#and things changed for the spider

[asavt]

Into the confessionary a little spider walked

Mind not quite there

Quite lost

Memories scrambled around, confused

Pain flaring up, things that shouldn't have been said out

Siblings falling apart

Guilt over forgotten acts

[royaltea000]

YO! Being a drawing, what’s there to be afraid of!

[voltrixz]

Assorted Electroshocker things lala (doodles and wips (that i most likely wont finish. or idk)

I like playing around with their dyanmic, lalala

[locksox]

forgot these in the big jon post oops lol

[dykedvonte]

Jimmy killing himself because he knows he is incapable of living an life without Curly and knows that in the miracle chance they were found and saved they would not let him have contact with Curly and he hates the idea he'd actually have to take responsibility.

Even if he lied, its only a matter of time before Curly is capable of showing or telling what a monster he really is, no matter what delusions tell Jimmy Curly would never do that to him.

He understands that he was the monster in everyone's worse moments but refused to accept that at the end. So he made sure that he died without the possibility of it being actualized as he's the only one that saw death as an escape rather than a release. Jimmy truly didn't believe Curly had anything to escape from even after everything and let him have what he perceived as glory as the sole survivor and thus Captain of the Tulpar.

[ropes3amthoughts]

Who up Delta-ing they Kaisen

Alt Dark World ideas under cut (with JJK spoilers)

Thought it might be interesting to have Sukuna’s tattoos show up in the Dark World design because Sukuna is meant to be the SOUL in this. Wasn’t sure how I felt about the full tattoos or even any tattoos at all tho. I thought the on on the right might be cool because the forehead tattoo lowkey looks like the Deltarune symbol plus it’s hidden under the shadow. Wasn’t entirely sure tho

[theres-a-man-in-the-archives]

𝙈𝙮 𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙤𝙣𝙖𝙡 𝙏𝙎𝙎𝙈 𝙈𝙤𝙣𝙩𝙖𝙣𝙖 𝙃𝘾𝙨

(𝙛𝙩. 𝙎𝙝𝙤𝙘𝙠𝙚𝙧/𝙈𝙤𝙣𝙩𝙖𝙣𝙖/𝙅𝙖𝙘𝙠𝙨𝙤𝙣 𝙒. 𝘽𝙧𝙞𝙘𝙚)

[✖] Warning: Lengthyyy postt... (again), angst, mentions of depression, toxic masculinity, repressed homosexuality, smoking, drinking, implied murder/killing, lmk if anything else needs to be tagged ✉ A/N: This one was actually set up as a draft and has a few hcs that were inspired a WHILE ago by @voltrixz and @mr-voorhees-husband, (and the movie Sinners too apparently...) so shout out to them and go check out their works :]!!

•----------• pt. 1, pt. 2, pt. 3

► Now Playing: Hozier - Angel of Small Death and The Codeine Scene

𐚁 I think about the fact that one of the decors in Montana's Big Sky bar quite literally says:

"NO FIGHTING, SPITTING, GAMBLING, CUSSING, SCRATCHING!"

... My personal hc of that is that Montana had placed up that set of rules a long time ago, back when he had initially gotten Big Sky for the first time. This would be at a time where he was also in the process of starting out his job as an Enforcer or at least a job akin to it (basic mercenary work) before his big score working for Tombstone. It'd be a time that he'd still have some level of morality in him and a wish to be "good" but, gradually the rules just begun to lose its meaning altogether. Good men and heroes don't get paid to just simply be good, unfortunately. So, he probably stopped reinforcing the rules, at least some of them. Hell, he probably doesn't even actually follow all if not a few of them.

But he still keeps it up, just as a reminder.

𐚁 Montana's got a pick-up truck. I'm sorry. He just genuinely gives me the vibe of some guy who owns a pickup truck and HEY. It's incredibly convenient for him I'd like to think (probably has a Dodge Ram or something too... Although, you can honestly change that because I am NOT familiar with car breeds, forgive me). With his bar, I'd imagine he'd probably need something to bring in new furniture he'd find or other.

He'd use it in his line of work too, when Big Man sends out a hit on a particular unlucky individual, the bodies might need moving or shovels need to be brought, maybe a can of gasoline. It's efficient, convenient and it's his.

—Said pickup truck would also probably be old, like really old. Definitely was used before he got proper ownership of it. It's black, and its interior has a bit of worn down leather seats. He's probably got one of those little pine tree air fresheners that smell of "black ice", and more often than not you'll find half-empty cigarette boxes, or a pair of leather gloves, a tool he'd been looking weeks for lost beneath the seats, something like that.

