#spend the day sobbing because I had to call in sick

[thelikesoffinn]

Workplace Trauma is fun, you guys.

So. Fun.

[maxlarens]

hi lilli!! i heard angst and i came running, how about searching for each other in crowded rooms, finding each other everywhere with logan or oscar, whoever sparks the most inspo, but plot twist—not being able to be together for some reason (the why is totally up to you, feel free to ignore if this isn't your cup of tea). thank u thank u <3

kait!!! hello!!! thank u for sending this in!!! im gonna do oscar 😁 it genuinely hurt my feelings SO BADLY to not have them make up at the end of this. so i sympathise with everyone that im about to make sad it was a bad time for me too❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

It's familiar, this feeling.

The squeeze of your chest, the grieving, panicking thing climbing up your throat. You've been feeling it a lot lately, every time you catch a glimpse of someone with hair the same colour as Oscar's; wearing clothes you swear that he has; a person with the same shoulders, the same gait.

You've been seeing him everywhere. You just think you have. Monaco is small… not that small apparently.

When it had first happened, at the beginning of summer break, you’d half expected to be back together within a week. For Oscar to message you and half-beg to talk to you again. In your dreams, you’d both come grovelling back to each other, apologising for cruel words, making amends for various mistakes. Then you would kiss him and you’d tell him how much you love him and things would get better.

Instead, you’ve spent weeks of your summer break totally and utterly miserable. Missing Oscar like a phantom limb. You reach for him, he’s not there. You go to text him, find a thread of messages discussing the logistics of returning the other’s belongings.

You sit in your flat and you watch the Lord of the Rings trilogy twice in a row twenty two hours and forty-four minutes because it doesn’t remind you of Oscar and it occupies your time in a way nothing else can right now. You cry until your eyes are puffy and you write in a diary you’ve never touched before, because it needs to go somewhere. The feeling stuck in your throat needs to be written down said out loud and you can’t say it to Oscar, who you would usually tell everything, because he needs “distance from you right now”.

Briefly, you convince yourself that “right now”, indicates that there still might be a later for the two of you. That this thing between you that’s fallen to pieces might one day be salvaged. In the quiet moments of Lord of the Rings you spiral down a rabbit hole of ways to get Oscar back, pathetic fantasies of how you might convince him to talk to you again. Then Arwen says, “I would rather share one lifetime with you than face all the ages of this world alone” and you cry for two hours straight.

You sob, your face in your pillow and you think that was supposed to me! That was supposed to be us! And maybe it wasn’t, maybe you’re not an elven maiden giving up her immortality for a mere man, but you love Oscar. You wanted to spend the rest of your life with Oscar. And now… now…

Well—

It is the waiting that’s the worst.

No texts, no calls. Lando sends you a few, but you can’t bear to hold a conversation with him, knowing he’s playing both sides. And anyway, you’re just thinking about Oscar. Is he there? Is he reading your texts? Seeing the pathetic selfies of you on your couch in days-old PJs? Is he staring at your stagnant text thread just like you are? Has he blocked you?

Your every waking thought is consumed by him. You drag yourself out of the apartment for coffee down the street and you wonder what he’s doing. Has he been rotting at home like you? More than likely he’s been doing things. Playing padel with Lando, going out for lunch, training at the gym, FaceTiming his family.

You feel sick to you stomach. You can list on one hand the activities that you’ve done since Oscar broke up with you at the beginning of the month:

Sleeping, crying, watching Lord of the Rings, ordering takeout, training because you have to. Going for coffee had been a big step out of your current comfort zone. You’re wearing pants that aren’t sweatpants… you’d even showered properly for fuckssake.

You got your most noise-cancelling headphones on, blasting sad Taylor Swift (who you don’t even like. It’s just something to fill the void) and staring down the barista so you can lip-read if they’re saying your name or the words Large Oat Latte. And then—

Then. The barista is mouthing Oscar and your stomach lurches as the exact object of your ire temporary depression walks to the counter. You try to convince yourself it’s not him, you keep seeing him places but it’s never really him. But it is, that’s his burgundy shirt, his swoop of hair, his knobbly little ankles.

You release a ragged breath that you hope isn’t too loud. You duck your head, try to avoid his gaze as he turns, pretending that you haven’t seen him. Try to look occupied by your phone though you’ve only had time to open to your home screen. Tears prick at the corners of your eyes, you blink furiously, trying your best not to fall apart in this coffee shop.

At least he’s not with someone else, you think as a tightness crawls up your throat to settle at the base of your tongue. But he looks happy, he looks fine, he looks better than you feel right now. God, what if he’s better off without you? What does it mean that you don’t seem to better off without him?

There’s something wet sliding down your left cheek and then you see Nike trainers entering your vision, still directed firmly downward. Someone puts a hand on your shoulder— you don’t jump but it’s a near thing. You reach up to slip your headphones off, wiping the tear discreetly as you go. Then you look up and it’s him, it’s Oscar.

He’s holding out a paper cup labeled, Oat Latte and smiling at you tightly.

“They were calling your name,” he says by way of explanation.

“Right,” your voice is shaky, weak, “Thanks.”

He nods, you take the coffee, careful not to touch his hand. You’re trying to swallow down the lump in your throat that’s rising rising trying to claw its way out of your mouth. You blink away the tears filling the corners of your eyes. You can’t look at him.

You’re looking up at the ceiling instead, biting the inside of your mouth. Breathing in and out, in and out.

He says your name, and then, “Do you want to talk?”

You feel like a tonne of bricks has just hit your chest. Knocking the wind out of you. Tears, hot and wet, are slipping down your cheeks. You can’t speak, you turn around and leave the coffee shop without saying anything because surely you’ll just start crying if you open your mouth. Oscar finds you again across the road, in a dark cobbled alleyway. The heel of your hand is pressed to the middle of your chest, you’re hiccuping, trying to stifle heavy sobs that you’d much prefer to let out in the privacy of your own apartment.

“Hey,” he says, gathering you into his arms before you can push him away, “It’s okay.”

You whine, collapsing into his chest, face pressing into his shoulder, “No, it’s not.”

You cry loudly, trying fruitlessly to keep the sobs in. Oscar’s hand rubs comforting circles into your back, which makes it better until you realise it’s Oscar, which makes it immediately worse. You stay there a while. Until your eyes are puffy and your throat sore.

“Better?”, Oscar asks, the crease between his eyebrows prominent.

You sigh tiredly, shrug, “Sure.”

Your coffee is cold now, your chest feels void, hollow.

You shake your head before Oscar can say anything further, before you’re set off on another fucking pathetic crying fit in the arms of your ex-boyfriend, “I can’t talk, Oscar. I really can’t.”

“Okay,” he says, nodding and swallowing some lump in his own throat.

You bite down hard on your tongue. Turn to leave the dark alley to go home, your back prickling with Oscar’s wet brown-eyed stare on you. He lets you leave. You spend the ten minute walk wiping tears before they fall and itching to run back, to kiss him, to pour all the emotion in your chest into some physical action.

There’s an awful grieving ache in your chest that’s carving out your insides and when you check your phone after walking in the door there’s a text from Oscar that reads:

I miss you. I’d really like to talk to you soon.

not sure if it was weird but the lord of the rings Mentions were kinda about how you’re in such a fragile state during a breakup that something as irrelevant to your break up at lord of the rings will make you cry for hours for no real reason. (and not to expose myself but after a break up i did watch the lotr trilogy two times in a row. told my friends and got a text from one of them asking if i was depressed 😭 like yes… temporarily alright)

send me a prompt/req + driver and i'll write something. pls check if my requests are open first 💖

[anton-luvr]

Hi, how have you been? I love your blog and the way you write!💖 I have a request to make, if you're comfortable with that... How would Riize react when you think they are cheating on you, but in reality it's all a misunderstanding, and they're just too busy. (English is not my first language so I'm sorry if this is a little confusing!)

# WHEN YOU THINK THEY'RE CHEATING ON YOU ; 7riize.

⚝ bf!riize x gn!reader | angst | bf au ⚝ note ; im kinda busy, but im doing good!! thank you so much ily :( and don't worry abt it i understood your req perfectly!! thank u for requesting, i hope u like it <3

# SHOTARO. - for the first time ever, shotaro doesn't smile. he can only sit in silent shock while he processes your words, and the first thing he can think of to do is to hug you. holds you tight as he whispers apologies over and over again, feeling terrible that he made you think that he was cheating on you. reassures you gently that he would never, and promises that once he gets a rest day, he'll spend all his free time with you.

# EUNSEOK. - eunseok isn't one who usually shows his emotions, but pain and guilt is so evident on his face after hearing what you said. he had no idea that you were feeling this way from how busy he's been these days, and he feels awful about it. tells you that he's sorry while wiping your tears away, and he swears to himself to start treating you with more love and care from that day onwards, starting from right now.

# SUNGCHAN. - he hates himself for making you think that he was cheating on you. calls up his boss immediately with the fakest cough and sneezes, lying without batting an eye about how he was 'terribly sick' and needed 'at least two days off' to 'recover'. he spends those two days with you, never once leaving your side as he takes you out to all your favorite places and showers you with love and compliments.

# WONBIN. - even though he immediately reassures you that he's not cheating on you and spends the night with you in his arms, he still feels so bad. life still goes on as usual for the both of you the next day, him busy at work while you were busy with yours. but just to make it up to you, wonbin has a bouquet sent right up into your office - a bouquet of a hundred and one roses, reminding you that you're his one and only lover.

# SEUNGHAN. - he understands how you feel and why'd you think that way, so other than seunghan promising that he'll try to spend more time with you, he also lets you voice out your worries in detail. he listens with full attention, nodding when you mention how you didn't like one of his female coworkers because she seemed so close with your boyfriend. and right after the words have left your lips, seunghan slips out his phone and blocks her on everything, right in front of you. he wants you to rest assured knowing that he couldn't care less for anyone else in this world other than you.

# SOHEE. - sohee has not and would never cheat on you. he loves you too much for that. he tells you just that as he gently kisses away your tears, holding you tightly in his arms for the rest of the night. he feels horrible for making you feel insecure in your relationship, so he makes sure to shower you in extra affection for the next few days. breakfasts in bed, long kisses before he leaves for work, and constant updates with photos about his day to you.

# ANTON. - his heart literally shatters into pieces. he can't help but cry too, because how could he make the love of his life feel this way? he apologizes to you through sniffles and sobs, promising you that he'd never cheat on you. tries his best to finish up his work faster the next day so he can come straight home to you and into your arms.

© anton-luvr, 2023.

taglist : @wonbons @mxlly143 @keehobaldboy @shawyle @yenart @lycheecheeseyogurt

[persefolli]

𝐋𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐯𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐚 𝐆𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭

𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐁𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐋𝐨𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐬 + 𝐒𝐭𝐮 𝐌𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 𝐊𝐧𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐏𝐥𝐚𝐲, 𝐍𝐂, 𝐌𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐃𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡, 𝐌𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐁𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝, 𝐓𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞, 𝐎𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐳𝐢𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭 𝐢'𝐯𝐞 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞, 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐟𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝

𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭: @xylianasblog, @scarasbaefy, @sukunasbigtiddiewifey, @the-mourning-moon, @childofgod-05

𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐞 | 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

"Billy this isn't fucking funny!" You yelled out to your boyfriend who'd gone to the garage to fix the power that had gone out in the middle of the movie.

It was 4 days til halloween and everyone was on edge with the serial killer at large. Billy had offered to come spend the night again at your house while your dad was away, and you felt safe, but as you walked around the quiet, dark house, you began to feel terrified for your boyfriend.

"Billy?" You turned the corner to the garage door, seeing that it was cracked open. The light was flickering in the garage, bulb swinging back and forth from the ceiling as it was seemingly tampered with.

"Billy?" You called on more time.

"Y/n." He responded.

"Oh thank god I thought-" You paused and shrieked seeing a man in a ghostface mask holding a bloodied knife. Your eyes trailed down to a single hand with blood on it. "Billy?!" You said panicked, before turning on your heels and sprinting. 

You crashed into your front door, cursing as you remembered that you and Billy locked it from the inside for extra security. As the figure came sprinting to you, you turned quickly and went up the stairs, scrambling on all fours to get up the stairs without falling.  

You ran into your bedroom and attempted to close the door, but another ghostface barged from your closet and twisted your arm behind your back, pinning you chest down on your bed.

Tears began to stream from your face as you struggled under his grip, but your eyes widened seeing the first figure walk in front of you. He held a curved knife, and the sight of it made you cry even harder.

"Oh baby." The masked man said. The voice sounded oddly familiar. 

He slipped his mask off to reveal he was none other than Billy. Your tears stopped, and your breath hitched 

Your own boyfriend.

"Why?" You croaked out.

"That's the question they always ask, right? Why?" He said mockingly, looking at the ghostface that was sitting on your back pinning you down.

The other ghostface took the mask off his face and giggled. "Because it's fun that's why."

Your eyes almost bulged out your head when you realized it was your childhood best friend Stu Macher. The revelation whacked you upside the head. Your two most trusted friends, pinning you down  and preparing to kill you.

You began sobbing again which caused Billy to groan.

"Oh hush." He kneeled on the floor in front of you. 

"I'm not gonna kill you." He mumbled. "I like you too much." His gloved finger traced your cheek.

"But we made a pact to terrorize people who deserve it. Fortunately it was Stu who chose you."

You felt a sense of betrayal and went weak under Stu. He rolled you over while keeping a tight grip on you.

"You owe me an answer." 

Stu's eyes glazed over and his expression turned to one of regret. "I've loved you since we were in middle school." He said, but then his face turned angry. "But you chose Billy fucking Loomis. When has he ever looked out for you!" He leaned down and yelled in your face.

"I'm sorry I- You know I love you Stu-"

"You don't. You fucking don't you're only doing that shit everyone does before they die." He hisses harshly. 

Tears rolled down the sides of your face and he sighed. 

"You know how many times I had to watch you and Billy walk down the halls? The times I had to pay Billy to leave your window open so I can watch him fuck you and imagine what it would feel like to be inside of you? That's sick! You made me crazy!" He yelled again.

"You are a sick fuck." Billy chimed in, receiving a glare from Stu.

"But that doesn't matter because it's my turn."

Stu began to unbuckle your jeans , pulling open the zipper to see your white frilled underwear.

"Stu- I'm so-"

"I can't listen to you right now. I'm not going to." He shook his head. Stu moved to flip you over again, taking down your pants and beginning to unbuckle his pants.

You began to cry, feeling both stupid and oblivious to your best friend's feelings.

"You." Stu looked at Billy. "Climb out the window."

"What?" 

"Climb outside the fucking window so you see what it feels like."

Billy groaned and rolled his eyes. "Fine....fucking weirdo." He said under his breath.

Billy opened your room window and climbed out. You got the urge to scream, but Stu grabbed the back of your head and slammed you into the sheets, nearly suffocating you.

"If you'd chosen me." He started. "I would've done this nicely. Kissed you, touched you, and fucked you gently like you've always talked about." He said lowly. "I see the shit you read in libraries, those love stories where the guys treat their women like a prize. You would've been mine."

"Stu." You whimpered out.

"But you had to choose Billy. And Billy doesn't know how to properly...appreciate you." He said through gritted teeth as he began running his tip between your folds.

You let out a low groan, letting your head roll to the side.

"Stu don't-"

Stu forced himself past your folds and into you. The two of you let out a shared groan and yell, you hissing at the pain of the sudden stretch. He was longer than Billy, tip brushing the end of your cervix which caused you the squirm from the foreign feeling.

"Fuck. I understand now Billy." He panted. 

He placed both hands on your hips and began thrusting into you. Filling you completely with each stroke. You gripped the sheets and moaned wildly. The fear in your stomach mixed with the way his dick massaged overstimulated you in a way. 

You gritted your teeth and tried swallowing back your moans, remembering the situation you were in.

"Stu- Billy-" You didn't know which name to cry out. 

Stu yanked you up by your hair and wrapped his arm around your neck, choking you slightly with his bicep as you now sat up, bouncing off his lap as he continued thrusting.

You made eye contact with Billy, who was on the roof looking at you with angry glare

Stu noticed the look he gave you, and smirked, looking down at you. 

"Like mother, like daughter right?" He jabbed at you. "Both cheating whores and liars."

"N-no!" You yelled out, panting as he continued pleasuring you down below. "That's not true!"

Billy moved from the roof so fast, crawling halfway on the bed and sticking the curved knife in your face. "Now you're pissing me off." The closeness of the knife was making you anxious. Tears began to stream down your face as he held the knife against your cheek. "Stop! Please stop!" You begged.

The pleading was indirect, but Billy knew you were talking to him. You hated sharp things, you hated knives, and he was only spooking you.

"Give it." Stu said between thrusts. He removed his arm from your neck and grabbed the knife, placing it to your neck, not stopping his pace.

“If your throat gets cut that's your fault.” He said coldly. You held yourself still as possible, still being pushed by the harshness of his strokes below. After a few moments he threw the knife to the side, laughing wickedly. “Just kidding. Told you we wouldn’t kill you didn’t I?” He pulled out suddenly and released his grip on you. 

You began to fall flat on the bed but he yanked you up again, pulling you to stand on your wobbly legs. 

“Stu, I can’t!” You pleaded, drawing attention to your weak state.

“You tried out for the cheer team this year, right?” He said, hooking his arm under your leg and pulling up. “You can handle it.”

Billy came forward, working off his own jeans and letting them pool around his ankles. Both of them shifted, and your eyes widened at the realization of what was gonna happen. 

“Billy- Stu-!”

“Shut up! You’ve been whining and crying since we got here!” Billy snapped.

He lined up with your entrance and sunk in, groaning in the process. “I could never stay mad at you.” He said with a vein popping from his forehead as he entered you. Stu entered you as well, only this time he was pushing into your ass. 

You threw your head back onto Stu’s shoulder as they both held you and thrusted into you hesitantly, and slowly. The feeling was so weird, but it felt so good. You allowed weak moans to spill from your lips and fill the air of your half-ruined room.

Billy let a smile creep on his lips once he heard you, knowing you were going crazy for this. 

He flipped his hair out of his face and picked up his pace, causing you to moan louder and Stu to grip tighter.

“You always have to show off!” Stu exclaimed while still buried in your backside. Billy ignored him, and continued moving under you. You felt a pit growing in your stomach, and that's when you knew you were close.

“I can fucking feel you.” Billy gritted. “Cmon baby…just like you always do.” 

