#spent so much time pretending to be someone i wasnt

[septemberkisses]

this past year the most important lesson that i learnt was that there's literally no need to play cool, or act as if you don't care in order to please people. instead, it's so so so important to be insane and passionate and intense, and to be loud in your existence; and whoever sticks around is meant for <3

[demonicdeviation]

Natalya and Alexei! my ‘end of the world’ ocs. Some info about them lifted from discord messages to my friends under the cut 

He's (Alexei) the deuteragonist along side an angry, traumatized 15 year old girl named Natalya that he acts kind of like an older brother to and a voice of reason (because someone needs to tell this hurting lonely child that you can reason your way out of a conflict and that stabbing isn't the only option)

tldr for the setting is that America dropped a nuclear bomb on the Ural Mountains in like 1985 and it cut the USSR the west off from Siberia completely, the rest of the world is falling apart but the story only really focuses on Siberia as a setting

technically they're Handmaids Tale ocs but I'm just taking the end of the world scenario Attwood set up and running with it in the complete opposite direction, I watched a single episode and went "americas a fundamentalist shitshow with sex slavery but how's the rest of the world handling the end of the world" and that led me to making these guys

[jakescapes]

𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕣𝕖'𝕤 𝕒𝕟𝕠𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕣 𝕤𝕚𝕕𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕕𝕠𝕟'𝕥 𝕜𝕟𝕠𝕨. (𝕡𝕒𝕣𝕥 1)

pairing: stalker!jake x reader (f)

synopsis: It all started when you met Jake Sim—the campus golden boy everyone adored. Charming, new, and impossible to resist, you quickly become his obsession. But as you fall deeper into his world, you realize the person you're falling for isn’t who he appears to be. And soon, you're trapped in a game you never agreed to play.

warnings: stalking, brief kissing in public, big tit reader, jake is kinda weird, panty sniffing, masturbation (m), light manipulation(?), part 1 is really not that bad tho, lmk if there are any more!

word count: 10.6k

author's note: so like i kinda hate this ㅠㅠ and i wasnt gonna make it into separate parts but i just wanna test the waters with this and see how much attention this will get first if that makes sense. also first time actually writing smut so idk if it sounds awkward, but pls give me any criticism you think needed! ty >.<

continue reading here

now playing: mind games by sickick

It all started when you met Jake Sim. He was the campus guy—popular with the girls, adored by the professors, the kind of person everyone gravitated towards, but still had the kind, innocent, and nerdy element to him. If there was a charity event, Jake was organizing it. If someone had tech problems, Jake was fixing them. He had this effortless way of making you feel like you were the center of the world when he spoke to you.

You weren't immune to it, either. As a new freshman, you’d heard his name long before you met him. So when you found yourself at a party a month into your first semester trying not to look out of place, Jake was the last person you expected to notice you.

You weren’t even supposed to be at that party. Crowded rooms filled with loud music and drunk strangers weren’t exactly your thing, but your new friend/roommate Ava insisted. She was the kind of girl who thrived in any social setting, the life of the party, effortlessly magnetic, something you learned the first day you moved in with her.

With her status as an upperclassman, she knew everyone worth knowing and had declared that you had to go to the “first party of the year” because it was “going to be epic.” So, naturally, she dragged you along.

Now you were nursing a watered-down drink in the corner of a house that smelled like cheap beer and vanilla-scented candles. Ava stood beside you, casually pointing out all the people she deemed “important”—guys and girls she seemed to have endless stories about, whether those memories were good, bad, or in between.

“Oh!” she said suddenly, nudging you with her elbow. “That’s Jake Sim over there. Real nice guy, everybody loves him.” 

You followed her gaze across the room. He was leaning against the kitchen counter, talking to a group of people who seemed completely captivated by whatever he was saying. Even from a distance, it was easy to see why. He had that kind of face—sharp jawline, warm smile, the perfect amount of confidence in the way he carried himself. His dark hair pushed back slightly over his forehead, like it had been styled that way on purpose. 

You nodded without saying anything.

“You know,” Ava smirked, “I feel like he’s been eyeing you across the room for a while.” 

You blinked, startled. “No he hasn’t.”

“Oh, he has. He’s doing that thing guys do where they pretend to listen to the conversation but keep glancing at you like you’re the main event.”

And who’s to say you weren’t the main event? Sure, this was your first official college party and the atmosphere felt a little out of your comfort zone, but it’s not like you spent your whole life as some awkward wallflower. You’re hot and you have what it takes to make men gawk and stop to stare at you on the streets. Even if you were oblivious about it. Even if you didn’t care. Plus you were a new, young face to the campus. And what do college boys with raging hormones love more than some new, hot, fresh meat?

You rolled your eyes, trying to brush it off. I mean, yeah, Jake was cute, but you weren’t going to entertain the idea of him eye fucking you across the room from your very tipsy friend who definitely should take it slow with the alcohol. You came here to accompany your friend, not for some popular boy. And that’s what you were going to do. At least that’s what you told yourself.

You couldn’t help sneaking another glance in his direction. Sure enough, his eyes met yours for probably the hundredth time that night. Your breath caught for half a second as he smiled. Not a quick, polite one, but the kind of cocky and sly smile that made it seem like he knew something you didn’t.

“See?” Ava whispered, “Told you.” Before you could argue, Jake excused himself from his group of drunk friends and started making his way towards you. Your instinct was to bolt, but Ava was quick to grab your arm, holding you in place. “Oh my god, he’s coming over here.”

“Shut up. Don’t make it weird,” you hissed under your breath.

“Me? Never,” she said, but the mischievous glint in her eyes told a different story.

Jake stopped a few feet away, holding a red solo cup in one hand, the other casually tucked into his pocket. “Hey,” he said, his voice so smooth but unassuming that for a second you didn’t know if he was talking to you or Ava, until his eyes eventually met yours. “I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Jake.”

You hesitated for a moment, your throat dry. But Ava on the other hand, ever the social butterfly, was already beaming with her response. “This is _____. She’s a freshman. And she’s my new roomie.” 

“Ah,” Jake said, his smile widening as he held out his hand. “Nice to meet you. Freshie huh? Welcome to the chaos. If you ever need a hand settling in, don’t hesitate to ask. I know Ava over here wasn’t exactly the most put-together during her freshman year,” he playfully teased.

Ava rolled her eyes, a smile tugging at her lips. “Yeah yeah, whatever,” she replied in defeat. You could tell they shared some history together, though the details weren’t something you cared to uncover at the moment.

You shook his hand, feeling his strong grip and his overwhelming gaze. “Thanks,” you managed to mumble, your voice quieter than you intended.

Ava, clearly delighted, nudged you again before stepping back. “I’m going to find another drink. You two have fun.” She shot you a not so discreet wink, one Jake clearly noticed. He responded with a low, undeniably attractive chuckle that stirred something inside you, something you knew you shouldn’t be feeling. 

And just like that, she was gone, leaving you alone with him.

Jake tilted his head slightly, studying you with an intensity that made you want to fidget. “So, what do you think of the party?” 

“It’s… loud.” 

He chuckled and you awkwardly laughed in return. “Yeah, not really my scene either,” he admitted. “I was actually about to head out. Want to join me? I know a quieter place where we can talk.” 

You hesitated, something about his directness caught you off guard. You’d been in similar situations like this before—situations where boys had tried to talk you into following them to their rooms and the like. Now, you weren’t inexperienced when it came to men, but a one night stand with someone you’ve been conversing with for about 45 seconds didn’t seem like something you were interested in at the moment. But that wasn’t what Jake was implying. You could tell he wasn’t like other guys in the past, the ones who were all too eager to make their intentions clear. There was something different about the way he carried himself. 

And something different, there definitely was. But we’ll get to that part later.

Jake was patiently waiting for your response while you contemplated. You looked up at him and he smiled again, that disarming, perfect smile, and for a moment, you forgot why you were even questioning it. 

“Sure,” you replied, not realizing then that this was the moment that everything in your life would change. 

------------------------------

“So,” you asked, glancing out the window at the quiet streets passing by, “where are we?”

Jake gave you a sideways glance, his hand relaxed on the wheel. “Just a spot I like. It’s nice to get away from all the noise sometimes, don’t you think?” His voice was warm, almost teasing, like he already knew you’d agree. 

You nodded, leaning back in your seat. “Yeah, I guess.” The party had been a bit much for your taste, and the idea of some quiet didn’t sound half bad. “Do you come here a lot?”

“Not really, I usually only bring people I actually want to talk to.”

Your cheeks warmed at that, and you looked down at your hands, fumbling with the hem of your dress. “Well, that’s nice of you.”

He chuckled softly. “It’s not about being nice. You just seemed different. Thought it might be worth getting to know you better.” 

His words caught you off guard, not knowing whether to take it as a compliment or not, but the way he said them felt so genuine, so effortlessly charming, that you couldn’t help but smile. “Different how?”

He shrugged, his eyes flickering to you briefly before returning to the road. “You’re not like everyone else. You’re not trying too hard, you’re just… you. It’s refreshing.”

Even though it sounded so cliché, he wasn’t lying. But it’s not like you were trying to be different. I mean, it wasn’t hard for someone like you to stand out from a crowd of drunk girls, definitely trusting their tiny tops and micro shorts way more than they should, especially at a college party, basking in the attention of young, hungry men. But maybe that’s what they wanted. Maybe they want the recognition, the attention. You don’t. Not because you couldn’t pull it off—you could—but you didn’t care to. You weren’t there for the feeling of lingering eyes on you, and that was obvious to anyone paying close enough attention. And Jake paid attention. Oh, he did for sure. The moment you walked in the room, he noticed the way you carried yourself, not chasing the spotlight like others. And also mostly because you weren’t trying to whore yourself out at every given moment like everyone else, girl or guy. But it intrigued him, igniting a flicker of curiosity and a peculiar intent that he’d never felt before in the back of his mind. 

You let out a soft laugh, unsure of how to respond. “Well, thanks, I guess.”

Jake’s grin widened. “Don’t mention it.” 

As the car slowed and he turned down a quiet street, you realized you weren’t sure where you were, but the thought barely lingered. Something about the way he spoke made it hard to think too much. It felt easy, almost natural, to trust him. And that was the scariest part.

------------------------------

The door clicked shut behind you, and before you even had a chance to set your bag down, Ava was already perched on her bed, eyes sparkling with curiosity. 

“So,” she grinned, tucking her legs under her, “how was it?”

“How was what?” you asked, feigning oblivion as you dropped your bag onto your chair.

Your roommate groaned dramatically, sitting up straighter on her bed. “The date! You leave me in the middle of a party that you were supposed to be my date for, with the most popular guy on campus!”

You rolled your eyes and crossed your arms. “It wasn’t a date. We just… hung out.” You tried your best to sound indifferent, but Ava was already grinning.

“Whatever it was, tell me!” she demanded, practically bouncing on her bed.

“It was... nice,” you replied, trying to sound casual as you kicked off your shoes.

“Nice? That’s all I’m getting? Did you guys talk? Do anything?”

“No, we didn’t do anything. And I didn’t want to anyway. He was very respectful.”

“Of course he was,” Ava said, throwing her hands up like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “I mean, it’s Jake we’re talking about here. The guy’s practically perfect. Teachers love him, girls worship him, and he still manages to have this whole humble, good guy image.”

You let out a small laugh, shaking your head. “Exactly. Nothing shocking there.”

“Still, I just had a feeling he’d be different with you.”

You froze for a second, glancing at her. “Different? Why?”

“Because I’ve seen how he is with other girls. Trust me, they throw themselves at him all the time, and he’s always so polite about it, but he never seems interested. He doesn’t make the first move. Ever.” She shrugged, as if it were no big deal. “But tonight? He came straight for you.”

You shrugged back, brushing her comment off with a small laugh. “I think you’re reading too much into it. He was just being nice.”

Ava raised an eyebrow, clearly unconvinced, but she didn’t push further. And you? You kept brushing it off, like you always did.

------------------------------

As you walked back into your shared living room after your nightly shower and routine in the bathroom, you glanced over at Ava. “Hey, by the way, what did Jake mean earlier? You know, when he said you ‘weren’t the most put-together’ during your freshman year?”

She just snorts, clearly unbothered by the memory. “Oh, that. Yeah, I was kind of a hot mess back then. Partied a lot, made some questionable choices. But, hey, isn’t that what college is for?”

You chuckled. Makes complete sense, honestly. “I was just curious. For a second, I thought maybe you two had a thing or something.”

“A thing? Well… kind of.”

Your head snapped up.

She shrugged casually, like she was recounting a minor detail. “There was this one party my freshman year. We were playing spin the bottle, and it landed on Jake. So, yeah, we kissed. Or, well, made out. But it only happened once.”

You blinked, not sure how to respond. “Oh. Uh, okay.”

“It wasn’t a big deal, I swear. It was years ago, and neither of us cared enough to make it weird. It’s not like it’s awkward or anything now. We don’t even bring it up.”

You nodded slowly, trying to process the new information. “Got it. Not jealous or anything,” you muttered, mostly to yourself, though the thought does linger for a second. It’s not like you had any claims on Jake, but… still.

“Good. Because honestly, you and Jake? Totally different vibe. I think it’s cute.”

You rolled your eyes, grabbing your water bottle to avoid letting the conversation stretch any further.

------------------------------

A few days later, Jake was leaned back against the couch in his apartment, a half-empty can of soda resting loosely in his hand. His friends were scattered across the room, voices bouncing off the walls as they talked about the usual—classes, campus drama, upcoming events—but his mind was somewhere else entirely.

“So, what’s with you?” Jay, his closest friend, asked, nudging him with his foot from across the coffee table.

Jake blinked, realizing he’d been quiet for too long. “What?”

“You’ve been zoning out for the past five minutes. Let me guess, girl troubles?”

That got the attention of the others. “Girl troubles? Jake Sim?” Sunghoon chimed in, laughing. “Yeah, right.”

Jake shrugged, pretending to be nonchalant, but the small, almost imperceptible grin tugging at his lips gave him away. “It’s not like that.”

“It’s totally like that,” Jay teased. “C’mon, spill.”

He hesitated, running a hand through his hair. “Her name’s _____. I met her at that party the other night.”

“Wait, the one you ditched us for?” 

Jake just chuckled and nodded, his gaze dropping to the can in his hand. “Yeah. Her.”

Then Jay let out a low whistle. “Damn, guess I never expected you to be the one to take the lead for once.”

“It’s not about that,” Jake said quickly. “She’s just different. She doesn’t try to stand out, but she does. I don’t know, man. She’s—” He stopped himself, shaking his head with a faint chuckle. “Forget it.”

“No, no, keep going,” Sunghoon pressed, leaning forward. “You’re actually into her, aren’t you?”

Jake didn’t respond, but the way his jaw tensed and his eyes flicked away said enough.

“Wow, well, I mean, good for you, dude. She’s gorgeous. Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if half the guys on campus are already trying to get her attention.” Jay implied. 

That comment sent an unexpected pang through Jake’s chest. He tried to dismiss it, but the thought lingered, other guys noticing you, talking to you, maybe even flirting with you.

“She doesn’t seem like the type to fall for just anyone,” Jake said, though it sounded more like he was trying to convince himself. 

“True,” Sunghoon agreed. “But still. She’s new, she’s pretty, and she’s got that whole ‘mystery girl’ vibe going on. Trust me, people are going to notice her.”

