#spent all day rewatching the fight and pondering things

[hoarding-stories]

I wasn't lying when I said I would fixate on the imagery of the avatars getting more and more godly as the fight went on:

Divine Prowess-

It's like watching a crack form in a dam, the power that flows into these people like it was always an inevitability. It is not very noticeable at first, a hum, a glow, a synchronized inhale as the ward breaks. But soon, as they do damage and take it in turn, more things start to show. The smell of power that hangs like petrichor in the air, Ayden's blood burns star bright against his skin, Emhira's eyes once blinded do not look damaged but instead like a corpse's, Asha's nails grow sharper and her muscles stronger moving with the grace of a wild beast, SILAHA's metal frame gains an oil-slick colorful sheen with the damage inflicted making them all the more beautiful, Trist's hair bleeds further white with soft feathers falling from her coat as she moves, and the ice that makes up the Emissary's body has a glow like reflected sunlight.

And like a cracked dam, most of the other wards break free all at once with a bang.

A brilliant outpouring of magic, manifesting and falling from the open sky above to decimate the forces of those who would stand against the gods and their power. Two of those gods, *dancing* through the debris reveling in the might on display.

And as they dance...

Divine Magic-

SILAHA, the Archeart, looks as though they are made of liquid metal, beautiful fractal reflections of light playing off their form. Powerful magics are so often destructive and hold such beauty because of it. They move ever so smoothly in their dance, gliding as if a projection, and the magic is so thick in this space as to be able to taste it.

Divine Vitality-

Asha, the Wildmother, leads as vines and leaves spring from her flesh, wrapping this paltry mortal form in the vestments of the world that is *hers*. With every step, moss grows on the stone, and the heady scent of ripe fruit begins to fill the air around her.

Divine Potency-

Trist's, The Everlight's, footsteps leave a glowing trail behind her in stone as though they are impressions on soft dirt. Her hair is fully a soft white, and there is a weight to her now, a powerful certainty, the irresistible draw of redemption, of hope, of trying. Spectral wings are barely visible behind her, arcing off her back and hanging in the air, shedding the occasional feather that drifts gently in her wake.

The major wards are gone, and with her hopeful, merciful pull it's a work of a second to ask for and recieve the destruction of yet another ward.

Divine Resistance-

Ayden, the Dawnfather, out of all of them, is burning bright. So much light is pouring off of him, piercing golden sunlight, and it is warm. It is almost impossible to see his face from a distance with his halo restored, but he is changing. The Dawnchild is rapidly aging in order to carry this heavy weight funneled into his form, filling him with power. With tears running down his face, lost in the eddy of this divinity returning, he releases some of it into this space, and the dawn comes with its terrible might.

The Emissary, feeling the impressions of protection and assistance that these gods have imparted on their form as they move to shatter the stone of the penultimate ward, is aware that the tide has truly turned and things are about to come to a close.

Divine Awareness-

Emhira, The Matron of Ravens, stays the most human-seeming out of all her peers. Her clothes lose their vibrancy, her skin pales, and her shadow deepens and darkens behind her. There is a slight chill surrounding her, an absence of heat, contrasted sharp against the light and warmth of her fellows. But she persistently gives the impression of humanity, of something singularly mortal and deeply rooted in all that has taken place around her. She is ever-present in this moment, an unignorable reminder of what is to come.

The final ward. Child's play to utterly break and sunder, the Matron of Ravens ensuring this machine will hold them back no longer.

Divine Vigor-

The Emissary is not a god. It was sent by the Lawbearer as a decisive strike, a way to truly end this threat to her family. He is here, in this now, with his purpose, and because of it, he is the only true witness to the gods fully set loose on Aeor. They are still in their avatars, though now the might of their godly prowess has filled, spilled over, and warped what was once fully mortal.

They are still anchored to mortal height, but there is a distinct sense of size with them all, as if you were to unfocus your eyes or listen to the part of your brain screaming in fear you could almost see the monumental silhouettes stretching up and up and up.

Standing near them is a cacophony, the calling of so many animals, the bright hum of so much magic, cries of those experiencing loss, neverending warmth, and a feeling like a presence at your back. So many varying sensations as to drive a mortal mind mad with either unrest or overwhelming.

They move like they have forgotten there were rules that once applied to these bodies. What limits they had have now sloughed off, and the boundless infinite of their capabilities clumsily fit within the delicate shell still being held by each of them.

It is a terror, a comfort, a hope, a horribly certain thing wrapped in divine knowledge that this was always going to be the result.

The Emissary knows his time is at its end. He is scared. He will save his mother's family.

And he does.

[reidsaurora]

Prompt: Spencer trying to cook for his partner? ❤️‍🩹 (hope this is a fun one)

anon, i could not have asked for a better prompt! i've been meaning to write something like this for a while and you finally pushed me to write it so thank you! ❤️

"Burnt Food" ~ S. Reid

Summary: With Y/N and Spencer's wedding anniversary right around the corner, Spencer is determined to make his wife the most memorable meal she's ever had. However… the dinner ends up being memorable in a way Spencer couldn't have never hoped for less.

Pairing: Husband!Spencer Reid x Fem!Wife!Reader (because i'm obsessed with the idea of marrying this man, fight me)

Word Count: 781

Content Warning: mention of food and alcohol, mild sexual content, implied smut at the end but no details

Genre: lots of Fluff. as i always say, what else did y'all expect from me 😭

Extra Notes: yes the title is stolen from The Good Doctor bc i just started rewatching it hehehehe

Based On the Prompt: "Spencer trying to cook for his partner?"

Originally Written: 09/16/22

Beta Read By: @reidsbookclub (love u forever bestie)

Criminal Minds masterlist can be found here!

Touches Prompts can be found here!

ofwilliamandwalter's ask box can be found here!

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

When it comes to cooking, Spencer's skills are… less than satisfactory, we'll say.

It wasn't like he hadn't tried being a decent chef. Many nights, he'd found himself staring at a fancy Pinterest recipe, hoping and praying and crossing his fingers that it would turn out right.

Still, between his father never teaching him how to cook and his mother being unable to cook at all, Spencer never really could get the hang of sautéing vegetables to the correct consistency or browning ground beef just right.

But with his one year wedding anniversary right around the corner, he was determined to make a meal so spectacular that it would put even Gordon Ramsay to shame.

In the days leading up to his anniversary, Spencer spent every free moment he had browsing the internet for the perfect dinner recipe. Spaghetti? No, too stereotypical. Roasted turkey? No, too difficult. Steak? No, too stereotypical and too difficult.

Finally, just as Spencer clicked on what he swore would be his last article for the night, he spotted it.

Garlic butter salmon.

"How hard could salmon be?" he pondered. "Surely it's like chicken. Chicken's pretty easy."

Oh, how Spencer underestimated the intricacy of cooking the perfect salmon.

An hour into his cooking endeavors, he found himself extremely disappointed by the food in front of him and slightly annoyed with himself for insisting that his wife get a manicure while he prepared her surprise.

He didn't even hear the door open as he stood in horror, staring at mushy and overcooked asparagus, rice pilaf that was dry enough to be mistaken for dog food, and what was left of the now shredded salmon. "Perhaps I underestimated the instructions when the article insisted that salmon could fall apart easily if not flipped properly," Spencer internally admitted to himself.

The only thing that had made it out intact from Spencer's disastrous cooking attempt was the bottle of chardonnay, which he now feared he'd somehow manage to screw up too. "Does she even like this brand? What good is an eidetic memory if I can't even remember what brand of wine she likes?" his inner monologue war continued.

"Spence?" Y/N asked softly, watching her husband stand over the stove in what could only be described as sheer terror.

Spencer turned his head slowly, wishing he could disappear. "Yeah?" he replied in the same tone, the feeling of pricking tears burning his eyes.

"What are you doing?" she further inquired, more so having reference to his facial expression rather than his actual actions.

"Um…" he hesitated, trying to figure out exactly how he should explain himself, "Well… I wanted to make you dinner for our anniversary."

"Uh huh."

"But, uh… it didn't work out very well."

Y/N's expression softened as she looked over the food. "Well, that was very kind of you."

Spencer's mouth went into that signature scrunch like it always did as he continued to hold back tears of disappointment. "But… I ruined it."

Y/N reached up, running her fingers delicately along Spencer's shoulder. "Honey, you didn't ruin anything. I prefer my asparagus well done anyway," she said, finishing her statement with a giggle.

His scrunch formed into a half-smile as he looked down at his wife. "I wanted to make you this nice dinner as a gesture to say 'thank you for always putting up with me' but I fear I've made the problem worse."

A laugh made its way out of Y/N's lips—Spencer's favorite noise to ever grace his eardrums. "There is no other man I'd ever want to put up with other than you," she smiled, her hand moving from his shoulder to the loose ringlets at the bottom of his neck. "I mean, I don't know any other man I'd willingly take to a movie theater just to watch a four-hour-long Russian movie with him."

Finally, for the first time all day, a laugh spilled from Spencer's mouth. "Thank you. I appreciate it."

Y/N's other hand made its way to Spencer's chest, her thumb rubbing small circles near the collar of his button-down. "At least the intermission was fun," she smirked, having flashbacks to all that they'd put that family bathroom through.

Spencer's eyebrows raised suggestively. "You know… we still have a perfectly good bottle of wine to celebrate with," he proposed, moving his hands to sit lightly on her hips.

Y/N leaned up to leave a long, hungry, and somewhat sloppy kiss on Spencer's buttery lips. "At least the garlic butter tasted good," she thought to herself.

Their lips chased each other as they wandered through their shared apartment, Spencer's burnt rice and shredded salmon soon being long forgotten.

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

YALL I CANNOT EXPRESS TO YALL HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS BLURB 😭

I've been meaning to write a fic like this ever since I saw this post by @radiant-reid and I am so so so happy it turned out as well as it did. I've loved this concept ever since I first read the post and I'm so happy I finally got a chance to write my own little version of it.

Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed! This is definitely one of my favorite fluffy things I've written recently. I think it's so cute and simple but so sweet.

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

↳ Request an imagine here!

↳ Join my taglist here!

↳ Get to know me here!

↳ TAGLIST: @lowsodiumfreaks67 @drayshadow @alexxavicry @nomajdetective @kbakery @leigh70 @darkloverfox @sammyrenae68 @cherrycandle @asgardprincess97 @gh0stgurl @esposadomd @randomwriter1021 @eddieharrington @lunar-affection @givemeth @lavhoes @rhyanishere @gal-obsessed-with-marvel @danielle143 @marsmallow433 @handsupforamiracle @criminalmindsandmarvel @mente-sindescanso @reveriemgg @spencer-reids-adventures @ah-blossom @encyclo-reid-ia @reidselle @aislingcanning

☆𝐓𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐓 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐏𝐄𝐎𝐏𝐋𝐄 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒☆

[langernameohnebedeutung]

what did you think of the finale? I thought this season was miles better than S2 and hoping so much for Jensen for the future if they make more

(spoilers, for anyone who hasn't seen it yet)

I mean, I'm still kind of sorting through it tbh, so this is just a random list of my thoughts and reactions. First thought: What a day for Starlight x Maeve! ...what a day for people who adopted Black Noir last week as their babey :(

In a way, I find it a bit hard to compare season 2 and season 3 because I think they are very different stories. Season 2 is a lot more about social commentary and symbolism and the media (though in a way it's always about the media, no The Media no The Boys), while season 3 is a lot more personal and emotional and about the characters. In fact, one thing I really liked about the finale is that it showed me how invested I had gotten in a wide range of storylines - even if I hadn't noticed how much certain characters had grown on me.

In season 2, Stormfront is basically this walking metaphor (which is also interesting to examine and especially during my rewatch, I found such interesting details like her earrings or stuff her followers say or do), so stuff like watching her getting a very undignified curb stomp from Kimiko, Maeve and Annie hits differently for a finale than what we got in this one where we actually see the emotional side of our characters. (Though I must say, the fight sequences, Annie's glow-up scene, the explosion and jump out of the window - again, what a day for Annie/Maeve - and all almost felt a little too MCU'ish in a not-parody way at times and kind of could have used a bit more of the The Boys vibe.) (Plus you get really weird scenes both in Herogasm and now in the finale where two characters are randomly fighting in the background while the others talk and stuff and on the one hand, that has that anti-climactic, deconstructing Boys vibe, but it's also a bit...weird tbh? I dunno, sometimes it felt a little like they weren't sure which way they wanted to go - whether they're being the funny superhero parody atm or whether they're taking themselves seriously. Though, I think for the stakes of this finale, it was the best decison to actually do take themselves seriously.)

What I definitely think this season did a lot better on was deliver an emotional punch and give us pay-offs on a lot of different characters' stories and background/backstories and it even has a great effect on the old scenes. For example, I rewatched the season 1 finale after the episode with Billy's childhood stories and it really changed the way I felt watching the scene where he and Homelander face-off with Stillwell and her child as their respective hostages.

I only rewatched season 2 very fleetingly, but there were several parts where I thought it had some really weird pacing and plot-priorities or felt kind of unbalanced or forced (for example, I wish we had spent a lot more time with Kimiko's brother, especially considering the ending he got). In this season, it felt a lot more organic, everyone had something to deal with - and I did enjoy how generational abuse/abuse getting passed-on was such a uniting theme for many characters.

Personally I'm pretty sure that they are going to bring back Soldier Boy - you don't put a character on ice for no reason - but I guess they're gonna have to find a new mission for him, with his team all gone.

Two things that have me a bit worried is:

How much sensitivity and skill they're going to have/not have about mixing streams with their very character related, very personal storylines and the social commentary. I feel like that might very easily go very, very wrong and stuff like this rivalry between Starlight-supporters and Homelander-supporters already had me a bit...on edge in that regard, though I think I'll need to do some more pondering to sort through this and to like...comprehensively put this problem into words. I just generally hope they're going to be smart and sensitive about this and not drink their own kool-aid too much.

