grown long enough to cover the logo when you left it down.
“You look like shit,” he cracks a smile after a second, “but it is good to see you, too.”
“What are you doing here?” you wonder as he walks further into your designated quarters, hands clasped behind his back, “Don’t tell me you get to tell a girl she’s dying twice.” He observes the room not unlike he did when he’d visited you on the space station, though seems less displeased with your living situation this time.
He doesn’t say, “barbaric,” at least.
It’s your words that earn his chastising side-eye, this time, “You should not joke. I do not want to do that again.”
“Well, don’t keep me in suspense,” the prodding does nothing to urge an explanation from him as he moves towards the desk on the other side of the room. The metal on his fingertips glints with sunlight as he moves the papers lying there--- some of the most recent status reports you’ve been given on your performance in Arasaka’s testing. A lot of it was redacted, but you were given just enough to know you weren’t dying currently.
That, they seemed to be taking as a win.
“How are you feeling?” he asks as his optics dart back and forth on the papers, reading them quickly. Surely, he’s had a briefing before he’d been sent to see you. Maybe he just doesn’t trust it was a full picture, or he wants to know what parts of it you know.
Settling into the couch, you reach for the tin of mints you’ve been hoarding recently. Popping one into your mouth, you turn it around as the fresh flavor bursts through your skin, scent sparking in your nostrils.
“Playing doctor now, Goro?” that gets him to look up from the papers to shoot you an unamused look that said just answer the question. You sigh, nail tapping the tin as you take a moment to get his answer, “Well, I’m tired and sore all the time from the physical therapy, and hypersensitive to almost fuck all. Oh, and they still won’t let me get any chrome installed--- even the minor stuff like optics.” You sigh, and the minty feeling tingles on your tongue, “Do you know how much deliberating it took for the white-coats to finally decide I was ready for an operating system update?”
“And the nightmares?” Goro turns away from the desk to instead lean on it, crossing his arms as he looks towards you. So, he had a more thorough briefing on your status than you expected.
You avert your eyes. It was bad enough having to talk to the mandated shrink about them. You really didn’t want to get into what plagued your mind with Goro.
“They’re nothing. It’s the physical symptoms that Arasaka cares about. That’s what’ll get Saburo a new body or not, right?”
He doesn’t let you off the hook that easily, “Arasaka has underestimated the impact of the mind on the body once already, at great cost. I do not think your mental state is considered ‘minor’ to your doctors and scientists, V.” After a moment’s pause, he confirms what you are thinking, “It is not considered something to be ignored by Arasaka’s board, either.”
“Is that what you’re here for?” you can’t help the irritation that seeps into your tone, “To give a first-hand report back to Hanako Arasaka and the board on my progress? Came to see the test subject for yourself instead of just reading the memo?”
“V…” his brow furrows, frown settling onto his lips as you turn your body away from him on the couch.
“Well, you’ve seen me! I trust you’ve gotten all the spicy details you need for your report on my mental status.”
“くそ,” he swears under his breath, as if exasperated with your antics. There is a stillness that comes with the silence between you after that, and you don’t dare turn to him. Instead, you focus on the tin in your hands and the mint in your mouth. Anything other than the pit in your stomach at the remembrance of the nightmares that plague you more nights than most.
There’s a shuffling of clothing and the sound of footsteps approaching as Goro comes to stand beside you, “You are… hypersensitive to words as well, it seems. Look at me, V.” You refuse to do it, and he sighs. In your peripheral, you can see him move to sit beside you on the couch, “Hanako-sama does expect me to relay your progress upon my return, but that is not the sole purpose for my visit.”
“Why’re you here, then?” it may be childish to still refuse to look at him, but you can’t bring yourself to. You feel as if nothing will be as it was before--- like even though you’ve fought terribly to return to normal, there would never be a moment when you felt like yourself again.
“You are being released.”
Your head snaps up to look at him when he says that, utter shock undoubtedly on your face. His own expression remains level, rock steady as he always seemed to be. You can see the truth of his words in his eyes; he has no reason to lie to you. You doubt Hanako would put him in a position to knowingly do so anyway.
“Released?” you breathe the word. You can’t quite believe the truth in his eyes.
“Hellman’s team has decided you have progressed as much as can be expected in a clinical setting. They think you are ready to return to a more ‘normal’ routine. I am here to tell Hanako-sama if I believe they are correct, based on what I know of you… who you were, already,” Goro holds up a hand, quelling the excitement he undoubtedly sees blossoming in your eyes. “This does not mean a return to what your routine was before. You cannot return to mercenary work.”
“So… I’m to live as a civilian, then?” you shift your whole body to face him, legs folded beneath you.
“In a sense… you will still be under Arasaka’s supervision, expected to meet every scheduled appointment and test. If you miss even one, you will be collected and returned here. There are other requirements, but I will leave those to be explained by your care team,” Goro watches as the news sinks in. He looks away, admitting, “I am maybe not the best to answer any questions you have about this.”
“Will I be staying in Tokyo?” is all you can think to ask, mind racing at the prospect of even a little freedom from this quarantine.
“At first, but I believe the goal is to reintroduce you to Night City should you continue to progress---” his words are choked off when you quickly grasp hold of his shoulders, pulling him into another hug. Just like before, he freezes, though this time he recovers enough to loosely hug you back.
“Thank you, Goro, for everything.”
---
The Corpo Plaza apartment didn’t feel like home, but it was closest to Arasaka tower and the Biotechnica building--- both of which you have to visit frequently. Well, at least it was less frequently than when you’d first been sent back to Night City, but it still wasn’t worth the constant drive from a different district.
Your fingers trace along the metal outlining your face as you glance at yourself in the mirror, having just finished a shower. The cyberware embedded in your cheeks is similar to what you had originally, though slightly different. You like it all the same, even if it had to be approved by Arasaka first. Every day you felt more like yourself, but you doubt you’ll ever be 100% you again. Too much has changed for this sense of newness to ever leave.
Even when you had reconnected with Victor, he looked at you like something uncanny. A dead woman walking. Misty could barely manage to look at you at all. Panam and the Aldecaldos had migrated; you were still waiting for her to return your call to figure out what they were up to these days. Judy was long gone, but getting out of Night City was maybe the best thing she could’ve done after everything.
Only Johnny’s old contacts seemed to remind you of who you were, and perhaps that’s because they’d never truly gotten to know you too well. Then, there was the feeling of loss that still gripped your soul. The ghost of Johnny Silverhand haunting your every thought and plaguing your dreams at night. You doubt you’ll ever be free of him. You hope he never fully fades from your psyche.
As much as it hurts, you still love him.
In hindsight, that’s probably the real reason why it would never work out between you and Goro. You’re still holding a torch for a dead man, and you’ll never be truly satisfied with anyone else.
In the end, Johnny has truly ruined you. Maybe it’s his last laugh: your complete inability to move on.
Your deal with Arasaka at the beginning had been for them to save him. To put him away into Mikoshi for the rainy day that the technology existed for a body suited for him to be a reality. The contract required them to release him into Night City after he had been deemed healthy, but you knew as well as anyone that contracts like these had loopholes even with the best lawyers pouring over them. Arasaka could truly do whatever they wanted with him once he was out of your head, other than destroying his engram.
When you had asked them the status on them holding up that end of your bargain, you had been met with cryptic answers. Hanako refused to meet with you, and you were in no shape without your combat cyberware to hunt her down yourself.
You’re terrified, honestly, at the idea of never seeing him again, nearly as much as you fear facing him.
Sighing, you step away from the mirror to move towards your bedroom while you towel-dry your hair as best you can. Tomorrow you were to report to Arasaka for your end-of-the-year testing and physical. Hellman would probably personally chastise you for the pizza you’ve ordered tonight. It was far from the approved meal plan, but it wasn’t as easy to find food that fit the diet and still tasted good outside of Japan. Finally, you understood Takemura’s issue with Night City’s synthfood.
Still, if one slice of pizza was going to kill you, you figure it’s a good enough way to go. Anything beats being an Arasaka pencil-pusher for the rest of your days.
“Night City Legend, Felled by PieZ,” the headlines would read, and it wouldn’t even mention the billions you’d cost Arasaka if you died.
Water drips down your jaw and you wipe it away with the towel before tossing it into the hamper. Scooping up an oversized sweatshirt that screamed support for the debut album of SAMURAI, it soaks up the few water droplets you’ve missed when drying and effectively covers the dog tags against your chest. Looking down at the hamper, you wish that Arasaka would sign off on you having a pet finally. Nibbles was doing fine at Victor’s, but you missed that furless cat.
The sound of your holo ringing is accompanied by Goro’s face flashing in your caller ID, and you pick up after a few moments, “Yo?”
“こんばんは,” Goro appears with his hair pulled up into a bun, and you could’ve been fooled that it was the old days if not for the few extra gray hairs he seemed to have now. “Are you ready for tomorrow?”
“What? You worried I’ll disappoint?” you roll your eyes at his pointed look. “You know I’m doing great now, practically would be back to my old self if they’d ever let me get my combat cyberwear.”
“And you know that Arasaka has invested too much in you for you to involve yourself in a Night City street fight. Do not think they will approve all your requests tomorrow, V, regardless of your progress,” he speaks reasonably, and maybe that’s what grinds your gears the most. You know good and well that Arasaka has everything riding on you. If you successfully keep from pushing daisies they’ll move forward with Saburo’s resurrection. Hell, maybe they already were. For their one and only living test subject, you’ve been doing relatively well, if not a little hypersensitive at times still.
“Not every fight in Night City is one you pick. What if I need to defend myself, huh?”
“Do you feel in danger? Has something happened?” Goro’s voice has an edge to it, concern, and you shake your head.
“I’m just making a point. Most folks who die in this city are just in the wrong place at the wrong time. My combat chrome would give me an edge again. Call it an investment in keeping me alive,” you snort, and Goro’s lips quirk upwards at your dry humor.
“You can plead that to the panel tomorrow after you pass all their tests. I think you should… what is the phrase? Not get your hopes up?”
“Did you call me just to bum me out, Goro?” you sigh, moving through your kitchen to rummage through your fridge and find a NiCola.
“Only to discuss reality.”
“I think you’re just scared I’ll kick your ass with all my chrome one of these days for how sassy you are,” the sarcasm drips from your tongue, and this time Takemura does sound thoroughly amused.
“I would like to watch your attempt at that, but I think you will need to remove the pizza from your diet first, V,” then, he hangs up. Never one for drawn-out goodbyes. You think you prefer it that way.
“I could’ve kicked your ass while on an only-pizza diet, once,” you grumble to the apartment around you, taking a swig of the NiCola. The ring of the doorbell breaks you from the thoughts of just how you can get back at Goro for that comment, “Speaking of pizza…”
Barefoot, you stroll towards the door, hoping the delivery guy followed your instructions to leave your food at the door. You don’t want to deal with awkward small talk with another human right now. Not bothering to check the cams to see if your instructions have been followed, you let the door slide open with a swipe of your hand against the key screen.
The door is barely halfway open when a hand catches your throat and forces you back into the apartment, a body forcing you up against the entryway wall as you choke out a startled noise under a firm grip. Terror claws at your skin as you grab at the arm attached to the hand before you manage to get a good look at him when he stills against you, breathing hard. It takes a moment for wide eyes to take in enough of his features to recognize the dark eyes staring back at you.
“J---”
“You couldn’t help yourself from being corpo scum again, could you? Selfish, that’s what this whole thing was--- what you are,” his voice--- oh, fuck, his voice, it rings in your ears in a way it never has before. Deep, familiar, and real. Strained with anger and choked with a breathless fury, but something else breaks against the fire swirling in his eyes--- some relief that settles nearly as devastatingly in your bones as his skin lays heavy and warm against yours.
You can’t believe it. You must be hallucinating. You’ve finally cracked and lost it. Something was malfunctioning in your head, certainly, because there’s no way he’s here.
Your fingertips shake as they reach out, away from the firm grip he still has on your throat, to ghost against the slope of his jaw. The scruff of a beard still remained there, but was shorter than how he had lived in your head. The scars on his face were gone, along with the tattoos on what skin of his you can see beneath the leather jacket he wears. His left hand was at your throat, and it was made of flesh and bone, not metal.
He swats at your hand when you finally touch him, a hurt in his voice that was so real that you couldn’t trick yourself into believing he was just a hallucination, “Did you ever think about what I wanted, huh, when you chose this?”
But you still can’t get past the sight of him, finally managing, “Is… it really you?”
“Fuck yes, it’s me. What’s wrong with you?”
“Johnny,” you gasp his name, nails digging into his pristine forearm, tears nearly blinding you as they well in your eyes at the overwhelming emotion that surges from your chest. You can’t hold it together, trembling against him, and only then does his grip soften at your throat.
His voice sounds devastatingly mournful as he growls in the quiet of your apartment, “You sold us both to fuckin’ Arasaka, V. Look what they did to you. You’re their property. Doesn’t it make you sick? Some things are worse than death, and I doubt ‘Saka will ever leave us to it, now.”
You hear what he’s saying. It sounds just like him, and your heart breaks at the sound. At the warmth of him, and the way his dark hair ghosts around his cheeks slightly shorter than you remember it being before. He’s really here, and he hates you.
His voice cracks, “Why are you crying?”
“I-I missed you,” you confess between the sobs, trying to swallow up the emotion. Damning yourself for not holding it together better than this at the sight of him, but it was such a shock, and only one thing could run through your mind as dreadful regret sank into your soul, “a-and now you’re going to hate me forever.”
He looks at you like he’s stunned by the words coming from your mouth, or maybe he’s shocked it’s all you’re capable of saying when you’ve betrayed him as thoroughly as he perceives.
“Shit, V,” he murmurs, reaching up to drag his thumb against your cheek and wiping away the messy tears that trailed there. He looks down at you like he’s almost annoyed at you for crying, but there’s a strange look in his eyes that you can’t fully place. “I wish it was something as easy as hating you, but I just can’t seem to catch a fuckin’ break.”
The confusion at his words nearly stuns your tears into small hiccups as you breathe, “What?”
“I don’t think I’ll ever be able to hate you,” it sounds like dread on his tongue, like fear and grief for the situation you’ve both found yourselves in. It sounds like a confession, from his lips, “I don’t think I’ll be able to forgive you for what you’ve done to me, either. I haven’t felt right without you since I woke up in this damn useless body. Feels like I should still be in yours.”
A breathless huff escapes you, almost akin to a laugh, as you realize what he’s trying to say, “You missed me, too, huh, rockerboy?”
“You’re the only thing about this damned city I missed,” he crowds you in, pressing you fully into the wall with his own body. “Not drugs, not alcohol, not music--- I came back here for you. Bein’ clean and having to put up with those ‘Saka corpo-drones has been the worst time of my life, by the way, but I did it because they said you were alive.” He looks at you, a hint of incredulousness in his eye, when he asks, “What the hell kind of a deal did you make with them?”
You’re terrified to tell him, but you can’t lie to him. Not after everything.
“I’m the reason Saburo Arasaka will live.”
Johnny curses, fury twisting his face, but the defeat is worse, “I should hate you. Fuck, why can’t I hate you?”
“I’m sorry---”
“Don’t lie to me,” he cuts you off, biting, “you’re not sorry. You don’t care if Saburo Arasaka lives or dies so long as we get to live.”
“Fine, you’re right,” anger flares in your own gut, exhausted annoyance lacing your tone, “but is that such a crime? I want to be okay again, Johnny! I want you to be okay, too!”
“And you’ll sell our souls for it?!”
“God, you’re such a dramatic asshole!” you nearly scream, slamming your eyes shut in your distress, “Go ahead and blame me for falling in love with a dead man, too, then! I should’ve known it would kill us both, but I couldn’t stop myself from loving you, Johnny! I wouldn’t have been able to go on knowing I’d left you to die, okay? That’s why I did this! Call me a selfish bitch if you want to; maybe you’re right---”
“Yeah? Well, I guess maybe I’m to blame for falling in love with a selfish bitch,” he growls, so close that his nose touches yours, and your eyes snap open just as he leans in to crash his lips against yours. It’s not wholly unlike the last kiss you shared with him, when he was just sparks on your neurons, and yet it’s entirely different.
There’s a taste to him now, but it’s not the cigarettes you had expected, but more akin to nicotine gum. Has he stopped smoking? He smells like leather and some sort of amber-scented cologne that has you weak in the knees.
But the way he kisses you is what nearly scrambles all coherent thought. He’s so warm and firm against you, the reality of his touch, tongue, and lips against yours desecrates the memory of the slight stimulation your neurons had simulated when he’d been in your head. Johnny seems to be in no better a state at the feeling of you against him, gasping into your mouth when your hands find his hair to drag him closer, and all the while all you can think is how happy you are that he is alive here and now.
It barely feels like it should be real.
He parts from you, catching his breath and staring at you with a look that sends heat rippling down your spine, flushing your skin in its wake.
You blink at him, head lulled back, and whisper through the feeling of having him back, like some piece of your soul coming home, “Fuck, I missed you, Johnny, so much.”
“You’re probably the only one, choom.”
“That’s not true. There’s Rogue, and Kerry---”
“They got their closure when I was hitchhiking in your skull. How can I just waltz back into their lives now?”
You tilt your head at him, “It can’t be that the Johnny Silverhand who was never afraid to die, is actually scared to live?”
He scoffs, leaning away from you with a roll of his eyes, “Is that the kinda’ psychobabble your ‘Saka shrink has been feeding you?”
“Could be,” you shrug, and a glint of the light at the metal around your neck catches his eye, “don’t mean it isn’t true.”
“What’s this?” he invades your space again, dragging a fingertip to loop at the chain at your neck, leading beneath your sweatshirt, and tugging it until the necklace drags into view. Dogtags clink in his hand and his eyes snap back up to yours in shock, “These--- you still have ‘em?”
