#spider haters are something else
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CW - mind-blowing lack of critical thinking skills, spider slander, etc.
what in the HOT HELL is this (blurring out the user cause I'm not here to start drama)
Bored??? the poor thing looks emotionally damaged.
he finally got rescued by the people who abandoned him for months, who he was willing to be tortured and die for, and he had to watch his brother die because of it. not only did he die, but he died in front of him, for him. spider and Lo'ak were the ones holding him up as he bled out (we can't see from the angle, but he also probably held pressure on the exit wound).
he saved his dad (which I won't be discussing why I don't blame him for that, cause I don't care enough) who cared for him more in a couple of months then the Sully's did for him in 16 years. he has no idea what he's supposed to do, what's expected of him. he feels out of place in what should be his family. he's never been included in family life with them and now he's at the funeral of his brother. the women who almost killed him literally 5 feet away.
he looks like he's dissociating, numb, cause I don't know, he's a kid who just want through a shit ton of traumatizing events back to back. he looks hesitant because he knows one wrong move, one ounce of perceived disrespect could get him killed.
he looks like a traumatized 16 years old reacting to his brothers death. cut him some slack. there is so much going through his head, he's just floating through the motions.
if you think he's being disrespectful, check yourself, cause that's genuinely terrifying.
#spider haters are something else#like this is embarrassing#'bored'?#please get a life#he looks like hes 5 seconds away from having a breakdown#he looks like hes trying to hold it all back cause he feels like it isnt his place to mourn#hes showing every display if emotional trauma. neglect. and mental shutdown in the book and you think he looks 'bored'#if you truly think that#please never interact with a single greiving/traumatized person ever again#cause I havent been through hald the shit he has and thats still what I look like when I grieve#disbelief. numb. somewhere else.#thats just how some people cope#dear god#I have little hope for people some times#avatar spider socorro#miles spider socorro#miles socorro#spider socorro#avatar spider#spider avatar#avatar 2 spoilers#avatar 2#avatar the way of water#he'd be acting like this regardless of neteyams death#he literally went through SO much trauma#so of course he looks like absolute shit at HIS BROTHERS FUNERAL#its the nail in the coffin for his mental health
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I think after her time at the spider society gwen can be very creepy at times, but like doesn't realize it or register it well.
Like she's gwen stacy. The cursed lover. The doomed girl. She is the face of thousands of corpses. The face of thousands of what ifs. A bittersweet dream. A constant longing.
Most of the time when people look at her they don't see her they see someone else. Her simply existing turns the entire society into a haunted house. She's a ghost, she's better off invisible and while I don't think it's intentional she gets pushed to the side a lot by most people I think Miguel, Jess and Peter might be the exception in this concept but even then its gets complicated due to her connection with Miles and eventually this kinda starts rubbing off in an unsettling way.
Gwen is implied to be very high ranking in the society. Jess calls her "her star pupil" and Lyla warned Gwen about the spot before Hobie and Pavitr. And Miguel's "You knew better, Gwen !" She justs seems to be a part of Miguel's gang of higher ups with Peter B and Jess and all that and considering the fact that she's been there for just a few months that's saying something.
I think Gwen took a lot of training and missions to prove herself, and maybe Miguel sent her on more missions to distract her from Miles and stuff. Hell he might have trained her along with Jessica at times which considering how stern they can be I wouldn't be suprised if this rubbed off on gwen who didn't really have anyone else besides Peter and Hobie. Like she has been Spider Woman more than gwen stacy at this point.
Speaking of Spider Woman, I think it's a good time to bring up how gwen's mental state gets fucked up around her identity as a superhero and how it plays into my idea of her being creepy thing. Because like Spider Woman is litteraly considered a murderer in her dimension and isn't very liked. And while yes its true that in most universes Spider Man has its haters. It's way worse in Gwen's dimension like in the comics she gets shocked when people thank her kinda bad. She has supporters but sadly the people who call her a monster are the most vocal. Like even her dad saw Spider Woman that way and even after finding out who she was still pulled a gun at her face so yeah.
Gwen already blames herself for Peter's death and general public opinion doesn't really help with leaving that guilt behind. She internalizes those things. So I think that do her deep internal feelings Gwen might be at times more ruthless and violent than your typical spider hero which can already be shocking especially in contrast to how graceful she can be as spider woman . I don't think she wants to be. But i think its just the internal intrusive thought "No matter what I do I am a monster why pull back ?" And with her whole canon event I think she might be prone to being reckless and throwing herself at danger and being the one to make the biggest sacrifice because hey she is already fated to die.
So yeah I think that at times when the stakes are high Gwen is one of the scariest spiders when she snaps. Like the treatment she received and internalized kinda jumps out and its not pretty at all. And even just in context of her not being in a mission i still think she can be cryptid looking because she kinda acts like she's invisible and just avoids being noticed due to all the peters around.
Like just imagine her beat up with a broken mask and all you see are her cold eyes and its weird because its almost like you have a dead person staring at you and in some ways that's exactly what it is. Or her accidentally scaring people because she's so quiet that they don't see her coming.
Just her looking like a dead girl walking and yeah maybe in a way she is but...it just looks to real and unsettling.
One last thing about this, Miles notices and hates every second of it. In fact I think all of her close friends hate it.
#angel speaks#spider man#spiderman into the spiderverse#spiderman#spider man into the spider verse#spider gwen#ghost spider#gwen stacy#across the spiderverse#ghostflower#miles morales#spider punk#hobie brown#spider man across the spider verse#spiderman itsv#itsv#angel's headcanons#angel's hcs#spiderman atsv#astv#into the spider verse#astv headcanon#gwen stacy headcanons#spiderman across the spiderverse#gwiles#just imagine Pavitr calling miles like hum your girlfriend is being scary again and miles being like fuck#Actually i think for the spider band its just so...jaring to them especially because they know Gwen and see her for who she is#to them shes just this big cool ballerina punk dork who likes to make others smile and is very affectionate#and then they see this haunted ass dissociation and ghostly dead eye stare shit and are like what the fuck
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Margo, Miles, and Gwen's hateration -
Something I noticed about rewatching this scene
Y'all wanna see some REAL hater behavior. Get into this -
The scene starts with Hobie and Gwen happily discussing their anomalies. They're strolling along and joking with each other for the most part
Then, Miles runs into Margo-
Originally, Margo looks genuinely annoyed. But when she sees Miles face, her expression changes instantly.
We see Margo and Miles' Spider senses trigger - which is INTERESTING. As before this moment, Miles sense has not been triggered by anyone else.
Pavitr didn't garner this response. Neither did Hobie, despite Hobie catching Miles off guard. Even when Gwen is standing above Miles, he hears her voice before feeling her there.
Margo is posing no threat to Miles whatsoever, but she's the only new Spider-person who sets of his senses. Maybe it's touch activated - but Margo is an Avatar. Although Miles can touch her, I don't think her Spider-senses would've been triggered by someone new touching her avatar. Since it's technically not 'her' and there's no need. So maybe there's something at play here.
They share the two lines together, and Miles is obviously amused by her joke.
Then the camera cuts to Gwen for the first time -
Suddenly she's like 'actually can we hurry this up?' - What's the rush, Gwen? We JUST got here, girl.
Miles doesn't respond to Gwen, instead continuing to talk to Margo.
Margo explains her situation to Miles, showing him a glimpse of her back home (she didn't have to do that, but she did which was sweet.)
Miles expresses sympathy to Margo. And when we see him, look at Gwen's face:
In this frame, the Go-Home Machine isn't active yet, Gwen is looking at Miles here, and she looks upset.
Girl, all they did was say what's up and explain why she's glowing blue. But, we do see their Spider-senses - which begs the question: Can other Spider-people sense when other Spider-people are sensing something even if they aren't sensing it themselves?
Or basically: Did Gwen know their Spider-senses were going off upon meeting? Maybe so.
But Gwen already seems uncomfortable with their interactions, directly from the beginning.
This doesn't last for long - When the Go-Home Machine is activated, Gwen looks noticeably more happy.
[hiiiiiiiii, Hobie :3]
Now that their interaction is over, Gwen is a lot more at ease. Once Miles and Hobie start discussing the machine at what it does, the expression fades.
It's only when Miles and Margo get close to each other or look each other in the eye that the behavior returns.
UMMMMMMM - Is that some HATERATION???? IN THIS DANCERY????
You pressed and distressed cause my man Miles got RIZZ? Cause he was feeling her? Because Margo is 3008 and you're so 2000-and-late? Hm.
I rest my case.
In short - Margo and Miles is cute or whatever I be shipping it tho. Gwen is clearly being a hater from minute uno. And she needs to collect herself because God don't like ugly.
Miles and Gwen are cute too tho I mean that, but sis this is messy
Anyway here's a photo of Hobie. You're welcome for the photo of Hobie.
Bye.
#if you don't like it argue with the wall#Margo Kess#Gwen Stacy#Miles Morales#ATSV#across the spiderverse#across the spider verse#atsv analysis#spiderman#spider-man#spider gwen#spidergwen#spider byte#cyberflower
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Spiderman’s Biggest Fan | Jaime Reyes part 3
summary: Jaime Reyes is the biggest spiderman fan. His girlfriend on the other hand is Spiderman's biggest hater.
pairings: Jaime Reyes x Spiderman! FemReader
a/n: Part 3 baby! Hope you guys are enjoying this little series. There’s going to be one more part. I hope you guys enjoy it. Wrote this in my literature class.
warning: English isn’t my main language. Angsty and kinda sad. Scenes taken out of No Way Home. Not edited
[MASTERLIST]
part one. part two part four part five.
Timing was never right when it came to Y/n’s life. Uncle Ben’s death, getting bit by the radioactive spider in the beginning of her relationship, Attempting to protect Palmera as she was surviving her teenage years. She finally wanted to scream to the world, well her world that she was Spiderman. But maybe the odds weren’t in her favor, maybe it was better if he didn’t know she was Spiderman. What he didn’t know couldn’t kill him. It was hard sometimes to understand what was good about being Spiderman. Don’t get her wrong she didn’t hate it but recently she wasn’t the biggest fan. But there was something positive about being Spiderman and keeping it a secret. Everyone was safe. Safe from danger and all the villains Palmera had to offer, but now with Doc Ock outside of her apartment she hesitated on what was actually safe for her family. No one besides the Justice League and Milagro knew her identity. She had made it her job to be as discreet as possible making it impossible to trace Spiderman to her and her family. Aunt Marisol was the only thing she had left of the family. She couldn’t lose her. Y/n wasn’t going to lose her.
Y/n snapped back to reality noticing who Jaime held onto both of her hands searching for her gaze to calm her down. Before Milagro could even speak again Y/n got up from the bed taking Jaime by the hand and Milagro by the arm. She led them both as quickly as possible into their safe room, Marisol made in case any emergency would’ve happened. Ever since Uncle Ben died due to a robbery her aunt had become paranoid with the villains in Palmera city. Spiderman eased Marisol nerves, making her grateful for her doing patrol. Y/n never really thought it was important to have that, but now she was thankful of her Aunt’s paranoia.
Y/n rushed the Reyes siblings into the room noticing that everyone else was sitting inside panic filling their faces. As she paced back and forth trying to think what was best for them, Y/n looked towards the door and scanned the room once again, her eyes bumping into Jaime.
“Get inside Jaime. It’s not safe outside” She responded seriously, not wanting to be questioned right now. Right wasn’t the time for the family to find out about her secret identity but it also wasn’t the time for Jaime to get all protective. Marisol could be dead right now for all they know.
“Get inside? Are you insane, Y/n! A literal murderer has your aunt and you want me to go inside, While you are there doing what, talking sense into him? Are you hearing yourself right now? I’m not letting you go. This isn’t a prick from your job. It’s a guy that could kill you just by blinking. ” Jaime replied, taking her by the arm. Y/n glared at him sternly.
“I’m not asking for your input on my decision, Jaime. Now stay inside. ” Y/n responded using her super strength to push Jaime in the room locking the door behind her. She could hear Jaime pounding on the door, but it was useless, he wasn’t able to break it down.
“Y/n! Please open the door before you do something stupid. You are going to get yourself hurt!” Jaime yelled, still banging on the door. Y/n slipped on her suit that was hidden behind one of the bases as she heard Jaime’s bickering.
“I’ll be back! I can’t let anything happen to Aunt Marisol.” she said against the door before running towards the kitchen where she could see the broken windows. She slipped her body outside of their apartment searching around in an attempt to see her.
On the other side of the door, Jaime continued to break the security door but he wasn’t able to do a thing. His family looked around in confusion, noticing how Khaji Da was nowhere to be found.
“Khaji, I really need you right now.” Jaime replied, resting his forehead on the door stopping his constant banging, noticing the blood dripping from his knuckles.
Jaime, Y/n is going to be fine. Follow her orders and stay here.
Jaime felt his body drag against the door as he hid his face in his hands desperate tears threatening to spill out of his eyes. Milagros slowly walked towards him, sitting by his side.