Also I'm a bit worried about them turning Homelander's wire mother upbringing problem and the generational abuse thing in that family (or at least mishandling it in a way that kind of turns it) into some 'evil genes' thing. They really got to handle Ryan very cleverly as a character (a character that so far, has been very cookie-cutter) to really make this work. I think we have a good basis bc Homelander already kind of inflicted pretty much the same abuse on Ryan that Soldier Boy's father inflicted on him and that Homelander now (briefly) experienced from Soldier Boy, and I really hope they explore what that means for Ryan after everything he has been through - and the complicated feelings he has about Billy and Homelander. But I'm a bit worried that they'll fail to do this and make him some sort of Evil Child Supe who is More Powerful Even Than Homelander and becomes some...flying fascist Jamie Lannister. To me, the whole "Ryan and Homelander" storyline and the fall-out between Soldier Boy and Homelander already felt a little too rushed - like they wasted the the "disappointment"-punch a little by bringing it in after so few interactions between Homelander and Soldier Boy. It felt like they could have gone bigger.

I mean, that sounds really critical, but I also think that it packed a stronger punch than the last finale, I liked the note we ended on, it had some really great character moments (I really liked how Hughie's and Butcher's dynamic was handled especially in the last few episodes), we got some more word-building - and yeah, I had a good time! :)

[shirtlesssammy]

4x10: Heaven and Hell

Then:

TFW needed a little work before they got it right

Now:

We start off right where we left off in the last episode. The angels are here for Anna. She has to die.

Uriel attacks Ruby and Dean tries to stop it. Cas starts walking towards Sam, and despite Sam’s pleas, he boops him into unconsciousness. Suddenly there’s lights and Uriel and Cas are zapped to places unknown. (Cas’s wings in the flash...emotion hearts). They find Anna with a ridiculously severe wrist wound and a mysterious sigil on the mirror written in her blood. She sent them away. 

They hide Anna away at Bobby’s. Dean and Ruby bond over hex bags. It’s almost cute.

Um, Bobby’s not home because he’s in the Dominican (and I just Googled “Hedonism and Dominican” ... probably shouldn’t have). Anyway, Sam’s got exposition on Anna. This bought of psychosis isn’t her first. When she was a toddler, she was convinced her real father was “very mad -- like wanted-to-kill-her mad.” Anna interrupts their little chat. 

Sam asks her why the angels want her. She has no clue. She’s upset that her parents are dead and her life has been turned upside-down. They need to find out what her deal is. 

Enter PAM! 

(I know I’m technically not supposed to like that bit of sexual harassment but her exchange with Sam is SO funny and cute. He’s so earnest and they play the victim card with her, but she ain’t having it and she’s going to have some fun at Sam’s expense.  And Dean’s smile at the end, JOY.) 

Pam introduces herself to Anna and sets to hypnotizing her. She asks about Anna’s father and Anna freaks out. Dean tries intervening and gets knocked out. Pam wakes her and Anna remembers who she is. “I’m an angel.” 

Pam and Ruby are side-eyeing this “friendly” angel. Turns out Anna was Cas and Uriel’s boss in angel-land. She disobeyed, which is the worst thing an angel can do (WEEPS for future Cas.) She ripped out her grace and fell to Earth. Now Heaven and Hell want her. She’s determined to get her grace back. 

“So you’e just going to take some devine bong hit, and shazam, you’re Roma Downey?” Ah, Dean, you do have a way with words (Also, dude loves pop culture SO much that Touched By an Angel is on his radar. BLESS THIS BOY.) 

Sam remembers reading about a meteor about 9 months before Anna was born and Ruby responds, “You’re pretty buff for a nerd.” Get a room, you two.) 

For Real Life Jesus They’re Cute Science:

Ruby apologizes for getting Sam involved with this war. She’s afraid of Alistair too. He’s no joke in Hell. She tells Sam he should send Alistair back to Hell, but he’s got to practice to do it. Sam refuses. 

Anna’s star gazing when Dean returns from taking Pamela home. Dean asks Anna why the angels saved him. Dean then asks why she would want to be human. He lists all the bad things about the human condition, and she lists all the good. 

Ultimately, it’s the emotions of being human that matter so much to her. Obedience and emotionless faith is overrated. Only 4 angels have ever laid eyes on God (Well...five now!) Anna complains about watching over Earth, waiting for order from a father who might never return, and Dean laughs and laughs. I really love how Anna’s story shifted to Cas. Dean and Anna give each other looks, but Sam, in all his glory, interrupts. He’s found something!

They head off for a tree in Kentucky that is probably the place where Anna’s grace fell. 

They get to the tree and Anna can sense that it’s not there anymore. Someone took it. 

Later, Anna’s listening to Angel Radio and hears the angels say that if the Winchesters don’t turn over Anna, they’ll throw Dean back in Hell. Dean is speechless, but Sam wants to know what kind of weapon works on an angel. Dean’s in freak out mode --they need to find an answer. 

Later, Dean’s reading a book by flashlight and Anna approaches him to thank him for all that they’ve done. He brushes her sentiment aside. She ponders the thought that she doesn’t deserve to be saved (AND I need to stop and talk about how this parallels Cas in Purgatory...he thanks Dean for everything, he believed he didn’t deserve to be saved. BLAF. And Dean and Anna are more canon than Dean and Cas? I think not.)

Dean lets slip that there’s something he deeply regrets as well, and Anna takes the opportunity to reveal that she knows what he did last summer - er, in Hell. He crumbles when she tells him to forgive himself. (Narrator voice: and then he spent ten more years failing to do exactly that.) 

“You are not alone,” she tells him and I remember why I like her (before a later plot twist scrubs her away). Anna MAKES A MOVE and kisses him. It IS their last night on Earth, after all. (I quietly eat the script pages for “Free to be you and me” while simultaneously high-fiving Anna for her excellent taste.) 

Cut to a montage of Impala sex which cuts out all the bits of sex in a car where you’re crammed in a corner awkwardly trying to get off your clothes without kicking the other person. Anna touches Castiel’s handprint, laying her own over the lines of his fingerprints. And I know that it was likely just a way to set up the Dean-is-connected-to-Heaven parallels in this brief shining moment when both boys actually had non-dead love interests at the same time. But MAN it sure cuts me open now. 

Ruby watches Sam sleep, then heads out to a crossroads. She burns her protective hex bag and Alistair appears. 

Ruby offers to give up Anna in return for her and the Winchesters’ safety. Alistair has another proposal…

Uriel greets Dean back in the barn. Dean looks confused for a moment before he realizes that Uriel has invaded his dream so they can have a little chat. Commander Cas isn’t around - “You see, he has this weakness. He likes you.” Uriel reveals that he has Anna’s grace. But nya nya nya he won’t give it back. 

We cut to Ruby, naked and strapped down as this show is wont to do with its demon women. Alistair tortures her with the demon knife. She refuses to tell him where Anna is...but she will show him.

Back in the barn during waking hours, Dean drinks his feelings until the doors burst open and Uriel and Castiel arrive.

Sam demands to know how the angels found them, and Castiel glances meaningfully at Dean. 

Anna realizes the deal that must have been brokered: herself in exchange for Sam’s safety. We experience many sad close-ups of Dean’s self-hatred and it HURTSSSS. Anna kisses Dean and assures him that he’s forgiven.

Anna’s ready to face the angels at last. Cas apologizes, but she brushes it aside. “You don’t know the feeling.” First of all, Anna, rude.

For This Town Ain’t Big Enough for the Both of Us Science:

Alistair shows up in the barn with his demon goons. The Winchesters, Anna, and Ruby skedaddle to the fringes of the barn, leaving the angels and demons to posture toxically at each other. 

Fisticuffs ensue! Alistair pins Cas, growling Latin at him until Dean whacks him in the head. Anna takes advantage of the fight to have her Ariel moment.

She orders everyone to close their eyes as her own fire consumes her. It blasts Alistair away, and Castiel gently pulls Uriel away as well. Everyone congratulates themselves for their excellent plan to pit the demons and angels against each other. 

Later, Sam and Dean recap their feelings at the Impala. 

For Rural Roads Science:

Dean brings up something Alistair said during the fight - that he “had promise.” I finally remember during this rewatch that Dean’s been denying what happened in Hell all along. Dean starts to talk. “It wasn’t four months,” he begins. “It was more like forty years. They sliced and carved and tore at me in ways that you-- Until there was nothing left. And then suddenly I would be whole again. Like magic. Alistair at the end of every day - every one - he would come over . He would make me an offer to take me off the rack if I put souls on. If I started to torture. And every day I told him to stick it where the sun shines. For thirty years, I told him. But then I couldn’t do it anymore, Sammy.”

“I got off that rack - god help me I got right off it - and I started ripping ‘em apart.” The weight of the torture he inflicted presses down on him. Sam tries to reassure him, but Dean continues to rip out our hearts and leave them cold and gathering refuse in the gutter. “How I feel? This inside me. I wish I couldn’t feel anything, Sammy. I wish I couldn’t feel a damn thing.”

Dean Quotechester Deserved Better:

Any chance I can dick over an angel, I'm taking it

What do they want me for? Why did they save me? 

Feelings are overrated, if you ask me

When you got Godzilla and Mothra on your ass, best to get out of their way and let them fight

I wish I couldn't feel anything, Sammy. I wish I couldn't feel a damn thing

 Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive!

[hwas-housewife]

Spooky Stargazing

childhood best friend!Chan x Reader (gender neutral)

Words: 1.5K words

Summary: Holidays just aren’t your thing. So Chan decides to skip out on parties to make your Halloween a little better.

Warnings: none

A/N: so holidays just feel more lonely as I get older and I thought of this while working on Halloween. Happy Halloween to those who celebrate, and I hope this gives comfort to those of you who feel a little alone this year.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ You laid back down in bed, a sigh escaping your lips.

Another Halloween and nothing to do. You spent your day perusing through the festive movies, occasionally settling on one and becoming tired of it by the halfway point. You’d then open up social media to look at everyone else dressing up in revealing outfits that barely pass as costumes. 

Costumes weren’t really your thing.

Well, Halloween in general really wasn’t your thing.

It’s not that you had anything against it, the holiday itself was rather cute. It’s just that Halloween hasn’t felt the same since you were young. You suppose that the magic of holidays just wore off once you became older.

So your face was stuck in a bit of a pout as you sighed yet again, looking for something to take your mind off your negative feelings.

Alcohol was always an option, but you weren’t much of a party type either. You could always ask you friends to hang out, however most of them already had plans for the night and none of which included entertaining you.

You decided upon rewatching a Halloween movie until you got bored once again. You panned through your options until you decided on one you’ve seen many times: the nightmare before Christmas. Maybe the Christmas elements would make you feel a bit better.

You tucked yourself further into your covers as you clicked play. The opening tune began to play as you grabbed a stuffed animal to cuddle into while watching. 

Only fifteen minutes in to the movie and you found yourself fighting off sleep despite the fact that it wasn’t even 10 pm yet. Your eyes went between closing for a few minutes back to watching the movie. That was until your phone buzzed in your hand.

You supposed it was probably just a notification for a game or one of your many shopping apps. But to your surprise, the name of your best friend flashed upon the screen. 

Why Chan was texting you when he should be out partying was a mystery to you.

You pushed yourself up into a sitting position on your bed while the movie continued to play in the background.

Chan: hey :)

You sent back a simple question mark, needing no further explanation as to why you were confused. 

Chan: Vernon decided to hit some parties without me. Wasn’t feeling it this year.

This came as a surprise to you seen as how two days ago he was telling you all about his fantastic costume idea. 

“A sexy panda?” you looked down to Chan incredulously. His head laid in your lap as he nodded fervently.

“Yes! I wear a panda head and then black pants and shoes,” he shot up in excitement.

“And what about the shirt?”

“That’s what makes it sexy, no shirt,” his arms moved eagerly as he smiled bright.

You shook your head in disbelief at him, “I’m not sold. You can’t just wear no shirt and claim that it’s now sexy, Chan. That’s not how it works.”

“But Vernon and Seungkwan told me it’s a great idea,” Chan whined out, a little quieter than before.

“And that’s because you chose to be friends with two idiots who want to see how stupid you would look in that costume,” you gave him a pointed look, quirking your brow in the process.

You blinked as your phone screen lit up with another text from Chan. 

Chan: you doing anything?

You smiled down at your phone, telling him you were bored out of your mind, and you need to be rescued ASAP. A few minutes later and Chan was on his way to pick you up and save you from your boredom.

When he sent you another text saying he was here, you were just finishing brushing your hair. You grabbed the last few of your things before throwing on some shoes and locking the door on your way out.

You impatiently waited for the elevator to hit your floor and make its way down to the lobby of your apartment complex. When the elevator finally dinged for the first floor, you fast-walked out of the building and beelined for your best friend’s car. 

A smile graced your face as you opened the door of his gray car, sitting down in the familiar passenger seat.

“Glad to see you’re not black out drunk yet,” you looked over at Chan as he sat in the driver’s seat.

He was dressed in something far from a Halloween costume, with sweats and a sweatshirt covering his body and his glasses framing his face. Mock hurt crossed his face as he moved some of his light brown hair (dyed, thanks to Soonyoung convincing him it was a good idea and you having to salvage the mess that was beginning to unfold).

“That was only freshman year of college, and you know it was because someone spiked the punch. It wasn’t my fault,” he began pulling out of the parking lot and driving to a random location.

“I’m sure it was that. Definitely not just your low tolerance and demand to make everything a competition,” your sarcastic words bounced off him like they always did.

“Shush. I thought picking you up would be fun, not an opportunity for you to bully me,” he glanced at you between words.

“Bullying you is a regular occurrence, you should be used to it after knowing me for years Lee Chan,” the teasing manner ever present in your words, “now where are you taking me? Or is it some undisclosed second location where you’re finally going to murder me on this Hallow’s eve?”

