#spelling apologies its the middle of the night and i had to get this out before i forgot
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shooison · 5 months ago
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Scott Pilgrim being so deep in denial he forces himself to date all these girls and temporarily he thinks it works. But his mind always wanders back to Wallace. His best friend, his roommate.
And he starts to distance himself
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kissingghouls · 6 months ago
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The Prince
Part Five - The Hungry (ao3 // one // two // three // four)
Vampire Terzo x F!Reader
Summary: With Primo's help you and Terzo try to find a solution to save your vampire. (21500 words I know. I'm sorry.)
Tags/Warnings: NSFW, MDNI, 18+, BLOOD, horror themes, vampire violence, vampire bites, blood drinking, major character injury, vomiting, magic, SMUT, unprotected sex, and more tags on ao3
apologies and thank yous at the end 💜 xo Ghouls.
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 Part Five – The Hungry
“Did you sleep well, piccolina?”
Primo’s deep voice carried from the far side of the kitchen barely audible over the rumble of thunder outside. It was somewhere between morning and afternoon, though the storm made it difficult to tell one from the other. Heavy rain pelted the stone walls of the cottage in a steady thrum in time with the howling winds. This type of scene used to be so comforting, but now watching water bead and trail down the windows just seemed to make you anxious. Sitting across the room and trying to make small talk with Primo Emeritus didn’t seem to help either. As kind and inviting as he was, he was still a complete stranger. An immortal stranger with superhuman strength you were supposed to stay far away from. Instead, he’d insisted on baking cookies for you.
Shaking your head, you jolted a little as the kettle began to scream from its spot of the stovetop. Sleep had been the furthest thing from your mind after Terzo’s spell. A full night’s rest would have been a dream, but there was no getting comfortable in this situation. How long could you be safe here in the middle of nowhere? How long would they wait this time?
“Primo, can I ask you something?” You wondered aloud, hoping the impending conversation would drown out the sound of the storm and your own thoughts.
He inclined his head, silently urging you to continue. A loose piece of his long, white-blond hair fell over the painted lines of his face as he moved; the rest was carefully tied back with a thin black ribbon. His focus remained on the pale green kettle in his hand as he transferred water into a dainty teapot at the edge of the counter. He moved with such precision, yet still maintained some impossibly delicate grace—the opposite of the way Terzo carried himself. There were other differences—far more than you could count—but where Terzo’s softness was an edge blunted by time, Primo’s seemed to be gently blurred into everything he did.
A flash of lightning filled the kitchen with bright light, the bank of windows on the eastern wall providing the perfect vantage point. You shuddered as thunder followed, too close and too loud for your own comfort. The storm blew a gentle breeze through the cracked windows and the ceiling fan above dragged it further in as it spun in lazy, lopsided circles. The kitchen smelled of florals and tea and rain, feeling like a Sunday afternoon you shouldn’t have access to. Everything was a little too dreamy, made fuzzy by a filter tinged with warm yellow-green like a flashback to someone else’s nostalgic past.
Someone else’s life. 
“Why settle in this place?” you asked, vividly recalling the cracked asphalt and sun-bleached everything you’d passed on your way through town. “Why…here? The secluded cottage makes sense, but why live at the edge of some abandoned nowhere town?”
He turned to look at you for a beat before reaching for two teacups. “Well,” he started as he dropped a teabag into the pot. “It wasn’t always abandoned, piccolina.”
He set a cup in front of you before joining you at the table, a sigh leaving his lips as the wooden chair creaked beneath him. “This town…it used to full of a unique vibrance that drew me in. I suppose on some level I grew comfortable here, much like the other remaining residents. But mostly I stayed for the work. That’s what I told myself anyway. I have no doubt that Terzo would have you believe otherwise, but immortality can be incredibly mundane. When I found myself in this little town, I watched it grow from nothing just like I had done with a thousand other little towns in my lifetime. But this one—it was easier to fight that feeling of boredom here, to find a purpose. I chose to put my energy toward something, to have a common goal with the people here while I could. There’s a darling botanical garden on the edge of town, built something like seventy years ago, give or take. I helped fund the project.”
“Really? So, it had nothing to do with the cute girl that delivers your groceries?” 
Black and white paint may have covered his entire face, but you could see Primo’s ears turn bright red. “That—she—hmph. She wasn’t even born yet. Neither were you for that matter.”
“Doesn’t mean she’s not the reason you stay.”
“The garden— “
“Sure, sure,” you teased. “Work, work, work.”
“Don’t start picking up bad habits from your beau, piccolina,” he warned. “Youth is wasted on the young indeed.”
“Not if you have an eternity to do something about it.”
He laughed quietly as he poured the most delicious smelling pink tea into each cup. “I forgot how much I enjoy such a human point of view. What of you and your eternal boytoy, hmm? What will you do when this is all over?”
You shrugged, pausing to consider his words. “Haven’t really thought that far. I think…I think I’d like to do all the things I never could before. No matter what happens I can’t go back to my old life—I wouldn’t want to go back, knowing what I know now. If I have to build a new life, it might as well be a better one than before. And if that sounds good to Terzo, then I’m happy to try building it together.”
“Hmm,” he replied with a thoughtful nod and faint smile playing on his lips.
“Belleza, I am happy to build you anything you want. But boytoy? Is that really what you’ve settled on, fratello?” Terzo grumbled as he appeared in the doorway, half-asleep with pillow marks on his face. He dropped into the seat next to you with a heavy sigh and rested his head on your shoulder. “Is that really all I am to you?”
“No. Sometimes you’re more of manbaby,” you replied and kissed the top of his head. “It’s ok though.”
“Ugh, I am so glad you two are getting along,” he teased sarcastically. “You are a bad influence on her, Primo.”
“Me? What did I do?” Primo mused as he took a sip of tea.
“You encourage her—”
“Ah.”
“—to be mean to me,” he whined. “What happened to that wide-eyed naïve girl from before, hmm?”
“I have no idea who you are talking about,” you responded flatly.
“Ah, yes. What happened to the fierce and terrifying woman who pretended not to be watching me sleep every night?”
“She met an unbelievably arrogant vampire.”
He sat up and shot you a big, toothy grin. “Oh, bellezza, was I your first?”
Primo groaned loudly and pushed away from the table. “Whatever you’re trying to do fratellino, do not do it in my kitchen.”
“Ah, calm down old man. I’m only teasing.”
“You were the one I liked enough to save. Even with your baking skills.”
Primo nearly spat out his tea. “Oh, Terzo, tell me you didn’t.”
“I was trying to do something nice for you, bellezza. But fine, fine. Let’s all pick on Terzo!” he grumbled as he stood. For a split-second the life left his eyes, the light within him dimming like a flickering lightbulb in a haunted basement. He was completely blank—jaw slack and body limp. Primo crossed the room before you could even think to react, rushing over to keep his brother’s body from collapsing to the floor. Terzo recovered just as quickly, coming back to himself as he stumbled slightly. He wrenched himself out of his brother’s hold and glared at him, teeth gritted.
“Fratellino—"
“Don’t,” he hissed. “I am fine, Primo.”
“Clearly you are not. How many more times has this happened?” Primo asked, looking back and forth between the two of you.
You crossed your arms over your chest and raised an eyebrow. It had been a few days since the incident in the bedroom and—as far as you knew—he had been completely fine ever since. If he’d started having spells again, this was the first you were hearing of it despite the promise he’d made. “Terzo?”
He shifted from one foot to the other, face washed with guilt as he concentrated on the floor and shrugged. “It… it’s happened a few more times now.”
“A few? What the hell, Terzo?”
“It was only for a couple seconds, bellezza! It wasn’t like the other times!”
“That’s not the point!”
“She is right, fratellino,” Primo agreed gravely. “You should have told me this was still happening.”
“Oh, do I need to report every detail of my life to you now? Would you like to know exactly what we did last night?”
Primo’s teacup flew from his hands and hit the sink, bursting into dozens of porcelain shards. He was so angry he was shaking; his white eye seemed to glow with his fury as his face darkened. You and Terzo jumped as he began to shout. “Satanas, Terzo you are still so stubborn!”
“Bellezza,” Terzo started quietly, moving between you and Primo. He placed a hand on your cheek and lowered his voice. “Would you please excuse us for a moment?”
You nodded silently, searching his eyes for any sign of worry as he urged you to go. You’d barely made it a few steps out of the room before the argument properly started. As you moved through the cottage their voices turned from hushed tones to an almost violent sounding shouting match. The escalation had them rapidly switching between languages to find the right words to fit their ire. None of it made much sense to you, so you let the bedroom door close behind you with a soft click.
No matter what you and Terzo had tried, the little bedroom still carried a faint smell of dust and disuse. The humidity had been so bad that leaving the windows open was hardly an option. At night when the heat broke the sounds of insects droning in the woods was so loud you could hardly think. By the time the storm rolled in, you’d given up completely on trying to air out the room.
You collapsed on the creaky old bed, balling the ancient quilt in your fists. It was still happening. Whatever they’d done to Terzo, whatever poison they’d created this time was still living within him. Things were already complicated enough, but if Terzo was still effected after this many days you knew it would only get worse. If he was hiding it from you, maybe they already had.
A tear slipped down your cheek. You’d been through so much together in such a short time, so many fucked up situations that most people would never have to think about. In some way it made sense if he didn’t trust you yet—you understood that, especially with the way the two of you had ended up together. What you couldn’t understand was why the thought of Terzo not trusting you hurt so much. Why it felt like hot knives in your chest, the searing painful burn of unease. Maybe you hadn’t done enough to show him he could trust you. Maybe he never would. You pressed a throw pillow over your mouth to stifle your cries, endlessly embarrassed by whatever this fucking feeling was.
A soft, barely audible knock on the door signaled the end of the Emeritus screaming match. Terzo said your name from the other side, speaking so gently you knew he had heard you crying.
“Bellezza? May I come in?”
You swiped at your face, brushing away whatever stray tears were left as you called out, “is that some kind of vampire joke?”
The door opened a crack, just enough that you could see his eyebrows pull together in confusion. “We don’t—that’s not a real thing.”
“I know. It’s ok, you can come in.”
He shuffled into the room and closed the door behind him. As he reached the foot of the bed, he dropped to his knees and laid his head in your lap.
“I’m terrible at this,” he admitted quietly.
“At what?”
“Apologies…relationships…honesty.” He sighed heavily. “Vulnerability.”
“None of those things are easy, Terzo.” You ran a hand through his hair as he nuzzled his face into your leg. “I’m not good at them either.”
“You deserve better than me—”
“Don’t say that.”
“I just mean…you deserve a better me than I’ve been lately. I should have told you.”
“Do you trust me?”
He looked up and locked eyes with you. “With my eternal life, bellezza. With everything I am.”
“No more secrets, ok? I want to help you, but I can’t if you keep hiding things from me, Terzo. It…it fucking hurts.”
“I am so sorry, bellezza. So, so sorry. I will tell you everything, anything you want to know.”
-x- Four Months Later -x-
Primo’s house smelled sweet—like sugar and fresh vanilla mixed with roses flowering in a gentle breeze. But underneath the pleasant scent was a hint of copper, a warm metallic tinge that permeated absolutely everything. Your entire life was covered in blood; it coated your borrowed clothes and seeped into your bedsheets, hanging in the air like a permanent red haze. You couldn’t get away from it if you tried. The taste settled on your tongue, bitter and harsh without the sweetness of Terzo’s kiss to wash it away.
Even the gardens felt wounded, the lifeless and bare shrubs now naked against the chilly autumn wind. The surrounding woods had turned as red as everything else, a dying fire against a cold, grey sky. It was hard to stay hopeful on days like this, hard to see beyond what looked like the end of the world.
Your world, anyway.
This was not how things were supposed to go. Stillness fell over the property, stretching past the woods to blot out the stars. You sat at the end of the path, knees in the dirt as you tried to decide your next move and the world just…carried on around you. Time and nature weren’t bound by the same crushing weight that followed you day-in and day-out. They just kept moving. Kept changing.
You dug your hands into the soil, grasping for something—anything—to distract you from the tears slipping down your cheeks. You were so tired of crying. Tired of thinking and feeling and being while just fucking waiting. Waiting for months with only uncertainty and pain to keep you company during the day. Waiting and watching as your lover struggled and grew weaker. You wanted to scream, wanted to scream so loud and for so long that even the old gods were forced to watch you cough up blood. It wouldn’t help but it would be something, anything that didn’t feel like this.
Something that didn’t feel like mourning.
“Do werewolves have big teeth?” you asked him, genuinely curious. Of all the things you’d come to learn about, you still had trouble wrapping your head around your sweet elderly neighbor transforming under the full moon.
Terzo gave you a half-smile as he rolled onto his side. “Not as big as mine, bellezza,” he replied suggestively, practically purring in your ear. His hand fell to your hip, pawing at the bare skin as he nipped at your neck.
“You are the absolute worst,” you groaned, but you didn’t mean it. You never did. These moments with him—these silly little conversations shared in the afterglow with bare chests and sweaty skin—you’d give anything to keep each other here forever.
“Ah, but not five minutes ago I was the best you’d ever had, no?”
“I never said that?”
“Excuse me—"
“It’s true, but I never said it. Wouldn’t it be kind of fucked up if you were bad in bed? Like how many years have you been doing this? A couple thousand?”
“Bellezza, I am not that old,” he grumbled.
“Well, that’s a shame. I’ve been into older men lately.”
“Better only be one man.”
“Aw, Terzo are you jealous?”
“What if I was, amore?” There was hurt in his tone, a seriousness that bit into you with venomous fangs.
“Terzo—”
“I’m sorry, amore mio. I know this isn’t easy for either of us, but—”
You cut him off by covering his mouth with your hands. “You are the only man for me, Terzo Emeritus. Do I need to show you again?”
A warm hand gripped your shoulder, pulling you back to the dying garden. Primo didn’t even flinch as you flung yourself at him, tears and dirt staining the silk of his fancy robe. He’d never mention it; Primo never once asked you to stop feeling, never told you to pull yourself together or chastised you for being an embarrassment to the organization. Primo Emeritus—a man you were taught your entire life to fear above all others—only ever offered you a shoulder to cry on.
And if that wasn’t enough, he’d simply offer the other.
He held you tight, quietly humming some centuries-old forgotten lullaby as your tears ran their course. He wouldn’t speak until you were ready. He never pushed or insisted that this would pass. He just waited to hear what you had to say. It took you a long time to get used to that level of empathy, for his simple acts of compassion to not feel like ulterior motives. But eventually you realized he couldn’t fix you any more than you could stop him from being a vampire. He only wanted to help you.
“It’s not fair,” you managed between sobs. “It’s not fair.”
“No, piccolina, it isn’t fair,’ he agreed, smoothing a hand over your hair. “It’s too much for either of you. But I swore to you I would help, sì?”
You nodded numbly.
He knelt in front of you, grinding more stains into the material of his robe as he placed a hand under your chin. “I would not lie to you, piccolina. I will save Terzo. No matter the cost.”
“What do you mean the cost?” you shot back, voice trembling.
He tutted softly and patted your hand before helping you to your feet. “Nothing you need worry about, my dear.”
“Primo,” you leveled. “What are you—”
“Hush now, piccolina. Why don’t we wake the sleeping beauty? We can discuss things together later, eh?”
You nodded once, knowing the vampire would hardly take no for answer. But something still ate at you, gnawing away at whatever sense of calm you had managed until you were nothing more than an exposed nerve. No amount of Primo’s wisdom or comfort could help you with this one. 
“Could I—can I have a minute alone with him first?”
“Of course,” he replied with a kind smile. “Would you care for some coffee?”
“Yeah.” Before he could get too far you reached out and grabbed his hand, squeezing it gently. “Thank you, Primo.”
It was too small of a phrase for all those feelings, but someday you would find a proper way to tell him how much this all meant to you. For now, you hid your sniffles behind your hands and waited for the older man to disappear back inside before gathering the courage to face Terzo alone. 
Over the last few months, the little room at the back of the cottage had slowly become something like a home. Your home. A cozy space you and Terzo had carved out of Primo’s infinite kindness and filled with odd, yet beautiful things from Terzo’s past. A collection of his vintage clothing and accessories had been stashed away in a closet, pieces from another time left here to idly wait for him to return. Neither Terzo nor Primo had shared why he sought sanctuary here those years ago, but rediscovering his old treasures made him so happy you didn’t need to ask. You trusted him to tell you when he wanted to.
If he ever wanted to.
Your feet dragged over the rug, the soft fibers adding some kind of familiar constant in this new life of maybes and what ifs. With a deep breath, the scent of clove and cologne filled your lungs, a warm combination you’d grown so fond of. Some days you went as far as spritzing the cologne on your own wrist to feel closer to him while he was stuck like this.
As much as this place was home, it was also a mausoleum. A place your lover was laid to rest, spending most of his days in a state somewhere between life and death.
Terzo lay on the bed, his eyes closed and his skin dull and grey. His lips had turned a horrid shade of blue made that much worse the longer he “slept.” It never really looked like he was sleeping—his sleeping face was so much more expressive than this empty vessel version of Terzo. Primo once said it had something to do with circulation, trying to explain the line where science met magic to form their physiology. You listened, but it never made much sense to you. You didn’t need to know. All you needed was for your immortal undead boyfriend to be not dead.
No matter how hard it was, your days weren’t always spent in some lonely pit of despair. When Terzo was awake he was still the same old Terzo—effortlessly funny and charming in a way you had never expected. He seemed intent on making your life together as normal as it could be, still trying desperately to woo you with grand romantic gestures straight out of those movies he loved. Some nights you’d stay up well past an acceptable hour, just listening to him share stories from his questionable past, tales of “years ago” that could have meant 3 or 300 years. There were other nights the two of you poured through a book about the history and architecture of Meliora House, marveling at photos of the grandiose mansion in its heyday. He would have you close your eyes and pick a random page before telling about each room in incredibly vibrant detail. While you never stopped being impressed by your boyfriend’s ability to recall so many things over so many years, your heart broke for him that such a big piece of his past had been destroyed forever. How many other things had he lost to time in 900 years?
You made it your mission to create as many memories as you could in that little bedroom with him.
Sighing heavily, you climbed into bed and pressed as close to Terzo as you could. You gently brushed a few wayward hairs from his face, hating how cold his skin felt under your touch when he was stuck like this.
“Sorry I was gone so long,” you whispered, laying your head on his chest. You would’ve given anything to hear him take a breath, for him to wrap an arm around you and hold you tight and kiss you so hard your lips bruised. Sometimes you wondered if you just wished hard enough or found the right god to ask…
“I know you said you can’t hear me when you’re like this, but there’s something I really, really want to talk to you about,” you whispered. “And I’m afraid I won’t be able to when you’re awake. If you’re awake…then it’s real and you’ll hear it and you’ll know. But if I don’t say it, if I don’t tell you…what if you never get to hear me say it? What if you never know? If you never get to hear it because I was too scared to say it…well, that’s no good either. So, what do I do?” y ou asked with a laugh. “I mean, I know what you would tell me to do, but it’s just…I don’t know. I guess it really isn’t that easy, huh?”
You reached up and kissed his cheek as you considered your options. You’d traced every line and crease of the man’s face, memorized every mark and scar so thoroughly they might as well live on your own skin and it still wasn’t enough. You had watched him for so long now—before you’d ever met him—and you could still spend hours just studying someone so beautiful it made your heart hurt.
He deserved to know you looked at him the same way he looked at you.
“I love you, Terzo Emeritus,” you confessed quietly. “And I’m going to tell you to your stupid, handsome face. I will tell you every day, whether you can hear me or not because it won’t change how I feel.”
You swiped away a tear and cuddled closer to Terzo, holding him for what felt like hours. It wasn’t enough; it was never enough. As Primo knocked on the bedroom door, you buried your face in his chest to hide your emotions from the other vampire as much as you could. He’d seen you express everything from rage to grief and back already of course, but if you could spare him one more pep talk you would certainly try. As he shuffled in, the smell of strong coffee began to overwhelm the subtle hint of soap and sweat that lingered on your lover’s skin. No matter how hard you wished you could stay and get lost in him you knew it was no use.
Primo’s slippers scuffed against the hardwood, cups rattling on the same tarnished tray he carried in every evening. Ambling through the room, he set the tray aside and gave you a half-smile before producing a glass vial from his pocket. You sat up and offered your left arm, the right already bruised to hell from previous draws. You hated this part, hated that this had become so routine. You couldn’t get away from the smell of blood, but you’d grown numb to the sight of your own.
The next part was always easiest. A bandage for your arm and a regiment of supplements and vitamins to keep you healthy. Things that kept the blood strong, Primo had told you when it became clear this was headed toward an everyday occurrence. You swallowed the pills down and accepted the cup of expensive coffee the older gentleman had made for you.
The two of you had bonded so much in these shared albeit terrible moments. You doubted he would be so quick to let you into his life without the forced proximity, but Primo never seemed to be bothered by having you around. It didn’t take long for you to understand that he was a balancing act, a man on a highwire with bound hands and nerves of steel. But those feats of strength could not hide the worried, emotional side of a man several hundred years your senior. There was something in the way he had leaned into this caregiver role, something that suggested there was more to his story than what he was comfortable sharing with you. But there were times that he would share, absently recounting stories from his own past. He once told you how Terzo had become frighteningly ill as a child, somehow remembering that very same fear of his brother at death’s door though several centuries had passed. He swore to you in a moment of raw honesty that just as he had done everything in his power to save Terzo as a boy, he would not stop until he saved him again.
And he promised that Terzo never had to know how much you cried.
“Did you two have a nice talk?” he finally asked, turning away. He hunched over the tray and jabbed a spoon into the thick, noxious mixture of tea and herbs whatever else he used to bring Terzo back to life.
You shrugged, not willing to make any more confessions for the day. Instead, you ran a hand through your hair and gave a noncommittal sigh.
“You should rest, piccolina,” he warned with a sigh of his own. “What would he say?”
“He’d probably call you an old man,” you replied, wiping at fresh tears with the back of your hand. “Or he’d put on his grouchy voice and mumble the equivalent in Italian to get under your skin. What’s that thing he always says? Testa di Cazzo?”
Primo chuckled. “Yes, I suppose he would call me a dickhead. Lovingly, of course.”
You managed a small smile before the tears threatened to fall again. “I really miss him, Primo.”
“I know you do, cara. I miss him, too. Though it is nice that someone finally found a way to shut him up for a minute.”
You snorted out a laugh. “Primo!”
“Just trying to lighten the mood, piccolina.” He knelt in front of you and made sure he had your full attention before he spoke. “I will cure him,” he assured you. “I promised you, sì? And I am nothing if not a man of my word. I know finding a solution has taken more time than any of us would like, but—Bah! Let’s wake him, eh?”
You nodded and looked down at your hands. You’d bitten your nails to the quick and ripped your cuticles to shreds over the past few weeks, your body trying so hard to fight off the anxiety that threatened to swallow you. There was dirt deeply embedded under your nails from digging into the ground out of desperation. Pieces of earth still stuck on your skin like tiny reminders of your every fear. “Please don’t tell him—”
“I would never betray your confidence, piccolina. Are you ready?”
You drew a deep breath, centering yourself before giving him a firm nod. Moving to the other side of the bed, you propped up Terzo’s body as much as you could, fighting against the dead weight and stiff muscles. You slid behind him, wrapping your arms around his chest to hold him in place while Primo readied the last ingredient for that awful elixir.
The smell was terrible, an overpowering punch of rust and dirt and the potion stuck to the inside of Primo’s teacups like roofing tar. The final ingredient had to be added seconds before consumption, like the half-life of shots of fine espresso but not nearly as appetizing. Primo nodded once to make sure your hold was strong before removing the stopper from the vial.
Terzo’s eyes shot open as the smell of iron flooded the room. Wild, hungry sounds erupted from Terzo’s mouth, feral growls that only grew louder as Primo moved closer and poured your blood into the mixture. The older vampire took his brother by the jaw, forcing his mouth open enough to pour the tea down his throat.
What used to take seconds now took a full five minutes. Every day you waited longer and longer for the vampire’s rigid body to relax and fill with warmth again. When it finally did, he melted into you with a happy sigh. Smears of blood and flecks of herbs clung to the corners of his lips as they stretched into a smile.
“Amore,” he whispered dreamily. “I missed you.”
“I missed you too.”
Primo pushed the cup into Terzo’s hand before ruffling his hair. “Drink the whole thing, Terzo.”
“I will,” he whined. He made a face as he took another drink and struggled to keep the liquid down. “Augh, happy?”
The older man said nothing as he turned and left the room.
Terzo quickly chugged the rest of the mixture before he turned and nuzzled into your chest. “You don’t have to do this, you know.”
And there it was, the last thing you wanted to hear ever again. You groaned and pushed him away, climbing to your feet. Tired of having the same conversation, you slipped into the bathroom to hide the fresh tears that filled your eyes. Primo offered you an out after the fits gradually became worse. He told you that you were free to leave, that if you wanted you could go on and start living a new life. He said you didn’t owe Terzo anything, you got him this far and that was more than enough.
You’d never been more offended in your entire life.
Part of you understood it was out of kindness, that Primo didn’t want you to sit and watch Terzo “die” over and over and over. As nice as it would have been to avoid, you couldn’t help but think how panicked and hurt Terzo would be if he one day woke up without you. The thought broke your heart into a million little pieces, just like it broke you heart that there were still days like this. Days when he’d wake up ready to push you away. His misguided, half-hearted attempt to spare you from this never ever worked. Sometimes you could even joke with him about it, but today…today, with dirt from the dying garden still stuck under your fingernails you wanted nothing more than to be with him.
“Bellezza,” he whispered softly as he appeared behind you, almost panicked.  He wrapped his arms so tightly around your middle there was nowhere else to go as his lips hovered near your ear. “I’m sorry, my love, amore mio. So sorry.”
You nodded and learned against him as the walls of that tiny bathroom began to close in on you. “Terzo—”
“Forgive me, amore?” he asked, pressing a kiss into your cheek. “Please forgive me.”
You turned to face him, staring deep into his odd, beautiful eyes. It was too hard to hold onto all that sadness when he looked at you that way, when he begged you. Your request was a whisper, a desperate plea in the silence of the room for him to just kiss you. He crowded you against the wall like he had done so many times over the course of your relationship and captured you in the most devastating kiss just as you’d asked. It was easy to get lost in him like this, to forget the awful trial he was being forced through and each painful day it meant for you. To forget all of it and let him be Terzo and only Terzo. You craved the way his touch quieted your mind, a gentle reminder that he was still here—that he would still be here.
It doesn’t take long for the spark to catch—it never took long with the two of you—and before you knew it, he was on his knees in worship of you. And maybe he did worship you, but you didn’t ask. You didn’t say much other than “please” and “more” as his fingers traced over every inch of your skin, committing you to memory on that bathroom floor.
It was slow and soft and you think Terzo Emeritus might be the only person who could ever fuck you against a wall and still call it “making love.” But you know that’s what he’d say because that’s what it is for both of you. You couldn’t stop yourself as he dragged his sharpened teeth across your collarbone and looked at you through heavy-lidded eyes, so blissed out and alive. It escaped you like so many of the tears you had tried so hard to hide from him and it hung over your heads as Terzo stared back at you, unblinking.
“What did you say, bellezza?” he asked, eyes wide and hips still.
You brought your hands to his face, holding him there. “I said I love you, Terzo,” you repeated, though you could hardly believe you’d said it yourself. “I love you.”
“M-me?”
“Yeah, you.”
“Oh, bellezza.” His mouth crashed against yours, clumsy and hungry as he tried to kiss you a thousand times all at once. “Love you,” he managed to say between breaths, directing most of his concentration toward carefully laying you on the floor. “I love you,” he repeated as he repositioned himself over you and slowly slid his cock back into your heat.  “I love you…and you love me.”
“Don’t let it go to your head,” you warned.
“Too late for that, amore mio. You’re there forever now.” He grinned down at you and pointed at his chest. “And here too.”
“Ugh,” you groaned, rolling your eyes. “You’re such a fucking sap.”
“Sì, but you love me.” He made a point of circling his hips to watch you writhe and keen under him, smiling the entire time.
“Terzo, please.”
“Anything for you my love,” he whispered into your ear before changing his angle and beginning to fuck you in earnest. As he drove each thrust home, you could see stars in your vision. That white-hot passion that had always burned between you was a flare, a lifeline you could follow back to safety, to someone who loved you. To someone you loved.
He held you close as you came, his fingers digging into your hips as your own clawed at his back. He followed soon after with his face buried into your neck, his breath almost instantly cooling your heated skin. He stayed between your legs, lazily mouthing at your collarbone as you both came down from the high, completely addicted to each other.
“I’m so sorry, bellezza. Please, please forgive me,” he begged once more, finally resting his head on your chest. His hair fanned out, sticking in odd patterns to the sweat on your skin as he lay claim to you once more.
“I already have,” you admitted softly, carding a hand through his messy hair. “Shower?”
He nodded. “In a minute.”
You granted him as much peace as you could on the patterned tiles of the bathroom, silently lying with him and holding him close until he was ready to start the day—though it had to be close to midnight by then. Things seemed to move slower in Primo’s house, as though time itself had its claws in the two of you. Even tiny gestures like Terzo’s fascination with washing your hair could never be rushed no matter how much shampoo he managed to get in your eyes.
You were the same way, of course. Taking care to steady your hand before tracing the angles on his face in that black paint. It was no small task, especially not after he explained the meaning behind it. Every time he would tease you about the serious expression you wore while trying to even out the lines on his nose, taking this delicate, intimate part of his life and making it into some silly game. And you let him, finding yourself unable to stop doing anything that made him smile. Even if that meant you were now in charge of buttoning his shirts for him half the time.
Part of you missed those ridiculous crop tops.
-x-
Terzo settled his hip against the counter, watching closely as you moved through the next part of your routine. Preparing his midnight “breakfast” fell on you as Primo very quickly forbid him from using any of the appliances, some unspoken memory of a culinary disaster shared between them with a knowing look. Carefully, you poured the contents of a blood bag into the mug that previously held your coffee. Try as you might, you could never get Terzo to explain why he liked sharing your cup, he simply asked that you did. It was one of his more reasonable requests.
With the cup in the microwave, the two of you watched the faded design slowly spin in the ancient wood-paneled machine. What once read “Everything’s better in” some town was barely legible after at least a decade’s worth of runs through the dishwasher. The cottage was full of things like that—old and yellowing, well loved, but still functional. You cracked a smile, thinking about how similar your 900 year old vampire boyfriend and a microwave from the 1980’s could be.
“What’s so funny, hmm?” he mused and pulled you into his arms.
“Nothing.”
“Nothing, huh?” He squeezed your sides, tickling you until you let out a high pitched squeal.
“Stop,” you managed through a giggle. “You wouldn’t like the joke anyway.”
He narrowed his eyes in suspicion, but the ungodly howl of the microwave timer cut off anything he was about to say. He reached for the cup and took a long pull, savoring the rich taste of A Positive with his eyes closed. A pleased hum rumbled in his throat as he tried to lick away the leftover traces, but a deep red line formed above his upper lip.
You smiled and let your eyes trail over every little line and soft ridge buried under the paint. Such fine details were only visible up close when he was painted, but you liked the way they added a softness to the harsh angles. You reached over and swiped your thumb across his lip to wipe away the blood mustache.
“You know I’m not going anywhere, right?”
Terzo stared back at you wide-eyed. After a beat he nodded and lowered his gaze, staring into his substitute meal with a hint of shame.
“I know, bellezza,” he offered quietly. “I’m sorry. I just—sometimes I can’t understand why you would stay with me.”
“Yeah, well. If you have to ask, you’re dumber than you look.”
“How dumb do I look?” he shot back, deeply concerned.
“Oh, bello.” You pressed a gentle kiss to his cheek. “You don’t look dumb. At all.”
He beamed at you. “Bello?”
“Sì, bello. Bellisimo, even.”
“I love you, bellezza, but your pronunciation is terrible.”
“Oh, fuck off,” you groaned. “Testa di Cazzo.”
“Such a dirty mouth,” he tsked.
“Said the vampire with a blood mustache.”
“Straws are bad for the turtles, bellezza,” he informed you, his mouth set in a deep frown. “I saw it on the news.”
“Ha! I’d believe you could fly before I believe you watched the news.”
He sighed. “Ok, fine. It’s something I heard Omega say once.”
You leaned into him, resting your head on his shoulder. He was so warm after he ate that you couldn’t help but relax against him. “Do you think Omega and Alpha are enjoying their extended vacation?”
“I doubt they’ve ever been happier. They’ve asked for a swimming pool for Christmas for the last, oh, thirty years?”
“Do you even celebrate Christmas?”
“No! Which makes it that much more irritating when they ask—"
“Hate to interrupt,” Primo chimed in as he appeared in the doorway to the kitchen.
“Feel free not to then,” Terzo shot back with a wave of his hand. “We’re busy.”
“Apologies fratellino but it cannot be helped. There is something we need to discuss.”
“No,” he replied with a frown. “No ‘discussions’, no tests, no nothing. Not today, Primo. Please?”
It was Primo’s turn to frown, deep creases forming between his eyes and around his mouth. He looked older somehow, more wrinkled and tired than he had a few hours ago. His body appeared almost frail, like a distorted reflection of the way Terzo had become brighter and livelier.
“Primo, are you ok?” you asked gently.
“Always, piccolina,” he replied dismissively. “Now, I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t important. Could you two join me in the lab?”
Terzo sighed heavily and knocked back the rest of his breakfast in one gulp. “Do we have a choice?”
“No,” Primo responded simply.
Together you quietly made your way through the back of the house and down the set of stone steps that marked the boundary of the original cottage. A large glass conservatory stretched across the back of the property; an addition made sometime later where Primo spent most of his time these days. The air in the structure was sticky and humid, heavy with the heat of the day still trapped between the thick panes.
You settled on the small sofa hidden amongst the massive leaves, the pollen from the fresh blooms making your nose itch as you looked around Primo’s makeshift laboratory. A worktable that should have been used for flower arrangements and propagation was covered in countless glass flasks filled with odd concoctions and a colorful assortment of potions. Some bubbled under the heat of an open flame, while others slowly dripped into a new container like moonshine being distilled in some prohibition hideout. Each mixture had been crafted by hand while Primo consulted some dusty old tome, working tirelessly to keep his brother alive. You weren’t sure if it was basic chemistry or some magical alchemy the old vampire had his hands in, neither would really surprise you.
“What is it you want now?” Terzo asked, clearly annoyed by Primo’s insistence. “More blood?”
“No, fratellino. You should sit down.”
He looked nervous, hands trembling slightly as he sat and sank into the sofa. It wasn’t an expression you were used to seeing on the carefree vampire’s face, even when things had been at their worst. Something in Primo’s tone scared him, which only made you frightened in turn. You slipped your hand into his, fingers intertwining in a silent reminder that you were there with him. That you loved him.
The exposed skin of his hands glowed with warmth—with life. You were glad to see him feeling better. Looking better. But Primo’s solemn expression cast a dark cloud over everything in the room. Whatever he had found, whatever he needed to say didn’t look good.
“Fratellino, how do you feel?”
“Better than you look,” he replied in a suspicious tone. “Why do you ask?”
Primo pinched the bridge of his nose. “Terzo…this isn’t easy—”
“You can’t fix it,” he whispered.
“No, Terzo that’s not—” he rushed. He paused with a sigh, searching for the right words. “What’s happening to you—the poison is…complex. It took a great deal of time to break it down and discover all the components—to understand why our temporary solution treats the effects, but hasn’t made any improvements toward ridding your body of this thing—"
“You’re blaming my body for this?”
“Of course not. Will you let me finish?” He snapped harshly.
 “Fine,” Terzo huffed and crossed his arms over his chest as he pushed further into the sofa.
“Mi dispiace, mostriciattolo,” Primo replied quietly. “My temper is harder to control right now.”
You felt him tense beside you as he cautiously looked up at his brother.
“You…you haven’t called me that in at least 100 years,” he noted in a whisper.
“Fratellino, do you remember what I told you when you were young?”
Terzo nodded once and wiped away a single tear with the back of his hand. Another memory shared wordlessly between two almost ancient men. “What does that have to do with this?”
“Our enemies underestimate us,” Primo replied grimly. “They think I won’t do what needs to be done. That I—have never faced such a harrowing challenge in all my lifetimes. Surely that is the only way to survive this long, sì? Fear in the form of self-preservation. That I would choose my life over yours.”
“What are you saying, Primo?”
Primo shrugged. “The thing that binds us to each other, the thing we need to survive—they underestimate its power too. I would die to save you, Terzo. I would do it all over again without question. And that makes our family different. It is how we are bound that gives us power.” He paused to look at you. “How we can be bound to another. Our blood possesses properties humans have never dreamed of. The trouble is it will take a great deal of our blood to fix yours.”
“Like how much?” you asked nervously.
Primo didn’t answer, instead he lifted a hand to silence you as his eyes darted around the room. The faintest noise came from outside, barely more than a rustling in the grass just outside the conservatory’s walls. Both men were immediately on edge, their fangs bared in warning as something—someone—moved around the building.
“Stay here,” Primo commanded firmly before making his way toward the door.
Terzo moved so quickly it felt like missing frames in a sequence, your brain struggling to process his actions. He pressed a knife into your hand, swiped from somewhere on Primo’s table. You stared at the thing, blinking slowly until the realization hit you. Danger. Someone had finally come for your vampire.
