#when did you ask help me i dont remember how long ive spent writing this I BEGAN WRITING SINCE YOU ASKED AND FINISHED JUST NOW HELPPP

[thedrotter]

Giggles and kicks my legs. Soooo .. how about YOU make a headcanon post

OKAY!!!! i actually have. like a. insanely long list for my mother headcanons and have an uncomplete Google docs document on them because im insane but i will make it as short as i can by only taking about mother 2 LMAOOO so imma just add a silly read more thingy here because i am about to info dump so hard

Imma go character by character because ITS JUST CLEANER...

first off silly baseball child ness

Because I'm silly like that I woke up one day and decided he was trans masc. if ness or just any male protagonist in media (looking at you link) could make money out of the amount of people that made headcanons of him not being cis I imagine there'd be alot of cash coming in

I like to think of him as half-latino and knowing spanish because WHY NOT!!! and since every single latinoamerican breathes and cherishes goku HE NEEDS TO BE A DRAGON BALL FAN he would not be accurate latinoamerican representation IF HE WASNT A DRAGON BALL FAN!!!

Out of the whole group I imagine he tries to use PSI as little as possible in his daily life once the whole journey is over, for he is more comfortable living as a normal kid. WILL NOT HESITATE TO USE HEALING POWERS IF NECCESARY but otherwise avoids it (except telepathy on animals because i have this funny thought where he has unintentionally used telepathy his entire life and thats how he knows what animals are saying BUT THOUGHT THIS WAS NORMAL??? once he figures out its not a normal thing he avoids doing it as much with people but he cannot live without knowing what the dawg be saying...

the airhead in the group. he is mostly gut oriented instead of going by brains his brain mgiht as well be a burger

ALSO THE LOUD ONE a very empathetic and easy going boy that gets easily excited about everything and just likes having fun. which means every time he gets a semblance of a negative emotion he will proceed to numb it down and ignore it causing him to just accumulate it😰 LIKE HOW HE HAS TO BEAT DIFFERENT CREATURES AND ENEMIES in his magicant they appear and look down at him for hurting them WHICH MIGHT BE HIM FEELING GUILTY BY THE FACT HE HAS TO DO THAT AND I IMAGINE HE CAN ONLY PULL HIMSELF TO DO SO BY NUMBING THE GUILT DOWN... he's just like look lets lets just get this done😞 what goes on with Pokey ending up on Giygas's side also applies to this but i will not go on detail. because I am writing fanfiction about it and rather not spoiil it😊😊😊😊

the baseball fan ever that practices daily without missing a single day and basically drags Pokey alongside him

and since. i am NORMAL... he's an ENTJ 7w8. i have spent endless hours doing personality tests for these kids i am so normal about them

he has a crush on Paula (which she returns) but is too flustered to admit this so he pretends he is not catching on to her VERY VISIBLE HINTS (she enjoys getting him flustered shes silly like that) because he's nervous about it💀💀💀

anyway PAULA TIME!!!! i am insane so i have provided some backstory for her

I imagine that she awakened her PSI pretty early on and is very gifted around it, and since it is so rare she became very popular in the media at a young age and is essentially a celebrity child. She thought it was very fun initially but she feels pressured to keep a perfect image of herself for she is considered to be a role model which painted an image of someone that wasn't her. She feels very upset about this nowadays and has tightly held onto what is important to her and her true self as to not lose it in attempting to be someone else. She basically has some anger issues out of this because she has gotten used to people not really respecting her boundaries and not being very interested in who she actually is

SHE'S STILL REALLY CARING SHE GENUINELY ENJOYS HELPING OTHERS AND IS THE ONE KEEPING THE TEAM MORALE IN BETWEEN THE FOUR even when she tends to forget taking care of herself sometimes

so yeah she isnt really amused when she's kidnapped SHE JUST GENERALLY HAS LIGHT REACTIONS TO THINGS GOING SOUTH BECAUSE SHE BASICALLY KINDA EXPECTS THAT? despite how much optimism she spreads around she's quite the pessimist (though never voices those thoughts) so she feels very drawn in when Ness is actually genuinely optimistic about everything

loves cute things so much she needs every single big plushie she finds IMMEDIATELY. kirby merch hoarder

generally a sweetheart but very bold and feisty not as much as Kumatora is but she is

if she was in the modern era she'd be a gamer and live breathe minecraft she would be the type of person that gently explains things to her friends on one side but yells when a random stranger in her team is playing horribly

really excited over her frying pan she would have gotten a bat if she didn't think itd be cool if she could use her frying pan as both a weapon and something to warm food up in. like SHE WILL USE IT IN ANY CHANCE POSSIBLE TO FEEL COOL like "Yeah ... give me that cold slice of pizza imma put in the pan . ..." pk fire some random oil she keeps around for thiw specific purpose and there it is it makes her so happy

AS I PREVIOUSLY MENTIONRD SHES VERY STRAIGHTFOWARD ABOUT HER FEELINGS FOR NESS EVERYONE KNOWS IT SHE IS NOT TRYING TO HIDE IT AT ALL but does not directly confess because she likes teasing Ness. she finds it amusing when he gets flustered about it and pretends he isn't catching on

ESFP 2w3 hehehehehehehe

now Jeff he's my favorite out of the four so his is probably going to be stupidly way longer because he's silly like that

not the usual type of shy who hides from people and stutters a lot I IMAGINE HE JUST GETS REALLY AWKWARD AND SPEAKS AS LITTLE AS POSSIBLE AND ENDS UP SOUNDING REALLY FORMAL BY ACCIDENT. He will respond to you just in very few words if some stranger suddenly starts talking to him he basically freezes up and fights internally to even say a word because he does not know how to do conversations

He's very knowledgeable in many different things and if you ask him about anything he'll answer VERY NONCHALANTLY AND SHORTLY AS IF HE DOES NOT FULLY UNDERSTAND THE SUBJECT WHEN HE IN FACT, DOES. HE SIMPLY IS NOT INTERESTED. but then you bring up inventions and guns and he will provide you a full rambling session with visual examples test runs different things to reference to for different concepts he's mentioning and every single minute detail. THERE HE ACTUALLY GETS EXCITED LIKE HE ISN'T SHY AT ALL THERE

cannot for his life comprehend social cues or idioms he takes things very literally and doesn't assume there's any hidden meaning HE'S BETTER AT THINGS THAT ARE LOGICALLY ANSWERED THAN ANYTHING SOCIAL. so yes Tony can accidentally drop a hint that he's crushing on him and DESPITE JEFF FEELING THE SAME WAY, he'll be like hm thanks tony cool I'm sure that is a very best friend thing to say i do not think there are any romantic implications here....

has an inferiority complex over the fact people credit his skills to be coming from his father (who he basically HARDLY KNOWS OR REMEMBERS SEEING PHYSICALLY BEFORE THE PROPHECY) and not to his own efforts!!! he's constantly compared to him and is expected to have the same amount of genius he does so Jeff tends to overwork himself at times to reach this standard.

has tested million types of coffee to see which one keeps him awake at night the best— but hates coffee! he prefers tea. friends assume he likes coffee because of how mcuh he drinks it he does not

oh yeah as i implied has a big fixation towards inventions and guns. he just thinks they're inteesting as hell he wasn't one to use them he just thought they were rad as hell and he WILL recognize specific ones if shown even a peak of one. he cannot live without being 100% up to date with every single type of gun in existence he needs to know all about them and understand how they work and does elaborate dissections into how they're built

even if shy once comfortable with the rest of the team he actually is one to occasionally tease them and joke around sometimes HE HAS THIS RELATIONSHIP WITH NESS WHERE THEY ARE CONSTANTLY TRYING TO ANNOY EACH OTHER without actually annoying in each other idk how you call it but they just playing around they silly like that

type of person who's face turns red at even the slightest embarassment it just happrns really easily

im not even gonna lie to you he's essentially me irl i needed a character to project myself into so i dont feel bad about not being good at social cues and at anything that is not my main interest

OH YEAH HE'S THE TALLEST HE'S VERY LANKY BUT HE'S THE TALLEST he's confused to be older than he actually is a lot of the time

i almost forgot— ISTP 5w4

NOW POO!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!

Initially took things very seriously and remained stone faced for a while but ironically became the one that made the most jokes out of everything and has a very contagious laugh— he still takes things more seriously than the rest and is the one that keeps everyone focused when it's important but is now able to relax a lot more

REALLY CHARISMATIC. LIKE HE'S AMAZING AT DEALING WITH PEOPLE EVEN IF HE PREFERS SOLITUDE.

loves animals and animals love him once found a dog and was very sad when he couldn't take him along in the journey... HE GENUINELY JUST SITS DOWN AND SPEAKS TO ANIMALS VERY CASUALLY LIKE hello sweet little dog. how are you doing on this fine saturday. awesome😊.. AND DOES MAGIC TRICKS FOR THEM😭😭😭 He's the disney princess of the group animals will just come to him and be nice to him birds sing along to this boy existing AND HE'LL BE LIKE OH, THIS IS NORMAL, while the rest of the group is just dumbfounded by rhat

i think he'd be quite tech illiterate as he spends most of his time concentrating on his training he really didn't pay much mind to technology (he preferred putting time into working on himself instead of wasting it trying to properly understand technology). BUT HE'S DOING HIS BEST HE IS INTRODUCED TO ARCADE GAMES AND THANKS TO FRIENDS BECOMES HOOKED he was a little lost but hes okay

becomes good friends with jeff because both felt like the odd one in the team at some point and come from very different backgrounds than ness and paula did THEYRE GOOD BUDDIES

He speaks multiple languages very well, but since english is not his first language he feels a bit lost sometimes when with friends. So doing his best effort he brings A WHOLE DICTIONARY WITH HIM AT ALL TIMES like these four will find a word not a single one of them knows and Poo will be there like. dont worry guys i got this AND PULLS OUT HIS DICTIONARY😭😭😭😭 DUDE'S READING THE ENTIRE THING TO PROPERLY UNDERSTAND HIS FRIENDS😭😭 picks magazines for english so he doesn't have to ask them every single time he's lost and to keep at the same pace they do

might be noticeable already but POO'S A TOTAL SWEETHEART HE DOES NOT MIND SAYING THE MOST SWEETEST AND CARING WORDS EVER KNOWN TO MAN and is very confused when one of the 4 cries in emotion because his words are very nice. THAT'S JUST NORMAL FOR HIM HE'S JUST LIKE THAT JUST NATURALLY VERY VERY NICE AND KIND no one can beat him on being very nice

Sometimes the only sane one in the group he is silly, but he balances the silly properly he knows when to save the silly for later

talking about him being good with people if you need to distract someone NO PROBLEM and he just does it really well DOES MAGIC TRICKS!!!! he likes doing his silly little tricks it's something he learned on the side from his training he loves seeing how people react to them

oh yeah the shortest and is confused to be younger than he is sometimes when he's the oldest in the group. basically Jeff backwards but Jeff isnt the youngest

...infj 8w9

NOW YOUD BE LIKE DAMN MICHAEL THATS A LOT OF TEXT ALREADY YOU SPENT AN HOUR WRITING THIS (yes its been an hour i think i i dont know ive been writing this since you asked when was it HELP) BUT I AM NOT DONE. I AM NOT DONE!!!

JUST JUST A FEW MORE FOR OTHER PEOPLE ASIDE FROM THE CHOSEN 4 BECAUSE i need an excuse to talk abojt tony he's my favorite favorite I could make an essay on his character

I like to think Tracy is super smart and is so smart that she's a few school grades (whatever you call um idk um school years?) ahead of what she would be for her age for it. EVEN THOUGH SHES LIKE 9 she's smarter than ness thats for sure and she mentions this but he's silly so he still needs to be the cool older brother regardless so he ignores that she's smarter GIRLIE GOT A JOB AND HE WAS LIKE TRACY WHAY ARE YOU DOING ON THE ESCARGO EXPRESS LIKE YOU ARE 9😭😭😭

i dont actually have any particular Pokey headcanon besides him being interested in tech because of mother 3 BECAUSE HE FEELS VERY FLESHED OUT ALREADY AT LEAST TO ME SO I DONT FEEL THE NEED TO DO AN ENTIRE BLOCK OF HEADCANONS FOR HIM I REALLY LIKE HIS CHARACTER THOUGH best i got possibly just enters theory territory instead

AND ABOUT TONY!!! like in the game he's a very earnest and good kid. I imagine he's seen as someone very sociable and easy to get along with to his peers LIKE HE WILL DO ANYTHING TO HELP EVERYONE FEEL INCLUDED and does an extra effort to get Jeff friends and for people to understand and like him like he be taking him to some of his other friends like. THIS IS MY BEST FRIEND!!!!!!! and theyre like Tony rhis is the sevenrh time you introduced him TONY IS THE MAIN REASON JEFF HAS ANY OTHER FRIENDS IN SNOW WOOD

tony sucks at science like really bad he's not good at anything scientific process like and would be bad at remembering them...IF HE DIDN'T TAKE THE EFFORT TO MANUALLY REMEMBER THEM BECAUSE JEFF IS THE ONE TELLING HIM. he be sitting there absorbing all that information and casually mentioning it here and there so Jeff gets really excited about it. ASIDE FROM THAT HE'S ACTUALLY GOOD AT MATH AND IT GAINED HIM A SCHOLARSHIP AT SNOW WOOD IN THE FIRST PLACE WHICH I IMAGINE IS VERY PRESTGIOUS

hes just a very hardworking kid in general THOUGH HE'S VERY CLUMSY AT TIMES. he's seen as the funny guy he cracks out jokes for everyone to laugh at people just generally like him a lot

sprta silly because lil dude is so honest and good natured he has to fight so hard to tell a lie. he's quite naive and easily forgives people WHICH OF COURSE HE'S LIKE 12 OF COURSE HE'S LIKE THAT BUT HE'S MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE

anyway im not makikg thisbany longer its already scary enough I AM SORRY. . .....I DID NOT WANT IT TO BE THIS LONG. . ..im very thankful you asked but ay the same time i feel obligated to ask for forgiveness at how long ive rambled for I just I just love this game I COULD DO MORE BUT NAW💔💔💔

[njmweb]

this is going to be super corny ok !

@heartjnh - (maybe you'll see this maybe not) god where do i even start . you are quite literally the best thing that happened to me and i cannot stress enough on that . i was acc so happy when we could finally talk yesterday n ive been thinking of our conversation still . you're so cute adorable amazing n everything n you're always there to support me no matter what n i feel so happy knowing that i have you , really . we've known each other for a while now n i often still read our texts from when we first talked . you're all i asked for n youre js so perfect . from our stupid inside jokes to js being an amazing person i can rely on , you're everything . i hate being mushy but i genuinely love making things for you . i love writing poems for you , i love drawing you n me , i love sending you big ass messages on how much i love you , i love getting into media you like js so i can go crazy over it w you (i started w little women for you. Btw) , i love sending you pretty pictures , i love seeing cute things in red cuz they're your favourite colour . this is getting super long but im genuinely over the moon for you n i really really really dont know what I'd do without you . you have the most special place in my heart n trust me when i say no one has even come close to being as special as you are . I love you .

(happy 669 days .. LMFA)

to the sweetest angel, my baby, the jark to my jarchan 💞

@y-vna - OOOHHH MY GOOOOOD I LOVE TALKING WITH YOU you literally make my day 1000000 times better ISTG YOU'RE THE SWEETEST PERSON EVER . reading your message made me tear up n im acc so glad we met even though i dont even know what i did to deserve you like ☹️☹️ i will remember you forever . plz dont stop sending messages like these i genuinely cherish them . so much you're one of the biggest reasons i open tumblr everyday im not even kidding . every interaction between us makes me smile sm n i always get feel so happy everytime you tag me 💓💓💓 im so happy im a person you can come to for help . i hope we continue to get to know each other better ^__^ i love you sosoosos much i cant even put it into words Ookk <33333 /p

@pupicito - LITERALLY MIY FAVOURITE PERSON ON THIS APP EVER . I loveeee talking to you smmmmm n you're so nice you always tag me in silly events in which we can participate together which means sososo much to me 💞 you never fail to make me laugh n i love getting texts from u !!!!! i hope we get to talk more n be silly when we're both not so busy i loev you !!! /p the best carat on this app !!!!!! you've been here since my tzugore era n i appreciate you supporting me up to this point <33333

@silvrrz - i dont even know how we met but like ??? you're one of my fav people ever and i love waking up every day knowing i get to see n be silly w you . i have one of theee best memories ever with you and i would kill to experience them for the first time again . n the way you dont even like skinship but you willingly let me hug and cry into your shoulder on our sports meet says sm abt you . i love every minute of our time together n i love going out to diff places n window shopping w you its genuinely my fav thing ever !!!! after all of our exams are done i hope u me isa n elili can hang out together again <3

@jdopes-recorder - you're a little too obsessed with me but ok 😒 i hope we stay friends for a really long time though ! im so glad you feel comfortable enough to open up to me n im so glad i could be of some help . i love spending time together n we definitely havent spent enough 👎🏼👎🏼 you're also one of my fav ppl ever n even though you barely talk to me i still like getting texts n voice mails from you i Guess . thank you for being the loveliest wife 🎀 (although a shitty co parent ....) n i hope we still can talk frequently in college bc if not i will show up in your house bc of how much ill miss you (although ill never admit that.)

being madly in love with someone platonically is so ridiculous. hey man i think about you all the time. i wish you were here right now. talking to you makes me indescribably happy. i miss you. honestly what the hell

[leossmoonn]

Play Ground Days

masterlist

pairing - carl gallagher x fem!reader

type - fluff

note / request - “ughh FINALLY someone that writes good imagines abt carl from shameless! could you write one where you two grew up together and you've always been close n stuff and then at some point he realizes he loves the reader and he talks to ian and lip (maybe mickey too bc i love him) about it? (fem!reader btw if that's cool) thanks babe xx” thanks for inspo on the beginning @poesflygirl​ <3 ,,, carl and you are 16 also pls dont come for me ive only played COD 2 times last year so lmao i dont remember a lot about it, enjoy!

summary - carl has liked you since you two were young, and seeks advice from his brothers and mickey

warnings - strong language, drugs and alcohol, little talk about bad body imagine 

————

*gif isnt mine*

“I fucking knew it!” Lip exclaimed.