“Bold to assume I would leave an evidence trail so obvious if I were to do so. But no, we’re going out of town for a few hours. Figured there’d be less people there.”

“Now you’re trying to hard to sound like you’re planning on ending me. What’s the real plan for tonight?”

“I figured we could go stargazing. Tonight’s a full moon after all and I know you don’t really get to do this kind of thing very often,” he sincerely responded for the first time tonight.

A warm feeling circled in your stomach as you felt touched that he would think to do something like this for you. Sure, you’ve been friends for years. However you most often spend time cuddling and watching movies or playing too many video games with him and the rest of the boys. 

“That sounds rather nice actually. I’m looking forward to it,” you responded back just as sincere as he did to you.

The rest of the car ride was filled with the story of Vernon getting ready at his and Chan’s apartment--apparently he decided to go as a sexy hippie (not a huge surprise to you, his wardrobe fits that costume more than you would like to admit).

When Chan finally pulled off the side of the road and stopped the car, the two of you were quite literally in the middle of nowhere. Both ways the road went, you couldn’t see city lights. When you stepped out of the car, your eyes panned upwards at the night sky.

A gasp escaped your lips as you admired the tons of stars that you had trouble seeing in the city.

Your eyes remained fixated on the sky as Chan reached into the back of his car to grab a couple of blankets.

“Let’s go lay somewhere farther off the side of the road, you’ll be able to see them even better laying down,” Chan smiled across the car at you.

You nodded and proceeded to follow him, his phone flashlight being the only light source for miles. Once you and Chan laid the blankets down and were gazing back upon the sky, you let out a sigh. But for the first time today, a sigh of content.

Chan and you took turns pointing out constellations you both knew, and pondered over what other ones looked like if you didn’t recognize the collection of stars. Neither of you would claim to be experts, but the activity was fun nonetheless.

You kept your eyesight casted upwards as the two of you would drift in and out of conversation comfortably. You finally turned towards Chan, slight surprise filled your expression when your eyes locked with Chan’s, already fixed on you.

“Thank you Chan. For all of this,” you gestured to the blanket and the sky, “you don’t know how much I needed this.”

He merely smiled back at you and shook his head.

“Holidays aren’t really your thing. The least I could do is make sure my best friend has just a good of a time as I do.”

“As ravishing as you would look in that sexy panda costume, I’m happy you chose me over those parties you wanted to go to,” you smiled over at him.

“I would look good as a sexy panda, wouldn’t I?” he let out a slight laugh at your compliment.

You moved closer until your head rested on his shoulder and your arm wrapped around his torso. His arm naturally wrapped itself around your waist.

“I love you,” you muttered into his shoulder as you looked back up at the stars.

“Happy Halloween,” he left a brief kiss in your hair, staring up into the sky with you, “I love you too.”

[yuujishoodie]

In the Clouds

I have come out of a three year writing hiatus because I rewatched Teen Titans and now have Feelings. This Robstar one shot takes place after the titans return from Tokyo, and I just have a lot of emotions and thoughts on how little time these kids have to process things. While this is not my first fanfic, it is my first time writing a Robstar fanfic. My knowledge is based solely off the cartoon and I hope I captured Robin’s voice well enough. Please enjoy! 

Robin already knew where to look. A warm California breeze greeted him and ruffled his cape as he pushed the door open to the Titan Tower roof. The sun was setting, casting the sky in purple pink hues and reflecting off the water.

“Hey Star,” he said, walking over to the edge of the tower to join his…girlfriend? He was unsure still. At least, he knew what he wanted, wished for, secretly spent years dreaming about, and felt sheepish about while reigning in wondering thoughts in the training room during combat practice. Regardless, he offered his best friend a lopsided grin as he took his rightful place next to her.

“Robin!” Starfire responded, returning his smile. “We are quite lucky to have such great friends to through a surprise celebration in honor of our victory in Tokyo.”

The Teen Titans East and titans closer located to Jump City surprised them alright. Confetti, an assortment of pizza and tacos, and plenty of questions and requests for detailed accounts of the fight against Daizo welcomed the Teen Titans home. After making his rounds and fighting Speedy for the last slice of pizza, Robin left Best Boy and Cyborg correcting each other’s play by play of their victory against Daizo to Bumblebee and Jinx while Raven showed her new books to Aqualad.

“I’d still like to know how they dismantled our alarm system…” Robin pondered for a moment, before saying, “I’d bet my R Cycle on Mas y Menos.”

Starfire giggled in agreement. Robin fought the urge to tell one of Beast Boy’s knock knock jokes Star enjoyed so much just to hear her laugh again. “Do you think it is rude for us to sneak away from the festivities? I would hate to be a – what is the phrase – happiness murderer?”

“I think you mean kill joy,” Robin grinned again. “And they’ll understand, between all of us almost becoming the Brain’s frozen trophies and solving an ancient urban legend in Tokyo, they know we’ve been booked up.”

Starfire sighed. “That is quite true, and although I am joyous to see our titan friends, I think I am most looking forward to the nap.”

Robin silently agreed, yet he had so much work to do, starting with updating and vamping up some new communicators to prevent another sabotage, catching up with Bumblebee about crime while they had been gone, he also wanted to check in with his team about the future of the Teen Titans and –

“Please Robin, do tell me what is on your mind,” Starfire asked, placing a hand on his arm. Robin often wondered why he even bothered to wear a mask around her. Rays from the sunset brought out the soft orange glow of her skin, and her thick hair framed her face and fell into her cosmic eyes as she titled her head sideways in curiosity. She looked soft in this moment, like the tuffs of clouds dotting the horizon before them. Robin took a deep breath.

“I keep playing back how I almost jeopardized us and our team by giving that communicator to Madame Rouge. There were so many ways we could have been defeated, so many things that could have gone wrong…”

“But Beast Boy and the others rose to the challenge,” Starfire finished, gently squeezing his arm. “Because our friends are capable, and we are always training under the most wondrous leadership.”

Robin felt his face flush and used this other hand, the one untouched by Starfire, to dig a finger into his collar and loosen the neckline a bit. Despite consistently being in life threatening situations with Starfire, he still felt shy at times when she gave him attention or praise. Robin wasn’t used to compliments being so freely given, let alone how to properly respond to one coming from a person you admired.

Robin cleared his throat. “I am proud of them, for sure…but leading a team of five is different than collaborating with and tracking a global network of teenage superheroes.”

“I do share your concern,” Starfire frowned. Now it was Robin’s turn to tilt his head in confusion.

Starfire read his mind. “I realize that is not my typical response, or as Raven calls it, my ‘rainbows and sunshine’ attitude.” Starfire was silent for a beat. “When my home planet was invaded, I did not have the luxury to say goodbye or grieve for the loss of my family.” Robin felt a familiar sense of grief wash over him and he clenched his fist. He knew what she meant. Starfire continued, “But once I found you, Raven, Beast Boy, and Cyborg, my sadness was not so overwhelming. I hate to think of what would have happened had the Brain succeeded in his efforts to destroy us.”

The weight of his miscalculation of Madame Rouge rested heavy on his chest, except when the team had other priorities in Tokyo. Now that the team was “safe” again, the pressure was building in his mind and body. He slowly intertwined his fingers with Starfire’s.

“Do you want to visit Tamaran more? We can make it happen,” Robin offered. It wasn’t perfect, but it was the least he could do for now.

“Oh Robin. Your comfort is most appreciated, but I know where I belong now.” Starfire smiled and spoke with conviction. “And I am needed more here.”

“I can’t argue with that,” Robin said before he could stop himself, immediately feeling the blood rush to his cheeks. God, he felt like a dork. But it was worth it, because Starfire beamed at his response. He felt a surge of confidence looking into her eyes.

“There’s something else on my mind,” Robin started, moving his other hand to hold hers. “I wanted to talk about us.”

Starfire seemed taken aback at Robin’s shift in character. He knew it wasn’t his typical awkward, Boy Blunder response to the topic of them and how he felt. Which is why it was so important for him to tell her now before he lost his courage.

“Another thing I haven’t stopped thinking about is what I did and said to you on the billboard back in Tokyo –“

Starfire jumped in, “I know you feel badly, I’m ok Robin.”

“No, I need to tell you,” Robin persisted. “I came to Jump City looking to set out on my own, and then I became the leader of Teen Titans, of people my age. Friends. It wasn’t what I was expecting, and I wasn’t expecting you.”

It was Starfire’s turn to blush, and he adverted his eyes to star intently at their clasped hands. “We help people. We save lives. But I never want you to feel second place. I never want you to doubt my feelings for you again.”

Well, that was one weight lifted off his chest. He slowly peered up at Starfire, only to be met with a gaze so intense he thought he might fall off the tower.

“I think now is where we do the lip contact again,” she said, already breathless. She didn’t have to ask him twice. Robin’s heart fluttered in euphoria when his lips met hers. This was definitely not covered in any training sessions, but he knew practice made perfect. He traced her bottom lip with his tongue and gently placed his hand on the nape of her neck, his fingers inevitably tangling with her hair. She matched his pace and intensity as his head began to spin faster and faster. Starfire’s fingers spread against his chest before tugging the front of his uniform closer, turning her head to deepen the kiss.

Robin felt a lot of emotions in the past few months, but this…this made him giddy. Restless, young. He was swept into Starfire’s orbit the day he met her, giving into her gravitational pull. Eventually, and much to Robin’s dismay, they pulled away and rested their foreheads together.

“I like doing this for more than language learning comprehension,” Starfire said, slightly out of breath, beaming even brighter than before.

Elated yet still dazed, Robin mustered a weak, “Same.”

She giggled again and pulled away but still kept her hand in his.

“Robin, I do not know much of your Before Teen Titans life, but if there is one person who can handle the titans, I know it is you.”

Robin pulled her closer again. “Only if we do it together.”

Starfire leaned into his side and placed her head on his shoulder. In this moment, Robin felt weightless.  

[stormears]

Some Rando’s Quick Thoughts on TROS and the Sequel Trilogy and How Nothing Means Anything, Sad :/

(I’m highlighting the most important bits because this got too long like everything I ever say or write...)

So that movie was a big mess, right. I saw some spoilers beforehand but the whole product still took me by surprise. I had fun being there and seeing Star Wars be Star Wars but...it was so fast, so frantic, constantly informing me that my previous understandings of things didn’t mean shit. 

The movie felt like completing a task list and not completing a journey. Easily could have had some Resistance person find the Sith wayfinder by accident at the very start, not knowing its importance till a little while in, and cut the quest for the dagger entirely and save 30 minutes for other, better content. Rey spent most of her time ignoring her friends and single-mindedly chasing her past and whatever task was required. Poor Finn struggles to get her attention and interact with her and almost never does, so her final hug with him and Poe only barely registers as good friends being reunited or celebrating or whatever. Throwing Rose away, who literally kissed Finn, for random Stormtrooper lady, and not acknowledging that they’ve kissed, feels mean. Feels like he rejected her off-screen. Like the SW fandom rejected Kelly Marie Tran I guess. 

One of the things I most disliked was that Kylo Ren’s inner conflict and his wrathful personality are almost entirely gone. Excluding his one wonderful scene with his father, where he’s struggling and emotional and trying to stifle it, (Dad...I know...was SO GOOD THO) he is otherwise like a stoic anime cool guy who expresses almost nothing. Adam Driver has extreme talent to be able to put life into a character even when his part of the script was so barebones. I can’t fucking believe that in the whole final conflict with Palpatine he doesn’t say anything except “ow”??? Kylo Ren says “ow” and kisses Rey and dies without a word?? WHO WROTE THIS!!

Of course I hate Rey Palpatine. I was a big fan of Rey Nobody. I love the narrative conflict (and evenly matched physical conflict/FIGHT SCENES!!) between Rey who is from no lineage and no special place, and Kylo Ren who comes from privilege and prestige. I liked that Star Wars wasn’t 100% obsessed with dynasties and blood quantums this time, I liked that there was an effort to turn away from this ferocious lust for tradition and important family history. Rey’s skill wasn’t self-made but given to her by birth, it’s her BIRTHRIGHT, all she had to do to be powerful and beat Kylo Ren was sit on her ass because the requirements were in her DNA all along. Christ. Hate this. 

However, I am not the average Star Wars fan. For one thing, the average Star Wars fan is probably not also a tumblr user. Much less one who’s into shipping. So I don’t love this movie, but I’m not sure that most people will, either. It’s not a triumphant, fun quest like TFA or a ponderous spooky introspective thing like TLJ (which many people outside of tumblr viciously hate lol) but I think the average moviegoer can still tell it’s rushed and it’s a LOT and it just feels kinda...lesser, compared to the other 2. 

I wonder whose “fault” it really is? I’m not sure if it’s just JJ Abrams or other people we’ll never be aware of. I think TFA proves he can set the groundwork pretty well. He set REALLY good groundwork for his TV show Lost back in the day but it had a famously convoluted and dumb ending. Maybe this is the same, he’s good at basic ideas but can’t end his stories well. What an awful choice to include this guy in your movie trilogy that you are deliberately not planning out, so he can fully use his superpower of not knowing how tf to end it all. 

I’m sad the trilogy is over. I didn’t expect to get as invested in it as I did. I saw the original 6 films in high school and thought they were fine. I saw TFA on a whim a month after it came out and adored it. I saw it 4 or 5 more times. I loved these new characters and their potential and the unique circumstances that made Rey, Ren and Finn who they are. I loved the canon. I’m not used to being invested in canon and it then disappointing me. 