Silently, you eased behind Terzo and prepared to strike at whatever—whoever—might present itself. You held your breath, straining to hear anything while Primo moved through the side door, his long, white hair disappearing into the darkness.
A feeling crept down your spine—forgotten yet so familiar—winding your nerves tighter and tighter like a loaded spring trap. Adrenaline coursed through your veins, dialing your senses to eleven as you scouted the room. Your pulse raced uncomfortably as the chemical tried to take over your body and mind, every cell screaming for you to fight. To run. You’d spent most of your life training yourself not to be afraid, but that was easier said when the only thing to lose was your own life. But now, with Terzo—with the man you loved—standing before you, that sense was heightened.
There was a desire to throw yourself in front of the vampire—to protect him. No matter what it might cost you.
A shadow formed in the doorway, a large and imposing figure looming in the dark. You readied yourself as it stepped forward, prepared to fight off whoever had come for you. Light hit the solid form and the familiar image of harsh black and white paint in a shape you didn’t recognize became clearer. The man leaned forward, squinting as he scanned the room.
Terzo let out a sigh of relief, his shoulders relaxing slightly as he called out, “Secondo?”
You felt your heart stop as Secondo Emeritus focused solely on you. With each determined step he ignored Terzo’s shouting and shoved him hard as he passed. He crashed into the sofa, the frame completely shattering from the impact and the sharp snap of solid wood bursting into pieces became the soundtrack to your false sense of security coming to an abrupt end.
Secondo had a hand around your throat before you could move—before you could think. He squeezed hard, cutting off your air as he dragged you across the room. Tears welled in your eyes as you helplessly kicked and tried to free yourself. But it was useless. He was strong, too strong. It took no effort for him to haul you up and pin you to the wall.
He stared you down, teeth gritted and eyes filled with malice. “Tell me why I shouldn’t just snap your neck right now, little hunter,” he ground out, fangs flashing with each pointed word.
Fear and pain surged through you, swirling its way around the adrenaline already poisoning your blood. Your lungs burned, screaming for you to take a breath as his fingers flexed and threatened to crush your windpipe. Years of training flashed in your head, every weakness and warning you’d ever heard. What good was any of it now that you were actually faced with an Emeritus vampire?
Maybe, maybe you deserved to die at the hands of a vampire, but you weren’t ready to find out.
You reached out and slashed at him with the knife. The blade easily sliced through the fancy material of his suit and into the soft flesh of his forearm. Again and again you cut into him, but he still wouldn’t let go. With a growl, Secondo wrenched the knife from your hand and stabbed it into the wall a hair’s width from your head. The placement was no accident. It was a calculated move to let you know that Secondo was going to kill you slowly and without mercy.
In one last desperate attempt you jammed your fingers into the wounds you carved, hoping it would break his hold. A warm rush of blood oozed around your fingers, but the vampire didn’t even flinch.
A choking sound escaped your mouth as you fought for each breath, tears streaming down your face. “Ter—"
There was a blur of movement followed by a sickening snap and you hit the floor hard. You grabbed your neck, sucking down desperate breaths as soon as you realized you were free. But how?
Secondo clumsily stumbled backward in surprise; his arm now bent at grotesque angle. Bone and sinew poked through his shredded sleeve as blood dripped onto the conservatory’s stone floor. With a great howl of pain, he pushed a protruding broken bone back into its rightful place and rounded on Terzo.
Terzo crouched in front of you, spitting and snarling like a wild animal. His teeth made a horrifying sound as he threateningly snapped his jaws at his brother. “If you ever put your hands on her again,” he growled in warning, his voice low and terrifying. “You will beg for death.”
Secondo offered him a sick smile as he stepped forward. “I would love to see you try, little brother.”
Terzo rose to his full height, squaring off with the taller man. He was almost an entire foot shorter and his slight frame made Secondo look even more muscular in comparison, but size and scale hardly mattered when it came to the strength of vampires. As old as they were, they were both powerful and possibly deadly to each other.
Secondo’s smile didn’t falter as he took another step. “Do you really think you can stop me before I get to her?”
“Would you like to find out?”
“Boys!”
Primo’s voice rang out so loud it rattled the large windows in their frames. The noise reverberated through the domed structure, bouncing around as Terzo and Secondo completely stopped in their tracks. The vampires were now frozen in their battle stances, refusing to take their eyes off one another but neither dared to move.
“I won’t tolerate you being at each other’s throats, so you might as well get over it now,” he instructed before turning to Secondo and pointing a bony finger at him. “If you touch piccolina again, you won’t be answering to Terzo.”
Secondo narrowed his eyes but otherwise stayed quiet as the warning hung between them.
You scrambled to your feet, keeping your back to the wall as you watched for the next threat. A surge of panic ripped through you as a woman in a designer outfit appeared behind Primo. She gently brushed past him with a small nod and a hand placed carefully on his arm, an ornate ring on her finger catching the light. The gems sparkled like stars in the way only real jewels could before they were hidden under the velvet sleeve of her jacket. She moved with such elegance, even as she rushed to Secondo’s side and delicately held his arm to examine his wounds. He tried to shake her off, earning himself a stern look from the smaller woman that seemed to fix him in place. He cupped her face with his non-bloodied hand, quickly mumbling an apology and something else that brought relief to her face. They exchanged a look—the kind could only exist between two people who were deeply connected or deeply in love—before he pressed his forehead to hers. Secondo’s entire being, this massive, monstrous threat, seemed to completely melt away under her touch.
Peeking out from under her collar was the faint line of a scar. You quickly realized who she must be. Reginetta, as Terzo called her, Secondo’s little queen.
What had happened to them was no secret among the hunters. Time after time you heard about how some rogue group had infiltrated his club, ransomed his assistant, and set fire to the building. How they had nearly succeeded in taking him out in the process. It was a fairy tale full of corpses and poisons, one Terzo didn’t like to discuss at all, but in your time together you had heard the other side of the story. How the hunters had tried to turn love into a weakness and forced Terzo and Secondo to watch as they stabbed his girlfriend. You knew all about how utterly helpless Terzo had felt, how it haunted and changed him from a man you suspected didn’t have a care in the world to one who carried the entire weight of it alone by the time you met.
Somewhere within the ruins of Meliora House, Terzo had also kept a couple of Lucy’s teeth.
You weren’t a part of what they’d done, but you were hardly different. Terzo was in this whole mess because of you—because you also foolishly decided to try to take out the most powerful vampire family in history. And for what? The was no glory, no noble cause. There was just some bullshit sense of victory and justice fed to you for years. You never questioned it, not even once. Not until Terzo directed his attention toward you.
There was nothing about you that was worthy of his love and yet, he gave it freely. He loved you—a pitiful, undeserving mess of a girl with blood on her hands and next to nothing to offer him.
You tried to swallow it down, to make yourself as small as possible and disappear. A wounded cry left your lips as you thought about all the damage you’d done. All that pain and heartache inflicted for centuries by hunters just like you.
He turned as you whimpered, moving faster than your eyes could follow. Holding you tight to his chest, he began to whisper a thousand apologies into your hair before you could even think to protest. You didn’t deserve this, didn’t deserve him, but he was right there with you. Fighting the urge to sob, you wrapped your arms around his neck. Everything the two of you had been through, every errant feeling or emotion you’d pushed down bubbled to the surface and threatened to drown you. You were afraid. You were worried. You were annoyed and happy and loved. You were so, so loved. And you were the safest you’d ever felt—the only time you’d felt safe in your miserable little life—here in his arms. That thought—that knowledge burned brighter than any of the nasty things you could tell yourself about your former life.
Terzo loved you. He’d said it a million times and now you finally understood what it meant. And you’d fight to the death to hold onto it.
“You’ve got real shitty people skills, Twos.”
You lifted your head to search for the voice. Another couple appeared, gracefully making their way into the conservatory. Gold accents adorned their coordinating outfits, glinting in the soft light as they moved. The delicate fringe of their epaulets swayed as Count and Countess Copia gave their surroundings a once-over. Their painted faces hid their expressions, but their military dress suggested they were here for something serious. Terzo however, wasn’t nearly as stoic. As Copia took a step forward, Terzo let out low, warning growl.
“Oh, calm down, fratello,” Copia called out with a dismissive wave. “No one’s going to hurt you or the girl.”
“Honestly,” the Countess started and turned to Reginetta. “How on earth do you put up with him?”
It was Secondo’s turn to growl. “She’s a hunter,” he grinded out.
“Yeah,” the Countess laughed. “A teeny-tiny little hunter in a room full of Emeritus vampires. What exactly did you think she was going to do?”
“She can speak for herself,” you spat as you tried to untangle yourself from Terzo’s arms.
The Countess let out a deranged giggle. “Not if I snatch out your tongue—”
“You’re not going anywhere near her. None of you are going anywhere near her,” Terzo sneered.
“Oh well,” she hummed and turned her attention to Terzo. “Terzo! It’s so lovely to see you dressed like it’s this century.”
He narrowed his eyes. “Well, Sorella, I lost most of my things in a fire and had to run for my life.” He gestured toward her clothes. “What is your excuse for this?”
She flashed her fangs and hissed.
“Amore don’t tease a dying man,” Copia urged, and steering her away by the shoulders. He casually dropped onto the broken sofa, barely noticing the splintered wood at his feet. “Do you have any sort of burial ensemble in mind, fratello?”
“No, because I’m not dying,” Terzo corrected. His fingernails dug painfully into your skin as he buried a much angrier reaction.
“Are you sure? You look terrible,” Secondo teased, ignoring the pinch he received from Reginetta.
“If you’re not dying then why did Primo call us?” Copia asked. “Primo, why did you call us?”
“I’m beginning to wish I hadn’t,” Primo muttered with a groan. “Frankly, it’s embarrassing that none of you can be in the same room for more than two minutes before you start acting like children. I called because Terzo needs help, your help—”
“And not because you’re trying to show off in front of the little hunter, hmm?” Secondo challenged coolly.
“Mind your tone, fratellino,” Primo warned, accompanied by a low growl as he stepped toward his brother.
“Oh, here we go,” Copia grumbled with a roll of his eyes and leaned forward to grab a sharp, broken piece of wood. He tossed the makeshift stake at Primo and Secondo’s feet, issuing a challenge of his own. “You ever see a real vampire bloodbath, little hunter?”
“Enough!” Terzo screamed. His entire body shook with anger as he looked around the room, staring each of his brothers down. “You said we’d be safe here,” he spat at Primo. “You promised me.”
“You are safe here—”
“That stronzo grabbing bellezza by the throat is your definition of safe?” He let out an uneasy laugh as he turned to Copia. “Make your jokes, Copia. By all means, please have another laugh at my expense. But let me ask you what would you have done, hmm? What would you have done if Secondo had stormed into your fucking castle and grabbed the Countess like that? If he had threatened to take her life instead of killing a room full of people so the two of you could live happily ever after, huh?”
“Well, I—” Copia started, but Terzo angrily waved him off.
“I don’t want your fucking help,” he stated tersely. “We don’t need any help from any of you if this is how you’re going to treat us. If this is how you and Secondo plan to repay me for fighting your fucking battles I don’t need you here.”
“Terzo, hang on—” Secondo tried.
“No!” Terzo snapped. “If none of you have any interest in helping, just go back to wherever the hell you came from. Leave us in peace. Let me die in peace.”
“I’m sorry,” Secondo offered softly. The room fell completely silent as he took a few careful steps forward and placed a hand on Terzo’s shoulder. “Mi dispiace. I’m sorry, Terzo. I didn’t mean to—"
“I don’t need your apology,” Terzo grinded out and shook him off. “You owe it to her.”
You shook your head, finally finding your voice. “He was only trying to protect you, Terzo.”
He whipped around with an incredulous look. “He tried to—”
“I know,” you replied quickly, cutting him off. “But I don’t blame him for that. I don’t expect him or anyone in your family to trust me. Hell, I wouldn’t trust me. The things you’ve all been through…It doesn’t matter how much you trust me; I’ll still have to earn it from everyone else. You just need to know the only thing I care about is helping you and if that’s why they’re here—if that’s what Primo needs to fix you…” you trailed off and shook your head. “I couldn’t care less about what happens to me.”
“I care about what happens to you, cara mia,” he whispered.
You offered him a faint smile before pressing a kiss into his cheek. “I know you do.”
“Well, if that’s settled. Is anyone hungry?” Primo asked loudly.
-x-
The cottage had never felt so full of life. A kitchen full of Emeritus vampires, both new and old, were all finding their rhythm as part of the task at hand. Primo and Secondo were singing at the top of their lungs, beautifully harmonizing some old Italian love song while effortlessly crafting a meal completely from scratch. Copia had shed his military jacket in favor of a novelty “kiss the chef” apron while he hovered over a simmering pot. Every few moments he would look up to make heart-eyes at his Countess while she and Reginetta stood nearby, hard at work attacking a cake recipe.
It unfolded like a scene from one of those silly films Terzo loved, a dynamic portrayal of a family that only ever seemed to be found in the most idealistic fiction. Your family, what little there was, had never once committed such an act of togetherness. Even Terzo—who was barred from helping in any meaningful way—flitted around the kitchen refilling glasses of wine and slipping into conversations like the perfect host.
He watched you from across the crowded kitchen, wearing a look of warmth and light and pure love that felt almost tangible. Without missing a beat, he seized the opportunity to take your hand and pulled you into the eye of the storm, making sure you were also a part of the greater Emeritus chaos instead of on its fringes. Primo shot you an encouraging smile as the ladies turned to ask your opinion on attempting something called “Italian buttercream.”
Maybe it was better that your family wasn’t like this, that you had never prepared a single dish that wasn’t frozen or had any idea there was more to frosting than the stuff that came in a plastic tub. Until now, you only had a vague idea of what you were “missing out” on, pieces of that “perfect family” that never seemed real to begin with. You doubted you would have been able to appreciate it for what it was prior to this past summer anyway. But now, hearing the sounds swell around you in that small kitchen meant more to you than anything ever had—including that limited edition sweater Terzo was still hellbent on replacing.
The sense of calm extended over a dinner served around 4 a.m., but it was anything but quiet. Laughter was shared around the table just as much as the food. Copia and Primo scrambled to find their most embarrassing memories of Terzo through the ages like a mother showing off baby pictures to a prom date. Secondo remained distant, though he didn’t ignore you completely. Once Reginetta had warmed up to you, he even began to use more than one word to reply.
The extent of Terzo’s situation was revealed over a dessert eaten with tiny forks. After one too many glasses of wine seeped into everyone’s bloodstream, Primo laid out what he’d discovered to an audience of vampires stunned into silence. Terzo buried his face in his hands while Secondo angrily shot up from the table and began pacing the length of the dining room. 
Paying his brothers no mind, Primo outlined the rest of his plan. He’d found a solution, albeit a dangerous one. A mix of vampire blood, a rare plant, and a little bit of magic was all he needed, a list of ingredients you couldn’t quite comprehend. You tried your best to follow along and understand exactly what was needed to save your love, but the plan was so heavily flawed you couldn’t focus on anything but how risky the whole thing was. You weren’t as strong as the others, nor were you immortal, but you knew how to strategize and how to fight. You had an intimate knowledge of how the hunters’ network operated and everything Primo had laid out looked like walking into an obvious trap.
“So, this plant…you’re saying one of the only places to find it just so happens to be your little town’s botanical garden?” you asked. “I’m guessing this is the very same garden that you personally funded?”
“It is the same, yes.”
“I don’t like this, Primo.”
“I don’t understand,” the Countess interjected. “What’s the problem?”
“It’s too easy,” you and Secondo answered, almost in unison.
“Well yeah. But we could just kill them,” she replied with a huff. “Problem solved.”
“No, problem not solved,” Secondo growled back. “Are you even listening?”
“I agree we should kill them, dear Countess, but I must insist that we do not go charging into this. We will need every single body with a pulse that we can find, or we might not make it back from this. They will most certainly be waiting for us and they’ve had months to plan for our arrival. Hell, they’re probably watching us right now.”
“Ok but I do get to kill them, right? Like, after everything? Vampire snacks?”
“Who is going to stop you, amore?” Copia cooed, petting her face with a gloved hand.
“Bellezza,” Terzo started quietly. “Are you going to be ok with this?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, isn’t it possible these hunters might be people you know?”
The other discussions in the room fell away as the vampires waited for your reply. There was a definite possibility that people you once knew wanted you dead, but they were part of another life completely. Even if you hadn’t fallen for Terzo, they tried to kill you. You didn’t know if it was direct or just collateral damage, but the point remained the same. The hunters placed no value on your life or his, or anyone else in the room for that matter. They didn’t care what happened to any of you as long as they got the job done.
You took Terzo’s hand, squeezing it lightly. “If they are people I knew, they’re part of my past. They’re not people I want to know anymore. Honestly, if came down to it, I’d burn the world down to save you.”
“That’s not part of the plan, correct?” Copia asked nervously. “Don’t get any ideas, amore.”
“Must every plan involve all of you walking into an obvious trap?” Reginetta asked voice shaking as she pushed herself up from her chair. She turned and made a quick exit from the room, letting the front door slam as she escaped. 
“Tesorino, wait,” Secondo called out, chasing after her.
“She has a point, you know,” Terzo added sharply, rising from his own seat. “It’s not like this sort of thing worked out well for us last time.”
“Terzo, this is different,” Primo offered.
“Oh, you’re right. This is worse. Much worse. This time we don’t have Mary, Alpha, or Omega here to help—”
“I’ve summoned Earth and Air—”
“Fantastic. Why not call everyone so you can host a proper family reunion at my fucking wake.”
Primo slammed his fists on the table. “I’m not going to let you die, Terzo!”
He sighed. “If you want to yell at god old man, be my guest. But my time is limited and I’d rather be doing anything else, so I am going to bed. Bellezza, will join me?”
You nodded once, too lost in your own thoughts to even think about sleeping. “Yeah, just um, give me a minute?”
He frowned, worry lines setting deep in his forehead. He wasn’t very good at being alone these days, especially when your time together was growing shorter by the day. That night in your apartment flashed in your mind, his soft confession about quiet being too much for him to handle. Everything you’d done since you met was to keep him safe, whether you realized or not. But were you really doing enough? Why did it sound like he was giving up?
You placed a kiss on his cheek on your way out of the room. The garden called to you once again, its empty husk now an old friend as you winded your way down the path. In the distance, the horizon was painted a streak of brilliant pink, announcing the arrival of another new day. A tear slid down your cheek as you tried desperately to steel yourself, flexing your hands into fists to keep from screaming. 
Primo had figured out a way to help him, but you couldn’t help but think of what might be lost in the process. There wasn’t much you could do about it if this was what Primo wanted—it had never been clearer that he was in charge and whatever he wanted was the plan. But the possibility of something going wrong was so obvious even the others had spoken up, though it didn’t change anything. If the hunters were as prepared as you suspected, you would be outnumbered by an enemy armed with stakes, fire, and poisons that could literally stop the vampires in their tracks. 
Was it all supposed to be some hopeless task? A trial designed for none of you to survive? You weren’t going to let that happen, couldn’t let it happen. You’d fallen hopelessly head-over-heels in love for the first time in your life and no one was going to take that away from you. All the silly plots to Terzo’s favorite movies finally started to make sense. You were so terrifyingly in love with Terzo Emeritus that you would do whatever it takes to keep him. Forever.
“It’s beautiful out here, huh?” A gentle voice asked behind you. As you spun around, Reginetta put her hands up to show she was no threat. “I’m sorry,” she started. “I didn’t mean to scare you. Sometimes I forget how easily we can sulk around in the dark.”
“Oh, it’s fine. Um, where’s—”
“Secondo?” she finished for you. “Secondo is taking a very long walk in the woods.”
“Ah. Is everything ok?”
She smiled faintly. “I won’t try to make excuses for his behavior. It wouldn’t be fair to either of you and frankly, he’s a centuries old grown ass man—He just…I hope you can believe me when I say that he loves his brothers even if he has a very odd way of showing it.”
You nodded once. “I understand. It’s…complicated.”
She laughed, her voice high and light like she was the mirror opposite of the man she was trying to defend. “Complicated is certainly one way to put it. I don’t know how much Terzo has told you and it’s not necessarily my place to share either, but there were long stretches of time where they were all living secluded lives. They cut themselves off from the world and from each other, but when everything…happened,” she paused as she fought back tears. “Terzo and Secondo blamed themselves for things that were so beyond their control. I blamed myself for—well, that’s another story. The point is, I’ve never seen Secondo as scared as he was when he heard about the fire at Meliora House. Not even when I was bleeding out in front of him, because that—that he could fix. But if Terzo had been in that house…if Terzo was—”
The tears she’d held back began to pour down her cheeks as she flung herself at you. She wrapped you in the tightest hug you’d ever felt as she mumbled into your hair. “You saved him. You might not have any idea what that means for this family, but I can tell you it means the world to me. And I know you mean the world to him.”
“It’s funny, you know? I love him. I’ve never loved anyone. I love him so much it hurts sometimes and I…I never really thought that was possible for someone like me. It sounds stupid but I think he saved me more than I saved him.”
“The Emeritus brothers are funny like that. I don’t think I ever even let myself dream of someone like Secondo.”
You cracked a smile. “Like a vampire?”
She laughed again. “I will admit that was a surprise. Did you know the Countess was a nun? It’s probably safe to say none of us could have predicted the path we would end up on. But the vampire thing…that’s only a part of who he is—part of who they are.”
“And you.”
“Yeah,” she replied with a nod. “And me.”
“Can I ask…” you drifted off, wondering how invasive you question might be.
“What is it like?” she finished and waited for you to nod in return. “It’s…different. I imagine it’s different for everyone, but once you get used to the new teeth it’s a little easier. And having someone who loves you walk you through it is infinitely easier than I imagine doing it alone would be. But as different as it is, you’re still you. Maybe a little,” she stopped to wave a hand, “amplified, but at the core you’re still everything you were. I sleep easier now, my dreams are a bit brighter. It’s not what I would call a carefree life, especially right now, but I don’t regret making that choice. Not for one fucking second.”
“Tesorino?”
You both turned to find Secondo leaning against the gate at the entrance to the garden, wearing a look of worry under his paints. Reginetta’s face lit up as bright as a thousand stars as she held out her hand to him.
“Hello, my love. Are you feeling better?”
“I am, thank you,” he replied and joined her, placing a soft kiss on her cheek. He shot a quick glance your way before taking a deep breath. “Sorellina, I—my behavior—”
“Oh.” You waved your hands. “No, no don’t worry about it. It’s okay.”
“No, sorellina, it is not okay. Please, please don’t tell him I said so, but Terzo was right—that was no way to welcome someone to our family. It was spite and cruelty that was directed at the wrong person entirely. I’m afraid right now I only have words to offer as an apology, but I hope that will be enough, at least until this whole thing is over.”
“It’s—uh—thank you, Secondo.”
“There. Was that so hard?” Reginetta teased, poking at his side. He flashed his fangs.
“You know, for what it’s worth you were actually pretty terrifying,” you offered.
He almost smiled. “Thank you.”
“Of course. Just please don’t make me stab you again, ok?”
“I think you mean let you stab me—”
“Ok, we get it,” Reginetta cut in. “You’re a big, strong scary vampire and no one can stop you, my love. But it is getting late or early—either way we should all go get some rest.” She moved quickly, wrapping you in another tight hug. “I am so glad we finally got the chance to meet. Goodnight, sorellina. Sleep well, ok?”
-x-
Terzo was sprawled out on the bed, lazily flipping through channels on the TV with his mouth set in a hard line and his shirt missing. The rest of the family could be heard shuffling around overhead, their muffled voices asking Primo for incidental things like blankets or the WiFi password. In only a few hours the cottage had turned from a secret hideout to a well-populated ancestral home, transforming into a place where the Emeritus brothers could feel and act like a “normal” family. You smiled to yourself, realizing you’d landed in the middle of some bizarre vampire version of those stupid movies Terzo loved.
He looked annoyed and tired, but with his shirt off and his sweats low around his hips he also looked exactly as he did when you first met. You weren’t sure if it was the sudden arrival of his entire family or something else making him so grumpy, but even in a cranky mood he was still the most beautiful person you’d ever seen. Thinking about it now, you never really stood a chance.
“There you are,” he huffed and turned, stretching his body like a cat in the sun. A tiny grin betrayed whatever feigned irritation had been on his face moments before as he patted the space next to him. “Come to bed, bellezza.”
How could you ever turn him down? You shed your clothes and crawled into the bed, pressing as close to him as you could get. He was still so warm and soft, not yet showing any signs of the poison’s horrible effects. You cupped his face, urging him to focus on you. “I love you, Terzo,” you whispered. “I love you so much.”
“I don’t think I will ever get tired of hearing that,” he admitted softly and brushed a hair away from your face. “I love you too, cara mia.”
“You promise?”
His brow furrowed. “Bellezza? Is something wrong?”
You shook your head. “No, nothing’s wrong. I just—I think—I have something to ask you. And I don’t think you’re going to like it, but I need you to hear me out.”
“I don’t like where this is going—”
“This isn’t something that’s going to be easy for either of us, but if this is what it takes…if walking directly into the lion’s den is our only option to save you, we have to do everything we can.”
“Bellezza, you don’t need to worry—"
“Terzo, I want you to turn me.”
Shocked, he stared back at you unblinking. “No. Absolutely not. No.”
“Terzo—”
He sat up and made a few nervous passes through his hair with his hands. “Bellezza, no. It will kill you. Do you understand that? You will die, to death.”
You sighed as you sat up to meet his eyes. “I know.”
“Then why would you—”
“Because if we do this…no matter what happens I won’t stay dead. It’s…the simple truth is that I love you,” you admitted. “And I will do anything it takes to protect you, even this. Especially this.”
He brought a hand to your face and traced his thumb over your cheek. “It should be me protecting you.”
“Do you think really I can’t take care of myself?” you asked teasingly. “We promised we would save each other and I intend to keep that promise. Forever.” You leaned into his touch, letting your eyes close as he continued to stroke your cheek. “I’m going to make them pay for what they did to you.”
“Has anyone ever told you how sexy you are when you’re angry?”
“Uh, yeah. You.”
“Come here, amore mio,” he asked softly. Carefully you climbed over him, legs straddling either side of his hips as you settled in his lap. “They were very foolish to make an enemy of you, but what you’re asking for…it can’t be undone. It is forever in a way that I’m not sure you understand—”
Your face fell. “Is that what you really think? That I’m not capable of grasping the concept of an eternity with you? That this is just some sudden whim and I haven’t considered the consequences? I have had nothing but time to think about these things since we got here. And half of that time I have spent without you, waiting every day for you to wake up and being terrified that you won’t. I have considered forever and it’s fucking scary, but I am so much more afraid of losing you.”
“Bellezza, I’m not going anywhere. Now that I have found you, I will never leave you.”
“Then why is it so crazy for me to feel the same way?”
“It’s not. It’s just—what if you wake up one day and you want a normal life, eh? That’s not something I could ever give you.”
You leveled your eyes with his. “I’ve never had a normal life. You and me? We aren’t normal people.  We never have been and we never will be. I don’t want normal, Terzo. Why would I want normal when I have what we have? I want this. I want you. I want to help my very, very handsome vampire boyfriend survive. I’ll do whatever it takes.”
“Ti amo tanto, amore mio.”
Your eyebrows pulled together. “You love what?”
“I love you, bellezza. So much,” he cooed and reached up to cup your face. “You are the love of my nine lifetimes and I will do anything for you.”
“Even this?”
He nodded slowly. “Even this. Forever is a long time, cara mia— “
“And it still won’t be long enough, bello.”
He smiled brightly, his sharp fangs on display. “No, but then I will have forever to thank you.”
“For what?”
“For saving me.”
You smiled. “Well, somebody has to.”
“They don’t, but I am very grateful that you did.”
“Well, I love you. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner and that I haven’t really said it enough, but I want to be able to tell you everyday. For the rest of your eternal life.”
“It would be our eternal life, bellezza.”
“It will be our eternal life.” 
“Have you been hiding a romantic side all this time, hmm?”
You laughed, shaking your head as you leaned in close and pressed the softest kiss to his lips. “No, I must have picked it up from you.”
“Ah, I see. Well, in that case I’ve been an excellent teacher.”
“How do you stay so humble?”
“It’s a gift, my love,” he replied with a grin.
You rolled your eyes. “So, how does this work?”
Terzo’s brow furrowed as he bit the inside of his cheek. “I’m not entirely sure, bellezza. I know the basics—I drink from you, you drink from me, you die, you come back—but beyond that I’m not sure I could explain the mechanics of it all. Believe me, I wish I could give you more answers. Perhaps Primo could explain it in more scientific terms. But if this is truly what you want—”
“It is.”
He pressed his forehead to yours. “Whenever you’re ready, bellezza.”
“I’m ready. I love you, Terzo Emeritus. And I’ll love you forever.”
He leaned in, catching your lips in a sweet, tender kiss that said more than he could at the moment. He held you close, hands desperately clinging to you like it was the first time or the last time he would ever get to touch you like this. In some ways it was, but only as something fleeting, something temporary. The end of something that could give way to something so much more.
If the two of you would be forever, you’d have to start somewhere.
You barely felt his fangs cut into your neck. He had always taken such care in moments like this, always treated you like the most precious thing he had ever handled. To him, you were—and he made sure you knew every day since that first time you’d saved him. You could tell from the way he hummed against the wound on your throat his worship of you had no end. And maybe he had loved you from the very moment he saw you. Maybe you had loved him right back.
It flashed as your heart slowed, every moment the two of you had spent together replayed in your mind. Screaming at each other in the rain. The night in the garden. The kitchen. His stupid princess bed. Your entire life had led you to those moments—some bizarre, unexpected turn in your destiny had landed you here and now with the man you’d die for. A tear slipped down your cheek as your pulse grew faint, leaving you feeling dangerously calm.
Terzo pulled away and brought his wrist to his mouth, pausing as he looked at you. “Bellezza?” He asked, his voice thick with concern. “Amore—”
“It’s ok. I’m ok,” you assured him. “I just never thought I would be this happy.”
“Bellezza, you must drink from me now. Ok?”
You nodded, wincing at the sound of him biting into his wrist. He brought his arm to your mouth, encouraging you to drink as much as you wanted. As his blood flowed past your lips, you were surprised by how different it was. Terzo’s blood didn’t taste like sour metal on your tongue. He tasted like the way he loved you—warm and sweet and as endless as the edge of the universe with a heavy dash of something you couldn’t quite name. It was like drinking down something ancient and ethereal, yet just as familiar as every song or poem, book, or film you’d ever loved. As intangible as starlight and thick as honey, he tasted of beauty and joy and life.
You drank as much as you could, not wanting to waste a single drop of this gift he’d given you. It coursed through you, warm in your stomach like Kentucky bourbon and just as dizzying. You slumped against him, unable to hold yourself up any longer as his blood began to merge with your own.
“I’m here, bellezza,” Terzo whispered softly, smoothing a hand over your back. “I will always be here.”
A million questions formed and swirled around in your head, unable to travel the distance across the synapses. As they dissolved and fizzled out, your breathing slowed. Terzo kept talking, offering gentle declarations of love, but his voice began to drift until it was too far away to pick out a single syllable and you slipped into a dreamless sleep—
—and woke to the sound of shouting. The smell of blood surrounded you, dried and matted across your skin and in your hair. You weren’t sure how long you were out—long enough for all that blood to dry at least. How long did it take to die and come back as a vampire? Pain wracked your body as your heart began to beat again. Slowly at first, a heavy thump, thump, thump that pushed dead blood through your veins. Each muscle spasmed as you struggled to move for the first time in your new life.
Life? Afterlife? Or were you undead?
Fuck, it didn’t matter. You pushed yourself up, vision fuzzy as you forced your eyes open. Blurry figures with black and white hair stood at the foot of the bed, arms waving wildly as they screamed at each other. Terzo and Primo began to come into focus, but they were too caught up in their argument to notice you were awake. Pulling yourself into a seated position, you settled against the headboard and watched them repeatedly jab at each other.
“I’m not the one who’s lost his mind!” Primo yelled, his voice so loud you could feel it in your bones.
“Hah! If anyone in this house is senile it’s you, old man,” Terzo shouted back just as loud.
“Satanas help me. You idiots keep turning every woman you meet—”
“Not every woman. Just the ones we love, stronzo. Maybe you should try it sometime.”
“You little—” Primo ground out some unintelligible Italian insults, repeatedly striking the back of his brother’s head as a means of punctuation.
“No, your mother stronzo—” Terzo snapped back and covered his head with his arms. “Stop fucking hitting me!”
“Nine hundred years and you still haven’t learned your actions have consequences—get back here!”
“Could you two please shut the fuck up?” You growled, pressing your fingers into your temples. Both men stopped and stared at you, stunned into silence. Relief left your lips in a sigh, the quiet filling your ears as you let your head fall back against the headboard. You unclenched your jaw, opening your mouth wide as you reached up to feel your sharp new teeth.
“B-bellezza? You’re awake?” Terzo stumbled toward the bed, quickly climbing up next to you. He took your face in his hands, inspecting it for signs of anything.  
“Looks that way, huh?”
“How—how do you feel?” Primo asked.
You felt different. What was the word Reginetta had used? Amplified. Everything louder, brighter, stronger. More. Instead of elaborating, you replied, “kind of like I want to kill you both.”
Your lover laughed nervously. “Hypothetically, right?”
“Yes, Terzo. I didn’t wake up murderous.”
“Because you were lucky,” Primo warned. “Of all the stupid things—” He cut himself off and threw his hands in the air, laughing angrily. “Mostriciattolo, you are lucky she woke up at all idiota. Ah, Mostriciattolo e Draculina. Perfetto.”
“Primo, what are you saying?”
“Nothing at all, little one.” He gave Terzo a pointed look and left the room, slamming the door behind him.
“What was that about? Why were you two fighting like that?”
He shrugged and slumped onto the bed. “Same as always—I can’t do anything right, don’t think before I act, etc., etc. It’s all very boring, bellezza.”
“He’s upset about me?”
He shook his head. “No, no, nothing like that. He’s upset about the situation. Said it was ‘beyond irresponsible’ even for me, but he isn’t upset about the outcome. He’ll probably tell you as much later. Enough about my grumpy brother, how are you feeling?”
“Kinda tired. Hungry.”
He let out a happy sigh. “Oh, amore mio. Let’s find you someone to eat.”
-x-
Reheated blood tasted nothing like Terzo’s. Thick and bitter, the lukewarm liquid stuck to the inside of some old commemorative thermos instead of pouring easily into your mouth. You turned the container up and to get liquid to drain faster, a dissatisfied grunt leaving you as your attempts failed. The others tried not to make it obvious, but each of them had cast glances of pity your way. The Countess had been particularly horrified that this was Primo’s solution to your first feed, arguing with him for five full minutes before he’d ordered everyone out of the house.
Between the less than palatable snack and the endless sway of the vehicle as it lurched over long-deserted backroads, it was hard to concentrate on Primo’s rant. As distracted as you were, it was obvious that the oldest Emeritus was no longer acting like himself. The compassionate man you’d known for months was gone, replaced by someone loud and angry. His face was harsh in the dim light, his white eye eerily reflecting the streetlamps as he spun around to bark at his family.
“Have I made myself clear?” he asked and frowned hard at the muted replies from his family.
“We get it, Primo. You’re in charge,” Terzo added sarcastically.
His eyes narrowed as he leaned forward and pointed a bony finger at his brother. “Not another word from you.”
Copia spoke up as Terzo shrank into his seat. “The plan hasn’t really changed that much Primo. Don’t you think you’re being a little harsh?”
Primo growled, flashing his fangs as he sneered at Copia. “Is that what you think?”
The Countess sighed loudly and waved her hands between the men. “Are we gonna measure dicks all day or are we going to save Little Lord Terzo? Cuz I’m pretty sure I have the biggest cock around here and there’s no way our precious baby Draculina here isn’t fucking starving. And even if she’s not, I am. Your macho bullshit is far from appetizing, so can we wrap it up?”
“Excuse me?”
“I don’t know why you have your panties in a bunch when you know damn well every single one of us will follow you straight into hell, Primo. So let’s go.”
“She has a point,” Secondo offered. “We can talk about it for ages, but we might as well just get this thing done and get the kid someone real to eat.”
“Ooh.” The Countess’ eyes sparkled. 
“No one eats anyone until the ritual is complete. Do you understand?” Primo shouted as the van crawled to a stop. He waited for everyone to nod. “Bene. Let’s go.”
One by one the vampires filed out of the van, joined by the two hulking figures of Primo’s ghouls. They’d arrived sometime before you woke, wearing similar metal masks to the ones you recalled Omega and Alpha wearing once upon a time. Earth and Air were much larger than the ghouls you’d met back in the summer, only appearing vaguely human-shaped. Their forms were almost too perfect, the details a bit too sharp to sit well. Part of it was the heightened vampire sense, but Terzo had briefly explained they simply didn’t care enough to make themselves look more human.
You filed that in your worry about it later folder somewhere between “what have you been doing for 900 years?” and “explain werewolves,” before letting it go.
“Once we get inside, stick to the plan,” Primo ordered. 
“It’s not like we have any other options here Primo. Are you going to be like this the entire time?” Secondo asked.