Your cheeks heat with the find, and you don’t know why it’s so embarrassing even after you’ve told him that you’re in love with him. Of course you would’ve kept his dog tags. It only makes sense, but you want to defend it. The words crawl up your throat, and it takes all you have to swallow them down.
Instead, you reach up to begin to remove them, “You should probably have them back, now.”
Johnny’s hand catches yours, stilling it, “I… don’t know if I’m ready to step back into ‘em right now. ‘Sides, maybe I like the look of ‘em on you.”
You search his gaze, but he seems sure enough about the decision, “Alright. I’ll keep them, for now.”
“Good… It suits you,” a ring of the apartment door breaks you from whatever scrutiny weighed heavy in Johnny’s eyes. “The fuck is that?”
“My pizza this time, I hope,” you huff, pushing him back just enough to escape from between him and the wall. “I don’t know if I can take two of you showing up at my door tonight.”
Johnny trails after you, watching you open the door and pluck the pizza box from the ground where the delivery guy had left it as instructed, “Good news, there’s only one Johnny Silverhand.”
Turning towards him, you smirk, “Luckily.”
“Screw you.”
“You wish.”
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cbk1000 · 1 year ago
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do you have any merlin fic recs?
So I actually just gave several recs to someone last night asking from them in a comment thread on one of my fics. I'm just going to copy and paste that here since it's got all the links. These are all Merthur, M or E-rated.
The (Not So) Misfortunate Adventures of Merlin's Dick...Pic: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1448158 (Merlin accidentally sends a dick pic to Arthur. Short, but funny and cute.)
lady_ragnell has lots of good Merthur fics; two of my favourites are The Future Soon https://archiveofourown.org/works/317838 (While scrying at one of Morgana's dinner parties, Arthur and Merlin see themselves married five years in the future and do everything they can to prevent it. Spoiler alert: they fail.)
No Matter How Far Away You Roam: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1069420 (Arthur asks Merlin to be his fake husband for Christmas with his family.)
But really if you haven't read any of their work, I'd go through their (very large) backlog of fics and pick whatever strikes your fancy. There's another one where they work at a publishing house together and Arthur founds a new imprint of gay romance which he wants Merlin to write for; somehow he manages to miss that he's been living in a gay romance for years: https://archiveofourown.org/works/366393
Gibraltar May Tumble by shes_gone (Reincarnation fic; Merlin moves into a house on the coast which is being haunted by Arthur, a Victorian-era sea captain stuck between life and death.) https://archiveofourown.org/works/562861
Also Can't Buy Me Love by the same author: https://archiveofourown.org/works/372276 (It's a Mad Men AU set in the 60s where they all work at an advertising agency, but you don't have to have watched the show to make sense of it; I've never seen it and still really enjoyed the fic.)
All Bets Are Off by Magnolia822: https://archiveofourown.org/works/523143/chapters/925441 (Arthur bets he can stay in a relationship longer than Merlin can stay single. Of course the bet backfires.)
Where I'm Meant To Be by WhiteRoseCottage: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12911394/chapters/29498163 (Sweet Arthur Returns fic that's just a nice, soft little story about Arthur learning to live in the modern world and these two idiots realising their feelings for one another.)
Fools of Us All by adelagia: https://archiveofourown.org/works/746374 (Merlin accidentally spills a love potion on himself and makes everyone in Camelot fall in love with him. Except Arthur.)
Neither fish nor fowl by the same author: https://archiveofourown.org/works/746395
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sparkletastic-cookiedough · 7 months ago
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When other people recognize the subtle plot points I shove into the background, I get so excited. Like, amazing! You thought about the implications! Have a cookie!!!
Or rather, have an extra update. I thought of the origins of the bracelets slightly differently, so it’s not quite what you expected.
Also, I just realized Nightwing was in the original prompt. Alas, I already marinated this idea in my brain. Too late. Just pretend that he wasn’t there.
That, and sorry it took a while. I’m not a fast writer, and this took me quite some time to make.
//-\\-//-\\
Nightwing watched Constantine exit the League meeting with a passive stare. Really, Dick was holding himself back from outright glaring at the man. They let Constantine, the mess of a conman who has threatened the fabric of the universe as many times as he’s saved it, join the Justice League. Yet Nightwing, a hero with a great success rate, still had yet to get in.
It was probably Batman’s revenge for all the pranks they pulled on the Justice League. Messing with Batman’s coworkers was an unwritten rule of becoming Robin. Even after passing on the mantle, Nightwing still played high frequency audio tones at Green Arrow. It was fun to prank the League.
Damian didn’t quite understand the pranks yet- he kept going a little too far into death threats territory. Thankfully, the presence of Spoiler made up for it. She had once targeted Superman with Hair removal cream in his shampoo. The press in Metropolis had a field day when Superman had to fight Lex Luthor while sporting his bald look. Clark Kent had to write an article about it. Clark was not happy.
Around a minute later, another person exited the meeting room. This time, it was a teenager. Small and lanky, with visible insecurity on his face, the kid had shining white hair that Dick wanted to ruffle.
But what caught Dicks eye the most was the bracelet. Dick remembered that bracelet. Batman had initially created it for him, after all.
“Dick, chum, I made something for you” Batman had said. “I know you’ve been scared that I’m going to disappear on you. And I want to promise you that as long as I can help it, I’ll come home to you.”
Batman gently guided his son’s hand to his chest. “You feel that? That’s my heartbeat. It means that I’m still alive. These bracelets will measure heartbeat. It sends that information to the other bracelet, which will display if you tap, and have an alert if it gets too high or too low. You can always see mine, chum, and I can always see yours.”
Dick put his bracelet on. He smiled. “Thanks, dad” Dick wrapped his father in a hug. “I love you.”
Bruce stood stiffly for a moment, then patted Dick on the back. “I love you too, kiddo.”
Dick smiled at the old memory. The bracelets had since been upgraded, fitted with a tracker, the tech made lighter and more compact, and eventually implanted into their body.
Even Jason, who had his struggles with the family, had an implant. After some long discussions with Bruce, he agreed that his old man at least deserved to know whether or not Jason was alive.
Every Robin had worn the bracelet at one point. Even people who weren’t Robin. Batman had given the Robin bracelet to each member of his family, extended or otherwise. It was a two way security thing.
Nightwing was glad his mask contained a camera. Just by blinking twice, he could snap a picture of whatever he was looking at.
The pic was sent to his communicator, which he then sent to Barbara. She’d inform everyone about the possible new addition to the family.
Dick put his communicator back in his pocket, and went to introduce himself. He didn’t want to scare off the kid, who looked frightened and traumatized already. (He already fit in with the rest of the family).
“Hey, I’m Nightwing.”
//-\\-//-\\
Barbara stared at the transmission from Dick.
Bruce had gotten another one. The glowing kid would fit in nicely with Duke and Claire. They had frequently complained about not having enough people with powers on the team.
Barbara tried to operate a facial scan, only to be met with no results.
Which was concerning. The kind of lifestyle someone has to have in order to appear on no cameras ever would be… disturbing. It pointed to a past like Damian’s, or Kon’s.
“Well shit” Harper said behind her. “Bruce picked up another one?”
Barbara hummed.
“You think he warned this kid about taking the bracelet off?” Harper asked.
When Harper had gotten her bracelet, she had it for two days before taking it off and tinkering with it. Within two minutes, Red Hood had crashed through the window, looked at the situation, and commed over that everything was fine.
Batman still checked on her in person that night. He wrapped her up in his cape, gave her a new bracelet, and made her promise not to take it off again. Harper came back three weeks later with an improved design that was blue and purple, and now included the ability to monitor body temperature.
Barbara thought for a moment, only to send a message to Nightwing. Better safe than sorry.
Then, after considering it for a moment, she hacked into Nightwings camera. She wanted to meet her new family member.
\\-//-\\-//
Nightwing checked his communicator as Barbara sent over a message.
All Seeing Eye: Make sure kid knows about the bracelet, we don’t want another Harper situation.
Nightwing sent back a thumbs up. “Sorry about that, important hero stuff” he said to the teen.
“Don’t worry, I get it. I was a hero in my hometown for a while before…” the teen trailed off, a sad expression on his face.
“Hey, you’re in a safe place now.” Dick rubbed the teens back comfortingly.
“Still can’t believe I’m actually in a space station.” The kid smiled. “Then I look out the window, and there’s the moon, actually.”
Dick blinked twice to capture the smile. He’d put that in his family photo album. “I’ve had tons of missions in space. There’s some pretty incredible stuff out there.”
The kid looked at him with stars in his eyes. “Really? Like what?”
“Let me tell you about the time Starfire and I fought the Space Zebras. It was actually one of our better dates, now that I think about it…”
\\-//-\\-//
Batman took the zeta tube out from the Watchtower. The meeting had taken far longer than he’d planned.
He stepped into the batcave, only to be greeted by more of his family than usual.
Tim was researching ghosts on the Batcomputer. Damian was sparring with Steph. Cass was doing stretches. Duke was watching some sort of video on one of the largest video monitors in the cave. Harper was braiding Barbara’s hair as the two of them watched with Duke. Even Cullen and Alfred were down here, despite not being active in vigilante work most of the time.
“What’s going on?” Batman asked.
“We’re waiting for Danny, of course.” Damian answered without looking away from Steph.
“I already have a room ready” Alfred noted.
Batman was confused for a moment, before remembering the kid that Constantine had brought in. “Danny isn’t coming with us.”
The room became silent. Then everyone started screaming at once.
“Father, what exactly-“
“B, since when-“
“Bruce, don’t try and deny-“
Batman rubbed his temples. “Enough. I can’t answer you when you’re all talking at once.” The room fell silent once more.
It was Duke who spoke up. “You gave him the bracelet.”
“He was worried about his caretaker, and it was interrupting the meeting. I gave him the tools to ease his worries.”
“So no new siblings?” Tim asked.
“Correct.” Bruce nodded at his son.
“Dang. Who’s going to tell Dick?” Barbara asked. Each of his children jumped to touch their nose. They stared at Steph, who was currently pinned beneath Damian.
“No fair, I can’t access my arms.” Damian let her up. “Fine, I’ll do it. But we’re having waffles tomorrow.” She pulled out her communicator.
Alfred made a note of it.
“Whose kid is he then? Wonder woman’s?” Duke asked.
“Constantine’s.” Batman said.
The room erupted into pandemonium once more.
Cass grabbed the communicator from Steph’s hand, and started typing out her own message.
“Cass, what are you-“
She looked Steph in the eye. “New baby brother.”
Each of the kids took a moment to absorb Cass’s words. Suddenly, they all sported the same mischievous grin.
\\-//-\\-//
Nightwing cuddled with his new sibling on the couch.
“Man, I didn’t know Constantine had other kids.” Danny said.
Nightwing froze. “Constantine…?”
Danny nodded. “He’s my guy now, I decided. I wouldn’t normally share, but you’re pretty cool.” Danny snuggled into Dicks chest.
Dick checked his communicator.
Spoiler Warning: Yeah, turns out that the kid isn’t B’s.
Spoiler Warning: False alarm, sorsozkwnsjiz-
Spoiler Warning: New Baby Brother.
Spoiler Warning: Kidnap. Bring to Cave. Cover in Blankets.
Nightwing knew his mission now. “Alright kiddo, it’s getting late, so I’m going to take you home, yeah?”
Danny mmm’d affirmatively. If he wasn’t convinced before, Dick was now. Danny was his new baby brother, and he’d be coming home tonight.
*hisssss* My comfort human!
Nightwing stared, he turned his head staring at Zatanna in a way that clearly spelled the question: Are you seeing what I am seeing?
Zatanna only gave him a shrug with a smile before focusing back on the meeting, leaving Nightwing to turn back and stare. He wasn't the only hero in the room with that reaction. There were a couple others too that reacted similarly. Only Batman appeared to be able to hold his pokerface.
Right before them was Constantine trying to explain to them all how their goverment basically fucked them over, while a 'ghost' teen was clinging to the man's shoulders glaring and hissing at them all. Worst of all Constantine was acting like the kid wasn't even there. Like there was no a white haired, black and white dressed teen hugging the man around his shoulders while glaring at them with glowing Lazarus green eyes.
"Uhm John? What's with the kid?" Green Lantern finally asked interrupting another one of the magicans rants about how screwed they were to which the Brite only glared at the hero.
"Ignore him."
"But..."
"IGNORE him."
"Maybe we should remove the child from this meeting before we continue?" Superman offered good naturally and Constantine looked pretty much done with them all, Nightwing noted. The blond waved with his hand as if telling them to 'go on try it'.
The heroes exchanged glances. Before Superman moved forward reaching out to remove the teen....
...and promptly got bitten. Nightwings eyes widened as he noticed the teen actually broke kryptonian skin!
The teen then proceeded to hiss at them while clutching onto Constantine protectively. The magican only let out a suffering sigh and muttered something about never touching a core again.
"My comfort human! Get your own!"
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hereticallyeverafter · 8 months ago
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I don't know if I'm phenomenonally ugly, or lucky, or both, but the whole Man Or Bear scenario is wild to me. I know I'm an outlier, and I'm not trying to discredit or belittle other peoples' experiences, so I believe my experience deserves equal respect too, but we'll see; spoiler alert: I'm not picking the bear lol.
My response depends on the phrasing of the question. Would you rather be in the forest knowing there's a bear in the vicinity, or a strange man? Man, hands down. Humans are stupid, not naturally territorial, fairly easy to shake off your trail versus a territorial, pissed off bear. Would you rather be pursued by a bear in the forest, or by a strange man? Still a man. Another human being is easier to kill. Or barter with. Bears are fast and will kill you dead. Also, how big is the woods?
Like, I get that the principle of the question is to demonstrate that the Monolith of Womankind™️ feel disempowered and predated upon by men, and if that is anyone's experience, I do truly sympathize and wish the best for your healing journey in whatever form that takes. I've just never felt *that* to that extent. I've experienced creepy men, my ex raped me, I've been followed, etc. Oddly enough, I've never gotten a random dick pic 🤔 but whatever. Idk.
And I'm pro-feminism, fuck the patriarchy, etc, but women actually aren't a monolith, and neither are men, and the viral popularity of this question- and the thinkpieces dragging men for being stumped or indignant- is only going to further entrench that binary, monolithic-thinking and build resentment, not just in men, but in feminists like me (ME, ME, glorious me! /jk) who are tired of having to explain that women don't /actually hate men. They just joke that they do. They act like they do, but that's a joke too. People- not just men, not just women- don't change because you didn't whip them hard enisn't.
But it really does feel like the man-bashing has started to blur the line from self-defense, irony, punching up, to just plain meanness and misandry- like, men are still people too. It feels like the reactive cultural shift has gone from "sigh not all men" to "fuck it, yes all men" in the same vein as ACAB meaning "yes all cops", but like, being a cop is a choice, being clocked as a man or being AMAB isnt.
I'm not saying either that men need to be babied. Complaints against creeps- REAL ones, not those fake "entrapment" main character syndrome gym videos- are all valid, sure. But this fake scenario does a bad job at presenting that, imo. Conversely, I do see the introspection on mens' parts, especially in regard to the "Loneliness Epidemic" as necessary even though it's been uncomfortable, and my sympathy does go out to men who genuinely are suffering or are just, like, frustrated, because that's valid too, and men's mental health is also important.
Also, can we just stop coming up with thought exercises that involve animals?! "Would you love me if I was a worm 🥺", "Bear or man?!" Animal-Planet-brain-having-ass 😒
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chaotic-mage · 5 years ago
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just-my-type-x · 3 years ago
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"Champagne" - Asher Adams Smut
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Small spoiler alert for who hasn't watched All American:This takes place before Asher could no longer play football ! - pic not mine
I wait for Asher to come back from practice and check myself one more time in the mirror. I'm wearing a black lace lingerie and on top of the two pieces, i have a transparent black nightgown that stops right under my ass. I lick my lips as i feel myself and really enjoy what I'm seeing.
This week was pretty rough for Asher, Spencer clouding everything on and off the field, which got him frustrated, so i hope this night will make him feel a little bit better.
I hear the key turn in the lock, the door opening soon after and being closed with a bang.
"It's me, princess!", Asher shouts and i smirk
"I'm in the bedroom, cleaning!", i lie and position myself on the bed, leaning back on my elbows, my legs stretched out on the bed, waiting for Asher to come to the bedroom. I hear his heavy footsteps get closer and i feel butterflies in my stomach because of my impatience to see his reaction. The door handle is turned and he gets inside the room, gym duffle bag falling heavy on the floor, a sweaty and exhausted Asher in front of me.
"Oh, wow, you look amazing..", he licks his lips and closes the door behind him. "Is this how you're cleaning from now on? Because there won't be much cleaning.", he takes off his tank top and throws is somewhere on the floor, while kneeling on the bed. His fingers trace my legs, from my ankles to my thighs, spreading them apart. Asher positions himself between my legs.
"If you enjoy it, then why not?", my voice breaks, as he is very close to my face. Even though we've been dating for a few months now, i still find him intimidating and very, very hot. His nose brushes against mine as he moves me closer to him, his hands grabbing my thighs.
"I love it, babe", Asher leans in and crushes his lips on mine, one hand moving to the beck of my neck, while he leans me all the way on my back. He licks my bottom lip for access and i part my lips enough for his tongue to slip inside. I moan at the warm and wet feeling and he smirks at my action. I bite his bottom lip and his hand finds its way to my core, which he touches through the thin fabric of the underwear. I move my hips against his fingers, trying to earn more friction. "You're so eager", he smirks, his deep voice sending shivers through my body. Asher moves the underwear to the side and inserts one finger inside me. I gasp at the action, but moan when i get used to the feeling.
"More", i beg and he inserts another finger, speeding up. Asher kisses my neck, my collarbone, down my breasts, while his fingers pump in and out of me.
