#splinter 2008

[fanofspooky]

Horror movies of 2008

[bodyhorrorbeatdown]

Body Horror Beatdown Match 1, Round 1

Vote for your favorite:

Propaganda under the cut.

Splinter:

"A parasite in the form of thorns grows in the bodies of living things and transforms them into mindless zombies. It all happens while the victim is still alive, which is absolutely the most horrific part of everything imo. The part where the cop's body is ripped in half by a thorn creature and sort-of stitched on to the thorn creature as an addition is top-shelf body horror alone. Basically if the best option for survival is cutting off your mutating appendage before it spreads to the rest of your body, then having to fight said mutated appendage as it comes to life, then you're in a body horror film."

Videodrome:

"Directed by David Cronenberg. Come on. A man inserts a videotape into the gaping, wet hole that has opened up in his abdomen in it."

"Cronenberg films are full of body horror. With a tagline like “long live the new flesh,” this is no exception. It starts off with a plot line centering around a mysterious snuff film and gets stranger and stranger. Is the protagonist hallucinating his TV becoming a throbbing, breathing pair of lips? Does he really have a veiny VCR slot in his abdomen? That fleshy gun hand seems lethal enough to be real!"

[ceteradesunt]

Splinter (2008) dir. Toby Wilkins

[gingersnapsblonde]

Splinter is probably one of thee most slept on horror movies everrrre

[captaincolossal]

Today, I finally made the cookies that I've been meaning to make for like. Probably more than a week. Doing things is hard. Anyway, they're these delicious cakey cookies that are so mild and fluffy, and they're so good dipped in milk. They're a big "fun with chemistry" one because you mix baking soda into sour cream and there's a slow but visible reaction that's kind of entertaining. (Also I was a little stoned, so this was maybe less interesting than it seemed at the time.)

Splinter (2008)

There certainly are splinters. The splinter effects are pretty cool.

[stage666podcast]

Happy Birthday to Splinter (2008)

[what-am-i-outside-my-google-tabs]

I already could not care less for any of these characters. Can't wait for them to get badly killed.

[carrieisscary]

Splinter 2008

[haveyouseenthishorrormovie]

SUMMARY: Trapped in an isolated gas station by a voracious Splinter parasite that transforms its still-living victims into deadly hosts, a young couple and an escaped convict must find a way to work together to survive this primal terror.

Side note: the guy in the striped shirt looks like Dr Mike.

This movie's creature are terrifying! Other than that, this movie looks like it fucks. Please let the mod know if it does, because she has not watched it.

[fanofspooky]

[splatteronmywalls]

[eievuimultimuse]

CROSSOVER: MVA. ( Monsters vs. Aliens )

WARNING: ACCESSING CONFIDENTIAL FILE. ENTER CODE TO CONTINUE: •••••••• CODE ACCEPTED. LOADING CASE FILE: USA-NY-08-02-2023

➤ NAME: Superfly ➤ POWER: Super-sized ( height is approximately 115ft ) with the ability of flight, as his name would suggest. ➤ ORIGIN: Unknown and still under investigation. Issued permit for personnel to interview subject to uncover details. Report of the interview states that personnel were told to " shove it, " then subject refused to engage further, leaving the results inconclusive. ➤ CAPTURED: 2023 ➤ DESTRUCTIVE POTENTIAL: Capable of levelling cities if left to own devices. Interactions with subject have also led to the conclusion that his acts of destruction are fuelled by a strong dislike for humans.