“Why are you telling us? We’ve known this.” Ian commented, smirking at his little brother.  

“How the hell—” Carl started. 

“You’re not exactly great at hiding your crush on her,” Mickey chuckled. 

Carl’s eyes were the size of saucers. “You knew?”

“Of course I did. I’m not fucking Helen Keller,” Mickey rolled his eyes. 

Carl groaned and ran his hands roughly through his hair. “I can’t believe this. Well, secret’s out, I guess. What do I do?”

“Just go tell her you like her. It’s not like she’s going to turn you down.” Lip shrugged, putting his cigarette to his lips. 

“Lip!” Ian hit his brother’s shoulder. 

“What?” Lip asked. 

“You weren’t supposed to say that, dumbass,” Mickey said.

 “What does that mean?” Carl asked, looking in-between his brother’s and Mickey. 

Lip sighed. “Ah, shit, right. I’ve already said too much.”

————

4 hours earlier: 2:00 PM

“Hey, shit head!” She called out, throwing rocks against the window. 

Carl got up from his bed, shocked but happy to see her. He opened his window, leaning against the frame. 

“What’re you doing here?” He asked.

She threw the rocks to the ground. “Escaping from my druggie dad, duh. What’re you doing?”

“Nothing,” Carl shrugged. 

She did her signature smirk that always made Carl’s heart flutter. “Wanna go and stuff our faces at Patsy’s Pies?”

Carl’s eyes lit up at the mention of fatty, greasy food. “Hell yeah. I’ll come down.”

She nodded, going to the front of their house. Carl ran down the stairs, putting on his shoes and opening the door to find her on the steps. 

“Hey, why didn’t you just come into the house?” Carl asked, shutting the door behind him. 

“Putting damage on your window seemed more fun. Oh, hey! Do you have an extra bed I can sleep in tonight?” She asked. 

Carl nodded. “Yeah, of course. Your dad is that bad, huh?”

“Yep, he relapsed. Super fun,” she laughed sarcastically. 

“I’m sorry. That shit sucks,” Carl said.

She shrugged. “Yeah, well, it’s life. Anyways, ready to go?”

Carl nodded. They got into her car, the girl starting it and driving fast to the dinner. As she was driving, humming to the songs on the radio, Carl stared at her. She was absolutely gorgeous. 

Her name was Y/n L/n. Carl’s oldest and only real friend. They had grown up together, Y/n living only a few houses away from him. They had met in detention in 1st grade and had been close ever since. 

“What’re you staring at?” Y/n asked, glancing over to him. 

Carl blushed. “Nothing.”

“Alright,” Y/n sang.

Carl had often been caught staring at her. It was something he usually did from time to time, but now it was more often. He couldn’t help it. There was something about her. Maybe flawless her skin was, how pretty and bright her smile and eyes were, the way she would make him feel secure and loved, something he had never got from anyone consitently. 

He never really knew why he thought those things about her. People had told him that he probably had a crush on her, but he knew that wasn’t right. He had crushes on girls before and the things he was feeling for Y/n were a lot different than what he had felt for his past girlfriends. He figured it was just that she was his closest friend and he happened to be a horny teenager, so naturally, he just thought those things about her. But oh, how wrong he actually was. 

Y/n parked her car at Patsy’s Pies. They walked into the diner, seeing Fiona at the register. 

“Hey, Fi,” Y/n smiled. 

“Hey, Y/n, Carl! Long time, no see. How are ya?” Fiona asked. 

“Good, good,” Y/n smiled. 

“Good,” Carl said. 

“Great! Well, get yourself seated and someone will be right with you,” she smiled. 

Y/n and walked off to a small booth and sat down. They picked up the menus that were already on the table. 

“You gonna get your usual?” Y/n asked. 

Carl shrugged. “Maybe. Should I change it up?”

“Yes. The double bacon cheeseburger looks good,” Y/n said. 

“Are you getting that?” Carl asked. 

“Maybe. I’ll probably get a salad or something. Gotta watch those calories, you know?” She half-joked, putting a hand on her stomach. 

“I think you look good. You don’t need to worry,” Carl smiled. 

Y/n’s eyes widened. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Carl nodded. 

Y/n looked back at the menu, hiding her embarrassment.

Carl complimenting her was something that was rare, but did happen. Y/n never remembered Carl as a romantic type of guy, but it seems that he had developed  those traits from having a few girlfriends. She liked that, actually. She liked him complimenting her, staring at her for minutes at a time, the way his ears would turn red when she teased him. She liked all of that. 

Y/n would never admit it to anyone, but she had a crush on Carl. She had a crush on him since their freshman year of high school. Well, in reality, she probably has always had one, but the first time she really realised she liked him was in biology when he got in trouble in one of the labs. She remembered when the teacher was yelling at him and he looked at her, smiling at her mischievously and winking at her. That wink had her heart racing and mind go foggy. From then on, she had liked him as more than a friend. Yet, she never said anything because well, as cliche as it was, she was afraid of ruining their friendship. He was really the only one who got her and who never abandoned her. She couldn’t lose him, so she just kept her feelings and gestures to him as friendly as she could.  

“Hi, I’m Carly and I’ll be serving you today. What can I get you today?” The waitress asked. 

“Hi, can I get the philly cheesesteak with a medium coke and fries,” Carl ordered. 

Carly nodded and wrote his order down, turning to Y/n. 

“Um, I’ll get the bacon cheeseburger with a small sprite and fries. Thanks,” Y/n ordered. 

Carly took their menus. “Great. I’ll have your drinks out soon.”

Y/n and Carl smiled at the waitress as she walked away. 

“Hey, so I thought your dad was in rehab,” Carl said. 

Y/n sighed. “He was, but I guess his girlfriend got him drunk, then convinced him to do some lines. God, I can’t believe he's even with her still.”

Carl frowned. “What about your mom? Where’s she?”

“She’s going to nursing school right now. She’s the only one responsible in this family, yet she never calls or anything,” she scoffed.

“You’re really responsible,” Carl said. 

Y/n smiled. “Thanks, C. You are, too.”

Carl laughed, “Me? I sold drugs on the streets once.”

She giggled. “True. But you’ve really shaped. I'm proud.”

Carl smiled sheepishly. “Thanks.”

Y/n hummed a ‘you’re welcome’. Carly came back with their food quickly and they dug in. Carl and Y/n spent their time talking and eating, spending about 2 hours there as they just kept talking. 

“Are you two finished?” Carly asked, gesturing to their empty plates. 

“Yeah,” Carl nodded. 

“Great. Here’s your bill, pay whenever you’re ready,” Carly smiled and took their dirty dishes. 

“Ready to go?” Y/n asked. 

Carl nodded and got out his wallet that he had in his shorts. Meanwhile, Y/n also got out her wallet. They both looked up at each other, awkward expressions on their faces. 

“Oh, I was gonna pay,” Carl said. “No, no, my treat. I invited you here,” Y/n said. 

“You sure?” Carl asked. 

She smiled and put a hand on his arm. “Yes, I am, Carl.”

Butterflies irrupted in Carl’s stomach as she touched him. He nodded slowly, putting his credit card away. Y/n and him walked up to the register and paid for their meal. They then went back to Y/n car. 

“What do you wanna do now?” Y/n asked. 

“Wanna play COD Black Ops 3?” Carl asked. 

“Yes!” Y/n smiled. She drove them back to his house, parking haphazardly on the street. 

The two hurried into the house, grabbing a seat on the couch. Carl got the controllers, turning onto the playstation. Y/n logged onto her account, selecting the gun she wanted to use. Carl then started the game. 

“Where are you?” Y/n squinted her eyes at the screen. 

“Right behind you,” Carl smirked. 

Y/n turned around, gasping as Carl shot her. 

“Fuck you!” Y/n exclaimed. 

“Little rusty, huh?” Carl teased. She rolled her eyes. “I’m gonna kill you next round.”

“I’d like to see you try,” Carl said. 

“Winner gets to pick what’s for dinner,” Y/n said. 

“Deal,” Carl nodded. 

The pair played for a couple hours, the game ending with Y/n getting the last kill. 

“Good game,” she smirked, setting the controller down. 

“I forgot how good you were at this,” Carl frowned. Y/n giggled, “I forgot how bad you were.”

Carl rolled his eyes with a smile. “Alright, where do you want to eat?”

“Hm… Noodles n Company?” She suggested. 

“Sure,” Carl nodded. 

“Alright, I’m gonna use the bathroom and then order. Text me what you want,” Y/n said, getting up from the couch. 

Carl nodded and watched her go upstairs to use the bathroom. Then that’s when Lip, Ian, and Mickey all came into the house. 

“Hey, guys,” Carl said. 

“Hey,” Ian smiled. 

“Is Y/n here? We saw her car out front,” Lip said. “Yeah, she is,” Carl nodded. 

“Asked her out yet?” Lip smirked. Carl’s face turned red. “Wh-What?”

“Oh, you’re not in love with her then?” Ian furrowed his brows. 

“I… am I?” Carl asked. 

Ian chuckled. “Yeah. You always are always happy around her, blush whenever she teases you.”

“And you’re always staring at her,” Lip added.

“That doesn’t mean I like her,” Carl said.

“Do feel dizzy and nauseous when she touches you? Does your heart race when she gets close? Do you see yourself kissing her? Would you do anything for her?” Ian asked. 

Carl furrowed his brows. They were right, all those things did happen when she was near. She was his best friend. He also sometimes think about kissing her and being with her in a romantic way. And yeah, of course he would do anything for her. Maybe… Maybe he did love her. 

“Oh, shit,” he muttered. “I… I guess I am in love with her.”

And that, ladies and gents, is where we left off. Lip, Ian, and Mickey teased Carl until Carl begged them for real help. 

“What do you mean?” Carl asked anxiously. 

Lip looked to Ian and Mickey for help on what to say. Little did Carl know, Y/n actually did admit her crush to someone. And that someone, or someones, were Lip, Ian, and Mickey. 

“Don’t worry about it, man,” Mickey said. 

“Did she say something to you?” Carl asked. “No,” Ian shook his head. “Like Mick said, don’t worry.”

“I… fine. Well, what do I do then?” Carl asked in slight distress.

“Give her some flowers and chocolate. Girls love that shit,” Lip suggested. 

“Alright,” Carl nodded. “I don’t know what her favourite flowers are, though.”

“Just get her roses. That’s really romantic,” Lip said. 

Carl smiled, “Alright. Awesome. Thanks, guys.”

He decided to get the flowers early morning tomorrow before Y/n woke up. 

————

Carl sneaked back into the house, hoping not to wake Y/n up. As he walked into the kitchen, he was shocked to see her at the table drinking coffee. 

“Hey, Carl!” Y/n smiled. 

Carl’s eyes were blown wide. “I.. uh…”

“Who are those for?” Y/n got up and pointed to the flowers and chocolate in his hand. 

“Um… you?” Carl said. Y/n smiled. “Me? What did I do to deserve this?”

Carl knew that he couldn’t make up an excuse. He was horrible at lying to her. So, he decided to just have his confession here. 

“I.. I’m in love with you,” Carl said. Y/n’s jaw dropped and she froze. “Wha-What?”

“My brothers and Mickey helped me realise I was yesterday when you were ordering dinner. They told me I should get you flowers and stuff so I did. I hope you like roses,” Carl explained and held up the gifts. 

Y/n’s lips upturned in a wide smile. “How long have you liked me?”

“Honestly, probably since we were little,” Carl shrugged sheepishly. 

Y/n giggled. “Me, too.”

“Really?” Carl smiled. 

Y/n waked up to him and took the gifts, setting them on the kitchen counter. She went up to him and put her arms around his neck. 

“Yep. I always have,” she grinned. 

“Oh, sick!” Carl exclaimed. “Oh wait.”

“What?” Y/n asked in confusion. 

“That’s what they meant!” Carl exclaimed in realisation.

“Who? What?” “Oh, Lip, Mickey, and Ian kind of told me yesterday when I asked for help,” Carl explained. 

Y/n’s eyes widened and she turned to the stairs, glaring. “Mickey, Lip, Ian! You better fucking run!”  

————

Like and Reblog!

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taglist (crossed out means i couldnt tag)

@kaitieskidmore1 @the-anxious-youth @little-miss-naill @powerpuffluuvv

[hoodieofholland]

If this is too much to ask I understand, but I was wondering if you could write something with the reader telling tom the reason why she has trust issues and didn't want a relationship with him at first, and that's because all those times men in your life hurt you? 🌷

This is somewhat personal, cause ive been through a bad relationship. I still have worries that are related to things i experienced in it, things that have me thinking about postponing looking for smth serious bc i dont want it to be drama all the time. Anyways, there's love out there and you don't have to hold on smth bad, if anyone is passing through this, just let go and put yourself first, always.

Warnings: mentions of heartbreak, mentions of abusive relationship.

You play with the hem of you shirt as the two of you sit beside one another on the small sofa of your living room. Tom was worried -- his entire face showed that off. He cared about you and about your feelings in a way that got him thinking if he had taken a much more larger step than he was supposed to.

"Is it something that I did?", he asks softly, as if his words could hurt your in some sort of way. You looked up at him, blinking a few tears away as you tried to regain some strength to talk about it.

"No, it's just- I love our relationship, Tom. I truly do, but...", you try to speak.

"But you don't wanna be with me?", he can't help but ask, and then he closes his eyes briefly, "I'm sorry, I'll let you speak. Go ahead"

You sigh and smile thankfully. "I want to. Don't get me wrong... I can't stop imagining what it'd be like to be your girlfriend. We spend such a great time together and I love everything about our relationship, from everything that is physical to our conversations", it's good to finally be honest with him.

You and Tom were in a really... delicate situation. Since the first time you hook up, you made it very clear that you wanted no strings attached. You liked him since the first time your were introduced to one another, through common friends, but you still didn't want anything serious with anyone.

It wasn't Tom. It was your past.

Everything was proving to be much more difficult through months being together, because you couldn't help but fall for the brown haired boy. He was kind, sweet, always kissed you passionately and treated you like you were a really important person for him. And there were not many people who did that to you.

You were grateful for it and you thought that maybe could deal with that feeling, hiding it, in sake of your friendship with him and the time you spent together. But right after the last time you slept together, when you were laying your head on his bare chest, his slender fingers tracing circles on your back, he whispered something that made both of your chest ache in realisation.

"I'm in love with you".

You felt a coward, but you still did what you thought was the best -- you gathered your things together, just like your deepest feelings, and made your way out of his bedroom.

It's been a week since then and Tom decided to give you the space you needed, as your replies to his messages made it clear enough. When you finally felt the courage to tell him what was going on, you called him up to your place, and that's how you ended up here.

"So what's wrong, love?", Tom asks, his voice still low as he tries to understand what's going inside your head. "Look, I know I agreed with this whole no strings thing, but- I changed my mind. I mean, I thought you did too, that's why I brought it up. I'm sorry if I disrespected your space, but I had to tell you how I felt. I couldn't betray both of us this way anymore. This is much more than just a casual hook up for me now, y/n".

You bite your lips. Yes, that's exactly what you did, you lied to him and tried to lie to yourself. All because you were too afraid to say the exact same words that he is saying now.

You run your hands over your cheeks before crossing your legs on the sofa and taking a large breathe. "What is wrong, in fact, is that... I- I'm afraid. I'm afraid this might go wrong, I'm afraid that we ruin what we have".

"By taking our relationship more seriously? How come?", Tom frowns, "I'm sorry, but I'm not understanding your point-".

"I'm afraid that we might end up like my old relationships!", you finally let out, in one loud shout, facing the ground as you close your hands in tight fists. The emotions you so hardly buried inside of your chest comes out and you feel it. You remember how miserable you felt when you were dating your last boyfriend, how he made sure to put you in the lowest mindset so he could make himself more of a man, how he always wanted to get the spotlight when he was with you. He needed to be the smartest. He needed to put you down, so he could feel like a winner.

Tom goes silence, he watches as you try to come up with a better explanation, reading through your face as you lick your lips and finally look at his face again.

"It was awful. I felt awful. And what killed me for a long time was that I couldn't trust anyone. I couldn't trust anyone could truly want what was good for me. I felt so hurt. And people always acted like I was doing drama, like I was overreacting, but that's not how I felt. I- I don't wanna go through that again, Tom, and I'm just so afraid"

Tom's frown deepens on his forehead and he gets closer to you on the sofa, hesitantly asking to bring you to his arms in a soft hug. You accept it, closing yoir eyes as you let yourself get lost in his scent.

"I'm sorry about that, darling", he whispers, kissing the top of your head. "I'm so sorry that you had to go through this, you don't deserve it at all. You deserve to be loved, and whoever on this earth has the lucky to call you their and treat you like this... whoever did it doesn't deserve a shit. You're so- so kind and loving. And loveable", he pulls you away for a bit to look at your face, cupping your cheeks with his hand, thumb caressing your skin. "I love you, y/n. I love every piece of you, and believe me when I say I tried really hard to be loyal to our agreement and not to fall for you, but it was just... unnatural", he chuckles, rubbing away a single tear that drop from your eyes.

"I understand your worries and I'm gonna respect whatever choice you make, but... I need to say that I'm not gonna treat you like this. I'm gonna love you, if you're willing to try it. To try and be my- my girlfriend. I can give you the love you deserve, sweetheart".

You sniff, blinking away the wetness on your eyes. Tom kissed the tip of your nose, his thumbs rubbing small circles on your cheeks.

"It's up to you, y'know. I don't want to push you. But I need you to know it all", he sighs and rests his forehead against yours.

You nod slowly and smile. He was kind, he carried about you. He was your Tom this whole time, not just a hook up, not just your secret lover. He was one of your best friends. He would never put both of you in a competition, when he was always trying to put you in the spotlight, to make you laugh, to make you shine. He wasn't a dick, like your old boyfriends. Love wasn't over just because of bad experiences. Tom has showed you that, that you could fall for another man again.

You smile widens when you give him a slight peck on the lips, making him open those beautiful brown eyes.

"I want it. I want to be your girlfriend".