"You're very wet for me", he groans when he starts hearing the wetness at every thrust he makes. He curles his fingers, reaching my g spot with ease. I moan loudly and grab the sheets. Asher chuckles. "Is it that good?", i nod, unable to give him a verbal answer. "Good"
"Nooo", i cry when he takes his fingers out and gets off the bed. I watch him closely, as he takes off his sweatpants, his erection visible through his black boxers. He grabs a condom from the drawer and throws it on the bed. I get up in sitting position and grab him by the band of the boxers, lowering it. His member pops up and i grin at the length of it, pulling down the boxers until they reached his knees. Asher takes them all the way off, kicking them behind him.
"Turn around, please", he motions me with his index finger how to turn and i obey immediately. I hear the wrapper being torn apart and the rubbery protection being unrolled on his dick. Asher teases me with the head, spreading my juices up to my clit, where he drew small circles. I gasp at the feeling, but I'm left again with nothing as he takes it away. Asher positions himself to enter me and i assure him I'm ok with this when he asks if he can start.
His tip gets inside me and slowly, his width stretches me enough for him to get all the way in at once. I groan at the small pain, but brush it away when Asher starts thrusting slowly.
"Fuck, you feel good", he grabs my waist and starts moving me towards him, so the friction becomes more exciting. He moves faster, cursing under his breath.
"That's so amazing, baby", i cry, feeling my orgasm building up and his fingers dig deep into the skin. I feel his movements get sloppier, his breath uneven, but he suddenly stops.
"Champagne", Asher says and slowly exits me.
"Why? What happened? Are you alright?", i jump from my initial position and sit on my knees, while facing him take lff the condom and put it on the wrapper. Champagne is our safe word. It came pretty randomly, we didn't want to use a lame safe word like red, or peach or whatever. We thought that champagne is a good choice and it's still a sexy word, hence the moment we use it in.
"I'm sorry, princess, but my head is in some place else. Oh, God that sounded so wrong", i laugh at his statement and pat the spot next to me on the bed for him to sit on it. He puts his boxers on and gets next to me. "Today was horrible and i am exhausted, not only phisically, but mentally mostly."
"You could've just told me, Ash. What's up?", i move myself under the blanket and he follows me. We turn to the sides to face each other.
"But you looked so good waiting for me like that and you are so sexy, i thought i could push everything away for this moment.", he sighs and i caress his cheek. "Billy makes us work harder as the matches are coming up very soon and he keeps saying we're not ready to beat the other teams up. Plus, he's giving me a really hard time now that Spencer is pretty much his best player. I barely get any recognition, not any of us actually. Jordan was so pissed today after practice. And I'm very stressed Billy might put me on hold or take me out of the team"
"No, never. You're the best player, Ash, along with Jordan and Spencer", i accentuate the word and. "He can't afford to lose any of you, especially you, ok? He would've been nothing without you, he knows it", i give him a smile and a small kiss on his knuckles.
"I hope you're right. But I'm still pissed at Spencer for trying to steal my spot."
"He doesn't want to take anything from you, babe, he told me he's working a way around this whole mess so everyone could be on the field. Now, stop worrying. If you need anything, i can talk to Billy. He owes me a favor since Freshman year when he was supposed to watch for us at a school event and made me cover for him while he left with Jordan and Olivia to watch some football match in downtown LA. ", we both laugh and i pull Asher at my chest, hugging him tightly and kissing his face. " i love you, i love you, iove you, my athletic man ", i kiss him again, this time on the lips and he hugs me by the waist, almost leaving me breathless.
"I love you too, princess. I don't know what i would do without you.", he kisses my chest
"We' re never going to find out, ok?", i cup his face so he would look at me. He nods and i give him a kiss on the forehead.
"I will give you the world. I'm going to work as hard as I can to reach the best of the best. I want to provide for the family as much as i can", he lifts himself to lean on the back board of the bed.
"Family? What family?", i frown at him
"Well, i hope that one day we will have a family of our own. I want to give you and my son the best living, as you deserve it", he kisses the back of my hand and his eyes sparkle with joy
"Who says it's going to be a he? Maybe you're gonna be a girl dad.", i lay myself between his legs, my head on his chest and my arms hugging his muscular body.
"I'm so gonna ace it if she's a girl. I would have a queen and a princess, what's more beautiful than that?", Asher plays with my hair and i feel him smile wildly at the thought of having a family together.
"Shut up, you're making me emotional."
"I love you, princess"
"I love you more"
♥️ @thankfulformystans here's the Asher imagine, hope you liked it ❤️ feel free to request again if you'd like to
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batfamcraze · 3 years ago
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My Personal Batfamily Headcanons #1 ✨
The kids like to wear fake glasses sometimes in civilian clothing (Dick wears them the most because of Clark)
Besides Ballet being her favourite, Cass likes to practise other dance styles. Contemporary is her 2nd favourite.
Damian likes to draw his family in his sketchbooks. There are pages of mostly his siblings from their hang outs: There’s drawings of Steph giving Tim a haircut, Jason cooking a snack after training, figure drawings of Dick doing yoga, Duke studying for his English test, and more. Damian is very secretive of his sketchbook, his siblings see him scribbling sometimes but don’t try take a peak as they’ve learned their lesson before. One day Alfred was dusting in Damian’s room and saw some of the pages when his sketchbook was open on his bed, he smiled and closed the book.
Barbara is a PC gamer.
Sometimes the kids would join Duke on his morning patrols, to either do cases together or just hang out with him. If they don’t finish a case from the night before, they’ll partner up with Duke the next day.
Jason really likes BatBurger. He always takes the Red Hood meal (Double-stacked BLT burger with diced onions and special bbq sauce) and a cherry-flavoured Mr. Freeze Slushie.
Steph’s blog “Spoiler Alert” is extremely popular. She posts candid pics of the bats and other vigilantes/heroes that show up in Gotham. Sometimes her pictures get shown on the News since paparazzi have a hard time getting good ones. Tim is her co-photographer. Steph also treats her blog like a twitter diary.
Check out Parts 2 and 3!
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two-gays-in-a-trenchcoat · 3 years ago
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Half-Incubus!Tendou x Monster Hunter!Reader (part 1)
Part 1 of what I hope to become a short series, and the prologue for my previous touch-starved Tendou fic. Spoiler alert: he’s still touch-starved and needs cuddles but this time he’s gonna be a bitchboy about it -Osa
3.6k
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It had been a while since you had gone to a party.
The speakers’ bass was drumming so loud you could feel the vibrations through the soles of your shoes, thrumming in your ears and rattling your brain. Inside, the air was thick and hot and smelled like sweat and booze. The lights were dimmed and multicolored LEDs lit up most of the house. As soon as you stepped in, you felt like turning on your heel and walking back out. 
“Hey, you made it!” A slurring, cheerful voice greeted you, along with a heavy arm slung around your shoulder which almost made you buckle under it. You recognized the flushed face of Terushima, slicked back hair tousled around his antlers. “I was hoping you’d coooome,” he sang.
You grimaced, and tried to move out from under his arm, but he stuck to you like gum on the bottom of a shoe. 
“Want a drink?” He asked. “We got a lot.”
“I’m fine.” I should have left when I had the chance.
You didn’t know half of the people here; you’d hoped to meet up with Motoya or at least Fukunaga, but neither the peppy kitsune nor the awkward kappa were anywhere to be seen. You were trying to shove the drunk jackalope hybrid off of your shoulder, when his weight was suddenly removed.
It was a tall, lanky high schooler who had peeled him from you, looking as pissed as you had ever seen anyone. From what you could tell, he was human. His voice had falsely sweet venom to them. “Don’t you have other places to be?”
Terushima didn’t seem to notice the edge to his words, and he grinned stupidly up at him. “Semiiiii, I was wondering where you’d gone.”
The tall boy—Semi?—leaned down next to Terushima and whispered something indistinguishable in his ear. At once, Terushima’s eyes widened, seeming to glass over, and he couldn’t stumble out of the room fast enough. 
Semi turned to you. You noticed his hair was bleached to a warm, dusky ash-blonde, and his eyes were sharp. “You good?”
“Yeah, thanks,” you said. “What did you say to him?
He ignored your question. “Aren’t you the new kid?”
You corrected him with your actual name, followed by, “And yes, I am.”
He smiled in amusement, and offered his fist for you to bump. “Semi. Cool to meet you.”
“You too,” you said. “So, are you gonna tell me what you said to make him leave so quickly?”
He smirked. “A magician never reveals his secrets.” 
You looked him in the eyes, deadpan.
“Alright, if you really want to know…” He leaned in closer to you and whispered, “I threatened to leak his dick pics.”
A lie. You could tell. One of the few helpful gifts your monster-hunter ancestry had left you is the ability to tell when people are lying. It wasn’t magic, per se; it was more of a hypersensitivity, a trait made possible by your heightened senses. At any given moment, your brain was subconsciously noting every single detail around you, picking apart every change in your environment, analyzing anyone you came in contact with, dissecting tone and body language. And when you focused, you could read people like an open book. In the past, this would make you an expert tracker, a master of survival. But in the modern world, it aids you in different ways.
“It’s just about as close to mind reading you can get without magic,” your father had told you. 
So you looked at Semi, expression flat, and bluntly said, “If you’re going to tell me anything, tell the truth.”
He seemed caught off guard that you had called his bluff so quickly, but regained his composure. He grinned at you.
“Too obvious? Alright, well, here’s the truth,” he paused for a moment. “I’m a siren.”
Your eyes widened. You’d only met one siren before in your life, in your middle school, and she had been a total bitch to you. She’d use her powers, her singing voice like puppet strings, to make you carry her things or just outright humiliate you. She didn’t stop until she found out that you were a hunter.
“Don’t worry, if you’re not a sleazebag like Terushima, you’re safe from my powers,” he said.
“I take it you’re not friends,” You guessed.
“Oh, we are friends, actually,” Semi replied. “I’m just, y’know, not blind.”
You snorted at this, which seemed to satisfy him.
“Wanna grab a drink with me, new kid?” he asked. “There are non-alcoholic options as well.”
Your first instinct was to say no; you never made it a habit to go anywhere with a person you just met. But there was an ease about Semi, and it made you feel comforted amongst the pressing of the party going on around you. So you nodded, and let him lead you over to the kitchen.
He waggled a bottle at you. “Sprite?”
“Why not.” You caught it with ease as he threw it at you, cracking the seal and taking a small sip. He grabbed one for himself as well.
“Y’know, if you wanted to leave, I wouldn’t blame you,” he said. “Terushima’s house parties are… An acquired taste.”
“I thought about it, honestly,” you said. “But I don’t know if dipping from the party after five minutes of being here would exactly help my social life.”
“Cheers to that.” He swirled his Sprite around in the bottle. “But, hey, if you need someone to chill with at school, you’re welcome to join me.”
Your heart swelled. “Really?” Maybe I would make friends at this new school, after all. 
“Why not?” Semi said. “I don’t really stick to one group, anyways. Kind of a floater.”
You nodded. “Yeah, I was like that at my old school, too.”
He took a swig from his bottle. “Don’t worry, I’ll show you the ins and outs of Lyonell high.”
Someone called Semi’s name from the other room. He sighed. “It’s probably Taichi. I’ll catch you later, yeah?”
You nodded. “Yeah. Thanks. For, uh…. Yeah”
“You don’t need to thank me for anything,” he said, shrugging. “You’re pretty cool.”
You gave him a half smile as he disappeared into the other room, which dropped as soon as you left. You leaned against the counter, sipping your sprite. Alone. The thought almost made you laugh; you were sure you looked as pathetic as you felt.
“Don’t like parties?” A sultry voice hummed in your ear.
You jumped back, only to see a tall, gangly boy with bright red hair and skin so pale you thought for a second that he must be a vampire. You vaguely recognized him; you’d seen him around at school, always lurking in corners, never with anyone else. He blinked at you, bow-like lips curving into a vaguely interested smirk. 
“Didn’t mean to scare you,” he chuckled.
“Yeah, well, you did,” you huffed.
He tilted his head, mock-pouting. “I’m sorry.”
You looked away, deciding to ignore the boy in favor of your Sprite. You could feel him shift, and he leaned down to peer at you directly in front of your face.
“You’re new here, right?” He asked.
“Yeah,” you replied. “My name is-”
“Oh, I already know your name,” he cut you off. “The rest of the school can’t shut up about it.” He blinked at me. “I’m Satori, by the way, but most people call me Tendou.”
From this angle, there was no way you couldn’t meet his gaze. His eyes were heavily hooded and a searing red, almost the same color as his hair. There was something sharp about them, but not aggressive. Just intense.
You kind of liked it.
“So,” he continued, “why come to a party if you’re going to sit around in a corner being sad?”
“I’m not sad,” you said. “I’m just bored. And hey, you’re over here, too, so you can’t talk.”
He hummed. “Ah, but you see, the only reason I came over here is because I saw you.”
He stepped back at this, so he was fully facing you and you could get a clear view of him. He towered over you easily despite being slouched, and his baggy black T-shirt hung loosely on his slim frame. He had a few necklaces, chains and such, as well as pierced ears. The whole time you glossed him over, he never stopped looking at you. It was like you were his whole focus, like you were a puzzle he was trying to solve by looking at. Not that you were complaining; you found that you rather enjoyed being looked at by him. Despite having just met him a moment ago, you couldn’t help but feel attracted to him, a kind of magnetic pull.
Almost as if he could sense your thoughts, he offered you his hand, and inclined his head in the direction of the other room, where the real partying was going on.
“C’mon,” he said. “The new kid can have a little fun, yeah?”
Against your better judgement, you let him lead you into the other room. You could feel the temperature change, rise as there were more bodies packed together, drinking and laughing, swaying and bouncing along with the beat of the music. Tendou blended into the crowd easily, like it was natural for him. It was his kind of scene.
In the corner, you spotted Semi, supporting the weight of a red-headed Tanuki boy who you could only assume to be Taichi. He was a little out of it, wobbly and barely able to hold himself up, and Semi seemed to have his hands full.
In the kitchen, the music had been a dull thudding seeping through the walls. But here, at the center of its source, it was loud, seeming to drown all of your senses in it. 
Tendou pulled you into him, urging you to dance. His body moved easily to the rhythm, loose and comfortable in the overwhelming atmosphere. He was grinning, and you could see the glint of it even under the dim lighting. His enthusiasm was contagious; you couldn’t help but dance along to the song a bit, an act which made Tendou grin even wider.
At some point, he had pulled you flush against him, and your faces were so close together that you could feel his hot breath fan across your cheeks. It was like an electric spark between you, something so high and full of tension that neither of you could pull away from. He began to lean down.
You suddenly felt a cold splash on your back that ran down your shirt. You yelped, and whirled around to see a very tipsy Terushima holding a red solo cup. He at least had the decency to look ashamed, eyes wide.
“Shit, I’m sorry, I didn’t see you,” he said. He was unsteady on his feet, the remnants of his drink sloshing about in the cup. You were quick to snatch it from his hand.
“I think you’ve had enough for one night,” you growled, turning on your heel and walking out. You deposited the cup on the kitchen counter, and went upstairs to where you hoped a bathroom would be.
Your back was sticky and smelled sour, and you were muttering curses under your breath as you trudged upstairs. The bathroom was directly across the hall, and you all but dove in, slamming the door behind you.
You took in heaving breaths. You felt so overwhelmed, so out of place, like you were forcing yourself to be someone you’re not. Everything was so much, too much, you felt suffocated. This feeling had been building up all day, you realized, and Terushima spilling his drink on you was just the tipping point.
You looked in the mirror. It was someone you didn’t recognize, hair tousled and face pale. It looked like a stranger. You turned around to see the reflection of where the drink had spilled. It was a cherry red, and ran down your back and even onto the waistband of your pants. It was definitely going to stain. You scowled.
There was a knock at the door, a pause, followed by a hesitant calling of your name.
“Yeah,” I said dryly.
The door cracked open to reveal Tendou, the grin wiped from his face and the enthusiasm drained from his piercing eyes. He just looked plain worried.
“You good?” he asked. “Can I come in?”
You nodded, turning back to face the mirror. Tendou caught a glimpse at the wide stain on your back and grimaced. 
“Y’know, Teru’s always been one of those guys that talks big but really can’t hold his liquor,” Tendou remarked as he let himself in. In his left hand he was carrying a mustard-yellow T shirt. He saw that you had spotted it, and offered it out.
“Figured you didn’t have a change of clothes,” he said. “I’m hoping it’ll work.”
You took it. The material was soft and pliable from being worn, the printing on it faded. You snorted as you realized it had a printing of the periodic table.
“Is this yours?” You asked.
He shook his head. “Teru’s.”
You raised a brow at him. “He gave it to you?”
“Well…,” Tendou said, a hint of mischief in his voice. “Not exactly.”
“So you stole it,” you stated rather than asked.
“I didn’t steal it,” he corrected. “I borrowed it. For you. It’s the least he could do to make up for it.”
You chuckled. “Yeah, okay, that’s true.”
He gestured to the shirt. “Go ahead and get cleaned up.” He then turned to go back downstairs, shutting the door behind him.
After peeling your shirt from your skin, you wiped the stickiness off with a wet washcloth, and pulled the T-shirt over your head. You balled up your soiled shirt and tucked it under your arm.
When you opened the door again, you were surprised to see Tendou still there, leaning up against the stairway railing. 
He offered a smile. “I guess it fits?”
“It’s a little big,” you said. “But yeah, it works.”
His long arms were crossed over his chest, and as he dissected you with his eyes, his brow creased. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
You shrugged, tucking a stray strand of hair behind your ears. You debated telling him, letting him have a peek into your mind. But some part of you still wanted to stay guarded.
“A little overwhelmed, I guess.” You settled on a half-truth. 
“Are you coming back downstairs anytime soon?” he asked.
You shook your head. “Probably not. But you can go ahead.”
“Nah,” he said. “Parties like this are kinda’ lame anyways.”
For a moment, neither of you said or did anything. Tendou then stood up straight and started heading down the hall, pausing to look back and see if you were coming with him. You hesitated.
“Relax,” he hummed. “I know a spot where you can calm down.”