Jake forced a laugh, but the unease was already settling in the back of his mind. You didn’t seem like the type to entertain random guys, but the idea of someone else getting too close to you didn’t sit right with him.

The thought stayed with him long after his friends had moved on to another topic. It wasn’t jealousy, he told himself. It was just concern. You were new to campus, probably still finding your footing, and he didn’t want anyone to take advantage of that.

He told himself it was harmless as the idea began to form in his mind. Just checking in on you, making sure you were okay. Not in an overbearing way, of course. You wouldn’t even know. It was just the right thing to do.

And if it gave him peace of mind? Well, that was just a bonus.

That night, Jake sat hunched in front of his glowing PC screen, the only light in his room casting long shadows across his walls. His fingers hovered over the keyboard with an eager sort of precision, scrolling through page after page. What was he looking for? You. Only you.

It wasn’t like him, spending hours like this, completely absorbed in something he couldn’t explain. But there was something about you that was different. Like an itch he couldn’t ignore, let alone resist scratching.

Finding your Instagram hadn’t taken long. A couple of clicks here, a mutual tag there, and suddenly your whole world was laid out before him. Your name. Your face. Your posts. From there, it was a rabbit hole he couldn’t help but dive into. Facebook? Found it. Tumblr? Found it. Pinterest? Of course. Each new profile unlocked a little piece of you, a puzzle he was determined to solve.

Hours passed, and Jake found himself digging deeper, further back into your life than he had any business going. He paused on a blurry group photo from high school, his eyes immediately locking onto you. Awkward braces, a side ponytail, and a shy smile that tugged at something strange in his chest. He chuckled softly to himself, his lips curving into a grin.

“Cute.”

The realization of how long he’d been doing this emerged at the edge of his mind, but he was quick to brush it off. I mean, who doesn’t do this? Everyone stalks their crush. It’s not weird. It’s normal. He was just curious. That’s all.

And yet, even as he closed out one tab and opened another, Jake couldn’t shake the nagging sense that this wasn’t enough. The photos, the posts, the snippets of your life he was piecing together, they still felt distant, impersonal. He wanted more. Needed more.

His hand hovered over the mouse for a moment before he opened Instagram again, pulling up your most recent story. You were out earlier with a friend, walking with a coffee in hand, the city bustling in the background. It was mundane, ordinary. But to him, it was fascinating. 

You were almost like an unsolved case to him. Every photo, every caption, every comment was a clue, something to dissect and overanalyze. The way you angled your head in selfies, the way you always seemed to wear rings on your right hand. Did that mean something? Maybe it was just a habit, or maybe it wasn’t. He didn’t know, but the not knowing made him dig deeper. Each little detail was like a breadcrumb leading him further down a path he couldn’t stop following. 

It boosted him. Every new discovery sent a thrill rushing through him, like solving the next piece of a complex puzzle. The high school photos, the forgotten Pinterest boards filled with dreamy quotes and wedding décor. He was piecing together a version of you even you didn’t know you’d left behind.

The rational part of him, however, it was there. Buried somewhere, trying to surface, to remind him that this wasn’t normal, that this wasn’t healthy. But the excitement, the adrenaline of knowing so much about you, drowned it out every time. You were fascinating. You were beautiful. And you didn’t even know it, but by leaving that party with him that one night, you were letting him into your world.

It felt intimate. Special. Like he was uncovering the real you, the one hidden behind the edited photos and casual captions. And Jake? Jake couldn’t get enough.

He leaned back in his chair, his eyes flickering to the clock. It was late. Too late to still be sitting here. But he didn’t care. You were under his skin now, in his mind, in his every thought.

And he convinced himself, once again, that this was fine. Perfectly fine. He was just looking. There's nothing wrong with looking. 

Right?

He didn’t notice it yet, but he was crossing a line he didn’t realize he was already standing over.

------------------------------

It was a perfectly normal Saturday afternoon. You were at the local grocery store, a basket in hand as you roamed the aisles, debating between two different brands of pasta. The store was buzzing with life. Kids whining for candy, parents arguing over coupons, the hum of soft pop music barely audible over the chatter.

You were zoning out, staring at the shelves, when a familiar voice startled you.

“Hey, fancy seeing you here.”

You turned sharply, and there he was. Jake. Dressed in a simple hoodie and jeans, he looked casual and relaxed, the epitome of “guy next door.”

“Oh. Hey, Jake. What’re you doing here?”

“Grocery shopping, same as you,” he said with a grin. “Though I’ll admit, I didn’t expect to run into you.”

You smiled politely, feeling a little awkward. “Yeah, small world.” And it was then that you realized Jake wasn’t holding a basket or a grocery cart at all. You glanced down at your own, practically overflowing with items, while he stood there empty handed. Maybe he had stopped by to grab something quick. 

He glanced at the shelves, his eyes scanning the items before landing back on you. “Pasta night?”

You held up the two boxes in your hands. “Debating between these two. Any recommendations?”

He stepped closer, pretending to study the boxes like it was a life or death decision. “Well, this brand’s sauce clings better,” he said, pointing to one, “but this one’s texture is nicer. Depends on what you’re going for.”

“I didn’t know you were a pasta expert.”

He grinned. “There’s a lot you don’t know about me.” 

And for some reason, that stuck with you. You had this feeling that he was being truthful, but not in a good way. Like there was more to that statement than he was letting on, something hidden beneath the surface. A part of you couldn’t ignore the unease creeping up your spine, but his smile was so convincing, that you pushed the thought aside. Maybe you were overthinking it.

You shook your head, putting one box back and dropping the other into your basket. “Good to know. Maybe next time I’ll consult you for my grocery list.”

He chuckled, his gaze lingering on you for a moment longer than felt necessary. “I’ll hold you to that.”

The two of you ended up walking through the aisles together, Jake casually slipping into conversation as if this wasn’t entirely coincidental. He asked you about your week, made jokes about the odd products on the shelves, and even recommended a snack or two that he claimed was “life changing.”

It was easy to forget the awkwardness at first, Jake was good at that. He made people feel comfortable, like you were the only person in the room, even if it was just a crowded grocery store.

But as the conversation went on, little things started to feel… off.

Like how he seemed to know exactly what aisle you were heading to next, always a step ahead, grabbing things you hadn’t even noticed. Or how he mentioned a specific brand of matcha you liked, something you didn’t recall ever telling him.

Or when you turned to grab a few more things, and you noticed Jake picking up items—fruits, snacks, even the same brand of shampoo you had chosen—things that seemed oddly familiar to what you were already grabbing. You glanced back down at your basket to where you noticed Jake running out of room, even in his big arms, that he had casually started to place some of his items in your basket, almost absentmindedly. 

At first, it was just a few, but then his arms began to overflow with more things. You couldn’t help but notice how he seemed to be running out of room. His hands were awkwardly balancing a few cans, some fruit, and the bottle of shampoo, all piled up like a small tower. It was kind of cute.

"Uh, you might want to grab a basket," you said, eyeing the growing pile in his arms. "I don’t think you’ll fit everything."

Jake looked down at his arms, then back at you with a slight laugh. “Oh, right. Thanks for the reminder.”

He glanced around awkwardly, like it hadn’t even occurred to him. 

I mean that was kind of weird, right? The thought lingered, but you brushed it off as you continued your shopping. 

And then there was the moment at checkout.

You were unloading your basket onto the conveyor belt when Jake casually reached for the same brand of chocolate you’d grabbed earlier, dropping it into his basket with a small smile.

“What?” he asked when he noticed your raised brow. “You have good taste.”

It was harmless. But the way he casually mirrored your actions, not just then, but from the moment you saw him in the store, you’ve noticed how it seems like he’s not just casually shopping, but actively observing you and somehow always knows what your next move is. 

Maybe you’re just being paranoid. It’s getting late after all, the sun is beginning to set and here you are, with a guy you don’t really know all that well. Of course you’re going to be a little on edge. It’s just womanly instincts.

But as you walked out of the store, bags in hand, and saw him heading in the same direction as you—despite you being certain he lived on the other side of campus—that faint unease crept back in.

“Need help carrying those?” he offered, gesturing to your bags.

You shook your head quickly. “No, I’m good. Thanks, though.”

He nodded, still smiling. “Alright. See you around, then.”

And as you started walking away, you couldn’t shake the feeling that his gaze lingered just a little too long, like a predator waiting for the perfect moment to pounce on their prey. It was subtle, but the intensity of his stare made the hairs on the back of your neck stand up, even as his smile never wavered. You tried to dismiss it, telling yourself it was probably just your imagination running wild. After all, it’s Jake. Everyone loves him.

------------------------------

"So, Jake asked about you," Ava said casually as she applied her mascara, sitting across the room.

"Wait, what?" you asked, sitting up from your bed. It was 7 a.m. in the morning, and you had just been jolted awake by your roommate’s loud music blasting from the bathroom a few minutes ago.

"Yeah, said something about how he wants to ask you out. Take you on a real nice date. Then end it off with spreading your legs in the back of his car."

You froze, your heart racing in your chest. “Wait, what.”

Your silence was then followed by laughter. "Oh my god! I’m joking!"

You let out a huge sigh of relief, but then you playfully shot her a look. "Ava, do not play with me like that." But honestly, you were kind of serious too.

She shot you a grin, clearly amused. "Oh, come on, you’re so easy to mess with. But seriously, you know you wished I wasn’t joking.”

You rolled your eyes at Ava’s teasing and went back to scrolling on your phone. “Yeah, okay,” you muttered, not giving it much thought.

“He did actually say something about asking you out, though.”

You paused, glancing up at her again. “Are you messing with me?”

She swore up and down, looking completely sincere. “No, I’m telling you the truth. He said he wanted to take you out for a nice date. That’s what he told me.”

“I still don’t buy it.”

“I swear on everything, I’m not lying!” Ava’s voice was insistent now. “So what’s the deal? You gonna go?”

You hesitated, unsure. “I don’t know…”

“What do you mean, you don’t know?” Ava scoffed, clearly frustrated. “Girl, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity. Every girl wants a night out with Jake. You’d be crazy not to go.”

You chewed on your lip, contemplating her words. It's not that you wouldn't enjoy going out with Jake, it's just that something about him still unsettled you. You couldn't quite put your finger on it, but there were moments where the way he looked at you, or the way he seemed to know a little too much about you, made you feel like you were under a microscope. It wasn’t overly creepy, but there was an underlying tension that you couldn’t ignore.

Still, you couldn’t deny that you liked his company. He was charming, funny, and his attention was flattering, sometimes even a little intoxicating. But you weren’t sure if it was just his charm that kept you second guessing those little moments that made you feel unsure

“It’s not like that. I mean… he’s nice, and he’s funny, and I enjoy being around him. But, I don’t know. Sometimes, I just feel kind of weird around him. Like, there’s something about him that makes me feel uneasy. It’s like… something’s off.”

Ava tilted her head, unimpressed. “You’re being paranoid. Honestly, I never feel that way around him. He’s always been chill, and I’m sure he’s just trying to make a move on you. Stop second guessing it, okay?”

You sighed, but Ava wasn’t having it. She was determined to get you to say yes. 

And honestly speaking, a part of you wanted to get to know him more too. He definitely knew how to make a girl laugh, and he was great at contributing to conversations. There was an ease to the way he spoke, like he was genuinely interested in whatever you had to say. And you couldn't deny that there was a certain chemistry between you two. He was charming, effortlessly so, and that smile of his? It melted you every time.

You were sure he was a great kisser too. I mean, those plump lips of his didn’t look like they lied. They were always so close, so inviting. The thought of it made your pulse quicken a little, despite yourself.

So, why not let yourself live a little? Everyone around you was practically begging you to take the plunge. Ava was begging you to go and she knows him better then you do, so when she means he's no harm, she can't be lying. You could use a night of fun, a little excitement. It didn’t have to be anything more than that. After all, he was just a guy. It wasn’t like you were doing anything wrong by saying yes, right?

So a few days later, when you saw Jake waiting outside of your class and finally asked you on a date, you had no reason to say no.

------------------------------

So here you were. At the edge of a nice lake surrounded by a cute park. Jake beside you, rambling on about some random topic that, honestly, you weren’t even sure you were fully listening to. He had a way of talking, of keeping the conversation flowing smoothly, making it feel like you were the only two people in the world. His voice was soft, relaxed, and as he gestured with his hands, you couldn’t help but watch the way his muscles flexed under the sleeves of his shirt.

You'd almost forgotten why you were so nervous about meeting up with Jake in the first place. The whole thing felt so natural now, so effortless. His laugh was contagious, his stories engaging, and his presence so easy to enjoy. As the sun started to dip lower in the sky, casting a warm golden glow over everything, you found yourself laughing more than you had in weeks, the worries and uncertainties slipping away.

“So,” you said casually, glancing over at him, “what exactly are you majoring in, by the way?”

“I’m in engineering. Tech stuff.” He shrugged like it was no big deal, but you could tell by his tone that he took pride in it. “It’s all about computers, networks, systems, you know? It comes in pretty handy,” he added with a sly wink.

“Handy?”

He chuckled softly. “Yeah. I mean, you never know when a little extra knowledge can be useful. You’d be surprised at how helpful it is until you need it,” he said, his eyes narrowing slightly as if implying something more, but before you could react, he eventually changed the subject.

You two wandered the park, your footsteps light, side by side, as you talked about everything and nothing. The air was crisp and refreshing, and the sounds of the nearby water and chirping birds only added to the peaceful vibe. The awkward tension you'd felt in previous encounters with Jake was now a distant memory.

But as the sky darkened, and the park became quieter, something shifted between the two of you. It wasn’t anything obvious, but there was this electricity in the air that hadn’t been there before. It was like everything had led to this moment.

You both stopped by the water, your shoes crunching against the gravel path as you looked out over the lake. The soft waves lapping at the shore reflected the dimming sky, and for a moment, the world around you felt suspended in time. Jake leaned a little closer, his arm brushing against yours as he turned to face you.

"I’m glad we did this," he murmured, his voice soft, almost too sincere.

You smiled, feeling a warmth spread through you that had nothing to do with the summer evening air. "Me too."

And then, without warning, Jake’s hand cupped your cheek, and he kissed you. It was gentle at first, just a soft press of lips, and it shocked you definitely, but you melted into it, letting go of any lingering hesitation. His lips were warm, his touch delicate, and for that brief moment, you forgot about everything—forgot about the nagging thoughts that had been chasing you all day.

But then, suddenly, the kiss deepened. His hands moved to your waist, pulling you closer as the kiss turned more urgent, more demanding. His lips were now on yours with an intensity that surprised you, and before you knew it, you were pressed up against him, his body a solid wall against yours. His hand gripped your hips so tight that it sent your mind into a frenzy as he groaned loudly against your lips.

You pulled away for a split second, your heart racing. "Jake... we’re in public," you whispered, your voice shaking slightly.

But he didn’t stop. Instead, he kissed you even harder and took this opportunity to slip his tongue inside your mouth, his hands now reaching further and further down your waist, pulling you towards him. The world around you felt blurry, as if you were floating in a bubble of his touch, and for a moment, you forgot where you were, who you were with—forgot about everything except him.

But then reality came crashing back in seconds. You broke free from the kiss, taking a step back, your breath coming fast. "Jake," you said, voice shaky, "we’re outside. There are other people around." You glanced around nervously, your eyes darting over the now dark park, thankful that no one was nearby but still aware that you were far from alone.