He smiled. And when you thought you've seen the greatest joy in Tom's face already, you were watching him glow now, taking you into a passionate kiss as both of you giggled and held into one another to share a love none of you expected in the first place.

[kaz11283]

I really like the prompt list you reblogged it’s got some good stuff. What about 37. “Because I love you god damn it!” with Loki if you are still needing inspiration.

37) Because I Love You God Damn It!

~~~~

The Secret Is Out

Characters: the Avengers Bunch, Loki, Thor, Clint

Warnings: Dirty words, slight angst

Summary: after putting your life in the line for a teammate you accidentally let a big secret slip.

Announcements: I will always need insperation and requests! They feed my soul! Haha. I'm not gonna lie. Im skipping back and forth on my requests though. I have a really good story line for one but its just so emotional(thats were Im hoping it goes at least) that I didnt want to write it tonight and put my self in a mood. So instead I guess im goimg with a form of anger? Meh. Anyways... I absolutly love love love everything from you guys! The reblogs, likes, and comments are amazing and I am very greatful for all the love I am getting!!!! 💚💚💚💚💚

Loki Masterlist

~~~~

The fight had been rough but not as rough as you were feeling in the moment. You had gotten serverly hurt and had been in the medbay for about a week now and you had a longer road ahead. There had been an explosion and instead of turning to run away you had ran toward one of your team members that had been to distracted to realize what was going on, you had successfully gotten him shoved out of the way but you had taken the brunt of the blast.

Now you were laying here staring at the celing trying to stay distracted as Bruce and Tony looked at your completely shaddered knee and the burns up your leg. Fingers crossed that they would have good news soon.

"Well as of right now kid your out of commission." Tony said helping you sit back up.

"Meaning?" You pulled one of the pillows down so that you could sit up without being uncomfortable.

"Meaning right now, the way it all looks, your gonna be stuck in the bed until it fully heals and after wards theres really no way to tell if your going to be able to work in the field again." Burce said looking at the xrays again. "And your gonna have to have surgery in order to put all the right pieces back in the right places, but we cant really do that until some of the burns heal or at least start to heal. Its gonna be a long drawn out process unfortunately." He sighed setting the charts back down and walking over to you.

"Fucking hell! You mean I'm gonna be pushing paper work? I might as well go work in a damn office with four white walls and a poster that says 'hang in there, its almost Friday'." You placed your head in your hands.

"Hey! At least our paper work is more exciting than just running numbers." Tony said placing a hand on your back. He had been like a fsther to you, taking you in when you didnt have anywhere else to turn except the streets. Your own family had abandoned you at a young age and you had been leaning toward a dark path until Tony. "Besides with your expertise you dont have to sit behind a desk, your fingers arent blown off, you can still hack into stuff I'm sure."

"Tony we had a deal when I moved in. No hacking but you would train me and I could actually do good. Now look at me."

"I said no hacking the good guys, and if I remember correctly you were the one jumping close to the bomb not away from. I hate to be this way y/n but the only one to blame is yourself on this one."

"He would have been worst off than I am if not killed. I think I did the right thing. Besides you would have done the same thing if you had been closer." You sighed.

"Honey the diffrence with that is I have a supersuit, you wear a skin tight, spandex one peice, that I'm not a fan of." He laughted. Bruce had went to go get you some more pain killers to shoot into your IV.

"Tony if I were you I would shut up. Your starting to sound like you might actually love me, might even say your starting to act like a dad." You laughed pulling him into a hug.

"Shut it kid, cant let the others know I have a soft spot for the hacker orphan kid i took in all those years ago now can I." He said kissing the top of your head. "Do you need anything else before the drugs kick in and you pass out again?"

"Yes, can you please bring me my phone charger, laptop, and that really fluffy blanket that you and Pep got for me for Christmas."

"Dont ask to much of me now."

"I wouldnt be asking if you would just let me stay in my room. I hate it down here. I wanna be were the people are." You were starting to get loopy from whatever Bruce had given you.

"Ok little mermaid, get some rest I'll get your stuff." He laughed walking out the door letting you fall into a restless sleep.

You didnt know how long you hade been asleep but you woke up with a groan trying to sit up so you could atleast stretch your back from laying in one spot for to long. You flopped back down dramatically with a sigh. You could sense someine else in the room with you, you always knew when he was around.

"You dont have to hide in the shadows Loki. Your more than welcome to keep me company, you should know that by now." You smiled as the prince walked over and sat in the chair beside you. You could tell he hadnt been sleeping, his hair was fixed as always but his clothes looked worst for wear. He had on a plain black shirt and a pair of gray sweat pants, both of with had wrinkles in them either from tossing and turning or from not being changed in a few days.

"Whats wrong? And dont pull that 'nothing is wrong dear. I'm absolutly fine.' Bullshit. You look horrible." You reatched out to grab his hand. What you and Loki had was diffrent. You didnt just see his as a friend, he didnt just see you as that either though. You had spent many nights sitting up with the silver tounge man many nights laying on the couch watching movies, reading, talking about each of your pasts. He knew more about you than even Tony did.

"I'm still currently trying to wrap my head around why you pushed me out of the way and took the blow when you had a chance of dying from it. You shouldnt have been so thick headed my dear." He took your hand and raised it to his lips kissing the top of your hand.

"Loki." You sighed rolling your head to look back up at the celing. "You would have been hurt alot wordt than I am now, that blast could have killed you."

"I am a god y/n, that blast wouldnt have caused me nearly as much damage as it did you." His voice raised slightly.

"Thats what you think. You think that because you are "immortal" that you can take anything thats thrown at you. That no one really cares about you, that you wouldnt be missed? So why not try to take a blow from a bomb? My god your so stupid sometimes."

"I know I can. Norns y/n I've jumped into space, been brain washed, tried to take over New York, gotten smashed around by the Hulk. I was raised with Thor, he doesnt really go easy on a person. What I'm saying is I dont understand why you, a mear midguardian, would sacrifice themselves for me. If anything would have happened-"

"Nothing did happen though. I'm fine-"

"You have steel sticking from your leg, theres no telling when or even if you'll be able to walk again, and there are highly server burns that will leave scares. You cannot sit there and tell me that you are fine."

"Your right it does suck that I'm jot gonna be able to pull off shorts or a bikini anymore."

"This isnt a joke y/n. You almost died!" He finally yelled.

"And i would do it a thousand times over if that ment saving your damn ass again!" You shouted back.

"Why though?! Why me y/n? I've done horrible things, killed people! My life is meaningless." Tears had sprang to his eyes as he looked away.

"Because I love you God damn it!" You stopped suddenly your jaw dropping at the admission that you hadnt ment for him to hear. His head jerked back to you.

"What?" Shock was all over his face as he stood to walk closer to you. "What did you just say?"

"Because I love you Loki Odinson. Because if you were to die I dont think I would be able to go on living. Because even if you see all the bad things that you've done I can look pass that amd see all the good that you are doing." You reached up placing a hand on his cheek and wiping away a tear.

"I love you too y/n. I have since the day I met you. The girl that didnt care what anyone said when she spent time with me. The girl that can see through every face i put on. I love you so much darling." He placed his hand on your face and leaning down gently kissing your lips.

It felt like you thought it always should you felt electricity run through your body and the two of you connected. It was like getting a breath after not being able to for so long. He pulled away smiling at you.

"What do we tell the others?" He asked laying on with bed with you being easy with your leg. He placed his arm around your middle and pulled you as close as he could.

"I honestly dont care what we tell them. They can figure it out themseves for all I care." You smiled lacing your fingers with his, you yawned placing your head on his shoulder closing your eyes.

"Sleep now my Dove, I will be here when you wake." He felt your gentle breath slow as you fell asleep, the rhythm you of your breath lulling him into his own sleep.

Tony and Bruce walked in the next morning stopping dead at the sight in front of them. You and Loki were still cuddled on the small bed sleeping peacefully.

"Should we wake them up?" Bruce asked looking at Tony.

