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skylarstark4826 · 6 days ago

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"Hold still, ma Neteyam," Neytiri chides, dabbing at his little knees carefully. He whimpers at the sting, but obediently holds still, letting her bundle of herbs sop up the blood. She dribbles more water on him, sending faint red droplets running down his legs.

Lo'ak braces a hand on Neytiri's shoulder, five small fingers brushing her collarbone, as he leans down to look at his brother. "Does it hurt?" he asks, eyes wrinkling with curiosity the same way his father's do.

Neteyam puts on a slightly strained smile. "Nuh-uh." Neytiri's noticed this tendency in him recently to put on a good show for his siblings, to be stronger when they can see. Mother says Sylwanin was the same at that age, although Neytiri can't really remember it.

Kiri looks on, thumb in her mouth, and says nothing. She's still talking less than either of her brothers, or even Spider when Norm brings him around. Mother, Jake, and Norm all have their own reasons for why this is absolutely nothing to worry about, and Neytiri has a hard time believing any of them.

"That jump looked super cool," Lo'ak says, eyes sparkling. He has started picking on some of his father's turns of Sky People phrase, and also his father's love for danger.

"And 'super' dangerous," Neytiri shoots back, giving him a Look, before rounding on her eldest son. "What have we told you about jumping between trees?"

Neteyam lowers his eyes, face dark with shame. "'m sorry, Mama."

"Sorries don't fix a broken leg. You're lucky I caught you in time." Lucky Mother had been there, too, to soothe her grandson while Neytiri had tried to get her breath back, overwhelmed by the memory of her boy falling, falling, falling...she'd had to do the five things you can see, four you can hear trick Jake had taught her before the roar of flames at the back of her mind had entirely disappeared.

"I know. I...." Neteyam bites his lip. "I wanna show Daddy how far I can jump when he gets back from his trip."

Oh, Great Mother. Neytiri resists the urge to pinch the skin between her eyes. "Your father does not care how far or how high you can fling myself, my son," she says firmly. "He cares, I care, that you are safe. The only thing he wants to come home to is all of his children in one piece, do you understand?"

"Yes, Mama." Neteyam bows his head and Neytiri sighs, leaning down to plant a kiss on his temple. Then more kisses on his knees, the way Mother always used to do when she was the one falling and being lectured. You'll understand one day, she'd said as Neytiri wriggled and whined, not understanding what all the fuss was about, and oh, how she does.

"My sweet, reckless little boy," she whispers in his ear, quiet enough she's not sure his siblings can hear it. "Look after yourself, that is all we ask. Will you do that for us?"

"Yes, Mama," he says again, wrapping his small arms around her waist and squeezing tight.

ii.

"Deep breaths, babygirl," Jake says softly, rubbing his hands over Kiri's slender back. Around them, the walls flutter over so slightly as if in a breeze, only their home was built stronger than that, and there is no wind, and--enough. Neytiri has more important things to focus on right now.

"It's so loud," Kiri whines, hands pressed to her small ears as she rocks back and forth, eyes squeezed shut. "It's so loud, why is it so loud?"

It's not, not that Neytiri can hear. She has sent her sons out to play, she has ordered passing People to be quiet or else, she has covered the entryway against what Kiri describes as a hot, noisy, brightness. She has done everything that she can think of except saw her daughter's ears off and still, Kiri suffers.

"Palulukan packs fighting in the north," Kiri mumbles. "Stupid territories. Stupid mating season." Her hands twitch and pain flashes in Neytiri's skull, there and gone like a ripple in the water.

She sucks in a breath, steadying herself, and presses gentle hands to Kiri's temples. "Hush, ma Kiri," she whispers, rubbing gently the way Mother used to do when Neytiri was small, the way that always soothed her. "It's all right." She leans down to press a kiss to her daughter's forehead.

Kiri growls and jerks away, wriggling out of her and Jake's hands. "I don't want you," she hisses. "You're noisy, too noisy. I want Spider."

Neytiri's ears go flat to her head, jaw tight with frustration. Spider is a loaded topic at the best of times (his features have already started to sharpen, to mirror the face of a dead man in a metal suit, and hard as she tries the memories keep seeping in), and she can't understand what goes through her daughter's head to make this wriggling, chattering boy with his buzzing little pack seem quieter than her own parents.

Mother and Norm has discussed it, talking about the energy network filling Eywa'eveng that Kiri can feel more vividly than any of them, how Spider's presence--biologically disconnected from Eywa, pulsing with a different, quieter energy--serves as a reprieve from that kind of endless stimulation. No amount of readings and legends and theories can soothe her daughter right now, though, and Spider is far from here.

"Sorry, babygirl, it's just us," Jake whispers, settling down at Kiri's side. "Just your old man and your mama." He tucks a strand of hair behind Kiri's ear, careful not to touch her skin. "Do you wanna tell us about the palulukan fight, sweetheart?"

Kiri groans, hands tapping wildly against the ground. The walls start trembling around them, rippling with each thunk thunk thunk, and Jake shoots Neytiri a panicked look over their daughter's head.

She looks around, seeking something, anything, to make this better....her eyes land on the heap of winter blankets tucked in the corner. She scrambles over and grabs the heaviest one, carrying it back to her husband and daughter.

"Here," she says, wrapping the blanket carefully over Kiri's shoulders and pulling it over her head. Kiri lets out a little gasp and for a moment Neytiri's terrified that she's done something wrong, but then Kiri's grabbing the blanket, pulling it more and more over herself and curling up on the ground, snug and shielded as a little bug.

Her daughter takes a few slow, deep breaths as the trembling comes to a halt, until Neytiri's not entirely sure she didn't imagine it. Kiri doesn't pull away when they sit next to her this time, one on either side.

"Better?" Jake asks.

Kiri hums a reply, wriggles a little closer in Neytiri's direction. "Story, Mama," she whispers.

"All right," Neytiri leans back against the wall, turning the different options over in her mind. "How about...the day Mama saved Daddy from a pack of nantang?"

Jake mock-groans with that, and Kiri wriggles in excitement. Neytiri starts to speak, keenly aware of how her daughter clings on to her every word, listening the way she always does, liken she can see every moment in her mind's eye exactly as it happened. And for all Neytiri knows, she can.

iii.

"That was a pretty sick landing, bro," Spider says, awkwardly shuffling his feet in the doorway. Next to him, Kiri crosses her arms over her chest and bites her lip; the fact that she's not teasing her brother about today's disaster feels more ominous than if she had.

Lo'ak says nothing from where he sits on the floor, one hand pressed to his nose. The bleeding has stopped, but he won't take his fingers away from his face unless ordered, or raise his head.

"Kiri, go help your grandmother store the new herbs," Neytiri orders. Her daughter nods, shooting Lo'ak's a reassuring smile before heading off. Spider trots at her heels, shooting Lo'ak that bizarre little gesture which Jake refers to as a "Vulcan salute." It normally cracks at least a smile from her children, but Lo'ak's face is like stone.

Now Neytiri is alone with Lo'ak; he hissed when Neteyam tried to help him over the threshold of their tent and Jake had taken the opportunity to guide their older son off, to help him settle his new ikran. Tuktirey isn't back from weaving lessons with some of the other young children and Jake will probably keep her out for a while longer.

Lo'ak doesn't look at her as Neytiri continues dabbing at his bruises, feeling for breaks or sprains. "You're only a little scratched up," she tells him. "You were very lucky."

"Lucky." Lo'ak's voice cuts, sharp as a blade aimed at his own skin.

Neytiri lets out a breath. "Ma Lo'ak..." He still refuses to look up, so she brushes that one ridiculous strand of hair that never stays in place out of his eyes and tilts his chin up to meet her.

"You are very young," she reminds him. Too young. He shouldn't have been performing the ceremony at all, but the Sky People's smoke is still drifting in the distance and a war is coming, even with Eywa's might to protect them, and she'd agreed with Jake--whether she should have or not--when he'd suggested they move the time up. "Older and more experienced warriors have failed their first ikinamaya."

"Neteyam didn't," he mutters, and oh, once again that is the crux of the matter. Neytiri would like to say she was not this bad about measuring up to Sylwanin as a child, but she knows herself better than that. "Kiri didn't even need a ceremony."

"Neteyam is older than you," Neytiri reminds him. "Kiri is..." She thinks about her daughter flying into New Hometree on the night the Sky People returned, Spider clinging on to her for dear life, both of them riding an ikran who had come to Kiri instead of the other way around. Pride, gratitude, and terror--for her daughter, for what else would come along with the Great Mother's gifts--still war in Neytiri's heart at the memory.

"...also older than you," she says finally. "They have experience, advantages you do not--"

"They're older by a year!" Lo'ak snaps. "One little year, that doesn't mean anything--" He pulls himself to a halt "I, I'm sorry, Mom, I shouldn't have yelled. I just..." He shakes his head. "I hate being so weak."

"Enough." Neytiri fills her voice with Tsakarem sternness. "No one calls my children weak, not ever. Not even my children."

Lo'ak opens his mouth like he's about to argue, but closes it at her expression. "Dad's disappointed in me," he mutters.

"Of course he isn't." Not if he knows what's good for him. "And neither am I." She rests her hands on Lo'ak's shoulders. "Are you going to argue with your mother, my son? Or call her a liar?"

"No," Lo'ak says slowly. "But--"

"No 'buts.'" She pulls him close, careful not to press on his injuries, pressing a quick kiss to his forehead before he can squirm away. "Believe me, my love." Please believe me. "That's all you have to do."

iv.

"I hate the sea," Tuk sobs. She's clinging to Neytiri as if for dear life, sharp little nails digging into her arms. "I hate the sea, I hate it so, so fu--"

"Tuktirey," Neytiri warns automatically--Jake and the older children have been too loose with profanities around their youngest recently, and Neytiri has been too busy to scold them. She adjusts Tuk's weight on her hip, careful to avoid brushing the cluster of red scratches on her daughter's tiny foot.

She doesn't even know what it was, and it makes her feel a little bit mad, the fact that she cannot name the thing that injured her child. Back in the forest, she knew the names of every plant, every creature, every Na'vi, as well as her own. Back in the forest, she would not be feeling the sharp bite of panic as she hurries along the shore, feeling as lost as she did on her first day of Tsakarem training.

"I hate the sea," Tuk rasps. "I hate how hot the sun is all the time, I hate the sand getting everywhere, I hate how noisy the waves are, I hate it I hate I hate it, I want to go home--" She bursts into a fresh wave of tears, slamming her head against Neytiri's shoulder.