“We are safe here, don’t worry. Nothing bad is going to happen, I bet there’s a superhero on their way soon. Y/n and Marisol will be okay. ” Milagro replied, trying to ease the tension in the dark room.
“I am the superhero Milly! I can’t wait here if I know that Marisol and Y/n are outside with a maniac.”
Y/n climbed the tall building as fast as she could, finally reaching the top. She looked around desperately trying to find Doc Oc but she wasn’t lucky, her view being blocked by smoke coming all around making it quite impossible for her to see. She turned around in her spot trying to discover what was going on as she felt her spider senses tingling. Before she could even process what was going to happen she felt herself being pushed towards the hard ceiling. She looked up to see the familiar pair of eyes looking at her. Y/n tried fighting back but the hold he had on her was strong. He was getting powerful.
“Look who finally decided to show up. I thought Mister Spiderman has gotten big for Palmera City, I see. Forgot about his little friends in Palmera. I was starting to miss you terribly.” Green Goblin yelled as Y/n attempted to swing a punch but failed miserably. Goblin laughed as she struggled under his touch.
“I was taking a break from your bullshit. Might I add that I personally didn’t miss it at all” Y/n muttered moving side to side. Her suit scanned Goblin in an attempt to see how he had gotten so powerful the past two weeks. Her eyes wide as Karen told her the information.
Target has upgraded his suit and he made more contributions to his DNA. Making him at least eighty percent stronger than before. I believe you should request for backup.
Y/n rolled her eyes as she muttered a no towards Karen, noticing how she had Batman and Blue Beetle on speed dial.
“What a pity. I wished we got a visit from the bat, to make things a little bit more interesting than having you around. It’s too easy to win a fight and now thanks to my new upgrades you can’t even fight back. What a shame. I think that your Justice league card should be revoked. They have you fighting the Joker when you aren’t even capable of getting out of my grip. Has Metropolis rubbed on you?” Green Goblin yelled at Y/n as she moved her body attempting to get out of his touch.
“Whatever this is. You don’t have to involve that citizen. This is between the two of us.” Y/n's voice changed as the artificial intelligence from her suit made her voice sound more “masculine”.
“Oh you mean your little aunty? Let me tell you she isn’t just a normal citizen. She is attached to you so that means it is a perfect way to get to you and might I add you are good at covering your identity couldn’t find anything aside the fact that she was your aunt. Marisol is a beaut don’t you think? What a shame she has to die. Maybe I could’ve been your new uncle Ben.” And with those words slipping out of Goblins mouth Y/n shoot her spider webs hitting a pipe in front of her while flipping the bodies making her have a hold on the villain in front of her.
As she slammed through a few floors she could hear Green Goblin laughing as she went down floor by floor. Her anger took over, not even feeling the bricks scrapping her body. Y/n stopped looking down at the man as she heard her aunt yelling spiderman. She quickly looked up, noticing that Doc oc was near but Aunt Marisol was nowhere to be found. They were messing with her and it was working.
Before she could shoot her webs to go to the other villain, Green Goblin took her by the waist throwing her against the crystal door smashing them. Y/n ran as fast trying to avoid another hit or even more damage to her neighbors apartment. As she caught her breath, Green Goblin clapped slowly taunting her. As he stood a few steps away from her, he laughed looking at her directly.
“Strong enough to have it all, L/n?” He asked and before he could make the next move. Y/n shoot her webs taking a piece of the door that flew off and slamming it into him. Before It could even hit him, Green Goblin broke it.
“Or too weak to take it” He continued as Y/n got up trying to swing a punch but Green Goblin quickly caught it, throwing her to the other side of the long hallway. Y/n could feel her body start to weaken as she heard her name come out of his mouth. Green Goblin smashes Y/n through a window but Y/n quickly fires webs and pulls herself back inside only to be flung through another window, out onto the balcony. Green Goblin pounces onto Y/n. As she lets out a whimper in pain trying to hit him with hands falling miserably she webs the balcony above to flip himself on top of Green Goblin smashing him down to the balcony below.
“Oh no you don’t!” Y/n tries to web herself away from him. Goblin grabs Y/n’s leg and throws her through a window.
She limped towards him as she felt her mask breaking. Leaving part of her face visible. Green Goblin smirks at her excitedly as he sees her features
“Always thought you were a dude but now your shitty fighting skills make sense” He responded laughing as his laugh echoed through her ears. She ran towards him pushing him against all the floors of the apartment complex. When they reached the first floor, Y/n took her mask off, taking the man by his suit as she spit her blood on him.
“I want you to see how well a girl beats your ass” She responded slamming him against the floor. As every hit got stronger, he laughed harder, messing with her head.
‘Did you forget who’s in control here? Kill me and your little miss aunt Marisol is dead. What’s it going to be, Y/n. ” He replied, smirking at her. Y/n slowly turned around hearing footsteps behind her. She felt her eyes shut in pain as she noticed Marisol’s body from afar.
“Go! Please Marisol, run! Marisol please save yourself” As she hears her getting closer. Goblin gripped on her neck laughing maniacally.
“Your weakness, L/n , is morality. It’s choking you! Can’t you feel it?” Green Goblin gripped harder as she struggled to breath.
“Marisol…Please go” Y/n replied, barely audible as she noticed Green Goblins familiar booms coming towards her at full speed. Marisol, noticing her niece's face, froze dead in her tracks not believing what seeing but didn't notice the bomb that was coming at full speed towards her. Y/n let go of the green goblins body running as fast as she could towards Marisol but before she could get a step closer her body flew towards the wall as the bomb exploded.
“L/n,L/n , L/n. No good deed goes unpunished. You can thank me later” Green Goblin said as he left. Y/n tried to move her body as pain overtook her body. Pushing past the pieces of concrete Y/n slipped her body out of the blocks lipping towards Marisol. With all of her strength she pushed the concrete off Marisol's body trying to see what conditions she was in. Y/n leaned in trying to clean the blood off her face as she noticed the small smile on her lips. May tries to get up slowly covered in dust, Y/n slowly caresses her face trying to get the dust out. Y/n clutched her side in pain
“Marisol, Marisol, I’m here” Y/n replied while sending her a pained smile. Marisol got up and pulled her into a tight hug. Y/n could feel her tears welding up. Marisol opens her mouth to talk but before a world could come out her body slowly gave up stumbling back. Y/n quickly catches holding her body close as Marisol mumbles incoherent things as Y/n searches her eyes worriedly.
“Marisol..it’s okay. We are okay, right? You are okay”’ Y/n replied her breathing changing drastically making her feel a wave of anxiety.
“Yeah, got knocked on my ass” Marisol replied softly letting out a light chuckle. Y/n gave her a side smile as she brushed Marisol hair out of her face.
“Yeah, me too.”
“That’s all,” May replied softly, dozing off a little bit. Y/n moved her softly trying to keep her awake.
“I think I broke my ribs” Y/n said trying to gain her attention. Marisol's eyes flutter open watching her wounded side. Y/n clutches to her side wincing as Marisol looks around taking in all the destruction around them.
“I can’t believe that our nosy neighbors haven’t shown up by now. Haven’t they noticed that they don’t have an apartment anymore” Marisol responded, trying to lighten the mood. Y/n looked around noticing the mess she had made. She scrunched up her face in disgust and disappointed in herself.
“This is all my fault, Marisol. I never wanted to get you in danger, that’s why I never told you. I wanted to keep you safe and I couldn’t even do that'' Y/n replied, warm tears falling onto her cheeks. Marisol shook her head holding her hand for comfort.
“This isn’t your fault, Y/n. You are a hero! You did the right thing. That’s amazing.Now it makes so much sense the fact that you “outgrew” your asthma ” She said grinning. Y/n let out a teary laugh as she shook her head. Marisol was at the verge of death and she still managed to make jokes.
“Still, Marisol. It’s not my responsibility, I should be like a normal adult working studying, not risking my family's life!” She exclaimed as she squeezed Marisol's hand.
“No, no, no, Y/n. You listen to me, You have a gift. You have power, and with great power, there must also come great responsibility.” Marisol replied seriously as Y/n nodded slowly, understanding her words.
“Yeah, I know,” She said softly as she watched Marisol get up slowly.
“Let’s get the hell out of here. We need to check on the Reyes” Marisol said as she got up slowly. As Marisol got up she noticed the blood on her hands, she felt her body falling to the ground. Y/n quickly leans over her inspecting her body.
“What happened? Are you okay” Y/n replied, inspecting her body all over. She knew something bad was going to happen.
“I’m okay” Marisol replied softly trying not to worry, Y/n. Marisol closed her eyes for a few minutes before fluttering them open to look at her niece.
“Yeah, you’re okay. What happened, Aunt Marisol?” Y/n replied as she slowly inspected her, not wanting her to panic.
“Just have to catch.. Just need to… catch my breath.” Marisol replied, taking deep breaths. As she closed her eyes.
“Okay, well catch your breath. I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere. We are going to take our time, you catch your breath, and then we’ll take you to a doctor okay” Y/n said as her eyes dropped noticing Marisol's side. She slowly touches it, noticing her hands covered in blood making her heart stop
“Are you okay, mi niña?” Marisol replied softly, rubbing her cheek. Y/n starts yelling loudly for help desperately.
“Somebody help! I need an ambulance, please! Someone help me. Please” She replied resting her hand on top of mays looking around for help.
“What happened?” Marisol replied, already losing consciousness of what was happening. Y/n looked at her with teary eyes.She quickly rubs her tears away and looks at her.
“Nothing happened. You’re okay..You're okay aunt Marisol” Y/n replied trying to convince Marisol and herself.
“I just need to catch my breath. I need a minute” May said as she closed her eyes this time longer than the last. Y/n watched quietly not wanting to let her go.
“I’m right here. I’m right here, Aunt Marisol…We are okay, it’s just you and me.It’s always been you and me” She whispered, holding onto her hand. Y/n how Marisol smiled softly but her face fell when she noticed her hand let go of her cheek.
“Marisol? Marisol? Will you look at me? Marisol. Please Marisol…Marisol, please wake up and talk to me! Please” Y/n said as she shook her softly every word becoming louder than the next. Her cries became sobs as she tried to get Marisol pulse. Y/n broke down falling on top of her crying into her chest. She could hear from a few blocks away the sirens coming their way. Before she could even have another minute to mourn she heard Karen speak.
Miss L/n, I know this is hard but it’s time to go. They can’t catch you here, I already called for backup.
Y/n let out a sigh as she cleaned her tears turning her back on Marisol not wanting to cry here, it wasn’t the time. Right now she wasn’t Y/n she was Spiderman and Spider had always agreed with the police that “he’ would leave before they got there and this sadly couldn’t be the exception. She felt herself push her body to move to swing her body building to building.
With great power comes great responsibility,even leaving loved ones behind.
part 3
[MASTERLIST]
#jaime reyes x you#jaime reyes x y/n#jaime reyes x reader#jaime reyes#blue beetle x y/n#blue beetle imagines#blue beetle movie#blue beetle#blue beetle x reader#blue beetle 2023#milagro reyes#justice league#dcimagine#dc x reader#dc titans#dcimagines#dc#batman#spiderman#spiderman reader#spiderman x reader#spiderman x bluebeetle#xolo#xolo maridueña#xolo mariduena icons#xolo mariduena imagines#cobra kai#marvel#marvel x dc#reader insert
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short random 141 headcannons, silly/fluff ☄️
ghost 💀;
absolutely hates coffee, avid tea drinker and refuses anything else. a lot of people assume that the cold-hearted killer, simon riley, would hate sugary coffee. but, truth be told, he has a huge sweet tooth that only price knows about, and has to keep him from eating too much.
growing up, he was quiet. a lot of people teased him for being so silent, including his friends, but only in a joking way. he's one of those kids that make friend's easily, just well-behaved in class to avoid stressing out his mother.
acts as if he hates johnny, but after that solo mission soap had, he grew more close to him. didn't like whenever john had to go on a mission without him in fear that he wouldn't return, gradually developed a fear of losing the team - something he'd always had, yet increased further after graves's betrayal.
has a high metabolism. he could eat way over his maintenance calories and not gain anything. he works out in his house during leave, usually eating quick takeaways or frozen meals, rolling his eyes whenever you bring up the state of the apartment. who cares, its not as if he's here most of the time.
soap 🧼;
absolutely loves getting drunk at a club with the team, has to be dragged home by price, him and gaz laughing maniacally at absolutely nothing.
he threw up on ghost afterwards.
because if his flirtatious personality, he's had many girlfriends. they never last long since he doesn't take the relationship's seriousness, still flirting with others as a joke, but offending whoever he's with at the time.
he isn't serious at all, which we've probably gathered from his personality. accidentally laughs at the wrong times, apologise profusely as they snarl at him. definitely gives off the wrong impression and gets embarrassed whenever price mentions it.
johnny knows what he's good at, he doesn't like being insulted by anyone, even as a joke. mention something about him not being as strong as ghost as he's pissed for the rest of the day. somewhat easily jealous, stemmed from when he was a rookie, lean with barely any muscle and constantly teased by others. (heard the last bit from another creator, but i can't remember the user for the life of me.)
gaz 🧢;
doesn't take alcohol very well, especially his hangovers. they're cruel, he has a pounding headache all day and throws up multiple times. laid in bed playing games the entire day, groaning as he feels himself burn up.
is terrified of bugs, absolutely hates spiders. doesn't give a fuck about the spider poem, will scream and crush them with his foot. probably came from when he was a child and got caught in a spiders web, cried to his mum.
definitely has a lot of sisters. they raised him well so he's very respectful in relationships and knows how to treat a lady right. when he was younger, his sister's would beg him to let them use makeup on him, agreeing and getting annoyed when he couldn't wash it off.
definitely youngest child energy.
price 🎣;
when he was a kid, he wanted to be something like a policeman or a firefighter, loves being in charge of stuff.
he's a true gentleman; will hold the door for his wife, giving her a bouquet of flowers whenever he can, kisses her all the time and compliments galore. he's a true fan of cuddling you from behind, sneaking up on you and kissing your neck, complimenting the meal you'd made.
took the 141 fishing, let's just say that it never happened again. it was all peaceful until johnny thought he a turtle, leaning over the lake and falling in. kyle laughed his ass off and simon sighed with disapproval, yet not surprised that he'd managed something like that. price lost a good fish trying to save him from drowning.
loves dogs, not small dogs (chihuahua hater), but big dogs. he loves german shepherds since he works with them, k9s. or a doberman, definitely owned a big dog when he was younger and has baby photos of him on it's back, only laswell saw them.
