#spiralling forever over this

[ptieuca]

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

I'm a doctor, not a miracle worker.

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[royalarchivist]

Fit: I'm going through a hard time right now. Things just haven't been the same since... he left. The light of my life.

Fit: [Looking at chat] That was a joke guys, I'm not– I didn't– It's not meant to be angst, ok? It's a joke, it's a joke! It's a joke, c'mon! That was just too easy.

Fit: Yeah, I just think– he's probably dead! You know? He's probably dead, but that's alright. I'll be dead soon too, so it's fine. [Looking at chat] No– I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I'm not meaning to be angsty, it's just a fckin' habit, ok? [Laughs] I just like– like a sleeper-agent– There's something that activates in my brain that's just like, "You will do gay angst, NOW."

Fit's taken his character's separation anxiety to the next level. 🥀

—

TRANSCRIPT

Fit: [Reading chat] "Why does your look like a homeless? I'm scared" Oh, I'm sorry. Are you offended by my appearance, because I am unhoused at the moment? [Stares at the camera] Wow, that's really– that's really insensitive of you. Alright?

Fit: I'm going through a hard time right now. Things just haven't been the same since... he left. The light of my life. But... it's just– you know.

Fit: [Looking at chat] That was a joke guys, I'm not– I didn't– It's not meant to be angst, ok? It's a joke, it's a joke! It's a joke, c'mon! That was just too easy, that was a fckin' layup! [Mimes throwing a basketball] That was a fckin' layup, and y– [Laughs] Ah, c'mon guys, I'm just teasing ya.

Fit: Yeah, I just think– he's probably dead! You know? He's probably dead, but that's alright. I'll be dead soon too, so it's fine. [Looking at chat] No– I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I'm not meaning to be angsty, it's just a fckin' habit, ok? [Laughs] It's just a fckin' habit! [Laughs] I just– Yeah, I'm twistin' the knife– I'm just gettin' it in there– [Mimes twisting a knife] Like, "Get! Get!"

Fit: I'm sorry. I'm sorry– it's my birthday. It's my birthday, you need to be nice to me on my birthday. I– I can say whatever I want on my birthday, ok?

Fit: [Reading chat] Yeah, "He can't help but roleplay gay angst." I know, I just like– as soon as I see like, the moon, under a starry Minecraft night sky, I just like– like a sleeper-agent, like MK Ultra, that just like– There's something that activates in my brain that's just like, "You will do gay angst, NOW."

[Later]

Fit: The stench is endearing, if anything. It's endearing. [Reading chat] "No wonder he left"?

[He dramatically clutches his chest like he's in pain, then leans out of frame]

Fit: I've said this: just because something is true does not mean you need to say it out loud! There is a time and a place, you require social awareness, I feel like. You lack social awareness right now– [He glances at chat] Am I blurry? God dammit– Stream's going to hell in a hand basket. Let me- let me get into focus.

[brown-little-robin]

I think I'm in the "conscious incompetence" stage of being a social animal in the real world and it sucks so majorly. bro what do you do after you realize you're bad at socializing and then in-person interaction gets harder because you know you're failing at it now.

[spotlightstudios]

Wizard 101: Hey kid, you just got pulled into Wizard School, and it looks like you're ready to start. Go down that path and someone will teach you to fight. Oh shit, that's Malistare, uhhhh, *one minor battle later* Good job kid. Go and do some little quests and beat up some fairies, you're doing great! :)

Pirate 101: You're in jail. Pirates are breaking you out of jail! They're... asking about your trauma. You're a pirate, an orphan, the son of a whore and a scotsman, you were raised by another group of people, now you're pulling a jail break and helping other prisoners escape! A uhhh, a guy threatens to murder you. He's the one who locked you up. The pirate guy almost dies and you have to drive his ship??? *one stressful sail later* Hey kid, go beat up this guy who stole from me. I'm gonna cheat and scam you, btw, just so you know. :)

[lonelyhum]

ouch. my memories

[torchickentacos]

Okay, my unread tumblr DMs have been haunting me for like two and a half years now and I hate it. I'm clicking through and dismissing the notifs without responding to (most) of them, because it's genuinely so late for all of them that it's weird if I do respond at this point. If I have accidentally ghosted you in DMs, I am 1.) so incredibly sorry and 2.) starting a new leaf. I am 👏TAKING CONTROL OF MESSAGE ANXIETY!👏I HOPE! An attempt will be made!