➤ This big boy here is our most recent addition, SUPERFLY. In August of 2023, he abruptly emerged from the ocean and began smashing through New York City ( COMMENT FROM INVESTIGATORS: We have confirmed that this was with malicious intent, which is inconsistent with our previous monsters ). He was promptly brought down and swiftly contained, putting a stop to his destruction. ➤ Currently investigating just where the heck this big fella came from. The most we’ve corroborated so far is that he was terrorizing New York long prior to the incident — in the form of a series of hijackings and other criminal activity, bizarrely enough. As you can imagine, this only raises more questions than answers. We’re trying to learn more, but he’s been as stubborn as a mule and positively un-coo-operative. So looks like we’re stuck figuring it out in our own. ➤ In the meantime, we’re keeping a close eye on him, making sure he’s playing nice with the rest of the team and our personnel. There’s been no further incidents since his arrival and none since clearing him for face-to-face interaction. It better stay that way. ➤ The nerds upstairs wanted to add: apparently that weird green ooze has ‘mutative properties.’ They seem to think it’s what’s responsible for making him the way he is but they ain’t sure how yet. Thankfully, we already figured that it was some form of toxic waste and had it neutralized upon arrival. If that green crap does what those guys say it does, then rest assured, he won’t be getting any bigger or weirder now that it’s been drained dry. ➤ ANOTHER COMMENT FROM INVESTIGATORS: We are well aware of the other ‘mutants’ ( as they are referred to as ) that appeared in New York and are currently monitoring the situation closely in the wake of their exposure. After reviewing their role in the incident as well as interviewing the subject, we have come to the verdict that they bear no positive association with the subject and thus are not a concern as it pertains to him.

[chargohello]

MUTANT MAYHEM TURTLE AGES CONFIRMED

this is a product of insanity on my behalf (no spoilers)

so to start things off the official TMNT Twitter posted this birth month chart for funzies, but I as someone who will never not take things as the factual truth, had to dive deeper.

WHAT DO WE KNOW

1. The movie and trailer both state that the turtles and splinter were mutated "15 years ago". So they are AT LEAST 15

2. The turtles have a confirmed age order being Leo>Raph>Donnie>Mikey (Don's description didn't mention his age but we can assume)

3. Splinter mentioned that when they were mutated they became the age equivalent of when they were animals (grown rat to grown rat man, baby turtles to turtle toddlers).

4. We now know what months they were born in.

WHAT DO WE DO WITH ALL THIS??

Well first we use rationality, if Leo's birthday is first but he's the oldest he must be at least a year older than Mikey and Donnie. We also know that 2008 was 15 years ago (... insane.....). With both of these we can assume that Leo's birthday is sometime January 2007, Raph is April 2007, Don is February 2008 and Mikey is March 2008. Thus making Leo and Raph 16 and Donnie and Mikey 15.

but why stop here...

See knowing the years they were born is the easy part, I want to know the age equivalent of when they were MUTATED. So for those who are curious please stick around

So, it is widely accepted that these four are musk turtles, musk turtles have a lifespan of about 30-50 years, roughly half the average person. We can also assume that the turtles were mutated in August 2008, given that is the same month that Superfly was born.

So let's say the human equivalent age is half of a turtles age (80-100 is roughly double the average 30-50 year turtle life span). Given that 1 year of turtle time is = .5 of human age we divide the turtles technical age PRE MUTATION by two (as before they were mutated they were developing like normal turtles). Leo would be 1 year 7 months in August 2008 assuming he was born in January 2007, so when he was mutated he was the equivalent to a 9.5 month old infant, For Raph he would have been 16 months pre mutation giving him the developmental age of about 8 months. Donnie would be at 3 months and Mikey at 2.5 months old in human development.

So with all that we could probably assume that the boys mental age is slightly less than their actual physical age. To calculate this we would take their developmental age post mutation and add 15 years (since August 2008) making them all 15 with a couple months difference.

To be fair none of this makes sense and I'm totally just running off a whim and got bored and wanted to do some math. But hey if you guys enjoy it

CONCLUSION :

the turtles are 15

TLDR: I did a shit ton of math to prove what we already know and was blatantly stated but with a little more nuance.

[thegoobiest]

SPLINTER | 2008

[hustlerose]

also, what are your thoughts on these games? have you played anything cool recently? let me know!!

[what-am-i-outside-my-google-tabs]

Splinter (2008) you better be the good trash.