I’m sorry Kylo died unceremoniously, I’m sorry Rey left her friends and new home to seemingly live isolated in a desert which she didn���t exactly enjoy the first time around. I’m sorry Rose was thrown away like the majority of the series fanbase threw her away. I’m sorry Finn never got the chance to be powerful or important beyond his importance to Rey or Rose. I’m sorry Poe didn’t get to be in love with Finn like Oscar Isaac literally actually wanted his character to do. I didn’t like them shoving a hetero interest at him but it was neat that she never took off her mask and straight-up said “no thx” to potential romance anyway. 

I’m so damn sorry for Kylo Ren dying fucking unceremoniously after being the most interesting character these 3 movies had to offer...this whole movie is just unceremonious, isn’t it? Rush here, do this, get that, never sit down and think or talk, just fuckin go. And just fuckin get it over with. 

I’m glad the only thing all moviegoing audiences, fandom or no, shippers or no, casuals or no, can bond over is that we all loved Babu Frik. Otherwise, the movie was messy. And I don’t know of any other majority consensus beyond that. 

Sorry, Star Wars canon, I really loved you while you lasted for me. I’ll rewatch TFA and TLJ probably once a year at least. Time to move on to FanfictionLand. 

[dollsome-does-tumblr]

i’ve been pondering this while rewatching the first season, and i think that, in the exceedingly unlikely event that there is ever any more arrested development, they should do it like this:

just make, like, a one-hour special (or maybe 90 minutes) rather than trying to tackle a whole new season. the whole cast will be required to be present for said one-hour special, but again, it’s only one hour (or maybe 90 minutes). i mean, i know it won’t take them one hour to make -- probably?? -- but surely that’s got to cut down the commitment time.

make it a bottle episode where all the family members get REAL, like some kind of absurd play. it is entirely dialogue and relationship driven, with not a single complicated outside plot to wrap up.

premise: george sr. died (sorry not sorry) and they are all getting ready for his funeral, but some sort of obstacle prevents them from leaving on time or something, so they’re all just stuck in their black outfits in either the penthouse or the model home, and everyone’s very on edge because it’s an emotionally complicated day. if this is sounding a little gilmore girls: a year in the life, well, gilmore girls and AD are the two famous shows that netflix revived, so i think there’s room for some meta jokes here.

in energy, this ep is like that episode of community where they all stay in the study room, descending into emotional madness, because annie lost her pen and thinks one of the study group members stole it.

it is just, like, bluths bickering with savage intensity, and sometimes veering into profound sweetness or severe emotional vulnerability, while -- and i am very attached to this part -- sitting on sofas just, like, really lazily and ineffectively. maybe there IS a carbon monoxide leak in there.

it’s divided into little acts where each family member gets generally roasted for their most central foibles and insecurities, and maybe there are little cutaways to other things that character has been up to, but nothing too logistically tricky to film.

(MICHAEL IS ALWAYS TRYING TO SAVE EVERYONE BUT REALLY, IT’S BECAUSE HIS ONLY SENSE OF PURPOSE COMES FROM FEELING SUPERIOR TO HIS FAMILY! LUCILLE IS AN ICE COLD, EMOTIONALLY MANIPULATIVE MONSTER! BUSTER KILLED A LADY! GOB IS A HUMAN DISASTER [AND WE ALL KNOW YOU’RE DATING TONY WONDER, STOP ACTING LIKE YOU’RE SUCCEEDING AT KEEPING IT SECRET; IT’S NOT SECRET]! LINDSAY’S SPENT HER WHOLE ADULT LIFE SELFISHLY SEARCHING FOR FULFILLMENT AND NEVER FINDING IT AND ALL SHE’S MANAGED TO DO IS NEGLECT HER FAMILY AND SHE’LL NEVER GET THOSE YEARS BACK! TOBIAS WILL NEVER BECOME AN ACTOR, AND HAS TO BE AT LEAST A LITTLE GAY, RIGHT?? TOBIAS AND LINDSAY HAVE BEEN TERRIBLE PARENTS! MAEBY MIGHT BE A GENIUS SOCIOPATH! GEORGE MICHAEL AND MAEBY ARE DATING EVEN THOUGH THEY ARE .... WHATEVER THE VERSION OF COUSINS IS NOW THAT WE KNOW LINDSAY IS LUCILLE’S SISTER, NOT DAUGHTER???? = just a few of the fun topics for the family to really sink their teeth into.)

(“what will people think about this family now, buddy??” michael asks in dismay re: les cousins dangereux. “what were people ... thinking already?” george michael says delicately.)

actually, now that i think about it, what i am basically envisioning is the final sequence in gilmore girls episode “friday night’s all right for fighting.” and frankly, now that i’ve had that epiphany, i feel even more strongly that this is right for The Final Arrested Development. (rory even brings up the perils of not leaving a note! coincideeeeeence??)

at the end of said episode they all reach a kind of emotional catharsis, and are actually there for each other and ready to do this hard thing together of attending george sr.’s funeral. maybe oscar shows up to go with them to the funeral at the very end, but that’s all i’m giving you, tambor.

AND OF COURSE tony wonder shows up for five seconds at the end to go with gob to the funeral so there’s a dash o’ blunder. “you know how it’s custom for your business-slash-magic rival to attend your father’s funeral with you,” says gob blusteringly. “we all know you’re dating, gob,” michael says. “you just officially came out to us very loudly after like 45 minutes of yelling. you did that dance--” “oh, right,” says gob. “habit. ATTENTION, FAMILY: tony wonder ... is my boyfriend.” tony strikes a dazzling magician pose. “WE KNOW,” yells everyone.)

and the final shot can be the penthouse -- or model home -- door closing behind them, probably after michael and george michael walk out together and have some nice little exchange about family, or breakfast.

bam! the end!

[littlemisssquiggles]

RWBY Remarks: A Squiggle Meister’s Blunt Ramblings after RWBY V6 C8

I know some folks were disappointed with Ruby for not checking in on Oscar after what happened with Jaune. I know I was when I first saw it. However then I got to pondering. What if…she did but it wasn’t shown to the audience on-screen.

You ever considered that perhaps there’s a missing scene before Ruby tried to contact Qrow where the Silver Eyed Girl possibly reached out to comfort Oscar but he was so emotionally distraught following his confrontation with Jaune that he didn’t even wish to accept Ruby’s comfort, let alone her company.

Picture there being a scene before the shot of Ruby going out on the back porch trying to call Qrow. What if…after Yang, Weiss and Blake had left to go get food for everyone, Ruby saw Oscar huddled together in the living room by himself and tried to reach out to him. But Oscar was so upset that he just does acts withdrawn and asks Ruby for some space, which she sadly had no choice but to give him.

Or perhaps Oscar had retired to whatever room he was occupying in the Cotta-Arc residence and Ruby tried to go in to talk to him but Oscar pretty much shut himself in. Even when Ruby tried to reach out and ask him to let her in so they can talk or…I don't know even go somewhere and talk alone, Oscar didn’t let her in. He didn’t even answer her. He just remained silent even if he was on the other side of the door.

Kinda like Elsa and Anna from Frozen where Anna sought out her sister following their parent’s deaths and even though Anna reached out to Elsa, she still chose to seclude herself.

Picture…Ruby standing on one side of the door asking Oscar to let her in for them to talk but when Oscar refuses, Ruby just takes it as him probably needing his space as Blake said to everyone. And rather than push the issue and risk making the farm boy feel more uncomfortable, Ruby decides to leave Oscar alone, informing him that she was going downstairs to try Qrow again while promising to come back later to see if he’ll want to probably talk to her then. Just the two of them.

Ruby then leaves and we get the moment here of her going out the back.

It’s a shame we didn’t get Ruby telling Maria that she checked in on Oscar. One thing I’ve been curious about with C8 is if by chance Oscar overheard Ruby talking to Maria that she isn’t sure if she can trust Oz if he returned. I’m curious if that might have also contributed to Oscar leaving.

Another thing worth noting is that, as much as I would love for Ruby to have comforted Oscar in that moment, I have to remember that Ruby’s got her own fair share of problems to deal with. Ruby is basically carrying this team forward on her own in a sense. 

Oz Superman’d himself into the Void of Obscurity. Qrow practically bailed. JNR is pissed at the news and as Ruby honestly told Maria, she doesn’t have the slightest clue on what to tell them to lift their spirits and give them some assurance. I actually feel sorry for Ruby. Next to Oscar, she is the second youngest member on the hero team yet everyone is looking to her for answers. She’s so young yet has to take on so much at the same time.

This is why I appreciate Maria’s blunt honestly in admit how much Ruby takes herself too much for granted. Not just her but everyone on the team. Ruby may be a leader but at the end of the day, she’s also a child herself. How much can she guide the other and take on before she pops? It’s like watching a sea saw. Ruby’s problems and how much pressure she must feel trying to sort everything out is only building.

It is for this reason why I’m giving Ruby a pass with Oscar. I’m saddened she didn’t go comfort him but at the same time the little rose got 99 problems on her mind that it’s unfortunately her little buddy pinecone is the one to slip through the cracks of her immediate attention

I don’t want to assume that just because Ruby didn’t check in with Oscar then that automatically means she doesn’t care about him. Truth is guys, sometimes when you’re dealing with your own stuff, you might fail to acknowledge another’s problems even if it’s directly in front of you plain as day.

It absolutely sucks that Ruby didn’t go to console Oscar afterwards (at least on screen anyways) but at the same time…I can’t be all too mad at Ruby because, like I said, she’s got a lot on her plate right now. And that’s something that even Oscar noticed too. Oscar noticed Ruby’s distress which is why he reached out to help. The unfortunate thing is that it failed and blew up in his face instead.

You know what’s weird that I noticed. Ever since what Qrow said in C4, we haven’t seen Ruby comforting Oscar or coming to his defence. I mean sure she yelled to stop Jaune from roughing up Oscar anymore but…she didn’t…try and intervene either.

This is weird because…the last time it looked like the group were going to antagonize Oscar because of Ozpin, Ruby was right on the money and intervened before it happened. Here…she just stood there are Jaune strong armed Oscar. Again, I give Ruby a pass but come on! You mean to tell me that everyone noticed Jaune advancing towards Oscar and no one thought to…I dunno…pull Jaune immediately off the kid! I mean, at least Weiss tried to stop Jaune but….seriously?

The more I rewatch that scene from C8, the more I hate it so much because, I’m sorry, if I were a RWBY character as part of the hero squad, the minute I saw Jaune making the slightest movement toward Oscar in an aggressive manner, I would have stepped right in between Jaune and Oscar to stop what was about to happen. 

Even if I had to wrestle Jaune to the floor to stop him from laying a finger on Oscar, I would do it. Shit I might even break Jaune’s fingers if he dared touch Oscar. Shit I would probably tasted Jaune’s blood cause I sure as hell might have bitten his ass if he tried to hurt Oscar. 

Shoot, I might have even grabbed somebody’s weapon and hold it to back of Jaune’s head threatening to blow him to smithereens if he didn’t back up from Oscar. There are so many things I would’ve done in this moment if I were in this position as a RWBY Character but the bottomline is I would have done something to protect Oscar because, if it were me, my instinct would be to stop this: 

There is no lie about it. It was unfair how the group treated Oscar in V6 C8 which is a coincidence because this feeling is exactly how I felt back in C4 with Ozpin…wait...

Wait a minute.

Oooh. I see what you did there CRWBY. They literally recreated the same kind of unfair moment with Oscar. The only difference is that while Oz had Oscar’s mind to retreat to, Oscar straight up left and now…where is he? Where would he go?

My guess is the Great Wall of Argus but only after finding the nearest CCT in Argus to call home. I really want to see Oscar calling his Auntie Pine because right now, she’s all he got left.

I mean, Oscar can try to talk to Oz but…well…I dunno, I really want to see Oscar make contact with his aunt. Maybe he goes somewhere to clear his head enough to go into his mind but Oz but fails. The CRWBY gave us Professor Ozpin fully rendered in the current style. I doubt they’d do that if they weren’t going to touch base on Oscar talking to Oz.

Either Oscar goes into his inner mind to drag Professor Ozpin back so that he can fix everything or perhaps Oscar’s insecurities and anxiety will manifest itself in the form of Ozpin’s just to taunt him.

Nah. I like the idea of Oscar going into his mind to get Ozpin back but…I’ll only accept Oscar deciding to do that after talking with his Auntie Pine. Let Oscar talk to his family please.

Maybe Auntie Pine gives Oscar the courage and assurance he needs to try and do what’s right. Maybe after a call with his aunt, Oscar goes up to the Wall of Argus, not to jump, but to meditate and put himself in a frame of mental tranquillity to go in after Oz. Something like that. I dunno.

This is why I want C9 to more focus on the group reflecting on the way they’ve treated Oscar while looking back at memories they shared with him. I want C9 to be the ‘What I’ve Done’ type of episode so that by the end of it, the group will come to the conclusion that they all f***ed up and have all been jerks to both Oscar and Ozpin.

I’m still tapping my foot waiting for someone---anyone on the QROWMBY to see the bigger picture. Forget the fact that Salem can’t be killed. That’s not important. Salem may be invincible but last time I checked, Salem isn’t doing all of this herself. Just as how Oz has his forces fighting for the greater good of humanity, Salem has her own pawns to do her bidding through. And unlike Oz who has spent countless of years fighting and helping to shape humanity into a time of peace and prosperity, Salem has worked to destroy all that without the slightest care for who she uses.

At least Oz cared about the people whose help he enlisted---so much so that he made sure it was their choice and nothing else. But Salem doesn’t give a shit about who she uses. Everyone and everything is expendable to her. That being said, the bigger picture isn’t killing Salem. It’s stopping her from getting her way. It’s stopping her from getting her Grimm-y hands on those Four Relics and summoning the destruction of Remnant.

The last time Salem got her way, it came at the expense of all of mankind. If Salem gets her way again, this time the whole planet will pay and in the end, she’ll still be alive to see its destruction.