"It's all right, ma Tuk," Neytiri whispers, trying so, so hard not to let her voice shake. She plants a kiss on Tuk's cheek, trying to steady herself as much as her daughter. "It's all right--" She rounds a corner and almost crashes into a swollen green belly, nearly dropping Tuk as she reels backward.

Ronal blinks at her, gaze careful the way it always is when she looks at Neytiri and her family. "I heard you were having trouble," she says; Neytiri almost expects a lecture or a taunt, but her voice is soft then Neytiri has ever heard it.

"I can her, treat her injuries--" She holds out her hands and Neytiri's grip tightens on instinct, Tuk whimpering at the added pressure. Not safe, not safe, the alarm wails at the back of her head, the way it did in the forest when the demon almost stole her children away.

"If you show me what to use, I can do it." Ronal's eyes narrow at the rejection and Neytiri hastily adds on. "I wouldn't want to burden you unnecessarily, Tsahik." The word still tastes strange in her mouth, attached to someone who is not Mother, but many things have been strange since the Sky People drove them here.

Let me have this, she tries to ask the other woman with her eyes. Let me care for my children. Let me be there when they need me, let them reach for me when they are in pain. Let me have this control over my mess of a life, at least.

Ronal studies her for a second, then nods. "Come," she says, turning away, pressing one hand to her belly in a gesture Neytiri remembers well. "We'll go to my marui and I'll talk you through it."

"Thank you, Tsahìk." For the first time, Neytiri truly means it when she says it to Ronal. She hurries along at Ronal's side, keeping pace with the other woman as best she can without risk of brushing Tuk up against anything.

"Soon, my heart," she whispers, smoothing Tuk's hair. Tuk sniffles, but Neytiri can tell from the look in her eyes that she believes what Neytiri's saying, trusting in her mother like only the young truly can.

Spider sits with his back straight, hands resting lightly on his knees, water and blood glistening against his still-damp skin. It's difficult to read his expression through the mask--it's always been difficult for Neytiri to read the expressions of Sky People, with their lack of ears and tails--but he keeps steady when she weaves her needle through the cut on his chest, jaw only tightening a little.

Kiri had offered to stitch him up, even though her hands had still been shaking; it had started after they got back sure and has continued on and off for a while. But she'd said I can do it, Monkey Boy, positioning herself ever so slightly between Spider and Neytiri in a way that had hurt, somehow, almost as much as the sight of Neteyam's blood still staining the sand around them.

Neytiri had offered to do it before she could stop herself, and Spider had surprised both her and Kiri by saying it was okay. He kneels before Neytiri on the shore, letting her needle trace back over the path her knife had marked, sewing the cut closed like she's down for all her children at one point or another.

All of her children, but never Spider. One of the scientists always tended to his hurts, or Kiri, as she grew older and needed someone on which to practice her Tsakarem skills. Spider got good at looking after himself, too, thanks to years of being constantly at her side, the two of them practically joined at the hip.

Neytiri finds herself wondering who looked after his injuries during his time in captivity, or gave him what he needed to look after himself, if only so whatever injuries they gave him wouldn't fester. She wonders if Quaritch ever lowered himself to what he would most likely view as the undignified task of caring for his child.

Spider's dye is mostly gone now, the last of it worn away by saltwater, and she can see bruises dotting his skin, more vivid than the marks on her (other) children's bodies. Bruises from different times, different places, creeping down his sides, wrapping under his limbs, blossoming on his hips in a way that makes her skin crawl with dark forebodings, things she doesn't have the strength to try and name.

All prints from massive hands, bigger than Spider's. Bigger than hers, too, except for one on his shoulder, the freshest and most vivid of them all.

Neytiri has always valued apologies in action more than in words, and truthfully, she doesn't know what to say. Her memories of the past few hours are, frankly, not that clear, and what she remembers--fear, anger, pain like nothing she's ever dreamed of, not even when Father died--melts together in a bloody swirl.

She knows that she and Spider found themselves on the edge of a very dark place, and she's not sure whether they entirely came back from it. She knows that she lost a piece of her heart and walked a high, narrow edge to keep from losing the rest of it. She knows that the air between them is taut and fractured with a demon's ghost, and speaking might just call him closer.

So she just bends to her task, stitching carefully the way her mother taught her to do with children. It's soothing, in a way, this quiet, healing work, the sense of at least one thing being tucked back into place.

When Spider suddenly breaks the silence, it's almost (almost) enough to make her drop the needle. "I get it," he says, voice soft. Neytiri pauses, holding the needle above his chest.

"I...what you did, I understand. I mean, I don't know, but--I do know what it's like, losing yourself." He licks his lips. "And Kiri...she'll understand why you had to do it, too. She will."

Will she? Neytiri almost asks, but stops herself on instinct, because you're not supposed to let the children see you doubt, remember. So she adjusts her grip on the needle and keeps stitching.

"All done," she says finally, just like she does for her (other) children when she's finished putting them back together. She puts the needle aside, nodding in approval at the tight, neat stitches and wiping off her hands.

"Thank you, Tsakarem," Spider says, bowing his head, and Neytiri...she should remind him that she is not Tsakarem, not anymore, thanks to his father. She should get up and leave, she should tell him to go to Norm when he needs the stitches taken out, she should tell him she only pulled Kiri back into the forest because it was better to save one child than none and she was sure his father would at least treat him well, she should--

"You are welcome, ma Spider," she says softly. His name is strange on her tongue, and she wonders when was the last time she used it.

An impulse strikes her and she plants a kiss on her hand before reaching out, brushing it down his cheek. She can see his eyes widen ever so slightly, but he still leans into his touch, breath warm against her fingers.

+i.

It hits again after Neteyam's funeral, waves of horror-loss-death sending Neytiri staggering away from the family, pushing inland. Her breath comes fast in her ears, memories of blood dancing slick over her skin and the fire is roaring, roaring, roaring so loud she cannot hear her own heartbeat.

Mother. She wants Mother. But Mother is not here, the distance between them and the rest of the Omaticaya is too thick with Sky People to travel, what kind of daughter cannot bring a mother to see her grandson's funeral? What kind of daughter, what kind of mother, sister, wife, Tsakarem, warrior, hunter, Na'vi, person, what what what--

She finds a rock and it's not the one where her eldest died but it might as well be so she hits again, and again, blood washing off her knuckles and staining her hands. Destroying herself, breaking herself like a bow and a child and a tree and a world, skin torn as bones scrape against each other and there is no words for the sound that spills from her, except for Kìreysì trying to describe a black hole to them once upon a time.

Hitting the rock because she cannot hit the man who pulled the trigger, the man who led the soldiers, the stupid father and foolish mother who could not stop their boy from bleeding out. Battering her own weak, foolish, noisy hands that could not put a child back together this time, when it mattered most.

Mom, she thinks she can hear him call, small and frightened and always out of reach. Mom, Mom, you gotta stop, you're hurting yourself, Mom--

"Mom!" Kiri's voice, sharp and frightened, and a vine wraps itself around her wrist, pulls her back. She tumbles, almost falling, but strong arms catch her, five fingers and a teenager's grunt in her ear.

"I've got you, Mom," Lo'ak says, and Spider is catching her head as it slumps back, holding it with gentle hands, and Tuk is tackling up against her, little arms squeezing like she can put everything fractured and scarred back together with a fierce enough hug.

"Mama." Tuk's voice is shaking and Neytiri wants to say sorry, but the words have been crushed from her tongue and all she can do is breathe, and breathe. The heat of their bodies settles around her like a blanket and for a moment she can almost see five children looking down at her instead of four.

Kiri's voice echoes in the distance, ordering Spider and Lo'ak--ordering her brothers--to get her what she needs, guiding Tuk out of the way so she can get a look at the damage. Farther back, Jake's feet thudding, running towards them, steady as the ocean waves echoing in her head.

"Hold still, Mom," and there are salves being smeared over her hands, too quick to sting the way she used Kiri how to do once upon a time. Bandages tied tight, Mo'at's fingers guiding hers through the knots, Sylwanin helping Neytiri practice later on, even when she rolled her eyes and squirmed.

"It's okay," and she should be the one saying that, it's her role, but tonight they are the ones saying it to her as they gather around her, as Jake reaches them and gathers Neytiri up in his arms. There are hands everywhere, touching her, cradling her, brushing sand from her hair.

"Ma Neytiri," Jake whispers in her ear, planting kisses over her tear-slick face. "We're here, love. We're here."

In their marui they give Tuk the task of kissing each bruise better and she goes about her task with the utmost care, little face screwed up in concentration as she plants feather-light kisses over Neytiri's hands. The others all gather around her, propping her up, close enough that she can feel every one of their hearts beating, that she can almost hear the lost one beating, too.

"We should tell stories about 'Teyam," Kiri murmurs at some point. "Does that sound good, Mom?" Neytiri nods slowly, because that does sound good. Their words, their voices, their love holding her together, that sounds good.

"Once when we were little," Lo'ak begins. "Dad was on a trip to some other clans, and Neteyam wanted to practice his jumping. There was a really big jump, and everybody told him to be careful..."

The stories spill from them, one by one, a river of memories flowing into the shape of a boy. And even if it's not enough, not after she's lost, it's still him echoing in her heart, it's still her family refusing to let her slip back into the dark. Close at her side the way she's always been close to them, ready and willing to put her back together however many times it takes.

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patheticblorbloscholar · 5 months ago

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Forever loving the children of villains. How they are defined not of their own actions but that of their parents and have to fight tooth and nail to prove otherwise. He didn't choose who his father was but his actions define him as a hero. Forever loving this core character.

#spider sully #spider socorro #spider socorro sully #james camerons avatar #sully family #sully family saga

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bluephoenixgirl · 1 year ago

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Um not going to lie 👉🏼👈🏼 I kinda miss this hairstyle…..

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vitzi9 · 1 year ago

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Spider Soccoro

Spider x Human!Gn!Reader

Masterlist if you want to read my other things.

TW/CW: angst? with happy ending, reader is disabled (leg deformity, they can't walk long), reader is in an existential crisis, both are 18-19, one of reader's leg is bigger than the other.

I feel like reader's only personality is to be disabled??? i really hope it doesn't look like it to you. i feel like this is also cringe. I have no idea how to make romantic scene guys I'm sorry i've never held anyone's hand. I also feel like he's ooc

i got some kind of blank page syndrome and couldn't write anything for days (months) and i feel like i regressed in writing

I also really need to publish this it's taking so much place in my drafts. It's not amazing but it's not so bad either. Don't worry, Ethan Landry fic are coming.

(28/10/2023) (9 172 words)

Everyone was in a rush at the lab. You knew they were preparing an expedition. Norm would come talk to you soon, you wonder what stupid excuse he'll invent this time.