You mustered the strength to hold your head up and face Billy when you got close to your climax. In a fit of jealousy, right before you went gushing all over him, Stu pulled your face towards him so you could kiss him. 

You came right there and then, on your boyfriend's cock while kissing your best friend.

The three of you unraveled and they laid you on the bed. You laid weakly looking up at the two of them,

“Next time you do that i'm putting this in your fucking neck.” Billy threatened while picking up his knife.

The sound of sirens were heard in the distance, and a crooked smile formed on Stu’s face. “Looks like we were too loud.” He huffed, picking up his costume and mask.He tilted his head to look down at you one last time. “Don’t worry. This isn't over.”

The two fled out of your bedroom window, leaving right on time before the police knocked on the front door. 

[elliespassagerprincess]

Headcannons: Milf!abby anderson x reader (part 2)

Part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4

☆ Milf Abby who tries really hard to talk to you but you’re making it so fucking difficult.

☆ Milf Abby who tries calling, texting, literally all forms of communication but you leave her on read and you don’t even pick up.

☆ Milf Abby who’s frustrated but she knows she deserves it.

☆ Milf Abby who wakes up one morning to see you sent her a text.

With shaky hands she clicked on the message. The simple text read 4 words:

“me, you this Friday?”

Abby blinked, and she sat in silence for a while.

Holy shit this was happening.

She responded with a simple “ok ill pick you up at six”.

☆ Milf Abby who jumps up from her bed and yells “I got the girl!” But soon regrets it when Aubrey walks in and tells her to shut up.

☆ Milf Abby who was on cloud nine all week.

☆ Milf Abby who tells her coworkers about the pretty girl she’s going on a date with on Friday.

☆ Milf Abby who smiles at you, when she picks up Aubrey, and her heart feels like it could explode when you give her a little wave.

☆ Milf Abby who asks Aubrey what your favorite color is because she wants to wear an outfit in that color, because she read in an article it’ll increase her chances.

“C’mon baby tell me” Abby groaned.

“Give me chocolate first”

Abby’s jaw dropped.  “Aubrey its 9pm, you know you can’t eat chocolate at this time”

“No chocolate, no color”

Abby let out a sigh as she walked out of Aubrey’s room to her secret chocolate stash. She pulled out a chocolate bar, and she gave it to the little girl. Aubrey immediately opened the bar and she took a big bite.

“ok talk”

“she likes green” Aubrey spoke with a mouth full of chocolate.

☆ Milf Abby who takes her daughter to bed, and orders a custom suit in green.

☆ Milf Abby who goes to work the next day and finds out they hired someone new.

“Who is he?” she asked while looking at Nora.

“I don’t know man”

“as long as she doesn’t break my record”

Nora rolled her eyes “of course he won’t abs, you’ve won the most cases in this whole firm”

☆ Milf Abby who tenses when she sees who was hired.

☆ Milf Abby who felt sick when he walked towards her.

“hi I’m- “

“heaters dad”

“Yeah” he chuckled “my name is actually Jason”

“I’m Abby”

The air was tense.

“what do you want dude” Abby said irritated.

“Look are you and the new teacher together?” He asked. Abby felt her eye twitch at his question.

“It’s none of your business”

☆ Milf Abby who thought her week was ruined, but when she got home her suit had arrived.

☆ Milf Abby who almost pees herself on Friday morning because today is the day.

☆ Milf Abby who takes the day off to get away from Jason and to relax.

☆ Milf Abby who spends hours on Pintrest to look for the perfect hairstyle.

☆ Milf Abby who’s ready by 3 in the afternoon.

☆ Milf Abby who asks Aubrey and her dad how she looks before she walks out.

“So how do I look?” she watched her dad smile at her.

“you look perfect Abby”

“now go get your girl!” she heard Aubrey yell.

☆ Milf Abby who made you a bracelet, and flowers out of paper.

☆ Milf Abby who sees Jason’s car outside the school.

☆ Milf Abby whose heart shatters when she hears your conversation.

“I’m going on a date with Abby” she heard your voice.

“Isn’t she too old for you? She’s in her 40s isn’t she?”

“what does age have to with anything?”

“she’s old”

yeah she was.

fuck, Abby knew too old. She didn’t even stay to listen to the conversation.

Abby ran out the school and she sobbed in her car. She should’ve know this would never work.

If only she stayed behind to hear how you defended her. If only she waited for you.

☆ Milf Abby who came home crying.

“Mommy what’s wrong- “Abby walked right past her daughter

“it’s ok let her go” she heard her dad say.

☆ Milf Abby who fell asleep crying.

☆ Milf Abby who wakes up with multiple texts from you.

“Hey where are you?”

“Abby?”

“are you ok?”

“I’m waiting for you”

“I’m home now”

“did you change your mind”

“Abby?”

With a shaky breath Abby blocked your number.

☆ Milf Abby who ignores your existence once again.

☆ Milf Abby who sees you smiling at her, but she just nods back at you.

☆ Milf Abby who tells you have no future together.

Aubrey climbed into the car, and before Abby could drive away she heard a knock on her window. It was you.

“Hey” Abby said after lowering the window.

“Hi Abby- “

“call me Mrs. Anderson” she watched as your face dropped.

You cleared your throat “I’m sorry Mrs. Anderson, I just wanted to ask what happened the other night?”

“I realized that this wasn’t going to work”

“why?”

“because you’re too young. I need someone more mature”

“Oh”

Abby could feel the sadness radiating off you.

“You should go for someone your own age”

“Ok Mrs. Anderson, I understand. Thank you for your time”

☆ Milf Abby who feels bad after her daughter calls her stupid.

☆ Milf Abby who makes a realization by the help of her daughter.

“You made my teacher sad”

“Aubrey I don’t care stop telling me- “

“you do care. I see the way you look at her” Abby sighed at her daughter’s answers.

She does care. She downloaded social media to stalk you. She stared learning internet slang for you.

“Heathers dad said that he wants to ask her on a date-”

“what?”

“I heard him say that he’s going to ask her out but then I said no because you wanted to go on a date with her”

Then it clicked.

He was there that day to cause trouble.

fuck.

He wanted to get into Abby’s head. And he did. He started working at Abby’s law firm to watch her. To figure out her moves. Her weaknesses.

He must’ve heard her and Nora talk about the age gap. She made a mistake.

☆ Milf Abby who runs to unblock your number and calls you.

☆ Milf Abby who felt like she could cry when you didn’t pick up.

☆ Milf Abby who whimpers your name when you eventually pick up the phone.

“what do you want Mrs. Anderson?”

“No look I made a mistake, please listen- “

“you can’t keep doing this….You say you like me then you ghost me- I’m sick of your shit Abby”

“look I heard Jason say that you deserve someone younger- “

“well maybe I do”

Abby went quite at that.

You spoke up again: “I need someone who’s mature, someone who can communicate but what do I know Abby I’m immature, am I not? Because apparently you know what that maturity means”

“Please” she sighed.

“Please I’m begging you” Abby begged again.

The line went quite for a while.

“Come to my class tomorrow so we can talk”

☆ Milf Abby who goes to work the next day and she goes to Jason’s office.

☆ Milf Abby who confronts him, and almost beats the shit out of him when he calls her a grandma.

☆ Milf Abby who gets into trouble but it was worth it.

☆ Milf Abby who goes to your class later that day.

She watched as you sat behind your desk. “Sit” you commanded and she did.

☆ Milf Abby who tells you the whole story.

“sorry won’t cut it Abby, you said the same thing the last time”

“Just because he said that doesn’t mean you have the right to ghost me”

“I’m sorry”

“Look just one more chance please”

“why should I trust you?”

“because I’m me”

You rolled your eyes at Abby’s response.

Abby reached out to grab your head, and your head snapped in the direction of you interlocked fingers.

“words mean nothing” you spoke.

“just trust me please and-” but before she could finish you leaned in to kiss her.

It was slow, passionate, and it was filled with so much love. Abby pulled away, only to get up and walk to side of the desk where you sat. She went on knees and she and put her hands on your waist. The two of you started at each other.

“Fuck” she breathed before you kissed her again.

☆ Milf Abby who jumps up when she heard Aubrey yell “ew!”

☆ Milf Abby who was really embarrassed.

☆ Milf Abby who turned as red as a tomato, she felt like a teenager being caught in the act.

“Why did you go on your knees?” you asked, still heavily breathing.

“it’s a way of showing submission” she shrugs.

“I’m trying to show you that you have me, despite our age difference” Abby explained.

“I’d let you do anything to me” she confessed.

☆ Milf Abby who goes home that night and smile the whole time.

☆ Milf Abby who keeps touching her lips, because yours were there.

☆ Milf Abby who apologizes to Aubrey for seeing such an act.

“It’s ok” the little girl reassured her.

“Now go get her before Heathers dad does”

☆ Milf Abby who shows up to school the next day to bring you lunch.

☆ Milf Abby who spells out the words “May i be your girlfriend?” with different fruit in the lunch box. All you did was smile at the sight.

☆ Milf Abby who was chewing her nails, waiting for your response.

“This is very romantic Anderson” you spoke. She watched as you but the lunch box on the table, you walked towards her.

“Get on your knees Abby” and she did so immediately.

“Why?” she asked while being on her knees.

“you’re too tall, I can’t kiss you when you’re standing”

The two of you shared a quick kiss.

“So is it a yes?” Abby asked, her lips inches away from yours.

“Yeah”

“Fuck yes” she breathed as she got up, picking you up and placing you on your desk. The two of you shared another kiss before you pulled away.

“Promise me something”

“What?”

“No more ghosting”

“yes ma’am”

“you’ll tell me if you feel insecure”

“yes”

“and one more thing Abby”

“what?”

“you aren’t too old for me. I like my women mature” you added as you wrapped your arms around her neck. Abby chuckled.

☆ Milf Abby who wanted to kiss you again before she heard your daughter yell “fucking finally” as she stood at the door.

“Who taught you that word?”

“grandpa did”

“of course he did”

☆ Milf Abby who was the happiest women ever, since that moment.

☆ Milf Abby who knew you were the one.

☆ Milf Abby who already goes wedding ring shopping and who plans your future together despite only dating you for 2 days at that point.  

My pookies (the tag list): @mousymaven @lia-winther @zombholic

[reigningqueenofwords]

Impossible

Pairing: Dean x Reader Word count: 1,117 Request: @smoothdogsgir reader finds out she’s pregnant after Dean’s run in with the Hellhounds, She stays with Bobby and is there when he comes back 4 months later, both getting a nice surprise.

Read on AO3

Dean had been up front with you after he made his deal. You’d been seeing him for six months at the time, and he wanted to give you an out. You fought all weekend about it. He wanted you to go and live your life. You wanted to spend his last year with him.

You’d won. 

As the clock ticked closer and closer to the deadline, your stomach sank. You knew this was coming, but how did you prepare for something like that? The answer was simple. You didn’t.

Having been sick, you stayed back while the boys went on a last ditch effort to save Dean’s soul. You argued that you needed to be there, you had to be there. He’d kissed you deeply, tears in his eyes, and told you he loved you. Then, he’d walked out the front door. The second you heard the roar of the Impala, you fell to the ground, sobbing.

When you’d heard the door open, you had no idea how much time had passed since he’d left. You had been in a trance. Sam walked in, bloody, and crying. You lost it all over again, clinging to him. He’d lost a brother, and you felt as if you’d lost your soul mate.

At first, neither of you spoke all that much. It was hard on both of you. Finally, it was you who broke. You’d realized you’d missed a couple periods, and went to get a pregnancy test. Figuring it was all the stress the three of you had been under. Which would also explain you not even noticing.

Two weeks to the day of Dean’s soul being dragged off by hellhounds, you took the pregnancy test. You took it as soon as you woke up, still sleepy. You didn’t have to wait the three minutes. The positive came right away. You were pregnant. With Dean’s baby. Dean, who’s soul now belonged to hell. Who would be tortured, and would never know of his unborn child.

Covering your mouth, you sobbed, your other hand going to your stomach. It felt like you lost him all over again, only now you would have a reminder for the rest of your life. You’d look into a child’s eyes, and think of that heartbreaking good bye. How would you explain that to your child? That their father wasn’t there, because of a deal he made.

You walked out of the bathroom looking pale, wet streaks down your face. If Sam hadn’t known better, he would have thought you were a ghost. “I’m pregnant, Sammy.” You breathed, not looking up. Saying them out loud brought on another bought of tears.

Once you’d accepted that you were pregnant, you quit hunting. However, you weren’t comfortable enough (or financially stable enough) to go out on your own. So, you packed up your little car, hugged Sammy good bye, and drove to Bobby’s. You had called him and explained everything, sobbing over the phone. Without a hesitation, he opened his home to you.

It was an adjustment for both of you, but after some time, things went smoothly. You started helping out with research as much as you could, helping clean, and running errands for him. In return, he helped you clean out a spare room, and revamp it into a nursery. He’d become like an Uncle to you, and you were beyond thankful to him.

Before you knew it, you were six months pregnant. You’d been a bit late on getting into the ultrasound to find out what you were having- you should have gone the month before, so you were excited to reveal to Bobby what you were having. Pulling up to the front of the house, you grabbed your purse, and the ultrasound pictures, before sliding out of the car.

“Bobby!” You called out as you opened the front door, eyes on the pictures. “So, you owe me ten bucks. I’m having a girl!” You laughed. Looking up, you screamed and dropped everything. Your eyes went wide. “BOBBY!”

Dean stared at you, his eyes going to your rounded stomach. “Baby?” He breathed.

Bobby rushed out and sighed. “Idjit. I told you to stay back.”

“You didn’t tell me she was staying here.” Dean snapped.

“Am I going insane here? Because…that can’t be Dean.” You pointed at Dean.

“I’ll explain in a minute, let me get these for you.” Bobby said, crouching to get the pictures and your purse. “Here.” He handed them to you. “Come on, I’ll get you a glass of juice.”

Nodding, you followed Bobby, looked at Dean as you passed. He looked like your Dean, but that was impossible.

“That’s Dean?” You asked, tearing up. Bobby nodded. “How? He’s been dead for four months!”

Dean shrugged. “I don’t even know. Something pulled me from hell.”

You were sitting at the kitchen table, drinking your juice. Your feet were up on another chair, your hand resting on your stomach. “I need to process this. I’m going to lay down.” You sighed, putting your feet down and getting up.

The two men watched you go, and it was Bobby who spoke up first. “She’s six months pregnant. Baby’s yours.” He said quietly. “She was barely holding it together when she got here. Finally, as time went by, and we started working on the nursery, her mood seemed to improve. She still cries herself to sleep some nights, but not like before.”

“She said she’s having a girl.” Dean told him.

“Go on, ya idjit. Go comfort her.”

“Thanks, Bobby.” He gave him a small smile before heading upstairs.

You were laying on your side when you heard your door open. Without looking, you knew it was Dean. “I’m sorry I walked out, Dean. It’s just a hard thing to process.” You said quietly.

“Don’t be sorry. I’m back from the dead, that would be a lot for anyone.” He said as he quietly closed the door. You heard his boots hit the floor as he took them off, smiling slightly to yourself. “My first thought was getting to you. I figured the best place to start was Bobby’s. If anyone knew where to find you, it’d be him.” Feeling the bed dip, you closed your eyes. “I didn’t think I’d come here, find you, and get the shocking surprise that we’re having a little girl.” The emotion was clear in his voice. He laid behind you, his face in your neck, his arm around your waist, and his hand on your stomach.

Your fingers laced with his moments before she kicked. “I think she knows Daddy’s home.” You said quietly.

You felt  him smile. “Daddy’s home, and he’s not going anywhere.”

[bones4thecats]

Hi, I would like to request Goku, Bardock, and Gohan play fighting with their child/children if that’s ok?

The Saiyans Play-Fighting w/ their Kids

Characters: Son Goku, Bardock, and Son Gohan Requester: @crispy-qw A/N: I drank an entire bottle of water writing this. I'm pretty sure I mentally sobbed writing all this fluff... ⚠️ Spoilers/Trigger Warnings for: Pure tear-jerking fluff ⚠️

Disclaimer: The timeline in Bardock's part is diverse from the canon

╔══════════════════════════════════════════╗

╚═════ Son Goku ══════════════════════════════╝

🍜 When you found out you were pregnant, Goku was very happy. Ever since he heard stories from ChiChi about how her father raised her when they were younger, he just wanted that bond with someone

🍜 It was at the time your oldest boy, Gohan, was born that Goku's nerves all calmed down. While he was nervous that someone would come down and harm his family, these nerves just got pushed away in favor of spending time with you and his boy

🍜 Goku is an amazing father, no doubt. And this is always proven when he would play fight with his two boys. Gohan would normally spend his time reading and learning while Goten, your second, would want to train with his dad and Uncle Piccolo

🍜 That day in particular, you had come home from a check-up with Bulma, who was making sure your third-baby, an unnamed girl, was doing well in your womb. You had just closed your door when you heard the sound of cheers coming from your backyard

🍜 Walking outside once again, you saw your husband and two sons messing around. They certainly weren't using their full strength as they messed around. Goku would mainly wrestle them in the air as they tried escaping his grasp, testing their physical strength

🍜 You smiled as the boys played around. It was always nice to see the three of them bond, especially since in nine weeks you would be delivering the second girl of the family. They needed to get their manliness out sooner rather than later

🍜 While you would normally sit down and watch them play, you needed to get some sleep, spending over an hour around Vegeta, Bulma, and Trunks could get exhausting for a woman after all... especially when Vegeta was being held down because he was sick

🍜 As you closed the backdoor behind you, you could hear the three boys laughing together along with a crash of them landing on the ground. This was the family you always dreamed of having. Thank Kami you got it

╔══════════════════════════════════════════╗

╚═════ Bardock ═══════════════════════════════╝

🛡️ Bardock and you always knew you wanted children, but as you were both warriors, this had to be held back for a while. And when you guys finally settled down, you had your two boys, Raditz and Kakarot

🛡️ Raditz was far more into being a warrior than Kakarot, as he would be out wrestling with other Saiyans while your younger would train by himself, only being joined by a select few of other Saiyans he considered to be friends

🛡️ Due to the power your husband sensed in them, he began to train his sons very diligently. Almost always helping them outside while you would mainly stayed inside and would handle more medical-related topics, almost always being called away to treat some Saiyan warriors who's pride went to their head

🛡️ You were called away the same day that Kakarot and Raditz were home from training with the army. Bardock had been with them due to an injury that came to his legs during a battle, leaving him to be home-ridden for a few days

🛡️ When you finally arrived home from handling almost fourteen whole teams of warrior's injuries, you could hear laughing and smashes coming from behind your home, leading you to laying your supplies down and walking out to find your family of boys training together

🛡️ Well, training isn't the best word. They were more tackling and wrestling one another. And it was so cute for you to watch after seeing so many grizzly injuries on your people from fights planets away

🛡️ Bardock eventually excused himself from his sons, telling them to keep up their skills. He then turned from his bickering children to his wife, whom stood there as her tail swayed gently in adoration at their actions together

"Welcome home, Y/N."