𐚁 He's got another vehicle too, and it wasn't initially intended to be there but... I'd like to imagine that Montana in his youth at least had some and if not one irresponsible spending. Maybe it was his first big paycheck and he started saving before this came along and caught his eye... That being a motorcycle (grrr... My head has been filled with biker montana propaganda... grrr...). Nights of adrenaline sparking joy rides, and reckless runs have now been reduced since he moved to the big city. It's hard to relive nights of speeding down long roads when the traffic is that bad, so the bike kind of just sits neglected from time to time until the opportunity presents itself for him to feel a bit young for once. Plus, it occasionally gets its moments of daylight whenever his truck ends up breaking down. It's always good to have a backup.

𐚁 He likes country music, that much is probably a no-brainer, but if we're being specific. I think he'd like country blues, and if I was to be REALLY specific about it—Chicago and Texas blues. He's got a few records and discs that sit around in his office in the back, probably stuff like "Pride and Joy" or "Texas Flood" by Stevie Ray Vaughan & Double Trouble, or maybe even "At Home Alone" by John Primer, just something he can play in the background while drinking by himself in his bar on late nights.

𐚁 Montana's not entirely a traditional man, and he's not that close-minded I'd like to think... BUT, that isn't to say that he still has a few beliefs in him that might be considered old fashioned to a degree like the idea of "being a man" or some other subjects. Something about the idea that a man must carry all the responsibilities and the weight of it by himself, is a thought that's embedded itself into his mind, hard-wired. The idea of being emotionally vulnerable and open about his emotions, past, or even everything he's been through so far is a no go. Crying? Hell no, not in front of people and not ever. He will not allow that for himself or the privilege of anybody else seeing that. Some of his beliefs almost and UNCOMFORTABLY border on toxic masculinity, the idea of "controlling your emotions" instead of letting them run rampant runs in his mind and it joins hand-in-hand with the unhealthy notion that "you shouldn't be emotional or open about what you're feeling."

𐚁 A few other ideas that he holds himself up to is to refuse the offer of help, not when he can do it himself. He's faced the experience of how cruel and unforgiving life can be in the form of a complete punch to the face type of lesson, and stack that on a few times? He's practically grown used to it. He's incredibly firm about how self-sufficient he is, and he's stubborn about it. Asking for help from anybody but himself is another cemented thought process he has, and he has the attitude that he trusts himself first over anybody else (even his own Enforcers). Unless he's in a state where he's in a physically/medically critical situation or straight up knocked out, you are going to be going through the TRENCHES trying to get this man to genuinely get off his high horse about receiving help, this extends to confronting him about any emotional/mental problems he has.

𐚁 There's also natural part of him that refuses to allow people to get incredibly close to him. That isn't to say he is incapable of having any close relationships whether it's romantic or platonic. He just prefers (for the better) some sort of distance just enough to sever off the feelings in him and lie to himself that whatever relation he had meant nothing, or at least not as much as he'd like to lie to himself about. He is in a dangerous line of work, the idea of having a relationship, much less a friendship that forces him to care about someone deeply is admittedly terrifying when they could disappear from his life at any moment. It's why he mainly sticks to either having some friendships, and hookups/flings. Leaves him often feeling lonely at times, but in his personal mind. It's for the better of himself. A self-made martyr designed for nobody else but him.

𐚁 Speaking of intimacy/closeness/and relationship stuff like that, I also think he'd also have a bit of repressed homosexuality. It's already scary enough for him to be with a woman and care for them deeply, but being with a man? That's just as equally conflicting, and if not more so. It's not to say that being against homosexuality was something that was heavily pushed down his throat. He probably had some sort of experience with religion at some point in his life. He probably never even thought of how he personally felt about it until a situation would have to arrive and slap him in the face over it. He's not used to the idea and even at times when he gets as close as he is with a man, he would never realize how close or how comfortable he is until it bites him in the ass and haunts him. He wouldn't even have a proper reason of why it's wrong or how it's "not right" in the first place which would send him even further down the pit of questioning himself.