"Na, let them sleep. Dont want to let them know that we know." Tony saod grabbing Bruce's arm and turning to walk back out of the door.

~~~~

Tag List:

@kgirardin

@sophlubbwriting

@supbeeches

@high-functioning-lokipath

[souichieatr]

wanna be yours, ch2

suna x freader , foxy boy

where in which two opposites fall in love

a/n: for everyone who commented on the posts youve been added sorry i cant reply <//3 if you're interested in being in the taglist send me an ask, i was thinking of making a playlist for the au would anyone be interested? lmk !! sorry if there are any mistakes or if its bad this is my first writing <3

ch1. this voice im hearing rn? , hey bestie

word count: 2,090

the first song- The Ghost of You- my chemical romance

second song- I Bet on Losing dogs- mitski

third song- Crybaby- destroy boys

pocketing her phone after reading tendous message, she opens the door waving to a couple friends and offers friendly smile taking her seat. a pair of pale green eyes follow her. after yesterday suna did a little research about her y/n y/l/n the bassist and youngest in the band called 4u, she has quite a big following on twitter, she's really nice and interacts with the fans. looking at her now you can't imagine her on stage suna thought. breaking away from his thoughts as the teacher walks in. spouting for about what feels like hours and the students taking notes, finally lunch approaches. y/n jumps from her seat grabbing her case she walks to the third year hallway. waving to her friends they walk to her, tendou wrapping his arms around her “y/n!!!!!! i missed you” laughing as she hugged him back “tendou!!! i missed you toooo.” she turns to the grey haired male, “semisemi!!” she says giving him a hug, he rolls his eyes and hugs her back “and ushi!!” she turns to the brunette to which he pats her head “good afternoon y/n.” as they go to the lunch room to grab their lunch, they walk to one of the music rooms they usually occupy. a beep from her phone grabs her attention seeing her friend atsumu asking if him his twin and their friend can join for lunch, “hey guys you dont mind if atsumu and his friends come join us?” she says setting down her case against the wall. “nah you can invite them, atsumu is our biggest hype man” tendou says, grabbing his drum sticks from his back pocket. texting him its cool she goes to unzip her bass. “oh ms lady ive missed you” she says hugging the instrument, “i can't believe you two and always wanting to play, dont yall have any other hobby?” semi says, grabbing the schools given guitar setting the speaker up for y/n. tendou gives a scoff “semisemi dont act like you hate hearing us play i see you listening to our covers alllll the timeeeee” he says “yeah semi besides we have a concert soon and it wouldnt be bad to have an audience” y/n says walking to semi to connect her bass to the speaker when the door opens, entering is atsumu in the middle, osamu on his left, and a mystery guy in the back. setting her bass down running up to the blond “tsumu!!” giving him a hug “y/n!!” he hugs her back, she waves to osamu, who shes met on an occasion. looking towards the dark haired guy she walks up to him, noticing shes seen him somewhere. “youre suna right? we're in the same class?” she says giving him a hand and a awkward smile, nodding at her words. “hope its okay im here” he says taking her hand giving a slight shake. “nah dont worry its nice to have a different face, seeing tsumu is getting boring” turning around to the male. “what she means to say is we could use practice in front of new people” the grey haired male says giving a small laugh when tendou scoffs at him, both guys walking towards the small group. “this is semi and this is tendou” she says introducing them. when the introductions are over the two males go back to setting up, y/n walks the newcomers to the sitting area “here you guys can sit, im sure you all know ushijima” on hearing his name he looks up from his name giving a small head bow. they all sit “any recommendations tsumu?” y/n says walking to her bass making sure everything was good, looking towards the small group. “y/n you know my favorites” atsumu says stealing one of his brothers onigiri. y/n laughs and rolls her eyes, turning to tendou “anything you wanna try tori?” tendou looks at her with a smile “y/n lets show semi whatweve been working on” hearing this semi looked at them “what do you guys mean? what did you two do” y/n chuckles at the grey hairs doubtful expression “mr semisemi you know your favorite mcr song” when she sees him nod she continues “me and tori learned it” she says pushing him lightly. semi looked at her with wide eyes then at tendou, looking at semi tendou flicked his drum stick between his fingers with a nod. “wow semi cant believe you, we spent so much hours perfecting a my chemical romance for your sap self and he doesn't believe us y/nie i might

” tendou says fake sniffing. the little group in the back beyond confused, atsumu clearing his throat “have you three forgotten us already, wheres our show” ushijima nodding his head “yeah why are you guys being so vague” tendou snickers “dont worry you three and wakatoshi we have decided to play a new song or well cover i should say” “yeah and its semi’s favorite band you know the one that he wears on his shirts?” ushijima looking towards the girl after hearing her statement he nods. “okay can we play now ive been waiting to show my skills and get our lovely semi's opinion” y/n says removing her pick, both boys giving a ‘yeah’. finally tendou does the countdown. suna looks at all three of them with slight excitement in his stomach, ‘is this a new song im going to hear?’ before he could think of anything else, semi started playing a few chords by himself and y/n starting to add her own strums then tendou adding drums. sunas eyes widen at how well all the sounds blended together, freezing in his spot when semi started singing, when hitting the chorus y/n joins him. suna looking at her, he felt like he had been put in a trance, feeling like theres a spotlight on her when she starts nodding her head seeing her tongue sticking out when stringing the instrument. towards the end you can see y/n lose focus and her eye twitches, ending the song she sighs. “hey sorry about the end” waving to the guys to her left with a frown. hearing applause from the group the frown doesnt last long. “WHOOO!!!!! THAT WAS MY BESTIES GO SEMI! GO TENDOU! GO Y/N!!” atsumu gets up and yells. “that was so good what the hell that was yer first time too?” he says going up to the group, high-fiving y/n. “i mean me and tendou practiced together but semi basically has every song by them memorized but together? yeah our first.” tendou getting up to get his water that was next to ushijima. semi joining the fake blond and the girl, patting her on her back “that was a good first for us i can tell you and tendou worked hard, we're definitely adding it to the set list.” getting a laugh from both of them semi walks to the small group. “hey man that was really good, you have a nice voice” suna says as semi approaches, semi turned to him surprised “oh thank you im glad you enjoyed, do you listen to our stuff?” he says taking a seat next to him. “ive recently just started, i hope that doesnt sound too weird” the dark haired suddenly getting a little embarrassed, chuckling “its not weird i promise, well its good you listen to us or im sure it would've been awkward to just be here” nodding along to what he said. tendou going back to the drums “are you cowards tapping out now?” “COWARDS?!?!” y/n yells back turning around “i am no coward tendou satori i'll make you eat those words semi get over here” she said grabbing semis attention and shooing atsumu back to his seat. chuckling as he sat back down, turning to suna “howd ya like em? theyre good huh?” suna rolling his eyes “im not going to help inflate your ego tsumu” “yeah tsumu yer big ego is not cute” gasping to their remarks “you guys are so mean to me, i introduce you to nice music and even the artists and this is the thanks i get” before any could respond tendou starts clicking his sticks. starting this one is tendou with a slower sound, y/n entering second then semi with vocals. y/n leans down to mess with something by her foot turning a notch noises like static come out adding to the music, coming up fast she starts adding her vocals complimenting semis. pressing on the box she leans down as more noises come out. atsumu leans over to sunas ear “thats a pedal that holds other sounds and can help stretch other sounds” suna giving him a nod. towards the end y/n reaches down to the pedal again adding a distorted sound before adding her last bit of ‘oohs’ before the song ends. everyone clapping as the members stay still for s bit before y/n dramatically bows “youre so welcome lovely audience” she says blowing kisses to them, laughing at her atsumu jumps up and down pretending to be a crazy fan “oh y/n you were so go

od i love you y/n!!!” y/n laughing at him. “hey atsumu what about me!” tendou asks swinging his hand “howd i do?” “oh tendou you were so good, i love you too tendou!!!” he says swinging his arm back. tendou satisfied with his response nods his head, “and with that lets play one more i still want time to actually eat before we play again later.” “yeah lets try ‘crybaby’ we haven't done that in awhile” semi says getting in position.“remember y/n you do the verses” y/n nods clearing her throat “go tori” she says and tendou starts the counting again. starting the counting fast he gets one beat then y/n starts off with singing, swinging her bass back she grabs the mic. suna cracks a smile nodding his head a little as he remembers this song on their youtube, atsumu whistling when y/n dips down her mic as she sings, letting the boys have a solo in between verses she bobs her head. the last few seconds of the song she swings the instrument back as she steps on the pedal creating feedback, as semi goes to vocals she starts getting a solo with tendou playing, y/n leans forward and her and semi sing the rest of the song. after the last note they all look out of breath. clapping for them again letting them catch their breath, y/n starts laughing “i forget how hard that song is towards the end” laughing with her tendou nods “its literally the last 50 seconds that get the hardest” “alright lets clean up” semi says laughing at both of their bored looks they send him. finishing up they all go to the group whove are talking among themselves. sighing as she sits y/n takes the seat next to suna, “so howd you like the songs?” she says with a smile “they were good though i only recognized the last one” he replies, “tsumu told me you started listening to us recently so i thought or well semi thought wed show off a bit with our best song being that” she says with a smile grabbing her bottle. a small smile appears on his face “oh hey tsumu told me youre like really good in your classes and i really need help in history and since we have that group project coming up do you wanna pair up?” she says setting her bottle down grabbing a bag of chips. “yeah i dont mind as long as you actually do something and i can help you study if your grade is that bad” he says. “thatd actually help me out a lot i really appreciate it” she lets a breath out. after that the two spent all lunch just talking, the conversation coming easy for both of them. hearing the bell ring y/n hugs her friends and walks with suna to their class, pairing up in the project the teacher had given them in their period. after class before y/n rushed out she passed him her number with a wink “text me for the deets foxy boy.” ‘foxy boy? suna thought to himself shaking his head texting her with a simple ‘hey its suna’ and heading home.

facts !

during lunch when suna and y/n we're talking the followed each other on twitter

semi was really touched they learned the mcr song

the 4u concert is at a small venue but no one really cares about the other groups going there

osamu and atsumu almost started fighting over the onigiri until suna said something about ushijima being right there

atsumu was watching suna and y/n talking

osamu actually really enjoyed being there during lunch

—taglist

@applekenm , @xhanjisungiex , @astronomyturtle , @sirachano0dles , @yn-tingz , @killmepls-uwu , @bakugouswh0r3

[is-that-another-soulmate-au]

Alright let's try this Soulmate body switch AU I'm also attempting this whole "make a tag" thing... bare with me, ive only actually used this app for like 4 days now im gonna go with "RayMakesSoulmates" for now... uhm, idk what else to go with uhhhhh yeah, names Ray btw...

Okay here we go. The idea of switching bodies is something a bit strange to me so let me make this work for me.

Basically it happens once a year after you either turn 17 or meet your soulmate. If its the latter then there has to be alot of turmoil and confusion on one side to trigger the first switch because it does not happen at the first encounter. However after the first encounter you'll sometimes have little blurry dreams that are in fact core memories of your soulmate. But theyre always too blurry to point out who's involved and sounds are too muffled to pin point any specific noises words or what have you.

Now, the dreams don't happen every night but they happen often enough that you are made aware that you have met your soulmate at some point recently.

So after Zuko visits the south and they begin their cat and mouse game around the world Zuko often has blurry dreams of white with black falling what he thinks is people screaming and what he knows is muffled crying. While Sokka has random dreams of what he thinks is someone moving away into the darkness and someone screaming out to them but he can't figure out what they're saying. Another dream he has is a blurry glow of bright blue and crying. There's also one that shows up more often than the other two, its when he sees what he believes is someone moving towards him saying something, but its muffled, then a bright light and muffled screaming and crying.

However after Ba Sing Se Sokka has a dream that's clear and vivid, not muffled and not blurry. After he takes a moment from shooting up to a sitting position he realizes that this is not a dream, he's switched bodies. Standing up and moving the blankets off of him he looks around and sees the there are fire nation items everywhere, it looks like he's in a royal bedroom. He elects to keep calm as he moves towards where he thinks is a bathroom, he is correct and when he looks into the mirror he freezes. His heart drops into his stomach. Sokka can hardly believe what he's looking at. Staring back at him is not his face, but Zuko's. He reaches up to touch the scar on Zuko's face. While yes he has control over his body and he doesn't exactly know how to act 'firenation' let alone 'fire nation royalty' he stands straight. "This won't last longer than 3 hours." He reminds himself

"What won't last longer than three hours?" Azula's voice breaks through

Instantly on edge and irritated Sokka- ahem Zuko turns to Azula "what do you want Azula?" He says in a voice thats much less irritated, theyre siblings right? So they have to be chummy right

"Oo! You sound so much less angry!" She muses "disgusting, anyways, Mai wanted me to let you know she's leaving today"

Why would he care about that? Oh they must be friends? Maybe they're dating? Okay, don't screw this up "uh, okay"

"Aw don't be so sad Zuzu~ you two would have never worked out anyways, her and Ty Lee switched bodies just three days ago. It was honestly was kind of amusing watching her string you along" This is not how siblings normally talk to eachother. He just glared at Azula "alright alright sheesh, ill leave you alone" he found something to write on and quickly jotted down the conversation because if he was given that information Zuko would need it.

Meanwhile Zuko shot awake and found himself lying next to appa Katara and Aang, so he is alive huh? Confused he figured he must be dreaming until he realized his vision was clear and nothing was muffled. He was below deck on a fire nation ship. He paused a moment before he stood and noticed Sokka's boomerang beside him. He lifed it and saw Sokka in the reflection. His reaction seemed to mirror(haha get it) Sokka's when he saw Zuko in the mirror. But he dropped the boomerang and it made a loud bang which woke the other two up "Sokka what are you doing, the sun is barely up"

He paused and cleared his throat. Okay, sure he's been chasing them he needs to not blow this "uh, sorry, nightmare"

Katara shifted and turned to him, a genuine look of worry in her eyes "do you want to talk about it?" She asked in a tone that reminded him of his mother. Genuine love.

He forced himself not to tear up at the memory and just shook his head "no, I honestly can't remember it. Just scared me is all" the hesitation in Katara's expression before she responded was strange to him

"Alright, if you say so, do you mind going and asking dad to change the course? We need to stop and get supplies"

His hesitation and expression probably made her realize what happened "okay, youre not Sokka right now are you?" He froze and nodded slowly "alright, you dont have to tell me who you are, but I'll help you through the motions, Aang and I switched back in Ba Sing Se, that was the day when you questioned why I said I'd fly around, er- or that was when Sokka questioned me" okay she was a little more accepting of this than he thought.

"Uhm, okay, yeah, right, uhm, I don't want to blow this so can you just uh show me around? I'm sure Sokka knows all the people he's- oh agni he's gonna meet my dad" zuko internally cringed.

In that moment it seemed to click with Katara "alright, so you're telling me your Zuko"

Zuko flinched and backed up against the wall "look I dont know what you want me to do about this, but I promise you that I'm not going to ruin anything, I know I messed up, hell Sokka's probably noticing that my family doesn't work like yours does. I've been so confused my whole life okay, I'm sorry I betrayed you in Ba Sing Se, my sister has a way of manipulating me. I just hope he doesn't get hurt, he probably doesn't know he needs to keep his mouth shut in my family." Zuko was panicking when Katara reached out

"Zuko, zuko what do you mean?" Her voice shaky

"Look I cant tell you everything, I cant tell you my life story not right now, I need to get through with this. If we meet again, which I hope we do, ill tell you then. But right now, please just show me what Sokka goes through day to day. I know he's not gonna like what happens on the other end, I just hope it doesn't go too bad."

Katara nodded "alright well. Let me walk you around and let you learn the peoples names, ill just say hi to them and say their names." She paused "but first, tell me about your mother, i dont know if I believe it anymore"

He sighed before telling her the entire story.

Meanwhile at the palace Sokka was sitting in a war meeting knowing to keep his mouth shut unless spoken to. He didnt want to set people off or let them know he wasn't actually Zuko. The topic of the earth kingdome came up and Ozai turned to him "Zuko, you've spent time among the Earth kingdom citizens. What information do you have?"

"Uh, the Earth kingdoms citizens are strong willed and hopeful, as long as they have hope they will not yeild"

"Hmmm, I see, we need to crush their hope"

"Well, thats not what I-"

"I think we should take their precious hope and burn it to the ground!" Azula cuts in

"Yes, yes good idea Azula" Oh no

About an hour after the meeting the switch flipped, Sokka made notes about everything that he found important in time before the switch was over.

After they switched back Sokka found his sister and grabbed her shoulders "Katara, I have to tell you something, I just got back from a body swit-"

"And your soulmate is Zuko? I know, he cried when I was nice to him, what happened on your end?"

"Well, his whole family is mean to him"

"Figured"

"I was in a war meeting and found out their plan for the comet"

After relaying the information he found they discussed it with Aang.

Let's skip ahead to after the failed invasion and to the air temple when Zuko shows up.

"Hello, Zuko here"

No fighting it in this one

"Get your jerk bender butt over here" Katara and Sokka said practically in unison.

>im gonna wrap it up here. And yes Katara would notice its not Sokka and would totally pick up on Zuko, she's observant

>and no Azula wouldn't notice at all because she's used to Zuko being stand offish with her. Plus Sokka is so much better at impersonations than Zuko

@chaoticidiott @roman-does-nothing @bisexuallsokka @transzukostanblog

I dont know if I did this AU justice, I tried.

[too-gay-for-marvel]

i dont need a hero

a/n: did i make a bad guy who just wants to be a bad guy? you got it babey. ive got no more excuses for my behaviour. the only excuse i have is that i will never learn, and that is the greatest talent i possess. my second greatest talent is that i refuse to proof-read any and all things. youre welcome

Request:  classic enemies to lovers trope with Wanda maximoff? love your writing btw

Word Count: 1668

Warnings: swearing

Pairing: Wanda x Reader

Wanda was no stranger to having enemies.

Tony Stark had been her enemy in the past. She had wanted to get rid of the Avengers at one point. Ultron, Crossbones, Secretary Ross, the list was endless. It no longer upset her to know that she had enemies in life because she knew it was part of the occupation. If she had wanted to make nice with everyone, she wouldn’t have volunteered to help Strucker.

But that also meant she knew those enemies could turn into more. And as you slept on your stomach and her fingers traced shapes over your naked back, it was just a flood of memories.

“Is that the best you’ve got, little witch?” You taunted right after deflecting another one of Wanda’s blasts. It was infuriating.

But her eyes swept over the collapsed buildings you had left behind. It reminded her of all the people you had hurt, all the destruction you had caused over the last few months. She looked back at you and started throwing everything she had with renewed anger. And it proved to be successful when she finally hit you in the chest, sending you flying into a pile of rubble.

Wanda made her way to where you were laying in the rubble, cuts and freshly formed bruises littering your skin. There was a laceration through your left brow, but the smile on your face was, once again, infuriating. When would you realise you had lost?

But you just locked eyes with her and chuckled.

“That’s much better.”

You shifted underneath her fingers, causing your muscles to stretch before relaxing once again. When your shoulder blades moved just right she could see the scars littering your skin. If the light from the moon shone through the curtains, she could see the lines on your back and arms.

Almost immediately her fingers started to trace over the slightly raised scars. She noted the way they criss crossed over the relaxed muscles in your back. The stories they told, not with words but with her own imagination.

Some of them she recognised from your tales of conquest against the X-Men, against the Avengers, against the X-Force. Those were ones you bragged about to the disappointment of Fury and Maria. Others you hadn’t outwardly talked of, but instead cried about them in your sleep. Those were the ones she spent the most time on, trying to send all of her love and support through those gentle touches.

And a few she remembered from firsthand accounts.

“Just move!”

Wanda was too transfixed by the missile heading her way to notice someone running toward her. She didn’t even know someone was nearby, which made it all the more shocking when arms wrapped around her waist. Her body tensed as her feet were lifted off the ground and she was suddenly launched off the side of the building right as the missile hit the spot where she had been standing.