"It's good to see you bonding with the boys, Bardock."

"I know. I'm enjoying this time with them."

"You better. I did not spend so much time helping create them for you to not like them." You said.

"Don't worry, I don't just like them. I love them, they're the best sons a Saiyan could ask for."

╔══════════════════════════════════════════╗

╚═════ Son Gohan ═════════════════════════════╝

📚 Because Gohan's job took up a lot of his time, he couldn't always be around as much as he wanted to be. But whenever he did have free time, he would grab you from behind and cuddle with you, relaxing and talking about whatever's been going on in your personal lives

📚 But, after you gave birth to your daughter, Pan, Gohan had been trying to be around her more. It was difficult, but he did succeed at bonding with her most of the time

📚 You could not be more happy than to watch her bond with both her father and the man he considered to be a part of your family, that being your Namekian-ally, Piccolo

📚 Just watching as Piccolo trained her was nice, but seeing your husband take some time off to help with his daughter's development was just better in your opinion. Witnessing the closeness that your family had, no matter is blood relation was involved, was beyond wondrous

📚 One lovely day, your mother-in-law, ChiChi, had wanted to spend some time with you, to which you agreed and called up Piccolo, asking if he could babysit Pan while you left and Gohan was working. The Namekian agreed and said he'd arrive shortly, allowing you to get ready and leave

📚 You spent around two hours with your in-laws before you left, missing your daughter and husband dearly. Stepping in the backyard, you were shocked to see Gohan in his old uniform, trying to teach Pan how to throw a punch gently. He always said he hated fighting while you were together, but he did love his daughter, so maybe his love for her surpassed that

📚 Walking up and sitting beside Piccolo as he watched the two human-Saiyan hybrids, you asked how long they had been doing this and what he did to get Gohan out of his office

"Just Pan's baby-eyes did the trick. They've been doing this for around 20 minutes, Gohan's been teaching her simple fighting moves. Kicking, punching, even slapping... don't know why the last one though."

"Eh, you never know." You giggled.

📚 Piccolo smiled as Gohan tried teaching Pan to fly, resulting in her falling on her butt and him panicking and looking for any kind of wound on her body. You sometimes wonder if you married a hypochondriac

[kinardsevan]

wip Thursday

tagged by the effervescent @perfectlysunny02, and in the same vein as them, don't I have a million WIPs? Yes, yes I do. But also, I mentioned this idea last week. And... well... oops? (And it's entirely their fault because of the violence they chose with THEIR teaser today.)

Alas, I give you unnecessary, momentary, legendary (working title)

-

Tommy wasn’t supposed to be here. That’s all he could think about; he wasn’t supposed to be here. 

He’d had a full day of plans while Evan was on shift. He was supposed to stop by Harbor and pick up a package he’d had shipped there and forgot to bring home the night before. He was supposed to have lunch with Howie and Jee-Yun. He was supposed to swing by the 118 and swap keys with Evan because something was going on with the Rubicon’s engine. He was supposed to spend the afternoon figuring out if it was going to be an easy fix or not. Evan would be home before sunset. 

He wasn’t supposed to be here. 

Except, Evan was back at work after being down with a nasty virus for the past few days, and the only thing that had really been helping him feel better was the honey citrus tea from their favorite café. It wasn’t even a drink that his boyfriend cared for that much, but Tommy had introduced it to him the first time he’d gotten sick a few months into their relationship, and it had been a game changer for him. It wasn’t a cure by any means, but it definitely helped. 

He wasn’t supposed to be here. 

“Natalie?” He croaks out her name, leaning half up off of the tile floor, hand pressed into his abdomen next to his hip. He can’t see her behind the glass casing that contains the pastries, and she hasn’t said anything in a few minutes. The higher he tries to sit himself up, the more pain shoots down his side. “Nat!?” 

It takes more than a few seconds, but eventually—too long—he hears the sound of what he assumes is broken glass shifting on the floor. A small whimper. 

“T-Tommy?” 

“Nat?” He calls back, turning his head towards the back of the counter again. “Are you okay? Did he hurt you?” 

She doesn’t respond, but then he sees the familiar flurry of jello-red hair appear from behind the pastry case, and then she’s climbing over the counter, her combat boots crunching glass on the floor as she moves towards him. Tommy looks up at her, his paramedic skills immediately kicking in as he takes her in. 

She’s got a cut on her forehead and her hands are bleeding—he assumes from all the broken glass. There’s a slash across her forearm where the knife got her, bleeding pretty decently. His eyes trail down to the side of her apron, the stain spreading across it and her jeans. She’s bleeding from somewhere on her leg. His gaze drifts to the counter and the streak of blood coming across it where she crawled over. 

“N-Nat, we gotta call the cops,” he tells her warily. 

“What if he comes back,” she asks anxiously, her voice shaking as tears come down her face. She sinks to the ground next to him, ignorant of the glass on the ground around him. 

Tommy shakes his head at her, digging into his pocket with blood-coated fingers, fumbling his phone when his fingers come into contact with it. He pulls it out as he looks back up at her. 

“You gave him everything, right,” he asks her. “Didn’t fight?” 

“No,” she sobs, leaning over him. “God, Tommy, I’m so sorry.” 

He shakes his head at her, reaching for one of the napkin holders knocked onto the floor nearby. 

“I’m just glad you’re okay,” he tells her. He keeps flashing hot and cold, and he can feel himself getting clammy. He tries to focus his attention on his phone, dialing the number into it. 

“Tommy, you’re bleeding,” she cries. 

“I’m fi-…fine,” he stammers, slumping back against the floor. “We’re fine.” 

“9-1-1, what’s your emergency?” 

“5943 Ventura Boulevard,” he rattles off. “This is off-duty Rescue 1701 out of Harbor Station, I need to be transferred to Maddie Buckley.” 

“Just a moment sir.” The line clicks off for all of ten seconds, and then clicks back on. 

“9-1-1, this is Maddie Buckley speaking,” her voice comes back. There’s just the slightest hitch of anxiety in her voice, like she knows being routed to personally isn’t normal. 

“Maddie,” he rasps, squeezing his eyes shut tightly, trying to get the tears out of them. 

“Tommy,” she replies, her voice suddenly flooded with panic. “What’s going on? Is Evan- a-are you- is Howie-…” 

“They’re fine,” he chokes out. “B-but, I need RA and police. S-Stabbing at the café.” 

His head drops back against the floor, and he can feel his vision getting fuzzy. He looks over at Natalie. She looks even more panicked than she did before. His gaze drifts down to where his other hand is. Blood is completely coated over his fingers. 

“N-Nat, I need you to use your apron to apply pressure,” he rasps. 

“Stabbing?! Tommy where are you,” Maddie cries from the other end of the line. Tommy rattles the address off to her again. 

“D-dont send Evan,” he rasps at her. “God, he can’t find me. You hear me, Maddie? Don’t send him. Do not let him see me like this.” 

She hiccups a cry on the other end of the line, and there are hushed voices clearly trying to get her off the line, but she speaks clearly enough that Tommy hears when she growls ‘no’ back at whoever is trying to get her to hand the call off. 

“You know I love him, right,” he continues. Natalie presses her apron into his side then and he can’t help the cry that falls out of his mouth. “F-fuck. M-Maddie?” 

“I know,” she cries. “Stay with me, Tommy. Don’t hang up on me.” 

He nods letting his head rest back against the floor. 

“No, come on, Tommy,” Natalie cries, pressing harder into his wounds. “Come on. Stay awake.” 

“Trying,” he murmurs, looking around the floor. “I-I, I want to marry him, you know,” he tells Maddie. “He just walked into my life like- like he was always supposed to be here. And I thought I’d lost out on my chance by taking too long to figure my shit out. Fuck, Nat. Yeah, that’s good, keep pushing down.” 

“He talks about you being it for him all the time,” Maddie replies. He can tell she’s crying. “Keeps telling me that he thinks you’ll be a great dad.” 

Tommy lets out a small laugh and then groans at the wave of pain that shoots across his abdomen and stomach. 

“I wasn’t sure, before him,” he replies, letting his eyes slip shut. The phone starts to sag in his hand, but the cry of Natalie’s voice and sudden, sharp pressure on his side has his eyes shooting open again. “Fuck, okay. Okay.” He swallows hard, taking a breath. “B-but if anyone could convince me that we could do it together, it’s him.” 

Maddie hiccups another sob. “I’ve watched him lose one relationship after another, think what he’s holding onto is the right one while knowing it isn’t. But I never said anything because I was just his sister, you know? And I know you said he walked into your life, but you spun into his with a literal hurricane and I’ve never seen him… I don’t even know, Tommy. This settled? Happy? Secure?” 

“H-he deserves it,” Tommy rasps, his head lolling back and eyes getting heavier. 

“Damn it, Tommy, come on,” Natalie cries. “Stay awake, please.” 

“s’getting harder,” Tommy slurs. “Maddie, I love him. So much more than I’ve ever loved anyone else. Want him more, dream about him more, choose him more. My life begins and ends at Evan Buckley.” The tears swimming in his eyes finally slip down the side of his face, his vision tight now, and extremely hazy. 

“Tommy, stay with me,” Maddie cries. Her voice seems farther away now. “The ambulance is so close. Please?” 

“Tell him I love him more than anything else,” he replies, coughing out another groan. “That I choose him. Every day, all the time. I pick him.” He pauses for a moment, his eyes too heavy to open back up. “I love you, Evan.” 

[forest-hashira]

2 Be Loved

this has sat in my drafts for... idk exactly how long, a month at least, because i was trying to decide if i even wanted to post it here. i wrote this for myself when i was Going Through It with my depression. now that i've sat on it a while, and i've generally been doing better, i've decided it's time to go ahead and share this. i hope you all enjoy it, and that it brings you some level of comfort or reassurance if you need it 💜

read on ao3 here | wc: ~2.4k | cw: gender neutral reader, plus size reader, mental health issues (reader is in a depressive episode), emotional hurt/comfort, some fluff at the end, really this is very self ship coded

You’d spent practically the whole day in bed. And the day before that, and the day before that, and probably the day before that, too. You’d lost count, honestly; all the days bleeding together and blurring in the fog of your mind. 

This was far from the first time this had happened, and you knew it would also be far from the last. Your emotional state had been a rollercoaster for most of your life, and had only become more volatile in the last few years. You would be fine, until you suddenly realized you were decidedly not fine, with some realizations being more gentle than others.

Like this time, for example. You hadn’t suddenly buckled under the weight of the world, but instead had woken up one morning and felt paralyzed; even just the idea of getting out of bed, for any reason, felt insurmountable. So you simply… didn’t. You stayed in bed and slept between episodes of your favorite TV show, grasping for anything that might stop you from sinking further into the depths of your depression. 

Satoru had been as patient as ever, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead and whispering a little “I love you,” before he’d left for work. He knew you struggled this way sometimes, and had never been anything but supportive and loving. Suguru had called in “sick”, opting to spend the day taking care of you, which mostly consisted of slipping in and out of sleep all day and occasionally bringing a snack from the kitchen. Satoru had joined you back in bed as soon as he got home from work, effectively squishing you between himself and Suguru, where you were helpless to do anything but let them love you.

It had reduced you to tears, shoulders shaking as ugly, half choked sobs tore themselves from your chest. They had let you cry, not rushing to try and quiet you as they might have done when they were younger; they let you get it out of your system, only stepping in to comfort you when you started to speak. 

“I’m sorry,” you’d cried, eyes shut tight as you tried to avoid their gaze. “I’m sorry I’m…” you’d struggled for words then, losing them between your hiccuping sobs and the darkness that clouded your mind. 

“I’m too much,” you’d come up with eventually. “My emotions are too messy, and my mind doesn’t work right… I feel like all I do is cause problems for both of you. Like all I do is hold you back and drag you down.”

You hadn’t seen the look they’d exchanged, the pain that pinched their features, but you had felt the way they pressed in closer, as if they could crush the depression out of you. 

“You are not too much,” Satoru had murmured, gently tilting your head up to meet his gaze, his cerulean eyes sparkling in the low light from the lamp on your bedside table. “You could never be too much, not to me – to us.” His thumb brushed lightly along your cheekbone, delicately wiping the tears from your skin even as they were replaced with more. “We love you so much, y’know? I love you so much. Taking care of you is not a chore, or a burden.”

You’d shaken your head, unable to believe his words. “You can’t possibly mean that.”

“But we do,” Suguru had been the one to speak that time. “You mean it when you tell me the same thing when I’m depressed, right?”

“Of course I do.” There wasn’t any hesitation as the words left your lips. “Taking care of you is a privilege.”

“Then why can’t you believe we feel the same way about taking care of you?”

His words had left you reeling, so much so that you almost didn’t hear Suguru when he continued. 

“Satoru’s right, angel. I love you. We adore you, and we want to take care of you. Always.”

As Suguru had hugged you tighter with one arm and pressed gentle kisses to your shoulder, he’d placed his other hand on your white haired lover’s hip, keeping him as close as possible. Satoru had been eager to oblige, snuggling into you as much as possible. He’d brushed your hair from your face and pressed a kiss to your forehead, one hand cradling your face while the other reached across you to settle on Suguru’s hip. They had effectively caged you in, both with their bodies and with their love. It had shattered you, reduced you to tears again, but they hadn’t minded; they were there to hold you together, to pick up the pieces when you couldn’t do it alone. 

Through some unspoken agreement, your boys switched places the next day; Suguru had gone into work while Satoru had called out “sick” to take care of you. They did their best not to leave you alone for too long whenever they could help it, but they could only get away with calling out sick when everyone knew the two of them were perfectly healthy; when the higher ups knew that you were the one keeping the two special grades and teachers from fully doing their jobs.

A few days passed with your lovers taking turns staying home with you, until one day they both called out to stay home, though you didn’t realize that at first, since Suguru was quick to return to you in bed, holding you close as you drifted off again, faintly away of the sound of the front door closing and locking before you were fully asleep. 

When you woke up again, the first thing you were aware of was the fact that you were alone in bed. At almost the same moment, though, you heard music coming from what you guessed what the kitchen, though you couldn’t quite tell, since the bedroom door was shut; wherever it was coming from, it was definitely upbeat pop music, so you knew for certain Satoru was the one who had turned it on.

With no small amount of effort, you pushed yourself into a sitting position, rubbing your eyes for a moment and yawning before you crawled off the bed on Satoru’s side. You shuffled over to the dresser then, opening drawers and grabbing clothes pretty much at random. You wound up in a black sweatshirt and a pair of light blue sweatpants, both of which were at least two sizes too big for you, which even your fuzzy brain knew meant they weren’t actually your clothes; they belonged to your two giants of lovers.

Once you were dressed, you turned back to the nightstand, grabbing one of Suguru’s hair ties to pull your hair out of your face with, and, after a deep breath, you decided to brave the kitchen.

Opening the door to the bedroom allowed you to fully hear the music that was playing, and you were a little surprised to realize it was in English, rather than Japanese. Satoru liked to listen to anything that was happy and upbeat enough, but he – understandably – had a bit of a preference for J pop music. 

Still a little surprised by the music choice and a little foggy from sleep, you make your way to the kitchen in a bit of a daze. Both Satoru and Suguru were in the kitchen: Suguru at the counter, mixing something in the stand mixer, while Satoru danced around to the music, occasionally trying to steal a bit of whatever Suguru had in the mixing bowl, and being effectively swatted away every time. You stood in the doorway for a few moments in silence, just watching them in utter adoration.

Eventually, though, Satoru noticed you, and he got a bright grin on his face as he raced over to you. “You got out of bed!” he gushed, wrapping you up in a tight hug and pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “I’m so proud of you, mochi,” he murmured against your scalp, and something about the nickname in combination with the praise made you feel like you were going to melt into a puddle right then and there. 

Just as suddenly as he had engulfed you in a hug, the white haired sorcerer was releasing you, lunging for where he’d left his phone on the counter by the bluetooth speaker he was using for the music. You watched curiously as he opened his playlist, hastily skipping through a handful of songs before he got to the one he was apparently looking for. Seeming pleased with himself, he made sure the song was playing, turned the volume up a little bit, then turned back to you with that sparkling grin of his. 

You blinked in surprise when you heard the singer’s voice, and you looked up at him with a look of complete bafflement. “I didn’t know you listened to Lizzo.”

He sighed dramatically and rolled his eyes. “No, baby, you gotta listen to the lyrics!” he insisted, taking your hands and doing a very small little dance with you right there in the doorway. 

Though part of you wanted to argue, you had never been good at resisting your energetic lover, and this time was no exception. Before you even nodded, Satoru already knew you’d given in to him, and he pulled you a bit closer to himself as he started singing along with the lyrics. And not quietly, either: he sang them with all the enthusiasm in his body, and though you hated to admit it, it was contagious, even in your depressed state.

By the end of the first verse, you were smiling, a small laugh escaping you at your lover’s almost puppyish behavior. When the chorus came around, you started singing along as well, and you noticed belatedly that Satoru was singing the lines of the background singers, rather than the main chorus, like you were. 

“Am I ready?”

“You deserve it now.”

“‘Cause I want it!”

“That’s what I’m talkin’ about.”

“Am I ready?”

“You gon’ figure it out.”

“To be loved, to be loved.”

Your singing faltered then, and you stared up at Satoru for a moment, suddenly realizing why he’d picked this song to serenade you with. He stopped singing as well, smiling gently down at you as he watched you fit the puzzle pieces together in your mind.

“We’ve always been ready to love you.”

The sound of Suguru’s voice from behind you caused you to startle a bit, but you looked up at him with wide, disbelieving eyes. 

“Are you ready to let us love you again?” His tone held no resentment, no bitterness, only gentle adoration, and you were certain that if Satoru didn’t still have a solid grip on your hands, you would have sunk to your knees with the overwhelming realization of how much these two men adored you, despite how much your mind sometimes tried to convince you they shouldn’t.

