#spiny lumpsucker

[amnhnyc]

What’s a spiny lumpsucker? No, it’s not a nickname for your ex: The spiny lumpsucker (Eumicrotremus orbis) is a fish that inhabits parts of the Pacific from the Washington State coast to Japan and up into the Bering Sea. Typically growing only 3 in (7.6 cm) long, it can often be spotted camouflaged in grass beds and rocky areas, avoiding predators such as cod and lancetfish. Its body shape and small fins mean that it isn’t the best swimmer, but a powerful pelvic fin helps this fish stick to solid surfaces, acting like a suction cup to hold it in place.

Photo: Sara Thiebaud, CC BY-NC 4.0, iNaturalist

[chunkfunkgunk-offishal]

how about a pacific spiny lumpsucker :)

Today on CHUNK! FUNK! GUNK! We rate

the PACIFIC SPINY LUMPSUCKER:

5/10 Chunk

10/10 Funk

9/10 Gunk

Once again we come across a creature I had never heard of before today. Apparently they’re very bony, but since they have such a square shape to them I give them a little chunk. They have a very very funky look and a strange gimmick, high funk. These fish are also very slimy (as found in my brief googling of them), high gunk.

Overall: 9/10

Its eyes are so full of hope. Its mouth is always agape in a state of wonder. Its tummy goes suck suck.

It is beautiful.

[uncharismatic-fauna]

Uncharismatic Fact of the Day

Often hailed as beautiful and powerful, lumpsucker fish have many talents; one important skill they lack, though, is swimming. Lumpsucker bodies are almost perfectly round, which isn't very hydrodynamic. On top of that, they lack a swim bladder-- an organ that other fish use to control their bouyancy. As a result, lumpsuckers spend most of their lives suctioned onto rocks or coral.

(Image: A pair of Pacific spiny lumpsickers (Eumicrotremus orbis) by the Shedd Aquarium)

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[luciferspartner]

I used to be so afraid of using stickers. I was worried I would put them on the wrong thing or I’d use the thing up and the stickers would be lost with it or they’d be wasted or I’d change my mind.

I started putting stickers on everything. My laptop. My journals. My window. My pill cases. I am using them up and I am enjoying them and they make me happy. Happiness does not have to be eternal to be worth seeking.

[opossumartss]

The ✨️pacific spiny lump sucker✨️

[opellisms]

Round 3 MMM artwork

Striped dolphin, Patagonian mara Homo habilis, Pacific spiny lumpsucker

[nayru-s-clay-tablet]

🐸 The bonus art this month featured several characters, with a guest appearance of Frodrick (who is cosplaying as Don Gero), at the suggestion of a patron. I usually don’t include modern references in the art BUT like... everything about the Frodrick house story is too freaking cute! 🐸

Patrons are also getting the chance to vote on whether or not Gan should get a costume change for the final part of the story. This’ll be interesting...

As a reminder, the comic will be on break this Monday. Have a great weekend everyone! ❤️

⭐ Support the comic on Patreon to read ahead and get bonus material! ⭐

[pebbledoes]

Fishuary Day 19: You Know Him

You Love Him Too!

@fish-daily @fishyfishyfishtimes

[peregrineggsandham]

Fun that so many phonetically pleasing words refer to things one wouldn't generally find pleasant

I mean Tolkien was definitely onto something when he waxed poetic about "cellar door" but also Viscera would be a lovely name for a girl

Malaria. Misery. Tetanus. Chlamydia. Rubella. Phlegm. Anthrax. Influenza.

we used up all our pretty words on diseases and that's why the spiny lumpsucker is called that

[lysspossum]

I am halfway done with my animal alphabet!!!!

Any suggestions for the rest of the alphabet are very welcome!

[plethod0ntidae]

very beautiful, very powerful

[pacific-spiny-lumpsucker]

[internetdruid]

Finally a creature with a worse common name to beat tasselled wobbegong & spiny lumpsucker

[iguanodont]

trick or treat !!!!

Hands you a pacific spiny lumpsucker (Eumicrotremus orbis) (:

[bootleg-nessie]

Rating the Accuracy of Animal Names:

(I keep updating this list so check back later)

Marine Iguana: 1/10. They don’t allow lizards in the military

Honey Badger: 1/10. It’s not even made out of honey

Horny toad: 0/10. First of all, this is a lizard. Second of all, I couldn’t find one that was willing to have sex with me so they must not actually be all that horny

Crabeater seal: 1/10. They don’t even eat crabs. Felt uncomfortable asking about the other kind but I’d guess probably not those either

Comb jellyfish: 4/10. Doesn’t even have hair

Hammerhead shark: 10/10. Stop killing hammerhead sharks to make hammers

Paper nautilus: 1/10. Paper would get too soggy

Red Panda: 2/10. Not a panda. More orange than red

Jellyfish: 0/10. Not even a fish, but if it were, jelly would be one of the worst things to be made out of

Electric eel: 5/10. Not an eel. Shocking, I know

Blue footed booby: 2/10. My disappointment is immeasurable. Turns out this lying sack of shit is a just a stupid BIRD

Spiny lumpsucker: 8/10. Apparently this fish is named because it has spines AND a suction cup, not because it sucks on spiny lumps