Jake just looked at you, his expression still soft but with a glimmer of mischief in his eyes. "Oh, sorry. I’ve just been really wanting to do that," he said casually, like it was no big deal.

You weren’t sure how to feel about his nonchalance, but you tried to dismiss it, even though a knot formed in your stomach. "Right," you muttered, taking a breath to calm yourself.

For a moment, the air between you both felt charged, and you couldn’t shake the feeling that maybe things were moving faster than you were ready for. But as Jake stepped back with a small grin, his eyes still warm, you felt yourself ease back into the moment, convincing yourself it was just him being... well, Jake. Charming, spontaneous, and maybe a little bit too eager.

So, when he grabbed you by the arm with a playful grin and said, “Come on, I know this great dessert place,” practically dragging you along with him, you told yourself this was just Jake’s way of showing he cared. You told yourself there was no harm in it. Jake was just spirited, maybe a little intense, but in a charming way. That’s all it was.

The rest of the night went smoothly enough, or at least it seemed like it. You talked and laughed some more, and by the time Jake dropped you off in front of your apartment, you found yourself in a bit of a daze. The streetlights cast long shadows, but all you could focus on was the lingering feeling from earlier. The kiss—the intensity of it, the way he didn’t seem to care about where he was or who might see. You’d been caught up in the moment, but now that it was over, that uneasy knot was back in your stomach.

"Thanks for tonight," you said, your voice a little quieter than you intended as you unbuckled your seatbelt.

Jake turned to look at you, his eyes soft, almost too sincere. "Anytime. Let me know when you want to do this again."

"Yeah, I will." You hesitated for a second, unsure if you should say more, but then the words just seemed to evaporate. Instead, you opened the door, stepping out and giving him a small wave as you walked up to your apartment.

As you entered the building, your thoughts kept circling back to that kiss, to his lack of concern about where you were or who might be watching. You’d had fun, no doubt, but there was a part of you that couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off.

You tried to push the thoughts aside, telling yourself you were overthinking it. Maybe it was nothing. Maybe he was just that kind of guy. But the unease in your chest only grew heavier as you walked to your room, and you couldn’t help but wonder if you were starting to see him for who he really was.

------------------------------

You and Jake had started hanging out more and more after that date, and you couldn't deny it, you were falling for him more than you expected. Sure, sometimes he did stuff that made you question things, but he wasn’t perfect. So what?

Today, you were studying for some upcoming exams at the school library. The space was quiet, and even though you were focused on your work, you enjoyed having him there. Jake had brought you both coffee and snacks, and the atmosphere felt warm and cozy. You were sitting across from each other, the constant clicking of keyboards the only sound in the otherwise still room. It was a perfect setting, relaxed, comfortable, and you found his presence quite calming. It only felt natural.

“One sec, I’ll be right back. I have to use the bathroom,” you announced, getting up from your chair.

Jake didn’t say anything and just nodded, his eyes still glued to his screen, focused on whatever was on his laptop. But as soon as your back was turned and you were walking away, Jake’s attention shifted.

His eyes landed on your bag, which was slung over the back of the chair next to where you were just sitting a few moments ago. The handle of your tote peeked out from the side, and something shiny caught his eye. It was your keyring. The familiar silver glint of your room key sat half-hidden inside your bag. You must’ve forgotten to tuck it deeper, but it was unmistakable.

Jake’s gaze lingered on it for a moment longer than usual. He looked around, ensuring no one was watching, before reaching over with careful fingers. The motion was almost imperceptible, but he slid the key out of your bag, letting them rest lightly in his palm. He checked the surrounding area once again. No one was looking.

His pulse quickened just a little, the thrill of the action sinking in. You were gone, out of sight, leaving him with this small window of opportunity.

He looked at the keys. They weren’t just any keys—they were a way in. 

Jake sat there for a moment, the keys tucked securely in his pocket, a sense of satisfaction bubbling in his chest. He knew it was a little risky, but it was too perfect to pass up.

He glanced around again, making sure no one had seen. This wasn’t some spur-of-the-moment decision—he’d considered this before, the idea quietly simmering in the back of his mind.

He’d thought about sneaking into your room before, just out of curiosity (or so he told himself). But he never quite figured out how he’d do it without raising suspicion. The idea had first occurred to him a while back when he submitted a 3D-printed model of a robot for his tech project. It wasn’t just a cool demonstration of precision, it was proof of how easy it would be to replicate almost anything if he had the right dimensions.

Now, with your keys in his possession, that idle thought from a while ago clicked into place. The perfect way to turn a passing fantasy into something tangible.

It wasn’t like it would be hard to replicate the keys. After all, he was an engineering major. He had the skills. The tools. The knowledge. With the advanced tech available to him, specifically his access to the 3D printers in the lab, replicating those keys would be a breeze. The thought was almost laughable. No one would be the wiser. 

The more he thought about it, the more the plan excited him. He could “find” the real key after he made the spare, casually give it back to you later, and look like the hero. The savior. You’d think he was just looking out for you, a kind guy who happened to stumble across your lost key. The hero who went the extra mile to return something precious. 

And you’d never know he’d taken it in the first place. Hell, you might even think it was a sweet gesture.

A small, almost smug smile crept onto his face as he imagined it. He liked the idea of being the guy who could fix everything for you, who could always be the one to make things right. In your eyes, he'd be the one who cared, who was always there for you, just the kind of guy you'd want to be with.

The plan felt so natural, so flawless. He didn’t even feel guilty. It was for you, after all. It wasn’t like he was doing anything wrong. Just helping you out in the best way possible. It would only bring him closer to you, make you appreciate him even more. 

You came back from the bathroom a few minutes later, the library air still cool and comforting as you settled back into your seat. Lost in your own thoughts, you picked up where you left off in your study notes. The soft clicking of your laptop keys and the rustling of paper were the only sounds filling the space between you and Jake. It wasn’t until you stood up to gather your things, ready to head out, that you noticed something was off.

You dug through your bag, feeling around for your keys, the ones you’d left in there earlier. But they weren’t there.

You froze for a second, your eyes scanning the table and the chair you’d been sitting in. It was only then that you realized they weren’t in your bag at all.

“What?” you muttered, frowning as you scanned the surface of the table. “Where did I put my keys? Jake, have you seen them?”

He was already standing up and grabbing his things by the time, pausing for a second and giving you a slight shrug. “No, haven’t seen them,” he said, as he put on his best “confused” face, sounding completely genuine. “You’re sure you put them in there?”

You nodded, trying not to panic. “Yeah, I’m sure.”

“Well, if they’re not in your bag, maybe you forgot to bring them. They’re probably somewhere in your room still. I’m sure they’ll turn up.”

There was a little panic in your voice as you started to shuffle through your things. “But I could’ve sworn I left them right here…”

“You don’t have a backup key or something?”

You sighed, realizing you hadn’t thought this through. “No. It’s fine though, Ava’s home. She can let me in. I’ll just buy a new one later.”

Jake smiled a little wider, his mind already running through possibilities, but he kept his tone light. “Alright, guess that works.”

You still seemed a little confused, but the moment passed. You dropped the subject and started talking about something else while you two were getting ready to leave. But Jake could tell—you were distracted now, just a little bit. He’d planted the seed. Maybe you’d brush it off, or maybe you wouldn’t. Either way, he was confident it would only matter if he wanted it to. 

When you both walked out of the library building, the late afternoon sun casting long shadows across the campus, Jake slipped his bag over his shoulder and turned to you with an easy smile.

“So, I think I’m going to head home and get some rest,” Jake said.

You nodded, still rummaging through your bag, trying to keep your mind off the missing keys. “Yeah, same. I’ll probably head home too.”

"Sure thing. Have a good night."

“Night.”

Then you walked away, completely unaware of the keys now nestled in his pocket, Jake’s expression shifted. That easygoing smile lingered, but there was a sharpness in his eyes, a focus. He wasn’t heading home, not yet, anyway.

Instead, he made his way across campus to the engineering building. The hallways were mostly empty at this hour, the hum of the fluorescent lights echoing faintly. Jake swiped his student ID at the lab room door, stepping inside to the familiar scent of metal and machinery. The quiet whir of the 3D printers waiting in the corner greeted him, and he felt a surge of anticipation.

Pulling your keys out of his pocket, he set them down on the workstation. His fingers worked intently with great focus as he measured and scanned the key, inputting the data into the design software. The model on the screen was precise, the ridges and cuts an exact match to the original.

As the printer came to life, Jake leaned back in his chair, a faint grin tugging at the corner of his mouth. By the time the printer finished its work, the replica key was indistinguishable from the original. Jake inspected it carefully, his mind already running through how he’d “find” your keys and return them to you, playing the part of the helpful friend. You’d never suspect a thing.

Pocketing both the original and the replica, Jake left the lab, the grin still lingering on his face as he made his way home. 

------------------------------

The next day, Jake managed to find you after class. “Hey, look what I found at the bottom of my laptop bag,” he said, holding up your keys with a triumphant smile.

Your eyes lit up as you recognized them. “Oh my god, no way.”

“Yeah, guess you must’ve accidentally dropped them into my bag instead of yours. Good thing I noticed before it got buried under all my stuff.”

You let out a relieved sigh, taking the keys from him. “Seriously, you’re a lifesaver. I was about to go buy a new one.”

Jake chuckled, shoving his hands into his pockets. “Well, glad I could spare you the hassle. So… are you free today? Thought maybe we could grab some food or something.”

You gave him an apologetic smile. “Oh, sorry. Me and Ava already made plans. We’re going shopping downtown, actually.”

For a brief second, Jake’s expression faltered, feeling disappointed. But just as quickly, it was gone, replaced by a soft smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Oh, no worries. You two have fun.”

He hesitated for a moment, then added, “What time are you heading out? Just curious.”

“Uh, probably around noon,” you said, shrugging. 

“I see. Cool. Anyway, have fun. Maybe we can hang out later this week.”

You smiled and nodded before heading off, completely unaware of the shift in Jake’s demeanor as you walked away. If you were going to be gone for hours, that left him with the perfect opportunity.

------------------------------

Jake’s heart raced as he stood in front of your door. This was it. He had thought about this moment so many times in his mind, playing out every detail, and now, with your absence leaving him a window of opportunity, he was finally here. Now, he couldn’t shake the feeling of excitement mixed with a strange sense of calm. It was a risk for sure, he knew that, but for some reason, the thought of being in your space, of having access to the things that were uniquely yours, felt almost...right.

You had just left with Ava, heading to the subway station. He knew because he was watching. He had to be sure you were completely gone before he made any moves. But now, he could finally do what he had been waiting to do for so long. 

Slowly, he pulled the replica key from his pocket, his fingers trembling with a mixture of excitement and disbelief. He aligned it with the lock and turned it, the soft click echoing in the silence. It was almost euphoric. The moment his ears caught the sound, he felt his breath catch in his throat. The sound of success, of having everything perfectly fall into place.

Jake breathed a sigh of relief, though he couldn’t place why. Was it the thrill of it all, the forbidden nature of what he was doing, or just the satisfaction of knowing he had outsmarted you? He wasn’t sure. All he knew was that his body was finally moving, his heart pounding as he pushed the door open ever so slowly, just a crack. Then the gap widened just a bit until it fully swung open, and it revealed your shared apartment, the space you inhabited. His eyes scanned the layout, taking in the unfamiliar sights, the small and intimate details that made this place unmistakably yours.

It was small but cozy, with a cluttered bookshelf lining one wall and a comfy couch facing a tv. A coffee table sat in the middle, a few magazines scattered on top, and beside it, a worn-out rug that had clearly seen better days. The kitchen area was visible in the corner, neat but not pristine, just lived in enough to feel real. He could see the faint light coming in from the windows, the sun still high, casting long shadows across the hardwood floor. And then, one of the bedroom doors was slightly ajar—he couldn't help but notice it. Could that door be yours?

Just the thought of going into your room made the region below in his pants twitch. But he could get to that in a moment.

He stood frozen, his gaze sweeping across your private sanctuary. He could hardly believe it. This was your space, your life, and he had made it.

His thoughts swirled in a hazy mix of excitement, guilt, and something darker. He knew he had to move quickly. You’d be back before long. So, he manned up and finally took a step inside. His feet felt heavy, like they were sinking into the floor as he closed the door behind him with a soft click.

Jake froze again. The weight of what he’d just done settled on him in that brief moment of stillness. But then, just as quickly, the urge to explore, to be a part of your world, surged forward. He stepped further into the living room, his hand brushing along the arm of your couch, lingering as though he could feel the traces of you still there.

He looked around, breathing in the air, and a small smile tugged at his lips. This was his opportunity. This was his chance to get even closer to you, to understand you in ways you’d never suspect. He wanted to leave his mark here, in this space where you were supposed to feel safe and in control.

His eyes drifted to the small table beside the window, a few personal items scattered across it. There he saw some books you had mentioned reading in past conversations with him.

He looked even further. Soft blankets littered the couch as Jake bent down to smell them. Some didn’t smell like you, him inferring they were mostly used by Ava. But the others smelled so strong he felt like you were practically there beside him. He spent a good while just inhaling the aroma of you, reminiscing the scent, until he finally snapped out of it. 

Jake’s gaze shifted toward the bedroom doors again, but this time he didn’t linger. He hastily made his way over to them. There were two doors across from each other, and Jake’s heart picked up speed as he walked toward the one on the right. He opened it slowly, his breath catching as he stepped inside. The room felt familiar, but not quite right. He scanned the walls, noting the framed photos of Ava and a few other girls, laughing and posing together, but no sign of you. The realization hit him: this wasn’t your room.

Without hesitation, he moved to the door on the left, his mind racing with anticipation. As he pushed it open, a wave of relief washed over him. This was it. This was the space that had been calling to him in the back of his mind, the space that felt like it was meant to be his, even though he hadn't been invited.

Your room.

The first thing he noticed was the soft glow from a string of fairy lights hanging across the ceiling. The room was cozy, warm, comforting, even. A faint scent of pumpkin spice lingered in the air, almost like it was designed just for you. His gaze swept across the space, taking in the details with a sharp, almost clinical eye. There was a bed pushed against the far wall, with a soft, pastel comforter neatly arranged, and a small desk cluttered with books, papers, and a laptop. He rummaged through them, but was careful enough not to make it seem like your stuff was being messed with. There were assignments, drawings you made, and a few other things, but ultimately, he started to get uninterested.

So he got up and delved further into your room, heart hammering in his chest, as he moved to your dresser, glancing at the things you had left behind—lip balm, a few stray earrings, a bottle of perfume. His fingers lingered over the objects, each one feeling like a piece of you that he could claim.

Jake could feel the weight of it—the tension, the thrill—this was more than just curiosity now. This was ownership. It was like stepping into your world and realizing, for the first time, that he could be a part of it in ways no one else could. No one else was here. No one else had access like he did. 

He opened every single drawer of your dresser, inspecting every single article of clothing you owned. Including the ones he’d seen you wear frequently and ones you’ve seemingly barely touched. He noted your dark grey hoodie that you seemed to live in basically, but also noticed your more scandalous and sexy pieces, wondering why you never put those on for him in the past? One by one, he searched through your dresser from top to bottom. Then he reached the last and final drawer and as he was sliding it open, it never dawned on him what clothes it would occupy until it was fully opened.