The two older brothers began to argue in harsh whispers while Copia and Countess brushed past and strolled through the front door. Soft lights on the interior made the tall trees visible through the glass that encased the building, giving it a warm orange glow like sunset in the summer. It was a beautiful setting, full of ten times the greenery of Primo’s ridiculously lush conservatory. As you followed the group inside, you realized the botanical garden had a familiar touch. Primo hadn’t just thrown money at something 50 years ago—he created and curated a living work of art.
Terzo gently squeezed your hand. “Are you ok, bellezza?”
You nodded. “Does Primo still run this place or something?”
“It’s that obvious, huh? I tried to tell him they should update things, but he gets all fussy when it comes to this place.”
You hummed in response, gazing up at the lofty glass ceilings. Someday, you’d ask to come back and see this place during the day, but for now you had to stick to the mission.
“We should try to avoid an ambush if we can,” Primo began detailing his plan. “There are three paths to the exhibit we need. Copia, Countess, you two will come with me. Secondo, you and Reginetta take the central path. Terzo, you and Draculina will take the left path.”
“Is it wise to split up like this?” Reginetta whispered to Secondo who simply shrugged before whispering something back. 
“Remember, if you encounter any hunters try to leave them alive. Terzo and I will need every drop of blood we can get,” Primo warned. “We’ll meet in the exhibit in fifteen minutes. Be careful.” 
He turned and quickly walked away, leaving Copia and the Countess to chase after him with mild annoyance on their faces. Secondo nodded once toward Terzo before he and Reginetta made their way down the central path of the garden. With your stomach turning into tighter and tighter knots, you and Terzo moved through the left path.
Overhead, a system of fans and misters churned out unnatural mechanical noises, but the building was eerily quiet otherwise. Even with heightened senses you couldn’t hear any extra breathing or footsteps, no tell-tale signs anyone else was in the room with you. The occasional brush of a leaf against Terzo’s ridiculously puffy sleeve was the only sound that stuck out. It didn’t make any sense. The whole plot was designed to lure the Emeritus family here and there’s no way the hunters would’ve left the building empty.
Not even for a second.
The first shot whipped past you, barely missing your face before striking a tree. Before you could think much of it, you found yourself at the other end of the room, moving faster than you ever had. A small, metal cartridge had wedged deeply into the cracked bark, its pointed end breaking off as you worked it free. Inside, a clear liquid sloshed back and forth in a tiny vial.
“Terzo—” You’d barely turned to call out to him when the second shot embedded in your chest. Fire flared in your veins as the paralytic poison began to flood your system. Primo had anticipated this, handing out antidotes and vaccines before anyone left the cottage, but just because it couldn’t poison you didn’t mean it didn’t fucking hurt. You dropped on the spot as the vampire had instructed. Let them think it works, his voice repeated. Let them come to you.
It was easier to see now why Reginetta had been so angry about the stupid plan.
An unfamiliar face appeared over you with a cruel grin. “Aw, did that hurt? Funny how this stuff isn’t as effective on humans, but I hear it burns pretty bad.”
You gritted your teeth, keeping your mouth shut as long as you could. You have surprise on your side now, Draculina. They’ll never expect a turned hunter. Use that in your favor. You scanned the room as the man continued to taunt you, searching for any sign of Terzo.
“Where are the others, huh? I know you’re not stupid enough to come here alone.” He bent down, placing his boot on your chest as he wrenched the cartridge free. Pain radiated from the wound, pulsing in time with the beat of your heart. He tsked, shaking his head. “That won’t be enough.”
“Wha—”
He pressed a blade to your skin and whistled through his teeth, motioning to someone unseen. A dozen hunters silently emerged from the tree line and gathered to watch this man torture you. As Terzo feared, there were some you recognized, but not even one stepped forward to stop the attack. You held out as long as you could, biting down on your tongue to keep from crying out, not wanting to give them a single sliver of power over you. Blood began to pool on the floor beneath you and a tiny, wounded whimper escaped your lips before all that pain was replaced by something else.
The hunter hissed, pulling away to examine the fresh cut he’d accidentally made to his own hand. It took every ounce of strength you had left to stay still. Hunger ripped through you like nothing you’d ever felt before. A painful, consuming white-hot spark that could only be sated by one thing. You dug your nails into your palm, hoping to distract yourself but it was no use. You heard every drop as it moved from his hand and rolled down the knife before landing on the floor. It was so loud, a small insignificant sound made into a tidal wave.
You didn’t hear the others begin to shout as they drew their weapons.
Terzo stood at the edge of the path, his white eye glowing with rage as he stared down your attackers.
“Wha—I thought you shot him!”
“I did!”
“Why won’t you just stay dead?” the first hunter screamed.
“You threatened my family,” Terzo seethed, each step threatening. “You burned my brother’s business, killed his wife—"
“Hey, that wasn’t even us—”
“You set fire to my favorite house,” he growled through gritted teeth. “Reduced my home—my sanctuary—to ash and rubble while forcing us to flee in the middle of the night. You chased us, hunted us down in the city and sent assassins after us. And then you poisoned me and forced one of your own to make an impossible decision. I should tear you all limb from fucking limb for your arrogance. There is no honor among you, not a single shred of dignity spared for one of your own. You don’t even regret what you’ve done to her, what you all forced on her.” 
He cracked a sinister smile. “And now? Now she’s an Emeritus vampire and I’m going to feed all of you to her, piece by fucking piece.”
Your fangs pierced the first hunter’s neck before he could make a sound. The others began to scream and scatter, but Terzo was too fast. In the blink of an eye, the room filled with the sound of bones cracking and pained cries. A dozen bloody bodies lay at your feet, a sacrifice left at your altar by the man you loved.
The hunter hit the ground in a lifeless heap, his blood dripping from your chin as you smiled and reached for another.
“Bellezza?”
You tore through three more hunters before Terzo was able to restrain you.
“I love your enthusiasm, amore,” he purred as you struggled against his hold. “But Primo’s instructions were very clear. We need them alive.”
You turned your head, lips and teeth colliding hard with his just like that first messy kiss in his bedroom. Power rushed through you, fueled by adrenaline and something new—some impulse you didn’t want to control. Hunger. Power. Lust. Want. Need.  It clouded your brain, vision going red as you clawed at Terzo’s clothes and ripped through the fabric of his shirt. You pulled away whatever pieces you could, desperate to feel his skin.
You needed him now, more than you ever thought possible. The two of you tumbled to the floor, knees and elbows landing hard while never letting your lips part. He pivoted his hips and turned to pin you beneath him with a smile.
“Careful, bellezza,” he purred.
“Oh god, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” you rushed, conscious thoughts returning in a flood embarrassment and shame. “I—I don’t know what happened.”
“It’s ok, amore mio. It’s ok,” he assured you while petting your hair. “It’s not your fault. I am rather irresistible and you might be, eh, more impulsive during your transition.”
“Impulsive,” you repeated with a laugh. “Fucking is an impulse now?”
His eyebrows knit together. “For you?”
“Don’t answer that.”
“I promise, bellezza, when this is all over—” He trailed off. He froze for a moment, muscles tense as his eyes went blank. His body went slack, collapsing on top of you in a heap of dead weight.
“Terzo?” You nudged him, slightly panicked until you felt him breathe.
He sat up, shaking his head as he came back to himself. “I’m ok, bellezza. But I think we should get to Primo quickly.”
You nodded and draped Terzo’s arm over your shoulder, lifting him as carefully as you could. You pushed through the exhibit door and into the next room, following the path with your head on a swivel. Getting shot with poison darts had felt about as good as you’d expected, and you were in no hurry to let it happen a second time.
As you moved through the building the path leading to the exhibit Primo had pointed out was suspiciously clear. You hoped maybe that was a good sign rather than a bad one, but it wouldn’t surprise if it was some elaborate setup either. The hunters had months or, depending on the size of the operation, possibly years to plan for this. Any part of of the building could be a trap.
You opened the last door to find Primo in the center of the room, hovering over what looked like an altar. Dozens of black candles surrounded him, their flames adding an eerie flicker to his eyes.
“Where the hell have you been?” he hissed as you approached and flew from his spot. He reached out, gripping your jaw as he eyed the blood staining your face. “What did you do?”
Terzo gave him a weak push, urging him away from you. “We were attacked, you ass. Leave her alone.”
“And you?”
“I’m not doing so well. Obviously.” He stumbled toward the odd arrangement in the middle of the room. Strange symbols lined the floor, etched in chalk and what looked like blood. “What the hell have you been doing in here?”
“Preparing, you ass,” Primo snapped back. “Where are the others?”
“How should I know? I thought Copia was with you. What happened to your grand plan—”
“A plan to save you—”
“Yes, and I will be eternally grateful once you stop acting like—”
“Don’t you dare,” Primo warned sharply.
Terzo sighed and rolled his eyes, turning his attention back to Primo’s project. He took a few unsteady steps, mumbling something in disbelief before dropping to his knees. You rushed to his side, but he shrugged off your attempts to help him stand. Instead, he leaned against you and stared forward, eyes fixed on the strange plant with its single white flower at the center of the altar. He began to shake, shoulders heaving as he gasped for breath.
You shouted his name, frantically trying to get him to answer you or at least say anything. His eyes were still full of life as you forced him to look away, but there was a profound sadness behind them you’d yet to see even on Terzo’s worst days. The vampire was crying. It hit you hard, a punch to the gut you didn’t expect as he collapsed against you, sobbing uncontrollably.
“Terzo? What—”
Primo knelt beside the two of you and smoothed a hand over his brother’s hair. “It will be ok, mostriciattolo. Have I ever broken a promise to you?”
He shook his head and cried harder, unable to form the words to answer as he held onto you.
“Primo, what the hell is happening?” you screamed.
He gave you a faint smile and jutted his chin toward the plant. “It’s…it’s a rare species, effectively extinct. Beautiful. Poisonous. It’s loosely related to datura—”
“Primo, I’m not a fucking botanist—”
“It grew around our home,” he interrupted, his voice flat as he stared at nothing. “When Terzo was a child, the grounds were covered in it. By the time we—it was all gone by the time he became a man. Seemingly lost forever.”
There was another untold story in the look they shared, one that spanned centuries and somehow now included you. You held Terzo, hoping to ease his pain or at least offer some form of comfort as he slowly pulled himself back together. With a hard sniff he pulled away from you, tears tracing lines through his paint.
“Mi dispiace, bellezza. I have not seen this flower in a very long time. I was not expecting to see it again—”
There was a rush of footsteps followed by a slamming door. Behind you, the other vampires began to shout as they dragged any and every object they could find toward a makeshift barricade. The door bowed under the force of something outside, a rhythmic thud against solid metal.
“I am going to tear out your eyes so you can watch me pull your head through your ass you little prick,” the Countess seethed, hurling her threats through the door. She leaned against the wall; her right hand pressed over what appeared to be a stab wound. Copia shrugged off his jacket and knelt beside her to hold it against her side.
“By all means, take your time, Primo,” Secondo barked sarcastically and braced himself against the door. “We’re not under attack or anything!”
“Stay close,” Primo muttered as he helped Terzo stand.
“Where would I even go?” Terzo sassed back, his body growing weaker with each step.
“Not you, stronzo.”
“Hardly the time for name calling—”
“Shut up!” he snapped and turned toward the altar. He began to toss various herbs and tinctures into a to-go cup he’d clearly swiped from the botanical garden’s gift shop. There was a familiar smell of ash and rust as the mixture took on the properties of Terzo’s usual antidote. A thick green-black sludge formed as Primo painstakingly stirred and cast a look over his shoulder.
“Is everyone ready?”
“Do we have a choice?” Copia shouted back, grunting as he twisted broken pieces of the door’s metal frame against itself.
“No matter what happens you must keep drinking. You understand fratellino? Do not stop for anything,” Primo warned in a low voice. With a careful hand he plucked the sole flower from the plant and crushed it between his fingers. He began to whisper something in Latin, a chant you couldn’t quite make out and wouldn’t understand even if you could. The flower began to crumble, turning to a pale dust that slowly fell between his fingers and into the cup. He cast one last look at Terzo and smiled. “To your health.”
He downed the contents and dropped to his knees, shoving his arm in Terzo’s face. “Drink.”
“Are you insane?” Terzo hissed.
Primo used the opportunity to jam his wrist against Terzo’s fangs and hold it there. “Drink.”
Whatever argument he wanted to make died in his throat as Primo’s blood spilled into his mouth. He tried to fight him, desperately clawing at his brother’s clothes, but his weakened state was no match for the older vampire. You watched in horror as your lover struggled, his eyes pleading for help. One by one the other vampires began to realize the seriousness of the situation, turning to look as Terzo slammed his feet against the floor in protest.
Whatever you’d been told, whatever parts of the plan you had all tried to understand escaped the room as glass began to shatter. The hunters were no longer trying to get through the blocked door, instead they spilled in from all sides, seeking any entrance to the solarium. The family formed a circle around Primo’s altar, protecting Primo and Terzo from the rapidly approaching violence, but there were more hunters than you could count. As predicted, they had prepared for this on a scale you didn’t think was possible.
“Primo—” You stopped short and gasped as your eyes landed on him. His face was gaunt, skin sagging away from his bones in a way that made him appear almost hollow. He was aging rapidly, withering away as each drop of life passed from his body to Terzo’s. “Oh, fuck.”
The room filled with the sound of hunters readying their weapons, each taking aim at the vampire of their choice.
Terzo finally managed to break his brother’s hold and pushed him away before doubling over. Every muscle in his body flexed and tensed as he tried to crawl away, pushing as hard as he could. With one great heave, a torrent of dark bile spilled from his lips onto the floor as his body rejected the poison. The hunters froze, many with a look of disgust on their faces as the puddle below Terzo grew.
Movement caught the corner of your eye, a blur of white so fast the humans never saw it coming. Shots rang out as the first few dropped, but Primo was too quick. Moving like an unstoppable ferocious predator, he cleared the room of anyone in his path. Secondo and Copia followed his lead, taking out as many hunters as they could while you rushed to Terzo’s side.
He was shaking, soaked in sweat and sick, but he was alive.
“Bello?”
He grinned and reached out to caress your face. “I’m here, bellezza,” he purred as you leaned into his touch. “I’m here. I will always be here.”
“How do you feel?”
His smile grew even wider, almost sinister. “I am starving.”
You smiled back. “Me too.”
Carnage was the only way you could begin to describe what was happening around you. A massacre—no—a battlefield stretched from one end of the room to the other drenched in viscera and severed limbs. Terzo and the others tore through the room, forced to finish a fight that had started centuries ago. The smell of blood and death was clinging to everything, sharpened senses now unable to ignore even the smallest drop. It overwhelmed you, drawing you into the fray as you bit into the first faceless hunter you could reach.
A few feet away, the Countess gave you a thumbs-up with the severed arm of one of her victims.
-x-
The cottage was unnaturally quiet. As quickly as they arrived, the other vampires had disbanded and headed their separate ways, leaving a cluttered and messy house in their wake. You weren’t sure what was going to happen next. You weren’t sure anyone did.
Primo had nearly died trying to save Terzo. That much was clear from the last time anyone had seen him, but his brothers were quick to assure you that Primo could and would take care of himself. For now, you had to let that be enough, but it felt wrong to leave your friend’s home in such a state.
Especially after everything he had done for you.
You went through each room, picking up whatever you could and putting things back together the way Primo normally kept them. There wasn’t much time, but you sensed Terzo understood this was something you needed. He simply kissed your cheek and left to pack up whatever belongings the two of you had accumulated in that little room.
The kitchen wasn’t a complete disaster, but the least you could do was rinse the handful of old coffee mugs resting in the sink. You washed them carefully though the years and dishwasher cycles had been less than kind to any images they once held. You always assumed you would have time to find out what it was about tourist traps that fascinated Primo, but now you weren’t sure how long you’d have to wait.
It wasn’t until you’d put the last mug away that you noticed the letters. Three envelopes had been left on the table, each the same red as Primo’s scuffed slippers. Each addressed carefully in an elaborate script. Terzo. Draculina. Diavolina.
“Hey Terzo?” You called out, a nervous shake to your voice.
He appeared in a blink, bags in hand as he quickly scanned the room for threats.
“Everything’s ok. It’s just…Primo…he left letters.”
“Ah,” Terzo grunted and dropped the suitcases in favor of clutching his chest. “Thank Satanas. I am too full to eat anyone else today. What does the letter say?”
You shrugged and handed him the one with his name before tearing into your own. There wasn’t much, a simple short note expressing a few wishes written in the most impressive penmanship you’d ever seen. “He says not to look for him—”
“Typical.”
“And that he wants to leave the cottage to his friend.”
Terzo made a face. “He has a friend?”
“You missed so much while you were half-dead, huh?” you teased before reading through the letter one more time. “Hey, what’s Villa Majesty?”
“Eh,” he started and sighed heavily, avoiding your eyes. “I don’t think you will like my answer.”
“What does that even mean?”
“It’s a castle…my castle.”
“Your…what? Like a castle, castle?”
“Sì, it is the smaller one.” He offered with a cheeky grin. “But I think you’ll like it there.”
You groaned. “How many houses do you have?”
He shrugged. “You have plenty of time to find out.”
-x-
“Ah, ah, bellezza,” Terzo purred and brushed your hair away from your neck. He placed a kiss on the newly exposed skin before whispering into your ear. “Slowly, my love.”
You resisted the urge to shrug him off and followed his instructions, drawing long, slow pulls from the vampire hunter’s neck. No one ever tasted as good as Terzo, but he was determined to teach you how to make the most of every kill. Though he couldn’t bake to save his life, so far he had been right about fear and desire tasting better than anger.
You suspected he just got off on watching you feed—not that you minded. Your relationship had started covered in blood after all.
The mattress creaked as Terzo pressed even closer, lips returning to your neck. It had only been a month since you arrived at Villa Majesty—a month-long whirlwind honeymoon phase filled with moments like this and various other “vampire lessons” that were thinly veiled excuses for him to get his hands (or lips) on you. But it was easy to let him try to charm you all over again even if he had already won your heart.
“Like this?” you asked, leaning into him as the hunter’s pulse began to stutter. It was pure luck that you’d found this one, or maybe just stupidity on their part. The village below was small and picturesque enough to attract a few tourists, but it was easy enough to spot someone behaving the way you used to. Feeding on humans can with its own set of morality issues, but when it came to anyone who would take down you or your new family without a second thought the decision was much easier.
Terzo hummed against your skin, his hands reaching around you to free the hunter from your grip. You let out a small yelp as he seized you and pulled your further onto the ridiculous bed, your snack and lessons now forgotten. Much like Meliora House, Villa Majesty was also decorated like a fucking wedding cake, but your lover made up for his eccentric taste in furniture by fucking you senseless on any and every surface he could and making post-coital promises about any remodeling the entire place if you wanted.
Honestly, there were worse things than being wrapped in lavender frills and ruffles while being spoiled by an immortal billionaire.
You pawed at his shirt, grabbing fistfuls of the near-transparent fabric between your fingers as you readied yourself to rip it from his body.
“Nooo,” he whined. “Not this one, per favore. I look too good in this.”
“But you look better out of it.”
“Bah! Impossible, bellezza,” he huffed and rose up on his knees to pose. “Look at me!”
“Oh, I am,” you assured him. You pushed yourself up and let your eyes trail over his form slowly, appreciating every inch. It was growing more faint over time, but you reached up and pressed your fingers to the scar on his chest with a small sigh. “Remind me why we even bother to get dressed again?”
It was his turn to sigh. “Omega and Alpha’s rules.”
“Ah, yes the demonic bodyguards who were tired of seeing your cock.”
His eyes narrowed as he leaned forward and took your wrists in his hands. In one quick motion he pinned you to the bed and hovered over you. “No one has ever tired of my cock, bellezza.”
“Hmm, it is quite nice. Is that why you showed it to me the second I walked into your house?”
“If it works, it works.”
“Terzo?”
“Amore?”
“I love you.”
“I love you too,” he said with a grin and bent down to kiss you. “Ugh, ok, ok, you can tear it off me—just this once.”
He released your hands and sat back to allow you better access. He was right he did look good like this, but his cock was tenting in his pants and straining against the fabric and that was a look you preferred to any other. You ran your hands over his chest and began the delicate task of carefully slipping each of the buttons free. He groaned at the pace of your work, breath hitching any time you touched the slightest bit of skin. Teasing Terzo had become a favorite pastime of yours over the last few weeks, watching him barely maintain his composure as you found the balance between your heightened senses and his own. He could easily overpower you if he wanted and some days it was more fun to encourage that, but with your appetite sated all you could think about was having him take you slowly.
“Terzo?” You asked as you pushed open his shirt to press a kiss against his stomach. “Make love to me?”
“Every single day for eternity, amore,” he promised with a sly smile. He shook the gauzy shirt from his shoulders and cast it aside, no longer caring about its price tag or the way he looked in it. He eased you onto your back and pushed your knees apart, leveling his face with your sex and the stupidly expensive, but admittedly sexy panties he’d procured for your new wardrobe.
He hooked his thumbs in the waistband and slowly slid them down your legs before stuffing them in the pocket of his tightening pants. He wasted no time burying his face in your cunt and letting his tongue dance a dizzying rhythm across your sensitive nerves. With a firm grip on his hair, you encouraged and praised him letting the man you loved completely take you apart. He held you down with one hand and used the other to tease and slide his fingers into your entrance, working to coax an orgasm out of you.
As you teetered on the edge of intense pleasure, he bit into the inside of your thigh and moaned loudly. At the same time you let go, your body tensing around his fingers as he drank from you. If it wasn’t for how painfully hard he must have been, you thought he could stay there for the rest of his life. Instead, he pushed your knees to your chest and kicked his pants across the room. He pressed into you slowly, eyes closed as he bit his own lip bloody.
“Bellezza, do you see what you do to me?”
You raised your head and watched your bodies connect, sighing with relief as he filled you. “Fuck,” you whispered, hands already grasping at the sheets. “Do you see what you do to me?”
When he was fully seated inside you, he stilled his hips and bent down to press a kiss to your forehead, letting you keen beneath him. Your revenge came as you nipped his throat and let out a particularly lascivious moan as his blood dripped onto your tongue.
“No fair, bella. Do you want me to make love to you or do you want me to fuck you?”
“Both,” you replied with a grin and raised your hips. “They can be the same thing. Especially when you taste this good.”
“Temptress,” he purred and began a torturous rhythm with his hips.
“Vampire,” you shot back, meeting each thrust.
He growled and bit into your neck, drinking from you as his pace picked up. The vibration of his low moans melted into your own, rattling through your chest as you neared your release. He was so loud, alternating between fucking and drinking and moaning while the bed shifted beneath you. You loved him like this, loved to see him so desperately in love with you that he almost couldn’t stand it. You told him so as he pounded into you with a ferocity that drew sounds from your throat Omega would probably leave a note about later.
Terzo’s fingers found their way back to your center as he pulled off your neck and leaned up to watch you come undone. And you did, your bliss hitting you hard in intense waves that washed over you. No one had ever fucked you like he could; no one had ever loved you as he did. No one else ever would.
He cried out, stilling his hips as he reached his own end and spilled inside you. He gasped for air, burying his face in your neck as he came down. The two of you lay like that for a while, twisted up and consumed by your love for each other.
A soft knock broke the silence of the bedroom. Terzo offered you a lazy smile and rolled off the bed, taking the sheet with him. He tucked it around his waist before opening the door a crack to reveal a slightly nervous Omega.
“Uh…sorry to disturb you…but you told me— “
Terzo threw open the door. “Is it here?”
Omega yelped and covered his eyes with his hand. He shoved a small package toward Terzo with the other hand before running down the hallway while shouting, “boundaries people!”
Terzo just shrugged and closed the door. You rolled onto your stomach to watch him rip into the cardboard box, curious to see what was so important it disturbed such a soft moment. The vampire smiled brightly as he walked toward you.
“You have no idea how hard this was to find, bellezza.”
You furrowed your brow. “What is it?”
He winked and handed you the box. Packed neatly and carefully inside was the same vintage hockey sweater you’d once owned, your favorite team’s colors still pristine and bright. Another smaller velvet box sat in the middle of their emblem. You blinked up at him, but he just shrugged and gestured for you to open that one as well.
The next time your eyes met he was on one knee, still wrapped in the sheet.
“Is this why you didn’t want me to rip your shirt?”
“I was trying to create a moment, bellezza.”
You slid off the bed and walked over to him, gently caressing his face. “I think you proposing naked is still a moment, bello. Better than your silly movies.”
He smiled softly. “Will you marry me, amore mio?”
“Yes,” you replied with a nod, tears filling your eyes. “Of course I will, you idiot.”
Thank you to everyone who waited patiently and cheered me on while I tried to complete this story. Your comments kept me going through some really tough times and I can't thank you enough.
I'd like to thank @ramblingoak for holding my hand for the past YEAR and being just the best fucking friend through everything. Suck Club would not exist without you. Thank you. 💜
here's more stuff from me // my ko-fi info
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yuusishi · 2 years ago
Note
Hola :>
Remember that one request with the s/o who's always on the verge of passing out cuz of constant nightmares? Can I get that again, but w/ Riddle, Lilia, and Jamil?
. . . NIGHTTIME TROUBLES
pairings : Riddle Rosehearts , Lilia Vanrouge , Jamil Viper x gn!reader
genre : fluff
cws/tws : mentions of nightmares (obv.)
a/n : this might be my last req before the hiatus 😥 also see previous part here
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Riddle Rosehearts !!
Before you two got to know each other, whether or not you're a student of Heartslabyul, he will not condone you slouching so hard and falling asleep multiple times in class (neither will Trein 💀).
If he already scolded you for it, he's definitely going to feel a bit guilty after you explained your condition, apologizing immediately after for scolding you before knowing.
As you two get closer and into a relationship with each other, he learns more about your constant nightmares and tries to find things to help.
There's not exactly much he can do, he's not as tech savvy as Idia or as powerful and can do mind-altering magic like Malleus. The most he does is serve you some light tea to calm you down when you wake up suddenly in the middle of the night.
He rubs your back gently as you come down from your panic and then ushers you back to bed once you've calmed down, holding you tightly but not to the point it's suffocating.
Will try to get you excused from class if you only got less than 4 hours of sleep that night since there's no way you'd be able to focus with that. He'd just pass you the notes to copy after class.
Will definitely let the teachers know about your condition (with your consent ofc) to let you get excused, they probably think that you've been cursed or something.
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Lilia Vanrouge !!
Your lover is Lilia? Then there's nothing to fear! He's a father after all.
A father who's lullabies can put a crying baby to sleep instantly.
It's a mixed bag with him to be honest. One day he could be taking care of you when you wake up panicked from one of your nightmares, telling you that it isn't real and that you're okay, and the next he could be asking if you'd like him to sing one of his famous lullabies, sometimes both!
He took care of Silver who's NRC's resident sleepyhead, he doesn't mind taking care of another one! Especially since you're plagued with nightmares and because you're his lover.
At first, maybe giving you a little scare throughout the day might help a tiny bit, but then he saw that slowly it was losing its effects.
Similar to Malleus in the previous part, he doesn't want to use any body-altering spell on you for the sake of your safety. Even if the briar prince's magic is more potent that Lilia's, it never hurts to be careful.
At times where he can't be with you, such as you two not being in the same class, then he has one or two of his little bats accompany you and watch over you in case you pass out somewhere unsafe.
Especially if you have alchemy class that day with potion-making instead of just discussions, you falling asleep in front of a cauldron with a potentially explosive potion isn't exactly ideal, after all!
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Jamil Viper !!
You had to admit, it was a bit nerve-wracking telling Jamil about your condition at first, considering the amount of things he has on his plate already.
But it was impossible for him not to notice when you were always dozing off in class and during lunch breaks to the point it was affecting your health and grades.
He was the one to approach you about it and it basically killed him inside when he realized you weren't telling him about it for his own sake.
BUT! At least he knows about it now, and since it happens during nighttime he can spare some of his time for you.
He’d prepare some tea and light snacks for you if you asked after waking up from one of your nightmares, oftentimes both of you just sit in a comfortable silence as you slowly calm down, the only light source being the lamp that's softly emanating yellow light next to both of you.
Sometimes he asks if you want to tell him about it to get it off your chest, but he never pries if you don't want to talk about it. He doesn't know just how terrible those nightmares you have are, but he'd never belittle you about them because of how much trouble they obviously cause you.
He'd also try to get you excused from classes if you didn't get much sleep that day, he tries to stay with you in the dorm/infirmary for as long as possible before he gets called to go back to class or when some Scarabia students need help.
(Kalim has definitely tried to hire some doctors or even mages to try to help you, thankfully you and Jamil stopped him just in time before your dorm would've become a 2nd clinic).
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maharlika · 1 year ago
Text
tend
a little hasltarion ficlet written for @cielsosinfel for the prompt "halstarion wound tending"
warnings for blood and implied (non-graphic) abuse/torture
--
Halsin wakes in the middle of the night to the smell of blood. He raises his snout into the air, paws shifting restlessly on the soft dirt. The coppery scent lingers for but a moment, but it is enough for his heightened animal senses to snag onto. He pushes his way out of his tent, an elf again, and walks towards Astarion’s humble abode.
The camp is deathly silent, and the night is cool. He finds Astarion sitting just outside of his tent, shirtless and twisting awkwardly in what looks like an attempt to reach a spot on his back. 
Halsin stops a few meters away, hesitating, but then he sees Astarion’s ears twitch in annoyance. 
“I know you’re there. I may not know how to spontaneously turn into an animal, but my hearing is just as keen. Though I suppose a vampire is just another kind of beast.” 
Halsin sighs internally—he’s always so prickly, their vampiric companion. But he soldiers on: “Apologies. I smelled blood and thought—but I can leave you to it.” 
Astarion frowns, his shoulders sagging. 
“Unless you could use the help?”
“One of the goblins may have gotten too close,” Astarion admits. He turns as Halsin draws closer, and shows him the deep gash on his back, raking across the circle of his gruesome scars. The blood around the wound is caked and dark, but it’s still bleeding sluggishly, which is worrying. Why hadn’t Astarion told anyone?
Halsin winces in sympathy. “I have healing potions—”
“No,” Astarion says, rather forcefully. He takes a deep breath, then says, with an air of forced lightness, “It’ll heal on its own, there’s no need to waste a potion.”
“It wouldn’t be a waste,” Halsin says. “And if you don’t want to use a potion, we can wake Shadowheart.”
Astarion shakes his head vehemently, his curls swaying with the motion. “It’s fine.”
“Then how can I help?” Halsin asks instead, feeling his patience start to fray. He’s never been good with people who refuse help—all the time spent playing a healer out of necessity should have rid him of this trait, but alas, it only seems to have compounded it.
Astarion raises a hand, and Halsin sees what he’s been holding on to this whole time: a needle and thread.
“It’ll heal faster if it’s closed,” Astarion says, eyes averted. “I’d do it myself, but it’s in a…tricky spot.”
“Let me get this straight,” Halsin says incredulously, “you’ll not accept a healing potion or a healing spell, but you want me to sew your wound closed, causing you a fair amount more pain. Is that right?”
“I suppose you’re not as stupid as you look,” Astarion says, but the haughty smile that graces his lips is a frail line, easily broken.
“Oak Father preserve me against stubborn vampires,” Halsin says, but he takes the needle. 
Astarion startles when Halsin puts a hand on the cold curve of his shoulder but relaxes when Halsin murmurs an apology. 
He does not stir when the needle slides through skin, through flesh. 
How many times, Halsin wonders, has he done this to himself before? He has seen Astarion sew, hunched protectively over bloody, fraying clothes. The light, easy movement of his hands, the glimmer of the needle, the pull of the thread. How many times has Astarion sat by himself, in the dark, sewing his body back together? 
Halsin is no surgeon, but he’s mended enough broken bodies to make quick work of the wound. Soon, it is neatly laced shut, and he hands the bloody needle back Astarion, who has not uttered a word since they started.
“Astarion?” Halsin asks.
Astarion’s shifts, turning to him, eyes half-lidded. He looks exhausted, his lower lip broken and bleeding, as if he had bitten himself to stifle any sort of noise.
How many Gods-damned times, Halsin thinks again, feeling the surge of some helpless, molten anger rise in his chest.
“Thank you,” Astarion says, looking as if he’s about to keel over any second.
“Would you like to feed?” Halsin asks. 
Astarion blinks, slow. He licks his lips, eyes darting to Halsin’s neck. But eventually, he shakes his head. 
“No,” he says. “No, you’ve done enough. I’ll sleep it off. Thank you.”
And as much as he’d like to push, Halsin knows Astarion has already revealed more than he’s comfortable with, tonight. So he nods, turns around, and walks towards the river, where he washes his hands. Blood meanders through the water, then diffuses into nothing. 
How precious that blood must be to Astarion, who must take it from living creatures to survive. How cruelly it must have been spilled by a sadistic hand. 
When they find Cazador, Halsin thinks, he would very much like to rend his limbs apart until they are unsalvageable, nothing that can be put back together by needle and thread.
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futurehunt · 11 months ago
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My Old Friend, Fire
Azriel x Eris
Against his better wishes, Azriel has found himself growing close to the new Autumn High Lord, Eris Vanserra. The male has dug himself under his skin and now he can't get him out. An invitation to the Autumn Equinox changes the path of Azriel's life for the better.
Read on AO3
AO3 version is updated with editing and spelling corrections!!
Word count: 15,737
Azriel POV
18+
Content warning: Smut- story can be enjoyed fully without reading it!
*no beta, we die in Prythian
This is long, I apologize! It's a lot of feeling, realizing, and longing. Azriel's got all the emotions. Flashbacks are in italics- they all have important details in them that tie in at the end so don't miss 'em!
~~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~
"I would do it all again. I would suffer another five centuries of you loving another, another five centuries of facing my father's cruelty, another five centuries of being hated by all of Prythian just for this- just for you."
~~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~
Read full story below
Azriel shifted his weight from one foot to the other, fidgeting at the pinching sensation caused by the buttons on the wing-flaps of his jacket.
Mor had bought it special for him, special for today.
It was a tight-fitted jacket made of a dark, woodsy green fabric. Along the cuffs and collar were sewn black embellishments that swirled and shaped a pattern so complex that Azriel hated to think of how many hours went into creating it. Intricately carved silver buttons ran up the front and finished at a final clasp around the middle of his neck.
Mor said the jacket suited him, brought out the colors in his eyes. Azriel just felt like a fool.
He'd been on edge all week leading up to tonight. The Autumnal Equinox, Mabon. The Autumn Court's Great Rite.
It was Eris's first Equinox as High Lord of Autumn. He had graciously extended an invite to Rhysand, Feyre and the Inner Circle- his treasured allies he mockingly referred to them as in his letter- and encouraged them to come celebrate his new position and experience a true taste of Autumn.
"Treasured?"
Eris remained silent in response, bow drawn tight. His sharp gaze honed in on a pheasant, trackings its movement through the stalks of wheat. Its emerald neck acting as a beacon for the eye.
Azriel wondered what it would be like to be on the receiving end of that gaze, how it would burn.
On an exhale, Eris let the arrow fly. "Don't talk while I'm aiming, it's rude." He turned towards Azriel, not bothering to spare a glance to see if his arrow met its mark. Eris released a shrill whistle and his hounds took off, cutting through the stalks to their target.
"Treasured?" Azriel pressed again.
"I used my thesaurus for that one." Eris quipped back.
Azriel squinted his eyes at the High Lord. "You like being disliked, don't you. You're a masochist."
"You like me".
"I tolerate you." There was a chill in the wind that blew towards them across the field. It dusted red across Eris's pale cheeks, the fire in his blood seemingly not fighting the bite of the cold. "Here are the reports we have on Koschei. He's getting desperate."
Eris reached out for the thin file from Azriel, the full might of the hunter's gaze finally locked onto him. It burned right through him, just as Azriel had suspected. Burned right through to the icy center of him.
Rhysand and Feyre decided they would not attend. While they wanted to put on a good show for diplomacy, they deemed it unnecessary for the High Lord and High Lady to make an appearance. And as it is with them, where one goes so does the other. In their stead, Azriel, Mor, Cassian, and Nesta would be attending as representatives of the Night Court. Azriel was pretty sure Cassian and Nesta only decided to tag along because they wanted to fuck in the woods.
Azriel chuckled to himself as he remembered the conversation in which Cassian crudely explained to Nesta the erotic nature of Great Rite celebrations after nightfall. Nesta had known the basics, brief snippets of information from what Feyre had deigned to share with her about Calanmai, Spring Court's Great Rite, but wasn't aware the seasonal courts all had their own version. Nesta was all too eager to attend after learning everything.
Mor was attending because. . . he wasn't entirely sure. Azriel knew Mor had made great strides in accepting Eris as an ally of the court, knew that she had traveled the path of forgiveness with him and the two were on amicable terms. Amicable, nothing more. Eris certainly did not make it easy, he was still an asshole. Gods was he an asshole.
But Azriel also knew she was still haunted by the past. Saw it in the glaze in her deep brown eyes every time Keir threw barbed comments her way. Azriel gathered that this visit tonight would serve as one of Mor's final steps in conquering the demons of her past. Regardless, she seemed all too willing to attend.
It was part of the reason Azriel agreed to join the visit today- why Rhysand pulled him aside and adamantly requested he tag along. Though Rhysand's request left little room for disagreement.
He wanted Azriel there to keep an eye on Mor. Rhysand knew all too well how suffocating the horrors of your past could be. Azriel remembers vividly the nights, not too long ago, when dark power filled with shadows and stars would burst through his brother's window as he drowned under the weight of everything that haunted him.