Something along the lines of 'it's dangerous', 'we won't be long', bla bla bla. You're used to it by now.

You suppose you're old enough to go back on Earth, now. But you were staying here with Norm since your parents did so years before. They died in the big war with Jake Sully. Well, your mother did survive, as to why you're here. But she only had the strength to give you life before losing her. So, yeah, you never really had a family, nor did Spider.

So, to compensate, he founds himself the Sullys, his new family. And you had Norm and your studies. It was all you had here. The problem is that what you considered your true family was him, Spider. He hated humans. Even though he was one. And, somehow, you understand him. So, you suspected he wasn't really fond of you. At least not anymore.

Especially since you were continuing your researches on Pandora's fauna and flora instead of simply accepting it and living with it as it is. Without trying to understand it and simply living with it.

Norm enters your dorm and smiles at you, as you predicted. You smile back. He starts his speech as usual: asking if you're okay, if you slept well, if your researches are progressing, if you're not too bored. And finally, he tells you the real reason of his presence here.

"We discovered this grove, you know ? Plants out there have exceptional medical virtues that we're yet to study.

-Good, when are we going ? "

The embarrassed face of Norm told you that it wasn't that simple.

"About that..."

Norm clears his throat. He begins a round walk in front of you to evacuate his anxiety.

"You don't have an avatar. It's well too dangerous to bring you with us. With the others, we decided that you should stay here. It's the best for you. And, you know, with your leg... he scratchs his forehead, embarrassed. We won't be long anyway and we'll bring back some of the flowers to study them here. You won't miss anything.

You knew he was lying. Firstly, despite the fact that you don't own an avatar, everyone on the team have one. For this reason, they won't have any difficulties in escorting you. Moreover, there is few to little predators interested in harming Humans. The only danger to which you are exposed therefore comes down to the environment in general. Which is mountains, severe weather, falls or any other natural obstacle that are easily avoidable things if you are on the back of one of the avatars of the team.

Secondly, you know for a fact that Norm won't collect any flowers. He forbids it. To him, and the team, disrupt the natural cycle of Pandora is a direct outrage to Eywa. If a plant grows at a certain place, then you shouldn't disturb it. Eywa knows and predict everything. Each molecule has a place and a role to play in this planet. At best, Norm will bring back a single petal to study but that will be all.

Clearly, you're not allowed to come because you're a burden.

"I'll be alone?"

He looks surprised for a moment. Norm probably wasn't expecting you to be so cooperative. But hey, what more can you do? They all already think you're a kid, freaking out now will only confirm that.

"Mike will be there. If you need help, just go to him directly in his quarters."

Mike is unsociable. He never leaves his laboratory except for vital needs. Plus, even though he stays with you, he's really sarcastic and sometimes hurtful. What Norm is telling you is that you'll be alone.

"When will you be back?

-Probably in two or three days. It won't be long."

Norm smiled softly at you. You don't smile back. He places his hand on your head, as if to reassure you.

"Don't do anything stupid while we're gone, huh? I'm counting on you."

Either way, it's not like there's much you can do here. There is nothing stupid to do. Norm tells you that you'll have to warn Spider if you see him, then he smiles at you, taking you in his arms. His hand strokes your back comfortingly.

"We'll be back soon, don't worry. If you're bored, I have old movie tapes in my room. But not a word to Jake, that idiot would be able to steal them from me."

You believe it was a joke. After all, you and Jake weren't close. Since he started a family, he seems to pretend to know nothing about Humans. Besides, why would you be friends with a forty-something married with children? It was obvious that you weren't going to tell him anything.

But Norm was repeating how Jake too was disabled and how you two could bond and he'd teach you plenty of things and... Seriously, what the hell ? No, you won't bond with him. You don't care that he was in a wheelchair for Eywa's sake. It's not a funny common point.

And you found it mostly humiliating how Norm simply saw you as the fragile weak kid. You have a personality too, you're not only disabled. You like things, you do things in your free time. You're not dying. But he seems to forget that too often. You're nineteen (less ? or more? You can't tell) ! You're not a kid anymore, you know how to handle yourself!

After a few final goodbyes, the avatars leave the lab. You watched them leave from the windows, tears of frustration buried deep inside of you. It was so unfair how you were always alone. You were born here. You have the right to want to explore, right? But no, always always always alone. It's frustrating.

Besides, you didn't feel comfortable alone here. There was not a sound. Only the fine roar of the machines in the background. You could hear your heartbeat as if shared by a speaker. With every step you took, the metal floor echoed throughout the base. You couldn't stand the noise: it made you anxious. You had the terrible feeling of being lost, alone, in the middle of space.

Finally, you returned to your room. You threw yourself head first on the bed, smothered your tears in your cushion and then slept for a while. To lull yourself to sleep, you ran your fingers through your hair and scratched your head. When you woke up hours later, nothing had changed. That same anxiety-inducing silence still resided. You stood up, then stared dreamily at the vegetation outside the base from the main hall window.

To be a Na'vi, what a dream. Browse these lands without worrying about anything. Flying on the back of an Ikran. To jump, climb, run in Pandora. Breathe its air. What would you give to be able to do so. What would you give to finally live.

To take your mind off things, you immerse yourself in your studies. You always do that, anyway. There was this flower which, surprisingly, was curative for Human but toxic for the Na'vi.

You begin by taking various samples when the heavy door of the laboratory opens with a loud hiss. Spider comes in, a big silly smile on his face that quickly fades when he sees you. There's not a sound when your eyes meet and a duel begins.

You, wondering where he had been wandering again to come back this dirty. Him, probably thinking that you have no life to work all day like you do. As usual, his cheeks are bright red. Because of his running around all day, he always come back sweating bucket and looking like a crayfish. He looks away first to rush straight to his room, without a word. You chuckle bitterly.

Yeah, he really hates you.

It was several hours later that you decided to stop your activities. You had tried to waste as much time as possible on that damned plant but who were you trying to lie to. It was terribly pointless, brimming with boredom.

You didn't check to see what Spider was up to since he got here. You were hoping he had showered. At least the body. He had a habit of putting his dirty hands all over the lab. You complain but sometimes you wish he had his hands in your business. At least you two would talk. Even for something as simple as scolding him.

He was the only boy your age. You used to play as kids. But with years, you drifted apart. As soon as you were both fifteen, towards puberty, he left and preferred his adventures. Somehow, you can't blame him. You would have done the same if you could.

The lab was still quiet. Too calm, perhaps. Your mind wandered to the boy living here. How was he so quiet? Usually he enjoys jumping and running around. Maybe you're disturbing him? He's not used to you two being alone together in the lab. And since you don't talk to each other as much anymore, maybe he's embarrassed to go out?

It's silly, you live here and it's impossible to avoid someone on such a small base. You see each other constantly. Well, if he doesn't love you, there's nothing you can do about it. Despite your sadness. You smile weakly. It's that you two had fun when you were kids. You so wish you could talk to him without just asking about Norm or the team…

Ready to go back to your room, you check one last time that you've put the equipment away correctly before turning around. Your action barely started that your chest collides with someone's body. Your heart misses a beat.

You jump and step back, your lower back hitting the desk causing a whine of pain to escape from your throat. You close your eyes, catching your breath as your hand rests on your chest as if to stop your heart from breaking out. Has he been there long? He was waiting behind your back without saying anything? Why get so close to you?

"Spider!" you sigh. "Don't do that again, I almost had an attack…"

He stands in front of you, arms crossed high over his bulging chest and chin proud. Why is he standing like that? Who is he trying to impress? You look him up and down for a moment. He cleaned himself and he doesn't smell bad. He really showered ? That's a miracle. Your gaze must have been more insisting than you thought since he seems to curl up on himself, lowering his eyes to the ground.

"You uh… do you need anything?" you ask, calming your heartbeat still rapid after such a fright.

“Where's everyone? He asks. Of course he'd ask that.

You pass by him, towards the hallway of the dormitories. You don't show it but you are terribly uncomfortable talking to him. You're embarrassed ? You can't really pinpoint it.

-They're gone exploring a place. They should be back in a few days." you answer without looking at him.

Not a sound. Yet you know he's still there, in front of the desk, staring at you. What was he waiting for? He acted weird. Spider was surprising, it's the least you could say, but he's not one to sneak up on people. Usually he jumps on them screaming.

"You're alone ?" To this, you only respond with a hum.

You didn't expect the discussion to last this long to be honest. You who wanted him to talk to you so bad, were more uncomfortable than anything else.

Recently, you have memories of your childhood that come back when you look at him so you avoid his face as much as possible. It was last night, an old memory came back to you. The two of you, hiding under the bed. You were laughing for nothing. You must have been ten or eleven. You kissed before giggling like idiots.

"But Mike is in his room." you add. Even though he knew as well as you that meant you were alone.

You don't know why you remembered this moment. It was weird too, considering Spider was with Kiri now.

"Where did they go?

-I don't know, Spider. They went to explore somewhere."

It was as if he wanted to force the discussion. He followed you down the hall until you came to your bedroom door. He was behind you again. His chest inches from your back. You wondered for a moment why he seemed so attached to you.

"You uh… Do you want to come with us later? We're going to watch the eclipse and it's really beautiful so…

The face of the Sullys appears before your eyes like a distant memory. You try to unlock your room but the presence of the boy behind you stresses and disconcerts you.

"Thank you Spider, I'll consider it.

-Oh, you have something to do first? What are you working on?

You frown before finally turning to face him. He takes a few steps back noting your abusive proximity. His face was flushed but his eyes never left yours.

-I thought you weren't interested?

It's not that you thought, in fact, you were sure of it. He had told you himself that what you were doing was boring, several times. So you were rather surprised.

"It's just…" Finally, he sighs and doesn't finish his sentence. "We'd be really happy to spend time with you."

You had doubts on that. Neteyam is the portrait of his mother. He doesn't like humans. For him, you're an alien. Lo'ak probably doesn't know you. At least he must not have noticed your existence. You're just a regular scientist to him, like the dozens there already is.

Kiri only talks to you when she wants to see her mother. And even then, she usually asks her questions to Norm. Tuk has surely never seen you. Neytiri, her mother, doesn't like knowing her close to you and to 'sky people' in general.

And Spider, ah, Spider. Spider ignores you. He never asked you to leave the lab with him again since your 'separation'. The day he decided he wasn't your friend anymore.

"Oh really ?" It was ironic. And it was obvious.

Spider was embarrassed. Your fault, surely. But you had your reasons. You didn't give yourself the opportunity to think about it, but it had hurt you. Enormously. It's so hard to be in your position. The only child like you, your age, decided to cut you out of his life overnight.