𐚁 I'd also headcanon him personally as a man who's not really religious either. Faintly monotheistic? I think he'd at least believe there's some kind of Hell or Heaven, or maybe even some kind of god up there but it's not really a strong belief either. He's more than open to using the lord's name in vain rather than keeping it clean off his tongue. He just barely dances the line between atheist and monotheist, with some ghost of Christian belief in him. (Also, it's more fun that way to make him go insane when he can't directly use God/religious beliefs as a reason to why he feels "pressed" about his homosexuality. Yess... Make this man dread. Make this man search for a reason he has no belief in. Make this man question himself... Gay thoughts... Gay thoughts be upon ye—also if it matters to anybody, probably not, I personally headcanon him as at least bi with a little male-leaning preference... Then again I do it with every character I come across. Call me King Pride-ass)

𐚁 Used to be a huge flirt when he was younger, definitely was more prone to a few hookups and flings in his time. He considers himself a little bit "rusty" now but give him a shot of confidence or at least a moment and he'll be talking like he's right back to his old ways. (I'll probably talk more about the dating/romantic aspects of this man in a future dating hcs list)

𐚁 He's got a bit of a smoking/drinking problem. Smokes from time to time, but it's not always. Drinking though?? That, is more accessible to him, and he is absolutely a drinker. It used to be worse in his younger days when he was more "free" and reckless but as he's gotten older. It's gotten... A little better?? (I say this like it's a lot but actually it just translates to: you'll find him shit-faced and/or passed out in an alley a lot less, now the rarity will just be more found in his bar after closing hours). With his smoking problem, he probably has a tendency to just tell off people who hassle him about it that he's either far too deep into it now to stop, or the golden "I can stop whenever I want to"

𐚁 Montana is not by any means an insecure man about his looks. He's not overly narcissistic about it but he's at least comfortable in both appearance and his body. Doesn't stop him from being a smidgen surprised if someone openly brings up how handsome he looks.

𐚁 He likes escaping out of the city at times with nothing but a pack of beer out in the back of his truck, and a place out in the woods somewhere or just.. Somewhere far enough to get away from the city and clear his head. Sometimes he'll bring Fancy Dan or Ox along with him, sometimes he'll go alone. He mainly does it because he misses the countryside, and there's times where he might've regretted abandoning his old life as a cattle hand to go live his life dancing on the edge of a knife like this as an Enforcer... Or maybe that's the bottle talking for him.

𐚁 Not entirely all that artistic? (Look at the interior of his bar.. COUGH) Like I mentioned in my past hcs about him being at least good at origami, I'd like to think he's capable of making a few crafted pieces, but it's not entirely great. I think the closest form of art Montana might be able to do is whittling, and that's mainly because he works well with a knife. If you ask him to make you a drawing, he probably won't be as confident but given that he's also quite a bit of an observer to things. I think he'd be able to sketch and if not roughly draw something up for you that looks something like this. Also WILL NOT believe you if you tell him it looks good.

𐚁 Speaking of being an observer, he has a habit of people-watching. It kinds of ties into the fact that his main and natural role is being a strategist. Just sits back and analyzes a situation before calling the shots. I mean that as well as in... Wherever he goes, he at least ALWAYS gets a good look of the room he's in and if it's a cafe, restaurant, or some other type of establishment. He wants a spot that sort of gives him the entire layout of a room. He wants to know EVERYTHING that is happening around him in the very case that someone is following or is looking to take him out (working for the Big Man means that he's also prone to being victim to any of Big Man's enemies by association. Also undercover police or some other...). If he's also spent a long enough time at a place or around certain people, he's grown a habit of knowing people by their footsteps before they walk through the door.

𐚁 Probably has a bit of depression but he won't realize it in himself. Unless someone else starts bringing it up for him to realize it? He'll be in a bit of denial. He's trying to dig himself a rather modest/humble life but that's kind of hard when your life is being threatened at all angles. He's cautious all the time. Trusts no one. He's killed people. It's obviously done things to the man that he'd rather stuff in the back of his mind or into the bottom of a bottle. He's mentally fatigued and constantly stressed out. Doesn't show it at all but... He's tired. Always. And notably brushes it off like it's nothing. Always.

𐚁 He knows some other languages besides English, not well enough to write, and probably knows enough to speak with broken words... Which in his mind, means he can't speak it for shit either. But he DOES understand some words, he's in a job where he's been tasked in killing people of all backgrounds, meeting people from all kinds of backgrounds, and obtaining knowledge about certain people. He runs a bar, he's definitely heard a few things. I'd imagine at least one of the language he somewhat knows is Spanish, a few words here and there, a sentence or two, but don't try and start a conversation with him. He'll probably lose you at around the first five to three words. EVEN IF HE DOESN'T KNOW EXACTLY WHAT SOMEONE IS SAYING, I'D LIKE TO HOPE HE'S A CRITICAL THINKER. I'D LIKE TO IMAGINE THAT HE CAN PIECE TOGETHER WHAT A FEW WORDS MEAN... Like, based on the tone and at least a couple familiar English words that sound the same.