Wind rushed past her ears along with something that sounded like a scream. She couldn’t tell who was screaming. The trip to the ground took only a second or two but it felt like it was never going to end. Well, it did until she forcefully met the ground. The air was knocked out of her and the person on top of her didn’t help.

“Get off me,” she grunted as she pushed the person off and sat up. Only when she was up did she notice it was you, new scratches on your face and blood dripping down your ears.

“You stupid Avengers, always in the way,” you mumbled just loud enough for Wanda to hear.

“What the hell were you thinking?” Wanda shouted, pushing herself onto her feet and watching as you did the same.

“What do you mean, what was I thinking?” You shot back. “You were the one who didn’t move!”

“I didn’t need your help.”

“You almost got hit! By a missile!”

“And yet you were the one who almost killed me!” Wanda stepped forward, her finger jabbing into your chest as she talked.

“I saved your life!” You shouted back, throwing your hands up in indignation.

“You pushed me off a building!”

“Don’t criticise me! No one else was helping!”

“I didn’t need help from some wannabe hero!”

“I’m not trying to-” you were cut off by the sound of a gun and your eyes widening. You both looked down to see a dark red spot near your hip grow larger.

You hit the ground before she could catch you.

Her index finger found the long-since-healed entrance wound on your back and she brushed over it as gently as possible. You shivered underneath her but quickly stilled. She smiled to herself at the way you had relaxed underneath her touch, but it reminded her of all the times she hadn’t managed to bring you back down to earth.

Wanda had walked in on you training. At least, she thought you were training. It looked more like you were just shooting Tony’s bots for fun, but there was no smile on your face. No, instead your brows were furrowed and the corners of your lips were turned down.

“Tony didn’t want to rebuild those so soon,” she said just loud enough for you to hear. Even though you didn’t flinch or turn, she knew you had heard by the way your frown turned more angry.

“He can kiss my ass,” you mumbled before shooting one last bot. Then you simply tossed the empty gun aside, not caring that it shattered once it hit the floor.

“Something wrong?” Wanda asked with as much sincerity as she could muster. She would never say she was your biggest fan, but she had come to tolerate you over the past few months. And to see you so… distraught. It left a weight in her chest that she didn’t know how to deal with.

She was close enough to see your jaw tighten for a moment before you turned and walked to sit against the wall, sliding down to the floor. You wrapped your arms around your knees and pulled them tight to your chest. Then your chin rested on your knees, and Wanda knew that was a look of defeat.

A look she knew all too well.

Before she gave herself time to change her mind, she walked forward and sat down next to you, crossing her legs instead. It was a more open position, she thought, and maybe it would help you feel a little more comfortable. Because if you didn’t get more comfortable soon, she felt like her chest was going to collapse.

“I never wanted to be a hero,” you said after an unbearable amount of silence. You weren’t looking at Wanda, instead keeping your eyes on the opposite wall.

She wanted to ask what you meant, but knew that it might interrupt whatever train of thought you were starting down. It never occurred to her that she could just read your mind to know what you meant. That thought never reared its ugly head. No, she had decided to just wait for you to talk it out.

“I don’t care about keeping people safe,” you started again. “I don’t care if people get hurt and it’s my fault. I’d prefer they don’t get hurt; I’m not a monster. But I don’t care to be a law-abiding citizen like the rest of you.

“But I don’t want to be a hero.”

A single beat of silence.

“And that scares me.”

“Why does it scare you?” Wanda asked, daring to break her silence in an attempt to keep you talking. She didn’t think she could fix whatever you were feeling, but maybe talking it out would help. That’s what her therapist always told her, at least.

“Because you can’t love a villain.”

“I’m sure someone can-”

“-No,” you interrupted, finally turning to look at her. “You can’t love a villain.”

She didn’t know what to say. What could she say? Had she thought of you as possibly something more? Sure, there were moments. But were you right? Could she really love a villain? Someone who got people hurt and didn’t really care, or who got themself hurt? Could she love someone like that?

“You need a hero,” you said softly, with a smile that just damn near broke Wanda’s heart.

And before she could come up with a reply, you stood up and walked away.

That was months ago. And now here you were, naked in her bed. You had slept here more than a few times recently, your newest epiphany keeping you awake through the long hours of the night. But this was the first night it had gotten serious, the first night she had admitted things that she would have otherwise kept secret.

It all happened so fast; You had come back from a mission a little dirtied up but otherwise okay. She had offered to let you use her shower to clean up. You had stripped down in the middle of her room. And the next thing she knew, she was pressed up against the wall of the shower with your hands on her hips and your lips on her neck.

“Tell me to stop,” you mumbled before leaving another kiss. “Tell me you need a hero.” Your knee slipped between her legs and she threw her head back until it rested against the wall.

“The last thing I need is a hero,” she said with a gasp as your knee pressed a little harder.

You pulled your head back just enough to look at her. There was something in your eyes, something other than lust, but she was too distracted to try and figure out what it was. Instead she grabbed your face with both hands and pulled you into a fast, sloppy kiss.

And at the memory, Wanda smiled as she felt that phantom kiss on her lips.

That kiss filled with love.

[strawbunniiee]

A Girl and a Ghost Ch. 3: The King’s Revenge

SOOOOO this is the part where the plot thickens :)

if anybody else wants me to tag them in these chapters so you know when they come out i will gladly do so andksnkfs

hope you enjoy! ive had tons of fun with writing these :D

dont mind me, just lettin my frendos know that this is a thing skfnkdjf

@salamifuposey @monsterbride99 aaAAA when i initially posted this i COMPLETELY forgot to do this a a a a a sorry

King Boo was furious.

How could that peasant, that foul impure abomination of a Boo do this to his beloved crown? It contained his power, it was so incredibly important to him...

And that filthy little purple haired brat! How could she so carelessly throw a rock at him like that?

He plopped his body down in a chair and marinated in his own rage for a few minutes.

After a few moments of enraged silence, he spoke.

"...I have got to get my revenge on those two. But... how will I do it?"

King Boo began to brainstorm a way to get the ghost Rabbid and his little idiot friend in hot water.

"Torture? No, no... one of them is a ghost. It wouldn't hurt him... Torture could be done with the little nuisance however. Perhaps a bit of childhood trauma will teach her not to mess with the wrong people." he thought aloud.

He spent almost fifteen whole minutes thinking of gruesome ways to get back at them, until it finally struck him.

"...Oooh, I know. I know exactly what to do now. It'll mostly affect that bloated rabbit, but I can still do some damage to his moronic pipsqueak pal."

He grinned maliciously and floated towards the doors of his manor.

"I'm about to open up some old wounds of yours, Tommy." he said to himself.

———

Meanwhile, Phantom was racing through the sky with Jawaii in his arms, panicking. He would never let King Boo lay his foul hands on her.

They were both absolutely dead silent the whole time until Jawaii opened her mouth.

"...Do you know that guy?"

Phantom halted for a moment and looked down at the young alien he held. "...Yes, I do, but I don't think I would like to go into detail at the moment. We have a very... rough history, I will say."

"Oh... I get it. It's okay, I won't pry. I understand." Jawaii said.

"Just remember that if King Boo ever tries to hurt us, I'll make sure he will regret it for the rest of his days." promised the Rabbid ghost. "I swear on it."

Phantom resumed his flight and soared down to the ground safely. He gently set her down in the grass.

"That was actually really fun! We should do that again sometime! ...without being scared off by an evil ghost, obviously. That would just make it less fun." said Jawaii.

"I'm glad you were entertained, I suppose... King Boo is quite intimidating. And rude." said Phantom.

Jawaii put her hands on her hips. "Well, yeah! I mean, he made fun of your weight! No friend of mine is getting made fun of like that!"

Phantom laughed a bit. "Oh, don't worry, I wasn't that harmed by that statement. I er, get that all the time."

She frowned. "Why do people tease you about that, that's dumb! Besides, I think you're perfect just the way you are!" She gave him a hug.

He hugged back and smiled. "Awww... thank you. I was born like this, I can't help it you see."

"You're a giant fluffy singing ghost bunny with a mustache, I have no idea how anybody could hate THAT! Cuz I don't."

"Oh, don't make me blush from all of these compliments!" said Phantom, smiling.

Jawaii jokingly grinned evilly. "Never. I'm gonna shower you in compliments 'til you DROWN!"

She cackled maniacally as she began relentlessly saying nice things about him with Phantom begging her to stop. Soon, it became a full-on flattery war to see who could out-compliment the other. They had a grand old time.

Eventually, the sun began to set.

"Oh yikes, I better get home. I had no idea we stayed out here for so long! Mom is probably having a heart attack as we speak!" said Jawaii.

Phantom was quite alarmed, his ears sprung up in worry and concern. "She's having a what?! Oh, poor child, I hope your mother is all right..."

She burst out laughing hysterically.

"Wh-what's so funny? I thought your mother was dying!"

"No, dummy! That was an exaggeration, I meant that she's probably WORRIED about me!" Jawaii continued giggling like a maniac.

"Ah. I see now... Thank you for correcting me!" Phantom joined in on the laughter.

They got themselves together after a moment.

"Oh yeah, mind if you could fly me over to my house..? We're kinda far away from home." said Jawaii.

"Of course!" Phantom replied happily.

Jawaii climbed on his back and the two flew home.

———

After flying back to town, Phantom gently set Jawaii down in front of her home.

"See you soon, my friend. I enjoyed showing you around Spooky Trails today!" said Phantom.

"Cya tomorrow Phantom! I had a good day today too!" She ran up to him and gave him one last hug.

She walked up to her door and waved goodbye to Phantom. He waved back.

"Moooom! I'm hoooome!"

Jawaii's stepmother Stella ran in.

"Oh, Jawaii! Thank goodness you're all right! I was so worried, where were you?"

"Sorry I came home late! But I spent today with a friend of mine."

Stella had a look of pleasant surprise on her face. "You made a friend? That's so wonderful! I know you haven't really ever had any friends, honey, I'm so happy to hear that you finally made one!" She smiled.

Jawaii grinned. "Yeah! I'll tell you allllll about him! He's the best."

They sat down at the dinner table with the food Stella made.

Jawaii dug into her mashed potatoes and ate it like a wild animal that had nothing to eat for the past 3 weeks.

"Honey, chew slowly. I don't want you choking!" said Stella.

"Sorry, Mom..." Jawaii said, frowning.

"It's okay. I don't want you in the hospital or anything, especially after you just made a new friend!"

"Oh, I've known him for a while, actually. We've been hanging out together a lot!" she smiled, her mouth still full of food.

"...Jawaii, sweetie, don't talk with food in your mouth.“

"Oh yeah! Sorry again Mom.."

"Anyways, that's why you've been out so much lately? I'm so happy for you, Jawaii!" Stella smiled.

Jawaii gulped down some water. "Yep! I'm glad I'm his friend too!"

They spent dinner talking about all of the fun adventures she and Phantom had gone on.

Jawaii however, conveniently left out any mention of them being in danger, she wouldn't want to worry her stepmother of course!

"Oh yeah! I meant to ask you this, but I got totally sidetracked but where's Dad? And where's Hakai?" asked Jawaii.

"Your father is out destroying planets again, and your sister is having a sleepover with some friends of hers." said Stella.

"Ohhhh. Wonder why Dad's out so late. Hope he's alright."

"I'm sure he's fine, hon."

Jawaii had another sister though, and her name was Roe. She went to a boarding school and wasn't home most of the time.

She stretched and yawned. "Hey Mom, I think I'm gonna hit the hay today."

Stella gave her a small look of surprise. "Oh! You are? Usually you're quite a night owl. Maybe you're just tired from all your little adventures with Phantom."

Jawaii smiled. "Yeah. Maybe. Anyways, g'night Mom! Love ya, don't let the bed bugs bite."

Stella gave Jawaii a hug. "Aww, good night sweetie. Love you too.”

Jawaii ran upstairs, changed into her nightgown, brushed her teeth and jumped into bed, quickly falling asleep after her long, tiring but fun day.

———

That same night, the Mushroom Kingdom was as quiet as ever when it was nighttime. The once colorful, cheerful inviting land was deathly silent, almost hauntingly so.

Princess Peach was safely tucked in her bed, sleeping peacefully.

But little did the sleeping princess know, this would not remain for long.

King Boo had finally made it to the castle after venturing there to exact his revenge. He knew how dearly Phantom loved Peach. Breaking them apart forever would be the ultimate punishment for stepping on his turf. He knew that either way, the plan would work. If Phantom didn't come to the manor, him and Peach would be separated forever. If he did, however, it would give the vengeful king the chance to trap him and Jawaii in his manor, to torture them and possibly even kill them somehow.

He knew he could kill Jawaii, that was no problem, but Phantom...? Could he possibly do it again? ...No, he's a ghost now. He can't be killed again. But the king knew that even if he couldn't die, he could still make him suffer for as long as he wanted. Possibly even for eternity.

He phased through the castle walls, not having any of the guards notice him. Then, he finally found her room. There Peach slept, defenseless, ready for the taking.

In the blink of an eye, he snatched her from her bed.

Peach immediately woke up and let out a shrill scream of horror, alerting the Toads guarding her door.

But it was too late. He had already burst out her window with her and was headed straight towards his mansion.

———

Tap, tap, tap.

Jawaii woke up very late that night to a tapping sound she heard at her window. She went over to it to find one of the Peek-A-Boos she had met in Spooky Trails, tapping away at her window.

"Hey... aren't you that kid who Phantom is friends with?"

Jawaii rubbed her eye and yawned. "Yeah. Why do you ask? And how are you at my house anyway?"

The Peek-A-Boo had a somber expression on his face. "Well... I have to tell you some... bad news."

Jawaii was horrified of what was about to come out of his mouth next. Did something terrible happen to Phantom?

"His love, Princess Peach was kidnapped by King Boo. And... Phantom is gone. He went off to go save her. Knowing King Boo, Phantom may not come back in one piece. ...The other Rabbids told me it was best to go tell you. That way, you would know where he is. You deserve to know..."

Jawaii was devastated. How could this happen?

She knew she had to save him. And if she couldn't save him... then she wouldn't let him suffer alone.

"...No. I'm not going to let this happen to him."

The Peek-A-Boo was taken aback in surprise by Jawaii's response. "...I dunno if you should go. You're only a kid. You could get seriously hu-"

"I don't care." said Jawaii.

She jumped into her closet and changed into her usual clothes, grabbed a lantern and ran out of the house and into the black, haunted forest that she met Phantom in.

[smol-grey-tea]

I was gonna write the romo attraction thing today but honestly i dont feel like doing it bc im just rlly upset about smth that im sure a lot of ppl can relate to

So my irl friend groups are very... well they dont know much about these kinds of things, i had to be a walking encyclopaedia for them about my identities like nb stuff bc they didn't bother to just... look it up.

When i told them i was trans they would say "omg are you actually trans?? I have a trans best friend!!" Yikes

Instead they would ask me to explain it. Which is fine, i kinda hate having to explain for the 5th time that no, using the correct terms and pronouns is not a fucking burden, and that yes, dysphoria is awful and wont just magically go away.

and when i tell them to yk, not use pronouns for me and just use my name instead, not 1 person did that. They just... misgendered me and used she/her when i explicitly told them that it makes me dysphoric. I then told them to use coo/coos/cooself instead bc i quite like it, but they still didnt use it.

Then i gave up and told them to use they/them since it doesnt make me dysphoric even tho i lowkey hate it. They still misgender me but said "they'll try to get used to it". Its not that hard guys what the actual fuck???

Anyway, i was actually going to talk about aspec stuff. So i only told one of them that i was demiromantic demisexual, and they said "wtf is that" which yk is not a nice way to react to someone coming out, but i have thick skin so i just explained it bc again they couldnt bother to search it, and they said "ok ig" and changed the subject when i wanted to explain my attraction???? I've never had anyone that i could talk to about my complicated feelings with being aspec and just when i thought i could i was shut down.

I thought it was over and done with, until they started to... ignore my fucking identity??? Which i would say is way more important and personal to me than my bisexuality??? They never did any of that bs with my bisexuality probably bc they were pansexual themself, but jfc is it that hard to not make jokes about me being horny or having a crush or joking about setting me up on blind dates??? It legit made me so uncomfortable and i have no idea what to say.

Bc remember, they didnt exactly respect my pronouns and kept using gendered terms to refer to me even more after i came out??? I swear it feels like its on purpose every time they called me a girl but whatever

Istg they forgot that im demi bc they keep making these jokes and ignoring that i dont feel sexual or romantic attraction like that and keep acting as if i want to date ppl or fuck them when i say they look pretty??? I spent way too fucking long mistaking my aesthetic attraction for sexual for ppl to once again reinforce this idea and im done with it. Please for the love of god stop it.

I said i liked wilbur and thought he was rlly cute and they then proceeded to, you guessed it, act like im in love with him or that i want to fuck him. First of all, hes a real person on the internet that i do not know, 2nd of all, fucking eww, and 3rd of all, hes a whole ass adult and we r both in high school. Yikes again.

Ofc i didnt tell them these things and just said that i dont like him that way and just thought he was pretty and nothing else. They completely ignored this and thought i was just embarrassed or smth or that i was in denial. Yikes again again.

So yeah. The only lesson i learned is to never come out as aspec to anyone irl ever again. Tbh i kinda want to tell them that im not bi and that i dont feel any kind of attraction. It would be a lie but christ i wish they would stop. They can validate my bisexuality but not my nb or aspec identities? I knew that queer sexualities were more normalized now which is awesome but why cant they do that for trans ppl or aspecs? Why does it have to stop there?

Sorry for venting like this but i thought this might be relatable for yall. Ive never had the experience of feeling "broken" bc of any of my identities, im very confident in them. I just wish other ppl other than my online friends would feel the same.

Also sorry for delaying the romo attraction thingy i just rlly dont feel like it rn. Idk when i will write it but hopefully if i feel better i will finish it today

There's no pressure to write it up dude it's cool :) whenever you're ready ❤

And those ppl do not sound like good friends- idk exactly how old you are but ik I'm older, and I can tell you for certain that you will find better friends one day. It's guaranteed :) they don't deserve your friendship and I am glad to validate and help you in any way you need ❤❤

Yee I've never felt broken either! I think an element of that is that I thought I was allo for a very long time? But on the other hand I was bullied in my childhood for not having attraction so idk why that hasn't manifested into a phobia of romance but eh I'm better off this way whether it makes sense or not.

It makes me happy as well cuz a lot of ppl in the community seem very pessimistic abt how we're treated but it's nice to know that not all of us feel broken cuz the 2 of us are living examples of that :)

But unfortunately yeah, your experiences above are things many ppl can relate to. I'm sure almost everyone can remember a time where they came out to someone and weren't met with good responses,,

Let this be a reminder that this is not right and we deserve more support for something so personal. Even if you don't understand someone's identity that doesn't give you the right to dismiss or ignore them. Our identities are very important and personal to us and supporting them is basic respect.

[draco-and-tom]

Draco- I thought I was so Deserving

Summary- You and Draco were dating, till he died in the battle of hogwarts. It takes you weeks to go and look through his old stuff, and when you do you find several old letters addressed to you, but never owled. You decide to open it and find something that makes you cry.

☆WARNINGS: veryyyyyyy sad, death., depression, lots of crying, (i cried while writing this so you better like it lol)