You only have him. He's the only reference you have. You don't even know what human children look like! You wanted to grow with him, discover Pandora with him! But, hey, guess he doesn't want someone who can't even move. It's humiliating to think that the only young person of the same race as you, hates you. Would it have been the same on Earth? You would have been hated?

You spent years growing up alone, without friends. Because Norm isn't for sure close to a friend. He can be considered as your father figure but not someone you'd share your secrets with. When was the last time you played hide and seek ? When was the last time you played tag ?

You don't know, days, months and years are all blur in your mind. Everyday is the same. Days are mixing into each other.

"They don't really have opportunities to talk to you, so the eclipse is a good way to get to know each others. The Sully are really cool, you know.

Probably even nicer than you if he abandoned you for them. He's lying, too. Because there are plenty of opportunities here in the lab as you never move far. If they really wanted to talk to you, they would have.

-I can't walk in Pandora with my leg, Spider. You know it." your tone was harsh, wanting to make him realize just how little he knows of you now.

The truth is, you can walk. You can try to train your body to walk longer but you need to be accompanied to do so. You can't walk alone in the forest of Pandora. You can fall, you can get attacked, get lost. Anything. But nobody wants to help you. So you're stuck in the lab and the more you're stuck, the less you walk and you lose the habit of walking and your body weaken. It's a vicious circle, really.

Norm simply gives you an treatment and everyone call it a day. It's a sort of machine which massage your muscles to soften or muscle them or something. You don't do it anymore. So it's not important. You don't blame Norm, he's a busy man. He tells you to apply some cream to ease the pain, you don't do it either.

All of this to say, you won't go with him. Because there is high chance your leg will just give out before them and it'll be the most shameful event of your life. And since thinking is all you can do here, you'll think about it until your death. So it's a big no.

-But I thought you could still walk?

-But I thought I was 'too weak and broken' ?"

Spider is left speechless before you. Mouth gaping and searching his words. He said that to you multiple times as kids. Norm had told him you weren't, which was true. But Spider meant no harm by saying that as you'd always tell him he was 'stupid'. It was a fair exchange, really. Just two stupids kids nagging each other. So yeah, maybe you went really low on this one.

But you were hurt and you weren't kids anymore.

You already spent years alone, what's some more ? You could talk to him, tell him how you missed him, how you forgive him and go with him stare at the eclipse, but you don't. Instead, you widen the gap between you. Probably because you hate yourself so you want to ruin your own life, loving to be tortured. The door finally unlock before you.

You look at Spider one last time, offering him a tight lip smile and enters your room, closing the door shut behind you. You stay put beside the door, staring at your room mindlessly. You had no reasons to come here in the first place, but you wanted to escape him.

Glaring at your bed, you decide another nap would do you good. You just have to make the days pass by quicker so everyone come back and you're not alone with him anymore.

Sometimes, you wonder how they're doing on Earth. If it would have been better if you were there instead of Pandora. Because being on a beautiful planet like this one without being able to explore it and being considered an alien is pure torture. The worst is that you'll never get an avatar, it being too expensive. Or so the other scientists told you.

You'll just stay here, being the fragile human, weaker, smaller, with a shorter life.

Then you think about Spider: Why did he suddenly want to bring you outside ? Why did he want you to be with his friends ? Why did he even talk to you ? Why did he leave you ? And, finally, the question haunting you, would he do it again ?

Staring at the cream on your nightstand, you think putting some again wouldn't do harm. Just in case you want to try to walk outside. Just in case. Staring at your leg with your medicine smeared in your palm, you observe how it's all swollen. You poke it with your index, a mark is left.

You massage your sore muscle, asking yourself if this is really working or if that is only a placebo effect. Once everything is done, you place your legs beside each others and compare them. You chuckle humorlessly in seeing the size difference.

You'll never be able to explore Pandora.

When you were still a kid, Spider and you asked for a room with windows. Lot of them. This way, even past your curfew you'd still be able to see outside. Even though you had bunk bed, you were always finding a way to sleep on the ground to face outside.

Tomorrow, we'll go there, he'd say, I'll show you this tree, he'd say, Jake brought us there, he'd tell you. And he was always honoring his words and brought you everywhere.

For a while, it was perfect. Because as you were always walking, your legs were gaining muscle ! But Spider always wanted to go further and further and further to the point where he just couldn't take you with him.

You didn't understand at first because he always had time for you. He was having fun with his 'siblings', the sully, but he would still come back to the lab to play with you. But then he just stopped. When he was coming back to the lab, it was really late in the evening and he was out like a light.

Then he grew up and you went separate ways, he had his own room, you had yours. And no windows could be seen in yours. Because now, you hate looking outside.

You don't want to sleep, but you're bored and wants to pass the day. You walk mindlessly in circle, thinking of what you could do without leaving your room. At first, you try to paint, but you're quickly bored. You try to read a book but as you already read them multiple times, you're quickly bored, too.

You write, draw, try to sleep but you can't shake the uneasy feeling inside of you. Why did he come talk to you ? What does he want ? You're on your back, slotted comfortably between your cushions when you realize that your throat is dry.

You're thirsty. So you have to drink, outside of your room. You sigh, passing your hand on your forehead. You hope deeply Spider left because you seriously don't want to talk to him right now.

You get up without a sound, putting your ear against the door to see if someone's here. No sound, good. You rush straight to the kitchen like area. You're delighted when it is indeed confirmed that no one is inside.

No one is inside.

You should have checked before because outside the base, a few meters away from the windows, you see Spider, Kiri and Lo'ak sat on the grass laughing together. You tense, you turn your back to them, praying they don't see you.

You grab a glass of water at the speed of light, but too slowly as the heavy door of the base open. You drink it in one time, put it back on the counter and start leaving.

"Hi...! calls Kiri, embarrassed. She knew you were trying to leave, that's why she sounds sorry.

You freeze. You can't ignore her, she did nothing wrong. You'd just be mean. So you turn your head a little, smiling politely. Spider isn't here, nor is Lo'ak. You're reassured.

-Hi Kiri. Norm is not here at the moment but you have free access to the laboratory if you want. you recite, used to this same discussion.

-I know, Spider told me."

She was oddly embarrassed. Now it was starting to get really weird. First Spider and then Kiri? Why do they all look uncomfortable? Did you do something ? Do you have something on your face? Kiri was the kind of person to be quite frank with other. She wasn't mean by any ways, of course, not to you at least. She was simply honest. So you know something is up when she doesn't look you in the eyes.

You stare at the security displate on the door behind her to distract yourself, how in case of a fire the exit is in the common area, how the masks allowing you to breath the outside air can also filter the smoke.

And Kiri doesn't say anything, but the door open another time. Spider enters and you want to flee at the sight. You purse your lips, not knowing if the discussion was over or not. Kiri looked like she wanted to tell you something but she wasn't uttering a word. Is it rude of you to leave ?

You try to read the security displate again, extinguishers are a little everywhere on the base. Did a fire already start here ? It's possible, after all. Still, it seems impossible as every scientist here is cautious.

As you were engrossed in your reading, a shock-like launch take over your leg. You grit your teeth and frown, hoping no one notices. You hated being seen like this.

Especially in front of the Na'vi, in this case Kiri. The Omatikaya were strong, proud. You couldn't even stand for more than twenty/thirty minutes.

So you didn't like hanging out with the Sullys. They ran, jumped and played happily all over Pandora. When it was impossible for you to do so. But it was your planet, too.

Kiri clears her throat, giving a look to Lo'ak still outside in the grass. He was laughing. At you ? You don't know, but Kiri seemed to be asking him for help. Are you making her nervous ? Now, you feel bad. You didn't do anything, you don't want her to be uncomfortable to just talk to you.

You don't know where is Spider, you don't want to look for him. You just know he's in the room with you.

-By the way, tonight we're all going to observe the eclipse so I thought you could come? I'm sure you'd have a lot of fun. she tried to sound casual but his words sounded fake, as if repeated. Why is she offering you to come? You're not even friends. Did Spider ask her to do so?

-Thank you Kiri, Spider already offered to me. I think I'll pass my turn. There will always be other eclipses in the future. you stay silent, analyzing her body language. Is there... A problem ?

Kiri shakes her head, assuring you that everything's fine. But you can't believe her when they've been acting so strange. Did Spider talk about you to her ? And if yes, why? And what did he say ?

The three of you are staring at each other in utter silence. Your two interlocutors deeply uncomfortable and getting fidgety. Kiri gives you a tight lip smile, as if she knew how weird and awkward the whole situation was. As if she's giving you support.

You then stare at Spider, who you tried to forget a few minutes ago. Maybe he could answer your confusion as he seems to be the one linking everything together. He smiles at you, cheeks once again bright red. Eywa, this is just too embarrassing.

"I'll have to go back to my room so..." you say, already backing off, thumb pointing toward your fleeting.

You don't 'have' to go back but you really want to avoid this mood. You might die from embarrassment in being stared at by two people without them talking.

Your leaving awake Kiri. She almost scream at you to wait and you halt in your track, startled by her sudden outburst. You think she is blushing, terribly uncomfortable, but it's hard to tell as her skin is blue. But it look like it's now a little more purple. Truly fascinating.

-I think Spider wanted to show you something. Right Spider ? Kiri exclaims, staring insistently at the boy sitting on a high chair a few feet away from you.

-Me ? No, why ?

-I'm sure you do, come on, I know you remember…" Kiri gritted her teeth, glaring at the boy. She was almost desperate, wanting him to help her out of the hole she was digging.

What is happening ? What are they talking about ? Something to show you ? Is that why Spider been so weird to you since this morning ? Why didn't he just showed it to you? He doesn't have to ask Kiri for help.

-I don't think that is... he's cut off by the cold tone of Kiri.

-Spider...

With the death glare she sent him, he quickly stood up away from the chair. He looks behind him, to the window, Lo'ak smiles at him. Why isn't he just coming in ? Why is he just laughing at everything going on ? Is this an inside joke ? You don't find it funny. Are they making fun of you ?

Spider walks up to you, step by step while Kiri back off. He clears his throat, that's when you notice he's hiding something in the pit of his hand.

-I did… well, no. I found, yeah, I found that and kinda thought about you, well, about your behavior ? But, uh, so I took it. he lifts his hand to your, a bracelet in his palm. Here. you frown.

-You found a bracelet already made? Isn't it just someone else's bracelet ?

How, in this huge and vast forest, did he even find it ? And what does he even mean by your behaviour ?

-No, I...

-You could get in trouble Spider, you should try to see if someone lost it.