𐚁 Pretty decent with a guitar, he probably used to be a lot better in his youth and could play a few songs, but he's gotten a bit rusty nowadays. He's too busy with everything else and doesn't really have time to pursue more "leisurely" hobbies. Probably has forgotten a few notes, but he can technically play it. That's about it.

𐚁 Not entirely the best cook per say, but he’s incredibly competent in the culinary field. I mean this as in, for a guy who SHOULD legally have a food facility health permit—along with a few other things, Montana should at least be able to know the basics (and this is probably the most random headcanon I came up but as a kid back then who had to go through a Food Protection Course in my culinary class and it was MIND BOGGLING. You bet I’m projecting onto this completely random cowboy). You can at least trust him in the kitchen not to turn it into soot and cinder. He knows how long food should stay out. He knows the FIFO method. He knows the temp for meat without looking it up. He knows food safety. You can TRUST HIM I PROMISE.

𐚁 That being said, he's a basic cook. Knows how to season his stuff (ooughhh I hc him as a bit of cajun in him ooough), and if he's making food. He's at least making good food for himself. He doesn't care how it looks sometimes, as long as it tastes good and keeps him fed. He's happy about his work. Probably knows at least one recipe (maybe gumbo)

𐚁 Probably knew how to dance once in his younger days too, maybe a swing, a waltz, or even dare I say square dancing, but nowadays. He's not prone to "making himself look like a fool," at least not without a bottle or two first so he can swallow his pride with.

[holyraconteur]

Here are some headcanons about @atlasxspeaks's post about Spider distancing himself from everything Na'vi to be himself. Human. I have so many feelings about this because it's angsty and sad.

-) The anklet Kiri made for him is the only piece of Na’vi jewelry Spider wears anymore. The simple braided cord is fraying now, the colors have faded with time, dirt, and sweat, but Spider never takes it off. Even when he bathes. Even when he's in full combat gear, fighting RDA soldiers. It's the only reminder of his past he clings to, because it's not about the culture, it’s about her. It reminds him of a time before things got so complicated and messed up that he broke.

-) He hacked off his hair. No one saw him do it. Spider came back one evening with his dreads gone, replaced with a close, rough-cut that looked like he’d done it with a combat knife and a tiny mirror. Kiri cried when she saw it. Neteyam didn’t say a word. Lo’ak made a weak joke that he immediately regretted. Tuk silently touched his hair and frowned. "What is this?" She asked in a solemn tone that sounded too mature for her age. "This isn't you." Spider didn’t explain. Just muttered something about not wanting to get caught in machinery or grabbed from behind. But they all knew it was more than that.

-) He speaks English more and more. He stops speaking Na’vi. Not all at once, but gradually, like sand slipping through his fingers. Where once he spoke Na’vi with ease, now he speaks English. He starts using English even with the Sully kids, even with Kiri. The clan notices. So does Neytiri. It unsettles them more than they care to admit. He only speaks Na'vi when he is conversing with Mo'at or members of another clan, like the Metkayina. Afterwards, he goes right back to speaking English.

-) Spider has his own room in Hell's Gate. It’s cold, sterile, but he finds comfort in it and decorates it to his heart's content. He hangs beautiful sketches he drew of Pandora's creatures and scenery, and the Sully kids, on the walls. Not as art, but as memories. As comfort. As ghosts. His bed is always neatly made. Not a wrinkle in sight. He keeps a stash of old human books and manuals under it, filled with notes and redacted lines he's crossed out with angry scribbles and contemplative sentences. Spider no longer visits the village or the Sully's home. Instead, the kids visit his room, and they all sit together on his bed, or one of them will be perched on his desk or dresser. Kiri sits next to Spider, eyes scanning the drawings on his wall, and her heart is relieved and content because, with all his changes, at least Spider still loves them. However, she is still deeply sad that he no longer comes to visit.

-) Spider sets aside his bow in favor of using human weapons. He becomes something of a prodigy in human tech. Norm tries to discourage him gently, but Spider's focus is razor-sharp, and he will not be swayed. He’s building weapons and improving them to fight the RDA and hit them where it hurts. Efficient. Clean. Distant. Surgical. A form of control in a life where he’s had so little. The tech he builds won't leave bullet casings all over the ground or make a mess. It will get the job done. Sometimes, Spider will lock himself away for weeks or months on end, building the tech out of scrap he collected.

-) He still worships Eywa. That will never change. Spider speaks to Eywa under his breath. Quiet, like a child afraid of being overheard. Whispers in the quiet of night or while he's doing his daily routine. He becomes irrationally angry whenever someone overhears him.