It had been weeks since you even looked at the manor, which was basically left to you after draco died, due to the fact that his family fled for no apparent reason. You’ve tried to come back…. Really. It’s just the fact that every time you do try you start to cry. Just looking at the house floods your mind with memories of what it was like to be wrapped in his arms. You miss the feeling of his affection. Draco was never big on showing how much he actually loved you in public, sure he would wrap his arm around you if another boy was staring, or give them a death stare when they would check you out, but NEVER did he once whisper in your ear how much he loved you, the way you laughed, the way you cried, the way you would look at him and he knew you loved him just as much as he did you in public. The way he felt about you was personal, not everyone needed to know just how crazy he was about you. He used to tell you how he used to think so highly of himself till he met you. He would say “I always thought I was so deserving till I met someone who took my breath away and made everything okay for everyone.” Everytime you two were alone together he poured his heart into his words and you knew it was true. Draco’s eyes have always shown his true emotion. Happiness, sadness, love……. They showed you everyone. Everytime he would tell you those things you couldn’t form words, and when you could it was always just an “I love you”. Your feelings for him were so much more than an I love you. That’s the thing you regret the most, not telling him how on more than one occasion you cried at how you loved him so much it almost hurt, at the thought of losing him, how it broke your heart just to see him sad. You longed to tell him that you fucked up in every way possible by not telling him everything you loved about him -inside and out- because you knew how often he doubted himself, by not showering him with kisses every time you saw him, by not kissing him that day like it was the last one you’d ever get, because it was. But most of all you fucked up by trying to help the others and leaving him there to fight for himself.You didn’ t get a chance to comfort him or kiss him, or even tell him how much you cared. You didn’t know trying to help one person would risk two people's lives. Because with every day that passes you realize that Draco was your life. He was your happiness, your grief, your confusion. He was what made you who you are, who you were. 

You sob in your car as your mind is flooded with memories of the time you spent together. It hurts to see them, but it hurts worse to ignore them...if only he could be with you, give you one last chance.

You open your car door after you managed to keep yourself from crying. You made your way up the steps of the house and turned the doorknob with a shaky hand. Once you open your lip quivers. You looked at the stairs that led up to his room, making your eyes water. When you both were alone together at the house he seemed so much more care free. He would chase you all the way down the stairs, it was one of your favorite recurring things he did. You were positive there were other rooms up there but they weren't important to you, especially not right now. You blink back your tears as well as you can. You got to the first floor and felt something underneath your shoe. You lift your foot and a pained sound comes from your mouth as you see his ring… just sitting there. Your knees buckled and you sobbed into your hands. After a few minutes you got up, putting his ring on your middle finger since his hands were bigger than yours, and there was no way in hell you were ever losing that ring. Your face was tear stained and flushed. You were positive you looked like a wreck, you know that if Draco saw you he would wonder what the hell happened. He always said you were the most beautiful and happy person he’d ever met. But again, he was your happiness and now that's gone. God you were crazy for him, and how you feel is the proof. You snap out of your thoughts as you walk down the hall to his bedroom. A chill runs down your spine as you place your hand on the door knob. It was always slightly cold in the manor, but you knew it wasn’t that. You were scared to go in. You felt almost as if you touching anything or even stepping a foot in there was going to mess something up, change how he left it. You block your thoughts out as you open the door anyways, the metal on your finger tapping against the cold door knob. You look in and notice everything is still how he liked it, clean and kept. The only difference was that there was a black box sitting on his bed and an envelope laying beside it. Draco’s room had dark brown wooden floors and emerald green walls. On his walls were Quidditch pictures, a light in the shape of a snake, and….pictures of him and you together. You and Draco had been friends since you were 10, so the pictures went farther back than your relationship. There was a picture of him carrying you bridle style, his face buried in your neck as his laughed, making you smile. You watched that picture replay over and over again, just to see him in motion. You sadly smile as you watch him laugh and put his face into the crook of your neck, you kissing his head after he does so softly. A slow tear drips down your cheek as the flash of the camera that took the photo goes off, before you wipe it away quickly. You pick up the photo and place a small kiss onto it, letting a couple more tears escape from your eyes. You grabbed the picture and took it with you over to the bed, and sat down. You wiped your face with the sleeve of your quidditch sweater, hating the stickiness that the now drying tears had made. You looked at the envelope laying on the bed. The ivory color envelope, as well as the box lay against the green, silky sheets that Draco had left on his bed. He told you the reason he liked silk sheets so much was that when he was little he would get really hot in the summer and laying in them would give his body a relieving chill, the sheets were just associated with good memories and comfort especially after the two of you became each other's friends.

 You and Draco had sleepovers, both of you laying under those sheets. You remembered that the first sleepover happened when you were both at the manor during yalls first week at hogwarts. After eating dinner with him, and taking showers you both laid down in his silk sheets that always felt so cool and relaxing. You didn’t notice anything was wrong until you look over at the 11 year old and see him lying stiffly under the blanket and staring at the ceiling. You furrowed your eyebrows and say “something wrong malfoy?” He shakes his head and after a moment of thought says “it's just….w-is it not weird to you that you're going to sleep in here with me?” you tilt your head and ask “Is it weird to you Malfoy?” when he shakes his head “Then why would it be weird to me?”. Draco bites his lip and shrugs “dunno… just didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable around me..”. As soon as he said that you scooted closer to him and wrapped your arms around his body, as if that wasn’t enough to freak him out you slung your leg over his waist as well. You snuggled into Draco’s tense body. “Do I look uncomfy Malfoy?” you asked after you rested your face in the crook of his neck. You could feel the first year release tension in his body and smiled as he wrapped his arm around you, pulling you as close to him as possible. Draco felt your smile on his neck and laughed. “Like this do you?” you hummed and said “Honestly dont think ive had anything more enjoyable Malfoy”. You nuzzled closer to his embrace before you heard him say “hey sunshine”as he peppers kisses on you, making your cheeks flush even more, he had never called you that before “could you call me Draco instead? You’ve made me realize that there is a 1% worthy enough to have my name come from their mouth” you chuckled and nodded “I better be worthy Draco”. 

Once you notice the same words repeating in your ear you stop staring at the envelope and decide to read who it's for. 

                                                                           Sunshine ♡ 

You take a deep breath and open the envelope, careful not to cause any damage to something so dear to you. Once you open it the smell of parchment immediately floods your nose. You pull out the paper and unfold it. The parchment was clearly high quality, it seems as though he put a lot of thought into the letter. You do your best to smooth the creases of the paper as you tiredly lay back on the bed and begin to read:

Dear Y/N, You have no idea how many times i've tried to write a letter about all of this, There is a whole box full somewhere, just look. I know I don't seem like the type (and I know you already know this but) God sunshine, you have no idea how much you mean to me. It's just the fact that sometimes i get shy… but I feel like I don't tell you stuff like this often enough. I love your smile… it likes up any room. I know that you don't think I am, but I am extremely jealous of anyone who so much resembles the way I look at you, that loving look. I know I shouldn't be. I mean bloody hell Y/N I'm the one who gets to wrap you in my arms and pepper you with kisses. I just can't help the thought of you ever leaving me, especially if it’s to be with one of those prats. I love you so much Y/N. More than you could ever know. Although all of this rubbish with The Dark Lord is happening you’ve managed to make it actually bearable. God I was so relieved when you believed me when I told you that I didn’t want to. I'm so glad you let me cry into your shoulder that night, I don't do it often but I did need it. You don't know that i could tell, but I knew that you were crying with me… you shake when you cry, I could feel your lip quivering against my cheek as you kissed me and assured me that it was all going to be okay, I believe you Sunshine, I promise i do, You will always be what keeps me going. You're the only person that's even thought about looking through all my smirks and teasing… you're the only one that was able to tell I was broken and the only one to care. You're the one thing about my shit show of a life, but I have one question. How do you love me as much as you do? I believe you do, you can't lie when you look at me like that. Your whole expression softens when you say those three words and look into my eyes. How do you love me when you could have someone that isnt this much of a fucking wreak? I wish you knew how much i care, 

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Tell me if you want me to make this a series or a prequel.

[imaginethathaikyuu]

How did I find your blog? I was looking for soft Kuroo content on google. And your soft birthday hc’s for him came up. And that’s also how I found tumblr

What was the first story of yours that I read? That Kuroo piece ^

Roughly, how long have I been following this blog? Well I found that piece shortly after it was posted so…. Around the beginning of December 2019 I think. Got a tumblr a few months later and you were the first person I followed (had you in my bookmarks bar before that! (still have you in my bookmarks bar and when I share my screen in classes there are occasionally questions. I ignore them))

What’s something I’ve noticed about you personality wise? You’re really clever and funny. But you’re also sweet. But because you’re clever you have no hesitation in setting up and enforcing your boundaries, and I really admire that strength and confidence.

Have we ever interacted, either by PM, ask, or in the comments? What was my perception of you? YES!!! PM, SOOOOO many asks, comments, and you sent me an ask. And reblogged it. And I cried. A lot. My perception: you’re lovely and I want to h*ld your h*nd ….please.

What’s my favorite story of yours? Oh how to choose. Firstly, I’m a nb, biracial, bisexual. Honey, I’ve never made a choice in my life. But let’s try here. Anything you’ve written for Tsukki. Literally all of it is gold. Fight me. I was going to write “especially [piece title]” but I LITERALLY CANNOT CHOOSE ONE. Your Bokuto nightmare piece. Your Kuroo angsty fight. Your Tendou dealing with S/O with parents who yell piece. Your Kinktobers. Your Futakuchi and Mattsun pieces. And your Terushima pieces. Ugh. I CANNOT CHOOSE. OH AND YOUR STREAMER KENMA!!!!!! OKay just… all of it. I can’t choose. I tried, and I failed, and I’m willing to admit failure.

What’s a story I’d love to see you write? I don’t want to say this… because it hurts me… but I just KNOW you’d write brilliant angst. Some of my fav pieces of yours are pained beginnings with happy endings. That fight with Tsukki after a bad day at work. The pieces I mentioned above (nightmare pieces and fighting pieces and angsty home life ha.. ha.ha.ha.). That Oikawa one where the reader wakes up in bed without him and thinks he left. You write these gorgeous atmospheres and descriptive, visceral feelings, and if you chose to use it for evil…. You could get evil shit done. You’re SO powerful. So I want to read it… but also…. I don’t. I’d love to see you write ABO like you mentioned a while back or just see you explore a cutesy soulmate AU or something. I think you’d be really good at writing an AU where you hear what the other person’s listening too. I feel like you’d be so good at making me feel something for someone who was in another city. (think this would be cute with Tsukki cos he’s headphones boy, OR terushima because I like the dynamic of someone flirty, who clearly cares about looks, falling for someone he can’t see) ANYWAY….

Favorite pairing you write for?/fav reader insert? Tsukishima x reader. It’s my fav self-ship. (but also Mattsun, Bokuto, Oikawa, Tanaka, and Akaashi because you write them SO WELL!!!!)

Have any of your stories helped me through a hard time? Of course. Your self-harm piece came at a time I needed it. Iwaizumi’s in particular saved my life. But also your Tendou dealing with S/O parents who fight… came right when I needed it. Also starting college… was hard.. And reading and rereading your fluff really pulled me through it.

Have any of your stories hit closer to home? YES (see above).

Do I genuinely like your blog, it’s aesthetic or posts? It’s overall feel? It’s content? Yes. The aesthetic is, ngl, a wee bit basic. But I kinda love that. And the feel? It feels like home. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Your blog is my safe space. So, yes, I love. It’s content? YES. OF COURSE. Your personality probably could have kept me here even if your content was kinda shit, but I follow you RELIGIOUSLY because of your content. So yes. I adore.

Is English my first language? Kinda??? I grew up in a trilingual household so I kinda learned three languages at the same time while growing up. But no, I don’t need to translate it in my head. Because English was one of the three.

Anything I want to share? Yes. Please keep being kind to yourself, caring for your mental health, enforcing your boundaries, loving Akaashi, and just generally being you. You’re so lovely as you are, and I hope you continue grow, but never change. Also I’m sorry about all your work stuff…. It literally makes me feel sick. And I hope you find a job where that’s not tolerated, or that your work finds a better way of protecting it’s employees. I know you know this, but none of it is your fault. I just hope things improve. AND I love you… a lot. And I’m so proud of you hitting 9K and you deserve so many more followers because your pieces are just... GORGEOUS. I can’t wait until I’m at Barnes and Noble in a few years and I can pick up a hardback copy of your debut novel. I’m so excited to say “I knew Em Akaashi (which is your legal name as far as I’m concerned) before she was so popular among the masses.”

so ive been trying to figure out the correct and worthy way to reply to this ask since the moment i got it......because its so fucking sweet and kind and amazing and pure and perfect and i just dont know how to use WORDS to explain the way it makes me feel so.......i will just reply in bullet points in regards to every question u answered to make it a lil easier :D

- the fact that u found my blog on google ....... like this may be odd and a very specific thing but before i made this blog i always hoped that 1 day my fanfic would pop up in google searches bc thats ALWAYS how i found fics when i was reading them religiously and i felt so much ENVY!!!!! LIKE I WANTED TO BE THERE I WANTED MY FICS TO B POPULAR ENOUGH TO POP UP ON GOOGLE.....that may sound very selfish but its true......so thats just very cool to me... :]

- u’ve been here for so long omg 🥺🥺🥺🥺 if anyone in ur classes ever asks jus promo my blog like its nbd 

- thats so sweet what 🥺🥺🥺 i try my best to advocate for myself and be confident for myself.....ive spent far too much of my time being silently uncomfortable because i was afraid of pushing someone’s buttons seeming rude.....but NO MORE!!!! i know what upsets me, i know my triggers, i know what i dislike experiencing, and im never gonna let myself be anxious or uncomfortable for someone else’s sake, esp if theyre being rude 2 me. i would say its less strength and confidence and moreso me attempting to take control of my anxiety in the places i can (aka on the Internet) bc i am SICK OF ANXIETY ATTACKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

- BBY no dont CRY!!!! im racking my brain trying to think of who u are i wanna know so bad so i can thank u personally for being the kindest person in the world n so i can send u more asks >:(........MY HAND IS URS TO HOLD!!!!! dont tell akaashi tho 

- OMG my TSUKKI pieces.....hes so hard to write why ;-; thank u so much im so glad u enjoy my works<3333

- NOT ANGST NOT LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!! pained beginnings to happy endings are my specialty.....IMAGINE me writing a sad ending like i CANT!!!!!!!!! ive only done it a few times and it is so Difficult.....YALL ARE SO LUCKY IM NOT EVIL!!!!!! ive had this idea for an angsty akaashi fic that i think about and write in my head every night before falling asleep and it Hurts and i wanna write it but i also can’t make myself :D ABO would be very fun but i genuinely do not know how to explore the concept while making it feel like it’s Written By Me.....u know what i mean? same with soulmate aus, i really dislike writing them because theyre just boring to me like they all feel the same everything’s been done for them.....which is FINE!!! but i write enough cliche stuff as it is HAHA, a long distance type soulmate au could be fun and interesting but ldr’s trigger me bc of a past relationship so </3 but hey maybe someone else could use the idea!!!!!

- gotta love tsukishima <3

- im rlly glad my writing could be there for you friend, one of the biggest reasons i write fanfic (and write the kind of fics i write) is bc i know firsthand how much reading sweet stories abt ur comfort characters can help u through the shittiest times - i just wanna offer ppl some support and happy feelings and love cuz sometimes fanfic is the only time we can find those things (and theres nothing shameful abt that either if anyone bullies u for reading fanfic i will fight them)

- I KNOW MY LAYOUT IS LAZY AND BASIC AS FUCK AND THAT IS BECAUSE I DO NOT GIVE A SHIT LMAOOOO so im glad u think its ok...... like i dont have the patience to create a fancy ass layout that actually works are u KIDDING ME??????? I COULD LITERALLY NEVER plus i kinda like that its just the basic kinda ugly boring default layout like it makes it simple and easy and i feel like it brings focus to the only thing on this blog that i care about which is my writing, i rlly only care about the content here and not aesthetics jdbljdabsdk that blue background will be there til i Die......i adore u more btw 

- WHOA trilingual what the hell ur so cool tell me more 

- you have my word, friend, that i will continue to do all of that so long as you do the same. take care of yourself, be kind to yourself - i know u can do it, ur so kind to others and u deserve to be kind to urself, too so this is the part that genuinely brought me to tears because *sappy dumb shit ahead* ok look ever since i can remember the one and only thing ive wanted to do with my life is become an author ...... dreams of book covers with my name written on them and words in pages written by me and fanart of my characters and going into my local bookstore n seeing my book there....these thoughts all haunt my fucking brain because i want it SO BAD!!!!!!!! so bad that it makes me CRY!!!!!!!! ive never wanted something more and just!!!!!!!!!!!! idk how much u meant that part but holy fuck!!!!!! i hope so bad that one day i can send u a free copy of my book as a thank u for being the person u are. u have all my love friend, every last bit of it <333333333

[crimeronan]

ik youre not a therapist and i dont want like therapy or anything but im 17 and ive known i was bipolar for 3 years now and i dont know how im supposed to live the rest of my life like this. im so fucking tired. how do you stay alive

you sent this a couple days ago & i’m posting at a weird time so i’m not sure if you’ll see it but.  

i’ve been looking at this message trying to decide how to respond

because i don’t know your situation, your symptoms, how you’re feeling, whether you’ve had positive or negative experiences with medication, psychiatrists, therapists, hospitals, all that related shit

the bipolar life advice i give to people is vastly different depending on the individual. it’s not a one size fits all thing.  and there’s never even a guarantee that my advice will be the right choice

so since i don’t know about your situation or experiences or what you want, i’m not gonna tell you what to do.  i’m gonna focus on the “how do you stay alive” question and try to pen down some personal feelings. and if they help then great, and if they don’t then... this is the most honest i can be

(you can always ask another question to get a better answer. my inbox is a coin slot and i am a vending machine of varied-degrees-of-helpfulness replies offered at varied-inconvenient-too-long-intervals)

-

how do i stay alive

it’s a 2-parter, actually.  i pondered how to condense my thoughts/feelings, and it came down to these two things

1. love 2. spite

-

1. love

the spite is easier to write about than the love.  love is hard to reach when i feel like shit.

spite is where i go when i want to die.  love is where i go when i want to want to live.

maybe i don’t want to be alive.  but maybe i wish i did.  spite doesn’t help me much there.  spite keeps me afloat, but it doesn’t make the floating pleasurable.  there’s more to life than outlasting everything that ever hurt me.  i need a reason to continue when there’s no enemy to fight

so. love

i almost wrote about the spite alone because that’s rawer, realer, more visceral.  that’s the shit that CONNECTS when everything feels hopeless.  but it would be a lie of omission.  spite is only one of the major food groups, you’ll waste away from malnutrition if you eat it for every meal. or at least, i will.

“so you’ve got a bunch of people you love,” you say, “and you stick around for them.  cry on them.  support each other.  like each other.  fine.”  you’ve heard this story before

nah.

i mean - yes.  i have people i love.  i live with two partners, i’ve got a third girlfriend, i’ve got a long-distance platonic life partner.  i have a support net, i have a family i’ve forged, i have confidence that i’m not alone.  i have, in a bare-bones checklist sort of way, fulfilled my physiological human need for connection

but i could live without every single one of them.  i’m not dependent upon any of them for my survival.  i’m not dependent upon them for love, given or received.  (this isn’t a callous cruelty, it won’t hurt them if/when they read this.  i’ve told them all this, they know.  they’re glad of it.)

so.  what the fuck does “love” mean, then?

the short explanation is that it’s my love of life, of things in the world.  it’s all the little connections i’ve made.  every time i love something, a hook tethers to the universe.  hook enough tethers, and i no longer feel the need to float away.  no dissolution of self today, sir

the rest of this section is some of the things i love. partially it’s to show how i connect to little things and ascribe magic to the mundane.  partially it’s because i like thinking about things i love, i like typing them out, and i like that i could keep going for thousands and thousands of words.

i am laying in bed at 7:30 AM with the lights off and the shades drawn.  blue  light comes through the slats because it’s the better time of year, the one where i finally get vitamin D, the one where the birds chirp at 4AM, the one where the sky isn’t impenetrably black til 10PM.