You were worried because even thought Spider tried to remove you from his life, you were still scared for him. He was a human, he wasn't accepted in the Omaticaya tribe. If one of the Na'vi found out he 'stole' something, he'll be done for. He's been mean to you, but you know he doesn't deserve to be alone.

And why is Kiri cheering him up. Isn't she supposed to tell him it's bad ? Is she trying to sabotage him? No, she wouldn't do that. Well, she doesn't really look like she'd be mean anyway.

Kiri rolls her eyes and shakes her head. You don't understand.

-Seriously Spider, you should put it back where you found it. you insist.

He closes his eyes shut and sigh. Head going low. He looked frustrated and embarrassed. You noticed that Kiri walked away to leave you two more privacy. You preferred when she was closer.

-Okay, maybe I... didn't find it.

This make no sense. He did it himself ? Someone gifted it to him ? In both case, it's nice. So why would he lie to you on something like this ? What's got into him today ?

-Why would you lie to me ? on something like that, that is. It's just a small bracelet, nothing to be lying for.

-Listen, I... I made it. For you. Kiri helped. Please, come with us watch the eclipse tonight. The Sully want to meet you.

Meet you? But you're here. You never go far. They already met you. What is this about ? Is this bracelet a simple gift or something with a deeper meaning ? You know Na'vi have certain traditions, like gift giving to court a mate. But you're not his mate and Spider isn't really a Na'vi, still, he lives like one.

But most importantly, aren't Kiri and Spider together ? Are you misinterpreting things ? Surely. Because why would he starts to court you after avoiding you for years ? When he's already in a relationship! Is he trying to reconnect with you? Or he simply realized that you're the only one to be of the same race as him and he has no other choice.

It's sad but it's a truth. He can't mate with a Na'vi, he doesn't have an avatar. You're his only choice. But you don't want to be the last option. You don't want him to choose you just because you're the two only humans. You'd rather see him ignore you for years again.

-So? Will you come ?

-I don't think.... You start but he cuts you off.

-Why ? I'll carry you on my back if you want ! You want to roll your eyes at the ridiculous aspect of it all.

-Why are you insisting so much Spider ?

-I'll even give you foot massage !

-Ew! You and Kiri exclaim in unison. Spider smiles at your reactions and without really realizing it, you lightly smile as well.

-I swear you'll have fun. Please." he asks you one last time.

So you accepted. Because you realized that you still wanted to be his friend. Because you miss his company. Because Spider is who he is. Because you want to go out desperately.

And that's how you find yourself standing nervously before the Sully in the middle of the forest hours later. The suns barely start to leave the sky, one of them being hidden by the clouds.

Lo'ak greeted you awkwardly while Tuk jumped at the idea of meeting someone new. Neteyam wasn't here with them, it made you feel less stressed as he's the one who scares you the most.

They soon started strolling around with their giant legs, quickly out-speeding you and Spider.

The tree siblings were walking ahead of you, far ahead. Jumping and laughing. But Spider was beside you, smiling. Like the old times. A wave of sadness, nostalgia and shame hit you. You don't even know why you're ashamed. He told you he wanted you to be here. Still, you feel like he forces himself to be kind to you.

"You can speed up, I'm just behind.

-Can't I stay here ? He shrugs while smiling happily.

Well, yes, of course he can. It was just an offer. You shrug, letting him do his own choices.

-It's been a while since our last discussion, I don't want to leave you alone."

Again, you thought. And you think he thought it too by his apologetic look. Is it too late for a new friendship to bloom ? Has time passed too quickly ? You're both adults now. But you still have this feeling pulling at your chest each time you see him. Knowing damn well things didn't end correctly between you.

Your good leg hit against a root on the ground and you lose your balance. Spider is quick to grab your hand to prevent you from falling.

You feel so bad for always needing someone. But you also feel angry. Because it's fun reducing to always need someone company to just walk. You know Spider wants to ask you if you're okay, still, he doesn't. And you really appreciate it.

"So? That flower you've been studying? he asks instead, letting go of your hand slowly, as if he didn't really want to.

You frown at his choice of conversation subject. Spider is not one to like science, at all. It's intriguing because that mean he watched you work for far longer than you thought to know what you were working on.

Then why didn't he just talk to you? Instead of hiding himself behind your back waiting for you to turn around.

-It's progressing. I think we can make medicinal meals for humans with it. It's really interesting.

You didn't want to talk much about it since you knew Spider would be bored pretty quickly. But if he was, he was hiding it damn well because you couldn't see anything but his fond smile.

-That's cool. He says. Tell me more.

You were surprised to say the least. Because never had Spider ask you to explain your works to him.

-Are you sure ? You asked doubtfully

-Well, yeah!"

And he was so excited to hear you that a warm feeling enveloped your heart. You started explaining every progress you made in the past few months, not sparing any details. You knew he didn't understand things sometimes but you were happy to explain it to him more clearly.

Often, you'd have to stop to escalate a fallen tree or some high places but Spider was always eager to help you. Sometimes, the Sully would look back at you two and smile.

At first, you thought that Kiri would join your conversation but maybe she knew you two needed this talk. You were old friend trying to reconnect and she was kind enough to let you have this. She never looked like the jealous type anyway.

When you finished your story, you asked Spider about his dailies activities and he was happy to indulge.

And without really understanding how you made it, you were now on his back while he was walking proudly towards his friends. Honestly, you knew Spider was somewhat of a muscular guy but you'd never thought it was possible for him to carry you for so long like he did.

And when you arrived, you thought he'd be quick to set you on the ground but he didn't. He kept you on his back as long as he could. You just wanted to enjoy your old friend's company, stay in the illusion that nothing ever changed.

The view was really beautiful. A calm place on the edge of the void. Ikran were flying down there, some mounted by omaticaya, other simply loving their freedom. You could see all the floating island from here. And of course, the suns.

Surprisingly, you weren't feeling too tired, yet. Spider was still talking to you but your face on his shoulder, the warmth of his body and the comfort of it all before the beautiful view of Pandora was enough to put you in a trance.

Eventually, when you met the stare of Kiri, you forced yourself to get off him. Because you didn't want to make her uncomfortable.

Your hand wipe away the few water drops on your mask. It's a little frisky out there, but it feels good.

As everyone was laying on the ground excitedly, you sat at the far right of the siblings, leaving a polite space between you. But the space quickly was filled by Spider's body plopping beside you. He smiles, you can't give him the same kindness, mind full of questions.

Why are you here ? Because as much as the scenery is nice, you're not close no any of the people who 'invited' you. What was the plan in making you come here ?

Spider's hands which lay flat on the ground support him, his arms behind his back. He's almost laying down.

"Don't fall asleep." he tells you but you have no idea why he told you that as you're wide awake.

Maybe he's just trying to be nice, trying to be polite and make you feel included. You don't mind it. You're sure this whole rendez-vous together is a one time thing that you'll never do again. So you're fine with it.

Even if you're disappointed. Because you love going out in Pandora.

You concentrate on staring at the scene before you instead of sulking. It was really pretty, you never saw something so beautiful before. Because the last time you went out, you were young and had a strict curfew. You never got to watch the beauty of the nightfall.

Soon, every plants and living beast should light up. You already notice the freckles on the siblings body become clearer. You smile softly. You feel good, at peace. You could stay here forever. It's like you're finally connected to Eywa.

The suns are moving slowly and you're hypnotized by them all, a smile pulling at your lips.

Even if lost in your trance, movements from your left grabs your attention. Spider's thigh is suddenly pressed against yours. You search for his eyes, to see any emotion or reaction explaining you his behaviour but his eyes are solely staring at the sun before you. Why did he move so much closer ?

You shrug, thinking that you're cold anyway and a little of human warmth won't do harm. So you ignore his shenanigans, opting to concentrate fully on the sight. You're lucky to live on such a pretty planet. Even when now, it's a foot that set itself under your leg, taking you once again away from your thoughts.

"Spider?" you ask this time.

Because his foot slided under your sick leg and as it's a somewhat private part of you, you're surprised by the contact. Spider looks at you and smile, his head falling on his shoulder as he held every star of the night in his eyes. Even through the mask, you could see how prettily shiny they were.

You never saw him so comfortable, but when you really think about it, you can't remember much of the time you spent together. It was so long ago. Maybe he was comfortable like that with you before.

Frowning, you stare at your now tangled legs. This is getting weirdly intimate. Just this morning, he was avoiding you like death and now he's craving physical attention? But when you look into his eyes, you can't find any answers.

It's not new, though. You remember when you were little, you were always asking yourself; What is he thinking ? He always has been unpredictable and impossible for you to decipher.

But you stay still, letting him do his things. Because you missed all of this.

"Where is Earth ?" asks Tuk to one of her siblings.

You realize it's the first time you hear them talk and remember their presence. Lo'ak is the one to answer. He points to a really really far star in the sky and you follow his direction. Earth ? That's where you come from ? You're sure it's beautiful out there, too.

Feeling confidence running through his veins, Spider finally glides his hand to lay it on yours, putting his fingers between yours on the ground.

"Do you think there is a deity like ours on Earth?" asks Kiri and your blood run cold.

Kiri, Spider's lover. She's just beside you. You hope she did not see that. You forgot they were together. As if an electricity shock cross your body from head to toe, you push his hand away and move your leg out of his hold, in your rush, you hit it against the ground and whimper.

Spider try to touch your leg, probably worried about your health but you don't want him to touch you anymore.

"What are you doing ? you ask, throwing worried glances to Kiri who wasn't looking. He halts his hand in the air before retracting it silently.

-I... Nothing. Sorry." he's deeply confused. But you are more.

His head turns in the opposite direction of your, his body language telling you he's terribly tense. What is he doing ? Why was he all over you ? What the hell was that ?

Is he seriously flirting with you? When Kiri is barely one person away from you ! He probably doesn't know you're aware of his relationship with her and is trying to get in your pants. Thinking that hurt your heart deeply. Staring at him nervously wrapping his fingers around the plants, you're not so sure he's a cheater.

No, you conclude. He would never play with her heart like this.

But he changed with years. He was a man now. Maybe he wasn't the Spider you used to know, after all. No, you need to stop imagining things. You just need to talk to him, understand his thoughts. Spider is nice. He probably changed but not like this. You can't even force yourself to believe Spider would be a bad person.

The rest of the eclipse, you didn't get to enjoy it as much as you wanted. Too preoccupied by your boiling mind. And soon, it was already time for everyone to get back home.

Your little group stands up, the siblings and Spider talking excitedly together. Spider was still by your side though. You were thankful that even despite the awkward situation you two were in minutes prior, he was still making sure you weren't being left out.

After some time, you noticed that Spider wasn't trying to be part of the conversation anymore, his steps were slowing down. He tentatively looked at you and your eyes met his.