Unable to find your voice, you nodded, blinking back the tears that threatened to spill down your cheeks. You allowed your eyes to flutter shut for a moment as Suguru leaned down and pressed a kiss to the top of your head, but just a few seconds later, Satoru was tugging you back into his space, spinning you around so your back was to his chest. The song was still playing and he was apparently still determined to get you to dance with him.

Suguru laughed softly at his lover’s antics, shaking his head slightly at Satoru and offering you a slight shrug when you looked up at him for some sort of explanation.

Now the subject of Satoru’s whims, you allowed him to dance around the kitchen with you in his arms, still singing along with the song, though now his volume was lower, as he sang the words down at you. You smiled, allowing yourself to get lost in the warmth of his love, even if his fingers were cold where they wrapped around your own. 

“He call me Melly, he squeeze my belly.”

Your eyes flew open as Satoru sang the words, his chilly hands coming down to squeeze at the soft flesh of your stomach, the touch pulling a rather undignified squeak from your lips, but he just continued to beam down at you. He wasn’t going along with the lyrics of the song to make fun of you – he’d expressed to you enough times that he adored the soft pudginess of your body for you to know he meant it – but it still surprised every time he made sure to pay special attention to the squishier parts of you.

The sound of your squeak pulled another laugh from Suguru, and though at first you were planning to glare at him, you couldn’t go through with it; not when his expression was full of so much love and relief. He crossed the kitchen to reach you again, whatever was in the mixer long forgotten in favor of you. When he reached out for you, going to him was easier than breathing. He pulled you close, pressing his lips to the crown of your head as he swayed around the kitchen with you. The movement didn’t match the energy of the song at all, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to care. You were safe and secure in his arms, and Satoru had enough energy for all three of you; it was impossible not to watch him as he danced around the kitchen, white hair and blue eyes shining, and he flashed you that brilliant grin of his every time he caught your gaze. 

Things weren’t suddenly perfect; Lizzo and dancing in the kitchen was not a magical fix-it for the irregularities in your emotional state, but it was certainly a stepping stone back to your normal. And you knew, without any doubt in your mind, that you would have the support and full confidence of your lovers behind you every step of the way. They were your way back to yourself, after all. Suguru was your anchor in stormy seas, tethering you to something real, something sturdy; Satoru was the lighthouse calling you home when the waters calmed enough for you to move again.

i hope you guys have enjoyed seeing some of my other stuff i hadn't yet shared here! though i can't promise when i'll have anything new, know that i am working on things now + am preparing things for my upcoming milestone event!!! take care of yourselves as best you can 💜. divider by cafekitsune

tagging: @kentohours @mitsuristoleme @marinnnnnnnnn @witchbybirth @peachdues

[newkatzkafe2023]

Hear me out; gn reader with narcolepsy who passes out close to Wukong, and it freaks him out so badly 🥺🥺 poor guy is just so worried about his love

Oh no

(Lmk Wukong) Oh man this isn't good for him. It happens one day when he finishes training mk and he went to check on you. When he called for you and found you on the ground unconscious. He froze and felt his who life flash before his eyes and hyperventilating like crazy, he flew you to the hospital immediately While he has his own panic attack. Later that day you woke up and the doctor let's you husband in after tending to a crying Wukong who felt like he was about to lose everything, the doctor told you that you had Narcolepsy and with that Wukong listen and retain all the info on how to take care of you.

(HIB Wukong) Oh you definitely scared the sh*t of him. Not just him but your whole little family You were literally just walking down the road with him. When you felt very tired and before you could call for Wukong you passed out right there. Hours later you woke up at home to a crying Luier and Silly girl as the two felt helpless on how to help you when Silly girl noticed you awake. Silly girl's crys of mama made Wukong came in to see your awake and everyone pulled you into a group hug. That's when you told your family that you had narcolepsy.

(NR Wukong) Oh man let's not scare the old man immortal because that's Exactly what happened. We were talking to him one afternoon when everything for you went dark and we hit the floor. Wukong freak out Entirely and I'm pretty sure he broke every traffic law on his way to the Hospital. After a few hours you woke up to him sleeping on your bed with tear marks on his face You had that old monkey worried sick about you. And when he woke up he smothered you with affection Sobbing hysterically in relief when the doctor told him about your Narcolepsy, he made sure to follow Strict instructions on how to take care of you.

(MKR Wukong) Ohhhhhhhhhh Yikes😬😬😬 you were playing with fruity when it happened. You played hide and seek and went to hide for fruity to find you, when suddenly you fell unconscious. Fruity spent hours looking for you but when he did he started crying which alerted Wukong and came to find your unconscious body on the ground. Now knowing him he's going to assume somebody attack you and fly into a fit of Blind rage, swearing revenge on your attacker when you woke up. Wukong was relieved and then demanded to know who attacked you and after calming him down you told him about your Narcolepsy. He may not understand it at first but he already hates it and what it does to you.

(Netflix Wukong) Oh maaaaaaaaaaan This is breaking my heart😥. Bro has lost so much even when It seemed like there was nothing left for anybody to take but you....😟. He definitely has a nervous breakdown because you dropped right in front of him and did not respond at all. He dragged you to the doctor, crying and begging them to help you because he couldn't lose you. What's the point of immortality if he can spend it with you😥 and after a few hours you woke up like nothing happened at the doctor's office. Netflix smothered you with kisses in relief, thanking Every God out there for giving him another chance with you. I guess you can tell him about your narcolepsy once he calms down.😦

FEEL FREE TO REBLOG😴

[moni-logues]

Deer Tracks

Pairing: Namjoon x f. reader (Suri); A Fine Line couple

Genre: slice of life? a little angst a little fluff? established relationship

Summary:

Beautiful, sobbing high-geared fucking and then to lie silently like deer tracks in the freshly-fallen snow beside the one you love. That's all. (Deer Tracks, by Richard Brautigan)

Word count: 3.2k

Content: implicit smut (piv), that's really it tbh

A/N: Anon, this is for yoooooouuuu! And for anyone else who loves the AFL couple like I do lol my first babies, my special little creatures haha. I have genuinely had this bonus chapter/drabble/whatever you want to call it in mind since I finished writing the series. I have thought of it SO often and, truthfully, never got to the end, never quite figured out in my head how I was going to pull it together. But I'm happy with what I did and I hope you are too!!! Also shout out to sunny for finding this poem for me when I couldn't months and months ago.

*~*

You lay in your bed, staring at the ceiling, legs swishing idly against the sheets, as if making snow angels out of them, but only the bottom half. And there was no snow. And you weren’t having fun. Sleep wouldn’t come. You had learnt that. It wouldn’t come until the smallest hours of the morning, when exhaustion finally gripped you and pulled you under. Then you would wake a few hours later, unrested, and do it all again. 

It was self-inflicted. You knew that, too. You knew that you were doing this to yourself. You were sleeping in your own bed. Namjoon slept next door. You didn’t have to wonder if he was asleep because you could faintly make out the sound of his snoring even through the wall.  

Things weren’t going well and you weren’t dealing with it. You were making it Namjoon’s problem, making yourself Namjoon’s problem. He knew it was happening. You knew it was happening. He didn’t have the power to stop you. You didn’t think you did, either. Even though you wanted to. You could feel all your worst instincts clawing at you, invisible hands crawling over the edge of the bed to pull you apart, pull your life apart. You wanted to resist them and you wanted them to devour you, both at the same time.  

You loved him. You were in love with him. That was the problem. That was the thing that kept you up at night. The anxiety of it screamed at you and, sometimes, you could block it out; sometimes, he would kiss you and you would melt into him and everything felt golden; other times, more often recently, he would kiss you and you’d feel sick. Sick because you wanted to escape. Sick because you wanted him to stop seeing you. Sick because you loved him. Sick because he made you happier than you thought you would ever be again. Sick because it all terrified you.  

So you pulled away. You pulled yourself back into your shell, set up spikes around it, were erratic and irrational about who got access to you and when.  

You were sleeping in your own bed.  

* 

Namjoon had, weeks ago now, planned a sweet winter getaway. Just a long weekend. There was astronomical stuff happening: a big moon, some meteors, something that he would tell you about as you sat, breath puffing in front of you, huddled together outside a cabin, looking at it all. He had said you wouldn’t be able to see it well in the city; he was going to book somewhere remote, where the sky would be dark and clear. You had wondered why it mattered so much but matter it did, to Namjoon, so you had agreed, looked forward to it.  

Until you had realised you loved him. Until he had come home one day, late and tired, and a choir had started singing in your heart. There had been nothing special about that day, not at all, but you had looked at him and he had smiled at you—crinkly-eyed and deep-dimpled—and something inside you had bloomed. It was love. It was horror. 

* 

You wanted him to cancel. To say, ok this is a bad idea, let’s not go and spend 72 hours in each other’s company with no escape and nowhere else to go. Because you wouldn’t say it but you didn’t want to go. You were fighting with yourself not to run, not to scarper, not to dig yourself a hole in the ground and live there instead. You could convince yourself you were coping while you had work to distract you with (and Namjoon had his work, too). But a weekend in the country? You wouldn’t be able to get away from it if you couldn’t get away from him.  

There was a slightly tentative knock at the door. 

“Yeah?” you called. 

Namjoon poked his head around.  

“I know we talked about heading up a little later but they’re forecasting snow so I think we should get an earlier train, is that ok?” 

No. 

“What time is that?” 

“Probably around 9.” 

“Ok.” 

He nodded, hesitated at the door for a second, then nodded again, leaving you to it. You felt sick again. Terrified. Half of you wanted to run out to him, to tell him to please never, ever let you go. Half of you wanted to run.  

* 

The train was slow because the forecast had been partially right: it was snowing, but it was snowing earlier and heavier than predicted. The journey from the train station to the cabin was even worse. Namjoon couldn’t drive; somehow, you had gone all this time not knowing that. You had also forgotten that he had mentioned something about renting a car when he first brought up this trip.  

You hadn’t driven for years. Hadn’t needed to. Wouldn’t have been able to afford a car anyway. You were anxious. You were already anxious and now you had to drive winding roads on forested hills while the snow fell thick like cotton balls.  

“I’m not fucking doing it,” you said, as you and Namjoon stood outside the car rental place.  

“We don’t have any other way of getting there.” 

“Taxi?” 

“They won’t go. I already asked.” 

“Well then how do we get there? I'm not fucking driving.” 

“Suri, plea-” 

“No! I said no! I hate driving. I can’t drive! I won’t!” 

“You said you have a licence.” 

“Yes, I have a licence but I haven’t needed it for years. You seriously expect me to drive in this? I’ll kill us both.” 

Namjoon pulled his beanie from his head with a sigh and then fixed it back in place.  

“I’m sorry. This was not how I planned it. I didn’t know the weather would be this bad, but can you please drive? We can take it slow—everyone else will be driving slowly, too. I promise it’ll be worth it when we get there.” 

You knew it was an argument you couldn’t win because, short of going straight back home, there were no other options. With the way the snow was falling, it was even possible that there wouldn’t be any trains running anyway. You offered him your best scowl and stomped inside to pick up the keys. You wanted to argue, but you wanted to get out of the cold. 

* 

The journey was almost painfully tense. Driving, as it turned out, was quite a lot like riding a bike and, even with the snow, you coped pretty well: drove carefully, took corners slowly, made it to the cabin in a little under an hour. But you held onto your anger like a security blanket. It was, in some ways, a relief to be able to cling to it, rather than being tossed about in the waves of your anxiety. Anger was safe. Anger kept people away. Kept Namjoon away.  

You were hoping for blessed relief from the cold. You were expecting to open the door and be hit with a wall of warmth, fire lit, heating on, a small side lamp illuminating just enough of the space that you could find your way to the light switch. 

It was dark. It was just as cold inside as it was out. You stood in the entry way and clenched your teeth together while Namjoon fumbled with the thermostat.  

“I’m hungry,” you announced when nothing more had happened a minute later. 

“Ok, yeah, we can eat in a sec. Let me just figure this out.” 

“What do we have to eat?” 

“I don’t know, babe; I think there’s something in that bag.” 

Namjoon gestured vaguely to the pile of bags next to you, which told you nothing. You inhaled, preparing to heave an aggrieved sigh when Namjoon straightened and looked at you. 

“I know, ok? I know. I’m sorry. This isn’t like I wanted it to be either.”  

Sentences short, clipped, like he was fighting his own frustration. He probably was. You were being a brat. You knew it. You were making yourself his problem. You were pushing buttons.  

Somehow, this time, it didn’t feel like victory. It felt like defeat.  

You let your sigh fall and stomped past him, flopping onto the sofa still in all your winter stuff. He turned back to the thermostat. 

* 

It remained tense and quiet for the rest of the evening and when you (fully clothed with a jumper and socks on) slipped into bed next to Namjoon (also fully clothed), you had deflated. You couldn’t sustain your anger that long, not when Namjoon didn’t fight back.  

“I’m sorry,” you said, chewing on the inside of your lip, eyes cast down.  

Namjoon leant over and pressed a kiss to your hair. 

“I’m sorry, too. This isn’t what I wanted.”  

You bit harder on your lip when you felt it wobble.  

“I just thought it would be nice to get away. The sky isn’t even fucking clear because of the snow. I should’ve planned this be-” 

“No,” you said, interrupting. “I’m just being pissy.” 

“Yeah...” He paused. “About that-” 

“I’m sorry.”  

You didn’t want him to ask, didn’t want to talk about it. Didn’t want to have to admit it, finally, that you loved him. Certainly not after that day.  

“I...”  

You hesitated because you could feel your heart thumping and that prickling sensation on your skin that said you were stripping yourself bare. “It’s just me. It’s not you. I... I’m not trying to be a dick. Well, I guess, I-... I’m sorry.”  

You risked a glance at him. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close. He pressed another kiss into your hair. You closed your eyes and felt your limbs loosen, something inside of you unlocking, allowing you to relax into the warmth of his body.  

“It’s ok,” he whispered. “As long as you’re here.” 

You nodded.  

“I’m here.” 

You raised your face as he went to kiss your head again and he caught your eyebrow. You didn’t give him the opportunity to laugh or say anything; you put your lips against his, turned your body towards him, and hoped you could say without saying the thing that burnt inside you. 

* 

It somehow felt like it had been a long time. That the nights that had passed since the last time he was between your thighs had stretched into weeks, elongated themselves in your memory and your body, so that every touch, every movement felt like remembering. Felt like something almost lost but found again. Felt, as it always did, like something coming together within you. Never more in your body than when he was, too. It grounded you. It brought you closer to yourself, closer to him, as though they were one and the same.  

“F-uck!” you cried, gasping and panting as you tried to hold on, wanting this to last.  

You were so close to it, to letting all that pleasure wash over you, drown you, take you under, but you didn’t want to go. Didn’t want to let this pass. You wanted to stay in this moment, this perfect moment, where it was just you and him and everything you did best.  

If it passed, you would have to confront it again: the fear, the terror that your love placed inside you.  

“Shit,” you swore again, but it wasn’t pleasure this time. It was frustration because you’d thought about it. Because now you were thinking about it.  

You shut your eyes. You couldn’t look at him without that painful heart swelling, that effulgent warmth that enveloped you, followed by the ice-cold trickle of anxiety. You loved him. You loved him. You loved him.  

Did he love you? Could he? Could anyone?  

Your breath hitched and you tightened your fingers around Namjoon’s arm, nails digging into his soft flesh. You could feel it welling, this feeling, these tears, brimming in your eyes, sticking to your lashes. 

The moment the first fell was the moment it all came loose. You came, cursing and crying, your body writhing, Namjoon firm and solid and stable around you. You came, hot and harried, clutching him to you like a buoy, as he held you secure and safe as he always had. You came unfastened, unbuckled, apart at the seams, flopping into him, just crying now, just crying.  

“Baby...”  

His voice was as soft as his body was not.  

“Are you ok?” 

You nodded, desperate for him to believe you as you continued to sob. He placed a hand on your head, stroking gently, the other rubbing small circles into your back.  

“It’s ok,” he whispered. “You’re ok.” 

And you loved him more because that was all he said. He didn’t push you for answers, didn’t make you reassure him. He held you and soothed you and let you be sweaty and naked and messy in his arms.  

You were shivering with the cold before the tears on your cheeks had dried. You both wordlessly re-dressed and snuggled under the bedsheets, still clinging to each other. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked.  

You knew he already knew the answer. No.  

“I’m fine,” you answered, muffled against his hoodie.  

“Can we talk about it tomorrow?”  

You nodded, because it was easier to just say yes now, to push the issue into the future. You could avoid it then, too.  

* 

Sleep didn’t come. You knew it wouldn’t, even though the cold made you tired, even though you could still feel Namjoon in every one of your muscles. You looked at Namjoon, at his face, peaceful as he slept. Not snoring, not right now. Tipped on his side, broad shoulders curled inwards. You thought about what he might see if your places were reversed. Did you look cute as you slept? Could he have lain and felt like he could look at you forever? Did it make his blood feel sweet inside him, having you close to him?  

It felt impossible. Too easy. Everyone had said it was. Namjoon had said it was. Some of it had been easy, you thought. Maybe. The parts where it was you and him and no one else. The parts when you forgot to be self-conscious, forgot to supervise yourself so strictly. The parts when you just let yourself have it—happiness—even if you didn’t think you deserved it. 

You looked towards the window, where that curious glow of snow was sneaking around the edges of the curtains. It was still dark outside, but snow had a light of its own somehow, a peculiar way of shining by itself.  

You slipped carefully out of bed, wrapping your arms around yourself, and went to look. You pulled the curtain back and it was still snowing. Fat flakes fluttering slowly to the ground which was perfectly smooth and white. Unblemished. Untarnished. A blank slate. 

You looked at the dark lump of Namjoon’s body under the covers. You were a blank slate. You had said that. Namjoon brought colour onto it. You had said that. You looked out at this perfect snowfall, the silent padding as it placed itself gently on the ground. A blank slate. Beautiful. No one had disturbed it. Not even a creature.  

You had thought of your blank slate as empty. Blank because it held nothing. Blank with a freedom that scared you because you had been worn down and made to fear it. Your blankness made you hollow and worthless.  

But this snow wasn’t. It was full. It was generous. It was giving itself to the earth. You had chosen. You had made your choice and it was Namjoon. Was always going to be Namjoon from the moment you had met him. And you had stopped fighting that.  

You thought you had stopped fighting it but you had only paused. You stopped fighting it until you started again, until love blossomed in your heart just as everything on the surface started to bury itself underground. The richness and fullness of your own spring felt wrong, at odds with the earth and at odds with what you knew. What you had come to expect. What you had come to believe was all you would ever have.  