.…........................
That's how Azriel found himself here, in the ornately decorated receiving room of the River House, the base of his wings getting pinched to Hel by the jacket Mor bought him for Mabon.
He's the first to arrive as usual.
It was barely past three in the afternoon but the sun, beaming in through the room's westerly windows, was already on a quick descent. His shadows dodged the rays and dissipated whenever they come in contact.
Azriel thumbed the plum, silk curtains that draped the large picture window whose frame he leaned on. Not that he would ever utter the thought out loud but he found the interior of his brother's home a bit gaudy. Fit for a High Lord, no doubt, but it felt impersonal.
Eris's manor smelled of sandalwood and cinnamon. Woodsy and sweet. The scent stuck inside of Azriel's nose, invading his senses. It invoked a nostalgia for an experience he had yet to live.
"The magic in Spring is growing weak- I can feel it in the land at our shared border. We need to get Tamlin back on track," Eris spoke without preamble. He stood opposite Azriel, a smoke gray granite countertop separating them. The texture of the stone rippled and eddied, it felt like the scars on his hands.
"Tea?"
Azriel nodded in assent and looked around the kitchen in which they stood. Dark brown wood laid the foundation of the room, it blended well with the warm colors of the furnishing.
"You made yourself right at home. Was your father's body even cold before you started moving in?" The question was probably too crude, even for Azriel.
Yesterday marked a month since the long awaited death of Beron Vanserra finally came to fruition.
Eris merely smirked over at him, taking his crass question in stride as he poured the second cup of tea. His eyes traced over every inch of Azriel's face before he responded, "You wound me, brute. This manor hasn't been inhabited since my grandfather. My father felt it too exposed and only resided in an apartment deep within the Forest House."
Azriel snorted. His only response. He continued to take in the room.
In the corner of the kitchen was a nook that housed a dining area encased by a dome of windows on one half. It gave the illusion that you were dining out in the jeweled canopy of the woods.
His attention caught on the dining chairs that surrounded the table.
They were all shaped to fit wings.
Growing weary of the solitude, Azriel decided to set out to track down Rhys, Feyre, and Nyx in the massive house when the carved wood door at the home's entrance swung open. From his spot within the receiving room, Azriel watched Mor strut in.
"I knew that color would look great on you," She tittered, looking him up and down, "you really ought to let me buy you more for your wardrobe."
Azriel's face pinched - answer enough to her demand.
"A shame" she bemoaned, throwing herself on to one of the room's stiff cobalt couches. "Where's Cass and his Lady Death? We should be off soon."
"Don't call her that." Azriel chastised, not having an answer for the first part of her question.
Mor just shot him a look, rolling her eyes. It's been a year and a half since Nesta sacrificed her Cauldron-stolen power for the life of her sister and nephew, yet Mor still clung to that infernal nickname. For Mor it's all in good fun, but Azriel never fails to catch the haunted look that ghosts Nesta's face whenever the moniker is used in her presence.
As if on cue, he heard the bustle of Cassian and Nesta coming in through the home's rear entrance. No doubt they landed on the back lawn after flying down from the House of Wind. Cass still likes to give Nesta a good fright by coming in hot for his landings, the back lawn providing a perfect landing zone for him.
Confirming his suspicions, Nesta's face is tinged with green as she rounded the corner and came in sight of Azriel and Mor.
"Cassian, they're in here," she called over her shoulder. Her hair, uncharacteristically, is worn loose today, with a tight braid running down the center of her head segregating both halves of her hair. Her mauve, linen dress was modest in the length of its hem and sleeves but clung to her frame in a way that suggested excellent tailoring. As she twisted to shout to his brother, Azriel noted the deep scoop of the dress's back.
"You look...very good today, Nesta." Azriel said to her as she twisted back around and entered the receiving room. Not that she didn't usually, though she now wore her Valkyrie leathers more often than not.
Mor interjected from the couch, "You didn't say anything to me! I even complimented your jacket".
"Your ego doesn't need anymore stroking, dear sister." Cassian quipped sarcastically, picking up the conversation without pause as he too rounded the corner and entered the room. "And, my even dearer mate is upset with me so she told me she'll be leaving me tonight for our beloved- her words not mine- High Lord of Autumn".
Azriel hummed his acknowledgment, not wanting to voice anything that may incidentally draw himself into the middle of their squabble.
Eris would probably think she looked drab in the linen dress.
"Linen is the fabric of the working class, Azriel," Eris drawled, a mischievous grin lifting the right corner of his mouth.
Even from his position on the leather tufted couch on the opposite end of the room, Azriel could see the mirth glimmering in Eris's eyes from where he sat behind his grand mahogany desk. Azriel twisted away from the sight to look back into the depths of the crackling fireplace that warmed the High Lord's office.
"You're just a snob", he shot at Eris, not bothering to turn around again.
He heard him snort. "Linen is a lightweight, breathable, porous fabric. It is designed to be worn by those working the fields. It's not supposed to be fashionable- I'd look like a fool wearing linen to a dinner with my court representatives. Apologies for knowing the intricacies of garments and how they relate to socio-economic class."
Azriel couldn't help himself. Throwing an arm across the back of the couch he twisted to look back at Eris again.
"Lightweight, breathable, porous fabric? You're a snob and an ass." He secretly delighted in the look of glee that flashed across Eris's face at the insult. "Why even ask for my opinion then? If your own was so decisive."
"I like to hear what you think." Nothing but truth burned in the amber flames of Eris's eyes.
"Thank you, Azriel." Nesta shot sharply at him. She lowered herself gracefully onto the couch opposite of Mor. Not allowing space on either side of her for Cassian and his wings, leaving him to settle in standing next to Azriel.
He felt a nudge on his shoulder and looked over at his brother who leaned in and said, "Nice jacket, Az. You look like a proper little prince of Autumn in it".
Azriel scoffed, taking a wide step away from his brother before quickly twisting his body to punch Cassian in the arm in retribution for his gibe.
Nesta guffawed from where she perched on the couch. Composing herself, she remarked, "At least he made an effort! You look like you're ready for a visit to Windhaven."
It was true. Cassian donned a standard set of his leathers, albeit cleaner and newer than his usual ones.
"Whatever. I'm not making an effort for the prick," Cassian shot, impudence lacing his tone. "It's an Equinox celebration that the entire court is invited to, at most we'll see him to shake his hand before he moves on to others he deems more worthy of his time."
He wasn't wrong. Like Calanmai in Spring, Grianstad in Winter, or Litha in Summer, denizens of Autumn flooded to their court's seat during Mabon to celebrate the equinox and participate in the Great Rite. It's a tradition, Azriel heard, that even Beron nurtured and encouraged. After all, a fruitful turnout for a Great Rite produces a wealth of magic for the court. Azriel is sure that another strong motivator for Beron's patronage of the event were the swaths of young fae females that showed up clambering for his attention, hoping the magic of the Rite would choose them for their High Lord. Even the deep-seated fear and corruption that Beron plagued the land with wasn't enough to dim the honor of being selected by whatever powers governed the Rite.
This year, for the first time, it would be Eris's turn to lead the Great Rite. He would pair off with a lady and together they would fuel enough magic to inundate the land until the next Mabon. The thought settled like glass in Azriel's stomach.
"Even then," Cassian continued "he'll likely only deign to be touched by you, Nesta. The rest of us are too beneath him for an actual handshake."
"Speak for yourself, Cassian," Mor chimed in indignantly.
Nesta hummed in agreement and added, "He'd probably give Azriel a handshake. After all, he's the closest with Eris out of any of us at this point."
"We are not close," Azriel growled at her defensively.
He immediately regretted his tone when he saw the trepidation in her eyes. He felt like his father.
"Is your father still alive?" curiosity clouded Eris's face from across the chessboard between them.
Azriel's eyes flickered up to him for a moment to take in his demeanor before refocusing on the board as he took one of Eris's black marble bishops with his gleaming, white knight.
"How is that a pertinent question?"
"How is playing chess pertinent," Eris countered.
"As the official liaison between the Night and Autumn court, it's my duty to make sure our allies are properly schooled in all forms of strategy," Azriel arrogantly replied. He bit the inside of his cheek to keep his grin from spreading across his face. After six months of working with Eris as liaison between their two courts, he had come to enjoy the haughty banter the pair fell into in each other's presence.
"Azriel," Eris dead-panned.
Azriel would never admit to the shiver that ran through him at the sound of his name in Eris's mouth. Shame washed over him at the mere acknowledgement of the sensation.
"He's dead," he at last replied to Eris, dryly.
"He gave you those burns?"
Azriel only shook his head.
"You're ashamed of them." An observation, not a question from the High Lord.
Azriel settled his face into a sheet of neutrality. His centuries-old mental barriers slamming into place as the topic of conversation entered an area he had no interest in going.
Playing his turn, Azriel hoped to end the game quickly now. He shouldn't have stayed this long anyway, was only there to assess the durability of the security wards around Forest House as a courtesy to Eris.
Quiet blanketed them as the pair finished up their game. Azriel refused to raise his eyes to look at Eris.
"Beron would have healers erase all the scars he etched on me. For five centuries."
"I don't care, Eris." Cruel words that did not reflect the truth. He did care- deep down in a pocket of his soul that he never let see the light of day- he cared about what Eris had to say.
Azriel still refused to raise his gaze up to the High Lord sitting across from him.
"He would erase everything he did to me. No proof that I lived. No proof that I suffered. No proof that I survived. All my torment is trapped inside my head with no evidence that it happened, no outlet for escape... I wish he had left them... but that was probably the point of healing them in the first place."
Eris's declaration cut deep through him, burning through the layers of his defenses in a rage of fire.
He stayed for another round of chess.
Azriel ran a scarred hand down his face, mortification riding through him in waves.
"I'm sorry, Nesta, I didn't mean to snap."
Nesta shook off his words with ease. "I only mean to say, you literally are closest with him," she pressed on "the rest of us haven't even seen him since his crowning ceremony eleven months ago. You're the only one meeting with him anymore."
Of course. He was such an idiot. Of course that's what she meant.
Cassian came up behind him, clamped his hands on his shoulders, and jostled him jovially. His brother's voice boomed behind me, "Don't worry, Az, we know you still hate the lordling as much as ever. We'd never dare suggest otherwise." Azriel could've sworn he heard an undercurrent of sarcasm lacing his brother's tone.
But he didn't hate Eris. Didn't hate him at all. Dreaded the looks on his family's faces when they realized just how much he didn't hate Eris Vanserra anymore.
That was the other part of the reason he agreed to join the visit today. For the past eleven months he'd been working as the Night Court's liaison to Autumn, having taken it over from Cassian, he's found himself... inexplicably drawn to the High Lord. Perhaps in the absence of conflict, Azriel was subconsciously poking around for danger and adrenaline. Eris made his blood boil and he was addicted to it. Not that he would ever admit that out loud.
Mor was looking at him with an expression he couldn't decipher.
"We should go." Was all he said to the room.
The females got up from their respective places on the couches and together they all trundled through the receiving room out into foyer.
"Guess Rhys and Feyre don't want to see us off," Mor observed.
"Ten gold marks they're both dead asleep upstairs. Nuala told us that Nyx has started climbing out of his crib at night and that Rhys and Feyre can't leave him unattended for even a second," Cassian added, laughing.
The four of them headed out to the front courtyard, not wanting to check and risk waking the parents up. They cut across to a point that would put them outside the wards encasing the River House.
Nesta grabbed Cassian's hand. Feyre, in her free time, had been teaching Nesta how to winnow. The eldest sister became adept at it rather quickly and could even carry Cassian along with her over great distances.
Together, they winnowed away to the Autumn Court.
....................
A thrum of voices chattering around him was the first sensation Azriel perceived as his shadows dissipated and left him standing in an area of woods on the outskirts of the Forest House.
The next sensation to follow was an aroma of smoked meat, spun sugar, and baked pastries.
Surrounding him, and stretching out as far as he could see, were merchant stands and food stalls. There seemed to be no coordination with how the stalls were organized. They were dotted randomly throughout the woods, the sea of stands interspersed with giant oak trees that comprised this section of the forest.
Waves of people bustled around him, side-stepping the obstacle of his body in order to reach their next destination.
He snapped his wings tight into him to avoid any unwanted contact.
Azriel looked over the heads of the fae surrounding him to try and locate Mor, Nesta, and Cassian. There had to be thousands here. His eyesight found no end to the mass of people.
At last, he spotted the three of them already together a few hundred paces away, ogling the vendors. He made his way over and heard the last snatch of what Mor was saying.
"- seen these only in Montesere." Her voice was filled with awe.
They were huddled around a table laden with glazed pottery. Plates, mugs, and bowls all painted with rich, vibrant jewel tones.
"Eris reached out to a few territories on the continent to invite local artisans to come sell their wares at this year's Mabon," Azriel confirmed, sidling up beside Mor. "With Calanmai being... not what it used to...with everything going on with Tamlin...Eris is trying to pick up some of the slack."
Mor's face twisted in surprise at his words.
"And I think he's trying to set a good precedent. After all, Beron only allowed upper-class and high fae craftsmen to set up booths here and apparently he even took a cut of their sales," Azriel scoffed out. "Eris didn't limit who could participate this year. He told me a lot of local lesser fae farmers are coming and selling excess crop from the growing season that just concluded- I think he might've gone a bit overboard with how many he's permitted though."
Mor nodded silently, smirking in amusement at him.
Realizing how much he'd just prattled on about Eris and his booths, Azriel felt his face heat up.
He focused his attention of the pottery in front of him, suddenly very interested in inspecting the intricacy of the handiwork.
Azriel pointedly avoided Nesta's stare that was burning a hole through his head. He had easily just proved wrong his statement earlier about how close him and the High Lord had become.
"So...is that where Eris lives?" Nesta's attention had shifted away from him and she was turned around, pointing to the Forest House in the distance. It's oppressive size seemed to have stunned her. Azriel knew from experience that it took around three hours to get from one side to the other, having done the entire walk with Eris a few months ago.
Azriel shook his head, refusing to foolishly prattle on again and reveal precisely how entrenched in Eris's life he really was.
"From what Azriel's told me, he now lives in the High Lord's manor. It has sat vacant since his grandfather. I think it's somewhere on the other side of the Forest House," Mor fills in for him. "Though from the crowd that's gathered around the south entrance, I'm assuming Eris is likely over there now."
Indeed, there was a massive congregation of people milling around the wide, stone stairs that led up to the grand south entrance of the Forest House. The massive wooden doors at the top landing were thrown open. Though due to the row of guards flanking the stairs and entryway doors, Azriel couldn't make out if Eris was up there.
It hit him then.
The hundreds of fae gathered around the steps, the thousands more that wandered through the festival, the countless guards and sentries patrolling the area- they were all here for Eris. Eris Vanserra, the bane of Azriel's immortal existence, the High Lord of Autumn. Eris was a High Lord now; no longer a pestering lordling with dreams brighter than his own damn hair.
Azriel knew this, of course, had been working one-on-one with Eris for months to help ease the transition into his new role. But being here, it all felt more real.
The Eris he played chess with last week in the study of his manor home while they drank out of a shared bottle of wine was the same High Lord who now ruled the court he stood in and drew the crowd of thousands surrounding him. The same High Lord who seemed to already have the admiration and respect of many, given the throng waiting to greet him.
The crowd awaiting Eris seemed to be largely comprised of females, no doubt hoping to be the lucky maiden selected to help him complete the Great Rite that began after sundown.
Azriel's shadows thrashed around him at the thought.
"Well, let's go get the greetings over with. One of Eris's weasly guards probably already informed him of our arrival," Mor said bluntly, stepping away from the table of pottery.
Azriel steeled himself with a breath and dropped into step next to her as the four of them weaved their way through the festival-goers and headed for the south entrance steps.
He was thankful for the push of the crowd that slowed their journey down.
A wave of anxiety flooded through Azriel, causing his stomach to clench. His lungs wouldn't expand to take a full breath and it was making his surroundings spin. He felt like he was standing on the precipice of a battle that he was guaranteed to lose.
Why was he nervous?
Azriel willed his centuries of training to take over and took a deep breath to release the tension that seized him.
He pulled at the high-neck collar of his jacket, hoping to loosen it. It felt like a leash growing tighter with every step he took towards the Forest House.
Eris was going to mock the jacket, he was sure of it. He was going to call Azriel 'a want-to-be Autumn aristocrat fool', he never should have let Mor dress him in this.
He just hated seeing Eris. Hated the male's all-knowing gaze that could tear through Azriel's defenses without a thought. Mor, Cassian, and Nesta were going to see it. They were going to see the way Eris could pick him apart and expose a layer of Azriel he never showed. They were going to witness first-hand just how much the Autumn High Lord affected him.
As they reached the rear of the crowd huddled around the bottom of the staircase, Azriel's eyes darted around the top trying to spot the High Lord.
He couldn't see him. Where was he? Was something wrong?
And as much as he was dreading speaking to the male, his absence made Azriel's stomach drop even further.
His mind whirled with unexplainable anxiety.
He needed the Cauldron-damned crowd to get out of his way so he could get up there and see if something was wrong.
Fae tended to retreat willingly away from Azriel. His oppressive height, writhing shadows, and intimidating wingspan conveyed what he usually didn't need words for. It seemed the prospect of catching sight of the new Autumn High Lord distracted the fae in front of him enough that none marked his presence behind them.
"Move," Azriel's deep, menacing voice broke through the thrum of sound. He felt no inclination to add pleasantries to his request.
As the fae closest heard him, they turned to look at the source of the sound and scrambled back at the sight of him.
With ease, Azriel marched through the pathway that opened for him and led Mor, Nesta, and Cassian to the stairs.
Five flights made up the grand entrance and by the second landing Azriel still couldn't catch sight of Eris.
Desperation quickened his pace.
At last he reached the third landing, coming into view of the palatial wooden doors of the Forest House thrown open at the top. And there he was.
Eris.
A full breath of air whooshed into Azriel's lungs as he finally gazed upon the High Lord.
Eris's beauty was undeniable. It was almost laughable the way he made everyone around him look simple. A God stood amongst fae-kind.
In the afternoon sun, Eris's hair glowed like living flames; the ends of those fiery locks pushed back behind his pointed ears. Those very ears were adorned with a handful of small golden hoops in the upper cartilage, drawing Azriel's eye to trace along their curve.
His beautiful, wicked face was twisted into a wry grin in reaction to whomever he was speaking to. Azriel couldn't tear his eyes away from the High Lord to check. With his unmarred porcelain skin, Eris appeared to have been carved from marble.
Azriel's eyes continued their journey down the slope of Eris's neck, taking his time to trace its length. He was surprised Eris couldn't feel his gaze burning into him.
The male wore a billowing white silk shirt whose neck hung open to reveal a hint of the muscled chest that lay underneath. He wondered what more lay unexposed. The shirt was tucked into a pair of dark, well-tailored pants- very well-tailored pants.
On top of his ensemble, Eris donned a cloak whose hemmed reached to the bottom of his boots. The garment was a rich, velvety maroon, with gold details running down the sides of the opening.
Perfectly put together as always. Eris was skilled at wielding clothes like a weapon, he always knew how to arm himself properly for the occasion. And today he looked so damn regal and powerful, commanding the attention of everyone around him.
As if finally registering the weight of his observation, Eris turned and caught sight of Azriel and the others.
A wide smile broke across Eris's face.
Azriel's head whipped around to look behind himself. Who the hell was Eris smiling at? Mor? Nesta? Had someone else followed them up the stairs?
Cassian and the two females had come to a stop behind Azriel, no longer ascending the stairs.
When had he stopped walking?
Azriel looked back and the smile that had cut across Eris's face was gone. The male was now biting his lower lip, keeping it still.
Cassian gave him a push from behind before sliding around Azriel to take the lead with Nesta.
"Let's go you fool," his brother said to him gruffly.
The shove and command from his brother broke Azriel out of his reverie. It must be the magic of Mabon that entranced Azriel when he was regarding Eris. The magic flows most acutely through the High Lord after all. Azriel had become as spell bound as the hoard of fae below him.
Azriel resumed his climb, drawing nearer and nearer to Eris.
As Cassian reached the final landing ahead of him and approached Eris, Azriel heard the High Lord say in greeting, "Well, if it isn't my favorite court. Behind the four others. I'll be generous and put Tamlin at the bottom of my ranking."
Still an asshole. A beautiful asshole.
"You're look very pretty today. I like what that jacket does for your eyes." Azriel chuckled at his brother's words. Cassian had learned well how to get under Eris's skin.
Eris sneered at him, not responding, before turning his gaze to Nesta. His expression lightened as he looked to her. "Nesta, you do yourself no favors with the company you keep."
To Azriel's surprise, Cassian chuckled good-naturedly at the High Lord's remark.
"It's lovely to see you again, Eris." replied Nesta, politely. "I think you might be right. I find myself occasionally regretting my refusal of your proposal."
Eris nodded his head in the mockery of a bow before replying sarcastically, "At your earliest convenience Lady Archeron, I will eagerly make you my bride." His eyes glittered with derision.
Nesta chuckled, curtseying before Eris, before grabbing Cassian's hand and pulling him out of the way.
Eris shifted his attention to Mor. "Morrigan, I must say I did not anticipate your appearance today."
"Eris," Mor nodded in greeting. "It's been a while since my last visit."
Visit is not how Azriel would categorize it.
She continued, "I wanted to reacquaint myself with the court and I heard," her eyes shot to Azriel, "that this event was not to be missed."
Azriel's face twisted. He said no such thing.
"Hmm," Eris hummed as his gaze quickly darted to Azriel, "Well I'm happy you could attend. I hope everything is up to your standards."
Perfectly cordial, the two of them. They had come such a long way.
Mor gave no reply before bowing out of the way.
She turned to Azriel, squeezed his arm and said quietly, "We'll wait for you at the bottom of the steps."
Why? He didn't voice the question aloud.
He turned to face Eris who was glaring pointedly at the spot on Azriel's arm that Mor just touched.
Azriel stood in silence, waiting. After a moment, Eris's stare rose to his.
"Azriel."
"Eris."
More silence.
Eris's gaze darted down Azriel's frame, taking him in.
With surprise lacing his tone, the High Lord said, "Your jacket... I like it."
Azriel's brows shot up his face.
"The color. It suits you. I don't think I've ever seen you in something other than black. I appreciate that you made an effort with my court's style," Eris added on. Genuine sincerity shone in his face.
Azriel merely nodded in thanks.
A slight weight lifted off of Azriel's chest at the High Lord's words. Why did he give a damn what Eris thought about his clothing? It was humiliating. Why did he have this irritating need to impress him, to get his approval?
Azriel wanted to run away from the knowing glint in Eris's eye, the ghost of the smirk that danced on his lips, like he knew exactly the effect his comments would have on Azriel.
Planning to do just that, Azriel spun on his heels angling to catch up with the rest of his companions who already reached the bottom of the staircase.
"Wait." Eris's voice stopped Azriel in his descent.
The Illyrian turned to look up at the High Lord who now descended the few steps Azriel was able to make.
Eris came to a stop on the same stair as Azriel. They were eye level. How had Azriel never realized the two of them were the same height? Perhaps it was due to Eris's new commanding presence, it was now impossible not to be aware of every detail about the High Lord. Azriel tried desperately to tamp down the flush in his cheeks.
Eris continued on, cool confidence lacing his tone, "I'm heading out to tour the vendors, would you join me?"
A lifetime of stoicism is the only thing that kept Azriel from reacting visibly.
There was a crowd of people waiting to meet the High Lord. More dignitaries were set to arrive, surely Eris had to wait to greet them.
But Eris was looking at him with such an earnest expression that Azriel couldn't find it in himself to care about what duties of his might take precedence.
"Is that... a request or a command, High Lord?" Azriel responded after a moment, keeping his features neutral.
Eris's eyes narrowed slightly.
"A command. I don't want you off on your own scaring away all my visitors"
Laughter broke from Azriel's mouth before he could catch it.
The corner of Eris's mouth quirked up in satisfaction.
That wouldn't do.
"No, thank you." That should humble the High Lord. Azriel took off down the flight of steps at a much quicker pace this time.
Silence. And then, "No?!" Eris called after him.
The smack of boots against stone rang out as Azriel heard Eris follow him.
Azriel made it down two flights, nearly halfway to the bottom, before Eris caught up. He could see Mor, Cassian, and Nesta looking up at them from below.
Eris grabbed his arm. His cheeks were flushed and eyes a bit wild as he demanded, "You really won't come with me?"
His arm tingled under the hand grasping it.
"Ask nicely."
Eris huffed out an exasperated laugh.
"-Azriel!" That was Mor's voice this time from two flights below.
He could see Eris's face bunch up in frustration. The grip on his forearm tightened infinitesimally.
She called up at him, "I promised Emerie I'd get her something so I'm going to go look around. Alright?"
Azriel nodded in understanding. It was then that he realized Nesta and Cassian had already peeled away and were reentering the thick bustle of the festival.
At his assent, Mor followed after them.
His attention returned to Eris.
"Azriel. Would you please join me?"
He was quiet for a moment, before, "Yes... what about them?" He nodded at the throng waiting for Eris.
The hand on him gripped hard and then Eris was winnowing them in a spark of heat and light.
..........................
They reappeared on the outskirts of the Forest House's northern side. A few hours walk from their last location.
The festival stands and crowds were sparser here. But in a small field of grass close to the northern entrance of the estate, a group of children were playing. Squeals of delight rang in Azriel's ear as the children ran around, tossing a ball between themselves. His shadows jumped at the shrill noises, darting out as if they'd investigate.
A pleasant, carefree atmosphere hung in the air.
"It's so... different here now," Azriel said carefully.
So different from Beron.
Eris hummed quietly in confirmation at Azriel's words. He wistfully watched the children play. "Rhysand once advised me that change is slow in our world and to prepare myself accordingly. I've personally found that it's only slow if you don't care to try hard enough."
Azriel's eyes narrowed at the slight jab to his brother.
Eris pulled his attention from the children and dropped his hand from where it still wrapped around Azriel's forearm. Azriel hadn't registered it was there but the cold it's absence left in its wake sent a shudder down his spine.
Leaves crunched under the heels of their boots as the pair walked leisurely into the festival.
"You think you care more than Rhys? Care more about your court?" The comment rubbed Azriel the wrong way, he couldn't let it go.
"I think Rhysand cares an awful lot about Velaris. I know he sacrificed greatly to keep them safe from Amarantha. But a High Lord's duty is to the well-being of everyone in his court, not just those he favors."
Azriel stopped in his tracks. "Don't speak about it as if you have any idea."
"Don't I?" Eris said, stopping with him. His brow quirked up on his face. "Aren't I one of the few that can now judge him?"
"You know nothing of the Night Court. Since when were you an advocate for the rights of Illyrians?"
"It's not the Illyrians about which I'm concerned."
Azriel's mouth dropped slightly, "The Court of Nightmares? You can't be serious. Keir has gotten to you."
Eris whooshed out a frustrated breath. "Keir is a pest. But he's not the only one that lives there. You forget that I have experience at Hewn City, not only now, but from before."
Rhys had snuck Cassian and Azriel into Hewn City earlier that morning. It was the first time Azriel had been anywhere but the steppes of Illyria.
His shadows writhed over his wings, something in the bowels of the mountain called to them.
The three of them stood a few hundred paces from the entrance to the Court of Nightmare's receiving hall.
She was in there. Mor.
She was in there with Keir getting introduced to her new captors, the Vanserras.
It was the reason for Rhys, Cassian, and Azriel's visit today. Mor would never admit it, that beautiful, proud female, but Azriel knew she was terrified for the encounter. He had practically begged on his knees for Rhys to take them there so they could keep an eye on her.
The grand obsidian doors that kept Mor from view creaked open suddenly, startlingly the three males.
They stood straight, imbuing confidence into their features. Despite being barely of age, the three of them refused to cower under the presence of Keir and the Autum High Lord.
Beron Vanserra exited first, Keir keeping at heels like an overexcited dog. Pathetic.
A few paces behind was Mor, eyes blazing as she kept her stare straight forward. And there he was.
Eris.
His cruel, cold beauty matched his reputation.
The second Azriel laid eyes on him, he felt a searing hatred for the male tear through his chest.
Azriel had hated before; hated his father, his half-brothers, the camp lords that shunned him. That hatred had been iced-cold, settling inside him like a stone. It followed him everywhere and pushed him to work harder, fight harder.
What he felt now, staring at the Autumn male before him, was a passion so bright it ached deep inside him. It set his blood on fire.
As if sensing Azriel's glare, the princeling's eyes slid over to him. Eris's mouth parted slightly, eyes widening, as he looked at him. The shadows often taken people by surprise.
Azriel sneered at him before tearing his eyes away to look at Mor. As she passed Azriel, she gave him a reassuring nod. She was alright.
He shot her a gentle smile in return.
He kept his attention on her as she walked away but had the odd sensation of another stare burning into him.
"I don't think you went there more than once," Azriel scoffed.
"I was enough."
"Enough for what?" Azriel grew exasperated.
"Enough to see that Mor was not the only young female desperate to escape that prison. She was just the only one that had a lifeline out of there. Rhysand condemns everyone in there for the crimes of their ancestors. For the crimes of Keir and his ilk. I know monsters lurk in every shadow corner of that gods-forsaken place but it's Rhysand's responsibility to not abandon those that need help. Who want something better."
That immediately shut Azriel up. He looked to Eris's face and saw a passionate fury on it, saw a look of someone who related intimately to about that which they spoke.
"Perhaps you're right." Damning words from Azriel's mouth. But today was not the day to delve into it, to process just how much a part Azriel played in keeping those people trapped within the confines of the Court of Nightmares.
A slight burst of guilt churned his stomach.
Eris observed him with an understanding he didn't deserve.
"Anyway," Eris shifted the topic onwards, "I am hungry." He made a show of looking around the booths around them as they walked. "What interests you?"
Azriel shrugged noncommittally. "Whatever doesn't have a line."
"Why would I want the food that doesn't have a line. Don't you think that would suggest it's not worth eating."
Azriel rolled his eyes and said, "Nothing can be that bad. Food is food."
"Very well. But if it is bad you still need to eat it all." Eris said and took off towards a food stand that stood patron-less.
As the two of them approached, the man standing behind the stand's counter eye's widened. A High Lord and an Illyrian shadowsinger marching towards you was likely an intimidating sight.
A basin of cooking oil bubbled away behind the stall, lit by a large fire kindled underneath. On a small table next to it two trays were filled; one with a rough flour mixture and one with beaten, uncooked eggs. A container full of wooden skewers sat next to it. On the ground, off to the side was an ice-box whose lid was firmly shut.
"My lord!" The stall's operator rose from his stool and gave Eris a sweeping bow.
He then merely jerked his head at Azriel, saying nothing. A look of contempt flashed across Eris's face at that.
Eris shook the look off his face and smiled stiltedly in greeting to the vendor. "We are looking for food, sir. What are you making here today?"
"Amazing," the vendor exclaimed, "I am the premier maker of fried Autumn frogs!"
Azriel watched Eris's brows shoot up his forehead.
That explained the lack of line.
Now that Azriel looked, he saw a crudely painted wooden sign depicting a frog skewered onto a stick. He should've been paying better attention on their approach.
"Wonderful." Even centuries of courtier skills couldn't stop the trepidation from slipping into Eris's voice.
"We-," Eris darted his eyes over to Azriel and he could see a dark humor glittering on the High Lord's face, "We will take three, please, one for me and two for my friend. He's very hungry."
Azriel stomped on the male's foot as soon as the vendor turned to start preparing their order.
"Food is food," the High Lord whispered at him, wincing in pain at his foot.
"I'm not even hungry," the Illyrian hissed back.
"Too bad, you are now." The High Lord chuckled at his own antics.
They stood there waiting for their food. Azriel scowled as he watched the frogs get dipped in the batter and then dunked into bubbling oil.
He was deeply regretting his earlier statement.
Eris slid a few silver marks onto the stall's table as Azriel grabbed two of the skewers from the vendor. He'd let Eris grab his own.
The pair strolled away, eyeing the food in their hands.
Azriel gulped before braving a small bite from the fried meat. He swallowed roughly.
"So?" Eris questioned.
Azriel contemplated for a moment before replying, "It's... not that bad." He went in for a second bite.
Following his approval, Eris raised his own skewer to his mouth and took a sizable bite.
The High Lord's face dropped at the taste that met him. His stare burned through Azriel with fury as he slowly chewed and swallowed the large bite that was in his mouth.
Azriel threw his head back roaring with laughter.
Eris chucked the food into a nearby trash bin, "That. was. disgusting," he seethed. "Why did you say it was good."
"You deserved it you ass." Azriel threw his skewers into the bin as well.
"It was sour!?"
Azriel continued to laugh.
Eris's eyes softened imperceptibly as he looked down at Azriel's smile. It sent a jolt through Azriel's system.
The two of them wandered on, appetite gone.
They stopped at many stalls along their walk. Eris thumbed through heavy, fur garments on display from a Winter Court seamstress. Azriel weighed and handled Raskian throwing knives brought from a merchant on the continent. The pair chuckled at a table that displayed men's silk undershorts, saying they were going to send a collection to Helion. Eris grimaced when Azriel reminded him his mother would be on the receiving end of the silk shorts, the male's amusement dissipated immediately. Azriel had to drag Eris away from buying a dozen handmade leather collars for his hounds. Eris did end up buying a thin silver chain bracelet from a local Autumn crasftwoman. It was made from a metal found only in this court, Eris told him, and the metal is the only known deterrent to the fire magic the flowed through the blood of Autumn court fae.
"It's incredibly hard to find, near impossible to forge into something wearable, and gods-damned expensive as a result. I can't explain to you how it works, just that it'll lessen the effect of fire magic on the wearer. The Mother balances all things she creates."
Eris pivoted towards him and in the blink of an eye clipped the bracelet around Azriel's own wrist. It sat right below where the scars on his hand faded into unmarred skin.
Azriel gaped at the High Lord.
"Well it's not like I need it," Eris said in response to his expression. "I am the Lord of fire. It's not exactly going to hurt me."
Fluttering ignited within Azriel's chest, it tickled along his ribs.
"Will it protect me from you?" He meant the question to sound coy but it came across strained.
Flames flickered in Eris's irises as he said, "Nothing could stop me from reaching you, Azriel."
Azriel's heart ponded painfully within him. "Your fire, you mean?"
"Yes, my fire." The flames in his eyes shuttered and he took a step away.
They strolled on.
It was impossible to miss the way passersby looked at Eris. Hunger. Longing.
It reminded Azriel that nightfall was rapidly approaching, only two hours away. The notion saddened him.
"How does tonight work. For you?" questioned Azriel, although he wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer.
Eris smirked in amusement at him, "When two people are attracted to one another, Azriel, they do something called-"
"You ass," he growled, cutting Eris off, "What's the ritual? I know Calanmai has a cave, Summer a beach cove, Winter... I don't know- a glacier? What's the landmark of choice for Autumn."
"A tree."
"A tree?"
"Yes. A tree. Don't give me that look, I didn't pick it. There's a large oak tree at the center of Autumn, I'm told it's been there since the court's creation. It's said to be the center, the beating heart, of all magic here. A load of nonsense but it's tradition at this point. I've seen it a few times. It's this massive thing, so large that a hundred people wouldn't be enough to line its entire perimeter. According to my father, it's hollow inside. I'm not sure how that works out. There's ancient wards around the oak that only allow the High Lord to approach or winnow inside the tree. And that- that is where the magic happens." Literally and figuratively.
"A magic sex tree?" Azriel said crudely.
"It's no worse than a magic sex cave. Certainly better than a glacier. Or snow bank. We should really find out what it is in Winter."
"Well I feel bad for whatever poor female gets chosen for you tonight. She has your company and a floor of dirt to look forward to." Bitterness laced Azriel's words and he hoped it sounded like contempt for the High Lord.
"Don't sound too jealous now, Azriel." The fire was back raging in the High Lord's eyes, "After all, no one said it had to be a female."
Azriel couldn't help it as his attention dropped down to Eris's full lips at the words. Dropped to look at the High Lord's muscled body hidden beneath his clothing. Azriel wondered what his skin tasted like, if it was sweet and woodsy like the cinnamon and sandalwood that wafted on his scent.
"Unfortunately," Azriel choked out, "I will not be here to see the lucky chosen person. Female or male."
"What?" Eris sounded frantic.
"I'm not staying. Mor and I are leaving before nightfall. Nesta and Cassian are the only ones remaining."
Eris stared at him, eyes wide, searching Azriel's face. "Are you serious? You're leaving? Why did you come?"
"You invited us. Mor was adamant on coming and I didn't want her to come alone, Nesta and Cassian aren't much for company." It was a lie, one that Azriel spouted again.
"Then where is your precious Morrigan?" Eris made a show of looking around them.
"I'm here if she needs me."
"You really came here only for her?" Devastation etched across Eris's face. Azriel refused to read into the expression but his shadows were jumping around him, slithering out as if they wanted to wipe that look off the High Lord's face.
"Why do you care anyway? What's it to you if I stay and find some stranger to fuck in the woods and add a little magic to your Great Rite. It doesn't interest me." The words were a barrier to hide the war raging inside Azriel; to hide the feelings ripping away inside of him desperate to get out.
Eris looked away from him and stared up into the vibrant canopy of leaves above them. The setting sun shone down through the branches, making his fair skin glow. He seemed to be counting every leaf on the oak that towered over them. As Eris got lost in the scenery above them, Azriel took a moment to map out every detail of his face.