Which now that I think about it, Salem’s plan is kind of dumb. I mean, if she summons the Gods and they nuke Remnant, even if Salem survives, where is she going to go? What is she gonna do? Float around space like Katy Perry in ET? Without a world to rule, she’ll have nowhere. Then again, this is why Salem wants Remnant destroyed in the first place.

The Gods did say that so long as Remnant turns, Salem will walk among it. They did say that. That’s why Salem wants the world destroyed. Salem sees the only way for her to be set free is to destroy the world. If Remnant is gone then Salem can finally die. But once again, this is about what Salem wants. She doesn’t care about anyone else but herself. She didn’t care for those magi she manipulated into helping her take down the Gods in First Remnant and even after all these years, she still only looks out for herself.

All the more reason to stop her from getting what she wants.

The heroes want to know how they can win this without killing Salem? Honestly, by saying f*** Salem and her immortality. The heroes want a plan? I’ll give them the plan. The proclaimed plan should be to stop Salem from getting all Four Relics.

If Salem gets the Relics then everyone is screwed. Not even Ozma’s reincarnation can save his ass from a planetary destruction.

The heroes wanna know what to do next? Stop bickering amongst themselves. Stop blaming Ozpin and Oscar because newsflash, they’re victims in this too. You already got one Relic intact. That’s good. Here’s a cookie. Now make sure the other 3 don’t get snatched!

Forget Salem. Keep the Relics out of her hands. Make sure she doesn’t get them first you dingdongs!

Seriously, while the group have been griping in Argus, Salem and her forces are well on their way to go after the remaining Relics. There’s even a mention that one of the members---Tyrian is heading to stop the group from taking the Relic of Knowledge to Atlas.

The villains have their shit together.  Now the heroes need to get themselves back on track as well. Protect the Relics. They’re the only thing keeping Salem from bringing about the literal end of the world.

I am still waiting on someone on the team with the slightest lick of sense to see that but I guess we gotta wait.

Anyways, I’ve rambled enough. That’s all I gotta say.

~LittleMissSquiggles (2018)

[flyonmylovee]

A Long, Long Post on Kyousei

A day and one rewatch after Tri 5 premiered, I have to say that I’m one happy fan. I know those sentiments aren’t shared by everyone, but I’m really digging Tri thus far. I wrote out some thoughts about Shoushitsu here and would like to make a similar post for Kyousei. 

I’d like to tell a quick story to start this off. Over the summer, on a whirlwind trip to Europe that had me buying tickets for upcoming legs of my travels after landing in my first foreign country, I got a crest of courage tattoo. My host in Barcelona poured me a glass of sangria, set me up in her living room, and had her buddy, an up-and-coming tattoo artist, give me the tattoo in exchange for a spot on my futon when he travels to Washington, D.C. 

“Why do you want this design? What does it mean?”

I took a sip of sangria to try and suppress my nerves. “Uh, courage. It means a lot to me.”

He nodded, and a half hour later I had a digimon tattoo on my foot. 

In the midst of all this, though, we had a discussion about the risks of getting a tattoo inspired by an ongoing show. God forbid the meaning changes, I should be sure I’d be happy with it anyways. 

I’m sat at my kitchen table right now with my feet kicked up on the chair across from me. My tattoo is staring back at me like it knows our favorite protagonist is dangling in cartoon-character limbo. 

“You idiot” Yamato mumbled in that moment, gripping Taichi’s goggles.

“You idiot!” I yelled at my computer, instantly thinking back to my conversation in Barcelona. 

Perhaps I should have waited. For a split second, I found myself conflicted. Waiting would have probably been smart- the tattoo artist I worked with had plenty of examples of meanings gone amiss- logos of shows that dropped off after a few seasons, symbols of superheroes gone bad, lyrics from artists who turned out to be closet bigots. Back in Barcelona, the tattoo artist passed on his ‘wisdom’ but ultimately, he told me to go with my gut. If I wanted the tattoo, I wanted it, and that was all that mattered. 

I know getting a tattoo might not be a huge decision for everyone, but I was really nervous to make the call. My “gut” has always been a problem. I’m a pretty anxious person, and I’m proud to say that very recently, I’ve conquered it. I went through with the tattoo. I was fucking ecstatic about it. I still am.

The crest of courage means so much to me. 

Yet here we are- in the exact situation my tattoo artist warned me of. Taichi is obviously coming back, but what’s to make of how he does it? What if the sixth movie is a huge disappointment? Would it be possible to look down at my tattoo when I need a reminder of my courage and not get the same motivation I feel from it now?

I don’t know. I guess what I’m trying to say, though, is that I don’t have any regrets. Tri has meant so much to me so far. I’ve loved it, for better and for worse. I love digimon’s commitment to creating new stories. I love the thought put into callbacks. I love Meiko. I love Daigo. I love that the worst snippets of animation may still be better than an average clip of adventure, and tbh, I laugh about it. 

Maybe my expectations were too low. I purposefully kept them that way when this all started. I spent 15 years sure that we’d never see these kids again, the ones we spent our afternoons with after elementary school let out- yet here they are. Tri has blown me away simply because it exists, and to me, the effort is there. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I have no fears about the meaning of my tattoo changing. I have faith in this. I have reasons to have faith in this, and fuck, tattoos on my body are not things I take lightly. 

So, that’s the context I headed into Kyousei with. I really believe Tri 6 will pull through, and if it does, this is all going to be incredible. Tri spoilers below the cut.

For some reason, it was jarring to be reminded that Kyousei picks up right where Shoushitsu left off. The start of the movie worked perfectly for me. You’re dropped right back into the walking terror that is DarkGennai, Sora’s recently overcome trauma (please, someone give her a hug), and Meiko nearly dying. The mature tone is set once again. Just like it’s audience, the show has aged, as have the characters. 

There were two overarching themes in Kyousei for me: grappling with what it means to be “chosen” and realizing that the world is a complex and often, a disappointing place. Taichi makes a point of saying that there are things you see as kids, and there’s things you see as an adult. He’s not sure which he’s supposed to see. Later, he’s not sure who the enemy is. 

“Who are we fighting?!” he yells out, seemingly in harmony with the groans of frustration from a fandom left with many unanswered questions. One criticism of Tri is that there’s too much missing information, but to me, that’s turning out to be a key theme of the show. I think a point is being made here- perhaps in childhood, one has the luxury of having clear-cut adventures. Morality is a decision. You are right or you are wrong, and if you are wrong, we have to defeat you. 

Morality in Tri resembles the morality your eyes are opened to as you age. It is a spectrum of different choices, different friends, different enemies. Your enemies aren’t always clearcut and sometimes, you don’t even know why you’re fighting. 

I can’t think of a better way to “age up” the kids than by putting them in this sort of situation. I appreciate the realism of it all. It may not seem like a classic “adventure”, but I do believe if we were given a classic “adventure”, it would have felt rather stale. It is clear that Tri committed to something new, as digimon is prone to do, and their means to an end is Meiko Mochizuki. 

I’d like to make the case that, whether you like Meiko or not, her focus in Tri shouldn’t be as shocking as it feels. We are constantly introduced to new characters that project the story forward. In adventure, it was Hikari. In 02, we witnessed Ken transform and enter the main group. In Hurricane Touchdown, Wallace took center stage. I think Meiko seems especially jarring because these characters have been missed for 15 years and we’d like to get to know them again, whereas the introduction of other characters was rather sudden. While Meiko may not be appreciated, I don’t buy that Tri would be better without her, especially when you acknowledge the character development that takes place parallel to her story. 

We see a flashback from Fall 1999 which now, knowing Meicoomon contains a shard of Apocalymon, makes sense. Meiko’s dad meets with researchers from Tokyo (Maki, I’m assuming? It’s interesting to think she’s been in touch with the family all this time). 

Jumping back to the present day, the world “is falling apart”. Maki’s motivations become clear. “This time... I will be chosen.” Her uh, unrealistic expectation of saving the world with Tapirmon helps me understand why she may have started working with DarkGennai in the first place. Maki gets a “redo” of her traumatic flashback from Shoushitsu, and DarkGennai knows sparking this sort of apocalypse will end in ruin. I do wonder how long Maki’s been aligned with DarkGennai- did she have anything to do with the shard of Apocalymon? Did she need to play a role in Meicoomon’s birth? Either way, Maki is the hero of her own story- I wonder what means she’ll continue going through to be “chosen”.

The meaning of being “chosen” is explored further with Daigo and Mr. Mochizuki. I found this scene really interesting:

If you replace “Yagami” with “Maki” and “them” with “us”, it makes a lot of sense and showcases how traumatic that final battle was for Daigo’s crew. While he is definitely concerned for Taichi and the other kids, his concerns stem from his own experiences, and I wonder how much of his good-natured persona comes from him not wanting the kids to experience what he and Maki did. His natural niceness faded throughout this movie (although to be fair, it sounds like Daigo just lowkey lost his job lmao- “But we’ve been protecting them all this time!”) and his intentions were still A+, but it seemed like Daigo became comfortable using a bit more aggression as the situation grew more dire (i.e. talking some serious smack to the cops). I’m starting to think that Daigo’s repressed a lot of shit too, but was probabblyyy better at dealing with it than Maki was. 

But, that’s fair. The world (almost?) met it’s end on his watch. The love of his life is losing it (and as we’ve learned, he blames himself). Lots of foreshadowing here, lots of questions swirling about what it means to be chosen, so...

On being chosen: I SO enjoyed the conversation in the cave! First and foremost- Sora! In my post on Shoushitsu I voiced my concerns about whether Sora’s character had actually developed. To me, it didn’t seem like she grew. Her issue with Piyomon was temporarily solved but I made the case that if the reboot happened all over again, Sora wouldn’t be able to handle it any better. I was pleased to see everything come full circle in Kyousei. Sora admitted, in front of EVERYONE, that she has a tendency to close herself off, that she’s LONELY, and that she knows what it’s like to have a THORN in her HEART. Piyomon was sleeping while all this went on, but I’m proud enough for both of us. 

I also particularly liked the tidbits from Yamato. It was a nice callback to his cave scenes in adventure, and it’s a small reminder that these kids are developing in ways that aren’t always obvious in the overarching plot:

Takeru seems to instantly get what he’s saying, and the kids continue with their conversation of how they cope with being “chosen” and how they attempt to be good partners. Mimi straight up says that she balances Palmon out, and Sora ponders if that’s what it means to be a partner in the first place. Throughout all this, and throughout the movie, we see Meiko dealing with crippling sadness due to ‘being a bad partner’. I know some folks think it’s overdone and shouldn’t be as much of a focus, but I get the feeling this depression is supposed to be that obvious. Given Maki’s motivations and connections to the Mochizuki family, I wonder if Maki has been gaslighting Meiko, in a sense. I’d bet Maki is incredibly envious of anyone chosen, and if Meiko has a particular responsibility, or if Maki believes Meiko shouldn’t have been chosen, she’s probably primed her over years to be doubtful of her capabilities. 

While everyone knows Meicoomon is to blame for the infections, etc, Maki was the first one to openly admit it, and she did it so dryly. I don’t know. It always stuck out to me. I don’t trust Maki as far as I could throw her, and I’m not very strong. I wouldn’t be surprised if the extent of Maki’s cruelty is revealed in Tri 6 and that the focus on Meiko’s depression serves a purpose. It’s dark, but this is Tri, and we’re all adults now thank you very much, Toei, I get it. 

I’d like to make a case for Meiko’s sadness. I know the fandom is split on whether it’s too much of a focus or not, but I really think it’s necessary. When you go back and watch scenes from past movies after learning new information, everything is so purposeful. After learning that Meiko is meant to be Meicoomon’s balance, it becomes VERY obvious why Meiko was so hesitant and overly-apologetic in the past. You suddenly realize that every time Meiko apologizes for Meicoomon’s destruction, every time she bursts out crying, each day she skipped school after watching Leomon die, it’s because she genuinely believes the death, destruction, and trauma is due to her failure as the Libra’s balance. When Takeru told her Patamon was infected, she freaked because in her mind, it was her fault. I don’t think Meiko’s depression is overdone because it’s realistic. Can you imagine how much pressure she must have been under? From her father? From Maki? She could never fail. What if she got sick? Heck, what if she died? Who would control Meicoomon? That’s so fucked up. SO fucked up. And if her father is being truthful in Kyousei when he seems to just realize how much pressure his daughter is under, it leads you to wonder how Meiko came to understand she was responsible for containing Meicoomon’s powers. My money’s on Maki, and I’d bet a million dollars Maki was manipulative as fuuuuck. Since past movies have given us so many hints about what’s to come in the next installment, Meiko’s sadness leads me to believe we’ll learn the extent of what Maki’s done with the Mochizuki family all these years. What did her gaslighting ential? Why did she help them move to Tokyo? HOW DID HER HANDS “FALL INTO DARKNESS”? Put a pin in that last bit, because I’m gonna come back to it.

So, anyways, Daigo serves as a nice parallel to Taichi, and even Yamato, and I think Maki is meant to showcase a potential future for Meiko and Hikari. Meiko’s potential is obvious- a lost partner, a chosen being unchosen, the list goes on. At some point, though, DarkGennai mentions how those who are the most compassionate or fragile (or something along those lines) are the easiest to break and control. He’s referencing Hikari when he says it, but I wonder if he thought the same thing about Maki at some point. As Homeostasis can speak through them both, I think the similarities are there. 

And the similarities continue for Tailmon and Meicoomon! I’ve discussed the importance of their similarities before, but while watching Tri 5, I noticed some similarities to episode 34 of adventure which seem especially relevant now that we’ve seen hints of Wizarmon on the Tri 6 poster:

If you remember episode 34, or if you’re like me and needed to recently find a terrible streaming site to rewatch it on, you’ll know that Wizarmon is incredibly lonely when he meets Tailmon, that he has a heart of stone from being lonely, and is convinced that he’s going to die from it. Tailmon saved him, and Hikari saved Tailmon. Back in the cave in present times:

(Mr. Mochizuki references Meicoomon’s loneliness when his daughter wasn’t around, and Meiko’s been separated from her partner an awful lot recently. Hackmon talks about how Meicoomon was isolated and feared due to it’s power.)

