#spider loud
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Levy is not very familiar with the little things that can be in the rivers, so big brother is there to teach him
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cozylittleartblog · 3 months ago
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50+ deaths at 5 am got me yelling absolute nonsense to the bosses kicking my whole entire ass
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the-cat-and-the-birdie · 1 year ago
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me on here: Hobie Brown would NOT be traditionally romantic and chivalrous. Looking at it's historical and social implications-
me in my head:
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bogmommy · 6 months ago
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"average song is 3 minutes" factoid actualy just statistical error. average song is shorter than that. long song stuart, who lives in australia & makes 18-minute songs, is an outlier adn should not be counted
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so-very-small · 23 days ago
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thinking of borrowers with bug features, in the line of catboys etc
specifically thinking of a itty bitty jumping spider tiny, with many huge eyes, super hyper and excitable, loves to dance, dresses brightly, waves at anyone they meet
and their absolutely terrifying partner, who is a goliath birdeater tiny. absolutely massive compared to their jumping spider partner, basically a human to mini-giant ratio. stoic and aloof, definitely has committed murder felonies, has fangs and venom. and they protect and dote on their tiny jumping spider with all the love in the world
they live in a dollhouse coated in silk, have a pet frog, and are so so so in love
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eagledrawsandvibes · 2 years ago
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So this is how the movie went, right?
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serpentface · 6 months ago
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An interaction between Kulyos, the legendary founding hero of the collective Hill Tribes, and the wildfolk witch Bernike, as depicted in folklore.
The collective Hill Tribes all descended from a single population (informally called Kulyites) who migrated south across the Viper seaway from what is now Finnerich, prior to their written history. Here, they found themselves in a new landscape and in both conflict and cooperation with its preexisting inhabitants (a broad collection of tribes, many of which would eventually coalesce into the Wardi and Wogan peoples).
The detail of why this ancestral group fled their homeland depends on the specific tradition. In some cases, it’s a cultural non-issue- they’re here now, have been for hundreds of years, and will be here for hundreds more. In other cases, they describe a local war, a famine, barbarian invaders from the northwest (likely Dain-speakers, possibly a distant leg of the first Burri empire, maybe both), or a combination of all three. All sources agree that cattle and horses were brought on ships with the migrants, though they differ on whether they already had a khait riding tradition or if this (or khait themselves) were adopted from the native population.
The Kulyites were small in number and had neither the power to gain territory by force or negotiation, thus having to settle in some of the few uninhabited territories, the rocky highlands of the northwest. These were difficult lands, far from ideal for farming and grazing, and much of the founding mythology surrounds the first Kulyites learning the ways of this new land and how to thrive where no one had before.
It is said that this original group was led by a young chieftain named Kulyos (this name comes directly from the word 'kulys', the thick mountain plant with yellow flowers seen here, which is important in the regional diet for its fruits and use in tea, and as a symbol of hardiness). He is credited with leading his people to their current lands, establishing many of their core traditions and ways of life, and settling conflicts with the local mountain spirits, thus allowing for his descendants to live there to this day.
Kulyos is very likely to be a based on a real person (possibly the actual chieftain of the original Kulyites, but more likely one of their sons or grandsons), but the details of his life are lost, his history interwoven with myth and allegory. He is usually characterized as well humored and supremely wily, a good leader and beloved by his people, overcoming most challenges with cunning and cooperation rather than brute force. He is wise in the ways of the mountain gods and spirits, and often escapes trouble by means of proper respect to the gods and calculated (if risky) dealings with spirits. He is a mostly venerable figure, but often cast as comically flawed (notably, being lecherous and prone to lying).
One of the most popular and widespread legends is his theft of the wildfolk witch Bernike’s deer and magic cloak.