#cod headcanons#cod mw22#orla speaks#call of duty modern warfare#task force 141 x reader#captain john price#captain price#ghost mw2#simon ghost riley#gaz call of duty#gaz cod#soap mactavish#john soap mactavish#cod modern warfare#cod mw2#modern warefare ii
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rating luxiem and noctyx by how good they would be at taking care of bugs
my name is unit 4402 and i’m typing this on my phone. autocorrect’s suggested emojis are going to go crazy wish me luck
tags: ambiguous relationship, can be read as platonic or romantic, gender neutral reader, fluff, humor, bugs and spiders
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
🖋 Ike Eveland: 4/10
he’s neutral about most bugs. he’ll pick up critters like beetles and caterpillars with his hands and set them outside
gets grossed out by the nastier bugs though. won’t touch ‘em himself, they’re lucky if he can gather himself enough to get a paper and cup. otherwise it’s swatter time with gritted teeth and barely mustered courage
SPIDERS. HOWEVER.
certified spider hater. absolutely terrified of them get out of here!!!
he'll use a swatter, pesticides, everything. but he’s so afraid of how they disappear when he’s not looking
you’ll have to keep an eye on it while he finds the pesticide or vice versa
if he’s unfortunate enough to be the one to kill it you’ll have to hype him up, calm his nerves, and then tell him it’s okay once the deed is done
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🦁 Luca Kaneshiro -100/10
this guy… easily the worst of both units at bug duty. you might just have to take the bullet
he gets sketched out by even the cute ones like butterflies and ladybugs if he looks at them for too long. there’s no way he could even take a moth with a level head
he even reacts to all of them the same. “AAAAH! T-t-there’s a [BUG NAME] in [room name]!”
even so he tries to be nice to them with a cup and paper, or some other method to get them out of his space
unfortunately australian wildlife has prepared him so smaller bugs are still scary but he’ll be a big scared scary mafia boss and take action
and everyone says they’ll leave the house as a joke if they can’t find the spider but it’s luca. there is a solid chance that he will invite you to stay with him in one of the kaneshiro vacation homes for about three days. that’s enough time for the bugs to leave, right?
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👟 Shu Yamino: 10/10
oh! a bug!
is rather delighted at bug!
honestly if it’s a cool bug he might just take a video of it doing its thing and give it a personality!
he has a out-of-sight, out-of-mind philosophy with bugs. he’s fine with just about anything as long as they aren't annoying
harmful pests will get swatted tho ofc
everything else, he’s fine with bringing outside himself without much fanfare
some of them are a little creepy but he tries to rationalize it. they’re just tiny animals and he’s a big strong sorcerer, it’s fine. what are they gonna do, infest him to death?
…he’s going to spray the house down later just to be sure.
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👹 Vox Akuma: 9/10
a wild card. and also VERY emotionally invested in any bugs that come his way whether that’s good or bad
if they manage to sneak up on him he’ll probably yell “WOAH” or curse out of surprise, then figure out whether he should be scared or not
surprisingly fine with the nastiest of them. he actually loves worms, centipedes and similar critters, and he’ll even admire them if they stumble into his territory
“look reader this is me if i were a worm. would you still love me if i was a worm 🥺” “vox please just get that thing outside”
spiders have a 50-50 survival chance. he’ll kill small spiders but bring the big ones outside because the big ones are like full Animals to him and slaughtering animals is not something he can bring himself to do (tiny ones don’t count)
are scorpions bugs? do they count? either way that’s his one objection. he wouldn’t touch them with a ten foot pole if he had the choice, but if you’re really that scared, then he’ll put on a brave face and hide his fear
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🎭 Alban Knox: 2/10
if he’s going to take care of a bug you need to make peace with the fact that he will whine the entire time
not a cute fun whine either. he’ll complain the entire time that it’s gross and nasty and ewww yuck ugh!
and that’s just for beetles and caterpillars
show him a spider or something else just as creepy and he will actually scream
and yell as he fumbles around to take care of it
and yell as he eventually grabs it with his hands (he’s panicking a little too hard to get a tool)
and yell as he tries to open the door and throw it outside
this is assuming he doesn’t find a slipper nearby. if he has a tissue or something he’ll smash the bug over and over until it’s pulverized
and he’ll STILL be yelling while he does that
the job gets done but at what cost
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🐑 Fulgur Ovid: 6/10
he’s not a 6/10 because he dislikes bugs. he’s neutral towards them, not really creeped out by them but not a fan either
he’s a 6/10 because he’s a dick about taking care of them for you
here’s how it usually goes: you summon him to save you from a creepy crawly. he’ll inspect it and go “really, you’re scared of that little thing? look at it closer, it’s just a bug”
and once he quits fooling around he just swipes it up. his fingers are solid steel which allows for Precise Bug Snatching
but he’ll act unsure and go “i think i got it. here, reader, look inside my hand and tell me if you see it”
or even the dreaded move where he pretends he’s bringing the bug closer to you so you have to see it
and THEN once he’s outside he’ll open his hands and go “wait i think i lost it” just to get a rise out of you until he confirms yes, it’s safe and out of the house
if you’re legitimately terrified then he doesn’t even bother with the jokes. just point out the bug and close your eyes, and he’ll be washing his hands while you stare back at a smudge on the wall before you can even get out a sentence
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🔗 Sonny Brisko: 8/10
somehow both a gentle soul and a complete menace
he's very matter-of-fact when you point them out. "it's just a little jumping spider, no big deal ¯\_(ツ)_/¯"
in fact he's almost adorable with how he quietly talks to the bugs and coaxes them to crawl on his hand so he can get them out of your way
and then he prods and begs you to take a picture of the bug bc it's a cool little guy
surprisingly knowledgeable and can identify bugs easily, so once he's got one in his hands he'll show it to you and tell you some facts about it
which is very sweet except for the fact that it's still a nasty bug and you want it out of your face!
he'll lightly tease you over being so scared of a little bug while he takes them outside. and if it's a pest-eater like a spider he'll hide it in a dark corner out of your sight
overall very kind to bugs and thinks they're friendly
which is why it throws you so hard that sometimes after he coos over them he just FUCKING SMASHES THEM IN HIS PALM?
NO HESITATION AT ALL??
WHAT IS HIS PROBLEM???
also when the bug is taken care of he'll sneak behind you and lightly tap his fingers up your arm like a creepy-crawly and then laugh when you get scared. what a shithead
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🔮 Uki Violeta: 15/10
the very essence of "i'm not locked in here with you, you're locked in here with ME"
it's like watching a cat hunt an unaware mouse. he's so quick about it
and he's so good at it too?? he'll find the bug, swat it, and throw the remains away in less than a minute on a good day
doesn't even act like it's a big deal either, he just goes back to what he was doing before you asked for help
he uses tissues or shoes on the big ones like roaches, but anything small, he's surprisingly good at crushing them with his bare hands. this is especially funny when he has acrylics on bc those nails never get dirty nor in the way
spiders get the relocation pass, and he'll insist they stay inside, just out of sight
non-zero chance if you complain about it, he'll go on a lecture about how spiders are how you prevent other pests from invading the house
honestly you only see this side of uki once. the bugs are too scared to show their faces after this stint
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✧. ┊ masterpost ✧. ┊ kofi
#ike eveland x reader#ike eveland#luca kaneshiro#luca kaneshiro x reader#shu yamino#shu yamino x reader#vox akuma#vox akuma x reader#alban knox#alban knox x reader#fulgur ovid x reader#sonny brisko#sonny brisko x reader#uki violeta#uki violeta x reader#noctyx x reader#luxiem x reader#nijisanji en#nijisanji x reader#4402 writes#fulgur ovid#spot the kamioshi is easy af today. had to cut some thoughts from sani's entry to keep it even and it's still the longest
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So the fight is really over...my glorious four armed giant spider is gone. Yuji really was foreshadowing about the slime thingy heh. I'm so happy to see the trio back and together again like you tell me this a year ago this is what was going to happen and I'd just give you a maniacal laugh. But I still don't know how to feel about Sukuna's end like we all knew he was going to die and in perspective it does feels satisfying. Sukuna being ripped apart from Megumi and his little convo with Megumi...yeah dude really is walking contradiction. Always saying he's living to die but actually doesn't want to die. Indirectly answering Kashimo's question. But his end just seems...eh? Like at first Kenjaku's end seemed like that to me too but it made sense later on. Kenjaku came in silence and went like that but Sukuna he was never like Kenjaku or Mahito so his ending being parallel to Mahito didn't really sit right with me and i actually wanted him to get anything but a glorious death but this feels...stale somehow? Idk he's still the same untrue to himself. Wish we could get more of his thought process. Or maybe this was it to show Sukuna's denial became his defeat. I just hoped for more emotionally charged defeat of his..but it's GeGe story I'm happy they're telling it like they want to.
Also Uraume and Hakari was funny too they fought all this time bonded, praised and just dipped. Makes me think if they had a binding vow with Sukuna too? Sorry for all the yap and incoherence. I'm just feeling underwhelmed? Overwhelmed? what are your thoughts regarding this chapter and Suku's end?
"my glorious four armed giant spider is gone" took me out sksksksk he's really just a bug when you think about it lol.
anyway thank you for sending me your ask. I really liked reading your thoughts and how you called suku out for being contradictory and a hypocrite till the very end AS YOU SHOULD THANK YOU!! honestly, this fact alone makes the whole chapter all the more special to me but on this in a sec cause I'm guessing the reaction to his demise is quite... well I guess ppl are not really happy with it..??? I mean some of them probably are and by "some" I mean *cough, cough* the haters *cough, cough* but well... I wouldn't know cause ONE I'm actually (and maybe surprisingly) super pleased and satisfied with this chapter and TWO, I didn't go and check others reaction to it lol I'm planning to keep it that way for now. I'm really not a big fan of twt fandoms spaces in fact I can't stand them... too much negativity and toxicity *shudders*.
so my thoughts... to put it simply, I loved it more than loved it actually. and yeah yeah sure he turned into a slimy lil bug which probably put many people off but hey let's not forget sukuna was basically like a parasite possessing megumi's body, so it makes sense that once peeled off only curse-like residues would remain... but I can understand why some stans didn't like that part. I personally found funny but that's just me lol.
and yeah the final seemed quite underwhelming, but I think that's what makes it so good. I didn't want sukuna's death to be the most interesting thing about his character and well it's not. rather than having a big an "after life" moment like jogo, gojo or kashimo, he spent his last moments with the only person who cared about the human sukuna so stubbornly tried to burry inside him.