You let him lead you into one of the bedrooms. You paused at the doorway, wondering just where he was going with this, but he didn’t look back as he hefted the window open. Nimbly, he hopped up and pulled himself through, pausing on the sill.
“You coming?” He asked. “Teru’s roof has a pretty sweet view.”
You said nothing as you approached. He got himself all the way out, landing on the roof that started a few feet below the sill. He offered a hand to you, and although you were perfectly capable of getting yourself up there on your own, you decided to humor him and take it.
The September night air was sweet, cool, and most importantly, quiet. The booming bass of the party downstairs was a distant memory as you stepped out onto the roof. You two sat down against the scratching roofing, but you didn’t mind. You were still holding hands from before, but neither of you made any move to pull away.
He smirked. “Told you.”
He had been right; the view really was great. You could see the lights of the city below you from where Terushima’s house sat on a hill. You couldn’t see many stars because of the light pollution, but with how pretty the city was, you couldn’t find it in yourself to care.
You could feel Tendou wordlessly lean into you. He was warm, solid, comforting. You found yourself untangling your hand from his and instead snaking an arm around his waist. He tensed for a moment, as if he hadn’t been expecting you to touch him first, before relaxing and letting his head fall against your shoulder.
“This is nice,” he breathed. 
You simply hummed in response. Your hand danced up and down his side, an innocent exploration. He jolted ever so slightly as your hand brushed against his shoulder blade. You traced your fingers higher, skimming along the searing skin of his milky neck until you raked them up from the bottom of his hair, brushing through.
You heard a sharp intake of breath from him, before he sighed contentedly, letting your fingers gently scrape against his scalp. His hair was stiff and crunchy from the product he put in it, but if you were messing it up, he didn’t say anything.
The two of you stayed on the roof like that for what seemed like forever, saying nothing but feeling everything. He had shifted to sit between your legs, reclined with his back facing you, head resting on your chest. When you stole a glimpse down at him, you saw that his eyelids had fluttered shut.
As if he could feel your gaze upon him, he lazily cracked his eyes open, staring catishly at you. 
“I think you were right,” you said.
Saying nothing, he hefted himself up from your lap to face you, never breaking eye contact. He got close again, foreheads almost pressed together, breaths in the fresh night air mixing together.
And then he was kissing you. 
It was warm and wet, but not heavy. His lips were slow, practiced, knowing how to mold into yours in just the right way. You kissed him back, cupping his face in your hands. His tongue slid out for a moment, making contact with yours in between your mouths pressing together, and then he pulled away.
“I’m getting a little cold,” he said. “Wanna head back down?”
You haphazardly slipped through the window, and followed Tendou downstairs.
The party had died down a bit, but not by much. You could spot a couple passed out on the couch, and a few small groups talking and laughing rather than a crowd of everyone dancing together. Someone had turned the music down—thank God—and although it still smelled like a teenage party, it felt somehow a little more bearable.
When you got to the bottom of the stairs, Tendou turned to you. 
“That was nice,” he said. “Really nice. But I don’t want you getting the wrong idea; I don’t wanna, like… start anything. Romantically. It’s not really how I roll. I’d rather stay just friends, y’know?”
As soon as the words ‘just friends’ left his mouth, you knew it was a lie. You could see it in the blinking of his eyes, the slight twitch of the corners of his mouth, the tilt of his shoulders. 
But you didn’t call him out on it. Instead, you said, “Just friends it is, then.”
And then you let him walk away, believing that you had bought his lie, that you were completely oblivious about his attraction to you
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Commissions open! Check out my page for details :)
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bb-basbusa · 5 years ago
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Marinette biodaughter of Bruce Wayne
This au was inspired by @ozmav maribat au.
· Bruce met Sabine when he was training in with the league of assassins
 Sabine was the top assassin of the league. Highly respected by Ra's Al Ghoul and the rival of lady Shiva.
· At first Bruce and Sabine disliked each other due to their different codes of ethics, but they slowly came to respect each other and even considering each other friends.
 Sabine started questioning the league and started to despise their needless killing, even came to regret killing in some missions in the name of the league.
· With Bruce's influence and help she decides to leave the league of assassins and turn on a new leaf.
·  Of course, Ra's refuses to let go of his top assassin, so he makes a deal with her. He gives Sabine an extremely difficult, almost impossible to complete alone with no help. (this is basically John Wick).
·         She agrees, Bruce tries to talk her out of it. The mission is just impossible and there is an extremely high probability that she will die.
·         This leads both to fight both verbally and physically.
·         It ends with a one-night stand.
·         Both agree not to talk about it, and both leave on bad terms
·         Sabine leaves to complete the mission, during this time Bruce completes his training and leaves the league.
·         Sabine of course completes the mission, much to ra's complete surprise.
·         He is a man of his word and lets Sabine go with a promise to not seek her out again or interfere with her life and those around her.
·         Few weeks later, Sabine discovers that she is pregnant with Bruce's child. And since she an Bruce's friendship ends on bad terms (with Bruce being an emotionally constipated man, who at this point of his life only think about his mission and wouldn't make a good father) Sabine decides not to tell him.
·         Sabine travels for a little bit until she arrives in Paris where she meets Tom.
·         With time they both fall in love with Tom promising to love her and her unborn child as his own.
·         When Marinette is born, Tom officially adopts her as his daughter.
·         Marinette grew up loved from her parents and had a normal happy childhood.
·         Though Sabine did teach her self-defense because you can't bee to careful.
·         When Marinette was ten years old, she meets Damian Wayne. He was separated from his guardian and got lost.  
·         Marinette offered to help him, but Damian at this point of his life was a little shit and refused. Too proud to even admit he was lost.
·         But Marinette was not deterred, and with great determination, kindness, and whining, she was able to make him cave.
·         She shows him the way back to his hotel, and saw Dick waiting outside worried out of his mind.
·         He saw Damian approaching and immediately ran towards the kids and scooped the baby assassin into a hug.
·         " Dami, I was so worried"
·         "cease your embarrassing antics Grayson, I am clearly in perfect shape. As if anything in this miserable city can harm me"
·         "hey, Paris is amazing. You take that back" shrieked Marinette
·         Only then does Dick notice a petite Asian girl glaring at Damian.
·         "well hello, who might you be?"
·         "I'm Marinette, I helped him find the hotel. He was lost" came the smugly reply
·         "I wasn’t lost you imbecile, I didn't require any assistance from you. I just "accepted your help" because you were annoying and couldn't shut up"
·         This basically started a shouting match between Marinette and Damian, while Dick observed with amusement.
·         He never seen Damian act like a child since he came to his care (Bruce is lost in time at this point, and Dick is Damián's legal guardian) and started to thick that hanging around Marinette may benefit Damian.
·         He invites Marinette to the local park, where Titus can stretch his legs, an takes her there with her parents' permeation of course.
·         Over the next few days Dick invites Marinette to come with him and Damian (much to the latter's chagrin) whenever they have free time.
·         The kids' relationship only started to improve after Marinette helped Damian take down Chloe, who was acting as her glorious bratty self.
·         It involved headbands, tooth pics, and a lipstick
·         Damián started to respect Marinette and enjoy her company after that (though he won't admit it)
·         Marinette starts talking about her friend at home, while her parents listens with amusement until she mentions his full name Damian Wayne.
·         Sabine immediately starts asking about his father.
·         At first Sabine wanted Marinette to stay away from the Waynes, but seeing how happy her Daughter is, she decided against it.
·         Fearing that both kids with time would develop feeling for their unknown half sibling, she calls Dick and tells him about Marinette's parentage.
·         Dick doesn't believe this, so Sabine gives him permission to perform a DNA test.
·         The test was done, Dick was not amused because damn it Bruce another one
·         They both decided to tell the Kids about their blood relationship
·         Damian was furious and didn't accept this, at this point of his life he thought he was the blood so of Batman and no one else
·         He ended saying some hurtful thing words towards Marinette
·         Marinette ends up crying, and runs out of the room
·         Damian is immediately consumed by guilt, especially after Dick gives him the "I am very disappointed in you" look.
·         He goes to Marinette's room to apologies and hears her crying through the door and feels even worse.
·         It takes a lot of him since he never apologized to anyone before, he does it but awkwardly.
·         Marinette forgives him because she is a forgiving person and asks Damian not to say stuff like that to her again.
·         They become close after that. They exchange numbers and e-mails to talk to each other when Damian and Dick return to Gotham.
·         Tom and Sabine are great influence over Damian. With the Dupain-chengs he starts to act more like a boy and less like the heir to the league of assassins. Dick is very happy and grateful about it.
·         The couple also parent Dick and coddles him. Both boys are adopted to the family now.
·         In Summer Marinette visits Gotham and meets Alfred. The butler grew quite fond of her.
·         She may strongly resemble Sabine, but Alfred can see Martha Wayne in her smile. A little of Thomas Wayne in the twinkle of her eyes. And a lot of Bruce when she is concentrating on something.
·         Marinette also inherited Bruce's intelligence, so she quickly discovers the family's secret.
·         She joins the boys in their training, because extra self-defense lessons can't hurt, but not on petrol. Sabine was very against it.
·         Dick introduces her to trapeze, which she fell in love with, together they are the acrobat duo.
·         So she spars with the boys, flies with Dick, bakes and cooks with Alfred (" I am pleased to know that at least one Wayne will grow to be a functioning adult". "Alfred please.STAHP")
·         And once she is introduced to the girls ("she is so cute" "stop squealing fat girl") she'll hack with Barbra, dance with Cass, and will have a girl's night out with all her older sisters especially Steph.
·         Jason meets her after he comes to the cave to use the bat-computer, then out of nowhere a petite Asian girl pops out and offers him cookies.
·         "I only known Marinette for five minutes, but if anything happens to her I'll kill everybody in this cave then myself"
·         Jason and Damian start fighting for the position of favorite brother.
·         Months passes and Marinette grows closer to all the bat-family except Tim, because he is still looking for Bruce and didn't keep tabs on what's happening in Gotham lately.
·         The Dupain-Chengs adopts the rest of the Bat-family except Alfred. Alfred adopts you, you do not adopt him.
·         The family becomes closer and the communication problem is slowly fixed.
·         Jason becomes more open. He and Dick talk about their issues, there was shouting, yelling, accusations and tears. But in the end, it was better. Not perfect but better.
·         Also, Jason finally has healthy positive parental figures in his life. "have you been eating?" "I'm proud of you son" "we love you" and other words were spoken towards Jason and the kids.
·         "o-okay" he chocks on tears.
·         Alfred later introduces the Dupain-chengs to Ma and Pa Kent and joins the " the gathering of family member of heroes, who have more common sense than the heroes"
·         Basically, the family members of heroes meet up monthly for brunch to bitch about their hero family member, while trading recipes and baby photos.
·         Alfred is the founder. Ma Kent is the president.
·         Bruce comes back and everyone is happy. No one tells him about Marinette. They all decide to troll him.
·         Marinette and Bruce accidently meet in the cave.
·         "Papa' it's good to have you back" Marinette happily hugs Bruce
·         Bruce is holding his arms awkwardly in the air, while looking down at Marinette with confusion. "who are you?!"  
·         "it's me Marinette, don't you remember me" insert fake tears
·         "A-ahh?!"
·         "Alfred Papa doesn't remember me" she wails dramatically into the butler's chest "he forgotten all about me"
·         " Honestly master Bruce, I raised you better than this. Yet here you are disowning your own daughter.
·         "yeah, shame on you B" came the eager response from Steph and Jason.
·         " I am disappointed in you father" Damian joins in. Cass nods in agreement.
·         Dick is struggling to keep his poker face intact, Barbra is pinching his arm hard to keep him away from laughing and exposing the prank.
·         Tim is sleep deprived and confused as hell.
·         The family takes bets to see when would Bruce figure out they're trolling him.
·         Spoilers alert he never does
·         They end up telling him and Alfred wins the pot.
·         "World's greatest detective indeed"
·         "alright I get it Alfred"
·         Bruce ends up adoring Marinette. He and Sabine talk again after a decade of not talking and becomes somewhat friends
·         He doesn't publicly announce Marinette as his daughter and doesn't claim her, because Tom is her father as well. And it won't be fair to him.
·         She may have Bruce's blood, but the heart is all Tom. He is grateful that his daughter grew up loved. He doesn’t want to take Tom away from her.
·         When she became Ladybug, she immediately tells her family. They're all freak out about 13 years old being a hero on her own.
·         " you need a partner"
·         "Papa chat noir is my partner"
·         "Dick go to Paris"
·         Due to the bat-family involvement, hawkmoth is defeated fast. And he is spending the rest of his life in jail.
·         Adrien goes to live with his aunt in England for a while.
·         Zatanna and Constantine are called to see if they can wake Emilie from her magic induced coma.
·         They do. And Adrien goes back to his mom
·         Hawkmoth civilian identity was never outed to the public. The justice league wanted to give the Agrestes some privacy. But there are some conspiracy theories.
·         Due to the influence of her older sisters, Marinette isn't as boy crazy as in the show. But she develops an innocent crush on both Adrien and Luka. Much to Bruce's chagrin
·         "you won't start dating until your thirty"
·         "of course papa, of course"
·         Keeping Marinette away from dating was the toughest battle Bruce ever fought. The rest of the family are just sitting behind and enjoying the show
·         Her wasn't the most normal or perfect, but Marinette loves it any way.  
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coffee-chaos · 4 years ago
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@mollyinthewater you made me rethink life choices and idk what to do with this information but here's my top 10 Gavin Reed things I've done (at work)
- Had 8 cups of coffee; asked my fren how much she thought I've had and got way unhealthy flattered when she said 15; so I went for another one.
- Started a Gay chat🌈
- Read BDSM smut during business meeting.
- Hid under a table so an annoying colleague wouldn't find me.
- Showed romantic memes & cat pics to a fren when she was stressed & sad.
- Said 'thanks for tolerating me' way too often.
- Complained about stuff and ran away when my colleague tried to forward her therapist contacts.
- Worked anywhere but my desk & rushed between office rooms procrastinating and making others procrastinate.
- Laughed so hard at a meme song I got stomach cramps and cried; also HR manager came up to ask to stay quiet, spoiler alert: I didn't.
- Made dick drawings; now this thing is adopted by 60% of the office; dicks are all different and nice and make me proud, the last one had a suit and a hat.
- Stole food, cigarettes and office supplies, and coworkers' chair (temporarily).
- Worked for 10-15 hours a day for months with no weekends; that's my fav, cause no fucking matter what idiocy I get involved and drag others to, I always get shit done.
- Screamed.
Now share yours ❤️
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vikingpoteto · 5 years ago
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Red Robin under the spotlight
Read on AO3 
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Relationships:  GEN. Tim Drake & Jason Todd, Stephanie Brown & Tim Drake
Summary: Red Robin and Red hood are basically urban legends, no one is sure they're real. That is, until there is a picture of the two of them grinning at each other on Gotham Gazette's front page.
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Tim Drake is having… a day. 
Stuck in his office for the afternoon, he is praying for nightime to come soon so he can put on his suit and vent his frustration by beating up some unsuspecting criminal. He’d known being a CEO wasn’t particularly fun, but he didn’t expect the board of directors to be babies for so long. 
He skims his proposal for what feels like the hundredth time unsure of how to make it clearer that that is the best course of action for their investments. The fact that he is only 18 should not trump his very solid, data-based arguments. 
So he’s already in a bad mood and praying for a distraction when his office door swings open and Tam Fox storms in.
“Timothy!” she shouts. 
He feels like he's about to learn he should be careful with what he wishes.
“Hey, Tam, I missed you too?” He tries.
Behind her, his secretary makes a helpless gesture as if trying to communicate she tried to stop Tam. Tim gives the woman a tired smile and makes a dismissive gesture.
Ignoring that, Tam slams the door closed and repeats for emphasis: “Timothy.” She pushes an iPad into Tim’s chest. “What is the meaning of this?”
Raising an eyebrow, he takes the iPad and looks at the screen, noticing he’s staring at a Gotham Gazette article and… Tim’s heart stops.
The headline screaming at his face says RED DYNAMIC DUO? by Vicki Vale and beneath it…
“Oh god,” Tim whimpers.
Beneath the headline there’s a picture of him and the Red Hood. 
Or, well, Red Robin and Red Hood. They’re sitting on the fire escape of one of the abandoned buildings in Jason’s territory and both are seemingly at ease. Too at ease. There are two BatBurger bags at their side and their fingers are intertwined. Red Robin is staring at their joined hands with a wide smile. Fucking hell. Tim always makes a point of never smiling in front of anyone when he’s in his suit, he has a reputation to protect. He doesn’t know if it’s better or worse that Red Hood isn’t wearing his helmet, because it emans his open grin is visible as well - and thank god  Jason has the habit of wearing a domino under his helmet. 
Who the hell took that picture? How the hell did they go unnoticed by both Tim and Jason?
He then starts reading the article, every word feeling like a punch to the gut. 
Gotham City has seen its share of vigilantes over the years and, unlike public figures such as Superman, they prefer to keep to themselves, making many people wonder whether they’re even human. As a shot captured by an amateur photographer that chose to remain anonymous, we find out at least a pair of the many Gotham “heroes” are closer to us than we thought. 
The vigilante known as Red Robin Gotham's patheon of heroes a couple of months ago and little is known about him. He’s been seen working with the likes of Batman, Robin and even Batgirl, making us all think he’s one of the good guys. It seems like Red Robin’s circle of friendships doesn’t include only Justice League members, though.
The Red Hood, the man so tenderly smiling at Red Robin, is a notorious mob boss whose territory's size, GCPD especulates, rivals Black Mask’s. Red Hood wanders between both criminal activities and a violent brand of justice and, while he's been seen working side-by-side with heroes like Nightwing, a hero that since has only been seen in Bludhaven, no one can claim to have seen the Red Hood so comfortable around one of the bats of Gotham
The two young men were pictured in a tender moment. Could this mean that Red Robin is straying towards villany? Is the Red Hood is considering changing his ways? Or, perhaps, are we facing a pair of starcrossed lovers, separated by different set of morals, but still unable to stay away from one another? 