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Bernike was the greatest sorcerer of all the Wildfolk, unmatched in power and likened to a god. Her secret was her feather cloak, obtained in a pact with the storm goddess Ariakh and made from the goddess' very own black feathers. Ariakh agreed to provide Bernike with great power in return for routine sacrifice of fine livestock which her sons, the winds, would tend among the clouds. (This likely references practices of some of the proto-Wardi, who may have venerated a form of Ariakh in similar ways). The other condition was that all of Bernike’s magic arts would be contained within the feather cloak, making her powerless without this artifact (this would prevent her from challenging the goddess herself- being made from her body, it could not be used against her).
Bernike ruled over the highest mountain, which had a small pass critical to travel in the area, and took glee in torment of the new human additions to the region. The best grazing in the highlands was upon Bernike's foothills, and this was where the Kulyites settled. In their herding and trading, they would often have to traverse her mountain pass, and she would stop them and demand tribute (usually in form of cattle).
The reason for Bernike's demands was her herd of a hundred scimitar deer, her greatest prizes. These deer were magical in nature- strong enough to be used as mounts and plow animals, faster and more surefooted than any other hooved animal, and their milk could cure disease and impart longevity in those who partook (Bernike herself was over 5,000 years old and as spry as ever). Now that new people with cattle, khait, and horses had entered her lands, Bernike had a new source of livestock for the goddess and no longer would have to offer up her own precious herd.
She would be greedy and merciless with the settlers, demanding exorbitant offerings and inflicting them with terrible curses when they refused. The people all learned to live in fear of her, but had no other option but to submit to her demands in order to pass through her mountain.
After a few years of this, Kulyos had grown quite tired of her demands on his people, and aimed to level the playing field. He had his wife, Brunil (herself a major character in this mythos), disguise herself and take a herd of cattle and ox-drawn cart through the pass. Bernike, of course, appeared and demanded tribute- the woman would only be allowed to pass if she gave the witch her choice of two of her finest cattle, and otherwise would be turned into a biting fly. Perhaps a sparrow, if she was lucky.
Brunil sorrowfully conceded, and begged that Bernike at least be quick about making her choice. Brunil said she was on her way to her sister's wedding, down in the village to the south of the pass. The cattle were to be a gift, and she also had a cask of the finest mead with her that needed to be delivered on time for the ceremonies.
Just as planned, Bernike immediately lost interest in the cattle and instead demanded the mead. Brunil put on a great show of hesitation and sorrow, but eventually relented and allowed the sorceress to take the entire cask. Brunil was allowed to travel onward (‘my sister will be so disappointed’), while Bernike eagerly set about drinking.
Kulyos had followed his wife from a distance and now watched and waited in a copse of trees. The witch drank enough mead to kill a man before she even began to get tipsy, and drank enough to kill two more before she fell into a deep, drunken slumber.
Kulyos then crept up upon her and took the cloak from her unconscious body, donning it over his shoulders. He then approached her deer, which did not flee, recognizing the scent of their master. He mounted on back of one of the bucks, and used it to drive the rest of the herd back down the mountains.
The next morning, Bernike awoke on the hillside, finding herself without her cloak, robbed of her deer, and with a nasty hangover.
She was outraged. This was not the first time she had dealt with Kulyos, and she recognized his scent in the air. She knew exactly who had robbed her. If she were in full power, she could have hunted Kulyos down and turned him into a flea, or made him impotent, or given him dysentery with a mere wave of the hand. Without her cloak, she was powerless, having no magic at all and no more physical capability than any other small (unusually spry, 5000 year old) woman.
She finally relented and contacted Ariakh herself, expecting the goddess to be furious at the theft. Ariakh was indeed furious, but not so much at Kulyos. The man had shown nothing but the proper respect to her, and she was unwilling to punish him for his deed. It was Bernike's failure, and would be up to Bernike herself to put things right. Still, as a favor to her most devoted follower, Ariakh agreed to give Bernike one of her magical arts back to help her along- the power of shapeshifting.
Back in the village, the deer were already showing their worth. Just two bucks had been put to the plow, and they had turned a field in three hours that would have taken an oxen three days. The animals were docile towards their new owner, even letting themselves be milked, and this was the most delicious milk any had ever tasted and could be fermented into the finest of murre.