I actually found his conclusion to be quite beautiful and moving, cause instead of being looked down upon by yuuji as many stans thought would be the case, he was offered something else entirely. something no one ever gave him - kindness and love. yes, I'm using the "L" word here cause in the end that's what it was... yuuji showed sukuna the true value of love. he accepted him and ask him to live with him despite everything sukuna has put him through. despite all the chaos chaos and distraction he caused him, yuuji still accepted him. he not only showed sukuna genuine empathy and compassion but also recognised that sukuna is really... just like him. when yuuji looked into (blop) sukuna's eyes (my beloved) he could only see himself. he realised that under different circumstances, he could've turned out like sukuna if he didn't have his grandpa by his side. he realised that if he could have turned out like sukuna then sukuna could've turned out like him too, that if only sukuna had someone who loved him and guided him and accepted him, he most likely wouldn't have turned into a curse, which is another thing I loved and cry about in this chapter.
sukuna only saw himself as a curse :")). he acknowledged yuuji and finally called him by his full name but in the end he still only think of himself as a "curse" not as human, not even as a god or king of curses but only a curse :")).
the reason why I loved just how "underwhelming" his death felt like is because instead of framing and defining his entire character by his his final moments, gege made the rest of his moments in the manga stand out EVEN MORE. instead of having a moment of reflection and introspection in this chapter as well as in chapter 265 or 266... and oh well entire shinjiku showdown basically, his character started to trip and reveal just how contradictory he is. sukuna claimed he was satisfied with his life and doesn't care about dying, he also claimed he doesn't care about ideals and even despised them, he also claimed he doesn't feel anything and he doesn't need others to satisfy him and then you have all those small moments when you realise "wait, that is not right" and you look back and rethink everything. sukuna does feel and he NEEDS others to satisfy him, cause that's what his entire "philosophy" hinges on.
"Every human has a unique and fleeting taste... which makes devouring them a perfect way to pass time until death"
he DID get excited when maki became the first person to ever give him a role
This is a first. You're the only one who ever forced a role upon me. (while grinning like a maniac)
and then megumi lied his bs out in the open and revealed that sukuna was afraid of death too, despite believing otherwise
Even something like you fears death...
this only goes to show that sukuna convinced himself (and many other readers) that he is not human, that he is above that, that he doesn't care about the things they do... but if even "something like him" feared death, got excited to be given a role, praised and encouraged others for their talents and skills and connected to them in one way another only to "pass time" or knew about flowers and caught a crayfish then that means... he must be human too.
and even if sukuna and the rest of the world couldn't and didn't want to accept that, there was one person who did. someone sukuna hurt the most, someone who saw him at his worst and at his weakest. someone who in the end still decided to show him love, because he belived sukuna is still worthy of love, despite everyone and maybe even sukuna himself, believing that he no longer is worthy of such thing.
"Even if no one else will accept you... I'll live with you" "Itadori Yuuji... don't underestimate me. I'm... a "curse"!
#god what a phenomenal chapter... absolutely loved it#also APOLOGIES FOR LATE REPLY ANON!!!#asks#jjk 268#ryomen sukuna#itadori yuuji
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controversial opinion but I don’t think that in terms of rivalries and feuds marc is that interesting. like if you exclude valentino you’re left with who? dovi? they did have exciting on track battles for sure but let’s face it dovi was never really a huge title threat. and their off track relationship as a result had no tension. but who else?
qualified agreement in that, yes, I also don't think marc's slate of rivalries/feuds is all that satisfying... I just don't feel like this is entirely marc's *fault*. I mean, first off, valentino is definitely a positive outlier in this regard in that he was just working overtime in terms of coming up with compelling feuds. he's not quite the spiders georg of fantastic feuds, but he's not far off either. secondly, when compared to the other aliens + dovi... marc is at a very obvious disadvantage in that those guys were all direct peers who already had a lot of history with each other. dovi made fourteen year old jorge cry, twenty year old casey threw a temper tantrum when dani beat him, teenage jorge was judgemental of casey's fan engagement skills, and obviously there's the jorge/dani of it all. even the bits of that diagram that never had any major beef will have at least had a little bit of sizzling tension, like dovi's wariness of dani as a teammate. marc was always going to be on the back foot here - he really could have done with a pol esparagaro-type figure to crack on and become a big deal in the premier class. you need interpersonal history for a strong rivalry, and marc was always working at a deficit by having to start from scratch
this is the thing, right: imagine a world in which marc is born a few years earlier. in your hearts, do you seriously believe he would not have had a major sustained feud with at least one of jorge, dani, casey or dovi? I'm thinking he gets at least 2-3 in all honesty. casey if they ever ended up teammates is practically a given - and even without that you'd have to say it's a near certainty that it would've gone very badly. I mean good lord, casey vs the marc marquez towing addiction feels like it inevitably ends in casey physically assaulting marc on-track at least once. jorge had feuds with literally everyone, so that one also feels guaranteed. dani was a way less prickly character by the time marc got to the premier class but used to be a notoriously difficult teammate - so those two at honda and, again, odds are pretty good you get something going. dovi's a bit more marginal in that it kinda depends on what their respective competitive situations look like - plus dovi was generally more of a single issue jorge lorenzo hater - but you'd still expect it to be at least a little bit snarkier. so yeah, just a straightforward counterfactual - but it should still demonstrate that the picture is more complicated than 'marc marquez sucks at feuds'. there's clearly more going on here
so I kinda feel like there's two interrelated questions here, right. let's break it down:
how high quality are marc's rivalries/feuds?
to what extent can the quality or lack thereof of marc's rivalries/feuds be attributed to him, versus circumstantial factors that were outside of his control?
now with the first question, again, I do agree that right now in his career... marc could be doing better. he's got one major feud - and admittedly it's a doozy, but it's against a guy who has five major feuds to his name. if you look at that without context then it's quite easy to conclude valentino is putting in all the hard work, with little to no contribution from marc needed. apart from that... well, his other big rivalry on paper is with dovi - which, yeah, that one is lacking in narrative tension. the main issue with that rivalry isn't actually the lack of drama per se, it's that it just doesn't go anywhere. it's a bunch of strong on-track battles with no real arc to connect them, just ends up being completely static past the conclusion of 2017. I never got the sense that the two of them felt massively differently towards each other after 2019 than they had a couple years earlier... that's what kills it imo, like you need something to be happening in a rivalry. you need the two parties to have a substantial impact on each other! you can vaguely make that case for 2017 if you really want to push it - but it's just not enough, it only lasts for a few months, and it's lacking in the build-up and pay-off department. there's no real shift in their dynamic, not in terms of their relationship or their title fights or even their on-track battles... their first big battle is dovi beating marc in austria and their last big battle is dovi beating marc in austria, so you can't even say marc's learned how to deal with the red bull ring's final corner better. the only thing that's substantially changed is that marc knows he'll win the title anyway. look how far we've come
then there's marc's rivalry with dani, interesting on paper and they did have a reasonable amount of tension, but obviously you'd be hard-pressed to mention it in the same sentence as any of the real top tier rivalries. it's just over too soon, marc wins it too conclusively, and they don't have a single memorable on-track battle to their name beyond 'that time marc cut dani's sensor cable'. the jorge rivalry isn't terrible - you've got a few strong-to-iconic on-track battles like jerez + silverstone 2013, mugello + silverstone 2014, mugello 2016, austria 2018... but yeah, the tone is really quite muted and reserved by jorge's standards. there's not a massive amount of development in that relationship post-2013, and it just sort of fizzles out over the years. again, really becomes more of a collection of moments than an actual cohesive narrative arc - like something like austria 2018 is a fun throwback, you've got jorge being mad at marc over the aragon 2018 crash that essentially ended his season, but it also doesn't really lead to anything bigger. maybe there was a teensy bit of hope the honda teammate situation would reawaken that rivalry (me and casey both grabbing the popcorn, mind), but jorge just wasn't competitive enough for that to go anywhere
so, who's fault is this? is marc just mid at starting feuds? why hasn't he started more feuds with a bunch of people who showed they were perfectly capable of starting feuds with each other? why hasn't he given the people more to work with? who can we blame for this sorry state of affairs?
now, honestly, I reckon most of the issues with marc's track record can be put down to circumstance and poor timing. I already said that you'd expect marc to be doing way better if he'd been born early enough to run into the aliens in their primes. this is for several reasons. the first reason is that he managed to miss casey entirely - who on paper has to be the alien you'd expect marc to get on the worst. casey has the most rigid belief structure surrounding riding standards and acceptable levels of aggression, he's the least likely to be okay with marc's 'vicious on-track smiling off it' schtick, he had a multi-year vendetta against the exact sort of behaviour in practise and qualifying marc has made a habit of throughout his career, he is a strong believer in the kind of teammate cooperation in development marc memorably eschewed at honda, he would have also found marc's flavour of media games distasteful at best, he's highly sensitive to anything that could be construed as an attack on him... and marc in turn would have been aware of all this and actively enjoyed pissing casey off. in some respects they feel like an even worse match than valentino and casey. marc and casey on the 'alien compatible personalities quiz' score negative points. so that's just poor timing - marc barely missed out on him! you've removed the most irascible alien from the picture, the guy who had the highest quantity of low level beef with the entire paddock... it's already taken away such a major obvious feud opportunity from marc that you have to be a bit more lenient when judging his record
beyond that, let's turn to two interrelated reasons for why marc didn't get more narrative juice out of his other rivalries with that generation: a) the competitive landscape, and b) how the aliens themselves changed over time. the biggest and most important factor is (a). my general stance with feuds is that it's really really hard to start a feud in year one of a rivalry - you simply need more build-up than that. this is incidentally also 100% true of valentino's feuds. biaggi and valentino already despised each other going into 2001 (incidentally the lack of a narrative arc is why that one's also not a top tier rivalry for me), sete and valentino needed 2003 to set up 2004, valentino and casey were more or less fine in 2007 and ditto with jorge and valentino in 2008 and even mostly 2009. you can likewise point to valentino and marc already having enough significant interactions in 2013-14 to set up the volatility of their on-track encounters in the first half of 2015. for a counterexample, check out valentino and nicky hayden - who were title rivals in 2006 and 2006 alone, and managed to get through that entire year with minimal drama and their relationship emerging entirely unscathed. if hayden had still been more competitive after that year, maybe something would have changed... but as it stands, you do need time to build up the kind of interpersonal history for things to get nasty in a meaningful way. see also btw how dani and valentino's rivalry never got properly nasty, despite some build up in 2006
compare and contrast with marc's situation. 2013 is actually perfectly good set up... except then it's immediately followed by a dud of a season, where marc is dominant enough in the first half to make the title fight essentially a non-starter. after 2013, dani really isn't a competitive threat to marc anymore outside of isolated patches, and marc so effectively wrests control away from that team that he doesn't really need to do anything more dramatic. (also a question of the personalities involved - if you paired up jorge with marc as teammates in 2014, that situation immediately looks a lot more volatile.) now, okay, you might query the lack of tension between marc and jorge in 2015... but marc was just too focused on valentino that year, not least because that's the guy he was actually fighting on-track. and he nukes himself out of that title fight fairly early on, so the interpersonal valentino stuff kinda becomes the main source of competitive stakes for him at certain times in that season. 2016 the title fight fizzles out around assen, and then jorge's off into the competitive wilderness himself at first ducati then honda. and with dovi, you've got the obvious problem is that the seasons are in the wrong order. dovi was a serious title threat... but only in the first year of that rivalry, aka 2017. and only for part of that season! at the start of the year, it was really vinales marc was focused on - hence badgering him in pre-season testing - and it really took quite a while for marc and dovi to establish themselves as the two title contenders. as a season, it most closely resembles the chaos of 2006 - which, again, didn't lead to any drama between valentino and hayden in part because it just wasn't as focused on two protagonists. after that, dovi has a poor start to 2018, and by 2019 marc's just flattening everyone. it's basically like if you switched 2003 and 2004 for sete/valentino (though obviously sete's 2003 is a fair bit more competitive than dovi's 2018)... you needed the proper title fight when they were already established rivals. real take - valentino in marc's situation most likely doesn't start a feud with dovi in 2017-19 for the simple reason that he just does not need to. valentino's feuds typically come from some sense of competitive necessity, or at the very least convenience... casey is the strongest example here, where valentino behaves as closely as he ever has to a rational actor and only really escalates that feud when it makes perfect sense to do so. with dovi, given how little threat he posed in 2018-19 and especially presuming there's not a preexisting interpersonal relationship that can be twisted by the injection of competitive stakes (as there was with sete)... why bother?