Eventually Eris said, voice controlled, "You're right, I don't care. I'll be preoccupied with someone else anyway."
Eris glared at him, staring deep into his soul, as if he could see the animal that went wild inside of Azriel at his words.
They walked for an hour longer, finally approaching the south entrance again. Their conversation was noticeably more stilted.
The disgust from the fried frogs had abated but Azriel found he was no longer hungry for an entirely different reason.
The sun was cresting the horizon. Soon it would set completely and the Great Rite would begin. He could feel the magic thrumming in the air, ready to break free from the confines restricting it.
He looked at Eris next to him. The High Lord looked agitated, twitchy. The magic must be beating away at him as the Rite's beginning drew nearer.
Now that he had his gaze on him, Azriel couldn't look away. There was a magnet inside of him drawing him closer as if its match was inside the High Lord. He understood now why people went mad during Great Rites, this heady sensation made him want to disregard all expectations and let loose. Azriel wanted to lean in and taste the sweat beading up on Eris's skin.
Unknowingly, Azriel had taken a few steps closer to Eris who darted his attention over to him. He wanted to keep those amber eyes on him- didn't want anyone else to come in between them. He wanted to feel Eris's burning palms running along the skin under his jacket. Wanted to feel those lips against his neck, sucking marks for everyone to see.
Azriel needed him. He couldn't let anyone else have him- not tonight.
He was going to tell him as such, "I-"
"Azriel!"
The call from Mor broke through the haze Azriel was lost in.
"What? Azriel, what?" Eris grabbed him by his jacket bringing his attention towards the High Lord again.
Azriel wanted to step into the fire inside of Eris's eyes and burn.
"Azriel" Mor's hand clamped down on his shoulder as she said his name a second time.
He turned to look at her.
"It's nearly nightfall, we should go. I'm feeling pretty drained, do you think you can winnow both of us back? I don't think I can make it the entire way?" she looked up at him expectantly.
He needed to go. He couldn't leave her here alone. He looked back at Eris.
The High Lord looked like he was seconds from dropping to his knees to beg Azriel to stay. The hand holding his jacket twisted tighter.
"What were you going to say, Azriel?" Eris sounded manic.
"I need to go, Eris"
"Yes. Okay." He looked crestfallen. His hand still gripped Azriel's jacket.
"You need to let go."
The High Lord actually shook his head no in response to that.
"Of the jacket. You need to let go of my jacket." Azriel felt like his heart was ripping out of his chest. Desire was swallowing him whole.
He at last dropped his hand away.
Azriel spun on his heels, grabbed Mor, and winnowed away without glancing back.
.…........................
Azriel bid Mor goodnight in the dimly lit foyer of the River House and dazedly made his way up to his room on the second floor of the home. Dropping onto the foot of his bed, he propped his elbows on his knees, stuffed the heels of his hands into his eyes and pressed so hard that a constellation of lights popped into his vision.
He needed to get up. He needed to fly. He needed to lay down. He needed to get drunk. He needed to go to sleep. He needed to scream until there was nothing left in him. He needed to curl up and cry.
There was an animal inside of him clawing to get out, ripping at his chest so hard he swore he could feel it tearing underneath his ribs.
What was wrong with him?
After a few minutes there was a knock on his door and Azriel jolted up from the hunched position he'd been in.
Peering in through the cracked doorway was Mor. When she met his gaze, she gently swung the door open the rest of the way. It was silent for a moment as she looked over him as he remained sitting on the foot of the bed.
"You should go back", Mor whispered delicately into the depth of the room.
Azriel's brows furrowed. He just stared at her, tried to read her expression. There was nothing but quiet contemplation on her beautiful face.
"You should go back", she repeated, simply. Mor's assessing gaze tore into him. He could feel the truth she wielded cutting through him as they looked at one another.
Azriel said nothing. Couldn't choke out the words and only shook his head.
Mor at last entered the room fully and crossed over to where he remained sitting.
She gently grasped his face between both of her hands and angled him up to look at her. Her fingers were delicate and soft against his skin as her thumbs stroked short arcs soothingly against his cheeks. There was a time that he would've killed for a touch like this from her.
Now all Azriel could think about is what the same touch would feel like under wider, stronger, warmer palms. If there were fiery amber eyes looking back at him instead of warm brown ones.
His eyes pricked at the thought and he attempted to duck out of Mor's grip, cowering at the weight of everything he felt.
"You're the one who asked me to leave with you. Why should I go back," he asked her, staring at the tile underneath her shoes.
"I wanted you to have a few moments alone, away from the Rite's magic so you could clear your head and think without it influencing you."
His shook his head again, "I don't want to go back."
"Yes you do. You know you do."
"I don't want to want to go back." He looked back up at her.
"You don't need to be afraid of it anymore, Azriel. We love you, every part of you. No matter what you choose." This was the Morrigan of Truth who spoke to him now. The fae who saw every facet of the world around her with uncharacteristic clarity.
She didn't elaborate before heading back out of Azriel's room and down the hall. She left his door open.
Azriel sat there. He counted to a hundred before standing up and hurtling out the door and down the stairs. He rushed out into the front courtyard, made his way to the ward boundaries and winnowed away in a swirl of shadows.
.…........................
The hum of a crowd didn't meet him this time as his feet touched down in the Autumn court for the second time that day. The buzzing of insects and the rustling of wind blowing through leaves were the only sounds that kept him company.
He didn't recognize the land where his pesky shadows deposited him. He intended to go back to the same spot he originally left.
He felt, more than he heard, someone winnow into existence behind him.
Azriel drew his blade and spun around, expecting to find an attacker awaiting him.
It was Eris.
His hand holding the knife went limp and dropped down in shock.
"How did you find me so quickly?" he asked.
"I could find you anywhere you go, Azriel."
His name was butter in the High Lord's mouth. He wanted to grab Eris and taste the tongue that said his name like that.
"You came back." Eris's pupils were blown wide as he looked Azriel up and down. He'd become a creature of the Rite, the power making him more monster than male.
Azriel's blood rushed in his ears in response.
"I did."
"Why?"
"Why do you think?"
"I need to hear you say it." The male clawed back control to ask that question. To hear Azriel give his consent.
Azriel let him stew in silence, driving Eris mad. He was nervous to let the words out of his mouth.
Growing impatient, Eris said, "Azriel."
"I want you... Eris. I want this. I want you."
With a groan at his words, Eris rushed to Azriel and slammed his lips into his.
The first press of Eris's lips against his own was like a lightning strike. It made Azriel's skin burst to life with the power of it.
Azriel slid his hands into the silky red strands of the male and held him close. He angled the male's head to the side to deepen the glide of their lips along one another.
Eris's hands, which had gripped his waist, moved down underneath Azriel's jacket to brush along the skin of his lower back. His hands burned a path along Azriel's skin, just how he imagined they would. At the sensation, Azriel let out a small groan.
Eris used the opportunity to slide his tongue into Azriel's mouth. His tongue stroked along Azriel's own, sending a shiver of desire down his spine.
The taste of Eris was better than he ever expected; it made him feel high. He barely drew a breath, not wanting to part from Eris's mouth for more than a second. His taste was more gratifying than air.
Azriel pressed his front into Eris until they were fully flush, his hardness pressing into the other male's own.
"Azriel, fuck," Eris backed away for a moment to murmur on his lips. "I need- I need-," he didn't finish that thought before leaning in to give more sucking kisses to Azriel's bottom lip.
A broken groan escaped Azriel as the High Lord bit down on his lower lip, his cock growing harder in his pants.
Eris pulled off him again and grabbed Azriel's face between his hands to keep him still. That didn't stop Azriel from chasing his lips for more.
"Have you been with a male before?" Eris asked him.
"I'm 545 years old, Eris, of course I've fucked males."
Eris growled at the statement, eyes blazing. He grabbed Azriel's ass and dragged him back in for a few moments.
Panting to catch his breath, Eris said, "That's not what I mean." He squeezed his ass for emphasis.
Oh.
No, he hadn't. Not that it didn't appeal to him but he could never give someone control of him like that. But looking at Eris, into the face of the male he'd grown to know so well the past year, Azriel didn't feel the same trepidation that tended to hold him back. Azriel realized that he actually trusted Eris. He wondered when that happened.
"I want to." With you, only with you. He hoped his eyes conveyed the truth he wouldn't speak.
Eris leaned in and gave Azriel a gentle kiss before winnowing them away.
They reappeared inside the hollow of a massive tree. It must've been the oak Eris spoke about before.
It smelled mossy and the air was damp inside the trunk. As Azriel predicated, only dirt lined the floor.
Eris conjured a couple faelights that rose above them and sent a gentle glow cascading down upon the pair.
There was a beat thrumming in the air. It pounded so loud through Azriel that he felt his heart skip to match its beat. The sound made his head swim with a heady sensation.
He saw Eris in front of him similarly affected.
His gaze dropped to see tenting at the front of Eris's pants. His wings twitched with the arousal that flooded him in response. He needed him. Now.
Always knowing what was on Azriel's mind, Eris hooked a finger through one of Azriel's belt loops and dragged him back toward him.
Instead of his mouth, this time Eris ran his lips down Azriel's throat. They were delicate kisses that sent goosebumps over Azriel's arm. The male seemed to be savoring the pounding of Azriel's pulse beneath him. When he reached the soft hollow between his neck and shoulder, Eris sucked hard.
Azriel's knees buckled beneath him. Only Eris's strong arms supporting him kept Azriel up as the High Lord laid claim to the sensitive spot.
Azriel shoved at the coat draped around Eris's shoulders. The maroon garment thudded to the dirt floor with success.
Once that was gone, Azriel slid his hands under Eris's silk white shirt and traced along his back and chest. Though Eris was leaner than him, shapely muscle lay underneath his clothes. He had been general of Autumn for close to five centuries, the training required for that now showed in the strong chest and abdomen that Azriel's fingers ghosted down.
Eris moved on to sucking a matching mark on the other side of his neck. Azriel's head fell to the side as he let out a low, deep whine at the sensation.
"You taste so good," the High Lord whispered into his skin.
Azriel rolled his hips against Eris's in a desperate search for friction. Eris snapped his fingers and the entirety of both the males' clothes disappeared.
A wobbling sound left his mouth as he took in the sight of the naked male against him. Eris's muscled, pale chest and long lean legs made his mouth water. He wanted to taste every inch of him. He pushed Eris to the ground and did just that.
Azriel nipped and sucked down the male's chest, leaving marks and savoring the taste of his skin. He paused when he reached Eris's cock. Where Azriel was long, Eris was thick.
He bent down aiming to take him in his mouth when he was stopped.
"No." Eris's chest was heaving. "I can't- don't want to finish yet. If you take me in your mouth, this'll be over far too quick."
Azriel smirked, leaning down to lick a long stripe up the underside of him anyway before leaning back on his knees.
Eris followed him up and pushed him down onto his back. The male settled between Azriel's legs and looked down at him.
"Is this okay for your wings?"
Azriel never let his wings get trapped like this. In his centuries of taking lovers, would only ever be on top. But the sight of Eris above him made his cock twitch and blood heat, and Azriel knew it was alright.
"It's fine."
Spurred on by his confirmation, Eris bent down and took Azriel in his mouth without preamble.
Azriel shouted a groan at the warm sensation of Eris's mouth around him. He worked Azriel slowly, tongue dragging along him. Eris was looking at him, watching his every reaction with blazing eyes.
After a minute, Azriel started to feel a tightening in his lower stomach. He was already so close.
Just then, Eris's hand that rested on his thigh, slid over to press into the area beneath Azriel's balls. Questioning eyes looked to him and Azriel nodded his approval.
A bottle of oil appeared out of thin air into Eris's other hand and Azriel felt a zap of cleaning magic rush through him. Convenient.
Eris pulled away to pour oil onto the fingers of his right hand. After slicking them up, Eris grabbed one of Azriel's thighs and pushed it up out of the way. He then ducked down and took Azriel in his mouth again while gently pressing the tip of his pointer finger against Azriel's hole.
The Illyrian let out a choppy moan and the High Lord slowly pressed his entire, long finger into him. It was a weird sensation. Neither pleasant or unpleasant, just new. Eris's mouth continued to move up and down him, keeping the pleasure stable. After a few seconds Eris moved the finger within him, steadily withdrawing and pushing back in.
Azriel relaxed around the finger after a few moments and felt Eris's middle finger push in to join it. He hissed at the slight burning sensation that went with it. The High Lord shot him an apologetic look.
Both fingers pressed in all the way together and repeated the same cycle of moving slowly to loosen Azriel up. The only noises were the sounds of Eris's mouth on his cock, the slide of the fingers inside him, and the gentle moans coming from his mouth. As Azriel once again relaxed around the fingers, Eris pulled off him.
He gave Azriel a wicked smirk before curling his fingers up and brushing along a spot that he hadn't yet touched. Azriel's legs spasmed at the jolt of pleasure that shot through him.
"Gods, what was that." he moaned out.
"You must not have been pleasuring those male's very well if you don't know what that is, Azriel."
Eris started thrusting his two fingers harder inside of him, keeping steady pressure on the spot.
Azriel threw his head back, moaning loudly.
Eris pushed a third slicked finger in. The burning only heightened his pleasure this time.
Azriel drew his second leg up as Eris rammed his three fingers into him, no longer taking Azriel in his mouth. He didn't need it. The High Lord's fingers alone felt amazing.
Azriel's hole eased around the three fingers and was taking a fourth appendage in no time. He felt stretched so wide. The amount of fingers Eris had stuffed into him allowed him to brush roughly against that spot every time. Knees drawn up, Azriel's eyes rolled back into his head as he laid there getting fingered by the High Lord. His hands clenched at the ground above his head.
The drums of the Great Rite thrummed around them. The sound clanged in Azriel's ears. The closer he got to finishing, the louder they grew. They reached a deafening crescendo before Eris's movements came to a stop inside of him.
Azriel groaned out in protest. He was about to cum from Eris's fingers alone. His hips thrusted uselessly as he tried to get him moving again
Eris leaned down and sucked Azriel's lips into a kiss. "You're not cumming until you're on my cock, you big bat." He slipped his fingers out of Azriel.
Eris sat back and started slicking his cock up with oil.
"I want you to start off riding me," he said, "that way I know you're in control in the start. The magic is getting to me, I don't know how much longer I can keep it contained and I don't want to hurt you."
The sentiment thrummed in Azriel's chest.
He swung a leg over the male and settled up against his chest. Eris was sat up, a hand on the ground behind him to prop himself. The other was still stroking his cock.
Since the males were the same height standing, Azriel rose over him a bit while sitting in his lap. He leaned forward, unable to resist the temptation of kissing Eris.
When he pulled back, Eris was giving him a look that knocked the wind out of him. There was a well of desire and admiration in his eyes. No one had ever looked at Azriel with such raw longing before.
He felt Eris line himself up behind him. The head pressed against him and Azriel rocked his hips back slightly. He had to press hard to get the tip to pop in and when he did, he released a long whine at the burn.
Azriel gripped the High Lord's shoulders tightly. His features twisted at the discomfort and he stayed motionless for a while. With one hand still holding himself, Eris raised the other to rub along Azriel's lower back.
Eris tilted his chin up and recaptured Azriel's lips. It proved a welcome distraction and shortly Azriel was rocking his hips again, taking more of Eris's cock in him.
The hand Eris had on his lower back was gently pushing him down on every rock, increasing the pace at which Azriel took him. It was the only sign of desperation from the High Lord.
Once Eris was far enough inside him that he didn't need to guide his cock in anymore, his hand reached around Azriel's front to press a thumb against the skin between Azriel's balls and hole.
The jolt that shot through Azriel was similar to the one from the spot inside him. With a renewed desired, Azriel pushed down into the press of Eris's thumb. As his hips chased the pleasure of the pressure, Azriel was surprised to find himself meet the jut of Eris's hips below him. He had taken him to the hilt.
He leaned into Eris's neck and moaned loudly at the feeling of the male's cock fully enclosed within him.
"Fuck. So good Azriel. You're so good."
Azriel was stretched so wide on the base of Eris's thick cock. He felt the tip deep within his stomach.
In that moment, Azriel was completely owned by the High Lord.
He raised his hips up a few inches and dropped back down. Eris let out a rasping groan and tightened his arms around Azriel.
Azriel's shadows wrapped around the pair as he began to ride Eris in earnest. Eris's cock scrapped deliciously along that spot inside of him and Azriel rode him hard, addicted to the feeling.
His full, leaking cock bounced forgotten beneath their stomachs.
"You're riding me so good, Azriel. You feel fucking amazing." Eris groaned into his ear.
The praise made Azriel's skin flush. He wanted to erase every fae from Eris's memory. Make him forget anyone that wasn't him.
He bounced mindlessly on Eris's length. Content to stay like that, wringing the helpless moans from the male's mouth.
But the pressure on his thighs grew to be too much and Azriel still needed it harder. He couldn't ride Eris's cock hard or fast enough to get what he wanted.
"Eris," he moaned deeply. "More. I want more."
"Gods, Azriel. Anything. I'll give you anything you want."
"Fuck me, please."
Without pulling out, Eris flipped him onto his back, showing care for his wings. He hooked both of Azriel's legs over his arms and placed his hands onto the dirt floor in the gap between Azriel's waist and wings. He then started pounding so hard into Azriel that the Illyrian saw stars.
The feeling of the full length of Eris's thick cock pistoning in and out him rendered Azriel speechless. All he could do was grip Eris's back and moan into the air in the hollow of the tree.
The beat of the Great Rite's drums resumed, matching the rhythm at which Eris fucked in to him. The slap of their pelvises reverberated in the enclosed space.
Eris dropped his legs and lowered himself on to his forearms by Azriel's head. The shallower angle made him grind furiously against that spot along Azriel's walls. Eris nipped at his lower lip, panting into his mouth.
"You're so gods damn perfect Azriel."
Azriel moaned at the words.
The drums raced around them.
"So. fucking. beautiful." Each word from Eris was interrupted by a brutally deep thrust.
"I wish I could fuck you all night but I'm so close," the High Lord continued on.
Azriel nodded in agreement, wrapping his legs tight around Eris's hips. He didn't want the male pulling too far away from him, not now. He hole was squeezing sporadically around Eris's length.
"I-" Azriel couldn't get anything out, too busy moaning.
The drumming was reaching a crescendo again. It rocked against Azriel's skin.
"What is it." Eris brushed kisses along Azriel's jaw as he fucked him.
The beat around them was deafening.
"I feel so good, Eris-" Azriel groaned out the male's name.
It must've been from witnessing the delirium of Azriel's pleasure that he caused but at his words, Eris shouted out a long surprised groan. Azriel felt the male's cock twitching inside of him and his thrusts stuttered to quick, deep jabs. Heat bloomed within Azriel's stomach from the High Lord cumming.
At the sensation of the pulsing warmth of Eris's cum inside him, Azriel felt his own cock start to shoot. He grabbed himself moaning as his strokes heightened his finish.
As Azriel plummeted down into his orgasm, the drums of the Rite's magic pulsed through him. The beat matching the rhythm of his heart hammering inside him. Azriel's legs tightened around Eris as they both rose and fell through the waves of their pleasure, creating their own rhythm that sang with the magic of the night.
Fingers still dug tightly into the pale muscled back above him, Azriel's release came to an end. His legs dropped and relaxed to the ground as all his strength flooded away. He felt Eris's cock give one final kick inside him before he too finished and relaxed fully down onto Azriel's front.
The thrum of the magic in the air came to a stop, the sounds of the woods rushing in to fill the silence left by the drum's departure.
They laid there, Azriel wasn't sure how long, catching their breath. He closed his eyes, laid his head back, and enjoyed the warmth of Eris pressed against him.
The pressure on his wings soon became too much and he shifted, pushing slightly at Eris's hips.
With a groan, the male on top of him pushed up onto him arms, staring down between them as he pulled out. Azriel hissed at the sensation.
"M'sorry," Eris murmured, rubbing a hand down Azriel's thigh soothingly.
Eris Vanserra was rubbing his thigh.
Hundreds of fae showed up tonight with the hopes they'd be the lucky ones selected to sleep with the High Lord. And here Azriel was, in the middle of some historic magical tree, spend dripping out of him, getting his thigh rubbed by Cauldron-damned Eris Vanserra.
It was completely fucking surreal.
Azriel giggled. He didn't think he'd ever giggled in his life.
He felt drunk on the atmosphere. Maybe this was an after-effect of the magic's let-down; after the high of Rite abated you were left feeling delirious.
Eris took one look at him and started laughing too. They were definitely delirious.
Leaning his weight forward into his forearms again, Eris rested his forehead against Azriel's collarbone as laughter kept rocking his frame. Azriel buried his face in the silky red hair below him, chuckling into it.
With deep breaths, they both collected themselves.
Eris rose up onto his knees and glanced down between Azriel's legs.
"Fuck," Eris groaned, throwing his head back," You need to close your legs or I'm going to be ready for round two in a few seconds."
Azriel burst into laughter again, kicking Eris away from him.
"Gods," Eris moaned as he clambered to his feet. He reached a hand out for Azriel who took it and forced Eris to do most of the work pulling him up.
Azriel wrapped his arms around Eris's hips, the other male grabbing his bicep and throwing his second arm around Azriel's neck.
Silence weighed down on them as they stood facing each other. Eris's thumb left a path of heat in the arcs it swiped along Azriel's bicep. His other hand played in the short cropped hair at the base of Azriel's head.
With the high of the night seeping from his system and Eris's hands tracing warm paths along his skin, Azriel felt his eyes start to droop.
"Will you stay with me tonight?" Eris whispered, lips only mere inches away from Azriel's own. Anything louder would've felt like a shout in the calm atmosphere around them.
Azriel nodded in assent, he wasn't sure any words would make it out of him.
He leaned forward capturing Eris's lips in a delicate kiss. They stayed like that, mouths moving slowly together, until Eris pulled again with one last nip to Azriel's lower lip.
"C'mon," he murmured, backing away from Azriel. With a snap of his fingers, Eris magicked both of their clothes back on.
Azriel walked up to press into Eris's front again and raised his hands to straighten the male's cloak which skewed haphazardly on his shoulders.
"Magic is not a precise science," Eris justified.
Mustering up the energy to speak, he replied, "You're such an ass."
Cackling, Eris winnowed them away in a crack of flames and light.
...........................................
The large rustic living room of Eris's manor was blessedly cool.
Warmth prickled along Azriel's skin, it felt like the sun was beaming down on him. He'd lived most of his life at a temperature that matched the night-time air on a crisp autumn night. This was a welcome change but an odd adjustment.
Azriel had a feeling the fire lord with him had something to do with it.
His eyes traced the wooden beams that led to the top of the room's vaulted ceilings as Eris moved around the kitchen in the distance.
Shuffling alerted Azriel to his entrance back into the living room.
He eagerly accepted the tall glass of water Eris handed to him and chugged it in one go, spilling a good portion of it down his chin.
"Brute"
Azriel glared at him through the glass.
"Didn't stop you from fucking me."
Eris's eyes darkened at the words, the right side of his face was lit up from the moonlight pouring in through the sizable windows that framed the woods outside. The High Lord only shrugged, grinning wildly.
His own grin grew in response. This was probably the most he'd smiled in one day. There was an ache in his cheeks from his overuse of the action; mindlessly he rubbed at the sore spots.
"Get used to it," Eris said.
Azriel didn't know if he meant the fucking or the smiling. Both would be fine, he figured.
They stumbled upstairs, giggling like a pair of drunk younglings every time Azriel's wings caught on the stairs. He was usually much better about keeping them raised but his body felt like it'd been sitting in the birchin for an hour- every muscle loose and tired.
Eris's bedroom was large and its foundation was laid by the same rich, dark wood that Azriel had loved in the kitchen. On the opposite side of the bedroom's entryway was a wall of windows and a glass door that led out to a partially enclosed terrace.
In the moonlight, Azriel vaguely deciphered a few plush couches and ottomans clustered together out there. They were enclosed by concrete columns that lined the terrace's perimeter. Enough space was between each column that, if Azriel wished, he could climb the railing and sail out over the autumnal canopy on his wings.
"You look like you're plotting your escape." Eris's sharp gaze tracked Azriel's own. He'd always been able to read him like book much to Azriel's chagrin.
"A good fighter always has an exit strategy."
A flash of sadness crossed Eris's expression at his words. There- and then gone- before Azriel could truly register it.
Reality began crashing in around him, settling a heavy weight on his chest.
To distract himself, he stepped onwards into the room and continued his assessment of the space. To the right was a massive fireplace framed by a large picture window on either side. Azriel saw the glow of faelights at the Forest House in the distance. There were two leather armchairs placed in front of the fireplace.
The left of the room held a palatial bed, wide enough to comfortably fit two winged fae if desired.
It was a wonderful space. If Azriel had ever desired to design his own, it likely would've looked a lot like this. It was nothing akin to Feyre and Rhy's palatial, overly ornate estate, or the soulless sandstone interiors of the House of Wind. Eris's room- his house- was warm and inviting, it beckoned Azriel in like a moth to a flame.
Eris, having followed Azriel into the room, continued on, "There are stairs up to the roof... if you wanted to know other escape options. It'd probably be easier to take off and land there."
Azriel turned to face the male behind him and asked, "Why do you have stairs to your roof?" Odd indeed for a male who could never and would ever be able to fly himself.
"Why not?" Eris wouldn't meet his eyes then.
But Azriel knew. Deep down he knew, had always known.
The roof. The two armchairs in front of the fire place. The dining chairs carved for wings. The male's burning gaze that was able to melt away centuries of ice that coated the outside of Azriel's soul.
He knew what it all meant, used to be terrified of it. Yesterday afternoon he feared it so much he could hardly breath.
He wasn't scared anymore.
And Eris knew too. Had likely known far longer than Azriel- he was always so clever.
Eris had probably figured it out forever ago and let it rot away inside of him. Trapped in his mind, tormenting him like the scars from his father that would never mar his skin.
"Centuries, Azriel," Eris muttered. It was as if the fire-blooded male in front of him, who still would not look at Azriel, could read every thought that ran through his mind. Could he?
Silence settled around them. Eris's attention focused on the dew fogged window next to them. He looked fixedly at the Forest House lights gleaming in the distance.
"I've wanted you- this- for centuries," Eris ground out. The truth, at last.
"I have known for centuries." Each word out of Eris's mouth sounded pained.
Azriel walked up to the male, reached out a scarred hand to gently grab his chin and turned his face towards him.
He traced every inch of Eris's face with his thumb. The strong jaw that framed everything. The sharp cut of the cupid's bow on his full lips. The long, straight bridge of his nose. The flushed cheeks that burned under Azriel's touch. The constellation of freckles that dotted his porcelain skin. The permanent crease between his brows, the only sign of mortality on his beautiful, immortal face.
He looked nothing like Azriel but looking upon him was like gazing into a mirror.
"All this time? Everything?" Azriel whispered. He couldn't find it in himself to elaborate, desperately hoped that Eris would once again understand what he meant.
"Everything. Always. It was always you." Eris's brows cut together, a look of sorrow and desperation overtaking the face under Azriel's thumb.
A small whimper escaped Azriel's lips but he clamped down on it.
The small sound must've been enough for Eris because it seemed a dam broke inside of him with the way his next words poured out.
"From the first moment I saw you at Hewn City, I knew Azriel. I could feel it so deep in my bones that it ached. But the engagement to Mor had already been finalized and I had no clue what to do. I knew you loved her, saw how you looked at her. I felt sick. My mate-"
Another whimper broke from Azriel's lips at the word. Eris spoke it with such finality and confidence.
At its utterance, a key clicked into place deep inside Azriel's chest and opened a truth that he had known all along.
"My mate," Eris continued "was in love with the female I was set to marry. Quickly, I grew to realize Mor's desperation for freedom, the truth about herself she kept hidden away. I couldn't help her. Azriel, you have to believe me. I tried. But, I had so little power to fix the situation. Leaving her there- in the woods, leaving her to her freedom, it was the best I could do. I thought she would understand. I thought you would underst-" Eris's voice cracked on the last word and he ducked his head down out of Azriel's hands to hide it from view.
Composing himself with a deep breath, Eris raised his head and continued on.
"I never imagined my actions would lead to you hating me for centuries. I thought I'd have a chance to explain. I thought you- Mor- Rhysand- anybody- I thought somebody would understand that if I helped her, she would have become a ward of my court. Trapped there. Keir knew; that's why he left her in my woods. Eventually I realized it was for the better- you hating me. I was a fool for ever thinking otherwise. I still had no power against my father and if he ever suspected, ever got a whiff, of what you were to me, he would have tried to kill you. He most certainly would have killed me. And it all would have been for nothing. I knew I did the right thing after he executed Jesminda. She was harmless, so innocent, a member of his own court, and he still killed her for the crime of being a lesser fae in love with my brother. It was then that I decided to never do anything but make you hate me. I wanted you as far away from me as possible. I could handle the torture my father inflicted upon me but the one thing I'd never be able to bare was him hurting you. Not you. Never you."
Eris's voice shook as silent tears cut across his cheeks. Azriel wondered how he could still be so beautiful while he cried.
"You were this precious thing that the Mother had blessed me with and the only thing that mattered to me was keeping you safe. And the only way I could do that was by keeping you far away from me and the reaches of Beron. Then everything with Amarantha happened. Forty-nine years under there and Azriel, you were the only thing that got me through it. Knowing you were safe, wherever you were, and that you were out there. I made a vow to myself that if I lived through the ordeal, if I ever managed to be free, I'd fix my wrongs. I didn't want to die knowing you still hated me. I wanted to see you, at least once, look upon me with something other than loathing. But then I got addicted to it- addicted to you not hating me anymore. Addicted to being with you, speaking to you, learning about you, playing gods damned chess with you. I crave it more than I crave my next breath. Five hundred years of torment and the past year has made every second worth it. I would do it all again. I would suffer another five centuries of you loving another, another five centuries of facing my father's cruelty, another five centuries of being hated by all of Prythian just for this- just for you."
Azriel's vision blurred from the tears flooding in his eyes, mind whirring as he tried to process the weight of Eris's confessions. No words came to him. Instead, he leaned forward into Eris's shoulder and sobbed. He sobbed and sobbed, releasing centuries worth of sadness and pain and loneliness that had built up inside him. He found a comfort in the crook of Eris's neck that he'd felt never anywhere else before.
It was as if his soul knew he'd met his mate all those years ago in the depths of Hewn City and had been decaying inside him ever since, growing sick at the distance that separated it from its other half. As Azriel leaned into the warmth of Eris, he felt a small part of his frozen, sad soul started to heal.
Eris said nothing, stroking a thumb across the back of Azriel's neck. He leaned more heavily into the sturdy support of Eris's body with each soothing swipe.
"Let's go to bed," Eris whispered into his ear once the sobs stopped racking Azriel's body and his choppy breathing evened out.
There'd be more time to talk tomorrow. The darkness of the night felt too fragile for the words they would need to share, the decisions that needed to be made.
Eris turned his head and gently brushed his lips across Azriel's. They fell in to one another, deepening the kiss before pulling away to catch their breath.
Eris ran the hand that was on the back of his neck down his arm, fingers ghosting across the sleeve of the dark green jacket Azriel wore. At the cuff, he danced along the black sewn embellishments before finally trailing down to tangle his fingers with Azriel's.
Wordlessly, he pulled him towards the bed.
When they got to the foot of it, Eris raised his hands up and began unclasping the silver buttons that held Azriel's jacket closed. He then reached around his back and unbuttoned the ones that ran from the bottom hem to the base of his wings.
"I really do like this jacket on you," Eris whispered into the depth of the silence.
"I knew you would," Azriel murmured back.
He said nothing about the disbelief that twinkled in Eris's eyes. He knew Azriel too well.
Kicking off his shoes and shucking down the tight black trousers he wore, Azriel rounded the bed to the right side closest to the wall of windows. Behind him, he heard Eris also undressing.
Azriel lifted back the heavy duvet and stretched out on his stomach, hoping to give his wings some reprieve from the pressure they'd endured that night. The cool cotton sheets tempered the burning he felt inside of him.
Eris climbed in next to him and laid on his back.
Turning to face the High Lord, his High Lord, he reached out a hand to grasp the wrist that lay closest to him and stroked the delicate skin there.
At the contact, Eris slid over underneath Azriel's outstretched wing, moving closer to him as their gaze locked.
Fire blazed deep inside his amber eyes. It felt like an old friend; one that had scarred him long ago but would never again.
They probably should've bathed, should've eaten something, should've talked more. But the smell of sandalwood and cinnamon flooded Azriel's senses, seeping the energy from his body. All he could do was watch the fire dance in the eyes next to him and think about how Eris smelled like a long-lost nostalgia that he'd finally found.
For the first time, sleep welcomed Azriel with open arms and he felt at peace.
95 notes · View notes
elusive-writer · 2 years ago
Note
Hello!!
I was wondering if you could write some head canons or a one shot about a non-binary reader x Kakyoin who always dances to the music on the radio? Its one of my favorite things to do when I’m playing 70’s-80’s music and I go unnecessarily hard lmao, if possible could you add the other crusaders but platonically?? Like maybe they are all in the car driving and then a song the reader likes comes on the radio and then they just start hitting the boogie in the passenger seat? I apologize if its kinda weirdly specific lol
Ah!! Hi there!
This is the first request I’ve gotten so I was super pumped to write this! And please don’t apologise! The more detail the better, gives me a better idea of what to write 🥰
This is my first time writing for a non-binary reader so I hope I did ok! Any and all feedback is majorly appreciated.
And since I couldn’t decide between head canons and a one shot, you get both lol
(I was also listening to a favourite 80s song of mine while writing this, so I hope it’s ok that it makes a little cameo in the one shot 😅)
I had a lot of fun writing this, so I hope you enjoy!
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𝘒𝘢𝘬𝘺𝘰𝘪𝘯 𝘹 𝘕𝘉! 𝘙𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘥𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘰
(feat. the other crusaders)
Word Count : 1.3k
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Head Canons :
Kakyoin absolutely LOVES when your favourite tunes come on, almost as much as you do.
Because it means he gets to see you boogie to your heart’s content.
You might think it’s because he finds it funny, but it’s far from it.
Every time you dance to the radio he’s just mesmerised, he loves the energy you give into every move.
Since Kakyoin was quite reserved as a child, he never had moments where he could just jam out with someone.
So when you gesture for him to join you, he knows he’d be a fool not to.
The other crusaders see the goofy smile on his face every time the two of you dance together.
So they subtly (not so subtly) ensure that you guys just so happen to be partnered up when you stay in hotels.
They come to regret this when your dancing sessions carry late into the night.
Every now and then Jotaro will get sick of it so you’ll hear a muffled “Shut up!” from the next room.
You and Kakyoin giggle quietly as you turn down the radio.
They don’t mind too much though, the nature of this journey is bleak at times so the liveliness you and Kakyoin bring is a welcome breath of fresh air.
Polnareff and Joseph even join you two for a chance to boogie occasionally.
One Shot :
Mr Joestar’s snoring is the only sound that fills the air as you drive along the deserted road. You get an earful of it since you’re sitting in the middle of him and Polnareff, with the latter driving.
You wanted to sit next to Kakyoin but this seating arrangement was the only way all 6 of you would be able to fit in the car. He sat directly behind you, between Jotaro and Avdol.
You’ve been driving for hours with no breaks, there’s not much to do in the car so you start to grow restless.
[YOU] - “Ughhh, I’m so bored!!”
You groan as you plonk your head on the dashboard.
[POLNAREFF] - “Hey hey watch it!”
Polnareff yanks you back into an upright position.
[POLNAREFF] - “You’re gonna give yourself a concussion.”
[YOU] - “Maybe that would be a blessing in disguise. It’d be more interesting than this.”
You rotate in your seat, leaning on your knees to look into the back seat. Jotaro is leaning back with his hat over his face and Avdol is just looking out the window. You look at Kakyoin and he has his eyes closed, he must be sleeping as well. He looks so peaceful, and although you wanna let him rest… you also really wanna talk to him.
[YOU] - “C’mon…”
You wave your hands in front of you like you're trying to cast some kinda voodoo spell.
[YOU] - “Wake up.”
And to no one’s surprise your incantation fails. You sigh.
[AVDOL] - “Why don’t you try the radio?”
You turn your attention towards the fortune teller.
[AVDOL] - “Maybe we can get a signal out here.”
You immediately perk up at the idea and nod. Turning back around you start fiddling with controls. There’s only static but you don't stop trying. You’re about to throw in the towel but then you hear the radio crackle to life.
♪ ♪ ♫ ♪
Your face lights up when you recognise the melody.
[YOU] - “No fucking way!”
[JOTARO] - “Good grief could you be any louder?”
You turn your head and Jotaro is now sitting up, you shoot him an apologetic smile.
[KAKYOIN] - “Can you blame them? This one is one of their favourites.”
♪ Shake it up is all that we know ♪
You immediately spin back around onto your knees and meet Kakyoin’s gaze.
[YOU] - “Hey you’re awake!”
[KAKYOIN] - “I’ve actually been awake for a while.”
♪ Using the bodies up as we go ♪
You start moving your shoulders to the rhythm.
[JOTARO] - “Good grief here we go again.”
♪ I’m waking up to fantasy ♪
Kakyoin laughs when you start using an imaginary microphone to mouth the lyrics. You hold a hand out to him, still getting your groove on.