You looked at the snow. You looked at Namjoon. You practised. 

“I love you,” you said, barely more than mouthing the words but they still felt loud in the blanketed silence of the room. “I love you.”  

You looked at the snow. Still perfect. Fewer flakes coming down now, the sky no longer heavy with clouds. You had been so intent on the snow that you hadn’t noticed the moon: bigger and brighter than you’d seen it before. This was what Namjoon had wanted to see.  

“Hey,” you said, gently shoving against his shoulder.  

He groaned, rolling onto his back and rubbing his eyes. 

“What’s up?” 

“Come.” 

You tugged on his hand, pulled him out of bed. 

“Look,” you urged, pointing at the moon.  

Namjoon’s response was hummed as he adjusted to being awake. He shivered and pulled you into his body, back to his chest, arms around your waist.  

“The moon,” he said eventually. 

“Yeah, the super one.” 

“Frosty.” 

“Huh?” 

“Uh, it’s called the Frosty moon, I think. If I were awake, I’d remember.” 

You smiled and placed your hands over his, leaning your head back against him. 

“I love you.” 

Namjoon laughed and you froze, rigid as he let you go, as he turned you around. His hands moved to your face and he kissed you, warm and soft, a smile still tugging at the corners of his mouth. 

“I love you,” he replied, kissing you once more before he laughed again. “I fucking love you.” 

“You do?” Your voice was whisper thin, air caught in your throat. 

“Yes, I do! I love you!” 

The bubble of worry in your chest popped and it all disappeared, all that fear, all that doubt. He loved you. He fucking loved you.  

“I love you,” you repeated, looking at him this time.  

Even in the early-morning darkness, you could see his eyes sparkle, see the dimples in his cheeks. He mouthed the words back at you, picked you up and carried you back over to the bed. He wrapped himself tightly around you, lips against the back of your neck, your shoulder, your jaw.  

“I didn’t want to rush you,” he said. “I didn’t want to put any pressure on you, so I wanted you to say it first but, fuck-” he laughed again- “fuck, I’ve wanted to tell you so badly.” 

“You have?” 

“Yes, baby. I love you. I really fucking love you.”  

“I love you.” 

You stared through the darkness at your hands, clasped together just in front of you. The words felt fuller than you ever thought they could. You had thought they would feel like something being taken from you, like they would open up a hole inside you and leave you bereft but they didn’t. Each time you said it, you felt filled up. With every repetition of the words, you felt more whole. Coming together. Being brought together inside yourself, all your little broken pieces.  

You loved him. He loved you.  

You fell asleep quickly and slept soundly until late morning. 

[yjwfiles04]

a d m i s t o f c h a o s .

pairing: idol!jungwon × afab!reader | deliberately lowercased.

word count: 3,872 words

synopsis: you were just an ordinary student living a not so ordinary life and also a fangirl of a kpop idol boy group named "enhypen". you were just living your boring life ever since summer vacation had started. then suddenly; your so called 'idols' suddenly showed up in your place.

genre: idol au (?), angst, comfort, fluff

warnings: mentions of past traumas, rape, touching, cheating, rebel, sickness, crying, sobbing, kissing, and more ! (lmk)

author's note: hellooo! this is my first time writing here and i wrote this story based in my dream ㅠㅠ, it may not be exactly the same as what i've dreamed of because i changed few things in the story, cuz ya know that dreams can be a little bewildering and things were just convoluted in there. so yea, hope you enjoy reading and please like and reblog this, pretty please? >_<

ever since vacation has started, all you did was to stay up all night, watch tiktoks, reels, read, draw, eat, and sleep. very typical for an ordinary person who've anxiety interacting with people. aside from those things people says 'boring', you also spend your time stanning enhypen. voting on the awards they participated in, watching their contents, and basically supporting and loving them. you sometimes go biking around your neighborhood with your friend for productivity and simply to be free just for a moment, cause life's not very considerate when it comes to you.

your family runs a sports tailoring shop in the city and there where your family stays. the first floor is where the shop is and the second floor is where you guys sleep. actually, your family have a house, but it's quite far from where the lives of people were running so your parents decided to just stay in the shop so it can be convenient for all.

aside from that, you may have a very tortuous and unique siblings. you are the youngest child in your family, two older brothers and a sister. accordingly, you have an eldest brother who is already married and had a daughter, your sister who is also married and had two sons, a brother who's a year older and just got over a breakup, and there you are; a girl who is obsessed with seven men who doesn't know you (?) and never been in a relationship.

when you were a little, everything seems to go well. of course, you were just a child, they were going to keep things from you because firstly, you won't really gonna understand, secondly; to prevent you from hurting, or so you thought? but then pandemic hits, and nearly all things changed. the kid who's just a kid abruptly has to face affliction, distress, adversity, suffering, misfortune, and sorts of hardships. you were just a kid, a kid who didn't do anything to deserve those... and that experiences, made you different. someone they don't really know, even you yourself at some times don't know who you really are. no one to talk to about what's happening deep down there in your life cause you're afraid they'll judged you, but even if not, they were busy worrying about their own problems. apart from that, you're not a very open person when it comes to problem matter. moreover for almost infinite disasters you've faced and facing, you thought you were just going to be stuck in that place forever, but then you find not just some to escape the admist of chaos in your life. enhypen, a group of men who saves you, made you strong and brave through their motivations, story, and songs.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .

after a long physically and mentally exhausting day, you hurriedly cleaned up and hopped on your bed at the top in the bunk bed you and your brother shared. you decided to draw on your sketchbook since you're bored so you took out your phone and find inspiration on pinterest. laying whilst scrolling, you find a drawing of jungwon; a kpop idol you adore and love deeply and find solace of. that catches your interest so you click it and eventually, you decided to draw him. while you're in the middle drawing him, the sleepiness inside you suddenly awoken so you put down your mechanical pencil and doze off, the left side of your face on the top of your right hand while laying flat on your stomach.

you got woken up by the noises downstairs so you decided to go down and check why is it so noisy, you didn't fully go down, just a few steps from the door of the second floor. and just to see the tall men sitting in the seating area of the shop. you rubbed your eyes and go down a few steps more, you were nonplussed by what you see. so you tried to rubbed your eyes more harshly, and when that didn't work, you slap yourself hard enough reasoning for the people downstairs to notice you.

"aww, that hurts," you said to yourself and looked at them again. it hit you, you aren't hallucinating. so you hurriedly go back and lie down on your bed. "what the actual freak?!" you mutter. then someone pulled the curtain that covers you and your bed. "y/n, why won't you go down? they are waiting for you," your mom says. "is that really enhypen?!" said you and scratches your head. "does it look like you're dreaming? take a shower and get dressed so you won't look like a beggar, they have been waiting for you," she says and leaves you.

turmoil still lingers but you did what your mother told you to do. you wear a white shirt with an oversized plaid fannel shirt and a jeans that matches your outfit. as you go downstairs, their attention went on you. you immediately go to the corner where they can't see much of you, looking down straight away. "hey, y/n, don't be bashful. we won't bite," you look up and see jay smiling at you but agitatedly look down. "we came here for you so if you don't come here, our efforts just to see you will end in nothing," heeseung says in a gentle tone but with a jot of irony. feeling fensive, you unconfidently walk towards them eyes stuck on the floor. as you got closer to them and stands still like a statue,

a hand grab yours and drags you to sit beside them. you can tell whose hand is it by just looking at it through your line of site. you know that hand too well to know whose is it. looking at the owner of the hand, you know yourself you're right. it's his hand, the hand of the person who gives you comfort, you can feel him, it's jungwons hand. you looked at him with awe, reverence, hero worship, fondness, tenderness, intimacy, warmth, and you name it. all sorts of love and adornments while you scrutinize over him. he's such an eyesome. no words could describe how you feel at this moment. "it's nice to see you, y/n," he says and flash a smile that shows his dimple. oh you swear to the ones above, it's so surreal.

you smiled back but then again, realization smacks at you, "w-what are you guys doing here?" you said while looking around confused. "that doesn't matter why we're here, what matter's we're here... for you," jake glance and grins at you. you look at them one by one because no matter what process you do in your mind you can't match the puzzles of why they're here. "y/n, don't think too much about why we're here, we don't want to stress you out, hmm?" ni-ki says to make you calm down. you agreed, you don't want to stress yourself about the complexities that are happening right now. the salient here is to make the most of the moment that are here now, right?

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .

following the haywire circumstances, enhypen asks you what you wanted to do for the day, you can't think of anything because you don't actually do anything sensible every day since the vacation had commenced. hence, all you could think of is... riding a bike?? (what?)

"you sure you want... to ride a bike?" sunghoon said while scratching the back of his head. he didn't expect you to take them for a bike ride because honestly, he expected something bigger. but of course, as a boring human being you are, that's something big you could think of. and besides, you don't want to ask something materialistic to them, that'll be too much you think. "yeah, this is all i could think of at this moment, i'm so sorry if i disappointed you guys," saying that, you smiled bitterly at them. "n-no, i didn't mean anything by that–", "don't mind him, y/n, he really wants to ride a bike and he's just too perplexed to see you," sunoo interrupted sunghoon then grabs your hand to get the bikes for the both of you.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .

what all you did for today was roamed around your town, and when every single one of you were tired, you thought of having a mini picnic for a while by the river where there weren't many people as per the sunset's gradually showing out. after that you thought of inviting them to the fair with you, as it's getting dark; the rides and playgrounds there will be lit up and and little by little, people started going there to wander around. you all enjoyed going there, you played different games like shooting the ball, darts, and so on. heeseung and jay won a teddy bear and they gave it to you, saying it was a remembrance. y'all also ride different types of rides such as the vikings, mini roller coaster, horror train where others told you they weren't scared but when y'all got inside they screamed their lungs out, and more rides. of course when some were hungry each of you decided to eat, you ate dinner there since there were many choices and places to eat.

you can't help but to be amused by this moments with them, even though it's not vain, it's ecstatic.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .

after a long magical exhausting day with them, they insisted you come with them to spend the night at the condominium they rented so they could still spend time with you, you have no idea why your family agreed to that but they did. you all managed to watch the movie because you weren't sleepy yet.

while watching, "do you think this will be the finale?" said sunoo abruptly.

despondency etched on his face. you couldn't help but to be stupefied looking at the big screen. "guess everything doesn't lasts forever..." ni-ki answered deeply. it makes you think, that what if, after all the convival you spent together, will it end just like that?

does joy doesn't take long to fade when it comes to you?

you smiled, but the pain is etched in your smiles. nothing lasts forever. forever is a lie. all we have is what's between hello and goodbye. yeah, that's right. forever is not in the vocabulary of the ones above when it comes to you. it's waggish, very very.

tears coming from your eyes, "ey c'mon! it's just a movie, don't fall that easily!" sunghoon says but he's also tearing up. "that's right. of course there's forever. that's not just where forever revoles," jungwon replied and looks at you while you wipe your tears. "okay, okay, let's go to sleep, maybe y'all cry again later," heeseung says and laughs slightly. y'all stand up.

"so... y/n, goodnight?" jake said. "hmm, i guess. goodnight?" you replied. you hugged them one by one, and when you hugged them all except jungwon, you looked at him with bit doubt, nervous to hug him. he gave you an assurance look and take your wrist. then he place it on his back as he places his on your waist. at that moment all you feel is alleviation and solace. you deepen the hug by putting your other hand on his back and he did that as well. after a moment, both of you break the hug and didn't say anything.

"now, let's sleep. goodnight sweetie y/n, see ya?" jake said while yawning, they bid goodbye and went to their rooms so you went in to yours too.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .

since you entered your room, you tried to sleep but no matter what position you took you couldn't fall asleep. because you had nothing to do, you remembered that the condominium has a balcony in the living room where you watched earlier so you thought of going there.

when you got there you saw the glass door was slightly open in the middle, there was a little air coming in causing the curtains to sway a little. you approached it and opened it, there you saw the lights coming from the city and some lights that were on from another condominium. the wind brushes over you. you can also see the pool at the bottom without people cause it's already dark, what caught your attention was the big moon focused on you, the moon is full, and its light is strange along with some shining stars. the moon also works as another ambient light.

you sat on the corner of the balcony and hugged your knees feeling the breeze. all of a sudden, you zoned out looking at the big round moon in front you. you can't help but to shed tears. everything you've been through comes back to you like strike of lightning. all of the suffering returns like a ghost. with everything you've been through, you've handled it, you've been able to handle it on your own. but no matter what you do, they never let you go, the problem's always there, you're like a prey that they keep coming back to hunt. and now you look like a crying child who's sobbing her heart out.

"y/n..." a worried voice called out to you. startled, you wiped your tears and stood up to see who it was. "jungwon–w-what are you doing here?" you swallowed when you said that. "i-i was just going to get some water but then i saw the door was slightly open so i looked to see if anyone is here" he said and also swallowed his own saliva. "a-are you okay?" he looks at you concerned but you just ignored it. "ha... i'm just venting here, i can't sleep–", "you know you can tell me anything, right?" he approached you a little causing you to suddenly get panicked. "h-huh? d-don't worry about me, i'm totally fine–" next thing you knew, he's hugging you.

"even if you say you're fine, i feel like you're not. you can admit that to me, i understand you. and if not, i will understand you… i will try to."

and when he said that, the tears that you'd been holding back since he arrived just plunged. and now, you're a crying mess on his chest. "you can tell me everything, i will listen." as he said stroking your hair. after a few moments of silence and all could hear was your sobbing, you decided to tell a him everything.

"i-i was just a kid... w-when, all the disasters happened..." you start. "at a young age, at a young age i witnessed my mom being hurt because of my father... not physically but i know in her heart, she was hurting... ever since my mom went abroad to support my older siblings, that's when my fater cheated... me and my other older brother were not there yet, so my eldest brother and sister are the ones who e-experienced the suffering from my dad. the worst of the hardships they suffered because my shameless father took in his mistress in our home. took almost every furniture so my older siblings find it hard to survive, almost all of our equipment ended up in his mistress..." you explained.

"but you know what hurts? he touched my freaking sister w-while mom was not there. you know? not only that, apart from some of his attachments, he had a c-child with his other mistresses." i cried while holding his shirt on his chest. "he took drugs, became a drunkard, a womanizer. i grew up witnessing and knowing them because my mother made me aware. and... a-and when the pandemic came... that's when i collapsed like a cliff... i was just sleeping... i'm still young, still young. i woke up to find him on top of me, rubbing his body against me."

there your crying got louder and louder. jungwon didn't say anything even though he was shocked by what you said, instead he hugged you tighter to ease what you're feeling. "i t-told that to my m-mom, she said... she said we she's going to make my dad go to jail, b-but, but it didn't happen... now, now w-we are still living with him under the same roof."

"because of him my life is ruined... j-jungwon, my life is ruined because of him. i don't know how to move forward. because every time i see him, everything comes back... everything. everything i used to do changed. i'm also afraid to wear short clothes, afraid getting close to m-men. then... other than that, various things happened between me and my family... jungw-won, i'm so tired and i don't i know what to do... i don't know how to resolve it." you pulled your hair and continued to cry.

"j-just after those, something... s-something happened with me and my brother. it was also night and i was sleeping peacefully... when i felt my brother behind me and was hugging me... i don't know if it's because of my trauma that am I so s-scared but i feel that he's touching me, i-i told that to my mom again but she just ignored it, she said it's normal for siblings... i know, maybe, but i'm not used to it... only you guys make me feel comfortable... especially y-you. then b-because of that, i thought of running away, they didn't know where i went, they called me by the phone... but i d-didn't answer. t-the river we went to? there was i went, t-they didn't know that place. but because i-i was afraid that if something happens to my mom while she's finding me, so i said i was there, i told my m-mom and she went to see me. she cried, and i didn't mean to make her cry but i want to go away, i want to leave to feel the freedom i've been longing. i don't want to hurt them, i didn't want them to think i'm a rebel, but what can i d-do... that's when i also realized that my sister became a rebel because of what happened to her... n-now, that's not just the only problem i'm having..."

"we're financially unstable and mom is getting old, m-my side line job is not enough to support my c-collage... mom is s-sick, but i can't do anything, i-i want to help her, treat her. b-but i was raised not to be able to express feelings and c-care. i want to h-help her but i just can't. i want to fin-ish my studies but it's hard if we're short on money a-and mom's income is just enough for daily expenses. h-how can i help her in the future if I'm not sure if i have a future. jungwon, i'm s-so tired... i don't know anymore..." your tears didn't have time to dry because they kept flowing.

after you told your story there was huge silence, jungwon just let you cry and pour out your feelings. after what you've said he didn't feel any disgust, irritation, or anything else. he tried to understood you, and even if he didn't feel what you were feeling he understood you. he's there for you, that's the least he's done and could do for you. to be there for you and be your companion thru these tears.

when you calmed down you let go of the hug and looked at him. "thank you, thank you for listening and for not letting me feel my story's nonsense. and for trying to understand me. i am very grateful to you, jungwon." i smiled at him and he wiped my tears.

he smiled back. "shh... i'm here because i want to be the person you can lean on." he holds your right hand and kissed it. at this moment you really know thay he's your solace, a person who you find comfort to. a person who you can tell everything without judgment. a person who try to understand you. a person who's your everything. you love him, so so damn much.

he hugged you once again and broke the hug. you were surprised when he suddenly brought out a box and opened it infront of you. "a necklace?" asked you, he nodded and took it out the box. "i want you to keep this for me. this will serve as your protection whenever I'm not around and whenever you need someone to be with you in what you're going through and what you've been through." he looked at you and slowly attached the necklace. he couldn't help but to smile at the sight of you. you're gorgeous.

he then puts his hands to your cheecks comes closer a bit. "can i?" he asked, asking for assurance.

you nodded, and there he slowly brings his face closer to you until there's no space. he kissed you so gently as if you're something so pure to him and he didn't want to hurt. he kissed you without sexual desire, just full benevolent and endearment. you feel at cloud nine. he then removed his hand from your cheeks and placed it on your waist as you placed your hands on his neck. the kiss deepened and... and... what?...

"y/n, wake up! prof. kim's mad!" said the voice near you. huh? because you haven't woken up and that person shook you. "oh come on, y/n. do you want to be put in detention?" it mutter. when you didn't respond, the person in front speaks loud, "ms. y/n why are you sleeping in my class?!"

you got irritated so you replied loudly, "what?!" the person who tried to wake you up is rather shocked and so is the other students.