this, to me, is really the main explanation for prime!marc's feud record. he runs into versions of the aliens that all eventually drop off competitively, and doesn't have to face the same level from them as a collective as he would have in say 2008-09. he doesn't have to face casey. and his sete equivalent is just not as much of a competitive threat as sete was beyond the first year of that rivalry. feuds do need something to get them going - and generally, competing against the same guy across multiple seasons, feeling genuinely threatened by them, is one of the most common and important preconditions. the second alien-related factor is how the aliens themselves had changed. again, we're missing casey... and then with jorge and dani, well, they'd definitely mellowed from where they were at c. 2006-08. there's a few reasons for this. firstly, they grew up. just a little. it's been known to happen. secondly, you do have to mention the sic factor... discussed a bit here and I don't really want to go into too much depth about it, but obviously it does make a difference that jorge and especially dani had gone through this experience where they'd essentially been feuding with another rider who then died. inevitably, that will have played into how they reacted to marc. thirdly, this is a topic for another post but... jorge and dani (and casey) had become pretty determined in 2011-12 not to give the media and fans what they were so desperately yearning for (drama) - in an act of generational solidarity against the concept of beef. it was a bit of a reaction against how they felt constantly misinterpreted by fans and media, as well as essentially being quite contrarian about being incessantly called 'boring' all the time... and a fuck you to valentino and his supporters in the fanbase + media specifically by having things be more civil between the three of them than they had been in times past (plus how they rejected any sort of hard riding). all this means marc has the misfortune to run into versions of the aliens who are actually very much trying not to start feuds. I mean, even valentino wasn't really out to start feuds, it just sort of ended up happening... it's way harder to start a feud with 2013!jorge than it is with 2008!jorge - and the two major jorge feuds that still flare up past 2013 are one where there's already significant history (like, say, jorge thinking dovi was already attempting to 'undermine his morale' when they were both teenagers)
the other situational factor is the time marc has spent in the competitive wilderness. marc was 27 when his arm injury happened. as a point of comparison, that's the age valentino was in 2006 - by which point he has had two major feuds plus a couple more minor ones. in a way, right, you can say marc wasn't doing that badly at that stage... marc is now 31, aka valentino's age in 2010. by then, valentino had added two more major feuds to his collection; he's quite productive in his late twenties you have to say. but marc obviously hasn't been in a situation where he's going to be getting embroiled in great rivalries... the only title he'd been fighting for before this year was champion of crashes. you're less likely to start feuds when you're in the competitive wilderness - there's just not any point and marc quite frankly had better things to worry about. the thing about 2019 is that at the time, people did feel like marc might have been setting up some juicy rivalries... the most common names talked about back then were rinsy and especially fabio. now, as it turned out, rinsy was outshone by his teammate in the one year suzuki was in the title fight, so that probably wouldn't have become a big thing regardless of marc's situation - but fabio... well, I don't know if I think marc would've started feuding with him necessarily, but you'd at least hope for some flavour of interesting rivalry. admittedly, you were giving marc a bit of an unfairly difficult task here, given the age gap equivalent rival for valentino is casey. again, look me in the eyes and tell me you think fabio quartararo isn't harder to start a feud with than casey stoner. starting a feud with casey is easy mode. give me fifteen minutes trapped with him in a conveniently broken lift and I bet you I could make him my lifelong enemy
still, crucially we never got to see that play out. and without the injury, marc would've already had several years to fight pecco and even jorge martin on equal-ish terms, which again just isn't an opportunity he's had until this year. those were some of his prime feud-starting years stolen from him... though also, speaking of casey vs fabio - I mean, that's the other thing, isn't it. whether you want to blame it on this generation of rider personalities or overly professionalised upbringing or the social media climate or whatever, the general willingness to feud with other riders has massively declined in the paddock. even insulting your fellow riders is pretty rare. casey thought the media and fans were too harsh to him back in the day, to put it mildly, but in a lot of ways it'd be far worse for him now. (incidentally, y'know the whole mir apologising to marc thing - can you imagine casey doing that? the correct answer is no, obviously not, how is that even a question, are you insane.) and even that generation was seen as a milder assortment of characters than valentino's lot, who in turn were at times considered oddly friendly by the guys who came before them. there are no max biaggi's in today's motogp. sete failing to threaten to punch valentino after jerez 2005 was considered disappointingly polite by a lot of the media. It Was A Different Time. it's not just that marc's feud rate is flagging - it's the case for everyone, which is how you get acosta offering to try and spice things up between the current title contenders. marc does need someone to feud with, and it doesn't help if they're all being so awfully conflict-averse
so, that's the marc defence case. marc just hasn't had enough plausible opportunities to start proper feuds, and you can't really judge him by how situational factors keep conspiring against him on that front. now, I think that is probably the main reason why it's been quite so dire for him... but still, it's also not quite satisfying to pretend like marc and valentino are quite literally identical in that regard, that they would have ended up with exactly the same profile of feuds in each other's positions. admittedly I don't really believe valentino would have had a radically different number of feuds in marc's career timeline... jorge is if anything the most proactive of the lot, often not even really needing much competitive justification to escalate a feud. still, you do suspect that there are differences in marc's approach that would always make him a little less likely to come up with these high quality feuds. one factor is motivation - valentino generally needs to get more creative in order to motivate himself to win than marc does, cf how much more flighty he gets when things are going well for him. valentino has long had a reputation for using his rivals to motivate himself, building them up as enemies and so on. there's rivals for which this is more the case than others, and it's a bit more complicated than that... but in general, valentino really benefits from these feuds, and is more reliant on them than marc is. marc can also use his rivals to motivate himself, cf 'his record at misano'. the most egregious example is 2019, where he comes in off the back of two back-to-back last lap defeats, hops onto the rear tyres of the yamaha's for much of that weekend until eventually he has that spat with valentino in qualifying that conveniently gives him the fire to reverse the recent trend and snatch victory away from poor fabio on the last lap. that's probably the most proactive he's been about it, and it's the kind of enterprising spirit I'm always happy to see in my riders. but in general... he does also just seem pretty content to reel off victories without any added source of motivation. valentino needs to jump through a few more hoops to get himself going, which happen to be very feud-inducing hoops. marc is far more capable of showing up and just doing the business
there's a related factor here that's a bit more nebulous and it's just... how they go about winning, both races and titles. now, okay, obviously they're both aggressive riders - marc notably so for the entirety of his career, while valentino got more aggressive after leaving honda and having to compensate for a bike disadvantage (having already been a menace in the lower classes). generally marc is the more aggressive rider, with valentino a little happier to pick and choose his moments and only escalating when he really feels he has to. similar peaks, lower baseline of aggression. that being said, valentino relied on one-on-one duels a lot more in winning his titles than marc did. marc's biggest strengths in winning his titles was a consistent and relentless pace advantage over the opposition, where he was able to score higher on his bad days than they were on theirs. his wins were generally more likely to be dominant than valentino's were (though it is admittedly quite hard to tell at times whether valentino was really riding anywhere close to 100% in his honda days) - and the momentum swings in his title fights tend to be because his opponents had made errors. valentino kinda needed the 1 vs 1 thing to be clicking for him to win his titles, because that's what his whole game is built on. 2004 plays out completely differently if valentino doesn't win any number of close duels - obviously welkom, but perhaps even more importantly the mugello/catalunya/assen stretch of the season he entered with a points deficit and left the new championship leader (with his relationship with sete rather worse for wear to boot). 2008 is obviously the poster child for this, as to a slighter lesser extent is 2009, which has been covered elsewhere on this blog and will be again in the near future... marc, by contrast, kinda thrives on losing close duels against his title rivals that are worrying to them because he was so close to victory at his weaker tracks. you can cite various mugello and austria and qatar races here... again, has been discussed elsewhere, but the point is that it's just a bigger part of valentino's game than it is for marc. and if so much in terms of stakes and championship momentum is attached to these single races... well, that's actually pretty much the perfect trigger point for starting feuds. by the latter half of his prime, marc kinda knew he could get away with losing some of these fights, especially against dovi (vs how he allegedly was 'angry' after the rins defeat and really relished the triumphalism of beating poor sweet fabio). valentino could extremely not afford to lose some of these duels if he wanted to win the title, and often ended up souring his relationships with his competitors in the process of winning. again, laguna 2008 is the poster child here - valentino's behaviour in this race is far more significant in determining that relationship's trajectory than him being 'mildly chilly' towards casey for the preceding one and a half years
the last factor kinda feels like the most obvious one: valentino often was just more proactive in his shit stirring, especially off-track. marc tends to do a lot of his psychological warfare on the track, which is discussed in more detail in the mind games post but is obviously reflected in stuff like stalking specific riders endlessly in practise and qualifying. valentino does plenty of on-track psychological warfare and he certainly wasn't averse to the odd towing shenanigans (just ask casey), but he was also more prepared to just fire a few shots in the media. he's capable of more subtlety than he's sometimes given credit for, had a pretty good feel for escalation... which can actually be quite frustrating, because at times you have to take his rivals at their word when they say he was being mean about them in the media - not always easy to find actual examples of that! he'd also get creative about how to exert pressure on his rivals - for which one of the more obvious examples would be getting proxies like his crew chief jb to do the mudslinging on his behalf. still, it shouldn't be too controversial to say he's more likely to attack his rivals directly in the media than marc is - who ramps up the subtlety all the way and usually just gestures vaguely in the direction of saying something that could be a snide remark... but isn't really direct enough to actually be a clear attack. now, if you set baby casey or baby jorge on the case, notoriously sensitive characters that they were, there'd still be a decent chance they take offence at the sort of thing marc says about his rivals... but as it stands, marc clearly prefers this less obvious approach, and this current lot isn't going to call him out on it. and yes, obviously sepang 2015 and the repercussions thereof will have strengthened marc's conservatism in this regard, a wish to avoid any further drama paired with a desire to show that valentino was the problem in that particular rivalry by avoiding any further feuds. and if marc's less likely to be proactive in media mudslinging and is also less likely to find himself in the sort of race that burns interpersonal relationships... well, it's not surprising he'd be less predisposed to feuds, is it
there's some other stuff we could bring in here, like valentino's tendency to play an active role in narrativising his career that fortunately just happens to also makes feuds more likely (topic for another post currently in the drafts). you could talk about how marc is less sensitive than jorge or especially casey, how he's more likely to brush off criticisms and then commit himself to on-track revenge. how he has a lot of low level beef with other riders that has just never quite been given the space or opportunity to grow into a proper feud. how jorge is more impulsive and is likelier to start fights immediately in response to a perceived slight, versus marc who is far likelier to bottle things up. in general, though, I still put most of the blame on circumstance. while valentino is definitely the frontrunner in the feuding department, there's no single correct way to go about starting your feuds - and jorge, for instance, has really showcased an alternative approach that can also yield some very positive results. marc should have been given more opportunities to figure out his own way to start up multiple narratively complex rivalries/feuds. he has some traits that are well-suited to a strong profile of rivalries and feuds, from his on-track aggression to his tendency to play games in the media to his ruthlessness to his ability to take defeats personally and feel threatened by rivals. the towing thing. his behaviour as a teammate. how uncompromising his approach towards riding is. there's a lot of strong stuff there, it just hasn't been given the chance to shine as much as you'd like
all that being said... he still has time! there's no reason to believe next year won't give us what we hope for in that regard, as long as that's a reasonably competitive title fight. and I don't think it'd be fair to pecco and marc to attribute any heated rivalry between them completely or even mostly on valentino - they have enough reasons unrelated to him to desperately want to beat each other. if anything, the valentino factor is unfortunately more likely to make them both a bit more restrained in that regard, wary of the drama of it all... but here's hoping! and they've already built up a bit of history now, some significant on-track encounters - I'd say that in an ideal world they've done more than enough prep work for them to get to feud territory next year. the other obvious name is pedro, a charmingly genre aware child with what a rather pronounced scepticism towards marc specifically, who feels like he would not only be up for a feud with marc but has quite possibly already game-planned what that feud would look like. hey, you never know, maybe I will successfully barter away my soul to finally make yamaha competitive again... let's see if we can try to get that depressed frenchie interested in some proper rivalries once he's back in the game. hopefully, marc still has a few competitive years ahead of him - and hopefully, he'll also get some help from the other side to get something narratively compelling going. I believe in him! remember, valentino pissed away two entire years in his early thirties but still managed to start his most long-lasting and emotionally devastating feud at the age of 36. isn't that inspiring? it's never too late to burn bridges. I for one hope marc still has something rancid in store for us
#OPTIMISM WINS#the biggest feud of 2017-19 was actually me vs jorge lorenzo after he definitively killed any hope of a title fight at catalunya 2019#in retrospect. yes. that was very funny. but at the time i was considerably less amused#you can have high level feuding during periods of domination but only if it's been previously set up imo#like again the 2019 equivalent is 2005 which obviously DOES have extremely rancid vibes but only because 2004 was as close as it was#//#brr brr#batsplat responds#alien tag#low key very funny that dani casey dovi and jorge were all born in a two year stretch. all got to grow up judging each other#the literal definition of 'wow these people are so weird. thank god i'm the normal one'#i do actually need to write that jorge/casey post because juxtaposing their thoughts about each other as teenagers -#- just makes me laugh every time. like it's not even a BAD vibe as it is a completely discordant one. paints such a funny picture
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SPOILERS for Across the Spiderverse, ganna rant about Gwen’s character and the unnecessary hate she gets. 💀
After finally seeing Spiderverse, yeah…I don’t trust Gwen haters. Like holy shit, I have seen SO many people get on her ass. And I get it. She lied to Miles, she let him down, she screwed up. I think what just ticks me off is that people today just love making everything so fucking black and white. This film isn’t one note, it’s complex. You feel for BOTH sides, not just Miles. I never thought some people would need to have it spelled out but….Miles wasn’t the only character going through something. Gwen does too, and this film explores that, like it legit makes me wonder if people just…turned their brains off whenever the film focused on her, which was legit most of the first half.