[YOU] - “C’mon I know you wanna join me.”
♪ Broken ice still melts in the sun ♪
How can he refuse when you’re looking at him like that? Kakyoin grabs your hand and proceeds to go HAM with you. It’s like y’all are at your own personal concert. Your fingers are intertwined as you both seemingly escape into the music.
[JOTARO] - “Great, now there’s two of them.”
Avdol chuckles at the display in front of them.
[AVDOL] - “This is good, a little spirit is never a bad thing-”
[YOU] - “YOU’RE OUT OF TOUCH.”
You hold the ‘microphone’ to Kakyoin.
[KAKYOIN] - “I’M OUT OF TIME.”
[YOU + KAKYOIN] - “BUT I’M OUT OF MY HEAD WHEN YOU’RE NOT AROUND!”
Jotaro just shakes his head while Avdol’s laughter fills the space in between you and Kakyoin’s singing (screaming)
It goes on like this for a while, the radio cycles through the songs, and you and Kakyoin give an oscar worthy performance to every single one of them. Polnareff turns up the radio so you can really give it your all, Avdol joins in for some of the songs, and you even manage to get a tiny smirk from Jotaro.
It’s cut short when the radio stops while you’re in the middle of a song.
[YOU] - “Hey driver, what happened to the music?”
You hear a bit of fidgeting before he answers.
[POLNAREFF] - “Looks like we lost the signal.”
The disappointment is evident on your faces.
[KAKYOIN] - “You’re kidding.”
[POLNAREFF] - “Nope, unfortunately I’m not.”
You groan and plop your head on the headrest.
[YOU] - “Man…”
Kakyoin feels bad seeing you so downcast. His eyes fall on your hand that he still has in his grasp, thinking of how to improve your mood. And then an idea hits him.
[KAKYOIN] - “Hey Polnareff, you and Mr Joestar got this car second hand yeah?”
Polnareff looks at him through the rearview mirror.
[POLNAREFF] - “Yeah that’s right.”
He squeezes your hand gently to get your attention. You look up at him.
[KAKYOIN] - “Why don’t you check the glove compartment? Maybe the owner left some discs in there.”
Your eyes widen and you shoot up (almost hitting your head on the roof). His heart melts at the sight of your radiant smile.
[YOU] - “Kakyoin you beautiful genius!”
You grab the sides of his face and give him a peck on the lips. Jotaro and Avdol stifle their laughter as Kakyoin proceeds to malfunction when you turn around to search the compartment.
Opening it up there’s a small pile of discs there, you immediately pick them up and examine them.
[YOU] - “Score!”
You hold up one of the discs to show to Kakyoin.
[YOU] - “They have Wham! in here!”
[JOSEPH] - “What did you just say?”
Looking to the side you see that the old man’s awake, he looks a little startled.
[POLNAREFF] - “You’re finally awake Mr Joestar! I'm surprised you didn’t wake up sooner, we had the music pretty loud.”
Kakyoin leans forward in his seat.
[KAKYOIN] - “Are you ok Mr Joestar?”
You hold up the disc to him.
[YOU] - “Don’t tell me you’ve never heard of Wham! before.”
[JOSEPH] - “You can’t be serious.”
[AVDOL] - “I’m pretty sure they are Mr Joestar, Wham! is very popular.”
[JOTARO] - “Good grief old man, is your age catching up with you?”
The haunted look doesn’t leave Mr Joestar’s face as you look over the other discs with Kakyoin.
[KAKYOIN] - “What was that one you were showing me the other day… oh yeah! Do they have AC/DC?”
[YOU] - “Mhm! Oooo, they even have Santana.”
Your eyes light up when they land on a particular CD.
[YOU] - “Oh. My. God! Let’s put on Cars!“
[JOSEPH] - “HERMIT PURPLE!”
The discs are suddenly snatched out of your hands with purple vines and flung out the open window. You gawk at Mr Joestar as your only form of entertainment disappears into the dust. Kakyoin does his best to console you for the remainder of the drive.
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sebsallowapologist · 1 year ago
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Little Bird || Part 5
Sebastian Sallow x F!MC - 7th Year
Rated: 18+
Warnings:  cursing, being overworked, exiling yourself from your friends. 
Author’s Note: it has come to my attention while re-playing the game that I’ve been spelling Garreth wrong, in my defense autocorrect also thinks its “Gareth” so I feel like I should have a pass.
Little Bird Masterlist
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I took my sweet time getting ready that morning, brushing my hair and teeth meticulously before putting on my robes and leaving for breakfast. I’d hoped that by dragging my feet the dining hall would be mostly empty and I could just swipe a few things before going to class. 
Of course - I was not that lucky, Sebastian was standing outside of the Ravenclaw dormitories, leaning against the wall, his arms crossed in front of his chest. 
When he sees me talk out the door he stands up straight, moving his bag filled with his school supplies to his other shoulder. “I was beginning to worry I’d missed you.”
“Running late.” I mumble, not completely over the fight we’d had the evening before. 
Sebastian easily keeps up with me as we walk down the stairs, “I needed to apologize.” He says and I blush, “I was the one who set the Undercroft on fire.” I sigh, embarrassed by my outburst. 
“I deserved it. I had been pushing you too hard and I shouldn’t have done that.” He says, grabbing my arm so we stop walking down the stairs and he can turn to face me. “I’m sorry, Bird.” He says and pulls me into his chest, wrapping his arms around me tightly. “I hate when we fight.”
Fighting seems to be the only thing I’m good at lately. 
I want to give in, just squeeze him around the middle as tightly as I can and say it’s all water under the bridge, but his face last night, the pure fear in his features was burned into my brain. I’d never forget it. 
“Sebastian.” I sigh and pull back. “I just. I’m running late, okay?”
“No.”
“What?” 
“I said no, it’s not okay. It’s not going to be okay until I’ve made up with my best friend.” God he’s so fucking stubborn. 
“We’ve made up, Seb. We’re fine. I just really am running late today.” I lie. “I told Professor Weasley I would meet her before lessons started today and I’m afraid won’t make it in time.” 
“O-Oh.” He says, not really able to argue with that, even though I can tell he doesn’t fully believe it. I don’t often lie to him, and it’s making me feel a little sick.
“Maybe we can have lunch? Or do a dinner with the little beasties, yeah? Ominis hasn’t been bothered by the Nifflers in some time. I think we could go for a laugh.” He suggests, pulling at threads.
“Yeah.” I give a half hearted smile. “Maybe we’ll do dinner.” With that as my farewell I turn and start taking the stairs as quickly as I can without breaking out into a full run, and head to a floo flame. 
To make myself into less of a liar I do go toward Professor Weasley’s classroom. Ever since Fig had died my fifth year, she’d become my confidant. She’d been a tremendous help my sixth year when I was stressed out about school, about trying to rebuild my friendships after everything. 
I slip into her classroom and move to the back, knocking on the door. No one was waiting in the room so I assume she didn’t have a class this period. 
She calls for me to come in and I crack open the door, walking into her pristine office. She was always so put together in my eyes, well for someone who was practically running the school without the title of headmaster. “Good Morning, Professor.” I smile lightly at her and she gestures to the little sitting area sitting by a window. “How nice to see you, how has your term been so far?”
I felt the immediate urge to lie, to tell her that everything was alright, that my year was going beautifully. I didn’t want her to think I was failing, but at this point I wasn’t sure what much of an option I had. 
As soon as I opened my mouth the floodgates broke. I told her about me struggling in lessons, about not being able to contain my magic, or stop myself from fighting with my friends. My the end I had fully lost control of my emotions and I was just sobbing into the sleeve of my robes. 
“Oh deary.” She sighs and comes around to sit on the same couch as me, putting her hand around my shoulders and rubbing my arm comfortably. “And on top of all of it.” I sob. “I’ve got bloody boy problems.”
She lets out a laugh that breaks me from my train of thought. “I know it seems silly, given the rest of it, but really these boys are driving me mad.” I giggle a little, wiping the tears off my face, taking deep breaths to calm down. 
“I’m sorry to break it to you, but they never get better.” Professor Weasley smiles. “I didn’t think so.” I sigh. 
“Does one of these mad boys happen to be my nephew?” 
I blush, answering her question for her. “I can tell him to leave you alone if you wish.” She smiles kindly and I shake my head. “No! No- I think he’s actually quite... charming.” God was this awkward to talk about with his aunt. “But-”
“The Sallow boy?” She asks and my mouth drops open, I’m sure I look like a fish out of water. “How did you know that?!”
“As much as we try to act above it all the teachers do talk. We all thought you were...” She trails off and I shrug. “He doesn’t like me like that, and... he knows about my magic how I don’t always... act normally. It scares the Jesus out of him.” I sigh, “I can’t blame him.”
“I doubt that.” She sighs. I shake my head and stand up, looking at the time piece on her desk. I was already 5 minutes late for Charms. 
I wipe my face once more. “Thank you... for speaking with me.” I sigh, I don’t know fi I felt any better, but it was nice to get off my chest. 
The Professor waves her hand and a quill floats up, writing a note on a piece of parchment. “I don’t know how much I can help in the boy department, but let me know if you need help with any lessons, I’m always here. And I’m going to start looking for someone who might be able to help you with that ancient magic.” The note floats over to me and I grab it out of the air, just a pass for being late to class. 
I nod, thanking her once more before heading off to Charms. 
When I get to my class I slip the paper on the Professor’s desk and slip into my seat next to Ominis, Sebastian on his other side. I open my books and Sebastian leans over our friend. “You’ve been crying.”
I ignore him, now was neither the time nor place for this. “Bird talk to me.” He begs, leaning closer to Ominis. “Bird ple-”
“Sebastian I am trying to pay attention to this lesson can you PLEASE stop pretending I don’t exist.” Ominis groans, maybe a touch too loudly. 
“Sallow, Gaunt. Am I boring you?” The Professor asks, the entire class turning to look at us three. I try to hide my red, puffy face from the prying eyes. 
“No, sir.” The two answer at the same time. 
“Five points from Slytherin, more if you continue to ignore my lesson.” He scoffs and turns back to instructing the class. 
Thankfully, Sebastian drops it.
_________
taglist: @stuffyownswrld​ @findingtruenorth23 @flowered-bicycles @lumiiiiiiiiii
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trinaasworld · 22 days ago
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Angel of Aces: Chapter 2
“Fools in love”
I apologize about how long it's taking me to post these chapters but I'm currently balancing both school and work so my free time is quite limited. I'm trying my best to follow the plot of the musical/movie. Pushing the plot forward is a struggle but I'm trying my best to solidify the relationship dynamics before jumping into the true climax of the story ( Don juan scene, Phantom reveal...). Honestly, I'm not proud of this chapter but its...something, I guess.
Also no beta read so please ignore any spelling mistakes you see. :(((
The more you spoke with Angel the more sleep you lost and it quickly became visible to those around you. For the past week your shifts felt like an eternal loop of you dozing off at the bar and Raoul struggling to keep you awake by holding random conversations which did help you, despite the heavy feeling on your eyelids. Conversations with him were full of fun stories and recollecting shared memories from your childhoods, pushing the thoughts of Erik away for a little while.
But The Phantom noticed it all. He watched from the shadows, his face hidden behind the cards as his eyes bore holes into the back of your head. Raoul had captured something he longed for ever since he first laid eyes on you, which was your pure heart. And he wasn’t afraid to get hands dirty in order to possess it but he couldn’t do it just yet. You weren’t ready for him.
And the fact that the casino championship was quickly approaching only made your life more chaotic. Night after night there were intense games all around you. Some players got in fights, some fled the casino in the middle of a round. You couldn’t help but get curious and watch from a distance, slowly learning their tactics. It was a good idea for business, a downward spiral of mindless betting for weeks.
Meg insisted on the two of you having sleepovers to take stress off of your mind. Her apartment had become a safe space for you after your father’s death. Mrs. Giry, her mother, quickly took you under her wing and acted like a real parent, even as strict as she was.
“If that’s what you want..” Meg shrugged after you offered to play a quick card game
With a smile on your face you reached in your bag, pulling out a deck of cards. They were wrapped in a layer of wrapping paper. It wasn’t just any deck of cards like the ones in the stores. The cards were black with the suits and numbers painted in gold, giving them an elegant and unique look.
“Where did you get these from?” She gasped, reaching out to take a few of the cards and inspect them.
“Oh, I just found them on my doorway the other day.” You shrug, your face heating up at the memory of how you got the cards.
A week ago you went home expecting the same old sight of your lonely apartment but to your surprise there was something new. A gift was waiting on your doorstep. It was this neatly wrapped box…and a single red rose.
“Oh, don't tell me it's a gift!” She exclaimed, pulling you closer. Her eyes lit up with curiosity, wanting to know every little detail.
“Well, I don't know.. Maybe it's the wrong address for a delivery..” You brushed it off but there was a faint whisper in the back of your mind. What if it really was a gift? From Raoul perhaps? Or maybe…Angel? It couldn't be him, though. He doesn’t know where you live, does he?
You shook your head, silencing the thoughts and shuffling the cards for the game. The odd feeling of being watched loomed over you throughout the entire night.
Despite the worrying thoughts you still managed to win the game, using the same tactic you noticed Erik always wins with. Poker wasn't so hard after all…
Morning soon came and you fell into the loop of endless shifts once again. The qualifications for the championship were as chaotic as the practices, but this time you weren't so lost. You watched the different strategies each player used, taking mental notes.
When there were breaks between games you and Meg played quick casual games, betting candies instead of actual money. Every time you two played on the bar you couldn't help but feel stared at, not watched, stared. You were being studied. But each time you turned around no one was even glancing at your direction.
Once you got home you laid down, noticing the notifications on your phone. It has become a part of your routine to chat with Angel every night.
This time the message was odd. It was a file. Without a second thought you clicked on it, the file instantly downloading and opening.
As you read it you realized that it was quite literally the games you played with Meg being described. Each card your hand touched, each mistake you made, each move you played. Even your strategies were analyzed.
[“You always blink rapidly a few times when you have good cards.”]
[“Your finger twitches when you make a false bet.”]
[“Don't shake your legs so much, you always change the pace when you're thinking.”]
He went on and on, mentioning each and every little movement you subconsciously made. It was almost as impressive as it was creepy.
The document then had a few paragraphs with tips and tricks.
[“Be more aggressive with your moves.”]
[“Make more eye contact and stop repeating your bets. Make them seem random.”]
After reading the whole thing you entered the chatroom it was sent to, quickly typing out a reply.
Y/N:
“Why are you telling me this? Why are you stalking me?”
X:
“I can see potential in you, darling. You can be more than a waitress.”
Y/N:
“Are you always in the casino? Why didn't you approach me?”
X:
“You're not ready to meet me yet, little one, remember?”
Each time you asked Angel to reveal his face, which happened quite often, he would reject you in a similar way. He would always say that you weren't ready, that he didn't want to rush it, that looks don't mean anything if you truly love someone.
Y/N:
“It's getting disturbing. Please stop acting like this before I report you to the police.”
X:
“You're my student. I mean no harm. Your talent is my creation that I will shape into perfection. And when you have finally reached your peak, your most powerful state, that is when you’ll meet me, my dear.”
Y/N:
“How do I reach this peak you are talking about?”
X:
“Leave it to me. I have everything planned.”
You were both scared and captivated by the thrill he was offering. Your life had never been so exciting and you were getting drunk on the new feeling. It was a dangerous game you were playing but you couldn't deny how much you liked it. Such a sucker for pain you were. Fallen right into his trap, wrapped around his finger and just waiting to get crushed by his hands.
That night you couldn't sleep. Tossing and turning for an hour until you finally gave up and accepted your fate. You stared at your clock, watching the numbers switch every once in a while as you gathered up the energy to get up.
You filled the tub with warm water and poured soap in, hiding the surface under a layer of bubbles. Once the water surrounded your exposed skin your muscles relaxed as you sighed. It was as if a weight had been lifted off of your shoulders.
In that same moment you got unexpected company. Unexpected for you, planned for him. He unlocked the front door by jamming a handmade replica of your key into the hole. It was easy to get your key copied when you stay out for so long everyday. Poor thing…You surely were lucky that it was him breaking in and not someone else, someone who wants to hurt you.
He made sure to distribute his weight on each foot as he walked in, avoiding the parts that creaked. Good thing he studied your home, he thought. Without making any unnecessary sounds, he made his way into your bedroom only to find your bed empty. For a moment he got worried, his heart skipping a beat before he noticed the lights in the bathroom.
You gave him a perfect view of your side profile as you took a nap in the water. Your hair was wet and slicked back to reveal your beautiful face and delicate neck. Oh,how he loved your neck. He would do anything to just wrap a hand around it and feel your pulse quicken, feel how your blood moved under your skin. And your face…he could stare at it for hours. He could and would make a statue of your face just so your beauty got preserved in time.
The bubbles were like a blanket that covered you but he could still see your collarbone. He wanted to run his finger on the thin bone, so easily breakable. You were just so fragile. He didn't have a choice but to protect a birdie like you.
He inched closer and closer, the smell of you drawing him in. His mind was drunk on the thought of how vulnerable you were. The need to reach out made his skin crawl, it was driving him to the point of insanity. You made him forget about being a gentleman, the word “respect” disappeared from his dictionary. Such a minx you were, and you didn't even know it.
It took everything in his power to not follow his instincts.
You fell deeper and deeper into slumber, the realm of dreams welcoming you with open arms. The darkness of your eyelids became a world of its own. A warm breeze brushed against your skin before the image of a beach formed before your eyes. You were laying on a lounge chair with a cocktail in your hand. This trip was surely the best one you’ve had. Your loyal butler appeared next to you, bending down to speak in your ear.
“It's time for your massage, miss.”
The man went behind you and began to rub your shoulders, using his thumbs to ease the tension in your neck. A sigh rumbled in your throat but your lips were sealed. For a moment your eyes fluttered shut and when you opened them it was already getting dark. His hands were still on you, now massaging your head.
On the sand there were footprints that went nowhere. You glanced around and back at the track where now stood a figure. It was a tall shadow without a face. Despite it not having eyes it still stared down at you, now being held down by your butler.
“Y/N…Y/N..” The figure hummed quietly. You tried to break free from the grip he had on you but you were far too weak. The sun behind the figure began to set, painting the sky red.
Meanwhile, the man's hands were getting wetter and wetter as he caressed your sore shoulders. His grip on you tightened when you tried to turn, he couldn’t let you wake up just yet. His sleeping beauty.
You stared at the figure, completely hypnotized as it slowly morphed into a man. Not any man, Erik. The Phantom that haunted your mind. Erik loomed over you, casting a shadow upon your frozen body as he closed in the distance between you.
“My dear..” He whispered. You tried to move but just couldn't, the hands of your butler had turned into ropes that kept you tied to the chair. The rough texture scratched your exposed skin.
“You have to show them. Show them just how powerful you are. The power you hold is unbearable.” His voice was all around you.
His fingers crawled in your hair, tugging at the wet stands. Twist after twist he began to braid your hair as you snored quietly. The scent of your shampoo soaked into his skin, your locks sticking to his knuckles.
“E-Erik..” You called out, his name rolling off of your tongue even in your sleep. His heart stopped beating. His blood ran cold. For a split second all he could see was red.
Before he could stop himself he dunked your head in the water. His strong hands gripped your hair tightly and held you under the bubbles. You instantly snapped out of your dream and began to thrash in the water. You kicked and waved your hands around to save yourself but he was too strong.
The water began to floor your mouth, nose and ears. You were running out of air in your lungs as you screamed for help. Your movements made the water spill out of the tub and create a puddle on the floor. Some of the water landed on him, but his movements didn’t stutter the slightest.
“Help! Raoul!” You cried out in fear, screaming the first name that popped in your head at the thought of dying like this. Raoul wasn’t here, he wasn’t nowhere near but you still called out for him in hopes of the angels carrying your voice to him somehow.
The only thing your scream did was make the man become more rough. How could you call out for another man in his presence? After everything he had done for you…such a hopeless case you were. So blind for not seeing your perfect future with him. He’ll make you see it, make you experience it. He needed to clean your mind from the sins that were filling it. He needed to baptize you right here, right now.
He pushed you harder until the back of your head hit the bottom of the tub. And then there was no more pressure. No fingers were pulling on your hair, no hands wrapped around you. Complete silence, complete darkness. Your body floated up towards the surface as you gasped for air. The soap had caused your eyes to burn and your vision to become blurry. You took deep and quick breaths in an attempt to calm down your racing heart. There was no sign of anyone being here, no footprints and the door hadn’t moved. Your apartment was completely still, the only sound being your breaths. Maybe it was a dream, you thought. Maybe you had slipped down while sleeping. But when did you manage to…braid your hair?
You stood up,wrapping a towel around your wet body and rushed to the mirror. Your legs were still shaking from the fear you experienced so you had to hold yourself up on the counter. The mirror was fogged but you could still see your reflection, the way your cheeks were stained with tears and how red your eyes had gotten. Despite it all you were okay, no scars or anything like that…except your neck. On the side of your neck, right where your jugular pumped blood was a red mark. As if someone had dug their fingers into your soft flesh. As if a vampire had sucked your blood. Could a bug have bitten you? Could you have hit yourself while sleeping? You hadn’t let anyone get close to your neck in a long time, let alone leave a mark.
With fearful steps you made your way to your bedroom, checking if the front door was locked on the way. It was. But your worries didn’t stop there, what you found nearly made you scream.
On your bed there was a gift. A black box wrapped with a red ribbon that you certainly didn’t leave there. You quickly threw on some clothes and jumped in your car, driving to the safest place you could think of - Raoul.
You drove way above the speed limits but you didn't care. You needed him. Tears began to well up in your eyes and roll down your face, making your driving even more dangerous than it already was. After arriving you parked the car as fast as you could and rushed to his front door. Your fist crashed against the cold wood and echoed through the quiet night air.
The door swung open and the lights from inside blinded you for a moment. When you opened your eyes there he stood, Raoul. His hair was a mess and he had just a pair of sweatpants on. That was when you realized it was the middle of the night. Everyone except you was asleep. You and the intruder, that is.
Without a second thought you jumped forward, crashing with his chest. Tears began to pour from your eyes and for a moment you were thankful he didn't wear a shirt, it would’ve been a total mess if he did. Yes, the fact that he was half naked made this a bit awkward but you didn't care. And neither did he.
His hands wrapped around you, rubbing your upper back in an attempt to calm you down.
“Hey,hey,hey…it's alright. It’s alright.” He whispered, pulling you inside his home and closing the door. You tripped on your own feet but he was strong enough to hold your trembling body up.
“Raoul..” You sobbed quietly, muffled by his flesh.
“Shh…don't talk, Lotte.” Raoul knew it was for the best to not let you speak just yet. His heart ached at the sight of you in such a state but he was willing to let you cry it out first. One of his hands let go of your back and went up to wipe the tears off of your stained cheeks.
“Someone…someone was there.” You tried your best to speak in between sobs but it felt as if your throat was clogged. Your eyes looked up at him, noticing the soft expression on his face. It had an instant effect on you, making your heartbeat slow down.
“Someone was inside my home.” The words finally left your mouth and his face lost all its color. His smile morphed into a worried expression. He pulled back from you, checking for any visible wounds before speaking.
“What do you mean, Y/N? Did you see them? Are you hurt? We should call the police!” He slowly slipped into a state of panic, the urge to protect you clouding his mind.
Your lip trembled. His hands were digging into your soft flesh, leaving red marks on your skin as he shook you.
“I was..I was in the bath and I was under the water and there was a box on my bed..”
“A box? Lotte, are you sure you didn't leave it there?” He tried to explain your strange case with logic, giving you a weak smile. You wanted to believe his words, but you couldn't. What he was saying was far from the truth.
Your face hardened, getting slightly irritated by the fact that he thought you were dumb. Did he not trust you?
“I know I didn't leave it there, Raoul. Someone was inside my apartment.” You spoke, making sure he understood what you meant.
“Someone was there, he touched me, and that same person left the box on my bed.” Raul’s eyes widened at your statement, his breath hitching for a moment.
“He touched you?!” He exclaimed, anger brewing inside him. It was something he knew could happen, but prayed it wouldn't. The world was a cruel place.
“Spend the night here, Y/N. We’ll go back to your place tomorrow.” Raoul insisted, his urge to protect you growing stronger and stronger. You trusted him with your life, so you accepted his offer with no hesitation.
Throughout the evening he made sure you never thought about the intruder. The two of you made something to eat while watching a few episodes of the show you both liked, played a few quick games and when you finally felt tired it was time to sleep. He was kind enough to offer you his bed, knowing that it was for the best to not leave you alone.
You made yourself comfortable in his bed and waited for him to join you, which he didn't do. Raoul was preparing himself to go to sleep on the couch next room, refusing to disturb your peace with his presence. But you didn’t agree with him. You were the guest! If anyone was going to sleep on the couch it was going to be you but his bed was big enough to fit three people on it, so you didn't see a problem with sharing.
“Raoul, please.” A pout formed on your lips as you pat down the bed beside you. It was a trick you had up your sleeve that always worked on him. It made his heart melt, his protests crumbling down into dust. He sighed and made his way to the bed, tossing you the pillow that he was taking to the couch. His body weight made the mattress sink down, tilting your body towards him. The two of you had shared beds countless times when you were little so it wasn’t as awkward as you thought it would be. It felt more like reliving a shared memory.
The two of you were silent for a few moments, listening to the cars passing below his window. Some silence after such a long day felt good. Him being beside you also felt good. It has been such a long time since you shared a bed. Your body had almost forgotten the feeling of someone’s body warmth under a blanket. The dim lights around you made it even more calming, even more intimate.
You were laying on your side, face to face with Raoul, his warm breath fanning over your skin. But it wasn’t intimate, was it? You never felt intimate with Raoul, he was more like a brother after all. Comparing him to Erik he seemed like the perfect platonic partner, nothing more. He thought of you the same, right? You hoped he did.
“Tomorrow…I’m scared of what might be there.” You confessed with a quiet voice, feeling as if you are being watched by someone else who wasn’t Raoul. What if the man is still in your home when you come back? What if he waits for you to fall asleep to hurt you? Chills ran up your spine.
“Don’t be, Lotte. I’ll be with you.” He replied with a soft tone, reaching out to touch your hand gently. His touch was warm, his gaze even warmer as he stared at you with starry eyes. A contrast with the harsh touches of the mysterious guest.
At that moment, you felt hope. Pure and innocent hope that everything will be okay as long as he is here. Only he made you feel like this, feel truly appreciated and adored.
You didn’t realize when your eyes fluttered closed and didn’t open again, slowly falling asleep in his arms. He gave you more warmth than the blanket, his body was softer than the pillows under you. Oh, and his breathing…it was so rhythmic and calming like a melody just for your ears to hear. He was truly one of a kind, like your father would say.
Golden rays of sunshine creeped through the large windows in his room and landed right on top of your sleeping forms. You stirred awake, instantly feeling an unfamiliar weight on you. Slowly turning your head around you noticed how the two of you had slept. Raoul had wrapped his arms around your waist, resting his palms on your stomach. He had his face nuzzled in the crook of your neck, his breath fanning over your sensitive skin. For a moment you felt warm up on the inside, for a moment you blushed, for a moment you fell in love with him. But only for a brief moment before pulling away. At least you tried to pull away before his grip tightened around your body.
“A moment longer, please.” He whispered in a raspy voice, mind still hazy and slow. It wasn’t like his normal voice, it was more intimate, more passionate. His body pushed up against yours as he chased your comforting warmth.
“Raoul, come on..” You protested with a soft voice, a chuckle rumbling in your dry throat. If you stayed like this any longer you knew that the lines of your relationship would get blurred, more blurred than they already were. With one last tug you managed to break his grip, but he didn’t react. His hands still had their weight on your sides but he was giving you the freedom to get up…which you didn’t do. You weren’t ready to lose this feeling. With a sigh you turned around to face him, breathing in his scent as you hid your face by his neck like he did with you. He shifted his hands so they were on your upper back before pulling you even closer.
“You're safe, no one will find you here.” He comforted you, his gentle fingers tracing your spine. His voice did wonders when it came to chasing your worries away, like an angel.
The weight that had been looming over you for days now finally lifted, allowing you to breathe once again. Your heart calmed down, it's beating slowing for the first time since yesterday. It felt as if there was a bubble around the two of you. In that moment nothing else mattered, just you and him.
“Promise me that all you say is true.” You spoke into his skin.
“I promise.” That was all he needed to say to make you believe everything he was telling you. The snow outside began to pile up, the air got harsher but you stayed warm in his embrace for a couple more minutes. You couldn’t help but question what you two had become…surely this wasn’t something friends did. But could this one situation be the start of a relationship?
Slowly the two of you fully woke up and peeled away from each other, neither of you mentioning how the air was now filled with heavy tension. Neither one of you daring to admit that you liked it.
The look in his eyes was now different, more passionate. His eyes, once filled with innocence and love were now alluring and intense. It made your heart skip a beat.
But despite the change in him, Raoul was still Raoul. He got up before you and left the room in a hurry before coming back with two cups of warm coffee. The kind gesture warmed you up more than the drink, earning a smile from you.
“Thank you, Raoul.” You spoke softly, almost shyly.
“You're welcome, Y/N.” He replied and climbed into bed with you again. The two of you sipped on your coffee lazily, making some small talk but not mentioning the way you woke up. Soon the conversation spiraled into you worrying about the gift that awaited you back at home.
Raoul drove you home, insisting that he came with you just in case.
The box was left like it was yesterday, untouched in the middle of your bed. You felt your heart drop. While you struggled to calm your heart down Raoul began to unbox it.
His hands ripped through the layers of wrapping paper. It felt like deja vu, it felt like you were watching yourself from days ago when you got that deck of cards. The paper was exactly the same, the way it was wrapped too. Even the bow was the same. Underneath the layers there was a letter and what seemed like…a dress. Raoul took the letter while you pulled out the dress.
It was a beautiful black dress, a unique gown that would fit your body perfectly. The black fabric had glitter in it that reflected the light perfectly, not too much but also not too little. Around the collar there were tiny details that only the one wearing it would see. You had never seen a dress like this before, let alone wear one. The fabric felt soft against your skin,the whole dress was almost as light as a feather. After you got done with inspecting the dress you returned your attention to Raoul, who had a scared expression on his face. Something you never wanted to see on his face. His fingers were trembling as he clutched the paper.
“Raoul?” You whispered, dropping the dress without hesitation and approaching him.
He couldn’t speak. He just looked at you with those fearful, worried eyes that made your heart drop. You walked around him and read the letter from over his shoulder…realizing that he had every right to be scared.
“Y/N, darling, I’ve got news for you.
Your loyal angel and teacher, me, arranged a game just for you. I managed to clear out a table just for you, I even chose who you’ll play against- Carlotta
You’ll do amazing, little one. Wear the dress I got you and you’ll be the brightest star there.
Carlotta is way too full of herself, someone has to bring her back down on Earth and that will be you.
If you don't do it, I’ll be quite upset and that's not something you want to see.
See you tonight, Y/N.”
Your heart sank even lower than it already was, your blood went cold. The letter made your fight of light response kick in. It was the first time you’ve ever been this scared in your life. Your mouth went dry and a cold drop of sweat ran down your back. The hairs on the back of your neck stood up. You felt like a deer in the headlights and the person behind the wheel was only speeding up more and more. Right when the big truck was going to hit you a pair of arms pulled you out of its way. Raoul pulled you into a tight hug but you couldn’t return the gesture. You stood still in his embrace, not even his warmth could snap you out of the anxious thoughts.
His scent, so sweet and nostalgic, slowly filled your lungs and made you relax little by little. A single tear rolled down your cheek, a drop of true fear for your safety. Your Angel had turned into a Phantom that haunted you even in your own home, a ghostly voice that whispered in your ear even when you slept.
Raoul’s whispers were the opposite of Angel’s. He whispered comforting words, promising to protect you. He promised to catch this angel of yours but for that to happen you had to play tonight…play and give it your all. And while you play he will sneak in the security guards and catch him. Then it will all be over, it all depends on you.
He handed you the dress, his eyes filled with hope and encouragement for you. His fingers caressed your hair and a soft smile tugged at his lips.
“You can do it, Lotte. It all ends tonight.”
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bi-hop · 4 months ago
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I keep staring at the tags in that last post I reblogged. it's not horror I'm feeling or shock, it's just unsurprised rage
you make a post about the need for the abolishment of a force that multiple organizations (which include the NAACP) cite as having its modern roots in slave patrols and nonblacks dismiss it as a distraction, as if it's the fault of Black people that the attention economy is so limited that platforming multiple connected issues at once is 'too hard' for some people
a quick Google search turns up multiple articles explaining how US cops train with and learn from their Israeli counterparts, with crowd control being a key element in said education. where do we often see concentrated violence and police brutality in the name of 'crowd control'? do I need to spell it out for you?
you make a post about how antiblack violence and police brutality is warped into a spectacle by white people as a form of voyeurism in the name of awareness and you immediately get people going "it's only some of us" and otherwise nitpicking the language used. as if the language is the problem and not the fact that our corpses are always on display and our bodies are always subject to a level of scrutiny and dehumanization, regardless of if we're alive or not. is it really so hard to understand how this is all a connected problem? who gets to live? who gets to live with dignity? who gets to die well? who gets to mourn without the burden of judgment?
my first year at my university, I had to sit out of a lesson that went into lurid detail about the trial concerning the murder of Travyon Martin. I thought I could handle it, but just reading some abridged transcripts brought back all of the terror and sorrow of watching that man get declared not guilty. not even a few months later after the verdict, my brother got stalked by a new neighbor and stopped going on walks for a year. my teacher apologized but also spoke of the 'value' of it all. this last year, before graduation, cops tore down our encampment, established by Palestinian students and their allies, in the middle of the night. they did nothing about people filming those involved to slander them or the physical assaults Zionists from off campus directed against everyone involved. suddenly, the academic value of the history of protest is gone. we received constant emails calling the encampment a violent act against our school. it barely took up much of the quad.
but sure. all of this is disconnected and in a hierarchy to boot. everything is in its neat little vacuums. don't talk about climate justice. don't talk about police brutality. discuss genocide, but only in abstractions and never when it'll jeopardize the political agenda you have going on. never actually look the people suffering in the face, but don't look away. I'm sick of you all for real
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tinrange · 1 year ago
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i think i’m a little confused by your wording (i just woke up so i apologize for that it’s probably my fault) but you’re saying the people that think ray is just using sand as another addiction are annoying right (unless that’s not what you’re saying then you can just ignore this lmao). it irritates me because i feel like ep 9 in specific proved anything but that. i think people hold onto the ideas and the way the relationships were from the beginning of the show and refuse to see them as anything else? like yes, ray was using sand to fill a void at first just like top was using mew as a new experience that he wasn’t serious about and just like how boston didn’t see nick as anything but a fuck buddy. these relationships started one way and have grown from that so it’s annoying to see them still be reduced as to what they were originally so far into the show.
and for people that continue to go on about what the narrative is saying they’re certainly missing the narrative of last episode that sand believes he’s not important to ray and that it’s just lust and his feelings aren’t serious and him expressing that multiple times in the episode only for ray to prove him wrong. they had sand say he wouldn’t drive up there for 2 hours in the middle of the night and say that he’s not important enough for it and say it’s only lust so sand could be proven wrong. sand also clearly wanted him to show that type of dedication (even though yes it was ray crossing boundaries). it was spelled out for people …..
https://www.tumblr.com/tinrange/730865004283330560/its-like-some-people-have-forgotten-the-phrase
YOU GET ITTTT yes exactly. People's perception of Ray really hasn't moved past the character introduction, hes still just the drunkard to them. Even the way lots of people talk about him healing and going to rehab has become inexplicably tied to becoming 'deserving' of sand instead of focusing on the painful process that recovery would be for him and all he would have to endure.
It honestly feels like most people lack empathy for Ray that they extend to a majority of other characters, there's a dangerous lack of awareness in the ideas being peddled and they betray so many people's subconscious views on addiction.
Ray has spent episodes on episodes reaching out to sand, listening to sand, and giving parts of himself to sand freely. Hes been kind and loving to him in numerous ways but there's a notion that he cant be in love through that addiction and that hes warped beyond belief. Its honestly sad to see.
Addiction changes you, but it is not a personal failing its a disease and one where recovery is possible, seeing people dismiss all his actions and his care as misplaced addictive tendencies strips him of his autonomy and i cant stand it!!
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sawyer-is-not-my-name · 1 year ago
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Ominis Gaunt x G/N! Reader
cw: anxiety, hl spoilers, a shared trauma, blood
synopsis: reader escapes their trauma in a way Ominis isn’t to keen on
Your fingers rapped at the door nervously, you pulled your hand back placing it back on the strap of your bag. Your heart seemed to be pounding out of your chest, you wanted to turn around and head home but it was too late. The door swung open, revealing your disheveled looking husband. Despite lacking site he knew if was you, “Darling, what happened?” His voice calming your anxiety, “why were you out in the rain… you reek of blood- it’s not your right?!?”
You bowed your head “not all of it” you responded, he grabbed your hand tugging you into the warmth of the house. He cast a spell lighting some candles, not for him but for you, so caring in that way. He pulled a chair put for you getting a rag and getting to work assessing the damage. Scars had seemed to collect on your skin since your fifth year, the spots only reminding you of the darkest years of your life.