Tim makes an inhumane sound. The words  star crossed lovers  jump from the screen, burning his eyes and making him wish he was going over a dumb business proposal still.
“Well?” Tam demands. “What is that, Tim?”
“I don’t know, Tam,” he answers, his voice weak. “What on earth- How the hell… Oh, god .”
“Why were you hanging out with the Red Hood?”
“Stakeout,” Tim says simply.
“Why were you on a stakeout with the freaking Red Hood?”
At that, Tim recovers enough to feel a bit miffed. That’s the same tone she had last year when Tim was working with assassins and he gets offended on his brother’s behalf. Even if, you know, said brother had also been somewhat related to the assassins in question. In the past.
“Hey, Hood is not as bad as the news make him look. Sure, he’s not exactly clean, but he’s a valuable undercover agent and…”
Tam makes sounds of a woman whose white Valentino bag had liquid lipstick spilled in. “Does that mean you  are  dating the Red Hood?”
“What? NO!”
Tim pinches the bridge of his nose. God, what a mess. 
“He’s my brother,” he says. 
Tam looks like she goes through the 7 stages of grief in a very short time and, honestly, Tim feels for her. He likes Tam a lot. She is smart and strong and the poor girl has had to deal with so much since she and Tim became friends.
“Are you telling me… that Dick Grayson…”
“No, Dick’s not the Red Hood.”
She stares at the picture again and then at him. “This isn’t Duke or Damian, Tim.”
“You’re right. It’s a long story. I can’t tell you, though. I trust you but Hood’s identity isn’t my secret to share.” 
Tam closes her eyes and breathes in and out slowly. After all the crap she had to deal as one of Red Robin’s friends, a stranged brother that happened to be a crime lord (an anti-hero, really) wasn’t that far fetched. She didn’t know much about the Drakes because Tim didn’t talked about them, so, for all she knows, Red Hood could be Jack’s or Janet’s bastard child. Although Tim can figure her theories, he doesn’t try to explain anything. Whatever she works out is better than letting her know Red Hood is Bruce Wayne’s son brought back from the dead.
“Fine. You’re not dating a criminal. You’re a criminal’s brother.”
“I mean… if you think about it, I’m a criminal too.” He smiles sheepishly under her glare. “Being a vigilante isn’t exactly something I can put on my resume.” 
Shaking her head, Tam checks the picture again. “What were you even doing? Because it looks like you’re holding hands and finding it hilarious.”
“We… hm. We were thumb wrestling.”
She stares at him, her expression empty of any emotion. Tim cringes.
“Look, not everything is death traps and high risks, alright? Sometimes stakeouts get boring!”
“You were laughing your head off because you were having a thumb war with the Red Hood,” Tam deadpans.
“Hm. Actually the thumb war wasn't that funny, that was him cheating. I was winning so he kept talking shit about Dick’s past to make me laugh and lose focus.”
Tam finally sits down and she looks at ceiling as if she’s considering all the life decisions that lead her to this moment. At this point, Tim knows she’s just being dramatic, because knowing Red Hood cheats at thumb war for certain isn’t more shocking than the time she met Tim. 
“The thumb was isn’t important now, though,” Tim says. “ This  is a huge problem. Hood’s gonna be in hot water if people think he’s  friends  with a hero.”
He refuses to use the word lovers, because ew. Sure they’re not related by blood, but… ew. Tim  sees  him as a brother, damn it.
“Well, I’m afraid there’s not a lot we can do now,” Tam says apologetically. “The article’s been up since this morning. Even if we have them take it down, it’s already out there. #RedDynamicDuo is trending on Twitter.”
Oof. That’s… oof.
Tim intertwines his fingers and glares at the tablet in front of him as if waiting for the puzzle to solve itself. He knows it won’t, so it’s up to him to fix this. His burnt out brain suggests calling Bart and asking him to run back in time and stop that cursed thumb war. His practical brain has half a mind to call Oracle and see how much online evidence she can get rid of. He has to contact Gotham Gazette and threaten them into not putting vigilante’s identities at risk by posting such pictures, although he doesn’t hold high hopes for that course of action. What he needs now is a bigger scandal, although he fails to think of something more dramatic than Red Robin and Red Hood being buddies…
Right as he’s starting to feel a bit forlorn, his phone buzzes on the table. A picture of Dick smiling flashes on the screen and Tim allows himself to perk up for a moment. Dick for sure will be able to help him.
“Dick!” He picks up, full of hope.
Tim is greeted with cackling. Dick’s cackling.
He groans. “Richard.”
“AHAHAHAHA O-oh god, you… aha... b-baby bird, you… HAHAHAHA--”
Tim isn’t paid enough for this. He hangs up.
“Can you help me with this?” He asks.
“Don’t I always?” Tam quirks an eyebrow.
Smiling tiredly, he stands. “I’m taking the rest of the afternoon off. Can you take care of… you know… day job stuff?”
“I guess. Good luck with your… your family thing.”
 THE BIRDNEST
spoiler alert: *insert game of thrones joke here*
In the hood: Go fuck yourself, Stephanie
spoiler alert: not judging u bro he hella cute
WonderWing: steph please
cassandra cain-wayne: ?
send me a Signal: they’re talking about that picture of Hood and Red holding hands cass
yumm: were NOT holding hands
cassandra cain-wayne: I print that picture.
In the hood: W H Y ! ?
cassandra cain-wayne: cute :) 
spoiler alert: she right and she should say it
In the hood: Steph, turn on your location. I just want to talk.
yumm: stephanie I hv pics of u sleep drooling on me from that that 1 patrol dnt test me
spoiler alert: shut up red dynamic duo
 Tim hates the internet.
Barbara is kindly trying her best to muffle the online reaction, but there is only so much she can do without outright deleting people’s tweets. Tim knows for a fact that that would only cause a bigger uproar, so he asks her to settle for burying mentions of them under a fake algorithm. 
He has yet to think of gossip hot enough to top the rumors, but he doesn’t think even his fake engagement to Tam last year received so much attention. A glimpse into Gotham’s elusive heroes’ personal lives was too exciting to let go quickly.
When he walks into his apartment, he wants nothing but to take a hot shower and a nap. He knows he can’t, though. 
As well as he knows he isn’t alone. 
He plays it cool, walking in as though he doesn’t notice the person in the shadows. He drops his keys and phone on the nearest table as he would normally and turns around too abruptly to allow a reaction, his fist connecting to… someone’s palm.
“Nice reflexes, Baby Bird,” Jason says, quirking an eyebrow as though mildly impressed.
Tim groans. “Would it kill you to use the door?”
“It might, better not risk it.”
“It shaves five years of my life span every time I come home and you’re waiting in the shadows. Of all of Bruce’s habits to pick up…”
Jason simply shrugs. “So… what’s up,  honey? ”
“Ew, don’t say that,” Tim groans.
Keeping his nonchalant facade, Jason lets himself fall into Tim’s couch as though he belongs there. Tim heads to his room to change into more humane clothes.
“I’m assuming Dickie shared the news already,” Jason says.
“He couldn’t stop laughing long enough to say anything,” Tim replies from his closet. “Tam was kind enough to show me, though.”
“Tam… is that your ex-fiancée? Hmm… The news sure keep shipping you with everyone, speaking of which.”
Grumbling the whole time, Tim puts on a purple hoodie he might or might not have stolen from Stephanie and that he wears whenever he’s stressed. He wears that hoodie a lot. Heading back to the living room barefoot and feeling slightly more prepared to deal with the situation, he says:
“I’m assuming you aren’t here just to hang out.”
Jason gives him an unimpressed look. “I’ll give you three guesses.”
Tim blinks once. Twice.  No, it can’t be that… “ Everyone thinks you’re a rat.”
“Bingo.”
And this situation keeps getting better and better. Red Hood is feared enough that he can get away with hanging out with the goody two shoes every now and again and keep his rep. Being caught eating burgers and giggling with a hero was a whole new animal. 
They have to assume Hood’s safe houses were compromised as well. The point of having many hideouts is that you’re never left with nowhere to go, but even Jason wasn’t prepared to have everyone in his territory turn on him. That and they all had been raised and trained to be paranoid. It was too big of a risk to assume he’d be safe in a known place.
“Crap,” Tim mutters. 
“I considered ditching Gotham and spending some time with Roy instead…”
“But that would be as good as a confession. You’d never gain their respect again,” Tim completes for him.
Jason nods. 
The only silver-lining about this situation is that this is Jason. Granted he isn’t too angry to think, Jason is practical and willing to do what’s needed, even if it’s annoying or if it makes him uncomfortable. Tim likes working with him because of that.
“You know where the extra blankets are,” Tim says. 
Because, of course, if Jason can’t be at his own place and he can’t be with Roy and Kory, he’d crash Tim’s place. The manor isn’t really an option for him and Tim doesn’t blame him for that. 
“The plan of action?”
“I’ll let you know as soon as I figure out.”
Jason sighs. “I’m going to punch something in your Red Robin cave.”
“Be my guest.”
 Damage control is necessary, of course, especially for Red Hood’s safety, but there is something bothering Tim more. He opens the news and studies the picture. It’s a damn good shot, almost looks like it was staged. He closes his eyes and tries to remember that night. In order to take that picture, the photographer would have to be in of of the buildings across the street and they’d have to be good enough to go unnoticed not by one, but by two highly trained vigilantes, one of which had his senses enhanced by the Lazarus pit. 
He messages Babs quickly for more info on whoever sent those pictures to the news, but not even Oracle had managed to track them yet. It sounds like the photographer walked into Vicki Vale on the street and handed her the picture, because there was no digital footprint of such interaction.
Without any more ideas, he puts on his suit and heads out, glad that is patrol night. Perhaps punching criminals will give him some clarity.
Tim is nowhere near closing any of his cases and Gotham is unusually quiet because of course the criminals would choose tonight of all nights to be chill. The night Tim needs a crime. That’s why he’s more than a little thankful when a crackling sound in his comm lets him know someone’s trying to send him a message.
“Hey, hot stuff,” a familiar voice calls, “I have an underground gambling den to dismantle tonight, you want in?”
Red Robin smiles. “Is that a date?”
“I don’t know, is it? I don’t want Red Hood coming after me.”
“Batgirl.”
She laughs shamelessly. He hopes Barbara isn’t listening. Although the alternative would be Wendy listening, and he doesn’t know which one would be worse. Steph’s sense of humor isn’t for everyone and while, Tim doesn’t mind their inside jokes and got used to her eternal flirting, he feels as though those should remain between the two of them only.
“I’m serious, though,” Steph continues. “I don’t think backup is needed per se, but I miss fighting criminals with you. Plus I figured you could use a punching bag or two.”
He grins. He just  really  loves Steph. 
“Send me the details. I’ll meet you there.”
Turns out it’s a pretty standard burst for them. Gambling den covering a massive drug operation, because this is Gotham. Why wouldn’t they use an illegal thing to cover another more illegal thing? That sounded like a great idea. 
He finds Batgirl waiting for him on top of a building. She simply smiles and points at the shady alley down the street. 
“Gentlemen first?” she offers. 
“It’s your case.”
With a nod, she dives towards the ground and Red Robin follows her closely, frowning in confusion when she doesn’t dropkicks any windows. Instead, she casually strolls towards the back of the alley where a suspicious metal door that could easily go unnoticed if it didn’t scream CRIMINAL ACTIVITY HERE. Batgirl knocks at the door and gestures at Red Robin to stay away.
A slit on the door slides open and a confused crook tries unsuccessfully to see who’s there. With both vigilantes’ out of his line of sight, the poor bastard has no option other than opening the door to check. Batgirl swiftly pulls him into a headlock as soon as he walks into view and Red Robin’s grinning face is the last thing the man sees before the pressured applied makes him pass out.
Red Robin doesn’t figure what Steph’s plan is until she cuffs the unconscious bouncer and stands straight, offering her arm.
“You’re so dramatic.” He rolls his eyes, even as he takes it.
“Shush, you think I’m awesome.”
That he does. Especially when the two of them climb down into the basement turned illegal cassino with their arms locked as if they’re a couple. It’s cartoonishly comic how long it takes everyone to realize Red Robin and Batgirl are standing on the entrance, looking around at the 50 different illegal activities happening at once. 
Not as comic as when Batgirl shouts over the music: “Please, don’t stop on our account!”
The gamblers sober enough to freeze in horror. 
“Before we start, anyone wants to just give themselves in?” Red Robin offers.
That’s when guns start firing and all hell breaks loose. 
 The night ends, as it would, with Batgirl and Red Robin walking home a trio of strippers. The women weren’t to blame that their work environment was less than ideal and they certainly didn’t need to be left tied up waiting for the GCPD like the mobsters Steph and Tim beat up tonight.
Red Robin wanted to just watch them from the top ot the buildings and make sure they got home safe, but Batgirl insisted they walked alongside the women. Their costumes don’t look completely out of place near them and Red Robin doesn’t know what to think of that.
For a second, he thinks he hears someone behind them. Everytime he turns around, he finds nothing but an empty alley, so he shrugs if off as him getting hit tooo many times.
While Batgirl excitedly chats with two of the women about their future employment - one of them is in this line of work just to get by, the other genuinely enjoys sensual dancing as a form of art but wishes she could work somewhere better - when the third of them discreetly detaches herself from the group to walk closer to Red Robin.
She still looks tense and guarded, her arms tightly wrapped around herself and Tim wishes he had a jacket to offer her. The way she sideeyes him says she wants to say something, but is too nervous to start. Not wanting to betray his persona, he simply waits, trying to appear as non threatening as possible.
“Thanks a lot for savin’ us, Red Robin,” the woman says finally. “I can’t believe I’m meetin’ ya.”
He gives her a small smile. “I’m just glad you’re safe, ma’am, there’s no need to thank me.”
“I just wanted ta say… I get ya.”
Red Robin tilts his head to the side. “Ma’am?”
“The thing with your man. Must ta’ be hard dating the Red Hood. I know how it is.”
He was… He was getting sympathy from a stripper with bad taste in men.
“There’s nothing gross between Hood and I!” He lets out before he can help himself, his voice a little louder than intended.
The other women startle at his outburst and turn to him, wary. One of them reaches for what is clearly a pocket knife that she thinks is cleverly hidden in her bra.
He sighs. “I’m sorry, ma’am, just… Batgirl, I believe you’ve got things from here. I’m taking off.”
She gives him a concerned look, but ultimately nods. Under Batgirl’s and the three strippers perplexed glares, Red Robin grapples his way out of there.
 Tim wakes up around noon feeling as though he was hit by a truck, as he does when he sleeps longer than three hours a night. He slowly sits up and looks around his messy room, wondering how come he’s feeling so miserable. The smell of food stirs him into some sort of alertness.
Right. He’s not home alone today.
Yawning and scratching his belly, he forces himself to get out of bed. He know that the longer he stays the more likely he is to slip into a coma, his body demanding compensation for years of sleep deprivation. Tim drags his feet towards his kitchen where he finds one of Gotham’s most dangerous vigilantes humming to himself as he makes breakfast. Or Lunch. Brunch. Whatever.
“And here I thought I was the family’s zombie,” Jason says in lieu of good morning.
Tim grumbles something about his brother being too comfortable in Tim’s kitchen, but he doesn’t dare complain. Jason is probably the only person that uses Tim’s stove and one of the perks of having him over is that he does cook. A lot. 
The one disadvantage about having Jason over is…
A knife lodges itself on the counter in front of Tim when he tries to reach for the coffee pot. Tim didn’t even see him throwing it. He glares at his brother.
“Food first. Coffee after,” Jason says. 
“I’m too nauseous to eat, I just woke up.”
Again without breaking eye contact with the pot he’s stirring, Jason blindly reaches for a package of crackers casually left on the counter and hands it to Tim.
Tim makes sure to give him his best rebellious teenager glare before grabbing the stupid crackers and sitting down to eat them. Stupid Jason with his stupid boredom. Tim had forgotten Jason goes into full mom mode when he has nothing else to do and that he’s particularly obnoxious about Tim’s eating habits.
“I consume the necessary calories,” Tim mumbles over his cracker.
“Okay, Damian.”
Tim throws a cracker at him. Jason easily dodges without looking, which is kind of annoying.
After that, the two brothers fall into comfortable silence. Tim knows Jason wants to talk about their plan of action, but he knows Tim is nowhere near awake enough to hold a conversation. Besides, Jason doesn’t like being bothered while he’s cooking anyway.
By the time the food is ready, the crackers worked their magic and Tim no longer feels as though his stomach is ready to puke out its emptiness. He grabs dishes he hadn’t used in quite a while and sets the table for the two of them. The brothers start eating in silence, Tim slowly recovering his sense of self - no wonder he goes for so long without sleeping, he takes too long to reboot when he does - and Jason mindlessly scrolling through his phone. 
Then something on the small screen makes Jason choke on his food. 
Tim quirks an eyebrow. “You okay?”
“Hm… Timmy, you may wanna take a look at this.”
“What?” Tim takes Jason’s phone. “Oh, for fuck’s sake !” 
It’s another news article. The picture is fortunately less detailed, just a red and black silhouette against Gotham’s sky that may or may not be Red Robin standing over one of the many gargoyles. The text, however.  
RED ROBIN MAKES HOMOPHOBIC REMARK AND SHOCKS ADMIRER
Gotham’s newest vigilante busted an underground gambling den last night. Despite his heroic deed, his words after the fact were less than commendable. When questioned about his relationship with the Red Hood by one of the women he rescued, the hero allegedly said that there’s “Nothing gross between him and Hood.”
“Personally, I was shocked,” said the woman in question, Krystal Math, 25  years old. “Red Robin became my favorite hero when I heard he also has a dead-beat boyfriend. I was starting to finally see myself in one of those bats, you know? I couldn’t believe when he said being gay is gross. Never meet your heroes, I guess.”