Panties. Tons and tons of panties.

Jake froze.

He just sat there, staring.

And staring.

And staring.

But as much as he enjoyed looking, he was eventually slowly reaching in the pile of stacked underwear and grabbing as many as he could.

He brought them up to his face, inhaling the foreign scents of your undergarments. These were obviously your clean pile, but Jake was so focused on what he possessed in the moment, he didn't seem to care. But then, a familiar throbbing in his jeans began to emerge at this point, however, he was still too focused on the many pieces of fabric in full display right below his very own eyes. He then began to look around more. He noticed most of them were thongs. Some cotton, some laced. Some had cute patterns on them; bows, for example. And some were more mature, with dark red or black lacy fabric.

There were bras too. He didn't ignore those.

Now, one thing about you is that you know how to cover yourself up, especially in the upcoming colder seasons. So, when Jake saw your bras tucked away in the back of the drawer and pulled one out, you could say he was shocked at the least, to see it was pretty much big enough to be at least a C cup.

This realization made his cock even more excited, now to the point where he couldn't hold himself back any longer. Jake then immediately unbuckled his jeans as fast as he could, ripping off the buttons in seconds, until he shoved his pants down, right under his ass where he could finally access his poor, frustrated dick, in desperate need of attention.

He pulled it out of his boxer briefs in haste and groaned at the sight. It was red. Angry red, and bulging out in full length already, right in front of him. He gripped it tightly and let out a hiss in pain. But it was a good pain.

His eyes trailed down from the bottom all the way to the top, noticing his veins protruding out even more than they usually do.

Sure, he's jerked off to the thought of you (or pictures of you) countless times before. But now, that he's here—in your room—with full and complete access to your bras and panties, his dick simply just can't take it.

But it will. Jake needs it to.

So, he started moving his hand up and down slowly at first, getting used to this new uncomfortable feeling, until his cock finally calmed down. Jake threw his head back, eyes shutting tight, mouth open in a silent moan. He tried imagining in his head what you would like wearing just your bra and panties. What would you wear for the first time with him? Would you put on something sexy and alluring? Or would you go more cute and innocent? All the thoughts were turning him on too much.

He looked back down at your drawer and spotted a laced baby pink thong peeking out through the bottom of the pile. With no hesitation, Jake immediately grabbed it, looping it onto his dick while he continued to jerk himself off.

The now added friction of the cloth made his cock even harder at this point, which he didn't know was even possible. But after minutes (that seemed like hours), his hand began to grow tired and cramped up, trying so had to release, yet subconsciously edging himself every time he was about to. With a groan full of exhaustion, he momentarily stopped, giving his hand a quick break. He let out a short gasp of air, panting with adrenaline.

But when he glanced down to his still very hard and throbbing cock with your cute little panties wrapped around it, he grabbed it again, this time even harsher.

"Come on, come on," he muttered to himself, frustrated, with furrowed eyebrows. He shut his eyes tight again, imagining himself pounding into your tiny little cunt. He wondered if you wouldn't be able to take it—the thought of you struggling to fit it in all the way. He liked that idea a lot. He would kiss your forehead, tell you he would go slow. And then he would ram himself into you, giving you no time to adjust.

But then he wondered if maybe you'd surprise him, and turn out to be a cock slut, riding it so well, like a beast. He groaned at the thought of it, speeding up his hand even more, gripping his cock even harder. The idea of you bouncing relentlessly, not giving his dick a break until he came inside of you, which sounded just too good to be true. Would you grab your big ass tits and squeeze them right in front of his face? Would they bounce uncontrollably as you rode him like there was no tomorrow?

"Yeah, just like that. Don't stop," he basically whispered to himself in bliss, his imagination getting the best of him. "Fuck, I'm so close baby," he whimpered.

And just like that, he was coming undone. Right then and there, unleashing his load onto your carpeted floor with seemingly, no care in the world.

He laid there, panting out of exhaustion. After he caught his breath, he smiled to himself, a dark, satisfied grin that tugged at the corners of his lips.

He could hear the faint sound of traffic outside, the world continuing without a clue about what he was doing inside these walls. His fingers traced over your cum filled panties once more, and grabbing more from your drawer, each item feeling like a new possibility—a piece of you he could add to his collection.

For a moment, he couldn't shake the feeling of victory. It was as if the world was his, and everything he'd been waiting for was finally within his grasp.

But just as the saying goes, good things never last. And just as quickly as the euphoria had flooded him, the sound of your front door squeaking open shattered the calm, and his eyes widened in fear.

[nyx-is-missing]

Graceland too

Clarisse la rue x fem!reader (Athena's kid)

Sumarry: When a certain daughter of Athena felt unappreciated her whole life, someone was there to see her.

Warnings: Sad girl hours, shitty parenthood, hurt/comfort because im no monster and probably other things wich i forgot.

a/n: look who is back!

Demigod.

Half blood.

Half a goddess.

Half a human (?).

And yet, fully a disappointment.

When Athena sent me to my Dad's house, in a golden crib, dressed in pure white dress, glowing, how the myths would expect a demigod to be, then, and only right then i was a gift.

A piece o divine love, something to prove to him, till the end of his life, that at some point, he was good enough for a Goddess.

But days after, immediately, i was just a crying baby, hungry, with a busy father, without a mother, and that only made him remember that, that was it.

He wasnt good enough for her, she wasnt staying, she never even actually even considered, he would never have that kind of honour, only a crying baby he never expected.

I wasnt a gift anymore, it actually felt like i was a insult, everything about me started to enrage him.

And oh, how did he reminded me of that every single day of my existence.

When i got diagnosed with dyslexia all i've heard whas that Athena gave me up to him because i was defective, when i couldnt sit still during classes, and exploded with all the repression i suffered everyday, suddently i was a clock bomb, when my grades where great, i was never rewarded, it was "the least i could do, to make up for the shame that i was".

I was never loved, never wanted, never encouraged, at least not by him.

The very little love i've known in my life, i own to the people who felt pitty of me.

The teachers, the neighbours who have heard the insults, the stray animals who could sense sadness, the very old grandparents who never actually saw me more than twice a year, and the people who worked at a nerby library, who let me stay past closing time, leaving only with the cleaners.

I was 12 when he had enough and sent me to camp, literally the very day school was over.

I came home to my clothes packed and him waiting by the car keys.

Being in camp for the first time, was also the very first time in my life i have ever felt....normal.

Not good, not bad, not great, not terrible, i was one, and that was enough.

I spend that summer being quiet, i sat in the corner, i didnt spoke, i didnt interrupted, i didnt had any ideas, i wasnt good enough to do that, thats what i've been told my whole life, thats my true.

It took a whole new summer for Athena to claim me.

I have always wondered if she was fighting with herself, if she had any problems having to admit that she made a mistake, with me, or with him.

It didn't matter, for the first time i had brothers and sisters, who wanted me, who understood when i wasnt the best, who asked for my graded tests, to put up in the wall.

They understood when i was hard to crack, when i insisted in being quiet, when i wouldnt share my ideas, they understood it all.

I didn't.

Each and every new summer i spent there, all i could ask myself was:

Why could i not be great like all of them?

Why im still afraid?

Why i was still useless?

Im now sixteen and the same questions still were unanswered.

And today i felt worse than ever.

It was my birthday, and i havent got a single letter from him, nothing, nothing.

It felt like he was saying i wasnt worth anything again.

Earlier, i tried to pretend nothing was happening, smiling with my siblings, finally making plans for capture the flag, finally belonging like i promissed i would try to do that year.

My plan was used, it wasnt perfect, but it was used, and surprising myself and the other team, we won.

I could see the other team confused, and Clarisse cussing us to death.

Still i was so happy, for the first time in my life i showed myself, and i worked....partially.

The happiness of victory didnt last much in me, because i saw a new brother of mine almost bursting to tears, he was young and just got claimed a few days ago, he wasnt used to that, and he wasnt supose to get hurt, but the red that painted his arms said otherwise.

I couldnt stare at him without feeling like i failed again.

Why couldnt i be perfect for once?

I took him to infirmary and held his hand while he was getting his stiches, saying sorry all the time.

I tried thinking it was okay, people get hurt, move on.

I had diner, i took a bath, i tried to sleep, i couldnt.

The tears were falling down and i knew i wouldn't be quiet.

So i got up and walked to the cabin's porch, sitting on the last step and letting my head fall to my knees.

Why couldnt i be great?

Why couldnt i be in peace with myself?

Why couldnt my mom bless me?

Why couldnt my dad love me?

Why did he had to be so mean?

I was a kid for fucks sake.

"Are you okay?" I heard someone saying, that made me freeze, that voice was not from any of my sisters, was i crying so hard i woke up someone from other cabin?

"I- yes, sorry i didn't knew i was crying so hard to wake people from other cabins, im sorry"

"You didn't, i was sneaking out to train some more, and saw you, our cabins face each other"

That was...Clarisse?

I wiped my tears and look up, she was staring at me with a almost worried look

"Clarisse?"

"Yes, why are you crying?"

She sat down by my side, dropping a sword in the grass.

"Its nothing really, im fine, you dont need to bothe-"

"No, cut the crap" she stopped me mid sentence "no one ever weeps in the middle of the night out of happiness, you are not fine and im not letting you lie OR leave until you tell me what it is"

We stare at each other, and ill need to thank the night light being bad because i probably look like crap right now, im sure my eyes are red, my nose too, im probably with a very swollen face and id bet all the dracmas i own that my hair its no better than a nest of birds.

"Go on...tell me"

I layed myself in the stairs, looking at the sky, trying to think of a way to tell everything, without sounding crazy

"I dont deserve to be here, Clarisse."

"Here..where?"

"This cabin, i dont deserve to be called daughter of the goddess of wisdom, i dont deserve being here with them, my siblings they are great, more than good, great, they will do great things with themselfs, amazing writers, architects, brilliant musicians, historians, why am i here? Im not even good, why im with the great?"

"Wait wait wait" she made me sit down again and look at her "not even good? What are you talking about? Wasnt the strategy in the last capture the flag yours? Yall won, and if somebody asks me later i've never said this but that was good, some really good strategy, i was almost thinking of asking chiron to switch you teams, you were great, more than that, and now you're here telling me you are not egen good? Are you on drugs?"

"Clarisse you dont need to pretend you care that much, and my plan wasnt all that, my brother got hurt, that wasnt supose to happen, i failed him, if i was good enough he wouldnt even be there"

She had a very confused look on her face, like she really did not knew what i was talking about.

"You're not talking about the little boy you took to the infirmary and that small cut in his forearm are you? Cause that boy was far from almost dying like you are making it sound like-" she looked at my eyes, i didnt needed a mirror to have sure how i was, i've seen myself like that too much to count, everytime my dad said i wasnt good enough, sad, lifeless.

"I failed again Clarisse, im not good enough to be here, im useless, worthless"

She looked at me and did the last thing i tought she would, Clarisse hugged me.

"Dont say that, c'mon, worthless? I've seen you fight, i've seen your plans, you dont talk much but i've heard your ideas, you are far from being useless or worthless, who the fuck told you that?"

"My f- you heard me?" I looked at her, only to see a look i couldnt distinguish "what do you mean?"

She looked at her own feet, then at her sword, reflecting the moonlight.

"You really dont know?" She looks at me "i- well, i've heard you, the same way i see you everyday, thats how i know you like morning walks, sweet green grapes, baked goods...how i know you are probably the only child of Athena who has never read "the art of war", that you walk without looking at peoples faces....its weird, i've seen you so much throughout this years and it feels like this is the first time you are actually seeing me"

"But i've saw you before-"

"Thats not what i was saying, you looked at me many times, but did you ever saw me until today?"

I looked at her blinking, and after a moment of silent i said "you like dark chocolate, and lemon flavoured soda, and sneaking out to train when the harpies take their breaks, by the way you missed that, and you always ask for double the quantity of food you eat, so when you burn it you still can eat enough, by the way i stole that idea-"

She is smilling, big, really big, i think i am too.

Of course i saw Clarisse, who wouldnt, she was strong, brave, beautiful, to me was a wonder she didnt had people running to get her attention.

She got closer to me "does that mean i can-" i stopped her mid sentence again

"Maybe..."

"Im going to make you forget that "im not good enough" nonsense, belive me"

She is smilling while kissing me, and i am too.

[lillydoobiddle]

Pairing: Husband!Heeseung x Wife!(f)Reader

Genre: fluff, marriage life, romance

synopsis: It just how you and heeseung as a family spent your weekend together with both of your one and only daughter.

Warning: broken english and there might be a typo since i wrote this in the middle of the night (pls understand:D)

This morning wasnt very bright like usually it was. The rain keep pouring down, wetting the street and trees since the night before. You wake up because how loud the storm is. The loud sound from the storm got you a little bit terrified. Since kid, you always scared with loud voices but you forced yourself always to pretend like it was fine until you grew up.

Slowly, you open your eyes, pull the blanket to cover all your body and leaving only your head. You try to sleep again, try to enjoy the sound of the rain but the storm make it harder. Suddenly, you feel a hands wrapped around your waist. A soft kisses lean on your ear. “Im here baby.. im here” it was heeseung voice.

since the first time you awake and tried to get back to your sleep, heeseung also awake and already notice your movement that seems something like has bothering you. He just realize it was the storm and he knows you hate it.

Gladly when he calms you like this, you became even calmer and your breath get more slower.. giving him a sign you already relax. Both of you get back to sleep, change both of your position to start cuddle before you burried your face in his chest while his hand covering your ears. Few hour passed when both of you already in your two own dreams, suddenly a small sounds of someone open the bedroom door echo in the room.

A gentle and slow stepped sounds getting closer towards the bed. The one who notice the strange sounds at first was heeseung, since he’s very sensitive with small sounds near him. He sat himself back on the bed as he picked up ji-a small body when she try so hard to get up on the kingsize bed. “Sweetpie.. what are you doing here?” He asked. He still very sleepy “cannot sleep daddy.. the storm was loud. Im scared” ji-a voice sounds very innocent. She just like you, scared of storm

“Okay okay.. then sleep with us. Daddy and mommy here for you” Heeseung put her to lay on the middle as you still in your dream. Didnt realize ji-a already with both of you.

The clock showed up 9:45 AM and your eyes finally open. But the kingsize bed already have no one on it besides you. “Where did hee go?” You mumbled to yourself. You think he might in the bathroom right now so you decide to went down stairs towards the kitchen. In your way, your mind full with the idea of breakfast for this morning. Being a mother, wife, and also business woman makes you very exhausted lately. It makes you pretty lazier then usual

When you stepped your foot in the kitchen, your eyes widen. You can see ji-a was making a pancakes with heeseung. Heeseung pick ji-a up with one arm while she begin to pour the pancakes batter onto the hot pan. Both of them notice your appearance and suddenly heeseung put ji-a down, ji-a took a plate of pancakes on the counter top and ran pretty fast to you

“Mommy…Good morningg!! I made you pancakes with daddy” ji-a said while giggles. She show you the pancakes she made with your favorite chocolate syrup and strawberry pieces as the topping. “Awww baby..” you kneeled in front of her and kiss her cheeks as much as you can. Your heart full now with the sign of your 5 years daughter cook this for you. Heeseung cannot stop smiling watching both of your interaction that makes his heart warm

“You are such a talented girl! I love you.. mommy will eat it okay?” Ji-a smile and nodded her head excitedly before you took the plate from her tiny hand. “Ji-a.. dont you wanna help daddy making the rest of the pancakes too?” Heeseung finally speak again making that little girl ran back to him

All of you, finally having breakfast together with pancakes that your 5 y.o daughter made. After the breakfast, it was a usual weekend day. Heeseung, you, and ji-a mostly spent the day with playing in the living room. Maybe you guys watch some movies, have karaoke in the living room together, or heeseung will invited his two princess to dance like a castle people with disney song

4 hours family time together feels like 4 minutes only and now its time for ji-a to have a little nap. “Come onn sweetie! Arent you tired already?” You ask “but mommy.. can i have few minutes again? I still want to play with daddy and you!!” She whined, her gaze turned to heeseung with her boba eyes

“We can play later ji-a.. now its time for you to have nap okay? Be good and listen your mommy” Heeseung speak gently but his words was stern to make his only daughter disipline about time “okayyy.. im gonna go to sleep” She quickly went to her bedroom followed by both of you. Heeseung and you gonna be by her side till she fall asleep.