Not only was she still carrying the weight of her friend’s death while also feeling guilt of leaving him, but her own father is a cop who is out to get spider woman, believing that she is a criminal who let Peter die. It isn’t easy on Gwen, the opening scene of her trying to get lost in playing the drums and shutting down her band mates shows that she wants to avoid her feelings. Miles was the ONLY friend she had, she didn’t make any other close friends other than Peter. She felt alone, she felt trapped, and once her identity was revealed to her father, the moment he tries to arrest her is her breaking point, it’s why she joined Miguel and the others. She had nowhere to go, she felt like she couldn’t go back and was utterly alone until the spider crew accepted her.
When it comes to Gwen and some of the other characters, some of y’all need to see their perspective. They all lost someone they loved, someone they cared about, and Miguel comes to them and tells them that their trauma happened for a reason. It made them stronger, it made them move forward and created who they are today. They all felt alone at one point, only to realize that they weren’t. They also know that you can’t save everyone, and wether Miguel’s point of view is morally corrupt or not, everyone felt they were doing what was right.
In Gwen’s case, she WANTED to see Miles, and she DID see Miles. She wanted to hang out with him so badly but couldn’t, and you eventually see her guilt for not telling Miles the full story, how he wasn’t supposed to be here, how his dad is going to die and he can’t do anything about it. She felt like she had no choice, Jessica was strict on her (for good reason) and Gwen knew she had a job to do, she like everyone else wanted to save the multiverse and protect everyone, even if it meant breaking Miles, and his dad’s death. I don’t want to make it sound like I’m excusing Gwen, but I find it so funny that people beg for complex and flawed characters, and then when we actually get them, they’re targeted for making mistakes. Cause yeah, god forbid a teenage girl feels alone, doesn’t know what to do, and makes a mistake.
And what’s even more insulting is that Gwen actually REALIZED her mistake. She knows she fucked up, she KNOWS she hurt Miles and let him down, her line of “we’re supposed to be the good guys”- is important because that’s her realizing just how far Miguel took it to a bad level. We all see how utterly broken she is when Miles tells her he should have never come, and broke her web off. In the end, she switches sides and decides to GO AFTER Miles. That’s her making a choice, realizing she was wrong and doing the right thing. Gwen is still a good person guys. She cares for Miles, she’s not a snake or malicious. She’s a troubled teen who wants to be a hero, but was split between two sides, along with the weight on her back regarding her father and her friend. This movie begs the question of saving one person or making sacrifices to safe others. You understand BOTH sides even if Miguel went about it the wrong way.
Speaking of Miguel, the last thing I want to talk about is the obvious sexism going on, cause I feel like that mostly stems from why so many people hate Gwen, cause MAN do people lose brain cells when they’re horny. Like…let me get this straight, y’all get on Gwen, a teenage girl btw….call her a bitch, a snake who doesn’t deserve Miles and a horrible person, but praise a grown man who ridiculed, chased down, clawed, and body slammed a 15 year old kid, calling him a mistake over and over again all because he wanted to save his father???? Yeah okay, if you’re someone who doesn’t like Gwen, fine…but if you hate on her and praise Miguel, a dude who needs therapy and beefed with a 15 year old……then you’re just sexist…I don’t know what to tell you. Same goes for Jessica Drew. Like so many people are quick to say Miguel is complex and that they get where he’s coming from, but when it’s Gwen or Jessica?? They’re just bitches apparently. 🫤
So yeah, regardless of if you like her character or not, Gwen deserves better fr. I for one can’t wait for the next film and to see her mend her relationship with Miles, because they do genuinely have a good relationship, they just need to fix it. That’s all I wanted to say…oh, and one more thing, the way the animators on the movie got treated was NOT okay and the film better be delayed. No way in hell is it coming out next year. Do better Sony/Phil Lord ect, treat your animators right. Kay bye.
#spider Gwen#gwen stacy#across the spider verse spoilers#across the spiderverse#spider man#Gwen Stacy deserves better#miles molares#miguel o'hara#spider man: across the spider verse#rant#character analysis#unrelated#animation#sony animation#spiderverse spoilers#Spiderverse
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Like at the end of avatar they didn't adopt him, I SAW HIM
When the film ended, I swore, that they had adopted spider, because they made me understand that - and I just can't believe that spider and the sully family for some is a headcanon, it's Canon for me - because only I see it, let's go back to the film ok? We saw the relationship between spider and his brothers, it's more than obvious the brotherly brotherly relationship between all of us, again, I thought we had all seen him, jake seems to take some care of him, he's still negligent and doesn't welcome him as a son, but it's like something real - just listen to me, spider CARES and protects his brothers, the care is mutual, and then this kiri that seems to strictly see spider as a member of his family, I saw that, let's go to the end of the movie. Jake asks spider if it's ok, hugs him, hugs lo'ak, correct me, but I heard one: we lost a son and we won another, it's that -, how is it that everyone only saw spider saving quaritch and, they became blind to everything else, come back, then I saw that and I felt calm, I said: q well, now they will take care of him, then they took him to the beach and jake claimed him part of his family and asked uturu for him, that was very clear true? And then I followed everything else and I left the theater happy, crying for my dead boyfriend, but happy because my other boy now had a family, I left happy and quiet assuming he is already an adopted child or in the process, but then I leave the theater, time passes and everyone seems to ignore the existence of spider or bunk be (yes, THIS si for u, fanfics of "Sully Kids" AND MY KID SPIDER???) How, did we see the same movie?? And now guiza you don't know, but a few months ago, when the movie came out, everyone hated spider, there was literally nothing about him on social networks, while the other characters were slowly filling up, spider had nothing, no pictures on pinterest, no memes, no and Dits, and the fanfics were like or, and in 2 months they became like 4, in wattpad there are still practically none, etc, etc, nothing, believe me, I looked for days after the release, months passed for the boy's fans to start to make presence and I could be happy, alone, for spider's haters, we saw the same movie???????
#miles spider socorro#spider socorro#spider atwow#spider sully#spider>>>>>>#avatar 2#avatar spider#neteyam sully#atwow loak#kiri avatar
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Book Review 17 – A Half-Built Garden by Ruthanna Emrys
Okay, I have officially finally read a solarpunk thing I unreservedly enjoyed! Which means my opinion about all the other examples of the genre is no longer entirely just me being a hater.
...I joke (mostly), but I was sold this as basically ‘Psalm for the Wild Built but with actual conflict and an attempt to seriously think through its ideas”, and it absolutely lived up to that! Plus it’s a fun read with a few actually meaty characters, too. I mean, I do have complaints. Which I will go on about below. At length. But in the loving way, not the ‘actively resent having read this’ way. As proof of this, I offer the fact that this thing is well over two three four thousand words long, and for readability I’m breaking it into subheadings.
Summary
Anyway, the basics are that it’s the late 21st century, and the world’s been through a bit of a ringer in terms of climate change-induced disaster. At some point in the previous generation, a lot of political-economic power was seized by the Dandelion Networks, cyber-eco-anarchist collectives organized around the watersheds of major river networks, and dedicated to trying to unfuck the planet some. The actual plot revolves around First Contact, as an alien ship lands in the Chesapeake, offering evacuation and relocation to what they fully expect to be the desperate and grateful inhabitants of a dying planet. This leads to some awkwardness, given the Networks civilizational commitment to the mission of restoring the earth and lack of interest in eventually pulling it apart to make a dyson sphere, and the paternalistic (well, maternalistic) condescension of a decent chunk of the aliens about whether humans are competent to make that choice. Made even more tense because representatives of the vestigial United States and the much-reduced-but-still-important former globe-spanning megacorporations are much more enthusiastic about what the aliens have to offer.
So yeah, book full of cultural confusion, high stakes diplomacy, intrigue and ideology. I adored it.
General Discussion
The aliens were fun, in that they were absolutely and entirely nonhumanoid – two species, and neither of them mammalian or bipedal, and one of them not even having anything we’d really recognize as a face. It made the descriptions of conversations and physical interactions pretty funny to visualize at points, honestly; though it did also take me something like a hundred pages to get a real proper image of what both of the species in question actually looked like.
It was kind of interesting how so much effort was spent on making the alien’s appearance so, well, alien, but everything else worked on maximally convenient space opera rules? They can breathe the same air as humans with only minimal discomfort (and vice versa), and even enjoy each other’s food. Plus the story starts with the aliens having already created translation software that does its job perfectly with zero meaningful confusion or plot-relavent loss of meaning. Which all makes sense in terms of making the plot works, but still – no matter how important sharing food is as a thematic expression of shared intimacy and cultural exchange, still wounds my suspension of disbelief in this First Contact story when the 2 meter furry tree-spider can even digest human cuisine, let alone enjoy it.
The alien’s culture was both fascinating and kind of frustrating – I did love how the whole common sense of ‘of course a species will advance enough to leave their homeworld behind, or else die on it’ was so bone deep that most of them kind of floundered trying to actually try and convince someone who didn’t already agree with them. And likewise our protagonist and her compatriots were basically totally unable to make a convincing argument that didn’t take the value of Earth and a natural ecosystem as a given. That felt very true to life.
But frustrating because, like – the aliens have a sort of matriarchal social organization where nursing mothers (especially/specifically of one of the two species?) are taken as the natural authority figures in the extended cross-species households that seem to be the atomic units of economic production and political participation. But there’s a massive amount of gestured at nuances and references to wider institutions that are just never followed up on, which I’d normally consider just generally good worldbuilding except for that the fact that writing the Xenology 101 handbook should literally be the main character’s job here. Third act of the book, and she’s still never gotten around to asking for the precise mechanics of how authority is divided among the crew of the interstellar spaceship/first contact team/extended family she’s been dealing with!
The Dandelion Networks have to be by far the most thought out ‘solarpunk’ society I’ve ever really seen in a story, though that’s admittedly an incredibly low bar. I’ve still got some qualms and quibbles and bits that annoyed me about the portrayal, but insofar as it’s kind of unfair to expect every sci fi book to come free with an extra utopian manifesto, they did pass the sniff test as seeming, well, real? If not exactly as a socio-political/economic structure, then at least as a culture and civilization with its own traditions and minor hangups and celebrations and day-to-day routines. I also very much do appreciate the fact that even if they’re clearly portrayed as much, much better than the alternatives, they’re not an outright utopia.
The fact that, legally speaking, the United States government never gave up any territory or jurisdiction, it just chose of its own accord to merge and massively expand several national parks and subcontract their administration to these revolutionary anarchist networks with absolutely zero coercion involved nosiree, was also great. Or made me laugh, anyway.
The vestigial USA – here also our only representative of the entire class of still-extant nation states – gets comparatively little attention compared to the other players involved. On the one hand that’s kind of a shame because it’s legitimately unclear the degree to its the government and not the watershed networks putting on delusions on grandeur (which, to be clear, I kind of loved). And I did adore the fact that NASA...well, it didn’t actually do a coup, but just selectively read the legislation defining its responsibilities to just jump in and start handling everything about First Contact negotiations without really bothering to wait for permission first. But on the other hand they do very much seem the most normal – which is to say archaic, from the rest of the setting’s perspective, with Congress and the federal bureaucracy being characterized as ineffectual deadlocked quagmires where ideas go to die. Also the only people for whom monogamous long-term relationships or ‘most people being cis’ seems to be at all the norm, which I think makes them the closest thing the book has to on-screen social conservatives.
The Corps – the remnants of the formerly globe-spanning and world-burning megacorporations, now in the main restricted to the artificial island city-states they fled to when the world really started going to shit and the revolutions started – are the actual main ideological foils to the Dandelion Networks presented through by the book. And – look, I’ll be honest, the culture and politics feels like a natural (if incredibly optimistic) outgrowth of certain trends in modern American culture. The Corpos feel like an alien civilization invented whole cloth for a space opera because it seemed interesting and fun. Which, to be clear, they absolutely are – but, like, this book theoretically takes place sixty years in the future. ‘Specifically the corporate oligarchs and their most loyal guards, technicians and toadies have in one post-revolutionary-exile generation developed a stable entirely presentation based normatively genderfluid 7-gender system” seems like, how to put this, a bit of a stretch?
Still, they’re definitely fun, and I do really appreciate that Emrys gave them a real ideology and mythology instead of just making them self-consciously evil (a carefully nurtured bitterness that the Watershed Networks and their carbon budgets and sustainability mandates essentially stole the future from them, combined with a real belief in meritocracy and just deserts). Though, like, even moreso than the USA, I’m legitimately not sure the degree to which Judy and the other Watersheders common sense about them being slowly decaying relics losing people with every year is supposed to be taken as correct? Because, like, city-states in the middle of the ocean capable of sustaining themselves in the style we’ve seen implies either vast hinterlands or sufficient productivity to import all the raw materials they need from abroad in exchange for finished goods or access to truly immense amounts of energy or some combination of all three, and none of those really scream ‘archaic relic’. All to say that I might have come out viewing the Watershed Networks as more full of triumphalism and groupthink than was intended – though honestly if so, I like them better that way. It’s an entirely natural flaw for their system to create, honestly. Look at reddit.