Kulyos was quite pleased with his theft, but knew this would not be the end of things, and he kept the cloak on his person day and night. He took great care of it, and left out offerings of murre to Ariakh each night that he had it in his possession, to show his continued and utmost respect for the goddess he may have insulted as a byproduct of his theft. He went about his life, always watching and waiting for Bernike's inevitable return.
And so she came, though she was crafty and subtle, and did not make herself obvious. She first took the form of a bat and attempted to fly in through his window and take the cloak as he slept, only to find herself entangled. Those familiar with the legends would know that Kulyos had already bargained with the queen of the spiders to send some of her children into his village, who had cast their webs over the windows and happily ate all the bothersome flies and mosquitoes that had previously plagued his people. Humiliated and harassed by hungry spiders, Bernike fled.
The next day, she took the form of a viper, perfectly camouflaged and waiting in the grass to bite him as he tended to his herds. Kulyos indeed approached, but it was his little son who came near to Bernike. No matter, she thought. She would bite his son and seize the cloak when Kulyos tended to his child's wounds. Ariakh herself was offended at the aggression towards the child, innocent of Kulyos' crime and for whom he had prayed protection, and she sent a crested eagle (a snake eater) to swoop straight overhead.
Kulyos wisely realized a serpent must be in the area, and told his son to stay still. He used his spear to part the grasses in search of it, and at the sight of snake-Bernike, pulled back to stab her. In her panic, Bernike changed shape into a gazelle and fled, thus revealing herself and losing the element of surprise. Now, Kulyos knew for sure that she was after him, and knew she would come in the form of an animal.
Bernike was not stupid, she knew she had lost her advantage. So she waited a month for him to let his guard down, and took the form of a huge, beautiful aurochs bull, trotting and bellowing among Kulyos’ cows as if looking to mate. Surely he would be tempted by such a handsome and valuable animal, and she could take the cloak from him when he got close. And it seemed to have worked, for he excitedly approached with a lasso and slung it around her neck, speaking softly and soothingly as one would to such a wild prize. But instead of trying to lead her off, he tied the other end of the rope around a tree and walked away.
Bernike waited patiently for his return, no doubt in her mind that he was simply getting assistance in leading such a powerful animal away. Instead, Kulyos came back alone, leading his own prized bull (the giant white beast, Pyliod) along with him. As soon as Pyliod caught sight of what he perceived to be a rival bull, he became enraged, and charged at Bernike. She was chased around the tree ten times before she turned into a lion to face him down. The great bull was only more enraged at the sight of a predator, and chased her ten times more (and giving her a nasty jab in the hind, she is said to still bear the scars) before she gave up, turning into a sparrow to slip the rope and flying away. (The trunk of this tree still stands today, with the frayed remnants of an ancient rope around its base).
Now, Bernike waited another month, and took the form of a beautiful young woman, barely-dressed in riverfolk garb and tempting him from the edge of a creek. This attempt would have worked, but Brunil herself, quite annoyed, interceded by chasing the girl away with her staff and giving her husband a stern reprimanding. (“I knew it was her,” Kulyos insisted. "I had a plan.")
Finally, Bernike threw subtlety to the wind and took the form of a huge king hyena, the most powerful beast in the land, and came rampaging into the village. All the people feared this great animal, and even the most powerful warriors would hesitate to approach such a beast head-on. But Kulyos had known the witch would lose her temper at some point or another from the very beginning, and had tasked all the mothers and young children in the village with weaving a great net, so wide as to hold the largest beast, and so finely woven that not even a flea could escape.
Seeing the beast approach, he called to his his three daughters to fetch the net. He stood at the center of the village as bait, running and dodging from the beast while his daughters prepared the trap between two huts. His eldest, Aylian, whistled her signal, and Kulyos ran straight for the net, diving through the small space beneath. The witch in catform was far too big for such a maneuver and barreled right into the net, and Kulyos and his daughters wrapped it around her, trapping her in its clutches.