You flinched as his fingertips met your skin “sorry” “sorry” the words fell from both your lips at the same time, small laughs accompanying it.
When he finished patching you up, he sighed waiting for your explanation. “What was it this time?” you bit your lip, you hated worrying him with your problems. You knew after everything your fifth year, you weren’t the only one suffering from the trauma. You just couldn’t seem to cope with it, everything you tried wasn’t working despite it being five years since.
“You left without even leaving me a sign to where you were! What if you never made it home? What would I do then?” A tear fell down your cheek as you looked down. “I’m sorry, I didn’t want to worry you.” he remained stone faced at the response.
“I need you to tell me, whats going on in that brilliant mind of yours, dove.” His hands reached out to yours gently clasping over them. “The nightmares are back.” your voice was small, but he heard you. He hadn’t known the past was still haunting you as much as it was him.
“You too?” you just nodded allowing him to pull you into him. “why don’t we try something?” you looked up at him nodding into his chest. “I know you wanted to just pretend it didn’t happen, but what if instead we talk about what happened, just to each other. Just you and me, dove. If it doesn’t work we’ll stop but let’s just try it for the sake of trying something different.” You weren’t sure it was going to work but for him you’d try it.
—time skip—
you awoke to the sun coming in through the curtains hitting your face, and your lovers fingers tracing your features. “Morning, dove. How did you sleep?” You smiled into the hand that was on your cheek, “a lot better than I used to.” He pressed a kiss into your lips a smile gracing both pf your faces.
Six months since you’d had a nightmare, your trauma no longer held you captive. You spent your nights in the blonds arms, no longer leaving him in the middle of the night. His fears finally being quieted by knowing you were safe at night and not fighting poachers god knows where.
“Can we go back to sleep now?” he laughed lightly, “I already let you oversleep,” hugged the man above you, “but I’m so comfy and I don’t want to move” he groaned before finally giving in agreeing to give you another five minutes, which of course turned into and hour.
—-
i know that took longer than usual to get something out but i keep getting sick so i apologize. Lifes been a little hectic as of late and my priorities are health and school so its a little difficult at the moment to post, but im trying! love yall
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eternalera · 3 months ago
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HI PUP!!!!!
how are things??? hope they be doing well for you.
My orcastreh starts back up in like 2 weeks, so excited for that (i can never spell orchestra help)
Also!! I began watching a new anime! Who knows how long i'll watch this one for (i have a bad habit of quitting them) but it's called 'Welcome to Demon School! Iruma-kun'! It's super cool, and mostly just slice of life lol. Dude gets sold to a demon and becomes his grandson, and now goes to a school for demons.
His relationship with his two best friends apparently is super sweet in later chapters (they actually are a trio instead of like a friendship cornor). 'pparently he calls them both his 'soulmates' several times so O.o
Unfortunately the Anime isn't even close to being caught up with the manga so if i DO finish it i'll have a bit of reading to do lol
Anyways! how are you? watched anything good? writing going okay? school not being completely shit?
that sounds like fun! honestly i might have to watch that new anime lol. might be fun! as for how my day is going- uh its pretty shit
i woke up to my dad screaming and noticing that my dog was dead so that was something. then i noticed that they let him stay outside for the night because he was sick and puking so they thought that he had a stomach bug. why is this important to how im feeling? because in the middle of the night i got up twice to the sound of whimpering the first time i assumed it was the neighbors dog second time i assumed that my brother left the dog outside of his room (they sleep in the same room) so i looked out, saw nothing, and assumed that he was in my brothers room.
but nope he was outside and im hating myself for not actually investigating what the sound was. because im a fucking idiot and my dog died alone and probably scared out of his fucking mind and i couldnt do shit about it because im stupid as hell and didnt investigate the damn sound
best part, we dont know what killed him, so we drove 2 hours somewhere to drop him off for an autopsy and 2 hours back to our house. i know people will be like 'its not your fault your dog died' but i think thats such bullshit because like-
if i found him i wouldve at least let him in, i wouldve woken my dad up and conviced him something was wrong, i wouldve at least stayed with him until the end to comfort him. but nope! none of that happened because apparently i couldnt be bothered to actually investigate the sound.
and the worst part is that he showed no signs that he was sick. he was energetic and just the other day when i got home he was bouncing up and down. AND my eyes burn from crying and my throat is sore from sobbing and apologizing to my dog for not getting up and going downstairs to see what was going on- anyways sorry for venting lol
uhh but anyways i got starbucks on the way back from the two hour drive! also all ive eaten is half a blueberry scone from said starbucks and im not even hungry!!
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dabbles-in-drabbles · 7 months ago
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Forgiveness and Vengeance
Summary:
Andan knew her end would come, she had made peace with that. She knew exactly how she was going to die, and she knew it would not be at the hands of Mindflayers.
She was infected, survived the shipwreck, and defeated the goblins. All this with strangers watching her back, and a vampire watching her neck.
If she was to die, she knew she at least lived her life how she wanted to, even with all of the unexpected twists.
Pairing: Astarion x Tav
Tav: Andan, Oath of Vengeance Paladin
Chapter 8: Truths
Andan was awoken in the middle of the night to the sound of quiet shuffling. Blearily glancing around revealed Astarion was sitting up, arms bent in a way for his finger to trace the scars on his back. He was mumbling softly, making it so she could not hear him.
“Astarion..? Is everything alright?”
“Shit- yes, Dani, just fine.”
It took a few more seconds for Andan to wake up completely, to fully see what he was doing. Fingers desperately trying to trace the symbols.
“Astarion…”
He let loose a harsh sigh, whipping his head back with an annoyed look, “I’m fine.”
She raised a brow at him, “Do you need help?”
He turned away, going quiet for a few seconds. A great sigh released from him as he slumped over. He shot back up, sitting straight for a second before slowly hunching his shoulders in again. 
“Yes… please.”
She got up on her knees, crawling over. She grabbed a spare sheet of parchment, a love letter printed on the front half of it that she loved to read from time to time. She turned it over to the blank side and set about sketching it out ever so carefully with a piece of charcoal.
Astarion was quiet, his ears flickering with every scratch on the parchment. He did not move until Andan moved to sit in front of him, parchment in hand. He glanced down, eyes widening as he took in the sketch.
“What… what is this?” “Definitely not a poem. It's infernal, though… Karlach may be able to translate-”
“- No. ”
Andan jumped, looking up at him. Momentarily he looked upset, then ever so briefly shocked. Astarion shut his eyes tight, lowering his chin to his chest.
“I don’t want anyone else to know… please, Andan.”
She gave a small nod, staying there with him in silence. Hesitantly, she placed her hand out with an open palm. A silent apology.
His head raised ever so slightly, looking at her open hand. He placed his hand in her own with little hesitation. His hand encased her own, squeezing.
Their eyes met after a moment. She gave him a small smile, her other hand coming up to hold the back of his head as he leaned forward to rest on her shoulder.
“We can try to find books on reading infernal… if not then we can explore other options.”
Astarion was quiet for a moment before speaking once more, “We’ll see, darling.” Nothing else was said for the rest of the night.
-
They all saw it, even Gale and Shadowheart piped up with a warning before the rest of them.
Necrotic magic, undead. Nothing they have not dealt with before. One way or another, they had to get through, there was a Creche in these mountains. Either they would get through or Lae’zel would kill them all herself.
Gale and Wyll were flinging spells, Astarion was picking off the lone ghouls, Shadowheart was making sure people weren’t going to die. Karlach was running in head first with Lae’zel at her side. It was certain that they were going to win until she noticed the undead that had fallen were starting to rise back up. 
The paladin combed the path, catching sight of a giant of a glowing skeleton carrying a reaper’s scythe. She watched for a moment as it continued to bring back the recently fallen undead. Her decision made, she dashed forward, ignoring the few claws that managed to snag her armor, one managing to rip her helmet off as she dashed her way through the battlefield. 
Sword raised, the shining blade singing with holy light as she brought it down onto the Death Shepherd. She let a smirk grace her face as she heard its shriek, the monster turning its attention towards her completely. 
Words echoed through her head, one of the first lessons Hilor had ever spoken to her, ‘Heed your surroundings in battle, Andan. You may think the battle is won, but there is always a chance of loss until you are all that stands.’
She did not see the second Death Shepherd. She did not see the scythe as it cut upward, catching her in the gut. She could barely hear the shouting, someone screaming her name. Pain began to erupt once more in her abdomen, and then her chest.
Images began to blur until it all went dark. The last thing she remembered seeing was a clash of red and white.
It was dark, flashes of memories from her childhood. The cold, the hunger, the loneliness. She saw a gauntleted hand reach out towards her, gold against the gray streets of the Gate. Safety. Andan remembered reaching her hand out towards it, then her chest began to hurt, her lungs gasping for air. Her vision was flitting between the golden gauntlet and an old withered hand.
Then her eyes finally opened, only to shut tight as she was blinded.
“Andan!”
“Fucking hells she’s up-”
“Say something, my friend, please-”
She took deep breaths, her chest wracked with pain. She cracked her eyes open this time, seeing the afternoon sun cresting the mountains. She spat out the blood in her mouth, not caring that it hit her armor.
“Still alive,” she let a grin grace her features, attempting to crack a joke.
“No, you weren’t.”
She looked up at the voice, meeting the wet gaze of Astarion. He had her head in his lap, hands on either side of her face. He was covered in black blood, face smeared in a way that looked like he had tried to rub it off. His normally immaculately distressed hair looked like it had been put through a den of rats.
“Astarion…”
“No, no. You fucking died , Andan. You ran ahead by yourself, and we couldn’t get to you in time with the scrolls. Withers is the only reason why we were even able to bring you back." 
She blinked up at him. He looked pissed, but beneath that she could see how terrified he was. Terrified that it had happened, and terrified that it had scared him so much.
She gave him the smallest of smiles, “I’m sorry… I won’t do it again.”
He looked surprised for a second before settling on a stern look, “You fucking better not.”
“I’ll second that- the fuck were you thinking, Dani?” Karlach pipped in, leaning over to block out the Sun.
“Uhm…” the half elf paused, furrowing her brows to remember, “I think something was bringing the Ghouls back. I ran up to try to disrupt it, but I didn’t see the second one… was in my blindspot.”
“How about this, Dani.. let the ranged attackers get the ones that are through a horde of undead, yes?”
She felt a small chuckle wheeze through at that, “I’ll agree with you on that, Wyll.”
Shadowheart shook her head, “Just because you know how you’ll die doesn’t mean you can be reckless. We’re all in this together whether we like it or not, and we can’t have you dying on us. Again.”
“I’ll be more careful.”
Halsin approached, hands glowing with healing magic. There was silence as he healed what wounds she had left. Astarion stood by her, offering support as she slowly got to her feet. Andan smiled at her companions, giving them a thumbs up as she successfully stood.
“All better, now.”
Halsin placed a hand on her shoulder, “Excellent. Are you hungry, my friend?”
The growl of her stomach seemed to answer that. There was an amused look from the druid.
“I’ll take that as a yes. Sit and rest- the food will come to you.”
Andan spoke no other words, letting her feet carry her over to the fire. Once she sat down, she could hear the soft sound of Astarion’s tsking to her left.
“Yes, my dear?”
“You’re still in your armor.”
She blinked, looking down at the bloodied cloth and chainmail, “... so I am.”
“That you are.”
There was a small tap on one of the fastenings at her shoulder. She felt a small smile creep onto her face, giving a small nod. Seconds later she felt Astarion begin to release her person from her armor. He was mumbling minor obscenities the entire time, only breaking his tangent to ask her to bend over so he could slip the chainmail off.
By the time he had laid everything out for Gale to cast prestidigitation to clean it off, Halsin had finished dinner, setting it in her hands.
“Thank you, Halsin.”
He said nothing, a small smile gracing his lips.
The bowl was warm in her hands, a thick soup consisting of potatoes and cheese. It smelled delicious, and as much as her stomach begged her to eat it she was nauseous. She took small bites, taking her time.
“How are you feeling, soldier?”
Andnan glanced up at Karlach, a smile on her lips, “Better, thank you… Thank all of you, actually.” 
“What for, Dani?” Wyll raised his brow, turning his head towards her.
The paladin gestured to herself, “For making sure I didn’t, well… stay dead.”
“Of course! I don’t know where we’d be without you, Dani.” the beaming grin from Karlach stayed until she leaned down to whisper into her ear, “Especially Astarion- you should’ve seen him the moment you went down.”
Andan raised her brow at the Tiefling, matching her tone “Is that so?”
“Mmhmmm,” Karlach smirked, glancing over at where Astarion was going through the paladin’s hoard of books, grumbling all the while, “all hissing and spitting. Shadowheart has to stop him from running in after you.” The half-elf hummed softly, keeping her gaze on the vampire. Otherwise, she kept quiet, letting Karlach giggle about the pale rogue.
“Helloooo- Mama K to Dani, are you there?”
Andan snapped out of it, blinking back to focus, “Oh- yes?”
“Did you hear my question, Dan?”
“Oh… sorry, no. Can you please repeat it?” She hated how red her face was.
The barbarian gave her a smirk, “Oh, I’m sorry- was I interrupting your fangy thoughts?”
She scowled at the red tiefling, “Your question, Karlach.”
The taller woman burst into laughter, drawing the attention of everyone else in camp, “I was askin’ about you- you didn’t seem too worried about that fight, I was just guessin’ that, that fight wasn’t it.”
It took Andan a moment to understand what Karlach meant. “Wasn’t it”? What does she mean by that- oh. Her death. Everyone was silent now, listening to what she would say next. The half-elf took a bite of her food before answering.
“No.”
“Good! You’re not allowed to like- actually stay dead until we’re done with this, at least.”
Andan let a smile slip onto her face, “Neither do I, nor do I plan on letting the rest of you pass on, either.”
Conversation returned to the camp, allowing the half-elf to finish her meal with minimal speaking. Feeling eyes on her, she looked up to catch Halsin’s gaze. There was a spark of worry in them, their previous conversation from several days ago coming back to her.
“Your death- it’s coming isn’t.”
“The signs have been there for a bit now. It’s been hard to ignore it.”
“I assume you’re not going to tell me exactly what it is, are you, my friend?”
“At least you can respect that boundary, unlike others.”
Briefly, she did think the last thing she was going to see was the undead. Briefly, she did not think she was going to open her eyes again.
Her eyes glanced at Astarion out of habit, spending a second to watch him finally choose a book and saunter over to her. Seconds before the vampire reached her, her gaze found Halsin’s again, watching his own eyes widen. Something seemed to click in his gaze, an almost morbid understanding reflecting there.
She gave him a small, sad smile before turning her gaze to the book Astarion cracked open as soon as he sat down. “Volo's Guide to Spirits and Spectres” . An interesting read, but she knew he preferred the informational books over her own fictional ones. 
She sat there with Astarion in silence while the rest chattered away. She could feel Halsin’s gaze on her as he wrote in his journal, undoubtedly writing his private thoughts on the matter. She felt the familiar gaze of Withers, and knew he would keep watch over them as the sun began to slowly descend behind the mountains.
Andan let her head rest against Astarion, her eyes falling heavy as sleep began to take her.
When she opened her eyes again, she was back in Candlekeep. Her belly, full for the first time in what felt like eternity, and body jittery with nerves. She was treated with kindness and then left alone in the temple. In a city she had never been to. Thoughts raced through her little head. What if this is all a trick and he’ll sell me? I can’t steal for the rest of my life. Is he going to kill me? I thought he said he would make me a paladin. Was it all a lie? Is he going to sacrifice me to some demon? 
Her childish thoughts were interrupted by a gentle, gauntleted hand on her shoulder. Her heterochromic gaze whipped up to the much taller, older elf. Gentle gold eyes and long blond hair that looked to be starting the process of graying.
“Be at ease, my child. You are safe here, you will still live, yet.”
“How do you know that?” Andan’s voice sounded oh so childlike, so young. So scared.
He stooped down to her level, the smile grew somber ever so slightly, “I can see how people will die. And your death will not be here.”
“... and how will I die, Ser Hilor?”
“Do you truly want to know, child?”
Andan thought for a moment before finally answering, “Yes.”
Hilor was quiet for a moment before he spoke at last, “Andan, dear child, your death shall be this: ‘A vampire shall be the reason for thy passing’.”
Her face scrunched up, “Vampires don’t exist, so I’ll never die.”
He let out a sad chuckle, “They do, young one. But I pray you will not meet anytime soon, they can be selfish creatures.”
Fear tickled through her. Maybe coming here was a bad idea after all-
“Do not let my words hinder you, Andan. Take it as a warning. Do not let fear guide your life. Live it how you want. If you wish to hunt down vampires, then you can. If you want to stay away from them, then who am I to stop you.”
“... how is the vampire going to kill me?”
A sad smile came to his aged face, “I do not know, dear child. You could be enemies, it could be a mistaken identity, it could all be an accident.”
Her gaze fell to the ground, fear wracking her body. She did not like that one bit, but her ten-year-old brain did cling onto one thing. Live life how she wanted to. I’ve almost died so many times from hunger, fighting others for scraps. What’s one more danger of death?
The dream came to an end, allowing Andan to truly open her eyes. She was inside her tent now, a cold presence next to her. Turning onto her side, she looked at her bed companion. Astarion was on his back, trancing. A book was laying neatly in his lap, and he looked at peace. 
Dead.
Hilor’s words began to swirl in her mind again.
“A vampire shall be the reason for thy passing.”
The older she grew, the less she had thought of it. It would hit a point her social life was plagued with the fear of vampires, merely speaking the name was going to suffocate her. But, in all this time she had never met a vampire. All the way up till now.
A smile graced her lips, leaning in closer to him. If he knew what it was, it could turn out two different ways. He could be indifferent and brush it off as passing information. Given how Karlach said he had acted earlier when she went down, Andan did not think this would be the case.
I can’t tell him. I can’t let him know.
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willowwhispersspeakeasy · 3 years ago
Note
Howdy do~! I’ve got a fluff/angst headcanon in mind: Riddle, Leona, Azul and Jamil's fem! s/o suddenly wakes up screaming in the middle of the night because of a traumatic nightmare of them Overblotting. As she wakes up, she tearfully tells them she’s scared of losing them a second time. How do they comfort her? Please and thanks!
"ooo more hurt-comfort bittersweet I see~ y'all already know my favorite hehe~" -Onyx, the bartender
twst! mc's overblot nightmare
characters included: Riddle Rosehearts, Leona Kingscholar, Azul Ashengrotto, Jamil Viper
warnings: ended up being gender neutral since no pronouns for mc were used, established relationship
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Riddle
hes huffy about sleep schedules, but once he sees how torn up you are his worry about it goes out the window. comforting people in emotional destress isn't his strong suit, but he will make you some tea to help calm your nerves.
Riddle won't push you to tell him about your nightmare, but when you admit to him it was about him overblotting a feeling of shame crawls up his spine. hes distraught you are frightened by him, and he deeply regrets putting you through that.
once he realizes that it isn't that you were frightened by him, and rather that you were frightened for him, fearful of loosing him, he is speechless. hes not a particularly touchy individual but he absolutely tackles you in a hug. he will coo and rub your back, promising you never have to be frightened of that again.
he will work to take better care of himself, to insure his own safety, and you peace of mind.
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Leona
hes displeased at being woken up, especially by his favorite pillow screaming in terror. Leona's ears twitch while he surveys the immediate area, insuring you are not in any immediate danger. its only when he hears your sniffled apologies he realizes you simply had a nightmare.
like Riddle he won't ask that you tell him. instead the beastman will sigh, flopping back down and pulling you into his chest. usually he sleeps curled up beside you or laying on you in some way, but tonight he tucks you away against him, curling around you protectively.
when you confess your nightmare was of his overblot, it leaves a bitter taste on his tongue. he will listen as you continue that you were so frightened, of loosing him again. Leona will sigh, chiding you for worrying so much.
you'll be lulled back to sleep after he cleans up your tears, rough tongue gentle against your cheeks.
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Azul
hes disoriented by your panicked scream. probably flails for his glasses, presuming there is some unknown danger present in the room. once you have calmed down, and his glasses are fixed on his nose, he realizes that you only had a nightmare.
he will pressure you to tell him what it was about, and when you tell him it was him overblotting he slinks in on himself. poor thing is almost as upset as you are, knowing it was him who was the monster of your nightmare.
his head starts racing, his insecurities bubbling up and into his throat. you'll have to cup his cheeks and inform him that no, he wasn't the monster. the part that frightened you was the thought of loosing him.
Azul will hold you tight, his own tears staining your night shirt. for once he wishes he was in his true form, just so he could wrap you up tight and safe in all of his arms.
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Jamil
also assumes the worst once hes awoken by your scream. a spell is at the ready in one hand and a knife gripped tight in the other as he bolts upright. it only takes him a second to scan the room and determine that there was no present danger after all.
that's when he turns his attention to you. he hides his present annoyance and instead focuses on getting your breathing to calm down. when you are calm enough to explain it was a nightmare he relaxes.
he will only ask if you want to talk about it. when you admit to him that your nightmare was about his overblot you will get the rare sight of seeing him flinch. you are quick to explain, while trying in vain to wipe your tears, that you were frightened of loosing him again.
Jamil will look away for a moment, guilt heavy on his shoulders, before pulling you in for a hug. he will admit his feels about everything to you, learning from his past mistake of bottling everything away. never again will he let it get that far.
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wreckofawriter · 3 years ago
Text
better
pairing: regulus black x evans!reader
word count: 3.3k
warnings: swearing, angst, make out scene
request by: @upchurch-funk
summary: being a muggleborn dating Regulus meant you had to keep it a secret. When your older sister finds out she raises fear of heartbreak in both of you
♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~
    You and your sisters had been born jealous. Petunia turned to envy first as the attention that had been solely given to her was split between two other daughters. She had always been bitter towards you and Lily, never forgiving you for interpreting her perfect young life.  She had taken your things, broken your toys and ripped your clothes trying to punish you for being born and turning her from an only child to the eldest.
    Lily was next when she realised she wasn't the only one who could sprout fire from her fingertips. She had accused you of faking your magic for years, doing everything she could to best you even if she never fully understood her powers herself. Luckily she outgrew this jealous fit and by the time you shared a cabin on your way to Hogwarts she was beaming ear to ear. 
    It was you who was last to realise what the burn in your chest really meant. The feeling came heavy like thick rain drops as you watched your sister fall so effortlessly in love. Each time she gave James a quick hug or leaned onto his shoulder your eyes narrowed, fury irrationally rising in your throat. 
    This wasn’t because you wished James was yours instead. In fact you had considered him an idiot since you met him and would have rather drown yourself than date the loud mouth fool. You were instead jealous of the simplicity of their relationship. Envious of how they could be carefree, how they could dream of picket fences and happy futures. You hated that they could still be stupid kids. How they were given the freedom to make out in hallways and sneak into eachothers dorms with their worst consequence being a slap on the wrist and week of detention. Nothing hurt more than watching your sister live a simple life you knew you never could. 
    You stared across the room locking eyes with Regulus for only a brief moment before his darted away. Charms was dreadfully boring, the lecture practically putting you to sleep, you knew you should have been paying attention, but watching the younger Black perform the spell with ease was far more interesting. The flick of his wrist was an addicting, dull look in his eyes far more attractive than it should have been. He had woken up late that morning, his hair messier than usual. You thought it looked adorable, the way a few strands drooped in front of his lashes. He only got cuter as he blew them from his face with a pout. 
    “You have a staring problem.” Levi muttered from beside you. 
    You rolled your eyes, “Do you ever mind your own business?” 
    “Please, you make your thing for Black everyone's business.” He muttered and you kicked him under the desk. 
    Cussing at you he glared, leaning down to massage his bruising shin. 
    You wondered briefly how he would have reacted to the reveal of your relationship with your “hopeless crush” as he liked to call it. The surprise on his face would have been sweet as honey. 
    Regulus was watching you now as you continued to talk to your desk mate, he had never liked the boy, call it jealousy or anger, something bitter always rose in his throat when he saw you with him. Maybe it was because he knew your life would be so much easier if you had loved him instead. 
    “I don’t get what you see in him anyway.” Levi said, looking across at Regulus whose eyes had quickly retreated back to his parchment. 
    You grew brittle at the statement.
    “I mean I know he's attractive but if it's really about looks why not go for his brother?” He grumbled.
    You scoffed, “Please, Sirius is a piece of work.” 
    “And he isn't? I’m surprised he hasn’t called you a slur yet.” 
    Rage bubbled in your stomach, your chest feeling hot, “Shut up.” 
    Levi was either oblivious to the anger set in your tone or unbothered by it “I mean really y/n, you have a crush on a purist? It's sickening.” 
    You screwed your eyes shut in an attempt to stop the hot tears building behind them. You wanted to scream at him, slap him across the face and shout how Regulus would never do such a thing. You wanted to tell him how wrong he was, make him regret ever speaking such cold words.  But instead you looked away, wiping your tears as they came while your boyfriend sat across the room pretending you didn't exist. 
   
    You were used to it, you knew as a muggleborn dating a pureblood from a family like his would never be easy but the words still stung. That night you sobbed into Regulus’s chest as he held you in your usual hidden courtyard. 
    As your tears soaked through his sweater he felt nothing but the cold grip of guilt. He had never meant to fall in love. He had known it was a mistake the second it had happened. Even now he knew he had been wrong and stupid and naive to let himself feel so deeply for someone he could never truly be with. He would never forgive himself for forcing you into the hellish life he lived with a simple confession. He hated himself every day for it, he didn't deserve to indulge in his emotions knowing it would cause you nothing but pain. He didn't deserve you and he had known that from the start. 
    Yet every night you met, kissing under the pale moon until your lips grew numb. Everynight he found himself falling deeper and deeper into you until you filled his dreams and nightmares alike. So he forced you closer to him, knowing he would cause nothing but hurt. And you were so childishly in love you let him. 
    Later as you lay asleep on his chest, legs tangled beneath a blanket he let his own tears go, silent apologies dripping down his cheek as he tightened his grip on your waist. 
    Lily watched you from where she sat at her table, green eyes narrowed as she tried to read your mind across the dining hall. 
    “Something is definitely off.” She mumbled turning to James who stared at her with a  dopey grin. “You haven’t been listening to a word I said have you?” 
    “How can I when you’re so beautiful?” He murmured back and she scoffed, face darkening.
    Sirius gagged, “You guys are disgusting.” 
    “Christ Black, how old are you?” Lily spoke with the roll of her eyes. 
    He scrunched his nose and pretended to mock her silently only earning a sigh from Remus who sat beside him. 
    “Something is wrong with y/n, I can just feel it.” Lily continued content on ignoring Sirius. 
    “Maybe she's dating that Callahan kid.” James offered. “There’s been tons of rumors.”
    Lily scoffed, “Please, she has told me multiple times she has absolutely no interest in him.” 
    “A few months ago you were telling her you had absolutely no interest in James.” Remus offered not to look up from his book.
    Lily sputtered blushing heavily again, “That is completely different.” 
    “Sure it is.” Remus drawled, eyes peering over the cover at her. 
    Lily furrowed her brow, “But why wouldn’t she tell me? I mean I thought we've always been close.” 
    “Maybe it's not that serious.” Sirius shrugged, “Maybe they’re just fuck buddies or something.”
    Lily pulled back in disgust, “Don’t talk about my little sister like that!” she hissed as Remus kicked him under the table.
    “What? She’s almost 17! It's not like she's 12 or something, Godric.” Sirius complained and James threw a spoon at him. 
    “You know if you’re really that curious we could always just check the map.” James said looking over at Lily who was trying to set Sirius on fire with her glare. 
    She considered it for a moment, “Isn’t that kind of..” she paused “intrusive?” 
    He shrugged, “She's your little sister.” 
    The sky was dark that night as you met with Regulus. The moon was new leaving only the blinking stars to light the ground beneath you. 
    You grinned when you saw Regulus leaning against the small statue in the middle of the courtyard. You quickened your pace pulling him into a brief kiss as you met.
    “Hi.” You whispered against his lips and you felt him smile.
    “Hi.” He responded, hands on your waist pulling you closer once again. 
You tasted sweet like the nectar of the gods, soft and tender in his arms. Your hair smelt of pomegranate, your flowery perfume engulfing him. There was nothing more addicting on this world than your lips. 
You both pulled away breathless and grinning stupidly, “Your hair looks so cute like this.” You mumbled running your hands through it and tugging lightly on a curly lock that had fallen down his forehead. 
Regulus practically purred, melting into your touch. He dipped his head low to hide his blush, lips skimming the skin of your neck. 
You giggled as he mumbled a bashful thank you before nipping slightly below your ear. He was always careful to never leave marks that could be seen the following day. You wished he wasn’t. 
You felt his hands on the back of your thighs lifting you off the ground. You wrapped your arms around his neck and buried your nose in his hair as he walked until your back hit the wall of the castle. You scratched your nails lightly against his scalp and Regulus groaned. You gasped at the feeling of his tongue on your jaw as he pressed you further into the stone. Your legs now wrapped around his waist as he left sloppy kisses on your collar bone. 
It was then you heard the shuffle of footsteps. 
“Regulus.” You whispered and he broke away to look up at you, his lips red and glossy , “I heard someone.” 
He slowly lowered you to your feet, “You sure?” 
You nodded and you both stood silently, ears craning for another sign of life among you. After a minute you sighed, “Sorry, I must have been hearing things.” 
Regulus just shook his head grinning lightly, “ ‘s fine babe.” words slurring, intoxicated by your taste. 
Your lips reconnected, his teeth grazing your bottom lip as you began to work on the buttons of his shirt, tugging on his tie to loosen its knot. But there it was again the soft sound of feet, closer this time. 
You both paused Regulus pulling away leaving your skin feeling cold in his absence. 
“Who’s there?” He demanded into the darkness, wand lit. 
There was no response and you grabbed his hand to pull him back to you. Regulus stood his ground so you leaned into him, lips ghosting against his ear. 
“It's probably just a mouse or somethin’.” You murmured hands coming back to undo the remaining buttons of his shirt.
Regulus glanced around once more before looking down at you, “You’re probably right.”  he said before he began to untuck your blouse, hands sliding slowly under it. 
It was that which finally broke Lily, her vision going red. She stepped from beneath the invisibility cloak ignoring James' protests. 
You let out a small yelp as your sister appeared from thin air, Regulus who had his back turned to her immediately drew his wand pushing you lightly behind him. His eyes went wide as he found himself inches from your older sister. It was your turn to pull Regulus behind you. 
“Lily, What in bloody hell are you doing here?” 
When James sheepishly appeared as well you gasped, “What is wrong with you both, are you stalking me?” 
Lily looked stern, her arms crossed, “Why are you with him?” she seethed.
Your eyes narrowed, “None of your fucking buissnes. Now take your dog and leave.” 
Regulus almost didn't believe it was you that was talking. He wasn’t accustomed to the harsh tone you used, your anger hardly ever directed at him. 
“This is most certainly my business!” She spoke shrilly. 
“It is most certainly not. Now get out.” You shouted.
“How can you expect me to leave when you're getting all touchy feely with a purist?” She hissed, grabbing at your wrist to pull you away from the boy behind you.    You slapped her away so hard the sound echoed off the walls, “Call him that again around me and you’ll fucking regret it.” You growled. 
Lily stepped back surprised by your sudden aggression but not backing down, “Please y/n, I’m just calling it as it. The sooner you realise that the better.” 
Regulus felt his throat tighten as he listened, teeth biting into his lip as he had nowhere to look but his feet. 
    You stepped closer to your sister inches from her face, “Leave.” your voice struck heavy. 
    Lily responded just as harshly, “No.” 
    James shifted behind his girlfriend feeling like he was intruding on the fight which was taking place. Sensing his awkwardness you looked back at him with a searing gaze. 
    “Get out Potter, you have no place here.” You spat.
    He was planning on shuffling away when Lily turned back to him angrily, “No James stay.” 
You scoffed as he did as he was told, “Fucking pet.” 
“Don’t speak to him like that.” Lily scolded. 
“You're the one who's calling my boyfriend a purist.” You growled your mouth bitter at the taste of hypocrisy.
“Because he is one!” She bit back. “You really think he actually loves you after being raised how he was? With a mother like his?” 
Regulus felt like he had been slapped, his cheek stinging as the older girl spoke. 
 “Don’t you dare bring up his mother.”  You were shaking with rage by now, your face streaked with angry tears, “And how dare you speak ill of Regulus simply because of his upbringing as if his brother isn't one of your closest friends. How do you think Sirius would feel hearing what you just said?” 
This took Lily back a step, her rage cooling a bit as she realised her mistake, “It’s different,” She tried to recover, “He isn't with his family anymore. Sirius has already broken away from them. He made the choice any good person would.” 
Regulus felt her eyes on him as she spoke. She was no longer interested in her sister and instead focused on him. He felt like he was choking under the pressure of her stare. When he glanced up to meet her gaze he inhaled sharply. He hadn’t seen such hatred in a long time.
Your lashes were thick with tears by now, disgust and fury morphing your face, “Go fuck yourself Lily.” You spat.
She ignored you, gaze locked on Regulus, she had no intention of speaking to you anymore, “You stay away from her.” she demanded, “If you truly love her you stay away from her.”
You shouted lunging forwards and shoving your sister backwards. She stumbled back catching herself. 
It was you who fell, your feet tangling, forcing you to the ground. You hit hard, hands and knees scraping against stones and moss which made up the floor. You couldn’t find it in you to stand up simply letting exhaustion and misery take you where you lay. You shook with sobs, voice cracked and raw. Lily immediately dropped beside you, hands circling your neck as she drew you into a hug. You fought her as you always did but she held on, letting you beat her chest with your fists until you stilled.
Regulus took a step forward but was stopped by your sister whose glare told him everything he needed to know. Tears pricking his own eyes he stumbled past the two of you and disappeared into the darkness of the dungeons. He didn't hear James shout for him over the sound of the ring in his ears. He wasn’t sure where he ended up, somewhere deep in the depths of the sprawling castle, dust coated the staircase he collapsed onto. Only there did he let himself cry, choking sobs rubbing his throat raw as he looked for someone to blame. His mother for forcing him into the terrifying world of dark magic? His brother for abandoning him in his abusive home? Or your sister for pointing out the truth he prayed you would never see? Regulus wished he could pass the blame off to anyone but he wasn’t stupid, he knew he had no one to hate but himself. 
Regulus disappeared entirely for three days. Three days you spent desperately avoiding your sister who seemed just as adamant to talk to you again. You skipped meals opting for hunger instead risking meeting her in the hall. She would show up outside your classes forcing you to scramble out the back way or sprint away like a child running from punishment. 
On the fourth day of your boyfriend's absence you felt yourself beginning to panic. Fear of him never returning, filling your head with irrational thoughts. It wasn’t like you could ask around for him, your relationship needed to remain secret despite the difficulties you were facing. It was then Lily cornered you. 
You stared at the redhead as she blocked your only exit. “Lily, move.” You sighed exhausted by the past few days, sleepless nights not improving your condition. 
She didn't listen, “Y/n we need to talk.” 
"About what?" You scoffed, "I have nothing to say to you.” 
“I just want you to understand why I,” She paused, “Why I said what I did.” 
“I don't care why you said it Lily.” You said, “I don’t care if you think you were protecting me or saving me from some hopeless relationship. I honestly don’t care.” 
Her eyes swelled, “How can you say that? How can you not care? I love you y/n I just want you to be safe.” 
You stared at her, “I just don’t understand why you couldn’t just let me be happy.”
“He’s dangerous.” 
You shook your head, “No, his family is dangerous. His situation is dangerous. He’s not.” 
“Y/n please.” She begged, for what you did not know. 
“Just stay out of my shit Lily.” you mumbled pushing past her and back into the hallway. 
You spent the night where you always had, the small courtyard hidden between two towers of the castle, a statue of a woman draped in vines and flowers at its center. The moon was a small sliver, a dusting of clouds blocking the stars from your view. The shuffle of footsteps brought your eyes from the ground. 
There stood Regulus, his face shining in the pale light. His hands were stuffed in his pockets, nose pointed at the floor as he refused to meet your gaze. 
You stood quickly throwing your hands around his neck. He leaned into your touch burying his head into your shoulder as his hands found your waist. 
You smelled delightful as always, your lips soft against his cheek and hands in his hair. Regulus hadn’t realized he was crying until you began to comfort him. Sweet words whispered into his ear as you only held him tighter. 
“She’s right, you know.” He croaked, lifting his head to look at you. “You shouldn’t be around me.” 
You shook your head feverishly, “You’re wrong Reggy.”
“I don’t deserve you y/n, I don’t deserve to be with you.” He sobbed, “I could never deserve you.” 
“You’re right, love.” You mumbled, smiling through the tears that coated your cheeks, “You deserve so much better.” 
♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~
taglist:@accio-rogers @roslea @k3nz-doodl3 @theseuscmander @sleepingalaska @chloe-geoghegan1 @coldlilheart @suseptiable-bur-siriusexual @the-natureofme @trickylittlewitch @layaa-layaaa @rosieweasleyy @dracosgoodgirl @inglourious-imagines @princess-jules47 @daedreamss @d22malfoys
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sukirichi · 4 years ago
Text
earned it [01]
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Gojo Satoru is a firm believer that if you work hard for it then you shall earn it.  But on the other side, he’s not unfamiliar with his own sins. He also believes that there is punishment due for his sins as he’s earned it.
request. (mafia au, sugar daddy au) + (dumbification, praising kink)
cw. smut, overstimulation, slight dumbification, praising kink, slight degradation, spanking, belt whipping, explicit murder, rough sex, shower sex, oral (f receiving), multiple sex scenes, riding, slight angst, veryyy unedited, sex when standing up, sex in pretzel position, dom! gojo, manhandling
notes. 🦋 anon, thanks so much for the request! i hope you love this one, i absolutely poured my heart and soul into this! minus the effort to edit, i’ll just edit this when i’m no longer sick lol
series masterlist
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There he was again.