   THE BIRDNEST
WonderWing sent a screenshot.
WonderWing: red robin is cancelled for homophobia, pass it on
Robin: Good. It’s about time we rid ourselves of him.
Cassandra Cain: Little brother does not approve gay rights? :(
yumm: im literally bisexual
spoiler alert: he avoiding the question
in the hood: #redrobinisoverparty
yumm: I hate this fucking family
 Tim hasn’t stopped pacing around the room since he read the most recent article. Those were his exact words by the letter, meaning someone had been listening. He doubts Krystal, bless her heart, was the one going to the news with his “homophobic remark”. 
Having basically given up on getting Tim to calm down, Jason is the one to get the porch door open for Steph. Because apparently she’s been learning from Jason and acquired his hatred for front doors. Steph knows how Tim gets, so she promptly ignores him and gets comfortable on the reading chair to check the article fully.
“This is nuts,” Steph says. “We were being careful. I made sure of it.”
Tim believes her. Batman and Robin are basically public figures at this point, even if they don’t interact with civilians if they can help it. Red Robin and the Signal were heard of and spotted around the city, but not a lot of people really  know  of them. Red Hood was basically a urban legend until recently and Black Bat sill is. Batgirl, however, is known for being a people hero. 
She was, back in Barbara’s time, stopped for a bit with Cass, but Steph embraced the old tradition whole heartedly. She would walk people home late at night to make sure they were safe, wave at little girls in the bus, talk to kidnapping victims until they were under heavy blankets handed by the police. Steph was extroverted and charming and she used that fully as Batgirl like she never could as Spoiler. That being said, she and Barbara always made a point to avoid pictures, security cameras and whatnot. If there was a hero good at hanging with civilians while unnoticed by the media, that hero was Stephanie Brown.
Tim’s phone is buzzing. He ignores it in favor of stomping around some more. 
“Well, something must have slipped your watchful eye,” Jason says, shrugging.
Steph glares at him. “Mine, perhaps, but are you implying someone went unnoticed by Oracle?”
“Well, someone obviously did,” Tim snaps, tossing his phone at the couch in frustration. “What happened after I left, Steph?”
“Nothing,” she says honestly. “I walked the ladies home. Krystal was a bit miffed but she didn’t say anything, so I thought she was just a shipper upset that her OTP wasn’t canon.”
“You think she went to the news after?” Jason suggests.
Steph frowns. “Why would she? She didn’t look like she had media connections exactly.”  
Tim’s phone, that bounced off the couch and fell with a soft thud on the carpet, continues to explode with texts. He sighs and stops to pick it up and finally answer them.
“Appearances can be deceiving,” Jason argues. Then turns to Tim: “You should look into her. I’m gonna check other possible sources.”
“Hm-hum, just a second,” Tim mumbles, typing furiously. “Damian is being a nightmare and asking for help on a case.”
“Wack. Are you telling him to solve his own cases instead of using your intell to impress Bruce?”
Tim glares at Jason.
“Really? C’mon, Timmy, we’ve been over this.”
Stephanie gives them a puzzled look. “You’ve been over… Dami being a nightmare?”
“Jason says that whenever someone is mean to me I should reply by attacking them where hurts the most,” Tim explains.
“He knows all of our weaknesses and he has the quickest thinking,” Jason says, frustrated. “The least he should do is stand up for himself with that knowledge!”
"Kinda rich coming from the guy that tried to kill him," Steph says, quirking an eyebrow.
"Steph," Tim scowls. "He didn't know me then and the pit rage--"
"Timmy," Jason cuts him off. 
Tim sighs. "Besides now I could off him in 20 different ways if he tried any of that shit again. There. Happy, Jason?"
"That's my baby brother."
Steph smiles at him. “You know what? You’re onto something, Jaybird.”
Tim interrupts his walk of worry again to smile a bit. Something about Stephanie and Jason agreeing on something is immensely satisfying.
Still, on the matter at hand, Tim says, “If I go off on Damian, Dick’s gonna get mad…”
“Then go off on Dick as well,” Steph promptly suggests.
Jason high-fives her. “Atta girl. Besides if Dick doesn’t want us to tell Damian to fuck off he has to work harder on teaching him not to be a little shit. Everyone here has a tragic backstory here and we all know Damian goes too far sometimes.”
Tim shakes his head again. “Regardless, Damian’s case will have to wait. We’re gonna go with your plan, Jay. And Steph…”
“Wow, no way, José. I’m just here as an eyewitness. I don’t want to get involved with homophobes and end up shipped with Jason or some shit.”
Tim glares at her. “I was going to offer you some of our leftovers, but since you’re not interested, that’s fine.”
While Jason laughs and Steph protests, he proceeds to look for his laptop, hoping this isn’t going to be a dead end. 
 “This is a dead end,” Tim declares.
From what he can find, Krystal wasn’t even paid for her impromptu interview. Apparently Vicki Vale showed up at her place to confirm the veracity of a story that she heard God knows where. 
Dick is in Bludhaven, but he insisted on facetiming them when he realized his brothers were struggling, even if he mostly just made worried faces from Tim’s phone as Tim, Jason and Steph exchanged notes. As a rule of thumb, Tim doesn’t involve his siblings in his cases since he became Red Robin, but this is definitely an all hands on deck situation. Tim isn’t desperate enough to get Bruce involved, but he’s getting there. Especially when Dick says:
“Babs couldn’t find anything in Vicki’s email or phone. She’s double checking all of Vicki's sources, but so far it’s been no good.”
“We could always get Vale and hang her by the ankles on top of some building until she talks,” Jason suggests. "Let's go old school on her."
Everyone ignores Jason. Tim stands for another mug of coffee. Dick lets out a frustrated sigh. Steph keeps watching all of them from the couch, where she’s been lying down and tossing gummy bears into her mouth for the past half-hour. 
When no one acknowledges him, Jason sighs and stands. “Alright, this’ been fun. I’m going to patrol.”
Dick frowns. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”
“He can’t vanish,” Steph says. “One thing is crashing Tim’s place to make sure he won’t get ambushed in his down time. If Red Hood goes AWOL he might as well admit he’s working with the Batclan.”
Jason nods. “If I don’t do my job, next thing I know Black Mask takes over my stuff.” 
“Can’t have Black Mask taking over his stuff,” Steph agrees.
Dick glances at Tim as though expecting him to disagree with the plan. Tim lets out a defeated sigh. “He’s right. Just… make sure to find a safe place to change into your gear so no one sees you. If there are any safe places, that is…”
Jason rolls his eyes. Tim knows he’s going full Robbie Downer mode, as Jason likes to call it, but he can’t help it. It’s not often that he finds himself without any ideas. He  should  have been able to solve this already. Since nothing comes to mind, he starts imagining unrealistic scenarios in hopes that they’ll give him some insight outside of the box.  AU in which I was never shipped with my brother by some nosey reporter. AU in which I went out Damian instead of Jason that night.
Tim groans in frustration. “Why did it have to be Jason? We could get away with me having a thumb war with literally anyone. If it was Batman out there, this wouldn’t be that much of a problem.”
“Maybe if you hung out with all your brothers and not just Jason there wouldn’t be as many rumors about you and Red Hood,” Dick mumbles.
Tim glares at the phone. 
“Really? You wanna go there? You wanna talk favoritism, Richard? Because you’ve been favoring Damian for-freaking-ever.”
“Drag him!” Jason cheers. 
“Tim,” Dick says, looking genuinely upset, “I love all-”
“Save it,” Steph cuts in. “We all have favorites Dick, there is no use denying it.”
Because Dick’s eyebrows are knitted in confusion, Tim clarifies: “Bruce’s favorite is Cass, yours is Damian, Jason’s is… I don’t know, his guns. Steph is my favorite, unfortunately. Steph’s favorite is Cass, Cass’ favorite is Duke, Duke doesn’t have favorites, he’s the only good person in this family, and Damian’s is also you.”
Steph nods. “You did it! You broke the Bat Family dynamics to its bare essentials!”
“And that is why Tim is my favorite. After my guns,” Jason adds.
“Jason, we do not rate our siblings.”
“That’s why you’re in last place, Dick.”
Ignoring Dick’s enraged noises, Tim sets his mug aside. “I’m going patrolling, even if today isn't my turn. Solo this time. Hopefully Red Hood and Red Robin being separate out there will help the rumors die down a bit.”
No one has a better idea - Tim’s least favorite sentence - so that’s what they do. 
 It’s another infuriatingly quiet night.
Red Robin stops a couple of muggings, scares the crap out of some drug dealers. At some point, he considers contacting Poison Ivy and asking if she has any corrupt CEO she wants help with. He could, you know. It’d stop Ivy from killing someone and on his last run with Harley Quinn she did let slip that Tim was Ivy’s favorite Robin. 
He almost falls mid swing at the memory, thinking he might be onto something, but then he remembers Harley hadn’t particularly recognized Red Robin as the third Robin. She was just ranting about how the new tiny Robin had no sense of humor and Ivy missed the last one. Besides of course Harley Quinn wasn’t feeding Vicki Vale some BatFanfic. Tim’s brain must be really burnt out if that’s the best hot take it can come up with. 
It’s almost 3am and he’s taking a pair of muggers that can’t be much older than Tim to the police. He’s about ready to call if a night when someone shouts:
“Red Robin!” 
He looks on instinct and his stomach drops when he sees Vicki Vale running towards him.  Crap.
“Red Robin, can I get a statement?”
He keeps walking. He’s just one dirty alley away from GCPD, otherwise he’d just tie the stupid muggers to his back and would use his grappling hook to get out of the situation, grapple safety be damned. The muggers gingerly attempt to hide their faces as the reporter runs to them swinging a digital recorder. Vicki acts as though she can’t see them.
“Red Robin, what do you have to say about the rumors of your relationship with the Red Hood?”
The rumors you created?  Red Robin quickens his pace and the muggers trip over themselves. He stares straight ahead, pretending he doesn’t notice the woman basically running in heels to keep up with him. 
“Are you ashamed of it? Is it because he’s a criminal or because he’s a man?”
Red Robin wonders if the muggers would walk the rest of the way and turn themselves in if he asked nicely.
“Don’t bother, lady,” one of the muggers says. “He’s a nasty bigot.”
The other mugger  nods and the two of them are wearing matching pouty expressions. Now Tim just feels bad. He didn’t become a hero for the recognition and he’s not in the business of doing PSAs like Superman, but he doesn’t want the strange socially woke criminal youth of Gotham to think they’re being arrested by a homophobe.
“I have no problem with two men in a relationship, I’m bisexual,” he tells the muggers. “Still, I’m not dating Red Hood. Just because I’m bi it doesn’t mean I’m dating every male vigilante I run into.”
At that, the two crooks look mildly surprised and suddenly they seem to feel a bit better about being arrested. Would you look at that. 
Red Robin delivers them to the police, painfully aware that Vicki Vale is nowhere to be found anymore. He feels like he’s going to pay dearly for being too prideful to let himself be mistaken for a heterosexual person. 
 Lo and behold, Twitter, on that very same morning.
@Gotham_Gazette:
Red Robin hints that he might be bisexual. “No, I’m not dating the Red Hood, just because I’m bi it doesn’t mean I’m dating every male vigilante,” said the hero on the rumors about his relationship.
        @dgraysonman hints??? he literally said he’s bi smh
        @stephssss wow only the male vigilantes? biphobic. let red robin date batgirl too
        @babsgeez be gay do crime, be bi serve justice
        @thomascommaduke no cops at pride, only Red Robin using a bi flag as cape.
“Timmy…” Jason starts.
“Don’t. Just leave me alone to die.”
“That’s fair, have a nice day.”
 At this point, Tim is surprised Bruce hasn’t intervened. As unaware of social media as Bruce can be, he’s always on the look for anything that might compromise their secret identities. Tim pulls two all-nighters in a row doing detective work and still makes no progress on his search for the person that sent Vicki that picture and overheard his conversation with Krystal. He fully expects Batman to jump him on his next patrol and give him a lecture.
When he comments that to Jason, he gets a confused look in response.
“You didn’t get a lecture? Bruce was the one that told me first. I had to hear about being careless for 20 minutes before I got home and could take off my comm.”
Tim frowns in confusion. Bruce had talked to him once or twice after the news got out and he didn’t comment anything on it. 
“That’s Batman’s psychological profiling,” someone suggests. 
Tim almost jumps out of his skin when Steph casually walks into the living room with a bowl of chips. 
“What are you doing here? And are those my clothes?”
Steph shrugs in the sweater that clearly doesn’t belong to her. “Jason and I are doing movie night.”
“Movie night,” Jason mocks. “She’s been here for the past two days. Did you seriously not notice, Tim?”
Tim’s jaw drops. 
Steph sighs and her expression turns guilty. “Fine. My mom is out of town for the week and Jason is a better cook than I am. Is it a crime to bum off your ex-boyfriend and his bizarrely talented in the kitchen brother?”
Before Tim can say anything, Jason interrupts: “What were you saying about Batman, Steph?”
She heads to the couch and starts looking for the remote, her feet propped on the coffee table. “B knows Jay will just shrug it off and deal with the consequences, hence the need of a lecture. If he annoys Jason, he’ll stop and reflect on it, even if out of rage. He knows Tim’s already overthinking and working his butt off to fix it, so he doesn’t want to add any pressure.”
Both Jason and Tim stand in dumbfounded silence.  Since when does Steph know Bruce so well?
She raises her gaze when the quietness stretches and quirks an eyebrow at them. “What? Am I wrong?”
“Hm. No. That’s pretty much what we’ve been doing,” Jason admits, if a big begrudgingly. “That’s annoying though.”
Steph simply makes a dismissive gesture and pats the sit beside her. “Tim, you need a break. Wanna join us?”
Tim hesitates. On one hand, the fact that Bruce trusts him that much is a tad touching… and knowing it makes him feel he has to solve this as soon as possible. On another… it’s kind of annoying that Bruce knows him so well and yet doesn’t think about offering any assistance. Tim is not stubborn enough to refuse a helping hand when he’s on a pinch.
“You’re not going to solve anything if you’re hallucinating from sleep deprivation, Timbers,” Jason points. “Besides we’re watching Avatar.”
“Fine,” Tim says.
If for nothing else, just to prove to Bruce that he’s  not an overworker and he can slack off in the absence of a parental figure.
Tim falls asleep in the middle of the second episode. Steph and Jason vow to take him to bed once they’re sure he’s completely out, but they only last until the end of the first season. The three sleep soundly on the couch for good eight hours and regret dearly when they wake up with necks too sore to fight crime for at least a day.
 Consequences. They always come.
Almost a week goes by in which the rumors are but an annoyance to Jason and a source of stress to Tim - but almost anything can stress Tim if he tries hard enough, so that’s not saying anything. Jason is still staying at Tim’s, but he’s considering going back to his own place when they go for three days with no new article and nothing unusual has happened. 
Until it does. 
It’ a rainy night Tim is going over reports for the next WE meeting when he hears a noise coming from the balcony. His stomach gives a familiar twist when he recognizes Batgirl hunched over the weight of one Red Hood. 
He rushes to her aid, already feeling nauseous. There’s no blood in sight but whatever happened must be serious if Jason is willing to let Batgirl give him a piggyback ride. Tim lets them drip water all over the floor and, in his panic, has half a mind to appreciate that Batgirl’s boots have enough traction that she doesn’t slip.
“What on Earth…”
“The most ridiculous thing,” Steph bables as she and Tim drag a very dizzy Jason to the couch. She then starts ranting so fast Bart Allen would be proud. “He was doing his thing as usual, but some of his people turned on him and there was an ambush and so many flipping people against one poor Hood and good god that guy shot his helmet at point-blank which,  damn , that was so stupid, of course the freaking helmet is bullet proof, it just ricocheted and…”
“Steph, calm down,” Tim interrupts. “Jason, can you report?”
When he gingerly attempts to take off his helmet, Steph takes over and undoes the safety measures before carefully removing it. There is a dent on the back part where he had been presumably shot. 
“Hm,” Jason grunts, squinting even behind his domino mask. “Ambush. Shot. Concussion. Very concussion. Ankle hurts? Prolly not broken, tho. Also stabbed?”
Tim nods. “Steph, get the medical supplies. Where’s the stab wound, Jay?”
Jason points to his thigh and there is an improvised bandage keeping him from losing too much blood. Considering how well done it is, Tim figures it’s Steph’s work. He nods and starts checking his brother’s vitals and making sure there aren’t other serious wounds.
When she comes back with the supplies Tim needs, Steph has her cowl down and a somber expression. She turns off the lights for Jason’s sake, the only source of light left on being the lamp near where Tim is already ripping off a piece of Jason’s pants to have better access to his wound. Steph sits by Jason’s side and grabs his hand, much to Tim’s surprise. He’s too busy taking care of the stab wound to ask, but he doesn’t have to. Steph breaks the silence:
“I’m so sorry, Jason.”
Jason gives her a confused look. “You saved my ass?”
“Yes, but…” Steph sighs and turns to Tim. “Babs is with the Birds of Prey tonight, so I was on my own. I was messing around with my comm frequency when I accidentally got into Jason’s. I heard the mess and it sounded like he was in trouble so I panicked. I went to get him and… Well, if there was any doubt that he’s working with the Bats, there isn’t now. It was too obvious that I was protecting him.”
Jason squeezes her hand. “Hm. Pigs.”
“Right. Then the police arrived and instead of leaving right away I stopped to make sure Jason wasn’t bleeding to death. More than a few cops saw me patching him up.”
Tim sighs. Well, shit. 
“It’s not your fault, Steph,” Tim says. “I mean… he literally wears a bat on his chest. People were bound to find out it isn’t just to stick it to Batman.”
“Is too,” Jason mumbles.
Tim ignores him. “The situation isn’t ideal, but we all prefer people knowing Red Hood is associated with the Bats than him being dead.”