Speaking of flaws the protagonist’s society had – I found it immensely charming how Judy was just, so utterly and completely terrible at being a spy? On a cinemasins level you do have to wonder how the corps weren’t already ruling the world again if the Network’s best and brightest are all this easy to entrap and blackmail, but on a thematic level it does work as emphasizing how the networks, well, work through the wisdom of crowds and constructive debate, and trying to fly off on your own in little self-appointed conspiracies rarely ends well for anyone involved.
The Eponymous Garden
The question of what humanity is for – whether we have a destiny to reach for the stars, or if there’s something vital about the planet earth (about a living ecology, about one’s ancestral home writ large, about having a place in a natural order) – is, if not the book’s overriding theme, certainly the one it spends the most time consciously thinking about. (I mean, it’s literally the title). And the book really does try to make the conflict genuinely difficult and nuanced; our heroine is a voracious and vitriolic partisan of the Earth-is-special side of things, but the text pretty clearly doesn’t agree with her about that as much as it does some of her other positions.
The entire debate was honestly fairly reminiscent of some debates you see floating around Tumblr every so often. The Ringers have created a curated toy ecology to keep their habitats pleasant and livable, and that done see their abandoned homeworlds as containing nothing really worth mourning in fact they’ve literally pulled them apart as raw materials for their orbital habitats and megaengineering projects. Judy views the idea of humanity doing the same – even to Mercury or Mars, let alone Earth - as both horrifying and, well, not quite profane (her Judaism is definitely an important part of her character, but she never directly uses theology as explanation for her politics) but certainly ontologically, fundamentally wrong.
The Ringer’s teleology is pretty simple – technological advancement gives a species the ability to care for itself and free itself from the various tyrannies of nature, at the cost of expending scarce resources on a dozen different fronts and eventually leaving their planet uninhabitable. The only question is whether they’ll escape the world or die with it. Humanity is the first species they’ve encountered that hadn’t already gone with option B. More fundamentally – and here’s where the human corporates jump enthusiastically on board – leaving the planet behind means refusing the limits of ecology, and to an extent of scarcity. Populations in the trillions, a dyson swarm, mega-engineering projects with millennia-long schedules. Not to mention the whole romance of endless new horizons, novelty and exploration and a consciously arranged world.
Which is all, of course, exactly the dream the Watershed Networks spent their revolution fighting against. The Chesapeake Network is from every indication a very nice place to live, but it’s also very much defined by the necessary scarcity that comes with trying to live sustainably, and in harmony with the horrible damaged biome you’re also in the middle of a massive, civilizational infrastructure project to restore. International travel and imported goods strictly limited by carbon budget, international communication strictly limited by the need to limit potential infection vectors for malware, apparent societally normative coparenting and/or polyamory as a labour-saving thing – abstracted away from the specifics of space travel, it’s basically the perennial degrowth argument on here.
Though as far as space colonization qua space colonization goes, it’s kind of fascinating to compare Garden’s take on it to how it’s presented in Terra Ignota? Which is to say, Ada Palmer presents spreading through space as a heroic endeavour – something worth doing for its own sake, because it is in some sense humanity’s purpose, but a great and arduous project that will strain every available resource and lead to a lot of impoverishment and scarcity for the doing. Which comes amusingly close to mirroring exactly how Emrys characterizes staying on Earth.
A few trillion aliens willing to handle the capital expenditure for relocation and infrastructure do change the math a bit, I suppose.
...and It’s Gardeners
Which is to say, the Watershed Networks. As I said above, they’re clearly intended to be something of a flawed or incomplete utopia, generally heroic and praiseworthy but with major blindspots and issues. I’ve got qualms about what those issues are and their severity, but I’ll save that for the petty bitching section below. Besides, given that they’re decently thought out and detailed, it’s honestly more interesting to examine them as an incomplete utopia and the principles underlying them.
So, the networks are a high tech cybernetically-organized federation of green anarchists, organized around the watershed of a major river and with the civilizational mission to protect and restore that watershed’s ecology; coordination between watershed’s seems to be limited to small scale trade or else matters which affect multiple watersheds.
‘High tech’ isn’t a joke, either – augmented reality interfaces seem totally normative and almost necessary given their government, not to mention the ten thousand different monitoring systems used to keep track of the status of each part of the whole ‘unfuck the ecosystem’ project. Robotic drones and prosthetic limbs with full haptic feedback were both totally unremarkable – anprims they really aren’t.
They govern themselves by – okay, I said ‘by reddit’ above and that’s mostly a joke. But like, only mostly. By infinetly flowering nested chats and discussion fora dedicated to any topic of public interest, to which any citizen can contribute to the debate or propose action items through that AR interface, with ones weight on any given issue being determined by the algorithm’s approximation of the community’s trust in your wisdom and expertise on topics like what’s being discussed (‘Utopia’ means taking as read that this works).
Beyond just weighting and being an automod, the Dandelion algorithm also encode the Network’s values, amplifying the voices that live up to them and de-emphasizing those that don’t. And most of all, they act as phantom votes representing the Watershed’s nonhuman constituents, boosting suggestions and action items based on the interests of the wider ecology, wildlife, etc.(again, accepting that this works is basically the price of admission).
So far so Eclipse Phase-but-green. But there’s a couple specifically interesting things about the whole setup that I do want to focus on.
First, the whole theory of politics and decision making underlying the Networks (and the book) is something like a wholehearted belief in the wisdom of crowds – that everyone involved cooperating and trying to come up with a crowdsourced solution through moderated debate will lead to better ideas and better solutions than a small group of experts or conspirators or operatives. And the book does actually commit to this – basically every time anyone from the Watershed goes off on their own and assumes they need to make an important decision on their own/in a small group it blows up right in their face.
You know the one line from Men In Black? ‘A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals”? The book basically commits to the exact opposite of that.
More minor but it did just strike me as interesting – Judy (and, I think, other networers) never refer to each other by their job title, and in fact object to it. Judy is not an environment engineer, she just does some environmental engineering work, as well as jam making, gardening, child-raising, and a dozen other things. On the one hand, almost everything about the life of someone in the networks pretty much has to be pretty legible – basically everything seems to be public, the community is tight knit and expected to host each other as needed, everyone wears pronoun pins, the entire labour-allocation and weighting system must require immense amounts of information on each individual participant – but on the other, none of them are ever reducable down to their jobs or roles. Reminds me of that one Heinlein quote, honestly. ‘Specialization is for insects’ and all that.
Cultural Exchange
I don’t really have much to say here, but it’s a prominent enough theme I’d feel remiss if I didn’t mention it, so. Aside from the high politics and idealogue-ing, Garden is really concerned with what the worm’s-eye-view of cultural exchange following First Contact might look like, and just demonstrating different ways that culture can be shared.
Which is why I really can’t be too annoyed at the implications of both species of Ringers and humans being able to both consume and appreciate each others cuisine – Emrys has clearly some of those ultra-viral tumblr posts about how sacred sharing food is, and the sharing of meals and ways of eating is a pretty key way the book both characterizes cultures (e.g. corporate culture ‘feast food’ being a way of showing off artifice and competing to make novel designs its impossible to guess the taste of is just one more way they’re shown to be obsessed with appearances and artificiality and general decadence) and demonstrates trust or sharing between them.
Beyond meals (or as part of them), there’s also religion and ritual used for much the same purpose. And sex, of course – it takes like a week and a half for Judy to go from being introduced to intelligent alien life to asking one of them if he wants to try a threesome – and, probably more importantly, family and children. There’s a whole gimmick about how Ringer matriarchs always bring their children with them to negotiations as (among other things, roughly) a show of good faith, and expect humans to do the same. The book seems slightly unsure of itself about how much it thinks this is a good idea (also about Ringer family structure/matriarchal authority more broadly, to a less degree), but the different species of children bonding and playing together while their parents is pretty clearly shown as an unambiguous good.
And finally-
Complaining
Because if I’m going to think about literally any piece of media for this long, I end up with annoyances I need to vent about. So! In no particular order, narrative issues, worldbuilding issues, and random nitpicking.
The whole final arc of the plot – basically everything after they leave Earth – felt incredibly rushed for how much it was trying to introduce. Now, getting a little glimpse of how the Ringers lived and worked and bickered was absolutely necessary, but there just was not enough wordcount devoted to it to really be anything more than a glimpse. The politiking just felt broad and clumsy, and the way Ringer politics worked a bit half-baked. Beyond which, there’s all these hints of interesting power dynamics and inequalities among the Ringers but then the book never really expands on or does anything with them (beyond, like, spending half a page introducing the concept of pronouns pins and...okay ‘being trans’ is wrong because one of the species’ seems to be entirely genderfluid as a rule, but determining ones own gender? To them. And then never following up on that either!).
But beyond all that, there’s just the more significant issue is just that the entire climactic confrontation is resolved by...a tertiary character whose spoken on a single-digit number of pages being overcome by conscience and admitting the whole corporate conspiracy and sabotage which is responsible for every wrong thing the Networks have done so far. Not even under prodding or courting from the protagonists, either – if that one fashion designer hadn’t been a slightly more important secondary character’s sibling and just been left with the luggage, the Networks would have been fucked. Instead, the one bit of testimony sways the assembled aliens and saves the day. Just felt too neat and easy and unearned.
More annoying still is the specifics of how the Networks failings are portrayed. Now, as I said above, they aren’t portrayed as perfect, but the book does a thing I really, truly despise in fictional worldbuilding (in large part because of how common it is in nonfiction too) where essentially every thing the networkers get wrong and every stupid mistake they make is the result of nefarious Outside Agitators corrupting and sabotaging the system – like the evil corporate spies and hackers are literally responsible for everything wrong with Networker politics, and if they hadn’t sabotaged the Dandelion Network there’s no way people would ever get anything wrong. Puts a bad taste in my mouth, like the people who never shut up about any stupid mistake done by ‘their’ side being a false flag.
Beyond that, like – okay, so if I’m going to take the book on its own terms I just have to accept that this anarchist network is capable of coordinating labour on a vast and detailed enough scale to handle ecological restoration efforts that are halfway to terraforming at this point, and capable of mustering and deploying coercive force with enough strength to actually cow and keep in line numerous polities with more centralized social organizations that historically really do win at that sort of thing. Sure, okay, not exactly fair to ask Emrys to Solve Anarchism, even if I’d have really loved some acknowledgement of where exactly all the metal and rare earths for all these robots and prosthetic and IT infrastructure is coming from (sure, carbon budgets, but like – where’s the Chesepeak’s sacrifice zone that got designated to hold all the mining and heavy industry?).
More importantly, though, I can still wish the book had dug into the guts of the system and, like, pproblematized it a bit? The fact that public debate and the weighting of people’s votes is controlled by these opaque algorithms seems like it requires investing your programmers (not even just programmers, specifically the ones working to maintain this incredibly intricate system) incredible amounts of trust and power they could abuse without people really noticing! Or take the fact that political debate is structured and influenced by the consciously determined ethical and political principles built into the system; okay, so the system’s a full generation old now, yes? Is there no controversy, no generational divide, no resentment among the younger cohort about their speech and opinions being weighed according to their parents ideals? The whole setup seems like it’s built to exemplify that one Marx quote, traditions of the dead weighing like a nightmare on the brains of the living &c. There are multi generational households, and the family is clearly an important socio-economic unit, with some being much more prestigious and influential than others, so how does inheritance work in this anarchist utopia? There’s some interesting drama to dig into, here!
Beyond that, everyone in the Networks is just too...nice? Like, the final epilogue involves the corporae programmer who literally created the malware that almost destroyed everything – and did get people killed – defecting. And absolutely no one holds any sort of grudge? She’s just given a house and told to start helping when she can? Which I found pretty hard to swallow on like three or four different levels (‘do they just keep spare houses lying around to give away whenever someone needs’, not least. If you’re deeply concerned with living sustainably and in harmony with nature, immigration and land/resource use are actually major issues that are going to run into a lot of resource constraints, especially if you’re trying to rewild or diversify what had been industrial farmland).
And significantly less important but – the fact that everyone who appeared on screen (anarchists, corporate executives, federal bureaucrats, random Network programmers and partygoers and corpro interns and-) is basically a queer feminist with only a vague historical understanding of being oppressed on the basis of gender or sexuality (and the only exception is one of Judy’s coparents being raised in an oppressive ‘Purist’ cult he eventually escaped from) is probably necessary to keep all sides at least potentially sympathetic to the expected audience, but it did hurt the verisimilitude of the worldbuilding some, for me. Though hey, maybe that’s just me being unduly pessimistic, fuck knows there’s been plenty of progress on those fronts between 1960 and now, so hey!