Working in a high-class restaurant located in the heart of the city meant you were no stranger to seeing people of power and titles, but he never failed to make everyone stop in their tasks every time he came around.
You don’t know his name, much less his usual orders since his usual table – middle 98 – wasn’t in your rotation. But you’re held captive in his presence, attention drawn to his broad shoulders clad in what seemed like a hand-stitched three piece suit, his striking white hair falling down in smooth tendrils. There’s something about the way he walks – confident doesn’t begin to describe it – that makes everyone surrounding him feel like they’re merely spectators to the enigma that was him, and he carries this observation proudly in his shoulders, that mischievous smile never absent from his face.
Your co-worker tugs at your sleeve, nearly knocking the empty wine glasses away from your tray. Barely catching them as you falter, you bow down to them in apology. No matter how intriguing the mysterious midnight comer was, you were still working. You needed to keep your head focused and in the game.
Hours pass by of shifting from one table to another, your hands beyond cramped from scribbling down such intricate orders. It’s a miracle you were hired in a place as luxurious as this in the first place when you couldn’t pronounce, much less spell the main dishes, but you proved through determination and hard work that the miracle was also accompanied by your grit. It didn’t matter that you were the youngest part-timer with little to no experience – unexpected things always happened when you’re backed in a corner, leaving you with no choice but to follow through.
This corner was nothing less than the struggle to make ends meet. While you’re lucky to have gotten accepted in one of the top state universities, there still came the issue of tuition fees, plus dorm occupations.
You don’t have the privilege to complain or whine that your experiences are probably not on par with what they expect of you, so you have to do your best; you have to keep pushing no matter how hard it gets and you’re barely awake for class the next day.
Clocking out, you bid goodbye to your co-workers and thank them for their hard work, about to leave through the back door when you hear his voice.
Your gaze lands on him from outside the kitchen, body twisted in the direction of where he sat, long legs crossed one another. He’s thanking the waiter for the wine, and you wince, because it isn’t just any wine. That’s one of the drinks locked in the special cellar because of its hefty price, yet there he was, swirling the red liquid around in his glass as if the amount of zeroes never bothered him. He’s reading something from his tablet, head tilted to the side as he drinks, and that’s when you see it.
It’s so miniscule you would’ve believed it’s just your eyes playing tricks on you, but you’ve seen in this class during one of your laboratory practices, the burn marks on your wrist a painful reminder of your carelessness.
Your boss’ shouts of warning fall onto deaf ears as you push past the double doors, feet moving on its own. The edge of the glass makes contact with his lips, gray lashes flattering across his cheeks, while time and sound becomes nothing but background noise to you. Your cry is inaudible when your hand pushes the glass away from his grip, the sounds of it shattering into pieces like a wake-up call to both of you.
For the first time since you’ve met him, the faintest look of surprise crosses over his face. His hands remain into a reflexive hold of the now missing glass, azure eyes cutting through yours.
You bow down to apologize – you can’t believe you’ve just done that and how his suit was stained and his pants soaked – but the words that left his lips stun you beyond disbelief, effectively freezing you in your state. His voice holds the same iciness as the blue of his pupils, but to you – just for you – there’s a tinge of awe behind them.
“Odd,” he says, “To think my life would be saved by you.”
You wake up with a gasp, hands clutched on the blanket covering your bare frame. There’s sweat forming on your hairline as you look around, wincing at the sliver of light passing through the curtains. Silver, ceiling length draperies obscure the view of the city skies outside, a huge reminder of where you are now – somewhere between the past and the future that’s about to come – and the king-sized bed you lay on almost feels like a dream.
Right. It’s been two years since you’ve met Satoru, the once mysterious customer turned into lover, an arrangement between financial aid and companionship solidifying your relationship with him now.
Your face burns at the sight of your clothes scattered all over your shared room. Your lace panties somehow end up on the chandeliers, the expensive material of your silk dress about to slide off the humongous TV and your bra hanging off the doorknob.
The light ache between your legs does nothing to appease your embarrassment. Even after two years of being with Satoru, it’s still difficult to believe he’s chosen you of all people.
He could’ve had anyone he wants. Not only is he beautiful, young, successful, and smart, he’s also an absolutely god in the sheets, your throbbing core attesting to his never ending array of his skills. Truly, Gojo Satoru was perfect, so much so that you pale in comparison to him no matter how much he’s assured you you’re the only he has eyes on.
It doesn’t make sense to you, but does it have to?
Love never required a logical reason for it to blossom, and you left it at that, fearful that it may just ruin whatever happened between the two of you. Besides, if Satoru wants you, then who were you to question that?
You swing your legs off the side of the bed to make him breakfast, but your legs shake upon contact to the floor, still very much sore after last night’s events.
Satoru’s been away for work for three days, and even though it wasn’t that much of a distance, he still acted like it’s been forever. He sure took his time with you, making you cum three times just with his tongue and fingers alone. He’s a cheeky and mischievous man; there’s no telling whether his words are just sweet lies or plain facts, but if there’s one thing you’re sure of, it’s that Satoru keeps his promises to heart. If he says he’s going to fuck you until you can’t walk the next day, he means it, and now you’re left groaning back onto the bed.
You’re thankful that it’s a weekend. Had it been a school day, it’s going to be an absolute pain in the ass. No matter how much he’s covered your school fees, you still won’t risk missing a day.
The door swings open, revealing your boyfriend clothed in nothing but his boxers, the smile on his face huge at seeing you glare at him. “Aw, baby,” he coos, sliding himself next to you, carrying a tray of pancakes topped with blueberries with him. Satoru wraps an arm around your shoulder and laughs into your air when you grumble at the soreness, which he tries to kiss away. “Sorry not sorry for last night. It’s not my fault I’m so addicted to you.”
“Whatever,” you mutter, fighting back that stupid fluttering feeling in your chest. Your attention is diverted to the luscious, fluffy pancakes, and your brows furrow at the sight. “Did you make this for me?”
“Yes, ma’am!”
You roll your eyes at him; his energy was always off the charts even after fucking you into oblivion. Thanking him under your breath, you reach for the breakfast, eternally grateful that it’s breakfast in bed because you can’t walk anywhere right now. However, Satoru pries your hands away from the fork, making you lean back instead as he spoon feeds you.
It’s a little humiliating – and he’s basking in this judging from the smirk he wears – but you give in anyway. Unlike him, your stamina isn’t monstrous. You’re still a human and you’re utterly tired, the glare endless through mouthfuls of the pancake. “I’m not a child, you know.”
“Yeah, but you’re my baby,” he retorts, smacking a kiss right at your lips.
You complain harder, ever so annoyed that you could never seem to throw him off guard and have the upper hand for once. Satoru eases the frown on your face by kissing you harder, his hand cradling your neck. He’s a fucking tease; his tongue languid and sensual as he tastes the honey coating your lips, sucking your bottom lip inside his mouth before nipping at it.
At the back of your mind, you’re wondering how each moment with him results into touching. Not that you really mind, of course, your stomach only flares up with heat at the thought he wants you just as much as you crave him.
Breakfast is soon forgotten right after seven bites as Satoru leans back against the headboard, thumb soothing circles at your hipbone to guide you on top of him.
He pulls away to breathe, a thin thread of saliva and honey between your lips present, and it’s so erotic that his eyes darken with lust, hands gripping a little tighter. You’re still bare on top of him, hardened breasts on display, but he holds himself back with heavy breaths, not wanting to ruin you further than he already has.
Satoru’s lips lands on your shoulder instead, thumb grazing under the weight of your breasts. He’s kissing you everywhere, almost as if he expects the flutter of his lips to heal you. You gladly let him taste you as he pleases, neck tilted to the side while you catch your breath.
The transition of him from an absolute freak in bed to the caring, compassionate boyfriend he is never fails to give you whiplash.
“How’s your studies?” he murmurs into your skin, his touch feather-like in caressing your back. You feel the hairs stand up at where he grazes them, shivering at the sensuality and tenderness he holds you with. “Doing good? My sweetheart still top of her class?”
“Hmm,” you hum back, planting yourself firm in his lap. He’s already hard under you, his cock twitching when your bare cunt presses on top of his tip, but he controls himself, focusing on your state instead. “My grades are tip-top, all thanks to your support,” Satoru smiles when you’re the one placing kisses all over his face this time, his giggles almost child-like.
Time flies by as you lay there in his arms. You’re lulled back into sleep at the sound of his heart beat, and just as you’re dozing off, Satoru pats your ass. “Baby,” he calls out, “Let me wash you first, then we’ll cuddle afterwards. What do you think about that?”
“That’d be great, I feel sticky.”
Satoru laughs, pulling panicked squeals from you when he suddenly hoisted you in his arms, carrying you bridal style. He kicks the door open before turning the heater on in the Jacuzzi, placing you under the shower first.
You close your eyes under the sprinkle of water, hands splayed all over his chest. Your legs are still wobbling, no thanks to him railing you as if there was no tomorrow, but he holds you upright, kneading his hands into your hair then washing every crevice of your body. When you open your eyes, you see him kneeling down to rub the loofah all over your legs, a slight pinch in his brows from sheer focus.
Your heart beats loudly on your chest, unable to process that the Gojo Satoru is on his knees, his touch nothing less of worshipping as if you were a divine being in his eyes.
It makes you breathe sharply as his face comes up before your core, his tongue darting out for a moment before he looks away, focusing on cleaning you up afterwards. His control and care for your well-being leaves you speechless, leaves you breathless, leaves you wanting him more and more and more that you’re kissing him again the moment he brings you both to his Jacuzzi.
He’s taken his boxers off to enjoy the feeling of skin brushing against skin, the fuzz of bubbles foaming up at your breasts only enticing him to kiss you with equal fervent passion.
You’re grinding down on his dick, his length encased between your lips that are extremely warm in comparison to the cool water. Finally, Satoru is stuttering beneath you, little whines leaving his breath as he kneads your ass, resisting the urge to slap the smooth flesh.
“Satoru,” you moan, “N-need you now, please.”
Fuck, his name on your lips mixed with your moans are enough to make him want to lose his restraint and just fuck you hard and deep there. He growls at how unaware you are of your effect on him, and he’s nothing short of starving in his kisses, never getting tired of tasting you over and over again. He wants to keep kissing you until your scent and taste is imprinted on his skin, to carry you around with him even when you’re not there, because he loves you, and he’s never loved anyone this much before. Especially for people like him, love was nothing but a myth.
Everything is a fantasy with you, a dream he doesn’t want to wake up from. If you were to ask him to give up everything for you this instant, he’d do it in a heartbeat.
His heart is enslaved by your existence, and he nods, helping you lift your hips up to align his cock to your entrance. He takes note of your soreness as you slowly sink down on his cock, swallowing your whimpers through open-mouthed kiss. You’re shaking inside his arms, tiny scratches mixed with mewls making its way on his chest, further adding to the litter of scars already painted on his body.
Your head lands on his shoulder the second he bottoms out. Satoru groans at the feeling of your walls fluttering down on him, so warm and so tight that he has to lean his head back on the headrest just to catch his breath.
“You ride me, baby,” he manages through pants. “I’ll let you set the pace – do what’s comfortable with you.”
Your jaw clenches at the same time you clamp down on him one more time, eliciting another sinful moan from your lover. A lazy smirk graces your face as you ride him slowly, the image of the almighty Gojo Satoru falling apart at your ministrations burned at the back of your mind. You’ll replay this memory every time he leaves for work again, and the dreadful thought of having to watch him leave one more time fuels you to bounce on him harder, nails dug into his shoulder.
Satoru winces at the slight sting but doesn’t stop you anyway; he’s no stranger to pain. In fact, he’s a master of that and many more in more ways than one, though you didn’t know that – and he’ll never let you know that.
His eyes snap open at the sounds of skin slapping against skin, the water sloshing out the Jacuzzi. He’s met with the sight of you clutching the edges of the tub, bottom lip caught between your teeth as you fuck yourself harder on his cock. Your breasts bounce right in front of his eyes, tempting him to latch a mouth around it, which he does, the sudden flicking of his warm tongue on your nipples driving you to the edge.
Your soreness becomes a hazy memory of the past with each slide down his dick, thighs burning from the exertion. Satoru is lapping up your breasts and palming the other expertly, his breath hot on your skin.
Something familiar coils into your lower abdomen with each hard thrust, and you throw your head back, moaning his name as if it’s the only thing you’ve ever known. You’re growing tired; he can tell from the way you’re barely lifting your hips, but you’re so close, so near, that Satoru takes it upon himself to push you both right where you wanted to be.
Your moan comes out breathless the moment Satoru grips at your hips, snapping his hips upwards at the same time he guides your body to crush down on him. He’s the one controlling your body, but you’re falling on top of him with no reserve, your weight slamming down to his groin in full force that he’s faltering. Satoru is entranced by the motion of your hips gyrating around the head of his cock, the wavering grin on your face a telltale you’re enjoying the act of destroying him, but he lets you – it’s only fair after the countless times he’s done the same with you. But oh, he’ll have you again and again, and he proves his endless desire for you by forcing himself deep to your most sensitive spots, the glimpse of your mouth hanging open as you come making his cock twitch.
Satoru squeezes your hips as he situates you flat on his cock, groaning as he came in thick spurts. You mewl, scratching at his chest as he rides his high out with a few more sloppy thrusts.
“I know, baby, I know,” he whispers at the top of your hair, well-aware that your oversensitivity is clouding your mind. But he can’t help it, not when you feel so good around him like this. “Just a little more, I’ll be – fuck – right there, oh yeahhh,” he drawls out breathlessly, his cock twitching with the last strings of cum until he grows boneless inside you.
Satoru pulls his cock out, chest heaving up and down from that earth-shattering orgasm. In all honesty, he’s confident he could give you an even better one, but your lids are already fluttering close that he chuckles, pressing a kiss on your temple as a silent you did well.
Somewhere through your half-awake state, you manage to card your fingers through his hair, voice small and weak as you ask, “Don’t you have to go to work?”
Satoru’s eyes lour with something unreadable, and he’s thankful you don’t get to see the sudden glooming of his face. He gently pushes your head to rest on his shoulder, his eyes narrowed at his rippling reflection in the water. In his eyes, he sees the truth – he sees a monster holding an innocent angel he lives to protect – the truth he wants to conceal. He can’t even fathom the possibility of you finding out about who he really is, much less what he does that enables him to provide you with everything you need.
He’s the demon himself, caressing someone as pure as you in his arms, his eyes and true self sinister except for the gentle kisses he leaves at the shell of your ear.
If it keeps you safe, he doesn’t mind becoming even more of a monster if it means keeping you safe.
So he keeps you right where you can’t witness the slight moments of vulnerability in which his horns reveal itself, hugging you tight and possessively in the fear he’ll lose the only thing that matters most to him.
“I have a meeting tonight,” is all he says, is what he always says.
He’s mysterious and aloof, too vague every time you inquire him about what he does for a living. Usually, you’d feel worried or even wary that maybe he doesn’t trust you as much as you originally thought, but you’re too tired to question him further, and he takes advantage of your weakness wholeheartedly. All to keep you safe.
Satoru closes his eyes as he takes a deep breath, no longer bothered by the fact each step he took is getting him closer and closer to a point of no redemption.
He’s not worried about that anymore, not when his salvation is right in his arms, wrapping him with your love and false sense of safety that it becomes the lie he feeds himself every night just to keep going on.
“I just want to be with you a little longer.”
This time around, Satoru tells the truth.
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The rust of blood dripping off the concrete walls is as normal to Satoru as breathing is for everyone else. He doesn’t falter in his movements, doesn’t scrunch his nose at the stench, and he doesn’t waver from swinging his arm back, the heavy weight of the wrench already wielded in his hand.
Someone dared come up to their base to face him head-on.
He has to admit, he was impressed with their guts, but now he feels empty save for a slight sliver of irritation at the man’s bloodied face. He’s panting after coughing up blood so much, his face unrecognizable after the beating Satoru gave him, teeth splattered on the floor. Satoru’s right hand man, Geto, stands at the side, silently inspecting his nails.
They’d been going at this for hours now, yet they seemed to be right where they were at the beginning. Torture was usually an effective method of gathering information, but this hostage seemed to be on the same par of monstrous as Satoru from his unyielding nature, even had the audacity to laugh.
Satoru stops in his tracks, a brow raised at what seemed to be so funny.
“Everyone spoke highly of you,” he spat his blood out, his busted eye twitching under Satoru’s stone cold gaze. “They told me you were barbaric, ruthless, the most feared mafia boss out here, but you’re pathetic now, aren’t you? You’re not the same Six Eyes who sees all they claimed you to be,” Satoru watched warily when his hostage smirked, the same one he always wore just moments from bashing the skull out of someone. It’s because he’s so familiar with it that Satoru immediately puts up his walls, Geto stepping beside him with his gun gleaming under his coat. As expected, the man does not falter, his laughter merely increasing in volume. “You’ve grown soft, Gojo. Your little lover is your weakness, it’s written all over your face. Tell me, what’s stopping you from ending my life already? Afraid that if she finds out, she might push you away?” When Gojo doesn’t answer, the man clicks his tongue. “I fucking knew it.”
Geto moves quicker than his boss. He draws his gun and aims it right between his eyes, only to be stopped by Satoru’s indifferent tone. “Stop.”
“But boss-”
“Why did you come here?” he stabs the man in the thigh with a knife, his screams of pain alleviating enough to distract the painful clenching of his chest. “I don’t believe you came here just to prove the rumors true. Now you tell me, why have you come here?” Satoru slams his fist down on the knife, the blade pushing past through muscles and hitting deep to the bone. “Answer me.”
“Th-there’s a drive in my pocket. Open it and you’ll see.”
The man doesn’t stop squirming as Geto rummages through his jacket, nodding to his boss once they got hold of the slick black device. Geto immediately plugs it to the monitor, several photographs popping up in a few seconds, and those few seconds were all it took to bring the infamous mafia boss down.
Because they weren’t just photos, they were photos of you.
Of you laughing with your friends, of you hugging Satoru’s arm in one of your dates, of you kissing him under the streetlight and even an intimate photo of you going down on him while he’s driving. It must be taken from a street cam judging from the blurry quality, but it’s crystal clear to him anyway, and Satoru’s mind muddles with thoughts darker than he once believed he’s capable of. He feels his anger bloom like fire licking up at his skin, his nerves bursting through, and he’s so obvious, so predictable that his hostage guffaws.
“I was right, I was right-!”
“You mean her?” his voice drips down with so much indifference, it shocks even he himself. His hostage shuts up at the sudden change of Satoru’s aura, that dark, fearsome aura that had people begging him to kill them as an act of mercy coming back to life. The man clamps his mouth shut, chills running down his spine because it’s no longer the same Satoru he mocked pulling the knife out from his thigh.
No, this is the Gojo Satoru, the devil incarnate himself, and he’s made the huge mistake of believing he would be affected by a mere woman. Satoru reads the fear on his face too easily, not bothering to hide his sigh as he twirls the bloodied blade between his fingers.
“She’s nothing to me. She’s just another bitch, another paid pussy. Favorite of the month, you could say, but nothing of worth to me,” he announces, ignoring Geto who’s stiffened up at the corner. “Did you really come all the way here just to see if you could find my weakness? If so, then your organization is a lot dumber than I thought, and I hate people who waste my time.”
“No, no, please, I was just jok-” his eyes widen when Satoru snaps his fingers, and Geto rushes to his boss with his gun. “Please, no, I didn’t think she was just a bitch-”
The man never got to finish his words.
A loud ‘bang’ echoes around the room, followed by a slight snap when his head falls backwards. Blood drips from the hole sitting in between his head, the aim perfect and flawless even with Satoru not looking back. He’s still Gojo Satoru, leader of the Gojo Mafia Clan, and he’s not the most feared leader in history for no reason. He’s always been blessed with a physical prowess and fighting abilities that allowed him to take on other clans by himself, but he’s changing. There’s now a chink in his armour, and people are starting to notice.
If he doesn’t do anything about it soon…
“Sir,” Geto begins, following the rushed footsteps of Satoru outside the hall, where his security is lined up with guns poised and ready to risk their lives for him. This was his power, this was his legacy – and this is who he was.
A killer. A monster. A demon – he’s everything you wouldn’t love.
“I know, Geto, I know,” Satoru says through gritted teeth, his bloody hands clenched into fists. He already knows what he’s supposed to do; he doesn’t need another reminder of it. “You don’t have to tell me anything I know of already. Now send that body back as a warning. I’m going home for tonight.”
Geto is stunned, and he’s got every right to be. After all, in his boss’ 28 years of existence, not once has he called anywhere or anyone home.
He’s always claimed himself to be irredeemable, to be unworthy of love and forgiveness, but slowly yet surely, he was beginning to look at life differently after meeting you, after loving you. The word ‘home’ was never in his vocabulary, and yet, every time your face comes up in his mind, it’s the only word he can think of.
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He came home a lot earlier than you expected him to. You’re hunched over the table, legs swinging back and forth as you finish your school packets when the door chimes with the familiar beep. It’s only midnight and he’s already here, the excitement manifesting in you as you jump off the stools, running to greet your beloved.
Satoru ends up as a blur of frantic hands tugging his tie off, his scowl seething with anger and regret pouring off of him in waves.
Before you could say anything, he has you pinned on the wall, one knee inside your legs to keep you upright. Satoru is kissing you, hard, one hand raised to keep both your wrists planted above your head. You’re moaning at his aggressiveness, the sounds encouraged by his erection poking at you from your silk robe.
It’s not rare for him to come home in need of a fuck to clear his head, but…something feels different this time around. He feels different, almost like an entirely new person.
Satoru pulls away to press his forehead to yours, his eyes hooded with lust and lips bruised from the kiss. You’re confuzzled; your lover is the exact same person standing before you, the same person grazing at your breasts until your nipples harden at his touch, so then why does it feel like the person who left and came back are entirely two different people.
“Can I fuck you, angel? Please?”
Your words die down your throat.
Satoru’s never said please before, much less look this devastated as he asks to have you. He always says it with exuberant confidence, his present frown usually a smile. There’s no trace of happiness or even playfulness in his eyes this time around. Instead, they’re filled with fear – desperation, even.
You say yes before you realize it, but it’s enough for Satoru. It feels like he’s only been waiting for that word before he goes on a rampage, for his lips are on yours again, patting your thighs as a silent command to jump. You follow his orders and kiss him feverishly until it becomes a battle for dominance, tongue and teeth clashing against the other. Your hands are tugging at his hair from how rough he’s grabbing at your hips, spanking the sensitive flesh that draws a whimper at you.
You don’t know how Satoru manages to find his way to the leather couch even with his eyes closed, but he takes you there, no longer gentle as he throws your weight down. You’re falling, falling, falling as your knees hit the material, cheeks pressed against the headrest. You turn back to kiss him one more time, but Satoru keeps you down there, the sound of his belt unbuckling reaching your ears.
Satoru wraps the leather around his palm, kissing you flat on the lips just as he slaps the material to your ass. He’s pushed your robe to bunch up at your waist, groaning into your mouth upon the realization you’ve been walking around the house butt-naked.
“You’re so fucking perfect,” he nips at your lips, feeding off of the pained moans coating his senses at each whip of his belt. “No underwear while I’m gone – you’re begging to be fucked, angel. You’re so filthy,” he swings his arm back to extend the length of the belt, squeezing your ass before he whips it harder against your flesh. You scream at the contact, nails ripping the leather couch and a slight puddle of drool on your lips.
“S-Satoru!”
“What?” he snaps, gripping your jaw, his eyes replaced with something animalistic as he stares at you. The love is gone in his eyes, your lover almost unrecognizable from the way he whips you again. You jut forwards, arousal pooling and dripping down his sofa. His eyes trail down your gushing pussy, nostrils flared before throwing his belt to the other side of the room. The buckle hits one of his expensive vases until it comes crashing down, the sound of it nostalgic to the first time you met him. “Can’t talk, huh, baby? What do you want? Tell me what you want.”
“Fuck me,” you blurt out, wiggling your hips sensationally at his already throbbing dick. “Please fuck me.”
You suppose you should’ve been more careful with your words, because Satoru lives to please, and if you tell him to do something, you can expect he’ll give his everything.
He knocks the wind out of your lungs by squeezing your waist, sliding himself into you one, full thrust. You’re wet enough that he slides in easily, but it’s too fast, too early, that the sudden stretch is painfully pleasurable. Satoru delivers one more smack to your flesh that makes it bounce, his growls loud and ragged as he pounds into you.
You’re clutching at the backrest, eyes shut tight as all your attention diverts to the heat in your core. You wish you could see his face, hold his hand or see the way he admires you while he fucks you, but you can’t see anything. Tonight, you could only feel.
Each thrust sends the couch a little ways forward, his balls slapping against your ass. He’s cursing left and right, more focused on getting his anger out his system than pleasuring you. It’s a drastic change to your lover’s behavior in bed, yet you can’t find any muscle in your body that denies this. Satoru can be rough, but he never really goes all out. One way or another, he manages to hold back for your sake, but his mind’s a mess, the voices in his head screaming louder that it drowns out the need to make you cum first.
He’s relentless, grip bruising the harder he fucks into you. You know you’re gone in the instance Satoru plants one foot beside you, the angle causing him to hit deeper.
Satoru ends up fucking into your cervix with each hard thrust, fisting his hand under your robe while he slams forward. It’s so intense that your vision blurs, a faltered grip on the couch. You’re falling limp under his ministrations, his dick successfully hitting that spot that has you seeing white. You’re screaming, babbling nonsense while Satoru uses you as his own fuck toy, pushing past your tight walls and relishing in the way you hug his cock snugly.
He came first, his thrusts growing sloppy and stuttering for a moment. Satoru pulls out so quickly from you that you’re left gasping for air at the sudden emptiness, and that’s when you feel his cum landing on your lower back.
You’re too slow, too weak – or perhaps he’s too strong, too fast – to react properly to his movements.
Satoru doesn’t let you catch your breath as he throws you over his shoulder, your face nearly smacking his ass. You feel dizzy at this position, and the voice in your head tells you that you should be scared he’s manhandling you like this, but seeing him this way – so reveled, so angry, so out of control – has you rubbing your legs, core dripping at the thought of how he’s going to use you tonight.
Your eyes widen when he doesn’t head for the bedroom. You were so sure he’d take you there, but Satoru lays you flat on the marble countertops of the kitchen, the cold biting into your skin.
Satoru doesn’t waste another second before he spreads your legs open and dives into your cunt. You squeal, legs instinctively closing around his head when you feel his tongue lick a flat stripe at your pussy, but he only pushes them apart, encircling your ankles hard to keep you open.
You know he’s strong, but you’re still surprised that he’s capable of rendering you motionless, powerless like this. Your mind wanders off to a dangerous path in wonders of how else he’s hurt someone like this – whether intentionally or unintentionally – but he immediately pulls you back to reality when he sucks your clit, his eyes direct with yours.
His hands trail upwards to squeeze at your breasts, the immediacy of it all firing up that tight knot in your stomach that he failed to snap a while ago.
Satoru’s nose rubs at your skin the harder he sucks at your clit, tugging it upwards until you’re whining around him. It’s always so erotic to see his pretty face buried in your cunt like this; you’ll never get used to him eating you like you’re his last meal. He laps up your juices like a starved man, his tongue prodding between your lips and slurping everything you offer him, one of his arms retracting to slide two fingers inside your sopping hole.
You moan at the sudden intrusion. The sounds of your moans mixing in with the lewd squelching of your dripping pussy is extremely embarrassing, even more so because you’re actually gushing down his palm.
Your juices spread all over his face, and Satoru is greedy, thirsty for more. He pumps harder into you, curling them against the ridges of your walls, and finally, finally you’re there. Your orgasm washes down on you violently that Satoru has to keep a palm flat down on your stomach, his tongue not ceasing from lapping up your juices. You’re convulsing from his hold, stuttered moans rewarding to his ears.
He doesn’t stop coaxing your wetness out of your cunt, his fingers working you out and easing the previous pain of when he entered you without warning. Satoru leans up to help you sit up, his lips colliding with yours for a much gentler kiss this time around.
You cup his cheeks, feeling him slide your body across the counters. Your arousal that he’s failed to clean up remains there until it spreads all over the back of your thighs, the feeling sticky and uncomfortable, but you’re more focused in his tongue dancing with yours. He tastes sweet – like mint and sugar – but his moans are sweeter, the sound dulcet and making you weak on your knees as you taste yourself on him.
Satoru tugs you forward, panic flooding you when you feel nothing under you. You feel like you’re falling again and you immediately encircle your arms around his neck, but he chuckles through the kiss, quick reflexes put into work as he carries you.
The kiss is sloppy yet heated, both of you unable to focus properly when he’s growing hard again. You expect him to take you to the bedroom to finish things for once and for all, but he’s impatient – this much you know the moment he walked in, but somehow keep forgetting – wrapping your legs to his waist instead before slipping inside you.
You mewl into his mouth, eyes snapping open to look at him nervously. His legs are slightly bent as he bounces you on his cock like you weighed nothing.
In this position, he’s hitting deep each time you slide down his cock. Unable to help it, you graze your foreheads with his to stare him deep in the eyes, the usual passion in them slowly returning with each thrust. The work is placed on his shoulders as he holds you close to him, the mind numbing sensation of your erect nipples grazing his sensitive skin enticing him to rut harder into you, all to enjoy the way you fall apart above him.
You’ve been rendered speechless, mouth fallen open to release breathy gasps. Hell, you’re unable to moan, not when his cock is sliding in and out of you so lusciously that you feel every vein protruding from the base of his length. How he manages to walk while fucking you is beyond your comprehension by now, but he seems to be having the time of his life based on his grunting, continuously fucking deep into your pussy so much that he refuses to let you go. Satoru kicks the door to your room open and places you gently on the bed this time, trapping you in his arms but with enough space to let you crawl back up on the bed. You stop as your head hits the pillows, and the mood immediately changes.
Satoru stays still inside you, his large hand cupping your face while you both catch your breath. There’s something unreadable about him. He feels young yet old at the same time, giving you the impression that perhaps he’s still just a child trapped in an old man’s body.
There’s so much fear swirling through the blueness of his eyes that you frown, marveling about what happened to him.
In the intimacy of the moment, you swipe the stray tear that had fallen down his cheek, smiling up at him in hopes he’d realize you’re always there for him. “Satoru,” you whisper, breath hitching as he starts to move. “Baby, what’s wrong?”
Satoru props you sideways, your leg flat on the bed while he hooks the other one over his thigh that is spread beside your body. You have to tilt all the way to the side just to see his face, your hand now bent in an awkward position. Although he doesn’t answer vocally, his gentle thrusts are enough to tell you he doesn’t want to talk about it – he never does, and he never will – so you shut your mouth, focusing on the pleasure of him hitting deep.
Your heart aches for him. You wish he could tell you everything, to share you his worries, and you can’t enjoy him fucking you too much because you’re crying, chest clenching that he’s growing distant no matter how close he is.
You don’t want to lose him.
“Hey,” he easily reads you, leaning down to flutter his eyes at you. “Nothing’s wrong. I’m just tired, okay, angel? But you’re making me feel good, you always do, so let me do the same for you,” Satoru kisses your tears away, the saltiness of it making him fuck harder into you, all to ignore the screaming inside his head.
He wants to hold you, he wants to kiss you, he wants to keep loving you like this, he wants to be with you, he wants to touch you – but it’s not that easy.
It’ll only keep getting harder in the future, but the future isn’t now. Today is the present, and it’s even more precious because you’re there with him. Right now, you’re untouchable by anyone but him, and it’s only him that gets to fuck you like this, only him who gets to see you whimper under him, only him who gets to kiss you hard while he fucks you deep.
He wants to fuck you hard enough that you never forget the feeling of him inside you.
Maybe he’s selfish, maybe he really is demonic, because he wishes that after this you won’t be satisfied with anyone else. He wants to fuck you hard enough you’ll keep wishing it was him, that it’s him who’s hitting your sweet spots and making you see stars, that it’s only him who can make you feel this good.
Satoru interlaces his hand with yours as he feels you tighten around him, the clamping down of your walls a telltale you’re near. You’re moaning, eyes dropping to where your bodies are connected. His cock is slicked with your arousal and he’s still thrusting to passionately, his hands touching you everywhere with the same ardor and impatience one would have when they know time is limited. And Satoru knows better than everyone that no amount of money can buy enough time in this world, because if such was a case, then he’d have done so long ago.
He silences his demons with the only way he knows how to; by kissing you and burying himself deep inside you, snapping his hips angrily as if they would counterattack his fears. Your hold on him is slipping from the sweat dripping down your bodies, but he doesn’t stop, his cock further stretching you out because he’s growing impossibly bigger.
Satoru’s cock twitches inside you, the motion pulling a gasp from you. He bites down on your shoulder, one hand gripping your other leg open as he grunts into your skin, his thrusts focused more on power than speed. He hits deep each time, the sensation of him sliding out slowly only to push back in vigorously to make your pussy throb too intense for you to even form proper sentences. He’s getting nearer, his thrusts growing more fervent and impatient. Satoru thumbs at your clit to coax you into following him, and with his thumb rubbing your clit and flicking it side to side, you end up finishing before him, your moan high-pitched and broken. He eagerly swallows the sound by releasing after you, refusing to pull out even as he feels both your cum trickle afterwards.
The sensitivity is too much for you that you have to push him away, and he complies, falling at your side but not before wrapping an arm around you first. His heartbeat is pumping under you, your hands tracing circles at his chest while he holds you impossibly close, littering kisses at the crown of your head.
It’s clear that something is wrong, but he won’t tell you no matter how much you ask. You know firsthand how annoying it is when someone can’t respect your space, so you close your eyes and let sleep overtake you instead, basking in the after sex glow and relieved only by his touch.
Hopefully, you think to yourself, he can tell you another time.
“Satoru,” you murmur seconds before falling asleep.
“Yeah?”
“If there’s something wrong…you’ll let me know, yeah?”
“Yeah,” he lies through gritted chest, pushing your head deeper into his sweaty chest. He has a habit of doing this; of pushing you close so you don’t see his face, so you don’t see the tears streaming down his face that are soon lost in your hair. You think that maybe he’s just breathing hard after work and fucking you, but he’s torn inside, feeling too broken that not even you could help fix his heart.
But you’re still there, and that’s enough for him. So he keeps his lips planted on your forehead all the way until the first sliver of light extends its fingertips over the horizon, the orange glow bathing you in an ethereal light while his body remained in the darkness.
It serves as a painful reminder that he’ll never be worthy of your love, that he’ll never earn the blessing that is your heart, that you’ll never truly love him the way he’s always wanted to be loved. Maybe now you think you do, but it will change once the darkness reveals his true nature, and the thought of you pushing him away hurts a lot more than having never been loved in the first place. To him, it’s a thousand times worse when you get a taste of something, only to have it pulled away from you.
And the longer he stays there next to you, he can’t help but picture your smile soon turned into a look of fear, your body bruised with marks and blood instead of his love bites.
They call him the notorious mafia leader who bows and yields to no one, but it’s not true. Gojo Satoru most definitely has his weakness, one that came into a form of his lover, and he can’t handle that you’d get hurt because of him someday that he believes it’s just better to let things be this way.
He’s silent from when he leaves the bed, refusing to look at you one last time as a final resolve of whatever is left in his strength. He quickly dresses himself and picks up your discarded robe on the ground, folding it and leaving it on the counter before shutting the door, the sound of his footsteps mute compared to the frantic beating of his heart.
Geto is already there at the lobby, his face empty yet eyes filled with sympathy. He opens the door for Satoru who slides in wordlessly, his lips pulled into a thin line while he punches in zeroes upon zeroes.
The words transaction complete flashes before him, and for a split second, he gets the urge to run back inside to hold you. But Geto clears his throat from the passenger’s seat, nodding at his phone that Satoru visibly deflates. His hands are numb the whole time he deletes your photos, your videos, and erases your contact, but it only hits hard that its over once he chucked the phone out the window, watching through his sunglasses as the device is crushed under another speeding car.
Its over, its over, its over – it keeps chanting at his head, and he wants to punch himself, wants to never see another daylight again every time he imagines you waking up alone and unable to find him. He wants to be sad, and he is, but there’s that relief blossoming inside him anyway that whispers its over, you’re safe that he can’t help but think…its okay, its over.
With that, Satoru rolls up the windows and nods at the driver who’s been waiting for him the whole time. He makes eye contact with a proud Geto from the rearview mirror, concealing his heartbreak with a laugh as he crosses his leg over the other.
“It’s over,” he says more to himself, “Let’s go.”
Gojo Satoru is a firm believer that if you work hard for it then you shall earn it. That’s the reason he got this far in life in the first place, he’s got his tenacity and dedication to thank for. But on the other side, he’s not unfamiliar with his own sins as well, and he also believes that there is punishment due for his sins as he’s earned it.
And the punishment of loving you – only to have you slip from his arms – is a punishment he’ll wholeheartedly accept.
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