After she fall asleep, Its time to spend time with your libra husband. You lay on the living room couch but your head was on his lap. He softly caressing your hair, and asked something to open the conversation between both of you “I see your face lately getting prettier.. but it seems like you hide something” He said and look down at you

“Huh? I dont hide anything” You look confused or maybe pretend to look confused “Nah.. you did. I saw your face lately seems very tired. You often wake up late too. It dosent matter what time you should wake up because i can take care of the house and ji-a too but it was a very uncommon thing for you to wakeup late” He explain “You just wakeup late everytime you are tired.. what’s wrong? What makes you tired?” he asked. This time he was curious

“Im just… very very tired. I should take care of the house, child, my bakery” You let out a heavy sigh “I dont mind doing all of it.. but im a human and i can feel tired”

“Ahh.. i get it. I understand that baby” Hee said as he slowly massage your head “That’s normal and that’s okay. Now just close your eyes and let me help you relax” He said that and you begin to giggles because he always treats you right no matter what.

“Awww you massage my head too hard!”

“Really? Im sorry.. is it good enough?”

“Nahh.. still too hard~”

“Really? You ask too much”

“You are the one that offer this massage.. im just complaining”

“I think i will kiss you if you keep complaining”

and that’s how your family spent a weekend day together

[pumpkinsy0]

Since Christmas eve is in t-minus 2 hours and 19 minutes, hcs for curly celebrating Christmas at the Curtis house?? Why is here there? Idk but he is!!

i made it to new jersey for christmas i am cold, tired, and ready to go

ik im late bc it IS christmas eve now but shhhhh

•ok look curly was rlly only over at their house for the heat, his house is already cold but around christmas its gets even chillier and he hates it, god damn it the curtis house better spare SOME heat

•may b the only time hes asking to sleep in the same bed as soda AND b in the middle of them so they can share body heat or somethin bc this cold is ridiculous man, scoot over curly was born in a tropical place he hates the cold so bad

•”hey have u tried THIS in ur hot chocolate” and its just some bs even he hasnt tried, he just wants to fuck up someones drink and see how crowded that cup can get he likes watching them force themselves drink it to not waste anything but its the curtis gang its also plausible they would drink it bc its actually good but it taste like shit to everyone else

•he pretended to b santa and kept patting his lap for pony to sit on it and tell “santa what he wanted for christmas”. backfired on him though bc two bit sat on his lap IMMEDIATELY after and hes wayyyy too heavy for curly, curlys legs felt like pure tv static afterwards

•hes so damn nosey, he likes snooping under the tree and trying to find out what everyone got, his hand has to get smacked away

•if its cold enough, hes totally licked a pole and had a bet w two and steve to see who could stay in the longest, he won but it almost costed him his tongue and near second degree burns to his face w boiling water from trying to get it off

•being around the curtis family being all familial makes curly feel bad about his own family so when theyre doing their own thing, curly shuffles his way outta there till hes pulled back in (by darry or pony mainly)

•since curlys a surprise guest, the gang try to get him a last minute present (rlly pony was gonna give it to him later but they all decided to just put their name on the gift and say it was from all of em, curly guessed it was from pony but admires the thought process they got goin

•the curtis gang still do elf on the shelf and curlys part of the duo who puts the poor elf in sexual positions, ur neverrrrr gonna guess who the other one is (its two bit)

•curly puts of parody of christmas carols, at first ur thinking “oh wow hes gonna sing such a classic song thats nice” and he fixes his lips to say the worst lyrics u will hear its mortifying, god forbid its modern time and u give him the speakers hes making everyone in the neighborhood listen

•it doesnt snow much in tulsa if ever but look curlys never seen snow for YEARS of his life, if its snowing outside he doesnt care how cold it is, he wants to go outside to mess around in it a lil bit, hes gotten a lil sick from it the day after cause he wasnt wearing his jacket which is rare but aye he had a lil bit of fun!! thats gonna wear off eventually tho, snow WILL lose its novelty

•most of his time is spent watching tv christmas specials, hes used to not rlly getting anything on christmas and theres nothing to do outside and the house is comfortable enough, ik his ass imprinted on that couch

•on top of that he controls the radio, the gang gotta give curly his flowers, he knows the good stations and songs, even if he didnt hes hogging the hell out of it

[hiwelcometothemonstersancturary]

Did Mommy ever get over the fact that Prototype used her kid's voice, or at least make some amend with that fact that they did? Cause I wouldn't be happy if someone else was using my kid's voice to truck others.

Prototype used little Theo's voice when pretending to be Ollie! But yeah, it took MLL some time to recover from the shock, mostly because of how long it took for Prototype to properly apologise. MLL felt for a moment like Ollie could have been saved, only for that to have been snatched away from her thanks to a cruel twist of events. She knew that voice wasn't his – but she wanted so badly to be wrong about it. Angel helped her a lot, but Prototype getting his shit together and admitting that using Ollie's name to befriend Poppy wasn't a good idea.

Mommy Long Legs was just a kid when she was tasked with the role of a mother and a wife to two other toys she never met before. She resented Baby Long Legs, and the fight that led to his death was one where she shouted at him and told him she never wanted to be a mother in the first place. She spent so much time wanting to say sorry, that it wasnt Baby's fault he became hers, but she never will be able to say sorry.

At least now she can be herself instead of the thing Playtime wanted her to be.

[kuni-is-daddy]

Hi can I please ask for a yandere Scaramouche with a darling that has social anxiety and wears Jirai Kai

Fashion because cute and it works as a coping mechanism and where the darling doesn't fight back even after being kidnapped

YANDERE SCARAMOUCHE X FEMALE READER.

1.43k words. Scara masterlist

TW:? Signals of anxiety, mild bullying(recording)

FT: yae miko and mentions of tartaglia.

Scara's oufit for your 'date' ->> Link

Part 2!

Its been weeks, months, years? even since you've been kidnapped by your ex-boyfriend but the constant memories of his killings we're engraved in your mind. It didnt matter how far you ran or who you called for help. He'd always find you, and always bring you back into the same room he kept you in. To the point where eventually you just stopped trying after truly realizing he's killed everyone, accepting this life as your new normal. His normal. Scara was purely addicted to you. Always cooking for you, sleeping with you and even buying you plushies. Everything he did, Was purely for you.

You laid in the bed of your messy room in one of his shirts. Slurping on your favorite drinks while listening to your comfort songs with your black Bluetooth headphones. You didnt have much left at this point. Just the things you enjoyed alone. And alone was how you wanted to keep it. "Darling? Where are you?" Scara said while locking the door to your shared house. You threw another empty can of your drink on the floor, pausing the song and putting your headphones on your counter. Covering your head under the sheets and pretending to be asleep as you could hear his geta sandals click along the floor. The doorknob turned as the blood covered male entered. Immediately searching the room for you. "Oh. Your here love, did you miss me?" You gripped tighter onto the sheets, Feeling his weight press onto the bed. He scanned the room again, looking at the mess. Plushies scatter along the floor, Your books messily on display ontop of your little table. Along with your pretty black hairclips he bought for you. He sighed. Lifting the blanket away from you with little to no effort. "Good morning, y/n." But you didnt turn around. "Hah so you did miss me." He smirked, noticing you wearing his shirt. Scara then rubbed his hands along your back, You shivered in response. "Your still scared..good to know Dont be darling, I wont ever hurt you. Look at me."

Ironic, After all he's done scara was still able to tell white lies in your face. You turned around. Scara was covered in blood along his face and hands, Coating his fatui kimono in a metaled smell. "Sc-Kuni..Your bleeding.." He raised his brows, Looking at the blood along his fingers as if it wasnt even a problem. "Oh hah. That. Dont worry about it darling, It isnt mine." 'Thats even worse.' you thought. "I want to take you out today love. lets-" "NO!" you yelled. "I-i dont want to go out. I want to stay home." He sighed and cupped your cheek. "You know i cant do that anymore sweetheart." It was true, Scara couldnt afford to keep you home as much anymore. Whenever he did and would leave for a long time due to his association with the fatui, you'd just be long gone running off into inazuma. Anywhere Away from him. You spent day's practicing what you'd say to someone about him and for help, Trying desperately to cast aside the pit you had in your chest when talking. "P-please my boyfrien- No, He kidnapped me and!-" "Kid, this isnt a joke. You and your boyfriend can go do your sadistic cosplays somewhere else. Dont waste the Kujou clans time." 'cosplay?' and that was another thing, People never even took what your wore seriously except for scara so what was the point of going outside anymore?

Your heartbeat began to quicken out of fear how he'd react. You stopped laying down and sat up. "Y/n, Darling-" "Then what if i Run away! huh?! W-would you let me stay home then?" He laughed at your example. "How childish, Even if you did, We both know you wouldnt make it far darling. Now please, Go get dressed."

You stepped outside, Still holding the plushie he gave you in one hand. Scara held his hand out for you, "Fuck..You look beautiful darling." You looked up to him as he gave another sadistic grin. The two of you walked through inazuma city while holding hands. You tuned scara out while he muttered more nonsense about his job, a ginger haired boy you never met and how he cant wait until he gets the month off. One whole month to spend with you, Second after second. "Ugh.. You see her clothes? She looks so unprofessional." A older woman whispered by the dango stall. "I know right. She looks like a hoe honestly, You know? those girls that sell themselves out to those big nobushi guys for money." The two girls laughed as you walked pass them. Your heart began beating in a sharp pain again, You held onto kuni's hand tighter while the male was in his daze. "K-kuni.." you mumbled; He immediately turned his head to you after using his real name. "C-can we go home? Please, I dont want to stay outside anymore." He gave a concerned expression, trying to hold in his patience. "W-why daring? We didnt even make it to the store, I wanted to buy you more of your Jirai kai outfits you love. Come on, lets go. I even had ajax request some of those plushies you like from scenzhnaya" He pulled at your hand but you tugged in response. Triggering memories from when he first attacked you. "N-NO! i dont WANT TO GO KUNI!" the two girls looked in shock, then pulling out their phones to record your meltdown and slowly follow the two of you walk. "Darling. Come on. Dont make me-" Scara sighed and let go of your hand, Trying to resume his 'calm' manners. Ajax told him to work on.

The two of you walked to yae publishing house, Where a pink haired woman addressed you. "Ah. If it isnt kubuki, My my who is this beautiful girl you have with you now?" 'now?' did have another girl before you? "I dont feel like indulging in your games today, Youkai. Did Ajax bring what i ordered?" He sighed. "Ajax? Who?" She searched through her working papers. "Hm...Oh that ginger rascal. Yeah your stuff is over there." "Stay right here." He gestured to you. "Say arent you a gift, Is he treating you well? You know..I happen to be good friends with his mother." Yae miko said, you nodded your head vigorlessly. "Y-yes! I love Kuni alot, He is very nice." Miko giggled in response. 'Kuni huh. What an interesting name he took after this time.' "Is that so dear? You look a little exhausted, A beautiful girl as you shouldnt be tearing up now." She handed you a tissue. "T-thank you ms youkai. I-im sorry..I just really want to go home and relax." You wiped your eyes. "Really dear? and why haven't you?" "W-well.." you ranted off to miko about the two girls who've been bothering you on your walk with kuni. "I-i just wish people didnt look at me this way, I love my clothes they make me feel really-" "Comfortable?" She cut you off. "Y-yeah! and kuni likes them too. I just feel happy and more confident you know?" You continued the conversation with yae miko as her welcoming aura calmed you down from your breakdown.

From across the desk Kuni listened into your conversation. "Two girls with phones, short hair and purple kimonos." Thats all he needed to know. He laughed at the women. Not about you but the fact that they had the audacity to even do that while he was around. Or even say those things to you. He emerged from behind the stall with the plushies. Watching as your eyes lit up when he handed them to you. A warm smile appeared on his face as he hugged you. Not wanting to let you out of his grasp again. Kuni told you to go eat at a stall and wait for him to catch up as he 'had some issues with the delivery' and conversed with yae miko. "The fuck do you think your doing? I dont care how you pretend to care for humans to please over your god, But You have no business to ever be bothered with her. Do you understand that?" He leaned over the desk. "Well..Since you asked so nicely, Id rather believe im doing you a favor, puppet. My, Y/n was much more comfortable talking to me about her problems more than shes ever talked to you yes? Shouldnt you be more. Approachable to your s/o?" She smirked. "I am. Approachable. Why does it even matter to you? Dont you have more important things to do like writing lewd storys about humans like some sadist? I dont think ei would like that would she?" the two of them stopped arguing to the sound of two girls talking. Two girls in purple kimonos... "Hm. I believe those are the two you are looking for, Kubuki? "

Scara grabbed your hand as you nearly dropped your dango. Following the girls eagerly with a giant grin on his face. "Ah- Kuni! Why are you in a rush we-" The girls walked inside a house within the outskirts of inazuma. You puffed off your skirt and continued to eat dango. "Here." He said, "These we're the girls bothering you my love?" Suddenly the mood changed and the sinking feeling in your heart came back once more. "...Girls?..k-Kuni!? did you follow them?!" He ignored your words and gestured for you to wait behind the trees for him. Knocking on the door as a faint glow of lightning emerged from his hands, forming a purple katana that could resemble the masou no hitotachi.

You held onto your plushie tight as the sounds of screams and cries erupted within the area. Slowly coming to grasps with what he was doing. Kuni was getting rid of the girls that hurt you. The ones that made you lash out and practically ruin what could have been a good day for you. A small giggle came out of your mouth, Which you immediately stopped by shoving the last piece of dango into your mouth. 'No. Kuni is still evil, he's still the bastard that even made my life like this!' you turned around when the screams and cries died down. only to be greeted by kuni right infront of you covered in blood and smashing his lips against yours right Infront of the tree. Giving an irritated sigh at the surprisingly sweet taste from your mouth, yet still on his high from the people he killed.