"that's it, ms. y/n to the principals office after class. you're already sleeping in my class and now you have the face to scream like that." the professor says who happens to be mr. kim. you looked at the person next to you and saw your best friend. it looks at you like a ghost.

it was all just a dream? wtf?

after the class, apologized to your best friend for how you've acted and immediately packed your things to head to the principals office, when you open your bag you saw a teddy bear you swore wasn't there. "did you put this here?" you asked your best friend who's also packing her stuff.

"no? why would i put that there?" she replied. "maybe you have an admirer," you just look at her confused then suddenly you remember from your dream that you did go to a fair and two people gave a teddy bear to you, it's exactly the same teddy in your dream. then again, you remembered the necklace so you look at them in your bag but there's nothing to be found.

you almost jumped out of your body when you realized that there was a glowing pendant around your neck so you touched it.

"nice necklace, where did you get that?" your best friend asks, and from that moment you became a cement. how can these things be here if you never had anything like this...

could it be real?... isn't that just a dream?

[povlvr]

Make Me Forget | ❤️Valentine’s Day One Shot

Pairing: Beefy Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 6k

Summary: Unceremoniously dumped by your scumbag boyfriend Bucky's mission is to spend Valentine's Day cheering you up & showing you what it would belike to be Bucky Barnes's girl, maybe he's shooting his shot, maybe he's just that darn charming Warnings: Angst (just the start), Fluffy Bucky, Swearing, Smut, NSFW, P in V, Oral (Female), unprotected sex, Dom Bucky

A/N: Happy Valentine's, enjoy this one shot with Beefy Bucky, I thought this would be a nice intermission for the Valentine's Season. Also FYI, no STD's or unplanned pregnancies (unless a plot) in my multiverse so no condoms are ever used. As per usual I cannot keep my word count concise!!

Dumped, discarded, cast aside, kicked to the curb, whatever you wanted to call it, you were it & you were sat in a restaurant trying to hold it together whilst the humiliation of being brought into a public space to be told you’re not good enough, not special enough, not pretty enough, not her was being laid out in black & white. You could feel your lip wobbling, the familiar sob climbing up your throat trying to escape as you begged yourself to cut off all emotions until you could get back home.

You nodded along hoping he would stop the character assassination that was effortlessly rattling off, like he had been practicing it for weeks in the mirror. You thought you had been happy together & that he was getting ready to ask you to move in with him, but you were told you were dumb to not see how miserable you made him. There was only so much you could take & when he mentioned her, his 22-year-old secretary he had been sleeping with for weeks, who just ‘got him’, you stood up, tossed your drink over his head & walked out.

The cab ride home was a battle of wills between your absolute need to keep it together at all times versus your impending emotional outburst with the growing realisation that you were destined to die alone & get eaten by the 15 cats you would inevitably accumulate being single for the rest of your life.

The rest of your night was spent isolated, crying, eating pizza, drinking wine & browsing cat rescue sites trying to find the first step towards the rest of your life, you couldn’t believe you wasted a year of your life with a scumbag who would dump you the day before Valentine’s day.

You should have phoned in sick, there was no way you were in the mood to face anyone, even if Tony would have wrongly assumed it was because it was Valentine’s Day & you would be too busy fucking your boyfriend all day to work, except the reality would be you crying, burning your Ex-Boyfriends belongings & self-reflecting to assess what was actually wrong with you & why couldn’t you keep a man interested.

Instead, you were numb, sat zoned out in the meeting room by your boss’ side trying to look like you were paying attention, you were barely holding it together avoiding all eye contact with the team filled with spies & assassins, at least two of them would be able to spot the obvious tells that not all was well.

‘Alright, any other business.’

Sam repeatedly elbowing Bucky who ignored him completely perked up, ‘Yeah, these monthly meetings suck, it’s Valentine’s day, why we even working?’

‘Make sure you note down that sass from Bird Man, Short Stack.’

Apart from Tony’s very annoying nickname, you hadn’t heard what had been said, hoping that it was never brought up again you scribbled down ‘I want to go home’ so it looked as though you were at least doing something.

Bucky had already noticed the sullen expression the second he laid eyes on you, the heavier than usual makeup & overall lack of spunk you usually have was a dead giveaway. Sam may have told him not to use that phrase anymore, for reasons still unclear to him but that was the best way to describe it, it was like your light had gone out.

Usually when Tony used that moniker you’d be ready with a jibe to throw straight back at him, he may have been your boss, but you weren’t ever afraid to put the billionaire in his place, so you completely passing over the nickname meant you were somewhere else in your head & not ok, something was wrong & he needed to get to the bottom of it.

You held back in the meeting room until all the superheroes had piled out to try & avoid any interactions, unfortunately a certain burly super soldier didn’t quite get the memo & was waiting for you outside. The brunette’s face completely serious, brows furrowed & arms crossed as he examined you walking towards him, ‘What’s wrong?’

‘Nothing’s wrong Bucky, I’m fine.’ You tried a half assed smile; a smile you wouldn’t even be able to convince Ethel your blind neighbour was real let alone the trained assassin in front of you.

‘Don’t you dare lie to me Petal, you may be able to fool them but not me. Now tell me what happened, I won’t ask again, did something happen at dinner last night?’

You’d be lying if you said you didn’t like when Bucky used his serious voice, when the Sargent in him came out, you always followed his orders.

Breathing out a shaky sigh you looked around, as if anyone cared enough to listen in on what you were about to say, damn your bottom lip for wobbling & the tears gathering in your eyes, traitor. ‘He broke up with me, said he was sleeping with his secretary & I wasn’t pretty or good enough for him.’

Somehow Bucky managed to quell the internal rage that was flowing through the synaptic’s in his brain, the plates in his arm were begging to be recalibrated from the tension running through his body, don’t trigger a reset, don’t trigger a reset. He could taste the impending murder on his tongue but that had to wait, he needed to be the mechanical shoulder for you to cry on right now.

He grabbed you, enclosing you entirely in his arms, his overwhelming warmth thawing your cold exterior & his big arms squeezing you tightly, it was the exact comfort you needed. ‘Oh darlin’, why didn’t you call me?’

Smushed against his solid chest your voice was muffled, ‘Didn’t want to bother ya.’

‘You know you wouldn’t have.’

You managed a shrug against him, ‘It’s Valentine’s you might have had plans.’

He moved his vibranium arm from around you, holding your face with his cool metallic hand to make sure you were looking at him, brushing the few fallen tears from your cheeks, ‘There are no plans too important to stop me coming & getting you.’

You managed a genuine half smile, the cloud over you not quite lifting, but it was now surrounded by a little Bucky Barnes shaped rainbow & you appreciated it more than you could ever convey to him.

Bucky sat pensively in the lounge, despite his protests that you should take the day off, he walked you to your office at your insistence that working would help keep your mind of him, he secretly enjoyed the way you now said him, it was very much in the same tone he had been using for the last year.

So, he had been sitting since racking his brains, trying to think of ways to help you, to build you back up & forget about that loser & in the Super Soldier’s mind he was the biggest most idiotic loser on the face of the planet to let you go so willingly. Chump.

Tony strolled into the common area noticing the absolute anguish on the centurion’s face staring into space, ‘What’s up terminator?’

He rubbed his face trying to reset his mind & entertain a conversation with Tony, ‘Nothing, just thinking.’

‘Wouldn’t happen to have anything to do with my diminutive 2nd in command who has been on 4 separate trips to the bathroom to cry this morning … so far.’ He stood crossing his arms, hoping to get to the bottom of it & thought Bucky would be the one you opened up to, because the pathetic excuse you gave him for being so sniffly wasn’t cutting it & you usually had the 6ft Super Solider shadow following you everywhere.

He clenched his jaw at the belittling nickname Tony seemed to revel in, ‘Stop calling her little, she doesn’t like it.’

He narrowed his eyes, ‘Bit touchy when it comes to her, aren’t you? You like her?’

Bucky shook his head angry that he was poking his nose in where it didn’t belong, ‘Not the time Tony.’

‘Why not?’

‘Not your business.’

‘Let’s see, protective bodyguard mode has been activated, weepy crying employee on Valentine’s Day, I take it that snake she was wasting her time with has shown his true colours?’

Bucky let out an audible sigh, ‘Something like that.’

‘What a dick.’ He clenched his jaw, already ordering you some flowers on his phone, a smirk crossed his face & he glanced back up at the sulking Super Soldier. ‘Hey, now she’s single, you should shoot your shot.’

To Bucky the billionaire just casually let out, like it was nothing, an afterthought, like it was completely normal to pounce on someone 12 hours after being blindsided by a breakup. ‘Absolutely not, she needs comfort & cheering up, not a 107-year-old hitting on her.’

In Tony’s mind, the stars were finally aligning for two people who anyone could see looked at each other with love hearts in their eyes most of the time to finally get together, they just needed a push. ‘Trust me when I say she wouldn’t mind a certain 107-year old’s attention.’

‘Steve?’

‘Jesus I’m surrounded by idiots, not Steve, you, you complete putz’

The super solider was trying to stifle his smile at the thought of you being into him but failing miserably, shaking his head in protest, ‘I don’t think so.’

‘Well, I so happen to know so. I’m not saying declare your undying love for her & propose, just shoot your shot, take her mind off the breakup & whatever he did, make her see that you’re the one she should be with.’

Just like that, like it was a piece of cake, easy as 1,2,3, he swore sometimes he was secretly dumb & not a so-called genius everyone said he was, it took Bucky 3 months to say hello to you when he first met you, so by his calculations he would be asking you out in 2054.

‘He cheated for weeks with his secretary & said she wasn’t pretty enough or good enough for him.’ The words pained him to say out loud, he couldn’t imagine how hurtful they were for you to hear.

The billionaire’s eyes went wide, ‘Excuse me, how are you not murdering him right now?’

‘Oh, trust me a plan is percolating, but I wanted to make sure she was ok before I spend the rest of my life in prison for repeatedly throwing him off the empire state building.’

‘Oh, I like the sound of repeatedly. Ok, new plan, you spend the day tending to her, sweep her off her feet, get her out of her office … but not into your bed & I’ll pay him a visit, can’t promise murder but I’m sure I have a few gadgets that will put the fear of Thor in him.’

You were sat sulking in your office, not really working, just staring at words on a screen, you didn’t want to be at work, but you didn’t want to be at home either, despite the bonfire you had planned in your head with his expensive suits he kept in your walk in, which admittedly did sound like fun.

A gentle knock & a wiggle of the handle told you it was Bucky waiting outside your office, you buzzed him in & as the door opened all you could see were flowers, a huge bunch that somehow eclipsed the Super Solider stood in the doorway holding them.

It was comical watching him struggle, trying his best not to knock any of the perfect blooms on his way in, you wondered how he could be so agile on the battlefield when he was such a clutz off it at times, adorable really when you thought about it.

‘How can I help you soldier?’

He used to hate people referring to him by his military positions but whenever you did it there was something in him that went feral, it felt like you were submitting to him & you were always such a good girl when he told you to do something in his lower pitched voice.

The twitch in his pants at the thought of what that would translate to in the bedroom needed taming before he embarrassed himself, it might not be the 40s anymore but by god if punching a colleague for humming too loudly got him a meeting in HR, getting a boner in front of one in a professional setting definitely would.

‘Well, it’s Valentine’s Day & I wanted to buy you some flowers & put a smile on your face.’

‘Mission success Sargent.’ You really did have a wide smile on your face from the sweet gesture, he was such a good guy, sometimes you wish everyone could see it but a little part of you were happy it seemed to be reserved for only you.

‘Oh this, this is just the start, my Girl on Valentine’s Day doesn’t just get flowers, she gets the whole day.’

You raised your brows, trying your absolute best to not grin like the Cheshire Cat at him calling you his girl, ‘A whole day huh? Lucky me. Not to throw a spanner in the works here but ya girl gotta work.’

‘No you don’t, cleared it with Tony so you’ve got the rest of the day off.’ He looked so happy with himself & you really didn’t understand why the hunk of a man in front of you had a reputation for being frightening, the man was a big teddy bear.

It had been an interesting journey to say the least, experiencing Bucky’s vintage car with the top down sounded so much fun, especially when he pulled you close & had his arm around you but the way your hair lashed about in the wind made you realise why the women in the old movies always had head scarves on. At one-point Bucky’s eyes were streaming when a particular gust of wind whipped him in the eye with a chunk of your hair, no number of apologies you gave seemed enough & thankfully he just seemed to find it funny.

Once you tamed the bird’s nest sat on top of your head you stood in excitement looking on the fairground that had been at the heart of so many of Steve & Bucky’s stories, Coney Island where dreams where not quite made of but that didn’t matter, you loved it.

‘It doesn’t exactly look the same but I’m sure we’ll find our way around just fine.’ Bucky was practically giddy, pulling your connected hand towards the entrance, ‘you know me & Steve once rode the Ferris wheel with these two dames, Sandy & Delores I think their names were, & Steve freaked out because it was so high up & threw up on his date.’

You always noticed his accent thickened when he talked about his youth, seeing him like this made you wish you had known him back then, but having heard many stories about Bucky from Steve, he would probably have been chasing tail rather than wasting his time hanging about with you

He led you to a food shack that, according to the sign, served New York’s best hot dogs, ‘whaddya say Doll, one hotdog or two?’

‘One please, with onions & mustard.’

‘Coming up, what my girl wants, my girl gets.’

You sat on the bench whilst he waited for your order, the day certainly had taken a turn & you were beyond grateful for Bucky, he really was the sweetest guy you knew so it didn’t even shock you with how extra he was being in an effort to take your mind off things.

You realised as he approached, carrying way more hot dogs than any normal human could eat at once & a huge bag of candyfloss under his arm, that you hadn’t thought of him at all with Bucky around. He really was the best & you would be lying if you said you didn’t enjoy him referring to you as his girl, the man was the hottest guy you’d ever laid eyes on so a few hours escaping reality & experiencing what it was like being Bucky Barnes’s Girl wasn’t something you were going to pass up, even if it was just for the day.

He plonked himself down beside you, handing you your order & placing the candy floss at your side, then throwing his arm over your shoulder pulling you as close as possible to you, he always seemed to like you close. You shuffled into his side, so you could rest your head on his shoulder as you both sat eating your food & watching all the people casually walking by.

‘Do you wish you could go back?’

‘Sometimes, if only to see my Ma & Sisters but there’s a few things now that are better.’

‘Hmm’ you took a bite, was it the best? Maybe, but maybe it was the setting & company you found yourself with that was making it taste better than it actually did.

‘Yeah, the food,’ He proceeded to take a dramatically large bite making you giggle as he chomped it down, ‘the technology, the company too.’ He gave your shoulder a squeeze & leaned down to kiss your head that was happily resting on him.

‘Hmmm well I’m glad you’re here, I’ll tell Tony to hold off on the time machine to send you both back.’

You loved making the Super Solider laugh, he didn’t do it often, but it was like music to your ears when you were blessed with it, so when he found that comment as funny as he did, you joined him in letting it all out, there you were, two idiots laughing on a bench & it was wonderful. You felt so much lighter, like nothing could bother you with Bucky around, you felt safe, cherished & looked after, you needed someone like Bucky. Fat Chance.

You spent the rest of the day on rides, laughing, eating & sharing stories, there was a moment on top of the Ferris wheel where you thought Bucky was leaning in to kiss you, but he just found a bit of lint on your shoulder & was trying to assess if it was Ant Man needing assistance so needed to get closer.

Sure, you were disappointed, & no you didn’t see any actual lint, you always harboured a harmless crush on the Super Solider, who wouldn’t with him being so sweet & handsome, but it was such an odd feeling to not feel at all sad that less than 24 hours ago you were in love with someone else then unceremoniously dumped, or at least you thought you were in love. Hmm.

He walked you to your apartment block, insisting on making sure you were safe in your home before he left, you supposed he of all people knew the dangers of the world so of course invited him up, you didn’t want him to ever leave your side if you were being honest.

You were both settled on your sofa, him nursing a beer & you a glass of wine, ‘Don’t think I don’t appreciate this Bucky because I absolutely do, but why did you do all this for me today?’

‘Why wouldn’t I want to cheer up a person going through something, especially when they are my favourite person?’

It was like your heart skipped an entire beat hearing those words, the oversized Super Solider wasn’t the most forthcoming with his feelings ever, you thought, so to hear that from him meant the world to you, ‘Your favourite?’

Come on Bucky, now or never, ‘Look, Tony said I shouldn’t ask you to marry me or anything & I won’t, I won’t, I promise, but he said I should just shoot my shot, so look it started out as me wanting to cheer you up & make you smile because it’s always my favourite thing to do but at the same time maybe I just let you know that when you’re ready there are other people out there that would be happy to have you all to themselves & will know the treasure they’re holding. Not saying who, but if you don’t mind an age gap of say 72 years, there’s a certain single super solider that wouldn’t mind taking you to the movies, dinner & dancing.’

He let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, he just came out with it, simple as that & his brain wasn’t even shouting at him to jump straight out of your window to the safety of not knowing what it feels like to be rejected from the only woman he’s wanted for 80 years.

You smirked trying your absolute best to stop yourself from jumping his bones, ‘Steve can dance?’

Thankfully he knew Steve was more like a brother to you, so you were just playing with him, so he dramatically clutched his chest, ‘Why … why would you willing to inflict pain on me like that Petal?’

You giggled narrowing your eyes, ‘So he can orrrr….?’

Watching how his eyes darkened sent a thrill down your spine & a deep throb to your clit, he moved closer towards you on the sofa, knees knocking, tracing finger up & down your thigh whilst he drew his tongue along his lower lip, it was a hypnotic, ‘You’d be too much for Steve sweetheart, you need someone who can be firm with you.’

You arched your brow, loving where this conversation was going & the way he grasped you flesh, you dropped your shoulder & looked up at him as innocently as you could drawing out your voice as seductively as possible before biting your lip, ‘is that right Sarge?’

‘Absolutely Petal.’ He couldn’t seem to take his eyes away from where your teeth indented your plump pout, he was desperate to run his thumb along it to release it & replace it with his mouth.

‘hmmm so a firm, single, super soldier?’

Almost looking cocky he managed to pull his focus back to your eyes, raising a brow, ‘Know any?’

You had your finger & thumb pinching your chin in faux contemplation, ‘Not ringing any bells Sarge.’

‘Let me remind you.’