And then Hikari jumps in all too knowingly...

Interestingly, Wikimon has Meicrackmon VM’s card translated as follows:

And wow, what a Fan Moment™ it would be for Wizarmon to swoop in and fix all of this (which hopefully he doesn’t literally do because THERE’S NO TIME LOL). In all seriousness, though, the meaning of being chosen, of being a partner, will definitely be a huge theme in Tri 6 and I’m excited to see what happens. I’m also wondering if anything will come of Maki’s cold heart- I believe Daigo described it that way in one of the prior movies?

Anyways, let me reel this back in for a second to discuss more briefly some smaller things I appreciated in Tri 5 before jumping in to the conclusion of it all:

The mature tone: I touched on this before, but a part of the movie that stood out to me was Mrs. Yagami’s naivety about her children’s success. She briefly displays some worry, decides Taichi + Hikari will be okay, and starts making them a ton of food. I’m sure half of his is denial, but I also think this scene wouldn’t have been second-guessed in adventure. Of course the kids are going to be fine because the heroes always win. Now though, Mrs. Yagami’s hope seems out of place. This is highlighted further when Taichi talks to her on the phone. Mrs. Yagami lightheartedly states that it’s been a long time since Taichi’s had a summer filled with so much excitement. When she said this, I instantly thought about how Taichi must have been reeling for adventure after returning home from the digital world. I’ve always imagined him sitting in class, staring out the window, daydreaming about what Agumon must be up to in the next world over. I was kind of shocked when his response was “What are you talking about?” This isn’t an adventure to Taichi anymore. It was always serious, but the innocence of childhood is long gone. 

The attention to details: I need to respectfully disagree with the assertion that Tri is lacking details. I’ve found it to be full of callbacks, if you’re looking for them, and I think it’s taking the time to highlight little things it doesn’t necessarially have to show us. One example of this is the Ishida-Takaishi family dynamic. To me, it was unclear whether Yamato’s dad even answered the phone, and Yamato outright denies the chance to speak with his mother. When I was wondering what the chosen children were up to in the years before Tri, these were the sorts of details I was wondering about. The fact that Tri took the time for this scene, amongst others, is what gives me hope about the sixth movie actually being able to wrap things up. 

I also appreciate the details that don’t necessarily involve callbacks. Very pleased about the fanfiction fodder that is Yamato being terrified of ghost stories, and Takeru totally willing to throw him under the bus about it. Uh, I also noticed how unnervingly quick Takeru was to whip up an excuse for the police. He seemed, er, a little too calm when running away.

The Sorami: I mean, did you think I’d make a post about this movie and not mention the Sorami? I APPRECIATE THEM SO MUCH LOL. IT HAS TO BE CANON, RIGHT? They were literally sleeping holding hands. I can’t. I digress...

The cramming of everyone digivolving into one single screen: THANK YOU.

Whew. This is getting long, but this brings me what I really want to talk about: The ending. 

So, the second half of Kyousei is a lot. I may or may not have cried twice. Oh, and, surprise! There’s the dark ocean. I really didn’t mind Taichi & Meiko’s conversation but I also don’t really have much to add about it besides what I discussed before. I definitely noted that Meiko interprets “you shouldn’t have been born” to include both her and Meicoomon, and I’m not surprised Taichi snapped at her. I would also like to note that Meiko & Agumon’s conversation (was super cute) was kinda revealing. Meiko envies Taichi, along with everyone else. She apologizes for scaring everyone early, Agumon says he wasn’t scared, and Meiko flashes back to a bunch of moments in which Meicoomon was scared. That... didn’t sit right with me. I do believe that Meiko yearns for a more typical partnership with Meicoomon, but yet again we have an instance of Meiko seemingly toying with the idea of giving it all up. 

On Yamato: WOW! Okay, so, my absolutely favorite part of the movie is when Meiko asks the chosen children to kill Meicoomon. Yamato’s been pushing Taichi to stop hesitating, to stand with his friends, to do what’s right. After sprinting into the digital world monologueing about the importance of protecting friends, much to Yamato’s satisfaction (...i presume), he makes the decision that Meiko is right and that they should, indeed, kill off her partner. Not only is this in obvious contract with Yamato’s crest, but it’s got to be fucking infuriating to watch your closest ally step up to the plate just in time to kill off someone the chosen have spent a lot of time protecting. I understand Yamato as the type of character to keep his grievances private. He’ll shoot you a glare from across the room and fight back if you’ve hit his temper, but I don’t think he’s the type to let other people see his anger make him weak. This... I think this was Yamato’s low point, and he aired it out in front of fucking e v e r y b o d y. After grabbing Taichi by the collar and pushing him away, Yamato just stands there and screams. I can’t think of a time he’s ever done something like that. He is SO internally conflicted, and frustrated, and sad, and dare I say... lonely? You SAW how sad he was (he blushed!) when confronting Taichi about Omegamon breaking up early. I think this is foreshadowing a major plotline for the final movie. After all, Yamato hasn’t truly had a solo-arc yet. 

On Hikari: Hikari’s another one who will be front and center in the sixth movie. Her arc is definitely not over, and I’m excited for the potential of her plotline intersecting with Yamato’s. I’m reminded of the Vamdemon arc from Adventure and how horribly awkward it was for Yamato to take care of Taichi’s little sister. I hope we see that sorta tension again. And listen, I truly understand everyone’s frustration with Hikari not being the main focus of her movie. I do think it’s a bit problematic that we base our expectations on who shows up on the next poster, but I understand. I do. It sucks. I would have been mad if this was Sora, yet while I understand, I’m not particularly bothered. It’s obvious that Hikari will play a huge role in the final movie. Also, if you can imagine me holding a giant flashing arrow and pointing it towards 02, that’s exactly what I’m doing right now. All you Hikari fans got like, a season and a half and two movies where Hikari played a major role. There’s also the potential that if Tri goes on to Tri 02 (please, hear my prayers, amen), she’ll also play a huge role. I do think that we’ll learn more about older Hikari as Tri finishes up, so this is where I’m at right now. I’m fine spending more time with some of the other kids. I’m fine watching them interact with a new character. Not everyone has to agree with me, like please, be mad about it if that’s how you feel! This is just my two cents. 

On Taichi: You selfless, stupid idiot. Youuu infuriating contradictory little shit. You in all of your poorly-timed nobleness pulled a Jack-from-Titanic and let yourself die when Omegamon could have TOTALLY swooped on over to you and picked you and Daigo up. THERE WAS ROOM FOR EVERYONE UNDER HIS ARMS. Dammit, Taichi. You just killed your sister, broke Sora’s heart, and jump-started Yamato’s looming mid-life crisis all in one go, and beyond the fourth wall, we all know you’re kicking around underground with Daigo having a heart-to-heart about what the morality of adulthood entails, every once in awhile stopping to say “shit, we should probably try and get back up there, right?”

Okay, okay, I’m being unreasonable. I really do love the angst. Taichi falling into a very cartoon-y certain non-death makes me wonder, though, if he had a sense something like this was coming. Once again, the focus on his hesitation and reflectiveness seems purposeful. It reminds me of the way people might act before they die. What am I here for? What can I do? What’s the purpose of it all? It makes sense that he’s stuck with Daigo, as I think he’s been asking himself the very same questions. His easy-going nature conflicts with his role and remembering how got all serious with the police and so on... it seemed unnatural for him (although I was here for it tbh, hey Daigo). Perhaps he’s also still stuck in this kid-adult limbo. ANYWAYS-

In my Loss review, I discussed how it’s actually fairly common for Taichi to hesitate. He truly does go back and forth between being a hot-head and overthinking things, but it’s struck me recently that many of the moments in which he hesitates involve a realization of his own mortality and relative insignificance in relation to everything going on in the universe around him. Going back and watching the other movies, watching Taichi + Yamato bicker about what the right thing to do is, how to avoid the most death and tragedy... it seems sort of cruel. I’m sure it wasn’t intentional but as Yamato made the case for saving more civilians by doing something, Taichi’s blank stare, his hesitation... it’s almost as if he knows he’s stuck in purgatory and yeah, they could do something, but hey Yamato, “I don’t wanna die. I’ll die too.” 

As I type that out, I’m now realizing those are the words I’ve been looking for all of Tri. Taichi’s moving like he’s trying to navigate purgatory and he’s not sure which choices will show him the light. 

As Taichi made the ultimate sacrifice, I was reminded of this scene on Loss:

Taichi did something. And I’ll leave it at that. I felt a lot of sadness going back and watching this scene but I’m not quite sure what to make of it yet. All I can say is that when Yamato demanded that everyone stand, I was glad Sora was the first one who did.

On the ending: As Hikari’s digimon chased after her, calling her name each time Hikari called for Taichi, I wanted to reach out and tell it to be quiet. Hikari was so shocked and mournful, but still, that sentiment is so anti-ethical to who Hikari is. We’ve had all this talk about partners, and I found it peculiar for Hikari to mumble that she was supposed to be at her brother’s side. She over-relies on him so much that even Takeru gets annoyed with it. So what can a partner do? Evolve to Ophanimon FM, I guess. 

Ophanimon, born from Hikari’s despair and closed off heart, Hikari, being the one DarkGennai references as being so easy to manipulate due to her fragility.

Which is all... fine and evil. Just... after the perfectly creepy jogress evolution we saw... what the ffuck digimon is that? It definitely is not Mastemon but it reminds me of Mastemon, given it’s description. It doesn’t really make sense, but I felt like I needed to contribute something lol. It’s listed as being able to evolve from Meicrackmon VM but... I don’t know. I really have no evidence putting this forward as even a basis for what we saw in Kyousei besides “I just think it sounds kinda similar” so I’m gonna go ahead and wrap up with my final thoughts.

The Dark Ocean: Well, they committed! The dark ocean is involved in Tri and is seemingly the third world that the title of Tri may be referencing. If the Dark Ocean is here though, I’m also assuming Demon is too. It would make sense I suppose, him swearing revenge on the 02 kids and promising to free himself as revenge against the ultimate being of good in the digital world.

So, nothing is creepier than Maki standing over the dark ocean, gun in hand, arms outstretched like she’s the world’s savior: a holy trinity all in one person. The waves knock her down and that’s the last we see before flashing to Daigo’s memories.  

I’m left wondering how Maki got into the world of darkness in the first place. I remember Ken using his own darkness to open a portal and am wondering if his image being used as an avatar was some type of foreshadowing. Have the 02 kids been trapped there? Is there where Taichi and Daigo are busy tumbling to? Is the dark ocean’s existence throwing off the balance between the human world and the real world, grabbing hold of the link between them and dragging it down? 

In any case, there’s a lot to ponder here. When the kids don’t even know who they’re fighting it’s difficult for the audience to figure out the players. At first mention of Apocalymon, I wondered if the intent was to bring him back. I then wondered, after seeing the dark ocean, if he manifested as part of the dark world himself, or if he manifested as Maki’s manipulated dread and jealousy. Are her emotions in a sense, Apocalymon, and the source of the shard? I’m now enticed to think about Demon sitting in the dark ocean for years, plotting revenge. Demon originally came to light because Ken dipped his hands into darkness. Apparently, Maki’s done the same. Word. For. Word. I think it makes sense for her suffering to resemble Ken’s. I think she is a true chess piece of a victim and tbh I don’t see her making it out alive. Send Daigo my regards. Movie 6 will be rough and I would not be surprised to see her atone for her sins before a very Oikawa-like death, sacrificing herself to restore balance to all.

As I said in my Loss review, I’m really not that familiar with all the lore in this fandom and most of what I learn comes from my own research (aka late night searches on wikimon). While perusing Demon’s page, I noticed this:

Note that it’s fanmade, but I’m wondering if anyone knows where this came from? It makes sense so in the context of Tri I almost feel like I’m being trolled. Anyways.

I’d like to note that after the “reboot” Maki notes that the net ocean hasn’t appeared yet. I wonder if the overarching goal is to birth a new digital world from this ocean of darkness instead. I can’t really think of anything more guaranteed to throw off the universe’s balance than that.

So here we are. Much like everyone’s feelings about Tri, this review is a mess. I’ve edited it so much and I’m still left with something I’m terribly unhappy with, but I wanted to put it out there before Tri 5 got too far away from me. If you read all of this, thank you? It’s a jumble of thoughts and unverifiable theories that you all can probably debunk in a matter of minutes. See u all in spring/summer 2018 oh my fucking god. Until then, our kids are left on a no-man’s land resembling the place where the original chosen and the 02 kids fell. Meiko, in her envy of Taichi, now carries Koromon in her arms after Taichi’s apparent death. And I don’t want to be the one to say it, but... As we all ponder the meaning of being chosen, whether being chosen matters if you can so easily be cast aside, and how to stretch the limits of being a good partner...

Mrs. Yagami’s food is going to get awfully cold.

[meanderfall]

I haven't seen many people talk about it, but Temple was right, the Reds & Blues *do* treat Caboose with kid gloves. They see him as stupid and sometimes annoying, but ultimately harmless and sweet and childlike (most of the fans do too, as did the last two writers). Alpha was really the only person who ever treated him like an adult (he still found him annoying, but tbh I think a lot of that was just bluster), who acknowledged that he was capable and *dangerous*. Maybe Tex did too, but [1/3]

[2/3] they didn't have many on screen interactions.And at first Wash did, but after Alpha died no one did. Which I think wasactually on purpose in regards to Epsilon? Because even though Epsilonacknowledges Caboose's strength at the end of Season 10, he still treatsCaboose like the others do. Whereas Alpha was *always* aware of how destructiveCaboose could and would be, to the point where he'd hide behind him in diceysituations because he didn't want to get caught in Caboose's crossfire.