[turnin9pag3]

sigh.

i think im a james potter kinnie in the most shameful way possible because yes i relate to being social and having lots of friends but more than that i relate to feeling like you’re constantly doing either too much or not enough and people lose interest in me and i feel like shit because what did i fuck up but then i go and loose interest when i know its not that persons fault i just cant help myself but to hate everyone because i hate myself. and like james im too loud all the time so much so that when i finally decide to be quiet i have people shoving their concerns down my throat and i dont know how to appreciate it when all i want is to be left alone. lately ive been feeling like there something misplaced in me because all i want is to spend my last week of school with my friends and be happy and enjoy my time but all i can think about is i dont want to be here and i dont want to be touched and i dont want to see these people because these people keep talking and my head hurts and my eyes hurt and im feeling dizzy and none of this looks real anymore and im not sure what to do with myself anymore. and i would hate to hurt their feelings because its truly not their fault but like i said theres something wrong with me. i think im just a rotten soul and im fucked up in way unknown to most. as james would, i feel judged after everything i say and i feel ridiculed for every decision i make and i feel like they dont want to listen to me at all they just keep me around to have someone for themselves and a part of me knows thats not true but the larger part of me wont let me fully believe that. and i feel like james in the way i dont know how to do anything casually and i love with my entire soul but i hate with my entire soul too and when im in something im fully in. and its such a fault to have because i like people more than people like me all i just end up hurting myself because as much as i tell myself im not i think i still like that one guy from august and my miss my best friend when i cant call her that anymore and the girl ive known since 2nd grade is barley answering my texts and summer is coming i feel like everyone is going to forget about me and what if i forget about everyone and i dont want to be forgotten. and i feel like james because i feel overbearing when i ask to hang out with people and annoying. and i feel like im being made fun of every time i speak and i have to pretend that it doesnt bother me but it does. and im like james because all i want is someone to talk to and thatll listen to me but i know how hard it is to stay attentive when i talk because i talk so much about stuff no one cares about and i try to hide it but it hurts more than id like to admit because everyone cares about what they have to say and i sit and i listen but when i talk they leave the room or change the topic or turn up the music or outright tell me they dont care. joke or not it hurts. like james i spent most of my childhood being told im too loud or too intense or talk too much or too chaotic or too dramatic or talk too fast and like james i think no matter how much confidence i fein in my teen years ill never grow away from the 6 year old girl that everyone called a psycho because she had emotions too big that she didnt know how to deal with yet and they wernt her fault. it wasnt her fault she got her dads anger issues and tendencies to scream or her mothers ability to feel everything twice as strong as she should. and now im 15 and its still not my fault but ive suppressed it so far im not 100% sure how to feel that deeply anymore.

[gingersp1ce547]

Thiago was not expecting to be dad. Not now, nor anytime in the future. He knew how he was, and the life he led. Neither of which were suited for parenthood even though since his own father passed the idea of what kind of one he would be refused to leave his head.

Would he be able to give them half as good as a childhood as the one his father gave him? Would he leave them grieving and wondering how much of their father they knew like he did?

Should someone that shot a 15 year old in the foot be trusted with a child at all?

In the end these questions didn’t matter. Because he had a kid now and she was a sentient egg.

Fortunately, his work on the island was much less dangerous than it was back in brazil. So he could bring hope with him on his daily rounds. She seemed to like it a lot, which was a good thing because he wasn’t sure what he would do with her if she didnt other than leave her in the house with cesar but she spent more than enough time with the hacker already.

Before they had learned what liz had been up to and saved hope, thiago had been spending a lot of time with one badboyhalo. After he had saved dapper bad insisted on giving him a gift, which ended up being a whole thing of enchanted gear. He took some of it but he kept a couple pieces of his old set that liz and cesar had enchanted on, and the rest in an unsorted chest somewhere in his room like everything else he couldn’t get rid of.

He kept hanging around bad after that. Mostly because he was a real good source of information on pretty much everything happening on the island, but also because something he said to Thiago once wouldn’t seem to leave his mind.

Bad was asking about what thiago did before the island, around a month into their stay here they decided it would be ok to tell people the truth as long as they didn’t go into too much detail, so he did. Only for bad to reply “why would somebody marked by death want to fight her creatures?”

“What?”

Bad tiled his head like some kind of owl. His pure white eyes staring through thiago from under his hood. “Or at least i think it’s death. Maybe not our goddess but something similar.”

He looked thiago up and down once more. “Do you not feel it?”

The urge to throw off his hoodie and run to the nearest mirror to double check that the symbol of that fucking place was still gone was tempting. But thiago knew he didnt need it. He knew what it was like for his hand to not be his hand and this wasn’t it.

He shook his head, forcing his tongue to move from where it had glued itself to the top of his mouth, “No.”

Bad made a noise of curiosity in response but moved on. Thiago wasn’t sure if it was out of noticing his discomfort or something else entirely but he thanked the change of pace.

Unfortunately, the fact that he even got that bit of information in the first place meant he needed to go back and continue to prod for more

So far hed gotten out of bad that only the rest of team was “marked” like this. Some clearly were by an entity like thiago, cesar and arthur (bad upset about blood), but with joui and liz it was unclear. Same went for the mark itself, which bad described as almost being fuzzy. Like fog was obscuring his vision of it.

He was pretty sure that this was all bad knew, but bad was bad and liked to be a tricky little shit. One of his coworkers once wrote an article just for fun about creatures from folklore across the world. He was bored on his break and read it which was a good thing because he was not unconvinced that bad wasnt some sort of Irish fae creature. It definitely wouldn’t be the strangest thing a person was on the island (that was etoiles).

Even if bad didnt know anything else about their team, he definitely knew a lot about what happened on island, Especially when it came to politics, or as liz liked to call it, a telenovela pretending to be politics. Which was a blessing in disguise as it made writing about it much less boring on thiago’s part.

Hope was with him today since her quests had already been completed for the week. They bounced across the map as he handed out the latest information about the islands happenings as well as gathered it.

Cellbit and roier were off being sickeningly romantic somewhere and hope asked very politely if she could go say hi to him. Not that thiago would ever say to no to something asked as sweetly as that, he told her yes since Cellbit was technically also her dad even if it was only like 5% since he helped in the investigation to find her.

They then headed to pierre’s to restock on some potions, only to find him and maximus… maybe arguing? Thiago wasnt really sure but it could have also been flirting, or manipulation. It could go many many different ways with those two and honestly even though it was his job to know, thiago didnt wanna know. Neither did he want hope to have to witness it. So he quickly sweeped her up into his arms and turned back around to the teleporter.

She gave him a look of silent curiosity but didn’t ask. He was thankful for it today as opposed to usual worriedness. She had been alone in one spot for so long, and had so much curiosity about the world. Thaigo (and the rest for the team) wanted her to be cautious of the what she was getting into yes, but he also wanted her to feel safe enough to be able to run up to a flower she liked without asking if it was ok first.

Deciding to foster her curiosity at the cost of having to try and find a child friendly way to explain whatever the fuck pierre and max had going on, he told her that they were having a private conversation that he didnt want to interrupt. Hope, who knew all about private conversations because of her secretive ass parents, nodded seriously at this and thaigo took a mental note to explain to her at some point that not all private conversations were matters of life and death.

Next they headed to bad’s, who thaigo knew had a good stock of potions he wouldn’t mind missing if it meant keeping an egg safe. He wasnt there and a look at the map told him he was off on some adventure with dapper most likely in search of creature that the kid wanted to tame.

There was a couple other people awake but he really didnt feel like crossing thousands of blocks to go and find them, so instead the two wandered about spawn. Hope taking the lead and investigating the different buildings up close. She already knew at this point that her pais and mae where not the people to ask about how crafting materials worked and seemed happy just to silently investigate.

In the past he would have expected it to be a good break from taking care of a kid, a time to collect his thoughts. Instead he just watched her and his heart felt warm. No thoughts of the what he was gonna write about next, or how everyone back in brazil was doing drifted through his head. All he could focus on was the way hope would walk up to block, completely transfixed by it, bend down to get a look at it better, maybe tilt her head or touch it lightly before moving on to the next one.

Or at least it was all he could focus on till a sound caught his attention. Mentally, he praised the fact that his still functioning ear worked perfectly if not better than that before turning to look in the direction of the sound. In it’s place he saw “charlie” slimecicle teleporting off somewhere.

This was odd for a couple of reasons. The first being that slime did not wake up often. The second was that when he did he usually hanged around big groups of people and the third was that thiago wasnt sure where he got enough exp to teleport in the first place.

Ok, maybe that last one was a stretch but still. Call it investogators intuition or whatever you want but there was something odd happening here and thaigo wanted to know what.

A light tug on his pants brought him out of his head. He read hope’s sign pai, who was that?

“He’s another islander my dear” he replied

She broke the sign before placing down another, Where is he going?

“Most likely home”

Hope stared at him. It was a stare she most definitely learned from cesar and liz because it screamed bullshit

“He really could be going home,” hope’s stare persisted in intensity “buuuuuuuuut your instinct is right. Theres something fishy about this. I feel it too”

Are you gonna go check? she didnt have to write the and can i come for thiago to know she was thinking it.

“Yep. Do you wanna go teleport to pai cellbits and go hang out with him and tio roier while i do?”

I can go there if you want.

He frowned. A sentence like that was the hope equivalent of saying no. She was just too afraid to say that was what she actually wanted.

Still. There was a possibility, however slim, that whatever awaited them on the other side of that waystone was dangerous. If something ever happened to her and thiago knew he could have prevented it he wasnt sure what he would do with himself outside of that it wasn’t good.

He had a enough innocent peoples blood on his hands already, but to have a child’s?

You don’t know if there were any children in the holy cradle, a voice whispered. It swirled around his ears and even though the non-functioning one was well non-functioning, he swore he could almost hear in it and yet you burned them all the same.

Now wasn’t the time for thoughts like this. Hope was still waiting for a reply and who knew what slime was doing.

“You can come with if you promise you’ll teleport away when i tell you too”

Hope beamed up at him nodding vigorously before placing a sign down quickly writing I promise! And then beginning to run over to the waystone excitedly.

“Woah woah woah slow down my dear!” He called out after her. Once he caught up he added “let me go first and hold my hand the whole time.”

Trying to contain her excitement hope gave one strong nod. It seemed to be an attempt at showing she was serious.

Smiling at this and taking her hand into his, thiago and hope teleported to charlie’s base

There wasn’t much there outside of a small shack which thiago assumed was Charlie’s house. The two investigating the outside area a bit before thiago used his still functioning ear to listen to the door. After hearing nothing inside, the two carefully proceeded to enter the building with thiago leading the way.

He didnt notice anything odd at first glance until hope gently tugged his hand in the direction of something, a small opening made of dirt.

Traveling into it, they found a large cavern filled with various plants and some sort of train system. Ignoring it, thiago and hope stealthily made their way down till they could see charlie standing in front of what seemed to be. a house. Only, he wasn’t alone.

There was an egg with him. One that thiago hadn’t seen before.

Grabbing a sign of hopes he had stored away he wrote out do you know them? Before breaking it and passing the back sign to hope.

No, Was the response he got. So not another test subject egg, which meant considering how Charlie was treating this egg (with warmth and excitement), they were most likely Charlie’s egg.

Only issue was that Charlie’s egg, juanaflippa if thiago remembered right, had died months ago.

“Stay right here,” thiago whispered to hope before giving a light kiss to her head and letting go of her hand. “I’ll be right back.”

Hope nodded and stayed in her spot as thiago got closer and focused his eyes on the outline of this egg. It was times like this that he missed the range of his gun but sword and shield would have to do.

The dead don’t come back. Thiago had known this as fact since the day he learned about the “airplane crash.” But it wasn’t till he joined the order that he learned the second half of the statement.

The dead don’t come back, so when they do. It’s not them anymore. Whether that meant they were a hallucination or a creature, thiago wasn’t sure. What he was sure of was the fact that he wouldn’t let slime be killed by whatever was pretending to wear his child’s face.

Thiago jumped down ready to strike but just as he did, the egg ran back into the house with Charlie sprinting after them, leaving thiago’s sword stuck in the ground. Cursing, he ran after them, only to see the egg disappear into specks of code as Charlie cried out for it.

Code meant code monsters. Thiago was not prepared for code monsters, he was prepared for paranormal bullshit even though none had ever appeared on this island before.

Regardless, he needed to write all of this down while it was still fresh on his mind. It didn’t matter if this wasn’t paranormal, it was still dangerous even if that danger had momentarily passed.

So, thiago turned and quietly walked out the house, back to hope and then the two teleported back home.

Pai, hope wrote upon arriving what was that?

Thiago bite his lip. God what he wouldn’t give for a cigarette right now.

“We’ll figure it out.” He crouched down to her level “So for now let’s not worry about it. Okay my dear?”

Worry crossed over hope’s face for a split second, and it landed sharp like a stab in thiago’s chest.

“This scar?” Arnaldo said pointing at a long scar that wrapped around his upper arm. Usually it was hidden by long sleeve shirts but he had rolled those up to be able to kneed the dough of the bread he was making, “It’s just from a stunt that i messed up once. Nothing to worry about my dear”

Thiago took a deep breath in. No nicotine hit his lungs but the oxygen worked just fine. “How about this? I’ll let you know everything new i learn about this case. After all i need an expert on eggs, and who’s a better expert than the best egg on the island?”

Hope looked down at her feet bashfully, but with a glow of praise, “you promise?”

Extending out his pinky finger, thiago smiled gently, “of course my dear.”

Hope wrapped her own around it, and the promise was sealed.

[magebutts]

my sincere apologies to everyone who's sick of seeing me talk about all my griefs with veilguard, but i do have more lol

did anyone else feel an extreme lack of connection between rook and the rest of the party? is that just me? like it feels like they spent a lot of time focusing on the interpersonal relationships between the companions and their individual stories, and then rook is just... there. and like i get it, the charcters are important and always have been. but it feels like rook really gets sidelined. (forewarning i also got sidetracked and talk abt a lot of loose story ends and stuff)

and maybe i just missed out on it because i played a shadow dragon who didnt save minrathous, but even their background doesnt feel super important. like i get rook is a hero by happenstance but like.... idk.

yeah idk for an rpg, especially a bioware rpg, i expect more. like da2 might have been super restricted bc there was no origin choice, but at least you were connected to the story. the warden was integral to the story. the inquisitor had the mark and was integral to the story.

and rook was just like... a silly goofy lil guy who cracks jokes no matter which dialogue option you choose and as much as i enjoy the heroes who are like "someone has to do the job so i guess it might as well be me if no one else is gonna do it", it felt incredibly mishandled.

and again, idk, maybe i missed out on a lot bc i did play a shadow dragon who saved treviso and romanced the slowburn guy who had virtually no romancr content which is a whole problem on its own, but... whatever lmao 🙃

oh and as i just saw a post about it on twitter, its WILD that they brought back morrigan AND ALSO ISABELA ???? and you get NO say in their history, when it is very easy to have both of them permanently leave ur party in their respective games. like im sorry, isabela learned the meaning of found family in kirkwall? every game i have ever played, i have never succeeded in getting her to stay even when i was trying to. they couldnt even be bothered to say hawkes name once in veilguard but isabela is gonna wistfully namelessly reference them??? and the fact that a character who could have been trapped in the fade and is never mentioned once in a game that is all about people being trapped in the fade

and do NOT get me started on morrigan and flemeth. we are NOT going to pretend flemeth wasnt a horrible woman who had daughters for the sole sake of creating a posessable vessel. or the fact that in a lot of worldstates, morrigan has a son who we were previously told contained the soul of an old god of tevinter... only to find out that that isnt true, so that boy was also possessed by a fragment of the spirit of an elven god, which flemeth and then solas potentially also stole if kieran existed.

and also never acknowledge the fact that there are still in fact 5 blighted elven gods trapped in the fade, granted they would hypothetically be mortal with their dragons dead but like... theyre still out there.