-) Even now, even after turning away, some part of him still wants it. A word from Neytiri. A smile from Jake. An acknowledgment that he is more than a shadow. But he smothers that part of himself like a dying ember. Hope is dangerous. Hope is what broke him in the first place. He is human, and that's all he will ever be. He belongs with his own kind.

-) He no longer goes by Spider. Spider is now Miles Socorro, and he flinches or does not respond whenever someone calls him Spider.

[rorydrawsandwrites]

FANFIC TIIIME

I've only read a few sentences yet and I'm already hyped!! Rambling in the tags below (part 1)

[sincericida]

Some things never change about my favorite scientist.

[coconut530]

SPIDER AND STAG

[somanyofthekids]

I am normal and can be trusted with crafts and media fixations :)

Come into the stitchfiddle chart with me :)

It’s safe in here :)

Have a rest on the bench :)

[allthebestnamesweretaken]

Something about the debate scene where Spider goes full misogynist has been nagging my brain. Yes he’s an asshole, and the fact that he says all this shit knowing it hurts people even though he doesn’t necessarily always believe it makes it worse imo. And no he didn’t change, he took a few posters down and said “okay imma stop being an ass to impress this girl I like”. But knowing that from his POV he was trying, and was going to continue to try to prove to Missy he could change, and then she did a 180 (again from his POV), pushing him even more towards Voss, is a bit heartbreaking. I don’t want it to sound like I’m making excuses for him, he’s awful and needs to take responsibility and properly atone. But he’s also a vulnerable/impressionable teenager and Voss saw that and used it in his favor. You could see the moment he made his decision and he was just so hurt and damn. These writers really got me feeling a lil bad for him in that moment

[squirrelstone]

me watching the Spider-Man franchise become a metaphor for determinism in direct conversation with the original concept

[ducktollers]

also currently thinking abt it cuz there was a tarantula on b99. i wish i liked tarantulas. i should love them in theory theyre just fluffy crawly guys. and yet they and all spiders scare the living shit out of me WHY. why do i like insects but not spiders. every time it came up in my uni classes ppl thought it was weird bc insect people are usually also spider people. i love snakes and insects i should love spiders too but i hate them WHY IS THAT

[sciderman]

I swear I have read your big post regarding Peter Parker's neurodivergence and why it is best to avoid labelling him, but he definitely has a weird brain

Can't find it and feel kinda sad about it cuz I deeply related to it

i know exactly which post you're talking about and i can't find it either! i've raked through my archive, and it's just - nowhere to be seen. i think tumblr eated it (it happens.)

really, tumblr's search functionality is so so useless, i don't know what to tell you. there are plenty of keywords i can search to find it that post, but the search functionality actually just does not work!

undiagnosed audhd-addled peter parker, my darling, my light, my life, my everything.

i think peter parker's such an interesting creature to write, because a lot of people will point to a certain behaviour about him and say "this is an autistic thing, right?" but a lot of those behaviours are actually, in my head, tied to certain traumas in peter's life too.

people say "oh, the food thing, peter's a picky eater because he's autistic" and yes, absolutely. but also it's tied to his trauma with his parents.

peter gets overstimulated, and yes, it's an autism thing, but also he was bitten by a radioactive spider and his senses are dialled to 11.

it's a similar case i've found for myself, too – where a lot of friends i have kind of diagnose me because i have autistic traits, but actually - i'm hesitant to claim the label or pursue diagnosis because, actually, i know where these certain behaviours come from, and they come from certain traumas. there are events i can pinpoint in my life and say "yep. that's where this behaviour comes from."

so - i think there's a lot of overlap between trauma and autistic traits. the brain is very complex! i think the reason for that overlap is maybe as simple as the fact that people with autism and people with trauma are both doing the same thing - developing behaviours to protect themselves or soothe themselves. so - i think it's nice to be able to see a character like peter parker, who may or may not be autistic, but recognise behaviours in him and see yourself in him.

people who go undiagnosed for whatever reason - people who are really good at masking - so good, in fact, that they have no idea they might be on the spectrum - everyone and anyone at all can look at peter parker and recognise themselves. because i think we discredit the thought that every single brain does the same thing! develops certain behaviours in order to survive. every brain has that same software - we've just all been faced with different hardships that we need to overcome, and that's were all the differences come in.

autism is a spectrum, i guess - everyone falls into it to some degree. and i think events in your life probably push you along on it. but i don't know, i didn't study brain science. probably what i'm saying is very stupid and uninformed. of course there's brain chemistry involved. but i know people in my life living with autism and certain events in their life have exacerbated certain behaviours or made coping with it a lot more difficult. so maybe trauma is a catalyst.