[bikerboyfriend]

[arolesbianism]

Y'know the fun thing abt how I've set up the society that the main stalien cast comes from is that even the most broad general trends across stalien societies tend to not apply to them. So everytime I yap about how most herds form and the general trends in their societies I just get to remember mid yapping that basically none of this will ever be evident or even come up in the main story. Damn isolated motherfuckers

[hangerine]

brain got a little too serious w suicidiation as a coping mechanism over the years, so now i can't hold onto any motivation or desire to move forward. it's me and the "i can leave life when i want to" (due to any minor inconvenience or discomfort) against the world

[bird-girth]

after parsing through A Walk Amongst Tombstones I’m having so many fucking visceral thoughts about this sorry man. and it’s not worth it, he’s - he’s sappy, forced, fucked, centuries of natural selection disregarded for reckless survival, ostensibly inherently self-destructive. ostensibly, because Kakavasha is scared, chassis wrecked with shudders and lacquered in gold.

they don’t see the other hand below the table, clutching your chips for dear life.

the line that gets me the most, though, is - “How could a weak person take such daring risks?” because I don’t know what he means to imply here. that a strong person would take such daring risks? maybe not the dichotomy; maybe a fool, maybe a sick gambler. over and over, maybe I’ve gone insane.

All or nothing. but you, you want to give everything. throw it all onto the table, smile insipid as you’ve learned to do. a sagacious merchant, this loquacious, ostentatious snake of a man, slick with sneers and extols. and the hand under the table clutches his chips for dear life. may all your schemes be concealed.

is this correct enough? I don’t know if it’s for care, but Kakavasha might want to be seen. does it help enforce that iconographic version of him? Is it what Aventurine would do? not live, not preserve, but succeed in death. It was how it would always be. All or nothing. Aventurine needs to be reckless, he needs to smolder, he needs to grovel, he needs to give it all and lose it all and win, even if he isn’t at the table. even if his cards are dealt by an empty hand - he will win, and he won’t go home. he doesn’t have one.

In this dulcet dream of tenebrous schemes, he will go out with a bang. rain jewels, rain carmine blood. everyone will see. you’ll be the closing act, the final sacrifice. you will burn bright, and sear yourself as the forever capricious image in their heads, never known in the end, and you will want it that way. may your schemes forever be concealed; unto, and after, Death.

[miamicommune]

.

[strigital]

utterly adore how Gale likes to use big smart words, wave his hands around like a professor, make smug facial expressions, and walk about like he's already a god of magic yet the moment he catches some feelings towards Tav he's a flustered schoolboy who can no longer properly articulate his mind and not to mention when you ask him to kiss you he just gives you the cutest little peck? and when it comes down to laying some pipe mans ready to summon the most bombastic magical VR experience you ever saw just to avoid the dreaded doing of the sex IRL because Gale of Waterdeep The Magnanimous The Allpowerful The All-Knowing ex-boyfriend of Mystra is in reality a shy little guy who has no damn idea how romance works and for that i will forever love him

look at the way this big nerd stares at Auri I'm melting

[beateveryteamintheleague]

Wrote an essay describing in detail what it feels like to be triggered, be exposed to one said trigger, miss assignments and feel lost over assignments that are due in a few hours due to previous poor mental health (triggers in themselves), currently on period, no therapy for several weeks, still adjusting to new packed schedule. No fucking wonder I feel like shit.

[charfletchh]

who: @cinnamonfm

where: g's rave

charlie could say she wasn't particularly competitive, but who was she kidding? she liked to win, and she liked even more to gloat. "didn't think this would quite be your scene," she sauntered over to heni with a knowing grin. "although you have been surprising me lately." what was wrong with a little teasing?

[caliboron]

I really want to scream as loud as I can and break something