and dont get me started on the state of the south, i will literally never be able to care about anything else knowing what happened there. and like, idk what bioware expected. we spent three whole games in ferelden + the free marches. and i will argue, that as interesting as the rest of the world is, ferelden + the free marches are the home of dragon age. and that very well might just be me, but i feel like having games set anywhere else created a rift very similar to the rift between andromeda and the main mass effect series

ESPECIALLY with the "secret ending" cutscene (spoilers for that now if you havent seen it)

hinting at the series going even bigger + beyond the fade, its giving pathfinder/dnd outer realms, and im sorry, but if dragon age leaves the medieval fantasy theme to go for eldritch/alien beings, im gone. my interest in the series is dead. implying that everything that has happened has been the design of some greater beings and all of your heroes and their actions were actually someone else's doing all along... its an insult to player agency, and you can NOT continue doing that as much as EA has done in an rpg series. the dissolution of the keep and previous player choices and characters appearing in zero capacity was already a lot, but i could accept it if the scope of the story was beyond our choices. but with solas's dagger being the one hawke found in the deep roads, with darkspawn ravaging ferelden again and there being no mention of alistair or the grey warden who could very much still be alive and in the order, let alone be ruling the fucking kingdom, its fucking insane actually. its insane that the only choice that apparently has any meaning was how you inquisitor felt about solas, and beyond that, if you romanced him. even disbanding the inquisition doesnt seem important anymore, bc there is zero mention of solas and his agents that he had in trespasser.

like yes, sorry, i am mad actualy that no one else and nothing else mattered. the inquisitor and dorian stood side by side and you dont even get to determine their relationship if they arent together. like the man who invented telephones and face time for his best friend can only say "bet u cant wait to go home and see a certain somebody, WINK", not even considering the fact they might not have been friends.

how funny and easy it would have been for varric (ignoring the fact that hes a ghost) to make one singular joke about hawke dating an abomination and rook doing the same. for isabela to mention fenris or merrill, or a romanced hawke. for merrill to never be mentioned again despite being so dedicated to researching and restoring her eluvian. for fenris to never be mentioned despite his ties to seheron and tevinter. for the warden to never be mentioned despite ending one blight just to have two more ravage their country in their lifetime. for the crows to be a main faction and zevran gets two vague unnamed mentions in companion ambiant dialogue. for starkhaven and fucking sebastian vael, a character many people didnt see bc he was a dlc add-on, let alone a highly disliked character who a lot of people with his dlc never even recruited. no mention of hawke or their warden sibling, who were said to have disappeared after venturing to weisshaupt when all the wardens were recalled and the keep went silent. and i am going to harp on this, the cure for the fucking blight. because it is possible, and now with veilguard, we have seen it TWICE in canon.

it really just drives home that actually, the scope hadnt gone past the former heroes, they just cared more about telling their own story than collaborating with the players who make the games possible.

anyways bioware im in your fucking walls, ea i know where you fucking live and i do actually expect better from a triple a studio who was fucking stupid enough to acquire a studio who was revolutionary and famous for their storytelling only to not fucking support that

[sadaveniren]

Thank you for your post about Doris coming back, I totally agree with you!

But I wasn’t here then, so I’m kind of curious about the stunt. I’ve heard that people meant that Louis chose her himself as his stunt and they were actually friends? Is that right? And did she really admit in some interview that she was a beard?

Sorry if my questions is stupid, you don’t have to post if you don’t feel like it 😊

🥰 no problem and despite my eye rolling at certain anons there are actually no stupid questions, especially when you are coming at it from a place of not being here.

People (me included) believe Louis more than likely chose her as his choice for a stunt girl. We think he “auditioned” a couple of girls, Alycia being one of them, and ultimately chose to go with Danielle. No one actually knows why he picked Danielle over Alycia.

There was talk that they were friends and they got along, and Danielle did in fact watch/spend time with Fizzy, the twins and the younger twins in 2016, which retrospectively we can assume was because Louis, Lottie, their grandparents etc. were caring for Jay. That like. Is a fact. Danielle spent a lot of time with the family. So it is very possible she became good friends with them.

That said there was also plenty of evidence her and Louis did not get along. For starters, she didn’t actually spend as much time with him personally as she made it seem. She played very well at pretending but after the breakup and finding out Cliff was, at the time actually Louis’ dog - who Louis got for himself from one of Danielle’s uncles friends or whatever - made some things we saw over 2016 look different. For example a lot of times we thought Danielle was with Louis would be because Lottie to Calvin showed a video of Cliff. We thought Cliff was Danielle’s dog, therefore if Cliff was there Danielle was there. But with the new knowledge that Cliff WASNT Danielle’s dog we realized in videos where we ONLY saw Cliff and not her little red dog, or herself, Cliff was probably just chilling with Lottie or Calvin in the house alone.

Because they were somewhat red carpet official if you think about it - aka going to events together - we also got them talking about each other and lemme clue you, both of them very clearly never talked to one another. Louis memorably said he had no clue what Danielle thought about racing when they were AT A FORMULA 1 EVENT and had FLOWN THERE ON A PRIVATE JET. Like y’all were up there in that thing, going to an event, and y’all couldn’t even make small talk enough about the event you’re going to to be able to answer something simple like “what do you think they think about this”. Not to mention Danielle and her “oh I sympathize with the stalkers they just love Louis so much” like the two of them were very much not on the same page.

Finally is the fact that we also got reports that Danielle trying to kiss Louis in front of the fans and him pretty aggressively pushing her away. Thats… that’s always the big one for me about whether or not they were friends.

As for her confirming being a beard, no she never did that. Or if she did I sure never heard about it. And also any paid beard worth their salt would NEVER admit to being a beard while the person they bearded for is still closeted because that’s called outing someone and that’s Very Fucked Up.

[definitelynotshouting]

WAHOO im back part 3 :))) i reread the chapter

-☀️

"“Not like that, that’s for sure,” Grian says, and it bites, singing through the air with cruel finality. He can’t stop the way each syllable sharpens as he speaks. “So when I tell you I’m dying, maybe you should believe me.”"

- he's happy that when they are hurt by what he does/says at least he has control over this time. He's still keeping secrets. It's not until later that grian loses the upper hand he has keeping the way Watchers work a secret. Right now the others don't know what options they have, meaning that Grian can let himself die and there's nothing they can do about it. It's self destructive but he's smug about that, in a 'hahah im going to do this thing and theres nothing you can do about it' kind of way except the 'thing' is dying. He needs sooo much therapy

-☀️

"Despite everything, the day Grian was kicked from Hermitcraft, Scar had still watched him like someone he knew. Now, he stares at Grian as if he’s never seen him before."

- Before, Scar knew they didnt have all the pieces to the puzzle. He knew Grian creating the game wasnt as simple as it seemed, he knew there was something greater at play. Later, he says "that's just not your style...I never believed you would. Not even for a second". Now that all the cards are on the table, Scar can't comprehend how there was so much he missed. He knew that just before mcc and before the games Grian gets tired. He didnt know why. Theres so much Grian kept from everyone, and Scar slowly piecing it together only to realise just how much pressure has been on Grian's shoulders, how much emotional weight he must be carrying. I can only imagine how much of this Scar reads on Grian's face in this moment

-☀️

"Scar’s voice takes on an awed note— as if the simple act of slipping past Grian's defenses for the missing puzzle pieces changes anything between them. Soft as drifting snow, he whispers, “And that's why you won't let us help.”"

- blows you up with mind

- It does change something!! Scar now understands- to some extent at least- WHY grian is acting the way he is. GRIAN doesnt think this changes anything. The fact that people know his motives doesnt mean they know how to stop his code from unraveling, after all. Ohoho. Grian you underestimate the hermits. Do you really not understand how insane they are!! Scar and the others are ready to do whatever they need to to stabilise grian's code and make it so Grian is able to properly live alongside all of them, SAFELY. Without fear. But Grian is so convinced he's unloveable that he cant see this

-☀️

"At any other point, his palms would be a warm, grounding weight, laced with familiar lines and calluses; now, all Grian can focus on is the inexorable tilt of his entire world's axis as it falls apart."

- this line genuinely had me throwing my phone onto my bed and putting my head in my hands.

- There is no more running. No more hiding. Grian has spent his entire time as a Watcher-disguised-as-a-player pretending and hiding the truth of his existence. But now everything is out. Everything that grian has spent years hiding because of self-hatred and disgust, thinking he is a monster beyond help or love; there is not much left for him to hide. His world is falling apart, theres no way to recover his life before, the one he oh so carefully cultivated on Hermitcraft. That life is gone.

-☀️

Aldjnskajan. I hope this makes some sense 😭 i still have another section of quotes that i copied, but ill do those tomorrow (my time) because i am sleepy :)

AAAAA I WASNT ABLE TO GET TO THIS YESTERDAY ANON BUT WAAUGHHHHHH /POS THIS IS SOOOOOO

IM SENDING YOU BEAMS THIS IS SO SWEET AND VALIDATING TYSM YOU ARE AMAZING AND I HOPE YOU ARE HAVING AN EXCELLENT DAY

[dykephan]

hi, totally agree with you about the december getting together thing and just wanted to add on to a few points. One about online perceptions and stuff is they mightve both wanted to have this appearance of a cool, sexy, mysterious, emo guy on the internet who is "mature" and has casual sex all the time nbd lol and not wanting to seem clingy. Its kind of embarrasing to want more sometimes (its cheesy, its meant to be). For Dan I also dont think he would want Phil to see him as an obsessed fan (also the age thing) so putting up a nonchalant front would help put them on more even footing. For Phil its just like you already said mainly and not wanting to scare Dan off, following Dan's lead. Also Dan just getting out of a longterm relationship and being 18 he might not have been inclined to tie himself down quick when he was single for the first time in a bit, especially to someone who lives far away, but then obv realized this thing with Phil wasnt just going to be some casual fling. Also lol this "reveal" was not weird/ suprising to me bcos of my own experience of being with this girl for like 3 ish months had been friends previously we were having sex and saying we loved eachother etc but whole time being like we're not dating though lol

oh 100% agree, especially when you're at that age it's sooo embarrassing to admit you do want to find someone who cares about you and enriches your life and shares a future with you... it's so much easier to flirt with strangers online and pretend you're too cool to feel any particular way about it. like you said, i think it comes down to both of them realizing that this was not going to be some casual fling. and 2 months is honestly no time at all considering how much they had to think about & plan for!!

also yeah i agree it wasn't surprising to me it was more just like. first of all like holy shit why are you sharing this information with me unprompted are you sure you meant to say that?? second of all, i guess i didn't KNOW until i KNEW. it's one thing to look at the things they posted around that time period and make guesses, but hearing it out loud made me feel sooooo dumbfounded. idk why but that one hit me way harder than the tour bus thing...

anyway let me share a personal anecdote here because it's only fair after i've invaded their privacy i should embarrass myself a little fksjfks many years ago i started talking to a tumblr mutual and we got super close as friends, we spent literally hours talking every night and we'd even fall asleep on skype just to be with each other. i told her things i have still never told anyone else in my life. and ofc there was heavyy flirting which was fun except i have horrible commitment issues.. doing all this online didn't feel as scary and real to me. but then we made plans to actually travel and meet up, and i started getting. idk. itchy 😭 but i did go across the country to meet her and it was such a perfect weekend, she was so funny and beautiful and even more magnetic in person. it clarified my feelings about her in a way that chatting online never could, but also it scared the shit out of me and so when that weekend was over i went back home and i told her i couldn't do it anymore and that was it. we tried to be friends after that but it just wasn't the same and neither of us had our hearts in it. i still think about her and hope she's doing well but we haven't talked in years

so basically i'm living in the dark dan and phil timeline where they filmed pinof and then said okay bye dude 👍🏻 fuck my stupid baka life

[thedrotter]

Giggles and kicks my legs. Soooo .. how about YOU make a headcanon post

OKAY!!!! i actually have. like a. insanely long list for my mother headcanons and have an uncomplete Google docs document on them because im insane but i will make it as short as i can by only taking about mother 2 LMAOOO so imma just add a silly read more thingy here because i am about to info dump so hard

Imma go character by character because ITS JUST CLEANER...

first off silly baseball child ness

Because I'm silly like that I woke up one day and decided he was trans masc. if ness or just any male protagonist in media (looking at you link) could make money out of the amount of people that made headcanons of him not being cis I imagine there'd be alot of cash coming in

I like to think of him as half-latino and knowing spanish because WHY NOT!!! and since every single latinoamerican breathes and cherishes goku HE NEEDS TO BE A DRAGON BALL FAN he would not be accurate latinoamerican representation IF HE WASNT A DRAGON BALL FAN!!!

Out of the whole group I imagine he tries to use PSI as little as possible in his daily life once the whole journey is over, for he is more comfortable living as a normal kid. WILL NOT HESITATE TO USE HEALING POWERS IF NECCESARY but otherwise avoids it (except telepathy on animals because i have this funny thought where he has unintentionally used telepathy his entire life and thats how he knows what animals are saying BUT THOUGHT THIS WAS NORMAL??? once he figures out its not a normal thing he avoids doing it as much with people but he cannot live without knowing what the dawg be saying...

the airhead in the group. he is mostly gut oriented instead of going by brains his brain mgiht as well be a burger

ALSO THE LOUD ONE a very empathetic and easy going boy that gets easily excited about everything and just likes having fun. which means every time he gets a semblance of a negative emotion he will proceed to numb it down and ignore it causing him to just accumulate it😰 LIKE HOW HE HAS TO BEAT DIFFERENT CREATURES AND ENEMIES in his magicant they appear and look down at him for hurting them WHICH MIGHT BE HIM FEELING GUILTY BY THE FACT HE HAS TO DO THAT AND I IMAGINE HE CAN ONLY PULL HIMSELF TO DO SO BY NUMBING THE GUILT DOWN... he's just like look lets lets just get this done😞 what goes on with Pokey ending up on Giygas's side also applies to this but i will not go on detail. because I am writing fanfiction about it and rather not spoiil it😊😊😊😊

the baseball fan ever that practices daily without missing a single day and basically drags Pokey alongside him

and since. i am NORMAL... he's an ENTJ 7w8. i have spent endless hours doing personality tests for these kids i am so normal about them

he has a crush on Paula (which she returns) but is too flustered to admit this so he pretends he is not catching on to her VERY VISIBLE HINTS (she enjoys getting him flustered shes silly like that) because he's nervous about it💀💀💀

anyway PAULA TIME!!!! i am insane so i have provided some backstory for her

I imagine that she awakened her PSI pretty early on and is very gifted around it, and since it is so rare she became very popular in the media at a young age and is essentially a celebrity child. She thought it was very fun initially but she feels pressured to keep a perfect image of herself for she is considered to be a role model which painted an image of someone that wasn't her. She feels very upset about this nowadays and has tightly held onto what is important to her and her true self as to not lose it in attempting to be someone else. She basically has some anger issues out of this because she has gotten used to people not really respecting her boundaries and not being very interested in who she actually is