[3/3] I also thinkit's a little interesting that Temple was supposed to analogous to Alpha(although how tf did the Director know that Alpha would be enough like Templeto make the stalemate work again? Also the stalemate only really worked in thefirst place because Temple and Biff were friends so?? But I digress!), and hadalso been the only one since Alpha died to acknowledge that Caboose was anadult, and even though he was cruel about it he still treated Caboose like hedid everyone else.

Hello, Anon! It was so nice to see this in my inbox omg, and I’m sorry this took so long, life has been hectic and stressful! Not to mention, I wanted to take the time to ponder about this, and lol I’m definitely going to be rambling a lot woops.

You’re absolutely right, anon. We, the fans, and the writers and even the BGC tend to baby Caboose a lot. Mostly, at least in my case, because he tends to exude innocence and naivety and you just wanna protect him as much as possible from the real world. But just because he does seem innocent and naive, it doesn’t mean he’s a kid. Alpha was probably the one who treated him the most as an equal, though that’s probably mostly because he’s an asshole to everyone. (Though maybe not?? Remember that RVB 360 video with Church doing the Dad Knee to Junior and talking to him?? Maybe he does know the difference between how to treat a kid and an adult. Won’t stop him from complaining about the kid around said kid though lol.)

I’m not going to lie, anon, these asks gave me some kind of existential crisis as I tried to figure out what exactly is the difference between a kid and an adult, besides ages, and how we’re supposed to treat them, (because it seemed like part the argument that you were implying about how Caboose is an adult and doesn’t need to be treated like a child was that he’s dangerous, and that didn’t sit well with me tbh so here I am over-analyzing a simple ask yet again lmao im sorry if i was wrong or misinterpreted).

Anyway, I’m pretty sure the difference has do with cognitive development. Kids’ thought processes are pretty simple, and this is especially clear from their idea of morality. I’ve heard my younger siblings exclaim so many times that something was unfair, and y’know sometimes they were right, but other times they weren’t taking into consideration other circumstances that made it so the situation was fair. Not to mention, that they’re selfish, through no fault of their own. So far, in their minds, they can’t really manage to consider other people’s point of view, and unless they’re taught differently and actually make the effort, that won’t change. And that’s where the difference between how adults are supposed to treat kids and other adults comes in. Adults, esp their guardians, are supposed to help them grow. They are there to encourage more complex thought processes and and help them walk through the logic if necessary. And they are there to offer advice bc adults have so much more life experience then kids do.

Caboose isn’t really like a kid at all. A lot of people might mistake the things he says as him being simple-minded but really, he just sees things differently from others and processes it differently. And that of course, seems weird and probably child-like to the others because by now they’re so used to how ‘normal’ adult minds work. And like, there are so many examples of posts on this site of adults or teenagers being surprised or caught off-guard by something a kid said or did, so I guess when the BGC encountered Caboose and had that happen to them, they kind of went Caboose = child.

Not to mention, Caboose is easily one of the most caring and empathetic characters on the show??? He loves his friends so much, esp Church, and would do anything for them. (Good examples of Caboose having complex thought processes and empathy: his speech to Tucker in s12 about how he shouldn’t be mad at Church, that episode of s14 ‘Caboose’s Guide to Making Friends’ or whatever it was called, s8 in general when he kept wanting to help Epsilon esp the end of s8. ‘But they’ll die!’ he says. He is completely aware of the possible consequences of what’s happening. He isn’t dumb.)

Anyway, back to the rest of the asks! About them treating Caboose with kid’s gloves.... I waffle between saying you’re absolutely right and going “Weeeellll....”. Because Temple says that right before he reveals that Church really is truly dead and Tucker is trying to stop him from saying it. And you’re right. Caboose shouldn’t have that hidden from him. He’s fully capable of hearing the truth and starting to process the grief. But the thing is, isn’t that what he was already doing in the beginning of s15? Before Temple sent them that corrupted message and gave him hope again? (Not to mention, in the grand scheme of things it probably isn’t that weird to thing Church could’ve honestly come back, he’s died and come back so many times.) And, as a friend, wouldn’t you want to do anything to protect your friend from getting hurt or from grief? Especially when the news is coming from your enemy? Of course Tucker wanted to stop Temple from revealing the truth like that. And it kind of happened in a tense moment. And Tucker hadn’t really been at his best emotionally all season (which believe me, I’m kind of displeased with :/    s15 Tucker is not my Tucker.) (The Blood Gulch Chronicles was probably the best in terms of Tucker treating Caboose like an equal. They definitely had sibling bond there, annoying each other and trying to get Dad’s Church’s attention XD)

I think Wash is pretty good about Caboose though. I still remember that s11 speech when he validated Caboose’s feelings of loss and asked for forgiveness for not being a better leader when he really needed him. I’d probably need to re-watch the seasons for myself in order to really confirm if they treat him like a child constantly that can’t comprehend what’s happening. It’s hard to tell for sure, because the writers kind of fuck that up from time to time, making Caboose seem dumber and the others reacting more harshly to it. Though where do we draw the line of them baby-ing him and caring for him? Like when Sarge let’s Caboose push the button in s3 and calls him a ‘litle rascal’ (i think?), is Sarge treating him like a kid there or just engaging in his enthusiasm? Or in s7 and s8 whenever they leave Caboose behind out of the fights, are they doing it to stop him from accidentally hurting others or because they genuinely think he’d be useless in the fight? Whenever they decide not to explain something to him, are they doing it because they think it’s a waste of time to explain something Caboose won’t understand anyway? (Personally, whenever Caboose misunderstands what someone explained to him, I think it has to do with a lack of concentration than just not being able to comprehend what they’re telling him. He probably has a tendency to drift. And he can concentrate when it’s important, so I think he’s okay) There are probably more examples, but I can’t think of more, I really do need to do a rewatch goddamn.

One last thing! About how Temple is analogous to Church and the stalemate. Correct me if I’m wrong (and I might seriously be, I watched s15 with friends, so I probably missed a good quarter of information), but isn’t the similarities between the two groups completely coincidental? Because Alpha wasn’t implanted and put into Blood Gulch until after Project Freelancer was destroyed, and Temple and the others were in an simulation outpost while Freelancer was still running, evidenced by Carolina and Tex showing up. And I don’t think it would be too hard for them to purposefully create a stalemate? The Counselor probably evaluated them and interviewed them, and learnt that Temple and Bif were friends, and just created the teams in such a way that they would either more or less take charge of their respective teams or be too lazy to fight, creating a stalemate between the two. Also I’m pretty sure Florida created the Blood Gulch teams on his own??? so it really is a coincidence. A freak-ish one for sure, and obviously kind of contrived because it was for plot, but it isn’t that bad.

Also, totally jumping off that one tiny thing you said about how Temple and Alpha were the ones to treat Caboose like an adult. First, I’m about 99% sure the reason why that’s the case if because they’re both huge assholes omg nothing will stop them from treating you like a dumbass. And, this is totally a more personal thought process that I’m just shoving at you, even though me and my friend spent most of our watch saying things like “Alpha would never do that!”, looking back on it, I think Alpha would. Keep in mind, Alpha was an AI created by Leonard Church. A man that when his wife died and he had been powerless to stop it, started torturing his own mind in the hope’s of one day creating an AI of his wife, and performing psychological experiments with the people under his command, who he is supposed to guide and train, and on his own daughter. If there had been a clear cause for what had happened, like in the case of Bif’s death, he probably would’ve gone absolutely insane in his quest for vengeance, like Temple did. And Alpha would’ve done the same, at least, probably before he had been tortured and fragmented. Afterwards, he didn’t really have much emotions or energy to bother with vengeance plots.

Anyway, thank you for coming to my inbox! I hope you enjoyed this read through lmao, though it’s probably filled with stuff you already know and understand! Also looking back on it, I realize I’m all over the place about whether the BGC treat Caboose like a kid woops. I might do a rewatch just for this lol.

[jenroses]

Organization?

This is for @thehausghosts and @ishxallxgood I guess, lol.

First of all, most of the things I write start out as one idea, and usually something that comes out in under 5k. Plot bunnies happen, and that’s where it’s really easy to wander off into distraction land, and honestly? I don’t fight it all that much.

Google docs and Chrome make it pretty easy to keep things from getting lost. 

I wish I could give a steady answer for “I outline things and then I write the first part, the second part, etc.” but that is simply not how my brain works or how I work best.

The muse is fickle, but is most responsive to consistent attention.

So what I’m describing below is not “the” method, but “some methods” that have worked for a couple of different pieces.

For me writing comes first and foremost from ideas. In Check Please, the idea that sparked the Rules series was simply this idea that Bitty told the Internet his parents didn’t know they’d met his boyfriend, and I’ve had a little experience on both sides of the coming out thing, and so I let my inner Mama Bittle flow. That’s the short thing. Someone said they wanted to see Coach’s response. That provoked a longer story. I’d hinted at something in both stories that readers wanted to see, that got the next part. None of this required much planning. 

Then Rule Number Two’s plot bunny hit, and hit hard. I wrote it quickly. Like, I think it was a couple of days? The idea was cohesive--someone figures out what’s going on between Jack and Bitty and they decide to come out. Everything around that just followed logically. Organizing it was simply a matter of breaking things at “breathing points”. Breathing points are the places in the narrative where either everyone’s gone to sleep or there’s so much drama that the reader needs a moment to deal. (or a week, in serial television.) 

I don’t do chapter breaks “because I’ve hit my writing goal” or “because I’m tired of it and want it posted.”

I have a lot of little scene breaks throughout any piece longer than 5k, usually, and while I might choose to turn one of those into a chapter break for length, I want my chapter breaks to make sense.

Some stories get chapter breaks by the day, or by the week. Some get them by the emotional milestone. 

I think it’s kind of like a sculptor, staring at a block of marble and chipping things away to find the art that is already there. As writers, we are presented with an idea, that is this formless block of thought, and we have to shape it and push it and paint it with words until the idea is realized in a form that the reader can resonate with. Chapter breaks and chapter lengths are a byproduct of the story being told. So in my YOI fic, some of the stories are about a single night, or a single week. Some cover a longer span. Two of the earlier stories are almost exactly the same length and one of them has 7 chapters and the other has none, only scene breaks, because that’s how the story went. 

And that brings in the series. Here are my long things: Facing Janus (X-files), 250k, 3 “acts”, 30 chapters (including the prologue). It is not a series. The action covers a month or so, IIRC, but is one story from start to finish. It took me 10 years to write (but the first 6 chapters took a few months and the last 200,000 words took 6 weeks). I knew when I started what the gist was, and it changed dramatically once I picked it back up again, but I had in my head several of the scenes SO clearly and was mostly writing my way from one to the next so that they would hang together. (Scully walking over the border and how she did it was HUGE in my mind through the whole thing. I legit thought that would be the end of it.) (finished 2008)

Symbolon. Doctor who. So the two little stories up front were written pretty much last. Symbolon was the beginning for me, and the bookends for the series were “Even RTD says there’s no way Rose would have stayed with the clone” and “The Eye of Harmony must be restored”. And I knew there were a lot of upsetting canon things that would change if Rose stayed, so I explored that, and Jack’s arc had pissed me the fuck off so I wanted to write some resolution to his pain and grief, and and and and next thing I knew I’d written 250k in about 10 weeks. The main thing that kept me going was that I did NOT allow myself to publish before it was done, and I really wanted to share it. Chapter breaks happened when they happened. The story breaks were obvious within what I knew was going to happen. I spent a lot of time during those months curled up under a shower in the bathtub with my mind on another planet and I’m not even kidding, it was the single most immersive experience I’d ever had as a writer. IIRC I wrote it almost entirely in Open Office, which was great because I could turn on the UK dictionary and not look incompetent for the most part, but HORRIBLE for proofreading. Dear god. It got proofed in email. 2010 seems a long time ago right now. But it was the happy ending for the tenth doctor that would NEVER happen on air. 

I published Therapy (90k, perpetual WIP but not a terrible ending point) in the Castle fandom during the summer of 2011, while pregnant, as a throwaway “I’m writing this between now and the season premiere” and I had a lot of ideas but didn’t track them well, the thing was a disorganized mess and I swore off publishing WIPs for a long time.

Somewhere in there I rewatched JAG, wrote 90k, abandoned it, never published it anywhere because there was no one interested in JAG fanfic and I couldn’t bring myself to finish.  I also wrote a few one-offs for Stargate, IDK when, that might have ended up being a huge thing but then I decided I hated my OC a lot and that it was not really all that interesting once I’d taken care of the annoying plot holes the series had left around Moebius and Egypt... Those I posted and got practically no feedback and so didn’t really continue. 

So then I got bit by a bug and was really pondering this original concept and just let it percolate for a few years. I wasn’t going to write fanfic. I wasn’t. I had this idea. But I was also very busy and knew my kid would start kindergarten in 2017, and so I wasn’t going to write fiction until then. (yes, you can start laughing at me now.)

Fastforward to early 2016. Here’s me, struggling with depression and undiagnosed and diagnosed health issues, and I was looking for something to watch on Netflix, and there was Merlin, and the ratings were good. 

And I watched. And I watched. And I got angrier and angrier. I nearly turned it off. I kept going because, and this was literally my mantra, “The fanfic is going to be amazing.” And it was. And I read... god, so much fanfic in the Merlin fandom. It’s a pretty large fandom, with a lot of fics, and I sorted by kudos and read and read and read until the quality dropped. 

And I got involved in the fandom and there was a rewatch and after seeing the whole series and getting mad at it, I reluctantly started it again, got to episode 8, and went, “Well, if Merlin could go back in time, THIS is where he’d go back to to fix everything.”

THAT, folks, is how Plot Vorpal Bunnies are born. I started writing, and wrote feverishly, and signed up for a Big Bang, and was like 50k into this thing....