She fought the net with everything she had, turning into everything she knew how- a great bull, a lion, a tremendous riverdrake, a giant leviathan, a tiny songbird, a mosquito, and so on, but there was nothing she could do to break through. Finally, she turned back into her original shape, a tiny, bearded old woman, and demanded Kulyos approach.
He offered her a deal. If she would swear an oath in front of Ariakh herself of nonretribution and to end her demands of tribute from his people, he would return the cloak and all but two of her precious deer (a doe and stag), and his people would leave offerings of mead and murre at her pass every year on this day to grant them safe passage. Utterly defeated (and finding this offer quite appealing, in spite of her wounded pride), Bernike agreed, and called the great goddess forth.
Ariakh descended in the form of a dragon (a legendary beast with the head of a horned serpent and body of a bird), alighting on the roof of a hut. She plucked a single, massive feather from her breast and threw it to the ground, and Kulyos and Bernike both laid hands on it and swore their oaths. A vow before a goddess would have unspeakable consequences if broken, even for such a mighty sorcerer as Bernike.
Bernike donned her cloak and took her favorite form, that of a gigantic gray eagle. She took to the sky with a fearsome screech, circling the village three times, and then led all but two of her deer, a stag and a doe, back into the mountains.
And with this, the conflict was ended.
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These deer are said to have become a great boon to the Kulyites. The herds they produced were eventually lost to the people and none of the Hill Tribes have herded deer ever since (that's another story), but their impact lives on. Being magical animals, they could breed not only with each other, but with khait, and produced the small, hardy khait stock still used as mounts and plow animals by the people to this day.
Bernike had only sworn nonretribution and an end to the tributes from Kulyos' people, but she did not swear to never harm them again, and as such all people who claim descent from the Kulyites avoid her mountaintop to this very day (with many more legends describing the consequence to those that do not), and are always sure to bring their yearly offerings of mead and murre to ensure continued safe usage of her pass.
Bernike also only swore to end tribute from his people, and other legends involve her stopping entire invading armies from navigating her pass with (often mischievous and utterly impossible) demands of tribute, and great consequences when these demands are not met.
Bernike is an ambiguous figure in the cultural schema, being feared and respected, an annoyance in her neutrality in (or active inflaming of) conflicts between the Hill Tribes, but credited as a protector of the collective peoples of the highlands. She is often cited as one of the reasons that neither the Burri empires nor the contemporary Wardi empire have ever seized the inner highlands, and no invader ever will.
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asavt · 8 months ago
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Into the confessionary a little spider walked
Mind not quite there
Quite lost
Memories scrambled around, confused
Pain flaring up, things that shouldn't have been said out
Siblings falling apart
Guilt over forgotten acts
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sincericida · 6 months ago
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TASM Peter Parker came back? Or did TASM Peter Parker never leave?
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polararts · 2 years ago
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hi, it's totally cool if u don't but is there any way you could show like a full turn around video of the hobie keychain?
You're in luck! They arrived really really early so I have them!! I'll start sending them out as soon as I get the thank you cards (which might take a week+). It'll still be earlier than the estimated send out though. Reminder that preorder deals end on the 22nd! [Shop here]
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bro HATES headcanons
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there is always a naughty, for another naughty
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ace-and-sleepdeprived · 9 months ago
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fucking love the fact that a select few people got so fed up with how much sexual content of miguel there was that they just went "okay you know what?? he doesn't feel that kind of attraction. he doesn't NEED that kind of attraction. we're taking his sexual attraction and throwing it in the trash so you can grow to LOVE and CARE for him as an actual PERSON and not as a weird sexual fantasy come true."
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the-cat-and-the-birdie · 11 months ago
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Crimes against humanity: Calling Miguel O'Hara a 'boomer' despite the fact he was born fifty years after any of the people reading this.
Crime against humanity 2: Forgetting that HOBIE is the ACTUAL boomer in this situation and he is technically 'older' by birth year.
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wolviez · 10 months ago
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comicbookcovers · 2 years ago
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Quittin' time, part 1
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