SHE'S STILL REALLY CARING SHE GENUINELY ENJOYS HELPING OTHERS AND IS THE ONE KEEPING THE TEAM MORALE IN BETWEEN THE FOUR even when she tends to forget taking care of herself sometimes

so yeah she isnt really amused when she's kidnapped SHE JUST GENERALLY HAS LIGHT REACTIONS TO THINGS GOING SOUTH BECAUSE SHE BASICALLY KINDA EXPECTS THAT? despite how much optimism she spreads around she's quite the pessimist (though never voices those thoughts) so she feels very drawn in when Ness is actually genuinely optimistic about everything

loves cute things so much she needs every single big plushie she finds IMMEDIATELY. kirby merch hoarder

generally a sweetheart but very bold and feisty not as much as Kumatora is but she is

if she was in the modern era she'd be a gamer and live breathe minecraft she would be the type of person that gently explains things to her friends on one side but yells when a random stranger in her team is playing horribly

really excited over her frying pan she would have gotten a bat if she didn't think itd be cool if she could use her frying pan as both a weapon and something to warm food up in. like SHE WILL USE IT IN ANY CHANCE POSSIBLE TO FEEL COOL like "Yeah ... give me that cold slice of pizza imma put in the pan . ..." pk fire some random oil she keeps around for thiw specific purpose and there it is it makes her so happy

AS I PREVIOUSLY MENTIONRD SHES VERY STRAIGHTFOWARD ABOUT HER FEELINGS FOR NESS EVERYONE KNOWS IT SHE IS NOT TRYING TO HIDE IT AT ALL but does not directly confess because she likes teasing Ness. she finds it amusing when he gets flustered about it and pretends he isn't catching on

ESFP 2w3 hehehehehehehe

now Jeff he's my favorite out of the four so his is probably going to be stupidly way longer because he's silly like that

not the usual type of shy who hides from people and stutters a lot I IMAGINE HE JUST GETS REALLY AWKWARD AND SPEAKS AS LITTLE AS POSSIBLE AND ENDS UP SOUNDING REALLY FORMAL BY ACCIDENT. He will respond to you just in very few words if some stranger suddenly starts talking to him he basically freezes up and fights internally to even say a word because he does not know how to do conversations

He's very knowledgeable in many different things and if you ask him about anything he'll answer VERY NONCHALANTLY AND SHORTLY AS IF HE DOES NOT FULLY UNDERSTAND THE SUBJECT WHEN HE IN FACT, DOES. HE SIMPLY IS NOT INTERESTED. but then you bring up inventions and guns and he will provide you a full rambling session with visual examples test runs different things to reference to for different concepts he's mentioning and every single minute detail. THERE HE ACTUALLY GETS EXCITED LIKE HE ISN'T SHY AT ALL THERE

cannot for his life comprehend social cues or idioms he takes things very literally and doesn't assume there's any hidden meaning HE'S BETTER AT THINGS THAT ARE LOGICALLY ANSWERED THAN ANYTHING SOCIAL. so yes Tony can accidentally drop a hint that he's crushing on him and DESPITE JEFF FEELING THE SAME WAY, he'll be like hm thanks tony cool I'm sure that is a very best friend thing to say i do not think there are any romantic implications here....

has an inferiority complex over the fact people credit his skills to be coming from his father (who he basically HARDLY KNOWS OR REMEMBERS SEEING PHYSICALLY BEFORE THE PROPHECY) and not to his own efforts!!! he's constantly compared to him and is expected to have the same amount of genius he does so Jeff tends to overwork himself at times to reach this standard.

has tested million types of coffee to see which one keeps him awake at night the best— but hates coffee! he prefers tea. friends assume he likes coffee because of how mcuh he drinks it he does not

oh yeah as i implied has a big fixation towards inventions and guns. he just thinks they're inteesting as hell he wasn't one to use them he just thought they were rad as hell and he WILL recognize specific ones if shown even a peak of one. he cannot live without being 100% up to date with every single type of gun in existence he needs to know all about them and understand how they work and does elaborate dissections into how they're built

even if shy once comfortable with the rest of the team he actually is one to occasionally tease them and joke around sometimes HE HAS THIS RELATIONSHIP WITH NESS WHERE THEY ARE CONSTANTLY TRYING TO ANNOY EACH OTHER without actually annoying in each other idk how you call it but they just playing around they silly like that

type of person who's face turns red at even the slightest embarassment it just happrns really easily

im not even gonna lie to you he's essentially me irl i needed a character to project myself into so i dont feel bad about not being good at social cues and at anything that is not my main interest

OH YEAH HE'S THE TALLEST HE'S VERY LANKY BUT HE'S THE TALLEST he's confused to be older than he actually is a lot of the time

i almost forgot— ISTP 5w4

NOW POO!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!

Initially took things very seriously and remained stone faced for a while but ironically became the one that made the most jokes out of everything and has a very contagious laugh— he still takes things more seriously than the rest and is the one that keeps everyone focused when it's important but is now able to relax a lot more

REALLY CHARISMATIC. LIKE HE'S AMAZING AT DEALING WITH PEOPLE EVEN IF HE PREFERS SOLITUDE.

loves animals and animals love him once found a dog and was very sad when he couldn't take him along in the journey... HE GENUINELY JUST SITS DOWN AND SPEAKS TO ANIMALS VERY CASUALLY LIKE hello sweet little dog. how are you doing on this fine saturday. awesome😊.. AND DOES MAGIC TRICKS FOR THEM😭😭😭 He's the disney princess of the group animals will just come to him and be nice to him birds sing along to this boy existing AND HE'LL BE LIKE OH, THIS IS NORMAL, while the rest of the group is just dumbfounded by rhat

i think he'd be quite tech illiterate as he spends most of his time concentrating on his training he really didn't pay much mind to technology (he preferred putting time into working on himself instead of wasting it trying to properly understand technology). BUT HE'S DOING HIS BEST HE IS INTRODUCED TO ARCADE GAMES AND THANKS TO FRIENDS BECOMES HOOKED he was a little lost but hes okay

becomes good friends with jeff because both felt like the odd one in the team at some point and come from very different backgrounds than ness and paula did THEYRE GOOD BUDDIES

He speaks multiple languages very well, but since english is not his first language he feels a bit lost sometimes when with friends. So doing his best effort he brings A WHOLE DICTIONARY WITH HIM AT ALL TIMES like these four will find a word not a single one of them knows and Poo will be there like. dont worry guys i got this AND PULLS OUT HIS DICTIONARY😭😭😭😭 DUDE'S READING THE ENTIRE THING TO PROPERLY UNDERSTAND HIS FRIENDS😭😭 picks magazines for english so he doesn't have to ask them every single time he's lost and to keep at the same pace they do

might be noticeable already but POO'S A TOTAL SWEETHEART HE DOES NOT MIND SAYING THE MOST SWEETEST AND CARING WORDS EVER KNOWN TO MAN and is very confused when one of the 4 cries in emotion because his words are very nice. THAT'S JUST NORMAL FOR HIM HE'S JUST LIKE THAT JUST NATURALLY VERY VERY NICE AND KIND no one can beat him on being very nice

Sometimes the only sane one in the group he is silly, but he balances the silly properly he knows when to save the silly for later

talking about him being good with people if you need to distract someone NO PROBLEM and he just does it really well DOES MAGIC TRICKS!!!! he likes doing his silly little tricks it's something he learned on the side from his training he loves seeing how people react to them

oh yeah the shortest and is confused to be younger than he is sometimes when he's the oldest in the group. basically Jeff backwards but Jeff isnt the youngest

...infj 8w9

NOW YOUD BE LIKE DAMN MICHAEL THATS A LOT OF TEXT ALREADY YOU SPENT AN HOUR WRITING THIS (yes its been an hour i think i i dont know ive been writing this since you asked when was it HELP) BUT I AM NOT DONE. I AM NOT DONE!!!

JUST JUST A FEW MORE FOR OTHER PEOPLE ASIDE FROM THE CHOSEN 4 BECAUSE i need an excuse to talk abojt tony he's my favorite favorite I could make an essay on his character

I like to think Tracy is super smart and is so smart that she's a few school grades (whatever you call um idk um school years?) ahead of what she would be for her age for it. EVEN THOUGH SHES LIKE 9 she's smarter than ness thats for sure and she mentions this but he's silly so he still needs to be the cool older brother regardless so he ignores that she's smarter GIRLIE GOT A JOB AND HE WAS LIKE TRACY WHAY ARE YOU DOING ON THE ESCARGO EXPRESS LIKE YOU ARE 9😭😭😭

i dont actually have any particular Pokey headcanon besides him being interested in tech because of mother 3 BECAUSE HE FEELS VERY FLESHED OUT ALREADY AT LEAST TO ME SO I DONT FEEL THE NEED TO DO AN ENTIRE BLOCK OF HEADCANONS FOR HIM I REALLY LIKE HIS CHARACTER THOUGH best i got possibly just enters theory territory instead

AND ABOUT TONY!!! like in the game he's a very earnest and good kid. I imagine he's seen as someone very sociable and easy to get along with to his peers LIKE HE WILL DO ANYTHING TO HELP EVERYONE FEEL INCLUDED and does an extra effort to get Jeff friends and for people to understand and like him like he be taking him to some of his other friends like. THIS IS MY BEST FRIEND!!!!!!! and theyre like Tony rhis is the sevenrh time you introduced him TONY IS THE MAIN REASON JEFF HAS ANY OTHER FRIENDS IN SNOW WOOD

tony sucks at science like really bad he's not good at anything scientific process like and would be bad at remembering them...IF HE DIDN'T TAKE THE EFFORT TO MANUALLY REMEMBER THEM BECAUSE JEFF IS THE ONE TELLING HIM. he be sitting there absorbing all that information and casually mentioning it here and there so Jeff gets really excited about it. ASIDE FROM THAT HE'S ACTUALLY GOOD AT MATH AND IT GAINED HIM A SCHOLARSHIP AT SNOW WOOD IN THE FIRST PLACE WHICH I IMAGINE IS VERY PRESTGIOUS

hes just a very hardworking kid in general THOUGH HE'S VERY CLUMSY AT TIMES. he's seen as the funny guy he cracks out jokes for everyone to laugh at people just generally like him a lot

sprta silly because lil dude is so honest and good natured he has to fight so hard to tell a lie. he's quite naive and easily forgives people WHICH OF COURSE HE'S LIKE 12 OF COURSE HE'S LIKE THAT BUT HE'S MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE

anyway im not makikg thisbany longer its already scary enough I AM SORRY. . .....I DID NOT WANT IT TO BE THIS LONG. . ..im very thankful you asked but ay the same time i feel obligated to ask for forgiveness at how long ive rambled for I just I just love this game I COULD DO MORE BUT NAW💔💔💔

[overgrownmoon]

ventpost below i need to yell into the void some more

ok i had dinner and i feel better but man there’s a lot on my mind right now and if i don’t yell about it somewhere i might explode. the problem is i don’t really know who irl might be able to genuinely help me with this issue. let me get into it, while trying to not give out too many personal details.

my baby brother is 17 years younger than me. yea, big gap. he’s actually my half brother, my stepdad and mom got married a few years ago. look, i love my stepdad. i love my bro. but… man, do i have complicated feelings.

i’m terrified we’ll never be close due to the age gap. we might never relate to each other or find common ground. i mean, im gonna move out and he’ll spend most of his childhood knowing me as someone who doesn’t live with him. will he see me as a sibling? will i just be another annoying family member mom makes him say hi to?

how can i even say that part of me is angry he exists? how can i say that and feel good about myself? listen, i dont like feeling that way, but there is a part of me that is so upset that he was born.

my younger brother and I were sat down and told the news when mom was a month pregnant. i spent the moments leading up to that reveal praying that this wouldn’t be a pregnancy announcement. then I had to pretend i wasnt thinking that. i told mama i was happy and felt so guilty, like i was lying. i’m not sure if i wasn’t.

we were never consulted. at no point did mama or my stepdad ask us how we would feel about a new sibling. never were we included in that conversation. i’m sorry, don’t i live here? isn’t this my family? don’t i have a voice in this? it felt unfair, like i wasn’t even considered as someone who would have feelings about this. it’s a huge life change, i would’ve liked to at least be asked! i still feel betrayed. and i feel selfish that i do.

no, i didn’t want a new baby in the house. i was happy with my younger bro and my new stepsister from stepdad’s side, who lives in a different state than me. i thought our family was enough. when the baby was announced, i suddenly felt that maybe i wasn’t enough. maybe me and my brother weren’t enough.

are we not enough? why did mama want another? did we not love her enough? did my stepdad not love us enough? why would they have felt that they needed a new baby between them, a new child born from their marriage, when we kids were already there? what sort of need did they feel to “validate” or “deepen their bond?” y’all are married, we had the ceremony and everything, was it not enough? i don’t understand.

it’s hard for me to understand. i have tokophobia, the fear of pregnancy. i describe it as a phobia since the very mention of it makes me feel sick and upset. i get uncomfortable just seeing a visibly pregnant person in public. the idea of a being growing inside me and using my energy frightens me, and the whole ordeal that is birth sounds like a torture scene from a horror movie. i can’t fathom why someone would want to go through that a third time! i can’t even imagine wanting to do it once!

i know it’s not my baby bros fault. he didn’t choose to be born. he’s here, and we can’t undo that. i’ll do my best to love him and raise him in this home. i’m so, so scared of the future, though.

i’m scared because i see so much of my own childhood fears coming through. as a kid i felt like a burden. that i was a leech on my parents money and time. i felt guilty for having the problems and issues every kid has because i felt that i was being an undue burden, some kind of obstacle against my parent’s happiness. i thought they would be happier if i didn’t exist, and if they were free to go travel and vacation without a needy child to take care of. in many ways i’m still shaking off those old thoughts about myself; i still find it hard to ask for help without feeling like i’m just making more problems for everyone.

will the baby feel like that? will he watch me and my brother move out, get jobs, while he has to live at home for another decade? will he watch other folks my parents age, whose children are out of the house and are free to go and do whatever they want, and feel that he is the reason his own parents can’t? will he feel that he is the burden of the family, like i did?

i hate that feeling. i don’t want him to feel that way. no kid should feel that way. i especially hate that sometimes i feel myself thinking that way about him; being annoyed that i have to watch him instead of going somewhere, that we have to be back in time for his nap instead of staying out, that we can’t go out at all because we don’t have a sitter for him. i hate it. it’s not his fault. i know that. but after going a few years where we as a family could be spontaneous, could go and do and be out for however long we wanted, and then be put back in a restrictive schedule - it sucks. i liked that freedom and i want it back. that’s not fair to him.

i don’t feel like a very good big sibling, or a very good person saying all of this. i don’t feel good at all. i struggle talking about this to anyone because that’s mum family i’m talking about, a little boy, and how dare i speak so evilly about my little baby brother? i feel like a monster. i’m could never say anything about this to mama; she’d be so hurt, because that’s her baby i’m talking about. it sucks because i can talk to mama about anything else but this. we have always been so close and i feel like this is driving. a wedge in that, because i don’t think we will ever be able to see eye to eye and understand each others views. mama had always wanted children; i will be happy with none. i dont think we’d ever be able to find a solution.

i don’t know what to do. of course i’ll never take it out on the baby, but i’m so scared of this turning into resentment that i can’t help but show around him. i can’t do that to him, make him think i hate him for something he had no control over. yet, how does one ever figure out these complicated thoughts? i don’t think i ever will. that’s terrifying to think about.

uh, thanks for reading, i guess. irl moots please know i’m fine, currently. just really in the weeds at the moment. im tired.

shit, man, family. i thought mine was already complicated enough.