Pleasing fungus beetle: 2/10. Why would fungus be pleased by a beetle eating it? It just worked so hard to grow

Chicken turtle: 1/10. This is just a regular turtle, there are no chickens involved

Red lipped batfish: 8/10. Not a bat. Does have red lips. Also looks incredibly sexy with that makeup on

Aye aye: 10/10. Does in fact, have two eyes

Blobfish: 10/10 out of water, 1/10 in water. The blobfish gets a bad rap, it only looks like a blob because some dickhead pulled it out of its natural habitat at the bottom of the fucking ocean. You’d look pretty weird if you switched places with them too

Dik dik: 5/10 if male, 0/10 if female. This one’s pretty self explanatory

Mountain chicken: 0/10. THIS IS A FUCKING FROG. STOP NAMING ANIMALS AFTER CHICKENS!

Peacock: 0/10. It pees out of a cloaca, not a cock. Technically it doesn’t even pee either

Monarch butterfly 1/10. They aren’t even one of the species of insects that has a queen, let alone understands the concept of monarchism

Cockatiel: 0/10. They do not have teal cocks

Monkey slug caterpillars: 1/10. These are neither slugs nor monkeys, nor are they some kind of fucked up monkey/slug hybrid. Terrible name all around, the only part they got right was caterpillar

Robin: 5/10. It’s a shame this bird has to resort to thievery but we all have to put worms on the table somehow

Alligator snapping turtle: 1/10. This is not an alligator, nor does it even have the fingers to snap with

Ground squirrel: 5/10. Please don’t grind squirrels

Axolotl: 0/10. Doesn’t ask a lot. Doesn’t ask anything at all

Sea robin: 7/10 This is what happens when the land robin goes pro. This creepy fuck evolved little fingers just to steal things. Is this where fish fingers come from?

Tasmanian devil: 8/10. Much like the christian devil, cool name and way more chill than most people give them credit for. Statistically speaking, they’re far from the deadliest player on the board, but they do have the strongest bite force and won’t hesitate to use it if provoked

Water deer: 7/10. No. This is a meat deer

Star nosed mole: 7/10. Name is somewhat misleading, nose merely star shaped, and not a mass of incandescent gas, a gigantic nuclear furnace

Paddlefish: 3/10. Too narrow to effectively be used as a paddle

Shoebill stork: 1/10. Not made of real shoes. Doesn’t pay bills either

Great white shark: 8/10. I’m inclined to agree for the most part but who came up with the name, David Duke?

Bioko drill: 0/10. At least the hammerhead shark looks like a hammer, this stupid monkey doesn’t even remotely resemble a drill

Hippo Tang: 0/10. That’s a fish, and hippos don’t even drink Tang

Bluejay: 3/10. Not actually blue, it’s just a trick of the light. I bet their real name probably isn’t even Jay either

Satanic Nightjar: 4/10. Should be called “slightly evil looking bird” instead

Tarantula hawk wasp: 1/10. Not a tarantula. Not a hawk. Starting to question if it’s even a wasp

Goblin shark: 10/10? Ever seen their jaw move? They sure are gobblin’

Nudibranch: 5/10. The nude part is accurate but it’s a sea slug, not a tree branch. Not even sure how you could possibly make that mistake

Mongoose: 0/10. No mon, it’s not a goose

Bison: 7/10. I just googled it, bison have more gay sex than straight sex so calling them bi is actually pretty accurate. Points removed because there are bidaughters too

Ram: 10/10. They sure do!

Mandrill: 2/10. They could probably be taught to use drills but I couldn’t find any research on this

Silver fox: 1/10. Silver is way too heavy of an element for an animal to be made of

Mayfly: 9/10 Yeah, they might

Fin whale: 10/10. Yep, whales have fins. Glad we cleared that up

Macaroni penguin: 1/10. They don’t eat macaroni

Horseshoe crab: 0/10. Not a crab. Doesn’t wear horseshoes either

Fangtooth: 10/10. Objectively I have to give it a 10 but this is the stupidest fucking name on the whole list. What’s next, knucklefist? Titboob?

Milkfish 1/10. If I go to your house and you offer me fish milk I’m fucking leaving

Little penguin: 10/10. Telling it exactly like it is

Spider monkey: 1/10. Was expecting a monkey with 8 limbs. Let down once again

Glass frog: 2/10. Not actually made out of glass

Hummingbird: 1/10. They can’t even hum

Centipede: 3-35.4/10. Depends on the species, very few actually have 100 legs

Millipede: 0.8-8/10. They have 800 legs at the most

Sockeye salmon: 1/10. Socks would make terrible eyes

Furry lobster: 10/10, 11/10 if that’s a fursuit

Flying fish: 4/10. Merely glides

Sailfish: 3/10. Doesn’t actually know how to sail

Blanket octopus: 2/10. Octopuses make terrible blankets

Cane Toad: 2/10. Can walk just fine without a cane

[ersatz-colubridae-888]

giving 120 people free reign over a google doc and being told to write is like giving 120 dogs a bone and being told to split the shards amongst themselves.

@pansear-doodles sorry i don't know anyone else in this document to @ because they're all like Anonymous Pacific Spiny Lumpsucker