“I died before.”
“We know, Jay.”
“Do not recommend.”
“We know, Jay.”
Steph fidgets a bit, still looking guilty, but ultimately nods. Tim is about to start stitching Jason’s wound closed when she says: “There’s more. You, hm, you know Renee Montoya?”
“The one valid pig,” Jason says. “I like her.”
“She was there. She helped a ton keep the other cops away from us before we could escape,” Steph says. “I think she wanted to check on Jason and…”
Tim stops moving. He knows Montoya, worked with her before and she’s a nice woman. That being said, she doesn’t have any connections to Hood. Why would she… Oh. The gay rumors. Damn wlw/mlm solidarity.
“What happened?” Tim asks, already fearing the worst.
“Hmmm, we’ll tell you, but I’m concussed, so you have to promise you won’t be mad.”
“Jason.”
Jason sighs. “Well. She asked about our relationship and… Hm. I might have told her we’re brothers.”
Tim stares at them. Steph is cringing and Jason is too out of it to care. At this point… Tim starts laughing, making the other two - even the concussed one - frown in worry.
“Aw, man,” Tim says between chuckles.  “What the fuck, am I right? I’m too old for this. Who cares? Not me! Fuck it. Fuckety fuck fucky-fuck.”
“I think we broke him,” Steph whispers even as Tim resumes stitching his brother.
They went from not-sure-if-real to a freaking cop knowing about their family in the span of a week. Tomorrow #TimDrakeIsRedRobin could be trending on Twitter and Tim wouldn’t care. Not anymore. Let them come.Literally everyone in his friend circle is a vigilante, a hero or a criminal at this point, he doesn’t even care about endangering anyone.
 It takes actually two days for it to hit the news. He’s alone in his office when Tam texts him a link to Gotham Gazette online. Judging by the lack of other words, Tim figures she’s cutting ties with him again.  
The newest article has no actual pictures, but a sketch of Red Hood standing with his guns pointed at the viewer and Red Robin standing behind him, his face only partially turned. The thing looks more like superhero fanart than an official sketch, but that never stopped Vicki Vale before.
 VIGILANTE FAMILY? by Vicki Vale
Red Robin, one of Gotham’s many masked vigilantes, was cause of intrigue recently. Many  people noticed the hero doing his work around Red Hood’s territory, something not even Batman dares on the regular. Speculation turned into a craze of theories when both red-themed vigilantes were caught sitting on a roof sharing a meal from Batburger and many thought perhaps there was more than your regular vigilante team up. 
Turns out the hero and the mob boss aren’t lovers, against popular belief. When questioned about the nature of their relationship, Red Hood snapped and confirmed one of the less popular theories: the two men are, in fact, related. “Red is right and he should say it,” said Red Hood to a bewildered policewoman. “Of course he’d say it’s [REDACTED] gross, he’s my little brother.” When asked about the conversation overheard by our reporter, the policewoman in question refused to give any more details and requested to remain anonymous.
It’s hard to be sure how such development came to be. The Red Hood has been active in Gotham for years as a mob boss and, more recently, a vigilante and ally to Gotham’s bats. While Red Robin is a newer vigilante, could it be that he was trained by the Red Hood? And how do the two brothers fit with Gotham’s oldest vigilantes? Unlike his older counterpart, Red Robin has been often spotted working side-by-side with the likes of Batgirl and Robin, making some question whether Red Robin is distancing himself from his criminal brother. However, sources spotted Hood being aided by Batgirl more recently. Could it be that his former sidekick is bringing Red Hood closer to the side of justice? More on the Red Twins as the story develops.
 THE BIRDNEST
spoiler alert: RED TWINS
WonderWing: R E D  T W I N S
send me a Signal: ~ * R E D T W I N S * ~
in the hood: uhhhh my bad?
yumm: dis is great
yumm: now im hoods stranged sidekick
yumm: i fucking hate u jason.
in the hood: hey, if you didn't want to be my sidekick you should've picked another color
yumm: screw u u dont own the color red
in the hood: I was born first
yumm: u died first 2
WonderWing: Tim!
spoiler alert: oof 
send me a Signal: wow Tim that was too far
in the hood: I’ve never been prouder to be your brother I taught you so well Timmy
send me a Signal: … I stand corrected. I sometimes forget everyone in this family is clinically insane
 “Hey Tim. There is discourse about you and Jason now.”
Tim lets out a whimper. 
“So apparently some people still ship you two. But those people are being cancelled because shipping incest is problematic.”
“Steph, are you planning on going home? I noticed you took one of my drawers.”
“There’s fanart of you two.”
“I don’t want to see it. That'll scar me for life."
“I’m DMing it to you. By the way there is civilian Red Robin fanart and for some reason they made you blonde.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know, I guess it’s more fun to ship people with different hair colors. Should we dye your hair?”
“Why.”
“That way when you finally hook up with Co-”
“Finish that sentence and I kick you out of this apartment for good.”
 With the cat out of the bag, they start doing different damage control. 
Red Hood is now openly working with the Bats, so Steph and Cass dismantle Hood’s former safehouses around Gotham which mostly means getting Jason’s books and bringing them to Tim’s place. Jason suggests the places should be converted into something useful for the neighborhood, such as libraries or a community center of sorts, so Tim starts working on what needs to be done by WE to make that reality. Tim also makes sure Bruce pretends not to know Jason is using a lot of money illegally acquired to getting himself new hideouts.
They dance around the topic a lot and nothing is really said until Steph brings it up. Steph, whose mother returned days ago. Steph, that definitely doesn’t want Jason to leave, because apparently she suddenly has a new favorite ex-Robin. Steph, that is currently eating homemade waffles in Tim’s kitchen, even though Tim is 83% sure she didn’t sleep over last night.
“Why doesn’t Jason just moves in?” she asks.
When neither boy replies immediately, she continues:
“I mean, it’s more practical, isn’t it? Tim’s place is already secure, he has a hero hideout downstairs and you two already work together all the damn time. Tim’s office can be converted into a room for Jason, because, let’s face it, I spend most of my free time here and Tim never uses it. I once saw him take his laptop with him to the bathroom and then return to the kitchen table instead of using the office. We wouldn’t even have to take the shelves, because Jason would fill them.”
They exchange a look. 
“You know, she’s right,” Tim says. He shrugs like it’s no big deal, really.
He isn’t nervous at all while Jason stands there, his expression unreadable. It’s not like he enjoys way too much having his brother around and got way too comfortable with having a roommate and a half (if you count Steph) on the past weeks. Tim doesn’t care, he’s cool like that.
“I mean. I guess having you as a roommate beats living alone,” Jason finally says.
Tim fails to hide his grin. “We can start working in turning the office into a room this weekend.”
Jason smiles back and messes his hair. 
Tim’s first theory is that Steph wants Jason off the couch so she has an official place to sleep, because apparently Jason’s cooking is that good.
His second theory is that she noticed how happy Tim is to finally share a house with family. The Wayne Manor had been home for a while, sure, but despite Alfred’s best efforts the place wasn’t the coziest. It wasn’t the same as sharing an apartment with a brother, bickering about sharing chores and openly discussing their night jobs before shifting the conversation to a video game they want to buy. Sharing actual meals and making sure one another wouldn’t end up dead in a ditch.
Tim decides to stick with his first theory, after all it’s easier for Steph to make Red Twins jokes if Jason and Tim are under the same roof. 
 Even without new gossip, the idea of vigilante brothers is too interesting for the general public to let go. Tim and Jason start acting mostly in the shadows and having no interaction with civilians at all and they’re still the topic of Gotham’s variety shows and online discussions from time to time.
Because they don’t slip again, Bruce has yet to bring up the subject with Tim, but the mystery remains. Who listened to all those conversations and how? Tim keeps expecting the other shoe to drop, to get a message demanding ransom for their secret identities, something,  anything , but nothing happens. Nothing freaking happens and he’s never been this frustrated.
That is, until, it happens. The ultimate betrayal. 
Dick’s next visit coincides with the time Cass is over for the week. Because Bruce is secretly a sap in the wrongest way, he suggests they all go patrolling together. Such great family time. 
Despite their initial protests, they must all be the same kind of freak, because they all agree. They split up soon to cover more ground, but keep their comms on so it still feels they’re all in a big menacing group. 
Red Robin is somewhere near the crime alley when Nightwing announces he noticed some of Two Face’s goons getting into a building. He checks his wrist pad for their locations and notices Nightwing isn’t that far from where he is. The next closest person is Red Hood.
“I’ll take care of it,” Nightwing says over the comms.
“Negative. Two Face himself might be there,” Batman intervenes. “Wait for backup. The Red Twins--” And he stops himself as though realizing what he’s saying.
“Batman!?” Red Robin gasps in a betrayed voice. 
Nightwing is already having a laughter fit over the comms almost drowning the sound of Bruce’s disappointed sigh.
“I’m sorry, Red,” his father says and he even forgets to use Batman’s scary voice. “Nightwing and Batgirl have been saying it so much that-”
“Save it,” Hood groans. “And stop laughing, Jerkwing!”
The worst part is knowing that, even if he solves the mystery, the Red Twins thing is probably going to follow him to his untimely death. 
 Tim all but lost hope when he gets an email from Barbara. “To my favorite Red Twin” says the subject. He groans, but opens the email, because one does not simply ignore a message from Oracle. Then he almost drops his phone. 
Attached there is a grainy picture of a young woman talking to Vicki Vale. The image had certainly been enhanced digitally as it’s probably from a shitty security camera, but you can still see the woman’s face clear as day. She looks like she’s handing Vicki something, her shoulders tense and her expression wary. The body of the message is, most likely, the woman’s personal info. Her name is Lisa Harris. She is 27 years old. She lives somewhat close to Jason’s territory. And, most importantly, Babs added to the end of the message:
The picture is from the night before the Red Twins article ;) Vicki didn’t talk to anyone other than her coworkers and our pal Lisa on that night.
Jason comes out of his room when Tim trips on the coffee table in his hurry to stand. “What’s up?”
Tim hands him the phone. Jason’s eyes grow wide. “I don’t care about subtlety. We’re both going after this chick.”
“Agreed.”
“Should we wait for Steph? She’s gonna be mad that we went when she’s in class.”
“Jason, Steph doesn’t live here.”
“Doesn’t she, though?”
“We’re not waiting for Steph. She’s not involved.”
“Aight, but when she’s bitching I’m gonna say I remembered her and you said no.”
 They leave their bikes behind first for stealth sake, but mostly because the place they’re going isn’t that far from their place. Tim shivers at the thought of someone so dangerous living near him. He wonders what kind of information Lisa might have gathered and for how long she’d been watching them. Is she a new enemy? Perhaps a member of the league?
The shitty building she lives in doesn’t suggest that. It’s just another grimy Gotham apartment complex that didn’t age well. The place they’re looking for doesn’t have a balcony, only a useless fire escape so rusty it would probably crumble under any sign of flames. It’s a perfect hiding spot, because nothing suggests a villain lives there. It’s just a building, home to many underpaid bachelors, nothing too suspicious about it.
Red Robin reminds Hood of that before they nod to each other and split. Jason goes into the building with a ton of confidence, for such a big guy trying to go unnoticed. Tim uses his grapple to reach the right window, not trusting that fire escape for even a second. 
The window is open and he finds himself looking at a place not that different from the one Jason lived before moving in with Tim. Mismatched furniture of the living suggests whoever lives there didn’t have money for fancy decor or that they don’t mind how the place looks. However, something about the place looks… well, lived in. It doesn’t look like a criminal temporary hideout, but rather someone’s place.
As he hesitates, a woman walks in. The woman of the picture, Lisa Harris. Her long blonde hair had been tied in a knot on top of her head and she’s getting ready for bed, if her oversized T-shirt and pajama pants say anything. She’s holding a bowl of cereal.
She reminds him of Steph and that causes him to hesitate for a second. What if this girl is innocent? Their evidence is circumstantial. Maybe she just happened to talk to Vicki Vale at the wrong time.
That hesitation costs him dearly. The woman appears to feel his eyes burning the back of her head. She glances at the window and their gazes meet.
Crap. 
Lisa inhales sharply and drops her cereal bowl. Before he can reassure her of anything, she’s bolting for the door. He pats himself in the back for his backup plan, because just as she opens the door she runs right into Red Hood’s chest. Lisa stumbles backwards, her expression horrified.
“Knock knock?” Hood quips.
She lets out a squeak and guilt makes Tim wince. Once again he opens his mouth to tell her they’re not here to hurt her when she… vanishes. 
She simply disappears right in front of their eyes.
“Shit, she’s a meta,” Hood hisses. 
Red Robin’s thoughts fly a thousand miles per hour, finally making the conexions he stupidly missed for so long. Of  freaking course.  He was so used to dealing with a bunch of idiots in colorful costumes and assassins and whatnot he hadn’t taken in consideration that ninjas aren’t the only exceptional enemies they face. And if his theory is correct. 
“She’s still here,” he says. “If I’m right, she can turn invisible. That’s how she’s been listening to private conversations.”
A soft gasp follows his statement and Hood is moving almost as fast as Red Robin’s insights. An invisible woman is still solid and her clumsy footsteps are still audible, so on the moment that follows Jason seems to embrace air. 
“No!” She cries out, flashing in and out of sight for a few seconds.
“Careful,” Red Robin warns.
Hood is wearing his helmet, but Tim knows him well enough to know his brother is glaring at him as if saying  duh?  
Lisa tries to stomp on Hood’s feet, she squirms and grunts, but he doesn't budge. Apparently invisibility is her only power and she looks terrified.
“It’s okay!” Red Robin hurries to say. “We’re not going to hurt you!”
She turns her frantic gaze to him. Her brown eyes suddenly become watery. 
Shit.
“Hood, let her go,” Red Robin says. 
“Seriously?”
“Yes. You’re not going to try to escape again, are you, Lisa? We just want to ask a few questions.”
He wishes they had waited for Steph.
Lisa hesitates, paralysed, but slowly nods. Her eyes never leave Red Robin once their gazes met, not even to check whether Hood is going to let her go or not.
“Hood,” he calls again. 
Groaning something about being too trusting, Jason lets her go. He is gentle about it, too, making sure to let her feet touch the floor carefully instead of simply dropping her. Regardless, as soon as she’s left to stand on her own legs, her knees give in and she drops on the floor. At that, Tim can tell even Jason is hiding guilt behind his helmet.
He shakes his head to regain focus and crouches in front of the woman. If at this point they just apologize and leave, they’ll have traumatizes this poor woman for nothing.
“Lisa Harris,” he starts. “That’s your name, right?”
She trembles when he says her name and that should have been the first red flag. He blames it on the stressful situation and moves on.
“I’m sorry for startling you,” he says. He keeps his expression empty, even if he again can tell Jason is cringing at the understatement. “No one here is going to hurt you. We just want some answers. Is that alright?”
Her hands are balled tightly on her lap as though she’s making a lot of effort not to move them - perhaps to punch them, defend herself? But again she doesn’t look prone to start a fight.
“You’re him,” she whispers, her voice heavy with… something. It almost sounds like affection. “You’re really the Red Robin. In my room.”
That  red flag is harder to ignore. He is about to check for other shock symptoms when Hood calls.
“Hmm… Red? Are you seeing that?”
He follows his brother’s gaze… and his chin drops. On the wall opposite to the door hangs a giant corkboard. On the corkboard, held by black and red tacks there are dozens of Red Robin pictures. Some blurry, some taken from so far that you can barely be sure it’s really Red Robin or not, the infamous picture of the thumb war (demon horns had been disturbingly scribbled on Jason on that one) and… He doesn’t have words. 
“You’re my hero!” Lisa claims.
“Is he? I couldn’t tell,” Hood says.
Red Robin punches his knee, which is all he can reach from where he is, and turns his attention to the woman in front of him.
“Lisa, for how long have you been following me?”
“Since you saved me,” she says. “Well… Hm. You didn’t save me. But you stopped a heist at the Central Bank a couple of months ago and I was there. I could've died without you.”
Aw, crap on a stick.
“Do you… do you know who I am?”
“You’re Red Robin,” she repeats.
“He’s asking about his identity behind the mask.”
The way she glares at Jason doesn’t suggest she had been shaking in fear moments ago. “He’s Red Robin,” she insists. “I don’t need anything else.”
“If you don’t know… how do you have so many…” Hood gestures vaguely at her creepy corkboard.
“I did detective work,” she says and glances at Red Robin as if expecting a pat on the back. “I noticed you always go on patrol on mondays, wednesdays, fridays and saturdays. Then if I wandered around long enough… It was just a matter of hard work and bit of luck, really.”
Damn. Now that Tim thinks about it, the one time he went on patrol spontaneously was also the night Vicki Vale found him by coincidence rather than magically knowing what happened. 
“Fuuuuck,” Hood groans. “I told B patrol schedule was a dumb idea!” Then, in a deep growly voice, “ It’s a matter of efficiency Hood, don’t be paranoid. Who’s paranoid now, Batloser?”
“Not the time, Hood.”
“Right. Proceed.”
Red Robin sighs. “Why did you sell my pictures to Vicki Vale?”
At that, Lisa looks suddenly ashamed. “I.. I’m sorry. I thought… I thought you were  involved  with  him  and I panicked. I thought… I thought seeing what it would do to your reputation would make you see that he’s not good enough for you.”
“Rude.”
“Hood.”
“What? She is.”
“I was trying to learn more about him, you know? I was. When I found out he was your brother, I realized you had no option, right? Family is family. I even told the news again to clean your record.”
So he had a stalker. A stalker concerned about his love life, no less, that’s… great. Just great. Of all the scenarios he considered they’d have to face, this is not one of them. Before he decides what to do, however, Lisa speaks up again. 
“You sound so… nice.”
Tim stares at her in confusion, unsure whether to thank her or not. Regardless, she didn’t sound like she was complimenting him.
“I mean… aren’t I supposed to be?”