"Are you mad at me ? he finally asks.

-No. You say, because you truly were not. Just confused.

-Confused about what ? I thought I was pretty clear back there.

-Your intentions were indeed pretty clear, don't worry about that. I just... It's really low of you to do that with Kiri just beside us.

-What does Kiri have to do with this?

You hate that he's playing dumb. And you get more frustrated the more you're talking to him. By now, you two stopped walking, standing in the middle or the forest without moving.

-I don't like you playing with her. You should stop.

Spider's eyes widen, he steps back a little, looking agape. His lips forms words but no sound come out of it. Why is he so surprised ? Isn't it logical for him to settle to one person ? Why does he look like he just got a world's revelation ?

-You thought I mated with Kiri ? asks Spider in a voice so high pitched you're sure the whole forest heard.

The three siblings before you stops in their track and look at you two, surprised faces on all of them before Lo'ak burst out laughing hearing your conversation, as well as Tuk.

There is a long silence between you and the boy only disrupted by the never stopping laugh of the two omaticaya. The girl approaches you slowly. You feel so stupid, you might die from shame. He wasn't playing dumb, the two really weren't together.

Spider turns pale. Kiri looks him up and down before pretending to vomit.

-What ? Me ? With this thing? she says, disgust lacing her words.

You want someone to bury you seven feet under ground.

-Same thing for me ! Spider screams. Everyone, but her!

-He is literally the spitting image of Lo'ak! Why would I mate with him?

-I… I don't know. I always see you guys stuck together so I figured…

You now realize how stupid your reasoning looks. Yes, they spend lot of time together, but so do a family.

-She's not even funny ! She's the worst person to be with !

-Shut up !" Kiri says, pushing Spider strongly. The boy manages to impress you by not moving a lot despite the strength of the Na'vi girl by his side.

Seeing their bother sister dynamic, you instantly knew that they weren't lying. You even wonder how you could ever think of them as a couple.

You feel a lot better knowing Spider was still kind. And knowing you did not betray Kiri. Relief flood in you. Maybe your boy is still as kind as before.

Lo'ak, Kiri and their little sister then decided to head back home after accompanying you to the lab. Tuk was tired, she was being carried on her brother's back while Kiri was in her own head. Spider was much more awake. He was eagerly talking your ear off about some of his craziest adventures with the Sullys.

For a moment, you were at peace.

You had your old friend back, new people next to you who, you hope, you'll soon be able to call friends. The thought of the discussion you and Spider would definitely have later wasn't even plaguing your mind. You were having fun. It was perfect.

As soon as you arrived back at the lab, apprehension was all you could feel. What if it's the last time you see them ? What if they don't want to be your friends ?

They dropped you off at the entrance of the base. Tuk was still sleepy and she mumbled something along the line of 'Goodnight' before going back to her asleep state.

You thanked them, told them you had a great night and they started to leave, not before some farewells.

Lo'ak whispering a 'good luck bro' to Spider which you clearly heard despite him trying to be quiet, he gave him a pat on the back before stepping back. Kiri smiles at you softly then sticks out her tongue at Spider with a teasing look.

As much as this whole scene was cute, your leg was starting to hurt and you needed to sit down quickly before losing your balance.

You wave at the Sully, finally watching their back heading to their home. You're sleepy, but something is preventing you from really falling asleep right then and there: You still have questions.

If he's not with Kiri, that means he was flirting with you. Crafting you a bracelet, wanting you to spend the rest of the day with him, trying to be skin to skin against you; that's flirting, right ? That's what they do in books anyway.

Spider opens the heavy door of the lab for you, you wait for the air to be cleaned before taking off your mask. You hurry to find a seat nearby. What is it now ? Are you friends ?

There is no sound in the whole lab and the mood stresses you. You're alone with him, you can't ignore the awaiting conversation you'll eventually have. Spider grabs a glass of water that he set on the table for you to drink.

You thanks him lowly. He sits on a chair on the other end of the table, facing you. He taps his nails on his chair nervously while you avoid his gaze by staring at your shoes.

"So..." he starts.

Your heart's beating quicken because you don't know what to expect. You're scared. But knowing that Spider is as frightened as you reassures you at the same time.

"Did you have fun ? Tonight ?

-Yeah, it was nice. The sky was pretty. Thank you.

-Cool, cool. It's nice to know."

Spider scratch his head, eyes boring holes into the ground. But he stopped his movements and sighs, brows frowning and creating a crease on his forehead.

"I'm an idiot. He resumes. I don't know why I left you. He stays silent for a while, you let him find his word, desperately wanting to hear his point of view. I guess I was scared. Maybe even ashamed.

Ashamed ? Ashamed of you ? This conversation will really end you if he continues this way.

-Scared because... I don't want you to like me just because I'm your only option. I was scared to think I liked you just because you were the only kid my race I've ever known. At your frown, he smiles bitterly. Yeah, I like you. But now I'm sure it's not because we're the only two human the same age.

You're stunned. Astonished, even. Your mouth is mid open, your eyes are wide. You stopped breathing a few seconds ago. Is he joking ? How does Spider, the guy who stopped talking to you years ago, confesses his love to you? How is he asking the same questions you asked yourself times and times again ?

-And ashamed because I don't want to be human anymore. I want to be a Na'vi, an omaticaya. A true one ! And you, the lab, are reminding me of who I really am. I guess I didn't like that. A long silence spaces his confession, you trying to process everything and him, searching his words. But at the same time, back then I thought that as long as you were with me, I wouldn't mind staying human, you know? But it's a lot of thoughts in a fifteen years old's mind and I just panicked, I guess.

Tears are quickly filling your eyes, you're speechless. You've been waiting for him to explain himself for so long and finally it was happening. You want to cry because it's the first time someone is openly telling you about their emotions, you want to cry because you have no choice but to confront your own emotions now. But you don't know how to handle them. You wipe aggressively your eyes, trying to make it look like you got something in it, you know Spider is not believing it but you still try to hide.

He'd stay human for you ?

-I have no excuses. I'm just an idiot. You never deserved to be left alone. And...And It's okay if you're a little broken because you're wonderful. It balances out. He says on a lighter note at the end.

And his silly confession made you smile. As stupid as it sounded. Because how is this his first words after years of mutual avoidance ? He just can't be serious. You're overwhelmed, you thought this day was going to be like every other day. None of this was planned. You don't know how to react.

-You won't forgive me right away, I know it. But I'm ready to wait. I'm... Kiri taught me how to sew. I-I can sew you clothes, jewelry, even a shawl. And I'm much stronger now, I can bring you everywhere. I'll make you visit lot of pretty places. I'll carry you.

You don't like that his offer is so tempting to you. Because you would have liked to make him wait, make him understand how hurt you are. As selfish as that sound, you just wanted for him to sympathize.

-Not even in a romantic way, we-we can just be friends, just like before. It'd be really nice.

Yes, it'd really be nice. You don't want to wait anymore. You missed him, your friend, so much.

-Why today ?

-What ?

-Why did you choose to come see me today? What pushed you to do so?

He chuckles, crossing his arms on his chest and staring at the ground.

-Lo'ak and Kiri forced me. Because I've actually been crafting you things for years but never gave them to you. He lacked courage. But they thought I did. They discovered it somehow and started reproaching it to me and told me that if I did not come talk to you to apologize, they would do it themselves.

Really now ? You're curious? Why has he been crafting you so much ? Okay, you think. You're ready to open your heart a little bit, just for him. But not entirely ! He has to work for it. He has to wait a little as well. Because, well, he never forgot about you. And that's enough for you to let your guards down.

You'll have to thank Lo'ak and Kiri next time you see them at the lab. You owe them.

-So ? Can I have another chance?"

#spider soccoro #spider soccoro x reader #spider socorro x you #spider socorro #avatar fanfiction #avatar #avatar the way of water #spider socorro sully #avatar spider #spider socorro x gn reader #vitzi9writings

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moving-asfateentertwines · 2 years ago

Photo

This lives in my brain 24/7

growing up among a species twice the size of your own must be weird

bonus:

bonus bonus:

#avatar #awow #atwow spider #neytiri #spider socorro #spider Socorro sully #jake sully #neteyam te suli tsyeyk'itan #lo’ak te suli tsyeyk’itan #tuktirey #atwow tuk #atwow

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halpwhatdoiputhere · 7 months ago

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Alri Avatar fans can we pls talk more about how they took signature parts of Jake and Neytiri for the kids? Like small details when side by side we can see

These aren’t my images btw

Lo’ak and Jake have the same pondering (?) thinking face especially under high emotional pressure

Jake and Tuk have the same omg this is amazing omg surprised happy look (so precious)

Neytiri an Neteyam have the same spaced out thinking face

And the same downward lip when disappointed

Flying posture

The oh damn look too

And finally messing up when trying to impress yo girl but you actually just made her like you more

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lani-sun · 1 month ago

Text

☆ ritualistic ☆

synopsis: jake reminds himself it’s just biology. just the instincts of his newly-acquired form urging him to take, to claim, to keep. and maybe, just maybe, he could’ve controlled it. (had you not made everything so damn difficult, of course.) avatar!jake sully x fem!scientist!reader

warnings: there's no plot here friends i am SORRY, kind of dark!jealous!jake if you squint, slight enemies to lovers, graphic, descriptions of lust bc imagery goes wild here, explicit sexual content [18+ MINORS DNI], dom/sub dynamics, dubcon, dirty talk, slightly sacrilegious?, dacryphilia, major major size kink, biting/marking, jake sully being himself should be an inbuilt warning, let's pretend (for the bio minor stem girly in me) that the lab is somehow perfectly clean and non-contaminated after this pls

☆

jake finds you in the lab, your eyes scrunched into crescent moons underneath scuffed safety glasses hooked loosely behind your ears. his own pin back against the underside of his head instinctively, attuned to the rhythmic, near-silent reverberation of your breath. in. out. in. out. your gloved hands (ancient latex, he notes with a disgruntled twitch of his nose) shake incrementally as you peer into the microscope you're hunched over, adjusting the brilliance of the light painting your petri-dished specimen in a silvery glow. the sound you release when you get it just right—faint, pleased, unfairly absentminded—is enough to send a spark of something foreign down his spine. something delirious, fervent in nature. something that grits his teeth on instinct, clamps down on his jaw like barbed wire, like an insatiable beast clawing at the bars of its enclosure, crying out for the feeling of your flesh (futilely human, extremely off-limits) in its hands. and god, he's not supposed to think about you like that. not supposed to want you the way he did. not when his body isn't meant for you, not when he feels the chains of his forced entrapment in a life confined to a wheelchair coming undone at the sight of freedom. at the sight of you. in this form, he could take you. hell, he could have you. bite into you. he swipes his tongue across his top row of teeth, feeling for the elongated hooks of his canines. yeah, he'd like that.

he settles on making himself known. as his low hum of greeting fractures your reverie, your gaze snaps harshly to his, ricocheting of the surface of his skin. (and he likes it, the aggravation simmering under the surface of your composure. he's always had a soft spot for brats. for an animal to tame.) he swears he can hear the startled hitch in your breath, can sense the shaky, half-jump in your heart rate. "mornin' doc," he chirps, lips quirking up at the sight of the exasperation already etching itself into your features. you rip your safety glasses off, shoving them into a pocket of your lab coat before yanking your mask down with an irritated huff.