there’s a weighted blanket tucked around my legs.  my partner rafi bought it for us to share because it’s soothing and heavy and comforting and helps with my physical pain.  right now it’s soft on my skin and if i get too emotional as i write, i can pull it over me like a cloak until i’m settled.

the apartment’s walls are blank because we’ve spent eight months intending to put art up and keep forgetting.  but there’s a newly-unearthed dining area in the kitchen because i finally shifted around the unpacked boxes that were dominating the space.  it’s new and it surprises me every time i walk out there.  it’s open and inviting and bright and it’s a sign that we’re making this place home.

we’ll put a cheap IKEA table by the window and we’ll probably never eat family dinners there - why would we sit in hard chairs and make stiff conversation when we could all cuddle on the couch - but my partner dev will create a place to do their art and the surface will be constantly littered with drying watercolor experiments.

we’ll hang our art one of these days, too, when our collective adhd offers a miraculous combo of remembering + having time + having motivation + having inspiration.  rafi has the most art because they’ve been collecting it for years.  i have to start smaller.  i’m not used to keeping physical objects.  dev has a few pieces thrifted or bought at local artist events or painted themselves

so we’ll put art up in the living room, my single “you are magic” flower print alongside a naked monster lady that dev fell in love with when we browsed art at a yuletide event months ago, alongside rafi’s monster girls and comic characters and book characters and literature art and quotes and abstract pieces and whatever else they have hiding in boxes.

my head protests that naked monster ladies do not belong in the living room, although the picture isn’t overtly sexual.  but then i remember that they do, actually, because it’s our space and we can do whatever we want with it as long as the lease isn’t broken.  there isn’t anyone in the local social circles who’d be perturbed by the decor, as far as i know.  i don’t have to hide anything from my parents because i live 3600 miles from them, and even though i miss my mom, the distance is good for me

there are two exquisite chairs on the porch.  they fold and recline from thrones to nearly-horizontal beds.  there are pillows and cupholders and trays and specific spaces for both a book and a phone.  i can sit there while the morning sun rises and read or play word games or browse tumblr, cup of coffee beside me, trees shielding my eyes from stabby sunbeams

there are remnants of the last tenant’s garden in one corner of the yard.  we’ve done fuckall for yardwork but plants struggle through anyway.  some seem to have sprouted by accident.  mushroom clusters populate the edges of the fence.  the apartment squirrel (there are probably several, but i like to think it’s a single energetic creature) runs back and forth along the fence & i always lose my train of thought & then laugh my ASS off at the “SQUIRREL! XD” adhd moment.  birds kick up leaf litter and play on the ground looking for insects to eat, they wiggle their tail feathers and flap their wings and sometimes they disappear and then return with friends

a little more than eleven months ago, i packed all of dev’s and my shit into a uhaul and drove and drove and drove to get to this city i’d never been in before to live with a partner i’d never cohabitated with.  we were homeless for more than a month, we weathered some financial disasters, we met some great people and some shitty ones

on the drive i fell in love with the sky.  i didn’t know how big it can get - actually, that’s a lie.  i’d FORGOTTEN how big it can get.  i’ve loved the sky thirty miles out to sea, no land in sight in any direction, just blue water and blue space above.  i’ve loved the vastness and the yawning beneath me and the knowledge that everything is BIGGER than i can fathom.  the depth of the sea doesn’t frighten me, it’s home. i don’t want to die, but if i had to, the ocean makes a soothing grave

in north dakota i discovered that i’ve been partially blind my whole life, which is a different tale that showed me i’ll never stop learning myself.  in montana we struggled up thousands of feet of mountains with the car huffing and puffing at the trailer’s weight, and when we finally coasted downward, it felt like sudden freefall.  we ended up in the pitch darkness of night on sheer winding interstates with midnight construction projects forcing detours.  the mountains felt hungry, they had teeth.  mountain cliffs are much scarier to me than the ocean depths

i bought a red bull and poured a little out the driver’s side door as an offering to hermes, because i’m not particularly religious but i’ll take help where i can get it.  slammed that back in a few gulps and shook to bright-eyed alertness and ended up behind a slow-driving red pickup truck that guided us over about a hundred miles of mountain terrain

i thought, that’s just some construction worker driving between sites.  the roads are empty at this time of night, but it’s an interstate.  of course we’d end up behind someone.  this isn’t divine intervention.  this isn’t the benevolence of a god

i thought, but it can be a little magic.  if i want it to be.  

and it was.  it stays with me.

god help me but i’ve been writing this stream of consciousness for more than 30 minutes and i’ve said nothing.  i haven’t talked about the city, the parks, the people, the conversations, the books, the tv shows, the movies, the communities, the library, the animals, writing, reading, singing, acting, swimming, analyzing, creating, supporting, building.  and i can keep going.  i can come up with hundreds and hundreds of things i love and i can write paragraphs about all of them

so i’ll stop here.  you get the picture.  love is the life i’ve made for myself, the surroundings i’ve built, the quiet moments i can capture, the inspiration i pin, the magic i commit to memory.

i had to work so damn hard for every single bit of this.

i’ll be fucking damned if i let it go because my brain tried to trick me into thinking death is better.

-

2. spite

there are people who want me to die.

i don’t mean that i have a giant entourage of personalized enemies who curse my name and plan my individual demise.  although there have been plenty of people who have not liked me much.  probably some of them would enjoy my death.  i don’t give a shit about that

there are people who want me dead because i am a dot on a grid they dislike.  a faceless anonymous enemy who meets too many bad criteria with numbers and percentages and shrinking majorities and shifting public opinion

because i’m gay.  because i’m bipolar.  because i’m autistic.  because i’m a dropout.  because i grew up poor.  because my spine curves and my shoulders ache.  because i squandered my potential, because i didn’t have enough potential, because i didn’t love god enough, because i love the wrong gods, because i don’t worship, because i worship wrong, because i didn’t seek a husband, because i never wanted one, because i talk too much, because i can’t be controlled, because i chose to leave the fold when i realized it was suffocating me, because i’m ugly, because i’m gorgeous, because my body belongs to me

pick your poison.

this bothered me growing up, a lot. i knew i did not deserve to die. but if enough people tell you that you should, a little part of you will wonder if they’re right.  that little part might become bigger the closer they get and the louder they shout and the longer they wear you down

we know the rough shape of this story, i don’t need to tell it.  mine was messy and not triumphant and i survived more by chance than premeditation.

i’m older now.  by and large i’m still young as shit - i’m 24 - but GOD i am LEAGUES away from 15, 16, 17. i know who i am. i know what i want. i know how to get it. and when i don’t know that, i find out. i tell the truth.  i ask for what i want.  i use my time how i want.  i do what i want.

there are days that i can’t access the “love” side of the equation.  no finding poetry in birdsong or sugared coffee for me, thank you, i feel like shit and the world is awful and everything is too big and fast and cruel and everything wants me to die and it wants everything i love to die, too.  everyone i love.  it’s all garbage. the good doesn’t touch me

trauma is difficult to describe.  the difficulty is compounded by the fact that my trauma is influenced by my various neurodivergences, bipolar included.  i never know if i’m feeling what other people do.  i don’t know if i’m voicing unpalatable feelings others are afraid to express - or if i’m just othering myself, admitting i’m not as human as everyone else.

there is something malevolent and monstrous inside me.  i don’t touch it all the time.  but i don’t pretend it isn’t there.  it sits in my chest and molders or radiates or oozes.  it presses at my throat.  it curdles in my stomach.  it hurts what it touches, whether that’s me or someone i love or someone i hate.  it sets things aflame with no regard for the precious or the fragile.  it tears down walls and razes shelters and begs for apocalyptic rain.

i can give this thing names, clinical descriptors.  i know what it is on a diagnostic chart, in a ponderous article, in an academic debate, in a fiction novel, in a war movie, in a memoir.  there are a thousand ways to describe this thing.  the descriptors aren’t important.  what is important is this - i have learned that most people do not walk side-by-side with a tornado-hurricane-hellfire-weaponized-open-nuclear-reactor.  this is not a “normal” expression of human emotion, this is not me trying to ascribe power to “bad bipolar feelings.”  this thing lives in me and i know why it’s there and it is not designed to be held/silenced/muzzled/controlled by my body.

it does not help to pretend this thing does not exist.  it does not help to try to reason it away or ignore it or tell it to stop.  it wants what it wants, it does what it does.  possibly if i was better at therapy or stubbornness then i wouldn’t resign myself to that

but it is fucking EXHAUSTING to try to fight something that’s part of me.  to try to reshape it, rename it, pare it down, make it consumable for the masses.  it’s a war i have never won and it’s a war that i will lose if i keep fighting it.  i cannot fight with myself.  i cannot beat my monster into submission.  if we’re gonna battle like that, head to head, me trying to cut it down, me trying to be the hero, it rearing back like a fire-breathing dragon,

then it’s stronger.  it’s always stronger.

so i surrender.

but that’s not where i stop.

can’t fight it.  can’t kill it.  can’t muzzle it.  can’t reshape it, can’t disarm it, can’t contain it.  

alright.  

so what now.

if the surrender was a full giving-up, this is where i’d passively accept that i’m doomed to hurt and destroy everything precious to me.  can’t fix it.  will lose everything, will never experience or deserve happiness, will make the world worse simply by existing.

that sure does sound like impending-doom rhetoric.  hop skip and a jump from some dire-ass conclusions.  

so fuck that, i say. 

here’s a better question.

if it has to get out, then what happens if i control where it goes?

here’s the thing.

the monster doesn’t care what it kills or destroys or hurts.  

“have a conscience, care about things, remember love, stop yourself, don’t do this don’t do this don’t do this.” 

 losing battle.  lost war.

 it’s not the monster’s fault.  the monster doesn’t have complex motivations or hates or fears.  it exists to protect me through scorched earth.  a remnant of a chemical imbalance, maladaptive coping mechanism, bipolar crazy, traumatized injury.  it doesn’t know that its job is obsolete.

i can’t change the monster.

but my mind is a separate thing.  my mind knows what matters, what my priorities are, what i find precious, what i want to protect.  my mind remembers all the things the monster doesn’t.  

my mind has learned things the monster can’t.

when i fight it head-on, the malevolence is stronger than me.  but as i am, walking with it, sitting in my bed writing this while examining the void and the consciousness, describing it, quantifying it,

that’s when i’m stronger.

and with my mind as the stronger force, i can decide where the monster goes.  what it touches.  what it destroys.  what it burns.  where the ashes land.

i do not want to be a destructive person.  i want to be someone who builds, repairs, changes.  i want to make the world better for kids like me.  i want to stop pouring more gasoline onto a fire that’s been burning since long before i was born.  i want to believe - i do believe - that positive change is better than negative.  i do my best to plant good things and enact that positive change instead of becoming a beacon of wrath.

but there are a lot of kids surrounded by people who want them to die, and not all of them have a protective monster.

so it’s good.

when i’m depressed, my mind loses its battles.  my cognizance slips.  i forget why i care.  i forget what i want.  i forget how happiness feels, how to find pleasure in quiet moments.  

i don’t get depressed as often as i used to since my meds are adjusted correctly now.  but it still happens.  it will keep happening for the rest of my life.

my mind weakens and curls up and stops fighting, and the monster is always there.

it’s a very powerful thing when it wants to be.

it wants to survive.

the thing is, it knows there are people that want me/us/whatever dead.  it’s been fighting them forever.  die like they want?  my mind says, sure, what does it matter.

the monster says, nah.  our work isn’t done.  and fuck them, anyway.

so we get up.

-

so that’s how i stay alive.

i typed this for 90 minutes and after editing i’d spent two hours on this post.  i don’t know if anyone will read it all.  i don’t know if it’ll mean anything.  i don’t know if these thoughts even make sense, much less if i’ve conveyed the feelings i have.

i love being alive.  and when i don’t, i love being a monster.  it’s good.  all of it is good.  i’ve reconciled my uglier pieces.  it’s not one or the other, love or spite.  it’s symbiosis.  i need both, i love both.

no guarantees that this is helpful, but based purely on my own life experience, these are my tips for survival:

you’ll have to find your own roots.  i can’t give them to you.  

but it’s possible to dig them in and spread them far enough that one uprooted peg doesn’t shift your whole equilibrium.  

and when you’re tired, rest, and let yourself be tired, and find the reason why you’re staying in the world. 

 i’m positive there’s at least one.

figure out why you’re losing your battles and then change the game.

if you can’t win one setup, don’t try to beat the system.  adjust your strategy.

you’ll be surprised by what you can love when you stop fighting the disparate pieces of you, and instead figure out how to use them.

[shytiff]

Apr 2021 Wins

Started typing this on 4th apr lmaooo

1 - went to mcd. bought chicken + rice with the app promo. there’s a staff helping me on the order machine lol i feel badd there’s no need to do thatt. ate my lunchmade by mom at mcd’s muschola and went to sbux bcs its tumbler day. green tea latte w skim milk as usual. sent dr triya’s translation. ecmocard. started rereading goong (AGAIN. i probably have read it like 3 times minimum). still bring some feels

2 - its holiday today. spent almost the whole daylight rereading goong (turns out its pronounce ‘gung’ not ‘gong’ lol ive been wrong all this time) and finished it. the scene where they stare at each other, separated by the castle door, always gets me. got the old ipad charged (the screen are like 30% close to detaching and falling apart) and started AOT

3 - spent the whole day reading AOT. i like it when i have mini purposes in life (eg: finishing a manga series). AOT rly talks a lot about what do you want to do in life, the consequences of your choices and how you have to live with it. i felt triggered in a good way. the characters dont rly judge other’s choices, but they question them. discuss about it. give you some moral push. second gladi today. my vbg was still filpped hhhh. read aot until i felt sleepy and fell asleep. woke up very near subuh and prayed isya. my toxic trait is the horrible self care (and im talking bare minimum lol hehe lmao)

4 - finished aot. Asked irun about some aot explanations and she sent 5 paragraphs in one bubble. Slept. Flavola, kopsus coklat and somay. Also ate japota honey butter. Did 1 long input of ecmocard. Followed baepsae choreo. Moved my body a bit. Wow im not immediately sleeping. Amazing

5 - arrived at harkit 11-ish and went back about 1pm loll. super hungry when im arriving in kalideres. bought tahu colek worth 3000 (i wonder how the seller hears me through my 2 layers of mask), roti sisir and some ice cream in alfamidi. my fitlife protein powder ran out again. its my 2nd already. did some ecmocard, wasted my time after maghrib

6 - woke up late. did not have the mental strength to go to harkit so i decided to just stay home. bought sbux 1L green tea and macchiato. wasted the daylight and finally did some ecmocard in the evening,,,,

7 - off to harkit 7.30-ish pm in the rain. Took some data for ecmocard. Went to salemba to get tabung and surat bebas pustaka. Had breakfast slash lunch first, tried guudfuud (red rice, beef and omega egg). I like that the rice was not too much. Met up w ness ren and talked about isip dilemmas at sky. Afterwards went to flavola. Ordered mie rebus and roasted milk tea cause i somehow feel sooo hungry and in need of calories. It tasted so good, i was sitting in my usual seat facing the window, and the sky was a mixture of blue and grey. Brought croissant and sakura pocky at indomart. Ate the bread immediately after indomie. Went back home. Juan brought tahu gejrot that was delicious and crunchy. Internship files briefing by akis. Fell asleep

8 - woke up. Saw that dr retha was up for interview. Panicked. Thankfully it was at 12. I left home at 9:40 ish and arrived 11:50. Its a long ass way. Turns out i was interviewed with ka agassi. The doctors are so kind. They explained the gist of anesthesiology profession, and how its a choice you make, and its okay as long as you like what you do. Tried halo bowl for lunch. Sous vide chicken, rice, caesar sauce, beef bacon, and the deliciouss butter broccoli. Went back to kalideres and to starbucks. I only spent <2 hrs in there (a waste of money, i know). Bought decaf hazelnut latte (apparently the beans were kenyan something? Medium?) and butter croissant (need to cushion my stomach). Did GCP certification and sent it to the ever so kind mba Ai. Still got energy from the caffeine, did some ecmocard, read quran, read.... Toji fanfic 🤦‍♀️

9 - went to rsf w mom. We took the wrong way and had to take the long way but thank god theres still time to spare. Met dr rara. Some briefing. Went to rscm w agassi, submitted files for ijazah, went back to RSF. Girlll the cost of transport. MRT: 12K. Grab: 16-17k. Thats one way trip. Bought food at rsf canteen. Eocru briefing by the research coordinator. Ward tour w dr retha. Snacked on ovaltine provided by mba ai. Went home after maghrib by tj. Liqo along the way. Glad bersih (came late). Drank macchiato for some strength but still fell asleep quickly.i shouldnt have laid down

10 - kebakaran jenggot in the morning due to green screen positioning. Finally got the appropriate setup (after many fabric tries and cutting my mukena) at 08:30. Finished showering 08:45. Zoom was opened at 9 lmao. Somehow finished before 09:30. Zoompah w mom and dad along side me. After its ovee, some "photoshoot" w fam. At this point i was truly rly sleepy. Took of my makeup. Changed my clothes. And then racil silv dev showed up lol. I got gifts c: and then atikah came. And then i redid my makeup, this time with the help of friends to create fantastic eye make up look (which i can never pull off). Eyebrows by sil, eyeshadow and liner by cheldev lol. Took some photos. Dajen came. Talked. Videocalled w pupuy. A surprise gift from fianti came. And then chel dajen went back at 8. Still cant sleep. Slept at like 11-12

11 - lazed. Woke up, ate pizza (mom bought 2 of phd's 1m pizza) and bakwan, slept again. Matcha latte and ecmocard. Watched a bit of 2nd sinau

12 - off to rsf at 06:20. Arrived 07:15 ish. Lunch was ayam penyet accompanied by snacks that mba ai bought. Off to harkit at 14:05 (bcs my laptop somehow shut down and i lost all the unsubmitted data). And then off to kalideres at 15:30 ish to meet up w clara and search for clothes for almira's wedding. Went to lippo bcs clar saw this dress that kinda looks like the brokat given. We ate at ramen ya. It doesnt rly make you feel full, the filliny sensation was kinda like indomie. Saw that the dress looked different. Ate 1 boba pancake together at banban. Continued on to the tailor in kebon jeruk. The location was in an alley, and it was raining lol. Quoting clara: "the unnecessary struggles". The tailor was quite helpful (and she looks experienced). Arrived at clara's at 8 ish. Picked up by mom with car (it was raining) and arrived at abt 9. Hurriedly showered and tarawih and tidied up AND ITS ONLY 09:45. Its crazy how efficient one use time (and at the same time, how wasteful one can be)

13 - first day of fasting. The morning was spent taking samples. I stupidly took a sample thats not yet labeled im sorry :(((( i felt kinda tired and wanted to give up this. Give up anesthesia. Went back home at 14:00 and its cloudy. The bus was the nicer types and it was COLD. Read quran along the way. Picked up by juan. Opened laptop. And then its iftar time. I was sooo sleey and the tarawih was so long thst i closed my eyes along the way. Fianti called after tarawih, we talked til abt 21:30. And then i fell asleep

14 - went to rscm. Submitted serkom files. Met dr dyah and i hope we could somehow meet her again if we study in fkui again aamiin. Went to rsf by mrt. Arrived in lebak bulus just before it was raining. The bus took a while to arrive (usually theyre there, waiting). Its still raining like crazy so i took grabcar to AR from pesakih (39k). Played with my phone til iftar. Played phone again after tarawih and fell asleep

15 - i felt rlyy lazy and cant bring myself to wake up. Off to rsf at 07:15. There were coordinator ppl. Took sample. It was raining when i went back but i took grabbike from kalideres. Wasted my time and did not do ecmocard

16 - sampling. Snacked on keripik pisang at the room. Went back early at 13:15 ish. Picked up by juan. Sleeeept (and this is before the nightmareish mistake began)

17 - i did a mistake by telling dr retha (who took the sample today) the wrong patient (it switched in my unreliable memory. I feel terrible. Thank god shes quite chill abt it (?). Read jujutsu kaiseeen. Went to flavola. Did 1 ecmocard. Went to bandar jakarta baywalk by motorbike. Spent 135k and was quite full with many varieties. Arrived home at about 20:50. Turns out juan also had bukber with his friends. Phone call with fiiii, talked abt dimrob

18 - lazed all day, read jjk, finished my part of ecmocard (gave genky to ekal cause i was a dumbass at getting data). Ate mom's mentai rice, siomay. Drank green tea latte. Read jjk til 145 (mentok) at night. Proceeds to consume all things jjk lmaoo

19 - we took sooo long to get samples. Finished at 13:00. Went to rm with dr rara. Went back home. Watched the third sinau. Read the IMMACULATE jjk fics by celestialmechanics im IN LOVEEEE with the way s/he writes ughhhh

20 - samples took faster than usual. Mba ai did not came today. Went to RM and did some work there. Off to AR by 15:00. Arrived close to maghrib. Did not do any work afterwards lmao. Did not even wash my face

21 - magang as usual. Note to self: sit on the right side of the bus. Did nothing yesterday. Felt like shit after tarawih (but i showered before maghrib!!)