“No! I mean… you’re… you’re dark and brooding and serious and you don’t waste time with civilians unless forced…” She frowns and Tim figures she’s thinking about the night with the strippers. “You’re… the night.”
Jason snorts. Tim punches his knee again. “Lisa, I’m pretty sure you’re thinking of Batman, not me.”
Her expression twists in such fury both vigilantes prepare to restrain her, but instead of directing her anger at them, Lisa scoffs.
“Don’t  get me started on Batman! All that crap about being mysterious and working alone? Then he joins the freaking Justice League? Just… Batman, in the middle of a bunch of rainbow wearing clowns. And then… all those freaking kids. Why does he have so many kids?”
“Lady, we ask ourselves that everyday,” Tim admits.
Lisa is wearing the same expression Krystal had when Red Robin denied his relationship with Hood.
“I’m sorry, Lisa, I’m grateful that you admire me, but you can’t keep following me like this.”
Her eyes teary again, Lisa swallows dry. “Clearly, if you’re  sorry  about it.”
They can’t exactly take her to Arkham for taking pictures. Tim feels less bad about the whole thing when the woman stands and starts telling them in a  very loud voice  to get the hell out of her house.
“Fine,” Jason says, heading to the corkboard. “But I’m taking this.”
“Take it,” she shouts. “I don’t need it anymore. You’re  just like Batman!”
And that’s how Red Hood and Red Robin find themselves standing in the middle of a dusty hallway, Hood with a conspiracy board under his arm. 
Well, that happened. 
 In the end, Steph  was  furious about them going to the stalker’s house by themselves, but there was not a lot she could do except doodle on every picture of the stalker board. 
There must be something very wrong with their sense of humor, because their text group becomes a mess of jokes about the stalker Robin being stalked. At that Tim has no problem exercising Jason’s lessons in holding grudges and refuses to help them with any of their cases unless they stop it. The thing is that all of them find the whole thing hilarious.
All of them except Duke.
“Give it a while,” Tim tells him. “You’re the most recent acquisition to the family. In due time your idea of funny will be just as warped as ours.”
“Hm. When was the last time you slept, Timmy?” Duke asks.
“Tuesday.”
“Today is Tuesday.”
“Hahahaha yeah.”
“... Jaaaaasooon! Come over here! Tim is going into The Ring territory! Do something about it!”
Bruce doesn’t find it funny either. He isn’t happy that there’s a deranged meta he didn’t know about, but Tim thinks that was the least surprising part of the whole ordeal. He reckons a lot of metas doesn’t want to be a hero or a villain, they’re just regular people that live regular lives and happened to win in the metagene lottery. 
Or… well. In Lisa’s case, not so regular.
And that’s why upon hearing the story for the first time, Bruce  completely freaks out. He starts considering possibilities from scaring the woman as Batman - “That’s a terrible idea, dad, you heard she likes that shit,” says Dick over facetime - or having her arrested - “Father, having bad taste in men is hardly a crime. She has yet to do anything to harm Timothy” Damian helpfully reminds him - and finally to fill out a restraining order - “For who, Karen?” Jason snaps. “Red Robin? Or you want to walk into that nut job and tell her she’s not allowed near Tim Drake-Wayne?”
Long story short, it’s chaos. Tim has had enough of a crazy night, so he sits back near the training area of the cave and sips the tea Alfred made him. Bruce is doing Tim’s stressed out circuit, pacing back and forth around the cave while his children follow him - Damian is holding the phone higher than his head so Dick can talk to Bruce at eye level - and they try to talk him out of doing anything stupid.
Most of them, anyway. It looks like Duke is definitely looking into the possibility of a restraining order.
Cass detaches herself from the mess and heads towards Tim. She looks calm, as Cass always does, and some of that calm transfers to him. When she takes a seat by his side, he smiles at her.
“Okay?” she asks. 
Tim shrugs. “Weirded out, mostly. I’ll be fine.”
She points at her then signs Tim’s house as a question. She’s asking him if he wants her to come over.
While Cass is one hell of a bodyguard, Tim thinks of Steph, who’s most definitely playing with his video games back at home, and of Jason, whose schedule mostly matches Tim’s, hence he is, more often than not, at one shout of distance. Tim can’t think of any place that feels safer than his home right now.
“I’m fine. Jay and Steph are taking care of me. I’ll just have to be twice as careful during patrol,” he says.
Cass nods, satisfied. She gives him a forehead kiss and leans against his side. The two of them watch their family yell at each other for the next ten minutes, matching serene smiles on their faces.
 Bruce settles for keeping Lisa under occasional watch. 
Barbara stalks her online and finds that Lisa has left a Red Robin fanclub (Tim did not know those existed) and closed all of her threads on the Red Robin subreddit (Tim knew about those, but kept his distance), making it seem that learning that Red Robin is just a polite-ish kid really killed her love. 
Bruce says he’ll keep tabs on her because he know she’s a meta, it’s not like he’s being overprotective, he totally knows Tim can take care of himself, really. 
Other than that, Bruce is way too happy about Jason’s new living arrangement. He even  almost smiles. 
 Tim… is fine. The whole thing is creepy, for sure, but he finds out that his siblings making so many jokes about it makes it easier to handle. Yay for their unhealthy coping mechanisms. 
He doesn’t think he will ever be okay with media, though. It’s annoying enough that he has to deal with reporters as Tim Drake-Wayne, he definitely doesn’t need the attention as Red Robin. 
Luckily for him, his siblings help him with that too. One time he’s wrapping a gang bust with Nightwing when a reporter comes running towards them, begging for a few answers. Red Robin cringes inwardly realizing there are no close buildings to use his grapple, but before he can say anything, Nightwing squeezes his shoulder. 
“Go, Timmy. I’ve got this.”
Tim smile. “Thanks, Dick.”
And he leaves the silent and swift way only a Bat can do. 
 Things are great. As great as they can be in Gotham, at least. Tim wakes up at 9am - an early time for a vigilante, but he got at least 5 hours of sleep, so that’s something - and heads to the kitchen. He finds Steph (who still swears she doesn’t live with them) and Jason bickering over pancakes they’re making. Smiling to himself, Tim mumbles a good morning and starts washing the dirty dishes from last night.
The peaceful morning is interrupted by Steph’s phone buzzing. She use a paper towel to clean her hands before checking it and…
“Uh… Timbers?” she calls.
He freezes, the pan he’s washing suddenly forgotten. “What now?”
Steph is trembling with contained laughter when she hands him the phone. Duke just sent her a link to a news article. Tim clicks and finds himself staring at the headline RIVALRY BETWEEN HEROES? followed by a clear picture of Nightwing and a blurry shot of Red Robin.
The article follows:
After dealing with an infamous gang of contrabandists that operated near Gotham’s harbor, Nightwing and Red Robin went their separate ways without much courtesy. Despite the short collab, it appears that Red Robin didn’t appreciate Nighwing’s help, his farewell words being a sarcastic “thanks” followed by calling Bludhaven’s hero a “dick”.
Tim raises his eyes to the other two. Steph is hiding her face into the crook of Jason’s neck, her shoulders still trembling a bit. Having read the article over Steph’s shoulder, Jason is biting his lip.
Tim deadpans: “This is the funniest shit that ever happened to me.”
The three of them explode in laughter and they cackle for a good minute, until the three of them are breathless and their cheeks hurt.
“I-I want to print that and frame it,” Steph manages between giggles. “Let’s hang it on the living room.”
“Good… ahaha… Good work, Timbers,” Jason says, smiling wide. “For that, you can have extra pancakes.”
Tim is still grinning when he goes back to his dish duty. Maybe being under the media attention isn't so bad after all.
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marriedmormon · 5 years ago
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Ashley
Posted May 2020 Quarantined still and no end in sight to return to normalcy. Still a lot of people in the house, which means no privacy or alone time. No chance to break away for any fun. Which brings me to a quick story about Ashley.  *Spoiler Alert* I have never seen Ashley in person. She has seen me. We met digitally in 2013 after she saw me while I was attending my siblings church and recognized me from an old group forum I was on. It had been at least 2 years and I honestly thought every woman on the forum was just a trolling horny dude cat-fishing guys for pics. It was weird when I got a notification from the group that was relatively extinct. I checked my message from her and immediately thought she was a catfish. I was twice her age and still not certain that she wasn’t a catfish. I also was concerned it might be an underage sting operation so I was very, very careful with what I asked and what she could prove. After some very creative requests that could not be created in Photoshop or quick internet searches. I determined that she was in fact who she said she was. AND Ashley was certainly no dude! 
Ashley was 19 years old, a college student, smoking hot, little Mormon nympho that was into me.  She had been sexually active for a few years and when she got to college she just turned up her volume. For a few years she only had oral and anal sex so she would remain a virgin but that all changed right before we started talking. We got to know each other through Snapchat. Chatting, sexting, sending pics, sending vids, totally having fun with this digital affair. Many times she requested my married dick buried deep in her pussy, which only made me push harder to meet in person. She was going to school out of state which made my request difficult to accomplish but I was still optimistic. A few times when she was in town we had a chance, but I was never able to come up with an excuse to leave my wife at the time. I wasn’t the only one blue balled so to speak. She would send me pics or little vids of what I was missing… and yes I was missing a lot. 
We have had a ton of digital sex. I have a whole library of pics and vids of her and she probably has the same of me. We tell each other everything. Most things I have never shared with anyone else but her.
Ashley is now 26 and still lives out of the state but is still a very close friend. We never did meet up and we still have digital fun every now and then. Mainly we just swap stories and pics. It is crazy that it has been over 7 years and we still talk. She is just the female version of me. Minus the married part. She cheats around like I do, but she just hasn’t tied the knot. Because of this connection I think we will remain friends for a long time.  I do not have permission from Ashley to share any of her pics, but you can check out a nice doppelganger of her on my Flickr account at this link. https://www.flickr.com/photos/123073719@N03/44173904920/in/album-72157703553109144/
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taetaesbaebaepsae · 6 years ago
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BTS as FWB
Hyung Line
My sister and I were talking about this yesterday so I thought I'd do a post about how bts would handle being a fwb (spoiler alert they all catch feelings eventually)
**Also I take requests for BTS and maybe Monsta X so hmu in my asks, fam**
Hyung Line (Maknae Line coming up bc this got Loooong)
Warnings: smut, angst, fluff, alcohol tw
Word Count: 1,779
Namjoon (RM)
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If it was your idea, he would be so down like "yeah of course who needs relationships?" but low-key he wanted to confess to you 5 seconds before you suggested an arrangement
Puts that mouth to WORK
Likes it a little rough but nothing that would leave bruises or hickeys that's for amateurs
He has a downright filthy mouth this boy will have you clutching your pearls with the nasty shit he'll say (you love it)
Late night convos, this boy will text you at 3am not for a booty call but just to talk to you
He's more of an emotional booty call than just sexual, he'll come to you when he's stressed or upset
Don't get me wrong, he'll fuck your brains out but expect lots of pillow talk, especially if he's been drinking
Takes you out for coffee, will buy you breakfast, insists to his friends he isn't dating you since he doesn't take you out at night
You're the only one he's fucking, though he flirts a lot
If he runs into you at a club and you're dancing with someone else, God help you
He won't be mean just stupid charming, doing his best to lure you away for a night of crazy sex
If it doesn't work though, he'll be high key salty, pouty, whiny
You'll get texts until daylight because he'll keep drinking, imagining you with someone else
He might show up at your door at 6am, shitfaced, honestly
"Did you bring that clown home? No, I'm not jealous, I just wanted to talk to you."
You're weak so you let him in and he spends all day at your place recovering from his hangover
He will only admit he's caught feelings if you do first or if he thinks you're getting serious with someone else
If you go on dates he'll pick a fight with you about nothing and when you're yelling at him he'll just kiss you senseless.
"I love you, ok?"
You start dating him before you even know what's happening the smartass manipulative little shit
Jin
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The biggest fuckboi of the group don't @me
He's a pro at this
After he got cheated on all his relationships are fwb arrangements and they always catch feelings first
Not you, though, you know he's a fuckboi and you know what you're in for
This boy will make you laugh during sex he's never serious he'll make you come while you're giggling over some stupid shit he said
Sexts, sexts, sexts
He will never stop dirty texting you while you're in an inappropriate place like work or dinner with your family
God forbid you tell him you're going on a date, then dick pics and sexts galore
He's not jealous, he's territorial, he wants to be the best you've ever had (he is but you would die before you'd admit that)
This boy is not even a little exclusive with you, at least not at first
He'd invite you over to meet his friends and be shook at how well you fit in
You start playing video games with Jungkook and when Kookie starts looking at you with stars in his eyes Jin goes all possessive puppy
All over you at all times he's not ashamed of you he just isn't ready for a relationship
Like Namjoon he will use you for emotional comfort too, although his pillow talk will be mostly jokes and flirting
Your convos don't get too serious unless he's had WAY too much to drink
Then he tells you about his ex and shit gets real for a second before he wakes up the next morning his flirty self again
He gradually stops texting the other booty calls he has on lock, just telling himself you're better in bed, that's all
Finds out you have another fwb when he comes to your house at 3am drunk
He is SO salty, there is less salt in the Pacific ocean
He's whiny and pouty and shading the other dude constantly
"Jealous? Why would I be jealous I'm just wondering why you bother with him, he's ugly."
But if he hung out with you and the other guy would not let on ONE bit. Makes friends with him, I easy going even if he's a bit touchy feely with you
But low-key stares at you like a kicked puppy when no one is paying attention
His friends are all like "what did you do to him?"
YOUR friends are like "what'd you do to him he looks so heartbroken"
He only admits to catching feelings when you get so fed up you say it's done and you are over it
He gets mean when he sees you with the other guy on a real date and says some cruel shit
You are D O N E
Block his number done
He will 100% show up drunk at your house
He's cute so you let him in and he really does look like a kicked puppy
Honest with you for the first time bc he's scared of losing you
"I still don't know if I can trust anyone enough for a relationship but you make me wanna try it. Don't cut me out."
Yoongi (Suga)
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He would only agree to a fwb arrangement if he had some feelings for you
He's not the type to fuck around with a girl he can't see himself dating
Definitely the fuck and run type at first zero pillow talk
Absolute master with his hands and fingers LORD
Not too vocal during sex but it makes him crazy when you are if you want him to nut fast you just gotta moan his name
Won't say anything non sexual unless he's drinking even then it's low key like "You look pretty tonight."
Texts you for booty calls like "hey dumbass wyd"
Will not take you for coffee or be seen in public with you, bc he's worried you're ashamed of him, not the other way around. Otherwise why wouldn't you date him?
You have no clue he likes you. Absolutely none he barely talks to you unless he's horny
He loves it when you booty call him he's so smiley and sweet when that happens
He's so soft to you when you get too drunk at his house party and throw up
He sits behind you as you hug the toilet and strokes your hair for hours
You're shocked to wake up in his bed since he has a strict no overnights rule
Scolds you for drinking so much but brings you breakfast in bed and is low-key a sweetheart through your hangover
You: shook. Your heart: full
You don't tell him you're seeing other people until he point blank asks you. When you say yes, he just nods
"Good we always use condoms then."
Will ignore you and be kind of a dick when he finds out but that's not uncommon so you are still oblivious
If you wait on him to admit to catching feelings you will die waiting
Only one way you will find out
One of his dumbass friends lets something slip when they're drunk (It's probably Jin)
You're complaining about how he's ignoring you at the party
"Bitch he's so whipped for you his lockscreen is your selfie."
You cannot believe it
You think it's bullshit
You end up sleeping in Jungkook's room that night bc you fell asleep whupping his ass at Mortal Kombat
The next morning somebody is slamming every door in the house and throwing dishes around.
Jungkook's door is open so he saw you cuddled up to the maknae
He big mad
When you finally get him to talk about it (probably days later)
"I just don't want you fucking my friends it's messy."
You only find out the lockscreen shit is true when you grab his phone by accident
He knows you know he fucking BAILS
Books it outta your life for like a week
The only way you pin him down is by texting him a paragraph about how you like him too
He kisses you so sweet when you see him next and he's all smiles and affectionate
You're dating now, that's it, no need for discussion
RIP Kookie tho he'll never trust him again despite you telling him a thousand times nothing happened
Hoseok (J-Hope)
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He agrees because he is literally down for anything
Definitely a good time this boy is so much fun in bed
Will try anything once and I mean ANYTHING
You wanna tie him up? Definitely. You want him to eat whipped cream off your tiddies? Tell him when and where
The world's biggest switch don't @me
Has a thing for public sex, loves to finger you on a dance floor
Y'all do everything together, everyone thinks you're just dating
He's a big goofball with you in public, v affectionate
He's your best friend and you're his
Y'all don't take anything seriously when one of you is upset you text each other dumb selfies and fuck it out next time you hang out
Never drunk dials you you won't even know he's out until you see him on the dancefloor with some girl
Y'all compete to see who can dirty dance with the most people before you go home together
Feelings? He's never heard of them
Least likely of all the boys to catch feelings first
Would take him FOREVER to realize he actually likes you
I'm talking y'all have been fucking for MONTHS before he catches on
If he gets jealous he'll just think it's bc he's competitive
If you make him sad by not hanging out with him he'll think he just wants the attention
Feelings hit him like a brick when he finally realizes
You're in his car jamming to his latest track and you're singing and dancing like a fool with your hair flipping around and all of a sudden it's like the sun shines only on you
The boy is SHOOK
He gets real quiet
Scary quiet
You think he's mad but when you ask him he blows you off with a smile saying he's tired
You don't hear from him for a couple of days
He's pacing around his place and trying to process, talking to friends and trying to decide what to do
Everyone tells him to just tell you ofc
Confident boy is not used to feeling insecure he's hesitant.
"What if she doesn't love me back?"
There's no dramatic reveal
He really just asks you on a date
A REAL one
Nothing much changes, honestly, he has always been your bff and being your bf is just a bonus
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