Ding, Ding, Ding. He pulled your face to his crashing your lips together, holding your head in his hands, the contrast between flesh & metal was so uniquely Bucky & you weren’t sure if you ever wanted to go back to two regular hands.

It felt as though every kiss you had ever had before now were pecks on the cheek in comparison, because Bucky Barnes could kiss like nothing else, the absolute passion & desire he could communicate with his tongue had you on a plane of existence you never knew was available, what else could he do with it?

Every moment connected was erasing the last year of your life, why did you waste your time on that waste of space when this was available the whole time?

It wasn’t long until you were pulled onto his lap, straddling his thick thighs & grinding down onto the prominent bulge he was sporting, moaning as it made contact with your centre.

Between kisses he finally managed to string a full sentence together, ‘Are you sure? Feel like I’m taking advantage of your weakened emotional state.’

You giggled into his mouth, ‘Have you been watching Dr Phil again?’

‘Maybe, but I don’t want you to regret anything.’ The way he held your face back to take a pause & make sure it was what you wanted almost made you cry, this sweet man who did nothing but take care of you wanted you & there wasn’t a better feeling you’d ever had.

Connecting your foreheads, you looked deeply into his gorgeous ocean eyes, ‘The only thing I will regret is not doing it sooner & wasting my time on him.’

‘Really?’

You nodded, ‘Make me forget soldier.’

Your mouths were connected again but this time his hands moved with purpose freeing you of the layers that kept him from the entirety of you, quickly reciprocating you pulled his hoodie over his head, momentarily breaking your kiss.

‘The second you want me to stop you tell me Petal, you gonna be a good girl for me?’

You nodded going straight back to kissing him as he pulled your jeans off taking your pants with them, ‘Need your words flower.’

‘Yes Sarge.’

The serum running through his veins kicked in & he wasted no time reattaching your lips in a frantic kiss, working his way down to your jaw, neck & chest, spending that extra second admiring the sight before him.

‘You’re perfect sweetheart.’

‘You too gorgeous.’

He smiled at your words, that wonderfully adorable smile that he only allowed you to see, the adrenaline buzzing through you temporarily overtaken by the endorphins at the thought of this wonderful man wanting to be with you.

It was only a moment of being an adorable puppy, a switch before he was back to the insatiable Super Soldier that was about to plough you so hard you’d forget your own name, you had no doubt Bucky would be capable of it.

‘Not here Petal.’ He hoisted you up, his strong arms keeping you attached to his lips as he walked you through your apartment to the bedroom, gently bending to deposit you on the mattress still not parting your lips for a single second until he was positioned above you.

His mouth began descending back down you neck & chest until his lips found their way to your bra & he tsk’d at it getting in his way & without missing a step a knife appeared from his boot & he swiftly sliced the front of it inciting a gasp to escape, it was the single hottest thing you’d ever experienced & it set your whole existence on fire.

‘I’ll buy you a new one flower.’ it was thrown, along with the knife onto the floor, & his tongue wasted no time swirling around your nipple, the other being squeezed by his cool metal finger tips, the sensation making your back arch & you were already desperate for more.

‘Touch me Bucky.’

You could feel him smile against your chest & like all good soldiers did, he obeyed your command, keeping his mouth attached to your chest he traced his hand down your body, loving the way you squirmed as it hit your ticklish spots, you were so soft & as he gently parted your legs he could smell how wet you were.

Drawing a single finger along your folds, he made you shudder as he teased you gently, admiring how soaked you were for him, ‘All this for me Petal?’

Shyly nodding at him you watched as he made his way down, settling between your legs, it should have felt weird for another man to be seeing you in this state so soon, but it didn’t. It felt as though Bucky was the only one who should see you like that, vulnerable & open to everything he was about to give you.

His nose nudged at you, every hair stood on edge, your breath hitched & your heart thudded in anticipation. ‘Fucking perfect’, the first contact with his mouth to your glistening pussy released the beast within him that had been dying to taste you since the minute he laid eyes on you. It wasn’t gentlemanly, or loving, it was some caveman shit & lord you were not prepared for his tongue. Within the first minute you were on the verge of climaxing, he ate you out like he hadn’t eaten in years, yet his technique was a sharp as a knife, he worked you til he could feel you right on the edge before he cruelly pulled his mouth from you making you whimper & the loss of him.

Yes, you had been a good girl & if anyone deserved an orgasm it was you, but he didn’t want to ever stop tasting your nectar or move from between your legs. If he buried his cock in you he would blow his load within a minute he was that turned on by you, so he needed to at least make this bit last as long as possible for you.

If keeping you on the brink meant he could spend all night between you legs so be it, he carried on flicking your clit with the tip of his tongue, sucking it then burying his tongue in your cunt, over & over. Every time he pulled away you let out an ungodly whining noise or begged him to keep going.

‘No, No no, please.’ You were desperate at this point & willing to get on your knees to beg.

‘Please what?’

‘Please Sargent, please let me cum.’

‘Can’t sweetheart, can’t ever stop, you taste so good.’

He doubled down sucking at your clit & you almost sobbed the moment it was taken away; did he want you to have a tantrum? You were on the brink of one if he did it again.

‘Please, please, please’

You were babbling, tears escaping your eyes & right where he wanted, if you didn’t know what was going on you wouldn’t notice him lasting the 0.7 seconds he was predicting from him being so desperate to be inside you.

You were at the precipice of euphoria, your orgasm on the cusp, the anticipation of him pulling away had you on high alert & you could feel every single thing he did waiting for it to be snatched away at the very last second, but this time he didn’t pull away, he plunged his metallic fingers in you as you saw white & exploded through your pleasure to absolute ecstasy.

Curling his two thick digits he hit your spot over & over taking you to another straight away, the pleasure at a level you hadn’t ever experienced before, if he was talking to you you were clueless, everything was muffled & you didn’t even notice the hollowness once Bucky moved so he was covering you with his body.

‘Look at me Sweetheart.’

You managed to roll your eyes, which you assume had detached at some point during the second orgasm & look at his gorgeous blue ones, did they always make your heart skip a beat?

‘You’re really pretty, you know that Bucky.’ Your voice came out a bit hoarse but the cute smile on his face was worth the pain from straining your throat.

‘And you’re the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.’

You hid your face in the crook of his neck, ‘You ready for me gorgeous?’

You nodded against him. ‘Words sweetheart.’

‘Ye.. yes, want you to fuck me Sarge.’

‘That’s my girl’

He pumped his cock once, twice, you were looking down between your bodies, when did he even take his jeans off? He was huge, dauntingly so, the perfect cock, long & thick weeping & desperate for you.

He chuckled at your expression whispering in your ear, ‘It’ll fit darlin.’

‘If you say so Soldier.’ You really weren’t convinced.

His heavy length sat at your opening & slowly he pushed into you as he looked at your completely blissed our expression, head leaned back, eyes closed & mouth moaning the most sinful noises with every inch he added, he latched onto the neck you were perfectly presenting for him, mapping every spot that made you clench that bit tighter.

‘Fuck your pussy is chocking me darlin. Not gonna last.’

‘Mmnn fuck, so good Buck so so fucking good.’

Finally, he was fully seated in you, you’d never felt so full, so complete, you squeezed his ass to let him know he could get going but he stayed still, ‘just gimme a sec, been a while.’

Your giggled at his heavy breathing but quickly stopped once his hips began slamming into you, by god you needed a pounding & he complied perfectly, your good Soldier & all thoughts were lost as he repeatedly thrust his powerful body into you.

‘Fucking gorgeous you know that, wanted to fuck you since the day I met you. Fucking perfect, perfect pussy, like it was made for me.’

‘God Bucky, harder.’

‘You sure?.’

‘Yeah, gimme all you got, I can take it.’ you weren’t sure that you could, but you wanted to give it a try.

‘Not gonna last darlin. You gotta give me one more though.’

His metal fingers connected with your swollen clit sending a jolt of electricity through your body, you weren’t sure if you had ever made such an obscene noise before, it was too much but not enough at the same time.

‘Feels so good.’

‘You my good girl?’

‘Yes Sargent, want you to fill me up.’

‘Fuck sweetheart, don’t say that, I won’t ever fucking stop.’ You were making him go into overdrive, he was feral for you, his perfect angel with the most sinful mouth.

‘Don’t want you to, want you dripping out me for days.’

‘Jesus Christ, my perfect filthy girl.’

You were so overwhelmingly full of the Super Solider, the tip of his huge cock nudging the spot within you at rapid fire had the blinding pleasure begin to rip through you once again as you finally hit your third climax of the night clamping down on him as his hips stuttered & release followed painting your walls with his seed, pumping the cum into you repeatedly until his motion ceased & he lowered his lips to you.

Silence, still connected he watched you carefully as you opened your eyes, blinking from adjusting to the bright light having held them shut from the bliss you were coming down from.

He leaned down to kiss you, sucking your bottom lip before he gently moved the hair from around your face, ‘What you thinkin’?’

‘I wasted a year of my life on someone who wasn’t you.’ Reaching up to him you repeated his action, tucking the wayward strands behind his ears, caressing his cheeks with your fingers, it felt like a dream & you didn’t want to wake up.

‘Hmm just think of it as you lowered your standards so much for him, that he made me look like an ideal candidate in comparison.’

You hated that he didn’t think of himself highly enough, you shook your head smiling at his goofy grin, ‘Don’t say that please.’

‘Ok, how about this, seeing you lower your standards to that idiot made me get my act together & be the man you deserved.’

‘Better. Or maybe I was completely blind & now I can see.’

He rested his forehead against yours looking deeply at you, you were waiting for a serious meaningful declaration of love to come out, instead ‘you look like a minotaur from this close.’

You laughed batting the super soldiers arm ‘I think you may have gotten your mythical creatures mixed up there.’

‘Nope, it’s the one-eyed creature.’

‘Nope, it’s a human with a horse’s body.’

He shrugged his shoulders, ‘Agree to disagree.’

‘Absolutely not Barnes, where’s my phone?’

‘Oh, now you calling me Barnes, huh, what happened to Sargent.’

You shook your head at him, loving his playful teasing, ‘Your dick is soft, you only get Sargent when sex is on the cards.’

‘Oh, is that right?’ he planted a long slow kiss on your lips.

‘Yep & for people who know the difference between a Minotaur & a Cyclops of course.’

‘Of course,’ He agreed nodding away smugly. ‘Good thing I’m ready to go again then isn’t it? What’s my name?’

You felt him growing within you & it set your skin on fire, it was an indescribable sensation & as you let out a moan & batted your eyelashes at him you couldn’t help but submit to the huge Super Solider, ‘Sargent, Sir.’

‘Are you my good girl?’

‘Yes, Sir.’

‘Will you be my girl?’

‘Yes, Sargent.’

Both your smiles were as wide as the sun as he began picking up the pace of his hips, nowhere near the frantic level it had been before, this was different, slow & intimate, & as if they were magnets your lips found each other’s yet again.

‘Happy Valentine’s Day darlin’.’

🧡💛💚💙💜🤎

[selfaware-bungou-stray-dogs]

Midnight call

Self-Aware! BSD Characters x GN! Reader

Description: Because now you are more interested in spending time with BSD Cast in real world, and out of respect to your new friends, you decide to 'left' BSD Fandom or, at least, be very passive in fandom.

Unfortunately, one of your cousin is in a Fandom. And she watched the season 5 finale. And she needs to discuss it with someone.

Set between Sick Day and We will protect you

About Library Incident, mentioned in that post.

Warning: Spoilers for BSD Season 5 finale. OOC. Semi-Crack. English is my second language.

_______

The last few days were hard for you. You need to finish university project. And, because of that, you had some sleepless nights. But, finally, the project was done, and you can finally have your well deserved sleep.

You're curled under the softest blankets. You snuggle against your cuddle partner and drift to sleep.

_______

You were surrounded by a bunch of cats. Fluffy cats were purring, trying to make you pet them. You reach your hand to the black kitten. And then....

RING!!!!!!! RING!!!! RING!!!!

_________

You shove a person, who was cuddling with you, fell down on the floor, jumped up from the floor and, while crashing into anyone and anything possible, ran to the library.

Emergency phone was ringing.

_________

Different people react differently to being suddenly woke up in the middle of the night.

Someone screamed, someone start cursing whoever were calling, someone start running.

The sleeping house became a house of madness in a single moment.

When residents became at least somehow aware of their surroundings, they start moving to the room, where a special emergency phone was.

Soon, house library were full of sleepy people in their pajamas.

You were there first. You, still half asleep, picked up the phone.

"Hello?!"

You were worried. If someone calls in the middle of the night, it either means something bad has happened. Or someone gave birth.

You heard the voice of your cousin. She was sobbing.

"[Y/N]! It is terrible! It's horrible!"

Your cousin was hysterical. You feel chills running down your spine. What happened to cause this reaction?

"[C/N]? What happened? Please, tell me! Are you hurt? Did something happen with your parents? Don't stay silent!"

Your cousin cried.

"FYODOR AND FUKUCHI ARE DEAD!!! AND SIGMA IS IN A COMA!"

You drop the phone. It fell on the table.

You take a step back.

Fyodor and Fukuchi are dead... Sigma is in a coma...

You feel like the world around you shuttered.

Dead...

You lost two friends... Maybe three, if Yosano's ability won't work on Sigma...

This time, forever...

BSD Cast can't go back to their world. This time, you can't bring him back by pulling their cards in Scout.

You were on a verge of a breakdown... You heard someone's steps... This someone hugged you. This someone murmur. This someone sound sleepy.

"Don't cry, Myshonok. I don't know, what happened, but everything is going to be fine..."

Second person carefully squeeze your hand.

"Little Guiding Light, don't cry. Please, tell us, what happened."

...

Wait a second... Myshonok? Little Guiding Light?

You shake your head and looked up. Fyodor was hugging you.

You looked at the person, who was holding your hand.

Fukuchi.

You blinked. Then again. And again.

Sigma... You are cuddling with him tonight...

After a minute search, you noticed Sigma in the crowd.

You looked at the phone.

Then back at Fyodor.

Then at Fukuchi.

Then at Sigma.

Then at the phone again.

You slowly walked towards the table and pick up the phone.

You breathe in and out. Your voice sounded as sweet as honey.

"[C/N]... Darling, care to repeat the last sentence?"

She sobs.

"Fyodor and Fukuchi... are dead! And Sigma is in a coma!"

Your eyes twitch. You stand still.

"[C/N], gave me few minutes. Stay on the phone, please!"

You make sure, that she won't hear your next words and turned to the BSD Cast.

"Quick question. Does anyone from my family knew your true identities?"

Few 'no' were your answer. You glance at the clock.

01:00 am. And you fall asleep after the midnight...

You put the phone on the table and walked closer to Fyodor. You start checking his pulse.

"Um... [Y/N], what are you doing?" Fyodor looked at you, puzzled by your actions.

Your eye twitch. You barely had an hour of sleep, you were sleep-deprived and angry.

"According to my cousin, you and Fukuchi are dead. I am checking if it's true. So far, you are alive and not a hallucination."

A sound of flat collective "what" filled the room. You ignored it.

Fyodor Dostoevsky had pulse.

You grin. Your grin looked a little bit off. You looked a little bit off. Like you were ready to attack.

You suddenly pet Fyodor's cheek and plant a kiss on his chin.

"Good... You are alive."

You finished with Fyodor and moved to Fukuchi. Ouchi was staring at you. He put his hand on your forehead.

"[Y/N], you look... strange. Like you are ready to combust."

You didn't answer, only start checking Fukuchi's pulse.

"And you are alive. Good..."

You booped Fukuchi's nose and kissed him on the cheek. And moved to Sigma.

You stared at him. Check his pulse. Then nodded.

"And you looked alive and not in a coma. Good... Great..."

You rub your face on Sigma's chest and kiss his nose. You walked towards the bookshelves.

You pick up one book and carry it to the table. Then you walked in the different part of the library.

When you were far away, Sigma spoke.

"Has anyone understand, what happened right now?"

Yosano, who opened her phone, answered.

"Season 5 finale of our show aired a few hours ago. It seems, that Fyodor, Fukuchi, and, maybe, Sigma died at the end."

BSD Gang looked at each other. Atsushi spoke.

"I have a proposition. Let's not held it against [Y/N], if they called us fictional. In that situation, they would be right."

A choir of 'yes' was his answer.

You were back. You were carrying a heavy bronze bust of this world Fyodor Dostoevsky.

You got a big collection of writers bust from your uncle as a present. They were a nice decoration for a library.

You put bronze Dostoevsky on the table. Then you growl.

"Guys.... I am sleep-deprived and angry. I apologize in advance for my next actions or words."

You didn't wait for their answer and pick up the phone. You accidentally put it on a speaker.

"[C/N], you are a slowpoke."

"What?!" her voice sounded squeaky.

You opened the book.

"Fukuchi Ouchi was born 182 years ago... People don't live for that long... As for Fyodor Dostoevsky..."

You check a date on the bottom of the bronze bust.

"He was born 202 years ago. People don't live for that long, either."

You breathe in and out.

"You kind of missed the news for a few years."

[C/N] sounds offended.

"[Y/N], I was talking about BSD..."

You lean on Bronze Dostoevsky.

"[C/N], when I gave you this phone number, I did this, so you can call me in case of an emergency. Yes... Death is an emergency... But... You should call only if the person who died is someone close to our family, we need to identify the body, go to the hospital, or need to pay for the funeral."

[C/N] whine.

"B-but... Fyodor... Sigma... Fukuchi..."

You try your best not to shout.

"[C/N], what do you want me to do? Call the police? Or an ambulance?"

"I... I..."

You sighed.

"[C/N]... I get it, you are upset. But, please, don't call me in the middle of the night without reason. You could discuss last episode online."

The phone was silent. Then [C/N] spoke again.

"You are right. I am sorry, [Y/N]. Good night."

The call ended.

You yawn and start walking to your room. You were too tired to move the Bronze Dostoevsky back to its place and decide to left it on the table.

"Sorry everyone and good night."

Slowly all of you go to your rooms. The house was quiet again.

______

You were on the beach. The sun was shining, the sea was warm. You and BSD gang were having fun. You were ready to dive into the sea...

RING!!!!!!! RING!!!! RING!!!!

_____

You almost ripped the Library door off its hinders.

The library once again were swarmed by everyone, who lived in the house.

You pick up the phone, accidentally putting it on speaker.

"What?!"

It was [C/N] again.

"[Y/N], mom said that I should call you and apologize for waking you up..."

You lost consciousness for a few seconds... You feel like you grabbed something and hit the table with this something with all your might.