22 - todays problem was the swab sample not being there even though the staff allegedly already took it. Huft. Took a shower and out on vitacid (i cant remember the kast time i put on vitacid 😳 its probably been... a week or two?

23 - samples finished quite quickly. Already going home at 12. Lazedddd and lazed and lazed. Waited for emir to pick me up so i went to dm. Read an immaculate itadori x megumi fix thats just full of feels. Started demon slayer lets see

24 - literally just laid in bed reading manga and seeing tiktok and slept again and suddenly its 1 am. Showered. Still in a lazy mode. Havent begun clires work. Watched leah's vlog that said "go do things youve been putting off!". Finally finished the third and last video of Sinau Yuk ICU class with dr. Zeta, SpAn lolll even though the actual last class was on 7th apr. iftar was fish and chips and salad yuum

25 - woke up at like 1am since i slept too much yesterday. Ate tan ek tjoan bread and drank sbux matcha latte. Did some intern work. Read a bit of quran. Sahur. Cant even sleep again so i showered. Off with mom and dad (09:30) since dad’s going to get vaccinated at skk migas. Mom drove me to ara’s place (11:00). Talked a bit and even read quran again there. Off to GI (13:00) to meet up w regen. Walked around. Bought a discounted TBS green tea facial wash. Went back home by TJ (16:00). the bus station is a bit closer now. Arrived home close to maghrib (17:30). hurriedly showered and went to sleep (properly) after tarawih. A good good sleep since i got 9400 steps today and that tired me out lmaooo (bare minimum yall, i know). 

26 - woke up still sleepy. Slept again after iftar and woke up at 07:30. Skipped shower and off to RSF lmao. Went to medical record. Walked to the front of RSF originally planning to go to lebak bulus by angkot but i saw none. So i went through mrt instead. Stopped by at kebon jeruk and walked 800 meter (that tireeed me and made me feel parched under the sun) to risma busana for clothes fitting. Took gojek to jembatan gantung (turns out the closer halte to flyover was taman kota). Iftar was chicken noodle and risol and banana and i felt fullll and i slept

27 - today is off day since im alternating with agassi. read quran. watched shadow and bone (with 1,5x speed except for kanej and matthias nina scenes). didnt rly do any magang work except the table asked by dr retha. i feel like usually im operating on 70%. sleeping more doesnt rly add that. i need caffeine or physical activity. before i know it, its close to iftar.

28 - i ((felt)) like i had a decent amount of energy today. shouldve done some work between sahur and leaving the house but i ended up reading vampire knight lmaoooo the scenes had no business bringing so much butterflies. sampling together w agassi. mba ai didnt come in today. after agassi left did some magang work. i also went to RM to ask for more RM to bu dian. took angkot to lebak bulus for the first time. paid 5k. i had no idea which angkot went to lebak bulus and the driver (somehow knowing the right words to say) said “lebak bulus lebak bulus”. didnt read much quran on the way back. i just close my eyes and relaxed. felt kinda low on sugar. watched more shadow and bone on the way back and at home until close to iftar. didnt do anything after tarawih. slept hoping i woke up early (which i did, at 3am. but i slept again)

29 - im supposed to have ample energy but i just stuck around my bed until its time to get ready to go. read some kanej fic lol. I dont rly do anything productive after arriving home

30 - made intern log, magang as usual. Did not go to rm. Finished watching shadow and bone. Rested bcs tomorrow's saturdayyy

[gaygwenpool]

*slams fists on table* MYSTELEON

I knew you wouldnt disappoint! :D  tho you already know most of these lmaoo  lotsa credit to @herbofoo anyway, i dont remember which of these you came up with but Patchwork wouldnt be the same without your Good Good Content! (And of course thanks for all your patience as i cry about comics lmao)

I’ve lost all shame long since ive started shipping them so brace yourself for the self-indulgent cheese that is Chameleon/Mysterio in my Patchwork verse. (its reallly. really Melodramatic. i gave up all pretense.. also under the cut cuz its long..)

ask meme

Who cooks:

Mysterio! Although Chameleon is objectively The Superior Cook thanks to the long years of being a servant to picky russian nobility BUT exactly because of that, he really doesnt enjoy it, even less when cooking for others and not just himself. So it is usually Beck who prepares meals (that are not bad either, they are just simpler) but as often as they can, they eat out. That said, Cham is very well aware Quentin loves his cooking so sometimes, he makes them something. (Being sick isnt so bad when it means Chammy bringin you a big bowl of hot borscht :)

On the other hand, Cham has quite a sweet tooth which Q notices Fast and decides to learn how to bake. It took more effort and failed tries than it could have, mostly because he got cocky, how hard could this be and just. kept forgetting he put stuff in the oven.. But now he makes quite delicious cookies n cakes which make Dmitri almost tear up because tasty + Quentin baked something Specifically for him?? 

Who does the laundry and other chores:

Mysterio’s laundry is usually booby trapped so he has to clean it himself and he doesnt even let Cham near it. And he keeps forgetting gadgets in his civvies. Not to mention that again, for the same servant reason, Cham really doesnt enjoy house chores in general, so he usually just gets his own clothes cleaned somewhere else (especially since his fancy suits and even fancier gowns are the highest quality and delicate materials, he doesnt even Know how to clean them..) 

As for the rest of the chores, its pretty balanced, although Cham has more of an eye for things that needs to be cleaned up (and Beck already has cooking duties) so he does a tad more. 

How many children do they have + Any pets:

In my Patchwork universe there’s a whole Thing about Leon, the Chameleon of the Ultimate universe but I’ve tried to type up a short summary and failed, it’s a long story lmao ^^;; and anyway he isnt exactly their kid, he is just much younger than them and they ended up sorta mentoring him. 

However, they have Celavi, the escaped ex-spy beluga.(Yes, it started as a joke based on this post that accidentally grew more and more serious until @herbofoo and me were too attached to let it go) She counts pretty much as their adopted daughter that they both spoil to hell and back, I mean no surprise, she saved Cham’s life once and sometimes, she helps out with heists. (Mostly for the show, you should have SEEN the look on Spider’s face when a beluga splashed him. He is used to humanoid sharks, to Hydroman.. not like. real life beluga that LAUGHS at him) Beck’s voice: “Dont you dare to insult her, SHE IS PERFECT AND FLAWLESS and A GOODNESS INCARNATE!! -she is literally a deserted russian spy that was trained to gather everything that could be used to harm USA-yea, i have a soft spot for those ;)“

She was always surprisingly clever so she never really counted as a “pet” and at one point, she even bonds with a symbiote (together they are Vague, again long story ah ha). They dont talk but have quite some range of vocalisations so communication isnt a problem. 

Who’s more dominant: 

They both have pretty dominant strong personalities (ok chameleon’s a bit more complicated with that but like.) with big egos who dont like others questioning their superiority. (Of course not at the level of like Doc Ock etc, they are surprisingly flexible and good team players that can be willing to let someone else take the spotlight if they are Nice) But the whole point of their relationship is that neither of them is dominant over the other, they get enough of that literally everywhere else. It’s very reassuring to be so sure that they are on equal footing, cooperating, no hidden nooses around their neck. Especially in their line of work of course! 

(Also, for the other interpretation of this question: anythin remotely sexual happens Pretty Late in the story and both of them are somewhere on the ace spectrum so it doesnt happen that often but they are both verses tho Beck bottoms more)

Favorite nonsexual activity:

MOVIES!! Sprawled on the giant comfy couch, closer than technically needed, cuddling and watching old movies with great special effects and/or great actors! Listening to Beck excitedly rant through the most dramatic speech of the story as he explains how the next cliffhanger is done with hydraulics! Focusing so hard on the stars in his eyes and his excited tone and gestures and just the tone of his voice you forgot to listen to the words themselves! Watching Cham’s face flawlessly mimic the faces on the screen in a blink of an eye and secretly guessing which one will he pick next. Feeling his head slowly fall on your shoulder, eyes closed, his mask smooth but not tense, instead just.. peaceful. Slight ping of annoyance, after all, this is A Classic movie dammit, but it’s gone in a second because Mitya hasnt slept since thursday and you are just relieved he is finally getting his rest. Feeling his warmth under your hand on his shoulders and suddenly never ever wanting to get up again.. EHM. anyway

PLANING HEISTS TOGETHER!! and more or less successfully executing them but planning is actually even more fun aside from the Big Reveals and Entrances which are actually harder to coordinate than one would think! 

Lots of shobiz/job talk actually, they really enjoy what they do! Lots of people already mentioned that in their hc compilations but i agree, they love goin to see all kinds of movies and plays and performances as well as acting various scenes with one another!  

Their favorite place to be together:

NEW YORK CITY BABEYY. Sure they love to travel and see other countries (and cause mayhem there) but.. they love their mess of a city, it’s never the same without the webhead around as well as the bazillion of other heroes n villains bashin each other’s heads. 

Any traditions:

Oh so many pop culture references and inside jokes, oh my god. One time, they spent the entire heist (and its planning period) speaking strictly in famous movie lines and titles, Max and other sixers tried to join but didnt last too long :’D 

Beck also has a habit of taking pictures of people with Interesting faces or styles he sees and sends them to Cham. Also another fanon classic: together they have a running game, disguising themselves as moderately famous people and the other guessing who..

Their “song”:

‘This is me’ from the Greatest Showman, i just live for the two of them singin it in Cham’s car,off key but fully immersed and living it. 

What they do for each other on holidays:

Neither of them are religious but that doesnt stop Beck from going ALL OUT at any opportunity, Sin Six doesn’t do any heists around holidays because you Know he’d make them dress for the occasion or worse, write them themed lines…  They still meet for Christmas and Hanukkah and sometimes other holidays too because this is my AU and you can pry festivities-related shenanigans from my cold, cold hands. It’s always at Beck’s place tho because he can turn his hideout into the tackiest holiday-themed showcase but he aint roping them into it.  

On the other hand, Cham despises American commercialized holidays in general and Christmas time especially, since it’s not a big thing in Russia and  also once again, he has family issues for days. (Although relatively speaking, he is pretty over these, he is not gonna like mope around or anything) 

Anyway, what they do for each other is that they try to compromise, Dmitri doesnt sneer at stupid kitsch decorations every 5 minutes and Quentin ..chills a little. :’D To be fair, Beck makes everything fun and having Cham there makes Beck appreciate the details more instead of just goin into BETTER!BIGGER! frenzy.

Where did they go for their honeymoon:

After the fuckin Ages of pinning, when they finally end up together for realsies, they wanted somethin Big and Flashy! (Well Beck wanted and Cham kinda too but also with the option to merge with the crowd unnoticed and take some chill time) Anyway they went on a whole world wide tour! Starting with a luxury cruise, they took their time, lots of crime sprees to plan and execute, lots of local shows to see, lots of dumb heroes to fool, they’re gonna have it all! 

Where did they first meet:

Around the time when Cham and Hammerhead had their criminal empire running Fisk to the ground, Otto decided the Sin Six should team up with them for their ressources needed on one heist or something. They agreed but Cham insisted on actually going in the field, it’s been a while since he really stretched his face legs like this and the mafia life was starting to bore him. Doc made him team up with Mysterio much to the fishbowl’s dismay because why do they need another disguise artist?? He is the Master Of Illusions dammit, he can run circles around this guy, what the fuck Otto?? So at the start, he pouts and fumes under his helmet and in general he is his v unpleasant self but… He can’t help but notice that the new guy is a real professional, he even uses Traditional masks, he likes the same movies… And most importantly, he is actually interested in Mysti’s craft, asking questions and even LISTENING to his long winded answers… At one point he even wondered if that X thing was meant as a HOMMAGE to the Y movie, the Six never did that!! (Usually the rest of the sixers dont know the reference, heathens, and when they do, they mock him for it, that he’s copying ideas and mixin them ridiculously.  BUT THIS GUY GETS IT!!) So it doesn’t take long for them to hit it off, of course at this point without any real Trust behind it but it’s a start. 

(Though Beck does pay a visit to Otto like, buddy pal i know you’ve been planning on manipulating these crimelords to your end somehow and honestly, any other day i’d be down, i actually had a robot prepared for my own backstab but i was thinking they werent that bad and maybe we Could hold our end of the bargain this time and just. leave each other on good terms? Mabye? Obviously it’s purely out of respect for our teammate Kraven since him and Chameleon seem to have some history, nothing more, definitely nothing to do with how bright Cham’s eyes were when i was showing him the back of my stage… ) 

What do they fight over:

this whole post has been a mountain of cheese but im bringing more! Honestly, goin through my notes on Patchwork, their biggest arguments have always been about.. the other one not taking proper care of himself :’D Or them lashing out because they were scared and worried about the other and they cant stand being so vulnerable while the other pretends it’s not a big deal because they dont know how to handle genuine concern directed at them. 

Do they go on vacations, if so where:

GIVE!!! BECK!!!! HIS!!!! ISLAND!!!!!!They actually do have one, it’s where Celavi spends most of the time and they visit her often. But never for too long, neither of them can actually spend too long doing nothing.. 

[ladyboltontoyou]

Arthur Morgan x Reader: Ol’ Fashion Fingers

Ask: ahhh okay so the kinda gross idea! i was wondering if you could write something where the reader is on her period and arthur takes care of her, and i mean...we both know he’s not afraid to get his hands dirty and also...a bit of blood won’t gross him out right? so maybe...he takes care of her and later...works his magic fingers to makes her feel better? i know it’s probably very gross but my cramps are so extremely bad this month i’m dying i just need some arthur i LOVE your writing btw!

Warning: Fingering, period blood

Pairing: Arthur Morgan x Reader

A/N: I am so sorry I took so long on this. Whoever sent in the ask, hope you enjoy! (Lmfao at the ‘say no more’ part at the end) Also, they didn’t have tampons or pads back then I don’t think so I used rags, since that’s what I remember women had to use before our ‘luxury’ items. 

“Kill me, put a bullet in my skull, please, it would be a mercy.” Your cramps this month were killing you. They hadn’t been this bad in years, not since you first started having them when you were very young.

“That bad?” Arthur asked as he chewed on a some of the candy Hosea had bought for you.

“You have no idea.” You sighed, watching him clean his gun. The two of you were sitting in a room at one of the Taverns in Valentine, you had rented out a room and bought special service to help ease the pain. Every thirty minutes a maid would bring you a fresh cold rag, a hot blanket, and some water. Karen had done it the last time she got her period and said it was one of the best things she’d ever spent money on. 

Arthur set his gun down on the dresser and made his way over to you, sitting down on the edge of the bed beside your feet. “Well, I’m sorry to hear that. Is there anything I can do for you?”

You hummed and looked up, pretending to be deep in thought. “I don’t know… kiss me?” 

Arthur broke into a smile and leaned across you, giving you a quick kiss. “How was that?”

“I still hurt. Kiss me again.”

He kissed you again, longer this time and with more movement. When he pulled back he raised a brow, questioning silently.

“I think it’s working, but I can’t tell. Maybe you’re not trying hard enough.” You forced yourself into a sitting position, now face to face with the man. 

Arthur let out a sigh, not one of annoyance but rather amusement, and brought you in for another kiss. This time you caught him off guard and slipped your tongue in his mouth, bringing up a hand to run your fingers through his hair. His hat fell onto the ground but neither of you noticed. 

The kiss didn’t end as quickly as the others did. Even when he pulled the sheets off of your body your lips remained connected. Even when his hands slid up your legs and gave your thighs a squeeze. You only broke the kiss so you could take your pants off. They were your go-to that time of the month pair, they had holes in the knees and were black so if you had any sort of accident no one would be able to tell. 

You had changed your rag not too long ago so it wasn’t that bloody, thankfully. Even though Arthur had mentioned many times before that he had seen blood almost every day of his life, it wasn’t anything new or gross to him. Still, sometimes you felt a bit embarrassed. 

“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.” You reminded Arthur as he planted kisses along your neck while his hands squeezed your bare hips.

“Quit that. Lay down and relax, alright?” 

You nodded and laid back down flat on your back after you removed your button up shirt. Arthur hadn’t bothered removing any of his clothing since what he planned on doing didn’t involve him at all. Maybe afterward if what he had in mind didn’t hurt, but he couldn’t imagine anything bigger than a finger inside you would do anything other than cause more unnecessary pain.

He started with massaging your clit, working you up enough so you were shaking. Your little whimpers and moans were almost too much for him but he kept himself together and focused on you and you only. 

After a while of doing that he lightly trailed his fingers down your folds, teasing your entrance with feather-like touches. He kept his eyes on your face and searched for the slightest sign of discomfort, but he only found pleasure. You had your mouth slightly open, letting out quick puffs of air, and your eyes closed. 

“Don’t hesitate to stop me, you hear?” As if. After all the time you’d known Arthur, he still surprised you every day by how sweet he could be. You’d never find another man living as considerate, honest, and utterly selfless as Arthur Morgan.

“M’kay.” 

He looked at you for a few more seconds before he was satisfied that you were totally okay with everything. He then pushed one finger inside you, slow and only partial. Almost immediately he looked up to make sure you didn’t look like you were in any pain. You seemed fine, eyes still closed with your bottom lip between your teeth from anticipation.

You wished he would get on with it, you weren’t made of glass. But you knew he was just being careful, and plus, it wasn’t like you didn’t like when he teased you a little. In your experience, an orgasm always felt better after you had to work for it. 

When he was finally knuckle deep he tested out a gentle curl, knocking a moan out of you. “You alright girl?” He asked, his voice raw and husky, and stilled his movements. 

“Keep going.” 

He obliged and continued curling his fingers, making you forget about the pain going on inside you. You’d never actually fingered yourself whilst on your period, it would be too hard to hide the blood on your fingers if anyone walked in on you. You had settled for outside stimulation which usually eased your pain for a while, but this was a whole different feeling. It was as if you weren’t even on your period at all. No cramps, your spine didn’t ache and your legs weren’t sore to the touch. You didn’t even have a headache anymore.

It didn’t take you long to come. The feeling of his long thick fingers inside you coupled with the erotic image of him sitting fully clothes between your spread legs was too much to handle. Even if you wanted to prolong the whole thing you couldn’t, your orgasm came too sudden and fast for you to do anything about it. All you could do was let out a couple of swear words with his name thrown in a few times and came around his fingers.

Arthur was blown away, as he was every time he had the ‘privilege’, as he called it, to watch you come. “Jesus, woman.” Was all he could say.

You sat up with shaky arms, catching your breath as you ran your fingers through your hair. “That almost works better than morphine.” You joked and grabbed your shirt, slipping your arms through the sleeves but not bothering to button it back up.

“Speakin’a morphine, you should have some soon,” Arthur said as he watched you grab a new rag from the bedside table, wiping the cum and blood from your thighs before you handed it to the man beside you. “Unless the maid rode off with my money.”

“Oh, Arthur. You didn’t have to do that.” 

“Don’t ‘oh Arthur’ me.” He said as he wiped his fingers off, throwing the rag on the floor with the other one. “It was either that or cocaine, and you don’t need that right now. Last time you had some of that we couldn’t get you to sit down for ten minutes, you remember that?”

Shaking your head you laughed, getting one more rag to put in the pants you’d just slipped back on. “Yeah, I do.” You had chewed on far too many pieces of cocaine gum with the intention to get some work done around camp, but you ended up finishing all the chores within thirty minutes. So for the rest of the day, you were doing tasks that didn’t need to be done, such as over-hunting and fishing. The camp had to cook triple what they normally did every night so the food wouldn’t spoil. 

“I will admit, once you’re done with this whole bleeding thing it wouldn’t hurt to have you hunting again. You’re ‘bout the only one in camp besides me who can shoot anything without ruinin’ the meat.” 

You smiled at his compliment and laid back down, savoring the time you had left until the pain would kick back in. Hopefully, the morphine would get to you before then. “Thank you, Arthur. I feel much better now. You’re so good at that, I might start paying you to make me feel better instead of these maids.”

Arthur smiled and scooted up so he could lay down beside you. “Yeah, well, seeing you like that is all the payment I could ask for.” He kissed your cheek and you couldn’t help but laugh. 

“Oh yeah? Well, I think I’ve got some more to pay you.” 

Arthur held up his hand. “Don’t say nothin’ else.”