When someone (*cough* @ayantiel *cough*) in the Merlin Chat said, “I love that my fandom can generate a fic called, “Exeunt, Pursued by Heteronormativity”. 

There was a record screech in there as I scrambled to go find Check Please and that fanfic, and then I was lost in Check Please for a while. I wasn’t going to do a big fic. I WASN’T. I did a few little throw-away one offs. And then Mama Bittle happened, and next thing I knew I’d written something like 70k for the fandom, and I was seriously in danger of not getting my big bang thing finished for Merlin, so I dragged myself back to that, got an artist, got inspired, finished that, and then came back to Check Please to work on Healing Rules (which is still not finished but because Google Docs never forgets, I actually have worked on it.) Right around then I hit my late-year lag and my no-fucking-way-am-I-writing-NaNoWriMo stubborn streak, and fandom started talking YOI, and we know how that went.

THIS IS ALL incredibly long and roundabout and I’m going to post it under a cut and then reply to my own thing to talk about the organizational systems I have now, because I actually do, and they help.

[shirtlesssammy]

The End: 5x04 Recap

Welcome to the episode that launched a thousand fanworks! There’s so much hinted and untold story between the present and future in this episode. It’s no wonder it’s a favorite for many people to rewatch, and a popular platform from which to launch stories.

Now:

The brothers are still on their own paths towards the apocalypse, and Dean, done with his super platonic buddy time with Cas, pulls up to a motel to crash for the night. A street preacher pesters Dean about God’s plan. Once in his motel room, Dean chats with Cas about the Colt. Cas has a lead on the gun but Dean needs to sleep. Cas is suspicious. God, he’s cute here.

Dean’s phone rings again. This time it’s Sam. Sam is Lucifer’s vessel. Dean acts indifferent and jaded to their current reality. Sam wants back in. Dean gives Sam his sob story of how they don’t work together - they’re weaker when they’re together; they’re better off apart. He says goodbye to his brother, and any hope of stopping the apocalypse.

The next morning, Dean awakens to a spring mattress under him, no cell coverage, and an eerily empty post-apocalyptic world.

Dean wanders the streets which are dirty, derelict, and devoid of humans. In an alleyway, he finds a little girl and asks, “Are you hurt?”

She’s hurt, but more like hurt in the brain hurt, and she lunges at Dean like a rabid zombie. Dean punches the little girl (and we cheered.) It’s only then that he sees the words “Croatoan” spray painted on a wall.

Just then the local Croatoan street gang makes an appearance. Dean takes off with them in hot pursuit. Dean runs into a fence, his fate seemingly sealed, but unknown forces appear and open gunfire, blasting “Do You Love Me”. (I love this moment - it’s disjointed but so perfect. Dean is completely clueless at this point -- we we are as well. The music and bullets set this odd tone of military bravado in a topsy-turvy world.) Dean escapes through the fence and sees a quarantine sign:

It’s so weird to think that this episode is 3 years in the past! This show! May it last forever!

Dean hotwires a car and as he’s traveling down the road, Zachariah joins him for a little tête-à-tête. Zach gives Dean the low down on the state of the world in 2014 (not as bad as 2017, amirite?). He also tells Dean he’s going to make him marinate in this hellish nightmare for 3 days. He’s going to learn why he needs to say ‘yes’ to Michael.

Dean heads to Bobby’s. It’s dark and deserted, and he finds Bobby’s wheelchair with bullet holes. He jimmies open the fireplace safe and finds a picture of a group of men - Bobby and Cas included - at a Camp Chitaqua. Dean makes it to camp in the blink of a commercial break, and quickly sees the rusted shell of the Impala. “Oh, Baby, no.” He walks to the third lead inanimate object that drove him from point A to point B, and is knocked out from behind - by himself! Dun-dun-dun!

Dean comes to, chained to a post, with Future!Dean watching him, gun trained on him.

Future!Dean wants an explanation - Dean tells him that Zachariah sent him 5 years into the future. Future!Dean demands our Dean to tell him something only he would know. Dean confesses his time with Rhonda Hurley and her infamous pink, satiny panties. Like, this is possibly the most intimate thing we will ever know about Dean. Much has been made of this moment from us, but at this time, between the two Deans, Future!Dean now knows he’s dealing with himself, and all that comes with it. He tells Dean about the spread of the Croatoan virus, and how the world fell apart once the virus spread two years prior. And he tells Dean, “Heavyweight showdown in Detroit. From what I understand, Sam didn’t make it.” They hadn’t talked in 5 years.

Future!Dean needs to make a Target run, so Dean is going to stay nice and hidden away from the gen pop at Camp Chitaqua. Future!Dean should know himself better, as Dean works himself free with minimal effort.

As a newly free Dean wanders the camp, Chuck finds who he thinks is the camp leader and informs Dean of the camp’s dwindling toilet paper supply, and ponders what they should do before wondering if Dean is supposed to be on a mission. Dean gets to dodge that tricky question, but doesn’t dodge a blow from Risa. It appears he spent the night with Jane, despite his “connection” with Risa. And apropos of nothing, Dean asks if Cas is around. Interesting segue, Dean. Chuck will never guess your train of thought because they all know of your “connection” with Cas already.

Dean heads to Cas’s cabin and finds End!Cas in all his drug fueled, hippy-dippy, orgy-leading, non-labelled beauty. I’m hard pressed to choose a favorite version of Cas, but this is the version I find most interesting. Dean’s a bit nonplussed.

Cas picks up that Dean isn’t the Dean from his time (How does he do that if he’s human now. Insert <we just don’t know gif>) Dean asks for his angelic help, but Cas laughs. “What are you, stoned?” Dean wonders.

“Generally, yeah.” Oh Endverse!Cas, never change.

Future!Dean and his errand crew make it back to camp. They break open the celebratory brewskies (ok, there’s still beer in End!verse? How bad can it be?) Future!Dean then pops a bullet in his fellow comrade’s head before Dean’s warning can prevent it. The others in the crew now see two Deans and Future!Dean admits, “it’s a pretty messed up situation we got going.” (I love the meta on this statement being about Dean and Cas. I mean, the camera does pan and focus on Cas after all.)

Dean and Future!Dean face off in the privacy of the meeting cabin. Future!Dean reveals that Yeager was infected with the Croatoan virus and he’d just performed a mercy killing. In fact, Future!Dean contends, his men were probably more freaked out by the Dean double than by Yeager’s death.

Dean apologizes for interfering in his leadership of the camp and they share a drink while Future!Dean reveals details about the mission they’d just been on. He pulls out the Colt from his duffel bag. After five years of searching, he’s finally ready to kill the Devil.

In the planning cabin the head honchos (Future!Dean, Risa, and Castiel) confer about the attack plan. They’re going to bust into Lucifer’s compound and kill him. Risa is particularly snippy and Future!Dean asks if everything’s okay. Dean helpfully says, “We were in Jane's cabin last night. And, apparently, we and...Risa have a connection.”

Yeah.

Future!Dean pushes the attack plan because he knows the whereabouts of Lucifer. He tortured it out of a demon just last week.

Classic Dialogue Alert

Cas: Our fearless leader, I'm afraid, is all too well schooled in the art of getting to the truth.

Dean: Torture? Oh, so, we're torturing again. No, that's good. Classy.

Cas: [laughs]

Future!Dean: [bitchface]

Cas: What? I like past you.

Oh, you guys. This. Scene. People have written hundreds of thousands of words about Castiel’s familiar sass, and Future!Dean’s harsh despair. Fans have wallowed in the agony of Dean’s fall into darkness and Castiel following him - always following him. Cas may be bitter and damaged but he’s still loyally fighting, regardless. Excuse me. I need to go lie down.

Risa and Castiel head off to assemble the assault team while Dean stays behind with Future!Dean. Dean wants to know why he’s going on the offensive with the team. What if he’s killed? Won’t that kill future him too? Future!Dean believes Zachariah is going to protect him and, under pressure, tells Dean about Sam.

“Sam? I thought he was dead,” Dean says.

“Sam didn’t die in Detroit. He said yes.” Future!Dean drops the truth bomb with a snarl. “You need to see it. The whole damn thing so you can do it different.” And Future!Dean’s proposal? Say “yes” to Michael as soon as Dean gets home. He didn’t say yes to Michael, confident that he’d find a better way. But once the world started going to shit and he tried to say yes he discovered that the angels had retreated back to Heaven and humanity was on their own. He begs Dean to learn from his mistakes and say yes. “But you won’t,” he concludes in despair. “‘Cause I didn’t.”

(“There is no free will,” I weep from my pool of tears on the floor.)

Cut to Dean heading toward the trucks alongside Chuck. Chuck advises Dean to hoard toilet paper like it’s gold. This is always the part of The End I have trouble with now because with Season 11 canon layered on top of it, we have God just hanging out at Camp Chitaqua. He might as well be propped up on a chair eating out of a bag of popcorn and watching the fireworks at the end of the world. It always makes me hate Chuck a little bit, whereas before the God revelation he was considerably more sympathetic to me. I suppose I rewatch and mourn the loss of that neurotic, mostly innocent pulp writer. I do like to think that Chuck’s presence might be what kept Camp Chitaqua a safe haven for so many years. They assumed they were lucky but Chuck was doing a little under-the-table god magic in order to live a more comfortable life. (Natasha: Kicks Chuck in the shins anyway.)

Dean drives with Cas to Lucifer’s compound. Cas pops amphetamines and offers some to Dean. “It's the perfect antidote to that absinthe,” he says.

Uh...Dean would really like to know why Cas is suddenly a drug-saturated hippy. Cas tells him that he went mortal. When the angels left Earth and sealed themselves into Heaven his mojo just drained away.

Cas: I'm practically human. I mean, Dean, I'm all but useless. Last year, broke my foot, laid up for two months.

Dean: So, you're human. Well, welcome to the club.

Cas: Thanks. Except I used to belong to a much better club. And now I'm powerless. I'm hapless, I'm hopeless. I mean, why the hell not bury myself in women and decadence, right? It's the end, baby. That's what decadence is for. Why not bang a few gongs before the lights go out? But then that's just how I roll.

BRB. Just going to be curled up here on the floor for a while, processing and mentally wrapping Cas in a blanket.

Future!Dean lays out the plan. They’re going to storm the facility and shoot the Devil. So...it’s pretty straightforward.

For science

Dean pulls Future!Dean aside and calls him out on the plan beneath the plan. It turns out that most of the team are heading through the front door to kill demons in a big ambush but Dean and Future!Dean are going to sneak around the back to get the jump on Lucifer. Dean’s horrified at this. Is Future!Dean really going to sacrifice his friends so callously? And CAS? Yes, yes he is. Future!Dean bops Dean unconscious before he can tell everyone they’re signed up to be sacrificial lambs.

Dean wakes to the stutter of distant gunfire in the compound. He runs up and sees muzzle  flashes in the windows. Dean rounds a corner and finds his future self in a rose garden. Future!Dean lies on the ground, the Colt just out of reach, and Lucifer’s foot on his neck. As Dean watches, Lucifer (in Sam’s body) snaps Future!Dean’s neck.

Dean’s defiant.

Dean: Go ahead. Kill me.

Lucifer: Kill you? Don't you think that would be a little...redundant?

Samifer apologizes for skeeving out Dean by speaking to him in Sam’s shape. Dean gives Samifer his best bitchface.

Lucifer seems to take offense at Dean’s low opinion of his devilish plan. He’s got a mission, after all.

Lucifer: You know why God cast me down? Because I loved him. More than anything. And then God created you. The little hairless apes.

Dean: You’re the same brand of cockroach I've been squashing my whole life. An ugly, evil, belly-to-the-ground, supernatural piece of crap. The only difference between them and you is the size of your ego.

Dean tells Samifer that he’d better kill him now, in the future, because if he ever gets back to his own time then he’ll find a way to kill him.

Lucifer is unbothered by Dean’s vow to kill him. “Whatever you do, you will always end up here. Whatever choices you make, whatever details you alter, we will always end up—here.” Dean doesn’t want to believe it but a single man tear is still threatening to slip down his face.

Zachariah zaps Dean back to the past just in time. He corners Dean in his motel room and strongly encourages him to say yes to Michael. When Dean still hesitates, he threatens grave injury to Dean once again.

Dean still says no because he is our precious, sweet, strong bean. He learned a lesson from Zachariah’s little future peek...just not the lesson Zach wanted to impart.

Just when Zachariah is closing in, Cas zaps Dean to meet him by the side of the road. They had an appointment, after all.

Under the shelter of Castiel’s gaze, Dean calls Sam and invites him to meet. At their meeting behind some secluded railroad tracks, Dean offers Sam the demon blade and a spot in the Impala once again. He apologizes and admits that he was wrong to push Sam away. “Maybe we are each other's Achilles heel. Maybe they'll find a way to use us against each other, I don't know. I just know we're all we've got. More than that. We keep each other human.”

Sam thanks him and the brothers vow to deny the dark future Zachariah projected and make their own future.

Natasha: Lifts head from floor and wipes tears from face. “Good episode, guys. Good episode.”

The Quotes

You know, it's kind of funny. Talking to a messenger of God on a cellphone. It's, you know, like watching a Hell's Angel ride a moped.

I thought I smelled your stink on this Back to the Future crap.

Rhonda Hurley. We were, uh, nineteen. She made us try on her panties. They were pink. And satiny. And you know what? We kind of liked it.

I got a camp full of twitchy trauma survivors out there with an apocalypse hanging over their head. The last thing they need to see is a version of The Parent Trap.

Why not go get washed up for the orgy?

I thought you'd gotten over trying to label me.

Not gonna lie to you. Me and him? Pretty messed up situation we got going.

You ever get back there, you hoard toilet paper. You understand me? Hoard it. Hoard it like it's made of gold. 'Cause it is.

Okay, if you don't like, uh, 'reckless', I could use 'insouciant', maybe.