Anyway yes, good read!
#book review#a half built garden#ruthanna emrys#sff#solarpunk#sorry this is so long#and that I didn't bother really editing
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20 Questions for Fic Writers
Tagged by @sassyandclassy94, thank you so much for tagging me in this kind of stuff!
How many works do you have on AO3? Five
What's your total AO3 word count? 135,767
What fandoms do you write for? Marvel (specifically Spider-Man), Lockwood and Co, and The Boys in the Boat. I do have a 1917 fic on there, but I'm not currently working on it
Top five fics by kudos?Proof That Harley Keener Has A Heart - 381 The Injury of Finally Knowing You - 234 Star-Crossed in the Worst Way - 135 All I've Ever Known - 78 When Our Fingers Touch, I Feel My Way Back Home - 4 (I weep)
Do you respond to comments? I want to and I'm trying to get better at responding! A lot of times, I just get distracted lol
What is the fic you wrote with the angriest ending? I've actually never finished a fic (yikes) but I predict it'll probably be my WWII coxstroke AU, just because of war and stuff. As much as I want the ending to be happy (and a lot of it will), I want to be realistic to a soldier's mindset at the end of a grisly war.
What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Again, never finished a fic, but I think it'll be my Locklyle fic. They need a happy ending and I'm also still mourning the cancellation of Lockwood and Co., so yeah. Probably them.
Do you get hate on fics? Strangely, I haven't. Maybe not enough people have read them, but I've never really gotten a mean comment. Shoutout to what haters I might have though, love you guys
Do you write smut? Maaaaaaaaaaaaybe. I've never really written any sexual content until recently. I'll probably write some sexual content but not like full on smut. I don't think I'd be good at it lol
Craziest crossover? I've never written one!
Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not to my knowledge, thank goodness
Have you ever had a fic translated? No, but I'm absolutely open to it!
Have you ever co-written a fic before? No, but I think it'd be fun! Especially now that I'm mutuals with a lot of fic writers in the tbitb fandom
All time favorite ship Oooooooooooo, it's probably Harley Keener/Peter Parker. They've had a special place in my heart for a LONG time
What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Probably something I haven't written yet. I'm trying my best to finish all the stories I have posted except my 1917 one, just because I'm no longer super involved in that fandom. I'd like to do a Joseph Liebgott story or maybe a Joshler/Twenty One Pilots fic, but I don't know if I will.
What are your writing strengths? Dialogue and a lot of angst. I gotta make my characters suffer lol
Thoughts on dialogue in another language? As long as y'all are good with it obviously coming from Google translate, then sure
First fandom you wrote in? It was Once Upon A Time when I was in like seventh grade. I had a OUAT Peter Pan fic on Wattpad that actually got pretty popular. I'm sad I never finished it (it is gone forever, sadly).
Favorite fic you've written? Definitely Proof That Harley Keener Has A Heart. That fic has been a labor of love for almost five years and I'm very excited to finally finish that slowburn
There's no 20th question apparently lol
Tags: @seasidesandstarscapes @sparrow-in-the-field @kcsplace @arokel @dogwooddiaries @crushribbons (love you guys <3) and anyone else who wants to play!
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Here's an unpopular opinion that will, most certainly, not be liked if anybody sees this.
Spider-Man comics have always been bad/bland, the writers and editorials grew way more blatant about their difficulty in writing (and even hatred for characters they write).
Stan Lee was not a good writer, he was decent AT BEST when he wasn't writing romance. He, like many other writers (men and women alike), was crippled with writing female characters, barely invested into them. Of course it wasn't his intention, but it still made all of his female characters feel bland.
ESPECIALLY the love interest (Yes, I'm talking about Gwen). He gave the exact same wonderful traits to Gwen Stacy and Susan Storm: angelically beautiful, extremely smart, pretty strong personalities, and (eventually in Gwen's case) deeply in love with the male main character. Yet, they both were always written off as nothing more than the damsel-in-distress only to uplift Peter and Reed as knights in shining armor.
On another note, the writer and editorial keep taking away the fact that they are extremely smart. Gwen Stacy is (arguably) almost as smart as Peter AND a cop's daughter, she should've, at the very least, reached the speculation that Peter was Spider-Man. But that was halted by suddenly making Gwen Spider-Man's biggest hater.
Making Gwen hate Spider-Man and killing her were both stupid ideas that could've been handled better (not Stan Lee's fault, but the editorials). Captain Stacy loved Spider-Man, preaching about how good of a lad he was, Gwen would've been influenced by it especially considering how much she loved her dad. But, whatever. Making her hate Spider-Man was just a way to keep Peter from revealing his identity.
Killing her off was terrible too, they could've done something else (making her go to another country with the promise to never want to see Spider-Man/Peter Parker ever again), the editorials just wanted her out of the way do they could put Mary Jane in as new main love interest.
It was always about which girl they think is hotter to keep around the protagonist, even though the characters already have needs, ideas and plans.
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get to know me 🌻
tagged by @sunriseverse :)
do you make your bed?
yes...if i'm not in a rush....
what’s your favourite number?
16 because that was my assigned number in primary school which was based on the first letter of your surname
what is your job?
currently working as an environmental tech! erm daily i am acid washing glassware and other lab things. i will be on a boat doing sampling soon though so i am looking forward to it
If you could go back to school would you?
planning to do an msc this fall but i haven't actually set anything in motion yet.....
can you parallel park?
yes bc you have to if you drive in hong kong. drive through parking spots are a fantasy there
a job you had that would surprise people?
went up to arctic and lived on military base for 4 months doing environment stuff and it was very cool esp the polar night
do you think aliens are real?
statistically they probably are maybe? idk i'd have to see the science but right now i'd say no.
can you drive a manual car?
no.....that sounds scary.......
what’s your guilty pleasure?
same as spinecorset i do not generally do guilty pleasures but probably like. eating a big bowl of creamy pasta then watching a film or tv show while pleasantly sleepy in a food coma
tattoos?
no because parents would skin me and also because i love going to onsens too much. i would get a little peregrine falcon somewhere if i could. and also something silly and food-related like a sweet potato or a vitasoy carton
favourite colour?
depends on the situation as i love many colours!! blue or purple but i'm picky about shades (e.g. i have a strong dislike for intl klein blue...reminds me too much of blue screen of death)
favourite type of music?
my spotify likes are a huge mix but i'd say hozier/the crane wives/folk songs/songs w narratives in general/cantopop (70s to 2010s)/melancholy opening/closing themes of cdramas/dramatic fight background music
do you like puzzles?
am a hater because 1. i have no patience, 2. i am bad at it and it requires sitting still and 3. have too many hobbies i would rather be doing
any phobias?
spiders, worms, centipedes (<- pretty standard boring normie ones sorry) but it's to the point where if there's a photograph or realistic drawing in a book i can't open said book
favourite childhood sport?
badminton but not competitive and tbh i really only enjoy it more now as an adult. tbh snowboarding is my eternal favourite even though it's been a few years + snow presence is getting worse
do you talk to yourself?
yes in my head when i am Struggling (uni, during a difficult run)
what movie(s) do you adore?
infernal affairs (2003), princess mononoke (1997), belle and sebastian (2013), hunt for the wilderpeople (2016), kung fu hustle (2004), painted skin (2008)
coffee or tea?
both but not at the same time (don't understand appeal of yinyeung), i LOVE milk tea (hk, thai, malay esp 3-layer tea) and tbh i put a lot of sugar/condensed milk...i also do like coffee (caramel latte w whipped cream and syrup). anyway i love hot sweet drinks in general
first thing you wanted to be growing up?
vet bc i like animals but thankfully i moved past it (i genuinely think becoming a vet is more difficult than becoming a dr. also the mental toll is extreme)
tagging: @eusuchia, @zoronoas @daydreamey @bluebeetletedkord @planet4546b @pepsi-maxwell @yu-tap and anyone else who wants to play!
#ask game#wow i rarely post but. i guess i am chatty#no pressure to play btw!! this is just. for fun#krow.misc
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11 for spider and 14 for bane!! :]
11. Does your character have a pet peeve?
I can't give a single answer because spider is a high-strung little hater <3 people breathing or chewing loudly, repetitive noises (that he isn't making), his stuff getting moved without permission, all of these things can get him seething & ruin his day. what probably sets him off the worst is like... people pitching up their voices when they talk to him or making a big deal of leaning down to his level. knock that shit off!! if he wants to look you in the eye he'll back up!!! (people picking him up without asking goes beyond "pet peeve" into "incoherent rage")
14. How does your character feel about riding horses (or your world's closest approximation of a horse if it lacks horses)?
bane knows her way around a horse! it was more of a hobby thing for her because it wasn't something she needed for work or getting to school, but she started learning young and really enjoyed it. i think baby bane liked to pride herself on befriending ornery horses that hated everyone else. also that was probably one of the big culture shocks when she moved from arizona to washington lmao like where.... are the horses........ fucked up that they're only in specific farms and not just hanging out in the wild.
#im not accepting criticism on the horse. or the saddle. or the bridle.#please understand im in a vulnerable emotional state right now (had to draw a horse)#snail mail#forffax#ty mj!! these ones were fun :]#ocs#bane#spider
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6 November: Unraveling
Word count: 615
General Taglist (lmk if you want to be added/removed!): @stellar-lune @faggot-friday @kamikothe1and0nly @nyxpixels @florida-preposterously @poppinspop @uni-seahorse-572 @solreefs @corruption-exe @rusted-phone-calls @when-wax-wings-melt @good-old-fashioned-lover-boy7 @dexter-dizzknees @abubble125 @hi-imgrapes @callum-hunt-is-bisexual @callas-pancake-tree @hi-my-name-is-awesome @katniss-elizabeth-chase @sillyguy-supreme @void-kill @thefoxysnake
Unraveling Project Specific Taglist (lmk if you want to be added/removed/upgraded): @cutebisexualmess @crippling-pages @daizythegreat @sophiefostersno1stan @iggydancebreak @theleopardstalker @you-will-meet-your-downfall @multi-fandom-lunatic
TW: Spiders, swearing, not exactly cannibalism because Keefe is an elf but it's close
On Ao3 or below the cut!
First (3 November) / Previous / Next
Keefe Sencen's Journal
Take that, you haters. I’m writing in this thing for the fourth day in a row, and let me tell you, I’ve had one Exile of a day and now you get the pleasure of listening to me complain about it. I pulled a Foster!
Which is to say, I definitely didn’t fall down some stairs because a fucking spider decided I would be its next victim. All I know is that it was fucking gigantic and it’s a goddamn miracle that I didn’t command the entire universe to immediately explode and the whole thing amused Taylor to no end. After the incident™ she was saying some shit about a huntsman, which, now that I am thinking about it in a controlled environment, might be the spider’s name. It must be because they hunt man for sport, but even then, this one decided an elf would be a suitable substitute.
Absolutely diabolical little bastards.
And you know what else is diabolical? Concrete. As though I wasn’t already having enough of a time, it decided to chew on my elbow sleeves as though I thought to bring enough clothes with me such that I could replace something like that.
Having recovered from her fit of hysterics, Taylor, the angel she is, somehow magically fixed the tear by taking out a couple of the loose threads and stitching it back together, which I don’t understand as a high-level concept, let alone understand as an actual process that can be done. That is to say, it is sorcery, witchcraft, and blasphemy and now I can barely see where the tear was.
I’m still thoroughly scarred emotionally by the fact that the spider is probably still watching me from its cave, waiting for the perfect moment to strike as soon as I let my guard down.
I guess that means I won’t be sleeping tonight and now Foster’s lack of sleep makes more sense. An everlasting fear of stairs is a surprisingly horrifying concept in the middle of the night. What if you sleepwalk and then roll all the way down and break your neck? Elwin can’t fix you if you’re splattered across the ground, trust me—I would’ve tried it just for shits and giggles if I thought there was a chance I wouldn’t immediately get obliterated to the fifth dimension.
What else can I complain about? It rained last night at like…5 am…and that kind of pissed me off because then I got wet while asleep and I don’t appreciate the sky doing that to me. Note to self: the next time you go hide in the human world, bring a guster with you. Or an umbrella. What is a guster if not just an umbrella that you have to feed occasionally.
Oh, yeah, speaking of food: Taylor has taken to bringing me food but dear stars human food is just not it. Sooner or later I’m going to start eating dirt to make up for it. Probably sooner. I’m pretty sure I’ve eaten at least a couple of food items that were previously animals, and, not gonna lie, it’s literally fine. I am physically incapable of caring anymore.
Although I do wonder if elves weren’t vegetarians if we would eat human or if that would be weird. That feels weird, but it’s not like they’re one of the intelligent species (as long as we all ignore just how conceited that name is) so theoretically…? It’s not that unlikely the council would encourage it to enforce the whole bullshit about Atlantis.
…I should probably get some sleep. Too bad I will not be doing that. See you tomorrow. Or maybe not. You’ll have to wait to find out.
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