"i cannot with you today, sully." a muscle in the delicate column of your neck bounces under his unyielding stare as you reach underneath the metal tabletop to grapple for a pipette, balancing it in the junction between your thumb and index finger. sticky, cloying heat gathers in his veins, a tangible ache hunting for purchase in between his temples. take, it begs. take her.

you continue, oblivious. "and i told grace to change the code on the damn door—"

he clears his throat. reminds himself that fantasizing about you while you're within arm's reach of him is a decision better left unmade. "aw, c'mon, don't be like that. 'm not gonna stay long. not smart enough t'be a scientist like you, pretty."

you huff. "that's an understatement. go out and do—other things, then. stop bothering me." you yelp when his hands (heavyset, gorgeously sea-blue) meet the slim neck of your microscope, slapping them away with a flick of your wrist. "jake!"

a chuckle rumbles in the back of his throat as he backs away, arms raised mockingly in surrender. "show me what you're workin' on." his tail flicks across the backs of your thighs as he stalks around the table, diminishing the space between you. inch by inch. breath by breath. prowling. you track him warily, but a sharp gasp—low, so low he swears he's imagining it—slips through your gritted teeth when his palms flatten against the counter on either side of your waist, your shoulder blades nearly pressed to the junction of his navel and thigh. you jolt when his tail curves downward to wrap around your ankle (fragile, he thinks, so breakable) and squeeze.

"hey—" you warn, the force with which you grip the lab bench beneath you burning half-circle indentations of your fingernails into your palms. "what are you—"

"show me," he coaxes, voice like honey down the curve of your spine. "teach me, if you wanna. 'm not complainin'." his face goes slightly slack when you shift your weight, the cotton of your coat brushing against his tensed lateral muscle. your proximity is stifling. suffocating. he nearly tackles you to the floor when your hand tentatively encases his wrist, the illusion of distance accompanied by an empty threat of resistance. (he just can't help himself, you see. hunting prey is in his biology; he has to do it to survive. and you understand that, don’t you, sweet girl?)

"teach you?" your voice is erogenously breathless, spine fleetingly rigid. ramrod-straight, enraptured in the suggestive slide of his skin against yours. he resists the urge to outline the arc of your back with his knuckles. with his tongue. "not a service i offer, sully. not for you."

"who's it for, then?"

you shoot him a dark look over the incline of your shoulder, a brooding lilt scripted in the slant of your brow. an unavailing warning to his wandering hands. "why does it matter?"

the scent of you floods his senses as you shift, and his focus momentarily gives way to antiseptic and dampened soil, lemon and fresh chamomile, pine and vanilla-tinged sweat. a lingering body lotion, perhaps, or a coveted perfume. (and oh, are you trouble. trouble in the form of gentle hands, soft eyes, fragile bones. trouble in the way your defiance bleeds like a salted wound, roving gaze shirking under the weight of his shadow. it is raw, the way he longs to sink his teeth right into your godforsaken throat, apologies already teasing the tip of his tongue, just waiting for him to extinguish the fire he started—).

"just wanna know who's been spendin' time w' my girl." jake's chest vibrates with amusement against the dip of your nape, but the salacious slip of his tongue against the roof of his mouth betrays him. the heat of you burns through his layers (well, layer) of clothing, akin to an open flame. taunting him. tempting him. his gaze drops to the flex of your neck, the hypnotic flutter of your pulse thrumming dangerously close to the surface; the involuntary twitch of his fingers is only customary. only natural. "you're in 'ere too much, baby. gotta get you out."

"here's where the money is, jake," you counter, and his stomach seizes when your elbow brushes the braided cords of his tewng [loincloth]. "all the samples from the valley still need to be cataloged, and norm brought me a—"

jake's voice slices through the air, crackling roughly with unbidden contempt, an edge of resentment he can't quite bring himself to swallow. "you're gettin' samples from that asshat now?"

you crook a brow. "well. he offered." (he battles the depraved urge to clasp his hand around the dainty column of your throat, to press his chest flush against the arch of your spine. to school you in the art of possession, of ownership, of instincts that slither through bone marrow, of urges that writhe beneath his skin like a sickness, ravenous and unrepentant.)

his jaw flexes lazily, tongue pressing heavy against the inside of his cheek. his restraint is a brittle thing, straining beneath the weight of something starved. something venomous. "'s that right?" his teeth flash pearly-white. "doin' a lot for you, isn't he?"

you whirl on your heels to face him, snaring his gaze in yours. your vexation rises, fiery and unmistakably overeager, but a viscous want accompanies it, swirling in the whites of your eyes. it grows bolder under his earthy stare, a mere captive to the deepening hunger stretching wordlessly between you. it lingers, needlessly persistent in its provocation—the constant standoff of shallow breaths and locked jaws, of tongues bitten raw and fists clenched around unfulfilled promises of restraint. his stare tumbles downward to the wicked curve of your mouth, and he swears he can taste the startled exhale of breath that leaves you. gotcha.

"ever heard of overstaying a welcome, sully?" your expression dissolves into schooled imperturbability.

his braids follow the movement of his head as it tilts, azure skin glimmering aquamarine in the lab's sterile lamplight. your eyes track the slow sway of each woven strand, the way the beads threaded into each end collide sharply in sync—hypnotic, deliberate. erotic, almost. "careful, doc. keep talkin' like that and i might just start thinkin' you don't like me very much."

"i don't," you respond swiftly, but a flicker of suspicion contracts his pupils. he doesn't believe you for a single damn second. (and you're so pretty when you lie, aren't you? pretty girl, so resistant to an orbit your body is meant to sustain. saliva coats his mouth. the things he thinks of doing to you are despicable. downright lewd, even. he thinks of folding you in half. he thinks of molding you to his pleasure until you can't tell his name from your own. he thinks of making you cry. and he should feel guilty. he should chain himself to contrition. but he doesn't. he never has. he never will.)

he leans in. grins in wolfish pride when your pulse skips one, two, four beats. "you're a good liar, pretty. gotta give you that."

you jerk forward instinctively when one of his hands slides to your stomach, forcing the arch of your spine to coalesce with the unforgiving edge of the table. the other dips under your coat, captivation evident in the way his palm stretches effortlessly around the fullness of your waist. it is nearly consumption, an unfurling desire hell-bent on catharsis. on bitter-blooded ecstasy. (it is only nature, he reminds himself. it is only his new body, adjusting to the unfamiliarity of want for an object he cannot have. cannot attain. he's not himself. he's not thinking straight.)

"jake." a tinge of nervousness colors the syllables of his name as your mouth parts around them. he drops onto his haunches just as you reach for him, eluding the desparity of your touch. your hand flexes in midair, barren. "what are you—"

"bet norm's thought about this." his voice is a rasp against your skin, curling warm in the crook of your neck. his nose brushes the tender slope of your pulse point as his words wash over it, savoring the frantic thrum of your heartbeat against his lips. "bet he's wonderin' what you feel like under all these—" a pause. intentional, drawn-out. with an arbitrary flick of his wrist, he slides your lab coat off your shoulders, his fingers ghosting across the expanse of bare skin he can see. "clothes."

"what the fuck are you talking about?" there is no bite to your bark, a weak imitation of pious resolve hovering in the air between you.

"y'don't think so?"

"jake, stop."

he heeds the urgency in your tone, leaning back on his heels. (he knows you're fighting it. fighting him. stubborn, sweet girl, ankles deep in quicksand. so damn eager to play the ethical upper hand. so devoutly attached to your cool-blooded composure. so resolute in slipping from his grasp. flighty. he grits his teeth. then again, he's always liked butterflies. they look so pretty on their backs.)

your shudder of breath betrays you. "this isn't—we can't."

his eyes narrow—watching, knowing. he can smell it on you, the quiet betrayal of your body, the want fused to the rhythm of your pulse. it pools in your gaze, a laceration bound by silence. his fingers trace idle patterns along your thigh, evocative of ink kissed into parchment. a silent mantra hums beneath his touch—mine, mine, mine. "don't you want it?"

"jake."

"it's a yes or no question, pretty."

"that's not fair." your lower lip juts outward, crowned by the swell of your trembling inhale. "you've don't even like me. and you're a pain in the ass. i'm not letting you take my clothes off just 'cause—"

"who says i don't like you, huh?" he presses his nose to your sternum, grinning viciously when you choke. "i like you tons, baby."

"you didn't let me finish. i'm not letting you take my clothes off just 'cause—"

"who says i was gonna take your clothes off?"

your fingers sink into his hair, curling along the sharp cut of his jaw, thumbs hooked around the curves of his ears. controlling, captivating. taking what is already yours. he is gold wrapped in skin, inescapably sweltering beneath your touch. liquid longing fills the void of cloying stillness, his gaze dragging lazily over your lips, your throat, the shell of your ear. your echoed stare is a live wire, leaping frantically from feature to feature. "you talk too much." the words ghost from your lips like silk. like a promise of calamity, of disaster.

his ears twitch, tracking the staggered cadence of your breath. "you keep lookin’ at me like that,” he drawls, smirk broadening, "and i’m gonna start thinkin’ you wanna do somethin’ about it."

and for once, you do.

you yank him forward, crushing your mouth to his with enough force to bruise. his answering groan reverberates down the channel of your throat as his teeth catch your lower lip, eyes eclipsed by the storm-black of his pupils. he does not hesitate to lay claim. does not hesitate to anchor your body against his, swallowing your startled yelp. it is animal, the festering in his chest. lust. it makes devils of good men. makes massacres of soldiers.

"'s this what you wanted? huh?" his hands palm the outline of your chest, marveling at the artificial ribcage his fingers provide. (he resists the urge to nip at the indentation of your collarbones, at the dainty bone lining the column of your throat). your hands scramble for his biceps when he slots an arm underneath your thighs and single-handedly places you on the counter. "yeah, y'did."

"shut up," you whimper, and oh, fuck, his teeth ache. there is no bite to your bark, a weak imitation of resolve hovering in the air between you. "j-just shut up."