You heard the loud crack.

You shake your head. You were holding Dostoevsky's bust. There was a crack on the table. And the speaker button on the phone was stuck.

BSD Characters took a step back from you. They looked worried.

[C/N] whined.

"What..."

"Dostoevsky's bronze bust. Now I need a new table." You sounded dead. "By the way. I knew where you live, and I have a car."

You breathe in.

"If you call me in the middle of the night again. I will go to your house. Then I will lobotomize you with my fingernails."

[C/N] gulped.

"I... I... Good Night."

The call ended. The room was quiet.

You put Bronze Dostoevsky back on the table. You unplug the phone.

"Should have done it earlier. The broken table and phone will add character to the room."

You left the room on wobbly legs.

You make few steps outside the library and fell down on the floor and start snoring.

______

This day, BSD Gang learn an important lesson. Sleep-deprived, you are a force to recon with.

They decide not to replace the table and phone. They do add character to the library.

[stanheightsimp]

This sick strange darkness | Adam Stanheight x GN(afab)!Reader (NSFW)

Sitting on the balcony and watching the rain fall with Adam | 2545 words

(this is an AI-generated image, to illustrate what I had in mind)

I cannot sleep I cannot dream tonight I need somebody and always This sick strange darkness Comes creeping on so haunting every time - I Miss You, Blink 182

🪚 Content Warning : NSFW smut, vaginal sex, creampie, unprotected sex, spit kink

MINORS DNI

You're an urbexer living in Jersey City. Two months ago, a young man about your age, Adam Stanheight, disappeared. You were particularly affected, because he was your age. He could have been one of your friends, or even you. You'd often, if not every day, seen a sad-faced woman pasting missing person posters on the gray walls of Jersey. On several occasions, you went to her aid. She was Adam's mother. She often talked to you about him, about how, despite appearances, he was a good boy, passionate about photography, rock music and animals. Despite the fact that you helped this woman with all the determination you could muster, you were certain that Adam was gone for good. And that made you sad.

Despite the worrying climate of disappearances in town, this didn't stop you from doing your usual urbex. While exploring an abandoned house, "a great spot" according to your buddy who'd put you onto it, you found Adam. He was chained to a wall in a squalid bathroom, having not eaten for… days, weeks, perhaps? You still had one of his missing person posters in the back pocket of your jeans. Reassuring him as best you could (which wasn't easy), you called for help, and Adam was released.

Adam spent several days in hospital, before he was able to return home. But as soon as he stepped out of his shithole of an apartment, he felt very, very bad. Partly because it was the apartment in which he'd been captured. And secondly, because after spending several weeks alone, in complete darkness, he had a very, very hard time with solitude.

You were the first person he thought to call. Because you found him. Because you'd seen him at his worst, clinging to your leg, begging you not to leave him behind, as you were just about to leave for the front door to greet the paramedics.

You ended up sleeping at his place more often than you slept at yours, even finding his old sofa a pleasant place to sleep.

That evening, it was a stormy night. You couldn't get to sleep, listening to the sound of rain beating against the window and thunder rumbling in the distance. You didn't hear Adam's little footsteps approaching. He was curled up in his blanket, staring blankly at an invisible spot on the grimy living-room wall.

Hey, you you said. You okay?

He lowered his eyes and shook his head, before coming to sit on the sofa beside you.

Easy, Adam, breathe, you said, feeling the explosion near.

You'd learned to recognize the warning signs of Adam's mental breakdown. So you pulled him against you.

Another nightmare, eh? you guessed.

He gave you no response other than a slight nod, and a whispered sorry as he buried his face in your shoulder. You proceeded to rub the back of his hand with the palm of your hand, repeating comforting words in a low voice:

You're here with me, Adam, you're not in that squalid bathroom anymore. You're all right now. I won't let anyone hurt you, I'm here, Adam.

Outside, the storm was raging. Adam hiccupped, before starting to sob softly against your shoulder.

Adam, breathe, you whispered in his ear. Remember what we said. It's all right, Adam. Everything's all right.

He nodded weakly. Suddenly, an idea crossed your mind.

How about a smoke on the balcony? We'd be out of the rain and we could watch the rain fall. What do you say?

He raised his head and sniffed.

Yeah, I could use a cigarette.

You got up at the same time, Adam still wrapped in his blanket, he grabbed the pack of cigarettes from his coffee table, and you went out onto his balcony. The cold was biting, and you shivered.

As you both sat on the balcony, backs against the wall, Adam spread the flaps of his blanket so that you were both wrapped up in it, like a cocoon. His body was warm, you couldn't help but notice.

It feels good, he confided. You know, to be outside. It'd be better if it was somewhere else than in a place that's crap.

He pulled a cigarette from his pack, and proceeded to light it. And that's when, for the first time, you saw Adam. Of course you'd looked at him many times before, but now it pierced you. He was beautiful, painfully beautiful. Under the light of the moon, the flashes of lightning and the artificial illumination of the street lamps, the angular shape of his face was highlighted. So were his long, slender fingers encircling his cigarette.

He then handed you the pack of cigarettes, offering you one, which you declined:

I don't fancy a whole cigarette. Maybe I could have a few puffs on yours?

Yeah, no worries, he replied.

As he brought his cigarette close to your lips, allowing you to take a few puffs, he asked:

You know what's strange?

You brought your face close to his hand, took a drag on his cigarette, tilted your head back as you exhaled the smoke skyward.

Tell me, Adam?

Knowing that I could have died and no one would have cared. Not a single person in the world.

Your parents cared! you corrected him. Your mother put out missing person poster every day! And then… I cared.

That's what I don't get! he exclaimed. Why did you even care? Do you know how many people disappear every day? People who probably had a better life than me and a better chance of being found. People who deserved to be found!

His depreciation of himself, so sudden, so angry, brought tears to your eyes.

Because your mother told me about you! You're not the boy with the best life, but you're someone like me. Someone who does his best. Someone who's trying to keep his head above water in this rotten world. Someone who's imperfect, but who's human, sincere! you cried, your voice breaking.

Your gaze slid over him, and you whispered:

You're wonderful, Adam.

He flinched slightly when you raised your voice, and his gaze locked with yours, glistening with tears. A deathly silence now reverberated, interrupted only by the rain pounding on the roof and the thunder. His breathing seemed to freeze in his chest. So you did the only thing that made sense to you at the time. You took the cigarette that hung between his lips, half-open in surprise, placed it in the ashtray and then put your lips to his.

The first thing that popped into your mind as your lips finally met was the taste. They tasted of tobacco and mint toothpaste. Adam tastes warm. He tastes alive. His lips parted, allowing full access to his mouth, and your tongues intertwined. Who knew his tongue was so soft?

You deepened the kiss, coming straddling him, growling with pleasure as the kiss continued, Adam placing his hands on your cheeks. His teeth nibbled lightly on your bottom lip.

Adam… we… we should go inside, you said, your tone unequivocal about what's going to happen once you're inside.

Inside… he repeated. Yeah, good idea.

His lips were still touching yours, even if it had amounted to a gentle caress, his breath all against your skin. His hands slid down to your hips, and Adam let out a muffled growl before beginning to nibble your earlobe. Almost instinctively, your pelvis pressed against Adam's, and your hands went under his shirt, caressing his slim torso.

In one motion, you both stood up and walked back into the apartment, still kissing. Adam tackled you to the wall, devouring your lips with an avidity you didn't suspect, his whole body pressed against yours.

Fuck, Adam, I want you…

Yeah, I want you too, YN, he replied, breathing heavily, all against your lips.

With erratic movements and fingers trembling with desire, you started to unbutton Adam's pants, before giving up and attacking his t-shirt instead. Adam, raising his arms, let himself be undressed. You dropped his T-shirt to the floor, then ran your hands over his torso. He was really skinny; his captivity had left scars he hadn't yet healed. On his right shoulder, the bullet hole was still visible. He slid your pants down your hips, and his hand came to rest against your crotch, through your underwear. He smiled, his middle finger brushing against your already moist intimacy.

So wet for me, he said with a sneer, nibbling your lower lip.

Shut up, Stanheight, you replied, the end of your sentence choking in your throat as, through the fabric, you felt his finger sink viciously into your folds.

Hm? he said lightly, his lips sliding against your neck. You say?

Still groping, you made your way through the apartment to Adam's bedroom. You dropped onto the bed, Adam removing his jeans and rushing over to you with a hungry glint in his eye to remove your tshirt. Then, delicately, he grabbed your hand, slipping it between his legs. Through his underwear, your fingers wrapped around his cock and he let out the most glorious moan you've ever heard.

Take off my underwear, Adam, make me fucking naked, you moaned.

He made no bones about taking it off you, then taking off his own, sitting on the bed for a moment to see the mess you'd both become. Both completely undressed, both excited, both sweating and trembling with anticipation.

I want to do things to you, he says, his breathing shaking with excitement.

You pulled him against you again, naked body against naked body, eager to taste every inch of his skin. You kissed him full on the lips, savoring the taste of mint and tobacco, something new and yet so familiar. When you broke the kiss, a thin trickle of saliva connected your lips.

I want you to do things to me, I want you to ravage me, you said breathlessly, your mouth sliding down his neck to leave hickeys, as your fingers titillated his nipples.

Adam hiccupped with desire, his breath catching in his chest. His hand slid down your back, bringing your bodies together. He let his lips roam to your chest, kissing, biting and suckling your nipples with almost sloppy impatience. It was almost too overwhelming, almost too good.

You're incredible, you gasped.

He grabbed your hair, gently tipping your head back, and proceeded to devour your neck with ever so much ardor, while with his other hand, his fingers moved in and out of you

Adam… fuck me, you said, eager to have something other than his fingers inside you. You want it as much as I do, and I know it.

You proceeded to suck on his right nipple, tasting the salty, moist flavor of his skin. Adam let out another moan, more desperate than ever, and, moving his hips against yours, began to thrust delicately inside you. His forehead was pressed against yours, your panting breaths almost synchronizing. When he was fully inside you, everything seemed to stop. You stood still, as if suddenly aware of some kind of sacredness in the act. And also, let's be honest, that if you started to get wild already, you'd both cum very quickly.

Your hand grazed Adam's cheek and you got lost in his eyes. He gently began to initiate a movement, slow, ample. His fingers clutched at his sheets, nervously.

Your bodies were like two pieces of a puzzle. Don't think about the puzzle now, you are mumbling to yourself. Think only of Adam. You drew his face against yours, kissing him, and giving him tacit agreement to pick up the pace, which he did, kissing you almost desperately at the same time. Your nails dug into his back, probably leaving a few marks.

It's so, so huge, you whispered in his ear. You fill me up so good, baby.

In response, he grabbed your legs, and pushed them against your shoulders, sinking deeper into you. Your cry of surprise and pleasure echoed throughout the room. You opened your mouth, eager for sensation, but above all, eager for him.

Spit in my mouth, Adam.

Surprise flashed across his eyes for a moment, then, still pounding you mercilessly, he leaned forward, dripping a fine trickle of saliva into your mouth. Adam's taste invaded all your taste buds. He abruptly let go of your legs to place one of his hands on your cheek, kissing you passionately. A kiss filled with an almost indecent desire. Like, he'd just spit in your mouth in such a dirty way, and now he was taking you wildly.

Adam, I… you started, trying to hold back the climax that threatened to come. I love you! I love you!

Oh my God, I love you so much… he replied in a hoarse voice.

He kissed you almost brutally, almost as if he couldn't control himself anymore, as the rhythm of his hips increased at an indecent rate.

Then… orgasm reaps you. Just after he tells you he loves you, you cum, screaming his name so loudly that, if they didn't already, the neighbors must know his name by now.

Come inside me, you managed to articulate. Come inside me, I want to feel you.

I'm not wearing any... he began, hesitantly.

I don't give a shit about condoms, you replied, almost desperately, wrapping your legs around his pelvis. Come on, I want to see my beautiful boy cum in my little pussy.

Oh fuck… he murmured, burying his face in your neck.

You felt him spread inside you, and his hip movements continued for a while longer, before he came to rest, lying on top of you, his face still against your neck, his breathing short and choppy.

It was… he started.

Yeah. It was. you replied, stroking his hair.

He withdrew gently, and you felt all the cum he'd injected flowing out of you.

Oops! he said, chuckling lightly. Don't move, I'll get you something to wipe with.

He disappeared into the corridor for a moment and returned with a damp washcloth, which he ran gently over your crotch before caressing your cheek, looking at you with a look that expressed nothing but pure love.

I suppose now that we're… you begin, before interrupting yourself.

Maybe, after all, what you'd just done didn't have the same meaning for you as it did for Adam? Maybe it was just comfort sex in his eyes. He looked at you, tilting his head slightly to one side. Then the reasons for your hesitation became clear to him, and he gently kissed your forehead, before coming to nestle beside you:

Yes, we're together, and yes, you can sleep here. I promise you that by tomorrow, I won't regret anything I've done or said tonight, he said in a gentle voice.

You purred and snuggled up to him.

Outside, the rain had stopped. And deep down you knew it: this was the first night of a long series of nights at Adam's side.

[dandylovesturtles]

@theplacewhereidumpmyinterests I can't talk about most of them because they're part of an AU verse I want to keep secret until I have the first fic that's part of it written, and idk when that will be (by summer?? HOPEFULLY??), but I guess I can talk about the other one because idk if/when I will write a fic for him (I'd like to but like I am only human)

"more AUs Dandy?" LISTEN all I do is sit around and think about "what if"s, okay?

ok so this started as me being like, hm, we see Lou Jitsu with a rotating door of women, so many he doesn't seem to remember all their names, so it's not totally out there to think he might have gotten one of them pregnant, right?

and thus Marcus (middle name Kyle) was born! literally!

so the story for this is, Lou Jitsu had a fling with a woman in the early 90s, pre-Big Mama. they were both in agreement that the whole thing was casual and it didn't last very long, but oopsie-daisy about six weeks after their last night together she finds out she's pregnant.

she debates what to do for a bit, because, as established, Lou Jitsu is kinda a fuckboi and she doesn't really want a relationship with him. But once she decides she's definitely keeping the baby she feels like she can't just not tell him, right? so she tries!

...unfortunately he's dating Big Mama by that point and she interferes to make sure that Lou Jitsu never meets with the woman and never finds out, because she knows this would get in the way of her plans.

she takes never hearing back from LJ as a sign he just isn't interested in the kid and resolves to single-motherhood. which she is the best at, btw.

she's still considering trying to introduce Marcus to his dad at some point, but unfortunately her kid isn't even 5 before Lou Jitsu suddenly goes missing, with his teary fiancée telling a sob story to the cops. assuming, same as everyone else, that he's dead, she lets the whole thing go, though she does tell Marcus who his dad is once he's old enough to understand everything.

Marcus goes through periods of being obsessed with Lou Jitsu, watching all his movies and consuming every piece of media about him that he can find, and periods where he can't stand to even hear the name. it's up and down. from his perspective, LJ abandoned him and his mom, but he's also dead, so it's not like he can have closure on this ever, right? so it's just a thing he has to deal with on his own.

but he's fine! he's alright. he gets through high school, then college, then accepted into vet school just fine.

then... his mom gets sick and dies.

yeah, that's a hard blow.

but he's alright! he has a few buddies from college he still sees now and then, and he's started his zoo vet residency at the Bronx Zoo (with a particularly special interest in reptiles), so lots of new people to meet that way! he's doing great! he's not lonely at all!

(a few months ago, he was suddenly woken up by a surge of something, like dozens of voices were crying out to him for help, tugging him toward something, saying his family needs him...

yeah, no idea what that was about. he doesn't have any family anymore.)

then the sky opens up and aliens come out.

Marcus is at work, because of course aliens would attack at the beginning of his shift. he spends the day ushering survivors into safe zones within the zoo, using his medical knowledge to handle first aid, and just trying to stay sane as the whole world turns upside down.

and then just as suddenly as it all started... it stops.

in the aftermath, everyone around him is just trying to get home, desperately calling their loved ones and praying for the best. Marcus starts trying to figure out how he's going to get home, because the trains definitely aren't running, and as he looks as his phone for a spark of inspiration, he realizes... no one has tried to call him. his coworkers' phones have been going off all day, whenever they can get signal, as loved ones try to reach them, but... he doesn't have anyone trying to reach him. and as he sits there he realizes he doesn't know who he should be calling, either.

so. that's pretty depressing.

and as he's sitting there, thinking about his life and what led him here, in a now empty vet clinic outside the bronx zoo... he hears a noise. and then, voices.

ah great. looters.

at first, Marcus tries to call 911 - but obviously the call center is swamped. so he decides to take care of the problem himself, going to see who's there and get rid of them...

wait, who is he kidding? he's definitely not paid enough to confront potentially armed looters! he's going to get out of here.

but just as he starts to leave, he hears the voices again - coming from one of the surgery rooms this time. and they're talking about IVs... scalpels... anesthesia...

suddenly he realizes that these aren't looters - they're here to try and treat somebody.

and like hell is he going to let some idiot kill someone trying to do DIY surgery.

so he turns back around and bursts into the room... on two humans, a rat that counts as giant even for New York, and four very big, very injured turtles.

one of whom immediately points a gun in his face. to be fair, that's what he thought would happen.

"Donnie!" yells the biggest one, and, oh, they can talk. huh.

"Relax, it's just a tranquilizer!"

"Donatello!" that's the rat. there's a sound like a whip cracking and the one with the gun makes a startled noise and drops it.

now the rat is in front of him. he's looking up at Marcus imploringly. "Do you work here?" he asks.

"Y-yeah. I'm a vet."

the rat bows very politely. "my sons are seriously hurt, and I don't have the supplies to help them at home. I understand it is a lot to ask, but... we must use your supplies. please, if you could just look the other way."

Marcus looks around at the turtles, especially the one on the table, the one worst off. he looks mangled. he won't live long if he isn't properly treated.

a rat, two humans who look like teenagers, and the turtles. who the rat called "sons". now that he's noticing, they're all pretty short, other than the big one. are they also teenagers?

"...Are any of you doctors?" he asks. the littlest one starts to raise a hand, but the girl grabs it and forces it back down.

everyone else has left by now. he's the only doctor here.

alright. guess he's doing this.

"...okay, everyone make some room. let me get sterilized, and I'll see what we're working with here."

and that's how the son Lou Jitsu didn't know he had becomes primary care doctor to his teenage mutant ninja half-brothers. ^^

(and then a bunch of other stuff happens)