"nah." jake stands as he slots a thigh between your legs, parting them around the intrusion. his mouth moves south to taste the damp skin of your pulse point, salty musk exploding on the base of his tongue as he sinks to his knees. (and he'd pray to you, if he could. would bring you trinkets at an altar made of gold. would stroke his cock right there, at the edge of your world and his, begging for you to touch him.) "i think y'like it when i talk." his nostrils flare. "can smell it on you."

the cotton of your shirt doesn't stand a chance; it tears like aged paper beneath his hands, splitting stitches merely rendered a casualty of his need. your entire body jolts, mouth poised in a soundless gasp as his name tumbles out of your mouth, caught in a dangerous balance of shock and rapture. his grin widens. "could fit all of you in 'ere," jake breathes in wonder, fingers unfurling against the expanse of your ribcage, cyan thumbs hooking under the padded fabric of your bra. "in my hands."

"god." the word rips from your throat, breathless, a prayer to something holy. something sacred. your head drops forward in surrender, forehead pressed against the sharp curve of his collarbone. his hands are everywhere—everywhere, everything, all at once—as the clasp of your bra gives way and his tongue draws forward to trace agonizingly slow circles against the side of your breast, just an inch from the growing tightness throbbing beneath your skin. "someone—someone could see us—"

"let 'em." it is sacrilegious, your little whimper, the way it escapes from the corner of your mouth. it instigates sin. calls upon forces beyond his better judgement, beyond plain, good common sense. beyond right and wrong. his fangs graze your nipple, and a harsh breath catches halfway up your throat, the hand in his hair tightening around his kuru {braid} instinctively. he chokes roughly, slicing through the silence with a drawling inhale. (careful, pretty.) a shameful blush paints your cheeks in mahogany as your hands trail downward, tracing the corner of his mouth with the pad of your thumb. (there is but a single strand of mangled control holding him together, and the second he snaps—).

all it takes is one, broad palm flat against your sternum for your shoulder blades to kiss the cold metal of the table underneath you. pinned. (trapped). he tears into you like scripture. devouring not with mercy, not with patience—but with reverence. with ecstasy. it is simply a testament to the ruinous want stitched into the carbon-fiber of his bones, a hunger that has kept him starving, aching, waiting. your breath stutters, wrecked and disparately shallow, slipping from your lips in uneven waves. (he has never wanted anything the way he wants you. has never even known he could want something this damn much. and yet here you are, in front of him, his pretty little girl—). you lift your hips obediently when his hands slip under your leggings, earning a low hum of approval as he tugs at the panties clinging wetly to your cunt, leaving both in a haphazard tangle around your ankles. his thumb presses into your pulse, feeling for frantic jump in your heartbeat.

"look at you," he drawls, tone akin to that of a drawn-out prayer. his entire frame shakes, an embodiment of fraying restraint. "so pretty f'r me. fuckin' wet, too."

you only realize he's dipped inside you when the tip of his middle finger brushes the silken, pulsating center of your core, a stretch so deep it borders on cruel. your entire body jolts as your mouth falls open in in a soundless cry, fingernails clawing uselessly at the table’s edge. his groan bleeds through your ribs, settling into the hollows like a symphony only your bones remember. en echo of something long buried. "jake. jake, oh, fuck—"

"that's my name, baby," he mutters, thumb smearing through your slick, cautious circles gathered methodically around the tingling bundle of nerves at the apex of your thighs. (your arousal smells like rain, like velvet rose, like a hazy memory of a garden at dawn gnawing at his fraying conscious.) "jesus fuck, can't even get two fingers in 'ere, pretty. how're you gonna take my cock like this, huh?" the sound that rips from your throat in response is nothing human. his fangs flash crystal, scissoring hand devastatingly carving out space to fit himself in between the thighs of a body not meant to hold him. a body not meant for his hands to touch. (but it would take divine intervention to stop him now. he is a hound, an animal spoiled rotten by the scent of flesh. your flesh.)

your hips jerk at the unexpected sight of his middle and ring finger sinking into his mouth, leaving your empty cunt clenching around nothing. your pupils blow wide as he hums against the sweetness of you on his tongue, swiping the muscle downward to catch the droplets of milky white lingering across his knuckles. (he finds himself wondering if your tears will taste as good as your cunt does). his name escapes your lips in a whisper, trailing gently over the softness of your skin. your pulse is a wreckage beneath his palm as his mouth crashes over yours once more, the prickling rhythm erratic against the rounded edge of your ribs.

then—he moves. presses his weight over you, drags his mouth down the line of your jaw, your throat, the shallow depression of your clavicle. "been thinkin' about this," he rasps as your hands flutter uselessly at your sides, scrambling for purchase against the line of his torso. he ruts his hips ever-so slightly forward, harshly reminded of the painful hardness throbbing under his tewng {loincloth}. "for so long. fuckin'—jerked off t'you. had a real nice dream, once."

your voice is unbearably soft, enslaved to single-minded pleasure. "you d-dream about me?"

jake's breath hitches, heat grazing the sweat-slick line of your throat. "yeah, baby. tons." his steady stare brushes yours, sapphire flush painting his freckles in a shade of liquid ivory. "gets worse after seein' you. can't sleep for days w' you patterin' around in 'ere." he raises a hand in a slow arc, fingers wandering along the tender line of his temple as the other works the strings of his tewng {loincloth} loose. it falls, forgotten, and—oh. oh. your lips part around a soundless gasp, any sense of decorum failing you. the sight of him eclipses language itself, glowing pre-cum slathering his length in a starry sheen, flushed tip carved from material far more primal than skin. than muscle, than bone. you swallow, pulse skipping, and his cocky-eyed grin only grows.

shameless, he nocks the dripping slit against the tender mess of your folds, coating himself in your slick with an unbidden groan. "wanna take samples? 's better than norm's, i promise."

"jake—oh my god." he swallows your exclamation as his mouth claims the expanse of yours, hands branding heat along your ribs, your waist, the soft, trembling flesh of his thighs. his fingers wrap around your hips and pull, the blunt, aching weight of him nudging at your entrance. you whimper, dizzy with desire. "g-go slow," you slur, clambering for his shoulders, arching your back in an effort to appease the burn pulsating under your skin. light explodes behind your closed eyelids as he slowly—slowly—sinks the first inch inside; you seize, lower stomach contracting around the foreign intrusion. the stretch sings through you, the thick head of his cock cradled between your legs, and yet jake forces himself still, a vein pulsing in his forehead.

"lemme in, c'mon, pretty," jake pants, exhaling roughly through his nose. his cock throbs restlessly inside you as instinct claws at his spine, shaking with the urge to chase the relief of being fully sheathed, of simply forcing you down the rest of the way. he grits his teeth when you mewl, glimmering tears clinging to your waterline.

"'s not gonna fit," you howl, and guilt lances through him. (that's what he does with pretty things, isn't it? he breaks them. it's in his nature, written in the code of his biological being. he can't help himself, he's so sorry, pretty girl—)

"fuck," he chokes, languish enshrining the syllables in agony. his tail wraps around your calf, soothing. easing. "fucking shit, i'm so sorry, pretty—"

"hurts more when you stay still," you whisper, eyelashes damp where they flutter against the heat of your cheeks, and jake's breath pans over your throat in a sinking shudder. your vision spotlights as his fingers pull upward, reaching between your parted lips to gather the saliva pooling at the corner of your mouth. he kisses the shell of your ear as he strokes your spit lazily over his length, whining lowly at the lewdly-wet squelch. "d'you hear that?" his voice is enthralled. "that's you and me, baby."

your gaze flickers skyward, unfocused and glassy. mindless. (always thinking, aren't you, baby? he's happy to help you turn it off, if you'd let him. happy to strip you down to something soft, something malleable in his grasp—something that belongs only to him. it’s only fair. it’s what you deserve). a dark chuckle rumbles from his chest, sharp with satisfaction. (yeah, you'd like that, wouldn't you?).

he gives you no warning before taking hold of your hips, molding your lower body in a high arch, and sinking the rest of the way in.

"jake—!" his name leaves you in a breathless sob, a prayer, a curse, a requiem. you're nearly catatonic, twitching like you’ve been electrocuted as you spasm beneath his hands, the girth of him infiltrating the marrow of your bones, the lining of your ribs, the edges of your lungs. the dull ache in your stomach intensifies as his hips rut up, your head smacking against the ground as his ridged cock rams lecherously into the spongy entrance of your cervix. jake punches out a strangled laugh as your stomach mounds obscenely (frighteningly, if he were being honest with himself) to accommodate the sheer size of his length, a shaky hand reaching forward to feel for himself underneath your layers of quivering muscle. you jolt with a sharp cry, feet kicking helplessly in midair as tears spill in shimmering rivulets down your flushed cheeks. “so-“ he cuts himself off when your cunt, unable to squeeze around the girth of him, flutters achingly. begging for release. "tight. knew you'd be so fuckin' tight—"

he doesn't wait. can't. his hips roll forward, dragging another devastatingly thick thrust through the vice-like grip of your cunt, the sensation of him rearranging you from the inside out. his hand slips between your thighs (greedy, insistent), feeling for the slick heat pooling there, brushing over the tender, swollen knot of your clit. he drinks your shaky squeal, chest rising and falling in rapid succession as he folds forward, tongue swiping across your upper row of teeth. "jake,” you sob, a wrecked little thing, hands fisting in his braids, grasping for something, anything. "'m gonna cum—oh god, i wanna c—please, can i, jake, please—"

"w'me," jake manages to hiss, tongue swirling patterns into the wounded skin of your clavicle. the blunt tip of his cock twitches as his thrusts shallow, a moan purred into the junction between your neck and shoulder. the tightness in his stomach ebbs as the wet slap of your pelvis against his reverberates in the air, a symphony of noise escaping your throat as he fills your womb in thick, unrelenting waves of searing warmth. you sob raggedly in relief, convulsing under the weight of his palms, cleaving lines of deepening crimson in his back. (pretty little thing. so good for him. you'd let him do this every night, wouldn't you? would let him bury himself to the hilt until he flooded your cunt with his seed, would let him turn your pristine skin a splotchy, bruised shade of fuchsia.)

he thinks with his teeth, lovely girl, and you've got such a pretty neck.

note: WOW WHY DID THIS TAKE ME FOREVER?! i was so smut-stumped for whatever reason, so i apologize for the rushed ending and for the fact that i forgot to include jake taking sips of CO2 while he was in an oxygenated lab LOL (the stem girl in me is screaming at them having sex IN THE LAB). this one's for @pandoraslxna!! love always from lani!!

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